Chapter Text
Steve pressed his lips together. There was a headache forming at his temples. This wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go. He was supposed to have a nice quiet evening alone with Eddie. He’d rented a movie. They were going to get takeout. It was going to be a nice, lovely little date.
Except, apparently something urgent was happening at the bowling alley, and it was imperative that Steve come pick up Dustin. At least, that’s what he’d said on the phone. As it turned out, the urgency was because Dustin, Mike, and Lucas were being asked to leave the premises for ‘unruly conduct.’ Steve wasn’t even sure he wanted to know, but unfortunately, the kids were most definitely going to tell him.
He wasn’t exactly listening as he walked back to the car, the three teens trailing behind him. Eddie was listening. He walked a few paces behind and let the kids steamroll him with an explanation of how there was a competition going right now where the first person to bowl a perfect game with the heaviest bowling ball won a limited edition Atari.
Naturally, they’d tried to cheat the system. Dustin had brought a protractor and his mother’s kitchen scale to the bowling lane, which was, evidently, against company policy.
“He just made that rule up on the spot,” Dustin whined to Eddie. “I mean, have you ever heard of any kind of rule like that before? No one gives a shit what you bring to a bowling alley. Mike brought leftover spaghetti in a Rubbermaid once and they let him in.”
“Maybe you should just actually get good at bowling,” Eddie suggested.
Steve laid a handle on the car door, and Lucas shouted, “Shotgun!”
He dove for the passenger door. Steve shot him a sharp look over the roof of the car.
“Ah, ah, no,” Steve said, snapping his fingers. “No chance. Backseat.”
“But I called it, man. Those are the rules.”
“No, the rules are Eddie gets shotgun.” Steve opened his door. “Permanently. Forever. No contest.”
“What?” Mike and Lucas both protested.
“Why does he get preferential treatment?” Mike accused.
“Because I actually like him,” Steve said. “Unlike you brats.”
Steve slid into the driver seat. Eddie happily pushed Lucas aside and climbed in across from Steve. He beamed, fluttering his lashes playfully. Even though it was just a joke, it still brought a rush of heat to Steve’s cheeks.
It had been a week since their first kiss. So far, they hadn’t told any of the kids. Only Robin had been formally notified, and that had happened the morning after they got together. She shouted into the phone, cheering, and Steve had to hold the earpiece away from his face to not do permanent damage to his eardrums. The next shift he worked at Family Video had been more of a gossip session than anything. Robin asked the who, the why, the how. Steve told her everything and felt like he ought to be twirling his hair around his finger as he did so.
He and Eddie had talked about how to tell the kids, or if they even wanted to. Eddie said he was okay being Steve’s dirty little secret. “After all, we’ve had plenty of secrets so far,” Eddie teased. Steve didn’t find it very funny. He didn’t like having secrets, and he definitely didn’t think Eddie deserved to be anyone’s secret.
“How about this,” Steve had suggested. “We don’t hide it, but we don’t necessarily show it off either. And if any of the kids ask, we tell the truth.”
The compromise seemed to work for the both of them.
It was funny the way getting together with Eddie had simultaneously changed everything, and nothing at all. They got to kiss each other, now. They got to touch each other. They got handsy under the blankets and Eddie was sporting a near constant hickey on his collarbone, but other than that, everything was pretty much the same. They still argued over who got to play music in the car, they channel surfed after dinner until Eddie fell asleep on the couch, Eddie still stole tastes of whatever Steve was cooking until Steve shooed him out of the kitchen.
It really put into perspective how long they’d been at this without even knowing it.
“Dude, that’s so bogus,” Lucas complained, squeezing into the backseat between Dustin and Mike. “You can’t just change the rules.”
“Oh, is it bogus?” Steve asked, starting the call. “Because personally, I was just thinking that it’s bogus that you assholes got kicked out of a bowling alley and drug me out to chauffeur you around. Now, where am I going? Henderson’s?”
“No,” Dustin groaned. “My mom has her book club people over.”
“Oh, yuck.” Lucas fakes puking noises.
“Okay, Sinclair? Yours, then?”
“Hell no,” Lucas snorted. “Erica is having a sleepover. There are like six middle schoolers at my house. Would you want to hang out there?”
Steve conceded that he had a good point. He looked at Mike in the rearview mirror.
“Okay, Wheeler, yours it is.”
“What?” Mike protested. “Why can’t we-- What if we wanted to hang out with you guys?”
“I had plans tonight,” Steve said. “Plans that didn’t involve you lot.”
