Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Snowflakes, freshly fallen from the clouds above, drifted onto Noelle's face, fluttering onto her eyelashes and making themselves home on her brown, tousled fur. Giggling, she huffed out, watching her warm breath make a small cloud of white into the air, then dissipating, now one with the atmosphere. She repeated this action, nose scrunching in delight each time, then felt a misshapen sphere of snow knock upon her neck. 

Jerking her head backward, she saw her best friend and neighbor, Kris, staring at her, their crimson eyes wide and filled with mischief. Covering their mouth with a shivering hand, they used the other to hurl form and hurl a snowball, all while maintaining eye contact.  

Like a deer in headlights, Noelle watched as it approached her, whooshing with the wind, then finally crashing only a few yards away. Seeing that she was temporarily safe, she squealed in excitement and began to make her own snowball. 

After a moment of arduous labor on her part, a lumpy clump of snow was finally formed, the crystals beginning to melt and spill onto the ground, the withered grass now exposed. Holding it close to her chest, she shuddered as her body seemed to absorb the coldness, integrating it into her very soul.

Pressing her paws deeply upon it, she brought her arm back and attempted to throw it with all her might, which, for a very determined 12-year-old monster, was not very much. 

Nevertheless, the snowball began to take flight into the air, even going a few yards, before unceremoniously falling onto the ground, causing Kris to snort in laughter. 

Feeling her cheeks heat up, she scoffed, "That was… just a warm-up!" 

Laughing hysterically, Kris backed away, what was exposed of their cheeks turning a pale shade of pink in delight. Their breath quickened as it became harder and harder to control it, spilling out from their mouth like water from a hose. Finally, they wheezed, "And begging Alphys to let you work with Susie for the winter book project was just practice for an actual groupmate!" 

Jumping away, she screamed, "Shut up, Kris!" 

Cackling wildly, Kris in fact did not shut up and continued their teasing, wandering closer to their best friend and putting an arm around them. 

Making a kissy face, they exclaimed, "Will you let me be the flower girl at the wedding?" They began to grab at their sides and nearly fell onto the ground in glee. 

Her fur now nearly the color of a ripe strawberry in the spring, she groaned, "Shut up shut up shut u-"

Finally, their joy offered Noelle a reprieve from her most painful suffering when Kris began to lose their ability to form coherent sentences, resorting to singing an off-key version of "Here Comes the Bride."

Finally, Noelle, having decided to end this madness, formed a lumpy snowball and chucked it at Kris, who plummeted to the ground, their once sleek hair now covered in snow and some grass. 

"Take that!! Who's the real winner now?" She boasted upon seeing her apparent victory, sauntering over to the form on the ground, who only gave a muffled response. 

Slowly rising up, they began to laugh yet again, this time much more erratic. While doing so, they ran a small hand through their chestnut hair, which had grown tangled during the debacle. Once it began to look slightly less like a rat's nest, they slammed their hand onto the pants, which had large clumps of snow adorning the fabric. 

They took a step closer, their warm breath heating up Noelle's snout. She watched in faux horror as they whispered, "You may have thought you were safe, but I have a secret weapon."

Before she could react, Asriel emerged from seemingly nowhere and gently tossed a snowball to Kris, who threw at her with all their might, wildly cackling the whole time.

The college student snorted at the scene, bringing a fluffy paw to rub Kris' head.

"You are such a weird kid," he remarked to his sibling, who only brought him into a tight hug, nearly squishing him to death. 

"I'll be here for a while," he laughed, his white fur blending into the snow, "you can let go now."

Kris, who had wrapped their arms around their brother, only squeezed them harder and shook their head. 

After a pause, Asriel reciprocated the hug, pulling Kris up to his shoulder height and shaking them, laughing about how many crazy things he had to tell them about his first year of college.

Kris began to laugh again, excitedly rambling about how much had happened since he left and how different the town was without them. 

Finally, he set Kris down and motioned for Toriel's house, which proudly stood only a few steps away. 

"I heard Mom was making some pie for your return," Kris mischievously whispered, covering their mouth with their hand, which seemed to have gained some warmth from the hug. 

Meanwhile, Noelle had stayed still, a yearning to see her own sister blossoming within her chest, slowly consuming her while she watched their interaction. Once it seemed that they were about to leave, she remarked, "I should probably head home soon. It's getting late."

Asriel and Kris both nodded, attempting to bob their heads in sync. 

As she was about to leave, Asriel hastily interjected, "You may wanna say another minute or two." 

Looking back, she found none other than her older sister, who had managed to sneak behind Asriel and now jumped out to meet her. 

She had grown considerably, her horns now reaching out far above her blonde hair and nearly intersecting. They also seemed to be almost damaged, their once bright color slightly faded from the weather. In contrast, her outfit, which Noelle frequently remembered as being untidy and messy, now seemed to have become much neater, with her donning a crisp white shirt the color of the snow under a blazer that looked like it cost as much as her tuition. It was a deep cream color and contrasted nicely with her black pants, which loosely hung under a silver belt. 

Despite it all, it was still her older sister, arms wide and ready to embrace her once more. 

"Dess!" She cried out, quickly racing to greet her. 

"Noelle!"

"Noelle!" 

Kris cried out to her, shaking her limp form against the freezing floor of Cyber City.

Reluctantly, she forced an eye open, only to see her companion kneeling on the floor with tears in their eyes. They wore a suit of armor, which reflected the nearly overwhelming light and bustle of CuberWorld onto her, giving the illusion of a halo of artificial brightness. She rubbed a paw against her eye and groaned, nearly going back into her deep slumber. 

Kris hesitantly stepped back, bringing their hand to shield their eyes, which almost seemed to be wet with tears. Before Noelle could contemplate this possibility, their posture stiffened and their blue skin seemed to turn a shade paler than before, absorbing the fluorescent glow of the world which they had been thrust into. 

After a pause, they slumped to the ground, nearly passing out onto the ground, which seemed to be quite dirty.

Alarmed, Noelle rushed to them, grabbing their left arm before their limp form could fully fall. She pulled them up, bringing their arm to rest around her shoulder and allowing them to rest their weight on her.

Once they were fully in their grasp, they began to cough rapidly. Soon, the sound was all she could hear, digging into her ears, which were nearly next to their face. 

Beginning to jolt in place, Noelle set them gently on the ground, watching as they mindlessly grabbed for anything they could reach, the only thing being the frozen husk of a monster previously encountered.

Digging their fingernails into the coldness, all they could do was attempt to wait for it to die down while they continued to cough. Clinging onto the monster like a vice, they nearly succeeded in pulling themselves onto it, only to collapse onto the ground with a sickening thump. 

After several pain-filled moments, they finally managed to stop, now jerking their head towards Noelle, who remained frozen in place after setting them down. 

They began to take in air as if they had nearly drowned, inhaling the much-needed oxygen rapidly into their lungs and feeling them expand due to the pressure. Suddenly, their breath began to quicken and they nearly entered another coughing fit, only to grow silent. 

Ever so quietly, they whispered, "Proceed."

Chapter Text

"W-What?" Noelle asked, shaking her head and seeing that her antlers nearly hit Kris. Upon that realization, she only continued in her endeavors, allowing her horns to wildly trash above her head. 

Putting a hand to their face, Kris stood up, backing away from Noelle in slow, steady paces. Once they were a few yards away, they turned around, their armored back facing the deer. 

"I- just... go on!" They exclaimed, standing up and pointing to the frozen Poppup , who was still very much dead. 

"What do you mean, Kris?" She asked, gently approaching their friend, who shuddered in response, their slight shoulders coming up to meet their neck, which had scrunched up. 

Finally, they turned back, using their left hand to bring their dark hair above their faces, exposing their crimson eyes, which nearly glowed in the light. They pulled their bangs back, feeling the scalp get pulled back ever so slightly. 

Tightening their grip, they pulled harder and harder, feeling small strands of hair fall out into their hand. 

Their breath began to quicken and they averted their eyes to the deceased monster, half-expecting them to rise from their icy prison and reap its vengeance upon them. 

"Noelle, please," they begged, nearly holding themselves back by the hair. 

"No," she resolutely answered, stepping closer to them. 

"What?" Kris asked in shock, temporarily loosening their grip on their hair. 

She tugged their hand, holding it tight within her grasp. Suddenly, Kris hissed in pain as a stray bolt of the Freeze Ring's snowglobe pricked their finger, drawing a small drop of blood.

Eyes wide, they watched as it hit the floor, staining it with the shiny ruby liquid, creating a thousand versions of themselves in the reflection of that single drop. 

"Kris!" She shouted, wrapping her warm, fur-covered arms around their quivering form and tightly squishing them. 

In response, they gently reciprocated the hug and began to sob, the sound echoing throughout Cyber City. Quietly, Noelle shushed them and rubbed small circles into their back, feeling them collapse into her arms. 

Burrowing their head into her shoulder, they whispered, "I'm so scared, Noelle. I just want to go to sleep an-" and were cut off by another sob, this one long and muffled. 

Noelle paused, still shaken by their friend's outburst. After a moment of silence, only broken by Kris' sobs, she said, "It'll all be okay. Take deep breaths for me. In and out." 

Kris lifted their head and attempted to comply, only to further spiral into whatever had been plaguing them before.  Their voice raspy from crying, they all but screamed, "I don't want to die! I want to live, and play like I'm little again, a-and eat pie with Mom and Dad, and play pranks on you and Asriel, and I just don't want to leave you all because," they deeply inhaled, then shouted, "because I love you all so much and I'm scared, dammit!" 

Once they had finished, they jerked away from Noelle, only to wring their arms around her tighter. 

Noelle began to sit down, gently bringing Kris onto the floor with them, allowing them to take their time. 

Once they were seated, she used a paw to wipe at their tears, assuring them that everything would be fine, that they just needed to let it all out and she'd wait however long it took for them to calm down. 

All Kris could do in response was cry harder, feeling their head begin to get dizzy from their tears, pouring, like a fountain, clear water onto their face, dampening the skin. 

"I'm sorry, Noelle! I'm so-" they bawled, hiccuping on the last syllable, "sorry! Please, don't hate me because I-"

"Kris," she interrupted them, squeezing their wet cheeks in her hands, "You're my friend. I'll never hate you, okay?" 

Kris began to frantically nod, their breath slowly returning back to normal and ceasing to be so harsh. 

Gently, Noelle lifted her paws from their face and began to give them a small braid by their bangs. 

Tongue out in concentration, she deftly weaved the bits of hair up and behind each other, finally achieving her goal, though not without causing some to frizz and poof up. 

Smiling in satisfaction, she grabbed their hand, pulling them onto their feet, which seemed to be much less unsteady than a few moments ago. She placed a paw onto their shoulders, holding it tightly. 

"Want another moment to calm down?" She whispered to them, only for them to rapidly shake their head in response, the braid nearly falling out.

Upon noticing this, Noelle rummaged through her pockets, finally procuring a black hair-tie. She wrapped it around the braid, laughing at how much comically larger it was in proportion to it. 

Kris slowly brought their hand to touch the braid, finally offering her a small smile upon feeling how tightly wrapped the hair-tie was around their hair. 

Before she could respond, their expression turned stony once more, as if the only evidence for their pain were Noelle's memories and their red-tinted eyes, now shielded yet again by their hair. 

"Let's go," they said, pointing to their left, away from the Poppup.

Noelle tilted her head, taking a large step back. Her hooves gently tapped against the ground, echoing throughout Cyber City. She looked at them, "Are you sure?" 

Maybe now they won't pressure me into using IceShock on every enemy we encounter, her thoughts rang out in their head. 

Kris jerked their head to them, lurching their hands to their side in a rigid position. 

Noelle paused, then began to walk in the mentioned direction, Kris on her heels. 

Suddenly, a Virovirokun sprinted towards the duo, forcing them into an encounter.

Groaning, Noelle readied herself for battle, reaching her shoulders back in order to be ready to comply with Kris' orders. 

Kris, on the other hand, had stepped back from the monster, nearly falling on their back in order to escape. Slowly, their footsteps ceased and they were left about 20 paces from Noelle.

She flashed a hesitant smile to her friend, who only brought up a shield and began to defend against incoming attacks. 

The Virovirokun paced in place, nearly floating above the ground in excitement. Its neon pink head flashed, illuminating them both by covering their faces with its fluorescent light.

Looking back to Kris, Noelle heard their voice in her head, echoing the same phrase, over and over again, relentless in its pursuit.

Do IceShock. Do IceShock. Do IceShock. Do Ic-

"Fine!" She screeched, her usually silky voice cracking under the strain. Without looking, she cast the spell, feeling the coldness brush her hands, then flutter, in snowflakes, onto the monster. 

In agony, it screamed, its once taut skin now deteriorating under the unbearable ice, then freezing over, forming a large crystal, reflecting Noelle and Kris' reflections. 

After a pause, Kris dropped their shield onto the ground, both hearing it clang against the hard floor, and looked to Noelle, signaling for her to move. 

The only thing she could muster the energy to do was to wait for a sign from some god or deity urging her one way or another.

When nothing of that sort came, she acquiesced to their demand. 

Chapter Text

Trailing behind, Noelle began to follow Kris, who remained silent. She raced to them, attempting to follow the steady pace that they set, one foot after the other, gently tapping against the hard floor. 

Unable to take the quietness, she began to hum to herself, swaying her head to the non-existent beat. Her companion raised an eyebrow at her, who only laughed in response. 

Although she was out of tune, Kris could clearly make out the melody.

Lips quivering, Kris reached towards Noelle, who ran to her friend as fast as she should. They grasped their hurt knee, wincing upon feeling pain, stinging and hot, up their leg. 

Noelle looked around. The woods that they had been playing in featured several spruce trees, which sprung up from the ground and laid their shadows across the path that was made up of pale dirt, creating a rudimentary road for cars and monsters (and Kris) alike. The largest tree, which towered above all the others, had pale, golden leaves, which soaked up the sun and allowed for it to trickle onto the ground in several bright beams, the biggest of which shone on Kris, who lay flat on the ground.  

To their left, a small, white rabbit had begun to hop over to them, delicately bringing its nose up to sniff at the fresh air, deeply taking it in and allowing the oxygen to fill its tiny lungs. 

Noelle considered it to be their adult supervision for the day. 

Her maroon eyes, now made a rich honey color by the excess sunlight, began to glisten with tears as she watched her injured friend lay, in pain, on the ground. Frantically, she searched her checkered pockets for a band-aid, which she was able to find in a few seconds.

"Aha!" she whispered to herself, careful not to startle Kris.  

Holding it, she faintly noticed a snowflake pattern stitched onto the plastic, cerulean on top of the mint base, creating the illusion of depth. She brought it closer to her face, paws shaking at the daunting prospect of removing its packaging.

Finally, she began to peel off the white covering and took of the flaps, gently pressing it on Kris' injured knee, craving to somehow make it better in any way that truly mattered. 

They looked to both of their knees, then to Noelle. "Thank you," they murmured, beginning to stand up. 

"You okay?" she asked, using her arm to assist her friend, who gladly took it. 

They only awkwardly nodded their head, their sleek hair reflecting the sunlight onto Noelle's face. 

Eyes suddenly regaining their spark, they began to pester their friend, jumping around them in circles and grabbing her arm, dancing with them under the sunlight. 

"Now all we need is a song!" they exclaimed, beginning a crude waltz, missing just about every non-existent beat. 

Laughing, Noelle began to hum a tune, the sound reverberating onto the trees, to the ground, and to the pale sky above. 

They continued in their endeavors, free for a brief moment, the sun beaming down onto them, illuminating their forms. 

Finally, Kris attempted to dip Noelle, lowering their arm around her waist and letting her nearly fall to the ground, her ginger hair touching the leaves strewn across their impromptu ballroom.

They broke away, Kris bowing to Noelle in a childish display of chivalry. 

"My lady, I will now escort you to your beloved Princess Susie," they said, heavily rolling their r s. 

"Shut up, Kris!" she shouted, beginning to run away while they made kissy faces. They chased her, telling her about how absolutely fantastic the wedding will be and that they will make the most spectacular flower girl. 

Noelle stopped, heavily panting and looking up into the sky, now clouded by the night. Stars, scattered throughout, began to emerge into her view, adding bursts of light into the darkness.

Suddenly, she saw a cluster of meteors fly across the sky, leaving tiny trails of dust in their wake. 

"Kris! Look!" she motioned to her friend, who stared up, their eyes wide. For a fleeting amount of time, they both were totally immersed in their surroundings, uncaring about anything else but then and now.

Once the meteor shower had ended, Noelle looked to her friend. 

"Kris?" She called their name, shaking their shoulder.

They only looked at her, still distracted by what had just previously happened. 

"I think we'll be okay." 

"Huh?" Kris asked, turning to face Noelle, "What did you say?"

She jumped back, nearly slipping on the now sleek floor of Cyber City, seeing her reflection in the glossy tiles stare at her, eyes wide.

"I… Did I speak aloud again?" She asked, crouching to observe how she looked, her coral hair partially blocking her face. Taking a long strand into her paw, she felt it weave around her fingers, which tightly grasped it.

"Yeah," they said, fiddling with their hands, "You did." Their voice, once rich and full, now sounded hollow and dull, barely leaving their throat. 

Kris brought their arms to hug their body, gently rocking themself in place. As they swayed, Noelle could tell that they had closed their eyes and were close to falling asleep where they stood. 

Standing up, she began to approach Kris, who stood, motionless, their posture still. 

"That song," they began, finally shifting the balls of their feet on the shiny ground. They released their grasp then held one of their own hands in the other, tightly squeezing it, the skin turning from an ocean blue to a cyan. Silently, they squished their fingers in a futile attempt to ground themself, feeling them push against each other. 

"It's just," they said, "It's very familiar." Like a fish, they opened their mouth then immediately shut it, refusing to elaborate. They let go of their hand, feeling the blood flow back into it.

"We danced to it, a while ago," she whispered, beginning to walk ever so slightly. 

Suddenly, Kris turned in the opposite direction and began to tread towards the dumpster, dragging Noelle along by the paw.

They began to walk faster, breaking into a light run and feeling the wind brush against their short hair, gently blowing it out of their face. A stray strand fell into their mouth, which they blew out of their way.

Finally, they slowed down, reaching the presumed destination: the dumpster.

They lurched forward, leaning over to listen to the voice inside, which gave a weak groan. 

"[Angel], [Angel]," it began, shaking from within, causing its encasement to rattle , the sound echoing throughout the room, nearly dominating the sound of its speech, "ARE YOU LOOKING FOR THE [Ring] OF [Thorns]?" 

