Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Five years.

Five. Years.

Kel stared down at the missing poster.

After two years of preparing, then three long years of constant searching…

He finally did it.

Each red string guiding connections–each tacked on paper and file–each loose sheet stuck haphazardly into a random binder–

He’d finally gotten everything. He finally pinpointed the exact location of where Sunny was.

Of where Hero trapped him.

Kel ran a hand through his hair, loosening his bun in the process. He let out a deep sigh, staring up at the ceiling.

Finally…

Finally, Kel would save him.

The past years were worth it.

Tirelessly searching, constantly connecting loose puzzle pieces that had no correlation…

Kel took a deep breath.

This was it. He can’t screw this up. Tomorrow…he would do it. He already knew that bastard's whole schedule–on the weekdays he’d leave for work in the morning and would be back by sunset. It left him plenty of time to break in and save Sunny.

Sunny…

Kel lifted an arm over his eyes, grimacing.

He hoped desperately that Sunny was okay.

He hoped he wasn’t too late.

Kel wished he had started searching sooner, but it was impossible at the time. He was a minor when Sunny was taken. So, he waited until he graduated and had all of the identification he needed–plus a good amount of cash from doing jobs over the years–before leaving town.

Aubrey hadn’t wanted him to go–actually, she pretty clearly said he was doing something pointless–but Basil supported his decision. Not really surprising. Basil was the only other person who believed the two were alive.

Basil couldn’t come along, though. Aubrey wouldn’t let him, and Kel agreed with that decision. Basil was far too unstable. Kel was confident in doing it on his own anyway, merely giving Aubrey a phone to contact him with and then disappearing.

Kel didn’t really care that his parents were probably distraught at him leaving without a word. If they didn’t notice how fake he was acting for those two years, then that’s on them. He couldn’t forgive them for siding with Hero until the end.

Not after everything he did. Not after he ruined everything.

Kel glanced to the side, noticing an old birthday card sticking out of a stack of binders. Kel’s lip quirked up momentarily. The only thing Aubrey and Basil ever sent him using the P.O box he set up were birthday cards…and sometimes cash. Well, there was that one time Basil sent him an old polaroid of Sunny…

Kel got up from his seat, going over to the makeshift kitchen.

It was nice having an apartment. He hadn’t had one for most of the three years he'd been searching. Since he was traveling everywhere–the two had been ghosts, he really had no leads–it was easier to stay at random motels or people's couches. He naturally got less friendly as time went on though, so…motels were more common.

It was hard to smile at people when there was nothing to smile about.

Kel grabbed a packet of ramen laying around and got a small pot ready to boil. He felt the beginning of a headache and quickly relaxed his jaw with an annoyed tilt of the head. He was grinding his teeth again. He’d been working on stopping that habit.

It’s fine. Once he got Sunny back, he wouldn’t be as stressed.

Once he saved Sunny, he could rest.

He…really needed it.

…

Dinner was fine.

It tasted like usual.

Probably wasn’t healthy, but he couldn’t be bothered to cook. Dinner always ended up being something easy. For the rest of the day, well, he had enough protein bars and coffee to sustain himself. Breakfast…maybe he should get more eggs? He’d been having eggs pretty often–

Sunny.

Kel held his head in his hands. Menial things couldn’t distract him.

Tomorrow Kel was going to save Sunny. But, he had no concept of Sunny's current appearance. Sure, Kel had been drawing over the years, trying to capture what Sunny might've grown to look like, but that didn't mean much. He honestly didn't have a clue. Besides that, he also had no idea how Sunny would react to seeing him.

He had no idea if Sunny would even be himself.

…

Sleep was important. He had to rest up for tomorrow. Should anything go wrong he needed to be able to react quickly and be at his full strength. Although he didn’t expect to see that bastard at all, there was still the off chance he’d get unlucky.

Kel had full confidence he could take Hero on. He hadn’t been working out all these years for nothing. 

Kel shook his head, heading toward his bedroom. He decided that he would go to sleep. Or, at least attempt to. He was constantly running through the possible events of tomorrow in his mind. There was a constricting feeling in his chest, and he couldn’t gather whether it was from anxiety or excitement.

Excitement, because he finally found Sunny.

Anxiety, because everything could go wrong.

He'd been waiting for this moment for five years. If it didn’t work out, he had no idea what he would do. 

…If all else fails, he’ll just greet Hero with a bullet.

Kel snorted to himself. His humor had become really dry over the years.

…

Sleep eluded him.

Well, Kel had melatonin for a reason. Time to knock himself out.

Kel blindly reached around, finding the lamp on his bedside table and clicking it on. He sat up and opened the small drawer in the table, grabbing the bottle inside. He then uncapped it and popped a pill into his mouth, swallowing dry.

After putting the bottle away and turning the light back off, Kel laid down. He stared up at the ceiling, letting out a sigh. He just had to wait for the medicine to kick in. Until then, his head would be running through every possible outcome, making sure there was no chance of failure.

He couldn’t fail.

This was Kel’s first contact with happiness since the moment Sunny was taken from them…since Sunny was taken from him. But even now, sitting with that little bit of positive emotion in his chest…

He couldn’t help but feel apprehensive.

Happiness disappears quickly. Happiness is something to savor in the moment–it’s an emotion that’s so addictingly wonderful that it draws people in again and again. But, a moment is a moment, and time continues to flow forward like an endless stream–with happiness eternally floating away like a maple leaf.

Kel couldn’t bring himself to have hope.

Not yet, at least.

Not until Sunny was free from that monster.

“Sunny…just wait a little longer. I’ll be there soon.”

****

Kel felt his heart pounding in his head, ears ringing.

It was completely calm around with not a sound to be heard in the hallway. But as Kel picked the door's lock, he was unable to sit still. Everything felt completely surreal. He couldn’t believe he was there, only a door left in his way.

Maybe that’s why his hands were shaking.

Maybe that’s why he couldn’t catch his breath.

The world around him was falling away, and the tunnel vision that had guided him for five years was about to be cleared. He had finally reached the light at the end.

He had finally reached Sunny.

Click.

Kel hiccupped. It'd been years since he was last subjected to that annoying tick. He couldn’t be bothered to think about what that meant.

He stood up straight, and with a deep inhale, walked through the door.

…

A normal-looking apartment. Kel was quick to start moving, not bothering to look around for more than a second. He made a beeline for the three doors by the wall, figuring one had to be Sunny’s room. He chose the one closest to him and didn’t hesitate to swing it open.

Kel clicked the light on.

…

This…how was he supposed to react? Why–

Kel didn’t want to comprehend what he was looking at, instead deciding to focus on what was important.

Getting Sunny and getting out.

Kel rushed toward the bed, seeing a mess of black hair peeking out from underneath the covers. He quickly lifted them, and–

“…Sunny?”

Kel fell beside the bed, reaching forward and gently pulling the one he had been searching for close.

Why…why did he look the same?

Why hadn’t Sunny changed?

Kel’s eyes narrowed as tears blurred his vision.

It didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter.

Because Sunny was here. Kel was holding him.

“Sunny–I’m so sorry it took me so long I–Sunny–Sunny are you–please–” Kel couldn’t speak coherently, too overwhelmed as the reality of the situation set in. He lifted Sunny into his arms more steadily, letting out a shuddering breath.

“H–Hey, Sunny, it’s–it’s Kel. Please–Please wake up.” Kel gently shook Sunny, voice trembling. Sunny didn’t even stir. A shot of panic made Kel hunch over and quickly check the other’s breathing.

Relief. Then, confusion.

If he was breathing fine, if his heart rate was okay…

Then why wasn’t Sunny waking up?

Breathe.

Kel stood up. He needed to focus on one thing at a time.

Kel made sure he was holding Sunny securely. It wasn’t difficult–Sunny was small. Sunny…really hadn’t grown at all. And…the room he was residing in…

Kel shook his head, clearing those trailing thoughts. He needed to get Sunny help immediately. He would think about the rest later. Adrenaline was coursing through him, and he went full autopilot as he ran out of the apartment, unable to close the door behind him while his arms were occupied by precious cargo.

He needed to get to a hospital. He couldn’t think straight. He’d prepped himself mentally for this and yet when the moment came he couldn’t keep calm. He couldn’t remain rational, or steady.

Sunny was with him.

Kel saved him.

But Sunny was asleep. Sunny wasn’t waking up. And the possible reasons were rapidly flashing through his mind, each new idea compounding into an all-consuming fear.

Sunny had to be okay. Kel can’t lose him–not after just finding him again.

It would be too much to bear.

****

Sunny! Wake up, Sunny!

Sunny’s eye trembled, slowly opening. He blinked rapidly, glancing around to observe his room–

This…was not his room. It was bright. It smelled weird. What was that beeping sound? He felt funny. Why was the room so white?

Sunny, I think we’re in a hospital.

A hospital?

He was…outside?

Sunny tried to sit up but felt too weak to do so. He curled into himself, glancing around with a wide eye.

Something must have gone wrong. Maybe we were asleep too long and it made Hero scared?

Sunny’s head cocked to the side. His big brother wasn’t the type to mess up like that…he was extremely cautious. An accidental overdose wasn’t possible. Maybe it was something else?

“Sunny?”

Sunny tensed. He glanced up and saw someone coming in through the door. It was a person…? The person looked unfamiliar. Sunny nervously shrunk into himself, staring warily at the stranger.

Who is that? They feel kind of familiar.

Omori was right. They did feel familiar. 

The person walked closer, and Sunny watched carefully as they took a seat on a stool beside his bed. The stranger's hands were shaking. Actually, Sunny observed that they looked close to tears.

“It’s…it’s me, Sunny. It’s…Kel.”

Kel?

Kel?

Sunny brought the blanket up higher.

Kel doesn’t look like that.

The weird fake Kel was way too old to be the real Kel.

“S–Sunny please–” ‘Kel’ reached forward, but stopped, pulling back. Sunny continued to stare intently, watching ‘Kel’ begin to cry.

Why are they crying?

Sunny didn’t know. At the moment, he was just scared and confused. The longer he was awake, the more uneasy he became.

‘Kel’ was a person he didn’t know. His big brother would be unhappy if he talked to them. Strangers were dangerous and wanted to hurt him...

“How…how can I get you to believe me? Or–Or remember me?” ‘Kel’ looked distraught, voice trembling. “What the hell did that bastard do to you…?” ‘Kel’ mumbled it, but Sunny could still hear.

‘That bastard’? Who’s that? He hadn't heard that type of language in a while. Swear words were no good.

“O–Oh! I know!” ‘Kel’ leaned forward, hands gripping his pants. “R–Remember that time we were younger, and I tried to dunk a basketball? I fell flat on my face and got a nosebleed. You laughed at me, and I made you promise not to tell anyone.”

…Huh?

Sunny blinked slowly.

His head was starting to hurt.

Sunny, I remember that.

A memory. A memory. The past. Sunny lowered the blanket, suddenly finding it harder to breathe.

“There was also that time when we were playing hopscotch, and we both tried to go at the same time, only to knock each other over. You started to cry, and I got really panicked, trying to get you to stop before Mari found us.”

Mari!

Mari!

His big sister! His family! Sunny couldn’t catch his breath. This–was this really Kel? Was this really his Kel? If…if it was Kel, then–

“Sunny, I–I’m so happy to see you again. I…I just…” Despite the distinct sadness in his voice, Kel smiled.

That…that smile…Sunny knew that smile. Sunny knew that smile. Only Kel ever smiled like that. He might look a little bit different than it did before, but Sunny couldn’t be mistaken.

That was Kel.

How is he here? Where’s Hero?

With a trembling body, Sunny lifted himself up, crawling to the side of the bed and reaching out. Intense fear gripped him as he did so, knowing that he shouldn’t be touching or even getting close to anyone. Sunny then opened his mouth, and not knowing of the expression he was making, spoke.

“How?”

...Oh. He...he asked a question. He asked a question. He's not supposed to do that–he–

Kel saw Sunny attempting to reach him and didn’t hesitate to stand, sitting on the bed right beside him. Sunny blinked in surprise, gripping onto Kel’s hoodie without thinking. 

Kel...didn't get angry at the question. That's....good. But, now he was holding onto Kel. He shouldn’t be doing that…he just can’t help it. 

“I got you out of that place.” Kel’s voice cracked. “I’m sorry it took me so long to get you away from Hero. I wish I found you sooner.”

What?

Got him out of ‘that place’?

No, wait a second…this wasn’t good at all! Sunny pried himself away from Kel, unable to stop shaking. If Kel meant what Sunny thinks he meant, then…

“Is...he here?” 

Dumb. Stupid. One question was already a lot, now two? 

“Don’t worry, he’s not here. After bringing you to the hospital I called the police. I should’ve called earlier but I was distracted and–” Kel shook his head. “I’m sure they’ll catch Hero before he can run off. I won’t let him near you ever again.”

…What?

Sunny blinked slowly.

His brother…was gone?

Sunny was outside?

Kel saved us?

Sunny felt like he was going to pass out. This can’t be right. There’s no way this was real…it was just another one of his dreams. It’s just much more lucid than usual.

This isn’t a dream, Sunny. 

No. His big brother wouldn’t let that happen. There’s no way that could happen. It’s been…around a year, right? Right. There’s no way that Kel would look like that after only one year. His brain was just being mean to him. What if his brother knew he was dreaming about leaving? No, that’s not possible, right? 

“…Sunny?” Kel’s hand hovered over Sunny’s shoulder, not sure whether he could make contact or not. “Are you okay? I mean, of course not, but…is there anything I can help with right now? I should probably go grab a nurse to check up on you. I can’t believe that bastard drugged you…” Kel suddenly looked angry.

Anger.

Without missing a beat, Sunny was pulled into white space.

Omori took full control and immediately scrambled off of the bed and away from Kel. He lost his footing and fell uselessly to the floor. “Sunny!?” Kel yelped in surprise, and Omori got to his feet quickly, trying to run to the door.

“Sunny! You shouldn’t be standing right now! You might fall!” Kel got off the bed and rushed to Omori’s side, trying to support him.

Omori practically snarled, backing away and hunching into himself. His eye darted around, searching for a way out.

Kel stared down at Omori, face twisted in concern. After a few moments of just staring, he relented. “Okay, I…I’ll stay back.” Kel lifted both his hands in a surrendering gesture and backed away, walking to the other side of the room.

Omori watched him grow farther away and became confused. He backed off? Wasn’t he angry? Omori knew Sunny shouldn’t go back to sleep yet, so he made sure to not let Kel reach him.

…It’s Kel, not Hero. Kel didn’t have that medicine, right? So he can’t force him to take it if it’s not there. Well, Kel could just hold him still. But…wait, Kel wouldn’t do that, would he?

“I’m sorry if I did something bad. I–I’ll be more careful. Um, can…can you tell me what’s wrong?” Kel grimaced, and once again, Omori could see tears in his eyes. Why was Kel so sad? Was it because he got scared?

Why was Kel sorry?

That’s…

Wait, isn’t that normal for Kel? Kel was very caring…right? And he always respected Sunny’s space. That’s how it’s been since they were kids.

But…why should he trust that?

Omori felt his legs shake and knew he was going to collapse. He hurried back onto the bed before that could happen, not wanting Kel to touch him. Thankfully, Kel didn’t move at all, remaining in the corner of the room.

Maybe…it was okay? Sunny thought this was all a dream, but it can’t be. Omori would know if it’s a dream. So, if Kel was telling the truth…

“I…don’t have…to go back?” Omori studied Kel’s face, watching his eyes carefully. Asking a question went directly against his instincts, but it was necessary.

“You won’t ever have to go back there again. Once we’re done here and you’re all better we’ll…we’ll go home. Everyone really misses you, Sunny.” Kel's eyes were honest. 

Everyone misses him?

But he told them he was running away–

Omori’s head throbbed. No, no he didn’t. Hero…got him to write that note, right? He couldn’t remember the exact words, but he remembered Hero’s.

“We’re already dead to them.”

“Ah…” Omori relinquished control.

Sunny blinked rapidly.

Right…he…never wanted to be in that place again. Ever. Constantly sleeping–not having control over anything–unable to leave–

Sunny was free?

Huh?

That can’t be right. Sunny had eaten this morning like usual, and just like every other day his brother said goodbye and went to work, and then he fell asleep–

Sunny, breathe.

Breathe? Oh, he couldn’t catch his breath.

Ask Kel questions. We need to find out more.

Questions?

You already asked two, and I asked one. Kel's okay with them.

Oh. Okay. Then, the most important question–

“Why…” Sunny stared at Kel. “How...did you…?” Didn’t they all think he was dead? 

“I never believed you were dead. Over the past three years I’ve been searching for you and–and now you’re here. You’re alive. And…and I’m so glad…”

“Oh.” That’s good, then. If everyone knew he was alive, then they wouldn’t be as sad, right? That’s a big relief. Sunny had been really worried about upsetting his friends.

…Wait a moment.

What did Kel just say?

Sunny tensed completely.

“Kel…”

Kel lit up, instinctively taking a step forward at his name. “Yeah? Do you need something?” He looked eager to help.

Sunny almost couldn’t get the question out. A horrible feeling was rising, and he hoped desperately that he had just heard wrong. His brain was a mess right now, so that wouldn’t be unreasonable.

Just ask. It’s important. It’s okay to talk. 

“It’s been…one year.” More of a statement, but Sunny was struggling to speak at all. Without Omori’s encouragement, he wouldn’t even try.

Kel looked confused. “What? Did I say one year? Sorry, I didn’t mean to diminish what happened to you.” Kel frowned deeply. “I’m so sorry you had to be there for five years. I…I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now…”

Sunny felt all the blood drain from his face.

“Five years?”

No. No. That can’t be right. It couldn’t have been that long. It’s a lie. Kel’s lying to him.

“Sunny…?” Kel picked up on the shift in Sunny’s mood. “What’s wrong? Did I say something bad? I’m sorry, I’m just not really good at this. I might be fumbling my words a little.”

Kel had long hair. Kel was bigger. Kel looked different. Kel even sounded a little different. That couldn’t happen in one year. But…Sunny had seen himself clearly in the mirror before going to bed. He didn’t really look different at all. Well, his face was a little slimmer, but…

Ah, wasn’t his voice a little deeper too?

Five…

Five years?

Sunny, it’s okay.

Five years!?

We can figure this out!

“I…was trapped…for five years?”

“Sunny?” Kel stepped toward him. “Sunny…what’s going on? You…you do know how much time passed, right?”

How could he!? There was no way to keep time! He tried to tally the days but his brother always ripped out those pages! There weren’t calendars, there were no clocks, he couldn’t watch anything other than the same few VHS tapes, and the only exposure he had to the outside was a small window!

Sunny, it’s okay. We made it out!

“No…”

Sunny stared at his friend with a wide, bloodshot eye. He figured he looked pathetic in that moment, trembling like a newborn fawn. His lips were pursed together to prevent a fearful whimper. Sunny rapidly shook his head, trying hard to figure out exactly what he was feeling. He was dizzy–his ears were ringing. He couldn’t believe that he had been stuck for five years.

And all of it was a blur.

Every day was the same routine. The only time a change would happen was when he acted out, receiving a gift in return for calming down–

Sunny wasn’t a child! Why was he treated like a child!?

Stop! You’re getting overwhelmed. Look! Kel’s really upset!

Sunny snapped out of his spiraling thoughts, glancing up and seeing just how right Omori was.

“Sunny I’m sorry I didn’t get there sooner! I should’ve–I should’ve tried harder! I don’t know what happened but–but please know that I’m here for you, okay?” Kel looked like desperately wanted to be closer, visible tears trailing down his cheeks. But, even with that obvious desire to be near, Kel remained where he stood, refusing to move. Sunny saw it. Kel waiting for permission, respecting his boundaries, saying sorry, genuinely crying…

…

Kel found him.

Kel saved us.

Kel was trustworthy.

Kel will protect us.

Kel never stopped searching for him.

Kel won’t let Hero take us again.

Sunny raised his hands in the direction of Kel, opening and closing them in a grabbing motion. Sunny finally broke down and lowered his guard, crying for the first time since waking up.

Kel rushed forward and pulled Sunny into a warm hug. Sunny latched onto Kel’s hoodie, finding himself wailing as reality further set in. Kel cradled Sunny close, forgetting about everything and everyone else.

“I missed you so much. I–I know I said I searched for years and that I knew you were alive, but I still just–every day I woke up wondering if I was already too late. And–and then when you didn’t recognize me, I thought my worst fears came true–”

Kel was rambling, words falling through his lips almost faster than Sunny could comprehend. Occasionally, a hiccup would interrupt Kel mid-sentence, usually followed by a strained sob.

“I’m supposed to be strong! I’m supposed to just let you cry and be someone for you to rely on but–but I’m just so relieved! I didn’t know what I would do if you weren’t there–if you weren’t okay! And I–I know you’re not okay, but you’re still you. I didn’t know if–I didn’t know if you would even be you anymore–”

Sunny cried harder at that, because Kel was wrong. He wasn’t himself. The only reason he was rational and thinking even a little clearly was because of Omori. Without him, Sunny would’ve succumbed a long time ago, forgetting everything that wasn’t directly tied to that place. Omori kept him from believing everything his brother told him. Omori helped him through all of it.

Sunny would forever be grateful to him. The number of times Omori took his place to shield him from everything led directly to how they are now. 

“Nobody believed me! Basil–Basil is the only other person who thinks you’re alive and–and that was so hard! It was so hard seeing everyone grieve you as if you were gone when I knew you couldn’t be! And–and then mom and dad just–they didn’t tell the police the truth and kept Hero’s name clean–”

Kel’s voice held tangible anger, but Sunny didn’t mind this time. 

Wait…Basil was the only other person who believed he was alive? Did that mean…everyone else thought he was dead? Kel…Kel was the only person who looked for him…

If Kel listened to everyone else, then Sunny would still be–

Sunny leaned further into Kel.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be loading this onto you right now. You…you should focus on feeling better, okay? We can talk about what happened later. Or–or whenever you feel like you can. Don’t feel pressured.”

The clumsy comfort was familiar and warm. Kel was stammering, trying to find the right thing to say. To Sunny, it was so honest and reassuring. Having someone speak without thinking, hearing someone being completely vulnerable and honest…

I think we’re going to be okay now, Sunny.

Sunny cried tears of relief for two. Although the revelation regarding how much time had passed left him terrified, he would push that aside for now. Omori could figure out how to handle that first. Sunny wouldn’t think about it.

Sunny didn’t want to think about anything else. He just wanted to think about what was happening in the moment and look to the future. A future where he’s back home in Faraway, with all of his friends.

“I’ll go get a nurse for you now. They’ll probably be mad at me for not getting them immediately…ah, I think we’ll have to talk to some people too since you were just found, and…” Kel trailed off. “Sorry. I won’t talk about it. You’re probably overwhelmed enough.”

Kel gently moved to set Sunny down, and Sunny panicked. “D–Don’t go…!” Sunny gripped the fabric of Kel’s hoodie as tightly as he could. “Don’t…please don’t…” Sunny’s bottom lip quivered.

Kel immediately stopped, freezing in place. There's no way he could leave now. Kel glanced around the room, before spotting something nearby. "I...I won't leave. I...think I can just press a button on that remote thing to alert them, so there's no reason for me to go anywhere.” Kel scooped Sunny back into his arms, sitting on the bed and fiddling with the strange device Sunny didn’t recognize.

Sunny sighed in relief, but still didn’t let go. He was in an unfamiliar place where strangers were everywhere, and he still didn’t know for sure if his big brother wouldn’t just come right back through that door.

You don’t have to call him that, Sunny.

Right…Hero wasn’t his big brother. Not after everything that’s happened. Sunny didn’t have to refer to him as that anymore.

“Alright, I think I got it!” Kel managed to smile at Sunny, and it was easy for Sunny to notice Kel was trying to make him feel better. It worked. Seeing Kel smile made him feel really safe.

Hey, what time do you think it is?

Sunny turned to the window located in the corner of the room and saw that it was cloudy. Hm, cloudy days were the worst. He can't tell the time if he couldn't pinpoint the sun.

Look! A watch!

A watch? Sunny glanced around, before seeing the hand close to his own. Oh, Kel had a watch. That’s good. Sunny leaned forward and grabbed Kel’s wrist, turning it over and looking at the time.

It’s four in the afternoon.

Right. Oh, could he set a timer with the watch? That sounded fun.

Kel noticed Sunny messing with his watch and felt a pang of sorrow. There was a large amount of rage bubbling just under the surface, only increasing with every new piece of information he learned.

Sunny didn’t know five years had passed. And with the way he was playing with the watch, completely focused on the time…

Kel lowered his head, closing his eyes. He didn’t want to make this about himself. He needed to be calm for Sunny. Although Sunny was relaxed right now, there was no way he had processed everything that had happened–not even close. Sunny would become more aware every day and…Kel had no idea how he would handle it.

Even when they left the hospital, they would have to come back quickly. Sunny needed surgery on his eye. A socket shouldn’t be left empty for that long. Hopefully, the surgery would be easy and they could get him fitted for a prosthetic as soon as possible.

To pay for the surgery, he needed to go back to his parents…which he planned to do anyway. Sunny needed to be somewhere familiar so as to not be more overwhelmed than he already was. It would be nice seeing Sally again.

And, no matter how vindictive it was, Kel was just waiting for the moment where the town would find out what Hero really did–who he really was. Having to see everyone genuinely mourn Hero as if he were a good person...

Seems like he had a lot of resentment. That should be put aside–not repressed, through. Kel would merely set it aside for now and focus on Sunny. Being in Faraway was best for Sunny, so that's where they would go. 

He should probably contact Aubrey and Basil. Well, he would do that in a moment. Right now he would sit and hold Sunny, feeling more at peace than he had in years.

"...Mm...but...right..." Sunny was whispering to himself under his breath, and Kel attempted to listen, but Sunny was just too quiet. Kel gave up pretty quickly, merely comforted by the fact Sunny was making sound.

The nurse would probably be here soon, and then he'd have to talk to the police again.

Kel's eyes briefly narrowed.

Hero better be locked away for as long as possible.

****

Aubrey sighed, waiting for Basil to finish using the bathroom so they could go.

Ever since they moved out three years ago, they would go to dinner together at a new place every Monday just for the fun of it. Today it was some underground sushi restaurant, which…probably wouldn’t end well for their stomachs.

Aubrey fiddled with her braids, hearing the bathroom door click open. “Finally. Took you long enough.”

“I was going as fast as I could.” Basil protested, adjusting his vest.

Aubrey still hadn’t been able to convince him to stop wearing the same damn thing all the time. That stupid flower clip too. He was older, yet still attempted to look the same as he did all those years ago. His reasoning was absolutely cracked. But, she wouldn’t be able to convince him without confirming Sunny’s death, and she knew how that would go.

Seeing the change in her expression, Basil walked up to her side, gently bumping her shoulder. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Just thinking about things.”

“That’s never a good sign.”

Aubrey glared at him, punching his shoulder. Basil laughed a little, swatting at her hand. “I was kidding!”

She huffed in response, about to respond when her pocket suddenly made a sound. She pulled her phone out and flipped it open. “Oh, it’s Kel.”

“Kel! How is he? We haven’t heard from him in a while! I’m glad he’s okay.” Basil tried to look at her phone and see the text. Aubrey shoved his face away, and he pouted but backed off.

Basil waited patiently for Aubrey to finish reading and tell him what Kel said. But, Aubrey’s face suddenly looked strange. Red, then pale, then…

Aubrey collapsed. Basil rushed forward with a yelp, catching her and lowering her to the ground more carefully. “Aubrey!? Are you okay? What happened?” Basil saw the phone in her hand and took it, skimming the words on the screen.

Aubrey lifted a hand to her mouth, trembling. Her eyes were wide, soon filling with tears.

For the first time in years, Aubrey cried. She felt all the strength leave her body, only the overwhelming news that Sunny was alive and found present in her mind. All this time she thought he was dead. She had grieved–she never stopped grieving. She hadn’t really been feeling anything at all since Sunny died but now–

She sobbed silently, hunched over. Soon, Basil joined her, pulling her into a tight hug and burying his head into her shoulder. He cried loudly, almost enough to hurt Aubrey’s ears. Aubrey hugged back, tightening her hold.

“S–Sunny! Sunny!” Basil couldn’t say anything else. Although he always believed Sunny would return, and had the comfort of meeting Sunny in his dreams, it didn’t mean he had fully buried that horrible thought of Sunny never coming back.

“I–I can’t believe it…” Aubrey took a shuddering breath. “He’s alive…he’s been alive this whole time…”  It was truly unbelievable, almost enough to make her think this was just a dream. But her dreams weren’t ever like this.

This was reality.

Sunny was alive.

…

Did...that mean this whole time...Sunny was...?

Suddenly, Aubrey’s body stiffened. She pulled back from Basil and felt almost suffocated by the realization. “Basil…Kel said…he saved Sunny…” Aubrey wanted to throw up. “This whole time he–” She cut herself off, biting down on her tongue.

Basil’s expression began to match hers until it fell into something worse. “Oh…Hero.” Basil spat out the name as if it were poison. “Right...he took Sunny from us. He got everyone to believe they were dead. Sunny was–probably so scared and–and–five years–five years–I–I hate Hero–I’ll–I’ll rip that fuckers arms off–”

“Basil!” Aubrey shook Basil’s shoulders harshly. Basil blinked rapidly, coming back to himself. Aubrey caught him fast enough, preventing an episode. “Let’s not think about that right now, okay? Sunny…Sunny’s alive. And he’s safe with Kel.” A small grin lifted Aubrey’s lips. “Basil…Sunny’s alive. We’re going to see him again.”

“You’re…you’re right!” Basil quickly matched her smile, wiping away his tear tracks. “Sunny’s all that really matters. ”

“…Work on your wording, will you?” Aubrey sighed.

“When can we see him?” Basil ignored her comment and grabbed the phone, handing it back to Aubrey. Aubrey fiddled with it, messaging a response and asking for more details. Kel never answered calls, so she didn’t even bother.

“I asked him. I’m sure it won’t be too long.” Aubrey’s hands were shaking. She felt so overwhelmed. This…this news was insane. “Everyone’s going to be so happy.”

She remembered Faraway, remembered the days following Hero and Sunny’s ‘deaths'. Rumors spread of possible reasonings, with people even alluding to Sunny’s family being cursed at times. But it wasn’t malicious. People were just trying to understand why it happened. Especially Hero…his impact on the town wasn’t small. People really liked him.

“…I wonder how they’ll react to the news.” Aubrey pursed her lips. It might even end up on T.V or in the newspaper–a missing child found after five years, believed to have been dead…yeah, that’ll likely spread. Hero would go to jail, right?

She didn’t really want to think about it. Thinking about Hero…it was an indescribable feeling. Was it disgust? Disappointment? Fear? She didn’t even know what Sunny went through in those years–she didn’t know if she could handle knowing.

“Kel responded. Looks like we’ll have to wait a bit. Sunny is really overwhelmed and shouldn’t see a lot of people. They are going to go back home though, probably because Kel’s parents are still Sunny’s guardians…so…maybe we should head to Faraway too?”

“Sounds good. Polly is always happy when we visit, so we can stay with her like old times!” Basil laced his fingers together, a happy smile still present. Aubrey hoped it stayed like that. She’ll have to keep him from thinking about Hero for now. That reaction earlier was pretty worrisome…not like that’s new though.

They moved out together because they were genuinely good friends–almost siblings, really. But it was also because Aubrey needed to keep an eye on Basil. He’s matured, sure, but…

“I can’t wait to see him again. I missed him so much…” Basil’s eyes gleamed, welling with tears. “I hope he's okay.”

“He will be.” Aubrey put a comforting hand on Basil’s shoulder. “Sunny’s really strong. And he has us to support him, right?”

“Right.” Basil nodded, wiping his eyes.

After a moment of silence, Aubrey spoke up. “…Still up for dinner?” Aubrey tilted her head with a crooked smile. “Might be nice to celebrate, yeah?” Plus, if they’re out, they can distract themselves from the darker part of the news they just learned. Of Hero–

“Mhm. I’m hungry.”

“Let’s go, then.”

Aubrey needed to keep Basil patient this week. If he gets anxious enough, he might go straight to Faraway and barge into Kel’s house to see Sunny, which would definitely be a nightmare. Other than that…things were looking bright. 

Aubrey felt a genuine smile stretch across her face.

“If I get food poisoning, you have to do the laundry this week.”

“As if.” Aubrey snorted. “You know I’m horrible at it.”

“I’m starting to feel like you’re bad on purpose, just so you don’t have to do it.”

“…Let’s get going. I’m starving.” Aubrey abruptly redirected the conversation, and Basil shot her a playful glare.

The two of them walked side by side, the overwhelming feelings easing into the back of their minds. It was a time to be happy and celebrate…they could think about the other stuff later.

Sunny was back. That’s what mattered most.

“Hey, Aubrey…” Basil suddenly spoke up, voice quiet.

She hummed, giving her full attention.

“Thanks for…” Basil’s eyes lidded. He tilted his head, staring at the ground. “…Thanks for being there for me. And…for letting me wait for Sunny.”

Aubrey almost stopped, eyes widening momentarily. She faltered, before straightening back up with a confident and unbothered appearance. “Of course. Polly would kill me if I didn’t.”

Basil glanced at her knowingly, eyes full of gratitude. She shoved him gently, groaning.

“Don’t look at me like that!”

“Sorry, sorry…” Basil looked back forward wearing a small, sweet smile. Aubrey sighed, grumbling under her breath.

After a moment, Aubrey and Basil glanced back at each other again, sharing rare, vulnerable expressions. Aubrey bumped his shoulder, and he did so in return.

The two remained silent as they continued to walk, having the comfort of each other’s presence to ward off the nagging, negative emotions threatening to pull them down.

Everything was about to change again.

Except this time…

They gained instead of losing.

****

Hero had a horrible feeling.

Margaret ushered him out of the bakery once hearing his request to leave early, saying it was about time he took a break. Hero smiled as usual and thanked her, before running in the direction of his home.

Something was wrong.

He could feel it.

…

Hero pulled his keys out of his pocket, going up to the door and preparing to unlock it–

It’s open.

The door was open.

Flowers immediately crowded the apartment.

Hero rushed inside. “Sunny!” He ran around the house, knocking things over in his chaotic search. “Omori!”

But no one responded.

Hero checked every room, checked every corner and every hiding spot–

But nothing.

The apartment was empty.

Hero took long strides toward the front door, finding the old camera he had hidden near it and checking the footage with shaking hands. He fast-forwarded, feeling his mind drifting with each passing moment–

There.

Hero slowed the footage to its natural speed, watching an unfamiliar person walk into his home. The man made a beeline toward Sunny’s room and opened it. Soon after, he walked out holding Sunny and left through the front door.

…That…that motherfucker–

Hero restrained himself from smashing the camera, knowing that he needed to have a reference to the kidnapper's face to be able to look for him. It took every bit of willpower not to break down and destroy everything.

Hero grit his teeth. Sunny was probably terrified. Sunny had been asleep–he couldn’t even fight back. Though, even if Sunny was awake, it wouldn’t have mattered. He was too weak. Hero’s poor little brother was defenseless. That’s why Hero worked so hard to protect him.

But…someone took Sunny away. Someone kidnapped him. Hero thought this place was safe, but he was wrong.

When Sunny woke up, he would be so scared...

Hero squeezed his eyes shut. It’s not like he could see anyways–flowers were everywhere.

He needed to think clearly.

In case they were ever found, Hero had everything he needed to skip town and disappear again. Looks like that was required now. Who knows what that person would tell the police? They'll say Hero's at fault, but that's a lie.

Hero was righteous and just. He was a good person. People just wouldn’t understand. Sunny needed to be kept safe inside where he couldn’t ever get hurt. Sunny was only a kid–a kid who was pure and kind. He didn’t have the ability to survive in the outside world, not with how poisonous and dangerous people were. Sunny would be destroyed out there. 

Hero was able to prevent a panic attack–at least temporarily–by completely focusing on the next step. He needed to grab that bag and the new identification, get out of the apartment, and leave town. Then, he needed another makeover. Currently, he should still be a ghost. But on the off chance he was branded alive again, he needed to look different. Lastly, he needed to find Sunny. He had no clue as to where that monster would take him. He just hoped desperately that Sunny would be okay, and could hold out long enough until Hero saved him.

This was his worst nightmare. The happiness he had for the past five years was in jeopardy–the promise he had been fulfilling was broken again. Mari would be so upset with him for failing. Hero was upset at himself for failing. He was supposed to protect his family–he was supposed to protect his little brother. He should've tried harder. He should've been smarter. 

...

He could fix this.

Once he was out of town he could change what he looked like–right now he just had to leave quickly. It wasn’t hard to gather the stuff he needed. On a whim, he grabbed Sunny’s sketchbook, shoving it into the large backpack.

Margaret would probably be upset that he disappeared, but it can’t be helped. He won't loiter around any longer. Maybe he should give Keith a heads up? He’ll do that later.

Once Hero had everything he needed, he didn’t even look back at the apartment he had lived in for five years. After all, without Sunny, it wasn’t his home. He had no attachment to the place.

Get on a bus, get out of town, change what he looked like, then find Sunny.

Hero repeated the general plan in his mind, drowning out all of his other thoughts and ignoring the stress sinking its teeth into his rationality. The moment he lost his cool it would be over. He had to stay calm and focused. He could do this.

Hero would find him.

...

It was only a matter of time.

Chapter Text

Sunny’s eye blinked open.

It was dark.

…Of course it was dark. It was nighttime.

Wait, it’s nighttime?

Why was he awake, then?

Sunny sat up, confused.

He should sleep through the night…he always does. Did he die in his dream or something? Take too much damage? Is that possible?

Sunny sighed, and attempted to go back to sleep and continue where he left off.

…

Can’t sleep.

Sunny felt like he was lying down forever. He wanted to cry. Why can’t he go back to sleep? It’s so frustrating. He just wants to dream. Why is his body being annoying? Just sleep–

…

Sunny eventually got out of bed, lips pursed in annoyance. His eye was watering.

It took him a little bit to steady himself, but once he was stable, he left his bedroom. He knew how he could get to sleep. He just needed some more medicine. Then, he would sleep through the night.

Dark.

Sunny didn’t like the dark. But…he didn’t want to turn the lights on. He didn’t want to needlessly worry Hero. This was fine–he could navigate this on his own. His vision would adjust. It was a little scary, but Sunny was brave.

Sunny thought about where the sleeping medicine would be and moved his head side to side. It would…be in the bathroom, right? Hero would usually go in there to get stuff. With that thought, Sunny felt along the side wall, placing his hand on the bathroom doorknob and turning it.

For a moment, he was met with his reflection. It wasn’t interesting.

Sunny went toward the mirror, looking at the cabinet above it. He couldn’t reach. Sunny frowned, glancing around for some kind of stool. There was nothing. Sunny stood stupidly for a few moments, about to give up on his hunt. Then, he stared at the counter.

Right, he could just climb onto the sink counter and open it from there!

Sunny’s arms trembled as he lifted himself, having to use his knees to fully get his body weight up. He felt a bit useless being so weak but didn’t give it much thought. After all, he made it onto the counter–that was something to celebrate. Now he could go back to bed!

It was kind of unsteady. Sunny had to hunch over a little since the cabinet wasn’t super high above the mirror. Sunny used one hand to hold onto the metal sink, raising the other to open up the doors hiding what he needed. He managed to open one, belatedly realizing that he couldn’t see what was inside. How was he supposed to grab what he needed?

Sunny puffed his cheeks, and in his foggy, tired brain, just decided to grab whatever he could. Unfortunately, he moved rashly, reaching up too high while feeling around for a bottle. It didn’t take long for Sunny to lose his grip on the sink. He was going to fall.

In a panic, Sunny raised both arms, grabbing onto the shelf inside the cabinet. He heard a creaking sound. Sunny tried to get fully back onto the counter, but his trembling arms didn’t do more than remain straight, elbows locked. The most his hands could do was grip the wood shelf.

He didn’t want to fall! That would hurt!

Sunny tried pulling himself up and felt tears gathering in his eye at the fruitless attempt. Why was he so weak!?

CRACK.

Sunny’s eye widened. The shelf came out of the cabinet, slipping out from where it had been installed. As Sunny fell, the bottles stored on it also came tumbling down, crashing onto the floor just as Sunny did.

Bottles hit the floor, some of their lids flying off at the impact. Pills scattered around a disoriented Sunny, who hit the ground loudly. As Sunny lay, dazed, he didn’t pick up on the sudden thud in the other room.

Sunny sniffled. He began to cry. It wasn’t only because of the pain–no, it was mostly because of how useless he felt. He couldn’t even grab a bottle. One. Bottle. He tried to do one thing and completely failed, and now he made a mess.

Why was he so pathetic–?

“SUNNY!?”

…That didn’t sound good.

Loud footsteps drew near before a sharp intake of air sounded throughout the room. Sunny remained on his back, tears trailing down his cheek as he whimpered. He hated that he was seen like this. He was so weak and useless. It was embarrassing. He couldn’t stop crying. He just wanted to go to bed.

“No…no no no–!” His brother’s voice was clear. Sunny opened his eye, not realizing he had shut it. Hero loomed directly over him, expression pulled into something unsettling. Sunny hiccupped through his tears, attempting to get up despite the pain in his back.

Hero crouched down, mumbling to himself so quickly that Sunny couldn’t pick up what he was saying. Hero sat beside Sunny, reaching out and gently bringing him into his arms. Sunny didn’t fight back, merely wincing in pain.

Hero began to rock them both back and forth, and Sunny tried to focus more on his brother’s expression. He could see a bit better now since the light in the living room had been turned on and the door was left open. Still…he couldn’t gather what was going on.

This whole thing was stupid. Sunny worried Hero for no reason again. Usually, Hero would say something at this point, probably scold him for getting hurt, but…

He was just staring at nothing. Hero's eyes welled with tears, completely unfocused. Sunny wiped at his own face, stifling a hiccup. He waited for Hero to say something audible. Sunny was growing nervous at the lack of response. Was he in big trouble…? He did make a big mess…

Finally, after a few minutes of tense silence, Hero spoke up.

“Why…?” Hero stroked Sunny’s cheek, voice bordering on hysterical. “I don’t understand. I just don’t understand. I–I thought–why–” Hero choked on his words, eyes wide and intently trained on Sunny. “Do you really hate me that much?”

…What? Sunny grew confused. What was his brother talking about?

“Am I that awful? All I’ve done is protect you and take care of you…why would you try to leave me!? Sunny, you know I can’t handle that! Do you want me to die!? Is that it!? You just want to see me suffer!?”

What? Sunny was just trying to get some medicine, why was he so upset? Sunny didn’t like it when his brother was like this.

“If you really can’t stand living, why didn’t you just tell me?” Hero suddenly began to laugh, squeezing Sunny tightly. “Obviously you like it here, so that means it’s something else. Is your brain being mean? Is it stopping you from being happy? I understand. I’ve felt that way before, but you fixed it for me. I–I can fix it for you too!”

What’s going on? Sunny’s tears slowed purely due to puzzlement. His body still ached from the fall, and he felt a bit dizzy. He was trying to understand Hero, but it sounded like a bunch of nonsense.

“We’re a family, and families stick together! If you want to die so badly, then I’ll join you! How about that? It’s lonely to go alone. I don’t want you to ever feel lonely, Sunny.”

Die? What? Sunny didn’t want to die. Why did Hero think that? Sunny tried to focus, tried to think–

Hero continued to cradle Sunny close with one arm, using the other to reach out and grab a handful of the pills spilled onto the ground. “You’re my precious little brother, Sunny. I love you so much I could kill us both. I’m willing to do that for you.”

Sunny wracked his brain, trying to figure out what was going on. The sudden talk of death and Hero’s weird tone of voice all threw him off. He tried to think about what could be happening, but all he could see was Hero grabbing more pills–

Oh.

“Don’t worry about a thing, Sunny! I’ll do it first so you know it’s not scary. Though, I guess you were already going to do it on your own…” Hero rapidly shook his head. “No, that was just a mistake on your part. You know I would’ve joined you. You were just waiting for me to come in to start!”

“I…no…not…” Sunny worked to get his voice functional, trying to explain what was really going on. It was all just a misunderstanding!

“Hm…we probably need a lot of water. Looks like you didn’t get any.” Hero chuckled fondly, placing down his handful of pills and ruffling Sunny’s hair. “Silly, how could you forget something like that?”

“H–Hero–!” Sunny reached up and grabbed his brother's collar, panicking. “Stop!”

“…Stop?” Hero tilted his head. “Why? Isn’t this what you wanted? Don’t lie to me, Sunny.” Hero’s voice dropped, eyes narrowing. “Are you trying to trick me? Get me to stop then you’ll go and do it on your own? That’s selfish, Sunny. You can’t leave me and expect me to stay behind.”

“No…I…don’t want…” Sunny coughed, and Hero’s eyes widened, straightening him up more and patting his back. Sunny didn’t like being treated like such a child, but at this point, he was used to it. It was beginning to feel normal.

“What is it? Just use your words. I’m all ears. Your big brother’s here for you.” Hero soothed, tone much lighter than before. Sunny felt himself relax, relieved that Hero was going to listen.

“Don’t want…to die. Want…to sleep.” Sunny worked to keep speaking, avoiding eye contact and fidgeting. “Couldn’t…reach…” Sunny lifted an arm, pointing at the cabinet above the sink. “…Fell.”

“So…you were just trying to get your sleeping medicine?” Hero tilted his head, blinking slowly. “That…makes more sense. I…I can’t believe I came to such a horrible conclusion. God, I’m…I’m stupid. I probably scared you, didn’t I?” Hero hugged Sunny tightly, taking a shuddering breath. “I really need to stop assuming the worst, especially when it comes to you. I should know better. Of course you would never try to leave me like that. After all, you wouldn’t want me to die, right?”

Sunny tensed, stiffly nodding.

“I’m sorry if I got a little upset, but…you can’t blame me. It’s only natural I would assume something like that after walking into such a mess. Do you know how scared I was? How hurt I was? I couldn’t believe it. I felt so betrayed. You know how much I care about you, and yet…”

Hero sighed. “I worry about you, Sunny. The littlest things hurt you. You should know better than to put yourself in danger. You can’t do these things on your own, okay? Let me take care of everything.” Hero sounded disappointed, words scolding.

“But I–”

“No buts.” Hero shook his head, stern. “Just ask me for help next time. I know you didn’t want to bother me, but you don’t have to concern yourself with that. I promised to take care of you, and that includes waking up in the middle of the night to help you feel better. I won’t be angry.” Hero then smiled. “I’m not mad, see? I just got really scared for a moment.”

Sunny’s eye watered. “I…I can do it…” Sunny wanted to do something by himself for once. He felt inept.

“No, you can’t.” Hero pet Sunny’s head, then turned Sunny so he could look around the room. “See? You couldn’t even do something as simple as getting some medicine. You can’t do anything. And that’s perfectly okay! It’s normal for a kid like you to not know how to do easy things. That’s what I’m here for.”

Sunny started to cry again. “I…but I…I’m old enough…” Wasn’t he…almost seventeen? Already seventeen? He couldn’t remember, but still, he wasn’t close to a child!

“I’m happy you feel so mature.” Hero gently pinched Sunny’s cheek. “But you’re still way too young to be worrying about all this stuff. Don’t you want to have fun and relax every day? You can’t do that as an adult.”

“I–I am…I am not…young–”

“Sunny.” Hero used a warning tone. Sunny felt the hair on the back of his neck stand. “I don’t appreciate you talking back like this. I’m not in the mood right now to argue…not when you’re injured.” Hero’s gaze suddenly softened, and he began to check Sunny over. “Right…that fall must have hurt. Are you okay?”

Sunny opened his mouth, then closed it. He felt a buzzing in his mind and realized he shouldn’t continue to protest. That would do him no good. “It hurt…a little…”

“You poor thing…” Hero slowly got to his feet, cradling Sunny. “Hm…I think I know what might help you feel better.”

Sunny perked up. Hero saw that and chuckled. He brought Sunny back to his bedroom, gently setting him on the bed. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” Sunny nodded, watching Hero leave the room. He then turned to his plushies beside him and picked one up, hugging it to his chest. It was his favorite one–a black cat plushy named Mewo.

Hero soon returned, arms behind his back. He walked forward, and with a dramatic flourish, presented something to Sunny. Sunny immediately reached out, making grabby hands toward the new plushy. It was a bunny this time–a pink bunny. It reminded Sunny of something, but he couldn’t pinpoint what.

“Here you go.” Hero handed it over, smiling tenderly at Sunny’s excitement.

Sunny now held a plush in each arm, hugging both close. They were soft. It was nice. He felt happy.

“I’ll go get you some medicine.” Hero ruffled Sunny’s hair before leaving the room again. Sunny just looked at his new plushy, squeezing it. It really was familiar. He liked it. It made him feel warm.

It…

Sunny sniffled.

A friend…

“Here we are.” Hero came back, sitting on the bed beside Sunny and passing over the pill first. Sunny popped it into his mouth, before taking the cup of water and drinking, successfully taking the medicine.

Hero placed the plastic cup on the desk beside the bed, before standing up. Sunny got up for a moment too to get under the covers, snuggling underneath while holding his two plushies. He had to place Mewo down, though. It was too hard to hold two and sleep.

“All comfortable?”

Sunny nodded, and Hero pulled the blanket over him, tucking him in.

“Alright. Well, I hope you have some sweet dreams. How about I make you your favorite for breakfast? Tonight was kind of stressful, wasn’t it?”

Sunny hummed, eye drooping. Hero once again smiled, brushing some hair out of Sunny’s face affectionately.

“Goodnight, Sunny.” Hero whispered, looking back at Sunny one last time before closing the bedroom door.

Click.

Sunny flinched, not expecting the sound. He looked at the door and wondered what it could’ve been. It…sounded like a lock…

But…why would…?

Sunny’s mind became foggy, the buzzing growing louder and louder until he felt himself getting pulled into his own mind.

Sunny…

What was that?

A…dream…

It was hard to hear, but it sounded like someone was talking to him.

Wake up, Sunny!

What?

Sunny, it’s just a memory! You’re not there right now!

But…he was in his room. He was going to bed.

Take a deep breath–tell me, what does it smell like?

Smells like…hm…clean? Wait, it kind of smells like a–

Hospital.

Sunny’s eye popped open.

He opened his mouth, a strangled sound coming out. He tried to make coherent noise, but it ended up being gibberish.

Sunny! Sunny, it’s okay! It was just a dream!

No, that wasn’t a dream! That wasn’t a dream at all!

Yes, it was. It was only a memory. That’s all. Look around! You’re not there anymore.

Sunny found himself glancing around and saw a familiar hospital room. He looked down and noticed someone resting their head on the bed he was laying on.

Kel…

That was Kel.

That’s right. Kel’s here. Everything is okay. Just take deep breaths.

Deep breaths. He could do that easily.

Sunny breathed in, then out.

In, then out.

There. That’s better.

“What…was that?” Sunny rubbed his throat, whispering. He was trying to get his voice working properly again, and felt that talking to Omori was good practice.

You just had a dream, that’s all.

A dream? But it…he remembered it. He could vividly remember the exact dread he had felt. That click of the door... “It was real.”

Well…

Sunny felt a chill and stiffened. His eye drew toward the door of the room, feeling a rising sense of dread. It was irrational…it had to be. He shouldn’t be scared.

Look, Sunny. I’m trying to keep these memories at bay as much as I can, but it’s hard. I’m remembering stuff I don’t want to as well. I think it’s just going to keep happening.

He’s going to remember more?

It’s okay. See? Kel’s right there. No one can get us if Kel’s there.

“…Right.” Sunny reached out, grabbing onto one of Kel’s hands with both of his own. He held it, feeling instantly calmer. He turned over the hand, feeling the callouses on Kel’s skin. As he did so, he lifted his own hand and studied it, staring at the pale, unblemished skin. Sunny frowned.

Kel has big hands.

Sunny’s frown deepened. He maneuvered a bit to get his palm up against Kel’s, seeing the difference in size. He felt distinctly unhappy about it. If what Kel said is true, and five years had passed…

Why did Sunny still look the same? He hated that he looked the same. He hated that he felt the same. Nothing had changed for him, yet for everyone else…everything did.

Sunny wanted to be different. He didn’t want to be that same person he was for nine years, sleeping his life away.

Sunny hadn’t changed.

Because someone didn’t let him.

Sunny…

How long had he been a child?

When was the last time he went to school? When was the last time he learned anything?

How was he supposed to exist in the world without knowing how? Any notion he had about how things worked was untrustworthy. He had no idea what knowledge came from reality and what came from Hero.

Not even Omori could help with that. As much as Omori preserved his mind, keeping him somewhat rational…

They still existed in the same space.

They shared perception.

Omori couldn’t grow past him, and so in turn…Sunny remained as he was.

Blind to the world.

Unused to life.

We…can learn now, can’t we? It's not too late.

“I’m twenty-one…aren’t I?” Or was he twenty? His birthday was in July...

Date. What’s the date. What's the date!? Why did no one tell him the date!? Why are they hiding it from him!?

The date? We could go find a calendar.

No. He’s not leaving the room. He can’t. He can’t.

Just wake up Kel, then. He should know.

But…Kel must be exhausted. He spent years searching…that couldn’t have been easy. Sunny wondered if Kel slept well. He had dark bags under his eyes, which didn’t bring any comfort. Kel must be worn out. It’s no good waking him for something so stupid.

Then, we ask tomorrow?

Sunny leaned over, looking down at Kel’s watch. It was…four in the morning. That’s not bad. Just a few more hours and Kel will wake up. Sunny laid back down, still keeping a hold of Kel’s hand. He scooted closer to where Kel was resting his head, pulling Kel’s hand to his chest and curling up.

He hoped he wouldn’t dream again.

Memories…

Memories were unwanted. He wanted to have an empty mind. It’s not like he didn’t know that certain things were going to spark recognition, but couldn’t he be blind for a little while longer? In the future, he’s going to have moments where he’s dragged right back home.

…Home?

No, that wasn’t his home. It wasn’t ever his home.

We can deal with it all later. You don’t have to think about it.

Sunny let out a sigh, focusing on the warmth of Kel’s hand.

Tomorrow…would be different.

For now, he should sleep. Thinking was difficult.

Goodnight, Sunny.

“Goodnight…Omori.”

****

“Are you sure you’re ready? I don’t want you getting overwhelmed, or uncomfortable.” Kel watched Sunny’s expression carefully, feeling Sunny grip his hand more tightly.

“I’m…okay.” Sunny nodded to himself, and Kel’s gaze softened.

“I'm glad. Just know that if things get too much, we can leave immediately.”

Honestly, Kel was just glad they made it this far. It was weird for him too to be back in Faraway after three years. There were a lot of conflicting emotions in his mind, as well as a bunch of worries and thoughts about the current situation.

The news of what happened had already spread. It was contained, thankfully, not spreading out too far. Sunny’s identity was kept secret to avoid the press or people looking for trouble…and to keep that bastard from knowing where Sunny was.

Right. Hero got away.

Kel didn’t want to think about it. Anytime he remembered that fact he became on edge, wondering if at any moment Hero would just appear and take Sunny away again–

Now’s not the time. Right now, they’re back at home. It was safe here. The whole town was now aware of the truth and would keep an eye out for stuff like that. He wondered how his parents were feeling right now.

Would they feel guilty seeing Sunny’s state? Kel sure hoped so. It might be mean to think that way, but it was only natural. After all, the police probably wouldn’t have given up so quickly if they knew what Hero had done.

Kel might be wrong about that. But still…his parents protected Hero.

And Sunny paid the price.

“Kel?” Sunny tugged on his hoodie, staring up at him questioningly. Kel managed a shaky smile, before knocking on the door three times. He realized it was a bit weird to show up so abruptly without warning, especially since he hadn't contacted them at all since leaving. But, he figured his parents would assume he’d be coming back with Sunny. It shouldn't be an issue.

“Coming!” An unfamiliar voice shouted from inside. Kel’s brows furrowed. It sounded…young? After a few seconds, the door swung open. Kel looked down to see a little girl with pigtails staring right back at him.

“…Sally?” Kel blinked in surprise. She looked much older. Figures, she was only three when he left Faraway. He wondered briefly if she would remember him.

“Oh!” Sally recoiled, eyes wide in shock. She looked directly at Kel and beamed. “You’re back! You came back!” She rushed forward, tackling Kel and hopping up and down. “Kel! Kel! Where were you! I missed you!”

Kel chuckled, patting her head and crouching down. “Yeah? You remember me? Aren’t you smart.” He reached forward and pinched her cheeks, and she blew a raspberry.

“Of course I do.” Her words came out funny, and she pouted. Kel let go of her face, and she patted her cheeks twice. “I have amazing memory!”

Kel rose a brow. Sally pursed her lips.

“Well…mommy and daddy also have photos…and they talk about you…and make you food…”

Kel blinked. That last sentence–

“Anyways!” She suddenly jumped back, looking directly at Sunny who had been standing awkwardly beside Kel. Kel stood back up. Sunny didn’t grab Kel’s hand again, staring curiously at Sally.

Sally put her hands on her hips, leaning toward Sunny. She hummed loudly, tilting her head dramatically. She then shook her head. “You don’t look like a ghost to me.”

Kel froze. He was dumbfounded. He worriedly glanced at Sunny and saw his expression was blank.

“Kel, why’d you hide him? That’s not fair! I want to play with him too!” Sally whined, and Kel nervously chuckled.

“Sally…why do you think he’s a ghost?”

“Cus’ he’s dead. Duh.”

Kel felt physical pain at that. He ended up being the one to grab Sunny’s hand, finding it comforting. Had his parents not told her Sunny was alive? How…how could they? Kel grit his teeth.

“Hm…” Sally narrowed her eyes, and without warning, rushed at Sunny. Kel jumped, reaching out to prevent her from getting close but was too late. Sally wrapped her arms around Sunny, looking up at him. “You’re not a ghost! Ghosts can’t be hugged! I know that!” Sally smiled brightly, giggling. “Great! Ghosts are scary. I don’t like them very much.”

Kel was terrified Sunny was going to react negatively to Sally’s approach, but instead, Sunny just looked down at Sally, almost studying her. After a moment, something flashed past his gaze, and he lifted his free hand.

Sunny pat Sally’s head. She hopped up into the hand repeatedly. “Since you’re not a ghost, you’re a pirate, right? I like your eyepatch. Can I have one? Ooo, have you walked the plank before? Is that why you were dead? That’s so cool. Can I try walking the plank? I promise I can swim!”

Kel made himself let go of Sunny’s hand, knowing he had been gripping it way too tightly. Sally obviously didn’t know better and was just excited. “Sally, this is Sunny. He is…your brother.” Kel decided that was the best approach to get her to stop talking about death. It was the truth. Sunny was still a part of the family.

Sunny reacted first, turning to look at Kel in surprise. Kel worried for a moment if he overstepped his bounds, but Sunny merely turned back to Sally, and…smiled? Kel bit his tongue, feeling his heart ache. It was such a small smile, and yet it looked so genuine. Kel almost wanted to cry. He was way too emotional lately. He needed to get it together.

“Sunny? My brother?” Sally blinked owlishly. “I knew that! Mommy showed me pictures! Wait, but if you’re Sunny, is the other Sunny your twin? The one that’s a ghost?”

“Sally, there is no ghost Sunny. Sunny has been alive this whole time.”

“Oh.” Sally was still clinging to Sunny, staring up at him with wide, sparkling eyes. “Did you go on an adventure or something? Can you bring me next time? I promise I’ll be good!”

“…Okay.” Sunny nodded, and Sally cheered. Kel was surprised at how well Sunny was handling the fact that she thought he was dead. Didn’t Sunny realize what that meant? Or, did he just not care?

“Awesome! Sunny’s my favorite now!” Sally pulled back and turned to Kel, making a face and sticking her tongue out. “You’re my second favorite! Try harder.” She huffed, turning away proudly. Kel didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“Hey, uh…where’s mom and dad?” Kel finally took his shoes off, and Sunny did the same. Sally tilted her head.

“Huh? Oh, mommy went to get groceries, and daddy’s sleeping.”

“Of course.” Kel sighed. “You’re watching the house on your own?”

“Well…” Sally rocked on her feet. “Mommy told daddy to watch me. She was very serious about it! But daddy got tired and said he would take a short nap. He said to not tell mommy!” Sally put a finger to her lips and made a ‘shhh’ sound. “You guys can’t tell either!”

“…I don’t know how to respond to that.” Kel felt more disappointed than anything. Sally’s six. His dad just left her to wander the house unsupervised? “What were you doing, then?”

“Drawing.” Sally grinned. “Wanna see? I’m really good at it!” Without waiting for a response, she grabbed Sunny’s hand and began tugging him, pointing toward the couch. There was a table in front of it, and Kel could see some bright colors even from a distance away. “Come on!”

Sunny followed her without protest. Kel was thankful Sunny reacted well to Sally. Maybe it was because she was a kid? 

“Look!” Sally presented loose pieces of paper with random stick figure drawings. There were some blobs with ears too. “Aren’t they great? I worked really hard on them!” She bounced a little in place, before pushing Sunny toward the couch. “Sit down! Let me show you all of them!”

Sunny followed directions, slowly sitting on the couch and keeping good posture. He watched Sally gather all of the scattered papers together, organizing them into one pile. She then turned around and started to show them off one by one, describing in detail what each of them was meant to portray.

Kel remained a short distance away, frowning. He was angry. His parents told Sally Sunny was dead. If Kel had been here, he would’ve never let that happen. But he left. Honestly, he felt a little bad about missing a part of Sally’s childhood, but…

Kel watched Sunny pay close attention to Sally’s words, playing along with her antics. Kel found himself smiling, his irritation easing.

He made the right choice. Those years of constant stress were worth it. Now he could see Sunny smile again, even if it was barely visible.

“I’m gonna go wake up dad.” Kel moved to leave the room, then paused. He felt eyes on him. Kel turned, seeing Sunny looking directly back at him. Kel tilted his head. He felt nervous for some reason. “…Sunny?”

Sunny didn’t say anything and just continued to stare. Kel was worried. Why was Sunny looking at him like that?  “Are you alright?”

Sunny stiffly nodded, dragging his gaze back to Sally. Sally hadn’t noticed the interaction, too absorbed in her own storytelling.

Kel didn’t really feel like leaving the room after that. He tried thinking about what that look meant, but couldn’t figure it out. He felt stupid, honestly. Maybe with time, he would learn Sunny’s silent cues again.

“…I’ll just wait until mom gets back.” Kel decided to join Sunny on the couch, but as he went to sit down, the door suddenly clicked. Kel turned and saw a woman coming through the door. “Guess we don’t have to wait after all,” Kel mumbled under his breath.

The first thing his mom did was call her husband’s name loudly. “I can’t carry this all by myself!” She slid her shoes off, almost losing her balance with the amount of bags in her hands. Kel found himself going forward.

Kel silently stood in front of her, before taking some of the bags. His mom wasn’t looking up, shutting the door behind herself. “Thank you, dear. Oh, where’s Sally? Did you guys do something fun while I was gone?”

“…Mom.” Kel finally spoke up, watching her freeze at his voice. She slowly turned and stared up at him. Her eyes widened.

“Kel?” The name left her mouth as a whisper, hesitant as if she couldn’t believe her eyes. Kel nodded, looking away momentarily. He couldn’t bring himself to smile. “Oh, Kel…I didn’t know you…were coming home. I’m so glad…” Her eyes welled with tears, and she quickly scurried to put the bags aside, taking the ones from Kel’s hands as well.

After placing them down, she approached Kel as if to hug him, but stopped. She wavered. “I…”

“We don’t need to talk about it right now.” Kel sighed, relaxing his jaw. He was grinding his teeth again. “I think…you’ll want to see him.”

“Huh?” His mom’s eyes widened. “You mean…” She turned, finally noticing the other two in the room.

“Hi, mommy!” Sally bounded up to her. “Mommy, did you know Sunny’s a pirate? Isn’t that awesome? Why didn’t you tell me my brother was a pirate?” Sally pouted, turning around to make sure Sunny had been following her. Sunny remained a few steps behind, staring at his mom with a vacant expression.

His mom brought a hand to her mouth, trembling. She took a step forward, but Kel grabbed her shoulder, preventing her from going forward. Kel watched Sunny’s expression, checking for any sign of distress. But, he was unreadable. Kel frowned.

“Honey, you…you look so…” His mom’s voice was stuffy, words strained. “I…”

Kel dropped his hand. He would step in if he saw Sunny getting overwhelmed. For now, Sunny seemed alright.

Sunny remained still. He didn’t move and didn’t look away. His mom eventually started to approach again, albeit slowly. Each step was nervous and probably weighed down by shame and guilt. She was looking one of her son’s in the eye–

One she had proclaimed dead.

