Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Merlin looked down at the rip in his shirt and the blood now leaking out. “Great, something else that will need mending,” he thought absently before falling back against a tree and sliding down the rough bark to sit hard on the ground. Luckily, his shirt was somewhat thick this day or else the bark would have probably left scratches in addition to just adding to his bruised back and torso.

Lancelot came running over from the downed creature they had just defeated together. “Merlin? Are you alright?” His footsteps squelched in the mud as he drew nearer.

“Yeah, Lance,” Merlin said as he held a hand to his side to staunch the blood flow. “Just a little banged up, I’ve had worse. How about you? How’s your head?”

“I’m fine. I don’t even have a headache. Are you sure you’re fine?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure,” Merlin said again, relieved that Lancelot was not dead and had no ill effects from the spell Merlin had performed. It had been a quick spell of protection just before performing the killing blow. Gaius had not had any issues on the Isle of the Blessed when Merlin had performed that magic before, but there was still relief when it worked so well.

Lancelot looked uneasy at those words but didn’t dispute them. “You’re bleeding,” he said as he began rifling through Merlin’s sack to find bandages he knew Merlin kept there.

“Just a scratch. The rain mixing with the blood is making it look worse than it is.”

Lancelot pulled out some cleaned cloths in order to clean the wound. “You took a pretty good hit. Be honest, Merlin.”

“Well, I mean, yeah, it hurts some, but as soon as the ground stops spinning, I can do something about it.”

Lancelot paused briefly in lifting Merlin’s shirt. “The ground is spinning? You must have lost more blood than I thought.” Lancelot pulled the shirt up further to see the damage done by the boar. He was only slightly surprised to see the burn on Merlin’s arm as he moved it out of the way.

“Not from blood loss. Happened when it knocked me against that tree. Knocked the wind out of me and hit my head a bit. It’ll clear up soon.”

Lancelot only sighed. He paused again with Merlin’s sharp intake of breath. “Hate to tell you this, but I think you might have a cracked rib or two.”

“Yeah, figured as much. How about you? You took a pretty good hit, too.”

“I landed in the bushes. Few actual scratches. Not like you getting gored.”

“You can hardly call this getting gored. Its tusk just scraped my side, but it didn’t go through me. Let me see your scratches.”

Lancelot showed Merlin his cheek, but Merlin reached out to check him over. Lancelot tried to argue with Merlin about how Merlin needed medical attention more than he did, but he realized Merlin would not allow him to do any more until he was sure that Lancelot was unharmed. He grunted when Merlin probed his shoulder, but after Merlin was sure that it wasn’t broken or dislocated, he settled back to let Lancelot finish his own ministrations.

“The thing is really dead now, right?” Merlin asked as he settled back against the tree trunk.

“I don’t see how he could still be living after that lightning bolt. Did you know you could do that?”

“I did it once before, but it’s not something I do on a daily basis. I mean, I knew I could, I just don’t know how I did it.”

“Well, since this seemed to come from you, do you think you can make the rain stop? It is making cleaning this wound a little more difficult with all the mud.”

Merlin chuckled, and then regretted the action as it pulled on his torn skin and bruised ribs. When he was able to breathe again, he replied, “Sorry. Not actually sure how I start it, and I’m not actually sure how to turn it off. If it’s anything like last time, it will finish soon.” Almost as if Merlin did control it, the rain lessened and the clouds started to part. “See?”

Lancelot shook his head and smiled. “You never cease to amaze me. Still dizzy?”

“A bit, but better,” Merlin replied.

“Can you heal yourself?”

“I’ve never been good at healing spells, but I can try.” Merlin held his hand back to his now bandaged side and said the incantation. He felt the familiar warmth flow through him, but the pain in his head increased tenfold causing him to cut the magic off before he’d had a chance to heal anything.

“What’s wrong?” Lancelot said in near panic.

“It’s ok, I have just used too much magic already. I’ll be better in a bit. Go grab the tusks off the boar to show Arthur, and we had better get back to the castle.”

“You sure you can make it in your state?”

Merlin grinned up at his best non-royal friend. “Yeah. Like I said, I’ve had worse.”

Lancelot looked at Merlin as if he wanted to say something else, but he turned back to the boar instead to cut of the tusks as proof that the danger was gone. Merlin braced himself against the tree and worked his way to his feet. The world spun around him briefly, but he closed his eyes, and when he reopened them, the forest had righted itself.

Lancelot was back quickly and put Merlin’s arm around his neck to help with walking. Merlin wanted to refuse the help at first, but he knew the quicker they moved, the sooner he would be back to Gaius and the bitter pain medicine he desperately wanted. Even with Lancelot’s help, the trip back was slow going. Merlin didn’t ask for it, but Lancelot gave them frequent breaks, and Merlin was glad for it. His head ached and his side burned. When Merlin had bled through his bandages, Merlin decided he needed to stitch up the damage. As Lancelot went to refill their waterskins, Merlin sewed and thought about how they had gotten in their predicament.

A week before, a man from one of Camelot’s outlying villages had come before the acting king to beg. He stated that a large boar was tearing down fences and goring livestock. The tale seemed like just a berserk animal until the man mentioned that the boar could breathe fire. Arthur wanted to go with his knights in order to vanquish the beast, but Uther had caught the flu which caused an epidemic in the castle.

Uther had never quite recovered after Morgana’s betrayal, and Arthur was king in all but name as soon as they returned to Camelot. In Uther’s already weakened state, Gaius feared he might not make it. Arthur still wanted to send a hunting party, but the flu that had made Uther sick was making its way through the rest of the castle and the knights. Lancelot, being one of the few unaffected, volunteered to be the one to go to the village. Percival was going to accompany Lancelot, but Percival caught Uther’s flu the day before they were to head out.

Some research on Gaius’s part revealed that the boar was likely a Calydonian boar, and only magic could defeat it. Lancelot then told Arthur that he needed Merlin to go to treat any villagers who may have been burned by the boar or be suffering from the flu. Arthur was skeptical, but after he had started suffering from the ailment, every little thing Merlin did seemed to be extra annoying for him. When Merlin had angered him one morning by being overly cheerful, Arthur yelled that he was sending him to get him out of his hair. They weren’t quite sure if Gwaine was suffering from the flu or a really bad hangover, but Gaius did not clear him for the trip. Elyan had caught it from Gwen, and Leon was only just recovering. That left only Lancelot and Merlin.

The trip to the village had been relatively uneventful. They had talked and swapped stories. Merlin was glad to spend time with someone who knew about his magic and didn’t ask him to hide it or treat him like a monster. Lancelot accepted him and his magic. He marveled at Merlin’s fire puppets and laughed when he used the puppets to tell the story of when he and Arthur first met.

The village had definitely been ravaged by a creature. There were big ruts in the ground and huge hoofprints. Fences were torn down, gardens had been demolished, and houses burned. Lancelot and Merlin listened to the villagers describe the beast. Merlin treated a few villagers for various maladies, only a few of which had actually been caused by the boar. Far more were suffering from the flu. Once they had gathered enough evidence, they began the trek back home.

Unfortunately, the trip back was not so uneventful. They had gotten off their horses to give their steeds a break when they heard grunting and snuffling. Merlin turned just in time to see the boar bearing down on them. The boar had to be at least seven feet tall and six feet wide. It had two large tusks protruding from its cheeks and extending over the top of its head. Its tail was almost as long as Kilgarrah's, and the tip was barbed. Its russet-colored hair was wiry and stuck out at all angles.

Merlin tried to blast it with a gust of wind as he pushed Lancelot out of the way. They both landed hard. The horses ran off and the two men ran to the trees after them. The boar started bearing down on them again, and they passed between two trees too small for the boar to make it through.

Lancelot had his sword in his hand and held it toward the boar as it blasted the two trees with blue flame. The trees disintegrated to ashes before they could even catch fire. Merlin’s eyes glowed gold as he telepathically threw a giant boulder at the boar. The rock blasted against the thick skull and seemed to only anger the boar more. The boar charged again. Lancelot managed to stab the boar under the chin before it threw him into some nearby bushes. Merlin yelled out a spell just before he heard Lancelot land against a large boulder hitting his head in the process, making Merlin wince. Merlin uprooted a tree and threw the entire tree at the giant.

The boar turned his attention to the sorcerer and turned its head down this time when it charged. Merlin stood his ground as he muttered spell after spell. He tried to jump out of the way, but he felt the bite of the tusk slicing his side and the boar threw his head up, picking Merlin up as well. Merlin was thrown ten feet into the air against a tree. Merlin felt the impact against the back of his head, and his vision swam. While he was dazed, the boar charged again, pinning him against the tree. Merlin desperately tried to breathe as the boar pushed him so hard that he could not move. In a panicked attempt to get his lungs working, instinct took over and Merlin’s eyes glowed gold yet again. He blasted the boar away from him.

Clouds gathered overhead as the boar shot a fireball at Merlin. Merlin dived out of the way, landing on his now sore ribs, but not before the fireball grazed his arm. He focused his magic on Lancelot’s sword embedded in the boar’s chin. Rain began to fall in sheets as the boar lowered its head to charge again. Merlin felt the power flow through him up to the sky as the lightning struck down and struck the boar through the top of its skull to the sword below. The animal squealed out in pain and the scent of burnt hair reached Merlin’s nose.

Blue sparks flowed from snout to tail before the beast gave a final whimper and fell over. Merlin then looked down at his shirt, took a few steps backward, and ended up sliding down the trunk of the tree.

Chapter Text

Lancelot returned and handed Merlin the waterskin. Merlin took a swig in an effort to settle his turned stomach. Merlin wondered if the nausea was concussion related, but he didn’t want to mention it to Lancelot. They started back towards Camelot, and luckily came across their horses. The horses were well-trained to return to Camelot, but without riders, they weren’t as fast about getting there. Lancelot helped Merlin onto his horse with some difficulty. Soon they were on their way much faster than before.

Merlin refused to complain about the aching of his head with every trot of the horse. He dared not mention the jostling of his ribs with every footstep. The only way Lancelot knew that Merlin was hurting was the fact that Merlin was quiet. The trip to the village was filled with chatter and laughter. The current trip was silent except for the nature around them. When the sun began to set, Lancelot helped Merlin from the horse to set up camp for the night.

“Hey Lance?” Merlin said after he started a magical fire without ever getting up from his bedroll. Lancelot noticed he blinked his eyes as if the small amount of magic gave him a headache. “You know we can’t tell Arthur about this?”

“Huh?” Lancelot said as he stretched his feet toward the fire.

“I mean, Arthur can’t know that I killed that boar.”

“I know,” Lancelot said as he stared deeply into the fire.

“I mean, he can’t know anything. It’s best if he thinks I wasn’t even nearby.”

“How do you suppose we explain your injuries?”

“Easy, we don’t.”

Lancelot shifted his gaze to Merlin. “How do you suppose we do that?”

“We just don’t say anything. Arthur will be a great king one day, but he is a prat. He doesn’t notice what is happening right under his nose most of the time, and if you just don’t tell him, he doesn’t notice.”

“No offense to you, but you can barely walk. He might not notice you saying a spell here and there, but I think he’ll notice if you can’t even stand up straight.”

“I’ll be better after some rest, and he’ll just think I’ve been hit with a bought of fealty.”

“I’m not so sure about that.”

“Trust me. It’s happened before. As long as you don’t say anything, he won’t notice.”

Lancelot looked back at the flames flickering in the night. “Has it really happened that often?”

“Once or twice.”

“That does not put me at ease.”

Merlin shifted to try to ease the pain in his side. “Arthur is a good man, Lance, but sometimes he’s really thick. Also, I’m really good at hiding stuff. Do you know just how much has happened in that castle that Arthur does not know about? That Arthur cannot know about?”

“I know. I sometimes am amazed by how much he ignores when it comes to you, but will he really ignore you hurting.”

Merlin let out a small chuckle. “Yes, because he won’t know. Go to sleep, Lance. We have a long ride tomorrow and I for one am not looking forward to it.”

The next morning, Lancelot was awakened to Merlin already packing their things. He was quiet for a moment watching Merlin. If Lance had not known what had happened the day before, he would have thought that Merlin was just moving a little slower than usual. He might have missed the hitch in his breath or the way he guarded his side. “Oh, hey Lance. Horses are almost ready,” Merlin said when he noticed Lancelot watching him.

“You really do amaze me, Merlin.”

“Well, I am an amazing person.”

Lancelot laughed as he began rolling up his own bedroll.

The ride was much more pleasant than the previous day, but Lancelot could tell that Merlin was still hurting. He hid it well, but he wasn’t able to hide every grimace or prevent the sweat beads from forming on his brow. When they stopped midday, Merlin refused the bit of hard bread and dried meat. Lancelot didn’t question him, but he knew that Merlin’s lack of appetite meant more than just travel fatigue.

Merlin didn’t want to worry Lancelot, but his dizziness seemed to be getting worse the longer they traveled, and the affliction made him sick to his stomach. His ribs ached, his side burned, his mouth felt like it was full of wool, and his head felt like the lightning bolt had gone through him instead of the boar. He was good about hiding any issues he had, but if it got much worse, then he was going to end up sick on the horse. He was glad for the break for Lancelot to eat, but when the dried meat was offered to him, he could feel the bile in the back of his throat. He politely turned it down, and only just managed to keep himself from losing any contents his stomach currently contained.

The sight of Camelot almost made him feel better, but that was short lived. As they drew closer, they pushed the horses into quick trots, and the action made every hurt, ache, and pain increase tenfold. Arriving at the stables, Lancelot offered to carry a good deal of their belongings into the castle. Merlin would usually have protested, but he knew that he was going to need to preserve his energy if he was going to pretend to be fine in front of everyone later.

Gaius was not in their chambers. Merlin assumed that he was probably out caring for someone else. Lancelot dropped all of their things on a chair near the fireplace since all the tables were currently covered by bottles and herbs and potions while Merlin went to his room to change out of his torn and bloody clothing. Merlin wanted nothing more than to go to his bed and rest for several hours.

Just as he was about to suggest to Lancelot that he do just that, Guinevere came bursting into the room. “Oh, I am so glad to see you. I mean, I’m not glad to see you. Arthur will be. I don’t mean it like that. I am glad to see you, it’s just Arthur has been in a state since you left.” Merlin smiled at her. Even though she and Arthur were an unofficial item and the worst kept secret in the castle, she would still occasionally become the flustered girl Merlin had first met.

“What’s going on?” Lancelot asked, stepping toward her.

“Oh, Lance, um, I actually meant Merlin. You know Arthur wasn’t feeling well before you left and he had a really bad day the day you left. High fever and everything. Gaius treated him well, and he’s fully recovered, but he has been in a sour mood ever since. I don’t think he realized that you had actually left.”

“He told me to go,” Merlin cried out in indignation.

“Oh, I know, but he was sick, and I don’t think he really remembered ordering that.”

“Great, so now I’m in trouble for following orders. How is that fair?”

“I’m sure he’ll calm down when he sees you.”

“I need to see him as well,” Lancelot said as he pointed at the bag holding the tusks of the boar. He then winked at Merlin, “Can’t be mad knowing that another threat to the kingdom has been thwarted.”

Merlin smiled at his friend as the trio exited the physician’s chambers in search of the regent. Arthur was in his room, and Gwen knocked thoughtfully before Merlin could barge inside. When they entered, Merlin was aghast at the state of the bedchamber. “What happened here?” Merlin asked as he kicked a shirt thrown haphazardly on the floor.

“What happened? My manservant decided to leave his sick master to fend for himself.”

“You seem perfectly fine now.”

“I am now, but I wasn’t before, and you decided to go gallivanting around the countryside.”

“You told me to go, and there was very little ‘gallivanting’.”

“I didn’t think you would actually leave. I told you to go because you were acting ridiculous, but I meant it in jest.”

“Well, sire, as much as you would like for me to read your mind, it is hard for me to speak arse.”

“Shut up, Merlin,“ Arthur said as he threw a pillow at Merlin’s head. Merlin ducked and felt the pain slice through his hurt ribs and stitched side. He became dizzy by the sudden movement, and even though he avoided the pillow, he still managed to fall down to the floor. Lancelot rushed in from the doorway from where he had been standing to help Merlin up while Arthur rolled his eyes.

“Don’t be upset with Merlin,” Lancelot said as he helped Merlin back to his feet but didn’t miss the hitch in his breath or the wince with the movement. “I needed the company on the trip, and it was a successful one.”

“Didn’t Percival and Elyan go with you?” Arthur asked confusedly.

“Both had the flu, sire. It was just Merlin and me.”

Arthur looked mildly nonplussed. “I knew Leon was sick. I think I caught it from him, but I didn’t know Percival and Elyan had it, too. What about Gwaine?”

“He’s just getting over it,” Gwen interjected.

“I knew I hadn’t seen them after I recovered, but I just assumed that they were on the hunting trip.”

Gwen stepped closer to Arthur and put her hand on his arm. “You haven’t been out of this room in five days. You were bound to miss some things.”

Arthur sat down on his bed. “You still should have told me when you left, Merlin.”

“I saw you that morning. You threw a goblet at me.”

“Yes, well,” Arthur started.

“You’ll be happy to know that the boar is dead,” Lancelot interrupted to prevent further argument. He ducked back into the hallway to bring in the bag with the massive tusks.

“What are those?” Arthur asked, standing again to reach out for the items.

“Those belonged to the Calydonian boar,” Lancelot answered.

“You killed the boar? If these are its tusks, it must have been huge. I knew you were a good knight, but I didn’t realize you were this skilled.”

“I didn’t actually do it by myself…” Lancelot tried, but Arthur didn’t hear him as Merlin lightly elbowed him as a reminder to leave him out of any story.

“This is exactly what we need after all this gloom in the castle,” Arthur said as he held one of the tusks that was almost as tall as he was. He examined every inch and paused at the tip. “Is this blood? Were you hurt?” Arthur asked looking from the tusk to Lancelot.

“No, sire,” Lancelot said as he glanced at Merlin. Merlin pretended not to see him. “I believe that blood belongs to the boar.

“Well, I really am impressed. Take the rest of the day and tomorrow to recover from your travels.”

“Thank you, sire,” Lancelot said as he bowed.

“As for you, Merlin, this room is a mess. I suggest you get to work on it immediately.”

Lancelot bristled and almost spoke up about how Merlin had done just as much traveling, but Merlin caught his eye and shook his head. “If you weren’t such a messy menace, this room would never have gotten in this shape.”

“And if I had a servant worth half his salt, he wouldn’t leave his sick master to go running off who-knows-where. This time it was with Lancelot, but it’s usually the tavern. You can’t expect me to know which times you are actually trying to be useful.”

Lancelot bowed his head and he and Guinevere left the bickering duo. “I think that’s actually what Arthur missed,” Guinevere said to Lancelot outside the door.

“I just wish Arthur treated Merlin better. Arthur doesn’t realize a third of what Merlin does for him.”

Guinevere raised her brows and touched Lancelot’s arm. Lancelot felt a sharp thrill at her touch. He knew that she no longer loved him the way he loved her, but that didn’t change his own feelings. “Arthur was really sick and kept asking for Merlin. He had a high fever and was out of his head for a couple of days. He might not act like it, but he really is glad Merlin is back.” When Lancelot took a deep breath to retort, Guinevere continued, “I don’t disagree with you. Arthur doesn’t realize how much Merlin means to him, but we know, and I think Merlin knows. They have their own dynamic, and we shouldn’t interfere.”

Lancelot’s shoulders sagged as he nodded. He wanted to tell Gwen about the boar and how instrumental Merlin had been. He wanted to tell her about Merlin’s injuries. His own shoulder ached so he knew Merlin’s injuries had to be bothering him just as much, but he had promised Merlin not to say anything to Arthur, and telling Guinevere was as good as telling the regent.

