Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

--- day 0/ day 1 ---

When Shouta Aizawa walked into the staffroom this morning, it was in complete disarray. This, in and of itself, was not an unusual occurrence. In fact, when all of the staff held down at least two jobs – doubling as teachers and pro heroes no less – and survived solely on sleep-deprived induced adrenaline and shitty instant coffee, the word hectic could be very easily applied. Mornings in particular were quite intense with frantic last-minute lesson plans, makeup touches, scattered papers and raised voices all being considered the norm.

Perhaps the only person who was unaffected by the typical chaos of a morning was Aizawa himself. This wasn’t because he was somehow less busy or less unorganised than anyone else, not at all. it was simply because he cared less about keeping up appearances. As an underground hero, he paid little mind to aesthetics and the public eye, perfectly content to do his job without excessive gratitude or recognition. Each little thrill and gracious smile that came with another life saved was more than enough to make up the difference. Things such as flashy costumes and flashy smiles were just worthless frivolities in his dry eyes. They weren't rational after all.

Aside from a slightly lackluster view of the heroics industry, underground heroics also left Shouta with a larger serving of sleep deprivation than the other teachers present and with that, an equally generous helping of nonchalance when it came to the locations in which he slept, a fact to which his obnoxious yellow sleeping bag would clearly attest to. By this point, he could very easily fall asleep in that bag under a wide variety of circumstances, ranging from homely and domestic on some days to decidedly very obscure situations on others. In all honesty, he was quite proud of himself for developing this strange habit; it had provided him with a precious, albeit somewhat awkward escape route to many migraine-inducing scenarios in the past, such as the headless panics he was witness to every morning. It also allowed him to watch his students without their knowledge and consequently strike divine fear into their teenaged hearts whenever the situation required it or just whenever the whim caught him. And if Aizawa enjoyed scaring his students doing this? Well, that was just a perk of the job.

However, right here and now, watching the panic unfold, Aizawa was really not seeing any perks of the job.

While he had the skills to avoid this entire situation like he did every other time, sadly, he had to acknowledge that this mayhem concerned him just as much as it did the others. From an outsider’s point of view, he looked as uninterested as usual with dark eyes boring into the far wall of the staffroom with what could only be described as clinical detachment. That, however, could not have been further from what Shouta was feeling like right now. He was, dare he say, freaking out right now and one fleeting glance at the other teachers told him that the feeling was very much mutual. The pandemonium occurring at this moment, you see, was a little different to the usual clambering of the staffroom and for one very simple reason:

Nedzu had been getting bored recently.

To any ordinary school, the boredom of one’s principal would not cause such alarm but for the teachers at UA who were employed by a sadistic, sociopathic rat…thing, they knew better. So much better. It was certainly no exaggeration to say that Nedzu’s boredom could quite literally spell the end of the world as they knew it. They had all seen it coming for a while now; how could they not when Nedzu had stopped flashing those creepy little grins of his with the glint all but extinguished from his beady little eyes. Apparently, the rat could not survive on tea, chess and manic cackling alone and as such, at least once every year, he would begin seeking…alternate sources of entertainment. This, without fail, meant that soon everyone in UA would have pain and suffering thrust upon them for at least a month until the tiny bastard was satiated once again. Hence, the event became known as the month of “Nedzu’s Seriously Sadistic Shenanigans” or less formally, NSSS Month; four hellish weeks for all involved with an additional guarantee of nothing but needless excruciation for any poor soul that found themselves in Nedzu’s bad books at the time.

And that little fact is why Shouta was freaking out so badly right now.

Just last week, Aizawa had accidentally broken one of an increasingly apathetic Nedzu’s teacups which had tea spilling and steeping through seemingly every porous material on the unnecessarily vast table. Admittedly, Shouta had seriously contemplated handing in a letter of resignation right then and there to avoid whatever karmic destiny was going to strike him down but ultimately, he thought better of it. Divine retribution was always worse when you tried to save yourself. So instead, he immediately cleaned the entire table with a speed that astonished even himself and swiftly disposed of the broken china, hoping desperately to subdue the coming storm. In the end, this only solidified his fate as Nedzu – in perhaps the most terrifying part of the entire ordeal – didn’t even react to the ruckus until one, single drop of tea landed on his shoe. Then, he just looked up, perfectly calm and fixed Shouta with an unblinking look that guaranteed a slow and painful death when NSSS Month rolled around. This death sentence quite possibly spread to all of 1-A too. He’d really have to make it up to them later.

If they all survive NSSS that is.

So, right now, walking to the staff meeting that marks the beginning of NSSS Month like a man on death row, Shouta is really freaking out. The patronising pats on the back and teary goodbyes from the other teachers were doing absolutely nothing to help with his growing pit of concerns. And finally, walking through the doors to the meeting room and seeing Nedzu grinning for the first time in weeks, Shouta was now certain of one thing:

They are not surviving NSSS.

When Aizawa next walked into the staffroom, there was no panic. Or more accurately, there was panic before, but it immediately ceased upon his entry. He knew why too; NSSS Month started today and he had to break the news to 1-A in a measly 8 minutes. With that absolute tragedy looming on the horizon, he really didn’t appreciate the other staff suddenly throwing flowers at him or in Inui’s case, a ritualistic sprinkle of dirt. He really didn’t appreciate Hizashi squeezing his shoulder with a weepy “I’ll see you up there soon buddy” before the day had even officially begun.

He did appreciate the minute of silence though.

After spending the last 8 minutes of peace in his sleeping bag, Shouta now found himself standing in front of 1-A’s oversized door, wishing for a stray bolt of lightning to enter the building and strike him dead on the spot. Well, he supposed with an unholy amount of existential anguish, the least I can do is make sure the kids survive this, but considering what Nedzu’s doing…all bets are off. Running a tired hand through his shaggy black bangs he decided to just rip off the proverbial band-aid and get explanations over with.

The second the door opened, Aizawa was assaulted by Iida’s boisterous yelling and distinctive arm chops, “Aizawa sensei! It is 27 seconds past the beginning of homeroom! Such tardiness is not tolerated amongst the student body and as our teacher, you should be providing an example for all of us to follow!”

In lieu of a verbal response, Aizawa continued stalking into the room and promptly buried his face into his hands upon reaching the podium. The unusual behaviour from their sensei seemed to portray the gravity of the situation if the way they all straightened in their seats was any indication.

“Aizawa sensei, are you all right kero?”

“To be perfectly honest Asui,” Shouta began, removing his hands from his face, “this morning has been a goddamn nightmare and the rest of this month promises to be much worse.”

He honestly couldn’t bring himself to care that he just cursed in front of his students and thus ignored the startled gasps that surround him. He made a special effort to tune out Iida’s indignant spluttering.

“If I may ask sir,” Yaoyorozu inquired with a raised hand, “why will this month be so bad?”

Aizawa let the air freely flow out of his lungs with a deep sigh, “Because this marks the start of Nedzu’s Seriously Sadistic Shenanigans month or NSSS Month as we teachers of UA call it.” He raised a hand in a halting motion to silence the sudden influx of questions, “this happens every year, sadly, and every year Nedzu manages to come up with something even worse than the previous year. This year, 1-B and Vlad are switching places with heroics class 1-B of Kotogotoshii High and their homeroom teacher for the rest of the month. During this month, class 1-A will be hosting them as guests on top of our schedules.”

There were quite a few outraged cries at this until Midoriya raised his hand. “Sensei. Why is 1-A specifically hosting them? Wouldn’t a 3^rd year class usually do this?”

Ah, so they’re already going there? Goddamn, attentive problem child. Rather than admit the truth to this room of innocent faces, Shouta did something rather unheroic and answered that he didn’t know. You know, like a liar. Everyone seemed to buy it though,  their immediate belief in his words sending a sharp stab of guilt through his heart.

“Anyway,” Shouta continued after a moment of pregnant silence, “instead of homeroom today, we will be meeting our new guests and giving them tours in small groups. So, everyone leave your bags and let’s head out.”

And let the cursed NSSS Month begin.

Chapter Text

--- day 1 ---

When Izuku Midoriya woke up this morning, he had absolutely no idea what to expect. This morning he just had this feeling that things would go wrong as soon as his eyes snapped open. He never really knew why he had this…sixth sense or why it had such startling accuracy but being a hero-in-training and the resident villain magnet of class A, he also knew not to ignore it. This sense had alerted him to a large quantity of villain attacks in the past year after all.

Ever the analyser, Midoriya had spent a lot of time pondering the origin of his sixth sense. Perhaps it was just another facet of One For All; it never ceased to provide surprises, villains out for his blood or even additional quirks. Or maybe, it was the so-called “hero sense” that so many pros developed due to continuous exposure to danger. If it was the latter, well, that only provided further evidence that he shouldn’t disregard his unease. That option would also attest to the many scars littering Midoriya’s damaged arms so he supposes that is the most logical explanation.

However, he still couldn’t help the hopeful little child that still existed in his mind that said that this was “his quirk all along”. If that was truly the case, he couldn’t find it in himself to be disappointed, even if it went unnoticed for his entire life. It had helped him save many lives and will probably continue to do so. And, as much as that child still craved the acceptance and kindness that having a quirk would have brought, Midoriya cared far more about saving others than living a comfortable life. That’s just who Midoriya was. Besides, it was partly due to his actions while being quirkless that rewarded him with the mentorship and quirk of his long-adored idol, All Might, and he wouldn’t change that for the world. So, out of all the voices rattling around in his head, Izuku decided he could completely mute that of his four-year-old self, lest he get distracted by the never-ending stream of what ifs.

Just like he was doing right now.

…

Right.

Where was he again?   

Currently walking to the front entrance of UA with the rest of class 1-A to meet their guests whom Aizawa described – by extension of NSSS Month – as a “goddamn nightmare that promises to get worse” and Midoriya’s unease from this morning still hasn’t receded. Okay, yeah, that definitely requires more attention than his internal monologing.

I wonder if I should tell Aizawa sensei about this bad feeling I have…

Risking a glance to his teacher, Midoriya observed the shaggy-haired man scowling deeply at a small stain – likely coffee – adorning his sleeping bag and instantly thought better of it. The man looked as if he may actually have a breakdown if someone so much as mentioned anything about NSSS or the people they were going to meet. Honestly, Midoriya suspected that his sensei was omitting quite a few things about what was happening right now, particularly about the fact that 1-A was directly involved in this. In any other situation, he would be awaiting some kind of logical ruse but something about Aizawa’s behaviour suggested that something else was at work here.

Regardless of that, a villain attack would be really bad, particularly when there were guests coming, even if they were other heroes. Very few hero students had as much experience as the cursed class A and if some from another school got hurt while they were here…well, it wouldn’t look very good for UA if that happened. Alright, if he couldn’t talk to Aizawa sensei, – God knows, the man deserves a break – Midoriya himself would just have to keep his eyes peeled for any danger and act accordingly. Be attentive, focussed, he could do that.

But, wait. What if the visitors themselves were dangerous? What if this was just some sort of ploy to get UA to let their guard down and let villains inside the barrier? Oh no, that would be terrible. What should he do? Well, at least the rest of the class is here and everyone has at least one special move so if there were villains, they should be able to handle it. Although, having to fight would seriously suck especially considering therehadbeensofewvillainattacksrecentlyandclassAwasreallybeginningtoenjoythepeaceandquiet-

“Well, let’s hope Nedzu has some mercy then,” Aizawa drawled.

“Huh? What?”

Uraraka laughed, “you were rambling the whole way here Deku.”

“Ack! Sorry Sensei! Sorry Uraraka!”

“Haha you’re all good Deku! I just thought you’d like to know we’re at the entrance now.”

“O-oh.”

Damn. So much for being attentive.

Although, coming face to face with Kotogotoshii’s class 1-B, or more specifically their homeroom teacher, Midoriya knew exactly why his hero sense was going off. There was something really, for a lack of a better term, wrong with that woman. He didn’t even know what it was at the moment which only made it more disturbing.

“Oh! You all must be class 1-A! I’ve heard so much about you~” A few members in class A stiffened at the words; it seemed Izuku was not alone in finding her creepy. “My name is Otoko Tarashi and I’m the homeroom teacher of Kotogotoshii’s heroics class 1-B. Let’s all get along~”

Following the introduction, Midoriya examined the teacher with a critical gaze. The top three buttons of her collared shirt were left provocatively unbuttoned, revealing the edge of a lace bra that held a rather over inflated chest. Her rounded face was framed by straight, dark purple hair that fell directly onto equally rounded shoulders and the dark pencil that lined her sharp eyes. The effect was only softened by the baby pink lipstick coating her unnaturally perfect lips. His eyes then moved down to her nails, uniformly shaped into rectangles with rounded edges, layered and polished with a rich violet. A frilled petticoat peeked out from beneath her skirt which sat at a ridiculously high position on her slender legs, showing a pair of delicate thigh-high stockings underneath. Her entire appearance was frightening symmetrical and the definition of the word gaudy. Although Midoriya could not decide if the word desperate might better describe it.

It was almost as if someone had taken every attractive aspect of Midnight’s appearance, put them in a blender and spat them back out, resulting in a woman who fell just shy of every one of the R-rated hero’s traits. Now that he thought about it, even Tarashi’s manner of speaking fell short of the charming and seductive teasing that was so characteristic of Midnight’s hero persona. This just left the woman in front of him as a cheap and very wrong cardboard cut-out of one of UA’s teachers. Thank goodness Mineta was replaced by Shinsou; the pervert would have very likely made a move on this woman and disgustingly, Midoriya wouldn’t have put it past her to make a move at him either. Yep, that was definitely the reason for his hero sense going off.

“Before our classes get to know each other, I’d like to get a tour guide from class A to lead me around,” Tarashi’s blue eyes land on Midoriya who subsequently shivered, “and I think I’ve just found the perfect one.”

All gazes turned to Midoriya at this declaration and his anxiety skyrockets. So, like any hero-in-training who has taken down hordes of villains, he immediately leapt behind Iida’s much taller figure and hid, shooting a pleading look to Kacchan with a pathetic “eep”. He hoped the message in his eyes is clear:

Please, you’ve got to get me out of this.

Kacchan simply smirked back; Nah, this will be much more fun.

Well. That worked spectacularly.

Looking to the rest of the class for help, they all immediately turned away – although Shinsou offered a consoling shrug for whatever that was worth – and Midoriya’s danger sense came back ten-fold. That is, until he feels a soft hand land on his shoulder with the fifth finger raised and he meets Uraraka’s determined smile.

“Excuse me, Tarashi sensei?” she said with a raised hand, “I feel like your tour would be more beneficial if two students came with you. I would be more than happy to offer myself if you’d like.”

Midoriya just stared at his best friend in awe for a moment before whispering a very heartfelt thanks. God, he loves his best friend. Uraraka winked in return just as Tarashi began to speak.

“Oh, yes! I’d love to have a tour lead by two cuties! We’re going to have so much fun this month~”

Midoriya and Uraraka simultaneously blanch.

What the hell did they just walk into?

Chapter Text

--- day 1 ---

As soon as Uraraka laid eyes on Tarashi sensei, she felt her skin crawl and had the sudden urge to throw up. Call it a woman’s intuition but Ochaco just knew that this supposed teacher was a threat. All the other girls clearly felt it, seeming to recoil a little at the woman’s appearance while some like Jirou and herself, openly scowled in her direction with hackles raised. Then, when she called Deku out with that sickeningly sweet tone, Uraraka felt it in her very bones that she couldn’t leave Deku alone. So, she interjected.

She may or may not be regretting that right now.

Not saving Deku that is – she would never, ever regret that – but rather, she’s regretting becoming this woman’s tour guide. For the entire month. Seriously, Ochaco gets that UA is big and confusing but really? An entire month? Where on Earth is this woman planning to go?!

“I’m sure that won’t be necessary,” Aizawa deadpanned, “While UA is large, I’m sure one day will be enough.”

Oh, thank God for Aizawa sensei.

Next to her, Midoriya let out a breath of relief at their teacher’s words and she slid her hand comfortingly into his with her pinkie raised. The gentle squeeze of her hand and tender smile he gave her in return is enough to let some of her fears melt away. They’ll be OK. As long as they have each other, they’ll be-

“Awwww~ But I have so much I want to do with them and I can’t do that if you have them~”

Alright, maybe not.

“B-but the whole month?” Deku protested.

Tarashi didn’t even to respond to that; just coolly looked in their direction and licked her lips in some sick mockery of Kayama sensei as her class started to snicker. It’s only thanks to months of UA’s intense quirk training that allows Ochaco to keep her breakfast down in that moment. Others aren’t so lucky however as Ashido, Jirou and Kaminari immediately started gagging. By this point, poor Deku looked physically ill, his freckles only serving to emphasise the deathly pallor of his skin. The only reason he didn’t throw up was probably because he skipped breakfast this morning. Normally, Uraraka would scold him for this, but today she’s actually glad he did.

Seeking absolutely any distraction from whatever the hell this not-at-all seductive sow has planned, Uraraka redirected her attention to the row of audacious bastards that had actually laughed at the blatant sexual harassment. There are fourteen of them in total. Or perhaps it might be more accurate to say that there are ten of them, seeing as the remaining four are identical siblings of the tenth guy. Said quintuplets – at least, she’s 99% certain they’re quintuplets – looked dead on their feet. No, literally. Ochaco really wouldn’t be surprised if she went over there to check their pulses and found nothing. Actually, now that she thought about it…have they even blinked since they arrived? Likely feeling her lingering gaze, all five swivelled their heads in her direction in one disturbingly slow and synchronised motion and cocked their heads to the side with a sudden ‘crack’ that left Uraraka reeling. With an involuntary shudder and a shy wave, she immediately turned away.

Right. Moving on.

Student number five was a bored looking girl with long black hair falling lazily over her face in a way that reminded her of Aizawa sensei a little. Unlike the charcoal eyes of her sensei however, this girl had foggy, purple eyes that were vaguely dizzying to look at. Must be her quirk. Next to her was a blonde guy who was angrily scuffing the dirt with strangely not-dirty shoes and spitting on absolutely everything in sight. Following him, a girl with fluorescent pink hair was talking non-stop and an arrogant looking guy was quite literally steaming. Next came a cat-eared girl who promptly fell asleep on the shoulder of a girl who subsequently stuck gum in cat girl’s hair. A girl with wavy golden hair glared at gum girl for a second before turning to Ochaco with a kind smile and a wave and finally, a normal one. Uraraka waved back before moving on to an obese, pasty looking guy who was openly leering at Yaoyorozu and Oh my God did a cockroach just crawl out of his hair?! At long last, student number fourteen who had several pairs of balls on his head in a way that was reminiscent of Mineta was currently several yards away…and still running away.

And wow, what an absolutely charming bunch.

Uraraka thinks that perhaps the only good thing about her situation right now is that she wouldn’t have to deal with the absolute circus in front of her.

Although…

Looking at Tarashi sensei who is somehow still staring at her and Deku, she honestly had no idea which option would be worse.

“So, what do you think of our class?” steaming guy said with his chin held high, “as class president of our fine collection of students, I find myself absolutely privileged.” Ochaco thinks she might have heard Bakugou mutter “fucking kettle” somewhere to her left which she would have laughed at if she wasn’t in such a sour mood.

“Well, there’s certainly a lot to be proud of.”

It took a moment for her to realise that it was her who just spoke and now, it’s her class’s turn to snicker. It looks like Iida wants to scold her but the look in his eyes says he actually feels the same. The newly Bakudubbed™ Kettle looked her up and down with contempt clear in his eyes and sneered, “a lot more than you rats have to be proud of.”

Everyone went silent at that and Uraraka thinks fuck it; I am gonna be that guy. Shockingly though, Deku beats her to the punch; his fury at the comment easily overpowering his nerves.

“Well, excuse our unruly appearances Your Highness, but villain attacks tend to have an effect. Though I’m sure we shouldn’t have to explain that to such an esteemed hero such as yourself.”