“But you’re hanging out with Eddie!” Mike protested.
“So?” Steve raised a brow. He started up the car and began pulling out of the lot, intent on dropping them off at the Wheelers whether they liked it or not.
“Well, you’re obviously not busy tonight,” Mike argued. “And Dustin’s mom’s book club will be over in, like, two hours tops.”
“That might not actually be true, sometimes they open a bottle of wine and then--”
Mike leaned across Lucas’s lap to slap at Dustin’s shoulder.
Steve ignored them. He looked sideways at Eddie and raised his brows in a silent question. Eddie shrugged. He gave a fond smile, the kind he only reserved for when Steve was losing an argument spectacularly. Steve pressed his lips together, huffed out his nose, then said, “Fine. Two hours tops. You guys can watch a movie, then I’m taking you home. And I’m not feeding you.”
Chatter started up in the backseat, snippets about the bowling alley, hypotheses about how they could sneak the scales in better next time, arguments about the necessity of the scales at all. Steve just looked over at Eddie who had his head tilted at an angle, watching Steve. Then he smiled, and made a heart with his hands against his chest. Steve bit his lip and tried to suppress his smile.
The bowling alley argument continued for the rest of the drive. When they pulled into Steve’s driveway, the kids poured out of the backseat, raising their voices to talk over one another. Steve just trudged to the door and stuck his key in the lock. Eddie turned the knob once Steve removed his key and held the door open with a flourish, bowing Steve into the house. He did no such thing for the others, letting it nearly slam shut in Dustin’s face. Dustin made a noise of protest, before quickly resuming his conversation with the others.
Dustin had brought the protractor inside. He knelt on Steve’s living room floor and began explaining something to Lucas about right angles and geometric principles. Mike had clearly lost interest in this conversation, because he chose to follow Eddie into the kitchen instead.
“Also, I thought that trap was totally cheap, dude,” Mike complained. “You literally placed it exactly where you knew I would go. Oh, and also that elvish map? That was targeted.”
“Was it?” Eddie asked. He brushed Steve’s elbow with his fingertips as he passed him in the kitchen, going to one of the cupboards and rummaging.
“You know I’m the only one in the party who can’t read elvish.”
“Do I?” Eddie closed the cupboard and held up a sleeve of Ritz crackers triumphantly. He leaned against the counter beside Steve and offered him one before taking his own. Mike reached for a cracker, but Eddie twitched the sleeve out of his reach.
“Duh,” Mike said, reaching for the crackers again and scowling when Eddie continued his game of keepaway. “You’re the DM.”
“It does make one wonder if it’s wise to argue with the DM, then,” Eddie mused.
Eddie offered Steve another cracker, then winked at him.
“Steve!” Dustin shouted from the other room. “Do you have graph paper?”
Steve made an incredulous face.
“I have normal paper. Like a normal person.”
“Where?”
“I don’t know,” Steve snorted. “Check the office.”
Dustin stomped through the kitchen and down the hall. Eddie’s game of keep away had graduated to Mike lunging for the crackers and trying to wrestle them out of Eddie’s hands. In the chaos of flailing limbs, Steve caught one of Eddie’s elbows to the jaw. It was a hard hit, enough to jerk his head backward to knock against the cupboard.
Eddie yelped. He set the crackers on the counter behind him and reached for Steve.
“Ow,” Steve said, rubbing his jaw.
“Jesus Christ,” Eddie said. He placed his palms against Steve’s cheeks and tilted his head to examine any damage. “Fuck, Steve, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Steve laughed. He’d take another elbow to the jaw if it meant Eddie would look at him with those concerned eyes, touch him with those gentle hands. “Just keep your elbows to yourself. They’re boney.”
Eddie smiled at him, pressed a thumb to Steve’s sore chin gently, then dropped his hands. He turned toward Mike sternly.
Mike had retrieved the cracker sleeve, but didn’t seem to be interested in eating them anymore. He was staring at them, jaw slack, eyes wide.
“What the fuck was that?”
“What was what?” Eddie challenged. “You attacked me and made me hit Steve, who was an innocent bystander. You should be the one apologizing.”
Mike ignored this suggestion. He just looked between them, nose scrunched, and said, “Did you just, like--” He pantomimed caressing something, wiggling his fingers. They just blinked at him, unimpressed.
Mike took a step back and looked between them with increased intensity. Steve saw his gaze go first to their shoulders, which were pressed together. Then to their hips, which were also pressed together. Then to the hickey just peeking out of Eddie’s shirt. His eyes narrowed.