“Can I…?” His mom’s expression was breaking. Her voice was wobbly. “Can I hug you…Sunny?”

Sunny stared silently for a moment longer, then nodded. His mom let out a sob, then finally drew close enough to pull him into an embrace. She shook, holding Sunny close and whispering apologies. Sunny raised his arms and returned the hug, resting his head against her.

“…Mommy?” Sally tilted her head, brows furrowed. “Why are you crying…?”

Kel gently brought Sally to his side, crouching down and bringing her attention to him. “Sally, mom is just…really happy to see Sunny again.”

“Oh. But...you cry when you’re sad, right?”

Kel looked away. “Mom…is sad, too. Because she really missed Sunny. We should leave them alone for a little bit, okay?”

Sally pursed her lips, nodding.

Kel stood back up, this time picking up Sally too. She smiled brightly, reaching up to touch his hair. “Aren’t you a boy? Why is your hair so long?”

“Boys can have long hair too, Sally.” Kel hummed, watching her attempt to reach his bun and undo it. She gazed at him in awe, processing the new information with an open mouth.

“Wow…” Sally said with wonder, “I didn’t know that. Hey, can I see how long your hair is? Can I braid your hair?”

“…You can do that later.” Kel chuckled, keeping Sally entertained while also watching Sunny and his mom interact in his peripheral. He was alert, even if to an outsider the situation didn’t require it.

Kel didn’t fully trust his parents anymore. He knew they loved Sunny, but…

He noticed the two pull apart, Sally still chattering away by his ear. Kel narrowed his eyes, straining to hear their conversation–well, one-sided conversation. Sunny didn’t speak, nod, or shake his head, merely staring with no perceivable emotion. It was concerning.

“How about I get your father?” His mom spoke, then stiffened. She watched Sunny carefully, and seeing he didn’t react negatively to the title, sighed in relief. Kel saw her leave the room and noticed Sunny turning his head to watch her leave.

Kel walked up to Sunny, still holding Sally in his arms. “Hey, you holding up okay…?” Kel trailed off, noticing that Sunny was intently staring at something. Kel followed the gaze and noticed a picture on a shelf beside the hallway door. Kel squinted.

…What.

Why…the hell did they put that photo up?

Why did they keep it there despite the truth coming out!?

Kel swiftly put Sally down, and she almost lost her balance at his hurried movement. Kel looked up and realized with dread that Sunny had already reached the frame, somehow moving so silently Kel couldn’t even hear.

Kel rushed to his side, seeing him pick up the picture with shaking hands. Kel grimaced, stopping beside him and remaining still. “Sunny…?” Kel kept his voice low and cautious, unable to see Sunny’s face.

Suddenly, Sunny backed up with a trembling body, still gripping the frame. Kel followed nervously, hands raised in case Sunny fell. He was shaking so badly.

“Sunny, it’s alright, I’m right here.” Kel really didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t believe they had up a photo of that bastard and Sunny together. It wasn’t there when Kel lived at home, so they must have put it up after he left.

Sunny started whispering. Kel blinked, trying to read Sunny’s lips. It was broken sentences that Kel couldn’t understand. Sunny’s expression suddenly shifted, mouth pulling into a wide, angry scowl. He was still shaking, obviously stressed out. But despite that, he lifted his hand and chucked the photo to the ground, breaking the frame and shattering the glass.

Kel quickly picked Sally up by the armpits, depositing her somewhere a distance away and telling her to stay still. He then rushed to Sunny’s side, still not touching him, but making his presence known. “I–I’m sorry that photo was there. You…you shouldn’t have to look at it.”

Sunny turned to Kel, eye wide. He was breathing erratically, and for a moment, Kel thought that Sunny looked more like a cornered animal than a person. His entire body was tensed and hunched over as he backed away from Kel.

Kel wanted to cry. He couldn’t stand seeing Sunny like this. If just a photo scared him this badly…

“Sunny, it's me, Kel. You’re at home in Faraway right now. No one will hurt you here. I won’t let them. That…that bastard won’t be able to get you, okay?”

Sunny’s eye narrowed. “Is…he caught?”

Kel slumped. He didn’t want to lie to Sunny, not after everything that’s happened. But telling the truth here…wouldn’t it just stress him out more? “He’s–”

Sunny stomped his foot. “Don’t. Lie.” His tone of voice was different from how it was earlier, and a thought was rising in the back of Kel’s mind. He felt like he was forgetting something important about Sunny. Something that would explain the sudden aggressive behavior.

“…Okay.” Kel backed down. “He…got away. I’m sorry. But you don’t have to worry! Everyone is keeping an eye out, and there are people looking for him right as we speak. There’s no reason to worry.” Even Kel didn’t believe his own words. It could be irrational, but currently, Kel felt on edge. He was worried Hero was around, just waiting to ruin everything again.

Sunny’s lips wobbled, and he suddenly sniffled. He lifted his hand and wiped at his eye, shaking his head and murmuring to himself. He continued to glance around the room, gaze resting on different objects warily. He even turned to Sally at one point, studying her with a cautious expression. Soon the anger in his expression started to fade. He no longer hunched over, standing up straight–albeit unsteadily.

After a few moments of standing still, Sunny suddenly stumbled forward, reaching out to Kel. Kel slowly approached, letting Sunny grab onto him first.

“What happened?” His mom and dad both rushed into the room. They saw the scene, and his mom brought a hand to her mouth, horrified. “I…”

“You two...” Kel grit his teeth, glaring at his parents. He scooped Sunny into his arms, and Sunny latched onto his hoodie, burying his head into it and continuing to shiver. Kel could even hear his teeth chattering.

“I–I didn’t–” His mom pushed at his dad, telling him to get the broom. Sally watched the scene from afar, staring at Sunny with concern and curiosity. “I forgot that was up. I’m so sorry. I–I took down all the other photos but I must have missed that one. I'm so, so sorry.”

There had been more photos? Kel took deep breaths, trying to calm down. While he did that, he noticed that Sunny was mimicking him. It made his heart ache. Everything did. He had no idea how to handle what he was feeling. His mom obviously wasn’t lying, especially with how pale and shaken she looked. But even then, Kel still felt anger.

Logically, he shouldn’t be mad. It was an accident. But even after rationalizing his mother’s actions, he couldn’t get rid of the lingering emotion. Right now, staring at his mother, he wanted to yell. He wanted to shout at his parents, and fully emphasize just how badly they’d screwed up.

Just like they screwed up everything else.

“The room?” Kel’s voice was strained, barely contained rage just under the surface. His mom clasped her hands together, before taking the broom his dad handed to her.

“It’s…got three beds, still. But Sally took, um…” She glanced at Sunny, before looking away, ashamed. “Sally took the bed on the far right. Sunny’s still in the middle.”

“Great.” Kel didn’t bother staying any longer, carrying Sunny with him as he left the room. He could hear Sally’s high-pitched, worried tone, followed by his dad's deeper one. Sally was probably asking questions.  Kel was glad she stayed behind. He might snap at her by accident.

Kel got to the front of his bedroom and felt a wave of nostalgia, followed by another bout of irritation. He at least felt better knowing that the right side of the room was probably filled with Sally’s stuff now, hopefully erasing all of that bastard's presence.

“I’m going into our room right now. Do you want to see it?” Kel spoke softly, managing to open the bedroom door before adjusting Sunny into a more comfortable position. Sunny nodded meekly, turning away from Kel’s hoodie and studying the room.

Kel blinked. His own side really was how he left it. Kel felt a pang in his chest, closing the door behind himself and walking more fully in.

“…Purple.”

“Very purple.” Kel agreed, staring at Sally’s side of the room. There was a galaxy theme to everything, using light pinks and purples and blues. It was pretty, at least, and wasn’t obnoxious to look at despite being childish.

Sunny’s bed also looked the same, that plain white rug still underneath. Kel walked further into the room and noticed Sunny staring at something intently. Kel followed his gaze and saw the GameCube.

“Do you…want to play?”

Sunny gave a curt nod.

Kel walked over to his old T.V and placed Sunny down, before getting everything set up for them to play. The theme for Super Smash Bros played, and Sunny looked entranced. Kel handed a remote to him, feeling a bit odd.

With what had just happened…maybe this was a good distraction. That was a coping skill, right? Distract from the feelings. Maybe that would be good for Kel too. Play the game and let his emotions be processed in the back of his mind.

Sunny fiddled with the remote, clicking the buttons and turning it over. Kel realized he probably didn’t know how to use it. “Here…” Kel started guiding Sunny and felt a peaceful atmosphere begin to fall over them both.

Kel’s mind wandered a little as they played, thinking about everything they needed to do. Most importantly was Sunny’s surgery. They shouldn’t leave his eye like that for any longer than necessary. He’ll talk to his parents about that later.

…While he’s at it, he can knock some sense into them. He understands this is all overwhelming, and that they genuinely thought the two had been dead, but that’s no excuse. Their mistakes would impact Sunny. They were all new to this, including Kel. Not knowing how to help Sunny didn’t mean they couldn’t try.

Even Sally managed to do better than them.

...

After the surgery, they need to shop for Sunny. His old clothes would probably still fit, but Kel figured Sunny wouldn't enjoy wearing stuff from when he was younger. Maybe he can meet Basil and Aubrey before then, and they could all go together? Kel wasn’t sure. He’d ask Sunny about it first. It’d only been three days since Kel got him back, and Sunny must be overwhelmed. Aubrey would be alright, but Basil…

Kel was worried about Basil. He had been for the past few years. Aubrey was there to help him, at least. Kel honestly had no idea how Basil would react upon seeing Sunny in person. Hopefully, Aubrey would remind him to not be too excited and to give Sunny lots of space.

“Got you.”

Kel blinked. He glanced at Sunny, and even though Sunny's expression was neutral, Kel felt a smug aura radiating from him. Kel rose a brow, gently bumping into Sunny. “I’m just a bit rusty, okay? I haven’t played in a while. Soon I’ll be winning every game!”

Sunny shook his head, focusing more. His tongue stuck out a little as he mashed buttons. Kel decided to focus on the game too, occasionally glancing over at Sunny to see a more lively expression than before.

That gave him hope. These moments of normal would probably be their saving grace. Kel wanted to enjoy them to the fullest and ignore everything else, at least for just a moment.

Right now, he’s with Sunny again. He should focus on that.

The possible future was much brighter than the past. And even if it hurt him to be positive again, right now, he needed to be.

If not for himself, then for Sunny.

“I win.” Sunny whispered, turning to Kel and tilting his head slightly.

“Ugh…I suck. But not for long! I’ll win the next round for sure!”

The two continued to play, absorbed in their own world.

Just for a few hours, they were in a bubble–unaffected by the past or the present. For a few hours, they got to be normal, with nothing else weighing down on their backs.

****

It had burned.

It wasn’t unexpected. Bleach tends to burn.

Hero adjusted his glasses, trying to get used to them. It didn’t help that he was wearing green contacts too, which he also wasn’t used to.

This time he had done a much more thorough change. He’d dyed his hair blond, changed his eye color, and got fake glasses. His outfit was different from before too. Instead of a turtleneck, he wore a scarf to hide his neck. The scar was mostly faded, but it was still visible. Better to keep it hidden.

That was also why he was wearing a light jacket over his white tank top. Hero needed to hide his arms. Before he hadn’t minded showing his hands, giving people a random story about how he got them. But now he needed to hide anything that could be defining. So, he wore fingerless gloves.

He would get used to the change eventually. There was no reason to complain so much. With that thought, he tucked his tank top into his jeans, shoving his boots on and letting out a small sigh.

Hero?

He straightened up, looking around the shabby motel room. 

Hero!

Whispering. Hero grimaced, feeling his heart rate picking up. The whispering had always been inaudible before–almost sounding like static in his ears. Recently, though…words were becoming clear. It was usually a bunch of jumbled sounds, but sometimes, he could hear clearly.

Sometimes…he could see something.

It wasn’t just the flowers anymore.

Hero took a deep breath, electing to ignore his rising stress. Right now, he needed to focus. He needed to go to Keith and get any information he could. It was the only thing he could think of. Although it might be risky to visit him, as they had a connection before…

Keith was smart. Hero had faith in him.

Well…he was smart but way too trusting. Even if the police asked him questions, he wouldn’t say a word. After all, they were helping abusers. Hero already laid out everything to Keith and knew that no matter what, Keith would remain on Hero’s side.

Liar!

Hero rose a brow, reaching for the front door handle. Liar? That’s new. He’s not a liar. He’s just…twisting the truth. It’s all for the best outcome. If Hero told Keith everything, then he wouldn’t be willing to help. It was only natural he had to lie a little. There’s nothing wrong with it–it was all for Sunny.

Help!

Hero froze. He glanced behind him, and something black flashed in his vision. Something was there. Hero felt his hands start to shake, and willed himself to quickly leave the room and get back on the road. He had to ignore it. He can’t be distracted. Sunny needs him.

Hero!

Hero opened the door, and ignoring the flash of black in the corner of his vision, walked out of the room. He gripped the room key, feeling a buzzing under his skin. His skin…itched.

Hero sucked air through his teeth, feeling the urge to scratch at himself. He hadn’t felt that in a while. Was it because he was…ignoring it? Ignoring the thing trying to get his attention? All it would do was distract him from what he needed to do. He couldn’t afford to waste time.

Please!

It was a garbled voice. Hero bit the inside of his cheek, continuing to walk as if unbothered. The flowers were still around, but at least those weren’t so annoying.

Why?

Hero pinched the bridge of his nose. It was frustrating. That incessant noise was getting to him. The random streaks of black he would see didn’t help either. He figured that’s where the whispers were coming from. If he could get rid of that…

Brother?

Hero’s eyes widened. He lifted his head, almost hurting his neck at the speed of which he turned to the side, trying to catch the image of the black blur. For just a moment, he could see it.

A silhouette. A familiar one.

That…

Hero!

Half of its head was gone. It disappeared from Hero’s sight the moment he focused on it, but the short moment was enough.

He felt sick. That…was that supposed to be Sunny? What the hell? Was his brain that dead set on screwing with him? He knows he messed up, and he knows he failed Sunny, but did he really have to see something like that?

…He did.

Hero turned back forward, the image etched into his mind.

It was a warning. It was a reminder.

That could happen to Sunny. It could’ve happened to Sunny. While he was out of Hero’s protection, anything could happen. Sunny was outside now.

Sunny was unsafe.

Sunny could die.

Hero shoved his hands into his pockets, the itch disappearing the more he spiraled in his thoughts.

This was all his fault. He was stupid. He was a horrible big brother. He was the scum of the earth. Until he got Sunny back, he would be nothing. He had no purpose if not to protect Sunny and care for him.

The thought of being too late haunted him. What if…what if he just found Sunny dead?

No. He refused. That wouldn’t happen. That can’t happen. Sunny can’t die. Sunny can’t die. Sunny–

Hero took a deep breath, pulling himself back. He caught himself just before falling into a complete panic attack. He refocused, going over what he needed to do repeatedly in his mind, almost obsessively.

Anything to keep his mind off of his fears.

Anything to keep him moving.

Go to Keith, gather any information he can.

He needed to be fast. He can’t waste time.

Sunny was waiting for him.

Hero had to find him.

Hero?

He had to find him soon.

Chapter Text

Kel walked out of the bathroom, sighing as he recalled the conversation he had with his mom earlier. Although it went…okay, it was still draining. It was tiring. He felt like she wasn’t listening.

“Don't you trust us?” His mom sounded hurt, and Kel became frustrated.

“Look, I even did this at the hospital. Sunny won’t eat anything that I haven’t taken a bite of first, and I’m pretty sure you can figure out why. It has nothing to do with you. I don’t know why you keep taking everything so personally.”

His mom recoiled, denial on the tip of her tongue. But she couldn’t defend that piece of shit, not if she wanted Kel to stay here.

Kel opened the bedroom door, seeing Sunny sitting silently on his bed, mouth moving. Kel’s gaze softened. Sunny seemed to have developed the habit of mumbling to himself. Was it a way of self-soothing? Kel wasn’t sure.

“Hey, Sunny…” Kel sat on his own bed, looking across at Sunny. Sunny snapped out of his thoughts, glancing up. Kel thought he had something to say, but nothing came out. He just stared, and Sunny stared back.

“Well, um…Sally’s going to be sleeping in my mom and dad’s room for now…just in case.” It was safer that way. Kel knew Sunny was having nightmares, and when they were in the hospital he often woke up to Sunny holding his hands for comfort. Now that Sunny knew that bastard hadn’t actually been caught, the nightmares would probably be even worse.

“Okay…” Sunny whispered. The pajamas he wore were too big, but he had refused to wear his old ones. Kel understood and lent his own, even if it did look a little funny.

A comfortable silence fell as the two got situated for bed. Sunny seemed to be looking around for something, somewhat dejected. Kel frowned. “Is something the matter?”

Sunny pursed his lips. He looked up at Kel and wasn’t sure what to say.

It’s alright, he won’t judge us.

But it’s embarrassing…

It’s not. We’re allowed to be scared.

Sunny fidgeted, before deciding to just throw caution in the wind. He got up and shuffled over the Kel’s side of the room, plopping down beside him. Kel paused, before going back to what he was doing. Sunny watched Kel take out his hairband, undoing his bun.

See? He’s being patient. Kel wouldn’t judge us.

Right. Sunny was just nervous. He felt childish, and that was the last thing he wanted to be. He wasn’t a kid. He wasn’t a kid–

Breathe.

Sunny took a deep breath. “I…” He couldn’t find the words. He stared intently at Kel, hoping somehow Kel would be able to read his mind. Of course, Kel couldn’t, but it looked like he was earnestly trying to.

Kel glanced down, expression focused. He was thinking deeply. Sunny scooted closer and pat the bed. “Do you…” Kel tilted his head. “Want to sleep in my bed?”

Sunny nodded.

“Okay, fine with me.” Kel smiled, moving so Sunny could get under the covers. “Just let me take this real quick and we can go to bed.”

Sunny was happy. It was embarrassing to ask, but thankfully Kel understood. Even if he was still in the same room, Sunny didn’t feel safe. He wanted to be right next to Kel where he knew nothing would happen to him.

Kel opened a drawer by his bed, and the familiar sound of rattling pierced Sunny’s ears. Sunny whipped his head around to stare at what was in Kel’s hand, and before he could even think, his body reacted.

Sunny felt his mind haze over and realized what was about to happen. Omori was going to take control. Sunny understood it was to protect him, but…Omori always went the safest route. He would take the medicine.

So Sunny didn’t let Omori take over. For the first time in a while, he pushed Omori back.

Wait–!

Sunny went to run away, to get off the bed and scramble out of the room, but he was unprepared for the sudden movement. His body gave out under him, but he lifted himself back up, trying to leave before he was noticed.

“Sunny!?”

Sunny trembled, throwing himself off the bed and onto the floor. He quickly got up and tried to steady himself, but the world around him shifted. He was falling over. His body wasn’t ready for the sudden spike of adrenalin.

Before he could faceplant, somebody caught him. Sunny’s eyes widened and he looked at the arm that was around him, keeping him steady. There was a voice speaking to him, but Sunny couldn’t understand it.

Sunny, let me–

Ringing. All he could hear was ringing. The voice in his head was drowned out. Sunny pushed at the arm, trying to get it to let go. When it didn’t, Sunny became desperate.

“Sunny, it’s too late for you to be acting like this.”

He didn’t care! He didn’t want to take those pills! He wasn’t tired–he wanted to stay up! His big brother was being mean to him again!

“Come on, you need to get to bed. Just take the medicine and go to sleep.”

No! Sunny wildly flailed around and bit down on whatever was near his face. There was a loud yelp, and his brother finally let go of him. Sunny almost tripped over his own feet trying to rush to the door. He knew he couldn’t go anywhere–he couldn’t hide. But he could at least attempt to do something about what was happening.

Sunny, stop!

Sunny refused. He wasn’t going to play along. Omori always told him to just follow what his brother said, but it was so frustrating! He didn’t want to be obedient. He just wanted to stay awake.

Sunny ran forward and noticed that the room looked a little weird. No matter. He would run to the kitchen–maybe his brother left something out by accident and he could put up a fight for once. There was a call behind him, but Sunny ignored it.

We’re not there!

What was Omori talking about? Sunny ran toward the kitchen. As he went through the living room, though, there was a strange feeling. Each step was normal, until the moment he put his foot down on the carpet.

…Huh?

Sunny, grab onto the railing!

Sunny fell through the floor. His heart pounded in his chest, and a loud buzzing in his mind made him want to vomit. Why did he go through? He was falling. He was falling and he was going to hit the ground and he was–

“Shit!”

Something warm wrapped around him, followed by a thudding sound. He still felt like he was falling, but it was slower as if he was being dragged back. After a few blurry moments, everything finally stopped moving.

Sunny took deep breaths, matching the air breathing around him. Did air breathe? Something was breathing and he could feel it. Sunny opened his eye, trying to understand what was going on despite how disoriented he was.

“It’s okay…It’s okay, I’ve got you. I–I didn’t mean to scare you like that. I just use those to get to sleep…I wasn’t going to make you take any. I…I promise, Sunny, please believe me. I wouldn’t do that to you. I…I’m so sorry…”

That’s Kel. Kel caught you.

Sunny blinked blearily, vision adjusting to the darkness around him. He could start to see clearly and noticed he was staring at an opening…well, above an opening. As if he was in the middle of the–

Deep breaths. Obverse what’s around you. Ground yourself.

Kel hugged him tightly with his right arm, while the left one was raised. Sunny looked up and noticed that Kel’s raised arm was holding the…railing. Of the staircase. They were in the middle of the staircase. The…thudding feeling was them sliding down before Kel could get a grip. It wasn’t the air that was breathing, it was Kel.

“I’ll throw those away, okay? I’ll flush them down the toilet. I’ll do whatever you need me to do. Just please don’t…please don’t scare me like that…” Kel’s voice wavered, and if Sunny listened close enough, he could hear the sound of muffled hiccups.

Sunny trembled and finally moved. Kel didn’t loosen his hold. Sunny wanted to turn and see his expression, but couldn’t.

“Sorry, just…just give me a moment…” Kel continued to take deep breaths, slowly loosening his grip. It took a few minutes, but finally, Kel was able to allow Sunny to turn around.

Sunny looked up at Kel, unable to completely read his expression in the dark. There was that comforting smile that Sunny was used to, but…

“I’m…sorry…” Sunny looked down, ashamed. “I…hurt you…”

“No, no you didn’t, Sunny.” Kel shook his head rapidly. “It was my fault for not thinking. I should’ve known seeing that would upset you. I was stupid.” Kel looked genuinely guilty, and Sunny felt it wasn’t right. It was his own fault for getting confused like that.

“Not your fault.” Sunny shook his head. Kel slumped a little, unable to find a response.

“Are you okay?” Kel changed the subject instead. “I know I caught you, but did I put any strain on your body? I didn’t mean to be aggressive. I just–I reacted on instinct.” Kel hoped he didn’t bruise the other.

Sunny once again shook his head. He then studied Kel. “You…?” Kel took the brunt of the fall, and although he was able to grab the railing, the sliding had still sounded painful. Plus…hadn’t Sunny bit him?

Kel smiled. “I’m fine. My body’s really sturdy.” He even flexed to show it. Sunny almost frowned. With his arm next to Kel’s, he could easily see their differences in strength and size. Once again Sunny was reminded of his appearance. He was weak and pathetic. He was small. And no matter how much he wished he could grow past all of this and become someone different–

He would remain the same. He was stuck in this stunted body.

Sunny brought a hand up to his hair and felt the messily cut strands. His br–Hero wasn’t really great at cutting his hair. Sunny had done it on his own for four years and knew how to do it perfectly, but Hero wouldn’t let him.

Scissors were sharp and dangerous.

Ask Kel for some.

Should he? Isn’t it kind of an awkward time to do that?

Say you want to cut your hair.

What a bizarre thing to ask after what had just happened. He’ll wait until tomorrow.

Kel listened to the inaudible whispering of Sunny, finding it comforting. Maybe it should be concerning, but honestly, it really solidified Sunny’s presence. It had only been a few days since he found Sunny, and a lot of it still didn’t feel real.

“Want to go back to bed…?” Kel awkwardly spoke up, and Sunny nodded. Kel helped Sunny to his feet, and they both slowly went back up the stairs. Kel winced momentarily and was thankful Sunny couldn’t see. He didn’t want Sunny blaming himself when this had all been his own fault.

How could he be so stupid? Kel knew about the sleeping medication yet still pulled it out in front of Sunny. What was he thinking? That could’ve been so much worse. If he was any slower, Sunny would’ve been seriously hurt.

Kel and Sunny both went back into the bedroom. Kel wasn’t sure if his parents had woken up to the sound of him falling–hopefully not. And if they did, he was glad they stayed in their room and minded their business.

Sunny got into the bed first, going under the covers and then popping his head back out, looking at Kel expectantly. Kel chuckled, joining him after clicking off the lamp. He shifted around, trying not to take up a lot of space. He found himself facing Sunny and smiled.

Sunny blinked, staring back in the darkness. Kel wasn’t sure why, but he felt a wave of emotion he couldn’t quite describe. There was something different now. When in the hospital, although he slept near Sunny, there was still a sense of separation. Sunny wore hospital clothing, and despite being right beside him, felt distant.

Everything had felt unreal. A dream. Perhaps a fantasy concocted by his own grief.

But now, staring into Sunny’s eyes which were filled with an unclear light…

“Goodnight.” Kel found himself saying. Sunny blinked in acknowledgment, then easily drifted off to sleep.

It was quiet. Kel had no confidence in his ability to sleep, no matter how tired he was. He’d long been dependent on sleeping medication. The clutter of thoughts constantly weighed down on his mind and kept him awake. Usually, his brain was always buzzing, thinking about the next step, wondering what would come next…

But he was done.

He found Sunny.

What was there to think about? Sunny was right there in front of him. Kel could hold him easily. He could hear Sunny breathing.

When he thought about the future, the phrase ‘we’ll cross that bridge when we get there’ suppressed his worries. But now he was there. He was at that bridge. The goal he’d been focused on for five years had been achieved.

An indescribable feeling filled his chest.

Kel reached out a hand, gently brushing some hair from Sunny’s face. He kept his hand there, feeling the warmth of Sunny’s skin.

Sunny was alive. But…Sunny was unwell.

Sunny wouldn’t talk to any of the doctors. He wouldn’t even look at them. Everything he ate, all the medicine he took…all of it had to go through Kel. It was a heavy trust Kel felt happy to have but also concerned him greatly.

Sunny was now relying on him, and tonight, he messed up. He scared Sunny. He almost caused him to get seriously hurt.

Kel didn’t know how to navigate any of this. For five years he’d closed himself off, and now he was opening up again.

But he was only opening up to Sunny. He no longer trusted his parents. Aubrey and Basil were distant. And there was no one else he developed relationships with these past years. He had been focused–tunnel vision.

And he had to be focused. The only thing on his mind was his goal, because if he thought about anything else, if he ever wavered in his belief that Sunny was alive–

Kel smiled, finally pulling his hand back.

This…all of this…none of them would ever completely recover from it, would they? And it was all so much worse because it wasn’t even over. Hero was still out there, probably searching for Sunny.

Hatred was a funny feeling. Kel had never been one to hold grudges, but this wasn’t something as petty as that. When he thought about Hero, all he could think of was a monster. A distorted image of someone he once knew. An irredeemable villain.

And that monster permanently cast a shadow over all their lives.

Sunny couldn’t even eat without feeling fear.

Kel jolted out of his thoughts after hearing a shuffling sound and noticed Sunny reaching out for something. His hands were grabbing around, and his expression stiffened. Kel wasn’t sure what was going on. Eventually, Sunny grabbed onto Kel’s arm, and his expression eased. He wrapped his arms around Kel’s arm and got closer, before letting out a small sigh and returning to a peaceful sleep.

…Kel was reading too much into it. He had to be. He didn’t want his next thoughts to be correct. He wanted to believe he was overreacting, but…

Kel was reminded of what Sunny’s room had looked like in that damned apartment. He was filled with incredible disgust. He wanted to vomit. He tried desperately not to think about it, but it kept crawling back to the forefront of his mind.

Sunny’s sleeping self was probably looking for a stuffed animal because that’s what he was used to sleeping with. Kel clenched his jaw and found himself grinding his teeth. He sighed, forcefully relaxing himself.

His brain was making connections that weren’t there…is what he wanted to tell himself. Unfortunately, there were many weird habits Sunny had that Kel couldn’t ever remember being present before. Each new tick made him afraid.

Kel almost laughed. Has he always been this anxious of a person? He’d been somewhat reasonable at the hospital, but that was because he thought they were completely safe. Even with the comfort he had thinking Hero was locked away, he still had trouble sleeping, constantly wanting to be awake and alert.

Now he had a reason to be paranoid.

…

Sometimes, when he watched Sunny sleep, he remembered the moment he found him. It was the first time Kel saw him in five years, and Sunny had looked like a lifeless doll, not answering any of Kel’s calls. Kel had been so scared he was too late–especially when Sunny looked at him like he was a stranger.

…It’s…better to be positive, isn’t it? He’s working on it. He’s working on getting his old self back. He knows that’s what Sunny needs. But for some reason, it wasn’t working. He couldn’t change his mind.

Since that moment by the dock when he threw away his old self, threw away all that made him weak…

It turns out getting that hope and optimism back was infinitely more difficult than he thought.

But he can still be happy, right? It’s not like he wasn’t. He was so glad Sunny was okay–well, not okay, but he could become okay. That there was a chance in the future they would all move past this.

Sunny could grow up.

…

Why…why did he just think that? Kel blinked in confusion. Sunny was twenty. He was grown up.

So what if the place he had been trapped in was childish? Sunny obviously still grew, right? Of course, not much in height or appearance, but that’s not too surprising considering his past and maybe even his genetics. But mentally he’s more mature…right? Kel should respect that. Sunny was still allowed to grow in that damned place. That had to be true. Kel needed it to be true.

An ugly thought was rearing its head. The appearance of the apartment–what he’d heard from the police–his own knowledge of what Hero had been like…he couldn’t handle it. The idea he had…he wanted to erase forever. He wanted to carve it out of his brain. He didn’t want to think about it. Ever.

Sunny once again scooted closer, oblivious to anything and everything. Kel wanted to cry. He hated that he wanted to cry. He hated all of this. He hated that he couldn’t fix this. It wasn’t something that could be fixed. All Kel could do was be a comforting presence, and be there for Sunny.

He could never erase what Hero had done.

…

God, he wanted to fall asleep. He needed to be awake the next morning. He needed to be attentive–he wanted to be attentive. It’s not like he specifically wronged Sunny, but…

The world kind of did, didn’t it? Kel hated thinking about himself in such a superior way, but he really was the reason Sunny was saved. No one searched. Everyone else gave up. Sometimes, Kel even wishes he didn’t wait until he finished high school to start looking. Maybe if he was two years earlier, things would be just a little better–

There was no point in regret. It was a waste of time. He needed to focus on what was next, which was Sunny’s surgery that was coming up soon. Things were moving quickly. Thankfully, despite Sunny’s aversion to medication, it seems that when in a hospital setting it was different. Although he generally refused pills, they were able to coax him with liquid medication or by using the IV.

After the surgery, Basil and Aubrey were going to come over. Right now they bought a few basic clothes for Sunny to wear–obviously not enough since he was borrowing some of Kel’s– but they did need to go shopping. It might be nice for Sunny to get out and have some agency in picking some stuff for himself.

Right, then after that…

Kel’s brain was moving rapidly, and he felt even more annoyed. It was great to think over what needed to be done, but he also needed sleep. Maybe he could find a way to relax. He was too alert right now.

Kel refocused on Sunny and decided to listen to his breathing. He matched the pace, trying to get his body into a completely relaxed state. If he pretended to be asleep for long enough, maybe he’d really pass out.

Just breathe in, then out.

Breathe in, then out…

In…out…

****

Basil needed to calm down.

He knew he should control himself. But the news…hearing that Hero was still out there…

Basil looked down at the photo album in his hands, gripping it tightly enough that his knuckles turned white. Once again he had pulled it from his shelf, flipping through it in hopes of relaxing himself.

His hand ached.

Black ink…

Basil stared at each vandalized image–at the haphazard scribbles crossing out that monster's face. Everyone else shone brightly in comparison, and yet Basil’s eyes still often drew to meet Sunny’s.

Every image Basil had was fixed. That traitor was fully blacked out, as he should be. Ideally, that thief would die. Be it through an ironic car crash, where he’s sent flying across the street with his head cracking against the pavement, or through something simple, like suicide.

Would Hero kill himself? That would be preferable. It was doubtful, though. Basil figured that on the contrary, Hero was actively living, working to ruin everything just as he always did.

It would be wonderful if he drowned. Maybe even stabbed over and over and over and over and–

Basil blinked.

Right…he was supposed to be calming down. Aubrey would be mad if she knew he was having a moment like this. After all, he wanted to be as normal as possible. If he appeared unstable, he wouldn’t be able to see Sunny.

Unlike Hero, Basil was reasonable. Basil understood what was right and wrong. Basil wanted Sunny’s happiness and not his own. He wished that selfish monster never got ahold of their light. They should’ve been less forgiving.

…It was fine, though. Basil learned, and so did the rest of them.

As far as Basil was concerned, the Hero he had once seen as a role model was dead. Wiped from his mind. That person didn’t exist anymore, and never would again. For a little while, he had grieved the loss of someone he cared about. But, as people should, Basil moved on. Hero was dead…and he had long accepted that fact.

Basil stood up shakily, putting the photo album back where it belonged. He then pulled out his journal. He needed to get out some of this stress.

He flipped through the pages, finding the most recent ones at least relatively pleasant. The dreams stopped recently, and Basil smiled to himself. They stopped because Sunny finally returned. He didn’t have to wait until he fell asleep to see him anymore.

All those fun memories he had when he slept…he wondered if maybe Sunny would remember the dreams too. The logical part of him said no, that dream-sharing wasn’t possible. But the louder, emotional part of him deemed it to be true. Every day he was comforted by  dream Sunny, and that’s how he knew Sunny was okay.

After all, dream Sunny would often say that he was trying to come home. And now he finally did. It took help from Kel, obviously, but he still managed to escape. Basil honestly felt deep gratitude toward Kel.

…

Aubrey didn’t like his journals much.

“’Day six hundred and fifty-two…Sunny said he missed me today. Apparently, he had another hard day…but he keeps asking about mine. He’s so selfless like always. I hope one day he’ll feel comfortable talking to me about what’s going on…’” Aubrey glanced up. “Basil, that’s…”

She knows.

“It’s! It’s my dream journal!” Basil snatched it back. Aubrey blinked slowly, expression contorting. She went to speak but stopped. There was something complicated in her gaze.

She knows.

“…Okay. I…it was wrong of me to look at something private.” Aubrey took a deep breath, giving a weak smile.

Basil stared back.

“Just try to keep the more…violent stuff under control, okay? I know this is how you destress, so I…I won’t judge you.”

She knows.

Aubrey had known who he was for a long time. How could she not? She’d been helping him all these years, trying to help him be normal. But he just can’t. He can pretend, but he could never actually be normal. Maybe five years ago there was a chance–a chance of him recovering from whatever the hell he was suffering from and getting better.

But that chance was gone. The past five years wore him and everyone around him down into shells of what they used to be. There’s a chance of being built back up, but with Basil, the core of who he was had been solidified. He was too old to change his ways.

Basil had been consumed by insanity long before Hero had.

But Basil wasn’t a monster like Hero was. Basil cared about others. Basil wasn’t selfish…well, not completely selfish. He cherished all of his friends. Aubrey was like a sister to him. Kel was someone he could rely on. And Sunny…was beyond description.

Ah…he couldn’t wait to see Sunny again…

Just a little longer. Just until Sunny had his surgery. Basil got nervous at that thought. Surgery can be dangerous, right? He really hoped it went perfectly. Sunny didn’t deserve anything going wrong...too much already had.

Something needed to go right for once.

“Basil! Can you come help me!?” Aubrey’s muffled voice carried into his room, and Basil sighed.

“Yeah!” Basil called back, clearing his mind of those previous thoughts.

Look toward the future! Be positive! Everything is good now. There’s no point dwelling in those harsh realities.

All of them were going to be okay because everything had finally been fixed.

…

For the most part.

****

Sunny stared at himself in the mirror.

He smiled.

Thank you.

Sunny tilted his head.

For letting me have an eye.

“I…wanted you to have it…” After all, it was only fair. With how much Omori had helped him over the years, it was natural Sunny wanted to at least give him something. All he could give was that. The comfort and security Omori provided were now directly shown on him physically, and Sunny liked it.

It made him happy to have Omori be a part of him this way…but there was something else to it.

He looked different.

He had two eyes now. One was that same, plain black, and the other was a purple reminiscent of the dream world he adored staying in–the color his sister loved. Omori’s color.

Kel had been a bit surprised at him wanting purple, saying that it was kind of flashy. But it wasn’t in an insulting way. Kel seemed happy about it. Sunny wasn’t completely sure why but appreciated the support nonetheless.

We look so much better now.

Sunny nodded in agreement. He’d cut his hair before the surgery, and it had been freeing in an indescribable way. The moment he touched those scissors he felt something come back to him. A little bit of power. A little bit of independence.

Sunny’s shaking hands brought the scissors close to his face. He glanced around, noticing Kel didn’t even stay in to watch him do it. His eye briefly welled up with tears. Finally…he could do something for himself.

Finally, he wasn’t useless.

Sunny blinked slowly, still absorbed in his new appearance.

Having two eyes again might take some getting used to.

Yeah. Kel’s parents even did a double-take when he first came home, not expecting the purple color. Sally was excited, though. She was really excited. She kept pestering him about it, wanting her own purple eye. Kel had to explain why that definitely wasn’t going to happen. Sally then asked if she could have his old eyepatches instead.

Sunny was fully willing to give them to her, but everyone else said no.

It would’ve been funny.

It really would have.

…

Sunny once again felt that jittery feeling. He couldn’t figure out if it was excitement or anxiety.

Probably both. It's been a while since we’ve seen Aubrey and Basil.

So it was both. Unpleasant. It made his chest hurt. He felt stressed. That’s why he came into the bathroom to calm down, but Kel would probably get worried if he took too long. Kel would cancel if he thought Sunny was uncomfortable.

Which Sunny does appreciate. He appreciates how attentive and patient Kel is. Sunny feels undeserving, but…can’t bring himself to say anything. He needs Kel’s support, no matter how much he wants to be independent and strong.

We should go down before they get here. I’m curious to see what they look like after so long.

They must look really different. Sunny hoped they were at least recognizable…he still vividly remembered Kel’s expression when he said he didn’t know who Kel was. He felt bad about it.

It wasn’t our fault. Kel understands. It’d been so long since we saw anyone at all, so it makes sense we were confused.

Right. It makes sense.

Now go down. No more stalling.

Sunny huffs. “Not stalling…”

You are.

“Fine…” Sunny turned away from the mirror, finally leaving the bathroom. He adjusted the old graphic tee Kel lent him. Sunny really liked the colorful designs on it. It was still big on him, but he didn’t mind. Bigger clothes made him look bigger, right?

Logically that makes sense…maybe.

Sunny opened the door and walked down the stairs, seeing Kel sitting on the living room couch and texting on his phone. Seeing Sunny, Kel closed the flip phone and got to his feet, smiling. “Hey, Sunny.”

“Hi…” Sunny nodded. He’d been working on talking more. It’s really hard. It’s easy when he’s just talking to Omori, and Kel’s also okay. Sally…he can manage a word or two. Anyone else his throat closes up.

“They should be coming any second now.” Kel’s gaze softened. “Are you sure you’re ready? It’s okay if you need more time. They won’t mind waiting.” Kel still held the phone in his hands, but Sunny shook his head.

“M’ okay…” Sunny walked to Kel’s side, looking at the front door. Even though he was a little scared, this was something he needed. This was something he wanted. He missed them...so much.

“Alright. If at any point you get overwhelmed you can still leave. No one will be offended.” Kel pat Sunny’s shoulder. Sunny was about to respond when there was suddenly a loud knock on the door.

It was an unreasonably aggressive knock. Sunny immediately thought of Aubrey. Kel smiled after sighing, fond resignation on his face. “Come in!” Kel for some reason didn’t go forward to open the door, instead staying beside Sunny. Sunny glanced up at Kek and found himself appreciating the notion. Once again, he relied on Kel’s support.

The door opened.

A girl stepped in, her eyes narrowed from the sunlight. Sunny’s eyes briefly widened, taking in the new appearance of who he assumed to be Aubrey.

“Hey, Kel.” Aubrey waved nonchalantly, before glancing to the side. She immediately zeroed in on Sunny. Sunny stiffened, hiding behind Kel. After a few moments, he poked his head slightly out from behind Kel, just enough so he could stare at Aubrey warily.

Aubrey’s eyes watered. Sunny saw her expression shift into something close to sadness, but a smile spread across her lips, contradicting the way her brows creased together. “Sunny…” Her voice was choked up. Clear worry shone in her gaze, mixed with warmth. All of it was calm. All of it made Sunny himself want to cry.

She looked so different. She was clearly older, taller than she was five years ago. Her hair was split into two braids, a mix of her original hair color stemming from the roots braided together with a familiar bright pink. Sunny looked around for her old headband and found it wrapped around her wrist.

Aubrey had changed, and Sunny didn't get to see it. He missed all of it.

“You okay…?” Kel quietly asked, looking down at Sunny. Sunny’s gaze was still fixed on Aubrey. He found himself slowly coming out from behind Kel, wanting to reach for her, to really understand that she was real.

For a moment, a pink rabbit plushy entered his mind.

“It’s…it’s been a while…” Aubrey shifted in place, still focused on Sunny. “I…” Aubrey tried keeping it together. Kel told them they couldn’t stress Sunny out, so she was trying her best to not burst into tears. “I really…really missed you.” She had thought he was dead, but here was, staring back at her with two wide eyes. Seeing his new prosthetic eye being purple pulled at her heart. Was it for Mari?

Sunny opened his mouth, hoping to respond. He wanted to say back just how much he missed her too, how much he wished he didn’t miss these past five years. He wanted to tell her how when he remembered her strength, a fighting spirit would enter him for just a moment.

He wanted to apologize for causing her grief.

“Isn't Basil here too?” Kel furrowed his brows, glancing behind Aubrey at the door. Aubrey blinked in surprise, looking behind herself.

“Uh…yeah, he is. Not sure why he’s not coming in…?” Aubrey reluctantly turned, sending Sunny an apologetic look. She opened the door–did Basil close the door?–and poked her head outside.

Basil stared back, expression contorted.

“Basil, what are you doing?” Aubrey whispered harshly. “Come on, Sunny’s waiting!”

“I–I…I just…” Basil’s voice wobbled, and he clasped his hands together, squeezing them. “I don’t…I don’t know if…” His eyes were practically swirling. Aubrey mellowed out momentarily but remained stern.

“Basil, it’s going to be fine. I trust you to be calm. If it gets too much, feel free to leave, okay? It’s better to leave than stress Sunny out. He…” Aubrey pursed her lips, eyes lidding. “He’s already nervous.”

Basil wavered for a moment longer, before nodding. Aubrey was right. Sunny was waiting for him. He just needed to go inside.

Aubrey opened the door enough for him to walk in. Basil shakily stepped inside, and immediately found Sunny. He was standing slightly behind Kel, looking almost the same as he did five years ago, just with a new eye.

“Sunny…” The name spilled from Basil’s mouth, disbelief mixing with careful elation. “You…you’re okay…!” Basil couldn’t help himself from going forward, only to be stopped by Aubrey grabbing his arm. Basil whipped his head around to glare at her, mad that she was keeping him from Sunny.

“Basil, stop it.” She tightened her grip, quietly reprimanding him. “Remember what Kel said. Give him some time to get used to us again. Let him approach us first.”

Basil stiffened, feeling ashamed. He was just so excited. Sunny was right there! They could finally be together again. After all these years of waiting and suffering Sunny was finally back. Basil desperately wanted to be close to him. He wanted to see Sunny’s smile. He wanted to be around Sunny all the time–he didn’t want Sunny out of his sight ever again. He wanted to–

Basil paused suddenly. His thoughts had wandered. After a while, he smiled. “S–Sorry…” His voice was a little low, and his breathing became disordered. It was obvious he was restraining a sort of extreme happiness as he took deep breaths, readjusting his emotions.

Basil refocused on Sunny, wanting to take in his presence. Sunny looked–

…

Why was Sunny looking at him like that?

“Sunny? You okay?” Kel immediately noticed the shift in Sunny, having become attuned to his tells. He watched Sunny carefully and noticed clearly the fear and reproach in his eyes. Kel frowned.

Sunny stared forward at Basil, a dissonance in his mind sending off warning bells. He was confused. He was so incredibly confused.

Why did Basil look the same?

Besides being taller and more mature looking, everything else was just as it was five years ago. For some reason, that brought Sunny incredible discomfort.

Why hadn’t Basil changed?

What's going on?

Why did Basil make that expression?

Sunny hid behind Kel.

I don’t like his eyes.

They weren’t familiar.

Why does he look like that?

Basil shouldn’t be the same.

Everyone else changed because of what happened…

Why did Basil not?

Something’s wrong.

Something was really wrong.

Something’s wrong with Basil.

He can’t handle it. He can’t handle being around anyone that was off. He might not understand where this gross discomfort was coming from, but it left him reeling. Sunny took a deep breath, and checked again, peeking out from behind Kel.

Basil stared back, looking abnormally crestfallen. He reached a hand forward hesitantly. “Sunny, don’t you…don’t you remember me? I’m–I’m Basil. We…” Basil’s eyes gleamed with sorrow. “Why…” Basil took a step forward.

Sunny gripped onto Kel’s hoodie, his fearful gaze deepening. Whatever was going on with Basil was not his problem. Looking exactly the same was part of it, but it was also the expression Basil had moments earlier.

It was discomforting. It wasn’t that it was something he’d seen before, but it caused a familiar uneasiness.

Basil tried to rush over, wanting to understand why Sunny had looked at him like that. Why would Sunny look at him with such fear and distrust? It didn’t make sense. It couldn’t make sense! Didn’t Sunny miss him? Hadn’t they been together in their dreams?

“Basil!” Aubrey grabbed at him, but he wasn’t reasonable anymore. He was upset and confused. There Sunny was, alive and in front of him, and he wasn’t even allowed to reach out? That can’t be right.

Kel reacted. He stepped completely in front of Sunny and when Basil got close, Kel blocked him “Basil, calm down!” Kel gripped his shoulders tightly, shaking him. Basil was starting to cry.

“S–Sunny! What’s wrong!? What did I do!?” Basil desperately needed an answer. He needed to fix this. This isn’t how things were supposed to go. Sunny was supposed to smile at him. Sunny was supposed to be happy to see him! “Aren’t we best friends!? Best friends shouldn’t be afraid of each other!”

“God dammit!” Aubrey pulled at Basil, frustrated and upset. She bit her lip, trying to prevent herself from getting emotional. Sunny hadn’t been afraid of her, so she thought he would be fine with Basil too. Was that her own oversight? Was she stupid? What was Sunny seeing that made him so terrified?

Kel pitied Basil, understood where his frenzied behavior was coming from, yet couldn’t help but be angry as well. Sunny can’t be stressed out like this. “Basil, if you don’t calm down, I’m kicking you out.” Kel lowered his voice, completely serious.

Basil’s eyes widened, stunned. He took deep, shuddering breaths, eyes still looking through Kel. He wanted to see Sunny. He needed to see Sunny. He needed to know what was wrong. He needed to fix this.

“I–Is it something I said?” Basil at least stopped shouting, falling back into a shaky, uncertain tone. “Can–can you please tell me? I…I don’t know what I did wrong…” Basil wanted to stop crying.

Sunny continued to hide behind Kel, brain working to process his own emotions. He was terribly afraid, but it was confusing because he didn't know why. All he knew was that seeing Basil looking the same, seeing him suppress some kind of emotion…

It was too much.

“You…” Sunny had to rip the words from his own throat. He knew he cared for Basil and missed him. He felt like he needed to explain his fear.

Everyone became quiet hearing Sunny speak up. Basil’s eyes brightened, hopeful.

“…didn’t change.”

“Huh?” Basil tilted his head almost mechanically. “I…didn’t change?” Basil looked down at himself and reached a hand up to his own hair. He felt the flower clip. “I guess I didn’t…but I just thought…” Basil tried to think of his reasoning. He remembered it being completely justified and logical.

But as he went to say it out loud, a bizarre thought entered his mind.

Wasn’t it really weird of him to still dress the same? Aubrey had said so too, but he just ignored her. He wanted to make Sunny feel at home when he came back. He wanted things to go back to how they were before all of this. Basil firmly believed that when Sunny returned, they’d just go back to how they were. They’d hang out like they used to.

Nothing would be different, so why should he be different? Keeping his appearance the same almost let him pretend that Sunny had never left. For five years, even as he grew taller, he just bought the same outfits. He wore the same hair clip.

For the first time, Basil thought about it from an outside perspective.

It’s…probably creepy, right? Sunny got scared because he was scary. Basil didn’t want to be scary. He wanted Sunny to feel safe and happy around him. If Sunny didn’t, how could Basil stick around?

Basil felt like he was drowning.

“I…I’m…I’m sorry…” Basil almost whimpered, backing away from both Kel and Aubrey. “It’s…I…” Basil wasn’t brave. His eyes shone with more tears, and with shaky hands, he fled out the front door. He ran away.

Sunny didn’t want him there. He can’t make Sunny upset.

He…

He had to fix this.

He had to fix himself.

Then he would be able to see Sunny again.

…

Aubrey stared off after Basil, speechless. She looked back to Kel, who was staring at her with slight blame. She didn’t grow defensive, knowing that this was partially her fault. “Sorry, I really thought Basil was ready for this.” She also didn’t think Sunny would be afraid.

“It’s…” Kel sighed. “It’s fine.” He turned around, feeling Sunny let go of his hoodie. “Hey, are you alright? I’m sorry, I didn’t know he would scare you.” Kel thought about what Sunny said to Basil, and chewed on his cheek.

Sunny glanced at Kel, then Aubrey. He felt better now that Basil was gone. A part of him felt guilty though, knowing Basil meant no harm.

It’s only right he leaves. Something was wrong with him.

Blunt. Sunny looked up at Aubrey. He wanted to reach out to her. He missed her. But he also was nervous and wanted to stay beside Kel.

“I…” Aubrey looked reluctant, glancing at Sunny. “I should probably go after him. He can be…” Aubrey trailed off. “I really want to stay. But…”

“It’s alright. You guys can come back another time.” Kel was disappointed. It can’t be helped, but he was really hoping this would go smoothly. Sunny needed a larger support group, and Kel didn’t really include his parents in that. He trusted Aubrey and Basil to be kind and patient, but he forgot how unpredictable Basil could be.

“Sunny, you…wouldn’t mind us coming back another time, right?” Aubrey smiled nervously. She didn’t know if he would want them too. She would be really sad if he didn’t. Aubrey missed him a lot and felt like she was constantly on the verge of tears because of it.

Sunny studied Aubrey, blinking slowly.

Aubrey is nice. We should ask her to come back.

Didn’t that mean Basil would come back too?

Maybe Aubrey will talk to him? If he’s really no different, then we can ask Kel to kick him out again.

That’s kind of mean…

It’s not mean. It’s only fair.

Sunny ended up nodding. Aubrey muffled a sigh of relief, looking at Sunny gratefully. “I’m really sorry about today. But…I’m really glad I got to see you.” She gave a crooked grin. “That new eye is sick, by the way.”

I’m glad she likes my eye.

Sunny was glad too. He smiled a little. He really was happy to see Aubrey and how she’d matured. She seems so cool now–in a completely different way from before. There was no longer that rebellious energy, instead, there was a quiet, distinct strength.

“I’ll see you around then. And Kel, uh…I guess I’ll text you about what happened…” Aubrey slouched, “…once I figure it out myself.”

“Sounds good.” Kel gave her a thumbs up and a warm smile. Aubrey smiled back, but it was a little awkward.

It was such a short reunion. Sunny felt that maybe it should’ve been different. He felt like he should’ve done more. In the movies, weren’t there always hugs and lots of crying? He did that with Kel. He cried a lot.

It’s better we don’t cry, I think.

Well, of course. But that’s how it usually goes, right?

“So…” Kel glanced at Sunny once Aubrey left. “Do you…want to do something?” Kel was going to talk about what happened but decided to do it another time. He himself was still really confused. Hopefully Sunny explained later why he was so afraid of Basil.

“GameCube,” Sunny said immediately, already tugging on Kel’s sleeve. Kel chuckled, letting himself be dragged along.

“Just so you know, I’m totally gonna beat you this time.” Kel hit his chest with his hand proudly, and Sunny snorted. Kel blinked in surprise, not expecting it. He then beamed. “I’m not kidding! I’m really good, okay?” He pretended to be upset, grinning as Sunny quietly smiled.

These moments–these pockets of time where things were okay…

Kel really hoped they would keep happening. He hoped they would happen more and more despite everything else going on. He would worry about Basil later–maybe when Aubrey texted him what was up.

Right now he was going to hang out with Sunny, who seemed to actually be doing okay. Kel was always worried about him falling back into that place of fear, remembering things Kel couldn’t begin to understand. It was still going to happen at times, Kel knew. He would be there for Sunny whenever it happened. He wanted to understand and help.

But, those five years…Kel had no idea what happened during them.

And he was beginning to think he might be better off not knowing, even if that was a selfish thought.

Kel knew there was so much he didn’t know, and with each new thing he did learn…

Fury chipped away at his composure.

…

Hero…

…

He really hoped that bastard stayed away.

…

Kel wouldn’t be able to handle it if he didn’t.

****

Hero put on the new gloves, taking a deep, shaky breath. He found himself smiling, relieved. Those fingerless gloves weren’t good…he needed his hands fully covered. He can’t be touching anything dirty. 

He needed to keep his hands clean.

Stop!

Hero’s vision shifted momentarily, his hands looking completely unfamiliar. But, the deep discomfort was gone in a moment.

Hero blinked rapidly, wondering if it was the contacts, or maybe the glasses. Could be either. It wasn’t worth thinking about, though.

Hero took the gloves back off, hearing the crickets chirping. The lamp was dim in the shabby motel room as he sat on his bed, glancing at the clock.

It was the middle of the night. Hero sighed. He needed to sleep.

Hero!

Guess he needed to start his routine, then.

…

Hero gasped for air, arms giving out. He winced, feeling all of his muscles ache. At least he was tired now. He refused to take sleeping medication, lest he be unprepared and not alert. So, he pushed his body to the limit instead.

It was beneficial too–building strength was always a good thing.

Hero slowly propped himself back up, before stumbling over to the bed. He collapsed onto it, letting out a deep sigh.

I’m scared…

Hero flinched. The whisperings were becoming more and more accurate to the voice he remembered. It sounded almost exactly like Sunny. Hero narrowed his eyes, grimacing at the sudden onslaught of emotion.

Why…

Why did this have to happen?

Everything was perfect. They were both so happy. Why did someone come and ruin that? Why did they decide to ruin his life by stealing away the one thing he cared about? That awful monster wouldn’t know how to take care of Sunny–probably wouldn’t even try.

Hero lifted his hands, covering his eyes. He pressed against them, pushing harder the more he lost control of his thoughts.

Hero?

It was there…wasn’t it?

If he opened his eyes now, he would see Sunny.

…

Hero couldn’t help himself. He looked.

Please!

He slapped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide. He almost ran forward but was frozen in place, unable to move out of shock.

This time, the silhouette of Sunny had a stark line across its neck. When Hero looked up, the head fell off, smashing into the ground. Hero gagged. It was awful. It was so, so awful.

Why?

Hero wanted to cry.

You failed!

He did. He was constantly thinking about it. He knew these weird visions were his punishment. No matter how much he hated the sight before his eyes or the invasive whispering in his mind, he couldn’t ignore it.

This was what he deserved for not properly protecting Sunny. Why did he ever think leaving Sunny defenseless like that was a good idea? He was a complete idiot.

But it’s fine–no, it’s not fine. It’s not fine at all. No matter how much he plans for the future, thinking about what to do once he finds Sunny, it doesn’t mean a thing.

Because he doesn’t know where Sunny is, or if he’s even okay.

The guy who took Sunny obviously wouldn’t know how to take care of him. Only Hero knew how. He spent these past years really learning all of Sunny and Omori’s quirks and needs, as well as how to handle any moments of distress.

Sunny was just a kid. He can’t regulate himself well. He’s really sensitive and anxious, and he needs to be kept safely inside where he’s most comfortable. If he’s outside, he could get sick or hurt.

Help!

Hero was enraged.

From the back of his mind to the tip of his tongue, he felt it. Swirling around in his amygdala was a fear beyond just petty anxious paranoia. His fear fueled his anger. Grasping at rationality was pointless.

He was aware that the world outside of his own wasn’t something he could control. He hated it, but he wasn’t going to be ignorant to that truth. The unconscious panic he used to be consumed by was now gripped tightly and thought through rationally.

Once again, there was a person incompatible with his happiness–incompatible with Sunny’s happiness.

But it was okay. Hero would protect their joy.

He would get rid of the block in his way.

…

Hero was going to kill that bastard for taking Sunny away from him.

Chapter Text

Aubrey stood, anxiety causing her to bite her nails.

Basil wasn’t at Polly’s. They were going to stay at her place to avoid having to drive to Faraway every day, and yet when she went to check the house, Basil wasn’t there. Polly told Aubrey he hadn’t even stopped by.

So now she didn’t know where to look.

Where could he have gone? Back home, maybe?

Aubrey tried to put herself in Basil’s shoes. If she was obsessed with Sunny and–well, that’s kind of blunt, isn’t it? Aubrey sighed. What had Sunny said that made Basil back off and run away? Maybe she should focus on that.

Something about change…

Right! Basil not changing.

…Oh.

Aubrey dropped her hand.

That means…Basil would fix that by changing, right? Aubrey sighed loudly, feeling a headache coming on. He went to the store, then? Maybe? Back to their apartment to change or something?

“God…why me?” Aubrey complained to nobody but still went along anyway. She opened her phone and attempted to call Basil, but wasn’t really surprised at the lack of response. Looks like she was just going to have to look for him. And if she didn’t find him, she’d head back to the apartment and hope he’s there.

Aubrey really hoped he was okay.

…

Aubrey tiredly opened the front door, kicking off her shoes with a scowl.

She was worried out of her mind! Where the hell was Basil!? He didn’t even have the decency to respond to her texts!

Aubrey stomped through the apartment, stomach growling. She aggressively opened the fridge, finding a chocolate milk carton. She opened it, almost ripping it apart and spilling it everywhere. With an almost growl she slammed the fridge back shut and chugged the milk.

God, what the hell does she do now? She can’t call Kel–he wouldn’t know where he was. And Polly still said there was no sign of him.

This was the worst–

Aubrey paused.

She could hear the bathroom faucet.

Aubrey stiffened, turning her head slowly.

That was Basil.

Aubrey tossed the finished carton aside, rushing toward the bathroom. She saw the cracked open door and didn’t bother knocking, throwing it open and ready to tear into him for worrying her so much. “Basil–!”

Aubrey stopped.

Basil turned slightly, making eye contact with Aubrey. He was quietly sobbing, tears trailing down his scrunched-up face. His hands were in his hair. There was green everywhere.

“…Basil?” Aubrey glanced around, not having the mind to be angry at the dye now staining the sink. “What are you doing…?”

Basil sniffled, trying to blink away his tears. “I–I was…dying my hair…” His voice was stuffy. He looked a little embarrassed.

“Right…” Aubrey looked around. She stifled a sigh. It was already too late to deter him, and she probably wouldn’t anyway. Basil was finally making a change. A drastic one at that. Aubrey glanced to the side and noticed an old sketchbook open on the counter.

Basil continued to make little sounds, watching Aubrey warily. She walked to his side, glancing at the page the sketchbook was open on. She immediately recognized Sunny’s old art, seeing a colored drawing of Basil.

Of Basil…with green hair. Aubrey looked around the bathroom and noticed a few plastic bags full of clothes. Aubrey rose a brow, looking inside one.

Overalls, and green button-ups. Plus, some thin flower crowns that would sit nicely on Basil’s head.

Aubrey stood back up, not really sure how to react.

She made eye contact with Basil once more, seeing his stubborn expression. She felt a sort of fond exasperation and quickly gestured for him to move over. Basil furrowed his brows.

“Move over, and get your hands out of your hair, dipshit.” Aubrey sighed, going to grab some plastic gloves she used for her own hair. “Why didn’t you ask me to help dye your hair? You know I’ve done it plenty of times before. It’s all patchy with how you’ve done it.”

Basil looked down, shuffling a bit. “I…I didn’t know if…” Basil pursed his lips and went to wipe his tears. He then paused, realizing he almost got green dye in his eyes.

“Basil, come on. Why wouldn’t I help? This is a good thing. You needed change.” She glanced at the sketchbook with slight uneasiness, but could at least follow Basil’s train of thought to a certain extent. “You want to be someone Sunny will find comfort around. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Still a bit weird, though.

Basil remained hunched into himself but did follow Aubrey’s instructions, sitting on a stool Aubrey found and letting her dye his hair correctly. She didn’t say much else, and the two sat in comfortable silence.

Aubrey would occasionally sigh and grumble under her breath, but Basil didn’t mind. He found himself smiling instead.

He was glad…

He was so glad she didn’t get angry at him.

Basil had ruined their reunion, yet she didn’t yell at him. Of course, he feels silly now for thinking she would. She was so patient with him these past five years, more than she probably should’ve been.

Deep down, he knows why. Obviously they’re friends and they’ve lived together all this time, so naturally, they’d have a deeper, sibling-like bond. But it wasn’t just that.

Aubrey put up with all that he was because she thought that Sunny died.

Basil wasn’t that stupid. He was willfully ignorant of her grief. He didn’t believe Sunny was dead, so he never entertained the thought that she had reason to be grieving. He never comforted her, because he believed it was only a matter of time until Sunny returned.

Without Kim to get her back up again all those years ago…

Basil closed his eyes.

He regrets it.

Aubrey was so kind to him despite everything, helping him navigate the world and appear normal so he could get through life. She stuck with him through high school, got him to pick up small jobs, and also organize what his mother left behind for him once he reached eighteen–Polly helped with that as well.

Aubrey’s assertive and can be really blunt. But it’s just a part of who she was. It’s not a bad thing–she advocates for both of them. Basil appreciates her a lot. He wonders if she knows that.

Maybe he should tell her.

...

One day he will.

One day he’ll express just how much what she’s done has meant to him.

One day he’ll thank her for letting him believe Sunny was alive.

…He’ll thank her for keeping him alive.

“Your hair is so damn soft, what shampoo do you use? Well, you’re going to need to use new shampoo anyway since your hair is colored now.” Aubrey hummed, scrunching up her nose as if it itched.

“Just used whatever…and conditioner.”

“Ah, so it’s the conditioner.” Aubrey snorted. “Let’s go to the store together after this and get you new shampoo and conditioner. I can…pick out some more clothes for you too if you want. I don’t think you got enough for more than a few days.”

Basil’s eyes watered once more, a soft, wobbly smile spreading across his face. “Okay…thank you…”

“Yeah, yeah. If you really want to thank me, do the chores for a month.” Aubrey huffed, but he could hear her grin.

It was nice.

Basil felt calm.

He hoped that this was the change he needed…the change Sunny wanted from him.

If not, he’ll just do it again.

He’ll keep changing until he becomes what Sunny needs.

It was the least he could do.

****

“You alright with that?” Kel tilted his head, running a hand through his own bedhead. “Is it too soon for them to come again tomorrow? They did come just yesterday.” Kel yawned. Aubrey texted him really early…

Sunny hummed, nodding. Kel smiled. “Great! Then I’ll tell them now.” Kel quickly sent a message and put his phone away. He stretched, letting out a relieved sigh. He then glanced at Sunny and noticed he was stretching as well.

Kel’s gaze softened.

They both went out of the bedroom together, heading downstairs for breakfast. Kel’s nose twitched. Something smelled good. He jogged over to the kitchen.

“What’s for breakfast?” Kel peeked inside, seeing Sally and his mom bustling around in the kitchen. His mom looked up, giving her best smile.

“Pancakes. Sally said she wanted some, and I remembered it was Sunny’s favorite…” She trailed off, transferring some pancakes onto two plates. “You and Sunny can go ahead and sit in the dining room. I’ll bring you both the food.”

“Alright.” Kel nodded, giving a little wave to Sally, who had flour on her face.

