Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Categories:
Fandom:
Relationships:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2017-06-12
Updated:
2025-10-09
Words:
25,751
Chapters:
20/?
Comments:
336
Kudos:
512
Bookmarks:
38
Hits:
6,446

Sincerely Me, Your Future Self

Summary:

Evan Hansen wakes up to find mail for him, and opens it up to find a letter from his future self.
It says he'll change the future. He'll fix problems. Mend relationships, start relationships, and break relationships.
He has no choice but to believe it.

OR KNOWN AS: Evan fucks up everything twice

**Now updating again 7 years later lol**

Notes:

Yes Hellloooo! Thanks for joining me on this journey!
Please read my other two fics that are tree bros:
https://archiveofourown.to/works/10926090/chapters/24302391
And:
https://archiveofourown.to/works/11087553/chapters/24733671
Lastly, my shitty tumblr:
http://failedfalencho.tumblr.com/

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

The alarm on his bedside table beeped obnoxiously as Evan Hansen blindly slapped his hand onto the alarm, shutting it off. Slowly, his eyes fluttered open, hissing as the light peeked through his blinds right onto his face. He listened to the hum of his fan and the birds chirp outside. Digging underneath his soft, plush blue blanket, he groaned. Today was Sunday, the last day of freedom. The Sunday before the first day of senior year. 

He laid there for what felt like hours before he finally sat up. He yawned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Glancing around at his messy room, he shut his fan off and swung his legs off the bed. He winced at the cold, wooden floors and shuffled over to his bathroom. Running a hand through his messy hair, he flicked on the light. Evan dreaded mornings. By no means at all was he a morning person. 

There was a zombie in the mirror that stared back at him. Evan glared at himself. He was the zombie. Purple bags under his eyes, pale, sickly skin, and the messy and greasy hair. What a catch. He splashed water onto his face, drying it off with a dirty towel on the floor from last night's shower. He combed his hair, attempting to look decent. Nodding to his slightly-less-shit appearance, Evan shuffled downstairs. 

In the dining room, Heidi Hansen sat there, sipping at her coffee. In front of her was a white envelope with a tree sticker as a seal. She looked up and gave Evan a tired grin. "Good morning Evan," she greeted. "There's a letter for you on the table. Weird right? Mail never comes on Sundays."

Evan raised an eyebrow as he slowly walked over to the letter, gingerly picking it up. He ran his finger along it, before snapping his gaze questioningly to his mom. "Who's it...Who is it from?"

She shrugged. "I don't know." Heidi stood up, dumping her mug in the sink. Evan eyed her scrubs. He wished she didn't have to work on the weekend, like most moms. "I'm going to work, honey. I love you," she announced, tenderly kissing him on the forehead. She grabbed her purse, waving at Evan and leaving the home.

Leaving Evan alone with himself and his thoughts. 

Evan used his bitten down nail to tear open the envelope. He pulled out a typed up letter. He nearly dropped it at the familiar letter.

Dear Evan Hansen,

Today won't be a good day. Or this week. Or the next week. Not this month. Not this year. Why would it? Especially today. Today is Saturday, the last weekend before senior year.

Yay. 

Evan gripped tightly onto the letter. This was his letter. The one to himself that he wrote yesterday. He forced himself to continue reading.

Recognize it?
 You should. Spoiler alert, you never turn in the letter. 

Anyway, I should introduce myself.

I'm Evan Hansen, and you're Evan Hansen. And I'm going to tell you how to fix everything.

Don't believe me? Okay. I know you broke your arm from "falling." Yeah. Falling. Right. I know what you really did, (me? Evan? you? I don't know how to refer to you I'm sorry) Your mom just left for work right? She didn't finish her coffee? Then later you won't do anything like normal teenagers do. You'll text Jared. You'll then go sit in bed for ten minutes, dreading the next day. Then you'll go watch Netflix until your mom comes home at midnight. Cue your guilty feeling, and you'll stay up all night dreading Monday.

Spot on, right?

No, I am not some stalker. Please. Please. Please. Listen to these letters. 

How will I know if you've done them and affected them?
Well, I shouldn't say. I don't want to ruin the future somehow. But please trust this, Evan. 

Sincerely,

Evan Hansen in a regretful future.

Evan was shaking. His legs were now jelly as he reread the paper over and over again. His future self? Wow. Funny prank.

Yet something told him to listen to it. 

The paper crinkled as his hold on the paper got tighter and tighter. He finally loosened his grip, numbly walking back to his room. He ran a hand through his hair, putting the paper on his desk and fishing out his letter from last night. He compared the two. The letter in his "future self's" and the one in his hands were indentical. All the way down to punctuation and the way the paragraphs formed. 

He might actually throw up. 

