HelpCrowleysPlants
Fandoms
Recent works
-
Tags
Summary
After a funeral goes wrong, the only person who comes to Rudyard's aid is his mortal enemy, Chapman.
-
Tags
Summary
Kepler makes a mistake at work and Jacobi has to pay for it. Basically, Cutter is the worlds worst boss
-
Tags
Summary
Nureyev gets himself a tiny bit stabbed, and is totally fine. How much blood does one human need anyway?
Name is from that one scene from Monty Python Quest for the Holy Grail
-
Tags
Summary
Peter Nureyev likes to keep a close eye on the news. Especially regarding a certain private investigator. When he heard about the rumors surrounding the new mayor of Hyperion City, he knew he needed to give Mayor O’Flaherty a visit.
-
The Messenger by HelpCrowleysPlants
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
07 Mar 2020
Tags
Summary
Gabriel tells Mary she’s pregnant
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 669
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 14
- Hits:
- 187
Recent bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
Arishat meets the man right away.
He’s wearing Roman armour and the sight of it almost makes her scream; she wants to groan. Wants to shout. Wants to attack him with her bare hands, but when she shifts, her body coiling into itself, a bowstring ready to snap, it sends a wave of pain and nausea through her, and-
Right.
The battle.in which Arishat and Maximus meet in the afterlife
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
09 Jul 2025
-
Tags
Summary
"Chapman cleared his throat. “I say, Rudyard,” he said. “You look like you haven’t been sleeping all that well lately.”
The worst part, Rudyard thought irritably, was that he didn’t even look down at his script while saying it. He’d already memorised the bloody lines.
“Yes, well I haven’t,” Rudyard read slightly woodenly from his script. “I’ve been sleeping on a mattress filled with straw and old bicycles. Hold on-” Rudyard lowered the script and shot Jennifer Delacroix an annoyed look. “Why am I the one sleeping on the junk mattress? Can’t I have the good one?”
In an attempt to rescue the state of Funn Funerals' finances, Rudyard agrees to do a mattress advertisement for Piffling FM. He wasn't expecting to be co-starring alongside Eric Chapman - or for there to be a er, practical element to the ad spot. And to make things worse, there's only one mattress...
-
Tags
Summary
After an accident at Chapman's, Funn Funerals find themselves down an undertaker with mere days left of their temporary monopoly. Eric is, somehow, having a worse week than they are.
Chapman gains an uninvited houseguest; Antigone relives several experiences she'd rather not; Rudyard discovers he doesn't need a body to be a nuisance. A haunting has come to Piffling Vale, and no one wants to be there—least of all the ghost.
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
15 Oct 2024
-
Tags
Summary
There were a variety of reactions when Rudyard broke the news. Antigone was at a loss for words in her disbelief, communicating through incredulous syllables and exasperated looks. Georgie just gave a knowing smile, which Rudyard found confusing and vaguely unsettling. And Chapman... well, he was there, too. Which was completely irrelevant.
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
15 Oct 2024
-
Tags
Summary
Hidden in the English Channel there is an island called Piffling. On the island, there is a town called Piffling Vale.
Six months after our settlement earning its township, life in Piffling remains mostly undisturbed and - to a great extent - the same as before. It is as if a large part of the 21st century marked the single mile of Piffling as out of bounds.
But you can't avoid change forever. And, at long last, it has come to Piffling Vale. Things will never be the same again. And no one knows that better than Rudyard Funn, whose feud with his immensely popular rival, Eric Chapman, was the first thing to stir up changes in our town's tepid life.
Chapman brought with him variety, excitement and a chance for everyone to enjoy themselves. And while his practice remains the favoured funeral home for many, Rudyard is quietly confident that a busy and thriving town like Piffling can easily support two funeral homes.
So it's a real pity that we are getting shut down now!
Yes, you see, Rudyard Funn used to run a funeral home in the town of Piffling Vale.
He doesn't anymore.
Bookmarked by HelpCrowleysPlants
15 Oct 2024