Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I’m just saying, I totally could’ve beat you if you’d let me use the GameCube controller instead of a stupid sideways Wii remote. It’s the worst choice.”

“Don’t be a sore loser, Dustin, maybe you should just get good.”

Eddie dodged a smack, ducking his head.

“Yeah, Dustin, don’t be a sore loser.” Lucas chided, from his other side.

“You guys suck.” Dustin complained, tossing the controller onto the rug and pushing to stand. He stepped over a box of Cheez-Its and squeezed behind them to plop into their rickety chair. “Let’s take a break, anyway, my thumbs are tired.”

“Tired of losing, you mean?” Eddie teased, this time unable to duck away from the foot knocking into his shoulder.

“Yeah, okay.” Lucas stood up too and stretched his arms up over his head. The popcorn ceilings were so low in the dorm he could’ve almost brushed them. Eddie clambered to his feet next. His ankles tingled with pins and needles; they hadn’t moved in hours.

“When did Mike and Will say they’re done with work again? I’m starving.” Dustin leaned back in the chair and shut his eyes, clutching his belly.

“I don’t remember, nine?” Lucas guessed.

Eddie whistled low. “Nine’s a little late for me boys, I could eat a fucking horse right now. Cheez-It’s just don’t do it anymore.”

“Yeah, not enough for a big, strong senior right?” Lucas playfully thwacked him in the ribs. “Eddie’s a full-on adult man now.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Eddie waved a hand dismissively. “You’re lucky I let you guys hand around me.”

“May I remind you you’re in our dorm room. Hanging around with us, actually.” Dustin chimed in.

And what a classic freshman dorm it was. Two twin XL beds pushed against the corners, with identical dressers and desks. All cheap, yellow wood. They’d configured an entertainment stand in the skinny alleyway between the bunks, propped up on an old bookshelf from Dustin’s bedroom back home and a small TV from Lucas’. Video games and DnD books were piled onto it.

The walls were an eclectic mix of sports memorabilia and astronomy posters, hip hop album covers and blueprints to airplanes. A corkboard near the door was tacked with pictures of the friend group, a big eight-by-ten inch portrait of Suzie that Dustin refused to take down because, “long distance was a son of a bitch.”

The only other door swung open to the questionable shoebox bathroom, and then connected to Mike and Will’s room on the other side. That was as much of a smorgasbord of nerd paraphernalia, though Will was growing more talented with art every day and at least he had a good eye for interior design. The color palette was nice.

But Eddie wasn’t really one to talk. His bedroom was a hot mess.

“Not my fault everyone else is busy on a Friday night and I had to resort to you plebeians for entertainment.”

“Is that right?” Dustin nodded, feigning hurt. “Fine. We see how it is. Leave us then.”

“Fine.” Eddie shrugged. “Practice your skills at Smash Bros and maybe then I’ll return someday to beat you again.”

He scooped up his keys and wallet from Lucas’ desk and stuffed them into his pockets, tugged on his leather jacket and vest. Meanwhile, Lucas was already reconfiguring the TV to boot up Netflix.
“No, next time we play Mario Kart.” Dustin protested, crossing his arms over his chest. His faded Camp Know Where shirt wrinkled with the motion.

“And I’ll kick your ass in that too, Henderson. Anyway, I’m gonna go get a fat quesadilla before I wither away. You guys gonna wait for them?”

“Yeaahhh, I guess so.” Lucas sighed. He scrolled through suggested titles. “Last time we went to the dining hall without them Mike pouted like a baby.”

“Wheeler is indeed a little baby.” Eddie nodded. “That tracks. All right, cool. See you later this week for Nancy’s midterm ‘study session’?”

“The one that’ll inevitably turn into everyone goofing off and no one being productive? Yeah, we’ll all be there. Max and El too. They had some sorority thing with Nancy tonight, actually.” Lucas laughed. “Still can’t believe she got them to rush or whatever.”

“Eh, it’s so different now. Not all cliché mean girls like in the movies. Even some of Steve’s frat bro dudes are tolerable…thoughhh for the most part the guys hold up to their stereotypes.”

“Tell Steve we said hi!” Dustin cheesed at Eddie. “And we miss him!”

Eddie rocked back on his heels. “Will do. I don’t even know if he’s home tonight, but I’ll deliver the message when I see him. All right, peace out, girl scouts.”

“Bye, Eddie!” Lucas waved, while Dustin called, “See ya!”

He dipped out of the dorm door and down the hall, passing identical others with little paper decorations taped on them. The linoleum squeaked and the fluorescent lights buzzed. Music thumped and other students roared with laughter from their own rooms. It smelled like cheap liquor, like hot nail polish.

Eddie hopped into the elevator to start his journey across campus, back home.

He did, in fact, pick up a huge chicken quesadilla on the way, shielding it for warmth in his jacket as snow started to flurry. Early November in Indiana, it was going to snow a lot from here on out. Fucking annoying.

After a cold eighteen-minute walk, he swiped his student ID to get into his own building, upperclassmen housing only slightly nicer than Lucas and Dustin’s. Groups of other students huddled in the downstairs lounge, playing pool and definitely drinking booze out of their Hydro Flasks. He recognized Heather from History of Music, who smiled at him.

“Hi, Eddie!” She greeted enthusiastically.

“Hey, Heather!” He replied with a two-finger salute, before turning and heading to the staircase. He would’ve stopped to talk, but he wanted to change his wet socks, put on something comfy, devour his dinner, and get a little high.

Eddie and Steve lived on the second floor, so it was a short climb before he was unlocking their door with a jingle of keys.

The lights were on and the common room was warm. Their large TV was on but muted, some Animal Planet documentary flashing onscreen. (Steve watched a lot of Animal Planet.) Every blanket in the place was mussed up on the couch and throw pillows were on the floor, like a hurricane had blown through.

Mismatched wine glasses littered the coffee table and a half-eaten frozen pizza was left on a cookie sheet in the kitchenette. There was a floral cloud in the air and a pair of small, feminine shoes was tucked by the placemat.

Oh.

Steve had a girl over.

It was really obvious now, actually. The low shine of the Christmas lights strung around Steve’s bedroom leaked out from the crack under his door and pop music bled over loudly. If Eddie strained his ears, he could hear an occasional thump, a giggle.

Gross.

And that was like, fine, it was just that Steve hadn’t had a girl over in a really long time (as far as Eddie knew), and it made his stomach dip down low, and suddenly he didn’t want to eat his stupid quesadilla anymore.

He toed out of his boots and plopped them next to stupid mystery girl’s, not exactly sympathetic if muck scattered onto her purple sneakers. Whatever.

Eddie had planned to throw on a movie, chow down, and smoke, but now he just kind of wanted to curl into bed. He kinda wanted to bundle up and listen to heavy metal, go down a rabbit hole of conspiracy theories on YouTube, and then fall asleep embarrassingly early with a sour taste in his mouth.

He certainly didn’t want to keep hearing the chaos and laughter coming from Steve’s room.

Eddie definitely imagined his roommate having sex way more than was normal, but not with some fucking girl. He didn’t need that reality slapping him in the face in his own fucking home.

With a grumble, he tossed his dinner into the fridge and let it slam closed. Eddie stomped with soggy socks to his bedroom across from Steve’s and shouldered inside.

He opted for his red lava lamp instead of the overhead lights, wanting to just mellow out. It cast a goopy glow onto the collection on his walls; Metallica posters, a map of Middle Earth, Legend of Zelda box art, glossy photos of his friends and Uncle Wayne taped to the white brick in a square collage. He’d command-hooked the huge Corroded Coffin flag Chrissy had printed for him one Christmas over his bed.

Eddie shucked out of his clothes and tugged on sweatpants and a black hoodie, his favorite bedtime attire. He replaced his socks with fuzzy blue ones covered in images of chunky, smiling cats. After selecting the perfect Spotify playlist for sulking and lying in bed alone, he did just that.

Eddie reminded himself regularly to face the facts. That this childish one-sided crush on Steve was getting him nowhere fast. That it was only stabbing him through the heart on the daily.

But what the hell was he supposed to do, when, over the course of four years, he’d fallen in love with the guy? God, freshman year he’d dreaded moving in when he found out “King” Steve Harrington from Hawkins High had been assigned his random roommate. Like what were the fucking odds? And there’d been no luck changing it, the University was slammed with its largest incoming freshman class ever, or whatever.

It had been tense, to say the least, the first few months especially. Only exacerbated by the fact that freshman year they shared a bedroom, even. And Steve fucking snored.

But it had been his stubbornness, really, Eddie choosing not to see the good in Steve that made it so awkward. He refused to admit that Steve had changed his ways.

Dustin had been telling him for a few years now, but Eddie simply couldn’t believe it. It didn’t matter how many times they’d hung out as a group before college, Eddie kept his guard up and snarked at Steve and gave him the stink eye every chance he could. Because, there was no fucking way.

Until…there was. And two months in, Steve had chipped away at Eddie’s prickly exterior and wooed him with his charm. Steve Harrington was an actual nice guy, and Eddie had been foolishly turning his nose at him since forever. Eighteen-years-old and they had become roommates that morphed into unlikely friends.

So, that was that. They lived together again, the next year, when Robin, Nancy, Argyle, and Jonathan all followed to the University of Indiana. And then it was like an episode of fucking Friends every day. Junior year flew by too, and here they were now, fully-fledged seniors, with all the rest of their little sheep stumbling in after them.

And Eddie was still hopelessly in love with a straight guy.

What a fucking bummer.

It had been bad, freshman year, coming home to socks on the door handle after class and waiting until he got the “all clear” texts from Steve. It wasn’t as bad sophomore year, when they had their own bedrooms. At least he could shut his door and blast music. And then, junior year it had kind of…trickled off? Or maybe Steve just got better at scheduling, so it wouldn’t disturb the peace as much.

But now, a few months into the semester, Eddie was brooding again that his handsome, hetero, twenty-one-year-old, frat boy roommate was doing typical, healthy, human sex things with some imaginably smokin’ hot girl.

Bummer indeed.

He hadn’t cared as much, years back. It had just sort of bothered Eddie then. But now it was…downright painful. Wanting someone so badly that there was no way in hell he’d ever have. Settling for best friends was somehow worse than hating him, even.

Eddie wallowed in pity for probably an hour, until his tummy betrayed him and growled. The cold quesadilla called to him. What better was comfort food for, he shrugged, than to eat it when he was sad?

He shuffled out of his room and to the kitchen to pull out the cardboard container and a beer. He preheated the oven and popped the tab with a hiss—

And Steve’s bedroom door burst open with a startling bang and a peal of giddy laughter. Steve staggered out of the room clumsily, with Robin Buckley right behind him.

Just Robin.

Just regular ol’ Robin, wrapped in one of Steve’s Hawkins High basketball sweaters and swishing around a bottle of rosé. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes were wet as she and Steve keeled over about something.

“Jesus.” Eddie quipped, relief melting into his bones. Tight knots that had twisted in his chest started to slowly unravel. Of course, it was just Robin. “What the hell, guys?”

“Eds!” Steve cried, wiping his eyes and catching his breath. He had on navy blue joggers and one of his long-sleeve frat letter shirts. He waltzed over and threw an arm jovially over Eddie’s shoulders. It was sweet, it was cute, it was an unbeatable ache that he was so excited to see Eddie.

“Hey, there, alligator.” Steve mumbled into his ear. Eddie fought a shiver; it might have smelled like alcohol, but Steve’s breath against his jaw was like a lit match.

“Steve,” Robin slurred, cracking up. She bumped the bottle onto the coffee table with a clank. “It’s ‘see you later,’ alligator, not ‘hey there,’ you’re wrong.”

Steve shook his head exaggeratedly, soft brown hair brushing onto Eddie’s face. He caught another whiff, this time Eucalyptus Spearmint from Bath and Body Works. Classic Steve smell.

“No, we saw that alligator show on Animal Planet, you’re wrong.”

“You guys just getting fucked up in the dorm like we’re underage?” Eddie smirked, letting himself soak in the contact. He looped a supportive arm around Steve’s middle. Because he was drunk, he needed help standing, okay?

Steve leaned into him slackly. His cheek creased onto Eddie’s bicep. That was nice. Steve was hot, like, literally, temperature-wise.

And figuratively.

“It’s too cold outside for anything else. Snowy.” Robin complained, wrinkling her nose. She dropped unceremoniously onto the couch, piling the blankets around her.

Eddie rolled his eyes, drooping when Steve pulled away to sit next to Robin. They tangled together like the roots of a tree.

“I thought you had a chick over.” Eddie laughed, “—Like, a straight chick, I mean. Like, not Nancy’s girlfriend.”

“I miss Nancy.” Robin moped, throwing her head to the back of the couch. “I haven’t seen her since this morning.”

“Oh my God, Robs, you live together.” Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. “Dumb.”

“And—” Robin lifted her head suddenly, as if struck by an important thought. “And why would—why would Steve have a straight girl over, huh?”

Eddie raised an eyebrow, while Steve exploded into a fit of giggles.

God, they really were drunk.

“Robinnnn.” He smothered her with a pillow, but Robin fought back and broke free. They tousled like yapping chihuahuas while Eddie turned back to heat up his food. He tossed the pizza in a Ziploc bag and threw it in the fridge, using the same pan for his quesadilla.

“Steve’s like—” Robin twisted around while he tackled her. “Steve’s like mostly into guys now anyway, duh.”

Wait.

Eddie froze, one arm half in the oven.

“Robin,” Steve guffawed, cackled like a hyena. “You just outed meee. No fair.”

What?

Eddie essentially tossed the tray into the oven, wincing when it clanged against the metal. He spun back around to face the two of them, who were rolling around and roughhousing, practically falling off the couch.

“Hold on, sober up a second, kiddos—you’re gay?” Eddie blinked, gaping at Steve.

“No, you’re gay!” Steve jabbed an arm up and pointed at Eddie’s face, smiling devilishly.

Robin hooted. “No, I’m gay!”

Eddie waved his hands around, snapped for attention. “Shut up, I know, that’s all been established, but you, Steve Harrington, are gay?”

Steve’s eyebrows crunched together like he was focusing hard. Then his expression relaxed into a goofy smile. “Wellll, I like girls too. I’m bi, Eds.”

Oh.

“Congratulations!” Robin yelled, while Eddie’s entire worldview shifted, and the ground crumbled beneath his feet, and he was thrown sideways into another dimension where nothing made sense and everything was rainbow-colored and there was a sloppy, dirty fantasy of him and Steve making out in his bed, and he grabbed that other-dimension-Eddie by the arm and screamed in his face, “It’s possible! Your dream is a reality!”

And then he was snapped back into his body and trying not to look like a fish out of water.

“Oh, I mean, good for you, Stevie…I didn’t know.” He ruffled Steve’s disheveled hair and flopped into the arm chair cattycorner to the couch. All the air had whooshed out of his lungs.

“It’s just not something I tell everybody yet.” Steve half-shrugged. “Maybe some time.”

Was there any validity in asking questions now? Was this even a legitimate confession or was he just drunk off his ass?

“How long have you, like, known?” Eddie asked anyway, because what was there to lose?

“He told me last summer!” Robin piped up. “I’m his best friend, so he told me.”

“Yeah, Robin’s my best friend, so I told her last summer.” Steve parroted. Then he smushed his face into her chest and closed his eyes. He was fading fast. She continued to prattle on, something about the summer, and then it morphed into a story about them working for Scoops Ahoy over the summer, right after high school, and then Steve seemed asleep and Robin was not making sense anymore.

The oven beeped.

“Great story, Robs.” Eddie patted her head as he stood up, then yanked his phone out of his pocket at lightning-speed when he turned back to the kitchen. Robin eventually dozed while he composed a rapid-fire text to Nancy.

you work tomorrow? need to talk to you stat. v important!!!!

He threw in a few of the red alarm emojis.

While Eddie was sliding his quesadilla onto a plate, his phone buzzed.

At a sorority thing rn. Yeah, I have work tomorrow but come by. You good?

He tapped a quick reply.

Good!! great, even. But also having a crisis. A good crisis tho? Maybe? idk PS Robin is asleep here lol her and Steve are hammered

He started to chew his quesadilla. He’d put the oven too high and it was a little crispy.

Thanks for babysitting she replied, with two pink hearts.

No prob, enjoy your ritual sacrifices

He added the devil emoji at the end, to which Nancy replied with a simple knife and a sheep.

Eddie straightened up the kitchen when he was done and stashed the half-empty bottle of rosé back in the fridge. Two other bottles were already in the trash can. He had to keep himself busy, or he was going to work himself up into a fit. His hands were shaky.

He kept stealing glances at Steve, who was tucked under Robin’s chin and snoozing like a baby. He’d snore occasionally, but it didn’t seem to faze her. They were like a pile of puppies.

Not even half an hour ago Eddie had been spiraling about his sad sap situation, his huge, romantic love for his straight roommate, and now said roommate was…not straight? He bit his nails.

It might not have changed anything, though. Steve may have liked guys, but that didn’t mean he liked Eddie. He’d known Eddie was gay since like, freshman year, second semester. If Steve had wanted to make a move, he would’ve already.

…Right?

Right.

First and foremost they were best friends, and while it made his stupid heart hurt, preserving that relationship was more important than anything.

Eddie blew out a breath, thoughts swirling while he finished his beer. He leaned against the kitchen counter, watching his friends sleep. It wasn’t late yet, but they were out.

He clicked the TV off and turned off the lights, tossing an extra blanket over the two of them before padding back to his own bedroom. He left the door cracked, just in case someone started hurling in the middle of the night and needed a glass of water, or a hand to hold their hair back. They’d all been the designated hair-holder.

Eddie climbed into bed for the second time that night and stared at the ceiling in the dark. He wondered, not for the first time, what it would be like to have Steve sleeping on his chest. What it would be like to hold him so close that they lost track of where one body started and the other began. Like when he leaned on him in the kitchen, except, better. He imagined that—

No. Fuck. Preserving friendship.

He really needed to talk to Nancy.

***

When Eddie emerged from his room the next morning, it was to an empty couch. Robin and her shoes has disappeared, and it seemed like Steve was taking a shower. The bathroom door was pulled shut, steam billowing from underneath, and Eddie could faintly hear Harry Styles crooning from a Bluetooth speaker.

Okay, maybe this was better. Maybe this was a little easier than having to immediately face Steve and say, like, “So, remember you accidentally coming out to me last night?”

Eddie grabbed a pack of Pop-Tarts from the cabinet and shoved them into his checkered backpack. He gnawed on a stick of gum since he couldn’t brush his teeth and decided to get coffee while he was out instead of making it now. In record time, to avoid an awkward run-in with Steve, he laced up his boots and flew out the door.

It wasn’t snowing today, but there was a bite in the air, and Eddie regretted not grabbing a beanie to keep his ears warm. He traipsed across icy sidewalks to the library.

Campus was quiet for a Saturday morning. Leftover slush stuck to the ground and the sky was a soft white. Students appeared here and there, either in work uniforms or last night’s party clothes. It was unusual to be out otherwise, even with midterms looming. College kids loved to sleep in.

The library was a two-story red-brick building with floor-to-ceiling windows. It was normally framed by tall trees and bright flower bushes, but everything was dead in the winter. The courtyard next to it, all benches and picnic tables, was empty. A few tiny birds hopped underneath them, picking at the ground. Eddie shivered off the chill when he entered.

It smelled like paper, dust, and potpourri inside. The lights were cozy yellow and the bookshelves climbed to the ceiling. Thanksgiving wreaths and mini pumpkin decorations were all over, minimal, but nice. Probably Nancy’s touch.

The room opened up to a huge lounge, with countless tables, charging outlets, and cubbies. Separate, private study spaces wrapped around the edge. Upstairs there was a computer lab, a few more rows of shelves, and a meeting room.

Eddie wiped his feet on the mat and looked for Nancy. There were three girls on a couch in the back of the library, surrounded by textbooks, and another solo guy was typing a million words a minute on his laptop in the corner. It was still, but for the hum of the heater and the whistling wind outside.

Ah, there she was.

At the front desk there were two spots for employees. Fred Benson was at one of them, working on a desktop computer, and Nancy was at the other, scanning barcodes.

“Hey, Nance.” Eddie greeted, sidling up to the desk like he owned the place. He’d worked at the library one semester with her, but quit when he realized he enjoyed teaching music lessons much more. And, selling weed always kept him financially comfortable.

“Eddie, hey.” She looked up, eyes gentle. He could tell she was already asking, “So, what’s wrong?”

She looked sleepy, and was wearing a brown cardigan that Eddie had seen Robin in multiple times. None of his friends wore their own clothes.

“Morning, Eddie.” Fred greeted too, barely looking up. He was clearly deep in his work.

“How’s it goin’ here?” Eddie asked the two of them.

“Uh, fine.” Nancy answered. “We’re swamped, but, it’s doable…Um…”

Nancy glanced over at Fred, then back to Eddie. Maybe he looked desperate, because she set down her scanner.

“I’m gonna take a fifteen, Fred.”

“Wha—It’s ten-thirty, Nance, we’ve barely started!” He paused in typing and blinked at her behind his glasses.

She gave him a saccharine smile and patted his shoulder. “Exactly, so it’s slow, and you won’t mind covering. Thanks, Fred!”

While he sighed heavily, Nancy slid from behind the counter. She caught Eddie’s ringed hand and started pulling him upstairs.

“Okay, so what’s happening? What’s your crisis?—Or, your good crisis? What the hell does that even mean?”

“It’s, uh…” Eddie took a deep breath and fiddled with his backpack strap. He followed after her like a lost dog. They ended up in the corner, nestled between two bookshelves, right next to the squeaky, loud HVAC vent. But he still kept his voice low.

Nancy stared at him, eyebrows knit.

“It’s what, Eds? What’s the matter?”

Eddie tapped his foot. “So…so let’s just say I just found out that someone—a guy—close to me is…not straight?—And it completely sidelined me, Nance, like I wasn’t expecting it at all?...And I’ve been dealing with like, really…big feelings about them for a long time, but I didn’t think I had a grain of salt of a chance, but now like, do I? Or, do I not? Because, I really don’t want to risk losing them as a friend.”

He rubbed a hand over his face and continued. “Basically, do I shoot my shot or do I continue to bury this deep inside of me so that—”

“Is this about Steve?”

“Excuse me?” Eddie asked, eyes boggling. “What do you mean, ‘is this about Steve’? So casually? The fuck?”

Nancy slowly raised a slender eyebrow. “Answer the question, Munson. Fifteen minutes here.” She poked her Apple Watch.

“Um, maybe, it’s about Steve.” Eddie crossed his arms. “—How do you know about Steve? Am I the last one in the loop here?”

“No, no.” Nancy actually laughed and shook her head. She squeezed Eddie’s sleeve. “He’s definitely not out. I heard on accident.”

When he just stared at her, she went on with an eye roll. “He came over to our apartment this summer, super early one morning. Like banging on the door and stuff. Robin answered because I wasn’t dressed, and he…immediately started, like, bawling that he liked guys and he didn’t know what to do and he needed someone to talk to. I heard the whole thing. Felt super bad because I didn’t mean to eavesdrop and, well…”

She trailed off, looking uncomfortable.

“And he’s your ex-boyfriend from high school, and you’re in a relationship with his best friend, and you’re both half-gay now, and it’s a weird situation?” Eddie suggested with a smirk.

Nancy smacked him in the chest. “Yes, okay? Nail on the head. Screw you.—But no, it’s not weird, per se, like, I love Steve. I care about him. Just…different. So the three of us talked, calmed him down. He hasn’t said anything to me since.—Though now you’re the one having a meltdown? What’s the problem here, you’re in love with him? Is that really a problem?”

Eddie tugged at his hair, half-turned away from her. He spun back, exasperated. “Again with the casual, Nancy, Jesus. Of course that’s a problem. We’ve been roommates for years, I don’t want to fuck that up. He’s one of my best friends. I don’t want him to think I’m some perv, trying to jump in his pants the second I hear he’s bisexual.”

“He won’t think that.” Nancy said flatly. So confident that it made his heart jump.

“How do you know?” He shot back.

Nancy leaned back on the bookshelf, calm and collected while he was losing his mind. She looked like a painting in the shadows, all the different colored spines behind her.

Eddie wished Steve had come to him, on his own, naturally, without the influence of copious rosé. What if Steve hadn’t even wanted him to find out?

“I just do.” She answered finally, resolute. “When I came out to Robin and then she asked me on a date a few months later, I didn’t think she was a perv. I actually thought, ‘wow, this is nice.’ I was excited. It was fun. And here we are, two years later.”

“The situations are nottt comparable.”

“Why not?”

“Because that’s you and Robin and this is me and Steve.”

His stomach fluttered at the way he said it. The way it fit together like two puzzle pieces. “Me and Steve.”

“Oh, yeah, really good reasoning.—Look, I’m just saying, it’s worth a try. If you care about him that much, do you really want to spend the rest of your life regretting not saying something? You guys graduate in six months, and then, what happens next? If you don’t want Steve to move to some far off city without you, you need to say something.”

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck, that made him feel sick. Every time he thought about graduation, he shut that shit right down. Always felt too soon.

“God, Wheeler, make me throw up, why don’t you?” He groaned quietly, screwing his eyes shut.

“Eddie.” She said after a beat, this time softer. Her palm fell onto his shoulder.

He opened his eyes and met her gaze, shiny blue. Nancy was pretty, and she always had this reassuring air about her. She made him feel safe.

“I see the way you look at him.” She stated gently. “And I think maybe sometimes he looks back, when you’re not paying attention.”

He inhaled sharply, blasting off to the fucking moon again, sinking down like the Titanic, hurtling off a waterfall full-speed on a kayak.

“You can’t just say shit like that, Nance.”

“I wouldn’t say anything I didn’t mean.” She said simply, giving him a tiny shake. “Just know this conversation did not come as a surprise to me, that’s all.”

“Christttt.” Eddie threw his head back then, almost banging the sharp corner of an architecture book. “So now my hopeless crush is obvious?”

Nancy’s lips twisted at the corners, her eyes shimmering.

“No, relax, I’m just perceptive. And Steve is oblivious.—Just, don’t let him stay that way, okay? I think you two would be cute. And happy.”

“Oh my God.” He wailed quietly, fighting the butterflies in his gut. “I’m gonna go now, Nance, before I blow chunks on this ugly carpet.”

He turned to go, then was stopped in his tracks when she snatched the handle on his backpack.

“Text me or call me, okay? Don’t explode.—And come over Wednesday for studying.”

“Already told you I will.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

She released him, and he quickly trailed down the stairs back to the first floor. He threw Fred a peace sign on the way out. Pushing through the door, he sent Nancy a text.

Thanks with the pink, sparkly heart.

***

Eddie avoided going home as long as possible, without making it weird. He didn’t want Steve to think something was up or that he was dodging him, but now he was full of nervous jitters. It felt like the next time he saw Steve he was just going to blubber out, “I’m in love with you,” and then everything would turn into a garbage fire.

He ate his blueberry Pop-Tarts outside the student center, speed-smoked a joint behind the dumpster, and then took a slow walk around campus. Everyone was waking up now, dragging their feet to the dining hall for brunch.

He ordered a coffee from the little café that Mike and Will worked at (but didn’t see them around), and at the last second doubled the order to bring one home to Steve. That was good, right? It could be both a regular, friendly gesture, or, a very subtle hint at courting.

“Courting”? Was this fucking Bridgerton?

Eddie was all kinds of messed up.

Get your shit together, Munson, he told himself.

When he got back to their dorm, Steve was perched at the tiny dining table, his laptop and notebook open. He glared at a textbook about high school guidance counseling and social work.

He looked up when Eddie came in, spooked like a deer in headlights.

“Hey.” Steve blanked. He’d been tapping his pen, but it froze mid-tempo.

“Hey, mornin’. I brought you back coffee.” Eddie offered, holding the red paper cup out. He pushed right through. Had to pretend everything was normal.

“Oh, thanks.” Steve said, sounding surprised. Their hands brushed when he grabbed it. But that was normal. They brushed all the time. They lived together, for Christ’s sake.

“Where’d you go?” Steve asked, “Other than for coffee, I mean. Early Saturday out for you.”

After setting down his backpack, Eddie pulled out a chair.

Between sips, he answered, “Went to return a book. Nancy was working, said ‘hi.’ Just went for a walk. Had breakfast.”

“Productive morning for you, Eds.”

“Sometimes.” He shrugged.

They lapsed into silence, drinking coffee. Eddie scrambled to come up with something to say. Anything, to let Steve know it was fine. But, fuck, did Steve even remember? He had to, right? He looked like he’d seen a ghost when Eddie walked in.

And then he beat him to it.

“Hey, sooo, about last night…” Steve cleared his throat. He shifted in his chair. “That was, um…”

Eddie’s eyes flicked up to him, searching through caramel brown, but Steve wouldn’t look at him yet. He rapped him pen on the paper again, fidgety.

“That was like, definitely not how I wanted to tell you that I’m…bi, but, Robin and I were pretty smashed, so.” He laughed, self-consciously, and then finally looked up.

Amber, champagne, chestnut, copper, all flashed in his irises, bordered by his constellation of freckles. Steve looked so vulnerable, cheeks pink, chewing the inside of his lip with embarrassment. It made Eddie’s heart squish.

“Hey, man, no, don’t worry about it at all, okay?” Eddie hurried to reassure him, setting down his coffee. He didn’t know why, because what was he gonna do, hold Steve’s hand? “Trust me, I know it’s super hard to like, come out. Obviously I’m cool with it, y’know?”

Steve laughed again, kind of high-pitched, and scratched his chin.

“Yeah, no, I knew that you’d be fine with it, I just feel bad it wasn’t like, intentional? Like, I was gonna tell you at some point, y’know? Soon! I just didn’t know how.” He wrapped both hands to lock at the back of his neck, pinched, and then dropped them back to the table.

“Seriously, Steve, it’s cool. No big deal. I’m…happy I know, even if it wasn’t your ideal situation. I’m here for you, man.” Eddie patted Steve’s hand then, like a fucking grandfather congratulating a young man on a job well done. He cringed inside.

Steve nodded, drummed his fingers. He forced out a deep breath.

“Okay. Cool. Thanks, man.”

“Yeah, totally.”

Eddie slipped his hand away, back to gripping his coffee probably too hard. Seeing as Steve was now sober, it was time to try to get some answers. Was this, in fact, hopeless? Or no?

“…So like…” He shifted his head from side to side, wiggled his shoulders playfully. Better to take a lighthearted approach.

Steve raised an eyebrow, smiling, but clearly confused.

“‘Like,’ what?”

“Oh, give a guy some details here, Stevie. We’ve been besties for four years, you can tell me! When did you realize you liked boys?” Eddie emphasized the “s” to sound like a “z.”

“Good God.” Steve barked out a laugh and rubbed his eyes hard. His skin reddened at the contact. “It’s gonna be unbearable, isn’t it? Like relentless shit-giving from you and everyone.”

“No!” Eddie chuckled back. He swished his coffee. “I think Will will probably be chill. Seeing as he also kisses boys.—Have you kissed boys?”

“Dude!” Steve cried, but he was laughing. “I—yeah, like, twice. This is new for me, okay? I’ve maybe always known but only recently…acted. Over the summer.”

Okay, ow, fuck, shit. Eddie unintentionally gouged himself in the chest. He shouldn’t have asked about other guys. Now he was a whirlwind, heart clattering around in his torso and beating hard into his ribcage.

Who had been lucky enough to kiss Steve Harrington? Had they done more than kiss?

He opened his mouth to recover and bite something back playfully, but it burnt out like a cigarette in his throat. His mouth was suddenly dry.

Thankfully, Steve didn’t even notice. He was playing with the pen again, looking shy.

“It was, like, nothing serious. Just to make sure, I dunno.” He spun the pen in a loose circle, twisting it all over the tabletop. Eddie likened it to his intestines, winding themselves into a labyrinth inside him.

“But, yeah,” Steve made a sound through his nose. “I’m definitely…not straight. So, there’s that.”

Eddie had to get this back. He had to snap out of it and stop wondering what it would be like to put his palm over Steve’s fingers, toss the pen aside, rush into his lap and make him want to never kiss any other guy again.

“Happens to the best of us.” Eddie winked, feigning confidence. “Well, sweet.”

Eddie downed his coffee and lightly slapped the table, his rings clinking dully. He offered Steve a lazy smile, despite the torrential, bludgeoning feeling in his abdomen. This was going to be…even harder than anticipated.

“Welcome to the club.”

***

The “study night” at Nancy and Robin’s place a few days later did, in fact, morph into the total opposite. What had started as a well-intentioned meeting of friends, cramming into their off-campus apartment to get shit done, became the usual fucking circus that was the Party and Co.

Jonathan and Argyle had taken a break on the balcony after a few hours to sample some Purple Palm Tree Delight, to which Eddie quietly followed, to which Mike and Lucas barged after, and then Steve had a conniption while all their younger friends took to smoking.

“No, it’s not my first time, for real!” Mike tried to flex on them. It wasn’t Lucas’ either, but he wasn’t being a dick about it.

“Yeah, Steve, just chill!” Dustin waved dismissively at him. “We aren’t babies anymore, despite your unending desire to mother us.”

Will and El (short for Jane Ellen) had politely declined, because Will was neck-deep in a graphic design project on his iPad and El was still attempting to read her psychology textbook. Max sat cross-legged on the floor next to them, and chose instead to drink an overbearing red sangria Robin had made.

“I’m not mothering you,” Steve glared, “Just don’t want to deal with you doing anything stupid.”

“Oh, like we didn’t do anything stupid when we were younger, Steve.” Robin rolled her eyes, took a joint from Argyle to take a puff. They were sitting at the kitchen table with Jonathan, homework abandoned. “They’ll be fine. We don’t even have that much.”

“See, Steve?” Dustin grinned airily. “We’ll be fine.”

Steve grumbled like a middle-aged man and slumped onto to the oversized beanbag next to Eddie. Eddie, who was riding the tiniest buzz in the world but trying to cling onto it and chill the fuck out.

Five days since Steve’s accidental outing. Five days of pretending to act completely normal like he wasn’t having a coronary.

They hadn’t really talked about it again. Because Eddie refused to let it be a big deal. He didn’t want Steve to freak out. But now everything was…magnified, intensified, exaggerated. Like now, he was hyperaware that their thighs were touching as they sank into the fabric.

Five days of really cold showers.

Steve shifted, threw a leg into Eddie’s lap to be more comfortable. Because it had never mattered before, because they were close friends, because physical contact was not an issue. Because Steve wouldn’t pop a fucking boner with his roommate sitting on him.

Eddie cleared his throat, casual, slid his hips to readjust so that Steve’s leg fell more over his knees than his fucking crotch. Kind of better? Maybe?

All he felt was the weight of it. Denim on denim. Steve’s warmth at his hip, Steve’s elbow close to his side, Steve’s sharp, Eucalyptus and Spearmint smell, Steve’s—

Voice, fucking talking to him.

“…and it’s annoying. Always saying I’m harping. It’s just outta the goodness of my heart, y’know?”

“Oh, I know.” Eddie supplied quickly. He took a swig of the sangria he had in a solo cup. He needed to dull his fucking senses.

“Quit bitching, Steve.” Dustin giggled from the other side of the room. “Don’t be a party pooper.”

“I’m not a party pooper!” Steve blabbered at them, jerking his body forward. Eddie could feel the tension in his torso, taunt under a thin cotton t-shirt.

“Prove it.” Mike goaded, albeit flatly. He was laying on his back in the center of the room, watching the ceiling fan spin. Nancy, seated on the couch with a binder of old newspapers for a journalism course, rolled her eyes.

“Nah, I don’t owe you shit.” Steve crossed his arms. Eddie wasn’t sure why he had such snark today but it was kind of endearing. He fought the urge to run a finger over Steve’s tight bicep.

“How about, if you’re not a party pooper, you invite us to a party.” Lucas proposed. He still had his head on straight apparently, shoulder-to-shoulder with Max.

“Oh, like a frat party!” Argyle piped up suddenly from his spot.

“Oh, yes!” Dustin agreed, clasping his hands together loudly. “Brilliant idea.”

“I’ll pass on that one.” Will mumbled into his drawing. El, usually quiet, bumped his shoulder.

“I think that would actually be fun, Will. Our first big college party.”

“They’re not so bad, Will.” Jonathan encouraged. He was always gently pushing Will to socialize.

“But most frat guys are douchebags.” Max said into her cup.

“Uh, stereotype.” Mike grumbled, “Want me to say most sorority girls are bitches?”

“Mike,” Nancy kicked him in the ribs. “You’re being annoying.”

“Okay, but like, real talk, c’mon, Steve!” Lucas begged, “If I wanna rush next semester I need an in, and obviously you have an in.”

Eddie felt Steve glowering beside him. He was bristling with consideration, like he didn’t want to give them the satisfaction, but also wanted to maintain their opinion that he was a Big Cool Guy.

“Fine.” He conceded, after a long minute of quiet.

Dustin, Lucas, and Mike started to cheer.

“But recognize that I’m letting you in and I can just as easily kick you out. Don’t test me.”

“Oh, it’s been a while since we’ve gone to a frat party.” Robin sang the last words. “Are we all coming? Group outing? Obviously, I’m coming.”

“I could certainly make some revenue at a frat party.” Eddie raised an eyebrow and turned his head to face Steve. They were close, two breaths apart. He counted his tiny moles, looked at the pretty patterns in his eyes. He could’ve just kissed him, right here. Steve’s lips looked chapped but he could’ve kissed him.

Steve sighed heavily, again like a middle-aged man, and tossed his head back. It hit the beanbag with a soft sound. His neck stretched, looking delectable.

Eddie shifted again.

“Sure, everyone can come. There’s one this weekend outside downtown. I have to get there early but you guys can all meet there.”

“Yoooo!” Dustin called excitedly, doing some goofy dance in celebration.

“Just be chill. Please.” Steve asked, “And the girls are free but guys have to pay cover. I dunno how much it is, I haven’t paid since freshman year.”

“What?!” Mike exclaimed, finally sitting up. He blinked rapidly then, like the blood rushed to his head.

“See?” Max smirked, taking a drink, “Douchebags.”

“It’s because we’re babes, Mike.” Robin explained. “Girls are babes. Babes bring more people to the party. Boys are not babes.”

Eddie cast another look over at Steve. He’d lifted his head again, pushing away hair that had fallen into his face. Eddie could tell, from here, that he was putting on this tough guy persona, this “I’m a cool senior in a frat,” air, but up close, he saw Steve’s lips twitching into a little smile.

Robin was so wrong. Steve Harrington was a fucking babe.

And Eddie really wanted to tell him.

Chapter Text

The frat party was Saturday night, Steve told them. In a line of townhouses where all the units were rented out by brothers. The whole neighborhood was Greek Row, basically. Get there at ten, he’d said, with a couple bucks in cash.

“And, no, Dustin,” Steve had sighed, “There unfortunately is not a theme this time. Maybe the next one.”

So, here it was, Friday afternoon, Eddie sitting in the longest goddamn lecture of his life, twenty minutes between him and the weekend.

Eddie liked college, generally. For someone who’d barely scraped through high school, he found that college was much more enjoyable. He still knew fuck-all of what he was going to do with his life, but honing in on his musical talents and his desire to spark that passion in others was a lot better than algebra, or geometry. Much easier to excel.

He normally liked this class, even. Digital Sound Design. The professor was eccentric, everybody was chill, the work was fun. But Eddie couldn’t stop thinking about a freaking frat party, like he was a sparkly-eyed teenager envisioning a big university shindig.

He’d been to plenty. He didn’t make super frequent showings, but at almost twenty-two he’d had his fair share of the experiences; deep, overpowering bass, clouds of smoke, makeout central, spiked jungle juice. It was everything one would expect. Just like the movies.

So why did he feel like he was going home to meet the fucking parents?

There was this weird pressure now, purely internally, something he’d inflicted on himself, that he needed to be extra cool. Make face for all Steve’s brothers, or whatever, prove himself.

Prove himself to Steve.

A tiny, embarrassing voice inside explained it to him.

“You want Steve to wanna kiss you.” It said. “Show him you’re the best choice.”

Because, Steve was surrounded by cool guys, all the time. And they weren’t real brothers, like, no shit, duh, but they all had this bond, so—what if Steve already met somebody, like, maybe had kissed someone at one of their parties, against the wall in the shadows where nothing mattered, and—

And Eddie’s insecurities were choking him from the inside out. He took a stuttering breath.

He wasn’t paying attention to class anymore, just dragging and shaping square selection boxes on his desktop with the mouse. He stared at the tracks open in Adobe Audition. Did not absorb what his professor was saying.

Eddie needed to get a fucking handle on this. He was acting crazy. Steve could kiss who he wanted to, he wasn’t his to have.

But, like, it would’ve been nice if he was?

Which brought him back to the same goddamn dilemma: To Tell Or Not To Tell?

Eddie sighed.

For now, it was Not To Tell. Even if Steve was the biggest babe of them all. He’d been flip-flopping over this for two days, since the beanbag.

Preserving friendship.

Maybe he could test the waters, if he felt brave, but right now he didn’t feel brave at all. He was tiny, mouse-sized, staring at a reflection of himself and shouting, “Ugly! Stupid! Embarrassing! Loser!”

“…so, yeah, finish those up and we’ll review next week. Feel free to shoot me an email or come to office hours if you’re stuck in the meantime.”

Oh, shit, class was over.

Eddie quickly saved his project and ejected his hard drive, then yanked out the cables with entirely too much force and skittered out of the room. Anxiety bubbled.

He tracked down the sidewalk, unsure if he wanted to go home or not. He didn’t really want to see Steve right now (actually incorrect). Maybe he could convince Dustin to go and get pizza? Maybe he could FaceTime with Wayne? It wasn’t too cold or windy. The sun was actually slanting through the clouds. It would be pleasant to sit outside for a bit.

In the pocket of his jeans, his phone started to vibrate.

Eddie thumbed it out, delighted to see Chrissy’s name onscreen, paired with the megaphone emoji and every color option for the heart. Just what he needed, actually. His mood immediately picked up.

“Chrissy Cunningham. To what do I owe the surprise, angel?”

Eddie walked with purpose now, looking for a place to make camp. Their conversations were usually long. He found an unoccupied bench at the front of the arts building, overlooking a popular walkway. Good for people-watching and mindless conversation.

“Hi, Eddie.” He could hear the smile in her bright voice. “Just missed you!”

“Aw.” Eddie clutched his chest overdramatically, even though she couldn’t see it. “Miss you too, babe. Boston still treating you good, or are you going to come running back to my loving arms anytime soon?”

“Oh, shut up.” He imagined her rolling her eyes. “Boston is still wonderful. Still good donuts too.”

“Still waiting for you to send me one.”

“Yeah, let me just DoorDash it real quick.”

They giggled stupidly. God, he missed Chrissy. They’d become fast, unlikely friends senior year of high school. One day he was selling her pot in the woods, and the next she was joining Hellfire Club.

“Job still everything you dreamed of?” He smiled genuinely.

Right after graduation, after several months of therapy and working through a lot of personal goals, Chrissy got a position with a really great organization focused on young women’s empowerment, sexual liberation, body positivity, and self-love. Right in her element. They had loved her, slid her right into an entry-level role even without a college degree.

It had been fun, that last stretch of high school, seeing her come out of her shell. She’d kicked Jason Carver to the curb, drilled through her daily affirmations like cheerleading practice. She’d started to blossom.

“Oh, of course.” Chrissy gushed. “Not always a walk in the park but I love it so much, still. I actually calledddd because I know a certain someone is graduating in a few months and I need to put in my time off to come see him! Tell me dates.”

“Who’s that?” Eddie joked. “You mean me? I dropped out, sorry. Shit’s hard. Gonna buy a beat-up van and one-man-band it across the U.S.”

“Well, I’ll be at every show then.” Didn’t even miss a beat. She would, too. “But, seriously, when’s graduation?”

Eddie made a mock-vomiting noise, apparently loudly, because a girl walking by looked at him sideways. He stuck out his tongue.

“It’s like, May, or something. I don’t wanna think about itttt.”

“Don’t make me text Dustin and ask.”

“Oh, text him. He’d love to talk to you.”

“Fine, jerk.” Chrissy chuckled into his ear. “Anything else new going on?”

Oh, you have no idea, he wanted to say, but refrained.

“Not really.” Eddie shrugged. “Same shit, different day. You gonna be home for Thanksgiving? Let’s hang out.”

“I think so!” She answered. “Nooo desire to see my mom, but dad’s still in Hawkins too.”

“Right, they get all their shit finalized?”

“Yeah,” Chrissy grumbled. “Worst divorce I’ve ever heard of.”

“Well, we can drink away our feelings at the local dive bar.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He could hear the devilish smile in her voice. “Maybe we could even find a picnic table behind the high school.”

Eddie snickered. “Starting to sound like a shady hookup, babe.”

“I know! Such a shame that you’re gay.”

“Isn’t it?”

They fell into easy laughter, two sides of the same coin.

Chrissy picked back up after a moment of comfortable quiet. “Really though, nothing new? No boys coming around?”

“Negative.”

Eddie watched throngs of students pass by, somewhat bundled for the chill. It was funny, how, plenty of good-looking people passed, probably a handful that were even his type, but, nobody sparked him anymore. Other than Steve. He actually couldn’t remember the last time he’d hooked up with someone, let alone where he’d even asked their name.

He breathed a deep sigh. “Lover’s Lake is all dried up, my dear.”

“Well, same boat. Maybe…maybe if we’re still single when we’re thirty, we can get married for the tax break.”

“Deal.”

They went on shooting the shit for a while, going into more detail about Chrissy’s job, Eddie’s classes. Caught up on drama about people from high school who weren’t really relevant anymore but were fun to talk about. Eddie let her know how the whole Party was doing.

“And Steve’s good?” She asked, without teasing or ill-intention, because she was clueless to his stupid crush. Nancy was the first and only person he’d told. He wanted to share, wanted to get his feelings out and maybe get more guidance on the situation, but he would’ve had to out Steve to Chrissy. And that wasn’t right. It was easier that Nancy had already known, when Eddie started to explain. It was just too much mess to get into right now.

“Yeah, he’s great! We’re actually going to one of his frat parties tomorrow, so be ready for a lot of drunken Snaps.”

“I look forward to them!” Chrissy gushed.

“We’ll see how—”

“Hey, Eds!”

Eddie snapped his head up from where he’d been watching a squirrel jump around a tree trunk. A little ways off, looking at him across the path, was…speak of the devil, Steve Harrington.

Clearly fresh from the gym, Steve had on a plain red quarter-zip (zipped all the way down, thank you) and a pair of black athletic pants. He loosely held one backpack strap over the right shoulder, with a small towel thrown over the left. A U of I water bottle dangled from his grip.

He was sweaty, hair curly and clinging to his neck and forehead. Little puffs of air fogged around his mouth when he breathed. Steve lifted his water bottle, like a wave, but didn’t walk away. He stood there, as if he was waiting for Eddie, amongst the eb and flow of bodies.

“Hey, sorry, Chris, I gotta go. But we’ll talk soon. Love you.”

“Love you too, Eddie! Bye!” She said cheerfully.

Eddie hung up the phone and pocketed it, pushing to stand from the bench. It had been starting to make his ass cold, so the timing wasn’t bad. He moseyed up to Steve and pointedly did not look at his exposed collarbones or the subtle line of his pecs leading down from the zipper.

What did he have on under there? A wifebeater? Nothing? Certainly looked like nothing—well, as far as he could tell, without actually looking.

“Hey, Stevie.” Eddie greeted, sidling up to him. “How goes it?”

They fell into step side-by-side through the masses, like a river in the forest.

“Who was that?” Steve asked. His cheeks were pink from his workout and the weather.

“Chrissy, just sayin’ hey. She wanted to know when graduation is, she’s coming here for it. Just caught up. She’ll be in Hawkins for Thanksgiving too.”

Steve nodded, shot Eddie a half-smile. “Good old Hawkins, right?”

“Pshh, yeah.—You can come with us if you want, we’re gonna go to the Hideaway or something.”

The crowd finally thinned out, opening up to the bigger campus courtyard. Even with the chill, students congregated in groups; studying on picnic tables, playing guitar, tossing footballs. Eddie heard a shout and watched a dog go long for a neon green frisbee. Its owner chased after, laughing.

Steve made an unpleasant noise in the back of his throat, despite the cute dog. “Might have to take a rain check this time. Whole family’s coming to town. Mom and Dad just did all these renovations, which is so dumb because like, they’re never even there?”

“Ah, the whole Harrington show pony thing.”

“That’s me.” Steve replied flatly. The grip on his backpack strap was just a little tighter. “Can’t wait for all the usual questions.”

His voice went higher, morphing into a caricature of various relatives. “‘Steve, I thought you were going to take over your dad’s company? Steve, why did you switch your major from business again? Why does a high school need a counselor or a social worker anyway? They’re just kids! Are you seeing any nice girls? Do you have a job lined up yet? What salary are you planning for? Did you actually get that damned vaccination? When’s the last time you went to church? Are you planning to move to upstate New York near your parents’ condo after graduation? Have you thought about a 401k? What about a fucking haircut’?”

Eddie let their shoulders brush after the tirade. A gentle bump saying, “I’m here,” without words.

“Can we make up some funny answers to those?” He joked.

Steve snorted. “Yeah, ‘Sorry, grandma, no girlfriend again this year, I’m trying to get a guy to fuck me, actually.’”

Oh, shit. If that didn’t go straight to Eddie’s dick, holy fucking Jesus Christ. Like, fuck.

He swooned, he dropped, he fell right off a cliff into a tumultuous sea of swirling desire. Struggled to keep his head above water.

Eddie immediately forced laughter, probably too obnoxiously, too loudly. He slapped Steve’s shoulder covered by the towel. It was damp to the touch, and then he was thinking of Steve dripping, and wanting to get fucked, and maybe something about a locker room, and—

“She’ll get a kick out of that.” Eddie choked out, to which Steve looked over at him with a wry smile. He apparently did not notice the pure disaster.

“Yeah, might just say it, whatever.” Steve shrugged as they made their way into their dorm. Vickie, a friend from high school and one of the RAs, threw a peace sign from behind the front desk. She had her nose tucked into a textbook, so they didn’t stop to talk, which Eddie was grateful for. He needed to hole up in his fucking room like a freaky, socially awkward hermit.

Eddie followed Steve up the quick flight of stairs and into their space when he unlocked the door. Taking off their shoes at the same time was so painstakingly domestic.

Eddie tried not to imagine taking off other things too.

“Care if I shower?” Steve threw over his shoulder when he stepped into the doorway of his bedroom to drop his stuff. Fulfilling Eddie’s exact desires, he peeled off his quarter-zip and tossed it onto the bed.

Goddamn. Eddie had been right. Nothing on underneath.

He raked his eyes over Steve’s back, quick, cut away again. God, his shoulder blades were so hot. Eddie fiddled with the fridge to keep busy.

Steve’s body was already pretty burned into his brain from years of living together, but here was that magnification again. He was steaming like a fucking kettle.

He wanted to trail his hands over Steve’s sculpted sides, over each scar left over from general roughhousing and years of sports. He wanted to touch each mole and freckle, brush through the fine hairs on his chest, slide right under his abdomen—

“Eds?”

“Yeah?” Eddie banged his head on the inside of the refrigerator, elbows-deep pretending to look for juice.

“Do you care if I take a shower?”

“No, go for it!” Eddie called back, staring at the bare yellow bulb in the fridge, trying to render himself blind.

“Cool, thanks.”

“Uh huh.”

Eddie finally emerged when he heard the bathroom door click shut. He rubbed the bump on his head. It fucking hurt.

***

Saturday night barged in like a stampede. Eddie spent a stupid amount of time in front of the mirror, changing outfits. He never cared about that shit normally, but it took four whole tries to decide on something. He settled on a Blink-182 t-shirt, torn-up black pants, his classic Adidas, and dark leather jacket. He stuffed his Vans backpack full of merchandise and threw it on too.

The entire Party, sans Steve, met outside the student center and piled into two Uber XLs, splitting the fare an obnoxious number of times. The kids (they weren’t kids, obviously, Eddie knew that, but he’d always call them that) were practically bouncing on their toes. He ended up in the same van as Dustin, Lucas, Mike, and Will. The girls had raced over to Robin and Nancy’s ride at the last second, teasing the boys and piling in behind Jonathan and Argyle.

“Sometimes I wonder if she even really likes dating me. I mean, she does, right?” Lucas looked between the group from the third row with Dustin. “Right?”

Eddie craned his head around from the front seat. “Yeah, man, she’s just got a different love language than you.”

“She’s just playing hard to get.” Mike shrugged. “Some people are like that.”

“Some people sure are.” Will quipped, sliding his narrowed eyes over to Mike. Their hands were linked over Mike’s thigh.

Dustin laughed at that. “Yeah, at least she didn’t make you wait like, sixteen years or something to realize she wanted to go out with you.”

“Good point.” Lucas chuckled.

Will deadpanned, but didn’t let go. “Mmhm.”

Mike’s cheeks went bright red. “All of you shut the hell up.”

The ride went by quickly after that, twenty minutes weaving past the energetic downtown area into the suburban outskirts. They clambered out of the van onto shiny pavement, into the yellow ruddiness of streetlights. Eddie made sure everyone tipped the driver. Then they waited on the sidewalk for the other SUV, dragon-breathing in the cold.

Eddie panned around, taking in the neighborhood. It was bustling with teens and twenty-somethings, popping from one townhouse to the next. Cars lined every curb. Eddie wondered if anyone over thirty would be brave enough to rent a unit here. Felt unlikely.

The girls, and Jonathan and Argyle arrived three minutes later.

“Steve said it’s unit one-oh-three. Kinda beige with brown shutters.” Robin explained.

Argyle looked around. “They all look like that, man.”

“Well,” Nancy took her girlfriend by the hand and began the journey, “Then everybody keep an eye out.”

It didn’t take too long to find the place. Steve’s fraternity letters were flying on a sheet from a second-story window. There was a line out the garage door, bass spilling onto wet grass. Their group fell in.

“If anybody wants to leave early or anything, just say so.” Jonathan told them, trying not to look directly at Will. “But try to have fun.”

El and Max were arm-in-arm. The redhead used her other elbow to shove Lucas. “Bet I can wipe the floor with you in beer pong.”

“You’re on.”

“We’ve gotta find Steve as soon as we can.” Dustin was already flipping bills out of his wallet. “Show him we can definitely be chill and cool at his special frat party.”

Eddie was absolutely going to do mental gymnastics to exude chillness and coolness. He nodded, but didn’t say anything back.

He could feel Nancy staring at him.

Eddie snapped his eyes over to meet hers and jutted his chin out to say, “Quit it!’” Nancy turned away, visibly amused.

At the front of the line, Eddie handed a five dollar bill to a dark-haired jock. He threw the cash in a Home Depot bucket (already filled to the brim) and smudged a purple stamp on Eddie’s wrist.

The group wiggled into the packed house. Eddie could already feel Dustin bristling beside him. It was intimidating, cramming in like sardines to a stranger’s place, in a cloud of overpowering, fragrant smoke and deep, booming music. Eddie had been going to house parties since he was like, thirteen, but he knew Dustin and Co. were a bit more goody two shoes.

The townhouse was dim, lit up by a haphazardly-strung disco ball and multicolored LEDs threaded along the ceiling and floorboards. All the furniture had been put somewhere else, replaced by fold-up plastic tables and chairs. A heavily stained couch remained, occupied by two pairs of people making out on either end. The longest table stretched across the living room, triangles of red solo cups at either end. Max, fairly fiery and confident in all situations, dragged Lucas and El to get in line for the pong tournament. Mike, Will, and Dustin followed after them like lost puppies.

“So much for finding Steve right away.” Nancy laughed over the bass, crowding her head close to Robin and Eddie’s. “Dustin’s lost in the sauce here.”

“Gotta get your feet wet sometime, right?” Jonathan shouted when he and Argyle joined the circle. “We’ll hang around here if you guys wanna go off and look for him.”

“I’m just along for the ride, my dudes.” Argyle nodded in agreement. Guy had been stoned for hours already.

Robin cupped a hand beside her mouth to try and be louder. “I texted him that we’re here but haven’t heard back. Let’s go see!”

Eddie wriggled through the crowd in the path created by Robin and Nancy. He kept an eye on her bouncing curls, nearly losing sight in the swarm. It was hot in the townhouse, fueled by pure body heat, torsos gyrating and dancing to whatever bullshit EDM rap radio remix this was. The songs were changing and evolving into each other too much to identify, and the speakers were blown out anyway.

Eddie breathed in the warm air, billowing with overly-sweet vapes and e-cigs. He noted a few purists sucking in traditional joints, pinned them in his head to chat up later to see if he could make a buck.

They finally made their way to the cramped kitchen and dining room area. Same situation as the front of the house, no furniture but for a couple card tables.

And there was Steve Harrington, slinging shots behind the kitchen island like a regular bartender.

The counters were littered with half-empty bottles of liquor, lemonade, soda, and Kool-Aid. There were two gigantic coolers on the floor, full of a fizzy, blue liquid. Plastic bags of ice were ripped open in the sink next to a mountain of solo cups.

Steve looked like a fucking model. He had seven tiny shot glasses lined up in front of him, and he aptly and efficiently poured blue raspberry Svedka into some and Fireball in the others.

He’d rolled up the sleeves of his black Henley shirt and popped all three buttons to reveal those damn collarbones again. He was smiling charmingly at the people he’d poured shots for. His grin was blinding, his hair was perfect, his forearms rippled when he set the bottle down, and Eddie was a puddle on the floor. Fuck.

“I’ll catch up with you guys!” Eddie said into Robin’s ear. He caught Nancy’s sudden gaze and promptly ignored it. “Gonna go make some sales!”

“Have fun!” Robin replied, none the wiser. She squeezed the hem of his shirt and let go. Quickly, he sidestepped the two of them and dashed out of the kitchen before Steve could see him.

Eddie made his rounds back through the house, making deals with anyone who would take them. He had a lot of stuff pre-rolled, easy money, and up-charged for anyone who was being a dick. He spent a few minutes watching the pong tournament, cheering on Max as she obliterated everyone else, Lucas included. The kids all appeared to be enjoying themselves, stiffness melting as time went on. Dustin danced like a lunatic.

Eddie decided to hit the basement next, where a couple couches and air mattresses were all pushed together. He was surprised that more people weren’t down here, but the heat was kind of stifling, and a lot of the crowd had migrated to the fenced-in backyard. That would be his next destination.

