Archive of Our Own ^beta

1) 

At the beginning of time, the yokai only knew leisure; everything they deemed worthwhile and enjoyable. Without humans around, there were no worldly trifles to disrupt their own peace of mind. There was no need, no purpose, there was only peace.

Each group of yokai had their own domain, their own assigned areas they could roam freely and arrange to their own gusto. The tengu ruled over high mountain ranges and patrolled the skies while the kitsune took care of forests and meadows, roaming the plains for victims of their mischief.

Yet, there were no laws that prohibited them from crossing into foreign territories as long as the keepers allowed it. This was how two comparatively young yokai had found their way into each other’s life.

Touya was sitting at the edge of a mountain, his tails swishing behind him, giving away his relaxed mood. Who wouldn’t be after meeting their lover again, having climbed the steep, steep peak to fall into his tengu’s arms, embrace and nest?

Now they were both sharing a pipe of the best tobacco Touya had found and brought with him. Keigo didn’t like it much but for this kind, he made an exception, mostly because his precious would bring it to him as an offering. How thoughtful, how generous.

“You ever get bored?”

Keigo sat beside Touya, leaning back on his hands while his wings slightly flared out behind him, taloned feet dangling over the gaping void before them. One of the tails tapped his hands in contemplation while the Kitsune attached to it only hummed.

“Never? I suppose you are just too lazy”, he teased in good humour, poking Touya’s cheek who only huffed amusedly.

“Maybe I just know of better things, birdie.”

They both leaned towards each other, donning similar smirks for they were young and reckless but thought the world of themselves. Humanity had just started to lift its head, barely able to support itself while time slowly fell into place and started ticking.

Compared to puny humans, beings that barely lived a hundred years in their measure, if even that, they were gods and masters, old and wise. There was nothing that could beat them or surprise them.

“Maybe I just want to see something else for a change. Humans live so much shorter than us and still, they seem to have all the fun.”

The tengu turned his face just when he had been about to touch Touya’s lips with his own, teasing him as always, his gaze sweeping over the land at the foot of the mountain range.

“You wanna become a human? They don’t have wings nor powers, they only have time to run from.”

“And yet they laugh so often, more times than you can count.”

“You think laughing is more important than being with me?”

The light note he had aimed for was drowned in honest hurt and jealousy. Touya didn’t like it when attention was taken from him, even less so if it was the bird’s. For that reason, he didn’t even like the other tengus much, nor the worshippers that brought his lover jewels and gems as if they had any right to do so, even if he loved to be swamped in luxury.

“Of course not, my sly one. But the way humans laugh, I can hear their fragile hearts sing through their chests. It feels like flying but at the same time, it feels different. Is it so bad I’d like to know how it’d be?”

Soft golden eyes met icy blue as the sun started to set behind them. For mere seconds, their gazes locked, silent battle warring between them.

“I think I might just know a trick for you.”

“A trick?”

“Mh… it is written, our souls are bound, we are meant for each other, right? We belong together and nothing can ever come between us?”

The tengu nodded, curious where this question would lead to.

“See, my tails. For each I give up, I can give us a human life.”

Touya swished one of them between them for emphasis, slender fingers stroking over the fluffy fur, white and sometimes streaks of red in between.

“We can make it a game. Each life, we will have to find each other. Whoever is the one to remember first, is the one who wins. He will get to choose what the other has to be punished with.”

Never afraid of a challenge, Keigo’s eyes flashed in excitement. Of course, he wanted the prize, the golden treasure and his lover’s hand forever. Yet, there was one drawback.

“You want to sacrifice your tails, for fun?”

“For you”, the fox spirit clarified as the tail slid idly through his hand as if it knew its last moments had come.

“How many?”

How many tails was he willing to give up.

How many lives would they gain.

How many times he’d want to prove his love.

“I have eight tails, I will leave two. One for security and one for my dignity.”

