Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The bunker was everything that Dean had dreamed of and more. If he didn’t know what dicks angels were, and what a useless asshole God could be, he would’ve thought that someone upstairs had plucked the bunker straight out of his dreams and plunked it down in reality. But of course, that would never happen because he did know, and so he knew that the bunker was very much a human construct.

“If you keep smiling like that, your face is gonna get stuck that way,” Gabriel said.

“Like what? I’m not smiling in any weird way,” Dean lied. He knew exactly what Gabriel was talking about, not that Dean would admit it.

For the past week, ever since they’d come across the bunker, Dean had felt like he was walking on air. Finally, they weren’t homeless drifters. Sure the occasional hunt might be far enough away to require staying in hotel rooms, but for the most part they were going to live here. It was a wholly unique experience to take his clothing out of his duffel bag and put it into a closet and know with certainty that most of his clothing was always going to stay in that closet.

There was ample space, which mean Gabriel and Castiel both got their own rooms. He’d picked out a room right beside his for Castiel, and surprisingly Gabriel had chosen the room right across the hall from Dean. That meant, so long as Dean slept with his door cracked open at night, he could hear both angels if something went wrong. Even that was a novelty. Dean couldn’t remember the last time he got his own room.

Sam had chosen a room that was all the way down the hall from them, but Dean couldn’t blame him for that. Castiel could get loud sometimes when he cried, and frankly Dean was just kind of amazed Sam was still hanging around. He’d been positive that, when Sam left the morning after Dean declared his intent to take care of the two angels, there was no way his brother was coming back.

Yet Sam had returned, roughly two days after he first left, and had never said a word about where he went or what had happened while he was gone. And Dean hadn’t bothered to press the issue. Sam could get weirdly defensive sometimes when he didn’t want to talk about something, and the last thing Dean needed right now was to provoke Sam into a huge fight.

“And now you’re humming,” Gabriel said, breaking into Dean’s thoughts. Dean stopped the humming instantly, clearing his throat self-consciously.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, not looking Gabriel in the eyes. It wouldn’t do anything to keep the little shit out of Dean’s head, but Dean was almost to the point where that knowledge stopped freaking him out when he thought about it. Almost.

Gabriel put his chin in his hands. “You’re happy,” he observed in tones of great disbelief.

“Is that so shocking?” Dean said, moving the pan from the stove to the counter. After seeing how expensive baby food was and figuring out just how much baby food Castiel would need to consume to keep an adult’s body in working order, Dean had quickly decided it would be easier to make Castiel’s food himself. He’d gone out and purchased a blender practically the day after he decided he was keeping the angels.

“Well, yes,” Gabriel admitted. “Honestly, Dean-o, I thought when Cassie and I showed up, you’d peel out of the parking lot so fast your precious baby would leave tire marks on the road. And even if you’d kept Cassie, I didn’t think you’d let me stay too.” He stared at Dean with an unselfconscious, curious gaze.

“Can’t pick it outta my head, huh?” Dean smirked at him, amused. Gabriel probably could, but, even for a guy who’d lived on Earth for centuries, he was like every other angel: emotionally constipated in the worst way. Human emotions seemed to be a mystery to him, and it was clear he didn’t understand why Dean had permitted him to stay. He just hadn’t worked up the courage to ask before now.

But Dean had been expecting this, so the statement didn’t throw him the way Gabriel probably expected it would. He shrugged and said, “I told you. I can’t in good faith unleash a teenaged archangel on the world. That’s just cruel. And Cas would be sad if you left. He likes having his big brother around.”

And you seemed like you needed someone, Dean didn’t say, even though it was the truth.

“Right,” Gabriel said, not sounding convinced. “I – oh. Cassie’s awake.”

“He is?” Dean perked up, wiping his hands on his jeans and heading out of the room. Two weeks wasn’t really enough time to get Castiel on much of a schedule, but Dean was working on it. Now that they had a permanent place to stay, it was a little easier. He checked his watch as he walked and saw that it was just after eleven in the morning, which was just about right.

Castiel was awake, as Gabriel had said, eyes open and peering around the room with the endless curiosity of a baby. The room – nursery, really, if Dean was being honest with himself – was still a mess, because Dean hadn’t gotten around to organizing everything just right yet. In that respect, having Gabriel around was a blessing. Dean had no idea where he would’ve gotten a crib big enough to fit an adult man otherwise, and it wasn’t like Castiel could sleep in a bed. He would fall out, no question.

“Hey Cas,” Dean said gently, moving closer to the crib. He’d noticed that the way he talked to Castiel, and even Gabriel, had changed a lot. Sam had given him several disturbed looks for it. But, well, Dean couldn’t help himself. In their minds, no matter how much Gabriel protested, they were just kids. And Dean had always had a soft spot for kids.

“Ba?” Castiel said, sticking his fingers in his mouth.

Dean leaned against the crib and reached down, untangling Castiel’s teddy bear from the blanket. “Here you go, sw – uh, buddy,” he said, handing the bear to him. Castiel’s face split into a huge grin as he grabbed the bear and started chewing on its ear.

“Cas, don’t chew on your bear. Your teeth are too strong. Here.” He pulled the bear out of Castiel’s mouth and substituted a pacifier, which made Castiel’s nose wrinkle up – but he didn’t spit the pacifier out, so Dean considered that to be a win.

He lowered the side of the crib and bent slightly, scooping Castiel up. The angel was a slight weight in his arms now thanks to Gabriel; the amount of grace it had taken had knocked Gabriel on his ass for a day or two, but now Castiel weighed no more than a normal human baby and it meant Dean had a much easier time moving Castiel around the bunker. He was strong, but not strong enough to regularly carry a 170lbs, give or take.