Chapter Text

Merlin cleaned Arthur’s room a little slower than usual, and when Arthur pointed it out, Merlin just quipped that he was expected to be slower after spending a few days in the saddle. Arthur responded by throwing another pillow at him. Arthur then pointed at the large stack of papers on his desk that had been neglected during his illness. “You need to look this over when you’re done with your other duties,” Arthur instructed. “I did as much as I could while sick, but without my manservant here, I wasn’t able to get through nearly as much work as I needed. I simply don’t have time to look over all of this again, and if you find a mistake, know it was done while I was fevered out of my mind, and since it’s your fault, you need to be the one to correct them.”

“Yes, sire,” Merlin said without concealing any sarcasm.

“Merlin, you should feel proud. Not many servants have the privilege to see the inner working of running a kingdom. You should be down on your knees thanking me.” Merlin didn’t bother to hide his eye roll as he picked up a sock to throw into the laundry basket that was now overflowing. “While you were gone, I think my father may have gotten worse," Arthur said somberly. "Maybe it was the flu, but I swear he didn’t know me when I tried to visit him last night.”

Merlin began to respond to his prince when a knock at the door stopped either of them from saying anything further. Merlin answered to see a slightly paler but otherwise healthy Leon standing at the door. “Hello, my prince. Lancelot came back to the knights’ quarters and mentioned that you appear to be feeling better.”

Arthur nodded. “I do feel much better.”

“Good then, Arthur. I didn’t want to mention it to you while you were sick, but with this illness spreading the way it has, we have had several groups who have begun looting. Nothing severe yet, but I fear that the situation may escalate without intervention.”

“I agree, Leon. We need to increase patrols in the lower town and decree that anyone caught looting will not only spend the night in jail but will have to pay a minimum of 5 gold pieces to crown and repay the amount stolen to the victims.”

“That’s another problem, sire. We don’t have enough guard at the moment to increase patrols. Most are either sick with or recovering from this illness.”

Arthur put his head in his hands. Merlin knew that if any other knight besides one of the round table knights was in front of him, Arthur would not have shown any distress. “Very well. We need to have a council meeting about it tonight, I suppose. Make sure those who are well enough know that they should attend. Also, where is Gaius? He needs to see to the knights at once.”

“I’m not sure where he is at this moment. He is not in the makeshift clinic we set up in the small hall, but he was last seen in the Blackwood’s house. All three of their children and the wife are afflicted. Blackwood himself has only recently recovered.”

“Great. Just what is the current state of my kingdom, Sir Leon?”

“Well, I don’t know exact numbers, but I would say that more than a quarter of the kingdom is down at the moment with at least half affected in some way. We have enough supplies stockpiled currently that we have not been hurting for anything, but if this illness doesn’t stop soon, then we will have to get into our winter rations and then we won’t have enough before next harvest.”

“Alright then,” Arthur said before sitting down at his desk. “Let me look over these reports that were neglected during Merlin’s vacation, and we will discuss it tonight.”

Leon glanced at Merlin and even put a friendly hand on his shoulder as if saying he knew that Arthur didn’t mean what he had said. Merlin gave Leon a half smile and picked up the laundry basket with a small grunt. There were times that he almost forgot about the injuries caused by the boar, then he would move a certain direction or bend a certain way, and the pain would almost take his breath away. Merlin was good at hiding it though.

Leon left just before Merlin, and Arthur called out to him before he could get out. “Merlin, don’t forget to polish my armor tonight. I think I may need to make a public appearance soon so people know they have not been forgotten. I need to look my best. Oh, and muck out the stables, too. It hasn’t been done since you left, so I’m sure they’re in a right state. Off you go then. Laundry awaits.”

Merlin shook his head as he maneuvered through the halls to get to the washroom. He noticed that the hallways seemed to have fewer people than usual, and he guessed they were probably ill if what Leon had said was correct.

Merlin knew that he had a lot to do, but he needed to see how Gaius was fairing with the epidemic. Instead of going straight to the stables after dropping off Arthur’s laundry, he went to his own room. Gaius was not there, and Merlin found many of his supplies and potions gone as well. Merlin glimpsed his bed, and desperately wanted to sleep off the day’s travel, but he knew that he couldn’t.

Cleaning the stables took much longer than Merlin intended. With each shovel, his back ached and his ribs felt like they were on fire. He thought at one point that he may have popped a stitch, but he couldn’t check it at that moment. His head felt full of lead, and the burn on his arm felt raw. After a couple of hours, Merlin looked to see that he still had quite a way to go. He looked around to make sure no one could see before he muttered a small spell under his breath.

Two things happened at once. The stables started to clean themselves, and the lead feeling in Merlin’s head turned molten and exploded. Merlin dropped to his knees and held his head in hands. Tears leaked from his eyes without him being able to stop them. His nose ran into the heels of his palms.

Though it felt like hours, the spell and its effects were over in minutes. Merlin blearily looked up with his wet face to see the horses nickering and whinnying to each other, but otherwise unfazed. Merlin wiped his nose one last time with his sleeve and then headed back to his room to check his stitches.

Gaius was standing at his potions table when Merlin walked in. “There you are, my boy. Did you and Lancelot defeat the boar?”

“Yeah, Arthur is now the proud owner of that thing’s tusks. I hear things have been pretty bad here. What is that smell?” The pungent odor did nothing to help the residual headache lingering behind Merlin's eyes.

Gaius put a pinch of something into a brownish liquid. Steam billowed from a pot on the fire that emitted loud popping sounds and smelled like rotting cabbages. Gaius finally looked up at Merlin. “Don’t talk about my remedies while you're covered in what I assume is horse manure. I take it you have already been back for a while and Arthur set you to work?”

“That’s right. He didn’t even let me wash off first. I still have to go polish his armor and go finish up his laundry. My turn at the wash basins should be coming up soon. I haven’t even had a chance to eat since I got back.”

“I would make you some pottage, but I’m afraid I don’t have the time. I need to make sure this is mixed just right or else we are likely to have a worse epidemic on our hands. Can you hand me the willow bark? Then you can have some bread. It’s still on the table from this morning.”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks, Gaius. I’ll just wash up before I eat.” Merlin handed Gaius the bark and then went to his room. He didn’t want to tell Gaius about his injuries since Gaius was already dealing with so much. Merlin pulled up his shirt and winced as he brought it over his head. His stitches were mostly still intact. One did look like it had popped loose, but Merlin wasn’t bleeding, so he didn’t feel the need to redo it. The most concerning part was the vivid bruising down his side. The slash from the boar’s tusk was reddened and slightly raised, but Merlin didn’t think it was infected yet. He rebandaged himself as best he could before pulling up a sleeve to look at his burn.

The burn was probably the most annoying injury. It was right in a place that he used frequently, and even bandaged did not stop the feel of sleeve rubbing across it. He could see the yellowish fluid that had seeped through the bandage and he couldn’t contain his wince as he unwrapped it. The flesh was pink with black on two edges. The whole wound leaked fluid and pulses of pain shot through it while air was touching it. Merlin didn’t want to go out to get a poultice because that would alert Gaius to the wound and would most likely cause his guardian to inspect the rest of him for injuries. Merlin instead found his travel bag and pulled out some clean bandages.

As he wrapped, he thought about what had happened in the stables. Could that have been concussion related or something else? Why did the pain come while using his magic? The whole incident was confusing. He wanted to ask Gaius what he thought, but Gaius had so much he was worrying about at the moment, he didn't want to add something else. Merlin finished wrapping and looked over at the fresh shirt he had pulled from his closet. He dreaded putting it on just because of having to maneuver his ribs and torso, but he did.

When he came out of the room, Gaius was filling bottles with the foul concoction from the fire. “What took you so long?” Gaius asked without looking up from the bottle he was filling.

“Nothing, just had to change clothes again to stop smelling like horse dung. You never did tell me what that stuff is that you are making.”

“I’m hoping it will help. I still need to boil down some more willow bark. I'm afraid what you handed me before was the last of what I had on hand. Do you mind fetching some for me? Oh, and Merlin, I know you haven’t been able to rest since your travels, but I have been using the small hall as a clinic. I’m going to try to isolate the sickest and keep them away from others to maybe stop this spreading further. I plan on the sickest staying here while the less sick can remain in the hall. If you don’t mind helping out there after you have finished your duties with Arthur.”

“Oh, alright,” Merlin agreed. He turned to go out when Gaius stopped him and told him to grab some bread and cheese. Merlin thanked him and got a small chunk of both. He wolfed them down on his way to the forest to pull some willow bark. He had not realized how hungry he had become when his nausea had abated.

Merlin needed to stop a few times on his way to the forest to catch his breath. He didn’t miss the unusually low number of people in the town or those that were out were either coughing or holding their heads. He supposed he looked about as bad as they did, and no one bothered him on his way to the forest and back.

Merlin handed Gaius the now half-full basket of willow bark and left to pick up Arthur’s laundry. He was still sore and tired, but the little bit of food from earlier did give him some much needed energy.

Chapter Text

Merlin arrived at the washroom to see Ferren finishing up Arthur’s things for Merlin. Ferren was a scullery maid who had been assigned to wash the other kitchen staff’s belongings for the day. Merlin had not expected her to wash Arthur’s as well, and when he said it to her, she blushed as she said, “I see you running around here all the time. I know you only left his laundry behind because you had something else to do. I was already washing, so it wasn’t a big deal to wash those, too.” She tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear and looked at Merlin sheepishly. “It’s also time to get the prince’s meal. Actually, past time. I didn’t really think you were going to be able to finish it all.”

Merlin smiled at Ferren. “You are amazing, you know that? I could hug you!” Ferren’s blush deepened and her eyes widened. Merlin, though still achy, was in a better mood coming out of the washroom, but now he was in a hurry after Ferren reminded him to get Arthur his meal.

Arthur didn’t typically take his supper in his room. Usually, it was in one of the dining halls based on how many people were there, whether he was trying to impress anyone, or what he had planned for the rest of the night or the next day. A normal evening was in the small hall. The fact that Gaius had told him that was now a clinic meant that Arthur would either be in the great hall or his room. Because he wasn’t yet completely back to full health, Merlin knew he would want it in his room. The problem with this was that no one else was there to attend him. If Arthur was in one of the halls, someone else would likely bring him the food. If he was in his bedchamber, the only one to do it was Merlin.

Merlin dropped off the laundry basket beside Arthur’s door but didn’t dare to go in yet. He instead went as fast as his bruised ribs and sore back would let him to the kitchens. One of the other servants was standing over a large pot of stew. “What are you doing?” Merlin asked him.

“Cook has the flu, so I’m cooking the meals now. I’m not as good as she is, but somebody has to cook for these lazy nobles.”

“Hey, now. They aren’t lazy,” Merlin said as he filled a bowl with the stew and grabbed a loaf of bread.

“I’d like to see one of them come work the kitchens on a day like today when half the staff is out sick, and everyone still expects to be fed.”

“Come now, Joshua,” Merlin tried again, “We’ve all got it hard right now. I know that filling Cook’s position is not easy, but she’ll get better, and…”

“And what? I go back to my position of lighting all the fires in the fireplace and carrying flour sacks. I don’t know how you always have such a good attitude.”

Merlin grabbed some fruit and put it on Arthur’s tray. “It could be much worse. You’ve heard how Cenred treats his servants.”

Joshua shivered. “You’re right. I’m just in a bad mood, and I don’t feel good.”

Merlin placed his newly filled tray on the table and put a hand to Joshua’s forehead. Joshua flinched but didn’t pull away. “I think you’ve got a fever. It’s probably best if you go see Gaius.”

“I’m just hot from standing over the stove.” Joshua then smiled at Merlin, “Thanks for caring, though.”

Merlin smiled back and awkwardly picked the tray back up and attempted to balance it on his good arm so he wouldn’t further aggravate his burn. Merlin then made his way quickly to Arthur’s room.

Arthur was sitting up at his desk but looked up angrily when Merlin came through the door. “Still don’t know how to knock?”

“You try knocking with a full tray of food,” Merlin said as he placed the food on Arthur’s table.

“Where have you been? I expected food ages ago.”

“Oh, I don’t know, sire,” Merlin nearly spit the last word, “maybe I was doing all the work you told me to do. I’ve mucked out the stables, dropped off and picked up your laundry, helped Gaius gather ingredients to help people try to get over this affliction on Camelot, and got you your meal. I didn’t even start out first thing this morning.”

Arthur scoffed. “Don’t act like you’ve done anything big just by doing your duties.”

Arthur’s quips typically rolled right off Merlin, but at this point, his ribs gave a particularly painful throb which shot straight to his already aching head. Merlin closed his eyes to get the pain under control. “Of course not, sire,” Merlin said quietly.

When he opened his eyes, he was surprised to see Arthur much closer to him than previously. He had come around his desk and was eying Merlin suspiciously. “Are you getting sick now, too? You went really pale for a moment. Well, paler than usual anyway.”

Merlin plastered a goofy smile on his face. “Of course not, sire. No problems besides working for an absolute prat.”

Arthur continued to look at Merlin closely. “You know, I could have you locked up for insubordination.”

“Why don’t you then? It would be nice to have a break.”

Arthur’s eyebrows raised and he turned to go back behind his desk. “You really don’t know how good you have it. Break’s over then. Get back to work.” Arthur grabbed a few papers and then went to the table to peruse them as he ate.

Merlin went out to the hallway to bring in the clothes he had left beside the door. Ferren came running up to him with a shirt that was obviously Arthur’s. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t give this to you earlier,” she said between coughs.

“Catch your breath,” Merlin told her as he took the shirt from her. “It’s not a big deal, I could have gotten it the next time I went to the washroom. Arthur has plenty of shirts. I should know; I’m the one who chooses which one he wears for the day.”

Ferren nodded and held her hand out to the wall to steady herself as she continued to cough. “I didn’t know if it was the prince’s favorite or something, and I didn’t want you to get in trouble.”

“No, trouble, Ferren. Slow your breathing. That’s right.”

Ferren stood back up from her hunched position as the coughing fit subsided. “You’re so nice to me,” she said as her eyes rolled upwards and she began to fall back.

Merlin dropped the shirt in the basket and reached out to catch Ferren. The sudden movement pulled at his stitches yet again and he caught her right on the burned place on his arm. His ribs felt like they were on fire once again, and Merlin fought his own wave of dizziness. He didn’t need to go down as well. As he eased her gently to the floor, he knelt beside her and called out, “Help!” Soon a knight was standing near him and Arthur’s bedroom door had been flung open.

“I think Ferren has the flu,” Merlin told the knight. “She was coughing before she fainted. I think she also has a fever. Can you get her to Gaius?” Merlin asked the knight.

Ferren’s eyes fluttered open. “I’m okay, I just lost my breath,” she said in a small voice. Merlin looked up at Sir Joren and shook his head softly. Sir Joren nodded and picked up the scullery maid as if she weighed less than one of Arthur’s feather pillows.

“Really, Merlin,” Arthur scoffed from his chamber door. “I thought something really bad had happened the way you screamed like a girl.”

Merlin rolled his eyes and braced himself against the wall to stand. “With respect, sire, having her faint on me is a big deal. Some of the villagers I saw were quite young and a few didn’t make it. Ferren has a rattle in her chest that is worrisome.”

“So, you saw to the villagers while Lance hunted the boar?” Arthur said somewhat chagrined.

Merlin reached down and grunted as he picked up the clothes basket. “I helped Lance some, too, but yes, I did attend to the villagers. This flu is affecting the entire kingdom, sire.”

Arthur nodded and stepped out of Merlin’s way so he could bring in the clothes. “So, I was thinking, Merlin.”

“Don’t hurt yourself.”

“Stop that, I’m being serious. My floors don’t need to be cleaned today. Put away the clothes and then go help Gaius. More and more of my people are getting sick, and I need my physician to have all the help he can get.”

“What about the council meeting and polishing your armor?”

“It’s not a full council meeting because so many are sick. I can attend to myself there. As for the armor, I do need to show a strong presence to the people, but I doubt I will be doing that tomorrow morning. If you do it first thing tomorrow, then I should be in good shape to make an appearance by the afternoon.”

Merlin grit his teeth. Arthur had no idea how long it took him to polish that armor, and there was no way he would be able to do his other duties and clean the armor in the morning. Instead of saying this, Merlin just told him thanks and put away the rest of the cleaned clothes. Merlin went straight to Gaius.

Chapter Text

Considering he had not been gone for more than a couple of hours, Merlin was surprised to see the room overflowing with patients. “What happened?” Merlin said as he made his way around the people crowding the room.

“I’m afraid we’ve had another wave hit,” Gaius said before lightly coughing into his hand. Merlin looked at him gravely, hoping that Gaius had not come down with this as well. “I’m sorry, my boy, but I’ve had to turn your room over to the women. Lady Jane is in her final months of pregnancy, and I pray this malady will not harm her child. I currently have her set up in your room for privacy purposes.”

“Well, I’m here to help,” Merlin said as he grabbed a bottle of one of Gaius’s potions.

“You won’t help anyone with that. It’s an amazing pain reliever but decreases the respirations so the disease can set in more firmly. Right now, I need you to make sure everyone has some water and check to see who is the worst off. Those that can wait this out at home need to go there. Give them a dose of this,” Gaius gave Merlin a large brown bottle, “and tell them to come back if the fever gets worse or they have more trouble breathing. Then, I need you to help gather additional cots and bedding and take it to the small hall. If we are having another wave hit, then we will likely have even more patients there. And before I forget, how are you feeling, my boy? You look a little peaky yourself.”

“Just tired. Haven’t really slowed down since I got here, but don’t worry, Gaius.”

Gaius gave Merlin a small smile and turned to go to the other side of the room. Merlin began with the person closest to him and gave the man a cup of water as he examined him. His breathing was shallow interspersed with deeper breaths, but his pulse was regular and his wet cough had not seemed to have settled in his chest. Merlin gave him a dose of medication with Gaius’s instructions. The next man was too weak to drink the water provided. His breaths came in deep rattles and his fever caused his cheeks to flush red. Merlin helped to give him a dose of the medicine, but he didn’t send him anywhere.

That’s what Merlin did for the next few hours. Joshua made an appearance at one point, and Merlin administered the medication to him as well. Once the crowd had thinned some, and Gaius was no longer overwhelmed with the number of people in his chamber, Merlin walked out to join in the efforts in the small hall. He took a few bags of Gaius’s supplies with him so there would be less for them to carry later.

The castle steward was directing people on where to put additional cots and where patients could find suitable beds. Several of the recovered knights were helping. “Merlin!” he heard Gwaine call out. The knight’s voice sounded raw, but boisterous.

“Hey, Gwaine. I came to help. Gaius has a room full of patients that would probably be more comfortable in here.”

Lancelot came up behind Merlin and said low enough so only he could hear, “Are you sure you should be here? From what I saw before, you probably need to be one of those patients.”

Merlin turned back to Lancelot. “I told you, I’m fine. There are people dying of this flu. I’m not dying so therefore I can help. Didn’t Arthur give you a couple of days off? You shouldn’t be carrying those cots with your shoulder.”

“My shoulder is nothing compared to that slash or your sore ribs, and you know it. I think you need to tell Arthur that you’re hurt. I know the list of chores he’s laid on you.”

“Even if I thought we should tell Arthur, now is not a good time. He’s already over stressed about practically missing days while he was sick. I don’t want to bother him over something this minor.”

Gwaine decided that was the perfect time to get into earshot. “What are you two talking about?”

“Just about where to find more supplies. I brought some, but going by the number of patients that I sent home and how many more were coming, I don’t know if Gaius has enough.”

“We’ll worry about that later,” the castle steward said as he came up to Merlin. He shied away from talking directly to the knights, but Merlin was a servant like him. “We’ve got several more beds to pull out from our storage room from previous triages. I don’t even think they need to be aired out as it was not that long ago that we had them out when Lady Morgana decided to… well, that’s in the past. You know the room, Merlin.”

“Yes, sir,” Merlin declared and immediately turned around to get the beds. Lancelot and Gwaine followed behind him. By the time the trio had moved in the rest of the cots, Merlin was feeling every ache and pain and he had to tell himself several more times that he was not as sick as the ones who were to be occupying this room.