Keigo couldn’t help but laugh at that. Of course.

“And how will it work? Will we have to… die first?”

He had heard the word, the concept of life just coming to an end, the mind ceasing to exist. Had heard the words whispered in hushed voices, by humans and yokai equally. Neither knew what waited on the other side but instead of fear, he only felt thrilled and excited.

Touya shook his head.

“We can just go to sleep, our human life will then begin.”

“Just like that? That easy?”

Keigo’s joy kept growing with each passing moment at the prospect to live life as a human and experience whatever it was they treasured so highly that dying felt so woeful.

“Yeah, just that easy, little feather.”

Keigo beamed in excitement.

“When can we start?”

2)

“Please stay, Touya”, Keigo whined like the impudent child he was. Ever since he had become part of the nomarch’s household, he had fully taken advantage of his new privileges. Had he been a lowly servant before, now he was allowed to go outside by himself and resort to lighter duties in order to go easy on his body. As an entertainer for his master’s banquets, he had to look the part after all and be of high spirits.

“I have to go, you should know best. The nomarch will bring you over tonight for the festivities.”

Just a few days prior, they had finally finished the latest temple in honour of Horus and Touya as the chief architect had now the honour of hosting the nome’s governor in his own house. His wife had been busy with preparations and nagged him about all the details but he knew she was capable, she knew what was expected of her. He was less sure of his daughter, ever since her engagement to their neighbour’s son, she had acted out. But as soon as time allowed, he’d talk to her as he had promised his wife. At 13 years old, she was old enough to understand the importance of duty to her family and if she had inherited any intellect of her mother, she’d comply soon enough. Secretly, Touya also wished for her to be a child as long as she stayed at their family home rather than embarrassing them when she moved in with her husband after the wedding ceremony.

“Fine, I will let you go, oh grand architect. But just so you know, I won’t enjoy tonight’s amusement much with your wife sitting beside you when I could be sitting in your lap, make you feel the music and do all the things you like most.”

A salacious grin appeared on the servant’s face as he fixed his kilt and made sure everything was back in place and none of the lovebites on his thighs remained visible. He then proceeded to help Touya with his Shendyt, tying the belt around his waist until nobody would be the wiser looking at them.

“Sometimes, I believe you’ve been sent by the gods as a curse, son of Horus. Sometimes, I believe the nomarch should have given you to the pharaoh.”

“You hurt me”, Keigo replied easily, resting a hand above his heart in mockery. Touya liked to toy with him when he pretended to be annoyed but he was always lacking the bite in his words.

“I hurt myself with this affair”, the architect sighed as he pulled the servant close, gaze raking over the golden eyes, the eye markings painted with the blackest khol known to man, down the bare chiselled, sun-kissed chest. “Every time I watch you dance and play the lute, I think about your sinful hips, those toned legs of yours.”

“You only have to say the words and I am yours, oh grand architect”, Keigo babbled in a sing-song voice with fluttering lashes, hands careful not to disturb the fine clothing of his lover. “You surely must have earned a gift for your hard work.”

As tempting as this sounded, Touya knew, they both knew it wasn’t possible. Once the nomarch had l laid eyes on the exotic prisoner-of-war, he had claimed Keigo for himself. He wouldn’t let him go.

Nobody with eyes and any sense would do that.

*

Later that night as Touya’s family and their guest of honour were seated at the banquet table with servants around them, making sure everybody had enough to drink, to eat and no reason to complain. 

“My dear architect, I think it is time for my present. As a surprise, I have brought my latest acquisition.”

The nomarch was proud above all else. He waved towards the entrance and of course, Keigo came through in the finest clothes. Or well, the finest for a slave anyway. Nobody would outshine the nobles present, least of all the lady of the house, Touya’s wife. As a priestess of the temple, she made sure everybody was aware of her status and gave her the respect she had earned with that position. All in all, they were a model family.

