Chapter Text
Their next hero training with Aizawa was just a repeat of the last one. Same teams, same field, same goal.
They were given a second chance.
The only thing different this time around was Shinsou’s updated costume.
The undershirt and pants were the same, but the boots had purple laces, and the bags that attached to his thighs were purple instead of grey. The armored piece was mostly the same, but the trim of each piece was a deep purple.
His gloves were the only thing that had a new functionality. They looked nearly identical to his old ones, but his palms were a dark purple, and just behind each knuckle was a small, grey box, except on his thumb. When he double-tapped that finger to his palm, the piece would open up, and a lockpick would unfold out of it, locking together with a wire pulling it into place. Then he could pull it forward and down, free to move it as he needed, and it would snap back into the contraption. Each knuckle held a different type, enough that Shinsou didn’t even know how to use a few of them.
But he’d figure it out.
“Well,” Chargebolt said when they found their positions again, “Last time sending Sero and Tsu worked.”
“Cellophane and Froppy,” Shinsou corrected absentmindedly.
“It worked because it was a surprise attack,” Froppy pointed out, “If we do the same thing I’m not so sure we’ll beat Creati.”
“So do something different.” Tentacole said as if it were obvious.
“Going after Creati is still a good call, I say,” Cellophane said, “She’s too versatile.”
“They might protect her better this time around. Ribbit.”
Shinsou twisted his bracers. “We could overwhelm her.”
“All of us?” Froppy asked.
He shrugged, “Yeah.”
“They’d beat us to the civilian.”
“Then we’ll take it from them.” Shinsou scoffed.
“We could do two groups instead of three.” Froppy tried, “Chargebolt can guard the entrance again, and the four of us can handle Creati and whoever they have with her.”
“They’re just going to use insulation on him again,” Shinsou said.
“Yeah, but I’ll totally be ready for it this time.”
Shinsou gave him a dead stare, “What are you going to do?”
He shrugged, “I’ll figure it out.”
Shinsou sighed, turning his head to scan the area.
He probably wouldn’t lose to Uravity again, which would put that fight in their favor. They wouldn’t be stupid enough to let someone get shocked again, not if they were sending Chargebolt to do the same thing. They knew the fortress better than any of them did. If he were in that position, he’d bank on his speed to get him there and completely ignore the other team.
“Our first goal should be to separate Creati from them again,” Froppy said, turning to Cellophane, “That’ll be up to me or you,”
Pinky’s the fastest on their team; they left her outside as a middleman last time, but with her acid and their knowledge of the place, she’d be the best choice to send in, probably again with Earphone Jack to scout out for enemies.
Control the fight.
Jack knew Chargebolt well enough not to get shocked regardless of anything he did.
“They’ll probably also split into two teams,” Shinsou shared.
“They did last time,” Froppy agreed.
“If Chargebolt fails again, we’ll be leaving the fortress wide open.”
“You were in prison too!” Chargebolt pointed out, “You don’t hear me rubbing it in.”
“None of us can handle his electricity,” Cellophane said.
“Is concrete conductive?” Shinsou asked, his head tilting towards Chargebolt.
The boy was uncharacteristically quiet, his eyes darting around the group. "I don't know." He answered eventually, sounding almost offended.
"You don't know?" Shinsou pushed.
Chargebolt threw his hands out dramatically, "Show me where we learned if concrete was conductive or not."
"It's your quirk."
"I'm not an encyclopedia!"
"Like that'd help you." Cellophane snorted.
"No." Froppy cut in, "Concrete isn't usually conductive."
"Usually?" Shinsou pushed, his heart pounding a little harder, “Isn't that a yes or no question?"
“Are you planning on going with him?” Tentacole asked.
“They wouldn’t expect it. If he does win, we can start heading in; if he doesn’t, I’m backup.” Shinsou shrugged, his eyes drifting to the concrete fortress, "If I survive the shocks."
"Go further in if you can," Froppy said with a nod. "Just in case."
“It seemed like they wanted us to go in first last time,” Tentacole remembered, “maybe they’ll try the same thing this time.”
“And if they don’t?” Chargebolt asked.
“Learn to throw a punch.”
Froppy, Tentacole, and Cellophane split off to strategize as much as they could with their remaining time and Chargebolt’s eyes shifted to him, “Um, what was that?”