For a few tense minutes, both classes just glare daggers at each other without another word until Tarashi sensei – because of course – breaks the silence with a clap that makes everyone jump, “Okay that’s enough kittens~” all of 1-A gagged this time, “why don’t we get these tours started and get all acquainted~” Ochaco really doesn’t like how she said that. Begrudgingly, everyone started to split off in small groups and just when Uraraka goes to join them, two hands roughly come down on her and Deku’s shoulders. “Oh no, not you two! I have something special for you~” Uraraka feels like all of the heat is sucked from her body.

Really, Ochaco should have known already but touring seems to be the last thing on Tarashi’s mind considering that she’s just casually painting her nails right now. In fact, the woman had stated, with that sickening warble, that she “already remembered the entire floor plan so a tour is completely unnecessary~” That of course begged the current question plaquing Uraraka’s mind while standing here in Tarashi’s temporary office at UA; what on Earth did she want? A small part of Ochaco’s mind wanted the answer while the other, much larger, part wanted anything but. So, here she is, shifting her feet awkwardly in the office of someone who may or may not be some kind of predator, trying desperately not to think about why she is currently standing here.

“So, uh…” Deku broke the silence, “Tarashi sensei? What-“

“Call me Tara-chan~”

Once again, Ochaco finds herself immensely grateful for UA’s quirk training as Midoriya speaks again, “w-what’s your quirk if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” she sings back.

Deku just tilted his head with a raised brow, the perfect imitation of a confused kitten, “um…yes..?” Uraraka really has to fight the urge to coo and pinch the cheeks of her best friend.

“My quirk allows me to steal the body of heat of living things if I touch them with all five fingers! Isn’t that wonderful~”

They both shivered at her words; no, that is not wonderful. And hang on… stealing body heat?

“Wait,” Uraraka started, “when you grabbed us before out the front…”

“I used my quirk!” Tarashi finished, “it’s quite…useful for what I do.”

She shares a look of horror with Deku and dares to ask the question on both of their minds, “useful for what exactly?”

Tarashi smiled sweetly at them, “wouldn’t you like to know?”

Chapter Text

--- day 2 ---

Interacting with hero hopefuls is a fucking nightmare.

That was take home message that Shinsou managed to get out of yesterday’s now aptly named “tours of hell”. He’ll admit, he may be a little predisposed to feel this way; growing up with something that was perceived as a “villainous quirk” left him with a pretty healthy dose of skepticism and distrust when it came to other people, especially those with “heroic quirks”. That said, after months of training with his role model, Eraserhead, and actually becoming accepted into the hero course like he’s always dreamed of, his skepticism has been filed back significantly. Especially after meeting Midoriya – someone who actually thinks his quirk is perfect for heroics and respects him for it. And isn’t that a fucking trip; he has the respect of the golden boy of 1-A who has a perfect heroic quirk – the very kind of person that Shinsou swore he wouldn’t associate with. 

There is one key difference between people like Midoriya and class 1-B of Kotogotoshii High though.

People like Midoriya – like all of class A – don’t take their quirks or status for granted. They put in the effort and training to be the absolute best they can be. They have experience with how cruel the world can be and yet, they still don’t give up. They’ve seen the ugliness of hero society and they’re trying to change it. That, right there, is the difference and the reason Shinsou respects them and doesn’t respect the people from Kotogotoshii High.

It’s evident in the way these people move, speak and even look at class A that they have only ever seen the bright side of hero society. Their hands are soft and unblemished, every absent callous or scar speaking of an easy life filled with excessive praise and joy. There are no bags under their eyes or permanent creases in their brows which alludes to nothing but restful nights and pleasant dreams. Every missing wrinkle and stain in the fabric of their pristine blazers attest to the lack of the stress and determination to be better. To put it simply, they lack ambition and for someone like Hitoshi who’s had to kick, scratch and fight his way up from the bottom rung of society’s ladder, nothing is more offensive than that.

Just to put the cherry on top, during the tours yesterday he had to watch as two of his best friends were dragged away by a creepy heroics teacher – who isn’t even a hero – and was saddled with some bubbly girl who wouldn’t shut up about how much she loved the fame of being a hero. How amazing she thought it was. She didn’t even ask about his life or experiences, as if someone who didn’t start out where she did was beneath her concern. As if hero society couldn’t be anything other than sunshine and roses. Shinsou supposes he shouldn’t be surprised by that seeing as his entire class were deemed as rats by their class president and man, did that speak volumes for how these people operated. It’s been just over 24 hours and Hitoshi Shinsou has already plotted each and every one of their murders. He hasn’t figured out how to dispose of their bodies yet but, hey, thoughts for another time.

So yeah, interacting with hero hopefuls is a fucking nightmare.

And now, dressed in his heroics uniform with all of its embossed creases and stains, he’s about to spend the rest of the day – and month – doing that very thing with the very people he can’t stand. Regardless, he keeps walking towards the doors of Heights Alliance, albeit a little early, to open them up to a new day with Kotogotoshii High. At least Midoriya and Uraraka are here this morning; he didn’t even see them after yesterday’s tours. He’ll have to ask them about it later though because quite honestly, they look worse than he does on a bad day.

As soon as they opened the door, Shinsou just knew this was going to be worse than yesterday.

“Good morning darlings~ You didn’t think you could get away from me, did you?” His two fellow Dekusquad members shared resigned looks before wordlessly following the woman out the door, shooting him a sad smile as they go.

Clearly they did, then.

Hitoshi just stared at their retreating figures for a moment stewing in irritation. Of course, his day starts with his best friends being taken away by some perverted Barbie doll, of course. Just another day in the hero course. He shook his head with a sigh, trying to physically dislodge the bitterness floating around in his head and stalked towards class.

How much worse can this day possibly get?

As a hero, Hitoshi really should’ve known better than to ask that question. There’s usually only one answer to it and that could definitely be applied to the situation right now – when the first class you have is in a shared classroom with fourteen additional assholes, your day is guaranteed to get exponentially worse.

And get worse it did.

Exponentially so.

When class A approached the conjoined room, they were met with a combination of spitting sounds and high-pitched whining. Now, this wouldn’t have been a good sound for anyone to hear first thing in the morning but knowing who was on the other side made it that much more horrible. Up until this point, Shinsou thinks most of the class was in denial about the heathens that had invaded their school yesterday. Now though, listening to the bitchy clamour, the proverbial bubble had well and truly burst. It was eventually Aizawa sensei who snapped out of the despondent miasma that had come down on the class but as soon as the door opened, everyone instantly regretted it.

The first thing Shinsou’s tired eyes landed on was the, as named by Bakugou, “quintuplets of death” performing some sort of…ritual in the back corner of the room. Each moan or movement of their creaking and cracking limbs was reminiscent of the intro to a shitty zombie movie. A girl with bright green hair who was wiping gum on every available surface immediately started shaming the girls, particularly Asui, and tried to put gum in their hair. Someone had actually spat at Shinsou and he felt his heart stop when the spit burnt a hole in the floor. Aizawa immediately tried to stop everyone with a quirk-assisted glare but their schmuck of a president actually raised a hand to silence him. It worked too; Aizawa was so shocked he was choked into silence.

 “I believe we got off to the wrong start yesterday,” the glorified kettle said with an extended hand, ignoring the choice words from Bakugou, “my name is Kouman Shikke, class president of 1-B. It’s a…pleasure.” Shinsou seriously hated the way he said that.

 Ever the upstanding one, Iida simply ignored the elitist aura and spoke with his classic hand chops, “A pleasure to meet you as well! I am Tenya Iida, class president of 1-A! I hope we can get along from this point forward!” Shikke took Iida’s proffered hand and unabashedly sanitised his hands after the handshake was complete. Shinsou thought he could actually see the sparks flying. This was quickly interrupted by the bubble-gum pink chatterbox he was stuck with yesterday.

“Oh my GOD, it’s so good to meet you! I’m Bikou Oshaberi and I’m the VICE! ISN’T THAT COOL?! Like, do youknowhowmuchILOVEheroes?HaveItoldyouaboutthatyet?Idon’tthinkIhavesoletmejuststartoutbysayingthatILOVEheroes!!OhwaitIsaidthatalreadydidn’tI?OhmyGODIjustlikeLOVEthemyouknow?-“

Holy shit, Midoriya had nothing on this girl. Actually, speaking of…shouldn't he be here?

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, SHUT UP!! You’re worse than fucking Deku!!”

Turning to the familiar yell, Hitoshi watched as Kirishima restrained the rabid blonde with his hardening activated while Kaminari and Ashido repeatedly shouted – rather unhelpfully Shinsou might add – “Down Pomeranian, down!” Shinsou sighed deeply; he was already done with this. So of course, because Hitoshi’s life has the plot of a family drama, this was the point that Tarashi made an appearance with a…suggestive grip on Midoriya’s and Uraraka’s shoulders.

This was also the point when everything truly, for lack of a better term, started turning to shit.

First came what would later be immortalised as the “climate wars” in which Todoroki, upon seeing his best friends at the mercy of Tarashi, had instantly started icing over and the room subsequently dropped a few degrees. In a poorly concealed display of one-upmanship, the ever-pretentious Shikke then decided to increase the humidity of the room and true to his nickname, whistled like a kettle about to boil over. The sound provided a perfect parallel for class A’s collective mood. Todoroki, bless him, tried to equalise the temperature back out again using his own quirk, ultimately resulting in a strange climate that left everyone shivering, sweating and loosening their ties. Eventually, Aizawa got fed up with it and used his quirk to end the debacle altogether, his glare promising to scarf strangle anyone who dared to mess with the climate again.

That said, it wasn’t long until Aizawa had to blink thanks to the damage his eyes took at the USJ. In doing so, he inadvertently returned the quirk of the fat kid – Kanri Gokiburi, according to his name tag – who was also in his line of sight and a veritable sea of cockroaches just emerged from the walls. Asui lit up like a kid in a candy store – which in a way, that’s exactly what it was – while Kouda, in one of his rare speaking moments, sprinted from the room shrieking like a banshee. It took only seconds for the rest of the room to follow suit and soon enough, in one dreadful chorus, everyone was screaming:

“DIE YOU COCKROACH FUCKERS!” “-hell did they come from?!” “Bad Pomeranian, bad!!” “Don’t eat them!” “Everyone! Remain calm! As heroes in traini-“ “Nekoko, get OFF me!” “Deku look out!“ “Get these filthy creatures away from me!” “Gokiburi, do something!” “Why is there gum on the roof?!” “STOP SCREAMING!” “AAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Perhaps the loudest scream though was that of “YOWAMUSHI DON’T!!”

Shinsou had no idea which one Yowamushi was – he honestly couldn’t care less – but when he saw that jumpy Mineta-esque kid pull a ball from his head, he just knew that the plot of today’s stupid life drama was about to come to a dramatic ending.

And end it did.

Dramatically so.

The morning had quite literally ended with a ‘bang’ when the ball exploded – because the balls on his head were made of fucking C4 – leaving class A incapacitated with the resulting tinnitus. Lying on the floor, currently deaf and breathing in a concoction of charred cockroaches, bubble gum and desks, Hitoshi could feel his rage very quickly rising from I’ll-kill-you to I’m-gonna-hunt-down-your-entire-extended-family-and-slaughter-you-all. Actually, mounting a full-scale massacre was sounding like a really good idea. Honestly, Shinsou had no idea what his mental state was doing right now. It was on the tip of his tongue-

“Truly a mad banquet of darkness,” mutters Tokoyami.

Ah. That’s it.

Chapter Text

--- day 3 ---

Life, if you’re Katsuki Bakugou, can be defined by three things: screaming, explosions and chilli peppers. Usually in that order. This was how he was raised after all; with screaming hags, blowing people up and eating very spicy things being the norm and a well-matched compliment to his angry temperament. People would often suggest that this is where the rage originated from. They wouldn’t necessarily wrong in that regard either.

The point is, Bakugou knows rage like an old friend.

That’s also why he has a fundamental understanding of the varying levels of anger that one can experience within any given day. Like life, this too can be summarised in three distinct categories. The first is “minor irritation” in which you don’t yet have the urge to cause major bodily harm to those around you and you’re willing to settle for snide remarks interspersed with harsh cussing. This is the least harmful level of anger in the sense that while others may be assaulted by very horrible threats and curses they’ve never even heard of before, they’ll at least walk away from the encounter in one piece with their belongings intact. The second level, unbridled wrath, occurs when everything starts pissing you off and constant swearing is no longer enough to satisfy your desire to destroy. This level of anger is understandably deadly and if you happen to walk into a room with someone at this level, it is a fact that you will not leave. Bakugou generally ranges between these two levels, inching closer to the second when Deku is involved. The third and final stage on the other hand, Katsuki has only experienced once before;

Inner peace.

Most would think that this level is harmless but this is in fact the level at which you should run far, far away. Bakugou’s dad would definitely tell you this; the most dangerous days were always the ones when Mitsuki and Katsuki weren’t at screaming at each other. See, this is the level when that little voice of reason in your head that says “don’t kill, that’s bad” gives you a hearty pat on the back and says “you know what? Go for it.”

Bakugou will admit that he actually makes a special effort to avoid reaching this tier of fury. Upon starting counselling for his anger issues – and Katsuki never thought he’d say that – he was told to focus on the “positive things” during a given day to keep calm. What the counsellor never explained however, is what you do when there aren’t any nice things. Like when a circus troupe of bastards decided to invade Bakugou’s life for an entire fucking month that he will never get back again. Not doing anything by halves, Bakugou really has tried to focus on nice things for the past two days but without fail, he ends up looping back to those Kotogotoshii’s High assholes. He thinks of the absence of Deku’s rambling which of course makes him think of why the rambling is absent. He thinks of the Bakusquad and his mind immediately homes in on the piece of gum that is still stuck in Ashido’s hair 24 hours later and the bitch that put it there. Whenever he thinks of his quirk, one of the few constants in his life, all he can think of is that explosive ball fucker and the absolute shitshow that ended all of yesterday’s classes before they even began.

Okay, well at least that was a good thing.

Still, one pleasant moment was not enough to overpower the mounting pile of shit that class B has pulled. Yesterday, he could feel the fury rising and boiling into the third stage but right now, staring at the birds singing, the sun shining and the green, green grass, Bakugou can safely say he has reached fucking Zen. If he so happens to be internally deliberating the most effective ways of killing all of 1-B, nobody has to know. If he also happens to be enjoying the way everyone in his path is recoiling in terror, well, nobody has to know that either.

Apparently, class B decided to hold a meeting with Stalker sensei – Tarashi, that is – and so, in a rare moment of reprieve, class A is able to have a normal class with no intruders. Well, as normal as it can be while Bakugou is grinning like someone hopped up on pain meds and there are birds singing at him. Katsuki really doesn’t give a single fuck what class B could possibly have to talk about but if their next stunt actually requires planning, he may just have to nip that in the bud. By killing them first of course. Although, he may have to act quickly seeing as Eyebags has recently started “revelling in the dark” with Birdbrain and may actually beat him to the punch. Right, so the cause of death has to be painful, effective and fast… a carefully aimed Howitzer might do the trick…

“Good morning Kacchan.”

A Howitzer may also take out all of class B at the same time which would remove them completely from UA in a matter of seconds…

“Kacchan..?”

This also has the added benefit of permanent scarring and disfigurement if the killing attempt happens to fail… yeah this could work…

“Oh no…he’s in Zen mode, isn’t he?”

With a quick upward snap of his head, Bakugou stared into Deku’s and Pink Cheeks’ wide eyes and decided to screw with their heads just for the hell of it. Tormenting people has always been a good outlet for rage. His counsellor said he needed more outlets.

“Good morning Izuku! Uraraka!” he chirped in a tone very similar to Stalker sensei, “it’s so good to see you~” He internally cackled as the two went catatonic and waddled over towards their seats. When he saw Aizawa enter the room, he just couldn't help but screw with him too. Flashing his prettiest Disney princess smile, he sangs, “good morning sensei!” and relished in the way the man’s eyes widened and not so subtly shifted to the door.

Is he being unnecessarily cruel? Definitely.

Did he enjoy it? Every fucking minute.

“Hold up,” Tape Arms suddenly said, “Midoriya, Uraraka, how’d you lose Tarashi sensei?”

“Oh! Deku and I jumped out the window as soon as she turned her back!”

“Dude, that’s so manly!”

“Revelry in the dark.”

“Guys, are we just gonna leave the whole Zen mode thing?”

“Don’t worry about it Kaminari.”

“…right.”

“Uh… excuse the interruption…”

All eyes turned to the new voice as a girl from 1-B stepped into the room. The class fell deathly silent as Katsuki regarded her for a moment. She was small and thin; about the same size as Asui but she stood tall and proud like the other members of her class. Her complexion was pale against her glowing yellow eyes and her golden hair rolled in waves towards her mid back, fringe smoothed back with a red headband. Just where her hair met her pristine white blazer, it was tied back with a cherry red ribbon. She could have easily been likened to a porcelain doll; the combination of her hair and exaggerated accessories being more akin to decorations on a plush toy rather than the traits of an actual human. Bakugou could just picture this girl in a fairy tale book with bears and bowls of porridge. That said, he thought everyone from Kotogotoshii had that vaguely unreal quality as if they had all been manufactured and mass-produced to be heroes. Their appearances were too perfect; robbed of all the flaws that may have classified them as human. It was disgusting.

Oblivious to his inner thoughts, the girl – Goldilocks he’ll call her – addressed the room, “I believe we got off to the wrong start yesterday-“

“I’m gonna stop you right there,” Jirou deadpanned with hostility lacing her tone, “you do realise that phrase spelt our collective doom yesterday, right? If you’re going to apologise, it’s not going to mean much.”

Much to Bakugou’s surprise, the newly christened Goldilocks didn’t break under the collection of death stares being sent her way, “I know it won’t mean much but it’s still the right thing to do. So, on behalf of my school and class in particular,” she took a deep bow, “I, Akari Kogane, apologise to all of you.” Now that Katsuki thought about it, this is the same voice that tried to stop the ball fucker from exploding yesterday.

“By way of further apology,” she continued, finally rising from her prostration, “I have something to give to you two.” She turned to look at Midoriya and Uraraka, pressing a faintly glowing gold coin into Uraraka’s hands with a smile. “For when you need to get away from Tarashi sensei.”

“It's glowing...some kind of flash bang?” Deku asked with a tilted head.

Goldilocks gave a firm nod, “My quirk allows me to store light inside coins and the harder you throw it, the stronger the effect will be. It can be quite powerful though so only use it when there’s no other option.”

The class watched their visitor with suspicion for a moment. Bakugou will admit that, even in his Disney princess state, he’s suspicious too. How this girl’s acting…it’s so different from the rest of her class. Too different. It seems Aizawa shared the suspicion if his next words were anything to go by. “Correct me if I’m wrong Kogane,” she turned to look at him, “but seeing as you’re here apologising instead of with your class, it would seem that you’d rather not associate with them.” She gave an unreadable expression at his words.

“You’re right, I’d rather not. That said, I’m self-aware enough to admit that I’m just like they are. I don’t have any experience as a hero and I was raised to value my quirk more than the traits of what a hero should be. I was taught to think I’m better than everyone else; that’s what Kotogotoshii High values in a hero. I know better though. Thinking like that will only get me killed,” she smiled sadly, “you’re all proof of that. I’ve seen what class A has gone through and to tell the truth, I’ve always admired you for surviving like you did.”

Honestly? Katsuki seriously respects this girl. They’re similar, he thinks; starting out at the top of the pile and then suddenly finding themselves near the bottom. He makes a calm mental note to spare her while he massacres her class.

“Huh. You’re not so bad Goldilocks.”

She raised a brow at the name but didn’t comment on it, “You’re not such a bad guy yourself. To be honest, when I first saw you, I thought you might be a little dangerous. I apologise for my misconception.” He gave a wry laugh at her comment and smiled prettily.

Oh, if only she knew.

Chapter Text

--- day 3 ---

He’s surrounded by aliens.

