Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Son, I'm telling you. There are no aliens!" I've tried to be patient with my son, Dib. But, he can't seem to get aliens out of his mind, and always gets frustrated with me when I try to convince him to focus on something else in his life. Like school, or the type of work I do.

"Yes there are, dad! One day, you'll open your eyes, I swear it! You don't believe me now, but you'll believe me soon. You'll all believe me!" Dib bitterly spits out, glaring up at me. "Can you two shut up!? It's ten o'clock at night, and I'm trying to sleep for once because I have testing tomorrow! SHUT UP!" Gazlene, my daughter, opens her door and yells before slamming it closed again.

"What have I told you about slamming doors on my house!?" I yell back, but there's no response. "I've tried my hardest to be patient with your strange obsession with the supernatural or the paranormal or whatever, but I'm starting to get fed up. You need to focus on more important things in life, things a twelve year old boy should be focusing on." Dib rolls his eyes, obviously shutting me out again.

"I'm just gonna go to bed, I'm done talking to you. You're obviously too close-minded to even bother listening to what I have to say. Just you wait and see, dad." He makes his way to his room with that same expression he always wears with me, disappointment and annoyance. I have no idea what to do with Dib.

It's not that I'm trying to anger him. He just always marches into dangerous situations for the sake of this hyperfixation of his. Even before the boy could talk, he was obsessed. Granted, he was a late bloomer when it came to talking. I don't know, I suppose I just want him safe. But I can't convince him that I'm not trying to shoot down his interests.

Perhaps I'm thinking too much. Gaz has the right idea about going to bed right now, maybe I can think of a better way to talk to him tomorrow after work. I go up to my office space where my bed also is, and I know that I should sleep. Perhaps, just a little more work needs to be done though. I'll sleep in ten minutes.

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I had to leave work early due to a chemical explosion in the lab, but I don't mind too much. Well, early as in eight o'clock at night rather than midnight. It gives me time to grab some groceries, as our fridge is beginning to empty. Foodio-3000 gets angry at me after a while of not having much food in the house, so I'll spare myself his lecture.

After getting the necessary groceries I need for the household, I start to make my way back home. It's dangerous to walk around this city much at night, especially someone as well known as me. I usually have a disguise on when I'm in public though, so I'm not too worried about it. It's pouring down rain too, so I doubt that anyone would be out this late in such horrific weather.

That was, until I heard the sound of bags rustling quite aggressively. With the rain, it's hard to tell where it's coming from. I hear it more, as well as a frustrated yell. "GIR! THESE BAGS ARE USELESS!" They sound like a child. I'm finally able to locate the sounds of distress, and I see a child in pink with plastic bags all over them, as well as a strange green dog making various unintelligible noises.

"Hello? Are you alright?" I call out, and the small figure flinches and flees inside of a wet old cardboard box. The green dog looks up and stares at me though, not hiding with the child. "HI TALL MAN!" It can talk!? "GIR! GET UNDER HERE!" A gloved hand reaches out of the box and drags the dog, apparently named "Gir," inside too.

"I'm not here to hurt you! Are you lost?" The child…growls? The box tilts up a tiny bit, and strange pink eyes glare up at me. A possible eye condition? "Go away!! You saw nothing, I'll erase your memory!!" I step back a little, perhaps my height and voice is making them mistake me for a threat. "It's okay! I'm here to help. My name is Professor Membrane." They growl once more, and metallic spikes shoot out in front of me. "Zim does not care for your name, human!"

Human? No, it couldn't be an… I shake my head and reach into a grocery bag to pull out a piece of candy I was originally saving for Gaz. I'll buy her more later, perhaps I could entice the little thing to calm down with this. They sniff loudly. "What is that? Some sort of weapon?" I shake my head. "It's uh, it's sweet. Just try it, you'll probably like it." They look at me with doubt, and swipe the bar out of my hand swifty.

They practically rip open the wrapper and chomp it down, they must've not eaten in a while. "Ugh, that trip was so long! I haven't eaten anything in weeks!" I can tell, their arms are skinny and lanky. "How far was your trip?" Finishing the candy, they look at me once more. "Six months." Surprisingly, the snack seems to have made them somewhat docile.

"That's a really long way. Why are you out here in the rain with plastic bags all over you?" They growl. "This weather!! It rains acid!! How are you not burning too!?" I see, perhaps they're allergic to some of the pollutants? "It's not acid, it's water. I suppose it's quite toxic though, considering the pollution. I've been working on a solution for that, though!" I quickly realize I'm rambling, so I try to quiet down again.

"Zim is grateful for the substance you have provided. Unfortunately, you must die now, or you'll turn me in to the planet's authorities." They lift the box more and is pointing their strange metal spider legs at me again. "Wait wait, I won't turn you in! I can get you out of this rain for the night, I have more food to provide too if you need it." They're silent, and glare at me in doubt.

"My house is warm, dry, with water that is properly clean so perhaps the pollutants won't hurt you. You can leave whenever you want, I won't keep you there if you don't want to be there." The dog squeals and flaps its arms. "OoOOOoooOo!! I wanna goooo! Tall man has candy!!" The child hums, contemplating whether they should come with me or not. "Fine."

