Chapter Text
“Papa, ‘m tired.” Amelia pouts from the backseat. Her cheeks are flustered, wispy strands of dark hair sticking to them as her tiny lips poke themselves out and tremble threatening another fit. She hates waking up early and Eren is fully aware of that, but it couldn’t be helped. The kids had to be with him today.
“I know baby, just hang in there okay?” He pleads, looking at her in the rear view mirror. The four of them have been parked in a sparsely empty parking lot for a little under ten minutes now, listening to the quiet hum of the truck engine under the godforsaken kids music looping on the radio that was supposed to be keeping them preoccupied.
“Noooo, I’m sleepy nowww.” The warble in her little voice was the last thing he heard before the tears and wailing started.
“Quiet!” Oliver exclaimed to her from the backseat!
“Oliver, don't yell at your sister.” Eren reprimanded, rubbing his temples to relieve the pressure there. He was already extremely anxious and nervous about today, and he didn’t really want the kids to be in a bad mood.
“You shaddup!” Lia screams back.
“You!”
“Papa, I’m hungey.” Fiona chimes in in an exasperated tone. From the mirror Eren witnesses Lia smack Oliver in the head and in retaliation he smacks her back. Maybe if he had told them the importance of today they would be faring better? But he wanted it to be a surprise. However he has come to realize they hate surprises so he doesn’t know what he had his hopes up for.
“Amelia and Oliver, keep your hands to yourself and apologize. We don’t hit each other, that’s not nice. Fifi, we’re gonna eat as soon as we get home.”
“When will we be home?”
“‘M not sayin’ sorry.” Amelia mumbles, huffing and puffing in her car seat.
“Yes, you will. Both of you.” He retorts matter of factly.
“Sorry Lia.” Oliver mutters in a less than convincing fashion.
“No!” The little girl screams back.
“Do I need to come back there?” He questions, turning over his shoulder. Amelia responds by letting out a shrill scream and kicks the back of the seat angrily. The male sighs, rubbing his eye with the heel of his hand. “Lia, sh sh sh. Please just breathe, it’s okay.” He coos, opting for a different approach. “We’re gonna leave soon, I promise, you wanna wait outside with me? Get some fresh air?”
“When?” Fiona asks, repeating her earlier question.
“We’re waiting for someone, Fifi.” He tells her, “Give me just a few more minutes okay?” He pleads, popping his door open. Eren steps out of the front seat and makes his way to the back, opening their door. He undoes the harness on Lia and picks her up from her car seat, holding her on his left side as she hiccups repeatedly. “You’re okay pretty girl, don’t cry.” He murmurs soothingly, wiping her face and placing a small kiss on her chubby little cheek. “Why are you crying, Lia?” He questions resting his head against her smaller one.
“‘M tired.” She whines again, exhaling a shaky breath.
“I know you are, but we can’t just cry and throw fits whenever we get tired. And we can’t hit people just because we’re tired.” The toddler groans and whimpers noncommittally to his words and merely decides to wrap her small arms around his neck as he holds her. With his right hand he smooths Oliver’s hair and playfully pinches his cheek. “You guys gonna be okay?” He asks the other two who both nod in response. “I’m gonna shut the door, sissy and I will be outside.” Shutting their door, he also rolled down the windows before carrying Lia with him to lean against the hood of the truck.
“You feeling better, littles?” He murmurs, patting her back gently. “Daddy’s sorry for getting frustrated with you. You forgive me?”
Amelia nods against him, her hiccups subsiding as her breathing evens out. “Good, can you say you’re sorry to Ollie when we get home? He said sorry to you.”
“Mhmmm.” She hums in agreement.
“Thank you, I knew you were a nice girl.” He smiles, planting a small kiss atop her head. He hugs the little girl tightly as he turns his attention to the front entrance of the building they’re parked outside of. The rehab center that Annie has been living in for the past few months. Today is her release day. He’s been counting down the days and anticipating the moment she would walk through those doors and that day has come, now he just needs the moment to hit.
The front doors of the facility had advertising posters on them and they were big enough to hide the figures behind them. Every time the door opened he found himself holding his breath in anticipation and exhaling sadly when it was always revealed to be someone else. Briefly his eyes flicked down to the watch on his wrist and the time ticked away. It had only been about 15 minutes since they got there and technically he was ten minutes early, but who could blame him? He really wanted to see his wife.