Sunny waited for Kel to come back, feeling a little uneasy for some reason. He wondered what it was.

Something smells funny.

Sunny couldn’t really tell. It just smelled like something was cooking. It kind of ruined his appetite. He felt repulsed, almost.

“Hey, ready to eat?” Kel gave him a big smile, and Sunny nodded. They both walked into the dining room and took seats next to each other.

The strange feeling didn’t go away.

“Are you okay?” Kel asked, a worried frown on his face.

“Yeah.” Sunny thought it was the truth, but it felt like a lie. Something was wrong. His brain felt funny. 

After a few moments, his mom came into the room holding plates, her back to them both as she chastised Sally for almost knocking into her.

Sunny blinked. He could now put a name to the smell. 

Breakfast. 

It was breakfast…pancakes.

His…favorite…

What did we do? Why are we getting pancakes? Did we get upset?

Maybe? Did he throw a fit again last night? He doesn’t remember getting a new plushy, though…

I think…it’s something else? You were angry, but you didn’t say anything.

Right, he remembers now. How could he forget?

We didn’t sleep.

He skipped sleep last night. He stayed awake. He hid his medicine. His brother wasn’t as strict last night, trusting him to take it without a problem. But he didn’t. He didn’t take it. Yesterday he didn’t eat his breakfast either. He flushed it down the toilet after Hero left.

And now it was morning. He stayed up all night–it was his first successful act of rebellion. It’d been a long time since he had felt lucid like this. Usually, everything’s a daze, and–

Did Hero realize?

How could that be?

Sunny…you look tired.

What?

You didn’t sleep at all yesterday. He’ll notice.

Well, it…it didn’t matter. Sunny didn’t care. This was his only way of getting back at his brother. He was tired of sleeping all of the time. He wanted to do something. This was one of his rare moments of feeling like himself. He didn’t want to waste it, which is why he refused to sleep. He was afraid that when he woke up, his mind would go back to being–

And maybe Hero didn’t notice. Maybe his eyes didn’t look tired.

He’s making pancakes. He knows.

That…

“Sunny, I got your breakfast ready! It’s your favorite.” Sunny heard his brother's voice and stiffened. He refused to move or respond. After a few moments, Hero came closer, and a plate was placed in front of Sunny. The chair beside him was pulled out, and Hero sat down next to him.

Sunny glanced at Hero warily. “…Work?” His brother had work. He never stayed to see Sunny eat–sometimes he’d check to make sure he took a bite, but never much longer, and definitely never sat down next to him.

“Oh, don’t worry about that, sunshine.” Hero smiled warmly, eyes narrowed into crescents. “I’ll go in a little bit. I’m just really proud of the pancakes I made today, and want to see your reaction to them.” Hero spoke smoothly, not indicating any negative emotion.

Sunny furrowed his brows slightly, turning back to the food on his plate. Maybe Hero didn’t know? He didn’t look upset.

I don’t like it. Something’s wrong with his eyes.

Sunny checked again, listening to Omori’s words.

“Are you going to eat?” Hero’s gaze softened further. He put his elbow on the table, resting his head on his hand and watching Sunny closely. “I’ll be sad if you waste what I made for you. I even got up a little bit earlier today to make it just right.”

Sunny couldn’t see anything wrong. That’s not surprising, though. Omori was the one who could pick up on things like that. Sunny could never tell. His brother seemed completely genuine.

I think…we should eat.

Hero continued to stare at him, patiently waiting. Sunny pursed his lips, reaching out to grab his fork. He should listen to Omori. Omori knew more than he did. Upsetting Hero wasn’t good, right? It never ended well. It was better not to make a fuss.

But…

Sunny didn’t want to eat.

He didn’t want to sleep.

Sunny, please eat.

Sunny put the fork down.

Sunny, please. Please just eat.

Sunny felt a headache forming but still pushed Omori back.

Listen to me! This isn’t worth it!

It was worth it. Sunny wanted to do something for once. He wanted to protest. He needed to protest while his mind was clear.

“Sunny? Why’d you put down your fork? Do you need some water? Some juice?”

Please! I’m begging you!

Sunny pushed back against Omori once more, tuning out his voice. He wanted to do more than just sit around uselessly.

“You know, you look a bit tired. I hope you didn’t do anything silly, like not taking your medicine, or throwing away your food.”

A flash of pink entered his mind, almost flowing like a flame.

“You’re probably hungry. Why don’t you just eat? There’s no reason for you not to.”

Anger.

“Sunny, eat.”

Sunny picked up the plate and fork.

“Good, now–”

Sunny threw them.

The plate hit the ground with a crash, breaking into pieces and getting food on the ground. The fork clattered against the floor.

Silence fell.

Sunny crossed his arms, refusing to look at Hero.

“…Okay.” Hero’s voice sounded funny. “Sure. We can do that too.”

Sunny felt hands on him and tried to hit them away. It was no use, though, as he was easily and unceremoniously picked up. Sunny squirmed around, expression contorted into an enraged grimace. “No!” Sunny shouted as loudly as he could, trying to hit Hero.

Hero didn’t respond, holding him tightly and walking toward his room. Sunny tried to break free but was unsuccessful. Hero opened Sunny’s bedroom door and walked inside, before putting him on the bed. Sunny glared up at Hero. “I…can walk…on my own.” It was the longest sentence he’d spoken in a long time.

“Oh?” Hero drawled, pushing Sunny onto his back. He then brought the covers over him, ignoring how Sunny kept trying to kick them off. Hero crouched down and reached under the bed, pulling out a weighted blanket. Sunny blinked in confusion. He didn’t use that often. Why was Hero pulling it out?

The buzzing in his mind was deafening.

Hero laid out the blanket over Sunny, once again ignoring Sunny’s pitiful attempts at kicking it off. Hero then lifted the mattress slightly, tucking the corners of the blanket tightly underneath, and placing it back down. Sunny furrowed his brows in confusion, seeing Hero step back. Sunny wanted to get his arms out from underneath the blanket to push it off, but found it hard to do so.

It was too heavy.

Sunny began to panic.

“It’s okay, Sunny. I know it’s probably uncomfortable, but I can’t watch over you since I need to make you breakfast again. Just stay here while I cook. I’ll be back soon.”

“W–Wait…!” Sunny felt intense anxiety. It clashed uncomfortably with his anger. “I…don’t…like it!”

“I understand.” Hero nodded, expression sympathetic. “But I don’t trust you to sit patiently while I make your food. Plus, look how tired you are. Your poor little eye is struggling to stay open.”

Sunny’s eye watered. He tried again to get the blanket off, but it was pointless. Even without the sleeping medicine, he was weak. This…was humiliating. He's so worthless.

…Hero would let him out if he apologized. He just needed to say sorry. “Big brother…I…” Sunny hated feeling trapped like this. “I’m sorry…”

“I know.” Hero smiled softly. “I’ll make you some more pancakes. I’ll be back in a moment.” Hero left the room, leaving the door open.

Sunny trembled.

He said sorry…he said sorry…

Why is he still stuck?

Sunny began to cry, the weight of the blanket nothing compared to his shame.

He hated this. Why was he so weak?

Sunny let the buzzing in his mind come to the forefront, and once again, Omori was allowed to speak.

Please, Sunny. Please let go.

Sunny stubbornly refused. No matter how horrible this all felt, he wanted to hold onto his anger. He wanted to ignore his fear, his guilt, his sadness–

He only wanted to be angry and Omori wouldn’t do that. Omori would never fight back.

Because it’s not safe! Sunny, please. Please just go back to playing along. This…you can’t handle this. Let me do this for you.

No.

Sunny refused.

He would not sleep, and he would not eat.

Hero couldn’t make him.

Sunny, you’ll lose yourself ag–!

Omori was pushed away once more. It hurt to do so, and a part of him felt bad. He knows Omori just wanted to help and protect him, but…

Right now, what he needed was a moment of control. Sunny needed a moment where he felt like he had some power. He’d been so helpless this whole time, unable to provide anything for himself. Sunny couldn’t even sleep on his own. He had to take medicine.

He had to rely on Hero for everything.

But why should he? No matter what Hero said, this can’t be right. Mari was never like this to him. Mari was kind and warm. She cared and worried about him, and she wanted him to thrive and learn. She encouraged him to explore and be creative. She always showed and taught him new things, trying to get him to meet new people. Mari wanted him to grow up.

Mari was the older sibling he loved.

Hero was his older sibling too, but…he was nothing like Mari. 

Sunny heard footsteps and glanced to the side, seeing Hero walking into the room with a new plate of pancakes. Sunny narrowed his eye, a burning fire sparking in his chest. Hero smiled down at him and sat on the bed after pulling down the weighted blanket, allowing Sunny to sit up.

“Here you go. I made you some more. Let’s not waste it this time, okay?” Hero tilted his head, eyes lidded.

Sunny grit his teeth and tried to smack the food away again. Hero saw the action and held the plate away, looking at Sunny with a raised brow.

“Do you want to tell me why you’re acting like this?” Hero’s voice was light, and Sunny felt it was incredibly condescending. Hero wasn’t even taking him seriously. Seeing Sunny’s displeased expression, Hero frowned.

“Are you mad about something? Are you bored? Do you want me to get you something? You can tell me.” Sunny remained silent, and Hero continued. “You know, you’re keeping me from work right now. Is that it? Are you upset I’m gone for so long? Are you lonely? Well, that’s why you should go to sleep. Sleep when I’m not here so you don’t get lonely.”

Hero said it calmly, eyes flashing with an unidentifiable emotion.

The fire in Sunny’s chest was growing and growing. Each word spoken made him shake with rage, and he had no idea how to ease it. He just wanted to scream. He was so frustrated. He hated this. He hated Hero.

“Come on, just tell me what’s wrong, sunshine. I’ll fix it to the best of my abilities. You should know I’m reliable by now.” Sunny didn’t react. “It’s okay if you’re shy about wanting things. I know how you are–you feel bad about asking. But don’t worry about it. Your big brother will always–”

“You’re not my brother!” Sunny snapped, voice cracking harshly as he yelled. It wasn’t more than a slightly raised voice, but for Sunny, it was the loudest he could be.

It was quiet, and Sunny could only hear his heart beating in his ears. He felt…good. He felt alive. He felt awake. He felt more alert and like himself than he had since–

“What…?” Suddenly, an ominous pressure weighed down on Sunny. Sunny tensed up completely, and as he hesitantly looked up, the happiness he felt at finally fighting back began to fade. “What are you talking about?”

Sunny gripped the blanket, eye wide as he stared at Hero. Hero stared back, face schooled into fake neutrality. His eyes carried an unfathomable emotion. Sunny didn’t like it. A foreboding feeling suffocated him.

“I…” Sunny heard someone screaming in his own mind. “I want…” Sunny took a deep breath, ignoring his own tremors, “…to…leave.”

Hero stared at Sunny blankly, placing the plate to the side. He didn’t move his eyes away, and he didn’t speak for a long while. Sunny felt dizzy. The more he looked at Hero–the more Hero looked at him–the worse he felt.

The longer this went on, the more Sunny felt like he’d made an awful mistake.

“Sunny…” Hero’s voice was terrifyingly low, and the calm expression couldn’t hide the swirl of emotions in his eyes. “You’re not allowed to leave here.” Hero leaned forward, placing his hands on Sunny’s shoulders. When Sunny tried to look away, Hero reached out and held his face, pulling it back to face him.

Sunny shivered. He was going to cry. He was scared. He didn’t want this. He just wanted to go home. He just wanted Hero to listen to him.

“Now, why are you looking at me like that…? I just want to help you, Sunny. I just want to take care of you. All I’m doing is filling the role Mari left behind for me. How could I let you leave? This is our home. I’m your home. I’m all you have. Everyone else thinks you’re dead. No one is looking for you. I’m sure by now they’ve forgotten about you altogether. ”

“N–No…!” That can’t be true. They had to miss him. They had to be looking for him!

Hero sighed, tenderly brushing the hair out of Sunny’s face. Sunny’s bottom lip trembled, and he continued to stare at Hero with a wide, watery eye.

“Look at you…you’re so helpless. You’re weak. You’re too fragile to do anything on your own. You can’t even lift a measly blanket.” Hero spoke affectionately, smiling gently. “But that’s why I’m here. I’m here to do everything for you and take care of you. I am your big brother. You can’t live without me. You can’t survive in this world because it wasn’t made for someone like you.”

The words rang in his mind, repeating over and over. He resented them, he wanted to disagree with them all and spit them back in Hero’s face. But with each sentence, Sunny felt worse. He felt like Hero was right. After all, he couldn’t do anything. Even when he tried, he failed. He was pathetic.

Silent tears trailed down his face, and Hero gently wiped them away.

“I know it’s hard to accept. I bet you feel strong sometimes, and want to act out. But isn’t it tiring?” Hero hummed quietly, continuing to wipe Sunny’s tears. “I’m sure you know all of this already. I shouldn’t need to tell you.” Hero paused. “You’re hungry, right? I’ll bet your tummy is uncomfortable right now. That’ll make it hard to listen.” He pulled back, once again grabbing the plate.

Sunny stared at it.

“Here you go. You need to eat, Sunny. You’ll feel a lot better once you do. Being hungry and sleepy will make you emotional.” Hero gently pet Sunny’s head, using a similar tone one would use when coaxing a child. “It’s really tasty, I promise.”

Sunny stared at the plate.

He should eat.

He needed to eat.

He upset his brother.

He shouldn’t have said all of that. He was wrong. He was mean–

Sunny found himself turning away from the plate, crossing his arms and pressing his lips together. His irrational side won. He was resolute in his actions.

There was a moment of tense silence. Then, Sunny heard a resigned sigh. He almost relaxed, thinking that Hero finally gave up.

“…Okay. If you’re going to act like a toddler, then I’ll treat you like one.”

Sunny’s brows furrowed, and as he loosened his crossed arms in confusion, he felt himself being pulled. Sunny let out a noise of surprise as Hero cradled him tightly to his chest with one arm, sitting fully on the bed.

Hero moved so he could reach the plate with his right arm, and easily cut off a part of the pancake. Sunny was still confused, and he naturally tried to get out of Hero’s grasp. Hero just held him more tightly, almost squeezing him.

“Here we go.” Hero smiled softly, holding the fork up to Sunny’s mouth. Sunny stared at the food, brain unable to catch up with what was going on. He kept his mouth shut. “You’re still being stubborn?” Hero shook his head slightly, and despite the disappointment in his tone, there was still a heavy amount of fondness.

Sunny felt a little bit of control. At least he could keep his mouth shut. Even if Hero held him it didn’t change a thing. Sunny had the say here, and he didn’t want to eat.

“Alright, I’ll help you then.”

The arm that was around Sunny adjusted slightly, just enough so Hero’s hand could reach his jaw. Hero pressed into Sunny’s cheeks, prying his jaw open. Sunny immediately struggled, trying to protest. Yet, all that came out were strangled whimpers, and tears began to flow from his now narrowed eye.

He cried loudly, blubbering pathetically as he tried to squirm around. Hero just held him still, putting the fork in his mouth and manually closing Sunny’s jaw. Sunny chewed but refused to swallow. It was the last thing he could do to fight what was happening.

But then Hero pinched his nose. Sunny couldn’t breathe. Out of surprise, he naturally swallowed. Hero let go of his nose, smiling softly. “There you go. Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Sunny sobbed, sniffling loudly. He continued to weep and found himself leaning into Hero’s embrace. Hero cooed, placing down the fork momentarily to pet his head and wipe his tears.

Hero soothed Sunny with gentle words of comfort, waiting for Sunny to calm down enough to feed him the next bite. This time, Sunny obediently opened his mouth, chewing on the pancake and swallowing without difficulty. Hero smiled brightly. “Good job.”

Sunny blinked slowly. He took another bite. Then another. He continued to eat, his brain oddly empty as he did. It felt like he wasn’t thinking at all. He was just eating. He was eating, and resting against his older brother. It was peaceful.

Once there was nothing left on the plate, Hero placed the fork down, looking down at Sunny warmly. “I’m so proud of you, sunshine. It must have been hard feeling so hungry and sleepy. It made you all confused.” Hero gently pinched Sunny’s cheek, and Sunny blinked owlishly.

Proud of him?

That’s nice. He’s happy. He was good. He did something of worth.

“Next time you feel like you want to not sleep or not eat, I’ll be sure to help you. Your big brother is always here for you. You know that, right?”

Sunny nodded slightly, as best he could. Hero beamed. He looked so happy. Sunny wasn’t sure why. Did him agreeing really make Hero that happy?

After a moment, Hero started to hum a tune, one Sunny felt was familiar.

That was…Mari’s song. The duet...

Sunny gently grasped Hero’s sweater, curling up.

He liked Mari’s song…

He liked Mari…his big sister…

…She died. He killed her. So he was alone. But…he got a new older sibling. A big brother. That’s…okay, then. He still has a family. A family that doesn’t hurt him…a family that doesn’t yell at him…

Why had he been so upset? He hadn’t been hurt at all since coming here. Hero just wanted him to be healthy and safe. Why did he throw a tantrum? Hero was nice and didn’t hurt him at all. He even made him more food without yelling or getting angry. Hero was nothing like his mean parents. Hero was just like Mari, being nice to him even when he was unreasonable…

Sunny felt himself becoming tired. It was warm curled up next to his brother. He felt comfortable. He felt safe.

Hero continued to hum, and Sunny felt the rumbling of his chest. He grew more and more sleepy.

Sunny…

A sound.

Sunny…please…

Where?

Sunny…!

What?

“Sunny!”

His name?

“Sunny!”

Sunny jolted back, falling out of his chair. He hit the ground, mind swirling. He heard shouting. He heard a yell.

“It’s okay, It’s okay–oh god–Sunny, I’m right here. You’re not with him. You’re not with–with that–” Strangled words.

Sunny stared up blankly, heart pounding. He took deep breaths, blinking both of his eyes. Two eyes.

Two…

Sunny, I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…

Omori.

I thought we were there too…I’m supposed to know better…

It can’t be helped, can it? It’s all so disorienting.

I’m sorry. I should’ve stopped you. I shouldn’t have let you do all of that. I should’ve tried harder.

Well, it was in the past. Plus, that was his own fault. He was stupid.

Pathetic. Really pathetic…

“Can you–can you hear me? It’s Kel…It’s…” A muffled sound. “I don’t know…I don’t know what to do…”

Hm.

It’s strange.

He feels calm.

He feels empty.

Sunny turned his head and stared at Kel. Kel’s eyes were red. Sunny reached out but pulled his hand back. Kel moved toward him, about to help him up.

Sunny made a sound, tensing and curling into himself. He scrambled back away from Kel. Sunny felt extremely aware of everything, yet also not. He was confused, but alert. Kel looked hurt, but Sunny couldn’t do anything about it. He can’t be touched. He’s not allowed to be touched by anyone because it's dangerous. It's dirty. He…

Sunny closed his eyes, shaking.

Those thoughts…all of those thoughts, all of the times he gave into Hero–all the times he thought of him like he did Mari–all of the times he truly believed everything was okay–

I did what I could. I really did. Sometimes, you were just…

Sometimes he was gone. Sometimes he lost himself completely. For days–weeks–or maybe even months at a time, he fell into the state Hero wanted him to be in. Fell into a mindset of being happy with what was going on. Content. Believing it was right.

Omori protected him as best he could. But sometimes…Sunny wouldn’t let him. He wondered if that person, the one who truly believed Hero, was really gone. He wondered if he would forever be haunted by the words Hero would say, the poisonous lies he was told.

The world was dirty and unclean, not meant for someone fragile like him.

…Hero truly thought that, huh? And at some point, he did too. He really believed everyone was out to get him, that the moment he stepped outside he would die. That someone would hurt him. Everyone but Hero was dangerous.

Everyone but Hero was dirty.

Sunny, it’s not…that’s not right…

He’s aware. He knows it’s not right. But right now he feels weird. He feels stuck. His brain is churning, trying to find an explanation. An explanation for what? Who knows. Maybe for everything.

After all…he had to justify what he went through. Five years of his life went down the drain without him even realizing it. Each new memory he retrieves, each new moment or recollection deepens the inexplicable feeling in his body.

There’s something worse.

There’s something he’s not remembering.

He can feel it. There’s something he’s forgetting.

Kel…didn’t know. The doctors probably knew–probably saw the marks on his body. Sunny didn’t know where they came from–the light, barely visible scars on his stomach.

And when he tries to think about it, his head hurts. When he tries to look at them, to study them and figure out what they are–

We can’t remember. We can’t. It’s something we shouldn’t.

A lightbulb seemed to be cracking in his brain with each new memory.

Sunny stopped trying to remember. It’s probably for the better anyway that it remains forgotten. Even if he’s curious, there’s no point. The things he can remember are of no worth.

All the days that blurred together…much of it was the him that had given up. The one not even Omori could get through to. Sunny didn’t have any concept of what those days were like-had he even been truly conscious?

Omori saved him, but…there’s only so much he could do.

Sunny wonders if at any time, he’ll lose himself. He wonders if he’ll have a memory so awful, it leaves him unable to come out of it. Even though right now his head is somewhat clear, if there’s a time where it isn’t…

How is he supposed to handle that? He hates himself because he knows himself.

Do you want me to help?

In what way was that possible?

Do you…want a break?

A break, huh? Sunny opened his eyes–his chattering teeth and trembling body probably making him look pathetic.

Kel’s mouth was moving.

Sunny couldn’t hear a thing.

He closed his eyes. He needed to rest…maybe just for a little while. Just until he no longer felt like he was there.

Just until he hated Hero again.

I’ll protect you.

As he always would.

Sunny faded out of his own mind, seeking solace in a dream.

Omori opened his eyes, immediately reaching out to Kel. Kel’s expression changed, and Omori wondered if he noticed something was wrong.

Perhaps he should help.

“Omori,” he stated simply, still trembling pitifully. Kel’s eyes narrowed in confusion, and they stayed that way for a while. Then, suddenly, realization visibly dawned on Kel’s face. Kel moved forward, and with Omori’s consent, picked him up. Omori leaned into Kel, gripping the fabric of his shirt tightly.

Kel was still talking. Well, mumbling. Omori couldn’t understand a word. Everything was echoing. It was unpleasant, but that was okay. As long as he could protect Sunny, he didn’t mind. He’d already failed before.

He’d failed many times. He also succeeded a lot too.

Still…

Omori was scared. He was scared of losing Sunny. Because although they both don’t fully remember everything yet…there’s something Omori is aware of that Sunny isn’t.

The times where Sunny gave up and gave in…he hadn’t just been 'out of it'. For a while, Sunny had truly become a child.

He regressed completely.

All Omori could do was watch helplessly as Hero got exactly what he wanted-watch as Sunny became what he never wanted to be.

And it could happen again. With the right trigger, the right flashback…

Omori thought that was the moment. And maybe it almost was. If Kel hadn’t raised his voice, Sunny could’ve gotten stuck in that memory. Sunny might have gone too far in his thought process of justification, once again believing in Hero and loving him like he did Mari.

That can’t happen. Omori won’t let it happen. He’ll do everything in his power to be a shield for Sunny.

Omori will protect Sunny.

Omori will protect them both.

****

Kel held his head in his hands, trying to take deep, calming breaths.

“W–Wait…! I…don’t…like it!”

Sunny’s words rang clearly in his mind. Kel couldn’t get over them. Couldn’t get over the blank look in Sunny’s eyes as he suffered through something Kel couldn’t see.

“Big brother…I….I’m sorry…”

Kel ground his teeth.

“I…I want…to…leave.”

What the hell was the context?

“You’re not my brother!”

How was Kel supposed to process this? Sunny’s quiet crying, his whimpering, all of his distress…

Kel had been unable to do a thing.

Because it already happened.

He couldn’t save Sunny from the past.

Kel didn’t even know what happened. All he had was this sickening, nauseous anger. His brain conjured up horrible imagery, attempting to piece together Sunny’s words into a linear scene. But it just got worse and worse. His mind was spiraling, and each new idea made him want to scream.

What did Hero do to him?

So much could have happened during those five long years. And the fact that Sunny hadn’t even remembered all of it yet…

“Omori.”

Omori. That was what Kel had been forgetting. How could he forget something so important? It made sense Omori was still around. It made perfect sense. After all, how could Sunny handle being in that place alone?

Kel heard the door open and quickly gathered himself, pushing his thoughts aside temporarily. He looked up and saw Omori staring back, once again wearing one of Kel’s old shirts. Kel tried to smile.

“Hey…you feeling any better?” What a thoughtless question.

Omori blinked slowly, before shrugging. He’d gone to the bathroom to change. Sunny does the same thing–probably a privacy thing. Omori kept staring at Kel.

Kel felt like Omori could see through him. Although he tried his hardest to compartmentalize his overwhelming emotions, it probably still showed on his face, even if only a little.

Omori walked to Kel’s side and took the seat next to him on the bed, kicking his legs. Kel smiled a little, messing with his own hair.

“Do you want to talk about it…?” Probably not. Kel felt it was dumb to ask. Even if Omori did, could he handle listening? He felt like he was at his wit's end. He felt like he was losing it. That evil bastard–

No, evil wasn’t the right term. Evil implies Hero’s some villain that could be locked away, and in getting rid of him, the problem would be fixed. But that’s not the case. Insidious is a better word.

That bastard, even when caught, will continue to haunt all of them–especially Sunny. The effects of his actions will be forever, and each day the true, horrible reality of what Hero had done will continue to be revealed. Little by little, the past will dig its claws into Sunny–into all of them–and drain them of all their hope.

Hero’s not evil, because evil isn’t real.

It’s too simple. It’s not enough to describe the monster that Hero really is.

“Kel…?”

Kel blinked, turning to the side. Omori looked up at him with slightly widened eyes, and Kel could detect a tangible concern. Kel faltered. Did he make a face? “Sorry…I got lost in thought there…” He rubbed the back of his neck, laughing shallowly.

Omori fidgeted in place, then grabbed Kel’s right arm. He held it to himself. Kel tilted his head. “Is there something wrong?”

“Sunny…” Omori pursed his lips. Kel straightened up, worry set off immediately. Had Omori always been like this…? Did something change? Why did he feel like a person? Of course, it’s not like Omori wasn’t before, but…he didn’t really express himself. His memory could just be bad, though.

“Is Sunny okay?”

Omori shook his head. Kel relaxed his jaw, realizing he was grinding his teeth again. He tried to calm down.

“Is…there anything I can do?” He wants to do something. He needs to do something. He feels helpless.

Omori nodded and held his arm a bit tighter. Kel waited for an answer. Omori leaned on him. “Please…” Omori looked to be struggling, mouth opening and closing. Was he not used to speaking? “Just…don’t leave.”

“Leave?” Kel was baffled. “Why would I leave?” Where did that come from?

Omori looked up at him, slight frustration on his face. “Don’t leave…Sunny alone.” Omori emphasized the last word. Kel was still confused.

“Of course,” Kel frowned. “I would never make Sunny, or you handle all of this on your own.” He made sure to emphasize that he cared for both of them.

Omori looked even more annoyed. He sat back up straight, no longer resting on Kel. His face scrunched up slightly, eyes moving back and forth as if searching for the words to say. Finally, Omori sighed. “Stay around. Physically.”

“…Physically?” Kel repeated, trying to find the meaning behind it. Don’t leave Sunny alone. Stay around. “Oh.” Kel figured it out. “Okay. I was already planning on doing that. It’s good to know that it’s helpful.” Why would he ever leave Sunny alone? Especially after that scene he just saw–how could he feel comfortable leaving Sunny to fend against memories like that on his own?

Plus, with that bastard still out there, he’s incredibly anxious. It could be paranoia, but on the off chance Hero showed up, Kel had to be there. He had to protect Sunny.

“Good.” Omori nodded, satisfied. He went back to leaning on Kel.

The two sat together in comfortable silence. Kel enjoyed the gentle company. Yet…

There was one issue with needing to stick around Sunny.

Kel didn’t have a way to vent out his emotions.

Throughout the past few years, Kel had developed the habit of working out to destress. Be it through a punching bag, or other forms of exercise. He hadn’t been able to do that in a while and he was beginning to feel antsy. All of his anger bubbled just under his skin, and he needed a way to release it before it either exploded, or he bottled it up.

And he definitely didn’t want to bottle it up.

Kel tried to figure out a solution. He thought about it for a while, before he felt a light go off in his mind.

“Hey, Omori,” Kel turned to him with a small smile. “How about you start running with me every morning–or whatever time you prefer. It’ll be good for you to start exercising.” Kel could clearly hear Sunny and Omori’s struggle to even get up the stairs. The thought saddened Kel–and also infuriated him, like always. “Just run as much as you can, and when you get tired, I can carry you the rest of the way.” A good workout.

Omori remained quiet for a moment. “…Okay.” His voice was meeker than before, with an undertone of something Kel couldn’t place.

“Great!” Kel raised a fist in a slight cheer, grinning at Omori happily. “Then let’s start now!”

Omori blinked. “…Now?”

“Now.” Kel nodded. He really needed it. “When we go shopping later this week, we’ll get you some sneakers. For now, I think your shoes are fine since you won’t be running for–which is perfectly fine! Don’t push yourself too hard. Running’s hard if you’re not used to it.” Which Omori and Sunny definitely weren’t.

All Kel needed to do now was get them both out of the house without being stopped by his mom or dad. Ugh…

He really hoped they brought Sally somewhere. He was going to snap at them otherwise. Once again, he knew it wasn’t exactly his mom’s fault, but still…she caused Sunny distress twice already. First with that photo, and now with breakfast. Pancakes.

Was it the pancakes that triggered Sunny? His favorite food…

Kel rapidly shook his head. No thinking about it. Not for the time being.

Right now, he should just focus on helping Omori get some exercise. It’ll be good for him. The doctors also recommended it, saying the drugs in his system may have–

No, no thinking about it. Anything that aggravated him needed to be put at the back of his mind just for a little bit. Once his blood was pumping and he was moving, he could let his brain wander. He’ll be able to think more clearly when he’s got adrenaline in his system.

“Alright, let’s go!” Kel smiled, and Omori tilted his head in return.

The run would hopefully go well.

****

Hero gripped his hair, shuddering.

He couldn’t think straight. He was losing it. He couldn’t handle it.

Everything was so damn loud. He wanted everyone to just shut up!

Hero…?

“No…no, not you, sunshine.” Hero saw black out of the corner of his eye and tried to appease the shadow. “I know you’re just scared and sad right now. I understand.” The horrible visions the silhouette of Sunny gave him were necessary. They hurt him deeply, but he needed them to stay focused. They were his punishment.

And no matter how much the visions and voices distressed him…they also brought him a sort of comfort. Even if it's distorted, even if it’s a twisted apparition that holds none of the warmth that Sunny should…

At least it meant Hero wasn’t alone.

The world was so noisy…his moments of peace were at night, when he could sit in a room without worrying about other’s eyes. He hated smiling at all those despicable, ugly people. He could see through all of them.

To get what he needed, he had to suffer through being a person he wasn’t. Once again, he plastered on his mask. And when he was alone, he tore it off in a frenzy, having to quickly mollify himself before he went crazy.

Hero hates it all so much. He hates everything. That fear of people–that anxiety that plagued him his whole life–

Finally, it had turned into something else.

He didn’t care anymore. Everything he did was for his Sunny’s benefit. No one else mattered. He’d only ever had two people care about him in this life, and he wasn’t about to lose the only one left in his grasp. He’d been plagued by the world enough. Death had already taken his soulmate…he won’t let it take his brother too.

Mari…

He still grieves her. Whenever he remembers her, he feels it in his chest. An agonizing pull of his heart. A deep, throbbing pain in his mind. His grief never left him, but he still found happiness, just as he knew Mari would’ve wanted.

Hero never thought he would be able to be happy without her, but he managed it. By taking on her role, by having that purpose, that promise to live by, he found joy. Every day was practically bliss. Of course, sometimes he still felt that wave of sadness. Sunny did too. Mari was gone forever, and it would never be something they would fully get over.

It was something Hero would never be able to truly understand. He liked to think that something came of her death–that their current happiness was thanks to her. He liked to think some change happened, that her impact on the world justified her death in some way.

But…assigning a meaning to Mari’s death was just for Hero’s own peace of mind. Even if such a tragic loss of life could possibly be said to have a hint of silver lining, it would be overshadowed by heartache and pain. People tend to see preventable death as martyrdom–it alleviates the pain of not having prevented it.

Hero wanted Mari’s death to be about something when in all reality it was a pointless death. Mari was his whole world, yet the world saw Mari as nothing.

And so, he grieved. He grieved for the life they were supposed to have, and the memories they never got to make. Hero had been truly alone for years…but now things were different.

Now he had Sunny. They could support each other and share their burdens and grief. Both of them found solace in their new lives–Sunny once again receiving the care and love of an older sibling, and Hero fulfilling his promise while also finding meaning in life through nurturing Sunny. They were a family.

Help!

Hero looked up, snapping out of his thoughts. The silhouette of Sunny jerked into view, coming closer than it ever had before. Hero’s eyes widened as he tensed, preventing any trembling.

You’re mean…I hate you…!

Hero’s shoulders slumped. He almost felt like crying. Those words brought a memory in his mind to the forefront, but he quickly pushed it away. There definitely were…hiccups at times, but it was just because Sunny would get confused. Sunny’s just a kid so he’d sometimes act out. It was normal.

I don’t want it…

Hero stiffened. He watched the shadow warily, seeing it shift. The longer he looked, the more clear the silhouette became. It was starting to look more and more like his Sunny. It was…discomforting.

Especially because he knew what was coming next.

Help me!

The limbs that had become more clear and controlled suddenly bent. Loud, disgusting cracking noises filled Hero’s mind, and he could only watch as Sunny’s bones broke and his body became mangled. Each time a part of him twisted, a deafening cry of pain rang out. Hero couldn’t stand it.

Hero tried to help. He knew it was pointless, but he couldn’t just sit there. Not when Sunny was suffering!

Hero!

Helpless tears welled in Hero’s eyes as he fell to his knees beside the apparition–beside Sunny. He couldn’t do anything. He could only watch as Sunny’s body bent and broke, the cries becoming more strained as even his audible breathing was raspy. The silhouette solidified more, and Hero could start to see actual features on its face.

They were contorted in pain and misery. There was betrayal.

You left me behind!

“No…no, I won’t. I haven’t. I will never leave you.” Hero’s voice trembled, hands hovering over Sunny. It was pointless. It wouldn’t do a thing. It wasn’t even real. But it sounded real. It was starting to look real too.

Big brother…

Hero watched Sunny die.

…

Hero sat against the old bed, hearing the crickets chirp in the night. For a moment, he remained silent, merely processing what he had just seen.

A quiet, almost humming sound.

Then, a chuckle.

Laughter.

Hysterical laughter.

Hero couldn’t breathe. His stomach hurt.

It’s all so ridiculous.

Wasn’t it funny?

He was living a waking nightmare.

Did he deserve it? Did he really deserve it?

Anytime he has something nice, anytime he’s happy…

The world was against him. He was never allowed to be content.

So why should he care about anything?

Everything was disgusting and wretched. What a terrible place. What a terrible life. No one matters. No one matters at all. Everyone exists to hurt him and ruin his life and take what’s his.

Everyone wants to steal his light. They’re jealous. That monster that took his Sunny…was useless. Did he really think he could get away with that? That he deserved Sunny? Only Hero did. Only he knew how special Sunny was.

In reality, not even Hero really deserved to be in Sunny’s presence. Only Mari was on that level. But, Mari gave him permission to take care of Sunny, and no one else has that blessing. Nobody else was allowed to have Sunny.

That fucker took Sunny, and now Sunny’s in danger. Anything could be happening outside of Hero’s watch. He hated it. He had no control. He had no way of knowing anything. He was lost and scrambling to find any leads.

His hands ached. His arms burned.

He wanted to hurt.

There was too much in his mind–under his skin–

Hero’s hands trailed to his arms, but they didn’t itch. Why didn’t they itch? What causes the itching? How was he supposed to find relief? No, he shouldn’t mar his skin any more than it already was. These scars…they were unsightly.  He worked to get them cleared using creams but there was only so much they could do. After all, for a long time, he’d reopen the wounds constantly and so they never healed correctly.

Scars were hard to make completely fade, no matter how much Hero wished they would just disappear.

Each mark was a reminder of a time passed. Removing the scar was removing the tangibility of the memory, which was often preferable. Because sometimes, scars shouldn’t be there. Some people shouldn’t have them. It didn’t fit. Sunny–

I want…to die!

“NO!”

A memory suddenly broke past his mental block, and a blurry image of Sunny on the kitchen floor, with blood and–

Hero slammed his hand against the bed frame and dragged himself to his feet. No. He was not going to entertain that memory. Sunny had been happy with him. Every time he acted out or–or tried to leave him–

Kids just get confused sometimes! Then they act rashly and hurt th–

Hero stumbled to the bathroom. His head was spinning.

–and that’s okay, that’s all fine! That’s why he’s there to help! That’s why he learned first aid and–

Hero saw his reflection. The mirror was broken–it was a motel, that wasn’t too surprising.

–it was his job to protect Sunny from all harm, including Sunny himself–

The cracks along the mirror separated sections of the glass.

–he was his name, he was a hero, just as he always has and always will be–

His appearance.

–scars can’t be cleared, and he failed, he failed he failed he failed he failed–

Who’s that? Who is that?

–it’s easier to die but he can never die he’s not allowed to he needs to live he needs to take care of Sunny he needs to–

The shards reflected him, and others. It was him, and two other versions of himself. One’s that failed. One’s that were repulsive.

–it has to be this way it was always going to end up this way everyone else was wrong for thinking it was sudden it was always going to happen it was only a matter of time and how could they blame him when what he did wasn’t wrong he saved Sunny he saved him and he’ll continue to save him until he breathed his last breath–

Hero struggled for air. He almost collapsed into the sink, thoughts running rampant and uncontrollably. A part of him realized he was spiraling, and knew he needed to stop. He was teetering on complete panic and frenzy and he needed to pull himself back before he really did something he’d regret.

Help me…

Hero trembled, losing his grasp on reality as anxiety overwhelmed every bone in his body. He didn’t feel real. Nothing felt real. He felt disconnected–he felt like he was asleep and awake at the same time. Completely untethered.

“Sunny…”

Where was Sunny? Sunny always comforted him when he got like this…

It’s cold. It’s so cold…

The person in the mirror looked disheveled. There wasn’t a smile, the eyes were all wrong. Nothing about him was put together. Everything about him was disgusting and vile. He was dirty. That wasn’t him. He would never look like that.

It was taunting him–this mirror was–

Hero slammed his fist into the already shattered glass, causing the rest of it to fall apart, dropping into the sink. Hero clenched and unclenched his hand, watching the blood trickle down to the floor below blankly.

It stung. It stung badly.

It’s…focusing.

He can focus. He can think. He can control his thoughts again.

Slow down. Take a breath.

Sunny…Sunny’s not here…

It’s okay. It’s all okay. He’ll get Sunny back soon. Sunny was waiting for him…

Nothing will get in his way, it’s fine. Everything will be fine. Sunny would be alive–he couldn’t be dead. That didn’t make sense. Hero wouldn’t let that happen. It was too unfathomable–the thought almost made him go crazy.

It’s fine, he knows where he needs to go next. He knows his next step. He knows Keith is close by. He’s almost to his house. He’ll hopefully get a lead there. Keith was reliable. Keith would help him. On the off chance Keith betrayed him–

No. That wouldn’t happen.

Hero stared at his hand, studying the glass stuck in his skin with fascination.

A relieving feeling…the mirror was wretched…

He just needed to get rid of it.

He’ll…get rid of everything.

…

Hero breathed in, then out.

…

Hero pulled out the pieces of glass lodged into his skin, not even flinching from the pain.

The physical pain was nothing compared to the agony in his heart, or the sickening, enigmatic emotions of his mind.

Everything was sifting through his fingers, and with each passing moment, he had less and less to grasp onto. Soon, there would be nothing left. His only comfort was the memories he had, and the anticipation for the future.

The knowledge that he would be happy again soon.

…

Hero stumbled out of the bathroom, spotting his backpack a short distance away.

A shadow flickered in the corner of his eye.

Hero…

Whatever it takes, he doesn’t care anymore. He’ll do anything.

Protecting the one he cares about…not even god himself could look down upon such reasoning for his actions.

How could anyone blame Hero for the things he’s done?

This was all just a trial–a test. And once he succeeded, he and Sunny would go right back to being happy again.

Things would go back to how they should be.

…

Hero smiled.

…

The one thing that justified his existence at all was Sunny.

Chapter Text

Sunny woke up. He blinked slowly, glancing around. A frown formed on his face as he sniffed the air. Usually he could smell breakfast when he woke up.

Sunny got up, grabbing his favorite plushy, Mewo, and sleepily going to the door. His stomach growled, used to waking up and getting food at this time. Sunny paused for a moment. Should he wait for Hero to get him…? But he was hungry…

Sunny decidedly turned the handle.

“Big brother?” Sunny called out weakly, glancing around. Strangely, there was no response. The apartment looked empty. Sunny frowned, worried. “Brother?” He wandered around the living area, checking under the couch and behind counters. He went to the bathroom and looked in there, but still nothing.

Was Hero in his room? Sunny wasn’t supposed to go in there, but…it was important. What if something bad happened? Sunny’s scared. He wanted Hero. He didn’t like being alone, that’s why he slept while his brother was at work.

Sunny gently opened the door, peeking inside. He blinked owlishly, seeing the dark room. It took him a moment to notice the lump on the bed.

Hero…slept in? Sunny frowned, slowly closing the door. He didn’t want to wake his brother up. He worked way too hard and was probably really sleepy. Hero wouldn’t be mad if Sunny woke him up, but it's still not nice. Hero needed sleep.

Sunny hummed, trying to think of what to do. He was hungry, he knew that. His tummy was complaining. And if he was hungry, then Hero probably was too, right? Sunny rocked back and forth, before getting an amazing idea.

He should cook breakfast!

Sunny excitedly went to the fridge and paused. He glanced at Mewo in his arms, then to the counter. He placed Mewo down to watch him cook. An audience member. Moral support.

Sunny turned back to the fridge with shining eyes, a barely perceptible smile on his lips. He looked through it curiously, trying to figure out what to make. Maybe…eggs? Sunny was met with the carton of eggs right in his line of sight, and decided it was the correct choice. How hard could cooking eggs be?

Sunny set the carton down on the counter, then scurried around, looking for a pan. It was in one of the drawers. Sunny set it down on the stove, then turned it on. He’d seen his brother cook before–many times, actually. He remembered how to do everything.

“Egg…” Sunny mumbled, staring at it hesitantly. Cracking it…

Well, here goes nothing.

Sunny couldn’t do it with his bare hands sadly. He was too weak. So he hit it on the counter gently until there was a line, then held it over the pan. He cracked it open, noticing some little shell pieces getting in. Sunny frowned momentarily, then decided it was fine. It’s probably edible.

Sunny did two more eggs, grabbing the random big spoon thing he found. He remembered how Hero did it and began pushing the eggs forward and around, watching them clump together over time. Sunny smiled. He was doing it! He was doing something! He could finally be helpful to his brother.

Sunny’s vision grew blurry. He blinked it away, confused. Why did he almost cry? He was happy. Hm...Hero did say crying can happen if someone’s happy, so maybe it’s that? 

It didn’t take long for the eggs to be finished. Sunny grabbed two plates, stumbling for a moment. He caught himself, no longer going fast. He wouldn’t want to fall or break the plates. The plates would be dangerous if broken! He could get a cut, and that would make Hero really sad.

Sunny grabbed the handle of the pan, giving Hero a bigger serving than his own. Sunny put a hand to his chin, wondering if it was enough. Maybe…toast? Sunny glanced over at the toaster. A loaf of bread was right next to it for easy access. Sunny went over, quickly putting three pieces in. Sunny would only eat one, but Hero was big, so he probably needed two.

Sunny grabbed butter from the fridge, looking around for a knife. He opened the utensil drawer but there were none. No butter knives either. Well, that was fine! Knives were dangerous anyways. He could use a spoon to spread it!

The toast popped up and Sunny jumped. He glanced over his shoulder, glaring. He then turned to Mewo. “Don’t…laugh.” He mumbled, getting the toast ready. He arranged everything nicely on the plates, making everything look good. He felt proud. He…felt proud…

Sunny smiled.

He grabbed the plates, placing a spoon on each. He couldn’t find the forks either, but it should be fine. Those can be prickly. Better to just use spoons.

Sunny gently pushed open the door with his foot, stalking inside. He glanced around and found a short table. He quickly placed the food down. He then went for the light switch before pausing. That might hurt his brother's eyes…

Sunny first closed the door, deciding to use the lamp beside the bed for light so it was dimmer. He clicked it on, finally able to see.

“…Brother?”

Hero looked awful.

His eyes were shut, a washcloth on his head. There was a bunch of medication on the desk beside his bed, as well as an empty cup of water. Hero was breathing, but it sounded shallow. Sunny’s eyes watered.

He reached forward, taking off the warm washcloth. He placed his hand on Hero’s head, then quickly removed it. Hot. A fever! Hero had a fever!

Sunny trembled momentarily. He grabbed the cup and scrambled out of the room, quickly filling it up in the sink. He also drenched the washcloth in cool water, glancing at Mewo who was still waiting on the counter. He’d come back for Mewo later.

Sunny went back into the room, kicking the door shut. He placed the water down, moving to put the washcloth on Hero’s head. “Brother…” Sunny shook him gently. “Wake…up…” He was nervous. Was Hero super sick? What was happening?

Hero’s eyes barely opened, blearily glancing around. Sunny pursed his lips, trying not to cry. Hero’s eyes were so hazy. Sunny should talk. He should wake Hero up, even if talking was hard.

“I…made breakfast. And got…water.”

Hero sat up slowly with a groan. Sunny helped steady him, catching the washcloth that fell. He hesitantly reached up, using it to wipe Hero’s face. He remembered someone doing it for him before.

Hero’s eyes trailed over to Sunny, and he blinked. “Sunny…?” His voice cracked harshly, and he coughed.

Sunny nodded, getting the water and bringing it to Hero. Hero shakily grabbed the cup, taking small sips. Sunny propped up the pillows while Hero drank, then pushed Hero so he was leaning against the bed. Hero mumbled incoherently, growing more lucid.

“Breakfast…I need to make breakfast…” Hero tried to get up, but Sunny quickly pushed him back down. It was the first time Sunny had the strength to do so.

R–n ––ay wh–le y–u –an!

Sunny blinked, shaking his head. He thought he heard a voice but quickly pushed it away. He needed to focus on his brother!

“Sunny…I need to…take care of you…” Hero mumbled, trying to get up again. Sunny just pushed him back.

“I…made…breakfast.”

“Huh…?”

Sunny brought over the short table holding both of their plates. Hero glanced at the meal, then at Sunny. For a moment, Sunny felt uneasy.

“For…me? You…made breakfast…for me?” Hero’s voice wobbled, eyes watering. “You really…” Hero’s shaking hands grasped the plate Sunny handed to him. Hero stared down at the food intently, sniffling. Sunny thought it was from being sick, but then he noticed the tears trailing down Hero’s face.

Sunny waved his hands frantically, not sure what happened. “It’s…okay?” Did Sunny mess up the food? Is that why Hero was upset?

“It’s…perfect.” Hero let out a short sob, grasping the plate tightly.

“Sad?” Sunny sat on the bed across from Hero, holding his own plate. Hero shook his head as best he could.

“I’m so…happy. I’m so happy…you care about me…you made me food…” Hero continued to cry, trembling as he used the spoon to grab some eggs. He took a bite, smiling. “It’s tasty…” Hero’s expression shifted. “It’s...tasty?” His eyes widened, looking at the food with a sort of wonder. He then stared at Sunny. For some reason, it felt a bit...weird? Something about Hero’s eyes...felt very intense to Sunny. If he was older, maybe he could find the word for it.

R–ver–nce.

It was probably nothing.

Sunny was so happy he did well. Hero continued to eat, taking bites out of the toast and eggs. Sunny wondered if the tears made it taste bad, but Hero didn’t seem to mind. Sunny ate along with him and was pleasantly surprised. He did good! The eggs were a bit plain and tasteless, but still, they were good! Plain food was better for sick people anyways.

“Thank you…thank you so much…I haven't tasted in...so...long...” Hero finished eating, blinking slowly as he trailed off. He looked to be fighting sleep. Sunny glanced at the medicine but wasn’t sure what to give Hero. He decided not to risk it. He took the plate from Hero and set both aside, moving the table away.

“Where…are you going…?” Hero’s small, weak voice almost startled Sunny. It sounded so different from usual. Sunny turned around, walking back to Hero’s side. As soon as Sunny got close enough, Hero reached out with surprising speed, wrapping his arms around Sunny.

Sunny flailed a bit before quickly adjusting, letting Hero hold him. Hero continued to cry softly, now into his hair.

“Don’t leave me…please don’t leave me…” Hero hiccupped. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry for everything, so please don’t leave me…I’ll be good, I promise…I’ll be the best brother, I’ll do everything…please don’t leave me…”

Sunny figured Hero was out of it because of the fever. But for some reason, hearing the words ‘I’m sorry’ sent a spark through his mind. As if it was completely unfamiliar. Truth be told, he didn’t know what his brother was apologizing for. He’s been happy every day. Hero has never been mean to him.

“Why…would I?” His own voice was softer than Hero’s. Sunny resented the weakness of his throat, but it couldn’t be helped. It wasn’t even always pain from strain, it was something in his mind, something intensely gripping that prevented his voice. He fought that grip as best he could.

“Sunshine…” Hero sobbed, hugging him tightly. Sunny vaguely felt like he was being held the way he usually holds his own plushies for comfort. “You’re too nice…you’re always too nice…you shouldn’t forgive me. Everything I’ve done…what I’ve taken from you…”

Sunny felt a stirring in his brain.

T–ke a–v–nt–ge of t–i–!

The incomprehensible cries from his mind were pushed away. Sunny patted the arms around him, hoping it was soothing. His eyes trailed across the many scars along Hero’s arms and hands, lips quirking down.

“Why should I be happy…what did I do to deserve this happiness?” Hero slumped slightly, and Sunny figured he was struggling to stay awake. The fever must be pretty bad to leave him this tired. "Sunny…I don’t deserve you…I don’t deserve a little brother like you…I shouldn’t keep you here–”

Hero tensed completely and suddenly, causing Sunny to try and turn around, wanting to see what was wrong. It was kind of scary, yet Sunny was mostly concerned. The last sentence was barely audible–he didn’t understand it.

“No, no…you…you’re happy…right, Sunny? You’re happy here, with me? With your brother…?” Hero’s voice wobbled, higher pitch than normal. Sunny could hear the smile, hear the trembling of his lips. 

N–! S–y –o!

“Yes.” Sunny whispered, patting Hero’s hand. Hero hiccupped, then collapsed to his side, finally losing all ability to keep himself up. He brought Sunny down with him. Hero was shaking badly, to the point where it was concerning. Sunny had no idea what to do. He’d never seen his brother like this. 

“Thank you…thank you…I’m so glad you’re happy…I…” Hero’s legs curled up, and he brought himself into a fetal position. Sunny was held close, very much like a teddy bear or a pillow. Sunny didn’t mind. It wasn’t uncomfortable. It was the opposite, actually. Hero was basically the first family member to show him affection–show him familial care.

There was…someone else, at one point. But she…was gone. For a while he suffered because of her being gone–red welts harsh screams pain terror fear–but it was okay. Sunny was safe here. Sunny was safe with Hero. Hero, who took care of him with no complaints. A guardian in more ways than one.

Hero…saved him. So now Sunny should try and do the same.

“You promise…you promise you’ll stay with me…and we’ll be a family? Forever?” Hero whimpered, sniffling.

S–n–y d–n–!

“Promise.” Sunny ignored the pounding of his heart. Of course he wanted to stay here where it was safe. Stay in a place where no one would hurt him again. Remain inside, comfortable and warm and loved.

Hero wept, mumbling numerous, incomprehensible thanks. He remained holding Sunny, arms occasionally tensing. After a while, Hero’s voice started to die out, until it eventually became even, shallow breathing.

He was asleep.

Sunny tried to get up and wasn’t too surprised when he couldn’t. He probably wouldn’t anyway. What if Hero woke up and got sad he left and started crying again? Sunny wanted his brother to be happy.

So he’ll stay.

W–y –id y–u sa– t–a–!?

Sunny’s brows furrowed, eye narrowing.

Y–u could ha–e conv–nc–d h–m to le– us o–t!

The voice was growing more coherent.

Sunny felt everything begin fading around him and desperately tried to stay awake. Stay in a place where he was warm and safe. He didn’t want to leave! He wanted to stay! Why was he being taken from here!? This is where he belongs!

You don’t b–long the–e!

No! He didn’t want to hear it! He wants to stay with his brother! It’s scary outside, everyone’s dirty and evil!

Sunny, please!

Sunny blinked rapidly, his vision clearing more and more. The environment he was in shifted, and soon, he saw an unfamiliar yet familiar place. This wasn’t his room. This wasn’t Hero’s room. This wasn’t his home.

Snap out of it! Sunny, please come back!

Where…where is he?

“Brother…?” Where’s Hero? This place was unfamiliar. Sunny looked around, breathing quickening as a horrifying reality became clear.

He was outside.

Sunny opened his mouth, prepared to scream and cry, to beg his brother to come save him–

I’m so sorry.

Sunny felt a harsh pull. He was dragged out of the forefront while he was spiraling, unable to fight back in his terrified and confused state.

Omori shook his head to rid of the remaining feelings left over from Sunny. The panic eased, and he could breathe again. It was the thing he hated doing most–taking control without permission. It felt like he was violating Sunny’s trust, but…when Sunny’s in that state, Omori had no other choice. Sunny would be safely tucked away until he came back to his senses.

“Huh? Oh, you’re awake!” Kel walked into the bedroom, smiling cheerfully with a towel over his hair. Omori blinked slowly, sitting up. He rubbed his hands together, grounding himself. He didn’t want to worry Kel. But…maybe he should warn him…? No, this made Sunny way too vulnerable. Omori would take control whenever it happened. No need to tell Kel.

“You should get dressed! Basil and Aubrey will be here any minute now.”

Omori hummed in acknowledgment. Time to get ready for the day.

Kel watched Omori go, sensing something amiss. Was it a nightmare? Hopefully not. He couldn’t begin to imagine what haunted Sunny and Omori in their dreams. What they had to go through–

“Big brother…I….I’m sorry…”

Kel sighed loudly, shaking his head. Not now. Not right now. He couldn’t handle thinking about it. He needed to be sturdy and relaxed for Omori, especially now with Aubrey and Basil coming back over.

Omori came out soon after Kel gathered himself, and Kel gave him a bright smile. “Hey, Omori, if things go well, how about we all go shopping together today? You really need some new clothes.”

Omori tilted his head.

“Shopping. Like…going to a store. I don’t know, I thought it could be fun? All of us hanging out and having a good time…” Kel trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Okay.” Omori agreed, before going directly down the stairs. Kel followed behind excitedly, knowing Aubrey and Basil were waiting outside. Kel said he’d text them when they could come in. He also gave them a heads up about Omori...which caused him to be bombarded with worried texts, asking what happened.

Kel didn’t have the will to answer.

“You ready? I think they just got here.” Kel walked over to Omori’s side, who was looking at the couch with longing. Omori shrugged. That was a good enough answer for Kel. Kel sent out the message.

It only took a few seconds for Aubrey to launch open the door, it almost slamming against the house wall. Omori flinched. Kel leveled Aubrey with an exasperated glare. She grimaced.

“My bad.” Aubrey chuckled nervously, stepping inside. She turned behind herself, gesturing for someone to come in.

It took a moment for Kel to recognize who it was. Omori similarly locked his gaze onto  Basil, eyes widening.

“Hi…” Basil waved shyly, hair a stark shade of green. A thin flower crown rested in his nest of hair, little white flowers contrasting with the color. Kel felt it was somehow familiar despite being so drastically different. The button-up, the overalls…

Basil turned to Omori, body slouching into itself. He nervously fidgeted, waiting for Omori’s reaction. Aubrey braced herself.

“Basil?” Omori blinked owlishly. His voice had a tinge of wonder, something Kel didn’t know Omori could even express. Usually, he was completely monotone.

“Y–Yeah! It’s me! Um, I got a new look. I…thought you would like it? Maybe? I, well…if it’s stupid I’ll change again! If you don’t like it just say so, okay?” Basil played with the straps of his overall, eyes glistening.

Omori walked forward without another word, approaching Basil. Everyone else remained still, unsure of what was going to happen.

Omori stood directly in front of Basil, eyes narrowed and searching. “You…are…” Omori fumbled a bit, and it was almost unsettling. He nervously glanced away, clenching the fabric of his pants. “…A…dream.”

Aubrey and Kel glanced at each other. Whatever the hell that meant.

“Y–You…” Basil’s face flushed completely, eyes sparkling. “You had the dreams!?” Basil’s lips stretched into a wobbly smile, voice cracking.

Omori’s brows furrowed, a bit confused. Of course he did? Basil’s appearance was right from his own head. Did Basil remember all the old drawings he did and try to replicate them to make Sunny comfortable? It was a nice notion. It was much more comfortable in comparison to the appearance reminiscent of that nightmare of a summer.

“I’m…I’m so happy you like it…” Basil clasped his hands together, beaming. His eyes were curved, a genuine joy ornamenting his features. Omori liked how transparent the expression was.

“So everything’s good now?” Aubrey messed with one of her braids.

“Seems so,” Kel said, finding himself walking up to Omori. “You like his new look?” Kel cocked his head to the side. Omori gave a thumbs up. Basil straightened up, no longer hunching into himself. He was taller than Kel remembered. Usually, the timid guy would give off a smaller presence, but when straightened up so confidently, Kel found he was completely unfamiliar to the Basil from five years ago–especially now with the new look.

“U–Um, can…” Basil reached forward before quickly pulling back. “Can I…hug you? I just, it’s been a long time and I really missed you and–” Basil bit his lip, fidgeting in place.

Omori nodded. Basil’s eyes welled with tears and he all but tackled Omori in a warm embrace, trembling from relief. Omori stumbled and Basil quickly held him steady. Aubrey awkwardly stepped near, her own eyes shining. “Um, is it alright if I…join?”

“A group hug?” Kel opened his arms with a slight shrug.

“Okay…” Omori barely whispered.

Aubrey almost stumbled forward, wrapping her arms around both Basil and Omori. Kel joined, a soft smile on his face. He had a full view of Aubrey’s expression and decided not to say a word. Her reluctance to show vulnerability was much less intense than it used to be, but it was still there. She couldn’t help the tears gathering on her lashes.

“We…missed you all.”

Kel blinked. Did he hear that right? It didn’t seem like Basil or Aubrey heard, too caught up in their own emotions. But Kel always kept an eye and ear out, alert and attentive at all times. ‘We’…so Sunny missed them. Omori missed them.

Kel briefly wondered if they’d ever cried out for help during those years, hoping their friends would come. Kel’s arms twitched, hands gripping his friends slightly tighter. If anyone noticed, they didn’t comment.

“Alright, alright, I’m done with the sappy stuff,” Aubrey said with a stuffy voice. She pulled back from the hug, but not before discreetly pressing her lips to Sunny’s head. A gesture of pure affection, probably instinctive. Her hands were shaking. “We’re going to wear Omori out before we even get to the mall.”

“Mall?” Basil tilted his head. Omori mimicked the motion.

“Yeah! Sunny and Omori need a new wardrobe.” Kel gestured to the current clothes Omori was wearing. “Those are just my old clothes. They don’t really fit right, but it’s all we had. Didn’t want to shop for him since I don’t know what he likes. No reason for me to do it for him when he can do it himself.”

Omori’s gaze flashed, breath stuttering momentarily.

“That makes sense.” Basil bobbed his head up and down. “Are we going now? It sounds really fun!”

“Need to get Basil more clothes too so this works out.” Aubrey added, side-eyeing him. Basil met her gaze, smile turning sheepish.

“We might as well go now! We can get food while we’re there.”

Omori once again flinched. Kel noticed, eyes narrowing briefly.

“Cool. Can I drive?” Aubrey lifted up her hand, showing off her keys. There was a bunny keychain attached. She didn’t wait for an answer, already leaving the house. Kel’s smile twitched. He sighed one again.

“Why ask if you’re just going to do it anyway?” Kel grumbled under his breath, gesturing for Omori to follow.

“If you have something to say, speak up, man–bun.” Aubrey snickered, twirling her keys.

“Now that’s just a lazy jab.” Kel rolled his eyes.

“Lazy, but it’s still funny. I’d call you a hippy if you weren’t so…you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Whatever you want it to, sweetheart.” Aubrey turned briefly, fluttering her eyelashes. She then cackled at Kel’s scrunched-up face, shaking her head.

Omori glanced between the two, warmth filling his chest.

****

“Wow, it’s pretty empty today…” Kel said, glancing around at the few groups walking around.

“Better that way,” Aubrey replied, smacking Kel on the back. Kel didn’t flinch, merely looking at her with fake annoyance.

“What’s with the hitting, huh? What’d I do to you?”

“You’re fucking massive and blocking my view. Do not walk in front of me, please.” Aubrey moved around him, situating herself next to Omori. “I know a good place for some edgy clothes, let’s go!” Aubrey whispered much too loudly.

“Edgy?” Kel glanced over Aubrey’s outfit. It wasn’t overly ‘edgy’, but it definitely had elements of it, like the black fishnet tights and chained belt. “Omori, what do you think?”

Omori’s eyes were practically sparkling. Aubrey grinned victoriously, gesturing for everyone to follow her.

“We can get you some cool shirts and accessories. They’ve got some shorts and skirts, but honestly, I don’t find the quality all that great. Sizing is a bit weird.” Aubrey continually looked back at Omori. Kel wondered if she was doing it on purpose.

Kel could keep it hidden for the most part–the way he scanned the area and discreetly checked behind himself. Every person who walked past was scrutinized, and Kel wondered if Omori noticed that the three were almost escorting him. Kel was behind him to watch his back, and Basil and Aubrey were on either side, preventing Omori from being open.

With that bastard on the loose, there could never be complete security. But the least they could do was provide Omori with a pocket of peace and a sense of normalcy. It wasn’t fair to deprive him of normal life just because some creep was trying to ruin everything.

Each time Kel thought of him, the person in his mind grew more and more into a stranger. The loose familiarity was fading and it allowed all his hateful thoughts to fester without guilt. That insidious presence would hopefully be locked away soon.

Forgiveness wasn’t a virtue Kel needed.

“Alright, let’s go in!” Aubrey never touched Omori, yet Kel could see the way her hand gravitated to his arm, having to constantly stop herself from making true contact. Basil was much the same.

In all honesty, Kel was glad he could make physical contact. Omori wasn’t as clingy as Sunny was, but still. Aubrey and Basil could only hover. Kel didn’t really feel bad. They don’t fully know yet what happened to Sunny.

They didn’t see Sunny’s room in that place. Didn’t see Sunny’s breakdowns, the way he lost himself to the past and became trapped in his own mind–

Kel took a deep breath. He then exhaled slowly.

Focus on the present. Right now, he should smile. They were all together again, and they were happy.

Everything was fine.

****

“Do I really have to carry everything?” Kel said, brows furrowed. His arms were full of shopping bags. He was basically a rack at this point, with Aubrey adding more bags with each place they stopped by.

“You’re the strongest!” Aubrey grinned back at him. “If you didn’t want to carry bags you shouldn’t have gotten so tall. You also shouldn’t have gotten jacked.” Aubrey pointed directly at his sleeves. “Your muscles are hidden…but I can sense them.” Aubrey’s nose twitched. “I could still beat you in a fight, though.”

“Right…” Kel wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Omori, do you like this?” While the other two bantered, Basil lifted up a large black shirt. It had a multitude of flowing grey patterns imprinted on it. Omori nodded rapidly, taking it. It was the second time he’d reacted completely favorably, usually just giving a short nod. The other time he got excited was at some jean shorts with multicolored pockets.

“Hey, Omori, we should probably get some other clothes. I just realized we really only have graphic tees.” Aubrey jerked her head to another section in the store.

Omori paused, brows furrowing. “I…like graphics.” He managed, glancing away. There was something unnerving about it. 

“I didn’t take you for the fanboy type.” Aubrey tilted her head. “We’ve got all sorts of bands and shows. I haven’t even heard of some of these.”

“M’ not.” Omori shook his head.

“You just like the style?” Aubrey’s brows furrowed. Kel felt uneasy.

“I…” Omori shuffled a bit. “Like…new things.”