As they scramble to get out of the box, I start speaking again. "I wonder where your parents are. Did you run away from home? Did you go on that six month trip all by yourself?" Finally, they get the box off of them and their dog under control. I can't believe what I see under the clear plastic bags. "Zim knows nothing about these 'parents.' And yes, I came here all by myself! Unless you count GIR."

"You're…you're-!" They cackle loudly. "Oh yes, Zim is a superior Irken! Are you not amazed?" Their voice has a vibrato behind it, almost like a strange accent. Oh dear, this makes things much more complicated. The plastic bags seem to not be doing much good anymore, as I see steam coming off of the creature. "Ugh! Stupid germ water…"

"Here, you can take my coat. Water doesn't burn humans." I hastily remove my rain coat and drape it over the tiny green child, much to their surprise. "You…are oddly calm for witnessing the amazingness of the best Irken elite, Zim." I glance down at them. "You call yourself that a lot, is that your name? Zim?" I'm panicking, very much panicking, I just don't want to startle them further. "Yes! Zim is Zim's name. This is my assistant, GIR." The little dog waves, I assume it's some sort of robot perhaps?

"So uh…how did you end up here?" I decide to make some small talk to fill in the short-lived frightening silence. "By voot, of course!" I raise an eyebrow in confusion. "Ugh, a spaceship!" Ah I see. "Stupid thing lost signal of my location, so I dumped it." They shrug. "I'll have a new one built soon, one far more superior!" I rub my chin. "Couldn't you have just kept your uh, 'voot' and repaired it instead?"

The alien child glares at me. "DO NOT QUESTION THE WAYS OF ZIM, FILTHY HUMAN!" I flinch back, afraid that they'll attack me again. "Sorry, sorry. Um…so, now that I know you're an alien, I think you should probably leave by the morning. Before my son wakes up." They flick an antennae towards me. "Your son?" They ponder for a moment. "Oh! A human smeet, of course. What's there to worry about?"

"You see, he's uh…pretty obsessed with your type of people. I don't want him trying to do anything to you." I know that they would probably be a danger to Dib too. But, to be honest, I feel like Dib is more of a danger to Zim that they would be to him. "Pah! As if a mere smeet could overpower the great Zim. I laugh at your underestimation! HAHAHA!" They verbally laugh with that statement, making me crack a smile. They're charming.

"What are you here on Earth for? I have many questions that I'd love to know some answers to!" Zim waves a dismissive hand. "That information is classified, and none of your business." So they're still not friendly enough with me to tell me their motives. Oh well, hopefully they leave soon. An alien on Earth would cause quite the scandal, and they should leave as soon as possible.

"ARE WE THERE YEEEEET??" The robot dog flaps its arms with a wide smile. "Yes, it's right here." I didn't even realize that we were at my door until it was right in front of me. I gesture for the alien and their robot to be quiet as I silently open the door. Hopefully, my kids should be in their rooms by now and uninterested in coming out. That, or Dib's out somewhere doing science-knows-what.

"Where will Zim slumber for the night? My back aches from sitting for so long, and now I wish to lie down." Zim mutters, they're so tiny that I have to crank my neck down pretty far to look at them properly. "You can sleep in my room tonight, I have spare blankets and pillows for you to set up on the floor. My kids never come into my room, so you'll be undetected there."

"Blehh, not an ideal resting area, but it will do." I guide them up and unlock my door, letting them step inside. "Oh wow! So much machinery! So clean! And here I thought Earth seemed primitive." I let out a chuckle. "Yes, well, I'm considered the smartest man in the world, I have some better technology and hygiene." I don't mean to brag, but it's true. "Aha! I got lucky with my encounter with you then, I don't have to stay in FFFFFILTH."

"Of course not. Here's a comforter and some pillows and blankets. Feel free to set it up anywhere." I have a large room, and they're so small, they could probably fit anywhere. "You're still suspicious, so I may not get much real sleep tonight." Same here. "You never answered me, why are you so calm?" I sigh. "I don't know either. Now then, alien child. I have some questions for you."

Chapter Text

"DAD! DAD! THERE'S AN ALIEN IN THE HOUSE!" My son wakes me, I tiredly get up to check the door. "Son, there are no-" Then I hear it. "GIVE IT BACK, STINK BEAST! IT'S MINE!" Oh right, Zim. I had completely forgotten about them last night in my drowsiness. ""See! I told you, I told you aliens were real!" Zim then shouts. "INSOLENT FOOL BOY!"

I get in between them, holding them both back to make sure neither of them would harm the other. "Dib, it's okay! They're not here to harm you." Zim sticks their tongue out at my son, it almost looks worm-like. "It's an ALIEN, it's probably here to eat my brains or something!" That's zombies or…whatever, I need to prioritize their safety. "They're just here for a place to stay until they can build another ship to get back home, then they'll leave. Calm down, please."

"Calm down? CALM DOWN? There is a goddamn alien in your house and you're just- wait. You're not denying their alienness?" I shake my head. "You…you believe me?" I nod. "Yes, son. Zim is an alien. Also, they're not an it. That's extremely rude." Dib blinks at me a few times before blubbering out what I assume are supposed to be words. "GAZ! GAZ, COME HERE! THERE'S AN ALIEN AND DAD BELIEVES ME!"