His gaze returned to the front door as another dark outline approached the door. He couldn’t see who this was either but he knew it wasn’t Annie because the outline was much too tall. The door opened and out came a tall slender man with a shiny bald head, a bag slung on his back and what were likely release papers in one hand. Eren sighed as the man slowly exited through the doors before stopping briefly to hold the door open for someone that had been walking behind him.
His heart skipped a beat as the familiar short stack of blonde walked through the door behind the man, her head turning slightly to thank him for the kind gesture before looking ahead of her again. As their eyes locked, Annie froze in her spot, jaw slightly agape.
Months ago he was on the verge of getting a divorce, possibly losing custody of his kids, and inevitably burying his wife and for some reason God was giving him yet another chance. He has to be the luckiest dumbass on earth and he’ll be forever grateful for all the luck he’s had.
“Lia,” he called out in a strangled voice. Eren pushed himself off the hood, shrugging Lia in his arm, “look, look who that is.” He beckoned her, pointing in Annie’s direction. The small brunette girl sighed in her father’s arm, turning her head to look in the same direction. “You see who that is?”
“Mama? Mommy!!” She shrieked! A wide smile broke out across Annie’s face as her daughter squealed and reached excitedly for her. Tears spilled over her eyes as she ran to them, arms outstretched and eager. Eren didn’t even feel himself move, he just seemed to float to her, happily, emotionally, merrily.
The moment she was in his arms again was the moment his reserves cracked and his tears flooded down his cheek. He was crying, she was crying, Lia was crying. If the other two knew what was happening, they’d probably be crying too.
“Mommy!!” “My baby, my babies!” “I missed you so much, sweets!” In the midst of their reunion he surrender Amelia into Annie’s arms and he pulled her in closely, snugly. One of her arms wrapped itself around his neck and he felt her press chaste kisses along his jaw and his neck. “I love you so much.” She cried. “I love you too.” He sniffles. Lucky, he’s so lucky. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
“Later.” Annie exhales, sniffling as well. She pulls back enough to see his face and offers him a warm smile he hasn’t seen for far too long. “We have all the time in the world together. Now, let’s get back to the truck before people judge us for leaving the kids in there, yeah?” She chuckles, adjusting Lia in her arm.
He chuckles back, thankfully there is no one else out here and the kids are indeed fine and they’re just as excited to see her again as Lia was, Oliver practically leapt out of his seat to get to her. He definitely missed her the most and Eren has always had a sneaky suspicion that some of his development slowed down because Annie wasn’t there, but he’s not gonna tell her that. She’s back now, there’s still time. Like she said they have all the time in the world together.
Annie was elated to be back home. She and Eren had made a pallet on the living room floor so they could lay with the kids and the pets. The house was full of joy and glee. The laughter, the squeals of excitement, the happy barks and loud purrs. She had thought coming back home was going to be hard, she thought it would take her time to settle back in and get comfortable, but it felt so natural.
She was also nervous that maybe she wasn’t the one that would be able to get comfortable. The kids could’ve been uncomfortable, they could’ve been angry that she left them, but they didn’t even seem to care anymore. They all had so much to say and show her. They were walking, without her, practically jogging back and forth across the living room to show her all their new toys and the crafts they made. All three of them had a story to tell her in their own little mixtures of gibberish and slurred words.
Every so often she’ll glance at Eren, with this back resting against the edge of the couch and every time she looked, he was staring directly at her with the softest eyes.
“I drew the birds.” Oliver explained, his cheek pressed against hers as they both admired a drawing he had done with Fiona at some point. “And the skirls.”
“You did such a good job, honey.” She cooed to him. “Fi, what did you draw, sweetie?”
“The cows.” She replied, pointing to the black and white circles and squares
“Ohh those are such good cows!” She giggles. “Where’s your drawings Lia?”
“I- I don’t like to draw on the papers.” The girl said, shaking her head.
“Lia colors on papa.” Fiona added.
“Whaaat?”
“Lia decided she wanted tattoos so she was drawing on herself so I told her she could color in some of my tattoos.”
Annie gasps playfully at Lia. “Liiaaa, do you wanna be a tattoo artist?”
“Mhmm.”
“Aww,” the blonde coos, peppering her daughter's face with kisses, “when you get old enough and go to tattoo school and graduate from tattoo school, you can give mommy a new tattoo.”