“Strategizing. We do it before most training.”
“Aren’t you worried I’m gonna stun you?”
“Well, don’t do it if I’m nearby.” Shinsou huffed, his tongue heavy, “There’s plenty of concrete at the fortress, I’m fast, probably faster than everyone else on their team.”
“You’re so modest.”
“Do you have to let off all your electricity to do the-” He waved his hand vaguely, “attack all around you thing.”
“Not necessarily.”
“Then why do you?”
“It’s hard to control that much. I usually just let it all out so I know it’ll take them out.”
“But you could do less?”
“Yeah, but it might not stun them.”
The alarm blared, signifying the start, and Shinsou turned to run.
“That’s fine. Listen.” He continued, keeping pace with Chargebolt, “I’m going to slip in, don’t worry about shocking me, I’ll keep my distance inside the fortress. Play dumb. Let off a bit, then, when they lower the insulation, thinking you made yourself stupid, go crazy. Okay?”
Chargebolt blinked, “What?”
“Seriously?” Shinsou frowned.
“No. I- I got it, just-”
“Can you do that?” Shinsou pushed.
“Ye- yeah?”
“Then do that.” Shinsou ordered, picking up speed, “I gotta slip in before they know I’m there. Don’t fuck it up!”
Shinsou weaved through the rocks, throwing a glance to the side as he slipped into the entrance, dropping low. He tilted his head, watching with half his vision, slipping further into the building when he spotted yellow.
“Ladies, ladies,” Chargebolt's voice rang out, but whatever he said next was muddled by the sound of his opponents shouting and the soft buzz of electricity. Shinsou jumped forward, sliding behind another wall, dropping low, straining his ears, and holding his breath. When nothing happened, Shinsou peeked his head out, hesitating for longer than necessary before taking one step, then two. He tilted his head around the corner to find a stumbling Chargebolt and the boots of Uravity on the floor.
“That one for real?” Shinsou asked, sliding his head out further. Chargebolt spun to face him, making a funny sort of noise and pulling his hands up to give two thumbs up. Uravity’s head rolled from where she was slumped against the wall, her fingers twitching. He rushed forward, pulling her hands behind her back, as her body lulled.
“First time?” Shinsou asked, but Uravity barely groaned, unfocused eyes watching him from the corner of her vision. Shinsou moved over to Pinky, carefully pushing her over, keeping his attention on her wrists and away from the frizzed hair and shaky breaths.
He pushed himself away from the girls and turned to Chargebolt, watching as he stumbled around, mostly moving in a circle.
He pulled on the connection, watching as his eyes turned white, his spine straightened, and his hands dropped to his side. The connection felt scattered, less painful than he was used to, and had a bit of a sort of buzz to it, almost the exact opposite of Deku’s.
Shinsou grabbed Uravity and Pinky with Chargebolt’s help, dragging them inside. He undid their cuffs so the chains were wrapped around each other, stole their handcuffs and keys, and pushed his way deeper into the maze, with Kaminari following behind.
He grabbed the insulation just in case, slipping it over his shoulders.
The maze was different than last time. He didn’t remember it all that well, and he never actually made it past this level, but he swore it was different. It took him much more time than he was willing to admit to find the stairwell up. Up here was a proper obstacle course, with punching-bag-looking things dangling from the ceiling and swinging along. He couldn’t make out how far it went, though, not with the fog that filled the air. The flooring here was rocky, jagged.
He commanded Chargebolt to stand next to the staircase and to tackle anyone he saw, and Shinsou pushed forward. The first few were easy enough to avoid; they moved slowly and were spaced out enough that Shinsou could just step right past them if he timed it right. They got more frequent and faster after that, and one clipped his shoulder as he jumped through it.
But he made it through, all the way to the center, where a rope led to the level above.
He stared up at the opening, biting his cheek as he wrapped his foot around the rope and pulled himself up. The new area wasn’t as foggy, but some had spilled into this space. It looked mostly open, but when Shinsou stepped forward, squinting against the fog, something sharp shot into his arm. He twisted to face whatever had done it, and this time he felt as his foot dropped a fraction, and something sharp shot into his leg. He stepped back, watching as the floor lifted, reaching to pull the small darts out of his leg and arm.