“New things?” Aubrey pursed her lips. “New things like...new bands and shows?” Omori nodded in response. Aubrey was even more confused. “Why?”

Omori opened his mouth then quickly snapped it shut, as if catching himself. His eyes widened momentarily and he looked down, gripping the fabric of his shirt. He stepped toward Kel in something reminiscent of subconscious action.

Kel’s confused concern transformed into horror.

The apartment…only had old movies they watched when…they were kids. Nothing new. No cable. The police raided the place and yet all they found were old games and books. Everything was dated. Along with the lack of anything to tell time, the plushies–

Kel’s breath hitched, and he realized he’d placed his hand on Omori’s shoulder. Omori discreetly grabbed his hoodie sleeve.

“Let’s go to the next store.” Kel smiled at Basil and Aubrey, hoping desperately they wouldn’t ask–hoping they wouldn't question the abrupt change of subject.

“O…Okay…?” Aubrey awkwardly turned away, poorly hiding her worry. Basil was better at schooling his expression, returning to a content smile. It was a bit unsettling how quickly his face changed.

Either way, Kel would have to tell them later.

Maybe.

****

“Omori, Aubrey wanted me to give you thi–” Kel barged into the changing room, not expecting Omori to have already taken his shirt off. Omori’s eyes widened and Kel quickly tossed the shirt over, ducking out with his eyes closed. “Sorry! Sorry! I didn’t know you were changing!”

Omori didn’t say a word, figuring Kel didn’t see anything.

Kel stood outside the room, putting a hand to his forehead. He really hadn’t meant to invade Omori’s privacy like that. He hoped Omori wouldn’t resent him for that. It was an honest mistake.

…

Kel’s hand lowered.

He hadn’t meant to look.

He hadn’t meant to invade Omori’s privacy.

…But he did.

And he saw.

He saw it. All of it.

The scars littered across his stomach, jagged and of different sizes. Healed as much as they could, indicating the deepness of each wound. Kel expected to freak out, to have his thoughts running a mile a minute, trying to determine what happened, trying to find reason–

But there was nothing. The image was imprinted on his mind, much like every instance of suffering Kel saw and every piece of information he learned. The disturbing explanations he pushed aside, ones so terrible he couldn’t believe he came up with them–

It didn’t really matter, did it?

Because he knew whose fault it was.

Kel didn’t know half the pain Sunny went through, and a part of him didn’t want to. It was a gross, selfish part of himself that clung to hope that this could be left in the past. No matter how much he tried to kick down that idealistic and optimistic part of himself, seeds had been left behind, vines of false positivity occasionally digging into his mind. He pretended he had no hope. He pretended the old him was completely gone, that he threw everything away at that dock five years ago.

But he’d been clinging on. A tiny, minuscule part of the old him had remained.

And it’s stupid.

Because now it hurts. It hurts because it’s finally being put down after years of desperately clinging to life. The fire under his skin burned away every single vine and seed. It was pointless for him to believe everything was fine. It would never be fine. Not as long as that bastard was out there. Not as long as that bastard was alive.

Kel clenched his hands with wide eyes, head falling to the side. An idea solidified, and it was in that moment he finally understood what it meant to mind.

****

Hero stood outside of Keith’s apartment, eyes slightly narrowed.

A strangeness permeated through his body, his perception, his everything–

It was almost familiar, in a sense. As if a fog overlaid over his vision–an unwelcome vignette.

No matter.

Hero knocked on the door three times fast and paused before knocking again. After some footsteps, he heard locks clicking, and the door opened to reveal a tired yet happy Keith.

“Did you get the fuel?”

“Yeah.” Hero gave a short nod, smiling. Keith welcomed Hero in, messing with his gloves. Hero glanced up and checked the clock.

6:00.

“Great. I can get that motorcycle up and working for you now!” Keith had soot on him from working on the bike, which Hero didn’t enjoy. But for what Keith was doing for him he’d put up with the dirtiness.

It’d been three days since Hero had started staying with Keith. They had an emotional reunion. Some hugs, some wishes of being well, complimenting of Hero’s new look, and then…nothing. Keith hadn’t asked a thing, hadn’t spoken about anything. As if Hero really was just an old friend visiting, nothing more, nothing less.

Hero appreciated it. Keith was a good friend…which he'd always been. They’d been close since meeting in college. Keith got caught up in some stuff just due to circumstance, and after Hero vouched for him, things got better. They’ve both helped each other. And now, once again, Keith was being kind.

All they’ve spoken about was the memories they had and whatever Keith had been doing over the five years. Keith spoke more than Hero did, but it didn’t seem to bother him. Hero was glad. He was barely holding it together as is.

Today was probably their last day together, as least for a while. Hero really enjoyed the moment of peace he had. Of course, his mind was still filled with worry over his little brother, but Keith was a good friend. He was probably the only other somewhat clean person in this world. When Keith’s around, the…reminder fades. When another presence is around, Sunny won’t appear. It…made him sad, in a way. He missed Sunny. But…not the visions.

Maybe…maybe when he got Sunny back, he could let the two meet again? These past three days have been really nice, and Hero really needed someone else to help with Sunny. He couldn’t have him taken away ever aga–

Sunny got lonely sometimes. When Hero went to work Sunny would get upset and want him to stay–that’s why Sunny slept instead. It was always heartbreaking to have to go against what Sunny wanted, but he needed the money to take care of everything.

…Maybe Keith would go with him to look for Sunny? No, that’s asking too much of him. Keith had done enough already. And…Hero was sort of deluding himself, thinking he’d be willing to have Sunny under anyone else’s care, even for a moment. Keith could visit. That would be the limit.

“By the way, I ordered some pizza a while ago. It should be here soon. Could you get the door while I finish up?” Keith called out, voice light.

“Sure.” Hero nodded, sitting down on the couch. It was a nice, small apartment. Just enough for Keith. Hero had managed by sleeping on the couch–it really wasn’t so bad. The T.V drowned out the noise of his mind.

…

Hero glanced at the clock.

6:30.

Hero held the pizza in his hands, placing it down on the table. “Food’s here!” Hero shouted, and the sound of a clattering tool echoed. Keith entered the room shortly after, heading directly for the pizza. “Hey, wash your hands first.”

“I was wearing gloves.” Keith snorted, taking them off and putting them aside.

“Still have to wash them. You know I always do it before we eat.” Hero used his head to gesture to the sink as he took off his own gloves. Keith sighed, obliging with a grumble.

The two quickly split the pizza, heading to the couch. Keith turned on the T.V, shoving down a whole piece faster than probably healthy. It sparked a familiarity in Hero’s brain, but he brushed it off.

It was a comfortable silence. It didn’t last too long, though. Keith suddenly slowed in his eating, turning to Hero with a smile. A sort of smile. “What is it?” Hero could tell something was up.

“Well, I just…before you go tomorrow…” Keith glanced away, hands flexing briefly. “I remembered something. I thought I should tell you now that you’re better rested…” Keith rubbed the back of his head, chuckling awkwardly. Hero’s eyes briefly narrowed.

“Yeah?” Hero prompted, taking another bite to appear nonchalant. He understood why Keith would wait. When Hero first arrived he’d been exhausted, having not been sleeping for a good two days. The workout method failed him sometimes.

“Hero! You–” Keith caught Hero as he collapsed into his arms, soaked from the storm.

“H–He took him…I…I lost him…I lost him…” Hero mumbled, leaning into Keith. “It’s my fault…I wasn’t careful…I should’ve been there…”

“It’s…” Keith put a hand on Hero’s back, unsure how to comfort him. “Here, come inside. We…we can talk. Or, I’ll just…distract you. How about that?”

Hero nodded meekly against his shoulder.

“So…I never told you because I didn’t want to needlessly worry you. I know how you can get sometimes…especially recently…” Keith looked down at his hands, no longer eating. “But…someone came by my house. Not this apartment. My old house. He came when I was visiting my pops.”

“Oh.” Hero stopped eating too. His stomach churned. “Someone…found you.”

“Sort of?” Keith grimaced. “He…was a bit weird. He had a missing poster. Of…Max.” Keith chewed on his lip. “Well, it–it said Sunny, actually. It, well, the guy also called Max Sunny too, and…” Keith glanced at Hero, eyes shining with confusion. He was waiting for an explanation.

Hero forgot he lied about Sunny’s name. He was more cautious at the time–cautious? What a fucking joke. Hero just didn’t want anyone else saying Sunny’s name–not completely trusting Keith.

“Oh, that. It’s kind of a long story.” Hero sighed. “I’m sorry if it seems like I’ve been lying to you, but trust me, I can explain.”

“Of course, Hero. I wasn’t doubting you. I figure there’s a reason.” Keith said earnestly. Hero almost smiled.

“So, Sunny has this…thing. When he gets stressed enough, he’ll change into someone else.”

“What?” Keith furrowed his brows.

“Yeah, it’s strange, but…it helps him cope with everything, I think. And it doesn’t cause any harm. He changes into someone named Max.” Sorry, Omori. But this was the easiest explanation. It was mostly the truth, too. All Hero did was change the name.

“That’s…kind of crazy. But I think I’ve heard of it before? Maybe?” Keith shrugged. “Well, I believe you. Max did seem out of it most of the time, at least from what I saw when you guys stayed with us.” Keith tapped his fingers on his thigh. “So Sunny is…his real name?”

“Yes.” Hero ripped the answer from his throat. It’s fine. If anyone can say his name, it’s Keith. Keith wouldn’t do anything–Hero still hated hearing someone else saying Sunny’s name–because he was different. Keith understands and trusts Hero. Sure, it was built on some stretched truths and white lies, but what did it matter?

“Good to know. I’ll start calling him Sunny, then?”

“If you want.” Hero managed a twitchy smile. Keith didn’t notice the tension.

The clock ticked.

6:50.

“Cool. Um…anyways, continuing on…” Keith shifted in his seat. “Well, the guy had like…long brown hair up in some kind of bun, and this hoodie. It was orange with grey sleeves. He said his name was Kel, and then he dropped a bomb.”

“Kel…?” Hero paused.

Kel.

Long brown hair…

Up in a bun…

“Yeah, he claimed he was you and Sunny’s brother. I acted stupid so he would back off and then quickly left the house after that. But he said some really weird stuff. It’s…kind of been on my mind. I trust you more, of course, but I’d still like to know.”

“Kel…he…” Hero clenched his jaw, gripping his knees. “He was…”

“You okay?”

“Kel…took him?”

“What?”

“Kel…took Sunny.”

A man with long brown hair and a hoodie, kidnapping Sunny.

“Hero, are you okay? Do you know him?”

“He used to be my brother. He…was my parent's favorite.” Instant on-the-spot lies. Not lies. A truth in some universe. “They didn’t do anything to him. I…I just thought he would be on our side. I…”

“Hero?” Keith placed a comforting hand on Hero’s shoulder. Hero shuddered. He couldn’t think. This was too much.

Why did Kel have to do that? Why did Kel have to do that!?

Hero stood to his feet, immediately pacing.“No…no, this isn’t happening. This can’t be happening!” Hero shook his head. “I refuse to believe it’s Kel!” A part of him still cared for Kel, still wanted to have those old memories in his mind. But they were becoming tainted with betrayal. With disbelief.

With guilt.

“I…I did nothing wrong…why is Kel…how did he…” Hero knew Kel wasn’t stupid like a lot of people thought he was, but he wasn’t the smartest either. He ran on emotional impulse and would hardly think things through. How could Kel track him down?

How could Kel take Sunny?

“Hero, it’s okay. We can–we can talk about this.” Keith stood up slowly, reaching out a hesitant hand.

“What am I supposed to do!?” Hero whipped around to face Keith, stalking forward and grabbing his shoulders. “Keith, I can’t kill my own brother!”

“What? Kill? Hero, what are you talking about?” Keith’s brows furrowed, a slight tremor to his voice.

“I have to get Sunny back! But Kel’s going to be surrounded by people, isn’t he!? He–he could probably convince Sunny to stay! Sunny’s always trusted him but–but he’s just too young to understand that it’s wrong! He’s just a kid!”

“I–” Keith’s gaze flashed. The warmth in his gaze diminished. “T–The poster said he was fifteen at the time of going missing–”

“And!? How is that helpful!?”

“Isn’t he twenty now–?”

Hero almost growled, shoving Keith away. His mind was spinning, trying to piece together what to do. His brain was filtering out emotions he couldn’t handle, pushing away the rising guilt.

“Hero I…just calm down, okay? Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Sunny was safe with me!” Hero wasn’t acting smart. He was speaking out his thoughts, reality shifting and blurring. He wasn’t keeping into account that Keith wasn’t in the same mindset. “And Kel’s going to get him killed! Sunny needs to be inside, with me, where it’s safe! Where I can protect him!”

“I–what–I think I get it–wait–” Keith stepped away while stammering. His shoulders tensed up, watching Hero spiral.

“You understand, right!?” Hero lurched forward, grabbing Keith’s arm. His smile was desperate. “I–I have to get Sunny back! I promised I would protect him! Kel–I–he doesn’t…he doesn’t…” Hero covered his mouth. “He…doesn’t matter. I just…if I hurt him, it’s only because it’s...it’s for Sunny. Right. Kel cast me away…Kel hates me. Kel wants me dead. Kel doesn’t…see me as a brother…”

The gears were turning.

Keith tugged on his arm, a bead of sweat trailing down his forehead. He swallowed, eyes darting around Hero’s face, almost studying.

“Hero, you’re being weird…this isn’t like you. What’s happening?”

“They all think I’m wrong, but you don’t, right!?” In the corner of his eye, Hero spots the time.

7:00.

Everything blurs.

Hero see’s double, just for a moment. Keith’s face splits. It’s foggy. His body feels sluggish. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Or something does. He doesn’t know what. What’s happening?

Hero’s eyes trail to the clock.

7:18.

“Whoa, dude, it’s okay. Here, let’s sit down. You don’t look too good…” Keith puts his arm over Hero’s shoulder, gently guiding him back to the couch. Hero all but collapses into the cushions, breathing heavily and clawing at his chest. It burned. His skin was on fire.

Calm and collected. Calm and collected. He needed to keep it together and yet his body was betraying him. His heart was beating harshly in his shallowly rising chest. He couldn’t swallow down a gasping, desperate inhale of air. A black shadow flickered in the corner of his eye.

“A-Are you good? Ah, that’s a stupid thing to say, um…I’ll get you some water?” Keith scrambled around, completely unsure how to handle the situation. He filled up a cup and brought it over, helping Hero to sit up straight. Hero grabbed the cup and chugged the water, breath hitching and causing him to choke.

Keith pat Hero’s back, glancing around nervously.

“Look, I…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you worked up. I should know better. You’ve been handling it all so well I just…forgot how much this all probably sucks for you. I can’t imagine how awful you feel. Max, he’s…I know how important he is to you.”

Hero dropped the cup, grabbing his head. Keith quickly caught the item and set it aside. Hero opened his mouth in a silent plea, but nothing came out. Something was so incredibly wrong and yet there was a kind, grounding presence next to him. Exactly what he needed.

“Here, I’ll turn on the T.V.” Keith fumbled with the remote, quickly turning it up and flipping to a random channel. A movie played and Keith relaxed, checking on Hero. “Do you want it louder?”

Hero nodded.

Keith turned it up.

Hero couldn’t hear the clock ticking anymore.

“BANG”

“Oops, that’s a bit too loud.” Keith mumbled, the gunshot from the movie ringing out around the house.

“BANG”

Hero stared at the T.V.

“Click”

Keith continued to turn down the volume, and yet it felt as loud as it was before. Deafening.

“Click”

“Two rounds, huh…” Keith snorted, setting aside the remote.

Hero turned his head slowly.

“It seems like an old movie.”

Hero looked behind Keith’s bright red hair, a hue not unlike something he’d seen before. A familiar shade. He looked farther on, and as the movie and Keith’s voice both faded out, Hero saw the time.

7:23.

Hero turned away.

“You feeling a little better?” Keith pat Hero’s shoulder, concern clear in his eyes. Hero met his gaze and thought with strange clarity that Keith’s eyes were very clear. A good person. Keith was a good person. Keith was more than a good person, he was Hero’s friend. One of the only people left Hero could talk to outside of his sunshine.

Keith was important to Hero. Keith’s friendship was one of the few remaining things Hero cared about at all.

Accepting. Understanding. Trusting. Loyal.

“Ah, gross. This movie’s kind of gory.” Keith’s face scrunched up, glancing down at his pizza hesitantly. He gently set it aside. “Yeah, I’m done with that.”

With bright, flaming red hair, with tattooed arms and ripped clothing–

“Keith, I wanted to know…why’d you dye your hair?”

“Huh? Oh, I just…wanted change, I guess? You know how my old school and neighborhood were…people were pretty shitty. I just…I needed to feel okay. Tattoos, piercings, hair…they’re some of the only things I can control. My appearance is something I can dedicate entirely to myself. And so I just…kind of go crazy with it?”

“That’s…honestly not the response I expected.”

“…You’re smiling. Are you laughing at me!?”

“No! Of course not! I just…I’m starting to wonder if maybe I should do the same.”

With a kind smile, with an open heart and mind–

“You know, you really don’t give off the impression that you’re a softy.”

“…Is that an insult? Hero, are you mocking me?”

“How could you even think that? I would never insult a friend!”

“You’re laughing. You’re making fun of me, and you’re laughing.”

“Come on! You know I’m right. You’re probably the nicest person I’ve ever met and you really don’t look like it. You’re a walking contradiction.”

“And you’re a walking goody toe shoes. You call me nice but you let everyone step all over you.”

“…I don’t….”

“You really do. I keep having to get people to stop bugging you all the time for favors. You’ve gotta' get some self-esteem, dude.”

“I…have plenty of self-esteem.”

“Sure you do. And don’t worry about it. I’ll keep away the leeches. I know you don’t have the heart to turn anyone away.”

With years of past friendship and confiding in one another–

“Thank you…thank you so much…” Keith sobbed, hugging Hero tightly. Hero pat his back, a soft smile on his face.

“It’s nothing. I know you wouldn’t do any of that. You don’t deserve to be punished for something you didn’t do.”

“Thank you for believing me…”

“Of course. I know you would do the same for me.”

With all of that…

Hero stared at the T.V screen, ripping his gaze from Keith.

“This song’s so sad…” Keith slumped into the couch.

The scene played a mournful tune, one Hero couldn’t identify. A man hovered over a body, crying and apologizing and begging for forgiveness. A gun was thrown haphazardly to the side.

“I feel bad for him…he didn’t mean it. But it was stupid of both of them to fight like that, yanking a gun back and forth.”

“Right. It’s pretty dumb.”

“What a miserable ending for the both of them.”

Hero watched the man stare at his hands, and then upwards as if to speak to god himself.

“Why did it have to end this way?”

The movie ended with that line.

…

Hero glanced behind Keith, straight at the clock.

7:23.

Hero’s hands trailed to his arms.

7:23.

He began scratching.

7:23.

It itched.

…

“You want to watch something less depressing?” Keith asked, still leaned back into the couch.

“Sure.” Hero shrugged.

And the clock resumed ticking

Chapter Text

What does it mean to change?

Basil stared down at the old black sweater in his hands, a word on the tip of his tongue. He’d brought it with him. In the small number of suitcases they brought with them to stay in Faraway, Basil bothered to bring it back with him.

A piece of Sunny.

Sunny before the never-ending nightmare. 

“I want to spend more time with you,” Basil murmured, a sketchbook open next to a closed one. Basil’s fingers trembled, pencil shavings underneath his skin. He stood up off of the bed, walking toward his old desk. He took out the chair and sat down, placing the sweater on his lap.

He opened up the closed sketchbook, briefly looking through all of Sunny’s old drawings. A smile danced across his lips, eyes curving in fond joy. He gently closed it and turned to the copy.

A copy in brand, whilst the pages were different.

Basil flipped it open. In the corner was a number, double digits. Marking which sketchbook this was. Ordered for progress.

Basil turned over around twenty pages, smoothing out the already even paper. He picked up a pencil, smiling softly.

“How should I draw you today?” Basil hummed, resting his cheek on his palm. With narrowed eyes, he tapped the eraser side on the page. After a moment, he decided to just do the classic portrait.

After all, it’s the style he drew in most over his daily drawing sessions–the ones he started a week after Sunny disappeared.

There were a lot of sketchbooks stored away.

Basil sketched quietly, immediately feeling calm wash over him. The times in which he drew were when he was most relaxed and happy. Of course in the beginning it was a bit more stressful–he used to be terrible at drawing.

But drawing every day for five years will naturally make you improve. Especially since he only drew Sunny. He cycled through different styles, sometimes doing cute cartoons or more abstract pieces. But it was always Sunny. That was his whole reason for drawing.

He couldn’t see Sunny in real life besides the photos he already had. So he created more photos from his mind, more images of his precious best friend. Happy, sad, angry, all varieties of emotion. Different poses, different clothing…

Basil dragged the pencil across the page, forming Sunny’s jaw.

Now it was different. Now, Sunny’s back. Basil could see him anytime he wanted.

The page dented under the weight of his hand.

He should be able to see Sunny anytime he wished.

But Kel wasn’t letting him.

They all went to the mall with Omori not long ago, and it was so fun. Basil loved every second of being with all of his friends. Basil loved both Sunny and Omori. Of course, Sunny would always come first, but that was just because they knew each other longer.

Omori was still a dear friend.

Basil carefully flicked his wrist.

“What do you think, Sunny? You want to hang out with me more, right?” Basil smiled gently, uncanny confidence underlining each word. “I know you feel safe with Kel. He saved you, after all.”

Basil shaded underneath the jaw, a question rising in his own throat.

“Why didn’t I…help him look?”

He paused.

“I…”

He gripped the pencil.

“If I saved you…”

Bending.

“Would you be clinging to me instead?”

SNAP.

Basil blinked rapidly, staring at the broken tool in his hand.

“Ah.” Basil tossed it into the trash, an almost familiar movement. He grabbed the other pencil on his desk and went right back to drawing. He couldn’t leave Sunny unfinished.

“I think Aubrey said I couldn’t.” Basil sighed, clicking his tongue. “Something about my mental stability?”

A hollow laugh.

“As if that’ll ever be rectified.”

Basil lovingly drew the details in Sunny’s eyes–he always left the irises for last. They always brought life to the picture. It hadn’t been too difficult moving from drawing an eyepatch to instead two eyes. It was actually wonderful. No more fabric covering the face, only Sunny’s brilliance in full view.

In this…Sunny was smiling.

Sunny was happy.

“You’re happy now, right?”

It seemed to be the case.

But…

“If that stain comes back, would you…still smile?”

Probably not.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that.”

The moment Basil saw Hero…

“I won’t let you be taken away from us ever again.”

Regular garden shears wouldn’t suffice.

****

Something was there.

Sunny turned, the ever-expansive white space spreading past the scope of his vision–the white space he didn’t intend to be in.

“Are you okay now?”

Sunny glanced up, Omori looking down at him, eyes gleaming with emotion. It wasn’t the reproach Sunny would expect. It was genuine concern, worry, and maybe even fear.

“I don’t know.” Sunny trembled, staring down at his hands. “I…I want to…block this out. Why can’t I…remove the memory?” Why couldn’t he remove the moments of his regression? Of the way he gave in? He’d forgotten before. He wanted to forget again. It was pathetic and weak. It was the worst part of himself and it was himself. It wasn’t like he and Omori, who were distinctly different after those five years.

Sunny was always Sunny. Sometimes he just chose the simpler route, the one that was easy and allowed happiness.

Giving in.

Being a child.

Loving Hero like a big brother. Loving Hero like he loved Mari.

Sunny’s lip curled, bile rising in his throat. It was a disgrace to her memory comparing her to Hero.

“You can’t forget.” Omori glanced to the side. A barely strung-together lightbulb dangled from nothingness. “It won’t fit. Something’s already in there.” Omori spoke freely, unconcerned. But it was fake. Sunny saw the way his hands twitched.

“Do you know what’s in there?”

“I don’t. But I know it’s connected to…” Omori put a hand over his stomach, glancing away. Sunny felt his heart drop, a chilling cold sinking into his bones.

A voice echoed from the lightbulb, incomprehensible. Both Omori and Sunny covered their ears. The lightbulb was acting out. The memory was trying to escape. They’ve barely had time to enjoy the company of their friends, and already everything was threatening to shatter.

“You’ve been away too long.” Omori slowly removed his hands, seeing the lightbulb rest. “Kel’s worried. Aubrey and Basil are worried. It’s been almost a week. You have to come out.”

“…A week?” Sunny trembled.

“I don’t blame you.” Omori’s talkative behavior always took a moment to get used to. Talking in white space was a different feeling from reality, so it let them communicate without leaving them having to stare at each other. “You got stuck in that memory.”

“Thank you…for being patient.” Sunny was glad Omori took control. If his friends saw him like that…

Better not to think about it. It won’t happen. It can’t.

“I always will be.” Omori moved to sit across from Sunny, resting his head on his knees. Sunny’s vision shifted briefly as the lightbulb flickered in tandem. Omori frowned. “You shouldn’t stay here any longer.”

“I know.”

“We went shopping. Got a bunch of clothes. Next few days we stayed at home. Played video games. Mario kart is very good.” Omori spoke pretty directly. Short burst-type sentences. Was it always that way? Sunny was always confused when Omori developed his own traits. Being in control for months apparently allowed Omori to develop on his own.

Sunny…hid. He made Omori be his shield. Sunny felt guilty but knew there was no point in that feeling. Omori made it clear he chose to do that. It’s his purpose…maybe. Sunny didn’t really bother thinking about it. After all, Omori was still him. 

“Oh. Basil has a new look now. Looks like dream Basil. It makes me feel comfortable.” Omori said nonchalantly. Sunny blinks rapidly. That’s unexpected. “We’re supposed to go out today with Kel for a jog. We’ve been going every other day, and that’ll change to every day once you’re in better shape.”

“Awful.” Sunny was not looking forward to it.

“It’s fine. Kel will carry you once you can’t handle it. He likes to run with a human backpack for some reason.” Omori poked at the ground. “After we get in shape Kel says he wants us to learn self-defense. Both of us. He specified that.” Omori’s gaze hardened. “We need to be able to defend ourselves.”

It made sense. The idea of it was strangely appealing, it would give him more power in the way things turn out. He wouldn’t be dragged mindlessly along by fate.

“It was always meant to be this way, Sunny. It’s–”

“Stop.” Omori clasped a hand on Sunny’s shoulder, face contorting. “Please don’t remember things like that here. You’ll give yourself a nightmare.”

It was only now Sunny noticed the way white space had dimmed. Dimmed…

“Does black space still exist?” Sunny hesitated to say, knowing the answer would be unkind.

Omori pursed his lips, eyes widening momentarily. There was a cold fear to it, so genuine in its solidity that Sunny wondered if he was just looking at himself in a mirror. Sunny held onto Omori too, gripping the black fabric of his tank top with a quivering hand.

“We…don’t have to go there…” Sunny tried to smile, the stiffness of his cheeks actively preventing any show of comfort. Omori shook his head minutely. Sunny continued. “All of those doors…can remain closed.”

“But they aren’t.” Omori bit out, nose scrunching up with a veritable aversion. “Those dreams and those flashbacks…those are what’s supposed to be hidden behind each door.” Omori shut his eyes tightly. “The doors are opening on their own. They will keep opening.”

Sunny frowned. His face didn’t prevent him from doing so. “But…” He glanced at the lightbulb. Little particles fell from between the cracks. “It’s…okay, right? No matter how bad…at least we have our friends…” The lightbulb was mocking in the way it swayed.

“You’re right.” Omori opened his eyes. He followed Sunny’s gaze, staring at the lone string dangling from an invisible point. “We do have our friends. They will protect you. We’ll all protect you, Sunny.” Omori pulled Sunny into an embrace. Sunny returned the hug.

And for a moment, he recalled.

“Sunny…you…” Omori said as Sunny stumbled toward him, newly arrived in headspace. Sunny’s face was a mess of ugly tears, loud sobs rattling in his chest.

“I can’t do it anymore…I tried…I tried the only thing I could…and I still failed!” Sunny reached out, horror outlining every tremor of his body. “I’m never going to leave…I can’t…I can’t do this anymore…”

“Sunny, it’s–”

“I tried to be strong! But I can’t! You were right…you were right!” Sunny wailed, completely unlike his usual self. Omori stared back, terrified. Stressed out. “I can still feel it…holding me down…” Sunny hugged himself tightly. “I just…wanted to be free…I didn’t want him to…I didn’t want to see–”

Omori stepped forward, and Sunny’s vision blurred. Sunny walked over with a lifted, desperate hand, collapsing into Omori’s figure. Omori held him steady, unable to prevent the tears falling down his own face.

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…I don’t want…”

Sunny succumbed.

“I’ll just…be what I’m supposed to be…”

And Omori could do nothing.

Do nothing but try and pick up the pieces of a once broken lightbulb, ready to construct it again to hold what couldn’t be faced.

“Sunny!” Omori pulled back, eyes wild. A loud CRACK echoed, and the space they were in grew darker. “Stop, stop!” Omori was frantic, shaking Sunny as hard as he could. Sunny’s mouth pulled into a wide grimace, unable to stop the sudden onslaught of distorted images in his head.

“No…no, I don’t–I don’t want to remember–I–I didn’t mean–” Sunny held his head, digging his nails into his scalp.

Omori grit his teeth, and began jostling Sunny as hard as he could. “Just get out of here! Wake up! I can deal with this! Get. OUT!”

“But–!”

“I said. Get–” Omori shoved Sunny back. “–OUT!”

Sunny fell through the floor.

…

It was foggy.

…

He heard a voice.

He heard crying.

He heard the clenching of teeth followed by a sharp gasp of pain and yet the mouth it came from was stretched into a smile that–

…

Sunny opened his eyes.

A…room.

On a bed. Kel’s bed.

Sunny sighed in relief. He really did wake up. 

After that relief came worry. He called for Omori in his mind, but there was no response. Sunny chewed on the inside of his cheek, deciding to check again later. Omori was just…busy. Fixing things, probably. Fixing what Sunny almost ruined…again…

Sunny got up, walking over to his closet. Disordered memories of the past few days flickered in his mind, but none too specific. It was just enough to have an idea of what happened, an array of emotions–most were positive.

He opened one of the drawers, finding a black shirt with strange swirling grey patterns. He liked it. Sunny smiled, pulling off his pajama shirt without hesitation and changing into the black shirt. It was pretty big, but that would just make him look bigger…maybe.

Sunny found some jean shorts with mismatched, colored pockets. He put those on too, tucking the shirt into them. The shirt had a lot of extra fabric that made him look less skinny, at least. He grabbed some socks, which were also asymmetrical. Chaotic. Sunny loved it. 

“…Omori?”

Sunny turned around, making eye contact with Kel. Sunny blinked, fidgeting. Kel held his gaze, head tilting just slightly.

“Sunny?”

Sunny nodded. Kel beamed, and without skipping a beat rushed forward. He stopped right before reaching Sunny, almost tripping over because of the sudden halt. He chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Oops, um, hopefully I didn’t startle you.” Kel more calmly pulled Sunny into a gentle hug, patting his back. “I’m glad you’re okay. I was starting to get worried.”

Sunny didn’t hesitate to hug back, gripping Kel with hands he didn’t notice were shaking.

And it was then he realized he was afraid.

Sunny buried his face into Kel’s hoodie, clenching the fabric. “I…” He wanted to stay unaware. There was something trying to crawl to the forefront, a horrifying reality he refused to face. It wasn’t something he could handle.

“Hey, it’s…it’s alright, Sunny.” Sunny could feel the way Kel’s chest rumbled as he spoke. It was oddly comforting. “It’s only been a few days. We have all the time in the world to do whatever we want, right? So no need to be upset.”

Sunny twitched, finding comfort in the words even if Kel had no idea what Sunny was really upset about. Kel was right, though. Sunny had been…saved. Saved was the correct word. It was absolutely the right word, because he had been trapped there. Even if he wanted to leave he couldn’t.

But…

Hadn’t…he agreed?

“Sunny?” Kel attempted to pull back, but Sunny just latched on, unwilling to let go.

No, it’s not his fault, right? Even if he said ‘yes’ all those years ago, it was because he was tricked. He didn’t think everything would go the way it did. Hero lied to him.

Yet, he wondered.

What if he had said no?

Would anything have changed?

Often he attributed everything to fate, just as Hero would. Things were the way they were because no matter what happened, everything would always go one way. No matter what he did, no matter what he said, Sunny would’ve ended up in that apartment.

…Right?

“If you want to talk about it I’m always here, okay?” Kel’s voice strangely wavered, almost uncertain. “I’ll be here whenever you need me.” Kel briefly tightened his hold, affirming his presence.

Sunny nodded, still not letting go. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't. He was stuck. He couldn’t relax. Whenever he felt uncertain or unsafe, he knew there was at least one place he could be at ease–that place was right next to Kel.

“You should probably eat, I imagine you’re hungry. You really slept in today! It’s almost eleven.” Kel said, a cheerful tone of voice. As if to respond, Sunny’s stomach growled. Kel chuckled and Sunny felt the vibrations of it. “I’ll take that as a yes to food.”

Food would be fantastic. But he really didn’t want to move.

It was silent for a few moments. Kel awkwardly coughed. “Do you…would you like me to carry you?”

Sunny nodded, pulling back just enough.

“Alright. We can eat and then go on that run. Is that okay?”

Sunny nodded again.

“Great!” Kel beamed. “I think we’ve got some eggs. I can maybe–”

“I’ll make breakfast,” Sunny said before he could even process the words. He blinked in surprise, not knowing why he said it. Kel similarly looked taken aback, but quickly recovered with a grin.

“Sick! I’m not a great cook anyways.” Living off of ramen and protein bars for three years does not help in the culinary skill department.

Kel picked Sunny up and the two made their way downstairs. Mom, dad, and Sally were all gone, having already gone out to the park to keep Sally from waking Sunny up.

Once in the kitchen, Sunny was set down. Kel made his way to a stool and sat, contently watching Sunny go around the kitchen, getting everything he needed.

“Whatcha’ makin'?” Kel drawled, raising a brow.

“Omelet.” Came the short reply.

“Nice. Haven’t had one of those in a long time. Are you going to put cheese on it?” Kel’s mouth was already watering.

A snort.

Kel’s eyes lit up hearing the sound.

While his hands were busy, Sunny’s thoughts wandered. He’d prefer if they didn’t and he could just remain focused on the task at hand. Cooking. Controlling his meal. Making food for Kel and himself.

As he gathered the ingredients and tools and started up the stove, he glanced to the side at an inconspicuous block. A holder. Knives.

...Hm.

Sunny gravitated towards it, discreetly looking back to see if Kel was paying attention. Thankfully he was not, staring off to the side with a blank gaze. Probably daydreaming. Sunny turned back to the knives and with an overwhelming relish, pulled the largest one out.

He gripped the handle and just stood. He took a shuddering breath, knuckles turning white. He was holding….a knife. Nobody could take it from him. He could be as unsafe as he wanted. He could cut himself and nobody would stop him.

Briefly, he turned the knife over his arm. His eyes clouded over for a moment, lowering the blade–

Sunny set the knife down on the counter, going back to cooking. He’d rather not worry Kel. Plus, hurting himself would do nothing. It’s not like he could taunt Hero with it considering he wasn’t around.

Plus, he’d rather not a repeat of–

Sunny’s eyes popped open. Instinctively he attempted to follow the thought, but it left the moment it came. Whatever he had been about to remember was pulled straight back into the depths of his subconscious.

Sunny adjusted, moving on to a new topic in his head. He thought about random things, such as what to do during the summer. He decided to think about the positives more, wanting to have fun with his friends. Omori went to the mall with everyone and that sounded really fun. He wanted to go too. Maybe they could go to a gas station and get a bunch of unhealthy snacks? Sunny hadn’t had those in a long time.

Maybe they could…all have a picnic?

Sunny whisked the eggs with a fork, wanting the omelets to be fluffy.

A picnic with his friends, outside and peaceful. The sun on them all, grass and little flowers around. A gentle breeze lifting his hair, running across his skin. Filling him with life. Open and free.

By the hangout spot? By that dock?

No…no, there were…too many unsavory reminders there.

Then where else? Where else could they–

Mari.

Mari.

A picnic with Mari.

Sunny’s eyes glistened as he spread the butter on the pan.

Mari…he missed her. Was she lonely? Had everyone been visiting her while he was gone? They had to have been, right? Pulling the weeds, cleaning the grave, sitting beside it while it rained, making sure she wasn’t alone for too long…

Sunny poured the eggs onto the pan.

He should go see her. It’d been far too long. Hopefully, she wouldn’t blame him for not visiting. Sunny found himself smiling a little at the thought, imagining her up in heaven, checking in on him–

Ah. Checking in…maybe it’s better she didn’t.

At least not outside of the graveyard.

“Smells great!” Kel called out encouragingly.

Sunny hummed in response.

A little while later they sat together, quickly scarfing down their respective portions. Kel had been ecstatic when Sunny made one for him too, despite already eating breakfast. Kel would never turn down some good food.

“Okay, so when we run we go around the whole block. We also run past the square and park. We could stop by Hobbeez or something if you want? Could be fun.” Kel finished eating and started briefing.

“Fix–it.” Sunny took his last bite, responding plainly. Kel tilted his head.

“Why?”

“Flowers.”

“Why flow–” Kel abruptly closed his mouth, almost biting his tongue. Flowers. Flowers from Fix–it. “Sounds good. Mom and dad gave you a pretty good allowance, so you can definitely afford what you want.” A guilt allowance, as if showering Sunny in money would fix any of the mistakes his parents already made.

Kel put the dishes in the sink, not bothering to wash them. He didn’t feel like it. As Kel turned to go back out and meet Sunny at the door, something caught his eye.

…Huh?

Why was a knife out of the holder?

Kel walked toward it, trying to see if it just fell out. It was a good enough distance away to indicate someone had been holding it. Was it his mom? No, she was really good about keeping that stuff where it’s supposed to be, not wanting Sally to accidentally hurt herself.

So why was it…?

Kel lowered his head.

“Oh…”

****

“You got this Sunny! Just a little bit further and we’ll be at Fix–it! You’ll be my backpack on the way back!”

Sunny was melting. He was literally melting.

“You’re doing awesome!”

He was dying. He was absolutely going to die.

“Alright…and….boom!” Kel caught Sunny as he fell, a wide smile on his face. “See? You jogged all the way to Fix–it! That’s awesome! You’ll be back in shape in no time!” He ruffled Sunny’s hair, laughing when it was swatted away.

Sunny doubled over, desperately sucking in air. Did air always feel this nice in his lungs? His legs felt dead. What a nightmare.

“Here’s some water.”  Kel handed Sunny a water bottle and watched Sunny almost choke chugging the whole thing. Kel snorted, tossing the plastic away after Sunny threw it at him.

It took a few minutes for Sunny to gather himself. Once he did, he was back to his usual stoicism. Kel looked no different from where they started. Sunny didn’t even think he was sweating. Kel was a monster. An exercising demon.

“It’ll be cooler inside. Come on!” Kel opened the door and Sunny went in, letting out an audible sigh of relief. He looked around the store, seeing it was much the same as it was all those years ago.

They didn’t spend a lot of time looking around, going directly for the flowers, and then going to the cashier. The cashier who looked a bit…pale.

“Hey Sunny, good to see you, man!” The guy smiled, nonchalant. Kel relaxed, figuring he imagined the hesitance. Sunny nodded in response, placing the flowers gently on the counter. The cashier rang them up, glancing at Sunny occasionally. Kel went back on alert.

“Business going well?” Kel decided to relax through conversation. He had no reason to be tense. He was probably glancing back at Sunny because of the purple eye, no other reason. It really did draw attention.

“Eh, more or less. Nothing’s really changed since the store first opened.” He told the total and Sunny paid. The guy smiled, handing the flowers back. “Here you go. Thank you for your purchase.” It was said lazily, obviously more policy than genuine appreciation.

“Have a good day!” Kel said, already bringing Sunny out.

“You too, Hero!”

…

Frozen.

Kel turned his head, staring at the cashier. Said man looked back, horrified. “Oh, I–I didn’t mean to…it was the slip of the tongue, I…” Flustered. The guy had no idea how to rectify the situation. The ominous silence was more than he could bear.

Kel’s mind was white. “It’s alright. It happens sometimes.” Kel smiled. “Thanks for the flowers.” He grabbed Sunny’s free hand, pulling him out of the store.

Once the two left the cashier slumped into himself, putting his head in his hands. “God…” He hadn’t meant it. He hadn’t meant it at all. Now he wouldn’t be able to get Kel’s look out of his head, nor the way Sunny flinched and curled into himself.

The man remembered finding out about Hero’s…death soon after it happened. The day he returned that violin was the day Hero and Sunny both died. But they didn’t. They didn’t die. Instead–

The cashier banged his hand on the counter.

“I called him that name…”

He called Kel his brother’s name.

That monster’s name.

…

“Kel.” Sunny found himself saying, the grip on his hand tightening. He frowned, trying to get close enough to see Kel’s face.

“Hey…let’s…start the backpack thing right now,” Kel said evenly, already crouching down. Sunny complied, getting on Kel’s back without complaint. Soon after he was situated Kel began to run. It felt faster than the pace he should be going.

Sunny didn’t say anything, arms loosely around Kel’s neck. He buried his head into Kel’s shoulder, unsure of what to do. He himself had been startled by the name being said so casually, especially spoken in their direction. But he felt more uneasy because of Kel. He couldn’t imagine how Kel felt being called that name.

The unnaturally high speed slowed, Kel breathing heavily as they approached the street where the church was located. Sunny kept his lips pursed, not wanting to say anything to upset Kel more.

“Hey…Sunny…” Kel said, monotone.

Sunny nodded against Kel’s shoulder, indicating he was listening.

“You…do you ever…” Kel took a shaky breath, muscles tensing under Sunny’s hands. “Do you ever think of…him…when you see me?” His voice was delicate, fragile in its insecurity. The deep confidence and self-assurance usually there had faded out. If listened to closely, one could even assume he was afraid.

“No.” Sunny tightened his arms around Kel. “Never.” He emphasized.

It was the opposite. When Sunny saw Kel he felt indescribable comfort, a kind he never expected to feel. Sunny knew that with Kel came safety and happiness, entirely unlike the warped version Hero always proclaimed to provide.

Kel was nothing like Hero, and that was a good thing, no matter how people said otherwise in the past.

“Good…I–I’m glad. I’m so glad.” Kel’s voice cracked, head lowering. “Thank you. I feel a lot better now.”

Sunny’s brows furrowed.

Even though Kel said as much…

Why didn’t it sound believable?

****

The grave was clean.

“Looks like Basil and Aubrey stopped by,” Kel said softly, placing Sunny down. Sunny held the bouquet in his hand, gently walking toward Mari’s grave. He elected to ignore the one nearby, one he couldn’t handle seeing, especially after everything.

Sunny placed the flowers down and took a few steps back. He stared at the grave, biting his lip.

He wondered a lot. Being inside with nothing much to do for five years does that to a person. Contemplation was usually an act he tried to ignore, knowing it led him into spiraling trails of self-deprecation and blame.

But at that moment, with Kel standing not far behind him…

He was at ease.

“Mari…” Sunny whispered, “I…miss you.”

And he always would.

He couldn't speak much more, his throat closing up while moisture gathered in his eyes. But he knew that Mari would know. Know how much he wished he had been around. Know how much he regretted not coming more that summer.

The four years right after her death.

The five years after that.

Nine years with no agency, with no sense of self.

Nine years of sleeping.

Nine years of dreaming.

Nine years…down the drain.

Sunny could almost laugh. What a ridiculous circumstance. What a tragic life.

Subconsciously, Sunny’s hand trailed to his stomach. He wasn’t sure why. He held it, phantom pains mixing with guilt. Guilt he couldn’t find a reason for.

If only Mari was around…

If only he…

Sunny sighed, closing his eyes.

He’d long served his comeuppance.

He’d served it nine times over.

“Sunny…”

A hand on his shoulder.

“You okay?”

To respond to that with any semblance of positivity was impossible. How could he reply in a happy tone? How could he even force the workings of his body to proceed in any movement of confirmation?

It would be a long time before he could answer that question.

“We…”

Sunny stared forward at the etchings in Mari’s gravestone.

No matter what, they have to keep moving.

All of them.

To rest in the past was to succumb to it.

And even though Sunny knows deep down this moment of peace wouldn’t last, that a terrible premonition was rising in his chest, blaring out warnings in his mind that what he pushed away would swing right back to him–

“We go forward.” Sunny stated, solemn as he turned to Kel. 

“Right…” Kel squeezed Sunny’s shoulder. “We go forward.”

Hand in hand, directly against the current of the oncoming storm.

…

Somewhere else…

Somewhere else, the thunder had been rumbling for days.

****

Hero stood outside of Keith’s apartment, eyes slightly narrowed.

There was something strange in the air.

…No matter.

Hero knocked on the door three times fast then paused before knocking again. After some footsteps, he heard locks clicking, and the door opened to reveal a tired yet happy Keith.

“Did you get the fuel?”

“Yeah.” Hero gave a short nod. Keith welcomed Hero in, messing with his gloves.

6:00.

“Great. I can get that motorcycle up and working for you now!” Keith had soot on him from working on the bike, which Hero didn’t enjoy. But for what Keith was doing for him he’d put up with the dirtiness.

Hero momentarily reminisced of his friendship with Keith, a blanket moment of pure nostalgia. It was sudden and almost made him dizzy with its warmth. Hero smiled to himself. He was glad to have Keith around.

“By the way, I ordered some pizza a while ago. It should be here soon. Could you get the door while I finish up?” Keith called out, voice light.

“Sure.” Hero nodded, sitting down on the couch.

…

6:30.

Hero held the pizza in his hands, placing it on the table. “Food’s here!” Hero shouted, and the sound of a clattering tool echoed. Keith entered the room shortly after, heading directly for the pizza. “Hey, wash your hands first.”

“I was wearing gloves.” Keith snorted, taking them off and putting them aside.

“Still have to wash them. You know I always do it before we eat.” Hero used his head to gesture to the sink as he took off his own gloves. Keith sighed, obliging with a grumble.

The two quickly split the pizza, heading to the couch. They sat, Keith shoving down a whole piece of pizza faster than probably healthy.

It was a comfortable silence. After what felt like a long time, Keith slowed in his eating, turning to Hero with a smile. A sort of smile. “What is it?” Hero furrowed his brows.

“Well, I just…before you go tomorrow…” Keith glanced away, hands flexing briefly. “I remembered something. I thought I should tell you now that you’re better rested…” Keith rubbed the back of his head, chuckling awkwardly. Hero tilted his head.

“Yeah?” Hero prompted, taking another bite.

“So…I never told you because I didn’t want to needlessly worry you. I know how you can get sometimes…especially recently…” Keith looked down at his hands, no longer eating. “But…someone came by my house. Not this apartment. My old house. He came when I was visiting my pops.”

“Oh.” Hero stopped eating too. He felt cold. “Did someone find you…?”

“Sort of?” Keith grimaced. “He…was a bit weird. He had a missing poster. Of…Max.” Keith chewed on his lip. “Well, it–it said Sunny, actually. It, well, the guy also called Max Sunny too, and…” Keith glanced at Hero, eyes shining with confusion. He was waiting for an explanation.

Hero forgot he lied about Sunny’s name. He was more cautious at the time, not completely trusting Keith.

“Oh, that. It’s kind of a long story.” Hero sighed. “I’m sorry if it seems like I’ve been lying to you, but trust me, I can explain.”

“Of course, Hero. I wasn’t doubting you. I figure there’s a reason.” Keith said earnestly. Hero almost smiled.

“So, Sunny has this…thing. When he gets stressed enough, he’ll change into someone else.”

“What?” Keith furrowed his brows.

“Yeah, it’s strange, but…it helps him cope with everything, I think. And it doesn’t cause any harm. He changes into someone named Max.” Hero decided it wasn’t a full lie.

“That’s…kind of crazy. But I think I’ve heard of it before? Maybe?” Keith shrugged. “Well, I believe you. Max did seem out of it most of the time, at least from what I saw when you guys stayed with us.” Keith tapped his fingers on his thigh. “So Sunny is…his real name?”

“Yes.” Hero, at that moment, remembered how much he hated hearing someone else saying Sunny’s name. He wished Keith wouldn’t say it.

“Good to know. I’ll start calling him Sunny, then?”

“If you want.” Hero wanted to say no. Keith didn’t notice the tension.

6:50.

“Cool. Um…anyways, continuing on…” Keith shifted in his seat. “Well, the guy had like…long brown hair up in some kind of bun, and this hoodie. It was orange with grey sleeves. He said his name was Kel, and then he dropped a bomb.”

“Kel…?” Hero paused.

Kel.

Long brown hair…

Up in a bun…

“Yeah, he claimed he was you and Sunny’s brother. I acted stupid so he would back off and then quickly left the house after that. But he said some really weird stuff. It’s…kind of been on my mind. I trust you more, of course, but I’d still like to know.”

“Kel…he…” Hero clenched his jaw, gripping his knees. “He was…”

“You okay?”

“Kel…took him?”

“What?”

“Kel…took Sunny.”

“Hero, are you okay? Do you know him?”

“He used to be my brother. He…was my parent's favorite.” Instant on-the-spot lies. “They didn’t do anything to him. I…I just thought he would be on our side. I…”

“Hero?” Keith placed a comforting hand on Hero’s shoulder. Hero shuddered. He couldn’t think. This was too much.

Why did Kel have to do that? Why did Kel have to do that!?

Hero stood to his feet, immediately pacing. “No…no, this isn’t happening. This can’t be happening!” Hero shook his head. “I refuse to believe it’s Kel!” A part of him still cared for Kel, still wanted to have those old memories in his mind. But they were becoming tainted with betrayal. With disbelief.

“I…I did nothing wrong…why is Kel…how did he…” Hero knew Kel wasn’t stupid like a lot of people thought he was, but he wasn’t the smartest either. He ran on emotional impulse and would hardly think things through. How could Kel track him down?

“Hero, it’s okay. We can–we can talk about this.” Keith stood up slowly, reaching out a hesitant hand.

“What am I supposed to do!?” Hero whipped around to face Keith, stalking forward and grabbing his shoulders. “Keith, I can’t kill my own brother!”

“What? Kill? Hero, what are you talking about?” Keith’s brows furrowed, a slight tremor to his voice.

“I have to get Sunny back! But Kel’s going to be surrounded by people, isn’t he!? He–he could probably convince Sunny to stay! Sunny’s always trusted him but–but he’s just too young to understand that it’s wrong! He’s just a kid!”

“I–” Keith’s gaze flashed. The warmth in his gaze diminished. “T–The poster said he was fifteen at the time of going missing–”

“And!? How is that helpful!?”

“Isn’t he twenty now–?”

Hero almost growled, shoving Keith away. His mind was spinning, trying to piece together what to do. There were too many overwhelming emotions, he couldn’t suppress them all. He couldn’t filter them out.

“Hero I…just calm down, okay? Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Sunny was safe with me! Kel’s going to get him killed! Sunny needs to be inside, with me, where it’s safe! Where I can protect him!”

“I–what–I think I get it–wait–” Keith stepped away while stammering. His shoulders tensed up, watching Hero spiral.

“You understand, right!?” Hero lurched forward, grabbing Keith’s arm. His smile was desperate. “I–I have to get Sunny back! I promised I would protect him! Kel–I–he doesn’t…he doesn’t…” Hero covered his mouth. “He…doesn’t matter. I just…if I hurt him, it’s only because it’s...it’s for Sunny. Right. Kel cast me away…Kel hates me. Kel wants me dead. Kel doesn’t…see me as a brother…”

Keith tugged on his arm, a bead of sweat trailing down his forehead. He swallowed, eyes darting around Hero’s face, almost studying.

“Hero, you’re being weird…this isn’t like you. What’s happening?”

“They all think I’m wrong, but you don’t, right!?”

7:00.

“Hero, seriously, I just–I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Keith’s voice cracked, eyes widening. Hero heard hesitation and heard the doubt. His eyes narrowed into a harsh glare, full of blame.

“You’re supposed to be on my side!” Hero gripped Keith’s arm more tightly. Bruising. “We’re friends, right!?” Hero’s voice suddenly lowered into a cold, even monotone. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Keith visibly recoiled.

“Hero…” The warmth was fading. “Hero, what…” Keith’s brows furrowed. “You’ve been telling me the truth, right?”

“What?” Hero snapped. “Now you’re doubting me!?”

“I–I deserve to know, Hero! I’ve been helping you this whole time, haven’t I!? You don’t get to talk to me like that!” Once again, Keith tried to lower his guard, trying to be understanding. “Come on, please just…tell me what you’re hiding. You know I’ll be on your side. We’re friends. We’ve been friends for a really fucking long time, through thick and thin. Why can’t you just trust me?”

Hero stiffened. Trust…

“Look, if I promise not to lose my shit, will you just explain more clearly? You’re really cryptic right now and I don’t want to misunderstand.”

Hero tensed all of his muscles completely, then relaxed. Keith was a good friend. Keith helped him all this time. Hero helped Keith before too. It was mutual. They wouldn’t turn on each other. Keith…would understand him. “Okay.” Hero relented, letting go of Keith.

“Thank you. I know it’s probably really shitty to have to relive whatever you’ve got to relive to explain, but I appreciate it, man.” Keith pat Hero’s shoulder somewhat awkwardly then waited patiently for the explanation.

And an explanation he got.

Hero’s point of view. Mari. The promise. Everything that had happened. The decisions he made. The happiness he and Sunny had. The joy that had been ripped right from his grasp. Every high and low, all from his lens and through his words. All on his side. All fate.

When his words stopped, when the droning recollection finally ended, Hero focused in on Keith. But instead of what he expected, he saw something ugly.

“You…” Keith opened and closed his mouth rapidly, eyes fluttering. He put a hand to his forehead, backing away with drawn-together brows. His whole face twisted, eyes wide and glistening. “You’re…joking.”

“Keith?” Hero himself was vulnerable, having practically bared his soul. He told Keith everything, he had to recount the horrors of what he experienced and the excruciating pain he lived through. He exposed his thoughts, and yet Keith wasn’t comforting him. It made him tremble. It made him afraid.

And when he’s afraid…when he’s stressed…

The manifestation of his fears, the flowers–the egret orchids–

“Hero, I…I can’t believe I helped you…” Keith covered his mouth, hunching over. With wide eyes he retched, completely unable to handle the assault of horrifying guilt. “What…what have…I done…? Why didn’t I notice…?”

“W–Why are you talking like that? Why are you acting like that? You know I’m in the right. I did what was best. I saved Sunny.” Hero affirmed it once again, the truth of that sentiment forever ingrained into the world. Hero was righteous. It was just.

The flowers were getting in his eyes.

“You–” And in a brief second, one tense and filled with terror, the whole intonation of Keith’s voice changed from fear to rage. “You fucking ruined all their lives!”

Hero’s eyes hollowed. He felt his chest sink into itself, a crushing sensation. “N–No…you…” Keith was supposed to agree with him. Keith was his friend–he was supposed to understand him. This wasn’t right. This couldn’t be right.

“Sunny…oh god Sunny…” Keith tugged on his hair, eyes darting around. “I would've–I could’ve saved him–this whole time I should’ve–” Keith’s wide eyes trailed to Hero, filled with disgust and a swirling loathing. Along with it was sadness. Misery. Guilt. There was a rapid succession of thoughts in his mind, visible in the way his lips twitched.

“You…” Hero let himself be open. He let himself care about Keith and this is what happened. “You aren’t supposed to react this way! I just told you about everything I went through, and you throw it right back in my damn face! How could you!? You promised you would be there for me!”

“Jesus christ Hero! I’m not listening to this bullshit! I–I’m calling the cops!” Keith turned away from Hero. It felt like a punch to the gut.

“What, just so they can arrest you too!? You’re off the grid just like me! What the hell do you think is going to happen!?” Hero flung open his arms. He felt tears well up in his eyes and hated the fact that he was so upset. He felt betrayed. He let himself be vulnerable only to be trampled on. He’d made a mistake. He opened his heart like a fool. He should’ve known no one else would care for him. This just proved it to him–proved the reason he needed to protect Sunny–protect his only solace in this world.

“I don’t care! I’d rather bring a fucker like you down with me! I can’t believe I’ve been helping you! I can’t believe I trusted you!” Keith’s eyes glistened in the light.

7:18.

Hero lunged when Keith pulled out his phone. Keith rushed to the side, knocking into one of his shelves. He quickly grabbed the gun set aside, scrambling to lift it up and point. Hero tackles him to the ground, knocking the phone out of Keith’s hand and tugging on the gun. Keith swings his arm across, nailing Hero in the face.

Hero grunts, refusing to let go. The two fumble as the cabinet falls over. Glass shatters against the floor. The gun clicks. Keith knees Hero in the gut. Hero scowls, heart beating in his ears.

“Let go!” Hero yelled.

“Fuck off! You fucking creep! You bastard! You pathetic kidnapper!” Keith hurled out insults, snarling at Hero.

“I thought we were friends!” Hero managed, eyes narrowing to avoid more tears forming

“Well, so did I! But you lied to me! Over and over with no remorse! You tricked me!”

Back and forth.

“You’re supposed to understand me!”

“This isn’t something to understand! What the hell is wrong with you!?”

Back and forth and back and forth.

“Nothing’s wrong with me! I’m doing what’s right! I’m doing what needs to be done!”

“You–I can’t listen to this! This has to be some sick fucking joke! You psychopath!”

Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.

“DON’T CALL ME THAT!”

“YOU FUCKING–”

Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and–

“W–”

BANG

“H–”

BANG

“…Huh…?”

Clink

“No…no, no…no I’m…Keith, I…”

Clink

“Keith–I didn’t–no no no, please god no–”

Silence.

“It…I didn’t…it was…”

A hand to the neck.

“It was…”

Lifeless.

“…An accident.”

Red.

“Why did it have to end this way?”

Hero opened his eyes.

“Did you get the fuel?”

Hero blinked rapidly, vision clearing. His whole body trembled, unable to stop himself from stumbling into the room, falling into Keith.

“Whoa! Are you okay?”

“Thank god…you’re okay…you’re okay…” Hero repeated as if to convince himself of it being the truth.

“Oh god, um…let’s go sit down.”

Keith helped him inside and closed the door.

Hero pulled away from Keith, checking him over. He let out a huge sigh of relief, laughing at the feeling washing over him. Keith worriedly cocked his head to the side, guiding Hero’s shaking body onto the couch. Keith plopped down next to him.

In his peripheral, Hero could see a moving shadow. A horrific vision waiting to happen.

“If you want to talk about what that was, you can, but you don’t have to. Um…I ordered some pizza a while ago. It should be here soon. Maybe that’ll help?” Keith hesitantly rubbed Hero’s back, trying to ease the tremors

“I–I…think that’ll…be good.” Hero nodded, sitting down on the couch. 

…

6:30.

Keith split the pizza for the two of them, handing a plate to Hero who was still on the couch. He was coming down from his panic, still occasionally seeing a streak of darkness flicker past his line of sight.

The two sat, Keith shoving down a whole piece of pizza faster than probably healthy.

It was a comfortable silence. It didn’t last long, though. Keith suddenly slowed in his eating, turning to Hero with a smile. A sort of smile. “What is it?” Hero furrowed his brows.

“Well, I just…before you go tomorrow…” Keith glanced away, hands flexing briefly. “I remembered something. I thought I should tell you since it’s not too big of a deal. It’s more just…weird.”

Hero hummed, taking another bite.

“Someone came by my house. Not this apartment. My old house. He came when I was visiting my pops, asking about Max.”

“Oh.” Hero stopped eating too.

“Yeah, it’s weird.” Keith grimaced. “I just wanted to know if you knew him in case I should be on the lookout.” Keith shifted in his seat. “He had like…short hair that was dirty blond, and this hoodie. It was black. He said his name was Oliver, and then he left.”

“Oh. I don’t know who that is.”

“Maybe someone your shitty parents hired?” Keith shrugged. “Anyways, that was all. We don’t have to talk about it anymore.” Keith went back to eating, focusing on the T.V. On the movie. Hero joined in, listening to the echoing music.

…

Hero’s whole body burned.

…

Everywhere itched.

…

But his hands…his hands itched the most.

…

So he scratched.

…

And he scratched for days, scratched as a broken requiem played.

Chapter Text

Sunny opened his eyes.

He didn’t sleep through the night. The darkness of the room, the quietly chirping crickets, and the soft breathing of Kel next to him all made that quite clear.

Sunny blearily turned his head, staring at Kel’s resting face. Instinctually Sunny reached out, grasping onto Kel’s pajama shirt. Right…he was here. It was safe.

…Hm.

Sunny felt the weight over him. It had become a familiar comfort–the way Kel’s arm haphazardly rested over him, heavy yet reassuring.

Reassuring for both of you.

Omori.

Yes.

Sunny felt relieved. He needed Omori. Without him, there was a strange anxiety he couldn’t pinpoint. Omori gave him insight and was a reliable presence that couldn’t disappear. It gave Sunny a sense of security. It made him feel stronger.

You are strong.

Sunny scooted closer to Kel, fully basking in the warmth of his friend.

He didn’t think strong was a good descriptor. A coward was more accurate.

Sunny…

There was no point in denying reality. He was weak. He was still weak. No matter how much he ran, no matter how many self-defense lessons he took, he would always be weak. Because it wasn’t just his fickle body.

It was his mind.

He was in shambles.

Self-awareness in itself is strength. Facing reality is not something many people can bring themselves to do.

Obviously. Sunny got a pretty good glimpse of someone outright rejecting and changing reality. Saw it up close and personal.

Got roped into it.

You should go back to sleep.

No…Sunny had a feeling there was a reason he woke up. A built-in warning system, maybe. He could briefly remember a flashing light behind his eyes, a dream directly interrupted and prevented.

A black, ominous door unceremoniously closed.

Being tired will make you stressed.

And having a nightmare would do much of the same. The only difference is that a nightmare would have him waking up Kel and distressing him too. Better to be alone in the suffering. He’d shared enough of it already.

Kel wants to help you. Kel wants to share the burden.

Sunny was very aware of that. But he could clearly recognize how much Kel was affected by even the briefest glimpse into the past. Anger…anger was a strange look on Kel. His seemingly unending drive to continue and his strength were the same, at least.

Sunny was lucky Kel was the way he was. There was no way Sunny would have left that place otherwise. Sunny practically owed his life to Kel, especially with how he was continuing to bother the other with his incessant demands for attention.

Sunny…

He was clingy. He hated being too far away from Kel. The moment Kel was out of his sight, Sunny got shaky. His brain fogged up. He felt like the walls grew eyes, each textured bit of paint turning into intently staring irises, watching and waiting.

Waiting for him to be alone and vulnerable.

Sunny couldn’t do anything on his own. It’d been proved to him multiple times–and in that came the horror of helplessness. Sunny could easily be taken again. Sunny could go back to that place. He could lose the agency he has so desperately been grasping onto.

You won’t be taken.

His chest hurt.

Sunny suddenly felt like he needed to get up. He didn’t want to, but he was restless. He needed to pace or something. Anything to get the rising energy out of him. Maybe if he moved around enough and exhausted himself he’d pass out.

With a deep breath, Sunny sat up.

…And was promptly pulled back down.

Uh.

Sunny blinked. He turned to the culprit.

Kel’s brows were slightly furrowed. Sunny then heard a bizarre, discomforting sound. He leaned in closer to Kel, soon gathering that it was the sound of grinding teeth. Did Kel grind his teeth?

It’s not too uncommon.

Kel definitely didn’t do it before. With a frown, Sunny lifted his hands, using his fingers to smooth out Kel’s tense features. It strangely worked, Kel’s expression returning to a neutral state. The grinding stopped.

It might be from stress.

It was definitely from stress–stress that was Sunny’s fault.

Enough with that. His stress is because of Hero.

Maybe part of it, but Sunny’s instability probably weighed on his mind more heavily. Kel, even in his sleep, was watching out for him and taking care of him. It wasn’t fair. It was unbalanced. Sunny was doing nothing for Kel.

He’s your friend.

All the more reason for Sunny to be doing something for Kel too. But there was nothing Sunny could offer besides his presence, which…was the cause of Kel’s stress. What ugly irony.

Kel has never asked for anything in return.

And he never will, because Kel’s kind even after all these years of searching for him.

Even though it’s Sunny’s own fault he got taken.

What? When did you decide that?

It’s not a decision. It’s just the natural truth.

Sunny had been thinking about it recently and came to the realization that it was, in fact, his own fault for agreeing. He should’ve known better. He had to have known that they couldn’t just temporarily run away with no consequence. He wasn’t that stupid, right? So he knew what would happen and still did it. It’s his own fault. He made the choice and grew to regret it.

