21 - 40 of 45 Works in Nonbinary Jake English
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she is absolutely not a trained piercing professional by tacit_semantics
Fandoms: Homestuck
24 Apr 2022
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Alternate titles: Being a God Does Not Preclude You From Body Piercing Etiquette (Expect for When it Does); Don’t Try This At Home, Thanks; PSA: If You or a Loved One Have Been Affected by Gender, Than You May be Entitled to Financial Compensation; and, of course, Self-Discovery 2: This Time It’s Personal
Or: in which Jade pierces Jake’s ears
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agnus dei (transl: sacrificial lamb) - a person sacrificed for the greater good
In which the Crown Prince of Derse stumbles upon the best-kept secret of Prospit.
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- Part 2 of the prince and page
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One evening, He takes you to the small cemetery you two had made in the backyard. "Here lies the home you had a hand in making, alongside the family who had lived in it" He reads the lettering on its tombstone. You were the one to bury it. Neighboring its coffin between your dead wife and the life you accepted as normal. In spite of this shocking turn of events, you can't help but be glad it's gone. You may just be speaking from a perspective of power in this situation. Or maybe It's just the effect he has on you.
In which (after little to no convincing by Brain Ghost Dirk) Jake murders Jane. He believes he's gotten away with it and is free to pursue the life he's wanted. But after framing the wrong troll, he and Dirk are in for a long holiday.
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Dirk is seeking out a witch to heal his curse, and is thrown off his path by a Beast. Jake takes him in. Gay yearning and secrets ensue.
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On a faithful "night" around 3 in the morning, Dirk accepted an odd email, assuming in his sleep deprived state that it was a design update on one of his commission requests.
Turns out he had just accepted an invite to the most chaotic and confused virus he could have imagined.
Even worse: They're trying to be his friend.
(title art by heartsrevo [all platforms])
[Indefinite Hiatus] -
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Stranded at an airport in bumfuck-nowhere, USA in the 1990s, right at Hanukkah and Christmas, twenty-somethings Dirk and Jake meet at an airport Applebee's.
Then, as luck would have it, that's where they meet again, almost thirty years later.
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In the crocker-ran future, Jake English takes over as the host of his late grandfather's cabaret show. He thought he learned to make peace with the mundanity of his life. When the familiar face of his best friend who's been missing for 15 years shows up one night, Jake begins to question that thought.
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Since the dawn of Skaia, Derse and Prospit have been at war. Two kingdoms each fighting for their way of life, separated forcibly by thick woods, a seemingly unfindable bridge and an unfixable rift between the destructive nature of humans and stubborn trickery of the fae. But when crowned prince of Prospit Jake finds himself at the feet of his assumed enemy Dersite prince Dirk Strider, everything warps. What happens when Dirk wants release from the weight of a cruel kingdom, when Jake craves freedom from a heavy crown, when two souls both so unlike in nature yet so similar in spirit meet and swear allegiance to each other under a chance? Will they succeed in rejoining two hateful kingdoms, or will they fail and lose everything, including each other?
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Two gay princes try to save Skaia and in turn, each other.
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He was not the absence of colour, but the abstract form of all. A canvas made black by each shade mixing together to form a nameless masterpiece.
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Jake reflects on his forever, one Dirk Strider
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In which an artist falls in love with his work.
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Aren't you TIRED of longing? don't you just want to go APESHIT while dating your best bro? I mean, you've earned it, right?
(This is a collection of oneshot mini comics. marked as complete, updates whenever.) -
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jake contemplates the world atop the roof of his shared room with dirk. (the warning tags aren't there for show.)
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You, DIRK STRIDER, have needed to urinate since approximately 10AM. That was around four hours ago. There are no working restrooms in this realm of literature due to somebody taking a shit equivalent to a weapon of mass destruction in the men’s restroom, so the only comfort rooms nearby are outside the front doors and settled in a corridor in between a GameStop and a Uniqlo. Once you're freed from the shackles of work that capitalism has placed upon you, you're pretty much raring to go and take a piss.
BUT. (Colors invert, image flips vertically.) You make a tragic mistake.
TL;DR - Don't drop your packer in the stalls.
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Here you are, Dirk Strider, officially fucking killed. R.I.P. Dirk, died of absolute faggotry. Jake English is the culprit, but he isn't charged because he has absolutely no idea it even happened.
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- Part 1 of senses
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THE FRECKLED FIEND, EXASPERATED: Why are YOU mad?
YOU, MAD: Im not really mad.
DIRK: Yes you are.
YOU, NOT ACTUALLY MAD ANYMORE: No seriously. Just a jest bro.
DIRK, COMPLYING: ...Fine.It’s awkward. Awkward as most things are when you’re having a chance encounter with an old flame who you've been ghosting for two weeks straight.
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DIRK: I’m gonna need you to walk me through the steps. Think of it as wooing me, here.
DIRK: What’s in it for you?
DIRK: Why do you want this?
JAKE: Well when you shove me hard on the spot like that a fella starts feeling a little bit silly.
JAKE: How shall i put this...
JAKE: Have you ever seen the movie Avatar, dearest?
JAKE: It stars these huge and really elegant androgynous alien catpersons of various blue hues frolicking about in the jungle and experiencing primal intimacy through the act of downright spiritual brainfucking.[ Jake wants to have an "honest conversation" with Dirk about some of his wants and buried anxieties.
Apparently, the upper echelons of English's hierarchy of needs are pretty curious about the whole... narrativic ordeal. ] -
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The three-month anniversary of your honeymoon is in just a few days. You're thriving. All's right with the world. You're working on your next piece of interactive fiction, the afternoon sun is still out, and everything points to a perfect, lazy Saturday. Except...
Jake seems to have misplaced his dick in the shower.
The situation is exactly as ridiculous as it sounds.
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Jake and Dirk meet each other on vacation as kids, become best friends forever for a month, and then Jake has to leave. And even as he tells himself that he'll never meet his friend again, he can't quite give up hope. There's something he didn't get right the first time around, and even if second chances are rare, they're not impossible
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the entire history of human desire takes about seventy minutes to tell (unfortunately, we don't have that kind of time) by arsenicGodh3ad
Fandoms: Homestuck
19 Dec 2020
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We have not been given all the words necessary.
We have not been given anything at all.
We’ve been driving all night.
We’ve been driving a long time. -
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Dirk's lovely oddball roommate (for whom he's harbored the most Reddit-infamous crush of the decade, in a post that has gone viral after a fateful event) suggests they make a few edibles for quick cash. But of course, someone has to try those, and who better than the cooks themselves? Hilarity, gender, horror, and 11.1k Upvotes ensue.
(Or: And They Were Roommates, except neither knows how much weed goes into an edible and both are horrible, terrible, no good gay dumbasses. Events are set prior to the first fic, contextualizing Jake's behavior)
Series
- Part 2 of Two Idiots At Homoville, N69, TX