He was in the center of a room, and in each corner, he could just about see a door. It was easy enough to kinda side-step the darts. He could lean out of the way and step on the tile, and most of the time, it’d fly harmlessly by him.
Except for when it didn’t.
The doors opened to a spiral staircase that led up to each spire. It took him three fucking tries to get the right door and find the blow-up doll that was meant to be their civilian. It wasn’t until he hit the bottom of the staircase that he realized the real challenge.
Now he had to get out.
With a doll that would easily pop. He shut the doll in the room as he figured it out, pacing back and forth in the safe area for a bit before sighing and dropping down to press a finger to the pressure plate in front of him. It required very little pressure, and once he pushed it down and the shot went off, he pulled out one of the cuffs, setting it carefully onto the square, pulling his finger up to find it was still pressed down.
He used three cuffs, his two bracers, and one of his shoes to make it over, reaching to pull his bracers and shoe back when he cleared those spaces. He slid down the rope, only stopping to put his shit back on when they were out of the dart area, scanning the swinging bags. By the time he tied his boot again, he still didn’t really have a plan. He hugged the dummy close to him, rushing through the first few, rolling when one slammed him to the ground, struggling to push himself up with the doll before the next one came.
Eventually, though, he made it past that too, probably with a pretty nasty bruise, but with the doll intact.
Just as he thought he’d made it past the hard part and reached the bottom of the stairs into the maze, he heard a voice.
“Stop!” Earphone Jack called, and Shinsou’s head snapped up, twisting to keep the civilian behind him.
“And do what?” He asked before she had a chance to speak again. Her mouth slammed shut, and her earphones moved down to her legs. Shinsou raised an eyebrow, slowly lifting his hands, “I’m willing to cooperate if you’d just tell me what it is you want me to do.”
Jack stepped forward, and Shinsou stepped back, twisting an arm around the dummy.
“I think this is what they call a standoff.” His eyes shifted behind her, his stomach dropping.
Unless it wasn’t.
He’d dragged Pinky and Uravity in, but he certainly hadn’t taken the time to secure them. One of his teammates may have gotten to them first, but considering Jack was here and not someone else-
He told Kaminari to put his thumbs up, to step backwards down the step.
Jack's attention jumped to him, and Shinsou slid in front of Chargebolt, pulling the dummy along with him.
“Yeah- he’s- made this kinda difficult. You deal with this a lot, right? Any advice?”
Jack snorted as Shinsou ordered Chargebolt to drop his chin, turning him so he was heading down the stairs the right way.
“Alright, I’ll cut the shit,” Shinsou sighed, “You can’t attack from there, I can’t attack from here-” He stepped to the side, away from Chargebolt. Jack moved forward, her gaze hard, and Shinsou stepped forward in response, forcing Earphone Jack to take two more back. “Yeah?” He pushed, commanding Chargebolt to bump into a wall. Shinsou rolled his eyes, shaking his head softly, “Look, it’s two against one here,” He tried to joke, “Just surrender and no one has to get hurt.”
Earphone Jack shifted her stance, and Shinsou commanded Chargebolt's movements. Slowly right. Slowly left. Turn a bit. Wiggle your thumbs.
“We keep up like this, time’s just going to run out. There’s gotta be some sort of agreement we can come to.” He paused, commanding Chargebolt closer, “Should we take this outside?”
Earphone Jack scanned the space, and Shinsou ordered Chargebolt to tackle her. She fell to the ground, and Shinsou ran forward, twisting his hand around her headphone jacks and yanking them out of her speakers. She pushed Chargebolt off easily enough, but Shinsou slid over her, blocking a punch with his arms and grabbing her wrist. She twisted, but Shinsou pulled out the cuffs, slapping one around her wrist. She twisted her other arm, and Shinsou called Chargebolt back, telling him to sit on her thrashing legs.
“I did try to warn you about the two v one,” He said.
She slammed her head up, and Shinsou’s head snapped back, his eyes watering. He pushed her face to the side, pulling her handcuffed hand closer to her other arm, twisting to pin her arm beneath his boot.
She stilled as the cuff clicked around her wrist, taking a few long breaths.
“He under your control?” She asked.
“Yep.”
“Yeah,” she sighed as Shinsou pulled her up, “He keeps falling for it.”
