Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jane Hopper was either philanthropical or completely unforgiving. Or that's how Max saw it as, anyway.

The boys almost always mentioned her in most of their conversations, be it a retelling of past events or just something humorous or impressive Jane had done and yet she still didn't know the other girl very well because hearing it from others was one thing and being there when it all happened was another. Much like how she never really knew if her hair was a mess, even when someone described it for her until and unless she saw it for herself.

She knew where and how Jane had grown up and why her name was a number for crying out loud. She knew the girl had a buzz cut when she had first met the boys and Mike had hid her in his basement. She knew what the other girl was exactly capable of and the asshole, Brenner. She knew Eleven only let the people she was close to call her El and she had also come to know that she was not one of those people. (For her, it was Jane.)

She knew all this and so much more, but it somehow amounted to nothing because Jane hadn't spared her a second glance and the first glance hadn't even been a glance because she also knew a glare when she saw one.

She reckoned Mike was the one who knew Eleven the most. He had never said so and neither had Eleven, but Max noticed how they both most of the time didn't need words to communicate, their eyes did the talking, how Mike's smile was contagious for Jane and vice versa. It wasn't the same with the other party members, but that wasn't a bad thing because Mike was sort of like El's best friend, she could tell. Maybe he was something even more, that she couldn't really figure out, but Dustin always found ways to cheer El up and Lucas was always acting like a protective big brother and Will, soft sweet Will, shared the same love for silence that El had. She had seen them basking in it, just appreciating the peace and the absence of noise. They all had their own soft spots in the curly haired girl's heart, well everyone except her, she reckoned.

After meeting Jane or more like trying to meet Jane, she had tried to befriend the brunette time and time again, against her better judgement because almost a year had gone by and she was still waiting for something to 'click' between the two of them, for better or for worse; she didn't even know, she would take either by that point. However, she wasn't really the one to be blamed because her judgement and rationality somehow always tended to get hazy when it came to Jane. She wasn't really sure what she had ever done to make the brunette hate her so much, but after a while she sort of let it go and let things be. What else could be done? Maybe she was just one of those people to Jane that the girl couldn't help, but dislike for no reason whatsoever. The thought was depressing, but she had racked her brain for other possible reasons and come up with none. 

After giving her a glare and a very cold shoulder, Jane had never again acknowledged her presence at all. She wished she could do the same, look through the brunette as though she was glass; transparent and blank.

And it wasn't that she was a coward or afraid of what Jane would do or say if she tried harder. It was just that she wasn't a fan of humiliation or embarrassment and those were the two things the other girl made her feel a lot (aside from nervousness that shouldn't last so frigging long and adoration she hadn't ever felt for a person before).

She had days where even the thought of brunette was enough to get her blood boiling and sometimes it was comforting to just drown herself in that abyss of dislike, it gave her a twisted sense of power over her own emotions because she could look Jane in the eyes those days without her throat going dry and then, there were the other days Jane was the reason she slept a little later than usual and ran late to school the next day.

She loved everything that had to do with Eleven because goddammit, it was Eleven, but she hated it too because of how much it all mattered to her while she didn't even amount to a speck of dust to the other girl.

It was unfair and that made her madder.

She had tried to kill the feelings that spurred within her chest and stomach; all over whenever she saw the other girl with her soft tuft of curly brown hair and the way her eyes shined considerably brighter when she was happy and how they softened when she was with the boys or Hopper or Joyce or just anyone that she cared for really, her pale skin that hadn't seen a lot of sun, her dimples.. her smile. 

Goddamn her smile because Max found it so uplifting and refreshing  and rare. Not a lot of people had smiles like that; the one's that author's wrote about in books, the ones that could literally light up rooms, but Jane did. Of course, she did. Jane wasn't other people.

And goddarn the girl because she was falling and sinking deeper everyday. She was in love (had been since that first time she saw the brunette) with someone who didn't want to do anything with her, someone who had quite obviously hated her since first sight, someone who broke her heart a little more every day, someone who ignored her so brazenly she sometimes started doubting her own existence and because of that all, Eleven being a girl was the least of her worries.

Why worry when nothing was ever going to happen, right? At least that was a burden she didn't need to carry.

She had never offered her heart up for the slashing, ever, but Eleven had somehow stolen it and split it in half before she could even realise what the unusual adoration she felt for the other girl even meant.

It was just so frigging unfair. 

The 'butterflies in the stomach', the 'jittering electricity', the 'it takes my breath away', the 'I don't see anyone else, but you' was real, but the 'it would never happen' was somehow more real.

And it was just her luck, she was a victim to the painful kind of love.
It sucked and she was screwed, but then what did not and when was she not?

...

"Watch the attitude, shitbird!" Billy shouted, a cigarette dangling from his mouth and his eyes familiarly hard.

She flipped him off as soon as she was out of the car.

Good for nothing asshole.

Her gaze flitted over the parking lot, seeing Will getting out of Jonathan's car which made her slightly less annoyed the world as she opted to wait by the Arcade's entrance. He noticed her a moment later as Billy's car sped away and his face broke into a smile as he walked over.

"Hey, Max," he murmured as he got within her earshot.

"Hi. You ready to lose another high score?" she smirked, wiggling her eyebrows.

"You have all the high scores, Max," he sighed out, giving her a very unamused look before stopping beside her and looking off into the small lot.

"Guess I'll just set the bars higher then," she chuckled with a sigh of relief when three familiar bicycles turned around the corner.

"Mind being a little less slow?!" she yelled when Dustin hopped off his bike, waiting for the other two boys to finish talking.

Mike rolled his eyes, pointedly at her, before hopping off as Dustin waved at her and Will. Lucas, however, grinned devilishly and started walking even more slowly.

She threw her hands up in the air, somehow not even finding his antics surprising. 

"I'm going in," she muttered, giving Will a nudge before entering the Arcade.

Warm air hit her as soon as she burst in through the doors, making her sigh in relief. She didn't think she would ever get used to the cold air of Hawkins and she didn't want to, either. Getting used to it would mean not finding it whipping through her waves nice and she wasn't really in the mood to look for something different and new.

The Arcade wasn't exactly bustling, most likely because it was a weekday. She preferred it that way. They wouldn't have to wait for the machines to be free.

"All right, so, what's your count?" Mike asked, coming to a stop beside and getting straight to business as always.

She fished said coins out of her pocket, dropping them into his waiting palm, "6 quarters."

"A total of–" he paused, counting off on his fingers before summing up– "20 quarters, sweet."

A gust of cold air hit her as the Arcade doors behind them opened and she looked behind herself annoyedly at the newcomer only to gape as she saw someone who had the ability to either make her day or ruin it thoroughly.

Jane.

"This isn't a coincidence, is it?" she asked Dustin who was standing beside her.

"Nah. You think Hopper would let her roam around like that?" he shot back back rhetorically.

She turned her gaze back to the girl who had noticed them all and was making her way towards them.

"You should get a radio, Max," Lucas suggested from beside Dustin.

"I should," she mumbled with a shuffle, wishing she already had one. At least then she would have had enough time to prepare herself to spend a day within the other girls vicinity without acting like a complete wastoid. 

She was still busy gazing at the object of her affections as said girl bounded over to Mike, first of all, and hugged him and then Will who stood beside Mike and then Lucas followed by Dustin.

Her eyes widened when Jane's arms, out of habit, almost went around her too before the girl paused and jerked back.

She scratched the back of her head, glancing down at her shoes before looking back up and offering the girl a polite smile that she couldn't keep up for longer than a few seconds.

Eleven eyes met hers for the smallest of seconds, barely before the brunette looked away and went to stand besides Mike and Will.

Nothing new, but it would never get old.

"Come on, Dig Dug's free!" Dustin suddenly announced before sprinting towards the machine.

"She'll come around." Lucas draped an arm over her shoulder, giving it a rub as they all walked to the machines.

She cleared her throat with a nod. "Yeah."

But neither of them knew when.

...

She didn't know Eleven hadn't been to the Arcade before, mostly because she tended to keep her distance. The amount of time she had spent around the other could be counted off on on hand and yet, the way the other girl looked around nervously every two minutes gave it away.

She stepped away from the machine as Mike took his turn at Pacman, looking around for the others.
Dustin and Lucas were easy to spot, boisterously playing Dragon's Lair's. With the way the two were bickering back and forth, she could tell they trying to beat each other's scores.

She smirked at that. Lucas had lost his score a while after she had moved to Hawkins and things had calmed down and Princess Daphne was hers, she was going to make sure it stayed that way. She tore her eyes away from the two boy and instead searched for the only other girl in the party, noticing her standing by Dig Dug, staring at the blank screen with a quarter in her hand.

She knew she shouldn't, but as she looked at Jane again who still stood biting her lip and frowning at the black screen of the machine as she tucked in a short strand of curly hair behind her ear, how could she not?

"Uh, here." She mumbled, coming to stand beside girl before she put in a quarter.

The game beeped to life as the screen lit up and Jane's eyes widened considerably, rapidly scanning all the bright colours.

She paused, not being able to look away from the brunette. Her face was bathed in colours emitting from the screen, a mix of green blue and red hues making her stand apart. She didn't know if Jane knew just how beautiful she was and her heart thrummed with the desire to tell the other girl that. She couldn't help, but swoon over the innocence dripping from Jane's eyes, wide and so full of fascination, all over nothing, but a mere videogame.

If only Jane would stop hating her.. The thought sobered her out of the stupor she'd fallen in, making her clear her throat to gain the brunettes attention.

The girl glanced at her at the sound with her eyebrows scrunched up. She would've found that so dainty had the girl's eyes not felt like laser beams on her skin, burning. With a clearing of throat, she pointed to the controls before voicing the words. "Do you know the controls?"

Jane glanced at her, but didn't answer and so she continued, anyway.

"Okay, well. This is the joystick. You uh move your... character with it. And this button–" she started, but he brunette was already pushing her away as she took ahold of the stick, pressing the red colored button beside the machine to start the game.

"Right." She murmured, backing away to give the girl some space and doing her best to ignore the discomfort building up in her stomach. 

What in the world had she done to this girl?

She clenched her jaw, stopping that thought before it could grow roots into her mind, before she could zone out uselessly again, thinking over something that didn't matter; she had already wasted entirely too much time pondering over the wonder that the other girl was.

For a beginner, Jane wasn't a bad player at all, definitely better than her when she had first started playing. The girl was pretty good at avoiding the traps and the small monsters and she felt a nervous excitement rush through her when she saw two monsters in the maze gaining in on Jane's character. That was exactly what she loved about video games and skateboarding, the rush, it was amazing.
She looked on, on the edge of her toes when the girl's hands paused on the controllers and her shoulders visibly sagged. Her eyes flitted up to gauge Jane's reaction, only to see the girl worrying her lip between her teeth. The sight made her feel weirder than she usually did around the girl and she tore her gaze away, glancing at the screen instead.

"Press the button, quick!" She yelled without thinking when she saw just how close the character was to getting captured.

Jane suddenly jumped at the sound of her voice and looked at her with her lips pursed and a frown. The character got eaten by the monster in the meantime and she saw the other girl's jaw clench at the realisation.

Shit.

Her hands fiddled on their own before she cleared her throat, rubbing at her neck and then stopping all together. "T-the button's for jumping. I was just trying to help."
Her words did not do anything to make the situation better or smoothen Jane's frown. And to make it worse, she was explaining shit when she wasn't asked to. That was not her at all.

Sometimes, she felt like if she saw herself through someone else's eyes like this, she wouldn't recognise herself. And that was another thought she didn't want to mull over.

The other girl turned to her the whole way and gave her the glare she knew so well.

Strike two.

"I swear." She added and she would've slapped herself right then and there had it not made her look completely mental.

The other girl's glare didn't soften, instead her lips parted and then the girl spoke. "Stay away."

She opened her mouth, to say something, something that never made it past her lips because the brunette was speaking to her for the first time in.. oh god was it really the first time in almost a whole year?

"You don't under–" She started, stopping short when the other girl bumped into her shoulder and walked off towards the boys, unaware of what had just transpired.

"... stand." She sighed out, rubbing at her eyes and slouching against the machine.
Something told her she had only managed to make matters worse.

She scratched her the back of her neck before putting in a quarter, cracking her knuckles and spending the rest of her quarters on the game; taking her frustration out on the poor machine.

...

She was standing beside Dig Dug, fiddling with the zipper of her hoodie. She had run out of quarters a few minutes ago, but the others were still busy playing. Mike was standing with Jane at Dragon's Lair. She could faintly hear him explaining her the controls as the brunette in turn, nodded fervently. The sight made her stomach churn with jealousy. 

Had she not been doing the same? 

She saw Jane grin after Mike murmured something in her ear, they both looked as though they were in a world of their own, making her tear her eyes away from the sight despite how pretty Jane looked when she smiled. The more she would look, the worse she would feel. 

Instead, she tried to distract herself and looked around for the others. Dustin was now engrossed in Pacman (no surprise) with an ear splitting grin on his face as Lucas looked on sourly. She had a feeling the darker skinned boy had lost his high score and shook her head with a small smile. Her eyebrows furrowed when she didn't find Will anywhere near the machines.

"89, 980 points?!" His voice exclaimed from behind her.

"What?" She turned around, relived to see he hadn't gone off somewhere like.. before.

"Your score! I thought you'd been joking!" His face looked quite flabbergasted.

Her eyes widened when she caught on what he was referring to and whirled back to look at the machine.

Wow.

"Oh." She breathed out before turning to him with a lazy side smile playing on her lips. "I keep my word, I guess."

"You sound so enthusiastic, Max." His voice dripped with sarcasm.

She chuckled at that. She was wearing off on the sweet boy.

"I know, right?" She drawled before her smile dissolved into a straight line.

Will paused for a second and she felt his eyes scan her face before all signs of playfulness evaporated from his features.

She looked away, hoping he wouldn't ask the question he hadn't voiced yet. 

"Is it Billy? Did he... do something again?" His sounded like he was walking on eggshells and she wondered if that was right.

She shook her head in answer and sighed when her eyes automatically flitted towards Mike and El with his gaze followed hers.

"I know how you feel." He leaned on the machine beside her.

"No, you don't. It's different. It's just.. different." She muttered with a clenched jaw before closing her eyes and sucking in a breath, trying to stop the warmth rushing to her face and erase the numbness in her stomach.

She knew he was just trying to help and she should be grateful for that. He was looking out for her, but if there was one thing she had in common with Billy, it was a burning flare setting off within her when someone showed even the small bit of pity. And so, she knew she was being a jerk, just like her stupid stepbrother.

"I– sorry, let's just.. go, yeah?" She put her foot on the back of her board, lifting the other side and picking it up.

Will didn't budge from beside her, though. His eyes were still looking on in Mike and Jane's general direction.

"After everything that.. happened, I hated talking about it, but when I opened up to Mom, it.. helped. I never thought it would, but it did. It helps Max." He murmured the last part softly.