“Yayyy!!!” Amelia cheers. Oliver moves to lay down with his head in Annie’s lap.
“Mama, where were you?” He mumbles softly, staring up at her with glassy green orbs.
Annie sighs softly and scratches her head. She’s thought a lot about what she would say if and when the kids asked and she chose to simply be honest with them. An age appropriate bit of honesty of course, but honesty nonetheless. Most people say that children aren’t really conscious at this age, but Annie thinks her kids are pretty smart and the odds of all three of them aging out of this memory are not so great so she doesn’t want to avoid the topic and have one of them growing up resentful and traumatized remembering that time their mother just up and vanished on them.
“Come here,” she summons the girls, cradling them against her sides so she had all three of them with her. “I owe you guys an apology for leaving the way that I did. I know you guys were probably really confused and sad and I am so so sorry for that. And if any of you remember this when you’re older, I want you to also remember that I didn’t leave because of you, I left for you. Because,” Annie sniffles, wiping her eyes quickly before the tears can spill over, “because mommy was sick and I couldn’t be the mommy I wanted to be or the best mommy for you.”
“You are the best mommy!” Oliver exclaims, hugging her thigh, pulling at her heart strings.
“Do you feel not sick now mommy?” Fiona wonders, staring at her mother with wide green eyes.
Annie releases a shaky breath, “I feel better.” She answers confidently. “Mommy has a very hard and difficult road ahead of her, but you guys make meeting the end of that road so incredibly worth it.”
“I love you mommy!” “I love her more!” “No! I love her more!”
“I love you all so so sooooo much!”
The last time she and Eren turned in together to sleep was the same night that he confessed about Rico. A catalyst that took them damn near completely off the rails and nearly destroyed their entire marriage. She had been so dead set on leaving him, taking the kids, and just fairing for herself because obviously she couldn’t trust others. And now they’re lying on their sides, snuggled under familiar blankets staring quietly at each other Annie gingerly caresses his face.
He is the farthest thing from perfect and even when things get rough, he may distance himself but he has yet to actually give up. She’s incredibly used to being given up on and she’s given him plenty of opportunities to give up on her and he hasn’t. To her, that means something. Even still…
“Do you understand, Eren?” This is her last time being the forgiver. She is by no means perfect herself and he’s forgiven her for a lot as well, but these are very big feats they’re forgiving each other for and at a certain point, you have to put an end to it for the betterment of everyone. They could both love each other to the end of their time, but sometimes that doesn’t mean you work together. So this is their last time, their last chance.
“I understand.” He exhaled, swiping his tongue over his lips quickly. “I’m going to fight for you Annie, for us. We haven’t been on the same page in nearly two years and I know we’re better than that.”
“I believe that too, which is why I came back. I missed you.”
“I missed you too…but I’m glad you did it. I am so proud of you, sweets.”
Annie smiles at him, brushing a strand of loose hair behind his ear. “I’m proud of myself too. I did something really cool while I was there. I took some martial arts classes, Muay Thai. My counselor said that I was using drugs and alcohol as a way to protect myself from pain or whatever because if I’m high or drunk I can’t feel anything so I needed to replace my weapon of choice with something healthier. If nobody can whoop my ass anymore I can’t feel pain right?”
“Ohhhhh really?” He grins, “sounds like we need to have a rematch, make sure you actually learned something.”
“I’m not worried about you,” she chuckles, “I learned a lot of leg sweeping techniques and you’ve only got one good one, I need a real challenge to test myself with.”
The brunette slowly removed her hand from his face and sat upright with a look of utter disbelief and appallment on his features. “Woah woah woah, you think I’m a joke?”
It was so hard not to burst out in laughter, “I mean… if the leg fits.”
“Meet me in the middle of the floor.” He declares tossing his share of the covers off his lower half. “Get up,”
Annie tosses her own covers off, smirk on her face, “alright, I’m not scared to fight a cripple. Go get your leg.”
“Go get your leg.” He mocks, getting the leg. Annie heads to the middle of their bedroom floor and prepares by stretching her quads and loosening her arms. This is exciting..and fun. It’s again not anything like she pictured for her first day back home.
“As always, no hitting below the belt.” He says as he steps into the middle of the room with her, rolling his neck around.
