Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Eddie liked Ana Flores. He didn't think that he was at the love stage yet, but that was expected. That was normal. But he could get there. Ana Flores was the perfect partner. The kind of person Christopher needed after losing his mother. So Eddie was going to try and make it work. He turned when he heard a key being turned through a latch, a smile came to his face out of habit. 

Buck.

Not even ten seconds after the door opened, Christopher's crutches were clacking on the floor with an incredible speed that could only be summoned when he heard his best friend arriving. Buck hadn't even had a second to balance what was in his arms when Christopher rammed into him, squeezing tightly "Buck!" he exclaimed with a giggle.

"Hey, Superman!" Buck grinned. "I got you some new stuff!" he said, picking Chris up with one arm before carrying him to the couch, and handing him the collection of books he had gotten him. "Here are the books on the pyramids that we saw online! The Barnes and Noble here didn't have them, so I drove out to Anaheim." he grinned.

"You drove out to Anaheim in peak LA traffic to get Chris's books?" Eddie asks.

"Yeah. He's been talking about them forever and Amazon didn't have the paperbacks in stock, and I know that's what's easier for Chris to hold, so I went and picked him up. Anything for my guy." he said, ruffling Chris's hair as he got up from the couch and walked over to where Eddie was leaning on the kitchen counter.

"Thanks. I know he's happy," he said, his eyes flicking to where Christopher flipped through the pages of his book. "Seriously Buck, thank you," he said softly.

"Hey, don't worry about it. It's just a book." Buck chuckled awkwardly, a blush creeping up his cheeks.

Eddie was about to reply but then the doorbell rang. Both the men's attention went to it, Eddie walking over to answer. Ana Flores was on the other side.

"Hey." Eddie grinned, leaning in and kissing her on the lips.

Ana and Buck had exchanged short pleasantries before he turned to Eddie. "Hey Edmundo, can I talk to you privately?" she asked.

Eddie nodded. "Buck, do you wanna say a quick goodbye to Chris and I'll see you tomorrow for shift?" he asked. Now that Ana was here, Eddie knew that Buck shouldn't be. It would be too much, and Eddie wanted Chris to get to know Ana more.

Buck hid his look of hurt well. "Yeah. Sure." Buck grinned, but it wasn't his real one. "I'll leave you guys to it. Have a nice night." Buck says, before heading to the couch to say goodbye to Christopher.

When Ms. Flores came through the door, Chris had only looked up for a second before he went back to the book Buck had gotten him. He didn't like his dad dating Ms. Flores. She was fine when she was his teacher, but he didn't like her being around all the time. Especially when he saw how sad it made his Buck. His Dad might not have seen it, but Chris does. Chris finally sits up when he sees Buck rounding the couch.

"Hey, Superman. I'm going to go back to my apartment, alright?" Buck asks, "I'll talk to you later when your dad lets me."

"Buck... do you have to go? Can't you just stay over like you always do?" he begged softly, using the puppy dog look he used when he wanted to get Buck to take him to the zoo or buy a new book.

"Ah I'm sorry buddy, I can't. I didn't know your Dad invited Ana over, or I would have just brought your books by tomorrow. I need to go, alright?" he said with a smile. But Christopher knew that it wasn't Buck's real smile. It wasn't the same smile that he saw Buck have when he ran towards him on his crutches. It wasn't the same smile that Buck wore when he and his Dad hung out and they watched movies. It was Buck's pretend smile.

Chris hated Buck's pretend smile. He also hated that his dad was so busy with Ms. Flores that he couldn't even notice that Buck was wearing his pretend smile. Usually, his Dad was the first to notice. But he was too busy. So Christopher wrapped his small little arms around Buck, reaching them as far as they would go, and squeezing tight. "Okay. I love you, Buck," he said softly. He felt Buck squeeze tighter. "Love you too, Superman," he said, before getting up, and saying goodbye to everyone in the kitchen one last time.

Christopher watched, dejected. As he watched Ms. Flores pull Dad into the kitchen, he knew that Buck wouldn't be coming around as often.

Eddie didn't give himself the chance to let himself acknowledge how he felt seeing Buck's face fall after he told him to leave. He didn't let himself acknowledge how Chris walked away, shutting his door as soon as Buck left. He didn't let himself wonder if he made a mistake. He just followed Ana. 

Ana was safe. Ana was the clear answer. Ana was what his parents wanted. They had been over the moon happy when he had told them about dating her. Chris seemed to like her, but then again, he just went and locked himself in his room without another word. He would have to check on him after this, but first, he's going to talk to Ana.

"What's up?" Eddie asked, leaning against the counter and smiling at her.

"I was just thinking. Evan's over a lot lately, isn't he?" Ana asks, "Is that really the best thing for Christopher?"

Eddie tries not to flinch at the fact that Ana called Buck Evan. He was rarely ever called Evan. He always preferred Buck. Evan was the little boy who never felt he was enough for his parents. Evan was the boy who was lost, jumping from career to career, from place to place trying to find his home. His family. Evan was the 20-year-old who felt so lost that he would never have a place in this world. But Eddie knew Buck. Buck was a selfless soul. Buck was his best friend. Buck was the one who wore his heart on his sleeve and gave his love and care to anyone who needed it. From the patients he treated on every single call who just needed reassurance, to those he considered family, he gave his love freely. Which is a minor miracle given how he grew up as Evan. But he pushed all these thoughts away, focusing on Ana. 

"Chris loves Buck. He's his best friend." Eddie hedges.

"Yes, but I feel like he's always around and he's making it so that Christopher relies on only him. That's not healthy, Edmundo. Chris doesn't seem to have any friends his age."

What Eddie wants to say is 'You're not even a teacher at Chris's school now that you took that vice principal job. How would you know? Chris has tons of friends at school. But Buck is special. Buck's special to both of us.'

But he wants to make this relationship work. So he doesn't. Instead, he acquiesces. 

"What are you saying, Ana?" he asks patiently. He wants to add an edge to his tone, but he doesn't.

"I'm saying, maybe you should distance yourself and Christopher. You are all too dependent on each other. I feel that he's over all the time and we never have time to be alone just the three of us. If I'm going to be a part of Christopher's life, I want to get to know him." Ana says.

Eddie thinks about pushing back. But then he thinks about that perfect picture of the perfect family that his parents had painted for him growing up. And that doesn't include him and Buck being together. It includes Ana. 

So he nods. "Okay," he says.

But something in the back of his mind makes him wonder if this is all a mistake. What the consequences would be further down the line.

But then he looks at Ana's pleased expression.

And pushes those thoughts down, down, down.

 The next day at the fire station, Buck tries to talk to Eddie. He does. Even if it hurts after yesterday’s dismissal. He would move past it, just to keep not just Eddie in his life, But Christopher too. He would move past the sinking, twisting, roiling feeling in his gut that hit every time he saw Eddie with Ana, creating their little family.

Because as much as he was in love with Eddie Diaz (Not Edmundo, Ana. Eddie.), the thing he feared the most in this life was missing Christopher Diaz grow up. He had only known Chris for a handful of years now. But the love he felt for that kid was a love akin to that a father would feel. He loved that kid as if he was his own. But he could never be his own. Especially if Ana was in the picture. 

But that doesn’t mean that he still couldn’t be in his life. Still couldn’t be his and Eddie’s best friend. Even if the pain of never being more would be something that he would have to carry with him in the deepest part of his soul for the rest of his life. 

But no matter what, Buck thought that Eddie and Chris would always be his best friends. That they wouldn’t put him on the back burner. That Eddie wouldn’t put him on the back burner. Because Christopher, after all, is only a kid. As much as Eddie and Buck have lamented in the past about how he was growing up far too much for their liking, he couldn’t do much against his father. But Buck knew that he would never do that. That he saw their bond for what it was. That he would never put distance between them.

That was until Eddie walked up to him while he was in the locker room, changing into a spare uniform after a particularly messy call.

“Hey, Buck. About our trip to the zoo after work…” Eddie says

“Yeah. Chris is still excited, right? I know they have that new exhibit that he’s been dying to see. Something about emperor penguins. It was all that he was talking about the other day when I was watching him.” Buck grins before he turns, and sees the look on Eddie’s face.

“Yeah. We actually can’t do it today. Uh, Ana wants to take Chris and me out to dinner with her friends at some fancy restaurant.” Eddie says.

Buck quirks an eyebrow “I can watch Chris and take him to the zoo. You know how he hates those fancy restaurants. They barely have a kid’s menu.” Buck says. “Really, I don’t mind.”

“That’s alright,” Eddie says, and Buck can barely connect the man standing in front of him with the man he knew as his best friend. “Ana wants to introduce Chris to her friends. Since we’re getting pretty serious. She needs us to meet them. Present a united front, you know? She wants us to appear like a family.” he said.

“And how do you feel about that?” Buck asks “Isn’t it a little soon?” he hedges.

“I mean we have been dating for a few months now. A lot of people get serious by then.” Eddie says.

“Oh, are you at that stage?” Buck asks. 

Please don’t say yes. Please don’t say yes. Buck thinks. 

“Yeah. Things are getting pretty serious. I think we have a future. You know?” Eddie asks.

And damn it if that didn’t feel like a dagger straight to Buck’s heart. He barely kept his face from falling. From showing the man in front of him how much the words hurt him. 

“Yeah. Uh, don’t worry about the zoo plans. We can… figure something else out. In the future.” Buck said, the sentences coming out choppier and choppier. Disconnected. “I’m gonna go up to the loft, grab a bite to eat,” Buck said, forcing another smile and pushing past Eddie.

And for the first time in the years since Eddie and Buck became best friends, Eddie didn’t follow Buck.

As Buck was exiting the locker room, he let some tears fall, before he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. He knew what this was. What he and Eddie were at the precipice of. He had seen this play out a thousand times before. He was slowly being phased out of someone’s life again. But this one hurt so much more because it was Eddie. And it was Chris. He didn’t know if he could handle this.

He wasn’t paying attention to where he was going and ran straight into someone who was waiting outside the locker room. He looked up quickly.

“I’m so sorry. I uh– wasn’t watching where I was going.” Buck said, the words coming out choked.