That’s the only possible explanation. See, the world is quite simple if you’re Shoto Todoroki; the people you know in your daily life are either just that, themselves, or they are aliens who are disguised as the people you know. That’s it – there’s no spectrum with in-betweens, it’s just one or the other. Considering all of the strangeness that has befallen his class in the last two and a half days, Todoroki can safely say that he is surrounded by the latter. He could also be in an alternate reality, but the alien theory certainly makes a lot more sense.

For example, walking into the cafeteria and watching Shinsou feverishly scribble pentagrams on the floor with Tokoyami, he just knows he’s looking at an alien. Further proof of this is in the way that those quintuplets are observing the ritual with a warped sort of awe in their eyes. They’re aliens too of course, everyone on 1-B is. Actually, now that they’re illuminated in the afternoon light of the lunch room, Shoto was able to get a better look at them. Their skin, he noted, isn’t really skin at all. Now that he can see the multitudes of perforations that ripple up their exposed necks and faces, he’s realised that their skin is actually made out of some sort of tree bark – that would certainly explain the fact their joints snap when they move. Their eyes seemed to be made of amber tree sap which left them strangely incapable of displaying emotion and took the term “glassy-eyed” to a whole new level. They appear to be trying to say something to him right now, likely after feeling his heterochromatic gaze but “trying” is the key word here – unfortunately, alien communication is quite difficult. So, Todoroki just gave them a nod of his head and kept looking around.

The next alien is that of Kanri Gokiburi. Said pasty teen was currently noisily stuffing his face with an extra-large bowl of…who knows what with all the enthusiasm of an eager two-year-old. More disturbing than that however, is what’s next to the obese boy’s bowl. Namely, several smaller bowls containing the same food as the largest, each one being attended to by a group of excited cockroaches – at least that’s what they would be if they could display emotion – who are chowing down with vigour equal to that of Gokiburi himself. Even standing several metres away, Todoroki could hear the collective chewing sounds from the exoskeleton clad insects. Shoto, stoic type that he is, wouldn’t usually to react to something like this but not even he could stop the cringe overtaking his body. Well, regardless of how gross the sight is, this just provides further evidence to the theory that Kanri is in fact a giant cockroach disguised as a human. Don’t say it won’t happen – Todoroki has seen this happen in a movie with secret agents so the theory must hold some credibility. Edgar The Bug is all too real. Sitting down in his own seat next to the rest of class A, the half cold, half hot teen set his heterochromatic gaze on perhaps the strangest alien so far;

The one that has been disguised as Bakugou since yesterday.

Of all the extra-terrestrials here, this one is a pretty bad actor. Right now, it is actually happy and singing to a small flock birds that are sitting on its shoulders. Katsuki Bakugou doesn’t do happy – he just does marginally less mad. Bakugou definitely doesn’t sing either; if he did, Shoto would have almost certainly heard it during their many long bus trips towards the provisional license training. He’ll have to keep a close eye on this one; if it’s confident enough to act out of character, it must be dangerous. Nodding to himself, Todoroki decked himself out in tinted sunglasses and pulled out his conspiracy journal, thumbing over the leather-bound cover with pleasure at the thought of writing out all of his new theories. He adeptly ignored the way the entire table shivered at the sight of it. The entire cafeteria soon fell into a heavy silence, sans the munching cockroaches and scribbling of a pencil in a notebook; the awkwardness and silence reminiscent of dinners with his father. It took only a few minutes for the silence to be broken by Mineta’s secret brother running from the room screaming at the sight of the other 33 occupants in the room. Wait…

“Hey uh…” Satou started, “is it just me, or is the cafeteria really empty?”

“Now that you mention it…” Hagakure trailed off.

Looking up gingerly from his notebook and tilting his glasses down like the cops in action movies, Todoroki took a moment to examine the room with everyone else. True to Satou’s and Hagakures’s words, the room was in fact completely empty except for class A and class B occupying one large table each. The other tables held nothing but the reflection of the afternoon sun, a light which was actually quite blinding seeing as it wasn’t being blocked by the bodies of the other students.

“They were probably driven away by the overwhelming stench of sewer rats,” a black-haired girl – possibly Aizawa’s secret love child – said in answer to Satou’s question. A combination of groans and resigned sighs flittered across class A’s table while Todoroki kept writing with increased fervour.

A shrill laugh interrupted his note taking, “yeah, that and a disgusting frog.” The girl who said that pinched her nose in an exaggerated manner and flicked the piece of gum she was chewing in Asui’s direction. Risking a glance over to Tsuyu, Shoto was surprised to find that she hadn’t even reacted to the insult. In fact, she looked the calmest out of the entire class who was now turning red in anger. The Bakugou alien still looked relatively peaceful but even his smile had taken a…deranged edge to it, the birds on his shoulders fluttering away at the sight.

“Now, now ladies,” Shikke apparently took class A’s silence as permission to continue “you must use more simple language when addressing rats such as these,” the entire class bristled at his tone, “the rabble are likely too stupid to understand.”

*CRAAAAAACK*

Shooting up at the sound, the entire class was met with the sight of not-Bakugou crushing his chopsticks very slowly into his tensed, white-knuckled fist, those closest to him flinching violently at the dangerous shadows overtaking the blonde’s face.

Huh. What an interesting alien.

Sensing the brutality radiating off the explosion user in waves, Ashido tried to break the tension with a retort, “Well, you can’t spell stupid without ‘u’.”

There was a beat of silence.

…

…

“Wait, I don’t get it-“

Jirou promptly stomped on Kaminari’s foot and hissed, “shut up taser for brains!” causing to Kirishima and Sero to wheeze like smokers and verbally keyboard mash into the table. A spitting sound cut through their laughter;

“Ah yes, *spit* very funny,” a shaggy blonde-haired boy lifted himself from his seat and started stalking towards Bakugou, “I’m more interested *spit* what the feral puppy has to say *spit*.” Todoroki gave an incredulous stare to the boy as he came to a stop looming over not-Bakugou’s sitting figure, who, to his credit, hadn’t even reacted to the spitting guy’s presence. Shoto poised his pencil in anticipation as a manic grin overtook the boy’s acne-ridden face. For a few moments in tense silence, the boy just grinned until he very slowly and deliberately leaned over the other blonde’s curry and spat directly into it. There were quite a few gasps of shock as the spit ball began to sizzle and burn a hole through the food in the bowl. “Well *spit* how about it, puppy? What are you gonna do?”

The entire class stared at a completely blank not-Bakugou who just watched the trail of acidic smoke rise from the curry with an incessant hissing sound. With the amount of colour that had drained from the faces around him, Todoroki thought for sure that he had found himself in a black-and-white movie. No one even dared breath as they sat there frozen, observing the exchange with abject terror. When the Bakugou alien soundlessly and very gradually pushed his chair out with his head kept down, the room sucked in a sharp gasp and prepared to run. Even spitting boy let out an involuntary shiver and stumbled back, likely realising he just pissed off one of the most dangerous beings in the room. Not-Bakugou just swayed in place for a short second before launching up with what can only be described as a war-cry and slamming his curry straight into the blonde’s face resulting in a strangled, curry filled scream on his end.

Ah Todoroki thinks, now that’s the Bakugou I know.

“You. Are. All. FUCKING. DEAD!!” he screeched with inhuman intensity, grabbing several meals off class A’s table and Howitzering them straight across the room, assaulting 1-B with a rain storm of fire and burning food. Despite his unprecedented fury, it seemed like Bakugou still had exceptional control over his quirk as not a single flame or grain of scorching rice landed near a very shell-shocked Kogane. Upon receiving a hardened look from the explosive teen, the girl in question quickly scurried over to 1-A’s table. “I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU BASTARDS!! IF YOU WANT TO PICK A FIGHT WITH MY CLASS,” his voice fell to a dangerous growl, “You’ll have to go through me.”

…

There was an all-out war in seconds.

Shoto, like a good, supportive classmate, kicked his feet up onto the table and watched the madness unfold, every piece of food somehow missing him. Upon Kogane gingerly taking a seat next to him, he pulled out a bag of ready-made popcorn from his blazer pocket – you know, the kind he keeps specifically for things like this – and offered her some. Distantly, he saw Lunch Rush mechanically pack up his things and walk out of the room.

“So,” Kogane began, accepting the proffered snack, “does he usually do this?”

“Not with so much intensity but yeah. The screaming definitely.” She gave an acknowledging hum just as a sparkling piece of crumbed chicken flew past and tussled her hair. Seemingly immune to the chaos, Tarashi walked in half way through the fight.

“Have you seen my two kittens? They managed to escape~”

No. Just- no. Shoto was not allowing the kidnapping of his friends again.

Before he even knew what he was doing, he set two rice balls aflame and hurled them straight at her with spiteful glee. Whistling like plane dropped bombs, both rice balls struck true eliciting a panicked shriek from the woman and a stifled giggle from Akari. With new found adrenaline and joy, Todoroki decided to leap into the fray with full force, tossing his conspiracy journal and glasses stylishly over to Kogane on his way. He’s had several years of missed food fights to catch up on from his sheltered childhood.

An unknown amount of time and a completely obliterated cafeteria later, the war was over. Unlike the last event, class A were the clear winners; between Bakugou’s rage-fueled strength, his own childlike enthusiasm and Yaoyorozu’s ingenuity and quirk versatility, Kotogotoshii High – bar Kogane – were annihilated. Unfortunately, there were two prisoners taken from his side as some time during the fray, Midoriya and Uraraka were snagged by a frightfully evasive Tarashi. Despite the losses, Shoto couldn’t help the elation he was currently feeling because food fights are fucking awesome! Really, how did he survive childhood without them?! Though, he immediately schooled his face back into his usual stoic expression upon receiving a particularly withering glare from Bakugou.

Actually, speaking of Bakugou…

Not wasting a second, the heterochromatic teen strolled calmly up to the blonde and placed a hand on his shoulder, speaking a deadly serious tone, “I’m glad they gave you back.”

Bakugou’s face pinched with confusion and fury, “What in the ever-loving fuck does that mean?!”

Chapter Text

--- day 4 ---

Let it be said that Tenya Iida was not an eavesdropper. He was raised by a proud family of upstanding heroes who taught him the importance of both respecting privacy and demonstrating good manners after all. In fact, these principles were easily a source of his own pride as a hero and a founding pillar of his very personality. After seeing what an amazing hero his brother Ingenium was, Tenya swore to himself that he would never stoop so low as to do something like eavesdrop or spy on people – that kind of behaviour was definitely not befitting for a hero in training! So, with that in mind, Iida could say with complete certainty that he was not eavesdropping right now. He just happened to be passing by a corridor when he heard Aizawa sensei and Mic sensei talking and found a very interesting spot on the floor to scrutinise for a few minutes. Big difference. That said, Iida felt the class deserved some answers in regards to the madness they’ve had to tolerate. If Tenya himself had to dip his toes into the cold ocean of dubious morals and self-deceit to provide them, then by God he would do it. He was the class representative.

It was Aizawa sensei whom he first heard, “Where on Earth are the rest of the staff and where are you going?”

“Really Shou? I thought you would have figured it out by this point. Must be getting slow in your old age~”

“Oh, I have figured it out,” he retorted ignoring the quip at his age, “I just want to hear it straight from your mouth that you’re all a bunch of cowards.”

There was a mock offended gasp, “we’re not cowards Shou! You destroyed one of Nedzu’s teacups during NSSS Month!”

Hold on…is that what this month is about?

“Yes, Hizashi. I am painfully aware.” Iida found himself immensely grateful that Aizawa’s back was turned to him when he said that – if Tenya could feel the glare even with the man’s back turned, it likely would have killed him face on. Present Mic seemed unfazed however, probably used to the glares.

“This is just a tactical retreat,” he made a dismissive waving motion with his hand, “besides, we’re taking our classes with us so it’s educational too. I’m sure it can’t be that bad anyway; there’s only fourteen of them, right?”

Iida and Aizawa gave identical scoffs at the voice hero’s dismissal; 1-B and their teacher were intolerable. If they were chosen as the best for this class swap, it was possible that that intolerability extended to the rest of the school as well. Taking a deep breath to calm his sudden outrage, Tenya decided it was time to move on. He had already gathered all the information he needed so staying around any longer would just be unnecessary and immoral. Taking a step away from the hallway, the engine quirk user felt his blood freeze at Aizawa’s next words.

“In all seriousness ‘Zashi, there is something very…wrong with that class. At first, I thought it was just arrogance or eccentricity in Tarashi’s case but I feel like it goes a lot deeper than that. If Kogane’s words about the school’s values were correct, then these people are undeniably dangerous or they will become that way.” Iida swallowed thickly.

“If you really believe that,” Mic replied with a sudden sternness, “then you need to take this to the police. Tsukauchi trusts your judgement and is probably one of the best detectives out there so you should go to him.”

“I don’t really want to leave my class alone.”

“Hmmmm I wouldn’t worry too much about that. Regardless of your current standing on Nedzu’s shit list, he’s still a responsible principal and I doubt anyone would risk doing anything dubious while under his strict monitoring. It’s not like they can go off campus either without your assent so the listeners should be safe for a day or two without you.”

Aizawa gave a deep sigh, “alright, I’ll go see Tsukauchi today. Thanks for the advice ‘Zashi,” his voice turned sarcastic, “oh and, have fun on your…educational trip.” The voice hero just gave an exuberant laugh and hugged the stoic man.

“Awwww~ I’ll miss you too Shou~”

Not wanting to intrude any longer, Iida took the final few steps away from the conversation with a thoughtful scowl adorning his face. In just under an hour, he had to attend a student council meeting between the two classes along with Yaoyorozu. Apparently, this is what class 1-B had a conference about yesterday; they felt they needed to schedule a meeting to…settle the differences between the two hero classes to avoid further conflict in the future. While a civil meeting certainly appealed to Iida’s sensibility, he just couldn’t get Aizawa’s words out of his head;

“These people are undeniably dangerous or they will become that way.”

Somewhere along the way to the meeting in Kotogotoshii’s assigned spare dorm, Tenya had somehow managed to subdue to the negative thoughts swirling around the forefront of his mind. Yaoyorozu had seemed to sense his unease and gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder and a gentle smile, a gesture he was incredibly grateful for. Upon opening the door to the meeting room however, all of his previous composure had crumbled away in an instant.

“Ah, president Iida and vice Yaoyorozu so…good of you to come,” Shikke began, “we had our doubts you would actually show yourselves.”

Lacking his typical hand chops, Iida spoke in a harsh tone, “We take our duties as class representatives very seriously.”

“Oh, I’m sure. Now then, take a seat.” Shikke gestured to a pair of unoccupied, red plush chairs a little to Yaoyorozu’s left. Gingerly taking a seat, Iida examined the room. The room itself was quite understated; large and spacious but lacking any sort of décor that would portray the character of the building’s designer. It was rather disturbing in that regard; the polished white floor and equally polished white walls giving off a sort of…soulless feeling. The reflection caused by the room’s white interior surfaces only served to increase the perceived vastness of the room making it seem lonelier and emptier. The table on the other hand, was made of lacquered black wood and the red chairs underneath it made it appear like a giant dried bloodstain in the otherwise pristine room. Tenya cringed; he really didn’t want to spend any more time in here than strictly necessary.

Next to him, Yaoyorozu raised her hand, “if I may ask president Shikke, why is your entire class present? I was under the impression that this was a meeting between each class’s representatives.” Actually, Iida was wondering about that too.

“We believe all people in our school deserve an equal voice,” a snide smile overtook his educated features, “how unfortunate that UA does not value equality.” Tenya internally facepalmed at their rather…distorted idea of a student council, but it didn’t surprise him. Rather than argue about it, his eyes wondered over to the empty seat on 1-B’s side of the table and noted Kogane’s absence. Following his gaze, Shikke answered the unspoken question.

“It seems student number 12 is no longer in line with our school’s values, truly a shame. Until her behaviour can be…corrected, we will not consider her part of our class.” Iida and Yaoyorozu shared a quick sideways glance at the disconcerting words. The consternation he felt from overhearing Aizawa speak earlier coming back with a vengeance, prompting his next question.

“What of Midoriya and Uraraka?” upon seeing the confused glances, he elaborated, “the two students who were with Tarashi sensei. We haven’t seen them since lunch yesterday and the class is understandably concerned.”

The cat-eared girl giggled at the question, her short black hair bobbing with each tiny heave of her shoulders, “who cares?” Yaoyorozu clenched the fabric of her skirt tightly between her fingers.

“They’re our friends-“

“Geez, enough questions!” Oshaberi suddenly shrieked making them flinch, “we are here for a meeting, not an interrogation! SO! To begin, letmestartbysayinghowmuchILOVEheroes?HaveItoldyouaboutthatyet?Idon’tthinkIhavesoletmejuststartoutbysayingthatILOVEheroes!!OhwaitIsaidthatalreadydidn’tI?OhmyGODIjustlikeLOVEthemyouknow?-“

Iida visibly deflated at the abrupt onslaught of blathering; this was going to be a long meeting.

Returning to the dorms that night – because the meeting actually took several hours – would have to be the highlight of Iida’s entire day. He really couldn’t help the bitter thoughts that were currently making their presence painstakingly known in a very Midoriya-like mutter fest:

“Deserving equal voices my ass. That entire meeting was over 90% composed of Oshaberi talking about unrelated gossip. What a complete waste of time and energy. I hope I have never have to do that agai-“

His thoughts were once again graciously interrupted by Yaoyorozu patting his shoulder with a smile; he had apparently muttered the whole way back. Opening the doors to Heights Alliance with a subdued creak, he was greeted with the sights of Shinsou, – who was thankfully done with his daily mad banquet of darkness – and Shouji loitering near the kitchen and much to his surprise and relief, Kogane, Midoriya and Uraraka were all sitting together on the couch. Next to him, Yaoyorozu let out a thankful breath.

“Midoriya! Uraraka! Where on Earth have you-“ he was quickly silenced by Kogane raising a finger to her lips in a shushing motion. She gestured quietly to the two teens in question who Iida only now realised were sleeping, though, their expressions were exhausted rather than restful. Taking in their scene with more detail, he also realised that the two of them were covered in dust and cobwebs which Akari was meticulously wiping away with a damp towel. He heaved a resigned sigh; once again he was unable to ask about what they’ve been doing. And why was Kogane-

Anticipating his next question, the blonde turned to him and spoke, “I saw them heading to the dorms covered in filth, not too sure where it came from though,” she resumed her previous task with a sheepish look, “I figured they’d probably need help getting it all off and I sort let myself in. Sorry, I probably should have asked first, but your teacher wasn’t here and neither were you two so...”

Momo smiled at her softly, “please, think nothing of it. You’re always welcome.” Although, there was something in the way the noirette’s jaw was set that alerted Iida to the fact that she was likely thinking about what was said in the meeting earlier. Honestly, Iida couldn’t get the word “corrected” out of his head either.

“How did the meeting go anyway?” Shouji asked.

Yaoyorozu pinched the bridge of her nose and bit back a groan, “frankly, it was terrible. Out of the very little that wasn’t taken up by Oshaberi talking, it was just Shikke shaming our class and our school, blaming us for the conflicts that they started.” Neither she nor Tenya wanted to mention the hostility shown towards Kogane during the meeting, not with the girl in the room. As the room fell into silence, he saw the girl in question draping a blanket over his now clean friends.

“Hey, what do you know about Tarashi?”

Seemingly caught off guard, Akari whirled to face Shinsou with a startled expression but upon seeing everyone’s concerned faces, it became something more rueful, “honestly? Very little.  I think she had a few other short-term teaching jobs before Kotogotoshii…but that’s about it. I think they were in the shadier parts of Musutafu but don’t quote me on it – she doesn’t discuss her past much. None of the teachers at our school do.”