Naturally, as soon as he had Castiel on the changing table, Castiel began to cry. Dean rolled with it, quickly changing the soiled diaper. It was kind of amazing how quickly those skills had come back to him. Apparently changing a diaper was right up there with riding a bicycle in that you never forgot how to do it. In record time, Castiel was clean and dry and Dean was lifting him off the table.

“Ah, don’t cry. You don’t have to be like that. It’s okay,” Dean said soothingly. He combined his fingers through Castiel’s recently washed hair, feeling a renewed swell of protectiveness when Castiel looked up at him with damp blue eyes.

Not once had Dean ever stopped to consider that he missed this. In many ways, taking care of Sam when they were both kids had seemed endless. He hadn’t really stopped until Sam left for university. After that, Dean had revelled in the opportunity to be alone and do shit his way as much as he could. He’d ignored the little bit of him that was at odds and thrown himself into hunting until he and Sam joined up again. Sam didn’t like being mother henned, but he was, and always would be, Dean’s little brother.

When Sam went to hell, there was Ben. Living with him and Lisa for a year had been great, but Dean had always felt somewhat awkward when it came to the kid. Ben liked him, but Dean wasn’t his dad and Dean had tried to be very respectful of that. In retrospect, sometimes Dean thought that maybe the kid had seen the end of him and Lisa long before they ever had.

Caring for Castiel… as weird as it was, it was also good. It was simple and satisfying to be able to make Castiel smile with something as easy as a bottle of milk or a diaper change. Somehow, in just two weeks, this had become less of a burden and more of something that Dean realized he enjoyed. He’d never seen himself as the stay-at-home parent type, but maybe that was also because he’d always thought that, after growing up with a dad who had tried to have it all and failed miserably, his world and that world were mutually exclusive.

Then again, he’d never thought this situation was even possible. Having an actual baby and an angel-turned-baby were two very different things. Plus, there was said angel’s big brother. Gabriel was rapidly turning into a very protective big brother, glowering at Sam if Sam so much as made a weird face when Castiel was around. Dean pitied the supernatural creature that ever went after Castiel, because Gabriel would rend them limb from limb.

“De,” Castiel said, which was the sound he made when he wanted Dean’s attention. Somewhere along the way, he’d lost his pacifier. Dean smiled.

“I’m here,” he said, hefting Castiel up a little more. “You hungry? Want some breakfast, maybe?”

Castiel nodded enthusiastically, making a bunch of nonsensical sounds. Dean pretended to listen. Hearing Castiel’s deep voice again was comforting. He knew his friend was still in there somewhere. However long it took, Dean was going to take care of him until Castiel’s grace had replenished enough to bring him back to normal. For everything he had done for them, Castiel deserved that much.

He carried Castiel into the kitchen just in time to see Sam freeze and quickly yank his fork away from the pan of scrambled eggs. Dean made a face as he walked over to the highchair that Gabriel had snapped up, after they’d figured out that a regular chair wouldn’t work. Castiel didn’t possess the fine motor control necessary to be able to hold himself up.

“Are you seriously eating eggs out of the pan?” Dean said.

“Lemme guess, you made them just for Cas,” Sam said, and if Dean didn’t know better, he would’ve said Sam was pouting.

“I made it for everyone, genius, I just don’t want you spreading your germs around. You don’t know if Cas can get sick or not. Same goes for Gabe. Their grace is depleted, remember?” Dean pointed out.

Sam sighed and set his fork down. “I didn’t think of it that way. Sorry, they just looked so good. You always made the best scrambled eggs.” He sounded wistful, like Dean was really going to refuse to let him have anymore, the gigantic dork.

“There’s a secret to it,” Dean said. “Sit down and stop looking sad, Sam. I’m not going to let you starve.” He never had, and he wasn’t about to start now.

Sam visibly perked up and moved to sit at the table. No sooner had he sat down than Gabriel reappeared in the seat right beside him; Sam yelped and nearly fell out of his chair. Gabriel snickered and Castiel giggled as Sam righted himself. Dean turned away to hide his own smile, grabbing a plate and dishing up some of the eggs. Things were still weird, but they were getting better. He thought that, in time, he might actually be able to make this work.

Chapter Text

Dean planted his hands on his hips and looked critically around his bedroom. After a couple solid hours of work, he thought that everything was where he wanted it to be. Not that he really had a lot of things. When you had to fit everything you owned into a duffel bag, you learned to pack lightly. Still, what he did have was now displayed on the shelf above his dresser.

The small collection included an old Hot Wheels car that he’d gotten in a Happy Meal when he was seven, the first knife that John Winchester had ever given him to use on a hunt (now missing the tip thanks to an encounter with a very angry werewolf), an old cellphone that no longer worked, a ticket stub to a movie, the first gun Bobby had given him, and, the pièce de résistance, an old, now carefully framed photograph of Mary Winchester.

He picked up the photo to look at it more closely. It was cracked and faded from how often Dean had spent staring at it over the years, but Mary’s bright smile was still captivating. Sometimes it was hard to believe that Dean was actually older than his mother had been when she died. She’d been so young. So innocent. And it was even harder to believe that the toddler in the photo was Dean. He didn’t remember this photo being taken, yet he didn’t think he’d ever forget the gentle, warm feeling of Mary’s arms around him.

“What would you think, Mom?” Dean asked quietly. “Now it’s not angels watching over me. It’s the other way around.” He sighed and carefully set the frame back up on the shelf. Maybe someday, if he had ever a spare couple hundred bucks, he would take the photo in and have a specialist look at it. This was the only picture of Mary that Dean had. He knew Sam would like a copy.