Gaius came in shortly after they were finally set up, and Merlin didn’t miss Gaius’s own pale visage and the coughs he hid in his sleeve. “Ah, Merlin, my boy,” Gaius said as he walked up to his ward. “I will be bringing those who can walk into here shortly, but I’m afraid Lady Jane requires more privacy and one-on-one attention than I can give in the clinic. I’m going to need you to sleep here for the time being and help out as much as you can. I will be going back and forth.”

“You don’t need to do that. I can be the one going back and forth,” Merlin offered.

“I’m afraid not. Lady Jane’s condition is precarious. She only trusts me with the care of the baby. I have every faith that you can take care of the ones here. I’ll be keeping those who are the sickest in my chambers. There will be others to help, of course. I don’t expect you to do it all on your own.”

Gaius coughed again into his sleeve, and Merlin looked at him somberly. “If you think that’s for the best,” Merlin agreed. “I’ll go back with you, get some more supplies and guide those who can walk back here.”

“Alright then,” Gaius said as he turned to walk back. Merlin didn’t miss the wheeze in Gaius’s breathing or the way he was moving slower than normal.

Guinevere met them at Gaius’s door. “Glad to see you back. Four more people have arrived. I started telling people to go to the clinic instead? Lady Jane said she felt her stomach tightening like the baby was coming, but I did what you told me to do for her last time, and I had her drink some water and lay on her left. She barely kept the water down, but the pains have stopped. Cook is now awake but is still feverish. I can’t tell if she is really better or just awake for a bit.”

“Thank you for the update, Gwen,” Gaius smiled kindly at her. “Merlin can take some of these other patients to the clinic now.”

Guinevere seemed to notice Merlin for the first time. “Oh, right. Well, I’ll help. There’s quite a few now.”

“Let’s examine the newcomers and see who is good to travel.”

Merlin and Gaius got to work looking over those that had not already been seen. At one point when Merlin’s arm began throbbing, he stole the pain medicine and took a small sip and put the rest in his coat pocket. Six people in Gaius’s chamber and two of the women that had been staying in Merlin’s room with Lady Jane were deemed well enough to go to the clinic. Merlin’s ribs ached and his arm burned as he helped hold one of the sick to walk. He almost went down himself, but his magic lashed out instinctively. His eyes went gold for a brief second, and the man he was helping became considerably lighter. Merlin’s head felt like someone had stabbed a sword right through both temples as soon as the magic happened, but he recovered almost as quickly as he felt it. The man he was carrying was too sick to notice, and because they were at the rear of the group going to the clinic, no one else noticed either.

By the time the sick were assisted to their beds, Merlin’s head was just a dull ache that was completely overshadowed by the sharp pain now in his ribs. “What’s wrong with you?” Gwaine said as he brought over a blanket to place over one of the newly arrived.

“Just a stitch in my side. Guy was heavier than I thought. Are you staying to help around here?”

“No, mate. Arthur has declared we will be going back to the training yard tomorrow. I have to find all my armor.”

Merlin looked up at his friend in bewilderment. “What do you mean ‘find your armor?’”

“Well, we haven’t had training for a little bit, and some of the girls at the tavern like a man in chainmail. It’s a long story, but I think I left my stuff with Tandy. I’ll likely need to do a little convincing to let me have it back. You’re always free to join the fun.” Gwaine wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Merlin, and Merlin laughed. When Gwaine wasn’t looking, Merlin took another generous swig of the pain medicine.

Several new arrivals had come since they had gone to Gaius’s so Merlin began to look them over. The rest of the evening kept Merlin busy by taking care of those that came in. Some weren’t flu related. He had to clean and dress a wound of someone with a rather large splinter from his cart. He helped a woman with a burn on her leg who dropped a bucket of boiling water while she was trying to fill a tub for her lady. A small child had gotten a rock stuck in his nose. Another child had fallen off a fence and had a cut on his arm that required stitches. Everyone else who came by were afflicted by the flu.

Guinevere had stayed to help and a few others were coming to help by either staying with their loved one or were else there under Gaius’s orders. Ferren came into the room while Merlin administered a dose of the brown medicine to an older man. She took the bottle from his hand to start administering to others there. “Ferren, what are you doing here? We left you in Gaius’s room,” Merlin said startled.

“I just needed some rest. I’m really not that bad.” Her statement was somewhat undermined by a bought of coughing, and when she caught her breath, Merlin pushed her to one of the open beds. “I’m really okay. I promise you,” she protested.

“Ferren, you need to rest. You won’t get better if you don’t let yourself heal.”

“Sounds like sound advice,” Lancelot said from behind Merlin, and Merlin spun fast enough that he fell back and landed on the bed almost on Ferren’s lap.

Merlin closed his eyes to let the dizziness and the pain subside before he stood up again. Merlin walked past Lancelot without a word. Lancelot followed, ready to tell Merlin once again that he needed to rest, but he stayed back when Merlin grabbed one of the free chamber pots and emptied the contents of his stomach. Lancelot rubbed Merlin’s back as he finished. “This is what I mean. Merlin, please lay down and rest.”

Chapter Text

“I will,” Merlin said weakly, “When I have time. Right now, I need to finish giving out the green tonic to those with fever, and the brown potion to those with a cough. This,” Merlin said, indicating the chamber pot, “is just because I got dizzy. I’m tired, this doesn’t mean anything, alright Lance?”

“Merlin, you’re pushing yourself too hard. I saw what that boar did to you. Then you get back to Camelot, and I don’t think I’ve seen you sitting once.”

“Trust me, Lance. I’m doing a lot better than some of these patients around here.”

“You’re also worse than some.”

Merlin closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Lance, I swear I’m fine. If you had bothered to look at anyone besides me, you would see that Gaius is getting sick, too. If he goes down then we don’t have a court physician and all of this gets a lot worse.” Merlin then looked up pleadingly at his friend. “I promise to rest once the worst of this has settled.”

Lancelot sighed and picked up a bottle from a table. “So green is for a fever, right?”

Merlin smiled, “Yeah, and brown for a cough.”

“Just so you know, this isn’t me agreeing with you. This is me giving in and helping in the hopes you will eventually be seen to and take care of yourself.”

“Don’t care the reason, just glad for the help. Looks like Johnson could use some brown potion.” With that, Lancelot turned to help distribute medicines while Merlin got rid of the chamber pot.

The late evening wore on slowly at times. Merlin found himself becoming more and more exhausted, but knew he had to keep going. He made a conscious effort to try not to let his weakness show to Lancelot, but he knew Lancelot could see the sweat on his brow and heard him stifle a few coughs as he braced his ribs. He had secretly taken a few more doses of pain medication when Lancelot wasn’t looking.

Gaius came to check on things a few times and found things going as smoothly as they could. Merlin noticed Lancelot looking at the physician with the same concern Merlin felt. Finally, all the current patients were either treated or rested and no new patients were coming through the door.

By the time Merlin would finally get to rest, the only beds available were the temporary ones that were simply tables with bedding on them. Merlin attempted to lay down, but his ribs and back protested the hard wood, even though it was cushioned by a thick blanket. On top of that, his head felt heavy. His nose probably weighed a stone by itself. And though he tried, Merlin just could not take a deep breath.

Just when he would start to doze, one of the patients would begin coughing and crying out. The exhaustion he felt did not help his dizziness, but he was the most qualified to help the ones in the clinic with the exception of Gaius, and Gaius had enough on his plate. True, some family and servants were helping as much as they could, but none were fully trained, leaving Merlin to be the one responsible.

The next morning, Merlin had barely gotten any sleep before his own coughing fit awakened him fully. He braced his ribs and nearly fainted from the sharp pains throbbing through his chest with each convulsive cough. He lost his breath and almost panicked when air did not seem to enter his lungs when he needed it to. He finally gasped air, thankful for the sudden ability to breathe while cursing the pain it caused. The incident left him shaky and lightheaded, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it.

He got up on wobbly legs as some others in the room eyed him wearily. Merlin began giving the patients another dose of the potions. Guinevere came in just as he administered the last dose. “Hey, Gwen,” he greeted.

“Merlin!” Gwen gasped. “You look terrible.”

“Thanks. I always thought I was at least a little handsome.”

“I don’t mean it like that. Merlin, have you slept?”

“A little. There was a lot to do. Are you staying here to help out? I need to go see to Arthur?”

“Yes, I’m here to help, and are you sure you need to go to Arthur? I’m sure I can ask him to give you the morning off so you can get some more sleep.”

“No need, Gwen. I wouldn’t be able to rest here anyway. I’m really fine. Much better than the patients here.”

“If you’re sure…” Gwen bit her lower lip in apprehension.

“I’m sure.” Merlin then began telling Guinevere about the patients and what he had found helped them the most throughout the night. He then left to get breakfast for Arthur.

Going up the stairs with the meager breakfast he had scrounged for Arthur caused Merlin to have a dizzy spell. Apparently, stairs were not his friend. He felt like he needed to cough again, but he didn’t want to jostle his ribs or his side. He instead tried to grunt the feeling away.

Merlin opened Arthur’s drapes and winced at the bright light shining through. He then set about waking the regent. “Come on, Arthur. Time to get up?”

“Why? I’ve been sick. Don’t I need my sleep?” Arthur whined.

“You were sick. You’re getting better, and you have duties to fulfill. Rise and shine.”

“Do you always have to be this cheerful in the morning?” Arthur asked. “Have you polished my armor yet?”

“Of course not! It’s still early.”

“Gah, Merlin,” Arthur sat up on the side of his bed and threw his pillow at his servant. Merlin grunted as he caught it, but otherwise did not show any sign that catching the pillow sent a hot poker through his side or made his burned arm throb. “I still need it polished. We decided at the meeting yesterday that tomorrow afternoon, I will address the kingdom. We will also be holding daily council meetings during this time for updates on the situation. I’ll need you to organize my notes.” Merlin nodded as he set up Arthur’s tray. “What is this?” Arthur asked as he looked at his breakfast.

Merlin looked up at Arthur in confusion. “Breakfast,” he answered.

“How is this breakfast? Where are the sausages? Eggs? All I see is a small piece of hard bread and a few berries.”

“Those berries were hard to find.”

Arthur picked up the bread as if looking to find more. “Where’s the rest of it?”

Merlin sighed. “Arthur, the kitchen is working on a skeleton crew. Cook is still sick and everyone is trying their best. Those that are down there right now are trying to figure out how to feed everyone. I grabbed what I could.”

Arthur had the decency to look suitably chastised. “I suppose this will do. My appetite isn’t fully back anyway.”

Merlin smiled and turned to look over the papers on Arthur’s desk. He began sorting out the appropriate documents Arthur would need for his council meeting while simultaneously writing notes for what Arthur should say in his speech for the next day. The task was usually easy enough if not monotonous, but with Merlin running on little sleep, the words wanted to swim on the page. Merlin found himself blinking until his eyes decided to stay closed.

“Really, Merlin?” Arthur said as he kicked the desk Merlin’s head was resting upon. Merlin startled awake with a paper stuck to the side of his face. “Have you even heard anything I’ve been saying?”

Merlin blinked rapidly, trying to get his bearings while trying to stifle a cough. “Sorry,” Merlin grunted.

“Just go. I know Gaius still needs your help. You would probably be better off with him than drooling all over my desk. Just don’t forget my armor and my floors still need scrubbing. Don’t worry about my midday meal. I’ll be eating in my father’s room. Just make sure you’re back in time to bring me supper and to draw my bath.”

Merlin nodded before getting up, trying to hide the fact that he was trying to brace his aching side.

Chapter Text

Merlin arrived at Gaius’s just to be asked to deliver medications to those that were not in the clinic and attempting to get over the flu in their homes. Merlin started out delivering in town and finished his last delivery in the castle. Once the last delivery was made, Merlin came back to Gaius and caught him coughing into his sleeve. Merlin eyed his mentor apprehensively until Gaius asked Merlin to go back to the clinic.

Merlin walked down the hallway until he came to a side hall that was mainly used by servants. Merlin slipped into the hallway and leaned against the wall. At first, Merlin had been too busy to pay much attention to his own aches and pains, but as the day drew on, his ribs refused to be ignored. Merlin thought he may have popped another stitch, but he had not had the privacy of his room to survey the damage. His head ached, and his arm burned. To top everything off, his chest felt heavy and his throat felt sore. Plus, he couldn’t help but feel cold constantly even though he wore his thickest jacket.

Merlin thought that if he just had some time to rest, then a lot of his ailments would be fixed. He shook his head to try to get rid of the now ever-present dizzy feeling. He didn’t have time to care for himself. Everyone was in a bad situation, and some were worse off than him. He couldn’t focus on his injuries when so much of Camelot was under duress.

Merlin pushed off from the wall feeling like the small break had not helped like he had hoped it would, but the pep talk he had given himself pushed him forward.

He entered the clinic to find several new patients. Some were ones who were previously in Gaius’s chamber, but no longer required his expert knowledge. Others were completely new. Merlin got to work assessing the new patients and determining who was well enough to finish recovering in the comfort of their own homes.

After several hours, Merlin sat down heavily and tried to take a deep breath though it made his ribs ache. For the last hour, he had been getting increasingly short of breath. Another wave of dizziness assaulted him and he closed his eyes tightly, willing it to pass before he threw up again. He had not eaten anything since the bread and cheese Gaius had him take the day before, and he had thrown up what had not already been digested.

“Are you alright, Merlin?” Guinevere asked as she came to sit next to him.

“You’re looking a little green,” Lancelot said while standing over him.

“Just tired. Do you two mind making sure the patients have enough water and blankets? I have some things I need to take care of.”

“Of course we don’t mind,” Guinevere said as she rubbed his back gently, “but what else could you possibly have to do right now?”

“I need to polish Arthur’s armor for one. The council meeting should be over soon, so I should have already scrubbed his floors. Arthur will also require his dinner. I would like to check on Gaius and see if he needs help in his chamber. These people here are not nearly as sick as those there.”

“Polish Arthur’s armor!” Lancelot cried incredulously while Guinevere yelled, “You’re kidding?”

“Arthur wants it by tomorrow morning. He’s already let me put it off several times already, but if I want it to get done at all, I need to start soon.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Guinevere stated. “I’ll talk to Arthur.”

“Please, don’t,” Merlin begged of her. “He’s still on the mend himself and will just get upset if he has to postpone his outing just because I need a nap.”

“A nap?” Lancelot squeaked.

“I know,” Guinevere said brightly, “I’ll ask George if he’ll do it.”

“George? The guy who always looks like there is a stick up his bottom?” Merlin asked.

“Merlin!” Guinevere admonished. “He’s actually really nice and he really enjoys polishing.”

“How can anyone enjoy polishing?”

“Never you mind. I’m sure he’ll be happy to help.”

“And what about Arthur’s floors?” Merlin asked.

“They can wait, and Arthur can just get over it. I can talk to him if need be, but if he insists on his floor getting clean, I’ll have the castle steward assign someone to that job.”

“Problem solved,” Lancelot said. “Now, you can get some rest.”

“I will. After I bring Arthur his meal and check on Gaius.” When Merlin noticed the dour look Lancelot was giving him, Merlin quickly added, “His cough is worrisome and I couldn’t rest without checking on him.”

“Fine,” Lancelot begrudgingly agreed, “but that’s the last thing you do before you rest or I will tie you down to one of these cots and force you to stay down.”

“Sounds kinky. Can I join?” Gwaine laughed as he came up behind Lancelot and draped an arm around the other knight’s neck.

“What are you doing here?” Merlin asked with a smile.

“Apparently, the princess thinks I was coughing too much in the counsel meeting and being purposely disruptive.” As if to illustrate his point, Gwaine began coughing. Merlin winced in sympathy at the wet sounding hacks. Lancelot hit Gwaine between the shoulder blades, trying to help. “He sent me here to get something for it,” Gwaine finished when his coughing settled.

“Last bottle,” Lancelot said as he handed it over to Gwaine.

“Thanks, mate. You know, I think I’m just going to go back to my quarters. Don’t like to admit it, but I'm still not feeling my best.”

“That's a good idea. Don't want that cough getting any worse,” Merlin told the knight.

“Before you go,” Lancelot stopped Gwaine from leaving, “can you pick up Arthur's meal and drop it off? Tell him Merlin is busy helping Gaius.”

Merlin raised an eyebrow to Lancelot before turning to Gwaine to say, “You don't have to do that.”

“No problem, mate. It's on my way and it'll give me a chance to knick something to eat as well.”

When Gwaine walked away and Guinevere went to see about a patient, Lancelot looked sternly at Merlin. “You should take your own advice.”

Merlin eased himself up to standing but had to hold his side to do so. “I said I would rest after I've seen Gaius. Besides, we're out of cough medicine now. When I check on him, I'll grab more supplies.” Another patient called out and Merlin looked pleadingly at Lancelot for him to go see to that person. Lancelot sighed and walked away as Merlin began his trek to the physician’s quarters.

Chapter Text

As soon as he walked in Gaius’s scratchy voice said, “Thank goodness you are back, Merlin. The potion in the fire needs to be stirred before it scorches, these buckets need to be refilled with water, and Sir Gareth needs to deep breathe and be beat upon. Lady Jane is having contractions again, and I'm doing my best to keep that baby in until it's actually ready for the world.”

“Right, Gaius,” Merlin said as he began stirring the potion on the fire. As soon as he was sure the potion wasn't going to burn, he gathered the buckets to refill them. The empty buckets were bad enough but filled seemed to make parts that weren't hurting before sting with the effort.

That task completed, Merlin sat next to the short-statured knight and encouraged him to take deep breaths. The knight immediately began coughing. Once Merlin was satisfied with the number of deep breaths, he had the man lay prone so Merlin could beat his back to try to break up the congestion in his lungs.

This was worse than carrying the buckets. Each hit reverberated through Merlin's chest, and he just knew that he had popped another stitch. The burn on his arm sent shockwaves of electric pains all the way past his shoulder into his neck and the base of his skull. Gaius usually liked for patients to be beat up on for at least a count of 300, but after 50, Merlin felt lightheaded and the edges of his vision were going dark. The room spun around him until he ungracefully dropped onto the bench seat at the table.

He thought someone asked him if he was alright, but his ears were ringing too loudly to know for sure. The room began to settle around him and the clanging in his ears became a low thrum. He was nervous to look up in case the room decided to start spinning again.

“Are you alright?” the same voice as before pierced his hearing.

“Huh?” Merlin asked stupidly before finally peaking up to see a petite girl with black hair and green eyes watching him. She was pale except around her eyes and nose. Those were red, and Merlin was sure it was from wiping them so often. He recognized her as one of Lady Jane’s handmaidens. “Yeah, just really tired. Just came over me all of a sudden, but I’m fine now.”

The handmaiden looked at Merlin suspiciously before saying, “If you’re sure?”

“I’m sure I’m fine. Did you need something?”

“Gaius said he needs wild yam and Black Haw tincture and… something else. Valiant root, I think.”

“Valerian? Yeah, I’ll get it for him." Merlin slowly stood and made sure his legs would keep him up before walking over to Gaius's supply shelves. "How is Lady Jane?”

“Gaius said that the baby is still strong, but the mother is weakening. If she continues like this, the baby will be born too early to survive.”

Merlin handed her the ingredients as well as a bucket half full of water. “I know if there’s anything that can be done, Gaius will do it.”

The handmaiden turned her head to the side and looked Merlin up and down. “You’re the king’s manservant, right?”

Merlin shrugged, “Yeah, why?”

She just shook her head and turned to go back up the steps to his room. With her gone and the other few patients in the room sleeping, Merlin set about to finish the potions that Gaius had brewing. Standing next to the fire helped keep his front warm, but his back felt like he was freezing. Merlin found himself turning away from the fire to pour up the bottles of potion. By the time Merlin had filled twenty bottles, Gaius came out and sat across from Merlin at the table. “Everything better in there?” Merlin asked.

“Better, but not out of the woods, I’m afraid.” Merlin could see the fatigue on his mentor. Gaius coughed wetly into his hand. Merlin handed him a bottle of the cough medicine he had just corked, and Gaius looked at him quizzically.