The entertainer’s khol had been renewed, his wig was gleaming in the light and the gold bands on his arms were worthy of a king. Truly the favourite pet of his owner. More than his looks though was the way he played the lute and sang upon entering, his hips swaying in the rhythm although that might be solely Touya’s imagination. As their eyes locked for the briefest of moments, he saw his desire reflected in the golden depth. His words from this afternoon came back to the front of his mind.

But just so you know, I won’t enjoy tonight’s amusement much with your wife sitting beside you when I could be sitting in your lap, make you feel the music and do all the things you like most.

The little dancer would be his death one day for sure.

In the end, they would not do any of the promised sins of course. Just as their lives would go, they were just close enough to touch but could never be, not officially anyway. Touya had his family, soon grandchildren to take care of and still his duties to fulfil.

Meanwhile, Keigo had to serve, dance and survive. Despite being the favoured entertainer of the nomarch, he wasn’t exempt from dangers the lower case had to fear. One of these also entailed the pharaoh to find him and to promote him to his court.

He was as famous as was possible within the capital’s bounds, the king liked to spoil him for his service and told him he was a blessing sent from Horus himself.

Yet all that didn’t save him when the monarch died, he was sold off to the other end of the country to a more influential cousin of the deceased, far out of reach for the mere architect whose biggest feat consisted of the finishing touches on one temple in Upper Egypt. Touya had not seen Keigo for a while, yet when he learnt of the news, he mourned his past lover and the missed chances.

Sometimes, he would sit down with a lute and try to replay the tunes the servant used to demonstrate. They never sounded right, yet his memories kept coming back each time.

3)

Touya was frozen in shock. He knew it was an honour.

He knew he should be proud to be chosen.

He would gladly walk into death.

Yet, here he was, sitting still and waiting for the painting to be over.

The blue colour on his skin, still glistening and wet.

Blue, the colour for sacrifice.

By sunset, he’d be shot dead with arrows.

Only two weeks prior, he had been sitting with his father and his brother-in-arms. They had just returned from a successful campaign, having conquered their enemies and brought crops, gold and more for their people as well as their gods.

They knew one of them would be chosen as a human sacrifice to thank their benefactors for their goodwill. As it was tradition, one of the strongest warriors would be offered in thanks, therefore big warfare was not as usual as some would like, too big a risk to weaken their ranks. There was no glory in loss due to lowered men, all given to the spirits above.

His father had suggested himself to spare his son as well as the young general, both invaluable forces. The priests had decided differently though, the gods asked for a young and healthy, a worthy sacrifice. The humiliation for his father had driven Touya mad but he had bowed his head in silent resignation when they chose him instead.

He was prepared to save his family’s face.

It was an immeasurable honour, after all, to be personally chosen by the gods above, offered as a sacrifice to say thanks for the successful raid and pray for many more to come. Even if he himself wouldn’t be able to partake in person anymore.

He’d be there in spirit.

“I’ll make it quick”, his oldest friend promised. They both had wanted to play the prestigious role, eager to receive the honour.

“You know the rules. You’re supposed to make it slow and painful. The gods will be angry with you if you refuse, you idiot.”

Touya smiled leniently, sure his voice didn’t betray his inner panic. But of course, his friend saw right through him without another glance.

“Sure, sure… I know. I’ll hit exactly where I am supposed to hit. And I am happy for you. By tomorrow evening, you will sit with the gods. But can’t I be a little selfish?”

“Selfish or reckless and foolish?”

“Probably both. But is it so bad…? Couldn’t I enjoy your smart mouth a bit more?”

“If you’re nice and good, I’ll whisper to you in your dreams.”

Touya couldn’t help but laugh at Keigo’s grimace. They had been allowed their last evening together, fighting next to each other had created an iron band between them and not even death would destroy that. Yet,... yet, they felt reluctance creeping up on them as they were supposed to say farewell to each other.