“What’s going on?” Mike asked, suspiciously.
“With what?” Eddie asked, innocently.
“You.” Mike pointed the cracker sleeve at Eddie, then swung it toward Steve. “And him.”
“Hm, good question. And since we’re asking highly personal and pointed questions, I’ve got one of my own.” Eddie’s smile was positively wicked. Steve very nearly put a stop to it, whatever it was, before it began. “Are you or are you not dating Will Byers?”
Mike’s mouth dropped open. He spluttered, looking furious. Shoulders hunched, nostrils flaring, he said, “Well, are you dating Steve?”
“Yes,” Eddie and Steve said in unison. Then they turned to each other, twin smiles on their faces, and said, “Jinx!”
Steve began to laugh. Eddie slid and arm around his waist, tugging him against him jovially. When they looked back at Mike his mouth was open again, eyes darting between them, darting to Eddie’s hand on Steve’s waist.
“Wait-- Wait, like, for real?”
“Yes, for real,” Steve confirmed.
“Steve seduced me,” Eddie explained.
Mike was, evidently, speechless. He just stared at them and looked like he was processing something traumatic. Steve figured his best option was just to let this run its course and deal with the aftermath. Eddie seemed to have other ideas, because he opened his mouth to speak with another mischievous smile on his face, but was interrupted by Dustin re-entering the room.
Dustin paused a moment to survey the scene in the kitchen. Eddie’s arm was still around Steve’s waist. Either he didn’t see it, or wasn’t phased by it, because not even a flutter of surprise showed on his face. He just held up a manila folder and said, “What is this?”
“What?” Steve frowned. “How should I know? That’s just some… folder… Oh, fuck.”
Dustin’s eyebrows shot up. Steve felt Eddie stiffen beside him.
“Have you been writing to Evie?” Dustin asked.
Mike whipped around, looking at Dustin, then back at Steve and Eddie.
“Uh oh,” Eddie said quietly. Steve stepped away from him and marched over to Dustin, snatching the folder out of his hands.
“I told you to go get paper, not start snooping through things,” Steve scolded.
“I was looking for paper. That is a folder full of paper,” Dustin argued. “It was a logical place to check!”
“What is it?” Mike asked, reaching for the folder. Steve held it above his head.
Lucas rounded the corner, looking confused.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“Steve has a folder full of Dear Evie columns in his office,” Dustin explained.
“That’s my dad’s office, actually,” Steve said, because it was easier to clarify that point than explain the truth. Steve glanced at Eddie. He was leaning forward, elbows on the countertop, just watching the situation unfold.
“Oh my God,” Dustin said. “Is your dad Evie?”
“No,” Steve balked. “Definitely not.”
“Are you Evie?” Lucas countered.
“No!”
“Wait, do you know who Evie is?” Mike asked, eyes wide.
“Okay, that’s it,” Steve huffed. He handed the folder off to Eddie, who took it reflexively. Steve was having a hard time reading the expression on his face. He didn’t look upset, he mostly looked like he was considering something, weighing options. Steve wanted to give him space. Wanted to get these meddling kids out of his way.
Steve placed a shoulder on Dustin and Mike’s shoulders, since they were the closest to him. He began pushing them toward the door.
“Car. Now. I’m taking you all home. This has been entirely too many questions for one night.”
“But you’re lying,” Mike argued, twisting in Steve’s grasp. He looked behind Steve’s back at Dustin. “They’ve been keeping secrets from us!”
“What secrets?” Dustin asked.
“The hickeys!” Mike jerked his shoulder, trying to escape Steve. Steve just tightened his fingers in Mike’s shirt. “Those hickeys Eddie has! Steve gave them to him.”
“Duh,” Dustin said. That gave Steve pause. He stopped his crusade to get them to the door and frowned down at Dustin.
“Duh?” Steve repeated. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Dustin rolled his eyes. He jerked his shoulder, and Steve released the both of them.
"Everyone knows you guys are together,” Dustin said. “It’s, like, super obvious.”
“It is pretty obvious,” Lucas agreed.
“What?” Mike squawked. He looked between his friends frantically. Evidently, it had not been obvious to him.
Steve stood in the center of the trio, feeling lost for where to go next. He turned to look at Eddie, who was doubled over with silent laughter. He had one hand braced on the countertop and his shoulders were shaking.
“Oh, is this funny to you?” Steve accused. Eddie nodded his head, still cackling. “Jesus Christ.”