“It’s alright, Kid,” Bobby said. And it was clear in that moment, he had heard the whole interaction, and he saw how destroyed Buck was. He always knew that Bobby knew how he felt. That there was nothing that he could keep from the man who had unofficially adopted him, becoming the father that Buck had wished for countless times while he was growing up. At the realization, his face crumpled again. At that, Bobby wrapped a protective arm around Buck. 

“Come on, let’s head up to my office,” Bobby said softly.

Eddie knew he had hurt Buck. He knew it. Everything in him wanted to go after him. Apologize. Explain. But he also knew that Ana had given him an ultimatum clear as day. And at the end of the day, Christopher needed a family. He needed a family like he had growing up. He needed a mother figure now that Shannon was gone, and Ana was more than willing to take up that mantle. Hell, she may have been the only one who was willing to, given how all the women he had dated in the past, as few as there had been since Shannon, had reacted when he told them he had a son with CP. Ana seemed fine with it. And the fear of not finding someone else who did was enough to make Eddie choose Ana. Because he needed someone to accept and love Christopher for who he was.

You already have someone who does, you idiot. He’s right in front of you.

But Eddie pushes those thoughts down, down, down. For Christopher.

Or at least that’s what he tells himself that it was for Christopher. That it wasn’t because of his parents’ expectations, the shadow over his head that he couldn’t shake, as hard as he tried.

Bobby sat across from the young man he considered his son. “What’s the matter, Buck?” he asked softly.

Buck didn’t answer for a moment, lost in the turmoil of his mind. The thoughts were pulling him under, under, under until he felt like he was drowning in the tsunami all over again. Just when he thought he had his head above water, another wave smacked him, the force pulling him under into the pit of his dark thoughts.

“Will anyone ever choose me?” he asked, so quietly Bobby almost didn’t hear him. “Will I ever be the person someone stays for, not the person everyone leaves once they find someone better?” he asked, his voice cracking.

“Buck…” Bobby said, his heart breaking. “We choose you. This family, at the 118, it’s yours. We always have your back.” he tried to reassure. Even though he knew what the issue was.

“I know, Bobby. But that’s not what I meant.” he chuckles humorlessly, and it sounds so unlike himself that it’s jarring. He looked up to see Bobby to see if he’d speak, but he was silent, waiting for him to continue.

“It started when I was born… people leaving. My parents left as soon as I wasn’t able to save Daniel, the son they wanted. Then I had Maddie for a while. And God, I’ll never be able to thank her for how she raised me and loved me. Loved me the way my parents should have. But then she left too. And I know… I know what she was going through. And I don’t fault her for leaving, she had to. I thank God that she was able to escape Doug and come back. And that we found each other again, and that she found Chim and is now so unbelievably happy. But there was still that time when she was gone and I hurt. Then Abby left, then it was Ali and Taylor.” he shook his head.

“And I thought… I thought that was pain,” he said rawly. “I thought that that hurt I feel would be it. That having Abby ghost me was the worst thing I’d ever felt. And I eventually got over that. But that’s nothing compared to the pain I’m feeling losing Eddie. The pain I’m feeling because Eddie is doing what everyone else in my life has done. He’s leaving me. He’s picking someone else. Everything hurts Bobby. It’s like… It’s like I’m trapped in a room with a five-alarm fire. It burns.” Tears began falling readily now. “And there’s nothing I can do. I c-can’t make him stay. He’s choosing Ana. He’s making a family with her, himself, and Chris.” he said, rubbing his eyes to swipe away the tears. To make them stop. “And he’s made it clear that I’m not a part of it.” he laughed humorlessly. “I never told him I loved him. That I loved him so deeply that he and Chris are my whole heart. And, I was fine, not telling him, because at least he would still be my best friend. At least he and Chris will be there.” he pauses. “But now I don’t even have that. Because Eddie left, for someone better, just like everyone else does,” he said, burying his head in his hands.

Bobby got up, rounding the desk and pulling Buck into his arms, pulling him into his chest. “I’m here kid. I’m here, and I love you,” he says, tightening his grip and trying to ground Buck at the moment. “I know I’m not Eddie. I know I’m not your best friend, but I love you, kid,” he says. “You are so worthy of love. And I know you’ll find that one day. You are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for, Buck.” he said, “Anything you need. I got your back.” he said, rubbing his back. “You deserve so much more than this.”

Even though the distance between Buck and Eddie was starting to resemble that of a chasm, Buck kept trying, for two weeks, he kept trying. He loved Eddie, the whole station practically knew he loved Eddie. Well, except for Eddie of course. But more than that, he wanted to keep his promise to Chris. That he would never really leave him. But they always had plans, Ana, Eddie, and Chris. Some part of him hoped that it was Ana pulling the strings on all of this. That Eddie didn’t see his role in his son’s life as something that could be reduced to FaceTime calls. Often, calls that Christopher himself instigated. But Buck would take those FaceTime calls, because he would take any shred of Christopher, even if it was through a screen.

Things at the 118 were worse. He had tried to talk to Eddie for a while, always getting one-worded answers that made him feel like he was the only one who wanted to hold up the conversation. He tried not to let it affect the job, but there were these moments when Buck faltered. And for several tiny little moments, he had seen Eddie crack. Worry, just like the days when Eddie and he were inseparable, showing through. Showing through when Buck missed a foot rappelling down a cliffside on a rescue, slamming into the rock and dislocating his shoulder, and out of the corner of his eye, he could see Eddie gnawing on his lip when Buck was being checked by Chim and Hen afterward.

He saw it again at a house fire when Buck had made it out with a civilian after being trapped inside for nearly 15 minutes, immediately having to be treated for severe smoke inhalation because he had given his mask to the patient to help them breathe. Chim had just slipped an oxygen mask over Buck’s mouth before the house crumbled behind them. Not even a minute longer spent in the house, and Buck would have been dead.

Yet again, Buck looked past Chim’s shoulder to see Eddie, eyes focused fully on him, for only the second time in weeks.

And in a thought process that reminded him of his childhood and his parents, Buck thought: Maybe this is the way I get Eddie to see me. Keep getting hurt, and keep having close calls.

Luckily, after close call number five, involving a multi-car pileup, Bobby saw what Buck was doing and instantly put a stop to it, pulling him into his office.

“I’m putting you on B shift until further notice,” Bobby said, in that firm Captain’s voice that made the decision final, no questions asked. Underneath all that though, was a caring and worried tone. The worried tone of a father.

Buck was about to protest. But really, it was for the best. If he continued like this, it would only be a matter of time before he found himself dead. So he nodded.

“Thanks, Bobby, I think that’s exactly what I need right now.” he acknowledged.

And that in itself, was growth. The fact he didn’t continue reckless behaviors to get the attention he craved.

It didn’t mean that he wasn’t still hurt. That the fact that his best friend was currently icing him out didn’t feel like a halligan to the chest. 

But, it was progress all the same.

So instead of walking into Station 118 to find his usual crew, he instead found the B shift, specifically, Ravi, waiting for him in the lounge.

“Hey man, good to see you!” Ravi said, with a grin. “I’m looking forward to working with you once again,” he says, patting Buck on the shoulder.

Buck gave him a small smile back. “Same here.” 

Buck and Ravi fall into an easy conversation after that, only being interrupted by the sound of the alarm blaring above them, sharing a conspiratorial grin as they ran to the rig, throwing their turnout gear on.

The call ends up being a pretty standard building fire, and the Captain of the B shift partners Ravi and Buck together, sending them into the flames to rescue the civilians inside. The two work together seamlessly, rescuing the civilians inside that felt like some type of record, handing them off to the on-shift paramedics before jumping in to help stop the fire. It wasn’t long before the two were back at the firehouse, hanging out together in the lounge.

“So can I ask you a question?” Ravi asked

Buck was pretty sure he knew what the question would be, but he answered anyway. 

“Shoot,” he replied.

“Does the reason you’re here have anything to do with the off-vibe between you and Eddie?” he asked. “I noticed when I was coming in yesterday in between shift change.”

All Buck could manage to do for a moment was nod. “Yeah. Everything to do with it, actually,” he said. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Ravi asked. It wasn’t prying, it was an open invitation.

Buck pauses a moment before nodding again. “My whole life, people had left me, starting with my parents, then my sister Maddie, for a while, and then several of my girlfriends,” he said. He wasn’t going to go as in-depth as he had with Bobby. “It gave me a bit of a complex,” he chuckled ruefully. “The last person I expected to do it was Eddie. But he’s dating this girl now, Ana. And I guess he thinks they have a future because he’s been slowly phasing me out of his and Christopher’s life.” he shook his head. “And it hurts more than all the others because I’m madly in love with him. And I love his kid like he’s my own. But I never told him that, because I didn’t want to risk losing him as my best friend, and now I’ll never get the chance.” he said, “The only time Eddie would look at me was when I got injured on calls. So I kept getting injured. It was a thing I used to do with my parents. To get them to see me. And I started doing it again so Eddie would see me.” he shook his head with a humorless chuckle. “Luckily, Bobby caught on, and he thought it would be a good idea for me to be separated from Eddie for a while. So here I am.” he finished. He looked up to see Ravi staring at him intently.

“Hey man, I get it,” he said. “It sucks, you know. Having that one person in the world who holds your heart in their hands. It sucks even more when you see that person moving on with someone else, and taking all your self-worth with them.” he says.

“Speaking from experience?” Buck asks.

“Yeah. Strangely enough, it was my best friend.” Ravi chuckles, “His name was Sam. And for years, I loved, and I loved. But I never got the chance to tell him, because he married this girl named Riley a year after we graduated.” he shakes his head. “I stood by him as his best man at his wedding, gave a toast, wishing them the best in life together.” he paused, before continuing. “The friendship faded, after that. He and Riley started having kids, and then they moved to Atlanta. I haven’t talked to him in three years.” 

“How did you get past it?” Buck asked “Because with Eddie… I feel like I can’t.” Buck said. “He and Chris were so deeply woven into my life. They are so deeply woven into my life.”

“Honestly?” Ravi asked, “It took time. And patience. But eventually, I just realized that my self-worth, my happiness, was so much more than any one person. That I deserved more than being a stop on the way to someone else’s happy ending. So I finally started putting myself first. I enrolled in the Academy, graduated, and became a firefighter.” he gestured around the firehouse. “And day by day, I picked up the pieces and started working on me. Prioritizing me. Some days are harder than others, Buck, I won’t lie to you. But you have to start somewhere. You are so much more than one person. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but you are.” he said.