They had dreamt of growing old together, having houses next to each other, beautiful wives and well-behaved children to be proud of who would marry each other to connect their families. They had dreamt of more fights at each other’s side and of simple times of peace with nothing to worry about other than to refill their pipes.

Instead, they had to say goodbye too soon. Despite the happy occasion, they couldn’t be as joyous as they wished to be.

“You’ll watch over me, yes? As thanks for getting you to the gods’ halls. Promise me, Touya, you’ll be there when I will be at the peak and you’ll be there when I am the lowest. Don’t leave me, okay?”

With a soft laugh, Touya pulled his friend into a hug, possible only because only his legs had been painted blue yet.

Blue, the colour for sacrifice.

“I will be waiting for you, you fool. And you better not cheat to get to me faster.”

By the next sunset, Touya’s lifeless body stopped twitching and quivering.

By the next sunset, Keigo said goodbye to his brother-in-arms with an arrow to the side.

4)

“Do you have to paint that slowly?”

Keigo was sitting in the atelier, upright and stiff and nowhere close to his usual ease. Still, it had been him who had requested to be painted by Touya. Not the other way around. And of course, the nosy nobleman could not have been turned down from coming to the quarter Touya lived in. It was not a shabby one by far, he still lived in his parents’ former villa at the once prestigious piazza. Now, it was a place for families run out of money and favour, just like himself. The only reason Touya had been able to keep hold of his family’s property was his generous patron, always willing to boast about the artist he’d keep all to himself if his rich friends wouldn’t commission him.

A touching offer if Touya hadn’t been suspicious.

There was never a payoff without a cost.

Nobody ever just did something out of love.

No matter how often your lover confessed his undying feelings towards you. In the end, he’d be ruled by money like all in the upper class. That wasn’t even Keigo’s fault, that was how life went. Easy and undeniable. In the end, the lire always won out against the heart.

“If you want the portrait to look like you, yes. And you better hold still or I’ll give you the ugliest nose.”

The man’s huffed outrage did little to discourage Touya’s teasing. That was simply how things went with them. Their most important conversations went without words, the testaments of their love were carved in canvas, oil and patronage.

Touya knew, their relationship was hardly even. If Keigo so pleased, he could cut him off of everything, taint his reputation and ruin his life, take his last shirt and leave him on the streets. Nobody would defend him afterwards. Nobody would believe him or stand with him when one of the wealthiest men in town, a merchant in business with some of the most influential people in the known world, would turn his back on him. Nobody would fight for the son of the fallen Venetian family, just another victim of the lira they all hailed.

Well, that was not true. He had friends and he had people he could ask for help. The last desperate measure, he was a proud man yes, but not too proud to ask for a roof to sleep beneath and a piece of bread to chew on until his brush and paint would help him back on his feet.

Wouldn’t be the first time and wouldn’t be the last, he was for sure.

For now, he’d gladly take advantage of the man’s generosity and if necessary store all his forbidden treasures in his storage. All artworks were beautiful and to be perceived but not all were to be consumed by the masses. Especially not in these times.

“Wouldn’t want the powerful merchant of the blue seas to be seen as anything but perfect now.”

The teasing was obvious and lighthearted, Keigo bit instantly.

“So you actually think I am perfect?”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself now, you are beautiful. Don’t look so smug, it’s more of a fact and something you should be used to hearing, I imagine.”

“Not by you, my love.”

He scoffed upon hearing the endearment. It was true, they believed a bond between two men, love between males would bring them closer to salvation, to god and the heavens above. Yet, there was no need to be so sappy about it as Keigo liked to be. Furthermore, they both knew they were playing a dangerous game.

Love between men was not so much of a problem, no matter if the Church forbade it or not. They both were rather disillusioned by their pope’s and his lackeys’ doings. Still, he remained the pope and therefore the highest instance, the most powerful man with kings and emperors bowing to him.