Chapter Text

Kris awkwardly nodded their head, holding out their hand to receive the Ring of Thorns.

"THaT'LL be 1997 KROMER," it shouted, its small voice muffled by the decrepit walls of the dumpster, which were a dingy green, tainted by various stains. 

"Y-Yes," Kris said, their face to the floor, chin to the harsh armor of their chest. They winced once its coldness brushed them, quickly bringing their head up to face this dumpster demon. 

Faintly, Noelle realized that their voice sounded strained, as if they had been crying for a lot longer than she initially thought. 

Kris looked to Noelle, their slight form shaking under. Their ruby eyes, usually obscured under their dark bangs, now stared at her, deep into her soul, nearly reading her thoughts. 

At that moment, they seemed to be more like an ocean of blood than any sort of jewels.  

But to her, they were the very pinnacle of power.  

They shifted their gaze to her, waiting for a response. 

At that moment, all she longed to do was scream, cry, run out of the dumpster and tear Kris- then whatever had been plaguing them limb from limb, more a lion than a lamb of any sort. 

The voice cut off her pondering, "HERE'S YOUR [Ring]! CAREFUL, IT MIGHT [Sting] EAHEAHEAH!!" 

It reached a small, pale hand out of the dumpster and precariously dropped a small ring onto Kris' outstretched palm. 

As it dropped, Noelle saw small, wooden thorns on the inside and out. It, relatively small and compact, seemed to be made by an experienced woodworker, not a jeweler, evidenced by the intricate designs etched onto the wood. 

The most notable was a portrait of a human and two monsters, all embracing each other. Behind them, greenery of all sorts appeared, vines and flowers twisting around their delicate forms. Contrasting with the artistry, the thorns spiked out, each razor-sharp and making her wince in imaginary pain. 

Finally, it reached Kris's palm, who winced in pain as it dug into their hand, drawing small drops of blood, staining the pale wood of the ring. Their breath increased as white-hot agony ripped through their hand, making a home in their body. 

Suddenly, they attempted to wear the ring, prickling every vulnerable part of their finger, deeply engraving itself into their body. They cried out in pain as they only pulled the ring down their finger, blood beginning to flow down from the wound, which was rapidly expanding. 

They knelt onto the ground, tears beginning to spring in their eyes, which were wild with a primal panic, desperate to be free of this foreign object. They brought their head to the ground, laying in the fetal position, their head touching their knees, which rapidly shook from the pain. 

Whimpering from pain, they brought their non-injured hand to rest at their head, grabbing at their hair, finally reaching the braid Noelle gave them.

Without thinking, they tugged out it, shaking their head in an attempt to rid themselves of their agony.

Noelle, who had been frozen in fear, finally gained the courage to move and ran to Kris, bringing their arm up and yanking at the ring, only succeeding in driving it deeper. 

They hissed as their pain multiplied, like a wave, crashing into them and rendering them lightheaded. It was as if they were at the beach with their family, tumbling under the crashing crests of the ocean, unable to bring their head up. 

Finally, they jerked their hand towards the ring, firmly grasping it in their uninjured fingers. With a strong pull, they succeeded in tugging it off, faintly hearing it clink on the ground.

Their breath now a series of heavy pants, they lay, motionless, on the ground, feeling dizzy and exhausted. They looked at their injured finger, which was covered in a myriad of small wounds, reminding them of when they were in primary school and first discovered papercuts. 

"Kris," Noelle shouted, gently pressing against their arm with her paw, "Why did you do that?" 

"I don't know," Kris sobbed out, their form seemingly glued to the floor, refusing to move.

"I don't know!" they repeated, feeling it become a mantra, filling their head with the same three words, a dissolute symphony. Suddenly, they shook their head. nearly banging it on the ground each time, yet refusing to allow that to deter them.

All Noelle could think of was that time, all those years ago, when Kris had mirrored their former self in the forest. The only difference seemed to be the placement of injury, but aside from that, it was almost as if they were five years younger than a few seconds ago.

Frantically, she checked her purse for any healing items, tossing away her dirty mirror and cherry chapstick in desperation. 

After a pause, she was unable to find anything and nearly screamed in frustration. 

She seriously considered searching the trash for a band-aid when her thoughts were interrupted. 

"SEEMS LIKE YOU ARE IN A [Pickle]!" The voice rang out, cackling wildly. Without warning, the cover of the dumpster opened and a tiny salesman emerged from it. 

His skin, which was extremely pale, seemed to gleam under the dingy lighting, nearly reflecting onto the two teenagers. The only blemish she could make was a small stain near his mouth, which seemed to be moss, of all things. 

His cheeks, colored a deep red by what Noelle observed to be a sharpie, were hastily drawn on, giving him a clownish appearance. 

The short monster's dark hair, nearly the same shade of black as Kris', glistened and shone with a suspiciously saliva-like hair product. 

He donned a suit that seemed to be a very similar color to his hair, a deep charcoal that reflected all the light that was shone upon it, which Noelle faintly wondered if it was the same material as the hair that covered his head. 

Overall, she found him to be quite disgusting.

The rancid little creature sauntered out of the dumpster, his unproportionally-sized nose nearly hitting the cover, quite proud of himself.

He went to Kris and patted their head, somehow immediately rejuvenating them and healing them to maximum HP. Without saying another word, he went back into his residence and closed the cover.

Kris, in awe, stood up and gently picked up the ring, careful not to injure themself. Their pale blue skin seemed to gain some color and they looked to Noelle, who hesitantly took a step closer. 

Without missing a beat, they called her name, "Noelle!" 

She smiled, lowering eyes to see the ring, which was now crusted with dry, crimson blood. 

"Let me throw it out for you," she gently said, holding out her palm to get rid of the ring for once and for all. Her paw began to shake, the beige fur nearly shedding from the constant motion. 

Kris averted their gaze, still holding the ring. They stepped away, the sound of their boots hitting the floor ringing throughout the room, only succeeding in emphasizing the silence that had begun to overtake them. 

Their voice strained, they said, "Noelle, you need to put on the ring."

Chapter Text

Eyes wide in shock, Noelle stepped back, nearly banging onto the walls of the dumpster. She brought a paw to her ginger hair, once sleek and healthy, which now seemed to constantly frizz and fray. Awkwardly, she fumbled for a hair-tie and brought her paw to her head, putting it in a low ponytail, though most of the strands seemed to tumble out.

Bringing her head to rest against the walls, she gave a breathy groan, beginning to lose her grip on the world.

"Kris yo-" she began, her voice faltering, "-you can't be serious!"

Kris only brought their head to face hers, their expression blank. After a pause, they flexed their blue hand, their armor creaking due to its use. 

The sound echoed throughout the room, filling it with what felt to be distorted shrieks, slowly invading her senses, making its way into her very being. 

They sighed, a weak and subdued cry escaping their lips, which had been tightly shut just a moment before.

"Noelle," they took a step closer, their legs shaking, "You need to put on the ring." 

She shook her head, craving for her antlers to strike Kris down, pacifying them. Her eyes flitted across the room, the brown and white so rapidly switching places that it felt like her pupils might burst, permanently mixing the two.

"No!" she protested, grabbing at her hair and longing to tug as hard as she could, severing her scalp from her head. 

Kris took a step closer, their armor clacking due to their shaking. They paused, finally whispering, "Yo- we need to get stronger, Noelle. There's no other way." They spat out these words as if they were coated in acid, poisoning their tongue and filling them with indescribable pain. 

"No! You'll kill me at this rate," she pleaded, hesitantly coming closer to their friend, who was seized by tremors. 

They began to bring the hand not holding the ring to their chest, clenching their fist on top of the armor, shaking their head, momentarily exposing their crimson eyes.  

All Noelle could notice were their tears, flowing down like a waterfall, marring their face with salty water.

Finally, she cracked a gentle smile, lifting up her snout. She began, "Kris, you don't want to do this. You don't have to do this. We can just forget this ever happened and go on." 

This time, it was Noelle who went closer, throwing her arms around Kris, who had been rooted to the ground, barely moving at all.

She tightened her embrace, squishing her friend, who refused to stop shaking.

Seeing that she would not get a response, Noelle mumbled, "Nothing has to change. We'll always be friends, just, for the love of God, put that wretched ring away."

Kris burrowed their face on her shoulder, their silent tears soaking her white robe. Their breath returned to a somewhat normal pace, though they still seemed desperate for air. Noelle began to pat their head, silently reassuring them that they would be okay. 

After a pause, they held onto her arms, then pushed her away, nearly causing her to tumble to the ground. 

They stepped back, their footsteps seeming to be as loud as a thunderbolt. 

Kris put their head in their hands, the tears now visibly falling from their eyes, dripping onto the ground, plopping every time.

Noelle approached her friend, putting a fuzzy paw on their shoulder, which had begun to shake again. She tried to hug them, only to be flatly rejected, the teenager pushing their arms against her chest, desperate to have their space.

Suddenly, they began to harshly cough, nearly passing out from the effort.  

They cleared their throat, wincing when the coughs only got louder and harsher, wracking their throat with its presence.

Noelle offered them a creme handkerchief, which they snatched and brought to their mouth. 

Suddenly, droplets of blood began to appear on the napkin, staining them a dark red. 

Two sets of eyes widened at this development. 

Before either could get a word in, the deer burst began to break down, sobs making their way into her mouth, pouring out like water. She cried, tears dampening her marron fur, which had stayed fluffy until now. 

Noelle bawled, "You need to calm down. We need to calm down!" 

She knelt onto the floor, staining her pristine white robes, turning the knee area into a disgusting gray. 

Kris only shook their head, their coughs finally ceasing to plague them. 

They brought the blood-stained handkerchief down, squeezing it with their open fist, unworried about if it would taint their armor. 

Slowly, the blood began to drip down their hand, creating a sickening plop each time a droplet fell onto the ground. 

Finally, their tears stopped flowing, though they refused to wipe their face.

"You're going to be okay. Now calm down and take a deep breath," she sobbed out, her fur splotchy with tears. 

At that moment, Noelle felt like the biggest hypocrite in this foreign world. 

Kris looked at her, their eyes wide, and for a moment, Noelle thought that this was it: her dear friend was finally free of their burdens. Any second now, they would grasp her paws and frantically apologize, babbling about what had been hanging over their head, and Noelle would forgive them, of course, she would!  

Instead, they averted their gaze, covering their teary eyes with their bangs, a shield like no other.

To her horror, they whispered, "I will if you put the ring on," their voice ringing out inside her mind.

Their words hung heavy in her mind: I will if you put the ring on. I will if yo-

"So..?" they motioned to the ring on their palm, still a stained a deep red from the blood, "Will you?"

Her heart dropped. 

Paws shaking, she took the Thorn Ring, bringing it closer to her line of vision.

She observed that the engravings from before seemed much more sinister. Instead of the three forms dancing in nature, the blood made it seem like they were the sole survivors of a massacre, now having gone mad from what they had seen. 

The dancers plastered themselves in her mind, eternally linking hands.

Suddenly, a foreign voice, one that she had never heard before, rang in her head.

"Will we ever be the same?" It asked, sounding as if it had been crying. Its tone, low and mournful, reverberated throughout her head, causing her to look around for the source. 

Upon finding none, she resigned herself to observing this conversation. 

Another voice chimed in, "No! But let us celebrate that fact, learn to move past the carnage that has gripped our lives." This one, bright and cheerful, seemed much less concerned with the matter at hand, opting to comfort their distressed friend. 

One last voice rang out, this one verging on the brink of laughter. "Let us dance," it said, " to remember those we have lost, and those we will inevitably lose . Such is life. We live and we die, but not before we touch each other, leaving our marks on all around us. "

By now, its laughter had turned to weeping. 

The conversation cut off, and Noelle was left in silence.  

"Fine," she spat out, reaching for the ring. 

With great pain, Noelle slid the Thorn Ring down her finger, feeling streaks of agony shoot up her arm, invading her senses. She winced and nearly grabbed at the ring, narrowly stopping herself from further injury. 

In horror, she watched the thorns dig deeper, uncaring of her fur and penetrating her vulnerable skin. 

Crying out in pain, she bounced her leg, whimpering as the stabs refused to turn into a dull ache, staying fresh under her skin. 

"Are you happy now?" she screamed, her voice weak from the pain, which felt like several white-hot brands, marring her delicate skin. 

Kris only motioned for her to go on, leaving the room.

Just as she was about to join them, she heard the first voice from before, now much clearer than before, ringing in her ears. 

 "If what you said- about life and death, is correct, then do we ever truly die?" It asked. Now, it sounded less depressed and more resigned, deeply sighing once it had finished its question. 

This time, it was the third voice that responded, "Of course not. You and I will linger long after we have ceased to roam this realm." 

Chapter Text

"Kris!" Noelle called out, running out of the room, only to find that her friend had disappeared into thin air .

Eyes wide, she felt the air leave her lungs and let out a weak laugh, the sound ringing throughout the hallway. 

She walked out, now on the road, which was nearly empty. 

"Oh, you're playing a joke on me!" she spoke, then after a pause, continued, "...lovely. You can come out n-" 

She was cut off by a thorn in her ring digging deeper into the sensitive flesh of her finger, drawing more blood. She watched in horror as the wound expanded, the skin tearing from its original spot, hardly staying on. 

"K...Kris!" she repeated their name, tears building up, blurring her vision.

She brought her face down to face her injury but was unable to focus on anything but the searing pain boring into her and the tears that had begun to fill her eyes.

She shook her head, hoping for it to stop, to no avail. 

Once she looked up, everything seemed to be an iridescent blend of colors and lights like a watercolor painting with no distinct images, only splotches of ruby, emerald, and cobalt.

She looked in the direction of a blob of blue, running towards it and collapsing. It radiated a deep warmth, bringing heat to her now-shaking body. 

Upon further inspection, it seemed to be a cyan car, abandoned by its owner. Its color had long faded from a radiant blue to a more faded version of what it had been. 

Many scratches, long and systematic, adorned its hood and Noelle ran a paw on top of them, desperately feeling for something to ground her. 

In horror, she realized that it was not the product of a struggle, but deliberate, spelling out a word, which she frantically tried to make out, unable to read it. 

Proceed. 

The engine was still running and Noelle considered jumping in the car and driving away from Cyber City, never to be found again. 

For a moment, she became entranced in this fantasy: running away, free from the pain of both worlds, and making her own life, this one where she called the shots.

Not Kris, not Berdly, not Queen, but her and only her. 

Before she could seriously consider her plan, she felt a presence looming around her, sucking what little joy she had left from her soul. 

Looking in a random direction, bleary-eyed, she saw a mysterious monster approach her, carrying an object. 

It donned a dark cloak, which went down to its ankles, swishing with each step it took. Under that, it wore a white turtleneck, going up to its neck and holding its head upright. When she looked to see it, she saw in horror that it was no normal monster- or even a human. 

In place of a head, it had a skull, cracked down the middle, exposing a void of darkness where its brain should have been. In shock, she stumbled backward, in awe of how it was still alive. 

It stepped closer, dress shoes not making a sound against the road.

Its eyes, large and empty, seemed to stare through Noelle. 

"P-Please don't hurt me!" she begged, looking for Kris.

It only took another step closer. 

"I'll freeze you. I know magic!" she screamed at it, holding up her hand with the Thorn Ring menacingly. 

At that, its mouth somehow twisted into a smile, the sound of cracking bones filling her ears. It was like nails on a chalkboard, causing her to wince in fear. 

By now, it was right in front of her, not even breathing, only pushing out air from its mouth, hitting her face.

Its breath reminded her of the hospital, sterile and clean, with the dank stench of death looming underneath. 

Wordlessly, it handed her an egg and disappeared.

Grasping its gift, she swore under her breath and wiped her eyes, noticing that the tears had finally ceased to flow, filling her with a shaky calmness.

"What was that?" she asked herself, beginning to shake. She yanked at her antlers, gasping when it was apparent that this was not a dream. 

Faintly, she heard footsteps, slow and steady, from behind her. 

To her immense relief, Kris was standing there, sword in hand, armor gleaming from the street lamps. They ran to her, nearly dropping their weapon. 

"Kris!" she shouted their name, "That was a horrible prank."

They only shook their head and brought their arms around her shaking form in a futile attempt to soothe her. Noelle melted in their embrace, desperate for something to ground her.

"I thought I was," she began, feeling a sob build up in her throat, "going to die! Don't scare me like that!" 

Her friend looked at her in confusion, bringing them both to rest on the road in front of the abandoned car. 

They let go of her and looked up as if they were appealing to a god unknown to Noelle. In confusion, she motioned to what they were staring at, wordlessly asking what they were doing. 

They only shrugged and gave her another hug, this one warming her to her core. Still crying, Noelle felt them squeeze her, resting their chin on her head. 

"Kris," she said, her voice unsteady, "Will we be okay?" 

As soon as she asked the question, Kris tensed up and Noelle felt a pang in her heart. 

"I don't know," they hoarsely responded, unable to comfort their friend. 

"I wish I knew what to do. Sometimes it feels like I'm tr-," they started, abruptly cutting themself off.

"You're..?" Noelle repeated, asking them to elaborate. 

They refused to answer, only standing up and motioning for her to follow their lead. 

Still on the ground, she shook her head. 

Kris only made an odd facial expression, and Noelle could tell that they were raising an eyebrow under their dark bangs, which usually obscured most of their face.

"Have you ever been given an egg?" she asked, to which they nodded.

She held up the egg that the monster had given her, feeling its weight on her palm.

Upon realizing that she shouldn't hold it with the hand that bore the Thorn Ring, she fumbled to give it to Kris, who wordlessly took it. 

"Now you have two!" she laughed, dragging herself upwards, finally standing up. 

Finally, they cracked a smile and rummaged through the pocket, pulling out an identical-looking egg.

"It's like when I forced you to play with dolls when we were little!" she said, grabbing her own egg and making it dance with theirs.

"I am in awe of how mine didn't get all moldy yet," Kris said, swinging their egg up and down, pretending that it was a beautiful ballerina.  

"Ew!" Noelle exclaimed, suddenly handing her egg to them, scrunching up her snout.

"You can keep the egg, Mx. Moss Eater," she continued, wiping her eyes. 

Kris gave a grateful smile at their newfound title. 

After a pause, they gestured for her to continue, which she obliged. 

Chapter Text

Berdly adjusted his armor, which gleamed under the dim lamp that he had been stationed under. Awkwardly, he looked around the hallway for any signs of Noelle and the human that had corrupted her, molding her like clay into someone he could hardly recognize. 

