Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“ El! I don’t know if you can hear this but… if you can I want you to know I'm here, okay I’m right here. And… I love you. El, do you hear me? I. Love. You. I’m sorry I don’t say it more, it- it's not because I’m scared of you. I- I- not. I- I- I’ve never felt that way. Never! But, I am scared is that one day you’ll realize you don’t need me anymore. And I thought that if I said how I felt it would somehow make that day hurt more.”

I looked at Mike as he continued to speak. Everyone is holding their breaths because we have to get this right or everyone dies. My sister is trying to breathe but it looks to be something or someone is choking her…

“But the truth is, El… I don’t know how to live without you. I feel like my life started that day when we found you in the woods.”

My face drops as I slowly back away. Your life started the day I went missing… That day was the worst day of my life. I look away holding in the tears, did his life really start on November 6th. What about when we met? When we became a pack? Was that really all just play? Was it all just fake? He continued…

“ You were wearing that yellow Benny’s burgers t-shirt, and it was so big it swallowed you whole. I knew right then and there, in that moment that I loved you. And, I’ve loved you every day since. I love you on your good days, I love you on your bad days, I love you with your powers, I love you without your powers. I love you for EXACTLY who you are. You’re My superhero. And… I can’t lose you. Okay, do you hear me, I can’t lose you. You can do anything, you can fly, you can move mountains, I believe that. I really do. But, right now you just have to fight. Okay!? El! Do you hear me? You need to fight! You have to fight! Fight! FIGHT!”

Time passes and she finally bolts up from her shifting. Hugging Mike saying I love you too… After she got all cleaned up we all enter the car, it was a silent drive but then El starts to speak. She starts to describe who and what she was fighting. She started to explain why she thought he was doing this. As she talked I couldn’t help but think of that night. He was the one behind all of this, the boss, the puppet master. He got everyone to do his bidding, he was the mastermind behind all of the horrible things happening in Hawkins. From that night to the gates opening up.

The Doctor was right. Henry, he would call him… he doesn’t just kill for fun but he kills for a reason. These attacks weren’t just at random, they were all connected. I have stayed up countless nights thinking about this, I never forgot the feeling of him always watching but as we get closer that feeling becomes stronger. The Demogorgon and demo dogs were just hunting random people, like Barb she had nothing to do with anything. They just hurt others because they wanted to and weren’t controlled they were just the warm-up. They were just soldiers. Vecna is the 5-star general calling the shots.

I couldn’t help but feel all of this anger building up inside of me. Dr. Owens and “Papa”. Owens was going to help me control these powers. I didn’t even know I had these powers, after the upside-down… could it have been that? I didn’t speak at all during the car ride. My thoughts had taken over…

“ Hello! Earth to Will?! Are you okay?” Mike said.

His voice snapped me back into reality.

“Oh, huh? Yeah, I'm fine” I say as I blink.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*TIME SKIP*

As we enter Hawkins many others are leaving. Getting away from this cursed place. The feeling I get just passing the Welcome to Hawkins sign is one I cannot get rid of. A feeling that will forever stay with me until I die. As we pull up to Mike’s house, I see boxes. I see my friends, my second family you could say. As we get out of the car, everyone looks at us in disbelief. Well, the gang is back together. Everyone hugs, the first person I actually got a hug from like a real not forced hug was Dustin.

“I’ve missed you so much, man,” Dustin says.

“ Me too buddy…” I say.

“Johnathan, I'm so glad you're here so much has happened and-”

“I know… I know more than you think Nancy” Jonathan says as he kisses her forehead.

But we’re missing someone. Lucus and Max…

“Where’s Lucas?” I say…

Everyone shares a look and the next thing I knew we were at the hospital.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The hospital...

Walking into the room was just heartbreaking. The energy in here wasn't positive but negative. I'm not talking about the emotions but the room just feels weird. Even though Max and I weren't close I still considered her a friend.
A great friend.

She was laying in the hospital bed, with casts everywhere. She was alive but at the same time, she seemed dead. El had tried to find her but all she found was nothing. Pitch black she had described. He had taken everything from his victims and left the bodies. As trophies? A sign?

After a while, we left the hospital. We ended up at Hopper's cabin. The destroyed one. Walking into the dirty, gloomy cabin only brought back memories. We got to cleaning. El walked into her old room and shut the door, Mike and I looked at each other and then we looked away.

"It's good that he is gone for good right Will?"

I ignored him and just kept cleaning. He wasn't gone...

"Will?" Mike says again but louder.

"No."

Mike shared a look of confusion.

Chapter Text

“ Now that I’m back here in Hawkins, I haven’t felt the feeling of him but it is something I will never forget…I-”

My voice starts to break It was hard to find the word. I took a breath.

“I-I can still feel him. He’s badly hurt and he is mad. He’s not done with us yet. He’s not done with Hawkins. He’s not going to stop until everyone is gone…”

A tear…

I don’t know I had finally thought I was free from all of this.

 But in reality, I will never truly be done with it. I will always have a piece of it with me.

Forever.

I quickly wiped my tears away. Then, we hear a knock. We both turn to the door and there was Hooper. I thought he was dead, my first instinct was to point to the room that El was in because she was the one that needed him more than we did. He walked towards the door and I grabbed Mike's hand and dragged him outside. There was my mom.

"Mom!" I yelled.

I let go of his hand and ran to my mom's arms. This is just what I need.

"Oh, Will. It's okay I'm here" she whispers.

Johnathan had joined in on the hug. Reunited once again. I opened my eyes to see snow? Not snow ash?

Then that feeling... I pulled out of the hug and slowly turned around. My neck... Then El walked towards the field. The color was gone and there was smoke everywhere. It was like life was being sucked right out of the flowers. 

So much for reunions... 

House Meeting...

"So you're telling me that this Vecna monster is the one in charge of all of this. All these mon-monsters" Joyce said as she looked at Hopper.

"The Russians had more to do with this than we think, while there when we escaped we saw them. The mind flayer that was inside Will. Every monster we have dealt with." Hopper said.

They all continued to share information. All words started to muffle out, like a whisper. 

"Will~" a voice whispered it sounded so close.

"Will"

There it was again. Then, someone touched my shoulder. It snapped me back into reality. It was El.

"Are okay?" she whispered.

"Yeah, I just zoned out that's all" I whispered back.

I took a deep breath and whipped my hands on my pants. I headed to the kitchen for some water. I looked out the window as I drank. I closed my eyes as I drank the water, taking it all in. Once I opened them, I was back there.

The upsidedown

"Will"

It was that voice again. I dropped the glass out of fear. I looked down at the shattered glass and then around until I laid eyes on the window. 

"Will"

There he was. Vecna... He was in the reflection, looking right at me. He was burnt. 

"Will," he said again.

I take a step back and end up stepping on the glass. I look down and then look back up. I was back. Everything looked normal, I start to look all around again making sure I was really back.

" Will?! Are you okay?" 

It was Nancy. She was at the doorframe.

" I heard the glass, and I just wanted to check on you"

She went over to get the broom and came over to me.

" Yeah, I'm okay... just weird being back here again you know?"

She started to clean the glass.

"I'm sorry for the glass, I- I didn't mean to"

"Will it's okay. It happens," she said.

She throws the glass away. 

"You know if you need to talk we are all here for you right?" she says as she places her hand on my shoulder.

I looked down at where the glass was then back to her not daring to make eye contact.

"I know, thanks Nancy"

We both headed back to the living room. I sat back down next to El. Took a deep breath through my nose. I engaged in the conversation or at least tried to. No one really listens unless you yell.

"Guys, I think all we need to do is to focus. Will said he can feel still feel him that means he is still alive right Will?" Mike said as he stands up.

" Yeah... he is still out there he's just hurt," I said.

"That explains to the nobody after he fell out the window, he got away and is hiding" Steve explained.

"Yeah, no shit sherlock," Robin said as she hit his head.

After the little house meeting, I was exhausted. I ended up staying the night in Mike's basement. It was dark, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. It took a while but it happened. 

Nothingness. 

Darkness.

Chapter Text

The floor was covered in water. It was still but a movement it would vibrate, letting whatever was here know I was here...

I looked all around but I was just greeted with nothing. It felt like a black hole.

"Will...'

A voice...

His voice.

I started to frantically search, but I didn't see him. Nothing anywhere but then I see him. Standing far away.

" It's time Will, It is time for you to join me." 

I stumble backward almost falling but something stops me. My body knows exactly what it is but still, I slowly tilt my head up.

"Be careful William, we wouldn't want you to get hurt, now would we?"

I can just feel my face turning white. I gulp as I slowly look down at my feet. Tears start falling down my cheek.

"No..." I croaked out.

Venca slowly helps me up.

"What's wrong, scared?"

He whips away a tear. The feeling of being with him is just unsetting. My breathing starts to quiver. Then, I can't seem to breathe at all.