“Yeah yeah whatever, don’t wake my babies with your tears.”
“Ya know, cockiness is usually the number one dow- ugh!” Her coach taught her that if possible, it’s best to subdue your opponent quickly, give yourself an opportunity to escape. She doesn’t need to escape anything in this situation but she wants to make sure she has and maintains the upper hand, so while he’s chastising her about being cocky, she takes advantage of his many openings and goes right for his middle, hooking her left foot around his ankle to knock him off balance and taking him down. He hit the floor with a thud and Annie was quick to lock arms around his neck and squeeze down on his windpipe.
He wheezed, mainly out of shock because she wasn’t squeezing hard enough to actually hurt him…at least she didn’t feel like she was. “Jesus Annie.” He choked out. “You…didn’t even warn me.”
“You were warned,” she replies, unrelenting in her efforts to get him to tap out. “Quit and I’ll let go.”
“…fuck you.” He’s a foot taller than her and heavier than her so when he starts making a real effort to free himself she has no choice but to bare down on his throat. He’s a champion soldier so obviously she expects him to be able to break free eventually. He rolls over onto his stomach and she figures he's going to try and crawl out of her hold. She could clench onto his back but instead she decides to let go and put some distance between them.
Poised on her knees with her hands up and ready to go at him again, she hums teasingly. “If you know what’s good for you Mr. Jaeger, you’ll back down before I really have to hurt you.”
“Pfft, and as Mrs. Jaeger, you should know I never back down even if there’s a million clear signs that I should.” He swipes at her and she narrowly avoids the grab. “You got me that first time, I’ll give you that, it won’t happen again.”
“Well come on then.” She goads and boy did he charge. A long, slender arm shot out at her, quickly wrapping itself around her neck and his weight pushed her down to her stomach. She was quick to recover, lifting herself to child's pose and then up on her knees just enough to elbow him in his ribs, once, twice, the moment he slacked she reacted quickly, twisting her upper body to push him back down, getting into a full mount and securing him into a headlock.
Annie put her everything into those martial arts classes and her coach always praised her for being strong and sturdy. He said she was a fast learner, she was quick, her leg strength was amazing and she had great stamina. She had plenty of sparring sessions at the facility and usually it took her longer to get out of breath and winded. It wasn’t because Eren was stronger than her classmates and it wasn’t because she was trying twice as hard, if anything she was becoming overwhelmed with the eroticism of it all.
She missed Eren and she loved him and now she had a new love, a love for martial arts and she considers herself incredibly lucky that she had a partner that was willing to participate with her. Her gratitude, her longing to be home, the pride she felt in herself, and the feeling of being pressed up against him in a victory position at that, made her feel incredible. And if the bulge in his sweats was an indicator then she knew Eren felt the same.
Annie released her headlock in favor of hurriedly pressing her lips against his and his body relaxed underneath her, strong, warm hands finding their place on her hips. “I missed you.” She whispers breathlessly between kisses.
“I missed you too.” He reassures her. “I’m so proud of you, sweets. I love you.” Annie broke their kiss, leaning up and pulling her t-shirt over her head as Wren eagerly worked to pull down her shorts and panties.
She expected her home to be cold. What if they had changed? What if they thought she changed too much? Clearly that wasn’t the case.
Eren lifted enough for Annie to slip his pants and boxers down mid thigh. The shirt he was wearing torn down the middle to expose his torso to her. she rubbed herself along his length, coating him in her slick, beads of precum smearing her folds. Eren groaned softly, holding himself at the base as Annie lined her opening with his head. She sank down on him, slowly, her mouth going slack and soft moans filling the air between them. Annie leans back ever so slightly, bracing her hands on his thighs and she lifts her hips up slowly and sinks back down again. She missed the stretch, the full feeling of having him inside her, the warmth of his length gliding against her walls. Her pussy quivered around him as she bounced up and down falling into a rhythmic pattern on top of him.
He pants, his thigh muscles and stomach tightening as he fought off a premature orgasm. “Annie.” He exhaled, fingers squeezing into her sides. “Y-yeah, ahh, perfect. You are so..perfect.”
“Tell me more.” She panted, hissing through gritted teeth.
“Tell you anything girl.” He grunted, bucking his hips into her. “Precious, beautiful, amazing. I- sssshit, I’ll never ever…love anyone like I love you.”