He sold two blunts to a preppy-looking girl and her boyfriend, who immediately lit up in the corner. They ended up shotgunning and drifting into their own little, semi-erotic world, so Eddie excused himself. The next few people declined, so he turned to leave and head back upstairs.

It hadn’t been a bad night. His backpack was loaded with a handful of twenty dollar bills and he’d killed forty-five minutes. Maybe the initial rush of seeing Steve in his frat boy glory had worn off, maybe he could have a normal conversation now without going cross-eyed.

He looked down for the first few steps, careful of a spilled drink and a rolling beer bottle—

And ran straight into someone.

“Fuck, sorry, dude.” Eddie apologized, backtracking. He almost slipped off the last step, caught his footing, and looked up into the piercing eyes of Jason Carver.

“Well, well, well.” Jason sneered. “If it isn’t the freak, Munson.”

Andy stood behind him, looking like a clipped toenail. Always Jason’s puny lackey. He actually wore the Hawkins letterman tonight, how fucking cringy.

“Look, man, really not in the mood for this little game.” Eddie sighed, rolling his eyes, putting on his usual air of confidence.

He had such bigger fish to fry than his fucking high school bully.

Though, that truthfully didn’t make Jason any less intimidating. He’d beefed up since high school; taller and broader. He had easily fifty pounds on Eddie, but all of it muscle. Any time Eddie saw him around campus, he still walked the other way.

“A game?” Jason snickered. He started towards Eddie, footfalls hitting the stairs in heavy stomps. Eddie stood his ground. There were other people in here, Jason wouldn’t try to start some shit.

Right?

“I have zero interest in playing any games with you, Eddie. I’m just surprised to see you here, y’know? Who let you in here?” Jason was two feet away, eyes blazing like a wildfire. Andy was right at his shoulder, gnawing on his bottom lip like a troll.

“I paid, just like everyone else, man.” Eddie answered. He shoved his hands into his pockets, trying to feign that he was relaxed.

“Hm, okay. So, you come here, sell all this pot to our party guests, and then think you can just dip afterwards? Don’t you think we deserve a cut of the profit? We practically lined these people up for you, Munson. We gave you a storefront.”

Jason made a sweeping gesture, referring to the high couple giggling in the corner. Eddie realized with a sinking feeling that the other kids were leaving. Maybe they’d sensed the bad vibes, didn’t wanna be involved. They disappeared to the first floor.

“Definitely not doing that, man. Sell your own weed if you wanna make money.” He grumbled back, giving the two of them the stink eye. He didn’t let his face betray the knots in his stomach or the racing of his heart. Jason had played with him for years, a tomcat with a limping mouse.

“Ha!” Jason barked. He took another step, now fully in Eddie’s bubble. He smelled really strongly of expensive cologne, like an Old Spice commercial. “I don’t smoke that shit, it makes you stupid.”

Maybe Eddie was stupid, because his next words were the nail in the coffin. A fucking death sentence. But he hated this guy so much.

“Ohh, right, that’s why Chrissy broke up with you, then. All the weed I gave her just made her so dumb.”

He saw the exact moment when Jason decided to pounce. A twitch of the eyebrow, a furl of the upper lip. He let out a shout and rushed at Eddie, hitting him like a train.

Eddie gasped when his back hit the wall. Ears ringing, he thrashed to throw him off.

“Don’t talk about her, you fucking prick.” Jason pushed his forearm hard into Eddie’s neck, making him wheeze. Over his shoulder, Andy just grinned. There in case backup was needed.

“You didn’t make Chrissy dumb.” Jason’s nose was half an inch from Eddie’s own, mouth pulled into a scowl. His perfect blonde hair dipped into his eyes. “You—you corrupted her, with some freaky crap. You’re a weird fucking cultist and a fag, and all your nasty shit rubbed off on Chris and got her all messed up, and I’ll never forgive you for it.”

Jason leaned back, growled, and spit right in Eddie’s face.

Eddie screwed his eyes shut. It was too hot, all over his cheeks and eyelids. His head felt like a balloon, about to pop.

“And I’m tired of seeing you everywhere I go, you trailer trash piece of shit.”

Jason wrenched his elbow forward, digging it into Eddie’s skin. It jabbed against his Adam’s apple, forcing out a string of coughs.

“What’s wrong, Munson? All that smoking fuck up your lungs too?”

It was starting to be too much, a burn, a ragged slog to get in air, all of Jason’s body weight ramming him into the wall—

“Hey! Hey!”

A voice like a lion roared from somewhere nearby. Jason was yanked off of him and Eddie crumbled, folding in half to clutch his throat and suck in air.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Carver?”

Eddie finally looked up, shocked to see Steve snarling at Jason, fist bunched up in the front of his shirt. He was an open flame, catching on looseleaf paper, poised to throw his free hand into Jason’s pearly teeth.

“What am I doing?” Jason gritted back. He shot his eyes to Andy for help, but it seemed Steve was the alpha male here. Andy didn’t move an inch.

“This little bitch snuck into our party and—”

“I invited him, asshole. He’s my fucking roommate. He’s my friend.” Steve actually shook him, Jason’s shirt collar threatening to tear. He pushed his forehead into Jason’s, words like thunder.

“You’re the one who isn’t supposed to be here, man. Get a fucking grip, you’re a loser.” Steve finally untangled his hand, forcefully shoving Jason back in the process. He tripped over his own feet, colliding backwards with Andy.

“Get out of here, man, before I change my mind and beat the shit out of you for this.”

Steve sounded like cut glass and looked just as chilling. His expression was dark, a shadow of the sixteen-year-old King of Hawkins who built his empire by breaking down others.

Eddie watched the exchange with bated breath. His windpipe was scratchy.

Jason clearly crawled through the trenches to decide if he wanted to say something back or not. He’d open his mouth to speak, then snap it closed again. He was volcanic, about the blow, but had seemingly met his match. Nobody messed with Steve Harrington.

He snorted like a bulldog and spun on his heel to leave, snatching Andy’s bicep to follow.

“Touch Eddie again and you’re dead, Jason.” Steve tagged on. “Kiss your prospects goodbye, man, I’ll end you. In more ways than one, you know I’ve got the means.”

Jason didn’t spare back a glance, but picked up the pace.

“Fuck off, Harrington.”

The two of them stumbled up the stairs.

“Jesus, you’re scary, dude.” Eddie mumbled. He finally stood up straight, speeding heart bumping back to normal. He dragged his sleeve over his face, trying to clean up Jason’s gross saliva. “Remind me to never get on your bad side.”

“Shit, Eds, you okay?” Steve was beside him in a second. He tipped Eddie’s chin up, surveying his neck. “Some girl said a fight was about to break out down here, I didn’t know it was you.”

The space cadets in the corner cackled, must’ve thought that was funny.

Eddie tried not to flinch, not from the pain but because Steve’s gentle fingertips on his Adam’s apple felt like molten lava.

“Hopefully that doesn’t bruise. You breathing okay now?—I’m fucking sorry about Carver, he’s really not supposed to be here. He got kicked out of our chapter last semester for being a dick, but he won’t quit slinking around.”

“It’s not your fault, Stevie.” Eddie told him softly. “Guy’s been on my case for years.—And yeah, I’m breathing all right. Just a little crunchy for a second there.”

Steve’s hand fell away. He wore a deep frown.

“Thanks for saving me, though.” Eddie continued. “Feel like a loser that I couldn’t do it myself, but—”

“No, man, you’re not a loser. He is, like I said to his ugly face.”

“He’s…actually kind of good-looking though?”

Steve rolled his eyes and sighed, pulling Eddie into a surprise hug. He froze, caught off guard, and then quickly hugged back as normally as two male roommates would.

It was too cozy. He was safe here, home here, meant to live in these arms. Christ, they didn’t hug enough. Eddie felt touch-starved, wanted to stay bundled up in the strength of Steve Harrington for the rest of the night, for the rest of his life—

He made himself pull away, patting Steve’s back the way bros always do.

“I think I’m gonna head home now.” Eddie told him. He leaned to pick up his backpack, which had fallen to the floor in the tussle. He was relieved Andy hadn’t swiped it.

“Aw, what, no!” Steve immediately protested, looking like a kicked puppy. “C’mon, don’t let those guys ruin your night.”

Eddie waved his hands, shook his head. “Nah, really, it’s okay. I got to see the kids having fun, made some extra cash, I’m good, man. Just gonna call an Uber. I’ll leave a light on for ya, don’t worry.”

“How ‘bout—lemme make you one drink first, stay for that?”

Steve caught his wrist, giving Eddie a swarm of butterflies.

“Plus, Jason’s probably pissed and I don’t want him to try any shit on the way out. I’d rather you wait with me, just to be sure.”

“Wait with me.”

How could Eddie say “no” to that?

“All right, fine. Better be a good drink.”

Steve led him back upstairs by the wrist, which was close enough to holding hands that it was giving Eddie heart palpitations. Forget being cut off from his air supply a few minutes ago, his brain was foggy for other reasons now.

When they made it back to the kitchen, amidst the resounding music and flashing lights, Steve let go of him and rooted around for a cup and ice. Eddie leaned on the island, watching. He wondered where everyone else was.

He was still kind of keyed up, so he tried to wind down and observe the process.

However, all Steve did was scoop up the spritzy blue jungle juice from the cooler. He held the cup out to Eddie with a smirk.

“Here you go.”

“Thought you were making me a drink, douchebag. What gasoline concoction is this?”

Steve jiggled the cup, making the ice slosh together.

“I made the ‘gasoline concoction,’ just drink it. It’s good.”

“Is it roofied?”

“Jesus, no!”

Eddie swiped the cup from him and took a swig, pleasantly surprised at the flavors. What normally tasted like acetone was mostly blue Gatorade, lemonade, Sprite, coconut, maybe a sour mix. Not bad.

“You don’t even taste the liquor.” Eddie mused, staring at the ice cubes.

“See?” Steve carded his fingers through his hair, posturing. “And there’s a lot in there. I know what I’m doing.”

Eddie hid his smile in the rim of the cup. “Mmhm.”

“Can I take you somewhere cool?” Steve asked him next, pouring himself a cup too. “And then you can go, if you want. Let’s just kill some time, make sure Carver left.”

“‘Somewhere cool.’” Eddie chuckled. “Sure.”

Steve flipped the cooler closed and then turned, waving a hand for Eddie to follow. They serpentined through the living room, down a hallway, and ended up at a door that Eddie hadn’t even noticed before. Steve twisted the knob and revealed another staircase, this one going up.

The second floor was another hallway with three more closed doors. Like fucking Alice in Wonderland. Steve shouldered through the solo one on the left side. It was a traditional, gross, fratty boy bedroom. Mismatched furniture, porn star posters, a queen-sized mattress sitting on the floor with one pillow and no sheets. A shelf that wrapped around the room was covered with empty liquor bottles. Their Greek flag was thumb-tacked to the wall next to a shoddy television and an old PS3.

“Uhh…this is the cool place?”

“No, ew. I don’t even know whose room this is.” Steve answered, as he was popping open the only window. The veins in his forearms swelled with the force. Eddie quickly looked away.

The window made a sticking sound then finally slid open. No bug screen, just a portal to the cool night air.

“C’mon.” Steve called, climbing through. Eddie glanced back, got a great view of his ass, in jeans that were too tight to be legal. Fuck, he wanted those thighs around his head, he wanted—

To stop acting like a horny freak.

Eddie followed, careful not to spill his drink, and then scooted over to sit beside Steve. They looked down into the backyard, the entire swarm of the party mingling below. String lights crisscrossed over the trees and a bonfire blazed in the back corner. It smelled like smoke, like sharp winter wind, like a hint of Eucalyptus Spearmint.

The night sky was inky blue, with a tiny smattering of stars. Some wispy gray clouds passed over the half-moon. They were alone up here, perched on the gravel shingles, hands three inches apart. In any other situation it would’ve been really romantic.

Instead, Eddie felt dizzy.

Was it the height? Was it the drink he’d half-downed already from nerves? Was it the fact that, if he moved his hand just a fraction, his pinky would tangle with Steve’s?

“This is it.” Steve hummed. “Sometimes when they party gets to be too much I come up here and just watch. Not the same guy I was in high school, y’know? Can’t do this shit for like five hours anymore.”

“You’re tellin’ me.” Eddie agreed, busying himself with another sip. Their hands, their thighs, their knees, all so close.

His phone vibrated.

Where are you? Haven’t seen you since we got here From Nancy.

On the roof w Steve

The moment he hit “send” he regretted it, knowing exactly where her mind would go. He tried to look for her in the crowd below, but it was a sea of faces.

OMG??? She answered, adding the wide-eyed face and two flames.

not like that dumbass. Had a run in w Jason from hs and Steve bailed me out

Immediately, his phone started ringing, Nancy’s face popping up on the screen. It was truly an awful picture of her, enhanced by the bald Snap filter. She would’ve killed him if she knew it was her contact photo. Eddie locked it, effectively hanging up, and fired off another text.

Im fine, chill. promise. Will find you in a little

He shoved his phone back in his pocket and took another swig of the blue juice. If only it had been a two-flame-emoji kind of night.

“Who was that?” Steve asked, knocking their knees together. He rocked into it, then settled back, now even closer.

“Just Nancy.” Eddie answered, without looking over. He ran his thumb over the texture on the side of the cup. “Wondering where I was.”

“And they say I’m the mom.”

“Oh, you totally are. No questions asked.”

“Dick.”

Steve shoulder-checked him, and then just leaned into him. Eddie realized he might’ve been cold; he was just in a Henley. But Jesus, offering his jacket to Steve would’ve been the lethal blow. The point of no return.

“So, other than the attempted assault, did you have a good time?” Steve questioned. He turned his head to face Eddie, cast in the mellow orange glow of the fire and the soft shine of the string lights. Steve’s eyes were such a beautiful shade of brown. They weren’t mud or dirt, they were…were earth, rich and full of life.

“Uh, yeah,” Eddie gingerly avoided his gaze. “Did all the things I normally do at frat parties, y’know? Mingled, made some sales.”

“Good sales?”

“Yeah. Decent. Could buy us some Chipotle one night. Extra guac.”

“What a guy.” Steve chuckled. It was such a warm sound, it had to have been shielding him from the chill. Steve had to be radiating heat from the inside out.

God, was Eddie writing a fucking love letter, or what?

He looked into his cup, almost empty. He wondered what the ABV was. Like, when you mixed a bunch of liquors did the percentage just multiply? Was he going to stand up and start waxing poetic in the moonlight?

“Anything else happen?” Steve’s cup was almost gone too. Neither of them were drunk by any means, but Eddie felt the quiet buzz.

“I think Max dominated the pong table.”

This made Steve laugh, a sweet outburst he would’ve likened to angels fucking harmonizing. “That sounds about right.”

“Yeah.” Eddie sighed, finishing the beverage off. He was so in tune with all his nerve endings, despite the booze. They were all trained on Steve. This was a dangerous game. He was going to make a goddamn fool of himself, he could just feel it.

“So, that’s that. Checked all the frat night boxes. Sold some pot, listened to shitty music, drank rocket fuel, almost got my shit rocked—in the bad way, but still in some kind of way.”

“That’s that, huh?” Steve’s eyes sparkled, actually. “You can call it a night then.”

“Yeah, I did everything I always do…well, actually, no, forgot one thing, but…”

He trailed off, angry at himself for even uttering the words. Fucking impulsive ass Eddie Munson, blurting out every thought in his dumb brain.

“Oh, no, you gotta tell me now.” Steve’s grin was mischievous. “You’re always yelling about your ‘Munson doctrine,’ say the other thing you always do. You have to get on the table before you leave? Scream about capitalism?”

“No, no, shut up.” Eddie shook his head, face feeling hot. He tried to think on the fly here, come up with something else.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t focus with those literal glittery eyes on him.

“Nah, tell me, man!” Steve was laughing louder, music to his ears. He playfully pulled on one of Eddie’s curls, and he was a goner.

“Fine, quit.” Eddie swatted his hand away. “Every time I go to a frat party, I…”

He chewed the inside of his cheek, cringed, “I steal something from the hottest guy there. Take it home. Keep it.—Not for any sleezy reason, just for fun, I dunno.”

“Oh!” Steve’s eyes widened comically and his smile stretched, amused at the confession. He set his empty cup, upside-down so it wouldn’t blow over, on the rooftop and made a sweeping motion over the crowd below. “Okay, this is fun. Who’s tonight’s target, then, Eds? I can actually tell you who lives here, but I don’t know whose room is whose, so we might have to do some detective work.”

Eddie’s heart squeezed suddenly. He didn’t want Steve to help him pick the hottest guy at the party. He didn’t want Steve to imagine him looking at anyone else, hooking up with anyone else, being interested in anyone else. He’d wanted Steve to…be jealous? Or something?

“C’mon, man, you can tell me.” Steve egged him on. “I won’t make fun of you for whoever you pick. Honestly, most of the guys here are good looking, you can’t go wrong.”

Oh, fuck, oh fuck, Eddie was spiraling. The plastic in his hand crinkled. He didn’t want to imagine Steve looking at anyone else. He wanted Steve to look at him, he wanted him interested in himself, he was—was—

Eddie dared a glance over, overcome with a sudden wave of want for the guy next to him. Steve was smiling, oblivious to his inner turmoil, lustrous like a candle in the dark. He was Eddie’s best friend, bright and wonderful, sometimes bratty, but always well-intentioned. Fucking dry, funny, dumb, but in an endearing way. Fiercely loyal, deeply protective. He’d almost beaten someone up tonight, for Eddie.

He’d said, “wait with me.”

“Well…” Eddie’s breath caught in his sore throat. His ears rang hard. Liquid courage surged in his veins.

“I don’t know what to do here, Steve. All your stuff’s already back in our dorm.”

The cat was out of the bag.

Eddie thought Steve was hot.

But…silence.

Steve didn’t say a word.

Steve’s grin faltered, cracked. He blinked, blinked again.

And Eddie’s world came crashing down.

He fumbled to recover, started to grapple through his brain for the best way to say “sike!” It was a joke, it was seriously a joke, he was just fucking around, he had to spit it out, fast.

“Eddie, um,” Steve’s eyebrows furrowed, his pink lips pulled down, and he put a careful hand around Eddie’s bicep. It burned, unpleasant this time. He braced for the letdown, raking like a madman through his thoughts, struggling to throw on his usual bravado and shout, “just kidding!” into Steve’s face.

But he didn’t even get the fucking chance.

“There you guys are!” It was Dustin, peeking through the window. Lucas and Max appeared behind him, like floating heads.

“Mike’s about to do a kegstand.” Lucas called, voice giddy.

Max was all smiles too. “You guys gotta come watch, I bet he yarfs.”

Eddie’s heart hammered. He took the opportunity and ran with it. Easy exit. He quickly got to his feet, breaking free of Steve’s hold.

“Sounds great, I gotta see that, man.” He hurried over to the window. Steve followed, slower.

The kids chattered while Eddie wriggled back through the window. When Steve was close, he finally composed a sentence. He’d say it now, in passing, quiet, case closed, no awkward conversation needed.

“Hey, I was just fucking around, man.” Eddie forced a soft laugh. “Sorry to give you a goddamn panic attack.”

Steve shimmied in after him, and once they were both back in the grimy bedroom, he was visibly relieved. They stood among the others for a moment, while Lucas was in the middle of explaining why he had lost beer pong.

“Oh, yeah, no worries, man.” Steve smiled, bright as ever. “I know.”

“Cool.” Eddie forced himself to breathe, to ignore the knots squelching through his gut, the deep, sick, sadness that pitched inside him like a wave.

“If Mike doesn’t puke I think I’m gonna try too!” Dustin decided, as they all exited the room. “Suzie would be so impressed.”

Eddie fell to the back, watched Steve throw an arm over Dustin’s shoulders.

“Whatever you want, Henderson.” He told him, ruffling Dustin’s hair.

Eddie was drowning, weighed down in the bottom of a bog with rocks in his shoes. Here was reality again, a slap in the face, an elbow to the windpipe.

He was mad at himself, furious that he’d been so careless. He’d only had one drink, it hadn’t even influenced him much. That had just been a stupid excuse. Eddie was supposed to be preserving friendship, not confessing that he thought Steve was hot to his face.

He soured, looked down at his shoes. He should’ve just left when he had the chance.

Chapter Text

The night was short-lived, after that.

Mike performed his kegstand, hurled in the grass, and Nancy quickly decided it was time for everyone to go home.

Eddie and Jonathan helped haul Mike into an Uber. He was giggly, despite chucking up his guts. The rest of the kids thought it was fucking hilarious too; Mike would never live this down.

“He can crash on our couch.” Nancy said, buckling her brother in. “He’s gonna feel like shit tomorrow.—Anyone can. It’s late.”

Steve hung behind, standing in the open garage doorway. The partygoers were slowly filtering out, but the music continued to rumble. He lifted a hand in a half-wave.

“You guys go on ahead, I gotta clean some shit up.”

“Bet he’s gonna make a move on some chick in there.” Dustin snickered quietly. Then, directed at Steve, he yelled, “Make good choices!”

“Uh, yeah?” Steve replied. He was already turning his back. “You guys too!”

When he dipped back into the house, Eddie stared anxiously. He watched Steve’s retreating form the way a bystander watched a car accident. Horrible, but fascinating.

Spiders webbed through Eddie’s insides, between his ribs. They picked at the flies that buzzed in his chest.

He’d fucked up so bad.

Steve had smiled. He’d said, “No worries, man.” But then he’d avoided Eddie like the plague those last few minutes. He’d hung around Robin’s side, whispered with her under his breath, and refused to make eye contact.

So Eddie had fucking ruined it. He’d said the unspeakable thing, crossed the invisible line. It was all solidified for him now, that Steve was into guys, yeah, but he wasn’t into Eddie. His crumpled expression kept replaying in Eddie’s head like a sad movie.

They piled into two SUVs again, all heading to Robin and Nancy’s place. There was the couch, the beanbag, the air mattress, a shag carpet. They’d all fall asleep somewhere.

Eddie kicked off his shoes when they got inside. He’d almost considered going home, but he didn’t want to face their room alone. He didn’t want to risk another run-in with Steve tonight. It was too fucking uncomfortable.

He sank into the beanbag, head in his hands. His clothes reeked of weed and booze, and his ears were ringing. His fucking throat ached, dull but persistent. It hadn’t been noticeable in the cold, but he felt it now. Fuck Jason Carver.

Eddie touched his Adam’s apple, lightly, on the spot where Steve had. An otherwise-thrilling moment made him taste battery acid now.

“You okay, Eddie?” Will asked in passing. Everyone had beelined to the kitchen to rummage for a late-night snack. Argyle was laughing boisterously about something.

“Oh, uh, yeah. Just a headache. Thanks, man.”

“Nancy’s got medicine!” Mike piped up suddenly, sliding in beside Will. He crashed into his shoulder. “She just gave me some and told me to drink water.”

“Probably a good idea, Wheeler.”

“Let’s get on that.” Will gently patted Mike’s cheek and dragged him to the kitchen too. El met them in the archway with double hugs.

Eddie picked at his nails and stared at the carpet. He pulled out his phone and clicked to his texts, opening the latest string with Steve. Their last conversation had been about marathoning the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man trilogy, even though they’d seen it over a million times.

Im so sorry, Eddie typed. Then backspaced over it.

Can we talk?

thanks for inviting us! Btw I was seriously just kidding earlier lol

that was fun, see you tomorrow!

get home safe dude

Just wanted to make sure we’re good, like I was fr messing w you on the roof

Hey, we’re cool right?

Fuck. Fucking fuck. He deleted everything he typed, over and over. Words didn’t feel adequate. A text would’ve been a band-aid over a bullet wound. But like, the thought of an in-person conversation made his stomach churn too.

Eddie tossed his phone on the floor and stood, scrubbing his forehead with ringed fingers. He wanted to wash his hands. He wanted to gargle mouthwash, actually, because he couldn’t stop noticing the jungle juice flavor on his tongue. And if they didn’t have mouthwash, he was going to swallow toothpaste.

He stomped to the bathroom and cracked the door open.

Nancy was already in there, wearing an oversized t-shirt and a pair of flannel pajama pants. Her hair was pushed back in a headband and tiny suds covered her face.

“Jesus, that was fast. We just got back.” He blinked in surprise.

“That party was, like, exhausting.” She rinsed the cleanser from her skin. “Every time I wear a strapless bra I regret it. And I feel like I’m swimming in Jose Cuervo. Are you okay, though? The thing with Jason?” She patted her cheeks dry with a towel and looked at him earnestly.

Eddie squeezed past her to sit down on the closed toilet lid. He stole one of her hair ties from the counter and threw his curls into a loose, unruly bun.

“I’m actually, like, gonna throw up, Nance.” He admitted suddenly, heavy weight rushing down through his body like the comedown on a rollercoaster. He needed to talk about it.

“Wait, what?” She startled. “Why? What’s wrong?” Her eyes cut quickly to the mini trash can in the corner. It was close enough for Eddie to reach it, if he really needed to.

“Um…” Eddie let out a hard breath. “I’m not actually going to, I just…Everything is…fucked up? I made a really big mistake.”

“With Jason?” She raised an eyebrow, pensive. “What did you do, Eddie? Is he going to—”

“No, fuck Jason. No. He’s not going to like, rally the town pitchforks after me. He found me in the basement and like, choked me—”

“Oh my God?”

“It’s fine, seriously. Steve threatened him, and Jason turned tail and ran like the little bitch he is. This isn’t about Jason. Like, my neck hurts, but it’s done. This is worse.”

“Worse?” Nancy exhaled. “So…something happened with Steve?”

Eddie looked down at the tile flooring. It was royal blue and square, kind of dated, but kind of nice. He didn’t know what to say.

“Yeah, I…” He started to count them. One, two, three, four tiles. Made little patterns. He hated himself, in that moment.

“I told him I thought he was the hottest guy at the party, and, Nance, he like…deflated. I don’t have a better word.” He grabbed his hair at the temples. “I took my shot and missed, man. He is so not into me, and I think everything’s gonna be weird now, and I just feel awful. I shouldn’t have said anything. I should’ve just been like, happy that he’s in my life at all, as a friend. I’m stupid for thinking more could’ve happened. Just because he’s bi, doesn’t mean he likes me.”

“Eddie…” Her voice was soft. When he finally looked up, she was frowning. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry. What did he say?”

Eddie paused, chewed the inside of his cheek. “Nothing, because then Dustin and them barged in about the kegstand.—Which, I’m kind of glad for because Jesus Christ I think the conversation would’ve killed me. I would’ve fallen off the fucking roof.”

“Okay, wait, hold on.” Sympathetic Nancy quickly morphed into Resolute Nancy. She leaned back on her heels and folded her arms across her chest. “You’re giving me this little sob story when you didn’t even actually talk about it? Eddie, seriously?”

He gaped, taken by surprise. “Nance, what? You didn’t see him. He looked like I’d just run over his dog with my car. Don’t give me shit about this. I’m really upset right now!”

Nancy had the audacity to roll her eyes.
“Okay, but that’s going by an expression. Maybe he got scared for a second. You’re just guessing, Eddie. You have to talk to him about this.”

“The fuck I do! It’s over and done now, I told him I was joking. I want to just sweep it under the rug and forget about it. I’m just sad right now, and wanted some comfort, and I wanna know what to do to make things normal, but you’re, like, attacking me about all this?”

“I’m not attacking you, Eds. I’m trying to talk some sense into you.”

He groaned, threw his arms in the air, and then dropped his elbows onto his knees. Eddie cradled his face again, drooping like a dead flower.

Nancy held her tongue a minute, he could feel the tension. She was picking over her words carefully.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to upset you. I know it’s a tricky situation.” She conceded quietly. “I’m just saying that Steve is…he…cares so much about the people he loves that…sometimes he’s worried about saying the wrong thing, so he won’t say anything at all. Maybe that’s what happened.”

“Oh, no, he was totally gonna say something. Something bad.” Eddie glared at the tiles again. “He looked like I punched him in the guts.”

“Well—you still don’t know what it is that he was gonna say.”

“Jesus, Nancy.” Eddie grumbled. “You can’t just, like, let me wallow in self pity? I fucked up, can we face the facts?”

“No.”

“Oh my God.”

“Eddie, c’mon!” She shook his shoulders, trying to knock him out of his stupor. “In case you forgot, I dated Steve, for like a year and a half. Sometimes he gets in his own head, okay? Just because he didn’t, like, immediately throw himself in your lap when you said he was hot—that doesn’t mean he isn’t interested. He didn’t even get a chance to reciprocate. Will you just talk to him?”

“I literally cannot do that, Nancy. In case you forgot, I said he looked like his grandma died. It was not an ‘I’m thinking’ face, it was a panicked, ‘oh, fuck, oh, no, this is terrible,’ face.”

Nancy let out a deeply resigned sigh and stopped battering him. She retracted her hands to put away her toiletries in the medicine cabinet.

“Fine, whatever.” She grabbed the Advil bottle and set it lightly on the counter next to him. “I definitely won’t talk to him for you. Be miserable, if that’s what you want. And take this for your throat.”

“…Thanks.” Eddie breathed, grasping the bottle and dry-swallowing two pills.

Nancy opened her mouth to say something else, when there was a quiet tap on the cracked door.

“Hey,” Robin pushed in unobtrusively. She was wearing a purple sweater with a rainbow on it and a pair of plaid boxers. Her eyeshadow was smudged, but still sparkling under her brows.

“Everything okay?” She asked, looking between the two of them.

Eddie felt like he was naked at school, presenting in front of the whole class. Under a microscope.

Robin probably knew. Steve had whispered to her too much, in the backyard. He’d probably panicked that his roommate confessed he was a smokeshow and needed an out.

“Hey, Robs.” Eddie mumbled. “Yeah, I had a fun run-in with Jason Carver, Nancy’s patching me up.” He jingled the Advil bottle.

Robin chewed her lower lip. “She told me. So sorry, Eds. Wish that d-bag would leave you alone.”

“Me too.”

“Glad Steve swooped in though, it could’ve been bad.”

“For sure, he’s my hero.” Eddie faked a smile and put a dramatic hand over his heart.

Robin’s lips turned up. He tried to analyze her, see if her expression would tell some story, but it didn’t. Nothing he could read.

“Well, the kids are eating us out of house and home, so if you guys want some food you might wanna move quick.”

“Good call. Thanks, babe.” Nancy shared a soft kiss with Robin on her way out of the bathroom. Seemed like she was done with Eddie’s bullshit for the night.

Eddie was done with his own bullshit, for fuck’s sake.

He lumbered behind them. Things were finally quieting down. Max and Lucas snoozed side-by-side on the floor while Dustin inflated the air mattress. Argyle, Jonathan, Will, and El continued to munch on chips and salsa in the kitchen. Mike was asleep at the dining table.

Eddie shared a bag of popcorn with Nancy and stole a few spoonfuls of peanut butter straight from the jar while Robin reheated old Chinese food. They all talked about the week’s upcoming midterms, the promise of Thanksgiving break right after. Everyone was going back to Hawkins, except Argyle, who was flying out to see his grandparents in California.

When Eddie looked at the clock, it was almost three-thirty in the morning.

“All right, friends, I have to hit the hay.” Robin announced, rinsing her plate in the sink. “Make yourselves at home but let me get my beauty rest.”

“I’m coming to bed, too.” Nancy rubbed her eyes.

“Um,” Robin lightly brushed her cheek, “Nance, you’re supposed to say I don’t need beauty rest because I’m already beautiful.”

Nancy spurted out a laugh. “My bad, yes, dear.”

The two of them called “good night” and trailed to their bedroom, pulling the door shut behind them.

Eddie decided to retire to the beanbag. The room was dim now. Argyle, Jonathan, and El squeezed onto the couch, and Will flopped onto the air mattress with Dustin. Nobody moved Mike.

Eddie curled into a ball, cushioning his head on his forearms. He scooped his phone off the floor.

And had a message from Steve. From a few minutes prior.

His stomach dropped. Eddie was on the Tower of Terror, waiting in that tantalizing moment before it plummeted down. He stared at the notification, afraid. His screen was too bright in the dark room, blowing out his pupils.

Was it going to rip him apart? Was Steve going to tell him to fuck off? Was he going to…say something good? Maybe? Jesus.

Fuck.

Eddie opened his phone, chanced looking. There was no fucking way he could wait until tomorrow.

You ok? just got home and youre not here. Worried Jason tried some shit or something??? Lmk pls

Eddie’s lungs unfolded, he sucked in a shaky breath. It wasn’t…like, good, but it wasn’t bad. It was the normal concern of a friend. Completely plausible, after how the night had gone. His heart ached.

Eddie felt kind of guilty, that Steve had gone home to an empty dorm. Guilty that Eddie hadn’t said where he was going. It made sense that Steve was worried…And maybe if Eddie had been there, they could’ve…actually talked, like Nancy suggested?

But any time he contemplated the conversation, the reverb of Steve’s awful expression boomed in Eddie’s brain. That was not the look of someone who wanted to talk about a one-sided attraction.

Eddie sucked his teeth and typed a quick reply.

Sorry, we all came to nancy and robin’s. all good! About to sleep. night!

He watched with horror as the message bubble populated, then disappeared. Not once, not twice, but three times. Steve was typing, reworking his texts, and typing again. Just like Eddie had been. Christ, it was a nightmare. He was tiptoeing around the awkward sludge too.

Finally: Cool, glad youre ok. Good night!

Eddie locked his phone and set it on the rug. He stared at the ceiling fan, swinging in the shadows, hoping he could miraculously hypnotize all of this away.

***

There was this phrase, “phone tag.” It was basically the act of calling someone, having to leave a voicemail, missing their call back, getting a voicemail, returning the voicemail, with another voicemail, in an endless loop. Neither person could ever get a hold of the other.

And that’s what Eddie and Steve were doing. But in person.

Eddie didn’t think it was intentional, per se. Their schedules just really didn’t line up this week. They had midterms and stuff, projects, presentations. They weren’t ignoring each other, they just didn’t see each other.

At least, that’s what he told himself.

They still communicated through text, through a pitcher of iced coffee left in the fridge, through a “good luck!” post-it note stuck to a stack of textbooks. Small roommate-centric gestures.

A few days apart was probably what they needed.

So when Eddie wrapped up his last exam on Tuesday, he threw his shit in a duffel bag and got the hell out of dodge.

Never in a million years had he been excited to go back to Hawkins. The only good thing there was his Uncle Wayne. But he felt like he was prepping for vacation at a five-star resort.

Done with all my stuff so heading home for break. see you on the other side. Good luck w the show pony thing this week, he texted Steve, adding the little horse head emoji. Hopefully Steve would laugh?

ugh, my last midterm is tomorrow. and thanks lol have a good thanksgiving

That was that, over and out. Maybe a week without being glued to Steve would clear his mind of this. Maybe he could shake off his funk and return to campus fresh. He could snuff this out. Bury the crush down deep inside until it…crushed itself, or something more eloquent.

Yeah.

Definitely.

He pulled Wayne’s old truck into the trailer park, breathing a sigh of relief at the dingy street sign. This place wasn’t much, but it was always there. Absolute.

“I swear you grow another inch every time I see you, kid.” Wayne shook his head, pulling Eddie into a gruff, firm hug.

“Maybe you’re shrinking, old man.” He patted his back.

“Ha ha, very funny.”

A swell of nostalgia hit Eddie when he followed Wayne inside.

Funny, how in college, you had two places to call home. Halfway between. A dorm with his friends, and a house with the only relative he’d ever known. Wayne’s place had a kitchen sink with a handle, and the dorm had a sink with a knob. Any time he returned to one place or the other, it threw him off. He always fumbled with the tap.

“It looks…suspiciously nice in here?” Eddie narrowed his eyes and peered around. Everything was neat and tidy. New, floral dish towels were folded on the counter. A petite, pink, zip-up jacket hung over the back of the armchair.

“Oh, well, y’know,” Wayne waved a hand and took Eddie’s bag, setting it on the table for him. “Michelle’s always haggling me to keep things nice.”

“Ohhh, is she now?!” Eddie teased, grinning. Happiness bubbled through him. Wayne deserved that. “She’s over a lot then, huh? Getting pretty serious?”

Wayne and Michelle had met about a year and a half ago. She’d started waitressing at a diner he frequented, and he’d asked her on a date—first one in probably ten years. The rest was history.

Eddie flopped onto the couch, sank into the memorable fabric. It smelled faintly of cigarettes and pepper, pleasant on Eddie’s nose. Two new throw pillows adorned each end, embroidered with white roses.

“Yeah, yeah, pretty serious. She keeps me around, for some reason.” Wayne started a pot of coffee. “Want somethin’ to drink?”

“Don’t evade the subject.” Eddie winked.

“We can discuss my love life later, Ed. How’s school?”

Eddie dove into a summary of his classes and assignments. Wayne was always genuinely interested in what he had to say, asked a lot of questions. He’d been the primary driver in getting Eddie to enroll in the first place.

“You’ve got a big brain and a big heart, Ed. Go use ‘em both.” He’d said, four years ago.

They spoke late into the night, catching up and eating frozen chicken pot pies over SNL reruns. Eddie didn’t even pick up his phone.

“How’s the Mayfield girl?” Wayne asked, popping open two beers for them. “You still hang with her much?”

“Oh, yeah, all the time. She’s good. Majoring in physical therapy or something. She wants to work with, like, people who do BMX, or skateboarding, or roller and ice skating. Stuff with wheels, or, blades, I guess.”

“Hm.” Wayne nodded. “Sounds intense.”

“Yeah, I mean, she’s an intense chick.”

“And Steve’s doing good?”

Eddie coughed into the neck of his beer bottle. Eddie talked about his roommate all the time, of course it would come up.

“Yeah. Great.—Dustin too.” He quickly changed gears. “Everybody’s good. I’m actually gonna hook up with Chrissy while she’s in town!”

Wayne blinked at him. “You’re hooking up with girls now?”

When Wayne started to smile, clearly joking, Eddie threw his balled-up napkin at him.

“Okay, so bad wording.” Eddie laughed, “I’m going to hang out with Chrissy while she’s in town. I’m still—what did you used to say? ‘Queer as a three dollar bill’?”

“I mean that with utmost love, kid. Wouldn’t have you any other way.”

Eddie’s heart sang. “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

They clinked their beer bottles together and capped off the night with Blue Bell ice cream, just like old times.

***

Eddie caught up with Chrissy on Wednesday, meeting her for an early lunch at Benny’s Burgers instead of the Hideaway. When he’d told her about the scuffle with Jason, she insisted that they avoid any bars in Hawkins. If Jason was to come home for Thanksgiving, that’s probably where he’d end up with his good old boys from high school.

She was cheerful and peppy as ever, glowing in her own success. Eddie was proud.

“It’s still so weird, when we come back here.” She mentioned, swabbing her sweet potato fry in a glob of ketchup. “It’s like, we grew up here but I’ve…outgrown it. If dad wasn’t here I’d have no interest in coming back, y’know?”

Eddie picked the tomato off his chicken sandwich. “Yeah. I dunno. Still no clue what I’m gonna fucking do, and graduation’s in a couple months. I haven’t even done, like, a single interview. I don’t even know what to look for to apply for an interview. Like, what job am I gonna have? What ‘career path’? Fuck if I know.” He scoffed.

“I thought you wanted to do music lessons? Like, a music teacher? And do your own stuff on the side?”

Eddie shrugged. He took an enormous bite and chewed in silence. The dilemma with Steve was the most pressing thing in his mind right now, but the other looming, gnawing dread was The Future. Capitalized in its importance.

“I guess. It’s all just intimidating. I don’t even know where to start, Chris.”

“Well, there’s always room in Boston.” She beamed. Chrissy reached across the booth and poked him in the chest. “The dates wouldn’t line up exactly, like, you graduate in May and my lease is up in September, but if you wanted to get a two-bedroom you know I wouldn’t say ‘no.’”

“Just lining me up for that being married to each other at thirty thing, huh? I know you can’t resist this.” Eddie waggled his eyebrows seductively. “Admit it, you’re into me.”

Chrissy broke into a fit of giggles, face red as a strawberry. “Gross, no. I’m just saying, it’s a pretty cool place to live, somewhere new and exciting. And you’d have a friend! You’d have to figure out those first few months, or I guess you could sleep on my couch, but it’s an idea. I’d love that! There are plenty of schools in Boston.”

Eddie contemplated, wondering what it would be like to just up and move with no real direction to it. Say ‘goodbye’ to the only place he’d ever known. Chrissy had been so brave to.

But then, what about Wayne? What about the kids, all his other friends who still had some time left in college? They were just as much his family as his uncle was.

What about Steve?

Eddie didn’t know, about Steve. Everything was messed up right now anyway. Maybe Steve already had a job lined up and he hadn’t even said anything. He didn’t, like, have to tell Eddie everything.

They were just friends. Just roommates.

Steve had always said he wanted to ditch Indiana, get as far away from his toxic family as possible, maybe move somewhere near the ocean. Eddie wouldn’t have been surprised if Steve already signed on some fancy apartment in California.

But what was Eddie going to do?

The walls were closing in, the hourglass was running out of sand. Indiana, Boston, or bust. He needed to figure something out. Six months was shrinking into five.

“…I dunno, Chris. Thanks for offering though. I’ll think about it, okay?”

Sensing the dip in his mood, Chrissy gave him a soft smile. “Okay.”

***

Thanksgiving at the Munson residence was without fanfare. The mashed potatoes had to be homemade, and the they had to have a turkey, but those were the only requirements. Eddie microwaved a can of green beans, Wayne microwaved a can of corn, and they threw in some buttered rolls for good measure. The store-bought apple pie waited on the countertop, next to the Reddi-Wip.

They used the two “nice plates” and washed it all down with beer.

“You know, next year I think I’ll be man enough to carve the turkey, don’t you?” Eddie joked, picking his teeth. “Will you let me use the big knife?”

“Maybe.” Wayne chuckled. “Maybe so.”

“Every little boy’s dream is to use the big knife.”

“I’ll let you clean it, and do all the dishes, how’s that?”

“Hmm.” Eddie folded his hands over his stomach, leaned back in his chair to stretch. Dishes could wait. “How come Michelle didn’t come? I know I’ve only met her a few times, for short periods, but I definitely would’ve been on my best behavior.” He saluted sarcastically.

“She’s in South Carolina with her daughter this week. Her only kid. She just had a baby, actually, Michelle’s first grandkid, so they’re spending some time together.”

“Oh.” Eddie blinked, suddenly surprised at the idea that Wayne was sort of like a…step…grandpa, or something? Like, if they got married? Eddie would have a whole step-sister? Sort of. Wayne was his uncle, so…step-cousin? Weird.

“That’s great! Really cool.” He told Wayne, and meant it, earnestly.

They sat in comfortable silence, digesting. Then Eddie popped up with another question.

“You wanna marry her?”

“Really puttin’ me on the spot, huh?” He laughed, shook his head. “Yeah, guess I would. I’m kinda old for it, but, sure.”

“You’re not even that old, pops. You’re middle-aged at best.” Eddie cleared away the plates with a grin and started to pile things into the sink. He pulled out paper plates for the pie, it was easier. He cut two huge slices, covered them in whipped cream, and handed one to Wayne.

“I actually…wanna talk to you about something, kid.” Wayne said as Eddie sat back down.

“Asking me to be the Best Man?” Eddie teased. When Wayne didn’t smile, Eddie slowly lowered his fork. It hit the table with a tiny clink. “Oh, this is like a serious thing? Okay…Yeah, sure.”

“Well, it is about Michelle. See, she’s…” Wayne looked down at his pie, wouldn’t meet Eddie’s eyes. Nerves tingled along his spine. She was sick? She was a billion dollars in debt and Wayne had given her his every penny? She was a murderer?

“I don’t really know how to say it, so just gonna. She’s moving down there, to South Carolina, to be with her daughter and the baby. She asked me to go with her, son.”

Eddie paused. Stilled.

“Oh. Yeah?”

“But it’s not ‘til the new year. So it wouldn’t be ‘til after Christmas and everything, you could still come home and all that.—I mean you could come there, too, obviously. Any time…I just wanted to…tell you. I know it’s…a big change, but, I wanna go with her. I think I’d regret it if I don’t. And I know when college is done you’ll have your own plans. I think now’s the time to do something like this, for me.”

Eddie teemed with big feelings: surprise, overwhelm, sadness, contrasting joy for his uncle.

“Wayne, that’s…I really am happy for you. You’re right, it’s a huge change—”

“I’ve only ever lived in Indiana, you’re tellin’ me.”

“But it…it’ll be good for you! Michelle is good for you.”

Wayne finally looked up, eyes glistening the slightest bit, but he’d never let them do more than that. He put a rough palm over Eddie’s.

“Thanks, Ed. She is…And…the trailer. I can leave it, for you, if you want. Might be a good way to start on your own, no rent or anything. Somewhere you’re accustomed to.—You don’t have to decide right now, but. It’s an option.”

Right. Boston, Indiana, or bust. Another fork in the road, another decision to make. The imminent approach.

“Oh, that’s, damn, that’s really cool of you. You don’t have to do that, Uncle Wayne.”

“And you don’t either, you won’t hurt my feelings if you say ‘no.’ I know it’s not a mansion—”

“No, I just…” Eddie trailed off. He swallowed.

He looked at his uncle, suddenly feeling nauseous.

“I don’t know what to do. About anything.”

Suddenly, to Eddie’s embarrassment, heat pricked in the corners of his eyes. He was five years old, he’d scraped his knee on the sidewalk.

“Oh, shit, Ed, I didn’t mean to—”

“I promise it’s not you.” Eddie quickly rubbed his eyes. He let out a watery sigh. “I am happy for you, truly. Go be with your lovely lady, please. You deserve that. I’m just, like, at a major crossroads and—”

He was word-vomiting then, flooding out sentences through a broken dam.

“I don’t know what to do. Or where to go. Everything I’ve known for four years is just over in a few months and I’m not ready to grow up and all that shit, to work nine to five for the next forty years. Like, Chrissy asked me if I wanna move to Boston, but what’s in Boston for me? But also, what’s in Indiana if you’re gone and if—if Steve—”

He hiccupped, startling himself with the name. It had slipped out, totally Freudian, the object of his fucking desires. He wiped his eyes until he saw blue spots.

“Fuck, I really shouldn’t be making this about me.” Eddie shook himself, sat up to look Wayne in the eye. “I mean it, Uncle Wayne, I am really happy for you. Sorry to blow up, like, please know I’m happy for you. And I appreciate you offering the place to me. I just—don’t know right now.”

His uncle stared at him, eyebrows drawn down, burning a hole into his soul with a measured look.

“…You know, Eddie, making this decision was real scary for me. But, I love her…And sometimes when you love someone, you end up doing scary things. Hell, asking her on a date was terrifying. But if I’d never done it, I’d never have known how good I could have it. You know? As you’re…making all these life decisions just, remember that. Taking a chance can be a good thing. If you don’t ever try something, you’ll never know how good it could be. Failure is better than regret.”

“Is it?” Eddie laughed, semi-hysterically. No point hiding it, Wayne clearly got the gist. “Because if I say the scary thing, and I fail, and I—I lose him…that sucks pretty fucking bad.”

“…Or, he could say it back.”

Eddie sighed, the weight of it felt down to the bone. “I really don’t think he will.”

Wayne rose from his chair, stepping around the table to pull Eddie into a hug. He clutched onto his shirt like a child who got lost in the grocery store, recently found.

“Well…” Wayne mumbled into his hair. “Whatever you decide, son, you deserve happiness too.”

They calmed after that, separating after a long minute of hugging. Eddie felt so small, eating pie and sitting at the dining room table. He wished he could go back then, to the simplicity of childhood. Becoming an adult was a fucking trap.

Wayne could probably feel his melancholy, because after dinner he put on The Fellowship of the Ring. Eddie’s classic feel-good movie. Orlando Blood did brighten his spirits a little.

Wayne started to snore about an hour in, he’d never actually made it through the whole film. Eddie washed up, wiped down the table, put away the leftovers. He flipped off the lights and laid a blanket softly over Wayne, then retired to his old bedroom.

Once changed into joggers and an old sweater, he wrapped himself in a quilt and climbed into bed to resume the movie on his laptop. The Party’s group chat was popping off at the same time—everyone sending long texts about being thankful for each other. El kept spamming the turkey emoji. Erica had swiped Lucas’ phone and texted seven unflattering pictures of him.

Eddie laughed to himself and was typing a witty response when his screen went black—lit up again—with Steve’s name. His phone buzzed rhythmically, it was ringing.

Eddie’s stomach bottomed out.

Steve was calling? Calling him? Thanksgiving night, at ten PM? They hadn’t said an actual fucking word to each other in five days and now he was calling him?

Eddie’s hands trembled. He gawked at Steve’s name, at the dancing lady emoji next to it, the golden retriever, the green heart he’d thrown in way back when as a joke.

And his phone kept zinging. If he didn’t answer soon it was going to go to voicemail, and what would Steve think about that? Eddie didn’t wanna blow him off, what if something was wrong? But he didn’t wanna answer, but, any second it would stop.

Fucking fuck.

Eddie slid his finger across the screen, picking up. He collected himself to answer, “Hello?”

“Hey, Eds.” Steve responded, making Eddie’s heart jump. The familiarity of it was so strong that he actually ached.

“Hey.” Eddie said stupidly. He’d already said “hello.” Idiot.

“Happy Thanksgiving, man.” Steve said simply. It was warm, like his sweater. Eddie held the phone in one hand and clutched his temple with the other. He clenched his eyes shut, wrenched them open. Normal. Steve was trying to be normal, so Eddie would too. No talk of the roof.

“Yeah, you too, Stevie. Have a good day?”

“It was…eh.” Steve chuckled. Eddie heard a rustling sound, like Steve was shifting. Was he fucking…lying in bed, too? This was a cheesy nineties teen rom-com waiting to happen, or Eddie was delusional.

Definitely delusional.

“The Harrington soap opera survives another episode.” Steve explained. “Just a whole day of like, putting on a show. Really exhausting. But I’m apparently doing really well with my investments and I have a great job in the works for after graduation.”

“Do you?” Eddie couldn’t stop himself from asking.

“Jesus, no. Not a fucking clue.”

Eddie would be lying if he said that didn’t give him some kind of relief. Steve was lost too and he wasn’t…going anywhere yet.

He forced a little laugh and struggled to make conversation, so afraid to say the wrong thing.

“How are the house renovations?” Boring, but safe.

Steve snickered. “Everything is so…white, plain, and dull. I hate it, man. Makes me miss the dorm, hanging out in our room. We have color everywhere, and, like, mess. It’s lived in, it’s nice.”

“Our room. We have color everywhere...” If Eddie closed his eyes, Steve was describing their house together, their place, and it was some far-off dream. Steve was on a business trip, sure, he’d be coming home tomorrow, and they’d crawl into bed, under the same sheets, under the same roof.

Eddie opened his eyes. He was hollow, stinging with want for a fabricated reality.

“I come here and I just…don’t feel like myself. It’s stupid, but I feel like I slip back into who I used to be, in high school. I just wanna shake it off. I miss being at school and being with you, and with our friends.”

“Yeah, man.” Eddie choked out. Had Steve been drinking? He sounded wistful and far away. He sounded sad. Sometimes he got a little weepy when he drank a lot. That had to be it.

“Well, I’m not far away.” Eddie blurted, then bit his tongue. He was yearning too much, swept up in reckless want.

Quiet.

Jesus, he really put his foot in his mouth.

“But I know the trailer park is a little, uh, humble. It feels eons away from Loch Nora.” He tagged on quickly, voice light.

“No, man, sorry, I just have a lot going on this week with family in town. Wasn’t trying to, like, ignore you. Was just thinking of all these fucking commitments and dinner parties. So much crap. Did you get to see Chrissy?”

Eddie put the phone on speaker and set it on his chest, trying to slow his breathing.

“Yeah, she’s great. She…asked if I wanted to come to Boston to live with her. End of May.”

“Oh, shit.” Steve sounded genuinely shocked. “Really? Are you going to?”

If he didn’t look down, Eddie could pretend the weight on his chest was Steve’s head. The teensy rumble of the speaker could’ve been his voice, real, in person. They were cuddled up on their queen-sized mattress, catching up after a few days apart. Their legs were tangled together. Steve was holding him. He was holding Steve.

“Don’t go to Boston.” He’d whisper to Eddie. “Please, stay with me.”

Eddie swallowed. He put a hand on his stomach, pretended it wasn’t his own.

“I dunno yet. Told her I’d think about it.”

“It’s a big decision.” Steve mumbled, into his pecs. “So much shit is changing soon. It sucks.”

“Wayne’s leaving too.” Eddie let his eyes slip shut again. His breathing fell into rhythm. If he tried really hard, he could smell Eucalyptus Spearmint, right under his nose.

“Wait, what?” Steve sounded distressed. “What do you mean?”

“He’s moving to South Carolina. With Michelle, his girlfriend. In January.”

“Fuck, man.”

“I know…And he offered me the trailer here, so. A lot of shit to consider. It’s rent-free, I guess.”

“…God, Eds. Well, I’m here if you wanna talk it out, or whatever.” Steve assured him.

Eddie stroked him abdomen, imagining it was Steve’s comforting touch, soothing him. He was so fucking gone, hopeless. So much for time apart. All that did was let Eddie daydream. This single phone call only amplified things inside him.

“Thanks, Steve. I’m…” He would’ve kissed him on the head then, nestling into fluffy brown hair. “I’m thankful for you, dude.”

He wanted to add on so many more things. He wanted to give a laundry-list of reasons why he was thankful for Steve, why he was in love with him, tell him that maybe he wanted to go with him to California and shack up in some rickety beach house on the shore. He wanted to squeeze him, slide him up into his lap, hold his hips, kiss him, really kiss him, taste his tongue, touch every square inch of his body. He wanted Steve to ride him in the middle of the night, windows blown open, moans masked by the sound of crashing waves outside. He wanted to make love every fucking night, brew him coffee in the morning, pack his stupid lunch, watch shitty TV—he’d even watch sports, he just wanted to have him, always, be with him—

“I’m thankful for you too, Eddie. You’re seriously important to me. Sorry to call you out of the blue like this, I just wanted to say hey. Missed you, y’know? We were so busy with midterms.”

It gutted Eddie, carved him open like he was on the mortician’s fucking table. The mixed signals of it all swirled and swelled and crashed inside him. His brain said one thing but his heart said another. Eddie wanted to be logical but Steve missed him, Steve called just because he missed him, and he was laying on his chest and Eddie had a fucking hard-on and his voice was music through the phone and Steve missed him.

“Missed you too. Last week was stressful for sure. But I’ll be home Sunday. Like, back at the dorm.” Eddie refused to open his eyes. Let himself float in the forgery.

“Cool, me too. We can order some Thai food or something. Have, like, Fakesgiving.”

Jesus, the cherry on top. Fakesgiving was exactly what Eddie was having, right now, by himself, in an illusion of their life.

“Sounds great, man.”

“Well, I can let you go.” Steve audibly shifted again. He was definitely laying down, had to be. Eddie’s neck heated. “I know it’s getting kinda late. Mom wants me to wake up at six to go Black Friday shopping and ‘pick out what I want for Christmas this year.’ I’ll let you know what I find. Maybe I can get us a soundbar.”

“Hah, yeah. That would be sweet. Have fun, dude. Thanks for the call.”

“Yeah, sure. Night, Eds.”

The fire crept up to Eddie’s cheeks. “Good night, Steve.”

He heard Steve hang up, the little click of the line. But he didn’t open his eyes. Eddie laid there, motionless, thinking, and wishing, and dreaming. He breathed harshly out of his nose, decision made, and stuck a hand down his pants.

Eddie touched himself, unabashedly, imagining Steve and their shammed domestic life. He went right back to the queen-sized bed, the ocean surf, the way Steve would shiver in the moonlight under his fingertips. They’d surge, and sweat, and pant into each other’s mouths. Eddie would fuck up into him, hot and fast, between gasps of sweet nothings, and they’d come together and see stars. See fireworks. See fucking pyrotechnics, whatever cheesy euphemism worked.

It was so good, so real, it had Eddie finishing in his pants like a fucking virgin.

He shuddered on the decline and sluggishly returned to actual existence. He was uncomfortable now, physically, and fucking emotionally, too. This shit wasn’t good for him.

Loving Steve Harrington was probably a far-off fantasy.

Eddie cleaned up, yanking on a fresh pair of sweats from his duffel bag. He settled back into bed, too anxious to sleep. He hooked his phone on the charger and booted on Lord of the Rings.

Eddie was shaken, to tell the truth. Steve’s call had been…completely unexpected. Steve had missed him. Called him on a holiday late at night just to chat. Which, sure, friends could do that…Friends did do that, regularly.

But Eddie’s mind kept jogging on the word “probably.” He hadn’t thought, “Loving Steve Harrington was a far-off fantasy.” Period. End of story.

Now, stupidly, Eddie had thought, “probably.”

And that meant that maybe there was still hope.

Chapter Text

The rest of the weekend zoomed by. Wayne had all week off work, so he and Eddie spent Friday and Saturday eating leftover turkey and watching bad movies. They fiddled with the truck (Eddie missed the van, but it wasn’t as convenient on a college campus), strummed some guitar, and then Wayne showed him pictures of the house they were considering in South Carolina.

Quaint, stout, and powder blue, it looked like the perfect place for him and Michelle to start fresh.

“Hell,” Wayne had said, half-smiling, “It’s got a fenced in back yard. Maybe we’ll even get a dog.”

Comical, to picture Wayne with whatever fluffy, frou-frou dog he imagined Michelle to adopt. Heart-warming, actually.

Eddie ran into Max and her mom Friday afternoon, on their way in from shopping. Their relationship had improved in the last year or so; it was nice to see the two of them carefree. Max showed Eddie the DnD book she’d bought for Lucas, and a new addition of Cards Against Humanity to split with the friend group. He commended her on good the choices.

On Sunday, Wayne whipped up bacon, omelets, and a canister of Pillsbury Grands. They sipped steaming cups of coffee and chatted about Christmas plans. Eddie’s semester was over a few days before the holiday, so he’d be back home in just a couple weeks.

Wayne was surprisingly a little misty-eyed when he sent Eddie on his way. Maybe it was the move. One of the last few times Eddie would be “home” with him. Unless he decided to keep the place, but, Eddie hadn’t even peeked at that that can of worms since Thursday.—Even if he did, Wayne wouldn’t be living there.

A stone of permanence weathering away. This was how riverbeds formed, or whatever.

Growing up was weird. Change was fucking weird.