Buck swallowed past a lump in his throat. “Thanks, man,” he says, patting Ravi on the shoulder.

“Anytime. It’ll be okay, Buck. The feeling of unrequited love will hurt. But day by day, you learn to live with it. And then finally, one day you’ll realize thinking about that one person won’t hurt anymore. You just gotta make it to that day.”

“That means a lot, Ravi. Thank you. I think this is exactly where I need to be right now.” he said, laughing when the alarm rang above them once again, the two springing to action.

“Let’s go show Los Angeles what Ravuck can do,” Ravi says, the two running down the stairs.

Buck snorts. “Ravuck? Really?” 

“Like you have anything better.” Ravi retorts as they sit together in the rig, Buck rolling his eyes in response as the Captain of the B shift briefed them on the emergency they were heading to.

A traitorous part of his brain reminded him that this was the same spot he used to sit next to Eddie in, their sides pressed together from shoulders to toes. A traitorous part of his brain reminded him of how much he missed his best friend. 

But then he remembered what Bobby had said in his office the other day and his deep talk with Ravi in the lounge earlier. Then he brought his eyes to look up at his new crew, reaching up to the dial on the side of his headphones to turn the volume up and fell into an easy conversation with everyone on the way to the scene.

But day by day you learn to live with it. And then, finally, one day, you’ll realize thinking about that one person won’t hurt anymore. You just gotta make it to that day.

Buck leaned back against the seat, gazing out the window as the truck sped towards the scene, watching Los Angeles whiz by, Ravi tapping him on the shoulder every so often to talk about some random fact that he had learned.

And it was at that moment that Buck realized,

This is exactly where he needs to be right now.

Chapter Text

Eddie knows he has no right to feel how he felt when he walked into the station earlier in the day when Bobby told him as well as the rest of the team that Buck would be moved to the B-shift for the time being.

Hen and Chim had been confused, questions coming at Bobby rapid-fire

“Did Buck ask for this?”

“Is there something wrong with him?”

“What caused this?”

“How long is Buck going to be on B shift?”

Bobby had answered all the questions in the skillful way only a Captain could. Informative answers that didn’t reveal too much of Buck’s personal information, not revealing what was going on in his best friend’s mind right now

If Eddie even had the right to call himself that anymore after these past few weeks.

Chim and Hen’s questions continued to come rapid-fire, Bobby answering all of them in the same way. Nothing specific, nothing personal. But Eddie knew as soon as Bobby cut a glance over to him, that this had nothing to do with a change of pace.

It had everything to do with Eddie and the decision he had made to separate himself from Buck to make things work with Ana.

He had hurt Buck. It was all him. He was the reason Buck had been switched to B-shift, whether that was an executive decision by Bobby, or, and an option that had hurt more than he thought it would, a request that Buck had made himself.

Eddie didn’t speculate. He didn’t have the right to. It was he who had done this, he knew that.

There was a Buck shaped hole in the 118. The rides to calls were different. Times when Buck would be spouting off facts that he had learned. Some about the nature of the calls, some completely random, were replaced by a silence so deafening it pierced Eddie’s very soul.

What Eddie missed most of all though, was the feeling of warmth that he only had when Buck was pressed up against Eddie, from shoulder to toe. His presence grounding him in the moment on the way to a call.

Buck’s presence wasn’t just missed in the ladder truck on the way to calls, the entire vibe of the station had been off too. Buck wasn’t there, keeping the morale of the station up after a particularly rough call, and they had had several that day. No one could summon the optimism that Buck always had.

Like he was sunshine personified, a golden retriever in human form.

Throughout the shift, Hen and Chim talked about how they missed the youngest member of the team. But Eddie didn’t comment. He didn’t have the right to,

He had done this.

And at the end of the shift, as the A and B shifts made their shift change, he saw Buck and Ravi walking in together, knocking shoulders in a way that was all too familiar to him, while he only got a passing nod from Buck as Ravi and Buck walked into the locker room together. 

Well, he didn’t let himself acknowledge the way his heart squeezed painfully.

Because it was his fault.

So he just shouldered his bag and walked to his truck. Putting it in drive and heading home to Ana and Chris.

As he slid the key into the lock, he walked in, finding his girlfriend in the living room, waiting for him.

“Hi, Edmundo. How was work today?” she asked.

“It was… fine, I guess.” he said, “Buck was placed on B-shift while I was off the other day. And he’ll be there for the time being. Everyone’s missing him at the station right now.” 

“Oh.. that’s probably for the best though, right. Hasn’t he gotten pretty reckless on rescues lately? It might make it safer for you guys.” Ana said, and buried behind the words was a sense of smug satisfaction.

“The job’s dangerous, Ana. We can get hurt at any time.” Eddie points out, an edge to his voice. “We know the risk when we go into a call. It’s not any one person’s fault.”

Ana raised her hands placatingly, condescendingly. “I know that.” she soothed. “I was just telling you what I was thinking.”

‘Who said I wanted it? I’m only doing this because you wanted me to.’ Eddie almost said. Instead, he changed the subject. “How’s Christopher been lately?” he asked.

Ana shrugged at that. “He’s been in his room since Carla’s dropped him off. I offered to check his homework over for him but he just went inside and locked his door. I think he played too hard at the park today. We really should be keeping an eye on what he’s doing, if it’s safe for him.” Ana said.

Eddie frowned, first at the insinuation of what Chris can or cannot do, and then at the fact Chris had locked himself in his room after coming home. That wasn’t like him. Usually, he was telling whoever would listen about his day, about all the things he did. He would spend an hour telling Buck and Eddie about things that he did at lunch and recess alone.

“I’m going to go check on him. Are you staying for dinner tonight?” he asked.

“Unfortunately, no. I have plans with some of my friends to go to an art gallery opening. You’re more than welcome to come along if you want.” she said.

“Nah, I think I better stay here with Chris,” he said, kissing her on the cheek. “You have fun though,” he said.

“Alright. I’ll call you when I get home. I love you Edmundo.” she said.

The “I love you too,” Eddie replied with felt robotic.

Eddie knocked on Christopher’s door. “Hey bud, it’s me. Can I come in?” he asked.

He heard the distinctive click-clack of Chris’s crutches on the floor before the lock was unlatched and the door opened.

“Hey, Dad.” Chris smiled. But it was subdued. Not the usual mega-watt smile where you could see all of his teeth. Eddie hadn’t seen that smile on his son’s face in weeks.

“Hey buddy, is something up? Ana said you were in your room ever since Carla dropped you off.”

What was left of Chris’s smile dropped instantly at the mention of Ana’s name. “Yeah. I just wanted to take a rest,” he says.

“Are you sure that’s all it is?” Eddie asked.

Christopher hesitated, biting his lip, before responding. “Why is Buck never around anymore?” he asked.

Eddie’s heart dropped to his stomach. How can you tell your kid that his best friend isn’t around because of something his father had done? 

“Uh… we’re taking some space from one another,”  Eddie replied.

“Why? Is it like the lawsuit again? Where you and Buck were mad at each other?” Chris asked worriedly. That was one of the worst times of his life, not having his Buck and Dad together.

“No buddy, not at all. It’s just that… I’m dating Ana now, right? And that means that I need more time to ask her on dates. Buck and I only have so much free time, now that we’re both on different shifts.” Eddie said.

“You guys aren’t working together anymore?!” Christopher asked, getting angrier than Eddie has seen. “Why not?”

“Buddy, it’s okay. Bobby just moved Buck to help out the other firefighters on B shift. Do you remember Ravi? Ravi’s on B-shift too.” Eddie said.

“But Ravi’s not the same as you, Dad. Ravi can’t have Buck’s back like you do.” Chris insists.

“Chris, it will all be okay. Buck and I just need more time apart. And I need to spend more time with Ana, I really like her.” Eddie said. “Don’t you like her?”

Something flashed in Chris’s eyes, but he didn’t say anything else. He just nodded.

“Alright, buddy. It’ll all be okay. I promise. It’s just you and me for dinner tonight. So I’ll go get started on that.” he said, ruffling Chris’s hair. “Does spaghetti sound good?” he asked.

“Yeah Dad, spaghetti sounds good,” Chris said quietly.

Eddie nodded, walking out the door and into the kitchen, making dinner for himself and his son.

He had hoped that things would be alright.

Christopher knew he shouldn’t curse. But he, quite frankly, thought his father was full of bullshit, and couldn’t possibly understand in what universe Eddie thought that Ana Flores was better than Buck.

Dad had been trying to get Chris and Ana to know each other more, but the thing was that he never came with them. It was always just him and Ana. Either because his dad had a shift, or Ana wanted it to be just the two of them. 

Except, Chris hated it when he had to spend time with Ana.

He hated it when Ana took him to the park.

He would try to go on the swings like he had a thousand times before, but Ana would make him go to the swings that were for babies like Jee.

“This swing is safer, Christopher. With your CP, you can’t balance on the normal swing. This one’s special just for you!” she said.

Christopher didn’t want to go on the swings after that. 

So Christopher picked the monkey bars. Buck had shown him how to do it, and they had practiced together for hours, racing to the other side, and whoever would win would get the other one ice cream.

He was reaching out with a hand when Ana grabbed his hand, putting it down. “No, Christopher, that’s too dangerous because of your CP. You could hurt yourself. Why don’t we walk on the bridge that’s on the floor over here?”

Again, that bridge was for babies like Jee.

Christopher really really hated going to the park with Ana. 

He hated going on walks with her because she would hold his hand and wouldn’t let him explore like Buck did.

He hated reading books when she was at the house because she would take away the book and replace it with something for kids.

He hated doing his homework around her because she’d always correct it before he could 

So Christopher truly could not understand why his Dad, the smartest person Chris knew, was picking Ana over Buck. Buck his best friend, who had saved his life when they were in the tsunami together, and had brought him home to his dad. Buck, who had saved his dad’s life when he was shot and who stayed with them all throughout his recovery.

Buck, who was so in love with Dad that practically everyone who saw them together saw it. 

So why was Dad trying so hard to make it work with Ana when Buck was right there?

Chris missed Buck so much and Buck had always told Chris that things like Ana was doing and saying to him were never okay and that he should always tell his Dad or his Buck if anyone ever acted that way towards him.