Annie tightened around him, a wanton moan escaping her. She let herself lean over him, hands pressed flat on either side of his head as she rocked her hips back against him, meeting sharp, deep strokes. His mouth latched onto a nipple, tongue swirling around her bud, sucking lively as Annie’s eyes glazed over.
He frees her nipple, kissing her breasts, his left hand gliding up her spine while his right index finger teases her asshole. “I love you Annie Jaeger.” He repeats to her.
“Er- Eren.” She whimpers, her back arching at the introduction of a single long digit inserting itself. She locks lips with him again, tongues twisting, teeth clashing, lip biting, a breath stealing kiss. There’s a knot forming quickly in her stomach, getting tighter and tighter, as she teeters along the edge of release. “Cum with me.” She beckons him, her hips rocking faster, her pants heavier, chest rising and falling deeply.
“I’m cumming baby,” Eren whines, fisting her hair and burying his face in the side of her neck. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes and Annie’s breath caught in her throat as Eren pounded away, rubbing against her cervix and pushing her over the edge. She felt hot spurts of his cum flood her canal making her toes curl. Her eyes fluttered as she ground mindlessly against him. “Fuck, yes, yes Annie, yeah. Every drop, take it all for me.” His lips pressed kisses against her shoulder, up the side of her neck and along her jaw. “You always do so good for me.” His movements slowly come to a halt and he removes his finger from her ass before he rolls them over so she’s on her stomach.
He palms her cheeks, squeezing and spreading her open, he uses two fingers to glide along her swollen lips, coating them in their juices and rubbing her ass gingerly before finally pushing two fingers in. Annie hummed in pleasure as she drifted back down from the high of her orgasm. “You want me to fill your tight little asshole?”
“Yes.” She answered almost immediately.
Eren’s fingers spread, scissoring her hole open. “You sound desperate. You need me that badly, sweets?”
“I want it, I need you so bad, baby.” She lifts her ass, pushing back against him and he chuckles hotly.
“Relax,” he coos, a firm hand pressing her back against the ground to which she wines. Eren hovers over her, pressing his head against her entrance and Annie waits with bated breath for him to finally enter her. “So eager, so restless. Is this what you want?” Inch by inch, he fits himself inside her like two perfectly fitting puzzle pieces. “Huh?” He questions, pulling back out slowly and slamming his hips against her. Annie gasps loudly, her nails scraping the floor. “I asked you a question.”
“Yes! Yes, ohhhh this is what I want.”
“Just like this?” He questions, rolling his hips against her agonizingly slow. It felt so good. “Or faster?” The pace change was fast, his hips thrusting with more purpose. “Hmm?”
Annie’s eyes screwed shut, “g-ood, it’s good!”
“Slower was good?” He questioned with a hint of amusement in his voice, slowing his hips down again.
“No, faster, fuck!”
“That’s all you had to say, sweetie.” He wraps a hand around her throat, lifting her head to kiss her lips as he finally stops teasing her and lets go falling into a mind numbing pace.
Annie feels a stream of drool spilling down her chin but she can’t be bothered with it, can barely lift her hand to wipe nor does she care to. Her ears are hot and her hearing feels muffled, she’s barely able to hear anything over the sound of Eren whimpering in her ear and his heavy balls smacking her ass with each thrust. When she feels Eren’s hand move under her to frantically rub circles against her clit her eyes roll back and she feels another knot forming in her stomach and it pulls tighter and tighter and tighter until it snaps and she feels a pool of wetness beneath her, coating her inner thighs as he keeps rubbing and thrusting and panting. Her body jerks under him as she cums a third time and Eren groans loudly above her, hips stuttering as he cums himself, spilling his seed in her ass.
He rests there, panting on top of her and too exhausted to move. Her eyes are blurry and her head feels light, she can feel sleep taking over. “Go to sleep,” Eren murmurs against her shoulder, “I’ll take care of you, I’ll take care of everything. I love you.”
It’s been a week since Annie returned home and everything feels amazing. She’s fallen right back into place as a mother, a wife, and a friend. On her third day home she went to visit Hitch and Reiner. Hitch, who looked ready to pop, was so elated to see her friend after so long and Reiner had so many questions for her. How was it, how is she, how does she feel, is she healed?