The actual problem was the fact they had discovered their love for trading roles. As much as they had enjoyed their endeavours, their sessions alone and away from curious eyes and ears, they had both been curious to swap positions. And well, that was something that was not only frowned upon but t punishable with death if they would ever be found out.

And for all that was holy, Touya hated Keigo’s wife. An aristocratic, whiny little bitch that hated him just as much. They had been married for economic reasons, Keigo looking for influence, for reputation and power, her family desperate for some much-needed coin. She had not been mad about getting married to a good looking devil as Keigo, she was showered in luxuries and comfort, there was nothing to complain about.

Somehow she knew of them though. Touya was not sure if it had been some maid that had caught them or that had somehow found other hints, or if it was just the paranoid mind of a woman without her husband’s love. Unable to keep his attention when he was clearly attracted to men.

She would jump at the opportunity to get rid of Touya. However, telling the authorities would mean her husband would also be blamed. Without a husband, she would be stripped of all riches, either married off to some old man looking for a young wife or even carted off to the next monastery where nobody would know her name. If it wouldn’t mean his and Keigo’s death, Touya would have wished her that. Or the Black Death.

He’d probably have to pack his things one day and leave the city if Keigo didn’t manage to get his wife under control. That was the life of an artist, trying to get by and not to anger the nobility except with his pure existence. A gentle reminder that anyone could fall from grace if given the chance.

“I think this is enough for today”, Touya finally concluded, not having done nearly as much as he had wished for but there was no use when Keigo was already fidgeting like a little child, unable to maintain his stance. He was truly horrible, a childish person in the body of a god, ready to bring the world to its knees but not yet able to. The most passionate person he had met yet, nearly able to match his own fire within.

“Come on, Keigo,... time to change to the bed. Do NOT look at the painting. I told you you’d see it soon enough.”

The warning was warranted given the man had craned his neck, trying to peek at the unfinished canvas as if he’d be able from this angle.

Horrendous human.

Fatally loveable fool.

*

The knocking didn’t stop and his maid seemingly had better things to do than to open the damned door. Keigo came down the stairs, yelling for his house folk. Too late he realized the knocking came from the backdoor. If that was some of his servants’ affairs, he’d kick them out.

When he finally reached the backdoor, he found a dishevelled Touya in front of it. The travelling cloak around his shoulders had come loose and the hood had been pushed from his head, a pale hand clutching a bag to his chest.

“Are you mad? What are you doing here?!”

“I need your help! They’ve come, for all of us. They confiscated some sculptures, paintings… I left before they could get into my house as well.”

The man threw panicked glances over his shoulder, making sure nobody had followed him. Keigo hoped so, he really didn’t want to become a target for the inquisition and their ruthless cleansing. Not even his friend the doge could or would save him if he really was in trouble with the Church.

“Please, Keigo! Let me in.”

“What is this about.”

Just in time, Keigo managed to suppress a groan as none other than his wife entered the scene, her maid behind her, for sure curious for the commotion and eager to spread some juicy rumours among his house staff.

“What is this vagabond doing here, husband. Is he whoring himself out now? Is that why he is standing on our doorstep in the middle of the night?”

“Wife, are you out of your mind! Get inside, close your mouth and go to bed. I will handle this. Just don’t make this a scene. The staff will talk.”

He shot a pointed glare at the maid who ducked her head but didn’t seem to be deterred much otherwise. He’d have to do something about that in the morning, couldn’t let her go, she had friends in the doge’s palazzo but he could make her do the nasty work she detested.

Before anybody else could say more, he pulled Touya into the house and closed the door firmly.

“We will talk about this in the morning”, his wife threatened again but what was she to do. She could hate Touya as much as she wanted; if she managed to expose him to the doge, he’d question Keigo as well and after that, all his wealth would be stripped off from him. She wouldn’t gain anything, on the contrary.

“Go to bed, wife. Sleep for once and shut your mouth.”

