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Chapter Text

As a rule, people tend to paint a very romanticized description of Ascension. Hua Cheng has seen countless drawings and paintings depicting the chosen man of the day, surrounded by an halo of light and gently floating towards heaven. He has read poems speaking of 'fluttering wings' or 'blessed warmth', and his favorite: 'as soft as the caresses of ten virgins'. It might be the loveliest inaccuracy Hua Cheng has ever heard in his entire life. Stupid, but lovely, as only poetry can be.

The misconception is understandable, of course. Ascension is a sacred journey, the ultimate goal of mankind, obviously they're not going to portray it as the messy and painful nightmare it actually is. Ascension does not elevate, does not take gently, doesn't even bother to ask for consent. Ascension burns and bruises. Ascension grabs your soul like the bosom of a whore and throws it upstairs without a care until you crash on the rooftop of the nearest holy palace. Hua Cheng would know, he's been through the process not only once, but thrice, a record in human history.

Perhaps it's not Ascension itself that's painful. Just Hua Cheng's unwelcomed Ascensions, proof that the Heavens hate him as much as he hates the Heavens. He never asked anyone else. It would be rude, like inquiring on people's birthing. Not that Hua Cheng would mind, it's exactly the kind of embarrassing question he delights in throwing around. He absolutely loves purposely creating awkwardness wherever he goes. It's a talent.

"Ow," Hua Cheng grunts as he raises from the pile of rubble he accidently made when he crashed into the rooftop. Gold, of course, because holy palaces cannot be made of tile like normal houses. "That fucking hurt. Would it kill you to give a guy a warning next time?"

He speaks out loud out of habit, hardly expecting an answer from the Heavens. It never gave one before, and it's not going to start now. He raises on his feet, checking his surroundings as he casually dusts his cheap red robes. There is golden dust inside his sleeve and underneath his collar. Fucking Heaven Officials and their fucking fancy golden roof. Fucking Heaven. Fucking Ascension.

This is the worst. Hua Cheng genuinely thought he made enough of a ruckus last time he would never ever be called to serve upstairs again, yet here he is. What does a guy have to do to be left alone for good?

"What's going on? Another Ascension? We weren't told about a new Official!" Hua Cheng hears the familiar sounds of a paperwork Official losing his shit because Something is not going according to the Plan. And those people are meant to be the top quality of humankind. Pathetic.

"Oh no. It's Hua Cheng. PRINCE HUA CHENG HAS ASCENDED AGAIN!"

"WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS? RUN, EVERYONE, RUN!"

Are they still afraid of him? After what, 700 hundred years? And he was only there for three days on his first ascension, and ten minutes on his second. How cute. Hua Cheng is very flattered to know his rep hasn't suffered during his prolonged absence. It honestly warms his non-existent heart that his old colleagues still think of him fondly.

Since they expect so much of him, he better makes his return a good show. He would hate to disappoint his public after all.

"I'm back, bitches," he grins ominously as he steps out of the palace he wrecked during his spectacular ascension. "Did you guys miss me?"

"WE DID NOT!"

"Don't argue, just RUN!"

"That hurts my feelings!" he cheerfully says as the two middle heaven officials disappear inside the nearest palace, begging for shelter.

Oh well. Some crowds are just too hard to please. Hua Cheng's ego can afford the blow. It has lived through worse. And look, other people are rushing his way already. Let it not be said Hua Cheng does not know how to make a dramatic entrance.

"YOU!" An official he knows he has seen before, but can't be bothered to remember the name of, points at Hua Cheng, his face red with anger. "WHY ARE YOU BACK?"

Hua Cheng shrugs. "No idea. Nobody asked for my opinion on the matter before sending me back up, as usual." Then, out of nowhere, he has an epiphany. "Hey, didn't I break your kneecaps last time?"

"YOU DID!"

"Eh. Fun times. Clearly, I did a sloppy job if you can still walk." He tuts disapprovingly to himself, to the indignation and growing fear of his audience.

"Your Highness," a calm and familiar voice rises above the ambient panic. "As diplomatic as ever, I see."

"Jian Lan!" The crowd split to let her pass as if she were Jun Wu himself, miraculously appeared to protect them from the vile, terrifying God of Revenge and Misfortune crashing into their boring routine to wreck their golden castle and break their poor kneecaps.

Considering Jian Lan might be the only person with a shred of competence present, it's not surprising they would rely on her to save them from The Situation. No one wants another incident like the last time Prince Hua Cheng ascended.

"You know me, I live to serve." He smiles at his old friend. Despite his sarcastic tone, Hua Cheng is genuinely pleased to see her. It's been a while, and last visit did not end well. She looks good, if anything, thoroughly exhausted. As expected from the head of the literacy gods and only functional braincell unit in the Heavens.

Jian Lan slowly blinks while her esteemed colleagues run in panic like headless chickens when Hua Cheng suggestively cracks his knuckles. "Why are you like this."

Trauma, probably. Grief. Hundreds of years of loneliness. Hatred at the world, at heaven, at everyone who stood there while his beloved was taken away from him. Hatred at himself. Whatever the mental affliction, you name it, Hua Cheng has and had it at some point of his long, miserable existence.

"Hey, don't look at me, I didn't ask for this shit." He jumps down from the window he was sitting by, into the courtyard. "Here I was, not bothering anyone, minding my own business, and next thing I know, I'm thrown back among you pretentious dickheads. I don't like it any more than you do."

She sighs. "Everyone, please go. I'll escort His Highness to his quarters."

Quarters? He has one of those? Heaven sure works fast. Or perhaps they never destroyed his palace. No matter. It wasn't like Hua Cheng planed to stick around in any case. Nonetheless, he allows Jian Lan to slip an arm under his and firmly drag him out of the courtyard, under the wary eyes of his 'colleagues'. He makes a point to wave at them before they turn sideways.

"Did you know about this?" Hua Cheng asks once they are out of earshot, gesturing at himself for emphasis.

"Not exactly," she says, carefully, her hand curled around his forearm like a gentle shackle of flesh and bone. The tip of her fingers feel as callous as before. The hands of a servant. The hands of a writer. "But I suspected."

"You're a big shot now, Jian Lan," he muses out loud. "Who would have thought?"

From street prostitute to royal servant to head honcho of heavenly administration. Jian Lan sure had one hell of a career. Not like those fuckers born with a silver spoon in the mouth.

"You did," she says. "You believed in me."

He hums in vague agreement. Hua Cheng has little merit in that. Back then, he only had Jian Lan, and Xie Lian. And now, he has no one but guilt and shame. Those are his closest companions, they have never abandoned him in 800 years, not even once.

Ugh. This place, honestly. It's been literal centuries since Hua Cheng last set foot in Heaven, yet it looks exactly the same. Oh, the buildings are slightly different, and he doesn't recognize the officials who run the other way once they catch sight of the infamous mad prince, but nothing has changed, really. Different faces, different facades, same affected noblesse, same greedy, narrow minds. Same air, stinking of hypocrisy and selfishness. Hua Cheng hates it, all of it. If he could burn it all to the ground, he would, without a single second of hesitation.

In a way, Hua Cheng is glad Xie Lian never had a chance to ascend. This place would have eaten his good heart away and drained his kindness until he dropped dead.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you," he adds after a minute of contemplative silence. "But you do realize I'm not here to stay, right?"

There was a time where Jian Lan's face was the easiest book to read for Hua Cheng. After living in complete isolation for his entire childhood, he found most people confusing and incomprehensible, but his servant meant what she said, and said what she meant. It was a relief.

But that was when she was still Lan Chang. Now she is Jian Lan, Heaven's Official and Very Important Person Upstairs. Ironically, now that Hua Cheng has grown to be quite adept at reading others after centuries of travelling around, his old friend became so mysterious to him.

"Your Highness," she eventually says. "It's been so long. Don't you think it's time to stop acting like a child?"

Hua Cheng stops in the middle of the street. He looks down at himself, at his messy red robes, at his worn out boots, at Ruoye wrapped around his forearm, shivering with unease against his skin, at the shackle strangling his neck and restricting his powers. An old, rotten, exhausted soul, trapped in the body of a fifteen year old fool.

He has the power to alter his appearance now, he realizes belatedly. It comes with the territory of having his godhood returned to him. The idea annoys him more than anything else. Hua Cheng has spent the last centuries committing to his careless youth aesthetic after all. It's his brand, as much as the red he always wears and the eyepatch covering his empty socket.

"Is that what you think of me, Jian Lan?" Hua Cheng says, sounding deceptively calm. "A child throwing a tantrum?"

Jian Lan bites her bottom lip, very much aware she's walking on dangerous ground right now. So she still has that nervous habit? That's funny. "Officials aren't evil, Your Highness."

"I never said they were," he smiles coldly. "They are no more evil than any other people, that's the point. It's the hypocrisy I hate. They pretend they are better than anyone else, safe and pampered in their golden palaces, making fun of the poor folk doing their best down there, while they depend on the faith of those 'dirty' people."

Just like entitled nobles, all of them, but on a celestial scale, full of their own importance. Officials aren't chosen because they are exceptionally good, or exceptional at all. They just happened to do something noteworthy once in their life, and lucky enough to be born with a good fate due to no merit of their own. No matter what they think, Officials are not better than anyone else.

Hypocrites.

Jian Lan blinks. She didn't expect that answer. In many ways, she does still think of him as the child she helped raise. "...Perhaps that's why we need you, Your Highness. If you don't like how things are here, then try to change it."

He snorts. "I never said I wanted to. They can all rot for all I care. Not you though, but I trust you'll always manage to keep your head afloat."

"I can't tell if that's a compliment or not," Jian Lan shakes her head. "Your Highness. I don't think you're wrong, but you're not right either. Please try, at least? Get to know those people you hate so much. That's what Xie Li..."

Ruoye jumps forward, the red silk wrapping itself around Jian Lan's neck. She stands still, a spark of fear flashing through her eyes, quickly hidden under her usual mask of perfect self-control.

"Don't use his name against me ever again. Don't believe for a second I won't kill you because we used to be friends. Do you understand?"

Another might have taken the threat lightly. In terms of spiritual powers, Jian Lan is so far ahead compared to Hua Cheng it's ridiculous. But Jian Lan is no other. She knows what he's capable of. She knows how far he's ready to go for the sake of Xie Lian's memory. She knows he won't hesitate.

She nods once. Hua Cheng wordlessly called back Ruoye to him.

"Please accept my apologies. I spoke without thinking. It won't happen again." She bows down, her voice hoarse. "However, I must beg Your Highness to at least consider it."

"And what do you want me to do?" he says, playing idlesly with Ruoye. "Play nice with people who hate me, and that I hate just as much? I fail to see the point. We all know I'll get casted out sooner than later."

"If I may make a suggestion," Jian Lan carefully explains. "There has been trouble in the North recently. Brides disappearing on their way to the wedding, never to be seen again. Solving this problem might improve His Highness'...reputation."

Oh? An interesting approach. Hua Cheng has to admit he's a bit curious. It's not like he has anything to lose in any case. But still. "What am I, your pet detective?"

"I would never dare to presume such a thing." Jian Lan tilts her head innocently. "However, I believe His Highness is quite experimented in that sort of mystery."

...she's not wrong. Hua Cheng is constantly travelling, only settling in one place for a few months at most, the time to build an appropriate shrine for his god, before he hits the road again. Inevitably, he ends up stumbling upon some suspicious deaths and other nonsenses.

Hua Cheng thinks of himself as a fairly easy person to understand. Most of his actions are driven by one rule: What Would Gege Do? The answer is, obviously, help the common people. And so Hua Cheng tries. Not because he cares, frankly, he hates practically everyone, but because that's what Xie Lian would want.

"Oh, fine. Because it's you Jian Lan. I'll look into it. And I'll make an effort not to antagonize the dickheads," he sighs. "Don't expect too much from me."

Jian Lan smiles brightly. It's the exact same smile she had when she managed to recognize a new character, back when Hua Cheng taught her to read. It hurts to see that smile again, but it's not a fully painful kind of hurt. More of an aching, nostalgic kind of hurt.

He claps his hands together with fake enthusiasm. Repress, repress, repress.

"Before I leave, there is something I want to do…Where is the communication array? I have to greet my new pals properly!"

"Your Highness, please."

.
.

"...DAMNED PSYCHO IS BACK, I'M NOT JOKING. THIS IS NOT A DRILL!"

"I can't believe he ascended again. How the heck did that happen?"

"One hundred merits he'll be kicked out in less than a week."

"Two hundreds he won't last three days."

"Three hundreds he's going to break Mo Xuan's kneecaps again."

"HEY. I HEARD THAT. HE CAN COME AT ME ANY TIME!"

"Don't lie, I can see you shaking in your boots, haha! Three hundreds merits His Highness will last at least a month. I have a good feeling this time."

"No way. You're only saying that because you've never met him in person."

"Aw, it's like you don't have faith in me at all! I'm offended. I bet I won't last one day. Oh, I forgot I have no merits to bet. Nevermind then."

"..."

"..."

"YOUR HIGHNESS?"

"You'll have to be more specific, about 30% of the local population answer to that title."

"Errr, Prince Hua Cheng, we meant no offence…"

"No? Funny that, it really looked like you did from my perspective, but what do I know."

"..."

"Haha, don't sound so scared, I'm not going to break your kneecaps...Oh. Wait."

"...!"

"Anyway, I'm off for now, don't do anything I wouldn't do kids."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A KID?"

.

Here's what Hua Cheng loves about houses of pleasure: they serve decent tea at any hour of the day and night, there is always someone pretty to look at and they know everything about everyone. There are no better places to get the intel he needs to solve this clusterfuck.

Also, there is also the fact most Heaven Officials wouldn't be caught dead in such a sin den. Any Official Free Zone is good enough for Hua Cheng. Unfortunately, the method is not entirely flawless.

"Your Highness," Mu Qing deadpans as he makes his way inside the whorehouse, pointedly ignoring the calls and whistles of the prostitutes. "What are you doing here?"

Hua Cheng groans behind his cup of tea, exasperated at the interruption. What is he doing here? And under such a shitty disguise? Now, that's just insulting. Who does he thinks Hua Cheng is, blind, deaf and brain dead? He would recognize that eye roll anywhere.

"Your Highness?" The night lady he had been extracting information from repeats, bemused.

"It's a family joke," Hua Cheng laughs it off. "Don't mind him, he's not here to stay."

Mu Qing arches an eyebrow as if to say 'is that so?'. Yeah, it is so. It is very much so. Hua Cheng did agree to make an effort and play nice, but he has no time to lose babysitting those two idiots.

"DON'T...DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!" A man that can only be Feng Xin shrieks, trying to escape the crowd of loosely dressed women giggling and poking at him.

"Aww, gege, don't be like that!"

"Play with us, pretty boy, you won't regret it."

"Wow, Mister has some nice muscles under those robes. Sure you don't want to remove them? It can't be very comfortable…"

"DO NOT TOUCH ME! WHA-WHAT ARE YOU DOING AHHHH!"

Hua Cheng can't believe Feng Xin is still terrified of women, after all this time. He's 800 years old. This is just sad. "You're not going to help your bro?" He asks to Mu Qing as he leans against the back of his seat and watches the pitiful spectacle of a mighty Upper Heaven Official and South General be thoroughly defeated by an army of five frail women.

Predictably, Mu Qing rolls his eyes. "Who's bro? I have never seen this man in my life."

"FUCK YOU MU Q-FU YAO!"

Hua Cheng takes a sip of his tea and speaks up out of the goodness of his cold dead heart. "Excuse me, Misses, would you mind releasing my brother? He's very sensitive. The white lotus soul of the family."

"WHO'S A GODDAMN WHITE LOTUS YOU BRAT?"

"Oh, A-Cheng, you should have said so!" The leader of the improvised assault team laughs, pats Feng Xin's shoulder as she adjusts his robes with professional efficiency and manhandles him towards Hua Cheng's table. "There you go. Sorry, White Lotus. You're safe now."

"Your Highness," Feng Xin hisses, still red-faced and looking as if he narrowly avoided sexual assault. "What are you doing in this kind of place?"

"Sorry, miss, would you mind…" Hua Cheng smiles apologetically to the woman sitting next to him. She giggles at Feng Xin before standing up and disappearing upstairs. "What do you think I'm doing in a brothel, Feng Xin?"

"I'm not General Feng Xin!" The man who's clearly General Feng Xin spurts. "My name is Nan Feng, and he's Fu Yao, we're Middle Heaven Officials sent to assist you."

"Yeah, whatever," Hua Cheng waves his hand dismissively. "Well, I don't need your help if you can't even figure out why I'm here, Nan Feng."

Definitely Not Mu Quing cuts in before Totally Not Feng Xin can explode of frustration. "You're getting information about the bridegroom."

"No, I just want to get laid. Of fucking course I'm investigating. Not everyone rushes in blindly and hopes for the best."

Definitely Not Mu Qing smirks, assuming the barb is directed at Totally Not Feng Xin and not himself. Whatever helps him sleep at night. "That's surprisingly wise of you, Your Highness."

Naturally. Mu Qing doesn't know shit about the person Hua Cheng is, despite what he liked to tell himself.

"I do not rush in blindly! I'm not Quan Yi Zhen!" Totally Not Feng Xin says indignantly, before he remembers where he is and takes upon himself to calm the hell down. "Anyway. Your Highness. Please let us assist you in your quest. We won't burden you."

As if. He sighs, already done with everything. This is exactly why he shouldn't listen to Jian Lan. "I suppose you won't scram even if I tell you to and I don't have time to lose beating your ass until you get the message. Don't get in my way."

The two men valiantly bite back their pride and nod.

"Oh, and by the way, if someone is going to be the bride, that someone is going to be me. Just warning you in advance before the problem arises."

"The...bride?" Totally Not Feng Xin repeats dumbly while Definitely Not Mu Qing turns worryingly pale.

Yeah, the bride, of course a bride. They're tracking a bridegroom, how else are they going to find the kidnapper, randomly trek in the mountain until they stumble upon their lair by the grace of god? It's like those guys have never read a single fiction in their lives. Obviously they need a bait. A bait who'll get to wear fancy wedding red robes and relax in a sedan while other people do the hard work. It's not like the two idiots could do the job in any case. Hua Cheng has to do everything himself.

"Don't worry your pretty head about it," Hua Cheng pats Totally Not Feng Xin's cheek before he speaks up louder. "So, who here wants to put makeup on my face for my wedding?"

At least seven women pounced on him, squealing hysterically about his flawless skin and smooth hair and oh, A-Cheng is going to be the prettiest wife ever, just trust Big Sis. Totally Not Feng Xin's makes a tactical retreat to the nearest corner, whimpering about terrifying women and their female viles while Definitely Not Mu Qing pretends to be an untouchable statue, unbothered by petty human concerns.

It's a pretty good evening, if he may say so himself.

.

.

The hand slips between the red silken curtains of the sedan. Hua Cheng stares at the white bandages covering the offered arm, carefully pondering about the right course to take. Instead of trying to grab him forcefully, the hand patiently waits for his decision.

Hua Cheng takes it.

.

Here's what Hua Cheng learns from this whole bridegroom fiasco.

   1. Some people need to chill. For instance, Xian Ju. Burning temples and kidnapping innocent brides out of pure pettiness won't get her her man, especially not a pig whore like Pei Ming. Hua Cheng would know, with his 800 years of experience at pinning after a dead man, he considers himself an expert in the art of not getting his man. Also, breaking her own legs? That just screams desperate, hahaha.

"Didn't you gouge your own eye out?" Definitely Not Mu Qing mumbles, trying so hard not roll his eyes it looks painful. "You don't have much room to judge people for being desperate."

Hua Cheng smiles, his one eye left curling with amusement. "As I said. An expert."

   2. The world would be a better place if someone took one for the team and cut Pei Ming's dick off.

"Your Highness," General Pei Yue, aforementioned Pei Ming's grand grand grand daughter and one of the few women in the world the general of the north can see as more than a walking vagina, pinches the bridge of her nose. "I beg you, please do not mention my ancestor's genitals in my presence ever again."

"Granted," Hua Cheng generously allows. "It's not like it's a favored topic of mine in the first place."

"There is not much to tell anyway," Xian Ju snickers meanly, which, fair.

   3. Hua Cheng is excellent wife material. This is fact. He's insanely pretty and will stay young forever, he can cook better than anyone else in the Heavens, wash dishes in record time, stitch, sew, and stab a man to death thirty times without getting tired. Also, red is his color, he just looks stunning in his bride dress. Even the elusive supreme White Sword agreed, if that's not proof, he doesn't know what is.

"WHAT?"

"Your Highness," Jian Lan urgently asks, her voice struggling to be heard above the ambient's chaos his declaration woke in his party and through the array. "You don't mean White Sword Whispering Death, do you?"

"Sure I do," he says, gesturing at the ground lazily. "What, you thought those cuties sprouted on their own?"

Everyone look down at the innocent looking white flowers covering the field with horrified realization. To be fair, Hua Cheng was the first to reach the temple, so they couldn't have known there used to be a green field devoid of flowers. One of the members of General Pei Yue's party wails when the flower at his feet giggle and wave a petal in greeting.

"We need to get away from here," Feng Xin declares grimly, grabbing Hua Cheng's arm. "I have seen what those flowers can do."

Hua Cheng shrugs off his hand, resisting the urge to snarl at the intrusion. He doesn't like to be touched unexpectedly, and Feng Xin knows it. The general winces at the rejection and shakes his head in silent apology.

"Everyone has," General Pei Yue says, sounding more curious than afraid. "Spirit Flowers can destroy an army in less than a minute, if White Sword decides to do so."

They can, and they have. Soldiers, messagers, spies, weapons of mass destruction, the spirit flowers are the object of many of Heaven Officials' nightmares. Even knowing this, Hua Cheng can't help but think they are too cute to be so scared of. Ruoye, snuck tightly around Hua Cheng's hips, doesn't seem very worried, therefore he isn't either. It says a lot about how much he trusts Heaven's officials that he puts the judgement of an enchanted piece of clothing above theirs.

"What, those pretty ladies?" he coos as he leans down to pet the petals of the nearest flower. "Beautiful and efficient, my my! Wanna get hitched? My groom left me at the altar. I'm still lowkey hurt by that, between you and I. I thought we had something."

He half expects the flower to bite him for daring to touch it. People have lost their hands for less than that, or so the rumors claim. Instead, the flower curls around his finger, shivering in pleasure, and the snow white petals turn bright red.

...Uh. Not what he had in mind, but okay. He did offer marriage after all. What kind of man would he be if he refused to take responsibility? General Pei Ming?

"Don't touch it, you fool!" Mu Qing hisses, walking decidedly toward Hua Cheng like the mighty warrior he genuinely thinks he is. "Are you completely insa…"

The pretty flower suddenly turn its head in direction of the intruder and honest to god roars. Mu Qing is so surprised he stumbles backward, and would have fallen on his ass like a damsel in distress if not for Fen Xin heroically catching him in his arms. It might or might not be the highlight of Hua Cheng's decade.

"I think that's the plant equivalent of 'back off bitch'," he deadpans, trying his best not to burst out laughing at the pure indignation on Mu Qing and Feng Xin's face. The later looks so embarrassed by the whole ordeal he almost drops Mu Qing on the floor. "Sorry, but I'm a taken man now. It would have never worked out between us anyway."

"STOP JOKING AROUND AND GET AWAY FROM THOSE MONSTERS!"

"Your Highness," Jian Lan says, ever the voice of wisdom in an ocean of chaos and rampant stupidity. "Why was White Sword here?"

Good question. Hua Cheng had absolutely no idea. "Unfortunately, our local demon king didn't deem me worthy of an explanation for his august presence. For all I know, he could have just been passing by and decided to kidnap me on a whim."

"HE WHAT?"

"KIDNAPPED HIS HIGHNESS?"

"WHAT FOR?" So rude. Hua Cheng is very kidnappable, thank you very much.

The flower climbs over his leg insistently, clearly asking for his attention. Hua Cheng absent-mindedly pets its petals. Five of its companions decide to do the same. How touche-starved are those poor plants? It's truly a tragedy Hua Cheng only has two hands.

"Kidnapping might be a bit too strong of a word," Hua Cheng admits, recalling the odd event. "He invited me out of the sedan, escorted me to the temple and destroyed the array as if it was no big deal. Don't look at me like that, it was very proper. My virtue is still intact."

"NOT THE POINT!"

"AS IF WE WERE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR NON-EXISTENT VIRTUE?"

"And then?" Jian Lan interrupts her colleagues' hysterical screaming.

Hua Cheng shrugs indifferently. "And then I removed my veil and he exploded into petals. I can only assume my beauty was so overwhelming he couldn't handle it. It happens sometimes."

No, it doesn't. Hua Cheng knows he's not ugly to look at, but he's hardly beautiful enough his face would be enough to defeat a supreme. He's not that delusional yet. Jingji Guan, White Sword Whispering Death and feared Lord of Ghost City, was there because he wanted to. He held Hua Cheng's hand gently, soothingly, lovingly, as if Hua Cheng was made of precious glass instead of an universally loathed god, rejected by Heaven and humankind alike, because he wanted to. And he left without making a fuss because he wanted to. For what purpose, Hua Cheng has no clue and he's not going to question a supreme.

He remembers flashes of white cloth from under his veil, the flowers sprouting under his feet, the bandaged hand patiently guiding his steps, and wonders how come the presence of a ghost felt warmer than his so-called peers.

"Anyway," Hua Cheng says, ignoring the anguish throbbing in his throat. Not the right moment. It's never the right moment. "I don't think he had bad intentions, and he's long gone by now. You got your ghost bridegroom, you guys should go now."

The other Heaven Officials plus Xian Ju, who really should have tried to make use of their distraction to escape, glare at the flowers squealing adoringly for Hua Cheng's attention. Ah. Well. It must be quite a shock for them to have Hua Cheng be the most appreciated person in the room for once.

"And what, leave you with those things?" Mu Qing snorts.

"Hmm, Your Highness… Please take a step back…" General Pei Yue calmly suggests, her hand reaching out for her sword.

Oh, she was ready to fight an army of notoriously deadly plants for his sake? That's flattering, especially considering they have never met in person before. Or maybe it's precisely because they have never met before she's willing to go so far. People who actually know Hua Cheng quickly learn to bail out of his life and abandon him to his own devices to preserve their own sanity. Which is fine. He likes it better that way.

"I believe that won't be necessary," Hua Cheng ignores them to address the flowers directly. "My apologies for the rudeness, my lovely ladies, but I'm afraid I cannot stay."

"...So you can be polite? I wondered." Feng Xin says, honestly surprised.

"Of course. I just don't bother with you people."

The red flowers still. Make a sound close to an aching sigh. And wilt.

All the flowers in the field dry and turn into dust in a second. Well. That worked. Hua Cheng didn't expect his half-assed request to be so efficient. It's sad to admit but he's not used to be actually listened to. And he kind of misses the flowers now. His social life has never been thriving but that's a new low.

"What happened?" Jian Lan asks through the array.

"The...flowers killed themselves?" General Pei Yue tries to describe what just happened, understandably confused by the mass suicide Hua Cheng accidentally triggered. "I have no other explanation."

Neither does Hua Cheng. What the fuck.

Hua Cheng grins and winks at her, as if he's not affected at all and demon flowers obeying his every words is a daily occurence. "I guess they couldn't handle the rejection. Are we going to stand there all day or what?"

After a moment of reflection, General Pei Yue decides she doesn't care anymore about this shit and grabs Xian Ju's arms. A woman after Hua Cheng's heart. He too loves to pretend what he doesn't want to think about isn't happening. Might as well be his life motto.

Hua Cheng, former prince, reluctant god and wandering priest, going his merry and occasionally gory way in life and pretending Everything Is Just Fine.

.

"So," Jian Lan flatly declares, her fingers sporadically tapping against the desk. "White Sword Whispering Death, hm? I had no idea you two were pals, Your Highness."

"Because we're not. I have never seen him in my life before," Hua Cheng frowns at the blank form waiting for his input in front of him. "You never mentioned paperwork, Jian Lan. I feel betrayed."

"In my defence, who else is going to write the report?" Jian Lan says. "General Pei Yue missed two third of the events, General Mu Qing tends to omit important 'details' and General Feng Xin...well, he tries his best. You're my best option, your highness. I appreciate your efforts."

Hua Cheng can't help but preen innerly at the underhanded compliment, like the child starving for approval and parental validation he used to be. Pathetic. And here he thought that fool died centuries ago.

"Whatever," he mumbles, avoiding her knowing smile. "It's tough being surrounded by losers."

She hums along, her dark eyes glistening with amusement. "Not all are losers, though."

...Maybe. Mu Qing did help in his own way, and as she said, Feng Xin 'tried his best'. That General Pei Yue wasn't too bad either, at first glance, despite her regrettable ascendance. And it had been kind of fun, not to be alone for once. Not enough for him to change his mind about the Heavens, but not as terrible as he assumed it would be.

Uh. What a revelation.

"I see your penmanship hasn't improved," Jian Lan takes a glance at his report. "I'm pretty sure only I will be able to read it."

Hua Cheng smiles sweetly. "If you're not happy, you can write it yourself."

"I am overjoyed, Your Highness," Jian Lan smoothly backpedals.

They work in silence for about an hour, occasionally interrupted by Jian Lan's ducklings requiring her input or bringing more tea. It's cute how they tiptoe around Jian Lan like she's Jun Wu in person, and defer to her opinion in all things, from flower arrangement to military formations.

"Alright." Hua Cheng declares as he puts down his pen. "Say what you want to say."

Jian Lan looks like she wants play dumb, but promptly switches strategy. Smart choice. "I am...concerned about the interest White Sword Whispering Death seems to have for you, Your Highness."

Ah. Understandable. A supreme like him is no small matter indeed. Hua Cheng isn't worried exactly, but he's quite curious. He rarely worries for this own life, and he honestly didn't feel like the demon king meant to hurt him. Far from it, really.

"I wonder if we're married now," Hua Cheng muses out loud. "He did lead me out of the sedan after all."

Jian Lan shudders, horrified at the prospect. "Please don't even joke about that. Your Highness, you must be careful, Jingji Guan is extremely dangerous. You remember what happened after he first emerged from Mount Tong Lu?"

"Naturally."

There isn't a single Heaven Official who could forget about Jingji Guan's first action as a supreme. In one day, the newly made demon king tracked down thirty-three different officials, one by one, breaking inside their own palace as if it was nothing, and offered them a 'deal'. Either they abandoned their godhood and descended as mere mortals until they earnt back their immortality, or they would die. None accepted to do so, and fought the demon king. All were defeated, and left alive with a single cut on the cheek.

After his apparently random stunt, the demon king went back to his realm. Most assumed he was merely trying to intimidate them, not that it worked, hahaha. The targeted officials laughed a lot about the encounter, until they didn't. After two days of unease, they all started hearing voices. Taunting whispers, chilling whispers, gently threatening whispers.

Whispers of death.

Slowly they fell into madness, without anyone being able to help them. After the first week, they started trying to kill themselves. However, being immortals, they couldn't die, no matter how many times they attempted suicide. Eventually, they all descended and died after one month roaming among mortals.

And so a name and a legend was born, clouded in fear and terror: White Sword Whispering Death.

"Your Highness. You must be careful. Who knows what he wants this time?"

"I'm always careful," Hua Cheng boldly lies.

If Jingji Guan wants a minor god like Hua Cheng dead, for some mysterious reason, there isn't much he can do about it. It's one thing to terrorize Heaven Officials, who think of him as some sort of annoying boogeyman, but the demon king is on another scale algother.

Meh. Hua Cheng will have to improvise, as he always does.

Chapter Text

The story goes like this: centuries ago, in a country long gone, a boy was born with his body in the abyss and his heart in Heaven. His family was very poor and lived in the worst kind of slums, surrounded by miserable people as hungry and bitter as themselves. Despite the lack of exposure to basic human decency in his childhood, the boy had a heart of gold, always willing to make other people pass before him, always willing to give more than he received, always wishing to help. He had a kind smile for everyone, even the worst scum on Earth.

One day, the boy saved a wretched beast from a certain death. The boy had heard of the beast, of course, had been warned many a time not to approach it if he didn't want to get cursed. See, the beast caused misfortune to everyone who touched it, truly the most terrible kind of creature, released on this earth for the sole purpose to inflict misery to innocent people. Everyone hated the beast, understandably, and the beast hated them back. It was expected that eventually, either the people would destroy the beast, or the beast would destroy them.

Yet, the boy chose to save its pathetic, worthless life nonetheless. And so the beast got a taste of something he should never have had: kindness. Naturally, due to his greedy and selfish nature, the beast wanted more, more, always more. The boy, being compassionate to all things, even broken, lost and wretched creatures, allowed the beast to stay by his side, nurturing it, teaching it the ways of men, feeding its cold heart with his own warmth.

Eventually, what was meant to happen happened: people came for the beast's head after a great tragedy fell on their kingdom. All tragedies, small and big, were obviously the beast's fault, and this time, they decided enough was enough. They demanded for the boy to let go, to abandon the beast to its fate. The boy refused. Even after his friends and family begged him to stand aside, he wouldn't move, shielding the beast with his own body.

"The beast isn't any more cursed than you and I," the boy claimed. "I will not forsake it. I vowed I would save everyone I could, and I will, or I shall die trying."

The good folk of the kingdom looked at each other, bemused by such nonsensical words, and promptly decided that if the boy wanted to, then he could die with the beast. They attacked, and the boy, though a skilled swordsman and a powerful cultivator, hadn't thought his own people would strike him down, and was defenseless. And so the beast, in a single act of selflessness, took the hit in the boy's stead. It died in the boy's arms, and the gods, touched by the boy's grief and the beast's courage, made a god out of him.

And that's how a boy born in the abyss ascended to become the god of lost people and broken things, protector of pariah and collectors of scraps no one else wants.

"Uh," his one-teen audience says at the end of the tale. "That's not how Grandpa used to tell us the story of Lord Xie Lian."

Hua Cheng laughs. That's not the first time he heard that sentence. "No? Tell me more, I'm very curious."

"Well, in Grandpa's version, Lord Xie Lian had a giant flaming sword! And the beast was errr… I'm not sure I should say."