She looked down at her dirty vans, pondering over his words. It wasn't that she 'hated' talking about it (hate was a strong word). She just didn't know how to. She wasn't used to talking about stuff. She had grown up in a house where she couldn't complain when something bothered her, no. That was out of the question. She was supposed to suck it up, bury it somewhere deep within herself and learn to live with it or in her stepbrother's case, take it out on other people.

She was the way she was because she didn't know how to be something- someone else.

"It's whatever, Will." She sighed out before walking away towards the other, maybe she could snag a coin or two from Lucas.

How would she ever put something as complicated as feelings into words, anyway?

Chapter Text

She stood outside the school in the deserted parking lot. The drive to school was a good fifteen minutes journey and yet she had miscalculated how much time it would actually take if she skated there. She reckoned there wasn't much Billy was good for except driving her to school and distinctly remembered him leaving for some stupid highschool party the previous night when he was supposed to be 'babysitting' her and he hadn't returned.

He could be lying dead in Mirkwood for all she cared.

And now there she was, a whole hour earlier to school out of all places, scanning the parking lot every 60 seconds for any sign of the boys.

She felt like cursing herself out for being a complete knucklehead, but then mathematics wasn't really something she was good at and being outside in the parking lot alone gave her such a strong sense of déjà vu, as if she was her eight year old self again waiting for her alcoholic dad to pick her up while every other kid was long gone along with the staff.

She glanced at her watch with a sigh, not mulling over those miserable thoughts as she reluctantly sat down on her skateboard atop the school steps. If her legs didn't hurt so much from all the skating she had just done, she would have given whatnot for an opportunity like that with not many people around and the ground void of any gravel.

With restlessness, she slid her skateboard to and fro atop the step, hoping the time could go by faster, but clocks never ticked even a millisecond earlier or later no matter how much she had yearned for it to before and it was a deathly boring half hour later when the parking lot started filling up more, most of the kids milling around the outskirts and a few minutes later, she finally saw three familiar bikes making their way towards the bicycle racks.

She stood up then and waved the boys over as they hopped off of their bikes.

"Look who's here early! You, out of all people." Dustin mused.

She rolled her eyes at him, opening her mouth before closing it back again as a familiar car stopped a few feet away and honked.

Will got out of the car, waving his mother goodbye before walking towards them.

"Hey, guys." He greeted with a pleasant smile.

She returned it as they all murmured intangible hi and hellos in return.

"You're here before me." Will noted when he came to stand beside her.

She rolled her eyes once more as Dustin chuckled from beside the boy.

"She was here before any of us, actually–" Lucas grinned before adding– "hint, hint." 

Dustin apparently found the boy's words exceptionally amusing as he let out a boisterous guffaw that only managed to put her off.
Will gave her an almost smirk then before shaking his head mischievously as if he knew something that she didn't.

She furrowed her brows, not understanding what that look meant, only to notice that Dustin and Lucas looked quite the same.

"Okay?" She let out, the confusion dripping from her voice. "If you're all done not making sense, can we haul ass now?" She asked, but none of the boys budged.

"Uh, guys?" She called out.

"Come on, Max. You came an hour earlier. Might as well wait a few more minutes, don't you think?" Mike mumbled before turning away as he scanned the parking lot.

"Wait for what, exactly?"

Will gave her another look similar to the one he had before and it confused her even more, if that was possible.

What was going on?

She almost went to ask, but stopped short at Dustin's excited yell. "There she is!"

She followed his gaze and her eyes widened as they fell upon a familiar police cruiser turning around the corner of the lot before it parked in a spot near the entrance.

She knew who owned it.

"No way." She mumbled, baffled.

Did that mean..?

"Yes way." Will retorted from beside her. She noticed the sudden giddiness his voice.

"Why the hell do I not know about this?" She should know. She should've known. This wasn't something that happened everyday.

"Wait, you mean you don't?" Will frowned as he glanced at her

"No?" She said unsurely.

"I thought Dustin told you." Lucas piped in and she noticed Eleven getting out of the cruiser as Hopper followed out of the corner of her eyes.

"I thought you were going to tell her Lucas!" Dustin retorted.

She threw her head back with annoyance as an audible sigh left her lips.

Now, that was routine.

"Guys! Stop bickering, we have to make her feel okay about this, remember?" Mike cut in, silencing the two boys.

As El made her way towards them Will broke the silence, whispering, "Get a dammed radio, Max."

She pursed her lips, not giving him an answer, even though she agreed greatly as she stepped away. El had a beaming smile etched to her lips as she walked towards all five of them with a bounce in her step. Her soft brown curls bobbed at her movement and even though, they both didn't know each other at all, she could sense the pale girl's nervous excitement.

The brunette stopped in front of Mike and the others before hugging the four boys, one by one with them returning it; just like every other time. 
She stuffed her hands into the pockets of her track jacket as she shuffled on her feet awkwardly. Jane ignoring her bothered her more than she let on, especially at times like this when she acknowledged everyone, everyone except her. And more than that, she hated not wanting to, but feeling so  left out, like an outsider looking in, knowing she was missing out on something. The girl's smiles were warm enough to make her stomach jostle, she couldn't imagine what a hug would feel like. She glanced towards her group of friends in between her brooding and coincidentally, so did Jane. Their eyes met, albeit a little awkwardly, but she couldn't muster up another wobbling smile in the girl's direction because the one that had been on Jane's lips a moment ago, disappeared at the sight of her. The brunette's eyes hardened and she looked away before Max could and it felt as though she had just lost a battle she didn't know she was fighting. And with another heavy sigh, she picked up her bag as Hopper came to stand before them before following the boys into the school.

She lagged behind the four a little uneasily as they all stopped before the reception. She could see Jane and Hopper through the glass door. The girl was standing beside Hopper as he did all the talking with her hands clasped together, looking every bit of graceful.

She hoped Jane joining the school would finally result in a friendship between then. There wasn't much more she hoped for and by the way things were as they were, even friendship was stretching it really far. She just hoped there was just something they could bond over, an assignment or lab or literature.

Or a miracle.

She tried to put herself in El's shoes. If she was a girl who'd grown up as a lab rat with no one there for her, why would she hate another girl of her age who wanted to be her friend? It couldn't be looks or her a nature. El was.. She was strong willed despite all those years of being locked away and protective of those that she loved with a family bounded not by blood, but love and just so.. beautiful and then there was her with red hair she didn't know how to braid, a broken home with just as bad of an attitude and the only girl in all of Hawkins with a skateboard.

Nothing about Jane was normal, but that only made her so much more special. The kind Brenner wouldn't ever understand the meaning of.

And they had that in common, the lack of normality, but hers didn't make her special, no.

She was different. She had known it the day her ten year old self had walked the first time in the girl's changing room, the first time she'd walked home from school at 8, alone; the first time her drunk step father had shouted at her and her mom had stayed quiet and the first time Billy had shouted at her loud enough to make ever single fibre in her jump.

She couldn't put herself in Jane's shoes.

A nudge drowned out her thoughts as she came back to her surroundings to see Lucas staring at her with raised eyebrows and she realised she'd just walked into him.

She chuckled dryly and shook her head as she stepped back to put some distance in between them. His eyes lingered on her before he looked away at the sound of Mike's voice.

"That's the AV room, you remember that El?" Mike questioned, pointing towards the door as they passed it.

Eleven frowned before apparent realisation dawned over her face. "Where I b-burnt the--"

"Oh, yeah! That was so awesome!" Dustin cut in, yelling excitedly the way he always did.

El jumped at the sudden boisterous interruption and Lucas hit Dustin on the head, mouthing, "Idiot."

"Wait, do I know about this?" Will asked, a quizzical look on his face  and she zoned out as the other three boys jumped without wasting another second into retelling what had happened.

She had heard the story enough times to know what the trio was going to say next.

As Will listened on with keen interest, she took advantage of the momentary distraction and her eyes, as though having a mind of their own, automatically fell on Jane. She knew staring was rude, but she was willing to be a little bit of that if she could keep staring at the brunette.
She didn't want to look away as she admired the hint of a smile that played over Jane's lips. And even the hint of one looked so pretty. The brunette had shown up wearing a rose gold frock with her short curls let loose.
She wasn't the one to care much about apparel, but Jane didn't need to. The girl was effortlessly pretty and she wished she could tell Jane that, she wished she could tell Jane a lot of things. Make her smile and laugh. The one where her eyes always crinkled and she looked just so uncaring and free. An epitome of wonder and youth. An incarnation of innocence and purity. Lord, she loved this girl. She sighed as she shook her head.

And to think Steve was whipped.

The brunette glanced at her then and she looked away before their eyes could meet.

Close call.

They reached the lockers soon enough and her train of thought came to a stop as she patiently waited beside Will and Lucas as Mike and Dustin showed El the mechanisms of opening and closing one.

"Oh! I almost forgot! El, can I see your schedule?" Mike asked as the curly haired girl shut her locker.

Her ears stood up at that and she moved closer towards the boys, putting her arm around the two boys' shoulders as Eleven opened up her bag.

She had been wanting to know which classes they all shared with the new comer and looked on closely as Mike took it from her, his eyes skimming through it before he grinned appreciatively.

"That's one great schedule." He commented.

She didn't know schedules could be great too. "Nerd." She whispered to herself.

"She shares every class with at least one of us there." He explained when he looked up and saw their questioning eyes.

Max debated mentally whether Hopper had pulled in some strings to make that happen before deciding there was no harm if he had.

"Right, so." Mike continued. "You have art with Will. Math with--. Dustin you've got Math in second hour?"

Max smirked as Lucas muttered under his breath. "That's going to be very helpful."

She saw Dustin nod with an ever present grin. "It's gonna be awesome El."

"History with me and Will." Mike continued, his voice taking on an exciting lilt.

"Geography with Lucas and--." He paused, glancing down at the paper once more. "Oh yeah, science with all of us. That's Mr. Clarke. You remember him?"

She pursed her lips at the realisation that she didn't share any classes with the brunette, not with only the two of them there. Was it better if it was that way? She saw Jane frown lightly and stopped pondering as the girl leaned over and whispered something in Mike's ear, making the taller boy chuckle as he nodded.

Nerds.

"She calls him the moustache man." He told them, still smiling. 

She looked away before she could gag at two, before her stomach could churn in the unusual way it did every time they were both together, before she could lose herself to thoughts of a love that wouldn't ever be returned.

Instead, she glanced at Will who, unlike her, was staring at Mike almost.. longingly. She elbowed him in the side to snap him out of it as he jumped with a hiss and turned to her, frowning.

At least, she wasn't alone in her misery. But then, this wasn't something she wished upon anyone. Except maybe Billy.

"Wait, there's English too." Mike frowned. "Uh... who has English today?"

She almost rolled her eyes, even though her heart stuttered in her chest with something akin to hope.

Literature. There was her chance. 

She cleared her throat and felt Jane's eyes on her as she spoke. "That would be me."

"All right. English with Max." Mike finished as he gave El a comforting smile. She heard his quiet "It'll be okay." And scoffed discreetly, trying not to let her annoyance show.

"Guys, we only have 15 minutes before the halls start to crowd up." Lucas informed then and Max wondered if they had planned something else that she wasn't aware of.

She was somehow used to being kept in the dark by now.

"Time to show you around, El," Dustin grinned excitedly before they all got to moving.

Of course.

..

She entered the almost empty classroom, adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder. It was odd being one of the first people to class. She wasn't used to being to one so early, but she pushed her discomfort away. She had once been the new girl too. She had to help, even if the two of them weren't friends. She had noticed how El had opted to sit in the middle row in Science, unlike her or the boys, and the middle row wasn't that bad.

Not too upfront and not to far off. She could see why the girl preferred it that way.

Maneuvering around a few girls chattering beside the front desks, she flopped into one in the middle row as dumped her bag onto the seat next to her.

Eleven didn't like her a lot, but she would surely prefer to sit next to her than with a complete stranger and she'd saved the girl a pretty good spot. Maybe she could even, by some miracle, strike up a conversation with the other girl.

She shook her head at that thought.
Baby steps, immensely slow ones.

Her leg bounced up and down as she waited for the girl's arrival, profusely ignored how unlike her usual self she felt. Truth be told, she was slightly nervous to be around Jane without one of the boys around, but then when was she not nervous around El?

The said girl showed up a few minutes later and she saw Mike walking away through the open door as the brunette entered the classroom. She tried to meet the girl's eyes as El's roamed throughout the room before the brunette spotted her and eyed the seat beside her. She couldn't read the look on El's face and so picked her bag up in return, hoping the girl would get the message.

She didn't.

Instead, Eleven ignored her as she went back to looking around the room, making her frown when the girl went on to sit with a blonde somewhere near the front.

"Hey, you're the Chief's daughter, right? I'm Jennifer. You can call me Jen."

Jennifer Hayes, she realised. Jennifer Hayes over her and even though there was nothing between her and El, absolutely no trust or friendship or anything, she somehow felt betrayed. A flush of angered shame prickled at her chest and with a clenched jaw, she forced herself to look away as she heard the curly haired girl reply.

"Jane."

And yet, she saw the two shake hands out of the corner of her eyes and her face suddenly grew so hot as she clenched her fists without even realising.

Everyone, but her.

With downcast eyes, she let her long waves hide her reddened face as she picked her bag back up and put it in the seat beside hers once more.

Maybe it was better if she just sat alone.

Chapter Text

"So."

"So, what?" She finished chewing, taking the time to swallow before asking.

"I didn't get the time to ask yesterday." Will started. "But, how was English?" She saw his suggestive grin before his lips even stretched into one.

His words reminded her of yesterday. Of another failed attempt at friendship. She didn't know why she even tried anymore and a pang of the same feeling as before ran through her, making her scoff without realising.

"What?" Will's brows rose up almost immediately at the sound. She didn't know why he had expected anything different to happen.

"She ignored me, but I don't see how that's news." She muttered, feeling annoyance start to brew within her once more. The thought of El tended to– no, the thought of El not wanting to do anything with her tended to. The thought of the girl herself brought a whole different kind of feelings she didn't think she was ready to feel for anyone, but she couldn't help it.
She couldn't help it if she wanted to make El smile warmly the way she always did at the boys. She wanted to do that. She wanted to be a someone  to El.

"And?" He pried, his voice urging her on.

"And she sat with Jennifer Hayes."

"What?!" Will's frown deepened even more.

It was odd how she felt slightly mad at El. The girl didn't care and wouldn't notice and that was more frustrating. She didn't even get to be mad because her being mad didn't matter to the other girl.

And so what if Jane had sat with Jennifer, she could sit with anyone and anywhere she wanted to.

Why did she care so much? She knew why, but when would she stop caring?

"How was History with Wheeler?" She asked instead, changing the topic and ignoring the baffled look he was still wearing.

His face immediately reddened upon her question and she raised her eyebrows curiously when he looked away, directing his attention to his food instead.

There was something there.

"Well, at least one of us is getting somewhere." She muttered teasingly, hiding her amused smile.

"Max.." The boy started with cautiousness in his voice.

"Did you two kiss or what?" She continued as she glanced at the tip of his ears.

Undeniably pink.

"Max, he's two feet away from us!" He whispered urgently, a plea in his eyes.