“You agreed to it, right? That’s why you said yes that day. You knew this would happen. I gave you the chance to leave, but you refused. So you have no reason to be upset about it now.”

Sunny bit his tongue, eyes wide.

What he said isn’t true.

But it wasn’t false either.

Sunny–

Annoying. Annoying.

Y–u nee– –o c–l– d–wn!

Incessant buzzing.

S–n––!

Incoherent whisperings in his head–awful. Why couldn’t it just shut up? Why couldn’t it stop making noise!?

…

Ah.

Much better.

…

Eyes.

…

He felt eyes on him.

Kel was asleep. Sally currently didn’t sleep in the room. Who was looking at him? Something was looking at him.

Ah…ah…that’s…no good.

Sunny sat up again, this time not pulled back down. He got out of bed, stumbling onto the floor with a vacant gaze.

Get out of here…he had to get out of here. Something was in the room. Something was looking at him. Something was trying to talk to him.

Sunny couldn’t breathe. He felt the tremors of his body and couldn’t get farther than a step, a deep terror making his stomach drop.

No, he can’t leave alone. It was dangerous. It was too dangerous. Something might take him again. No...no no no no no no no no–

Sunny clamored back toward the bed, grasping Kel’s arm and tugging on it. He opened his mouth to call to him, to get him to wake up. Kel could protect him from what’s trying to get him! That’s what Kel always did! Kel would save him!

Sunny couldn’t produce a sound. His eyes watered, shaking Kel as hard as he could. He had to wake up. The longer Sunny was alone, the closer something got. Sunny felt the eyes–the tendrils–it was reaching him–it was going to grab him–

“Huh…Sunny?” Kel mumbled, turning his head.

“H–Here…here–” Sunny desperately murmured, eyes wild while he tried to get closer to Kel.

Kel immediately became wide awake, getting up and throwing the blanket off. He grabbed Sunny with his right hand, pulling him into a partial embrace as his left hand reached toward the bedside drawer, opening it and revealing a box inside.

It was a practiced motion–the way he undid the lock and opened the box, grasping the weapon inside. Without hesitation Kel lifted it, scanning the room while breathing heavily. Sunny hugged Kel, hearing his friend's rapid heartbeat.

“Where?” Kel whispered, holding Sunny more tightly. Sunny trembled, looking around.

“A–” Something took his voice. He couldn’t talk. His throat closed up. They needed to get out. It was surrounding them. Kel can’t beat it. He can’t defeat it.

Sunny tried to get out of Kel’s grasp to direct him outside but found that he couldn’t. He pat Kel’s arm, but still nothing.

“It’s okay, Sunny. I won’t let him take you. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Kel hunched slightly, turning his body to shield Sunny. “He won’t get you. I won’t let that happen.” Kel was confident yet breathless. His voice sounded deeper than usual, every single part of him tense. “Write on my arm where he is.”

Where? Where…but it was everywhere. It was–

“I did this for you. I did everything for you.”

Oh…

Sunny’s fingers twitched as he tried to write on Kel’s arm, vision blurring as something began talking to him.

‘E…v…’

“You understand me, right? Right? You have to! We’re brothers!”

Continue–continue, do what Kel said. Ignore everything else.

‘…e…r…’

“We’re going to be family forever, Sunny. I will never let you get hurt, so don’t worry about a thing. I’ll take care of everything.”

Closer. It’s getting closer. He was shaking. What he was writing on shook too. He could barely move. He was freezing up. Loud. It was getting louder.

‘…y…w…’

“Like this…I want this happiness to last forever. It feels like everything will go well as long as you are right here, safe and protected. Don’t you feel the same?”

It’s close. It’s so close to him. He can feel it breathing. It’s in pain. It’s in pain, and it’s trying to get him. It’s crying–

‘…h…e…’

“You’re all I have left, sunshine. I can’t lose you. I won’t let you disappear, even if…even if that means I have to lock you in this room forever.”

It’s his own fault. Sunny caused all of the pain. Sunny made it see him like that. Sunny heightened the stress–Sunny made it worse–

‘…r…e…’

“Everywhere?” Kel’s arm lowered, the weapon clicking once again. “Sunny…what do you mean…?”

Sunny trembled, and tears finally fell. He held his head, body giving out. It hurt. His head hurt so badly. There was too much noise. There was so much happening and it made him dizzy and confused and unable to understand what was happening and everything was spinning and he didn’t feel like he was there and he was drifting and he just wanted it to stop!

Kel held Sunny up, bringing them both back to the bed. Kel remained sitting, still on alert even if he realized there may not be a physical threat.

Sunny curled into Kel, burying his face in the crook of Kel’s neck and wrapping his arms as tightly as he could around him. He held on desperately, as if he would be pulled away. Kel’s eyes shook. He raised his free hand, beginning to gently rub Sunny’s back.

Sunny listened to Kel.

Breathing.

Kel…Kel should breathe louder.

Kel should talk. It would help drown out everything else. Sunny liked Kel’s voice. There was a tangible quality to it that made it unlike the baseless noise.

“…Talk.” Sunny managed to say, quiet as it was.

“What?” Kel’s voice was just as uncertain, and the arm holding the weapon lowered further. “Talk…you want me to talk?”

Sunny nodded.

“Okay, um…” Kel took a shuddering breath. “Well, it’s…late. Tomorrow we were supposed to get up a little earlier to hang out with Basil and Aubrey. To…go on the picnic. We’re going to bring Sally too. You planned it.” Kel pulled Sunny closer, resting his head on top of Sunny’s. Sunny sniffled, the fabric of Kel’s shirt bunching up in his grip.

“It’s okay…it’s okay…everything will be okay…”

Sunny couldn’t stop the tremors. He did everything in his power to focus on Kel’s voice and ignore everything else. The eyes watching him…they didn’t matter. Kel would get rid of them for him.

“We’re going to have a picnic with Mari. We’re all going to meet at the graveyard. We’ve got the blanket and basket covered, we just need to make some sandwiches. Gino’s doesn’t...sell sandwiches anymore. But it’s a good thing. Homemade is better anyways.”

“You don’t have to care about other people…”

Every word was delivered with truth, with full confidence in its righteousness. There was no sense of wrong, no altered perception of morality. Deeply and truly, it believed it was right. In its own eyes, it wasn’t gray–it was white.

“And…we’re starting up the self-defense lessons. I think it’s a martial art called Krav Maga? Never heard of it, but Aubrey recommended it. Basil wants to learn too. Apparently, he’s built up strength all these years by gardening and helping out at a flower shop. He wants to learn how to apply that strength.”

“Sunny, no! You can’t! I promised to protect you!”

Was it wrong? Was it a lie? No…it was always honest. Sunny had been safe. But that safety felt unnerving. It was secure and yet left him with a growing untethering–from the world and his mind. Nothing ever happened through his own hands or control. Nothing was his own. He was not his own. 

“Anyways, I’m going to take the lessons too. Some of Aubrey’s friends do it…Angel and Mikhael. Do you remember them? They don’t really call themselves the hooligans anymore. Actually, they stopped going by that after high school. Kind of sad to see the group name go. It’s funny.”

“I won’t let you leave me.”

Oh.

Sunny felt bile rise in his throat.

“What do you want for breakfast by the way? Do you want cereal or do you want to make something aga–”

“I…” Sunny’s voice cracked. Kel immediately went silent–scarily silent. Attentive. Sunny took deep breaths. He tried to remember how to breathe. There were now two arms holding him, the weapon set down on the bed. Comforting…how comforting…

Kel still didn’t speak, waiting for Sunny to continue. But Sunny wasn’t sure what he wanted. He didn’t know what he needed. Something was latching onto him, wrapping around him–holding him down. And it was different. It wasn’t warm. It had no warmth that a person would.

Soft…couldn’t be prickly. It wouldn’t want him to be uncomfortable…at least not fully. Certain things couldn’t be helped.

“I promise it won’t be forever, just until…”

Sunny didn’t know.

He didn’t know anything.

Push it back…repress it. Ignore that it ever happened. Ignore that…what happened? Recall never got him. It was still trapped inside a cracking bulb–those cracks letting sounds get out. A familiar voice.

Something…it…he…

“I…”

While he’s still not here…while he hasn’t found him…

Sunny should escape, right? Sunny should prevent it from ever happening again. There was only one way to ever truly know that nightmare wouldn’t repeat. There was one act of total control that he could go through with–one that he took away from him.

Ah…it was right there…his escape was right there…

A promise.

It was a promise that he’d never have to be out of control again.

Sunny subtly reached out a hand, grasping the weapon. His breathing quickened, heartbeat pounding in his ears.

To get out…to get out…to make sure he never wins, and never gets to be happy…

The solution–

“What. Are you doing?” Kel’s voice was stiff. Sunny froze, thoughts halting momentarily. “Sunny…what…what are you thinking?” The demanding tone faltered, an almost whimpering sound rising instead. The weapon was removed from his hand. “You just…want to protect yourself. You’re not …I’m just overthinking, right?” Desperate.

Sunny was suffocating under his own lack of control.

“If…I…die…” Sunny started, ignoring the way Kel’s arms had tightened around him. “He…loses.”

It was quiet.

It was quiet for a long time.

“That’s–that’s not–”

Kel didn’t know what to say.

He didn’t know what to do.

How does he respond to that? How could he respond to that other than begging Sunny to never think that way? It elicited such a visceral fear that Kel couldn’t even think straight. He could only hold Sunny close, hold him away from the gun he himself brought out.

Brought out to use against the cause of all of this–that insidious bastard.

“No, please don’t–please don’t think like that.” Kel tried to keep his voice even, but he was failing miserably. He felt completely helpless. “If–if you die, Hero doesn’t lose.” Kel managed to spit the name out. “You do. I do. We all do. I…Sunny, I can’t…”

Kel’s vision blurred. “I can’t even pretend you don’t mean it, can I? What…what can I do, Sunny? What can I do to make you happy? What can I do to help you? I can’t undo the things that bastard did to you. I don’t even know what he did to you. But I…I’ll be here for you, okay? I’ll be right next to you each step of the way. We go forward, right? We can still be happy. You’re here now. He won’t…he can’t take you again…”

Sunny pulled away from Kel–as much as he could. He looked up and saw Kel’s expression. Kel’s eyes were curved in a smile, but they were shining. Drop by drop, tears began to fall, trailing down his cheeks. They couldn’t be stopped.

“Huh?” Kel blinked, brows furrowing. He chuckled, unwilling to wipe his tears–unwilling to let go of Sunny to do so. Sunny’s face fell, watching Kel cry. Kel noticed and tried even harder to smile.

Sunny’s eyes were wide. He hadn’t really seen Kel cry since that day at the hospital. Kel was always smiling. Kel was always so strong and confident. Sunny felt like Kel always knew what to do. Kel was his rock. And yet…

“It’s okay, I’m not sad. I’m not sad at all, don’t…worry…” As the words left Kel’s mouth, no matter how much he desired to ignore and pretend it didn’t exist, the honest feelings in his heart seeped into his mind. The feelings weren’t helpful–they were stupid and destructive, they wouldn’t do a thing. They weren’t something Kel wanted. There was no way he would want them.

He was strong and determined. He was unafraid of pain. He would help Sunny, and make everything better. He wouldn’t let the past haunt him. He wouldn’t let anything bad happen. He could resolve everything on his own. Just like the past five years, he would sustain himself and remain focused on his goal. But…

Kel lowered his head, unable to bear Sunny’s concerned stare. He didn’t want Sunny to see his weakness.

“I’m…sorry…” Sunny said as loudly as he could, easing out of his previous spiral at the broken image of his best friend. He leaned forward, stretching out his still trembling arms and wrapping them around Kel’s shoulders, holding him as close as he could. Every muffled sob echoed in Sunny’s mind, countless tears falling onto the fabric of his clothing while Kel buried his face in Sunny’s shoulder. Kel’s right hand lifted, running itself through Sunny’s hair. His other arm wrapped around Sunny, keeping him in place. The crying only grew in intensity as Sunny started to rub Kel’s trembling back, doing just as Kel did for him before.

Sunny closed his eyes, his own tears falling. “I…made…you sad…” He tried to apologize, his mind more coherent than it was before. Only now did he realize what he had said to Kel and how hurtful it must be to hear.

“You…” Kel whispered hoarsely. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Sunny…the truth…it won’t just disappear because I pretend I can’t see it.” Kel wanted to keep being strong, but he was unable to control his emotions.

Kel hiccupped loudly, letting out a short laugh afterward. Stupid. He was the worst. Sunny had been panicking, probably going through another flashback, and all Kel did was make it about himself. He was supposed to be comforting Sunny, but somehow it ended up the other way around.

Even knowing that, Kel still let himself indulge in Sunny’s care. He didn’t want to think about anything. He didn’t want to think about the suffering Sunny had gone through. Hell, he didn’t want to think about the past five years at all. The tunnel vision that had driven him…the moment it opened up, he felt lost.

He had no clue how to help Sunny besides just being there.

“Thank you…”

Kel blinked in surprise. “What?” Kel sniffled.

“You…” Sunny murmured. “You…saved me. And…keep…saving me.”

“Ah.” Kel grimaced, trying to suppress his hiccups. “I–no, I haven’t done–”

“Thank you.” Sunny reiterated, patting Kel’s head.

“Sunny…” Kel could only cry, guilt eroding his clarity. “I should’ve saved you sooner, I shouldn’t have ever let him take you. That never should’ve happened. I’m so sorry…I’m so sorry…”

Sunny didn’t say anything, continuing to pat Kel’s head. It made Kel feel small. Not in a negative sense, but…it made him feel like a kid again. Patting his head, rubbing his back…

Kel sobbed. In the past five years, not one person had comforted him like this. Maybe even longer than that. Even if he knew Sunny shouldn’t have to do this, still Kel found himself melting into the comforting actions. He was strong, he could do anything…

It wasn’t true, no matter how much he strived for it to be.

“We’ll…support…each other,” Sunny said. “I…can help…”

“You shouldn’t have to, Sunny. You’re the one who went through hell. I–I’ll be fine. I barely experienced anything bad. I was just looking for you–I didn’t have to go through the suffering you did. I shouldn’t be like this. I have no reason to be so upset.”

“Still…suffering,” Sunny mumbled, shaking his head.

Kel laughed weakly. “You haven’t changed a bit. Despite everything…how are you still like this? You’re literally comforting me when you’re the one in distress. You should be more demanding–you should be angrier. What happened to you was horrific. It wasn’t fair at all. It should have never happened.”

“Fate…” Sunny thought aloud, as if to say ‘it can’t be helped'.

“Fate?” Kel huffed. “Then I’ll throttle fate.”

A pause.

…

Then, laughter.

Both near inaudible.

It wasn’t really happy, it wasn’t really joyful. The atmosphere remained somber, an overhanging presentiment sinking their moods. But at least…

At least they had each other.

At least, at that moment…

They were safe.

...

“We need to rest up for tomorrow,” Kel whispered, the laughter dying down. Sunny nodded, but the two remained in that same entangled embrace. Neither had the will to move. The contact was too comforting to release.

Reality won in the end and the two made their way under the covers. Kel put the gun back where it belonged, locking it in the box and hiding it in his bedside drawer. As he moved to lay down, he felt Sunny latch onto his back. Kel blinked but continued in his motion.

Kel laid on his side, Sunny hugging him from behind. It was bizarre. Sunny was much smaller, shouldn’t it be the other way around?

…Sunny was patting his head again.

…

Kel pursed his lips, eyes shining in the dark.

It was nice. Strangely, it felt like he was being given permission to be small and weak. Even when he was a kid, it’s not like his parents comforted him much, not when Hero was so visibly miserable.

Kel took care of himself. He’s used to it. Going around independently wasn’t hard. Figuring things out, moving forward…

…

Maybe…

Maybe in this one little moment, for only this night…

Kel would let himself be weak.

Only for a few hours. Only as long as the night lasted.

...

Then he would go back to normal.

****

“You have to be on your best behavior today, Basil.” Aubrey pulled his ear, hand on her hip. Basil swatted at her.

“Okay! Okay! I promise!” Basil whined, trying to get away. Aubrey narrowed her eyes, huffing and stepping back.

“Sally’s going to be there. If you do anything weird she’s going to notice.” Aubrey nudged him as they continued walking to Kel’s house. Basil grumbled under his breath but didn’t retort. It’s not like Aubrey was wrong. Kids had no filter.

“I won’t be weird…I wasn’t weird around Omori.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna say that’s different.” Aubrey sighed. “Look, you know I know how you are. I know all the stuff you do to manage…whatever it is going on with you. And I’m here to support you. But please just tell me if you start getting anxious or something. Kel has been on edge recently, and I’m sure Sunny isn’t feeling great either.”

“Okay.” Basil clasped his hands together, smiling happily. “Don’t worry! I’m just excited to see Sunny. I won’t be nervous this time!” It was an honest joy. Basil looked ahead with a sparkling gaze, in his own world.

Aubrey frowned.

“Hey…” She began, hesitant. “You, um, love Sunny, right?”

“Of course I do! I always have.” Basil beamed, no reluctance in his admittance. “You already knew that.”

“Yeah.” Aubrey glanced away. “Just to clarify…is it, like, romantic?” Aubrey grimaced, looking at Basil cautiously.

“Huh?” Basil tilted his head. “Does it matter?”

“Kind of.”

“Well, I think…” Basil’s brows furrowed. “Huh. I…never really thought about it?”

“What?” Aubrey said, incredulous. “You just said you’ve been in love with him since you met. How do you not know if it’s romantic or platonic?”

“It never really mattered to me?” Basil shrugged weakly. “I don’t know. I just, I love him? I don’t really think it’s specifically romantic or platonic…I just…we’re soulmates. That’s how I’ve always thought about it. Something beyond normal conventions…” Basil gained an almost dreamy look. Aubrey made a face.

“I…vaguely…remember.” That old notebook he had that was burned. Aubrey thought she might remember a passage rambling about it. “I guess that makes sense? You’ve never really expressed interest in dating or any of that stuff. You’re just…you just want to be around him.” Aubrey almost said ‘you’re just obsessed with him’, but used her modicum amount of self-control to say something less direct.

“Right.” Basil nodded. “I think I just feel things differently from most people.”

“That’s putting it lightly,” Aubrey stated bluntly. Basil side-eyed her. Aubrey was slightly pissed off by the look. “Hey, I’m just being honest. You said it yourself.”

“You made it an insult.” Basil narrowed his eyes.

Aubrey stopped walking. Basil soon did too. The two stared at each other. Aubrey clenched and unclenched her hands, before taking a deep breath. She let it out through her mouth, her eyes losing their growing fire.

“Basil…” She decided to throw caution in the wind. If she didn’t say it now she would never say it. Timing be damned. Who cares if they were about to have a picnic? She needed to say something.

For five years she had been enabling Basil in an attempt to keep him from offing himself like she thought Hero and Sunny had. And because of that, now Basil was like this. Somehow worse than he was five years ago. The only difference was Basil’s ability to mask his weirdness–thanks to Aubrey’s guidance.

She had regrets. If she knew Sunny was alive, she wouldn’t have allowed it to get this bad. She would’ve actively tried to make a change, no matter how tired she was. Now, it was like they were screwed. Basil could really mess this up for them all.

If Basil triggered Sunny…

Aubrey leveled Basil with a stern glare, one not unlike an older sister’s.

“This love of yours…” Aubrey pursed her lips. “It’s morbid. You have to give it up eventually.”

A gentle summer breeze ran its fingers through Basil’s hair around the flower crown on his head. Two blue eyes blankly stared forward, and for a moment, Aubrey could see the disorder behind them. Years of unresolved emotions remained trapped inside, desperately trying to claw their way out. 

Aubrey watched Basil lower his head, hiding that piercing gaze.

“I know. I know that would be best.”

Aubrey’s eyes widened.

“And I’m happy that you think I’m capable of such normalcy.”

With that, he turned abruptly, ending the conversation with the flourish of his hand. Wearing an assured and familiar smile, he gestured for Aubrey to move forward with him.

“Ha…” Aubrey sighed. She didn’t know what she expected.

It would probably be unwise to contemplate Basil’s words any further.

It’s always been clear to her that Basil had gone through way more shit than he should have. Much of what he is could be attributed to it. Yet, there was something off. It wasn’t just that. It wasn’t just the trauma. It was how he dealt with it all.

“Do you think Sunny will like my new look?” Basil turned, beaming. He was genuinely excited–not a thing looked wrong about him.

Aubrey tried to smile, tried to smile as she came to an unnerving conclusion.

Basil’s coping mechanism for anything and everything...

“Yeah.”

...was Sunny.

****

“I like the flowers in your hair. Is it a crown? Like a princess? Can I have it? I want to look pretty too.” Sally opened her palms, genuinely waiting for him to comply. Basil smiled nervously, glancing over at Kel for help. Kel just shrugged, going back to unpacking the food with Sunny.

Basil then turned to Aubrey, but she was arranging the flowers by Mari’s grave. There was no one to help him.

“Hello? Earth to…Basil?” Sally tilted her head. “That’s your name, right?”

“It is.” Basil nodded, trying to escape the conversation to go sit beside Sunny.

“I think mommy said that's a food.” Sally grinned. “You have a silly name.”

Basil gave her a thumbs up. He was smiling–maybe. It didn’t really look like one. It was strained, his body slouching away from Sally.

Sally stared at Basil for a few moments before snorting, turning, and walking away. Basil was no fun. She would just hang out with her brothers instead.

“Sunny!”

Sunny looked up, eyes widening as Sally tackled him in a hug. He felt a hand steady him and he looked over at Kel. Kel was still unpacking with one hand, getting Sunny back upright and then going back to work with both.

“Hey! Hey! Do you want to play a game with me?” Sally smiled brightly, putting her hands on Sunny’s head. Sunny tilted his head in silent question. Sally wiggled in excitement. “Picture game!” Sally jumped on Kel next. Kel caught her, already watching in his peripheral.

“What’s up?” Kel laughed, all the food finally set out. “We’re going to eat soon.”

“Gimme my book, please!” Sally made grabby hands. Kel sighed fondly, reaching into the basket and pulling out a sketchbook and a pack of colored pencils. She smiled brightly, patting his face–couldn’t reach his head–then went back to Sunny.

“Okay. I made this game, it's so cool.” Sally sat down next to Sunny and leaned into him, making lines on the page. “I will draw something and you guess what it is. Then switch!” Sally smiled brightly, already starting her drawing. “I’ll go first.”

Sunny nodded, attentive and focused on her pencil marks. Kel glanced at them both, smiling softly. Sunny looked most at peace when with Sally–probably because she was a child. It made sense, children weren’t threatening in the slightest–well, at least to Sunny. 

In such a peaceful moment, Kel could almost pretend the five years hadn’t happened and that they all just grew up together as a sort of normal family.

“C–Can I join you guys?” Basil was looking directly at Sunny when asking. Sunny looked up, studying. Basil flushed, glancing away nervously. Sunny hadn’t seen his new look before. Would he like it? Omori did, so Sunny would, right?

“What?” Sally looked up too, puffing up her cheeks. “No, go away.”

“Huh?” Basil’s smile froze in place, standing stiffly.

“I’m playing with Sunny. Go away.” Sally shooed him, going back to work on her drawing, her tongue slightly sticking out.

Basil remained in place, not really sure what to do. He looked back at Sunny, who seemed…amused? Basil felt happy again. 

He really wanted to sit next to Sunny, but those spots were taken by Kel and Sally.

As if sensing his gaze, Kel looked up. Basil smiled best he could. Kel’s eyebrows raised. “Family priority seating.” He then looked back down toward what Sally was drawing, leaning over Sunny’s shoulder.

Basil’s fingers twitched. He unceremoniously plopped down across from the three. At least he could look at Sunny...

“I’m starving.” Aubrey walked over to the group, finished with the grave upkeep. She grinned as she sat down beside Basil, turning to him and resting her chin on her fist. Basil glanced at her, unamused.

“You’re laughing at me.” He whispered.

“Maybe.” She shrugged then turned to Kel. “Hey, when can we eat?”

“Now.” Kel grabbed a sandwich for himself, consuming half of it in one bite. Aubrey scrunched up her nose, grabbing her own. Basil tentatively did the same.

“Sunny, Sally, take a break from the game and eat.” Kel handed the two sandwiches and Sally happily dug in. Sunny nodded in thanks.

It was peaceful as they all ate on the picnic blanket, the gentle chirping of the birds and the summer breeze all creating a serene atmosphere. Sunny would occasionally look up and over at Mari’s grave, an indescribable softness in his eyes. Aubrey and Kel would often do the same, while Basil’s gaze drew toward Sunny.

“Tasty,” Sally mumbled. Everyone agreed.

Kel was glad he gave Sally a small talk before they came–making sure she wouldn’t say anything off while they visited Mari. It would’ve been bad if she made an insensitive comment. She already bluntly called Sunny a ghost to his face.

...

It wasn’t long before all the food was gone. Aubrey laid back on the ground, uncaring of the fact she was only half on the blanket. Sally ran over to Aubrey and laid right next to her, giggling when Aubrey nudged her.

Sunny, out of habit, took up the sketchbook and began drawing. He was happy to have pencils again…

Sunny’s brows furrowed momentarily.

Just think about how nice it is, not about the past.

Right.

Sunny didn’t really know what to draw, so he just decided to draw what was across from him. Sally and Aubrey had gotten up and begun playing chopsticks. Sunny started sketching in the shapes, a tiny smile on his lips.

“Can…I sit here?” Basil once again attempted to score a spot beside Sunny now that there was room. Sunny nodded absentmindedly. Basil beamed, sitting so quickly he accidentally hurt himself.

Kel snorted, then went back to watching Sunny draw. His leg was swaying back and forth, each time gently bumping into Sunny’s. Basil stared at the contact and felt envy. He wanted to be close to Sunny too…but he didn’t want to make Sunny uncomfortable. He was fine just being near.

“How are you drawing them when they keep moving?” Kel mumbled, glancing over at Sally who was rolling around. Aubrey dragged her back into a sitting position.

Sunny hummed. “Just do.”

“Not very helpful.” Kel grinned. Sunny merely shrugged, still more focused on drawing than anything else. Kel glanced up, making eye contact with Basil. “How are you?”

“Me?” Basil startled. “I’m doing…okay.”

“That’s good.” Kel smiled. “I’m glad you and Aubrey are holding up alright. You guys really act like siblings now.”

“Yeah. I’m told that…” Basil rubbed the back of his head, laughing softly. “I’m always called the little brother…”

“Aren’t you older than Aubrey?”

“Why don’t you tell her that?” Basil sighed, his posture becoming more relaxed. “She’s a lot more mature than me, so it makes sense that people think that.”

“She does look pretty mature.” Kel agreed, watching Sally plead about something and then turn around. Soon after Aubrey began braiding her hair. “Still a softy though.”

“Definitely,” Basil said. “Honestly, she’s amazing. I think she’s really cool.”

“Me too.” Kel found himself saying.

“…Same.” Sunny mumbled.

“A collective agreement.” Kel snorted. “Must be true then.”

“The amount of people who have confessed to her over the years is almost comical.” Basil’s head lolled to the side, his shoulder moving almost enough to bump into Sunny. “She rejects them all. Always says ‘I have too much on my plate’ or ‘nobody meets my standards’. I have yet to figure out what her standards are.”

“If it’s Aubrey, I’m sure the bar is about as high as the clouds.”

Basil chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re probably right. She talks about everyone around her like they’re children. Especially people our age.”

They both watch Sally’s eyes sparkle as she spins around happily, showing off her new braids. Aubrey was smiling so tenderly. It was almost vulnerable. It seems Sunny wasn’t the only one who was comforted by Sally’s presence.

“…Why does Sally like everyone but me?” Basil pouted, shoulder accidentally bumping into Sunny. Sunny didn’t react. Basil’s eyes brightened, and he allowed himself to keep the physical contact.

“Couldn’t tell you.” Kel sighed. “She’s hard to please. She’s been ignoring me in favor of Sunny as of late. She really likes watching him draw.”

“I can see the appeal.” Basil hums, watching Sunny shade in Aubrey’s hair. “You’re really good at drawing, Sunny.”

Sunny paused. The tips of his ears turned red. He went back to drawing, giving a slight nod.

“Basil’s right! You’re really awesome at it!” Kel grinned, giving Sunny a thumbs up. Sunny lowered his head even more. His ears were bright red. Basil and Kel glanced at each other over Sunny, deciding not to point it out.

The rest of the afternoon was spent peacefully, filled with pointless conversations and little games directed by Sally.

Sunny sat through it all, and by the end…

The smile on his face was brighter and more genuine than it’d been in years.

****

Hero didn’t know what happened.

One moment he was spilling his soul to Keith and the next, he was wrestling desperately, trying to keep Keith from calling the police and ruining everything.

Hero had lunged when Keith pulled out his phone, but Keith just rushed to the side, knocking into one of his shelves. Hero tried to say something but it was like his throat closed up. The tears in his eyes didn’t help.

Keith quickly grabbed the gun set aside, scrambling to lift it up and point. Seeing that, Hero felt hollow.

Ketih…Keith would do that to him? After everything they’d been through…after everything Hero told him…

It felt like betrayal. It hurt. It hurt it hurt it hurt it hurt–

His worst fear.

This was his worst fear.

One of the reason’s he never allowed himself to care for others–why he never allowed others to care for him–

Was because Hero couldn’t handle the pain that came with rejection.

This…was the first time this aspect of his fear came to fruition. This was the first time a person he’d chosen to allow himself to be close to rejected him. Mari–the love of his life, his soulmate–didn’t. Sunny–his precious little brother, his family–didn’t.

Keith–his first and only best friend, someone he trusted–

Hero tackled Keith to the ground, knocking the phone out of Keith’s hand and tugging on the gun. Keith swings his arm across, nailing Hero in the face.

It didn’t hurt.

It didn’t hurt at all.

Nothing hurt more than the agonizing feeling in his chest. Tears fell uselessly from his eyes even as the two fought, Keith’s enraged eyes like daggers to Hero’s soul.

Hero grunts, refusing to let go. The two fumbled and the cabinet fell over. Glass shattered against the floor. The gun clicks and Keith knees Hero in the gut. Hero scowls, heart beating in his ears.

“Stop! Please stop!” Hero yelled, desperately hoping Keith would just listen.

“Fuck off! You fucking creep! You bastard! You pathetic kidnapper!” Keith hurled out insults, snarling at Hero.

“We’re friends! We’re supposed to be friends!” Hero managed, unable to prevent the pathetic sobs wracking his adrenalin-filled body.

“I thought so too! But you lied to me! Over and over with no remorse! You tricked me!”

Back and forth they pulled the gun.

“You’re supposed to understand me!” Hero cried out, wanting this to just be over. He just wanted Keith to stop being like this.

“Hero, this isn’t something to understand! What the hell is wrong with you!?”

Back and forth and back and forth, the gun was pulled.

“Nothing’s wrong with me! I’m doing what’s right! I’m fulfilling a promise–I’m protecting what I care about! Keith, please!” Hero was begging. Hero was begging Keith to stop this. Hero didn’t want to let go of their friendship. Hero wished he could go back–wished he never spilled his heart.

“You–I can’t listen to this! This has to be some sick fucking joke! You psychopath!”

Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth, the weapon was gripped recklessly.

“Just LISTEN TO ME–” Hero got closer, the gun between their bent arms. He wished this wasn’t happening…but he could fix it, right? He just needed Keith to listen. He just needed Keith to be calm and not violent. He just needed Keith to–go to sleep–

“YOU FUCKING–” Keith shoved against him. Hero could clearly see it wasn’t just anger in his eyes. There was something else. Something else that made Hero’s heart shatter even further.

Keith tried to get a better grip on the gun. Hero, panicked, did the same, hand wrapping around the handle thoughtlessly.

And it was pulled.

Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and–

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST–”

“I’M NOT GOING TO–”

Hero’s hand clenched as he tried to move in a defensive motion. His fingers curled, and–

BANG

“HERO–”

BANG

“…Huh…?”

Two shots. It took two for him to untense his hand.

Clink

Empty casings bounced off the floor.

“No…no, no…no I’m…Keith, I…”

Clink

Hero stared forward, utterly shocked. He tossed the gun aside as if it burned him, gently moving Keith onto his back, looming over him with trembling hands. Red hands. The blood seemed to soak into his scars.

7:23.

“Keith–I didn’t–no no no, please god no–”

Silence.

Keith didn’t respond. Hero stared at Keith, stared at the way his hair splayed out around his head, at the two wounds in his unmoving chest, at the blood seeping out onto the floor…

“It…I didn’t…it was…”

A hand to the neck.

There was no heartbeat. 

Hero sobbed, hunching over Keith. He wanted to bring him into an embrace, but his arms hovered. He couldn’t bring himself to touch Keith. Not when he had hurt him so badly. Not when his hands were so red.

“It was…”

Lifeless.

His friend was completely lifeless. His only friend. His only friend was dead by his hands. It didn’t…it didn’t have to be this way. Hero just wanted to knock him out. If he did that, then Hero could’ve fixed everything. Hero wouldn’t have to let go.

But now there was nothing to hold onto.

Keith was–he was–

“…An accident.”

Red.

Red was everywhere.

It reminded him of something horrible. Of something else he could have prevented. But at least that time…at least that time, it hadn’t been by Hero’s hands.

At least that time, Hero could make it up to the one on the ground.

Now, there was no way to do that.

Hero...killed his friend.

He killed someone he cared about.

He always thought that no matter what...as long as he protected those closest to him, he was in the right. He had to be right because he was doing a good thing–sometimes it was just a little complicated. The end justifies the means...right?

Hero was a good person.

He had to be.

If he wasn’t…

If he wasn’t…

Then–

“Why did it have to end this way?”

Hero opened his eyes.

“Did you get the fuel?”

Hero blinked rapidly, vision clearing. His whole body trembled and he couldn’t stop himself from stumbling into the room, falling into Keith.

“Whoa! Are you okay?”

“Sorry…I’m so sorry…”

“Oh god, um…okay, let’s go sit down.”

Keith helped him inside and closed the door. Everything was completely silent.

Hero pulled away from Keith, checking him over. He let out a huge sigh of relief, laughing at the feeling washing over him. Keith worriedly cocked his head to the side. Hero calmed down quickly, still shaking.

“I…I had this awful dream, or…or vision, or something. Whatever you call it. I accidentally shot you.” Hero chuckled in disbelief, rubbing the back of his neck. It hurt to speak for some reason. Keith blinked, brushing the red hair from his face.

“It’s okay, Hero. I know you didn’t mean to.” Keith spoke nonchalantly, shrugging.

“What? What are you talking about?”

Keith smiled, gazing at Hero with understanding.

“It wasn’t a dream.”

Hero stood, hands trembling as he loomed over something on the floor. The lights were no longer lit and flickering, and the crickets of the night chirped quietly.

Hero remained silent, expression blank. He stretched his hands, feeling a dry coat of something over them.

What time is it? What time is it supposed to be? This…wasn’t right.

Hero turned away.

What’s it like?

A shadow in the doorway, appearance tightly resembling his sunshine’s.

Denial…

Hero glanced at the clock, then at the calendar on the fridge.

Is it fun?

Hero inhaled.

You’ll be stuck here until you accept it.

Hero exhaled.

I wonder how long it will take you to leave the denial stage this time?

His body slacked.

…

In the wake of regret and loss, Hero chose to build insurmountable walls around his very being.

…

Under his skin.

Bottled up.

Repressed.

…

Hero looked at the clock.

7:00

“Of course I don’t think you're wrong, Hero. You’re my best friend.” Keith stopped tugging his arm away, moving in to bring Hero into a hug instead. “Look, you know I’m always going to be here for you. No matter what happens, I’m going to stick around.”

Hero gripped onto Keith with shaking hands, wrinkling the fabric of his clothing. “Thank you…thank you so much…”

“Come on, how about we sit down? You can tell me about everything that happened. I won’t get mad at all, I promise. You can trust me.”

“Okay.” Hero agreed, even though anxiety grabbed ahold of him.

And so he explained.

Hero’s point of view. Mari. The promise. Everything that had happened. The decisions he made. The happiness he and Sunny had. The joy that had been ripped right from his grasp. Every high and low, all from his lens and through his words. All on his side. All fate.

When his words stopped, when the droning recollection finally ended, Hero focused on Keith. They silently stared at each other.

Suddenly, Keith brought Hero into a strong hug, almost hurting Hero’s back. “Jesus, that sounds awful! I can’t believe you had to go through that shit! I can’t imagine how painful that was for both you and Sunny.”

Hero’s eyes widened, tears gathering and falling rapidly down his face. “You…didn’t get mad…”

“Why would I? What happened to you was not your fault at all!” Keith pulled back, grabbing Hero’s face and wiping his tears. “You were just protecting Sunny. I completely understand. I’m so fucking sorry you have to deal with all of this. But…you’re not alone, okay? I’m here for you. I–I don’t really know how to help, but just know that I’m here to support you.”

Hero sobbed, smiling as he did so. He was so relieved. He was so relieved.

Keith was his best friend, and always would be. He was stupid for being nervous about revealing everything. The people he chose to care for–the people he let care about him were so few and far between that it was only natural it would work out. Hero wouldn’t be close to someone who would abandon him. He wouldn’t be close to someone he would have to let go of.

It was only right Keith was kind like this, kind like Sunny and Mari…

“Thank you…” Hero continued to repeat, an almost broken mantra flowing past his lips. Keith just smiled as he began to cry as well.

Keith pulled Hero close again, hugging him tightly. He ran his fingers through Hero’s hair with one hand and used the other to rub his back. Hero wrapped his arms around Keith as tightly as he could, crying into his shoulder.

Keith comforting him...

Keith understanding him…

Keith being there for him…

It was natural.

It was right.

Because…

Keith was his best friend.

And Keith would always be his best friend.

…

The itching…

…

The scratching…

…

Black shadows flicked.

…

Hero’s whole body burned.

Chapter Text

“Sunny…how are you so good at this?” Kel said in awe, watching Sunny move the machine’s joystick, Pacman flitting across the screen.

Sunny shrugged. “Genius.”

“You know what? I believe you.” Kel was genuinely impressed. Sunny had long passed his own high score.

For a few weeks, it’d been like this–the group would all hang out and go to different places, usually guided by Sunny’s choice. Sunny still wasn’t the biggest fan of public places–and sometimes there were slip-ups–but as long as all his friends were with him, he was happy.

Today the group went to the arcade. After Sunny mentioned wanting to play some more of the new games that’d come out, Kel was quick to propose the trip. Once they arrived Aubrey had dragged Basil directly to the DDR machine.

Kel turned his head, seeing them still going at it. Basil managed to keep up with Aubrey’s seemingly endless energy, once again cementing his deceptive strength in Kel’s mind.

Sunny’s tongue stuck out as he leaned further in.

You missed the fruit.

He didn’t need the fruit.

It makes the numbers higher.

Yes, but it could also kill him.

You should get the fruit.

He’s not going to get the fruit.

Get the fruit.

Sunny rose a brow, purposefully avoiding a newly appeared fruit that would easily be acquired.

Hey! Come on! Now you’re just sabotaging yourself.

“Stop nagging.” Sunny whispered under his breath.

Nagging? That’s rude.

That’s the point.

Oh! Watch out!

Sunny moved his whole body with the sharp turn, completely invested. His heart rate picked up the faster the colorful ghosts moved. A smile lifted his lips.

“Hey, after you’re done, do you want to try playing Street Fighter?” Kel proposed, seeing Aubrey try to knock Basil over after she missed a few steps. Basil screeched.

“Yes.” Sunny wanted to play every game in the arcade. His eyes glimmered with excitement.

“Sick! I bet you can’t beat me in that one!” Kel proudly put a hand to his chest. “I’m great at fighting games!”

Sunny had a feeling that wasn’t true. Kel seemed to be a ‘no strategy, just brute force it’ kind of guy. Not that it was a bad thing. Sunny happened to think it was charming.

Pay attention or you’ll lose.

Right, right.

How did you mentally roll your eyes?

Magic.

Sarcasm. That’s new.

Comes with old age.

You’re twenty, not seventy.

Basically the same thing.

Wow. You’re snarky today.

Video games brought it out of him.

It’s a good thing. You’re doing great. I’m glad you’re having fun.

Sunny tensed, almost messing up. He pursed his lips.

Sorry.

Sunny sighed. Drawing attention to his ‘improvement’ always caused him to pause. It made him happy but wary, because no matter what he did to recover, there was still something he ignored and pretended never happened–and it’s something he doesn’t even remember.

It’s fine. I won’t let you or me remember.

What was so awful it needed another–

“Sunny? You lost a minute ago…are you okay?”

Sunny felt a hand on his shoulder. He blinked, realizing he got lost in thought. He shook his head briefly, turning to look up at Kel. He gave a thumbs up. Kel smiled, but it still looked concerned.

Sunny grabbed Kel’s hand and started dragging him toward where he thought Street Fighter might be. “Let’s play.”

“Okay.” Kel’s smile grew more genuine.

“W–Wait–!” Basil called out to them as they walked past. “Help me! She won’t let me quit!”

“Until I beat you fair and square, we’re not stopping!”

“Aubrey, you already did–”

“Nope! You let me win! Don’t think I don’t see through your tricks you piece of shit!” Aubrey chose a difficult song, grinning sharply. “Let’s see how you fare with this!”

Sunny saw Basil’s pleading look. Sunny saluted him. Rest in peace.

“Noooo….” Basil wailed dramatically. Aubrey cackled.

“Those two really are like siblings.” Kel laughed as they walked away. Basil, despite his complaints, still danced. Kel wished he had a camera.

Sunny hummed in agreement.

It’s ironic, in a way, considering he and Kel were the ones who actually had–

Maybe don’t follow that train of thought.

Right. Better not.

“Alright! Get ready Sunny, because you’re about to lose to the greatest Street Fighter player of all time!” Kel boasted, pushing two coins into the machine’s slot.

And so the two played.

...It didn’t take long for Kel to lose.

“Aw, come on!” Kel whined, almost pouting. “Why are you better at this than me?”

“Genius.” Sunny nodded proudly. Kel hung his head, raising his hands in surrender.

“You’re right, you’re right. I should have never doubted you, oh great one.” Kel bowed dramatically, before reaching out and roughly ruffling Sunny’s hair. Sunny scowled, swatting at the hand.

Kel chuckled, eyes curving in genuine joy. Sunny found himself matching the smile, a short laugh slipping past his lips as he continued to try and remove Kel’s hand.

The moment the sound came out, Kel’s eyes snapped open wide. He quickly recovered, though, and went back to laughing.

“Alright, best of five out of nine!”

“Wow.” That’s a large number.

“Watch! I’m going to beat you this time, I swear!” Kel grinned confidently.

And then promptly lost.

Every time he lost, he increased the number of wins needed to be deemed the true victor. Sunny went along with it, a weight slowly lifting off his shoulders.

The feeling in his chest was light.

He…was happy.

He felt safe.

Sunny’s eyes glistened momentarily, so content in the precious moment–a content feeling he hoped to continue experiencing as the summer continued, and as they all hung out more. The weeks would fly by, he knew. Time was already flying. He enjoyed being with his friends so much.

Every day was a new thing he got to experience. Each time he stepped out the front door he took a deep breath, memorizing the smell of the fresh breeze and the way the sun warmed his skin.

Sunny glanced at his watch. They still had a couple of hours to play. They could come back another day too. They had all the time in the world. Sunny’s joy grew and grew, the smile on his lips becoming clearly visible. His expression was lively.

He looked alive.

Kel observed this all from the side, uncaring as he lost another game from being distracted. Sunny was practically glowing. Kel was so glad. He was worried going out to the arcade would be too much for him, and although Sunny definitely was nervous when first coming in, continuing to stick by his side…

Kel was happy, because Sunny was happy.

“Hey, how about we–” Kel fully turned to face Sunny, ready to move on to a new game. “…Sunny?”

Sunny was staring past Kel, every bit of relaxed joy sucked out of his expression. Kel grabbed his shoulder softly. “Sunny? Sunny, what’s wrong?” He spoke urgently.

Sunny’s lips moved, eyes drawn wide with terror. He lifted a shaking hand, pointing forward.

Kel turned his head.

It was a man with his back to them. Black hair. Tan. Pierced ears–

Oh. Kel squinted for a moment, reaffirming it wasn’t who Sunny thought it was. Kel figured that bastard wouldn’t keep the same appearance after Sunny was saved anyways. It was only logical Hero would change his look for the second time. There was no way that was him. It didn’t even really look like him.

But at a quick glance–

“Sunny, look at me.” Kel crouched down, cupping Sunny’s face and gently turning him away from the stranger. Sunny was trembling, large water droplets falling from his eyes without a sound. Kel gently wiped them away. “That’s not him, Sunny. He isn’t here.”

Sunny reached forward, latching onto Kel’s hoodie with shaking hands. Kel’s expression momentarily broke, but he gathered himself. Now wasn’t the time. He needed to be strong for Sunny. He needed to be calm.

Kel briefly turned back, noticing the man was now facing more toward them. Didn’t look anything like that bastard. Kel brought Sunny into his arms, lifting him up. “Here, just look at him real quick for me. Just for a moment. Then you’ll see it’s not him.”

Sunny buried his face in Kel’s hoodie, shaking his head. Kel faltered, but remained determined.

“Sunny, I promise you. It’s not him. I just need you to look. I need you to do that for yourself, okay? Once you look, you’ll know it’s not him. You’ll feel much better.” Kel spoke softly, coaxing Sunny to lift his head.

Sunny remained still for a few seconds, before slowly uncurling, lifting his head. He kept his watery, desperate eyes on Kel, minutely shaking his head. Kel’s heart broke. “Please, Sunny. For me?”

Sunny bit his trembling bottom lip. He nodded, taking deep breaths to gear himself up. He turned his head.

Sunny stared, barely focused.

It’s not him.

But it looked like him.

For a moment it did.

But Hero doesn’t look like that.

No, he doesn’t.

Hero’s taller.

Hero towered over you.

Hero had a different face.

A very different face.

The hairstyle was different.

Hero’s hairstyle was always pretty…distinct.

It was easier to breathe.

For a moment there–

Sunny didn’t let go of his grip on Kel. He didn’t want to get down even after knowing it wasn’t Hero. It didn’t really matter. This brought him back to reality. He’d been so stupidly happy and at peace that he forgot about Hero completely.

But then he was reminded.

“Sunny, you saw, right?”

Sunny nodded, curling back into Kel.

“…Do you want to go outside?”

Another nod.

“Okay. Let’s go outside.” Kel smiled, carrying Sunny easily. He didn’t convey any annoyance. Sunny reminded himself that he wasn’t a burden. Kel told him he wasn’t a burden. Kel was smiling and it looked genuine, if not a bit sad. But it’s natural to be sad.

Sunny probably looked miserable.

“Kel, is everything okay?” Sunny heard Basil’s voice but didn’t look up. He kept his face buried in Kel’s hoodie.

“Yup. We’re just going to get some fresh air.” Kel said. Sunny found comfort in his voice.

“Is he okay?” Aubrey’s voice this time. “Are you okay?”

“Huh? Why would you ask that? Of course I’m fine.” Kel laughed it off. “And Sunny…will be okay. You guys can keep playing. We’ll just be right outside.”

Aubrey reached out a hand, wanting to say more. But she didn’t. She hesitated, and Kel was gone.

She remained standing there, brows furrowed.

“Aubrey?” 

“Jesus!” Aubrey jumped. She put a hand over her heart. “Don’t just suddenly talk like that!”

“Sorry.” Basil winced. He then glanced toward the exit. “Should we follow them…?”

“I don’t think so. Kel would’ve asked us to come if he wanted us to. It looks like Sunny got triggered by something.” Aubrey sighed, looking down. “God, this sucks. He seemed to be having so much fun…”

“He was.” Basil nodded. “He was smiling.”

“I hope he remembers that over the end,” Aubrey said, turning away from the door. She elected to ignore the fact that Basil was somehow playing DDR and watching Sunny at the same time.

The two walked aimlessly until Basil spoke up. “By the way, why’d you ask Kel if he was okay?”

Aubrey paused. “I…” She frowned. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“It just kind of came out?” Aubrey gestured with her hands, grimacing. “I felt compelled or something. It was…”

Aubrey tensed.

“…I was just making sure nothing big happened.”

“That makes sense.” Basil agreed.

Aubrey lifted her hand, biting her thumbnail. She glanced at Basil, who was looking ahead. There didn’t seem to be anything off with him beside the slight worry in his eyes. That was to be expected, though. Sunny was in distress, of course Basil would focus on that.

But she wasn’t.

Aubrey scrunched up her nose.

She felt it in her chest.

It wasn’t a gut feeling.

This one was painful.

It promised misery.

…

Aubrey glanced behind herself, toward the direction Kel would be.

…

No…

…

Aubrey’s eyes flickered as she looked forward.

This feeling in her chest…

It was a fluke.

Nothing would come to fruition.

“What’s taking them so long?”

“I don’t know…it’s just some groceries, right?”

“…That siren…it’s…”

“It’s been getting louder and louder.”

“I can see the lights. I…”

“Aubrey, I’ll go–”

“No, Kel, stay here with Omori. I’ll go look. It’s probably nothing.”

“R–Right. It’s probably nothing. Omori and I will keep looking at the photo album…”

“Great. I’ll be right back.”

Aubrey covered her mouth.

…

What a strange thing to recall.

****

“Okay, so before we go to the dojo or whatever I figured we all should go to lunch together.” Aubrey crossed her arms, making sure Kel, Basil, and Sunny were all following close behind. “I told them to meet us at Gino’s just so it’s easier. Kim’s coming because she’s my favorite and I love her, and Angel and Mikhael are also coming because they have been practicing Krav Maga for two years now. Well, Angel has been doing it for three years actually. They invited Mikhael after they got an orange belt.”

“Cool.” Kel gave a thumbs up. “It’ll be nice to see them again after all this time. Does Mikhael still wear that dumb wig?” Kel snickered. Aubrey let out a snort, shaking her head.

“No, but he did dye his hair on his right side.”

“Half and half?” Kel rose his brow. Sunny’s head perked up, intrigued.

“Yup. Right side is blonde, left side is his natural color.” Aubrey said. “It looks pretty good on him, actually. Ridiculous and over the top, but sick.”

“Sounds cool to me.” Kel shrugged. Sunny agreed.

The four arrived at Gino’s, seeing three people chatting right outside. Mikhael stood out immediately with his hair. Aubrey hadn’t been exaggerating. It was an even split of color.

“Yo!” Kim waved to the four of them, eyes trailing over Basil for a moment. There was a slight scowl, but it shifted back into a smile. “Good to see you all again!” Kim grinned sharply, pointing at Kel. “You’re a fucking giant.”

“Thank you.” Kel mimicked her smile, lowering his head. “I drank lots of milk.”

“So did I.” Angel interjected, a mess of colorful clips stuck into their hair. “And yet here I am. Small. Short.”

Sunny didn’t think they were all that short. Angel was still a good half-head taller than Sunny.

“Short, but powerful.” Mikhael clapped his hand over Angel’s shoulder, solemn. “The best of us all.”

“You sound sarcastic. I know you aren’t, but it really sounds like you are.” Angel nudged him. Mikhael pouted.

“Nice to see you guys again.” Kel smiled, looking over the three. “I like your hair, Mikhael.”

“Naturally.” Mikhael flicked a piece of hair out of his face. He then turned to Sunny. “I love your purple eye. It’s sick.”

Sunny blinked in acknowledgment.

“Yeah! I wish I had a cool eye…” Angel mumbled, putting a hand under their chin. “Maybe I’ll get some color contacts…” Angel smiled to themself. “Perfect. Thanks for the idea, Sunny!”

Sunny didn’t really know what he contributed but nodded nonetheless.

After a few more minutes of slightly awkward reconnecting, the group went inside. Kim slung her arm over Aubrey’s shoulder, leaning into her. “We haven’t hung out in so long. It’s about time.” Kim grumbled. Aubrey laughed.

“Sorry, sorry. You know things have been hectic. Especially the past few weeks.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Kim turned her head to look back at Kel and Sunny, then at Basil. Her eyes narrowed at Basil’s new appearance. “Looks like you finally got the creep to stop wearing that shitty outfit.”

“What did I say about calling him that?” Aubrey sighed, watching Kel and Sunny walk up to the counter. “Hey, are you two paying?” She called out.

“Sunny wants to pay! Parents have been giving him a huge allowance, so he’s got a lot to spare.” Kel grinned, shoving his hands into his pockets. Aubrey’s brows furrowed, picking up on a bitter undertone. Was she missing something?

“I–I just thought a change would be nice…” Basil was hunched into himself, nervous at Angel and Mikhael’s bombardment of questions.

“It looks great on you!” Angel beamed. “If you ever need help shopping for new clothes, I know a bunch of cool places! The flower crown is nice, but I think you need more accessories.” Angel put their hand in the pocket of their mosaic printed pants, pulling out a chained bracelet with little pink flowers. “Here, It’s too big for me but it looks perfect for your wrist!”

“Oh! Um, thank you.” Basil smiled shyly, taking the bracelet and putting it on.

“Angel is really passionate about this stuff.” Mikhael pointed at his own hair. “They gave me the idea for this. Isn’t it sick?”

“It is.” Basil nodded. He wasn’t sure how he ended up in the conversation.

“Hey, you three!”

Basil, Angel, and Mikhael all snapped their heads up. Kim cackled at the quick movement, whilst Aubrey just shook her head. “Come on, let’s go find a seat while Kel and Sunny order some pizza.”

The five took their spots at the large table while Kel and Sunny decided what pizzas they wanted.

“We should get three pizzas. How about one cheese, one pepperoni, and one that’s half and half?”

Sunny nodded. That sounded fair for everyone.

Banana peppers.

A good point. “Banana peppers.” 

“Oh, you want banana peppers? We can add it to the last one.” Kel nodded.

Sunny walked up to the counter, Kel close behind. Although Sunny was currently on a mission to be as independent and adult as possible, he still needed Kel’s support. But that was okay. He was anxious, but having Kel there next to him made him more confident.

“Hello! What–” The pizza man turns around with a perfect customer service smile. He completely froze mid-sentence. He quickly recovers, pushing up his glasses and returning to normal. “Hope you’re having a good day! What would you like to order?”

Sunny noticed the odd behavior but chalked it up to his appearance. Kel, on the other hand, stiffened, leaning toward Sunny.

“Three pizzas.” Sunny managed. He wanted to speak more. It was hard a lot of the time, especially when it was outside of just talking to Omori or Kel. Aubrey and Basil were okay too, but there was still a weird feeling whenever he tried. Right now he was actively forcing himself to speak, wanting to at least be able to order food for himself and his friends.

You’re doing great.

“Large ones?” The man asked patiently. Sunny nodded. “Alright, what would you like on the first one?”

“Cheese.”

“The second one?”

“Peperoni.”

“Third?”

Sunny made a slicing motion.

“Half and half? Okay, what’s on the left side?”

“Cheese.”

“The right?”

“Pepperoni. Banana pepper.”

“Great. Thank you for your order!” The man then stated the price, and Sunny got the correct amount before handing it over. There was a swell of pride in his chest. He did it! He ordered food for himself and his friends! He was competent! He was capable!

You’ve always been capable.

“You can go sit down and catch up with them. I’ll wait here for the pizza.” Kel smiled, patting Sunny on the back. Sunny nodded. There was a lightness to the way he walked, head straight forward instead of tilted down.

Kel watched him go, seeing him sit next to Angel. Angel started chatting with him, undeterred by Sunny’s nonvocal responses. Mikhael quickly joined, talking with large gestures. Looks like there were still hints of his more theatrical habits.

Kel calmly waited by the counter, a small smile on his face. He was glad their little get-together was going well. While they were eating he would ask more about the martial art. It was made for application in real life situations, so it was perfect for Sunny. Kel might participate too. He’d picked up some things over the past few years, but nothing structured.

The pizza man came back with three boxes and that same service smile, going up to Kel. “Here you go, Hero.”

Kel stiffened.

…

Kel grabbed the boxes, ignoring the man’s horrified look.

“I–I didn’t mean–” He waved his hands rapidly. “We got rid of the sandwich! I know he’s–and–he isn’t–your brother isn’t–” He was stumbling over his words in a panic.

“It’s fine. Just a slip of the tongue, yeah?” Kel smiled. The man let out a huge sigh of relief.

“Right. I’m sorry, Kel. You’re a good guy. Everyone knows you’re nothing like…” The pizza man trailed off, making a slightly strangled expression before retreating to the back.

Kel remained standing in place, eyes blankly staring forward.

He felt hollow.

“Brother…huh?”

Kel glanced down.

“Hah.”

Kel forced his feet to move, turning his head. No one at the table was looking up, so it seems the interaction went unnoticed–

Basil was looking directly at him.

…

Kel approached the table, face still stuck in a smile. “Delivery!”

“Hell yeah!” Angel cheered. Kim hit the back of his head playfully.

“Keep it down. We’re in a restaurant!” Kim scolded, equally loud.

Aubrey helped Kel with the pizzas, sensing something strange. She couldn’t exactly pinpoint it, but something about Kel’s smile was…off.

“Make sure Sunny gets the one with banana peppers!” Kel directed, and Aubrey placed it in front of him. Sunny opened the box, eyes sparkling. Angel cheered next to him, eating the cheese half. Kel walked over, sitting on the other side of Sunny. Basil watched him.

As everyone ate, Angel started to explain the martial art they were interested in.

“Krav Maga is like most other martial arts! There are belts and all of that including a dojo. Basically, Krav Maga focuses on real-world situations and extreme efficiency. Of course, it’s encouraged to avoid physical confrontation, but if that’s impossible or unsafe, we’re taught to finish a fight as quickly and aggressively as possible. We aim at vulnerable points of the body, and we’re not limited to stuff that avoids severe injury!” Angel said so with a big smile.

“Right!” Mikhael started, going off of Angel. “It’s all about effectiveness and instinctive response under stress. It takes all the best stuff from every martial art. Oh, and our training also sometimes covers the development of situational awareness, like identifying potential threats and strengthening mental fortitude.”

“Sounds intense,” Aubrey mumbled, taking another bite. Basil was listening with wide eyes.

“It is! There’s another guy at the dojo who teaches Kali Eskrima, so if you want you can do that and learn to defend against and use weapons. That guy really specializes in knife fighting, but I was never really into that.” Angel once again smiled. It was a bit off-putting considering the topic. “Anyways, I’ve been practicing Krav Maga for about three years now! I’m a blue belt.”

“Angel’s super diligent about it.” Mikhael bragged on behalf of Angel. “I’m still only a yellow belt after two years.”

“That’s cus’ you don’t pay enough attention.” Angel jabbed. Mikhael scrunched up his nose.

“Not everyone can do it as consistently as you.” Mikhael sighed dramatically. “I’m just not as talented or amazing…”

“Oh my god.” Angel threw a piece of pizza at him. Mikhael caught it smugly. Sunny watched the interaction as he held the pizza with two hands, nibbling. It was like a live T.V show. Very entertaining.

“Ignoring that guy, what do you think? Sound like a good fit for you, Sunny?” Angel turned to Sunny. Sunny quickly nodded, eyes sparkling. He was sold already, but hearing that he could learn to use knives sealed the deal.

“Awesome! How about we start going next week? We can go a few times a week if you want.” Angel spoke excitedly, clearly passionate. Sunny nodded.

“I can drive us.” Aubrey piped up. “I want to try it out. I only really do general workouts and bouldering and I’d like to do something more applicable. I bet I’ll be a natural.” Aubrey hummed, gaining a punch in the shoulder from Kim at the cockiness.

“Can I come and learn too…?” Basil said quietly, receiving an enthusiastic nod from Angel in response.

“Of course! You’re really built for it, go the whole lean thing going on. Do you work out?”

“No.” Basil glanced away. “Just do some gardening stuff…” Weirdly evasive.

“Huh. Well, you should definitely come!” Angel gave Basil a double thumbs up.

“I’ll come too.” Kel smiled. “I’ve been meaning to learn a martial art.”

“Awesome!” Angel wobbled in their seat. “My dojo is going to be so happy! There’s been a real decline in people practicing around here, so this will be great!” Angel then stopped suddenly, solemn. “I’ll be right back.” They stood up.

Mikhael watched, shaking his head with a sigh. “This always happens. You’re lactose intolerant, why do you do this to yourself?”

“I am perfectly capable of digesting dairy!” Angel turned their head as they walked, scowling. Because they were looking back, they didn’t see someone about to run into them.

Unceremoniously, Angel bumped into a taller woman, who dropped her box. Angel quickly caught it, reflexes fast. “Sorry, ma’am. I wasn’t looking.” Angel moved to hand it back.

“Are you blind!?” The lady scowled. “Watch where you’re going!”

“Hey!” Mikhael stood up, storming over. “Don’t yell at my friend!”

“Oh my god…” Kim groaned, rolling her head back. “Not again.”

Basil and Sunny both blinked owlishly. Kel rose a brow. “Not again?”

“Mikhael’s a bit of a hothead.” Kim waved her hand, keeping an eye on the confrontation. Angel was now holding Mikhael back from punching the woman. “He gets very defensive of his friends.”

Aubrey watched, fond yet exasperated. “Angel looks really used to restraining him.”

“It happens a lot.” Kim put her head in her hands after seeing Mikhael toss the woman’s pizza aside. “Ugh…”

“Hey! You three! Knock it off!” The pizza man shouted at the three.

“Looks like we’re going to have to leave soon. Everyone done with their food?” Kim eyed the table, seeing all the boxes cleared. “Yup, looks like we’re good. Alright, I’ll go grab the idiots.” Kim shot up, stomping over to her friends.

Aubrey chuckled, stacking the boxes and moving to toss them away.

Sunny sat in his chair, watching the scene.

They’re funny.

They really are.

Are you excited about the dojo?

Sunny was super excited. He couldn’t wait. He wanted to feel strong–or at least capable enough to escape a situation if need be.

“You ready to go?”

Sunny glanced up. Kel looked down at him with an amused smile. Sunny glanced past him, seeing Kim pulling on Mikhael and Angel’s ears. Sunny stood up.

“We can go back home. You wanted to watch Shrek, right?”

Sunny nodded with a slight smile.

“It’s a good movie. I think you’ll like it.” Kel ruffled his hair, laughing when Sunny swatted at him.

“I don’t think I’ve seen that,” Basil mumbled.

“Good thing you’re invited.” Kel walked past Basil, smacking him on the back in passing. Basil stumbled, but did it a split second after Kel hit him. Kel’s brows furrowed, but he didn’t mention it.

The three went outside, soon followed by the rest of the group. Angel looked on as Mikhael was scolded by Kim. Kim eventually stopped. “Don’t do it again.” She said, knowing quite well it was definitely going to happen again.

“Thanks for hanging out, guys.” Aubrey smiled at them all once Kim was done, receiving wide grins in return.

“Of course! I’m always waitin’ for you to call me, you know.” Kim said softly. Aubrey’s expression fell for a moment, before returning to a genuine smile.

“I know.” Aubrey smiled. “I know…” The two looked at each other, communicating something inaudible.

“Us too! We always like hanging out!” Angel dragged Mikhael over. “I’m excited to see you more often! Going to the dojo is going to be so much fun!”

Sunny watched them all interact with Aubrey, once again getting hit by a strange emotion.

Everyone really had changed.

Mikhael was no longer The Maverick. Angel wasn’t his lackey. Kim wasn’t a brute or a bully. Aubrey was no longer bursting with anger. The four of them were adults. The four of them matured.

Everyone grew up together, finishing high school, graduating…

Sunny looked down at his hands.

All the steps taken to grow…to learn and have an expanded worldview…

It’s never too late.

Sunny clenched his hands, feeling a hand on his shoulder.

“You alright?” Kel said quietly, so only Sunny could hear.

He was. He was okay. This was just his reality. The fun years he could have had growing up with his friends, the embarrassing moments, the weird phases, the angst that all teens had, the photos and memories…

Nine years.

Four by choice, five by force.

Both…were not what he intended.

…

Mari…

…

“Kel.”

Sunny stared forward, the gentle notes of a piano playing in his mind.

“Yeah?”

He knew he couldn’t keep this happiness forever–he knew that the cracks in that lightbulb were spreading, but–

“Thank you.”

He wanted to ignorantly enjoy the present for as long as he could.

****

It was the end of the time for hanging out once again. Sunny had gone upstairs shortly after the movie ended, Kel promising to join him shortly. Aubrey already left to walk home to Basil’s, telling him to hurry up. Basil slipped his shoes on, hopping a little as he did so. He gave a brief wave to Kel, turning to leave.

“I wonder about you.”