Chris knew that he couldn’t talk to his dad. So he picked up his cell phone that Dad and Buck had surprised him with a few months ago. He poked his head out, hearing the front door shut. He must be walking to get the mail after finishing the pasta.

It was all clear now, so Chris sat on his bed, pulling up Buck’s contact, and pressing the FaceTime button.

There was a chance that Buck was busy at work, because apparently, he wasn’t on his Dad’s shift anymore, which in itself concerned Christopher, because, who would have Buck’s back if his dad wasn’t there?

Luckily, after two rings, Buck’s face appeared in front of Christopher.

“BUCK!!!” Christopher said excitedly. “I miss you!”

“Hey, Superman!” Buck said, and so much emotion was playing on his face.  It had been the first time in weeks that Buck had seen Chris’s face. “I missed you too, kiddo," he said, his voice raw. Things had gotten better since his conversation with Ravi, but seeing Christopher’s face… God, it still hurt that he was separated from him. It was like the lawsuit, but this time, he had done nothing. However, he smiled all the same. “What’s been going on with you lately? Any cool things happen at school?”

Chris grinned at that, giving him a full-on rundown, and it truly felt like the old days. It was only after Chris had finished talking about his latest science project, that he began to fidget with his fingers. His nervous tell that something was wrong.

“Hey, bud. What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Is Ana the reason you don’t come over anymore? Do you not like her? Because I don’t like her either.” Chris said, becoming way more emotional than he thought he would when he had the idea to call Buck and talk about Ana, biting his lip to keep it from wobbling.

A wave of concern and something resembling anger crashed over Buck. “Chris, buddy. What happened? Did Ana say something? Did she do something?” he asked

Chris swallowed a lump of emotion down. It felt like a big piece of fruit was stuck in his throat. He swallowed again before he nodded. “I thought you and Daddy said that I could do anything with my CP. That I could do the stuff everyone else does, as long as we make it special like we did with the skateboard.”

Buck’s heart sank. “Chris, buddy you can. You are so capable.” Buck said. “We can always adapt just like we did with the skateboard. Like we do when we go rock climbing.”

“I hate going out with Ana. Dad wants me to hang out with her all the time. But I hate going to the playground with her. She won’t let me go on the swings. She makes me go on the swings that Aunt Maddie puts Jee in. She says I’d fall because of my CP. But I-I always go on the swings with you and d-daddy.” he says, and Buck can see tears gathering in Christopher’s eyes. “And she won’t let me go on the monkey bars. But you taught me how. And you s-said I was getting g-good at monkey bar races.” he sniffled.

“And I hate reading with her because she always takes away my Percy Jackson books and gives me baby books.” A few tears fall down Chris’s cheeks.

“And I hate doing my homework with her. Because she takes it away and writes corrections on my worksheets before I can even f-finish them,” he says, a few more tears falling.

“I miss you, Buck. and I want you here. I don’t want my dad to marry Ana. I don’t want to do this forever. I don’t want you to go away forever.” Chris says, and at this point, he’s silently sobbing, his shoulders shaking.

Buck’s heart shatters. “Chris,” he says, and Chris just continues to cry. How long had this been going on? The whole month and a half he and Eddie had been separated? “ Christopher, baby. Listen to me ok? Look at me.” he encourages and smiles when Chris looks at him “You are so capable, Chris. You can do anything, alright? And those things you can’t do? I’ll do everything in my power to help you find a way to do them. And I’ll never leave you. I’m sorry that I haven’t been here. I haven’t been fighting to see you. But that ends now, okay? I’ll see your dad at work later when he comes in. I’ll talk to him, alright? I’ll talk to him about seeing you again, and I promise I’ll talk to him about Ana. I swear it, Chris.”

“But what if he gets mad at you? I think he really loves Ana.” Chris said, sniffling, heartbroken.

“I’ll deal with it Chris, I promise. No one’s more important than you. No one. Your father loves you so much, kid. Even though his head’s not in the right place right now. But I promise, I’m going to tell him everything, okay? So you don’t have to. I have your back, Superman. Always and forever, no matter what. Think you can hang in there for me?” he asked.

Chris nods. “Yeah. Thanks, Buck,” he said. “I love you, and I miss you.”

“I miss you too Superman. I’ve got this, okay? I’m so sorry I haven’t been here. But that stops now, yeah? I’ll see you soon okay?” he asks.

“Okay. I love you so much, Buck.” Chris says.

“I love you too Superman, always,” Buck says.

The two hang up, Buck running a hand through his hair, trying to calm himself down.

He knew what he needed to do next, and he hated the fact he’d have to confront Eddie, but he had to do it. 

For Christopher.

A few hours later, Eddie arrives at work for another shift. He knows that he’ll probably see Buck and that they’ll avoid each other because that’s what they’ve been doing for the past month and a half. 

Eddie had been getting more and more irritable at work. And he knew he knew he had no business to be because this was his idea. He did this because he wanted to try and make it work with Ana. It was his fault.

But, God, he missed Buck. He missed Buck so much.

And a lot of people on the team were beginning to notice it.

They’re at shift change, A-shift walking in as members of the B-shift get ready to head home for the day. Eddie had expected Buck to just walk past with Ravi, but he stopped in front of him. 

“We need to talk,” Buck said, with such a finality that it didn’t give Eddie space to agree or deny.

“It’s about Christopher. And Ana.” Buck said.

“What about Christopher and Ana? You’ve been talking to Christopher?” 

“Yeah, as much as you tried to get me not to. Which, what the fuck man?” Buck says. “But that’s not the point here. The point here is that you’re so blind in your relationship that not only do you ice out your best friend of three years for her, but you also hurt your son.” Buck snapped.

“Now wait a minute, Buck. What the hell are you talking about right now?” Eddie asked “I’ve been leaving Ana with Chris, and she says it’s been going fine.” he said.

“Exactly. She says. What about what Chris says? Did you know Chris FaceTimed me a few hours ago? He told me about everything. He told me about how Ana makes him feel like a baby. She doesn’t let him swing on the swing. She doesn’t let him use the monkey bars. She doesn’t let him read Percy Jackson. She doesn’t let him do his own homework before she corrects it for him.” Buck says, his voice getting louder and louder. “She tells him that he can’t do things because of his cerebral palsy. Eddie, I thought you and I vowed to never let anyone talk that way about Christopher. That we vowed to never let anyone make Christopher feel like his CP defines him. And now your girlfriend is doing it? God, Eddie. What the fuck is going on with you man? Why are you trying so hard with Ana when it’s obvious your kid is uncomfortable with her? Why are you letting her control your life? Control Christopher’s?” Buck says, “Why are you icing me out of your life for her? Me?” Buck said.

Eddie looks at Buck wide-eyed. “Buck, that’s not what this is-” Eddie said.

‘That’s exactly what this is.’  Eddie’s mind supplied.

“You know what? It is. But forget I said that. It’s not me who matters here. You’ve made that clear. But it’s Christopher. Christopher fucking matters. And I thought you’d know that. Why the fuck aren’t you thinking about Christopher, right now Eddie? Why aren’t you seeing this? I could see as soon as I picked up the phone something was wrong-” Buck said.

“Now hold on. You don’t get to tell me your opinion on Chris-” Eddie says, getting angrier and angrier all of a sudden. But it wasn’t because of Buck, he was mad at himself. For the distance. For the fact that someone else had to tell him how Christopher had been feeling. For the fact that Christopher felt he had to go to someone else because Eddie had been trying so hard to make his relationship with Ana work. But that didn’t stop the rage as it got closer and closer to bubbling over.

“Someone has to, Eddie. Chris is–”

“No Buck, you don’t get to tell me what to do here. Christopher is not your kid. He’s mine . You’re not his father. ” Eddie snapped. And the moment, the moment those words came out, he wanted so desperately to take them back.

The words hit Buck in the chest like twin bullets. His eyes filled with tears, his heart racing in his chest as he turned around, storming out of the station, dodging Ravi’s hand as he reached for him. He got in his car and drove away.

Inside the station, Eddie ran his hands through his hair, turning to see the shocked expressions of the rest of the team, and faced Bobby, who was already looking at him, and just for a moment, Eddie thought he saw something resembling anger on his Captain's face, before he had pulled his face back into a neutral expression. “You’re going home, Diaz. You’re not in the mental condition to work safely after that confrontation. We’ll see you for your next shift.” Bobby said, walking up to Ravi to see if he’d be Eddie’s replacement for the day.

Eddie could have fought it, but he knew he was in no position to be saving lives. That he was in no position for his teammates’ lives to depend on him.

So he waited for a few minutes for Buck to be gone before he went out and got into his truck and drove home.

When Buck arrived at the loft, his heart was still racing just as fast as it was when he had left the station after his argument. All he could think of was the fact that it really was over between him and Eddie. 

There would be no more movie nights.

There would be no more trips to the aquarium and zoo with Christopher.

He would never get to tell Eddie that he loved him. 

Buck ran a hand through his hair, pacing the apartment, the things Eddie had said slamming into him all at once.

Now hold on, you don’t get to tell me your opinion on Chris-

Christopher is not your kid, he’s mine. You’re not his father.

And all of a sudden, Buck thought of something else that Eddie had said. Something he hadn’t thought of in years.

You’re exhausting.

It was with that thought, that Buck felt such an overwhelming sense of dizziness that he suddenly found himself unable to breathe. He tried clearing his throat, once, twice, but it only caused him to go into a coughing fit. He brought his hand to his mouth, feeling something wet. He looked down to see blood coating his fingers.

The next thing he heard was a door opening and heard his name being screamed.

“BUCK!!!!!!”

Then, he collapsed, and darkness began to creep in, only hearing his continued coughing and the continued screaming of his name. 

“BUCK!!! BUCK!!!!”

And the last thing Buck thought, as the darkness overtook him?

The voice calling his name, over and over and over again?

It sounded… almost childlike.

Chapter Text

45 minutes earlier 

Christopher was sitting on the couch (luckily, without Ana, thank God), when he heard the door open, surprised to see his father walk in.

“Hey, buddy,” Eddie said.

Christopher was about to ask why his Dad was home. He was supposed to be at the station for a 24-hour shift. But before he could ask, Dad went into the kitchen, finding Carla.

It was a few minutes later when the two exited together, and Carla grabbed her bag, telling Chris that she was leaving early, and making him promise to still do his homework.