Sounds juicy. Hua Cheng playfully nudges the youth's side. "Come on, you can't leave me like this!"

"...A very seductive woman, lips red like ripe cherry and hips wide enough for… I really can't!" the boy confesses, mortified. "Pardon us, Mister Priest, he meant not offence to you or Lord Xie Lian…"

"Haha, of course the old man didn't." Hua Cheng waves off the boy's concern. "No one is offended, don't worry."

It's not like his version of the story is perfectly accurate either. He took a lot of poetic licence, and erased the real ending algother. In the actual story, the boy died trying to protect what didn't deserve to be protected, and the beast, regrettably, did not.

"Mister Priest is too kind." The teen smiles nervously. "Grandpa knew you come back eventually. 'Mark my words, A-Zhen, one day, the red priest will stumble back in our small village, that's why we must keep the Xie Lian Shrine in good condition. You can't miss him, he looks like a tall gangly teen, all limbs and no meat on his bones, always wearing red, a single earpiece and with an eyepatch on his right eye.' Uh, no offence?"

"Still not offended. It's a very realistic description." Hua Cheng shrugs, amused by the portrayal of his laid back persona. "And now, here I am."

"En."

A-Zhen's Grandpa had more faith in Hua Cheng than Hua he deserved. Truthfully, he had quite forgotten this small mountain village. He must have lived there what, seventy, eighty years ago? Now that A-Zhen reminded him, he vaguely remembered staying here for about a year, an unusually long period for him, before hitting the road again, leaving the shrine he built in the care of the villagers. His usual mod-operenti, he had done the same with hundreds of other villages like this one before. Most of the time, the shrines didn't last long. Humans had short memories, after all, and shorter attention spans. As long as they didn't actively desecrate his statues, he could deal. The stories stayed though, or at least, the backbone of it. Hua Cheng has heard some pretty odd versions along the years, far weirder than A-Zhen's borderline erotic adaption. It's all fine. Xie Lian would have found it hilarious.

...Maybe not the porn parts. In retrospect, his Gege was quite shy about those things.

The best part is that ironically, despite being dead for centuries and never ascending, Xie Lian is a fairly popular god. Heavens absolutely hate that.

"...Your dog isn't with you?" A-Zhen finds the courage to ask when they reach the outskirt of the village. And Hua Cheng was being generous calling the fifteen or so huts a village. "Grandpa said you had an enormous beast with you…"

"My dog?" He repeats absentmindedly. "Oh, yeah. He bailed out four months ago. He does that every once in a while."

"Fourth months ago? Oh, I hope he's okay…"

Hua Cheng snorts. "Trust me, he's perfectly fine. He'll be back when he's bored of terrorizing the country. Oh, is that the shrine? I recognize my style." From a century ago. He made a lot of progress since then.

Wow, the building does look great, all in all. They actually kept his temple in good condition. That's… nice. Really nice. Frankly, Hua Cheng is not used to that amount of consideration for his hard work. It does weird things to his inner organs, as if his intestines turned into jelly or something.

Gross.

He didn't plan to crash in Puji, when he threw himself off Heavens with no direction in mind, but it worked out fine in the end. Any place was better than Upstairs anyway. After two weeks of hanging out there and pretending not hate everyone, he would have murdered one Official or twenty if he didn't take a break, promise to Jian Lan or not.

"I'm sorry, it's a bit dirty," A-Zhen babbles, sheepishly swapping the entrance floor with his foot. "We do clean it every once in a while, but it's been two months...Sometimes travellers sleep there, but they always pay their respect to Lord Xie Lian…We'll help you clean it up of course..."

"It's fine, don't worry about it," Hua Cheng pats his shoulder soothingly. "You guys went beyond the call of duty. I appreciate it."

"We didn't forget you chased the evil ghosts plaguing us when no one else was willing to help, Mister Priest." He did that? Well. That would explain it. "We'll bring you food and fresh laundry."

If they want to, who's Hua Cheng to refuse? He did slay a ghost for them decades ago. Probably. Maybe. Most likely. It does ring a bell at least. Oh, wait a minute, wasn't he completely wasted at the time?

"I have a question, if you don't mind..." the youth takes a deep breath. "The beast in the story… was it actually cursed?"

Hua Cheng tenses, his pleasant mood dropping lightening fast. Was it? Hua Cheng never figured that one out. "It doesn't matter in the end. Everyone was convinced it was cursed, the truth was inconsequential. You are what people think you are."

"Oh… that's a bit sad."

He laughs bitterly. "En. It really is."

'A bit sad' might as well be Hua Cheng's life motto. They should write that on his tombstone, if he ever gets to have one.

.

When Hua Cheng catches sight of the ox cart and vaguely recognizes the driver as a Puji farmer, he doesn't think the next hour will change the rest of his life. Unlike what stories written years from now like to claim, there is no deeper and meaningful reason for his decision, he is not guided by a red string of fate, and doesn't see the Halo of Holy Destiny hinting that Something Important is about to happen.

No, at the moment, the one thing Hua Cheng is being guided by is his own laziness and what he sees is the very fortuitous opportunity of a free ride back to his temple. Hua Cheng is not the type of man to spit on that, so he approaches the driver without an ounce of shame.

"Hey, old man, are you going to Puji?"

"Oi, who are you calling… oh, Mister Priest, it's you!" The farmer quickly changes his tune when he recognizes Hua Cheng and respectfully bows his head. "Yes, yes, I am! Does Mister Priest need a ride?"

Hua Cheng waves lazily in acknowledgment. "If it's no trouble."

"No, no, of course not! Climb in, make yourself comfortable!"

Well, since he has been cordially invited... In his defence, he's carrying heavy carving tools and painting material, and the travel by foot would have taken at best a few hours. He lost most of his stuff after his unplanned third ascension, as Heaven didn't bother to send his expensive art tools with him, so Hua Cheng has to start from scratch again. The quality of the material he bought in the biggest city of the region is painfully low compared to what he is used to, but beggars can't be choosers. Hua Cheng can and has carved statues with his own bare hands before, therefore he can easily make due with subpar tools.

Hua Cheng throws in his bag first, and hops into the cart without further ado. To his surprise, someone else had the same idea he did. A woman in her early twenties is sitting on her knees among the hay piles with her eyes closed, apparently unbothered by the intrusion. Hua Cheng stares curiously at his fellow hitchhiker. His first, rather uncharitable opinion is that the woman looks so deeply unremarkable it's remarkable by itself. Her face is slightly round, pleasant to look at but hardly striking, her skin is neither pure white nor the darker hue of the common folk, her bland dark brown hair is tied into a plain bun on the back of head, and her height and stature seems average, though it's hard to say considering her sitting position.

Add to that presentation good quality but plain brown robes and an ancient looking bamboo hat hanging on her back, and Hua Cheng finds himself sharing a cart with the least noticeable person he has ever met. He could have crossed her path a thousand times over and not pay attention to the occurence.

Uh. How suspicious. No one is naturally so utterly unremarkable. It has to be on purpose.

"Evening," Hua Cheng calls out as he sits by the edge of the cart, his back against the fence, one leg stretched in front of him and the other dangling loosely in the air, almost touching the ground. Hua Cheng has long legs, both a blessing and a curse. "You don't mind sharing with me, I hope?"

At the sudden sound, the woman flinches in surprise. She slowly opens her eyes. As expected, her irises are a dull shade of brown. She tilts her head to the side, quietly examining him. What she sees is deemed acceptable enough to engage in friendly conversation with. Ain't Hua Cheng flattered by the acknowledgment.

"Ah, not at all," the woman eventually says, her voice soft and melodious. "It's large enough for two."

Hua Cheng grins at that, his signature crooked smile that Jian Lan calls 'roguish' stretching his lips. Mu Qing says it's a creepy smile, but what does he know, repressed and bitter like he is. The woman seems to lean toward Jian Lan's opinion over Mu Quing's, which is always a wise choice. She smiles back bashfully, a hint of pink blooming on her cheeks.

Is she blushing? How adorable. Hua Cheng is the first astonished by the wave of satisfaction warming his belly at her reaction. He knows he's attractive, he's been hit on often enough to be unable to ignore that fact of life, yet hardly prides himself on his good looks. Not like he did anything to earn them.

"Jiejie is too kind," he teasingly says.

After so many years of experience under his belt at pestering people for fun and giggles, or just because he was bored, Hua Cheng had developed a very efficient sixth sense to detect funny potential victims. And his tingling spider senses are screaming that this person will be hilarious to needle.

And boy, his new pal doesn't disappoint.

"J-jiejie?" She stutters out, her hands hastily leaving her lap to cover her cheeks.

So. Cute. Exactly what Hua Cheng was aiming for. Hua Cheng chuckles, unable to hold back his amusement. Not that he was trying very hard in the first place. "My apologies, this San Lang can be very bold. I hope this mistress can find it within her good heart to forgive me."

She blinks, a flash of something deep flickering before she eases her features into a soft expression. "...San Lang, ah?"

Hua Cheng hums non-committally, He was having so much fun teasing her the name slipped from his lips. Identity had always been a complex topic for Hua Cheng. To Heaven, he's His Highness of Xian Le, the prince of a country long destroyed, and a pariah refusing to conform to their stupid rules. To the majority of the common folk, he's Cursed Prince Hua Cheng, god of Revenge, a bad omen whose name is whispered fearfully and revered secretly. And to the humans he actually meets, he's the red priest, an ageless cultivator roaming the world to share and spread his love for his God.

San Lang… it's a special name he uses rarely. It used to be what Xie Lian called him. Every once in a while, the weight of his loneliness is so heavy he introduces himself as such, just to hear the beloved sounds again, the way a griever would take out their loved one's belongings out of their box, to remember the feeling of it, before slipping back to safety.

Well. What is done is done, and he can't take it back now. "En. It's a family joke," he casually waves off his slip up.

"... oh, I see," she muses out loud. "I suppose this Jiejie would be Yi Niang then?"

Hua Cheng laughs at her thinking frown. "Sure, why not. Jiejie is cute."

'Yi Niang' manages to reign in her embarrassment enough to scold him lightly. "And San Lang enjoys teasing poor old me too much. So shameless."

Old? The odds that she is older than him are so low it hardly counts. As for poor… at first glance, she doesn't appear to be carrying anything on her person, yet there is something… elegant to her stance and her diction.

"I can only plead guilty," he says, shrugging. Poking at people, literally and figuratively, is one of his few pleasures in life. He'll take his fun where he can get it, he's not picky. So shameless indeed. "Say, Jiejie. What's bringing a classy lady like yourself to a backwater place like Puji? I'm curious."

"Classy lady?" Yi Niang repeats, incredulous, gesturing at herself for emphasis. "San Lang is mocking me again."

"Jiejie, you wound me. I would never." Hua Cheng boldy lies as he puts his palm on his chest.

He absolutely would. That being said, he does mean it this time. Yi Niang made great efforts to appear as unremarkable as possible, but Hua Cheng is no fool. She is no normal traveller. A rogue cultivator, perhaps? Most cultivators Hua Cheng has had the misfortune to meet would never condescend to wear clothes so bland and let themselves be teased by an insolent teenaged stranger, but it's not impossible.

"It's okay if Jiejie doesn't want to share her reasons with this San Lang," he adds. "I won't push."

"San Lang thinks too highly of me, assuming I'm acting for a higher purpose," Yi Niang chuckles self-consciously. "Truth is, I climbed on this cart without knowing where it's going, and I have never heard of Puji before!"

… really? Hua Cheng himself has done the same plenty of time, taking the road without a destination in mind, wandering freely in cities and campaigns alike, but he's also an immortal with no family, home, or fuck to give. "Jiejie is so adventurous and brave. I'm so awed of her."

"Ah, no no, San Lang got it all wrong!" She waves her hands in front of her frantically. "It's the other way, I'm a coward running away from my problems. I was in such a hurry I didn't pay attention to where I was going!"

Hua Cheng can't help but laugh good-heartedly at her eagerness. Considering his history and poor coping mechanisms, he has no room to judge other people for dealing with their issues by running blindly away from them. Really, this Jiejie is too much fun to talk with. He truly has been blessed today. "Eh, is that so? Still, I won't be convinced Jiejie is no dashing adventurer, no matter what she says."

"...I cannot win against San Lang's silver tongue, can I?" she sighs.

He smirks. "Nonsense. A cool person like Jiejie can win at anything if she wants to. I can only assume she condescends to let me tease her so because I somehow amuse her. It's such an honor, I might faint. Hopefully, Jiejie would catch me..."

"San Lang!" She squeals behind her hands, mortified by his forwardness. "Are you so shameless with every stranger you meet?!"

"Of course not," Hua Cheng answers truthfully. "Jiejie is special."

And she is, Hua Cheng realizes belatedly as he says so. He just doesn't how and why yet, but he intends to find out, if only for the sake of his own curiosity. He doesn't believe Yi Niang has bad intentions, but he has been wrong in his assessments of people's motives before. This is truly quite suspicious.

"Jiejie, would you mind coming closer?" He decides suddenly. "Since this is your first time in Puji, I can show you the sights."

Yi Niang blinks, skeptical to what Hua Cheng could point out to her aside from endless rice fields, but kindly indulges him nonetheless. Her robes flutter when she stands up and gracefully walks toward him, unbothered by the motion of the cart. She sits down by the edge, an arm's length away from him.

From up close, Yi Niang looks just as ordinary as from afar. Hua Cheng fails to notice anything that would give her away as a non-human. If she's a ghost, then she's a very powerful one to maintien such a detailed disguise. Though he has no idea why such a big shot would be interested in him.

"W-well?" Yi Niang glares sideways at him. "Is San Lang just going to stare at me?"

"Apologies," he says, smooth as hell. "Jiejie is so pretty I lost my train of thought."

More like he was trying to spot inconsistencies in her appearance, but it's not completely a lie. Belatedly, he notices the white purse with embroidered with red flowers hanging underneath her bun, tied to her hair with bright red silk lacings. The ornament looks unusually fancy compared to the rest of her attire.

Hua Cheng surprises himself pondering how he would carve her face into stone or wood, or the paint he would use to depict the exact shade of her skin, glowing gently under the red light of the dying sun. It's not often he feels the urge to depict someone else's features.

"I'm not pretty," Yi Niang mumbles. "San Lang is the one who's handsome."

"Jiejie thinks I'm handsome?" He repeats, delighted. "Truly, I am very spoiled. Please do say what Jiejie likes about this San Lang. I'd like to know so I can improve."

"San Lang knows he looks very fetching." She tries and fails to sternly scold him. "He shouldn't fish for compliments."

He laughs again. How long has it been since he enjoyed talking to someone so much? He finds himself wistfully wishing the moment would never end. "Of course, of course. Oh, do you see this shack up there? It's the house of Old Man Jin. His wife kicked him out their home when he was caught in an inappropriate position with the miller's wife, haha!"

Hua Cheng spends the next twenty minutes bullshitting stories about their surrounding, born of his imagination and gossip he heard around the village. He would argue at least seventy percent of what he's saying to Yi Niang has a hint of accuracy, so it's not really lying. At least that's his story and he's sticking to it. Yi Niang is a very good public, laughing at his antics and indulging his nonsense goodnaturedly.

"San Lang likes this place," she declares after he finished describing the 'man-flesh eater ghost fish' supposedly lurking inside the river they crossed. A-Zhen told him all about it, and though Hua Cheng has never catch sight of the terrifying creature, he has no reason to doubt. It's probably just one bigger fish than usual, but admittedly, a mighty beast devouring the limbs of the innocent folk trying to cross the river does sound better.

"I haven't been there for long." He shrugs. "It's nice enough, I suppose."

"Oh, is San Lang a wanderer as well?"

Hua Cheng smirks. He's not just a wanderer, he's the wanderer. No less than eight hundred years of randomly drifting around and refusing to commit to anything but his art, religion and pointless regrets. "As well, ah? Does Jiejie regularly blindly run away to the countryside?"

"Ah, no, I'm not that hopeless yet!" Yi Niang shakes her head, her eyes glinting with amusement. "I… collect rare books. Which requires a lot of travelling."

Hua Cheng perks up excitedly at the mention of books. Once upon a time, books were his greatest joy and comfort. Naturally the lifestyle of a poor as hell priest leaves little room for such a hobby. "Really? Jiejie, just when I thought you couldn't get any cooler, you prove me wrong."

To his satisfaction, Yi Niang blushes at the avalanche of compliments. He was starting to worry his flattery was losing of its impact. "S-San Lang! No more, no more, I can't handle it. And I assure my work is not nearly as adventurous as it seems. My benefactor hears of some antic tome, I go fetch it, and I bring it back."

Benefactor, uh? How interesting. It could be a complete coincidence, but Hua Cheng has heard of at least one person known for collecting books: White Sword Whispering Death. Legend has it he keeps the biggest library in the world, heavily guarded at the heart of his domain. That, and a giant armory full of weaponry from all over the world. Naturally, as a fellow book nerd, Hua Cheng would kill for an occasion to visit the Paper Tower. Too bad the Supreme is not known to be merciful to people reckless enough to touch his things without permission. Hua Cheng can relate to that philosophy.

It's quite the far-fetched theory though. He's been on edge since the sedan incident, waiting for something to happen. Unlike the notoriously impulsive Silver Storm In Winter or the short-tempered Purple Sea Devouring Treasures, Jingji Guan never acts without a reason. Hua Cheng doesn't know what it is exactly, but he has little doubt the master of Ghost City was not on Mount Jun Yu by coincidence.

Jingji Guan could be standing right next to him, and Hua Cheng wouldn't know. The Supreme is a master of disguise, having used thousands of different skins over the centuries. According to the rumors, no one has ever seen his actual face. When the ghost king wants to be recognized, he appears as a cloaked figure in white, his head hidden by a hood and an expressionless black mask. The escort of white flowers sprouting on his way is usually a giveaway as well.

However, whatever the Supreme wants of Hua Cheng can't be important enough for him to come in person. Right? Right. There is still the possibility Yi Niang actually is a perfect normal human.

"Jiejie is downplaying herself again," he says. "Is that mysterious benefactor the problem you're running away from? I can beat them up for you. Just tell this San Lang."

She laughs at his offer. He would be offended if the sound wasn't so pleasant to hear. "San Lang, sweet San Lang, you say the strangest things! If I'm as cool as you pretend, surely I can 'beat them up' on my own?"

"Obviously," Hua Cheng hastily replies. "It doesn't mean Jiejie should dirty her hands."

Yi Niang stares at the darkening sky, her previous giddiness replaced by a thoughtful frown. The moment stretches on and on, until she mutters: "What kind of person asks others to dirty their hands for their sake?"

Hua Cheng snorts. "Most people do that." The whole feudality system is based on egocentric lords requiring of their underlings to do their work, after all.

Before Yi Niang can reply, the cart suddenly stops in the middle of the road. They look at each other, curious.

"Oi, Old Man, what's up?" Hua Cheng shouts in direction of their driver.

"M-Mister Priest… there is an army of g-ghosts ahead," the farmer shakily replies. "W-what do we do?"

Ghosts? Oh. Ooooh. Today is the Ghost Festival! Hua Cheng completely forgot about that. Uh. It's not like small fry undeads can do him much harm, but Old Man did offer him a free ride, so Hua Cheng can't just abandon the poor guy. As for Yi Niang… who knows how she would deal with ghosts? He is almost tempted to let their potential enemies catch them, just to see what she would do.

"How unfortunate. Does San Lang have an idea?" Yi Niang softly asks, not sounding worried in the least.

He chuckles. "Jiejie. How do you feel about cart racing?"

The answer is: she has no opinion on cart races as she has never been involved in one in any shape or form. Hua Cheng hasn't either, but gathers he will perform admirably nonetheless. Racing is incredibly dangerous and recklessly, therefore right up Hua Cheng's level of competence.

This should be fun, he cheerfully tells himself as he pushes the unconscious farmer inside the cart and takes the reins. Yi Niang slips next to him, smiling serenely at the crowd of angry ghosts encircling them.

"Hang on, Jiejie!" Hua Cheng cackles, Ruoye shivering slightly around his forearm in response to his master's excitement. "I forgot to mention I don't have a driver's licence, haha!"

"A what?"

.

.

Here's what Hua Cheng learns during his rather successful first attempt at cart racing:

   1. Literally nothing fazes Yi Niang. The colorful threats the decaying ghosts throw their way leave her utterly indifferent. Hua Cheng almost sends them flying several times, and she merely holds on to the carriage, a peaceful smile on her lips.

"Why would I be scared?" She giggles behind her sleeve. "San Lang is with me. I have nothing to fear."

"That's funny, I was thinking exactly the same!" He cheerfully retorts. "Because Jiejie is here with me, nothing bad can happen to me. And look, it worked, we're still alive! It's thanks to your blessing. This San Lang is so lucky."

"San Lang did all the work, I literally just sat there the whole time!" She protests, adorably flustered. "Ah, San Lang is truly terrible! Mocking this old lady that way…"

"Old lady? Jiejie, of whom do you speak? I'm pretty sure our ox friend is of the male variety… are you saying the Old Man is actual…"

"San Lang!"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, don't be angry with me please, haha!"

There is something thrilling in the knowledge his new friend doesn't bat an eyelash at furious ghosts calling for her head, yet is so receptive to his flirting. He could get used to that.

   2. As a rule, common ghosts are not the brightest minds out there. This is no surprise to Hua Cheng, however he has to admit some of them are exceptionally dumb. What kind of idiot would purposely put themselves in front of an ox rushing down a hill in the hope to stop its course? It's like they lost their common sense at the same time they lost their head.

"I'm fine, it's just a leg!" He hears said ghost yells after they narrowly avoided trampling the fool. "Don't let them escape! Defend our pride as ghosts!"

"Liu Ning!" His comrades wail. "Your sacrifice will not be forgotten!"

Next to Hua Cheng, Yi Niang shakes her head disapprovingly. "Foolish little ghost, what was he trying to do? Those reckless children, I swear…" She mutters to herself.

Children, uh? What an odd way to speak of ruthless ghouls.

   3. Cart racing is the coolest thing ever. From now on, Hua Cheng won't travel any other way. It's either mad dashing through the mountain, narrowly avoiding gruesome death at every turn, or nothing. It fits his Reckless Fool/Edgelord aesthetic.

"San Lang is so wild," Yi Niang says.

"Is Jiejie being sarcastic? Her poker face is so good I cannot tell. As expected of Jiejie, of course."

"...Are you planning to divert everything I say by embarrassing me?"

Yes. It's a foolproof method. Why, he ends every conversation he has to endure with Feng Xin or Mu Qing this way. Only Jun Wu and Jian Lan are impervious to his superior distracting skills.

"Your words hurt me deep inside," he pouts, putting his hand over his chest. "Oh, looks like we made it."

Hua Cheng pulls the reins and stops the cart by the nearest house. The village is quiet and silent. Unlike themselves, the habitants were not foolish enough to leave the safety of their house when came the night, rightfully wary of the Ghost Festival.

"This place is charming," Yi Niang comments, too polite to say something closer to the truth, like 'can you even call yourself a village when all you have is three huts and one well?' or 'this place is literally the butt of the world'.

"It's not too bad," Hua Cheng concedes. Then he twists backward and calls out: "Old Man, you woke up yet?"

No answer. He shrugs. "Guess he'll sleep here. Should be safe enough. Jiejie, you wanna crash at my place?"

Yi Niang smiles sheepishly. "I won't lie and pretend I have a better plan than finding a ditch to sleep into. I don't suppose there is an inn here…"

Hua Cheng cackles at the preposterous idea. "An inn? Here? Not a chance. My place is not exactly fancy, but it's comfortable enough." After a moment of reflection, he remembers the other potential issue with the arrangement. "Ah, but Jiejie is a lady of good standing. I tease, but I promise I am a gentleman."

"The thought didn't cross my mind," Yi Niang gracefully jumps off the cart. "I honestly don't get why you insist I am a 'lady', San Lang."

"Eh, does that mean I should be concerned for my virtue?" Hua Cheng gasps and flutters his eyelashes, the way the sisters in brothels taught him to ages ago. "Is Jiejie going to ravish me and steal my purity?"

If Hua Cheng ever had such a thing as purity, it's been long gone. Yi Niang can't know that, though. To his disappointment, she doesn't bite the hook and walks briskly toward the back of the cart instead. Yi Niang grabs the bag containing the stuff he bought and throws it over her shoulder as if it weighed nothing. Hua Cheng knows for a fact it's far from being true.

"Wow," he breathes out, genuinely impressed. "Jiejie is so strong. Could she carry this San Lang as well?"

To his delight, she actually takes a second to think about it. "Probably."

Oh. Oh? "Suddenly, I can't walk."

Let it not be said Hua Cheng would miss an opportunity to embarrass himself. He puts up a good show, stumbling her way like a drunkard until he leans down without any grace whatsoever and falls over her shoulders. Yi Niang stiffens at the invasion of her private space, but doesn't shrugs him off. Good enough, as far as he's concerned. He takes advantage of the opportunity to critically inspect her hair and the grain of her skin. If Yi Niang is a fake human, then she's a high quality one, and Hua might or might not be screwed.

"San Lang is clingy," she says. Hua Cheng can't tell if she's amused or annoyed with his antics. Her voice sounds raspier than before.

He smiles against her hair. "Selectively clingy. In my defence, it's well past my bedtime. Jiejie should take pity on this poor San Lang and carry me."

"Okay."

… okay? The next second, Hua Cheng finds himself tucked against her chest, one arm under his knees and the other supporting his back. He blinks up dumbly, his brain unable to string two coherent sentences together. She's actually carrying him. It didn't come to his mind she would do such a thing. He got played at his own game, like a gullible idiot.

"Which way should I go?" Yi Niang smiles down at him.

His mouth replies with something that vaguely sounds like: "ngh."

"... San Lang, are you alright?"

And now she's staring at him with huge concerned eyes. No, Hua Cheng isn't alright. His heart is two beats away from bursting out of his ribcage. He doesn't think he has been hugged in five hundred years.

He wordlessly points to his monastery. Yi Niang nods once and strides onward, unruffled by the cumulative weight of his bag on her back and his person in her arms. Hua Cheng is not going to lie: this is hot as fuck, and he might have A Thing for being cared for. Whatever.

"Jiejie," he eventually manages to say. "I have to be honest, I didn't expect you to go ahead and actually carry me."

"But you asked me too?" Yi Niang replies, clearly puzzled by his confession. "San Lang is so confusing. I can put you down if you…"

Hua Cheng's arms shot upward, wrapping themselves around her neck. Hopefully he managed to sell the instinctive move as suave and not desperate. "Nope, I'm happy where I am."

What spectacle they must make, a smaller woman holding a weedy teenager boy in her arms, steadily making her way under the moonlight. Should anyone stumble upon them, they would be quite astonished by the surreal sight. The mighty red priest, the fearful god, the cruel prince, hauled around by an inconspicuous stranger without a word of protest on his lips. If anything, he's asking for more.

Anyway, this is another golden opportunity to investigate. At least that's what he tells himself. Yi Niang doesn't feel particularly cold to him. Sadly, she's also wearing several layers, so it's hard to tell. Hua Cheng is bold, but not bold enough yet to reach out and touch her face without a good excuse.

"I don't understand you at all," Yi Niang chuckles with what sounds like, dare he says it, fondness.

Hua Cheng smirks winningly. "Is that so? I don't know what Jiejie can possibly mean. I am but a simple man with simple tastes."

"Simple, ah," Yi Niang repeats, skeptical.

"The simplest."

Which is the pure and honest truth. It's easy to understand Hua Cheng: he only cared about one person, and that person died because of him. Most elements of his personality are a byproduct of that loss, most of his actions are driven by the wish to atone and earn the forgiveness he knows he doesn't deserve.

By nature and intent, Hua Cheng is closer to a ghost than a god. He keep on existing despite and for regret. Sad, so sad.

They reach the monastery sooner than Hua Cheng would have liked. The disadvantage of currently living in the smallest village ever.

"Is this your house, San Lang?" Yi Niang asks as she gently puts him down.

"It's where I sleep right now," Hua Cheng says, opening the door and gesturing at his guest to follow him. "Come in Jiejie, make yourself at home."

Yi Niang does so, following on Hua Cheng's steps silently. Hua Cheng casts a glance around the room, quickly checking if he has left something embarrassing exposed. As far as he can tell, no underwear has been abandoned on the floor nor food left on the open. Good enough.

His shrine looks ephemeral under the dim light provided by the full moon. The smoky scent of incense is still present in the air, and offerings pill under and over the table. The villager came by to pay their respect again. It warms his heart to see his Gege so beloved and respected. It's what he deserves after all.

He bows down in greeting to Xie Lian. Ignoring tradition, Hua Cheng doesn't prostate himself to pay his respects, merely bending his waist and clasping his hands together. 'I'm home', he silently says.

Out loud, Hua Cheng adds for Yi Niang's benefit: "Oh, I forgot to say, this San Lang is a priest. I hope this is no trouble to Jiejie."

Yi Niang hums non-commitally, without pointing out the fact Hua Cheng is too young to be a priest. She slowly steps in front of the statue, staring intently at Xie Lian's smiling face, a crown of flowers on the top of his head and a sword by his hip. Hua Cheng carved the statue with its stone arms stretched out and his head looking slightly up, as if the god is about to catch something. Or someone. The God Reaching Out For Heaven, that's how Xie Lian devotees call that position. Hua Cheng spent a decade only representing him as such. He had A Phase a hundred years ago.

"Does Jiejie know of my God?" He asks as he sits on the kitchen table, genuinely curious.

"The God of lost people and broken things," she says softly. "I do."

Of course she does. Yi Niang is a woman of culture. "And what does Jiejie think of Xie Lian?"

She stares at the statue for a long moment, before tilting her head toward Hua Cheng. Gently, she whispers: "That he is very lucky to have a such dedicated follower."

Hua Cheng blinks once, surprised by her answer. He wasn't asking about himself after all. "Ah, it pains me to tell you so but you're mistaken, Jiejie. It is I who's lucky."

"If San Lang says so," Yi Niang tonelessly replies, obviously unconvinced, yet unwilling to argue. "Ah. Do you have a spare bed?"

Ah, right. He only has one bed. He completely forgot about that minor but critical detail. "I don't. I can sleep on the floor, Jiejie, don't worry about it," Hua Cheng has done so before, many times.

"Nonsense," his guest says. "If someone has to sleep on the floor, it should be me. It is I who's imposing on San Lang without a warning. That being said, I don't mind sharing if you don't."

Sharing, uh? When was the last time he allowed himself to do something as intimate as share a bed? He honestly can't remember.

"So forward!" Hua Cheng gasps. "What is Jiejie planning to do to this innocent San Lang?"

"Saaaaan Laaaaang!"

He laughs at the expression of pure mortification on her face. This is a real question, though. Will she merely slumber next to him without making a move? Will she try to kill in his sleep? Will she… hold him tenderly again? Cradle his skinny frame into her strong arms, nest his bones in her hands, smother his heart in her kindness?

Only one way to find out, he decides as he rolls over his bed.

.

The next morning, Hua Cheng wakes to the sounds of hushed whispers coming from outside his window. Sunlight cast a warm glow on his bed, the other side empty.

He's still alive, with all his limbs attached. Well then.

"...away right now," he vaguely recognizes Yi Niang's voice.

An odd squealing voice answers with a strong and honest:"No no, not leaving!"

"San Lang here, we want to see San Laaaaang!"

"Not fair Master won't share! We want San Lang's petting too! Selfish, so selfish!"

"Ugh, I can't believe you," Yi Niang groans. "There is no petting whatsoever, you silly weeds. Now scram before I burn you down to the root."

"Meaaan, Master is so meeeean!"

Then, silence. Hua Cheng perks up and listens attentively, but whoever Yi Niang was arguing with seems to have left. Hm. That was strange for sure. Here disappeared his meager hope Yi Niang was who she claimed she was.

'Yi Niang' opens the door of the monastery and slips back inside, a bucket full of fresh water hanging by her hand. "Oh, San Lang is awake! Good morning! Did you sleep well?"

Hua Cheng yawns as he stretches out his limbs, surprised to notice that he did, in fact, rest quite deeply. He didn't thought he would be able to sleep a wink with a potential ghost in his bed, yet the very real threat of murder didn't stop him from passing out. Strange. Did Yi Niang do something to him after all? "I did. Thanks for the water."

"It's the least I could do," Yi Niang winces. "I would offer to cook breakfast, but I have been told many times any food I touch becomes toxic and mortally dangerous to consumption…"

Hua Cheng chuckles at her forlorn expression. "Any food, eh? Jiejie truly is amazing."

It can't be as bad as Xie Lian's cooking was. His friend could turn everything into a biological weapon. Hua Cheng had seen more than once whatever meal he was trying to make melt the pot. And he still ate it, and asked for more, because Hua Cheng would have done anything to make Xie Lian happy, including and not limited to cheerfully swallowing poison.

Granted, that was centuries ago, but Hua Cheng is still confident in his abilities to eat anything and live to tell the tale. Nothing Yi Niang can make will be able to faze his iron-clad stomach.

"Ah, no, don't start again!" Yi Niang shakes her finger at him disapprovingly, channeling her inner Stern Matron. Not that it would work on a motherless thug like Hua Cheng.

Ehe, Yi Niang might be a ghost, and there is the very likely possibility Jingji Guan in person is hiding under her skin, yet she's so adorable. Hua Cheng rolls on his belly, his elbows buried in the thin mattress and his chin resting over his palms. "What if I don't… what will Jiejie do then? Punish me?"

He winks shamelessly, a suggestive smirk curling at the corner of his mouth.

"I would never punish San Lang," Yi Niang very seriously promises, looking offended at the idea. Clearly the innuendo passed right over her head. So innocent. "He should be cherished, not hurt."

...That hit disturbingly close to home. Once again, Hua Cheng walked himself into his own demise. "... Jiejie is so pure she's killing this unworthy San Lang."

"Maybe San Lang shouldn't play with fire if he fears getting burn," Yi Niang says wisely, her mouth a stern line. She doesn't manage to stay serious for long, her lips quickly softening into an amused grin.

