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1. Why Does It Hurt To Leave What's Killing Me? by Taro_Whisper

   Fandoms: Chicago Fire, 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020), 9-1-1 (TV), Law & Order, Chicago PD (TV)  

   • Mature
   • Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • F/M, M/M, Multi
   • Complete Work

   10 Apr 2025

   Tags

   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey/Kelly Severide
   • Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
   • Sylvie Brett & Nolan Price
   • Frank Cosgrove/Nolan Price
   • Kelly Severide
   • Matthew Casey
   • Sylvie Brett
   • Wallace Boden
   • Randy "Mouch" McHolland
   • Christopher Herrmann
   • Joe Cruz (Chicago Fire)
   • Brian "Otis" Zvonecek
   • Stella Kidd
   • Tony Ferraris
   • Harold Capp
   • Owen Strand
   • TK Strand
   • Mateo Chavez (9-1-1 Lone Star)
   • Nancy Gillian (9-1-1 Lone Star)
   • Tommy Vega (9-1-1 Lone Star)
   • Judd Ryder (9-1-1 Lone Star)
   • Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star)
   • Marjan Marwani
   • Evan "Buck" Buckley
   • Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
   • Paul Strickland (9-1-1 Lone Star)
   • Carl Grissom
   • Benny Severide
   • Frank Cosgrove
   • Nolan Price
   • Buttercup (9-1-1 Lone Star)
   • Samantha Maroun
   • Jack McCoy
   • Evie Vega (9-1-1 Lone Star)
   • Isabella Vega (9-1-1 Lone Star)
   • Hank Voight
   • Grace Ryder (9-1-1 Lone Star)
   • Antonio Dawson
   • Jay Halstead
   • Adam Ruzek
   • Kim Burgess
   • Erin Lindsay
   • Hailey Upton
   • Alvin Olinsky
   • Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
   • Darren Ritter
   • Peter Mills
   • Michelle Blake (9-1-1 Lone Star)
   • Kevin Atwater
   • Odafin "Fin" Tutuola
   • Kate Dixon
   • Olivia Benson
   • Peter Stone (L&O: SVU)
   • Elliot Stabler
   • Jalen Shaw
   • I don't like Kidd
   • I Will Go Down With This Ship
   • Brettsyride FOR LIFE
   • Firehouse 126 Crew as Family (9-1-1 Lone Star)
   • literally fight me
   • They're so sweet
   • Good Parent Owen Strand
   • Hurt Kelly Severide
   • Hurt/Comfort
   • Angst
   • So much angst
   • Brettseyride Cuddles
   • Sleepy Cuddles
   • Found Family
   • Hurt Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star)

   Summary

   Having Benny in his life as a child didn't bode well for Kelly. Having Stella in his life now is destroying him, even as the two people he refuses to let himself love struggle to keep him from shattering completely.

   Series

   • Part 4 of How Our Lives Were Meant To Be
   • Part 1 of One Chicago L&O Shenanigans

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   37,764

   Chapters:

   16/16

   Comments:

   79

   Kudos:

   113

   Bookmarks:

   29

   Hits:

   5,193