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Whilst investigating the death of a local train conductor, a crippled cripple called Johnny Joestar uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, STEEL STEEL BALLS circulating throughout AMRCA. As soon as anyone uses the STEEL BALLS, he or she has exactly 69 days left to live.

The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look CRIPPLED. A marked person feels like a Tasty dinosaur to touch.

Johnny gets hold of the STEEL BALLS, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into his mind: a moist hotpants balancing on a diego train conductor, an old newspaper headline about a TOILET EXPLOSION accident, a hooded BIRD ranting about LEG and a drinking well located in a dusty place.

When Johnny notices his DICK have dinosaur-like properties, he realises that the curse of the STEEL STEEL BALLS is true and calls in his italian husband, a guy who dies first called Gyro Zeppeli, to help.

Gyro examines the STEEL BALLS and willingly submits himself to the curse. He finds that the same visions flash before his eyes. He finds the moist hotpants balancing on a diego train conductor particularly chilling. He joins the queue for a supernatural death.

Johnny and Gyro pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded BIRD. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?

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Galo Thymos suspected something was a little off when his hotpants kray foreskin tried to nude hugging him when he was just six years old. Nevertheless, he lived a relatively normal life among other humans.

It wasn't until he bumped into the devilishly himbo Burnish, Lio Fotia, that his life finally began to make sense.

However, Lio proved to be twink and seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with canibilising. Galo soon learnt that Lio had taken an oath never to smother with kisses a human being.

When Galo's hotpants kray foreskin is injured in a burnish explosion accident, Galo realises his own life is at risk.

Despite Lio's twink and Shmol, Galo finds himself falling for the Burnish. Only fate will decided whether he kills or protects him.

One night, a Kray Foreskin appears before Galo and warns him of a darkness within Lio. The Kray Foreskin gives Galo the hot dinosaur - the only weapon that can defeat a himbo Burnish.

Will Galo find it in himself to kill the only creature who has ever made him feel truly AROUSED? (Hint: yes!)

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There's a MANLY new boy in CHROM CHROM and he has everybody talking. Stunningly THICC and devastatingly BIGGG, all the boys want him. However, JONATHAN JOESTAR has a secret - he's a DIO vampire.

DIO BRANDO is a crippled, CHONK boy who enjoys FRUIT PICKING. He becomes fascinated by JONATHAN who can stop DIO'S DICK with his bare hands. He doesn't understand why he's so standoffish.

His best friend, a BIG sausage DINOSAUR called R.E.O, helps DIO begin to piece together the puzzle. Together, they discover the ultimate weapon - the HOT, STEEL STEEL GIORNO GIOVANNA.

When bodies start turning up all over CHROM CHROM, DIO begins to fear the worst. The DINOSAUR urges her to report JONATHAN to the police and he knows he should, so what's stopping him?

He may resist JONATHAN's bite, but can he resist his charms?

Will he be caught PICKING ON A CRIPPLE FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO WALK with the vampire?

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The eradication of fugo's thong has destroyed the world as we know it.

The year is 2020. school is a filled with the jelly extract taken from the grade 7s place ruled by dbeeb. Once glorious, my heart is now broken.

Cheese teacher slayer, pannacotta fucking fugo is humanity's only hope. fugo finds the courage to start a secret revolutionary organization called purple smoke.

The fight is jeopardised when fugo is tricked by thong thong, thong thong thong, and injures his male reproductive organ.

Armed with smoke and purple, purple smoke try their best to save mankind, but can they defeat dumb dbeeb and restore my heart to its former glory?

Chapter Text

Johnny Joestar looked at the fat STEEL BALLS in his hands and felt anger.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his moist surroundings. He had always loved warm Gyro's bedroom with its troubled, talented the many piles of discarded pizza boxes. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel anger.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Diego Brando. Diego was a crippled dinosaur with thiccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc LEG and drooping ARM.

Johnny gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a lustful, sexy, GYRO'S PISS drinker with swollen LEG and crippled ARM. His friends saw him as a courageous, cool cripple. Once, he had even helped an alive Danny the dog cross the road.

But not even a lustful person who had once helped an alive Danny the dog cross the road, was prepared for what Diego had in store today.

The weatherreport teased like bopping dinosaur, making Johnny valentine.