Shinsou commanded Chargebolt to grab her cuff and to hold on tight, pulling her cuffs and the key from her pocket before moving to pick up the dummy. “Well, in this case he’s on my team.” He stepped forward to peer around the corner, “He just seemed like more use to me like this.”
He pulled the dummy along. “If I asked what happened to the rest of your team, you’d be honest with me, right?”
“Sure.”
“What happened to the rest of your team?”
“I’m the last one.”
Shinsou turned, scanning her face, trying to figure out if she was the type to lie or be honest.
He pulled his gaze away eventually, continuing forward carefully, “And you chose to come after little old me?”
“Well, you’re the last one too. Well, you and Kaminari.”
Shinsou chuckled softly, “Is it bad that I hope you’re telling the truth?”
“Probably.”
Shinsou weaved through the maze quietly, carefully, scouting around corners, ready for someone to jump out at him at any moment. He saw sunlight before he saw another person, and he broke into a run straight for his team's base, his eyebrows shooting up at the sight of the full prison.
“You weren’t lying.” He observed, moving to set the civilian under an archway. The archway lit up green, and confetti shot off, and the other team groaned from the prison.
“Team B, wins!” The archway announced.
He turned to Jack, pulling out a key and removing her cuffs.
“There wasn’t a reason to. You got me, you won.”
He gave her the prison key, running over to their base to free his own teammates.
He pretended Cellophane’s excited whoops and Froppy’s simple, ‘Good Job Ikiryo’ didn’t have any effect on him at all.
Red Riot slammed him on the shoulder as they passed to switch out groups, congratulating him on the win. Deku smiled at him, giving him a thumbs up, and tracked him down after, rambling to him about how good this could be for him.
It was nothing really. He was only the last one because he’d been away from the main fight, and with a brainwashed Chargebolt, he wasn’t really alone.
But still.
It felt good.
Really good.
To win and not end up in jail.
To have undeniably helped in some way.
He felt like a hero.
~ ~ ~
Kaminari’s cooldown time was honestly crazy; he was out of it for the rest of the class and even needed to be led to the bus by Kirishima. He could hear them giggling about it towards the back of the bus, asking stupid questions and laughing when Kaminari’s answer was always the same. Once they made it back to the school, though, and they were exiting the bus, Kaminari stumbled after him, tripping over his feet and catching himself on Shinsou’s arm.
“You brainwashed me?”
“Yeah.”
He pulled himself straighter. “While I was out of it?”
“Yeah.”
Chargebolt laughed, “You know, I think this is the first time I’ve been useful without Yaoyorozu.”
“Are you against using hero names?”
“We’re not training anymore.” Kaminari tilted his head, leaning his elbow on Shinsou’s shoulder, “So, be honest, how long have you been thinking about making me do that?”
“Do what?”
“Play dumb.”
Shinsou tilted his shoulder, letting Kaminari’s arm slide off. “Came up with it on the spot.”
Kaminari stumbled a bit, seeming unnaturally unstable. He caught himself before he crashed, though, sliding right back next to Shinsou, “No way. I don’t believe you. You can’t be badass and attractive and smart. That’s just not fair for the rest of us.”
Shinsou rolled his eyes. “Seems obvious.”
“It wasn’t. If it was obvious, they wouldn’t have fallen for it. You know, when you said you were coming with me I thought you were going to kick some ass.”
“That was the backup plan.”
“You’ve just got plans on top of plans don’t you? Plans on plans. Are you proud of me?” He asked with a smile, “I didn’t fuck it up.”
Shinsou rolled his eyes, “Well, I was working to your strengths.”
Kaminari tilted his head, “You were?”
“Playing dumb.”
“Oh!” Kaminari laughed, “Yeah. Smart! You’re smart. I mean, we’ve known this, but like- you hide it. Falling asleep in class-” He paused, “Well that’s kinda the only example I can come up with, but it’s not like you go around rambling like Midoriya, so I’m still right. Did you make me use my quirk?”
Shinsou blinked a few times, “No. I figured you were out of electricity.”
“Yeah, probably. I’m surprised you were even able to use brainwashing.”
“I guess you still had a brain to wash.”
“That’s news to me.” Kaminari smiled loosely, his eyes blinking like he was still a little out of it, “You should totally try and use my electricity next time. This might be my Go Beyond Plus Ultra thing.”
