Chapter Text
A pile of cartoon playing cards sat in front of Frisk as they tapped their fingers together. They were staring at their own hand of cards, clicking their teeth in thought. “Are you looking?”
“What kind of question is that?” The voice in their head, known as Chara, responded with the slightest bit of humor in their tone.
Frisk ignored the remark. “Do you have… a little monkey with sunglasses?” And then, they picked up a second hand of cards.
Chara let out a whispery chuckle. “Go fish.”
“You’re too lucky at this!” Frisk started digging into the pile.
“What made you think this would work? Go Fish is a two-player game.”
“It’s working for me,” Frisk said back, giggling shortly, as they picked up the first card at the top. It was a dog holding a comically large lollipop. “Damn. That’s not a monkey.”
“Okay, okay. Do you have a – Frisk, my cards.”
“Oh!” Frisk held them back up.
“Do you have a…” And a little exasperated sigh from Chara. “Do you have a horse wearing a fluffy pink dress?”
“I do!” Frisk slid their own princess horse into Chara’s hand. Then, they grumbled just a little bit. “Awww. I’m hungry.”
“So go to the kitchen,” replied Chara drolly, always the voice of reason. “But, it’s still early in the day. I doubt anyone’s made anything yet.”
“I’m very focused on the game right now!” Frisk felt their hand drop to their side, and then watched it flop all over the place, completely terrorizing the piles and disrupting their harmony. The cards were scattered all over the hardwood floor, and as Frisk giggled, they felt the feeling return in their arm. “Hey!”
“Go eat,” Chara smiled (though Frisk was the only one who knew for sure that they were).
“Fine!” Frisk’s cheeks were going pink from laughing, but they stood up, grabbing the edge of their bed to steady themselves.
They didn’t do much in the mornings. Frisk was still wearing pajama shorts that had some sort of varietal banana pattern, and a very fancy pajama button-up that was MTT-brand. Feel well-rested and glitterized as soon as you wake up, and no refunds ever!
Heading downstairs, Frisk’s socked feet hit the carpeted staircase one after the other, and they yawned long and loud, stretching their arms out and rubbing their face so they didn’t look so sleep-kissed.
“After you eat, you should go back to sleep.”
“Noooo,” Frisk sighed, hand trailing down the banister as they refuted the very right friend in their head. “I have things to do. Like… be a person. And not be a bedbug.”
“Why not? You fit the criteria,” Chara quipped.
“Silence,” Frisk laughed, landing at the very bottom of the staircase and rounding the corner into the hallway. “I think, also, that Alphys was having an anime night tonight? I have to be a good host.”
“Oh, well, that is a good reason,” Chara hummed, and it was like their consciousness was idly spinning through Frisk’s skull.
“Quite!” Frisk nodded back. “Anime night comes but once a two times a week.”
“...Biweekly.”
“Wow, good for them.”
Frisk walked into the kitchen, reaching for the light switch, before realizing the lights were already on. They flapped their hand down, and turned off the lights, then blinked in confusion, before flipping them back on. “Oh. Whoops.”
Sans was standing in the kitchen, holding a mug with his name scribbled on it in permanent marker.
“...What are you eating?” Frisk asked lethargically.
“ALPHabeEt soup .”
“Oh. Okay.” Frisk nodded, before processing. “Why did your voice do that?”
“do what?” Sans asked teasingly, before going into the fridge and grabbing the same bag of chips he’d kept crumpled up in the meat drawer.
“Do. THAT.” Frisk waved their arms up. “The, uwguuawjWHuhwagh, thing. Why did it do that?”
“i don’t know what you’re talking about. maybe you’re hearing things.”
“Yeah, Frisk,” Chara said, a small smirk up in the nose of their voice, “maybe you’re hearing things.”
Frisk flapped their hand up absentmindedly, a wordless shut-the-fuck-up to Chara. “How come you’re eating alphabet soup at… uh, what time is it?”
“oooooooh. you’re dreaaaaminnnng. go back to sleeeeeeeeeep friiiiiisk.”
“Nooooo! That only worked one time!”
Sans laughed a little bit, putting a chip close to his face. It disappeared. “it’s 7:38. and i am making my voice deeper.”
“Why?” Frisk tilted their head, messy sleep hair falling to the right with their tiny baby face.
“i used to be a girl. don’t tell anybody, though.”
Frisk, for some reason, isn’t majorly surprised. It’s still enough for their mouth to hang a little slack-jawed, though, and for Chara, who was absentmindedly swimming in their brain, to snap up quickly and be majorly surprised for them.
“What?!” Chara, as soft-spoken as ever, is maybe reaching the top 10 loudest moments of their afterlife. Frisk would have to update the list later. “I thought we were done with exposition!”
“Woah. That’s super cool.” Frisk blinked, leaning in just a bit. “You’re acting so chill about this!”
“it’s been, like, a lot of years. but only a handful of guys know. so. shhhh.”