Eddie squeezed his Uncle Wayne in a tight hug, reiterated how happy he was for him, and headed back to school.

The parking garage was a fucking madhouse, cars screeching around corners and light snow drifting in through the breezeways. Everyone in a rush to reset before another week of class. Icy slush covered the concrete, stamped through with footprints. Eddie slung his duffel over one shoulder.

He spotted Steve’s red BMW, already neatly nestled in an interior space on the third floor. He always scored with good parking spots.

Eddie’s stomach suddenly flipped at the thought of seeing Steve. In real life. Unlocking their dorm door and looking him in his gorgeous face and remembering that he’d call him hot to that very face. And that he’d also jacked off to that face, that body, after a simple Happy Thanksgiving phone call like some kind of creep wrapped in a naughty dream.

But.

“You’re seriously important to me.”

God fucking dammit, this was going to be hell.

Eddie had ping ponged over this for three days. Steve loved him, he loved him not; he was picking petals off a daisy and crossing his fingers for a good outcome. It was wishful thinking, airheaded delusion.

It made his chest tight.

Eddie was being stupid. Just caught up in fantasy like a sea turtle in a shitty plastic fishing net. One of the illegal ones, it didn’t have the flap for the bigger creatures to fit through, and Eddie was swimming with the goddamn fishes now. Drowning in his own head, twisted in twine.

He sighed when he stomped into the building, kicking muck off his shoes on the lobby mat. A couple students crowded in the common area with apple pie. They glanced over at his harumph, and quickly looked away. He pictured anxiety oozing off him like a black cloud.

Eddie trudged up the stairs to the second floor, taking his time. Maybe Steve wasn’t home? Maybe he could keep pushing off this uncomfortable reunion?

His keys rattled in the lock, clanging loudly against metal and wood. Eddie pushed open the door.

And there was Steve, inevitably.

He stood in the compact living room wearing a gray frat hoodie and joggers. Looking cozy. Black socks on his feet. His laundry hamper balanced on the couch and little piles of clothes surrounded him, folded into towers. Jurassic Park played quietly on TV.

It was so agonizingly fucking domestic that Eddie catapulted back to their seaside shack. Eddie just got home from work, Steve had soup, or something, simmering on the stove.

“Hey, Eds.” He smiled softly, looking up when Eddie walked in. Caramel irises melted against obsidian. “Welcome home.”

Eddie was back on the roof, before it all went to shit, before he’d said the dumb thing. Steve’s eyes were sparkly like the stars, and they were enveloped in firelight, pinkies close together, and he was so ridiculously, painfully in love.

Eddie yanked the daisy out by the roots. He’d harvest the whole field if he had to.

“Hey, Stevie.” Eddie forced his voice to be level. He was not going to be weird about this…at least not outwardly. “Good drive home?”

Eddie crossed the room to his bedroom door, patting Steve’s shoulder amiably as he did. His hoodie was soft to the touch. Eddie tossed his bag onto the bed and toed out of his shoes, then turned back to face Steve. He leaned against the doorframe, crossed his arms over his chest. Casual.

“Yeah, not bad. Been back a couple hours. Just catching up on chores and stuff.”

Eddie eyeballed the clothes. It was at least two loads of laundry.

“Your mom still buying the OxiClean detergent that makes your skin itch?”

Steve blinked at him, mouth twisting. He paused; half-way done folding a t-shirt.

“She,” Steve let out a small laugh, surprised. “Yeah, she does. I had to rewash everything that the housekeeper took out of my hamper.—You remember that? That was like freshman year when I told you about that.—Also, I am not trying to sound ungrateful to the housekeeper, like, she rules, she didn’t know.”

Eddie’s felt his face warm. He hadn’t mean to sound weirdly obsessive over Steve’s skin. Is that how it had come across?
“I just, I dunno.” Eddie shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “Remembered. So, I’d never buy it. Didn’t want you to be uncomfortable. That’s why we always have Gain.—Plus it just smells better.”

“Damn, always looking out for me, huh?” There were his fucking eyes, shining again like miniature suns. “And you’re right, it does smell better. Thanks, man.” Steve chuckled. He pleated his shirts into a tiny pile.

“Just being a good roommate, nothing to it.” Eddie nodded once.

Steve balled up pairs of socks and plopped them together. “Fuck, not for long when you move to Boston next year, Eds. Jesus. Chrissy’ll probably be a lot cleaner than me, though.”

“Hold up, hold up,” Eddie stepped out of the threshold, waving his hands. “I didn’t say that was for sure yet. It’s a lot to consider. And there’s maybe Wayne’s place too. I haven’t made a decision on anything.—Plus, no, you’re surprisingly neat for a frat boy.”

Steve’s grin was wry. He lobbed a pair of socks at Eddie’s head, which Eddie caught midair. He tossed them back, sinking them into a crevice next to the basket instead of inside it.

“Whatever, well, it’s on the table. Sucks either way. Real life, flying at us two hundred miles per hour. Maybe I’ll pick up a minor instead, do a fifth year. Fuck it, a sixth year.”

“Hah, yeah.” Eddie agreed, pulling out one of the dining chairs to sit down. He propped up his feet on the other one. “Maybe I’ll change my major. Biology now? I don’t think I have any prerequisites for that, so I’ll probably have to totally start over. That’s fine.”

Steve smirked. “Yeah, Mom and Dad will love if I change my major a third time. I’m down.” He finished the last of his clothes and the conversation lulled. Steve’s tone was still playful but duller, when he said, “Sometimes I wanna just stay here forever.”

Eddie dared to stare at him, to read him in the open space that hung after the sentence. Steve’s shoulders slumped slightly. He toyed with the hem on a pair of sweatpants. He was searching for something that wasn’t there, through a looking glass. Alice in Wonderland.

“…Steve?” Eddie ventured.

Like a rubber band, he snapped back. He licked his teeth and perked up. “Because, where the hell will we order Thai food from when we graduate? Basil Bistro is only here, Eddie.”

Eddie didn’t comment on the lapse. Both of them were swirling down the drain into unknown. It had to be weighing heavily on Steve, too. Eddie wanted them to cling to the same lifeboat, though.

Maybe they’d end up on the beach. All pipes led to the ocean.

“Yeah, I’m hungry. Let’s order something.”

Steve picked up his phone from the armchair to punch in their order on UberEats.

“Chicken pad Thai and two vegetable eggrolls?” He prompted, not even looking up. He was clearly already adding it to the cart, without waiting for confirmation.

“Yeah,” Eddie replied, “My basic bitch order.”

“Done. Forty-five minutes to an hour.”

Eddie slipped his own cell out of his pocket. He had a We’re back! text from Nancy and two Instagram notifications from Dustin, who spammed him every single video and post he thought was funny.

“How much?” Eddie asked, clicking open Venmo.

“Eh, don’t worry about it.” Steve chucked the socks again, startling Eddie when they hit him square in the chest. He narrowed his eyes, caught off guard.

“Hmm, suspicious. Why the random act of kindness, Harrington?”

“Consider it payback. Saving me from itchy skin all these years.”

Oh. That was sweet.

Eddie tried not to overthink it.

Their food arrived at an hour on the dot, and they ate out of styrofoam containers on the couch, knees constantly knocking. Eddie was torn between looking at the cool dinosaurs and at Steve, who kept endearingly dropping rice onto the blanket around his waist.

“Kind of nice to finally admit to myself that Jeff Goldblum is actually hot.” Steve said around a mouthful of food. “Like, why did I deny it so long? I am so obviously bisexual.”

Eddie snorted out a laugh. “Yeah, and I’m so obviously gay, because I didn’t spare Laura Dern a second glance.”

“Ha, no, that’s where you’re wrong, she’s hot too. But like,” Steve stirred his rice with a fork, didn’t look up. He laser-focused on a chunk of carrot. “Can you be, like, twenty-five percent straight, seventy-five percent gay? Because, really, I think Robin's right, that’s how I feel lately.”

Eddie lost some oxygen, scrambled desperately through his flower field, picked to the bone ‘til his fingers bled. Was it really all for naught? Was he overanalyzing paper-thin shards, praying for hints, for clarity?

Or was he finding needles in a haystack? Little clues?

He was too afraid to guess.

Back to ping-pong.

“You can be…whatever you want to be, Steve.” Eddie poked the lime wedge on his tray. “Whatever makes you happy.”

Steve’s eyes eventually drifted back to the screen, almost the end of the movie. The raptors closed in on the kids in the kitchen.

He bumped his shoulder against Eddie’s. “Thanks, man.”

***

Classes resumed. Another week of non-events. Eddie’s schedule was full of school, school, school, and a few music lessons with some teenagers in a rock band nearby. (They were fine, never would be as good as Corroded Coffin had been.) He wanted to rake together a little more money before Christmas.

He grabbed lunch with Nancy on Wednesday, caught up with her over Tropical Smoothie. She was also saving up, to buy Robin a pair of diamond earrings. He was surprised they weren’t fucking engaged already, but she said they were so young and wanted to wait until college was over, at least. Or grad school. Nancy was probably going to have a goddamn PhD.

He’d told her that things with Steve had been surprisingly…normal. Like the roof situation had never even happened. Maybe he really believed Eddie had been joking. She’d rolled her eyes at that, said he was stupid, and needed to learn to communicate properly, but then she’d dropped it.

He did not tell her about the dirtier details. That were still ongoing, actually. Hard habit to break?

Yeah, okay, he jacked off to his roommate multiple times a week, Nancy didn’t need to know that.

So, they talked about assignments, and work, and briefly about a true crime podcast that Nancy liked and Eddie didn’t.

“And, oh, I almost forgot,” She added, as they were tossing trash and getting ready to walk out the door. “Robin and Argyle want to go see this band at the Grin and Tonic this weekend. They said tell you and Steve, we should all go. Jonathan’s going too, obviously. It’s twenty-one and up, so none of the kids can come. But I’m fine with avoiding Mike’s puke this time.”

“What’s the band?” He asked, as they pushed out the door into the cold. It was a short walk back to campus.

Nancy looked apologetic. “I truly could not tell you. She told me but it’s a weird name. Kinda like, rap, pop, dancey? I dunno, club music. Not really your taste, but it’s a night out. Saturday.”

Nancy bundled into the crook of his arm when the breeze picked up. They crossed the street in a crowd of other students, all tucked into scarves and jackets.

She jammed her elbow into his side mischievously, “And maybe you’re incapable of talking to Steve, but you could probably dance with him. Steve likes to dance. Or like, whatever he thinks dancing is.”

Eddie exhaled. His breath poofed out in front of him, blurry and white. “Sure, Nance. We’ll go to your little concert. Whatever you say.”

***

Hellfire Club reconvened Friday night, after Eddie’s class. It had been a while since their last meeting. They were at the tail-end of this campaign, hoping to wrap it up over Christmas break, and then it would be Will’s turn to DM again.

The Party sat in one of the library’s study rooms, which, no, they weren’t studying, but Fred had waved them in anyway and said not to worry about it. The place was dead on a Friday night.

They were basically finished with tonight’s session, pretty much just shooting the shit and eating smuggled-in snacks, now. Lucas, Dustin, Will, Mike, and Eddie crammed around the table, and El and Max spread out a blanket to sit on the floor. They were pouring over sheets music of sorority…songs? Eddie didn’t realize sororities had actual songs, just those wild chants he always saw in rush TikToks. But they apparently needed to learn them and know them by heart.

“Sounds like hazing to me.” Mike shrugged. “You’re being hazed.”

“It’s not hazing, Mike.” El furrowed her brows. “We have not been hazed. They are nice songs. About sisterhood.”

“Yeah, Mike, don’t hate on their songs. That’s not very feminist of you.” Will teased, sneaking a quiet handful of Cheez-Its. He wore a shit-eating grin.

Mike returned his comment with a biting glare. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I wonder if frats have songs too. Do you think Steve has to sing?” Dustin mused. “Lucas, will you sing if you have to, when you join a frat? Will you tell us all the secrets?”

“No.—I mean, I guess if I had to.” Lucas put his notebook in a sling bag. “But I wouldn’t tell the secrets, just like I don’t tell the Party’s secrets.”

“You totally shared Party secrets with Max in middle school.” Dustin combatted.

“That’s—that’s different, she was joining the Party. She’s my girlfriend now.”

“I am? That’s what you think?” Max joked from the floor. She was smug behind her paper.

Lucas groaned, exasperated, and dropped his forehead to the table.

“Tough break, dude.” Eddie sympathized, patting his forearm. He’d joined the Party too, and nobody had batted an eye.

“What are you doing tomorrow night, Eddie?” Dustin piped up. He stole the box of Cheez-Its from Will. “Wanna have that Mario Kart tournament?”

“Ah, can’t, Henderson. Going out. To a bar. A club. A place.”

“Aw, man, are you seeing that show with Nancy?” Mike grumbled. “No fair, we need fake IDs. Such bull.”

“What show?” Lucas’ voice was muffled.

“You don’t need fake IDs.” Eddie laughed. “Get drunk in your dorm until you’re twenty-one, or go to house parties, like the rest of us did. It’s a rite of passage.—And I don’t know, Lucas. Some pop-dance BS.”

“Sounds fun.” Will shrugged. “I didn’t actually hate that frat party like I thought I would. Music was cool.”

“I thought it was fun, too, Will.” El tapped his leg. “Even when Mike vomited. That was funny.”

Mike sighed. “Realll funny. Everyone’s on my case today, huh?”

“It’s just so easy.” Max giggled. “Look how red you get.”

“Oh my God, screw you guys. Time to go home.”

Will pinched his cheek. “You do get kinda red.”

Mike packed in a huff and the rest followed suit. It was almost ten PM, closing time for the library. They waved goodbye to Fred, who was shooing out a few stragglers, and scattered out into the night.

“Well, maybe if you aren’t hungover on Sunday we could all get pizza or something.” Dustin offered. “We need to all get together for Secret Santa name drawing.”

“Joyce said she’d love to host the Christmas party this year, since the Wheelers did last year.” El explained. “Dad was also okay with it!”

“Kinda hope I draw Max’s name.” Lucas said, under his breath. “One less gift to buy.”

“I totally heard that.”

Max knocked into him like a train, almost taking him to the ground, but grabbed his hand.

“Yeah, sounds good to me.” Eddie gave a thumbs up. “Just text me.”

They all called their “good nights.” The freshmen went in one direction and Eddie went in the other.

Hellfire’s over, omw home. He texted Steve. wanna watch die hard? It’s Christmas time

Eddie added three Santa emojis and hit send.

He was sort of surprised to not get a text back. The entire twenty-minute walk stretched by. Steve hadn’t said he had plans, but it was a Friday, that could’ve easily changed last minute. Maybe Robin had asked him to do something. She pulled him to the movie theater a lot when Nancy wouldn’t watch whatever dumb flick she had her eye on. Steve was always down for a dumb movie.

Eddie cocooned into the warmth of their dorm, made the regular trek upstairs. Other seniors flitted past him, donned in glitter and festive attire. The first of many holiday parties. Lots of ugly sweaters would be spotted on campus in the coming weeks.

He fumbled with his keys like always and clambered inside.

And…oh.

Darkness shrouded the room, but for the inconsistent flash of the TV. It sounded like HGTV, House Hunters, maybe. Mostly background noise. Half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich sat abandoned in the kitchenette, next to an open case of beer. A couple cans sprinkled the countertop, the coffee table.

And there was Steve, sunk into the cushions, face in his hands. He had on a stringy tank top and plaid pajama pants. He was wilting…sniffling? Crying?

Steve was crying?

“Steve?” Eddie asked, quiet as a whisper. Stark yellow light spilled onto his form from the hallway. Eddie hurried to shut the door. “Are you—what’s?”

Steve jumped, whipping his head up at the unexpected intrusion. He emitted a broken gasp and scrubbed the hell out of his face.

“Sorry, just…headache.” He answered weakly, hurriedly. He folded his palms like a prayer and dropped them to the bridge of his nose. “Just have a headache.”

Eddie stilled. That was a flat out lie. He shouldered out of his backpack and plopped it in the armchair.

“Steve…I’ve…known you for years and have never seen you…have this bad a headache, dude.” He eased up to Steve like he was a baby deer and gently sat on the edge of the couch, not touching him. Didn’t want to spook him.

“Either you’re…not being real with me, or I need to take you to the E.R..”

Steve actually laughed at that, a wet, sad sound. Sounded like a suction cup. Up close, his fingers were wet too. He tremored, a tiny bit. It was hard to see, in the flare of the TV, but Eddie noticed.

Eddie, overwhelmingly, wanted to hold him. Rock him until it was better. He scooched an inch closer.

“Stevie. C’mon. Talk to me.”

“…It’s, not—no, it’s not a headache, but I’m…fine. Just kinda…panicked, it happens. All good now.” He made a disgusting snorting sound, clearing gunk out of his throat. “Fine.”

Eddie held his tongue, didn’t want to push him, but, he needed to push him. He needed to make sure he was really okay. Nancy would be so proud; communication. Even if it was a little one-sided.

“…You had a panic attack?”

“…Yeah.”

Eddie watched the slow rise and fall of Steve’s shoulders. They were bare and blue, yellow, white, blue, whatever color came onscreen. Steve was sculpted like a statue, but soft and forlorn.

“Has that happened before?”

“Yeah.”

“…A lot?”

“Sometimes.” Steve exhaled unevenly. “I normally call Robin, but my phone died and I think I left my charger in class. I’m—I’m good now.”

Silence fell so heavily it could’ve cracked the tile floor.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Eddie whispered carefully, after an extended breath. He searched Steve’s face.

“…I’m…embarrassed, okay? We don’t have to talk about anything. Thanks, though.”

Eddie nudged him, lightly, on the bicep. “Nothing to be embarrassed about, man. It’s me.”

The calm before the storm was eerie, almost. A vacuum of contemplation. Thick fog on the horizon, in the distance, a hurricane about to hit.

Steve wrenched out a broken whimper and shook into sobs.

“Oh, fuck, Steve—” "Baby" was on the edge of Eddie’s tongue. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

Steve shivered so hard that it bounced the couch cushions. He collapsed into himself, head crumpling into his arms, into his lap. He compacted his frame into something smaller, less noticeable, less humiliating, maybe.

“S-sorry.” He coughed out. Fell into a stream of, “sorrys.”

Eddie anguished over how often this might’ve happened behind closed doors. Felt like shit that should’ve known. They’d all had their breakdowns, but this was Steve losing it.

“Please don’t be sorry. You’re okay, Stevie. I’m here for you. I’m right here. Do you want me to call Robin, would that help?”

Steve didn’t answer, long wails eventually smoothing down into quieter snivels. He was audibly fighting to get a hold of himself.

“Fuck—this—I’m fucking embarrassed, I-I didn’t want you to—”

“Stop, Steve, seriously.” Eddie finally put a hand on his back, circled in a soothing motion like Wayne used to do when he had nightmares. It effectively shut him up; Steve loosened at the touch. “It’s okay. I’m here for you.”

He went round and round, up Steve’s spine, back down. Tried to be gentle, but grounding. Eddie transitioned between a flat palm and skating fingertips. He went so far as the nape of Steve’s neck. Wanted to stroke his hair, but might’ve been too much. The shaking eventually subsided, Steve’s breath growing deeper, more even. He remained balled up.

“…Thanks, Eddie.” He said in a sigh, after a long stretch. Several more minutes passed before he rose. Eddie let his hand slip down, off Steve’s shoulder blades.

His face scorched red and his eyes were puffed up. His usual floofy hair sagged. He looked like shit. Eddie still wanted to hold him. Wanted to cuddle him to his sternum.

“I, um,” Steve began, then lost his mental footing. He cleared his throat before continuing. “I just, um, don’t know what’s gonna happen? When we graduate. And I freaked out about it. I’ve been freaking out but I like really freaked out about it. You…you go to school for like sixteen fucking years and then just…stop.—And I’m sure as hell not going to grad school. But it’s all we’ve ever known.”

Eddie offered a sympathetic smile. He kept his voice low. “Steve, I cried about that like, last week. It’s okay. Please don’t feel embarrassed. And like, don’t feel hopeless, okay? You have so many prospects, man. You’re going to be fine.”

He tapped Steve’s thigh, taunt through the cotton. Laid his hand to rest back on the couch. Steve stared at the floor.

“I don’t feel that way. Like—look at you, Eds. You’re already making plans. You’re talking about moving. To another state, even. That’s eons ahead of where I am, mentally. I can’t even think about next week, l-let alone next semester, and then what comes next.”

“That’s still just, like, an idea. I dunno, maybe I’ll stay here. It’s fine here, y’know?”

Steve’s expression morphed into a glare. He had a sudden fucking vendetta with their rug, burning a hole in it.

“I…I can’t stay here.” He wiped his cheeks again, scraped at this eyes. “I don’t want to be…near my parents. Any of their houses. I don’t want to be here, where everything’s gray and brown all year. And—and some republican conservative asshole is sniffing around, waiting for me to make a mistake. I can’t—I think that I wouldn’t admit to myself that I was bi, because of that.”

Steve sniffed, swallowed. “One wrong move here and I’m done. Sure, it’s better than it used to be, but, like, how am I supposed to work in a school here, when somebody might report me, like, ‘Mr. Harrington is a homo.’ I just…don’t want to fake myself anymore.”

Eddie’s chest twinged. Yeah. That part fucking sucked. He’d been called every name in the book, sneered at since his preteen years. Dog shit on the porch, graffiti on the van. It was better, sure, especially in college, but it still wasn’t good. That poison vine wrapped itself in, took root. It was hard to shake. Eddie slapped on a courageous face and an overly theatrical bravado to cope, to pretend it didn’t hurt, where Steve had…bottled it up.

“But—” Steve started once more. He hiccupped, stopped. Eddie watched him lick his lips, watched him stare through the looking glass again. There was probably a white rabbit there, whipping around a stopwatch aggressively.

“But what would I do without all you guys?” Steve’s voice cracked on the last word. He blinked rapidly, tears gathering on his eyelashes again. They were so long, and pretty, like a girl’s. But better, because they were Steve’s. Eddie almost wiped at them.

“Steve…” He frowned.

“You’re all my family, man.” Steve dabbed his eyes with the front of his shirt. A few stray tears dripped. “I-I was so afraid to go to college, because I’d made a home in this little ragtag group in Hawkins, with the kids, Robin, Nance, all of them. And then even college wasn’t so bad, because I had you.”

Eddie’s lower lip betrayed him, starting to quiver. Their ocean surged inside him, threatening to steal them to the depths. The net with the fucking sea turtle, life jackets overboard, Eddie was sinking.

Steve clutched the hem of his tank top, still looking down.

“But if—if you guys all stay here, and I have to go…Or if you go to Boston, and I’m…I don’t even fucking know where, I just…like, what the fuck do I do, Eddie? What does anyone do, how do you know what to do?”

Oh Jesus, he was going to take a leap of faith, wasn’t he? Eddie was going to follow the North Star, route for sunnier skies. Adjust the sails. Whatever goddamn saying applied.

“Steve, hey, like, fuck all that, okay?” Eddie mustered every tiny fleck of courage he had and took Steve’s wrist. His skin was hot, his pulse was a drumbeat. “Let’s stay together. Let’s pick somewhere together. We’re already roommates, right? We like living together. Let’s, like, pick a place, split rent, get big boy jobs—”

“But, Boston, and Chrissy—”

“Chrissy was just suggesting, I only told her I’d think about it. Her lease goes for months past graduation anyway.”

“Well, the trailer, it’s—”

“Also a nice gesture, which Wayne said he wouldn’t be offended if I didn’t take. Steve, I don’t really think I want to spend the rest of my life in Hawkins, Indiana either. It’s the armpit of the country.”

Steve cracked a smile, let out a laugh amidst the hysterics. He didn’t shift his arm away.

“It’s such a fucking armpit.”

“Exactly. So, let’s not live there.”

“Well, where the hell do we live then?”

“Anywhere. San Diego. Seattle. Philly. Portland.”

Steve measured him, watched him with those copper-brown eyes, flecked with unshed tears. His brows pinched together.

“So like, you’re serious?” His tone was hesitant.

“As a fucking heart attack, Steve. We—we like being roommates, right? Let’s keep doing it.”

Steve finally broke his wrist free to yank Eddie into a hug. His face fell into Steve’s neck. Fire, salt, Eucalyptus Spearmint, it all blazed out his senses. They were bent on the couch, side by side, torsos turning to meet each other. Eddie let himself be enveloped. He succumbed, nerve endings zapping where Steve made contact.

Their thighs, chests, everything pressed together wholly. Those stupid, cute, pants, the slopes and valleys of Steve’s entire being, the tickle of his hair on Eddie’s forehead, it was almost too much.

He wanted to kiss him. To swivel them, to lay him down on the couch, uncover every patch of skin, ease away his sadness, reassure him that Eddie would always be there—

Steve gently pulled away. Maybe he lingered, or maybe it was all in Eddie’s head. Maybe their lips held a space too small, maybe Steve’s fingers grazed over him in a way that was kind of intimate, maybe Eddie was crazy, maybe this was a fever dream.

“I agree, Eds. Deal. Can we just—like, all this scary shit aside, let’s just be roommates forever, okay? I feel…better. Thank you. For everything tonight.”

Fireworks blew up, big, booming, obnoxiously bright and overwhelming inside Eddie’s skull. Christ, roommates forever? In Eddie’s dreams. But, roommates for the immediate future sounded pretty good for now, too.

Where they were going to rent a place, Eddie had no idea, still. But the notion of doing it together eased him just a little. Less, “up the creek without a paddle,” and more, “maybe in a giant lake, directionless, but holding a paddle?”

Where were all these fucking water metaphors coming from?

“Like I said, Stevie.” Eddie dared one more touch, a scruff brush on those plaid pajama pants, closer to the knee, not as bold as the thigh. “I’m always here for you.”

Eddie pushed up from the couch, mainly to gather himself, collect his thoughts. “Lemme get you my phone charger. And we can watch Die Hard.”

***

Eddie and Steve stayed up late Friday and then slept in late on Saturday. Emotional distress weighed on people like that. They lazed around through the afternoon, picking at homework and scrounging for food. Steve seemed tired, but, arguably better. The swelling around the apples of his cheeks had gone down. His eyes weren’t as bloodshot. He dumped all the empty beer cans into the trash can and took a shower, music blasting.

Nancy texted them their tickets to the show around seven, told them to meet at the bar around eight-thirty. Show would start at nine.

Pls don’t be late or Robin will murder you she tacked on, accompanied by her favorite emojis: the knife and gun. (She was also a big fan of the dynamite stick.)

“We gotta go soon, Steve.” Eddie called out the bathroom door. He leaned on the counter, carefully applying eyeliner in the mirror. It was still steamy.

“Yeah, almost ready.” Steve yelled back.

They convened in the common room and Eddie tried not to do a double take.

Steve looked good. Like, model good. His half-brown half-black button-up opened to a tight, white undershirt, with bleached blue jeans. Steve’s signature Nike’s were practically polished and his hair was styled articulately—messy, but on purpose.

Eddie was buzzed already.

“Aren’t you gonna be cold?” Eddie donned his favorite leather jacket with gray pants and a thrifted Green Day tee. A silver ring adorned almost each finger, but he felt weirdly underdressed.

“It’s gonna be fucking hot in there, the bars always crank the heat.” Steve replied, pocketing his wallet. “I’d probably leave it, unless you wanna hang it up at the door, but somebody might steal it.”

Eddie slipped out of his jacket on autopilot, trying not to think about Steve, and cranking it out, actually, and how Whitney Houston sang, “I wanna feel the heat with somebody.”

The Uber ride was chilly, but quick, and it dropped them right at the curb of Grin and Tonic, where the other four were waiting. Jonathan was more at Eddie’s speed in a plain outfit, where Argyle wore something boisterous and colorful. He greeted them enthusiastically, clasping hands and slapping backs.

Nancy glittered in a gold skirt, black tights, and a matching black turtleneck, and Robin looked very herself in combat boots and a big, green cardigan. Each of the girls kissed Eddie’s cheek.

“You ready to rock and roll?” Robin looped her arm through Steve’s, falling into step with him.

“I thought this was like, a pop concert though?” Jonathan raised an eyebrow.

“It is. But rocking and rolling is a mindset.” Robin nodded astutely.

They all fell into line. It was already wrapped out the door.

“I’m with the Robs here, man.” Argyle agreed.

While the rest of the group chatted, Eddie pinched Nancy’s sleeve and quickly rushed towards her ear.

“We had—well, sort of, a talk? Nothing like, romantic, or anything cheesy like that. But we’re going to live together, after graduation, so.”

Nancy spun on him, turning her head to snap their eyes together. Glitzy blue, widened in amazement.

“Serious?”

“No, lying.”

She smacked his bicep, snipped, “Don’t be an ass.”

“Yes, serious.” Eddie grinned, rubbing where it stung. “It still doesn’t mean anything, but it’s…good.”

Nancy cuddled up to him out of nowhere, throwing an arm over Eddie’s shoulders like they were on a date. Though, her girlfriend was just ahead, leaning heavily into Steve Harrington. Robin was gesturing wildly, animatedly explaining the upcoming music.

“It’s real good, Eds. Like, not to get your hopes up, butttt I think that’s one of his ‘trying to get laid’ shirts.”

Eddie wrestled her off with a fed-up laugh and groan, and lightly shoved her forward. She crashed between Argyle and Jonathan, directly into Robin and Steve. Robin, looking pleased, grabbed Nancy’s face and kissed her, in the neon hum of the bar sign.

Eddie watched them, watched Steve, watched the ripple of his arms sneaking up underneath the fabric. The sexiest thing about a button up shirt was sliding it off someone’s shoulders. Already unbuttoned, little to the imagination.

Was it? A “trying to get laid” shirt?

Maybe.

But like, probably not by Eddie.

“Eds, c’mon, you’re falling behind, dude!” Steve called suddenly. They were at the front of the line, and Eddie had accidentally drifted behind two other girls.

“”Scuse me. Sorry.” He mumbled, pushing through. He joined his friends, presented his ID, and a beefy bouncer slapped a bright red paper wristband on him.

They crowded into the bar, and Steve ushered him inside with a light hand ghosting over the middle of his back.

But like…maybe?

He fought goosebumps.

They were assaulted with warmth inside, walking through a sweltering curtain the minute they crossed the doorway. It was humid, like a sauna. A mass of bodies mingled in the center of the room, constantly fluctuating in the low light.

“Jesus, am I laying in a tanning bed?” Nancy pulled at the collar of her turtleneck. Her hair was going to frizz, for sure. Eddie’s too.

“You could like, get naked?” Robin winked.

Nancy declined the suggestion.

Steve leaned into Eddie’s space, smirking. “What did I tell you?”

Holy shit, it was going to be a long night. That one line from I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) kept carouseling through Eddie’s brain. Feel the heat, feel the heat, feel the heat. Nobody was sweating yet, but they were going to be.

The six of them sidled to one of the bars, shoes sticking on the floor.

The giant room domed into two zones. Near the front, there were two long, rectangular bars, only with a few stools, packed like sardines on all sides with customers. Six bartenders flitted around each one and made drinks at lighting speed. The tip jars were already teeming with wrinkled ones and fives.

At the back of the room, the ceiling hiked up exponentially to encompass a big stage, and an expansive pit area. Dappled lights transitioned every few seconds, shooting off beams against a massive disco ball. Fractured colors clipped against the walls, ceiling, floors, other people. It always reminded Eddie of a kaleidoscope. Everyone flocked to Grin and Tonic, even if it was currently a sweatbox.

“First round’s on me.” Steve shouted over the thunderous music. “Lemon drops?”

Steve wasn’t the kind of guy to flounce his money, but he was always willing to spend it.

“Hell yeah, dude.” Argyle shot a thumbs up. “Sounds delightful.”

Steve squeezed his way into the throng of other twenty-somethings around the bar. He leaned up to it, elbows-deep in splashes of run-off mixed drinks and condensation. Eddie couldn’t really see his face now, just his body, just his slender waist and the tight curve of his ass in those bleached jeans. Steve shifted his weight from one foot to the other, and Eddie made himself look away.

Nancy kept echoing in his mind, two underlined words, “get laid.”

He stole a glance back.

And then Steve turned, waving them over to pass out tiny plastic cups sloshing with liquid. Eddie took his, and they formed a loose semi-circle.

Raised their glasses, knocked them down, tossed them back, and the liquor burned down Eddie’s throat.

“You think the opener DJ takes requests?” Robin made a sour face, collecting everyone’s trash in a stack. “Now I wanna hear Shots by LMFAO.”

“What’s the one he says after Lemon drops?” Jonathan cackled, “Buttery nipples?”

“Ew, God.” Nancy giggled.

“It’s just the lyrics!”

They debated the greatest types of shots, clashing about Jello, when Steve tugged Eddie’s sleeve.

“What else do you want?” He asked, basically into Eddie’s ear. The whisper of breath against skin electrified him. Eddie was so fucking alive.

“You.” He almost said. Didn’t.

“You don’t have to do that, man!” Eddie responded, tilting his head so Steve could hear too. His lips hovered two inches from Steve’s jaw. The temptation shook him to the core; a treasure trove presented to a smoldering dragon.

“I already opened a tab, it’s not a big deal. Just a vodka sour?”

Eddie visibly faked mulling it over, didn’t wanna give Steve the satisfaction of knowing his other basic bitch order.

“Say ‘yes,’ asshole.” Steve laughed, the sweet melody injecting right into Eddie’s veins. Was he a dragon or a drug addict?

Steve shook Eddie by the elbow.

“Fine.” Eddie conceded. “—Don’t act superior, mister rum and Coke.”

Steve jostled him, turned back to the crowd. Nancy wiggled her way in next to him, waving cash at the tattooed woman mixing a tequila sunrise.

Jonathan and Argyle took hits from a thin vape pen, exhaling bubblegum scented clouds. Technically the staff didn’t like smoking in here, but nobody enforced it. Robin snagged it for a turn.

Part of Eddie wanted to, but the other part of him wanted Steve to keep buying him drinks. When Jonathan offered, he muttered, “No, thanks.”

Nancy and Steve reappeared in minutes, juggling cups.

Steve presented Eddie with his, swishing it like a sommelier.

“To aerate the vodka.” He joked.

And then they were off. Their group shimmied into the crowd to find a decent spot to smush up next to other concert-goers. The opening DJ wound down his set and the lights transitioned, pulsing quicker. Within minutes, Robin and Argyle’s apparent favorite white rapper slash electronic dance pop artist was in the building.

(Eddie wasn’t being pretentious, this just wasn’t his favorite kind of music.)

But, God was it easy to get lost in. The liquor softened Eddie’s eyesight, blurred the edges of the night, just a little. When Steve came back with another round, another tart vodka sour, Eddie wasn’t drunk by any means, just…loose. Just enjoying.

The music fluxed, reverberated through surround-sound speakers. The floor, the fucking air was vibrating. Eddie couldn’t keep up with the lights; orange, orange, red, green, blue, orange, purple, yellow, white, all colliding in a mixed crossfire of lasers. Live shows just felt so good, genre be damned.

The crowd writhed and receded, merged again like a pit of snakes. They were all perspiring now, friction causing sparks. Robin and Argyle knew all the words, clinging together and scream-singing, thrashing to the beat. Nancy knew some, head-bopping in her own world, eyes closed and smile wide. She held her drink in the air like a championship trophy. Jonathan thrummed and sucked down his vape beside them.

And Steve was dancing, too, vibing with the ebb and flow of bodies, stealing swigs from his drink between movements. Eddie kept noticing a tiny stream of sweat on his neck, whenever the light caught it. His hair curled at the ends, licking against his jaw.

Eddie wanted to lick his fucking jaw.

They kept brushing together (all of them did, strangers too), but it flared through Eddie like a wildfire. Their biceps kept slicking against each other, hips jolting, every point of contact a live wire, frayed dangerously at the edges.

And he was on thin ice, letting himself openly admire Steve because the lights were low, and the music was loud, and it was so easy to let go when he was a speck of sand on a beach, one person in an enormous crowd, in a bumping nightclub. And he was on his fourth(?) vodka sour.

The song crescendoed, blasted into something else. Robin gasped and let out a string of laughter.

“This one is the best!” She cried, before the music morphed into an energetic remix of All I Want for Christmas is You.

“Oh, yes!” Steve agreed enthusiastically, looping Robin close and spinning her. They twirled and swayed, dipped and wobbled, gigging all the while, and then Steve plopped her in Nancy’s arms and dramatically swept up Eddie.

Eddie’s heart fucking lurched, lodged hard into his ribcage when Steve wrapped one hand over his back and grasped the other like they were two kids at prom. He was belting out the lyrics, throwing his head back to sing at the ceiling and then reeling back in, enclosing them into an airtight bubble, surely, because Eddie couldn’t breathe.

“I just wanna see my baby, standing right outside my door!” Steve cheesed, off-key, eyes like stained glass in the sunlight, skin glowing with sweat and maybe Christmas fucking magic, Eddie didn’t know, and his lips were right there, he was looking at Steve’s lips—wait, fuck, was Steve looking at his lips?—was his collarbone always so angular?

Was Steve looking at this goddamn lips?

“Make my wish come trueeee!” Steve lobbed them sideways, slanted roughly and then back up. Their noses—he was so close, Eddie was suffocating. Steve wiggled him, playfully.

“Oh, baby, all I want for Christmas is—”

The beat dropped, exploded, burst into “youuuu” from Crank That (Soulja Boy) and Steve started laughing so hard that he cried.

“Oh, my God.” He cackled, along with the rest of their party. The crowd roared. Robin and Argyle applauded and whistled. Steve squeezed Eddie’s ridiculously clammy hand, dropped his head onto Eddie’s shoulder, and just laughed and laughed.

“That was good.” He said, into the fabric of Eddie’s tee. The live wire ignited, huge risk of a fire hazard, or a goddamn boner.

“Yeah, funny as hell.” Eddie finally got out. Steve peeled off of him (literally, they were so sweaty), and was slow to let go of his hand.

Why slow?

Why slow?

The “get laid shirt thing” was his only intelligible thought.

Eddie’s heart continued to tattoo his chest cavity.

“I’m gonna get another drink. I think I need some fucking water. You want anything?”

Eddie felt Nancy kick him in the shin. He cut his eyes to her, while she lazily swayed on Robin’s side, curled around her like a scarf. Nancy winked.

“Yeah, I’ll come with.”

They weaved through the masses, as the music evolved into another amalgamation of 2010s pop and rap. Eddie followed Steve’s form like a flashlight in the dark. He was clueless and foggy now, brain on overdrive. Was Eddie completely misreading things or was the get laid shirt a super real thing? Was Eddie the fucking target audience? He couldn’t just ask something like that, he couldn’t risk getting it all wrong.

He couldn’t crash and burn. Especially not now that they had these plans after graduation.

“Jesus Christ, I’m sweating buckets.” Steve quipped when they made it out by the bar, where it was a little sparser. Most patrons were flocking the stage now. Steve pulled his undershirt up, flapping it to cool his torso. Eddie caught a glimpse of his stomach.

“Yeah, same. Glad I didn’t bring the jacket.”

“Don’t wanna say ‘told you so,’ but.”

“So don’t, dickwad.”

Steve smirked, self-satisfied.

They walked up to the bar, where a short-haired woman was juggling a shaker in one hand and a Red Bull and cup in the other.

Steve propped himself up and cocked a hip out, waiting for their turn to order. Eddie could’ve fucking swooned. His hand still tingled, the spot on his back sharp like a brand. He glanced at Steve’s face—and was assaulted with a swarm of butterflies when Steve was already looking at him.

Fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Eddie hurriedly looked away, busying himself with grabbing a few cocktail napkins. He dabbed his forehead and crumpled one, then tossed it in the trash directly next to them.

Oh, fuck, oh, fuck.

Did he need to say something? Was this real? Was Eddie fucking drunk, was he tripping balls, did he unknowingly ingest fucking shrooms?

What happened next? Was he imagining things?

He was, like, basically out of daisies at this point.

He steadied himself, took a resolute breath, looked at Steve again…who was looking at the bartender, asking her for two waters, please.

“Sure thing.” She replied, seeming relieved it was an easy task.

Okay.

Eddie could do this. He could be super casual, super chill, maybe just say “cool shirt.” Like, was the shirt an actual thing? Nancy had dated him, was it in the Steve Harrington Handbook? Would he pick up what Eddie meant, or like…? Maybe a different approach?

But then, unfortunately: “Who is so lame that they order waters at the bar?” Came a shrill voice on the other side of Steve, out of nowhere. Both he and Eddie turned.

And there was Carol Perkins, from high school, smiling deviously with Tommy Hagan at her side.

The Universe was mocking Eddie Munson. Pointing at him and saying, “Haha! Suffer, bitch!”

“Oh, shit, hey guys.” Steve lifted a hand in a wave. “Been forever.”

“Steve Harrington!” Carol crooned, unhooking herself from Tommy to snatch Steve into a hug. Tommy did next, though it was stiff and awkward, reeking of toxic masculinity, like men couldn’t give each other hugs.

“How’s it going, dude? How’s U of I? Senior year, man!” Tommy’s mouth lifted sideways.

“It’s good, great!” Steve put on his Charming Frat Boy Smile. “You guys remember Eddie from Hawkins? He’s my roommate.” Steve patted Eddie’s shoulder. Nice to be included, even if he had no interest talking to these doormats. Especially not when he’d been about to have maybe a potentially important conversation.

“Hi, Eddie.” Carol didn’t exactly hide her disdain, but it wasn’t blatant and outright, either. “Good to see you.”

“Likewise.” Eddie sloppily saluted.

“Indiana State treating you guys well?” Steve asked, as the bartender slid them their waters. Eddie took his, slipped a straw into it to stir and keep himself occupied.

“Yes!” Carol gushed. “It’s the best. Going to be so weird to graduate, but, Chicago awaits!”

“They’ve got the huge bean there, y’know?” Tommy waggled his eyebrows. “Might have to flick it.”

“Ew, Tommy,” Carol smacked his arm. “You’re disgusting. It’s cool for other stuff too!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve nodded. “I’ve been. It’s nice.”

Eddie had been too, but he didn’t want to say.

There was a small lapse in conversation, that weird funk when catching up with someone so familiar, but from a past life.

“So, uh, what brings you guys to this part of town?” Steve crunched some ice. Eddie stirred his water faster.

“This concert, bro.” Tommy slapped the bar top. “Guy rules. We met up with Jason, he’s taking a piss but I’m sure he’ll wanna say ‘hi’ too. We’re crashing at his place tonight. I’m sure you see him all the time though here, man.”

Eddie almost did a spit take, quietly regurgitating water into his cup. His throat was suddenly sore.

“Jason Carver?” Steve asked incredulously. “You’re kidding.”

Then, the Universe threw raw eggs at Eddie’s head. They squelched into his hair.

“What about me?” Taunted a familiar voice, gravel against Eddie’s ears. That little fucker appeared, as if out of thin air, on Eddie’s left.

“There he is!” Tommy cheered, oblivious.

“Just how fancy meeting you guys here.” Jason glared, within an arm’s reach of Eddie. He puffed his chest out, free of Andy here but no less intimidating.

Eddie felt Steve shift, sliding ever so slightly in front of him.

“Hey, like, cool seeing you guys, but we’re not really friends with Jason, so.” Steve’s voice strained. Carol looked between them, confused.

“Why the bad vibes, Steve? The hell?” She giggled, trying to dissipate the tension.

“Yeah,” Jason tilted his head, “Why the bad vibes, Steve? What have I ever done to you, man? And your…trailer trash friend, here?”

Jason reached around, bold, and tapped a finger hard to Eddie’s chest. Eddie froze. It felt like a hammer.

Steve grumbled quietly, like a feral animal, ready to attack. For a terrifying second, Eddie was worried he was going to throw a punch. If he did that, they’d definitely get ejected from the club. Or maybe arrested? They were in public, and they weren’t teenagers anymore.

“Remember our little chat, Jason? Or do we need to have that again?” Steve growled.

“Yo, man,” Tommy tried to step between them, “I dunno you guys’ beef, but just chill. I don’t want security fucking with us.”

“Yeah, c’mon, Jason, I didn’t pay sixty dollars for your tickets just to get kicked out.” Carol pouted.

“Oh, I’m not doing anything.” Jason’s eyebrows sliced down, cutting harshly onto his face. He looked Eddie right in the eye and poked his chest again, three times, on each word. “Not. At. All.”

Steve visibly restrained himself. His jaw clenched enough to crack a tooth. Instead of fucking clocking Jason like Eddie knew he wanted to, he wrapped an arm around Eddie’s middle protectively, fingers digging fiercely into his waist. Eddie startled, blinked, and watched in shock as Steve dumped his ice water over Jason’s head.

“Yeah.” Steve said flatly, all pretty-boy, clipped, “You’re not.”

Carol slapped a hand over her mouth while Jason fumed. He reared up to battle, but Tommy grabbed his collar.

“C’mon, man, don’t.” Tommy begged.

“You’re lucky it was water, you fucking prick.” Steve rolled his eyes, tossed his cup in the garbage can. “C’mon, Eds.”

Eddie was too surprised to walk, let Steve steer him away. His legs wobbled like a jello shot in a tiny plastic container. Steve didn’t release him, led them in tandem back to the edge of the dance floor.

“Fuck you, Harrington!” Jason shouted after them, but didn’t pursue. “Go get your little boyfriend to suck your dick in the bathroom, you pussy!”

Riled up, Steve spun on his heel, jostling Eddie with him. But he didn’t let go. His fingertips squished into Eddie’s torso.

“At least I’m not sucking my own dick, Carver!”

“Steve!” Eddie wheezed, when they turned back around. He could hear Tommy, Carol, and Jason squabbling at the bar.

“Steve—Jesus, man, are you crazy?! They’re gonna think—”

“Fuck it, let them think!” Steve rolled his eyes intensely, clearly fed up.

And he still didn’t let go, he didn’t let go, he was holding Eddie as they eased back into the mob. Their friends were not around, probably near the front.

“I’m so sick of Jason and everything he represents and his closed-minded redneck bullshit. I’m tired of faking myself, remember? So, yeah, let them fucking think. Whatever. Just—fuck him and let’s have fun. Tonight has been great and I don’t want that to ruin it. Let’s dance, okay? Do you wanna dance with me?”

Eddie, in his hallucinogenic hysteria, almost sang, “I wanna dance with somebody.” But he didn’t. Though he was certainly feeling the fucking heat. He couldn’t form a response.

He let himself be held, and now they were facing each other, and Steve’s arms loosely bracketed around him, and Eddie’s heart was in his throat, pummeling away, while other people smashed them even closer together. The lights shimmered beautifully around them like a million stars and the music was just noise, indistinguishable, and Eddie skirted his hands bravely over Steve’s shoulders.

“Y-yeah, sure. Let’s dance.”

Chapter Text

If their buttons clicked, it would all be over. If Eddie’s belt loops aligned with Steve’s, he’d come undone like yarn; Eddie would snag his fingers in them and yank their hips together and this confusing tirade would come to an end. For better or worse. Eddie didn’t know which.

He wanted it to be for better, duh, but he couldn’t guarantee that, so he made no advances, and stamped down his lust, and carefully kept their zippers six inches apart. (Which was a goddamn challenge, the way other people kept bumping into his back, or Steve’s, sending them topping closer.)

Of fucking course he wanted to kiss him. Of course he wanted to pull Steve Harrington as close as humanly possible and kiss the daylights out of him, but he just didn’t know if Steve felt the same.

The mixed signals showered Eddie like shrapnel now—loud, explosive, blinding, especially in the dim light of Grin and Tonic. Not long ago, Steve had been frowning on the rooftop, and now he was holding Eddie’s waist and asking him to fucking dance? He kept, like, looking at him? Not just “looking” but really looking, italicized, bold, all caps, underlined.

Was he drunk? Maybe.

…But Steve didn’t seem drunk. He was swiveling in the neon, eyes half-lidded in the comfort of the booming bass. Not in a sloppy way, just…content, now. He wasn’t totally sober, sure, but he wasn’t drunk.

Maybe he’d just been feeling protective, pissed at Jason, posturing to be better than him? Like some kind of power trip? Mother hen Steve pecking at the fox in the coop, relieved when Jason had been taken care of? Just wanted to dance now that the problem was solved?

…But he’d been making eyes at Eddie before Jason showed up, so that couldn’t be right. Unless somebody else at the bar rubbed him the wrong way.

Or maybe he was finally relaxed, just happy to have a sort-of plan for the future with his friend, with Eddie. Letting his worries go.

Dancing was platonic too. Steve probably would’ve danced with Jonathan.

…Okay, no, not at all, not Jonathan. But dancing was a normal friend activity. Eddie would’ve danced with Nancy. It didn’t have to be inherently sexual.

“You good, Eds?” Steve called into Eddie’s ear, amplifying his voice to be heard over the music. “You got all stiff, man.”

Steve pulled back to watch him again, surveying Eddie for signs of distress. Sweat poured down Steve’s neck now, rivulets running over tight cords of muscle. It pooled against his undershirt, stuck the collar of his button-up to his skin. His hair furled in the humidity, falling limply on his forehead. His eyes glimmered with every color of the laser-light show and his lips popped pink in the glow. This close, Eddie could smell him, and it should’ve been fucking gross but he just wanted more, he wanted to strip off Steve’s clothes and slip their bodies together in a sauna. He wanted him wet, and slick.

Jesus Christ, Eddie was stiff, all right.

This was so not going according to plan. Eddie had maybe one life left, and then it was Game Over, flashing bright red onscreen. He needed to tread carefully.

And he was grateful for the shadows.

“Yeah,” Eddie replied, brain scrambling. He glanced behind himself to bide a few extra seconds, quickly looked for Jason. “Just, thanks again for taking care of that asshole.”

“If he ever messes with you when I’m not around, please tell me, okay? I’ll fucking—”

“I don’t want you fighting him for me, Steve.” Eddie laughed, despite himself, against the music. Even if it would’ve been kind of hot.

An electric current ran through him when Steve’s grip on his t-shirt tightened suddenly. His knuckles lightly pressed against Eddie’s ribs.

“I totally would though. I’d trash him for you.”

“Well. Thanks.” On their own accord, Eddie’s hands responded back. Ringed fingers knotted into Steve’s shoulders, like magnets answering a pull. Steve didn’t swat his hands away, didn’t relinquish his own hold.

They stilled, movements stalling as the rest of the crowd swung around them. Eddie’s brain flew out the window from a ten-story building, into an Olympic-sized swimming pool.

Out of nowhere, every point of contact was an open flame, rapidly igniting on kindling and smoking Eddie inside-out. He burned with desire, reckless bravery. Eddie didn’t want to lose this feeling. It had to be for better.

“You know, I’d do anything for you.” Steve reassured, gaze like melting glass, arms like anchors. The music tremored and Eddie’s heart banged like a snap dragon on the sidewalk.

Fuck.

He was so close, about to be KO’d any second. No level-ups left, no health potions.

Steve licked his fucking lips. Eddie knew because he kept looking at them. Couldn’t help it. It was only fair now.

“…Hey, Steve…” Eddie clung to his shoulders. His breath dispersed over Steve’s cheek, shaky.

“Yooo, lemme get in here, brochachos!”

Argyle scooped them up, blasting in from the side and collecting Eddie and Steve in his arms. He wrapped them both together and swirled them in a circle, smacking Eddie in the face with long, luscious hair. Eddie stepped on someone’s shoe.

He could hear Steve laughing, and tried so hard not to get upset.

Argyle didn’t know, it wasn’t his fault, he was high off the music of one of his favorite artists. And weed. He’d been smoking all night, had absolutely no clue Eddie and Steve were skirting around each other in this horrible Will-They?, Won’t-They? thing. He didn’t even know Steve was bi, probably.

Steve’s hands slid from Eddie’s sides, jostled off in the waltz. Eddie swallowed, fought the embarrassing sting in his eyes.

“How you likin’ the music, gentlemen?” Argyle grinned, letting go to analyze them carefully. “Does it speak to your souls?”

“Oh, definitely.” Steve nodded. He wasn’t even fazed, didn’t seem troubled. The moment had been manufactured by Eddie’s delusions again, probably.

“There you guys are!” Robin barreled in too, grabbing Steve’s bicep and sweeping him near her. “Jonathan saw dickbag Jason near the bathrooms, we’ve been looking everywhere for you guys. Him and Nancy are staking out to keep him away!”

“He’s been dealt with already, Robs.” Steve patted her cheek. “I dumped water on his head.”

Her mouth made a tiny “o” shape.

“He was fucking with Eddie again. We barely talked to him.”

“Wow,” Robin brushed a finger down Steve’s nose. “What a guy, Steve. Defending Eddie’s honor. You’re a dreamboat.”

Robin winked at Eddie, smiling softly. “Isn’t he?”

“Steve’s pretty fucking cool, man.” Argyle agreed, ruffling Steve’s extremely unruly hair.

“Yeah, definitely.” Eddie couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes. He was so appreciative of the dark, the confusing colors that slung around the room, warping every view. When he looked down, there was a tiny scuff on the toe of Steve’s Nike, the one he’d stepped on.

“Steve’s pretty cool.”

***

Eddie pretended to be hungover the next day.

After reuniting with the rest of their friends at the bar, he and Steve didn’t dance together again. The night wound down with a few more drinks and brainless chatter, vibing to the last of the music.

Him and Steve returned to the dorm around two-thirty in the morning, after a quiet, sleepy Uber ride. Eddie had waved good night the second they got in the door and hurried to his bedroom, feigning headache and exhaustion.

Then he’d jerked off, face in the pillow, thinking about heat, and grinding, and frenzied, desperate confessions, and fell asleep without showering.

He was too hot, restless, and dreamt of drowning in a pit of snakes.

He ignored all his texts. The Party blew up the group chat about meeting today for the Secret Santa drawing. They decided on the cheap pizza place on the corner, Fat New York Slice. One PM.

hellooooo Dustin had texted him separately when he hadn’t confirmed. You’re the only one who hasn’t answered, u alive? U coming?

Eddie waited until noon to finally look at it.

Ive been barfing. Draw for me pls

Gross. Ok sorry about the barf

Steve hesitantly tapped on his door at twelve-thirty. It was barely audible.

“Eds?” He asked quietly, against the wood. “You okay?”

Eddie was not okay. He was on a teeter-totter of uncertainty.

“…Yeah…I puked. Just gonna sleep it off.”

Steve didn’t respond, and he didn’t walk away.
Then: “I can get you some water? Or ice?” Steve offered. “...Did you really drink that much last night?”

He knew that Steve knew he didn’t, because Steve bought all his drinks. He’d closed his tab, left a tip. He knew exactly how much Eddie had to drink.

Eddie stared upwards, blankets piled over him. He itched with dried sweat. He needed to change his sheets.

“Guess so.” Eddie said lamely. He started making patterns in the popcorn ceiling, waiting for Steve to leave. If he opened the door, who fucking knew what would happen. What was real and true anymore?

Did every little touch make Steve come alive, too? Did Eddie feel like oxygen, to him? Did he hold this precious, breakable, beautiful thing, carefully, in his hands?

What if they cracked it? One of those carved Easter-eggs, a paper-thin shell so pretty, but so fragile?

One wrong move could smash it whole, and Eddie could lose his roommate and his friend all in one go.

He genuinely felt nauseous now.

“Go ahead, Stevie. I’m good.”

A heavy pause simmered after, all the unsaid things steaming up and drifting into the air. What would Eddie have even told him last night? That he was in love with him? He would’ve just, like, said it? Felt stupid. Anxiety weaved in his ribcage, criss-crossed like shoelaces.

“…Okay. I’ll bring you back some garlic knots. You need to eat something later.”

“Thanks.”

Several long beats passed before Steve actually padded away.

Eddie blew out a sigh, waited for the dorm door to swing closed, listened for the clunk of the lock, and decided to call Chrissy.

She picked up on the fourth ring.
“Helloooo, Edward.” She sang.

“Ew,” Eddie made a face. “You know I hate that.”

“I know.”

“Um, Chris, sorry to spring this on you, but do you have the mental capacity for me to dump some shit on you right now?”

Chrissy hung up, which, ouch, but then his phone immediately chirped the FaceTime tune. Eddie answered.

“Oh, honey, you look like shit.” She wrinkled her nose. Chrissy had the phone propped up on her desk and was in the middle of painting her nails light purple. She wore an oversized brown sweater and had her hair in a claw clip. “Wish I could paint your nails for you.”

Eddie released the biggest breath of his life, holding the phone above his face so it fell into shadow.

“Me too.”

“Are they even painted right now?”

“No.”

“Not at all? Damn, you’re really beat then, huh? What’s wrong, Eddie?”

“Um.” Eddie shifted, flipped onto his belly. He put the phone on his pillow, leaned it against the slatted headboard. “This is, like, so multi-faceted.”

“That’s fine. I’m all ears.”

“…Okay. I’ll just, fuck it, just get it out then?—Uh, I’m in love with Steve? I cannot tell if he loves me back, like, Jesus, it’s all a mess, I’ve never been this fucked up in my life about something—and I used to smoke a lot more pot than I do now. I told him he was hot and he totally did not seem into that, but last night I thought he was going to kiss me, Chrissy, like, actually kiss me, but we got interrupted, and now I don’t know if it was all in my head or not. And we decided we’re going to live together after college—I’m not coming to Boston, I’m so sorry, that’s another layer to this, that I feel like shit about. And Wayne’s also moving, so I don’t wanna stay in Indiana? And neither does Steve. So I don’t know where we’re going. But I love him so much and I feel kinda, like, hopeless? On top of everything? I’m scared to ruin it? But I want it so bad, I—”

“Take a breath, Eddie, goodness. You’re okay. Breathe.”

He did as instructed.

“There you go. I didn’t know Steve was gay? Is that new?”

“He’s bi.”

“Oh, sorry, well, I didn’t know Steve was bi, but—”

“I know, and I shouldn’t have outed him, but I know you won’t tell anyone, I’d never tell anyone else. I just—just need advice, like Nancy just keeps telling me to talk to him about it, and I was finally actually going to, but the chance got fucked up, so, that’s gotta be a sign from the universe not to, right? Like, take a different approach? Or just—fucking let it go, right? Get over it?”

Chrissy deadpanned at him, thin polish brush hovering over her ring finger.

“Eddie.”

“What?”

“I’m on Nancy’s side here.”

“Oh my God.” Eddie gritted out. He slammed his face into the mattress and almost ripped his hair out.

“Well what do you want me to say?” Chrissy laughed. “Let it tear you up inside? Destroy yourself?”