"And you're not ogling him. That's surprising." She retorted through a chuckle, turning to look where the taller boy was.

Her gaze flitted past the lunch tables behind her, falling upon an unmistakable tuft of curly brown hair. Jane was standing in the lunch till with Mike right behind her. She frowned wondering why her eyes always found El without her even trying to. She could spot the girl amongst a hundred people and that was creepy enough.
Slight commotion made her redirect her attention and she noticed Dustin and Lucas standing a little towards the left. With the way the curly haired boy was talking furiously, she could tell he was arguing, most likely about the chocolate pudding. She shook her head exasperatedly at that.

Some things would never change. 

A clearing of throat made her turn back in her seat and she noticed Will looking at her, glancing where she'd been staring only a moment ago.

"So, what happened?" She asked, her eyebrows lifting upwards nonchalantly.

He cleared his throat in the midst of chewing as his cheeks turned pink again, making her raise her eyebrows further upwards.

"I tripped on air and he uh.. he caught me." He didn't hide his bashful grin then, despite how red his cheeks were.

It was heartwarming and she tried not to let the emotion show on her face, but this boy deserved all of the goodness in the world. Even if that goodness was Wheeler.

She smirked at him instead and waited in silence, faking a look of innocence as she looked at him expectantly, but he said nothing more.

"And then you two kissed or..?" She gestured with her arms, trying not to smile as she teased him.

His mouth opened up, most likely to protest when the sound of Lucas' voice interrupted the two of them as said boy flopped into the seat across from her and put his tray on the table with a slam making Will jump slightly. "Who kissed who?"

She paused, trying to gather up an excuse when something hit her leg. She chanced a glance beside her at Will, trying not to burst into a laugh at the sight. Will's normally soft eyes weren't as soft and the look of sheer 'now what' was too much for her.

She held in her chuckle despite being greatly amused as she poked the boy back with the toe of her shoe and then looked at Lucas.

"Uh, just this stupid opera airing last night." She lied before her face scrunched up in displeasure.

Soap operas were the worst.

Lucas looked at her as though she had grown another head before shaking his head and busying himself with his food.

She saw the opportunity and leaned towards Will discreetly. "Even Jane can glare better than you." She whispered, amusement dripping from her voice.

He gave her the same look as before and she couldn't hold in her chuckle this time. 

"Not even close." She murmured as she shook her head and bit into her sandwich.

..

Her Science book thudded lightly against the desk as she tossed it inside her bag and zipped it up quickly, looking up just in time to catch Mike's eyes. The boy in turn, tapped at his wrist watch before nodding towards El a little hesitantly and mouthing 'gym'.

She frowned at his actions. He knew they didn't get along. He knew better than to leave the two of them alone. Her eyes met Will's the next second whose lips broke into a smile almost instantly as he gave her a thumbs up before dragging Mike and the others away. She stood staring at their departing figures a little surprisingly before putting two and two together.

He was such an ass.

A huff escaped her as she shook her head and walked towards where El stood, still in the midst of putting her book and notes away and she saw a glimpse of the inside of the girl's bag before El zipped it up. The books were in all in a neat pile atop one another and she glanced at her own bag a little shamefully, thinking of the mess it had inside it from paper balls to stationary she hadn't bothered to put away.

Eleven didn't notice her presence, as per usual, and started to walk away. Her hand rose up out of instinct to stop her before she paused. She didn't know if that would be a good idea. Apprehension crept over her as she remembered the times Eleven had ignored her existence and she shuffled uncomfortably, not knowing how to get the other girl's attention as she remembered the events of yesterday, but El was almost halfway past the door and she shrugged her discomfort away as she called out the girl's name before she could stop to think anything more.

"El!"

The brunette paused, before turning around towards her, a heavy from etched to her forehead.

At least she wasn't glaring.

She walked closer to the girl as she adjusted the strap of her book sack.
"We have gym together." She offered before almost face palming. 

Eleven stared back at her, unmoving and the lack of response made her scratch her neck uneasily. She saw the brunette's eyes follow her movement and paused, dropping her arm to her side.

Will really was such an ass.

"I mean, do you uh remember where the gym is?" She rephrased, hoping the girl would respond in some way before the situation became more awkward.

The brunette crinkled her nose at that, her eyes scanning her face.

Cute.

No.

She tried to ignore the girl's eyes on her. She was so used to being ignored and the feeling of El's eyes on her was unusual, unfamiliar, but most of all, overwhelming. She couldn't find it in herself to match her gaze and look the girl in the eye and so she glanced down at her shoes instead, ignoring the urge to shuffle or fiddle. That wasn't her. She had never before felt doubtful of her actions or afraid of doing the wrong thing.

The silence became unbearable and she chanced a glance upwards to see Eleven's gaze still on her. It felt as though a spot light was being shined on her, she was so out of her element and she just didn't know what to do.

"It's Jane." The brunette muttered. She frowned, catching the girl's glare before she turned back away and exited the classroom.

She heard the unsaid 'for you' and groaned miserably, ignoring the odd side look of a passerby as she drawled past the door. There wasn't much else she could do besides following. Their coach was a strict woman who loathed tardiness and if El got lost on the way, Max knew she wouldn't get to spend her first day of gym, her only day of relief on the bench.

A part of her almost wanted to stop so El would get lost and and regret denying her help. Almost, but she couldn't do that. She didn't know how to hate El the way she hated her. She didn't know how to unlove and the thought ignited a fire in her belly that she couldn't put out.

She kept a foot's distance between herself and Jane as she silently followed the girl like shadow in the halfway empty hallway. So far, El hadn't turned the wrong way, not even once. It was quite impressive how she had managed to remember where all her classes were in such little time. She turned the corner, but groaned audibly once more when she saw someone who was as much of an asshole as Billy.

"I feel like I've seen you somewhere." The shabby haired boy came to stand in El's way, the curiousness on his face easier to spot than the sun in the day.

She frowned wondering what he meant and chanced a glance towards El, seeing the change in her demeanor almost immediately. The girl was standing a little too stiffly than Max had ever seen before with something akin to steel in her eyes. Her back had straightened up like a rod and it wasn't out of fear or animosity as per usual that the girl always directed towards her, but something else.. a different kind of discomfort.

"But then, I don't think I would forget a face like that." Troy continued, stepping a tad bit closer in El's personal space.

What he said wasn't wrong. El had the kind of face one would notice in a room full of people, but his words still made her jaw clench as she fisted her hands and ignored the urge to bash his dumb head in a wall.

She saw El's hands fist at her side darted between the two before things could get worse. It wouldn't end if El ended up using her powers or her bare hands in her first week of school.
No, Hopper would lose his shit.

"Go eat shit, Troy." She seethed, putting a hand over his chest and pushing him out of her and El's personal space as she ignored how warm her back felt. This was the closest she'd ever been to the other girl and the feeling was a tad bit overwhelming.

"No, man. You're hanging out with fire crotch out of all people?" He leaned a little bit to the left, staring at El incredulously as he ignored her.

She felt her face warm up the way anger always made it as her nostrils flared and she grounded her teeth harshly. "I'm not going to be as nice the next time I ask, you moron."

"Back. Off." She pushed him backwards once more for effect.

His face lost all signs of playfulness at that and she knew the look that crossed his eyes then. It was the same one Billy always had in his. She stared back challengingly daring him to try something with her glare matching his when the sound of a door opening interrupted them and out came Miss Trunchbull, whistling loud enough to make her ear's bleed.

"Make some haste!" The woman shouted and Troy glanced behind, stepping back a little at the sight of a teacher. "You watch your back Mayfield." His voice was laced with bitterness that had stopped bothering her a long time ago and she scoffed as she flipped him off before stepping back and motioning for El to get moving. The girl paused staring at her with a frown and she looked back, not particularly in the her eyes. She didn't know if she had the strength to look in the girl's eyes and then tear her gaze away because those eyes seemed like an ocean she would love to drown in..  

For a moment, El's soft pink lips parted, the ones she was pointedly ignoring looking at, and it almost seemed like the girl was going to say something, but another loud whistle sounded off and just like that, the moment was broken.

A heavy frown lined her forehead and she cursed the universe out mentally.
Eleven glanced at the doors, a strong emotion crossing her face that she couldn't put a name on before the girl gave her another familiar glare and left her behind once more.

She didn't know what she had done this time and sighed dejectedly before following, her vans scraping the floor.
She could care less.

She spent gym doing tracks as El got to sit back and take it all in before she started next week.

And she tried so hard to not let her eyes drift towards the other girl every other minute, but spent almost the whole unit, trying and failing to do that. It bothered her to no end how she was always painfully aware of the girl's presence while being ignored like a speck of dust.

She hadn't ever even wanted to feel the way she did towards El. Yes, the girl was cool and they had the potential to be great friends, but El didn't want that and she wanted something more.

And she had tried to hate the girl back with just as much intensity,  Eleven with her stupidly cool clothes, stupid dashing entrance and inhuman, yet stupidly amazing superpowers. At first, she had thought it was some sort of weird hero worship that would go away, but hero worship didn't include wanting to hold one girl's hand in particular and show her all this softness that she never knew she could muster– no, that was something else. And she should've worried about it the first time her stomach had fluttered at the sight of El and felt like lead weighing her down when she was ignored, she should've worried then because the butterflies in her stomach and the jittering in her veins had only escalated into something worse and now she couldn't stop every time her heart skipped a beat at the girl's smile or her day became better by her mere presence. She couldn't ignore this want inside her to make El laugh and hold hands with her and just.. love her.

She should've done something then because now even if they ever became friends, she knew she would always be wanting more. And how was she supposed to go on carrying all this love inside her that she wasn't ever going to get back in return?

It was just so damned unfair. 

Chapter Text

Her self decency had died and left her, entirely.

That was one fact she came to actualise as she picked up another book on cognitive dissonance and added it to the growing pile of books that her right arm was starting to struggle balancing.

It sure did bruise her pride, the fact that she was in a library bright and early on a Sunday morning, rifling through bookshelves for her problems like some nerdy loser, but she blamed it off on Dustin.

It had to be him and his way of turning to a book for any and every problem which must have rubbed off on her at some point because if there was one thing she was not, it was desperate.

And yet, one more book going on top of the already six in her arms contradicted that statement quite a lot.

She huffed with annoyance when her hand rose up to reach one more book –the last one– she promised herself, spelling off 'The Benjamin Franklin Effect' and just as she slid it out of the shelf, her eyes met dark orbs that suddenly (or had been there all along) appeared from behind the space the book no longer occupied, dark orbs that she knew all too familiarly and had seen flashing behind her eyelids almost every night when she lay in bed with her eyes closed in a futile attempt to sleep.

She reckoned it was the momentary shock that made her arms go slack or maybe she had just been holding the dammed books up for too long because it definitely wasn't her looking in Jane's eyes and the girl looking back in hers.

She lost that train of thought with a dry throat.

The girl's curls were slightly ruffled, hanging low and shining just a tab bit in the glint of the sun showing through from the window behind the brunette's back. She noticed how the sun gave Jane's hair an almost auburn tint and out of nowhere, she got this sudden urge to see what the other girl would look like under the sun with the rays glinting off in her eyes, maybe she would find out what colour they exactly were then.

Jane would look beautiful, undoubtedly, because that was what Jane was, but she wondered which kind, the slicked-back-hair-and-kohl-laden-stormy-eyes beautiful or the rose-gold-frock-and-one-hand-laced-over-the-other-gracefully beautiful or the dark-powerful-eyes-glaring-daggers-at-her-and-holding-her-rooted-in-her-spot beautiful.

That list could've gone on for a long while– because gazing at Jane when no one was looking was her favourite past time– had the particularly heavy book she had just dropped not fallen right on her little toe and felt like a knife going through.

She winced, immediately tearing her eyes away from the brunette and glancing down at the floor, seeing books stacked messily upon one another which only made blood rush to her face.

So many frigging books.

What was she going to do with so many books?

Read would have been a plausible answer had she been thinking straight, but oh, she had stopped doing that ever since laying her eyes on brown hair with equally dark eyes and the exact colour still a mystery.

The sound of shoes scraping against floor pulled her out of her thoughts as she blinked hard, clearing her head. Her face grew warmer when she glanced up at Jane to see the brunette frowning at her through the space and realising she had pretty much been gawking at the other girl.

She was an absolute imbecilic fool and had her mind not just been a victim to Jane's overwhelming presence, she would have noticed how both of those things meant the exact same.

With her face matching the colour of her hair, she hastily leaned down and picked one book after another, aware of how everything felt a little too warm than it had a moment ago and that her veins were thrumming with something other than the blood pumping through them.

It was scary how Jane could render her useless with a simple glance and without even using her powerful mind and with that thought running through her head, she stood up a moment later, balancing a rather heavy pile of books in her hands that seemed useless then as she walked through the aisle, ignoring Jane's burning presence and the urge to glance at the girl through the shelf once more.

She realised another thing a few minutes later when she was sat on one of the round tables in the library with her head in her hands as she failed, yet another time, to understand what the gibberish in the book that lay open in front of her meant. 

Jane Hopper was the most biggest frigging distraction.

Or maybe, it was just that she was a fool, young and in love with raging teenage hormones and painfully aware of one girl's presence in particular.

It was like something in her couldn't sit still when 'it' knew that Jane was just around the corner, behind one of the shelves and maybe if she leaned back just a little, she would get a glimpse of her.

She jumped to make herself look like she hadn't just been having a meltdown with embarrassment still overcrowding most of her mind when Jane suddenly emerged from behind one of aisles and passed her by with a book in her hand. Her eyes lingered over the girl's figure, watching her walk to the librarians desk and a moment later, through the library's doors.

With a frustrated groan, she thumped her head into the table, getting an immediate shush from the librarian as she proceeded to roll her eyes.

She was screwed, but that, that was not a realisation, no –that, she already knew.

•

"Hopper's being unreasonably protective," Mike groaned as he backed away from the table, letting go of the speaker he had just been inspecting.

She rolled her eyes at his antics.

They were supposed to put together a presentation for the seniors that only had six more months of school left and yet, there he was thinking of stupid campaign nights.

Ignoring the sour look on his face, she glanced down at her notebook to read over her notes.

She was absolutely ecstatic about that aspect because Neil was definitely going to force Billy into college and her life would become more peaceful, even though that also meant Steve going away too.

She didn't know him that well, aside from the time they had spent at the junkyard and their nights at the ice cream parlour near Steve's neighborhood, definitely not as well as Dustin, who hung out with the boy at least once a week, but it would be odd because she was just so used to hearing Dustin blabber about another cool thing he had done with Steve over the weekend.

She shook her head at that thought, one guy that she deemed was not so bad and the other that she couldn't wait to get rid of.

"What happened?" An involuntary smile slipped past her when Will voiced that question (because he was Will).

"He says we can't hang out with El at the cab–" Mike glanced at her in the midst of his sentence before twisting his mouth around the word– ".. at hers because someone might notice."

She frowned at his odd behaviour, before shaking her head and resuming jotting down a small paragraph from the book in front of her when Will's voice broke her focus away from the task once again.

