1 - 20 of 186 Works in Tired Merlin (Merlin)
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“Never wander alone, my darling, or Jenny Grinteeth will get you,” Hunith used to say. “Or if you forget, make sure you say the rhyme - that wards her off.”
Jenny Grinteeth leave me be, my mother loves me, leave me be.
Jenny Grinteeth is a game they play. But as Merlin is sucked into life at Camelot, he wanders alone more than ever. He is surrounded by people, but he doubts they love him; they can’t really even know him. The loneliness becomes so routine, he forgets his mother’s warnings and the funny, little rhymes, which might otherwise have saved his life.
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Sequel to “Trillium”.
So, they did it. Arthur and Merlin defeated the rebel barons on Camlann and ascended to the throne of Camelot. Morgana and Mordred suffered the druid massacre, but managed to regain faith in the Once and Future King. But as what was called the Golden Age unfolds, they begin to wonder: was it all worth it? As they seek their place in the new Albion, amid its forest roads and grand castles, they wonder who they are in the story of Arthur and Merlin: heroes or villains?Series
- Part 2 of Druidic Flowers
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In a world where magic and fate intertwine, the once-great legends of Camelot are reborn in the harsh lands of Westeros and Essos.
In the wake of the dragons’ hatching, Daenerys Targaryen discovers a profound connection to her past life as Merlin. Alongside her loyal companions, she seeks refuge in the ruins of Valyria, where magic breathes life into forgotten lands. As Daenerys grapples with her newfound powers and the responsibilities of leadership, she uncovers ancient prophecies that bind her to the fate of Westeros.
In the North, Jon Snow and Sansa Stark are drawn into a web of political intrigue as they struggle to hold the Stark family together amidst threats from both within and outside their home.
Series
- Part 1 of A Second Chance at Destiny
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Prince Arthur did not intend to bring Merlin on patrol, he didn’t even know his manservant could ride a horse. But he can’t say no to that grin, not when Merlin has gone and packed and saddled up a horse for himself without asking. It’s a dull, routine patrol along the border, almost a formality at this point. Even if magic is legal in Escetir, they’ve held a shaky peace treaty with Camelot for over a decade; it’s unlikely they’ll see any danger.
But what Arthur does not know is that the recent spike in deaths of magical creatures in Camelot has not gone unnoticed. There are whispers that King Uther is a liar and a hypocrite, now secretly rebuilding his magical defence. And to bring sorcery to the border - well now, that would be an act of aggression tantamount to declaring war.
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“Good evening, my love! What kept you so long?” Arthur greeted him warmly as soon as he walked into the room.
“Your what now?!” Merlin blurted out wide-eyed. Surely he couldn't have heard that right.
But Arthur was unfazed by his apparent confusion and promptly planted a kiss on his lips as if it was the most natural thing in the world for him to do.
Merlin accidentally stumbles into a timeline where Arthur seems to think he is his lover, and a very affectionate one at that. Now he just has to figure out how he got there, how can he get back to his own time and why Arthur keeps thinking about poetry.
But little does he know that in this world he is a noble too and they are to be married within a month...
Or: Arthur is not emotionally constipated and Merlin doesn’t know how to deal with that.
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His eyes traced his hand. It felt like someone had taken a match stick to a wound, cauterizing the edges of his skin. Instead of a marred outline of what Merlin assumed would be a wound, was a large patch of skin, dug out by his own nails. Blood painted the covers, his nail beds and his arm.
He must’ve rolled over some time in the night, giving the two men front-row seats to the massacre that was carved from his arm. He huffed and looked up at Percival, ears cleaning of that grating ringing. “Sorry.” he muttered, not really wanting to look at either of them anymore.
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Merlin watched the fire dance and Arthur watched the gold glow of the fiery magic whirling and burning in Merlin’s eyes. “Magic really is ethereal.” Arthur softly whispers, indulged in the pool of expanding liquid gold - the greatest of treasures - in Merlin’s eyes. Merlin’s hand stayed in the air, keeping the fire still. His eyes slid over to Arthur’s gaze. A pool of happiness fluttered in his stomach.
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Depressed Merlin continues his trials in living and talks with Arthur about his past endeavors. Arthur finds the beauty in Merli- magic.
