Chapter Text
The Company had gone mad.
This was the only possible reason for the current straits in which Bilbo found himself.
After the marriage contract debacle from the se’night before, Bilbo had been swarmed with apologies from all manner of dwarrow, even Dain, Thorin’s cousin, and the whole Company had tried to make amends with him. He had, of course, brushed off their ridiculous ideas while trying not to step on any toes. Why should they apologize for things from the quest now that they knew him to be a bearer? He chose to join their company, perhaps not fully aware of the risks, but certainly aware that he could never return to Bag End. His respectability had been in tatters as he raced through the Shire to catch up with the Company near the Green Dragon. It died completely when he hopped on one of their ponies.
Bilbo had known that joining this quest meant no Hobbit would ever wish to pair with him, so any hypothetical future children had been moot until Thorin’s offer of courtship. Honestly, dwarrow overcomplicated the simplest of matters.
The jewel-encrusted pommel of a very large gavel struck the surface of the table Bilbo sat behind, jolting him from his thoughts. Dis set the formal gavel to the side and addressed the gathered Dwarrow in a calm voice, “I call to order the trial for remuneration in favor of one Bilbo Baggins, citizen and hero of Erebor, Dragon-Riddler and bearer.” Dis bowed low to her future brother-in-law, and rose to face the gathered Dwarrow once more. She was flanked by two Guild Masters, who represented some level of impartiality since, while Dís was the only one of high enough rank to pass judgement on Dain, Thorin, Fili, and Kili, she could hardly be labelled impartial.
“Those owing a debt to the bearer are called to step forward and list their offenses, so that some arrangement may be reached with the offended party. Dain, since you are the only member of this gathering not a citizen of Erebor, I will begin with you.” Dain stepped forward, his left leg clunking solidly on the stone floor with each stride. “Do you submit to the judgement of this court in this kingdom, or should you prefer a judgement in your own Hall?”
Dain bowed ow, first to Dís, then to Bilbo, before replying, “I submit, willingly, to the Hall of Erebor and her judgement for my crimes against her citizen and hero.”
Bilbo pressed his fingernails into the palms of his hands in order to keep still and silent in his seat. Dís had warned him that to speak during this portion of the ‘trial’ would only make this farce last longer. Better to have it over and done with, lost honor restored in the dwarrow fashion.
“State your offenses then, Dain Ironfoot, for the judgement of this court.” Dís’ voice was like stone, smooth and sharp and unfeeling. Bilbo trembled involuntarily.
“Upon meeting His Highness, I saw him, heavily wounded from the battle, now called for the Five Armies who shared it, and turned him away from our healing tents, as I still thought him a traitor and banished from Dwarven society.”
“Did you know him to be a bearer?”
“No, Lady Dís, I did not.”
“Mark that, scribe,” Dís intoned to her assistant, before returning her attention to her cousin. "Had you known this, would you still have turned His Highness away from the Dwarven healing tents?”
Dain’s face showed his surprised anger, though his voice stayed submissive, “He had been banished by the word of the King of Erebor for an act of high treason. I would still have turned him away, but perhaps have escorted him to the Elven tents myself.”
“Thank you, Lord Dain.” A swift hand gesture inspired her scribe to move his quill rapidly over the parchment before his face. A minute or two later, the scribe stilled his pen, refreshing its ink reservoir, before nodding to the Lady Dís. “Let the sons of the line of Ur step forward. You belong to the Broadbeam clan, and have chosen to become citizens of Erebor. We honored you for your sacrifice in aiding the reclamation of our mountain. Which of you would speak first?”
The gathered Company exchanged wary looks in silence.
Bombur pushed himself forward, “I would speak for my cousin, Bifur,” the dwarf stepped forward as his name was called. “While it may fulfill the terms of Dwarven law for Bifur to speak for himself in Khuzdul, he felt it would be better if Bilbo, His Highness, we able to understand what he said.”
“Well-thought,” Dís replied. “You may speak in your cousin’s stead.
Guttural Khuzdul resonated through the stone hall, thrumming into Bilbo’s ears through the soles of his bare feet. This was Khuzdul as it was meant to be spoken-wrapped in stone, not bared to the sky.
Bombur’s voice soon joined Bifur’s, but in clear Westron, “My cousin states that he would like to atone for these grievances to His Highness, Bilbo Baggins, Dragon-Riddler: for garnishing his dinner with the table decorations at that supper in Bag End. He would also like to apologize for neglecting to offer assistance throughout our quest up until the incident with the trolls. During that incident he claims he fought valiantly to defend the company, each member, until Bilbo’s life was threatened.”