Poor Gazlene, she's probably trying to sleep in a little longer. After all, it is six in the morning. "SHUT UP DIB, I DON'T CARE!" She shouts from her room, I knew it. "These are your smeets? They're so aggressive. Are they defects?" I turned to him. "Defects? Not at all! They're perfectly normal children, just a little…eccentric. And hyperactive. And yes, aggressive. But they're perfectly normal!" Zim shrugs at me, their huge pink eyes staring at me in awe.

"Yes? Is something wrong?" Zim waves their antennae at me. "You're tall, for a human. You're the tallest one I've met. Are you the planet's leader?" I shake my head. "I'm quite famous, but by no means am I the leader! Are your leaders dictated by height?" They nod. "My Tallest are very tall, a little taller than you! You earn my respect, tall man." I laugh out loud. "I already told you, you can call me Membrane." They nod. "Okay, Membrane"

"Oh! I forgot to ask this last night. Not that it's important, but are you a boy or a girl? I'm not sure what to refer to you as." Their antennae perk up at me. "Oh! Zim is neither male nor female, such a concept does not exist on Irk. We are all the same sex." Fascinating, noted! "So is what I've been calling you alright? Just using neutral pronouns?" They nod. "Yes, that would make things the simplest for Zim." I hear Dib return, his trench coat on. "I'll expose you to the world, and my dad and I will be the best paranormal investigators in the world!"

"Son…I'm not going to expose Zim." Dib lets out some sort of noise of bewilderment. "What!? But he's an alien, right here! You could finally answer the question of if aliens are real!" I sigh. "Why don't we just…leave them alone? Zim's kind are…probably similar to us in the way that they're just trying to live their life without some boy trying to invade their space." Dib rolls his eyes, an expected response. He definitely inherited his mother and I's stubbornness, nothing can really make us change our ways.

"But- but-! UGH! You never listen to me! If I expose Zim, I could finally be loved and respected by everyone! No one would laugh at me, or call me crazy." I give him a sympathetic look, which he apparently takes as offensive. "Whatever. I'm going to school, we'll keep talking about this when I get home!" He slams the door and walks out, right, school. I need to go wake Gaz up to get her ready. "What is 'skool'?" Zim too, what am I going to do with them?

"It's a place for learning, every child must go." Zim nods. "Like the academy back at home? Where you learn about your own planet and how to conquer others?" I wave a hand side to side. "Sort of? Anyway, I also forgot to ask this last night as I was more interested in Irk itself at the time. How old are you?" Zim counts on their six fingers for a moment before responding. "I am twelve years old." Same age as my children!

"Ah, splendid! Erm, if we're going to have you stay here, you need a disguise for when none of us are home. I have work soon, and I can't leave you home alone, so you must come with me." Zim looks at me doubtfully. "Fine! But at least let me make my own disguise, I've studied you all good enough to create the perfect disguise!" They reach into what they called their PAK, and grab some sort of orb. "Behold!"

…I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't this. "You look the exact same, just with a wig and contacts." They nod. "Yes, and inferior to my irken form! Really, you humans are UGLY!" I decided not to comment on the insult. "Well, Zim. Let's go then. I suppose my coworkers won't notice. I could say you look like this because…hmm." Zim raised their hand. "Oh, oh! A skin condition! I have a terrible skin condition!" So they are aware of their abnormal green color. “Well, let’s go then. I’m already behind schedule.” Zim nods and follows me out to the car.

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“Membrane, I’m hungry! What kind of snacks do you have around here?” Zim has been…a pain to work with. They’re extremely intelligent, but they’re still a child, so it’s hard to keep them under control. Luckily, my coworkers haven’t said anything about Zim yet, I assume they want to stay out of whatever shenanigans this one comes up with. Or so I thought… “Professor, who’s this adorable little guy? Is this one of Dib’s friends?” I shake my head. “Oh no, they’re uh…” How do I explain this? “I’m an orphan child, and the Professor is letting me stay with him for a while until I can find a good home to go to. He’s just fostering me at the moment.”

What an intelligent little creature! “I happen to be born with this terrible skin condition, so nobody wants me! The Professor is so kind and gracious!” Now they’re exaggerating this. “Yes yes, I must get back to work now. No more questions please.” I try to focus once more on what I was originally doing, and Zim stares. “You owe me one, Membrane. Specifically a snack.” I sigh.

“Fine, here. Take some money and buy yourself something from the vending machine over there. There’s drinks and snacks galore." They happily hop down from their stool and run to the vending machine. I didn't even think about how they might not know how to use the vending machine, but surprisingly, they did it perfectly. "How do you know how to use a vending machine?" They tilt their head. "We have them back on Irk, and plenty of other planets too." Interesting.

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Once we get home, they rip off their contacts and wig, sitting down on our couch with a groan. "My eyes itch! Aughh!!" I chuckle to myself. "You were a good help at the lab today, thank you, Zim. You're a very smart little creature." They smile pridefully. "Of course! I'm-" I hear footsteps come down, it's Dib. "Ah, Dib! Zim and I are home!" He huffs. "I heard. Zim's annoying voice is kind of hard not to hear." I see he still has some sort of grudge.