Series
- Part 13 of Mentally-Ill Merlin (Merthur)
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The Beginning of the Week’s Limbo of Heaven and Hell by fallen_stxr
Fandoms: Merlin (TV)
10 May 2025
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“Did you take everything from the physician’s chambers?” Merlin asked quietly. The serving girl nodded, “As instructed. I sorted through the mess. Most of it, I managed.”
Merlin hums, slightly impressed. He thinks of where he last kept his- “Was there anything on the bed or floor?”
Alicia pauses for a moment, “…Just dust, I think.”
Merlin shoots her an inconspicuous look, “Nothing at all?”
She shakes her head, “Not that I can think of.” She says with sweaty palms.
“Was it- Was it anything important?” She whispers. Merlin gives off a small smile. “To me, it was.”
Alicia could take a guess that it was the dagger, sheathed in blood that she almost threw up upon finding. She’d remain silent about her findings, wanting to notify Arthur first. “Would you like me to look for it?”
Merlin pauses a few moments. He’d like to think that he shouldn’t tell her.
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Depressed Merlin is being forced to live after Arthur doesn't order his execution Post-Magic reveal. Maybe Arthur doesn't hate him. Why doesn't he hate him? Why isn't he dead? He should be dead. Why is he still here? Being cared for? He doesn't deserve this. Maybe it's punishment - psychological torment somehow.
Series
- Part 12 of Mentally-Ill Merlin (Merthur)
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In the Throne Room there is Nothing but a Dance of Death and Banquet of Bloody Murder. by fallen_stxr
Fandoms: Merlin (TV)
10 Apr 2025
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"Maybe Merlin was a lost child. Never been able to get to 18 without… this burden."
"Merlin. I’ll help you.”
“Kill me. I don’t want to feel anything anymore. Burn my corpse in the courtyard - serve it for dinner, for all I care.” He laughs, swaying towards Arthur’s chest a little. Arthur doesn’t move. His throat feels scratchy. What’s he supposed to do or say?
“I know you want me to die.” Merlin states. Arthur’s brows pinch and he shakes his head with a wince.
He wanted to retire to his chambers forever. He wanted to throw up his guts.
“You’d enjoy it, right - killing me?” Merlin asked as if he was already certain of the answer. Pale and frail fingers twisted the sword so the sharp edge scraped against the King’s armor. Arthur gulped but made no intention to move.
Merlin slid his fingers up the side of the blade, leaning in closer until his lips were centimeters from Arthur’s ear. “You don’t have to hide how you truly feel. I accept all of you - even the part that wishes people like me dead.”
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OR
After a long period of self isolation, Merlin tells Arthur about his magic and begs for his life
To be taken.
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Series
- Part 11 of Mentally-Ill Merlin (Merthur)
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How to Kill an Immortal Being - in the Height of a Wall of Stone or Less by fallen_stxr
Fandoms: Merlin (TV)
10 Apr 2025
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Summary
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Merlin isolates himself from the world, certain it's the best for everyone else. After a friend breaks in, he breaks down. By the end, he thinks he has his answer.
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OR
"“Do… Do you no longer wish to serve me?” Arthur said, quietly."
"“It felt like years… until you entered, that is. Then it felt like only a few minutes.""
"He hated knowing he was loved. He just wanted to disappear. But it felt so good. He indulged in the feeling of love. He hated that he wanted to be loved and that he was loved."
"Merlin ignored it heading straight for the Throne Room - straight for Arthur."
Series
- Part 10 of Mentally-Ill Merlin (Merthur)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,670
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 44
- Hits:
- 627
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Summary
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Merlin wakes up in the forest and attempting suicide. How ironic he didn't die. He'll find a way to put an end to his misery, especially after he had replaced everyone that would usually do his duties. He'll find a way. No matter what.
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OR
"He didn’t want to look Arthur in the eyes, knowing he hadn’t planned to see him ever again. He didn’t want to look at Gaius or Gwen or Gwaine. He didn’t want to look at Mordred or Morgana. He didn’t want to look at Lancelot or Leon or Percival or Elyan or anybody.
He didn’t want to look at himself. Know himself. Know he was still here. Know he had failed as miserably as he failed living. Know he would never bring himself to change.""He loved Arthur more than life itself. He’s sure. Merlin had never told anybody like Arthur about his secret.