"Oh, well, we could always hang out at mine? I mean a-all of us," The shorter boy mumbled, shuffling as he stuttered out the words.

She saw how Mike practically brightened at what Will had just said as he turned to the shorter boy and gushed, "If you ask your mom to convince Hopper... then, we could do a campaign night at yours!"

The taller was practically grinning from ear to ear by the end of his sentence as Will smiled back just as wide at Mike with an eager nod.

She couldn't help, but mull over how daunting his enthusiasm was; all for a game that she couldn't understand why the boys even liked when video games existed.

The sound of the door opening made her glance up, towards the front, to see Dustin and Jane coming through.

The boy had a sour look on his face while Jane, she noticed, looked greatly amused with the ghost of a smile on her face.

She rolled her eyes when Mike immediately trotted over towards the girl, smiling at her before murmuring how he had devised a plan for them to hang out.

She thought his crinkled eyes were gag worthy, even though Will looked so lost in them and so, she just sighed and turned back to the task at hand, at last mapping out a rough draft of how they could put together the presentation.

It seemed quite pointless to her and yet, she couldn't complain because three hours of AV club a week was a thousand times better than being babysat by Billy, who only managed to give her headaches with his terrible taste in music and the amount of cigarettes that he smoked in that time.

She jumped when Dustin flopped beside her, making her smudge the 'e' she had been drawing out andbshe huffed as she shot him a glare.

He looked down at the paper before grimacing and pinching both of his ear lobes in apology. And with another shake of head, she looked back down at the paper and scratched the word off.

"I talked to Mr. Clarke and he said if we need more stuff around, we'll need to do the fundraising ourselves."

She paused and she glanced up at the curly haired boy, "Does he expect us to do a yard sale or something?"

He only shrugged in response before the bell rang, making her sigh as she closed the book that lay in her lap and slid out of her chair, stuffing her stationary in her bag before slinging a strap over her shoulder and following Lucas through the door of the AV room.

She slid her arm around his shoulder as soon as she caught up with the boy, bumping into him playfully just to see him roll his eyes at her in the good natured way that he always did, but he frowned, instead.

She turned to him with a raised brow and asked, "What?"

He raised one back at her, before nudging his head down towards her empty hand, "Where's your skateboard?"

That made her pause and then stop walking all together as she suddenly felt self conscious and out of place with the familiar weight of her board missing from underneath her arm before she rolled her eyes and groaned, "I can't believe I forgot it!"

"Maxine Mayfield forgetting her board!? Is judgement day near or something?" His eyebrows had shot into his hairline with an exaggerated, incredulous lilt in his voice. 

She held in her smile, flipping him off as he grinned at her before trudging back towards the AV room and bursting through the door.

And maybe she should have knocked, even though it was the AV room; the place for nerds where nothing inappropriate ever happened except what had just been going on.

"Shit!"

She didn't know whether that had come from her or Mike as she staggered to a stop before the door, gasping and awkwardly watching as Mike sprang off of Jane with a bewildered look on his face.

For just the smallest of moment, she couldn't help, but stand there, dazzled and not being being able to look away when Jane stepped back and pulled her arms away from around Mike's neck.

"What the fuck, Max?" Mike bellowed at her as he recovered, shuffling to put some more distance between him and Jane, but she had already seen all that there was to see and she knew nothing was going to make her forget what she had just witnessed.

Oh god.

His shout roused her from the sudden numbness that had taken over her limbs and she wanted to ask him the same question because that was Jane he had just been kissing. Jane Hopper.

The Jane Hopper that she was in love with. 

That thought made her blood feel like it was on fire as she balanced her weight on one leg, then the other before shutting her eyes close and trying to stop thinking entirely and erase that horrible picture from her mind all the while ignoring the way her heart was painfully thrumming through her rib cage, but none of that worked and her chest continued to burn.

She licked her chapped lips before blinking her eyes open, "I– uh, my board."

It came out as more of an incoherent mutter that she didn't bother repeating because her brain was past making sense, and understandably so.

How was anything supposed to make sense when the girl she really really f*cking adored stood just a few feet away from her, with her arm now slung around Mike's shoulder and cheeks tinted pink, looking annoyed with her lips pulled into a thin line, most likely because she had just walked in and interrupted the brunette's make out session with the boy of her dreams.

The feeling was mutual because she didn't want herself there either.

It never occurred to her that she had walked towards the chairs and picked up her board as quickly as she could, but rushing through the hallways and then out of the school did make breathing easier, even though something in her was on fire.

In her belly, in her chest or maybe just every where.

And there was that familiar feeling in her heart; toxic and so much of it.

She stopped short beside the school steps, just for a moment as she took in a sharp breath and rubbed the prickling in her eyes away. It couldn't have taken more than a minute before she grounded her jaw and with a deep resolute breath, she hopped onto her skateboard and skated across the parking lot.

Her face stayed stoic, despite the way her shoulders suddenly seemed heavier to hold up, despite how it felt like something in her had died, the same something that always made her stomach jostle and her palms clammy when she was near Jane.

And she didn't realise it then, that that was just the first time Jane broke her heart without either of them knowing, most likely because it was in the wrong place and invested in the wrong person.

On her sleeve and in Jane.

Yet, she reckoned, if she couldn't unlove then maybe, she could dwell in the hate swimming in her stomach because that was better. She felt less like a pathetic lovesick dyke and more like the kind of brave and strong Billy was.

Maybe hate wasn't so bad after all and she had plenty to feel.

There was hate for Jane because the girl didn't–wouldn't–couldn't love her back and hate for Mike because he could hold hands with Jane and take her out for food and gift her candies and it would be normal and the ample amount for herself because.. because there were so many f*cking reasons.

But maybe, maybe someday she would also stop loving Jane; when her heart grew exhausted of harbouring so much love and so many heartbreaks, when there wouldn't be anything left to shatter... Oh, the joys of unrequited love.

She knew the next moment that her day would only go worse from there because the next face she saw was Billy's, looking like the asshole that he was with an unlit cigarette dangling from his mouth and his hockey hair ruffling with the air.

She couldn't help, but think how air ruffling through hair only looked breathtaking when they were Jane's because Billy only managed to look more like a lazy loser who couldn't get a better haircut.

She stopped that thought short when her face flushed with anger once again and the image of Mike and Jane flashed through her mind, giving her a painful reminder of her reality that she desperately wished to escape.

"Look who's in a hurry, today." There was no playfulness in Billy's voice despite the nature of his words.

There was never playfulness in his voice, not when it was directed at her.

She ignored his words as she sidestepped him and climbed into the car, grinding her jaw when he took his sweet time before rounding up to the driver's side.

He stalled as he settled in the driver's seat before fishing out a lighter from his pocket. "Something bothering you?"

She huffed at his pathetic attempt of being a big brother, hoping that would be the end of it. "No."

His jaw visibly clenched at her curt reply before he lit the end of his cigarette and took a puff. "Then why do you look like that?"

It was shocking, to say the least; the way he could tell how she was exactly feeling.

She unconsciously folded her arms, hating feeling so exposed, in front of him, of all people. "Look like what?"

He gave her a long gauging stare before smirking, "Like something is bothering you."

"Why do you care?"

His smirk faded as he turned to her with an unreadable expression. "Because, Max–"  he took a puff from his cigarette, blowing it into her face afterwards– "your mother married my father and as much as I hate the fact that you are my sister, you are family now and I gotta look out for you." 

She didn't know what he exactly meant by the word family.          Nothing about him was brotherly, nothing about her family ever felt like one.

And his looking out be dammed, it was the last thing she needed.

With an exhausted roll of eyes, she threw her hands up before muttering, "Oh, what would I ever do witho–" but never got around to finishing her sentence.

"Hey!" His shout caught her off guard and she jumped in her seat with the suddenness of it all as his fingers firmly wounded around her raised wrist. 

"You are really starting to test my patience Max and something you learn is to do what you're told before I snap."

She looked into his eyes with mild panic, frozen in her place because no matter how much they fought and all that bullock, he had never before laid a single hand on her.

"You got it?" There was so much of Neil dripping from his voice that it made her frown as she tried to break her hand free, but his fingers only tightened the more she struggled and he gave her wrist one more painful squeeze before jerking his arm away and turning in the ignition.

She looked away, out of the window as he pulled out of the parking lot, trying to still her wobbling lips all the while rubbing at her sore wrist before squeezing her eyes shut to stop the dammed tears, the hurt brimming in her chest and the profuse amount of hate in her heart for anything and everything in the world.

She just wanted out. 

Chapter Text

Jane's POV:

It was frustrating and exhilarating and exhausting.

'It' being the ob-seen, if she dared say, amount of things she learnt everyday -from words to looks to things she couldn't even begin to name.

Or maybe, she just observed a lot and paid a bit too much attention to little things, like how no one wore Pajamas to school or how girls went to the restroom a lot more than boys, or the way some girls tied their hair, always with matching hair ties.

It was easy to discern that girls cared about how they looked a lot more than boys, well most girls did.

This vast expanse of knowledge was amazing, even when it felt pointless, it really was and when it came down to it, she reckoned it was better knowing something than not knowing at all.

Which was why she couldn't really complain because she was living a life she couldn't have begun to fathom thinking of, even though sometimes it felt as though there was too much being thrown her way, too much and not enough time and enough of a mind to take it all in.  Those days were a little harder than the others and of course, most of the trouble came with school.

Her life in the cabin had been dull before that, but most of all, uneventful; before there had not been much in her life to live and now, suddenly there were so many things she could, do, be, so many options to choose from that she couldn't decide properly.  

At first, she had been ecstatic at the idea of joining and finally having some freedom of seeing her friends and more of... the world in general, even when Hopper had warned her about how.. gru-ling it was going to be, but she had been too happy then to consider all that was in store for her; most significantly, the ridiculous amount of time that she now had to put in studying at school and out of it, even though it was a lot of fun on the days they had AV club hours.

That probably was what she looked forward to the most. It was nice to spend time with the boys without feeling the need to hide and they could do whatever they wanted, or well, she could. 

And yet, to put it simply, it was frustrating and exhilarating and exhausting, like today..

She couldn't exactly understand why putting a ball in a net was such a.. jovial thing for some people... people like the golden haired boy who stood towards her far left and had the most widest smile on his face and a glint of something else to it that she couldn't put her finger on.
Like a little too much reassurance or maybe the right word was confidence.

What had Hopper called that? Of course, she didn't remember. 

No matter how much she tried, there was always something she was forgetting or couldn't remember right. Or just didn't know.

She felt a familiar annoyance start to brew within her when the man in the black striped shirt blew his whistle and the the gym erupted into another pointless chaos again or what Dustin had been calling 'basket ball' since the last half an hour.

"Why didn't we get something Science related?" Dustin mumbled as the same blonde boy from before threw the ball through the net once more and most of the pupil in the court cheered.

She wished they had gotten something Science related. Mr. Clark had started them on a new topic that she really liked. It involved the stars and the galaxy.. the system of Solar. 

She didn't like it when he delved into things that she couldn't understand yet, things like atmosphe-rec pressure and heavy gases and all that arithe-matic jargon that came along with it, but it all seemed so beautiful, from what little she had seen of it in her book, all the beautiful pictures.

That was definitely her favourite part.

"Because it's an observation exercise, Dustin," Mike retorted from where he was sat beside her.

She looked at him then back at Dustin, wondering if they were going to get into another argument. Again.

Dustin, though, oddly enough stayed quiet, looking off towards the game once more with something akin to interest for the first time.

She followed his gaze to see it fixated upon the boy who now had the ball. 

The same boy who had a lot of hair, definitely more than her and once again, she couldn't help, but wonder how his managed to stay in one place throughout all the running and dodging that he was currently doing, but she couldn't linger on that thought any longer when she felt Dustin straighten up beside her and start muttering something incoherent underneath his breath, making her focus shift.

She leaned a bit over to try to understand what he was saying and as the whole atmos-phere seemed to delve into a tense, curious silence, his words became a lot more audible.

"Come on... come on."

It happened in the blink of an eye, though. 

One moment, Dustin was sitting beside her with a grave, calm facade aside from muttering to himself and the next, he was up and screaming furiously at a group of boys huddled over someone in the court.

It was loud and sudden enough to make her jump and she realised only a moment later that it was Steve who lay flat on his back on the floor.

Steve, the boy with hair longer than her.

"Your brother is an asshole, Max!" Dustin bellowed out, with puffed cheeks and a heaving chest.

She frowned at him, almost asking him if he was okay, but before she could do that, a voice interrupted. "Yeah well, tell me something new."

And who else could it have been other than the redhead?

She heard Lucas chuckle from where he was sat beside Mike and the annoyance, that only moments ago had started to dwell down, crept back into her involuntarily.

"So, how was school?" Hopper asked, giving her a brief side glance as she shrugged her school bag off, setting it down beside her leg.

Her thoughts went back to a few hours back, bringing an involuntary smile to her face as she remembered Dustin's sulking face at being denied getting a better projector and Mike's beaming grin when he talked about their upcoming campaign night and that.. that kiss.

"Good."

She let a smile slip free, getting a raised eyebrow from Hopper at the enthusiastic lilt in it before the man shook his head, even though his eyes were soft with a small smile that she knew he was holding back as he turned in the ignition.

As Hopper turned the car around, her eyes fell upon a familiar figure and zeroed in on Max, who looked as red as the jacket she wore as she said something fervently to a blond boy who was standing by the driving seat of a weird, different car, the same boy who had pushed Steve, she realised and almost gasped.

Was that Max's brother?

Her gaze remained on the siblings until Hopper pulled out of the parking lot and she couldn't see the duo anymore.

She leaned her head onto the window and wondered whether Max's brother was just like the girl or whether the girl was like her brother. Was there supposed to be a difference?
And as she tried to make sense of her thoughts, the green fields on the way home looked a lot more interesting, with the way they were almost twinkling under the sunshine and just like that, her mind zoned out.

He said nothing more as he pointed to another question with his index finger, ruffling her hair in the way that he always did before he slid out of the chair and she took his place instead, liking how the chair was warm as she worked over her homework and Hopper went on to tinker away in the kitchen, most likely to fixthe both of them something to eat.

Chapter Text

Max's POV:

It was giving her a headache, all the thinking, all the pondering that she had done in the last two days and that was the worst part, she reckoned; the thoughts, but could she be blamed, really?

Could she, when somehow she was furious and upset at Jane who hadn't ever spoken more than three words to her, when she felt rile over so many things at once that she could not even comprehend just what she was so furious about in the first place? 

It was frustrating her to no end; it being her 'incapability' to know her feelings, but then again, those always tended to be all over the place, didn't they?

All these bloody questions and yet, that wasn't all– no, because to make matters even worse (which was somehow still possible), the awkwardness that had been there before, between her and Jane and in the air every time she was within the brunette's vicinity –the one that was like a cold burst of air whipping harshly through her hair and stinging her eyes every morning– when Jane greeted the boys and not her; that same rude and unwelcoming awkwardness had increased tenfold and unlike before, it wasn't by any means avoidable anymore, but rather suffocating.