After silently glancing at the stars outside for a few moments, she turned to address the room once again and bowed, “it’s quite late so I should probably head back to 1-B’s dorm now. I wish you all a good night.” For some reason, as soon as she said she was leaving, all of today’s earlier words rushed back into Tenya’s head;

“These people are undeniably dangerous or they will become that way.”

“Until her behaviour can be…corrected, we will not consider her part of our class.”

Without thinking, he roughly snatched her wrist just before she made it to the door causing her to yell out loudly in shock. As irrational as it was, Yaoyorozu seemed to be thinking the same thing as she frantically tried to explain Iida’s actions, “we were wondering if you wanted to stay the night? It may be…safer than returning to your dorms at this time.”

Akari tilted her head with furrowed brows, “safer? Why- what do you-“ she frowned in concentration for a second, “…my class said something during the meeting, didn’t they?” Both of them gave an almost imperceptible nod as Iida gently unclasped her wrist. Biting her lower lip, she went quiet in thought before looking up with a hardened gaze.

“I…trust you. If you honestly think I’m in danger, I’ll stay with your class.” She laughed at the loud, collective sigh of relief that overtook the room and smiled with glowing eyes, “thank you for having me.” Iida smiled back at her in a way that didn’t quite reach his eyes but thankfully, Akari didn’t notice. 

He really hoped Aizawa sensei was wrong about the rest of 1-B.

Chapter Text

--- day 4/ day 5 ---

The first thing he registered upon waking up was that Tarashi sensei wasn’t in the room. He supposed he should be a little more concerned that this was the foremost thought on his mind as soon as he opened his eyes but his paranoia was such that he wasn’t too shocked. If Izuku’s learnt one thing these past few days, it’s that you can never be too prepared when dealing with the woman in question. She’s certainly talented, he’ll give her that much; let your guard down for a single second and she just snatches you away before you even turn around. Perhaps the only other person capable of snagging heroes-in-training from behind with such ease would be Eraserhead himself and he’s actually trained. Distantly, Midoriya wondered what Tarashi did to become as stealthy as Aizawa sensei seeing as she isn’t a pro hero.

The other thing that Midoriya has learnt during his time with 1-B’s teacher is that once captured, escape is virtually impossible. Now, most people would hear that statement and immediately think that Tarashi herself is difficult to escape from. Well, they wouldn’t be entirely wrong there; the woman was like a bloodhound when it came to their many runaway attempts. However, there was something far more effective in foiling their fugitive activities;

Nedzu’s Plus Ultra death traps™.

Which were, apparently, hidden everywhere.

Honestly, Midoriya has seen his life flash before his eyes so many times in the last four days that he can now accurately recall every single minute of his life from the moment he was born. While this is certainly great material for if he ever wanted to write an autobiography, he can’t say he appreciates the constant brushes with death. Between being assaulted by the handles of rakes he’s stepped on, – apparently that’s a universal law – playing a very realistic game of “the floor is lava” and having to escape from a cruel mockery of Harry Houdini’s “Overboard Box Escape”, Izuku can safely say he’s experienced enough of the principal’s twisted imagination to last several lifetimes. Just earlier today, he and Uraraka became covered in dust and cobwebs not from the vents they were using to escape, but rather from the pitfall trap that was hidden within the vents. How that was even architecturally possible, Midoriya had absolutely no idea but Nedzu made it work somehow. Plus Ultra and all that. Quite possibly the safest stunt he had pulled so far was his ungraceful defenestration from a 5^th floor window and if he’s being perfectly honest, the only reason he survived that was because of Uraraka’s quirk. Midoriya would definitely give the principal full points for his creativity but a lot of these points were deducted for every time Izuku met the Grim Reaper. Any future points Nedzu may have been entitled to receive in this field were removed on the grounds that the death traps had resulted in immense exhaustion and delivered he and his best friend back into Tarashi’s eager clutches.

Sometimes, Midoriya had to wonder if escaping from Tarashi was really worth risking his life for but every time he met her gaze, he decided that he would rather die a thousand times over than stay. He’s thought about using the flash bang several times too but as Kogane mentioned, he should save it something really urgent. It’s not as if anything has really happened with Tarashi so far to warrant its use – all they’ve done for the week is served her tea and carried her paperwork – but something in the way she hovers around him and Uraraka and never lets them leave her sight makes Midoriya’s skin crawl. Something in the way she’ll touch their shoulders or smile at them for whatever reason, reminds him so much of the…hunger in Overhaul’s eyes that it makes him sick. He has never found himself more grateful of All Might for taking Eri to stay with the Wild Wild Pussycats for the duration of NSSS month. As much as he misses her, he doesn’t want Tarashi going anywhere near the little girl he treasures like a sister. Izuku’s also eternally thankful for the fact that he has had his best friend with him the entire time. He just can’t shake the thought that…something would have happened to him if Ochaco wasn’t there.

Speaking of the brunette, she was currently floating up to the roof in her sleep like an errant helium balloon. Rubbing the bags under his eyes tiredly, he decided he should probably go fetch her off the ceiling. So much for sleeping tonight.

When Midoriya next opened his eyes, - though not at all rested – he was back in his room with absolutely no memory of when he got there. That was quite concerning in its own right but perhaps more concerning was the fact that his sixth sense was back. Well, to be fair, it never really left but today it was different. Stronger. So strong in fact, that he really wouldn’t be surprised to open his bedroom door and find All For One calling him down to breakfast with Shigaraki and his band of merry men. Though, with the dorm’s security as it was – Plus Ultra, if the death traps were anything to go by – the odds of a villain showing up at his door were next to nothing, so where could the danger be coming from? He glanced nervously around the room for a second and gasped at his sudden epiphany.

The window…

Staring at his dark blue All Might curtains, he could feel his senses cry out in desperation that something very bad was on the other side. Midoriya never thought he’d ever think this but for once, he actually hoped Aoyama had left another ambiguous message written in camembert. With the absolute nightmare of a week he’s been having, that would quite honestly be a blessing. Now, the sensible thing to do in this scenario would be to leave the room or call for back-up or something other than just sit here but for some reason, he couldn’t tear his emerald eyes away from the covered glass. Inching ever closer to the window, Izuku thought he could hear Aizawa sensei’s words ring in his mind: “Use your head problem child.” Nodding to himself and agreeing with his internal Aizawa, he decided to think rationally for a moment before opening the offending glass panel.

Exhibit A: the rest of the class is still sleeping and no death traps have been triggered in addition to the ones I’ve stepped on. Conclusion: whatever is on the other side is not an intruder and by extension, not a villain. Alright, good start.

Exhibit B: if this isn’t a villain, the only thing it could be is something that was already on campus. Conclusion: it is either a UA student or teacher, an animal that lives on campus, or a Kotogotoshii High student or…teacher…

…

…no…

…please, anything but that…

Swallowing hoarsely, Midoriya stumbled back from the window in a cold sweat. Honestly, he may lose all of his remaining sanity if he finds who he suspects is waiting for him. Izuku wasn’t too sure when he started babbling incoherently, but it was becoming quite difficult to breath at this point. Or maybe that was the hyperventilating – whenever that started – but that was a problem he did not want to deal with right now. Greedily sucking in a few gulps of air, he turned his attention to the many pairs of his mentor’s eyes adorning his walls in order to psyche himself up. Come on, Izuku. You’re All Might’s successor, you can handle this. Besides, there’s only on way to find out what’s on the other side, right? Right.

In what may have been the dumbest decision of his entire life, Midoriya ignored his hero sense and moved closer to the window. With shaking hands, he reached out and gripped the curtains, throwing them open with one dramatic motion only to find…

…

Absolutely nothing.

Just an empty balcony. Heaving a very large sigh of relief and deactivating One For All – whenever that started – Midoriya slid his eyes closed and dropped to the floor, suddenly overcome by deranged giggling. Honestly, why was he so worked up about this? Like a teacher would just show up outside his window! Crazy! Even Tarashi sensei has scruples.

Once the laughing – and inevitably crying – finally died out, he heard a strange…clicking sound and opened his eyes back to the balcony. Without so much as a second thought-

“Good morning Mido-chan! I was finally able to unlock your window, isn't that great~”

-Midoriya screamed.

Chapter Text

--- day 5 ---

Bakugou valued his sleep schedule like it was a rule that defined the universe itself. So, he seriously didn’t appreciate being woken up at a time that didn’t conform to his strict routine; which was, for the record, any time that wasn’t 07:00am. Waking him at these other times was somewhat akin to poking a hibernating bear with a sharp stick – both very stupid and very dangerous. That said, he wasn’t really surprised by unwarranted disruptions, not after moving into the dorms with people like his self-proclaimed squad hanging around. He’s lost count of how many times he’s woken up to one of Sparky’s stupidity-induced brain frying fiascoes, Stupid Hair’s “bro talks” on the phone to his doppleganger in class B or some other ridiculous stunt someone in the class has pulled. So over time, he’s learnt to just tune out the annoyances. What he never has woken up to though – which is probably why he woke up immediately – is screaming. Perhaps more concerning was the fact that this was Deku’s screaming.

There were a lot of things Katsuki could say about his childhood…whatever-the-hell-they-were. He had known Deku for his entire life and as much as he would rather die before he admitted it, he did care about the nerd. Quite a lot actually. So, armed with a lifetime of knowledge, Bakugou could definitively say that Deku could cry, laugh, smile and rapidly go through emotions that Katsuki didn’t even know fucking existed on a daily basis but-

Deku never screamed.

And boy did that set off a cacophony of alarm bells. Not wasting a second, Bakugou through himself from his bed and made it to the nerd’s room in mere seconds. If he found out that Deku was just screaming about a bug or some shit, Katsuki swore that he would be the next one to suffer Zen mode – nobody interrupted Bakugou’s slumber, not even Katsuki himself. Although considering the nerd had been holed up with Stalker sensei for days on end, his nerves were probably through the fucking roof so if it was something irrelevant, Katsuki might, might, just let him slide, regardless of which level his anger was at. This most decidedly had nothing to do with the fact that he missed the doughy-eyed bastard in all of his muttering glory. Absolutely. Fucking. Not.

Upon reaching the door, the first thing he noted was the absence of the nerd himself – who probably got the fuck out of there if the scream was anything to go by– and the next thing was Eyebags, Birdbrain and Twinkle Toes staring into his doorway in some kind of weird stupor, none of them even noticing his presence. Eye twitching in agitation and anger rapidly surpassing the minor irritation level, he approached the door loudly in a cloud of nitroglycerin with dangerously sparking palms.

“Oi! Extras! What the fuck happe-“

“Oh, hi Baku-chan! Could you get Mido-chan for me? He’s playing hard to get~”

Not missing a beat, Katsuki slammed the door shut with a loud bang and ran his caramel smelling fingers through his sleep-tussled hair with a heartfelt “fuck”. Stomping a few steps away from the door, his rage began teetering on the very thin edge between unbridled wrath and inner peace. As soon as he saw Eyebags and Birdbrain instigating a ritual of darkness in the doorframe however, the edge just crumbled away like Tomura Fuckaraki had touched it. He doesn’t even know why that pissed him off so much, it just did. Glancing to his right, he spied Twinkle Toes going pale and nauseous at the sight of whatever monstrous face he was pulling just as Ponytail rushed up to the door with the majority of class A in tow. When he turned to face them with a pretty smile, the whole class stumbled back with a horrified gasp.

Ponytail took a deep breath to regain her composure, “what happened? Is Midoriya alright?”

Bakugou was about to say something very Zen-like but thankfully, before any heart attacks could ensue, Aoyama decided to explain, “C'est tragique. Tarashi sensei decided to make an appearance outside of mon amie’s window. Alas, I did not see where he made his dazzling escape but he should still be in the building, non?” Bakugou hissed under his breath at that; Deku was probably too afraid to fucking leave now.

The entire class winced at the explanation, falling into a pregnant silence. That was, until Ponytail suddenly yelped in surprise, “wait! What about Urara-“

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

Everyone simultaneously glanced up at the sound, “-never mind.”

“I’ll go find them,” Eyebags said, snapping out of his occultic funk, “God knows I’d need to be brainwashed after this.”

“Dude, that’s so manly!”

“Revelry in the dark.”

“Guys, are we just gonna ignore the whole Zen mode thing again?”

“Don’t worry about it Kaminari.”

“…right.”

“Haven’t we had this conversation before?”

“Now that I think about it-“

“In all seriousness,” Half n’ Half cut in harshly through the clamour, “this has gotten way out of hand. Midoriya and Uraraka can’t even go five minutes without that woman showing up. They’re already sleep deprived and now with this,” he gestured to the sealed room, “they’ve lost the only bit of privacy they had left.”

It felt like the warmth in the air was sucked out at the words – probably thanks to IcyHot and his fucking emotions – and the entire class fell eerily quiet until Racoon Eyes spoke up.

“But what can we actually do? It’s not like we can just kick them out, Nedzu wouldn’t let us. Aizawa sensei is on pretty good terms with Nedzu though, you think sensei could convince him otherwise?” At the back of the group, Glasses stiffened and looked away. Bakugou sent a particularly contemptuous glare at the class president upon spotting the reaction – he’d have to tortu- *ahem* question him later. For now, Katsuki turned to face the rest of the class with empty eyes and a wide grin.

“I don’t know why we need to wait,” he yipped like a tail-wagging puppy, “when I can just remove the problem myself!” Class A recoiled in horror with a collective gulp while IcyHot started writing like a man possessed. Not hearing anything besides some alien invasion theories, Bakugou began strolling towards the dorm entrance with a cheery smile, ignoring how stiff the air was. It was eventually one of the Bakusquad members – possibly Shitty Hair – that called out.

“Bakubro…” he laughed nervously, “where are you going?”

Without turning around, he growled back, “to go collect some heads for my wall,” causing the room to go deathly still until Kaminari whispered, “Holy shit, he’s serious…” That was apparently enough to spur Shitty Hair into action, holding Bakugou back with his unbreakable form. That was quite possibly the very purpose of unbreakable.

“SERO! We need lots of tape! Satou, help me hold him back!”

“Let me go extras. Heads need to roll for this.” Hair for Brains flinched so violently at the growl that even his hardened form shivered while Tape Arms started taping with renewed vigour until Bakugou was wrapped in a veritable cocoon. Now pinned to the floor, writhing in his sticky bindings like a fly in a spider’s web, Katsuki suddenly caught sight of a pair of guest slippers shuffling towards him, scuffing the carpet with each controlled step. Looking up, he was met with Goldilocks – he couldn’t quite remember her name – with an uncharacteristic frown marring her doll-like face.

“What the fuck are you doing here Goldilocks?”

It would seem as if the girl had nerves of steel as she didn’t even twitch at his astringent tone, continuing to stare directly into his red eyes. Her gaze suddenly toughened in a way that was reminiscent of Deku’s villain killing stare and much to everyone’s surprise, she replied with a growl of her own, “making sure you won’t do anything stupid.”

The whole class – sans for Todoroki who was still writing – took a simultaneous step back; this girl was terrifying when she was angry. The effect was only lessened by the fact that up close, Katsuki could see her hands trembling ever so slightly. Still undeterred, Bakugou shot back at her with an intense glare, “I’m not gonna let you stop me!”

She glared back harder with glowing eyes, “and I’m not going to let you mar your reputation because you’re too caught up in revenge to think clearly!” In a rare moment of synchronicity, the entire class let out an awestruck breath; no one had ever shouted back at Bakugou like that but it may be just the thing to get through to the blonde. Even Katsuki himself was a little stunned but his respect for her had certainly shot up a few notches – the girl had guts to fight back against his Zen mode. Regardless, the two blondes continued scowling at each other in what was probably the world’s most intense staring competition until Four Eyes interjected calmly.

“Kogane’s right Bakugou,” Ah, that was her name, “what you did in the cafeteria could be considered self-defence but this would just be an outright attack. You would risk losing your license over it.” He gave an annoyed huff but stopped struggling; they were right and he really didn’t want to lose the license he worked so hard to get. After watching Sero release his restraints, Glasses continued, “besides, Aizawa sensei was visiting the police so he should come back tonight with-“

“Woah, woah, woah, hold the phone,” Ashido butted in with her hands raised, “Aizawa sensei didn’t mention where he was going. How do you know he was going to the police?”

Glasses pulled a face like he ate a lemon Warhead, “I…overheard a conversation.”

“You eavesdropped?” Uniform clarified.

“…overheard.” The entire class nodded slowly with a hum to indicate their complete lack of belief while Sparky threw some celebratory confetti from fuck knows where. Blunt as ever, Frogger spoke next.

“Well, if what Iida eavesdropped on was true kero,” she ignored his cringe and the following snickers, “then we just have to wait until Aizawa sensei gets back tonight. For now, we should send him a message to inform him of the situation and only retaliate in self-defence, kero.” Katsuki really didn’t like how everyone gave him a pointed look.

Ponytail nodded her assent and began typing a message, “Kogane, would you be willing to stay here with Midoriya and Uraraka? I’d feel better if someone was with them and with what was said yesterday…”

“I understand,” Kogane replied, all traces of her previous anger now absent, “and with what happened this morning, I’d actually be quite happy keeping them company.” Bakugou raised a suspicious brow at the brief exchange; if Ponytail was implying that class B threatened her for helping his class, he may have another reason to instigate their demise.

“Hey uh…” Shitty Hair began, “not to ruin the moment, but we have to get to class now.”

Even the walls of the dorm groaned in anguish at that.

Leaving the Heights Alliance later that morning, Katsuki was inevitably met with the sight of Tarashi loitering outside asking all of 1-A about the whereabouts of Deku and Pink Cheeks in her sickly-sweet tone. Thanks to the lecture he received earlier that morning, he was willing to just ignore her and it seemed everyone else was as well. That was until she started grabbing people’s shoulders to get their attention. Somehow oblivious to the fact that she was about to fuck with the teenage reincarnation of the devil, she grabbed Bakugou’s shoulder and that was when her fate was truly sealed.

Very quickly ascending back into Zen mode, he turned to face her very slowly with one of his most deranged Disney princess grins, and spoke with complete and utter sincerity;

“Thank you so much, sensei! This is self-defence now.”

Chapter Text

--- day 5 ---

On most evenings, Aizawa would enjoy the tranquility that came with his patrols as a pro hero. That wasn’t to say that his job itself was relaxing; no, what Aizawa found relaxing was the darkness and quiet that the night brought. There was just something so…nice about being shrouded in the dark cloak of Musutafu’s nights; the way the colours and flashy lights of daylight heroes would fade into the varying hues of grey that defined the underground heroics he dabbled in. It was dangerous sure, but defeating the villains that also made the dark their home was all part of the excitement. Shouta really couldn’t trade the feeling of saving lives for the world. By far his favourite part though was being able to run and leap freely over the rooves; a precious little moment where Aizawa could let go of his rationality and logic and just be free. It was, in a word, exhilarating. Tonight however, and for the last few nights as well, he just couldn’t bring himself to feel the same excitement and focus on what he was doing as there was always one thought littering his mind:

I’m leaving my students alone to fend for themselves.

For the first few days of NSSS, this was merely a thought that tickled the back of his mind; something that raised his resting level of unease up just a little. However, with every passing day, every passing incident, the thought had steadily wormed its way into the forefront of his mind. After he had received a text message from Yaoyorozu stating that one class B student had been threatened by her class and that Tarashi had decided to make an appearance at Midoriya’s and Uraraka’s fucking windows, it all went downhill from there. He honestly thought that no one would be stupid enough to do something like that with UA’s security and thought it was safe to leave them alone. Thanks to one little presumption, one little mistake, the entire class was once again caught up in something awful, just like the very beginning of this month with that damned teacup. Once again, his students were hurt because of his “innocent” mistakes and boy, did that leave a bitter taste in his mouth. His guilt only got worse when he received a second message several minutes after the first to inform him that Bakugou had managed launch Tarashi halfway across the campus with an AP shot, resulting in an entire day with no teachers around to supervise classes. Alright, he may have laughed – he really wished he could have seen it – but it was very quickly overtaken by his concern for the blonde. Shouta could only hope the kid had the wit to act in self-defence if only to avoid the legal repercussions. Then came the third, and by far the largest, source of consternation.