Morgana was like Arthur. Except Morgana had magic. And Lancelot was like Arthur. But Lancelot wasn’t a noble. And Arthur? Arthur was everything.
As long as Arthur would never be able to see inside his bones and know - know the man he trusted so much was a rotten liar. Of course, he couldn’t know. It was him - and him alone - that he would never show his magic to."Series
- Part 9 of Mentally-Ill Merlin (Merthur)
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"He left everything. He left his room, the Physician’s Chambers, the hallways, the castle, the upper town, the lower town. He left Gaius and Arthur and Lancelot and Gwen and Morgana. He left his mother. He had left Ealdor a long time ago. Now, sitting in the middle of nowhere in the forest, he was leaving his life. He left everything."
"Don’t smell it. That’s what Gaius always says. Don’t smell it."
"I’m sorry Arthur. I’m sorry now - not just because of being a sorcerer, but because I wasn’t good enough to be your manservant. To be your anything."
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OR
Merlin gets ready to go.
Series
- Part 8 of Mentally-Ill Merlin (Merthur)
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Hell is Just the Liquid Fever Bubbling Between Your Meat and Bones, and the Fever is Just the King’s Mens’ Marinade of Sustenance. by fallen_stxr
Fandoms: Merlin (TV)
09 Apr 2025
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Summary
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Merlin survives what???? Crazy. Wonder why.
Clean up after chaos ensued last chapter.
Merlin may or may not have threatened the knights into silence.
Merlin has a derealization episode. A mysterious stranger (clearly not a stranger) comforts him during a panic attack.
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OR
It’s dark outside. Grey and cloudy. Among the mess the sound of thunder is prominent. Merlin wonders if lightning could kill him in the way it did Nimueh. The way he used lightning, taking advantage of nature, to kill Nimueh.
His eyes linger downwards. If he fell, would his skull splatter on the concrete below, just for his brains to be swept up and blood washed away the next morning? His hand tightens over the glass, it would leave fingerprints - marking such an expensive item.
Would anyone care? Would the Knights care? Would Gaius or his mother care? Would Arthur care? He felt his throat restrict air from escaping his trembling lips. Would he be just alone as he was today in the forest? Would the world allow him to die that time?
Series
- Part 7 of Mentally-Ill Merlin (Merthur)
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He’d Choose the Incarnate of Courage, Victory and the Sun, Rather than his Own Heart Begging for Blood. by fallen_stxr
Fandoms: Merlin (TV)
09 Apr 2025
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Summary
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Merlin follows the knights into the forest when there was a reported woman that was killing hunters and farmers in gruesome ways. The woman promises a cure to his magic fueled sickness after he's been attempting to repress his magic. Merlin will forever regret agreeing.
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OR
Merlin's head tilted to the side as he watched the blur of silver start running backwards. Black spots covered his vision.
His eyes simply could not see, other than the darkness of his very thoughts. Only if he could see his beautiful, victorious smile one last time. His numb body simply could not feel anything, other than the very gates of hell. Only if he could feel his pulse beating through his wrist one last time. His smell was blocked, other than the reek of vomit and tears and sweat and bile and blood. Only if he could smell him one last time. His ears fuzzed, others being able to make out the crackling sound of his life fizzing out. Only if he could hear his voice again and again and again. His tongue burned numb - unable to taste, other than the carved fire of bile, burning into his throat like acid.
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Series
- Part 6 of Mentally-Ill Merlin (Merthur)
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Dead People Don’t Talk and Alive People Don’t Know When To Stop. Walking Corpses Should Use Their Words Wisely. by fallen_stxr
Fandoms: Merlin (TV)
09 Apr 2025
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Summary
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A depressed Merlin doesn't have such a horrific day. He talks with Arthur and Mordred. Arthur and Merlin share their views on magic.
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OR
"“Why are you sympathizing with sor- with those monsters?”
Then reality hit Merlin again. Right, sorcerers were malicious - evil. A waste of life."
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It would be better to read this as Part 5 of my series, "Mentally-Ill Merlin".
Series
- Part 5 of Mentally-Ill Merlin (Merthur)
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Summary
Merlin refuses to use his magic because magic is evil. Is he evil?