Basil paused, turning his head slowly. Kel stood behind him. For a moment, Basil could distinctly perceive their difference in height. Kel’s head was tilted down to face him, which…wasn’t an issue. All he was doing was making eye contact. Looking down.

“What do you mean?” Basil swallowed.

“Just these past few days. We’ve all been hanging out a lot, ya’ know? And you seem okay.” Kel’s hands were in his pockets. His voice was even, shoulders relaxed. “We’ve been to the mall, we’ve been out to eat, we’ve gone on picnics, we’ve gone to the arcade…” Kel smiled softly. “And Sunny’s been happy. We’re all happy.”

“Right…” Basil didn’t really know where Kel was going with this.

“I just wanted to know what’s up.” Kel smiled. Maybe. “From everything I know, from everything Aubrey’s told me…I didn’t expect you to be this okay.” Audible quote marks around the last word. Basil’s brows furrowed.

“Is that a bad thing?” His voice wavered.

“No. Of course not! I’m really happy. All of us together again, just like old times…” Kel trailed off, voice quieting. He frowned. “I missed it. I think we all did. Everyday’s kind of unreal, you know?”

“I feel the same way.” Basil felt the unease fade. So that’s what this was about. “Honestly, every day is like a dream. No matter how convinced I was things would eventually return to normal, as the years went by, I…really desperately clung to that hope. Without it–” Basil snapped his mouth shut. He slumped. “Aubrey…really helped keep me safe.”

“By enabling you, right?”

“…What?” 

A cold chill.

“I know something’s off with you.” Kel tilted his head. “You’re my friend, Basil. I may have been gone for a good few years, and I may be a lot more…focused than before–” Kel’s gaze flickered, conveying something Basil couldn’t identify. “–but I have eyes. And I know Aubrey and you aren’t telling me everything.”

“What are you talking about?” Basil’s stomach churned. He felt nauseous. Anxiety was rising, but he couldn’t let it cloud his judgment. Shut it down. Bunch it up. Basil discreetly took deep breaths. “What do you think we haven’t told you?”

“You haven’t changed at all, have you?”

Sick. He felt sick. Basil’s eyes widened without permission.

“No…you don’t want to change, do you?”

Basil did everything in his power to control his body, not allowing himself to step back–not giving in to the desire to flee. If he did then that would confirm Kel’s beliefs. He couldn’t have that happen. “I–I do! That’s why I changed my look!”

“You only did that because Sunny told you to.” 

Basil clenched his teeth. “And? Does my appearance matter that much?”

“No, not to me at least. But your head does.” Kel removed a hand from his pocket, lifting it. He flicked Basil’s forehead. Hard. Basil blinked rapidly, not expecting the sudden action. He shrunk back, covering the sore spot with his hands.

“Hey!” Basil yelped, the image of pathetic. He hunched into himself, eyes watery and sad.

Kel burst into laughter.

Basil stiffened, watching Kel try to muffle the sound. It took a while for Kel to calm down, an amused sigh following the fit. The moment he stopped laughing, Kel rolled his eyes. “Knock it off. That’s not going to work on me.”

“Huh?”

“Just because you try to look small and pathetic doesn’t mean you actually are.” Kel huffed. “I’ve literally seen you lift up multiple large bags of fertilizer. I saw you pause before stumbling at Gino’s today. You’re not weak. Stop trying to be. It might work on Aubrey, but it’s not going to work on me.”

“N–No, I–” Basil’s eyes darted around.

“Just stop.” Kel’s amusement faded. “I’m tired. Let’s just be honest with each other, okay? We’re friends…” He then leaned in close, voice low. “But if you aren’t honest with me, I’m going to kick you out and keep you out.”

“What?” Basil stiffened, crocodile tears dripping from his intense gaze.

“You think I won’t? Basil, I care about you. But I care about all my friends. I care about Sunny. If it’s best for you two to be apart, I’ll make it happen. I want all of us to be happy and if it can’t happen with everyone together, then so be it. I need to be able to trust you, Basil. And that means you need to drop the act, at least around me.”

“I…”

Basil tasted metal.

“You…you’ve got it all wrong…”

His lips curled back in a grimace, and soon, his crying completely ceased. His shoulders remained slumped as he sighed deeply. There was an eeriness to the way his mouth quirked up, self-mocking.

“I am pathetic.”

Kel pursed his lips in a thin smile. “You’re less pathetic than you think if you can admit it.”

“I’m not sure that’s how it works.” Basil straightened up more. “So what’s the point of this?” He got right to it. He felt uneasy. Kel was intimidating.

“I just want to make sure you won’t trigger Sunny. I think you can understand why. You…already kind of did at that first reunion.” Kel snorted, but it was bitter. “I don’t know. I guess just because of the little things I hear from Aubrey, and how you acted that summer five years ago…”

“You don’t want me to fuck this up.”

“Bingo.”

“Haaaah…” Basil rolled his head back. “I get it, but I’m keeping it all under control, okay? I care about Sunny a lot–” Kel snorted. “–and the last thing I want to do is upset him in any way. I want him to be happy. I want to protect him too, just like you and Aubrey.”

“I know.” Kel’s gaze softened. “And I’m not saying you can’t. All of us need to be there for Sunny. He needs every bit of support he can get. He hasn’t been as nervous lately and I think that’s thanks to our efforts. Even Sally has been making a difference.”

“So…” Basil’s brows furrowed. “What’s the problem, then?”

“What would you do if you saw Hero?”

Silence.

Basil stiffened completely, pupils constricting. His mouth formed a furious grimace. Then, every emotional indication disappeared. Basil returned to normal. It happened so quickly Kel almost missed it.

“Basil…” Kel scrunched up his nose. “You can’t suppress stuff like that. It’s going to screw you up.”

“Oh?” Basil huffed a laugh, defensive. “That’s hilarious coming from you.”

Now it was Kel’s turn to be confused. “What?”

“Just like how you watch me, I watch you,” Basil said. “When the Gino’s receptionist accidentally called you Hero, you zoned out completely.”

“It’s just a slip of the tongue. It’s obvious it’ll happen.” Kel’s voice didn’t even waver, completely confident in his words.

“It’s happened before, hasn’t it? A Freudian slip…it’s more than just an accident. You know the psychology behind it–”

“Basil.” Kel interrupted. “What’s your point?”

“What would you do if you saw Hero?”

Silence once again.

Kel hung his head.

“You can’t answer that question either, can you?”

“…No.” Kel grit his teeth. “Not completely. But I at least know I have more self-control than you do. I’m stable. I don’t have the same capacity to hurt that you do. You literally tried to kill Hero five years ago. You stabbed Sunny’s eye out. You–” Kel closed his mouth, met with Basil’s hurt gaze.

Basil’s hands shook as he clenched them. He couldn’t respond.

“I’m sorry.” Kel quickly said, placing a hand on Basil’s arm. “Look, I…didn’t mean it like that. I’m just…” Shoulders slumped. “I’m just tired.”

Basil remained quiet. Then, he lifted his head, eyes glistening. “When…” He whispered. “When was the last time you rested?”

“Just last night?” Kel tilted his head.

“No. I mean…when was the last time you just…worried about nothing. At all. Not even at the back of your mind. When was the last time you weren’t on alert?”

“Well, when we were at the…” No, at the picnic he had been alert. “The mall…?” Not there either, he was constantly looking around and watching strangers. “Gino’s?” The slip. Always checking his peripheral. “Arcade…” On watch the whole time.

Kel shook his head. “I sleep easily. I relax with all of you guys. I’m fine. I rest plenty.”

Basil stared at him for a while, searching. He smiled. It was miserable. “I guess I’d be a hypocrite if I disagreed.”

Kel smiled back. “A hypocrite, huh?” Kel mumbled. He glanced behind himself toward the hallway. “…I should head up. Be safe on the walk home.”

“Okay.” Basil didn’t hesitate to exit, uncaring if it was abrupt. The atmosphere was rigid.

They both have and will continue to watch each other, waiting for the inevitable screw-up. Waiting for the other to collapse under the rising stress–under the rising paranoia with each day that went by without sight of that insidious bastard.

In the end it was a pointless conversation.

Because neither could give up the pretense of stability.

And as time kept moving, as the days passed, as the weeks passed, as everyone continued to move forward to that brighter future…

Numerous shadows were being dragged behind them.

Waiting to be confronted.

****

Once again, strangely, Aubrey was reminded of something.

Angel was having a bad day, and eyes were all on them. Angel was expected to spar with Sunny yet do no harm. The slight difference in height, the big difference in strength…all kind of made that difficult. Especially when they couldn’t go too easy or Sunny would get mad.

So there was a lot Angel was trying to do at once while frustrated from the happenings of before this–they had an awful morning.

Aubrey watched, saw Sunny almost trip over his own feet as he attempted an easy jab. Angel always made sure to back away and let him recover.

This was the first time Sunny had been allowed to spar with a person, and Angel was the shortest out of all of them and also the most skilled, which made them the best one to work with Sunny. They were happy to help–they really liked Sunny. But the eyes burning holes in their skull probably wasn’t helpful.

Kel and Basil were practicing with each other, yet still very clearly keeping an eye on what was happening with Sunny. Aubrey sighed, knowing she was doing the same. It couldn’t be helped. They all were wary of any possible triggers Sunny could have. What if a certain amount of physical force caused Sunny to have a flashback? They couldn’t have that. But they also didn’t want to restrict him.

And so it was like this. Everyone on edge. Mikhael had been pointing Basil and Kel’s behavior out under his breath–practically inaudible. Aubrey always glared and he’d back down. But still. Building tension in everyone. Angel had to focus but everything on their mind made it difficult.

So when Sunny landed a surprisingly solid hit, Angel struck back instinctively. They had been zoned out. Their eyes snapped open wide the moment Sunny hit the ground with a yelp. Angel quickly crouched down.

“You good?” Angel wasn’t frantic, but was definitely nervous about the screwup. They grew even more nervous seeing how afraid Sunny seemed, his eyes clouding over. But, the fogginess cleared, and Sunny was back to himself. Angel was relieved. Sunny barely was able to nod in response before he disappeared from Angel’s line of sight.

“Are you okay?” Kel picked Sunny up, holding him for a moment before gently setting him on his feet. He checked Sunny for injury, letting out a sigh of relief. Then, his eyes snapped to Angel. “The hell was that!?”

Angel recoiled, hopping to their feet. “Huh? I just got lost in thought. I didn’t hurt him–” No matter how zoned out they were, Angel was still in a sparing area. They didn’t have the intent to harm.

“If you can’t do it right then just don’t do it at all!” Kel snarled, shoving Angel back. Angel barely caught themself, expression twisted in hurt. Everyone collectively turned to the scene.

Aubrey stepped forward, brows drawn together. She was confused, mouth opening to call out to her friend. She didn’t understand his anger. This wasn’t like him at all.

The unreasonable nature of Kel’s outburst was cemented by Basil’s similarly confused expression. He approached Kel, moving to put his hand on his shoulder. “It’s fine, Angel didn’t hurt Sunny–”

“But he scared him!” Kel gestured to Sunny, who in all honestly looked more worried for Kel than himself. “What if Sunny got triggered!? Then what!?”

Anger was a strange look on Kel. Aubrey drew even closer, somehow finding everything so unsettlingly familiar.

Burying fear within anger…a festering flame warming a heart that was freezing from terror…

Was Kel doing the same? But she hadn’t seen this rage before. She hadn’t seen it once. 

Aubrey felt cold.

Just because she didn’t see it…doesn’t mean it wasn’t there. 

Hadn’t she learned?

The feeling in her chest…the familiarity…

Hadn’t she learned from last time?

“But he didn’t.” Basil seemed unsure of himself, probably not used to being the one comforting others. “Sunny’s fine, see? It was a minor–”

Kel smacked Basil’s outstretched hand, stepping back. He moved one arm up protectively in front of Sunny, expression distorted. “Why are you acting like it’s okay!? Angel fucking hurt him!”

“Hey! Stop talking about him like that!” Mikhael snapped back, storming forward and going to Angel’s side. “Angel didn’t do anything! Sunny’s fine! Stop being dramatic!”

Aubrey had a premonition.

Her eyes met Basil’s. Somehow, they both shared a similar dread. Kel’s out-of-character actions…

Something terrible was about to happen.

“Kel–” Basil approached his friend.

“Mikhael–” Aubrey approached her friend.

“You just don’t get it! None of you do! None of you know what I know! None of you have seen what I’ve seen!” Kel’s voice was raising, becoming so consumed by emotion that he didn’t see the way Sunny backed away from him. “I’m not being dramatic! I saw Sunny’s fear when he fell. You can’t tell me I didn’t!”

Angel faltered while Mikhael just stepped forward, pushing past Aubrey. Kel followed the motion, shoving Basil aside. Kel looked down on Mikhael, body tense.

“If you two fight I’m going to fucking–” Aubrey spoke through gritted teeth, moving to separate the two.

“You have no right to talk to Angel like that–to talk to any of us like that! Nothing happened, alright!? If Sunny got a little startled from a fall it’s no big deal! He’s tough as shit! Have you seen him? Little things can’t shake him!” Mikhael moved his arm in the direction of Sunny. Kel gripped onto it. Tightly.

“You don’t know anything. He’s strong–of course he is! He’s the strongest person I know. But that doesn’t mean he can’t be hurt! That doesn’t mean this doesn’t affect him! I promised Sunny this would be safe and he wouldn’t get hurt! I promised I would protect him! But this happened. I trusted Angel and he just screwed everything up!”

Mikhael heard the slights against his closest person, felt the threat of Kel digging his fingers into his arms, saw the way people stared at them, felt overwhelming anxiety from the way Kel was glaring down at him, felt that brain clouding anger, heard a certain word–

“HAH!” Mikhael threw his head back. “Protect, huh?”

Mikhael looked at Kel through narrowed eyes, mouth stretching into a malicious grin.

“I guess the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

…

For a few seconds, everything was calm.

Everything was quiet and peaceful.

…

The blood drained from Kel’s face.

...

He started to shake.

...

Tears welled in his widened eyes.

...

He let go of Mikhael’s arm, stumbling back in horror. 

Mikhael’s smile disappeared, the realization of what he said setting in. The expression of horror was matched.

“W–Wait, Kel–” Mikhael reached out, but Kel already turned away.

Kel fled the room, stumbling as he went. He looked unsteady as he ran, appearing ready to collapse at any moment. Sunny watched him go, the expression of pure fear on Kel’s face imprinting itself on his mind.

It was a tense moment of silence after Kel left. Nobody wanted to speak. Nobody could believe how quickly it had all happened.

And then–

“MIKHAEL!” Aubrey roared, rearing her arm back and socking him directly in the face. For a moment, she appeared just like her older self, eyes blazing with uncontained fire. Her whole body lurched forward, standing over Mikhael.

“Aubrey–” Basil gripped her shoulder, knuckles white. “Aubrey, don’t.”

“How could you say that to him!?” Aubrey cried, gripping the fabric near her heart. “He was being unreasonable, but you know the amount of stress he’s under! He’s been on alert for five goddamn years! You can’t expect him to be in top shape all of the time! He’s going to have his off moments!”

Aubrey breathed heavily, visibly trying to calm herself down. Angel moved to Mikhael’s side, guilt pulling their lips into a frown. “You…probably shouldn’t have said that–”

“Your fucking right he shouldn’t have! How could you even say such a thing!? How could you compare him to that fucking monster! Kel was the one who saved Sunny–he did it all on his own!” Aubrey aggressively wiped any stray tears. “Once Kel calmed down he would’ve apologized! Why couldn’t you have waited!? Why did you–I just don’t get it! What possessed you to say something so awful!?”

“I…I…” Mikhael had no response. He didn’t know why. He had no clue why he felt he could say such a thing. Kel was being unreasonable and rude, but it wasn’t that bad. Kel saw Sunny was afraid and naturally defended him. It was overboard, but what does Mikhael know? He just got so angry and defensive on Angel’s behalf that he lost his common sense.

“You’re the worst.” Aubrey choked on a sob. She kicked the ground. “Why am I crying!? Agh!” She moved to hit Mikhael again but was held back. Basil kept a firm grip on her, knowing she would regret hurting her friends later. Her reaction may seem extreme, but the past few weeks had been so taxing. All of them were coping with the truth. No one had completely comprehended reality.

And while they were all occupied…

Sunny ran after Kel.

He ran, ran as the cracks in his mind spread further and further.

Ran parallel to his fear.

****

How ironic that it started to storm.

Sunny held his arms as he ran through the park, shivering more than he’d like. It didn’t rain all too often in Faraway, and it always seemed to happen only at the worst of times.

It had been a nightmare getting back home. The dojo was downtown and Aubrey had been the one to drive them. After running around aimlessly searching, Sunny managed to think a little more clearly, boarding a bus and making his way home.

The moment he made it back to Faraway he ran as fast as he could. And that’s when it started to rain.

At least his tunnel vision overrode any anxiety he’d have felt from wandering the city alone. It was especially nerve-wracking in hindsight, considering Omori had been silent. Why was he so silent? Was something wrong?

It didn’t matter. Kel was the focus.

Sunny was lucky he was right to check the old hang–out spot. Kel must have thought no one would think to check there. Sunny quickly moved through the trees, face red from exertion. The one good thing the rain did was cool him off.

When Sunny made it through the leaves, he saw Kel. 

Kel’s hair was down, tangled and a mess. He looked…muddy, somehow. Did he fall while running? Had he run all the way home? Sunny rushed closer, unable to forget the expression he saw on Kel’s face.

Kel stood still at the edge of the dock, fists clenched.

Sunny approached his friend. “Kel…?” He spoke tentatively.

Kel turned.

Sunny stopped.

“I should have killed him.”

Kel’s eyes were hollow.

“I could have stopped this. I could have ended this. If not five years ago, then at least when I found him. I should have killed him and then saved you, that way everything would be fixed. He wouldn’t exist anymore. No one would remember him.”

Sunny forced past his uneasiness, continuing to walk forward.

Kel turned to face Sunny fully, the rain preventing Sunny from knowing whether he was crying or not. It was like all emotion was drained from Kel, his whole being appearing like a blank slate, voice monotone.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t find you faster. I’m sorry I waited two years before searching. I’m sorry I didn’t kill him. I’m sorry I’m a bad friend. I’m sorry I…can’t do anything for you…” Kel hiccupped, his eyes momentarily squinting. “I’m sorry I’m not strong enough…I’m sorry I’m so weak. I’m sorry I’m terrified. I’m…sorry I’m angry.”

Sunny drew closer, every part of him wanting Kel to be away from the lake. He wanted Kel back on the grass–away from the water. He wanted Kel safe.

“For those first two years, I…I smiled a lot. I pretended to be okay and happy. I had to. If I showed anything was wrong, my parents…would try and deter me. They would get in the way.” Kel’s complete neutrality unnerved Sunny. Sunny wondered if this was how people felt when they talked to him. The stoicism was discomforting.

“Everyone thought I was fine. I just smiled and smiled, presenting myself as that same happy and stupid kid I’ve always been. I got through those years. I graduated.” Sunny waited for Kel to emote at all. “And then I went to find you. I didn’t tell my parents. I only told Aubrey and Basil. I gave Aubrey a phone to contact me with and left.” There was nothing.

Sunny hadn’t heard this before. Sure, he knew Kel had been looking for him–Kel saved him. But he never thought about what that really meant. He never stopped to think much at all. It was always too painful.

“I traveled. I stayed at motels, I crashed at random people’s places, I did random odd jobs for cash…” Kel said, continuing to stare at Sunny. “I was looking for even the slightest sign of you. It took me almost three years to actually pinpoint your location. I spent months preparing to safely retrieve you. I had a solid plan. And in that plan was an important step–calling the police the moment I had you.”

Sunny trembled, and he wasn’t quite sure whether it was just from the cold anymore. He took another step forward.

“I didn’t call. I was too distracted. You…weren’t waking up. And I was in that room…the one you stayed in. It was horrifying.” Kel’s voice finally gained some semblance of emotion. “I often had nightmares about not making it in time. That anxiety motivated me in a way. The knowledge that something horrible was probably happening to you kept me focused. I wanted to prevent my nightmares from being true. I wanted to circumvent those awful worries.”

Sunny stood directly in front of Kel. Despite the weather, he could hear Kel’s voice clearly. Each word pained him deeply. It wasn’t so much that he believed this was all his fault–part of it was, of course, but…

“And yet when the time came…I screwed up. I fumbled. And now that monster is out there, searching for you.” Kel lowered his head further. “I should have killed him. There would be no problem with it. It’s not like he’s my brother.”

Sunny tensed. He reached out a shaking hand, the words echoing in his mind.

“My brother died five years ago,” Kel said, his eyes narrowing. “Hero died the moment he took you away from us–from life itself. The day before it happened he was happy. He acted like his old self. I thought my big brother was back. I was so hopeful. I was more hopeful than I’d ever been in my life. I thought that despite everything, things would be okay. Hero would be himself again, even if it took time. My positive outlook–my optimism–it all proved true.”

Thunder rumbled in the sky.

“And then…he was gone.” Kel’s voice quieted, falling into a whisper. “And then you were gone.”

Kel looked up.

“So it doesn’t matter. We may call that bastard Hero, but he’s not my brother. He’s not someone I care about–he’s not someone any of us should care about. I’ve long grieved the death of my brother. I just…wish…” Kel hiccupped, the calm façade crumbling. “I just wish I got to say goodbye.”

The moment a sob broke through, Kel clenched his jaw, unwilling. He grimaced, sniffing and pretending the tears flowing from his eyes were just the rain. “My brother is dead. The person I looked up to, the person I loved…he’s dead. The person everyone sees when they look at me…is dead.” He reaffirmed to himself. There was a desperate edge to his voice.

“So I’m going to kill him.” Kel’s grimace lifted into an ugly smile. His eyes curved, red from tears. “And then we can be happy. Then everyone will stop thinking of him when they look at me. Then my brother can finally rest in peace.” A broken, unfiltered laugh. Hacking. “My goal was always to avoid my nightmares becoming reality. So much for that, huh?”

Sunny merely stood, listening and crying. Waiting for when he felt he could comfort his friend–trying to figure out how to comfort his friend. What could he say to make Kel feel better? What could he do?

“I know I don’t even know the half of it. All I’ve got are assumptions. But there’s one thing I at least know for sure.” Kel grit his teeth. “He hurt you. He hurt you so fucking badly.” Kel boldly gestured to Sunny’s stomach, choking on a sob. “I was already too late. I let him hurt you. I didn’t save you.” Kel jerked his head to the side, trying to hide his expression.

Sunny needed to comfort him. Sunny saw his closest person suffering. He didn’t know what to do, and yet on instinct he opened his mouth–

“No…” Sunny murmured. Kel looked back at Sunny, brows twisting. Sunny put on his most comforting expression, using his softest tone. “You…weren’t late. He didn’t hurt me.”

“But I saw it, Sunny. I saw the marks. I saw your scars.” Kel shook his head. “You don’t have to lie to–”

“It’s okay.” Sunny did his best to smile. “He didn’t hurt me.”

Kel leveled Sunny with a blank stare, lost. Sunny naturally responded.

“I did it to myself.”

…

He was completely at peace. The answer had come so easily. It was the honest truth.

…

But…

…

“You…” Kel stared on in disbelief. Heartbreak.

Sunny’s expression twisted.

He…

…

Did it to himself…?

…

Sunny looked up at Kel.

“Oh.”

His pupils dilated.

His hands trailed over his stomach.

Whispers echoed in his mind.

Shattering.

“Sunny?” Kel reached forward.

His mind went white.

…

Everything came back to him all at once, anticlimactic and sudden.

“Sunny!”

His eyes rolled up.

“Sunny!?”

Lucidity faded.

“SUNNY!”

He was gone, the terrified calls of his friend fading out.

…

He was gone, sent directly back to where that memory began.

****

“What time is it?”

“Look at the clock, see for yourself.”

Keith smiled.

Hero didn’t.

…

There are no second chances.

…

“Do you want to watch a movie?” 

“What movie?”

“Dunno, just one I found.”

“Sure.”

…

Aren’t you tired of the same thing over and over?

…

“You know, I think things could have been different for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“There are different choices you could have made.”

“Keith. What are you talking about?”

“Like if you took Sunny away earlier, then things wouldn’t have been like this, right?”

“Ha...maybe you’re right. But I think things would have always turned out this way.”

…

Do you think you can blame fate?

…

“Hey, Hero…what is happiness to you?”

“That’s a weird question.”

“Come on, I’m curious!”

“Alright. Happiness is…”

…

It isn’t this.

…

“Did you bring the fuel?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“…Oh. That’s fine! You can just stay for an extra day.”

…

No matter what you change, it will always be the same.

…

“Are you okay, Hero?’

“Yes.”

“No…I don’t think so. I always know when you’re feeling off. You did this in college too, never complained, never protested, always just smiled. You bottle everything up. But that’s why I’m here! You’re best friend is always here to listen and ease your burden.”

“Right…thank you.”

“It’s not healthy to keep it all in. It’s not healthy to repress or to forget.”

“I know.”

…

It will always be the same because you will never change.

…

“Maybe life could have been different for you, Hero. Maybe none of this needed to happen. Maybe the actions you took were too extreme. You’ve cornered yourself, haven’t you?”

“I know what I’m doing. I have everything under control.”

“But you don’t. Nobody does. That’s why you need people to support you. I’m here for you, Hero. You can talk to me about it all. You don’t have to pretend around me. I know you’re not okay.”

“It’s going to be fine. Everything will be good once things go back to how they should.”

…

You had your five years.

…

“Do you ever feel regret?”

“There’s no point in regret. It’s not like I can go back and change anything. It’s better to focus on the present and future.”

“Do you ever feel guilt?”

“For what?”

“For everything.”

“Why would I, when I haven’t done anything wrong?”

…

That’s all you can ever really believe.

…

“Your hands are red, Hero.”

“They are.”

“You look like you’re in pain.”

“I am.”

“Can I help you?’

“I’m starting to think you can’t.”

…

You keep begging for a little more time.

…

“You feel things deeply and strongly. It’s not a bad thing, you’re just passionate. You care about people. You want everyone to be happy. You’re selfless. You desire to be a good person.”

“How are you so confident?”

“Because we’re friends. And I would never choose my friends wrong, Hero.”

…

But that’s not how this works, and you know that.

…

“It feels like this day has gone on for a long time. Do you feel the same?”

“I do.”

“Maybe we should go to bed early, so the next day can come?”

“Okay.”

…

It’s not a dream you can wake up from.

…

“Are you happy here?”

“I was.”

“Do you care about me?”

“I do.”

“Am I your best friend?”

“You are.”

“Then why did you kill me?”

“I didn’t.”

“Hero…it’s okay. You know I’m here to listen. It’ll be good to talk it out. Don’t you need to go through the five stages of grief? Come on, don’t get stuck on denial again. You’re better than that.”

“I don’t need to grieve.”

…

There is nothing left for you here.

…

“Let’s talk about it. We’ve already reminisced about the past, going over every pleasant memory we’ve had. Our friendship was worth so much. You have to grieve it when it ends. You have to grieve for me when I end.”

“But you aren’t dead.”

“Hero, aren’t you afraid of bugs?”

“What?”

“I’m surprised you’re so okay with being surrounded by them considering your fear. Maybe you’ve conquered it?”

“I haven’t.”

“Then you just don’t see them?”

“I don’t.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll start to feel them.”

…

It’s finally time.

…

“We could have been happy.”

“I know.”

“You could have been happy.”

“I know.”

“You shouldn’t have killed Sunny’s mom.”

“I know.”

“You shouldn’t have hurt Kel.”

“I know.”

“You shouldn’t have run away.”

“I know.”

“You shouldn’t have taken Sunny.”

“I know.”

“You shouldn’t have kept him locked away.”

“I know.”

“Mari would hate you.”

“I know.”

“She never wanted you to do this.”

“I know.”

“So why did you do it?”

“Because I thought I was supposed to.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“I did.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Then why did I do it?”

“Because you’re selfish.”

“That can’t be right.”

“You lose control of yourself.”

“It’s not my fault!”

“You chose not to get better.”

“It was too hard!”

“If only you recognized you were wrong, then you could have changed.”

“It was impossible!”

“You convinced yourself it was, but you’ve always known, haven’t you?”

“No!”

“You’ve always known you could have stopped at any time, but you chose to sink deeper and deeper.”

“It can’t be helped.”

“You blame everyone and everything for your mistakes.”

“I can’t be blamed, I was suffering.”

“But so was Sunny, and he did no wrong.”

“Which is why I have to protect him.”

“No, it’s always been about you. It’s your wrongful beliefs, your corrupted ideological codes. You caused all of this.”

“I didn’t mean any harm.”

“And yet you’ve harmed everyone.”

“No.”

“You killed me, Hero.”

“No.”

“There’s no reason you can put to my death. You got emotional. You weren’t thinking straight. And so you shot me. You killed me.”

“No!”

“And you can’t find any reason to justify my death like you could Sunny’s mother. You can’t justify this like you could justify all of your other horrible actions. My death was pointless.”

“No!”

“You’ve known all along that you were horrible–that you never deserved the happiness you stole. You had one chance to change your path, but you chose to run away instead. You brought Sunny down with you.”

“NO!”

“You’re sick.”

“Stop it!”

“You can’t do it, can you? You can’t let yourself believe that there could have been another life for you. You can’t let yourself feel regret or guilt, because what then? Everything is built on you being a good person and fulfilling the promise from someone you love.”

“STOP IT!”

“It’s only you here. It’s only been you here for a long time.”

“Please…”

“You cared about Keith. You killed Keith. You have nothing left. You’re not worth anything. You brought yourself this low, yet blame the world for the pit you dug. At each possible turn you went the wrong way by choice. And now it’s over.”

“Please don’t…please…”

“You still have one thing you can do to have a semblance of relief. If you turn yourself in, if you atone, then you still know you have good in you, deep down.  You can still do the right thing, you can choose the right path. This one last time, you can be good.”

“I…I…”

“It’s time, Hero.”

Hero held his head in his bleeding hands.

His arms and hands, completely raw.

There was nothing more for him to scratch.

There was nothing more for him to suppress under his skin.

“I…didn’t have to be this way…”

Hero trembled.

“This didn’t have to happen…”

He could barely breathe.

“I could have been happy if I changed.”

Crying.

“Everyone could have been happy together.”

Sobbing.

“It didn’t have to end this way…”

Hero’s hands were red.

“I’m no good…I’m selfish…that promise…”

Hero curled into himself.

“Mari…I’m so sorry…”

…

He uncurled.

“I’m so, so sorry. Mari, my soulmate...”

His hands fell from his face.

“It’s all my fault, I’ve ruined everything, I’m in the wrong, I’m horrible…!”

Hero threw his head back.

“I’m awful!”

He laughed.

“I’m a terrible person!”

He laughed hysterically.

“I’m irredeemable!”

His whole body shuddered.

“I’m a monster!”

He smiled wide.

“There’s nothing left for me here!”

Choking on air.

“So what’s it matter then!? Why should I do the right thing!?”

Staring up at nothing.

“I still want to be happy, is that so wrong!?”

He got to his feet.

“I was a fool to believe I could be close to anyone else.”

He stumbled toward the body.

“Anyone I touch is ruined. Everything I’m near breaks.”

He loomed over it, leaning down.

“But I’ve had happiness before…”

He lifted Keith’s cold hand, ignoring the crawling on his skin.

“I can get it again.”

He took off Keith’s favorite ring.

“I don’t need anyone else. Nobody else needs me.”

He put it on.

“Keith, my best friend…”

Tear tracks stained his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry it had to end this way. You know I never meant to hurt you, but it seems there’s only one path for me. Thank you for showing me the way. Thank you for showing me who I am.”

Sobbing, laughing…

Hero chose his path.

“I’m so sorry, Mari…”

He knows she wouldn’t have wanted this.

“But…you loved me, right?”

Hero saw a shadow in the corner of his vision–saw the silhouette.

“So you would want me to be happy.”

She died and left him behind, so she couldn't say otherwise.

“I’ve already taken so much…”

Hero tasted his own tears.

“What’s a little more?”

With an emboldened hand, Hero will grasp onto his happiness.

You’ve made your choice.

“It was always going to be this way.” Hero approached the apparition.

If that’s what you've decided, I can't convince you otherwise.

Hero reached out, but the moment he touched the shadow, it disappeared. He clenched his fist tightly, ignoring how badly it hurt to do so.

“I’m going to be happy.”

Hero took a shuddering breath.

“Once I find him, I’ll be happy.”

The awful emotions swirling in his chest…he accepted them.

“I’ll be smart.”

He accepted everything that he was, he accepted that he'd never let go.

“I won’t screw this up.”

He finally stopped itching.

“This time, I’ll make sure my happiness will last forever.”

…

This time…

…

He’ll make sure his happiness could never be taken away from him again.

…

It may take a while to prepare, but…

…

“Just wait for me, Sunny…”

Hero smiled.

“I’ll be there soon.”

Chapter Text

Sunny woke up.

…

Strange.

He felt strange.

Sunny sat up, looking around his room. It felt unfamiliar…no, it was unfamiliar. It was definitely his room, but it was…filled. There was a lot more stuff than he remembered having before. Stuffed animals were all over his bed, and his covers were reminiscent of more…nostalgic times.

With shaking hands, he lifted himself out of bed. His legs trembled. Moving was hard. Tiring. His hand moved, as if on its own, grabbing a nearby eye patch and putting it on. A habit. Sunny glanced at it briefly, noting just how soft it really was. The design on it was…cute, maybe. It was a drawn-on blob of sorts.

Sunny ran his finger over the patch, proud.

…Right, he made it. He drew on it. In the drawers by his bed were many of these patches. He got to draw on them often. Hero got him a set of markers just for doing that.

S–n–y?

Muffled voice. Sunny was a bit preoccupied. He was exploring his own room.

Boxes…toy boxes. He could spy some coloring books, crayons, comic books…

Sunny?

Those were just regular toys…dolls? That one looked like a slinky…

Sunny, are you there?

There were pretty pictures on the walls, it looks like paint…did he paint with Hero? No, paint fumes were bad…it was stickers and framed puzzles. How nice. Ah, and there was a bunch of unused stickers not too far away. And sketchbooks.

Sunny, please, is that you?

What a…lovely room.

Sunny.

He liked his room.

It has to be you.

Hm.

Sunny, why won’t you respond?

“Omori…” His voice was off. He could tell the moment he spoke. Habits…defensive habits…

Yes! It’s me!

“How long have I been out of it?” It wasn’t hard to speak at all. How come?

I don’t know.

“My voice…is smooth.” There wasn’t hesitation. Like he was used to it.

Yes?

Sunny lifted a hand to cover his mouth.

Sunny?

This room, this place, his own mind…

What is it?

“I’m…”

Sunny spun around, the weird, clouded happiness fading away. His eye widened, lips forming into a fearful grimace.

“How long did it take for the room to become like this?” He hated his voice. He hated his voice he hated his voice he hated his voice–

Sunny!

Sunny gripped his head, memories flitting past. Happy days…peaceful days…

He was happy.

He’s been happy.

He’s been happy here.

You had to be.

“That’s why I…became…”

It’s okay, it was all you could do to preserve yourself.

Sunny felt the comfortable carpet on his feet, stumbling over to one of the boxes. He looked around the room, and with a clear gaze, felt sick to his stomach.

“I…I’m horrible.”

No, you’re not.

“I let this happen.”

No, you didn’t.

“But I remember. I can remember smiling at him.”

It was so you would be safe.

“He made…me talk. My voice…” Sunny put a hand to his throat, wanting to dig his fingers into his vocal cords and rip them out. A familiar voice echoed in his mind–use your words. “I’m...out of habit…speaking out loud. Even to you.”

Well, you talk to me a lot.

“Like…” Sunny remembers. “Like you’re my imaginary friend.”

That’s one way of putting it.

“Childish.” Sunny spat.

He felt unfamiliar to himself. This was all wrong. The room, his voice, his mannerisms, his happiness–

A knock on the door.

“Sunny! It’s time to get up!”

He wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready to face him. He couldn’t–he couldn’t–

Shut down. He needed to shut down. Just for a little bit, shut down. He can’t let Hero know he’s back to his senses.

It’s going to be okay. You can do this.

Sunny closed his eye briefly, taking a deep breath. He got up, moving back to the bed and sitting on it. With a shaking hand, he grasped onto a nearby plush, pulling it close to himself. Go back…go back to being happy…go back…

“Good morning, sunshine!”

Hero stepped in through the door, a relaxed smile on his face. Sunny smiled back. “Good morning!” Talking–talking–he was talking–

“Did you have any fun dreams last night?” Hero walked over to him, and without warning–and quite without permission–easily picked him up.

“Hmmm…I…” Sunny’s throat closed off. No…no–no he can’t–no–

Calm down! It’s going to be fine.

Hero brought him out of the room, going directly to the dining table. He pulled out a chair and gently sat Sunny down. “Are you sad that you can’t remember your dream? That happens to me a lot too. Maybe you’ll remember your next one.” Hero comforted, patting his head.

“That would…be good.” Sunny briefly paused, the response coming out before he could think. He was teetering on the line of going back to his lost self.

See? Don’t worry. Things have been peaceful for a long time. He won’t suspect a thing.

“I remember you said you wanted some eggs and toast today.” Hero brought over the plate, setting it down in front of him along with a cup of orange juice. He also placed down some gummies. Vitamins? Sunny grabbed the fork Hero gave him, making sure to take small bites.

…Why? Why does he take small bites?

You almost choked once.

Oh.

Sunny continued to eat, kicking his legs cheerfully.

Hero watched fondly for a moment, then went back to the kitchen to clean. Sunny had a momentary realization, stirring up a stark dread.

How was he supposed to stay awake now? Hero always made sure he ate and was back in bed before leaving after that time.

You have some tolerance now. You can stay awake for a while if you really try.

That’s good at least. Either way, Sunny’s body was currently on autopilot, acting as it should.

Once he finished eating, Hero came back. He checked to make sure Sunny took his vitamins, smiling proudly and ruffling Sunny’s hair when seeing that he did. Hero then took the dirty dishes to wash. After placing them in the drying rack, he returned. “Alright, are you ready to go back to bed?”

Sunny nodded, lifting his arms in Hero’s direction. 

...How disgusting.

Hero smiled warmly, picking him up. He walked toward the bedroom, but paused.

Sunny had a moment of intense panic. Did he know? Did he sense something was off? He was acting perfectly, though. Was it over? What should he–

“Do you have to go to the bathroom?”

“…No.”

“Okay.” Hero opened the bedroom door, bringing him back to bed. He gently laid him down, tucking him in under the covers.

Sunny looked up at him, blinking slowly. Hero gently scratched his head, and Sunny strangely grew more tired.

“I’ll be back soon. I was going to get some Chinese food tonight, how’s that sound?”

“Yummy.”

“Great.” Hero drew back. “Have sweet dreams, my little sundrop.”

“Have a good day at work, big brother,” Sunny mumbled, closing his eye. Before he did, he could see the content expression on Hero’s face. Satisfied. Confidence. Not a bit of distress nor doubt.

Complete belief that he’d won.

“See you soon.” Hero spoke gently after a while of standing and watching, moving out of the room and closing the door.

…He didn’t lock it. 

Sunny waited for a while longer, hearing the front door close. Even after that, he continued to wait as long as he could, feeling a creeping sleepiness digging its fingers into his mind.

You have to get up now. You’re going to fall asleep.

Sunny got up as quickly as he could, stumbling out of bed and toward the bedroom door. He had to get the medicine out of his system.

Steady.

Sunny felt the way his legs wobbled beneath him. He was confused for a moment, knowing every night he’d play games or watch movies with Hero. Didn’t that mean he still consistently moved around?  But then he realized. 

He didn’t need to walk for any of that. The only time he walked was when he went to the bathroom–his brief moments of privacy.

Sunny managed to turn the knob and open the door after a bit of struggle, ignoring the decorations on it. He moved to the bathroom, trying his best to run to the toilet. He ignored the mirror and cabinet, dropping down in front of the toilet and not hesitating to shove his hand down his throat.

That must hurt…

Didn’t really matter. As long as he could get it out. It burned, but he didn’t care. He hated this. He hated all of this. He hated eating it. He hated smiling. He hated talking. He hated being carried. He hated the nicknames. He hated and he hated and he hated and he hated and he–

Careful. If you get too stressed, you’ll lose yourself in a different way.

Funny.

Sunny washed his hands in the sink after flushing the toilet, watching his expression warily.

He looked really healthy. Skin clean, clothes nice…

Why did his hair still look so messy?

Hero’s not good at cutting it.

“Still?” Sunny spoke, then clamped his mouth shut. No words. No speaking. He didn’t need to. He didn’t want to hear his own childish tone.

He has great dexterity in everything but crafts and cutting hair.

So anything to do with scissors.

Sunny gripped his hair, tugging on it and ripping out a clump. It hurt.

Why did you do that?

Grounding.

Sunny pulled out some more, letting it scatter over the sink. He hovered over it, thinking and thinking…

So now what?

He escapes, of course.

How? The front door is locked, and you’re way too weak to break it down.

“I know.” Sunny tried to fix his voice as he spoke, lowering it purposefully.

What are you going to do then? You only have a few hours before he gets back.

Sunny felt his own body actively working to shut down, despite getting the stuff out of his system. Must be too used to sleeping at this time. How long had he been on this schedule?

Well, you’ve celebrated one birthday for sure.

Right…Hero got him a cake for his seventeenth birthday. He got one when he was sixteen too–since that was basically a week after they originally ran away, but that was when Omori was covering.

After his seventeenth birthday, though…he started just getting cakes at random, as far as he was aware. Hero never said what the cakes were for. Sunny originally thought it was for his birthday, but Hero got them too close together. It threw him off. So, Sunny assumed he wasn’t past the age of seventeen.

Somehow that seemed wrong. The random cakes…almost like...Hero was trying to confuse him.

Why?

Probably the same reason he cut off all the tags of his stuffed animals and toys. Sunny once pointed out the date and when he woke up the next morning, all the tags had been roughly cut off. Again, terrible with scissors.

So it’s the passing of time.

Sunny looked back to his bedroom, and the childish nameplate on it.

“Ha…ha ha…”

Sunny covered his face. His whole body trembled, and breathing became difficult. Gasping for air, hunching over.

Sunny, it’s okay! We can get out of this!

How? How!? How does he leave here? How does he leave during this pocket of lucidity? He can so easily fall back into his lost self, becoming exactly what Hero wanted. A child to take care of. Mari’s little brother.

Mari.

Mari…

Sunny grimaced, knowing of the comparisons he’d been making. How could he ever think of her and Hero in the same light? How terrible was he? Even if he was his lost self, how could he ever see Hero as her replacement?

How awful of him. How disgusting.

It’s not your fault.

He had to get out of here before he was gone again. Who knows when he’ll be himself again?

Do you have any plans?

No, no of course not. There wasn’t any way out. He couldn’t escape. The one window in this place was completely bolted shut. He couldn’t break it either. It was protected in plastic. He couldn’t call for help, he couldn’t unlock the front door, he couldn’t do anything.

I’m sure we can figure something out.

But there wasn’t any way to–

…

Escape…

…

Maybe there was…another way out.

What are you thinking?

Sunny looked around, stumbling about the apartment. He tried to think of anything that would work. The medicine cabinet was locked, and so was Hero’s room, so those were a bust. His own room was practically baby-proofed, so nothing there.

Wait, Sunny, you’re not–

The T.V? No, he wasn’t strong enough to break it. The table and chairs didn’t work either–he’d only be able to knock his head into the edge once. It wouldn’t do anything other than giving him a headache or knocking him out, which would send him right back to square one.

Sunny, no. Sunny, this isn’t right. You’re not thinking straight.

In what universe could he think straight?

His skin crawled with disgust at every happy memory, knowing that it meant he was weak and that he had succumbed. He resented that reality. He couldn’t bear the thought of going back to that passive self, to the childish him that loved and adored Hero as his older brother–as he adored Mari.

Tainting Mari’s name through association…was low. He was the worst. He was awful, disgusting, weak, a coward–

You’re not! It was the only way for you to survive!

“If that’s what it takes for me to survive, then aren’t I better off dead?”

Sunny pressed his palms into his eye and eyepatch. He hunched over, trying to think, mind desperately racing.

No! You can’t die! You have to live! You can do this!

Live?

In what way was he living?

He was weak. He was letting Hero win. He was giving Hero happiness. The only way out, the only way to end his misery, to protect himself fully from becoming lost again…

Was to die.

You’re wrong!

That was the only way to escape.

You can’t!

Sunny tried to think of anything he could use. The knives were behind locks, and so was any other sharp utensil. He stalked around, mind racing.

It’s not like you could anyway. Hero made sure of that.

Sunny wasn’t going to give up. For once he wouldn’t give up. This was his escape. He couldn’t let the chance slip past him. At any moment he could become lost again, and stay lost for an indefinite period of time.

So he searched.

He searched, and he thought.

Hero had to have slipped up somewhere. Just like before, when the medicine cabinet had been unlocked. Hero only locked it once an incident happened. Hero could think ahead, but had slip-ups. The tags on toys, the oversight on the cake accidentally gave Sunny an idea of how much time had passed…

After every single slip-up, Hero had to find a way to fix the issue retroactively.

So what has he overlooked?

What has Sunny not thought of?

Please, you don’t have to do this…

As the hours passed, as he continued to search, his mind occasionally trying to fade, Omori kept trying to stop him.

Don’t you remember what happened last time when you rebelled!? That’s how you lost yourself for so long! It was too much!

That’s why Sunny made sure to eat his food this time around and sent Hero on his way.

When he comes back, he’s going to be upset! I can’t let you experience what happened last time again! It was too much!

It was humiliating. It made him shrink away into himself up until this point. All of that, and just because he threw his plate…

…

Threw…his plate…

Sunny?

Sunny rushed toward the kitchen, opening up some of the unlocked cabinets.

Plates…cups…

Sunny’s body had become exhausted over the period of time he’d been looking around and thinking, and it made him shake to climb onto the counter. He opened higher cabinets, seeing all the organized dishes.

He reached up, grabbing aimlessly and pulling.

CRASH

Sunny turned, seeing the shattered plates now on the floor. He broke a few more by dropping them and slowly climbed off of the counter.

Sunny?

Sunny sat on the ground by the shattered pieces, grasping one in his hand.

What are you doing?

Sunny turned the piece, seeing that it was jagged and sharp.

No…

Sunny tilted his head.

Sunny, please.

He wasn’t sure how well this would work, so he shouldn’t do it somewhere too visible. So…

Sunny lifted his shirt, staring down at his stomach.

Sunny!

Sunny pressed the edge to his stomach, and without hesitation, he–

Don’t you remember!? When Hero thought you wanted to die, he said he would kill himself too! He said he would kill you both if that’s what you wanted! So if you do this, Hero will die too!

…And?

What?

Isn’t it better that way?

Sunny’s rage burned just beneath his skin.

Hero took everything from him. His friends, his future, his ability to learn, his capacity to mature, his independence, his agency, his dreams, his hopes, his desires, his family–

Sunny made his mark.

…It hurts.

It hurts.

It hurts!

Sunny grasped another piece, haphazardly cutting into himself with no rhyme or reason. Each burst of pain brought tears to his eye, but not once did he falter.

Sunny! Stop!

Finally, he was in control.

Finally, he had a say in the way his life went.

He got to choose when he wanted to end.

It was wonderful.

He was finally going to be free!

Sunny felt euphoric, mindlessly hacking at his stomach, uncaring of the red spreading and pooling beneath him.

Please…please…it doesn’t have to end this way…you could…

Sunny was finally, truly relieved. Truly happy. He could be out of this place, out of Hero’s control.

…Is this…your happiness…?

Sunny was saving himself from any more pain.

If…if this is…truly the only way…

He was bringing Hero down with him. It was perfect. Finally, Hero would end as well. He wouldn’t be able to cause any more pain. Sunny could be helpful to his friends–to the world–by getting rid of both himself and Hero.

I…will stay by your side, Sunny. You…don’t have to face this alone…

Sunny cried, and cried. His chest was full, agony piercing his heart. He lost so much of his life, he lost his world and himself. It had all been ripped from his grasp right after he’d finally regained it all back. He was so, so lonely…

I’ll be right here with you…

The world was growing dark…as was the room.

…The sun.

Had set.

What time…was it?

If the sun was going down…that meant…

Sunny didn’t know when he’d laid down amongst the shattered dishes, but either way, he could feel himself fading. And this time, it would finally be for good.

What he’d failed to end that summer…

He would finally put a stop to now.

Happiness…was never meant for him.

At least now maybe he could see Mari?

Sunny smiled hopefully, sobs wracking his chest.

He missed her, he hoped she would come get him.

He was…scared.

He’s been really scared.

Waking up into that room, having these memories where he believed he was truly happy in this wretched place, with Hero.

He wanted his big sister…he wanted his friends…

I’ll be right…here…

Omori’s voice faded just as he himself did.

Sunny allowed his eye to close.

Finally…he could rest…

“I’m home!”

The sun had set.

Steps away from him. A door opening.

“Sunny?”

Sunny’s eye blearily opened, long having succumbed to shock. He couldn’t lift his head.

“Are you in the bathroom?”

Heavy steps. Knocking.

“Sunny?”

Audible rising panic. A door opening.

“Sunny!? Where are you!?”

Sunny blinked slowly, hearing the footsteps grow near.

“Did you–”

…

How nice.

A wonderful moment of silence.

It would make sleeping so much easier.

“N–No…this…this isn’t…this isn’t happening…”

That’s a new tone of voice…he hadn’t heard that sound before.

“Please–please let this be a nightmare–!”

His neck was touched. His head was gently lifted. Sunny tried to see, but everything was growing so blurry. He looked up at the echoing voice, unable to see an expression. Water droplets were falling on his face.

“You’re okay…you’re okay, you’re still alive…!”

What a funny voice.

“Y–You won’t die. You won’t. It’s okay, I can fix this. I can help you. This–this was all just a little mistake! I know you wouldn’t–I know you’re happy here! This must have just been an accident like last time, right!? You don’t actually want to leave me here alone, do you!?”

Why was he so upset? They could leave together, right? That’s what he said. He said he’d kill them both if need be. Sunny just sped up the process, now all that was left was for Hero to join him, just like he said he would.

“You–You are not allowed to die! You can’t do this to me! I–I can’t do this again! I can’t! I won’t! I won’t let you leave me! Sunny please–please look at me. Wake up! Don’t go to sleep!”

Doesn’t he want him to sleep? He always made him so tired…

“Sunny, no! You can’t! I promised to protect you!”

He was so tired.

“No, please–please don’t leave me.”

What…a pathetic voice…

“Why does this always happen?”

His eye shut once again.

“It’s–it’s fine! It’s fine! I can help you! I can help you like I always do! You just–ha–got confused again, right!? You just got lonely! I’m sorry for not noticing how sad you were, but I promise I can do better! S–So just…just hang in there…I…I can fix this…”

It was dark.

“I…will save you…”

It was finally time for him to rest.

“It’s okay…it’s okay…everything will be okay…”

*

Sunny’s head was mush.

He felt outside of his own body, every part of him weighed down by an invisible force. Groggy, confused, unable to pinpoint what was happening.

Pain…his stomach hurt…his stomach hurt so much.

…

Why…

…

Why did his stomach hurt?

Sunny’s eye fluttered open, the room lit only by a dim, warm light. Sunny couldn’t see clearly, everything was a blur. He felt like he was sinking through his mattress, his tongue heavy in his mouth. Everything was fuzzy.

“Sunny?”

That…was even more wrong.

Why was Hero here?

Did they…end up in the same place? Well, they did both cause the death of a person, so perhaps that put them on the same level in terms of afterlife options.

“Sunny, can you hear me?”

Why was he whispering?

“Does your head hurt? Does your stomach hurt?”

Sunny could barely move his head, trying to face the direction Hero was in. It didn’t do much. All he could see were blurs of color. At least things were gradually becoming more clear.

“You’ve been out for a while…I was so worried!”

He could sense Hero was smiling.

How strange.

Sunny opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He felt nauseous. He tried to sit up, but was too weak to do so.

“Easy now…you’ve been out of it for quite some time. I had to keep you asleep so you wouldn’t feel any pain while I fixed you up. Good thing I’m so prepared, right?”

…What?

Sunny grew more conscious, eye widening.

He tried again to sit up, but was prevented from doing so.

…Hero…

Hero wasn’t holding him down?

Hero’s hands were both in view.

“Oh, please don’t try to get up. You’ll mess up your stitches! Just stay laying down and keep resting. I’ll be right here to make sure you heal up perfectly. T–That was a close call, wasn’t it? Haha!”

Sunny could more clearly see Hero now. And he looked…awful.

A complete mess, yet cheerful.

Desperate.

“Good thing your big brother got some medical training! I–I made sure to keep learning some stuff just in case you ever got hurt! Aren’t you–aren’t you glad?”

He was crying.

Looking for reassurance.

Sunny forced his voice out.

“Hey…”

“Yes? What is it? Do you need something? I can get you anything you’d like! Are you tired? Do you want me to read to you? Do you feel any pain? I got you some water, do you want a drink?”

“Why…am I alive?”

Hero’s expression grew strained. His hands were shaking to almost a ridiculous extent.

“B–Because I saved you! Because you didn’t actually want to die, and you held on!”

“…Hospital?” How else would he be okay?

“Don’t worry! You’re at home in your bed. I know you feel most comfortable here! I–I know that you wouldn’t like other people near you, especially in such a vulnerable state! A–And the doctors might have let you die because they can’t be trusted! So I did it all myself! A-Aren't you happy? Aren’t I the best brother you could ask for?”

Sunny stared.

Maybe he should feel pity for the broken person in front of him. Perhaps he should feel empathy for the delusional, shattered excuse of a human being sitting right at his bedside, wholly seeking relief from reality.

But Sunny wasn’t so kind.

During the time he was lost, Hero had gotten him to speak more than he’d had in his life. Communication through voice became normal. Perhaps Hero found comfort in hearing him talk out loud.

He wondered if Hero would regret teaching him to speak.

“I wanted to die.”

…

Now that’s a funny expression.

“No, no you didn’t. You just…dropped some plates by accident. And you’re so clumsy and weak you–you fell on them. That’s why you shouldn’t do those things on your own! You’ll hurt yourself by accident.”

“I want to die.”

Hero sucked air through his teeth, smiling just as strongly as before.

“N–No, it’s okay. You don’t. I know you don’t, because you’ve been so happy here! You told me you were happy here! So this is all just a misunderstanding. Don’t worry, I won’t blame you for anything! It’s not your fault. It’s mine for having such dangerous things in your reach.”

“I hate it here.”

“I know you’re confused right now, but it’s fine. I’m right here. T–The medicine might be making you a little delirious.” Hero held Sunny’s hand. “Does this help ground you? Your head might be a little cloudy.”

Sunny was almost amused at the denial–if not for his overwhelming rage at being denied his one act of choice.

“I wanted to die. I still want to die.” Sunny blinked slowly, seeing Hero’s composure visibly crack. The hold on his hand tightened. “Why won’t you let me?”

Hero stared at him, the stiff smile unable to be held up any longer. His eyes watered, appearance more pathetic than pitiful.

Sunny didn’t feel bad. “You said if I wanted to die, you would help me and join me.” He studied Hero’s eyes. “You said you loved me enough to kill us both.”

“You…remember that lie…?” Hero choked on a laugh, eyes slightly narrowing. “You remember, and you still hurt yourself? Even after I said I would kill myself if anything happened to you?”

“Yes.” Sunny felt no remorse. He was tired. He wasn’t even scared, the medication was clouding both his judgment and sense of fear.

“I–I don’t understand.” Hero stammered. “This isn’t like you at all. Why would you say that? You don’t want to die. You like it here. You’re happy. You told me you’re happy. You…you care about me. You wouldn’t want me to die.”

“I was scared.” Sunny stated, emotionless. “I acted like that because I’m scared of you.”

“What?” Hero looked crestfallen. “N–No, but I’m not scary!”

“You are.”

Tears dropped from Hero’s wide eyes.

“I don’t understand.”

Hero whispered.

“I just don’t understand!”

He gripped Sunny’s hand tightly.

“I did this for you. I did everything for you.” Hero once again smiled, failing to make it comforting. “All I want is to protect you, Sunny. How is that scary? How am I scary? I’m only taking care of you. You understand me, right? Right? You have to! We’re brothers!” Hero searched Sunny’s face, looking for an answer he wouldn’t find. “Are you so unused to being cared for that it scares you? Is that it? Are you scared of being loved?”

“No.” Sunny’s brows furrowed. “Mari loved me. She didn’t trap me.”

“T–Trap you?” Hero recoiled. “I didn’t trap you! Sunny, that’s awful! You know I wouldn’t do anything that makes you unhappy!”

Sunny sneered. He was slowly gaining more feeling in his body. His vision was almost completely clear. “I want to leave. Leaving will make me happy. Can you take me home?”

Hero stiffened. “T–This is your home! This is your room. This is…our home. It’s where we live. It’s where we are happy. It’s where…you are safe.”

“I want to go outside.”

“It’s…” Hero’s eyes darted around. “It’s too dangerous! Anyone could hurt you out there! People are evil, Sunny. Everyone is evil. But not Mari. Not me! If she was still alive, I’m sure she would join us in living here! A perfect, secure family. Where we all care about each other…where we wouldn’t leave each other…”

Hero visibly zoned out, gaze hollowing. After a moment he shook his head, returning to that discomforting, fake assurance. “But it’s fine! She…she left us, but we can still be happy. I’m sure she’s here now in spirit, watching over us both.”

Sunny shrunk back into the bed, not wanting to look at him. He felt something akin to revulsion.

After all this time…Hero still wouldn’t let go of Mari? He still wouldn’t let his sister rest?

“You don’t want to go outside. You might think you do, but you don’t. It’s horrible out there. Everyone would want to take you away from me–” Hero snapped his mouth shut, cutting himself off. “…Everyone would hurt you. Nobody else knows how to take care of someone as precious as you. If you leave this place, you’ll die, Sunny.”

“I’ll die either way.” Sunny leveled Hero with a cold stare. “I don’t want to live.”

Hero laughed–or choked. It was hard to tell. “No…no, you want to live. Why would you want to die? You want to live. You’re happy. You’re safe.”

“Stop.” Sunny was tired. “Whether you like it or not…I’m going to kill myself.”

Sunny felt malicious joy at seeing Hero’s heartbroken appearance. The pain in his eyes made Sunny feel like he had power for once, the dynamic finally more than just him being carried around without a will.

“You…” Hero slowly stopped speaking. He pursed his lips, silently staring. Sunny grew uncomfortable under the intense gaze, wanting to move out of the way. His body felt more usable now, so he might as well–

…Huh?

Sunny once again tried to sit up, but something was preventing him from doing so. He looked up at Hero with alarm, the fog that’d been keeping him from feeling fear briefly clearing. “W–W–” He couldn’t form words.

“I told you not to move.” Hero gently rested a hand on Sunny’s shoulder, wearing a sympathetic expression. “I was worried you might move during your sleep, so I made sure that wouldn’t be a problem.”

Sunny wanted to hit him. He lifted his arm–

…He couldn’t.

“We’re going to be family forever, Sunny. I will never let you get hurt, so don’t worry about a thing. I’ll take care of everything.”

Sunny twitched, bending his elbow. Right at the crevice he could feel it.

That’s…what’s been weighing on his chest.

Over his chest, over his arms…

Sunny tried kicking.

…and over his legs.

“H–H–” Sunny tried again to speak, to ask the question. Hero continued to smile down at him, gently brushing the hair out of his face and shushing him.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to panic. This is just a safety precaution. I promise it won’t be forever, just until…” Hero trailed off. Sunny had a full view of the look on Hero’s face. “I made sure to get the softest material I could. I hope it’s not uncomfortable…”

Sunny couldn’t breathe. Everything felt so much heavier. Fear finally kicked in.

He was tied down.

He was trapped.

He couldn’t move.

He couldn’t move.

“I–I–” Sunny grit his teeth. “I’m uncomfortable. Take…them off.” Sunny narrowed his eye, trying to hide how affected he truly was.

“Oh, sunshine, I’m afraid I can’t do that. What if you get confused and try to hurt yourself again? You keep saying these awful things about dying, I wouldn’t be a very responsible big brother if I let you move around after everything you said.”

Sunny trembled. He…shouldn’t have spoken. No, but he had to. He needed Hero to understand his misery. He thought maybe if he said all of it out loud, that Hero would finally listen. He thought that if he said how much he hated it, Hero would bring him outside.

But…even though Hero says they’re family, that he loves him, that he wants him to be happy…

Still, he…

…

He…

He wanted Omori.

Where was Omori?

He was scared.

He was really scared.

“Are you sad?” Hero ran his hand through Sunny’s hair, meant to be a comforting action, most likely. All it really did was make Sunny even more afraid. “I’m sad too. I almost…I almost lost you, Sunny.” The hand stopped moving.

Sunny watched Hero warily, seeing the new tears gathering and falling.

“I failed my job. I…let you get hurt. This is my fault. I was a bad brother. I…” Hero glanced at Sunny’s stomach, grief lining his features. “I let you do this to yourself. I could have prevented this, but I didn’t.”

There was honest regret, but it felt wrong. It felt like something was off.

“So I’ll do better.” Hero tilted his head. “I’ll do better from now on.” His eyes trailed to Sunny, intent and focused. He placed a hand on the restraints, a strange smile lifting his lips. “Like this…I want this happiness to last forever. It feels like everything will go well as long as you are right here, safe and protected. Don’t you feel the same?”

Sunny felt a cold chill.

…

He burst into tears.

He’d failed. He’d completely failed.

“Oh, sundrop, please don’t make that face!” Hero faltered, snapping out of that previous intensity. Sunny continued to cry, unable to even wipe his own tears. Hero pursed his lips, hesitating for a moment before standing up, crouching beside the bed. “Here, I’ll untie you. There’s no reason for you to be like this when I’m here.”

Sunny couldn’t stop crying, even as the bonds holding him were loosened and removed. He felt himself be brought tenderly into a half embrace, half cradle. Each movement was careful and slow, making sure his injuries weren’t disturbed.

“What can I do to make you feel better?”  Hero soothed, rocking slightly. Sunny shook his head, trying to move away from Hero. It was no use. He was still so weak. He was still in pain. Everything felt distant, and unlike before when it had brought him bravery, now it left him terrified.

“I–I want to–leave–let me–die–” Sunny forced the words out, continuing to shake his head. He couldn’t stop. He needed to stay awake and alert. He couldn’t let the warmth put him to sleep. The rocking made him incredibly sleepy, as did the comforting hand rubbing circles on his back. He despised it, he knew he did, and yet as if by conditioning, he grew exhausted.

“It’s okay…you’re just confused. I know you’re happy here…you’re just having an off moment. After a little bit, you’ll feel better again. After you…heal…” Hero trailed off stiffly. He tensed, eyes drawing toward Sunny’s stomach. He pulled Sunny’s shirt down, covering up the bandages that had been revealed. It was an almost frantic movement, followed by Hero tightening the embrace.

“S–Sunny…is going to be fine. He’s going to heal up perfectly. He’s going to be okay…” Hero began to mumble to himself, taking deep breaths. “It was an oversight…I was stupid…I screwed up…I got him hurt…”

Sunny wanted to spit out his desire to die once more, but he merely yawned, eyelid beginning to drop. The warmth around him mixed with the medication he was on were pulling him back into slumber.

“He doesn’t want to die…he doesn’t want to leave me behind…”

Hero tilted his head back toward Sunny, and one last time, clearly forced a smile. It was nauseatingly desperate. “You didn’t mean it…right?”

“I did.” Sunny managed to get out. He refused to allow Hero any peace of mind.

Hero’s head jerked to the side. Sunny couldn’t see his face.

“That’s…not good.” A strained laugh. “Dying on me…”

Sunny’s head was moved, brought directly against Hero. His eye was covered. He could only see darkness. He felt Hero shift, almost curling around him.

“You’re all I have left, sunshine. I can’t lose you. I won’t let you disappear, even if…even if that means I have to lock you in this room forever.” Hero lowered his voice, unable to hide his quivering.

How…terrible.

How unfair.

Sunny cried silently as he felt himself fade into exhaustion.

“Rest well…I’ll be here…I’ll keep you safe…”

A dreamless sleep.

He would have a dreamless sleep.

Maybe when he woke up this would all be over.

“I’ll make it up to you…I promise…”

If only it were a nightmare.

…

At least then he could wake up.

*

Sunny opened his eye.

“A-Ah! You’re actually awake!”