 

 

 

Well, the letter was right. Evan texted Jared awkwardly with one hand, he then sat in bed for ten minutes dreading the day, then watching Sherlock for rest of the day. 

It was Monday morning, and he got another letter.

Dear Evan Hansen,

Yes, it's your future self again. I know you read it. And I predicted what you'd do perfectly.

Anyway, go through your day as normally, but read this. Tweaks and changes that'll be made that you MUST follow.

  • You'll walk as normally
  • Alana will approach you, asking about your Summer.
  • WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT ASK ANYBODY TO SIGN YOUR CAST TODAY UNTIL I TELL YOU TO
  • Jared will come up to you, mocking you about your cast. Say nothing.
  • Connor Murphy will walk by you two. Jared will talk to Connor, and Connor will get pissed
  • EXHALE, COUGH, BREATHE, MAKE SOME SORT OF NOISE TO MAKE CONNOR DRAW HIS ATTENTION TO YOU WHEN JARED LEAVES
  • Connor will push you to the ground, calling you a freak. Don't explain yourself, do as I say

Evan winced. This paper did not seem like it wanted to really help him. He deflated. This was probably a joke.

However, as Alana approached Evan, he realized how real this letter was. And it terrified him oh my god.

"How was your summer?" She asked, bouncing on her feet. "Mine was productive. Eighty hours of community service. I know, wow."

Evan just let her ramble, not asking her to sign his cast like the letter said.

Alana glanced at him. "Oh my God! Your arm....What happened?" She asked. " It seems awful. You know, my grandma--"

"Yea I uh--" Alana cut him off.

 "Have a good Summer," she said before bounding off.

He slowly pocketed the sharpie, feeling odd.

Evan was about to continue reading the letter before someone called out to him, "Is this the first time ever breaking your arm from jerking off too much, or do you consider that an honor?"

Evan jumped, snapping his gaze to Jared strutting over, a smirk on his face. "Get the picture, you're on Zoe Murphy's instagram page on that off brand cell phone, your pants are down, you're in your dark ass and strangely clean room--" Jared glanced over at Evan, who was fighting the urge to blush and protest. The letter said to keep quiet, however. He prayed he wasn't being made a fool of. "Are you listening to me?" 

"Y-yeah..." 

"So anyway, how'd you really break it?" 

Evan figured it was safe to say how he broke it. "A tree. I uh...I fell..." 

Jared opened his mouth to reply, but he noticed Connor walk into view. He held up his finger to Evan, and called out to Connor, "Hey Connor!" He swaggered a bit closer. "Loving the new hair length very...school shooter chic!" 

Connor Murphy and Jared Kleinman stared at eachother for a few seconds. You could cut the tension with a knife. Jared awkwardly cleared his throat. "It was a...It was a joke?"

Connor took a threatening step forward, gripping onto his bag tightly. "Yea, no, it was funny. I'm laughing, can't you tell?" He took a few more steps forward. "Am I not laughing hard enough for you?"

Jared took a few steps back. He looked fearful, but he covered it up by saying, "You're such a freak!" And walking off. 

Evan glanced at him in horror. Like what the letter said, he coughed, exhaling rather loudly. God. He was going to get pushed and he'd cry and--

"What the fuck are you laughing at?"

Evan didn't defend himself, just stood there quietly.

"I'm talking to you!" 

Evan stayed quiet, bracing himself for the push. 

"stop fucking laughing at me! I'm not the freak, you're the fucking freak!" Connor pushed forward, shoving over Evan as he stomped off.

Evan quickly scrambled up, watching Connor's retreating form.

Evan went back to the letter:

  • Zoe Murphy will approach you.
  • Do not ask her to sign your cast. You'll get a chance to later.
  • DEFEND CONNOR. SHE'LL CALL HIM A PSYCHOPATH, BUT DEFEND HIM SAYING IT WAS YOUR FAULT AND HE'S JUST GOING THROUGH STUFF
  • She'll walk off
  • Continue your day as you normally would

Evan looked up, seeing Zoe approach him. Evan folded it up and quickly shoved it into his pocket.

"Hey!" She said. "I saw your brother push you...He's a pyschopath--"

Evan felt a surge of courage and saying, "he's not a psychopath." 

Zoe froze. "Wh-What?"

Evan was surprised by the lack of stuttering in his voice. "I--he's...He's not a psychopath. He has pro-problems...Like..Like we all do. He just can't handle them as well...I relate to that. It was my fault in the uh...in the end."

Zoe's eyes widened. She opened her mouth to reply, but quickly shut it. They stared at eachother, Evan fiddling with the hem of his shirt. He hated those awkward silences and he hates to be the one to break them.

"Oh..Okay uh...What did you...what did you do?" She asked after a few moments.

"He thought I l-laughed...at her--him." 

Zoe gripped onto her backpack straps. "Did you?"

"No." 