And well, if she were to put it all into simpler idiomatical words, the big fat elephant that had been in the room for so long –that was up until this moment always so easily ignored– now wore a shocking pink attire with a blaring trumpet attached to its trunk.

And never before had she ever had to try so hard to keep a secret safe, a small yet colossal detail that she wished she hadn't known –or more specifically,  walked in on– which was surprising for her, because usually, she could get by easily with not telling others much, with keeping her thoughts to herself and her mouth shut, somehow that came to her naturally at every other instance except this one, because this one little secret she was itching to tell someone else and the idea of giving into that temptation came to her so easily too because, unlike all the other instances, this time she was willing to as well, but dear lord, it also made her feel so guilty, the thought of letting someone know because that would be like breaking Jane's confidence and Mike's too and that was pitiful, was it not?

She couldn't possibly break what she didn't have in the first place now, could she?

And so, that was why she made herself promise to ignore all that Jane Hopper made her feel and the girl's presence, entirely.

She already knew it was, to some degree, unavoidable, but it lessened the hollowness in her stomach and if false relief was all she could get, then she would. With those thoughts running in her mind, she steeled herself and forced one step in front of the other.

Mike's POV:

There was no sunshine today, he noticed.

It was as though the sky could almost sense how he felt and took to portraying it all in the form of a sombre, depressing gray. The clouds were thick and spread throughout the lift as if they would start pouring any second, or so it seemed. And although he could bear this cold, the wind made everything worse and bitter, but despite the unpleasantness, he let his teeth chatter and stayed put, continuing to look around the parking lot up until Dustin yelled for him, his voice lilted with annoyance and impatience.

He didn't intend to move anytime soon, but at that exact second the bell rang, being the last straw and so, he gave the parking lot one last careful and dejected glance before turning his back to it and letting a heavy frown settle over his features as he walked through the school's doors.

Lucas and Will were gone by the time he reached their lockers, off to their lectures he assumed, but soon enough he caught up with Dustin lingering near Max's locker as the girl hurriedly closed it shut.

The curly haired boy pressed his lips into a thin line as he noticed him, scrutinising him subtly before mutely shaking his head, "Dude, take it easy. Everyone skips school every once in a while."

He blinked his eyes shut with a sigh.

It wasn't something he hadn't already known himself, and yet, he couldn't help but gnaw over every possiblity that his mind could come up with. It was rather stupid and pointless, but he reckoned there wasn't much else that he could do besides silently brooding for the moment. And hope, hope —that was important.

"I know, but it's never happened before," he argued.

He noticed Max staring at him, then back at Dustin before she pursed her lips together and said, "You could call around lunch if it's bothering you so much."

"I'm not 'bothered', I'm worried," he immediately stressed, the words rolling off of his tongue reflexively.

"Worried –yeah, that's what I meant," Max murmured as she followed the two of them.

He sighed heavily before adjusting his backpack and nodding at Dustin to get going. "It's not what you said," he grumbled, glancing at her with unmasked disdain so she would know, if she did not already, that he was really annoyed.

"You guys–" Dustin interrupted with unkempt exasperation in his voice– "don't start now."

"I didn't start anything," Max rebuffed. "It's not my fault if his dog's died or something," she murmured under her breath afterwards, but he heard.

Oh, he had heard.

He stopped and turned to the redhead, but before he even could open his mouth to say something, Dustin darted in between the two of them and pleadingly urged him to keep walking with a shake of his head and so, he begrudgingly did, keeping to himself for the rest of the way to Science.

It wasn't worth it, not right now, even though he was certain she knew the reason why he was slightly mad and highly annoyed, aside from the supposed 'death' of his inexistent 'dog'.

•

Max's POV:

A steady pounding was starting to grow at her temples and her eyes solely from how much and how often she had had to roll her eyes throughout that whole day.

The reason?

Mike Wheeler being his older obsessive, broody and dismissive self and it was driving her up the wall, as easily as it used to.

She had taken in stride his rudeness in the morning, she really had.

And again, afterwards in History or rather, tried to, but she couldn't be blamed for not tolerating his moodiness all that nicely when it was clear as day that even Will was getting frustrated with the taller boy and he was the most patient person that she knew.

And so, when the bell for lunch rang, she didn't bother going to the cafeteria, already knowing Mike wouldn't waste a single second before making his way to the courtyard to ring Hopper and she turned out to be unsurprisingly right when she immediately spotted the boys circling the phone booth the moment she got there.

It was starkly noticeable how Mike looked a lot less annoyed and Will wasn't sending him that odd frowned look every other second anymore, which helped lessen the tension in her shoulders as she continued making her way to the four boys.

"He did say we could come, cheer her up, right?" she heard Dustin say as she got within the group's earshot.

It seemed they had already called and talked to Hopper and most likely found out why Jane was absent.

The thought brought back a familiar bittersweet feeling and understandably so, because good grief, she had been so prepared to ignore the brunette and give her a taste of her own medicine.

For the first time in months, she'd also felt so ready, but of course, of course Jane had to skip school today, out of all days, robbing her of even the chance to give the brunette a cold shoulder, for a change.

"Yeah, I think we should go right after school. We can call our parents beforehand, probably should do that now," Mike piped in, swaying back and forth on his toes with a nervous excitement that made him seem odd, given his prior moodiness.

It was ridiculous just how much of a different person he seemed to have turned into now when compared to his robust self earlier in the morning.

And to think that Jane had that kind of effect on him was mildly affronting, but knowing what she did, the whole situation made her feel extremely uneasy as though somehow, for some reason, Mike didn't have the right to have feelings for Jane like that, which he did, obviously.

"What's happening?" she acquired as she came to a stop behind Lucas.

The taller boy turned to her at the sound of her voice before answering, "We called Hopper, he was just leaving. He said she's sick, a flu or something like that."

"And we're visiting?" she asked for the sake of confirmation, ignoring the way Mike huffed loudly.

Lucas nodded, a smile playing at his lips as he replied, "Yeah, right after school–" before leaning in and toning his voice down– "Mike doesn't want to wait."

"Of course he doesn't," she scoffed lowly with an eye roll which earned her a raised eyebrow from the taller boy.

"You know what I mean," was all she offered as explanation before falling in step with Dustin as they all left for cafeteria.

•

Now that she knew she was going to see Jane at her house, the hours felt longer than they were and school seemed to drag on before she was finally! able to escape to the parking lot, skating across and towards Billy's car where he stood waiting, as always with an unlit cigarette dangling from his mouth in true Billy Hargrove fashion.

Cheap fashion, in her opinion.

He gave her that same blank stare that he always did, his expressions all stoic and his face unreadable as he wordlessly turned his back to her and opened the door to his Camaro.

"Wait–" she called out, halting his movements– "I don't need a ride today."

"What was that?" he gruffed out, a bored undertone lilting his voice.

She huffed quietly, impatiently glancing back at where the boys were, "I said I don't need a ride."

"Yeah?" he leaned back on his car distractedly, gaze sweeping over to two cheerleaders standing off to their left, letting the door swing shut as he lit his cigarette.

"I'll be back before evening," she muttered irritatedly at last, turning to leave, but he pulled at her jacket, his quick reflexes stopping her midstep.

"Where are you going?" he asked, his gaze now etched to hers.

She stalled for a moment, staring back challengingly, defiantly and pushing his arm away, "What's it to you?"

"You know, Neil's going to wonder, Max, you going off somewhere with four boys, alone," he smirked at the end. "In fact, anyone, in their right mind, would wonder."

It didn't sit well with her, the way his mouth curled around the words at the end and then it dawned on her.. what he was insinuating.

She barely concealed her disgust and the urge to spit in his face, instead she looked behind her once again, paranoid then, wondering if the boys had noticed, but Dustin stood far off across the lot, to the front, probably hoping to catch Steve there.

Mike and Will were by the older boy's car, seeming engrossed in a discussion that, in that moment, seemed a whole lot more interesting, if it meant she wouldn't be having this conversation with Billy.

And Lucas, Lucas was still by the bike stands, fiddling with the lock on his bike.

"I'm just going to a friend's," she breathed out at last, turning and meeting his gaze before averting her eyes to the chatty blonde cheerleaders to her left, even that seemed like a better conversation to be engaged in.

Goddamn it.

And then Billy was laughing so loudly and suddenly that she almost jumped out of her skin, looking back at him in confusion and wonder and whatnot.

"Befriended another freak, Maxie?" he murmured, his smirk dissolving into a sickly sweet smile and if anyone had cared to look at them right then, they wouldn't have seen anything, but two step siblings having a pleasant chat.

About the weather, even, perhaps.

"It's Max," she admantly corrected, knowing it wouldn't make a difference and he would continue calling her whatever he wanted.

She shook her head mutely afterwards as Billy striaghtened, his mouth curling with a familiar disdain she saw on his face far too often and she contemplated then whether it would seem too odd if she made a run for it now, would he shout, would he chase her and drag her back kicking and yelling?

"Which friend?" he asked a moment later, as he took a long drag and raised a taunting brow at her.

She realised then, that he didn't intend to let her go, his stares, all of his sarcastic and thorough questioning, as if he cared at all and that goddamned mirth swirling in his eyes, he was merely messing with her head.

"I asked you a question, I'm still waiting on that answer, shithead."

She wasn't sure if it was just her or had his voice grown stiffer and harder and it also didn't occur to her at first, that she had taken a step back, but then, one suddenly turned into two and two into three.

And she was sprinting.

"Max, get back here!"

Well, that answered her earlier question, he was going to shout, yet his voice only furthered her efforts.

"Max!"

She didn't look back, not until she was the on the other side of the parking lot, near Steve's car that had, all of a sudden, become a Billy-free safe haven.

"What was that all about?"

She startled, in the midst of catching her breath, not having realized that Lucas had returned from the bicycle stands, now standing alongside Mike and Will, his gaze darting between and behind her.

"Oh that?–" she licked her lips, taking in another deep breath and throwing her hand back– "nothing, he was just joking."

"He doesn't look like he was joking," Mike piped in, a frown etched to his forehead, but his tone irate as Will just continued to question her with his eyes, concern etched to them.

"Believe me, he always looks like that when he's joking," she mumbled, throwing a glance back just in time to see Billy pulling out of the parking lot with a girl next to him that looked distinctly like one of the two blonde cheerleaders, but the piercing glare he sent her on the way made that tiny detail unimportant as she cleared her throat and turned back to Lucas and Mike and Will.

"Hey, there's Steve!" she yelled as she noticed Dustin and said boy making their way towards them, attempting and managing to distract the three boys from giving her equally varying looks of weirded outness, confusion and concern.

•

Steve was waiting for them in his car with the engine turned on and Dustin beside him, but Mike and Will hadn't budged from where they stood a few step away, arguably arguing, confirming her growing doubt when suddenly Will loudly uttered, "Don't you think it's been long enough?!"

Oh

Oh, they were arguing.

"That's not good," Lucas murmured, turning to her before looking back at the duo as she silently agreed.

The sound of a car door opening and shutting drew her attention away as Steve walked past the two of them and towards Will and Mike.

"Okay, both of you, break it off," he stepped in between the two boys, talking and muttering something to each of them for several moments in between which she was itching to go nearer just so she could listen and understand what in the world was going on with those two, but she stayed put beside Lucas.

Roughly five more minutes passed where Dustin all but grumbled more loudly than the boys had argued, but Steve finally managed to diffuse the situation as he patted the two boys on the shoulder and gestured to his car.

She tried to meet Will's gaze, but he never even looked up at anyone as he silently made his way past all of them and settled in the car, broody and upset.
Mike wasn't faring any better, though, except the glare he gave her was tenfold more vicious. And confusing.. and mildly worrying, if she were honest.

Soon enough Dustin made his way back to the car and Lucas joined him until it was just her and Mike and Steve standing a few steps away, looking ready to break up another argument as his eyes darted between her and Mike.

She looked at Will questioningly, but he stayed put, shaking his head dejectedly as he met her gaze and mouthed, "I'm sorry."

Her eyebrows only furrowed further in confusion and then Mike cleared his throat, drawing her attention away before he shifted and stalled, glancing at her and then at Will before he breathed deeply and muttered, "Look you can't come with us and it's not personal."

Just like that, and that was all he said. 

If the look he sent her afterwards was supposed to be a mixture of what she assumed was a silent apology and a grimace put together with terrible acting skills, then it was, but a sorry excuse because the next moment he was shuffling impatiently and meekly inching towards Steve's car. 

She couldn't see what her face looked like then, of course, it might have been an odd sight but, she also wasn't sure how she felt right then.

Angry? Mad? Fuming? None? All?

She wasn't sure about much except for the little vein on her temple throbbing and the silence surrouding all of them because that was deafening, really and it was then that it clicked, how no one was saying anything, in protest.

Didn't silence then mean a muted agreement? 

It turned out, she didn't have to eavesdrop after all. She was sure now, of the what the two had been arguing about.

And the irony would be a little funny if she didn't feel so bitter.

She was just about to open her mouth to spew some colourful profanities, something, anything at Mike because who was he, really and how dare he, but Steve chose that moment to interrupt and his timing was good, she would give him that, if it weren't so annoying. "Hey, so, you need a ride?"

Again– for the second time that day, it didn't occur to her when she took a step back, one turning to two, second followed by a third, "Whatever, no."

She could still feel Mike and Steve and Will and– just everybody staring holes in the back of her head as she let her skateboard drop out from under her arm, letting her feet swiftly slide over the sturdy and comforting wood as the wheels role on.

She did not look back.

She couldn't let them see her sudden stuffy, red nose or the way tears were so quickly blurring her vision now, could she?

•••

Chapter Text

Jane’s POV:

In all of the days that she had lived, Jane did not remember ever being quite so sick. Her head felt as though it weighed a.. tun and yet, every time she made an effort to sit up, she felt her body turning into those pink strings of cotton candy that she had eaten last week.

The worst part, however, wasn't the raw, scratchy feeling in the back of her throat or the sudden cold or warm flushes, but being alone. 

Hopper had left two hours ago, promising to make it back early with some soup and more medecin, but she had lived with him for more than a year now and knew he wasn't going to be back so soon. 

She had managed to get out of bed and brush her teeth, but he had taken one look at her in the morning and school had gone out of the question. 

It was so odd, Jane didn't understand how or why she could possibly feel so bad now when she had gone to bed with just a scratchy throat, but Hopper had unhelpfully rambled about some viril flu as he proceeded to give her a small and really bitter white pill to swallow that she had chewed (because how do you just swallow a pill?) and she was starting to understand why he had spent ten minutes mortyfied, but also trying to hold in his laughter and the next five laughing because now, every time she ran her tongue on her teeth, she felt the awful bitterness return –it was like chewing another tablet all over again and that felt worse than being sick altogether.

She sniffled, blowing her nose for the hundreth time that day before, turning her attention back to the soap opera that was airing for what must have been the fifth time in two days.

If she were honest, she only even knew about it because of the song that played at the start, she had even caught the name 'All My Children' in between singing along and even though she was watching it for the fifth time, she didn't understand half of it.