Steve rubbed his eyebrow with a thumb. The kids all looked up at him with accusing expressions. Dustin even had his hands on his hips. In the kitchen Eddie was still howling with laughter.
“Eddie, do you want want to-- Think you could help me out here, man?”
“What do you want me to say?” Eddie asked, wiping at his eyes. He took a deep breath, steadying himself, then tossed the folder on the counter with a loud slap. “Alright, family meeting. Kids, go sit at the table.”
The kids all exchanged looks, as though they couldn’t tell if Eddie was serious. Steve snapped his fingers and pointed to the table.
“You heard your father,” he said. “Table, now.”
They dragged their feet to the dining room, all choosing to sit on the same side, shoulder to shoulder in solidarity. Steve and Eddie went to the side opposite them. Eddie pulled out a chair for Steve performatively, then took his own seat with his ankle resting on his knee, leaned back, relaxed. Steve placed his hands on the table seriously. Good cop, bad cop.
“Okay, who’s first?” Eddie asked. The kids just blinked at him. “You each get a chance to ask one question, and whichever of us you ask has to answer fairly. But that’s it, no follow up questions.”
Eddie looked at Steve. “Does that seem fair?”
Steve shrugged. This was Eddie’s rodeo. All Steve’s secrets were already out in the open since, apparently, his relationship with Eddie was ‘obvious.’ Eddie took Steve’s shrug as confirmation and turned back to the kids. He pointed at Mike.
“Wheeler, you first.”
Mike set his jaw, glaring at Eddie.
“How did you know about me and Will?”
Steve noticed that Dustin and Lucas didn’t so much as twitch at that question. They already knew, then. That was interesting. Steve wondered how long it had been going on, and to what extent.
“Easy,” Eddie said. “I know everyone’s secrets. I’m the DM, remember?”
“Bullshit,” Dustin said. “That’s not an honest answer. That’s a know-it-all answer.”
“He’s telling the truth,” Steve added. “Eddie does know everyone’s secrets.”
Eddie smiled at him, reaching over to pat Steve’s thigh in gratitude.
Mike crossed his arms over his chest, visibly displeased with the answer.
“How?” Mike asked.
“Ah, ah.” Eddie wagged a finger. “No follow up questions. Sinclair, you’re up.”
“Do you know who Evie is?”
This question was directed at Steve. He refused to look at Eddie as he said, “Yes.”
“Dude,” Dustin said, reaching over to slap Lucas’s shoulder. “You shouldn’t have asked a yes or no.”
“Wait, I want to rephrase,” Lucas backtracked. “ Who is Evie?”
“No, no take backs.” Eddie pointed at Dustin. “Henderson, go.”
Dustin shrugged. He placed his arms across the table primly, looking smug.
“I don’t have any questions.”
“What?” Mike and Lucas said at once.
“I figured it out already,” Dustin said plainly. “Obviously, Eddie is Evie. I mean, the names alone. Come on. You know everyone’s secrets because everyone writes to you. You knew about Mike and Will because Mike wrote in, like, ages ago. He told us he was going to. And of course Steve knows who Evie is, because you two have been boning for six months and somehow thought we didn’t know. Easy.”
Steve raised his eyebrows and nodded, a bit impressed really.
“Right on all accounts,” Eddie said. Then he leaned forward conspiratorially. “Except one.”
“What?” Dustin looked at him in disbelief, the smug look slipping off his face.
“We haven’t boned yet,” Eddie said. Steve gasped and slapped Eddie’s arm, hissing his name.
“Oh, what ever, ” Dustin huffed. “You guys are dating, though, right?”
“Yes,” Eddie said. He looked over at Steve, who nodded in agreement.
“Cool,” Dusting said. His smug look returned, evidently pleased with his deductive reasoning.
“Cool?” Stever repeated. He looked at each of them for any sign of disgust or displeasure. He found plenty of displeasure -- Mike’s arms were still crossed, eying Eddie with disgruntlement -- but no disgust. In fact, they all seemed to quickly be losing interest in Steve and Eddie at all, turning to one another instead.
“I knew it,” Lucas said. “I told you Max said he came over to the trailer park like, all the time.”
“Yeah, but you thought that meant he was buying drugs!”
“Or sucking face!”
“Can we all please acknowledge that I’m the only one who figured out the Evie thing?”
“You thought it was Nancy!”
“Yeah, until the party! And then I told you -- What did I tell you? I said, ‘This sounds like Eddie.’”