“Your head is annoying, Dib-stink. Change it, now.” Zim demands. “I can’t change the size of my head, it’s not even that big!” Dib argues back. “Alright children, how about some dinner?” Dib looks up at me while Zim practically drools. “Dinner? You never make dinner. You always just bring home microwavables.” I shrug and chuckle. “Well, there’s a first time for everything. How hard can it be?”

…It’s harder than I thought. I ended up somehow both undercooking the meat and burning it at the same time. “It’s okay dad, we can just microwave something again.” Zim hops up on a stool next to me by the counter. “Zim will do it! You humans are so stupid! Ugh, this technology is awful.” Zim muttered to themself. “You know how to cook?” Zim nods, grabbing a pan and looking at the labels on the meat. “Of course I do! Every smeet must learn how to make sustenance for themselves!”

“Impressive! You’re only twelve and know how to cook.” Dib groans and rolls his eyes at my praise for Zim. “I’m not eating whatever they make, it’s probably gonna be poisoned. He walks to the fridge and grabs a hot pocket. “I’m gonna make myself something.” That poor, paranoid child. Though, I suppose it’s not completely unreasonable to not trust an alien. I wonder if they could make our type of food.

“And it’s done! Behold Zim’s glorious creation!” Zim shouts with joy, setting plates down for all of us. “Sit, sit humans! Eat Zim’s masterpiece!” I grab a fork and anxiously stare at my plate. “Why aren’t you eating it? ARE YOU INSULTING ZIM!?” Gaz sticks her fork in her food. “No, dad just doesn’t like eating in front of people. It’s some sort of social anxiety thing.” I start to sweat at Gaz revealing such an embarrassing fact about me. “Oh, I see. Zim understands! I do not like to eat in front of others either.”

“Thank you, Zim. I’m sure it’s very good, but-” Just as I say that, my daughter begins choking on her food. “Well, what do you think?” She continues to hack, but forces a smile. “I-It’s great, I love it, I totally don’t want to vomit right now!” She gags. “Well good, vomit is extremely disgusting! Absolutely filthy and unhygienic!” I look at Zim curiously, Gaz sneaking a napkin to her side and spitting out the food. “You don’t happen to like germs, do you?” They shake their head.

“Germs are dangerous! Tiny microscopic enemies…” I laugh out loud. “Yes, my wife was quite the mysophobic.” Both of my children look at me in a confused way. “Irrationally afraid of germs, what you may call a ‘germaphobe’.” Zim nods. “But it’s not irrational! They could kill us all!” I laugh more. “Indeed they can.” I feel bad for feeding their phobia, but they’re not wrong either.

“By the way, apologies for not knowing how to cook, Gaz. Your mother did all of the cooking.” Gaz raises an eyebrow at me. “Second time today.” What? “Second time you mentioned mom in a row. Normally you refuse to talk about her. You’re even shaking now.” Oh. It appears that I am. “I’m sorry, Gaz. I’m alright. I guess this little creature reminds me of her personality a little.” Zim smiles. “She must have been a remarkable woman then to be similar to the likes of ZIM! ALSO I AM TIRED!” They suddenly shout, getting away from the table. “I must sleep now! Goodnight humans!” I blink. “Yes, uh, goodnight Zim.”

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“I have successfully infiltrated a human home, the leader of Earth trusts me.” I smirk while explaining. “It was easy! Act like a human smeet and make the leader feel bad for me! It went off without a hitch.” I cackle to myself. “Good work, Zim. Do they suspect anything?” My Tallest Purple replies. “Not the large one or his younger smeet. The older smeet is wary of me though, and aggressive. I will have to be careful to not let anything slip to him.” My Tallest Red nods. “Keep fooling them, update us tomorrow. Every single day.” I salute and wiggle my antennae. “Yes, my Tallest.”

Chapter Text

Phase Two of my plan is going smoothly. I've successfully infiltrated the school and no one is even batting an eye at my strange appearance, much to Dib's dismay. "I'm telling you, ZIM! IS! AN! ALIEN!" He shouts in the middle of the playground. "Sit down and stop yapping about Zim being an alien!" Another human child yells. We're currently in a period of time called "recess," and it's my favorite time of day. I get to watch Dib suffer at the hands of what are called "bullies" who will tease him and make fun of his weirdness. It's satisfying to watch someone who hates me so much suffer. His underwear getting stretched and pulled over his head, getting called hilarious names, all of the sort.

Seeing the human child in misery is always entertaining, but it's almost pathetic at this point. Dib barely defends himself, and just kind of takes it. That is, until his scary sister comes along. "HEY YOU!" She yells towards the bullies. I wish I had snacks so I can watch the beat down. "Only I get to bully my brother! Get lost!" She looks pretty peeved, this is also fun. "What are you gonna do about it, little girl?” She growls and runs to him, kicking him in the shins pretty hard. She goes to the other and knees him between the legs, making them both keel over. She goes over to the Dib and helps him on his feet. “Thanks, Gaz. But I could've handled myself.” Gaz scoffs. “Clearly not, I just had to save your butt. Again. No help from Zim.”