“Y-yeah, I guess!” He blurted, frustrated. “Talking to him is too fucking hard. I can’t ruin everything, Chris. Especially not if we’re going to live together.”

“Okay, but if you get your shit together and decide to be lovers then you only have to pay for a one bedroom. Less rent and also sex.”

“Oh, c’mon, Cunningham, you sound like me! That’s some shit I would say. I need shit Chrissy would say.”

She dabbed the brush back in the bottle and started on her pinky finger.

“Chrissy says she misses you, and will miss the potential fun we’d have as roommates.” She smirked. “She also says that Steve is a really great person, and you’re a really great person, and great people go great together.”

“What in the Hallmark card hell is that?”

Chrissy giggled and rolled her eyes. “I dunno, Eddie, I haven’t had a boyfriend since Jason. I’m not good at romantic advice anymore. I am good at friend advice, and I think the best couples start out as friends. And as your friend, I’m telling you I think you should talk to Steve.”

“Ugh!” Eddie groaned, burying his face in the blanket. “I don’t want to.”

“Okay, then you should kiss Steve, if you don’t wanna use words.”

“I don’t want to—well, I do want to kiss Steve. Which is my problem.”

“Doesn’t sounddd like a problem.” She raised her eyebrows. “Steve Harrington is super handsome and if you think he was going to kiss you last night he probably was. Tell me exactly what happened.”

Eddie begrudgingly recounted the night, run-in with Jason, dancing, and all.

“He’d ‘do anything’ for you?” Chrissy cooed, starry-eyed. “That is so sweet. Eddie! Don’t be dumb. He’s into you too, clearly.”

“…I dunno, Chris. We’re viewing it through my lens. I don’t know what he’s thinking.”

“You would if you asked.”

“No!”

“Well.” Chrissy was finishing the top coat on her nails now. “If you’re going to ditch little old me, it had better be for a darn good reason, Eddie Munson. I will only allow it if you and Steve are madly in love, so you need to find out for sure.”

“Mmhm.” He rolled his eyes.

“Go get your black nail polish.

Eddie blinked at her. “Why?”

“Because you need a pick me up. And you look good in black nail polish. And that’ll help get you kissed by Christmas—at the latest, New Year’s Eve.”

“Yeah, okay, wishful thinking.”

She turned up her nose at him, playful. “Only one way to find out, isn’t there? Painting your nails and talking to him. That’s your homework. Remember? You used to give me homework. Like, ‘write one thing I like about myself every week.’”

Eddie loosened, took a deep breath.

“Yeah, yeah, I remember. I can at least do one of those things.”

“Good! Would I ever steer you wrong? Would Nancy? Man, no wonder she’s into girls now, you boys are goofs.”

“Oh,” Eddie barked out a laugh. “Gonna change teams, with Nance and Steve? Is bisexual Chrissy in the building?”

Chrissy smiled and half shrugged, blowing on her nails to dry them. “Maybe! Still focusing on just me right now. But we’ll see! Maybe we can have a special party when I get down for graduation. Me, realizing I like women and coming out, and you and Steve, celebrating your marriage. On top of college graduation, of course.”

“Ohhh, Chris. Very funny.”

“I’m predicting it ahead of time. Now, nail polish, chop chop!”

***

Eddie liked the smell of acetone. He’d showered and then placed his stuff at the table; black tar nail polish, little cotton pads, a small bottle of nail polish remover. It reeked, sharp and bitter, filling up the small dorm room. And he loved it. It transported him back to middle school, hunched over his bed and sloppily painting his fingers. Now, years later, he maneuvered with careful, practiced brush strokes.

Always made him feel kinda badass. Chrissy was right.

He twisted off his rings and stacked them in a pile, then went to work. Eddie connected his tiny Bluetooth speaker to an eighties metal playlist and started with the base coat like the grungy boy he was.

Steve got back when he was half-way done with the first hand.

“Jesus Christ, what is that smell?” Steve asked, barely through the doorway. He clutched a greasy, brown paper bag in one hand and a can of Coke in the other, jangling against his keys.

“Shit, sorry. I kinda went noseblind to it.” Eddie lied. He would’ve huffed it, truthfully.

“Oh.” Steve kicked the door shut behind him. “Thought there was a fucking gas leak. You feeling better?”

“Yeah.” Eddie answered simply. He laser-focused on the polish to avoid Steve’s prying eyes.

“No more puke?”

“Nope.”

Steve set the paper bag on the table, across from all the cosmetics. He plunked the Coke next to it.

“Brought you some food. If you want. And, oh, yeah.”

Eddie chanced looking up while Steve dug in his pocket. He produced a little, folded scrap of paper and pushed it towards Eddie.
“Your Secret Santa. Please tell Dustin I gave it to you because he was stressing about you not being there. Kid was going to pop a blood vessel.”

Eddie cracked a smile. Of course Dustin would.

“Thanks. How much for the garlic knots?”

“Don’t worry about it. Less than five bucks.”

“Geez, all this charity, lately…Appreciate it.” Eddie looked to Steve’s face, but his eyes were trained on the nail polish, and each subtle swipe.

Good God above, maybe Chrissy was right.

“Sure, man.” Steve almost visibly shook himself, and turned to plop on the couch. He flicked on the TV, scrolling aimlessly through the channels. “How are you not high as fuck off that?”

Eddie shrugged, but Steve couldn’t see. “Maybe I am.”

“Hmm. Okay.”

While Steve found something to watch on TV, Eddie carefully opened his paper with the dry hand. "Max" was scratched onto it neatly in blue ink. Sick, Max would be a fun one.

“Who’d you get?” Eddie asked Steve.

“I can’t just tell you, that ruins it.” Steve twisted over the back of the couch to look at him. “It’s Secret Santa.”

“Is it me?”

“No.”

“Eh, guess I don’t really care then.” Eddie returned to his pointer finger. He could feel Steve watching him.

“…You know, I don’t think we’ve ever gotten each other Christmas gifts.” Steve commented. “Kinda funny, right? Best friends and we never have?”

Something ticklish wiggled through Eddie’s stomach. He thought of Nancy, presenting shiny diamond earrings to Robin. He thought of Steve, handing him a messily-wrapped box, eager for Eddie’s reaction.

“Yeah. Feel free to buy me stuff, Stevie.” Eddie joked, trying to sound light.

Steve tilted his head.

“Maybe not ‘stuff,’ y’know?”

“Huh?” It was Eddie’s turn to look up. Across the room, Steve’s chocolate eyes were thoughtful.

“We have so much shit already, it’s gonna take forever to move out of this place. We could like, go do something? Instead of a gift exchange.”

“Do something?” Eddie parroted, ignoring his body’s twinge of excitement. Stupid to be overly eager. “Like what? Go to Taco Bell and hotbox in the parking lot? Not much to do around here.”

Steve crossed his arms, wriggled back around to face the TV.

“Lemme think on it. I dunno. But we’re friends, we should celebrate Christmas together in some way.”

The word “friends” hung in the air like an ornament on a tree. Fragile, suspended, dangling by a thin metal hook. Eddie was slowly losing his mind.

“Sure, whatever you want.” Eddie replied, beginning the other hand. He fixated on his nail polish, determined not to let his mind run.

Steve continued to channel-surf.

“And the party’s at the Byers-Hopper house, by the way, like El said. On the twenty-second. They said come over around five.”

“Oh, thanks.” Eddie nodded. “Your family doing any crazy trip, like usual, this year?”

Steve settled on some trash reality show on TLC. He pulled out his phone instead of paying attention to it.

“Yeah, we’re going skiing in Colorado.” He sighed. “Leaving on fucking Christmas Eve, and won’t be back until like, right before break is over. Can’t wait to spend Christmas morning alone, in my own giant hotel room, while they get a couple’s massage, or have hot tub mimosas, or something. But, whatever. My one cool cousin is going so it’ll be bearable I guess.”

Eddie used to be envious of Steve Harrington’s luxurious lifestyle, before he really knew the cold emptiness of it all. King Steve flaunted his money back in high school, threw ragers, bullied those deemed unworthy, because his shitty, superficial parents shouldn’t have had a kid. Because they raised him without kindness and affection.

“Well,” Eddie said gently, trying to be playful. “Scope it out. Pot’s legal there. Maybe we can move out west after graduation.”

“Yeah,” Steve scoffed. “I’ll be sure to sample the local goods beforehand.”

“There you go, and that can be my Christmas gift!”

Steve didn’t reply, mind elsewhere. He tapped away rapidly on his phone, composing one hell of a text. Maybe talking about his parents had fired him up. He was probably complaining to Robin.

Eddie let the background noise fill the space, and finished painting his nails.

***

Just like that, finals were fucking over. It took Eddie several all-nighters to finish out his projects (his classes didn’t always have exams), fueled on coffee, Red Bull, Twizzlers, Hot Pockets, and pure goddamn willpower. His back ached from craning over the dining table on his laptop, or from sitting in the shitty computer lab chairs for hours. An incessant, tiny headache continued to linger, his eyes were strained to all fuck, and his ears felt hollow without headphones, but it was all done, and he now had one semester of college left.

He was kinda proud of himself. High school Eddie would’ve never dreamed of making it this far.

Everyone else in the Party had been in the same boat, slaving away at the library, or Starbucks, or the student center, or Mike and Will’s café workplace. They had barely talked to each other, just crammed into places to study and coexisted in close proximity.

And Eddie had truthfully been too busy to even mull over the Steve Dilemma. It just festered on the backburner, definitely something that would bubble over later when he wasn’t paying close attention.

Or maybe it would conveniently go away?

(Unlikely.)

Eddie packed up his shit for a longer stay at the trailer, cleaned up the dorm, and rumbled home to Hawkins. Steve was in back-to-back exams, so he texted him that he’d see him at the Byers’ later that week.

Eddie wasn’t sure how to tell Wayne about his post-grad plans. Wayne had told Eddie he wouldn’t be upset if he turned him down on the offer, but Eddie was always afraid to disappoint. He decided to wait, to tell him after the holidays, when things were quieter.

That way they could pretend their last Christmas at home wasn’t their last.

The trailer was decorated cozily, with a lot of homemade crafts from Eddie’s elementary school years. Every variation of Santa or Rudolph made of cardboard that a teacher could come up with. A short tree nestled in the corner, by the armchair, strung with popcorn, bubble lights, and a classic, yellow star on top. Some new ornaments graced its branches, courtesy of Michelle. Freshly-wrapped presents were organized in a small pile on the lacey tree skirt, around the base. Buffalo plaid quilts covered the couch.

Wayne greeted him with a firm hug and an early “Merry Christmas, Ed,” and they watched Elf while eating Stouffer’s lasagna. Snow drifted outside, lazy and leisurely on the breeze.

***

December twenty-second brought more snow, fluffy, sticking to the ground in magnificent blankets. This wasn’t the gloomy, sluggish snow of late January, no, it was pearlescent, asking to be twinkled on by Christmas lights. This was the shit they sang about in Winter Wonderland.

Eddie slowly puttered the truck through it on the way to the Byers-Hopper household, more enjoying the sights than being cautious. They lived farther out of town, on a bigger plot of land, and everything looked sort of magical in the evening. He thought of the Forbidden Forest, holidays at Hogwarts.

Their driveway was already a puzzle of cars. Nancy’s was slotted in next to Argyle’s huge pizza van from high school. Joyce and Jonathan’s cars were lined up on the other side, beside Hopper’s police cruiser. Lucas’ blue mustang capped it off. Eddie pulled in on the end, almost in the bushes, not wanting to block anyone in.

Red and green candy-canes poked into the ground up the pathway to the house. Eddie followed them, Max’s present in hand, admiring the other icicle lights hanging from the roof, and the huge, inflatable penguin flapping by the front porch. El had definitely picked that out.

Eddie wiped his feet on the mat and knocked loudly to be heard over the music inside. Deck the Halls threatened to blow out the windows, full-volume.

Jim Hopper answered, in the ugliest sweater Eddie had ever seen. It was screen-printed, several cats flying a sleigh in place of reindeer, with little jingle bells sewed on their collars. The Santa “Claws” was a fatter cat, sitting upright with a whip.

“Munson.” He stated. Hopper chewed on one of those crunchy Snyder’s pretzel rods. Probably in lieu of a cigarette, because Joyce would yell at him.

“Chief.” Eddie saluted with a grin.

“Staying out of trouble, kid?”

“Only minor misdemeanors while I’m working on the degree. Can’t lose those scholarships.”

“Jesus Christ, get in here.” Hopper aggressively tousled his hair and shoved him through the doorframe, but he was smiling.

“Eddie!” The kids cheered, immediately dog-piling him. The living room glowed with string lights and candles. It smelled like M&M’s and Fresh Balsam. Their bristly Christmas tree shone in the front window, and the house was warm, but not stifling. Red curtains were drawn back, giving everyone a good view of the snow.

“Eddie, so good to see you, honey.” Joyce hugged him the way only a mother can, brushing smooth the curls Hopper had messed up. “Merry Christmas.”

“You guys too!”

Joyce wore an emerald green dress, with fuzzy golden tinsel zig-zagging across the front. Felt ornaments were hot-glued to it. A pipe cleaner star headband pushed back her hair.

“We’re going to Hop’s work party.” She explained, gesturing to the outfit. “Had to be festive.”

“Of course, love the handiwork.”

The rest of the group also wore varying shades of red and green. Robin stood out in blue, curled on the couch with Nancy, but her lipstick was scarlet. She waved. They both cradled wine glasses.

Eddie did his best with an old Grinch t-shirt. It was probably a size too small now, but he couldn’t let go. Dustin gave him a thumbs-up, also sporting a Grinch hoodie. Hard to go wrong with the Grinch.

Eddie placed his present for Max under the tree when the doorbell rang again.

“That’s gotta be Steve.” Will said, jumping up from the floor to answer it.

And there he was, with a shiny gift bag. Steve stood in the doorway with his own ugly sweater on; navy blue with white reindeer facing each other as if about to battle. Red checkered pattern snaked around it in lines, matching a red collar.

“There he isss!” Dustin called, rushing to crush Steve in a monster hug.

“Yeah, hey, everybody, sorry I’m late.”

“You’re not, Eddie just got here too.” Jonathan explained. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor with Argyle. They were queueing up an extensive Christmas playlist on Spotify.

“So everybody’s here?” Hopper asked, finishing off the pretzel stick. He surveyed the room. “You sad saps need more friends.”

“Dad!” El whined. She tossed a balled-up piece of wrapping paper at him. “Go to your party.”

“All right, all right.” He rolled his eyes without chagrin. “No drinking, you got it?”

“Nancy and Robin are literally already drinking.” Mike shot back. Always such a smartass.

“Loosen up, Jim.” Joyce’s eyes sparkled when she slapped his arm. “It’s Christmas.” She used him to balance, holding his elbow and clambering into a pair of slip-on boots.

“Oh, relax, you know I’m kidding. How ‘bout no puking, Michael?”

Mike’s face went beet red. That particular story had already made its way around, apparently. El and Max snickered. Lucas, unabashed, openly laughed and pointed.

“No puking in the house and no wild orgies or whatever shit you guys do at college.”

“Jim!” Joyce laughed, eyes bugging out of her head. “Um, ew, no!”

“Oh, c’mon, your son and his boyfriend live together, what do you expect—”

“We’re leaving!” Joyce shook her head rapidly, plugging her ears. “We are leaving and I don’t want to know anything! Ever! Love you all, bye!”

She hurried out the front door, tugging Hopper along with her. It closed with a silver jingle.

Mike looked like he was going to evaporate.

“What a way to start the party, huh?” Lucas egged on, throwing an arm over Mike’s shoulders.

“Anyway,” Will scratched his head. His own cheeks were pink. “There’s food and drinks in the kitchen, mom made a bunch of apps. Help yourselves.”

“I certainly will.” Dustin nodded, heading that way. Argyle pushed off the floor to follow.
“Me too, bro.” He rubbed his stomach. “I’ve got the munchies.”

Eddie watched Steve fall into conversation with Lucas, something about hockey. His belly dropped at seeing him in person after just a few days, which was annoying, because Eddie had been ignoring that thing on the corner of the stove and now it was back, full-force, suddenly.

“Eddie,” Nancy called to his right, “C’mere.”

Eddie turned, drawing his eyes off of Steve and to the pair snuggled on the couch. Maybe they were drinking sangria, because their glasses had cranberries and orange slices in them.

“Hey, Nance. Robs.”

“Do youuuu like my earrings?” Robin batted her eyelashes and swept her short hair side to side, showing off two glittering rocks. She posed like a movie star.

Eddie smiled, raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t even wait ‘til Christmas?”

“She needed something to wear tonight, obviously.”

“Right.”

“How are you doing?” Nancy inquired, catching his ringed hand in her own. “Cool nail polish, you haven’t done that in a while.” Hers, by contrast, were French with red tips, instead of white.

“Yeah,” Eddie rolled his eyes. “Chrissy says it’ll get me kissed by Christmas, maybe New Year’s.”

Nancy raised an eyebrow, opened her mouth to speak.

“Kissed?” Robin gasped instead, drink sloshing in its glass. Nancy steadied it for her. “Kissed by who?”

Fuck.

“I dunno, nobody, just, generally.” Eddie pulled his hand away lightly, stuffed them both in his pockets. “No one though. She was just dicking around.”

Robin narrowed her eyes at him, lips pursed in a thin line. She saw right through that bullshit. She knew there was somebody, but did she know who the somebody was? Eddie turned his attention to Nancy, wondering. Conveniently, she looked at Robin.

Hm.

“If I’m done being harassed, gonna get some food.” Eddie told them casually. He squeezed Nancy’s shoulder and joined the rest of the group, which had gathered in the kitchen.

To say Joyce Byers had made “a bunch of apps” was an understatement. This was a feast, prepared for warriors about to stride into battle. This was the last meal before The Battle of the Five Armies. This was a lot of fucking food and two different flavors of pie.

Eddie was loading up his plate when a strong hand patted his back.

“Hey.” Steve greeted, not into his ear, but close to his ear, just back from his shoulder. Thank God for his leather jacket, because Eddie’s forearms raced with goosebumps.

“Hey, Stevie.” Eddie tilted his head to look at Steve, then startled by his closeness, the immediate desire to touch the twin freckles on his cheek. The kitchen was small, everybody cramped together. Eddie quickly got back at his scoop of spinach artichoke dip.

“Last final go good?” Steve asked, making normal, regular conversation. Like a normal, regular person would.

Eddie continued to pile on spinach artichoke dip. It was, like, way too much spinach artichoke dip now, a ridiculous portion, but he needed to busy himself. If he looked at Steve again he’d touch those goddamn freckles.

“Yeah! Glad it’s over. I lined up next semester to be easier. Smooth sailing to the finish line. You?”

“Yeah, I—you—you hungry, dude?” Steve actually laughed at him, puzzled at the ridiculous mound of dip. Like, comical. Eddie shoved the serving spoon back into the dish a little too hard and wrenched a handful of tortilla chips from the bag.

Now all he could think of was being kissed by Christmas.

“Starving.”

“Okay, well, I’ll let you to it then.” Steve smirked and tapped his shoulder blade again, this time softer. Though, to Eddie, it felt like Steve had pulled his hand back far and slapped it, stinging red-hot.

Eddie snatched a hard apple cider from the fridge and two napkins, and then plopped on the floor next to Dustin, El, and Max at the coffee table.

“…And Suzie agrees, that going to a central location from here to Utah for spring break would be easier, so, yeah, maybe like, Kansas?”

“Dustin, please don’t take your girlfriend to Kansas for spring break.” Max sighed. She peeled apart string cheese to eat with red grapes. “Literally go anywhere else.”

“What’s wrong with Kansas?!” He squawked.

“I don’t think there’s anything there, man.” Eddie laughed lightly, shaking his head. He began to dig into his atrocious pile of dip. El scrunched her eyebrows at it, but didn’t say anything.

“Oh, okay, then where would you guys go? Hm? If you have better opinions.”

“California.” Max answered with a shrug. No question about it.

“I do think California would be cool.” El agreed. “Or perhaps Alaska. I hear it is very beautiful.”
“I don’t even know, dude.” Eddie chuckled. “Can’t think that far ahead.”

“It’s three months? Well you’d better get to thinking, it’s gonna come quick. It’s your last spring break, Eddie, you gotta do something cool before you’re forever bound by capitalism.” Dustin tipped his nose up. “And I don’t care what it is, it won’t be cooler than Kansas; me and Suzie are gonna have a goddamn good time.”

Eddie rolled his eyes and smirked, continuing to eat. Everything was coming quick. Three months ‘til spring break and five months until the being bound by capitalism thing.

The group talked and goofed off, rotating spots to converse with everyone. It was a scene-from-a-cheesy-movie kind of night. Mario Kart did ensue as well, which Dustin got blue-shelled in so many times that he gave up. Lucas took home the gold, and Will came in close second.

When the clock struck ten, they decided to swap for Secret Santa.

Opening gifts in front of other people always made Eddie uncomfortable, but he humored the Party. It was an individual rotation, each person having the spotlight for a minute or two. (Mostly because the kids always asked to see everything.)

When it was Eddie’s turn to receive a gift, El picked up the Santa hat and tugged it onto her head. She smiled impishly and presented him with a tiny blue and silver box, tied precisely with a white bow. He unwrapped it while Feliz Navidad played in the background.

Inside the box, settled carefully in tissue paper, were two bracelets; one a braided black leather, and the other a thin string, adorned with glossy glass beads bunched together.

“There are twelve beads.” El explained shyly. She touched Eddie’s hand. “One for each of us. So we are always with you.”

And if that didn’t hit Eddie like a fucking truck.

He held in sniffles, blinked hard, and pushed them onto his wrist. El helped him adjust the knots.

“El, that’s seriously so sweet.” The two of them hugged close. She smelled like peppermint from an extreme intake of candy canes. “Thank you.”

“You’re gonna make me fucking cry!” Robin wailed, fanning her face.

“I wish we were all the same grade, man.” Lucas pouted. “You guys should stay at college forever.”

“Ain’t that the dream?” Eddie sighed. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Steve’s caramel gaze. Behind it, unspoken, a question; when should they tell them? When should they tell their best friends they were leaving?

Destination: unknown, but decision made otherwise.

Steve looked away, not unkindly. Just away. That said, “Not today.”

So they finished divvying out Secret Santa. Max loved her new skateboard wheels, polished and red, with black skulls stamped on them. Steve gave Jonathan a vintage vinyl. The other presents were primarily Dungeons and Dragons related, barring a teapot for Nancy, hairclips for El, a pastel tumbler for Robin, and a visor for Argyle.

Wrapping paper, ribbons, and bows littered the floor. Will started to collect them, mentioned something about a cool Christmas collage. They all crammed on the couch for pictures, and then the night dissolved into TikTok dances, cinnamon Fireball shots, and a raunchy game of Cards Against Humanity thanks to Max’s expansion deck.

It was beautiful, cozy, full of love, and accompanied by every Christmas song known to man. Eddie didn’t eat much more than spinach artichoke dip and pie, but it was one of the best nights he’d had in a while.

By twelve-thirty, all the kids staying over changed into comfy pajamas and settled down to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas. Argyle and Jonathan waved and slipped out the back sliding-glass door, wiggling a joint to Eddie and Steve on the downlow. Eddie politely declined, he was tired. Steve shook his head too.

Nancy had to take Robin home, so the two of them slipped on their shoes and coats as well.

“Will can bring me home tomorrow.” Mike told her, already half-asleep on his shoulder. Max and Lucas were knocked out too, El not far behind. It seemed that only Dustin and Will were invested in the movie.

“Okay, that’s fine.” Nancy kissed the top of Mike’s head. “See you tomorrow.”

“Guess I’ll head out too.” Eddie toed into his boots. “Hope the roads aren’t icy as fuck.”

“Yeah, me too.” Steve grabbed his keys, started to follow him, Robin, and Nancy out the door. They all called “good night,” and “Merry Christmas” but didn’t hear much back. It was sweet; a bunch of bear cubs hibernating.

The cold bit them outside, clear in the winter night. The snow flurries had almost subsided, with just a few flakes left traveling on the wind. Eddie’s shoes crunched in the topmost layer.

“So pretty.” Robin noted, eyes up to the stars. A cloudless sky gave way to hundreds of constellations, out here in the countryside.

“Wow. Yeah.” Steve breathed, blurring the air around him. He looked up too, neck stretched, revealed under the collar of his chaotic sweater. Eddie wanted to call him “so pretty” too. “I think I see Big Dipper? Maybe?”

They admired the sky, for a minute, while Eddie admired Steve.

“That was so much fun.” Nancy finally broke the quiet, pulling Eddie into a hug. She went on her tiptoes to loop around his neck and he was grateful she didn’t make a joke about his staring. “Maybe we can all hang out before break is over.”

Steve grumbled, back to reality. “I can’t, we’re doing a family vacation. But I’ll catch up after, no worries.”

“Love you, dingus.” Robin stole Steve for a hug now. They glued together like they were made of the same body, and Eddie ignored a weird twinge of stupid, pointless jealousy. “Don’t break your leg skiing.”

“I’ll try not to. I love you too.”

They switched, Robin hugging Eddie, and Nancy hugging Steve, and then the girls went on their jolly way.

“That’s okay. We’ll plan something after then. Have a good Christmas, guys!” Nancy exclaimed, climbing into her car. Robin kicked her shoes off on the side and hurried into the passenger door. She bunched her jacket around her torso like a burrito, obviously freezing.

“Welp,” Eddie said, once the car finally backed out. He and Steve had lingered, watching them go. “Like Robin said, don’t break any bones, Stevie.”

“I actually—I don’t leave until the day after tomorrow, on Christmas Eve.” Steve kicked the snow, little bits flying. He hugged himself in the chill. “Do you wanna, like, do something tomorrow?”

“Oh, right, our Taco Bell hotbox.” Eddie joked, mouth sloping upwards. He didn’t let himself get too excited. If Eddie recalled, Steve had said they were “best friends” and had never gotten each other Christmas gifts, and that they should celebrate “as friends.” That was this proposal.

Even if he’d worn a Get-Laid shirt. Even if he’d do anything for Eddie. Even if his lips looked so fucking kissable right now that it was making Eddie sick.

(Or, maybe that was like, an obscene amount of spinach artichoke dip in his stomach.)

Because those were things that were both friendship-based and/or coincidental.

Steve laughed, bright like jingle bells. Like the scene from Polar Express where the CGI kid could hear the bell for the first time. When he smiled, it warmed Eddie head to toe.

Steve rolled his shoulders. “I have an idea that’s maybe cooler than that.”

“Steve, have you had their Crunchwrap Supreme? Nothing is cooler.”

“Hmm, I’m more of a Nachos BellGrande kinda guy.”

Eddie shifted his weight. “Yeah, yeah, I know, no beans, extra beef and tomato.”

Steve lifted his foot, very gently kicked Eddie in the shin. “Anyway, you busy or no? Or are you gonna keep crapping on my Taco Bell order?”

Eddie held his breath in that moment, in the frost and the radiance of Christmas lights. He wanted to hug Steve, the way he hugged himself now, and shield him from the cold.

But he didn’t, kept his hands tucked into his front jacket pockets. He wondered if anyone was watching them, from inside the house.

“I am not busy, Stevie. What time? What place? Text me the address and I can meet whenever. Also if this is just the Hawkins movie theater I’m gonna shake my head at you. All they play this week is Frosty the Snowman on repeat.”

“Fuck, no, I hate that movie. How ‘bout I just pick you up? It’s on the way.”

“Yeah, that’s—that’s fine. Sure.” Eddie nodded. “I can Venmo you some gas money, is it, like, far? I can’t think of a single thing in Hawkins that’s cool where my house is also on the way.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but Steve only narrowed his back.

“Shut up and just, like, be ready at two. Don’t worry about gas, man.”

“Fine. I won’t.”

“Good.”

Steve straightened, finally let go of himself to dig his car keys out of his jeans. He unlocked the BMW with a flash of headlights.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then. I’ll text you when I’m headed your way.”

“Sounds good.” Eddie rocked back on his heels with a downward tilt of his head.

“Cool. All right, well, drive safe, Eds. I’m gonna get outta here.”

And then Steve hugged him goodbye.

It was all in one motion, so unexpected, so sudden, and Eddie had to quickly tug his hands free from his pockets to hug Steve back. He analyzed the fabric of the ridiculous reindeer sweater, charted the slope of Steve’s vertebrae. He inhaled the scent of him, savored the feel of him, memorized how his palms felt against Eddie’s spine. He could’ve outlined each fingerprint, wanted it tattooed on his skin.

And it was over just as fast. He prayed to anyone listening that Steve hadn’t felt his heart, hammering wildly, when they had been chest to chest.

“Drive safe too.” Eddie saluted, trying to front being casual. Steve didn’t need to know, could not know, how much one simple hug had affected him.

“For sure. Night, Eddie!” Steve tapped his shoulder and turned, slid into his car. Eddie did the same, on complete autopilot. He ran around his own head like a little carousel, blinking.

The truck dashboard read one-oh-two AM, but Eddie knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep when he got home.

***

Twelve hours later, one-oh-two PM, Eddie had the fucking jitters. It was dumb, because they were just gonna go hang out somewhere. If it wasn’t a Taco Bell then Eddie guessed it was a Wendy’s, because Hawkins didn’t have much else to offer. After the mall burned down in high school, nothing else had really populated in Smalltown, U.S.A.. Some cities grew, like Orlando, Florida, or Washington, D.C., where Hawkins dwindled.

Wayne had made a big deal about him “hanging out” with Steve. Had elbowed Eddie a bunch and raised his eyebrows. But Eddie shot him down and shoved him back good-naturedly on his way out the door. (Wayne was working a double today, to be off for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.)

So Eddie sat alone, twiddling his thumbs, continuously checking out the window for a familiar car, even though Steve had said he’d message when he was on the way.

And around one-forty, the blessed text arrived.

On my way!, see you soon

Eddie wore down the trailer floor in the sixteen minutes that followed. He checked his hair, his breath, his clothes, his fucking shoelaces. Paced in circles.

Despite the casual nature of the hangout that he kept mentally enforcing, he still wanted to look nice. Eddie picked steely gray jeans, without holes in them, his boots, and a white hoodie with an illustrated raven on the front. He slapped on extensive deodorant, his signature rings, and the new bracelets from El. Eddie changed once, and then ended up changing back into the original outfit.

And at that point Steve was outside.

His phone pinged, and the words Im here rocked Eddie to the core.

He snagged his wallet and keys, and fucked up trying to lock the door not once, but two times.

Steve’s BMW purred in front of the house, always looking sleek. There was a glare on the front window, so he couldn’t see Steve’s face, but Eddie waved and tracked over to the passenger side.

“Hey, man.” Eddie said as he climbed into the car. The cabin was already warm, heated seat turned on.

“Hey. How’s it goin’?”

Steve smiled softly, looking serene in a yellow sweater and a black Patagonia jacket. Classic American Boy blue jeans. The interior of his car smelled like him, tight and contained, and the leather was smooth, and the radio hummed with quiet Christmas tunes.

Eddie let himself inhale, because he was just breathing, it wasn’t his fault the entire space smelled like Steve. He wasn’t being creepy, it was literally just the air around him. He had no other choice.

Didn’t mean it wasn’t fucking delicious.

“Good, crazy it’s still snowing some.” Eddie commented, while buckling up.

“I know, right? White Christmas this year.”

Steve twisted in the driver’s seat to reverse out, leaving his left hand on the wheel and propping his right onto Eddie’s seat. His pinky brushed Eddie’s shoulder. In concentration, Steve’s tongue poked out the tiniest bit.

Eddie watched him finesse the turn, watched his knuckles flex, watched his chin twitch as he tilted his head. He watched the way the seatbelt squished Steve’s sweater snugly to his chest. And then quickly peeled his eyes off when Steve righted himself to drive.

For curiosity’s sake, he pulled out his phone, typed a quick text to Nancy.

Theoretically. Yellow sweater. Get laid sweater??

He was hoping for an immediate answer, but Nancy didn’t come through.

“So where we going, hm?” Eddie asked, drumming on his thighs. He was twitchy, clouded by the scent of Steve. His ass was already hot from the seat warmer. And that was weird.

“You’ll see when we get there. It’s cool.” Steve watched the road determinedly, eventually driving past the "Welcome to Hawkins" sign.

Suspicious.

“Ugh, fine. Keep your secrets.”

Meanwhile, Eartha Kitt crooned Santa Baby over the speakers. Why was that song so goddamn seductive? Eddie raked his eyes over Steve’s body, while she sang, “Think of all the fellas that I haven’t kissed,” and it made him even hotter.

Eddie shifted in his seat.

“So, you sort of excited for Colorado?” Eddie asked, purely to make conversation and think of something other than hurrying down Steve’s chimney tonight.

“Yeah, it’ll be fun, I guess.” Steve shrugged with one shoulder. “I’ve never been. And I do like skiing, and I know the mountains will be pretty and all that stuff. Just would like, rather be here, honestly. With everybody.”

Steve’s eyes flicked over. “I’ve always wanted to do the Christmas party with everyone on actual Christmas day. Like, us all do our own thing. And then I don’t even have to deal with my parents.”

“Well, you’re welcome at the Munson residence any time, Stevie.” Maybe that had been an overstep, but Eddie didn’t care. He meant it. “And when we have our place next year we can do whatever we want.”

Their place. Still just an idea, a concept, but one they’d solidify in the coming months.

Eddie had to shift again. Now was really not the fucking time to get hard.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Steve grinned. “We can leave Christmas lights up all year long.”

“Sure.”

“And everyone can visit whenever they want.”

“Absolutely.”

“So we need to pick somewhere cool. The ultimate summer break destination.”

“Speaking of,” Eddie laughed, “Please have a chat with Dustin, because he wants to take Suzie to fucking Kansas for spring break.”

They fell into the best burn session after that, through mutual love of Dustin and making fun of him. Eddie was finally starting to relax when the tires rolled up to an unfamiliar place.

They were on a woodsy road, unmarked but for a huge wooden sign hanging from two tall poles. Painted in neat red and green calligraphy were the words "Saint Nick’s Tree Farm."

“Whoa, what’s this?” Eddie asked, leaning forward to get a better view. A couple cars quietly trundled up the path ahead of them. Steve maneuvered after them.

“Oh, shit, we’re going here?”

“Yeah.” Steve’s voice was self-conscious. “I thought it would be nice, I usually stop by every year. It’s more than just, like trees. Whole holiday fest kinda thing.—But we can also just go to Taco Bell if that sounds more your speed right now.”

“No, no.” Eddie craned to peer up at the towering firs, now lining each side of the road in straight lines. “This is awesome. Here, totally.”

“Sweet.”

They found a parking spot in a huge field with dozens of other cars. Mostly families with kids meandered towards the entrance, all dressed in merry attire.

“So,” Steve and Eddie fell into step, marching through cottony snow. It packed down they closer they got. “They have it all decorated, like, y’know, Christmas trees. The hot chocolate is the best I’ve ever had, too, so we definitely need to get some. And there are horse-drawn sleigh rides and fucking reindeers.”

“No.” Eddie did a double take. “Real ones?”

“Yeah, you can feed them carrots, and oats, and everything.”

“Steve, this is sick.” Eddie bounced their shoulders together. “Really good idea, seriously. I’ve always wanted to pet a reindeer!”

“Ha, thanks. Yeah, they’re soft. Kinda feel like an old carpet.”

“So you come here every year?”

They joined the line to enter, flagged on each side by inflatable cartoon elves. Snowmen had been balled up at the ticket booth, where a snowman family swapped prop presents.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Steve passed the friendly-looking man at the booth a ten, gesturing to both himself and Eddie before Eddie could bat an eye. He led Eddie into the courtyard with a hand on his shoulder blades. It fell quickly, but left a poignant echo.

“I brought Dustin, Lucas, and Max last year, they thought it was great. Pretty sure Dustin had an allergic reaction to the reindeer though.”

“Jesus.”

“So hopefully that doesn’t happen to you.”

Eddie took in their surroundings. Amidst very lightly-falling snow, employees in red and gold outfits took family pictures on professional cameras. Different areas were set up for photo ops: The North Pole, Santa’s Workshop, Mrs. Claus’ Bakery. The entire courtyard was fanned by fir trees of varying sizes, all gilded with string lights and tinsel. Lights hung everywhere, actually, twinkling in amber-white and multicolor. Even in the late afternoon, they stood out.

A food truck was parked in the middle, advertising, “The World’s Best Hot Chocolate.” Three other cobblestone paths branched on each side, leading to “Reindeer Stables,” “A One-Horse Open Sleigh,” and, less excitingly, bathrooms.

“This is so cool.” Eddie gaped, starry-eyed. “Who knew something like this was right outside of Hawkins?”

Steve looked around with the same wonder. He smiled at a group of children tossing weak snowballs and cheering.

“Mom and Dad took me here when I was super little, every year up to six or seven. And then that stopped, but, once I could drive I just brought myself.”

Eddie added another bullet point to his long list of reasons for hating Steve’s parents. He didn’t let the sad moment linger.

“Well, let’s get that hot cocoa. My fucking fingers are gonna fall off.”

“Oh, yeah.”

They tagged onto the end of the line, behind two large, loud families. Made small talk about their favorite Christmas songs.

(Eddie liked Jingle Bell Rock, the Bobby Helms version, and Steve was partial to Last Christmas by Wham!)

“You would pick that, you cheesy bitch.” Eddie laughed as they finally got to the window. A sweet, round-faced woman with white hair smiled at them.

“Hi, boys, what can I get for you?”

Eddie shouldered in front of Steve, pulling out his wallet before Steve could. He wasn’t going to let him pay again. “Two hot chocolates please.”

The woman frowned sympathetically. She angled her head down.

“I am so sorry, honey, we just sold out a few minutes ago. I’ve still got tea and coffee though.”

“Oh, man.” Steve grumbled behind him. “That sucks, sorry, Eds.”

“Nah, it’s all right.” Eddie flipped out some bills and presented them to the employee. “Two coffees then, please. Cream and sugar.”

About a minute later the two steaming styrofoam cups were in hand.

“Hey, coffee’s just as good.” Eddie passed Steve his.

“But it’s totally not, like it’s the best hot cocoa in the world. That’s a giant bummer.”

“Well, the petting zoo will make up for it.” Eddie sipped the scalding liquid, winced at the temperature, as they walked away from the food truck.

“That’s true.—God, this is hot.” Steve smacked his lips together. “Just burned the roof of my mouth.”

“Better than cold, I guess.”

They hung out in the courtyard for a few minutes, appreciating the sights, before ambling towards the reindeer path.

“Okay, so, we did favorite Christmas songs,” Steve pondered, “What about Christmas movies?”

“Oh, man, that’s a loaded question, Stevie.” Eddie looked down at his footprints, making defined marks on the trail. He tried to step into the ones of people before them. “I’d probably have to say—shit!”

One of the rambunctious kids sidelined him, completely knocking Eddie backwards off his feet. He toppled onto his ass, hit his tailbone hard on the frozen ground, and popped the lid off his drink in the process. The boiling hot coffee splashed into the air, a moment frozen in time, and waterfalled all over Eddie’s crisp, white hoodie.

“Oh, ouch.” He hissed, dropping the cup to pull the fabric off his abdomen. It was already stained, splotched ugly and brown. Steam wafted into the air.

“I’m so sorry, mister!” The little boy screeched. “It was an accident!”

“Oh, my God!” An angry, middle-aged mom stormed over. “I told you to stop running. Look what you did! That’s so rude!” She shouted at her son and pointed at Eddie, ears turning red.

“It’s fine, really. I’m good.” Eddie insisted, more embarrassed that anything now that more people were looking, curious. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Oh, he needs to worry about it. Santa is watching.” The woman snatched her crying son by the arm and thundered off, not sparing another backward glance.

Steve swooped in right away, grabbing Eddie’s arms to haul him back up. He was so strong, it was easy for him.

“You okay? Man, she could’ve at least offered to buy you another coffee. Let me?”

“I’m fine, don’t really wanna risk that again.” Eddie laughed lightly. “More annoyed about my hoodie. It’s trashed.”

Eddie pinched the hem, pulled it away from his skin. It was starting to cool in the frigid air already, but was getting crunchy and weird.

“You got anything in your car or something?” He asked Steve.

“Here, just—” Steve unzipped his Patagonia jacket and wiggled his arms out of it. “I’ve got an undershirt, I’m good.”

And then Steve whipped off his yellow sweater, right there in public (like, yeah, he had an undershirt on, but he was stripping, right there, fuck), and handed it to Eddie, balled up.

“Ah, Steve, you don’t have to—”

“Just take it, I don’t have anything else and you can’t wear that. I’m not cold.”

Eddie did so, carefully, like it was a ticking time-bomb. As soon as he did, Steve got back into his jacket.

“Okay, okay.” Eddie conceded. “I don’t have an undershirt, so, I’ll be right back.”

Eddie left Steve there in limbo, to finish his coffee. He chucked his own empty cup in the garbage can on the way to the bathroom, completely frazzled. That had been so embarrassing.

Eddie shed off his ruined hoodie and dumped it in the bin, shirtless in the cold, narrow stall. But putting on Steve’s own sweater felt like it was going to be a religious experience. He just stared at it, apprehensive. He took that moment to check his phone again, see if anything had come from Nancy.

His stomach bottomed out when he read, in all caps, YES!!!

Oh, fuck, oh fuck.

Mixed signal central struck again and all of Eddie’s wires were crossed. He was gonna be sick and this time it wasn’t from spinach artichoke dip.

He fumbled on Steve’s sweater quickly, fully overwhelmed by the smell of him, even stronger than in the car. It gave Eddie a headrush. He adjusted the collar and the sleeves, carefully laid the hem in place.

In the mirror, he looked good in yellow. His heart fluttered.

(Eddie would be lying if he said he didn’t take a fast selfie, to forever stay in his Hidden photos album.)

He hurried back to Steve, not wanting to make him wait long. He was in the same spot, now sans coffee too, with his hands in his pockets. When Eddie approached, Steve shot him a cheeky grin.

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you in such a bright color.”

“I feel like a fucking mustard packet.”

“Nah, looks nice.” Steve turned, for Eddie to follow.

Nice?

“Let’s go pet some reindeer now.”

They trekked down the long walkway, crowded by string lights, to a tall, wooden stable collecting snow. It had nine individual stalls, full of mushy hay, with the name tag of each reindeer nailed to each swinging door. The families here all mingled along the sides, taking pictures and laughing, but not a reindeer was in sight.

A lone employee with a giant broom swept out the stalls, pushing debris into a contractor bag.

“Uh, hi, excuse me?” Steve stepped up to the man, giving his charming Harrington smile. “Are the reindeer…on break? Or?”

The man smiled, boomed out a genuine laugh.

“No, sorry, kid.” He responded, leaning on his hefty push broom. “Christmas Eve is tomorrow, they all had to go back to the North Pole with Santa to get ready to deliver the presents.”

Steve’s expression slipped. He looked defeated.

“O-oh.” He said back.

“Well,” The man’s voice dropped to a whisper. “The farmer who owns ‘em took ‘em home to his grandkids this morning. Sorry ‘bout that.”

Steve sighed heavily, but didn’t warp into being rude. He slapped his smile back on, appealing.

“That’s okay! We’ll just go across to the horse-drawn sleigh. Thank you!”

“Uh, well,” The man sucked his teeth. “Unfortunately, the farmer owns the horse too. So no rides today, either. But, you can still go there for a photo op. They dressed it up real pretty.”

Steve blinked. “Okay. Sounds good, thank you.”

Then he turned on his heel, and strode back the way they came. Eddie struggled to keep up.

“Steve—hey, geez! Slow down.” He huffed and jogged to catch him.

Steve was red-faced, from the chill and from frustration. Eddie caught his sleeve.

“I don’t wanna leave yet, it’s nice here. We can just take a walk?”

Late afternoon sun dipped low, slanting orange between the trees. Christmas music crackled over loudspeakers. All the lights flickered pleasantly between mellow snowflakes.

Steve didn’t speak, and then finally hung his head. “Yeah, okay. Let’s go this way.”

He veered off the beaten path, away from the courtyard, into the maze of firs. The Christmas lights continued to stretch even this far out. Every now and then they could hear voices, other brave explorers in the unknown. Despite the adventure, Steve looked low.

“Hey, Steve.” Eddie spoke up, once they’d been walking in the quiet for a few minutes. “It’s really fine, like, seeing reindeer or going on a sleigh ride would’ve been cool or whatever, but I had a nice time just coming here. I appreciate the thought. I’m having fun.—Coffee spill and all.”

Steve made a noncommittal noise and dredged through the snow. No Nikes today, he was in Cole Haan boots. His hair bounced with each step.

“I’m serious, dude.” Eddie threw an arm out, stopping him in his tracks. Steve’s chest bumped Eddie’s forearm, then he sliced his eyes over. Either Eddie was imagining things, or his gaze wandered down, down, down, then back up, to Eddie’s face.

Eddie swallowed.

“Like, stop looking so sad.” Eddie tried to laugh.

“I just—,” Steve started, interrupted himself with an immense, ragged breath. He gathered himself and squeezed his eyes shut.

“I just feel bad that this is probably the shittiest date you’ve ever been on.”

…

…What?

Eddie flatlined.

He died, struck by lightning, impaled by a rogue icicle, melted by scorching coffee, run over by a reindeer, frozen by freak snowstorm, nuclear weapon to the chest cavity—he was deceased.

“…Date?” He parroted stupidly. Eddie’s mouth was full of sand. “This…this is a date?”

Steve immediately balked, the void of fear swelling in his eyes. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water.

“It—it doesn’t have to be, it’s—I think I completely misread…lemme just—I can take you home, okay? Let’s just go home. Or like, you can Uber? I’ll—just go.”

“No!” Eddie gasped, grabbing Steve’s bicep before he could dart. “Wait a—just wait a second, fucking Christ—this is actually a date? Like, not a friends thing?”

Steve’s face turned impossibly pinker, making his freckles stand out. He shone in the lights around them, framing him like a halo.

“I-I thought that was obvious? Like—I don’t mean that in a dick way I just thought you knew…? But like, apparently not, so,” Steve scrubbed his forehead roughly, “I feel fucking stupid, let’s just forget this, okay? It’s not—”

“Steve, I don’t want to forget this, okay? Stop. I-I would…love for this to be a date, I just didn’t, like, know? Like we’ve established. I’m—I didn’t know, I just thought we were hanging out but I…a date is…good.”

Steve visibly held his breath. Exhaled.

“Good?” He repeated.

“…Yeah.”

They stared at each other, locked into a magnetic standoff. Eddie felt himself tremble, ankles to ears.

“But, I just,” Eddie felt himself say, more than heard. His ears whooshed. “I’m confused? W-When I called you hot on the roof, at the frat party, you like lost your shit, man.”

“Yeah because I thought you were joking!” Steve rebutted, eyebrows suddenly snaring down. He wore a small frown. “I thought you were kidding so I was gonna ask, I guess, and then Dustin and the kids came, so we didn’t get to, and right after that you said you were joking, so I just…let it go. And then you avoided me for a week.”

“What?” Eddie exclaimed, “No you avoided me for a week.”

Steve threw his hands up in the air. “Whatever, we, like, avoided each other. But then we—we had that phone call on Thanksgiving, I just wanted to talk to you, and things felt…different?”

Steve faced him now, they faced each other, breaths apart. Steve’s hands hung limply at his sides, and Eddie’s quivered against his pockets. His world was overhauling itself. Total reset.

“I felt like some switch flipped and we were like, flirting? Or something? And then you—when I was crying, you asked me to move in with you. After school. Like, Jesus, Eds, I thought that was a clear sign of something. S-so I…pursued, I dunno.”

Eddie couldn’t form words. His heart threatened to pound through his ribcage. It kept cracking the bones. He felt so lame, Steve was pouring his heart out and he was paralyzed.

“Maybe it was stupid, like, you could’ve just meant as roommates because we are good roommates but it felt like more, and at the Grin and Tonic you seemed so, so…”

Steve struggled to pick a word, hands gesturing wildly.

“Into you?” Eddie suggested finally, voice almost breaking.

“Into me.” Steve laughed a little, scratched the back of his neck. “So I like, kept buying you drinks, and flirted more, and Jason pissed me off so bad, and then we were dancing and it was like, I felt it. But then you were all weird the next day and skipped the name drawing so, I dunno. This was my last-ditch effort to figure out if it was all in my head or not. And at the Christmas Party I kept catching you with this look in your eye. But today sucked!”

“Steve, no.” Eddie wailed, “Today didn’t suck at all, this was so—,”

He looked around wildly, at the splendor around them, at Steve radiant like an angel among the stars. He flashed back to the aforementioned night on the roof, to watching him last night in the Byers-Hopper driveway, chin tipped up to the heavens.

Steve Harrington was so beautiful that it ached.

“I like you, Steve. A lot, okay? It’s not in your head.” Eddie’s voice shook. “I thought it—”

Eddie clutched the hem of the sweater for purchase, to cling hopefully to reality. The bright yellow fabric bunched in his ringed hands. He shook his head at the irony.

“I thought it was all in my head, but, like, here you are giving me your Get Laid Sweater—”

“My…what?”

Eddie sailed over it. Conversation for later.

“I kept being weird because I was scared. I would’ve rather…” The back of Eddie’s throat stung. “I didn’t want to risk it.”

Steve watched him, measuring, face breaking into something that looked like pain, in tandem with relief.

“I-I would’ve rather lived with you, as many more years as I could, until you found somebody else. I would’ve rather just been near you, happy to be your friend, than have admitted my feelings and lost you.”

“Eds.” Steve whispered.

“I’m serious. I was just gonna keep pushing it down, I didn’t know—I mean I had some ideas, but I was too scared. Nancy kept pushing me, Chrissy—even Wayne pushed me! They told me to just talk to you, but I didn’t want to lose you, Steve. Fuck that.”

Steve groaned, rubbed his face until the skin stretched. Tiny snowflakes littered his hair. “Robin’s been pushing me.”

“God, fuck. These conspirators. We were blind.” Eddie hid his face too. Their feelings had been glaringly obvious to everyone but each other. “I’m sorry, Steve, I should’ve just—I feel so…”

Strong hands found his wrists, lightly pulled them down. Steve’s brown eyes bore into him, burning. Eddie remembered dancing, remembered the heat between them. Whitney Houston nailing the chorus.

“So, we’re idiots. Yeah. Agreed.” Steve muttered, gaze unflinching. His fingertips were at Eddie’s pulse points, and there was no way he didn’t feel the rapid-fire thrumming this time. “…Should we stop being idiots? Do you want to? Maybe?”

Ooooooohhhh, fuck.

Eddie tried not to fucking swoon.

“I’ve…been into you for years, Steve. Like, most of college. I’d love to stop being idiots…” Eddie blinked. “Is this shit real? Am I on a trip?”

“I don’t think so, unless they drugged the fuck out of that coffee.”

“I barely had any.”

“So probably not.”

They were entwined in each other’s eyes for a moment longer, and then Steve enveloped him in a hug.

Gentle, intimate in a way they’d never been before. Closer. Not physically, literally closer, but…so much closer.

Eddie’s breath hitched, caught when Steve burrowed his forehead into Eddie’s jaw. One hand cradled his waist, just above Eddie’s belt, and the other supported the nape of his neck, featherlight, tenderly tangling into Eddie’s hair. And Eddie was enclosed in the middle, both palms on Steve’s chest, feeling his muscle, his rabbiting heartbeat.

They held each other, swaying in the snow, for what felt like ages. Eddie couldn’t stop shaking, anxiety and high-adrenaline mingling to make a fun cocktail in his veins.

“I guess it’s getting dark.” Steve eventually murmured. He pulled back, and Eddie was cold.

The sun had set, meaning Christmas lights were their only guidance back. A group of rowdy teenagers was cackling nearby, but Eddie couldn’t think of anything other than Steve, still an inch away.

“…Can I…hold your hand? On the way back?” Steve asked, then cleared his throat. “You can also say ‘no,’ I know that like, people—I’m trying to be more brave, about the bisexual thing, but—”

“Yeah, you can.” Eddie wiggled his fingers.

This was definitely a fucking fever dream.

Steve’s tanner hand dipped down, picked up one of Eddie’s in his own. He traced over Eddie’s rings and the valleys between his knuckles. Eddie begged his racing heart to still. Steve laced their fingers together and very slowly started to walk back in the direction of the courtyard.

Eddie couldn’t believe he could remain standing.

Steve Harrington was holding his hand and taking a leisurely winter wonderland stroll with him. They didn’t speak, just kept dashing looks at each other between snowflakes. Steve’s face was the best kind of red.

“…How long have you, like, been into me too?” Eddie finally broke the quiet. He tried to memorize the look of their linked hands. Steve’s thumb made tiny, shy circles.

“For the record, I also think you’re hot. Guess I didn’t say that.” Steve smirked. His gaze dragged over Eddie again, focusing heavily on the yellow sweater. “And I’ve thought you were hot since I met you, but I didn’t know what to do about that as a pseudo straight guy…I’ve always liked you. But last summer it was more…pronounced. Actually let myself think it.”

Eddie hummed back, trying to fight the warmth that flooded stomach when he imagined Steve thinking it. What had Steve done, to let himself think it?

“I’m glad you did.”

“Me too.”

They flowed back into jittery silence, fingers constantly tapping or brushing each other. A little game of tag. The Christmas music droned, eventually fuzzing out, and Steve led them back to the parking lot through a different route that skipped the courtyard completely.

“Can’t believe you didn’t realize this was a date, man.” Steve laughed lightly, letting free of Eddie’s hand to actually open his goddamn car door. “Romantic ass place for ‘just friends.’”

Eddie playfully poked him in the side, pleased when Steve didn’t wince away. He shifted into the passenger seat and Steve half-jogged to the other side.

“My masculinity is not so fragile that I think two men can’t enjoy hot cocoa, reindeer, and sleigh rides together, Steve.”

“Sounds like shit Robin would say.”

“She’s a good influence.”

“Sure she is.”

Steve revved on the car and adjusted all the right settings, immediately warming them up and defrosting the front window. Baby It’s Cold Outside serenaded through the speakers.

“I guess I should get home soon.—I don’t want to, at all, but I have to pack for the stupid trip.” Steve tapped the steering wheel before putting the car into drive. He pulled out onto the main road.

“It’s okay, I get it…Wish you didn’t have to too, kinda sucks that we figure our shit out and then you have to go on a weeks-long vacation, but. Beggars can’t be choosers?”

Steve’s hand slid from the center console onto Eddie’s thigh; delicate, motionless, leaving room to be swatted away in case Eddie didn’t like that.

But Eddie tried not to have another heart attack, tried not to tent his pants, and then gently put his own hand on top. Steve’s skin twinged in response.

“I’d like to be a chooser.” Steve smirked.

And then Eddie spent a good fifteen minutes trying to unpack those layers. Trying to avoid a raging boner while Steve held his thigh, the entire ride home. He simply could not relax, electrified. And judging by how Steve kept twitching, he was electrified too.

The rest of the trip was pretty quiet, an occasional remark about the song on the radio or the trip, or Christmas plans, but the sexual tension was actually literally making it hard to breathe. Eddie had never been so horny in his goddamn life. Now he was wearing the Get Laid Sweater, and what did that insinuate?

He cursed internally when they pulled back into the trailer park. Imagination was one thing and execution was another entirely.

Steve got out of the car with him, walked him the few short feet to the front door.

“Um, so, this is like, such a weird place to leave off.” Steve awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “I won’t have a lot of service or reception in Colorado, but, I know you like to worry—just please know it’s only because of that if I can’t talk. Okay? I really wanna, like…do this, when I’m home. This ‘us’ thing.”

It was Eddie’s turn to blush. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, no shit.” Steve laughed. He straightened Eddie’s collar, eyes soft. “I’ll let you borrow this, while I’m gone. Then it’s mine again.”

“Mm, no, Harrington, this has been rehomed.”

“We have the same home.”

Joy erupted through Eddie’s insides like fireworks.

“Touché.”

Neither of them moved, and then Steve finally shuffled his feet. “I’m so sorry. I wish I didn’t have to go.”

“Steve, it’s okay.” Eddie reassured. “I’m—I’m fucking high right now, don’t worry. This isn’t going away anytime soon—not on my end, at least.”

“Okay.” Steve emitted short breath. “Okay, good. I’ll text you and call you as much as I can, okay?”

He pinched Eddie’s side and then hurried back to the car, hands stuffed in his pockets in the cold. “I’ll see you soon!”

“Soon!” Eddie echoed, waving. His heartbeat was finally leveling. Steve climbed into the driver’s seat and Eddie fiddled with the lock. Nervous energy typhooned off him as he finally got into the house, and Steve backed out of the drive, honking.

“Holy shit.” Eddie sighed, kicking off his shoes and folding himself in half. He wrenched his hands through his hair, spun in two circles. “Holy shit!”

Eddie paced, side to side, dug his phone from his pocket. He immediately pulled up the text from Nancy and started firing away at the keyboard.

CALL ME ASAP GOOD THING

He made one for Chrissy too, hit send, and then there was a knock at the door.

Eddie jumped, spun to face it. Wayne never forgot his keys, and he wasn’t supposed to be home for several more hours anyway. Maybe it was Max, or…?

Eddie pulled the handle, to see Steve standing there, face red as a cherry. Behind him, his car was shut off, and he gnawed his bottom lip.

“…Steve?” Eddie asked, heart in his throat, fearing the worst. Maybe he regretted it all?

“I, um.” Steve leveled him, gaze blazing like a thousand brilliant suns.

Oh. Didn’t look like it.

Steve took a shaky breath.

“I didn’t ask if I could kiss you good night.”

Chapter Text

Heat flourished through Eddie, while Steve waited in the snowfall, in the inky dark, steaming little clouds into the air around him. Neighborhood Christmas lights glowed behind him and he looked warm all over, eyes like molten honey. Both of his hands were stuffed into his jacket pockets, a telltale sign of feeling awkward and shy.

“You didn’t.” Eddie said back, stupidly. He held the door open with one crooked arm and the other mindlessly pocketed his phone. He was suspended in time. In their cinematic rom-com. But good God, this wasn’t scripted. Steve wanted to kiss him, actually.

And he was on the other side of the threshold, within reach, much more real than any daydream or fantasy Eddie had ever had.

Steve worked over his lip again and dipped his shoulders.

“Uh,” He said hurriedly, mistaking the silence for lack of desire. “And I don’t have to, I just, um.”