According to Queen, she had frozen everyone she encountered under the direction of Kris. 

How she was able to get this information baffled him, but he was too terrified to question it. 

All he knew was that his friend was in trouble, and he'd be damned if he didn't at least try to help. 

He sighed, pressing his back against the cold walls, and began to preen himself, plucking a cerulean feather from his scalp, which fluttered from his talons onto the floor. Swaying his head, he watched it descend, thinking about how he had gotten here.

Once the Queen had employed him to save her best peon, he had jumped at the opportunity to help, and maybe even change the world while he was at it. 

If he was lucky, he'd be able to do both and really show everyone that he was the boss! Then he'd get love, respect, and admiration from everyone. 

It's a nice thought , he mused, eyes focused on the feather, To have people actually like you. 

He wondered about Noelle, and how she was doing. Even though they'd been friends for years, it felt impossible to understand the girl that had inadvertently handed him victory so long ago. 

Berdly knew that her home life wasn't the best, and that she used to have a sister, who seemed to be a sore subject for her. He remembered when he first mentioned her in one of their study sessions and she nearly started crying, overcome by the times when she had been happy and free.

After that, he learned not to mention Dess anymore. 

"December," he whispered to himself, "Where are you?" 

 He paused, nearly expecting an answer. 

When none came, he leaned forward, his beak still open. 

"If you're here," he said to himself, "You can give me a sign. I won-"

He was cut off by two sets of footsteps. 

In shock, he stepped back, equipping his axe and frantically looking around for whatever enemies dared to approach him. 

If he was being honest with himself, he was expecting to see a cool zombie. 

Kris and Noelle shuffled into the room, waiting for him to respond to their entrance. 

Heart jumping in excitement, he began his speech (which he put a countless number of hours into) and begged Noelle to abandon their former friend and join him in his quest for righteousness and justice.

All the monster did was look at Kris, awaiting their instructions. 

It seemed that this battle would be harder than he thought, but he was determined to save his dear friend! 

Kris held up their wooden shield, blocking their face, and Noelle created a wall of ice, shielding her as well. 

He was taken by surprise by this development. 

Maybe neither of them really wanted to fight. Maybe they just wanted to talk this whole misunderstanding out! 

With reluctance, he fired his attacks, which they both poorly dodged, nearly killing Kris in the process. 

"That'll teach you!" he whispered to himself, too quiet for anyone else but him to hear. 

Finally, he realized something that made his blood run cold.

Noelle was rapidly taking damage, which he was positive that he didn't deal. Upon closer inspection, he saw that a part of her fur, usually a pale brown, was stained a deep crimson. To his horror, that coloration seemed to be coming from a wound on her finger, which was caused by a ring… of thorns? 

He looked closer, realizing that his observations were correct. His friend was deeply hurting from this ring, one that Kris had probably forced her to wear.

Suddenly, it was his turn to attack, as they both decided to defend yet again. 

Fueled by this newfound knowledge, he attacked with vigor, rapidly firing spikes from his halberd, trying his best to defeat Kris. 

They simply leaned into his attacks, finally collapsing onto the ground with a sickening thump . 

Finally, he smiled at Noelle, who remained frozen in place. 

"N-Noelle! Look! Kris is down! Now's your chance to come back over here!" he begged, dropping his weapon on the ground. As it clanked on the floor, he spread his wings, welcoming her back into the team as if she had never left. 

All she did was cast the ice shield, averting her gaze from him. 

Suddenly, she looked up, as if appealing to an invisible god, and whispered, "S...Snowgrave? I don't know that spell."

Berdly looked around for who she was talking to, only seeing Kris' limp form, which had not stirred since his last attack. 

"W-Who are you talking to?" he asked her, taking a step closer, "There's nobody else here."

She backed away, her eyes wide, and began to shake her head, ginger hair covering her eyes. After a pause, she began to walk to Kris, shaking their body, desperate for a response. Wincing, she pleaded, "I'm telling you, I… I don't know what you're talking about." 

She wiped her eyes with her paws, feeling the soft fur grow damp with tears. Shaking Kris, her breath began to quicken, coming out in ragged huffs, echoing throughout the room. 

Berdly shuffled closer to his friend, ready to comfort her. Once he was a few yards away, he cleared his throat, "Noelle, I-"

"I'm telling you, stop! I… I don't know what you're talking about!" Noelle cut him off, paws now reaching for her antlers, tugging at them as if to pull them from her head. Before he could get another word in, she groaned, letting go of them and staring upwards yet again.  

"Fine. You want to see what happens so bad? Watch what happens when I cast a spell I don't know!" She spat out, approaching Berdly, who was stupefied by her outburst. 

She stalked towards him, her posture rigidly straight, and began to cast the spell. She floated into the air, her arms outstretched. 

All Berdly could notice were her pupils, which were a shade of milky white, as if they were filled with snow. 

Suddenly, snow began to fall from the roof, each snowflake a unique pattern. In awe, Berdly saw it engulf them all, plunging them into a symphony of coldness. It reigned on, slowly increasing in pace, he noted in horror. He felt it hit his beak and his eyelashes, utterly consuming him with its power. 

Suddenly, a beacon of ice began to surround him, this one making his body feel heated and full of warmth. He tugged at his armor, desperate for a reprieve, only to feel his limbs tighten in refusal. 

It seemed that this was the end of the boy that had so fervently tried to help their friend.  

He breathed out, seeing the cloud of warm air become one with the snow, and looked down, longing for some dignity in his death.

Faintly, he wondered if it was his fault, if there was anything that he could have done differently. Maybe if he tried harder, or took his position more seriously, he would have mustered up the strength to defeat Kris, once and for all. 

Basking in his self-hatred and regrets, he resigned himself to this icy coffin.

I don't blame you , he thought with all his might, jerking his head up to look into Noelle's emotionless eyes. He prayed that she would somehow understand. 

Faintly, he heard a hoarse voice call out, desperate to be heard among the carnage. 

"Noelle, wait!" 

Chapter Text

Startled, Noelle jerked her paw back, giving Berdly a reprieve from the coldness that had begun to consume him. She looked in the direction of the voice, finding that Kris had jerked themselves upward and now was calling her name. 

Suddenly, they collapsed back on the floor, unconscious once more. 

"Noelle!" the bluebird called out, trying to shake the ice from his feathers, which fell out in delicate snowflakes. He wrenched his body towards her, his breath cold on her shoulder as he whispered, "I'm sorry."

Faintly, she felt snowflakes fall on her face, tickling her wet nose. 

After a pause, she brought her paws to her chest, basking in relief at having saved her friend. 

Hurriedly, she tried to take them off, but they refused to leave.

Suddenly, Noelle felt herself becoming very cold. It was as if somebody had dumped a gallon of ice water on her while standing in the midst of a snowstorm, this one raging inside her body. 

Unable to cope with her impending doom, her mind, like a television, replayed an old memory. 

"Noelle! Catch this one if you can!" The deer giggled, hurling a snowball at her younger sister, who got hit face first.

As it collided, Noelle only gasped in shock, running her petite paws over her jacket, which was made of scarlet fabric. Each hole was neatly sewn up by the older of the pair, the only marking of a tear being the emerald thread, which made it look very festive. 

Years later, Noelle would still keep that color scheme in her outfits. 

Groaning, she shook her head, feeling the snow only lodge itself further into her ginger fur. 

"C'mon, Dess!" She complained, "You're acting like such a Kris right now!"

The teenager laughed, candidly and clearly, the sound filling her ears. She began to wheeze in delight, banging her paw on the ground, wincing when it was predictably met with the cold surface of the snow. 

"Like a Kris?" She asked, now giggling. Her mind flashed to the various pranks her mischievous friend would often pull, most of which resulted in them receiving a nougie from her older sister.

Dess seriously nodded, rubbing at her snout, which was crusted with snow. She motioned for Noelle to follow her, which she obliged.

"Let's head home since Mom and Dad are probably waiting for us," she said, rubbing her younger sister on the head, snickering.

She nodded her head in agreement while they made the trek home.

As they were about to arrive at their house, which had been lit by the fireplace inside, Noelle suddenly looked to December with wide eyes. 

"Can I ask you a question?" she whispered to her, ceasing to walk, now on the stoop of their house. 

December acknowledged her by stopping as well. 

"Is college," she began, "cool? Like a...are you having fun?" she brought her paws together, embarrassed at having asked such a stupid question. 

"That's not what you really want to know, is it?" She answered her question with another question. 

Noelle only shook her head, looking to the ground. She took a deep breath and finally spoke her mind, "Is it happier than here?"

Her older sister scrunched her face, deeply contemplating her answer. Finally, she responded by saying, "Sure! It's all a matter of perspective, you know?" 

Despite not knowing, Noelle nodded her head, faintly worrying that her budding antlers would hit her sister. 

"Like, life's only what you make of it. If you don't make an effort to be happy here- well, you'll be miserable in any location," she began, gesturing to invisible objects. 

December laughed, "Just… stop waiting for life to make you happy, and start making yourself happy. Seize the day or whatever. You got that, Noelle?"

Her mind repeated those last words, which echoed within the confines of her head, ignoring the pain to focus on happier times, ones where her sister was alive, where she had more friends, and where Kris wasn't constantly using her for her abilities. 

In some ironic twist of events, it seemed that she had managed to take ahold of her own destiny, albeit not in the way she expected. 

Her thoughts were cut off by the cold burrowing itself deeper into her body, now making its way into her heart, filling the still-beating organ with its power.

Berdly gasped, falling onto the floor in fear. Frozen in shock, he was unable to move a feather to help her. 

Suddenly, Noelle lurched forward, her paws still stuck to her chest. 

It had become much hotter inside her heart, now seemingly filling it with molten lava, flowing into her very soul, filling her body with warmth. She attempted to shake her body in a futile attempt to rid herself of this heat, only for it to increase, despite her body being nearly frozen by now. 

Suddenly, she felt a spike of pain pierce her heart, which made her jerk her head down, eyes nearly building out of their sockets. 

Instead of seeing blood outpouring from a wound, staining her white robes with the deep crimson liquid, all she saw was a small patch of ice, sticking onto her marron fur as if it had always been there. 

Suddenly, the ice began to spread, spearing her on each tiny crystal, finally settling right around the Thorn Ring. 

Noelle tried to shake her head, only to be overpowered by the ice. Now feeling quite groggy, she felt her eyes begin to close, hardly able to resist the saccharine pull of death. 

With the last of her strength, she thought back to her sister, who had been brave until the end. 

If she had been in my situation, she would have found a way out, she thought to herself, It would have been easy for her! But I tried and tried, but was unable to fight this! 

The last fragments of her consciousness barely enduring, she could've sworn she heard December.

"You have fought well," she seemed to say, her voice light and airy, nearly blending in with the raging snowstorm around her, "You have done your best. That's all I can ask for."

Ceasing to shake, seemingly free of the coldness that had gripped her so deeply, she smiled, now unburdened by the icy remnants of her past.

"Dess?" she croaked, "I did it! Finally, I made you proud."

Just like that, Noelle's eyelashes, weighed down by snow, fluttered and she collapsed onto the floor, never to get up again. 

Chapter Text

Berdly felt his limbs turn to jelly, forcing him to fall to the ground, nearly hitting his head. 

"Sh-She's," he started, his voice shaky, "Is she dead?" 

Upon receiving no response, he scooted closer to her body, bringing a blue wing to feel for a pulse.

He pressed it against her wrist, begging any and all deities to find some semblance of life in her veins, but all that was given to him was an eerie silence, no pulse rining through. 

He gasped, the sound waking Kris, who had barely managed to pry open their eyes. 

"N...Noelle?" They called out to her, beginning to stretch out their limbs, which had been curled on the floor, nearly stuck in that position. 

"I d-don't think Noelle…" he began, feeling a sob build up in his throat, finally releasing in a long cry, "I don't think she's coming back."

At that, Kris shot up from their spot and ran to her limp form, still resting on the ground. 

"No!" They shouted, holding her in their hands, shaking the body, "No no no no! Y-You can't be serious." 

They began to cradle her body, bringing her antlers to rest by their chest as if she was a small child after a tantrum. 

"C'mon Noelle, I thought it was me always pulling pranks. Now please wake up!" They screamed at her, their once rich voice cracking on the last few syllables, making it feel as if their throat had been split into two, nearly severing their vocal cords. 

Without warning, Berdly flung himself onto the pair, covering them with his wings, which had begun to shake. After a moment, his whole body began to tremble, causing his glasses to fall from his face with a resounding clank . 

At that moment, he was quite grateful to be spared the horrific sight. 

"It should've been me," he cried out, tears rolling down his feathers, finding their final destination on his armor, making it gleam under the dim light. 

Wiping at his face, he tried to articulate his thoughts, which had become scrambled due to the fighting. Instead of speaking, he only cried harder, wheezing out what could be considered frantic apologies under his sobs. 

"I'm so sorry," he murmured, "I-It was my fault she died. If only I hadn't challenged you guys-"

"No," Kris interrupted, "It was mine. We should've talked it out, o-or something."

At those last few words, they looked upwards, as if appealing to a god, and glared into the ceiling. 

Berdly gave a dry laugh. "Kris, don't say that because you don't want to admit that I should've died in h-her place," he said, shaking his head, "If only I…" 

"Stop saying that!" They shouted, gently setting the body onto the ground and standing up. The teenager brought their head to rest in their hands, which had begun to be seized by violent tremors. 

"This won't change anything. Unless," they began, their voice gaining a dark undertone, "we can go back in time, Noelle will still be dead. She'll always be dead!" 

At those words, they indicated to the door that they had entered through, which would eventually lead to the light only they could see. 

Despite the circumstances, their thoughts ran clear, like water, through their mind: Please reset. Please, if you ever want me to be happy, whatever your name is, just reset. I know you can hear what I'm thinking. But I just can't go on without Noelle. She's my be-

"Kris!" Berdly cried out, bringing his wings up to embrace his classmates, "Oh my god. I killed Noelle." 

He buried his beak into their neck, trying to drown out the rest of the world. His breath began to increase in both speed and intensity, now coming out in rapid huffs, as if he was a fish out of water, desperate to take in whatever he could to save himself. 

They only wrapped their arms around him and squeezed tighter, allowing them both to crumble under the crushing weight of their grief. Unable to give them any assurance, they hoped that this would be sufficient enough to convey their emotions. 

After a pause, they wiped their eyes, now tinged red from crying, and croaked, "You didn't do anything wrong. I p-promise you."

Once those last three words slipped from their lips, he fully gave into his anguish, becoming boneless in their grasp and tumbling against them, unable to support himself. In response, all Kris did was hold them tighter, tears falling down their cheeks. 

Finally able to think somewhat coherently, Berdly broke away from their hug, still sobbing. He shook his head in an attempt to rid himself of his tears and gently said, "Kris?"

The human perked up at the mention of their name, beginning to cease their sobbing. Unable to fully focus on the monster in front of them, they felt taken aback to hear their name mentioned after a period of silence and mourning. Finally, they answered, "Hm…?"

He suddenly looked away, as if he was embarrassed to speak. When Kris motioned for him to continue, he finally asked, "Do you believe in reincarnation? Like I know our church teaches that it's bad to think about it, but…"

They nodded in understanding, "You don't want to imagine her stuck in the afterlife, all lonely and stuff without her friends."

Berdly snorted, "If there even is one. And besides, I wouldn't want to face her when I kick the bucket. Seems too upsetting." While saying this, he scrunched up his face, feeling his tears briefly stop flowing down his face, allowing him to speak without interruption.

Kris tilted their head and asked, "Is that all?"

N-no. I'm worried that she'll hate me and I feel so selfish," he answered, bringing a wing to scratch the back of his neck, slightly sheepish at having exposed his deepest and most vulnerable thoughts. 

At that moment, Kris felt deep sympathy for him grip their heart, wedging its way into their very soul. It felt as if he were about to confess something truly reprehensible, like a murder, but all he did was stay silent.  

Their mind flashed to the many times they had comforted Noelle, feeling as if it were almost the same. 

"Well," they began, glad to have a reprieve from their circumstances, now able to think of happier times, "you aren't. And to answer your question, I'd like to think so. Maybe by now, she's playing in a field in her next life, right next to Dess' incarnation, free from the pain of this life. I'd like to imagine it's a cool summer evening wherever they are, like how our favorite days used to be, and the sun is just barely set, with the light reflecting on the clouds in this way that Noelle always used to call so beautiful. And they may have to exist the next day, but for now, they can get lost in pure happiness, n-no longer burdened by having to be a person or a monster, just an expression of their joy."

They felt their very body protest at saying those last words as if punishing them for saying their fantasy.  

In awe, Berdly became entranced with the idea: Noelle and her sister, happy and free from the pain that had plagued them in this life. Before he could contemplate it further, his mind reminded him how they got here, and he felt himself slip further. 

"A-And I feel like I should be more upset even though this sadness has literally gripped my heart and it's like it'll never let go. But I'm not even crying now! What the hell is wrong with me?" He shouted, at this point resorting to tightly gripping his armor to release his tensions, feeling its coldness seep into his skin. 

Kris gave them a weary smile, unable to meet his eyes. When he refused to mirror their expression, they whispered, "Berdly, you're in shock. Trust me, the grief will really kick in soon. For now, let's go tell the others."

Chapter Text

"Hey, Ralsei! Catch this!" Susie laughed, throwing a stick of cotton candy at the Darkner, only cackling harder when the pink sugar crystals became stuck to his white fur. 

They were on the other side of Cyber City, simply talking and indulging in some sweets. Surrounded by booths, it felt like a good time to take a break without interfering too much. To their left, several booths stood up, selling odd merchandise of all kinds. 

One even boasted: "HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA TODAY!"

Exasperated, he pulled the stick from his fur, staring at the splotch of color that was left in its wake. 

Frankly, it looked quite gross, and he did not want to continue his adventure with dirty fur. He scrunched his snout up in disgust, curling his lips. 

"How do I clean this now?" he asked her, gesturing to the now-pink patch of his fur. 

She looked at him in confusion, raising her eyebrows. "Lick it, duh," she responded, flashing him a smile. 

"Ew! No," he said, crossing his arms under his emerald cloak, shaking his head, his floppy ears repeatedly hitting against his glasses. 

"Fine, I'll lick it off then," she responded, bending her knees to reach his level. Without hesitation, she brought his fur into his mouth and began chewing. 