Or maybe, she didn't want to understand because it made her a little sad and homesick for a pink room in Illannoy that she tried often not to think about which only furthered the loneliness she felt in the cabin and with a small sigh, she let the remote slip from her hand and turned away from the screen, ignoring the woman who was now laughing at something on the small screen. 

She wondered what Mike was doing at that moment, a glance at the clock told her it was close to 11 and he could be anywhere, at lunch or leaving class or the AV Club. 

She knew for a fact that the boys would sorely disagree if she said school was fun, that she missed it when she wasn't there and wished she could be there all the time, but they would also immediately understand how it was her only escape from stale brown wooden walls and the stillness of the forest.

Her lips still broke into an involuntary smile even with how she felt as she wondered what Dustin was mad about this morning or what new harmless argument Lucas had with him. She wondered if Will had completed drawing the picture of them from Halloween, him, Mike, Lucas and Dustin in khakis and her in a white sheet with the holes she had cut into it and Max.. unrecognisable and scary. 

She was surprised she was even thinking of Max, thinking if the boys were having fun with her like before, like Halloween or the gym. She wondered if they missed her or whether it was easy not to with Max there.

Like before. 

She hated that thought the most and come to think of it, she hated most thoughts of Max, not really knowing why. 

It was hard not to.

She felt so small and different and everything that she wasn't in the other girl’s presence which she tried to ignore all the time. Everything that other girls were and she wasn't, like normal and safe and that word Hopper wanted her to be?

A curt glance towards the fridge reminded her it was independent. 

And then she also felt so angry, a stupid angry because they were her.. people, but she hadn't ever had much to keep to herself, except a small fluffy tiger and a few empty promises and now that she did, now that she had more, she really disliked the thought of sharing. 

..or that was what Hopper seemed to think. 

She didn't know what she thought. 

Maybe it was... envi that she could have had the life Max did, like maybe their lives could be swaped or just really that she didn't have to live the life that she did, maybe it was jealousy because Max got to spend a year with her family when she couldn't even step a foot outside, not even under a white sheet —maybe it was fear that one day she would stop being enough for them or that they would lose their patience with her like Hopper still did sometimes, like Dustin sometimes said something, but stopped halfway because she couldn't understand what he was saying or how Mike was always careful, sorry and cautious of every single thing that he said or did like she was one those twigs in the forest that would break with the smallest of pressure, she just thought he would understand how she had spent so long being broken, that maybe she had seen the worst of worst and she could take a lot more than it seemed, but of course he didn't know and she couldn't find the right words to tell him so, much like she couldn't bring herself to ask Lucas why he still seemed to have mixed.. emoshuns –feelings, at times with 'sorry eyes', other times, a simmering hurting anger as if she was doing something very wrong and he wanted her to stop. 

All this and yet, nobody seemed to understand that she understood a lot, she understood looks and moods and eyes because she was a human even if she hadn't felt or been that for so long. 

It was unfair, it was so unfair and most of the time, she just wanted to understand why and how and make it right. 

She wanted to be better for Hopper and her friends. She wanted to be not stupid. She wanted to stop worrying about all the mistakes she might make. 

And everything. Everything. But it was hard. 

Maybe that was it, maybe –just maybe she wanted to forget every bad thing and person that had happened to her, start worrying less about what was going to happen next and more about what was happening now. She just wanted to live, ride on the back of Mike's bicycle and play video games and listen to music and just have things be the way they were right now forever. 

But with Max came all the changes. 

Now that the redhead was there, she wasn't the only girl in the party and that made her feel like she had to win, somehow. Win something each time Max glanced at her or talked to one of the boys. Each time Max rode her skateboard so effortlessly and glided through the parking lot, as though she had the same powers as her. 

Win something, but she didn't exactly know what. It was like that each time. And she always thought she won, except.. she never really felt good about it. 

Maybe that was it, but telling that to Hopper.. and her friends.. now that was the... harder part. 

It was these thoughts that El had lost herself in when she heard footfalls and twigs crunching, bringing her out from her thoughts. 

Her heart skipped a beat and she sat, breathing quietly and listening for any other sounds when–

“Dustin, I really don’t think you need to look at your compass down here,” came Mike’s voice with that familiar lilt in it, the one that meant someone must be doing something he thought was stupid, the one he never used with her. 

The smile that broke out on her face was inevitable. She shot up from the couch where she’d spent most of her morning, peering out of the window to see the boys making their way to the cabin. 

The lock on the door came undone on its own as she sniffled slightly, mouth still spread in a wide grin. 

There they were, her friends, all four of them. 

She wondered if they had come without Max on purpose, but the thought was fleeting as the door opened and she went straight into Mike’s arms, nodding as he asked if she was okay. 

And how could she not be?

It was like before, they were all together, just the five of them and that made her happy. 

Really happy.

•••

Max was, in every sense of the word, excessively, down-to-her-very-bones-pissed-off. 

She didn’t know she could be this angry, but props went to Mike Assholic, Stick-Up-His-Ass Wheeler for the sudden burst of enlightenment. 

She wasn't as mad at the others, even though, they had all stayed quiet like a bunch of numbskulls who couldn't think for themselves because apparently Mike did all the thinking and they followed like the losers they all were, but she wanted to maybe punch a hole into Michael's skull and throw out all the bullshit that was residing there –including his audacity and his stupid, f*cked up sense of protectiveness or whatever that he thought he was doing and Jane–

Jane Ives El Hopper or whatever her mouthful of a name was –Max didn't even want to think of the girl at that moment.

That’s how mad she was because it was fine as long as the girl glared holes in the back of her head and brushed away her existence, but this was something else entirely. This was about deserting her from all of her friends and she took that personally because no matter the bunch of losers they were, they were still her friends.

And now, Jane was stealing all of Max's friends because the girl didn't understand the concept of friendships or how they worked or maybe the fact that having issues and a really bad upbringing still didn’t give her the freepass to make other people feel like absolutely shit.

And that, that feeling was actually making it all feel worse than it should. 

She felt like absolute shit. Because –lord, even Will? And Lucas who supposedly had a crush on her? And Dustin, the reasonably logical one out of the four? 

Boys were so stupid. Shit. 

Whatever. 

Just whatever.

Except it wasn’t whatever. She pounded her palm on the machine as she failed her fifth try to get past the fiery dragons and the thump rang out loud enough for the pale boy at the next gaming console to send a frown her way, for a second time. 

She glared at him until he meekly looked away. Again. 

“All right, hold up now, red,” Keith mumbled, with a mouthful of popcorns. 

“This shit doesn't pause,” she replied, her tone lacking interest in anything the lanky guy had to say.

She had hoped that was going to be the end of it, but she never was very lucky when it came to.. generally anything apparently. 

Max sighed as the screen in front of her went black and the prompt to add more coins came up. 

“That’s what I’m saying, red. You’ll have to stop or I'm going to lose my machine. You know this stuff isn’t cheap,” Keith spoke up again, this time, thankfully after he’d finished chewing. 

“Yeah, but you sure are,” she whispered under her breath as she plastered a fake smile on her face and turned to him. 

His eyes narrowed suspiciously as she asked in a sickly sweet tone, “What do you want, Keith?” She emphasised, hoping to make her frustration apparent. 

“Look, I don’t know what your deal is, but you’ve been at it for an hour and kids are complaining about your aggressiveness, so tone it down, all right?” He said, looking at her expectantly. 

“You've got to be shitting me..” she whispered, rolling her eyes so strongly, it made her head hurt for a second. 

“Hey, language, kid. I know you're a regular, but either you cool off or call it a day.. mayb–,”  he drawled out, his worlds curling unsurely at the end as he noticed the unmasked affronted look on her face.  

“Did you seriously just ask me to get out?” Max blinked rigidly, before the guy had even finished his sentence. 

“I asked nicely?” He replied, in the same unsure manner. 

“You have the nerve– oh my god, you know what? Screw your dingy piece of rust–" she slammed her palm over the console– “it’s not even entertaining,” she fumed as she bent to pick her skateboard– “screw you and screw all your shitty consoles too, you moron!”

“Hold it, you– Get back here, YOU BRAT–”

Max didn’t hear what else he had to say as she was already halfway out of the arcade, screaming– “You hold it! And DON’T EVER CALL ME RED AGA-!” 

Her throat closed up before she could get the last word out, tears stinging her eyes as the frustration she’d been feeling the entire day reared it’s head and came rolling off of her in waves. 

She skated home haphazardly, tripping thrice as she did so and locked herself into her room as soon as she reached her house, before she ran into Billy or Neil and things took a turn for the worse.   

That’s also where she stayed all afternoon, telling her mom she was going to turn in early when she was called for dinner, just so she didn’t have to go out and pretend to not be fuming. 

Instead, she mindlessly skimmed through one of her comics, cursing out four boys and a curly haired brunette in particular as she tried to calm down. 

Easier said than done, though.

As much as she kept trying to not let it get under her skin, she cared. 

She cared about her friends and she liked being included and it was nice to be around them. Even though, Max would never be caught admitting all this, her friends were one of the most important parts of her life and she had thought, to some extent, it was the same for them. 

Maybe it was about time she realised there was still a lot she didn’t know about them. 

The thought made Max’s eyes sting once more and she sniffled as she plopped back into her pillow, finally, finally letting herself cry. 

•••

She woke up the next morning in the same sour mood from last night, the only difference being that she was way past being sad about it. 

Now that she’d spent a better part of last night crying herself to sleep and feeling disappointed over the boys’ hurtful actions, Max felt an icy uneasiness settle into the pit of her stomach. 

What was she supposed to do now? 

A part of her wanted to ignore what had transpired altogether, pretend none of the boys had hurt her yesterday by so obviously excluding her from the party, pretend, like all of the other times, that she was as much a part of the circle as any of them, pretend that none of this had happened because of Jane or because there were always two sides in between all of their friendships; hers and Jane’s. 

Pretend that each time they hadn’t picked Jane’s. 

But this was different.

This time had been different. This time was deliberate and something they had all mutedly agreed upon and if they were all so okay with doing things like that, then maybe it was about time Max should become used to it too. 

She was stupid to think she had fit in and found a good bunch of friends so easily, anyways. 

And so, as Max stepped out of Billy’s car that morning and saw the party by the bicycle stands, the boys and Jane, who had shown up today, she steeled her jaw, turned the opposite way and took the longer route to first period.

As a result, she entered her class a whole ten minutes after the bell had rang, mumbling an apology to her English teacher before scanning the room for a seat.

The absurdity of her situation hit Max like a shit ton of bricks as she dejectedly noticed the only seat which hadn’t been taken by then was the one besides Jane Ives Hopper. 

Her shoulders slumped in utter defeat as Miss Beale asked her get settled quickly and she half heartedly made her way to sit beside the brunette. 

So much for avoiding. 

The uneasiness in her stomach made itself known once more, only this time Max realised what it was. 

God, she was still so f*cking sad.

Chapter Text

Jane’s POV: 

“So you really are feeling better now?” She nodded toward Mike as she got her books out from her locker just before the first period. 

Her nose was no longer stuffy and the medicine Hopper had brought yesterday had left her feeling a lot better, to the point that she was able to come to school today. An involuntary smile broke out on her face at the thought of the day before. 

It had been such a good afternoon. The boys rarely ever came to the cabin like that, not all of them at once. It was usually Mike and sometimes Will when Joyce was visiting, but Hopper almost never allowed all four of them over at once. 

Yesterday had been different, though. Probably because she was feeling sick and Hopper knew how much it meant to her to be able to see her friends, but it was nice of Hop to do that, she had even thanked him on the drive over to school for letting her friends come, earning a soft smile from the man in return. 

He knew by now that the four boys always managed to make her feel better, no matter what it came to. 

Dustin had brought over four different ‘bored games’ for them to play and not even taken them back once he’d explained how each of them worked. Now they were stacked underneath her bed. She had liked monopoli the most and still barely understood anything about the boys’ favourite, Dunjuns and Draguns, even though they’d been playing it since before she’d met them. 

She just wasn’t very good at following the story and then also having to play through it. It confused her, unlike Chess, which she was a ‘champion’ at, according to Lucas. 

She didn’t know about that, but she was better at it than Mike, that much was true. Even Dustin had said so as well. 

They’d spent a better part of the afternoon playing the bored games until Lucas pulled out some cards. She already knew how to play those, but only a few rounds of it later, Hopper had come home with some food. He’d let the boys stay to eat, after which they’d all headed back to their own homes before it got dark outside.

Mike left with Lucas and Dustin, but Will had stayed until later. 

He had remembered to bring back her homework and she’d felt this happy feeling erupt in her chest as he gave it to her. Then he’d also helped her with some of the exercises until Joyce came to pick him up. He was thoughtful and nice like that.  

She had gotten a little sad that the day had gone by so quickly, but the good days always did so. Though just before leaving, Will had told her that they could play all the games they’d brought her through the radio now that she had them on her. 

The idea had blown her mind a little bit, but she was excited to try it. 

She had then taken the medicine Hopper had brought, this time carefully swallowing the pill and not chewing it, but that didn’t stop Hopper from teasing her about it, telling her to ‘chew on it.’

He did warn her that she would get very sleepy because of the medicines and he was right about it too as she felt really drowsy just an hour after taking them, thus, going to bed early. 

However, it wasn’t until 7 this morning that she had woken up, feeling almost as fine as she had the day before she’d gotten sick. 

The bell for the first period rang and pulled her out of her thoughts about yesterday. She shook her head a little, before slamming her locker shut. 

Jane turned and gave the boys a little wave before going towards English, glancing at the students loitering in the hallway and once back at the boys as she did so. She knew most of her way around now and had asked them, especially Mike, to not walk her everywhere. He did seem a little uncomfortable with the idea, waving back as he stood there shuffling his feet, but she knew she needed to do these… things. 

If she wanted to ‘fit in’ and ‘get by’ as Hopper had said, she ‘had to learn all of this and more. And quickly.’ 

The brunette made a beeline for the middle row as soon as she entered her classroom, settling down as Miss Beale followed soon after. A few minutes in and she was starting to somewhat understand what today’s lecture was going to be about when the door to the classroom opened, making Miss Beale pause mid-sentence. 

Jane watched the exchange between the woman and Max with vague interest before Miss Beale hurriedly motioned for her to take a seat. She didn’t look away when the redhead’s gaze fell on her as the girl looked around the classroom and it wasn’t until she was almost by her desk that she finally understood why Max was shuffling her way. 

A quick glance of her own around the classroom confirmed her suspicions and she frowned before looking down at her book. 

She was going to have to sit beside Max. 

The said girl put her bag down before she plopped into the seat beside her, taking out her notebook and a pencil a few minutes after she’d remained sitting there doing nothing. 

And that’s when it had started. 

A scribble.

And tap, tap, tap. 

The crisp noise of pencil scratching away at paper, followed by the tapping of a foot. 

And then some more of it. 

And more. 

It didn’t stop. 