“Why are you giving me this?” Gaius asked.

“Have you heard yourself? You sound like you are about to cough up a lung.”

Gaius looked closely at his ward before saying, “You know, you don’t exactly look well yourself.”

“I’m a sight better than you. And younger! I can bounce back.”

Gaius raised an eyebrow at Merlin's statement, but decided not to argue the age issue. “This medicine is likely to tire me, and I need to be awake in case something happens to Lady Jane or one of the other patients.”

“I’m here right now. Take some medicine, take a nap. I’ll do what I can until you’re back to fit.”

Gaius looked at the bottle but refrained from uncorking it. “How about a compromise, my boy? I’ll go ahead and take a nap while you’re here, but I won’t take the medicine so you can easily wake me if I’m needed. While I sleep, you can brew the fever medication. By the time you finish that, that should be a long enough nap for me to take back over and then you can go back to the makeshift infirmary. Deal?”

“I wish you would take the medicine, but that seems reasonable enough.”

Gaius then stood and walked slowly to his own bed. Merlin finished bottling the cough medicine and began the fever elixir. When it came time for the potion to simmer, Merlin sat down and closed his eyes. He was almost dozing when he heard Gaius coughing. Merlin looked around and made sure the patients really were asleep before going back to Gaius’s bed. He could hear the wheezing in his chest without even having to get close to him.

Those in the village that he had been unable to save were Gaius’s age and older, and a sudden fear of losing his father figure overcame him. Merlin didn’t know if it was the right thing to do, but he held out a hand and whispered, “Ic þe þurhhæle þin licsare!”

The pain in his head overwhelmed his senses, and Merlin dropped to his knees. His whole body protested, and he felt his nose beginning to run. Merlin felt himself beginning to black out. He coughed and held his ribs and side. He felt the wet from where he had not restitched, and the oozing of the wound had made it through the bandages and to his shirt. His ears were ringing again, and nausea kept him grounded. He coughed up some yellow phlegm and took a few breaths as deep as his ribs would allow. His senses slowly started coming back to him, and he listened for Gaius. The wheezing was gone. Merlin leaned against a bookshelf and braced himself back to standing. As he looked at the physician, he was happy to see that he was appeared to be sleeping much more peacefully than he had previously.

Merlin made his way back to the table with weak legs. He was glad that he was able to help Gaius, but he couldn’t deny it anymore. Something was wrong with his magic. Every time he used it, his head felt like it was splitting open. Merlin was nervous, and he wanted to wake Gaius to ask him what it meant, but he decided the man needed his sleep. Merlin would wait until the flu epidemic had lessened and bring it up to him then if it had not resolved itself before that.

A few patients awakened while Merlin was brewing the fever potion, and he gave them as much water as they could handle. He would then give them some medicine and settle them back down. Once the fever elixir was complete, Merlin kept the deal he had made with Gaius and woke him up.

“I feel better than I have in weeks,” Gaius remarked upon waking. “I didn’t realize how much I needed that nap. Thank you, Merlin. Now, I suggest you go off and do the same. Doctor’s orders.”

Merlin smiled at that. Gaius did look better than he had even prior to Merlin leaving to go with Lancelot. “Will do. I’m going back now to claim a cot for myself. I’ll just grab some of these potions before I go.”

Merlin left with a bag full of medicine, worries about his magic, and relief that he would get to rest. Surely. if he had a nap like Gaius, he would feel better, too.

Chapter Text

Merlin didn’t intend to lie to Gaius, but when he made it back to the small hall, no cot was available. Some more patients had come in while he was with Gaius, and though none of them were particularly bad off, Guinevere didn’t want to turn them away without Merlin or Gaius seeing them first. The few who had come were now sleeping off the medication Guinevere or Lancelot had given them, and Merlin wasn’t about to wake them and send them home.

Guinevere informed Merlin that Lancelot had been summoned by Sir Leon for what she assumed had to do with guard duty and increased patrols with less guards. Merlin gave her a weak smile and began to lay out a blanket on the cold floor. He had slept many nights out on the cold, hard ground when he had been on trips with Arthur. He had even fallen asleep a few times on the stone floor of the castle. He was so tired at the moment that he didn’t think that sleeping on it again would be a problem.

Guinevere got him a pillow and informed some of the other servants that were milling about helping not to disturb him as she herself left to get some rest. Merlin tried to get comfortable, but the difference in every other time he had fallen asleep on the stone floor was that this time he had bruised ribs and an oozing side and a burned arm. His arm was really hurting. Way worse than his ribs at this point, and Merlin knew he needed to change the bandages, but he didn’t want the others to see the damage. He was also too tired to get up to get the bandages. He reached into his pocket and downed the last of the pain medicine.

It didn’t help him sleep, though. Laying down caused him to feel like he was smothering. He just couldn’t get enough air. The floor was cold and seeped through the flimsy blanket and seeped into his bones. He shortly began shivering. The shivering made him want to cough, but his ribs made him want to keep from coughing, so he would try not to, and end up coughing harder and longer to the point that a few times he thought his ribs had finally broken and punctured a lung.

Merlin was absolutely miserable. His nose was clogged, and he would try to lay on one side to be able to breathe, but that would just make one side of his nose worse. He ended up turning one way to another trying to be able to breathe. About the time he would find a good position for his ribs, he found he couldn’t breathe well enough to sleep. He would attempt to sit up which would make him cough which would hurt his side which would cause him to grunt in agony. His shivering just became worse as the night dragged on to the point that even the uninjured parts of him ached.

Whether or not he actually slept or just slightly dozed between bouts of utter discomfort and misery could not be determined. He felt hot and cold at the same time. He thought about attempting a spell or two to try to help, but he was unsure if his head, which felt three sizes too big and full of mud, could handle even the smallest spell.
Merlin was almost delirious by the time Joshua came and touched his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Merlin. I didn’t want to wake you, but I’m about to go to work and thought you could use my cot instead of the floor.”

Merlin slowly sat up and wasn’t sure he’d be able to speak through the soreness of his throat. “Thanks, Joshua, but you’re sick. You need to stay here. I’ll tell the kitchen staff when I pick up Arthur’s breakfast.”

“I’m on the mend now, but Merlin, maybe you should get in my cot and stay here yourself.”

Merlin smiled lazily at him, though the smile never reached his eyes. “I’m really alright. My throat is just a little sore from breathing in the dust from the floor.”

Joshua laughed. “Don’t let Merygale hear you say that. She takes pride in how well she cleans these floors.”

Merlin hated to admit how much he leaned on Joshua to get up, and he knew that anyone watching would have found them a silly sight: Merlin trying to stand while holding on to Joshua while also trying to keep pressure off his wounds. Joshua for his part, tried to keep him from falling back down, but Merlin’s weakened state did cause him to fall back down more than once while he got his unsteady legs back under him. “Sorry, foot fell asleep,” Merlin told him though he knew he didn’t believe him.

Merlin trudged his way to the kitchens with Joshua beside him. He thought he was walking on his own, but there were several times he used Joshua to prop himself up. Joshua looked like a lost puppy. He didn’t want to go against Merlin, but he could tell that the prince’s personal servant definitely was not well.

Merlin had somehow managed to gather a little bit of strength by the time he had gotten Arthur’s tray. Joshua had offered to take it for him or to find someone else to take it, but Merlin insisted that he needed to do his job and that they didn’t have staff available who weren’t sick.

Once again without knocking, Merlin entered the prince’s chambers. Merlin placed the tray on the table and went to pull back the curtains for Arthur, but the light made his eyes throb even more than previously, so he decided to keep the curtains closed before attempting to manhandle the prince awake.

“Time to get up,” Merlin said as he pulled back the covers from Arthur.

“No, it’s not. It’s still dark. Go away.”

“It’s dark because the curtains are shut. Now get up and eat your breakfast.”

Arthur sat up and looked around the darkened room. “Why haven’t you opened the curtains?”

“They were stuck. Come eat your breakfast.”

“Stuck? How can the curtains be stuck?”

“They wouldn’t pull back. Probably something wrong with the material getting snagged. I’ll have someone look at it. Now, it’s time for breakfast.”

Arthur got out of bed and trudged across the room to the curtains. He tried to move them back, but with an instinctive gold flash of Merlin’s eyes accompanied by a splitting headache, the curtains refused to move. “Hmm,” Arthur grunted. “They probably won’t move because you haven’t cleaned them recently. The dust and grime won’t let them move. Something else you need to do.”

“I’ll add it to my list,” Merlin said under his breath while tightly closing his eyes against the pain in his head. He had not meant to use magic, but sometimes his instincts took over.

“What was that?” Arthur asked.

“Nothing, sire,” Merlin replied as the headache eased. Merlin seemed to know that he was swaying slightly, so he leaned against Arthur’s bedpost. Being able to prop himself up made Merlin feel a little better. He was no long as focused on staying still.

“And what was that with sending Gwaine to bring me my supper last night? I said you could go help Gaius. I didn’t say you could not return.”

“There are a lot of people affected by this flu. Gaius needed all the help he could get.”

“Still not a good enough reason to send Gwaine.”

“I know you would have preferred Gwen, but she is much more helpful in the clinic than Gwaine ever thought of being.”

“So you send him to torture me?”

“Didn’t have anyone else to send. Are you going to sit down to eat?”

Arthur stopped his tirade and looked at Merlin. Even in the dim light, Arthur could see that Merlin looked haggard. “How bad is it right now? The flu, I mean.”

“Well, it’s hard to say. I left before the first wave got really intense, but it seems to be almost the same as the village. Just more people affected here.”

Arthur sat down and began to eat his breakfast while staring off as if deep in thought. Once Merlin had gathered enough strength, he began picking up things Arthur had strewn about in his room. Just as Merlin finished organizing the papers on Arthur’s desk, Arthur stood up and turned to Merlin. “Does Gaius need you today?”

“I’m sure he will. There weren’t any new patients overnight to the clinic, but he’s been so busy with Lady Jane that he’ll likely need help with the other patients. We have a few people helping right now. Gwen, of course, and a few other servants, but I think I’m considered the most trained,” Merlin said absent-mindedly as he lay out Arthur’s clothes for the day.

Arthur laughed loudly which resulted in his laughs turning to coughs, though not nearly as severe as those still sick or even Gwaine’s from the day before. “You are trained in something?”

“More trained than you,” Merlin said as he held up a shirt for Arthur.

“Oh, really," Arthur seemed to take offense. Arthur coughed into his hand, and Merlin struggled to keep his own coughs at bay. "How about you being the target at training today?”

“You know very well I meant training with medicine.”

“If you’re so trained, that means you can fix yourself after getting a boo-boo from having to hold up the shield.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “You know, when you’ve been sick, you’re less prat and more just complete ass.”

“What was that, Merlin? I hope it wasn’t treason from my personal servant.”

“Of course not, sire,” Merlin said dismissively.

Chapter Text

Merlin managed to grab an apple from the kitchens when he took back Arthur’s tray. He wasn’t exactly hungry, but knew he needed to eat. He also knew he had twenty different things he needed to do before going to the training yard, but he couldn’t find the energy to do it. He hoped the apple would give him a little bit.

Merlin swayed slightly and decided he needed to sit for a moment to let the dizzy feeling pass before he started his morning chores. He sat at one of the worktables in the kitchen and watched the skeleton crew working hard just to make enough stew and bread for the people in the castle.

He wished he could continue to ignore it, but Merlin felt horrible. He felt nauseous, but not enough to actually throw up. The cold that had seeped into his bones overnight never left, and every part of him ached. His back, previously injured when the boar pushed him against the tree, had been a distant thought compared to other injuries, but now hurt like he was an old man. His nose couldn't decided if it wanted to be stuffy or runny. He briefly wondered if maybe he should tell Gaius, but then thought about how much Gaius was already doing, and Merlin decided to wait until Gaius’s workload lessened.

No one paid any attention to Merlin sitting there and watching them frantically chop and stir and bake was almost hypnotic, and Merlin found himself nodding off.

“Merlin,” a voice said as a large hand came down on his shoulder causing sudden intense pain all through his side. The pain took Merlin’s breath away. As soon as he did take a breath, however, it was accompanied by a cough so fierce that he turned the color of milk as his ribs moved under his fingers. The pain made him nauseous again, and he hoped he would be able to keep down the apple. “Sorry, mate didn’t mean to startle you. Arthur was looking for you,” Gwaine said as he looked sympathetically at his friend. “If you need to go see Gaius though, I can tell him.”

Merlin shook his head. “No, I’m fine. Arthur wouldn’t believe you anyway. What time is it? Is it time for training?”

“Yeah. Look, no offense, Merlin, but I think the peas in that stew look less green than you.”

“You have a gift for exaggeration. Now, let’s go,” Merlin said as he stood and waivered on his feet until Gwaine put a steadying hand on his upper arm. Merlin didn’t miss the concerned look Gwaine gave him.

Merlin gently tried to push Gwaine's hand off his arm. When his hand didn’t budge, Merlin turned and started walking toward the training field hoping that Gwaine was going to follow. Gwaine held him back, however, “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Merlin, you look dead on your feet.”

This time, Merlin was more forceful as he pushed Gwaine’s hand off his arm. “I’m not that bad. Just tired, but show me someone in this castle who isn’t right now. Come on. Arthur will only get madder the longer both of us are missing.”

Gwaine shook his head and followed his friend out. More than once, Gwaine wondered if Merlin was going to fall over. He was slightly weaving, and Gwaine noticed how Merlin kept guarding his side. The trek was slower than usual, but Merlin was sweating like he had run a mile. Gwaine debated about whether he should run tell Gaius about Merlin. As much as Merlin denied it, he was not just tired. If he left him alone though, how much more trouble would Merlin find himself?

“There you are!” Arthur called out when they got there. “Had to get someone else to help me dress out for training, and don’t act like you were helping Gaius because those were the first places we looked. Right, time to get the shield.”

Lancelot, who had been standing nearby, charged over. “Am I right that Merlin is to be the target for training today?”

“Well, we need to get back to fighting strength. Best way to do that is a moving target. Get on with it, Merlin.”

As Merlin walked over to strap the shield on his arm, Lancelot walked beside him. “This is not a good idea. I’m going to get Gaius.”

“Don’t. Gaius is busy with Lady Jane and the flu patients.”

“And with you, too. I’m getting him.” Lancelot then turned and walked away. Merlin could only watch his retreating form as he grasped hands with Gwaine, nodded, and walked away. The two knight didn’t say anything to each other, but Merlin felt like an understanding passed between them.

“Where are you going?” Arthur called after Lancelot, but Lancelot was too focused on his task to answer.

Merlin placed the helmet on his head and started to strap the shield to his arm, but he was trying to strap it to his unburned arm and his fingers weren’t dexterous enough to complete the task.

He could hear Arthur huffing behind him as he decided to just deal with the pain and strap across the burn. “Arthur, we’re all still getting over the flu. Don’t you think we should use practice dummies for now?” Gwaine said as Merlin tightened the strap.

“The only way to get back into peak fighting condition is to train effectively,” Arthur answered before calling for Merlin.

He trudged out to the field to ready himself for Arthur’s onslaught. More sweat beaded on his forehead as some dripped down the side of his face. Strangely, though, he felt cold everywhere except his arm. His arm felt like it was simultaneously on fire and numb. His ears started ringing again, and his breathing became short and shallow.

“Ready, Merlin,” he heard Arthur call out and he lifted the shield as much as he physically could, which was barely high enough to cover his chest. The first hit sent electric shockwaves of molten fire through his arm and up to his shoulder and skull. His ribs rubbed and his wound felt like it was tearing him in half. The second hit his helmet and the ringing in his ears intensified. He may have been hit again, but all he knew beyond the sensation of falling was Gwaine calling his name.

Chapter Text

“Really, Merlin. That was too easy. You’re as out of practice as the rest of us,” Arthur chided from above his servant. “Alright, get up and see if we can’t do this better.” Arthur waited for Merlin to start moving, but when he didn’t, Arthur kicked Merlin’s boot with his own. “Up you get. No time to be lazy.” Merlin continued to lay unmoving on the mud.

Gwaine ran past Arthur to stoop down next to the fallen manservant and remove his helmet. The man was out cold, and Arthur couldn’t help but notice the pallor of Merlin’s face. Arthur removed a glove as he knelt on the other side of Merlin in order to lightly slap Merlin’s cheeks, but with the first touch of his hand to Merlin’s face, Arthur felt the heat radiating from him. “What is going on here?” Arthur asked no one in particular. He felt on the edge of panic.

“Get that shield off him,” Gaius ordered as he shuffled his way toward them being closely followed by Lancelot.

Arthur immediately began to obey. “He hurt his arm, too. Burned, I think,” Lancelot said as Gaius moved Gwaine out of his way and Lancelot moved Arthur.

“Just what is going on here?” Arthur demanded more forcefully, desperation leaking into every word, as Gaius pushed up Merlin’s sleeve revealing a dirty bandage.

Gaius and Lancelot ignored him as Gaius unwound the bandages revealing the burned skin beneath. Arthur wasn’t an expert on burns, but he knew that had to hurt. The thought of Merlin having strapped a shield to that arm was sickening. “How did that happen?” Arthur asked futilely as he felt the blood leave his face and his stomach drop.

Gaius then began to pull up Merlin’s tunic to see more bandages beneath. Blood old and new discolored the bindings. Arthur was completely flabbergasted. What exactly had happened to Merlin? “We need to get him back to my chambers immediately. I’ll unwrap and clean the rest when we get there.” Gwaine and Lancelot grabbed a stretcher usually used to get injured knights off the field and shifted Merlin onto it. They then quickly carried Merlin away.

“Will anyone tell me what the hell is happening?” Arthur yelled after them.

Elyan came up behind Arthur and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You got me, but something tells me it’s more than the flu.” Arthur continued to stare off in the direction they had carted off Merlin. “So, training canceled then? –Right?” When Arthur didn’t answer, Elyan just said, “Right,” and turned to walk away.

Arthur stared after them trying to wrap his head around what had just happened. Once the stunned disbelief left him, all he felt was frustration and anger.

He started toward the physician’s quarters and was almost there when Leon came up to him. “Sire, we have apprehended some looters who are asking for an audience with the king. Obviously, King Uther is unavailable, so you–”

“Not now,” Arthur said. He marched up to the physician’s quarters and didn’t bother knocking. Leon followed closely behind him.

“Sire, they are saying the cost is too steep, and cannot possibly pay. We cannot keep them in the—“ Leon stopped as soon as they charged into Gaius’s chambers and saw Merlin laying on the patient bed.

Some of Arthur’s anger dissipated as he watched Gaius rewrapping Merlin’s arm after having already rewrapped Merlin’s whole torso. Lancelot was helping as Gwaine stayed back watching nervously. Other patients in the room were either sleeping or watching anxiously. Once Merlin was settled, Gaius gave Lancelot a bucket with some water and rags and encouraged him to sponge Merlin to try to get his fever down. Then Gaius turned to the prince. “You have questions?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah, I do,” Arthur said stupidly, and then realizing how he sounded, he held his chin up and pushed his chest out before asking, “Can anyone tell me what the hell happened?”

“He was hurt by the boar,” Lancelot said as he wiped sweat from his friend.

“He was? But neither of you told me,” Arthur whined as he stared at the bandages wrapped around Merlin’s middle. He felt sick to his stomach thinking about what might be underneath.

“Merlin didn’t want to bother you since you were just getting over the flu,” Lancelot defended.

“He also did not tell me,” Gaius said scoldingly toward his ward.

“He didn’t want to add more to your plate,” Lancelot said to the older man.

“What is his condition now?” Arthur asked while trying to keep the concern out of his voice, but his face betraying his thoughts.