Steve tuned them out. He turned to look at Eddie. He was smiling serenely, watching the kids with just a touch of fondness in his expression.
“You feeling okay?” Steve asked, leaning in close, voice low enough that the kids wouldn’t hear him over their shouting.
“God yes,” Eddie laughed. He tossed an arm over Steve’s shoulder, nosing at Steve’s cheek. “This is better than I could have dreamed. I knew they’d find out eventually. I hoped it would involve at least half this much chaos.”
Steve shook his head, smiling. He shifted so that he was better tucked under Eddie’s arm, tipping his head sideways to rest on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie just planted an extravagantly loud kiss against the top of his head, drawing the attention of the kids momentarily.
“Gross,” Mike said.
“Shut up, Wheeler.” Eddie aimed a kick at him under the table.
“Are you guys going to be like this, like, all the time now?” Dustin asked.
“Dude, they were always like this,” Lucas said.
“Yeah,” Mike agreed. “Remember that time at my house, with your new radio? They were basically cuddling on the couch.”
“Yeah, and what about that time at Dixie’s when they were, like, feeding each other fries?”
“Ugh, so gross.”
Steve let them run their mouths. As much as he felt annoyed, he felt pleased, too. Eddie’s arm was still around his shoulder, the kids were complaining the way they always did, and he could rest easy knowing loving Eddie wasn’t going to cost him the love of the kids. As much as they whined that it was gross, there wasn’t a single hint of prejudice in their tones. In a way, their annoyance was complimentary. It meant they cared, in their snide, teenager ways.
Eddie ducked his head and nuzzled his nose against Steve’s hair. Steve just smiled and let himself enjoy the moment.
He knew it wouldn’t last forever. There was still something burning in the back of his mind. It had been there for days, simmering, threatening to spill out at inopportune moments. Nancy, hands covering his across a sticky diner table, sharp gaze burning into him. Offer again.
Steve drove the kids home after Dustin got confirmation that book club was over. Contrary to Steve’s earlier assertions about not feeding the children, he’d ended up ordering chinese takeout for the entire group. He and Eddie shared a box of noodles, and Steve made sure to get a double order of egg rolls just because he knew they were Eddie’s favorite. After dinner Steve corralled the kids toward the car, and Eddie stayed behind with the claim that he’d clean up the dinner mess. Lucas took the passenger seat smuggly in his absence.
When Steve returned home, Eddie was tucked into the corner of the couch, feet beneath him, one hand curled under his chin. He was staring at some talk show on the tv, but his eyes were vacant. He didn’t react when Steve entered the house and toed off his shoes at the door.
Steve approached the back of the sofa, dropping both hands on Eddie’s shoulders gently. He twitched at the touch, as though he hadn’t even registered Steve’s entrance. Eddie’s hand came up to cover Steve’s slowly. He didn’t look away from the tv.
“Hi,” Steve said softly. He leaned down to kiss Eddie on the cheek. “What are you watching?”
“I don’t know,” Eddie said, absently.
Steve draped his arms around Eddie’s neck, crossing them across Eddie’s chest and bending at the waist to rest his chin on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie curled his fingers around Steve’s forearms.
“What are you thinking?” Steve tried instead.
“I don’t know,” Eddie repeated.
Steve moved his thumbs rhythmically across Eddie’s biceps, hoping it was comforting. They stayed like that for a long time, Steve holding Eddie loosely, and Eddie staring forward at the television. Steve watched what was happening on the screen, but it didn’t hold his focus. He was worrying about this sudden change in mood, wondering if Eddie had been uncomfortable in the house alone or if it was something else entirely that set him off.
Eventually the position became uncomfortable, Steve’s back aching in protest. He unwound his arms and stood up, stretching. Eddie just wrapped his arms around his stomach and tucked his knees tighter against his chest. Steve reached over the back of the couch for the remote and turned off the tv. Eddie turned, looking up at him. He looked tired. There was a redness at edge of his eyes and Steve wasn’t sure if it was from exhaustion or emotion.
Steve swung a leg over the back of the couch and slid onto the seat next to Eddie. He angled himself so that he was facing Eddie, one foot pulled up on the cushions, the other resting on the floor.
“Are you upset they found out?” Steve asked. He’d been going through a list of things that might have triggered this somber mood. Earlier he’d seemed pleased at the turn of events, laughing at the commotion his reveal had caused and teasing the kids for not having guessed sooner. But Eddie had always been more than capable of lying about his true feelings on things of this nature, so Steve figured he better check again.