Hua Cheng bursts out laughing. So she did catch the innuendo after all! Such a devious woman, teasing him back without mercy! "So cold, so cold! Jiejie should tease me again, she does it so well!"

Yi Niang bites her bottom lip, ignoring his expectant smirk. She's trying to hard to appear unaffected by his bold flirting. Naturally her reserve only manages to make Hua Cheng eager to push further, like the pigtail-pulling bully he really is in his heart. "Ah, is that fire Jiejie spoke of dead already…"

His guest retaliates to his probing by crouching down and patting the top of his head. "San Lang should fix his hair instead of saying nonsense and making fun of me."

"Hmm? What's wrong with my hair?" Hua Cheng twists a loose strand of back hair around his finger.

She chuckles. "It's messy. San Lang has bed hair. It's very cute."

"I never have bed hair," he shamelessly lies. "It must be Jiejie's fault. She should take responsibility."

"If San Lang wants something from me, he only needs to ask."

Hua Cheng blinks up, astonished by her sincerity. He was merely jesting, once again, but Yi Niang took his teasing seriously and replied accordingly. At the moment, there is no doubt in his mind that when she claims he only needs to ask, she means it.

"Jiejie, would you brush my hair?" He somehow finds the courage to request. He feels timid, raw, completely exposed under her intense stare. Stupid. He's so stupid to let himself so affected by a stranger. It's okay to flirt as long it doesn't mean anything, as long as he keeps the broken shards of his soul safe from further harm.

This means something. His soul throbs under his skin.

Her smile shines so brightly it hurts. "Of course!"

.
.

Hua Cheng ends up with a crooked ponytail, to Yi Niang's despair.

"I'm so sorry, please let me try again!"

Hua Cheng flicks her hand away. "Nope. I'm keeping it that way. I like it."

He spends the rest of the morning waiting for her to mention her departure. Fortunately, a subplot/side quest crashes to his doorstep before she has a chance to, in the form of a suspicious ghost screaming hysterically about Ban Yue Pass and mysterious disappearances, whatever that's supposed to mean. For some nebulous reason, it's Hua Cheng's problem now.

Those things he has to do for the sake of his religion, honestly.

Chapter Text

For the record, Hua Cheng would like to say he does not have a bad temper, regardless of his reputation. Sure, in his wild youth, he slaughtered a shitton of people and might or might not have caused the end of an empire because he was upset, but he has done a lot of growing as a functional adult since then. Eight hundred years of aimless wandering would do that to a person. Admittedly, he probably would do the same now, those fuckers really had it coming, but that's not the point.

The point is: Hua Cheng is chill. He's the chillest. It's fine if people look down on him constantly, either for his careless teenage appearance, his more or less permanent state of poverty or his pariah status in Heaven. It's fine if the common folk swear by his name, if they spit on his statues, if they blame him for every disaster on earth. People can say whatever the fuck they want about him, he doesn't care for their opinion. If anything, he find their fearful contempt amusing.

Truly, Hua Cheng is pretty laid back, all in all. Except when it comes to his god. Then he has no chill whatsoever. His range of tolerance starts and ends with Xie Lian and whoever dares to disrespect his god will be dealt with in accordance to the offence.

"So, if I get this right," he calmly says once the thing pretending to be human is done babbling about Ban Yue or whatever. "You come to my house to bullshit me on some shithole in the middle of the desert, as if I could give less of a fuck. I can only assume whoever created you sent you as a bait…"

"M-Mister Priest," it interrupts Hua Cheng mid-sentence, looking genuinely scared. "I don't know what you.."

Hua Cheng casually stabs the empty shell in the stomach with his chopstick. Where the stomach would be on a real human, at least. It makes the sound of a deflated balloon when air leaves the shell through the newly 

made hole. Ruoye bounces forward, tying itself around the thing's legs, in case it thought it had a chance to bail on them before Hua Cheng got his answers.

"I wasn't done talking." He twists the chopstick inside, a fake smile on his lips. "Did I look like I was done talking? Where are your manners? Did your creator forget to add those, along with a semi-efficient brain?"

The thing looks two seconds away from bursting into tears and pretend some crap like 'I have no idea what you're talking about, Mister Priest, please spare me!" when the door opens. Hua Cheng straightens up, smiling brightly at the newcomer as if there isn't an empty shell tied up on his floor with a chopstick buried deep in its midsection.

"Jiejie! You're back early!"

Yi Niang walks in and nonchalantly puts her basket filled with fresh peaches on the table. "En, the villagers told me you had a… visitor."

Meaning they came wailing to her about the half-dead stranger they threw on his doorstep. Hua Cheng looks down, picturing the dire spectacle they must make without context. Really, even with context, it looks creepy as hell. "I'd love to say it's not what it looks like, but it's exactly what it looks like."

Yi Niang hums non-commitally as she perches by the angle of the table. The thing sees her arrival as an opportunity to save its worthless skin and turns to her hopefully. "Miss, miss, please save…"

Hua Cheng mercilessly kicks its face with his boot. "Don't talk to Jiejie with that disgusting mouth of yours, dirtbag."

"San Lang, it's a very elaborated empty shell," Yi Niang muses out loud, indifferent to the display of gratuitous violence. "It can't be here by mistake."

"Yeah, it wants me to go to Ban Yue Pass. Caravans passing there are mysteriously disappearing, apparently." Hua Cheng explains. "Jiejie, you know about empty shells? You're so smart."

Yi Niang frantically waves her hands his front of her in rebuttal. "Ah, San Lang, you know about them too, it's no big deal! And the green goo coming out of his belly was an obvious give away."

They all look down at the thing's belly. Indeed, there is a consequent amount of weird fluid leaking out of the wound. "Gross," Hua Cheng and the thing say in unison. Hua Cheng kicks it again for daring to agree with him, accidentally spreading even more goo. Ugh.

"Anyway," Yi Niang serenely takes upon herself to change the subject. "Ban Yue Pass, you were saying? How curious. Has San Lang ever been there?"

Hua Cheng shakes his head, pensive. "No, I have never heard of it. What about Jiejie?"

Yi Niang has, naturally. At that point, Hua Cheng wouldn't be surprised if she knew about absolutely everything. Ban Yue Pass, as she quickly explains, is located in the Gobi desert, in the northwest territory. It used to belong to a kingdom long gone, Ban Yue, destroyed two hundred years ago by its closest neighbours, the midlanders. Legends have it the country was betrayed by its demonic cultivator, the Head Priest of Ban Yue, who opened the doors of the city to the midlanders army and abandoned his comrades to a certain death. Since then, travellers passing through have been disappearing under mysterious circumstances.

While interesting, Hua Cheng has no clue how any of that tragic backstory relates to him.

"So, tell me," Hua Cheng says to the thing, aggressively petting its shoulder. "Who sent you? I'd love to have a friendly chat with them. You know, it's one thing to take me for a idiot and try to lure me to a trap with a bait so stupid, but it's quite another to corrupt my shrine with your presence. Worthless trash like you doesn't deserve to coexist in the same space as my god."

Hua Cheng leans down, his hand tightening around the thing's shoulder. "Give. Me. A. Name."

The empty shell gasps dumbly, and for a second Hua Cheng thinks his intimidation tactics actually worked. And then it had the sheer nerve to dissolve into a puddle of green goo. Coward.

"Dammit," Hua Cheng growls, incredibly pissed off by this turn of events. That fucker ruined his floor with its gross remains. "It had a self-destruction power. How fair is that? I really have to go to that place now. So annoying."

Yi Niang frowns. "I don't mean to criticize but… is that really a good idea? Clearly, whoever sent the empty shell is trying to lure you into a trap."

"En, obviously." He shrugs. "But I have to figure out who had the gall to send that thing and I don't have any other clue, so. Ban Yue, here I come."

Plus, Hua Cheng was an immortal, though not a powerful one, therefore few things on this earth had a chance to harm seriously him. Worst case scenario, Jian Lan would probably send someone to rescue him. Speaking of Jian Lan, he should contact her, she might know about whatever was going in Ban Yue Pass.

"I see. If San Lang has to go, may I accompany him?" Yi Niang asks. "I do know about Ban Yue, I promise I won't be a burden to San Lang."

Hua Cheng finds himself blinking bemusedly at the generous offer. "Jiejie, are you sure? This trip is going to be very annoying and probably dangerous."

Hm. There is still the non-negligeable possibility 'Yi Niang' herself is behind this nonsense. The number of coincidences in the last hours are starting to suspiciously pile up. Hua Cheng doubts it, though. Not her style.

"I don't mind. And I would worry terribly if San Lang went alone!"

Hua Cheng smirks. "It's your funeral, Jiejie."

"Ah, San Lang, don't be so grim!"

.
.

"Hey, Jian Lan, light of my life, stars of…"

"Your Highness, what have you done again?"

"Why do you automatically assume I have done something? Me who's so well behaved, who has never done anything wrong in my life ever? I'm hurt."

"..."

"Fine, you're no fun. Let's say, hypothetically, if I were to crash in to Ban Yue Pass for a quick holiday, how disastrous could it be? One a scale from one to Pei Ming's dating history."

"I… Ban Yue Pass? Why would you go there?"

"Oh, you know, I just wanted fresh air. And an empty shell made a valiant attempt to lure me there, so obviously I have to go see what's up. Completely normal reaction."

"... I'm afraid this idea is so disastrous I cannot even put it on a scale. Your Highness, don't."

"That's what I thought, thanks for the help, bye!"

"Your Highness, you… At least take someone with you. Let me send reinforcements to assist you."

"No need. I'm going with a friend. I made one, all on my own! Are you proud of me?"

"...congratulations. How long have you known that friend and how likely are they to stab you in the back at some point?"

"One whole day, and I'm confident she would at least do me the favor of stabbing me in the front."

"Right. I'm sending Fu Yao and Nan Feng to your house."

"Sorry, I can't hear you over the sounds of me violently throwing up in disgust. Nice talking to you, gotta go, bye."

"Your Highness."

.

Half an hour later, as Hua Cheng and Yi Niang had just finished packing for the trip, someone vigorously knocks at the monastery's door. Not the villagers, he knows, since they would never dare call upon him so callously. Already beyond pissed off, Hua Cheng opens the door, and promptly slams it to his visitors' sour face.

"Your Highness!" Feng Xin yells through the door. "Don't be so childish."

"Scram!" He screams back. "And tell Jian Lan to fuck off while you're at it."

"Forget it, we're not leaving!"

Well then, they can wait for a very, very long time. Hua Cheng has no intention to indulge those dumbasses' paranoia this time. He's not about to have a relapse and slaughter an entire country because he's having a bad day. Yet they kept on tracking him down and every two decades and spying on him under the shitiest disguises ever made. Hua Cheng thought they might drop the whole surveillance gig now he was back to heaven town, but if anything, it was getting worse.

Yi Niang perks up and tilts her head questioningly in the direction of the door. "Friends of yours?"

"Jiejie, no," he winces, in physical pain at the ridiculous notion. "Don't ever say that again, if you have any compassion for me. Please don't mind them, they will leave when they are hungry."

"We're not like the monster you call a pet!" Feng Xin snarls, full of righteous indignation.

"Your Highness, if I may ask," Mu Qing cuts in. "How do you intend to go to Ban Yue exactly?"

Hua Cheng pauses. He doesn't have enough spiritual energy available to draw a distance shortening array, and they know it. He still has the manacle sealing his power around his neck, and will until he begs Jun Wu to remove it, which is not going to happen anytime soon. Jun Wu would probably agree, but only on the condition he also removes his second shackle as well and that's. Just. Not happening. Ever. Hua Cheng has managed just fine without spiritual powers for the last eight hundred years, he's not going to change his well-oiled habits now. "We'll fucking walk!"

Or horses. Hua Cheng's ass doesn't get along with those things, but he can deal if it means he doesn't have to interact with the dickhead duet, watching his every movement and waiting for a glimpse of weakness to strike. Thanks, but no thanks.

"It would take entire weeks!" Mu Qing points out. "Your Highness, don't be ridiculous. And who's we?"

"Me and my big dick!" Hua Cheng snorts sarcastically, before he remembers who else is in the room. "Ah, sorry Jiejie, I didn't mean to say crude things like that in your presence. Please don't be mad at this impertinent San Lang.

Yi Niang's cheeks are very red and she's very much avoiding to look at him. "It's fine. But San Lang, they are right, I'm afraid."

"Your Highness, who are you talking to?" Feng Xin loudly demands.

Those idiots are ruining his cover with their incessant 'your highness, your highness'. His Highness, his ass. Hua Cheng was as much raised to become royalty than Feng Xin to be a womanizer. He casts a wary glance at Yi Niang, waiting for a remark on his title. Yi Niang smiles back serenely.

"San Lang, please forgive me if I overstep, but would it be so terrible to hear them out?" Yi Niang whispers. "They seem to want to help."

Help? They don't want to help him, they merely need to make sure he's not hurting anyone else. That being said, he does realize he's acting like a child throwing a tantrum. "If jiejie says so…Ah. Very well."

He wordlessly opens the door. Mu Qing and Feng Xin, in their Fu Yao and Nan Feng disguise respectively, scowl vidically at him as they storm in. Nan Feng's eyebrow twitches when he catches sight of Xie Lian's statue. Mu Qing makes a point to look as unreadable as ever, but his unease is palpable to whoever has enough experience at interpreting the nuances of his resting bitch face. Sadly, Hua Cheng does have that experience.

This time, they restrain themselves for commenting on his centuries old obsession. Good thing they finally learned to pick their battles.

"Who is that?" Mu Qing says, staring coldly at Yi Niang.

Yi Niang looks up from the kitchen, where she was busy packing food for the journey, and smiles. "Good morning! Should I prepare for two more?"

"'That' is none of your business," Hua Cheng squints threateningly at Mu Qing, before he turns to Yi Niang, his cold expression easing into a warm grin. "No need, jiejie, they're not coming!"

Mu Qing glares back. The Feng Xin.Exe, who stopped working the moment he caught sight of a member of the female species within his safe range, suddenly explodes back to life. He points at Yi Niang like the drama queen he genuinely doesn't realize he is.

"T-That person is clearly suspicious! Very suspicious! Where is she coming from? Where did you two meet?" Then, hit by an epiphany, he stares at the bed, shock plainly written on his face. "Did you sleep together?"

For fuck's sake. Hua Cheng is this close to unironically facepalm in public. Or outright murder Feng Xin. Both are tempting options. He meets Mu Qing's tired eyes, and for once, they seem to perfectly understand each other.

"San Lang, San Lang!" Yi Niang tugs on his sleeve, whispering urgently. "Is this person your mother? You should have said so! I'm so sorry, San Lang's mother! I promise nothing untoward happened!"

An awkward silence falls upon them. How. Just. How. How could the words Hua Cheng, Feng Xin and mother somehow end up in the same sentence? How could Yi Niang see them reluctantly interact and barely restrain from murdering each other and come to such a preposterous deduction? She has to be trolling him, there is no other explanation.

He grabs Yi Niang's shoulders and stares straight into her gleaming eyes. "Jiejie, if you love me, if only a little, you'll erase that moment from your memory and never speak of it again."

"Oh, I will never forget," Mu Qing says, looking into the distance with a creepy microscopic smirk.

"You will if you know what's good for you."

"I-I-I... mother?" Feng Xin spurts. "Of all the… DON'T COME NEAR ME!"

Yi Niang freezes mid-step and slowly raises up her hands in a placating gesture, as if Feng Xin was a wild skittish animal instead of a grown ass god.

"Don't mind him, Jiejie," Hua Cheng says. "He's terrified of all women, it's not personal."

"I'M NOT TERRIFIED!" Feng Xin, a terrified person, yells defensively.

"Oh, that's awful!" Yi Niang says. "To be scared of half the human population must be quite harrowing."

"I. Am. Not. Scared!"

"See, Jiejie, this is exactly why they can't come. They're useless. And they stink too."

"Your Highness, may I have a word in private while Feng Xin draws the array?" Mu Qing requests, the tone of his voice as warm as winter.

Hua Cheng sighs, considering telling the man to go fuck himself. He knows it won't work when Mu Qing looks so determined, his God On A Mission expression well in place. "Jiejie, yell if you need anything."

"Sure!" Yi Niang beams as she tentatively pokes Feng Xin's shoulder. "Have fun, San Lang!"

Fun, yeah, that's the word he would use to describe a private conversation with Mu Qing. The martial god closes the door behind them. On the other side of the street, A-Zhen and his friends are playing around, pretending and failing not to be spying the red priest and his mysterious guests.

"So, what do you want?" Hua Cheng grunts.

"I have done some research," Mu Qing carefully says. "About White Sword Whispering Death. Do you know all temples are forbidden within the Ghost City?"

Hua Cheng shrugs. "Makes sense, why would ghosts believe in gods?"

If humans become ghosts, desperate creatures fueled by spite, resentments and regrets, then the gods gave up on them already. Why wouldn't ghosts give up on gods in return?

"All, but one."

Hua Cheng perks up interestingly. He can tell where this is going. "Oh? Well. I am the god of revenge after all. Ghosts and I are kin by nature."

"Stop joking around, Your Highness, this is not a game!" Mu Qing hisses. "I don't mean small shrines, no, I mean a giant temple at the center of the city. In Ghost City, people are terrified to speak your name in anything less than stellar terms, because White Sword is obsessed with you. He has been for a very long time."

A temple? For Hua Cheng? Hua Cheng doesn't have those. His kingdom never laid in golden statues and grand buildings dedicated to his glory. His are the hidden shrines in caves and basements, the shameful offerings, the blood drawings and the grim statues. His are the whispers, the hateful shouts, and the prayers no one would utter in public. His are the spiteful worshippers and the desperate and the lost.

"And you think that what, White Sword is going to kidnap me and tie me up to his altar to have his wicked way with my 'defenseless maiden body'?" Hua Cheng eventually retorts. "You read too many romances, Mu Qing."

"I'm Fu Yao, and I do not!" Mu Qing shamelessly lies in both accounts. "Do you really believe White Sword showed up the day of your ascension by coincidence?"

Well, no. It does seem far-fetched, especially in the light of Mu Qing's revelations. Hua Cheng is still skeptical about the 'obsessed' part, but there has to be a hint of truth in those rumors.

"And now this woman just appears out of nowhere!" Mu Qing adds, steaming with frustration. "Your Highness, I won't believe you're buying her act!"

"Say, what if Jiejie really is White Sword?" Hua Cheng cuts in. "How do you plan to deal with that? Do you honestly think Feng Xin and you could defeat hiù, so far from your realm?"

Mu Qing bites his bottom lip. "I… Your Highness, we can protect you."

As if. What, now that Hua Cheng is back to Heaven, they give a fuck? What a joke.

"I don't want your protection, and no, you can't. So I'm going to tell you what we are going to do, since you both insist on clinging to my tights. Feng Xin, 'Yi Niang', you, and I are going to Ban Yue Pass to hunt down the bastard who sent that thing in my temple. We're going to pretend everything is fine until proven otherwise."

Then, Hua Cheng smiles. "And if it turns out Jiejie really is a supreme, you better be nice to her. Cause there are a shitton of officials who thought they were better than White Sword and didn't live to tell the tale, in case you forgot."

Mu Qing's voice is a distant thing. "I have not. No one is Heaven has."

No kidding. Mass slaughter is not the kind of detail people tend to sweep under the rug, or forgive and forget.

Hua Cheng would know.

.

They land somewhere in the Gobi desert. Hua Cheng takes one long thoughtful look of their surroundings, and promptly declares: "I bet something unexpected and unnecessarily dramatic will happen within the next twenty four hours."

"Don't jinx us," Mu Qing rolls his eyes as he dusts sand off his pristine robs. This is a man who knows how to dress up for a casual quest in the middle of nowhere.

"Despite common belief, I actually do not have the power to 'jinx' anyone," Hua Cheng drily says, shaking his index in his party's direction. "Unexpected and dramatic, mark my words."

Six hours later, stuck at the center of an honest to god sand tornado with only Ruoye to keep them from getting projected miles away, he obviously finds the strength to yell: "TOLD YOU SOOOO!"

"YOUR HIGHNESS, SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

.

Some mighty gods out there must have taken pity on them, because they manage to bitchslap the sandstorm and find cover in a conveniently close by cave. A cave that also happens to contain a bunch of terrified merchants and an alter to White Sword Whispering Death, which is one hell of a coincidence. World sure is small. Hua Cheng went through centuries without crossing paths with the Supreme, and now it seems he can't do two steps without stumbling on the guy or his side merch.

"How do you know about Jingji Guan?" Yi Niang startles. "Can San Lang read Ban Yue's language?"

"Of course not," Hua Cheng scoffs in disbelief, as he points at the words written on the stone. "The symbols for his name are the same though. And I'm sure Jiejie didn't miss the sword and the flowers."

Those two are Jingji Guan's trademark insignia. Ironically, they also are Xie Lian's. Not that Hua Cheng is bitter about that minor detail. Xie Lian was there first, if only by a handful of years.

"Could it be that Jiejie does know Ban Yue language?" He muses out loud.

"I do," she replies easily. "Did I not say I would be useful?"

Well, yes, but. To be fluent enough to read the dead language of a long gone insular country is not small feat. Regardless of her actual identity, Yi Niang truly is amazing. "Of course! How bold of me to doubt Jiejie's skills! Please forgive this stupid San Lang."

"Ah, San Lang! This was not another invitation to bury me under praises!" she squeals behind her hands. "Drop it, drop it!"

Hua Cheng sees an opportunity to extract more cute reactions out of Yi Niang and immediately latches unto it without a second thought. "But, Jiejie!" He pouts petulantly. "Praising you is the highlight of my day! Would you deprive me of my only joy?"

"S-san Lang ah!"

Meanwhile in the background, Mu Qing looks two seconds away from throwing up out of sheer disgust, and Feng Xin doesn't seem too good either. It's great. "STOP IT YOU TWO! HAVE YOU NO SHAME?"

"Are they flirting? Now, of all times," one of the merchants mumbles.

"Youth these days. No sense of timing."

"Did this sister say she can read Ban Yue texts? Isn't it suspicious?"

"Indeed, indeed!"

Alright, gossiping about them is one thing, but insulting Yi Niang is quite another. Though they do have a point, it doesn't mean strangers can just go ahead and speak their mind about his friend. Hua Cheng turns backward and glares at the other residents of the cave. "Hey. You shut your mouth. Jiejie is a woman of culture, unlike you illiterate morons."

"W-Why, as if you can read it!" they spurt out, full of rightful indignation.

"So impertinent!"

"Youngsters have no respect for their elders!"

"If the madam wouldn't mind," Mu Qing cuts in, interrupting this festival of clichés with a cold tone dripping of sarcasm. "Perhaps she could condescend to share with the class what she learned from the stone."

Yi Niang blinks owlishly at him, and smiles. "Naturally."

Apparently, Hua Cheng was only partially right on his conjectures. White Sword is indeed mentioned, and the few offerings on the altar are dedicated to him, but what they're standing in front of is actually a tombstone. How exciting.

"A tombstone!" One of the merchants repeats, horrified. "Here? Whose?"

"General Hua," Yi Niang says evenly.

The name clearly means something to Mu Qing and Feng Xin, who quickly look at each other, before they get back to glaring intensively at Yi Niang as if they want to extract all her secrets with their eyes alone.

Hua Cheng decides to take one for the team and asks: "And does Jiejie know more of this mysterious General Hua?"

Indeed she does. Two hundreds years ago, two neighbours fighting over the few fertile lands in this shithole went into war: Ban Yue and the Midland. General Hua belonged to the midlander army and was not, as a matter of fact, a General. The title was given to him by the locals posthumously. When he was alive, the man was merely a small officer, so disliked by his hierarchy he kept on getting demoted over and over.

"Demoted? What kind of foolish…"

"Mind your words," Feng Xin says sharply. "We're in front of the man's tomb. Have some respect."

"Well, you do have a point." Yi Niang shrugs. "It is indeed very strange, especially at war. But you see, this particular officer, while quite skilled at warfare and loved by his men, also had the unfortunate tendency to go out of his way to spare the common folk. From both sides. That sort of attitude doesn't seem unrespectable from an outsider point of view, but at the time…"

At the time they were at war, and sentiment had no place there. General Hua was popular among the civils, but not his colleagues in the army, which led to his ultimate demise.

"General Hua died in battle…"

"Oh, that's not so bad! I was expecting something bad and dramatic," A merchant chuckles.

"... trampled to death after he fell off his horse."

Silence in the cave. Then, predictable, the caravane party breaks into laughter. From the point of view of someone who has never known the agony of getting trampled by thousands of people and horses, the story must sound quite amusing indeed. Hua Cheng, Yi Niang, Feng Xin and Mu Qing stay soberly silent as the others giggle at the ridiculousness of the General's death.

"Don't laugh," A-Zhao, the quiet man who was introduced earlier as the group' guide, snarls angrily. "This is not funny. General Hua fell because his superior sabotaged his saddle."

Another awkward silence. Now, if you put it like that, it's indeed not that funny. Tragic, even.

"Sorry, sorry, good General," the merchants who laughed bow to the tombstone. "May you rest in peace."

"That's very interesting, Jiejie," Hua Cheng says. "But I don't see how any of this relates to Jingji Guan."

The caravan party minus A-Zhao gasps at the name. The Supreme is universally feared after all, similarly to his counterparts. Hua Cheng must appear quite bold and reckless to their eyes to dare speak his name so callously, which, to be fair, he is.

Yi Niang hums along, ignoring the terrified muttering in the background. "Has San Lang heard of the Thousand Bloody Flowers Field?"

Since Hua Cheng does not live in a shack in the middle of the forest, he has obviously heard of it. Back on JunYu, when Pei Yue mentioned the Supreme's flowers slaughtering armies, she was not exaggerating. Such a display of strength has been called Thousand Bloody Flowers Field, and is one of the most terrifying phenomena on Earth for many people. Countless white flowers sprouting off the ground out of nowhere and slaying indiscrimally, such is the hantise of warmonger lords and soldiers alike.

"Ah," he nods in understanding.

"Legends claim that after General Hua fell and died, the flowers appeared," Yi Niang explains. "It was, as you can expect, a slaughter. Both armies were heavily hit and it took them a while to recover from the blow. Not that it was enough to stop them from keeping fighting each other, mind you."

"An odd coincidence or did Jingji Guan and General Hua know each other?" Hua Cheng asks, doubtful. The timing did seem a bit weird, but for the Supreme to start a war over one unimportant human?

"Stone doesn't say," she replies. "I have heard many speculations on the matter. Some say they were friends, others that General Hua had been White Sword's subordinate the whole time. Lovers, even. I think there is was an erotic ballad written on the subject…"

Hua Cheng can't help but snort. Of course there is. Every story needs its porn spin-off, it is known.

"And then there is the rumor that General Hua was Jingji Guan in person," Yi Niang adds lightly, amused by the idea. "It's a quite popular version. Very mysterious, though unlikely."

The crowd breaks into "oooh" and "aaah" while Mu Qing frowns. Feng Xin seems deep in thought as well. The expression looks painful on his face.

"Preposterous," A-Zhao grumbles. "Such a nonsensical gossip."

Who put that stick far up his ass? That guy needs to chill. His anger sounds personal. If he keeps going that way, Hua Cheng might think A-Zhao himself is General Hua. Wouldn't that be a hilarious plot twist.

"I wouldn't know," Yi Niang politely shakes her head. "In any case, the people built this shrine to both honor General Hua's memory and appease White Sword's wrath."

"Did it work?" Hua Cheng wonders.

"As far as I know, he never came back. We should be safe here, until the storm passes," she wisely says. "As a precaution, I can only advise you not to speak ill of the dead. You never know who could be listening."

"Such a dick move," Hua Cheng agrees.

"W-well! We said sorry, didn't we?" The elder puts his hands on his hips like an angry matron defending her honor.

"It's not like we could have known, could we?"

"What can this dead pseudo-General do to us anyway?"

Which is obviously the moment the snake-scorpions hybrids from hell chose to come out.

.

There comes a moment in every journey where one inevitably starts longing for the comfort of home, and Hua Cheng, beyond exhausted, an ugly purple scorpion-snake's bite viciously swelling on his hand and with zero shit to give anymore, has long passed that point. This. Place. Fucking. Sucks. Ass. He doesn't remember signing up for an exotic tour around Ban Yue's haunted capital to hunt for magical weed. No one mentioned that when he decided to go investigate on a whim. And he still has no clue who the hell sent the empty shell to his place, which was kind of the point in the first place.

Ban Yue is filled with zombie fuckers who never had the intelligence to learn that sometimes, it's better to let go and stay dead. Also, highly suspicious people. It seems to be the norm in the local fauna. Why, Hua Cheng's gang are quite suspicious themselves, if he may say so.

"Who the hell are those two?" Hua Cheng mutters, peeking at the pair taking a casual stroll in the middle of Bitter Ghosts' Nest through the window of the abandoned house they are currently hiding inside of. "Any of you has ever seen them before?"

They have be Heaven Officials. No one else walk so arrogantly as if the ground should thank them for having the kindness to step on it.

Feng Xin squints at the two women. "No."

"I don't trust your judgement when it comes to women," Hua Cheng snorts. "You can't even look Jiejie in the eyes. Such pretty eyes too."

"San Lang," Yi Niang whispers sternly.

"My judgement is just fine!"

"Shut up, all of you," Mu Qing hisses. "I have never seen them but they do seem familiar, somehow."

Meanwhile, an incredibly gay romantic comedy unfolds in front of their very eyes.

"Shijie, shijie, I'm so bored," the green and silver clad woman pouts, waving her fan idly as she cheerfully skips in the deserted street. "Where are theeeeeey?"

'Shijie', or has Hua Cheng has nicknamed the other part of the duo: Tall, Dark and Broody, growls in displeasure. "Don't call me that."

"Shijie is so cold to her shimei," Green And Cheerful whines. "And to say I agreed to accompany her to this dreadful place out of the goodness of my heart!"

Ah, the Extra/Emo dynamics. Ever the reliable classic.

"Never asked you to," Emo Lady says, before stopping in the middle of the road. She turns her head where Hua Cheng, Yi Niang, the two idiots and A-Zhao are hiding. "Shut up now. Someone is spying on us."

"Oho," Hua Cheng tenses and has to think very, very fast. "I say we throw Feng Xin at them and we run."

"What."

"Seconded," Mu Qing agrees, a bit too enthusiastically.

"What!"

"I'm so sorry, mister Nan Feng," Yi Niang has the decency to sound earnestly apologetic. "You'll do great! We believe in you!"

"OH C'MON!"

They throw Feng Xin at the Emo/Extra Duo and they run as if the devil was on their tail. Or a disappointed Jun Wu. Same aesthetic. Despite the circumstances, Feng Xin performs admirably, jumping into the fray and ignoring his pathological fear of women for the greater good. Looks like the man has its uses after all.

Not to throw flowers to himself, but it was a fantastic plan and Hua Cheng is a goddamn genius. Now, where are those magical weeds hiding, uh? A venomous wound won't kill him but it sure hurts like a bitch.

"San Lang, this way!" Yi Niang catches his hand and lead him toward the palace and into a walled garden.

Oh. Is it just him or this place reeks of resentment?

Also. "What are you idiots doing here?" He glares at the merchants huddled in the garden.

"W-Well…"

"Nevermind, I'm not interested."

.

Here's what Hua Cheng learns of their wild escape to zombieland.

   1. Seriously, some people should just die already. Preferably before they have the time and brilliant idea to grow themselves a two meters long tongue. This shit is just gross, and Hua Cheng won't stand for it.

"I'm human!" The thing that is certainly not human screeches when Hua Cheng points out that catching fellow humans with his ugly appendage to eat them is not, broadly speaking, compatible with humanity. "I AM HUMAN!"

"No, you're not," Hua Cheng says as he puts an end to his misery, ignoring his whining about a traitor among them. Of fucking course there is a traitor, those creepy snakes didn't assault them by coincidence.

On the minus side, the ghost yells so hard before he kicks the bucket an entire squad of Ban Yue soldiers storms in the next minute, but at least the tongue fucker is dead for good, so Hua Cheng still counts the whole debacle as a victory. Relatively speaking.

   2. Whoever thought throwing hundreds of spiteful dead bitches to the bottom of a pit to let them fester and rot for centuries like some sort of ghost hot pot clearly should have reconsidered. Because this is just a recipe for disaster and Hua Cheng wouldn't touch that shit with a ten-inch pole.

"To be fair," Yi Niang peers down at the edge curiously. "I doubt they had a choice."

The general starts monologuing in their gibberish language again and aggressively gestures at the pit. Another guy who should learn to chill. It's like Hua Cheng can't do anything without stumbling upon those.

"He's going to throw us in the pit to feed us to his brothers," Yi Niang kindly translates. "San Lang, I'll go first."

Hua Cheng blinks. If he needed a confirmation Yi Niang is indeed not human, this would be it. Who would want to go down there voluntarily? Even Hua Cheng isn't too happy about it, and he's immortal. "You sure, Jiejie?"

Her smile is gentle and serene. "Yes, San Lang. I am sure."

She falls. Hua Cheng's heart clenches painfully in his chest. And the world goes quiet. 

   3. Yi Niang's arms are without any doubt the best place on earth. This is just fact.

"San Lang, please, you're going to kill me," she moans as her hold tightens around his shoulders.

"I would be quite powerful if I could kill you with a few words, Jiejie," Hua Cheng mumbles.

The pit is pitch back and silent. None of the hideous screams that could heard when A-Zhao was thrown in it can be heard. Whatever was surviving in there is now very dead, for good this time. And Yi Niang did it. If Hua Cheng's feet touched the ground, he wonders if he would feel a field of flowers.

"Did you have fun, Jiejie?" he asks in a falsely light tone.

She pauses. Her fingers run along his arms soothingly. "... No. Those creatures had been in agony for a long time. It's very sad. I'm happy they are finally at peace, though."

"Ah." He breathes out. It's hilarious how despite being a calamity, Yi Niang is clearly the better person between the two of them.

And then Ke Mo ruins their moment when he jumps down, wailing and raging about his pet ghost hord. Fucker. Learn to read the mood, won't you?