“Looks like he has a few broken ribs, a wound on his side that appears was stitched closed and then reopened, and the burn on his arm. The burn on his arm and the wound on his side are showing signs of infection. Adding to his condition, Merlin appears to have caught the flu, but I can only go by people informing me of his coughing fits. The fever could be either flu or infection related. The shallow breathing could be rib or flu related. It’s hard to tell which is affecting him the worst at the moment.” Gaius then walked back to Merlin and ran his fingers through Merlin’s black hair lovingly. “What’s this?” Gaius asked as he encountered a large lump on Merlin’s head.

“I forgot to mention that he hit his head as well. It didn’t seem to be affecting him like his other injuries, so I forgot it,” Lancelot answered solemnly.

“But he’s going to be alright? I mean, that burn looked bad, but not the worst I’ve ever seen. And a broken rib or two is not fatal,” Arthur asked, knowing that his concern was leaking through and not entirely caring.

“I can only hope that his own stubbornness that caused him to become this bad will be the same stubbornness to pull him through. I agree sire, broken ribs are not an immediate death sentence. Neither is his burn. But the infection was left untreated…” Gaius trailed off. “Now we have to add head wound into the list so I can’t be sure if he’s concussed, I don’t know yet how he is going to fair.”

“Wha? Where?” Merlin began to stir.

“Merlin, you’re in Gaius’s chambers. You collapsed during training,” Lancelot explained to the glassy eyed man looking up at him.

Merlin nodded then squeezed his eyes shut as if the movement hurt. “I guess I can stop denying it now, huh?” Merlin coughed.

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have ever denied it. If I ever again let you convince me you are fine when you are clearly not—” Lancelot let the threat die before finishing it, but Merlin seemed to get the point.

“Tell me what hurts the most, my boy,” Gaius asked.

“Arm sometimes the worst. Ribs and side about the same. Head mainly when I use ma… wait? Gaius’s chambers?” Merlin’s eyes widened and he tried to sit up, but Gaius and Lancelot kept him down. “There are sick people who need to be cared for. I can’t take a bed from one of them.”

“You are one of the sickest patients I have right now, Merlin. Now calm down,” Gaius said as he struggled against Merlin. Gwaine stepped in to help hold Merlin down.

“We have to go get the boar! Lance, Arthur’s sick and if we don’t get the boar, he’ll try to come out and kill it himself whether he’s sick or not.”

“We got the boar. The boar is dead,” Lancelot explained calmly though he continued to fight Merlin to keep him from sitting up.

“Gwaine, Gwaine! You have to stop Arthur! He’s going to get himself killed! It’s a questing beast!”

“Arthur’s fine,” Gwaine said to him.

“I’m right here,” Arthur said as he stepped closer to the delirious patient. “No plans to go fight a boar or a questing beast or any creature.”

Merlin immediately calmed. “Oh good.” Merlin’s eyes closed and he became suddenly much more peaceful.

“Um, Gaius?” a young girl said as she poked her head out of Merlin’s room. When she saw the prince in the chambers, she immediately diverted her eyes and appeared much more timid. “Um, my lady, she um, she is having more trouble breathing. I tried sitting her up, but um, she says that, well, that makes her belly hurt. Like, you know, the baby wants to come. I have given her the medicine you left in here, but it doesn’t appear to be working. So, um, I know you’re busy and everything with the, um, prince, but my lady wished me to fetch you. Sorry.” The girl turned and ran back into the room, shutting the door behind her.

“Go to her. I’ll stay with Merlin,” Lancelot told Gaius.

“We’ll stay with Merlin,” Gwaine included.

“I can stay, too,” Arthur offered, a little too eager.

Leon, who had been standing quietly behind Arthur spoke up. “Sire, I know you want to be here, but we do need you to hold court. We cannot keep the looters in the dungeons indefinitely.”

Gaius turned to stare meaningfully at Arthur, “You have a kingdom to run. A kingdom that needs a solid ruler now more than ever. You can’t spend all your time here.”

“But…” Arthur began to protest.

“Merlin won’t be alone,” Lancelot said.

“And I won’t stop you from visiting, but you can’t stay. I expect to see you again soon, but for now, I need to see to Lady Jane,” Gaius explained.

Arthur looked like a kicked puppy until he noticed the others in the room looking at him. More than his knights, Gaius had other patients, and Arthur had an audience. Arthur held his chin up and swallowed before saying, “You seem to have enough help at the moment. I’m just going to…” Arthur put a thumb up to indicate he was leaving, but before he walked out, he added, “Keep me updated. On the whole situation, I mean. With all the patients.”

Chapter Text

Arthur went back to his chambers to change out of his armor so he could hold court for those arrested, but he found himself looking around his empty room. He knew that Merlin had not been the one to polish his armor. He had planned to rib Merlin about it later, but now–

Merlin was sick and injured. How had he not known? Arthur had seen how rough Merlin had looked. He had just assumed that Merlin was tired from helping Gaius. Merlin had insulted him with the name many times in the past, but this was the first time that Arthur actually felt like a prat.

He just kept asking himself over and over: how had he ignored everything wrong with Merlin? Then he moved on to how had Merlin been able to hide it? Then he gave up on trying to figure out anything for the moment.

He paced his room stopping here and there as if remembering Merlin in different areas of the room. He closed his eyes tightly as he remembered telling Merlin he was going to be the target. Why had he done that? He knew Merlin meant he was trained as a physician. Why did he want to use him as the target?

Merlin wasn’t there to help him take off his armor and he didn’t feel like finding someone to help him, so he left for the great hall to see to the looters. He didn’t want to use the throne room just yet, and there was no need to call in full court. A few knights and the accused were all that would be there.

If he were his father, they would have all been imprisoned and fined, but Arthur was not Uther. He saw each accused separately so they could plead their case. He kept hearing Merlin’s voice guiding him to do the right thing. In the end, he made three of the eleven involved pay money to the crown and two spend overnight in the dungeon. Three would be placed in the stocks, and the other three just had to pay back what they had stolen. Each punishment was given based on the individual, how much responsibility they were taking, and just how much they had stolen. He hoped Merlin would approve of his decisions.

When that deed was completed, Arthur asked another servant to help him remove his armor before he went to visit his father. Arthur felt inadequate as a king, but now he felt inadequate as a friend, too.

Merlin had been hurting, and Arthur had just ignored him. Merlin looked so exhausted, and Arthur cared more about training than he did Merlin’s health. Arthur berated himself as he walked to his father’s quarters.

Arthur just sat with Uther in the king’s room, and for the first time, Arthur was glad this was a quiet day for his father where all he would do was stare out the window. “Father, I am not ready for this,” Arthur admitted. Uther remained mute without acknowledging his son in the chair beside him. “I always thought I was ready to be king, but I was wrong. How can I run Camelot if I don’t even know what is happening around me? What would you do if you caused an innocent person harm?”

Though Uther continued to stare out the window, Arthur imagined what he would say. “People get sick and hurt every day. You can’t blame yourself for every ache and pain of every person in Camelot.”

Arthur shook his head. His father probably would not have even said that much, but Arthur pretended as if he did. “What if that person is important?”

Uther’s imaginary voice said, “Is he nobility? Will his harm cause a war? No. Then why are you concerned?”

“This person has become special to me. Someone I turn to for advice. He was hurt and sick and I didn’t notice. Instead I pummeled him to the point he passed out. Gaius can’t even tell me what his chances are. It’s my fault. How can I be a good king if I can’t even be a good friend?”

As much as Arthur tried to avoid the term, he did feel like Merlin was a good friend. He was loyal to a fault and always told Arthur exactly what he needed to hear even if he didn’t want to hear it.

“Kings don’t have friends. They have advisors and the people they rule over.”

Arthur decided not to say anything else or to imagine his father speaking anymore. The silence allowed Arthur to wallow in his own guilt. Merlin was sick and injured and Arthur made him worse. Had he known, he never would have had Merlin come out to the training field.

Or strap on that shield! He put that over a burn. The flesh under that bandage was raw and wet with yellow drainage. The thought of that burn made Arthur sick to his stomach yet again.

What if Merlin died? The thought made Arthur’s heart pound beneath his breastbone. What if he couldn’t survive this? What would Arthur do? Arthur couldn’t imagine life without Merlin.

Arthur stared down at his hands. Those same hands swung the sword that brought Merlin down. How could he live with himself if Merlin didn’t survive? Before Merlin, Arthur’s longest lasting servant had gone a month before quitting. Somehow Merlin had stayed. He had put up with Arthur’s brash behavior and didn’t treat Arthur as a prince.

To Merlin, Arthur was just another person. Arthur didn’t think he needed that, but he did. It was refreshing to find someone who didn’t grovel or treat him as special. Merlin had instead gotten to know Arthur as the person, not as the prince. He became someone Arthur relied upon. Merlin became someone Arthur needed.

Arthur had never said anything to the knights or Guinevere, but he had imagined ruling Camelot with Merlin by his side. He had never imagined him in a position of authority, but he would still be there, next to him, listening to him, guiding him in his own unique way. Was that even possible now?

“Arthur,” he heard Gwen’s voice from behind him.

Arthur didn’t turn to see her. He just swallowed before saying, “Did you hear?”

“Yes,” Gwen acknowledged softly. “It’s not your fault.”

Arthur closed his eyes, finding wetness pooling in the corners and trying his hardest to remain manly. Rulers of kingdoms do not cry, especially over servants. “You weren’t there,” Arthur said, not being able to keep his voice from hitching.

Guinevere came running to kneel in front of him. She grasped his hands and looked up at his face. “I didn’t have to be there to know it’s not your fault. It’s more my fault than yours.”

Arthur looked mildly surprised at Guinevere’s admission. “How could it possibly be your fault?”

“I have been working with him in the clinic. I saw him getting sicker. I didn’t know how bad he was, but I never should have let him keep going. I also knew how tired he was, and when he went to help Gaius, I ended up filling all the cots in the clinic so Merlin didn’t have a good place to sleep, and he had to sleep on the floor. I should have kept at least one cot open for him.”

“And where would the patients have gone?” Arthur asked.

Gwen shrugged. “Home, maybe. I don’t know, but Merlin needed—“

“Merlin would not have wanted to turn someone away on his account. This is not your fault.”

“Just like this is not your fault.”

“I had him doing things no one in his state should be doing. I beat him to the ground, Guinevere. That is much worse than giving a sick person a bed to sleep in. I had him strap a shield to a burned arm, put a helmet on a possibly concussed head, and defend himself against me. If he had just told me, I wouldn’t have ever—.”

Merlin didn’t want to worry you,” Gwen said as she rubbed Arthur’s hands.

“Merlin might be a self-sacrificing idiot, but there was no reason for him to allow me to hit him, not unless he was afraid of me or something.” Arthur looked aghast. “Is Merlin scared of me? Do I bully him too much? I always thought it was good natured fun, but have I gone too far?”

“Arthur, stop,” Gwen demanded. “Merlin is not scared of you. Do you go too far? Sometimes. We all do; Merlin too. That doesn’t make him fear you.”

“I should have noticed he was sick. I have gone over the past days over and over in my head. He looked tired, but I didn’t know he was injured. I just made him worse. I saw little things here and there, and I should have added them up.”

“How could you have?”

“I should have thought about how tired he was and not added to him. I knew he was working as my manservant and helping Gaius. I could have just given him time to just help Gaius. A king should put his citizens first.”

“Arthur, you are becoming a good king, and Merlin knows this. That’s why he didn’t want to worry you. It’s why he didn’t tell you. It’s not your fault.”

“If it’s not my fault and it’s not yours, whose fault is it?” Arthur asked desperately.

“Maybe, and don’t get mad at me, maybe Merlin is the one at fault.”

Arthur pulled his hands out of Guinevere’s and grasped the arms of the chair he was sitting on. “Don’t blame him?”

Guinevere bit her lip before continuing softly, “He was injured and made the decision not to tell anyone. He was getting sick and made the decision not to tell anyone. His injuries were becoming infected, and he made the decision not to tell anyone. Anyone includes you. You didn’t know, so stop blaming yourself.”

“Well, don’t blame him either.” Arthur was squeezing the arms of the chair so tightly that the wood creaked as if it were about to pull apart.

“Then maybe it’s no one’s fault,” Gwen said placatingly.

“There has to be someone to blame,” Arthur said as he let go of the chair and held the back of his neck.

“If someone is to blame, it’s not you,” Guinevere said, placing a tentative hand on his knee.

Arthur placed a hand over hers. “I don’t believe that, but thank you.”

Chapter Text

By the evening, many of the other patients were either well enough to move to the makeshift clinic or they had gotten worse. Gaius flitted around from one patient to another, but his attention was always partially on Merlin. Both Lancelot and Gwaine had decided to take watching over Merlin in shifts so that someone could be with him constantly since Gaius had to be other places. When Gwen had heard what happened, she came and offered to sit with him as well after she went to talk to Arthur.

When Lancelot was the only one directly with Merlin, Gaius asked him quietly enough that no one else could hear. “Did it sound to you like he was about to say his headache worsens when he uses magic?”

“I thought that might be what he was about to say. I can’t be sure though.”

“I need you to tell me exactly how the boar was defeated.” Lancelot then told Gaius all that he could remember. Lancelot was embarrassed that he only now was telling Gaius everything. He should have done it the moment they returned no matter what Merlin said. Gaius shrewdly listened to everything Lancelot had to say. “So Merlin used a storm and lightning?”

“He said he had done it once before.”

“That is true. He definitely has. I was there for it. In fact, he did it to save my life, but I wonder…”

Merlin decided that was the perfect moment to awaken and look at his friend sitting next to him. “Lance? How is your shoulder?”

Lancelot looked down at Merlin and smiled sadly. “Shoulder is fine. I barely feel it. How are you feeling?”

“I think I swallowed a sword. My chest feels heavy, and it’s a little hard to breathe. Did I almost drown or something?”

“No,” Gaius answered, coming to Merlin’s other side so he could be seen. “You are sick and injured from fighting the Calydonian boar.”

“Yeah, I remember that.”

“And then you didn’t get treatment, you silly boy.”

“Didn’t want to be a burden,” Merlin said breathlessly.

Gaius shook his head. “You are never a burden. A frustrating, stubborn, silly fool, but not a burden. Tell me Merlin, does your head hurt?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. It feels really full and swimmy, but it mainly feels like a hot poker in my head when I use magic.”

“That’s what I was afraid of. Why didn’t you come to me sooner?”

“You were busy.”

Gaius held a vial of potion to Merlin’s lips, and he drank it without complaint though the look on his face spoke of how vile it tasted. Gaius then looked up at Lancelot. “I’m going to go check on the patients in the clinic. Try to get at least two cups of water in him before he goes back to sleep. We need to keep him hydrated.”

Lancelot propped up Merlin to try to get more water into him. “I should have never let you get this bad,” Lancelot said more to himself than Merlin.

Merlin slightly shook his head. “You didn’t do this. It was a boar.”

“I allowed you to become this bad.”

“I didn’t know it was this bad, how could you?”

Lancelot gave Merlin a sad smile before he did as was asked of him, though the second cup was much harder than the first because Merlin kept dozing off. By the time Merlin was fully asleep again, Gaius had returned. “Why did you say you were afraid of Merlin having a headache when he uses,” Lancelot whispered as he looked around at the few patients left, but they were all asleep, “magic?”

“I can’t be sure," Gaius answered in his own hushed whisper, "but Merlin used the storm and the lightning before to take the life of Nimueh to save my life. The purpose of that spell is to create balance. If Merlin took a life without saving one, then the magic of the spell might be rebelling in order to be completed.”

“Is that even a thing?” Lancelot asked skeptically.

“Maybe. He could also just have a headache from a concussion. I think that if that were the case though, his headaches would not be made worse by magic.”

“But he saved me from the boar. Does that not count?”

“You weren’t dying or dead at the time. I think that is what counts.”

Lancelot looked around at the other patients in the room, many of whom were nearing the end of life. “Gaius, do you think that maybe if he helped one of these people, that would help him?”

Gaius looked around at the same people Lancelot had looked over. “Maybe. Next time he wakens, we can ask him to see if he can do it. For now, we need to treat his other ailments.”

Chapter Text

Gwaine stayed by Merlin’s side through the night while Gaius napped here and there. Merlin woke a few times, but he was delirious. His fever was getting worse, but they could do nothing more than sponging and trying to force water and medicine into him.

“What happened?” Merlin asked yet again when he awoke.

“You’re sick and injured. Now drink this,” Gwaine said as he tipped a cup of water up to Merlin’s lips.

Merlin struggled to swallow it down and barely managed to get some. “Arthur! Where’s Arthur?”

“I assume still in bed. It’s still morning and the princess likes his beauty sleep.” Gwaine then turned and coughed into his sleeve.

“You’re sick.”

“No, I’m better now. Just a cough left. Take some medicine.”

“Why is it so cold?”

Gwaine moved the blankets up higher on Merlin. They couldn’t cover him with as many blankets as Merlin wanted. His fever was high, and they didn’t want to add more heat to him. All they could do was tuck in what he already had. “Is that better?”

“Nevermind that,” Gaius said as he came bustling up to the bed with a basket of bandages. “It’s time to change his bandages.”

“Aren’t you going to give him something for pain before you do that?” Gwaine asked.

“I wish I could, but the pain medicine causes decreased respirations and I’m afraid the flu has already settled in his lungs. Decreasing his breathing will just allow the pneumonia to set in worse. We’ll do the worst of it first. Help me set him up.”

Gwaine shuddered as he watched Gaius unwrap the bandages. He had seen many battle wounds and he had seen them get infected, but seeing it on one of his few actual friends was disconcerting to say the very least. Merlin’s torso looked like one giant bruise and the gash in his side was red and puckered. Blood and pus oozed down Merlin’s side the moment the bandages were pulled away. When Gwaine had asked Gaius previously about stitching it again, Gaius had told him that sewing the infection up could end up being worse for Merlin. Instead, Gaius had tried to clean the wound before applying a salve to try to rid it from infection.

While they had Merlin set up, he began coughing. “I wish he could be beat upon,” Gaius said absently while he finished wrapping.

“What do you mean by that?” Gwaine asked as if he was ready to defend Merlin.

Surprisingly, the answer came from a drowsy Merlin. “Beating the back can help break up congestion in the chest.” Gwaine looked down at the frail looking man while helping Gaius lift his arm to begin unwrapping it.

“He’s right, but beating upon him now could cause further damage to his ribs.” Gaius tsked as he looked at the skin around the burn. “He’s lost some circulation around here. See? I need to get the leeches.”

Gwaine looked utterly lost as he watched Gaius gather the black, slimy creatures from a tank in the corner. Just as Gaius was placing the first leech and letting it attach, Arthur came walking in. His hair was disheveled and his eyes looked tired.

“Just came to check on things. Gwen says the clinic was able to send back several people yesterday who were well enough to go home.” Arthur then seemed to realize what Gaius was doing and he turned several shades of green and yellow. “Why does he need leeching?”

“Poor circulation around the burn, sire. Some of which I’m sure is due to the infection. Guinevere is right. Seems like our second wave infected more people, but fewer were sick for as long. That reminds me, I need to go check in on the king.”

“He’s still asleep. I was just there. So, um, besides the leeches, what else does he need? I mean, you need. To make everyone better?” Arthur continued to stare at Merlin’s arm where the third leech had been attached.

“Merlin was able to get me plenty of willow bark before he fell ill, but I’m almost out of honey, yarrow, and feverfew. If you could possibly have the knights who are patrolling near the forest keep an eye open for me, I would appreciate it.”

“Of course, Gaius. I suppose I had best be leaving now. Royal duties and all that… unless I’m needed here?” Arthur waited for someone to ask him to stay, but when no one responded to the bait Arthur threw out, he sighed and continued, “Let Merlin know when he wakes that I expect him to sharpen my sword. I think it’s getting a little dull.”

“Take it to the smith,” Merlin croaked.

Arthur’s eyes got big as he walked closer to Merlin’s bed so he was standing at the end of it. “You’re awake then?”

“Barely. You’re loud.”

Arthur smiled slightly before looking at Gaius once again. “Keep me updated.” Gaius nodded thoughtfully before Arthur turned and walked out.