An anti-magic Merlin gets kidnapped. Will a handsome prince come and save him? Or will he resort to his monstrous ways?
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"“What do you want from me?” He whispered out. It was more than enough for them to hear with the eerie silence of the night. They all came out from their places and Merlin heard a loud bellowing chuckle."
"Merlin concluded that this experience made him feel a little more human, especially since he almost escaped with no magic. He felt like his throat was a little more open, even with all the blood. He could probably use this as an excuse not to talk, post-traumatic stress disorder or something. He should. Make his life easier."
Series
- Part 4 of Mentally-Ill Merlin (Merthur)
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Wiping One's Memories, In Attempt of Saving One's Heart. Dig This Hole With Me, My Undead Darling. by fallen_stxr
Fandoms: Merlin (TV)
08 Apr 2025
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Summary
Merlin has to prepare to go to the borders to help a small town on the border of Camelot. He feels... different. Everything feels surreal - fake. He's losing his grasp on what's real and what he's imagining. He feels empty, lost and disoriented.
Everyone's worried. He covers it with lies of course.
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OR
He’s beside Arthur. He’s next to Arthur - where he belongs, yet all he wants is for the ground to swallow him whole.
He’s walking and walking and walking.
The world is deaf when he speaks and begs and cries, the world doesn’t stop when he takes a break; When he is deaf the world send riddles and people to frustrate him, the world continues wherever or whoever he is or choses to be - whether the chores are never done, whether he feels defeated, whether he gets to have fun - Life is never completed.
When the balance of earth is repaired at one end of the coin - Magic, it collapses on the other - Courage.
The tear ducts keep breaking loose, the secrecy won’t end, there are cracks in the foundation of his life, and the repairs of one’s chainmail - one can't keep everything in mind.
(Remix of a poem: The washing never gets done - Jaan Kaplinski).
Series
- Part 3 of Mentally-Ill Merlin (Merthur)
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Summary
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Arthur is worried about Merlin because he's acting strange. He's... jumpy. Like he has something to hide. He's especially lost and disoriented around other people - around Morgana, Arthur's noticed. Is the man who harbors most of his affections in love with his sister? The man is so on edge that he manages to fall off a horse when Morgana squeezes his arm in a comforting manner.
Oh how wrong he is.
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OR
A hunting trip cut short.
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"He can’t believe Merlin had a thing for his sister! He wasn’t jealous or anything, why would he be? Merlin is his own man.
It’s not like he was interested in Merlin; Merlin is a man. Even though he had just come to terms that he was in love with him, Arthur’s mind flickered to denial to shelter himself from the wounds he’d receive from processing Merlin didn’t love him back.
So, he didn’t love Merlin. And he obviously wasn’t interested in his sister. He cut this abnormal feeling to the fact that he was annoyed Merlin liked his sister and he’s over protective over Merl- Morgana. He’s over protective over Morgana."
Series
- Part 2 of Mentally-Ill Merlin (Merthur)
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Summary
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"He truly is a self-destructive monster; the purest form of magic itself."
"He deserves it. Just one. "
"Why does he feel like this? Why does he feel like he wants to rip his heart out? Why does it feel like it’d be better if he wasn’t here to burden everyone?"
"why does he feel like he would be better off dead?"
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Merlin’s life is falling through his fragile little fingers like sand.
Enjoy! <3
Series
- Part 1 of Mentally-Ill Merlin (Merthur)
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Summary
Arthur has known for a long time that Merlin means more to him than he thought anyone, or anything, ever could.
When everything he thought he knew about his manservant changes, Arthur has to decide if he really ever knew Merlin at all, or if everything he dreams of having is going to slip through his fingers.
~*~*~
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It’s been 1,525 years since King Arthur died, and Merlin only just learned to cope. (Only after claiming several self destructive tendencies.
Like, having an entire rooms worth of paintings and other various paarifinallia dedicated to a man you devoted your whole life to serving.)But he’s definitely better now.
And thats of course when “destiny” decides to come swinging.
(Swinging as in knocking him out, stealing his pocket change, and shoving him headfirst into a lake.)
So king arthur is awake now in our lord and savior 2024. Which means both of them have to figure out why Arthur came back in the first place, what that means for Albion, and especially what that means for them.