He cast his eyes down and cleared his throat. Eddie’s heart fluttered like a caged bird, rattling against the bars. Frozen in place, riddled with nerves.

“No, no,” Eddie laughed lightly, jingling with anticipation. He shifted his weight. He was on a tightrope, about to fall, but into something good. “You can ask me, Steve.”

And why did “Steve” feel sacred that time? A name murmured like a secret. A name that, in that moment, felt like Eddie’s alone to say. It slipped out intimately, smooth like velvet.

Steve’s eyes flicked up, confidence steadily growing in them. Fog puffed around him again as he breathed resolutely through his nose, and then he stepped closer. His boots tapped quietly on the icy front stoop until he was six inches away.

They were roughly the same height, nose-to-nose, and Eddie suddenly knew what it was like to be almost kissed by Steve Harrington. He understood the charm, the allure, the gravitational pull of his bedroom eyes. This was no longer his roommate and best friend, but a guy who was fucking romancing him.

In his element, charged with new certainty, Steve tilted his head. He took a measured look at Eddie’s mouth, down his jawline, over his collarbone, roamed across the yellow sweater, and then painstakingly made a path back up. His gaze shot lightning through Eddie’s entire body.

“Okay.” Steve said quietly, “Can I kiss you goodnight then, Eddie?”

And “Eddie” was said the same, like it was personal, something Steve made up in a lost language that only they knew. The familiarity tickled him.

Eddie, normally so full of bravado and noise, couldn’t think of anything witty to say. Every fiber of his being was drawn in. This wasn’t a joke anymore. He’d never been fucking joking in the first place.

He swallowed.

“Yeah.”

Eddie expected it to be hasty, white-hot, and dirty from years of buildup and pining. He expected his hormones to go into overdrive and take over, to grab Steve by the jacket and yank him inside, to toss him onto the couch, and go at it like animals.

But Steve took the lead, and Eddie felt more fucking cherished than he ever had in his life.

Steve stepped closer still, and lifted a hand to cradle the back of Eddie’s head. His touch was gentle, careful. Loosely bunched his curls. It sent a shiver down his spine. Steve’s other palm went to his waist, onto the subtle dip of his hip. Eddie abandoned the door to catch his shoulders.

And Steve’s lips finally met his own.

It was white-hot, the scorching center of a campfire, but it was a slow, delicious burn. Like Eddie had never felt the sunshine on his skin before and here he was now, stepping out into the light from some craggy cavern. Steve’s mouth was soft, because he moisturized and used chapstick. It pressed firmly against Eddie’s, sealing this thing they’d been nervously dancing around into permanence.

That’s all it was for a second, a touch of lips, both of them motionless, both reeling. Eddie felt Steve inhale, precious. He saw stars behind his eyelids and reveled in the intoxicating smell of Steve, overwhelming him. He memorized his taste, the prickly stubble on his chin, the way his fingers felt against the back of Eddie’s skull, holding him still.

He gripped Steve’s shoulders tighter.

And then they ignited, sparks flying, gasoline poured onto them with a match thrown in. Their kissing suddenly grew frantic, wet, and unruly. Eddie tugged Steve closer, their entire fronts colliding with a dull thud. He couldn’t hide a groan, echoing against Steve’s jaw, and their composure came undone like frayed yarn. Like a landslide, crumbling fast and slippery onto the roadway.

Steve hummed into his mouth and backed Eddie into the trailer. They stumbled over each other’s feet, but Steve had enough mind to blindly reach for the door and slam it shut. Once it was closed, Eddie hauled his weight forward and knocked Steve flat against its surface, kiss never breaking.

“Oh, fuck.” Steve gasped, huffing it out in a half-moan, half-laugh. He returned the enthusiasm, seeming to have no problem with being thrown around. Seeming to enjoy it, actually. Their tongues joined the game then, languishing and teasing. Steve’s tasted like mint, like he’d popped one before he came back to the door.

It fueled Eddie further, thinking about Steve planning to kiss him. Deciding to turn back after he drove away, knowing he couldn’t wait any longer.

Eddie angled his head and their jaws slanted together, deeper. Steve’s hands roamed now, skating down to play with the hem of the yellow sweater. He raked it up lightly, fingers grazing Eddie’s waistline.

Eddie jumped. Zaps crackled in their wake. He surged his entire body into Steve again, stomach dipping when he felt the tent in his jeans.

Eddie tore his hands loose from where they’d glued to Steve’s shoulders. He started to pull down the zipper of his jacket—

When his phone started blaring, ringer on high, startling the shit out of both of them.

“Jesus Christ.” Steve wheezed when they broke apart in surprise. Their chests heaved in tandem.

“God—I’m sorry—shit.” Eddie’s hands shook as he fished his phone out. His heart slammed like he’d been jumping rope or running a marathon. Steve still held him, loosely.

“It’s okay, don’t—don’t worry about it.” He laughed, running his hands over Eddie’s sides, soothing.

Nancy’s terribly comedic contact photo graced the screen.

“Ah, crap, I told her to call me.” Eddie explained sheepishly. “Like, the second you left, I texted her and Chris. Because I’m fucking embarrassing.”

Steve tapped his hip. “You’re not embarrassing. I was gonna call Robin too but then I turned around instead.”

Steve’s eyes sparkled. His lips were red, wet with spit, and his cheeks were flushed. His hair splayed where it had smooshed against the door.

Eddie couldn’t help but smile. He had been making out with Steve. Steve had been making out with him. What a turn of events.

“She’ll understand if I get back to her later.” Eddie chuckled, ignoring the call and shoving his phone back in his pocket.

Eddie found Steve’s lips again as soon as he could, diving in this time with a hand on Steve’s jaw, thumb against his cheek. The two of them curled together. Eddie’s free hand unzipped the Patagonia all the way down, down, down, ears ringing at the delectable sound.

And then his fucking phone was ringing, a second time.

They untangled from each other, breathing heavily.

Eddie grumbled, “Oh my—”

“Lemme answer.” Steve said as Eddie wiggled it out. He basically wrenched the phone from Eddie’s grip and slid to pick up, before Eddie could say a word.

“Hello?”

There was an audible pause on the other end, where Nancy was clearly processing. Eddie could hear her voice next, tinny, on the other line.

“Steve?” She asked, after a beat.

“Hey, Nance. Can Eddie call you later? He’s busy.”

Eddie laughed in surprise; this was the kind of shit he’d pull.

“Um.” She responded, puzzled. “Sure? Is everything okay? He said to call him ASAP.”

Eddie snatched the phone, “I said it was a good thing, Wheeler.”

There was another gap, where Nancy’s cogs were turning. He could practically hear her putting it together.

“Okay, admittedly I didn’t read the whole text. It was all-caps, which was immediately concerning, so—wait, oh my God? Are you—?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m with Steve, good thing, kinda busyyyy.”

“Oh—Aha! Robin so owes me, I knew it!”

“Betting on us? Sick of you, Nance.”

“Oh, shut up!” She snarked. “Okay, okay—gross that I interrupted, bye!”

The line clicked, call over.

“They’re all little shits.” Steve laughed, shaking his head. “That was a horrible picture of her, by the way.”

“I know.” Eddie cheesed, silencing his phone and lobbing it onto the couch. “…So, uh, shall we continue, or…?”

Steve glided to hold Eddie’s waist again, fingertips like brands on his skin. Eddie wanted to mark where they’d been, permanently, sear the feelings into his brain.

Steve frowned, cute puppy eyes looking sappy and sad. “God, I’d rather fucking die than leave right now, Eds, but I have to go. This fucking trip, my parents will kill me if—”

“Skip the dumb trip, spend Christmas with me.” Eddie word-vomited, desperate and horny. He limply gripped Steve’s shoulders again, thumbs brushing his collarbones. “Your parents suck and you won’t have fun.”

Steve’s undershirt looked paper-thin under the jacket. So easy to take off. Snuggly white cotton that Eddie wanted to tear to shreds. He played with the seam at the shoulder.

Instead of making fun of him for being clingy, Steve smiled softly.

“I’d definitely rather do that. But Mom and Dad will never let me live it down. Shit’s all prepaid and it’s too late to cancel. They’ll kick my ass. But I wish I could stay with you, Eddie.”

There it was again, that ancient, reverent name, something so ordinary, but so special. Angels sang when Steve said it.

Eddie kissed him again, without warning, all pent-up passion and sweltering desire. He leaned in harder, plastering Steve to the door. Steve tried to match his ferocity at first, but eventually succumbed, melting into a puddle in Eddie’s hands with a whimper.

Swirly warmth rushed through Eddie; visions of sizzling ocean waves and whipping wind. Every silly fantasy thundered to the forefront of Eddie’s mind, demanding to be remembered. Mentally, he and Steve had already fucked more times than Eddie could count. Now the potential—the probable, near-future reality—pounded at the windows.

Steve liquefied underneath him, emitting shaky breaths and quiet moans at every in-between when their mouths smacked with spit. He pushed Eddie’s sweater to the armpits, exploring every slant of his torso. Eddie did the same, tracing over the t-shirt, teasing, relishing.

They kissed, and kissed, and kissed until the room was spinning, and then finally pulled apart, panting for air.

“God.” Steve breathed, half-slouching against the door. They were slowly going horizontal. Eddie helped haul him up right. “Is this how gay makeouts are supposed to be? Because the other two were not this good.”

Eddie smirked, puffing with pride. His heart still hammered.

“I can rock your world, baby.” Eddie patted Steve’s cheek playfully. “But you have to go, or something, I heard. So, not right now.”

“Oh?” Steve laughed. He shoved Eddie in the chest without hostility. His fingers lingered a second longer than normal for roughhousing. “Two can play at that game, baby.”

Steve was still breathless, “I’m the champion of world-rocking. Just you wait.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow, lips upturned. “All right, fine. We’ll see how the cards fall when you’re back.”

He made a show of stepping closer to Steve, tugging down his undershirt and zipping his Patagonia jacket back up. Licked a thumb and spruced his hair. Steve flashed him a goofy smile and caught his hand.

“I like the nail polish.” Steve remarked, rubbing over it with his pointer finger. “It’s cute.”

Eddie laughed genuinely, caught off-guard.

“Chrissy’s idea.” He explained. “She said it would get me kissed by Christmas, New Year’s at the latest.”

“It worked.”

“Mmhm.”

They stood in a bubble then, neither wanting to pop it. The inevitable separation until early January hung over Eddie’s head like a sad cloud. He normally loved the long break, and now it felt stupid and endless.

“Anyway,” Steve blew a breath, scratched the back of his head. He looked coy and boyish again, now that the raging, sexually-charged moment has cooled. His freckled cheeks were sweetly pink. “Talk soon?”

“Obviously.” Eddie smirked, fixing his own (Steve’s own) sweater. “Lemme walk you out.”

They swung open the trailer door and Eddie tiptoed into his shoes. He followed Steve to his car in the cold. Steve unlocked it, cranked the engine, immediately blasted the heat. Eddie stood next to the driver’s seat, door wide open, prolonging the minute.

“Glad you came back.” He said quietly, then stole another chaste kiss. Steve subtly licked his lips after.

“Me too.”

“…Man…Well, have fun. Like Robin said, don’t break bones.”

They twined their hands together, released them. Eddie was definitely in a cheesy movie now. His heart kept skipping beats.

“I won’t.” Steve gave an awkward wave and a hunky grin, “Merry Christmas, Eddie.”

Eddie poked his nose, stepped back so Steve could pull the door shut. He rolled the window down for any last words.

“Merry Christmas, Stevie.”

Steve held up his hand again, a goodbye gesture, and started to back out slowly. Eddie walked beside the car, keeping pace in the piled snow.

“And hey,” He tagged on, speaking a little louder to be heard over the engine. Steve stopped, foot on the brake, and cut his eyes over.

Eddie leaned down dramatically, dropping his elbows into the window. He crowded Steve’s space and grinned.

“Just so you know,” Eddie smirked, “The second you’re gone, I’m gonna go in there and get off, and probably think about absolutely railing you.—But enjoy your trip!”

While Steve blinked and stammered, Eddie cackled and slapped the door. He raced back to the trailer, yelling, “See ya, Stevie!” over his shoulder.

Steve paused, called something indistinguishable, and honked twice in reply. Then he pulled out of the neighborhood.

It was a short while later, once the deed was done and Eddie was on the couch in comfy pajamas, when he got a text from Steve.

Me too

With the kissing face emoji.

And with that, Eddie called Nancy back, and then Chrissy, to recount the whole event. Because his heart was bursting at the seams.

***

“How was the date with Steve?” Wayne asked over breakfast the following morning. He’d gotten home super late after the double shift and they both slept in. Eddie poured them two bowls of cereal and split a bagel.

“It wasss…actually a date, yes.” Eddie couldn’t hide a smile behind his bedhead.

“No shit!” Wayne chucked, slapping him hard on the shoulder, “I was just messin’ with ya, since you were so tip-toey about it last time. What changed?”

Eddie sloshed the spoon around, shrugged. “Steve changed, grew a pair and took me out, I guess. It was the blind leading the blind, Pops.”

“Well, I’m happy for you, kid. He your boyfriend now?” Wayne asked, filling his chipped mug with another cup of joe, fresh from the pot. The smell of black coffee would always remind Eddie of Wayne, supercharged in the morning. Eddie offered his own mug out for another serving too.

“Uh,” He laughed, unsure. “Maybe? We didn’t really talk about that. Just kinda went to this Christmas tree farm and then he had to go. He’s out of town ‘til January.”

Wayne hummed, “What a reunion that’ll be.”

“Ew, stop!”

“Just make sure you’re bein’ safe and all that—”

Eddie waved his bagel around, effectively shutting up his uncle. Crumbs and cream cheese flew onto the table.

“We had this talk when I was like, thirteen, no need to repeat.” Eddie insisted.

“You’ve never had a real boyfriend before, Ed. ‘Cept that one time in high school.”

“Thank you for reminding me of my incredibly drab love life—you’re one to talk, y’know. Michelle’s the first girlfriend in, what, ten years?”

“You drove ‘em all off. My bratty kid, too much drama.” Wayne smiled wickedly, clearly joking. He flicked a Honeycomb into Eddie’s bowl. “Anyway, just had to say it.”

Eddie ferociously crunched a bite of cereal.

Mouth full, he answered, “Thanks.”

There was a moment of quiet, where they both ate breakfast and sipped coffee. Gentle winter wind slipped against the window and TV buzzed in the background.

Wayne tapped his fingers and set down his spoon, then looked over at Eddie with half a smile.

“Guess that means I should list the place, huh?”

Eddie blinked, finished his bite, and swallowed suddenly, belly twisting with anxiety.

“What?” He blabbed. “What do you mean? I haven’t—”

“Eddie,” Wayne shook his head, squeezed a hand. “Don’t be silly. You’re not staying here. I don’t want you to stay here. If you’re shackin’ up with the Harrington kid, you shouldn’t stay in Hawkins. This place is too closed-minded for that. And his parents are…they’re…”

“Assholes?”

“Yes, exactly. Broaden your horizons.”

Eddie sighed, pushed his meal farther back from him and let his elbows droop onto the tabletop.

“…I know. I didn’t…plan on staying here, truthfully. Steve and I talked about it before we even like, got together. But I didn’t know how to tell you without making you sad.”

Wayne actually guffawed like a cartoon character.

“Making me sad? I’m the one leaving you, kid, I don’t wanna make you sad.”

“But you’re leaving to go be with someone you love.”

“And so are you, Ed.”

Eddie blew out a breath at that, unable to come up with an argument. He hadn’t said those words to Steve yet, but they weren’t wrong.

“Yeah, okay…Touché.”

Wayne reached across the table to ruffle his hair, fully forming a birds nest. Eddie only half-heartedly swatted him.

“Where you going then? Bet we could find you a nice plot in South Carolina.” His uncle winked. “If you wanted.”

Eddie’s lips twitched up and he continued to eat his cereal. “Probably looking for something a little less Republican and conservative if we’re going to get a one bedroom, y’know?”

Would they get a one bedroom? Like, definitely, right?

“Yeah, good point. Well.” Wayne patted the table, prompting Eddie to look him in the eye. He was steadfast, sure-gazed, almost beaming. “I want you to know—I know you know—but, I want you to remember, you’re always gonna be welcome at our home. Both of you. And if any neighbors look sideways I’ll stick a rainbow flag in my front yard and fly it high, ‘cause I don’t give a shit.”

Eddie grinned, brimming with warmth. He could imagine Uncle Wayne giving the stink eye to anyone who dared look at them funny, glaring daggers. And even from his limited experience with Michelle, he could also see her going fully Karen, but, like, in a good way. A protective way.

“Thanks, old man. Love you.”

“I love you too, kid.”

***

Christmas came and went without much grandeur. Eddie and Wayne made Toll House chocolate chip cookies for Santa the night before and watched the Santa Clause trilogy. They opened gifts with Michelle Christmas morning. She made a big “Farmer’s Breakfast” casserole, she’d called it, with hashbrown, eggs, bacon, peppers, the whole thing.

She really was a sweet woman, and doted on Wayne more than he deserved, probably.

(All jokes, he definitely deserved it.)

It was cozy, endearing, a memory Eddie would stamp onto his heart for the rest of time. The last Christmas in Hawkins. Michelle took lots of pictures, too, promised to print copies for Eddie.

He texted some to Steve, but the delivery was patchy. He was already high in the mountains, two hours behind Indiana’s time zone. He’d sent Eddie a couple spotty texts as he’d traveled, promised to call as soon as he could, but the reception was shit up there.

And that really sucked, because Eddie was borderline obsessive about wanting to talk to him. Floodgates opened, feelings reciprocated, Eddie didn’t feel crazy anymore, but he felt more fucking desperate than ever.

One text from Steve shone through all of them, kept him from going ballistic.

Merry Christmas for real this time. Miss you, with the red heart.

Eddie kept looking at it in the days that followed, pinned it to the top of his texts. He wondered if Steve was like, real talk, in love with him? Did he just have a crush, or was this the over the top feeling Eddie had too? The kiss had certainly been emblazed with something extra, but that also could’ve been from all the yearning? But were they yearning because they were in love? Like, both of them?

God, Eddie couldn’t wait to find out. He was on a mental hamster wheel, skittering through repeats of the date, the kiss, every miniscule memory of their friendship, and wondering where it would go from here.

In the few days after Christmas he helped Wayne take real estate pictures of the trailer, kept himself busy with chores, music, the van and truck. At a Hellfire Club meeting in the Wheeler basement on December twenty-ninth, Dustin invited them all to his house for a “New Year’s Eve Bash.”

“Is it really a bash if it’s like, ten-ish people?” Lucas had raised an eyebrow.

“Yes. C’mon, don’t be a dick, I bought sparklers.”

Eddie’s eyes twinkled over the table. “Flammables? I’m in, Henderson.”

So that’s where they were now, piled into Claudia Henderson’s living room waiting for the ball to drop. In Dustin’s absence she had adopted two new cats, and the three of them were wildly entertained with a laser pointer.

“I always thought that was a myth. Cats liking these, man.” Argyle admitted. “But I get it. Like, I like it too.”

Johnathan raced the tiny light up the wall, sending the cats in every direction. “Don’t go cross-eyed, man. It’s for the cats.”

Dustin passed out star-shaped headbands and plastic flutes of beer, because “champagne is gross, guys.” (Nancy shared the bottle she brought with the girls.)

They grimaced at the terrible musical performance on TV and killed time with Super Smash Bros. Max and El were surprisingly dominant. Lucas and Mike, surprisingly weak.

“Has anyone talked to Steve? I bet Colorado’s so awesome. He’s a couple hours behind us, right?” Will asked innocently, picking through Chex Mix.

Nancy laid a manicured hand over Eddie’s shoulder, sitting snuggly beside him on the couch. Robin, on his other side, lightly kicked his shin. Eddie cut his eyes at both of them. They were the only ones who knew, and that wasn’t Eddie’s thing to tell, not fully. They were teasing the fuck out of him, without words.

“I talked to him a little,” Robin answered coolly. “His reception is super bad, but I think he’s having fun. Avoiding his stupid parents as much as possible. Hitting the slopes a lot, or whatever.”

“Oh, he’s hitting somethin’, I bet.” Dustin nodded, a cheesy smile on his face.

“Like, fighting?” Lucas made a face. “Or having sex? That wasn’t smooth at all.”

“You got my gist! Smooth enough. I mean I bet he found hot girls there.”

Mike laughed, “Geez, Dustin, bet you really charm Suzie with stuff like that.”

“Bet you really charm Will with your stupid face.”

The three boys all broke into bickering, which Will avoided and rolled his eyes to. He, El, and Max tuned into their own conversation. Johnathan and Argyle were still playing with the cats, so Nancy and Robin crowded Eddie, one in each ear.

“Bet you’ve talked to Steve too, huh?” Robin winked.

“Any more kissy face emojis?” Nancy goaded, sipping Prosecco.

Eddie rolled his shoulders, shaking them both off, but pleasant warmth rumbled through him. He wanted to brag that, yes, actually, he had a red heart emoji text pinned, didn’t they know? Steve Harrington felt him up, didn’t they know?

They did know, yeah, but it was cool anyway.

“Actually we haven’t been able to talk much.” Eddie rubbed the back of his neck. “His service really does suck, you’re not wrong, and the time difference thing is annoying.”

“Well, he’ll be home in a couple days, and then you guys can fuck like silly little rabbits.”

“Robin!” Nancy shrieked, bubbling into laughter. “Ew, no, I don’t need to think of the details of that.”

“Oh, c’mon.” She jostled Nancy over Eddie’s shoulders. “Don’t act like you didn’t dish everything to Eddie when we got together.”

“I didn’t!” Nancy covered her pink face with one hand, balanced her drink in the other. “We’re not weird codependent soulmates like you and Steve. We’re normal friends.”

“And you know that your imposed distance hurts my heart, Wheeler.” Eddie joked, feigning pain with a hand to his chest. “I’d love to share all the extra dirty details.”

“Okay, maybe, sure, but not about my ex-boyfriend.—Is he your boyfriend now? You like my sloppy seconds?” She grinned devilishly.

“What are you guys hamming up about over here?” Dustin dropped onto Eddie’s head from behind suddenly, chin jamming into Eddie’s skull.

“Jesus, Henderson, your head made of bricks? None of your beeswax.” Eddie lobbed him off and rubbed his scalp.

“My head is made of magic and wonder. Brilliant ideas.” Dustin answered back, scooping up one of the orange cats as it zoomed past. He plopped it into Eddie’s lap. Mews stretched and made biscuits on Eddie’s thighs.

“Here.” Dustin said, before rushing off to get another drink. “You can kiss Mews at midnight. Five minute countdown!”

“Already? Damn.”

Nancy pushed to stand, grabbing Robin’s glass from her hand. “Let me get us a refill too. Anybody else?” When nobody took her up on it, she headed to the kitchen.

“I’ll kiss Mews.” Robin crooned, picking up the cat and cuddling her to her chest. Mews purred like a chainsaw. Eddie was scratching behind Mews’ tiny triangle ears when his phone started vibrating too.

To his total surprise, it was an incoming FaceTime from Steve. He flashed the screen to show Robin, and answered quickly.

“Hey.” Eddie smiled a secret smile, heart flickering like a flame in the wind when he saw Steve’s face. The picture was grainy, dimly lit in an orange glow, but there he was, in a beanie and his quarter zip. Which was, pleasantly, zipped all the way down. He was sitting on a couch in a large lounge space, with a dining table behind him.

“Hey yourself.” Steve replied quietly, eyes shining in what Eddie presumed was light from a fireplace. “I finally bought a fucking hotspot, looks like it’s working. It’s almost midnight there, right? It’s like ten here but I wanted to pretend—”

“That you were here with us?” Eddie cut in suddenly, well-aware of his surroundings, that Steve was none the wiser to. “Here at Dustin’s?”

“Oh.” Steve’s eyes widened in understanding, “Yeah, at Dustin’s!”

“Hi, Steve!” Lucas called from his place on the floor, catching the sound of the conversation. There was a chorus of “hellos” and from the group.

Robin leaned into frame, pushing Mews’ nose towards the lens.

“Hi, dingus. We got a kiss for Eddie covered.” She giggled.

“Steve!” Dustin called gleefully, sliding full-speed behind the couch to be included. His freshly-filled glass swished with copper liquid. “We miss you! How’s it there? Is it freezing? Any new lady friends?”

“God.” Steve rolled his eyes heavily. “No.”

Definitelyyy fucking not.

“Ooohh,” Dustin started elbowing Eddie’s shoulder over the couch, gesturing at the screen, “I dunno, I see a pink jacket back there?”

“It’s my cousin’s, asshole. She does happen to be a girl. Don’t be gross.”

While Dustin dissolved into sheepish laughter, Argyle yelled over, “Smoke anything good, dude?”

“Uh, some, yeah. It’s chill here, literally and figuratively.” Steve replied with a nod.

“I want to see pictures when you are home!” El requested. “The mountains are very beautiful, I bet.”

“I wanna see a video of somebody eating shit.” Max added. “Beautiful mountains and major crash and burns skiing.”

Nancy glided back in, this time sitting on the other side of Robin for the traditional New Year’s kiss in about a minute. She waved “hi” to Steve and gave him a soft smile. Eddie couldn’t wait to tell him about “sloppy seconds,” it was funny.

When the last sixty seconds started ticking, Dustin jumped and raced to his phone.
“Shit!” He yelped, “I have to call Suzie!”

Argyle, El, and Johnathan started winding up handheld confetti cannons, ready to pop them. The other couples fell into their own tiny pods of conversation, waiting the fateful countdown. Eddie wished he could reach through the phone.

“Nice of you to call, Stevie. Say ‘hi’ to everybody.” Eddie whispered, which was completely code for, “Your idea was cute and I wanna kiss you, too.”

“Yeah, I tried earlier but until I bought this stupid hotspot I didn’t have any luck. For a five star resort this place really needs to get their shit together.”

“Eh, you’re supposed to be relaxing off the grid.”

Even in the standard-definition quality, Steve looked like a model. He smirked and murmured, “Nah. It would be way more fun to be there.”

And oh, if that wasn’t loaded with innuendo. Eddie raised an eyebrow.

The fifteen second mark approached, and at ten the group began chanting, calling the numbers backwards. Eddie could hear Dustin talking animatedly to Suzie behind him. Robin and Nancy were cuddled up, faces close.

Eddie lifted up Mews, who had sunk into the couch cushions.

“Guess I’ll kiss the cat.”

Steve laughed at him, shook his head, and then raised his eyes again. They blazed and burned like they had on the doorstep of the trailer, and Eddie vibrated over being on the receiving end of that smolder. Even in like, 780p, it was still hot.

When they got to one, he puckered his lips and aimed it at Steve, a simple, fake New Year’s Kiss. He left one eye open though, caught Steve doing the same. It gave him loopy butterflies.

The confetti canons exploded, startling all three cats. Mews darted into another room. Lucas kissed Max and then wolf-whistled at the other pairs. Mike and Will both blushed, and Robin and Nancy were getting carried away with it all.

Dustin raised his beer high in the air.

“The future is now!” He called. Suzie’s electronic cheering was audible too.

“That was cheesy.” Eddie whispered to Steve, but he didn’t mean it. He loved cheesy. Like a fucking Christmas tree farm date on December twenty-third.

“Did it rock your world?”

“Ho, not yet, big boy.” Eddie chuckled in the cacophony of sound. “When do you get home again?”

Robin suddenly bent an elbow and slumped into Eddie’s space, pulling Nancy with her. Eddie almost dropped his phone on her face.

“I can hear you, y’know.” She sighed. “Remember what I said about rabbits?”

Robin laid her head on Eddie’s thigh, making a dogpile of the three of them.

“Oh, shut up, Robs.” Steve told her, without malice. “Like you haven’t been anxiously waiting on this. All your damn betting like we’re horses.”

“Funny that horses is the first thing you go to?” Nancy scrunched her face. “Not like, sports, or something?”

“Cut the guy some slack, altitude’s getting to him.” Eddie teased. “…Did you get altitude sickness, like, actually?”

“Can’t answer, I’m too sick from the altitude.”

The other kids were getting louder still, lining up a bunch of tiny red solo cups for shots. El popped a new bottle of cheap champagne, accidentally spraying it everywhere, all over the rug.

“Oh, shit.” Robin shook with laughter.

“Go have fun, do a shot for me.” Steve encouraged. He leveled a look, just for Eddie. “…I really do wish I was there.”

“Us too.” Eddie told him earnestly. He wished he could’ve kissed Steve at midnight, confetti in his hair, glasses clinking like a soundtrack, their friends humming with joy around them.

“—But, hey, I’ll call you at two?” Eddie suggested quickly. “When it’s midnight there?”

Steve looked like it was his fucking birthday, smiled hugely.

“Okay. Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Cool.”

“Anyway…Bye, guys!” Steve shouted, to be heard over the chaos. “Happy new year!”

***

Eddie lingered at the Henderson house as long as he could, not wanting to be a total party pooper, but he was completely itching to call Steve again. He floored it at one-thirty to get home in time. Robin had cat-called him on the way out, tipsy and happy.

Wayne was out, at Michelle’s house with a bunch of their other friends, but he’d left the TV on.

Eddie changed when he got into his bedroom, tugged on the yellow sweater for good measure. He still hadn’t washed it, and the scent of Steve only lingered now, but it was cozy. He hopped into bed and texted, is now good?, but then immediately called anyway.

Steve picked up the Facetime after only a few rings.

“So, you home now, or…?” He started. Steve was in bed too, not the living room area from before. The beanie was still tucked over his forehead, zipper still deliciously down. Eddie wanted to run his hands over Steve’s chest hair.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m home. Sorry you kinda got blindsided before. But in my defense I couldn’t have warned you, didn’t know you were calling, Harrington.”

“All good, man.” Steve’s eyes wandered down, back up to Eddie’s face. “I see my sweater’s getting good use.”

“A little bit, yeah. Sometimes it’s all I wear. If you know what I mean.” Eddie winked.

“Jesus.” Steve rolled his eyes, but his cheeks looked redder. He swept on, continuing the conversation. “Party was fun?”

“Oh, yeah. Everyone got a little drunk, we almost lit the bushes on fire with the sparklers, so that was kind of a rough moment, but we recovered.—And no cats were harmed.”

Steve grinned. “Glad to hear it.”

“Where are you, anyway?” Eddie asked, shifting in bed to get more comfortable. He bent his knees to rest the phone on his thigh, giving Steve a full view of his torso. “Shouldn’t you be at some big ball drop thing at the resort? Champagne towers and ladies in gold thongs?”

“Uh, no.” Steve adjusted too, ending up in a similar position. Eddie’s stomach backflipped at the idea of being so low, looking up at him.

“My parents, aunt, uncle, and cousin went to the big event in the lobby, but I didn’t wanna. Said I had a headache. Truthfully fireworks kinda make me panic sometimes. And I’d rather talk to you, anyway.”

Eddie wrapped one of his curls around his finger and pulled it towards his lips, an overdramatic show of bashfulness.

“Aw, Stevie, little ol’ me?”

“Yeah, little ol’ you. Don’t be dumb.” He laughed gently. “I love talking to you. I’m still like, frustrated we couldn’t more before I had to go.”

Eddie shrugged, not worried about it. “Plenty of time for that. Like, all the time? You can’t get rid of me now, sorry. I’m gonna become parasitic when you’re home, actually. I’m leeching to you. Drinking your blood to survive.”

“Hm, well, I guessss that’s fine? Not much different from how we’ve already been for four years.”
“Good.”

They lapsed into a comfortable quiet, started at each other stupidly. And then, out of nowhere, Steve’s face scrunched.

“…What?” Eddie prompted, sitting up a little straighter. The expression freaked him out. “Why do you look like that?”

Steve mulled over his next words carefully.

“Are…are we boyfriends now?” He asked finally, and relief crashed over Eddie like a wave. He needed to stop assuming Steve’s long pauses were bad things. He was just thoughtful sometimes. Eddie needed to stop assuming he was unwanted. Clearly, it was the opposite.

“Uhhh…do you want to be?” Eddie’s voice went up an octave. He tried not to sound too eager.

Steve looked sheepish. “Yeah, I mean, I do, I just didn’t know if you did too, or like, how exactly this works? Like, we wanna live together so I assumed, but—”

“You assumed right.” Eddie assured him, heat blooming in his chest. “Yeah, definitely. If that’s not like, too sudden?”

“No, no.” Steve laughed. “I mean, the way I look at it, we know each other pretty fucking well after all this time. I’m pretty confident I like you, man.”

“Oh, just wait,” Eddie joked, “I’m fucking unbearable, actually.”

“Trust me, I know that too, Eds.”

“Dick!” Eddie chuckled, wishing he could smack him. “I’d slap you if I was there.”

Something unsaid too, like, I’d do a lot if I was there.

Steve smirked. “I’d let you, I guess.”

“Ha! Oho, this is gonna be fun shit, isn’t it?” Eddie grinned wickedly. “Can’t wait to see what makes you tick, Stevie.”

“Okay, quit it, you’re being embarrassing.” Steve laughed, momentarily shielding the camera to hide. “I don’t even know what makes me tick, I’ve never been with a guy like that, y’know.”

Eddie waggled his eyebrows. “Oh, I know, babe.”

Babe. It felt good, it rolled off the tongue. There were so many things Eddie wanted to call him. Sweetheart, honey, baby, maybe even pretty boy, princess. The options were endless.

If he wasn’t careful, this was going to turn into full on phone-sex, but he didn’t want their first time doing anything heavy to be over a shitty screen. He wanted to make Steve feel good with his own fucking hands.

“But hey, really, no pressure about like, anything.” Eddie flipped a switch, speaking gently. “I’m just messing with you. Whatever pace you want. We don’t even have to—we can talk about all that when you’re home. I’d be happy just like, holding your hand, as grossly cheesy as that is.”

“Holding my hand and slapping me.” Steve teased.

Eddie couldn’t fucking help it, his dick twitched. But what did one expect? Steve Harrington even hypothesizing being spicy in bed had him reeling.

“This is gonna be so…interesting.” Eddie decided, rubbing his face. “I feel psychotic. Is this real? You’re not an android who took over Steve’s body?”

“Don’t think so. It’s—ah! Fuck.” Steve visibly jumped, clattering the phone to its side. The picture skewed and tipped, blacking out when the lens hit the fabric.

“Jesus Christ the fireworks scared me.” He explained, huffing a breath. “It’s midnight, I guess.”

“Oh, shit. Happy new year! Again!”

“Happy new year.” Steve caught his breath with a quiet laugh, righting the screen. He pushed in with another fake kiss, which Eddie returned.

“…I’m excited to kiss you whenever I want.” Steve admitted softly. “I…thought something was wrong with me for such a long time.”

He frowned, not meeting Eddie’s eyes for a moment.

“Like, I knew you were gay but I kept telling myself there was no fucking way that I was gay. Bi. And I just felt like a weird perv or something, like, being into my guy best friend in a more-than-friends way.”

“I know. It sucks to feel that way. At least I only had the pining for my best friend part and not the whole sexuality crisis. That was over and done when I was like, eleven.” Eddie wanted to brush over Steve’s cheek, comfort him.

“It’s gonna be okay, too, y’know.” Eddie continued. “We can like, stay quiet about stuff until you’re ready. We don’t have to tell the kids or Jonathan and Argyle any time soon. Wayne knows, but he’s super cool about everything. Said we’re always welcome.—And we don’t have to be out in public, like, at all. I know it’s not comfortable here. It might be better someday when we move but I don’t want you to ever feel uncomfortable.”

Steve’s brows knit together again. “I don’t want you to think I’m hiding you, though, okay? I promise that’s not—”

“Steve, trust me, I know.” Eddie placated him sympathetically. He hoped that he was conveying the importance of this conversation through the tiny rectangular screen. “I know you’d never do that. You like me as I am, long hair, tattoos, and all. People give us weird looks just hanging out, let alone doing PDA. I don’t want you to be like, subjected to any hate or anything you’re not ready for, just, please take your time, okay? Really.”

Steve’s lips turned down but he nodded. “Okay. I’ll get there.”

“There’s no kind of rush at all, Stevie. Ever.”

“I know, I know.” Steve settled back down, getting comfy in bed. He tugged off the beanie and lobbed it off screen, plopping his head onto the pillow.

“You tired? It’s like, two there.”

“I’m all right.” Eddie shrugged. “We’ve seen later nights.”

“When are you driving back to school?”

“Probably tomorrow, get my shit together before classes start Tuesday.”

Steve nodded, looking sweet piled under a blanket.

“Cool. Yeah, I’ll be back at the dorm Monday, so, day after you. Ready to be back in our time zone, back in my own bed.”

“You’re gonna have to make room for me in the twin XL, parasitic attachment, remember?”

Steve’s lips twitched. “Right.”

And would they share a bed? Would they cram onto the skinny mattress every night? Whose bed? Would they fuck on one of their beds? Would they fuck any time soon? Would they get dirty on the couch or was that strictly for sitting? Was showering together on board? Could Eddie steal more of Steve’s clothes? Could he call him cutesy names all the time? Every speculation and fantasy raced through Eddie’s mind again and he had to clamp it all down and resume normal conversation. Good God, how was he supposed to go to classes?

Eddie felt himself start to drift off eventually, probably near three in the morning. He could hear Steve telling a skiing story but his eyes kept fluttering shut, only catching every few words. He was lulled, content. He had a really far-off, faded memory of hearing his mom use her hair dryer in the morning, getting ready for the day, while Eddie was still in bed. It felt like that.

“Eds,” Steve called, louder. “Go to sleep, babe.”

Babe again, his turn, this time. It tickled up Eddie’s spine like a silky ribbon, left pleasure in its wake. It felt right. Eddie hummed and finally focused enough to respond.

“’Kay.” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “Night, Steve. Hap new year.”

“Yeah, ‘Hap’ new year.” Steve laughed at the slurred sentence. “I’ll see you soon.”

“See you soon.”

He had enough coherency to hang up. Then he lost his phone in the linens and immediately knocked out. Eddie stirred when Wayne came home some fifteen minutes later, but fell back into a restful sleep.

Eddie had blurry dreams that night, bright bursts of color on an pitch-black sky. The embers from them fizzled into bubbly champagne, then crystalized into snow, and Eddie absolutely shredded down the slopes while blasting Metallica. At the bottom of the hill, Dustin handed him a trophy, a giant, golden statue of Mews, and then Steve surprised him with a victory kiss.

What a night. He couldn’t wait to see what the new year would bring.

Chapter Text

Eddie cleaned with the ferocity of a housewife before a dinner party. He scrubbed the dorm from top to bottom, dirt under his fingernails, hair clinging to his forehead, music blasting until the RA knocked and politely asked him to turn it down. He completely restructured the organization of the refrigerator, changed his sheets, vacuumed, Lysol-ed, polished the place until it was sparkling.

He made sure his bedroom was especially immaculate, on the chance that he and Steve ended up there in the next twenty-four hours.

Steve would be home in forty-five minutes, he’d texted, and that gave Eddie enough time to take a shower and towel-dry his curls.

He was jangling with nerves and a raging desire to impress Steve. To allure him. It was nice to come home to a clean house, one that smelled fresh, and had a few candles burning (that they weren’t supposed to have but, whatever).

Eddie shrugged into a pair of slim, black joggers and the blessed yellow sweater, finally washed, hoping it would be the cherry on top.

And then he just waited. Paced back and forth, wearing holes into the tile. When he grew bored of that, he dropped onto the couch and wasted time on TikTok, checking up on the billions of videos Dustin had curated for him into his own special For You Page.

And then he must’ve fucking fallen asleep, because a gentle hand shook him awake sometime later.

“You’re not supposed to leave candles unattended, y’know. Could’ve burned all our shit down.”

Eddie blinked into full consciousness and dragged his hand over his eyes. It took a few seconds to compute that Steve was leaning over him, an amused smile on his face.

“Oh, shit.” Eddie laughed, embarrassed. His phone had slipped into the couch cushions. The same video about government experiment conspiracy theories was audibly playing over and over. “Hi.”

“Hey,” Steve said softly. His suitcase was rolled up next to the coffee table. He straightened and slipped off his backpack, plopping it onto the floor. “Thanks for cleaning up. I could’ve helped with that.”

“No, no, it’s fine. You had a long trip. Just wanted you to feel relaxed now. I know vacation isn’t always restful.” Eddie sat up and locked his phone, finally shutting up the loop.

“This one wasn’t at all.” Steve shook his head and shucked off his jacket. Underneath he had on a long-sleeved green shirt and a pair of blue jeans. His shoes had already been abandoned at the door, showing off multi-colored socks, probably from Robin.

“I’m so fucking sore.” Steve complained. He tossed his jacket onto the couch and carded his fingers through his hair. “Skiing is no joke.”

“Yeah, I can barely walk in a straight line, so I can’t imagine shooting down a hill on little sticks—but I did have this crazy dream on New Year’s. I kicked ass. I won a trophy.”

“Yeah?” Steve smiled sideways.

Eddie had almost forgotten how obnoxiously handsome he was.

Almost.

“Yep. First place. Gold.”

Eddie stood, did a little performative stretch so his sweater rode up. He could practically feel Steve’s eyes on the exposed skin, hot like lasers.

“Still wearing this, huh?” Eddie felt Steve’s hands before he saw him move, as he carefully pinched the fabric between thumb and forefinger. He pulled, just a tiny bit, like one string running thin and teetering Eddie closer.

“Finally washed it,” Eddie chuckled. His skin buzzed with life, with their close proximity. He’d missed Steve. He was touch-starved.

“But yeah, I think I’ve made it my own now, sorry.”

“We’ll just have to trade. Gimme something of yours then.” Steve’s breath was warm, fanning on his face.

“Something of mine?” Eddie scoffed. His lips parted, drinking it in.

“Be honest with yourself, Stevie, my wardrobe is too edgy for you…”

Eddie eyed him, absorbed the way Steve looked shimmery and disheveled already. The inevitable dam break was only moments away. Eddie wanted to ruin him. He wanted to trace every curved muscle, feel every flex.

He’d really fucking missed him.

“…But I could give you something else?” Eddie winked.

“Yeah.” Steve breathed. His shoulders lifted and fell with it. “I haven’t stopped thinking about kissing you, honestly.”

And, oh, there it was. Geysers spurting through cracked concrete. Flooding the village below.

So he kissed him.

Eddie took the lead this time, crowding Steve’s space and catching his lips in the same motion. They both whimpered on impact, but Eddie’s head swam too much to be embarrassed.

It was like the one in the trailer never ended. No need for catching up or casual conversation, they were transported back to the other moment, hands like magic on each other. Some same metaphor about sunshine, about oxygen, about water, Steve was an essential force of life, and Jesus Christ, that was cheesy, but Eddie was too lost to care.

It turned hasty fast. Like they’d been through some horrible, life-threatening scenario and this was a kiss of victory. Of, oh fuck, we made it. Because they had made it, really. They’d been too dense, so close to passing each other by like ships in the night.

Steve took Eddie by surprise, leaning into him hard enough that Eddie stumbled, falling backwards to sit on the couch. Their mouths tore apart in the movement, breath slicing out raggedly. There was a supercharged flash, sizzling between them, a heavy, hot look in Steve’s eye.

Then he literally crawled into Eddie’s lap.

“Oh, my God.” Eddie muttered, looking just up at him reverently. Eddie’s lips fell back open, awestruck. He was living the dream; Steve Harrington was perched on his fucking dick. And Eddie was stupid hard.

“You’re so hot, shit, Steve.” Eddie praised, wasting no time wrapping his arms over Steve, nestling fingers into his hair.

“Trying something new here.” Steve mumbled with a sheepish smile, cheeks dusted pink. “But I wanted to feel you this way.”

“Oh, my God.” Eddie groaned this time, swore he was going cross-eyed. He rushed back forward, colliding their mouths together smoothly.

Steve made a pleasant sound, met him with enthusiasm, and pitched his knees down so their hips slotted together. Denim scratched denim. His hands twisted into the sweater and pressed onto Eddie’s chest. Steve kept grabbing, ironing across his pecs, humming, like the absence of boobs was still weird but he was a big fan of it. The fabric was thick, but his fingers brushed Eddie’s nipples every so often.

Euphoria rippled through Eddie, and this was only first base.

He licked against Steve’s tongue, relieved that he was just as sloppy and eager. They swapped spit, tasted teeth. Steve panted into his mouth.

Eddie squeezed the hem of Steve’s shirt. He started to hoist it up, slowly.

“Can I take this off?” He whispered, separating for a second to get the sentence out.

Steve’s cheeks were pleasantly red. He shifted to look Eddie in the eye, hips grinding down. Spit painted his lips and chin.

“Yeah. But keep yours on. I like you in my shirt.”

Wildfire ripped through Eddie, inextinguishable. With a moan of primal desire, he wrenched Steve’s top off. They kissed again, like dynamite, Eddie crushed into the couch. He finally ran his hands over Steve’s sculpted body.

His skin was riddled with old scars and marks, tiny moles and freckles. Steve jumped, beautifully reactive, to every touch. Like he was over-sensitive already. Eddie wanted to see him on the absolute edge.

“Can we—” Eddie said suddenly, head dipping back. They gasped into the air. “You can say ‘no.’ I don’t wanna pressure you but, can we—can I—”

“Yeah.” Steve’s voice was feather-light. Immediate.

Eddie barked out a laugh, tipped his chin forward again so their noses almost touched. Steve’s pupils were blown wide, probably mirroring his own. He looked so real here, in his lap, stripped down to the wire, an inch away.

“You don’t even know what I was gonna say. What if I like, asked to piss on you or something?—Which I’m not, but like, you didn’t even hesitate.” Eddie smirked.

“Oh, don’t act like if I started a sentence the way you just did, you wouldn’t also jump to say ‘yes.’” Steve rolled his eyes without malice. “I can literally feel your dick right now.”

Eddie laughed through his nose, because, yeah, he could feel Steve’s too. And it was fucking thrilling.

“I just don’t wanna move too fast for you.” Eddie explained, gently while he lightly held Steve’s waist.

“It’s not, Eds, I promise.” Steve rubbed his shoulders. “Before I exclusively liked you, I was kind of a fuck-on-the-first-date kinda guy, remember?”

“Yeah, and that was like, a long time ago, with women.” Eddie pinched him, retaliation for being a smartass.

“Then teach me what it’s like to be with a guy.”

Oh.

Fuck.

Eddie’s lower stomach plummeted, a fiery pool of lava. He skated his hands down, wrapped them under Steve’s thighs, just below his ass. He felt Steve stiffen, saw his sharp intake of breath.

–And then he lifted him, completely, in the air. Steve yelped in shock before Eddie spun them around, depositing Steve in his place. Eddie dropped to his knees on the floor.

“I can do that.”

He slotted between Steve’s thighs, staring up at his caramel-colored eyes.

“What…what were gonna ask before?” Steve said quietly, watching Eddie’s fingers rake over his jeans, down his legs. He hoped they left trails of electricity.

Eddie licked his lips.

“Can I go down on you? Get you off?”

Eddie felt Steve’s toes curl against his sides, felt the irresistible twitch of his hips. He’d bounced them upward, let out a strangled sound. Steve was so warm, a hot little cage around him.

“Definitely.” Steve sighed, and in that same breath Eddie’s fingers were already on his belt buckle.

His button was next, then the zipper. Steve kept twitching as Eddie tugged it down. His hands floated and danced over Eddie’s shoulders, like he didn’t know where he wanted to put them.

“Fuck, Eds.”

Eddie yanked Steve’s pants off in record speed, bunched them down to his ankles and onto the floor. And there he was in his underwear, tented black boxers pulled taunt over his thick thighs.

“Pretty sure I’ve had this wet dream fifty times.” Eddie chuckled, but his voice was high and strained with anticipation. “…Can I?”

His fingertips ghosted over the waistband, tight elastic on Steve’s skin. Steve’s stomach contracted in response.

“Yeah,” He nodded, mesmerized. His hands had finally settled onto Eddie’s shoulders. Then, whinier, “Please, yeah.”

Eddie pulled them down too, heat swirling through him.

And shit if Steve Harrington didn’t have the nicest cock he’d ever seen.

Eddie wasted no time. He pressed into the couch, as close as he could get, boxed in by Steve’s legs, and touched him. He was going to make true that promise of rocking his fucking world.

Steve groaned, punched-out, voice sexy, rough, and raw. His chin dropped forward onto his chest, looking down at Eddie through a fog of arousal, tickling against his chest hair. They’d barely done anything and it was already cranked up to ten.

Steve’s eyes were half-lidded, cheeks flushed. His tongue poked out to wet his lips. Eddie squeezed his own knees together, feigned pressure on his desperate body.

“Goddamn,” Eddie breathed. He’d waited way too fucking long for this; he knew there should’ve been more foreplay, more sweet nothings, more learning each other’s bodies, but Steve was already pumping into his hand, and Eddie just couldn’t take it.

He took Steve’s dick into his mouth, earning another mind-blowing sound of praise. The hands on his shoulders jumped right into his hair, strong and wild.

“Sh-it.” Steve gasped, squeezing tighter. Eddie couldn’t see him anymore, eyes closed, but he felt every micro-movement, every tense muscle under his hands. He splayed one over Steve’s lower stomach and held his cock in the other, stroking and sucking in a steady pattern.

“Eddie.” Steve gathered his hair into two soft knots, tilted his hips and started to fuck slowly into his mouth. “Eddie, fuck, babe.”

“Babe” lit a fire under him, made Eddie pick up the pace. He widened his jaw, gripped Steve’s hip and pulled forward with rhythm, encouraging him to go faster. Steve growled under his breath, fucking whimpered.

“I’ve never had head this good. Shit.” Steve choked out as his dick slid against the inside of Eddie’s cheek. He worked him over with his tongue, pulled out every trick in the book. Eddie slipped his hand back and lightly cupped Steve’s balls.

Steve’s hips stuttered with another stifled noise. Eddie opened his eyes, preening at the way Steve threw his head back.

“F-Fuck, you’ve gotta stop or I’m gonna come already.” Steve told him, breath choppy. “Like stupid fast.”

“That’s the point, sweetheart.” Eddie whispered against his skin, pausing to catch his breath. He traced one finger down the entire wet length of Steve, enjoying the way he shuddered.

“No shit.” Steve laughed, sweet like music. His dick jumped in response to Eddie’s touch. “But you need a turn too.”

Eddie hummed, languidly licked the head of Steve’s cock between his next sentences.

“Is that why all the ladies loved you? You always made sure they got theirs, right?”

Eddie sucked him off, teasing and unrelenting. He alternated between using his mouth slowly and jacking him fast with his hand. Steve was fucking mewling.

“Maybe it’s your turn to be a pillow princess for once, Stevie.”

Steve’s entire body tensed tight like a rubber band.

“Oh, fuck,” He cried, then huffed hot breath sharply through his nose.

“You like me calling you ‘princess’?” Eddie asked delicately, not slowing down the jerk of his hand. He wanted to watch Steve when he finished. And no, they hadn’t really discussed that yet, pet names or dirty talk, but it was tumbling out naturally and Steve was eating it up, apparently.

“Eddie, I’m—fuck—”

“You’d better be, baby.” Eddie panted, sitting up higher on his knees for more leverage and a better view. The sound of rubbing Steve’s spit-slick cock made his own ache in his pants.

Steve looked like a fucking painting, strung out in an art museum, but Eddie wanted to be the only spectator.

“God, you’re gorgeous, Steve.” He told him, because Jesus Christ, he was.

Steve couldn’t manage a response, back arching like a bow. His thighs had Eddie locked in, he was trembling all over. He slid a shaky hand down from Eddie’s hair to hold his cheek. Eddie licked the thumb that fell against his lips, and then Steve came, hard and loud, entire body quivering.

“Fuckfuckfuck.” Steve wailed. He finished onto his own abdomen, sticky with sweat. His hands clenched Eddie weakly, riding it out, and then drooped to his sides. Eddie kept pace until he was entirely spent.

“Shit.” Steve breathed, once the rise and fall of his chest had slowed. He looked at Eddie with sparkly eyes, where tears of pleasure had pricked at the corners. “That was—God. I—I can’t promise I can do that for you, but, fuck. I wanna try.”

“You’ll get there. We just have to practice.” Eddie teased, plopping a kiss onto Steve’s knee. “Lemme get you something to clean up, hold—”

Steve stopped him with a hand on the wrist, “Just leave it. We’re only gonna get messier.”

Eddie couldn’t hide the half-moan that toppled out of him.

“Shit, okay.” Eddie wrestled out of the yellow top, tossed it across the room. “Guess we’re done with this then. Wouldn’t wanna get my favorite sweater messy, right?”

He stood up, still between Steve’s legs.

“These too.” Steve murmured, sitting up to help untie Eddie’s joggers. His hands brushed over Eddie’s bulge as he pulled his pants down. Eddie bit back animal sounds.

“You thought you weren’t gonna last long?” Eddie laughed, standing in front of Steve Harrington with his pants around his ankles. There was already a wet spot on his light blue boxers. “This is gonna be extra embarrassing.”

“At least it’s not your first time touching another guy’s dick.” Steve soothed lightly, cheeks dusted pink from orgasm and shyness. He barreled through like a bull in a china shop though, and pulled down Eddie’s underwear without pause.

“That makes it even sexier, Steve.” Eddie stuttered out, surging with arousal. He stepped out of his pants and boxers, kicked them to the side, and stared with an open mouth as Steve touched him.

Sparks fucking flew. His brain collapsed in on itself.

“Tell me if—if I do something wrong, or something.” Steve asked quietly, looking up at him from his place still-seated on the couch. He ran his hand up and down Eddie, who fought to keep upright. His knees were weak, already in a hazy cloud from bringing Steve to bliss.

“You could do no wrongs right now, baby.” Eddie’s eyes rolled into the back of his goddamn head. Steve had never been with another guy, but he’d probably been with himself a million times, and it really wasn’t that different, he’d catch on quick.

Steve slipped over him with mind-numbing pressure, fast, slow, fast, slow.

“Can you make it wet?” Eddie felt himself ask, ears ringing. It didn’t even seem real; Steve Harrington giving him a handjob in their shared living room with his own cum dripping down his stomach. Eddie had done that.

“Oh, yeah,” Steve answered shakily. Because he’d already finished but this was fucking him up too, Eddie could see it. Steve wasn’t hard again but he was squirming.

Steve puffed out his cheek and then spit right where his hand connected with Eddie’s dick. And then he was gliding, smooth and easy. The sound was heavenly.

“Baby.” Eddie keened. His heart jackrabbited against his ribcage. He was two fucking seconds from crumbling to the floor. “Goddamn.”

“Not such a pillow princess now, am I?” Steve joked, confidence growing. He shuffled to the edge of the couch, scooting closer. Eddie short-circuited, drank in the proximity.

Steve looped around to feel Eddie’s hip. Squeezed Eddie’s ass.

“Ah, fuck.” Eddie let one of his hands drop to double team his dick, jerked himself off in tune with Steve, their fingers twined. It was slippery, sexy, he was stupidly close.

“Am I doing good? You like it?” Steve asked in a whisper, tilting his chin up for approval. His eyes were glassy and shiny. His mouth was so goddamn red.

“Jesus Christ, yeah, so good. Shit.” Eddie bent at the waist, locking lips with his boyfriend, happiness bursting in him brightly against white-hot sensuality. Steve opened his mouth to him. He kissed him faster, sloppier. It was building, more frantic and raunchy, eager, almost disgusting, the way they were kissing, the way their hands were moving, it was too much, too good—

And Eddie was finishing too, with a string of curse words, accidentally all over Steve’s chest.

“Shit, sorry, fuck.” He apologized, as soon as his mind was clear. Eddie breathed hard, the knot in his abdomen finally unfurling. He leaned one hand onto Steve’s sturdy shoulder for balance.

“It’s okay, I promise.” Steve returned with a laugh. He kissed the inside of Eddie’s wrist, peppered more along his forearm. “I…kinda…like it?”

Eddie wheezed, pleasantly surprised. “Fuck, man.”

He dropped a heavy kiss into Steve’s hair in response. “God, don’t get me going on round two, Harrington. That was crazy enough. Let me actually get you a towel this time.”

But getting a towel turned into just taking a shower instead, and a shower turned into, most definitely, round two.

***

They decided to sleep in Eddie’s bed that night; cozy and close. It was unfamiliar, sleeping beside somebody else. Eddie occasionally knocked out next to his friends, but there wasn’t the intimacy of, like, cuddling. It was so goddamn nice.

He pulled Steve to his chest, nose in his hair. He couldn’t wait to get used to this. Even if Steve snored.

“Hey, Steve?” Eddie was on the edge of exhaustion. His lava lamp made soft, blobbed colors on the wall. Sue him, if sometimes he needed a night light. He appreciated that Steve didn’t mind.

“Yeah?” Steve said quietly into his t-shirt, voice just as heavy. He had one leg curved over Eddie’s knees and an arm thrown over his midsection. They’d melded together into one being.

Eddie held his breath a moment, traced a finger carefully down Steve’s spine. Maybe this wasn’t the most romantic moment in the world, but it was crackling warmly inside him like a campfire.

“…I love you.”

There was a beat of quiet, Steve calculating, shaking sleep from his head to respond. He tipped his face and looked up at Eddie with a beautiful kaleidoscope of emotion.

In the glow of the lava lamp, in their tiny, cramped, twin XL bed, Steve smiled.

“I love you, too, Eddie.”

***

The weeks flew by, toppled into months. January whizzed past as they settled into new classes, and half of February went with it. Eddie and Steve kept their relationship quiet, personal, intimate. Only Robin and Nancy knew on campus, and they absolutely loved to give them shit about it when they went on “double dates.”

Chrissy called once a week, always wanting to hear updates about school, and the new ‘loveee development,’ as she called it. She’d quizzed Steve about Eddie’s favorite things, to ensure he could stand up to bat.

“Because I’ll still claim him at thirty, if I have to.” She’d told them with a giggle.

Uncle Wayne and Michelle FaceTimed often, showed them the beautiful new house, and a ratty, little dog that Wayne pretended to be annoyed by but was secretly smitten with. He requested to call Steve “alone” once, and that gave Eddie a heart attack, but Steve insisted it “hadn’t been a big deal,” and he was “just looking out for him.”

They went out together, as much as they always had, but now they’d hook ankles under the table. Or Steve would prop his arm behind Eddie’s shoulders on the back of a bench. It was all very squint-and-miss-it, very careful. But sometimes, walking to class together, their pinkies would brush, and Eddie would almost implode.