“I was moral support!” I smile and lean back on the bench, feeling hungry even after lunch. There's no way I'm eating that slop. “Whatever, just leave me alone.” Dib walks away, much to the dismay of Gaz. “You're welcome, jerk!” She huffs and kicks a nearby rock. “Your brother doesn’t seem very grateful.” Gaz loudly laughs, very disturbingly. “No kidding! He doesn't appreciate ANYTHING I do for him! Neither does dad! The only thing Dib cares about is your stupid alienness, and all dad cares about is Dib! He doesn't even care about me.” Gaz suddenly snaps, it startles me if I'll be honest. If there's one human I fear, it's Gaz.

“Are…you okay?” I stupidly ask. What am I thinking? I don't care about how she feels. “Yes, I'm fine!” She clearly lies, her voice still being raised. She's shaking, her breaths huffed in frustration. “Erm…you can talk to Zim. Zim is a very good listener!” Gaz scoffs and turns away, and we sit in silence. The silence is uncomfortable, and I fight the urge to scream something random in order to stop the silence. “Dad cares more about Dib than me.” She finally speaks. “Dib's the first clone of dad, I'm only a backup plan in case Dib ends up as a failure. Dad never pays any attention to me despite me being so much better than Dib.”

“Dib is a clone? You are a clone? I thought humans reproduced sexually.” Gaz nods. “We do, but not dad. Dad's asexual, so he doesn't like sex. Mom was also infertile, so there was no way they could have kids anyway. So we were cloned instead. Praise to science, I guess.” I listen, surprised I haven't interrupted at all. “So…where is your female parental unit?” Gaz is quiet for a moment. “...She died. A long time ago. She died before Dib and I could ever get to know her. I had just been created, and Dib was about two years old.” I'm not sure why, but my squeedly-spooch was tied in a knot, figuratively of course. “Zim…understands, somewhat.” Gaz looks at me curiously. “Yeah, what were your weird alien parents like?”

“Zim had no parents. I was cloned, just like you. Zim does not understand familial affection, the closest I have is worship and praise for my leaders.” Gaz hums and sits alongside me after she quit pacing while talking. “You have leaders? Cool. What are they like?” I shrug. “Classified information.” Gaz smirks. “Come on, you can't just tell me you have leaders and expect me to not ask about them! Come on, who are they? Are they super scary?” I turn away, crossing my arms. “No! I'm not telling you!” Gaz chuckles and stares at me with an evil look. “I'll just have to torture you then.” Suddenly, she wiggles her fingers on my belly, making me react in almost a feral way, screaming with uncontrollable laughter. “So aliens are ticklish!”

“STOP! STOP! ZIM WILL NEVER TELL YOU! UNHAND ZIM!” She continues, I attempt to cover my belly to block her, it fails. “STOP OR I WILL KILL YOU!” I threaten, but she continues. I pull out my PAK legs and stop just before I hit her, she finally releases me. “Holy crap, okay, jeez!” I catch my breath, keeping my eyes wide open to breathe. “Anyway…” Gaz begins, “Sorry for dumping so much on you, I don't know why I did that.” I shrug, I'm not sure why she told me either. I'm bad at keeping secrets unless directly ordered by the Tallest, so I'm likely to spill. “It's fine, Zim will allow it.” Gaz smiles for the first time around me. “You know, you're actually not the worst. You're pretty cool.”

“I'll say!” A new voice calls out. A boy with curly ginger hair runs towards me, wearing a shirt with a rainbow on it. “I didn't know you were into robotics so much that your backpack had robot spider legs in them! How do you fit that in with all of your school stuff?” Who is this kid, and why is he talking to me? “Um, who are you?” I allow my thoughts to slip out. “My name's Keef! Wow, I actually worked up the courage to talk to the new kid! And apparently he's so cool he can even startle Gaz!” Gaz turns a little pale. “I wasn't startled. They just caught me by surprise. Also, Zim's a they, not a he.” Keef covers his mouth. “I'm so sorry! I didn't know!” I shrug. “It's fine, I don't care for your weird labels.”

“So where are you from? I heard you're new!” I try to think of a good lie. According to my American geography, we are currently in Detroit, Michigan. So somewhere else would be ideal. Oh, I know! “I'm from Ohio. Columbus. My parents kicked me out, and the Professor was kind enough to let me stay with him and his kids for the time being.” I feel like that was a pretty good lie! I'm so cool! “Wow, that's rough. I'm glad Professor Membrane let you in though! Being homeless sucks.” He says, as if speaking from experience. “My parents kicked me out too, so I'm living with my aunt and uncle. They're pretty cool.” I don't care, but I let him talk as I glance at Gaz. Then, the bell rings to go back to class. “Time to go, dorks.” I nod and follow her, Keef following shortly behind.

Chapter Text

I can't believe that Zim has managed to brainwash my dad, sister, and even my classmates into believing they're a good person! They're evil, and I know it. They're gonna try to take over the Earth, but I won't let that happen, I'll stop them at whatever cost! I've been following them for a while, trying to dig up any dirt on them whatsoever, but no! They've been a little goody two-shoes to everyone around them, but I'm not falling for it. I grab my phone from my pocket and start recording my voice to post later to the Swollen Eyeballs. “This is Dib Membrane, one month into investigating Zim, the alien who infiltrated not only my planet, but my home and my family!”