Namely, what he had learned upon his visit to the police station.

On the surface, Kotogotoshii High was perfectly respectable; offering a similar spread of courses to UA, 100% graduation rate, multiple proud articles featuring graduates that had been accepted into hero agencies, the whole works. Scratching just underneath the rose-coloured public image however revealed rather…telling statistics about their former heroics students. That is, approximately 90% of their graduates who went on to become heroes had some of the highest rates of property damage, civilian endangerment and unethical treatment of villains in the entire country. Digging a little deeper into their history uncovered the fact that a large number of Kotogotoshii High graduates went on to become petty criminals and villains, a fact that was very cleverly covered up by directing public attention to the 10% of their heroes that did their jobs well. Looking into their current students also exposed multiple counts of assault, illegal quirk usage, harassment and in one instance, sexual misconduct. All in all, the school was very corrupt; students past and present racking up enough crimes to fill every police station in the city.

While this knowledge was certainly apt cause for alarm, this was not what Aizawa found the most worrying. What worried him most was the information he found on Otoko Tarashi, or rather, the lack there of. Even with the combined efforts of him and Tsukauchi, their search for the woman had come up empty; no teaching credentials, no birth certificates, marriage certificates, just- nothing. As far as public records were concerned, Tarashi didn’t exist. So, either she was very good at covering her tracks from the police or Otoko Tarashi was a fake identity. Ultimately, neither option boded particularly well for the woman’s character, especially considering her obsessive behaviour towards Midoriya and Uraraka.

With the certifiable mountain of shady dealings and unanswered questions that Shouta has become privy to in the last 24 hours, he was, understandably, stressed the fuck out. Honestly, he felt quite sorry for any villains that had the misfortune of running into him tonight; he was being a fair bit more underhanded in his takedowns than usual. Now nearing the end of his patrol, Aizawa had completely lost count of how many eye pokes, throat jabs and groin kicks he’s performed in the last few hours. Though, watching yet another villain charging straight at him, he decided that kicking one more person in the crotch would be a pretty satisfying end to the night. If he happened to be projecting a disturbing combination of Tarashi and Nedzu onto the guy when he did it, only Shouta had to know. If the villain’s voice also happened to be a few octaves higher now, that was on a strictly need-to-know basis as well.

Shuffling back into the Heights Alliance common room with a large yawn, he was immediately greeted with the sight of Midoriya and Uraraka perched together on one of the couches, shoulders set in a tense line. He was actually expecting to see them here tonight; after the horrors of the window incident earlier in the day, he’s really wasn’t surprised to see them giving their own rooms a wide birth. What did surprise him however, is the fact that they hadn’t even reacted to his presence despite him standing directly in their line of sight. He could take a pretty good guess as to why and one look at the dark, bruising circles underneath their eyes and their pale complexions confirmed it.

Sleep deprivation. Very bad sleep deprivation.

Aizawa pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, his hatred for Kotogotoshii High and their sham of a teacher rising exponentially. Ignoring that particular feeling for now, he called out to get their attention.

“What are you two doing up past curfew?” The words were said in his usual flat tone but he made sure the concern was projected clearly. They didn’t even twitch.

Trying movement this time, Shouta stalked over to them slowly, deliberately making his footfalls heavier to catch their attention. Unfortunately, still nothing. Scowling deeply, he crouched directly in front of them, clicking his fingers near their faces a few times and finally, they react. The reaction was sluggish and they seemed to be having trouble focussing but they managed to look at him. It’s an unnerving disparity to their customary bubbly personalities but it’s certainly better than the near catatonic shells they were when he first entered. Letting out a relieved breath, he smiled subtly at them.

“Back with us?”

Uraraka tried to smile in return but it didn’t quite reach her eyes, “yeah… sorry, we’re just tired.”

“I can see that,” he murmured back. Concerningly, Midoriya still hadn’t spoken, just staring through Shouta with a blank, unseeing gaze and focussing on some non-existent point in the distance. Trying to garner a reaction Aizawa directed his next question directly to him, “why can’t you sleep?”

Once again, he suspected he knew the answer but he was willing to go through unnecessary steps if it will get them talking. Part of him is also curious whether the problem child will actually admit it considering his track record for downplaying his feelings. For a long few seconds, Midoriya still didn’t answer the question, blinking owlishly, and Aizawa started to wonder if he was truly conscious. Just as Shouta went to repeat the question, Midoriya spoke at long last, voice washed out and too quiet.

“…Tarashi….”

Yep, exactly what I thought.

“…It’s just…she’s always there,” he continued, not entirely lucid, “…no matter what… she’s just…there. And now at the windows too…” he trailed off with a soft sigh and frown adorning his features. Uraraka gave a similar frown, picking at her nails with her uncharacteristically sallow cheeks puffed out in irritation like a chipmunk; a sort of helpless frustration overcoming them both. Looking at them up close now, he realised how exhausted they both look. Their skin is pale and lacking any trace of a warm hue and if Shouta’s not mistaken, they’re both a little thinner than they were when the month began.

His frown deepened, “when was the last time either of you slept properly?”

The two looked at each other numbly for a moment before Uraraka gave a half-hearted shrug.

“Alright then. Come with me, you can stay in the teacher’s dorm. She won’t look for you there.”

That at least gets a better reaction out of them as they immediately scramble to their feet, swaying a little and following after him like two very awkward ducklings. Almost immediately upon entering the teachers’ area, the two collapsed onto the couch, seemingly out of energy. Something in their eyes appeared to be begging him to stay in the room but apparently neither of them were brave enough to vocalise it, likely thinking they were too old for something like that. Settling on a compromise, Shouta wrapped his capture weapon around their shoulders, giving a light huff of amusement as their eyes practically glowed at the gesture. As he got up to leave, he couldn’t help the pleased feeling he got when they both snuggled into the warm fabric.

Coming back with his laptop and a blanket minutes later, he wasn’t shocked to observe that they’d both gone completely limp and quiet, swaddled in each other’s arms and loops of capture weapon. The exhaustion must have been taking its toll; God knows how long they’ve been forcing themselves to stay awake in case that monster came back. Laying the blanket on their sleeping forms with a sigh, Aizawa opened his laptop on to the underground hero network – it was time to do some digging on Otoko Tarashi. If he remembered correctly, Midoriya said something about her quirk be allowing her to steal the body heat of living things. It’s a pretty distinctive quirk so searching for that rather than her name may yield better results than last time. An hour of searching later, he definitely found results but they were not “better” in any sense of the word.

The report he found detailed the abduction of 15 children around the shadier parts of Musutafu starting approximately five years ago. The incidents followed no identifiable pattern; the victims likely being chosen based on the kidnapper’s preferences rather than mindless compulsion. The primary suspect in the case was a woman in her mid-twenties named Yuukai Oshikake who could remove the heat from objects upon touching them with all five fingers but ultimately, she was let go with lack of incriminating evidence. It was suggested that the culprit incapacitated the victims by causing hypothermia before taking them and out of the 15 children that were taken-

Only one was found.

Flopping into the back rest of the couch, Aizawa rubbed his hands slowly down his tired face. It was purely conjecture at this point but if Tarashi really was Oshikake, then Midoriya and Uraraka were in far more trouble than he imagined. If they really have caught the attention of a highly successful kidnapper, Shouta needs to keep them as far away from her as possible which at least should be easier due to her explosion-induced injuries from this morning. There is one other thing that’s been plaguing Aizawa’s mind since he found out about all of skeletons Kotogotoshii High were hiding in the closet though;

Why would Nedzu let them into UA?

It doesn’t make any sense: if Shouta himself was able to uncover all of this information in one day, then surely Nedzu was aware of it. If that was case though, why didn’t he say anything about it? Why hasn’t he done anything about it? And why would he send Vlad and 1-B over there? For all of the rat’s sadism, the broken teacups and fucking NSSS Month, it still just doesn’t make sense. What on Earth was the principal getting out of this? There had to be some kind of motive.

Well, regardless of the rat’s reasons, it doesn’t change the fact that Aizawa’s patience has finally snapped. Right now, he wanted nothing more than to give his boss the middle finger and say “Fuck you and the tea you rode in on.” It doesn’t matter what the hell Nedzu has planned for the rest of the month, Shouta was not going to let anyone hurt his kids only longer.

It was time to kick these bastards out for good.

Chapter Text

--- day 6 ---

As a rich heiress, Yaoyorozu can say that she’s been exposed to a lot of things over the years. Don’t get her wrong; running in the social circles of the Yaoyorozu family certainly has its benefits, but it also comes with its fair share of elitists, classists and bigots. That wasn’t to say that wealth was any indicator of a person’s character but rather when large sums of money were involved, the belief that one should be entitled to “inherit the Earth” was somewhat of an inevitability when dealing with certain individuals. Thanks to growing up around this sort of behaviour, Momo could say that she had quite a high tolerance for irritating things. She’s learnt all of the compulsory pleasantries and handshakes, the stifling of anger in order to satisfy house guests. She’s learnt how to put on a pretty smile and mask her offence at the offhanded insults directed at her family or friends. She’s learnt how to maintain a clear head and tolerate just about anything that life could possibly throw at her.

Then, Yaoyorozu met class B.

Momo can quite honestly say that she has never wanted to ruin a group of people so much in her entire life and that’s saying something. She was willing to endure them at first; the snide remarks being directed to her classmates were nothing she was unaccustomed to. Their destruction of UA property had certainly irked her to no end but when their behaviour extended to threatening their own classmate and their teacher had felt it was acceptable to invade Midoriya’s and Uraraka’s privacy, – well, more so than she already had – Momo’s tolerance had well and truly come to end. Despite spending her life being conditioned not to enact revenge on people, that is certainly what she wanted to do right now. As it happened, Aizawa sensei had the same idea if the text she received last night was anything to go by. The message was quite simple; asking for her and Iida to schedule a class meeting this afternoon to plan an intervention of sorts. This was quite fortunate she thought; if the class were left in charge of an intervention, they would likely take…liberties during the planning. With Aizawa sensei in charge though, the planning was guaranteed to be rational and class B would likely not suffer any more than necessary.

So, this was how Yaoyorozu found herself with the rest of the class – including its honorary member – on a Saturday afternoon; waiting in the common room for Aizawa sensei to begin what was bound to be a logical and insightful meeting. Perfect. Several minutes later, the stoic man in question casually strolled into the room with his hands stuffed deep into his pockets and his signature capture scarf missing. The reason for its absence was revealed seconds later when Midoriya and Uraraka padded into the room looking more alive than they’ve been all week with it looped around their necks. The entire room brightened when the two of them give their characteristic sunny smiles. Iida immediately stormed towards them with his hands chopping maniacally.

“Midoriya! Uraraka! It’s good to have you back!”

“It’s good to be back!” They both chirp.

Just to the side of them, Yaoyorozu spied Aizawa trying to hide his smile in his capture weapon and subsequently flushing pink in embarrassment upon realising it wasn’t there. She really, really tried not to laugh at that but unfortunately, a small squeak escaped between the fingers covering her mouth and caught his raptor-like attention. She then received quite possibly the most brutal quirk-assisted glower known to mankind and swallowed back any remaining amusement with an audible gulp.

If looks could kill…

Clearing his throat to start the meeting, Aizawa sensei levelled the entire room with a much more subdued glare than the one he gave her but still ending the excited chatter in a second. “Before we start, I have some good news and bad news.”

The room tensed, “the bad news is that my investigation into Kotogotoshii High revealed some…unsavoury information including the fact that Otoko Tarashi may in fact be a suspected kidnapper by the name of Yuukai Oshikake.” The reactions to that were mixed; the majority of the class rearing up in unbridled anger while the remaining third or so, including herself, looked physically ill. Sighing at the varied looks of horror, Aizawa continued, “while this is nothing more than suspicion at the moment, I’d prefer to take caution. To that end, Midoriya and Uraraka will be staying in the teachers’ dorm with me until further notice and all of you are to keep your distance. if any of you happen to see any more examples of her obsessive behaviour, you are to tell me immediately.”

“As for the good news, thanks to Bakugou’s well-aimed AP shot yesterday morning and the fact that Recovery Girl cowardly ran awa- *cough* took a leave of absence, Tarashi will likely be recovering for the next few days well away from us.”

At the last statement, Midoriya and Uraraka both lit up like Christmas trees and with a dramatic hair tussling flip of their heads, stared right into Bakugou’s eyes. The blonde stared in confusion for a moment before his gaze hardened in realisation and he shot them a warning look,

“Don’t you fucking dare-“

Ignoring him completely, the two leapt forward and tackled him into a hug with so much force that he wheezed like a dying animal. Yaoyorozu smiled at the trio; despite all of Bakugou’s swearing and griping at the two for being “sappy pieces of shit”, it was pretty obvious that he was soaking up the gratitude like a sponge. Distantly, she saw Todoroki aggressively scrunch up a page of his notebook and toss it away with a huff.

Huh. That was weird.

After letting them have their moment, Aizawa sensei addressed the room once again, “now that any news has been taken care of, it’s time to start planning.” Instantly sobering up, all of class A met his charcoal gaze head on and watched with bated breath as he wheeled the communal whiteboard closer. He turned and pierced everyone with yet another glare, “I have given a lot of thought to the most rational way to approach this and so, with that said,” he gave a long pause for dramatic effect, “go nuts.”

Well then.

Not missing a second, Bakugou stalked up to the whiteboard and grabbed a marker and unscrewed the cap with more force than necessary. Aizawa gave him the most bored expression the universe has ever seen, “killing is off the menu. Too much paperwork.” The explosion user growled in frustration and threw the marker back at the board with a mutter of “stupid fucking legal shit” – because that’s the real problem with murder – and shuffled back to his seat between Midoriya and Uraraka. Over to her right, Momo thought she heard Shinsou and Tokoyami grouching about having to use a curse without a human sacrifice and shuddered. More disturbing than that however was that fact that no one else had moved up to the board after Bakugou implying that all of the ideas involved murder. That would, of course, include Yaoyorozu herself but let’s just…skip over that for now. Squashing that previous train of thought, Momo turned her attention back to the issue at hand:

How could they hurt class B without using violence?

A good question indeed. What action could they take that would remove class B from UA and be suitable payback without using force? It would have to involve demonstrating that 1-B weren’t heroes in a way that left no room for argument. So, maybe if a third party with higher authority taught them a lesson then, class A wouldn’t have to do anything. Wouldn’t have to do anything…wait… that’s it!

Clicking her fingers in a eureka-esk motion she smiled at the rest of the class and spoke. “I don’t think we actually have to do much at all if we want to get them out and destroy their reputations. We would just need evidence of their misconduct, wouldn’t we?”

“…I’m not sure we’re following Yaoyorozu,” Ojiro piped up.

 Midoriya looked at her from the side, realisation dawning on his face, “you’re suggesting that we let them continue their behaviour so they can ruin themselves.”

She nodded at him, “exactly. All we would need to do is record their actions and give the evidence to the police along with UA’s security camera footage. Although, if class A just so happens to make these scenarios a little more likely…”

“Well, if that’s what we wanna do,” Hagakure called out, “then we have exactly what we need!” she gestured suddenly to Kogane, her sleeves shaking with what must be a jazz hands sort of movement, “inside knowledge!”

Lighting up with her gossip face, Ashido pulled out a random microphone and thrust it into the blonde girl’s awkwardly blushing face. Speaking in a reporter tone of voice, she tilted the microphone back to her own mouth, “We’re here live with Akari Kogane, former member of Kotogotoshii High’s class B to give us a scoop! So, Ms. Kogane, what can you tell us about your classmates?”

Laughing sheepishly at Ashido’s antics and rubbing the back of her neck in a very Midoriya-like manner, Akari timidly leaned into the recording device, “well…if I were being generous, I’d say that they were very independent. If I were being less generous, I’d say that they were pretentious assholes. As for weaknesses, the main things they all lack are quirk control, team work and real-life experience. If we targeted those…”

Asui put a finger to her tilted chin, “showcasing their bad teamwork and lack of experience should be relatively easy during hero basic training, kero, but how would we make them lose control of their quirks?”

“That’s…a good question,” Kogan muttered. The class went quiet in thought at that, making motions very similar to Asui. Still, it wasn’t long before Midoriya and Bakugou simultaneously gasped and yelled “BP season!” causing half the class to jump back in shock.

Sero frowned, regaining his composure, “I’m sorry, BP?”

“Bakugou peppers.” Midoriya stated matter-of-factly.

“What the fuck are those?!”

Bakugou – now also wrapped in sensei’s scarf – sighed deeply, “alright, listen up you extras ‘cause I’m only explaining this once. As you know, chilli peppers are the third essence of life.”

“Uh huh….” Kaminari said, clearly not following at all.

“Well, one night, my family was making spicy curry but we couldn’t get the spiciness right with normal chillies. We then tried a Carolina Reaper, but it still wasn’t fucking hot enough.” He shook his head with an annoyed huff.

“It wasn’t hot enough.” Jirou parroted incredulously.

“Fuck no it wasn’t! Have you tried them?!”

“…”

“Anyway,” Midoriya picked up, “my mum knows a little bit about plants and suggested that Auntie Mitsuki – that’s Kacchan’s mum – make a hybrid out of a Carolina Reaper, a Trinidad Moruga Scorpion and a 7 Pot Douglah to breed a stronger chilli. She did and after a few months, the Bakugou pepper was born! They’re in full season this time of year.” The class cringed at the thought of a hotter pepper.

“They’re fucking beautiful,” Bakugou said with a nostalgic look, puffing his chest out like an emperor penguin.

“That’s evil!” Sero screeched.

Midoriya laughed nervously, “ah, yes. They kind of are actually.”

“Dude, that’s so manly!”

“Revelry in the dark.”

“Guys, are we just gonna ignore the whole Zen mode thi- oh, wait. Wrong conversation.”

Ignoring the chatter, Uraraka’s brows scrunched in genuine confusion, “hold on, I thought Aizawa sensei said killing was off the menu.”

“Oh, please,” Bakugou scoffed, “the most damage they can cause is vital organ failure. Nothing life threatening.”

A few people recoiled while Momo shot a pleading look to Aizawa who just shrugged and said “There are willing donors.”

Well, alright then.

“Moving on,” Aizawa continued, completely deadpan, “we need to decide how to destroy them during hero basic training. Our next heroics lesson is on Tuesday so we have three days to decide.” A sinister grin overtook his features, “So, go beyond, Plus Ultra.” Inspired by the thought of causing yet more harm, class A copied his grin perfectly and shouted the motto back with raised fists. Yaoyorozu smiled as well; this meeting was not what she thought it would be but they’ve certainly made progress. That said, she almost felt bad for what was going to happen to 1-B after this meeting was over.

Almost.

Chapter Text

--- day 8 ---

Kirishima was feeling quite concerned right now.

To his credit, there were a lot of things to be concerned about. There was a constant fear of Bakubro’s Zen mode going off again for a start. Thankfully, his assault of Tarashi seemed to have quelled his Disney princess urges – which are creepy as fuck by the way – so, Eijiro supposes he can rest easy on that front for now. Then, finding out Tarashi was probably a kidnapper was quite a doozy; not unexpected, sure, but still not manly in the slightest. Next on the list of concerns came the long list of revenge plots that class A had in store for class B. Yeah, Kirishima will admit he took part in that planning, but he wasn’t intending to go too overboard; they’re still people at the end of the day. Though, if what he was observing right now was any indication of the suffering they would face, then his efforts to soften the blow may be rendered meaningless…

So, that of course, lead to his current and by far the largest worry on the list. Namely, watching Bakubro and Midobro putting on hazmat suits in the common room with a radioactive product carrier on the floor between them. It was super manly that they were getting along well and all but the effect was definitely lessened by the suits. If there was one other thing Kirishima has learnt about his two bros, it’s that the two of them were absolutely deadly when they were thinking on the same wavelength – however occasional that was – and once again, the suits were not helping. Trying his best to ignore the hazmats for now, he decided to ask about the contents of the carrier instead.