Ralsei, on the other hand, felt absolutely horrified.  

"What the heck?" he nearly shouted, covering his face with his hat. 

Before either could get another word, Kris and Berdly emerged from the entrance, both looking completely wiped out.

They both jumped in response, although Susie did not cease to lick his fur.

"This isn't what it looks like!" He shouted, waving his paws in front of his face, very embarrassed. 

All the human did in response was approach their friends, still shaking, and wrapped their armor-covered arms around them in a tight embrace. 

Susie ceased her endeavors, turning her attention to the distressed teenager. 

"Kris…" Ralsei began, "Are you okay?" 

They shook their head, burrowing it onto Susie's shoulder, sobs beginning to rip from their throat, the sound slightly muffled by her jacket. 

She cursed under her breath, bringing a paw to rest on their back in a futile attempt to comfort them. She brought her other arm to wrap around the two, squeezing them both quite tightly.

After a pause, she spat out to Berdly, "What the hell did you do?"

All he did was burst into tears, too exhausted to defend himself. His wails rang out throughout the room, the pained sound producing the same effect as nails on a chalkboard. 

"Ralsei, you make sure that Kris isn't dying or something. I'll find out what this little shit did to hurt them this way," she whispered, stomping over to the shaking Lightner, who had only begun to cry harder, unable to articulate his thoughts. She pinned him to the wall, his head slamming against the rough concrete, bouncing against it. 

After murmuring a couple of weak threats, she remembered her time as a bully and all the people she had terrorized. Trying to emulate that period of her life which had hardly passed, she continued on, with more confidence, about how miserable his life would become if he didn't fess up.  

Meanwhile, Ralsei attempted to comfort Kris. He gently assured them, "Just breathe, okay? Don't focus on the fact that it feels like your world is ending, or that it's probably the worst day of your life, just focus on my voice and the wind on your face. It's a beautiful day, think of that!" He hugged them tighter, beginning to bring their bodies to the ground, which seemed to be quite sticky, "Think of birds- okay maybe not birds, but bees! Imagine them buzzing about on a meadow, their little arms full of pollen, so eager to help the world around them." Upon saying this, he offered them a bright smile, trying to fill their mind with images of happiness and simplicity. 

Instead of this pleasant visual, their mind flashed to Noelle's last words, which had been breathed out with all her remaining strength.

"Dess," they began, feeling their breath leave their lungs in several rapid huffs, their close proximity causing Ralsei's glasses to fog up. He took them off, bringing them to rest on the palm of his paw, smiling at their pretty color.

He looked at them, quietly repeating, "Dess..?" His fuchsia eyes stared deep into Kris' crimson-tinged ones. 

"Hey, Noelle! Kris! Look at this one!" the teenager laughed, bringing a bee that had been resting on her palms to their sight. 

Once Noelle's eyes landed on the insect, she jumped out of her seat on the meadow, nearly falling down in the process. After taking a deep breath, she sat down again, this time a considerable space away from her older sister. 

"I think," Kris laughed, "That's actually a yellowjacket." 

December rapidly shook her head, bringing it closer to the duo. It was colored a mustard yellow, with several stripes on black breaking up the otherwise monotonous color of the fur. It also had several pollen stains adorning it, adding yet another shade of yellow.

It rubbed its antennas manically, its beady eyes staring deep into their souls. 

"You better be kidding," Noelle whined, crossing her arms. She suddenly rested her back on the soft grass, feeling the blades tickle her skin. She looked up to the sky, which was faintly tinged with grey clouds, hovering ominously over the three, arguably four. 

They shrugged, bringing a scarred hand to pet the bumblebee, only for it to beat its wings in response, loudly buzzing.

"Let's go, I don't think it's very happy with us,"  December said, opening her paw more to let it escape from her grasp. 

Without trepidation, it began to flutter its clear wings, soaring up into the heavens, as if it would reach the sun to give it thanks, as it had so benevolently shined its rays on it. 

Suddenly, it began to rain, and a large droplet of water fell onto the bee, disturbing its flight.

" Oh no!" Noelle gasped, gesturing to the poor creature, her arms outstretched.

Another droplet hit it, this one downing it, forcing its slow descent back onto the now-wet grass. In horror, they watched as a puddle of rainwater formed around it, as it was helpless to resist. 

Slowly but surely, it drowned, and everyone else was absolutely soaked. 

For a moment, they all stayed silent, as if mourning the death of the bee, despite having just met it. 

Finally, somebody broke the silence, only cut by the rain before then. 

"Looks like it probably wasn't best to let it off on its own yet," December wryly remarked, gesturing for the others to leave. 

Kris shook their head at Ralsei, bringing it to rest against his chest; their tears, which had begun to now pour from their eyes, quickly dampened his emerald robes. Between sobs, they hiccuped, afraid to explain what happened to the others. 

While this was happening, Susie was beginning to get desperate, resorting to saying the first threat that came to mind.

"I-If you don't tell me what happened," she scoffed, her voice cracking, "I'll make sure Ms. Alphys knows that you are a massive dickhead who did something horrible. And everyone else will know what you've done, even if it takes me an hour to find out."

Instead of insulting her back, or making a witty retort, Berdly just nodded his head, sobbing. 

Finally, Kris spoke, their voice shaky from crying, "Noelle is dead."

Once they said that, both Ralsei and Susie gasped, the latter dropping her victim on the ground, who fell with a sickening thump . 

They looked at each other, nearly positive it was a poorly-timed joke or some other prank. When the punchline never came, Susie brought her paws to her face, tightly squeezing it, as if doing so would make her wake up from whatever nightmare she had been thrust into. 

"And I killed her!" Berdly finally spoke, curled up on the ground. 

Chapter Text

Susie gasped, crouching to look at Berdly in the eye. 

"Repeat what you just said," she spat out, grabbing him by the neck, her large paws circling around it, preparing to squeeze his tender throat.

Ralsei, still in shock, only embraced Kris tighter, squeezing the human as if doing so would bring Noelle back. 

She snarled, tightening her grasp on his throat, silently demanding an answer, only for Berdly to stay silent, his sobs breaking the moment of silence shared between the four.

Kris cried out, "He's lying! Don't listen to him." After managing to get that out, they resumed their crying, unable to resist the pull of grief.

Their wails intermingled, forming a symphony of their grief. 

Susie brought a paw to her face, feeling something wet slide down the surface. Faintly, she realized that she too was crying. Dropping the bluebird, she stumbled over to Ralsei and Kris like a drunkard and wrapped her arms around the two, forming a protective barrier from the outside world. 

Ralsei whispered, "It'll be okay. Just try to take deep brea-"

"No!" Kris interrupted him, their voice hoarse from crying, "It won't! Noelle is dead and i-it's my fault." Upon saying that, they burrowed their face deeper into his chest, despite having to crouch even more to do so. 

"Kris," he gently whispered, bringing a paw to rest on their dark locks, "You didn't do anything wrong. You did your best to save her, and sadly, that wasn't enough. But you can rest now. Just close your eyes, and everything will be okay when you wake up."

He began to stroke their hair, softly whispering assurances to his friend, letting them use him as a glorified tissue. 

They sniffled, "Are you really talking to me?"

He made a questioning sound, still intent on comforting them, and began to sway. 

Susie broke from the hug, backing away from Kris and Ralsei, who remained in the embrace. 

"Who gives a shit?" she asked, feeling a pang of sadness blossom deep within her heart, "Noelle's fucking dead! Do we want to look at her corpse or something?" By now, she sounded desperate, as if she were praying to an invisible god to learn the cause of the pain that had befallen them.

She looked down to her lavender paws, feeling a surge of power flow through them. 

If she wanted to, she could wrap her hands around Ralsei's throat, disregarding his scarf, and twist . She imagined that he would try to scream, of course, but his weak little body wouldn't be able to resist her sheer strength, and he would fall, like a sacrificial lamb, to her wrath. 

And Kris, too. While they acted all high and mighty, she knew they lacked pure physical power compared to her. She was certain that they would quietly gasp once she laid her hands on Ralsei, but wouldn't intervene. They were too prideful for that, but once she pounced, their self-preservation would kick in, and they'd scream at the top of their lungs for mercy.

And Berdly- she shifted her gaze to the crying bluebird, who lay, prostrate, on the floor. That certainly snapped her out of her thoughts. 

They all may be crying idiots, but they were her friends! And besides, who was she to deny them their grief when tears too fell down her cheeks?

She never wanted to hurt anyone! 

A wave of self-loathing coursed through her heart like ice water, chilling her to the very bone.  

Eyes wide out of fear, she stepped back, her footsteps echoing throughout the room. She looked down at her black shoes, noticing that the material was torn from frequent use, and sighed.

"Who cares about tomorrow when you're not even sure about today?" She screamed, grabbing the still-sobbing Berdly by the scruff of his neck, "You're fucking telling me everything. Don't spare a single detail!" 

Kris and Ralsei were left alone, the latter still mumbling about how things would get better, how they just had to take deep breaths and focus on his voice, as if that would magically fix the situation they were trapped in. 

"Shh," he whispered, beginning to sit down, dragging his sobbing friend to the ground with him. He delicately brought his paws away from their head, feeling Kris bring their arms around his waist and squeeze him like a lifeline. 

"You don't need to worry. Everything will be okay," he said, wrapping his arms around them, feeling his paws interlock. He squeezed the left one, nearly cutting off his circulation in the right.

It felt as if he were repeating the generic phrase, over and over, like a record. 

Everything will be okay, his mind mocked him, the inner voice full of delight. It bounced up and down, eager to have fuel to throw every insult at him.

Yes sure, it said, and it turns out that this is just some elaborate prank. Wake up, Ralsei!  It feels like thousands of times Kris has been sent down a dark path, but never like this. Never had Noelle died, especially in such a violent manner. But sure, everything will be okay, as long as they trust you! Whose fault is this really?

He trembled under the invisible pressure, grasping Kris tighter, who winced and tried to shake their head, silently denying their words, but unable to articulate their thoughts, which raged, like a storm, inside their head. 

"Asriel, I'm sorry," they sobbed out, "I couldn't protect Noelle."

Ralsei tensed up, briefly letting go of Kris, who held onto him tighter. Awkwardly, he brought his arms back around them, feeling the teen grow limp in his grasp, exhausted from crying. He paused, deeply considering his answer, then replied, "It's okay." His voice was soft and tender as if he were reassuring a hurt animal that was about to be put down.

By now, tears had begun to spring in his eyes, making it seem as if everything was fuzzy and nondistinct, reminding him of when he lost his glasses a few days ago.

Before he could get another word in, Kris had fallen deeply asleep. Their crimson eyes, usually covered, were peacefully shut, forcing him to wonder often they had cried themself to sleep, too burdened by the world to properly cope, desperately trying to muffle their sobs using a pillow, or even their sweater, afraid of their family seeing them in such a vulnerable state. 

At that, his heart clenched and he wished he had the power to fix their broken life.

Briefly, he considered waking them and dragging them back to their room, using something in it as a makeshift bed and tucking the teenager in it, allowing them to get some much-needed rest.

When he looked down, unadulterated pity gripped him, making him grasp the teenager tightly, as if he was protecting them from their dreams, or more likely- their nightmares. 

He pondered his options, silently weighing the pros and cons of each while part of his mind rambled, utterly convinced that he was a horrible friend and needed to save them from their inner demons. He began to fiddle with his paws, no longer cradling their body.

For now, they were free from their grief, so he let them rest, glad to see them asleep for once. 

With that in mind, he rested his chin on their head and closed his eyes, praying that the physical contact would lull him to sleep. 

Chapter Text

Berdly coughed, his blue feathers ruffled from the sudden movement. 

Susie dropped him onto the floor, mildly surprised when he didn't get back up and only stayed, limp and unmoving.

He pressed his cheek against the cold ground, feeling the ridges of each individual tile press up against his face, gently cooling it from his hot tears. He brought a claw to rest at his neck, rubbing it, wondering if it would feel sore in a few hours. 

Once that thought crossed his mind, a wave of self-loathing coursed through him. 

His best friend has just died in front of his eyes, and he was consumed by how he felt, of all things! 

Tears sprung up in his eyes yet again, and he whispered, "I'm sorry."

Susie snorted, and he faintly realized that she too was crying. Tears fell down her cheeks in rigidly straight lines, pooling under her eyes, which had begun to turn a shade red from her grief. She sighed, the sound seeming quite hoarse, compared to her usual voice. 

"Why?" Susie asked, using her paw to wipe at her eyes. 

For the first time, it occurred to Berdly that she must be holding back her sadness, which was likely at the point of consuming her. But nevertheless, she tried to stay somewhat levelheaded for reasons that baffled him. 

His respect for her skyrocketed once this thought crossed his mind.

"I let her die, for god's sake! It's all my fault, he sobbed out, his voice cracking on the last syllable, usually a cause for much embarrassment, but under these circumstances, it was no cause for concern. 

He sobbed, lacking the power to quell his emotions, which had wrapped its hand around his throat, choking him.  

"Stop saying that!" she shouted at him, crouching to face him, who had refused to move from his place on the floor. 

"Why? If I hadn't let my ego get the best of me, and thought I could single-handedly save Noelle, then this never would have happened," he spat out, craning his neck to look at Susie.

Her pink hair was tousled, falling over her shoulders and getting tangled in the spiked decorations, which rested on the top half of her arms. She jerked her shoulder down, feeling the hair pull down from the sudden movement. 

"Save her from what?" she asked, now attempting to free the strands from her armor. 

Berdly's eyes widened in shock, nearly bulging in their sockets. He looked away to the stand a couple of yards away, which was painted a peeling blue with neon purple accents. 

Upon reading the writing, he learned that it sold cotton candy, claiming that it was freshly made. 

Susie crossed her arms, "Well?" 

"K-Kris," he whispered, afraid that speaking any louder would summon them.

She gasped, backing away from him as if he would hurt her. She followed his line of sight, now also looking at the cotton candy stand. Briefly, she considered getting a stick and throwing it at the raving Lightner in some attempt to calm him down, as he was clearly speaking nonsense. 

"You're really treading on thin ice here. First, you say you killed Noelle, and now suddenly you're accusing Kris of manipulating her!" She snarled, suddenly stepping closer, her footsteps ringing throughout the room, echoing in his ears. 

"I-I'm not really sure what they were doing, but it definitely wasn't good," he defended himself, bringing his wings to shield his face, "They were both fighting me, and suddenly, Kris went down. I thought this would mean that Noelle could finally join me, but instead, she just stayed where she was and started talking to this invisible voice about this spell, I think it was called Snowgrave..? Then, she tried casting it on me, and it felt so cold, like I was going to die, but Kris, they woke up, and tried to get her to stop." Upon saying that, he shivered, feeling a phantom chilliness wrap around him, consuming his very body. 

He continued, "She just seemed kinda shocked, and then she somehow cast it on herself! I was too weak to do anything. And Kris was passed out- so they couldn't have stopped her anyway." 

Susie ceased to crouch, now awkwardly shuffling next to the bluebird, sitting down next his right side. 

"...Holy shit," she whispered, imagining how her last moments were, and how lonely she must have felt. She hoped that she was able to find some semblance of peace, burrowed deep within her, before she passed, but felt that it was stupid to wish upon things that she was too afraid to ask about. 

Berdly nodded, "Yeah." 

"I can't believe it," she sobbed out, covering her eyes with her paws, desperately wiping at them, which only made her cry harder. 

For a moment, the two stayed in silence, basking in this new observation, desperate to connect the information to the situation at hand. Finally, he sighed, the sound weak and full of uncertainty. 

"Susie, can I ask you a question, or merely make an observation?" he asked, wincing when she jerked her head to look at him, uncovering her eyes.

"Sure. What do I have to lose?" she snarled, not really mad at all. 

He awkwardly sat up, his limbs shaking from grief, and rested his head on the wall, which was a less than optional spot, as he nearly bumped on it too hard, barely managing to avoid getting injured. 

"I think you're a lot more emotionally vulnerable than you say you are. And you're j-just scared of admitting it. Why?" he voiced his thoughts, turning to speak into the wall, hoping that doing so would muffle his speech. 

"What?!" she exclaimed, strengthening her legs as if she was preparing to run away.

He outstretched his wings to her, placatingly shaking them, despite being an emotional wreck. He felt his breath quicken in his chest, escaping him when he needed it the most.

"Sorry! I don't want to make you more upset than you already are," he said after regaining some semblance of control of his lungs, which protested being used. 

Susie paused, deeply contemplating her answer. After a pause, she whispered, "N-No, it's not that."

Feeling bold, he turned to look at her, finding that her tears had ceased to flow with the same intensity as before, now only occasionally dripping onto her cheeks, dripping onto the floor with a plop . 

"Then what is it?" he inquired, awkwardly bringing his wing to rest on her shoulder, which no longer shook.

She gave a breathy laugh, not meaning to be funny. After that, she sighed, feeling an onslaught of tears rush into her eyes again, barely keeping it together. 

She responded, "I'm the strongest out of Kris and Ralsei, so I just gotta protect them, even if that means acting like a jerk to some others, you know?," she held up her paws, pretending to cast a spell of some sorts, "The world is a shitty place at times, and I don't want them to get hurt any more than they already have been." 

Berdly's lips curled at this mention of pain, his mind flashing to Noelle, who also experienced so much in her short life, from losing a sister to seeing her dad's health fail, slowly stripping him of the kind personality and making him a husk of the father he used to be. 

"I assume you're speaking out of experience," he said, still deep in thought. 

She snorted, her warm breath tickling his feathers, nearly blowing a few very loose ones off. 

"What gave you that idea?" she rhetorically asked.

"I'm not sure. Please don't get mad!" he begged, his fight-or-flight instincts kicking in, demanding that he flee this situation, run to Kris, and pray for their protection from the possibly angry teenager. 

"I won't," she whispered, causing a wave of relief to crash through him, "It's just- my parents never really had a lot to give. Sure, they loved me half to death, but that didn't mean as much as it should have when there wasn't food on the table. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for them and all their sacrifices, but it was hard to grow up when they were out so often for new job opportunities, and other ways to try and scrape together some cash. And when they died, their love went with them." 

"Oh," he breathed out, "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

She shrugged, "And nobody else, aside from them, ever cared enough to reach out to me. The others would just brush me off and assume that I really was just heartless and all." Upon saying this, she wiped at her eyes again, feeling her memories of being ostracized invade her mind, loneliness burrowing its way into her heart. 