Gaius then asked Gwaine if he could refill the water buckets around the room. While Gwaine was gone, Gaius leaned down to Merlin’s ear and quietly said, “Have you tried to do any magic lately? Tried to heal yourself?”

Merlin didn’t say anything at first, but barely moved his head to say no. Then, he hoarsely whispered, “Hurts too much to magic.”

Gaius nodded. “I think your magic is trying to complete the balance spell. There are several in here that are dying. Maybe if you were to save one of them, it might help you.”

“I don’t know how I do it?” Merlin admitted. “It was all instinct.”

Gaius nodded and picked up the leech that had just disengaged from Merlin’s arm. “Alright, my boy. We will continue to treat what we can.”

As predicted, that afternoon, one of the men in Gaius’s chambers died from the illness. Gaius had tried to get the man to breathe, but in the end, the man just couldn’t keep fighting. Merlin had gone from being fitfully asleep to being completely unconscious and was unaware of his surroundings. Lancelot was in the room when Gaius had declared the death, and the young knight hated to admit how much more scared that made him for his friend.

Arthur was once again on the training field with all the knights except Lancelot. They had only begun sparring when a couple of servants came out to get the stretcher- the same stretcher they had used previously to get Merlin to Gaius’s chambers.

“What is happening here? Why do you need that?” Arthur called out.

One of the men looked up sheepishly at Arthur while the other called out, “Gaius asked us to come get it to carry out the body.”

Leon whacked Arthur across the back as Arthur tripped forward. “Sorry, sire,” Leon said as he stepped back.

Arthur ignored him and looked up at the servants now balancing the stretcher between them. “Carry out the body? Whose body?” Arthur’s commanding voice sounded angry to anyone who didn’t know him, but Leon could hear an edge of panic in his question.

“We don’t know,” the other man cowered. “Gaius just said to come get it.”

Gwaine ran over to the two men and grabbed the stretcher from the shy man. “I’ll help you carry it up.”

Everyone could hear the apprehension in Gwaine. Arthur looked around to see no one was sparring anymore. They were all looking at the poor servants with the unfortunate task of being questioned by an anxious prince. Arthur waved his hand, “Go Gwaine. Find out who it is and come back.”

Gwaine nodded as he and the other two men took off toward Gaius’s chambers. Arthur couldn’t help but remember Merlin’s lifeless form on that stretcher before. No, not lifeless then. Unmoving, but alive. What about now? Would it be his lifeless form being carried out of the castle?

“I think I need to check on the situation of this epidemic,” Arthur said.

Elyan turned to his prince. “Training canceled again?”

Arthur didn’t answer. He just began walking away toward Gaius’s chambers. The others followed.

Gaius was only mildly surprised at the gaggle of knights entering. They could all see Merlin laying still on the patient bed. He was paler than bone making him appear almost skeleton-like beneath the blanket. He didn’t appear to be breathing. Lancelot was resting in a cot beside him.

“Update,” Arthur demanded.

Gaius raised one eyebrow before saying, “Merlin is no longer waking for water or medicines. We are trying to force some down without choking him or having it go directly to his already sick lungs, but it’s not an easy task.”

“But he’s still alive? Right?” Elyan asked from Arthur’s right.

The right side of Gaius’s mouth twitched but showed no other signs of amusement. “Yes. He is not well, but he still lives.”

The tension that the knights had brought into the room with them lessened considerably.

“Who is the stretcher for?” Arthur asked Gaius, much more relaxed than before.

“Sir Wendemier. I’m afraid he passed about one candle mark ago. Gwaine is already assisting Joshua with taking him to his family.”

Arthur lifted his chin as he said, “Sir Wendemier was a good man and a good knight in his youth. I will be sure to send my condolences to his daughter and grandson.”

As he finished, a loud shriek came from Merlin’s room. “Excuse me, sire. I must attend to Lady Jane,” Gaius explained. “While you’re here, do you mind checking on the others? One dose from the green bottle and one from the brown for everyone.” Gaius then turned away and went up the short amount of stairs expecting that his orders would be followed.

Arthur and the other knights looked at each other before they each spread out to the other patients in the room. They each checked on Merlin individually before leaving.

Arthur was the last to leave. As he stayed next to his manservant, he tried to work out what exactly his feelings were. He still felt guilt and shame, but he was also beginning to feel angry. When he was alone at night, he had tried to convince himself that Merlin wasn’t really that sick. He had just been working too hard. After some good rest, Merlin would show up early in the morning with some stupid greeting to start the day.

When Arthur awakened in the morning to find Merlin wasn’t there, the first thing he felt was disappointment before he began to get angry. He started out mad with himself, but as he thought about Guinevere’s words from before, the anger started winding its way toward Merlin. Seeing Merlin so sick kept the worry at the forefront so rage couldn’t take hold fully, but it was there, burning inside him. “You idiot,” Arthur sighed as he held Merlin’s hand, for once not caring if someone else in the room saw him.

When Lancelot woke up from his nap, Arthur left, still confused and still worried, and dare he admit it? Scared.

Chapter Text

That night, another patient died. Gaius didn’t try to bring him back. The man was elderly and had stated that he just wanted to go peacefully. Another patient came in just as he was covering that one. This patient was severely short of breath, and Gaius did what he could with steam and vapors to ease the person’s breathing before sending her to the clinic. He was so busy dealing with these patients that if Gwaine had not been there Gaius would have missed it.

Merlin’s eyes went wide and he started whispering in the old religion. His eyes remained blue, so if he was trying to say a spell, he was not successful. “What is he doing? What am I supposed to do, Gaius?”

“He’s delirious. Feel his head?”

“He’s burning up.”

Gaius grabbed several bottles of medicines and made his way to Merlin. With Gwaine’s help, they set him up and tried to force some of the potions down him. Merlin did not stop talking and choked a few times. Gaius could only hope they had gotten enough into him.

The morning did not give Gaius much confidence. Though Merlin had stopped his delirious ramblings, his breathing now rattled deep in his chest. His fever didn’t seem to be any better, and the way his brow tensed, Gaius believed his magic was trying to help him, but just caused more pain.

Gaius settled into a steady rhythm of checking on the patients at both his quarters and the clinic. The clinic had slowed up quite a bit, so Gaius was able to leave the care of most of the patients there to some volunteers and those that had already recovered. Lady Jane was doing much better, though she still had contractions occasionally. Everyone with the exception of a few were getting better. Unfortunately, Merlin was one of those few.

Midday had arrived before Arthur returned. Guinevere was sitting next to Merlin and trying to cool him off yet again. “How is he?” Arthur asked, forgetting that he was supposed to act like he didn’t care.

“He’s, um… well, he’s holding steady at the moment,” Guinevere answered. “Gaius said he has more going against him than he has in his favor right now.”

“I heard there have been some more deaths?”

“One yesterday and one last night here. There were a few in the town that had not sought help, and one who did seek help, but whose family knew he wouldn’t make it and wanted him at home with them.”

Arthur nodded and swallowed over a lump in his throat. “But Merlin is still going strong, I see.”

“Going, but not exactly strong,” Gaius said as he entered the door behind Arthur and put down his medicine bag on one of the few bare spaces on his table. “He is getting weaker.” Arthur looked closely at Gaius, and though the older man didn’t look sick, he looked tired. Gaius was always good at hiding his anxiety, a trait Arthur was sure was developed from his years as a physician. “Has he awakened any to try to get some sustenance?”

“He moaned a few times. I tried to wake him to get some water down, but he wouldn’t wake enough,” Guinevere answered.

Arthur touched Gaius’s sleeve and motioned that he wished to talk to him away from Guinevere. “Tell me truthfully. How is he really?”

“I’ve been truthful, sire. If you are asking about his chances? It’s hard to say.” Gaius looked past the prince to look at his ward. With a pained expression, he admitted, “I can only guess that if his condition does not improve, he has a few days at most. It could be any moment now.”

Arthur closed his eyes as he took the information in. “How did it come to this?” he whispered, not really expecting an answer.

“I can give you the medical reasons. He injured his ribs making deep breathing difficult so when he caught the flu, pneumonia was able to set in. He burned his arm and was somehow gored by a boar with only minimal care afterwards allowing infection to take hold. If I’m not mistaken, the vial I found in his jacket tells me he was taking pain medication that further decreased respirations making the pneumonia worse. His body is fighting infections on multiple fronts. His system is strained to its limits preventing him from fully healing from any one thing.”

Though Arthur had heard it before, hearing it again made Arthur suddenly remember the blood on the tusk that Lancelot had brought him. Anger flared within him as he remembered Guinevere’s words about Merlin not telling anyone, but Lancelot knew. Lancelot could have told him. Lancelot could have gone to Gaius sooner.

Anger was easier than worry and fear, and the anger was quickly overshadowing Arthur’s own shame. Arthur’s face turned to granite as he turned to look one last time at Merlin before charging out. Blaming Lancelot was better than blaming Merlin.

They had afternoon training that day. Arthur preferred morning training, but he had all the knights on a training rotation. Some would train in the morning a few days while others had midday and others had afternoon. Then they would change the times so each knight practiced at all possible times. Conditions were different based on the time of day, and training at different times and weather conditions helped keep his knights well rounded.

“Time for sparring practice. Who should I take on first? Lancelot. Care to try?”

Lancelot looked tired, and Arthur was sure it was from frequent bedside vigils with Merlin, but in that moment, Arthur didn’t care. When Lancelot came to the open field and took a stance, Arthur charged the young knight, thrusting and parrying and clashing and fighting. Lancelot got in a few good hits, but Arthur was on top of him as if his life was in danger. Lancelot’s sword was gone, and Arthur threw his away as he began using his fists.

The wind picked up as rain began sprinkling around them. The first few drops hitting Arthur’s face brought him back to the present. “Sire?” Leon said, placing a restraining hand on Arthur’s arm where he was about to bring it down once again on Lancelot.

“What is this about?” Lancelot said from the ground. Arthur had not even realized that Lancelot had fallen down and that he was straddling him. Arthur backed off and stood up.

As he reached down to pick up his sword, he said, “You knew he was hurt. I asked you about the blood on the tusks. You could have told me.” Though he didn’t yell or scream, every word Arthur spoke was dripping with malice.

Lancelot stood slowly before staring at Arthur and working his rapidly bruising jaw. “He didn’t want me to tell you. I told him right away that he needed to tell you, and do you want to know what he said to me? He said you wouldn’t even notice because he’s been hurt before and you didn’t notice then. I think if he hadn’t gotten the flu, you wouldn’t have found out this time either.”

Arthur raised his sword again but didn’t try to hit Lancelot. Instead, he grunted, lowered it again, and stormed off leaving his knights. He heard Elyan as he stormed away, “Training canceled again?” Arthur ignored him. He was glad they all had enough sense to not follow him. Rain started to fall in earnest the moment he made it back inside the castle.

He couldn’t help but think about what Lancelot had said. He was still angry, but now he was just as angry at himself. The guilt he had somehow managed to suppress was back in full force.

Arthur sat down at his desk to try to go over some of the papers he had been neglecting. As he skimmed reports without actually reading them, he came across Merlin’s neat handwriting in the corner of one page. “Hestor gave us double grain last year. Might be a good idea to acknowledge him in speech to encourage others to do the same.”

Arthur stared at the loopy cursive until his eyes blurred. He then stood up and paced his room. Merlin didn't actually say that, had he? Arthur didn't who he should be mad at, himself for not seeing how sick Merlin was, Lancelot for not telling him, or Merlin for hiding it. Arthur went to his chair next to the fireplace and looked at the fire licking at the logs in the hearth. He felt almost mesmerized by the flames and he zoned out, thinking of nothing but still feeling hopeless.

Arthur was unsure how long he looked at the fire, but as soon as he looked away, he took a deep breath before going to the window to look out. Was Lancelot right? Had Merlin often hidden injuries from him and he was too blind to see? Why would Merlin do such a thing? Arthur knew that he often kidded with Merlin about him being a skinny wimp, but Merlin never actually believed him, did he?

His own guilt felt like it was swallowing him whole, and Arthur was at a loss as to what to do. Rain came down in sheets. Arthur thought about Gaius’s words. “It could be any moment now.” Arthur closed his eyes and wished. “I want Merlin to live. Please, let Merlin live.” Thunder cracked above as lightning burst through the dark clouds, lighting the skies and startling Arthur so much he almost fell as he jumped back from the window.

Chapter Text

Lancelot moved his sore shoulder to work out some of its achiness. Percival tried to massage the offending joint as Lancelot worked his now sore jaw where the prince had punched him. “I shouldn’t have lost my temper with Arthur,” Lancelot said. “I’m just stressed about Merlin.”

“I’m sure Arthur understands. He’s just upset for the same reason,” Percival said as his large hands molded the overworked muscles. They had decided to continue training until the thunder started. Standing in the middle of a thunderstorm while wearing and holding metal was never a good idea, so the knights had come back inside. Lancelot had gone to his personal barracks, and Percival had followed closely knowing that his friend needed him.

“I suppose you’re right. Thanks, Percy. Merlin has just been one of my best friends since I came to Camelot the first time. He’s saved my life more than once, and I just feel so helpless now. I can’t even sleep unless I’m in the cot next to him. I just toss and turn all night thinking that this night might be his last, and I’m not there with him.”

Percival didn’t say anything. Lancelot didn’t need him to respond. Percival had learned a while ago that Lancelot needed someone to listen, and he was more than willing to be Lancelot’s audience, even when he didn’t fully understand. Prior to coming to Camelot himself, he had heard Lancelot talk about the servant he had met. Merlin was the person who seemed to center Lancelot. He allowed Lancelot to have hope, something that had been lacking in Percival’s own life before Lancelot had come around.

When Lancelot spoke about a young prince that the servant protected. Percival had not known exactly what Lancelot had meant until he had met Merlin himself. Percival then understood. Merlin protected the prince from overconfidence and selfishness that seemed to run rampant among most nobility.

“You know the worst part, Percy? Arthur is right. I should have told him. I should have told Gaius. I watched Merlin get sicker, and I did nothing.”

“Did you do nothing?” Percival said as he dug into a stiff muscle.

“I tried to convince Merlin to rest and tell Gaius, but when he didn’t do it, I should have done it myself.”

Percival paused his ministrations for a second while thinking. “Are you in charge of Merlin? I mean, was he incapable of seeking help on his own?”

“No, but–”

“But Merlin is not a child.”

“Merlin is too self-sacrificing to take care of himself. He’s not the same as the rest of us.”

“Merlin is special,” Percival agreed as his hands started kneading Lancelot’s back again.

“He just doesn’t care about titles. He cares about whether or not you’re a good person. He’s just so selfless that he never actually thinks about himself. That’s how he can get into a situation like this. He’s always so busy looking after others that he doesn’t look after himself.”

“But Merlin is still capable of asking for help, even if he doesn’t want to. You cannot blame yourself for Merlin getting sick. Arthur is wrong to blame you, and you shouldn’t blame yourself either.”

“I wish that were true, but Merlin is just made different. Promise me something, Percy. If Merlin makes it through this, help me look after him. Promise me that you will protect him, too.”

Percival nodded before saying, “Of course, Lance. I’ll protect him with my life, just as you do.”

Lancelot turned around and smiled at the gentle giant. “And I will protect you as well. I just hope that Merlin will make it through.”

“I wish that, too,” Percival said as a large crack of thunder seemed to shake the foundation of the castle.

__________________________________________________________

Gwaine was in the tavern again. He wasn’t drunk, though he really wanted to be. He refused to actually drink enough right now, though. He needed his wits about him in case news came about Merlin. He wanted to be at Merlin’s side, but the last time he was there, Merlin looked so lifeless that Gwaine was afraid of what he would encounter if he went back to Gaius’s quarters. Merlin didn’t even look like the friend Gwaine had come to know and love. He looked like… something unreal. A scarecrow. A scarecrow that vaguely looked like Merlin.

The tavern was full of people who couldn’t work at the moment either because of the brewing storm or just getting over the flu. Though Gwaine didn’t think that the tavern was the best place for people to go to recover, he couldn’t really think of a better one.

“What’s happening here, Gwaine?” Leon asked as he and Elyan sat down at the table with him.

“Nothing else to do with that storm outside. Might as well come to the tavern and enjoy some of the finer things in life.”

“Thought you might be upset about Merlin and try to drown your troubles away,” Elyan said as he motioned for the barmaid to bring over a couple of mugs.

“Not yet,” Gwaine said as he swirled his half empty mead. “I want to be aware when the word comes one way or the other.”

Leon and Elyan looked down, both lost in Gwaine’s statement. “He’ll make it through,” Elyan said softly.

“Will he?” Gwaine asked before taking another swig.

“He’s made it through quite a bit already. Neither of you were around when Merlin was poisoned. He made it through that well enough,” Leon said.

“Yeah, my sister told me that his heart actually stopped, but he managed to fight his way back. That means that Merlin really wants to live. That’s a lot of the battle, my dad used to say,” Elyan jumped in.

“No offense to either of you, but you haven’t seen Merlin lately. If I hadn’t heard his breaths, I would have already thought him dead. I think Gaius is losing hope, too. I saw him crying yesterday while grinding some ingredients together.”

“That’s what we can’t do. We can’t lose hope,” Elyan said to his fellow knights.

Leon nodded. He was too choked up to say much of anything. Merlin was a servant, but he had managed to become a big part of all their lives. Leon had watched the young prince go from an arrogant, self-important, pig-headed, spoiled brat to someone who thought about others and cared about more than just himself. Instead of being a ruler Leon would serve out of duty, Arthur became a prince Leon served out of pride.

Merlin had done that. Merlin had made Arthur a better person. Leon could see it better than any of the other knights. By becoming Arthur’s stabilizing force, he had become more noble to Leon than the king himself (though he would never say such a treasonous thing out loud).

“Let’s agree right now. We won’t lose hope,” Elyan continued. He raised a mug in the air.

Gwaine and Leon both put up their own mugs and said, “To Merlin.” Gwaine finished with, “May he continue to live.” They clinked glasses as the sky suddenly let loose a giant clap of thunder and a lightning strike so bright that it lit up the entire tavern.

Chapter Text

Arthur had just left, and Gaius stared at his ward. Merlin was getting weaker by the second. He was losing his battle. Gaius pulled out several books, looking for answers to save Merlin by any means necessary. If Gaius had to use magic, he would.

Guinevere stayed by Merlin’s side, sponging his forehead and trying to coax water down him, but the fever continued to rage. Merlin’s burn looked better only because of Gaius’s ministrations, and the wound on Merlin’s side remained red and swollen. His breathing was a mix of wheezing and wet. Gaius had heard it before. Many times. It always happened just before the person died.

Merlin’s breathing hitched, and Gaius frantically went to him. “What do I do?” Gwen asked, but before Gaius could answer, Merlin sucked in another breath.

Gaius let out a small sigh of relief, even though he knew this was another sign of Merlin’s impending end. “That will become more frequent, I’m afraid,” Gaius said as he sat heavily on the stool Gwen had just jumped up from. He could feel his own heart pounding in his chest.

“Is there nothing else we can do?” Guinevere asked, wringing her hands in apprehension.

Gaius gave her a small smile. “Just keep trying. I’ll apply more salves to his wounds now to help with that infection. The movement may also help his breathing. For now, at least.”

With Gwen’s help, Gaius finished redressing Merlin’s wounds when a young man that had agreed to help at the clinic came through the door. “Hey, Gaius, I know you have your hands full in here, but we are a little overwhelmed and out of the cough medicine.”

Gaius sighed and looked down at Merlin again. He didn’t want to leave him, but he didn’t know what else to do. “Gaius,” Lady Jane’s handmaiden said from Merlin’s room. “She’s having trouble again. I think her waters have ruptured.”

Gaius looked from the man to the handmaiden to Merlin. Guinevere placed a hand on Gaius’s forearm and spoke gently. “I’ll take the medicine to the clinic and help there. You take care of Lady Jane.”

Gaius gave her a small smile before giving a small nod. Gaius didn’t want to leave Merlin in what he was sure was his last moments, but he had to see to Lady Jane and her baby. Merlin would insist upon it.