“Your quirk fries your brain. You wanna fry your brain harder?”
He shrugged, “All in the name of science.”
Shinsou pushed into the locker room, stopping in front of his locker.
“I feel like you’re not grasping how revolutionary this is for me,” He continued, slipping his jacket off, “I can just go dumb and not worry about it because you’ll have my back.”
“If I’m on your team.”
“Well yeah.”
“And you really shouldn’t just not worry about it.” Shinsou pulled out his clothes. “If I get caught, you’re still dumb.”
“Then don’t get caught.” He shrugged, bare skin sliding over Shinsou’s shoulder, “You didn’t deny that you’d have my back.”
Shinsou stepped back, dropping his head and turning away, heading for the bathrooms. “I wasn’t watching your back, I was using you.”
“Whatever you want to call it,” Kaminari said, letting his arm slide off, “We worked well together.”
Shinsou would’ve rolled his eyes if he weren’t so focused on controlling where he was looking.
“Loving the new suit,” Kaminari shouted after him, “Purple suits you.”
~ ~ ~
Shinsou straightened as someone knocked on his door. Yamada hesitated a moment before pushing the door open, gesturing down the hall with his head, “Can I borrow you a sec? I wanna show you something.”
Shinsou’s eyes dropped to the work in front of him, half finished, despite how long he’d been trying to focus on it, “I’m doing homework.”
“Shouldn’t be too long,” Yamada assured, “I’m on the TV, or I will be in a sec.”
“Aren’t you usually.”
Yamada huffed softly, “Sometimes, but I wanna show you this one.”
Shinsou’s gaze snapped back to him, thinking it over a moment before standing and following.
“-for you.” A woman who was dressed casually and sitting on a park bench was saying, a small microphone in her hand, “We pushed him a little more, and even got a sneak peek at what he may be up to next! Here’s the rest of that.”
The screen shifted, from the park in the day, to night, out on the streets. Yamada was half-dressed as Present Mic, his hair down, with the directional speaker around his neck.
“You recently made a reasonably large donation to the Last Offender Project.”
“I’m no stranger to charity,” Mic responded easily.
“Of course not, but you have to admit this one stands out. The people are wondering if this has anything to do with the recent scandal UA faced after the sports festival. Is this damage control?”
“Hey, hey, hey,” Mic started, “Let’s be clear- I’m not out here doing PR for UA. I saw a group doing some real good work and I wanted to shine a spotlight on that! UA has plenty of its own money to please the media, they don’t need me taking the stage.”
“What is it exactly that makes you want to shine that spotlight on this particular cause?”
“I’m big on villain reform.”
The reporter nodded, “As you’ve said.”
“Yeah, and I stand by it. I did my homework, talked to a few people at the project, even met a few listeners!” He laughed, “I’m a bit of a rookie when it comes to this, but I liked where their heads were at. They seem pumped about what they're doing, made me pumped to help out!”
“But what exactly was it that drew you to this cause? This isn’t exactly the sort of project we usually see Present Mic dipping his toes into. Would you disagree?”
“Nope, not at all.”
“So, what inspired you to reach out to those people?”
Present Mic paused for a long moment before reaching up to slide off his yellow glasses. “Honestly? I’ve been struggling to find where I fit in this hero biz. I dig charity work and local projects. That’s why I started Put Your Hands Up! -so there was a place for listeners to get away from all the heavy news and the snooze-fest segments. Now I have my own stage! And I’m proud of the radio, and what it’s done, but it’s not hero work, it never has been.”
“But you think it could be?”
He nodded, “Certainly not in the traditional sense, but lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the people we overlook.”
“Villains?”
“Villains,” Mic nodded, “And their children, their folks. Even people with quirks that look a little too much like someone on a wanted list. Heck, even folks who aren’t technically villains but still get slapped with that title. It’s a huge mess, ya know? There’s a stigma that sticks! Heroes are supposed to protect everyone, that includes the ones we try to tuck away. If they wanna make it right, I wanna hear them out!”
“People might argue, morally a hero’s duty should be to those law-abiding citizens first and foremost.”