Without thinking, Berdly put his wing on her shoulder, hoping to offer some comfort. His eyes soft and filled with tears, he said, "All but Noelle." 

At this, Susie tensed up, craning her neck to look down at her legs, watching as a single tear fell onto her pants, dampening the fabric and turning it several shades darker. 

"Yeah. She was this," she laughed, "fountain of kindness. She never wanted anything in return! She made me think that maybe it was okay to express my feelings, but I never got close enough to her to really do so, especially with my friends."

He nodded in understanding, "So you give Kris and Ralsei what you never had: stability."

Thinking back to the time he had learned about love, he remembered learning that many give what they were unable to receive, hoping that it will fulfill some intrinsic desire inside themselves to have the fulfillment which they lacked. 

"That's sure as hell one way to put it," she shrugged, scrunching the loose fabric of her pants, feeling the water droplet dampen her paw. 

Berdly's face contorted, spreading to a much more sympathetic expression as the previous events washed over him, filling him with several indescribable emotions. 

"She really liked you, as well," he whispered, referring to Noelle, almost afraid to mention her name again, as if he would summon her angry spirit from the land of the dead. 

Susie looked at him in shock, barely processing what he just said. Suddenly, she raised her eyebrows and nearly laughed, off all things. 

"That's a first," she retorted, half-expecting him to reveal that what he just said was a joke of sorts, then cruelly mock her for even imagining that her feelings were reciprocated. 

He brought the wing that had been resting on her shoulder close to his chest, feeling very nervous about her reaction. For a moment, he thought she would get angry again, upset at him for having the audacity to speak so lightly about Noelle as if she had never died. The thought tormented his mind, which took no qualms in imagining how quickly her demeanor would change, then she would lift him by the throat, and shout at him for being so disrespectful to the dead, how it'd be better if he joined her. 

The worst part was how likely it was that he would agree with her.

Snapping himself out of it, he babbled, "Like- she always used to talk about how amazing and pretty you were to me and she probably told Kris as well. It was kinda embarrassing to watch, to be honest. She was pining for you really badly." 

Faintly, he noticed that his vision had begun to fill with tears, making everything seem blurry and vague, reminding him of the many times he had taken off his glasses. 

In response, Susie nearly pulled away, shocked that Noelle actually didn't hate her, that her kindness was truly genuine and not just an obligation. 

She blushed, "I wish there was a way to bring her back. Not just because I like her! But because she was actually a really good monster, one that deserves to be here, ya'know?"

He nodded, "Agreed. But for now, let's be practical. We need to find Queen and tell her about Noelle, then maybe search for a solution."

"I hate that you're right," she sighed, looking to where Kris and Ralsei were, just out of her vision. She briefly considered going back to them, but eventually decided that it would be best if they both got this over with as quickly as possible.

"I do, too," Berdly said, standing up, "I miss being the second-best." 

Chapter Text

Both stayed, stagnant, at the door, unable to take the steps to leave and face the outside world. 

"I don't want to go," Berdly whispered, his eyes flitting to and fro, "I don't want to see her… body." 

His mind flashed to a grotesque image of Noelle, already rotting, the fur stripped of her body, only leaving the occasional piece of skin, which would have turned a dull grey. In it, part of her skeleton was still intact, though maggots had begun to feast on her flesh. He imagined that they would delight in consuming her and gaining her nutrients. 

"Shit! Me neither," Susie snarled, her thoughts likely wandering to the same idea as Berdly's. She shivered, squeezing her arms with her paws and wincing when they inevitably touched the spikes that adorned the uppermost part. 

Without thinking, she stepped closer to the bluebird and brought her arms around him, feeling him melt into the embrace. 

"I-I don't know what to do!" he blabbered, sobbing into her shoulder, "It feels like my whole world is ending and I can't do anything except stare." 

She awkwardly patted him on the back, her paws hitting the metal of his armor. 

After a pause, he continued, "I just feel so helpless! My only job was to help Noelle and look what happened!"

Upon saying that, he pointed to the other room with his wing. 

Susie cursed under her breath, frantically trying to come up with ways to comfort Berdly, who had begun to sob again. Unable to gather her thoughts, she squeezed him tighter, mumbling about how he had given his all, and that was it he could've done. 

"Look where my best got me," he said, "How am I supposed to live with myself after this?" 

Susie shrugged. 

"Look," she began, "I know how you feel, being all sad and shit, wanting to curl up in a ball and not deal with life. But, sometimes you just gotta push through, okay? It'll take a lot of energy, but being happy," at that, her eyes began to fill with tears, "you have to work for it."

Berdly nodded in response, wiping at his eyes and sniffling. After some hesitation, he gave her a reluctant thumbs up with his wing, praying that she would erase this incident from her mind. 

"Am I a bad person?" he asked, instantly regretting it.

"Nah," she responded, "If you are, then we all are bad people."

He gestured for her to elaborate, which she refused to do. 

"C-Can you contact Queen?" she asked, keen to change the subject. 

"Probably..?" he said, getting out his phone and holding it for her to see. For some unknown reason, it had not been damaged by the ice, the only mark that it had even been there was a slight coolness on its surface. 

He brought it to his ear.

A noise unlike any other rang through the room, sounding like a mishmash of various things they had all heard, but distorted beyond recognition. Somehow, it was simultaneously the organ of his church, nails on a chalkboard, and every other thing they had ever imaginable, but all made to their most extreme, grating upon their ears. 

Once it ended, Susie let go of Berdly and whispered, "What the fuck?" 

Berdly nodded in solidarity, believing that to be the only valid reaction to whatever that was. 

"Guess we can't use our phone here," she remarked, making to grab it from his wings as if he would attempt to make another call.

"Sorry!" he said, freely handing it over, wincing when she snatched it, nearly tossing it to the ground in shock.

She shook her head, "Don't be." 

He bobbed his head, too exhausted to give a verbal response. After assessing their situation, he whispered, "I guess we have to go." 

Susie nearly slammed it to the ground, wiping her eyes using her free paw. She swore, looking back to where Kris and Ralsei were, half-wondering if it would be best to stay with the two, but unable to properly word her thoughts. 

"...Yeah," she agreed, beginning to take a step to the hallway, dramatically hitting her shoes against the floor in large strides. 

Noticing that she had begun to move, Berdly grabbed her arm and said, "Let's go together and close our eyes." 

Despite the many flaws with this plan, she agreed and they began to blindly trek through the room that Noelle died in, holding tightly onto the other, too afraid to open their eyes and face the horrors that would await them, 

After a few paces, Berdly felt the ground under his talon grow slippery. Before he could say anything, he began to fall onto the floor, dragging Susie along with him. 

Nearly hitting his head on the ground, it seemed to him that he would fall forever, losing himself in the cold breeze and eventually becoming one with the atmosphere. 

To his disappointment, he reached the ground, Susie nearly crushing him on her way down. 

"Shi-" she began, carelessly opening her eyes. A muffled scream made its way up her throat, choking her of her words. 

At that, Berdly opened his eyes as well, horrified at the sight in front of him. 

It was where Noelle, encased in ice, lay, frozen. Her robes seemed to grow impossibly paler under the ice, making her look like an otherworldly creature.

Her fur, once rich and maroon, looked to be surrounded by a blue tint, not entirely covering the color but muffling it nonetheless. Some of her fur stuck out in small patches, sticking against the giant ice crystal. Her eyes were bulging in their sockets, making it seem as if they were a second away from falling out, if not for the ice, which rubbed against them. The pupils too seemed to be distorted by the ice, the once vibrant emerald green now closer to the pale blue that covered her. 

On her paw stood the thorn ring, which still managed to pierce her skin, the droplets of blood now frozen, unable to fall onto the ground. 

Worst of all was her expression, a small smile that was forever engrained on her face. 

"Oh my god!" Susie whispered under her breath, trying to avert her gaze from this grisly sight, rapidly fidgeting. 

Berdly, on the other hand, was completely frozen in place, unable to move or defend himself. He shook, his breath beginning to come out in hoarse gasps as he felt himself slip, part of his mind gleefully singing a dirge for the monster he once was, now nearly dead where he stood.

Unconsciously, he began to sway to this imaginary song, nearly closing his eyes, but unable to do so. 

Susie jerked her head in his direction, sensing his distress. Finally, she grabbed him by the wing and lugged him into the empty hallway. 

Finally reaching the end, all that stood was a sewer, the lid slightly ajar. 

"Well," she began to herself, opening it and awkardly taking a step in, still hauling Berdly, "fuck it!" 

Chapter Text

Darkness enveloped Berdly's vision, covering his sight with an endless abyss of black. Faintly, he heard Susie scream: "Shit! What the fuck?!" as his body, now completely limp, slammed to the ground with a sickening thump. 

Without another word, he slipped into a state of unconsciousness, allowing himself to fade away from the world around him. 

"Berdly, are you okay?" she asked him, only to get no response. She swore under her breath and began to drag him through the sewer. 

After a few painful minutes, she finally saw a light at the end of the tunnel, glaring into her eyes and forcing her to squint. She hauled him up then followed suit, jumping onto the cerulean floor and grabbing at his wing, gently lifting him up. 

When her gaze shifted her surroundings, she was astounded to find a massive mansion standing in front of her, connected by a bright red beam, which seemed to shine directly in her eyes. 

The mansion, large and imposing, was made into the shape of Queen's face, her mouth wide open, making way for the light to shine through. It seemed to be made of concrete, with how vibrant the colors were shining though, despite the distance. 

Finally, the robot that this massive structure was modeled after emerged, her posture stiff. 

"Oh Why Hello," Queen said, her voice blank, "Where Is My Faithful Peon." 

Upon saying that, she frantically looked around, her hands reaching to her forehead, covering the area as if she were a part of a safari. At that moment, Susie could've sworn she heard animal noises.

The monster set Berdly on the floor, gesturing to her that he needed some aid. Awkwardly, Queen shuffled to him, asking, "What Has He Done This Time." 

In response, all she did was shrug and say, "I-It wasn't him for once! You see, Noel-" 

"Oh Noelle. Do You Have Her Whereabouts?" she interrupted, enthusiastically coming closer. 

Susie looked away, "I wish I wasn't the one to tell you this, but Noelle is-"

Berdly gasped, finally awake.

"I think I had a dream," he rasped out, blindly grabbing at Susie, who only dropped him in response. 

"What Was It Pertaining To," Queen asked, filing her robotic nails with a nonexistent file. 

"It was really a nightmare, to be honest," he whispered, his mind flashing to what visions had plagued him earlier. 

All Berdly could see was a white blanket covering his vision. Upon further inspection, it seemed that the source of this was millions of tiny snowflakes, gently falling onto the ground in a large pile.  He looked around, trying to find someone who could help him, and coughed, the particles flowing into the air before getting lost in the snowstorm. 

Faintly, he heard footsteps crunch under the snow, the sound seeming much closer than he would have thought. He blindly rushed in what he assumed to be the right direction, holding out his wings and waving them around. After a moment, he hit a silent form, crashing against them and nearly falling to the ground. 

Before he could, someone grabbed at his wing, roughly pulling him up amidst the snowstorm. Without another word, they let go and began to retreat, leaving him oblivious to their identity. 

Berdly shook his head, trying to clear both his head and the weather around him, the latter of which surprisingly worked. 

In a matter of seconds, the snow had ceased to fall and there stood Noelle, still clad in her white robes from before, nearly blending in with their surroundings. 

She looked as if she had never died, her form rigidly straight as if her spine had been replaced by a wooden ruler, forcing her to keep good posture. In contrast, her fur was quite ragged, with several tufts seeming to be on the verge of falling out as if it was craving to expose the skin underneath to the cold weather. 

Noticing this, he looked down in shame, as he had nothing to offer her. In doing so, he noticed the Thorn Ring, which stood proudly on her finger. The once beautifully-carved wood was now closer to a jumble of twigs, nearly falling apart at some places. Nonetheless, it pierced her finger, although the blood had long since dried out. 

Her lips, which had turned a frightening shade of blue, were ridden with cracks, causing some blood to stain the fur near it. 

"Noelle! You're alive," he sobbed out, frantically running towards her, his vision obscured by the snow. He brought his wings around her cold form, enveloping her in his warmth. 

Tears began to drip from his eyes, quickly freezing in the frigid atmosphere. 

"I'm dead," she gingerly whispered, returning his hug and squeezing him, "I always have been." 

He shook his head, "I see you right here, though! We ca-"

Her giggled, shrill and mocking, interrupted him, ringing in his ears. Instead of stopping, all she did was laugh harder, causing tears to fall down her face in glee. She crescendoed, now nearly howling with laughter, grasping at her sides in pain. 

"Noelle!" he shouted, his voice stern, "What exactly is so funny? I… I don't get this joke."

She shook her head, finally ceasing her cruel symphony. Prying his wings off of her, she began to walk away, her robe fluttering with the wind. It felt as if each step was curt, as if she was trying to hurt him in her very movements.

"Wait!" he said to her, dusting off his armor using his wings, "Tell me what is going on!" 

"Well," she began, "I'm dead, and you will be too at that rate. Forget a happy afterlife full of sunshine," at that, she snorted, "and rainbows, we're stuck in a tundra! And do you want to know the worst part?"

He shook his head in horror.

"We're never getting out. Trust me, I've tried. I screamed until my voice got hoarse, begged, even tried to rip my own throat out, as if dying twice would cancel it all out. But nothing ever works. It's like I'm stuck in my own personal hell!" she howled, her pupils turning to pinpricks. 

Berdly gasped, taking a step away from her in fear. 

"The worst part is," she continued, her breath hoarse, "it's all your fault." 

Finally, he spoke, "I know! Just stop telling me that!" 

"Berdly, why did you let me die?" Noelle asked, the ring on her finger still embedded into the sensitive flesh. Her face contorted into a saccharine smile, and began twisting the ring using her other paw, the skin slowly flaking away under the thorns, falling onto the snowy ground in a small heap. 

Suddenly, she opened her mouth, sticking out her tongue to him as if she were mocking him. 

The organ was stained a suspicious red color, dominating its natural pink tone in a sea of ruby. 

"This is all there ever is, and all there ever was. This is the end of everything! Now, my world, feast upon me like you never had before." she wailed, her voice becoming impossibly loud, reverberating in his ears. 

Without another word, she shakily brought her paw to grasp her tongue and began to pull with all her might, at first only stretching it, her saliva now almost frozen from the chilliness. 

After a pause, Noelle increased her efforts, pulling it taut against her fingers, which were unsteady as they held onto it. From the left side, a rip was heard and blood began to trickle from the wound, flowing onto her robes. Instead of stopping, she only pulled harder, now expanding the injury, veins bursting upon being severed. She continued, the once pink flesh now stained a deep red. 

She sobbed, tears escaping her eyes, which had closed from the pain. 

Finally, she was halfway through, now feeling it dangle by the loose flesh, which had begun to rapidly spasm. She opened her eyes and looked down, finding that blood had begun to flow down, down onto her whole chest, causing the fur to stick together in small red peaks. 

She closed her eyes again and rapidly pulled at her tongue, almost done with her carnage. It tore further, the tissue now seconds away from separating on its own, only kept together by a pathetic piece of flesh, which had begun to rip apart, even going as far as to nearly fray under this pressure. 

With a final pull, she rid herself of her tongue, the wound now fully visible for Berdly, who was yet again frozen in horror, to see. 

Triumphantly, she held it up, closing her mouth, which quickly became full with the dark liquid, causing her to slightly open it, making it slowly trickle down from her cracked lips, too weak to fully flow. Deeply contrasting with this was her now severed tongue, which freely dripped in a large stream, falling onto the ground and melting the snow with its warmth. 

Finally, her lips curled into a euphoric smile, further making her nearly doused in her own sanguine fluid. 

The snow, once lacking any color and uncorrupted, was now stained the crimson color of blood.

Chapter Text

Warmth, like a blanket, enveloped Ralsei, gently lulling the tired boy back to sleep. He submitted to its pull, burrowing his head deeper into the soft surface which he had been placed on, his eyes still shut. He shifted, feeling a scratchy quilt brush against his fur, and at his head was a pillow..? 

Startled, he opened his eyes, only to find that he had been placed in a dark room, completely swaddled by an array of blankets, the first being the quilt that now touched him. He brought an arm out, feeling the many blankets unravel, and began to push them off him, softly hearing them fall to the ground. 

Finally, he had escaped his cocoon and began to tippy-toe across the room, his footsteps softly thumping against the digitized tiles, colored a minty green, which shone a dim light around, but not enough for him to properly navigate himself. 

"Where am I?" he whispered to himself, wiping the sleep away from his eyes. He thought back to the previous events, the Cyber World, eating cotton candy with Susie, and Noelle's death. 

He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the thoughts. 

Was she rotting by now? part of him wondered, Or has Queen already disposed of her? Besides, it'd make no sense to invite me to the funeral of all people. 

That must mean that she had taken him to her mansion, where he assumed Berdly and Susie had gone, craving to tell Noelle's story to the robot that had taken the deceased girl under her wing. 

He blindly stumbled around, his paws finally hitting against a wall, which he used to navigate to a light switch. Upon realizing that it was down, he flicked it up, light flooding the room in response. 

Ralsei winced as this brightness assaulted his eyes, covering everything he could see with it. Shaking his head, he rubbed his face with a paw, then gathered the courage to face the world, or at least his room. 

The first thing he noticed was an array of trophies, all golden and harshly reflecting the light. Although they were all various heights, each boasted: First Place! From chess tournaments to snuggling contests, each proudly displayed that the owner of this room had won many awards. 

To the left of this display was a long list of thousands of words, all scribbled in messy pen. The paper was like a larger version of the standard notebook paper, the blue lines holding three options each, all squashed in with each other. In awe, Ralsei stepped closer, only to find that the list was of various college majors in alphabetical order. He noticed that several were circled in red pen, the most notable of which being: Youth Counselling & Therapy , which was circled several times. 

He looked away, embarrassed to have invaded someone's personal life so much, only for his wide eyes to fall onto one final thing, a striped sweater. It looked to be quite large, most likely too big for anyone his size, and seemed to be quite faded from frequent use, patches of green and yellow almost closer to white than its original color. 

The coloring reminded him of a certain someone.

"Is this…" he whispered to himself, "Asriel's room in Queen's mansion?"

The sweater was definitely too big to be Kris', so that seemed to be the only logical conclusion. He walked closer, reading the tag: coziest sweaters to give your younger sibling.

His heart clenched as he imagined Asriel, away at college, yearning to make a connection with Kris, who was nearly a world apart. 