He looked around his room one last time, wondering what Mary would think of the bare walls and his admittedly pathetic attempts at decorating. She’d never wanted her children to be hunters, so she probably wouldn’t be happy that they’d found the Men of Letters bunker – yet at the same time, Dean thought she’d be pleased that they finally had a place besides the Impala to call home.

Frowning, Dean opened the door and stepped out of his room. He cocked his head, listening. Gabriel had volunteered to look after Castiel for a couple of hours. Dean had his misgivings about it, but Gabriel had looked so determined and Castiel had happily reached out for his brother when Gabriel went to pick him up. Reasoning that the two of them probably couldn’t get into too much trouble, Dean had left them to it. Now, he turned left and stopped in the doorway to Gabriel’s room.

“Just like that, Cassie!” Gabriel clapped his hands over the sound of Castiel’s giggling. Dean’s jaw dropped as he watched the handful of stuffed animals fly through the air, lazily circling Castiel. He almost thought that it was Castiel until he caught sight of the look of strain on Gabriel’s face. Gabriel was white as a sheet and had beads of sweat forming across his forehead.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Dean said, trying not to sound too annoyed. The animals fell to the ground before he’d even gotten the first word out. Gabriel winced, trying so hard to look casual that it was honestly laughable. Dean gave him a hard look.

For a moment, Castiel stared at the animals and looked like he might start bawling. But then he caught of Dean, and his face lit up. “De!”

“Hey kiddo,” Dean said, walking over to him. He stepped carefully over the stuffed animals – he’d learned that lesson the hard way with Sam, who would cry for hours over the mildest perceived slight to his toys – and knelt down to give Castiel a hug. Over the top of Castiel’s head, he pinned Gabriel with another look.

“What?” Gabriel said, adopting an expression of innocence.

“I thought I told you to stop using your grace so much,” Dean said.

“I wasn’t using it,” Gabriel lied.

“Dude, I literally just saw you. I know we deal with ghosts and shit on a regular basis, but I know for a fact that stuffed animals don’t fly by themselves,” Dean said, narrowing his eyes.

“Maybe they’re possessed by ghosts?” Gabriel spread his hands.

Dean sighed and leveled the angel with the sternest look he could muster. “Look. Do you wanna end up in the same state as Cas? Because that’s where you’re headed. You said it yourself, your grace is replenishing a lot more slowly than you expected. You’re also trying to keep yourself hidden from heaven, which isn’t helping. If you keep using your grace…” He trailed off meaningfully and motioned to Castiel.

“That won’t happen,” Gabriel said, but he didn’t sound convinced.

“It could,” Dean countered. “You don’t know that. And while I don’t mind taking care of a teenager and a baby, I’d really rather not end up caring for two babies. That’s more than I signed up for.”

Gabriel scowled and crossed his arms. “So then what do you suggest we do? You might have all the furniture and shit you wanted for the nursery, but I’ve been snapping up diapers and supplies for Cassie. That shit doesn’t just appear out of thin air, you know. What are you going to do about it?”

“We’ll go shopping,” Dean said, like the idea didn’t fill him with horror. He tried not to grimace too obviously. “We… we can order most of it online,” he added in a burst of inspiration. “And what we need in the short-term, we can go pick up.”

“The bunker doesn’t have a physical address, and you have no money,” Gabriel said.

“Not true. We can get a P.O. box in town. As for money, let me worry about that,” Dean said. It looked like he’d be filling out some fake credit card applications tonight, but he and Sam were going to have to be a hell of a lot more careful with those from now on. They weren’t just passing through towns anymore. If they used fake cards in the same place repeatedly, the police would be banging at their door in no time.

“Really? You say don’t worry about it and your grand plan is credit card fraud?” Gabriel threw his hands up at the ceiling. “I can’t believe I’m relying on you two clowns.”

“Hey!” Dean said, insulted, but Gabriel was already gone. Dean scowled at the place where Gabriel had been.

“Ga?” Castiel said, lifting an arm towards the place where Gabriel had been. His lower lip wobbled.

“It’s okay. Gabe will be right back,” Dean reassured him. He wondered if it took much grace for an angel to fly. Would he have to ground Gabriel too? God, he hoped not. There was no way that would go over well.

But he would do it if he had to. Dean hadn’t been kidding about Gabriel not using his grace. The last couple of times Gabriel had done something bigger than snap up a stuffed toy, he had taken a couple of days to recuperate – and those ‘big’ things wouldn’t have even registered on the scale if Gabriel were at full power. It would be way too easy for Gabriel to go overboard without even realizing, and then where would they be? Sam would take off without looking back if they ended up with two angel babies.

He sighed, wondering not for the first time how this had become his life, and picked Castiel up. He snagged a couple of the stuffed animals and tucked them under his arm, then wandered out of Gabriel’s bedroom. They were fortunate in that Castiel hadn’t seemed to work out how to crawl yet; Dean suspected it was only a matter of time, and he couldn’t imagine what that was going to be like.

A baby learning to crawl was work enough, but a baby who was tall enough to reach quite a lot of things was a whole different story. They were going to have to baby proof the bunker, Dean realized, and soon. Everything dangerous would have to be put up higher, and – and whatever else people did to baby proof, he didn’t even know. Shit. A bunker was way more dangerous than the normal home, too.

Hot on the heels of that realization was another: were they going to have to teach Castiel how to walk again? Dean glanced doubtfully down at the angel in his arms, realizing that they probably were. At some point, as Castiel’s grace replenished, Castiel’s mental age would grow older. It was impossible to know how long that would take, or how quickly it would happen once it began.