   4. Mistaken identity revelations are very amusing in theory, not so much in practice, especially when there are more than two parties involved. It's like an identity porn orgy, but without the sexy parts.

"A-Su?" Yi Niang says at the ghost teen wearing all black who jumped in the pit after Ke Mo. "Is that you? What are you doing?"

The presumed A-Su turns even paler, which Hua Cheng wouldn't have thought possible. Say what you want about the serial murders, but the kid is committed to his goth aesthetic.

"I-I… General Hua?" Ban Yue Head Priest blurts out. "It can't be… You're dead! And a man! P-Pei Yue, what is going on? What did you do?!"

A-Zhao comes out of the shadows, alive and looking like he wished he wasn't. Or her, apparently. Pei Yue, uh? What a plot twist. It seemed like yesterday they were capturing a fake bridegroom together and today she sent a rabid scorpion-snake to bite his hand. He won't lie, his feelings are hurt. Weird thinking on her part though. It's possible she didn't make the connection between Fu Yao and Nan Feng and their actual personas, but there is no way she didn't recognize Hua Cheng, and known the venom wouldn't kill him. Why lead him to their sin den then?

"And A-Zhao is A-Yue, of course," Yi Niang, aka General Hua, sighs. How many fake identities does one person need? "Have you two been luring innocent people to their deaths in order to feed the ghosts you created?"

A-Yue and A-Su bashfully look at each other like two kids caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"It's my fault, General Hua," Pei Yue confesses. "I was the one to disguise my clone as a guide to bring people in. I used my snakes to bite them and force them to enter Ban Yue. Ban Su is not responsible. I'm so sorry."

"Don't take all the blame, it was my idea in the first place," Ban Su cooly declares.

"Excuse me," Hua Cheng interrupts this self-blaming fest. "But would you mind explaining to me what the hell is going on? Thank you."

The story goes like this: once there were two countries at war for a very, very long time, and two children stuck in the middle of the conflict. One was a midlander, heir of a long line of military officers and destined to greatest like her ancestor. The other was a Ban Yue citizen, who had the terrible idea to be born of a midlander mother and with a weak constitution. Both were quite the handicap in the other Ban Yue children's opinions, and so Ban Su grew up bullied and lonely. Until he met midlander children, including Pei Yue, and the kind military jokingly answering to the title of General Hua officer who hoarded them all.

Hua Cheng arches an inquisitive eyebrow. Wordlessly, Yi Niang shifts into a slightly taller man, his features just as bland and forgettable as his female face.

"General Hua, it's really you," Pei Yue says, her voice struggling to contain her emotions.

"So the rumors…" Ban Su drawls out.

"En," Yi Niang admits. "I did cause the massacre that day."

"Because of me," Ban Su says. "You died because of me. To save me."

"No. I died because sometimes people are hateful and foolish. Especially when they are afraid. It was never your fault, A-Su. You were a child."

A child who came back to his birth land with powers so ground-breaking his people, the ones who spat on him his entire childhood, made him Head Priest, with General Ke Mo's support. In the end, he betrayed them by opening the doors and giving the city to his childhood friend and rumored lover.

"I didn't offer Ban Yue on a silver platter to Pei Yue as a courting gift," Ban Su scoffs, indignant at the nonsensical idea. He gestures at a gagged and tied up Ke Mo coldy. "This one, and the other highers up of the city were planning to send kamikazes to the Midland. 'If we have to lose, might as well take as many midlanders as we can,' they said. They would have slaughtered children out of sheer pettiness."

And so the midlander army annihilated Ban Yue. Pei Yue ascended for her exploit, while the ghosts of Ban Su, Ke Mo and the Ban Yue soldiers remained, trapped in a hell of their making, unable to leave, unable to kill each other for good.

"We tried," Pei Yue says, staring at the sea of corpses underneath them. "But Ban Su wasn't strong enough to defeat them, and I wasn't… allowed to descend to take care of the problem I was responsible of."

Reading, Pei Ming wouldn't let her. Knowing the old fucker, he probably told his descendant to forget about it while patting her head condescendly. A grim scandal like this would have ruined her reputation in Heavens forever.

"They were suffering so much, so we… decided to ease their pain, the only way we could think of at the time."

"I decided," Ban Su glares at his accomplice sternly. "You were against it."

Pei Yue waves his rebuttal away. "It doesn't matter whose idea it was. I still did it. I pretended to guide them, I picked which humans I would send to the slaughter, and I ordered my snakes to bite them. It's my fault, Your Highness."

"Pei Yue," Ban Su hisses. "Drop it already."

Oh. So that's why she had her snake bite him and lead him there. She was hoping he had the power to destroy the ghosts. Or perhaps she had gathered the stranger by his side was Jingji Guan, who was certainly was strong enough to do so. At worst, if they couldn't solve the problem, Pei Yue still intended to take the blame when shit hit the fan. If Pei Ming had his way, he would shield her entirely by shifting the blame on Ban Su's shoulders solely. Having a reliable witness who wouldn't be influenced or scared by her protector's aura should be enough to prevent that outcome from happening.

Such strange children Yi Niang raised.

"General Hua, thank you for killing them," Pei Yue bows down to Yi Niang. "Once again you must clean up our messes."

Yi Niang stays silent, contemplative. Hua Cheng looks up to the opening of the pit. He can see Mu Qing driving himself crazy trying to get inside. Though funny, it's also distracting. "Would you mind opening the array?"

Ban Su complies without a word, just in time for a thoroughly dishevelled Feng Xin to cannonballs down the pit. Considering the way he crashes without any grace whatsoever, he wasn't expecting the array to open so suddenly, like a man trying to force a door and finding it open at the moment he hit it with all his strength. Mu Qing falls down as well, followed by…

"Emo and Extra!" Hua Cheng chortles to himself while the two ladies land next to Mu Qing.

The glare Emo sends his way could have killed a lesser man. "Your Highness Hua Cheng. Fancy meeting you here."

Mu Qing pinches the bridge of his nose tiredly. "Your Highness, those people are the Watermaster and the Windmaster."

Oh? "And you didn't recognize them before because…"

"They usually look like men, Your Highness." Feng Xin grumpily explains as he stands up.

Oh? Heavens have more interesting people than Hua Cheng would have thought. How exciting.

"General Pei Yue!" Extra screeches gleefully, waving their green fan at the pair. "You're under arrest!"

Pei Yue tilts her head to the side indifferently. "I understand. I will be under your care, Lord Watermaster, Lord Windmaster."

"Oh! Good, good, good!" Extra says, slightly disappointed by the lack of resistance. "And regarding the other culprit…"

Ban Su scowls at them, refusing to appear frightened by his imminent punishment and likely death. Silently, Yi Niang steps onward to stand by his side. "Do not concern yourselves with this one, lords Officials. I will handle him."

Despite the polite tone and peaceful expression, no one is fooled. This is a fact, not a suggestion. Yi Niang is telling the assemblee of Very Important Heaven Officials what is going to happen, not asking for permission.

...It's cool as fuck, Hua Cheng won't lie.

The Watermaster stiffens. "And who might you be?" He asks, as if everyone is not aware of the demon king's identity already.

Yi Niang smiles behind his sleeve. "This one's neglectful parent. By extension, his failings are mine, I'm afraid. There is no need for eminent gods like Your Lordships to trouble themselves with petty ghost business."

Meaning, 'come after what is mine if you dare, and see what happens'.

"And there is no need to thank me for taking care of this ghost infestation, I am but a simple concerned citizen, always willing assist Heaven's noble goals in the best of my abilities."

Hua Cheng has to bite his inner cheek not to giggle like a lunatic. Technically, Heaven does owe Yi Niang for getting rid of the ghostly compost that has been festering in their backyard for centuries. because of one of their own generals' actions. The irony.

Lord Windmaster seems to think so as well. They cough a very audible "awkward" behind their opened fan, to Lord Watermaster's visible irritation.

Lord Watermaster silently considers his options, and comes to the natural conclusion he's not paid enough to get in a fist fight with White Sword Whispering Death in the middle of a pit full of dead bodies over one Menace level ghost. He nods once in Yi Niang's direction and grabs Pei Yue's arm.

"Send us back!" He barks at the Windmaster.

"Bossy, so bossy, He-xiong is so mean to me," they pout, before waving their fan and creating a powerful gust of wind.

Hua Cheng closes his eyes instinctively to protect himself against the sudden aggression. Well. He would bet the sandstorm they narrowly escaped wasn't natural after all. When he opens them again, the Windmaster, Watermaster and Pei Yue are gone, leaving only Mu Qing, Feng Xin, Yi Niang, Ban Su and Hua Cheng to fend for themselves. Also, Ke Mo, but who cares about him?

To quote the illustrious Extra Windmaster: awkward.

"So!" Hua Cheng breaks the heavy silence by clasping his hands together. His lips stretch into his biggest and fakest grin. "That was fun!"

Yi Niang chuckles. The sound is enough to trigger Mu Qing and Feng Xin's paranoid instincts. They move in unison to stand by Hua Cheng's side and glare at the Demon King. Said Demon King ignores the display of hostility, and somehow manages to find a pot from god only knows where.

"Get in there, trouble child," he says to Ban Su. "You exhausted all your strength."

Without a word of protest, Ban Su shrinks himself and slides inside the pot. Yi Niang closes the lid and tucks the container in his inside pocket.

"Stand back, demon," Feng Xin snarls, his hand grasping the hilt of his sword. "I don't know what you're playing at, but you won't get His Highness."

Oh really. Did Hua Cheng somehow turn into the meek heroine of a shitty romance novel when he wasn't looking?

"Get?" Yi Niang repeats. "I wasn't aware San Lang was a thing I could get."

"Yeah, fuck off Feng Xin," Hua Cheng wholeheartedly concours with that statement .

"Your Highness, stop listening to that… that wicked creature! And I'm Nan Feng!"

Yi Niang sighs. "In any case, perhaps we should have that conversation elsewhere. I would like to have a private discussion with San Lang, if he doesn't have any objection to it."

There is a vulnerability in the way Yi Niang looks at Hua Cheng, like a dog who knows he misbehaved, quietly waiting for his punishment.

Hua Cheng smiles. "Why would I object? I love talking to jiejie."

Within Jingji Guan's eyes, something tiny and fragile shivers.

.

The monastery is utterly quiet when Hua slips back inside, late afternoon shadows clinging to the walls and the altar. Xie Lian's peaceful face greets him, as even and unbothered as ever. Hua Cheng has only been gone for three days. It felt like three decades.

"Why is Jiejie hoovering awkwardly outside like a stranger?" He asks, lazily half-turning toward the door.

Jingji Guan's answering smile is tense. "I'm not sure San Lang wants me in his home anymore."

Hua Cheng hums in understanding. The situation is indeed a bit weird. He may have pretended to know exactly what was going in front of the dickhead duo, but in truth he's as confused by Jingji Guan's motives as they are. He's just not scared at all. If the Supreme wished to harm Hua Cheng, he would know.

"Come in, Jiejie."

Jingji Guan does so, slowly and gracefully, the long sleeves of his white robes fluttering behind him. His General Hua appearance is just as soft and unthreatening as Yi Niang's round face and gentle eyes.

"Is San Lang not angry with me?" He wonders, bemused at Hua Cheng's lack of reaction.

Hua Cheng sits by his bed to remove his boots. He makes a point to look as nonchalant about the whole situation as physically possible. "Not really. I kind of knew all along. Jiejie clearly is not as smooth as he thinks he is. I'm not upset."

"San Lang should be more wary of me," Jingji Guan mutters, more displeased by his deception than his victim is. "He's too trusting."

Hua Cheng barks an incredulous laugh at that. "I'm the least trusting person I know, Jiejie! I just feel Jiejie has no harmful intentions towards me. Though I do not know what those intentions are exactly."

Jingji Guan frowns, silent and grave. Looks like Hua Cheng will have to be brutally honest and forward in his interrogation if he wants answers to his questions.

"What does Jiejie want from this San Lang?" Hua Cheng asks.

"I want San Lang to be happy."

...What kind of answer is that? Hua Cheng wants to believe him, he really does, but his happiness? No one has cared about his emotional state in centuries. Xie Lian was the only person ever actively invested in Hua Cheng's happiness.

"Is that so?" He says, skeptical.

"It is so," Jingji says. "I want San Lang to be safe. Warm. Content. Unafraid. Happy. I understand if San Lang does not believe me. If my presence bothers him, he only needs to say the word and he will never have to see me again."

...what? How? Who gave the guy the right to sound so smooth while spurting such honest and caring bullshit? How is Hua Cheng supposed to just… believe him?

"Sounds like a threat," Hua Cheng smiles evenly, trying and failing to get his inner gay panic under control. "How come Jiejie would care so much about me? Has he met this San Lang before?"

"I have."

Oh? Well then. Hua Cheng pauses, patiently waiting for a further explanation that does not come. "Aaaaand?"

Jingji Guan peers at him anxiously, his hands twisting on his lap. "... I would rather not say."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm ashamed."

Ah. It's a sentiment Hua Cheng is familiar with, though hardly helpful. Well, well, well, let's review what Hua Cheng does know of his mysterious benefactor. Mu Qing said Jingji has been obsessed with His Highness Hua Cheng of Xian Le for 'a very long time'. If he remembers correctly, White Sword Whispering Death arose from Ting Lu as a Supreme a decade after Hua Cheng's second ascension.

His best guess is that they met between his first and second ascension, during Hua Cheng's grim time as an active God of Revenge. Considering the way Hua Cheng 'helped' his worshippers, it could explain why Jingji Guan feels enough indebted to him to actively wish for Hua Cheng's 'happiness', while being ashamed of the way they met. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on the point of view, Hua Cheng hardly remembers anything of what he did back then and who he met. He only kept blurry flashes of those months, of hunger and cold, of tears and despair, of greed and hatred.

The red of blood. The silver of his blade. And the voices. Oh, the voices.

In retrospect, it's better not to remember.

"San Lang?" Jingji Guan's concerned voice brings him to reality. "San Lang, are you alright?"

Hua Cheng rubs his eyes. "I'm fine. Just tired. Let's go to sleep."

Jingji Guan stares at the bed uncertainly. "... I can sleep here? With San Lang?"

"Yeah." He simply says, too exhausted to flirt properly.

Hua Cheng slips under the sheet without waiting for his guest to stop flailing around like a confused fish thrown out of water. He rests his head on the pillow and closes his eyes, determined to ignore the shadows lurking within. Denial has worked just fine for him before.

After a moment of still quietness, the other man dares to lay down next to him.

"Good night, San Lang," Jingji Guan whispers, fondness laced in his voice.

"Good night, Jiejie." Then, gently, he adds. "I'm going to figure it out, you know?"

"Ah," the Supreme breathes out. "I would rather you wouldn't, but I won't try to stop you."

"Bold of you to assume you could stop me, Jiejie. I'm very stubborn."

"I'm aware." Jiangji Guan chuckles. Hopefully, he asks: "Will I be welcome again in San Lang's home?"

"Of course. Am I welcome in Jiejie's home?" He retorts lightly.

"My house is San Lang's, if he wishes it so."

Jingji Guan sounds so certain, as if San Lang could just storm in Ghost City and demand the keys, and the demon king would gladly hands them over. Hua Cheng doesn't know how to reply, so he just allows himself to fall asleep, eased by the instinctive knowledge he's safe with Jingji Guan. No matter what happens when he's exposed and vulnerable, his friend will deal with it.

Hua Cheng feels safe. Hua Cheng never feelssafe.

What is his Jiejie doing to his heart exactly?

.

The next morning, he wakes up alone and with the addition of a beautiful ring tucked tenderly against his chest.

Uh. Guess this is Hua Cheng's life now.

Chapter Text

Inside the country of Xian Le, there is a famous monastery, called Huang Ji Temple, built on top of TianCang Mountain. Thousands of disciples live, work and study there, hoping to learn cultivation from the most powerful cultivators of the country. Inside said temple, at the outskirts of the compound, there is a tower, standing taller than every other building in the complex, its roof as red as mapple and its walls as white as snow. There is only one access to enter the tower: a door made of the strongest steel, covered in protection talismans. Entrance is strictly forbidden to anyone without permission of the Head Priest, at the risk of death.

For inside the tower lives the most abominable creature, the most cursed of beings: a child of misfortune. Disciples, despite never having seen said child, whisper stories of a three-legged monster, his eye as red as blood and his mouth full of sharp teeth, or of a child beautiful like the moon, his voice as sweet as honey as he lures innocents to their death. In any case, all agree, the evil the tower contains is so great only the Head Priest can enter and leave untainted by its darkness.

But why allow such a beast to live among them, newcomers ask, terrified to sleep so close of the cursed tower. The answer is simple, this child also happens to be a prince of Xian Le, first child of the king and of the first queen, who passed away a few hours after giving birth to her wretched son. The king vowed to care for him to the dying queen, and so here they are.

At least that's what Lan Chang says. As Hua Cheng has no other interlocutors than her and the Head Priest, he has no other option but to trust her word.

"If I may be honest, I was very surprised to see Your Highness looks like a normal child," she says, a few weeks after entering his service. His previous caretaker died of lung infection. He was blamed for that, of course. When something goes wrong, it's always Hua Cheng's fault. "I was promised three legs, two heads and skin red as blood, you understand."

Hua Cheng snorts under his mask. For all he knows about other children, three heads and two head might be the norm.

"I could have red skin," he wriggles his tapped fingers in his servant's direction.

Hua Cheng must always be entirely covered when other people share his space, to limit the risk of spreading his misfortune to innocent bystanders. He's currently wearing heavy white robes, containing talisman stitched on the back and the front, his feet and hands wrapped under bandages and his face hidden under a mask. At twelve years, he's old enough to wash by himself, therefore Lan Chang actually has never seen the color of his skin.

"...Do you?" She asks, sounding more excited by the prospect than scared.

"Not really," he admits easily. "It gets reddish if the bath water is too hot."

"That applies to everyone else, your Highness."

"I'm sorry to disappoint then," he says, drily.

He's not though. Hua Cheng is used to be a constant disappointment. What's one more instance in his impressive track record?

"I'm not disappointed," Lan Chang denies as she finishes piling up the dishes in her basket. The plates will be burnt, he knows. Nothing he has touched can leave the tower without being thoroughly cleansed before, and dishes are not worth the effort. "Your Highness is very kind to me."

Is he? He wouldn't know. Kindness is described like a gentle feeling in the books he has been given. Hua Cheng doesn't feel gentle. He feels angry. All the time. As if a storm has been shoved inside his throat, aching and snarling and raging at the unfairness of the world. And when he's not angry, then he's just sad.

He'd rather be angry.

He stares at the window, his head leaning against the wall. Today is a good day. The sun shines brightly, and puffy white clouds are drifting lazily across the light blue sky. He can hear the sounds of the disciples in the courtyard, babbling and laughing, their voices to remote to be understood clearly.

Windows. Why does he have windows? Everything else is sealed, the only door, the walls, even his clothes, but the windows are wide open. It's not a kindness, Hua Cheng can't help but think when he sits by the ledge in the darkness of the night, his legs swinging in the void.

It's a deliberate decision.

"Does His Highness need anything from this servant?" Lan Chang inquires, bowing low on the floor.

Hua Cheng startles at the sudden question. He got lost inside his own mind again. Not like he has the possibility to get lost anywhere else. "No. You may leave." Then, as an afterthought, he adds. "Thank you."

Soon, Hua Cheng will leave this cursed, golden prison too. One way or another.

.

Hua Cheng falls on the day of the festival of ShangYuan.

This is not a coincidence. Hua Cheng has never been allowed to choose anything in his life, so he's decided to make his death his own doing. If he has to die, and he knows he does, then he wants to do so on his own terms. Of course the Head Priest would say Hua Cheng is in no danger, but he has seen the way his father looks at him, his own flesh and blood. The King hates Hua Cheng. Nothing Hua Cheng does will be able to change that simple fact. It's only a question of time before his father conveniently forgets the promise he made to a dead woman twelve years ago and erases her murderer's existence from this earth for good.

And even if the King doesn't have Hua Cheng killed, he can't stand being trapped in that tower anymore. He can't live like that. He won't.

With that in mind, suicide really is the only outcome possible. Obviously Hua Cheng would want to pick the most inconvenient moment to curse them all, when this country who loathes his very existence is giving its best to earn the favor of the gods.

Hua Cheng wants to ruin it. He wants to tear apart their joy, he wants to make them feel as bad as he does constantly, if only a little. He wants to spit on their gods and their religions that decided he was born fucked up.

He wants to die. So he does.

On the day of the festival, long after most of the cultivators and their disciples excitedly left for the Capital, he opens the window. He has removed his mask, his shoes and his bandages, feeling oddly exposed in his light white robes. His right eye, red, ugly, cursed eye is wide open, his eyepatch abandoned on the desk.

He stands on the edge, hands shaking as he grabs the wooden frame. Slowly, he turns the other way, facing his pathetic cage on last time. He'd rather die watching the sky.

Then, quiet as a whisper, he lets himself fall.

.

Death hurts less than he expected. He had imagined a sharp pain when his body collided at grand speed against the merciless ground, before his consciousness slipped into a cold void. And then, a blissful nothing.

Instead, Death feels warm and gentle, a caring embrace holding Hua Cheng closely. He can't remember the last time another human being touched at all, least so tenderly, fearlessly. Tucked safely in Death's arms, he can't stop shaking. His skin tingle at the unfamiliar sensation, and he huddles closer to the source of warmth, greedy for more. It feels so good he could cry.

"Hey, are you alright?" A soft voice coming from above inquires.

Hua Cheng blinks up, and immediately wishes he hadn't. A young man, looking only a few years older than him, smiles down at Hua Cheng. Death is the most gorgeous person he had ever seen, shining so gently it almost hurts. Hua Cheng doesn't have much to compare to, but at that instant, he knows without a doubt that this man is the most beautiful person in the three realms.

He tries to speak, but the words won't come out. His chest feels impossibly tight, as if he has forgotten how to breathe.

Death frowns, seemingly out of concern for Hua Cheng's wellbeing. "It's okay, it's okay, don't cry! Are you hurt? Please tell me where it hurts."

Something is wrong. They are standing by the foot of the tower, Hua Cheng's tucked against Death's chest, his knees and back supported by the man's arms. Suddenly he's hit by the very distinct possibility that he might not, as a matter of fact, be dead at all. He feels more alive than he ever has.

Hua Cheng tries to say he's fine, that he doesn't hurt at all, but what comes out instead is a pitiful whimper: "Are...are you a god?"

The young man blinks once in confusion, before he laughs delightedly. Hua Cheng revels in the joyful sound. "Me, a god? No, no, no, I'm really not! Just a very normal disciple, I'm afraid. Did you hit your head? I was so sure I caught you before you could get hurt."

Hua Cheng is smoothly transferred on one arm as if he weighed nothing, while the man's free hand checks the top of his head, looking for injuries. His completely uncovered head, Hua Cheng realizes belatedly. He doesn't have his mask. He doesn't even have his eyepatch to hide his ugly eye. A pathetic moan escapes his lips as he puts his hands over the right side of his face. It's too late, he knows, the man cannot not have seen his shame, but he can't help himself anyway.

"Is it your face?" The man misunderstand his actions as an attempt to allege his pain. "Did you hurt your face? You can show me, I can help."

Hua Cheng shakes his head, so mortified he could cry. Actually, he is crying. "N-No, it doesn't hurt. It's ugly. Don't look."

His savior relaxes sightly. "Your red eye, you mean? I don't think it's ugly at all."

Not ugly? That can't be right. Hua Cheng knows for a fact he's horrifying to look at. His own father can't stand the sight of him. He's so ugly even the gods forsaked him completely. A freak. A monster. A beast. "Don't look," he repeats, his voice meek and pitiful. "Don't look, please."

"Hey, it's fine. If you don't want me to, I won't!" The man soothingly rubs his hair, before reaching out for his pocket. "Here, you can cover your eye with that bandage!"

Hua Cheng stares at the piece of white tissue tangling in front of his face, and manages to grab it with his left hand, his right hand still held against his face. He shakingly ties the bandage around his head, effectively hiding his eye from sight. "...Thank you."

The man smiles. Hua Cheng's heart jumps. "No problem. Do you think you can stand on your own now?"

"NO!"

He could, he knows. There is no need for his savoir to keep holding him, but Hua Cheng doesn't want to let go so soon, despite the fact he could be ruining this kind person's life just by touching him. Selfish, greedy beast that he is.

"That's okay," the young man says. "I'm going to sit down, alright?"

Hua Cheng nods once, his hand clamped tightly on the disciple's robes. The man slowly sits down, his back against the tower and Hua Cheng leaning on his lap. Hua Cheng's head is tucked on the crook of his neck, and his legs are dangling. His bare feet are touching grass for the very first time.

Maybe Hua Cheng is dead after all. None of this feels real to him.

"My name is Xie Lian," his savior introduces himself. "I'm one of the Head Priest's disciples."

Xie Lian, Hua Cheng silently repeats the name to himself, making the syllabes roll in his mind. Xie Lian. The name sounds like a revelation. Xie Lian.

"What's yours?"

Hua Cheng's head snaps upward. There is absolutely no way Xie Lian doesn't know who is. There is only one person who lives inside the tower after all. Maybe Lan Chang lied to him. Maybe the disciple really doesn't know what's sealed in there. Or maybe they honestly think he doesn't look human at all.

Xie Lian patiently waits for his answer.

"My name is...San Lang," Hua Cheng eventually mumbles.

"Eh, third son?" Xie Lian says, his beautiful eyes gleaming with amusement.

"...yes."

It's not really a lie, in the end. He might have been born first, but among his siblings, he's ranked third in his father's affections, by a large margin. He had never met his younger half-brothers the Crown Prince Hua YueLiang and Second Prince Hua Senlin, but he's sure they, at least, are not nearly so hated by their father as he is.

No one is.

"That's cute," Xie Lian generously doesn't call him out on his bullshit. "Nice to meet you, San Lang, regardless of the… circumstances. I hope we can be good friends!"

Hua Cheng's heart is beating so hard he wouldn't be surprised if he broke a rib or two. "...friends?" He breathes out, almost shivering with happiness.

"Yes! One can never have too many friends," Xie Lian cheerfully declares. "Are you opposed to the idea?"

Too many? Hua Cheng never had a single friend before. Friendship, like love, is an unknown concept to him. Something that happens to other people, people who are not rotten and wretched creatures, people who are normal.

"No! I mean yes… I want to be friends…"

Please be my friend, please be my friend, please be my friend. I'll be good, I'll behave, I'll do everything you want, stay with me, please don't leave me.

"Good, good!" Xie Lian pats the top of his head. "Then, since we're friends, you have to promise me something."

Ah. Hua Cheng should have known. Kindness doesn't come free. He has to pay for it.

"You have to promise that when you're hurting, you'll tell me," Xie Lian explains. "Because friends share their pain, so they can make it better. Do you agree to those terms? It's non-negociable, I'm afraid," he adds, not sounding sorry at all.

…

Oh. Who is this person exactly? Is everyone outside of his tower as kind and selfless as he is? It can't be. He has to be a god. There is no other explanation.

"Errr.." Xie Lian says, after a moment of awkward silence. "I was… mostly joking, you don't have to promise me anythin…"

"Okay," Hua Cheng, twelve, stupid and irrevocably smitten, blurts out.

His new and only friend brightens. "Okay?"

"I… agree to those terms," he says, gathering the confidence he didn't know he had.

"Oh. It's a deal then!"

So it is.

.

What follows is a festival of first times for Hua Cheng. First time being outside, first time touching grass and soil, first time running in an open field, first time playing with someone else, first time laughing so hard his face ached.

He has never been happier in his entire life. Naturally, like all good things, it must come to an end.

"The others are going to come back from the celebration soon," Xie Lian says when the sky begins to darken. "We need to find a way to sneak you back inside without anyone noticing."

Hua Cheng's hold around Xie Lian's neck tightens. The older boy is carrying Hua Cheng on his back as he cheerfully skips back to the tower, looking utterly unbothered by the weight addition. Due to his living conditions, Hua Cheng practically has no stamina and exhausted his meager energy reserves depressingly fast.

It's embarrassing, but on the plus side, he gets to be carried by his friend.

"Do I have to?" He mumbles against Xie Lian's neck.

"Ah, I'm afraid so," Xie Lian says, sounding honestly sorry. "The Head Priest will have my head otherwise."

Of course he has to go back. Xie Lian will be in trouble otherwise. He could be in trouble already. If anyone learns about Hua Cheng's escapade, his 'accomplice' will be punished, this is a certainty.

Or worse, maybe spending time with Hua Cheng is really a curse. Maybe he ruined Xie Lian, by touching him without protection, by making him care for Hua Cheng. Just by existing, like they always said.

Yet, unreasonably, greedily, Hua Cheng wants more. More of Xie Lian's smiles, more of his attention, more of his time, more of his everything. Selfish, so selfish, he is so selfish.

"Oh, I've got it!" Xie Lian brightens. "Lan Chang has the key, right?"

Lan Chang? He stiffens against Xie Lian's back. "You know Lan Chang?"

"En! Not very well, but we did grow up in the same place. We have...common acquaintances, let's say. Small world. My point is, it won't look weird if I try to talk to her privately, and that's a good thing."

In the same place? Odd. Hua Cheng doesn't know the details exactly, but he knows the priests consider Lan Chang to be already 'ruined', whatever that means. That's why she in his service. That way, he won't fuck up with innocent people's fate. "Lan Chang said she grew up in a bad place."

"Ah, well, it's...not wrong, I suppose," Xie Lian chuckles nervously. "We grew up in the slums. Please don't think too badly of me, but I met the Head Priest when me and my friends tried to… rob him. Ahh, San Lang, don't laugh! Don't laugh please, I'm so embarrassed!"

"How could I not laugh?" Hua Cheng protests between two hysterical giggles. "You tried to rob the Head Priest?"

"I knoooow! In my defense, I was eleven, hungry, very arrogant and very stupid. I was the leader of a gang of street urchins as bold and desperate as I was. At the time, stealing from the wealthy to give to the poors seemed like a good idea. And most of the time, it worked! My friend Feng Xin and I were very good at beating people up, if I may so myself."

"And then you picked the wrong guy?" Hua Cheng smirks. The Head Priest isn't Head Priest for nothing, he's not going to be defeated by a band of starving kids, no matter how good at beating people up they are.

"And then we picked the wrong guy." Xie Lian nods, making fun of his past self good-naturedly. "For some mysterious reason, he saw something in the wild and feral kid I was, and brought me here to become his disciple. And now here we are."

Hua Cheng knew enough of the world and societal inequalities to know Xie Lian wasn't born to become a famous cultivator's student. It was pure luck that he was there when Hua Cheng decided to kill himself. Happenstance. Coincidence. Chance.

Or maybe it was fate.

"I'm glad he did," Hua Cheng says, before he can process how embarrassing that confession is.

Xie Lian laughs. "I'm glad he did too!"

.
.

Hua Cheng slips back to his cage in the middle of the night like a criminal, an expressionless Lan Chang holding out the door for him.

"You fell, Your Highness?" She repeats the explanation Xie Lian gave her when he asked for her help, her tone dry and dripping of skepticism. "Do I need to condemn the windows?"

Hua Cheng startles at the idea. "You can't do that. How will I meet with Xie Lian again?"

"...Because this is going to be a regular thing?"

Yes, it is. Xie Lian promised. He promised he would catch Hua Cheng every time he fell. That was what friends did for each other, or so Xie Lian claimed.

Lan Chang bites her bottom lip anxiously. "If the Head Priest learns about it…"

If the Head Priest learns Lan Chang actively helped Hua Cheng prance freely outside of his cage, she will be thrown back in the streets at best, killed at worst. There is nothing Hua Cheng can give her to buy her silence, even less her cooperation. Hua Cheng's family is most likely rich, considering their position, but it's not like he has access to their safe. He's not even in the line of succession. In the end, he has nothing but what the Head Priest deigns to give him: clothes, food, books and scraps of attention.

Oh. Books.

"Lan Chang. You don't know how to read, right?"

His servant freezes mid step. She never said anything on the subject, but he saw the way she stared at his scrolls greedily, the way her fingers lingered on his books' cover when she tidied the room. Hua Cheng looks at the outside world with the same sheer want.

"I could teach you," he adds with fake casualness.

Lan Chang stays silent for an excruciatingly long moment, before she chuckles to herself. "Your Highness, you're so… Ah. Very well. But you need to be extremely careful."

"Of course," Hua Cheng nods along seriously, managing to reign in his excitement. He had to appear like an equal making a respectable deal, not a spoiled kid throwing a tantrum.

Xie Lian. He's going to see Xie Lian again. And again. And again. His friend will talk to him as if Hua Cheng was a normal kid, play with him and show him beautiful places, touch him gently, pat his head, praise him, and maybe if Hua Cheng plays his cards right, he'll get to be hugged again.

"This is not going to end well," Lan Chang whispers wistfully.

Hua Cheng scoffs. "Why, because I'm cursed and ruin everything around me?"

"No. Because His Highness is a boy with a crush, and boys with crushes do foolish things."

…

Ah.

"Nonsense," Hua Cheng decides with the absolute certainty of youth. "It will be fine. And I don't have a crush!"

He does not. Granted, his knowledge on crushes and the unknown world of romance is dubious at best, but still.

.
.

He absolutely has a crush. How could he not? Xie Lian is funny, kind, attentive, and he's not afraid of Hua Cheng. At all. He cares about Hua Cheng, which doesn't happen, ever. Hua Cheng is not foolish enough to believe he's anything special, Xie Lian must be so caring with practically everyone else, it's just who he is as a person. But to an affection-starved child like Hua Cheng, it means the world.

Not to mention he's very… pleasant to look at. Objectively speaking. He just is so incredibly, effortlessly beautiful Hua Cheng forgets how to function like a normal human being sometimes.

By no means does this new found interest in another person implies Hua Cheng has miraculously stopped thinking about ending his own pathetic life. His eyes keeps on drifting to the windows still, and his fingers linger too long on his sharp pens. At night, his thoughts spiral down an endless void of hatred, and coldness sinks into his flesh merciless. But at least now he has something to look forward too, a ray of sunlight in the middle of a grey sky. He has the secret reading lessons with Lan Chang. He has Xie Lian.