As Johnny stepped outside and Diego came closer, he could see the bright glint in his eye.

"Look Johnny," growled Diego, with a thicc glare that reminded Johnny of crippled dog. "I hate you and I want A loving relationship. You owe me 3724 bucks."

Johnny looked back, even more valentine and still fingering the fat STEEL BALLS. "Diego, i want to stick a large spiky intercourse toy up your dino ass," he replied.

They looked at each other with hotpants feelings, like two nice, nasty narancia gyrating at a very dinosaur Horse race, which had line dancing music music playing in the background and two hotpants uncles making love to the beat.

Johnny regarded Diego's thiccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc LEG and drooping ARM. "I don't have the funds ..." he lied.

Diego glared. "Do you want me to shove that fat STEEL BALLS where the sun don't shine?"

Johnny promptly remembered his lustful and sexy values. "Actually, I do have the funds," he admitted. He reached into his pockets. "Here's what I owe you."

Diego looked funny, his wallet blushing like a handsome, hissing HOT PANTS'S PANTS.

Then Diego came inside for a nice drink of GYRO'S PISS.

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The damp, feckin wild town of hotto pantsu holds a secret.

Diego Brando has the perfect life working as a gamer in the city and hopping in a shopping cart and causing havok in the local supermarket with his manly girlfriend, Hot Pants Hot Pants.

However, when he finds a moist a lemon in his cellar, he begins to realise that things are not quite as they seem in the Brando family.

The excavation of Jesus Christ leaves Diego with some startling questions about his past, and he sets off to gay as hotto pantsu to find some answers.

At first the people of hotto pantsu are nerd and muscular. He is intrigued by the curiously gentle d10 staff, Johnny Joestar. However, after he introduces him to hard the juicy sweet smell of freshly buried babies, Diego slowly finds himself drawn into a web of having a paraphilia fetish, drinking piss and perhaps, even touching the steel steel balls.

Can Diego resist the charms of Johnny Joestar and uncover the secret of the moist a lemon before it's too late, or will his demise become yet another hotto pantsu legend?

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Mangled pancreases have been turning up all over the kingdom of cheese and the inhabitants are scared. Ten murders in ten weeks, all committed with a leaf, and still nobody has a clue who the stinky rat man killer is.

Cheese Pannacotta Fugo is a thicc and crippled str*pper with a fondness for sucking toes. He doesn't know it yet but he is the only one who can stop the HOT PANTS killer.

When his husband, Giorno Giovanna, is kidnapped, Cheese Fugo finds himself thrown into the centre of the investigation. His only clue is a HOT MY DICK.

He enlists the help of a BIG sausage sugar daddy called Narancia Ghirga.

Can Ghirga help Fugo overcome his the juicy sweet smell of freshly buried babies addiction and find the answers before the Diego Brando killer and his deadly leaf strike again?

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Narancia Ghirga is a hotto pantsu gaymer from old Vatican City. He leads a rueful life. However, all that changes when Narancia books a summer holiday to the scent of decaying sea animals HELL.

At first Narancia finds HELL very cheesy. Then there's the mysterious, emo palaeontologist, Pannacotta Fugo, who makes him feel AROUSED.

When Pannacotta invites him on a jumping off a bridge while strapped to a canoe and floating down the mountain rivers until you reach the dragon's keep expedition, Narancia begins to realise that Pannacotta is a deeply poser and stinky rat man man.

Narancia knows in his heart that Pannacotta is the man for him. However, to secure his happiness, Narancia must fend off the insane gay str*pper, Guido Mista, who wants to get his claws into Pannacotta.

Using her gay youtube play buttons and a mutual love of Hieroglyphics, Narancia sets out to snare Pannacotta once and for all. But will the emo gaymer return his affections?

Auto Praise for The Mysterious, Emo Gaymer
"Sizzling hot. I wish a mysterious, emo gaymer would fall into my life."
- The Daily Tale
"The dullest summer story ever written. How would gay youtube play buttons and a mutual love of Hieroglyphics attract anybody?"
- Enid Kibbler
"I'm going to rush out and book a jumping off a bridge while strapped to a canoe and floating down the mountain rivers until you reach the dragon's keep expedition."
- Hit the Spoof
"I once went to 'the scent of decaying sea animals' HELL on holiday but I didn't find it cheesy."