"There is no need to be scared. I am doing this for the greater good. We humans do not deserve this world. That is why we are going to change this world. We are always repeating our actions, no one is different. Everyone is the same... but us. You're just like me."

Like you? 

"I'm- I am nothing like you," I say as I push him away from me and make a break for it.

He doesn't move, he just stands there. 

"Oh, William you will see. You will see very soon"

I jump up, sweating, trying to catch my breath but I still can't breathe.  I had forgotten how to breathe. My heart was just pounding in my ears. As I continued to breathe, every breath just became sharper. I was getting desperate for some air, I needed it. The sounds of the wood creaking from what was going on from upstairs just seemed to echo. Why!? Why did it have to be me to wake up from these nightmares, ever since I got out of there I'm always back when I close my eyes. The number of times that I have woken up screaming, crying, or just forgotten how to breathe. They were always different, but all the same.

"Will, honey Mrs.Wheeler made some pancakes," my mom said as she walked toward me.

I look at her with tears just falling down my cheeks.

" I can't breathe mom" I manage to cry out gasping at every word to try and take a breath.

She quickly ran to me, grabbing my hands.

"Okay, Will listen to me. Focus on my voice" 

I nod.

"Repeat after me. In.two.three.four. Out.two.three.four. Just focus on that and just that."

In.two.three.four. Out.two.three.four.

" You got it, Will! You're not there, you're here with me and your friends. "

Would your best friends forget your birthday?

She rubbed and squished my hands. Reassuring me that she was here for me. After, a couple of mins my breathing became stable. My mom pulled me into a hug and I just broke down there in her hands. These types of hugs are what I need. They feel real and not out of pity. When I hug my mom I know she won't judge me for whatever happens, whether I broke down sobbing or just yell in her chest. I know they are real because they have got that feeling, you can feel it deep down. 

This wasn't a dream it was a nightmare.

A nightmare that felt all too real... 

Chapter Text

Spy.

A person secretly collects and reports information on an enemy or competitor's activities, movements, and plans.

Her.

She is my enemy. I gave her the chance to help me fix this world, to make it better. This hadn't gone the way I had intended, but when you get pushed down, dust yourself off, and then go again even harder. I did just that. I'm taking down Hawkins first after I make sure

every.

single. 

one.

of.

them.

are dead.

I will stop at nothing to make her suffer, I will make her watch them die right before her eyes. Who knows it could be me or him killing them. I'm making sure they all die but him. I'm taking him with me.

My mole. My spy. My puppet. He's my other half you could say. He is the key to taking this whole thing to the next level only they don't know that.  He knows that he is mine. 

All mine. My Will.

Chapter Text

 *Wills POV*

I convinced her it was just a stupid nightmare.

Mom told me to take a shower. She said that it would help calm me down. I picked some clothes out, the little I had packed when running away from the house. I turn on the shower. 

I looked at the water and then placed my hand on the handle again and turned it. The stream started to show and I stopped it wasn't warm but it wasn't too hot.

 He likes it cold.

I looked into the mirror, it slowly fogged up. I hop into the shower and just stand there, it feels relaxing. The water was just running down on me from head to toe. I tilt my head up and move my hair back and inhale. I look at the shower handle again, tempted to do it. If I turn it to cold would he show up?  I stared at it and inched my hand to turn the handle to...

turn it off.

I can't do it, I don't want to see him. I take a deep breath and clean myself up.  My hair is a little bit wet and messy but what was the point of fixing it, it's fine.  I exit the bathroom and head up the stairs, there I was standing in front of the door. I hesitate. I take another deep breath and just open the door, everyone is around the table eating pancakes. Well, everyone but Dustin, Lucas, Steve, and Robin I believe her name was. 

"Honey!? Do you want pancakes?" Mom said

" Not hungry loss of appetite. Thanks though" I respond

She looks at me with sadness. She's been through enough, everyone has.

 I inch for the door, I want to get out of here. I need to think, I need to figure it why this is happening. I head out the door, no one would really notice, to be honest, they are all caught up in their own thing.I just walked, I knew my way around here. I have known Mike my whole life, so I knew the ins and outs of this neighborhood. I l ook around there are people running in and out of their houses with boxes. Everyone is scared, no one wants to be the hero and I see no shame in that especially if they caused whatever was going on here. Unlike them, I can't run away. It always seems to find me, it always has to come back and haunt me. Sometimes I wished I did die that day. 

Why couldn't I just die and save everyone the suffering?  

No one likes me, the truth is I don't even like myself. You would think after coming back from hell and being under the control of a monster that people would care for you. I was forced to follow orders against my own will and I killed those people, it was my fault that Bob died. It was my fault that my mom would wake up screaming his name, he really loved him. She was finally happy and I took that away. Hopper makes her happy and I almost took that away again...

They all just baby me. Once they see or think that "it doesn't affect" you anymore they kick you to the curve.   They all grew up, while I was stuck, tortured. All that trauma made me just get stuck and made me want to stay a kid because they were the best times. I couldn't force them to play with me, they weren't kids anymore like they said we weren't going to be stuck in a basement for the rest of our lives playing DnD. They grew up and so have I.  I don't have time for the games anymore. Then, why? Why? Why did I wait for a call or even a letter from Mike better yet any of them? I care so much for them and they don't seem to care as much as I do. I know that, I've known that since that summer...

When Billy died, after going through all of that I had no one to hug for a while. I just stood there hugging myself. When my mom came, I tried hard to be strong for her after all she just went through... time sure flies by.

And yet here I am. Back to Square One. 

One. 

It's like those stories, a once peaceful town turned into a hell hole in a matter of months.  I always think that maybe if I stayed dead that none of this would have happened. But I was only searching for a way of this. All of these unanswered questions, I have been searching for answers for years now. I will find them soon enough. I will do whatever it takes. 

 A kid running with tears in his eyes runs straight into me. Taking me out of my train of thought

"Woah, are you okay?"

He looks up at me, his eyes are puffy and his nose is runny. Tears are streaming down his cheeks. Through his sniffles, he tells me he doesn't want to leave his house. I get down on a knee and look him in the eyes. I put a hand on his head, softly.

"Why don't you want to leave?" I say

"Because all of my friends are here and it's all I've known"

I smile. 

"I see, the same thing happened to me"

He looks at me, curious. 

" I used to live in Hawkins and things happened and my family moved away from here. It was for a good reason and your parents have a good reason of wanting to leave here"

"But my friends"

"You guys can always write letters or call each other. That's what I did"

"Your friends didn't forget about you?"

"No, silly" I laugh

They did.

"Charlie!" I hear another voice.

"There you are, Charlie!" a woman comes running towards him and gives him a hug.

"Mommy, this man says that we are moving for a good reason and that my friends won't forget about me if we move, Is that true?"

"This young man is right" She smiles at me and mouths thank you. I smile.

" Well, let's go!! I can't wait to write to them and tell them how awesome it is wherever we are going" he says as he drags her.

I wave goodbye. Enough running away, I'm searching for these answers, these connections. 

Chapter Text

*Joyce POV*

He skipped breakfast today. He usually never skips breakfast, the nightmare must have been horrible. I wish he could talk to me as he did, but I can't force him to do it. I sigh, and Alice put her hand and my back and gives me a 'are you okay' look. I smile. I take a deep breath.

"If I could have a minute of your time, I would like to say something..."

Everyone looks at me.

" I think I can speak for everyone when I say the past couple of weeks have been crazy, and I think we need some happiness, it was Will's birthday on March 22nd and I didn't get to do anything with him..."

Mike and El share a look.

"I want to do something special to make up for it, will you all help me?"

In the end, we began planning. We had to head to the only store that was open, to get something literally anything to make it worth it.  Alice said she had decorations and such but if we couldn't find a cake she would make one.

*Mikes POV*

"it was Will's birthday on March 22nd and I didn't get to do anything with him..."

El looks at me in disappointment.

Oh.

oh

*El's POV*

"it was Will's birthday on March 22nd and I didn't get to do anything with him..."

What have I done... I made his day, my day. I'm such a horrible sister. Why didn't Mike say anything? 

We finished eating breakfast and I took Mike's hand and went outside.

"Did you know?" I say

"Know what?" 

What an idiot.

"About Will? Did you know it was his birthday?"

Mike looks at me.

"He should have said something, El. I'm not responsible for him not talking, it's not my fault"

"Oh, of course, Mike it's never your fault. How could you say that about him? He's been there since day one and forget him the second he moves away, you don't even know who he is anymore do you?"

"Of course, I know who Will is I've known him longer than you. I know my best friend."

" That's just it, Mike. Listen to yourself. You don't know him anymore. If you really did you would know about the painting, in those letters anytime I mentioned him you never even thought of him, did you? You never called."