“Why do I think you’re going to be a handful once you learn how to crawl and walk?” Dean said wryly.

“What?” Sam said behind him, and Dean jumped.

“What?” he parroted back, looking to see that Sam was standing not far behind him.

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were talking to Cas,” Sam said. “Wait. Is he crawling? Dean! This place isn’t safe for a baby!”

“No, he’s not crawling. And I just realized that myself,” Dean said, a little baffled by Sam’s unexpectedly strong reaction. “If I didn’t know better, Sammy, I’d think you cared.”

That comment earned a complete bitch face. Sam glowered as he said, “This situation is beyond weird, but of course I care. Cas could hurt himself really easily. Just this morning, you were polishing your machete and left it out on the coffee table. Did you even think about the fact that Cas could’ve grabbed it and brought it down on himself?”

Dean opened his mouth and then closed it, because he didn’t really have a good answer for that. Honestly, the thought hadn’t even occurred to him. He’d heard the unmistakable sound of Gabriel trying to cook something and had raced out of the room to stop the bunker from being burned down, leaving his machete unattended for a good ten to fifteen minutes. Castiel had been asleep at the time, but if he hadn’t been…

Sam sighed loudly. “I’ll work on the baby proofing,” he said. “But from now on, you have to look after your weapons in the privacy of your room. And we should probably invest in some locks. There are a lot of rooms here that we haven’t had the chance to go through. Some of that stuff could be just as harmful for angels as it is for humans.”

“Right,” Dean said. “I’ll do that. Thanks Sammy.”

“Whatever,” Sam muttered, shrugging. But Dean didn’t think it was his imagination that Sam seemed a little pleased to have a task to do. His brother had never liked sitting idly by.

“Well, that was easy enough,” Dean whispered to Castiel once Sam was out of earshot. “Safer for you and Gabe, and I don’t have to do anything. Works for me.”

“De,” Castiel said, aiming one of his thumbs at his mouth.

“Uh uh, no idea where your hands have been,” Dean said. He snagged a pacifier from his pocket and popped it into Castiel’s mouth instead. Then he kept on walking towards the living room, thinking he could plop Castiel down in front of the television for a bit while he tried to figure out what all they still needed.

He paused at the entrance to the living room, however. Gabriel was sitting on the couch, an envelope on the coffee table in front of him. Dean looked from an angel to envelope, wondering what could be so offensive that Gabriel looked like he was trying to set it on fire through sheer will power. Then again, as an angel he could do just that. Dean quickly decided to intervene before they had to see if fifty-year-old fire extinguishers still worked.

“Where were you?” he asked.

“I went to get this,” Gabriel said, gesturing at the envelope. “It’s for you and Sammy.”

“What is it?” Curiosity piqued, Dean set Castiel down in the playpen (snapped up by Gabriel, of course) and went to pick up the envelope before pausing.

“What?” Gabriel asked.

“It’s not gonna bite me, is it?” Dean said warily.

“Tempting, but no. Open it,” Gabriel said.

Dean obeyed. His jaw dropped. It was a bank statement made out to some dude he’d never heard of. That was a lot of zeroes. “Gabe, what the hell?”

“I’ve been on Earth for hundreds of years. I made some provisions for myself just in case I ever did have to live like a human,” Gabriel replied coolly. “That’s one of them.”

“One of them?” Dean repeated in disbelief.

Gabriel shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “Better than credit card fraud, right?”

“This is… this is… wow,” Dean said, shocked. This was real money, with a real debit card. “Are you sure?”

“Well, you’re taking care of Cas. And me.” Gabriel added that second part very quietly. “No sense in making it any harder than it needs to be, right?”

“Right,” Dean said, trying to gather himself together. “Gabe… thanks. I mean it. This… it takes a lot of stress off.”

“Don’t mention it,” Gabriel said, but he looked significantly more pleased with himself than he ever had before.

Chapter Text

“Shopping,” Sam repeated, like the word was completely foreign to him and he wasn’t sure what it meant. Which was ironic, because Sam was the one who did the vast majority of their grocery runs – he was always bitching that Dean never came back with enough fruits or vegetables for his taste otherwise.

“That’s right,” Dean said with a nod, hoping that his manufactured expression of calm wasn’t going to give away in the face of Sam’s scrutinizing stare.

Truth be told, he wasn’t exactly thrilled with this plan. But he couldn’t see another way around it. He very much doubted Sam was going to feel comfortable shopping for the kinds of things that Castiel needed. Hell, Dean wasn’t all that comfortable with it, but it had to be done. And whoever went shopping couldn’t take Castiel with them; Castiel stood out way too much and would attract more attention than they needed right now.

So that meant someone had to stay at the bunker with Castiel, and Dean had just elected his little brother to be the one to do it. He pretended not to notice the way Sam was staring at him and grabbed his wallet, now containing the debit card Gabriel had given him, and shoved it into his pocket. His hope was that he could make an escape before Sam got over his shock, but alas that plan failed.

“Dude,” Sam said, crossing his arms over his chest. “I told you I wanted no part of this.”

“Come on, Sammy! You wanna starve for the next three weeks until you figure out how to get shit delivered to us?” Dean demanded.

“Why can’t I go shopping?” Sam demanded.

Dean pinned him with the driest look he could muster. “You okay with picking up adult diapers, then?”

Sam visibly blanched. “Uh…”

“That’s what I thought. I’m taking Gabriel with me, so you’ll only have Cas to look after. He’s not that big a deal. He’s just gone down for his nap. He should sleep for a couple of hours. All you have to do is make sure he doesn’t choke to death in his sleep. I think you can do that much for him, Sam, considering Cas dragged your ass out of hell,” Dean said, maybe a bit more sharply than he’d intended, but seriously.