•••

Jane sighed as she squeezed her eyes shut, grinding her jaw a little before sitting up straighter and sighing out loud. She couldn’t focus. All and any attempts and hopes of tuning into what Miss Beale had been saying for the past few minutes had been useless. 

She knew what she was feeling. It was annoyance, clear as day and she also knew why.

The brunette glanced beside her at the redhead who was hunched over her notebook, her hair shielding her face as she kept scribbling away and shaking her leg while she was at it. It didn’t take a genius to make out that Max wasn’t paying attention to the lecture, or even her surroundings, at that. Otherwise, the redhead would’ve already noticed the heated glares she had sent her way several times by then. 

And what had begun as an almost non-existent sound of pencil on paper had started sounding like nails on a chalkboard to Jane’s ears. Even the desk was shaking slightly as the redhead kept tapping her left foot and she just couldn’t ignore it anymore. 

She didn’t want to draw any unnecessary attention to herself by calling the redhead out, and so, had settled on continuing to stare at the redhead or the side of her head, that is. 

As equally distracted by then as the girl beside her. 

It didn’t help that Max’s entire face was hidden behind her hair, the red a stark contrast against her pale skin and the black jacket she was wearing. Jane frowned as she realized she actually hadn’t seen the redhead’s face at all since the moment she’d sat down beside her. And come to think of it, the redhead hadn’t even nodded or done that awkward shoulder gesture that she did to say hi to her. Of course, she always ignored it, but that didn’t mean she didn’t take notice of it every time.

It was weird though that Max was sitting there and continued to do… this. 

Whatever it was that she was doing. It was beyond her understanding. She felt the spark of irritation the redhead always brought out in her ignite again and the more she felt the desk shake, the worse it grew. 

It grew so much worse in fact, that she couldn’t hear or feel anything else at that point. The sound of Miss Beale’s voice seemed distant, the hushed whisperings of her classmates were completely drowned out. 

The only thing she could focus on was the sound of Max’s pencil, the one sound she didn’t want to hear for even a second longer. It was as though all of her body’s blood was pooling around her ears and she closed her eyes, fisting her palm and pressing it to her forehead to help lessen the ache now forming there. 

Jane sat like that for a minute at least, wondering if her headache which was coming back was because she’d been sick yesterday or if it could all be blamed on the situation at hand. 

It was in the middle of this train of thought that it clicked. 

She wondered just why she hadn’t thought of this fifteen minutes ago before smiling to herself and shaking her head at her own stupidity, amused rather than annoyed by it. She breathed in to relax, keeping her eyes closed as she concentrated on the noise of the pencil, scribbling, scribbling, and scribbling back and forth on paper and the continuous tap, tap, tap that just wouldn’t– wouldn’t stop. 

It wasn’t so hard because, for the last fifteen minutes that was all she’d been able to hear, the brunette mutely scoffed as she focused. 

She found the smallest amount of pressure spark in her head, separate from the ache that’d been there before and– 

Silence. Finally.

She opened her eyes, breathing out in relief. 

It had stopped. 

The brunette smiled, quite pleased with herself before looking at the girl sitting beside her, still concentrating on the girl’s hand that was holding the pencil and her leg, both of which were now, unmoving. 

Jane heard her faintly mumble, ‘What the...’ before the redhead trailed off and almost squeaked, twisting in her seat a little oddly and quite literally gawking at Jane. The redhead parted her lips as if to say something before clamping her jaw shut a little too forcefully, looking down at her own hand and then back up at Jane. 

She felt her nose turning runny and wiped away at it with her finger, staining some of it slightly red. Max’s eyes immediately zeroed in on the bloodstain before she looked up at her once again, a dumbfounded expression now fixed on her face. 

‘I– D-did you just—,’ the shrill sound of the bell interrupted her focus as she looked up at the clock. She saw Max jump up at the sound of the bell out of the corner of her eye, the pencil clattering on the floor as it fell out of the redhead’s hand. 

Jane blinked hard, wondering how the time had gone by so fast before taking ahold of her textbook.  

She hadn’t even closed her book all the way when Max stumbled out of her chair friskily, the contents of her book bag spilling out as she did so. 

Jane stared, with vague confusion as the redhead continued to mutter, ‘Shit, shit,’ as she squatted to pick up her books with a sudden urgency, dumping everything unceremoniously back into her bag as she stood up and proceeded to run into a chair. ‘Shit,’ the girl cursed once more, skidding to her left to avoid running into another desk before disappearing into the hallway, but not before sending Jane a quick, frown-stricken glance as she left.

A similar expression settled on her own face, the whole ordeal pulling her into mulling over what had just transpired.  

Seriously, what was up with Max? The brunette wondered as she went back to packing her bag.

However, the brunette couldn’t help, but find her thoughts going back to the other girl. 

It had never really happened before that Max would spend an entire class without making some form of an attempt to talk to her and then up and leave like she just had. 

But wasn’t this what she had wanted this whole time? To ignore the redhead, have her do the same, and get her off of her back?

As far as she was concerned, she didn’t even remotely like the other girl and couldn’t stand her most of the time if the redhead so much as opened her mouth and made her presence known, but this… this felt just as equally weird… and annoying. 

It shouldn’t feel like that if the redhead had finally taken the hint, should it? 

Except something did feel off and she didn’t like that. She couldn’t really understand why this was so unsettling for her, except that it just was. Her foot landed on something small and solid and she glanced down to see what it was. 

With pursed lips, the brunette bent down to pick up the pencil that had fallen out of Max’s hand, pausing to stare at it for a few seconds and shaking her head.

As she made her way out of the classroom and towards science, her thoughts remained where they were.

Max’s POV:

She had lasted a whole day. An entire day of school without running into any of the boys. Of course, she had seen them around the place. She did share a few classes with them after all, but so far, her ploy to avoid all of them had gone smoothly. Or well, as smoothly as things could go for her.

Her little ‘run-in’ with Jane yesterday was still as bewildering to think about as it had been since the moment realization had dawned on her.

The brunette had used her powers on Max.

 The feeling of that magnetic pull, of the brunette’s telekinetic hold over her body, or part of it had given her chills. She had downright lost her shit, actually. It had been so bizarre. If she were, to be honest, she had run out of that class on autopilot really. Her brain had been all kinds of frazzled yesterday, so Jane’s sudden, out-of-character mind punch to her guts hadn’t exactly helped make things easier. On top of it, she couldn’t understand why the brunette had even done it.

Was she trying to mess with Max? Was it some weird form of mockery that Jane and only Jane would find funny?

Or… good Lord, was— was Jane going to bully her now? 

 She surely wouldn’t have a lot of trouble doing that. If her cold shoulder hadn’t been enough of a sucker punch to Max all year long, the brunette could always raise it all up a notch—  she was telekinetic, for crying out loud. Max didn’t even stand a 0.0000001 percent chance against the other girl and it also didn’t help that she was too whipped to even try.

Hadn’t yesterday been proof enough of that? She had all, but turned and fled as soon as her class had ended instead of confronting the brunette about why she’d exactly frozen her in the middle of a class that had only been the very first period of the day. FIRST period.

What if they had been stuck together for longer? What would’ve Jane done then?

The thought intimidated her and excited her at the same time.

Max groaned as she squeezed her eyes shut, wincing, actually wincing out loud at how much of a cliché she had become. An utterly dimwitted wastoid with nothing better to do than daydream about her major, major crush turned rival slash soon-to-be bully. 

But it was so hot. She felt a little ashamed of herself for thinking of the other girl like that, but she couldn’t deny what was true.

Max had only witnessed Jane’s power a few rare times and couldn’t help the complete, swooning, and shattering awe that had filled her chest at every single instance. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to it. It was... something about it was just so...  so goddamn hot. 

She saw the turn of her school's lot come up and made a quick left, continuing to glide through the pavement as she went back to her thoughts. 

Jane was such a badass. 

The mental image of the brunette, of seeing her for that very first time was still imprinted in Max’s mind. The girl in her black jacket, rolled-up jeans, and slicked-back hair, was, undoubtedly, one of her favourite looks of the brunette, but if she was being this honest with herself, then it also wouldn’t hurt to admit that Jane could pull off any outfit or look she wanted. 

She had an athletic body and would probably grow taller than Max’s 5’2 stature soon enough. The waves in her hair were natural and looked good even in a simple ponytail. It wouldn’t surprise her if sooner or later Jane started getting noticed by the popular crowd or boys in general. Or girls.  

She reckoned the brunette didn’t suspect any of this, but Max could see it all happening in the near future. At least she wouldn’t have to worry about where she would exactly stand with Jane or the boys if something like that did happen because with the way things were going, clearly, she didn’t stand anywhere near them at all.

She didn’t even fit in well with the ‘losers’ where did that exactly leave her?

‘HEY! WATCH IT,’ someone yelled, halting her thoughts as she looked up, her eyes widening when she saw the two guys standing a few meters in front of her.

She shifted her weight swiftly, not knowing when she had ended up on this side of the parking lot, and tried to steer her board to the right, luckily managing to miss running straight into the two boys.

However, she completely failed to take notice of the rubble on the pavement until her board was already tumbling onto it, making her lose all her balance. Immediately, Max threw out her hands in front of her on instinct as her skateboard slid from underneath her feet, a groan escaping her as she landed on her front, hard.  

She felt the rubble dig into her palms and shins as her board rolled a few meters away. The familiar ache from falling settled into her limbs soon after and another groan fell from her mouth.

It had been so long since she’d last tripped from her board.

Before the redhead could try to get up and collect herself, she heard several footsteps pattering the pavement until they stopped right beside her.

‘Shit! Are you okay, MadMax?’

Max paused for a beat before scrunching her eyes close. God, why did it have to be them?

Chapter Text

Jane's POV:

'I'm voting on Day of the Dead. I know for a fact that once they open Starcourt , we can watch it there. My dad told me all about it. We have to go watch it. I think it's going to be epic! Dustin, you're with me on this one, right?' Lucas gushed out in one go from beside her as he chained his bike to the rack, but truthfully, the words all went over her head.

She couldn't comprehend a single thing he had just said.

Moreso because she was already a little… preocupied , only partially paying attention to the conversation happening around her because something much more interesting had acquired her attention.

It was just that.. there was something so.. smooth about the way a.. skateboard worked.

It looked a little.. funny, but also cool.  Especially from afar, almost making the person upon it seem like she was… floating over the ground.

A part of her wondered how it felt to use wheels like that... instead of walking.

Jane had been mindlessly scanning the parking lot when she had seen Max make her way in on her skateboard. She thought for a quick moment about where the redhead's brother was because she had seen both of them coming in that differently shaped car, but there was no sign of him there today.

How hard could it be to ride a skateboard, she wondered, still watching the redhead.

She got somewhat of an ironic answer the very next moment when the redhead, whose board she'd been looking at, made a sharp turn, passing some boys on her way and then, somehow, tumbling into the pavement.

Even though, Jane had already been looking Max's way when it happened —to be fair, she had been looking at the girl's skateboard, not the redhead herself, but to witness the succession, all but in the matter of five seconds, had her a little startled.

One moment the board had been underneath the redhead's feet, all smooth and fluttering, the next –the girl herself lay flat where her board had just been.

Jane looked beside her at the boys to gauge their reactions only to realise they hadn't even noticed yet, still too busy talking about the upcoming movie and.. Starcourt.

She frowned, worrying her lip between her teeth before turning to Lucas who was beside her and shaking his arm.

He looked back at her, raising his brows in question as she mutely gestured towards the other end of the parking lot.

It took him a moment to realise what –or who exactly she was pointing at before his eyes widened.

'Oh, shit,' he muttered, eyes wide before abandoning his cycle on the rack and breaking into a sprint.

'Lucas?! Class– is that... Max?' Mike mumbled, his voice losing volume as realisation dawned on him too.

Another few seconds and they were all making their way to the other end of the lot while Lucas was already beside the redhead.

And just like that, the chipper, carefree mood they had all been in basking in, evaporated.

She found herself not caring for it, though.

Her mind was frazzled from trying to keep up with the boys' banter and witnessing Max tumble to the floor.

She wasn't worried, not really, perhaps only a little un-per-turbed.

The mixed emotions were distracting enough that they made the brisk walk towards the other end of the lot not even register.

She loitered at the back with Mike as she overheard Lucas asking the redhead if she was okay.

The girl had yet to say anything as she sat up. Jane didn't miss the grimace on her face before her features smoothed out, as though she hadn't been lying sprawled on the ground for the past minute.

Her eyes ran over Max's jeans, now dust clad and dirty around the knees, same as her palms and the upper front of the red jacket she was wearing, but it was hard to tell if the girl was hurt or not.

'I'm fine,' Max answered back at last, inspecting her palms as she clapped the dust and gravel off of them, not sounding convincing to Jane's ears at all.

'Are you hurt? Let me see,' Lucas outstretched his palm, but a swift no from Max had him stalling, confusion evident on his face as the girl quite literally coiled away.

If it weren't for the quick glances she kept throwing Max, she would have almost missed where the gravel had managed to cut into the redhead's hand just as the girl fisted her palm close.

Jane frowned, chewing at her lips once again as Max got off of the ground, avoiding all of their looks and beelining for her skateboard that Dustin was holding.

The girl ran her hands over her board, giving it a once over, though, she was much more gentler with it than she had been when dusting herself off, Jane noticed.

She wondered why Max had just lied when she was clearly hurt.

Or was she the only one who had noticed that?

Jane kept looking between the redhead and the boys, feeling some sort of tension brewing, but she couldn't tell why. There was a frown etched to almost all of their faces, including her own.

The sound of wheels hitting the gravel made her look towards the other girl once again.

'You guys should get to class too,' Max fixed her bag onto her shoulder, one strap hanging loose.

Her right foot kicked the ground, sending the skateboard rolling forward smoothly once again.

Even though Jane had stood silent throughout the whole ordeal, spectating –she couldn't help, but let her thoughts go back to yesterday.

This time, she was sure of her suspicions from the day before.

Max was… definitely acting weird.

'Um, so... that happened,' Dustin remarked unhelpfully, as he turned to Lucas, a weird expression fixed to his face that Lucas seemed to understand with no trouble.

The other boy smacked his lips together before pinching his nose and breathing out, 'I know, man.'

She saw Will sending Mike a fixed, pointed look before shaking his head and looking away to where Max had disappeared.

Jane cleared her throat, 'What... happened?' The confusion dripped into her voice easily, drawing Dustin and Lucas' attention as she spoke for the first time since that morning before the taller boy replied.

'She's mad at us,' he sighed out.

Max's POV:

'Max, hold on!'

She was barely able to escape Science when she heard their thundering footsteps behind her, in sync with all of their hollering.

The kids in the hallway were already sending weird looks at the boys' way so she glared at anyone she could as she passed by, her own pace brisk and quick as she turned left.

Maybe, just maybe if she was fast enough, they would give up and she could—

'Max!! Wait up!'

No such luck , she thought to herself.

'We just want to talk, come on!' Dustin yelled once again from behind her, the loudest of them all, and slightly breathless.

'Screw it,' she said to herself in an undertone before turning around.