“No,” Eddie said. He wrapped his arms around his legs, resting his chin on his knee. “I wanted them to know. I didn’t know it would go like that, but… Well, it feels wrong keeping secrets from them, doesn’t it?”
“It does,” Steve agreed. “And they probably think you’re even cooler now. You have a whole secret identity. That basically makes you a superhero.”
Eddie laughed, but it was more of a hiccup. He tightened his grip on his shins, and Steve didn’t like the way his fingers dug into his skin. He reached out to take one of Eddie’s hands, tugging it into his own lap so he could twist Eddie’s rings.
“Steve,” Eddie whispered. He was looking at his own hand in Steve’s. “I feel like shit.”
That wrenched something in Steve’s heart. He dropped Eddie’s hand and opened his arms. Eddie tipped sideways, crashing against Steve’s chest. Steve folded his arms around Eddie, tugging him close, trying to shield him from whatever was tormenting him. Steve placed a hand gently against Eddie’s hair, running his fingers through the curls.
“What’s making you feel like shit?”
“I had fun tonight. I always have fun on nights like these. But other nights… Other nights aren’t as fun. And I don’t know what to do with…” Eddie sucked in a shaky breath. “With any of it. With you, with the kids… With myself.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I want to be happy.”
Steve nodded. It was such a simple thing to want, but the steps to get there were foggy, obscured, nearly impossible to navigate. It was true for Eddie, it was true for Steve. There were so many components all bouncing around in a great big bag of possibility. Their relationship, the kids, their friends, Hawkins, the rest of the world, the cruel court of public opinion.
“I want you to be happy, too,” Steve said softly. “But I don’t think it’s going to happen here.”
“Here?”
“In Hawkins,” Steve clarified.
“But the kids--” Eddie sniffled, turning his head to bury his face in Steve’s neck. “You have so much here--”
“Let’s not worry about me, okay?” Steve shifted, allowing Eddie to burrow deeper into his embrace. “Can we play ‘what if’ for a minute?”
Eddie nodded. Steve smiled, resting a cheek against the crown of Eddie’s head.
“What if… What if we got a place together? Somewhere else, somewhere that wasn’t here.” Eddie made a noise to confirm he was listening, but didn’t say anything. “And what if you were able to work under your real name? Nancy says that you could write for any local paper in the country if you wanted to, and she’s right. But it doesn’t have to be that if you don’t want it to be, it could be anything. You could do anything you wanted. And I’m at least somewhat employable, I’d find something. We could have a nice apartment in a city somewhere. We could get two bedrooms, so no one suspects anything.”
Eddie’s shoulders shook. Steve just tightened his arms and pressed his cheek harder against Eddie’s hair.
“We could use it as a guest room. Robin could visit anytime she wanted. And… what if in the summers, we invited the kids to come stay with us for a few weeks, at least while they’re still in school. They’d think that was great, especially if we lived somewhere cool. They could run around the city and we’d get headaches trying to make sure they didn’t get into trouble. It would be a nightmare, probably.”
Eddie laughed. It was wet and choked with emotion. He nodded against Steve’s chest.
“They won’t stay in Hawkins forever, either. They’ll grow up eventually, go off to college, make their own lives. But we could still see them. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty used to being at their beck and call. They could have reserved space in our house. We’d keep the cot for Dustin.”
Eddie laughed again. It was the same sad sound, but at least it wasn’t a sob.
“And what if…” Steve swallowed, turning to whisper the next words against the crown of Eddie’s head. “What if I loved you, for the rest of forever, or as long as you wanted me? Would that… Would that make you happy?”
“Yes,” Eddie choked. His grip around Steve’s waist was almost painful, squeezing him so tight Steve could barely breathe. “ Yes. ”
“Then that’s it, baby,” Steve said. “It’s a done deal. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
Eddie sobbed. Steve just held him tight and let him ride it out. He tangled his fingers in Eddie’s hair, pressed kisses to his curls, and let him mourn whatever it was he was mourning.
It wasn’t how Steve thought his life would go. He always pictured himself buying a house two blocks from where he grew up, with a pickett fence, a wife, and three kids. Now he had no clue where his life was going. He didn’t know if there would ever be a picket fence, but that part didn’t really matter. The details didn’t matter. He just wanted to be with someone who made him happy, with someone he could make happy.
He could make Eddie happy. He’d do anything in his power. It was what he’d been trying to do from that first day he stormed into the Wheeler’s house at seven in the morning with a half-baked plan, begging Nancy to just give Eddie a chance. He hadn’t known then what it was all for. He just knew he was compelled to do something, to help someone who needed it.
