DontOffendTheBees
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The Great Escape Debacle of 2025 by artemisadore, dearheartdont, DontOffendTheBees, Fenristheulv, ghostinthelibrary, m_erlin_s, Nigg, zilia
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
12 Oct 2025
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When Charles and Edwin find themselves in a strange place with no recollection of how they got there and no immediate means of escape, each room they enter presents them with a completely new mystery. They have to find a way to escape while navigating what each room reveals about their friendship.
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OR: a potion week collab between 15 authors and artists. Each author wrote a different chapter and was paired with an artist who made art for their chapter. -
A Heart’s A Heavy Burden by dear_monday, DontOffendTheBees, two_ravens
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
24 Aug 2025
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The Wizard King’s reputation preceded him wherever he went, wherever the roaming form of his impossible moving castle carried him. His was a reputation drenched in blood and carnality, in licentious desires and grisly ends. A reputation of dangerous beauty, intoxicating charm; of a smile sharp when it grinned into the bright young faces of hapless townspeople, and sharper still when it sank into their chests to taste their beating hearts.
A chilling little story, to be sure, and a concerning one to have slunk its way to their doorstep, but Edwin wasn’t overly worried about it.
After all, the Wizard King only ate the hearts of the pretty ones.
He was Edwin Payne of Payne & Sons Bespoke Tailoring; he was always and only of Payne & Sons. Such was his station in life, a role he himself was tailor-made for. A role he fit like a drab but finely-crafted glove. And so it went—until the day a wizard and a witch conspired to turn his tidy little life upside down.
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Third Contact of a Brief, yet Significant Eclipse by DontOffendTheBees for dear_monday
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
01 Feb 2025
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July 21st 1969.
Edwin, eyelids fluttering shut, yields to his gravity. Lips sealed over lips, Edwin opens, and Thomas fills him with his air, his smoke, that thick, heady tang, passed from mouth to mouth. Edwin draws it steadily into his lungs, a smile teasing the corners of his mouth at the thought of how he would have coughed it back into Thomas’ face when they first made their acquaintance. He doesn’t partake on his own time, but he has long learned to embrace the little luxuries Thomas brings into his life for what they are to him; gifts from far-off lands. Be it South America, Spain, or simply the streets of Soho; each as distant as the next to Edwin, holed up in his esoteric bunker.
“Mm.” Thomas breaks away with a sigh. “Sounds like you're screwed.”
Edwin exhales, eyes flickering open to watch the smoke curl from their lips to the ceiling. Mingling amongst the garlanded string-lights Thomas had conjured into being with a snap of his fingers for 'mood lighting', blurring them, swirling them. Their own little galaxy. He plucks the joint from Thomas’ fingertips, neatly, and tucks it between his own lips with a sly smile. “I certainly hope to be.”
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Welcome to Earth in the year 2046: here be monsters. Thirty years ago, a fissure opened in the ocean floor and unleashed creatures from another dimension upon an unsuspecting planet. When the world is ending, only two things can save it: the power of love - and giant, kaiju-fighting robots.
Crystal Palace fled the Jaeger Program after the death of her partner and now scratches out a living hauling stolen parts for illegal mech cage-fights in exchange for cash and the odd ration card. She’s satisfied with the grubby anonymity of her new life, until a face from the past arrives to pull her back into a jaeger.
Niko Sasaki was never supposed to be a jaeger pilot. After the death of her family in a kaiju attack, her guardian moulded her for command: the Jaeger Program is her inheritance. However, in a dying world, plans change, and Niko finds herself preparing to step into battle with the girl whose heart she broke.
A Pacific Rim AU.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,075
- Chapters:
- 2/5
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 51
- Kudos:
- 28
- Bookmarks:
- 6
- Hits:
- 273
Bookmarked by DontOffendTheBees
27 Sep 2025
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it changes when the sun goes down by dearheartdont for cutevamp
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
07 Sep 2025
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The prospective punter is fit, though. Cool green eyes below dark, thick brows. His swept-back hair loosened, so strands hang over his forehead. He looks like an old-fashioned film star with the monochrome of his dark hair against pale skin.