He wanted to be out, both of the closet and out of their crappy, conservative college town. He wanted to climb on the belltower and scream that Steve Harrington was his fucking boyfriend.

But he’d wait forever. He’d never do that, if that’s what Steve wanted. He’d keep him all to himself. Because that was just as good.

And they made out a lot.

On every surface of the dorm, every time they were alone, every moment possible. One of them would get home from class and they’d jump. They hadn’t actually had sex yet but, hell, Eddie would wait forever on that too. He worshipped the ground Steve walked on, with or without it.

Eddie actually had Steve up on the kitchenette counter, frisky, feeling up his naked torso, when someone pounded on their dorm door.

“How many more times is the RA going to warn you for your music before you’re written up, you think?” Steve giggled into Eddie’s jaw, before licking playfully above his collarbone. They never gave each other visible hickies, but today was cutting it close.

“Notice how they only knock when my music plays, too.” Eddie rolled his eyes. He unglued himself from Steve and swabbed his neck with a dish towel. “I’m being targeted.”

“Shut the hell up.” Steve laughed, swatting him in the chest. Eddie helped him shimmy off the counter and they each adjusted their pants.

“I mean it!” Eddie defended. Once confident he looked decent, he sauntered to the door, bumping down his speaker on the way. Steve slithered into his own bedroom to pull on a t-shirt.

Eddie unlatched the lock, pulled the door open.

“Sorry about the—”

Dustin positively barged into the threshold, shoving past him with a determined expression. Max, El, and Lucas trailed behind, like they all owned the place.

“Jesus, what’s up with you?” Steve stepped into the living room space, eyebrow raised. He’d pulled on one of Eddie’s band tees, which, hopefully the kids weren’t privy to that.

Dustin held up a red folder, chocked-full of printer paper. Then he threw himself on the couch.

“This!”

“Dustin had an idea.” El explained, delicately sitting in the armchair across from him.

Lucas grinned enthusiastically. “A great idea!”

“I wouldn’t call it that, but it’s an idea.” Max rolled her eyes, sitting on Dustin’s other side. Lucas took the last spot, and Eddie and Steve were forced to stand in their own home.

“Okayyy, wanna elaborate?” Eddie asked, before dragging in a dining chair to join the circle. Steve stood and observed, hands on his hips.

“So,” Dustin cheesed, “I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?”

“Good news.” Steve requested, which, ugh, no.

“—No, don’t listen to him. Bad news first, always.” Eddie felt Steve glare daggers at the side of his head.

“Okay, okay.” Dustin stormed through. Beside him, Max had crossed her arms. Lucas kept gesturing, encouraging him to continue. El watched the whole thing with a soft smile.

He spoke quickly. “Bad news: Suzie can’t go on a spring break trip in March now. Her parents said if she’s coming here for summer then they can’t afford spring break too, plus she has to watch her little siblings who also won’t have school.”

Eddie nodded when he didn’t continue.

“All right, uh, Dustin, while I’m sure that’s soul-crushing for you, how does it affect the rest of us?” He inquired.

Dustin was literally vibrating in his seat. He smiled the biggest smile Eddie had ever seen.

“Because I planned us the greatest spring break trip ever instead. We aren’t going to fucking Kansas, no sirree.” He gripped the folder in his hands and raised it up to the heavens. “If we all pitch in money, we can go to Florida!”

“Oh, Jesus Christ.” Steve sighed, immediately pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Florida?” Eddie made a face. “Not to rain on your parade dude, but, why? It’s hot, and sandy, and full of old people. And like, alligators.”

“But isn’t it the dream spring break?” Lucas vouched, shaking Dustin’s shoulder. “It’s where everybody goes in the movies. Spring break is supposed to have sand and sun.”

“How much money is this, can you even afford a trip to Florida?” Steve snatched the folder from Dustin’s hands and started flipping through. “—Wow, you already made an itinerary and everything, okay.”

“It sounds like a lot of fun.” El chimed in. “I have never been. Nancy and Robin said they will go, too. Robin said to tell you ‘pleeeeaasseee.’”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Eddie laughed, shook his head. “Who all’s already agreed to this? Mike, Will, Jon, Argyle? Are we the last ones?”

Nobody said a word.

“Oh, so our decision is the deal breaker, right?” Eddie sighed. “Make us the bad guys?”

Dustin stood again to grab back his folder. He deposited it into Eddie’s hands.

“We knew you’d be the hardest sell?” He laughed awkwardly. “Look, we need everybody to go or we can’t afford it, Steve’s right. We’re splitting two big hotel rooms and Lucas’ mom knows somebody who works at the airport that can get us a group deal—c’monnnn. It’s your last big hurrah!”

“He’s right!” Lucas piped up again. “Once you’re a boring, washed-up adult you never get a spring break ever again.”

Steve deadpanned. “I literally plan to work for a school, that’s not—”

“Shut up, Steve!”

“Even I wanna go, I guess.” Max finally said. “It’s no California beach, but, it should be fun, right?” She looked between Eddie and Steve, searching.

Eddie blew out a breath, flicking the pages in the folder. He felt everyone’s eyes burning on him. He hadn’t really planned on going anywhere for spring break, maybe just lying in bed with Steve and scanning the country for anywhere cool and affordable on apartments dot com.

But, that would’ve been kind of lame. Dustin had a point.

And he had put a lot of work into this. Several hotels were printed out and scratched through. Rows of flights were highlighted and starred. There were pages of beach descriptions, local restaurants, photos of iguanas. (Florida had iguanas?) Blocks of notes were scribbled in all the margins.

“…Yeah, okay.” Eddie shrugged, only mildly resigned. “Why not?”

“Yooo!” Dustin cheered. He looped Eddie into a bone-crunching hug, then spun around.

“Steve? What say you?!”

“Well, I guess—”

“Weeee also need to put down the reservations on your credit card because nobody else has a high enough credit limit, so please say yes.”

Steve squawked. “Oh, so I’m just—”

All the kids immediately placated him, rushing to insist that, no, he wasn’t invited out of necessity.

Steve grumbled. “All right, all right, fine, brats.—But if I’m paying, we get our own room. I’m not cramming into a sweatbox with you gremlins for a week. Fuck it, I’ll get Nancy and Robin a room, and Jonathan and Argyle a room. The grown-ups can be comfortable and you can all fight it out to not be on the pull out couch.”

“Aw, c’mon, you’re not paying for it. You’re just…paying for it temporarily and then we’ll all Venmo you when we can.” Dustin explained with a guilty laugh.

“Mmhm.”

“I like Steve’s idea.” Eddie smirked. He kicked his feet up onto the coffee table. “Have fun in baby jail.”

“This is gonna be sick!” Lucas whipped his phone out. “Texting my mom right now, we’ll get the flights booked.”

“Yeah, yeah, good idea, Henderson.” Steve plopped a heavy hand on Dustin’s head and ruffled his hair. “Thanks for coming up with it.”

“Oh, man, I’m hyped! I still wish Suzie could go, but we’ve got like, three more years of college for that. God, this is gonna be epic!”

***

It didn’t start out very epic. They all packed their bags and jammed into Ubers for the airport two short weeks later. But Robin forgot a medication, so one van had to turn around. And then Mike couldn’t find his wallet, so he had to unpack his entire suitcase in the bag check area, holding them all up. And then the airline tickets weren’t reading on the scanners, so Steve had to sweet-talk the flight attendant into letting them go airside until Lucas’ mom’s friend could vouch for them and get it sorted.

(Which, Eddie knew the flirting was only situational, purely essential, but it prickled up his spine the wrong way and put him into a grumpy mood.)

They all wolfed down overpriced McDonald’s, finally boarded the plane, and then they were stuck on the tarmac for fifty-five minutes because of a weather delay.

“If we get all the way there and it rains the whole time, I’m gonna be pissed.” Eddie muttered, slouching onto Nancy’s shoulder. He’d ended up in a row with her and Robin, where Steve, Dustin, and Will were across the aisle. The others were all behind or in front of them, scattered.

“Then we’ll just drink strawberry daiquiris and sit in the hot tub.” Robin supplied, while she scanned through a word search. She tapped a pen against her teeth.

“The hot tub would also be outside, in the rain.”

“Lighten up, Munson.” Nancy flicked him. “It’s nice to just leave Indiana.”

Eddie and Steve hadn’t actually told Nancy and Robin about the plans to move after graduation yet, either. It was a sore subject, it would be hard to bring up. They both knew everyone would be sad and sour over it, so they just kept putting it off.

“Yeah.” He mumbled. Eddie rolled his head back, onto the seat, and switched over to look at Steve, Dustin, and Will. The three had their faces hunched together, watching a video on Dustin’s phone.

“I see the appeal, I guess, but where did that person even get a hydraulic press?” He heard Steve ask. “Like, yeah, it’s really cool seeing them squish different stuff under that, but seems really random? Did they build it just for TikTok?”

“You can buy anything on Amazon.” Will shrugged.

Eddie was about to join the conversation because he felt bad that he’d been giving Steve the cold shoulder since the dumb flirting thing, when the plane finally started to reverse. The pilot announced that they needed to secure their tray tables and fasten their seatbelts.

Eddie shut his eyes. “Hallelujah.”

***

Florida was a hell of a lot hotter than any of them anticipated. Even in March, temps in the nineties had them squinting and sweating just walking from the lobby to the rooms. The humidity was a wet blanket in the air, poofing Eddie’s hair into an unruly loofah. He’d already tied it into a topknot.

“Almost feels like Cali, man.” Argyle grinned into the sky. “I forget the sunshine exists sometimes in Indiana.”

“It is beautiful here.” El agreed. “Very hot, but very pretty. I am so excited to see the beach!”

They shuffled through the corridors, each lugging a rolling suitcase.

It was a stretch to call the hotel a “resort.” It wasn’t a Motel Six, but it wasn’t the Ritz Carlton, either. Eddie thought it was charming though. Four long, orange buildings had dozens of doors that opened to the outside, with miniscule balconies on the back ends. They were three stories tall each.

Fish and ocean patterns were painted on limestone sidewalks, flowing into a main courtyard. The buildings all faced into a large swimming pool, flanked by a jacuzzi on each side. Rows and rows of lounge chairs waited in the sun, some occupied by other guests or towel placeholders. Umbrellas speckled the area. Eddie definitely wanted an umbrella, he’d fry otherwise.

“It’s not that crowded, so that’s cool.” Will observed, scanning the place. Some other groups of college-aged kids leaned against the bar. It was a straw-roofed tiki hut, decorated with turtles and liquor bottles, sitting on the far side of the pool. Next to it, a pedestrian gate led to the beach. Eddie could see the sand on the horizon, caught the blue gleam of the ocean.

“Probably because there’s a fancy Marriott down the road.” Jonathan laughed, tossing an arm around Will’s shoulders. “We got the place to ourselves mostly.”

“What’s our game plan?” Lucas adjusted his backpack. “Get settled, hit the beach in thirty?”

“That sounds good. Make sure you guys all put on sunscreen.” Nancy reminded them. She put out an arm, gently stopping Robin at one of the doors. “We’re in this one. Where’s everybody else?”

“Me and Argyle are farther down, almost near the water.” Jonathan answered, gesturing to the other end of the hall.

“I think we’re on the second floor.” Mike replied, checking the small portfolio the key card was in. “Did you bring sunscreen I can borrow, Nancy?”

His sister rolled her eyes. “You came all the way to another state, to the beach, and seriously didn’t bring any?”

Mike pouted and grumbled. “You can only fly with those tiny bottles, dude!”

Steve cut in before the argument exploded, “I brought some, and aloe, for when one of you inevitably burns. I’ll bring it when we go out. And we’re up on floor three.”

“Momma Steve coming through.” Robin leaned over and kissed Steve’s cheek while Nancy swiped their door open. A blast of cool air wafted from inside, temptingly. “See you guys in a bit.”

The groups split off, Dustin leading a sprint with Lucas to the second floor room all the kids were cramming in. Mike, Will, Max, and El followed behind, much slower. Argyle and Jonathan both waved and trekked ahead.

Eddie climbed after Steve up a soggy staircase, the next section over. He couldn’t fucking wait to change out of his jeans.

Much to his astonishment, their room was at the very end, top floor, the corner suite facing the ocean.

“Jesus, Steve, how much did you pay for this?” Eddie frowned as Steve opened the door. “I feel like I did not Venmo you enough.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it.”

It wasn’t anything huge or extravagant, but a king bed commanded attention in the center of the room. Yellow curtains were knotted open, revealing a balcony with two rattan chairs. Waves shushed and crashed along the shore outside. And on the dresser was a bottle of champagne, with two plastic glasses.

Guilt wormed through Eddie’s stomach. He’d been kind of a grouch since they left campus and meanwhile Steve had arranged this cute little oasis.

“What’s the champagne for?” Eddie asked, placing his backpack on the bed. He pushed his luggage against the side table. Steve dumped his own bags on the other side.

Steve shrugged, “Just because. I dunno. Guess it’s kinda dumb.”

“No, no,” Eddie furrowed his brow and stepped closer, grabbing both of Steve’s wrists. “It’s romantic, it’s sweet.—This is all really nice, babe…Sorry I’ve been kind of…”

“Weird?” Steve supplied. His mouth was a sloped, sad line. “You’ve barely said a word to me in, like, hours. What’s wrong?”

Eddie smoothed his thumbs over Steve’s skin, a motion that mostly soothed himself. The guilty worm expanded tenfold. “…Well now I feel dumb. I’ve been all moody over nothing. I was being stupid, like, you organized this nice room for us, of course—”

Steve chewed his lip. “I know. So I don’t know why you’re being—"

“It was the stupid flight attendant,” Eddie admitted quickly, wincing at how ridiculous he sounded. “I mean, I was annoyed before we even got to the airport because of everyone slowing us down, but then you, like, flirted with her to get us all airside, and—"

“Wait, what are you talking about?” Steve flipped their hands, caught Eddie’s in his own. He didn’t sound angry, just confused. “When did I flirt with a flight attendant?”

Eddie squeezed his palms like a lifeline. “…The redhead. Y’know.”

Steve deflated.

“Aw, Eds,” Steve shook his head, “No, shit, I’m sorry it came across like that, I was just…schmoozing? I didn’t mean to…”

Steve dropped Eddie’s hands, instead cupped each side of his face. He thankfully ignored the beads of sweat on Eddie’s temples.

“I love you, Eddie.” Steve told him, steadfast. “I only want you. I definitely was not intentionally flirting with that chick.”

“I know, I know.” Eddie sighed. Tension drifted out of his chest like wispy smoke, melting into Steve’s gaze. “I was letting my own anxiety get to me.”

Steve sprinkled kisses all over his face, tugging him closer and closer. Eddie couldn’t hide the giggles that broke out, let himself be entwined. The ocean flowed outside, calmed them.

“I get it,” Steve said eventually. He held Eddie, cheeks pushed together. “I’m the one who’s…hiding you, y’know? Like, maybe she was flirting back, I don’t know. I’m oblivious to it now, because I’m only thinking about you, but she didn’t know that I’m…with you…”

Steve’s voice softened, regretful. “…Nobody does.”

Eddie shook him lightly. “This wasn’t the point of the conversation, sweetheart, you know there’s no urgency on that. I was just being insecure.”

Steve squished him tighter in retaliation. “I know it wasn’t the point, but maybe it was like, a driver?”

“Stevie—”

“Look, let’s…wanna start over?”

“Huh?”

“The trip? Wanna start over?”

Eddie smirked, smushed his face into Steve’s neck.

“Yeah.”

Without warning, Steve catapulted the two of them onto the bed. The sage-green comforter scratched Eddie’s arms, throw pillows went flying. The mattress squeaked in protest. They fell into a stream of laughter, wrestled until Steve was on top of Eddie, settled on his hips. He shook off his unease like dust and cobwebs.

“Hey, look at that, we made it to Florida. You like the room?” Steve teased, floofy hair falling into his eyes. Thin beams of sunlight cast through the sliding glass door, onto the pair of them.

“Love the room.” Eddie told him, wiggling his fingers under Steve’s shirt. He stroked his lower stomach. “Love the bed.”

“We’re definitely making use of it.” Steve nosed under Eddie’s jaw, lightly sucking his favorite spot. His breath tickled. “Maybe that’s what the champagne’s for, actually. Little celebration. Always good for special occasions…”

Steve nuzzled him, pressed a kiss to his lips.

“For firsts.”

Shivers erupted through Eddie, goosebumps zipping down his skin. He gaped up at his boyfriend, who looked absolutely devilish.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Eddie screwed his eyes shut. “You were letting me be a sad sappy bitch when your plan was to fuck this week?—Jesus Christ, I’m a mood killer. I feel like an ass.”

“You’re not.” Steve sat up, leaning back onto Eddie’s thighs. “You didn’t know.”

“Definitely didn’t know, or I would’ve packed very differently.”

“I already got everything. Quit worrying, Eds. I just want you to enjoy the trip, I just want you to—to…”

Steve stared at him, eyes shifting to something complex. His handsome face contorted into something solemn again.

“I want you to know I want you, all the time. I love you. I care about you. I fucking…cherish you, or something cliché like that.”

A pleased sound bubbled out of Eddie. “I do know that, baby.”

“No, like I really mean it. I’ve fucked up a few relationships but I don’t wanna do that with this one. Like—ever, okay?”

Steve was suddenly lit aflame, resolute.

“I wanna tell all our friends soon. Maybe—like, maybe not this week, but really soon. And I wanna take you to formal in April. As my date, not as my roommate. As my boyfriend.”

Eddie blinked and raised his eyebrows, caught off guard.

“Whoa, like, frat formal? Be the belle of the ball?”

“Yeah, the,” Steve laughed at the phrase. “The belle of the ball. Would you wanna do that?”

Eddie skated his hands over Steve’s knees. He rubbed small circles there.

“Yeah, honey, I’d love to do that, but only if it’s what you really want. You don’t have to, like, sacrifice your own wellbeing and self-preservation for our relationship. I know all those things already. I also know it’s hard being openly gay in Bumfuck, Indiana.”

“You do it, though.” Steve debated gently.

“That’s…different. Everybody’s different. You don’t have to ‘prove’ anything, okay? Promise me it’s not that.”

“No, it’s not that.” Steve slunk down, laid on top of Eddie so they were chest-to-chest. The rise and fall of their lungs fell into rhythm. “It’s because I love you. I want everyone to know I’m yours and you’re mine.—Plus, we’re leaving Bumfuck, Indiana in a few months anyway. I don’t—I don’t give a shit what people think. We’re starting fresh somewhere else soon.”

Eddie hummed, trickled his fingers over Steve’s back. Steve’s conviction warmed him. Their friends, first, would be a good baby step. Because if things went south with other people, Steve definitely would give a shit. But Eddie tried to imagine it going all right. His head floated with dreams of the future.

“Okay.” Eddie whispered into the crown of his head. “Whatever you want. Do I have to wear a suit?”

“Yeah, obviously, it’s formal.”

“Hmm. Might have to pass then, sorry.”

Steve pinched him, eliciting a yelp. They tumbled on the bed again, this time Eddie flipping Steve onto his back. He pinned him down by the wrists. Steve wriggled, laughing despite the restraint.

“You have to get a suit for graduation anyway, dick.”

“Nah. Gonna walk in my birthday suit.”

“Guess I’d actually like to see that.” Steve grinned, swooping up for a kiss.

They meshed mouths and slanted against each other, sinking into tongues and quiet moans. Eddie was three seconds from yanking Steve’s pants off when the group chat starting pinging.

“Ugh,” He complained, climbing woefully off Steve. “We’re not done here, y’know.”

“Oh, I know.”

Eddie checked his phone, assaulted with messages.

Can somebody bring snacks when you come to beach Max had texted followed by several more responses.

Don’t forget your towels – Jonathan

What kind of snacks u want? – Lucas

My room key already isn’t working lol I had it next to my phone – Mike

Chips or El says cheezits – Max again

Has anyone seen my sunglasses? Theyre pink with flowers – Robin

Ok – Lucas also again

“Good God, it’s like juggling jello.” Eddie sighed. “Why are we like this? So dysfunctional.”

Eddie turned back to Steve, who was in the shortest fucking swim trunks he’d ever seen. Mid-thigh, navy, covered in flamingos and palm trees. He’d paired it with a green gym tank, had a floral towel over his shoulders.

“Excuse me?” Eddie gawked, “You think you can just wear those around me? The fuck? It’s like the Scoops Ahoy uniform all over again. You’re being a slutty little tease.”

Steve pushed his sunglasses into his hair, ignoring the slutty tease comment for his own sake. “I still can’t believe Robin showed you all those pictures. Worst summer of my life.”

“More like best summer of your life, I wish we knew each other better in high school.”

“Also, these swim trunks are normal?” Steve combatted, digging in his bag for small bottles of sunblock. He set the aloe on the counter for later. “They’re Chubbies. Everyone wears them.”

Eddie sidled up to him, tried to snatch Steve by the waist. He evaded, the jerk. “Get changed, we can makeout later.”

“You’re giving me a chubbie, all right.”

Steve laughed, tossed a bottle of sunscreen at Eddie’s head. “Fucking gross, man.”

“Fine, fineee.”

They finally left the hotel room some fifteen minutes later, freshly slathered in sunscreen (probably in places that didn’t need it, either). Eddie’s black, striped trunks from Walmart weren’t as exciting, nor was his white t-shirt. He tamed back his hair with a skull bandana and donned cheap, gas station sunglasses.

“There you guys are!” Dustin called when they trekked down to the beach. They’d made a pit stop at the bar, each with a cool beer in hand.

“Sorry man, needed refreshments.” Eddie explained.

He panned around the shore, took in the sights. The air was warm, rucked up with pleasant breeze. When Eddie breathed, it tasted sharp and salty. Seagulls swooped above them between the bright rays of sun.

Mike, Max, and El were up to their shoulders in the ocean, splashing and diving playfully. Jonathan, Argyle, and Will were sitting in the shallows. Under an umbrella, at their basecamp, Robin and Nancy lazed in two lounge chairs.

Dustin was soaking wet already, leaning over his drawstring bag to dig out a baseball cap. He stuffed it on his head.

“The water’s great. Come swim with us! Lucas went to get snacks but he’ll be right back too!”

“Henderson, Henderson, Henderson.” Eddie tsked and collapsed carefully in the vacant chair next to Robin. He didn’t spill a drop. “Don’t you know my pale complexion will be the first to go? I’ll turn into a lobster out there.”

“So you’re not gonna swim at all?” He asked, looking at Eddie like he grew two heads.

“Oh, I am!” Eddie assured. “Just not at high noon.”

“Lame. Steve, you wanna?”

Steve set his bag and towel by Eddie’s feet. He twisted off his tank top, and Eddie tried not to stare with animalistic desire. “Yeah, sure, why not. Eds, don’t drink my beer.”

“Can’t promise.” He smirked, when Steve set the bottle in the chair cupholder.

“Can I drink it though?” Robin looked up from a book. It seemed she had found her sunglasses. Nancy snoozed peacefully beside her with a straw sunhat over her face.

“Hmm, also no.” Steve pet Robin’s hair and followed after Dustin, who was running ahead and screaming, “Spring break, hell yeah!”

“We could split the beer.” Eddie suggested, when Steve was out of earshot.

Robin seized it, plucking it from the cupholder to take a swig.

“You have your own already, dingus.”

She marked the place in her book and set it on her lap.

“Touché.”

“You’re already stealing my sweet Steven away yourself, so allow me to steal his booze.”

Eddie paused, drink to his lips. He lowered the bottle and looked over to Robin. She’d built a bunch of sandy hills around her feet. He tracked her eyes, watched her watch Steve wading into the ocean.

“…What’s that supposed to mean?” Eddie asked, heart twinging uncomfortably. He hadn’t meant to be like, hogging Steve, or something. Had they turned into one of those couples? They were like, fifteen minutes late to coming down, that wasn’t that bad, right?

“Am I being like, overbearing?” He asked self-consciously. “Do you think we spend too much time together? Be honest, because I don’t wanna be too clingy. The novelty of it just hasn’t worn off.—I don’t think it ever will.”

“No, silly.” Robin laughed, and the sound reminded him of windchimes. “Not at all. You make Steve so happy.”

Her eyes cast over to him again. He was dunking the shit out of Dustin in the waves. Will took a video.

“And I know he makes you happy too.” Robin continued. “I just…”

She swished the beer, looked down at the long copper neck of the bottle. Her eyes trailed over to Nancy, who hadn’t stirred. She was tranquil, wrapped in a thin blue sarong.

“Both of us…are really gonna miss you two. Nothing will ever be the same.”

Eddie’s heart sank.

“Robs, w-what are you—”

“Oh, c’mon, Munson.” She swatted his knee. “Don’t give me that.”

Her freckled face pulled down in a soft frown.

“I just know…Steve’s been pulling away from me. Only a tiny bit. So miniscule that a normal person wouldn’t notice, but we’re…like, soulmates, y’know? And he’s not doing it to be cruel.”

Robin’s eyes cut away, back to their friends in the distance. Max was on Steve’s shoulders now, and El on Mike’s. They were locked into a gnarly battle of chicken, Dustin refereeing. The others cheered.

“He’s doing it to prepare me, I think.” Robin sighed. “For separation. It’s like—senior year of high school all over again. Do you know how bad it sucked without Steve there? And—and now it’s almost worse because we’ve known each other even longer, we’re like two plants that share the same roots and we’re all tangled up together. I don’t know what I’ll do without him.—Or you, I love you too.”

“…But I’m no Steve Harrington.”

“You’re not.” She giggled, sniffed. “No, you’re not…But I also think Nancy’s dreading you leaving, too.”

“Well, still, wait a second,” Eddie tried to get himself together, to crumble up enough of an excuse. Prolonging the inevitable sucked, but it was better than facing it head-on.

“We never said we’re leaving, y’know? We don’t even know yet. We don’t have a plan. We don’t have jobs. Maybe we’ll stick around.”

“Edward.” Robin leveled him with a look. “Lying gets you nowhere with me.”

She poked him hard in the ribs, deposited Steve’s beer bottle back in the cupholder.

Eddie blew out a breath and sank further into the chair. Robin was too fucking observant for her own good. He ran a ringed hand over his face.

“Fine, fine.” He grumbled. “You’re right, okay? We were gonna tell everyone like, in a nice way.—And we still will. But…you’re right, yeah, we’re leaving Indiana…I’m…sorry.”

Robin picked a loose string on her coverup, looking like she knew that was true but it still sucked to hear.

“But we don’t have a place planned, or a date yet though, so, just…don’t be too sad yet, please…I already feel like we’re going to be harassed forever about it. It’s not an easy choice, Robs.”

Then.

“Wait, what? You and Steve are moving?”

Eddie spun around, horrified. Lucas stood behind the lounge chairs with an armful of snacks.

He looked like a kicked puppy. Like Eddie had stomped on his heart.

“After graduation? You’re leaving Indiana?”

Chapter Text

“Oh, fuck, Lucas—” Eddie gasped, balling up his fists and pummeling them into his eyeballs. “You weren’t supposed to hear that, man—shit.”

“‘Weren’t supposed to hear’—are you kidding?” Lucas frowned deeply, arms full of chip bags, Pop-Tarts, and candy packets. They crinkled when he tensed up. “You weren’t even gonna tell us? That’s in two months, Eddie! Were you guys just gonna walk across the stage and pack it up? What the hell, man.”

Robin shot her eyes between the two of them, chewing her lip. Nancy finally roused at the heightened volume.

“What’s wrong?” She mumbled, casting her hat into the sand, voice heavy with sleep.

“Eddie and Steve are leaving.” Lucas answered, before Eddie could even get a word out. His posture slumped.

“Like, the beach?”

“No, Indiana.”

Eddie set his beer down and pushed up to stand.

“Lucas, listen—”

“Why didn’t you just tell us?” Lucas dumped all the food into Nancy’s big beach bag. “I mean, we knew you guys weren’t gonna stay in our dumpy college town but I figured you’d go back to Hawkins, or, maybe Indianapolis, but, just totally leaving? And why is it a secret? C’mon, man!”

“You guys decided then?” Nancy asked quietly, looking up at Eddie with solemn acceptance. She’d known it too then.

“We haven’t—Jesus, we haven’t decided where or what we’re doing, please just chill a second, everybody.” Eddie made a slowing motion with his hands. “It’s a lot, okay? We were going to tell everyone and then Robin just guessed, that’s why we were talking about it now. It’s just—hard. We love you guys. We didn’t know how to tell you we’re leaving. It hurts us too.”

Lucas crossed his arms, more betrayed than angry. Eddie knew it was shitty, that they’d been hiding something so enormous from their closest friends, but how were they supposed to explain that they just couldn’t stay? How were they supposed to really explain without getting into all the nitty gritty details? It was as much his secret as it was Steve’s.

“I-I just am so bummed, man.” Lucas continued. “I thought we’d at least, like, see you guys on weekends and stuff.—What about Hellfire? What about stuff like this, random trips to Florida? This just sucks.”

“I know. I know, okay?” Eddie fiddled with his rings. “But we can FaceTime for Hellfire, we’ve done it before, and we’ll still see you guys sometimes. We can still take random trips, it’s not some goodbye forever.”

“I’d absolutely track you both down if it was goodbye forever.” Robin cut in.

“It’s just not the same.” Lucas sighed. “This sucks.—And seriously, why did you have to wait so long? You guys graduate in May. I literally just got initiated into Steve’s frat and I thought he could even help guide me next semester but you guys will be gone in two months.”

“You know Steve would pick up the phone any time, Lucas.” Robin reminded him gently. She looked between all of them, then reached up and caught Eddie’s hand. Her skin was smooth and soft where she brushed Eddie’s knuckles. In front of them, the ocean continued to swash along the shore. Eddie could hear their other friends laughing in the background.

A horrible, sudden ache squeezed inside him.

Lucas was right. It wouldn’t ever be the same.

Robin shook Eddie’s hand out, circling him back to reality. “This does really suck, for all of us. You’re completely right, Lucas. But we’ll be okay. And we’ll…learn to adapt. It’s…it’s a shitty part of growing up, all going different places, but it doesn’t mean we have to grow apart.”

This impromptu pep talk may have been more for Robin’s own benefit than Lucas’, Eddie realized.

Nancy offered a soft smile, directed it at Eddie. “And I’m sure we can all visit whenever we want, right?”

“That’s…” Eddie blew out a breath. “That’s the plan, yeah.”

Lucas grumbled, like he wasn’t thrilled with any of this but he’d accept it for now.

“So you’re gonna tell everyone else then, right?” He ventured. “Today?”

“Today?” Eddie squawked, “I mean, soon, yeah, but—”

“I do think you guys should, Eddie.” Nancy shrugged lightly. “The longer you wait the harder it’ll be.”

Eddie exhaled, pulled his hand from Robin’s grasp to squeeze the sides of his bandana.

“Maybe, I guess. Just…give me some time to think it through. And to talk to Steve. I don’t wanna ruin the trip and have everyone all pissed at us.—We still don’t even know our plan, like I said. Okay? Just please don’t tell them yet. We will, Lucas, just let me figure it out.”

“…All right, fine.”

“I’m sorry.” Eddie added quickly, crossing over to curl an arm over Lucas’ shoulders. “I really am.”

Lucas’ body relaxed as he resigned into the apology. “I know. And I forgive you, but I’m still gonna be mad about it.”

“That’s okay, man.”

There was a sudden flurry of movement in the corner of Eddie’s eye as everyone else swooped towards them from the water. He could hear Dustin singing something about “snack time.” Eddie squeezed Lucas’ shoulder and plopped back into his chair.

Max and El descended on the treat pile first, picking the best options. Dustin, Mike, and Will were next in line, with Steve, Jonathan, and Argyle bringing up the rear.

Steve was dripping wet and handsome, an ocean siren washed ashore. Eddie watched him rake a hand through his sopping hair and laugh at something Argyle said. He was pink, red, tan, golden already from the sunshine.

Mixed emotions gnawed through Eddie. Huge, all-encompassing, growing love for Steve. Biting, painful sadness, at leaving their friends—their family. Stinging, harsh fear of their anger, their rejection. Uncomfortable, jarring apprehension of the unknown. Overflowing, bursting joy for an exciting future.

Eddie put a hand to his stomach, queasy at the cocktail.

Steve caught his eye, still smiling about his conversation, but faltered when he saw Eddie’s expression. He paused and raised an eyebrow, as if asking, “What’s wrong?”

Eddie immediately waved him off, not wanting to ruin his afternoon. They could discuss things later. It was better now to soak in the last spring break they’d ever have.
Lucas held his tongue and split a bag of Doritos with Max, while El proudly showed everyone her and Will’s new collection of shiny shells. They were piled into a small plastic cup.

Steve picked up the last bag of Cheetos and returned to Eddie’s beach chair. He sat at the foot of it and shook his hair out like a dog, spraying Eddie and Robin with droplets. Nancy narrowly avoided the mess.

“Charming, Steven.” Robin rolled her eyes at him. “Very charming.”

“Mmhm. Just cooling you guys off.” He munched a Cheeto and retrieved his drink from the cupholder.

“Hey, who the hell drank my beer?”

***

They stayed out until sunset, when Mike started to get really paranoid about “shark feeding time.” So the group split, with plans to reconvene after showers for late-night ice cream. The looming promise to Lucas weighed heavily on Eddie’s mind, but he didn’t get a chance to bring it up because the moment they were back in the room, Steve pounced on him.

He tasted like salt, like straight-up sunlight, like a hint of coconut. He was still damp from the ocean, cool and stringy-haired, when he backed Eddie up to the bed. Eddie tried to relax and ignore the rocks in his gut as Steve pulled his shirt off.

Eddie kissed him back, slipped his hands over Steve’s sandy ribs and let himself be pushed onto the mattress. Steve rolled his hips into Eddie and mouthed his neck, practically purring like a fucking cat. They wiggled out of their swim trunks, never breaking contact. He could feel Steve shiver, either from the chugging AC unit in the hotel room, or from the anticipation of finally going further.

Eddie couldn’t muster it anymore, conflict churning through him. He really wanted to do this, but, not in the wrong frame of mind. He slowed down, carefully dragging his lips back to pull away. He squeezed Steve’s waist definitively, their usual cue to each other to say, “I’m done kissing now.”

Steve’s zero to sixty movements stuttered and he froze. He leaned back onto Eddie’s thighs and stared down at him with vulnerability.

“Did I do something wrong?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper. “I just thought you kept looking at me—”

“No, baby it’s not you at all.”

Steve shifted off his lap so they sat side by side in the bed, clad in nothing but boxers. Steve’s stuck to his thighs with leftover saltwater.

Eddie sat up and quickly caged Steve in his arms.

“Um,” Better to rip the band-aid off. “…Robin, Nancy, and Lucas know we’re moving, and I can’t stop feeling bad about it, and I don’t wanna have sex when I feel bad like this.”

Steve stiffened and made a tiny, unhappy sound. “Oh. Fuck.”

“That’s exactly what I said.” Eddie laughed, into his freckled shoulder. He tugged the blanket up so it cocooned around the both of them. “It was totally an accident. Nance was asleep, and Robin brought it up, she totally guessed it. I tried lying—which she saw right through—so I told her, yeah, we’ve moving, and Lucas was right behind us and I didn’t know. And then Nancy woke up. I’m sorry. It snowballed.”

Steve was quiet.

“And Lucas wants us to tell everyone else today, because he thinks it’s unfair we’ve been keeping it a secret, and Nancy and Robin agreed with him, so. Yeah.”

“Double fuck.” Steve screwed his eyes shut. He dropped his forehead against Eddie’s collarbone. “I don’t want to face this part, Eds. I literally just came to terms with deciding to come out to them, this is a fucking double whammy.”

“Well, we only have to do one part so for now, it’s a single whammy. I know it sucks, but they’re right. It’s not cool to keep hiding it, two months is really soon.”

Steve groaned, the sound of it reverberating on Eddie’s chest.

“We still don’t even know where we’re going or what we’re doing, it’s—”

“Hey, hey, hey.” Eddie hugged him tighter, squishing their torsos together. The bed was positively full of sand and the sheets were streaked with sunscreen. In the dull lamplight, Eddie pushed Steve’s hair back.

“Let’s do one hard thing at a time. Don’t get worked up.—I’ve been worked up all day and the wanna-puke feeling sucks.”

“Man, I was already good worked up about having gay sex for the first fucking time and now it’s a different worked up.”

Eddie trailed kisses over Steve’s face, smiling. “We’re on a roller coaster today, huh? Maybe it’s better we wait a little bit. Cool down.”

“Yeah.” Steve exhaled. “So, what, we tell them when we get ice cream? Jesus, it’s gonna be brutal.”

“I know, I keep imagining Dustin’s face, like on a loop. He’s gonna cry, or kill us, or kill us while crying.”

Steve frowned deeper, burying his face. Eddie remembered earlier in the day, his suggestion to start over.

“Hey,” Eddie nudged him, “Like before, let’s start over. Let’s shower, makeout, and drink that champagne. Loosen up for it.”

Steve finally chuckled, one of Eddie’s favorite sounds. He snorted through his nose and the sickness inside Eddie finally started to ease off.

“That champagne is room temperature by now. That’s gross.”

Eddie threw the blanket off of them, quickly rolled out of bed. Steve held his knees and watched while Eddie swooped into the bathroom, and then slid out theatrically in a thin, starchy, white robe.

“I shall wear this most fine accessory the hotel provided and go get ice for us down the hall.” Eddie snatched the ice bucket off the little table and presented it like crowned jewels.

“You’re gonna put ice in the champagne?” Steve laughed, “Nancy would shit a brick.”

“Hey, Nance isn’t here, and it’s not my fault there isn’t a mini fridge in this room.” Eddie sauntered over like a runway model to get another giggle out of Steve, and plopped a kiss on his forehead.

“Get your cute little ass out of those waterlogged boxers and get in the shower, and I’ll be back with ice. We can split the bottle, turn up, and then facing our problems isn’t as hard.” Eddie smirked.

“Nice coping mechanism.” Steve teased.

“Isn’t it?”

They shared another kiss, one that lingered a little longer. Steve stood and stepped out of his boxers, but it didn’t have the same wild heat as before. Eddie still spanked him when he turned and walked towards the bathroom.

“Come in when you’re back.” Steve invited, before disappearing behind the door.

“Aye aye, captain.”

Eddie waddled into his flip flops and departed, bucket in tow. He flipped the lock on the door to prop it open and padded down to the far end of the hall, where the ice machine glowed, neon blue. He passed a few rooms where yellow light slanted from the curtains and television sounds blared.

Eddie held down the button and filled the bucket to the brim with ice. It tumbled loudly out of the chute, but his ears still picked up an entirely different racket from behind.

He spun around, stomach dropping in horror, when he saw all six of the kids within feet of their propped door. They had just ascended the stairs, Eddie could hear Dustin’s voice.

“No, Steve said he has aloe, so that means he’ll share it with me.”

“Oh, shit,” Eddie whispered. Then, louder, “Guys! Hey!”

They didn’t hear him, the fucking air conditioners and televisions were too loud, the mosquitos droned, cars honked on the street just below.

“Guys!”

No luck on the second try. Eddie kicked into gear and absolutely accelerated to get back. His feet slapped on the concrete as the kids pushed open the door he’d left open like a goddamn idiot. Eddie almost broke his ankle skidding on wet pavement.

“Dustin!” He called helplessly, but it was too fucking late.

Eddie screeched to a halt outside the door within seconds of the group filing in. He threw it open, almost smacking Mike in the arm.

“Dude!” Eddie gasped, “You can’t just let yourself in!”

Six pairs of eyes flew to him.

And Eddie knew what it looked like. He knew it was obvious.

One big room, one king bed, sheets mussed, clothes all over the fucking floor, champagne on the counter, Eddie himself in a fucking bath robe. It was a scene straight from a romance novel.

He almost dropped the ice.

“The door was cracked!” Dustin defended. “That usually means, ‘come on in’!”

“Why’s there only one bed?” Mike asked.

Max raised her eyebrow, “Are you naked under that?”

Then Eddie prayed for a higher power to strike him down, because Steve actually yelled from the bathroom, “Babe? You good?”

Eddie immobilized, heavy breathing caught in his lungs. His heart thundered.

The kids, unanimously, peeled their eyes from Eddie to instead stare at the bathroom door.

In the silent beat that followed, Steve must’ve become more concerned, because the shower shut off and the bathroom door actually fucking opened and Eddie wanted to die and Steve’s head was popping out to check and—

“Oh my God!” Steve cried, immediately making eye contact with seven people at the same time. He had a towel around his waist, dignity spared, but his face went redder than a blistering tomato. “Are you kidding?! Jesus, fuck—”

Steve whirled back into the bathroom, the door slamming behind him.

“It—it was an accident—I’m sorry!” Eddie called, hurrying past the kids, who were all apparently shellshocked. He tossed the ice bucket onto the counter and hurriedly snatched clothes out of Steve’s bag. “I left the door open like a fucking dumbass.”

“Did Steve call you ‘babe’?” El asked, never malicious. “Are you boyfriends?”

“Oh my God.” He heard Steve groan, from behind the closed door.

“Wait, wait, wait. Are you boyfriends?!” Dustin’s voice went up in volume. “Steve’s gay? You’re gay together? Are you serious? How long?”

“I can’t believe you guys didn’t tell us!” Mike crossed his arms.

Will gently spoke up, trying to calm the circus. “Guys, c’mon.”

Eddie’s chest tightened as he rooted through the bag. He couldn’t fucking find a pair of shorts, he couldn’t even see, he was filling with a deep panic that he knew Steve shared.

“Wait!” Lucas gasped. “This makes so much sense, oh my God! This is why—”

“Hey!” Max snapped at them, quieting the room. “Stop talking, dipshits.”

Eddie exhaled shakily and shut his eyes. Opened them again to finally find a shirt, pair of shorts, and boxers for Steve.

“Just—hold on, okay?” He told them, before scurrying into the tiny rectangle of a bathroom.

Steve sat on the closed toilet lid, head in his hands.

“It’s okay.” Eddie said immediately, offering the clothes, “It’s gonna be okay. I’m sorry—”

“You just left the door open?” Steve yelped, borderline hysterical. Twice now he’d been unable to come out on his own terms. His entire neck and chest were red, matching his face. “Anybody could’ve just waltzed in—”

“I was right down the hall, baby, I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” Eddie’s brows knit together, a horrible frown tore down his face, “I was gonna be two minutes, I’m so sorry.”

Steve stood up, wordlessly wrestled on the fresh clothes. His hands were trembling.

“I know I said ‘soon,’ but I didn’t think right now, we said one hard thing at a time—”

“This wasn’t on purpose, I didn’t invite them up, Dustin needed aloe.”

“But you left the door open, so—”

A small, hesitant double-tap rattled the door, breaking the argument into fragments. Steve huffed and scrubbed his eyes.

“Guys?” It was Dustin’s voice, surprisingly gentle. “Somebody open the door, don’t strangle each other.”

Steve wiped his face again while Eddie re-wrapped the robe, securing it in place. He was nauseous with the gravity of it, forcing their relationship into the light by pure mistake. Before Steve was ready. Even if he’d been close to ready, it wasn’t the same—

Steve twisted the door knob and pushed it open, sucking in a steadying breath.

“Hey, Henderson.”

Dustin smiled carefully. “Hey. You guys wanna talk?”

“Guess we probably should, right?”

The three of them shuffled the few feet back to the main bedroom and to face the rest of the group, but no one dared start the conversation. Eddie didn’t know what to say, regret and anger at himself swelling in his throat. Steve looked over at him, with those big brown eyes, a cacophony of emotion colliding in them. He didn’t know where to start, either.

Eddie cleared his throat, ready to make an attempt. “Um…So...”

“It’s okay.” Will reassured quickly, but softly. “You know we love you guys. Right?”

In the dim, mellow light of the hotel room, Steve visibly relaxed beside him. He ran a hand uncomfortably over the back of his neck, but his shoulders fell just a little. He caught his breath and Eddie tried to do the same.

Steve nodded resolutely.

“I’m…bi, yeah. We…are boyfriends.” Steve let his hand fall, reached over to touch Eddie’s shoulder in solidarity. “Shit’s scary, and I’m sorry for freaking out.”

Eddie offered him an earnest look. An acceptance of the apology, one that wasn’t even needed.

Steve continued, “I wasn’t gonna do this yet. But…”

He inhaled again, eyes falling onto each of the kids. El beamed at them with an encouraging smile.

“But I was being dumb, because like, of course you brats still love us and it doesn’t matter, it’s just, like, fucking scary. Okay? It’s hard.”

“I get it,” Mike surprised them by saying, “Everybody gives me shit for waiting sixteen years to ask out Will, but it’s terrifying.”

“Yeah,” Steve actually laughed, “Exactly. So.”

Steve put his hands on his hips while Dustin began pacing, hands flying enthusiastically. “So, I didn’t mean to bombard you with questions but I also have a lot of questions? Let me say I think this is great, it’s very unexpected but like now my two dads are actually romantically involved, so, like you’re my actual dads now—”

Max thumped him. “This still feels like you’re bombarding them, Dustin.”

“I guess the main question is how long has it been going on?” Lucas asked for him.

Eddie felt his own face get hot, knowing they’d probably get the most backlash here. Other than for the whole moving thing.

Steve held his tongue, leaving this one up to Eddie. He crossed his arms awkwardly and held his own shoulders, snaggled robe irritating his hands.

“Uhhh…since Christmas.”

Dustin’s eyes boggled out of his head. “Christmas?! It’s March, dude! You guys have been together for three months?”

“I can kinda see it.” Max shrugged. “Makes sense.”

“It totally makes sense!” Lucas said, very pointedly looking at Eddie. “A lot makes sense right now. Maybe there’s something else you wanna share?” He raised his eyebrows suggestively and rolled his hands, urging Eddie along.

“Right now?” Eddie gaped at him, “Dude!”

“Do Robin and Nancy know you’re together? Or Jonathan and Argyle?” El inquired.

“Rob and Nance do.” Steve replied, “And we’ll tell Jonathan and Argyle too, yeah. Might as well get it all over with, right?”

“I agree, definitely right.” Lucas nodded.

Eddie groaned, “Lucas—”

Dustin scrunched his eyebrows. “What’s he talking about? There’s more?”

Mike made a face. “Is it a sex thing? Is it weird?”

Will rolled his eyes, chided him, “Mike—”

“Oh, my God, okay, yes, there’s more—we’re—we’re moving away!”

Eddie dropped the bomb. Immediately gritted his teeth in the explosive aftermath. He sliced his eyes over to Steve, who lifted his mouth in a quiet way of thanks. Sharing the burden of confession.

Everyone but Lucas clamored, five people yelping, “What?!” in almost comedic unison.

“Moving away where?” Dustin probed, then Mike followed up with, “When?!”

“We don’t know.” Eddie hugged himself tighter. “We don’t really have any answers we just…know we’re leaving, somewhere, after we graduate.”

“A secret relationship I’m totally cool with, and I get, but moving? Kinda thought you guys would’ve told us that!” Dustin frowned deeply, looking hurt like Lucas had. Eddie’s heart beat itself down into tiny pieces. “Why?”

“It’s…” Steve started, then tugged at his hairline. He paused.

“It’s a surprise but it also makes sense, guys, cut them some slack.” Max glared at the boys, but pushed on. She leveled a look back at Eddie and Steve. “I’m pissed you’ve been holding out on us too, but, Indiana is choking you out, right? That’s it?”

“…Yeah, that’s…” Steve looked at her appreciatively. “That’s it.”

“It’s hard to be out there.” Will chimed in. “You wanna go somewhere…less judged?”

“Well yeah, and…away from my parents. It’s a lot of shit. My family sucks…a lot more than I tell you guys. I want to be far away from them.”

“And Wayne moved too.” Eddie added on, wanting to gently steer the pressure off of Steve. “And, like, who knows where you guys will all end up when you graduate in a few years. We don’t wanna leave, but, we do, too…We’re sorry.”

The moment sat heavily, mountainous and foggy. Eddie held his breath. And then Dustin blew up.

“Oh, I am so mad, goddammit, you guys suck so bad!” But contradictory to his words, he stomped forward and crushed Eddie and Steve in a conjoined hug. He absolutely destroyed Eddie’s ribcage. “I’m gonna be so mad forever and I’ll never forgive either of you. And I’m visiting you every spring break, and every summer, and every Christmas.”

“Dustin—” Eddie wheezed. “Can’t breathe, pal.”

Dustin released his hold to stare them down. His eyes glimmered, misty.

“I am so mad. Furious. But also so happy for you jerks.”

“Thanks, man.” Steve said weakly. He slapped a hand over Dustin’s shoulder and squeezed. “Means a lot.”

“We will always support you!” El cheered, surging forward to hug them as well. And then the other kids rushed in too, barging together into one pile.

And Eddie knew this would be their reaction. He had been confident that no one would care he and Steve were together, and he knew they’d be angry about the move, too, but that they’d come to accept it. That no one would resent them.

Though, if he shed a couple tears of relief anyway, nobody said a word about it.

“All right, twerps, thanks for being cool.” Steve choked out after a long moment. The kids unglued, but Eddie stayed stuck to Steve’s side. He skated a gentle hand over Steve’s shoulder blades, subtly.

“Can you guys give me and Eddie a minute?” Steve asked. His body didn’t shake anymore but his movements looked unsteady, like the relief after a long run, about to give.

“You’d better not be ditching ice cream.” Lucas thwapped Steve on the arm. “You’re paying, dude.”

“Bullshit,” Eddie cut in, grinning, “Don’t drain my bank, man.”

“We’re not, we’re not.” Steve reassured, smirking. “We’ll meet you down there in twenty minutes, just—”

Steve rolled his eyes and leaned over to snatch the little bottle of aloe off the counter. He pushed it into Dustin’s chest.

“Skedaddle for a little bit.”

Dustin opened his mouth to speak, but Max caught Dustin by the forearm and started pulling him out of the room.

“C’mon, doofus.”

“No rush, guys.” Will gave a soft wave, following the others out.

El smiled excitedly once more and she and Mike trailed behind Will. Lucas hung back.

“I hope you guys aren’t, like, mad I told you to tell everyone, but…they needed to know, y’know?” He shrugged, lips turned up at the corner, both awkward and earnest.

“I didn’t know there was like…this other stuff going on, but I’m happy for you guys. And it does make more sense now, and I get why you gotta go. The context helps.” He chuckled. “But like, damn…it’s gonna suck when you leave…Let’s just like, make the most of the rest, right?”

Eddie’s eyes sparkled. “You make it sound like we’re dying, man.—But capitalism is death, so, you’re sort of on the right track.”

Steve nudged him.

“Thanks, Lucas.” Steve’s shoulders sank again as he took another deep breath. “You’re right, it needed to happen. I’m…glad it happened, yeah.”

“Good.” Lucas smiled. “And I wasn’t kidding about the ice cream, don’t be late.”

He dashed out the door, letting it swing shut. It clinked loudly against the wedged piece of metal and Eddie and Steve were alone again.

“You want me to lock that?” Eddie asked, sheepishly, half-jokingly. Nervous butterflies swarmed up his throat. He was half-prepared for Steve to flip out again, or to have a breakdown. Instead of answering though, Steve collapsed to sit on the bed, bracing himself on his knees. He exhaled, looking fucking rickety.

“Shit—baby?” Eddie immediately dropped next to him, thigh to thigh. “It’s all right. You’re okay.”

Steve’s head dropped, chin to his chest, clearly focusing hard on breathing evenly. His hands death-gripped his skin, knuckles going white.

“Steve?” Eddie asked again, when there wasn’t an answer, “What do you need?”

Steve was quiet, eyes closed to the world, blocking it out, calming, calming, spiraling down from the top of a tall staircase. Eddie flashed back to the night in their living room, Steve in his cute plaid pajama pants, sobbing about the scary, soul-sucking black hole that was the unknown future. He skimmed his hand repeatedly over Steve’s back, trying to soothe him.

He finally heard Steve swallow.

“We did it.”

A pang of relief shot through Eddie.

“We did it…and they were fine, and nobody hates us.”

“You’re right, Stevie.” Eddie murmured, wrapping an arm over his shoulders. He rubbed his bicep, buzzed his blunt nails over Steve’s upper back.

Steve finally opened his eyes to stare at the sandy floor. Messy, unfinished footprints were splotched here and there, evidence of a bunch of rowdy eighteen-year-olds, whirling through like a storm. There were flecks of shells, little bits of dirt. Eddie watched Steve’s eyes wander, over their clothes, over the melting ice, forgotten in the bucket, over the still bottle of champagne. His irises flicked up, beautiful golden-brown against Eddie’s own.

“I’m proud of you.” Eddie whispered to him, quiet, in their secret language. Words uttered with devotion, truth. “And I love you.”

Binding them, reassuring them, tightening them like the cords of a braid.

Steve’s eyes shone, not with tears but something heavenly, and he cupped Eddie’s cheek. His hand slipped back, cradling his head like this first kiss. Steve was still wobbly, but he brought their mouths together with low, simmering heat.

“I love you too.” He said, against Eddie’s mouth, before kissing him again and again. Warm and gentle, Eddie got lost in it, until Steve pulled back to push their foreheads together. The bridge of his nose slotted against Eddie’s.

“And I’m…proud of me, too.” Steve said, definitively. “—And of you.”

Eddie snorted, pressed harder. “I was gonna say, what an asshole.”

They broke into giggles and Steve shoved him, crashed against him, kissed him with all his might. Their lips clashed and slid in relief, euphoria, adrenaline, and then slowed, until it was languid and lazy.

“It’s okay.” Eddie told him again, in the breath after, rubbing his thumb over the freckles on Steve’s cheek. “And it’s all gonna be okay. Look at us, babe. We did two hard things. We’re fucking unstoppable.”

And then Steve hugged him, arms around the neck, cuddly and all, tight enough to pop his lungs.

“You’re right, Eds.”

***

“Man, we spent an entire week in Florida and didn’t get to see a single alligator.” Argyle complained as they hauled their luggage off the Uber, back onto campus at U of I. Nancy and Robin had been dropped off at their apartment first, sleepy from travel.

“Yeah, that would’ve been cool.” Mike agreed.

Jonathan playfully elbowed Eddie in the ribs, “I don’t know, guys, I saw Eddie and Steve kiss on the mouth and that was kind of enough spectacle for me.”

Everyone broke into laughter, Eddie included. “Fuck you, man.”

Steve reddened but took it in stride, smiling wryly and quickly yanking out the handle on his suitcase. They were surely going to be subjected to good-natured teasing for weeks to come.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.”

Max and El waggled their eyebrows at each other.

Steve’s skin had tanned beautifully where Eddie’s had burned. He looked like a regular fucking beach boy, sunglasses in his lightened hair. Unfortunately, he’d ditched the scrumptiously short Chubbies, and was back in jeans.

“Welp,” Dustin said, saluting them, “’Twas a great spring break. Thank you all for entertaining my idea.”

“Yeah, it was cool, man.” Eddie mussed up his hair. “Thanks for keeping us young, wild, and free.”

“It’s what I do best.”

“See you guys at Hellfire later this week?” Will inquired.

“Yeah,” Lucas said, “We gotta make some progress on that campaign!”

“Definitely.” Eddie nodded. “But gonna go zonk for three days now, I’m wiped.”

“Catch you guys later.” Steve waved, and everyone said their goodbyes.

Eddie’s insides did a tiny backflip when Steve took his hand on the walk back to their dorm. Their suitcases rattled behind them on the brick and it was a windy, gray day. A few people gave them sideways looks, but for the most part they were undisturbed. Campus was quiet as everyone trickled back home.

“I like this.” Eddie said quietly, bending at the elbow to explain what he meant.

Steve rubbed his thumb over Eddie’s skin. His cheeks were that dusty shade of pink, and he refused to meet Eddie’s eye, looking shy. Funny, how, he’d sucked the guy’s dick, but holding hands in public had Steve Harrington blushing.

His lips twitched. “I like it too.”

They slogged back to the dorm room, both exhausted and dried out from the sun. Steve ordered delivery of the usual from Basil Bistro and slumped out within minutes of finishing dinner. Eddie flicked through every streaming service and was about to start the newest episode of The Last of Us when his phone started vibrating. Chrissy’s angelic face graced the screen, an incoming FaceTime.

Eddie scuttled into his bedroom to answer, not wanting to wake Steve.

“My sweet mistress, the man has just fallen aslumber. Impeccable timing.”

Chrissy giggled, her smile glistening with cherry lip gloss, her favorite.

“I don’t think ‘aslumber’ is a word?”

“Tomato, tomato.” Eddie shrugged, “How ya doin’, babe?”

He jumped into his bed, the top comforter cool from a week without use. Eddie rolled onto his stomach.

“More like how are you doing? First you sent me a text that said, ‘plane crashed, didn’t make it to Florida, we’re on the island from Lost.’” Chrissy laughed hysterically.

“And then you sent me tons of beach photos, and then you said, ‘We told everyone about our relationship lol oops,’ and then I got a ton of emojis and pictures I think you sent when you were drunk? They were all super blurry and upside-down. Lots of seagulls.”

“Yeah, definitely got really drunk, that tracks.” He smirked.

“Okay, so, wanna clear the rest of that up?” She jutted out her chin as a gesture to expand.

Eddie leaned his phone against the headboard as usual and rested his chin on top of his laced hands.

“Wellll, yeah, everyone knows now. Our friends, I mean. It was totally by accident.—And everyone knows we’re moving. So it was kinda…overwhelming? Both of those at once? But Steve’s feeling a lot better, I think he’s kind of happy that we’re not hiding it anymore. He held my hand on the way home, cute as shit.—Makes me feel like a middle schooler to say that, but, it was cute as shit, Chris.”

“Aww, Eddie!” Chrissy applauded. “Did anything less…”

Chrissy winked suggestively.

“…Wholesome happen?”

“You mean did I or did I not make sweet love to my handsome, out-of-my-league boyfriend? The answer is no, I did not. There were kind of a lot of emotions so we just…decided to wait, but many other things were done instead. We actually—”

“That’s okay, I don’t need an elaboration, Eds.” She covered her face with a manicured hand.

“Man, c’mon.” Eddie rolled his eyes. “Neither you nor Nancy will just let me talk about getting freaky in the sheets. Who am I supposed to dish to?”

“You could start a vlog.”

“Oh God, yeah, fuck my degree, I’m becoming a YouTuber.”

Chrissy shook her head at him, blondish hair bouncing on the screen.

“So you and Steve are good then? I mean, obviously. But I’m sure that was scary for him.”