"You're my girlfriend El. He should have called more!"

"Not anymore, there is no us anymore."

"Is this really about him? Over this? You're joking"

"No, it's not just about him Mike. It's about everything, you don't love me you love that am I your superhero and how it makes you feel special."

" That's not true, I do love you 've said it."

"No you don't Mike, you don't show love to anyone. You make everything about yourself. You only said that because I needed it because I am your superhero. I'm the one who protects and without me, you are just Mike. You don't even read my letters."

" I did! If you bring up the from Mike-"

"That's not what I meant Mike. The painting! You would know all you needed to know if you actually read them."

I left without saying another word, I was done with him. 

*Mikes POV*

She broke up with me...

again.

The painting, she commissioned the painting Will said so. I ran up to my room and searched. Where is it? Where the fuck is it? 

I found it. 

"Will's painting a lot, but he won't show me what he's painting, maybe it is for a girl, I think there is someone he likes because he is acting weird."

fuck...

What have I done? I ruined not one but two relationships. The painting, that painting Will made for me. Where is it? I continued to stumble through my stuff. I found it and opened it, I really loved it. He was always thinking of me, but he could have called. I spent so much time waiting for him to answer me, every time I called his phone was busy. Over the year, I just began to forget him he never wanted to talk and I didn't want to talk either. Tears started to form. I focused on those people who were there for me like El. She was the one who saved me from the bullies not Will. She was my light and she always will be, why can't I just tell her I love her? I just can't express myself to her, like I can with others. Shes my- she was my girlfriend, I'm supposed to love her. 

It's not my fault...

It is not my fault. I grew up. I couldn't just be stuck in my basement playing DnD with Will...

Stupid Will.

The tears just came down, I couldn't stop them. Why does Will have to be like this? With his hair and smile...

We are just friends. El was my girlfriend she was more important than my friends. That's just it. She was at the top of my list and they couldn't just accept that I have moved on. It's not my fault. He failed to talk. I wiped my tears and took a deep breath.

*Will's POV*

Connections...

I thought about it some more. When we came into Hawkins the four corners meet at the library. Why there? I don't think that's the middle of Hawkins its would-be town square. In the library, we get information, books, and writing. Why would Vecna get rid of that? He would have destroyed information that about the deaths he caused, he would want to be feared so he wouldn't do that without a reason.  A villain would want to be written about, it doesn't make sense. Why the library what does it have to do with the X? The connection, could it be tha-

"Will!"

A voice cutting my thoughts off. It was Lucas he was running towards me.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

" Hi, Lucas... I'm uhh walking and thinking"

" Mind if I join you?" 

"Not at all"

We continued walking, not saying a word.

"Hey Will?"

I looked at Lucas confused.

"I just wanted to say thank you for the support... with basketball. You were really the only person who agreed and supported me in it, unlike the others. Eddie thought it was trash"

I smiled but it quickly faded. Who was Eddie? Was he my replacement? 

"Who was Eddie?"

"Oh!? I thought Mike told you because he says you two talk a lot. Eddie was in charge of the DnD club we joined at the start of freshman year, Now that he is gone... there is no more Hellfire."

"Hellfire?"

"Mike said he told you? It's the name of the party.."

My heart sank when he said that. . Lucas notices my silence.

"He never told you did he?"

I nod my head no in response. 

 Mike, promised he wouldn't join another party. He lied. Why am I surprised, I should have known, any promise that comes out of his mouth was just empty.  I really actually thought he would keep it, I thought wrong. I'm so stupid, to think they would fucking care. They said it was for kids and it wasn't their jam anymore because they had girlfriends. All I ever wanted to do was to play one game for old-time sake, was it too much to ask?  All that time was put in for it to be taken as a joke. By him. That fight we had in his garage, was different, we never fought like that, but now... in the short time we have been together we fought like that. Sure, he said we were going to be best friends again, but after all this, it would be the same...

"Will are you okay"

No. I haven't been "Okay" since that night.  I haven't been that little boy, since then. No one has been okay, everyone's got their own trauma from these events. Their feelings matter more because it's my fault they are going through this. All of that pain is because of me. That's why I put them before me because I feel guilty, no matter how much I am there it's never enough.

"Uhhh"

"You know you can tell me"

"I know Lucas, everyone's been saying that.."

maybe this once... it won't make me selfish right?

We sit on the edge of the sidewalk. Lucas places his hand on my shoulder. 

"I guess I just feel... like this is... all of this is my fault you know? Maybe if I just disappeared that night..."

I paused, I couldn't dare to look my friend in the eyes. 

" Maybe, just maybe Billy would be alive because the shadow monster would have me but when they took it out of me, it went for Billy. If that didn't happen, Max would be here and you would be smiling right now Lucas. "

"Will... it's not your fault it's Vencas fault and when we get rid of him and his connections he won't hurt anyone again and then I'll be happy"

Connections... That's it! The hosts! The hosts...

" I'm sorry you think that way Will. I'm glad you shared how you felt with me you have been keeping yourself closed away from me and everyone else and just focusing on everyone else but yourself. You're the most selfless person I know Will." 

You say selfless and I say selfish.

I couldn't share anymore. All I can do was smile.

 We just sat there.

" I know, I've already said this but I'm proud that you finally got to play in your basketball game. I'm sorry I wasn't there cheering for you"

"Thanks, Will. That means a lot coming from you. Mike and Dustin didn't even bother to show up because they had this campaign that was way more important, they couldn't cancel it or whatever and just replaced me with Erica."

I know how that feels.

" I don't know much about this Hellfire club but it seems cool. A lot cooler than our party."

"It's not the same without you, Will the Wise. I'm sorry  I didn't want to play with you that summer. Did you ever join another party?

" It's fine. No, I just couldn't. Sure I got tons of offers but I said no."

"Oh. Well maybe we could play again just the OG part just like old times"

" I would really like that Lucas.."

"Cool..."

Lucas smiles. We talked and caught up with each other. He told me more about Max. Why he joined basketball, and Jason, Eddie, and the other people he met. He also told me more about the victims, the information he knew, and how they talked to Steve and the gang. I told him about California, school, paintings, the trip here, and just the people there. He listened to me just ramble on and on holding eye contact. Lucas was a great friend, one of my best ones.  We started to walk back to Mike's house. We bonded the whole way but as soon as we reached Mike's front door my smile fades. I really enjoyed talking to Lucas, if only we could do some more. I opened the door and I just sensed something was wrong. No one was there, getting supplies maybe?  If no one was here then why do I have this feeling something bad is here? I continue to walk around.

This voice that wasn't Lucas's but one in my head says Someone is here.

"I think someone is here" I whisper.

Chapter Text

Lucas took the left I took the right and headed into the kitchen. I kept my guard up, the kitchen looked messy. Blood? Blood. Where did that even come from then I feel a presence behind me? I don't know but I throw a knife at them with my powers but I stopped right in front of his face. Doctor...

" I see you've been practicing, Will," he says giving me a half smile but holding his side.

"Oh fuck, let me help," I say panicking and grabbing the knife and placing it on the counter. "Lucus!"

Lucas runs over " Are you okay?!"  and he looks at the doctor and runs to help me.

We patch up his side, it was just a starch like actually. The blood wasn't his he says. Owens explains how he escaped from the government. I lead against the counter just listening, noting everything to myself, while Lucas gets something for him to eat. 

" They want to kill Eleven, Will. They think that she is behind all of this. I tried- I really tried to compromise." 

"But she isn't behind this!"

" I know that but they don't believe that, the people are scared and they are looking for someone to blame. They are going to try and get her out with her Papa's funeral..."

"She can't go to that, we have to trick them don't we?" I say.

"Bingo."

I sigh and I start to think. I could go maybe lead them away but who knows what they would do, El didn't do any of this.   Without thinking I just say...

"I'll do it, I will go to that funeral in order to send the message that El isn't here." 

"Will, no you can't go," Lucas says.

"I have to go, she's my sister and I can't just let her get kidnapped and killed Lucas. She is the superhero she is the one we need for Vecna and without her how will we kill him," "Plus what's the worst thing that could happen"

" A lo-"

The door opens and everyone is there. I take a deep breath and walk up to them and say " I found someone or well he found us."

Chapter Text

" Will you can't go to this funeral without me?" El says. " They will kill you"

" El, they will kill you and we need you," I say back " I'm more willing to die if that means they don't get you." 

"No! You just can't, I have so much to make up for like-"

"It's finally, I am going to this funeral whether you like it or not El. I don't care I am getting that message across that you didn't do it one way or another." 

" You are not going alone that's for sure," My mom says.

" Just promise me one thing..."

"What's that?"

" That you come back in one piece."

She holds out her pinky and I smile and hold mine out.  

" I pinky promise you"

Promise.