Along the way he fell in love. Along the way his ideas about the future shifted and twisted, becoming something entirely new and unfamiliar. But life wouldn’t be what it was if he always knew where he was going, what surprises were just around the corner.
“You boys are going to have so much fun in the city,” Steve’s mother said, placing sandwiches in a tiny cooler on the countertop for them to take on their drive. “I almost wish I was going with you.”
“You can always visit,” Eddie said cheerfully.
He was digging through a backpack he’d placed on the kitchen table, trying to find a cassette he’d misplaced. He’d told Steve on no uncertain terms that there was no way he was making the three hour drive to Chicago with just Steve’s tapes to listen to.
“Oh, now, don’t make promises you won’t keep,” Steve’s mother said. She closed the cooler, folding her arms over the lid and resting her chin atop them.
“He’s telling the truth,” Steve said.
He would always welcome his mother into their home. She’d be instrumental in helping work out all the details. During her trips to Chicago with Steve’s father she’d scouted the neighborhood for them, returning home one day with an application for an apartment in one of the suburbs. There was a go-kart track and a spattering of bars nearby, a bowling alley that hired Steve after one phone call, and a neighborhood paper that was looking to expand their entertainment section.
As far as she and his father knew, Steve and Eddie were splitting the rent until they could find places of their own. They’d keep that lie running as long as they could, and figure out a new one when they needed to. Steve was almost certain his mother knew the truth, though. She’d wept when he told her, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and telling him she was proud.
“I’m glad you have someone who makes you happy, baby,” she’d said. That was as good a confirmation as any.
Outside the Harrington house, a car horn blared. The door was already open, left ajar from where Steve and Eddie were packing the final items into Eddie’s van. He’d sold his own car to pay for moving costs. They’d run the van into the ground for as long as they could. Hopefully by the time it finally gave in they could afford something that suited the both of them.
Steve walked to the foyer, and saw the Wheeler brood spilling out of Nancy’s car. Steve walked out to meet them. Jonathan had a box under one arm as he approached. Nancy was carrying nothing, which was a good thing because she flung her arms around his neck the moment she was close enough.
“God,” she said. “I can’t believe this is actually happening.”
“It’s not forever, Nance,” Steve said, patting her back. “You guys will come visit us. Or we’ll visit you.”
“Damn right we will,” Jonathan said. He gave a salute to Eddie, who had emerged from the house behind Steve. “I’ve heard the bars around that area are killer.”
“I guess we’ll have to find out,” Eddie said.
“Ugh,” Mike groaned. “But we can’t go to bars.”
The ‘we’ in question was himself, Will, and El. They all stood on the lawn, watching Steve and Nancy break apart from their hug.
“Guess we’ll just have to leave you behind, then,” Jonathan said. He passed the box over to Eddie. “This is for you. We all, uh, chipped in. It’s used, but I checked that it worked and everything.”
Eddie set the box on the hood of Nancy’s car and opened the flaps. Over Eddie’s shoulder, Steve saw a word processor, not unlike his father’s. Eddie grinned up at Jonathan.
“Shit, thank you, man.”
“Don’t mention it,” Jonathan shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. “Hope it treats you well.”
Nancy hugged Eddie next. She whispered something to him, something Steve couldn’t hear, but it made Eddie smile.
Steve turned toward the kids. They began to bombard him with questions. How close was the go-kart track to his house? When could they visit? Could they all come at the same time, or would they need to take turns? Behind him Steve could hear Nancy speaking with Eddie.
“We’ve had a few applicants so far, but none are as good as you,” Nancy said. She’d only been a little bitter about having to replace Eddie for the Dear Evie column. They’d put an advertisement out a few weeks ago asking for auditions. Nancy told Steve that she sort of hoped it would just die once Eddie left, but her editor had insisted on keeping the column running. It wouldn’t be the same without Eddie, they all knew that. But that was Hawkins’s loss, and Chicago’s gain.
As the kids continued their tirade of questions, another car rolled to the curb. Robin pulled to a jerky stop behind Eddie’s van. It had been a monumental day when she finally got her license. She hadn’t been pleased, telling Steve she’d only done it so she could uphold his mantle as resident chauffeur. She waved at them as she climbed out of the car. The rest of the herd swarmed out from the backseat. Even Erica had come to say goodbye. The kids crowded around Eddie, asking a similar set of questions as Steve had been accosted with.