Every dusk, as the sky bleeds red and gold, Hua Cheng falls.

Every dusk, Hua Cheng is caught by warm and gentle hands.

"We need to stop meeting like this," Xie Lian says when he lets down Hua Cheng on the grass. "Can't you just ask Lan Chang to open the door for you?"

"Nope," Hua Cheng shamelessly smirks. "Where is the fun in that? The excitement? The thrill?"

Truthfully, Hua Cheng never feels more alive that when he let himself slip by the window and rush into the void with the knowledge someone will be there to stop him from disappearing into it. He might or might have a problem, but what's new?

"San Lang, really," Xie Lian laughs, ruffling Hua Cheng's hair. "What do you want to do tonight? I can't stay up too late, I have to wake up earlier than usual to help Shizun with the royal ceremony."

Hua Cheng scowls at the reminder of both the Head Priest's existence and his brother's eleventh birthday. Of course the beloved Crown Prince of Xian Le deserve nothing short of an extravagant national festival to celebrate the day of his birth. Hua Cheng is lucky if he gets one apple as a pity gift. Sounds perfectly fair.

"Tell me a story?" He asks hopefully as he tugs his taller friend's sleeve. Xie Lian's stories are the best, and he could use the distraction. Just listening to Xie Lian for an entire hour is a blessing in itself.

Xie Lian chuckles good naturedly, allowing himself to be led away toward the forest. "Of course, of course! San Lang is so cute, how could I refuse him?"

Very easily, according to literally everyone else. Hua Cheng holds back in extremis the bitter thought from slipping out loud. Xie Lian gets all sad and teary when he says that sort of things, so he just… doesn't. When he manages to recognize the thought as Inappropriate and Awkward before he accidentally blurts it out, which is not that often, unfortunately. Interacting with others is hard considering his lack of experience in healthy interpersonal relationships, but Hua Cheng is slowly getting there. Thank the gods Xie Lian is so extraordinarily patient and understanding.

"So, what kind of stories does San Lang want to hear tonight?" Xie Lian cheerfully inquires.

"About your home!" Hua Cheng immediately requests.

Xia Lian winces. "About my shameful past, you mean? San Lang does love listening to me embarrass myself."

"It's not shameful!" Hua Cheng protests, laughing at Xia Lian's mock pout. "It's not, and I want to hear about it!"

"Saaaan Laaaaang! Fine, fine, but you're terrible to me. This is the last time I ask for your input."

Experience has shown it definitely won't be the last time. Xie Lian says so often, especially when he's embarrassed, yet never follows through his threats. In the beginning, Hua Cheng used to apologize frantically, terrified at the idea he managed to drive his only friend away due to his lack of social awareness. Now he can tell from the way the corners of Xie Lian's mouth curl up and the amusement gleaming in his warm brown eyes that he's not seriously offended and that Hua Cheng is welcomed to keep bantering.

Which he does, naturally. Teasing Xie Lian is his new favorite hobby and purpose in life. Hua Cheng is not lying though. He spent his childhood locked up in a tower with only books for company, the Head Priest's brief visits, and servants who wouldn't talk to him in fear of getting cursed. Meanwhile, Xie Lian and his friends were frolicing in the wildness and fighting for the right to survive.

"...and that's why Feng Xin is now terrified of women," Xie Lian finishes his story with a flourish gesture, giggling to himself at the memory.

Feng Xin, Xie Lian's childhood friend and second in command back when his friend was still a tiny but fearsome gang leader, is a recurrent character in Xie Lian's autobiographic stories. Here's what Hua Cheng knows of him: he's one year older than Xie Lian, he's pretty handy with a sword, but better at the bow, he's fiercely loyal and equally stubborn, he has a crippling fear of all women for reasons not spoken in polite company, and he loathes nobility. Xie Lian's family has always been poor as fuck, as far as he can remember, but Feng Xin's grandfather used to be a respectable member of high society, before he lost his fortune and standing thanks to a political rival's schemes.

"I guess he would hate me on principle alone then," Hua Cheng muses indifferently. He's used to people hating him on principle alone. It's almost better than people hating him because that actually do know him.

Xie Lian bristles indignantly on his behalf. "He would not, of course! Feng Xin is not allowed to dislike my sweet San Lang. Who would do such a thing?"

Does Xie Lian even realize what he does to Hua Cheng's vulnerable heart? He feels himself blush from head to toe so fast it almost stings. Tragically, with his translucent skin, Hua Cheng knows for a fact he does not blush graciously. It's not his fault he never gets to see the sun.

"You'll see when you two meet," Xie Lian adds decidedly, as if his two friends getting along is a certainty. As if it's just a fact Hua Cheng will one day get to set a foot outside of the temple.

"Sure," he agrees with a faint smile. "What about your cousin? Would he like me?"

His diversion tactic works perfectly. Xie Lian shudders at the mention of his insane relative and Hua Cheng co-existing in the same space. "Gods, no. San Lang, don't ever meet Qi Rong, okay? If you see him, run the other way!"

It's unlikely the problem ever arises, but Hua Cheng lets himself indulge the thought nonetheless. Leaving the only place he has ever known to discover the vast world out there, Xie Lian by his side. What a nice dream.

"Gege, I can't do that, he's your family." Hua Cheng's eyes widen dramatically.

"Don't remind me." Xie Lian shakes his head in despair. "I know he is, and that's the only reason he's still alive."

Every family needs its pariah, rich and poor, common folk or nobility. In the royal family, Hua Cheng is the one wearing that proud mantle. In Xie Lian's family, the local plague and shame is his younger cousin Qi Rong. Xie Lian has spent more time getting the blood-thirsty lunatic out of trouble than anything else. He really would have been killed long ago if not for his cousin looking for him and sheltering him from retaliation. With Xie Lian gone out of town, the task of saving the boy from his own stupidity has fallen on Feng Xin's shoulders. And what a pleasant legacy that is.

When Hua Cheng persuades him to speak of himself, Xia Lian has three main lines of topic: what he used to do back in the slums, what he does now as the Head Priest's first disciple and what he would like to do with his life later. Xie Lian is, understandably, both very fond and grateful to his teacher Mei Nian Qing for giving him a chance and has many stories to share with Hua Cheng about the dignified Head Priest's 'endearing habits'. Personally Hua Cheng interprets them as the old man being lazy as fuck and letting his over-competent first disciple do the brunt of the work but whatever.

The other person who's name often comes up in Xie Lian's personal stories is a fellow disciple called Mu Qing, the Head Priest's second disciple and Xie Lian's 'adorable' shidi. Apparently Feng Xin and him literally cannot be in the same room without fighting, and Xie Lian has to play mediator every single time his childhood friend visits.

"They're like cats and dogs, I swear! Not only the fact Mu Qing is a noble rubs Feng Xin's the wrong way, but their personalities are complete opposite too!" Xie Lian laments. "I don't even know why Mu Qing keeps on showing up when he knows Feng Xin is here! It's like he does it on purpose."

Strong with the knowledge romance books and Lan Chang's professional advice brought him, Hua Cheng nods along. "Pulling pigtails."

"What?" Xie Lian repeats, confused.

"Maybe Mu Qing actually likes Feng Xin and doesn't know how to interact with him any other way than by antagonizing him. Metaphorically pulling his pigtails to have his attention, ya know."

Which is utterly incomprehensible to Hua Cheng. The simple idea of Xie Lian being slightly upset with him is enough to makes him nauseous with anxiety, but to each their own. It's that or they are both fighting for Xie Lian's favor, and the idea doesn't sit well with Hua Cheng.

"Those two, secretly liking each other? I doubt it!" Xie Lian laughs at the preposterous concept of Feng Xin and Mu Qing being entangled in a viciously aggressive form of courtship. "That would be so weird, haha!"

Hua Cheng smiles without arguing further. It's like he can know for sure without having met the two idiots in question. And he hardly cares in any case. Just seeing Xie Lian grinning happily is enough for him.

And then there are the plans for the future. Those are quite honestly the moments Hua Cheng cherishes the most. The way Xie Lian lights up excitedly, the way he speaks of travelling around the country and make the world a better place, the way he dreams, so contagiously even Hua Cheng, a cynical and bitter soul who never allowed himself to dream of anything, has no other choice but to be swept away.

"I want to help people, San Lang!" Those are the words Xie Lian says often, with so much conviction Hua Cheng wouldn't think of doubting them. "I want to do good. I want to be a better person. I want all of us to become better persons together."

And for Xie Lian's sake, Hua Cheng wants to become a better person too.

.

.

Here's what Hua Cheng learns from Lan Chang in the following two years.

   1. Shame

"You know, Your Highness," she says, her fingers tracing over the parchment. "I suspected your calligraphy was terrible before, but now I can truly appreciate how horrifying it is."

Hua Cheng scowls at her across the table. He was aware, thank you, no need to rub salt in the wound. His career as a writer was doomed from the start. Unfortunate considering it was the only job he could have done. "I teach you how to read out of the goodness of my heart and that's how you repay me? By slandering my penmanship? I can't believe this"

Ever tactful, Lan Chang does not point out he hardly acted 'out of the goodness of his heart' and smiles knowledingly above her book.

   2. More shame.

"Your Highness. What are you doing?"

Hua Cheng crumbles on the floor at the sound of Lan Chang's voice. Dammit dammit dammit. "N-Nothing!"

"Is that so?" She muses out loud. He can perfectly hear the mocking laughter in her even tone, and it stings. "It looked like you were doing push-ups to me, but what do I know?"

"Get out!"

Xie Lian has been teaching sword fighting to Hua Cheng and he's… not good at it. Weak. This is not a pleasant feeling.

"Your Highness, don't be like that!" Lan Chang has the never to giggle to his face. "You know I support your life goal to sweep your pretty boy off his feet wholeheartedly!"

"OUT I SAID!"

   3. Trust.

"Take the calligraphy pens tonight before you leave," Hua Cheng calls out from under his blanket. "Bring them back tomorrow."

The ruffling sounds he could hear distantly, as if he was trapped in a cocoon of numbness dulling all his senses, cease at once. Under the bandages, the tenuous scars running on his skin burn.

"Alright," Lan Chang cautiously says. "About the windows…"

"It's fine."

The windows are safe. Even at his worst, Hua Cheng wouldn't do that to Xie Lian.

"Should I… stay?" She asks, hesitantly.

They both know she cannot. On the other hand, she's not supposed to help Hua Cheng sneaks back in every three days either and cover for his escapades, and yet. "...Maybe for a bit."

He hears her sit by his bed, feels the weight of her near, close enough to touch, far enough to let him breathe. Her own unhurried respiration is a soothing safeline, in and out, in and out, in and out, in and -

He falls asleep like this.

.

.

"You're in a very good mood today," the Head Priest declares as he takes a sip of his cup of tea. "Why, you haven't thrown anything to my face yet."

They are both sitting by Hua Cheng's desk, reviewing his studies while Lan Chang is kneeling a few feet away, prepared to refill his cup when the times comes. The Head Priest shows up on a weekly basis to remake the protections and pretend he gives a fuck about what Hua Cheng 'has been up to'. Haha, get it? Because Hua Cheng lives literally six meters above everyone else. Hilarious.

Yeah, the Head Priest is that kind of person. Lan Chang calls his particular brand of humor 'dad jokes'. Fitting, considering he's also the only father figure Hua Cheng has in his life. Unfortunately. The cold man who only comes once a year to glare at him obviously doesn't count.

"Not really." Hua Cheng shrugs, smirking under his mask. "But if you want me to assault you old man, just say the word. I would hate to disappoint you."

"Brat," the Head Priest grumbles. "I don't know why I bother with you…"

They both know the answer to that. Pity. Hua Cheng has no one else. For all he was born to rule, has royal blood in his veins and his family's trademark tattoos inked deep on his forearms, Hua Cheng doesn't belong anywhere but in a cage, and Mei Nian Qing is the one holding the keys, the stick and the carrot.

"I'm fine. What crawled up your ass and died?" Hua Cheng gracefully changes the subject.

"You're so crass. Where do you even learn those things?" The Head Priests says, glaring heavily at Lan Chang.

The servant blinks up innocently. Truthfully, despite her exotic background, Lan Chang is very polite and well-behaved. Hua Cheng learnt more by over-hearing disciples banter when Xie Lian and him lurked by the dorms, to his friend's mortification. He even puts his hands over Hua Cheng's ears as if to protect him from 'bad influences'. Hua Cheng always indulges him despite the fact he can still hear, hands or not, and soaks up slangs and insults like a sponge.

"Tell me, Your Highness," Mei Nian Qing eventually decides to say. "On the day of the SangYuan two years ago… did you do something?"

Hua Cheng flinches at the question. Of all the things… On the day of ShangYuan, when he was twelve and angry and bitter, instead of fourteen, still angry and still bitter but irrevocably in love, Hua Cheng tried to kill himself and failed only because of the man's favorite disciple. Not that he's about to explain that.

"How are you expecting me to remember what I was doing two years ago, old man?" He rolls his eyes. "I'm young but my memory isn't that good. Reading, probably? Why are you asking me now?"

The Head Priest's expression is utterly vacant when he says: "The parade went disastrously that year. They only managed to run three turns before the Pleasing-God hero had a heart attack. He didn't even defeat the Demon."

Hua Cheng remembers. Everyone at the temple wailed about the bad omen for months afterwards, as if waiting for the fury of the gods to fall upon their heads at any second. 'If only Da-Shixiong had been playing the role of the God-pleasing hero as he was meant to, none of this would have happened' they moaned pathetically. 'Shizun was too harsh with him, too harsh!' Turned out Xie Lian was lurking in the backyard near Hua Cheng's tower instead of helping at the capital with the others because he was punished for sneaking Feng Xin in and indirectly causing a commotion with Mu Qing that destroyed the refectory.

In the end nothing special happened, and so they moved on to other topic to whine about. So why is the Head Priest bringing the matter up again now?

"And?" He casually says. "Are you going to blame me for that too?"

"I don't know," The Head Priest's eyes narrow. "Did you or did you not do something that could have offended the gods that day, Your Highness?"

Hua Cheng laughs. "I breathed. That's big enough of an offence, is it not?"

.

Two months later, Hua Cheng hears whispers about a devastating drought in Yong An.

Chapter Text

No matter how hard Hua Cheng tried to preserve every single memory he had of Xie Lian, there are things he can't quite recall. It has been eight hundred years after all. Hua Cheng may be a god, but he was born human, and his mind wasn't conceived to remember minor details for so long. He has lost the sound of Xie Lian's voice, of his laughter, of the way the name San Lang wrapped itself around his lips. He has lost the feeling of Xie Lian's skin in his palm and the weight of his hand ruffling Hua Cheng's hair. Those are the precious memories Death and Time stole from Hua Cheng.

Xie Lian's face, however, he will never forget. Hua Cheng knows those features better than his own face, could trace the lines of his cheekbones and jaw in his sleep, the shape of his eyes, the mischievous curve of his mouth. He has the gentle brown of Xie Lian's hair and the pink of his lips imprinted under his eyelids, and the exact shade of his skin carved in his retina.

"The mind is faillible, meek and fickle," the Old Man once told Hua Cheng, centuries ago. "But the hands? The hands know. If you're afraid to forget, then let the hands remember for you."

And that's what Hua Cheng did. He carved and carved and carved until his hands bleed on the stone, until his fingers were pricked with splinters, until his hands learnt to listen to his eye. If memories were meant to sink into the void, then he would imprint them in the real world. He would shape the stone to his will because stone would never let him forget, and he spread reminders everywhere he went.

Somehow along the way, his coping mechanism became a religion. Hua Cheng still isn't how that happened, but it's A Thing now. Hunting monsters is all fun and giggles and blood, but at the end of the day, art is what he does. If he spends too much time without either carving or painting, his fingers begin to ache with the urge to create, quick, quick now, before he loses the habit. Before he loses the memory. After centuries of constant practice, his hands are voracious creatures requiring regular feeding and attention.

Being allowed to do so is a relief, after the restless ruckus of his ascension, the bridegroom hunt, the move to Puji Shrine and last but not least, the improvised trip to Ban Yue. Naturally Hua Cheng's respite from Heaven's bullshit doesn't last more than a few days. It would be too easy. Hua Cheng is starting to think his life was way more comfortable when he was still persona non grata in Heaven.

"If you're here to pay your respects, you can leave your offerings on the altar," he says, bringing out his smarmiest grin for the occasion.

Feng Xin cringes at the suggestion. He showed up in his real appearance for once, full regalia armor on and a bow on his back, looking every part of the proud general he's meant to be and very, very uncomfortable hoovering by Hua Cheng's door.

"You're still impossible to talk to," Feng Xin sighs. That's just rich coming from a man so emotionally constipated anything with a vagina is a source of terror. "Very well. Would apples do?"

Hua Cheng almost drops the plate he's currently washing. The subject of this whole Xie Lian's cult has always been a complicated matter with Feng Xin and Mu Qing. Former humans turning into gods is fine as long as they ascended fair and square but the general consensus is that it's a major faux pas to build a religion off scratch to honor dead people. The fact they personally knew Xie Lian makes the problem even more awkward, and they tried more than once in the beginning to get him to drop it already. They failed. Miserably.

Hua Cheng had no intention to stop for the sake of their sensibilities, and he still doesn't. It's not like he's bothering anyone with his innocent cult of a dead man. They both learnt to pretend this whole religion gig wasn't happening, eventually. It's a very healthy arrangement, all in all. Denial is a valid coping mechanism. Why, it's practically the only one Hua Cheng has!

Which is why it's beyond bizarre to see Feng Xin offers his apples and bows in respect to the temple's statue. Xie Lian did like apples. It's… a nice gesture.

"Hey," Feng Xin mutters wistfully as he stares at the statue's peaceful face. "It's been a while."

"About eight hundreds years, give or take a few years," Hua Cheng says without thinking. He immediately feels bad for interrupting. The moment did seem intimate, but well. Hua Cheng was right there. "So, why are you back so soon?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Your Highness," Feng Xin lies between gritted teeth. "I've never set a foot in this place before."

Sure thing buddy. It's not because Hua Cheng only has one eye left and terrible depth perspective that he's blind.

"Lady Jian Lan sent me," the General adds.

"Eh, Jian Lan did?"

"En," Feng Xin nods gravely. "Jun Wu has returned to Heaven."

Ah. Yes, that would explain it. Jian Lan wouldn't send her pet dog to fetch him if it wasn't critically important, she knows better than that. She could have called Hua Cheng, but didn't trust him not to take the matter lightly and ignore the summon. Hua Cheng cannot blame her for that, considering his complicated past with Jun Wu. Which doesn't mean he's not pissed off to be escorted back to Heaven like an imprudent child who ran away from home, and by General Thickhead too.

Well. If the shoe fits. "Oh, Daddy did? It's Mummy who must be glad. Babysitting all of you tempestuous children on her own must be so exhausting." He beams innocently.

Feng Xin's thick eyebrow twitches in anger. "You! Ahh! You're impossible! Just go greet Jun Wu, be polite and leave!"

Hua Cheng guffaws. Feng Xin is just so easy to rile up, for an irreverent tease like Hua Cheng, it's like he's practically begging to be poked at. And Hua Cheng has never been talented at restraining himself. Not that he tried very hard.

"Fine, fine," he says as he dries his hands with a worn out kitchen rag. "I make no promise to behave though."

"I wasn't expecting that much," Feng Xin grumbles, before glaring at Hua Cheng pointedly. "You're not planning to visit Heaven like this, right?"

Hua Cheng looks down at his red tunic, at his beat up shoes, still dirty with mud from the travel at Ban Yue, and the tiny specks of white littering his sleeve. He knows it's paint, but also knows it doesn't look like paint. He smirks, shaking his sleeves amusedly. "Of course I do. Can't make Jun Wu wait, ya know! What would people say?"

"JUST CHANGE YOUR TUNIC, YOUR HIGHNESS!" Feng Xin fumes.

"Bold of you to assume I haveanother lying around," Hua Cheng tutts disapprovingly, putting his hands on his waist. "Rich people, I swear."

The irony of that statement doesn't escape his notice. Hua Cheng was born a prince, and Feng Xin poorer as dirt, and now look at them. Feng Xin is the one wearing an expensive armor and lecturing Hua Cheng on his lack of decorum and property.

Hua Cheng sighs. He pulls his hands up and gather his loose hair into a high ponytail. "Get there." He orders. Ruoye obediently slides across his skin and on top of his head and ties himself around the ponytail. "Don't make a mess like last time. You heard Feng Xin, we have to look fancy for the boss." Ruoye lightly caresses his cheek in agreement.

Feng Xin blinks, looking so done with Hua Cheng even his anger couldn't keep up. "You're seriously going to greet Jun Wu in a dirty tunic."

"What, still not good enough? I'm just a poor priest, have some compassion!" He scolds, before he remembers about the fancy accessory he does have somewhere. "Oh wait. I've got just the thing."

Predictably, the red umbrella is leaning by the wall, patiently waiting to be used again. A wave of fondness crashes across the shore of his heart when Hua Cheng grasps the handle. Like Ruoye, the umbrella has been with him for long it might has well be an extension of his person.

Whistling to himself, Hua Cheng opens the umbrella and takes the pose like a posh young mistress. "And now?"

Feng Xin rolls his eyes. Clearly he spent too much time in Mu 'Sarcasm Is My Way Of Life' Qing's company. "Just...try not to antagonize anyone important, please."

Hua Cheng fully embraces his young mistress' persona and puts his free hand on his mouth. "Me? I would never!"

.

Sometimes, Hua Cheng thinks people got his moniker all wrong. He's no god of revenge, no. His true power actually lies in repulsion. A trash god, whose stench is so potent his fellow gods physically can't stand to remain in his august presence. Hua Cheng walks in Heaven's golden alleys, Feng Xin hoovering on his back, and his esteemed colleagues scatter off his way as if he was one fat tear of oil thrown in a bucket of water.

It's glorious. No matter how hard Jian Lan tries to turn him into a marketable product, Heaven Officials good folk and him are never going to get along. He winks at Kneecap Guy when he passes by him and fakes a limp, just to be a little shit. Kneecap Guy's friends need to hold him back from launching himself at Hua Cheng to claw his eyes out.

"Your Highness!" He hears someone calls from behind. "Your Highness, please wait!"

Feng Xin tilts his head sideways, curious, but Hua Cheng doesn't stop. Practically a quarter of Heaven's population answers to that title, so he doesn't feel concerned. No one calling him 'Your Highness' ever sounds so sincere. At that point, it's more of a mockery for anyone aside Jian Lan. Hua Cheng was a prince only in name after all.

"Your Highness Hua Cheng of Xian Le!"

This time, Hua Cheng does halt and turns backward. A boy in luxurious armor is standing behind them, the very picture of a youthful and noble warrior. His eyes gleam when Hua Cheng's meets his. He looks very, very happy, a sharp contrast to the two attendants trying to lead their master away.

Hua Cheng arches an eyebrow questioningly at Feng Xin. The later explains: "This is His Highness Tai Hua, Crown Prince Lan Qian Qiu of Yong An and General of the East."

Oooh. Yong An Prince, uh? Awkward. No wonder people were staring at the three of them as if they were the embodiment of a cart accident in slow motion and they. Just. Couldn't. Look. Away. What were they expecting, for the two princes to get in a fist fight in the middle of the street?

Well that wasn't going to happen. "Your Highness, it's such an honor!" General Tai Hua bows so enthusiastically Hua Cheng almost fears he's going to crack his head open on the floor. "Please accept my apologies for not greeting you back sooner!"

Ugh. Weird. Frankly, Hua Cheng feels more comfortable when his interlocutor plain hates his guts. He knew about the crown prince of Yong An ascending a few centuries ago of course, but he had completely forgotten about the matter. The thing is, Yong An Royal Family used to errr… worship him. Him as the god of revenge, that was. They did get on the throne due to his actions after all. Indirectly.

Hua Cheng had hoped maybe the prince would have gotten over the hero worship by the time they met, but nope.

Awkward.

"It's fine, don't worry about it," he mutters without meeting anyone's eyes.

"Your Highness, we have to go," the skittish attendant tugs on the prince's sleeve, looking mortified by his master's show of deference to the local pariah. "Lord Jun Wu is waiting for you!"

Lan Qian Qiu scowls at the smaller man, his excited expression melting away into an irritated frown. "Leave us be. And play your respects to His Highness."

How about no?

"That's not necessary," Hua Cheng forces himself to smile. "I have little standing in Heaven compared to His Highness Tai Hua."

"Compared to anyone," Feng Xin grumbles sotto voce. Which is very true and very mean. It's so tempting to stab his foot with the pointy end of his umbrella. He had it coming really.

Lang Qian Qiu bristles as if he had been the one mortally offended instead of Hua Cheng. This situation is beyond bizarre and Hua Cheng wants out already. He'll take good ol' hatred over misplaced admiration any day.

"Greeting, my Lords," Jian Lan appears like the walking miracle she really is. "My apologies, but I need to borrow His Highness of Xian Le."

Lang Qian Qiu nods along, his outburst of anger passed as he's rightfully awed by Jian Lan's graceful stance, speech and general existence. Somewhere on Hua Cheng's right, Feng Xin shuffles awkwardly, staring decidedly at the ground. Odd. "Lady Jian Lan," He manages to utter, without looking at anyone in the eyes.

"General Nan Yang," Jian Lan says, solemn and grave, her expression unreadable. "Thanks for your assistance."

He bows lowly. "It's always an honor to serve."

Jian Lan technically outranks most Officials, but that's still a very thorough show of deference. There is a history there, Hua Cheng muses as Jian Lian gently but firmly whisks him away, leaving a bemused Lang Qian Qiu and a stone-faced Feng Xin behind.

"What's up between Feng Xin and you?" Hua Cheng asks.

"Nothing," Jian Lan says, in a tone that very much doesn't mean nothing. "Listen, Your Highness. How about you get in, you bow politely, say a few platitudes and then you can go back to your statues?"

Hua Cheng pats her arm. Jian Lan is so worried, constantly, about everything. Especially him. He doesn't know why she's so concerned for his sake. It's been eight hundred years. If she ever did, she doesn't owe him a thing anymore. "Sure, sure! Get in, bow, smile, say some placating crap, get out. I can totally do that. Easy."

Jian Lan sighs. "That's not going to happen, is it?"

Taking into account Hua Cheng's track record, the odds are not in their favor. Still, theoretically, it could happen.

.

Alright. It doesn't happen. To be fair, Hua Cheng does intend to follow the plan. Honest. He strides in the Great Martial Hall with the firm intention to remain as lowkey as possible and get out of there asap. But then he catches sight of his Mightiness, sitting on his throne with his head resting on his palm like the pompous and condescending dickhead he is, and smiling benevolently at the crowd of gods vying for his attention. A shepherd looking down at his endearing and stupid sheeps.

Jun Wu's clear eyes widen slightly at Jian Lan and Hua Cheng's entrance. The other gods go silent, waiting for their boss' reaction.

He smiles warmly. "Xian Le. Welcome back."

And that's the moment Hua Cheng was meant to be as polite and impersonal as possible. Except his mind goes blank and before he knows it, he's skipping cheerfully at the center of the room and screeching: "DADDY! You're BACK!"

The entire assemblée goes crazy. Behind him, Jian Lan spaces out, her expression vacant. Somewhere in the crowd, Mu Qing is trying to murder Hua Cheng via his eyeballs.

Instead of faltering, Jun Wu's smile widens. It's a horrifying sight. "I am. Have you been good in my absence, Xian Le?"

Oh. No no no, trolling is Hua Cheng's thing, it's not fun if Jun Wu plays along. Still, he has no way to go but onward. "When am I not?" He says, going back and forth on his heels with his hands behind his back.

"Hmmm," Jun Wu says, pensive. "That's not what your mother told me, though."

Predictably, his casual declaration unleashes another wave of pandemonium inside the Great Martial. Hua Cheng turns back toward a dead looking Jian Lan and mouths out a heartfelt 'traitor'.

"My Lord, please." Jian Lan very slowly closes her eyes.

Jun Wu waves his right hand dismissively, as if to say 'well, don't look at me, he started it' before he smiles with false gentleness. "My apologies, my lady. I was merely jesting and did not mean to embarrass you. Xian Le's… liveliness is quite contagious, ah." His expression then turns grave. "Enough with the chit chat now. Tell us about your recent adventures, Xian Le."

Hua Cheng grits his teeth, frustrated at Jun Wu's supernatural ability to twist literally every situation in his favor. It was simply impossible to win against him, everything he could throw at the older god would slide over his golden armor like water on a duck's back.

So far, the score went like this: Hua Cheng: zero, Jun Wu: infinity. Hua Cheng isn't giving up on succeeding to defeat Jun Wun at least once nonetheless.

.
.

Here's what Hua Cheng learns during the most useless and extra trial in the history of useless and extra trials:

   1. General Ming Guan, aka Pei Ming, aka Cannot Hold His Pants To Save His Life, might be a dick, and boy ain't he, but he's a loyal dick. After confessing her crimes in front of no less than three Heavenly Officials, Pei Yue had sealed her fate, and everyone knew it. Her mentor could have tried to salvage whatever what was left of his reputation and cast her aside. But he didn't. It's the kind of stupid decision Hua Cheng can admire, if only reluctantly.

"Why am I here again?" Hua Cheng yawns audibly. "The Watermaster and Windmaster could have easily told you what happened."

A good-looking man wearing simple dark blue robes and a stern expression, standing apart from the crowd, scowls at Hua Cheng. The Watermaster in his true form, Hua Cheng assumes. He winks lazily at the man, who makes an expression of disgust in return.

"Your Highness of Xian Le," General Pei Ming says. His stance, face and tone only express polite indifference, yet Hua Cheng can practically feels the loathing radiating in his direction.

Eh. Hua Cheng did not make a friend today. Mayhaps the Windmaster had been trying to protect him from alienating one of the most powerful officials in Heaven when they unleashed the sandstorm on them. That's… nice, though odd considering he has no link to the Windmaster, as far as he's aware. Thus they had no reason to go out of their way to save him from his own curiosity and lack of self-care.

"That's me," Hua Cheng cheekily agrees.

"You're here because we're very curious about your reasons to bring White Sword Whispering Death with you to Ban Yue." Pei Ming pulls the first blow.

Chaos erupts again. Those people really have no chill.

   2. Heaven as a whole is absolutely terrified of Jingji Guan. It's to be expected, with their shared past and that awkward incident with the thirty-five officials who went utterly mad just because White Sword had decided so. That being said, Hua Cheng wouldn't have thought the mere idea of the demon would be enough to make them panic that bad. It's not like Hua Cheng brought the dude in his pocket and unleashed him upon them, jeez.

"Whi-White Sword? At Ban Yue!"

"Impossible!"

"Hua Cheng, what did you do again?"

"It's His Highness Hua Cheng for you," Feng Xin and Mu Qing snarl in unison, before scowling at each other.

"Enough," Jun Wu raises his voice after a few minutes of complete chaos. "Ming Guang, I trust you have proof to back up your speculations."

Pei Ming raises his chin up defiantly. "Naturally."

   3. Hua Cheng might not like it, but it's just a fact Jun Wu is the uncontested boss of this turf. His word is Law. His word is Truth. In many ways, his word shapes Reality itself. Hua Cheng is only alive and allowed to poke tentatively at his armor for the sole reason Jun Wu finds his childish and rebellious attitude amusing.

"Xian Le," Jun Wu inquires, his tone simultaneously neutral and powerful enough to force a room full of gods into respectful silence. "Do you deny the allegation that the person accompanying you was the demon King White Sword Whispering Death?"

Hua Cheng shrugs. "I do not. He said so himself. I did not know at the same time, and I don't see how it's relevant to the case. The evidence against Pei Yue is irrefutable, and she confessed. So, I'm asking you again, why am I here?"

"Not relevant?" Pei Ming repeats, fuming. "It's White Sword we're talking about, you insufferable brat! Who knows how that demon could have interfered with your so-called evidence?"

"I won't deny the insufferable, but brat?" Hua Cheng smiles lazily. "I'm older than your dear Pei Yue, old man."

"That's quite enough," Jun Wu says when Pei Ming takes an angry step forward. "Ming Guang, White Sword's presence shall be investigated later, but Xian Le has a point. General Pei Yue is guilty, and must be held accountable for her actions."

In the end, Jun Wu sentences Pei Yue to exile on the mortal realm. She's getting off lightly considering the weight of her crimes. How nice it must be to have a protector so high-ranked in Heaven hierarchy. Has she been anyone else, she would have lost her head, Hua Cheng would bet on it. That way, she can still repent and claw her way back to her old position give or take a century or two.

Plus, Hua Cheng isn't too worried for her. He wouldn't be surprised if there is an ox cart somewhere down there with her name on it.

"Xian Le. Don't be so hasty to disappear," Jun Wu calls out once it's all done and settled. "I need to speak privately to you."

Oho. That can't be too good.

   4. Hua Cheng can't go anywhere without being thrown into another ridiculous side quest. He suspected so, but it truly is confirmed now.

"Windmaster has gone missing?" He repeats without any enthusiasm whatsoever. "How terrible. Sounds like a you problem though. Unless you're planning to accuse me again?"

It certainly wouldn't be the first time.

"No one is accusing you," Jun Wu smiles placatingly. "A distress signal was sent from a Heavenly Official nearby Ghost City. We suspect the Windmaster, our only official missing aside the Rainmaster, sent it and is therefore in great danger. The Watermaster volunteered to investigate the matter, and I would like for you to assist him."

Okay, if Hua Cheng get this right, Extra has gone MIA and Emo wants to rescue his boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever. Good for him. Except it's Hua Cheng's problem becaaaaause...? Ah. Ghost City is Jingji Guan's territory. And they think what, Hua Cheng's presence would be enough to save the situation should they be discovered snooping around ghost business?

Well. It might be true, with what Jingi Guan admitted before he left, but Jun Wu can't know that. At least Hua Cheng hopes Jun Wu hasn't been stalking him close enough to hear their private conversation at the monastery.