The three boys paused dead on their feet as she did so, their faces displaying varying states of panic and confusion and breathlessness.

Geez.

'What do you want?' Max asked, not caring to conceal her brimming annoyance.

'Can we talk?' Lucas held up the keys to what she assumed was the AV room, gesturing vaguely in that direction.

'I can't even express to you how much I would rather do literally anything else,' she bit back with her usual snark in place, determined to walk away from whatever idiocy they had cooked up this time.

Dustin gave the taller boy a look, clearing his throat as if he was going to say something, but getting interrupted by Will instead, 'Max, please... we know you're mad at us.'

She exchanged a look with the pale boy, his eyes glistening and morose before throwing her head back and sighing out.

It wasn't as easy to thawrt Will off with her cynical remarks and rebuffs as it was the other boys, not when his approach was always so.. heartfelt.

She felt her heart giving in even when her mind was telling her to just bail, turn on her heels and go. 'Fine,' she let out, '–but we're talking here.'

Dustin's face immediately broke into a grin, making him look a little too pleased with himself while Lucas and Will nodded to each other, faces turning hopeful, she noticed with a frown.

She couldn't believe she was actually doing this. God, so now they were going to talk .

'We swear to you it was a one time thing,' Dustin started, his hands gesturing outward as he spoke.

'Oh, was it?' Max iterated sarcastically, but it didn't hinder the boys, only fueling their attempts to persuade.

'Yes!' Lucas reiterated. 'It won't happen again. We're planning the campaign and the whole party is going to be there for it, so it really won't.'

'Right, so let me get this straight,' she straightened up, fixing her board underneath her arm. '–that anytime you guys go see Jane, I don't have to stay back because it's 'not personal?'

'Well, not exactly, I mean—,' Will elbowed Dustin in the side, the curly haired boy clamping his mouth shut as though he'd been electrocuted, whatever he was going to say remaining unsaid.

'That's– that won't happen again .' Lucas supplied, his voice still smooth and confident. 'Plus, the campaign is at Will's, so, going to her place really was a one time thing.'

A group of 7th graders sent them dirty looks as they walked by and Max was reminded again just how ridiculous this entire situation was.

'Whatever. Look, it doesn't matter, okay? I'm over Wheeler's bullshit and this entire Jane ... fiasco ,' she said, her words ringing with finality and conviction, coming out more convincing than she actually meant them.

'Max..' Will spoke up again, trailing off when she gave him another pointed look to show him she really meant it this time around, but he continued, 'Max.. we’re sorry.'

It would be a complete lie if she said she wasn't stunned to hear those words come from him, her mouth clipping shut because.. what was she supposed to say to that?

Dustin and Lucas muttered swift agreements of their own, nodding their heads alongside each other. She could see the cogs turning in their heads as they noticed her speechless, for once.

She breathed in. He had done it again, with his soft eyes and saying the exact words some unknown part of her had been wanting to hear.

Why was it that she was so hung up over this, anyway? She wondered.

All the feelings from that day came rushing back to Max. She had felt like such crap and from the looks of it, Will probably knew that already.

‘We’re sorry.’ His words continued to ring inside her head on repeat. Sorry . They were apologising .

She didn't get to hear a lot of those., especially not directed at her.

Max didn't miss the way he sounded a little sad, eyes unblinking as he continued to stare into hers, as if he meant to say he wasn't going to back off. 

She felt his gaze burn into her, looking back at him with the same intensity, hoping to make it known to him that she wasn't mad at him, per say.

Not really him.

It wasn't his fault, maybe it was not anyone's fault. Even though, they could have said something or given her a heads up, at the very least, before embarrassing her like that.

It seemed like Will already knew she didn't blame him as he gave her a small smile.

What had started off as entirely ridiculous was quickly becoming a little too emotional and out of hand for her.

Goodness , she didn't want to have a heart to heart with the boys in the middle of this grubby hallway,  she thought to herself.

Max felt her her face turning increasingly hot as she shuffled, now uncertain and uncomfortable, with the three boys standing in front of her and waiting for her response.

Did they want her to say she forgave them? The thought, the vulnerability of that alone, made her coil back into her own. Forgiving meant first admitting that they had hurt her.

She looked away from Will, breaking her staring fest with him and shuffling some more as she looked past the boys.

Her palm stung from where she was gripping her bag so tightly. The hallway had cleared out by then, all the kids now probably seated in their respective classes, another unhelpful reminder that she really could and should be anywhere, but here.

'Max,' Lucas called out once more, voice soft and pleading.

She breathed out again, this time quite audibly. His voice tugged at something in her chest, but... she couldn't.

She had been hopeful so many times before, had promised herself each time would be different, had learnt how wrong she was to think that at every one of those instances.

Max blinked her eyes, gaze returning to the boys, 'No, yeah, I know,' she cleared her throat, making sure to nod at Will as she said the words, before giving all three of them a once over.

They really did seem sorry, but she couldn't.

Not so soon, at least.

'So, are we... good?' Lucas murmured, words still soft, still cautious.

'I– I don't know,' she replied.

And she was being honest, she had zero clue over how to really tackle this conversation. It was too cautious, too unfeigned and... that was too uncomfortable, uncharted and a little scary at that moment–not that she would admit to any of this.

Her brain and heart seemed to be in total disagreement, maybe this wasn't as big of a deal as she was making it out to be, but she had embarrassed herself enough times, hadn't she?

She owed herself this, at least, some time, some last bit of dignity to not go running back as soon as they called.

And yet, here they stood, all three of them, soft voices and apologies mixed together with the boyish way their brains worked, convincing enough to throw her determination into a completely disheveled mess.

'Jesus, what's up with you guys? You ran out of class like your butts were on fire,'  Mike's voice cut through the air like a knife, pulling Max out from her thoughts, momentarily startling her.

Lucas, Dustin and Will all turned their head towards the taller boy before looking back at her and not offering him any explanation.

Her eyes flitted over to where Mike and Jane had now come to stand. She fixed her bag onto her shoulder once again, clenching her jaw when the scab from this morning brushed against the rough strap of her bag.

Her eyes met Jane's of their own accord, because, of course they did , Max thought to herself, partly exasperated and annoyed.

She saw the brunette eyeing her hand and rolled her shoulders uncomfortably, wrenching her gaze away from those dark iris' of Jane.

Now that their little intervention had been interrupted by the two, she was truly at a loss for how to respond and she really didn't wish to have this conversation in front of Wheeler, but more importantly, in front of Jane.

It was ironic and uncanny how most things seemed to revolve around the brunette for Max.

It was unfair.

'I'm really late for gym,' Max finally said, her voice low as looked at Lucas, words devoid of any snark or bite.

A moment passed as she did the only thing that felt right to do then, with Jane's gaze boring into hers the way it was.

She turned on her heels, and walked away.

'Crap,' she heard him say from behind.

Jane's POV:

The shower after gym always felt like a... blesing once the period was over, she thought to herself as she ran a towel through her hair, ruffling her curls to dry them.

Her hair had grown a lot more than... well, ever . The strands stooped way past her shoulders, wavy, light and smooth.

She liked them. This was the nicest her hair had ever looked.

Jane opened her gym locker, taking out her bag before clicking the door shut, but not before bobbing her head one last time in the small mirror inside and smiling.

With the bag slung over her shoulder loosely, she turned right to make her way out of the locker room.

However, it fell off of her as she stumbled into someone turning to head out of the doors at the same time.

The brunette bent down to pick her bag back up, doing a double take when she realised the person was none other than a certain redhead.

Max looked… equally surprised to see her there, staring down at her mutely.

Jane scrut-nised the redhead for a moment longer, noticing the girl had just come out of the shower as well, her red hair still dripping as they sat loose atop her shoulders.

Disdain apart, she had always found the girl's hair... pretty. The different colour, the natural… waves, especially when untied like this, made the redhead seem softer. Like someone she could actually get along with.

But that wasn't going to happen, she reasoned with herself. Because Max was loud and annoying and 'really, really sarcastic' – as Mike said about her.

They were both too different. It was like... she disliked loud noises and Max was... loud noises.

That explanation made complete sense to Jane and it was enough to make her not want to get to know the redhead. She didn't need to go... deeper .

The girl in question was still somewhat within her vicinity as she left the gym.

Jane was going to go outside to the front and wait for the boys. She didn't know where the redhead was headed and obviously, she didn’t care enough to ask.

Lucas and Dustin had filled her in on the whole... thing from that morning.

She had figured most of it out for herself without needing their explanation, but Jane hadn't known Mike had… specifically asked the girl to not come to the cabin that day.

It didn't bother her, though and so, she hadn't given the ordeal a lot of... afterthought .

As she turned down the hallway, Jane heard Max's footsteps following not so far behind her.

It seemed like they were both walking in the same direction, so maybe Lucas and the others had resolved the issue.

It would be weird if things kept going on the way they had since the morning, would just be a lot of un-necesari drama, Jane reckoned.

It would be better to just solve it and get it out of the way, but that was just her opinion.

She distractedly gave her surroundings a fleeting glance. This one hallway was always… sort of empty, which was why she preferred using it.

She figured the same was the case with Max.

It wasn't a moment later that she heard the redhead sputter behind her, voice muffled and shoes scraping against the smooth flooring.

Jane frowned, pausing before chancing a quick glance behind her.

Except Max was nowhere to be seen.

Her frown deepened before she turned back around, still trying to figure out where the other girl had disappeared off to and... why had she made those weird noises?

She couldn't have gone anywhere far though, Jane reasoned.

Since there weren't any turns near them yet.

The sound of footsteps behind had her turning back around.

She saw the blur of a person's arm and hair as something got slung over her head, blocking her vision.

Jane felt lithe arms grab her torso, flinging her to somewhere she heard the sound of doors opening from.

Another thud and then she was basked in complete darkness.

She brought her arms up to feel her face, quickly wrenching, what she then realised was a paper bag , off of her head and breathing harshly through her mouth.

A closet, Jane realised. She was in a closet with no clue what was going on.

'Jane...?'

She startled at the sound of the voice, whirling to where it had come from, the panic and confusion she had managed to keep at bay, erupting like a wildfire in her chest.

Another harsh breath escaped her throat, her breathing now bordering on turning downright unsteady and stuttering.

'Hello?' the girl called out again, her voice subdued and mellow.

Her heart settled back down in her chest when she realised it was just Max, now understanding where the redhead had disappeared off to.

This same closet.

Jane breathed out, still unsteadily, trying not think about just how small this place was.

Max proved to be a good temporary distraction, though.

She heard the redhead moving around before something clattered to the floor, 'Is anyon—'

Against her better judgment, Jane cleared her throat and answered back, 'It's me.'

A sigh escaped the redhead as soon as she replied, loud and audible in the cramp space, almost as if she was a little relieved to hear Jane's voice.

She turned back to where she had last heard the door, bringing her hands up to feel for surface and hoping her eyes would adjust to the darkness, even if it was only a little bit.

She really needed to get out.

Sure enough, the door was there, but Jane had no idea how to open it. She pushed against the sturdy surface, hearing a small creak, but the wood didn't budge. At all.

'Are we locked in?' Max asked from behind her.

Jane nodded, only realising a whole beat later that the redhead probably couldn't see her do that.

'I think so,' she murmured, her words echoing a little in the eerily quiet closet, save for the sound of Max's breathing right behind her shoulder.

She shifted, stepping away from the door. Her foot landed on something in the way and before she could straighten up, Jane was stumbling back and— falling.

'Uh care–oomph.'

It wasn't until she had landed on her butt a little painfully that Jane realised her torso was on top of Max's legs, providing a somewhat bruising cushion for her fall.

Her hand had unknowingly fisted itself into the redhead's jacket halfway in her tumble, in an attempt to right herself and now they were both sprawled on the ground, an entangled, awkward mess of limbs.

She uncurled her hand from the girl's jacket as though she had been burned when Max's palm grazed hers.

A beat of silenced passed between the two of them before Max's voice came out, squeaky, an.. octave higher , 'Uh... can you, like –get up?'

Jane nodded again, this time too distracted to realise Max couldn't see her, digging her arm into the ground to support herself to stand up.

She heard a few items clatter once more behind her, yet again, at the courtesy of Max.

'Jesus,' the girl groaned before lifting herself off of the ground, she assumed.

And then they were back to square one, basked in utter darkness and locked in the janitor's closet.

She wondered why someone would do this to her. Them. It didn't make sense, except that Hawkins High was a hub for bullies, according to Dustin, at least.

'Jane?' Max called out.

'Huh?' she asked in reply, going back to the door and feeling for some sort of handle or lock.

They  had to get out of here.

Now that Max was no longer making a ruckus around the place, the crampiness of the space was once again at the forefront of her mind.

She felt sweat start to gather at her forehead, swiping at it with the sleeve of her plaid shirt and continuing to feel the door.

'What if you... you know, used your powers?' Max suggested.

'Against the rules,' she glared in the vague direction of the redhead's voice before the girl had even finished her sentence.

'Against the– you literally used them on me two days ago. That wasn't against the rules?' Max retorted, her voice cutting through the air with sudden fervour.

Jane fell silent as the redhead's words revertebrated around her head, frowning.

'This is such bullshit.' Max called out again, voice thick and biting as a thud rang from behind her.

And then the girl was breaking out into a rant.

Jane found it ridiculous and couldn't believe the redhead's audacity as she heard the girl pace behind her, in as little room as they had, words flying from her mouth faster than Jane's mind could absorb them.

To her, Max sounded exactly like her TV back at the canin when it would start acting up and needed a sturdy pat on the back to fix the signals.

'I can't believe—! –stuck with a telekinetic– godforsaken janitor's closet –and refusing to use her superhuman— because— against the rules. That's hypocritic —ny levels, it's not —funny. And what's even the point—'

It was the most she had ever heard Max say to her and in this... tone .

And she had had enough of it.

Jane couldn't exactly tell when she lost her temper, just that she did. She must have.

The brunette squeezed her eyes shut as she felt her temple throb, sweat now running down her forehead when the sound of doors slamming open rang out.

She gasped, feeling blood trickle from her nose and light shining on her closed lids.

'Holy... shit,' she heard Max startle, words breathy and the surprise evident in her voice.

Jane opened her eyes then, gauging the damage she had just caused.

One of the doors was hanging a little too loosely on it's hinges, but it didn't seem so bad, she noted.

She wiped her nose, staining her sleeve red.

'That was—'

She turned to the redhead, frown etched in place and eyes incredibly dark, feeling her emotions spiraling .

'Stop,' Jane interrupted tersely, voice laded with conviction and stress.

Max opened her mouth, a sarcastic retort probably on the tip of her tongue, before clenching her jaw shut, squaring Jane back with a gaze of her own, the blue in her eyes almost undetectable at that point. 

She glared back at the redhead, holding the girl's gaze for a long, tense moment. 

The silence seemed to stretch before them until Jane couldn’t stand it anymore and turned her back to the other girl, walking out of the closet. 

This time, the redhead's footsteps didn't follow behind her.

But Jane didn’t care to notice that or the set of brown eyes watching from the end of the hallway as she left. 

•••