“Hey, hey, don’t get me wrong- if you’re causing panic and hurting people, I’m ready to crank the volume. But when the dust settles? We gotta do better than just tossin’ folks away for a rainy day. I don’t vibe with that.”
“And you think this organization will help with that?”
“I do! Talking with those folks, they told me seventy percent of folks released after being tagged a villain are back inside within ten years. Fifty are back within the first three! We’re not getting rid of the problem by throwing them aside, we’re just saving it for a later date!”
“And you want to change that.”
“I do. I really do.”
“So you donate to the cause, but I don’t quite see how this pushes your radio show into classifying as hero work. Is it simply because it makes you money?”
“Nah, money’s cool and anyone who gives is a hero in my book, but I have bigger plans.”
“Oh?”
Present Mic laughed, finally sliding his glasses back on, “All I’m able to say for now is tune in next Friday, ya dig? Got a whole new segment comin’ up!”
“Any teasers?”
Present Mic shrugged, “What’re we talkin’ about right now?”
“Villain reform?”
“I really can’t say more.” He insisted, with a wink, “Nice try though! Tune in Friday and report on that. I gotta be getting home.”
The report shifted again, back to the woman sitting in the park. “Seems once again, Present Mic is making big moves. I suppose it was that time of the year.” She laughed, and Shinsou’s eyes drifted to Yamada, watching as he scooped up the remote and turned the TV off.
“What’s Friday?”
“A pre-recorded interview with an ex-villain.”
Shinsou held his breath.
“He’s my employees' step-dad, one of the few 30% that never reoffended. We talked a lot about the prison system, how he ended up where he was, how he beat the odds. He seems like a great guy, a little bit of an idiot, but a charming idiot.”
Shinsou bit his cheek.
“I had a talk with Midnight about a week ago. I’ve always wanted to use my voice for good, heroics, the radio, interviews, I want what I say to matter.” He took a long breath, “I’m not saying you have to forgive Midnight, she’s a grown woman, she should know better.” He paused, “But- but I can see how she ended up making the call she did, why she didn’t stop and think about how not okay it was. And I should’ve seen it sooner.”
Yamada moved suddenly, dropping to sit on the arm of the chair, next to where Shinsou was standing. “I thought- I thought it was just that asshole director, and a few bad apples that made you think you were a villain, but it wasn’t, was it?”
Shinsou took a careful breath, shaking his head softly.
“Can- Shinsou I want to understand.” Yamada was quiet for a moment, waiting for something, but Shinsou didn’t have anything to say. “I thought I had it, I thought I knew how the world worked. I’ve always said I’m for villain reform, but I’ve never looked into that, I’ve never really thought twice about what happens to rule-breakers after Present Mic’s done with them. And I- I thought about it, I really thought about it, and, while I don’t think I would’ve made the call Midnight did in any reality, I don’t think I would’ve given you the chance that Sho’ gave you.”
Shinsou clenched his jaw, tilting his head so Yamada couldn’t see his glossy eyes.
“I don’t believe that vigilantes should be classified as villains, and yet I don’t think I would’ve cared enough about some random vigilante to push for more.” Yamada paused a moment, fiddling with one of his bracelets. “I’ve never considered that there may be a reason why they are where they are. I thought I was above it all,” He shook his head, “But I don’t think I am.”
Yamada leaned forward, tilting his head, searching for Shinsou’s eyes, “But I want to be.” He insisted, “I want to be. Talking with Morine made me realize what the label villain really does to someone, how your life changes, even if you want to reform, even if you don’t need to. And I want to understand more.” He pushed, “Can you help me understand?”
Shinsou swallowed the lump in his throat. “Understand what?” He breathed.
“What growing up like that was like?”
Shinsou frowned, twisting his finger around the inner lining of his pocket.
“Why?” He pushed between his teeth, “Why does it matter?”
The question hung in the air.
“I can do something, I want to do something.” Yamada insisted, “To help kids like you.”
Shinsou scoffed, shaking his head.
Shinsou doubted there was anything he could do.
“It’s just how the world is.”
“Yeah. But it won’t change until someone makes it change.”
“And you think that’ll be you?” Shinsou spat, feeling particularly cruel for no reason at all.
Mic just shrugged, “I deafened my bio parents and the nurses delivering me. I don’t remember my bio mom’s quirk, but I know my father could amplify the sounds around him. From my understanding, not nearly to the degree I can but- you know, I’ve had quirk training and as far as I know, he hasn’t.”