“Yeah, we’re in a good place. And he’s feeling more confident.—He asked me to formal.” Eddie raised his eyebrows and cheesed. “I’m gonna brush elbows with all the fratty boys and wear a suit and everything. I’m gonna be the trophy wife, Chris! Even though, under normal circumstances, Steve is totally the wife. But I’m not the one who joined a patriarchal cult, so I don’t get as much opportunity to show him off.”

“That’s so exciting! Everybody better be nice to you. Or I’ll fly down there myself and kick stupid boy ass.”

Eddie adjusted to sit up on his elbows, heavily leaning onto one hand. “Yeah. I’m…a little nervous about that, and I think he is too. But for the most part they should be chill, I think. Nobody would wanna get kicked out. And Lucas’ll be there with Max. She would cut a bitch.”

“You’re so right.” Chrissy agreed. “I’d trust her with my life.”

“Exactly. You get everything booked for coming to graduation?”

“Yes, since Dustin was more helpful than you. I’m going to scream like a banshee when they call your name.”

“As I expected.”

“And there’s stilllll no chance I can whisk you away to Boston afterwards?” She widened her big blue eyes at him and batted her eyelashes. Chrissy clasped her hands and wiggled them underneath her chin.

Eddie flipped onto his back, rolling the phone with him.

“No can do, Cunningham. My heart has been claimed.—We—,”

Eddie laughed, at the actual ridiculousness of it all. “We still don’t fucking know where we’re going. Hell, maybe we will end up in Boston, I dunno. We need to just sit down and make a choice. But we’re kind of pushing it off. I’m shoving those decisions into a little box and chucking it to the back of the closet. Got so many assignments and shit to do, anyway. Kinda afraid I’m gonna flunk out so close to the finish line, but Nancy would hold a gun to my head if I gave up.”

“So would I.” Chrissy growled, expression flipping to one of unbridled rage. “Don’t you dare, Eddie Munson.”

“All right, all right.” Eddie waved her off. “I’ll do my damn homework.”

“Good.—Anyway, if you wanna hear something totally insane listen to this shit my coworker did.”

***

“Nancy, that bobby pin is flaying my fucking scalp.” Eddie grumbled, wincing as she pushed it into his hair. “Can’t we just let it be?”

“No,” Nancy replied, holding another in her teeth. She had him sitting on their living room couch, while she stood above him, braiding and looping his hair into a wavy bun at the back of his head.

Robin sat crisscross at his other side, touching up Eddie’s black nail polish. “I know it’s a frat formal, and all the guys are slobs, but we’re making you nice and pretty for Steve.”

“I’m not already pretty?” Eddie pouted.

“Shut up.” Robin rolled her eyes. Nancy jabbed another bobby pin into his skull.

“Steve’s only ever taken me to formals. Even your freshman year, I drove here, remember?” Robin explained, dipping the thin brush into the bottle and swooping it over Eddie’s nail. “He hasn’t had an actual date to a dance to a dance since like…high school? Since Nancy?”

“Oh, my God, that prom was a nightmare too.” Nancy twitched at the memory.

“I’m very excited for our formal at the aquarium next weekend.” El chimed in from her place on the floor. She was curling Max’s hair while Max did her makeup in a giant floor mirror dragged in from the bathroom. “I’m taking Will.”

“Good choice, kid.” Robin nodded. “So what are Steve and Lucas up to? Why didn’t they come over again?”

“They had to like load tables and chairs or something into a trailer? It was cheaper to rent some from school than at the event space.” Max answered, swishing on eyeshadow. She tapped the brush and applied another color.

“You know Good Guy Steve had to volunteer. He probably offered up Lucas’ name, honestly.” Eddie scoffed. “—Can we be done with the hair? I’m gonna freak out in a second. Overstimulated here.”

Nancy, as if just to push him, playfully wedged one final bobby pin into place. She wriggled it for good measure and then patted the top of Eddie’s head.

“Done.”

Robin grabbed his hand, decorated with rings, and blew over the nail polish to dry it faster.

“You’re one sexy motherfucker now.” She told him. “Steve’s gonna lose his shit and jump your bones.”

Nancy plopped down and sipped a High Noon. She tickled her fingertips over Eddie’s hairdo, fixing pieces here and there. “I’m about to jump his bones.”

“No need to fight over me.” Eddie sighed, feigning exasperation. “Thanks for dolling me up, ladies.”

Robin capped the nail polish and set it on the coffee table. She held a hand to Eddie’s face, admired the subtle eyeliner she’d sketched on for him earlier.

“Anything for you, darling.—Now get dressed, you guys gotta go soon.”

Eddie disappeared to their bedroom and slipped into the suit Nancy had kindly steamed for him. He’d opted for completely black, shirt and all, with a shiny satin tie. (Which, totally could be repurposed later, for other, better things.)

“I feel like a fucking fed.” He whined, stepping back into the living room in dress socks.

El’s eyes lit up. “You look very handsome, Eddie!”

“Literally, are you gonna be on the cover of Rolling Stone?” Robin swooned. “You look good.”

“Shit’s so constricting.” Eddie pulled at the shirt collar.

“You’re telling me,” Max griped, gliding into the room in a light blue dress. Nancy followed behind her, having helped her zip up. “Have you ever worn a strapless bra?”

“Surprisingly no.”

“You guys look awesome, seriously.” Nancy smiled. “Lemme take some pics.”

“Tell Steve and Lucas to fuck off, we’re taking each other to formal.” Max held out her hand for Eddie to kiss. A baby blue corsage donned her wrist.

“M’lady.”

After Nancy took around four thousand pictures, Eddie and Max got on their shoes and gathered their things to go. Robin made them a round of shots in mismatched shot glasses and then poured Eddie an extra.

“Here,” She said, pressing the heavy pour of Smirnoff back into his hand, “Some extra liquid courage for when you take Steve’s gay virginity tonight.”

Nancy snorted High Noon through her nose.

“Jesus, Robin.”

The girls and Eddie laughed at Nancy’s expense and then he knocked it back in one gulp. The vodka burned down his throat, settled hot in his stomach. Had Steve and Robin talked about that? Did Steve think that was going to happen? Did Steve want that to happen? Was Steve planning on that happening?

Nerves prickled over Eddie’s skin. For being in the spotlight as probably the only same-sex couple at the function, for wanting to impress Steve’s other friends, for trying to fit in with a crowd he wasn’t familiar with.—Which, fuck that, Eddie was all about standing out, but he wanted everything to go smoothly.

He tipped the empty shot glass to Robin in salutations.

“Thanks, Rob. I already feel it.”

***

Eddie and Max waited for Steve and Lucas by the semi-circle of buses outside the student center. A large crowd of frat dudes and girls in elegant dresses had already gathered. Eddie was relieved to see that, for the most part, everyone was buzzed and happy. No one gave him a funny look just for being there, which didn’t really happen anymore, but sometimes he couldn’t shake his high school anxieties.

Max crossed her arms in the chill, sapphire wristlet swinging off her wrist.

“Want my jacket?” Eddie offered, tapping her forearm.

“Nah, we’re probably leaving soon. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, just ask.” Eddie shrugged.

They fell into casual conversation about classes and the upcoming formal next weekend. A tall guy in an emerald suit yelled for everyone to start getting on the buses, when Steve and Lucas finally popped into view.

Steve shouldered through the crowd, swathed in deep navy blue. A mustard yellow tie nestled at his neck and all Eddie could think about then was yellow sweater, yellow sweater, yellow—

“Hey.” Steve greeted, finally a foot away. Lucas appeared right behind him in a suave, tan three piece.

“You guys look—great.” Steve blinked, face flushing the lightest shade of pink. And yeah, he looked at Max, acknowledged her, but his eyes absolutely ravaged Eddie.

“You too.” Eddie laughed. Maybe Steve would be down to skip the whole event and instead go pop the buttons off their fancy shirts? Eddie quickly eyed his belt buckle, silver and inviting.

Lucas and Max went into a private bubble then, moving closer and saying hello. Eddie could hear him say how beautiful she looked.

Drumbeats thumped through Eddie’s chest, looking at Steve in the morphing crowd, at his carefully crafted hair, his sparkly eyes, the way the knot of his tie rested just below his Adam’s apple. He was nervous, yeah, but, Steve Harrington was his and God, if he didn’t want the whole world to know.

“Ready to go?” Eddie asked, then held out his hand, palm up, an invitation. Steve could say “no” if he wanted to.

Steve paused, stared at Eddie’s fingers, and then a smile split onto his face.

“Nice nail polish.” He said quietly, like only Eddie could hear. Secret language. “Trying to get lucky tonight?”

Giddiness bubbled up inside of Eddie. Love, joy, raging hormones. Vast, wild, forest-fire desire, and two shots of vodka.

“Yeah.” Eddie whispered back. “Maybe I am.”

Steve took his hand.

Chapter Text

The bus ride was bumpy, loud, crammed full of enthusiastic college kids already half-drunk because they only got two drink tickets at formal, if they were twenty-one. Eddie and Steve shared a bench seat across from Lucas and Max, and after a fourteen minute ride, everyone spilled into the courtyard of a large event space.

A short staircase led up to the building’s brick façade. Three sets of double doors opened to a huge room, dimly lit with Edison bulbs and fairy lights. Round tables and chairs were arranged along the front half, but the back was empty, tiled, accented by spinning disco balls and colored lights that rotated wildly. A buffet setup of silver cloches wrapped along the wall beside the bar. The line was already stacking up, so the four of them quickly fell in.

“Who decided we should be eating tacos in fancy clothes?” Lucas asked as they slid into a table, plates full. “My mom will actually kill me if I stain this suit.”

“What do you expect when a bunch of twenty-something guys planned this?” Max carefully rolled the tortilla, avoided getting anything on her dress.

“Freshman year they served fucking hot dogs.” Steve grumbled before taking a bite, eliciting a big laugh from Eddie.

“God, that’s a riot. But hey, I’m not complaining, free food is free food.”

It wasn’t long before people were finishing their meals and filling the dance floor or swarming the bar for drinks. Eddie was still pleasantly surprised that no one really paid any attention to them. They were just faces in a crowd. On one hand, he and Steve weren’t doing anything, just sitting and having food, but Eddie had just anticipated it going very differently. He’d imagined bracing for impact just because he had fucking nail polish on.

The realization was hitting Steve too, Eddie realized, because he was growing increasingly more touchy-feely as the night went on. Brushing ankles under the table evolved into a hand on the knee. That morphed into shoulders pressing. Followed by an arm around the back of Eddie’s chair, and fingertips rubbing circles over the fine material of his suit.

Eddie leaned into the embrace. Nervous flutters were starting to finally cool, the relief that this would be fine, that tonight would go swimmingly, that he’d have Steve Harrington gasping into his pillow in about four hours. Their friends accepted them, everyone at this stupid frat dance was in their own world, couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the two of them, and in just a month they’d be on their way to God knows where to be together and be happy and—

“What?” Eddie asked, looking over from his daydream to see that Steve was already staring at him. He’d paused in sipping from the little plastic cup of cheap rum and generic brand Coke. They were the only two at the table now, Lucas having dragged Max onto the dance floor.

“Just thinking of the Grin and Tonic that night.” Steve muttered, smirking in the low light. “Feels like that right now.”

Music boomed, bodies crashed, and Eddie’s lips twitched up. He swirled through memory of the goddamn heat, both literal and figurative. He’d wanted to kiss Steve so bad, been so fucking afraid. Had been so fucking confused. Now he could whenever he wanted to.

“Guess it does.” Eddie looked down and swished his own cup, his classic choice of vodka sour, and repressed a shiver. Along his back, Steve’s fingertips pressed harder. They burned hot between the layers.

“Dance with me?” Steve asked quietly, an echo of that night. He looked…like he was on fire, like he was blooming in confidence, like he was laid-out on an open flame. But…vulnerable even in that state. He was baring his neck, “I’m yours, but you’re mine,” throwing it out there with a prayer.

“It’s my last formal ever.” Steve tacked on. “I gotta have at least one dance.”

Eddie turned in his seat to face him, a twinkle in his eye.

“Hmm…you could always ask Max.”

“Remind me why I put up with you.” Steve sighed without real frustration, setting down his drink. It left a ring of condensation on the table.

Eddie leaned in, twisting so he could put his lips to Steve’s ear. Without his normal halo of hair getting in the way, it felt even closer.

“I’ll remind you when we get home.”

He knew the words sank swiftly into Steve because he almost immediately shifted in his seat. Steve swallowed hard, grinned, and playfully swatted Eddie away from him.

“Yeah, yeah, are we dancing or not?”

“Sure.” Eddie smiled wickedly and let himself be pulled to his feet.

They swerved through the masses, not quite holding hands, but their fingertips linked as they went. They nestled into the throng of bodies and ended up smushed together, chest to chest anyway, bathed in shadow, and color, and deep, blasting music.

Steve held his hips, swayed him. Their movements were a little slower, where the track was fast and clubby. It was unlikely they’d play anything more fitting. Eddie traced a thumb over Steve’s collarbone, felt the steady beat of his pulse, lightly swept over his skin.

“I like your hair.” Steve told him then, dipping his chin against Eddie’s jawline, like he’d been staring at it all night and couldn’t resist it anymore. Some chick bumped into Steve’s back, crashing him closer. His nose shoved into Eddie’s neck.

Steve huffed out a hot laugh. “Romantic, right?”

“Best night of my life, babe.”

And Eddie half meant it, even if someone kept stepping on his heel from behind and the dancefloor smelled like beer and heavy cologne. It was reminiscent of that first party, climbing onto the roof, wanting to kiss Steve then, too.

“And thanks, about the hair. Nance did it.”

“It looks great. You look great.”

“So do you, Casanova. Buttering me up for something special?”

“Just thinking about you reminding me something when we get home.”

The laugh that started bubbling out of Eddie was masked with a kiss, as Steve pushed forward and planted one on him. Eddie jumped at the touch of lips, Steve returned for more, then pressed deeper, warmer. Eddie exhaled through his nose, ignored the strangers’ elbows knocking his back, and gripped Steve’s lapel like a lifeline.

He puddled into music, and into the taste of his boyfriend, right now a hint of rum, of carbonation, of fizz zipping through his veins—this was home, fuck the location, anywhere with Steve Harrington was where he belonged.

In the roaring bass, surrounded by a tipsy, cross-eyed crowd, held in these arms, nothing fucking mattered.

Steve kissed him harder, bunched up the bottom of Eddie’s jacket as he held him in an iron grasp. He dipped him, like a princess in a movie, and then righted the two of them and broke away. Little explosions erupted behind his brown eyes. His lips were cute, pink, upturned into a little smile.

“Jesus, Stevie.” Eddie snickered. “Shall we find a dark corner?”

“Nah.” Steve shook his head. He started to lead them back into a half-dance. A couple to their left almost fell on the floor with how many times they spun.

“Saving that for later.”

They rocked with the rest of the dancefloor for some time, and eventually ended up near Lucas and Max too.

Steve did steal her away from Lucas at one point, winding her around and sweeping her off her feet (literally) because he could and it made her laugh. Her red curls fluttered as Steve and Lucas spun her back and forth between the two of them, giggling like little kids.

Eddie excused himself for another drink, sweat beading under his starchy shirt. He traded his final drink ticket for another vodka sour and leaned against a cocktail table beside the bar, sipping it. In the distance, Steve, Lucas, and Max were trying their best to line dance.

Once Eddie caught his breath, he noticed a girl staring at him out of the corner of his eye. He glanced her way and blinked as she grinned cheekily at him.

“Hi,” The blonde sashayed over, apparently taking his look as an invitation. She was pretty, hair pinned up like his own, swathed in vibrant, bold red. Her lipstick was carefully, purposefully smudged, eyeliner sharp in a cat eye.

“Hey.” Eddie said back, not wanting to be a total dick.

“I’m Rosie.” The girl greeted, shrugging in a way that would’ve been self-conscious, if the rest of her didn’t exude self-assurance.

“Eddie.” He nodded, tipping up his drink. Behind Rosie, Eddie heard two other girls, clearly friends of hers, catcalling.

“I just—well,” Rosie cut her eyes back, clearly telling her friends to shut the fuck up.

“The guy who brought me here as a date here is kind of a total dud, to be honest.” Rosie rolled her bright blue eyes. “And, I saw you came here with Steve. He’s your roommate, right? I’ve met him a couple times. He’s a super nice guy, so, I know any friend of his would be too, I just, like…”

Rosie shrugged again, bit her lip. She looked up through thick lashes at Eddie. “I guess I’m just like, shooting my shot? Do you wanna dance or something?”

Eddie couldn’t help his small snort of disbelief. So, clearly she’d seen Eddie show up with Steve, but not dance with Steve, not fucking kiss Steve. It was a jam-packed place, he guessed he couldn’t blame her.

But also, in what fucking world was Eddie getting hit on instead of Steve?

Rosie’s petite face crumpled in surprise. Her perfectly-plucked eyebrows angled downwards, paired with a frown.

“Well, geez you didn’t have to—”

“No, fuck.” Eddie waved his hands, stopping her from completely stalking off. Vodka sour splashed over the side of his cup. “I’m—gay.”

Rosie blinked at him, frozen on the spot. Then she actually cracked a smile.

“Oh. Gosh, sorry.” Rosie laughed, realizing how poorly she’d clocked him.

“No worries. I’m, uh, flattered? Thanks anyway.”

The blonde crossed her arms behind her back, and Eddie could tell she was making some kind of hand signal to her far-off friends. “Not this one,” Eddie assumed. “Plan failed.”

“Gotcha, gotcha.” She righted again, swept some imaginary hair behind her ear. Not a strand was out of place.

“Wellll, I know Steve normally brings that short-haired girl, are they like, still together? I just assumed she couldn’t come this year.”

There it was.

“Uhhh.”

Eddie’s heart suddenly jumped and ricocheted. There were literally no good answers to that question. His mouth dried up like the Sahara fucking Desert.

Eddie coughed, uncomfortably aware of how long he’d paused. He knocked back the remainder of his drink, feigning clearing his throat. Rosie was still standing there expectantly.

And then an arm slipped around Eddie’s waist from behind, familiar and firm. Eddie swiveled to see Steve, breathing hard from dancing. His loosened yellow tie and undone top buttons exposed his neck and collarbones.

“Hey, Rosie, right?” Steve asked with his charming Pretty Frat Boy smile. “You came with Aaron?”

Eddie felt Steve squeeze his side. It settled right above his hip; performative, declarative, possessive, and sweet. Eddie assumed that would be it, that the gesture would say enough, but was surprised when Steve spoke again.

“I see you met my boyfriend, Eddie.”

Rosie raised her eyebrows, but then smiled again, blushing pink. She tilted her head to the side.

“I sure did. I…mistakenly asked him for a dance, but, you guys have fun. Nice to meet you, Eddie.” She waved a tiny wave and turned to walk back to her friends, shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Can’t believe I just did that.” Steve said with a half-laugh, once Rosie was out of earshot. “I just said it.”

His smile widened, giddier, infectious to Eddie too. He maneuvered to face Steve and plopped a kiss on his lips.

“You sure did, big boy. Proud of you.”

Steve continued grinning like an idiot, and it was the most endearing thing Eddie had ever seen.

“I’m still totally down to find a dark corner, y’know.” He whispered.

Steve clutched Eddie’s ribs and then shoved him off playfully.

“Let’s not push our luck, Eds.”

“For the record, she hit on me first.” Eddie puffed out his chest and smirked. “Let it be known.”

Steve rolled his eyes. Blue and yellow lights skated across his reddened cheeks. Eddie was overwhelmed with the desire to push him against the wall and totally maul him.

His boyfriend.

Eddie remembered being cast out to the ocean, hopeless, wondering what Steve was feeling and if he’d ever get back on the fucking shore. And here they were now, anchored together instead.

“I came over here to tell you they’re serving dessert, but if you’re gonna be like this then I’ll get some by myself.”

“Aren’t you my dessert?”

Steve tried biting back his smile, pretending to be put off.

“I dunno, all these girls throwing themselves at you, you’ll end up going home with one of them.”

“Nah, she didn’t have enough chest hair for me.” Eddie teased, flicking one of the buttons on Steve’s shirt.

Steve swatted his hand with a wry smile.

“Go make us a plate of little treats, I’ll meet you back at the table.” Eddie tossed his cup into a nearby trash can. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick. Drank that really fast.”

“All right.” Steve knocked his knuckle lightly under Eddie’s chin, regarding him with those sparkly bedroom eyes. “See you in a minute.”

Steve went one way and Eddie went to the other, ducking into the bathroom at the other end of the hall. It was surprisingly empty; void of couples slinking away for a quick hookup. The floors were too wet for any sneaky shenanigans.

Eddie was washing his hands when the heavy door slid open behind him. It whooshed over the concrete floors, too loud, and then a notorious voice sent a chill down his spine.

“Huh. Looks like your little bitch watchdog isn’t here with you, Munson.”

Oh, fuck. This was fucking cool.

Eddie couldn’t catch a goddamn break. The Universe was pissing in his Cheerios, throwing Legos underfoot, slashing his tires.

Eddie inhaled to ground himself and turned, flicking drops of water off his hands. He forced an air of calm and sighed.

“Hey, Carver. You always follow guys into the bathroom?”

Jason and Andy barricaded the bathroom door, two peas in a fucked up pod. They were dressed to the nines, Jason looking like some decorated lawyer who snorted coke off his assistant’s ass, and Andy like a burly high school football player who bought a suit two sizes too big to look larger.

“I heard what Harrington said.” Jason snarked. “To Rosie. I guessed you two were boning but never thought he’d come out and say it. How the mighty have fallen.”

Eddie stepped forward, channeled the kid inside him who jumped onto tables in the cafeteria. “Right, yeah, can we just cut the shit?”

Eddie approached them, fighting the shake in his voice. They were blocking the only exit. The bathroom was suddenly made of all its sharp edges. Solid countertops, porcelain toilets, slippery floors, wooden stalls, metal hinges.

“I know you’re apparently obsessed with us, but I’m trying to have a nice night here. Can you just lemme through?”

Eddie stood two feet away, glared at Jason and Andy when they didn’t budge. Jason’s jaw was set tight, eyes narrowed to near-slits. His fists were balled up at his sides. Andy leaned back against the door, arms crossed over his chest. Just a brick fucking wall.

“C’mon, man.” Eddie asked again, steeling his voice. “We’re too old for this crap.”

Jason scoffed, rolled back his shoulder to knock it against Andy’s.

“Listen to him beg.” He remarked. “Fucking pathetic.”

“What’s—what’s your fucking problem, Carver?” Eddie finally exploded, throwing his hands in the air. Jason startled at the outburst.

“I get it!” Eddie yelled, “I’m the town fucking freak, I’m gay, I’m best friends with your ex-girlfriend, like—fucking cool! Grow up, dude. We don’t even live in Hawkins anymore and you’re always sniffing after me like some kind of—”

Jason slammed against him with a shout, sliding Eddie suddenly across the slick floors. Eddie yelped when his lower back collided hard into the sink.

“Fuck—” He wheezed, the wind completely knocked out of him. Eddie doubled over in the aftershock and yelped when Jason grabbed the knot of his hair. He snarled into Eddie’s face, cheeks red with anger and exertion. Up close he looked like a squealing, drooling pig.

“You don’t get it, Munson. You’re the scum of the Earth.”

Eddie felt his bobby pins pinching the roots of his hair, every strand screaming in protest.

“You waltz around corrupting everyone you meet. You’re a disease. I’m so tired of it.”

Eddie’s neck strained as Jason shoved his face against the sink, a clear threat that he’d bash his head in any second.

“You tainted Hawkins, with your drugs, and your Hellfire cult shit.” Jason gripped his hair tighter, and Eddie couldn’t hide a whimper. He was helpless.

“You think I can just let that go? First you messed up Chrissy, and then Sinclair, and now Steve fucking Harrington? Hawkins’ golden boy? When are you going to stop, man? Who else are you going to get your dirty, satan-worshipping, piece of shit hands on?”

“I’m—”

“Shut up!” Jason cried, pushing Eddie’s temple into the corner of the sink. It was cold and unforgiving on his skin. It would be even colder bludgeoning out his brains. “No one realizes what you do until it’s too goddamn late.”

Eddie scrambled for words, the drumbeats of his heart pounding through churning nausea. “Can you just—”

“Hey!” Someone shouted, voice muffled from outside the bathroom door. “I’ve gotta take a leak, dude!”

“Come back later.” Andy barked back, throwing himself back with a bam as someone tried to push through.

Eddie was half-tempted to yell for help, but Jason would’ve silenced him. He screwed his eyes shut instead, deciding his fate.

In the distraction, Eddie wrenched back his elbow as hard as he could and drove it into Jason’s knee. It wasn’t a good angle, but enough to make him cry out in pain. Jason released his grip on Eddie’s hair and he stumbled back, fancy shoes skidding on puddles.

Jason immediately surged forward to catch him, expression scrunched and furious. Eddie soared sideways and collapsed loudly into one of the stalls as both Jason and Andy pursued him, bellowing.

“What the fuck are you doing?” A third voice entered the fray, presumably “need to piss” guy, who finally was able to enter when Andy moved. A noisy shuffling of feet racketed through the small space as a few other people entered, like there’d been a line. Eddie backed into the corner and his suit jacket stuck uncomfortably to the damp wall. He shut his eyes and braced for impact.

It didn’t come, because Jason and Andy spun around.

“Carver?! Come on.” One of the newcomers groaned. Eddie peeked.

Three other frat guys loomed in the doorway. Two were incredibly tall, and one was incredibly wide. Eddie’s heart continued to punch against his ribcage.

“What are you doing here, man?” The wide guy asked. “How many fucking times do we have to kick you out of our events? Like it’s just sad. You’re out of the chapter.”

“I—” Jason looked manic, eyes wide and livid. He cut from them to Andy.

“And Andy was never even inducted in the first place. You guys need to fucking go, you didn’t even pay to be here.” Tall Guy Two rolled his eyes.

“I’ll go, all right, but—this guy needs to be handled!” He pointed wildly at Eddie, who was compacting himself as small as possible. “Harrington brought him—his boyfriend.”

The first guy started forward. “You don’t say?”

A terrifying, awful moment eclipsed Eddie’s soul, when he thought he was about to be tag-teamed and crushed into oblivion. He prayed to whoever that Steve wouldn’t have to see whatever mush they pummeled him into.

Instead, the frat boy roughly grabbed Jason by the shoulders. He looked at Eddie when he said, “Nice to meet you, Steve’s boyfriend. Sorry for the assholes.”

He hauled Jason backwards, who tripped over his own feet. Wide Guy wordlessly relocated Andy and the two of them were manhandled out of the bathroom. Tall Guy Two remained and held out his hands, nonthreatening.

“You okay, man? You’re shaking like a leaf.”

“…Yeah.” Eddie answered, exhaling weakly. “Thanks.”

Eddie wedged himself from the corner and turned to look in the mirror, unsteady. He was surprised at his own pale face, drained of color in fear. Eddie rearranged the scattered bobby pins to try and right his hair, a moment of recovery, while the guy hovered in the doorway. He was clearly making sure Eddie didn’t faint.

Over Eddie’s shoulder, he caught movement through the open door. A familiar rush of red. He hurried out of the cursed bathroom.

“—and a dickbag!” Max was yelling, no holds barred as she lurched into Jason’s face. Tall Guy One still held him by the arm like a toddler with a tantrum. Andy pouted beside him and Lucas hung back, wide-eyed. A small crowd had gathered in the commotion.

“You’re a loser, Jason Carver!” Max continued, manicured nail one inch from Jason’s nose. “And if I have to see your stupid face again I’m gonna kill you, do you understand?!”

“Eddie!” Steve suddenly hurtled into his side. “I didn’t know he was here—”

Steve gave him the once over, concerned eyes racing up and down Eddie’s body. His hands were like vice grips on Eddie’s shoulders when he shook him. Distantly, Eddie could hear Jason squabbling back at Max.

“Are you okay?” Steve looked high-strung. “—Fuck. I’m sorry. I should’ve—”

A harsh, stinging sound rang out as Max slapped Jason across the face, hard enough to leave a violent, red mark. He stood there, blinking and baffled.

“Hope that’s clear enough for you!” She cried, as impressed wolf-whistles pinged in the crowd. Lucas’ mouth fell open.

Jason babbled indignantly. “She just—you should be calling the cops, she just assaulted me!”

“I didn’t see anything, man.” The guy who held Jason’s arm jerked him sideways. “Did anybody else see anything?”

Murmurs of “no” rippled through the onlookers. Max rubbed her pink palm.

“You’re a waste of space.” She spat at Carver, jutted her chin at Andy. “Both of you. Leave my fucking friends alone.”

Jason opened his mouth to argue further, when his captor spoke instead. “We will call the cops though, since Jason assaulted someone else.”

His eyes cut through to Steve and Eddie, a short distance off. Steve’s frat brother raised one eyebrow in questioning.

“Everyone okay?”

Steve defaulted to Eddie, searching him top to bottom. Eddie, shaken and embarrassed, nodded his head.

“I’m okay.” He muttered. “Really.”

He threw a weak thumbs up, and then Jason and Andy were escorted from the building.

“I don’t…wanna give a statement or any shit, I just wanna pretend it never happened.” Eddie shook his head while Steve fawned over him, as the small crowd dispersed. The music had never stopped, the event never slowed. The night would finish as planned.

Max and Lucas hurried over.

“Eddie, you okay?” Lucas caught his shoulder. “Man, Carver sucks. When’s he gonna get a life?”

“I’m all right—I can’t believe you just smacked him, Red. That was ballsy.”

Max smirked. “I have more balls than that grade-A douchebag. It was worth it.”

Steve ran a careful hand over Eddie’s hair, noticing it was in total disarray. His other hand looped gently around Eddie’s bicep.

“Are you sure you’re all right? What happened?”

Eddie shrugged. “I’m fine, seriously. He just cornered me in the bathroom and told me how much I should hate myself, nothing unusual.”

Steve glared, anger red-hot and rolling like boiling water. “I should’ve been there. I should’ve known he’d bum his way here. Shit, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault…It was tight for a second there but those bros of yours pulled through.”

Eddie half-laughed and continued, “Can we just forget it happened and get dessert or whatever? Please? It’s been a good night up ‘til now.”

He stared up at Steve with hopeful eyes. “And it was embarrassing, especially for you—”

“For me?” Steve squawked.

“Yeah, ‘Steve Harrington’s boyfriend gets smashed in the bathroom’—and not in a hot way.”

“Eds, oh my God.” Steve shook his head and scooped Eddie into a hug. He pulled Eddie’s face into his damp neck. “Shut up. I’m not embarrassed of you. Not—not ever. Done pretending.”

Steve squeezed the life out of him while Max ran her nails comfortingly over Eddie’s shoulder blades.

Lucas piped up from behind. “I’m gonna go video Jason getting shoved in a cop car. Then we can put it all over Twitter and he’ll never get a job.”

Eddie wiggled free from Steve’s arms with an unexpected laugh. “Thanks, Sinclair. May he only be hired by a gas station that smells like a foot.”

***

Dessert was satisfying, at least. Tiny cupcakes and miniature scoops of gelato. Steve piled their plates high in an attempt to cheer Eddie up.

And he did feel better, after some sugar, and another drink that Steve smuggled him. The four of them sat at their dinner table and goofed off as the night started to wrap up. At least they’d already had their dance.

To absolutely no one’s surprise, Steve was awarded the “Best All Around” superlative by his fellow brothers, so he had to wear a glittering, gold sash for the rest of the event. It totally didn’t go to his head.

“Send a picture to Robin.” He cheesed, holding up the satin so it would be clear to the camera. “Further proof that I’m her best friend because I’m the best all around.—And to Dustin. To rub his little nose in it.”

Max snapped the photos, deadpan. “More like world’s largest ego award.”

“Biggest hair on Earth.” Eddie chimed in, jabbing Steve in the side.

Lucas grinned devilishly. “Most likely to lose a basketball game to high schoolers.”

Steve tried to be angry, but couldn’t stop laughing. He giggled and twisted his torso while Eddie repeatedly attacked it with pokes.

“You guys suck.”

“Hey, uh, sorry.”

The four of them turned to see Tall Guy One standing at the edge of the table. He lifted an awkward hand in greeting.

“Sorry to interrupt. The cops just took Jason and Andy. So they won’t bug you guys anymore tonight.”

“Oh.” Steve remarked. He adjusted the sash and then nodded. He dropped down a hand to rest it on top of Eddie’s. “Thanks, Mark.”

Eddie tilted his head in appreciative acknowledgement.

“Yeah, man.” Mark mimicked a soft salute. “Of course. And like, I hope you know nobody agrees with Jason. People started accusing him of all kinds of terrible shit, that’s why he got kicked out in the first place. Everybody hates him.”

“Ain’t that the truth.” Lucas rolled his eyes dramatically.

Mark smirked. He pointed to the sash.

“But everybody likes you, Steve. Bring your boyfriend—bring Eddie—around all you want.—And if you guys don’t show up to the alumni dinner next year, we’re all gonna be really sad.”

Mark smiled at Eddie too, gentle and genuine, and it made something pull in his heart.

“Yeah.” Steve told him, voice choked in the slightest. “Yeah, we’ll be here. Gotta make sure Sinclair is catching on, anyway.”

“Aw, we’ll keep him in line.—Don’t forget Lucas, you gotta run the naked mile for initiation next week.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Oof. That’s a sight for sore eyes.” Max teased.

As they broke into eased laughter, Mark tapped the table.

“Anyway. Have a nice night, guys.” And then he slipped away.

Lucas grilled Steve for the truth about a supposed naked mile, and Eddie watched the guy go. Tall Guy One reunited with Two and their other friend, and all the distraught things that had built up in Eddie that night slowly sloughed away. He watched the trio socialize, and a quiet, relieved realization settled over him.

For every douchebag out there like Jason Carver, there was someone too, who instead chose to be kind.

***

Eddie felt a lot better by the time they were toppling through the hallway to get back to their dorm room. In fact, his mood had done a complete one-eighty. The shitty part of the night was over and done, it had all turned out fine, and Jason was ideally sleeping in a nasty jail cell that night.

The best was yet to come.

Eddie kept teasing Steve and snapping his Best All Around sash, turning into a chase game of cat and mouse. They raced down the hall, laughing maniacally like children.

The tired RA poked her head out of her room.

“Really guys? It’s, like, two AM. No running in the hallway, please.”

“We’re doing nothing wrong!” Eddie laughed over his shoulder, unhinged. “The corner room at the end of the hall is smoking weed!”

He ran faster, speeding to thump into Steve in front of their door. Steve teetered, off balance, and fumbled with the lock. They continued snickering, breathless.

The RA decided not to deal with it, sighed heavily, and retreated to her bedroom.

“You gonna open the door or what?” Eddie chuckled on Steve’s third attempt to unlock it. He started rucking his shirt up, untucking it from Steve’s stuffy pants.

And then finally, success. They fell through the threshold, almost to the ground, but Steve caught Eddie around the middle and spun them in a circle. The half-light of the kitchenette stove bulb bathed the room in soft yellow.

Their lips met immediately, eager and warm. The door slammed and Eddie reached back to lock it. Every bad thing from the night was tumbling quickly away, cascading over a craggy waterfall. Eddie was refilled instead with love, and fervor, and the overpowering need to make out with Steve until the sun came up. And then some.

“You’re good?” Steve asked, breaking away to read Eddie carefully. Both of them were already kicking off their shoes.

“Never better, baby.”

Eddie crushed them back together without hesitation, reaching to cradle the back of Steve’s head. Their tongues brushed as Steve wrenched out of his jacket and sash. He tossed them to the floor and started for Eddie’s own, and his tie.

“Good.” Steve gasped. His hands flew to the shirt buttons next, delicate, quick, slipping them undone with practiced ease. Eddie skipped that entirely, yanking Steve’s tie out of its knot and tugging his top over his head. He skimmed his hands over Steve’s exposed arms, down the front of his stomach. The silver belt buckle winked at him as Eddie wrenched it off, too.

“Will you fuck me?” Steve asked, lighting a fire between them. He was picking bobby pins out of Eddie’s hair like a bird, scattering them carelessly on the coffee table and the tile. He carded careful fingers through Eddie’s mane, shaking it free, making him wild. Roughing him up.

“Jesus.” Eddie groaned. “Holy shit. Yeah, I’ll fuck you, Steve.”

Steve kissed him again, a messy mashing of lips, and kicked off his pants in the same go. He entwined his fingers into Eddie’s curls while Eddie worked on his own slacks. He tugged his boxers down with them.

“Yeah?” Steve asked, voice wet, already deliciously shaky. “You will?”

“Yeah.” Eddie stood naked, took Steve’s face in his hands, and kissed him, kissed him, kissed him, dizzy with want. They pressed fully together, Steve’s dick straining against Eddie’s through the thin fabric of his boxers. Eddie rutted into him.

“Tell me where, baby.” Eddie begged, racing his palms down, over Steve’s neck, his pecs, across his ribs, wrapping around to squeeze his perky little ass.

Steve whined and arched his back.

“Fuck me on your bed.”

“Oh, yeah,” Eddie moaned. “Fuck.”

Eddie massaged his hands, feeling Steve flex and spread for him. He caught the waistband of Steve’s boxers and quickly folded them down. They were around his ankles, and then they were gone.

“You looked so good tonight.” Eddie praised into Steve’s neck, speckling open-mouthed kisses from his ear to his shoulder. Steve held onto him and melted.

“So did you. Been thinking of this the whole time.”

“Getting fucked?” Eddie teased, reaching to wrap a hand around both of them. Steve’s breath hitched, hips stuttered. His fingertips tightened to claws.

“Mmm, yeah. By you.”

Eddie hummed and rubbed them together, slow and sexy. He held his hand under Steve’s chin in request, was rewarded with a fistful of spit, and then jerked them faster, harder, hotter.

“That’s right.” Eddie admired, enjoying the way Steve was already coming undone. “Gotta get me all warmed up to fuck you, babe.”

Steve made a high sound. His stomach muscles twitched when Eddie slid the heads of their cocks together. And God, it felt so fucking good.

“Gotta get my dick all wet, right baby?”

Steve breathed hard, threw his head back. With his free hand, Eddie held Steve’s jaw in place, started sucking hot marks onto his neck.

“Fuck, Eds—you know that’s my—” His sentence crumbled into a moan, and he lightly shoved Eddie’s face off.

“I’m too fucking horny for this, you gotta fuck me soon. C’mon.”

“Damn, Stevie, begging for it?” Eddie grinned wickedly, then relentlessly bore down with a few particularly good strokes. “I’ve really got you all desperate, huh?”

Steve squirmed free of Eddie’s grip and surprised him with a ferocious kiss, clutching him by the shoulders. Eddie vibrated with enthusiasm, let himself be herded backwards towards his bedroom. They left the door open wide.

“Screw these stupid, tall beds.” Steve cursed when they backed into it. He hopped a foot onto the dresser to jump up, but Eddie stopped him with a hand on the thigh.

“Hold on.” Eddie whispered, gliding his fingertips around to cup Steve’s knee. Lightly, he pushed his leg open wider.

“Stay like this.” Eddie instructed, eyeballing the way Steve’s chest heaved pleasantly. His pretty brown eyes flicked to Eddie’s, burning bright. All over, his skin glowed pink and red, heated from the inside out.

Eddie rooted around in the drawer for their bottle of lube.

“Keep your legs open for me, baby.”

He dribbled some of it on his fingers and leaned over Steve, heart pattering a mile a minute. They’d done this plenty of times, but this time would be different.

“Gotta stretch you open, sweetheart.” Eddie nosed Steve’s inner thigh, traced his finger closer until Steve was practically trembling with anticipation.

“Shouldn’t be too long.” Steve panted, shuddering when Eddie began to push in. “I did this earlier today, too.”

“Without me?” Eddie joked, working steadily into a good rhythm.

“Oh—shit.” Steve rocked to meet him, raising his hips up and down on Eddie’s hand. His dick jumped when Eddie hit deeper.

“Fuck me.” Steve cried, readjusting his foot for better leverage. The entire dresser jostled with the movement. Soon enough he was absolutely dropping from the rickety piece of furniture, fucking himself faster and faster on Eddie’s fingers. His other leg, still tip-toed down to the floor, was drawn out delectably. Eddie rested his other hand on Steve’s hip and appreciated his flexibility.

“You look fucking hot.” Eddie complimented, fingering Steve harder. He bent his wrist until Steve let out a strangled cry. Forget the RA, they were gonna wake the whole goddamn floor.

“Oh, yeah—Christ—Eddie, c’mon, I’m good. You know I’m good.”

“Are you?”

Eddie didn’t let up. He pushed Steve’s leg open wider and hooked deeper, rumbling with pleasure when Steve wailed.

“Yeah, Steve, fuck. You take it so good.”

“Babe—ah—babe—I’m gonna—”

Eddie withdrew, just in time to stop Steve from finishing, and let him catch his breath. Eddie hauled him onto the bed before he could collapse and crawled up after. Steve panted onto the comforter, flipping from his side to his back.

“Jesus, man.” Steve gasped, shucking back his sweaty hair. He sucked in air and writhed in the aftershock.

Eddie attacked him, climbing onto Steve and kissing wherever he could reach. Steve’s legs fell open again, slotting the two of them together. They rolled their hips into the fiery friction.

“Can’t wait to watch you take my dick.” Eddie found the spot on his neck again, mouth working too lightly for a hickey, but too hard to be considered a kiss.

He pulled back when Steve actually fucking keened to look into his eyes.

His fucking home.

Caramel pools and freckled cheeks. Mouth like a Cupid’s Bow that always hit Eddie with a hunky smile. They laughed about the stupidest shit. The best shit.

“I love you.” Eddie told him, suddenly so enamored that he could’ve simply floated away. Gone to live on Cloud Nine.

“I love you, too.” Steve cracked one of those beautiful smiles and swept his fingers through Eddie’s hair. His thumb traced along Eddie’s temple.

“But if you don’t fuck me soon, I’m gonna explode.”

Eddie smirked. “Noted.”

He bit the fingers closest to him, earning himself a thwack on the nose. Eddie shifted and sat up, still nestled in the cage of Steve’s legs.

“Like this?” He grabbed Steve’s taunt waist, lifted his hips to show what he meant. His abdomen fluttered under Eddie’s hands.

Steve exhaled through his nose. “Yeah. Raw.”

“No condom?”

“No.”

Eddie shivered, buzzed with excitement as he poured more lube on himself, brushed it onto Steve. They’d talked about that, decided before—

“Tell me if it’s too much, okay?”

Eddie lined himself up, eased Steve closer, and slowly, gradually, pushed in.

Steve grunted, tense for a second with his chin to his chest. At the halfway mark, his head pitched backwards.

“Oh, fuck.”

“Good?” Eddie asked through gritted teeth, fighting the urge to piston his hips full speed. He was surrounded by Steve, the tight, slick heat of him.

“Good—yeah. Mmm.”

Steve’s legs lifted to curl around Eddie’s hips, locking at the ankles. His heels jammed into Eddie’s lower back, encouraging.

“I’m good, I’m good—fuck me.”

The sound that ripped from Eddie was like an animal, desperate and untamed. Steve Harrington was his boyfriend, Steve Harrington was begging Eddie to fuck him, Steve Harrington had sweat dripping from his eyebrows, puddling at his neck, and kept squeaking like a kitten. He held Eddie’s biceps so hard he thought they’d bruise.

“Oh, yeah.” Steve groaned. “Yeah—fuck, Eddie. Why’d we wait so long?”

“No—fucking clue.” Eddie hissed, plunging his hips down into Steve. The skinny twin XL bed shook and scraped the linoleum floor, occasionally knocking a dent into the wall. Eddie couldn’t fucking care less. Screw the security deposit.

“Oh my God.” Steve garbled, breath growing choppier. His eyes began to flutter, his face flushed darker and darker red.

“You feel so nice on my cock, baby.” Eddie moaned, tilting his hips for an even better angle. “So hot for me.”

Steve tried to form a sentence but it morphed into the word “yeah,” over and over. He wrenched his eyes open again to stare at Eddie, devolving into a string of curses.

“Eds—” He whined, “Shit,”

“Touch yourself, babe.” Eddie instructed, clasping one of Steve’s wrists. Eddie spit into his palm and guided it to Steve’s dick. “Come while I fuck you.”

Steve was catapulted from planetary orbit, lost to euphoria while he jerked himself up and down. He wasn’t even timing it with Eddie’s strokes, out of his mind with pleasure.

“Yeah, like that,” Eddie encouraged, enraptured with the sight. He was presumably dead because this was literally fucking Heaven. He popped his hips against Steve, legs starting to tremble from the effort.

“Fuck.” Eddie puffed, hair sticking to the back of his neck, sweat slippery and hot, shared between their bodies. He was breathing like a dragon, Steve’s hand couldn’t go any faster.

“I’m—shit! Oh, shit.” Steve yelped suddenly.

Eddie felt him tense up, squeezed from the inside, so good it made him shout. Steve stilled and the tightness of him pulsed repeatedly. Eddie fucked the living daylights out of him while he finished, messy and loud, between the two of them.

“Fuuuuck.” Steve wailed, twitching hard while he rode it out. “Fuck!”

“Yeah, Steve, yes.”

Eddie gathered him up, palms over Steve’s ass. He rocked hard, over and over.

“Yes, yes, yes.” Eddie humped forward. “So good for me, Steve, fuck.”

Steve cried out in pleasure, tears pricking in his eyes. That was all it took for Eddie to come too, filling him up, head thrown back in a fever-dream high.

“Shiiit—!”

They trickled back to Earth together after, wobbly and weak. Eddie laid sweet kisses all over Steve’s face, gently bringing him back to the light.

“Okay?” He whispered to the apples of his cheeks.

“Great.” Steve murmured, sleepy.

“Mmm. I didn’t know you had some of those sounds in you, sweetheart.”

“Shut up.” Steve knocked him less than half-heartedly. “You’re one to talk.”

“You feel okay?” Eddie sat up slow, drinking in the sight of a blissed-out Steve in his bed. The comforter desperately needed to be washed, but his boyfriend looked idyllic. He stretched, stomach shiny with cum and sweat, and blinked at Eddie.

“Feel good.” Steve slurred, smiling lazily.

“Yeah?” Eddie combed back Steve’s crazy hair. He kissed him, heart bursting. “Me too.”

***

“Can we talk about something?” Steve asked, thirty minutes later, under the quilts in his own bedroom. They’d dumped everything of Eddie’s in the hamper, showered, and cuddled up to retire for the night. It was nearly three-fifteen and Steve had on his cute plaid pajama pants.

“Uhhh.” Eddie balked. “Is this gonna be bad?”

“No, doofus.” Steve laughed cutely, making patterns on Eddie’s bare chest, over his tattoos. They were in the dark now, comforted by the mellow kitchen glow coming in from under the door.

“I just.” Steve was forming figure eights. “Tonight—other than fucking Jason—tonight went really good, I think?—Obviously the sex was good, I mean, earlier. At formal.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Eddie rubbed his shoulder. Relaxed warmth flooded him. “I think so.”

“I’m really glad.” Steve sighed, relieved. “I wasn’t sure if it would be okay.—If you’d have fun. If everyone would be cool. And like, fuck Jason Carver, and his dumbass lackey. But everyone else was chill.”

“I did have fun.” Eddie chimed in, pressing a kiss to Steve’s shower-wet hair. “I liked dancing with you.”

“Mmhm.”

They drifted into quiet, near the edge of sleep. Eddie was on the verge of a wispy dream.

“Eddie?”

His eyes creaked open, back to wakefulness. Steve’s chin was propped on his chest, brown eyes shiny in the dim light.

“Is it bad…if I still want to go?”

“…Huh?”

He rubbed sleep from his eyes and regarded Steve. “What do you mean, Stevie?”

“Like…it could be okay here. Tonight proved it. We were boyfriends in public and Jason was the only douchebag to bother us. But—but I still want to go. Does that make me a bad friend? For wanting to leave them—Robin, Dustin, all of them?”

Steve made a sound like a deflating balloon. “It feels…selfish.”

It was hard to tell if he was tearing up, or if the glint was a trick of the light.

“Aw, Stevie.” Eddie wrapped him closer and Steve snuggled into the embrace.

“No, baby. I do, too.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. I want us to…find somewhere our own. Be ourselves. Not just, like, as a gay couple, but…as Eddie and Steve…I don’t think it’s in Indiana anymore.”

He could feel Steve frowning more than he could see it.

“I don’t either.”

Eddie soothed Steve’s back, creating small circles.

“Our friends are doing their own cool things, too. I don’t see Robin and Nance staying here. They’re too cool. Max will jet back to California. Lucas will follow her. Will’s gonna work on some animated movie in L.A.. I think in a few short years, we’ll all be FaceTiming.”

“…That sucks.” Steve grumbled, after a pause. “Growing up sucks.”

“It does.”

“…But you know, we graduate next month. We should probably figure our place out soon, at least.”

Eddie hummed in contemplation, mushed a kiss onto Steve’s forehead.

“Yeah. I’ve had some ideas, actually.”

“Aw.” Steve sounded genuinely surprised. “Really?”

“Is that so shocking?” Eddie barked a laugh. “That I imagine our cute little life together? I fantasize of our seaside cabin? Making sweet, sweet love to my future spouse every night? The mother of my children?”

“Oh, my God.” Steve’s eye-roll was tangible. He knocked his forehead into Eddie’s chin affectionately. “You’re ridiculous. But, please, do tell me your grand plans.”

“That’s what I thought.” Eddie cuddled him. “Have you ever been to Maine?”

Chapter Text

“All I’m saying is, you’re really missing an opportunity here, Steve.”

Dustin leaned backwards over Robin and Nancy’s couch, head touching the carpet. The girls sat on the floor, busy taping Polaroids from the year into a cute scrapbook.

“No, Dustin, I told you that’s stupid.”

“C’mon!” Dustin flipped to be right-side-up, crossing his arms in a harumph. “You never listen to my ideas.

Steve rolled his eyes. “I am not putting ‘Hotter By One Degree’ on my graduation cap. That’s the most basic bitch shit I’ve ever heard.”

Instead, he was peeling back large stickers of his frat letters to affix to it, and a bunch of little baseballs and basketballs.

“Well you didn’t play either of those sports for our school. Our high school, maybe. But not our college.”

Eddie snickered, in the middle of hot gluing matte black rhinestones to his. He was spelling out, “Roll for Diploma.”

“He’s got a point, Stevie.”

“They’re just for decoration.” Steve grumbled, face reddening. Eddie wanted to bite his pink cheeks, but refrained. Under the dining table, he twined his foot around Steve’s ankle instead.

“They’re cute, sweetheart.”

“Ugh, I can’t wait to decorate my grad cap.” Robin sighed, leaning heavily onto one hand. She kept repositioning a Polaroid of Will, Argyle, and Jonathan at a self-serve froyo shop. “I have an entire Pinterest board of ideas.”

“So do I.” Nancy nodded. “It’s going to be a process.”

Dustin flopped backwards onto the couch with a shrug. “Fine. I’ll save all the good ideas for myself then. Three years to go!”

Eddie cursed his perfectionism when the hot glue burned the tip of his finger. He winced and hissed, shook it out as if that would soothe the ache.

“It’ll go by fast, dude.”

Steve caught his hand, eyeballed the minuscule wound. “You okay?”

“No biggie.”

“I told you to be careful with the hot glue gun, Edward.” Robin cut her eyes over and squinted. “Don’t make me revoke privilege.”

“Maybe that’s a direct sign from the universe that you shouldn’t graduate yet.” Dustin joked. “Stay a little longer.”

“Hmph.” Eddie gently retracted his hand to stick his finger in his mouth. “I don’t think so, kid. I almost flunked high school, let’s just get this shit done. Can’t wait to never write a paper, take an exam, or do a group fucking project ever again.”

“Isn’t having a career just one big group project?” Nancy teased, smirking.

“Jesus, not if I can help it.”

“What do you wanna do, anyway?” Dustin asked. “Like, Steve’s gonna work in a school, I know that much. What about you, Eddie?”

“Pfff, uhhh, I dunno, man. You’re asking too many questions today.”

“He’s only asked one other question, Ed.” Nancy gently corralled him. “And it was if you’ve decided where you guys are moving; kind of important.”

Eddie observed the tiny pink spot on his finger, pretended it was really captivating. Didn’t make eye contact with anyone. Fuck if he knew what he was going to do.

Eddie spoke from the corner of his mouth. “Well, they’re hard questions.”

He paused, then Eddie breathed deeply and tilted his head Dustin’s way.

“Sorry, man. Just a little stressed. Uh, teaching music lessons still would be cool. Like doing that full time. Maybe I’ll work at the same school as Steve and we can hook up in the teacher’s lounge.”

“Gross.” Robin cringed.

“Sounds like a great way to get arrested.” Steve faked a dazzling smile.

“Free room and board in jail.” Eddie winked. He pushed back from his chair and stood to stretch. “I kid. Break time. Who wants to order a pizza?”

Unfortunately for them, Fat New York Slice did not deliver. Dustin elected Steve and himself to walk and pick it up. Robin jumped up to tag along, complaining her legs were cramping from sitting so long.

“Text me if you want anything else.” Steve plopped a kiss onto Eddie’s cheek.

Nancy waved as the trio departed, and then there were two.

“Thanks for keeping me in check, as always.” Eddie sauntered over to her and dropped to the floor to join, criss-cross applesauce.

“Mmhm.” She hummed, sorting through the photos in her lap. She handed Eddie half the stack. “Here. Pick your favorites. Keep whatever you want.”

Eddie laughed through his nose as he thumbed through the pile. They were a nice mix of candid and posed. Max and Lucas outside the movie theater, holding a comically-sized bucket of popcorn; Mike, El, and Will raising up Chinese takeout boxes as if in praise; Robin tipping a glass of white wine towards the camera. One of Dustin and Steve racing up a notoriously steep hill on campus; three feral cats that slunk around the dining hall; Argyle and Jonathan baking cookies; a surprise Hellfire Club ensemble with Eddie in the middle.

There were a ton from Halloween, too. Eddie laughed out loud at a picture of him, Steve, Robin, and Nancy. The girls went as Mario and Princess Peach, and Eddie had gone the simple route as a makeshift vampire.

Steve had thrown something together last-minute too, dressed as a life guard in swim trunks (unfortunately regular-length, not Chubbies) and a tank top. A whistle hung around his neck and sunglasses dangled off his collar. They were all completely off guard in the picture, not ready for it at all, and Eddie was so obviously checking out Steve’s arms.

“Jesus.” He laughed. “Could I have, like, tried to hide that, or no?”

Nancy snatched the Polaroid from him and giggled. “I think we were all kinda drunk by that point…I’m so glad you pulled your head out of your ass. Both of you.”

“Hah, gee, thanks, Nance.—Some of that is thanks to you, y’know.—And gimme that one, I wanna keep it.”

Nancy handed it back, but her palm lingered on Eddie’s. His eyes flicked from the photo back to her face. Surprise sank in his stomach like a stone; Nancy was frowning. She’d been laughing only a moment ago.

“…What?” Eddie pressed.

Nancy’s shoulders dipped. Weakly, she wrapped her fingers around his own. The picture stuck up between them.

“I’m gonna miss you.”

Nancy wouldn’t meet his eyes. She settled on their entwined hands.

Grief struck Eddie, deep and uncomfortable like something lodged in his throat.

“Shit, Wheeler.” He muttered, heart compressing. “We’re gonna do this now?”

She squeezed, sharp acrylics digging into his skin. But Eddie didn’t shake her off. Part of him felt it was owed. Like Steve, he felt selfish, leaving them behind.

“Not much time left to, is there?”

“You make it sound like I’m fucking withering away.”

“That’s because you’re dead to me now.”

She finally looked up, smiling but with sad, blue eyes. Nancy wasn’t going to cry, but this was close.

“Should we hold a funeral?”

Nancy lurched forward, squashing Eddie into a tight hug. Her petite frame was girlish and soft, so different from what he was used to with Steve. The smell of her hair enveloped him, floral and pastel.

“Yeah.” Nancy said, into his shirt. “Here lies Eddie Munson, a stupid bitch.”

“So kind.”

Nancy eventually slunk back and they sat across from each other, like little kids digging in a sandbox. Their knees tapped together.

“…You know you’re one of my best friends, right?” Her voice was quiet, but earnest. “After Barb moved away in high school…I was super lonely for a while. And then Steve and I broke up,…and then me and Jonathan broke up. I just…I closed off. For a long time.”

“I know.” Eddie said softly, because he did.

“I mean, I ended up getting with Robin, of course, and, got closer with everybody, but I just…” Nancy inhaled deeply. “I appreciate you, Eddie. You’re a good person. And it’s going to be really weird without you here.”

Eddie sniffed. Her blue eyes were shiny. “You’re getting me all choked up, Nance.”

“Pussy.”

The sad tension melted off, both of them cracking a smile and laughing. Eddie flicked her leg.

“Guess I am.”

He turned back to the pile of Polaroids, fanned out on the floor. Eddie slowly sorted through them, taking in each snapshot.

“Will you mail me the new ones you take next year?”

He caught the corner of one photo; him and Nancy, presenting the camera with a huge box of pastries. An unknown hand crept in from out of frame to snatch a donut. Looked like El’s.

“And I’ll send you some of me and Steve.”

Eddie claimed that one, putting it in his “to take” pile.

“Yeah.” She agreed. “We can be penpals.”

Nancy handed him another one, a Hellfire Club session spread out in a library study room. Dustin was flicking off the camera. He could see Fred, in the far corner.

“You’ll get lots of good ones from me.” Eddie told her, adding it to the stack. “Where we’re going is pretty fucking cool.”

“What?!” Nancy gasped suddenly, eyes flicking up with lightning speed. She shoved Eddie’s chest while he bit back a smile.

“Don’t fuck with me, Eddie—you guys know?”

He didn’t answer, just raised his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders.

“Why didn’t you say when Dustin asked?! What the hell?!”

“Eh. Steve is still feeling iffy, we have to talk more—it’s closer to his parents’ condo than he’d like, but, we found a cheap apartment in a nice area, where the lease would line up.”

Nancy glared at him, face scrunched.

“If you don’t tell me right now—”

Eddie tapped her cheek, gently. “Of course I’m gonna tell you, relax. I wouldn’t have mentioned it otherwise. We’re pretty sure we’re going to Maine.”

Nancy blinked in surprise. “Whoa. Like, lobster Maine?”

“Uh,” Eddie laughed. Was there another? “Yes?”