He brought his paw to the sweater, noticing that it was the softest thing he's ever felt. Rubbing at it, he barely resisted the urge to snuggle into it and fall back asleep. His head was filled with cotton as he accepted the comfort of the sweater, desperate for any kind of contact. 

He jerked away, frantically looking around, trying to distract himself from a momentary lapse of judgment. He wracked his mind for anything he could think of, from manuals to recipes, and finally to everything that he had been taught by his mentor. Finally, he realized that something was wrong. 

"I could've sworn that Kris' room in the mansion had a laser cage. Why doesn't this one?" he thought aloud, placing a fluffy paw on his bed where the many blankets had been placed, creating a pattern of various colors. 

Finally, he walked over to the desk that had been placed next to the door. Papers were strewn about, most of which had messy writing on them. He grabbed the one closest to him. It was a receipt for a private detective. 

Intrigued, he looked closer. 

It was about the disappearance of another student, one who presumably went to his college as well. It stated that this missing student had mysteriously vanished a couple of years ago, was a monster, and had a little sister named Noelle. 

At the mention of the now-deceased girl, Ralsei stepped away. Tears filled his eyes as he read over her name, again and again. His mind flashed to each time she had been mentioned by Susie, who was clearly pining for her, and every time Kris had talked about their passion for pranking their friend. 

He lingered on that last word: friend. 

One short syllable, yet it was something he was so close, yet so far, to attaining. It mocked Ralsei in its paradoxical simpleness and complexity, its closeness yet also the impossible distance between him and the idea, both foreign and familiar in his mind. 

He was the lonely prince, after all, and he had things to do, monsters to help, and above all, was unable to have any close companions, not even somebody who would truly reciprocate his outpouring love, which had taken root in his heart and spread, like a disease, to the rest of his body.

He looked over the name of the student: December Holiday . 

She was quite obviously both missed and loved throughout her life (and after it). Just looking around this version of Asriel's room in this world told him that they both had been cherished by others! 

Even Kris, who frequently pulled pranks and slept during class, was held dearly by many they had come into contact with. 

Who am I? Ralsei thought to himself, Who am I compared to them?

"I'm nobody," he answered his own thoughts, "I may guide others, but I never linger! Why is that so?"

After a pause, he shouted, "Don't I deserve to be happy?"

Although he was alone in this room, he screamed as if he were talking to a god, begging them for a way to finally have a mutual connection in this cold world, which had shunned him for the entirety of his short life. 

Faintly, he realized that tears freely flowed down his eyes now, soaking his white fur, too large to simply pool in his eyes. 

He finally broke, sobs ripping their way from his throat and creeping out of his mouth. They were the ugly kind, ones that made him frantically gasp for breath each time they bubbled forth, only forcing him to cry harder and contemplate how pathetic he was, crying alone in a room that wasn't even his. 

It would never be his room, or his life, or his friends! 

So painfully did he realize that he was himself, all of his flaws and trials thrust onto his young mind, which was too naive to refuse. 

Bawling as his head raced with his thoughts, he was unable to notice a faint knock on his door, long spaces left between each bang . 

After a pause, the door was gingerly opened by an unknown figure, exposing him to the outside world. He jerked his head towards the newfound light, now aware of this presence.

To his shock, Kris was standing in the door, their eyes red from crying. In one hand, they held a ceramic mug of steaming tea, which emitted the scent of mint and a copious amount of honey.   

"Ralsei..?" they asked, silently shutting the door behind them, "Are you okay?" 

Chapter Text

A pregnant silence ran between the two friends, only broken by Ralsei's waning sobs, muffled by his paw. Kris strode to him, setting the mug on the desk, a dark ring forming under the wood where it was set. 

"Are you," they whispered, averting their gaze, "okay?" Despite the clear and obvious answer being no, he shook his head, his ears bonking against the pink rims of his glasses. 

"I-I'm," he stumbled, "I'm fine!" Although his voice sounded strained, he refused to retract this blatant lie. 

"Well-" they said, then suddenly stumbled backward, their gaze blanking and unseeing. 

"Want a hug?" they asked, their voice flat and without emotion. They gasped, their eyes staring straight into his soul, wide pupils obscuring any and all traces of the crimson he had grown so accustomed to seeing. They began to shake, bringing their arms around their body, as if trying to embrace themself. 

Ralsei stepped back, pointing a paw at them, "Are you okay? You seem off, to say the least."

To his horror, a distraught scream began to rip out of Kris' throat, shrill and panicked. They grew in volume, their voice hoarse and hollow, grating against his ears. It cut into the tension like a knife, throwing away any pretenses of geniality at that moment. 

Tears began to fall down their eyes, dampening their cheeks. Their lip quivered as they tried to stop crying, only for their sobs to increase instead. 

"Kris, please stop!" he begged them, running over to embrace the now sobbing teen. Now awkwardly crouching, they melted in his arms, growing limp and slouching against him. He began to gently shush the crying teen, bringing his paws to rest on their back.

They shook their head. 

Ralsei paused in his endeavors. "Kris," he whispered, "You're okay." 

"But Noelle isn't!" they wailed, squeezing his neck with their arms, "And she never will be!"

They borrowed his head into his emerald green robes, wetting the fabric with their tears. 

He bit his lip, pondering what to say. After a pause, he responded, "She's in a better place now." 

They "So? She's still gone! I'll never be able to t-throw snowballs at her, or listen to her rant about her crush on Susie, o-or ask her for help on my algebra homework! Never again! And it's all my fault because I was too weak and cowardly to-" 

They were cut off by a sniffle, this one coming from Ralsei. They craned their neck up to see that he too was crying now, fat tears dripping onto his white fur, causing his mascara to smudge on his face.

Faintly, Kris thought that he looked like a raccoon. 

Ralsei whispered, "Kris, you are so much more than that. You have experienced pain that somebody your age can't even imagine, but also contain the brightness of a million stars within you. You are the culmination of thousands of years of war and pain and death, but also of hope and love. Both the darkness and the light battle for your soul, yet you persist! You try to act on the side of good and do the right thing, despite all that has happened! You," he held on just a little bit tighter, "are so much stronger than you know, a knight of justice within our world. Never forget that, Kris. Never forget."  

"But," Kris began, "I let her die! A-And I hurt her so much. You can't say all these things about justice without realizing that I did a lot of bad things." Their voice was muffled by Ralsei's cloak, which seemingly wrapped around the pair to protect them. 

This is it , he realized, Right here, right now, I can tell Kris a million things they never would know and never could know if I so please.

His heart dropped and a wave of melancholy surged through him. 

He could change everything if he wished so. Before he could open his mouth, his mind flooded with memories. Years upon years of solitude, tirelessly waiting for someone to arrive and save him, only for him to be swept into an adventure, one unlike anything he's ever imagined. He remembered conversing with himself in the mirror, practicing for when these elusive figures would come. In it, he cultivated himself to be as kind and friendly as possible, praying that it would be enough to satiate his all-consuming emptiness. 

He remembered sobbing in his bed, loneliness consuming him from the inside out. And finally, he thought back to a bony hand, reaching out from the darkness, offering him something that he had long since given up on: hope. 

And now, hope had abandoned him the very second Noelle's Snowgrave struck the wrong person. 

At that thought, he did the most radical thing he could: he smiled. 

He whispered, "K-Kris I'm so sorry. I know so much more than I let on, and you deserve to learn about some of it."

They nodded against him, bringing their arms to wrap around his shoulders, which had ceased to shake by now. 

He began, "You already know about th-"

Before he could finish his sentence, they both heard a knock at the door. A few seconds later, Susie emerged, donning a crisp suit. It was colored a deep purple and surprisingly enough, lacked any holes in the fabric. With it was an emerald green tie that matched horribly. Despite her neat outfit, her hair was messy as usual, dark strands flying out of the elastic band that was hastily wrapped around her hair.  

"Ralsei!" she said, "And Kris-" She swore under her breath, pulling at her tie with a shaking paw, loosening it around her neck. 

Eyes wide, the embracing pair looked at her. Ralsei slowly blinked, "Why are you wearing a suit?" 

Susie's face went red, the dark purple morphing into a deep magenta, accentuating her scales. She bit her lip and spat out, "It's time for Noelle's funeral and we gotta dress up."

Her voice was choked as she spoke, it seeming closer to hoarse gasps than her usual tone of faux haughtiness. 

She looked upward, feeling her throat clench out of grief. 

"Oh c'mon you two!" she cut in, "Let me in the hug as well." Her voice cracked, causing a humorless laugh to spring out of Kris. 

They both opened their arms to her and she ran into them, her eyes now filled with glistening tears. She squeezed her friends, picking them up in the process. Ralsei giggled, his laughter light and airy, ringing, like bells, in their ears.

"This is nice,"  Ralsei murmured, "j-just being with you two. I'm glad we are still together, despite it all." 

Kris nodded in agreement, gesturing for Susie to set them down onto the bed, the sheets still strewn about. She complied, giving a watery smile once they were safely seated on a cyan blanket. 

Ralsei tapped it, silently demanding that she sit next to him and Kris. 

Awkwardly, she did so, slinging an arm around her friends and pulling them closer to her. Kris closed their eyes, leaning into her, beginning to feel sleep cloud their mind. Ralsei nuzzled into her, gently smiling at her rare display of affection.

"Hey," she began, "Ralsei, can I ask a kind of stupid question?"

He looked up at her, his fluffy hair now tousled, and responded, "Of course! No question is stupid!" 

She took a deep breath in, inhaling the air as if she was drowning, and wiped at her eyes. "D-Do you think it'd be possible to bring back Noelle?" she asked, her voice nearly dying on the last few syllables.

At that, Ralsei nearly jerked away, only stopping when he noticed that Susie's eyes were filled with tears. He looked away from her, turning to look at Kris, his eyes boring into their very soul. 

"Susie," he gently replied, still staring at Kris, "You can't just bring the dead back to life for good reason. If it ever happened, there would be disastrous consequences! I know you don't want that to happen, right?" His voice was raucous and panicked, making them both wonder what exactly would happen. 

She nodded in response, turning to stare at the green and yellow sweater. "You're sure?" she asked, rocking them all back and forth to an imaginary rhythm that rang through her mind. 

"Yes," he replied, surprisingly firm, "That will never happen!" Upon those words leaving his lips, he stood up, pushing her arm off him, watching as it unceremoniously fell onto the bed. He took several large steps backward, nearly crashing into the doorframe. He brought a paw to rest against it, faintly noticing that he was shaking. 

He looked out, the vastness of the hallway nearly overwhelming him as he imagined having to walk alone. He lurched forward, nearly stumbling onto the carpeted floor. 

After a pause, Ralsei walked out, his footsteps unsteady as he did so. 

"Never!" Ralsei repeated this word to himself, allowing it to become his mantra amidst the chaos that had invaded his life. 

Chapter Text

"What the fuck?" Susie asked, her yellow-tinged eyes wide with confusion. She pulled her suit jacket off, nearly throwing it at Kris, who was now seated beside her. 

They only shrugged in response, getting off the bed, which let out a long creak, as they began to walk around the room. 

Kris jerked their head towards the door as if they were pondering if it would be worth it to follow Ralsei. 

"Hey, you," she said, silently standing next to them, grasping the sweater in her paws, taking it off the rack, and shoving it to Kris. They held it tightly, then pulled it over their head. As a result, their hair became frizzy, the dark strands falling out of place. They brought the sleeve to their mouth and sniffed, scrunching their nose. 

Nonetheless, they kept it on, relishing in the comfort that is provided.

"Looks like the one you wear at home," she remarked, sitting back down, refusing to address the elephant in the room. 

They shrugged in response, tugging at the sweater and sitting down next to her. After a pause, they whispered, "Reminds me of when I was younger." 

"Oh?" she asked, pulling a cyan sheet over her shoulders, ignoring how it messed up her suit, causing the fabric to crinkle under its pressure. 

They looked away and said, "Y-Yeah. This looks just like the one Asriel got me when…" 

"When?" she inquired. Faintly, she noticed that tears had begun to fill their eyes, which were usually obscured by their long bangs. 

"When the Dreemurs first adopted me," Kris began, "A-And it was my first day with them and I was so nervous. Out of all the days, this is the one I remember the most clearly."

The sun shone onto the neatly trimmed lawn, nearly making each blade of grass shine under its light, reflecting it onto the house, which was painted a crisp white. Inside, the curtains were opened, revealing several meticulously organized rooms, the most notable of which having a small cake on the table. The walls were painted a pale yellow and had several patterns on it, one being a multitude of cartoon buttercups, painted with great passion. 

Outside, a young child at about the age of seven was walking towards the building, holding onto their adopted mother's hand. 

"Do you think I'll fit in?" Kris asked, craning their neck to look at her. 

In response, Toriel only gave a soft laugh and brought her paw to ruffle their hair, "You don't have to fit in, my child. All you must do is be happy." 

Averting their eyes, they spat out, "But you don't get it!" 

She chuckled at their whining, "You're absolutely right." She picked up her child, who rested their arms on her lilac dress and began to sway her body, humming a soft lullaby. 

"Then why do you say that it doesn't matter?" they asked, pulling their bangs over the face and turning their head to the sun, relishing in its warmth. 

She gently smiled, "Because you will be accepted, regardless of if you 'fit in' or not. And besides, the girl next door is quite excited to meet you!" 

They perked up, rapidly looking around as if they could somehow meet their neighbor at that moment. She chuckled at their antics, rubbing at their head with a soft paw. 

"R-Really?" they asked in disbelief.
She nodded, "Of course! Her name is Noelle and she has an older sister around Asriel's age. You remember him, correct?" 

They scoffed, "Of course! I still have the toy he gave me when we first met." At that, they crossed their arms in pride, remembering the stuffed dog that he offered to them. 

It was still in the backpack, waiting to be played with. 

"Well," she began, her white fur tousled from movement, "He has a friend- Noelle's older sister. Everyone calls her Dess, but her real name is December." 

They gasped, realizing that they were now much closer to their new home. Wiggling, they attempted to free themself from her grasp, only for her to gingerly set them onto the path in response. Nearly slipping on the loosely packed dirt, they stumbled forward, eager to start a new chapter of their life. 

The sound of their unsteady steps rang in their ears, making it all feel much more real, for lack of a better term. 

They approached the door, Toriel close behind. 

"I-" they rasped out, "I'm nervous." 

To their immense surprise, she giggled, out of all things, in response, clear and steady despite the situation. 

Their cheeks stained rouge from embarrassment, they stuttered, "W-Why are you laughing at me? I thought you wanted me to express myself and sh- stuff!" 

She held their hand, her paw nearly engulfing the petite limb, and declared, "Yes, you are nervous. No, it is not really that funny. But, I promise you, that soon enough, these anxieties of yours will seem quite trivial, if you know what that word means." 

The only thing Kris associated it with was a television show, their mind replaying the beginning notes to its cheery theme song, imagining the host singing along to the jingle. 

"Well, it means like stupid, but not exactly so," Toriel warmly said, scratching her chin with her paw, "It's like… not important!"

They nodded in understanding, mischievously planning the many ways that they could use this new word.

"Are you ready?" she asked, ready to open the oaken door.

"Not really," they responded, "but I don't think I'll ever really be, y'know, ready."

With that confirmation, she opened the door with zeal, revealing two familiar figures around a frosted each holding a gift. 

"Kris!" they both said, approaching the young child, each having a large smile on their faces. 

The older one pointed to himself, "My name is Asgore, as you know, and I want to give you this." Once those words left his lips, he delicately handed Kris a small wrapped package. His voice was rich, each quiet syllable sounding deep and deliberate as if he had spent quite a while deciding what to say. 

In comparison, he looked to be a very homey monster, with messy white fur, some near curling, all around his body. It was pretty long, Kris faintly realized, but it looked very cool as if he were a hippie or something like that. Even his clothes seemed to match this aesthetic, with him donning a pair of loose jeans and a tie-dye shirt that had many ruffles. 

He handed them the gift with a large smile, watching in excitement as they timidly opened it, revealing a packet of seeds. When their eyes landed on the present, he said, "I will teach you how to grow flowers, a hobby that gives me much joy. Now, Asriel, you can give your gift if you so wish." 

He stepped away and his son stepped closer, his eyes wide with apprehension. He looked to be a young teen, hardly older than fourteen, with large glasses and baggy clothes that seemed to engulf his small form, which was covered in the same color fur as his father. Using a small paw, he gave them the present. It was covered in lavender tissue paper, the texture clearly showing that it was an article of clothing. They opened their gift, revealing a green and yellow sweater. 

The colors were neon, closer to a digital drawing than any sort of clothing.

Toriel cringed and stared at her husband for some help, thinking that such an ugly gift would only deter Kris from opening up to them. 

Asriel bit his lip and walked closer to his mother, allowing the child to bask in their newfound belongings. 

"So..?" he asked, his voice nearly cracking. "Do you like it?" he murmured, twiddling with his paws, several of which were adorned with rings. 

To the family's shock, Kris only laughed, uncaring and innocent, reminding them that they were just a child and likely elated to have any gift at all. 

"I love it!" they shouted, rushing over to hug their brother, nearly knocking over the cake in the process. He embraced Kris, bringing his arms under their shoulders and lifting the child, his expression turning into a smile as they giggled at being held up. 

Both Asgore and Toriel breathed a sigh of relief. 

"That's good!" Susie nearly screamed, awkwardly patting them on the back. She brought the blanket over their shoulders, which had begun to shake. 

After a pause, she heard a faint snore emit from her friend, who looked much younger than when they were awake.

Shrugging, she closed her eyes and slipped into a deep sleep, too exhausted to care about the world around her and wanting to be free of her worries, if only for a brief moment. 

Chapter Text

"Oh my god," Ralsei whispered to himself, enveloping himself in his cloak, "I just walked out! What the heck is wrong with me?!" 

Like a wave, self-hatred crashed against him, making it feel as if he had lost his footing. Again and again, it crushed him, drowning him in his sea of emotions. 

"Water," he rasped out, suddenly parched, his tongue like sandpaper, "I'm thirsty." 

He looked around the hallway, seeing a multitude of doors to his left and no options to his right. The doors, painted a crisp purple, each had a carving of Queen's face, smiling at him as if to mock him. Her grin, large and artificial, seemed to bore down on him, making his eyes drift to the carpet, colored a similar shade to the doors.

Faintly, he thought he heard the sound of crying within the door labeled with Berdly's name. 