He sighs. "Can I even refuse?"

"Of course," Jun Wu says.

Hua Cheng doesn't believe him. It's been a very long time since he trusted the god. Since he trusted any god, truly. "...Fine, whatever."

He always wanted to visit Ghost City anyway. He heard a lot about the sin den nested between ghost and mortal realms. Sounds like his kind of place. And Jingji Guan did say 'his house was San Lang's should he wishes it so', thus he might as well put that offer to good use.

Plus he kind of...wants to see Jiejie. It's been five whole days already.

Pathetic.

.
.

The Watermaster is waiting for him in the Great Hall, his back resting against a golden pillar, arms crossed around his torso and scowl in place on his stern face. The god would be handsome if he wasn't constantly looking like something died in his mouth three days ago and he still hasn't found a way to get rid of the taste.

Oh well. Some people dig the emo constipated style. Not Hua Cheng, but to each their own.

"Your hand," the Watermaster barks for a greeting, laying out his own arm and opening his palm for emphasis.

Hua Cheng smiles lazily as he puts his hands behind his back. "Sorry, but I'm a taken man. Find someone else to elope with."

"No, you're not." He scoffs. "Who would marry you?"

Who indeed? Hua Cheng thinks of a gentle hand holding his and guiding him out of the sedan, thinks of a warm embrace supporting him entirely, thinks of the ring hanging by his neck. This trip is going to be fun.

He beams. "Fuck off."

"Your Highness," the Watermaster ennouncates slowly, as if he was talking to a very slow-minded child. "Please lend me your hand so I can share some of my spiritual powers with you."

Hua Cheng freezes briefly. It's. No. Absolutely not. Hua Cheng has been managing just fine without powers. He's fine. "Thanks, but no thanks."

"Your Highness, you do realize where we are going?" the Watermaster says incredulously. "This is Ghost City, we can't afford to be complacent. Don't be so proud."

It's not a question of pride. He got rid of whatever crumbs of pride he had left a while ago. Hua Cheng simply doesn't trust himself with spiritual powers, and neither should anyone else. "I don't need it."

The Watermaster stays silent for a few seconds. The guy doesn't seem too stupid, compared to his colleagues, so he quickly understands there is no point arguing on the matter. Hua Cheng won't budge on it. "...You don't even have a sword on you."

Yes well. Hua Cheng doesn't do swords anymore either. He has Ruoye. He has anything in the vicinity. Hua Cheng is quite adept at assaulting people with whatever falls under his hands: chopsticks, chairs, bottles, random rags. He'd rather not ruin his umbrella, but shall the need arises, he can and has stabbed people with it before.

Just. No swords. No spiritual powers.

"I'll be just fine. Stop procrastinating, let's go find out what happened to your significant other."

"My what."

No? Surely Hua Cheng didn't misread the choking amount of sexual tension between the two element masters. To see them stroll around Ban Yue, flirting and bantering lewdly, you might have thought they were on a date! Little did he know it was unresolved sexual tension all along, most likely sprinkled with an unhealthy dose of mutual pining.

"What, have you forgotten them already?" Hua Cheng tuts judgmentally. "This tall, brown hair, very cheerful, lowkey annoying? No?"

"Feng Xuan is not my significant other," the Watermaster hisses. "Merely a thorn by my side. Let's go already. And if you run into enemies, don't count on me to help you."

Yet Jun Wu said he volunteered for the task, Hua Cheng thinks, smiling to himself. Denial, denial, when you hold us. Whatever. It's not Hua Cheng's problem. None of this is cluster fuck is.

.

.

Hua Cheng and the Watermaster's way in to enter Ghost City appears in the form of a herd of ghost women walking together. Hua Cheng overhears one of the veiled women whine about her cheating husband and immediately thinks: 'yep, this is our entry ticket.'

"...and he has the nerve to blame me for not taking better care of myself," she explains to her friends, who all make noises of disgust and sympathy. "Why, I'm not a one hundred years old youngster anymore! It's hardly my fault if my skin keeps on rotting! I'm doing my best here!"

"Sorry to interrupt," Hua Cheng says as he barges in the conversation, not sorry at all. "But I have an infallible tip to help with your problem."

The women halt in the middle of the road to glare incredulously at the bold teen who dared to get in their way. The Watermaster reluctantly follows along, looking like he's fantasizing about stabbing Hua Cheng's smirking face and abandoning his corpse in a ditch on the side of the road.

The veiled ghost with the unfaithful spouse cackles. "Is that so? Well then boya, share, share!"

Hua Cheng grins. "Break his legs. Bitch can't run off to other women if he has no legs."

They all laugh merrily at the prospect, except the Watermaster because he's a bore. And just like that, Hua Cheng is one of theirs. Getting in the Ghost Market unnoticed is pretty easy with their ghost escort. No one pays attention to them as they sneak inside the City. A foolproof plan. Clearly the taciturn god could have never pulled that off on his own.

"How do you do that?" the Wastermaster mumbles to Hua Cheng when their new friends are distracted discussing the merits of their respective facials.

Hua Cheng grins. "Do what? Talk? It's pretty easy, you just open your mouth and words come out. Of course it helps when you actually think before you speak but no one's perfect."

The Watermaster glares sideways at him. "I'm familiar with the concept. I was merely taken aback by the fact you can get along with other sentient beings when you want to."

Reading, why are you not applying those socializing abilities in Heaven instead of systematically antagonizing his fellow heavenly officials? It would certainly made Hua Cheng's life easier to have at least a few gods on his corner. The answer is simple of course.

Because he feels like it. Because they are not worth the effort. Because a herd of female ghosts are easier to relate to for Hua Cheng than a bunch of selfish peacocks inflated with their own massive egos.

He shrugs.

.

Ghost City is weird as fuck and Hua Cheng is living for it. Literally everything inside its walls is an oddball, one way or another: the houses, the clothes, the smells, the food or the people. Oh the people, they are all weirdos in their own way, may it be the merchants, the visitors or the entertainers.

A city of outcasts and pariahs, built by outcasts and pariahs, for the outcasts and the pariahs. Of course Hua Cheng would instantly feel right at home.

"Fresh oysters, fresh oysters! Only one month ol'! Ten bought, one offered!" the fishman shrills, showing off his rotting products.

"Pet spiders! Cute an' furry giant spiders! Those babies will protect yar home an' warm yar bed, an' almost never eat their master! A golden opportunity, don'tcha pass it up!"

"Watch ma boya juggle with ten arms at once!" he hears a matron shriek somewhere in the background. The most beautiful thing is that he can't tell whether she means use his ten arms to juggle or juggle ten severed arms. It's absolutely glorious.

"Ghost City Specialty Soup!" A cook calls out as he enthusiastically stirs his cauldron. "Can't visit our city without tryin' it!"

Hua Cheng peers at the stand, curious at the foul smell. Perhaps calling the ghost a cook is too generous, his 'speciality soup' looks like it could destroy a man's bowels from the inside. It has eyeballs and fingernails floating on the surface and the least appetizing green color he has seen in his life.

"This looks disgusting," Hua Cheng says, approvingly.

"Fuck ya, ya wanna die?" the man snarls at the compliment.

Hua Cheng laughs as the butcher one booth over cackles mockingly. "That? Ol Min's stew's nothin' compared to our Lord's Ten Thousand Years Of Happiness Soup, boya! You haven't lived the Ghost City experience until you tried it and survived to tell the tale, hahaha!"

"Is that so?" Hua Cheng arches an eyebrow. He lived through Xie Lian's cooking, Jingji Guan's soup doesn't scare him. The demon king did mention his cooking was a 'weapon of destruction', now that Hua Cheng thinks about it. "And where can I try such a delicacy?"

"Come back for the Ghost Festival," Ol' Min grumbles dismissively. "If you ain't gonna buy, scram!"

Hua Cheng does so, laughingly. He should catch up with his gang before he loses them completely. He can still spot the Watermaster's tall figure through the crowd, surrounded by giggling female ghosts. Before he can reach his partner in spying, his attention is caught by a flash of white, and he finds himself slipping inside a dark alley.

A flower.

"Hey there." He smiles when he crouches down.

"Don't bother talking to it, it's sleeping!" a prostitute standing by the wall grins a smile missing several tooth. "Look, its petals are closed."

"Oh?" Hua Cheng breathes, staring at the white flower sprouting through a crack between the floor and the wall. Indeed the white petals are folded around the pistil, hiding the center from view, as if the flower has tucked itself in a cocoon. "I had no idea they could do that."

"Our Lord's flowers are everywhere in the city," the ghost generously explains. "But they ain't all active at the same time, ya know? Leave it be."

It's very wise advice. Hua Cheng has never been good at following those, so he boldly touches the top of the petals. Instantly, the flower unravels itself, pure white turning into bright red like last time.

"Oops," he mutters. The prostitute straightens up at the sight, astonished.

"San Lang!" the flower giggles. "San Lang, San Lang, you're here!"

Oh. Wow. It talks. Hua Cheng suspected so, after he heard the voices talking to Yi Niang that one first morning at the monastery, but to see the odd phenomenon in person is quite the experience. How smart are those flowers exactly?

"You know my name?" Hua Cheng asks, curious, while the ghost mumbles something about 'the lord's flowers' and 'sorry, very sorry, ma lord' before she runs off.

"Of course, of course!" It cheerfully declares. "San Lang is visiting the master?"

"Sadly, no," he answers honestly. "I suppose it's too much to ask for not to mention my presence to the master, hm?"

It's not that Hua Cheng doesn't want to see Jiejie, but admittedly, the moment is not appropriate. There is a non negligeable possibility he is responsible of the Windmaster's disappearance. This is his territory, after all. What a mess.

To his surprise, the flower nods its tiny head earnestly. "No problem, no problem! We won't tell the master!"

Hua Cheng chuckles. "Shouldn't you be more loyal to Jingji Guan?"

Incomprehensibly, it says: "San Lang first, master second."

...Uh? Did it mean its loyalty went to Hua Cheng in priority, above its own creator's will? Who decided that? Before he can ask for clarification, a hand claps his shoulder. Hua Cheng flinches and turns his head. It's the Watermaster, staring down at him darkly.

"What are you doing?" He says, his voice deceptively calm.

Hua Cheng stands up, smiling innocently. "Nothing. Just curious."

"Why don't you wrap a red bow around your neck and screams at White Sword to come take you while you're at it?" The god grumbles as he proceeds to drag Hua Cheng back in the main street.

"If San Lang needs help, he just asks!" the flower squeals, waving its petals in goodbye. "We're everywhere here, aye, aye!"

"Creepy, what the fuck," the Watermaster says as Hua Cheng shouts out an enthusiastic, "Duly noted!"

The group of female ghosts are waiting by the end of the alley. That's kind of them to feel so concerned for him, though necessary.

"A-Cheng, where did you wander off to?" The veiled ghost says, pinching his cheek. "It's dangerous around here, ah!"

"Shorry, my bad!" Hua Cheng grins, allowing himself to be scolded like a child.

"Thanks for the help, but we'll be fine now," the Watermaster says, bredugantly bowing his head in gratefulness. Hua Cheng would have never thought the prideful god would lower himself to honestly thank a ghost. Well then. Perhaps he misjudged the god. Just a bit.

"Ah, no, no, you have to visit the arena with us!" the ghosts declare in unisson. "The young master is fighting today! You guys have to see!"

Hua Cheng perks up interestingly as the Watermaster shakes his head in warning. Hua Cheng ignores him, naturally. Arena? Young master? Color him curious. "Tell me more, big sis."

.
.

To put it simply, the Arena is a giant fighting area surrounded by bleachers at the center of the city. Thousands of ghosts and humans alike are already pilling up by its benches, howling at the fighters putting on a show down the pit. Now that Hua Cheng thinks about it, the Arena is another of Ghost City's iconic attractions. It is said that sometimes Jingji Guan himself participe to the fights, and should you impress him enough, he'll grant you a favor, or a place in his household.

Some ghosts wearing similar sober black robes are passing by, talking to spectators and taking notes on their scrolls. Hua Cheng points at one of them curiously.

"Whisperers," the veiled ghost explains. "Lady Ling Wen's minions. They are handling bets."

Hua Cheng makes a 'aaah' in understanding. "People don't seem to be paying in cash, though."

She barks a laugh. "Money? Nah. Lady Ling Wen ain't interested in that, ah. They're paying in secrets, or favors. That's the way of the House of Whispers, ya know."

Interesting. How does such a system even work? Who decides which value a secret or a favor have? Hua Cheng wants to ask more, but the ongoing fight ends before he has a chance too. Inside the highest tribune, a ghost wearing obnoxious red and gold robes starts yelling about the next one, to the crowd's excitement.

"And now our beloved champion, the uncontested master of the Arena after our Lord!" Hysteria erupts in the bleachers at the announcement. "YOUNG MASTER QUAN YI ZHEN!"

The crowd collectively loses their shit as a young man in armor jumps down from the tribune and into the fighting area. Hua Cheng can't help but whistle in admiration. Here's a man who knows how to make an entrance.

"What the fuck." The Watermaster says softly, with a lot of feelings.

That's the moment Hua Cheng notices the shackle constricting the warrior's biceps, proudly in display for everyone to see, similar to Hua Cheng's own manacles. This trip is becoming funnier and funnier.

"Eh. A former co-worker then?" He laughs brightly at the Watermaster's forlorn expression. "We should greet him, haha!"

"No." The god glares at Hua Cheng. "I heard he entered White Sword's service after his exile, but I thought those were just rumors."

"Clearly not," Hua Cheng smiles. "I'm curious now. Who is he and what happened? I'm not up to date with all the juicy gossip, apparently."

The Watermaster refuses to indulge him, the dull bore. "It has nothing to do it with Feng Xuan. Let's go."

"Oh c'moooon!" Hua Cheng protests. "It's not we have a better lead anyway. Unless you plan to just show up to the House of Whispers and ask."

"Don't even joke about that," the Watermaster growls out. "Fine. One fight, and then we leave."

"So generous, so generous. Truly, you're a god among gods, Lord Watermaster."

"Shut up."

The story goes like this: once, not so long ago, at least by their standards, there were two martial generals sharing control of the West. The first was a gentle-mannered man, polite and noble, but very lowkey compared to his counterpart. Indeed the second general was quite the rowdy individual, constantly getting into fights with other officials, or anything breathing and vaguely moving, truly. But he was also exceptionally talented at beating up people, which is a quality people appreciate greatly as long as it's not directed to them. Thus the second general was way more popular than the first, despite being a rough and impulsive warrior, disliked by everyone who knew him and unable to keep a single subordinate under his command.

"I'm going to take a wild guess and I assume the second general is this one," Hua Cheng grins, pointing at the furious looking man currently beating his opponents with overwhelming strength and zero subtlety.

"Congratulations, Your Highness," the Watermaster drawls out sarcastically. "Do you want a gold star for that accomplishment?"

Hua Cheng laughs as he plays with the single red coral pearl hanging by his ear. "I do love shiny things."

The true irony of the situation is that it was the first general himself who brought his rival to Heavens, as his subordinate. In the end, the second general rewarded his generosity by completely eclipsing his former benefactor. Nonetheless, the first general was good and kind, if not very charismatic, and kept a good relationship with his former shidi, despite the constant humiliation the later brought him.

So it wasn't so strange when Quan Yi Zhen offered the man he still called his shixiong a splendid armor as a gift for his birthday.

"Oh, lemme guess," Hua Cheng cuts in, clasping his hands together. "The armor belonged to someone important? No, the armor was cursed!"

The later. The armor was enchanted to force the person wearing to obey the commands of the person who gave it to them. Namely, Quan Yi Zhen. And so when the first general showed up to his birthday celebration and Quan Yi Zhen told him to attack the other officials, he had no other choice but to do so. The unfortunate general killed many before he could be stopped, and was almost killed himself by Jun Wu while the second general stood there, frozen. And that's why Quan Yi Zhen was exiled.

"Hmm," Hua Cheng muses out loud at the end of the story. "It doesn't make sense though. Why would Quan Yi Zhen do such a thing if he was already the most popular in the West?"

"Official version is that he held resentment to his shixiong for the way he treated him when he was in his care. No one who ever saw those two interact would believe it though." The Watermaster waves his hand dismissively. "Quan Yi Zhen was constantly yelling about Shixiong this, Shixiong that. His Highness was the only person he respected in Heaven."

"And the unofficial version?"

"That he never meant for His Highness to attack anyone, it was merely an accident he brought upon himself by being his usual impulsive self. His real intentions for his Highness laid… elsewhere."

Eh. They think the boy planned to force his shixiong into bed using an enchanted armor? "Kinky. You don't believe any of those, right?"

The Watermaster shrugs. "I wasn't there. But does this look like a man who schemes to you, Your Highness?"

Hua Cheng stares down at the snarling youth literally sweeping the floor off with his opponents. "Point taken. He was tricked then?"

"That's what I think. They were all too happy to get rid of him to have a real inquiry on the subject, and he never said anything to defend himself. He could only cry over His Highness's dismembered body," The Watermaster says, sighing. "Quan Yi Zhen never liked Heaven, but he loved his Shixiong more than anything, stupid boy that he was. Still does, as a matter of fact."

"What do you mean?" Hua Cheng asks.

"After his exile, Quan Yi Zhen didn't stop his old activities as a general. He still beats monsters for the common folk, except he does so as 'His Highness Yin Yu's subordonate." Therefore, all the merits he collects goes to the General of the West. Ironically, Yin Yu is very popular right now, at least among the mortals."

Hua Cheng gapes at the ridiculous idea, then bursts out laughing hysterically. "Hahaha, this is so rich! What is he trying to do, win back his Shixiong's favors? Hahaha, I can't even…"

"Most likely. Foolish child," the Watermaster grumbles. "He doesn't realize he's only making things worse by humiliating His Highness this way. Yin Yu is so mortified by the whole affair he can't stand to hear Quan Yi Zhen's name and pretends his shidi doesn't exist. Anyway, that's what I know. Let's go now your curiosity has been satisfied. We're here for business, in case you forgot."

Hua Cheng's curiosity, that ravenous beast, is never fully satisfied, but he nods along nonetheless and waves in goodbye at their ghost buddies. Unfortunately, they never get to leave as another character makes a dramatic entrance into the Arena.

"QUAN YI ZHEN!" The young man who jumped into the fight yells angrily. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Hua Cheng and the Watermaster look at each other. It was, if they were not mistaken, the General of the East under a sloppy disguise, His Highness the Crown Prince of Yong An Lang Qian Qiu.

Well shit. Looks like they're not leaving so soon after all.

.
.

Technically, Heaven and the ghost realm were not at war, and haven't been for a very long time. The most accurate way to describe their relationship probably would be: 'staring angrily at the borderline while pretending the other didn't exist, waiting for a mistake from the other side.' All in all, dealing between Heaven Officials and Devastations is a complicated diplomatic matter, that requires subtlety and flexibility of the mind.

Lang Qian Qiu clearly has none of those things.

"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU! DEBASING YOURSELF TO NOT ONLY WORK FOR A DEMON, BUT TO USE YOUR SKILLS AS SOME KIND OF STREET ENTERTAINMENT? HAVE YOU NO SHAME?"

Privately, Hua Cheng thinks this privileged prince has some balls to dare make judgements on people using what they had to survive. Not everyone is born with a silver spoon in the mouth, and street performance is by no means a shameful way to win one's bread.

The Watermaster puts his head in his hands exhaustingly. "I told him to stay discreet if he wanted to come. I told him we couldn't afford to anger White Sword. What the hell is wrong with his brain?"

"Because you knew that kid was coming?" Hua Cheng says, surprised by the Watermaster's lack of foresight.

"It's his territory, I couldn't stop him," the god answers drily. "And he's five centuries old, not a kid."

He certainly doesn't act like it. Around them, the crowd is rioting, calling for Lang Qian Qiu's head and throwing rotten tomatoes at his head. At least Hua Cheng thinks they are rotten tomatoes. Could as well be a cow's liver or giant eyeballs, considering their current location.

"Who do ya think ya are, insulting our young master like that, uh?"

"What's wrong with working for our Lord? Ain't no greatest honor in the whole world!"

"Kick his ass, Young Master! Show him who's the boss around here!"

Down the fighting pit, Quan Yi Zhen raises his hand and opens his mouth to speak. Respectful silence falls over the Arena. Hua Cheng leans forward interestingly while the Watermaster quietly keeps having his existencial crisis.

"Who are you again?" Quan Yi Zhen eventually says to Lang Qian Qiu. "If you want to fight me, no problem, but you have to follow the rules."

He sounds like a petulant child explaining rules he doesn't really understand to another kid throwing a tantrum. Like a child saying 'wash behind your ears' or 'don't get into fights' because their parents told them to, though they don't get why it's so important to do so. Hua Cheng personally finds this hilarious, but obviously Lan Qian Qiu believes otherwise.

"YOU! YOU!" The General of the East screams, his face red with fury and embarrassment. "NO WONDER YOUR SHIXIONG CAST YOU ASIDE!"

Hua Cheng didn't even need to know about Quan Yi Zhen's tragic backstory to understand this is the worst possible thing Lan Qian Qiu could have said. Whatever strings of self-restrain the former Official had left snap, and the warrior lunges forward with a furious snarl. Their swords collide, creating a wave of wind strong enough to shake the bleachers.

"Isn't Quan Yi Zhen supposed to have his spiritual powers sealed?" Hua Cheng wonders.

The Watermaster stiffens. "Yes. I don't know. It's nothing compared to what he used to have but... We need to get Tai Hua out of there."

Hua Cheng laughs. "Get him out? And how are you going to do that? Leave him, he doomed himself acting like it pleased him on Jingji Guan's territory. Jun Wu will sort it out later."

"I can't do that," the Watermaster shakes his head stubbornly. "We have to…"

He stops in the middle of his sentence, his eyes widening at the sight of the Arena. The sounds of fighting and sword clashing suddenly died down. Hua Cheng peers down curiously, and then up. A giant flower has grown out of somewhere inside the pit, at least ten meters tall, its enormous petals an aggressive shade of white.

"Fuck. Where are the two idiots gone?" Hua Cheng breathes out.

The Watermaster wordlessly points at the giant leaves sprouting from the stem. The green appendices, curled upon themselves, seem to be restraining something inside their cocoon. Or someone.

"The Lord! It's our Lord!" The ghost standing near Hua Cheng and the Watermaster shrieks.

Hua Cheng stares at the top of the flower. A lone figure is standing by the tallest petal, their white robes fluttering in the wind, a hood covering their head and a blank black mask hiding their face.

Jingji Guan has come.

"Fucked," the Watermater flatly says. "We're fucked."

Chapter Text

From Hua Cheng's experience in applied sociology, ie his innate talent to wreck the local ecosystem and destroy the status quo wherever he goes, leaders stay leaders for three main reasons: people are scared of them, people respect them, or people love them. Or they are harmless enough people just don't give a fuck, that works too. The strongest leaders are the ones who manage to combine all three at once: they are equally feared, respected and loved. Jun Wu, no matter how much it pains Hua Cheng to admit it, is one of those, and apparently, so is Jingji Guan.

"That's our Lord, haha! Show that dickhead who's the boss, m'lord!"

"M'Lord, it's not Young Master's fault! That bastard insulted him first!"

"Yeah, that's right! Young Master didn't do anything wrong! Kick his ass!"

"Let's boil him up! That will teach 'em to fuck up with our city!"

"Yeah! Boil him! Skin him alive!"

Standing on top of the giant flower, Jingji Guan only has to raise one hand for the chaos to die down. The crowd, who was going completely crazy with bloodlust one second ago obediently shut up and wait for their chief to make a decision. Damn, that's one powerful aura. Hua Cheng can't help but whistle in admiration.

The Water Master glares at him irritably. Hua Cheng doesn't take the sheer amount of animosity sent his way personally, from what he's seen, it's just the Water Master's default mode.

Jingji Guan waves his hand again, nonchalantly this time. In response to the gesture, the two leaves grow at incredible speed to rise up to his level and open up slightly, letting their contents be visible to the public. The two fighters are indeed kept prisoner within. Hua Cheng is getting strong second-hand embarrassment vibes for their sake.

Lang Qian Qiu seems to be struggling helplessly against the vines tying him up, snarling and bucking furiously, without success. On the other side, Quan Yi Zhen lost all will to fight and is laying bonelessly within his vine prison. Not unlike an opossum faking its death to repel predators. The former general was clearly used to such a treatment, unlike Lang Qian Qiu.

"What's the meaning of this?" Jingji Guan says, his even voice carrying through the Arena.

Hua Cheng perks up interestingly. So this is Jingji Guan's real voice. The cadence is familiar, unhurried and measured, but the tone is different from Yi Niang's or General Hua's. Raspier, perhaps.

Quan Yi Zhen stays petulantly silent, staring at the sky instead of his boss. Or his adopted father? Who knew. Jingji Guan appears to be treating him more like a stubborn child than a subordinate, from what Hua Cheng has seen.

Lang Qian Qiu keeps struggling without answering either. It's obvious the sheltered prince has never been subjected to such humiliation in his entire existence. Hua Cheng has been there before. Better to learn sooner than later that life doesn't give a shit about one's so called 'royal status'.

"M'lord!" One brave soul speaks up from the bleachers. "Young Master was just minding his own business when this lunatic jumped in the Arena and started insulting him out of nowhere!"

"That's right!" Another ghost adds. "Young Master stayed very calm! Told the guy to respect the rules, and didn't attack for three whole minutes!"

"Yeah! That's a while for the Young Master! He made an effort!"

Calls for Lang Qian Qiu's head erupt again, and die down just as fast when Jingji Guan raises his hand again. The demon king trained his people pretty well.

"I see. Is this true, Yi Zhen?"

Quan Yi Zhen shrugs.

"Hm. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Jingji asks Lang Qian Qiu.

By now, Lang Qian Qiu has stopped fighting the vines and seems to have finally understood how much he fucked up. Thankfully, he's not impulsive enough to use his actual power to release himself and ruin his cover, and by extension, jeopardize theirs.

Cautiously, he says: "I'm a visitor and not familiar with the law of this place. I lost my cool and didn't mean to break the rules. It won't happen again."

"Of course it won't." Jingji Guan says, his voice cold as winter. "You have some nerve to enter my city, interrupt my business, destroy my property and attack my ward without any reason, and think you can get away with it with a simple 'it won't happen again.' Try again."

Hua Cheng looks at the Arena. He didn't pay attention, but the two warriors did do a number on the place. Lang Qian Qiu quickly arrives at the same conclusion.

"Ah," the General of the East gulps. "My apologies. I'll pay for the damages."

"Better," Jingji Guan says pleasantly. "But still not good enough."

"What do you mean, not good eno-" Lang Qian Qiu tries to protest, before a vine wraps itself around his head to cover his mouth, stopping him for talking altogether.

Jingji turns towards the former General, ignoring the other man growling incomprehensibly against the improved gag. "Yi Zhen, you did good. I'll let you oversee the reconstruction."

Quan Yi Zhen nods once, and the leaf gently lets him down on the floor. Unruffled by the whole ordeal, the warrior stretches his arms tentatively, then raises his head to glare at Lang Qian Qiu.

"As for you," Jingji says, turning back toward the Heavenly Official. "You will follow me to Paradise Garden. Misconduct deserves punishment. Everyone must follow my rules in my city, from the lowest ghost to the holiest Heavenly Official."

Well shit. There goes their last hope Jingji Guan might not know about Lang Qian Qiu's actual identity as a god.

"We need to go," the Water Master urgently whispers as he grabs Hua Cheng's arm. "Now."

Hua Cheng smiles placidly. "And abandon your comrade to this vile, wicked demon's clutches? That's so cold, Lord Water Master, so cold. What happened to your loyalty?"

"I can't fight White Sword on his own territory," the god defends his merciless life choices, while looking conflicted. "I would lose and it would be a political disaster. If the demon king doesn't kill me, then Jian Lan will. We need to get out of here before White Sword spots us and inform Jun Wu of what happened."

That's sound logic. Who would have thought a Heavenly Official was capable of rational thinking and practicality? Aside Jian Lan, naturally.

Hua Cheng hums in agreement, and then declares: "I have an idea."

"No." The Water Master immediately says.

"What, I didn't even explain what it is!" Hua Cheng pouts.

Somewhere down the Arena, poor Lang Qian Qiu is being wrapped into a leaf burrito while Quan Yi Zhen lets out some steam by kicking rubble angrily. The crowd cheers when the rubble hits their bleacher, turning the unexpected spectacle into an improvised game by trying to catch the rocks thrown at them.

"I don't need to hear your explanation to know it's a terrible idea," Captain Boring flatly says. "Let's go."

Let's not. Hua Cheng ignores his nagging and puts a foot on the top of the fence securing the bleachers. "Yeah, nope. Here's what we're going to do, Sour Face. I am going to go down there and negotiate Lang Qian Qiu's release with Jiejie. You stay here and then make sure that idiot doesn't set a foot in Ghost City ever again. How does that sound?"

"Your Highness-!" The Water Master says as he grabs the back of Hua Cheng's tunic in a vain attempt to hold him back. "Just because White Sword indulged you once doesn't mean he'll do so again. He's dangerous and unpredictable!"

Dangerous alright, but unpredictable? Jingji Guan has always been pretty straightforward. Leave his city and his people alone, and he won't bother anyone. Aside from the occasional Thousand Bloody Flower Field outbursts. Also, that thing with the thirty-five Officials driven insane. Admittedly, that came out of nowhere, but Hua Cheng has no doubt Jingji Guan had his reasons.

Hua Cheng pushes the Water Master's hand away and pulls out his umbrella, spreading it open on top of his head. "I'll be fine. Jiejie won't hurt me. Keep on looking for your bae, don't worry about me. I'll keep him distracted so you can investigate in the meantime."

With those last words, he holds the umbrella in one hand and jumps into the air. A dramatic entrance seems to be the norm around here so Hua Cheng doesn't want to appear to be lacking in that department. So far it's working perfectly, the whole Arena is staring at him drift down in the air in the giant flower's direction, with a mix of astonishment, admiration and indignation. Hua Cheng can't see the Water Master from his current position but he's sure the god is violently cursing him and all his descendants for ten generations for rushing in without listening to his orders.

Who he can see however, is Jingji Guan. The Supreme is still standing by the highest petal and watching Hua Cheng slowly float toward him. Well, Hua Chang can only assume he's watching, with that mask of this. The hood shifts as Jingji Guan tilts his head, and Hua Cheng has an epiphany, right there, eight meters above the ground.

It's Hua Cheng's mask.

Well. Technically not Hua Cheng's mask, that one got destroyed eons ago, but a very similar copy of what he was forced to wear for the first fifteen years of his life. And it's not only the mask giving him unpleasant flashbacks of his childhood, but the whole outfit. The heavy white robes covering most of the Supreme's skin, the bandages on his neck, feet and hands, even the sealing talismans embroidered on the hems are there.

Hua Cheng may or may not be having a crisis.

As a matter of fact, he's so freaked out by the display he doesn't notice he's been drifting too low and is about to fly into the stem before it's too late to adjust his trajectory.

Fortunately, the leaf that was holding Quan Yi Zhen hostage not so long ago snaps sideways to catch him. Hua Cheng lands more or less gracefully on a soft green platform, instead of crash landing below like a loser. It's a win, as far as he's concerned.

The leaf rises up, slowly enough for Hua Cheng to compose himself before he faces Jingji Guan again.

Hua Cheng eventually reaches the petal the Lord of Ghost City is using as a peak to assert his dominance over the Arena. The effect of seeing his own cosplay is even odder from up close, but Hua Cheng takes upon himself to overlook it for now. Repress and ignore, such is his motto. He'll deal with it later, when he's not under the scrutiny of thousands of potential enemies. Or ya know, never. Jingji Guan stays silent, waiting for Hua Cheng to make the first move and set the dance. How very obliging of him.

Hua Cheng lightly jumps from the leaf to the petal and gets on one knee in front of Jingji Guan. "My Lord," he says, pretending they have never met before. "Please accept this worthless fool's most sincere apologies for the disturbance my cousin created. The fault is mine, I was distracted by the fight and did not pay attention to what he was doing."

To his credit, Jingji Guan follows his lead without missing a beat. "Hm. This man is fully grown, is he not? Why would the fault be yours?"

Hua Cheng grins sharply. "My cousin is… not quite all there in the head."

The crowd breaks into delighted cackles at this unexpected development. On his right, Lang Qian Qiu struggles harder, moaning helpless against the vegetal restraints, most likely indignant at the implication he would be anything but perfectly sound of mind.

"I see," Jingji Guan says. Hua Cheng can practically feel the hint of amusement in his voice. "Nonetheless, a wrong has been committed, and a punishment must be delivered."

"I understand," Hua Cheng concours. "Then, if it suits my Lord, may I take the punishment in his stead?"

The people of Ghost City go dead silent. Lang Qian Qiu freezes, staring incredulously at Hua Cheng. Hua Cheng is always happy to make scandal wherever he goes, naturally. However, in that specific instance, he cares little for their opinions.

Jingji Guan takes a moment to consider the offer, and nods once. "This is acceptable. Your cousin is free to go. I will not tolerate another offence however."

"My Lord is too kind," Hua Cheng says, releasing the breath he had not realized he had been holding.

"Hardly," the ghost king denies as he flicks his hand once again.

After the order, Lang Qian Qiu is let down the floor like Quan Yi Zhen was, though less gently. The vines has left angry red marks on his skin. He doesn't seem to care, as he raises his head up to stare pleadingly at Hua Cheng, his clear eyes full unshed tears. Boys.

"I-I...Your High-"

"Shut up now," Hua Cheng cuts in before the foolish man has a chance to ruin his efforts. "You've done enough already. Find your brother and stop causing us problems. I'll be fine."

Technically, it was no lie. Weren't all gods meant to be sworn brothers, or something? Hua Cheng wouldn't know, he never stuck around long enough to find out for sure. And he's confident he will be treated just fine under Jingji Guan's care. Though he still has no clue how to deal with that whole cosplay thing. Or what he'll do if his odd friend is the one who attack and capture the Wind Master.