We came up with a plan, it was just going to be a normal funeral. We would act normal because they wouldn't want to make a scene. If anything were to go wrong, I would signal and the backup would come. 

"Okay now that we are done with this Will, We have a surprise for you!" mom says.

I look at her confused. She puts a blindfold on. 

"Nope, stop it, mom. I am okay I don't need anything right now. We need to focus."

She lead me down some stairs and took off the blindfold. It was dark and then light. 

"Happy Late Birthday Will!" El says.

I look around the party is there, steve and robin. Everyone. 

" I think I'm okay being forgotten... We have better things to worry about, you got that message across."  as I glance at Mike.

fuck. I didn't mean for that to come out.

Mom ignores me and pushes me down the steps.  She leads me to a table with a small cake with candles. She sits me down and places a birthday hat on.  I am not in the mood for this, it would have been so much better if it actually happened on my birthday. My actual birthday. I can't ruin this for my mom, so I fake it. Fake it till you make it. They start singing Happy Birthday.

" Happy Birthday to you~ 

Happy Birthday to you~

Happy Birthday, Dear William.~"

"Happy Birthday my dear friend." 

Venca. I blind to get rid of him and it works for a second but the two worlds flicker. One is happy and colorful while the other is dull. 

" Blow out your candles," my mom says.

"What she says, blow them out. Happy Birthday, friend."

I gulp and take a deep breath and look at Venca as I blow them out and he smiles, then he disappears. They clap which refocuses my attention. I smile awkwardly and slowly get up. I get they are trying to make me feel better but this isn't cutting it, if it wasn't the end of the world then it would but it is the end of the world. We have better things to do. If I left then it would crush them, so I sit on the couch. I take off the birthday hat, mom put on me and place it on my lap.  Its all fake.

"How are you doing?" Johnathan says as he sits next to me.

I take a deep breath in response. 

" She's trying to make up for it, you know?"

I nod.

"Do you want to play some dnd?"

" No. I would much rather watch, I have clearly missed a lot, Johnathan. "  I say as I get up and head towards the party and they are playing DnD. The memories hit me again and I can't help but smile.

I just watch, Erica is playing with them. 

"Boom! Just got beat by a child"

"Watch this Will."

Suddenly I am in the school and I am watching Mike, Dustin, Erica, and some other people pay DnD.  

"And they call this chant... Hail Lord Vecna..."

He continues... something about missing his left arm and eye. Then they all freak out.

"Vecna is dead."

"He killed my cat man."

" SO IT WAS THOUGHT, MY FRIEND! So it was thought... but Vecna lives!"

I can't help but feel this anger inside of me, why. Why would he show me this, to hurt me? I get it they don't need me anymore.

"Do you flee or do you stand and fight?"

That sentence just echos in my ears.

"Do you flee or do you stand and fight?"

"Do you flee or do you stand and fight?"

"Hello! Earth to Will! Answer me!" Mike says as he touches my shoulder.

I pull away.

"Don't touch me."

I can tell Mike wants to say something but he's holding his tongue. 

"If you have something to say just say it. There's no need to hide it from me like everything else Micheal."

"Woah, Will what are you talking about?"

I laugh a bit and raise my voice.

"You know exactly what I am talking about Micheal."

I get up to leave but mom stops me. 

"Will you can go yet we haven't even cut your cake."

"Mom! I don't want this! I didn't want any of this okay? Party is over I don't care anymore. It's not even my birthday, everyone forgot about it. I see no point in celebrating it, all of you just want to feel less guilty about it, okay? If that's it then I forgive it whatever helps you sleep at night. I am leaving." 

"Will you can't say that. We are trying to make-"

I turn around and cut him off.

" I don't want to hear anything from your mouth, Micheal." 

"We are just trying to make you feel not forgotten like you said," El said.

" Thank you I guess but I don't need it anymore. Where was this on my real birthday? Nowhere, it was your day and I didn't want to ruin it, no one like to hear what I have to say anyways because I am a child who got their childhood taken away by some monsters." 

" Will, what hell!? Why are you like this?" Mike says 

" You make everything about yourself, when we got to El you didn't even say are you okay? I DID! You were all like I am here, I'm here El. You can't even say I love you! When you did you recycled  my whole speech in the car that was meant for you"

More screaming happened between me and everyone, which I can't seem to remember because something had come over me. I was so angry and it just took over. 

The fucking party was over.

I ran up the stairs and Mike ran after me. 

" Will! Come here" Mike grabs my arm.

I pull away once away. 

Back at it again. In the Garage...

" You can't go out in the rain Will!"

"Oh, I can and I will Mike. I did it the last time and I can do it again."

"No, you are not leaving. Not until you explain the fuck happened out there."

"Why do I have to explain myself to a lair."

" I am NOT a lair."

"Oh yes, you are Mike."

"Will hit me with it. We are supposed to be best friends"

" Mike if we were best friends like you had said then you would have called. We would go DAYS without a meaningful conversation, and I would miss you so much during those days but it seems like you never missed me."

Tears started to fall and we had a couple back and forth. Fighting. I am not sure, it was a blurry night. 

 But, I remember this.

"No Mike, you don't care for me. You don't even love El. The only reason you were together is that she was the first girl that didn't run away from you."

"That's not true, I love her for her!"

We had more screaming matches. I suddenly had enough of his bullshit and walked out and he continued to be a fly that you couldn't get rid of.  I just continued walking ignoring him, but then I stopped. A sudden pain hit me, like a jab. Then it just went everywhere else. 

It hurts so bad. I couldn't feel anything, it was all taken over by the fire. I fall to the ground and cry in pain.

"IT HURTS!" 

"Happy Birthday my friend. It was a gift from your friends, they had given it to me that night."

"Where does it hurt Will?"

"EVERYWHERE"

Mike started screaming for help. I continued to scream in pain.

"IT BURNS! MAKE IT STOP PLEASE!"

Chapter Text

*Mikes POV*

We went to the store. It was just the four of us my mom, will’s mom, El, and me. The store was practically empty everyone had gotten supplies and left. What did we expect, so we had to improvise, trying to make the best of it. After that the car ride was silent. I opened the door to be greeted with a-

“ I found someone or he found us”

If I am honest I thought he died because he was nowhere to be seen and El never mentioned him. There was blood on the counter and on the floor. It wasn’t much I have seen much more… I started to clean the blood. I shake my head and grab another cloth to clean up the blood. 

“ El, I can do it. I owe you this, they have got to believe that you weren’t apart of this.”

They went back and forth. El staying that he couldn’t go and get himself killed and Will said that she couldn’t die because we needed her.

“ Will, no. I am going.” El says.

“Oh, no you aren’t El. Look I get that he is your dad but come on don’t you see it is a trap…” Will says shooting back at her.

“ Well I have my powers to protect me, you don’t” El explains.

“ Well, you just got them back. Those powers of yours are what we need to protect everyone in Hawkins and if your dead what good does it do?” Will says slightly raising his voice.

I get down and continue to clean up the blood. 

“Here let me help you,” Lucas says.

I nod. I continue to listen in.

“ Look El, it’s a trap and you can’t go. They want you dead for crimes that you didn’t do.” Will takes a deep breath in.

“ I get that you are worried about me but I can handle myself. If I can survive the upside down then I can handle this. Plus I know how to use a gun, simple really.”

El doesn’t say anything. Back before the whole Billy thing when I first met her she was full of guilt because she caused all of Will’s trauma. I felt bad and tried to tell her that it was okay and an accident. Will doesn’t seem to be afraid of her even after everything that's happened.  

" Will you can't go to this funeral without me?" El says. " They will kill you"

" El, they will kill you and we need you," I say back " I'm more willing to die if that means they don't get you." 

"No! You just can't, I have so much to make up for like-" El says as her voice cracks.

"It's finally, I am going to this funeral whether you like it or not El. I don't care I am getting that message across that you didn't do it one way or another." 

" You are not going alone that's for sure," My mom says.

" Just promise me one thing..." El says her voice was quieter than before. 

"What's that?" Will says

 " That you come back in one piece," El says in return. 

I'm not sure how much time went past before Joyce said


"Okay now that we are done with this Will, we have a surprise for you!" 

Will looks at her confused. She puts a blindfold on him and pushes him toward the basement. It's cute how he just knows his way around my house, he knew where the table was and just didn't run into anything. Lucas and Dustin don't really know where anything is, well Dustin knows where Nancy's room is because he had the fattest crush on her...

"Nope, stop it, mom. I am okay I don't need anything right now. We need to focus." He says.

I run down the basement before him and join the others. 

"Happy Late Birthday Will!" El says.

He looks around and I can tell he is just uncomfortable.

He cracks a smile and chuckles.

" I think I'm okay being forgotten... We have better things to worry about, you got that message across."  

He glances over at me and I smile. His face is filled with regret. I frown. Why? Why am I showing emotion, is it because I feel guilty for not remembering my own best friend's birthday? Will...