I continue on, feeling my blood boil at the sight of them. “They managed to brainwash my sister into accepting Zim as a member of our family, but I will never let that happen. I don't have any proof that they're evil yet, but I will! Soon, I'll-” My head suddenly gets hit, and I fall over. I'm still conscious, but I'm in a lot of pain. “The insane Membrane is talking to herself again! What a freak.” I hear Jessica and a few other girls laugh behind me. I put my hand up to my temple, it's bleeding. I look down at the ground, there's a bloodied sharp rock. I look now at Jessica, she has more rocks. “Your freaky little sister is sick at home, so she can't protect you now!”

“What the heck is your problem!? You could've seriously hurt me!” I yell at her, angry that she's still bothering me even into middle school. “What, are you gonna cry and run to your mommy? Oh wait, I forgot. You don't even have one. Maybe living with your dad is the reason you're so delusional that you think you're a boy now.” My breath starts to get heavier, and I stand up. “What's wrong, Deborah? Feeling bad that you're the embarrassment of your family? If I was your father, I would've had you aborted.” My vision goes red, and I lunge at her. I don't care if I get in trouble, I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. “GET OFF OF ME, FREAK!” I don't get off of her, instead, I land a punch right to her pale, crooked nose.

I start to hear chants as other kids surround us, yelling at us to fight. I can barely hear them though, my vision tunnels as I continue beating on her face. I hate Jessica, I hate her stupid ugly face, I hate her friends, I hate my classmates, I hate my school, I hate everyone. I wish they would all just disappear! “MY NAME IS DIB MEMBRANE! I AM A TWELVE YEAR OLD BOY, AND MY FATHER LOVES ME, DAMN IT!” I scream as my hands go to her thin neck now, squeezing tightly. No one stops me, they only encourage Jessica to get up and beat me down too, but I'm stronger than her. She's weak, everyone here is weak. I wish everyone disappeared, I wish everyone would die. I see a flash of green, pink, and black.

I'm on the cement ground, being dragged then pinned by none other than Zim. “GET OFF OF ME!” I scream as I thrash under them, Zim then wraps their arms and legs around me, acting as some sort of rope around my body and keeping me in place. “GET AWAY! I'LL KILL YOU, ZIM!” Zim doesn't loosen up at all, instead, they start to heat up. I didn't even notice how cold their skin normally is, but it's heating up. I hear a small buzzing, it's their antenna under their wig, that must be heating them up. It's a strangely comforting warmth, it reminds me of someone. It reminds me of mom. It's weird, I don't even remember my mom very vividly, but I remember her warmth when she held me as a baby.

“Is the Dib no longer aggressive?” I'm snapped out of my trance, and remember who's the one holding me. I finally manage to shove them off of me. “Get away from me, you alien scum!” Zim looks at me, unimpressed. “At least you are no longer angry enough to beat a human child. You're welcome, ungrateful brat!” My face heats up in unbearable anger. “I didn't ask for your help! And frankly, it didn't help!” I lie, it did help. I don't feel like ripping out Jessica's throat anymore. “Gaz was right, you really are ungrateful for the things people do for you.” Zim mutters, and I grab their wrist. “Let go!” I shake my head. “How did you do that!?” That makes them pause. “What?” I clarify, “How did you almost perfectly recreate what mom felt like?”

“I have no idea what you're talking about, Zim simply provided body heat humans so desperately crave, which calms them down. I don't know anything about your female parental unit. Now quit your yapping and go away. Zim no longer cares.” I pause now. “Wait, you cared?” This makes Zim flinch. “No! Why would I care about a pathetic little human family, let alone a paranoid boy that wants me dead?” I'm speechless. They cared. They actually cared enough to stop me from killing Jessica. “Wait, you think I'm a boy?” This confuses Zim as they raise a non-existent eyebrow at me. “Duh, are you not a boy?” I stammer, “I-I am! It's just…no one else seems to think so. They all think I'm a girl.”

“That's stupid! Why would they think you're a girl? You are obviously a human boy from what my research shows! Your voice is a little squeaky, and your face is round, but I chalked that up to you being a young boy who hasn't hit what's called ‘puberty’ yet.” I fall completely silent. The only people who have acknowledged that I'm a boy have been dad and Gaz. It shocks me that an alien knew I was a boy just by looking at me. “Your eyes are leaking, is that normal for humans or are you broken?” Huh? Oh, I'm crying a little. I wipe my eyes and put on a stern face. “If you were a human, you'd know. But I guess aliens don't feel human emotions, because you're monsters.”

“Zim is confused! Why does it seem like one moment, you don't mind me, then the next you hate me again?” I huff. “Because you're a monster from space here to take over and destroy my planet. I'm onto you, I'll never let you have world domination.” I walk away, I'm done speaking with them. What I leave out, is that at this point, I don't really give a crap about the humans here. If they all died tomorrow, I wouldn't care. “DIB MEMBRANE TO THE OFFICE NOW.” I hear a lady speak over the intercom. Crap, I'm so dead!

