Chapter Text
When Giyuu was informed Shinobu would refrain from partaking in the pillar training he was soon struck with a neverending agitation. When her ashened appearance would flicker in his mind he would instantly become disquieted.
He desperately held onto the false hope that his beloved flower would be alright; he believed it'd survive the harshest conditions it's environment had to offer and he believed he'd be able to relish it's beauty once again.
The last time he and Shinobu shared a decent conversation was probably 3 months ago; during that night when they had become one and it had been 2 months since he last saw his precious flower. He missed her, but unfortunately he couldn't verbally express his longing for her as his beloved refused to meet eyes with him. He noticed how she desperately tried to steer her paths away from him, and it pained him. He didn't understand what mistake he had made that his mind had been omitting.
But it had been too long; and enough was enough. He yearned to see her as his restless heart refused to allow him to sit idly.
Sanemi and Obanai were both slightly more skillfull swordsmen than Giyuu was; however if Giyuu wished to, with enough precision in his attacks and dodges he could reign unscathed during these spars yet he chose to be littered with bruises. According to him, it was a good excuse to see her.
He was certain she'd reprimand him for sustaining such injuries during a mere spar but he was also certain that the tenderness she procured would oblige her to mend his wounds.
However this time, his precious flower didn't tend to him. Much to Giyuu's dismay when he stumbled into the butterfly estate injured; it wasn't Shinobu who rushed to aid him. The one who fixed him up was her apprentice named Aoi.
Watching her avoid him this way caused his heart to ache with misery. Perhaps Giyuu wasn't upfront about it but the feelings he had for her were inestimable, too much to display with dire emotions and actions.
Shinobu sat alone in the premises of her room. Lately she had accustomed herself to such loneliness, she believed she'd draw out better conclusions in solitude yet her thoughts were still hazy as her mind remained clouded with confusion.
She stared at the cup of wisteria infused tea in her palms whilst wearing a forlorn expression. Currently what she was doing was more than suicide; she was committing murder as well.
Her eyes soon started to brim with tears that threatened to roll down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She softly whispered to no one in particular. She wasn't sure to who she should've been apologising too but according to her a sorry at the moment was befitting.
When Shinobu was lost in her misery, the door of her room had suddenly slid open; causing Giyuu to slip into her chambers. He wore a distraught expression, something that she had done to him.
"Do you hate me that much?" He questioned her in a stern tone, letting her know he was upset.
With her superhuman reflexes, Shinobu was quick to wipe the tears that stained her face in an attempt to compose herself.
"What do you need Tomioka-san?"
"You." He answered firmly, clear of any hesitance. He was aware his response was too bold and too brash but he wanted to get it across her; that she held importance in his heart.
However even upon hearing his endearing words, Shinobu's stern expression didn't falter. "Don't be foolish, that is something I cannot give to you."
"And why's that?" He firmly grips her by her bony shoulders. She has become dangerously pale, her complexion currently resembles the color of snow and such a fact worries him. "Have I done something wrong? Why do you avoid me?"
"Because people don't make jolly conversations after sympathy flings, Tomioka-san. You and I are no longer in the position to be friendly with one and another."
"Kochou." He starts, "I do not pity you, that was not a sympathy fling." He confesses. " I lo-"
"Enough!" "What has happened has happened. Bygones should be left as bygones. It was a mistake Tomioka-san. Adults make such mistakes." She laces her words with poison as she sternly delivers them. Her eyes have become glossy yet she desperately tries to hold onto her composed facade.
The man infront of her was already a broken individual and here she was shattering him even further.
"Look me in the eye and tell me I don't mean anything to you Kochou."
She's affirmative if she looks deep into his electrifying blue eyes, she'll shatter to crumbles. She momentarily glances up to him and her legs involuntarily buckle; causing her to lose her footing.
The affliction in his tone is transparent. She knows she has a hold on his heart yet she knows returning this love would be equivalent to letting her resolve waiver. As much as she wants to onto hold him, she knows that the weight of their sky will only allow her to let go.