Bifur’s Khuzdul became more agitated and hummed into the stones around them. “Bifur would like to state that he offers his regrets for not ensuring that Bilbo had an escort during the entirety of our stay in Rivendell, though he is uncertain whether this should be listed as a point of contention…” At the shake of Dís’ head, Bifur continued and after a moment, so did Bombur. “Bifur would then like to apologize for not keeping His Highness more secure on the mountain path across the Misty Mountains during the Thunder Battle. And for failing to aid in retrieving His Highness from the mountain edge when he tumbled over the side. As for goblin town and that cursed cave, my cousin simply requests forgiveness on two points: for failing to notice that our burglar had been knocked from the causeway and for not speaking up in offer to return to find Bilbo once the company had escaped the mountain safely.”
Bilbo bit his tongue, hoping his displeasure at these ‘offenses’ was not glaringly obvious. His Baggins manners wouldn’t stand for it, but this nonsense was wearing on him!
“For the remainder of the journey, his apologies include allowing Bilbo to precede our company into the home of Beorn without kenning the shape-shifter’s loyalties or intentions, not sharing more of our rations in the bleak of Mirkwood, relying so heavily on our burglar during the altercation with the spiders infesting the wood and in our subsequent imprisonment by and escape from the prison cells of the Elvenking. As regards Laketown, Bifur apologies only for not recognizing the extent of Bilbo’s exhaustion and illness until his collapse in the Hall of the Master of Laketown, may the rotter-Bifur! My apologies, my lady Dis, your highness Bilbo, that was not meant to be translated nor spoken!” At Bifur’s pronounced grumble and the nod accepting their apologies from first Bilbo and then Dis, Bifur continued his apologies and Bombur his translations.
“After our ascent of Erebor, my cousin apologizes for allowing Bilbo to enter the dragon’s lair to scout ahead. After the eviction of the calamitous Smaug from Erebor, Bifur should like to apologize for not standing in defense of our burglar upon the battlements when he was named a traitor. He would like to further apologize for not defending the Dragon-Riddler during the Battle of the Five Armies, and for failing to see to his assignment to a proper healer. These are the only things he is aware of doing wrong to Bilbo Baggins in the way of Dwarves. He requests that if he gave any offense in accordance with Hobbit custom that he be held accountable for those as well.” Bombur sighed as Bifur stopped speaking.
“Very good, My Lord Bifur, and my thanks, My Lord Bombur.” The scribe was furiously scribbling on his parchment, transcribing each point as it was addressed in court. “My Lord Bifur, were you aware of His Highness‘ status as a bearer during this time?” Bifur answered in the negative. “Mark that,” she instructed her scribe once more. “Who is next?”
Bombur remained before her as Bifur stepped to the side to join Dain. “My apologies are much the same as my cousin, except in relation to the supper in Bag End. There my apologies are not for eating the flowers on the table, but for assisting in the emptying of Master Baggins’ pantry to prepare the supper, without the permission or full knowledge of Master Baggins.”
“Very good, My Lord Bombur, and were you also unaware of Bilbo’s status as a bearer?”
“Yes, My Lady. It was revealed to me only this past week.”
“Mark that, Suri,” Dis said to her scribe in a low voice.
Kili and Fili were the next to step forward. “My Lady Dís, we come to tell you that all of Bombur’s claims are a weight we all share, but there are others we must each claim.” Fili’s voice was warm, and his gaze steady as he stared at his mother from the center of the room.
“Yes,” Kili joined, “I apologize for scuffing Bilbo’s mother’s Glory Box.”
“And I for burdening the Burglar with the full weight of my weapons in his arms upon entrance to his home. While this Dwarven custom was meant to offer respect, it overwhelmed him instead. For this, I apologize.” He bowed lo to Bilbo, who nodded at him return, honestly grateful for that the more recent apologies.
“And we must offer our apologies for sending Bilbo to steal our ponies back from the trolls, we-,” Kili’s apology was interrupted by Thorin’s cry off surprise.
“You sent him?”
Shouts similar in nature rose from each member of the company, ranging from Nori’s judgement on the honor of those who sent thieves to their deaths to Balin’s declaration he had clearly failed them as a tutor if they had honestly supposed sending a lone Hobbit into the camp of three trolls was a good idea.
“You. Did. What?” Dís enunciated slowly.
Fili and Kili froze, eyes not-quite meeting their mother’s piercing gaze. “We would like to apologize to the Dragon-Riddler for our foolish and thoughtless actions.”
Dís was practically vibrating with rage, but her voice was controlled as she asked, “Is there anything else for which you would offer apology?” Her sons shook their heads. “And were you aware that His Highness Bilbo is a bearer?”
“No, Amad.” Her right eyebrow rose superciliously. “No, my lady,” they quickly corrected their form of address.
“Mark that, Suri.” He scribe dutifully noted the interview onto the parchment before turning to face the princess and offer a nod.
“Do any of you have any claim of recognizing Bilbo’s bearer status prior to his revealing it during the Marriage Contract proceedings last week?” Firm no’s resounded from the remaining company. "Then mark that for all interviews, Suri, that this business may not last forever. I assume many of you, like Bombur have a few details to add to the testimony of Bifur. Let us then proceed with the additions to Bifur’s testimony, withdrawing his flower-eating from your testimonies. We will assume every offense he claimed will also be yours unless you specify the opposite.”