“Oh, this?” Midoriya said stretching an elbow-length glove up his arm and letting go with a ‘slap’, “we have all of Auntie Mistuki’s BPs in here!”

“All of them?!”

“Calm down Shitty Hair, the old hag asked me to make a syrup out of ‘em so we can use it at home. We’re not gonna use all of it on class B.”

Eijiro sighed deeply, putting a hand to his heart, “thank God. Although, I was kinda hoping to see one, you know?”

“A BP?” Midoriya asked with his lost kitten look, “I have a picture on my phone if you want to see. Here.”

Taking the offered phone, Kirishima stared at the very strange image being displayed on its screen. Pictured in the middle of a white background was a lone pepper about the same size as his index finger. Its skin was thick and consisted of a deep black colour that had little sparks of light highlighting its many ripples and wrinkles. The entire chilli looked unnervingly similar to a swollen and broken limb; angry, painful and just overall agony. By far the most disturbing characteristic though was the bright red pattern printed across the pepper’s plump body that was somewhat akin to Bakubro’s scowl. It was as if someone had pissed off a Jack o’ lantern and then tattooed its rage face directly onto the chilli with a branding iron. The whole appearance just had this “don’t fuck with me” vibe. It was, without a doubt, the most furious looking capsicum he has ever laid eyes on.

And they were going to put it in class B’s dinner.

Before he could voice any objections to this plan, Bakugou and Midoriya had already made their way into the kitchen, now fully kitted up in protective gear. Almost as an afterthought, Katsuki leaned out of the closing kitchen door and faced him, his voice muffled through the helmet.

“Shitty Hair. If some steam happens to escape, whatever you fucking do, don’t. Breathe. It. In.”

Kirishima stared at the kitchen door as it slammed shut in abject horror and screamed “What the hell will it do?!” at them to no avail.

As it turned out, he didn’t have to wait long to figure out what the steam – which looked a lot like Midnight’s quirk actually – would do if someone inhaled it. Shortly after the kitchen door was closed, Shinsou wondered into the common room to perform his daily banquet of darkness and happened to take a breath of the fumes that were wafting throughout the dorm. At first, nothing happened but within seconds, Shinsou started acting like Bakugou during one of his fits of anger; growling and screeching very…creative insults. Obeying the fate of his hardening quirk, it was inevitably Kirishima himself who had to restrain the rampaging Shinsou from destroying the entire building thanks to that rage-inducing smog. After several hours of holding back yet more unfortunate souls who breathed it in and warning the more fortunate souls of its after effects, the gas dissipated and gave way to a heavily boiled down, furious looking, blood-red chilli syrup.

A sample of said syrup – which Bakubro had named “the elixir of life” – was now in Eijiro’s uncertain hands, contained within a rather befitting ornate chalice and poised above the curry that was soon to be class B’s dinner. The curry itself was a bad enough omen as it was, you know, considering that the last curry to have entered this lunch room ended up planted into the acne guy’s face – who’s acne was now far worse – after Bakugou went psycho. So, if there was ever a time that Kirishima felt uncertain about his life choices, it was in this very moment. Flicking his head back to the rest of his class who were hiding out in the kitchen after “disposing” of Lunch Rush for the night – whatever that meant – he whisper-yelled at them for an explanation.

“Why on Earth am I the one doing this?! It could be literally anyone else!”

“Because,” Ashido whispered back incredulously, having already explained this several times, “you are like sunshine incarnate Kiri! If you poison someone, no one will suspect you! You are literally the best choice for this so be a man!”

Hearing the secret bro word, he turned back to the food with renewed confidence and prepared to pour it in, acknowledging Midoriya’s mutter of “just a teaspoon or so” from behind him. Just as he went to put it in though, he happened to get a whiff of the sudden onslaught of spice and wetly sneezed into the curry with a disgusting slobbering sound and an equally disgusting sniffle.  

Ashido gasped in horror, “Kiri, you didn’t.”

“It’s manly to sneeze!”

“I’m talking about the chillies!”

Staring down at his empty hands, his face pinched with confusion at her explanation.  Embarrassingly, it took several minutes for him realise that empty hands meant that the elixir was now…somewhere else. Where could it have possibly gone though? Searching frantically around the kitchen and his personal effects, he still couldn't find it. It has to be here! I must have dropped it when I sneezed so where-  he suddenly froze when the realisation dawned on him. Turning to face the strange bubbling sound behind him, he just spotted the handle of the goblet seeping into the curry with an ominous gurgle not too unlike a witches cauldron.

Well, shit.

For a moment, all was silent as Kirishima stared at the simmering red bubbles left in the pot after everything fully submerged. He should probably be worried about snot-balling into their dinner but something is telling him that that is the least of class B’s concerns right now. To be fair, the elixir will likely kill the bacteria; that’s probably the only good thing that it will do. Dread slowly, but surely creeping in, he turned back to the class with a deathly pallor and manly tears in his eyes. Eijiro pressed both hands to his mouth and cried out in existential anguish.

“What the hell do we do?!”

Bakugou stared back with a determined gaze, “we watch.” To the blonde’s left, a giggling Todoroki flipped his notebook around with the words “and we laugh” and to his left, Kogane pulled out her own conspiracy journal – thanks to Todoroki’s corruption – with “hard” written in cursive. Kirishima just sighed at the unhelpful sentence but had to quickly stifle any proper response and duck out of sight as their victims came over to serve themselves dinner.

Kirishima watched each person grab a large bowl of curry – astoundingly, no one got the chalice – with mounting horror. Last in line was Shikke and despite not knowing class A was hiding behind the kitchen counters, still had something pretentious to say, “Let us hope that this dish is more satisfactory than the braised scallops with charred leeks and onion broth. Though, everything in this…institution is second rate at best.” All of 1-B chuckled at his statement, sitting themselves down at the one correctly oriented table in the still destroyed cafeteria.

Honestly, the room looked like it had just scraped by an apocalypse with the amount of carnage that was evident. There were even some of Yaoyorozu’s cannon balls embedded in the walls next to their table and up to Kirishima’s right, there was a very Howitzer looking burn mark. The fact that the Kotogotoshii High students were all pristine as always and sipping their drinks from wine glasses did not make the room look classy in the slightest. Just as Shikke sat down, Kiwoushinau decided to raise a toast of, “to the blessed absence of the class A rats and the filthy Kogane! Cheers!” earning clinks all round.

Alright, maybe Kirishima felt a little better about ruining dinner now.

Just before the first bite of curry was taken, Todoroki and Kogane donned matching tinted sunglasses and started munching on bags of pre-made popcorn. He raised a stunned brow at them to which they gave a conspiracy theorist styled tilt of their glasses and simultaneously said “want some?”.

“So manly…” he whispered back, accepting the additional bag of popcorn that was tossed his way. The rest of the class, even Aizawa sensei, quickly followed suit just in time for class B to taste their doom. Unsurprisingly, it was Yowamushi who reacted first, leaping from his seat with so much force that the chair clattered to the ground with a loud ‘bang’. The scream he gave when he sprinted from the room was high enough to crack some of the windows and probably would have tipped off the rest of his class to the danger if they weren’t already so used to the racket. So, in a slightly more sinister version of “The Boy Who Cried Wolf”, they all kept eating. It wasn’t long before the entire room broke out in pained screams – even the cockroaches screamed astoundingly – and people dropping to the floor and writhing like…well, dying cockroaches. Except the quintuplets who literally withered and shriveled up like the dead plants they were.

Eyes streaming rapidly with tears, Seburu dramatically fell to her knees as if witnessing the death of her entire family – okay, fair – and screeched “WHY IS THERE NO GODDAMN MILK?!”

*SLUUUUUUUUURP*

All bloodshot and weeping eyes flicked to Sero sitting casually on the kitchen counter and watched as he took a drawn-out sip of a milkshake through a foot-long curly straw. Making eye contact with each and every one of them, Sero smiled and said, “what do you mean? There’s milk in here,” and returned to his milkshake, slurping even louder. By this point, Todoroki had started full-on cackling like a demented Nedzu but this unfortunately told Tsubaku, who was the only one yet to eat the curry, where the responsible party was hiding.

“Which one of you *spit* did this?!” he shrieked incredulously. Like a true man, Kirishima immediately pulled his hands behind his back and whistled in a very suspicious manner.

The acne-ridden boy’s eye twitched in irritation, “I knew you *spit* rats were responsible! This is all *spit* YOUR fault!!”

In what was supposed to be an act of intimidation, the blonde nailed them with a glare and slammed his fist down harshly towards the table. Admittedly, it would have been intimidating if the guy didn’t miss the table he was aiming for. Instead, in what was quite possibly the greatest act of fate class A has ever seen, his fist came down on the edge of his plate and subsequently catapulted burning hot curry straight back into his face, receiving a much larger dose of the elixir than his classmates.

And.

He.

Screamed.

Ever the lover of food fights, Todoroki totally lost it at that, falling to the floor whining like a dying whale and spitting his popcorn all over Bakugou in the process, resulting in a shout of “Fucking hell IcyHot!”. The whale sounds very quickly morphed into something more akin to a cat chucking up a hair ball when he started choking on the one piece of popcorn he managed to keep in his mouth. The leader of the Bakusquad promptly started performing the Heimlich maneuver to save him, swearing all the while. Kirishima could only be pleased that Bakugou wasn’t having one of his Zen moments – he likely would have left the heterochromatic teen to die otherwise. Aizawa too seemed to be immensely enjoying the chaos as he soon started chuckling lowly like a Bond villain – and hey, when did when start stroking a cat? – in a way that will probably haunt 1-B’s nightmares for the rest of their stuck-up lives. All of class A had well and truly lost their sanity and were rolling on the floor wheezing with such a cacophony of sounds that it resembled rusty machinery combined with a flock of gobbling turkeys. Kaminari on the other hand had laughed so hard that he brain-fried himself and turned his special kind of stupid. Standing up suddenly with his dopey brain-dead smile, Kaminari whirled to face the dying class B with his thumbs up. and shouted over the wails in his loudest dumb voice,

“Yaaaay..! I looOve theE ElixERrr of LIiiiIiiiFFffFeeeEEe!”

Chapter Text

--- day 9 ---

Spending the afternoon deliberately seeking out death traps is not something Jirou ever pictured herself doing.

Well, UA is run by a sociopathic chimera so she supposes it isn’t that unusual, not in the grand scheme of things anyway. What was unusual about doing this today, was that this wasn’t planned during their plus ultra revenge meeting on Saturday. Today was supposed to be another cursed joint lesson between classes 1-A and 1-B but thanks to the elixir of life incident last night, class B had claimed that their, and she quotes, “safety had been compromised and they would feel safer staying away from the dangerous class A”. As if their acts of bastardry hadn’t already blown up an entire classroom and its occupants on the second day. It was infuriating but at least the class was able to document several accounts of bad quirk control for their “file of doom” to use later. Anyway, due to class B’s little statement of cowardice, they requested to have their heroics lesson in the USJ alone so they would be “safe”.

Which of course meant that class A would have to fix that.

It didn’t actually require too much re-planning at the sudden change in scenario. This was entirely due to the extensive knowledge that Midoriya and Uraraka had acquired during their daring escapades throughout the school. How said escapades lead them through the USJ at one point, which wasn’t even part of the campus, Kyoka had no idea. She also didn’t want to know why Nedzu in all of his intelligence had decided to place so many of them in a rescue centre. Maybe that was the reason why the ‘U’ in USJ stood for “unforeseen”. Still, thanks to the principal’s ingenuity and the map of traps that the tragic duo had drawn up, class A had a revenge plot at the ready even despite the change in plans. The idea now was to enter the death trap control room – because apparently there was one of those – and make the traps go haywire on class B while they were completing their 100% “safe” rescue exercises. In doing so, they would be able to record more evidence against the Kotogotoshii High students to give to the police. They would also have one more funny video to add to class A’s movie collection because who didn’t enjoy a bit of sadism on a Friday night. There was just one teensy problem that Jirou had with this virtually flawless plan.

It involved Kaminari.

That wasn’t to say that the blonde was completely incompetent; well, he made a good phone charger for a start. He could take down villains well enough when given instructions and he could deliver a lot of power before he turned brain dead… So, no, not incompetent just…a double-edged sword. Although, that wasn’t what was concerning Kyoka right now. What was concerning her right now was the fact that he was still being affected by his particularly bad brain fry last night and thus, his intelligence was way below his average lack there of. Considering that idiots and death traps don’t generally mix well, Jirou had already decided to prepare her obituary as well as the eulogy she wants Yaomomo to read when the time comes.  When, not if.

Approaching the control room, Kyoka risked a look back at her brain-dead companion who was chasing after a butterfly like a curious two-year-old. She sighed at his antics and called out to him, “hey uh, whatcha doing over there Chargebolt?”

“Yaaaay… a birdie..!” he zombie-moaned back, clearly not hearing a word she said. He then proceeded to trip on a rock – his “yaaaay” changing to a “whaaaay” – and step on a random rake, the handle rising up to meet his face with a sickening ‘crunch’ that may or may not have been his nose breaking. Kaminari stumbled back from the offending gardening tool – which Kyoka only now remembered was also one of Nedzu’s death traps – with a crooked nose and red bitch-slap mark from the handle, turning to face her with the world’s most confused expression.

Oh man, I am so fucked.

With any hope, his stupidity would also fuck over the rest of 1-B while he was at it. The only question that remained was if Jirou would live long enough to see that happen. Ignoring Denki for now, she turned away and examined the control room with a critical gaze. Situated in front of Kyoka and a little distance away from the main USJ dome stood a much smaller dome coated in a soulless, matte black paint. Despite the sunny weather outside, not a single ray of sunlight reflected off the spherical structure almost as if it was sucking the light straight out of the sky. Around the perimeter of the building were eight spindly protrusions that stabbed into the ground, giving it the overall appearance of a ten-foot tall, spider. By far the worst feature of the dome was the giant, mechanical rat eye that stood smack-bang in the middle of it, staring down at Jirou with a piercing glare that would make Aizawa’s look pleasant by comparison. Honestly, it would not be surprising in the slightest if this…thing just uprooted itself and went on a killing rampage across all of Japan accompanied by Nedzu’s tea-spilling cackle. Knowing the principal, it just might.

Jirou really didn’t want to go into this thing, particularly if it housed the controls for several death traps within its soul-sucking walls. Actually, how did you get into this thing? As far as she could tell, the dome didn’t have any doors or hatches or any other sort of entry point. There was a solitary window but…that was directly underneath that freaky eyeball. So, no- just, no. She absolutely, 100%, did not want to know what would happen if that window was broken.

“There has to be something else…” she muttered to no one in particular, “you can’t just have a control room with no way in. I mean, there is that window but I only want to break that as a last resor-“

“-Yaaaay… I broke the window..!”

Never mind.

Kyoka watched with disbelief as Kaminari scaled the perfectly smooth building – really, how the fuck was he doing that? – and stumbled in through the now broken window. She was seconds away from following him in, albeit reluctantly, but immediately froze upon realising that the eyeball had actually watched him enter the building. As if sensing her own thoughts about going in, the eye audibly flicked back to look at her causing her to assume a shaky fighting stance. She internally scoffed at her reaction – if this building decided to kill her, she wouldn’t stand a chance anyway. With a life-weary groan, Kyoka strolled up to scale the building herself, muttering a brief “excuse us” to the eyeball in the hopes of appeasing it.

This better be worth it.

The interior of the building was actually quite plain compared to the outside. In the middle of the far wall was a control panel full of every movie villain cliché that Jirou could think of. There were about a thousand different little flip-switches on the left-hand side of the table with unlabelled functions. On the right-hand side sat a very suspicious looking digital timer – which hadn’t started counting down yet thankfully – which was attached to one red wire and one blue. Lastly, in the middle of the table sat a huge, glowing red button in a plastic case with the words “don’t push” written across the middle of it.

Kyoka already wanted to push it.

Hearing a giggle a little to her right, she turned around to spot Denki – she keeps forgetting about him – staring fixedly at a large flat screen TV off to the side of the control panel which seemed to be playing and simultaneously recording camera footage of the USJ’s inner entrance. The inner entrance where 1-B were all gathered and listening to Shikke give a grand opening speech, the others lapping it up as if he were some kind of deity. Pompous fuckers. Jirou was so ready to traumatise these bastards but she needed something really good to start. Something to put them on edge for the doom to come.

Oblivious to her inner deliberating, Kaminari leaned into a small microphone underneath the TV which was apparently connected to some speakers in the USJ and promptly screamed “Look at all the little aaAAaAnnNNttTSsSS!” into it with his dopey voice.  Jirou quickly covered her mouth and choked back laughter at the random creepy shit that just came out of Denki’s mouth. On screen, she watched all of 1-B practically piss themselves, their yelps of surprise coming in through the control room’s speakers. Seeing that, her thoughts from earlier popped back into her head;

Idiots and death traps don’t mix.

A feral grin spread across her face as she rubbed her hands together in anticipation. Oh, this would be fucking perfect.

“Hey, Kaminari-“

“AaAAaAnnNNttTSsSS!!!!”

“Ka-kaminari,” she tried again through her amused tears and choking noises, “come he- come here a sec.” Grabbing the back of his shirt, she guided him over to the control panel.

“Play with ants?!” he said, lighting up like a kid with a lollipop.

Any further words Kyoka may have said shrivelled up and perished at that; her competent thoughts easily being overrun by the keyboard mashing that was now occupying her brain. Knowing she wouldn’t be able to speak in this state, she just gave him a shaky thumbs up and proceeded to die on the floor.

…

He went completely bonkers.

Within seconds, he started flipping every possible switch he could get his fingers on and the room filled up with the corresponding ‘clicks’. Turning back to the screen, Jirou watched as a giant swinging axe came down from the ceiling and headed straight for the unsuspecting class B. Hearing the loud ‘woosh’ of momentum coming towards them, Yowamushi spotted the axe and showcased his amazing voice talent through a high F sharp. Learning their lesson from the curry incident, the rest of 1-B showcased their unamazing voice talent in an attempted F sharp and sprinted towards the central plaza, dodging the circular saws that erupted from the floor and trampling each other in the process. Clearly, the principal was a huge James Bond fan going by the traps. Now that Kyoka thought about, that provided a lot of unwanted insight into the psychotic rat’s mind.

Reaching the plaza, the whole class was experiencing a collective mental collapse, gasping and weeping like the world was ending. It was quite a pitiful sight if she was being honest; the same kind of “aww, how sad!” pity you might give to an annoying toddler. Now, Jirou may have usually shown mercy after seeing something like this but this time, she was having way too much fun to care. Instead, like a responsible hero, she looked at Kaminari and started whooping and cheering. With the next flip of a switch, a giant stone boulder – Nedzu was evidently an Indiana Jones fan too – emerged near the fire zone and began a physics-defying roll towards the dying class B. Not wasting a second, they all dove straight into the shipwreck zone with an ear-piercing wail only to start sinking because they all couldn’t fucking swim.

Goddamn it.

Class A didn’t really want them to die – alright, maybe a little bit – so this of course meant Kyoka had to bail them out of trouble somehow. Thankfully, even in his brain-dead state, Kaminari also seemed to sense their trouble and flipped some more switches, somehow – really, how was he more talented in stupid mode? – draining the entire shipwreck zone like a giant flush of a toilet. Turns out that analogy was actually quite accurate as moments later, a large mass of toilet paper fluttered down from the ceiling and stuck to the now not-drowning class B. There were no physical casualties from that brief incident but they definitely lost a few people back there. By this point, Jirou was confident that any more psychological torture would be considered abuse – don’t worry, attacking people with saws and boulders is not abuse – so she was content to let them be. There was just one tiny problem with doing that.

She wouldn’t get to press the red button.

Would it be excessive? Yep.

Would it be heavily immoral? Oh, definitely.