Eren had told her all about Reiner’s recent struggles and Annie felt for her friend. When she saw him she wanted to be able to say something that would truly help him overcome his struggles so she told him what her counselor told her. “Worrying is like praying for the bad things you don’t want. All the time we waste worrying about things that haven’t happened is time we can’t get back and we never know when our time is up so we must spend what time we have enjoying our lives or we spend an eternity with regrets.”
When she was first told this, she rolled her eyes, thought it was stupid and left group. But then she thought on it. If people could manifest good things for themselves then who’s to say they can’t also manifest bad things by constantly worrying? She knows at some point worries will come up but that doesn’t mean she has to make herself ill over them and neither did Reiner. She hoped he took the words to heart.
Lush was still running and while Annie was in no hurry to go back to work, she was looking forward to going back eventually and she wanted to contribute a different skill set to the dance school. “I will always support dancers,” she tells Hitch over lunch on their first outing since her return. “But I don’t want to dance anymore, I want to train them to be fighters. No matter what, being an exotic dancer will always be a risky job, how many times have we been out at night and got followed? Or how many times did we go to the Underground and wish we could’ve protected ourselves better? Weapons are great, but they’re also forgotten, you know what they can’t forget? Their hands and feet.”
“You know you don’t have to sell me on this right? I fucking love that idea.” The short haired woman says, shoveling a few French fries into her mouth. “And it’s another revenue line for the business, since it’s your idea you can price it and take…hmmm, sixty percent, the other forty will be needed for the business expenses of course.”
“Deal.” Annie nods with a smile on her face. “You think a lot of people will sign up?”
“Of course! With my marketing know-how and your skills, this will be a guaranteed hit.”
Annie smiles down at her tacos. “Thanks Hitch.”
“No,” Hitch shook her head, bringing the straw in her water to her lips and taking a big gulp, “thank you. You do I’m gonna have to go on leave soon right? The parasite is finally big enough to come out so I’m making an appointment to be induced and I refuse to be refused.”
“We’re still calling the baby a parasite huh?”
“Yeah,” Hitch nods, “but don’t worry, it’s my little parasite. If Perry wasn’t such an ugly loser name I would name him Perry as a little inside joke, but Reiner said that may lead to emotional trauma down the line or whatever so I guess I have a third reason not to do it. We settled on Pearce.”
“Pearce Braun?”
“Is it stupid?!” Hitch exclaims. “I mean I like the name Pearce and Reiner thought it was funny but what do you think? You think they’ll make fun of him in school because I’ll kick a kid for my kid.”
“Relax Hitch,” Annie chuckled, “I think it’s great. I- I think it’s a beautiful and strong name.”
Hitch throws her head back and sighs with relief, “oh thank God.” She lifts her head and brings a hand to her stomach, her eyes meeting Annie’s and she quirks an eyebrow at her friend. “Got something on your mind?”
Annie hums, shrugging nonchalantly. “I just…I'm grateful.” She nods. “I was fully prepared to come back home and work extremely hard for everyone’s forgiveness and…I feel like I haven’t had to do that at all. The kids are exuberant, Eren cannot keep his hands off me, Reiner is seeking advice from me and you are just conversing with me about business and baby names as if nothing has changed.”
Hitch smiles softly, tilting her head to the side. “Well yeah silly, that’s because nothing has changed except the things that needed to.” Hitch extends her hand to Annie across the table and Annie leans forward accepting it by placing her hand in her friends. “You didn’t go away on a cushy little vacation Annie, you went away to get help. You already did the work for forgiveness and we already forgave.”
Annie breathes in her friend's words and lets her eyes drift shut as she sits with this fact. Ten years ago you couldn’t have given her a million dollars to say she was a lucky person and today she would scream it for free. Because she is lucky. Three beautiful babies that adore her and think she’s the best mommy. A husband that loves her despite her less than flattering past. And a best friend that continuously builds her up. She is indeed the luckiest woman she knows.
“Oh.” Annie’s eyes open and she’s met with a rather confused and concerned look on Hitch’s face.
“What is it?” She questions, squeezing her friend's hand.
“Bitch, did I just piss myself or is that what it feels like when your water breaks?”
Annie gasps softly and takes a quick peek under their patio table and sure enough there’s a puddle under Hitch’s seat. “Ohh…oh…oh my God, Hitch you’re in labor!!”
What a lucky time to be alive.