It was only after the door closes behind her that Christopher finally asks, 

“Why are you home so early, Dad? I thought you had to be at work until late tomorrow.” Chris asked, looking at his dad.

Eddie raked a hand through his hair. “Yeah, bud, but Bobby let me go home early.” Eddie said.

“Really? How come?” he asked.

“I… I had a fight with Buck,” Eddie said, and Christopher’s heart sank. “Bobby knew I wouldn’t be able to focus so it was safer for everyone if I came home.”

“What did you and Buck fight about?” Christopher asks, even though he knew it was most likely because of his and Buck’s FaceTime call.

Did Buck tell his Dad everything about Ana, was he able to change his mind?

“It’s just grownup stuff, bud? Okay?” Eddie asked. “I gotta go to my room for a bit. Work on your homework for me alright?”

“But dad-” Chris said, but Eddie had already gone into his room.

Chris’s heart sank again. He had been feeling for weeks that he was being treated like a baby. Ana was treating him like a baby at the park, in his own home, and now he was too young to understand the fight between his Dad and Buck.

He was so tired of being treated like a baby.

So Christopher took matters into his own hands. First, he found his father’s phone, resting on the countertop. So he grabbed it, inputting his Dad’s password (he still hadn’t changed it.), and ordered an Uber, paying for it off his Dad’s card that was connected.

Next, he had to look for Buck’s spare house key that he had given his Dad.

It took a couple of tries, but he eventually found it in the fourth drawer. Having everything he needed, Christopher snuck out through the back door, getting into the Uber when it pulled up.

Before Christopher knew it, the Uber pulled up to Buck’s apartment, he thanked the Uber driver, swung his crutches out the door with practiced skill, took the elevator to Buck’s floor, and slid the key into the door. It took a couple of tries, but he was able to get the door to unlock. He opened it, only to see the thing that he never wanted to see after the day at Bobby and Athena’s house.

His Buck, coughing up blood.

“Buck!!!” he screamed as he watched Buck collapse, “BUCK!!! BUCK!!!” he screamed again, watching as his best friend collapsed, going as fast as his crutches would carry him, before ditching them, stumbling the rest of the way. “Buck!” he said, trying to shake him awake. Tears streamed down Christopher’s cheeks as he realized Buck wouldn’t wake up.

Remembering what Buck and his Dad had told him about what to do in an emergency, he pulled out his phone that he had brought with him, punching in his password before calling 911

“911, what’s your emergency?” the man on the other side asked.

“My best friend is coughing up blood!” Christopher cried, pulling his sleeve over his hand to try and wipe the blood off Buck’s face. He hated seeing Buck’s face covered in blood. “He’s not waking up!” he adds.

“Alright, buddy. What’s your name?” the operator asked.

“It’s C-Christopher,” he replies, swiping furiously at Buck’s cheeks, trying to get all the blood off.

So much blood.

“Christopher, can you tell me what happened?”

“I don’t know… I just- I just got here and he was coughing up blood and fell over. I think- I think he did this last time too.” Chris said.

“This has happened before? When?” he asked.

Christopher ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t have time to answer all of these questions. He didn’t know all the answers. He had been led away by May. 

Wait, he thought, Aunt Maddie knows! And Aunt Maddie works at dispatch!

“I need to talk to Aunt Maddie!” Christopher says suddenly.

“Aunt Maddie? Who’s that?” the operator asked.

“My aunt, Maddie Buckley! Buck’s sister. It’s Buck who’s bleeding right now. Buck’s my best friend.” Christopher rushes out. “I need to talk to my Aunt Maddie!”

There was a pause on the other line, and Chris heard some shuffling before he heard Aunt Maddie’s voice.

“Christopher, hey, it’s your Aunt Maddie,” Maddie said, and he could hear her typing. Hopefully, that meant that she was working on finding an ambulance. “Can you tell me where you are? Can you tell me what’s happening with Buck?” she asked.

“Aunt Maddie!” Christopher said, and in that moment he felt like crying. But he had to be strong, for Buck. “I’m at Buck’s apartment. I think it’s happening again,” he said, his voice cracking.

“What’s happening, Chris?” Maddie asked, and on the other side, Chris heard more typing. 

“The same thing that happened at Bobby and Athena’s house,” Christopher said, his voice cracking.

“He’s having another embolism?” Maddie asked, trying to keep her voice calm even though her heart raced in her chest. “Alright, Chris. Are there any other adults around? Did your dad take you to Buck’s?” she asked, dispatching the nearest unit to Buck’s apartment, it was just pure luck that it was the 118.

“No, I came alone. I took an Uber.” Chris answered. “All I wanted to do was see Buck. That’s all I wanted to do.” Christopher repeated, tears rolling down his face.

“Chris, honey, it’s alright, okay? It’s good that you were there. I think you just saved Buck’s life. The 118 are on the way okay? They’re about a minute out. You should be hearing them any second now.” she said. “You’ve done so great, Christopher. Buck will be okay. You got to him right when it was happening. You did so great, Chris.” Maddie says, looking over her shoulder to see that Sue had joined Josh at her side.

“O-Okay,” Christopher said. 

The 118 weren’t expecting to be called to the apartment of one of their own when they started their shift today.

They also weren’t expecting to see Christopher wiping furiously at Buck’s mouth, his jacket sleeves covered in blood.

Hen, Chim, Ravi, and Bobby rushed forward, Hen and Chim immediately tending to Buck, Bobby pulling Christopher back into his arms, and hugging him tightly.

It took all of five minutes to get Buck loaded into the ambulance, Hen hopping in the back with him, Chim driving.

That left Bobby and Ravi to drive the truck, Bobby allowing Ravi to drive so he could keep a shaking Christopher in his arms, putting a headset that was way too big for him over his ears, whispering quiet reassurances through the mike.

You got to him just in time

Hen said that his heart was beating.

He’s going to be okay because of you, Christopher.

The group gathered in the waiting room after Buck was wheeled into surgery, just like they had years ago when Buck had his first embolism.

“Chris, did your dad know that you went to Buck’s?” Bobby asked the boy as he sat down with him, earning a head shake from the young boy. 

“No. He hasn’t been letting me see Buck. So I went by myself.” he said.

Bobby sighed, pulling out his phone to call him, but Eddie’s contact name lit up on his phone before he had the chance. He hit the green button, not having the chance to speak before Eddie’s frantic voice filled his ear.

“Bobby. Chris is gone. He left, and I have no idea where he is.” Eddie said, panicked. “I went to my room, and when I came back, he was gone. I have no clue where he is. Can you call–” 

“Eddie, Eddie. Chris is here with me.” Bobby said. “Listen–”

“With you? He went to the station?” Eddie asked.

“No. We found him at Buck’s apartment. On a call–”

“There was a call at Buck’s apartment? What was Chris doing there?” he asked.

“The call was Buck, Eddie.” Bobby paused, swallowing before continuing. “Chris must have ordered an Uber on your phone to Buck’s place. He got there and he found– he found Buck on the floor coughing up blood. He had another embolism.”

On the other side of the line, Eddie’s whole world crashed. “Buck had another embolism?” Eddie whispered brokenly.

“Yeah… yeah he did. Chris got there right when it was happening and called 911 and got connected with Maddie. We were the closest unit and we got called to the scene. Hen and Chim were able to get him as stable as they could, and we rushed him over to the hospital closest to Buck’s.”

Eddie let out a broken sob. “Is he in surgery now?” he rasped. 

“Yes. You better get down here, Eddie.” Bobby said. “Chris is pretty shaken up.”

Eddie was already grabbing his keys. “I’m on my way,” he said, before hanging up and running to his truck, groaning as he saw Ana pull up. 

“Edmundo? What’s wrong?” Ana asked.

“Buck’s in the hospital. He had another embolism.” Eddie said, tripping over his words. “Chris found him, coughing up blood.” 

Ana’s eyes widened. “How did Christopher get over there? I thought you and Christopher were distancing yourselves from him?”

“Chris took an Uber over,” Eddie explained, opening the door to his truck and getting in.

“He ordered an Uber? Edmundo, I don’t think it’s safe to let him use a phone…” she said.

“Well thank God he did.” Eddie snaps. “Because Christopher is the reason Buck is alive right now. He saved Buck’s life, but it should have been me. I should have been the one who was there, but I was distancing myself to make this relationship work.” Eddie said, raking a hand through his hair.

Ana was about to speak again, but Eddie cut her off. “Ana, I can’t do this right now. I need to go to the hospital. I need to console my traumatized son and be with my team while we hear if Buck is okay.” he said, before driving off, leaving Ana standing in his driveway.

Eddie arrived at the hospital, immediately running to where he saw the 118 (plus Athena, Maddie, and Karen) gathered, Christopher at the center, his sweatshirt sleeves covered in blood.

Buck’s blood.

He took Chris into his arms, hugging him tightly “Buddy, you scared me so badly.” he said, putting his nose in Christopher’s curls as he hugged him.

“I’m sorry Dad. But I had to see Buck and you wouldn’t tell me anything,” he said.

“It’s alright buddy. I’m so glad you went over there, yeah? You saved Buck’s life. I’m just sorry you had to see that.” Eddie said, rubbing his back. Then he turned to Bobby. “Any updates?”

“No, not yet–” Bobby was cut off by a man in navy blue scrubs approaching. 

“Family of Evan Buckley?” he asked, and Maddie quickly handed Jee-Yun to Chimney before rising, the rest of the group following a few paces behind.

“I’m his sister. Is Evan okay?” Maddie asked.

“He’s very lucky someone was there with him.” the doctor smiled at Christopher, putting two and two together seeing the boy’s bloodied sleeves, and Eddie ran a reassuring hand down his back. “If he had been found later we could be having a very different conversation right now. The next few hours, however, are critical. But Buck stands a chance.” the doctor said.

“Doctor, I’m confused. The last embolism Buck had was because of the rod and screws in his leg, and he had then taken out.” Bobby said, “So what caused this one?”

“Pulmonary embolisms have several different causes.”  the doctor said, the whole group, including Christopher, listened with rapt attention. “Stress, sadness, and anger… severe emotions such as those can be a huge contributor,” he informs. His pager goes off, and he excuses himself from the group.

The group splits off, each going into their little corners of the waiting room.

The gears in Christopher’s mind start turning, and Christopher turns the words stress, anger, and sadness over and over in his mind, thinking about the events of the last few weeks, analyzing them as if he and Buck were analyzing the prompts to one of his science projects, connecting the dots.