“Will this suit you?” she asked the remainder of the dwarrow who all nodded their acceptance of these terms. “Then we shall proceed. Bofur, step forward. What offenses have you given to Bilbo?”
Bofur shuffled to the front, trademark hat twisting in his nervous grip. “I share the burdens of my cousin, although I did insist that we return to goblin town to search for Bilbo, and I began the search for him when he tumbled from the pass. Otherwise, my offenses are my brother’s… I even insulted his mother’s things in his household, unknowingly.”
“Thank you, Bofur. Gloin son of Groin?”
“My offences are the same as Bombur’s, milady.”
“As are mine,” Oin added, new ear trumpet tucked into his ear.
“Mark their names, Suri. Balin? Son of Fundin?”
“The only apologies I feel I must add to Bombur’s account are that I had knowledge that Bilbo had the Arkenstone prior to his offering of it to the Elves. I was unaware of his plans for it, but I cautioned him against giving it to Thorin, committing an equally treasonous act, but I never stepped forward to neither defend Master Baggins nor seek reprisal for my advice to our burglar.” Shocked responses echoed from the walls from every dwarf except Dwalin, who only met his brother’s eyes and nodded at him in praise.
Dwain then stepped forward to share his apologies. “I must also apologize for Bombur’s share of wrongdoings, and for stealing the Hobbit’s personal supper the night we all gathered in Bag End.”
Ori, Nori, and Dori all claimed the same offenses against Bilbo as Bombur had.
Thorin stepped forward, the last to do so. “I must in turn offer the same apologies as the dwarrow who have come before me, however I have many to add to the list. So many that I am certain you will share my shock that Bilbo has even accepted my offer of courtship, my lady.”
“I have that shock already, Thorin called Oakenshield. But speak your turn.”
Thorin inclined his head to his sister before continuing, “Upon first meeting Master Baggins, I offered him insult. Then, in the time immediately following the troll encounter, I soundly berated Master Baggins for endangering the company and risking the quest. I further berated Master Baggins in Rivendell, spoke against his place in the company after heaving him up from the Cliffside and did not treat him as a full member of our company until after he defended me against Azog.”
Thorin sighed heavily, “As for my actions upon the battlements… No apology would be strong enough to atone for my treatment one who had not only laid his life on the line for me, but who had returned my ancestral home to me after facing down a dragon. I can only say that I am deeply sorry for my actions and will accept any terms of atonement Master Baggins wishes to set me.”
“Even should he rescind his acceptance of your courtship offer?” Dís challenged.
“Even that. All that he asks which I can give to him are his for the asking.” Thorin bowed his head and spread his arms wide, palms up in offering.
“Mark that, Suri. I will want to show it to him later, I’m sure. Now, Master Baggins, you have heard the apologies levied to you?”
“I have.” Bilbo’s voice was rough from his forced silence.
“And do you accept these apologies?”
“In the extent that my companions and friends feel the need to levy them, I do.”
“And what is your judgment for their atonement?”
Bilbo sighed. He knew there was some complicated Dwarven thing or other he was meant to recall, but bebother these dwarves he was ready for this whole debacle to be behind them. “As I am the wronged party, and a Hobbit, may I choose to seek atonement in accordance to Hobbit custom?”
“As you will,” Dís acquiesced.
“Then, my friends, you have my forgiveness. I would not have demanded these apologies of you, bearer or not. Let us put these grievances behind us and continue as stronger friends.”
“Just like that?” Bofur blurted.
Bilbo smiled at his friend before his eyes found those of the bewildered King he was soon to wed. “Just like that.”
Bilbo nodded at Dís and stepped down from the dais to approach his friends. He embraced each of them in a hug, even going so far as to instigate a gentler rendition of the Dwarven head-butting custom until he found himself standing before Thorin. “I wish to speak to you concerning our betrothal, Thorin.”
Thorin’s eyes were wide and his swiftly-growing beard did nothing to hide the bobbing of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed. He braced his shoulders and stared dumbly at Bilbo.
“Do you have any desire to abort our courtship?” Bilbo queried through a furrowed brow.
“No! I… No, Bilbo, never. You are my One! If you are willing to have me, I would do nothing to leave you.”
“Good. Because I have decided to keep you. Terrible business looking for another grumpy King Under a Mountain. Much too lazy to go about it. Besides, I rescinded my home to help you recover yours, and then I followed you across the length of Middle Earth because of that dratted song you sang in my parlor. No, Thorin Oakenshield, you won’t be rid of me so easily.”
Bilbo stretched onto his toes and wrapped his arms around Thorin’s shoulders and pressed his forehead to Thorin’s holding it there for several moments until their peace was interrupted by an irate Dís, “What do you mean you ‘rescinded’ your home, Hobbit?”