Gaius went to the room to see Lady Jane holding her stomach and breathing hard. He immediately put his distress about Merlin aside and became the competent physician Camelot depended upon.

As he placed a hand at the top of Lady Jane’s abdomen, Lady Jane sucked in through her teeth. Her abdomen was tight, and Gaius knew the baby was coming. It was too early, and Gaius had never had a baby survive birth so early in a pregnancy. As grim as the thought was, he tried to not let the thought affect his face or demeanor for Lady Jane’s sake.

“I tried everything you said,” the handmaiden said, “but it seems to just be getting worse. Now, she can’t even talk when her belly tightens and then there was this water that soaked the linens. I was in the room during the birth of my sister. That happened then, too.”

Gaius nodded and then went about checking Lady Jane. When Lady Jane’s body relaxed some and Gaius was able to finish his examination, he told the women, “I’m afraid we can’t stop this from happening anymore.”

“But it’s too early,” Lady Jane said in short breaths. “He cannot come right now. He’s not ready.”

“There’s no way to stop it now,” Gaius said softly.

“I can’t,” Lady Jane said before the pains made her unable to speak again. Gaius instructed the handmaiden to continue to try to calm Lady Jane as Gaius left the room to get some herbs, oils, and potions that might help while hoping he had been able to delay the delivery long enough for the baby to survive, but knowing that was extremely unlikely.

Looking over at Merlin, he thought, “We can’t lose them both. Not on the same day.” Gaius swallowed over the lump in his throat as he listened for Merlin’s rattled breath, and continued to gather his supplies. He then re-entered Merlin’s room.

Lady Jane was breathing through another contraction. Rain began falling outside the window, and Gaius went to shut it. The handmaiden continued to speak soothingly to her mistress and to comb her hair out of her face. Gaius handed her the potions to give to Lady Jane.

One of the handmaidens gave her mistress a small sip of water and then gave her the potions. “This can’t be happening. He needs more time,” Lady Jane wept. Then as her belly began to tighten yet again, she exclaimed, “Make it stop!”

“I’m sorry, but this is not something that can be prevented,” Gaius said soothingly. “You do not have to lay on your back for delivery. You may feel more comfortable kneeling or even standing. Delivering a child is not easy,” he told her kindly.

“I can’t,” Lady Jane whimpered as the contraction subsided. “My legs are too weak. I tried earlier to get on my knees to get pressure off my back, but it hurt too bad to move.” She coughed and groaned.

Gaius nodded knowingly. He positioned himself to deliver the baby. “This is your first child, so it might take a while. Next time it feels like you need to bear down while your belly is tight, do it.” Lady Jane nodded. The rain began to beat down harder on the windows.

After one and a half candle marks, Lady Jane looked up deliriously at the ceiling, “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Yes, you can, my lady,” her handmaiden said softly.

The shutters blew open as a gust of wind blew through the window. Rain pelted inside the reopened window. The candles in the room flickered and dimmed.

“I see the head,” Gaius informed her. “It’s going to feel like fire in a moment, but keep going. It will get better.”

Lady Jane meant it when she said that she couldn’t, but somehow as the next contraction came upon her, she had energy flow back to her. She began pushing as hard as she could. The fire came and consumed her mind with the pain of it.

The candles went dark. The rain cascaded down, roaring outside and drowning out the scream of Lady Jane.

Then lightning cracked, and the castle felt like it was rumbling with the cacophony of thunder. Gaius was momentarily blinded by the bright light of the lightning as the babe was delivered into his waiting hands.

The rain immediately began to calm as the handmaidens began relighting the candles. Gaius was too busy staring at the blue, lifeless infant to notice. The baby was far too small, it's twig legs and arms floppy. It's head, though large in proportion to the rest of him, was uneven and misshapen. The sight was always disturbing with stillbirths, but this time was different.

Chapter Text

It was too young and not breathing. Gaius had never had a baby this young survive. If Gaius wasn’t so surprised, he might have tried rubbing the babe to coax it to breathe, but Gaius was stunned by the gold magic swaddling the little one. Just as Lady Jane delivered the afterbirth, the gold seemed to seep through the babe’s skin and up into his tiny nares. The dusky colored skin flushed pink as the baby let out a shrill cry. It’s head seemed to round with the first shriek, and it’s spindly arms and legs pulled inward.

Gaius quickly wrapped the baby in linen while tying off the cord to cut it. He then handed the squalling child to his mother, still amazed that it was breathing. Gaius needed to fully examine the baby, but after everything Lady Jane had been through, she needed to hold her babe.

The little one’s lungs seemed to be strong going by the cry, and that alone was better than Gaius could have hoped. He contemplated the obvious magic surrounding the child at birth. Could this be another warlock like Merlin?

A crash erupted from the next room. “Stay with Lady Jane,” Gaius instructed the handmaidens who were assisting with the cleanup.

Gaius feared the worst. In a very quick moment, Gaius’s mind played out multiple scenarios. What would he find when he opened the door? Maybe the world could only have one powerful warlock and Merlin died so the other could be born. The thought had Gaius throwing the door open and quickly shutting it behind him.

Gaius ran down the steps to find Merlin tossing and turning in a fever dream. A golden light, similar to the one swaddling the infant, surrounded Merlin. He had knocked over the stool by his bed with his flailing arms causing the crash. Gaius got his bearings and ran to his ward. He placed a firm, yet gentle hand on Merlin’s shoulders to try to settle him. When Merlin began to thrash and convulse, Gaius leaned over him, pinning Merlin to the bed with his upper body, trying to prevent Merlin from injuring himself.

Merlin’s eyes opened wide and Gaius had to look away from the bright light that shone through them. Then the gold that surrounded Merlin seemed to seep through his skin and up his nose and into his mouth. Merlin’s eyes closed, blocking the light that they emitted as he calmed on the bed, no longer thrashing. Gaius slowly sat up as Merlin’s blue eyes opened and settled on his mentor. “Balance,” he whispered before going out again.

Gaius immediately felt for a pulse and listened to Merlin’s chest, relieved to hear the heartbeat and the air moving in his chest, even if it was coarse sounding. Gaius sat back on the stool next to Merlin and allowed himself a brief moment for tears to flow. He wasn’t sure if he was crying in relief or stress or fear, but the few tears allowed him to feel better and take stock of everything he had seen.

He had speculated to Lancelot that Merlin’s magic was rebelling about the spell not being completed. A baby too young to survive, born not breathing, had been surrounded in magic and had somehow begun to breathe. Merlin then had the same magic surrounding him. Maybe this child was not a warlock like Merlin. Maybe this child was a means for Merlin’s magic to instinctively complete the balance spell. Gaius’s sigh of relief was short-lived as Merlin began to cough.

Gaius started to roll Merlin as Lancelot came into the room. “How is Merlin?” he asked as a way of greeting.

Gaius looked up, surprised to see the bruise on Lancelot’s face. “Hard to tell. Do you need something for that?”

Lancelot reached up and rubbed his jaw. “Yeah, if you have it. If not, I’m fine. Where’s Gwen? I was supposed to relieve her of the Merlin watching duties.”

Gaius gave the young knight a small smile. “She went to help at the clinic, and it’s a good thing she did.” He then proceeded to tell Lancelot about the baby and Merlin and the strange light.

“So you think the spell is now completed?” Lancelot asked thoughtfully.

Gaius nodded. “I do, but that hasn’t healed Merlin from his other afflictions.”

Lancelot looked down at his hands as if he had been holding something that had just slipped away. “I had hoped if his magic started working, then he would be healed automatically.”

Gaius shook his head. “I’m afraid not this time. I will say that his breathing has eased quite a bit, and it’s more regular. I fear we would be planning his funeral by morning if this had not happened.”

“So he could still get better?” Lancelot asked, and Gaius could hear the hopefulness in each syllable.

“With his magic helping him along? Maybe. It’s still a battle for him. I just hope he is not so far gone that his magic cannot save him.”

Lancelot started setting up his cot next to Merlin as he said, “Merlin is the most powerful sorcerer I’ve ever seen. His magic can save him, and it will.”

Gaius just gave Lancelot a sad smile before going to check on Lady Jane and the baby.

Merlin’s fever spiked a little bit after. Gaius had just returned from checking on the clinic and had returned to nap when Merlin began tossing and turning yet again. Lancelot felt Merlin’s head and turned to Gaius, “He’s burning up!”

Gaius and Lancelot began holding an arm each to prevent Merlin from harm. Merlin began his fevered spell chanting as he had when Gwaine had been with him earlier. Gaius recognized the same incantation, but this time, Merlin’s eyes glowed beneath his lids.

“Is this what you meant by his magic helping him?” Lancelot asked worriedly as Merlin began to calm. Gaius and Lancelot released their holds, and Gaius encouraged Lancelot to roll Merlin to his stomach. (Gaius had said that Merlin needed to change positions frequently to keep the secretions from settling.)

Once Lancelot and Gaius had rolled Merlin, he coughed up some vile looking sputum but then began breathing better. Gaius felt Merlin’s forehead yet again to find that even though he was still warm, he was no longer burning.

“I do think his magic is actively healing him now,” Gaius said with relief. Lancelot held onto Merlin’s limp hand, happy for the first time in days.

When morning came, Arthur went to Gaius first thing under the guise of needing to know how close they were to the epidemic being over though he really just needed an update on Merlin. “Hello, sire,” Gaius said from his potions table.

Arthur was greeted to the now familiar sight of Merlin laying on the bed with Lancelot resting in a cot next to him while Gaius was mixing ingredients. “Uh, Gaius. We decided to start having a morning briefing with the overnight patrol knights and they will want to know the state of Camelot and the flu.”

Gaius nodded knowingly, not missing the way Arthur’s eyes kept glancing at Merlin sleeping in prone position. “Cases went up again, but most are able to be at home or the clinic. As you can tell, Merlin is my only patient in here now. Most severe cases have resolved or--”

“Or died,” Arthur finished sadly. He looked over to Merlin, “So is Merlin the only severe case at the moment?” Arthur didn’t bother to take his eyes off his manservant this time.

“There are some at their homes that may be getting sicker, but of the people in the castle, Merlin is the sickest, but his fever did begin to come down overnight and his breathing seems to be a little better. I don’t want to speak too soon, but Merlin may have turned a corner. When Lancelot awakes, I will go see to those that are in the clinic and then round on those at their homes.”

The shrill cry of Lady Jane’s baby assaulted the prince’s ears. Arthur then looked up past his manservant to Merlin’s room. “Lady Jane’s baby?” he asked.

Gaius smiled again. “Small, but doing well. I was going to ask that if you can spare the men, send a party out to find Sir Mallory on his scouting mission to let him know he is now a father.”

Arthur nodded. “Of course. I didn’t think she was ready yet.”

“She may not have been, but the babe was.”

Arthur nodded, looked at Merlin one last time, and left. Gaius looked back to Merlin himself. Without waking Lancelot, Gaius began to roll his ward back over again. Merlin began to cough again, but to Gaius’s amazement, Merlin looked up at him.

“Gaius?” Merlin said breathily as he tried to catch his breath while rolling to his side.

“Right here, my boy,” Gaius said as he rubbed Merlin’s back in an effort to help him. “Glad that you’re awake.”

Merlin’s coughing subsided as he rolled back to his back. “Can’t say that I am glad about it,” Merlin said, his voice rough.

“You’ve been out for several days now. You being awake right now might not be pleasant for you, but it is definitely a relief to me. Here, have a little water. Not too much. Don’t want it to come back up.”

Merlin sipped on the water Gaius provided. “Several days?” he asked. “Huh.” Merlin’s eyes closed again, and he was asleep. Shortly after, Merlin’s snores became more chanting.

Gaius was both glad for the development and more cautious. He had decided that as long as Lady Jane’s baby continued to appear healthy, he would send her back to her own chambers along with her handmaidens. When she was gone, he could move Merlin back to his room and hide him so anyone entering would not see any possible future chanting.

Chapter Text

Arthur had left Gaius’s chambers with the familiar feeling of queasiness. Gaius assured him that Merlin appeared to be getting better, but Arthur wasn’t sure about that. Part of him wanted to stay and see for himself, but another part of him didn’t want to be around Merlin at all. Merlin still looked as if he might die any second, and hearing Gaius say that Merlin appeared to be getting better seemed just wishful thinking from a man who thought of Merlin like a son.

Guilt fell heavily upon Arthur, and seeing both Lancelot and Merlin together made Arthur feel– He couldn’t describe it. He wanted to blame Lancelot for Merlin’s afflictions, but he couldn’t fully. He was still mad at the knight; he couldn’t deny that. Lancelot had a lot of audacity pointing out Arthur’s faults, and whenever Arthur thought about Lancelot saying he would not have noticed Merlin being sick, Arthur wanted to punch him again. Punch him right in his face.

Though no matter how angry Arthur was at Lancelot, the anger he felt toward himself was stronger. The same thoughts plagued him over and over. Merlin had been injured before and hadn’t bothered to tell him.

How many times had that happened, had Merlin been injured and didn’t bother to tell his ruler? Was he afraid Arthur would punish him if he was unable to do his duties? Did Merlin fear Arthur?

No, that was ridiculous. Merlin didn’t fear Arthur. If he did, then he wouldn’t do half the things he did just to annoy the regent. Then, did Merlin not tell him because they weren’t actually friends?

Arthur almost scoffed at himself. Of course they were friends. Maybe not in the traditional sense. He was a prince, and Merlin was a servant… except that Merlin didn’t often treat him as a prince. When they weren’t at official functions, they talked. Merlin told Arthur about growing up in Ealdor with his mother, and Arthur described how much he wished he had known his mother. Arthur told Merlin how much his father’s illness scared him. When Arthur felt like he was destined to be a horrible king, Merlin was there to tell him differently. Though Morgana was a touchy subject, they discussed Morgana and how she was before. Arthur told Merlin practically everything, and Merlin had become a trusted advisor…

…and friend.

Merlin was a friend.

Friends were supposed to be honest with each other. Friends were supposed to tell each other things. Merlin should have told Arthur that he was sick. He should have told Arthur that he had been gored by a boar.

Arthur had not realized that he had made his way to the round table until the scrapes of chairs assaulted his ears as people stood to greet him. Time to be a ruler and dwell on Merlin later.

Around midday, Lancelot and Gwaine had assisted with moving Merlin back to his own bed after Lady Jane’s handmaidens had insisted on a thorough cleaning. “It’s only right,” one of the girls said. “Besides, he’s the prince’s manservant. He needs to be comfortable in his own room.” Gaius was still gone, and Lancelot would only be able to stay for a short time more. He was due for the patrol in the lower village. Gwaine briefly left to get a fresh bucket of water leaving Lancelot sitting next to Merlin’s bed in deep thought.

“Lance?” Merlin’s hoarse voice called to him.

Startled, Lancelot nearly fell off the chair he was perched on. “Merlin?”

“Who else would I be?” Merlin said weakly.

Lancelot helped him sit up some as he handed him some water. “Gaius said if you woke up to give you water.”

Merlin nodded and closed his eyes again. Even though he looked like he was sleeping again, he drank the water when Lancelot put the cup to his mouth. “Don’t scare me like this, Merlin. How are you feeling?”

Merlin opened his eyes to look at his friend. “Better.” Lancelot raised his eyebrows as if questioning the veracity of Merlin’s statement. “Really. No lies.”

“Full truth,” Lance demanded.

Merlin sighed. “My chest hurts, my side hurts, my arm hurts, and my head hurts, but I really do feel better. I feel like I can probably get up soon and get back to work.”

“No!” Lancelot growled. Merlin’s eyes widened as he looked shocked at the ferocity of the young knight. “Sorry, Merlin. I really didn’t mean to say it like that. It’s just… I could see how hurt you were. How sick you were— well, are. I knew you needed to rest, and I let you convince me that you were not that bad. I could clearly see it, I just didn’t want to believe it. I’m not going to let that happen again.”

Merlin leaned back against his pillows. “I didn’t think I was that bad.”

“You almost died. You still could. Gaius told me last night that if your magic was not working for you then we would be planning your funeral right now.”

Merlin looked abashed. “I thought my magic is what made me that bad.”

“No, Merlin. No.”

Merlin’s eyes closed again in exhaustion. “I guess I should be glad I have magic.”

Lancelot held the cup to Merlin’s lips again. “I’m glad you do, but I wish we didn’t have to rely on it so much. I wish you would just take care of yourself from the start so your magic wouldn’t have to fix it.”

Merlin coughed and groaned as his ribs gave a sharp throb. “I’m tired, Lance.”

“Yeah, I know, Merlin. Go ahead and get some more sleep. Someone will be here when you wake up.”

Merlin smiled softly and slept deeply.

The next morning, Arthur made his visit to Gaius and had been shocked to see Merlin no longer laying on the bed in the lower chamber. His mind immediately played out the worst scenario. He began frantically looking for Gaius.

He charged across the chamber and up to Merlin’s room, taking the steps two at a time before pushing the door open and seeing Gaius rewrapping Merlin’s torso with Elyan helping. It was the first time Arthur had seen the bruises and the wound from the boar’s tusk in the open, and the sight made him sick to his stomach. The bright colors blooming across Merlin’s side bespoke of deep injuries, especially considering that they were still so vibrantly colored this many days after the incident.

“What is the news?” Arthur asked as he looked at Merlin apprehensively. Merlin still looked sick even if he no longer looked minutes from death.

Gaius did not look up from his ministrations. “Diagnosis has not changed, sire. Pneumonia caused by the flu, exacerbated by broken ribs and other infections, but his fever has come down and he’s breathing is easier. I’m not going to say he’s well, but I will say his prognosis is not as dire as it was previously.”

Arthur sighed. “So what would you say are his chances now?” Arthur was scared for the answer, but he needed to know. Just minutes before, he had been preparing himself for news of Merlin’s death.

“Much better, sire. He has a long way to go, but with some rest, I say he can probably start light duty in a couple of months.”

Arthur felt palpable relief, and didn’t even try to hide it from Gaius. He had become so accustomed to seeing Merlin in the lower chamber that his vacancy made Arthur immediately think Merlin had succumbed to his illnesses.

“Didn’t mean to scare you, sire,” Gaius said thoughtfully as he and Arthur walked back down to the lower room. “Since Merlin is doing much better, I felt he would be more comfortable in his own room. Since Lady Jane has had the baby, she can recover at her own residence.”

“Yes, of course,” Arthur said absently as his heartrate slowed to a more normal beat.

Arthur looked up to the door that led to Merlin’s room before saying, “I am just here to get the report before the morning meeting.” Seeing Merlin so weak caused Arthur’s anger to abate briefly. He needed to talk to his manservant, but it could wait. He needed to know what he wanted to say as well. At this point, if he said what he wanted, he might end up yelling, and Merlin was in no state for that. He needed to be awake, and Arthur needed to be calm.

The report Arthur had gotten was similar to the day before with a lot of people recovering, but the number of new cases had dramatically declined. The storm that had started a couple of nights before had settled into a constant drizzle that both made everything feel dreary and seemed to wash away the sickness. That was strange simply because Arthur had always thought rain would increase illness— make people sicker. In this case, it seemed to be cleansing.

Chapter Text

This is not a real chapter! This is me apologizing! It was just brought to my attention that I miss tagged this as Arthur/Merlin and if that’s why you started reading, I am soooooo sorry!! I had to keep redoing the tags because of my computer restarting on me. I should have checked the tags again once I posted, and I didn’t do that. I was just so frustrated from having to redo the tags again and again that I just posted without rechecking. This is entirely my fault, and I’m not saying it won’t become Merthur because the story changes as I write and edit, and it kind of becomes its own thing, but I don’t feel like I write that well to do that relationship justice. I try to keep the relationships the same ambiguous mess that is in the show. If you want to stop reading- unkudo- unfollow- please, do.

I still plan to finish this soon, I just don’t want people to expect something that probably won’t be included. If you want to continue reading, thank you. If you’re mad at me, I understand.