Will, was one of my first friends. The only one who wanted to sit next to me and this is how I repaid him, ignoring his feelings and hurting him...

what have I done?

If we were to look back at my middle school self, the Mike who was searching for Will...

Will was the most important person in my life at that time. He would be disappointed in me...

 Joyce leads Will to a table with a small cake with candles. She sits him down and places a birthday hat on him. We start singing Happy Birthday.

" Happy Birthday to you~ 

Happy Birthday to you~

Happy Birthday, Dear William.~"

" Blow out your candles," Joyce says happily. 

He blows them out. Then the party began. We had all kinds of things dNd, music, some food, karaoke, little art station. I sat with Erica, Lucas, and Dustin and we played dNd. I watched Will from the corner of my eye, Johnathan ended up sitting next to him and talking to him. Will looks at him and then back toward me, we make eye contact and just look at each other. Will says a few words to him and then turns to him and then back at me.

"BOOM JUST GOT BEAT BY A CHILD!"

Erica's celebration knocked me back into the game. Erica was yelling about Dustin's campaign and how it was crappy. He tried to defeat himself but in the end, gave up because what was the point of fighting? I see that the game is done and I stand up and head toward Will, who is zoned the fuck out. 

"Hello! Earth to Will! Answer me!" Mike says as he touches my shoulder.

He pulls away.

away from me...

"Don't touch me."

Oh.

oh

I want to say sorry but I don't. 

"If you have something to say just say it. There's no need to hide it from me like everything else Micheal."

"Woah, Will what are you talking about?"

He laughs a bit 

"You know exactly what I am talking about Micheal."

He gets up to leave but his mom stops him. 

"Will you can't go yet we haven't even cut your cake."

"Mom! I don't want this! I didn't want any of this okay? Party is over I don't care anymore. It's not even my birthday, everyone forgot about it. I see no point in celebrating it, all of you just want to feel less guilty about it, okay? If that's it then I forgive it whatever helps you sleep at night. I am leaving." 

"Will you can't say that. We are trying to make-"

He turns around and cuts me off.

" I don't want to hear anything from your mouth, Micheal." 

"We are just trying to make you feel not forgotten like you said," El said.

" Thank you I guess but I don't need it anymore. Where was this on my real birthday? Nowhere, it was your day and I didn't want to ruin it, no one likes to hear what I have to say anyways because I am a child who got their childhood taken away by some monsters." 

" Will, what hell!? Why are you like this?" I say, it just came out.

" You make everything about yourself, when we got to El you didn't even say are you okay? I DID! You were all like I am here, I'm here El. You can't even say I love you! When you did you recycled  my whole speech in the car that was meant for you"

For me? It was meant for me...

I tried to defend myself but he wasn't having it.

El looks at me and says "So... that speech you told me was all Will talking?"

"No- it was..." I say.

" Oh yes, the fuck it was Mike. You know it I know."

"Language," Hopper says.

Will takes a deep breath and looks toward him. His face filled with rage, he's never looked at someone like that. He looks at me again. 

"You promised me, Mike. You promised. Why can't you keep your promises!?" 

I just stand there. I have never seen this side of my best friend, he was always so quiet and nice. Who knew under all that anger was growing and it would soon take over him. Will, my first friend... please.

Joyce tried to calm the situation down by talking to him. 

"Don't touch me, mom!" 

"Will please-"

He went quiet for a minute.

"Why?" he says as his voice shakes, he's about to cry.

Joyce tries to pull him in for a hug but he pushes her away.

"Why... did you have to marry him? Why did you have to marry that piece of shit who put us through hell?! Why couldn't he be a good father? Like Hopper! Why did he have to be a piece of shit the only thing I learned from that bastard was how to use a gun" 

Oh Will...

Joyce didn't say anything, she couldn't.

"Will..." El says.

" El, please don't say another word or else I am going to say something that I can't take back please"

He was trying to get back into control and calm himself which seemed to work but no one has ever seen him like this.

"It's okay-"

" El please!"

" Will your my brother I love you no matter what"

"El what is love? Explain it to me..." He says

" I would really like to know what love is.  Why did you have to open that gate, I know you were like 10 but why? Why couldn't Papa stay dead and not use you as his puppet?"

Silence...

The anger was taking over again and before anyone could say another word. He ran up those stairs and slammed the door.

" What have I done?" Joyce says.

Hopper hugs her and comforts her. I turn towards the stairs and book it up those stairs, I need to talk to him.

"Mik-" 

The door shuts in their faces. 

" Will! Come here" I grab Will's arm.

He was warm. He pulls away

" You can't go out in the rain Will!" I say

"Oh, I can and I will Mike. I did it the last time and I can do it again." he yells back.

That last time. I yelled at Will, I said words that I regretted as soon as they left my mouth. His father always said horrible stuff to him and I promised myself that I would never tell him that horrible stuff. I broke that promise...

that night in the garage.

Joyce and Lonnie got along at the start of the marriage so I have heard but after Johnathan was born things changed. Then, Will came along and something just snapped in him. The two started fighting a lot about money, cheating, the kids, and anything you could think of. Will's father never talked to me a lot or Will, he would always be out of the house doing god knows what. Will always said he was taking a walk around the woods, I knew he was lying but he didn't want me to worry. He wasn't a father in Will's book he was the type to have anger control him.  He always took it out on Will or Johnathan.  That's why I helped Will build Castle Byers, to get away from anyone.

to get away from anyone

to get away from me

That night I found him in the woods and Castle Byers was gone. Will had a bat in his hands and there were papers everywhere and a ripped photo. I loved that photo...

"No, you are not leaving. Not until you explain the fuck happened out there."

"Why do I have to explain myself to a lair."

Ouch. I am sorry, I really am. 

" I am NOT a lair."

"Oh yes, you are Mike."

"Will hit me with it. We are supposed to be best friends"

" Mike if we were best friends like you had said then you would have called. We would go DAYS without a meaningful conversation, and I would miss you so much during those days but it seems like you never missed me."

He was crying. 

" Will I did I swear. I called every day and your line was always busy. I called every second I had that was free, and every second you were busy. I would get lucky if you weren't busy, I enjoyed every second of those calls but, the line was always busy and I could never get ahold of you... so I gave up because it seemed like you were ignoring me, and you were moving on with your new life. I would never forget you."

"Then, why could you not write a letter, Mike!" He yelled.

What was this? My eyes filled with sudden tears and the tears that welled in my eyes started falling down my cheeks quickly.

" Because I didn't think you needed me, Will!"

" I do need you, I have always needed you! You were always with El, you practically ditched me and treated me like Lonnie!"

We both stood there. My eyes just burned. 

" I care for you Will."

"No Mike, you don't care for me. You don't even love El. The only reason you were together is that she was the first girl that didn't run away from you."

"That's not true, I love her for her!"

"Tell me right now, did you notice me crying in that car? Tell me another thing how's Hellfire going?"

"Will, please... I only joined Hellfire because I thought you moved on and I was trying to get my mind off of you!"

" What's wrong with me Mike?! HUH!! I HAVE HEARD IT ALL!!"

"NOTHING! Nothing is wrong with you Will!'' 

We were both screaming as we sobbed. 

" Why didn't I just die in there..." he whispers as he looks down.

His stance is wobbly.

"Because I needed you and I still need you Will. You stayed alive for those you loved"

I slowly inch towards him, pulling him for a hug. He tries to push me away but I don't let him go. I can't. He stands there and cries into my shoulder.

"Please... ge-get-get awa-away" he cries into my shoulder.

I loosen my hands and he pushes away again. This time he gets away. 

He walks out and I follow him, I can't lose him again. He suddenly stops and drops to the ground. 

"IT HURTS!" He screams

"Where does it hurt Will!?" I say as I rush to his side and grab his head but he pulls away

"EVERYWHERE"

no... not again

I scream for help. 

" Joyce, Nancy, ANYONE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!"

"IT BURNS! MAKE IT STOP PLEASE!" Will screams.

" No, no, no... its okay Will please don't leave me. Not again."

"PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!" Will screams as he moves violently.

Joyce is freaking out, Nancy pulls me into a hug. I can't help but look away from his face and hear those screams not again...

"Turn on the bath, COLD water!" Johnathan screams.

Lucas runs to the bathroom and turns on the water. 

"Nancy I need you to get some ice cubes," Joyce says. 

She cuts the hug short and runs to the fridge. 

"OW! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SET HIM ON FIRE!!"  Will screams.

Steve looks at him and pure fear is written all over his face.

" IT HURTS SO MUCH!! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP" He screams again.