Charles' usual spiel—"Do like what you see? You can see more if you like…"—dries up in his throat, and instead he blurts out, "What's the word that means a politer word for something?"
The man's mouth opens, closes and opens again. "A euphemism?" The man's voice is posh, but pleasant.
Charles leans in closer to the window and smiles. "Thanks, mate. It was on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't get it. You okay? I can help with directions if you're lost."
"I'm not lost," the man says. "I came here on purpose." His voice gets smaller. "For sex."
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1990s London. Winter.
Charles Rowland is a sex worker who needs to cover the rent.
Edwin is an attractive new punter with a Mercedes and a request.
(A PWP with shifting power dynamics, dom/sub undertones and a desperate Edwin on his knees in the moonlight).
Bookmarked by DontOffendTheBees
07 Sep 2025
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dirty thoughts (about you) by artemisadore, thewritingotter
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
30 Aug 2025
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Of course it would be just Thomas’ luck that his kitty would be fucking punctual as fuck.
“Door's open, come on in!” he calls, sounding more strained than he'd like. “Make yourself comfortable, sweetheart!”
God, he sounds like such a fucking perv.
But Thomas doesn't have time to worry much about that, not when he's flinging a silky robe over his boxer briefs.
But his guest must have heeded his instructions, because he can hear the light clicking of heels and a soft British accent calling primly, “Tidy Titty Kitties. Where your home is left clean, but you feel a bit dirty.”
Thomas snorts at the utter disdain dripping from the silky smooth voice. A voice that is oddly familiar, come to think of it. Which he doesn't. Think of it, that is.
At least until he rounds the corner from his kitchen to his front foyer, where he comes face to face with someone very familiar indeed.
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Thomas King, a university history professor, hires a sexy maid to help him maintain his new home. He never imagined that the tidy titty kitty would be his most brilliant (and infuriating) student, Edwin Payne.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,400
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 107
- Kudos:
- 144
- Bookmarks:
- 20
- Hits:
- 1,701
Bookmarked by DontOffendTheBees
31 Aug 2025
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Port Townsend, 1932: the streets are dark with something more than night. Crystal Palace: a dame with no past—but she does have a dead man in her bedroom. Niko Sasaki: her neighbour—and maybe a little more than that. Edwin Payne: a private investigator with a knack for making trouble his business. Charles Rowland: a homicide detective who joined the police force because he believes in justice—though this case may break him of that habit. Why do Port Townsend’s girls keep disappearing? What’s the deal with the local speakeasy, the Cat’s Pajamas? And who really runs this town?
A noir AU for the DBDA Big Bang, with art by meip
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,830
- Chapters:
- 7/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 217
- Kudos:
- 87
- Bookmarks:
- 15
- Hits:
- 1,260
Bookmarked by DontOffendTheBees
18 Aug 2025
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Slipshod: One Agency’s Attempt to Bring Niko Sasaki Back From the Dead by The_IPRE for DontOffendTheBees
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
16 Aug 2025
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It is a messy process, mud spattering across all of them, the canvas they work on, the tarp that Crystal draped over her couch before they began. There is something satisfying to it even so, and as the afternoon wears on into evening, Edwin finds himself putting his frustration into the motions, exorcising the anger and heartbreak and grief that has been festering within his spectral chest in the months since Niko died before his eyes while he lay bound and useless.
He is not made useless anymore, though, and so as the pile of wedged clay in the center of the room grows, so too does Edwin’s certainty in his work. He believes in the process and the craft with all his heart, in all of the messy pieces that will give them a fraction of a better chance at success.
He has to.–––
crystal, charles, and edwin work to bring niko back the old fashioned way: by building her a new body from clay
Series
- Part 6 of ash's post-canon timeline
- Part 11 of becoming crystal palace
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,834
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 8
- Kudos:
- 24
- Bookmarks:
- 7
- Hits:
- 230
Bookmarked by DontOffendTheBees
17 Aug 2025