Chapter Text

Lancelot was right. The next time Merlin awakened, he saw Guinevere smoothing out the covers over him. “Hey Gwen,” he croaked.

She gave a small yelp before looking back at him. “Oh, Merlin, Lancelot had said you had awakened briefly yesterday, but I had trouble believing him.”

“Can I have some water?” Merlin said while trying to clear his throat.

“Yes, yes, of course.” Gwen brought him over a cup before calling for Gaius.

Gaius came in holding a cup of warm broth. He smiled softly at Merlin as he came over to listen to Merlin’s chest.

“He just woke up and asked for some water,” Gwen said, wiping away her tears. “I mean, Lance had said he had woken up briefly, but I just thought it was maybe a waking dream or something.”

Merlin smiled at her and reached out to squeeze her hand. “You act as if asking for water is the most amazing thing a person can do.”

“It is, Merlin,” she cried as she hugged him. Merlin grunted in pain and she released him. “Sorry, I’m sorry. But you asking for water when I was so sure you were about to, well– Oh, it doesn’t matter right now. How is he, Gaius? Is he really alright?”

Gaius smiled at Merlin and Guinevere. “I wouldn’t say alright yet, but not dying at this moment.”

Guinevere’s hand went to her chest as she breathed out a sigh of relief. “I know you said before that he was getting better, but I hadn’t seen him awake. Arthur will be glad to hear it.”

Merlin smiled as Gaius began giving him the warm broth. His stomach gurgled, but he didn’t feel sick. He laid his head back again. “Was I really that bad?” he asked Gaius.

“Worse. We’ll discuss it later. I want you to take your medicine and finish this broth.” Merlin had as much as he was able before drifting off again.

Arthur had just been sitting down at his desk when Guinevere came running in. “He was awake and he spoke to me,” she said as a way of greeting.

Arthur had to think for a second who she was speaking about. When he realized, his eyes got wide and he stood up and swallowed. “He’s awake.”

“He’s asleep again now, but he was awake and drinking broth.

Arthur sat back down again, afraid that his legs wouldn’t hold him up. He let out a breath of relief. “He’s alright then?”

Gwen shifted from side to side. “No, not yet, but Gaius seems to think he will be.”

Arthur rubbed his face, surprised by the feelings soaring through him. He felt relief, obviously, but the anger was still there, and without the worry overshadowing it, the anger had a tighter hold. “Thank you for telling me, Gwen,” Arthur said through tight lips.

Guinevere looked at Arthur curiously. “This is good news. You think this is good news, right?”

Arthur sighed again and put his head in his hands propped up on the desk in front of him. “It’s good news. I’m just… overwhelmed.”

Guinevere walked behind him and began to massage the tight muscles of his shoulders. “I understand,” she said thoughtfully.

‘But she doesn’t understand,’ Arthur thought. ‘She doesn’t understand how angry I am. I don’t understand how angry I am.’

Guinevere kissed the top of his head before walking around to the front of the desk again. “I need to go help in the clinic some more, but I’ll be back if you decide you need to talk.” She then walked out of the room, leaving Arthur alone in his thoughts.

The next time Merlin awakened, Lancelot was smoothing out the covers over him. Merlin didn’t say anything at first, just watched him until he noticed the light bruise blossomed on Lance’s jaw. “Oi, how did that happen?”

“Oh, Merlin,” Lancelot said, sitting on the edge of the bed. “You’re awake again.”

“Yeah,” Merlin said breathily. “Now, what happened to you?”

Lancelot reached up and touched the bruise. “It’s nothing. Just a training injury.

Merlin looked at Lancelot skeptically, but didn’t inquire further. “Where’s Arthur?” he asked, looking around the room as if Arthur would appear.

“Probably at court. They have started holding audiences again now that the flu is getting better. A lot of people have disputes right now about missed payments.”

“People should be more understanding that others were sick.”

“That seems to be the same sentiment that Arthur has.”

Merlin nodded before attempting to sit up. The action of sitting up, even with Lancelot’s help, caused pain to flare in his ribs, causing his breath to hitch, causing a coughing fit, causing more pain. Merlin groaned as Gaius came into the room holding a bottle of bitter elixir. “I swear, Merlin, you are easier to handle when you’re asleep because you don’t jostle those ribs.”

Merlin took the medicine without complaint, though he couldn’t stop the grimace on his face.

He soon began to feel lightheaded, knowing that the medicine Gaius had given him along with his injuries made staying awake nearly impossible. He tried to stay upright, but soon found his head drooping forward. Rather than move him back to laying down, Lancelot and Gaius adjusted his pillows and allowed him the rest of his waking moments sitting up. Merlin was thankful they allowed him that much.

Merlin slept. Sometimes the sleep was heavy, and sometimes, it was fitful. He wasn’t sure how long he slept, but he awakened to see Gwaine staring down at him. “So glad to see you awake again. You’ve been going in and out, but this is the first I’ve seen your eyes open for real.” He then looked down at the hand now grasping Merlin’s. “You had me scared.” He took a deep breath as if gathering himself before letting go to hand Merlin a cup of tea Gaius had told him Merlin should drink if he woke up. “So, you want to tell me what happened? All I’ve been able to find out was that you somehow got hurt when out with Lancelot and then you came home and caught the flu.”

“That’s pretty much it,” Merlin said.

“That’s not it, though. Why didn’t you tell anyone you were hurt?”

Merlin shrugged uncomfortably. “I just thought there were people sicker than me.”

Gwaine shook his head, and Merlin saw the dark circles under his eyes that showed many countless sleepless nights. “You’re too selfless for your own damn good. I don’t know what I would do without you. You know that, right?”

Merlin rolled the now empty cup between his palms. “You would figure something out.”

Gwaine looked aghast. “No, Merlin. I really don’t know what I’d do. I don’t think I could stay here. I believe in Arthur and what he stands for, but he wouldn’t be who he is without you. If you were gone…” Gwaine trailed off, dropping his head, letting the statement linger.

Merlin placed a hand on Gwaine’s arm to turn his attention to him. “I’m still here.”

“But you almost weren’t. I’m not trying to get all sentimental or anything. I just need you to start thinking about yourself, alright? Because if you don’t, then the next time something happens-”

Merlin smiled weakly. “It’s fine, Gwaine.”

“This time.” Gwaine took a deep breath.

“Speaking of Arthur, I haven’t seen him in a while. How is he?”

“You mean when he isn’t pounding Lance’s face? Fine, I guess. He mainly stays holed up in his room unless he has to come out for royal duties.”

“Oh,” Merlin said, looking into his empty mug again. “I just thought I would have seen him by now.”

“No one has seen much of him except maybe Gwen. I’m sure he’ll be by soon.”

Merlin thought a moment before asking, “Why was he pounding Lance’s face?”

“That’s something you’ll have to ask him.” Gwaine sighed. “I’m supposed to be patrolling the lower town right now. I bet Princess will be quite angry that I’m here instead, not that I care. If so many others weren’t getting over this right now, I’d say to Hell with it, but for once, I guess I actually need to do my duties. See you later?”

Merlin gave Gwaine a soft smile and nodded.

Chapter Text

Days were long and nights were longer. Merlin had lost concept of time, only knowing when people came to visit him. Gaius insisted he was getting stronger, but Merlin only felt weak. The first time he was allowed to stand, Merlin almost dropped to the floor, but Lancelot held him up. Merlin was ashamed of his weakness, but just made jokes about his clumsiness.

Everyone came to visit Merlin from Ferren and Joshua to Percival and Leon. The only person who seemed to be keeping away from Merlin was Arthur. Merlin at first, didn’t really notice. He had thought that Arthur had been there while he was sleeping. He would ask about Arthur, but always got the answer that the monarch was busy or doing something else.Now that he was staying awake for longer periods of time, Arthur’s absence was extremely apparent.

Merlin shouldn’t be surprised. He should not expect a visit from Arthur. Arthur, afterall, was playing his part as king though Uther was still alive. Arthur had much more important duties to attend to than coming to see a servant. Merlin had stopped asking if Arthur had come to see him, but he couldn’t stop himself from asking how Arthur was doing. When Gwen told him that Arthur had been complaining about his current manservant, Merlin nearly choked. He hid his reaction behind a cough.

Arthur had replaced him. Merlin had allowed himself to get sick, and Arthur had found someone else to take over for him. No wonder Arthur had not visited. Merlin wasn’t sure how to feel about the news. He needed to be near Arthur to protect him, but how could he do that? Merlin felt a heaviness in his chest that had nothing to do with the pneumonia.

Arthur had not seen Merlin in two full weeks. He frequently asked for updates from Guinevere and occasionally from Gwaine. He was still too angry with Lancelot to ask him directly. Life around the castle was increasingly becoming more normal as people returned to their jobs, but Merlin’s absence was still glaring. His newest manservant, Willam, was the shy man who had come out to get the stretcher before. The man was a bootlicker, and Arthur could barely tolerate him. Somehow having Willam reminded Arthur of how much he missed Merlin.

Arthur had gone to the clinic to see how everything was going there. They were actually putting away most of the cots in the process of turning the room back into the small hall when Gwaine and Lancelot came up behind him. “Surprised to see you here,” Lance said as they went past the regent to pick up some bedrolls to help put things away.

“Just checking in on how things are going here,” Arthur said.

“But not willing to go check on Merlin.” Lancelot didn’t say it sarcastically or condescendingly, but as if he was just stating a fact. The statement felt like an arrow shooting straight through Arthur’s middle.

“What does that mean?” Arthur asked.

Gwaine turned around to Arthur and smiled. The bastard smiled. “Nothing, sire. Just noticed you hadn’t been to see Merlin lately.”

“I…He… I’ve been busy, and he’s been sick,” Arthur stammered.

“No judgment, sire,” Gwaine sneered. “Afterall, Merlin is a mere servant. Now that the epidemic is over, no need to even go to Gaius unless you become injured in some way.” Lancelot walked past Arthur carrying the linen to place in a basket set up by the doors.

Arthur clenched his fist. “I don’t think I understand your meaning.” Arthur’s voice was coated in malice.

“I’m only repeating exactly what Merlin has said to me himself. He’s been your manservant for so long, I’m sure that he’s the one who knows you best.”

Arthur unclenched his fist and his shoulders sank, defeated. “Is that really what he’s said?”

Lancelot, arms emptied of their load, placed a hand on Arthur’s shoulder, “He’s been asking about you.”

“He thinks he’s been replaced,” Gwaine added.

Arthur looked up to Gwaine in confusion. “Replaced? But, I just have Willam until Merlin…”

“I know. He doesn’t. It’s probably time to go see him,” Lancelot coached.

Arthur nodded. “I’m still mad at you,” Arthur said.

“I don’t blame you,” Lancelot said. “I’m mad at myself.”

Arthur nodded and turned away to go see Merlin.

Arthur entered Gaius’s chambers and looked around. Gaius was either in Merlin’s room or he was gone for the moment. Arthur started across the room to get to Merlin’s room when he heard a loud thud and a curse. Arthur ran up the steps to find Merlin on the floor next to his bed tangled in blankets. Merlin was holding his side and coughing.

“What happened here?” Arthur asked as he went to help detangle Merlin.

“Oh, Arthur?” Merlin said breathily. “What are you doing here?”

“Nevermind me. How did you end up on the floor?”

Merlin leaned against his bed catching his breath as Arthur unwound the blanket from Merlin’s legs. “I wanted some water, but my pitcher was empty, so I was going to go to the front room, but I got a little tangled,” Merlin rambled.

Arthur allowed Merlin a few more moments to breathe before he helped hoist him back to sitting on the edge of the bed. “Could you not have waited a few minutes for someone to come help you?” Arthur scolded as he sat on the bed next to Merlin.

Merlin coughed and winced. “Damn ribs. I would have expected them to be a lot better by now.”

“It’s only been a couple of weeks. Ribs are annoying and take a while to heal, especially when you keep falling to the floor to aggravate them.”

Merlin gave a half smile. “Oh, has it really only been a couple of weeks?”

“Since you started getting better. Add about another week from when you actually got hurt.”

“Oh,” Merlin said confused. “I haven’t been able to leave here in a while. I thought it had been much longer.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Is that why you have some ridiculous notion that you have been replaced?”

“So you were talking to Lance?” Merlin asked shyly.

“And Gwaine too. Look, Merlin,” Arthur took a deep breath and let it out slowly, preparing himself for what he needed to say. “You haven’t been replaced. Your job is still there as soon as Gaius gives you the all clear.”

“Oh,” Merlin said again.

“That seems to be most of your vocabulary today, ‘oh.’”

Merlin let out a small sigh. “Sorry, Arthur. It’s just, when I hadn’t seen you in so long, I figured it must be because you didn’t need me around anymore. Sounds weird to even say it out loud right now. Can I blame it on being tired all the time? Who is your temporary manservant?”

“Willam.”

“Ahh,” Merlin said disgustedly. “He’s nice enough, but with nobility, he’s a bootlicker.”

“I find him refreshing. It’s nice to have someone who does whatever I ask without questioning me all the time.”

“You mean it’s nice to have someone licking your boots?” Merlin raised his brow at Arthur as if knowing that Arthur was lying.

Arthur laughed. “You caught me. It’s actually quite annoying. When did I stop wanting that?”

“I guess you weren’t avoiding me, then.”

“No, I was doing that,” Arthur admitted.

“Oh?” Merlin asked, lowering his brow in confusion.

Arthur rubbed the back of his neck as he said, “Wipe that stupid look off your face. I was angry. Still am. And you were sick. Still are. If I say all the things I want to say to you, you might relapse, and I can’t do that to you.”

Merlin’s coughs interrupted Arthur’s contemplation causing Arthur to rub Merlin’s back on his good side to try to help him get over his coughing fit. Merlin continued to hold his ribs until the coughing fit subsided leaving him somewhat breathless, eyes squeezed tight to block out the pain. His voice came out tight and strained as he asked, “Why-huff-are you-huff huff-angry?”

“That’s right, you were on your way to get some water,” Arthur said more to himself than Merlin. He put Merlin’s arm around his neck and began helping him toward the door to the main room. Arthur didn’t miss just how much he was having to hold Merlin up. He deposited Merlin on the bench at the table before pouring him a cup of water and sitting across from him.

Merlin drank greedily, coughed lightly a few more times, drank some more, and then looked sheepishly at Arthur. “Thanks.”

Arthur waved a hand indicating that helping Merlin had been nothing. Then he looked seriously at the man in front of him. “I’m angry, Merlin, because you didn’t tell me about any of this. I had you carrying heavy baskets of clothing with those ribs. Hell, Merlin, you strapped a heavy shield onto your burned arm. Do you think I would have let you do that if I had known? I’m angry because you never said a word and just did it.”

“There wasn’t anything to worry about…” Merlin started.

“And that right there, Merlin, is the problem. You made the decision about what should be worried about, and then you almost died. What if next time, you break your ribs and end up puncturing a lung because ‘there wasn’t anything to worry about?’ All because you want to be stubborn. I’m mad at you for not telling me. I’m mad at Lancelot for allowing you to convince him to keep quiet. But I’m mostly mad at myself. Is what Lancelot said true?”

Merlin looked at a spot on the table about a foot in front of his cup. “I don’t know what Lance told you,” Merlin confessed.

“He said you had been injured before and hid it from me.”

Merlin shrugged, “Once or twice.”

Arthur slammed his fist onto the table. “Why?”

Merlin looked at Arthur in the eyes for the first time. “Because you are you and I am me.” It was Arthur’s turn to look dumbfounded. Merlin shrugged again before continuing. “You have a kingdom to run. A minor injury to a servant here and there shouldn’t be a concern for you.”

Arthur growled as he stood up and began pacing. “You are infuriating. I knew you were dumb, I just didn’t realize how dumb you are.” He stopped pacing before leaning on the table so his face was directly in front of Merlin’s. “I get to decide what should and shouldn’t be a concern.”

Merlin stared at Arthur’s ice blue eyes for a moment before Arthur stood up again, breaking the stare. “There’s too much for you to deal with on your own. We’re still dealing with Morgana’s betrayal. You have your father’s failing health and you have been thrown into the role of king before you were fully ready. I usually don’t tell you about the minor stuff because you have so much other happening right now. I typically go to Gaius, and if he says I need to tell you, I do. This time he was busy, too. I planned to tell him as soon as the flu crisis died down a little, but people just kept coming.”

Arthur looked up at the ceiling and pinched the bridge of his nose as if the conversation was giving him a headache. “So Gaius keeps things from me, too?”

“Not the big stuff. We always come to you about the big stuff,” Merlin pleaded, his voice was weak, almost a whisper, trying to get Arthur to understand even as he thought, We just sometimes have to get creative with the truth because of magic.

Arthur sat back down in front of Merlin to look at him again. “Are you alright right now? No lies or concealment.”

Merlin nodded softly before saying, “Just really tired. I think I probably need to go back to bed. This is the first time I’ve been out of my room.”

Arthur’s eyes widened in surprise. “The first time you’ve been out of your room? What?”

Merlin shrugged again, and Arthur felt like tying Merlin’s shoulders down to prevent him from shrugging again. “I’ve walked around in my room a few times, but I was always back to bed within a few minutes.”

Arthur immediately jumped up to help Merlin back to his room. “You should have said something. This is what I’m talking about.”

“I wanted the brief change of scenery,” Merlin said as he and Arthur struggled up his steps to his room.

Once Merlin was settled back in bed, before his eyes closed completely, Arthur said, “Promise me to tell me in the future.”

“I promise to tell-yawn- someone-cough-something—” and Merlin was asleep.

Arthur shook his head. It wasn’t the promise he wanted, but at least it was something. He also managed not to punch Merlin in his stupid face for giving stupid reasons, so he considered the conversation a win.

Arthur refilled Merlin’s water pitcher before he left. When he opened the main door, he found Gaius standing there. “Finish talking to him, sire?” Gaius asked as if he had been waiting for the two of them to finish.

“Yeah, for now. Gaius, does Merlin often hide injuries from me?”

“I wouldn’t say often. Occasionally. That boy doesn’t like to worry people so he tends to say little to nothing. A terrible habit of his. If it makes you feel better, he doesn’t hide it because he doesn’t want you to know. He hides it because he doesn’t want you to worry.”

“That seems like the same thing, but it surprisingly does make me feel a little better. I just wish he’d tell me in the future.”

Gaius smiled and placed a knowing hand on Arthur’s arm. “If I could force him, I would, but you can’t change that boy’s nature. Lancelot would not have even known if he had not been with Merlin when he became injured.”

Knowing that one fact actually alleviated a lot of Arthur’s distress. Lancelot was not the better friend. Arthur nodded and walked away

Chapter Text

Two months later, Merlin delivered Arthur’s breakfast and had begun to pull back Arthur’s curtains. “Open your eyes; it’s time to rise.”

“Your morning wake-up calls are getting worse and worse,” Arthur complained.

“Would you prefer, ‘Time to wakey to start your day-ky?’”

“Ugh!” Arthur threw a pillow at Merlin, causing Merlin to grunt. Arthur jumped out of bed and ran over to Merlin. “Are you hurt somewhere? Are you hiding it from me again?”

Merlin smiled, “So that should be the new wake-up call? A grunt? It did get you out of bed quick enough.”

Arthur picked up the pillow from the floor to hit Merlin with it again while Merlin laughed.

“If someone wouldn’t hide stuff from me, I wouldn’t have to jump up to interrogate him about injuries.”

“If someone got out of bed as soon as he was called, I wouldn’t have to fake injuries to get him up.”

“You really were faking it, right?” Arthur asked as he looked Merlin over.

“Yes, Arthur. I haven’t even coughed in a couple of weeks, and that was only because I smelled your socks.”

Arthur hit Merlin once more with the pillow before tossing it back onto the bed. “What’s on the agenda for today?”

As Arthur tucked in to eat his breakfast, Merlin went over Arthur’s itinerary. Life was back to normal, except that Merlin had not yet become the moving target at practice yet, and Arthur watched him a little closer for a while.