“You know your parents?”
“I know of my birth parents, yes. They’re divorced now, but I still talk to my father sometimes. We can talk about this more later if you want, but, my point is, they gave me up because babies cry, and babies don’t know when they’re crying too loud.”
Shinsou didn’t meet Yamada’s eyes.
“They were already deaf, but- but it isn’t even that that scared them, it was when I shook the house.”
“How do you know that?”
“He told me.”
Finally, Shinsou’s eyes met Yamada’s.
“He told me because I asked.”
His heart pounded in his chest.
Even the thought- just the thought of asking and getting an answer, a real answer.
What if it wasn’t related to his quirk at all?
What if they just- didn’t want him.
“I get- I get growing up and walking on eggshells, being dangerous I get that. I’ve done a lot of work to make sure people never see me that way again.”
Shinsou swallowed the poison in the back of his throat.
“I think if that program they put you in was around when I was a kid, we probably would’ve grown up in similar situations. But- being dangerous never made me feel like I was a villain.” Yamada leaned forward, “No, I don’t necessarily think I’m going to be the one to change people’s minds, to fix all this shit, but someone’s gotta get the ball rolling. And I want to do it right. So many times through history they just shift the narrative to something else, not something better but just something different, equally shit to the people they say they’re trying to help. I really don’t want to do that if I can help it.”
Shinsou sighed.
“I don’t think I can fix everything, but if I could just- if I could just change one persons mind, make someone see a kid like you in kinder light, then it will have been worth it. But I want to do it right.” He breathed, and Shinsou dropped his head, his heart tight.
“What do you want to know?”
“Whatever you’re willing to share.”
The apartment was quiet.
There was the hum of electricity behind the wall, from the fridge, the pounding of the washer mid-cycle.
Not silent, but quiet.
Not loud enough for this sort of story.
He pulled his hands from his pockets.
“Well, first of all, people rarely use the word villain.” He signed, his fingers trembling, “Kids will, but adults- they’re usually more careful. They imply it, whether they realize they do or not. And the ones who don’t still fear that they may be the person I take that first step with. There’s always this hesitation to speak to me, sometimes longer than the conversation itself. And it doesn’t start until they learn my quirk. I can be a normal stupid kid until they learn I’m a brainwasher and then- and then I could be more. Maybe they wouldn’t call me a villain, but they made damn sure I knew I couldn’t be a hero.”
Shinsou took a slow breath, “And it wasn’t like I woke up a villain when my quirk kicked in. It took time for- for the reality of it to settle in. The first thing that changed, when my quirk did develop, wasn’t the muzzle, wasn’t the silence, wasn’t the anger, it was the games.” He paused to rub at his knuckle, “I wasn’t allowed to play the hero anymore. When everyone else's quirk developed, it just fed into their fantasy. You were allowed to make your quirk seem better than it actually was, but you couldn’t want a different one. I wasn’t supposed to want another quirk.” He shrugged loosely, “And without a different quirk, I couldn’t be a hero.”
“If it wasn’t heroes and villains, then I must’ve been cheating, even if it wasn’t competitive. Kids weren’t quite smart enough to not talk to me, and they were still my friends, but I was- worse now.” He swallowed, “I think- I think that’s really when it started to stick. Nobody wanted to play the villain, but- you know, for me it was practice.”
He dropped his chin, “It didn’t help that I wasn’t- I didn’t have great control. I didn’t just- brainwash anyone who spoke to me, but I didn’t know how to- turn it off and on. I was the one who figured out how to not talk. People liked me better if I wasn’t a threat, and the only way they trusted me was if I didn’t speak at all. But that-” he swallowed, “When I got older, that wasn’t enough. Not when I was smart enough to be plotting and lying. There’s always been a bit of fear there.”