They couldn’t continue this weirdly awkward dance forever, wherein Sam pretended that Castiel didn’t exist, barely spoke to Gabriel unless Gabriel prodded and teased to the point of Sam losing his temper, and the tensions between Sam and Dean could’ve been cut with a knife. It was too hard on all of them. Maybe this was a last ditch effort, but Dean was hoping that spending some time alone with Castiel might finally get through to Sam. If it didn’t, Dean wasn’t sure what they would do.

“Low blow, Dean,” Sam said, scowling in return, but finally sighed and grudgingly muttered, “Fine.”

“Great,” Dean said with forced brightness. “Gabe! Come on!”

There was the soft sound of an angel’s wings and Gabriel appeared. He wrinkled his nose when he saw the keys in Dean’s hands and said, “I’ll meet you there.”

“The hell you will,” Dean said, scowling, and lightly rested a hand on the back of Gabriel’s neck to make sure the angel couldn’t snap away. “I told you no more using your grace and I meant it!”

“But flying barely takes any grace,” Gabriel whined. He sounded younger than he had before, if Dean’s ears weren’t deceiving him, and Dean’s scowl deepened as his fears were confirmed. He pointed a finger into Gabriel’s mock-innocent face and summoned up his sternest voice.

“Even a little bit is too much. I will not have you ending up like Cas, got it?” he said.

Gabriel pouted. “The human way just takes so looooooong.”

Sam snorted before Dean could respond and said, “You sound like Dad.”

“What – I do not!” Dean sputtered, rearing back from Gabriel. The comment profoundly unsettled him. John Winchester’s style of parenting had not been something to be proud of, being liberally sprinkled with rude statements, angry diatribes, screaming matches, and, more frequently than Dean wanted to admit, corporal punishment. The thought of being anything like him was enough to make Dean sweat.

Yet when he turned to look at Sam, and saw the mischievous grin on Sam’s face, he realized that probably wasn’t what Sam had meant. Or at least, he really hoped not. John was the only basis for comparison that Sam had when it came to parenting, unless you counted Dean himself. Dean liked to think that his parenting style, such as it was after being developed through rearing his younger brother, looking after Ben for a year, and now playing foster dad for two angels, geared more towards the few memories he had of his mother.

“He used to take the same tone with me when I wanted to stay home and read rather than go on a hunt,” Sam said, still smirking. His, dare Dean call it, almost playful attitude at least confirmed Dean’s suspicion that Sam didn’t mean the comparison in a negative light, but still. Hearing that from Sam of all people had knocked him off-kilter.

“Yeah, whatever, Sammy. We’ll be back soon,” Dean said, motioning Gabriel towards the door. Surprisingly Gabriel went without argument, and Dean followed him up the steps and outside the bunker.

They tromped across the grass and weeds to the garage. At some point, Dean reflected, they’d have to cut a path. There was an interior way to get to the garage, but it required passing through two rooms that they hadn’t cleaned out yet and he was reluctant to take either angel near anything potentially dangerous. Sam was having a blast making his way through all the weird shit. Dean would have to point him to those two rooms shortly.

“You know he’s wrong, right?” Gabriel said as Dean unlocked the Impala. He opened the door and slid into the passenger’s seat.

“What?” Dean looked over at him as he got into the driver’s seat. It was odd to see Gabriel sitting where Sam usually did. Usually Gabriel rode in the back with Castiel, especially now that Castiel had trouble sitting upright. Gabriel had been using his grace to hold Castiel in place; it belatedly occurred to Dean that they might have to look into having an adult-sized car seat or something like that made.

“You’re nothing like your father,” Gabriel said, very quietly, which drew Dean’s attention back to him immediately. Gabriel met his gaze and Dean’s stomach flipped.

He swallowed. “How do you know anything about my father?”

“I was God’s Messenger. I knew of the role that the Winchester’s would play in the Apocalypse probably before anyone else did,” Gabriel said, sounding unusually serious. “I had left heaven by then, and I usually did my best to stay far away from angelic matters… but every once in a while, I’d take a quick peek just to see how our Father’s grand plan was baking up.”

“And what did you see?” Dean said, forcing himself to ask. Castiel had told him once that raising Dean from hell, and rebuilding Dean’s body, meant that Castiel had seen all of Dean’s memories. That had made Dean uncomfortable, to the point where the two of them had never again discussed it.

For some reason, it had never occurred to Dean to wonder whether any angels had dropped in to peek at him and Sam while they grew up. And that realization made him feel extremely stupid. Of course they had. Frigging angels would’ve wanted to make sure that he and Sam were growing up right – or in Sam’s case, all wrong. Maybe they’d even interfered in a hunt or two that was going sideways: he and Sam couldn’t be vessels if they were dead, after all. The thought sat in the pit of his belly like a hard stone.

“Your father was an asshole,” Gabriel said bluntly. “You think John Winchester would’ve taken two angels in?”

An automatic defence of his father rose to Dean’s lips; he bit it back with difficulty, and instead said, “You and Cas aren’t just angels. You’re family.”

Something flickered in Gabriel’s eyes, there and gone too fast to identify. “You think he would’ve let us get close enough to be considered family? Because I don’t. John wasn’t a bad man, but he was a terrible father. He let you parent Sammy most of the time even when he was around. He couldn’t handle an actual toddler, much less one in an adult’s body. You’d never find John down on the ground with Cassie, playing stuffed animals.”

The tips of Dean’s ears got hot at the reminder, but he refused to let himself get side tracked. “You don’t know that for a fact,” he argued weakly. “My dad – he had his moments.”