Hooper carries him to the bathroom and Nancy throws the ice cubes in the bath. I rush to the bathroom, I need to know he's going to be alright. Hopper places him in the bath, and Will slowly becomes calmer when he put him in the water. Steam and you could hear a sizzle. Joyce keep the water going, it was extremely cold. Will's energy goes down quickly, his eyes get heavier until he passed out. Owens said he passed out, fainted if you will. 

I sat on the floor next to Will with my head against the wall. I am not leaving him, I can't...

not again.

Chapter Text

I was in pain...

Pain.

What is pain, according to the dictionary it means "physical suffering or discomfort caused by illness or injury".

No matter how I describe it, everyone just acts like they understand how it felt... all around me, all on me. They really don't not unless they have gone through the same pain. Last I check they haven't had this connection with him, not this deep connection. 

"IT HURTS!" I scream

"Where does it hurt Will!?" Mikes say as he rushes to my side and grabs my head but I pull away

"EVERYWHERE" I scream.

The rain just hits my face and blurs my vision. I could see a figure, just looking back at me. So close, he kneels down and lifts up my chin. It's him. The screaming is muffled, all I can hear is the rain hitting the floor. Now, I would be enjoying the rain if I weren't burning alive. No, I am on the floor screaming in pain. 

"IT BURNS!! MAKE IT STOP PLEASE!!"

" Joyce, Nancy, ANYONE!!! PLEASE HELP!!!"

Next thing I know, I am being carried inside by Hopper. My mom is freaking out, I continue to scream out in pain.  

"Turn on the bath, COLD water!" Johnathan screams.

he likes it cold. Anything to get rid of this pain, it worked when I was screaming in pain before it has to work right now. It must. 

'You know this wouldn't have happened if your friends didn't do this to me, Will. It hurts me to do this to you... it really does but I am sending a message. They don't have what we've got"

"OW! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SET HIM ON FIRE!! IT HURTS SO MUCH!! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP" I scream again.

I was relieved when I was put into the water, but I just felt weak. My eyes just get heavier by the second and I just give up and let it happen.

It's muffled... I'm underwater. 

drowning?

I was once a happy boy, playing and joking around with my friends, as someone would do. That day... I fell through the upsidedown. I did everything I could to try and get back but it was always chasing me. I couldn't make a sound. My body felt heavy, that day when he brought me to the library and did what he did. I would scream for help but soon I was unable to scream. I drifted off into an ocean, I just felt like I was underwater. In there, my body felt light, and I slowly sank to the ground. The light grew weak and my arm calling for help also grew weak. I didn't fight anymore, I was fully prepared to die that day until Hopper and Joyce pulled me up. I was meant to die, Hopper saved my life that day. They both saved me from drowning in that ocean where I now once again stuck in. 

Only this time, I am like a fish in it's bowl going around in circles seeing the same thing every second of every day.

pitch black

I can't leave it, I am stuck. Trapped. The only light source was at the top of the whatever i was in. A box? I slam my hand against the glass but it just won’t break. 

*bang bang bang*

My hand just kept going against the glass and it just wasn’t working. 

“It’s fine. You’re fine”

I put my hands against my ears and just scream.

”GET OUT OF MY HEAD”

Not a good idea to do underwater. Air was cut off. I close my eyes and shake my head and scream again hoping to be done with this nightmare. Cracks…

A large crack appeared on the glass, slowly spearing until…

I was free, I gasp for air. Coughing up the water that had entered my system. Slightly smiling that I was now free.

“Well done,William.”

My celebration cut short. 

“All I want is one day, one fucking day without you on my ass. Without you being with me. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!” I say as I look up. 
There was light but not as much. It looks exactly how my dream. Well nightmare… the only difference was that the glass on the ground. I stand up, and I look him in the eye. I walk towards him stepping on the glass. With every step I take, there is a crunch.

“What are you going to do? Kill me?! Just like all of the other innocent people?! Fucking do it!” I say until I am facing him. 

“I’m not going to kill you Will. No,no,no. You and I are the same. We are friends and friends don’t betray each other.”

”We are not friends. Friends don’t put each other through the things you put me through. I replay those moments in my head over and over and over again. Everyday of every night because of you.”

”Because of me?!” 

He lets out a laugh

”That gate wasn’t my doing. It was Elevens. I look like this because of her and your friends. “

I smile and laugh at me.

“I’m really getting screwed over here. The deal was that if we kill the mindflayer then we were done. But, no we are never going to be done. I am back here to square one. The mole…”

”I knew you were the right person.”

My smile quickly fades. Then, I just hear a ringing. I put my hands on my ears, what the hell is going on.

Black.

Darkness.

Loneliness. 

Chapter Text

*El's POV*

What is love? 

I have heard this word so many times but really what is it? Joyce would always tell me that Hooper loved me, she said it was an intense feeling of deep affection. 

"You feel it for people you care about like Mike."

 

 

I want to know what is going on with Will. It's been too long, far too long. I need to see what's going on, I have to help him. There I sat in the middle of the living room.

"Dude, I hope-"

"Quiet Dustin" 

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

There I stood in the void, but there was no boy to be seen. 

"WILL!" 

no answer.

"WILL, ITS EL"

nothing. 

Why can't I reach him, something is blocking me. 

I opened my eyes and whipped my nose. 

" I need to go to the source, I can't find him. "

I rushed to the bathroom door.

"El?" Mike says confused.

I push him away and grab Will's hand. It was cold.  Again I take a deep breath taking a different must stronger approach.

The void again but this time I am getting a different energy. I am still getting blocked but it's weaker. 

"WILL! I AM HERE, IT'S EL!"

Then I hear ringing and clap my hands to my ears. I scream. Then the sound stops.

I wasn't in the void anymore. It was just dark...

"Get out of here, El"

"Will! WHERE ARE YOU?"

"Right behind you?"

I slowly turn and there is Will. He tilts his head slightly to left and I go flying.

" You did this to me!"

This isn't Will. This isn't my Will. He puts his hands behind his back like Henry used to do. Slowly his body starts to take shape, to his burnt-up shape. He's weak just like Will said. He is weak but even angrier which makes him all the more stronger and dangerous.

" So we are on the same page here, I fully... FULLY intend to kill Eleven. I want to make you suffer first just as you and your friends have done to me."

"Where's Will? What did you do with him!" I say.

" Oh, Will. We were having a chat before this. He told me to kill him, he's tired Eleven. He is tired of everything you put him through, all of this is your fault and I hope you realize that your actions have consequences." 

He smiles and laughs.

" I am going to kill you"

"Oh"

" And I am going to enjoy every second of it Henry. My friends and I- We will fix it-"

"NO, WE CAN FIX IT!! IF YOU'VE ALREADY TRIED AND FAILED ONCE, YOU WILL FAIL AGAIN!" he yells

" and so will he..."

I gasp. I open my eyes and whip the blood again and look at Will.

"El?! What happened?" Mike says.

" Will, I have to help him," I say.

I look at Will in the face, his eyes are moving like crazy as if he trying to do something.

"Can't you just find him?" Dustin says.

" I can't! Something is blocking me" I yell.

Will starts moving his head now, just slight movement left and right as if he has a bad dream. Then he stops. Mike moves me out of the way and touches his head, he slowly pushes Will underwater so now his whole body is now underwater.

" What are you doing?" I say

" Im making sure gets what he wants. He likes it cold!" Mike yells. 

Will starts to move again, but this time it's not sightly, rougher. Mike pulls him up. 

"IT'S NOT WORKING!" 

"WHERE'S JOYCE!" Dustin says as he runs out of the room screaming her name. 

" Will!?" Mike says. "Come on fight it will!?"

All movements stop.

"GO AWAY!!" Will says as he jumps up and water gets everywhere. He gasps for air.

*Will's POV*

Where the hell am I?

It's dark, not light in sight. Only this time I am alone. Alone with myself. I take a deep breath and just close my eyes, I have got to get out of here.

"Hello?"

What? I open my eyes and it's me. Well me after the upside down, and we are in my home. My home, not the home in California... its never going to be home. No, its the home in Hawkins, and there I was with the younger me in the living room.

"What are you doing in my house?" he asks.

" I-I don't know, Will"

"How do you know my name?" he says.

" You're me, I mean... I am you from the future"

"Wait! Actually?! Tell me, are we still having fun with Mike and them?"

He smiles, with pure joy. 

"No, we are not... anymore," I say.

So I guess I am just answering his, well my questions.

"Why not?"

His smile fades.

" We just can't anymore. We don't have time for that." 

We both sit on the sofa. He frowns and then smiles.

" Well... are we still playing D&D?!" 

The way this game used to give me so much excitement, it still does but I guess I have grown up. 

" No," I say.

No matter how much I hate that answer it's true, it will never be the same. I have not played since I have moved to California, I just couldn't find the guts to play it without my friends. While they moved on and played it with others. In a way replaced me, I totally get that but no one ever mentioned it to me. That's the part that hurts, no one told me they were at a new party. 