He waited, anger trembling just beneath his skin until he heard her bed chambers’ door swing shut.

Finally.

“What is it, Touya. Why have you come here?”

“You remember the things I asked you to keep safe for me? The art, the books? Can you keep them for a while? I might have to leave soon if this keeps going. If the prosecutors get as rabid as in Florence,...”

Touya had talked himself into panic, his hand movements frantic and nearly making the pouch in his arms drop. Nearly.

“I’ve brought some more, at least… something I could carry in my haste. Please, keep it and make sure it survives, yes?”

“Wait, are you leaving? Now? Where are you going?”

“I don’t know. For now, I’ll just lie low and watch the situation. I have some meagre lire to feed myself and I will try to find a better place.”

“A better place than here? This is Venice! The richest city-state in the world after Rome. Where else could you go?”

The other man shook his head, not thinking clearly nor willing to listen. He was erratic.

“I have to go. Can you do me another favour?”

“What is it?”

“Can you keep an eye on my parents’ house? I don’t want it to fall to the doge. Now, Keigo… farewell. Take care.”

As Touya vanished back through the backdoor, Keigo’s stomach plunged. Somehow, he knew. He knew he wouldn’t see him again, this was not just a see you but a final goodbye. One of them would make a mistake and wouldn’t make it back. He just knew.

He was wrong.

Just three weeks later, he was asked to come to the inquisitor. A burly, faithful man. They hadn’t got along well in the past but at least they were civil around each other. Despite their personal beliefs.

Keigo was led through the court of a palazzo the inquisition had made their home while in Venice. They left the friendly rooms behind and got to the place where they kept their prisoners. Piss and shit were smelling in the hot summer air, not even pigs would make such a mess as chained humans did.

Most of them, Keigo would have sworn he had never seen before but then, the dirt on them was so thick, their cheeks hollow and their eyes void of all emotions. They hardly looked like humans.

“Do you know this imbecile, merchant?”

The inquisitor did not bother using his name. The antipathy was audible in the one derogatory word.

“I do not--”

The words got stuck in his throat as the man before him lifted his head, cold blue eyes staring him down despite his crumbled form.

“Touya?”

There was no answer but the Catholic jumped at that.

“So you do know him?”

“I mean, yes… yes, he made some paintings for me. He is an artist.”

“Do you have any knowledge if he ever engaged in sodomy?”

“What? No-- I mean, why should I be aware of that? It’s not that I am a sodomist myself.”

Keigo had no problems holding the probing stare of the cleric, he had lied about worse things and to people he had a higher opinion of. Fooling the inquisitor was no problem. Yet, he did not dare meet the blue, blue eyes again.

Too great was the guilt. But he couldn’t do anything without jeopardizing himself. If he would get involved, they would both get punished or worse, die. At worst, they’d die at the stake. Therefore, he had to avoid those blue eyes, as promising and tempting as the Adriatic sea. There was no hope for them here.

So he stayed quiet and just watched.

His mind was never set free from those accusatory eyes as they kept haunting his dreams and waking moments.

5)

Touya sighed in indignation. His students couldn’t get worse if they tried. Or well, their parents more so since they were the ones always trying to interfere with the children’s works and it was blatantly evident.

Instead of bad poems written by 6-year-olds, he now had to read over bad poems written by middle-aged boomers, trying to sound like children. Needless to say, they all failed spectacularly and the ones actually written by 6-year-olds told whole other stories, their parents either not caring or present enough to look at their homework before they brought it in.

Frankly put, this was not the life he had wished for when he had trained to become a teacher. Not at all. He had dreamt of being there for the kids, inspiring them to become something bigger, better, heroes for others and shining lights for all around them.

Yet, here he was. Sitting at his desk in his bland apartment he could barely afford. Red marker in his right hand, a half-empty glass of cheap white wine in his other and nothing seemed to be worthwhile at all. Every day felt like the last and nothing new ever happened. If he knew any better, he’d say, something essential was missing.