Gabriel snorted. “Yeah, but moments of what?” he mumbled. “Look, believe me or don’t… but I’m telling you the truth. You are a way better father than John Winchester could ever dream of. And if you tell anyone I said that, I’ll deny it.”

“Of that, I have no doubt,” Dean said, shocked. He really didn’t know what to make of this. Out of all the people who might have encouraged him when it came to acting like a parent, Gabriel was at the bottom of that list. As he turned the Impala on, he wondered just how much Gabriel had seen.

Because in Dean’s heart, even if he would never say it out loud, he could admit that John really had been a shitty father. He’d tried, but trying wasn’t always good enough when you had two little kids. John had let himself get obsessed with hunting, and he’d pulled Dean and Sam into that life without a second thought. And maybe, if Dean was being kind, it had been about teaching his kids to protect themselves from the supernatural creatures out there at first… but you couldn’t say that within a couple years, it was about flat-out revenge.

Dean had shot a gun for the first time at four. By six, he was an expert shot. He’d gotten a pure silver knife for his fifth birthday. Sam had learned to shoot a gun at six, but only because he was the baby and John had a soft spot for little Sammy with his gap-toothed smile. Between Dean and John, they’d worked to keep Sam innocent as long as they could and not even that had lasted long.

How would Dean have reacted if he’d been in John’s shoes? He brooded over that as they drove towards the town. Gabriel was quiet, either lost in his own thoughts or, for once in his life, being tactful. Castiel wasn’t even technically his kid, and it definitely wasn’t the same as a baby, but Dean had a hard time imagining teaching Castiel to shoot a gun. He’d been too afraid the angel would hurt himself. Or what about Ben? The thought of Ben getting a pure silver knife for his birthday and learning about what that knife would do to a werewolf turned Dean’s stomach, and Ben was twelve now.

He pulled into the Walmart when they got to town and there for a moment before he said, “You know, you’re not as much of a dick as I thought.”

Gabriel started laughing. “Is that your backwards way of saying thank you?”

“No,” Dean lied. “I’m just saying… you’re not like your brothers, that’s all. You’re a hell of a lot better than them.”

“Well, if you’re comparing me to Lucifer…”

“Not just Lucifer. Michael, Raphael… all of them. You and Cas are a cut above the rest,” Dean said, and he meant it. At first he’d thought Gabriel was the same as the rest, or worse. But Dean, better than anyone, knew exactly how badly family could fuck you up, especially after Castiel had given him a few more details on what Gabriel had gone through before fleeing heaven. Now, he knew that Gabriel wasn’t nearly as bad as the rest of the angels.

“Thanks,” Gabriel said. “I’m taking that as a compliment.” He sighed and looked at the store. “Shall we?”

“Sure, but I am not buying you tons of candy,” Dean said, grinning as Gabriel’s prolonged whine followed him out of the car.

Chapter Text

Bringing Gabriel shopping was a mistake. Dean realized that the instant the two of them walked into the Wal-Mart and Gabriel squealed and took off like a shot for the toy department. Dean watched him go, sighing, and then winced when he realized that several people were staring at them. He ducked his head and grabbed a cart, then went to get the things that Castiel needed as well as some groceries.

The cart was heaped high by the time he was finished, and, as Dean glanced at his phone, he realized that picking up the groceries had taken longer than he’d anticipated. He’d spent a large chunk of time pouring over recipes on his phone and figuring out what ingredients were economically sound for a family of four – though it was a rush to realize, as he looked critically between two bottles of barbecue sauce, that he didn’t have to buy the cheapest thing or skimp on what he was buying.

For once in his life, Dean Winchester actually had money. And since Gabriel was adamant that Dean use it, Dean was going to spend it accordingly. He’d piled the cart high with nice cuts of meats, fruits and veggies for Sam, and other delicious odds and ends. It was super dorky, but he couldn’t help feeling excited as he pushed the cart back towards the toy section.

Now that they were in the bunker, Dean was the one who did all of the cooking. Sam may have been a huge fan of salads, but it turned out that a simple sandwich or a store-bought salad were the extent of Sam’s cooking skills. It seemed that Amelia had done the majority of it when Sam was with her. When he was in university, Sam had been like every other student and taken advantage of the mess hall. More than that, Sam just didn’t want to cook.

That was fine with Dean. It turned out that when you weren’t trying to fry eggs on shitty motel radiators, cooking was a lot of fun. He didn’t mind being the one who put supper on the table every night, especially now that he could create his own greasy burgers and french fries. He patted the four packages of ground beef in the cart, grinning to himself. He’d found a recipe online for cheese and bacon stuffed burgers, and he couldn’t wait.

But first, he needed to collect his wayward archangel. This Wal-Mart actually had a pretty decent toy section, probably by virtue of the fact that there weren’t many other toys stores in town. Dean found Gabriel in aisle three and couldn’t help raising his eyebrows when he saw the mass of toys that were sitting around him. Gabriel was so focused on a Barbie doll that he didn’t even notice Dean standing there at first.

“Having fun?” Dean asked mildly, leaning on the cart.

“Human toys are amazing!” Gabriel proclaimed loudly, which garnered a strange look from the woman at the other end of the aisle. Dean gave her a smile, but she quickly set down the toy she was looking at and left. Oh well.

“Yeah, they are,” he said, turning his attention back to Gabriel. “So, pick out what you want and let’s go.”

“I want them all,” Gabriel said, clutching the Barbie box to his chest.

Dean sighed. Okay, he should’ve expected that. “Dude, you can’t get everything. There’ll be nothing left for you to look at the next time we come.”