Should she press it anyway? Hell. Fucking. YES.

…

So, press it she did, immediately losing her balance as the floor began to rumble and shake. Looking out of the broken window from earlier, Kyoka realised that the control room had uprooted itself from the grass and began spider marching straight towards the main USJ dome and the terrified 1-B inside, automatically playing a recording of Nedzu’s tea-spilling cackle. At the sound of the cackle, Kaminari finally came back to himself and screamed like a crowing rooster as the words “killing rampage” flashed across the flat screen TV. Jirou just laughed at the oncoming chaos.

She just knew the dome would do this.

She fucking knew it.

Chapter Text

--- day 10 ---

Ashido loves gossip. Seriously, she would just up and die if the rumour suddenly stopped turning. Besides that, listening in on the various throw-away comments that left peoples’ mouths was actually quite an effective method of information gathering. When you combined it with scouring newspapers and social media, you could gather enough information to classify it as underground hero work. Mina could only conclude from this that gossiping behind peoples’ backs was, in fact, very heroic. No doubt about it. Anyway, thanks to her “heroic” actions, Ashido had learnt some rather…interesting facts about yesterday’s events.

1. Jirou and Kaminari came back to the dorms late last night and it was rumoured they were laughing into tea – very suspicious indeed. The tea laughs implied corruption of the worst kind.
2. That same night, there were multiple sightings of a giant spider rampaging throughout Musutafu from which tea cackling was clearly heard – that was rather incriminating evidence if Mina was being honest. Although, it could just be Nedzu going on one of his regular tormenting sprees so…maybe not
3. Class B haven’t gone anywhere near class A since yesterday and kept muttering about a giant spider – okay, yeah, there’s definitely a thing here

So, her conclusion from this research? Jirou and Kaminari had been lost to the dark side and had done something very Nedzu-ish yesterday. It was only a matter of time really – all of class A had been turning into mini-Nedzus lately – but everyone thought for sure that Todoroki would go first. He already had the evil laugh down pat, after all. Still, the duo’s corruption happened to work in everyone’s favour; class B will likely never harass them again. Unfortunately, this didn’t account for all of their unwanted guests. No, Stalker sensei still remained relatively unharmed and her recovery from the AP shot had been going well recently.

This could not be allowed to stand.

The captain must go down with the ship as they say. So, the class had turned to Mina in all of her gossiping glory to find the weaknesses of this woman so that class A could exploit them. It wasn’t easy of course; with someone shady like Tarashi, gossip was always that much harder to find. Thankfully, class A’s newest addition had some inside knowledge and Ashido knew all the right questions to ask but this also meant that poor Akari had been grilled for hours. It was a necessary sacrifice though and one that did ultimately glean results, however strange they were. Apparently Tarashi had a very…odd fear.

She was terrified of cows.

The fear itself wasn’t particularly strange; Mina was sure that lots of people out there would be scared of bovines, they could be downright creepy sometimes. What was strange about it was that they were in Musutafu, a city that last time Ashido checked, didn’t have any cows to speak of. So, Mina had absolutely no idea when or where this woman had the time to develop a phobia of the black and white mammals, but class A wasn’t picky. If she really was frightened of them, then they would milk it – pun very much intended – for all it’s worth. Partly because they needed to get revenge for the psychological torment she put Mido and Ochaco through and partly because they wanted more videos for their Friday night sadism collection.

The general plan of action against this woman involved leaving cow related items in every room she was likely to enter and enjoy the reactions. Step one was to target her temporary office where she was currently situated in, painting her nails with her feet up on the desk like she owned the goddamn place. All of 1-A scowled through the window they currently spying through; Tarashi’s “all is right with the world” aura pissing them off immensely. Oblivious to the expanding cloud of rage outside her office, she actually began to sing because she was so happy.

“Mido-chan and Ura-chan are mine, mine, mine~ Tomorrow they’ll be all mine~”

Ewwww, this is what she was so happy about?! OH, HELL NO!

Everyone immediately turned their gazes on the afore mentioned duo who were now pale and silently shaking, all of their earlier confidence completely forgotten. Mina was pretty sure the entire class went into Zen mode after seeing that – they would make this the worst day of Tarashi’s life.

Thankfully, they had just the thing to get the ball rolling.

Wrapping his scarf around the trembling teens once again, Aizawa sensei pulled a walkie-talkie from his pocket and whispered “Hagakure, it’s time. Bring in the curry,” through gritted teeth.

Yes, this was the very same curry that took out class B two days ago. However, this particular container of it had been…steeping in the fridge since that time so no one could accurately attest to its strength. That’s fine though; they had a perfect guinea pig for their “get well never” present right here. Ever the grudge holding type, Blasty – who was also keenly interested in how much stronger he could make the curry – had attached a sticky note to the container saying that this was a gift from that spitting Tsubaku guy. Lord Explodo-kills had actually spat on the sticky note Just to add authenticity and further frame the guy. Next, class A’s resident stealth expert, if you ignored the randomly floating food that is, Tooru was chosen to sneak the curry into the office and leave. Originally, this was just to get the woman out of the room so they could spice it up a little – damn, she was better than Togata – but now, they had very strong ulterior motives.

Spotting the deliberately placed lunch, Tarashi clapped her hands in glee, “Oh! I didn’t spot this before! What a lovely surprise~”

Oh, it will be a surprise all right.

Still very much oblivious to the large number of teenagers that wanted her dead, she just opened the container up and started stuffing her face like a fat pig, everyone in the class pulling out their phones to record it. The woman somehow managed to get half-way through the meal before the elixir’s effects began to show but when they did, oh man was it bad. Her lips actually inflated to double their size and turned a horrible blood red colour that almost matched that of the elixir itself. Even her eyes had swelled immensely, immediately streaming rivers of tears. Clutching her throat in agony, Tarashi let loose a guttural scream, hurled the curry straight out the nearest window and ran from the room. Thankfully, that wasn’t the window class A was watching through so they were free to laugh to their hearts’ content.

It seemed like someone wasn’t so lucky though as directly underneath the falling curry was none other than the acne-ridden Tsubaku. In yet another act of unforgiving karma, the boy looked up to find the source of the growing shadow at his feet and for the third time since entering UA, his face was once again met with burning hot curry. A chorus of pained “ooooohs” and “buuuuurrrrrns” circled around the class - except for Todoroki who almost laughed himself off the building - as the blonde fell to knees and wailed “WHYYYYYY?!” in existential anguish. Honestly, this guy had the worst fucking karma Mina has seen in her entire life; she actually felt kinda sorry for him. Still, 1-A had a mission to accomplish and technically – if you really stretched the meaning of the word – this was not class A’s fault so they’d just have to leave him. Wiping a stray manly tear from his eye, Kiri offered the blonde a consolatory salute and whispered “it was for a good cause bro." That was about the best Tsubaku was gonna get.

Following the "curry of life incident 3.0", class A piled in through the window to begin decorating. Considering Todoroki was able to revamp his entire room in just one night, he was chosen to be the main interior designer this time as well. However, it seemed everyone had underestimated how much he wanted to max out Endeavour’s credit card seeing as he had a whole store’s worth of cow merchandise. He really had it all; from bovine themed rugs, mugs with shitty puns and even a life sized plush, there was enough to redecorate all of UA if they felt like it. As for how on Earth he managed to carry all of this up to the window in the first place, no one knew and no one asked.

“Alright,” Mina sang, rubbing her hands together, “time to get to work people!”

So, get to work they did, replacing everything in the room with alarming speed. Mina snorted as she replaced a fancy painting with a black and white picture with the words “I love moo!” written on it, complete with a cow blowing a kiss. Where the hell did he buy this shit anyway? In the corner of her eye, she saw Todoroki wrestling the jumbo plush into Tarashi's desk chair as Shouji used his many arms to replace the rug with a fake cow skin. Within five minutes, the entire room was fit for the biggest cow lover on the planet and class A had quickly filed themselves out as if they had never been there to begin with. Just as Ashido went to leave however, she caught sight of Bakugou rifling through Tarashi’s handbag like a scavenging Pomeranian.

“Blasty, what are you doing? We have to go!”

“Shut up Horns,” he snarled back, “I’m busy.” Finally, his rummaging stopped when he ripped out what looked to be the woman’s makeup removers. With a deranged grin overtaking his face, he pulled a small eyedrop looking bottle from his pocket which contained some sort of bright red liquid.

Mina gasped in realisation, “that’s-”

“The elixir of life,” he finished, rubbing the elixir into the removers, “I wanted to test its cosmetic effects.” He gave a satisfied huff as he put the tampered products back into the bag. Storming out the door, he started muttering lowly under his breath at a volume that Ashido was only just able to catch.

“That’ll teach her not to fuck with Deku and Pink Cheeks.”

Mina grinned proudly at him.

Now safely back in the dorms, the class was gathered around the common room TV watching the security feed from Tarashi’s office. It wasn’t long before the teacher in question came into the room looking absolutely miserable with fat, clown-like lips and thin trails of mascara outlining all the little curves and imperfections on her face. It was as if an eager toddler had discovered their parent’s makeup kit and decided to draw a picture of rain falling on an over-inflated football with it. It was pretty gross to look at; makeup artists might actually die upon seeing this. Mina and Bakugou shared a brief smirk at the sight; it was gonna get so much worse when she tried to wipe it off.

Thanks to her puffy eyelids, she remained unaware of the altered room until she pulled out her desk chair and found the life size plush staring right back. With a piercing screech, she stumbled back and crumpled to the floor, only now seeming to take in the state of the room. Tarashi stared at the cow pictures adorning her walls as if they were going to come to life and shrank into the floor even further, a mooing alarm clock going off as she covered her ears. Upon realising she was really sitting on a faux cow skin rug, she leapt up with a yelp of “they’re coming for me again!” – whatever the fuck that meant – and bolted from the room, grabbing her bag of the plush's lap on the way.

Oh, but class A weren’t done with the cows yet.

Later that night, 1-A found themselves positioned outside yet another window. More specifically, they found themselves outside Tarashi’s dorm window. Even more specifically, they were outside donned in cow head masks and holding baseball bats, picking the lock on her window. It was finally time to avenge the leaders of the Dekusquad. They actually looked pretty cool right now with sensei's capture weapon flowing in the wind. With a satisfying final click, the window was unlocked and Tarashi – who’s entire face was now red and swollen thanks to the “removers of life” – swung the curtains open and came face to face with 22 very threatening cow-headed people. She may have gone pale at the sight if her face wasn’t so discoloured but she certainly did break out in a cold sweat. Everyone grinned underneath their masks as they stared the woman down. Then in perfect unison, they raised their bats and sung out in a mockery of Tarashi’s sickly sweet tone;

“Good evening Tara-chan! We were finally able to unlock your window, isn’t that great~”

It was later rumoured that all of Musutafu heard her scream that night. 

Chapter Text

--- day 12 ---

Things had finally been looking up recently. Miraculously, all of their plus ultra revenge plots had gone off without a hitch and achieved the desired results. That is, class A were successfully able to record the many ways in which Kotogotoshii fell short in the heroics department as well as captured their petty crimes including illegal quirk usage and property damage. As an added bonus, all of class B were so scarred by what had happened over the past few days that they hadn’t even tried to go near class A, particularly after whatever the hell Kyoka and Kaminari had done during the USJ incident 2.0. Thanks to this, everyone had decided to give B class a day off from the attempts being made on their life yesterday. Although, their dorm was under strict guard with Todoroki – in full secret agent mode – strolling around the perimeter with tinted sunglasses. Just to rub salt in the wounds, he had a mini speaker in his pocket that was playing continuous cow sounds to prevent Tarashi from even thinking of escape. While this day also doubled as a video editing session – to make sure nothing incriminated A class – most people spent it watching Todoroki in all of his mooing glory because it was probably one of the funniest things they had ever seen the stoic guy do. That was certainly what Uraraka spent the day doing; she filmed it too so everyone could laugh at it later. They also needed the day off so Tarashi’s chilli swelling would go down before what they had planned for today:

That is, their arrest of class B.

Earlier this morning, Aizawa sensei had told the Kotogotoshii High people that he wanted both classes to talk out their differences and put an end to all the animosity. Class B of course jumped at the chance; probably hoping that at the very least they could avoid coming in contact with the curry of life ever again. This offer however was one of Aizawa’s famous rational deceptions. They were bringing class B out to put an end to the hostility, yes but this had nothing to do with class discussions. What it did have to do with was a whole lot of police vans and handcuffs but class B didn’t need to know that.

So, that brought Ochaco to now; strolling happily towards UA’s front gate by Deku’s side and more than ready to put an end to this stupid school. 1-B still hadn’t uttered a word from where they were shuffling behind the much larger class A and Uraraka could definitely say she was enjoying the quiet for once. It was nice not having to deal with all of the chaos that had happened over the past week and half. Alright, maybe she enjoyed it a little; she had undoubtedly discovered her inner sadist during this month which was a fact that made her more than a little uncomfortable. It always made you feel a bit…edgy admitting you had an inner sadist that you were previously unaware of. Class B certainly brought out the worst in people.

Speaking of them…there was one other thing that was making Ochaco feel a bit edgy.

Away from the rest of the Kotogotoshii people was a significantly less swollen Tarashi who was currently hovering right behind her and Deku. To make matters worse, the woman seemed to be specifically targeting their blind spots so Uraraka couldn’t really get a good look; just little passing glimpses in the corner of her eye. She and Deku had tried quickening their pace but Tarashi had matched their speed exactly, the distance between them not growing in the slightest. It was taking immense self-control not to cry at how frightening that was. With a small bead of sweat cascading down her forehead, Uraraka met eyes with Aizawa sensei who thankfully seemed aware of the woman’s behaviour. Sending him an acknowledging nod, Ochaco squared her shoulders and turned to the police vans.

Hopefully Tarashi wouldn’t try anything.

Turning slightly to face the Kotogotoshii High students, Uraraka tried not to let her apprehension show. This was likely going to be the hardest part of their plan today. Leading class B to the police was quite easy but actually getting the cuffs on them and sending them away was probably going to prove itself difficult. If 1-A has learnt anything about their visitors in the past 12 days, it was that they were too proud to take commands from others, even authority figures. Having discussed this in depth yesterday, class A had decided to give them the benefit of the doubt when it came to the arrest today but were prepared to fight back if the situation required it. Uraraka side-eyed the other class with suspicion; it didn’t look as if they were planning to fight; they were all just standing there numbly. Still, she didn’t let her guard down, especially when they all began walking calmly up to the police. In one sudden and synchronised movement, class B lined up and held their wrists out, startling everyone in the process. For the first time since this month began, Shikke removed his smug expression, stared right at Tsukauchi and said “take us away. Please.”

Well. That was unexpected.

A little ways behind her, she could hear murmurs of the same thought radiate throughout her class. Aizawa sensei however looked disbelieving; his posture had definitely eased up but a ghost of a fighting stance still remained. The police in particular seemed a bit taken aback by the sudden declaration; it wasn’t everyday that a group of teenagers begged to be arrested after all. Thankfully, no one asked why they did. That would be very bad. At the front of the police group, detective Tsukauchi managed to school his expression into something professional and signalled for the other officers to take the pleading children into custody. That of course left one person from Kotogotoshii and Ochaco was certain this arrest wouldn’t be as smooth.

Upon seeing that all of the class B students had been safely loaded into the vans, Tsukauchi turned directly to the woman and stared her down, “Yuukai Oshikake, correct?”

As if on que, the woman in question inched ever closer to Uraraka’s back to have the brunette easily within arm's reach, likely preparing to make some kind of move. Next to Ochaco, Deku tensed and tugged his friend a little closer but once again, the woman followed their movements exactly and stayed close. They both swallowed uncomfortably at the woman's oppressive presence. The zero gravity user shivered as Tarashi’s humid sigh rolled down her neck.

Almost as if she was pleased by the unease, Tarashi smiled that sickly sweet smile and sung back to the detective, “I’m afraid that’s not my name~”

The detective smiled back, “are you aware of my quirk, Ms. Tarashi?” Thanks to the lack of distance, Ochaco felt Tarashi flinch at the emphasis on her surname. Not hearing a response, he continued, “my quirk let’s me know when a statement is true or false. What you just told me was a lie.” Tara- no, Oshikake shifted closer again. Deku reached out and gripped Ochaco’s trembling hand, pulling her closer agin to no avail.

Unaware of the kidnapper’s subtle movements, Tsukauchi pulled out a notepad with a soft sigh, “Ms. Oshikake, were you responsible for the disappearances of Sato Kiritake, Yukiha Sakakibara, Chika Watanabe…” Uraraka desperately tried to tune out the long list of names – the names of children – falling from the detective’s mouth. Instead, she was fixated on the way Oshikake’s shadow stretched over hers and Deku’s, consuming them and subsequently growing in size. Was this- was this what would have happened to her and her best friend? Would they just be swallowed up in some kidnapper’s shadow? Just two more names on a growing list? She winced and swallowed down that particular train of thought for now, clutching Deku’s hand a little tighter. With the other hand, she pulled Akari’s coin out of her pocket and squeezed it, smiling at the small glow it produced at the contact. Unfortunately, it didn't dispel the shadows.

When Tsukauchi finished listing the victims, the purple haired woman stayed quiet; her silence being just as good a confirmation as anything she could have said in response. The detective appeared to have come to the same conclusion as he spoke, “Yuukai Oshikake, I am arresting you on suspicion of orchestrating the Musutafu serial kidnappings. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law-“

“NO.”

"...excuse me?"

Everyone turned to face the criminal who continued to speak through hysteric laughter, “You can't arrest me... you just don't understand…” the woman stumbled closer and lurched toward the duo, “THEY BELONG TO ME!”

In just one second, everything seemed to happen at once.

Ochaco watched in some sort of strange slow motion as Deku immediately lit up in bright, flashing bolts of his characteristic green lightning and leapt back, taking her with him. Aizawa sensei’s scarf flared to life, illuminated slightly by his glowing eyes as Kogane leapt forward with shining eyes of her own and yelled “throw it now!” Not wasting a moment, Uraraka twisted slightly in Deku’s grip and hurled the coin as hard as she could with a scream of “GET DOWN!” to alert her classmates to the oncoming danger. Ochaco flinched as UA’s entrance area quite literally exploded with a sun-like – Akari really wasn’t kidding about how powerful her quirk was – flash of light, wrenching a piercing shriek of “MY EYES!” from Oshikake and…Kaminari? Opening her eyes with a groan as the spots cleared, Uraraka searched for the blonde and sure enough, there he was rolling in the dirt in agony, clutching his face and crying in pain. Next to him, Kyoka was also rolling in the dirt with tears streaming down her face, although her actions were caused by amusement at pain.

Somehow unfazed by the pandemonium, Tsukauchi just strolled calmly up to the now writhing criminal, cuffed her and pulled her up while continuing his speech as if nothing happened. He must have seen some really weird shit in his lifetime if this didn’t bother him. Also unfazed, Akari offered a comforting smile in Ochaco's direction, her eyes glowing and seeming to absorb some of the sunlight. The brunette blinked in surprise; she didn't know her quirk could do that. Next to her, she could hear Deku muttering theories about it, miming a writing motion with his hand. Uraraka snickered a little at his enthusiasm but was interrupted by the pair of blondes currently approaching.

“So,” Kogane began, walking closer with Bakugou trying his hardest to shove in front of her, “was it heads or tails?”

“Huh?” Deku said, finally coming back to reality.

Bakugou gave an irritated 'tch' and rolled his eyes, “fucking muttering Deku. I’ll do it myself.” With a huff, he stalked over to the offending object, snarling a quiet “fuck it” at the heads it was displaying. Turning to Akari, he slapped several bills into her eagerly waiting hand.

She smirked at him, “Oh Blasty, I’ve been flipping coins since I was four,” before coolly strolling away and shoving the money in her pocket. Bakugou scowled at her retreating back with sparking hands and screeched “THERE’S STILL AN EQUAL FUCKING CHANCE!!” but she just ignored him and kept walking. Ochaco raised a confused brow at the odd…friendship? – is that what that was? – before all but collapsing in relief and hugging Deku.

