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Language:
English
Series:
Part 2 of us, maybe
Stats:
Published:
2022-05-22
Words:
933
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
14
Kudos:
281
Bookmarks:
13
Hits:
4,717

us, maybe

Summary:

“Do you still love me or is this just convenient?” Tay asks, feeling disgust rising with those words he wishes he’d never have to utter.

“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.” Time says and Tay believes him. “I love you so much and knowing that I ever hurt you kills me, I just - I don’t know what’s wrong. I don’t know how to fix it.”

Notes:

Haven’t read the books but know this is supposedly a cheating plot so i’m officially rejecting it

Work Text:

Reaching for the phone resting on his nightstand, Tay’s tired eyes peer open to see that it’s fourty seven minutes past four.

It’s not unusual for him to wake up like this at night. He tends to fall asleep again pretty quickly, so he just rolls over and curls up against his boyfriend.

An arm wraps around his waist, pulling him into a hug.

Glancing up, Tay is met with Time looking down at him.

What is unusual is for Time to be awake.

“Did I wake you?” Tay whispers, feeling no relief when his boyfriend shook his head. It would have been easier if it was his fault - this now means that there’s something keeping Time up.

Time’s a very easy going person. He never overthinks things, he doesn’t ponder over things. He takes on things as they come and he tries to be quick to find an easy solution.

If the solution isn’t easy, however, it can weigh on him.

“What’s wrong?” Tay prods but gets a kiss on the forehead instead and an attempt to tuck Tay back down to his chest, which he resists.

“We’ll talk about it later. Go to sleep.”

“You promised you’d talk to me, Time.” Tay says, trying to keep his emotions from showing on his face because there’s guilt in Time’s eyes and it scares the shit out of him how he won’t look him in the eyes.

“Okay.” Time breathes out and pulls Tay back against his chest, the latter relenting and allowing himself to be tucked in under Time’s chin.

“I’ve been having the same dream for way too long now.” Time starts. There’s sadness - or something even worse in his voice and it does nothing to calm Tay down, but he tries, god, he tries. “When we went to that dingy little bar with Kinn and his new bodyguard and Tankhun and everyone, y’know. Then his- Porsche’s friends came. Tem - I just - I keep dreaming about him and then thinking about him.”

Tay swallows, closing his eyes as there’s a sinking feeling in his stomach.

This has happened before. Time acted, he cheated, and it still hurts to this day, even if Tay forgave him. It’s been so difficult to build up the trust again and sometimes Tay wonders if he did the right thing because Time is naturally flirty and Tay just loves him so fucking much he doesn’t want to lose him.

It brings up thoughts that Tay isn’t enough, that he will never be enough for someone he loves so much.

“I talked to my therapist and she said that some people just are like that, they love more than one person, but-“ Time lets out a scoff. “That solves nothing. It doesn’t help.”

There’s pain in his voice and it’s something Tay never, never wants to hear so he pulls away from Time’s grip and faces him, knowing that pain is written all over his face too, but he needs to look at him, he needs answers.

His hand is on Time’s cheek, who leans into it.

“Do you still love me or is this just convenient?” Tay asks, feeling disgust rising with those words he wishes he’d never have to utter.

“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.” Time says and Tay believes him. “I love you so much and knowing that I ever hurt you kills me, I just - I don’t know what’s wrong. I don’t know how to fix it.”

Tay looks away as he digests these words. Time’s hand is now over his, the one on his cheek, and it’s grabbing at him almost desperately.

“I don’t want to lose you. I’ll do anything.”

There’s desperation in his voice, too.

He hates seeing Time like this, he hates hearing Time like this.

“Maybe,” Tay starts hesitantly. “Maybe there’s nothing to fix.”

He’s looking back at Time now whose eyebrows are furrowed in concern.

“If we are ever to meet him again - organically - do you think it might help take your mind off of him if we were to fuck him?”

Time perks up in surprise, eyes looking off to the side before they land on Tay again.

“You’d - you’d be up for that?”

Tay pushes himself up slightly so that he’s hovering over Time a little. “Mm. He’s cute. Only if we happen to meet him again and only if he’s up for it, obviously.” His voice becomes a little more delicate. “And only if I’m there. Only if you promise to keep talking to me.”

Time pushes himself up on his elbows so that he meets Tay, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. Tay shifts his weight, leaning his arm on Time’s chest to keep himself steady, using his other hand to cup Time’s cheek again, thumb running over the skin.

“I promise. I trust you.” Time says, tilting his head a little. His eyes are slightly hooded. “I’ll keep working to make you trust me again, too.”

Leaning in, Tay presses a gentle kiss to Time’s lips in a non verbal way of sharing his appreciation. The road they’re on isn’t easy, but they’re both trying to make it work.

“And if you ever would like to do that with someone other than Tem…” Time trails off, a small grin on his lips.

His Time is coming back, the one who doesn’t ever worry.

Playfully, Tay smacks him on the chest lightly. “You have a list, don’t you.”

“Maybe.” Time replies. “You’ll always be my number one, though.”

Pushing his chin up a little, Tay looks down at Time.

“I better be.”

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