Zoe stuck her hand out awkwardly. "Uh...I'm Zoe."

Evan wiped his sweaty hands on his pants, but Zoe retracted her hand before they could shake hands. "E-Evan."

"I uh...I know. Um...Bye," She said, waving and walking off.

Evan breathed out the breath he didn't realize he held as he deflated. Time for class.

During class, he was shaken up. The letter was spot on about just about everything. Like if it went detailed, it even got the slight detail. It scared him, but it gave him a new rush of courage because he knew what would happen and he could change it.

At lunch, he pulled out the letter and read it again.

  • At the end of the day you'll go to the computer lab
  • WHATEVER YOU DO DON't PRINT ANYTHING. DON'T TYPE ANYTHING. DON't DO ANYTHING. JUST SIT THERE.
  • Connor will walk in, asking to sign your cast and apologize
  • He should mention how you defended him
  • Say yes to him signing your cast and apologize in return
  • Connor will say, "now we both can pretend we have friends
  • SAY, "WE DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND"GET HIS NUMBER
  • Then, when he leaves. And just as he leaves, say, "Stay safe, Connor."
  • Type up your letter, print it, and go home
  • Except whatever you do, leave Zoe out of your letter. Leave Connor out of your letter too

Evan pocketed the letter. He sighed. This seemed way too stressful for his tastes. However, as the letter said he went to the computer lab. His phone rang as he sat down at a random chair.

"Hey Evan," Heidi greeted.

Evan shifted awkwardly. "Hi."

"How was school?"

"Weird--" Evan froze. He then hastily added, "Weirdly great."

Heidi laughed. "That's great..." She said happily. "Have you written one of those letters."

"No I uh...I'm working on it in the computer lab right uh...right no-now."

"Make sure to work on those. Listen, I won't be home tonight. Erica called in with the flu...There's a twenty on the co-counter."

Evan awkwardly nodded. 

"I'm glad it was a good day honey--Oh shit. I got to go. Bye. Love you." Heidi hung up before Evan could say anything else.

He looked over and jumped. Connor stood there awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. He noticed Evan hung up and greeted, "Hi uh...I er...Sorry I pushed you in the," he stiffly gestured to the door that led to the hallway. "Hallway..."

Evan jumped out of his seat. "Uh...N-No it was uh...It was my fau-fault...I didn't laugh but you know...Yeah.I er...I understand."

Connor cocked his head to the side. He played with the black stud earring in his left ear. "Well I uh...I heard from Zoe you defended me...earlier. She accused me of brainwashing you," he chuckled humorlessly.

Evan chuckled along, drumming his fingers nervously on the desk. He better not screw everything up and then like his future self dies or something. "I hope you're not," Lightly joked back Evan. "I uh...But it..It was t-the uh...Erm..Right thing to ah...to do?" 

"Um...Thanks for uh...for that." Connor eyed Evan's cast. "Do you uh... Nobodys signed your cast."

Evan jumped, glancing at his bare white cast. "N-no.." 

"Well I'll sign it."

Evan thrusted a sharpie into Connor's hands, offering his arm. "Uh. Great. Uh...Yeah...Please...Er...Sorry." 

Connor grabbed it, scribbling his name in large letters, nearly covering the whole cast. He pulled away as they both glanced at his name. Evan slowly pocketed the sharpie. "Th-thanks..."

"Now we both can pretend we have friend."

This was it. Evan felt like throwing up, he was sweating, and his whole body trembled but he still felt like this was something he had to do. 
"We don't have to be fr-friends...If you can uh...give me--I mean you don't have to--give me your uh...Your number?"

Connor's eyes went wide as something unexpected twinkled in his eye. He nodded, not saying anything as Evan handed him back his sharpie. Connor grabbed Evan's uncasted handed and scribbled down his number.

Evan eyed it. He felt strangely giddy.

Connor took a few steps back before waving awkwardly. "I uh...I got to go...Zoe's...Zoe would probably you know..be waiting."

Evan waved. Just as Connor was in the door frame, Evan said, "Stay safe, Connor."

Connor glanced at Evan with something strange glinting in his eye as he left. The door shut loudly, leaving Evan in his thoughts. He slowly sat back in his chair, typing and printing his letter.

He'd make sure to turn this one in.

Evan looked back at his letter. There was few more stuff left on it.

  • TURN YOUR LETTER INTO DR. SHERMAN
  • JARED WILL TEXT YOU. DO NOT ANSWER
  • BEFORE YOU GO TO SLEEP, TEXT CONNOR, "Glad to have met you today, good night." 
  • Good night, and go to sleep. You'll get another letter and an interesting day if you did it right.

A chill went down Evan's spine as he did as the letter said. 

He had a feeling the letter was right. But no matter what, Evan had a feeling tomorrow in general would be interesting.