The kids had taken it well. Mostly they wanted to know what was in it for them. Would there be a room they could stay in, and was Steve going to allow them to visit. Steve said he’d drive a van down to pick them all up himself if that’s what it took. There was no way he was living the next stretch of his life without at least a dozen tension headaches from babysitting the lot of them at once. He’d become too accustomed to the hole they filled in his life, he wasn’t ready to give that up.
That didn’t mean that a bit more peace and quiet every now and then wouldn’t be appreciated.
Robin approached Steve with watery eyes. She’d cried a lot, recently. He’d promised her a million times that there was a place for her to stay anytime she wanted to visit, and that for all the time in between he was only a phonecall away. It didn’t lessen the pain. Steve was going to miss her desperately. He hoped she’d follow in their footsteps soon enough. She’d make a good neighbor. An annoying one, possibly, but Steve had always found great pleasure in being annoyed by Robin.
She wrapped her arms around him and sniffled against his shoulder. Steve hugged her and said, “Don’t cry, Robin. If you cry, I’ll cry, and then the kids will have something else to tease me about for the rest of my life.”
“I’m not crying,” Robin lied. She pulled back and looked at him through tears. “God, I’m just so mad at you. And so happy for you. What kind of feeling is that, when you’re mad and happy at the same time?”
“I don’t know,” Steve said honestly. “But you’re not going to stay mad-happy at me forever, are you?”
“I just might,” she said, wiping at her eyes.
Though Steve easily could have spent the rest of the night out on the lawn surrounded by the people who loved him, he had a long drive ahead of him. Eventually Eddie went inside to retrieve the last items, storing them in the back seat of the van, and Steve met his mother on the porch. She wound her arms around his neck and told him to be safe, to call her as soon as he could. He promised he would.
Then she turned to Eddie and wrapped him in a hug, too.
“Keep him out of trouble,” she said.
“Oh, now, that’s his job, Mrs. Harrington,” Eddie laughed. “I’m the troublemaker.”
Then they turned toward the group on the lawn. They each said their goodbyes in their own way.
Robin hugged them both at once, trying to spread her arms wide enough to encompass both Steve and Eddie’s shoulders at the same time. Eddie just laughed. Steve kissed her cheek.
Nancy hugged them both individually, and got in a few last minute suggestions for how Eddie should format his application letters to the Mokena Weekly.
Jonathan slipped a joint into Eddie’s hands, and gave Steve a one armed hug.
Dustin hugged them both like brothers, and told them he’d heard Chicago had a good tech school. He’d be applying when he was old enough.
Mike whined that they’d never have a DM as good as Eddie.
Will chastised Mike for such a claim, and promised to take good care of Hellfire in Eddie’s absence.
Lucas shook Steve’s hand and told him thanks for being a ‘real one.’ Steve wasn’t entirely sure what that meant.
Erica didn’t hug either of them. In fact she pretended that she didn’t even care they were leaving. But she did thank Steve for all the ice cream he’d given her, all those years ago.
Max threw her arms around Eddie and let him pick her up in a half spin. There was something between them that Steve wasn’t sure he understood. Something that probably had to do with absent brother figures and shared trailer park trauma. When he let her down, she shot dirty looks at everyone, as if challenging them to criticize her display of affection.
And El told Steve that she would spy on him, sometimes, just to know he was okay. He told her to be careful with that, or else she might see things she didn’t want to. She just narrowed her eyes at him, then wrapped her arms around his waist.
After that, Steve and Eddie climbed into the van. Steve had insisted on driving, though he hated the van. Eddie waved goodbye from the passenger window and blew them all dramatic kisses. Then they pulled away, and privately Steve said goodbye to the life he used to know. Some doors closed, other doors opened. That was the way of it.
Eddie reached across the center console. He took Steve’s hand in his, intertwining their fingers. He squeezed once, then lifted their linked hands to his mouth and pressed a kiss first to the joint of Steve’s thumb, then to the back of his hand.
“I have a secret for you,” Eddie said.
Steve glanced at him, one eyebrow raised.
“Oh?”
“It’s a big one,” Eddie warned. “I hope you’re ready for it.”
“Well, you better get on with it, then,” Steve said. He could anticipate what was coming next, a smile already forming on his face at the imagined sound of it.
“I think I’m in love with you.”
“Really?” Steve bounced his eyebrows. “Well, shit. I think I’m in love with you, too.”
Eddie laughed. Then he pushed a cassette into the tape deck, and filled the car with the horrendous sounds of Quiet Riot.