They had finally done it.

They had gotten rid of Kotogotoshii High for good.

Chapter Text

--- day 12 ---

As a teacher, Shouta can say that destroying the lives of children is not something he enjoys doing. That isn’t to say he lacks the stomach for it, not at all. As someone who has single-handedly dished at hundreds of expulsions and crushed the dreams of children who want nothing more than to be a hero, he can definitively say that he has the stomach for it. With each disappointed face and every saddened tear of an expelled student, he’s become pretty hardened over the last few years. That’s why, while watching all of class B being herded into police vans with cuffs on their wrists, he can’t say he’s particularly mortified with himself for causing this. This is like expulsion in a way, he supposes – a way to ensure that more kids won’t walk into the heroics industry with their heads held so high that they can’t see the dangers that hide in their shadows. It’s also a way to ensure that they’re not so stuck-up that they feel like they can do anything and get away with it because that inevitably leads to the petty villainy that Kotogotoshii is so well known for producing. So, he thinks, even if it takes a few nights in a cell and the black mark that comes with being arrested, they’ll all be better off for it. They may have also been better off without 1-A’s plus ultra revenge plots, but hey, details.

At the same time, there is some twisted little part of Aizawa’s mind that is currently smiling at their retreating backs and saying “good fucking riddance.” That’s probably the mother hen part – yes, I’m actually admitting it Hizashi – that’s been clucking and squawking ever since these interlopers walked in. Quite possibly the most satisfying part of this ordeal is the fact that he was able to put an end to NSSS Month over two weeks early and ruin the rat bastard’s fun. A close second is the way Oshikake is glaring at him with bloodshot eyes and pursed swollen lips as she’s being dragged away by Tsukauchi. He smirked and waved at her as she was shoved past, relishing in the way she growled like a rabid dog. Now that was one person who deserved everything that 1-A did.

Good fucking riddance to her too.

Though, his satisfaction faltered a little when he saw Kogane staring at her class and teacher being taken away with a strangely distant expression on her face. It was strange seeing her look so inanimate after everything that happened. Sensing his gaze, she slowly turned to face him, her eyes lacking their usual ethereal glow, “You’re…not arresting me. Why not?”

He shook his head a little at the suspicion written into her face, “I investigated Kotogotoshii High in depth before this arrest which included scouring through a lot of restored security camera footage. In all of my searching, I never once found any evidence of illegal quirk usage in regards to you, so technically there’s no crime to arrest you for. Also, I know for a fact that you never participated in any of the harassment that was instigated by your class.”

She stared firmly into his charcoal coloured gaze with her mouth pressed into a thin line, “technically..?” she prompted.

“Yes,” he confirmed, “while you didn’t directly course any harm to any students or property while you were at Kotogotoshii, you were witness to several of your classmates’ crimes and didn’t report it. That did result in harm.”

She flinched at the words, “but there was no one I-“

“You could have told the police. You could have told a pro hero. You could have even tried to discourage them yourself if the situation was safe enough to do so.”  Any further objections she had vanished at that.

“You said before that thinking you’re better than everyone else will get you killed but I will tell you now that complacency will get others killed. I’m not going to sugar-coat this for you; if you were in my class, that kind of behaviour would have gotten you expelled on the first day. Heroes don’t just let people get hurt, Kogane.”

Eyes dimming to a grey colour, she flicked her gaze down to the pavement with a crestfallen expression, “…no sir, they don’t.”

Out of all the hero hopefuls he’s lectured in the past about their potential, this may actually be the most unpleasant. Honestly, Shouta finds himself quite grateful for the young girl in front of him; she was the one who decided to look out for his class when he was visiting the police despite it going against everything she was raised to believe. To tell the truth, she’s already a hero in his eyes but as cruel as it may be, sometimes cutting someone down like this is the most effective way to make them spring back up again even higher. He needs this lesson to sink in. Besides, deliberately downplaying the situation to spare her feelings would be an insult to her character and her intelligence.

Glancing over to where Midoriya and Uraraka are hugging each other in relief at Oshikake’s disappearance, he continued to speak. “With all that said though,” she gradually followed his gaze, “detective Tsukauchi was quite understanding of your unfair circumstances at Kotogotoshii and seeing as one of my students recently moved up from general studies…”

It took a few seconds for the implication to hit and when it did, her eyes snapped back up to him with some of the radiance returning, “you’d…let me stay at UA? Really?”

He nodded, “I’d have to talk to the principal but he shouldn’t have a problem with it. You have the passion and drive to be a hero Kogane, and your actions over the past few weeks have protected my class in more ways than one. If you can show me that you’ve learnt from your mistakes and you continue to improve, then I see no reason to make you leave.”

For quite a few minutes she just stared at him with wide eyes, her jaw a little slack from the shock. Then, in perhaps the largest display of emotion Shouta has seen from the girl, Akari beamed at him with brightly glowing eyes, tears pricking at the corners, “I’ll do my very best!”

“I certainly wouldn’t settle for anything less,” he deadpanned back with poorly masked fondness.

 With a hurried but very grateful bow, she sprinted over to Midoriya and Uraraka and tackled them into a three-way hug, her uncharacteristic childishness making him huff in amusement. Being a teacher definitely has its perks sometimes. Actually, speaking of teaching…

Shouta Aizawa had a mammal to interrogate.

Even though the ball was in his court so to speak, Aizawa couldn’t help the dread in his stomach that was growing with each echoing ‘clack’ of his shoes against the polished floor of UA’s halls. It makes sense, he muses; he is currently travelling to the very room that this whole debacle originated from. He cringes every time he remembers that teacup breaking and that single drop of tea falling on Nedzu’s shoe. That was probably one of the most horrifying moments of Shouta’s entire life, even as a pro hero. In fact, he would dare say that his has been the absolute worst NSSS Month – even though it wasn’t even a month – he has ever experienced in all his years at UA. He thinks so anyway; he can’t actually remember the others thanks to the PTSD. This time though, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to forget; also thanks to the PTSD.

“I might actually scream if I see another teacup…” he muttered to the empty hall, arriving at the principal’s office mere seconds later. He didn’t bother knocking before he entered.

“Ah! Shouta, I wasn’t expecting you today!” the principal chirped, tail wagging slightly.

“Like hell you weren’t – you have cameras covering every nook and cranny of this school. You knew I was coming the moment I stepped inside.”

Nedzu gave a non-committal hum, “Indeed I did,” a feral grin suddenly spread across the rat’s face, “would you like some tea, Shouta?”

You vindictive mammalian bastard.

“No, thank you,” Aizawa bit out, willing himself not to punt the sadistic creature out the window. Instead, he whirled around and slammed the office door shut with so much force that the teacup on Nedzu’s desk rattled in protest. Much to his disappointment, the rat didn’t flinch.

“Were you aware of the amount of villainy associated with Kotogotoshii High?” he snarled, still not turning around, “or maybe the fact that class B’s teacher was a serial kidnapper?”

With the same calmness that he displayed on the first day, Nedzu took a drawn-out sip of the tea and looked Aizawa dead in the eye, “yes, I was aware.” The blunt answer made Shouta’s skin crawl.

“And you let them in here.”

“That’s why I let them in here.” The confusion on his face must show because after a moment, the rat elaborated, “you are aware of my reputation when it comes to dealing with other schools on the wrong side of the law, yes? However, this particular school was quite adept at covering its tracks. So, in order to record their transgressions, I-“

“-Used class A as bait so that they would slip up,” Aizawa finished.

Nedzu took another slow sip of tea, “I suppose you could say that.” It was only immense self-control that stopped Shouta from strangling his boss right then and there. “I must admit I find your anger slightly confusing, Shouta. Was this not the same method that your class used earlier this week to gather more evidence?”

“We discussed that as a class and acted according to our own volition,” he spat, “there’s a big difference between that and forcing us into a situation where we would be deliberately targeted by Kotogotoshii High.”

The principal didn’t even respond to that; just gave another dismissive hum and took another sip of his goddamn tea. Shouta easily filled the silence with one particularly prominent question on his mind, “Why my class anyway? Was this just because I broke that cup?”

Nedzu placed the tea down on the table with a sigh and a soft ‘tap’, “that had nothing to do with it. For what it’s worth, I would have chosen your class for this regardless of your actions. It was, what would you say, a logical ruse?” Aizawa scowled at his own catchphrase.

“I trust you as a teacher and a hero Shouta and I knew you would deal with Kotogotoshii High quickly. That’s why I chose you for this. Besides which, I would never let any real harm come to a student or the school.”

Narrowing his eyes, Shouta levelled the principal with a challenging look, “look me in the eye and say that again.”

Nedzu simply stayed silent.  

“What about Vlad and our 1-B then? You sent them to a corrupt school full of up-and-coming villains and petty criminals, is that classified as “no real harm”?” He placed mocking finger quotes around the principal’s earlier phrasing. Aizawa honestly couldn’t care less about his rude behaviour towards his boss; frankly, the rat deserved it after everything that happened.

For a long time after, Nedzu just stared at him, expression completely unreadable. Just when Aizawa began to think that he wasn’t going to get an answer, Nedzu spoke, “…I sent Vlad and 1-B as guests to Shiketsu.”

With a dramatic groan and an eye roll, Shouta threw himself into one of the chairs in front of the principal’s desk, a bitter whisper of “of course you fucking did, of course,” escaping breathlessly from his scowling mouth. The principal just watched him stew for a few moments, examining him like a bug on a petrie dish.

“I will admit, I had an ulterior motive as well.”

Well, that had Shouta’s curiosity peaked. He lifted his head to meet the rat’s gaze head on, “and what would that be exactly?”

“I said before that I chose to use your class for this endeavour because I trusted you as a pro hero and a teacher,” Aizawa nodded slowly in confirmation, “well, there was a third factor in my decision.” Nedzu steepled his paws together softly and smiled, “your enjoyment of sadism.”

“I’m sorry, my what?”

“See, Shouta,” the principal began, leaping onto the table with his hand behind his back, “NSSS Month is a method I use to quell my boredom when it arises, but it gets rather lonely watching others suffer on your own.” Aizawa coughed to hide his laughter at the fake tears Nedzu was producing; this entire conversation was absurd. “But then, I saw you spill that tea two weeks ago and a wonderful thought occurred to me!”

Oh no… Shouta did not like where this was going.

“What I needed were others to enjoy the sadism with me! To that end, I had to create a situation that would motivate you and your class to act out in revenge and get a taste of chaos and sadism. Then, all I had to do was wait patiently until all of your mindsets converted to something similar to mine! Kotogotoshii High happened to need taking down so I freed two birds with one key so to speak. As for miss Kogane, she was an unpredicted bonus and due to her successful Nedzufication, she will be moving directly into class A from this point forward.”

Shouta reeled back with wide eyes, “please tell me this is a joke.” Nedzu just wagged his tail in response, slapping the table occasionally when a wag went too far. Biting his lip, Shouta looked out the window for a moment to let the information really sink in. Nedzu had played them all like a goddamn fiddle and all this time when Shouta thought he was ruining the rat’s grand plan, he was actually playing right into it. He even managed to unintentionally doom Kogane with his offer and that was apparently just a bonus to the rat. God, this mammal was fucking terrifying.

Rubbing his dry eyes tiredly, he shook his head in defeat, “you are evil.”

Seemingly pleased by the insult, Nedzu finished his tea and spoke again in a cheery tone, “believe me, I know.  Now then, since you have all bitten into the forbidden cheese,” Shouta cringed at the phrasing, “I have something to offer all of you. Consider it recompense for providing entertainment for the past 12 days. I believe you all may like it.”

Aizawa raised a solitary brow at the wicked grin on his boss’s face, “what exactly did you have in mind?”

Chapter Text

--- day 1 (the next month) ---

Present Mic was having a wonderful day.

The sun was shining in bright rays, the day wasn’t hot or cold, it was just…wonderful. Coming up to UA’s front gate with a yellow Hawaiian shirt billowing behind him in the wind along with his loose golden locks, he was feeling even greater. This was for a very simple reason; the dreaded NSSS Month was finally over. Now, Yamada could walk back into UA and continue teaching without any fear of whatever horrible thing Nedzu was cooking up. He would be able to see all of his fellow teachers again, he would get to see Shouta again – if he survived NSSS Month – and everything would just go back to normal. No intruders, no schemes, no food fights and explosions, just…normal. Hizashi has been looking forward to normality for a long time.

Upon finally reaching the front gate of the school however, Yamada felt himself pause and his smile slipped a bit. There was something…off about UA. To any outsider, the school would look and feel completely normal but to Present Mic who has known this place since he was a student, he could tell something was wrong. It wasn’t as if there was any damage or anything, or at least if there was, it wasn’t visible from the outside. It didn’t seem like there were intruders either… Maybe it was just his imagination? Well, Hizashi did just spend a whole month chilling out at the beach so he supposes that anywhere in Musutafu would seem iffy by comparison. It wasn’t exactly what you’d call a peaceful place.

Hearing footsteps behind him, Yamada whipped his head around to see a casually dressed All Might walking up to the gate with Eri’s drastically smaller hand enclosed in his. Even without the prior knowledge, Present Mic could tell exactly where the little listener had been; her pink “Wild Wild Pussycats” shirt and cat-ear headband being dead giveaways for who the little girl had spent the last month with. They likely saw an adorable young model for their merchandise and couldn’t resist dressing her up. Even he had to admit they did a good job; it suited Eri quite well. The Pussycats probably also wanted to show Shouta the correct way to dress someone in cat themed clothing after the absolute abomination of a sweater he had bought her. Hizashi snickered a little at the memory. Although, he was soon snapped out of his reverie when Yagi’s hand clapped down firmly on his shoulder.

“Do you feel like something’s wrong?”

The voice hero huffed in relief, “Oh, thank GOD it’s not just me!” He made special effort to tamp down his volume for Eri’s sake. Both men glanced back up to the H-shaped building as an audible gust of wind sent a tumble weed rolling past their feet.

“…”

Another awkward gust blew.

“So...,” All Might began slowly, “what do you think it is?”

“I have no idea…”

Seemingly unaware of their unease, Eri skipped straight through the gates humming a tune to some kid’s show Hizashi didn’t remember the name of. Before she made it too far, Mic called out to stop her and asked if she felt anything was wrong. Children usually had a good sense for this sort of thing. For a while she just stared at him with a tilted head – accurately portraying Midoriya’s lost kitten look – before her mouth made a small “O” shape in understanding.

“Oh! That’s just Deku’s aura!” she chirped out.

“…his what?” All Might asked with a frown.

Eri either didn’t hear the man or completely ignored him as she continued without answering the question, “I think I can feel Mr. Eraserhead’s as well..” she furrowed her brows, “oh…I can feel everyone else in class A too! I can’t wait to see them all again!”

With that, the little listener just ran off and left both pro heroes with much more doubt than they started with. They both exchanged concerned looks as they watched Eri’s retreating figure get smaller and smaller. With a deep breath, Yamada squared his shoulders and began walking after her, however reluctantly, and heard All Might trailing behind him by about a metre or so.

Hopefully, these so-called “auras” weren’t bad news.

Having completely lost Eri along the way, Present Mic now found himself inside the staffroom looking at so many pale and downtrodden faces he thought he may have unintentionally walked into a funeral. It was quite an odd sight for this time of the morning, especially seeing as everyone just returned from a holiday. Everyone should be happy unless…

“DON’T TELL ME SHOU ACTUALLY DID DIE DURING NSSS MONTH!! OH NO!! THAT’S TERRIB-AAH“

His quirk assisted rant was immediately cut off with a yelp when Kayama clocked him in the face with a nearby dictionary. As Hizashi rubbed his forehead in a worthless attempt to soothe the point of impact, he heard everyone in the staffroom sigh in relief at the newfound silence. Actually, now that he got a better look at everyone, he realised their expressions weren’t sad as he originally thought, they were…apprehensive.

For what though?

Ignoring Nemuri scowling at him for his earlier loss of control, he scanned the room for any discrepancies. No one had dumped their grading on someone else and bolted, Nedzu hadn’t planted any new spy cameras in the room – yes, that has happened before – and no plus ultra death traps had been triggered – yes, that has happened too – so everything appeared to be in order. By far the most important thing in the room, the coffee machine of course, was still working as well. Last time that had broken, Shouta had gone completely insane. The only way everyone had managed to survive his decaffeinated rampage was to tie him to a chair using his own capture weapon and buy him a very strong black coffee. Even Nedzu later admitted he was terrified of the scarf-clad man during that particular incident. Actually, speaking of the scarf-clad man…

Glancing a little to the side, Yamda’s green eyes came to rest on Shouta’s desk and at long last, he understood the room’s fear. Aizawa and his hideous sleeping bag were missing. Shou’s absence wasn’t such a big cause for concern; sometimes the man had errands to run at this time of the morning, usually tracking down better coffee. The much larger cause of concern was the absence of the sleeping bag. Whether its owner was running errands or sleeping in it, the bag was always in the staffroom before the first bell. There were two possible scenarios that could explain its current non-existent presence:

1. It had been damaged or stained in some way and the culprit had removed it to fix their mistake before Shouta came back and scarf strangled them – this was the least likely scenario seeing as all teachers were accounted for aside from the man himself.
2. Nothing had happened to the bag and it was currently with its owner which would mean that Aizawa was away somewhere and likely planning something – this is definitely the more likely option, especially after the stunt everyone had pulled by leaving him alone during NSSS Month. Searching the faces around him, it appeared as if everyone else had come to this unfortunate conclusion as well.

Present Mic had very little time to think over what plans Shouta may be cooking up as he was interrupted by Nedzu’s cheery voice blaring through the loud speakers. “Am I a mouse, a dog or a bear? That’s right, I’m the principal!” everybody sat upright at the sound.

“Good morning everyone! Would all staff and students please make their way down to the assembly hall? We have a very special announcement to make before classes begin. Thank you!”

The entire room blanched as the speaker shut off with a small burst of static. Hizashi in particular was freaking the fuck out; that bad feeling from this morning, the missing sleeping bag and now the impromptu assembly were not painting a pretty mental image. Whatever this is, Yamada is certain that it will, at the very least, spell his doom for the rest of the day. Karmic destiny was an absolute bitch in this school and when you combined Nedzu and Shouta with it, it got that much worse. He could try to run away but something told him he wouldn’t make it very far.

Upon walking into the assembly hall with the rest of the school, the first thing Present Mic homed in on was the stage. On said stage was all of class A – along with a blonde girl he didn’t recognise and oh no, was that Eri up there?! – assembled in a neat line facing out towards the audience and smiling as if they all had something to say. That…was kinda unnerving in itself. Yeah, those smiles looked sweet and innocent but there was that off feeling again. These kids were up to something. Something evil. With a slight shiver, he turned to the next point of interest. Namely, the empty space in the middle of the class’s line. This could only be reserved for one individual:

One Shouta Aizawa.

Sure enough, the previously missing man strolled onto the stage just a second later and made his way to the middle space, turning out to face the audience with an identical smile to the little listeners. Hizashi was pretty sure the entire school sucked in a frightened breath upon seeing him. After what felt like an eternity of awkward silence, Present Mic could not deny his inner commentator any longer and called out to the group of people on stage.

“Hey, uh…w-what are you and the listeners doing up there Shou?”

In one synchronised movement, all of class A – even sweet Eri – turned to stare directly into Yamada’s green eyes with identical “logical ruse” grins plastered on their faces. Present Mic can safely say that he has never been more terrified in his entire life; Shouta has officially corrupted 22 innocent children. Well, at least Nedzu didn’t get to them first, right? ...right? Before he could dwell too much on his inner thoughts and begin to flip out, Aizawa started to chuckle lowly like some kind of cliché movie villain, staring directly into Hizashi’s very soul.

“Didn’t you know Mic?” he said, grin widening further,

“It’s ASSS month.”