“Sadness, stress, and anger,” Christopher repeats, this time, aloud, gaining Eddie’s attention.

“What was that, bud?” Eddie asked, reaching for his arm, surprised when Christopher pulled away.

“The doctor said sadness, stress, and anger caused Buck to have an embolism again,” Chris said, his voice getting louder.

“He did say it could be a cause,” Eddie said, trying to calm him. “But he’ll be fine. The surgery went well, remember?” Eddie said.

“But he shouldn’t have had the surgery in the first place. He shouldn’t have had the embolism! It was YOUR FAULT!” Christopher snapped.

“Whoa, wait buddy, hold on a minute.” Eddie reached for his son, but Christopher stepped back, on surprisingly steady legs.

“ No! Buck was sad and angry because of you! You picked Ana over me and Buck!” he says, “I hate Ana! She makes me feel like a baby! She doesn’t let me do the things Buck does, and she treats me differently because of my CP! You said to never let people treat me differently because of my CP, but she does and you let her. You didn’t even pay attention!” he yells. “And you picked Ana over Buck! You made Buck sad because you wouldn’t talk to him and you always went on dates with Ana.” Chris’s yelling had everyone’s attention now. “You made Buck sad because you never let us see each other. And you made Buck mad when you fought with him. You always pick Ana over Buck. You haven’t even talked to him for two months!  Buck had another embolism because of you, Dad!” Christopher cries. “And if Buck dies, I’ll never ever forgive you!” he screams, before holding his crutches in a death grip and walking over to where Maddie, Athena, and Bobby were, all looking at the two in shock. When Chris got there though, Maddie immediately wrapped him in her arms, tugging him to her chest, Athena running a hand up and down his back beside her.

Eddie just stood there, staring at the now-empty space where Christopher had been standing, letting the words his son had just yelled sink in. 

He was right.

Christopher was so right.

This was all his fault.

Chapter Text

Eddie knew that Christopher needed his space right now, so he sat up against a familiar wall, the wall that he had held vigil at after Buck was rushed in after being pinned underneath the fire truck, and then again after Buck had his first embolism. He leaned back, resting his head against the wall, watching as Christopher walked off with Bobby and Athena to get snacks for the rest of the group. He only took his eyes off Christopher’s retreating form when Hen’s boots appeared in his line of sight.

“Mind if I sit with you?” Hen asked.

“Depends. Are you going to yell at me too?” He chuckled humorlessly.

“No. I think Christopher said everything I wanted to.” she said, sitting next to him “I didn’t know the kid had it in him.” she says.

“He was right, though,” Eddie said. “God, he was right.”

“He was.” Hen agreed, before continuing. “Eddie… What have these past two months been about? Truly? Because this is so unlike you. You and Buck have been inseparable for years."

Eddie shook his head. “I don’t know. I wanted to make things work with Ana. Because she’s perfect on paper. She’s everything my parents have said that I need in a wife. That Chris needs in a mother.”

“So what, if she’s perfect on paper, Eddie? She’s clearly not perfect for Christopher. You heard everything he said. And chances are that’s not even the full extent of it.” she said.

“I know. Fuck. I know.” Eddie raked a hand through his hair.  “It’s just… expectations…” Eddie starts before Hen cuts him off.

“Whose expectations, Eddie? Your parents? Society? Who the fuck cares ? You barely even talk to your parents anymore, Eddie. They’re terrible to you. So what should they get to say when it comes to your happiness? Families aren’t one size fits all. Just look at me and Karen. Do you think that we are any less a family because we’re not straight?”

“Of course not,” Eddie says.

“Okay. So why should you be any different, huh?” she asks. “Why do have to be a carbon copy of your dad? Why does it have to be someone like Ana? Why can’t it be Buck?”

“Who said anything about--” Again, Eddie is cut off.

“Oh come on, Eddie, who are you fooling here? You love Buck. You have since the beginning. He loves you too and has loved you just as long . Who the hell cares about what your parents think? That little boy over there?” Hen asked, pointing in the general direction of where Chris had gone off with Bobby and Athena. “He doesn’t need a mother . He just needs someone who loves him unconditionally. And you know who that is. It’s you. It’s you and Buck. You and Buck both would sacrifice your lives for that boy. And guess what, Eddie? That’s what matters. That’s a family. Who cares if it doesn’t look like Ramon and Helena’s? This isn’t their love. It’s yours. And it’s Buck’s. And Christopher’s. So why do they get a say in your happiness? Why do they get a say in who you get to love? That choice is yours and yours alone, Eddie.” Hen says. “You just make the right one for you. And for Christopher.” 

“Thanks, Hen,” Eddie says, wiping tears from his eyes. “Was it that obvious? That I love him?” he asked.

“Oh honey, we all knew it as soon as you said ‘You can have my back any day’” Hen said, patting him on the shoulder. “What we don’t understand is why you both have been fighting it for so long when it’s clear that what you have is a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love.”

“I’m done fighting it,” Eddie said. “If he ever forgives me for what I’ve put him through, I swear to God, I’m done fighting it. I just have to talk to Ana first, confront her about everything that happened with Chris, and break up with her.”

“It looks like the universe is going to help you out with that one,” Hen said, nodding towards the entryway, where Ana walked through the hospital doors. “I would get on that before Athena returns, though. We’d be lucky if all she did was arrest her.”

Eddie nodded, rising onto his feet and walking towards Ana, who lit up at the sight of her boyfriend.

“Edmundo, I was just coming in to see if you wanted me to take you and Christopher home, you’ve already been here so long, and Christopher needs his rest,” Ana said. And there it was. The condescending undertone.

“Ana, we need to talk,” Eddie says.

“Okay. Can we do it at home? I really think you guys have been here long enough–” 

“No, Ana. I’m not letting you near Christopher. He told me everything. He told me about how you treat him differently because of his CP, and how you make him feel like a baby. And I can’t have someone in my life and in Christopher’s who makes him feel any less of who he is. And who he is is an amazing kid. A kid who is smart beyond his years.” Eddie said. 

“Edmundo...” she says, “There are some things that Christopher can’t do because of his cerebral palsy. And he needs to see that. As his future mother, I need to show him that. It’s obvious that Buck never did that,” she said, suddenly switching gears and attacking his best friend. “He always enabled Christopher’s behavior, because he was reckless himself, he endangered–”

“ No. Buck never put Christopher in danger, and he never would. He saved Christopher’s life during a fucking tsunami. My son wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for him. I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for him. And I stupidly stupidly let you convince me to ice him out of my life. He would never hurt him. He would do everything in his power to make sure Chris comes home. I’m the one who hurt my son. I hurt my son by not allowing him to see his best friend, and I hurt Buck by picking you over him. And that’s all my fault. My actions hurt my son. And I’m done shying away from it. Not taking accountability for my actions. I stayed in this relationship,” Eddie said, gesturing between himself and Ana, “Because of the expectations my parents had. The expectations that they drilled into me since I was born. But I’m done letting them rule my life. I’m done letting them tell me who I get to love. Because they have done nothing but try to take Christopher away from me. They have been trying to control Christopher and me since day one, and you’re doing the same thing. So I’m done. I’m done letting them control my happiness. And I’m done letting you make Christopher believe that he’s anyone less than who he is . A phenomenal kid who’s growing up to be an amazing young man.” Eddie says, glaring at Ana. “And I’m done pretending that every piece of my heart, every piece of my soul, doesn’t belong to Evan Buckley. I’m done pretending that I’m not in love with him.  We’re done, Ana.” Eddie says.

Eddie could tell Ana was about to argue, but they were interrupted by Athena walking up to stand beside Eddie “Ana, it’s time for you to go. Either leave on your own accord, or I’ll throw you out myself. This area is for the family of Evan Buckley, and the family of Evan Buckley alone. And that doesn’t include you .” 

With a huff, Ana stormed off, Eddie turning around to see Chim, Athena, and Hen behind him, all grinning.

“It’s about fucking time, boy,” Athena said. “I’ve been waiting for you to pull your head out of your ass for two months.”

Eddiie snorted, shaking his head before asking, “Where is Chris?”

“One of Buck’s nurses met us in the hall saying that Buck could have visitors. Maddie and Bobby took Chris in to visit him.” Athena explained, guiding Eddie to sit in one of the metal hospital chairs. 

“God, Chris probably hates me,” Eddie says shaking his head. “It’s my fault, all of it. It’s my fault for not waking up sooner. For not realizing what Ana was doing to Chris. And it’s my fault that Buck had another embolism. All the stress these last two months has caused him…”

“What matters Eddie, is that you’re going to fix it. You’re going to fix everything with Buck and Chris. Starting now.” Athena soothed.

Eddie nodded.

He was going to start making things right.

Starting now.

Eddie walked into Buck’s hospital room to see Chris asleep, cuddled protectively into Buck’s side, his hand placed on Buck’s chest, over his beating heart as if Chris needed to feel it beating before he allowed himself to fall asleep, and after the events of the day, Eddie didn’t blame him. Bobby and Maddie had changed him into a shirt from the hospital gift shop, the bloodied sweatshirt placed in a bag beside a chair. And god, had Eddie missed that sight. The sight of his two favorite people in this world cuddled together. It reminded him of Friday movie nights, or sleepy Saturday mornings spent on the couch after Buck had made them all pancakes. And God, he missed those moments more than anything, and it was evident Chris had too. He would always go straight to Buck.

And if it wasn’t clear in any of the events of the past two and a half hours, it was clear as day now. Buck was what they needed. Buck was their center. Buck was their home. There was no Eddie and Chris without Buck.

Eddie had texted Carla to come and pick Chris up because he and Buck needed to have a conversation. Eddie looked up from his phone to see Buck stirring, opening his eyes. He panicked at first, but calmed down at the sight of Christopher nestled into his side, a look of contentment on his face as he stroked a hand through Christopher’s golden curls before bringing his hand to rest over the small hand on top of his chest. 

“Hey,” Eddie said softly. It was just the three of them in the room now, Maddie and Bobby knowing that they would need their space to talk things out.

A brief look of surprise, and something resembling longing crossed over Buck’s face, and then, as if he suddenly remembered these last two months, his face hardened. “What happened? What are you doing here?” he asked softly, to not wake the sleeping boy beside him.