Chapter Text

It's been about a month since Zim moved in with us. Dib's currently grounded for inciting violence at school, Gaz is doing well as far as I know, and Zim is currently in my lab with me. They promised that I could do research on them, as long as I wait until they leave for me to publish my findings. I've publicly denied the existence of aliens for too long, and I think it would make Dib feel better if I help him with this one thing. Zim has been hesitant on providing me much information regarding their race and home planet, Irk. Despite being an alien, Zim is a very good and obedient child for the most part, only denying certain small strange things, such as taking off their gloves. It's some sort of cultural thing to keep them on at all times.

“So, your PAK, as you call it. What does it do?” Zim hesitates once more, waiting until they've found the right words. Telling me without telling me too much. “It does the basic functions. It's also a weapon, as well as having my self defense mechanism. That's all I'm willing to say. Please don't touch it, Professor.” They bat my hand when I go to feel it, I assume it's purely metal though. “Now that I've told you a few things about myself, I have questions for you too, Professor Membrane.” I sigh and give a small smile, not that they can see it under my mask. “Of course, what is it? And please, you can simply call me Membrane. Or even just Dave is alright.”

“Professor is your title, Zim must address their tallers by their official title. You are Professor Membrane.” I give a half-hearted laugh. “Alright, whatever you're most comfortable with. What did you want to ask me?” Zim thinks for a moment before finally asking, “Why do you never spend time with Dib or Gaz? From my research, it's important for parental units to spend quality time with their smee- children. Yet you tend to stay in this lab here at home, or you're at work. Why is that?” I'm silent, I'm not sure how to answer. I've never thought about it before, do I really spend such little time with my kids? I know I haven't had much time to do so after- “Professor? Are you alright?”

“Yes, I'm fine. You're right, I don't spend enough time with them. Can I be honest with you? Don't tell Dib or Gaz.” They motion a zipping gesture to their lips. “After…after my wife died, I have been distancing myself from my children. They remind me too much of her, especially Dib. I drowned myself in work to distract myself from it all, I didn't realize the two were hurt so much by it. In hindsight, that definitely explains some behavior from the two of them.” Zim keeps listening, I don't mean to rant, but I feel comfortable with them for some reason. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to vent all of my problems to a child. I'm sorry, Zim.” Zim shakes their head. “Apologize to Dib and Gaz. They're the ones hurt by you, and a good taller one owns up to their mistakes.”

“You're right. Thank you.” Just then, I hear a knock. “Now's your chance.” Zim mumbles. I open the lab door to see Gaz, who looks stressed. “Hello, daughter! What can I do for you?” I try to sound enthusiastic, but the exhaustion of venting is wearing me down a little. Maybe I need a therapist. “So um…uh…” Gaz mutters, I've never seen her so shy about something. “What is it, Gaz? You can tell me.” She motions for me to lean down so she can whisper into my ear. I bend down, and she cups her hands to my ear and whispers, “I'm bleeding, dad.” I'm a little surprised at first, and my instinct is to ask where, until she elaborates. “Um. It's really hard to clean out of my underwear. How do you clean blood out of clothes again?” Her face is red. “Oh. Oh, I see. Did you-” I whisper back.

“Yes, now help me!” She yell-whispers. This isn't my first time dealing with a child on their period. I didn't expect Gaz to get hers this early, though I remember Dib was a year younger than her when he started his. “Alright, I'll help you.” She grabs my sleeve and leads me to the bathroom, and picks up her discarded bloodied underwear for me to help her clean. “You need to use hydrogen peroxide, it gets any blood out of any clothing. Bleach helps too, if you don't mind your clothes turning white.” I'm glad that I'm wearing gloves, not that I have real hands to get dirtied anyway. Gaz is scarlet in her face. “You don't need to be embarrassed, this is a perfectly normal part of puberty. Everyone goes through puberty. Remember when your brother got his first period?” Gaz snickers. “Yeah, I called him Bloody Mary for weeks.” I nod. “Now you know how he felt. Now, let this soak in the sink for a while. I'll buy you some pads on my way to the store, since I think Dib used the last of them. Would you like to come with me?” Gaz shakes her head. “Heck no! No way!”

“Alright. You can stay here with Zim and Dib then.” She thinks for a short while, then decides. “Alright, I'd prefer the embarrassment of buying that stuff than being around those two at each other's throats.” I laugh. “Like I said, there's nothing to be embarrassed about! I know it's a little awkward, since I'm your father, but I've dealt with this before. I'm a scientist! I have to know about basic biology and be okay with it.” Gaz rolls her eyes. “Yeah yeah. Bet you had to deal with that too from mom.” I shake my head. “Actually, she never had periods.” Gaz opens her eyes at me, a little surprised. “Huh. Must be why she was infertile and you cloned us from you both, huh? Did we both end up as female because of her genes over yours?” I nod.