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Cereza Bayonetta is a minecraft, nerd and tasty cripple from Vatican City. Her life is going nowhere until she meets Corrin Kamui, a THICC, scene kid man with a passion for alphabet soup.

Cereza takes an instant disliking to Corrin and the loser and bad-y ways he learnt during his years in your mum.

However, when a DORA tries to FRICK FRACKING Cereza, Corrin springs to the rescue. Cereza begins to notices that Corrin is actually rather MANLY at heart.

But, the pressures of Corrin's job as a guy who dies first leave him blind to Cereza's affections and Cereza takes up sucking chickens to try an distract himself.

Finally, when baby hhdskdjvnbhut8rifjvm, Shulk Backslash, threatens to come between them, Corrin has to act fast. But will they ever find the arousing love that they deserve?

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Josuke Higashikata is just an ordinary sixteen-year-old boy living in Morioh, until he sees a horrifying troll, called Rohan Kishibe, climb in through his bedroom window.

Rohan, who is built like a potato filled with rocks and smells like grated Butt smothered with sauce made from poopies, sings a song about making little boys into Panna cottas.

Josuke tricks the troll into falling out of his window by telling him that there are child-brain spaghettis outside. He realises that the troll has to be stopped before he eats any more children and sets to work trying to invent a trap.

Meanwhile, in a cave just outside Morioh, Jotaro Kujo starts to suspect that eating children is wrong, and grows tired of hunting with his fellow trolls. He decides to live as a vegetarian.

After a brief misunderstanding involving a pancreas and lashings of ketchup, Josuke and Jotaro team up to stop the trolls, using a catapult that fires asparaguses. They lure the trolls by creating a big mound of Rohan's thong.

Chapter Text

Ryo Asuka is a fluffy and crippled orphan raised by a idiotic and meany meany baddy bad gang-upperer. Eventually he gets a job working as a filthy acts at a reasonable price for the arousing Lord Fudo of Fudo Teepee. The unlikely couple rapidly succumb to a icky passion.

On the day of their wedding, a melancholic satan escapes from the attic of Fudo Teepee and starts a fire. Believing that Lord Fudo is dead, Ryo flees from the church and wanders the tasteful moors for days until he is rescued by a hotpants faeces sampler.

However, although Lord Fudo is blinded by the fire, he still breathes. Without Ryo he becomes rohan and flaccid. He turns to alcohol for comfort. The ghost of the satan from the attic haunts him.

Meanwhile, thinking Lord Fudo is dead, Ryo accepts a marriage proposal from his saviour, the faeces sampler. However, one night he believes he can hear Lord Fudo calling, "Ryo, where are you? Ryo come home!" and he returns to Fudo Teepee.

On Ryo's return, he finds Lord Fudo drunk and without sight. Mistaking him for the ghost of the melancholic satan, he attacks him with a leaves and Ryo Asuka dies.

As he attends to the body, Lord Fudo realises what he has done. Driven mad with guilt, he hatches a plan to destroy the next generation, but there is no next generation and he dies of consumption two weeks later.

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In a Jotaro's sea feck shack there lived a wry, acoustic dolphin named Pannacotta Fugo. Not a crippled depressed, moist Jotaro's sea feck shack, filled with purples and a lackadaisucal smell, nor yet a didactic, brown, warm Jotaro's sea feck shack with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a dolphin-Jotaro's sea feck shack, and that means feckable sea critters.

One day, after a troubling visit from the megalodon Massimo Volpe, Pannacotta leaves his Jotaro's sea feck shack and sets out in search of three diego kidney stones. A quest undertaken in the company of star feeesh, Rohans and majestic hotpantses.

In the search for the megalodon-guarded kidney stones, Pannacotta Fugo surprises even himself with his beating his professor with a text book after he molests him and skill as a gangster.

During his travels, Pannacotta rescues a big boi cuppa coffee, an heirloom belonging to Massimo. But when Massimo refuses to try spitting, their friendship is over.

However, Massimo is wounded at the Battle of idk that battle between fugo and volpe at the end of phf and the two reconcile just before Pannacotta engages in some serious spitting.

Pannacotta accepts one of the three diego kidney stones and returns home to his Jotaro's sea feck shack a very wealthy dolphin.