“You had another embolism.” Eddie choked out, closing his eyes at the look of shock and devastation that crossed Buck’s features. “We need to talk. But after. Carla’s coming to pick Chris up.”

“So what? So you can take him away from me again? So you two can just leave?” Buck whispered fiercely. “You only let me see him because I had an embolism, and now you’re gonna take him away again, so it’ll hurt all over again?” Buck asked, trying his hardest to keep his voice quiet. 

“No, Buck. I’m done with that. I’ll never do it again, okay? I promise. And I’ll explain everything if you let me.  I just can’t do that with Chris here. Because it’s a lot. It’s complicated, and it’s messy. So, please. Hear me out. Carla’s gonna be here any minute.”

Buck looked at Eddie for a moment, eyes assessing, before nodding.

A few minutes later, Carla popped in, knocking at the door “How are you doing Buckaroo?” she asked softly, and Buck grinned at her.

“Ah, you have an embolism once, you have it a thousand times. I’ll rally.” he joked, and Carla scoffed.

“You better not make this a habit, Buck,” she said, shaking her head, earning a chuckle. 

“I’ll try,” Buck said with a grin.

Eddie walked over, beginning to rouse Chris.

“What?” Chris grumbled sleepily, not opening his eyes, his hand gripping Buck’s hospital gown tighter.

“Bud, can you wake up for me?” Eddie tried.

“No. I’m tired,” he grumbled.

Eddie glanced over at Buck, their eyes meeting. And despite all the distance, the hurt, and the pain, they had one of their trademark silent conversations, able to communicate all they needed to by simply looking into each other’s eyes. Buck nodded before he spoke up.

“Not even if I promise you pancakes when I get out of here?” he asked with that soft, smiling voice that was reserved for Christopher, and Christopher alone.

At that, Christopher’s eyes flew open, and he looked straight at Buck. “Buck?!” he asked.

“Hey there, Superman,” Buck said quietly, the softest of smiles on his face. “I heard I have you to thank for saving my life.” he grinned, running a hand over Christopher’s curls.

Christopher’s eyes watered before he hurled his tiny frame into Buck’s chest, holding him tightly. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Buck. I missed you so much.” he cried.

“I missed you too, Christopher. More than you’ll ever know, I missed you.” Buck said, hugging him tightly. “And I’m never gonna leave again, I promise,” he added, burying his head into Christopher’s hair, smelling the all too familiar smell of kid shampoo.

“Chris, buddy. Carla’s here to take you home.” Eddie said, and Chris’s gaze landed on his father, and he could tell he was still mad.

“No. I need to stay here with Buck. I’m not going home.” he said.

“Chris, bud, you have school tomorrow, and it’s already late. You need to go home and rest.” Eddie says.

“ No. I need to stay here and protect Buck.” Christopher says, “We left him alone and he had an embolism. I’m not letting him be alone again!” Chris exclaims 

“Chris, buddy–” Eddie starts, but Buck cuts him off.

“Hey, Chris. Look at me.” Buck says, pausing until Chris’s eyes flit over to him. “Listen. I’ll be okay, alright? You did the hard part. You found me and you called 911 so help would come. You saved my life. But you need to go rest, okay? I know you’re tired, bud. So do me a favor and go with Carla and go home and sleep yeah? Your dad is here, Bobby and Athena and the rest of the 118 are here too. So I won’t be alone, I promise. The doctors will take really good care of me too, okay? And guess what? You can come back first thing after school tomorrow if that’s okay with Carla.”

“That can be arranged.” Carla smiled.

Christopher pouted. “Okay. But you promise to call if anything goes wrong again?”

“I promise, buddy. You were so brave today, and I’m so proud of you. I’ll see you soon okay?” Buck says, kissing his curls.

After another tight hug from his Buck, Christopher hopped off the bed with help from Carla, hugging his dad. He was still so mad at him, but he had had a rough day.

Both Eddie and Buck watched as Carla guided Christopher out and disappeared down the hallway.

“So you wanted to talk?” Buck asked.

Eddie nodded, sitting in the chair at Buck’s side. “About these last two months, Buck–”

“What about them, Eddie?” Buck scoffed. “You made your decision clear. I obviously have no place in your life. So why are you here now?” Buck asked, his tone angry, but Eddie could see the tears in his eyes, his gut twisting at the idea that he had been the cause. “Is it just because I had the embolism? Because if so, don’t bother. Just go back to your perfect girlfriend. You want this perfect family, and you made it clear there’s no space for me in it. So just do me a favor and stop rubbing it in.” Buck choked out. “I’m used to everyone in my life leaving, Eddie. But I never thought that it would be you who left. I never thought it would be you who walked away and took Chris with you. You were supposed to be my best friend. You were supposed to have my back. You were supposed to love me anyway. But you didn’t. You left. And now what, you’re back out of pity? You’re back because I almost died, again?! I don’t want it that way, Eddie. If you’re only here out of pity, I don’t want you here at all.” Buck said, tears escaping down his cheeks.

Eddie looked at him, tears rolling down his cheeks, stunned in silence, before, “I didn’t come back out of pity.” he whispers, so quietly, so brokenly, that Buck barely heard him.

“What?” he asked.

“I’m not here out of pity,” Eddie repeats. “I broke up with Ana,” Eddie said.

“I– you what… When?” Buck asked.

“Some part of me knew that I was going to break up with her after what you told me at the station. But I knew for sure after Chris yelled at me and Hen talked to me afterward.”

“Chris yelled at you?” Buck asked incredulously. 

“Yeah. He confirmed everything that you said. And I’m so sorry that it took me this long to believe you, Buck. I just… I don’t know. It’s stupid now.” he said shaking his head. “Chris took an Uber to see you, you know?” he chuckled humorlessly. “Just like the last time. He was in distress. He was heartbroken, and he knew he couldn’t talk to me about it because he thought I was in love with Ana. So the first person he ran to was you. I always want you to be the person Christopher runs to, Buck. And I’m so sorry that I was so stupid that I put that all at risk for Ana. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that she wasn’t worth it and that you’re worth everything. ” Eddie said, looking into Buck’s eyes to see them full of tears again.

“Hen and I talked, after Chris stormed off, talked about why I needed to try so hard to make things work with Ana. About the image of the perfect family that my parents had drilled into me as long as I could remember, and how Ana, on paper, fit that image. That’s why I chose her, I think. That’s why I tried so hard to make it work, even when it was affecting the people I love the most in this world.”

“Do you know what Hen asked me next?” Eddie asked, looking up at Buck, continuing when he shook his head. “She asked me if I thought that she and Karen were any less of a family because they weren’t straight. And I said ‘Of course not’. So in typical Hen fashion, she flipped the script on me and asked why I was any different.” Eddie paused, swallowing the lump in his throat. “And it was in that instant when I asked myself ‘ Why?’ I asked myself why I was still letting my parents control me when they made it clear how little of me they think. How they think I’m not a good parent to my kid. My whole life, I knew they thought I was a fuck up.” he shakes his head. “But I still let them control my life. I still let them have a say in who I loved. And it was only in that waiting room, waiting to see if you lived or died, again, that I realized that I was done letting them decide who I would love in this life.” 

“It was only after I put that all aside that I realized that that person was in front of me this whole time. All I’ve ever wanted was to fall in love with someone who would love Chris just as much as I love him. Someone who would put him first, and who wouldn’t hold him back because of his CP. And I searched, and I searched. I kept searching when the obvious answer was right in front of me.” Eddie looked at Buck again. 

“My whole life, I was just waiting for the love of my life to show up. And everyone I dated, I knew they weren’t the love of my life.” Eddie paused, “I’ll always love Shannon for giving me Christopher. But she wasn’t the love of my life. I thought she was, at the time. But it was clear she wasn’t. Even when Shannon came back, and we wanted to try again, I knew it wouldn’t work out. And a part of me knew the same would be true with Ana. I just didn’t understand it at the time. As much as I tried to force things to work with Ana, they never truly would. Because I was in love with someone else the whole time. I am in love with someone else.” he said.

“Eddie, why are you saying all of this?” Buck asked, his voice raw. Hopeful. Eddie stood up from his chair, walking to Buck’s side.

“Because Evan ,  you need to know that I came back because I love you. I hate that it took a second embolism to make me realize how badly I fucked up choosing Ana over you. And a part of me will never forgive myself for how badly I hurt you.” Eddie said, wiping his eyes. 

Eddie looked up to see Buck looking at him with tears in his eyes. “Do you know how much I’ve missed you these past two months?” Buck asked, his eyes bright.

“I might have some idea.” he laughed wetly because he had missed Buck too. Taking another step toward the bed, glancing down before his eyes met Buck’s again, a silent question.

Buck nodded, sliding over until there was space for Eddie to slip in. and the instant that Eddie sat down, his arms were around Buck. gripping him tightly.

“God, Buck. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry about these last two months.” Eddie apologized again, burying his head in the juncture between Buck’s neck and shoulder.

There was no reply from Buck. instead, there was a hand on Eddie’s cheek, guiding his face away from Buck’s neck so he was facing him again, his baby blue eyes looking into his hazel ones. “Say it again,” he said softly.

“I’m sorry.” Eddie said.

“Not that. The other thing.”

“I love you, Evan,” he repeated, and Buck grinned. The first smile he had given Eddie in months. And God, had Eddie missed it.

“I love you too,” Buck said, sliding his other hand up to cup Eddie’s cheek, and pulling him into a kiss. 

If you asked Buck and Eddie later, they would say that it wasn’t what either of them had thought their first kiss would be like. They thought it would be hot, angry, hungry, or passionate. But that wasn’t what this kiss had been, and it wasn’t what they needed after those two terrible months of separation.

That first kiss was apology, forgiveness, and a promise all wrapped into one.

And in that moment, it was everything that they needed.

Chapter Text

Buck was released from the hospital a few days later, and put up zero fight when Eddie told him he would be coming home with him so that he could keep an eye on Buck during his recovery.

“ After two months apart and an embolism? You better believe I won’t let you out of my sight again. You’re stuck with me forever, Buckley.” Eddie had said as he helped him slip into his clothes that he had packed him to come home in. 

Forever with Eddie sounded pretty great.

