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  1. Tags
    Summary

    The mission was over. They’d failed spectacularly, and now all that was left for them to do was call for backup, and get the hell out of there. It was later. But he didn’t—Lemony swallowed shakily, ran a hand through his hair—he didn’t want to get scared, to feel the full weight of what had happened tonight. Not yet. Not ever.

    Two young Volunteers debrief after an eventful mission. Lemony picks up a new habit.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,807
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    13
  2. Tags
    Summary

    In the grand tradition of all parents, the extended Baudelaire family find themselves trying to pull a fast one.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,601
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    27
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Violet, Klaus, and Sunny walk into their brand-new temporarily-permanent home. Klaus carries the bags, and Violet carries Sunny.
    The house itself is very interesting- far bigger than Violet would have thought, but surprisingly cozy. She and Klaus both agree that it’s very mysterious.

    or

    Why on EARTH isn't this a crossover??

    [This is a direct continuation of a fic that I orphaned years ago, found
    here.
    Who knows if anybody's still interested in this mess of a story, but it's MY mess of a story and I want to continue it.]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,435
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    57
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    475
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Mildred Clementine Mortimer was not a Baudelaire in name or blood, but she was in the ways that actually mattered. She had been raised alongside the children since she was a baby due to their families being close. Her parents had left her in the Baudelaire's custody when she merely was 9 months old and they promptly disappeared and were presumed dead. When the Baudelaire's died she was to be moved with their children as their sister in all legal circumstances, after all she WAS their daughter. This left her in several unfortunate circumstances, but the Baudelaires were her family and she wasn't about to leave them.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,114
    Chapters:
    7/13
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    117
  5. Tags
    Summary

    “Snicket is being unreasonable, as usual,” Theodora said.

    “I am not.”

    “Is there a way I can help?” Bertrand offered.

    [lemony, theodora, and bertrand solve a mystery.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,524
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    42
  6. Tags
    Summary

    A man has come back to the city. Beatrice Baudelaire, eight years old and miles away, is trying to find him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,686
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    39
  7. Tags
    Summary

    The thing is, Ernest doesn't think Beatrice Baudelaire deserves Lemony Snicket.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,588
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    47
  8. Tags
    Language:
    Español
    Words:
    1,284
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    23
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Esmé takes her tea with milk and sugar.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    416
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    27
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Gustav had done a fair bit of wandering through the desert in his time as a volunteer. Wandering through the desert can mean both literally moving around in a dry climate, and, figuratively, it is sometimes a metaphor for thinking through something that is beyond a person's understanding. Sebald was doing both, in search of a well.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,508
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    58
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “The days have been long, Baudelaires.” The man spoke again, handing Sunny over when Klaus reached for her. “The world is quiet here, My name is Lemony Snicket. How do you feel about root beer floats?”

    The Baudelaires sneak into the back of the taxi, expecting further tragedy. Little do they expect, this may mark the beginning of hope.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,948
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    404
  12. Tags
    Summary

    "𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑚𝑒; 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑠𝑒 𝑚𝑒; 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑒; 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚, 𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑎 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑟𝑎𝑤𝑙 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢."

    -------

    In Julia's tragic tale, she is destined to become Olaf's experiment; his apprentice; his daughter. Count Olaf found her in one of the houses' he burned down, intrigued by her reckless and violent nature, he rips her away from the ashes of what used to be her home. Though Julia was only 4, Olaf saw her as a weapon waiting to be honed.

    After 8 years of training, Olaf introduces a new goal: the Baudelaire's fortune. After burning down the Baudelaire estate - with help from Julia - Olaf pulls off a scheme for the Baudelaire children to fall into his grubby hands.

    Throughout this series of unfortunate events, Julia's cruel mindset begins to shift, finding Olaf's actions to be barbaric. Each decision she makes felt like a slippery slope, as if morality was slipping from her fingertips. As she uncovers the mystery behind VFD, she discovers information about her true parents which leads her to question why she embodied such brutality.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    74,203
    Chapters:
    10/30
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    179
  13. Tags
    Summary

    A boy has come to town. He's not Lemony, but there are a lot of similarities.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,358
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    146
  14. Tags
    Summary

    He needed an anagram for Kit’s name. Luckily, anagrams were one of his many specialities. His pen drifted to the margin of the page. He started by writing out her full name, all in capitals. KIT SNICKET. Ten letters, three vowels. Then he got to work.

     

    Olaf entertains himself in Literature Class.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,715
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    98
  15. Tags
    Summary

    “I don’t like this,” Violet said, kicking a piece of ice on the sidewalk.
    Klaus wiped the snow off of his glasses as he walked. “Going to school or leaving Sunny and Beatrice?”
    “Leaving Sunny and Bea, of course.”

    Or, after the island, the Baudelaires try to live a normal life.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,539
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    88
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1,485
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Life was relatively normal for you, as normal as it can be for any normal teenage girl that was orphaned under mysterious circumstances at a young age and sent to the austere academy that was Prufrock Preparatory School. Or at least, it was normal until the Baudelaire orphans came along and brought count Olaf with them, the guy who made his way into your life worse than the Spanish conquistadors.

    Where will your unsavory encounter lead to? Will it be more misery, or maybe redemption? And if so, for who?

    (A.S.O.U.E. belongs to Daniel Handler and I make no claim to his work or his characters, besides the main one that I have created for the purpose of a reader insert and that isn't his)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,351
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    196
  17. Tags
    Summary

    As the sun dipped below the horizon, momentarily filling the skies with red and orange hues, the Baudelaires watched each other uneasily. The three children were soon surrounded by darkness, marking a new, darker chapter in the already bleak narrative of their lives.
    The three Baudelaire children are left stranded on an island with their worst enemy, Count Olaf. Hidden from all signs of civilisation, the vile man is now free to claim Violet as his own, like he had always intended.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,282
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    737
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Five years after ATWQ, Ellington returns to Stain'd-by-the-Sea and runs into Moxie. They argue, and then they kiss, and, slowly but surely, learn to forgive each other, reconcile all of the wrongs that had happened all those years ago, and find a safe place within each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,717
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    169
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Twelve years after the events of The End, as told by Lemony Snicket, this is the dreadful and melancholy story of how Violet Baudelaire learned that not all memories can stay dead and buried.

    And that sometimes, fearing the monster under your bed is not all that irrational.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,579
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    785
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Lemony straightened and read over his letter, nodded to himself, then bent over it again and began to write.
    “Who are you writing to?” asked Frank over his shoulder.
    Lemony startled in surprise. He hadn’t heard Frank coming, and was so used to not revealing names that he didn’t even think to tell the truth.
    “I- my editor,” Lemony stammered. Yes, editor, that will work. “For my newspaper column.”
    Frankly hummed. “Hmm. Frankly -pardon the name- I’m surprised you haven’t been fired yet.”
    “I’m sure it will happen sooner or later,” Lemony murmured.
    He scratched out 'Nicholas Benedict' and put in 'Editor' –safety, everything for safety– and wrote.

    A series of letters from Lemony Snicket to Nicholas Benedict.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,727
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    42

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