"but why?" younger me says as he tilts his head.

I chose to think about this answer, other I tell them that everyone grew up or that they replaced us...

" because we aren't kids anymore Will"

I'm sorry

"Oh."

a few moments go by and then "What about the mind flayer are we still the spy?"

"Not by him, by it. Vecna..."

"So... we are crazy and freak still?"

Ouch. I frown, how could I hurt myself?

"Yup... crazy forever."

I force myself to crack a smile hiding the tears.

"So we are still to danger then..."

"So close Will, its as closer as it's ever been"

"Is everything going to be alright?" 

I don't say anything.

 "We are going to be okay though... right?"

are we going to be okay? 

yes?

no? 

maybe?

The lines are blurred. They disappeared a long time ago.

"Right, older me?"

" I don't know..." I manage to crack out. 

"Everything is going to be okay right," he says with more volume in his voice.

"I'm not sure anymore," I say.

"Are we at least safe?!"

"No, not ever. We are never safe." 

"Has anyone gotten hurt?"

"Yes..."

"Did we at least win the battle?"

"Not, even close Will. It's one after another and when you think you are safe then something else wants to kill you!" I say as I stand up off the sofa.

"I know."

"Wha-what do you mean you know?" I say confused.

"Because it's here... run"

"What do you mean it's-"

Everything disappears. Then, I am back there. The upside down. I can feel them, the monsters. I don't know where to go, I just run. I hear the roars, and that only makes me run faster. I have no destination, I just want to be anywhere but with them. 

'Then one day the nightmares suddenly stopped... you want to know how?'

'how?'

'Well I fell asleep and just like always Mr.Baldo come to me'

' But this time, I didn't run, this time I stood my ground and I just look at Mister Baldo in his stupid face and I said'

I stopped and looked around and I found a stick. I'm done running again. I get ready and take a deep breath as the monsters come into view. For Bob, I am sorry it didn't work the first time, you died because of that. I can't let anyone else die because of him because I am afraid.

'Go away! GO AWAY!'

"Go away! Go AWAY!"

I gasp for air and shake my head. My head hurts...

Chapter Text

I gasp for air and shake my head. My head hurts...

I rub my hands against my face and sigh. I put my hands on top of my head and just looked down. 

"Will!?"

I slowly look up at my mom who is at the door.

"Great, just fine." 

She runs to check my head making sure I am me. Why wouldn't I be me?

That night...

let's just say I could not get any rest anytime I closed my eyes I was just back there. I just look at the ceiling and the fact that Mom or someone was watching me was not helping me. I rub my face and turn towards Johnathan, who was looking at me. He was trying so hard not to fall asleep.

" You can't stay awake forever," I say to him 

He looks at me with tired eyes and he cracks a smile.

"Watch me"

" You are literally half asleep Johnathan," I say as I sit up. 

"I was testing you," he laughs.

I half smile and don't say anything, it was quiet. Nothing is more deadly than silence. I sigh and say "You should get some sleep''

"Nope, I am making sure you are safe."

"It's the end of the world Johnathan, no one is safe"

He is quiet, he knows I am right, just go to sleep.

" Just go to sleep, it won't hurt you. I promise you I won't die on you or anything like that right now.'' I say to him. 

"Right now?" he says.

"Yes, right now. He's not going to try anything right now, " I say. " Now go to sleep or help me god I will get up out of this bed and put you to bed myself." 

"You promise you won't leave me? I need you to promise me that, Will. You won't leave me while I am getting a couple of minutes of sleep."

"I promise."

Johnathan gets up from the chair and heads toward where I am and lies on the sofa. 

"I will be sleeping right next to you, just in case."

With your feet in the air

And your head on the ground

Try this trick and spin it, yeah

If there's nothing in it

And you'll ask yourself

Where is my mind?

Where is my mind?

Where is my mind?

My mind isn't my own anymore, its been taken captive again.

It's not just my thoughts, it's our thoughts.

Whatever he feels, I feel.

Whatever he thinks, I think.

Vice versus...

I found you.

I found the door.

But when I stepped through...

there was no floor.

You're coming back and it's the end of the world.

Just leave me alone.

I can't be like you, I don't want to be you.

I don't want to be a monster.

I'm trying to get over this

I wish that you would stay in my memories 

But you show up today, just to ruin things

I wanna put you in the past 'cause I'm traumatized

But you're not letting me do that

With me forever aren't you?

No matter where I go, you will always be there with me. I could be thousands of miles away and still, you would be able to hurt me.

Just leave me alone, why can't you leave me alone?

I steal a few breaths 

From the world for a minute

And then I'll be nothing, forever

And all of my memories 

And all the things I have seen 

Will be gone

With my eyes, with my body, with me

Everything, all of these shitty things that have happened to me will die with me.

I am already dead mentally so it's only a matter of time before I die physically. 

By the end of this, I'll be dead for real this time.

Chapter Text

That night was long. I really couldn't sleep. I tried not to move to allow Johnathan to sleep. After the days we have had, everyone in this house needs rest. Everyone gets rest, but I don't. I mean, how could I? It was pretty early in the morning, and I managed to quietly slip away without waking anyone up. I just really need to clear my head, so I close the door quietly and just start walking. I am not sure where, but somewhere, anywhere. I know these streets, the shortcuts, everything. I will just walk, and it will lead me somewhere.

As I walk, I can't help but think about everything from start to finish, only we are not finished as I walk. I thought about my conversation with Lucas. Connections and the hosts. I found myself in town, and it was quiet. A once peaceful town was no longer loud. It was like someone had turned the volume down from high to low, and someone did Vecna did. After the X was formed, chaos followed. People were quick to leave Hawkins, and I don't blame them. If I were not in this situation, I would be gone. There were only a few stragglers here. The cracks were no longer red or orange but grey and black. The fires had gone. I walked along one of the cracks until I got to the library. 

Why the library?

What is so special about the library?

What is Henry's connection to this library?

The caution tape didn't stop me from going into the library. I was going to find these answers one way or another. I jumped over the crack and walked up to the doors, and as I was pushing the door open, I felt someone watching me. It wasn't him. I pushed that feeling down and walked into the library. It was cold, and the lights flickered. There was a connection here, and I was going to find it. No one was killed here, so there couldn't be a gate here unless... I moved deeper into the library. I wondered if the computers still worked. I wanted to know if there was anything about Henry, something, anything that connects to him, or maybe the house that I was told about. I made it to the computers and tried to turn them on but they wouldn't work.

"damnit" I say to myself.

I got the physical copies of all the articles and newspapers written in Hawkins dated back 30 years. I searched and searched. Then I found something, a newspaper dated back to 1959. A family was killed the same way the others were. The son's body was never found; only the father survived, but he was blind. This isn't new news. Nancy and they tried to talk to him, and didn't get much out of him besides music. I ripped the copy out of the book and placed it to the side, and continued looking. An article about the Creel family...

Wait...

Victor Creel was the father, and he had a son who was also named Henry. The murders then were the same as now, so that only makes sense that Henry was the one who started all this, but how does he connect to El? I ripped this article out of the book as well. There it was that feeling again... It's him.

"So you're Henry Creel?" I say as I turn around and face him.

Vecna frowns. "Yes"

"How are you connected to El?"

"If you want answers, you'll have to kill them," he said as he pointed behind me. I saw flashlights and heard soldiers whispering.

"No. I am not like you."

"Oh but you are Will. You have this gift and its only a matter of time before you have to use it."

"How do you know about that?"

"You and I are connected, Will."

*BOOM*

A small gust of wind passes my cheek, slightly grazing it, and I start to bleed. I turn around, and there are soldiers, and they are pointing their guns at me. I look behind me and he is gone.

"PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR RIGHT NOW!" A soldier yells as he slowly starts making his way towards me. 

oh crap.

I slowly put my hands up with the articles in one hand and I forced down to the ground. It hurt, and they were yelling at me, but I couldn't hear them because the pain was too much for me. 

"HEY, I AM TALKING TO YOU! WHAT WERE YOU DOING HERE WITH HIM!?" The soldier said as he flipped me over hard, and I felt the wind basically get knocked out of me. He pointed his gun at me, and that's when I really got a look at him. He was dressed like the soldiers at the base. 

"He might be another one of his targets, we should put him out of his misery before Venca does it," another solider said.

"You're going to assume that but do you really know?" I said

They looked at me.

"Are you questioning my authority?" he said.

"yes. I know about it all."

"Silence him soldier. there cant be any witness"

The gun pointed at me once again. This is not how I want to die. I stared into the barrel as the soldier pulled the trigger without thinking. I moved my head to the right, and the gun shot and hit someone, and that someone wasn't me. It hit a soldier in the shoulder, and the adrenaline kicked in. I pushed the soldier above me back with my powers and got up and ran. I hid behind a bookcase, and the soldiers were angry.