His affection for her isn't one sided, he too has a special place in her heart but unlike him who's fortunate enough to love her with the entirety of his heart; she can only love him with part of it. The Chambers of her heart carry too much: they harbor hatred for demons, they harbor her caged wrath, they harbor sorrow and longing for Kanae, they harbor feelings for the tight lipped water pillar and they harbor remorse for the choices she makes.
"You're my comrade Tomioka-san." "That is all that you are to me; as I am to you." She lies through her gritted teeth. It's the only plausible response she can give. She cannot love him, love is eternal, she is not; she has to depart from his side in a span of few months and that is their reality.
Hearing her response caused his shoulders to droop involuntarily. 'Perhaps she doesn't love me after all.' He mentally concludes. He swallows the lump that had formed in his throat and he decides to leave her be, he has already imposed himself enough.
"Oh." His voice croaks ever so slightly, "Sorry then." His gaze falls from her elegant frame to the wooden floorboards as he drags himself out of her Chambers.
Once the room is filled with absence and silence once again, Shinobu allows herself to shatter. As much as she tries to force herself to swallow the poisoned concoction; she cannot bring herself to do so.
She gracefully falls to the ground as her arms wrap around her figure. Her right arm latches to her left shoulder and her left palm remains transfixed on her abdomen. "I'm so sorry." She whispers to the child that's currently being nurtured in her belly.
Shinobu stays in that position for a while. She desperately wishes her situation was different.
After some time, she feels a warm cloth being clad around her shoulders. When she looks up, she finally meets eyes with him once again.
"Wear warmer clothes." He instructs her as he tenderly wraps his haori around her.
Unable to restrain herself or her emotions anymore, Shinobu is quick to throw herself onto him; engulfing him into a hug. It was unfair, their fate was too crippled, too cruel. Shinobu wanted to run free from her worries, if she could she wanted to travel to a world where demons ceased from existence, she wanted to escape elsewhere alongside the man she currently embraced. She wanted to bring their child into this world, she wanted to nurture it instead of feeding their child poison in the form of nutrition.
"Tell me now, tell me what I mean to you." He embraces her back, refusing to let his flower go.
"I... I like you." She confesses like a child. "No I... I love you." She whispers so only he can hear. "I love you." She repeats once again before delicately pressing her lips against his bruised ones.
He brings his left hand closer to her porcelain face and wipes away the glassy tears that stain her cheek. He isn't bothered about his already bruised bottom lip as he presses back against her soft velvety ones.
He savours her lips like it's his last chance to do so. He mentally memorises how soft her lips feel and the sweet taste that lingers in his mouth every time they kiss. He wants to paint a picture of her as a whole and lock it away in his memory for eternity. His arms instinctively lift her up as his lips remain on hers.
However she instantly pulls away as she's afraid to inflict more damage onto his already bruises soft lips.
She involuntarily runs her thumb across his chapped bottom lip, as he stares at her with half lidded eyes filled with adoration for her and only her alone. Her fingers glide against his honeyed skin before she plants soft kisses against them. She starts with his face; cupping his chiseled jaw into her small palms, she plants a soft kiss on his forehead and then moves to each side of his cheeks. She plants a soft kiss on the tip of his nose before softly brushing her lips against the corners of his mouth. Her mouth then sinfully latches onto the curve of his jaw, as she plants a trail of wet kisses till his neck. Once she's satisfied with the number red marks she has painted onto his skin, she pulls back.
"I... want to ask you something."
"Please don't." She pleads him as her palms involuntarily cover his mouth. "I cannot answer you now."
The question Giyuu wanted to ask was for her hand in his but all he does for now is plant a soft kiss on cold palms that rest atop his mouth. He was always selective of the people he chose to be acquainted with, but Shinobu was someone who had wrung her way into his heart and now refused to leave from it's position. All he wanted at the moment, was for her to be his and his only but for now he had once again caged his words as per his flower's request. Perhaps now wasn't a good time but he was affirmative when this war would succumb to an end and if he were to survive the casualties of it; he'd ask her to be his for eternity. It was a promise he was hoping she'd fulfil.