Maybe his own light.

If he only knew what to look for. If there was a hint or a trail to follow, just a little sign from the spirits above, maybe life would feel more meaningful. As if he actually achieved something and not only watched his students pass his classes, leave his school and go on to live even emptier lives than himself.

He briefly wondered if it felt for everybody like that.

Always running to find meaning, to find something to dwell on. Never stopping, always keeping the hamster wheel called life in motion.

As he noticed his thoughts spiralling ever deeper into despair, Touya decided it was enough for this evening. With silent determination, he put his marker aside and shoved the papers away from him.

Instead, he pulled up the email conversation he had had with a guy over the past few weeks. They had met at a teacher’s workshop, he had seemed nice enough so they exchanged their mail addresses. Solely for the purpose of trading teaching methods and experience, of course. Nothing serious, nothing harmful.

Noone had to learn about their entanglement in the hotel room on the last night. Noone had to learn of the heated looks they had exchanged the days before that, the shared kisses in nooks all around the hotel when they felt free to do so.

It had taken them long enough. Dating when gay was not easy, not even in the second millennium. Of course, they were not pursued anymore and nobody was thinking of marriage just yet. Maybe the guy was even married and simply wanted to kill some time with Touya on the side. That was not of his interest anyway.

Touya knew he didn’t love that man.

He hadn’t loved anyone yet but he knew if he met his match, he’d know.

He’d know right away.

Maybe he was stupid for his naive belief, maybe he was hopeless but at least he had something to hold on to.

For now, he only wanted to get dicked down and not to think about anything. He had even gotten some time off so he could see him soon.

*

Touya is nervous.

He had boarded, everything had worked just fine. Boston Airport was always busy so there was that. Nothing extraordinary. Just a flight to Los Angeles and back in a few days, some much needed time away from his usual place.

There was really nothing bad about that.

It’s not even very early in the morning, he had had worse times to fly.

(He preferred the early flights for there were usually more business people, fewer families or tourists. Yet, here he was at 8 in the morning, sitting between a sweaty woman with too much perfume and an old man that kept muttering to himself. And still, he had had worse.)

Twenty minutes later, Touya knew he hadn’t had worse.

The flight he was sitting in had been kidnapped. His nausea only kept at bay with strong meds, crept up his throat, holding his gut in an iron grip.

He wondered briefly if that was his death if that had been his life.

Living from day to day without any goal, without any purpose. If he had wasted away for nothing during his boring lifespan.

Was that everything he was worth?

All around him, people got out their phones and started calling and texting their loved ones. Heartbreaking scenes of farewell and tears and yet, Touya had no one to call.

He wondered… would his affair mourn his death?

For one long moment, Touya eyed his phone in his hands.

His parents had died a few years ago, the only child he had been left alone. His job was draining enough, he had no real friends anymore who understood him or were willing to hear him rant about the parents of his students.

Now in face of imminent death, he wondered if he had not wasted his time but his opportunities. Had he asked a few weeks before meeting up, he wouldn’t be here. He could have put more work into his relationships, his free time, his life in general. Would that have changed anything?

He really didn’t know.

He only knew that was the end and now, he’d be utterly alone.

Touya would never learn of the man in a suit, sitting at his desk at quarter to nine. A too-sweet coffee in his favourite mug, happy that high above the busy city he couldn’t hear the noise New York City was well known for. Just his coffee, his computer and himself.

Touya would never know of the way the man in the suit was yearning for purpose, for something to fill his heart and soul with. He would never know of the man’s favourite song, his favourite tv series nor of his favourite colour.

He wouldn’t even know his name nor of his existence at all.

Takami Keigo would forever stay absent from Touya’s mind in this life as they had never met and were intended to die apart from each other, yet at the same place, at the same time.