It sounded passionate, as if the sufferer had torn out their own heart, and, it still beating, held it up to a god, the blood still running down the arms in large streams. In his mind, he could almost picture it: Berdly, sacrificing himself for some doomed cause, desperate for his strained voice to ring throughout the ears of his nonexistent audience.

He imagined him stumbling, then collapsing onto the ground, a lifeless heap on the ground, with his circulan feathers stained with the crismon color of blood. 

"Am I a bad person?" he whispered to himself, his voice hoarse as if his throat had been filled with sand, choking him from the inside out. He coughed, wiping at his eyes with a fluffy paw, noticing that it came off damp. 

"Am I really who I say I am?" he rasped out, his glasses having fallen on the floor, nearly shattering the lenses in the process. 

He heard a voice in his mind speak to him, deep and rich. 

Of course not, it rang out, its tone one of sheer pleasure, You have lied to them for so long about who you are. Do you think they'd really accept you now, after all you've hidden from them? 

"Y-You're right!" he agreed, frantically wiping at his eyes, attempting to remove any signs of weakness. He sighed, weak and resigned, "I'm a fraud. I'm fully aware of that. Now please, leave me be for a bit. I need to properly communicate with a certain someone." 

The voice snorted, but seconds later, he was left alone. 

Ralsei looked around, "I need some paper." 

He searched his pockets, his scarf, and even the inside of his hat, only to come up empty-handed. He thought back to where he had seen paper: the desk in Asriel's room. 

"Shoot," he whined, "I don't wanna go back!" In a sudden display of childishness, he stamped his feet as if he was about to have a tantrum. 

In his final moments of freedom, he squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath in, inhaling the air like he had nearly drowned, feeling the oxygen inflate his lungs. 

"Welp, here I go." 

He awkwardly walked closer to his room, seeing that the door was cracked open, light seeping into the hallway. He gently rapped on the door, eagerly awaiting a response. 

These few moments of silence seemed to utterly consume him, forcing him to wonder if he should run away, never to be seen again. Before he could focus on this thought, he heard a snore ring out. 

To his surprise, it was Susie's! 

He silently thanked the universe for this miracle bestowed upon him. Creeping in the room, he looked around, noticing that Kris was wearing the sweater, which looked to be several sizes too big. To their left, Susie was napping, her mouth agape from sleep. She had slung an arm around Kris, pulling them close to her body as if trying to protect her friend from the world around them, 

Ralsei's heart clenched at the sweet sight, breaking some stubborn part of him that futilely attempted to stay strong through it all. Like paper, he crumpled, sinking to his knees on the tiles, surprisingly cold against his white fur. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered to them both, too scared to muster up the courage to raise his voice, to scream at that with all this might, beg for some semblance of forgiveness-! 

A sob ripped its way from his throat, nearly startling the teens awake. He blindly stepped forward, eyes too clouded by tears to work properly, finally grasping the deks, causing several papers to soar in the air. 

He reached on the desk, only to find that it seemed completely empty, aside from the occasional stray piece of paper or sticky note. He held one up to his face, just close enough to read. 

It looked to be a diary entry, written in indecipherable handwriting, droplets of water adorning the page. 

"E...Entry 17?" he asked himself, bringing the paper closer to him. 

It felt as if ice water had filled his heart at that, freezing him where he stood. 

He dropped the paper, unable to take it anymore.

"I shouldn't be using a diary entry, of all things," he said, his voice shaky, breaking the silence that had enveloped him. 

After some searching, he finally found a blank sheet of paper and a pencil that was barely sharp enough to write with. 

Looking back to his friends one last time, he walked out of the room, slowly shutting the door on his way out. 

Once he did so, he sat down in the hallway and began to use the claws on his left paw to break down the wood on the pencil, barely able to make it a pathetic looking point. 

Ralsei looked around, considering the situation. If he so wanted, he could go back to Kris and Susie, plead for them to love him, despite his deceit and lies. He allowed himself to be held captive by the fantasy, his friends accepting him again, allowing him to ugly-cry and freely speak, for once in his life. 

In theory, it was pleasant, blissful even- to expose the darkest parts of himself and still be cared for in response. 

He swayed from his place on the floor, slowly standing up to go back. 

Before he could take a step to the door, he dropped his pencil, the sound snapping him out of his thoughts. 

"I need to do this," he told himself, dropping down to write again, this time determined to actually do something for once. 

His paw shaking, he brought the pencil down onto the paper, allowing his thoughts to flow onto the page.   

Good afternoon, 

It's Ralsei again. So as you probably know by now, Noelle died to her own spell, for some godforsaken reason. I'm not sure the specifics, but am planning on asking Kris about it ASAP. All I know is that this was definitely not supposed to happen, and we need to do something to fix the mess we've gotten ourselves into. I have no idea what to do and await your advice. 

Without you, I am nothing, so please do respond quickly. Your guidance has been the only reason I have any clue what to do. I feel so lost without your advice. 

That being said, don't take this as a challenge to your authority! I take your word as gospel and would do anything you say. But please, make sure that you tell me what to do shortly so I can execute your command. 

Your faithful follower,

Ralsei 

Chapter Text

Flames, crismon and powerful, erupted from the paper, causing it to char and burn, fully engulfed by the fire. 

Ralsei's handwriting, neat and loopy, slowly faded into the sea of black, finally becoming a pathetic pile of ash in its wake, the carpet left undisturbed. 

"Now," he said, "I hope you get this letter soon." He rolled his shoulder and began to walk back to the room where Kris and Susie were staying when a cough interrupted him.

Shaking, he turned back to see Berdly, clad in very comfortable-looking pajamas with many cubes on the design. The bluebird looked exhausted, with large bags underneath his eyes, hardly concealed by his feathers. 

Ralsei called out his name and ran to him, watching in horror as he collapsed against him, his body immediately going limp.

"Are you sleepwalking?" he asked him, his voice raspy. When he got no response, he sighed and set him on the carpeted floor, careful not to drop him, although he was very tempted to. 

Berdly lazily shook his head, nearly opening his eyes, but remained mostly asleep. 

Now panicked, the goat boy looked around, desperate to have some idea on how to deal with Berdly. He paused, deep in thought, then sat down next to him. 

"You okay?" he whispered, not really expecting a response. 

When all he heard was a groan, a wave of concern rushed over him, causing him to try to lift his wing up in a futile attempt to wake him. He let go and it dropped to the floor as if it never had been lifted at all. 

Mustering all the energy he could, he began to cast his Heal Prayer, watching in awe as green particles emerged from his paws, surrounding Berdly. In response, the bluebird only shifted and sighed, unable to move. 

"B...Berdly?!" he whispered, "Do you want me to get Susie for you?" 

He remained silent.

"Please don't be dead," Ralsei begged him, "O-Or dying. We need you alive." 

Although his voice was steady, he spoke without any confidence, as if he was mostly trying to convince himself of the fact. 

"I'm saying, it's not like you were supposed to live this long," he admitted, then spat out, "It feels so pathetic, telling you all this while you can't even hear me! Isn't that so sad, I'm too cowardly to actually say this in person! Like how I can't tell Kris-" 

He cut himself off with a sigh and began to walk to the room, leaving Berdly on the carpeted ground. He paused, then brought his paw to the door, on the verge of knocking. 

Is this for the best? Ralsei asked himself, Am I doing the right thing? 

He shook his head and proceeded to knock on the door, then pushed it open. Inside, Susie and Kris were asleep on the bed, both blissfully unaware of the situation at hand. He hesitantly walked to the two, hoping to gently coax one of them awake.

With that in mind, he nudged Susie with his paw. 

When that didn't work, he lifted up her hair and said, "Want to bake some cookies with me? We can put chocolate chips in the batter." 

Her eyes immediately opened and she cheered in delight, careful not to wake her friend up. 

He giggled at her funny reaction, taking off his hat, wincing when the white fur on his head felt damp with sweat, and brought the hat to his snout, cringing at the scent. 

The emerald fabric, once clean and crisp, was now quite faded, most of the color being closer to white than green. By now, even the brim had been worn down by time, frequently stretching to cover his bright eyes, which in turn were obscured by his wide-rimmed glasses, now out of sight. 

"Ew," he said to himself, deeply inhaling the scent, "I need to wash this."

Susie rolled her eyes, snatching the hat in her paws and bringing it to her snout. She breathed in, laughing at his startled reaction. "It has a couple of wears left in it before it has to be washed," she said with a startling amount of confidence. 

He looked at her, confused at her statement. His eyebrows raised, he asked, "How do you know that?"

She shrugged, "Let's just say I wasn't able to frequently wash my clothes in the past. But you said you'd make me some cookies." 

He laughed, "I said we'd make cookies. But for now, I need you to get Berdly."

At that, her composure faltered, her face contorting from its usual rude expression to a much more concerned one, her lips dropping to the bottom of her face. 

"Berdly?" she asked for confirmation, to which Ralsei solemnly nodded his head, "You sure he's okay?"

He shrugged, "Will you just get him?" 

" 'Course I will," Susie said, her voice heavy with sleep, "Let me just get off and try not to wake Kris up. They need the sleep." 

Ralsei nodded in agreement at that final statement, his eyes lingering on Kris, who was curled deeper in the cyan blanket than before, nearly disappearing within it. 

Their hair fell down around their cheeks, exposing their eyes, which were peacefully closed. Their mouth, usually closed in a silent grimace, was slightly opened, a trail of saliva leaking down, nearly dropping on their sweater.

At that moment, they looked every bit their younger self, free from the burdens of their past. 

He tucked a stray bit of hair behind their ear, gently smiling at his sleeping friend. His eyes heavy, he sat down next to them and waited for Susie to return. 

Ralsei's glasses lay on the carpet, next to the pile of ash. The wireframing was bent, but it proudly stood as if protecting the bluebird from any harm that might come his way. When Susie saw this, she rushed to Berdly, slinging his wing over her shoulder, seeing him cower when the spikes brushed against his body. 

"Sorry, Birdbrain," she told him, "Maybe if you were able to walk this would be a bit easier." After a pause, she added, "N-Not that I blame you for being fucking exhausted after all this bullshit." 

Predictably, she got no response, so she decided to bring him back to his room. Quickly opening the door, she dragged him inside and threw his limp form on the bed, the mattress giving a small squeak in response to his weight. 

After that, she was back in the hallway with the glasses and ash. She knelt down next to the objects, quite intrigued by them. 

She picked up the glasses, bringing a lense to her eyes. After adjusting it, she remarked, "Really changes my perspective now, seeing through his eyes." 

Chapter Text

It felt like a fitting day for a funeral , Kris suddenly realized while adjusting their suit, To be honest, any day in Cyber World would be good for a funeral, with how it never rains. 

At that they let out a bitter laugh, feeling it reverberate in their lungs. They left Asriel's room and entered the hallway with one last look in the mirror, seeing their two companions waiting for them. 

Itching at the neck of their suit, they apologized, "Sorry if I made you guys wait. It was just… hard… to get ready for this."

Ralsei solemnly nodded his head, "It's okay, Kris." He hesitantly took a step closer, exposing his outfit, which matched with everyone else's, although it was a different color. 

They wrapped their arms around him, resting their head on his shoulder. 

"Kris?" he gently said their name, "Are you sure you want to go?"

They nodded, unable to articulate their thoughts amidst their overwhelming grief. Faintly noticing that Susie had decided to stay behind, the two shuffled from the hall to the rest of the Queen's Mansion, finally stopping at the lobby, where Noelle's casket stood. 

It was made of mahogany wood, worn by time, and featured several engravings, the most notable of which being the three heroes, all wearing large capes, obscuring their figures from view. The ornate carving, spanning most of the casket, also showed an angel, their wings stretched out, nearly surrounding the three.

Over them, there was delicate handwriting, reading: Gone from this world but not forgotten. You will forever remain in our hearts. 

It was a nice sentiment, but it left a bitter taste in Kris' mouth, reminding them of how a smile had stretched on her lips before she died, a final declaration of freedom amongst the manipulation that had entrapped her. 

It felt unfair to keep her in their heart when they had already hurt her so much when she was alive.

They scoffed, nearly hearing Ralsei's voice in their mind, assuring them that they did the best they could do to help her, that her untimely demise was out of their hands, which were itching to hold her white robes, begging for some semblance of forgiveness for their heinous crimes. 

They thought back to the time she had gotten her paws trimmed, the nails painted the same dark shade of her coffin, the color now mocking Kris. 

Ralsei tentatively approached the teenager, brushing the fluffy paw against their shoulder in a futile attempt to comfort them. He whispered, "I'm not sure where Queen is, but I think that she got someone to minister the funeral." 

Kris looked at them in confusion and sighed, "But I haven't seen any churches in Cyber World..?"

Ralsei shrugged, adjusting his blazer, colored a deep emerald green and nearly the same shade as his robes. It reached the end of his torso, blending into his pants, which poofed due to his fur, which was quite thick. His tie, which had several stitchings of buttercups on it, contrasted quite nicely, drawing attention to his face, barren from the usual mascara on his eyes. 

"I don't know if this guy is very religious, but I heard he was a pretty good salesman," he laughed, "Apparently, he got a call that changed his life, but then his sanity started to decline or something. I'm not sure about the specifics, and I don't think I want to learn more if you know what I mean."    

Kris nodded in agreement, slowly walking away from the coffin with tears in their eyes. Suddenly, Ralsei said, "I know this is a bad time to say this, but it's possible to b-" 

Before he could utter another word, a loud crash rang throughout the room. They both looked over to see a moving dumpster, one that Kris immediately recognized. 

It was where they had purchased the Thorn Ring. 

"At least we have a ride home," Susie cackled, emerging from the other side of the room, in awe of the dumpster's beauty. 

Kris cursed under their breath and said, "Do we have to stay?" 

In response, the entity inside the dumpster began to laugh, nearly knocking it over. It was a concerning sound as if it would start to intermingle with sobs at any moment. 

Susie thought it sounded like when she had tried to use her phone. 

The covering opened and a little man popped his disgusting head out, his hair nearly sticking to the walls of the dumpster. 

"HOLD ON YOU [Little Sponges], I HAVE TO PARK MY CAR," he said, then the dumpster toppled over, causing him to fall onto the floor right in front of Ralsei, who ran to Kris with tears in his eyes. 

"Who are you?" he screamed at him. 

"SPAMTON G[amer] SPAMTON," the monster, Spamton, responded, suddenly getting up and standing on top of the coffin, proud of his newfound height. 

"WHO IS GETTING MARRIED?" he said, doing a little jig, nearly toppling over and hitting his head. He jumped down, his shoes leaving his feet. 

When he got no response, he began to sing, " 'WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING,' SAYS A BRIDESMAID TO A WAITER! AND YES BUT WHAT A SHAME, WHAT A SHAME THE POOR GROOM'S BRIDE IS A [Hyperlink Blocked]!" 

Spamton ran to the altar, which was made of the same type of wood as Noelle's coffin, the sheer height of it enveloping his small frame. He gestured to it, waving his rat-like hands as if performing a show. 

"T...This isn't a wedding!" Ralsei protested, his cheeks turning rouge in embarrassment, staining the white fur, "Please have some respect."

"MIKE TAKE THE WHEEL!! LET ME PUT MY [Mourning Shoes] ON AND I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO GET SOME [Hot Singles Near You!]!"

"Please stop!" he begged the dubiously acclaimed minister, who only laughed in response, the sound grating on their ears. 

After a pause, Spamton toppled down the altar, which fell onto the ground without much protest. "Kris, it hurts," he begged, "please, it hurts so much. I can feel it eating at my bones, consuming me from the inside out. Soon, I'll be nothing more than a… skeleton. Make it stop! For the love of all things holy, put me out of my misery. I beg of you…"

"W-What?" the teenager asked him, jogging to where he lay, his posture rigid as if strings of the sort were keeping glued to the ground. Silently, tears began to fall from his eyes, dampening the painted wood. 

"It's so cold here, Kris. It's withering me away like a plucked flower. I want to be free, but I'm so scared of dying," he whispered, sounding as if he had been crying for thousands of years before, just now able to speak. He shook, nearly falling, and collapsed onto Kris, his head barely reaching their stomach. 

Faintly, Kris felt his tears freeze on their jacket, the droplets falling to the ground, nearly bouncing on the floor.

"S...Spamton..?" they called out his name, bringing a cyan hand to rest on his hair, which was slicked back with what they hoped to be hair gel. 

He refused to say any more.

"Spamton!" they shouted at him, pushing him away, watching in horror as his limp body crashed onto the ground. 

Suddenly, he spasmed, his mouth foaming a black liquid. He screamed. "FUCK YOU, BALTIMORE!!"

Ralsei ran to Kris, blocking their vision from the puppet, who jerked his head up, his heterochromatic eyes bulging out of their sockets. 

"I AM LITERALLY DYING! PLEASE SAVE ME BEFORE I [Join Her] IN [[Hyperlink Blocked]]!" he screamed in agony.

After a pause, he convulsed on the floor, repeatedly slamming his face onto the ground, sending woodchips flying into the air. Once he was finished, he passed out, unable to support the weight of his body anymore. 

The last thing he could muster was a weak calling of Kris' name, barely heard amongst the chaos.

All the teenager could see was an endless abyss of darkness as they blacked out, their head slamming against the ground with a sickening crack . 

Chapter Text

Queen was many things; she was an obvious leader and a caring authority figure, but she was not an idiot. Most of her surveys (conducted by herself) stated that she was quite intelligent, thank you very much.

But, despite it all, she couldn't shake the feeling that she had done something horribly wrong. 

That Seems To Be The Only Logical Thing , she thought to herself, That It Is In Fact My Fault That Noelle Died . 

She sighed, looking across her room in her own mansion, which was surprisingly bare. Fluorescent tiles shone a bright light onto walls, which were the same sterile color as the flooring. Inside, there was no furniture, aside from a blue charging center and a computer, both of which she rarely even used. 

Queen wished that her room had some life in it, for lack of a better term. But on some level, it felt like doing so would be an insult to the faithful peon she left behind. 

She paced the room, her heels gently clacking against the tiles. 

"I Do Not Think I Am Stupid," she said to herself, her voice quiet, "Noelle Did Not Truly Love Me" 

At that, her heart clenched, sending coolant through her circuits.

It was approximately 3:00 AM, and Queen was still awake, pacing in her room, her robotic body illuminated by the harsh glow of the computer. 

"If Only I Was Less Harsh," she whispered, wiping at her eyes, as if it was even possible for tears in spring in them, "Maybe Then Noelle Would Have Actually Loved Me And Not Just Tolerated Me"

She heard a quiet knock at the door.