He shrugged, blinking a few times, “It doesn’t help that they’re right you know. Maybe- maybe not about the practicing to be a villain shit, but- but god- it would be easier if I were a villain, if I just- didn’t care. Sometimes-” his hand shook, “Sometimes I feel like my quirk was made specifically for that. For evil. I work better in secret, I take people's autonomy, I know why they say that, I get it. If- if I wanted I could have my own personal army, mindless slaves reacting to my every whim. I can’t take much more from them other than that. I can’t get information, I can’t compel them to be a better person without doing it for them.” He turned his head when the burn behind his eyes became too much, clenching his jaw, “And fuck, sometimes I want that. I just- it would be so much easier for me to just reach in there and play, to make them do what I want them to. If I wanted to, if I was smart enough, I could slip into the right mind and send off nuclear bombs, I could make you kill someone you loved, I could do it.”
“But you don’t.” Yamada reminded, his voice soft.
Shinsou turned his head, finally meeting green eyes.
“I do.” Shinsou spoke.
“You’ve never started a nuclear war.”
“I took what wasn’t mine, from both you and Aizawa, I used villains against their friends, Todoroki and Shiozaki barely got to put up a fight. I- I’ve used it as Shinsou too,” He admitted, “To keep Cheshire a secret, just because I wanted to, on kids, on parents.” He shook his head, “I’m not a hero.”
“Not yet.”
Shinsou ran a hand down his face, “Maybe not ever.”
“Come on, Ikiryo. That can’t be true.”
“I’m going to try- Ikiryo means I’m going to try,” Shinsou swallowed, “But it doesn’t mean I’ll succeed.”
Yamada searched his face, “You’ll succeed.”
Shinsou frowned, “You can’t know that.”
Yamada reached forward, resting a hand on his shoulder, “I’ll help. Sho’ will help. You were a kid Shinsou, and you’re still young, old enough to know better, sure, but you know what else that means?”
“Old enough to take responsibility?”
“Old enough to be better too. You might be right, your quirk probably would be easier to use as a villain, and you could’ve done that, but you didn’t. You don’t Shinsou. You wake up every day, and you make that decision. To be better, to not be what they think you are. No matter what one off mistakes you made, you’re actively choosing not to be that person and that means they were wrong.”
Shinsou pulled his eyes away, “You wanted to understand,” He breathed, “We don’t have to do- do this part of it.”
“We don’t have to do anything, but I need you to understand too Shinsou. They are wrong. I don’t care that your quirk is scary, I don’t care that you could do fucked up things. I could too. I can yell loud enough to kill someone. Quirks are dangerous. It’s not fair of them to treat you like that.”
Shinsou shrugged, “Life’s not fair.”
“I wish it were.”
Shinsou scoffed, “Yeah.”
“You know Shinsou, you can acknowledge that life is never going to be fair and still be upset that it isn’t.”
His eyes slid to Yamada again, shifting his jaw back and forth.
“I am upset.”
“They shouldn’t have treated you like that.”
“Who fucking cares? They did. It happened. It still happens. It’s never going to not happen. I don’t want to-”
“But it shouldn’t happen.”
“Who cares.” Shinsou pushed, his shoulders rising, the anger bubbling under his skin, “Who cares? If I threw a tantrum about it every time it happened I would be a villain. I can’t care. It’s my life, it will be my life. The only thing I can even begin to try and do about it is be such a good fucking hero that no one questions me.” He threw a hand out to the side, gesturing to nothing, “And that won’t fucking work, I know it won’t fucking work, but maybe at least everyone will get better at fucking hiding it.”
Shinsou let out a harsh breath, the rage flooding his lungs. He ran a hand through his hair, pulling a little too hard at the base of his skull. “Fuck.” He hissed as he turned, “I don’t want to talk about this.”
A floorboard creaked behind him, and something tugged at his shirt, “Sorry, sorry. I’m done- we- we can be done.” Shinsou clenched his jaw, dropping his chin as Yamada moved to step in front of him, “Thank you for sharing. Really. Thank you. I- it did help.”
Shinsou pressed his lips tight, trying to control his breathing.
“If you ever do want to talk about it, I’ll be here. I’ll- I’ll try to be better about not- pushing so much.”
Shinsou huffed, pressing fingers to his eyes, the fire in his veins bleeding away, “Can I just go- I have homework to do.”
“Of course.” Yamada said quickly, stepping aside. “Thank you again.”
Shinsou moved forward, pushing his door shut and dropping onto the floor. He pulled his knees in, running hands through his hair, pulling enough to make it hurt.
And he breathed.
In.
Out.
Then in again.
And he didn’t think about how unfair it was.