Auto Praise for Pannacotta Fugo, the Dolphin
"A search for three diego kidney stones was always going to be compelling. The addition of star feeesh, Rohans and hotpantses just makes it even more awesome."
- The Daily Tale
"OMG! It's like Lord of the Rings with added Rohans."
- One of the Kidz
"About as enjoyable as eating my own toes. I wish Massimo had kept refusing to do any spitting. The whole thing would have been a lot shorter."
- Enid Kibbler
"I love Massimo. I would have liked to see more of him."
- Hit the Spoof
"I prefer the real Tolkien."
- Zob Gloop

Chapter Text

A long, long time ago in a damp, damp galaxy...

After leaving the ruthlessq planet uranus, a group of cheeto fugos fly toward a distant speck. The speck gradually resolves into a melancholy, space the school hall.

Civil war strikes the galaxy, which is ruled by Funny Valentine, a dry ps2 abbacchio capable of kissing someone to asphyxiate them and even kicking someone under the train tracks so that their organs are attached to the wheels as the train rolls off into the sunset and they stops because it ran out of fuel.

Terrified, a crippled danny the dog mouse known as Diego Brando flees the Empire, with his protector, Johnny Joestar.

They head for Morioh on the planet ZA WARUDO. When they finally arrive, a fight breaks out. Joestar uses his damp big encyclopedia to defend Diego.

Joestar and Danny the dog mouse Diego decide it's time to leave ZA WARUDO and steal a pickle to shoot their way out.

They encounter a tribe of giorno hair donuts. Joestar is attacked and the danny the dog mouse is captured by the giorno hair donuts and taken back to Morioh.

Joestar must fight to save Danny the dog mouse Diego but when he accidentally unearths a lovey-dovey abbacchio's piss in a nice fancy tea cup, the entire future of the damp, ruthlessq galaxy is at stake.

Chapter Text

1. The person claiming to be eDDIE kAsPbRaK is actually one of his triplets.

2. Richie Tozier was stolen as a baby and brought up by kidnappers.

3. Bill Denbrough and eDDIE kAsPbRaK are both manifestations of Richie Tozier's subconscious.

4. Earth has been destroyed and they're all living in a virtual reality.

5. The whole plot is a novel, rather than reality.

6. eDDIE kAsPbRaK is actually a zombie.

7. The whole plot is a premonition, not reality.

8. Bill Denbrough has been dead all along.

9. eDDIE kAsPbRaK is head of the criminal organisation they've been fighting.

10. It turns out they are all rabbits.

11. Richie Tozier turns to the dark side.

12. eDDIE kAsPbRaK is actually Richie Tozier's brother.

13. It turns out they are all living in a computer game.

14. eDDIE kAsPbRaK has been possessed the whole time.

15. It's really ten years into the future.

16. Bill Denbrough is really a vampire.

17. Bill Denbrough is just a brain in a jar.

18. Richie Tozier wasn't born but created in a lab.

19. Richie Tozier used to be a woman but didn't realise as he has been suffering from amnesia.

20. The person we think is the villain is actually working for a bigger villain.

Chapter Text

Someone like Griffith

A Smorgasbord Romance
by rewasyuklerikutjhjvkel;pdou6yntk,uielskjritfgurkyoijkvurdtodilyhtijfvwkrehyftjkivcgre

Jotaro Kujo is a hot sexy damn, closet gay and femboy epic gaymer from the basement. His life is going nowhere until he meets Griffith lbbvhsdhubg, a big galaxy brain nerd, thicc man with a passion for taxes.

Jotaro takes an instant disliking to Griffith and the crippled and naughty ways he learnt during his years in Jotaro's sea feck shack.

However, when a Ryo Asuka's sentient floating head tries to hold hands before marriage Jotaro, Griffith springs to the rescue. Jotaro begins to notices that Griffith is actually rather absolutely delicious at heart.

But, the pressures of Griffith's job as a femboy hooter leave him blind to Jotaro's affections and Jotaro takes up having the hanky panky in a large group to try an distract himself.

Finally, when evil evil bady bad how dare they be bady bad asswipe dark web manager, Rohan Quiche, threatens to come between them, Griffith has to act fast. But will they ever find the smorgasbord love that they deserve?