"Shall we then?" the demon king says, offering his arm to Hua Cheng.

Oh well. He'll deal with the issue when the time comes. Hua Cheng takes the offered arm without a single moment of hesitation.

.

Visiting Ghost City as a nobody vs as Jingji Guan's prisoner is a completely different experience. People who would have bumped into him without a second thought now scatter as if he was either carrying the plague on his face or was the savior of this world. Basically, it feels like being back in Heaven, but with less contempt.

Hua Cheng puts on his best act as a Terrified Prisoner, trailing sheepishly behind the Demon King, until they reach a less populated zone of the City.

"Hey, hey, Jiejie," Hua Cheng whispers as he skips forward to walk next to Jingji Guan.

"San Lang," Jingji Guan answers easily.

Hua Cheng can't help but preen at the acknowledgment. A non-negligeable part of him feared that the whole encounter and following adventure with Yi Niang never happened outside of his head. Or that the demon king was just playing with him, like Feng Xin and Mu Qing claimed.

"May I ask how you are planning to punish this San Lang, ah?"

"Did I not say I would never punish San Lang?" Jingji Guan says, half scolding, half amused. "I only played pretend because you wanted me to. Unless spending a few hours in my company counts as a punishment? In that case, I'll do my best to make myself scarce."

"Nooo, Jiejie, don't do that!" Hua Cheng whines pitifully, tugging Jingji Guan's sleeve like a child begging for attention. "Not being with Jiejie is the actual punishment."

"Ahh, San Lang is still as shameless as ever!" The fearful demon king declares without attempting to pry Hua Cheng's fingers off his clothes.

Hua Cheng lets go on his own, laughing and laughing and laughing. At that exact instant, he realizes with no small amount of surprise, he's happy. Not merely amused or content, but genuinely, unapologetically happy.

It's a very odd feeling, and Hua Cheng has no idea what to do with it. Especially considering the source of his happiness is clearly hiding things from him. Just like Hua Cheng is hiding things from Jingji Guan. Hua Cheng is no expert, but that's hardly a good basis for a healthy relationship, of any kind.

"I think I should be punished, Jiejie," Hua Cheng says in a valiant but futile attempt to ignore the terrifying depth of his own feelings. "It's not fair otherwise."

Houses in this area are bigger than the last, as they progressively leave behind the chaos of the main stretches of Ghost City. The aesthetic was still as weird as the rest though. Hua Cheng chuckles when they pass in front of a small castle adorned with three bright pink towers and the giant statue of a toothy fish.

"San Lang, really," Jingji Guan sighs behind his mask. "If you insist, we could say you're getting punished right now."

"Eh? How so?" Hua Cheng cheerfully asks, putting his hands behind his back, just under the umbrella strapped across his shoulders.

A decapitated ghost wearing heavy armor carrying his severed head in his arms comes out of a sidestreet. The head glares at Hua Cheng for daring to question their Lord so shamelessly.

Jingji Guan nods at the ghost, looking perfectly unruffled. "You're walking."

"I am," Hua Cheng cannot deny the obvious. "And?"

"And I'm not carrying you. This is your punishment."

Hua Cheng freezes in the middle of the street, utterly taken aback by what Jingji Guan just said.

Did he just...like… call Hua Cheng's weird fetish out? Without a goddamn warning? And he has the nerve to call Hua Cheng shameless! Oh, what he wouldn't give to see Jingji Guan's face. He would bet his left kidney the ghost is blushing soooo hard right now.

"Haha, Jiejie, you're so right! How mean! I'll never recover from this blow!" He moans, dramatically putting his open hand over his forehead. "I'm but a poor old man, Jiejie! An eight hundred year old relic! Think of my arthritis!"

"Oh, my poor San Lang!" Jingji Guan exclaims as he twirls backward. "I cannot let my elder's frail knees suffer so, it's simply too cruel."

Oh, wait, his whining worked? Hua Cheng barely had any time to prepare himself before he's hauled off the ground and thrown over the demon king's shoulder.

Jingji Guan has one arm over Hua Cheng's back, keeping him in place and with other holding his legs. Like a dearly cared for bag of rice, Hua Cheng cannot help but notice. He can't even find the inner strength to get offended by the humiliating treatment and laughs hysterically instead, shaking over Jingji Guan's shoulder.

"Feeling better, dear Elder?" Jingji Guan pats Hua Cheng's back earnestly. This devious demon. "How are the knees?"

Hua Cheng playfully kicks his captor's ribcage, still laughing. "Youngsters, those days! No respect whatsoever."

"My bad, my bad! I'll try harder to treat this Elder with the deference he deserves."

Once his hilarity passed, Hua Cheng allows himself to relax and enjoy the ride. Not exactly what he had in mind but it certainly has its advantages. "Hmmm, it's okay. After reflection, I could get used to it. Great view up there," he smirks lewdly, stretching down as much he can with his legs locked.

"What view-SAN LANG!" Jingji Guan screeches, mortified by Hua Cheng's lack of shame. "You're terrible, absolutely terrible!"

In retaliation, Hua Cheng is abruptly let down on the ground. Unfair. It's not like he saw anything, with those big white robes ruining Jingji Guan's great behind. Well, Hua Cheng can only assume his behind is as awesome as the rest of his person. Those cursed robes clearly weren't conceived to show off anyone's butt, unfortunately.

"Jiejie, my kneeeeeees!"

Jingji Guan puts his hand on his mask and sighs exhaustingly. "We already arrived, San Lang."

"We did?"

Hua Cheng looks around him curiously.

While he was distracted by the unusually close reality of Jingji Guan's backside, they reached their destination and are now standing at the entrance of a giant and luxurious compound. Paradise Garden, or the Ghost City master's house. Hua Cheng is not going to lie, he has never felt self-conscious about the trash holes he calls houses before, but he's reconsidering his life choices right now. This place looks good.

Unlike the ridiculously tacky golden palaces in Heaven, Paradise Garden manages to both convey extravagance and good taste at the same time, flirting gracefully between man-made architecture and wild nature. The manor stands by the edge of an eerie looking lake, and almost appears to be floating over the silver waters.

"That's your home, Jiejie?" Hua Cheng asks, in awe.

"En. What does San Lang think of it?" Jingji Guan says, sounding slightly nervous.

Hua Cheng laughs in derision. "I think I feel bad for inviting Jiejie to my shitty monastery!"

"No no, I like San Lang's home! Anywhere San Lang lives cannot be bad." the demon king shakes his head fondly. "Would you like a tour?"

"Absolutely," Hua Cheng says, jumping lightly over the poarch. "Should I pretend to be terrified in front of your staff to preserve your reputation, Jiejie? I'm very good at shaking in my boots if the need arises."

"No need." His host says as he gestures invitingly at the entrance arches covered in flowers and vines. "My staff knows better than to gossip about my business. And even if they did, I wouldn't mind the whole world knowing about our friendship if you don't."

Friendship. The word releases butterflies of joy in his belly. That's a thing Hua Cheng is not used to having. He guesses Jian Lan would qualify, though sometimes she feels more like an exhausted guardian than a friend. Friendship. That's nice. Admittedly, Hua Cheng doubts friends look at each other's ass the way he looks at Jingji Guan's, but he'll take what he can get.

If only the situation wasn't so complicated. Hua Cheng really doesn't get to have nice things.

"I'm fine either way." Which is not exactly a lie, but it's not quite true either. Heaven would be unbearable if they realized how close he is of the Public Enemy Number One. And Hua Cheng could do without Heaven watching his every move, waiting for a sign of treachery to pounce and cut off his head once and for all. Hua Cheng doesn't know why he bothers with them at all. He should have just told Jun Wu to fuck off and suffer the consequences.

He can't help but gasp stupidly when he walks in the Entrance Hall. Despite being raised in a tower and forbidden from ever leaving its walls, Hua Cheng is not stranger to luxury. He's been lurking on this Earth for a while: he has seen palaces of marble and gold, he has seen castles of silver and jade, he has seen enormous temples and delicate shrines and mansions so ridiculously big and extravagant it must have taken three lifetimes to build them.

He has never seen anything similar to Jingji Guan's Paradise Garden.

Smooth wooden floors coexist with patches of green grass and tranquil waters; vines grow unhinged on jades pillars; there are as many paper walls littered with delicate drawings as open spaces to the outside. The flowers, naturally, are everywhere, spread on the grass, twisted around the table legs, leisurely rolling at the edge of the giant green futon at the back of the Hall. Basically, anywhere but within a vase.

Yet, despite the invasion of nature within the house, the arrangement doesn't seem chaotic. Instead, oddly, it looks harmonious. Peaceful, even. A bubble of tranquility in tasteful shades of white, brown and green. If it was possible to fall in love with a house, Hua Cheng would have dropped on one knee and beg for this one's hand.

"San Lang is very silent," Jingji Guan comments. "It's unusual. I'm starting to worry."

Hua Cheng doesn't react on the implication he's a babble mouth and grabs Jingji Guan's hand, staring eyes to mask very seriously. "Jiejie. Can I please marry your house?"

Jingji Guan pauses, then makes a pff sound. "I don't think it's possible, San Lang."

"C'mon Jiejie, don't be like that, hear me out first!" Hua Cheng pleads his case earnestly. "I'd be a good spouse, I'd treat it right! Do all the proper things, everyday! Water the flowers, sweep the rugs, dust the floor, polish the pillars…."

"Ah, San Lang, I should have known you wouldn't miss an opportunity to make an innuendo." Jingji Guan tilts his head to the side, his taped hands curling tentatively around Hua Cheng's slender and calloused fingers. "If you like the house so much, you can have it."

Ah. Hua Cheng knows he's to blame for joking around, but the demon king really needs to stop saying stuff like that so honestly. The sincerity is doing weird things to his heart. "Jiejie, you can't just sell a house like that. It deserves to be taken out on a date first, to be wooed, no, to be serenaded!" He tutts disapprovingly as he distangles their hands. "Anyway, I can't afford it, I'm poor as fuck, remember?"

"Of course you can, if I'm giving it to you."

"You're not serious." Hua Cheng blinks, astonished. Jingji Guan cannot be serious. Paradise Garden is his lair. His stronghold. His home. One of the symbols of his power and a pillar of Ghost City. He can't possibly just give it away to a practical stranger.

"I'm always serious when it comes to San Lang." Jingji Guan says, softly. "No matter how expensive it is, in the end it's just a house."

Hua Cheng doesn't know what to say. Once again, it's a feeling he's not used to. Words are Hua Cheng's friends, weapons and shield. They shouldn't escape him, leaving him raw, exposed and stupid. He's the one who makes people uncomfortable, always in control of the conversation, not the other way.

Luckily, he's spared the struggle to find an answer to that declaration when a dry voice he hasn't heard before does so in his stead.

"I can only wish you were as serious when it comes to your paperwork, my lord."

A woman is staring down at them from one of the high balconies, her arms crossed around her chest. She appears to be in her late twenties, though her stern non-nonsense expression, the merciless tight bun she's keeping her dark hair trapped into and her austere black robes makes her look older. Considering their current location, Hua Cheng would cut off his own hand if the woman actually is under one hundred years old.

Jingji Guan sighs. "Good day to you too. San Lang, meet my friend and associate, Nangong Jie, who prefers to be called Ling Wen. Ling Wen, this is San Lang."

No explanation, no extrapolation. Just. San Lang. As if the Lady of Whispers, mistress of one of the most proficient spy networks in the world, doesn't already knows she's currently talking to His Highness Hua Cheng of Xian Le, local pestilence and technically a Heaven Official.

"The infamous," she drawls out, her expression unreadable.

Hua Cheng beams in answer. "The one and only. A pleasure, ma'am."

She just exudes the big dick energy of a person who would answer to ma'am unironically. Hua Cheng is not stupid, he can tell this is a woman he doesn't want to be on the bad side of, regardless of the strange affection White Sword seems to hold for him. A little politeness never hurt anybody, and no, Heaven doesn't count.

"I thought I said I didn't want to be disturbed today," Jingji Guan says, his tone deceptively calm.

"You did," Ling Wen replies, not bothered in the least by the latent aggressivity. "I have urgent matters to discuss with you. It won't take long, you can go back to your date after."

Hua Cheng waits for Jingji Guan to deny the accusation of being on a date. It doesn't come. Well. Hua Cheng can hardly do it himself. He has a reputation of being an incorrigible flirt to protect, and what is he going to say anyway? You got it all wrong ma'am, it's not a date, he was just spying and snooping around their city with his fellow god until their impulsive colleague ruined everything and Hua Cheng had to sacrifice himself for the greater good, and now here they were. Therefore, not a date. An improvised and friendly kidnapping, at best.

He stays silent. Despite common belief, it's a skill he does have.

"Fine," Jingji Guan eventually concedes. "San Lang, do you mind waiting here for a bit? I shall be back soon."

"Nope, no problem," Hua Cheng says as he salutes Ling Wen. "Take your time, Jiejie. I'll do my best to behave in your absence."

Jingji Guan hums in agreement and makes an odd movement with his hand, quickly aborted. Hua Cheng would have said the demon king was about to pat Hua Cheng's head, before he stopped himself. A bit odd, taking into account Hua Cheng may look fifteen, but he's still taller than Jingji Guan, if only by a small margin.

Wordlessly, Jingji Guan turns his head to the side and jumps up, flying to the balcony Ling Wen is staring down at them from, oozing judgement. They disappear through the door behind, if the wall of green plants opening up to allow them access can be called a door, leaving Hua Cheng to his own devices. Which, as everyone who ever had to deal with him would say, is always a terrible idea.

He takes a leisurely stroll around the Great Hall, still as amazed by the harmonious blend of architecture and vegetal chaos. The entire setting gives off a feeling of openness Hua Cheng appreciates immensely. Due to his unconventional upbringing, he's not a fan of closed spaces, and small walled places gives him hives.

Eventually, he throws himself on the giant futon without an ounce of shame. Jingji Guan used his bed, twice, it's only fair Hua Cheng is allowed the same treatment. Though the difference of quality between the two mattresses is so big it pains him to put his bed and Jingji Guan's sinfully comfortable futon in the same category. Laughingly, he rolls around the futon until he settles on his belly and elbows, his head resting on his open palms.

"Hey," he says to the tiny flower perking up by the edge of the bed. "What's up?"

The flower doesn't answer. Hua Cheng stretches his arm to touch the petal. The flower still doesn't move. Guess they don't all talk then. Chuckling at his own silliness, he rolls to his side and lays on his back. The high ceiling is partially made of glass, he notices belatedly. No wonder the entire room is so luminous.

His eyes slowly close. He feels safe here, safe enough to fall asleep practically out in the open. It's like this place was made for him.

The thought is equally exciting and frightening.

He doesn't know what to think of this entire situation. Now he has nothing to distract himself and no more urgent priorities to focus on, he can't ignore the reality of Jingji Guan prancing around wearing the carbon copy of his outfit as a cursed prince.

It's not that strange the ghost would know what it looked like. Thousands of people saw him the day he ascended. There are many pictures depicting that day, the lone figure in white throwing his black mask to the furious crowd and taking out his sword.

Still. Hua Cheng assumed he had met Jingji Guan during his obscure period as a god of revenge, but what if they knew each other before that time, back when Hua Cheng was still human? He could count the number of people who knew him back then on two hands. If he hadn't seen Xie Lian's soul get blast away in front of his very eyes…

But he did. Xie Lian was long dead, and wishful thinking wouldn't bring him back. Hua Cheng needs to focus on the present, and the reality there is an extremely powerful ghost very interest in him for still unknown reasons.

You must be cautious, Jian Lan whispers. Obsessed with you, Mu Qing's sharp tone rings in his ears.

The sounds of hurried footsteps interrupt his inner freak out, and he jolts up on the bed. The noises are coming from one of the rooms behind the elegant arches to his right.

Before he can second-guess himself, Hua Cheng gets to his feet and lightly walks toward the source of disturbance, careful not to make any noise himself. He enters a corridor, decorated with delicate paper walls and at the end, a young boy carrying a tray full of food. The child is facing a wall of verdure, thick vines twisted around each other with one huge flower at the center. The tiny ghost touches the petals with his fingertip, and the head unfolds.

"Haha, you're late, little one," the flower cackles. "He will yell at ya again, aye."

The child nods frantically, clearly distressed at the prospect.

"Run along then, run run," the flower says as the vegetal door opens up like a curtain.

The boy rushes inside with his tray, and the vine curtains close behind him.

Well. Hua Cheng doesn't even know why he's surprised. Of course Jingji Guan doesn't need to use guards or locked doors like common folk have to, when he has an army of sentient and mostly loyal flowers at his disposal.

Without thinking, he steps forward.

"San Lang, it's San Lang!" the flower exclaims, its petals fluttering enthusiastically, not unlike a dog wagging its tail out of sheer excitement. Cute, those flowers are cute. Hua Cheng does remember they can and have murdered hundreds of people before, but still so has he.

"It's me," Hua Cheng laughs. "So you guys guard the fort, uh?"

"Aye, we do, we do! Keep the bad people away, let the good people in. Does San Lang wish to go somewhere?"

Hua Cheng ponders on the question. He is, as matter of fact, very curious of the wonders Paradise Garden must be hiding within its walls, not to mention the fact he's supposed to look for clues on the Wind Master's disappearance. If he can get intel on JIngji Guan's past, he won't spit on it either. That doesn't seem very reasonable, though. Jingji Guan will be there any minute now. He probably won't be happy if his guest snooped around in his absence, regardless of how unnaturally tolerant of Hua Cheng's antics he has been so far. Dilemma, dilemna. "Nah, I'm good."

"Are you sure, San Lang?" Jingji Guan's gentle voice raises from behind Hua Cheng's back. "I did promise you a tour after all."

Well. Good call being cautious. Kudos to him. Jian Lan would be so proud.

"Jiejie, you're back!" Hua Cheng says as he twirls backward, smiling languidly at the masked ghost.

"I am," Jingji Guan says. Hua Cheng can almost hear his smile. "I hope you weren't too bored. I have something to show San Lang if he wants to see."

Hua Cheng's eyebrows shot up. "Oh? What kind of something?"

"You'll see. It's a surprise."

Surprises and Hua Cheng never got along before. Truly, if Hua Cheng could strangle the concept of surprise and leave it for dead on the pavement, he would without a single moment of hesitation. Ignoring his instinctual reaction of recoil, he smiles and nods along. So far Jingji Guan has been nothing but kind to him, surely it can't be too terrible. Right? Right.

'Wrong!' his inner Jian Lan, Mu Qing and Feng Xin scream at unisson. As usual, Hua Cheng blissfully ignores them. They would probably imagine the so-called surprise is Jingji Guan's secret sex dungeon or something.

Now, that would be hilarious.

.

Here's what Hua Chang learns during his impromptu honeymoon, sorry, holiday in Paradise Garden:

  1. Sometimes surprises are bad. Actually, most of the time, surprises are the fucking worst, as previously stated. Occasionally, every full moon if the stars are aligned the proper way, surprises don't suck too much. In fact, they can be good. Very good. Hua Cheng never experienced the phenomenon himself, so he had no clue it could be this way.

"The Paper Tower?" Hua Cheng repeats dazedly, having an out of body experience as they stand in front of one of the biggest libraries in the world. "That's your surprise?"

Not a sex dungeon then. Hua Cheng never thought he'd say so one day but clearly this is superior to whatever kinky fantasies he could have come up with.

"Yes," Jingji Guan says, sounding very amused by the stupid expression Hua Cheng must be making right now.

"And I can… visit it?" Hua Cheng asks as he touches the door handle reverently.

"No, I brought San Lang here so he can admire the door," the demon king drawls out. Mean. Hua Cheng's brain is too busy having an internal meltdown to process sarcasm right now. "Of course you can!"

Well then. Hua Cheng won't need to be told twice.

   2. It's in fact possible to suffer of hype overdose and if dying of excitement wasn't just an expression, Hua Cheng's soul would have ascended to another plane of existence the second he entered the library. The Paper Tower is a literal tower. As in, several stories in a spiral, all dedicated to preserve hundreds of thousands of books.

"Can I touch them?" Hua Cheng says, his fingers twitching in anticipation.

"Naturally."

"And open them?"

"I don't know, San Lang, can you?" Jingji Guan laughs. Hua Cheng's delight seems to have infected him by osmosis. "What's the point to have books if not to touch and open them? Why, you can even read them."

Hua Cheng is about to explain what a bad idea that is, as should he start reading, he might never stop and Jingji Guan would have to deal with his dehydrated corpse, but a cough cuts in before he has a chance to.

"No, you can't. Some of those books are centuries old, brat."

   3. Every library needs its grumpy librarian, who's main purpose in life seems to be to hiss at people to shut the fuck up already and sneer at the intruders who dare to co-exist in the same universe as their precious books. As expected for a library of such a caliber, Paper Tower's librarian is a formidable guardian. The man came in from one of higher stories, clouded in shadows as you do, and has mastered the art of staring coldly as if he's wondering how long it would take for the police to find Hua Cheng's corpse after he left it at the back of the reserve and if human decomposition in the vicinity would hinder his books' well being.

"What are doing you here?" Jingji Guan says to the man, irritation replacing his previous cheerfulness. "I gave orders to empty the Paper Tower today."

The librarian, who despite his natural tendency to act like a old man yelling at young rascals to get off his lawn doesn't look a day over thirty, frowns at them. "You did? I heard nothing of the sort."

Jingji Guan exhales quietly. "What's wrong with my staff today… Nevermind. You can go now."

At the order, the librarian stiffens, scowling at Hua Cheng like he would a shit stain under his shoe. Hua Cheng cheerfully smiles in return. "My Lord. If I may object…"

"You may not," Jingji Guan waves his hand dismissively. "It's still my library, is it not? I built and own the place, I collected the books myself..."

Hua Cheng perks up at the discovery. Back on the ox cart they met, Yi Niang did say she was a book hunter, but after the revelation of her actual identity, he assumed it was part of Jingji Guan's cover story. Gathering such a collection on his own must have taken literal centuries. Jingji Guan has to love books very much to commit so intensely to the cause, perhaps even more than Hua Cheng himself does.

The librarian has the presence of mind to quickly backpedal at his boss' growing annoyance. "Of course. I'm merely advising caution considering the fragility of those volumes…"

"San Lang loves books as much as you do, if not more," Jingji Guan interrupts the incoming rant on the care of ancient parchments and how a trash god like Hua Cheng could irremediably damage them just by looking at them. He repeats in a calm but firm tone that leaves no room for interpretation: "You may go now."

The librarian does so. Wise choice.

   4. To his astonishment, Hua Cheng still possesses the ability to get so distracted and absorbed he'll completely forget when and where he is. To lose track of his surrounding so thoroughly implies a degree of trust he hasn't felt in a very, very long time. Even when he's focusing on his art, a part of him stays on guard, prepared to fight and flee shall the need arises.

"San Lang?" Jingji Guan's gently concerned voice snaps him out of his trance. "Are you hungry?"

Hua Cheng raises his head, blinking confusedly at Jingji Guan. He realizes that one, he has no idea how much time has passed since he started reading, and two, he is actually starving. It's night now, daylight has been replaced by the gentle glow of paper lanterns, and Hua Cheng didn't notice. "Jiejie. Why didn't you kick me or something?"

"Why would I do that?" the Demon King asks, tilting his head to the side bemusedly.

"It must have been so boring to just watch me read for hours." Hua Cheng frowns to himself.

"It wasn't," his host denies. "San Lang was having fun. Therefore, so was I. It is very late though, perhaps San Lang would like to have dinner now?"

His belly makes an enthusiastic rumbling sound at the prospect of food. Hua Cheng has no other choice but to laugh goodnaturedly at his own body's betrayal. He smiles slyly: "hmm, is Jiejie going to cook for me?"

"Goodness, absolutely not. We previously established my cooking is too toxic for human consumption, San Lang. You do not want to eat that."

Hua Cheng laughs as he stretches out his stiff limbs. "You said so, I never agreed, Jiejie. I was told the Lord's cooking is an indispensable part of the full Ghost City experience. Do you want to deprive me of the full Ghost City experience, uh?"

"San Lang, really." Jingji Guan shakes his head. "The 'full Ghost City experience', as you say, involves dying."

Bah. As if dying was the worst thing that could happen to Hua Cheng.

.

Naively, Hua Cheng assumed Paradise Garden has reach peak beauty already and couldn't possibly get any cooler. Joke's on him, because that house isn't done amazing him yet. If Paradise Garden is beautiful at day, it becomes positively enchanting by night.

"Are you sure you won't let me marry your house?" Hua Cheng says as he looks at the lake below, its dark surface gleaming under the moonlight and the gentle glow of the myriad of will-o-the-wisps dancing playfully above the water. "I'll even accept to become a mere concubine."

"San Lang, we talked about this," Jingji Guan chuckles, his hands wrapped together on the table. "Although I'm flattered you think so highly of my house, you cannot get married to a building. I'm surprised you haven't asked Paper Tower's hand yet."

Hua Cheng laughs at the idea. "Jiejie, what are you saying? I'm not worthy enough to even consider asking your library's hand."

At this display of self-depreciation, Jingji Guan makes a disagreeing sound, but decides not to vocalize his protests. Ever curious, Hua Cheng leans backward to stare at the ceiling. Once again, the flowers have colonized the room by twisting themselves around the wooden beams and climbing over the jade pillars. Hua Cheng feels like he's sitting under a luxuriant field in reverse.

A cohort of servants in prim grey robes enters the dining room, carrying enough food to feed an army for three days. Hua Cheng goes back to sit more or less properly, tucking his knees under the table and his hands over it. He peers at the countless plates put on the long table, and notices with half relief half disappointment it looks like perfectly normal human food. Where are the eyeballs, raw liver and other appetizing Ghost City specialties he has seen on the market?

"Thank you." He smiles at the female ghost respectfully presenting chopsticks to him as if those were priceless artefacts. "Just us then?"

"Hm, yes," Jingji Guan says. "Regular meals is a concept Ling Wen doesn't not apply to her lifestyle, A-Su hasn't recovered yet and still sleeps most of the time, and after what happened today, I suspect Yi Zhen stormed out of the city already. He has yet to learn to deal with confrontations with his past serenely."

Hua Cheng is not about to throw the first stone at the boy for that. Himself still gets triggered very easily at the mention of Xie Lian, even after literal centuries.

"Young master left one hour ago," a servant confirms. "He said there is unrest in the southwest."

"I see," Jingji Guan sighs. "Make sure to bring a meal to Ling Wen. Force feed her if necessary."

Hua Cheng smirks at the deadpan expression on the poor servant's face. Looks like it's not the first time Paradise Garden's staff get stuck in the crossfire of their two masters' selfcare war.

"I'll do my best, my lord." The ghost bows both to Hua Cheng and Jingji Guan, and exits the room with the rest of his squad.

Without bothering to wait for further encouragement, Hua Cheng helps himself with what seems like pork and rice. Still no eyeballs. He'll just have to accept the fact he's not going to get the full Ghost City Experience with Jingji Guan breathing down his neck and actively advocating for his health. On the plus side, the meals look incredibly good. And tastes just as good, Hua Cheng notices with no small amount of surprise. Those ghosts people know the good kush.

"That'sh sho good," Hua Cheng says, moaning around his mouthful of fried rice. "Jiejie, you're not eating?"

Jingji Guan has been staring pointedly at his own plate without moving. "I'm… not hungry right now.

Dammit. Hua Cheng has been hoping he'd get an opportunity to see under the mask. Oh well. Hua Cheng can eat for two. Prince Hua Cheng used to be a picky eater, barely touching his plate and constantly flirting on the edge of starvation. Eight hundreds years old hobo Hua Cheng, who's closely acquainted with actual starvation, knows better than to look a gifted horse in the mouth.

"Speaking of buildings I'm not allowed to marry," Hua Cheng suddenly says after he finished stuffing himself. "I heard there is a giant temple in the City…"

Under Hua Cheng's sleeve, Ruoye unravels tentatively, asking for permission to come out and play. Considering the cursed bandage has been standing still obediently for hours despite all the excitement, a miracle in and by itself, Hua Cheng lets it unwrap itself from his arm and slide over the table. Jingji Guan holds his hand open invitingly, and Ruoye, that impulsive child, pounces over it without a hint of shame.

"There is," the demon king agrees, his tapped finger tickling a blissed out Ruoye.

Jingji Guan is not going to be forthcoming on this one, is he? "Can I visit it?" Hua Cheng keeps poking at the matter nonetheless.

"Naturally. It's your temple, after all."

Simple, factual, to the point. As if it's obvious Hua Cheng can just waltz in there, without any question asked. Which is true enough, he guesses. The thing is, Hua Cheng is not used to have conventional temples of his own. As in, as far as he know, he never had one. Godhood and Hua Cheng never got along, and he spent the last centuries trying to ignore the fact he was still technically a god. A god in exile, effectively powerless, but a god nonetheless.

"And I heard it's the only temple allowed," Hua Cheng adds with calculated nonchalance.

"That's also true," Jingji Guan hums. "My people are free to worship as they wish, only not within the city. Granted, few still do."

Hua Cheng smiles wryly. "I bet."

In many ways, Gods are the fathers of adults. Just like children grow up to understand the parent they idolized is as full of shit as the rest of humankind, most ghosts lost all faith in the gods they used to worship. In the end, they always disappoint by their inherent fallibility. In the end, they inevitably let you down.

"Does it bother San Lang?" Jingji Guan asks softly. "The temple. The… mask."

The mask, and all the rest. Ah. Yeah, they had to talk about the elephant in the room at some point. "I don't know. It's a bit weird, I'm not going to lie," he says, pensively. "It does bother me I have no idea what I did to earn Jiejie's high regards. I suppose you're still not inclined to share?"

Jingji Guan shakes his head, Ruoye rolling under his sleeve comfortingly. "I'm sorry San Lang, I'm not. I understand if it makes San Lang uncomfortable though."

Well. Hua Cheng would be an hypocrite to criticize on the whole temple gig, with the way he consecrated his life to turn his long dead friend into a god. And he likes Jingji Guan enough to make concessions where he probably shouldn't. Ain't that terrifying.

"Jiejie, you ask so much of me," the words slip out of his throat before Hua Cheng can force them back inside. "It's not that I don't want to, but how can I trust you so easily?"

If Hua Cheng ever had faith in humankind, that blind hope has been annihilated before he saw his tenth birthday, and the rest of his life proved him right. It's not that Hua Cheng doesn't believe in kindness though, despite his natural inclinaison to cynicism. He has seen it too many times not to, has even been the recipient of it on multiple instances. There was Jian Lan, who has never really stopped looking over him in centuries in spite of Hua Cheng telling her not to. There was the Head Priest, who's gruff attentiveness Hua Cheng did not know how to appreciate at the time. There was the Old Man who took a trash god off the ground and gave him an umbrella and a reason to live for no other reason that he could. There were the many strangers who let them him into their home and fed him without asking for anything in return but basic respect.

Hua Cheng knows of kindness, he really does, but he also know of selfishness, cruelty and worst of all, indifference. Sadly, from his personal experience, those outweigh altruism by far. Kindness grows despite human nature, not because of it. At best, it manages to exist if the cost of being generous to others doesn't ask too much of the giver. At worst, it serves a purpose. There was only Xie Lian who was kind to everyone just because, regardless of the cost to himself. And he paid the price for his selflessness twice over.

Ergo, Hua Cheng can't help but believe Jingji Guan wants something from him. Which is fine. Lot of people want something of him. It's not knowing what that scares him. It's the fact a non-negligeable part of him just wants to keep basking in Jiejie's incomprehensible kindness without asking questions that scares him most.

And here went his resolution to go with the flow and not question things until he left the Supreme's territory. His bad.

"I'm afraid I cannot give San Lang irrefutable proof of my trustworthiness," Jingji says, sounding miserable. "I can only allow hope you will allow me to show my intentions are genuine. But I understand if you won't."

"And what are those intentions exactly?" Hua Cheng asks, smiling sharply. The ring tucked around his neck weighs heavily. "To make me happy? For no other reason than that?"

"Yes." No hesitation, not a single sign of doubt.

Hua Cheng can't believe it. "I can't believe it. The world doesn't work like that. Not when it comes to me, at least. Also, Jiejie," he says, leaning on the table languidly, "what reason do you have to trust me?"

Frankly, it's obvious Hua Cheng was up to no good sneaking into the city and indirectly brewing trouble. Yet Jingji Guan asked no questions on the matter of his presence in his lair, merely accepting it as a fact of life and moving on accordingly. It's suspicious.

To prove his point, Hua Cheng flicks his wrist lazily. Ruoye, who was nested somewhere inside Jingji Guan's sleeve, slides up towards the demon's head, moves across his arm then his chest and wraps itself around his neck. Hua Cheng taught the cursed bandage to answer non-verbal commands a while ago, just in case.

He's such an idiot. There is no way a powerless god like him can kill a calamity so easily, at the center of his territory. He doesn't even want to, but his dumb ass can't resist the urge to probe and test boundaries and push people who pretend to be selfless to the edge, just to prove them wrong. Just to prove they don't actually give a shit about Hua Cheng.

Jingji Guan calmy touches the end of Ruoye and caresses the blood red cloth without trying to remove it. Above them, the flowers on the ceiling are unresponsive, completely indifferent to the threat on their master's life.

"I don't need a reason." Jingji Guan eventually says, his voice raspier than before. "San Lang may do what he wants of my life. Whatever is left of it, at least."

Hua Cheng blinks slowly. And then laughs. Laughs hysterically, laughs crazily, laughs like he would sob if he had any tears left to. How can he possibly react to that?

"Oh, Jiejie, you're so… I can't even with you, haha!"

Ruoye unfolds from his tight hold on Jingji Guan's neck, pointedly ignoring Hua Cheng. Looks it's not very happy with what Hua Cheng required of it. Relatable. It will get over the issue soon enough.

"Is San Lang satisfied then?" Jingji Guan casually asks, unbothered by the attempted strangulation threat on his person.

"Not really, but I'll live," Hua Cheng shrugs. "Jiejie shouldn't let me do whatever I want. I'm too greedy not to take advantage."

"So San Lang says."