"FIND HIM! DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!! ON SIGHT KILL HIM!" the wounded solder yelled out. 

I was trying to catch my breath.

"There's only one way out of this, William."

"No I won't. I can't"

"They want you dead. You escape here, and they find you and kill everyone you love"

I got flashes of my friends and family dead. Blood everywhere and screams. 

"If they don't, then you will."

"kill them."

"I can't. I won't"

"Oh, you will and you won't die here either. After the fights you got into. Do you really want to leave like that?"

"no..."

"I FOUND HIM" I turned to my right, and there a soldier was getting ready to shoot me, and I quickly pushed him back out of fear. I don't want to kill them. I can't. Either way if when I leave here, my family and friends will be hunted and killed. I can still fight. I can fight for them. I will win this battle with Vecna, and they will live. I have time, but these guys won't give me time.

*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*

The bullets fly all around me and I run again.

"Do it, Will. Kill them"

"I said do it"

"NO!" I said and then I ran right into a solider and fell backwards. I freaked out and just pushed him back hard. He flew through bookcases and then hit the wall. I freak again and ran towards the solider. He wasn't breathing...

"no..."

"you killed him, will."

"no I didn't mean to..." I say as my voice cracks

"one down. two to go"

"i didn't mean to."

The soliders appeared behind me and they saw their dead commrad. They then started shooting me. The bullet bounced off this bubble I had somehow created, hitting one of them in leg. That didn't stop them they continued shooting. 

*Flashback*

That night when I was captured, I hid in the shed and loaded the shotgun. I fully intended to kill whatever was after me out of fear. I did shoot but it wasn't enough. Fear got the better of me and I missed...

This time I won't miss. I will kill Vecna this time and I am willing to do anything to do that. It was then that I realized that they had to die.

*present time*

I slowly got up andturned around and lifted them cutting their airway. I stood there and I watched them die. As they died something in me also died. That fear, I am willing to do anything to protect the people that i love. Once they stopped breathing I dropped their bodies.

"You said that I had to kill them for answers. I want my answers now."

Chapter Text

I turned around to face him. The adrenaline rush was wearing down, but something new was boiling inside of him.

Anger.

" I want answers," I say, slightly raising my voice.

"Three bodies. Three questions. Choose them wisely."

He looked at me, his face was hard to read. I have so many questions—my mind races.

"Why me?" I look at him and make eye contact with him. The fear that was once there, hidden by anger. "I mean, why did you pick me?"

"There's always been a connection between us. It was only a matter of time before we connected. The gift that was given to you was because of that. You and I, William, are one."

Always connected. I never stood a chance then of escaping or even having a normal childhood. 

"We are not one. I will never be like you," I say. 

I will never be like him, I can't. I've spent years trying to get back to some sort of normal, but no matter what I do, people always seem to walk on eggshells around me. I will never be normal.

He starts to laugh. "It's not your choice anymore."

"Why are you the way you are?"

"I found a nest of black widows living inside a vent. Most people fear spiders. They detest them, and yet I found them endlessly fantasizing. More than that, I found great comfort in them."

The ground shifted, and suddenly we were in a house, and this kid ran right past me with a jar in hand into an attic. This kid was blonde and seemed like a sensitive kid. I couldn't help but follow this kid. He looked like him. 

"Like me, they are solitary creatures, and they are deeply misunderstood. They are the gods of our world. The most important of all predators."

Henry sits down and places the jar on a table of some sort. The table is has other jars on it and as I walked closer I saw more spiders. Henry pulls out a book and a pencil. He then starts to sketch these spiders. This reminded me of me.

"They immobilize and feed on the weak, bringing balance and order to an unstable ecosystem, but the human world was disrupting this harmony. You see, humans are a unique type of pest, multiplying and poisoning our world all while enforcing a structure of their own. A deeply unnatural structure. "

He looks at me, and then a grandfather's clock appears. I look at it and walk closer to it. Each step matched the ticks of the clock.

" Where others saw order, I saw a straitjacket. A cruel, oppressive world dictated by made-up rules."

He walks behind me and puts his hand on my shoulders.

"Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades. Each life a faded, lesser copy of the one before. Wake up, eat, work, sleep, reproduce, and die."

His voice grows louder and more echoey. I move myself in order to get away from his touch, and I look at him. We make eye contact, and he slowly gets down to my level and leans close to my ear. 

"Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for it all to be over. All while performing in a silly, terrible play, day after day. I could not do that. I could not close my mind and join in the madness. I could not pretend, and then I realized I didn't have to."

The clock starts to chime. At first, it sounded normal, but then it started to sound distorted. The ground shifts once again, and I am in a playroom. The rainbow room, as  El has explained to me. I see her, but younger, like how she was when they first found her.  I also see him, but in a human form, talking to her. This was his way of explaining to me why he is the way he is. Before I knew it, he was asking El to join him, and she said no. They started fighting. She then pushed him back towards the wall. He struggles to move, and then El walks closer to him and throws out her hand. A white void opened inside of him, and ashes were coming out of him. He screamed out in pain, and then he disappeared.

Then there it was... a gate to the upside down. This was the first gate ever opened. I thought the first gate was when EL made contact with the demogranon.  I stepped closer to it and without thinking I walked inside. I saw him getting hit by lighting multiple times.

Red.

Lighting.

Smoke.

Rocky.

Then he hit the ground. 

"I became an explorer. An explorer of a realm unspoiled by mankind. I saw so many things, and one day I found the most extraordinary thing of all.  Something that would change everything. I saw a means to realize my potential, to transend my human form, to become the predator that I was always born to be."

He walked until he found this smoke that looked like a tornado, but then it started to take shape. This smoke looked just like the smoke from when I freaked out on that field. It was the mind flayer. 

"You found the mind flayer."

"Yes."

"What do you plan on doing with the mind flayer? Are you bringing it to this world now that the gates have created an even bigger gate?" I said.

He didn't respond. I was growing impatient. 

"Answer me!" I yelled. 

"You will find out soon enough."

"That doesn't answer my question," I yelled, but then the ground shifted again, and then I was back in the library alone.

It felt cold and empty. Even with the number of books around me, it still felt empty. The bodies around me are empty, soulless because of me. I walked towards the exit, and before shutting the door, I looked behind me. A flicker of this library being upside-down came into view. I shut the door. This will not be the last time. I will return. I walked back towards Mike's house quickly. It was still early, but I hoped no one was awake. I stuffed the articles into my pocket. As soon as I made it inside the house, I went straight to the bathroom to clean myself up. I looked into the mirror and saw how the bullet glaze was. I washed my face and looked back up into the mirror. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for whatever I was going to face today. It was quiet. I went back downstairs and saw everyone still sleeping. I sat down on the sofa and closed my eyes, trying to get some rest, even if it's impossible. 

Shuffling.

Whispering.

I opened my eyes to find Johnathan and Nancy looking at me. 

" I'm awake, thank you." I saw as I stretched out my arms. "Good Morning to you two. Why are you guys staring at me? Don't you think that's a bit creepy?" I say as I laugh awkwardly. 

"There's blood on your face," Johnathan said. "What happened?"

'What!?" I say as I stand up and touch my cheek. There's a slight dry feeling. "Oh, when I woke up last night, I tripped over something," I say quickly as I go to the bathroom again.

Crap. They followed me. Nancy comes up to me with a rag and starts to clean the dry blood.

"Come on,sit," she says as she leads me back to the sofa and sits me back down. She is fixing me up, and then Johnathan sits in front of me.

" Will, are you telling the truth? It doesn't look like you fell. I would have heard it." Johnathan said.

Nancy puts on this ointment on my skin. It's cold, but it is supposed to help the area not get infected.

" You're lucky. This won't leave a scar, you won't need a band-aid." Nancy says. She then gets up and says, "I'll give you two some privacy."

"Thank you, Nancy," I say. She smiles, then walks up the stairs and closes the door.

"Well?" Johnathan says his tone is slightly rising.

"I tripped over the rug. You were tired last night, so you didn't hear it because you were out cold, Johnathan." I say

"Are you sure? You know you can tell me anything," he says.

I thought about it for a moment. I thought about telling him about the bodies, the questions, and the answers, but I couldn't. I looked at him.

"I'm sure," I say.

It was quiet. He tried to read my face, but there was nothing he could read. I couldn't tell him that I am destined to become what he fears most. I am going to fight not to become what everyone fears, no matter what. He sighs and then gets up.

"Breakfast will be ready soon. I'll meet you upstairs with everyone else," he says and walks up the stairs before he opens the door. He stops but doesn't turn to face me. "I know you're scared, we all are, but we will get through this together," he says and opens the door and shuts it.

It's quiet. Almost deadless, just me alone with my thoughts. I sigh and just relax.

How are we going to get through this together?