To say that Chris had been over-the-moon happy to see Buck walking through the door with Eddie would be an understatement. He had run towards Buck with more speed than they had both thought possible, slamming into him and wrapping his arms around his middle, and Buck had instantly picked him up and returned the hug, and the feeling Buck got when Eddie joined the hug, wrapping his arms around Buck and Chris? It was the best feeling in the world.

But the excitement that they had seen on Chris’s face when Buck had walked through the door again was nothing compared to the excitement that had overtaken Chris when Buck and Eddie told him they were together.

“FINALLY!!” Chris squealed, before wrapping an arm around each of their necks and hugging them tightly “Finally, finally, finally!” he said, and Buck and Eddie both laughed.

“Does this mean we’re okay again, kid?” Eddie asked. He had been concerned that Chris would never forgive him after he had yelled at him at the hospital. 

It took all of two seconds for Chris to answer. “Yeah, Dad. Everything’s okay now that you and Buck are back together again.” Chris grinned, and Buck passed Chris to Eddie, giving the two their special moment before saying,

“Now Chris. I need to ask you something, and you need to be completely honest with me alright?” Buck asked in mock seriousness, earning a nod from Chris.

“Have you eaten anything besides takeout the last two months that I’ve been gone? Because we both know your father is a terrible cook, and I’m deeply concerned for your health.” Buck said, face serious before breaking out into a shit-eating grin after Eddie sent him a glare.

“Nope.” Chris grinned. “Nothing but takeout.”

“Hey!” Eddie said, putting Chris down. “I made pasta!”

“And you burnt it.” Chris counters, causing Buck to laugh.

“I’ll whip something up,” Buck said, pulling Eddie in for a kiss before walking to the kitchen, and 15 minutes later, they all sat at the table, eating grilled cheese sandwiches, and at that moment, Eddie was hit with such an overwhelming sense of rightness that it took the breath out of his lungs, and one look up at Buck told him that he was feeling the same. 

“Can we watch Finding Nemo?” Chris asks.

And because Buck was physically incapable of saying no to Christopher Diaz, the three find themselves on the couch, watching Finding Nemo, a bowl of popcorn between them, Eddie running a hand through the curls at the nape of Buck’s neck, and Buck leaning into the touch he had craved for months.

It was about an hour into the movie when Eddie noticed Chris had dozed off, and only looked up from his son’s sleeping face when he felt a weight land on his shoulder, shifting his gaze to find sleepy blue eyes looking up at him.

“Hey.” Buck smiled softly.

“Hey,” Eddie repeated. “Tired?”

“Mmm-hmm.” Buck mumbled sleepily. 

“Go ahead and close your eyes, Ev. I’m not going anywhere.” Eddie chuckled softly.

“Promise?” Buck asked, already half-asleep.

“Yeah, I promise.” Eddie replied, and as if that were all the reassurance he needed, Buck had immediately fallen asleep.

And the last thing Eddie thought before falling asleep himself was

Yeah. This could be my forever.

And he was more than okay with that.

Four months later

Eddie Diaz bought Evan Buckley a ring the day after he had forgiven him. He just… was waiting for the perfect time to propose. He couldn’t do it right away because despite how Buck had made it clear he had forgiven him, they still needed to work through the events of those two months.

There were several instances where Eddie thought he would propose, but things had just gotten in the way. They had to file paperwork with Bobby after they had told him that they were dating, then, the chaos of Buck moving in had taken up every free moment that they had in between shifts. But Eddie knew that he had wanted to wait for that perfect moment.

Which led to today, Eddie sitting in the bunkroom, hearing the laughter of his boyfriend, where he was making lunch with Bobby upstairs as he turned the ring box over and over in his hand, snapping the ring box open and shut.

He had woken up in the morning to see Buck still asleep on his chest, the sun casting him in a golden glow, and it just felt right. 

Today was the day.

And it was only by coincidence that on that day, Bobby had invited the entire 118’s extended family over for lunch at the end of their shift, so Chris and Maddie would be there too.

Their whole family would be there, and Eddie knew that that was how Buck would want it, their whole little found family being there to witness the start of the rest of their lives.

Eddie had been so deep in his reverie that he didn’t notice Hen had entered the bunkroom until he heard her gasp and her whisper-scream of “ Holy shit!”

Eddie’s eyes flew up to meet Hen’s, seeing her eyes wide and mouth dropped in shock before she crossed the rest of the way to Eddie, plopping down beside him on the bed.

“ Edmundo Diaz. Is that what I think it is?!”

“Yes. But please be quiet. I don’t want anyone else to overhear.” he whispered back, and Hen nodded.

“Eddie. Holy shit,” she repeated, and Eddie smiled at her.

“Yeah.” he chuckled. 

“How long have you had this?!” she asked.

“Since the day after Buck forgave me for Ana,” Eddie answered, and Hen looked up at him.

“So why have you waited so long?” Hen asked softly.

“We had so much to work through, and stuff kept coming up. Besides, I wanted to wait for the perfect moment. I wanted to wait for the day that I’d just wake up and know. ” Eddie said.

“And that’s today?” Hen asked.

“Yeah. That’s today. The whole family’s going to be here. I’m gonna do it right after lunch.” Eddie chuckled softly.

“I’m excited for you, Eddie. Truly. I’m so happy for you two. It’s been such a long road. And you deserve it.”

“Thanks, Hen,” he said, pulling her into a hug.

“No problem, Eddie. Now let’s go get you engaged,” she said, getting up.

Eddie got up to follow her but paused. “Hey Hen, wait. Can I ask you something?” he asked.

“Of course. What is it?”

Eddie fiddled with the ring box in his hand before glancing back up at her. “Buck and I  obviously haven’t talked about who’s all going to be in the wedding, but Chris will probably be the ringbearer. But I wanted to ask you if you’d be my best man… or woman, I guess.” Eddie chuckled. “It’s because of you and our talk in the hospital that day after Buck’s embolism that I finally pulled my head out of my ass and followed my heart, and I can’t imagine anyone else standing beside me when I marry Buck. So will you?” Eddie asked softly, looking up from his hands to find Hen in tears before pulling him into one of her bone-crushing hugs.

“Nothing would make me happier,” she said.

Lunch had been another typical 118 gatherings, and there had been several moments throughout the course of the meal where Eddie had looked over at Buck and was taken aback by how much he loved him. 

It was on the fifth glance that he noticed that Athena was looking at him suspiciously.

Oh, she 100% knew what Eddie was about to do. Another glance in her direction, and Eddie saw a smirk on her face, looking him up and down like she could see the box that was currently burning a hole through the pocket in Eddie’s jacket. She nodded, as if to say ‘ Go ahead, do it.’

The group had started milling about the loft when Eddie spoke up,

“Can I have everyone’s attention please?” Eddie asked, and suddenly, everyone’s eyes were on him, and from his vantage point he could see Hen and Athena whispering furiously before they turned their attention to him with the rest of the group.

“When I first moved to LA with Christopher, I never expected to find the family I found in the 118. When I graduated from the Academy, I was about to join Station 6, but Bobby had fought hard for me to come to the 118.” Eddie paused, “It’s funny how one decision could change your entire life. If Bobby hadn’t been as insistent as he was, I never would have met any of you.” He smiled at the group, “But more than that, I never would have met my best friend.” he said, turning to Buck.

“I never told you this, but when Bobby had called me to convince me to come to the 118, he had told me about one of the firefighters on his team. He told me how he was a little bit reckless. And how he could be a little bit of an idiot sometimes,” Eddie says, pausing as everyone around him chuckles. “But how he was a heart of gold. And said that if I came, and he partnered us together, how he thought we could be something great. And he had no idea how right he was.”

“I never expected us to become what we are. Especially after that icy reception I got when we first met.” he laughed, and Buck chuckled wetly. “But then we got in that ambulance together, and that patient had a live grenade in his leg. And when I told you afterward that you can have my back any day, I meant it. And when I look back at that day, I think that was the moment when I started falling in love with you.” Eddie said, and as he took his eyes off Buck for the first time, he could see everyone waiting with bated breath. 

Maddie and Karen had their hands over their mouths. 

Chim and Hen were grinning.

Bobby had tears in his eyes.

Athena was crying.

They all knew what was about to happen, and when he looked back at Buck, he was crying too.

“I never expected to find someone who loved my son as much as I do. Who would risk their lives to ensure he came home safe like you did the day of the tsunami, Buck. And I found that in you. You would give your own life if it meant that Chris and I came home to one another, you’ve proved that a thousand times over now.”

“With the jobs we have, we don’t have the luxury of knowing that we’ll have tomorrow. You and I have learned that the hard way. And Buck…” Eddie paused, “Evan… I don’t want you to go another day thinking that I don’t love you with everything I have, everything that I am. Because I do. I love you. I love you just as you are, and you’ll never have to change yourself for me, or for Christopher to love you. Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone, especially to you and me. These last couple of years have proved that . So I don’t want to spend another moment without you, Ev, and I hope that I won’t have to.” he said, and in that moment, no one existed but himself and Buck as he got down on one knee, pulling the ring box out of his pocket and opening it to reveal the silver band he had chosen. “There’s no Eddie Diaz without Evan Buckley, and there hasn’t been since the day I walked into the 118. So Buck…” Eddie said, blinking away tears only to look up to find tears streaming down Buck’s face. “Will you marry me?” he asked, looking into baby blue eyes bright with tears.

“Yes,” Buck whispered, and Eddie grinned, standing up and putting the ring on his finger before pulling him into a searing kiss, everyone erupting to cheers around them.

They separated, Eddie looking into Buck’s eyes and finding adoration, love, and happiness.

“I love you,” Buck said, hugging him tightly.

“I love you too, Buck.” Eddie chuckled wetly, before they felt Chris at their side, burrowing his way into their hug, Eddie and Buck each dropping an arm to pull him in.

The rest of the day was spent celebrating with their family, Bobby and Athena constantly pulling Buck in for hugs, whispering to him that they were so proud of the man that he had become and so happy that he had finally found the love of his life after years of searching.

Maddie had given Eddie the shovel talk before pulling him into a hug and saying “Welcome to the family, Eddie.”

Christopher had called Buck Dad for the first time, and Buck had cried.

Eddie received at least ten “I told you so’s” from Hen.

Tomorrow may not be promised to anyone.

But Eddie Diaz was marrying Evan Buckley, and Buck, Eddie, and Christopher were officially becoming a family.

And that’s what mattered.