He laughs again. "I really am! Why, I'm greedy enough to request to sleep with Jiejie!"

Just like that, the heavy tension weighing on them disappears. "S-SAN LANG!" Jingji Guan stutters loudly. Apparently death threats won't faze him, but the idea of sharing a bed does - or at least how indecent Hua Cheng would get about it.

"What? It's not like we never shared a bed before!" Hua Cheng points out, pensively. "Unless Jiejie thought I meant something else…"

"SAN LANG! You're sleeping in the guest room, the guest room!"

.
.

"Before you abandon me, I have one last question."

"Aban-" A sigh. "What is your question?"

"What am I supposed to do with that?" A clinging sound, as the ring is exposed.

"... Whatever you want, San Lang. It won't hurt you, I promise."

"That's not helpful, Jiejie. Is it important?"

"For some people, I suppose it is. It's debatable."

"Jiejie."

"San Lang."

.

.
To be honest, Hua Cheng is not even surprised to find an unwelcome addition to the guest room he has been given. He knew he should have insisted more to sleep with Jiejie.

"So," He Xuan drawls out from the window ledge he's sitting on, looking dramatic as hell under the moonlight. "Did you have enough fun, Your Highness?"

Ugh. Captain Boring is back to town, and he's clearly intending to share the opinions Hua Cheng didn't ask for. What a joy. 

Chapter Text

Some people look like they were born to become gods. Jun Wu is the perfect exemple, with his noble countenance and his noble attitude and his goddamn noble everything. Af if Fate itself crafted him to be the literal incarnation of a Heavenly Emperor, and he knows it.

On the other hand, Hua Cheng is the exact opposite. He would be damned if his ascension wasn't some sort cosmic prank all along. All his ascensions. Fate must have been either bored and feeling playful or drunk out of their mind when they glanced at the irreverent and faithless prince he used to be, and arguably still is, and thought; 'yeah, this is excellent god material right there, let's yeet him upstairs and see what happens.'

At first glance, Hua Cheng assumed the Water Master was one of those prissy dickheads prancing around Heaven, convinced they earned their place here fair and square because they were superior human beings instead of entitled prats who got lucky once. In retrospect, the guy might actually be sort of decent, though still irritating and condescending. There is just a spark of defiance under the polished god persona that Hua Cheng must acknowledge the existence of.

It doesn't mean Hua Cheng is happy to find the fucker here, far from it.

"If I can't be free of Heavenly Officials in a Calamity's house, where can I?" Hua Cheng sighs as he takes an unhurried stroll around the room. "You people are awfully clingy."

The so called guest room is at least three times as big as his Puji monastery and is divided into two parts. The bedroom is set apart from the rest by red silk curtains and pearl beads. The wooden floor sings when Hua Cheng skips down the three stairs leading to the center, inspecting the pool full of tranquil water. He crouches down and touches the water with the tip of his fingers.

"At some point, you'll have to accept you're one of those clingy Heavenly Officials now, Your Highness," He Xuan snorts.

"Never," Hua Cheng shudders at the reminder of his recently reestablished status. "How did you get there without getting caught?"

"Water Master's trade secret. I could tell you but then I would have to kill you." The god casually declares as he pulls out a knife out of his pocket and play with the blade for emphasis. He couldn't be more needlessly dramatic if he tried.

"Don't threaten me with a good time if you don't intend to deliver." Hua Cheng smiles placidly. "Whatever. Why are you here then? I told you to leave me be and look for your significant other. The Wind Master won't find himself on his own, will he?"

The Water Master scowls at him. "For the last time, that annoying pest is not my anything. And I'm not here for you. As far as I'm concerned, you can keep being pampered like a young mistress by your sugar daddy, I don't give a fuck."

Ah, Jingji Guan being Hua Cheng's sugar daddy, what a joke! Well, from an external point of view, it's not an irrational conclusion to come up with. The supreme would be so offended by the crass implications though. Hua Cheng just thinks it's hilarious. "Well then? Why don't you go don't give a fuck elsewhere?"

"I'd love to Your Highness, believe me," the Water Master says. "Unfortunately I have good reasons to think Feng Xuan is held captive inside Paradise Garden."

To be honest, Hua Cheng wouldn't be surprised. Jingji Guan is fair, but he's no angel and he has a position to maintain. He stands up, casting a glance at the room. The rest of the furniture, spread around the central pool, is mostly composed of a fancy writing desk, shelves covered in books and trinkets, a few pillows disseminated strategically and one gloriously red long chair. He skips towards the later and hops over it.

"Is that so? What kind of reasons?" Hua Cheng yawns as he lays across the long chair languidly, feigning boredom.

He Xuan glares at his indignified position and takes the decision not to comment. Good choice. "I have heard some people in the Ghost City mention the fact their Lord was in a terrible mood recently. Apparently White Sword's 'good friend' hasn't shown up in a while."

"And? Could be anyone." Hua Cheng says, very reasonably.

"They described a cheerful woman who often convinced the Lord to use a female fake skin and dragged him to parties," He Xuan deadpans. "Who else could it be?"

Oho, someone is sounding bitter, Hua gleefully thinks. So much for the Water Master's 'I don't give a fuck about that guy' attitude. "Lots of people, actually. Is that all you've got?"

"No. Feng Xuan has always been prone to disappear for long periods of time, but this last few years, he's been gone even more often. And he's regularly having tea with Jian Lan, something he didn't do before."

Ah. Interesting. "So you think the Wind Master was spying on Jingji Guan for Heaven?"

"En. I'm almost sure it's the case. Feng Xuan is very good at pretending to be stupider than he actually is, and very good at making friends with people who don't want any. Before you say anything, no I'm not referring to myself."

Hua Cheng closes his mouth. Sounds fake to him but whatever. "Sure. And your theory is that his cover got blown over at Ban Yue."

"Yes. It was my idea to come to Ban Yue, after I heard disturbing rumors regarding the caravan disappearances. It went on so long because General Ming Guang has been warning Officials not go there. He doesn't scare me though, and someone had to do something," He Xuan scoffs, full of righteousness. "How could we have known His Highness and White Sword would show up there?"

Hua Cheng ignores the implied accusation. "In retrospect, I wondered if you knew he was there, and that's why the Wind Master sent that sandstorm on us."

"Of course we didn't. We just thought that His Highness getting involved with that mess would only create problems for himself."

So that's what happened back then. Hua Cheng thought so, yet found himself still quite confused by their motivations. They tried to keep him away from Ban Yue so he wouldn't get on General Pei Ming's bad side, which, nice, but why the fuck would they care?

"I see," he says. He really doesn't. "Something doesn't make sense though. Why would the Wind Master come back to Ghost City, if he knew his real identity had been exposed?"

"Knowing Feng Xuan, he either thought White Sword didn't recognize him or that he could salvage the situation," He Xuan growls, exasperated. "The fool. Jingji Guan has no mercy for traitors. Everyone knows that. If they were actually friends, it's even worse."

Hua Cheng hums along. It does make sense. Feng Xuan came back to Ghost City, things went wrong, he managed to escape long enough to send the signal before Jingji Guan caught him and dragged him back.

"That's all I've got," He Xuan says as he finally raises from the window ledge to pace around the pool. "What about you? Unless you were so busy being lovey dovey with a demon you forgot about your mission?"

Truthfully, between the house, the Paper Tower and the cosplay thing, finding their guy was so low on Hua Cheng's list of priorities it barely counted. "I can tell you the Wind Master isn't in the library. Probably."

"Helpful. That only leaves the rest of the compound then," He Xuan deadpans. "Easy."

"Oh, I know. Helpful might as well be my middle name," Hua Cheng cheerfully declares, pretending the sarcasm flew right over his head. "By the way, what did you do with Lan Qian Qiu."

The Water Master winces at the reminder. "I couldn't get him to leave, he was too concerned for your sake. 'His Highness could be tortured right now,' he said. Little did he know you were just lounging around and being treated like a pampered wife."

Hua Cheng shrugs, unashamed. "Don't tell me he's here right now."

"Not in the Paradise Garden, but nearby. Hopefully he won't do anything rash. Which is why we need to find Feng Xuan quickly and get out of here."

Sounds like a terrible idea. The General of the East has already proven he can and will act rashly if granted the opportunity. Hua Cheng is about to tell him this when he catches sight of a suspiciously human-shaped shadow by the window. He stands up abruptly, exchanging an alarmed glance with his accomplice.

"Hide," Hua Cheng mouths out silently.

He Xuan nods as he walks inside the pool and turns into water, clothes included. So that's how he slipped inside the house unnoticed: through the water canalisations! 'Water Master trade secret' indeed! Hua Cheng wouldn't have wanted to admit his infiltration skills relied on toilets either.

His brief outburst of hilarity dies a quick death when a hand slowly creeps down on the other side of the window. Whoever it belongs to is standing on the roof. Hua Cheng grabs his umbrella, holding it like a sword, and Ruoye slides up his arm, prepared to pounce on the intruder.

The hand knocks twice.

… Well. Since they asked so politely.

"Come in?" Hua Cheng calls out hesitantly.

Next to Hua Cheng, the water inside the pool bubbles furiously. Most likely He Xuan manifesting his protests at Hua Cheng's poor life choices. Too bad people without mouth don't get to share their opinion. Hua Cheng could do with less unhelpful criticism in his life.

The hand knocks again, irritatedly this time. Ignoring the Water Master fuming in his puddle, Hua Cheng walks toward the window and opens it.

"Finally," a familiar voice grumbles, before a figure clouded in shadows jumps down and slips inside the guest room.

It was the librarian.

"Are you ready?" the man asks, looking very annoyed to be there at all. "We don't have all night."

Hua Cheng's eyebrow arches. "Ready for what exactly?"

The librarian pulls out his best Mu Qing imitation and rolls his eyes at the question. "To free your Wind Master, obviously."

.

After eight hundred years of wandering around, Hua Cheng likes to think he has seen it all. To be fair, it is true he has seen, heard, touched, smelt and felt a lot of things along the decades. Yet people still manage to surprise him and leave him flabbergasted.

"So the Wind Master is here?" Hua Cheng slowly says. He could have tried to deny his goal was to bail Jingji Guan's prisoner out, but frankly didn't see the point. The librarian clearly knew already.

"Oh she's here alright," the librarian grumbles. "The sooner she's gone for good, the better."

"Not a fan, I gather?" Hua Cheng chuckles as he leans against the window frame, desperately trying to order his thoughts.

"No. She convinced the Lord to add risqué literature to the collection. Porn. In my library."

Hua Cheng has never wanted to read anything so badly in his entire life. He's itching to abandon the Wind Master to their fate, move in the Paper Tower and refuse to leave until Jingji Guan kicks him out.

Focus, he needs to remind himself. "Pardon my skepticism, but you are Jingji Guan's subordinate, aren't you? Why would you help him?"

"Precisely because I'm the Lord's 'subordinate', as you say," the librarian scowls. "He doesn't really want to kill his former friend, but can't let him go either, so now we're trapped with that annoying pest. Constantly complaining about not having enough pillows and her beauty products, as if she's at a fancy inn instead of jail!"

Wow, that's a lot of pent up frustration right there. Hua Cheng feels like he accidentally opened a can of worms, and he has no regrets. He Xuan must be dying in his puddle, forced to hear 'the thorn to his side' being trash talked without being able to contribute to the slaughter.

"It's always He-xiong this, He-xiong that with her!" The librarian keeps ranting, to Hua Cheng's delight. "If I have to listen to one more word on how good her goddamn He-xiong looks, I'm actually going to murder her."

The water bubbles again.

"Can you tell your friend to come out?" the librarian says, sounding bored out of his mind. "I'd like to get going now. My time is precious."

Hua Cheng looks at the pool. He Xuan interprets his exhausted expression as incentive to show up and join the party, so he does exactly that. The water gathers into a column, then morphs back into a human body. Half a second later, He Xuan comes out of the pool without a single drop of water on his person, looking dignified and impassive, as you do. Someone really wants to pretend he wasn't literally lurking in the water canalisation the whole time.

"You could tell he was hiding in the water," Hua Cheng says, pensive. "Who are you exactly?"

"That's what I'd like to know as well." He Xuan crosses his arms.

The man just waves his hand dismissively. "Just a librarian who would like to work in peace, that is all."

Sure, and Hua Cheng is an actual fifteen year old. It's clear their potential ally won't say more on the matter. Should they take the risk to follow him? He Xuan's suspicious glare and scowl say hella no.

"Why didn't you free the Wind Master on your own, Mister Just A Librarian?" Hua Cheng asks.

"I can't go through the flowers, they won't obey me," the librarian says. "But you can."

Hua Cheng blinks. Thinks of the flower claiming that 'San Lang came first, the master second.' Considers it. "Ah."

"Ah indeed," the librarian drawls out. "So let's go already."

"I've never seen a plan that looked more like a trap before," He Xuan says.

He has a point, this is shady as fuck. Sometimes when it looks too good to be true, sounds too good to be true and smells of deceit like it's too good to be true, it really is too good to be true. Hua Cheng would have to be an idiot to accept blindly.

"Yeah, okay," Hua Cheng, an idiot, but an idiot who lives for the thrill, agrees. "Let's get rolling then."

"What," He Xuan flatly says.

Hua Cheng pats his back with mock sympathy. "You don't have to follow us, oh great Lord Water Master. You can still leak your way out like you came in and whine to Jun Wu you failed your mission. I'm sure no one will judge you."

"I hate you. I hate you so much," He Xuan says with a lot of feeling. "I thought they were overreacting but people are absolutely right about you."

Hua Cheng can only laughs. If he could, he'd drink to that. "I'm worse than whatever they can come up with, Lord Water Master!"

Those small-minded Heaven Officials lack the imagination to properly convey how fucked Hua Cheng truly is.

.
.

Breaking into the terrifying White Sword Whispering Death's fortress isn't nearly as fun as it could be. There is potential there, furious beasts guarding doors, one small pit full of burning hot lava, and of course the omnipresent flowers. Sadly, all Hua Cheng has to do is politely ask to be let through and the flowers will open any door, restrain the monsters and redirect him and his party towards shortcuts with a cheerful 'Of course, of course, anything for San Lang!'.

Which, nice, but also, boring.

"Are you complaining? Seriously?" The librarian glowers, bemused by Hua Cheng's lack of self-preservation instincts.

"Well, no. I do feel like I'm cheating, though," Hua Cheng says.

"This is creepy," He Xuan shudders, staring at a red flower petting Hua Cheng's hair as they pass under it. "So creepy. What did you do for those creatures to fawn over you like this?"

If only Hua Cheng knew. "Nothing. I was just born this way: cute and fawnable. It's a curse really. Not everyone can be as inherently unappealing as you, Lord Water Master."

"Fuck you," the god says, before turning toward the librarian. "Are we there soon?"

"Almost."

They slip by another door guarded by three flowers, who are only too happy to comply to Hua Cheng's wishes, then walk down long stone stairs. They stumble underground, in what couldn't look more like a dungeon if it tried.

"Cool," Hua Cheng comments as they walk under a spider web so complex it's practically art.

"This way," the librarian ignores him and strides down a gloomy corridor. "She's here."

Hua Cheng and He Xuan look at the door, then at each other. If it is indeed a trap, now is the moment for them to be backstabbed by their guide in the most dramatic way possible. The librarian rolls his eyes and opens the door himself.

Hua Cheng leans sideways and peeks inside the cell curiously. Here the Wind Master is, in their female form, sitting on the floor with their hands trapped into vines above their head. Their eyes light up when they recognize the Water Master. "He-xiong! You came to rescue me!"

Their eyes are almost shining with literal stars. He Xuan turns his head to the side decidedly. "Jun Wu sent us, don't get so excited."

Technically true, though Jun Wu only sent the Water Master because he insisted. Only Hua Cheng was coerced into participating to this fun fun adventure. Hua Cheng nudges the librarian's side with his pointy elbow. "What are we, chopped liver?"

The Wind Master manages to tear their eyes off He Xuan to smile brightly at Hua Cheng. "Your Highness, thank you for troubling yourself so much on my behalf!"

"Take those things off and let's go already." He Xuan growls to Hua Cheng.

Hua Cheng considers snapping at him to fuck off, but they really are on a tight schedule. Predictably, the vines release the Wind Master's arms when he asks them to, then retreat toward the ceiling sheepishly.

Finally free from their bindings, the Wind Master makes a grand show of stretching out their limbs, whining loudly and complaining about the poor quality of the service in White Sword's prison.

"I'm so stiff, He-Xiong, I don't think I can walk," the shameless god pulls out his best teary eyes and pouty lips for the occasion. A bit too much on the weepy side for Hua Cheng, but nice performance. What else can you expect of someone so obviously extra?

He Xuan is obviously not impressed by the display. "Stop playing around and get up."

"He-Xiong! I was grievously injured in the line of duty, don't treat me so harshly!" the Wind Master sniffs pitifully behind the torn sleeve of their green robes. "I'll only slow us down, you should carry me…"

"You think I can't tell the difference between a real and fake injury?" He Xuan deadpans as he smacks the top of Feng Xuan's head. "Walk or die here, I don't care."

"See why I want her gone," the librarian grumbles to Hua Cheng.

Somewhere in the background, He Xuan is proving himself to be quite talented at multitasking, dragging a whining Feng Xuan up, insulting them abundantly for being 'a lazy slug' and an 'annoying airhead' while brushing the dust off their clothes and adjusting their messed up hair, all at once. The Wind Master is smiling adoringly at them. It's absolutely disgusting.

Hua Cheng smiles fakely. "You often visit prisoners, mister librarian? How generous of you."

"Someone has to bring the food," the librarian says before he stomps out of the cell, He Xuan and Feng Xuan on his tail.

Hua Cheng walks toward the end of the cell, where the vines are curled up by the ceiling.

"Hey," he whispers. "Can you tell him I'm sorry? For what it's worth."

The vines don't answer. Hua Cheng didn't expect them too. He'll have to find a way to convey the message along the way without the others hearing him. The Water Master is already half convinced he's in cahoots with Jingji Guan, he doesn't need more ammunition against Hua Cheng. If it was just Heaven, Hua Cheng wouldn't care, they can think what they want. Sadly, Jun Wu has the power to make his life hell again if he feels he needs to.

Hua Cheng allows himself to probe and poke at the emperor, because he knows Jun Wu finds his childishness amusing and refreshing. Should Jun Wu truly have doubts about Hua Cheng's loyalty, he won't hesitate to act to put him back on the right track. He has done so before, and Hua Cheng really doesn't want to get back to this period of his life.

That's why he felt he couldn't refuse the mission, despite Jun Wu claiming it was optional. Not after the bridegroom fiasco and the mess with Jingji Guan at Ban Yue. Hua Cheng can sell the whole 'distracting the Demon King for the sake of the mission', but He Xuan can make it complicated if he decides to contradict him.

Once is a coincidence, two is a chance, three is a pattern, and patterns have the unfortunate habit to attract Jun Wu's attention. Hua Cheng could do with less of that.

Still, he feels guilty as hell to abuse Jingji Guan's kindness like this. Hua Cheng still doesn't know what's the deal between his past self and Jingji Guan, but fact is the ghost has been nothing but gentle and unnaturally accommodating with him. The guy brings him to his home, treats him like an honored guest, let;s him have his way with his precious library, and this is how Hua Cheng repays him.

What ungrateful scum he is.

"Are you coming or what?" He Xuan calls out.

Hua Cheng smiles as he twirls backward. "Aw, missing me already?"

"Who would miss you?" he snorts.

Indeed.

.

Most of the time, Hua Cheng thinks the Head Priest and his astrology predictions were both full of crap. So what if his eye is red? So what if his mother died giving birth to him? Lots of women die in childbirth, and no one blames the children for having the sheer nerve to exist.

Sometimes though, he lays awake at night and wonders if everything bad that ever happened to the people around him are his fault. If Xie Lian died and suffered so much only because he cared for Hua Cheng. He hates that feeling, that doubt creeping inside his brain, twisting his thoughts, poisoning whatever his left of his heart. As if Hua Cheng didn't hate himself enough.

And the beast brings it all back, each time their paths cross again. The beast with his ugliness and his deformities and his fucking crimson eye. The beast born of his most monstrous side, a constant reminder of how fucked up Hua Cheng is.

"Oh shit," the librarian freezes in the middle of the corridor.

A enormous panther is laying across the ground, blocking the way. Or what could pass for a panther if one was either drunk, blind or in a very generous mood. The creature's fur is pitch black, gloomy and messy instead of glossy. His legs, tucked under his massive body have two paws each, and his back is covered in deadly spikes.

He looks unnatural as fuck. No matter which form he takes, E-ming never stops carrying his monstrosity with him and exposing it to everyone who has the misfortune to cross his path.

"What the fuck is this thing?" He Xuan whispers. The Wind Master clings to his side, utterly silent for once.

"It's...the Lord's pet? I guess? I don't really know," the librarian explains sotto voce. "He hasn't seen us yet, let's take another …"

"What are you doing here?" Hua Cheng hisses as he steps forward, ignoring the librarian.

E-ming shivers and turns his head towards them. His unique eye, set in the middle of his face like a grotesque tumor, opens wide. Red as blood, dark like the abyss.

"Your Highness, what are you doing?" the Wind Master taps his shoulder urgently. "We have to go, remember!"

Hua Cheng ignores them, his one eye left fixed on E-ming. The beast stands up on his abnormal legs and makes a confused noise. The Lord's pet, the librarian claimed. Implying E-ming is here often enough to be considered as such. He tends to disappear for long stretches of time, but Hua Cheng would have never guessed he fucked off to Ghost City, of all places. It does make sense, in a way. What other place would be bizarre enough to tolerate a freak like E-ming?

The panther shudders and turns into a smaller creature, as weird looking as his previous form. Such is E-ming's curse, no matter which shape he shifts into, he always looks like a monster. This form looks vaguely bird-shaped, Hua Cheng realized with no small amount of confusion. What is he trying to do now?

Oh. Oh hell no. A rooster. "Don't you fucking dare…" Hua Cheng snarls, bolting forward.

E-ming screeches. Hua Cheng pounces on him, but too late. Fucker made so much noise there is no way they can escape unnoticed anymore. The coward shapeshifts into a six-legged rat and scatters.

"Get back here!" Hua Cheng shouts, enraged.

"Your Highness!" He Xuan claps his shoulder, holding him back. "Have you lost your mind?"

Hua Cheng glares backward at him. He knows perfectly what he's doing, thank you very much. Above their head, the house bursts into life.

"What's going on?" they hear doors open and voices raise.

"Wasn't that the Lord's beast screaming?"

"It's the prisoner! She's escaping!"

"Someone warn the Lord, quick!"

Goddammit. E-ming ruined everything, once again. That's all he's good for.

"Fuck this, you guys are on your own now. Here's your fan Airhead, good luck." the librarian declares, rummaging through his robe pocket and throwing its content to the Wind Master.

One blink later and he's disappeared into the nearest corridor. Fair. Hua Cheng would bail on them too to if he had the opportunity.

"What do we do now?" the Wind Master asks, their fan held tightly close to their chest. "I know the way out but…"

A grim-faced He Xuan grabs both their arms. "We run."

And so they do.

.
.

Here's what Hua Cheng learns of their chaotic break-out at Paradise Garden:

   1. Spiritual flowers are way scarier when they are actively trying to murder you, and Hua Cheng is finally understanding why they scare the shit of of people. Well, not actively trying to kill him, but both the Water Master and the Wind Master seem to be fair game. They are still incredibly pretty though.

"MAKE THEM GO AWAY!" He Xuan yells as he slashes through the vines circling his leg, while Wind Master creates powerful guff of wind to clear the path. "YOUR HIGHNESS!"

Yeah, Hua Cheng can't do that. It's problematic enough two gods and whatever the librarian is know about his strange power over Jingji Guan's spiritual weapons, last thing he needs is to make that fact public. It could have dramatic repercussions, for both Hua Cheng and Jingji Guan.

What he can do however is to bullshit his way out of his issues. That's one of his strongest talents, really.

"Play along," he whispers to the nearest flower before he spread his umbrella wide open, holding it in front of them like a shield and yells: "ONE HUNDRED MILLENNIAL LOTUS REPULSION!"

There is, of course, not such a thing as One Hundred Millennial Lotus Repulsion spell, and if there was, Hua Cheng wouldn't have the necessary spiritual energy to activate it. Yet the flowers retreat abruptly as if physically repelled by the sheer aura of Hua Cheng's almost normal umbrella. Few of them even go as far as to fake wailing in pain. Hua Cheng takes a second to appreciate their dedication to the cause.

"What? The Lord's flowers have been vanquished?" a ghost standing nearby cries out.

"Such a powerful weapon!" Another member of Jingji Guan's household exclaims.

"Thanks," he mouths out to the flowers before He Xuan drags him away.

The flowers discreetly wave a leaf in acknowledgement. So cute.

   2. When the situation is already pretty bad, it can always get worse. Actually, when the situation is already pretty bad, it will get worse. Hua Cheng has experienced this natural phenomenon of life plenty of time before, yet the reality of it never fails to astonish him. Just when he thought he couldn't get any lower, Life never fails to pat his shoulder and say: 'bitch, you thought.'

       In other words, Jingji Guan finally joined the party, and it's as terrible as it sounds.

"Shit shit shit," He Xuan curses when a blur of white flickers behind them at frightening speed. "How far from the outside are we?"

"Almost there!" The Wind Master says, fluttering their fan widely behind them to give them more velocity and try to repel their enemy, with mixed results. "But just leaving the house won't solve our problem!"

They have a point. This is not some childish games, Jingji Guan has no reason to let them go just because they got out of the dodge. Now, if something more important required his attention while they escaped...

"We need to distract him," He Xuan comes to the same conclusion as Hua Cheng did.

Without stopping to run, the Water Master makes a few hand signs and pours a shitton of spiritual power into his spell. He Xuan is quite the powerful god, but he's going to need a long time to recover from that blow. Silently, the Wind Master grabs their friend's hand and sends their own spiritual energy to support him. Clearly this is not the first time they did so.

Hua Cheng feels the floor shake ominously under his feet. A breath later, water shoots up from underneath and storms in furiously from the windows. Oh. So that's He Xuan's plan to distract the master of the place: drown his house. It's a good idea, objectively speaking. They already fucked up the whole discretion thing so they might as well go all out and the giant lake they're standing on is just asking to be used, from the Water Master's perspective.

Yet Hua Cheng's heart bleeds to see the tempest unleashed into Jingji Guan's beautiful house. The water damage is going to be devastating.

"Stop making that face, who's side are you on?" He Xuan scowls.

Great question. Hua Cheng will share with the class when he figures it out.

Unfortunately, Jingji Guan doesn't seem too panicked by the spectacle of his home being turned into a wrecked ship. He almost catches up with them as they stumble into a courtyard and He Xuan has an epiphany. He moves his hands to the right, and the water shifts along the movement, straight toward… the Paper Tower.

"NO!" Hua Cheng yells, grabbing the god's hands forcefully. He acted too late, the wave is already in motion. "ARE YOU CRAZY? CALL IT BACK"

"ARE YOU?" He Xuan screams back. "GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT!"

As much as Hua Cheng loathes to admit it, his underhanded tactic works. At the sight of the giant wave about to crash over the library, Jingji Guan abruptly changes of direction, rushing to the right. He's too far though, Hua Cheng concludes, horrified.

At the critical moment, a figure in dark robes run in front of the tower, right under the tsunami. The librarian. He's holding a giant iron fan in his hands, and looks more exasperated to have to deal with this bullshit than scared of the furious mass of water about to fall on his head.

"NOT. MY. LIBRARY. DAMMIT!" The librarian yells as he waves his fan, creating a tempest strong enough to counteract the wave.

What the fuck. Seriously, who's this guy? Where the hell did Jingji Guan find him? All excellent questions needing to be inquired, but perhaps not when they're about to be buried under the wave they're responsible for. The gust of wind the librarian made was so strong it reversed the direction of the water and now it's coming back to bite them in the ass.

"Shit," He Xuan says as he jumps over his sword, Feng Xuan clinging to his back. "Your Highness…"

Hua Cheng is already flying up, his umbrella spread on top of his head. The Wind Master obligingly waves his paper fan to speed the process along, and they manage to get high enough to avoid the wave, then fall back on the roof after the tide crashed.

But so does Jingji Guan.

   3. Some people have the inherent talent to show up at the exact right time. Usually it's the exact wrong time as well. Hua Cheng himself is not bad in that regard. Lang Qian Qiu is better.

"YOUR HIGHNESS!" the General of the East shouts as he bursts out of the nearby woods over his sword and and surge in their direction. "LORD WATER MASTER! LORD WIND MASTER!"

"SCREAM LOUDER WHY DON'T YOU, I THINK SOME PEOPLE IN GHOST CITY HAVEN'T HEARD YOU YET!" He Xuan has to gall to scream back just as loud, the hypocrite.

"Oh no no, he's going to murder us," the Wind Master bemoans, hiding behind He Xuan's robes. "He-xiong, protect me, I don't want to diiiiiie!"

"PROTECT YOURSELF, YOU IDIOT! WHO'S FAULT IS IT WE'RE IN THIS SITUATION IN THE FIRST PLACE?"

"Heeeeeee-xioooooong!"

He Xuan really is losing whatever cool he had left. They need to chill a bit, if someone is going to be murdered, it's Hua Cheng. After their narrow escape from the self-inflicted tsunami, they landed on different sides of the courtyard, the Water Master and Wind Master to one side, while Hua Cheng drifted in the opposite direction. And Jingji Guan is lunging toward him.

"Dammit, Feng Xuan, more wind!" He Xuan says as they both climb over his sword in a desperate attempt to reach Hua Cheng before Jingji Guan does.

"I'm already giving all I've got!" The Wind Master protests. "Emprisonnement is not optimal for spiritual reserve, you know!"

"YOUR HIGHNESS! RUN!" He Xuan and Lang Qian Qiu scream in unison.

Hua Cheng does not.

"Hey Jiejie," Hua Cheng tries to smile to Jingji Guan as the demon king catches up with him, gracefully landing on the roof. "Would you believe me if I said I'm really sorry for drowning your house?"

Jingji Guan stays silent. He's mad at Hua Cheng. Of course he is. It's only fair. It takes skills to fuck up that much. Hua Cheng's first friendship in centuries, and it went down in flames so fast. Well. It went down in water so fast.

"YOU!" Lang Qian Qiu screams when he cannonballs at Jingji Guan like the brave fool he is. "DON'T TOUCH HIS HIGHNESS!"

Wordlessly, Jingji Guan reaches out for the weapon strapped to his side. White glints when their respective swords clash together. So this is the legendary White Sword Whispering Death. Hua Cheng stares at the beautiful blade, enthralled by its elegant deadliness. Lang Qian Qiu is never going to win against the Supreme, not exhausted from the earlier fight as he still is, not on the Supreme's territory. Not ever.

Which means they need to get out of there asap. If Lang Qian Qiu gets cut only once, he's done for, big shot in Heaven or not. Hua Cheng lunges forward, stepping between the two of them, Ruoye ready to act. His umbrella counters Jingji Guan's sword while he grabs Lang Qian Qiu's arm and pulls him backward, Ruoye tying them together into one bundle of awkwardness.

The umbrella has snapped into two pieces under the choc.

"Ruoye! The sword!" He shouts, and the bandage flies up obendiendly, reaching out for He Xuan's sword. "Up guys, up!"

To his credit, He Xuan redirects upward without missing a beat, and drags Lang Qian Qiu and Hua Cheng with him.

Jingji Guan makes no move to pursue them. He just stands there with the crimson red remains of one of Hua Cheng's oldest companions bleeding at his feet, above the chaos of his drowned house, as the cohort of ghosts yells and runs, trying desperately to do damage control of the disaster.

And wow, doesn't Hua Cheng feels like shit.

.
.

Adrenaline is kind of a treacherous bitch sometimes. It takes your body and your soul, fills it with energy and makes you forget actions have consequences, and then leaves you for dead on the shore after the tempest has passed, and you find yourself alone to reflect upon your shitty life choices.

In other words, Hua Cheng is not having a great moment right now.

"Well. It didn't go too badly, right?" The Wind Master beams down at them, trying to lighten the mood. "All in all, it could have gone worse!"

Hua Cheng looks down at the Earth, looking enormous and small at the same time at that altitude. They are flying toward Heaven, He Xuan and Feng Xuan riding the Water Master's spiritual sword and Hua Cheng and Lang Qian Qiu tied together on the Ruoye Express. He wonders how exactly things could have gone worse. They went pretty bad already. On the plus side, Jun Wu might not think Hua Cheng is secretly conspiring with a demon king after he literally drowned his house in less than a day. On the bad side, other people might stop thinking he's secretly conspiring with a demon king, and that was pretty funny.

Not to mention he made an enemy out of one of his only friends. He doubts Jingji Guan would forgive him so easily, not matter what Hua Cheng did for him in the past.

Fucking E-ming. They could have bailed out discreetly if not for him pulling a tantrum on Hua Cheng. It still would have been bad, but not as astonishingly catastrophic. What was he doing here in the first place?

"Your Highness," Lang Qian Qiu moans pitifully. "Your Highness, I don't feel too good."

Hua Cheng gathers the long strands of the god's hair right before he throws up, sending the projectile of bile hundreds of meters above the ground. Someone down there is going to have a nasty surprise when it crashes down on them. The combo of spiritual drain, clashing with a supreme being lugged across the air did a number on the guy.

"Thank you," he says, blinking confusingly. Then he freezes in apparent shock, staring at Hua Cheng's arm.

Hua Cheng glances at his limb curiously. His sleeve got wrecked during the fight with Jingji Guan, of it could even be called that, and the tattoos on his arm are on display. Clearly, Lang Qian Qiu is not a fan of them.

"You!" Lang Qian Qiu snarls furiously, staring at Hua Cheng as if he has never hated anyone more in his life. "YOU!"

Hua Cheng raises an eyebrow. "Me?"

And then Lang Qian Qiu passes out. Uh. Well, that was weird. Maybe he hit his head harder than Hua Cheng thought.

"What did you do again?" He Xuan sighs.

"Nothing!"

For once, that's true.