"Is That Noelle," she asked herself, "Has She Come Back To Me" 

Although logically, she knew it was impossible, she couldn't fight a flare of hope arising in her heart, lighting up her mind. 

She paused where she stood, considering her options. Her light was on and her speech was far from quiet, so pretending to be asleep was probably not a good idea. 

"I Am Totally Sleeping… Z...Z...Z," she said, closing her eyes as if this mysterious person at the door could see her very convincing acting. 

Another knock rang throughout the room, this one more tentative than before, the cause likely preparing for yet another negative response. 

Queen’s lips curled into an awkward frown as she kept her eyes closed. 

After a pause, Berdly spoke, his voice soft, barely breaking the silence. 

"Queen?" he called out to her, muffled by the door. 

Oh Joy. 

She did a hilariously bad fake cough, the sound even more robotic than her usual voice. In reality, she could have just played some audio, but it felt more realistic to make one herself, however artificial it seemed. 

"Oh Berdly I Am Not Awake So You Can Leave Now," she said.  

Faintly, Queen heard him shuffle behind the door, imagining him bringing his cerulean wings to knock on it. 

"C-Can you let me in, please?" he asked, seeming to be even further away than before. 

She laughed, "No LMAO" 

Berdly sighed, the sound seeming to be quite pathetic, in her humble opinion. It was as if he had lost the will to fight, just blindly following the whims of others. 

"I can leave if you want. But I don't want to be alone now," he replied, nearly walking away. 

"No You Do Not Have To," she cut in, interrupting his moping. 

After a pause, she could only guess that he decided to stay. He whispered, "Oh, okay." 

The two sat, bound together in grief, for a long moment, marinating in their emotions, which seemed to pour from them in waves. 

Meanwhile, Queen pretended to file her nonexistent fingernails, pondering how to reach out and help the bluebird, who had stayed oddly silent for a while. All she wanted was to make a connection with him and break down the walls that she had once so enthusiastically built. 

Finally, she did the only thing she could do: she spoke to him. 

"You Can Come In,” she suggested, walking closer to the door. She gingerly put fingers around the icy handle, the coldness blending in with her metal hand. 

"I-I'm sorry," Berdly spat out the apology as if doing so burnt his tongue. To his shock, Queen only laughed in response, the sound ringing in his ears.  

"Do Not Be Sorry," she finally said, her voice oddly gentle. 

It made him feel like she was talking to an injured animal, attempting to coax it away from its home out of a futile sense of justice. 

"I-I'll just sit down for a moment,” he reluctantly said, not wanting to leave her company. 

Queen nodded, feeling like her peon could see her through the door. 

"You Are Not Okay," she observed, proud of herself for picking up on such a subtle cue. 

Berdly snorted, a cynical sound that felt wrong to hear from him. Since their first interactions, he has always presented himself as so excited and optimistic about the future, but now, he was only a broken shell of the monster he used to be. 

"Well, duh- I'm sorry," he spat out.

It was that sentence that finally broke Queen. Her peon, her friend, her confidant, had experienced miseries nearly unimaginable, and now he was apologizing for needing comfort, of all things! The thought filled her with pity. 

"You Do Not Have To Apologize,” she said, opening the door. When she did so, she was face-to-face with Berdly, who donned a pair of wrinkled pajamas, the dark fabric enveloping his lanky frame, making him blend into the dim hallway. His eyes, once full of light, now were red and dull, as if they refused had grown weary of the world around him.

"I just feel guilty. Like, if only it had been me that died instead of her, then you'd be…" he rambled, bringing a wing to rest against his forehead.  

The text on her screen changed to, THE TEA IS BEING SPILLED !! :0

"I Would Be What,” she said, nervous as to what he’d say next, although, on some level, she already knew. 

He looked away, deeply gazing at the rug, hoping that it would magically give him the right words to say. Finally, he spoke from the heart, "You'd be happier! There, I said it. Are you satisfied now?"

She shook her head, "Of Course Not"

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Sure. You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” 

She took a step closer, bringing her arms to wrap around the bluebird in a tight embrace. He melted into it, collapsing against her with a heavy sigh. 

Queen squeezed him, careful not to hurt Berdly, who was shaking where he no. Gently, she rocked him like she was trying to coerce him to sleep and said, “No I Am Glad You Are Here With Me Although It Pains Me That Noelle Had Died”

He sobbed against her chest, the floodgates finally breaking three days after Noelle had died. "Well, that's what hurts so much. That, and the fact that I know you probably wish it was me instead, just kills me inside. And the worst part is that I think I wish that, as well," he bawled.  

She stroked the feathers on his head in an attempt to comfort him and whispered, "Truthfully I Would Prefer If Neither Of You Died”

He didn’t respond for a while, too busy trying to cease crying, which was in vain. Finally, he accepted his overwhelming sadness, allowing it to burrow inside of his heart. 

"You don't have to lie to me," he whispered, his voice cracking on the last syllable.  

She cut in, “I Am Not You Also Have Value And Importance As A Faithful Peon It Is Good That You Are Here" 

He nodded against her, not believing her words, but too exhausted to refute them. Finally, he pulled away, looking to the door and murmuring, “I should get going.” 

She sat down on the floor, reflecting the light of the glowing tiles on her robotic body, it shining onto Berdly, nearly blinding him. “You Can Stay Here If You Would Prefer I Lack Blankets I Can Retrieve Some From Your Room,” she suggested, patting to the ground, pretending to tuck him into bed. 

“Are you sure?” Berdly asked, looking to the tiles reveling in its gentle brightness beaming onto his face, awakening him from his slumber.

Queen shrugged, “Why Not” 

“I can leave if you’d like,” he said, not wanting to invade her privacy.  

She shook her head, beginning to walk to the hallway and into his room, ready to retrieve his blanket so he could sleep on the floor while she charged. She brought her hand to rest on the door, her thoughts lingering on the girl that had once stayed in a room not so far away from her own. 

“No You Can Stay Now Where Is Your Room,” she inquired, watching as he scrambled to show her the way, enthusiastic to show her the Minecraft blankets and the PC that were in it. 

Chapter Text

Berdly tossed under the warm covers, pulling them down under his beak. He twisted, wincing as the light of the room hit his eyes. Looking at his watch, he saw that barely half an hour had passed since he had begun to sleep. 

He jerked his head to look at Queen, who was charging in the far right corner of the room, the writing on her face now: ZZZZ…

It's weird to see her sleep , he thought to himself, bringing a wing to wipe at his eyes, cringing when he noticed a small crust had formed on the edge. He got up, wrapping his blanket around his body, and shuffled to Queen, who was unable to notice him due to her near-catatonic state when charging. 

Although she could use batteries, she had told him that she wanted for a "Totally Authentic Sleepover" to occur, so it would be fitting for her to pretend to sleep. 

He brought a wing to gently rouse her and whispered, "Queen?" 

She shook, her head nearly screwing off her neck. Bringing a hand to adjust herself, she turned to face Berdly and let out an audible sigh. 

"I Am Listening" she said with no emotion in her tone. 

"C-Can you tell me a bedtime story? Or like a bedtime equation?" he asked, blushing at the idea, but also too tired to care if it seemed childish. 

She let out her signature laugh and repeated, "A Bedtime Equation"

He gasped at her faux ridicule, bringing a wing over his heart in shock. After a pause, he replied, "You can stick with the story if you want." 

She nodded at his response and her eyes turned to say: THINKING... 

"Well Okay Let Me Get Out A Storybook Or I Can Tell You About My Divorce" she finally said, lighting up at the prospect of talking about her previous marriage. 

"Storybook please!" he begged, shaking his head. 

She pretended to roll her eyes, only succeeding in making a random head gesture. 

"Well Fine I Guess You Can Hear About My Horrible Ex-Husband Another Time" she sighed, flicking her wrist at him in a display of sassiness. 

"My IQ is too high to hear about him," he reported, bringing his beak up in a futile attempt to seem smarter.

She giggled, "Yes Completely Now We Must Get This Storybook" 

The two walked the hall together, Berdly carrying his Minecraft blanket close behind. Once they reached the lobby, Queen grabbed a book at random and sat on the carpet floor, patting a space next to her for Berdly to sit at. 

She began to read, her voice oddly soft as she began. 

"A-Are you sure about this?" she asked the man, who stood elevated from others. Once a pristine white, his lab coat was now stained with splotches of a crimson liquid, dripping onto the ground in small beads, making its way into every crevice. 

The man nodded, staring at the scorching gas that seemed to consume him, the glowing light crawling up onto the tiles, threatening to swallow their feet up. 

He looked to her companion, who kept their head down out of reverence or fear, most likely the latter. Their gray complexion, lacking any color, seemed to help them blend into the dull atmosphere. 

Taking a step forward, he took in his surroundings. The three stood on a raised platform made of a sleek metal, the material reflecting the artificially strong brightness under them. It was a void, of sorts. Paradoxically, it was made of both everything and nothing, a million paces down, but also only five. Its pure whiteness seemed to outshine everything else, making it seem like a pathetic attempt to imitate its depth. 

He briefly considered dropping his lab coat into it, wondering if it would even fall. Without thinking, he took it off, exposing his black turtleneck to the glaring heat. He looked at the two, his eyes blankly staring at them as he let go, watching in awe as some imaginary wind picked it up, causing a blue pen to fall out of its pocket and onto the ground. Walking closer, the toes of his shoes now on the edge of the balcony, he bent down to pick up the pen. 

Silently, he challenged them to gather the courage to push him.

When neither did so, he let out a cynical laugh. Gesturing for the woman to come closer, he slung an arm around her shoulder, watching in amusement as she nearly fell. 

"Dark, darker, yet even darker," he rasped, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He swung with her, bonking their heads together with a giggle. 

He jerked his head to look at her, his eyes wide. 

At that moment, the woman wondered if he had finally lost his grip on sanity and would plunge the two into the void. 

To her surprise, he stepped back with her, grabbing her friend in his arms and melodramatically squeezing their arm. 

"The darkness," he continued, "keeps growing." 

By now, his voice sounded as if he had been swallowing glass. 

He coughed in pain, letting go of her companion, watching in delight as they nearly toppled onto the floor. They huffed in frustration, crossing their arms and looking at him in an odd burst of defiance. 

"Shadows," he gestured downwards to the light, "cutting deeper." It had not risen since they first began to speak, but it would soon enough. 

He looked at his pen in deep concentration, swinging around the air with a woosh. After indulging in his eccentrics, he said, "Photon readings negative," with a great deal of seriousness.  

He began to balance on one foot, wobbling as he swayed to an imaginary tune. He paused in his endeavors, then began to hum, a low and droning sound. 

Though near silence at first, his song crescendoed into the chorus, slow and mournful. He danced to the beat, still precariously near the void. 

It felt as if he was performing his own funeral dirge. 

Now on the verge of finishing it, he brought his foot down to slam on the balcony, smiling in satisfaction as it trembled under the force. 

The pillars shook, nearly causing them all to fall. 

Finally onto the last verse, he looked down with tears in his large eyes. He tried to blink them out, then began to cackle at them, the sound grating on their ears. 

They both looked at him in mute horror.  

He continued his humming, only becoming more frantic and desperate for it to end, the air barely escaping his lungs before it was pulled back down to resume his song. 

His laughter became a series of distraught sobs.  

"This next experiment," he whispered, his voice echoing throughout the core, "seems very, very interesting." 

He jumped. 

Chapter Text

A glowing light invaded Kris' vision, making their head dizzy with its brightness. It came from a little white star, floating on thin it. Under it, the carpet of Queen's mansion seemed to absorb its light, making it seem as if it would disappear at any moment, nearly unnoticed and unknown. 

It was the light only they could see. 

Stumbling towards it, they felt its warmth seep into their skin, gently covering them in its heat. 

This is it , they thought, I can finally fix this!

They collapsed on top of it, only to fall onto the floor. 

Jerking themselves up, they briefly grasped it in their hands. A small smile crept onto their face, their features finally free from worry. 

"Noelle," they called out to her, "I'm sorry for all this. I'm sorry you had to die. But I will make it all better. I promise you." 

Vaguely, they felt a wave of embarrassment course through them for talking to someone who wasn't there, but they shot it down and closed their eyes. 

"Thank God," they whispered, "I'll save you all." 

They concentrated their effort on going back to the start, waking up in their room and hearing Toriel call out for them. 

Opening their eyes, they saw that they were still in the mansion. 

"Shit," they swore, taking a step back and looking around, eyes wide as saucers. Rubbing their hand on their forehead, they thought back to every time their world had been ripped away from them, only to end up right where they started. 

"Please work," they said, attempting back to the light, their feet glued to the carpet. They looked forward, desperately reaching out to the save point. 

It mockingly shone a few feet away. 

"Let me go," they said, their voice barely escaping their throat as tears began to spring in their eyes. Their vision now blurred, the brightness seemed to consume them where they stood. 

They begged, "I said, let me go!" 

Pausing, Kris squeezed their eyes shut, trying to suppress any tears that may flow. Finally, they opened them with a gasp, as if they had been drowning.

With a sigh, they whispered, "J-Just, I want to live my life with my friends. They don't deserve this! So tell me, why won't you let us be free after you have hurt us this much? Ralsei, Susie, Berdly, Noelle-"

A hoarse sob interrupted their speech, ringing in their ears. They brought a trembling hand over their mouth, trying, in vain, to suppress the noise. Their breath warmed their palms, creating a small bundle of heat. 

"Noelle never should have died. You and I both know this. So please, make things right and stop the world from sinking in under my feet.  You have the power to fix this mess," they accused, their tone full of deep-seated hatred. 

Kris waited for an answer, their mind beginning to wander. 

It was ironic, how despite everything "The Player" had done, and how much pain they had caused, they couldn't bring themself to hate their controller more than themself, for letting it all happen. 

Could they have been stronger? Could they have saved their friends? Or was it all just the illusion of choice, a cruel game puppeteered by someone stronger than they could ever perceive? 

"Do you know what will happen if we don't reset after such a big change?" they asked their voice, like a knife, cutting through the silence. 

Kris bit their lip, their teeth digging into the sensitive flesh, nearly causing blood to spurt from the pressure. They opened their mouth and said,  "I'll tell you my theory anyway."

They began to saunter around, creating an illusion of confidence, each step slow and deliberate. Their boots seemed to sink into the rug, then fly out, as if being dunked in water. 

"This universe we live in will start to fall apart since all this is so off track. Things will go astray and before you know it, nothing will ever be the same," they thought aloud, their voice small and unsteady, betraying their true emotions. 

They sank to their ground, their knees slamming against the rug, causing pain to shoot up their legs. Hands covering their face, they uttered,  "I'm saying that everyone may die if this continues! Me a-and you, and all of my friends- we could be gone. Permanently!" 

Are they really my friends? Kris thought, Or are they as trapped as I am? 

The answer seemed obvious enough.

"So tell me, why do you keep on tormenting me like this? I know we have gone on this similar path before, but never has Noelle been the one to die," they said this like a prayer. 

Never had the girl left their side in such a cruel way. Never had she suffered so much in one run, constantly reminded of every mistake- everyone she had lost- each memory, once cherished, now a memorial to the happiness she would never feel again. 

At that moment, it felt as if their best friend would never feel the weight of the sun shining on their face like she was doomed to stay in this timeline, which was cruel enough to give her a death sentence. 

The thought filled Kris with dread. 

"Just let me move on from this part of the story! Why haven't you gotten bored with me yet?"

It felt odd to pray to a god who simply did not care, yet they persisted. 

"No response?" they asked the rhetorical question as if doing so would warrant an answer, their voice dripping with venom, "I'm not surprised. You've never seemed like a talker, not that I can judge you for that. But you actually do something and don't just watch me like a caged animal. Those people scare me, to be honest. At least you're upfront about wanting me to suffer." 

At that, they let out a cynical laugh, the action foreign. 

"Is that what you want to do?" they screamed, "Is this the only purpose in your miserable existence? To cause me pain, to hurt me to the point where I lose myself?"

Their voice crescendoed, filling the hallway with their woes, each word echoing against the walls. 

It seemed as if a million years had passed before they continued, whispering, "Will you ever be satisfied?"
They sounded too exhausted to fight back, hardly able to even speak, the words pained as they left their mouth.
"I don't know why I'm asking you this," they dryly laughed, "It's not like you care enough to answer anything. It's not like you give a damn about what I think or do." 

At that, they rolled their eyes, feeling like a rebellious teenager disrespecting their parents and slamming the door to their face. 

In all honesty, it was a pretty funny thought, a perversion of their life at home.

They waited for a response yet again, their heart clenching when one minute passed- then another, then yet another.  

With each second that went by like molasses, it felt more and more like a lost cause, a pathetic attempt at reaching somebody who simply did not care. 

After what felt like a decade, a thought crossed their mind, I'm sorry . 

It was definitely not theirs, but it belonged to whomever- or whatever- was pulling on their strings.  

It filled them with fear, flowing, like ice water, into their heart. 

Was their mind not even a safe haven? Would every part of them be invaded and destroyed? 

Would they ever be free? 

The answer, at that moment, seemed to be a resounding no. It felt useless for Kris to fight back, as everything in this world told them that their choice simply didn't matter. 

"Fuck your apologies!" Kris shouted, "If you really are sorry, then bring Noelle back."

It was impossible to tell if they were threatening or begging.

They said, "Do it!"  

Their voice cracked on the last syllable, sounding like a broken record mindlessly repeating a phrase. 

"That's what I thought."  

Their knife gleamed from under the many layers of armor and they slowly brought it out. 

The handle was colored a leathery black, nearly as reflective as the blade. Slender and firm, it was quite easy for Kris to clench in their hand, turning their knuckles white. The blade itself, a light shade of silver, was sharpened to a fine point. 

Pressing it against their throat, feeling it dig against their skin, they said, "I've always thought that I would be scared to die when the time came. I imagined I'd beg for a second chance, more time to live. But now, I'm just relieved to take you down with me." 

They could feel the universe shift at their threat. 

"Y-You can't hurt me anymore!" they exclaimed, silently accusing them to try and see what would happen. 

They pushed it in deeper, causing a small cut to form, blood slowly tainting the pure silver, small beads dripping down the blade. 

Despite it all, Kris refused to cry, though their voice was tremored, the sound hardly noticeable among the enmity that filled their tone. 

 "I hope we both rot in hell," Kris spat out, now prepared to finish what they started. 

It seemed like fitting last words.