In his last moments, tears sprang from Touya’s eyes upon regret and grief for himself as his nails dug into the armrests. A frail hand landed on his and the old man smiled sadly at him, no more time for words but at least, they were not completely alone as the aeroplane crashed into the north tower.

6)

“What did you mean, you knew?”

Hawks, no, Keigo stood facing Touya, or Dabi as he called himself nowadays. But knowing his real identity now, knowing the name he had been born with, Dabi felt like an empty shell, a mask the other had never really grown into as he still clung to his past life.

“I knew you were a spy. No hero would just defect from the life he is used to. From a life of privilege and luxury as you are used to”, the white-haired man spat in disdain, his stitches stretching wide, revealing gaps between scar tissue and healthy skin. For every other person something to recoil from but Hawks was so used to it by now.

(The first time had been the worst. It hadn’t been disgust, as Dabi had thought at that time. It had been… what? Pity? Pity for the poor man who was held together by bad decisions and unlucky cards fate had dealt him? Or admiration for the survivor, still standing after being beaten down by society and his own body? Hawks didn’t know and had never bothered to dig deeper. He only knew his fascination grew with every time they met and he could not say why exactly.)

“Not all heroes are like your father.”

“Don’t call him that. He never earned that word.”

“He is trying to change, Touya.”

The man snarled like a wild animal and with his spiky hair, he looked the part as well. For a moment, Keigo, no Hawks felt something like a long lost memory resurface but just as fast as it had come it vanished back into the depth of his subconsciousness. There was nothing he could do now about that anyway. He’d have time later.

“Don’t call me that! Not you of all people!”

He winced at the aggressive tone, not quite sure what to do. He knew he’d have to attack at some point if he wasn’t able to subdue the fire wielder. Safety was his top priority before there were more burned bodies, more lives to mourn. He couldn’t let that happen.

“Then have at it, Touya! You chose to tell the world, you wanted everybody to know! Now you have to live with your fucking consequences!”

(The consequences, Hawks knew, he too had tried to ignore for too long. He knew better though, he had to be strong for the mission’s sake. All the memories of crumpled clothes, of ruined sheets and stolen moments, had been locked away in his heart where nobody could find them nor take them from him. They were his forever but at the same time, they had to be lost in time.)

“I have to? I don’t think so, hero!”

Touya left him no more time to think or to reply, only to react and charge as well. When the two of them collided once more in battle, they were prepared for the worst. Ready to die for their convictions, walking the paths that had been laid out for them all along.

( Just when Keigo knew this was his end, Dabi… Touya seemed to have changed forms and all those memories from past lives came crashing down on them. 

“You killed me! You left me to die!” Touya snarled again, this time even more enraged but also hurt beyond belief. “What about our promise to be tied to each other? To see all the humans’ heights?!”

“You used me just as much! Don’t blame this on me when you are just as much at fault, Touya.”

“Tengu, I will kill you for your crimes.”

Keigo took on a protective stance, Hawks against Dabi was one thing, but in these forms, it was another story. Yet, there was something he could not quite understand. Just out of his comprehension.

Suddenly, it hit him.

“Touya. Which life is that? How many tails do you have left?”

“Just this one”, he snarled in reply, swishing his last remaining tail. The former pristine white pelt turned charcoal black from malice and spite.

Dread seeped into Keigo’s bones as his gaze followed the slim tail as in a hypnotic stance.

“That’s not possible. You left--”

“Ha, Keigo and Touya were both reborn by human hand. The filthy things have tricked us, little bird. This is our final dance so you better prepare for the end.”

The longer he talked, the clearer Touya’s appearance became, the less human he looked, but instead of the once majestic kitsune, the ugly aura of the yako manifested. No longer a benevolent spirit but a troublemaker, bringing death and plague with him.

“Nogitsune”, Keigo breathed in shock.

“Damn right, tengu. Now let’s dance in hell together.” )

In bright blue and crimson red, villain Dabi and hero Hawks went up in flames.