Actually? Sunny turned, seeing Hero, who…somehow looked even worse. Sunny didn’t even know that was possible.

“Do you feel better?”

Sunny didn’t really feel all that much different from last time. How long was he out? He opened and closed his mouth, a question randomly entering his mind.

Since he wasn't in the hospital, that meant no IVs. If he was asleep…how was he eating and drinking? Or going to the bathroom?

…

Never mind.

He’d rather not think about it. That might be what the ‘actually’ meant. Perhaps he was awake most of the time, just not completely lucid. Quaint.

…Sarcasm didn’t bring him much relief.

“S–Sunny? You feel better, right?”

Once again he was met with that repulsively frantic look. Sunny almost wanted to curl his lip in disgust. As if he’d play along. When he was lucid, he would make his hatred clear. What was Hero going to do? Cry? Hurt him? That’d be new.

…

Sunny wanted Hero to hurt him.

That way…he could solidify his hatred and fear.

If Hero hurt him, if Hero yelled at him–if Hero hit him–then Sunny would feel more justified. He would feel more secure in his decision. He would know for sure Hero was the worst.

He would finally, truly be able to hate Hero.

Sunny just needed to rile him up.

“I hate you.”

Hero twitched.

“You’re the worst.”

Hero’s eyes remained trained on him, completely focused.

“I’d rather die than be around you.”

Hero couldn’t hide his emotion as well as he probably thought he could. Sunny could clearly see through the fake stoicism. Hero was actively cracking. Sunny could see the tears gathering.

“I don’t care about you. I want you to die.”

The tears were falling now. Hero didn’t look away.

“You ruined everything. You’re a monster.”

Hero didn’t wipe the tears that trailed down his cheeks. It was a concerning amount. Behind Hero’s eyes was genuine, deep pain. Sunny hoped he was cutting deep.

But Hero wasn’t doing anything. He was just listening.

Sunny wasn’t being terrible enough.

Feeling guilty…he was stupid for feeling guilty. He shouldn’t pity Hero. He needed to put away any of his care. Hero wasn’t his brother. Hero wasn’t his friend. Hero manipulated him. Hero controls him. Hero was a monster who trapped him under the guise of protection.

“I could have been happy, if only you didn’t exist.”

Sunny knew it was all a farce.

“You killed my mom. You hurt Kel. You ran away. You took me. You locked me away.”

Sunny listed his faults, wanting Hero to break. Hero was merely sitting there, crying, almost aggrieved. Was it so unexpected? Sunny felt anger. Why wasn’t Hero hurting him? Why wasn’t Hero doing anything!?

“Mari would hate you.”

The blood drained from Hero’s face.

There it is. The anger would come any second now. This fake persona Hero was trying to portray, the one that only preached protection and safety…the moment Sunny made him angry, it would all go away. Hero would reveal his true nature, just like his mother did.

Then, Sunny could truly hate him. Then, Sunny wouldn’t feel guilt for his words, and wouldn’t feel guilt if he died.

“She never wanted you to do this. You’re selfish.”

Hero was shaking. His lips were pursed, suppressing sobs. It was pathetic.

“You lose control of yourself. You chose not to get better. You convinced yourself you couldn’t, but you know you could have stopped this. You chose to get worse.”

Why did Hero look so hurt? He shouldn’t look hurt. He should be angry, not sad. He should yell at him, hit him, get him to stop–but he was just sitting there.

He was sitting there, hands folded, gaze intent and focused, tears unending.

“You blame everyone and everything for your mistakes. You claim to protect me, but make everything worse.”

Finally, his throat began to feel sore. Looks like he was nearing his limit. He doesn’t remember talking this much in his life. It’s Hero’s fault for teaching him to speak.

Once Hero got angry, he would stop speaking once again. His lost self was stupid, picking up dumb habits and ugly mannerisms. Sunny would get rid of them one by one.

And the first step was using up his voice.

“It’s always been about you. It’s your wrongful beliefs, your corrupted ideological codes.”

Sunny was tied down, but he bent his elbow, using his hand to gesture to his stomach.

“You caused all of this.”

Hero stopped shaking. His expression fell completely, the fake calm slipping away.

“You harmed everyone.”

Hero lifted a hand. Sunny almost smiled.

Predictable. He knew in the end Hero would be the same. The pretense of care…it was finally going to slip away.

“And now you’ll kill me.”

The hand raised further, and Sunny instinctively shrunk back, shutting his eye. He knew it was coming, he wanted it to come, and yet–he somehow was–

SMACK

…

Huh?

Sunny opened his eye.

He looked up and over.

Hero…

“No…no, that’s no good…” Hero mumbled. “That won’t make him happy…”

What?

“I need to do more…I have to make it up to him…”

That wasn’t right. Why wasn’t Hero hurting him?

“I just…”

Hero met Sunny’s gaze.

“M–My…my little sundrop…”

Hero stumbled forward, collapsing at the bedside. He held onto Sunny’s hand tightly, bowing his head as tremors shook his body.

“You hate me…you hate me…I let you get hurt…the pain you have to go through…the scars that are going to be left behind…it’s all my fault. It’s all my fault!”

That can’t be right. Hero was supposed to get angry. Hero was supposed to hurt him. It didn’t make any sense.

“My wonderful…kind…understanding little brother…”

Hero continued to sob, pressing Sunny’s hand to his now red cheek.

“Will you feel better…if you hit me?”

Sunny tensed up completely. What?

“All the things you said…they hurt me…so much.” Hero took a shuddering breath, voice cracking. “But I deserve it. I deserve it…I let you get so hurt. You almost died in my care!”

His voice was rising. All the anger Sunny expected…it was there.

Hero was just directing it at himself.

…

That couldn’t be right.

“I can make it up to you…just like last time…I will make it up to you.”

Hero looked up with a smile.

Looked…manic.

Sunny felt his stomach drop.

Something…was wrong.

Something was very wrong.

“I–I–” Sunny’s voice harshly cracked.

He used up his words.

He meant to. He hated his voice.

But he had a premonition.

Suddenly, he wished he hadn’t spoken.

He wished he’d saved some of his words.

He needed to speak.

He needed to speak!

“I–I’ll be right back!” Hero squeezed his hand, before standing up abruptly and rushing out of the room, almost tripping over a stuffed toy.

Sunny’s heart pounded in his head.

Wrong…something was so incredibly wrong.

Instant regret. Any relief he got from ripping into Hero was gone. He was left confused and alarmed, unsure of what was to come.

But he had a gut feeling…

He wasn’t going to like what happened next.

“I–I’m back!” Hero stumbled into the room, carrying–

Sunny’s ears started ringing.

Hero set down some towels on the bed, spreading them out. He opened up the medkit next, placing it on the other side of Sunny’s feet. The bed was relatively large, with enough room for Hero to sit at the end comfortably.

Hero was moving quickly, hands shaking. He lifted up a cardboard box, placing it next to the opened medkit. He sat himself down on the towels, before looking up at Sunny.

“I–I promised to make it up to you, right!?”

Sunny wanted to run away.

“Just like when…” Hero’s hand trailed up to his neck, running over the old scar.

Sunny wanted to throw up.

No…he wasn’t…this wasn’t…

“It was all my fault! You’re right to blame me!”

Hero said as much, but his gaze was vacant.

“I can fix this. We can be happy again.”

This wasn’t what he wanted.

“This is what you wanted, right? That’s why you said all of those things.”

Sunny tried to speak.

…He…

He used up his voice.

Terror.

Sunny shook his head rapidly, mouthing the word instead.

Hero merely smiled.

“You wouldn’t have said all of those things if you didn’t want me to do this.”

Hero put his hand into the cardboard box, pulling out a familiar jagged edge.

“If you didn’t want me to do this…”

Hero’s lips stretched into something eerie.

“You wouldn’t have tried to leave me.”

Sunny’s eye snapped wide.

“You said you wanted me to die.”

This wasn’t what he meant.

“I’m sorry I can’t do that for you, sunshine.”

He didn’t intend for this.

“But I can at least get close, just like you did.”

Sunny heard the clenching of teeth followed by a sharp gasp of pain, and yet the mouth it came from was stretched into a beam.

Sunny stared forward, horrified.

“I–It hurts.” Hero spoke through a clenched jaw, continuing to keep that smile on. Sunny watched the gash be created, saw the blood flow from the wound.

Sunny gagged.

He struggled against his bonds, shaking his head and trying to reach toward Hero, wanting to stop him.

But Hero just pressed deeper, slicing his own stomach.

Just as Sunny did.

“It’s–it’s horrible to look at, right?” Hero dropped the shard, wiping his hands on the towel. He then grabbed some items from the medkit. “Can you imagine how I felt? Seeing you on the floor…” Hero began cleaning the wound. “You weren’t moving. Blood was everywhere…”

Sunny bit his lip hard enough so that it’d draw blood. Tears fell uselessly from his eye, and he hoped Hero would just see him. He hoped Hero would see how much he hated all of this. This wasn’t what he wanted to happen.

“I was so scared. Just like all that time ago…before I knew the truth…” Hero began sewing his own wound. “I thought I’d lose you, just as I once thought I’d lost Mari.”

Sunny didn’t know why he kept watching even as it made his stomach churn. He hiccupped, unprepared for the sudden overwhelming guilt.

“Mari died because I wasn’t there to catch her. If I went early like I’d planned, things wouldn’t have ended up as they did.” Hero placed a bandage over the wound. Sunny trembled. That was all, right? Hero should stop now.

“Did you know? I was originally going to go early.”

Hero put his hand back in the box, taking out another broken piece.

Sunny couldn’t breathe.

“I planned to bring flowers and surprise her. I wanted to be the first to see her in the morning.” Hero pressed it to a different part of his stomach, looking directly at Sunny.

Sunny shook his head.

“But Mari told me to wait. I’d been…especially clingy around that time. Maybe she was trying to set boundaries.” Hero tilted his head. “I listened. We exchanged ‘I love you's’, and I waited to see her the next day.”

Wince. Sucking air through teeth.

Sunny sobbed, continuing to shake his head.

“I–It’s funny, you know.”

Hero’s hand flexed, barely stopping a gasp of pain.

Sunny wailed.

“That was the–the same day I–” Hero took a deep breath. “The same day I–made that promise. T–To protect you.”

Sunny could barely hear. The red was too clear. He could see the pain. He could see the wounds, the blood, and it was all his fault.

“Because I respected–h–her boundaries–” Hero placed the piece down, keeping his breathing even. He must be trying to prevent himself from passing out, especially as he cleaned the wound, letting out a pained groan at the medicinal sting. “Because I–didn’t stick to her–didn’t keep near–”

Once again, he began stitching up the wound.

“She died. S–She died because I listened. You…you helped me…remember this...” Hero swayed momentarily, but quickly regained himself. “All those mistakes I made I–I don’t want to repeat. This time, I…I won’t leave you alone.”

Sunny cried, and cried. Uselessly he lay there, tied down, unable to prevent this. He was unable to stop anything.

He was useless. He was worthless. He could never do a thing. Whenever he did try to do something, everything just became worse. He spoke when he shouldn’t have. He said such awful things.

“You don’t have to care about other people…” Hero grabbed the next shard, taking a few moments to regain himself. “And yet you do. Even now…” Hero gestured to Sunny, and Sunny cried harder. “Look at you. You’re so sad even though you wanted this. Even though I deserve it.”

No. No. No he didn’t. He didn’t. He didn’t want this.

“Why are you shaking your head?” Hero hummed, slicing into himself once again with a grunt. “Y–You said you wanted me dead. You wanted me…to kill us both…”

Sunny hiccupped loudly.

“But I can’t do that. I…I can’t let you die. I won’t let you. I promised to protect you, right?” Red stained hands. “If you…get hurt here, I can get rid of the source of pain. I–If you find a way to hurt yourself, I’ll take it away.”

Sunny shouldn’t have spoken at all. He shouldn’t have done any of that. He should have just kept being happy. Then he wouldn’t be trapped. Then he wouldn’t be forced to watch and hear all of this.

“Tying you down…it’s because I have to, Sunny.” Hero’s gaze wavered, blood loss getting to him. “Just like when…you tried to starve…” Hero swayed. “I had to…force you to eat. I don’t want to upset you, but…”

Hero steadied himself, reaching back toward the medkit.

“I’m going to keep you alive.”

It was over…wasn’t it?

“We’re going to be a happy family.”

Hero said, stitching himself up. Cleaning the wound. Reaching for another shard. Repeating the painful process. Crying. Smiling.

Sunny didn’t know when he started screaming.

At some point, it all had become too much.

He shut his eye, trying to at least hide from seeing any more.

But the darkness did little to comfort him. Not when he could still hear everything. Not when Hero’s voice rang clear, not when every sound of pain managed to echo loudly in his mind.

Not when he’d already seen so much.

“Sunny…you understand, right?”

He didn’t know how much time had passed, a warm hand grabbing his own.

Sunny opened his eye.

Hero looked unwell. There were many bandages on his stomach, blood staining the towel beneath him. It stained his sweater and his pants. It stained his hands. It stained the hand holding his, spreading the red.

It was warm.

“I’m just doing what’s best for you…keeping you here, it’s to protect you.”

Sunny felt incredibly dizzy. Lightheaded.

A pull.

“I’m your big brother. Caring for you is my purpose.”

Sunny’s ears continued to ring loudly, and he couldn’t tell if it was his own voice, or just abject terror.

“Why do you accept that Mari loves you, but not me? It’s not fair…”

Sunny’s mouth felt full of cotton.

His hand was placed on something cold–jagged–familiar–

“I–I hope you know that I care about you as…as much as she did.”

Pressure. Another gasp of pain.

Ah.

So that’s what Sunny’s holding.

…

It was stupid of him.

It was so stupid of him to break those plates.

It was so stupid to try and leave this place.

He couldn’t even escape through death.

And…even now…

“D–Do you still want to die?”

Not once had Hero yelled at him or hurt him.

Not once.

Not even when Sunny said all of those awful things.

Instead, Hero hurt himself.

Sunny was stupid.

He was the worst.

He was mean.

He was ungrateful.

It could be so much worse.

Why was he unhappy?

Why was he like this?

Tug.

“I’m…feeling a bit…” Hero’s voice wavered. “S–Sorry, Sunny, give…give me a moment…”

His mind was being tugged on.

S–––y!

Ah.

Sunny!

Please…please bring him away from here.

Come on!

Sunny’s eye closed, going dark abruptly.

*

Sunny awoke in a white room.

He stumbled forward, moving and moving and moving and–

“Omori!”

Sunny wailed, arms outreached. He stumbled as he tried to get near, sobbing and choking on tears.

“Sunny…you…” Omori stood a short distance away, eyes wide.

“I can’t do it anymore…I tried…I tried the only thing I could…and I still failed!” Sunny couldn’t understand what was happening–couldn’t understand all that had just happened. He couldn’t process it. “I’m never going to leave…I can’t…I can’t do this anymore…”

“Sunny, it’s–”

“I tried to be strong! But I can’t! You were right…you were right!” Sunny kept moving forward, needing to be close, needing to be near someone, anyone. Sunny tried to move fast, but felt pulled back, felt restrained. “I can still feel it…holding me down…” Sunny wrapped his arms around himself, trying to ground himself, trying to feel the lack of bonds. “I just…wanted to be free…I didn’t want him to…I didn’t want to see–”

Sunny finally reached Omori, collapsing into his figure. Omori held him steady.

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…I don’t want…”

Sunny succumbed.

“I’ll just…be what I’m supposed to be…”

Sunny trembled, already knowing he was halfway there. He was already becoming lost–what with what he was thinking before he was brought here.

“Sunny, wait.”

Sunny shook his head. “There’s nothing I can do. I can’t…”

“Just close your eye. Just go to sleep.”

Sunny gripped the fabric of Omori’s shirt, gasping for air.

“Close your eye. I’ll fix this.”

Sunny hiccupped, closing his eye. He didn’t care anymore. He would listen. He would do anything. He just didn’t want to think. He didn’t want to remember anything. He didn’t want to process. He needed to keep going and going and outrun the incoming reality.

So he listened.

“I’ll fix this.”

The words this time felt comforting and true.

And so Sunny allowed himself to sleep.

He allowed himself to drift away.

*🌹*

With a yawn, Sunny opened his eye.

He blinked rapidly.

A breeze…

Sunny sat up, looking around.

He was outside. He was sitting on the softest grass, hands running through each stalk with ease. The sky was dim, the full moon bright and shining down directly upon him. A gentle breeze lifted his hair, running it’s fingers through each strand.

It smelled like fresh air.

The sound of the leaves fluttering against each other was almost nostalgic, and it wasn’t long before Sunny was brought to tears.

He scrambled to his feet, stumbling around the clearing and almost spinning around. He ran forward, body light for the first time in as long as he could remember. He could jump and move, unburdened by weakness or fatigue.

Sunny opened his mouth, taking in a huge breath of air. If he listened closely, he could hear his favorite sound. Rain. It must have been a distant rain, for it wasn’t wet anywhere near.

With a careless hand, he ran his fingers down the bark of a tree. A smile, a truly genuine smile formed on his face.

He was at peace.

He was happy.

This was where he was meant to be, outside and free.

…

“Omori…”

Sunny turned his head.

Said person stood still, a short distance away. His hands were behind his back, his expression blank.

“Do you like it?” Omori tilted his head, slightly angling it downwards. He seemed shy, almost.

“I do.”

Omori perked up. “Good.”

“I really…love it.”

More tears gathered in his eyes.

“Thank you…for letting me be outside again, one last time.”

Omori stiffened. “Last time?” Omori mumbled, brows furrowing.

“What do you have in your hands?” Sunny paid Omori’s words no mind.

Omori hesitated, looking away. Sunny walked toward him, steps light.

“Show me.” Sunny stood patiently.

“I…” Omori pursed his lips. “Don’t you want to be here longer? You…you don’t have to disappear.” Glossy eyes.

“You know I can’t. I would start believing this lie.”

Omori scrunched up his face, stubborn. “It’s fine. There’s no issue with that.”

“I can’t be here and outside. It’ll hurt my heart.” Sunny put a hand to his chest. It was childish, but he’d encompassed that word for quite a long while now.

Instead of responding, Omori revealed what had been in his hands.

A black lightbulb.

The moon reflected off of it.

“I fixed it…from last time. The truth. About Mari.” Omori’s hands trembled momentarily.

“I see.”

Sunny lowered his head.

Silently, he sat down. Omori sat next to him.

The two looked up at the moon together.

A true moment of peace.

Slowly, Sunny’s calm cracked.

“I…”

His assurance, his resolve, his demeanor…

“Omori…”

All of it, just now…

It was so incredibly fake.

For just a moment, he wanted to be sturdy. For a moment, he wanted to be the strong one, and have Omori be the weak one.

“You…played along.”

Sunny sniffled.

“Thank you.”

He was thankful Omori let him pretend to be the brave one, the one to assure and comfort. Even if it was only for a few minutes in this peaceful place.

Even if the dynamic was wrong.

Even if Sunny was merely pretending to be resilient.

And the moment he knew it to be true, the grip he had on that falsity loosened.

“Why has no one come to save me yet?”

The pretense fell away.

“They will.”

And things were back to normal. Omori comforting and assuring him. Omori being the strong one.

“Omori…I’m lonely.”

He had been for a long time.

“I’m always here with you.”

Sunny turned his head, watching Omori’s calm expression. The previous weakness was completely gone.

“But you can’t hug me…can you?”

“…I can here.”

Sunny turned his head back forward.

“I’m scared.”

“I know.”

“I don’t like being alone…”

“You’re not alone.”

Sunny didn’t bother wiping his tears.

“Hey, Omori…am I strong?” He said, in the softest, most vulnerable tone.

“You are the strongest.”

“That’s nice…I think…I think I’m tired.”

“Tired?”

“I think I’ll be happier…if I just accept everything. I don’t think anyone’s coming for me, Omori, so…I don’t need to preserve myself for them anymore.”

“Sunny…”

The stars were so unique and wonderful, organized in such beautiful patterns. Like people, they shone on their own just fine. But together with many, they created paintings, pictures, and meaning.

“I just wish I could have told them how much I loved them all.”

The voice that’d been flowing from his mouth…was so unlike himself. His muteness, his quietness…it was who he was. His friends loved him despite it, creating ways of communication that didn’t require his spoken word. His friends adapted to him. They didn’t make him learn to speak.

“I’m sure they know.” Omori followed his gaze, basking in the starlight.

“Maybe…but I would have liked to say it, at least once.”

His voice would be used for something lovely, then, instead of for communicating with...

“You still can. I’m sure we can get out of this.”

Sunny turned to Omori, seeing his face. Though stoic, somehow…there was an emotion so tangible there.

Perhaps the label of immutable strength was unfair.

“Omori, it’s okay.” Sunny tried to smile. “Even if we’re trapped…at least I can still be happy. Even if it means I have to be a coward in the process. Even if it means…I have to become lost.”

“It’s…it’s okay to give up sometimes.”

Sunny blinked slowly.

“Omori…can you hold my hand?”

“Yes.”

It was nice.

Omori’s hand was cold, but…

It was so much more comforting than warmth.

“At least…I can say goodbye to you.” Sunny tilted his head, eye bright.

“And I to you.” Omori nodded.

“Are you leaving too?”

Omori squeezed his hand slightly, barely. “If you let go, so will I.”

“Then…we’ll still be together.”

“We will.”

The two sat, the wind once again affirming its presence in the form of a gentle flow against the grass. A pleasant sound.

“…Hey, Omori?”

“Yes?”

Sunny squeezed his hand.

“Thank you.”

“There is no need. We’re friends, right?”

Sunny recalled.

“My imaginary friend…that’s a little funny, isn’t it?”

It’s how he’d always thought of Omori, as much as he pretended otherwise. A true friend, one that wouldn’t disappear. One that would be with him in the darkest of times, when no one else could.

“Perhaps it is,” Omori said.

The moon was ever-present, the light reflecting in their eyes.

“The moon is bright.”

“It’s pretty.” Sunny whispered.

“It truly is.”

It lit up the sky and the ground, casting a gentle shine over everything. Unlike the sun, they could admire it fully. They could make direct eye contact, a mutual bond.

“I’m watching…the same moon Aubrey, Kel, and Basil are looking at.”

At least, it was what he pretended.

“I’m sure they are thinking of you.”

“How nice…” Bittersweet. A tragedy. “I wish I could be there with them.”

Omori lowered his head. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Everything is going to be okay now. I’m not going to be in pain anymore.”

Omori looked at him.

Eyes that should be vacant, so full of life.

“Will you ever come back?”

Sunny pondered.

“If I leave that place, then I’m sure I’ll come back naturally, even if it’s only a part of myself. After all, my happiness is out there. I’ll want to be there to experience it.”

Omori sniffed. “I hope that day comes.”

“Maybe it will, maybe not. Either way, it’s not a worry any longer.”

“…I suppose.”

To have a voice to speak with was not completely unpleasant in the clearing, under the moon. He didn’t like his voice outside, where it was pitched up childishly because his lost self…was stupid.

Because his lost self was a kid. Was himself. Was happy.

Was content.

“Omori…I…I don’t want to go.”

“You don’t have to.”

“But it’s the only way I’m going to be okay.” He has to preserve this part of himself that could come back. He needed to remember his friends. He needed to remember his life before this. And if he didn’t hide away now, he would lose all shield from the horror that awaited him when he awoke. Horror, because it wasn’t the unpleasantness he desired. Horror, because he couldn’t bring himself to hate Hero due to the lack of true harm.

“Even still–”

“Just…please keep holding my hand. When I go to sleep…don’t disappear.”

Sunny was trembling.

“I won’t. I promise.”

“Thank you…” Sunny focused on the hand he was holding. “I don’t feel so lonely anymore…”

“I’ll stay as long as you need.”

Sunny rested his head on his knees.

“I hope…you won’t find me too insufferable. When I…” When he gives in.

“I’ll probably be…affected by your perspective.”

As in, he will also find happiness. Because being his best friend, his imaginary friend, entailed similar views of the world, and joy.

There was a reason Omori could never truly go against him. He could only protest. He could not force his will.

“I’ll support you all the same,” Omori affirmed, probably in contrast to his own sadness at succumbing as well.

“I’m glad…”

At least they would both be happy in that place.

“How about you keep looking at the moon?” Omori gestured his head up, laying down. Sunny followed.

The two lay in the grass, basking in the glow of the wondrous moon.

“Ah…how nice.” Sunny’s eye clouded over. “I’m going to lay with my friends…and go to sleep…and maybe one day I can wake up…and be right beside them all once again.”

“…”

“You’re crying…don’t cry. I’m going to be happier now. You won’t have to worry about me getting into trouble anymore…I won’t be a burden.”

“You were never a burden.”

Sunny smiled. He wasn’t used to such emotional expression, but in a place as unreal as this, why couldn’t he be unreal too? To finally be unlike himself, and someone normal instead.

“You always say the right thing.”

“I merely relay the truth.”

“Haha…how nice. I think…”

Sunny’s eye began to close.

“I think I’m ready…”

The moon gently reflected off of his tears.

He felt Omori shift beside him.

Sunny turned onto his side, meeting Omori’s eyes.

With an unsteady motion, Omori brought the lightbulb between them.

“Goodnight, Sunny.”

Sunny placed his hands on it. He closed his eye, letting out a final, resolute breath.

“Goodnight, Omori.”

It was time for him to rest.

****

“Is he doing okay?”

“He hasn’t woken up.”

“…I can watch him. You should rest, Kel.”

Kel didn’t answer, continuing to wipe Sunny’s forehead with a cold washcloth.

Aubrey faltered.

“It…it isn’t your fault, Kel–”

“He’s sick.” Kel didn’t look up. “From the rain. From the overexertion. From stress. And…” Kel hunched into himself. “From remembering his suicide attempt.”

“You didn’t know.”

“Of course I didn’t. How could I even imagine it?”

Aubrey reached out a tentative hand, but didn’t move forward. Kel’s state…wasn’t something she could help with. Not when she didn’t know.

Kel was right. She and Basil had no clue. They didn’t know anything about Sunny’s struggles. And now, because of one slight from her friend, Kel was despondent. Kel wasn’t himself.

…

When was the last time Kel was himself?

“Can…” Aubrey bit her lip. “Can Basil come in?”

Kel remained still. His silence conveyed his answer.

“Okay.” It looks like when Kel inevitably passed out, that’s when Basil would get to check on Sunny for himself.

Aubrey wrung her fingers, feeling awkward and uncomfortable. Most of her discomfort stemmed from guilt. She felt like she should say more, but with a brief glance towards Sunny, she left the bedroom.

She closed the door behind her gently, leaning against it then sliding onto the floor. She put her head in her hands, taking a deep, restless breath.

Everything had gone wrong so quickly.

Her eyes watered. She pushed her tongue to the roof of her mouth, blinking rapidly to clear her eyes.

“…Are you okay?”

Aubrey snapped her head up, quickly relaxing once she saw it was Basil. “Yeah…”

“No, you’re not.” Basil made his way to her side, plopping down right next to her. He wrapped his arms around his legs, resting his chin on his knees. “You’re not, because I’m not.”

“You sound so confident,” Aubrey mumbled, no fire behind her words.

“We just learned Sunny tried to kill himself while there, and still that monster didn’t let him go. How could any of us take that well?” Basil almost spat, little energy in his voice. They were all exhausted.

“You didn’t have to put it like that.” Aubrey hid her face once again, shoulders tense. “I didn’t…think about it like that…”

Basil turned his head, watching her carefully. His eyes flickered.

“Can I see Sunny?” Basil changed the subject, seeing Aubrey’s clear nausea.

“…Not yet.” Aubrey sighed, shaking off Basil’s previous statement. “Kel probably needs a little bit. He’s not doing too great.”

Basil remained silent. Aubrey grew unnerved by the quiet, glancing at him warily. Basil stared down, eyes lidded, lips pulled into a deep frown.

“Does he really hate me that much?” Barely above a whisper.

“What?” Aubrey scowled. “What are you talking about?”

Basil’s head lolled to the side, fingers tapping against his leg. “He hasn’t trusted me this whole time. He calls me his friend, but…I think when he looks at me…” The tapping stopped. “I think he sees Hero.”

Aubrey recoiled. “What!?” She covered her mouth, not meaning to exclaim so loudly. She calmed, reaching a hand over and putting it on his shoulder. “Basil, why would he think you were anything like that–”

“Do you really need to ask?”

Her mouth shut with a click. Basil smiled, grimaced, something in between.

“Really, I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Just like how Kel hurts when he’s referred to as Hero, I…” Basil’s eyes watered. “Every day I wonder if I’m really just masquerading as someone worthy of being around Sunny.”

Aubrey couldn’t respond. She meant to, she meant to comfort him, but knowing how he is, seeing his behavior for so long…

“Right now I want to go inside of that room so badly. We almost lost him. We almost never saw him again. Those scars aren’t…they aren’t light. They aren’t small.” Basil bit his lip. “But I can’t. If I go inside despite Kel’s request, then I’ll pit myself against him. It’ll show I have no self-control.”

“…You do have self-control. Obviously, you do. You’ve been acting normal around Sunny since the day you changed your look.” The first reunion didn’t really count, it’d all been too much at once. “You’re putting in the effort. You want to be good. You just want Sunny to be happy. You just want him safe. How is that bad?”

“How is that unlike Hero?” Basil spat, scrunching up his face. “Isn’t that the same reasoning? All Hero wanted was to protect Sunny, right? And in the name of protection, he did so many awful things.”

Basil’s hand clenched around an invisible rope.

“How am I different?”

Aubrey stared.

It was about more than just the present.

What happened five years ago–no, what happened nine years ago…

“You’re different.” Aubrey firmly believed that.

“How?” Basil didn’t accept her answer. “How am I different from him, when even now I know I’m just a selfish, miserable person? You know what I’m like...how I get…” Basil slumped further into himself, voice cracking. “You saw me at my worst.”

Aubrey sucked air through her teeth, wincing. She felt herself about to be pulled down memory lane, but decided better not to reminisce in such a fragile moment. Right now, she needed to comfort Basil.

But what could she say? It’s not like Basil was wrong. There were similarities between the two…sometimes to an unsettling degree. But Aubrey always had faith there was a stark difference. There had to be a reason she never once felt that it was unsafe for Basil to be around Sunny.

Was it bias? Aubrey didn’t think she was so stupid. If she really believed it to be unwise, she would keep Basil away from Sunny. She had to protect them both.

So what was it?

What nuance was she missing?

What made Basil so different?

“I’m pathetic…” Basil murmured. 

Aubrey clasped her hands together.

“You know, whenever I visit Mari, the pastor there always tells me a bunch of stories from the bible. I never ask for him to–he just kind of does. He gives advice, sometimes food too.” Aubrey smiled gently. “He never saw me as a nuisance, even in my peak delinquency. He was always welcoming and offered indirect support in my grieving.”

Basil looked at her, confused. His eyes darted around a bit, trying to catch up to the abrupt conversation shift.

“You know I still visit her pretty frequently…especially now that we’re back in town. He never fails to greet me with a smile, asking how I am. He’s a kind man, full of strange wisdom. I’ve never been the religious type, but he doesn’t seem to mind. I think he just wants to share what brings him peace, and hopes maybe I will find some comfort in it too.”

Basil nodded slowly, brows furrowed.

“Once he told me a story. I think it’s called The Judgement of Solomon, or something.” Aubrey hummed. “Basically, these two moms both claimed to be the mother of a baby. There was something important about the baby, but I can’t really remember what it was.” Aubrey waved her hand. “Doesn’t matter. Anyways, this Solomon guy proposes to cut the baby in half and give them each a piece. Like a crazy person.” Aubrey snorted. Basil still looked confused.

“After he proposes to do so, one woman quickly relents, begging Solomon to allow the other woman to care for the baby.” Aubrey smiled wryly. “Solomon knew that the woman who gave up to protect her child must be the real mom. The one who loved the baby the most would let go.”

Aubrey pat Basil’s arm.

“You would let go of the baby, wouldn’t you?”

And suddenly, Basil’s face changed.

“If it meant preserving the happiness and safety of the child, you wouldn’t hesitate to let go.”

Tears gathered in his eyes.

“Do you understand me, now? Why I know you’re not the same as that monster?”

Aubrey sneered, showing every single one her teeth.

“Hero would never give up that child.”

Aubrey’s eyes glinted, a deep, unending rage blazing behind a wall of fear.

“Hero will never let go.”

****

It had burned.

It wasn’t unexpected. Buildings tended to do that when doused with fuel and lit on fire.

Hero stared up at the increasing, billowing smoke, something similar to a smile spread across his face.

A clock ticked.

Hero looked down, staring at the object in his hands.

“You kept me quite busy, huh? More than a month in that room…all thanks to you.”

It wasn’t true, it was his own mind that had done so. It was his own denial.

But wasn’t it more fun to blame a fragile object, one he could handle and destroy?

7:23.

It was that time once again, the number that’d haunted him and made him turn away, over and over and over and over and over–

Hero exhaled, watching the handles of the clock move. He waited patiently, ignoring the way the growing fire tried to lick at his skin.

Just a little longer…just a little longer…

7:24.

There.

Hero beamed.

He’d officially moved on.

Now he could leave this place. Now he could start preparing for the rest of his life, and Sunny’s.

With a flourish, Hero tossed the clock into the fire, the ticking fading out for good.

“Are you proud of me?”

He asked, to no one in particular.

He glanced down at his bandage-covered hands, seeing the ring over his right ring finger. He tilted his head, glancing to his left.

An empty spot…

His left ring finger had been left bare for so long. It seemed quite unfair.

The representation of his bond with someone, even if dead…

Hero’s heart pounded in his chest.

A wonderful idea!

Hero laughed joyfully, walking further away from the crackling building.

One last time he turned back, watching the flames rise higher and higher.

It was warm.

It was also pretty. A novel sight to see.

He wished Sunny could see it too. He’d probably find it cool. Ah, but it’d be quite dangerous for Sunny to be this close to a fire, wouldn’t it? 

Hero shook his head, derailing his mind's tangent.

Right now, he needed to focus.

There was much he needed to do.

After all, he had no clue what state Sunny would be in once found. Who knows what lies he was fed–what pain he’s experienced? The trauma of being kidnapped would be heavy. It was all Hero’s fault for not being careful enough. It was his fault Sunny had been vulnerable. Sunny would probably be upset at him again because of that. 

In an absentminded motion, Hero’s hand trailed over his stomach.

“Hm…”

He tilted his head.

“How should I make it up to Sunny this time?”

Chapter Text

Basil stood awkwardly to the side, trying his best not to aggravate Kel. He was initially going to come in when Kel passed out, but…

Kel never did.

He wasn’t going to go to sleep before Sunny woke up, which Basil would like to say was very unhealthy, and not recommended. But, at least Kel finally let him in–reluctantly. Basil was trying to be as quiet and unnoticeable as possible, lest he gets kicked out.

“Sunny?” Kel suddenly spoke, the first time in a while. Basil found himself going forward, freezing when met with a harsh glare. Basil surrendered, stepping back.

“Is he waking up?” Aubrey said in a hushed tone, eyes wide. She was on the other side of Sunny’s bed, standing, unlike how Kel was sitting on a stool.

Sunny’s eyelids trembled, face scrunching up. They all waited with bated breath, hoping he was waking up. If he were asleep any longer, it’d mean he was really sick, and they’d have to take him to the hospital.

“Sunny, can you hear me? Are you okay?” Kel gently grasped Sunny’s hand, hopeful. Aubrey fidgeted in place, restless.

Finally, Sunny opened his eyes.

“You’re awake!” Kel beamed as if he wasn’t exhausted in the slightest. “I was worried you–”

“What…?” Sunny blinked a few more times, the epitome of confusion. Basil’s brows furrowed. He glanced at Aubrey and Kel and didn’t see any hesitance on their faces, only relief. Was Basil being crazy?

Why did he feel that something was off?

“I’m sorry about what happened.” Kel went straight to apologizing, his guilt weighing heavy on his chest. “I didn’t mean to get so emotional, and…” He trailed off, glancing away.

“You…” Sunny’s gaze slowly cleared, becoming more lucid.

And immediately, something went wrong.

“Y–You aren’t…” Sunny’s calm expression shifted drastically, a terrified look overtaking his features. “Where…who…?” Sunny saw his hand connected to Kel’s and–

Aubrey clamped her hands over her ears on instinct, the scream barely blocked out. Basil stood ridged, unprepared and unfamiliar to the sound.

Kel let go, leaning back in surprise and falling out of his chair, hitting the ground with a grunt. He quickly recovered and returned to Sunny’s side.

“Did you have a nightmare again?” Kel’s eyes glistened, reaching out his hand. It’s not anything he hadn’t done before. It was all familiar motions. Sunny’s been with them for almost two months now, having been saved in May. Kel’s gotten to know that Sunny needed physical contact to help ground him when waking up from a night terror.

Sunny stopped screaming after a while, putting a hand to his throat. He then burst into tears, shaking his head and scrambling away from Kel.

“S–Sunny! It’s okay, it’s me. He’s not here, I promise.” Kel tried his usual, general comfort, observing Sunny in case he accidentally hurt himself.

“Go away!” Sunny wailed loudly, and Basil’s stomach dropped.

That didn’t sound like Sunny.

None of the words he’d spoken thus far have sounded like him.

“We’re all here, see? He can’t get you when we’re all here. I promise it’s safe.” Kel continued his reassuring words, not entirely unused for Sunny’s outbursts. Though, strangely, something was different. Sunny had never been this loud before.

“Y–Yeah.” Aubrey tried to join and help. “See? We’re all here for you. If you need to talk about it, you totally can.” She was a bit awkward and stilted but nonetheless genuine.

Basil didn’t know how to say it. He didn’t know how to butt in. He shouldn’t. It’s not his place. He didn’t know Sunny as much as Kel did, right? So he had no right to say a word.

But…

Basil watched the way Sunny gripped his blanket tightly, wrapping it around himself, almost under it–hiding.

“Go away! Go away!” Sunny continued to shout, voice cracking. Aubrey backed away, jumping slightly. She flinched each time Sunny yelled. Basil did too. It was so unnatural.

“Do you want them to leave?” Sunny had never woken up with Aubrey and Basil around, so Kel assumed that was who Sunny was referring to.

“Where’s my brother!?” Sunny cried out, face hidden by the blanket. “Big brother!? Where are you!?” Sunny sobbed, visibly trembling.

And it was then, finally, that Kel understood.

“Big…brother?” Kel hiccupped. “W–Wait, Sunny, why are you–”

“No! STOP IT!” Sunny kicked at Kel’s outreached hand, face a mess of tears.

Basil couldn’t stop shaking.

What was happening?

Why was Sunny acting like that?

“D–Don’t you remember me?” Kel smiled, eyes jittering. “It’s me, Kel.”

“No!”

“I–I got you out of that place–”

“Help! Save me!”

Aubrey rushed to Kel, grasping his arm. “I don’t think this is a good idea–”

Kel shoved Aubrey off. “It’s fine! It’s just like when I saved him! I just have to remind him of who I am and it’ll be okay!” Kel turned back to Sunny, grasping the fabric of his hoodie. “T–The basketball memory. I tried to dunk a basketball and fell flat on my face, getting a nosebleed. You laughed at me, and I made you promise not to tell anyone.”

Sunny did not respond, continuing to cry out.

Kel didn’t become discouraged. “There was also that time when we were playing hopscotch, remember? And–and we both tried to go at the same time, only to knock each other over. You started to cry, and I got really panicked. I tried getting you to stop before Mari found us.” Kel was smiling brightly, hopefully. He looked confident.

Aubrey had faith in him. He said it worked before, right? So why wouldn’t it work again?

“I told you this in the hospital–you forgot me then too. But it’s okay! I understand that waking up from terrible dreams and memories can be disorienting.” Kel spoke so reassuringly, so patiently. “I got you out of that place. You don’t have to worry about Hero. You don’t have to call him big–you don’t have to call him that anymore.”

Sunny revealed his face from under the covers, staring up at Kel with wide eyes. Kel looked back, not moving, once again letting Sunny reach out to him first.

Basil’s legs were rooted to the ground. His mind was screaming at him, and his stomach had sunken completely.

The expression on Sunny’s face…

“Kel–” Basil spoke up, quiet, fearful.

And he was interrupted by a heart-wrenching wail.

Sunny shook his head rapidly, horror clear in his eyes. “No! No! Where’s my brother!? I want to go home! Take me home! I’m scared!”

Basil’s breathing was shallow. That wasn’t Sunny. That wasn’t Sunny. Something happened–something horrible was happening–

“H–Huh?” Kel watched Sunny’s actions, heard his strange tone of voice, his loud words, and couldn’t fathom it. “Sunny, it’s me. I’m Kel. You remember, right? I–I don’t get it.” Kel stepped forward, smile falling.

“I don’t! Bring me back home!”

Exhaustion.

“B–But you remembered me before. Do you need more memories? I–I can talk about other stuff! I can tell you about what we’ve been doing recently!”

“I don’t like it! I want my brother!”

Stress.

“You remembered last time. I–I don’t get it. Why are you looking at me like that? Sunny, it’s me. It’s Kel. You really don’t remember me? After everything? After all the time we spent together?”

“No! I don’t know! I only know my big brother! Please, please take me home! I’m scared…”

Panic.

“I…I…”

It was all too much to bear.

“N–No! You remember me! I know you do!” Kel lurched forward, grabbing onto Sunny and pulling him forward, their eyes meeting. “Look at me! You recognize my face, don’t you!? My voice? I–I saved you, Sunny! You don’t have to act like this!”

Sunny didn’t speak, lips pressed together, face completely pale. His eyes were wide, darting around Kel’s face. There was not a flicker of recognition. Instead, the only emotion conveyed was fright. He had frozen up completely, trembling to a worrying extent.

“Kel!” Aubrey tried pulling him back, almost crying at the look on Sunny’s face. “Kel, you’re scaring him!”

“I’m not! Sunny wouldn’t be scared of me!” Kel rejected the notion, undeterred by Aubrey’s pulling. He shook her off, continuing to hold Sunny up. “You have to remember me! I know you remember me!” Kel couldn’t even smile, unaware of the tears falling down his face.

Sunny didn’t respond. He remained still, unmoving. Completely petrified.

“Kel!” Basil finally came forward. “Stop it! Let go of him!” Basil ignored his own despair, helping Aubrey to pull Kel away. His mouth formed a grimace, trying to pry Kel’s hand off of Sunny’s arm.

“Get off of me!” Kel snarled, beginning to shield Sunny with his body. “He’s afraid of you guys, not me! He trusts me! He knows me!”

“Snap out of it, Kel!” Aubrey said, heart racing. “You need to let go of him! You’re making things worse!” She had to be harsh. She had to get through to him.

“Shut up! You don’t know anything! I know how to help him! Sunny needs me!”

Basil saw Sunny’s state.

Sunny’s eyes.

…

He had to stop this now.

And…the words…it didn’t matter if they were true or not. It was the only thing that worked last time. It would make Aubrey furious, but he needed to say it. He needed to say it before something really terrible happened.

He needed to say it before Kel did something he’d regret. 

“You’re acting like Hero!”

“Basil!” Aubrey snapped after a genuine gasp, glaring harshly.

“L–Like…Hero…?”

Kel was successfully pulled away, having gone slack the moment the words echoed out. Sunny remained on the bed, pale and shivering, arms moving up to hug himself. His mouth was moving, as if speaking to someone.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Basil’s eyes watered, and he lowered his head. “I didn’t know what else to say. You weren’t listening, Kel.”

Kel’s gaze was unfocused, and for a moment, both Aubrey and Basil wondered if he would run away again.

Instead, his legs buckled. He fell.

Aubrey and Basil helped him to sit, not letting him get hurt. Kel sat on the floor, expression blank.

“Back up. I’ll deal with you later.” Aubrey glared at Basil, eyes alight with rage. Then, she snapped her fingers and pointed away. Basil nodded, standing up and stepping back. He walked, ready to return to his previous spot. He didn’t know if he regretted what he said–especially when it successfully got Kel to calm down.

Lack of sleep wasn’t a pretty look on anyone. Emotional regulation quickly went out the window. And paired with stress, fear, anger…

Basil wasn’t surprised. He probably would’ve acted the same. Still, seeing Sunny in such distress made him upset. He was angry at Kel, even if he understood.

“B…Basil…?”

Basil froze. His eyes widened significantly, rigidly turning his head toward Sunny’s direction. Sunny stared back.

“H–How are you here…? Did they take you too…?”

Basil couldn’t understand.

Why was Sunny recognizing him, but not Kel?

…

Basil looked down at himself.

…

He put a hand to his hair.

…

Oh.

Oh.

“C–Can you tell me where my big brother is? I’m scared.” Large water droplets fell from Sunny’s eyes. It was completely unnerving every time he spoke. The way the words came smoothly, fluently, and in that high pitched tone…

Basil hated that the pieces were coming together.

“Sunny…” Basil stepped forward. He shouldn’t. He definitely shouldn’t. But Aubrey was busy with Kel, and Sunny was just sitting there, terrified and shaking, crying so pitifully. How could Basil not help?

“You look really tall…did you drink lots of milk?” Sunny mumbled, head tilted up. Basil cautiously took his seat beside Sunny, freezing up when Sunny scooted closer to him, latching onto his arm.

“I–I guess…?” Basil’s voice cracked. He had no clue what to do. Sunny hadn’t been this willingly close to him in almost a decade. He glanced up, seeing Aubrey looking back at him with wide eyes. 

“Your voice is deeper too. Did anyone else come here with you?” Sunny continued to stare up at Basil, attention focused solely on him. “Like Mari? Or Aubrey? Or Kel?”

Aubrey’s eyes watered, completely distraught.

“From…the dream world?” Basil asked, hoping to communicate what was happening to Aubrey.

“Yeah? Where else would you come from?” Sunny’s brows furrowed.

Basil began to cry.

“Why are you crying? Do you miss home?”

Basil lowered his head.

This wasn’t…it…

…

A part of him was happy–a part of himself he hated. Basil's dreams over the years…a part of Sunny must remember them if this was the result. Of course, Sunny didn’t…act like this in the dreams, but…the comfort level was an indicator, right?

If Sunny was like this because of…Basil’s suspicion, then that meant through the years, Sunny found comfort in his dreams. Comfort with Basil.

So Basil hadn’t been useless. It wasn’t only Kel who helped, right? Sunny needed him too…right?

…

Basil had to distract himself. He felt his happiness grow and immediately snuffed it out. Not right now. It wasn’t the time. It wasn’t fair. This moment, what was happening–it was horrible. 

Why did Sunny become like this?

How could this happen?

“I miss home too. I–I miss my big brother.” And once again, Sunny was brought to tears. “I want…my big brother…”

“I’m sorry,” Basil said. “I’m so sorry.”

Whatever Hero did to make Sunny like this…

“Why? You didn’t do anything.”

Kel was looking at them.

“I’m sorry,” Basil repeated.

“You…” Sunny suddenly reached for his throat. “Sore…” He looked confused. “I don’t want to talk…”

“Then don’t talk.” Please don’t talk. Basil couldn’t bear to hear it any longer.

“Okay.” Sunny easily agreed, then proceeded to open his mouth again. “My big brother says to use my words, but that’s only for him. I won’t talk to anyone else anymore.” He then put a hand over his mouth, brows furrowing. “Oh…I’m not supposed to talk to anyone else…it’s dangerous.” His eyes trailed over to Kel.

“He told you to use your words?” Basil felt nauseous. “He said to…only talk to him?” Why was he asking questions he didn’t want to know the answer to? Why was he asking when he knew the answer?

“Mhm. It’s weird because I only see my brother anyway…” Sunny faltered. “Well, not anymore.” His wary gaze remained on Aubrey and Kel. “I don’t…want to be here with them…” Sunny then blinked. “Oh. No talking.”

Basil folded his hands, feeling Sunny lean further into him. “I can…get you a sketchbook to write in if you want?”

Sunny nodded, then froze up, pulling back and letting go of Basil. He pats his stomach, frowning.

“Do you want food…?” Basil tried, still feeling Kel’s piercing gaze on him.

Sunny nodded once again. Basil attempted a smile. “Okay. I think there’s stuff downstairs…” Basil got up, walking a few paces. Aubrey remained on the ground, arms firmly around Kel. Basil figured they would be there for a while.

Basil got a little further before noticing an issue. He turned around, seeing Sunny patiently sitting on the bed. “Are you coming?”

Sunny tilted his head. He then raised his arms in Basil’s direction.

“What…?” He made his way back over, wondering if he missed something. “Is there something wrong…?”

Sunny opened and closed his hands.

Basil’s chest clenched. “Do you…want me to pick you up?”

A nod.

Basil pretended everything was fine. He reached forward, gently lifting Sunny up, bringing him into a comfortable carry. Everything was normal. It was fine. He could handle it. There was nothing wrong.

Sunny let out a little sigh, leaning into him completely.

Basil took a shuddering breath as he walked, opening the door and making his way out. He took one last look in Aubrey and Kel’s direction, met with a worried gaze and a stoic stare. Basil tried to smile reassuringly.

“We’ll come down in a little bit,” Aubrey said, and Basil felt Sunny tense in his arms. It was a clear enough motion that Aubrey noticed, faltering at the sight. “O–Or…we can stay up here for now.”

Sunny relaxed.

Basil left, unable to bear Aubrey’s pained eyes.

He walked down the stairs, trying to keep his mind occupied. He did his best to think of other things, to ignore who was in his arms. He tried to ignore the warmth he was holding, the exact person he’s wanted to have close for years upon years.

He was carrying Sunny.

Basil froze up, unable to take another step. He’d made it to the bottom of the stairs but couldn’t go any further.

“Basil?” Sunny lifted a hand, touching Basil’s face. Basil’s shaking eyes trailed to meet Sunny’s, breathing uneven.

It was too much. Too much too soon. He went from barely making contact to having Sunny entirely in his arms. Sunny was relying on him. Sunny chose him.

Basil was going to throw up.

“…Need a hug?”

“What?” Basil managed to get out.

“When my big brother makes that face, it means he needs a hug.”

A hug was the opposite of what he needed, even if it was what he wanted. Thankfully, Sunny’s innocent comparison to Hero worked to calm him down. It disgusted him enough to clear his head.

“I’m okay. I’m not like your big brother.” He hated even the thought of it.

“Of course not. My big brother is special.” Sunny smiled to himself.

Smiled…at the thought of…Hero.

…

Deep breaths.

Deep. Breaths.

Basil elected not to respond, bringing Sunny to the kitchen. He set him down on one of the stools, stilling before he removed his hands.

He…couldn’t pull himself away. Being this close to Sunny was–

“...You do have self–control. Obviously, you do.”

Basil berated himself inwardly. He just needed to keep his thoughts in check for a little while. Just for a bit. Just until Sunny was normal again. Then, he could go home and…vent out all of these feelings. He had plenty of avenues to get these thoughts out.

This part of himself…Basil would bury it deeper and deeper, until only he knew it still existed.

Basil pried himself away, ignoring Sunny’s fixated gaze.

“What do you want to eat?” Basil knew how to cook. Aubrey’s incompetence in that area made him take up the role when they didn’t feel like ordering out. Though, Basil knew Aubrey was mostly pretending to be bad at it. Probably to get out of doing it.

Basil never minded. Doing extra chores always felt like paying for dealing with him.

“Eggs and toast.” Sunny rubbed his eyes, wiping the rest of his remaining tears.

“Okay.” Basil would cook that, then.

And it would be easy. He’d cook with Sunny watching him. Solely focused on him.

…Basil was going to bash his head into a wall. He’s better than this. He’d been doing so much, all in an attempt to manage whatever was going on in his head–to keep his issues private and away from Sunny. To be normal in front of Sunny.

He’d failed their first reunion by getting too excited. And he’d almost slipped up multiple times over the past weeks. But he was good. Aubrey taught him how to derail his thoughts. Aubrey guided him in keeping himself under control.

So this was nothing.

Especially since…

Basil looked back, watching Sunny look at the ground, mouth moving, talking to nobody.

While Basil struggled to keep calm while cooking, occasionally checking to make sure Sunny was still there, Aubrey remained upstairs with Kel.

“Do you feel any better…?” Aubrey hesitated to ask, arms still firmly around him. Kel’s eyes trailed toward her, head unmoving.

“Sunny is alone with Basil.” Kel continued to stare. Aubrey sighed.

“Basil is the only one who can be with Sunny right now, unless we want a repeat of what just happened.” Aubrey didn’t know if she could handle the sight a second time around. The distress Sunny was in had been harrowing to see.

“…I don’t get it.” Kel mumbled, hunching into himself. “Why does he trust Basil now?”

“It’s, well,” Aubrey felt a bit awkward. “It’s because of how he’s dressed.”

“What?”

“Did you not hear him mention a dream world?” Aubrey’s brows furrowed. “Sunny’s old sketchbooks…how he drew all of us? Don’t you remember? We all had purple hair and stuff, except for Basil.”

Kel blinked slowly, before his eyes narrowed. “Basil…dressed up like…”

“It’s…” Aubrey pursed her lips. “It’s better than looking the same, at least. And it does seem to comfort Sunny, so it’s, well…” Aubrey sighed. “It’s weird. It’s probably not the best, but it ended up being a big help.”

Kel tapped his fingers against his arms. He didn’t reply. Aubrey couldn’t read him. She didn’t know how he was feeling at all.

“About what Basil said earlier, he didn’t mean it.” She was confident in that. “I think he just thought it was the only way to snap you out of...whatever that was.”

Kel tensed up, lowering his head. Aubrey continued to watch him closely, worried for his well-being.

Soon, he was trembling.

“I…I don’t get it…” His voice sounded stuffy. “Why…doesn’t he remember me…?”

“He doesn’t remember any of us. I don’t think he’s in a normal state of mind, Kel.”

“I know that.” Kel lifted his head, silent tears trailing down his cheeks. “When he woke up in the hospital, it was the same thing. He was a little less hysterical, and his voice wasn’t…strange like it is now, but it was mostly the same. After I jogged his memory, he remembered me. And it should be the same now.”

Aubrey rubbed his shoulder, a familiar, comforting action.

“But he…he doesn’t remember me.” A hiccup. “After everything…he…”

“Kel, it’s probably different from last time. The only reason Basil can get close is because he looks like…the…” Aubrey trailed off, brows furrowing. “Hey, this might sound weird, but…Sunny was acting kind of…”

“Don’t. Don’t.” Kel shook his head. “No.”

Aubrey recoiled, loosening her hug. “I’m just making an observation. We need to talk about this so we can help him–”

“No.” Kel’s voice cracked. His eyes were wide, haunted. “I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to think about what that monster did and how he treated Sunny. I don’t want to–to think about that room. That fucking…” Kel buried his head in his arms.

“Room?” Aubrey knew she was playing with fire. She shouldn’t upset Kel. But this was important. Maybe she could lessen the load on Kel’s shoulders. “I know you don’t want to think about it, but with how Sunny is right now, I think it’s inevitable. The longer we wait to talk, the harder it’s going to be.”

“I can’t. I’ve been ignoring it. I don’t think about it. I can’t think about it. It’s too much.” Kel ran a hand through his hair. Aubrey noted that it was shaking. “Did you know…that when Sunny woke up, he thought only a year had passed?”

Aubrey’s heart dropped. “What?”

“Awful, right? Horrible to think about. You don’t want to hear it. You don’t want to know any of it. I know you don’t.”

Aubrey heard a strange sound.

...Was Kel grinding his teeth?

“Kel, I can handle it. Do you think I can’t? I do want to know. Keeping it all to yourself…it has to be killing you. You’re carrying too much. I want to help lighten the weight on your shoulders.”

“You’re saying that because you don’t know.” Kel wouldn’t look up, voice muffled. “I can handle it. I’m fine.”

“That’s a load of shit and you know it.” Aubrey was unwilling to back down.

“No, I’m fine. I’m handling it.”

“The past few days prove otherwise, Kel. Today especially.” It was harsh, but Kel needed a reality check.

Kel finally lifted his head, eyes narrowed. Aubrey felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand.

“I’ve been doing this for five years. I can handle it.” Kel spoke coldly.

Aubrey’s shoulders slumped.

Five years…?

…

Five years ago…when it all happened…

It took Aubrey almost a year to get up again, and it was thanks to Kim–and her worry for Basil–that she could function at all. Basil was delusional from the start, a mess she did her best to keep together.

But...Kel was fine. For the two years after Sunny’s disappearance, Kel went through school as mostly normal. He didn’t socialize much, but people didn’t think much of it. It was expected–he lost two important people. Naturally he would be closed off. But it was okay because he smiled. He did his work. He was a good student. He graduated.

And Kel left the moment he did. He didn’t come back, not once. Not until he found Sunny.

Those two years of pretending…that was enough of a concern in itself. The bigger worry was those three years. How did he make it through? He was alone throughout, constantly searching, probably travelling all over. Alert. Focused.

“I’m sorry.” Aubrey lifted her chin, blinking rapidly. She stubbornly refused her tears. “I’m sorry I didn’t help you.”

“I didn’t need help. I found him.” Kel was unmoving, mouth pressed into a thin line. “You would’ve only slowed me down. You thought he was dead, just like everyone else.”

Something was there.

Something she’d been picking up on but hadn’t been able to put a name to.

The way he spoke of his parents, how he viewed other people, how he saw her friends, even how he saw Basil and her…

“I was and still am fine handling this. Sunny trusts me because I saved him. That’s why he stays with me. It’s natural. He’s going to be closer to me than he is with you or Basil because I didn’t give up on him. I never abandoned him. And he knows that. He knows he can rely on me and trust me.”

…

It...was resentment. 

Aubrey finally understood. 

But she couldn’t find the words to counter his beliefs.

Because he was right, in the end. Kel was the one who saved Sunny, who spent years of his life searching. He’s the one who always believed Sunny was alive. He was the one who saw past Hero’s tricks. He went in, on his own, and personally carried Sunny out of that hell.

He remained by Sunny’s side. Hero was still out there, so Kel couldn’t rest. Kel would comfort Sunny, be there for him whenever needed. And at the same time, Kel watched out for him, shielded him, made sure that what happened five years ago would never happen again.

“So please just…stop trying to butt into something you don’t understand. You could never understand. You don’t know me, or Sunny.”

It felt like a warning, somehow.

One she decidedly ignored.

“You have tunnel vision,” Aubrey stated, blunt.

“…What?”

“You have tunnel vision.” She repeated.

“No…? That cleared up when I found Sunny. I can remember the feeling.” Kel’s eyes softened, tone bittersweet. “I felt…so relieved. I felt like I could breathe again.”

“I don’t think so. Maybe that could have been the case if Hero was locked away, but I doubt even before that you stopped being focused.” Aubrey raised her brows. “You’ve been focused on one thing for five years. It’s driven all of your decisions, actions, emotions…and it still is. How is that not tunnel vision?”

Kel stared at her. She shifted in place, the intensity of his gaze a bit unbearable.

“It’s not wrong. I don’t blame you. It’s probably habit at this point.” Aubrey quickly amended, moving her hands in a strange, pacifying gesture. “What you’re doing isn’t bad. Sunny does need you. It’s thanks to you and your focus, your tunnel vision, that we can all smile with Sunny despite everything.”

Aubrey chewed on the inside of her cheek. “But…I think, right now, it’s too much. You haven’t relied on anyone in a long time, have you? But you can. You…you keep pushing us all away. We’re here for you. Me, Basil, your parents–”

“My parents?” Kel scoffed. He looked to be readying another sentence when his eyes suddenly widened. “My parents…” Alarm. “They’ll be home soon.”

“What?” Aubrey blinked. “And?”

Noise from downstairs.

Kel scrambled to his feet, Aubrey following.

“Sunny!” Kel left the room, already moved on from the conversation.

Aubrey was forgotten.

…

She frowned, hurrying after him, a ringing thought in her mind.

Her words were pointless…weren’t they?

No…Kel heard them. He had to have. He was ignoring it for now, but she planted the idea in his head. Maybe he would notice soon.

Maybe he would stop relying on only himself.

****

“We’re home!”

Sunny tensed up completely, hearing a stranger’s voice. He immediately stopped eating, placing down the fork and trembling.

“Sunny?” Basil was looking at him. Sunny hugged himself, glancing to the side, watching the opening with wariness. “Oh, it’s just Kel’s mom and dad, and Sally.”

Who? Sunny didn’t know any of that. He didn’t care. He wished his big brother were here. Everything was so confusing without him.

I’m sure he’ll come get you soon.

He hoped so. It’s really scary being here alone…

You have Basil!

Basil was nice, but he wasn’t his big brother.

“Do you want to avoid them?” Basil asked. Sunny nodded. “Okay, let’s go ahead and go back upstairs then. I’m sure Kel and Aubrey already left the room.”

Sunny lifted his arms habitually, and Basil made a funny face. Sunny patiently waited for Basil to pick him up. Basil finally did, still looking weird. Sunny wasn’t unused to it, though. His brother made weird faces sometimes too.

They left the kitchen quickly, but it seemed the timing was wrong.

“Oh, hello Basil! Is Kel…” The stranger trailed off, looking at him. “Sunny? Is everything alright?”

Sunny’s eyes widened in panic.

She’s looking at us!

Sunny gripped onto Basil’s clothing, blinking strangely. His head hurt. He was scared. Why isn’t his brother here!?

“I’m sorry, but…I’ll explain later.” Basil began to move, seeing Sunny’s distress.

“Is he sick? Do you need help?” There were two strangers.

“Sunny’s sick?”

…Three.

No, two strangers.

That last voice wasn’t a stranger. It was too light.

Like you!

Like him? Like him. Right. But…why was it with strangers?

She.

She?

Girl.

A girl? It does look like a girl he saw in his picture books…

The stranger leaned down toward the girl, saying something he couldn’t hear. Sunny was horrified. That’s dangerous! What if it shook her around, just like that person did to him!? What if it took her away and hurt her!? His brother warned him about this! She was going to die!

He should help her!

But…

Sunny looked at the floor, hearing echoing. He began moving and realized he was being brought away.

As it should be, he needed to go to bed…

But! She was going to be hurt! His big brother always said that evil people would get people like him if he was outside, and his brother was right! The girl was going to be stolen away and hurt!

You should help!

He should help!

No…he shouldn’t walk. He was weak and clumsy, and he would just hurt himself. He would make his big brother really sad. That’s why Basil’s being so nice and helping him!

But his big brother wasn’t here. His big brother was gone.

Sunny’s eyes watered, once again reminded of his caretaker’s absence.

“Sunny, are you okay?”

Was he…

Was he even supposed to be held by Basil?

Was Basil allowed to do that?

Why not?

His brother never said anything about his friends in the dream world…

…Huh?

Dream world friend…in real life. Now that didn’t seem right, did it?

It’s right!

Is it?

Of course!

Huh. Then why wasn’t Omori real too…?

Because Basil is special!

How?

Because he is. Anyways, that's not important.

Guess it’s not.

Sunny still felt strange. The moment he thought about it, something stirred in his chest. Maybe it was guilt? Ah, was it because it was someone other than his brother holding him? His brother did always say everyone else was dirty, but Sunny thought it wouldn’t apply to magical people.

Maybe he was wrong?

I don’t think so.

Off-topic! He needed to help that girl!

He’s useless and weak, and he makes a lot of stupid and silly mistakes, but maybe he can try to be different! His big brother always told him that he couldn’t take care of himself, but maybe he could take care of someone else? Maybe he could help the girl?

You could!

Maybe…maybe then his big brother would say that he was strong–that he could do some things on his own. That he was growing. Then he wouldn’t be a burden, right? His big brother talked a lot about how it was good he didn’t change, but…

Sunny felt like there was more. Sunny felt like he was more.

And he would prove it now!

You can do it, Sunny!

Sunny wriggled out of Basil’s arms, hearing a sound of surprise as he dropped to the ground. Sunny was surprised to find his legs so sturdy. He went to carefully walk toward the girl to save her but found it was actually really easy to move.

So he tried to run.

And it worked! He could run, and his chest didn’t hurt! He could breathe, and his legs weren’t turning off!

Sunny didn’t have time to be excited, though. He had to focus!

He ignored Basil’s calls, running directly up to the girl. He quickly grabbed her hand, pulling her away from the strangers. One of the strangers reached toward them while saying something, and Sunny stiffened in fear.

No! He can’t let them touch him!

“Let’s go!” Sunny said, pulling the girl with him as he ran around the strangers. He was going to go back to Basil, but one of the strangers was in the way.

“I didn’t know you could talk that loud.” The girl said.

Where…where…

There’s a door there!

Sunny whipped around, seeing a door with a matt in front of it, along with a bunch of shoes. He found it strange but rushed forward anyway, pulling the girl along.

“Where are we going?” The girl asked, running with him.