Gabriel opened his mouth and then paused, clearly uncertain of how to refute that logic. “But… Cassie will love all of them!”

“Cas is the one who’ll love them, huh?” Dean said dryly. He contemplated pointing out that, as he was, Castiel was still a little too young to enjoy most of the toys surrounding Gabriel. They’d have to look at the toys that were meant for toddlers or babies: simple, bright colors, and easy to play with.

His first instinct was to tell Gabriel that he couldn’t have the toys, but Dean stopped himself before he could open his mouth and ruin the hope painted across Gabriel’s face. Really, why couldn’t Gabriel get the toys? They had the money and there was loads of space at the bunker. The trunk and backseat of the Impala were going to be stuffed, but after a lifetime of packing up the Impala, Dean knew how to make things fit.

What really decided him was the hopeful look in Gabriel’s eyes. It would be way too easy to turn that hope into disappointment. God knew Dean had had to do that enough times to Sammy. How many times had his baby brother asked for a toy or something like that, only for Dean to have to say no because they didn’t have the money or John wouldn’t approve? He didn’t want Castiel and Gabriel to know what that was like. The two of them had been through enough; they deserved some fun.

“Pleeeeeeeeease,” Gabriel begged, making his eyes all big and, Dean hated to admit it, cute.

“Sure,” Dean said. “You can get… all of them.” He gestured around to the toys. “We’ll probably have to get another cart.”

Gabriel squealed in joy. “Thank you, Dean!”

His genuine joy was more than enough to make Dean smile. “No problem. I’ll go get a car. Then we’ll pick out some stuff for Cas and head back. I don’t want to leave him and Sam home for too long.”

He left Gabriel in the toys and went to get another cart. When he returned, Gabriel carefully helped to put everything inside. As he straightened up, Dean spotted a Harry Potter Lego set on the shelf. Instantly, he remembered Sam desperately wanting a Lego set when they were kids and John saying no because they didn’t have the money to spend on stupid toys. Dean clenched his jaw and grabbed the Lego set, adding it to the cart – he was pretty sure Sam loved Harry Potter.

They picked out some toys for Castiel, including some books, and then went to the front. The total was well over a thousand dollars, which made Dean’s heart skip a couple beats. It would probably take some time before the fact that they were no longer completely broke fully sank in. And while a thousand bucks was a lot of money, it was barely a drop in the bucket. Besides, the smile on Gabriel’s face was worth it.

After packing everything back into the car, Dean got in and they drove back to the bunker. It was a surprise to realize that the shopping trip had actually been enjoyable. Turned out shopping was fun when you weren’t stressing over every penny, or worried that someone was going to cotton on to your credit card fraud. Dean was smiling as they parked and started carrying things in.

“Sam?” he called out as they entered. “Sammy! Cas, we’re back!”

His words echoed in that unpleasant way. Dean frowned, but helped Gabriel carry in the rest of the stuff. He left Gabriel tearing open the box of his Barbie and went searching for Sam and Castiel. His concern mounted with each room he checked, finding a lack of angel or brother. Had Sam taken Castiel somewhere? Had someone broken in? Everything looked like it was fine…

And then Dean got to the bedrooms.

“Oh my god,” he whispered to himself, fear melting away instantly to be replaced by shock and awe.

Sam was laying on Dean’s bed, flat on his back. Because Sam was a handful of inches taller, his feet hunt off the edge of Dean’s bed. Castiel was curled up beside him, head on Sam’s chest, mouth open and drooling. One of Sam’s arms was loosely wrapped around Castiel. The other hand was propping up one of the few children’s books Gabriel had snapped up.

“What?” Gabriel said. “Did you – oh, that’s perfect.” He cackled loudly when he saw them.

Dean shushed him automatically, not wanting to wake Sam or Castiel from their nap and took his phone out of his pocket. Not too long ago, Sam had insisted they upgrade to smartphones even though Dean had been perfectly happy with his old phone. Sam’s reasoning was that it would be way easier to do research on the fly this way, plus if they had to take pictures or record something they’d end up with much clearer images. Now that they had the money to pay for their phones, Dean didn’t disagree.

But he still smirked widely as he took his phone out and snapped a picture of the two on the bed. He was 100% sure that this was not what Sam had intended the phones to be used for, but that was Sam’s problem. He peered at the screen and saw that his phone had captured the two of them in perfect clarity, down to the bit of drool that was starting to roll down Sam’s cheek.

“I wanna wake them up,” Gabriel announced.

“Oh no, you don’t,” Dean said, clamping a hand down on Gabriel’s shoulder. “You have no idea what it’s like to wake a sleeping baby, but I don’t really wanna listen to Cas bawl for hours on end cause he’s tired. Come on. You can play with your toys while I make supper.”

Gabriel pouted, but nodded and stepped back from the door. Dean took a couple more shots, just to make sure he had the feel of the scene fully captured, and then partially closed the door behind them. He led Gabriel back into the kitchen and started putting away the groceries. Gabriel plunked himself down on the floor with a pile of toys around him; Dean put Castiel’s toys in the living room for now. Then he started mixing together ground beef and a few other ingredients for meatballs.

“You know, humanity is much cleverer and more creative than my brethren gives them credit for,” Gabriel said unexpectedly, several minutes later.

Dean turned around. “What do you mean?”

“Angels don’t have anything like this,” Gabriel said, leaning back against one of the kitchen cabinets and looking up at Dean. “We have no need for them. I bet some of them could really benefit from playing with some toys once in a while. Maybe it would remove the gigantic stick up their butts.”

An image struck Dean and he snorted. “Can you imagine Zachariah playing with a doll?”