“Got it, got it. Shhhhh.” Frisk pinches their fingers together and runs them across their lips, mimicking a zipper. “How did you make alphabet soup do all that? Is it magic?”
“more like science. but… yeah, magic.” Sans tilted the mug a little bit, showing the contents. Just your average alphabet soup, but the letters are drawn in a lot of different ways. “we infused this with font replicators, so i just drink this, and my boy hat stays on.”
“That’s incredible!” Frisk clenched their fists and brought them under their chin, smiling widely.
“it’s definitely revolutionary,” Sans nodded. “figured this out a long time ago with alphys.”
“Again, I thought we were done with exposition,” Chara continued, chattering away. “Why does Sans always find a way to make everything we thought we knew wrong?”
“You guys are so smart,” Frisk remarked in awe.
“whateverrrr.” Sans poked them in the forehead, walking out of the kitchen. “anyone can be smart.”
“I don’t think that’s true,” Chara said back, knowing he couldn’t hear them, and watching him leave. “Unless he means it in one of his cryptic ways.”
“Definitely one of his cryptic ways,” Frisk whispered. “I thought we were done with exposition, too.”
“I gathered that Sans and Alphys were friends a long time ago,” Chara whispered, even though they didn’t have to, “but… giving alphabet soup the ability to change someone’s tone of voice?”
“I should drink some.”
“You really shouldn’t.”
“One drop, Chara, come on, you know you want to.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Chara! I could sound like Dom Toretto!”
“Do you even know who that is?” Chara asked rhetorically. “And don’t answer that. I know you don’t.”
“Get out of my head!” Frisk teasingly swatted up at their forehead, giggling with tiny snorts. “Okay, so Sans probably won’t say anything more.”
The thought of an evil little smirk buzzed in the back of Frisk’s head, and it was a sure sign that Chara’s scheming gears were turning with tactical ticks. “But you have to be a good host today.”
And that evil little smirk, of course, made its way to the corners of Frisk’s lips. “I can interrogate HER.”
“Wow, who gave you that idea?” Chara joked. “I was going to suggest striking up a friendly conversation. You have such a disgusting way of thinking.”
“No waterboarding. Just some tiny little hints. The lizard will talk.”
“I want to know what their history is, too,” they responded to Frisk, slowly thinking aloud. “We only know the most obvious parts.”
“Like how they were friends and NOTHING ELSE? I don’t buy it.” Frisk paused for a moment, before grumbling again. “I almost forgot! I’m hungry!”
“Good thing you’re in the kitchen.”
“Oh, Chara, I just can’t go on! Tell my kids I love them!”
“It’s a good thing you’re IN THE KITCHEN.”
“I have 27 kids, and they’re all the letters of the alphabet. You have to send letters to every single one.”
“27 kids…? And each of them have their own letter?”
“Yeauh.”
“...That just makes perfect sense. There are no flaws in your reasoning, Frisk. You’ll be an excellent progressive parent.”
“Progressive? Like I’m more than normal about the gays?”
“No, like… never mind.”
-
So, how in the world was he supposed to talk to him about this?
Alphys has a history of being understanding. Almost to a fault. But for some reason, he’s passed his stuttering nature onto Sans, and he can’t even think outside of the nerves. He told Alphys they needed to talk. Alphys agreed.
It was just how bad he loved Alphys. Sans hated to admit that there wasn’t romantic love there anymore. But there was still love, the kind of love like the seeds from golden flowers. The kind of love like thorns digging into your bones when you try and pick them. It wasn’t romantic love, but he can’t tangle it out of himself, so what was Sans getting ready to do? Cut the vines, so the source is gone, and he’s left with a bleeding heart?
The second Sans was sure about this, he asked Alphys to meet up. He’s the best. He’s Sans’ favorite person, and he was scared this would change the way Alphys saw him. Maybe that was a good thing. But being unapologetically himself wasn’t the hard part. What he called himself was only half of his identity. The other half was his better half, the one he was ready to spend the rest of his life with. It could still happen, just…
…no, what were you thinking? Call it off before he comes all the way to Snowdin, and gets cold, he hates getting cold –
“Hey!” SHIT. Alphys walked in, closing the door behind him. “It’s r-really cold out there, but, uh… you said you wanted to t-talk?”
“oh, hey,” Sans waved, clearly taking a deep breath in. “yeah, i, uh… needed to talk. about something. very important.”
“W-what a coincidence!” He also looked nervous. What. “Me too!”
“okay, cool,” Sans exhaled quickly, “so we’ll just both… go at the same time?”
“...Yeah??????”
So, like they always had, they put their heads together. Sans and Alphys leaned on each other’s foreheads, holding up their fingers, and counting down from five. Alphys didn’t happen to have five fingers, so Sans put down the last one for him.
“...i’m a boy.”
Alphys blinked. “...I’m a GIRL.”
And they both stared at each other for a minute.
“...never mind. this is going to be a hell of a lot easier.”