“We’re going to hide!” Sunny grabbed the handle on the door, turning it. He didn’t have time to check if the strangers were following.

“Okay! Sounds fun!”

Sunny opened the door and–

…

What…

What?

Sunny squinted, recoiling.

Warm. Bright. Loud.

Sunny took another step back, filled with fear.

It’s just the outside.

Sunny hunched into himself, unable to take another step.

It wasn’t safe.

Someone would get him.

His big brother wasn’t here to protect him.

At that thought, once again, tears formed in his eyes. He sniffled, heart aching.

Was…was he abandoned…?

Hero would never abandon you.

Then why…

“Sunny, calm down!”

Sunny turned, seeing Basil looking down at him. Basil’s eyes trailed over to the side, before returning to him.

“Do you want to go outside–?”

“No!” Sunny rejected it loudly, finding the idea terrifying and absurd. How could Basil even say that!?

Oh, he couldn’t blame Basil. Basil wasn’t used to real life. That was unfair of him to get angry. He needed to use his words and explain why he was scared. He needed to explain his feelings just like his big brother taught him to.

Wait, no talking.

No talking to Basil. Ah, he talked to the girl though.

Sunny glanced down at the hand he was holding.

He touched the girl too! Would his big brother be mad…? No, his brother never got angry. He would just get sad when Sunny made dumb mistakes. But he was so forgiving, always making him nice food to cheer him up. Especially his favorite, pancakes! His brother made those best.

Basil stared down at Sunny’s zoned-out expression, panicking on the inside. He couldn’t understand why Sunny had done that. Thankfully Sally just seemed content to play along, probably excited that Sunny was talking to her.

“Basil!”

Basil turned around, seeing Kel rush into the room. His parents moved out of the way, allowing Kel to reach him. Basil remained still as Kel grabbed his shoulder. Kel opened his mouth to say something, before looking down, seeing Sunny.

“Are you okay…?” Kel asked. He didn’t reach out. Instead, Basil felt Kel’s fingers dig into his shoulder. Basil worked to keep a straight face.

Sunny’s wide eyes met Kel’s, bottom lip trembling. He backed away, pulling Sally with him. He was pale, shaking and unable to speak. Basil couldn’t imagine that look being directed at himself. It was heartbreaking.

...

Basil wondered what kind of expression Kel was making.

…

He preferred not to imagine it.

It was silent for a good while, the parents standing a short distance away awkwardly. They didn’t want to screw up and do something that would make Kel mad at them or make Sunny any more distressed.

Basil suddenly noticed the grip on his shoulder tighten and felt himself being pulled backward, just slightly. Kel leaned his head down.

“If you do anything....”

Basil stiffened at the low whisper, the following sentence one only he could hear–one that made his hands clench instinctively. Kel let go afterward, taking a step back. He glanced at Sunny one more time before going directly out the front door. “Kel…” Basil lifted an arm and–

“Kel! Where the fuck are you going!?”

Basil watched Aubrey run past, almost tripping over her own feet with a scowl. She quickly got her shoes on, hopping as she did so. With a glance at Basil, Sunny, and Sally, she swiftly left the house, shouting as she went.

…Looks like Aubrey would be with Kel.

That left him to watch over Sunny.

…

Right.

…

Basil’s fine.

He’s completely fine.

He wasn’t overwhelmed at all.

He could think straight.

…

This…

Everything will be just fine.

…

A hand gripped onto his overalls.

Basil looked down, seeing Sunny look up at him with wide, watery eyes.

“I–I’m scared…can you...help me…?”

…

Basil figured he was going to die by the end of the day.

Either by his own hands, or Kel’s.

****

“Are you just going to keep running away from everything!?” Aubrey eventually burst, finally catching up to Kel. She was huffing, shaking off some leaves that got on her. She had to sneak through the secret path to their old hideout. Kel was standing on the dock, and...he seemed comfortable there.

Even from a distance, Aubrey could see him turn around, see the way his face failed to maintain neutrality. Aubrey frowned, unsure of what to do or say next. She needed to talk to Kel, but she just didn’t know how. 

“I can’t stay there.” Kel clenched his fists. “I…I scared him. He looked at me like I…” Kel turned his head away, hiding his face. “He doesn’t want me there. He doesn’t remember me.”

Aubrey pursed her lips. “He will. Just…give him a little time. He can’t control this.”

“Look, I know, okay?” Kel shoved his hands into his pockets. “I just…I don’t…” Kel’s shoulders were raised, tense. “Why Basil? Why not me?”

“Because he’s dressed like–”

“I know! I know!” Kel’s voice was rising, cracking in restrained emotion. “I know that, but I still just–AGH!”

Kel messed up his hair, shaking his head. The sound of frustration echoed, and Aubrey took a step forward. “Kel, I–”

“I know it can’t be helped. I understand it’s no one’s fault! I know rationally why this is how things are! So why do I still feel like this!? Why do I feel so much!?” Kel finally looked at Aubrey, desperate, searching for answers.

Aubrey tried to say anything, anything at all. But nothing came out. She steeled her nerves, looked forward in confidence, and yet still she had nothing. Her thoughts were a mess. She couldn’t gather the words she needed.

“No, no…I’m strong!” Kel began taking deep breaths. “I’m strong, I can handle this, I can do this. I’m upset for no reason. I already had an outburst before...look where that got me. It’s useless.” Deep breath in, then out. His voice was steadying. “It’ll pass. This will pass. I am okay.”

Aubrey just watched, speechless.

“I’m not angry. I’m not disappointed. I’m not sad. Those are irrational feelings.”

Was this…?

“There’s no point in feeling this way.”

Aubrey put a hand over her mouth.

“Okay…”

After a little while, Kel started smiling. 

“I’m sorry about that, Aubrey…” Kel laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. “I got really worked up again. It’s my bad.”

“What…?” Aubrey felt like her thoughts all crashed and burned.

“I shouldn’t focus on the negatives. I should think about how to fix this.” Kel continued to smile, messing with his sleeves.

Aubrey continued to stare at him stupidly, unable to process what had just happened.

“You okay…?” Kel’s brows furrowed, and he stepped forward. “I’m sorry if I said anything awful. I didn’t mean it.”

“Kel…what the fuck?” That’s all she could manage to get out.

“What?” Kel recoiled a bit. “What’s wrong?”

“What the fuck was that?”

“…Uh. I’m not sure what you’re talking about?” Kel continued to make eye contact. He was being completely genuine.

Aubrey was alarmed. “That–that weird thing you just did.”

“It’s…a pep talk. Plus a breathing exercise to calm down.” Kel tilted his head, an amused smile on his face. “What, have you never heard of that before?”

“It’s not that I haven’t heard of it. I’ve literally done breathing exercises before.” Aubrey rubbed her forehead in frustration, trying to figure out a way to word it. “What you just did was way too abrupt.”

“Sorry I’m good at self-regulating?” Kel rose a brow.

“That’s not what I–” Aubrey groaned, wanting to strangle him. “You literally know what I’m talking about! That’s not normal! You were really upset and basically just–changed your mind!”

“Okay?” Kel blinked. “Uh, I’m not sure why you’re so upset. Also, this isn’t a very productive conversation. Can you help me think of a way to jog Sunny’s memory?” Kel said so, then immediately lit up. “Wait! I got it!”

“Hold on, we need to talk about this–”

“I just need to bring him the photo albums! If he sees himself in those, he’ll remember who I am!” Kel began rushing forward, grabbing Aubrey’s arm. “Let’s go! Basil probably has them around, right? Let’s go to his house!”

“Now wait a damn minute, we still need to–”

“Let’s go! I’m going to need your help to get inside.”

Kel dragged Aubrey along.

“You…!” Aubrey was going to lose her mind. The whiplash of emotion made her dizzy. How many times does she need to be brushed off before she can beat the shit out of someone!? Why wasn’t he listening!?

And why was he so calm and upbeat? Why was he acting like nothing was wrong!? Why wasn’t he taking this serio–

…

Aubrey wanted to throw up.

This wasn’t…out of the norm. This…

This is what he did for five years, wasn’t it? No…probably longer than that. Forced positivity. A happy, bright smile to suppress the hopelessness. A smile even she had fallen for time and time again, to the point where she believed for a period of time that he never even grieved for Mari’s death.

Every step of the way, Kel was a guiding light. He was who they looked to for that everlasting optimism. During those five years–during those first two years when they still went to school, Aubrey remembers often looking at him.

She remembered looking at him smiling in the hallway, wondering how he’d moved on. She wondered how he got up again. But, instead of it making her angry like the first time around, she found it…inspiring, almost. It made her hopeful that she could smile again too.

She wondered how many other people felt the same way she did.

How many people was Kel supporting, knowingly and not?

The distraught his parents felt when he disappeared was known by basically the whole town. They had been relying on Kel for solace.

“Kel…”

Aubrey shut her mouth.

Now…wasn’t the time. Until she knew what to say, she shouldn’t even try. Getting through to him–understanding him–wasn’t something she could do lightly. If she screwed it up, there wouldn’t be a second chance.

She prayed–god did she pray. She prayed with all of her heart that the photo album worked.

If not…

…

****

“You’re really good at drawing, Sunny!” Sally cheered, placing their crayon drawings next to each other. Sunny bashfully looked away, hunching his shoulders.

“Really…?”

“Yeah! Can you teach me how to draw like you?” Sally wiggled in place, eyes bright and excited. Her pigtails flopped around.

“Okay.” Sunny shyly nodded, placing his drawing down and grabbing some new sheets of paper. Sally took the drawing he put down and began studying it. She tilted her head.

“Who are these people?”

“My big brother and…my sister.” Sunny saddened. “My sister…went to heaven a long time ago. I miss her. But! I have my big brother, and he’s the best!” Sunny smoothed out a piece of paper. “Here, I’ll draw him again so you can see his face better.”

“Cool!” Sally smiled, getting up and running to her drawer. Sally and Sunny were located by her side of the bedroom, sitting on the carpet and using books to draw on. Basil was sitting on the bed in the middle of the room, half reading, half watching them. “Let’s use some of these this time!” Sally came back holding a large pack of…colored pencils.

Sunny’s face fell. “Why do you have those?”

“Mommy got them for me!” Sally beamed, not registering the off tone of voice. Basil, on the other hand, looked up from his book, wary. Initially, he had tried to draw with them, but Sally quickly shooed him away. It left him having to sit a little distance away. It seemed Sally didn’t like him much at all.

“But…those are dangerous.” Sunny gripped his marker. “You can’t use those.”

Sally plopped down next to Sunny, still holding the box. “We can’t use them?”

“No.” Sunny shook his head. “If you do, you’ll get hurt.”

“I will?”

“You won’t.” Basil cut in, off the bed and walking closer. “Sunny, these pencils are safe, okay? There’s nothing to worry about.” Basil’s heart was beating quickly. A blurry, distant memory entered his head, echoing in a voice that now made bile rise in his throat–

“Come on, there’s no need to be upset about it. This is just for your safety. Don’t you want to draw without worry?”

That paranoia…

Basil shook his head, quickly cutting off his thoughts. He can’t panic. He can’t get upset. He can save it for later when he's alone. “Here, I can show you–”

“I’ll do it!” Sally opened the box, taking out a purple pencil. Basil backed off again, not wanting to upset her. She was about to make a mark on the page, smiling.

“N–No!” Sunny panicked, grabbing her hand. He kept her still, feeling dizzy. “Don’t get…don’t get hurt! Don’t…” Sunny’s head hurt. He felt like he couldn’t move. “Don’t get hurt…don’t get hurt.” He couldn’t say anything else. He couldn’t think about anything else. He needed her to put the pencil down, but he couldn’t touch it either.

His hands were…precious and…

Sunny’s eyes were wide, unseeing.

Basil didn’t bother accommodating Sally anymore, quickly sitting by Sunny’s side. “Sunny? Sunny, are you okay?” Basil said urgently, reaching over and gently removing the pencil from both Sally and Sunny’s hand. Sally didn’t protest, likely distracted by Sunny’s behavior.

Sunny moved, grasping Sally’s hand with both of his. He gently turned it over, checking it diligently.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong.

He had to check. He…

Sunny gently set her hand down, pulling his hands back to himself. He trembled, moving to hug himself.

“Sunny, can I help?” Basil wanted to cry. He felt worthless. He had no idea why Sunny was reacting like this. He wanted to just hug him and bring him close but he needed to be sure Sunny was okay with that. He didn’t want to upset him. The last thing he wanted was for Sunny to start being wary of him.

Sunny didn’t respond.

Basil placed a shaking hand on Sunny’s shoulder. “Hey…what’s wrong?”

Sally stayed silent, probably knowing something was wrong. She got up with the pencil box, putting it back in her drawer and closing it shut. “They hurt Sunny…” She mumbled to herself, and Basil's heart ached.

Sunny continued to sit still, eyes vacant, lost in his own world. Basil decided to be bolder, nerves shot. He was too worried. Instinctively, he wondered where Aubrey was. She would know what to do, right?

“It’s…it’s going to be okay.” Basil wrapped an arm around Sunny, gently pulling him closer. Sunny didn’t react.

At least…at first.

“Sunny, I–”

Sunny pushed Basil as hard as he could. The moment Basil let go, Sunny scrambled away, haphazardly grabbing one of Sally’s plushies. Then, holding it close, Sunny went directly toward the bed on the opposite side of the room. Kel’s bed.

“Sunny!” Basil fell while trying to get to his feet, tripping over himself. He hit his chin on the floor and groaned, scrunching up his face.

Sunny dropped to his knees, quickly getting himself under Kel’s bed. He was breathing quickly, chest hurting as he clutched the plush as close as possible. Under here…he would stay under here until his big brother saved him…

There’s nothing to be afraid of, Sunny.

Sunny sniffled, able to see a part of the room from under the bed. He noticed someone walking closer and scooted even further back into the darkness.

I’m right here. You don’t have to worry.

Sunny couldn’t nod, completely frozen.

“Sunny, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep my bounds…” Basil’s voice shook. He crouched down, moving his head to look under the bed. Sunny’s wide eyes stared back before they narrowed, tears flowing. Basil chewed on his lip, eyes watering.

“Will you…come out…?” Basil’s voice cracked. Sunny looked so sad and pitiful. He just wanted to help. He wanted to be there for Sunny, even if he didn’t know what was going on. It took every bit of self-control not to dissolve into a sobbing mess.

Sunny shook his head, pushing himself against the wall. He buried his face in the plushy, and Basil could see clearly just how much he was shaking.

“O–Okay, I’ll…I’ll wait over there with Sally.” Basil didn’t want to move or stop looking at Sunny. He felt like the moment he did, Sunny would disappear. 

...He couldn’t handle this. First, Sunny had suddenly grown attached to him, and now Sunny was afraid of him. Basil was dizzy. Maybe if he just pulled Sunny out and held him close–

Basil grit his teeth, pinching his arm as hard as possible. Selfish. Selfish.

He made himself stand up and walk back to Sally, even if every bone in his body screamed at him to go back and get Sunny.

But just like Aubrey said. He had control over himself. He could do this.

“Did I do something wrong…?” Sally asked after Basil sat down on the bed. He made sure he was angled so he could see if Sunny came out.

“No, you didn’t,” Basil said. “It’s not your fault.”

“But…” Sally teared up. “But I made him sad…”

“It wasn’t you.” Basil gestured for her to come over. Sally obliged, sitting beside him on the bed. She hung her head, completely downcast.

“I shouldn’t hold the pencil…”

“No, there’s nothing wrong with holding a pencil.” Basil clasped his own hands together. This conversation was a good distraction from the chaos going on in his head. “Sunny just…has some bad memories.”

“Bad memories? Of what?”

Basil was the one to hang his head this time. “I don’t know.” And it was mostly true. He really didn’t know. He could guess, have ideas, but…in reality, he knew nothing. It was all just assumptions.

“Oh…” Sally frowned. “Can I help?”

“I–” Basil shut his eyes briefly. “Not right now.”

“Okay. I will wait. Sunny said he would teach me how to draw.” Sally moved her legs onto the bed, sitting with crossed legs.

Basil clenched his hands more tightly.

Had…he just lied?

No, no…he wants to help Sunny no matter what. If he thought Sally could comfort Sunny or get him out, Basil would obviously encourage it. Basil just knew it wouldn’t help, and it would only serve to distress Sunny more.

Of course it wouldn’t help. Why would it? Sally was just a kid. Sally wasn’t someone Sunny found important.

...

If Sally did it and he couldn’t…wouldn’t that…mean that Sally was closer to Sunny than he was…?

…

Basil’s knuckles were white.

…

He needed his journal. He needed his pencils. He needed his sketchbooks. He needed his room. He needed his flowers. He needed his photo albums. He needed–he needed–

“Basil?”

Basil whipped his head to the side, and Sally jumped back, startled. “I’m sorry…” Basil said. He didn’t mean to scare her.

Sally didn’t respond, merely watching him warily.

…Why did she look at him like that? This wasn’t the only time. Since the moment they met, sometimes she would look at him and just…grimace. Look wary. Lean away. As if his mere presence was discomforting.

What could he have possibly done to make Sally so uncomfortable?

…

Was it Kel?

Did Kel tell her something? Make her wary?

Basil pinched his arm.

What a stupid thought. Kel had no reason to do that.

“You’re weird,” Sally mumbled, crossing her arms and turning her back to him.

“…Okay.” Basil didn’t know how to respond.

Once again, he really wanted to know where Aubrey was. He was a good two seconds away from imploding. Basil was trying to forcibly dissociate until he could be alone. It was hard, considering Sunny was so close but he couldn’t even be near. Sunny was crying, scared, and hiding, and Basil couldn’t do anything to help.

Sunny chose him. He should be able to help. But instead, he was useless.

Sunny continued to remain underneath the bed, not coming out or making a sound. He just shivered as he cried, waiting for his big brother to get him.

I’m sure he’ll be here soon.

What if he was a bad kid, and his big brother didn’t want him anymore?

Impossible. Hero loves you very much.

Right…loved him as much as Mari did…

But if that was the case, where was he? Didn’t his brother promise to always protect him? 

He’s probably searching for you. He’s probably just as scared as you are.

…Really?

Really.

That…didn’t make him feel any better. It just meant they were both scared and alone.

Hero is older. He knows what to do. He’s smart. He’ll find you soon.

Sunny didn’t know how long he could wait. He was already thrown off, used to his schedule. As much as he liked playing with Sally, it didn’t feel right. And then…the pencils…the…

Sunny let out a shaky breath. He didn’t mean to get so close…he hoped his big brother wouldn’t be sad. Whenever he got hurt, it made his brother…

For some reason, his stomach felt weird.

He didn’t know how long it had been, talking to his best friend Omori to try and be calm while he waited. Suddenly, he heard the door open and saw people come in.

Sunny curled into himself, covering his mouth and trying to be as silent as possible.

“Basil!” Kel walked into the room and immediately surveyed, only seeing Basil and Sally on the couch. “Where’s Sunny?”

“He’s…” Basil closed his mouth.

Staring up at Kel, whose expression was neutral, not a hint of knowing…

…

There was a weird feeling. Basil didn’t know what to call it. Whatever it was, he knew it was ugly. But it didn’t make him feel bad. It made him feel good. It made him feel a twisted sense of joy.

He didn’t have to tell Kel. He could keep it to himself. Sunny chose him. Sunny didn’t want Kel anymore. Basil could hide it, and remain the important one. He could be the one Sunny clung to instead. Sunny didn’t need Kel when Basil was–

“If it meant preserving the happiness and safety of the child, you wouldn’t hesitate to let go.”

…

“He’s under your bed,” Basil said.

“Under my bed?”

“He and Sally were coloring. He suddenly got really scared after seeing colored pencils.”

“Oh…” Kel frowned. He moved to Sally’s side, crouching by her. “Was he having fun before that, at least?”

“Y–Yeah.” The moment Kel appeared, it was like Sally let her guard down. She freely sniffled, reaching forward and latching onto his hoodie. Kel rubbed her back, placing what was in his hands on the bed.

Basil spied the items. Photo albums…

Someone else came through the door, huffing. Aubrey closed the door behind herself, barely managing not to slam it.

“Kel, I swear to god…” She trailed off, sensing the atmosphere. She walked over, questioning with her eyes. Basil relayed the same information again, and Aubrey was visibly saddened.

“Mom and dad are downstairs making dinner. Do you want to go help them, Sally? We’ll help Sunny out while you’re down there.” Kel rubbed her head, smiling gently. Sally nodded, wiping her eyes.

“Okay…” She gave him one last hug, then backed up. “You better not make Sunny cry.”

“I…won’t. Of course I won’t.” Kel’s gaze flickered.

Sally hurried off, poking Aubrey as she went. She closed the door behind herself after one long look toward Kel’s bed.

“Your sister is really mature.” Aubrey looked proud. Kel nodded, a small smile on his face.

“She is.” The positive emotions couldn’t last more than a second. Kel turned to Basil, once again stoic. The harshness and judgment Basil expected weren’t there. Strangely, he seemed okay. “So Sunny got upset while drawing?”

“Yeah…” Basil said, hesitant. He expected a lot more reproach, considering Aubrey probably told him the reasoning behind his outfit.

“God, that sucks.” Aubrey kept glancing over at Kel’s bed. “He got upset. But…why colored pencils? What’s so upsetting about those?”

Kel tensed up as if the words had only just been processed. “Colored…pencils…”

Suddenly and against his desire, Kel recalled, vividly.

“You’re the one who’s selfish! You’re the one who almost got Sunny killed! You’re the one who’s careless, and only thinks about himself! Not! Me! And you know what!? You’re not worth it.”

A fight…

“Omori and Sunny like pencils…”

Kel jerked his head to the side, forgetting–forgetting it. Forgetting the memory of his brother–of what–of–

“I’m going to give him the photo albums.” Kel smiled brightly. Happy. He was happy. This would all be fixed. They would go back to having fun. They would go back to hanging out. Sunny wouldn’t be afraid of him.

“U–Um…the photos in the second one might be a bit…” Basil couldn’t breathe. “I um…I crossed out, um…”

“It’s okay! Sunny doesn’t need to see that anyways.” Kel said.

“Will he even be able to see them under there…?” Aubrey looked at Basil.

“I’m sure there’s enough light. The sun’s setting, so our room is really bright.” Kel picked up the photo albums, already walking over.

“Wait, maybe Basil should do it since–”

“It’s okay! I’m not going to talk or look at him!” Kel turned around, beaming. He looked fully relaxed.

“O–Okay.” Aubrey nodded her head once, a bit too quickly. Kel turned forward again, crouching beside the bed.

True to his word, he didn’t say a thing. Instead, Kel merely opened the photo albums to their first pages and slid them slightly underneath. He then backed away, returning to the middle of the room.

Basil and Aubrey stared at him, then at the bed.

They all waited.

It took a while, but soon, they could hear the soft sound of pages flipping.

Sunny wasn’t sure why he felt compelled to look, but he felt like the books were important when he saw them. He wanted to look at them. Maybe it would make him feel better.

And so he did.

Sunny looked at the thicker one first, met with nostalgic images–strange nostalgia, a type he couldn’t pinpoint. A home he didn’t recall. A love that wasn’t his. Each entry, each image…all the stuff they did…was that really him?

Of course it’s you.

His friends…his sister…

His brother looked so young here. His hair was brown too, instead of the matching black he was used to.

It was a long time ago.

Mari…was just as he remembered.

Sunny continued to flip through. They were all so happy…

…

Water droplets landed on the pages, sinking into the paper. Sunny frantically wiped them off, not wanting to ruin any of the photos or writing. It wasn’t long before he made it to the last page, and longing, one that tugged on the deepest part of his soul, quickly enveloped him.

It was happiness.

This photo album contained the purest form of joy.

One…distant from him.

…

Sunny pushed it to the side–gently, with care, with shaking, trembling hands–and pulled the next one forward. He opened it, and…

Ah.

Sunny put a hand up to his eye.

This whole time he hadn’t even noticed.

His eyepatch was gone.

How…?

What was there instead? A fake eye?

A purple eye.

Purple?

A gift.

For who?

I don’t know.

It was someone important. It was…for more than one person. It was for a lot of things, simplified to one.

…

Someone was crossed out of the pictures.

Who…was it?

Hero.

Why was his big brother crossed out? Maybe it was just the one photo…

…

It wasn’t.

…

Basil, Kel, Aubrey…

…

But his big brother was crossed out. His big brother was gone from the photos, just like how he was gone in real life. Sunny was unsafe. Sunny was scared. Sunny was afraid. Sunny wanted…he wanted his big brother, Hero.

You don’t have to be afraid.

He was so confused right now, but Hero always had the answers. His brother knew everything. He was really smart and could do lots of things. He was the best. He protected Sunny.

He was strong, and Sunny was weak. He could do so many things, and Sunny could do nothing. Without his brother, without Hero, he was…

He was…

Sunny.

He was Sunny.

He…

…

Sunny hiccupped, flipping through, the pages blurry.

…

He didn’t wipe his tears from the photos.

…

He’d been so afraid the whole day…he was trying to be strong. He was trying to be the strongest. He wanted to prove to his big brother that he could do it. He could do things on his own.

But he can’t.

He just wants to hide.

It’s okay to hide.

Basil was nice, but…he wasn’t the same. He wasn’t his brother. Basil was just…from the dream world. He wasn’t real.

Or…

…

He was real, just…dressed like…

…

Then…the pink hair…that was Aubrey, then. She looked so different, but it was her…?

…

So then, the person who shook him…

…

Kel.

Kel, who was…family.

Sunny’s face scrunched up, trying to catch his breath. He was sobbing, clutching onto the plushy–the albums–

“Sunny? Are you okay?”

A soft, kind voice. A warm voice. One that brought him an inexplicable sense of safety and security.

“Kel! You said you wouldn’t–”

“I–I’m just worried! I heard him crying, so I…”

Sunny wanted…Sunny wanted to be safe–!

“Oh, he’s coming out.”

“Kel, you should move out of the way a bit.”

“But…”

Sunny didn’t register the voices, only hearing one. He didn’t comprehend it, but it didn’t matter. He found his safety! He found it!

“Oh! Sunny, do you remember me…?”

Sunny scrambled forward, latching onto a familiar orange. He gripped the fabric, unwilling to let go. He tried to get as close as possible.

“Whoa! I guess you did, then. I’m so glad…” Arms wrapped around him. “Do you feel better? Do you want to talk about what happened? I’m glad you’re back to yourself again. I’m…sorry for how I acted earlier…”

“We were all really worried, Sunny.”

“Y–Yeah. We were all really scared.”

Sunny…was confused.

What were they all talking about?

“…Sunny? Can you hear me?”

“He probably needs a minute.”

Sunny buried his head further into the hoodie. He was so relieved…he thought he was alone, but he was wrong.

“Big brother…” Sunny hiccupped, continuing to cry. “I was so scared…I didn’t recognize you. I’m sorry…”

“…What?”

“I didn’t mean to make you sad.” Sunny remembered how upset his brother was and felt terrible. He just didn’t know. He was stupid, like always. Hopefully, he could be forgiven. “I’m really sorry…”

“S–Sunny you…I…”

The arms around him were taut, all of a sudden.

“Sunny, who…who am…I…?”

Sunny felt so guilty. He even made his brother confused because he was so mean.

“You’re my big brother, Kel. I…I really didn’t mean to forget…”

The hug was very tight now, but Sunny was happy. He felt so much better now. Even though Hero wasn’t here, he still had Kel! He still had family…he was still safe. It was so warm…

It had become really silent.

Sunny didn’t mind it. The whole day left him exhausted. So much had happened, and he was drained. He didn’t feel like he could sleep either, waiting for Hero to save him first. Now, while he waited for Hero, Kel could take care of him.

I’m happy…that you are happy.

Sunny remained snug against Kel, eyes dropping. Finally, his breathing evened out, and his grip on Kel loosened. Soon, his mind faded, and he fell into a deep sleep.

…

Kel couldn’t move.

“He…remembered me…”

Aubrey stepped forward. “He did.” She reached out a hand, unsure. “He…”

Basil’s face was ashen. “He remembered, but he’s still…”

Kel continued to hold Sunny close, his ears ringing. It was loud. He couldn’t hear a thing. All he could hear with his heartbeat, the sound of his breathing–the sound of Sunny breathing. He became hyper aware of every little movement, every little sound.

His mind drowned out Basil and Aubrey, who continued to go on and on. Trying to understand.

…

Why did this always happen?

Why whenever things seemed to be looking for the better…it was always a lie?

Was nothing simple? Was nothing good?

...

Maybe if he tried a little harder?

Maybe he was ungrateful?

The past few weeks…things had been looking up. But it seems whenever that happens–when things are getting better–everything comes back to one.

It wasn’t supposed to happen again.

This feeling in his chest, it…

…

Life had never been kind to them.

“I’m sorry…” Kel whispered, lowering his head, curling around Sunny. Wishing he could fix this. Wishing he could have prevented it all from happening–prevent Hero from ruining Sunny’s life.

Kel just wanted Sunny to be happy. But, every time he was able to achieve that, something would always get in the way. The normalcy they all desperately desired was just barely out of reach. So much had been taken away from Sunny.

So much had been ripped away, unforgivingly.

Kel wanted Sunny to have everything.

Yet, without a functioning mind, how could Sunny receive anything?

…

Kel cried.

…

After nine long years…

…

His smile finally broke.

****

Wasn’t it wonderful?

Everything was falling into place. It was taking longer than he’d like, but he had to be patient. He had to be thorough.

Hero wasn’t going to mess this up a second time. Once had been enough.

This time, he would do it right.

He would prepare a perfect home for him and Sunny.

Hero played with Keith’s ring, smiling.

“I’m so glad you had so much stored away…it looks like you were saving up for something big.” Hero was affectionate in his words, almost proud. “Thanks to you, everything is going so smoothly. You really are my best friend, Keith.”

No response, but he didn’t expect one.

The ring itself was his answer. A supplement for Keith’s presence.

And soon…

Hero looked at his bare left hand.

…He would have another.

Then, he could find Sunny.

Once this was all over…

He would have all the people he’d ever cared for–who cared for him–in his hands.

Forever.

“I wonder how he’ll react when he sees me…”

Hero looked up at the sky.

“Will he even recognize me? I look really different.”

Knowing Sunny, he just might. That’s how attentive and wonderful Sunny was.

How exciting.

His face bloomed into the most joyful expression he’d ever worn.

A smile.

A real smile.

“Just wait a little longer, Sunny.”

One full of joy and certainty.

Chapter Text

“Do you want to go outside?”

Sunny shook his head rapidly, eyes wide. “That’s no good…”

Kel pat his head. “Okay. We can stay inside again.”

Just like the past two weeks.

Sunny had been like this for two weeks. And there was no sign of improvement. If anything, he became more and more childish.

He refused to walk unless he was going to the bathroom. He only talked to Kel and Sally–sometimes Basil. Aubrey would get a word or two. His parents frightened Sunny and had to stay out of sight as much as possible.

Like this, Kel had taken on the role of caring for Sunny.

“C–Can we watch…that new show?” Sunny looked hesitant, almost nervous. “It’s okay…if not. I know new things are bad…”

“They’re not bad. Remember? I tell you this every day. You can do anything you want, which includes watching new shows or playing new games.” Kel sat down on the couch, with Sunny latched onto him like a hitchhiker weed.

“Okay.” Sunny smiled, rubbing his head against Kel’s shoulder. “You’re more fun.”

Kel didn’t have to ask what that meant. Sunny obviously meant he was more fun than Hero.

“I’m also nicer, and cooler,” Kel said blandly, trying to find the right channel. “I want you to learn and explore the world, experience whatever you want to. Hero wants you to stay inside, trapped. He’s mean. I’m definitely better.”

Sunny didn’t respond, confliction written all over his face. With the mindset of a child, Sunny was easy to convey concepts to. What Kel was saying wasn’t wrong, but Hero’s ideals had long poisoned Sunny. It would take more than two weeks of repeating the correct beliefs to have Sunny recognize Hero’s faults.

Kel was fine with that. He was patient, and determined.

Just like five years ago, he wouldn’t give up on Sunny.

Kel felt hands on his face. Soft fingers gently pushed at his lips, forming a smile on his face. Sunny giggled to himself, lowering his hands to grab Kel’s hoodie again, acting like nothing happened.

…

Kel covered his mouth.

He means to present well…he means to be comforting. But he hasn’t been able to. Like it physically pained him, when he tried to stretch his mouth into his usual smile, it became a mockery–unsettling, and reflecting not happiness nor joy.

Sunny didn’t seem to mind, at least. It’s as if Kel’s stoicism is normal in his eyes. Maybe it’s because it’s all Sunny has seen while he’s been in this state. Besides the teasing actions of making Kel smile, Sunny didn’t push him in the slightest. Instead, with a bright expression, Sunny would proclaim that he’d smile for the both of them.

It made Kel’s heart ache, more than even he thought it could.

A role reversal, one he never desired.

“Can I draw with Sally later? Is Basil coming over to play today?” Sunny looked up at Kel.

“Sure. And…I don’t know.” Kel’s gaze flickered.

“Okay.”

They returned to silence.

…

Kel still needed to talk with Basil. He’d been coming over often, Aubrey coming less due to Sunny’s slight discomfort. Obviously, it hurt her, but she put on a brave face.

Anyways, Basil was a bit of an eyesore.

He seemed to enjoy Sunny’s attention too much, lighting up whenever Sunny so much as called his name. Kel felt disgust stirring in his stomach, and momentarily pushed it down. He’d been bearing with the feeling, assuming it’s his own bias.

But…

Kel glanced at Sunny, eyes clear and full of naivete.

…

If Basil came over, Kel would just have a civil conversation. That’s all.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Basil should be reasonable.

And if he’s not…

****

Surprisingly, only Aubrey came over. Kel led her upstairs, hands in his pockets. She didn’t say much after a slightly awkward hello. To be fair, it wasn’t long ago that she left dejectedly after accidentally bumping into Sunny and making him cry.

He was going to ask about Basil, but decided to do it later.

Kel opened the bedroom door, walking in. “Aubrey’s here.”

Sally and Sunny looked up in a synchronized motion, making Aubrey’s eyes soften. “Hey.” She waved, sitting on the floor a short distance away. She didn’t want to encroach on Sunny’s space.

“Do you wanna see my mas–ter–piece?” Sally enunciated bizarrely, already scrambling over excitedly. She lifted a drawing of herself holding a bat. “Look! I’m like you!”

Aubrey grinned. “Hell yeah you are. Super cool.” She gave a curt nod, and Sally glowed at the approval.

Sunny nervously rocked back and forth before picking up his own drawing and going over. “I–I also drew something!” He presented it to her, looking away shyly. Aubrey’s eyes glistened, managing to keep her smile up.

“Is this me?” Aubrey studied the drawing. “I look so young…” She couldn’t help herself from saying. Sunny tilted his head, waiting. Aubrey nodded. “It’s amazing.”

Sunny brightened. “I have more!”

Sally also scrambled back to a pile. “Me too!”

As the two gathered up their art, Kel walked over to some scattered drawings. He crouched down, something catching his eye.

A…drawing of…

Kel grit his teeth, checking to make sure Sunny and Sally were occupied with Aubrey. They were. Kel picked up the drawing. It seemed like it was one drawn a while ago, since it’d been peeking out from under a stray pile.

Two characters were drawn, one labeled ‘Sunny’ and the other ‘Big brother’. Though, the labels were unneeded. It was clearly Sunny and Hero. The sun was behind them both, little flowers and petals surrounding them. The crayon strokes were a bit juvenile and clumsy. It looked like the work of a child, but even then, the level of skill already far exceeded someone like Kel. Kel remembers Sunny saying that he’d teach Kel how to be better at drawing after doing it together a few nights ago.

Besides that, knowing how Sunny actually draws when he’s in his right mind makes seeing this…painful. He’d turned back so far that even his art reflected it.

He shook off the thought, staring down at the words at the bottom of the page.

‘Big brother is the best! Sunny loves big brother.”

Kel cringed, putting it down. He spied another close by, probably drawn today, that just had Hero, wearing…a chef’s outfit? Sunny also drew stars everywhere around him, with sparkles scattered around exaggeratedly. It was clear Sunny admired Hero a lot. Unfortunately.

Kel saw no writing, and instinctively turned the page over to the other side. There was something written in that same immature handwriting as before.

‘Sunny still likes big brother.’

...Still?

Kel’s breath hitched. It gave off an ominous feeling. No one would use the word ‘still’ to express they felt the same as before unless…

No, Kel was overthinking. This was probably the consequence of everything he’d been telling Sunny. He’s been diligent in bad-mouthing Hero at every chance he got, but made sure not to go too far, lest he make Sunny wary of him.

…

Kel found himself turning the image back over, studying it more clearly.

…

Something was off.

No, something was definitely off.

Kel brought it closer, staring at the apron. Before, he’d just seen it as Sunny scribbling out a mistake, but…

Hero’s stomach area was marked over with a crayon in a spiral motion. The amount of the material on it was thick, meaning Sunny had drawn the circle numerous times. Specifically marking out the stomach.

Kel had a bad feeling.

The cogs in his mind spun frantically, past memories seeping in.

His hand trailed up to his neck, and in that motion, he audibly gagged, pulling Aubrey’s attention.

“Kel?” She furrowed her brows. “Are you alright?”

“Y–Yeah, I’m…I’m fine.” Kel was going to be sick. He was overthinking, right? He had to be.

Right. He was overthinking. Hero was awful, but…

…

“Sunny, what’s this drawing?” Kel found himself asking, lifting it. Sunny stared at it, then smiled.

“My big brother!”

“Why’d you scribble over his stomach?”

Sunny blinked. For a moment, his face completely fell, void of emotion. Then, he smiled again, eyes vacant. He didn’t answer.

“Sunny?” Kel felt cold sweet gathering at his hairline. “Sunny, what’s–what’s wrong with Hero’s stomach?”

“It’s okay,” Sunny said, as if soothing Kel. “I still like my big brother.”

Kel’s eyes remained widened, a lump in his throat.

“Don’t be sad!” Sunny went to his side, crawling the short distances. “My big brother just wanted to make me happy.”

“S–Sunny, please, what do you mean by that?”

Sunny’s eyes squinted. “My big brother likes to match. Isn’t it silly?”

Kel nodded, processing the words.

“It was a little scary–” The distant look returned, Sunny’s eyes becoming bloodshot only for a moment. “–but it’s okay. Big brother just wanted to make it up to me. He was very happy doing it!” Sunny added, trying to avoid any misunderstanding.

“Make it…up to you?” Kel’s hands trembled.

“Yes! I–” Sunny’s pupils constricted, just briefly. “I made a silly…silly mistake with the plates.” Sunny placed a hand on his stomach, seemingly a subconscious action. “I said some mean things. I was really angry. I was hurt. My big brother felt very guilty, and m–made it…” Sunny wavered. “Made it…up to me. And I had to…watch. Was…tied down…”

Sunny’s voice had dropped, arms wrapped around himself. But then his voice upped in pitch once again. “It was scary, but that’s okay! Big brother just wanted me to be happy! I won’t be silly anymore! Don’t worry!”

Kel stared, unable to react.

Sunny saw the expression and grew distressed. “I–I’m sorry! I know I shouldn’t have done that, but I was–confused! It was…a tantrum!” Sunny nodded to himself. “I won’t do it, so you don’t…” Sunny’s hand twitched. “You don’t…have to do anything to…make it up to me. I won’t get hurt ever again, so you don’t have to…”

Sunny trailed off, curling into himself. “I…” He looked away, eyes watering. “I really didn’t want him to do it…I said some mean things, but I…” Sunny sniffled. “I never hated him…my big brother’s so nice. He loves me…and I made him sad. He just wants me to be happy. He…”

Sunny smiled, wobbly. “I still like my big brother very much. Even if he’s a little scary sometimes. He doesn’t mean it.”

…

Kel felt that same feeling one would feel when facing a tall building teetering over them, or when being pulled underwater against one’s will. He felt the same way he did when coming down the stairs five years ago, seeing his parents embracing and crying, a note open on the table.

…

“Aubrey?” Sally waved a hand in front of her face. “Aubrey?” Sally drew out the name, calling for her.

…

Aubrey threw up, barely managing to scramble toward the small trashcan in the room. She retched, shaking her head. Sally was alarmed, quickly going to her side and awkwardly patting her back. Sunny turned, eyes glistening.

“Aubrey?” Sunny’s voice shook.

Kel remained seated, taking deep breaths.

Not now, he thought. He can’t break down now, even if the ringing in his ears was deafening.

“I’ll help Aubrey. How about you two go get her some water?” Feigned calm.

Sally nodded, getting up. Sunny instinctively followed, worry momentarily overriding what he was taught. Then, he tensed and plopped back down onto the floor. He remembered he shouldn’t walk on his own.

Kel forced himself to ignore the sight, instead soothing Aubrey as best as he could. His chest was tight as he watched her try and suppress a sob.

“I–I can’t believe he–” Aubrey shook her head, shutting her eyes tightly.

It was all too much. They were already in a state of heightened emotion due to the past two weeks of Sunny not improving, and learning this…learning this…

Kel held her firmly, trying to be a grounding presence. His head was cloudy, everything being pushed down.

“Is that–is that what Sunny remembered to become–like–?” Aubrey uncontrollably gagged once again. Kel made sure both of her braids remained out of her face. She was shivering, all blood drained from her face.

“Aubrey…?” Sunny approached the two, placing his hand on Aubrey’s back. Kel couldn’t look at him. He couldn’t bear to look at Sunny. He felt like the moment he did, he’d put images to what he’d just heard–

Not. Now. Kel ground his teeth, grasping onto what little bit of stability he had. He promised himself that later, he could go somewhere alone and–and–

“I’m sorry…” Sunny hiccupped, face crumpling. “I made you sad…” Sunny began to cry, voice pitiful.

Aubrey’s eyes jittered, and she turned abruptly, pulling Sunny into a gentle yet tight embrace. Her hand was in his hair, other arm firm around his back. 

Kel stiffened, remaining still.

“No, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Sunny.” Aubrey sobbed, unable to prevent it. She bit her lip, mind spinning. “I’m so sorry…” There was nothing else she could say. What Aubrey just heard was beyond anything she could’ve imagined, and she knew too–she knew Sunny downplayed it, because he’s…he doesn’t know.

Right now, he was so unaware of the harm done to him, blindly trusting that monster.

The monster that made him like this.

This wasn’t Sunny…even when they were younger, Sunny didn’t speak this much. He wasn’t this cheerful–this childish. He kept to himself. He was quiet, yet playful. He was shy, but so full of life.

This…child Hero molded Sunny into…wasn’t Sunny.

Teaching him to use his words, teaching him to be expressive, teaching him to be entirely dependent, teaching him to be afraid of being alone…

Kel stared at the floor, despondent. Every day he spent with Sunny when he was like this was painful. It was a constant reminder of his shortcomings, and Sunny’s suffering. If only he’d paid more attention five years ago–if only he’d found Sunny sooner.

Kel closed his eyes, trying to block out the harrowing sight of Aubrey–strong, resilient Aubrey–crying and hugging Sunny with trembling hands. Her voice carried a constant stream of apologies, one’s she knew Sunny wouldn’t even understand.

Had he…ever seen her like this?

…

Aubrey hated herself.

She thought he’d been dead all this time.

She mourned him.

Heard and expressed that he was in a better place.

What better place?

He’d been in hell. And now it lingered.

This shadow…it wouldn’t ever go away, would it?

Sunny’s smile…

It was the more woeful sight in the world.

****

“Hey, Aubrey, can you watch Sunny and Sally for me? They’re already fast asleep–it’s just in case they need something.”

Aubrey looked up from the couch, eyes puffy from earlier. She nodded, turning back to the T.V soundlessly.

Kel rigidly walked toward the front door and out of the house. His chest tightened considerably, anxiety overwhelming him the moment he left. He hadn’t left Sunny’s side at all in these past two weeks, only for a few minutes at a time. Kel couldn’t handle the thought of Sunny being this vulnerable when that bastard was still alive.

He wanted to stay behind, go back to sleep as he usually did.

But he couldn’t. He felt it stirring deep inside of himself–something rising. He needed desperately to clear his head. A short jog should be fine, right? Physical activity always helps when he feels stuffy in the head.

As he closes the door behind himself, he doesn’t see Aubrey looking on after him, brows furrowing, hands moving toward her phone.

...

It’s nice out. And, thanks to it being the middle of the night, there was no one else to bother him. He could be alone in his thoughts.

Kel jogged, not planning a direction to go.

The moon…it was the middle of the month. It was pretty.

Middle of July…

Sunny’s birthday is next week.

…

Turning twenty-one.

…

Kel didn’t know when he began to speed up, but found himself sharply intaking air, a pain in his jaw. He attempted to relax, hearing the way his teeth ground against each other, but he couldn’t.

Sunny had only gotten to live half of his life. The early half–one he probably couldn’t even remember clearly. Most of his memories were of captivity, weren’t they? Four years by choice–no, not by choice. None of it was by choice.

His misery started from an accident, and he punished himself for it for four years. And then right after…right after, the moment he might have opened his eyes to hope…

Five years, trapped away from the world. Trapped by someone he trusted, by someone they all trusted. Their older brother.

Someone to look up to.

…

Someone to hate.

…

Kel’s blurry vision didn’t stop him from going where he was most familiar, his feet guiding him to that same place he always went. The place he first made his vow.

Was he crying? It was pathetic. None of it happened to him, and yet here he was, unable to handle the weight of what he’d learned. Just by hearing of the horror, he felt his heart stutter and break, eyes narrowed as tears fell without control.

The clearing–the old hangout spot–

The lake.

Kel stood at the dock, gasping for air as sobs tore from his throat.

What could he do?

What was he supposed to do!?

He…

He just…

…

Kel stared at the reflection in the water, his tears falling and creating ripples.

The person who stared back…it was him, wasn’t it?

What had become of him?

This failure, this worthlessness…

If only he’d tried a little harder, then this wouldn’t have happened. If only he hadn’t been so stupid, believing Hero’s smile and lies all those years ago. Why did he ever trust his brother? The number of chances Kel gave him was beyond the amount he should’ve.

An idiot. A true idiot.

He was never smart.

And now he can’t even smile. The one thing he had to offer–his positivity–was gone.

What could he do?

…

No. That’s not all.

He saved Sunny. He’s been guarding Sunny. He’s there for Sunny, and Sunny…when he was in his right mind…was there for him too. They supported each other. And it’s only one-sided now, but did it matter?

Kel would never give up on him.

Not like everyone else.

Everyone else betrayed Sunny.

Betrayed him.

Nobody noticed when Kel faked his smile because they didn’t care. Just like they didn't care about Sunny.

They just wrote off Sunny and Hero as dead because why think anything else? Why believe Hero was anything other than perfect?

He wasn’t.

He just tricked everyone into thinking he was.

He…tricked Sunny.

Tricked, manipulated, trapped, scarred–

When Sunny was himself, and even when he wasn’t…he was afraid of Hero.

A kid just doesn’t know better.

“Big brother told me that I’m perfect.”

“Yeah?”

"Mhm! I’m perfect, which means I shouldn’t change.”

Kel’s feet drew him from the dock, toward the old picnic blanket–toward a large, old tree.

“Who are you talking to, Sunny?”

“Omori! My best friend!”

“I…I see. Do you talk to him a lot?”

“All of the time! He’s my favorite. Ah, but I like you too! And my big brother!”

Kel clenched his fists, breathing labored.

“What’s so scary about outside?”

“Everyone’s evil and dirty! I’ll get hurt really bad, which is scary! And…if I get hurt, then…”

“Then what?”

“…My big brother just wants me to be happy. He’ll…make it up to me.”

“Make it up to you? Like cook?”

“…”

Kel tasted blood.

“The blanket is…t–too heavy…”

“Sorry, let me take it off of you.”

“R–Really? I thought maybe…”

“Thought what?”

“I thought I did something bad.”

Kel experienced the intense feeling of a fall.

“How old are you?”

“Huh?”

“I just want to know how old you are.”

“I–I’m…I’m a kid!”

“How old? What’s the number?”

“I’m…a kid. I’m a kid.”

The wind in his face blew away his already collapsing reason, bit by bit.

“Has Hero ever hurt you?”

“Never! He makes sure I don’t get hurt. I’m very safe!”

“Does he get mad?”

“…Not at me.”

“What does that mean?”

“He gets angry at the mirror.”

Bit by bit…

“Does he ever scare you?”

“…Big brother doesn’t mean it.”

“How does he scare you?”

“It’s…it’s silly.”

“It’s not silly to me.”

“…His eyes.”

“His eyes?”

“Omori reminds me to look at them.”

“Why?”

“…”

The sound of the leaves…

“Can you not answer?”

“Omori says…eyes can’t lie. And…”

“And?”

“My big brother…lies a lot.”

Kel pulls his arm back.

“About what?”

“I don’t know. I can’t tell.”

“But you know he’s lying?”

“I know.”

“Because of his eyes?”

“Mhm. They look…they look like…”

Kel swings.

“…They look like I’m in danger.”

His fist collides with the tree, causing a resounding thud. His whole arm tenses up, knuckles cracking as he gasps for air, eyes bloodshot. He could feel the bark digging into and under his skin, the tree not budging from the hit in the slightest.

…

He rears his left arm back and punches the tree again.

…

Again with his right.

…

Left.

Right.

Left.

Right–

It stings. It aches. His arms hurt from the tips of his fingers to his biceps, trailing to his shoulders at each impact.

Over and over and over, he punches.

He imagines it’s someone else.

He imagines their sick, disgusting smile.

He imagines their hideous demeanor.

He imagines their poisonous words and horrifying actions.

He imagines their joy, the one achieved at the cost of everyone's misery.

He imagines them dying.

He imagines himself killing them.

He imagines Hero.

…

“Kel…”

It hurts, but for once, it’s not in his head.

“Kel.”

He can get rid of it.

“Kel!”

He can end the suffering for good.

“KEL!”

Kel jerks back, swinging his head around.

…Basil?

“What are you doing!?” Basil looked distraught.

“I’d like to ask the same thing.” Kel furrowed his brows, still breathing heavily. “What the hell are you doing here?” His head was still empty, pain shooting up his arms. Every thought was focused on before–the visions of him finally putting an end to their pain.

“Aubrey messaged me that she was worried. Good thing she did! What are you thinking!?” Basil stomped forward, ignoring how Kel tensed at the action. “You’re bleeding!”

“Don’t be dramatic.” Kel sneered, clenching his fists despite his body’s protests. “I’m just letting off some steam.”

“You–” Basil grit his teeth, shoulders hunched. He stared at Kel, scowling. “That’s not letting off steam! You’re hurting yourself!”

Kel rolled his eyes. “I used to do this all the time with a boxing bag. It’s stress relief.”

“That’s a fucking tree!” Basil burst, gesturing wildly. “That’s like punching a concrete wall!”

“So?”

“It’s self-harm!”

Kel tensed, caught off guard. His eyes grew colder. “That’s not a term you can just throw around, Basil.”

“I can go down the list of reasons why I know that’s what you’re doing!” Basil’s eyes were wide. Kel laughed.

“Alright, sure. Tell me how punching a tree to let off some steam is self-harm.” Kel said it mockingly, moving to put his hands into his pockets. He couldn’t, finding it too painful with the open wounds. He naturally held his hands back at his sides.

“This is your desperate attempt to feel in control!”

“What?”

“You’re trying to vent out your feelings, but you’re making yourself feel pain to do it. Let me guess, everything wasn’t as overwhelming while you were punching that damn tree, bleeding and bruising yourself.”

Kel stared. “And?”

“Feelings are tough to handle, right? Isn’t it better if all you’re fighting is physical pain? It’s a great distraction!” Basil smiled wide. “You know what we can’t fight? Literally anything Sunny has experienced! We can’t do a thing! I wonder, who you imagined that tree was!?”

Kel’s eyes wavered, only briefly. His gaze hardened.

“You can’t put it into words, right!? Just how awful this all is! You’ve been by Sunny’s side for two weeks straight without fail–how’s it been seeing just how broken he really is!?”

“Don’t call him that.” Kel clenched his jaw, glaring down at Basil. “He’s not broken.”

“I wonder what you’ve learned over the past weeks! Kids don’t have filters, yeah!?” Basil was almost hysterical, tears catching on his lashes. “Do you blame yourself? Because I hate myself! I blame myself every day for not going with him to get snacks five years ago!”

Kel remained silent.

“Do you feel like you didn’t do enough!? That you’re worthless!?” Basil cried, wiping his eyes. “That you deserve it? That you deserve pain!? You’re thinking, what right do I have to be upset? Sunny’s the one who experienced hell!” Basil laughed, mocking, almost. “This short-term relief you’re feeling, is it so great? How are you going to feel tomorrow when Sunny asks what happened to your hands!?”

“Your way of coping is self-destruction!” Basil’s hysterical voice quieted. “Sound familiar?”

Kel lunged, and Basil dodged.

“Don’t fucking compare me to that monster!” Kel roared, enraged. “Why does everyone keep doing it!?”

“If the shoe fits!” Basil avoided another blow. “Face reality, Kel! The difference between you and me is that I live in my disgusting, miserable feelings. You run from them!”

Kel landed a hit, the pain of his fist hitting Basil unexpected. It made him recoil. He stared at his hand, in disbelief. Had he…really injured himself that badly? His eyes trailed back to Basil, and instead of acknowledging any possibility that Basil was right, he allowed more anger to blind him.

Kel leaned back, no longer trying to hit him. Basil noticed and laughed. “You can’t use your hands, right!? You hurt them! You hurt yourself, I was right, and you know it!”

“At least I’m not a fucking creep like you!” Kel shot back, unwilling to admit it. “At least I’m not enjoying Sunny’s suffering!”

“What!?” Basil looked genuinely shocked, eyes flashing with hurt. “Are you saying I do!?”

“You think I’m blind!?” Kel scoffed, hunched over. As if hands were pulling at the corners of his lips, his mouth stretched into a mockery of a smile, unnatural and unsettling. His eyes were wide. “I see right through you, Basil!”

Basil’s face scrunched up. “How could you think that!?” Basil cried out, shaking his head. “You think I enjoy seeing him like that!? A shell of himself!?”

“Well, you kind of give yourself away, don’t you?” Kel kept that same expression, a distorted visage of what it was supposed to be. “I see how happy you get when he clings to you. That first day, when he turned away from me…don’t think I didn’t see your hesitation to tell me what was happening. I saw you debate telling me where Sunny was.”

Basil lowered his head, looking away. “I’m not proud of that. But obviously, I chose Sunny’s well-being. I told you after a short minute. If it’s for Sunny’s happiness, I will always let go, and you know this.”

“Okay.” Kel tilted his head. “Then stay away.”

“What?”

“Don’t come over anymore.” Kel’s eyes lidded, face returning to stoic neutrality, with a hint of disdain. “I’m not going to risk you suddenly deciding that you’re going to give in to whatever fucked up desires you have.”

Basil stood still, body slack. His eyes jittered, tears falling at an alarming rate. “You…what do you think of me as?” Basil’s mouth pulled into a pained grimace. “How could you think that I want anything other than for Sunny to get better? Why would I enjoy being around him when he’s so broken?”

“I said don’t call him that!” Kel snapped, taking a bold step forward. “I see everything, Basil! I’m always watching and observing! You light up when Sunny goes to you! You relish in his attention and touch! I’ve been ignoring it because Sunny’s happy with you around, and I thought it would help him! But now I think you probably don’t even want him to get better! After all, won’t he stop clinging to you!?”

Basil’s face fell further and further, and the crying turned to full-blown sobs. “I don’t get it!” Basil shouted, voice cracking as he shook his head. “I don’t understand!”

He lifted his head, staring into Kel’s frigid eyes.

“Why do you hate me so much!?” Basil grabbed the fabric of his overalls. “I’m–I’m doing the best I can! You know I–I went to therapy before Sunny was taken, and I learned about coping mechanisms. Healthy and unhealthy. And since then, I’ve been trying so hard to manage all of my bad feelings!"

“What could you possibly be doing?”

“I garden! I write in a journal and log my feelings. I draw, and I even exercise by running! The drawing and journaling may not be completely healthy since they revolve around Sunny, but it keeps me in check! When my head gets–when it gets all weird, and I’m thinking selfishly, I do one of those things! And it works! It calms me down, and those feelings dampen! In the past, I–”

Basil bit his lip, unable to look at Kel any longer. The cold gaze was just too much. “I…I wouldn’t eat. It was my fault Sunny disappeared, because I didn’t follow him that day. So I just…wouldn’t eat. It’s only because of Aubrey making me stay healthy and snapping me out of it that I…”

Basil opened wept, shaking his head. “I just…when I saw you punching the tree, I couldn’t help but try and say something. You…I don’t want you to fall victim to what I did. I didn’t mean to compare you to him, but whenever I do, you usually listen. I just…thought it’d be the same this time.”

“I’m sorry. It was wrong of me.” Basil trembled. “I just…you’re my friend, Kel. You saved Sunny. And…he looks at you like you’re the most important person in the world. He trusts you completely. It’s to the point where even when Sunny’s like this, he still turns to you whenever he’s not feeling well.”

“I can’t say I’m not jealous. I’ve thought about what it’d be like if I saved him instead. But I didn’t save him. I don’t think I ever could’ve. Aubrey was barely able to hold me together…I'm a pathetic mess. But you’re different. You…you’re strong. You’re determined. And without you…”

Basil shut his eyes tightly, voice cracking. “Sunny would've been stuck forever, with no one to save him. He would’ve believed that everyone abandoned him. He was mourned when he wasn’t even dead. How cruel is that?”

It was silent for a while, just the gentle sound of the wind filling the space.

“…I hated all of you. I think I still do.”

Basil’s head snapped up, seeing Kel looking forward, staring at nothing. The words were harsh, yet tired.

“Everyone gave up on him. No one was searching. They wrote him off as dead, tragically, and mourned him alongside my brother. I had to see Sunny and Hero be grieved together, despite knowing Hero had taken him.”

Kel's shoulders hunched. “Do you know how hard it was…? I had to see everyone cry over Hero and Sunny, mourning their death’s as tragic and unavoidable. I had to see everyone be moved by their choice to go together, talking about how they’re truly brothers. In life and in death.” Kel chuckled, hands limp by his sides.

“Everyone was relying on me to smile and move on. I had to pretend for so long that I didn’t resent every single person around me. Their condolences were unwanted. My parents were even worse, losing two sons…”

Kel covered his eyes. “I don’t get it. I never did. Even if they had died, and those notes were true…how could everyone still call it a tragic fate? Hero was older than Sunny, and not too earlier that summer, Sunny was already suicidal. Hero could easily coax Sunny into returning to that state. It would’ve been Hero’s fault. Why did everyone view it as a choice they both made together?”

His eyes trailed toward the lake. “I had to listen to all that bullshit for two years. And then I left. I could finally work toward my goal, the vow I made. I was going to save Sunny. I did save Sunny. But…I screwed up and didn’t call the police immediately. I’m too one-track-minded. I’m still stupid after all these years.”

Kel finally looked at Basil, helpless. “I just wanted…and still want to protect Sunny and make sure Hero never comes back again. He ruined everything. I want him dead. Is that so wrong? After all he did to us, to Sunny…” Kel began to cry, the tightness in his chest returning tenfold. “What me and Aubrey learned today…It made her vomit.”

Basil tensed. “What…what happened?”

Kel spoke before he could even think. “You’re right. Kids don’t lie.”

Kel then described all Sunny said, the whole conversation burned into his mind. He even mentioned the drawings, not sparing Basil any of the horrors.

Basil’s eyes were vacant, minutely shaking his head. And yet, he knew. “It’s probably worse than he describes it. Was that the reason…Sunny woke up like that?” He managed to stay at least somewhat calm, but was visibly shaking. “So that’s why…you came out tonight.”

“Yeah.” Kel looked down at his hands. “Can you blame me for turning to this?”

“…No.” Basil sighed. “But…please. Please find some other way of handling it. If you rely on something like this…I worry it’ll get worse.” Basil then held his arm. “When I get home, I’m going to draw and journal immediately. That’s how I’ll handle it. And also…probably cry with Aubrey.” Basil shrugged, sheepish. “Sometimes…one of the best ways to feel better is just to let it all out…vocally.”

“Scream?” Kel rose a brow. “Fair enough.”

“I didn’t say that, but whatever you need, I guess?” Basil fidgeted.

“…I was kidding.” Kel’s expression softened, chuckling lightly. “I’ll be sure to cry more, heard it helps relieve stress. And…I guess I can listen to music? I still have my old Walkman. Maybe I’ll get one of those mp3 players I’ve heard about?” Kel scratched the back of his head.

“Music is a good option!” Basil nodded encouragingly.

“Maybe when I get Sunny to come outside again, we can continue our walks. I did always feel better after them. Running while giving a piggyback ride was a great way to clear my head.”

Basil smiled. “I’m glad you have outlets.”

Kel rubbed his forehead. “I feel weird getting advice from you. You seem very unreliable.”

“That’s fair.” Basil readily agreed, with no hesitation. “But, I’m just relaying advice I was given a few years ago. So, don’t take it as being my wisdom or something.”

“Alright,” Kel said, reaching forward and patting Basil’s shoulder. “I…I’ll work on the resentment, too. I kind of ignore it.” Like most things, Kel added in his head.

“I mean, it’s reasonable. I hate most people in general too.” Basil shrugged. “Anyways, I…I’m sorry about what I said. I hope you know you’re nothing like Hero. It was a terrible way of getting you to listen.”

Kel nodded, electing to ignore Basil’s vaguely ominous words. “I'm glad you think so, at least. I think sometimes I just…I wonder, you know? With how anxious I am, always looking over my shoulder…I wonder if I’m no different. Especially after Mikhael…”

“You’re a lot more justified, I’ll tell you that.” Basil snorted. “Also, you want Sunny to be happy, first and foremost. You want him to go outside and be independent. Honestly, I’ve…been struggling with those thoughts too. Thinking I’m no different. But Aubrey reminded me that I am.”

“…Aubrey’s a good friend.” The image of her crying, holding Sunny close, would remain in his mind for years to come.

“She’s really cool.” Basil nodded, shuffling his feet. “She’s kind of like my big sister at this point…” Basil then flushed. “I mean, well…”

“I get it.” Kel went to put his hand in his pockets out of habit then winced, swearing under his breath. “Damnit…”

“Want me to patch that up for you?”

“I’d appreciate the help.” Kel sighed, a lump in his throat. He felt ashamed. He didn’t think of it as anything bad, just letting off some steam. But everything Basil had said was true. He really did run from his feelings.

It was just too much to handle.

...But this was his first step, right?

This fight they had…it was important.

Maybe now things could begin to change.

...

Kel hoped the change would spread to other things too.

****

“Are you okay?”

Kel expected the question, and yet it still hurt having to answer. “Yeah, I’m…I’m alright.” It’s not like he could confess what he’d really been thinking to Sunny. Sunny, who grabbed his hands with a feather-light touch, brows creased in worry.

“Does it hurt?” Sunny frowned, staring at his bandaged hands. A flash of recognition was there, as if Sunny wasn’t completely new to the image. Kel felt bile rise in his throat, figuring who Sunny might be comparing him to.

“A little bit.” Kel shrugged weakly, looking away.

“I can kiss it better!” Sunny tried to cheer him up, lifting and gently pecking both of Kel’s hands. Kel felt helpless at the sight. It was endearing and yet so, so harrowing to see. It was only morning, and already Kel felt exhausted.

“Are you hungry? I’ll make breakfast for us.” Kel remembered his parents coming in to take Sally. They mentioned needing to talk to him later, and he wondered what it was about. They’d looked emotional.

Sunny nodded, eyes full of trust. “Okay!” He then lifted his arms in a practiced motion. “Let’s go eat!”

Kel nodded, moving to pick him up–

…

“I…I’m sorry, Sunny. I can’t carry you today. My arms are sore too.” He was a real jackass, wildly punching something so sturdy.

Sunny blinked rapidly. “Then…who will carry me?”

They silently stared at each other. Kel opened his mouth, about to offer to bring up the food. But then, he had an idea.

“Maybe you can walk on your own?” Kel tilted his head. “You walked on the first day you came here, right? It wasn’t so hard.”

Sunny looked like he’d eaten a lemon. “But…that’s no good.”

“Why not?”

“It’s dangerous.”

“Aren’t I right here?” Kel crouched beside the bed, making his head level. “You know I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Sunny pursed his lips. “But I’m very clumsy…I’ll just get hurt.”

“I promise you won’t.” Kel reached forward. “I’ll hold your hand too. Nothing’s going to happen to you.”

“Big brother says…I’m too young,” Sunny said as much, but his hand began to reach forward, grasping onto Kel’s.