“Or Lucy,” Gabriel said with a smirk, perching his Barbie on his knee.

“Maybe you’re right, but most angels think so poorly of humans that I doubt they’d even try,” Dean said. He kept forming meatballs but couldn’t help casting another glance at Gabriel. What would the angels think if they knew their long-lost archangel was sitting at Dean’s feet, playing with human toys? What they think of what had happened to Castiel?

“Probably,” Gabriel said, humming in agreement. Then he squealed. “Look! They put in purple shoes too!”

Dean shook his head, amused. Whatever kept Gabriel quiet, honestly. He got the meatballs in the oven and started working on a huge pot of sauce, dicing up tomatoes and adding liberal amounts of garlic, onions and spices. He’d just dumped in a bunch of spinach, because at least that way Sam couldn’t whine too much about health, when a familiar voice spoke up.

“Dean? When did you guys get home?”

“De!” Cas squealed at the same time.

“We’ve been home a couple hours,” Dean said, turning around and smiling at Castiel. He moved forward and took the angel from Sam, hugging Castiel tightly. Castiel babbled and grabbed at Dean’s shirt.

Sam narrowed his eyes slightly. “So, you saw…”

“Saw what?” Dean asked with an innocent look. He tried not to laugh as he watched Sam visibly struggle. Clearly Sam wanted to know if Dean had seen them, but if Dean hadn’t seen them than he didn’t want to admit that there was something to see.

Finally, Gabriel grew merciful and said, “You mean you and Cassie sleeping on Dean’s bed? Yeah, we saw.”

Sam flushed to the tips of his ears. “Cas missed you after you left, okay? I thought putting him on your bed might make him feel better. But it was hard to get comfortable, so I laid down too…”

“It’s fine, Sammy,” Dean said. “That memory foam is amazing, I told you.” He set Castiel down next to Gabriel. Castiel immediately picked up Gabriel’s Barbie and was two seconds from sticking it in his mouth when Gabriel quickly took it away.

In spite of Dean’s good humor, Sam still looked grumpy. Dean caught Gabriel’s eye and meaningfully flicked his gaze towards the living room. Gabriel took the hint, gathered Castiel and the toys up, and trudged into the living room. It would mean an absolute mess of toys later, Dean was sure, but it was worth it if he finally got a few minutes alone with Sam. It wasn’t easy to find time when one or both angels weren’t around.

Then he turned to Sam and said, “Look. I know you find it really weird that Cas and Gabe are here, and I get that. You came back, so you must be semi-okay with it. I just… I’m tired of things being awkward.”

Sam crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s fine. I guess I don’t mind it so much anymore,” he said. “And I can tell that you like it… taking care of them, I mean. I never really pictured you as the mommy type.”

“Dudes can’t be moms,” Dean said with an embarrassed huff. “And I do. Like it. It’s nice.” He couldn’t really say much more than that. It was too hard to put into words, and frankly it was bad enough that Sam could recognize that without Dean saying anything. His brother knew him too well sometimes.

“Men can totally be moms, Dean,” Sam said, rolling his eyes. “But fine. Their dad, then. It doesn’t matter. Either way, they take up a lot of your time.” He didn’t quite meet Dean’s gaze as he said that, staring down at the floor like it was something fascinating. Dean followed his gaze automatically and saw that Sam was staring at a discarded blue Barbie shoe.

And it struck Dean then, what the real problem was, and he could’ve slapped himself for being so goddamn stupid as to not have seen it before. Sam had never had a problem with Castiel or Gabriel being around before, but then the two angels had flitted in and out of their lives. Castiel, at least, had been family for some time now, but he’d never occupied so much of Dean’s attention. Attention which was usually focused, if not entirely on Sam, on immaterial things that didn’t really matter in the long run.

Dean rubbed a hand over his face – this was too much gross mushy stuff for his taste – and sighed. “Oh my god, Sam. You don’t have to be jealous over Cas and Gabe.”

“Wh-what? I – I’m not – ” Sam sputtered, looking absolutely mortified and also confirming Dean’s suspicions that Sam was totally jealous.

“You so are,” Dean said, not unkindly. He could’ve taken the chance to tease Sam mercilessly over this, but he had the feeling that would only drive Sam further away. That wasn’t what Dean wanted.

He walked over and grabbed the Lego set off the table, shoving it against Sam’s chest. Sam looked down, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. But Dean also saw the way Sam’s eyes lit up when he saw the Harry Potter logo. A little part of Dean melted. Gigantic jerk or not, Sam would always be his little brother. He just hadn’t realized Sam needed affirmation of that.

“You’re my kid brother, Sammy,” Dean said quietly. “Having Cas and Gabe here doesn’t change that. It’s true that right now they need me more than you do… but that doesn’t change anything between you and me. You’re every bit as important to me as they are, okay? I haven’t forgotten about you, and I never will. You matter.” Hell, Sam had been his first kid in a way. It was literally impossible for Dean not to care about him.

Sam didn’t say anything for a moment. His eyes looked a bit watery when he said, in a choked voice, “Thanks Dean.”

“Sure,” Dean said, uncomfortable with both the intimacy of the moment and his little speech.

Fortunately, at that moment there was a small crash from the living room. Castiel immediately began bawling. Gabriel’s voice rose up over the howling, proclaiming his innocence. Dean sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering how he’d gotten himself into this, while Sam smirked.

“I think that’s your cue, Mama,” Sam teased, looking lighter and happier than he had in days.

“Shut up Sam, and stir the sauce,” Dean grumbled. He heard Sam laugh as he left the room and couldn’t help the small smile that crossed his face. Even as he stepped into the middle of an angel squabble, Dean was happy.