“Wow. Just unexpected, I guess. Would’ve pegged you guys for like, San Diego, or Seattle, or something.”

“Yeah, I dunno.” Eddie smirked, thinking of several long nights on apartments dot com. After he’d mentioned Maine, they decided to give it a try. It was beautiful, rich, and brimming with nature. It had the four seasons (even though the winters were long), was mostly liberal, there were some nice cities they had their eyes on.

Then they’d torn their hair out, argued over price range (because Steve was willing to pay more, and Eddie wanted to split evenly). Got into their first actual yelling match as a couple because it was such a big step and neither knew exactly what to do. Would it be too close to Steve’s stupid parents’ second residence? Would they be able to find jobs? Would they even make enough for fucking rent? Were they going to get a cat right away, or wait a year? Would they even stay there a year? Was leaving Indiana still the right choice?

It had ended in apologies, and they revisited a few days later to make a decision. Steve was ninety-nine percent in. He wanted to shuffle around some finances first to become even more independent from his parents.

“It’s the plan, for now.”

“Well, I hope you get a second bedroom, because we will very much be visiting.” Nancy batted her eyelashes and crossed her arms. “Probably this summer, even.”

“Oh, so we’re gonna move in in June, and you’ll be there July?” Eddie joked.

Nancy raised her chin in determination.

“All right, so you’re serious. Noted. You might be in sleeping bags, but you guys are always welcome.”

“Good.” Nancy nodded. “Really. Good…I’m happy for you both. Take care of each other.”

Eddie turned back to the Polaroids, his discomfort from earlier finally subsiding. Nancy did the same, sliding any she liked his way with a soft smile.

“You know we will.”

***

Some thirty minutes later, the door creaked open. The smell of pizza wafted through as the trio shuffled into the kitchen.

“We’re home.” Robin called, but her voice was tight, immediately alerting Eddie to something unusual. Nancy noticed it too, both of them looking up from the scrapbook at the same time.

Dustin was unusually quiet, arranging two boxes of pizza on the countertop to be evenly lined up. Robin dunked her head into the fridge to fish out drinks, but took an extended amount of time to do it. Steve had a pinched look on his face, jaw set hard as he dumped the two bags of garlic knots onto the table. His brows were drawn down, crumpling a wrinkle between them.

Eddie gaped in surprise as Steve stomped over.

“Hey, um,” Steve began, not meeting Eddie’s eyes. He could feel Nancy’s puzzled gaze too.

Steve dug into his pants pocket and produced the car keys. He offered them to Eddie.

“You can drive home whenever later. I’m gonna go for a walk, okay?”

Eddie was speechless.

Up close, Steve’s chest shook with each breath. His temples flexed each time he clenched his teeth. He still refused to make eye contact.

“…Babe?” Eddie frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Need to take a walk.”

Steve pushed the keys forward, bending to basically drop them into Eddie’s lap. They fell with a tiny jingle, but it echoed in the apartment.

Eddie cut his eyes over Steve’s shoulder to Robin. She chewed on her lip. Dustin uncomfortably scratched the back of his head.

“What’s—”

“Just bring me some pizza home later, okay?” Steve asked, petting Eddie’s hair as he turned to go.

Eddie, paralyzed in confusion, couldn’t stop him from leaving.

“Steve—”

But Steve rushed out the door, and it shut loudly behind him.

“What the fuck was that?” Eddie blurted, pushing quickly to stand the moment after. He buried the car keys into his pocket.

Eddie looked to Robin and Dustin for answers, but they were equally stumped.

“I…don’t know.” Robin replied in earnest, biting her nails.

“We were waiting to pick up the pizza in the store, and then he got a phone call so he went outside to take it.” Dustin explained. “By the time we got out there too with the food, he was just kinda…like that. Barely said a word the whole way back.”

Eddie huffed and made way for the door.

“This guy would rather cut off his limbs than talk about his fucking feelings.” Eddie grumbled. “Hopefully be right back.”

Eddie hurried out to the street and cast his eyes both directions, unsure which way Steve would’ve gone. Thankfully he spotted him in the distance, “walking,” but hauling ass, already a tiny figure down the sidewalk. Eddie picked up the pace, half-jogging to catch up.

“Steve!” He yelled, but his boyfriend didn’t turn. Hands in his pockets, head down, Steve wasn’t paying attention. Cars passed loudly, uproar of the general hustle and bustle of a college town.

“Steve!” Eddie shouted again, louder, feet slamming the pavement now. The keys stabbed into his leg with each step.

Steve still didn’t acknowledge him, so Eddie had to literally run, and catch his shoulder.

“Can you slow the fuck down?” Eddie panted, squeezing so Steve couldn’t dart away. They’d collided under a big tree, leaves falling peacefully in the wind. Birds chirped, the sun shone on a nice spring day, but Steve looked sullen.

“I didn’t know you followed.” He sighed, “Sorry.”

“Yeah, didn’t exactly give me a chance to. What’s the matter? What happened?” Eddie slipped his hand down to Steve’s elbow, wrist, then hand.

“I’m just—I just wanna go for a walk.”

“Respectfully, babe, total bullshit.” Eddie glared. Why did Steve love to put up walls? Why was it sometimes so hard to climb them? Eddie wanted to take a sledgehammer and break through.

“Yeah, well, that’s all it is, I dunno. Can you give me some time alone?”

Eddie recoiled like he’d been slapped. Then he inched closer, searched Steve’s downcast face. But Steve didn’t budge, continued to breathe like he just ran a mile.

“…Baby. C’mon.” Eddie encouraged softly, pushing past the sting. Remember that time you told me you had a ‘headache,’ and then you cried on the couch a bunch? I know something’s wrong, but I can’t help if you don’t talk to me.”

Steve gently pried his hand away and carded his fingers through his hair, a nervous tick. He turned to the side and tugged hard, pulling at the roots. He shot an angry breath through his nose.

“Is it me?” Eddie asked meekly, gut suddenly sinking.

Steve closed his eyes, grated his teeth like he was chewing sand. Eddie watched him sink, quietly, dismally, a rock thrown into the water.

“No. My parents called.”

Eddie held his breath.

“They aren’t coming to graduation.”

Fuck.

Oh, fuck, that was brutal.

Eddie reached up to touch his chest.

“Steve—”

“And why should I care, right?” Steve exploded. He wrenched his hands from his hair and threw out his arms. Deep red flushed up his neck.

“Like—fuck them! I’ve been spending so long wanting to get away from them!”

A car whooshed past, scattering birds in the tree above.

“They always fucking show me off and brag about me. They take me on fancy vacations, post my fucking picture on Facebook for all their shitty rich friends. It’s like I’m some—some pedigree fucking dog and then—then I’m just kicked to the side, I’m shoved out back to piss in the fucking grass. I’m just—”

Unshed tears gathered in Steve’s eyes, and they twitched to hold them back. His lips had gone dark, he spat out his words. Eddie let him.

“I’m just so angry and I shouldn’t be—right, because they really suck, but I’m so angry!”

He finally broke, mashed the heels of his hands against his eyes as the tears crept in. Steve furiously wiped them away as his entire body trembled.

“I did want they wanted, I was a preppy little asshole in high school, came to a big state college—maybe I’m not doing exactly what they want but I’m doing something, and why the fuck isn’t it enough?”

He paused, heavy, leaden, painful.

“Why aren’t I enough?”

“Steve. You are enough. Don’t say that.”

“Not to them!” He snarled, tossing down his hands. Steve’s cheeks were splotchy and pink, eyelids already swollen. Eddie couldn’t help it, he curled a hand against his face. Damp under his fingertips.

“I go to college for four long years. I bust my ass. But the day we walk across the stage they have some business conference. Huge, meeting of the fucking year, out in California so it’s not even the same time zone, it’s—it’s—”

“It’s fucked, Steve.”

“It’s fucked.” Steve growled, expression crumbling. “They’ve had this date since last year, Eddie! Last fucking year!”

“I know.” Eddie stepped in, wrapping his arms around Steve when his breath started catching.

Cars continued to pass. A dog walker skittered across the road to avoid them. Eddie held Steve while he cried, knowing nothing he said would make it better. He couldn’t fathom this hurt; he had Wayne. His parents were gone but he always had Wayne.

“I hate them.” Steve said pathetically, into Eddie’s shirt. “I hate them so much. It’s all so fucking fake.”

“You’re allowed to, baby. It’s okay.” He kissed Steve’s hair, squeezed him for stability.

Steve suddenly sobbed harder, entire frame shuddering. Eddie tried to soothe him.

Steve continued. “I don’t—”

He couldn’t get it out.

“Shh, baby, it’s all right.” Eddie comforted him with soft sounds, rubbed circles over his back.

Steve sniffled hard, shoved his nose into Eddie’s neck. His voice was weak when he finally spoke.

“I don’t want them to hate me though.”

“Aw, Steve…”

And what was Eddie supposed to say to that? He knew words were pointless. He knew Steve’s parents were garbage. Did they hate him? Probably not. But apathy was even fucking worse. At least hatred had passion behind it.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered. “You don’t deserve this, Steve.”

“Maybe I do. Making up for the shitty person I used to be.”

“Shut up.” Eddie tousled him gently. “You were a kid, okay? Your parents are adults. And they’re your parents. They should’ve never treated this way to begin with. You were in asshole in high school because of them. Stop.”

Steve sniveled as Eddie brought him down from the edge, rocking them back and forth until his body eventually stilled. They could’ve beat this conversation into the ground, an endless loop of Steve deprecating himself when he didn’t need to.

Eventually, Steve unglued from Eddie. He stayed caged in his arms but let the sun hit his face. Steve exhaled, shut his eyes and tipped skyward. Hot tears streaked his skin. Eddie reached up, wiped them with the back of his hand.

“You’re enough. Period, point blank.” Eddie whispered. “You don’t need your piece of shit parents to tell you that.”

Steve didn’t reply, just opened his eyes to watch the clouds. The sky was sort of blue, sort of overcast. The birds that had disbanded sat above them now, peering down at the scene from a telephone wire.

“You’re enough for me. You’re enough for our friends.—Who are your real family. Okay?”

Steve was quiet for a long time. Eddie bunched the fabric of his shirt, skimmed his hands along Steve’s ribs to remind him he was there.

“…Okay.”

Eddie pulled him closer, pressed a kiss to Steve’s forehead. He brushed away stray hairs, tucked them behind Steve’s ears.

“Will you come back to Robin and Nancy’s with me? They and Dustin were worried about you.”

Steve blew out a breath and finally untangled from Eddie. He swept imaginary dirt off his shirt, gathering himself. When a jogger whizzed past them on the sidewalk, Steve cleared his throat. He scrubbed over his face, clearing away eye gunk and snot.

“Walking out like that was a dick move, huh?”

“You’re forgiven. Come back.”

The sunlight washed over Steve, bathing him in yellow. Eddie wanted to gather him up in a ball of yarn, wrap it cozily around him until he felt all the way better.

Steve hesitated. “I dunno, babe, I—”

“Do you really want me to drive your car home? Like, actually?”

Steve finally laughed, Eddie’s favorite sound, beaten down but still genuine.

“Good point. I was being irrational in my meltdown.”

“C’mon. Come have the pizza that you probably paid for.”

Steve let Eddie take his hand and drag him back to the apartment. They strolled slowly, let him calm down on the way.

“Thanks.” Steve squeezed Eddie’s ringed palm. “For coming after me. I won’t run away next time…I love you, and I appreciate you. Sorry I’m a brick wall sometimes.”

“I love you, too, Stevie. I’ll always come after you. Very soon it’s us against the world, baby.” Eddie raised their clasped hands and shook them in the air like Steve was a first place champion. “Fuck everyone else.”

Steve chuckled, unlinked their hands to toss an arm around Eddie’s waist. It made walking awkward, but they hobbled together, attached at the hip.

“Us against the world.”

***

Robin tackled Steve when they returned, chewing him out like a stern grandmother. Actually said she’d been “worried sick.” Eddie wouldn’t have been surprised if she grabbed his fucking ear lobe.

When Steve begrudgingly explained the situation, Robin turned red like a kettle on the stove. Metaphorical steam shot out of her ears. It set her off on a rant about how horrible Steve’s parents had always been, as long as she’d known him. That she was sorry, but she wasn’t surprised, and he was better off without them. Dustin and Nancy shared the same sentiments.

“I’ll scream so loud when they call your name at graduation, your stupid parents will hear me in California. Show them what they’re missing!” Robin declared.

“Yeah, forget it, Steve. Forget them, fuck them.” Dustin harrumphed. “You’re gonna feel so goddamn loved by all of us for the rest of your life that you won’t even give them a second thought.”

Steve laughed again, shook his head. Arms crossed, he nodded his head at Dustin.

“Thanks, man.”

They all sat at the table, plates full of pizza. Eddie kneaded Steve’s thigh with one hand and munched on a garlic knot in the other.

“Nance,” He prompted, gesturing with the garlic knot hand.

She raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”

"You still got any of that weed here? I think Steve could use some.”

Then smoke curled to the ceiling, pleasant and warm, while they collectively finished the Polaroid scrapbook. That’s how they capped off the night, high as fuck, reminiscing, eventually laughing until the wee hours of the morning.

Eddie was happy and Steve was back to smiling. When Nancy and Robin retired to their room, they fell asleep on the floor with Dustin, all cozy under the same huge blanket.

***

Graduation day.

It had been a four-year-long hike up the world’s steepest goddamn mountain, where the peak was a long, gilded stage. Eddie had barely slept, hadn’t really expected to be so nervous but he and Steve had tossed and turned in tandem until four in the morning, and then pure exhaustion bit them out. His alarm had been like a fucking train horn. Snoozed it twice.

And then they’d gotten ready together, with a steamy, too-long shower, involving more kissing and fooling around than actual showering. It took the edge off. Steve had helped Eddie tame his hair into a presentable low bun, sort of like at formal but not nearly as elegant.

And here they were now, crammed into the back wings of the gigantic auditorium with a thousand other students, donned in the ugly, satin, black robes.

“I think I’m gonna throw up.” Steve quipped, fiddling with his cap for the millionth time. The elastic made him look like a dork.

“You already said that, stop or you’re gonna give me your nausea.” Eddie poked him.

The chatter around them was a dull roar, all the students feeling restless and excited as they waited. Dustin kept Snapchatting Eddie photos from the stands as the ceremony space was set up.

“It’s gonna be fine.” Eddie affirmed to Steve with a nod. He put his hands on his shoulders. “Walk in a straight line, don’t trip, don’t vomit on anyone’s shoes, take the piece of paper and go.”

Steve smirked at him but relaxed into the grip.

“I’m surprised you’re so chill, y’know. You couldn’t sleep last night, either.”

Eddie shrugged, feigning nonchalance. His stomach was truthfully in knots too.

“I’m fine. A walk in the park.”

A few minutes later and a gigantic curtain parted like the Red Sea. Eddie looked up in surprise. Orchestral music swelled all around them and the mass of students began to move, morphing into a line to edge through. Staff in stuffy velvet robes and funny hats directed them like airline traffic controllers.

“Oh, fuck, it’s happening.” A girl to Eddie’s left gasped, completely encapsulating his own feelings. He caught Steve’s hand to keep from separating.

The crowd wormed through the curtain, slowly, inching a little bit at a time. The music was almost deafening, coupled with shouts and laughter from the people around them. Eddie followed the heads in front of him blindly, towing Steve along.

It eventually bottlenecked into a single-file line, and before long they were weaving between endless rows of chairs.

“Look for everybody.” Steve reminded him with a tug to the hand. Eddie looked up to scan the crowd, overwhelmed with the sheer size of it. Tiers of stadium seating towered over them.

“Holy shit.” Eddie said under his breath. Then he laughed, elbowed Steve gently. “Imagine Corroded Coffin playing here.”

Steve flashed him a cute smile.

When the line backed up to a stop, they took their seats, side-by-side. Steve whipped his head around, looking for their friends.

“They said…top right…Dustin said he’d wear neon orange so that—there they are!” He pointed over Eddie’s shoulder, two the second floor of the auditorium. Steve waved and waved.

Eddie followed his gaze to see their motley crew, jumping up and down and waving maniacally back. The whole Party had showed up for them, because of course they would. Plus Chrissy, Wayne, Michelle, Joyce and Hopper. Eddie hoped that Steve wouldn’t feel the absence of his parents too badly. For a few days it had been like a gaping wound, with big bouts of ugly sadness. Eddie wanted him to heal.

“Our number one fans.” Eddie cheesed, curling an arm over Steve’s shoulders. He wiggled his fingers to their friends and family, even if they couldn’t see the gesture.

Steve twisted to sit right in his seat and took a giant breath.

“Feels a little better. Seeing them.”

“Yeah?”

Steve nodded. “Yeah.”

The rest was a fucking blur. Eddie recognized a few professors and administrators who gave rousing speeches on success. A couple students took turns to the podium, moving the audience with their stories of adversity and triumph. Eddie joined in the applause when they were done.

And then it was moving, like whiplash as students filed back the way they came, this time curving to take the stage instead of disappearing behind the curtain. Underclassmen in blazers told them which path to take and periodically stopped them for overflow.

“I want you to go first.” Eddie told Steve, under his breath, snagging his gown when they were about twenty people away from climbing up the goddamn steps. “Switch with me.”

“Really? Now?” Steve griped, but let Eddie shove him in front.

“Gotta cheer for you.”

The look Steve gave him after that could’ve melted his fucking heart. Brown eyes simmering, stupid cap digging a line into his forehead. Eddie wanted to rip it off and throw it to the Heavens. If there weren’t already cameras projecting them onto a huge display screen for the whole arena, Eddie would’ve kissed him senseless. They were on the fringe, maybe he could still make it?

“Name cards ready please, gentlemen.” An older woman whispered, holding out her hand. Eddie very quickly realized twenty people had shortened to ten.

Oh, God.

They each dug in their pockets and procured the small squares. Eddie had reluctantly put “Edward Munson” on his, because he knew somewhere, sometime, way back when, his mom had picked the name.

“Edward and Steven.” Eddie snickered when he caught sight of Steve’s.

Steve held a chuckle. “Unfortunately.”

And then ten shrank to five and—holy shit Steve was on the stairs, holy shit Eddie was right behind him—holy shit the lights were so bright, so blindingly bright, and Eddie would be so mad if he fainted in front of thousands of people at his college graduation; it was so not metal.

He clawed the handrail for balance and followed after Steve, ears roaring, heart slamming, chest trembling. He forced himself to look left, at the smiling staff and accomplished alumni. No Principal Higgins here, nobody to give the middle finger to.

Eddie had…liked college. Loved college.

—That was a stretch, he’d loved parts of college and suddenly it was culminating to this short stretch of hardwood, microphone feedback, four years of time compressed into a two-hour ceremony and his skin was actually tingling, this was insane, school was over, forever, he and Steve were graduating, literally, this second.

Holy fuck, sensory overload.

Eddie was a performer, he was used to the stage, but he’d never been thrust into such existentialism or pushed to the absolute edge of something so definitively, this was a bookmark of his life, page turning, no looking back, it was over, really, truly—fuck—and he—

“Steven Harrington.”

Ice crackled through Eddie, stilling him, freezing him in place, cooling him down instantly. He broke through the impenetrable mental fog and zeroed in on the man ahead of him. He watched Steve’s shoulders as he inhaled and tipped his chin up. And then he walked.

And it was why Eddie asked him to go first.

Pride surged through him, loud, boisterous, joyful. Eddie was so fucking proud, and he loved Steve so much.

He clapped hard, rings stinging into his palms. Eddie whooped and hollered and shouted from the bottom of his stomach. In the stands, their Party matched him tenfold.

They’d met back in Hawkins, sure, but their love had grown here. Blossomed from a tiny, squished flower to a beautiful bouquet. In this town, on this campus, they became Eddie and Steve, roommates, two halves of the same whole, then friends, then so much better than fucking friends.

And this stepping stone was behind them now, and that was really scary, but the only way to go was forward.

And they’d be fine. Better than fine.

“Edward Munson.”

Eddie accidentally laughed at the ridiculousness of it all; the formality of his name, the stupid, hideous gown, the way the faculty were all dressed up like DnD characters in their higher-education garb. He laughed at Steve, who’d spun at the other end of the stage to stop and watch him cross, instead of going down the stairs like he was supposed to. He laughed because he could hear Wayne’s wolf-whistle, and Chrissy’s ex-cheerleader screams, among the rest of the clamor.

He laughed because he was really fucking happy.

Eddie walked, shook hands, took the empty folder that would house his dumb future diploma. And then he raced offstage with Steve, shoulders knocking. They had to hold back their giggles, still close to the cameras, still about four hundred people to go.

They each took a photo in front of a terribly tacky American flag/fake plant setup, folders held out in front of them, and then skittered back to their seats to watch the rest of the ceremony.

An hour later, they collectively moved their tassels from one side to the other, and Eddie kissed Steve, as confetti rained around them.

***

Despite her small stature, Chrissy rammed Eddie like a rhino when she hugged him. She was spouting gibberish that sounded like, “I’m so proud of you!” Then he was blindsided by Nancy, Robin, Jonathan, and Argyle. The kids were quick to catch up, passing them around like volleyballs, smashing Eddie and Steve into too-tight hugs. Joyce and Hopper took their turns, especially doting on Steve, and Michelle and Wayne finally caught Eddie last.

“My little Edward.” Wayne joked, eyes shiny with nostalgia. He curled Eddie into the warmest hug, enveloping him in the smell of cigarettes and coffee. He held Eddie out at arm’s length and gave him a once-over.

“Ain’t so little anymore, Ed. Congratulations, son.”

To Eddie’s surprise, Wayne turned and tossed a hand on Steve’s shoulder too. He gave it a paternal squeeze.

“And to you, too, Steve. You’re both my boys now. I’m proud of you, too.”

Steve went red and smiled, let himself be pulled into a hug.

“Thanks, Wayne.”

“So, what’s the plan now?” Joyce asked brightly. “Some dinner to celebrate our graduates?—And nobody will complain when I take a hundred pictures, you hear me?”

“Can’t let them eat in peace, huh?” Hopper rolled his eyes.

Nancy held up her Polaroid in agreement. “No, no peace today.”

Eddie wiggled his fingers over and took Steve’s hand. There was one place they absolutely had to go. The Mecca of their college dining experience.

“Well, it’s really small but, Basil Bistro?”

Steve laughed, and Dustin cheered.

“Yeah, Basil Bistro.”

So they crammed into a few cars and made their way to one of the most casual restaurants in town, practically toppling over the building to all fit inside. It was bittersweet, kinda happy, kinda sad. Eddie wrestled with the most confusing mixture of being so, so hollow and so, so full of joy. He would miss this, he would never have this again, not in the exact same way.

But a new life awaited, somewhere close to the shore, a craggy beach to hold hands on, windows to throw open at night. Steve by the sea, cozy in his bed, waking up to kiss him every morning. A cat eventually, maybe a dog, maybe even further out another little human that they’d cherish and share their happiness with.

Eddie smiled for pictures, popped champagne, and let Steve share some of his pad Thai. They were surrounded by family and love, and he knew that, even from a distance, their metaphorical well would never run dry. They’d always have these people, these pillars, to help them through. Growing up was scary as fuck, but Eddie and Steve weren’t alone.

The future was all laid in front of them, like a grayed-out map in a video game. Vast and unknown. Lots of level-ups, new skills and talents, things to explore, challenges and side quests to take on. Intimidating, but exciting.

And, if Steve was there too, Eddie was ready to play.

Chapter Text

Eddie awoke to small kisses, lightly showered over his face like snowflakes. Soft on his cheeks, his eyelids, his lips. He opened his eyes slowly, waking gradually, sinking back into his body from a nice dream. Steve leaned over him.

“Good morning, sunshine.” His boyfriend whispered, gently pushing back Eddie’s bedhead. Steve’s arm curled around his neck.

“What time is it?” Eddie grumbled, taking in the low light of the room. Early morning, quiet yellow gleamed in from behind the drawn shades.

“Seven.”

Eddie made a displeased sound and twisted to nuzzle Steve’s chest. He buried his nose in the fine hair there and squeezed his eyes shut again, arm falling over Steve’s waist.

“Wake me up in two more hours.”

“No.” Steve pinched him, making Eddie jump. “You told me last night to wake you up early, so we can clean before everybody gets here.”

Eddie internally rolled his eyes, hating Eddie-from-the-night-before. Stupid logic.

“We’ve only lived here like a month.” Eddie mumbled into Steve’s skin. “How dirty can the place be?”

Steve hummed, then paused, like he was plotting. Eddie’s eyes snapped open.

Then, like an attack:

“Could be pretty dirty.”

Steve suddenly rolled them, wrestling Eddie underneath him in one fell swoop. The blankets were cast aside. Steve assaulted him with tickles, then caressed him, slipping his hands over Eddie’s body and straddling his hips. Eddie was pinned, but he wasn’t complaining.

Steve’s sturdy hands clasped over his wrists, the illusion of being in control. Steve was physically stronger, but Eddie could melt him to a puddle easily, if he wanted to.

For now, he didn’t want to.

“Okay,” Eddie chuckled, while the other man laid easy kisses up his neck. “So, you really woke me up for sex, the cleaning thing was just a ruse.”

Steve’s tongue lapped Eddie’s collarbone, languid, tasting a fine sheen of salt and sweat. Their new place didn’t have AC, and Eddie had to sleep with a blanket.

“No,” He said quietly, not looking up. “We still need to clean.”

Steve worked his way down, leisurely, moving on from Eddie’s neck to his upper chest. He gently sucked a mark between Eddie’s pecs.

“But with all our company it might be hard to do this for a week. So, it’s also on the list.”

Eddie grinned, twisted his fingers into Steve’s stringy hair. He shifted up his waist, morning wood and growing arousal pushing into Steve’s hips. He felt him too, through his pajama pants. The preppy, cute, plaid ones he always wore.

“That’s true, baby, you’re a little too loud-mouthed to keep it down for our guests’ sake.” Eddie sneered.

Steve nipped him in retaliation.

“Not my fault. You make me loud. You don’t know how to be discreet.”

Eddie’s stomach muscles fluttered as Steve moved further still. Pink lips mouthed his abdomen, rough hands took careful hold of his ribs.

“Yeah, nothing about me really screams ‘discreet,’ sweetheart.” Eddie laughed, dropping his head back to the pillows. The hand in Steve’s hair tightened when he started for the waistband of his sweats.

“Maybe you should put something in my mouth, shut me up.”

“Nobody’s even here yet, I’d rather you—fuck.” Eddie gasped as Steve yanked his pants down, tugged them over his thighs quickly. Anticipation stirred through Eddie, pleasant and warm.

“You’d rather me fuck?”

“You’re really horny for it being the ass crack of dawn.” Eddie teased, moving his hand down to cup Steve’s jaw. Sparkly eyes looked up at him in the dim light of the bedroom. The breeze outside softly stirred against the windows, and Eddie was in heaven already.

“We have a lot to do, just checking this off quick.” Steve joked, voice heavy with amusement. Eddie loved him, loved his flirting.

“Guess I appreciate the efficiency.” He winked, then sighed when Steve touched him.

It was with practiced ease now that Steve gave him head. Very practiced. But not in a boring way, more like a, he knew how to push all of Eddie’s buttons way. Like a favorite sweater, the best dish at a restaurant, a song someone knew all the fucking words to. Eddie’s body positively thrummed, toes curling into the sheets at the first lap of tongue.

“Good fucking morning, Stevie, hello.” Eddie hummed, knees bending to shelter Steve in between. His thighs tightened around broad shoulders.

Steve made an approving sound and squeezed Eddie around the base, propping up onto his elbows for better leverage. His movements were sinfully sweet and lavish.

Eddie groaned, fisting a hand back in Steve’s hair and laying the other over his cheek. He traced his lips, where Steve wrapped around him, shivering.

“Fuck, baby. Such a pretty little mouth, huh?”

Steve purred, picking up the pace, opening his mouth wider, taking him deeper. Gently, Eddie lifted his hips, rocking into the rhythm.

“Mmhm.” Steve encouraged, free hand grappling up to grip Eddie’s waist.

Eddie tipped into it harder. “Always take me so good.”

Steve did, took it as far as he could, held Eddie in the perfect fucking heat of his mouth for several seconds. And then he drew back, gasping, slick with spit.

“Shit, you’re so hot.” Eddie praised, reaching down to rub himself on Steve’s jaw. His brain felt fuzzy already, murky with sleep and now overcome with buzzing want. A delicious cocktail.

“What do you want?” Steve whispered, skin tinged pink from his efforts. He leaned forward, raked his fingers over Eddie’s lower stomach. Across his happy trail, down the V of his pelvis. He kept looking up at Eddie through his thick, girly lashes. Eddie ran a hand up and down his own dick, liked when it was close to Steve’s chest. Liked when he arched his back into it. God, they’d just started, and he already wanted to blow his fucking load.

“You want me to keep going down on you?” Steve tiled his head, voice sultry. “You wanna fuck me? How do you want it?”

Eddie blew out a breath, twisting his wrist. “Why the special treatment for me, huh?”

“Oh, don’t worry, you’ll give me mine.” Steve raised his eyebrows. “Right?”

His hot, devilish smirk, shiny like he was wearing fucking lipgloss, sent Eddie right to the edge. He suddenly scrambled to pull Steve on top of him.

“Get on my fucking lap, ride me, baby.”

“Oh, yeah. I can do that.” Steve agreed, pushing up and slinging his legs over to get into place. He stretched sideways, reached to the bedside drawer and wrenched out a bottle of lube, used just the night before. Steve uncapped it, dribbled it liberally over Eddie.

“Shit, you’re just going for it?” Eddie actually laughed, as Steve tossed the tube onto the bedspread. “Just, right now?”

Steve rolled his shoulders, lined himself up. All business today.

“We did it like, what, five, six hours ago? I’ll be fine. We’ve got a schedule to keep.”

“Jesus Christ, you’re—"

Steve lowered down, grinning at the sound that punched out of Eddie. The fucking feeling, the unrivaled sensation of being halfway connected with Steve Harrington. His mouth fell open, the highest high.

“You’re fucking incredible.” Eddie choked. His brain frazzled completely when Steve bottomed out. “Fuck.”

Steve moaned back, unaccustomed to being stretched so quickly. He tensed up momentarily, even tighter, somehow, and then started fucking bouncing. Their skin quietly slapped together, the single greatest sound Eddie had ever heard.

“Shit, oh, shit.” Steve breathed hard. Eddie thanked his lucky stars for his boyfriend’s athleticism. He wrapped his fingers over Steve’s chiseled hips and tried to help keep the tempo. Riding someone did not look easy.

“I ever told you you have a huge cock?” Steve puffed, hands falling forward to support himself on Eddie’s chest. The pink shade on his neck was gradually deepening to red. His lips were so fucking wet.

Eddie barked out a laugh, “Probably. But tell me again?”

Steve whimpered when Eddie finally angled to the right spot. His head slung backwards.

“Oh, fuck. You’ve—got a huge cock, Eds.”

“Mmm. All for you, sweetheart.” Eddie squeezed him tighter. “God, you feel good.”

“You feel fucking good. You’re hitting it so perfect, you’re—oh, yeah.”

Steve shuddered, pausing to feel, arching up hard and then dropping back slowly. He pushed down, let all his weight fall onto Eddie, and the motherfucking stars aligned somewhere above. Both of them spewed gibberish.

“This’ll never get old, baby.” Eddie slurred, digging craters into Steve’s skin, savoring the flex of his muscles underneath it. Above him, Steve hissed, slapped down harder, clenched.

“I could—I could fuck you every fucking day.” Eddie breathed, tearing his gaze from where their bodies met to Steve’s handsome face. Brown eyes were screwed shut, mouth agape. Sweat shone on blushing skin.

“I love you.” Eddie said raggedly. “Mmm, so much.”

“Shit—I love you, too, shit.” Steve cried, pace quickening. His eyebrows drew together and he gnawed his lower lip. Light cascaded in from behind the curtains, Eddie swore he saw an angel. They were literally in their seaside shack now, the waves churning outside, a lackadaisical lifetime of sunrises and sunsets ahead of them.

“Come for me, baby.” Eddie begged, foggy with reverence, clouded over with adoration for the man above him. It was so much bigger than a fucking orgasm, it was giving him pleasure, giving him joy, wanting Steve to feel so goddamn good, every day, forever, their whole life—God, he loved him, it was swallowing him whole. It was building inside him.

“C’mon, Steve, fucking—“

Eddie wrenched a hand from his waist, quickly spit into his palm, and found Steve’s dick between their bodies.

Steve let out a strangled noise, overcome with pleasure, and lost traction for a split second. He gathered himself, pouring out curse words, and rolled into the touch.

“Yeah, babe, fucking come for me.” Eddie gritted out. He was so close himself, simmering with white-hot lava. Too fast, too hasty, driven by their insane blaze of passion, still so fiery. “Come all over me, I know you like that.”

“Oh, fuck.” Steve wailed, trembling now, hands slipping over Eddie’s damp skin. He clutched him like an anchor.

“Oh, yeah, Eds, I’m—fuck—I’m—”

Steve cried out, thighs tipping inward as he came hard. Ropes of white splayed between them, on Steve, on Eddie, painting them like a fucking picture. He rode through it until he was shaking, voice strung out from the higher octaves.

“Yes, yes, fuck, Steve, yes.”

“Oh, my God.” Steve sobbed, pumping his legs weakly for Eddie to chase him to the finish line. “Fuck, yeah, come in me, c’mon, Eddie. Yeah.”

Eddie came with a shout, suddenly gathering Steve closer into a smashed hug. He pulled him in as tight as he could, engulfed by fire, and lighting, and storms, and explosions, and anything else that could burst into the sky. He shook with the intensity and feebly drove his hips upward until they were both finally, gradually still.

The pair breathed hard in the aftermath, spiraling down from the clouds. Eddie held Steve up, still in his lap, face crushed into his sticky chest. His hairs tickled Eddie’s nose. Steve smelled like morning, like Gain laundry detergent, like Eucalyptus Spearmint, like home.

“That was a nice wake up call.” Eddie muttered. He pulled back enough to press a kiss to Steve’s collarbone, then they began the awkward process of untangling.

“Thought you’d like that.” Steve quipped, clambering off the bed. He grabbed a towel from the hamper and dragged it over his body. Eddie watched his skin move, admired the curves of his form. His insides felt warm like sunlight, like an oven, like Christmas lights sparkling on snow. Eddie snatched out a hand and slapped Steve’s ass, grinning.

“You’re fun, Steve. Wanna shower?”

***

Eddie knew his love with Steve was strong, but nothing could withstand the almighty force that was Steve’s relationship with Robin Buckley. Before the Uber had even finished parking, she was throwing herself out of the passenger door and throttling full-speed ahead at Steve. He met her equally, the two colliding with a hard thud and almost toppling to the ground.

Eddie couldn’t distinguish whatever fast-paced language they gushed at each other, shaking his head while Robin slammed kisses all over his face.

“Jesus, Robin!” Nancy chided, lugging their suitcases out of the van. “You could’ve broken your ankle, you know you’re not coordinated.”

“Eddie!” Dustin cheered, appearing out of thin air from the other side of the vehicle. Eddie was suddenly sidelined by him and Lucas, both knocking the wind out of him.

“Your neighborhood is very lovely.” El called, while Mike helped her climb from the farthest back row of the van. Will popped out next, then Max, all accounted for. Argyle and Jonathan were in California, unable to come, but sending “all the good new house vibes, dude.”

“Dustin, my ribs.” Eddie wheezed, sucking in air after the two boys released hold. They mussed up his hair and zipped over to Steve, ignoring Robin’s protests to dogpile him.

“Wow, Wheeler, guess you don’t love me that much.” Eddie shook his head and jabbed a thumb at the others. “Where’s my tackle hug?”

Nancy made sure the rest of the suitcases were out of the way, and waved off the Uber driver. With an over exaggerated eye roll she swooped over to hug Eddie. Her familiar smell, paper and flowers, enveloped him.

“Hey, Munson.” She said into his shoulder. “Nice digs.”

They separated and Eddie performed a flourished arm gesture, showing off the small shack that sat just behind them.

It was reminiscent of a log cabin, brown and slatted. If someone squinted wrong, it appeared to lean lopsided. The windows were old, and the roof was patchy. But it was on a decent little plot of land, full of green grass and tall, colorful plants. The closest neighbors were a five minute walk each direction, and a path out back let down to a rocky outcropping, a pebbled half-beach. Eddie loved it already, had painted a rainbow and a heart on the mailbox.

“This is so cool!” Max was letting herself inside already, lugging a yellow duffel over her shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah, come in!” Eddie invited, urging their friends along.

The group pooled through the door to huddle in the small living room. Matted beige carpet, blue walls, a cracked fireplace, it was nothing fancy. The space was squished right against the compact kitchen, with a two-seater round dining table in the corner. Eddie and Steve had already blown up an air mattress, which took up most of the floor (they’d shoved the coffee table into the hallway), and laid up blankets and pillows onto the couch and loveseat.

“Aw, guys, it’s perfect!” Robin gushed, arm-in-arm with Steve.

“Kinda small, but nice.” Mike nodded, which was the best compliment from Mike, truly.

“There’s only one bathroom, so, everybody limit your food and drink intake. Already hard enough taking turns with two people.” Eddie laughed. “That and the second bedroom are right down the tiny hall, me and Steve at the end.”

Everyone scattered like ants to check out the rest of the square footage.

“Me and Nancy call the bedroom!” Robin declared, finally letting go of Steve to rush in and stake her claim. It was still sparse in there too; a futon and a bookcase. They had forever to furnish.

“This is great, guys, seriously.” Will said earnestly, peeking into their bedroom at the end of the hall. It was the largest room in the house, with a wide window opening out to the backyard. Quiet breeze rustled through the curtains. They’d spent the most time in there so far, filled it with decor and photos.

“Man, you guys are like adults and shit.” Lucas shook his head, brushing a hand over the wall. He lightly kicked the floor with his shoe. “You’ve got a house and stuff.”

“We’re renting a house and stuff.” Steve chuckled, arms crossed over his chest. “But, yeah, feels weird. Thanks, man.”

“When does school start?” Nancy asked, returning from the spare bedroom, where she’d also dropped her bag. The two of them would be cramped on the mattress in there, but no worse than a twin XL at school.

“Late August.” Steve answered. “Still shocked I got hired. Doesn’t feel real.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Eddie leaned against the wall. “This asshole is still on break, meanwhile I’m slaving away teaching music lessons. Capitalism really is death, kids, don’t get jobs. Lucky I could even take off for your visit.” He feigned weakness, a hand to the forehead.

Dustin, poking through the panty, called over his shoulder, “Oh, shut up, you texted me and said you love it so far.”

“Blasphemy. I’d never love working.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Eddie caught Steve mouthing, “he loves it,” to Robin.

“Anyway,” Eddie flicked his boyfriend in the shoulder. “What do you guys wanna do? Food, exploring, rest?”

“Can we check out that beach you talked about?” Max asked, “The one down your road?”

“Absolutely we can!” Eddie nodded. It was sunny, low seventies, a gorgeous day to be outside.

The group took turns using the bathroom, then half-emptied the fridge that Steve had stocked with soda, Gatorade, cheap beer, and Trulys.

“Momma Steve always taking care of us.” Dustin patted his boyfriend’s cheek, earning an eye roll.

They all meandered out the back door, onto the overgrown path that Steve had been slowly trimming back, the past month. Fat trees shaded them, bugs buzzed between. In the still quiet, their friends were loud, and it squeezed Eddie’s heart. Max and El laughed over some silly conversation, and he felt like an old man, warm with nostalgia. It had only been a month, some thirty-odd days, and having them all together again was like almost slotting a puzzle together, finding the second-to-last piece jammed under a couch cushion. (Argyle and Jonathan’s piece was somewhere, maybe collecting dust bunnies? They’d get it eventually.)

Eddie caught the tail end of Mike’s sentence. “…and then she said she’d shave my head if I didn’t cut my hair soon.”

“And Mom might actually do it, too.” Nancy teased, tugging a wisp that had fallen into Mike’s eyes. He batted her hand away, and they stomped through the grass.

“You could grow it out like Eddie’s.” El smiled, looking back at him from her place a few steps ahead. In dappled sunlight, she looked ethereal. They all did. In the backyard of Eddie and Steve’s home.

“Eh,” Steve spoke up from Eddie’s right. He looped their hands together. Robin was on his other side, tied to Steve’s hip. “Not everyone can work Eddie’s look.”

“That’s fucking right.” Eddie preened.

“What’s this gonna be like in the winter?” Will asked, changing subjects and ignoring Mike’s pouting. He waved the hand Mike wasn’t holding at the woods.

“Cold as fuck.” Steve snorted. “Covered in snow, worse than home. Can’t believe he dragged me here.”

“Can’t believe you let me, doll face.” Eddie snickered. “Yeah it’ll be cold, but it’ll also be cool as fuck! We can make a little fire, get a big bearskin rug in front of it, and—”

“And I don’t need to hear the rest of your plan, Casanova.” Robin winced. She reached over and slapped Eddie lightly. “We get the gist.”

They traversed a few minutes longer, until the grass crumpled to tiny rocks and the tree line opened to a crescent-shaped beach, for lack of a better term. Blue-gray water lapped against the shore, wind whipped their hair. Seabirds swooped far above. Steve and Eddie had rolled two giant logs to sit side-by-side, facing the waves.

“Wow.” Max breathed, holding up a hand to block the sun as she looked out. Farther down, graded cliffs scratched the coast. In the distance, sailboats drifted along, white triangles on the horizon.

“Looks nothing like home.” Lucas laughed, tossing an arm over Max’s shoulders. For once, she didn’t protest.

“This is great, you guys.” Nancy breathed. It felt clean here, open, like Eddie’s lungs had been straining for decades and now he could fully inflate them. (And that had nothing to do with his smoking habit.)

“Yeah, we sit out here most evenings.” Steve told them. His thumb was rubbing circles onto Eddie’s. Comfortable. Close.

Eddie thought of their picnics so far, their sunsets splitting a bottle of wine, burning down a joint, kissing on a blanket until they could see the stars. Feeling like they were the only two people in the entire world.

“Can we come back and swim?” El asked. She was already taking off her socks and shoes, tip-toeing forward over bumpy rocks to test the water.

“You can if you want, but it’s fucking cold.” Eddie warned. “Even in the summer.”

Dustin plopped down on one of the logs, beer in hand. He took of his hat and shook out his own hair in the sunshine.

“I myself am perfectly content to just sit here for once. It feels great.”

Max, El, and Lucas braved the water, rolling up their jeans to wade around. El kept picking up shimmery stones and pocketing them. The others sat with Dustin, legs stretched out, inhaling the crisp breeze.

“Have Wayne or Chrissy come to visit?” Nancy shouldered Eddie, on his left. She didn’t mention Steve’s parents, because she knew better.

“Nope,” Eddie shook his head. “You guys are our first visitors. Chrissy said she might be able to come in August, and Wayne and Michelle want to visit for a few days over Labor Day weekend.”

“What about Thanksgiving and Christmas?” Mike surprised Eddie by asking. “Will you guys be back in Hawkins for those?” Huh. Maybe the twerp missed them more than he let on.

“Haven’t really planned it out yet, but, definitely for one of those.” Eddie smiled softly. “Don’t worry, we won’t forget you guys.”

“Couldn’t if we tried.” Steve scoffed. Playfully, he nudged Robin. “You’re all clingy and stuff.”

“Oh, as if you’re not, dingus!”

More laughter, more warmth, more of Eddie walking on the clouds.

***

A late night on the beach meant a later morning. They sat out there until three AM, smoking, eating shitty sandwiches, playing Never Have I Ever and other ridiculous drinking games. Eddie woke up later than Steve, alone in bed when he rose. He yanked on one of Steve’s sweaters and wandered to the living room.

Everyone else was already up, except for Robin and Nancy. Steve was like a cute little housewife, plating bacon, eggs, toast, and pancakes in big stacks. His sleeves were rolled up, his plaid pajama pants were on. Pleasant fuzzies stirred in Eddie’s belly, he loved him so fucking much.

He slipped his arms around Steve and gave him a sleepy kiss.

“Good morning, honey bun.” Eddie mumbled to his cheek.

“That’s a new one.” Steve pressed their temples together, but kept a watchful eye on the pancake he was making.

“Felt fitting.”

Eddie gave him a squeeze and stole two slices of toast, already buttered and everything.

“How’d everyone sleep?” He asked, mouth full.

“Fine, honestly.” Will shrugged.

El grinned behind a cup of yogurt. “It was fun. We have not had a sleepover in a while. Max did my hair for me.”

“Yeah, these two didn’t shut up ’til like four-thirty.” Mike rolled his eyes.

“We’re on vacation, Michael.” Max looked at him smugly. “But I can see you definitely missed out on some beauty sleep.”

“Yikes.” Lucas hissed. “She got you, man.”

Dustin emerged from the bathroom, having just taken a shower. Eddie, sensing the chance for an important conversation, set the wheels in motion.

“Hey, babe, go grab a shower while you can, I’ll finish this.” He nudged Steve and took the spatula right out of his hand.

Steve paused, wrinkled his adorable eyebrows.

“You want to finish breakfast? You, who, kinda sucks at cooking?”

“Just because I suck doesn’t mean I am incapable. Go get a shower.” When Steve tried to take it back, he brandished the spatula like a light saber, sound effects and all.

“You’re being a dork.” Steve chuckled, ducking and dodging. “Why are you being so pushy?”

“You still smell like pot, go, before Nancy takes three fucking hours to do her hair and makeup.”

“Fine, fine.” Steve conceded and tucked into the bathroom. Once the door was closed, music was blaring from their Bluetooth speaker, and the water was running, Eddie jumped in.

“Little Byers, I trust your competence.” He handed Will the spatula. “Everyone shut up, this has to be quick—I’m planning a surprise for Steve today.”

Dustin choked on his orange juice. “Holy fuck, are you proposing?”

“What?” Eddie’s eyes boggled. He was in love with the guy, but, Jesus, they’d just graduated college. “What am I, a child bride?”

“You’re twenty-two?”

“No, no,” He waved his hands. “I’m not proposing.—Not right now.”

“What is this talk of proposing?” Robin appeared out of thin air, whisper-shouting. She was wrinkled and frumpy with bedhead. “Um?”

Nancy came speeding behind her, rushing into the kitchen with wild eyes. “Eddie, are you seriously?”

Eddie clapped a ringed hand over her mouth, effectively hushing her up.

“If you guys don’t lower your goddamn voices Steve’s going to think that I am. No, everybody, I’m not. Not super soon anyway.”

“Okay, okay,” Max set down a strip of bacon, crossed her arms. “Then what is the surprise?”

“I was getting to that before you all went wild.”

Behind him, Will flipped the last two pancakes, then turned off the burner.

“Whatever it is, I wanna help.” He told him.

“Fantastic. I will need several people to help. A few tasks at hand, first and foremost.” Eddie removed his hand from Nancy’s lips and held up his pointer finger. “Distracting Steve and keeping him busy while I’m gone.”

“Gone where?” Robin raised an eyebrow.

Eddie couldn’t help it, he grinned wide. He’d spent the last two weeks scouring every Facebook page he could find. Then everything fell together, perfect, universal harmony, and—boom, it would be golden.

“I’m getting him a kitten.”

All the girls echoed the same sound of high-pitched glee. El had to set down her yogurt, she was so excited.

“No way!” Dustin cheered. “I get to be Uncle Dustin so soon?”

“So soon, dude.”

“Oh, man, Steve’s gonna love that.” Robin gushed, clasping her hands together under her chin. “He’s never had a pet, even as a kid.”

“I know.” Eddie crossed his arms, satisfied at the reaction, and leaned against the kitchen counter. “So, Robs, maybe you guys can stay here, say you wanna sun at the beach for a bit or something. We can say we’re going to get food.”

“We just had food?” Mike supplied.

“Good point. Uh, booze?”

Lucas frowned. “There’s still booze in the fridge. Steve really crammed it full.”

“Damn him and his over preparedness.”

“Somebody could say they need tampons?” Mike shrugged.

Max wrinkled her nose. “Why would Eddie go buy one of us tampons?”

“Shut up, shut up.” Dustin cut in. “I have an idea. It can be DnD related. Steve never knows anything about DnD stuff. We can tell him we have to go get a new book that just hit the shelves today.—He won’t even question it. We’re having an impromptu one shot campaign, short and sweet, this week.”

“Great, yes, we’re going with that!” Eddie snapped his fingers. “Nice work, Henderson. You come with me. Less suspicious if it’s just two of us. Everybody else—you’re schmoozing. You’re buffering. You’re acting so normal that your own parents would be confused, like, who the fuck is this totally normal, not weird kid in my house?”

Robin gave a two-fingered salute. “Noted. Can maybe do.”

“Sure, we can be chill.” Lucas nodded.

Eddie laughed through his nose. “All past reactions aside, sure, you guys can try to be chill. Just, please don’t say ‘kitten’ and we’re good.”

“Where did you find it?” Nancy asked, grabbing a mug and pouring herself some coffee. “Like, are you rescuing?”

“Yeah, this organization I found on Facebook, they just had a litter. I haven’t actually picked the one yet, but the lady said she has six.”

“Aw.” Nancy smiled, cheeks pink. “There’s some weird irony there, Eds. Steve once told me he wanted six kids. You should just adopt them all. His whole brood.”

“Can you imagine six mini Steves?” Robin blinked. “God, what would we do?”

The others laughed, making lighthearted jokes about Steve’s mannerisms, general neuroticism, his particulars. It was meant to be something funny, but, it made Eddie feel gooey inside. Six baby Steves, his, theirs, it was…fucking cute.

“All right, whatever.” He washed away the thought for later, for their future. “Just a cat first, please.”

Will beamed. “He’s gonna be so happy. Have you come up with a name?”

Eddie had tried. He’d looked at every single Pinterest list that some preteen girl had tirelessly compiled. But nothing had stuck yet.

He shrugged. “Maybe that can be Steve’s job.”

***

The thing was, Nancy’s words had glued into Eddie’s mind. There had been six adorable kittens, snuggled into a wiggly, fuzzy pile. Multi-colored, sweet, tiny, and mewling. Eddie had almost cried at the mere sight of them, prompting the rescue owner to laugh at him, but not unkindly. Dustin had been frozen, “killed by cuteness,” he’d said.

It took half an hour. Picking up the babies, cuddling them, stroking their feather-soft fur. Eddie really did want to cradle all six into the blanket he’d bought and carry them all home.

Instead of six, he settled on two.

Sure, he’d only planned to get one kitten, but how could he? It needed a sibling, he didn’t want it to be alone when they were at work all day.

Two sisters, curled up in Dustin’s lap, purred quietly the whole ride home.

One of them was classic and orange, reminiscent of Garfield. The other was a triad, orange as well, but with black and white patches too.

“I’m just obsessed with them.” Dustin kept saying. “They’re so, so cute. Man, Mews would love them.”

“Mews would.”

Eddie kept catching glances of them while driving, their little bellies rising and falling as they napped. They were almost home now, and God he couldn’t wait to show Steve. The backseat was full of supplies for them. They’d have to buy another bed, and another set of food bowls, and another collar, but Eddie didn’t care.

Eddie’s heart hammered when they pulled into the short driveway. He texted Nancy the eagle has landed, knowing she’d corral them all back to the house. She replied with the heart-eyes cat emoji, almost immediately.

Eddie clambered out of the driver’s seat while Dustin waited in the passenger side, ready to hand them off.

“All right, man, here are my keys. Gimme my children, you unlock the door.”

Dustin carefully lifted the blanket, the two kittens drooping in the middle. He situated them in Eddie’s arms like a fucking newborn.

“Your beautiful heirs, my liege.”

They were beautiful, such itty bitty creatures. They both had bright blue eyes, and Eddie wondered if that would change. The orange one squeaked a yawn.

Dustin was giggling with excitement when he scurried to the stoop.

“Steve’s gonna die, dude, oh my God.”

They hurried (carefully) into the house. It was still empty, so Dustin shoved aside the blankets and pillows on the couch and made Eddie a spot to sit down. He lowered himself slowly, and sank back into the cushions. Both kittens began to stir, wobbling around his lap. The little sounds they made were the most precious in the world.

A long ten minutes passed, the inevitable clean up and walk back to the house. Eddie was shaking inside, trying to ease his nerves by petting them. Dustin took three billion photos, sent most of them to his mom.

“We’re back! You guys home?” Robin called after the sound of the back door unsticking from the frame.

“In the living room!” Eddie replied.

Max and El bounded in, to which Eddie heard Steve exclaim, “Geez, where’s the fire?” like he was sixty years old.

“We’re really excited about the—DnD book.” Lucas said, not at all suspiciously.

“Uh huh.”

With the surprise moments from breaking, Nancy caved too. “I’m also really excited for the DnD book.”

Steve’s confusion was audible then, a heavy, silent moment where Eddie pictured him tilting his head. Everyone else quickly stumbled into the living room, hiding their gasps. They crowded the couch to see the kittens. Steve and Robin stayed behind, lingering in the back. Their “whispering” was not at all quiet.

“—No, tell me what’s going on.” Eddie heard Steve hiss. “I don’t wanna be blindsided by—is he—”

“No.”

“Do I look okay?—Wait, ‘no,’ then why’s—”

“Will you just go?”

“Can you tell me what’s gonna happen in the—Robs!”

There was a discernible scuffle, and then Robin and Steve spilled into the living room. Steve spun, like a deer in headlights.

Eddie honed in on his face, those pretty brown eyes, and offered back a smile.

“I’m with child, Steve. And their yours.”

Steve was taken aback, speechless, pink lips dropped open in surprise. He blinked, over and over, peering at the bundle in Eddie’s lap.

“Mine?...Ours?”

“Yeah.” Eddie was hit with a weird desire to cry. He swallowed. “There was no DnD book.—And it was only supposed to be one kitten, but, I didn’t want her to be lonely.”

“Are you for real?” Steve’s eyebrow twitched. He sniffed. He was fixated on the cats, snoozing again in cinnamon roll shapes.

“Yeah, man, come meet your kittens!” Dustin bounced excitedly. “Get over here!”

Robin shoved him, and he did, quickly settling next to Eddie on the couch. Over his shoulder, El and Max made the classic pspspspspsp sounds.

While Steve watched the kittens, Eddie watched Steve, watched his eyes light up, watched him bite his lip as he oh-so tenderly pet the short fur on their heads. His finger trailed down each of them, so gentle, so kind. Steve sniffed again, maybe holding back tears. His cheeks were reddening, his mouth turned into the sweetest smile. Eddie leaned over, made sure he wasn’t jostling the kittens, and kissed Steve’s forehead.

“Surprise.”

Steve finally laughed, shook his head. “I can’t believe you. Two kittens? Jesus.”

“They’re so fucking cute!” Robin squealed, kneeling down in front of Eddie to get a closer look.

“Did all of you know?” Steve searched their faces.

“Obviously.” Nancy answered.

Steve leaned in, his head on Eddie’s shoulder. They breathed in tune, watching their kittens do the same.

“Geez. I really thought you were about to…”

He didn’t finish his sentence, but Eddie felt the smile in the fabric of his shirt.

“Never mind. Some other time, maybe I’ll surprise you.”

Ha, if he got the fucking chance. Maybe they’d double propose, someday.

“Well!” Max exclaimed, “What are their names? Did you pick?”

“Uh,” Eddie hummed. “No. Laura Dern?”

“Eddie, no,” Nancy laughed. “Not a cat name.”

“Fuck you, Nancy, I can name our cat Laura Dern if I want.”

Steve traced circles onto the multicolored kitten. “This one’s Basil.”

“Awwww,” El cooed. “For Basil Bistro?”

“Of course.”

“So what’s the other one?” Mike laughed, “Fat New York Slice?”

“No, no, no, that’s awful.” Robin disagreed, giggling. “Though I do think making both of them an homage to your college years is cute. It’s where you fell in love, after all.”

“What about the Grin and Tonic? Something there?” Lucas suggested. “Wasn’t it like, your favorite?”

“God, I almost kissed Steve there so many times.”

Eddie loved the deeper blush that crept up Steve’s neck after his words.

“Oh, so, Vodka Sour?” Steve joked. “Great cat name.”

“You guys drank rum and coke too.” Nancy reminded them. “We always did lemon drop shots.—Lemon Drop? Lemon?”

All eyes went to the orange kitten, which could, maybe look yellow if Eddie squinted.

“Basil and Lemon?” Eddie chuckled. “It’s…kinda cute, actually.”

El leaned all the way over the back of the couch, finally reaching out to pet the babies.

“I think they are very cute names.”

“Yeah, and they’re both part of your story.” Will piped up. He’d crouched next to Robin to take closer pictures for Chrissy, Argyle and Jonathan.

Eddie picked up the blanket, kittens inside. “Well, you hear that, babies? Consider yourselves named. Here’s your momma.”

Steve sat back, breath catching when the bundle was laid in his lap. Eddie found it funny that, for once, he didn’t fight back on the “mom” thing.

And he could picture it then, these two cats growing and following Steve like shadows, little bells jingling as they skittered around the house. Sleeping at the foot of their bed, lounging in the sunshine, pouncing on wildflowers. Maybe one day, at their wedding, they’d be those people with cat cake toppers. Or themed drinks? Lemon and Basil, it was already perfect.

“I love them.” Steve whispered. “And you. Thank you, Eddie. This is like, the best gift I’ve ever had.”

“I know.” Eddie grinned. “I love you, too. And there’s a third one in the car.”

Steve’s eyes went wide as saucers. “What?!”

“Joking, joking.”

The group laughed, and Steve breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay, good. We’ve never had a pet at all, so two is already a lot, three would be—“

“Or am I?”

“Babe!”

“Relax. Nah, I promise, I’m joking.—It’s not three, it’s all six.”

“Eddie!”

Eddie threw an arm over his boyfriend’s shoulders, bundled up their little family in his arms.

“Kidding, I’m kidding…maybe?”

“I can’t even tell now?” Steve laughed, shifting his eyes from his lap to Eddie. He searched them, glowing in a way that said, “I don’t even care if you really did adopt six kittens, I love you so much.”

Eddie kissed him, chaste but equally full of love.

“I really am kidding, don’t worry. We’ve got all we need right here.”

He glanced around, thought of their friends in this room, their friends beyond, their family, real and chosen. Eddie pet each kitten, held Steve even closer, well and truly complete.

“Yeah.” Steve agreed, soft, content, happy. “We really do.”