I hold Gaz's hand after she puts on her shoes and we walk out the door, she seems a little surprised. “What?” She shrugs. “Nothing. You've just never held my hand before.” Have I not? “Oh. Well, there's a first time for everything.” We walk out the door and get in my car with her in the front seat. “Well, congratulations Gaz. You're turning into a woman.” She groans. “It sucks. I wanna go back to being little.” I laugh loudly. “Don't we all? My mother thought I was insufferable during my puberty! All of the testosterone flowing through me made me so angsty. Oh, those were the days.” Gaz gasps. “You were angsty at one point? I cannot see that.” I rub her purple head. “I was. Speaking of, your grandparents want to visit sometime. I remember how much you love grandpa.”

“What? I don't love him THAT much.” I look at her with doubt. “You love him so much you dyed your hair to be the same color as his.” Gaz pouts and looks away. We arrive at the store. “Alright, let's go.” Gaz steps out of the car and walks with me. She's quiet, likely still embarrassed as she fidgets with her hands similarly to when she plays with her little game devices. “Now do you need smaller ones or larger ones?” Gaz shrugs. “Smaller?” I lead her into the feminine products section, and take out the box we need. “Dib usually uses this brand, so I recommend it for you.” She stuffs her hands in her pockets as we go up to the cashier. I sneak in a dark chocolate candy bar for her too, she'll need it. “$8.99 please.”

I pay for the pads and candy, then we leave, Gaz is clearly excited to go back home. “Ugh, I hated that. Oh, is that a dark chocolate Milky Way?” I hand it to her and she practically tears open the wrapper, chomping into it with glee. “Thank you, dad…” I smile as we drive home. “Oh, Gaz, I have a question.” She looks up at me. “Do you have any ideas for a new disguise for Zim? I wanna surprise them with a new, far better disguise.” Gaz smiles and starts to give me some good ideas.

Chapter Text

Keef hasn't left me alone since I met him that day. He's a nice kid, but it gets a little annoying sometimes. Gaz and I are currently at lunch talking while Dib sits alone. He used to sit with Gaz, but he hasn't been ever since I started sitting with her. I almost feel bad. “Heya buddy!” I hear a gingered boy shout as he sits next to me. “Hello, Keef. What do you want?” He smiles at me simply responding to him. “So um, I had something to ask you, it's a little embarrassing.” I roll my eyes and wave my hand. “Just ask already.” He smirks awkwardly now, twirling his curly hair in his fingers. “I was wonderinggg…if you wanted to go out sometime?”

Gaz seems surprised, while I'm confused. “Like, what do you call it? ‘Hang out'?” Gaz smacks my arm. “No, dummy. He means like, on a date.” Keef nods. “Wow, didn't think you had the guts to actually ask them, Keef.” I'm even more confused now, my English vocabulary database suggests that dates are like, romantic. “Are you asking me on a romantic outing?” I emphasize the romance part. “Yeah…so do you wanna?” I look over at Gaz, and she shrugs. “Don't look at me, it's your choice.” I've never been asked by someone to go on a date before, let alone by someone of a different species. “Zim will try this ‘dating’ thing. On one condition!” Keef listens. “Don't touch me with your filthy germiness.” He agrees. “I won't!”

“So, when do you want to go on this date?” I ask, and he thinks. “I don't know, I didn't think I'd make it this far! Uhm…” Keef thinks even harder. “How about at 4?” That's about an hour after school, so that gives me a little while to prepare myself. “Alright.” Keef beams with glee, smiling from ear to ear, as I learned those things are called. “Awesome! See you later, Zim!” He finally walks away, eyes are on us now. “Ooo, Zim's got a boyfriend!!” I hear one boy yell. “I DO NOT HAVE FRIENDS! I NEED NO ONE!” I deflect, crossing my arms as I turn back to Gaz. “Why are they looking at me?” Gaz shrugs. “Probably because you accepted a date from a loser like Keef.”

“Aren't you both boys? Isn't that wrong?” I hear another human boy ask. “Zim is not a boy, Zim does not care for your ‘genders.’ Zim does as Zim pleases.” Gaz snickers. “Why do you talk in the third person like that?” I smile. “I like hearing my own name.” She nods, understanding. “I can help you get dressed for it. Traditionally, you dress up for a date. Just a warning though, I only know about female fashion.” I wave my hand dismissively. “I don't mind! Zim will wear male or female clothes, it doesn't matter!” Gaz smiles. “It's so weird to have someone actually wanna do things with me like that. Normally I keep to myself with my video games.” Gaz is the only human so far that I like aside from the Professor, so I don't mind spending time with her.

“You know, having a boyfriend or a girlfriend can also help you appear more normal. I don't care for romance, and I've been called weird for it. I don't think it's weird, but to fit in with society, you kinda gotta have a partner.” I nod, understanding what she's saying. “So if I go on a date with Keef, I'll look more normal?” I ask. “Yep, and if I dress you up as a girl, you'll look even more normal. Because unfortunately, in this heteronormative society, you gotta fit in no matter how different you are.” That all sounds complicated. Why can't people have romantic outings with whoever they want, no matter their gender? Or present however they want? It's all so confusing. “Anyway, the bell's about to ring. See you at home, Zim.” I wave her goodbye as she leaves.

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Back at the Membrane house, I'm in Gaz's bedroom, which is a rare occurrence seeing as she never lets anyone in her room. “I have a few outfits for you, let's try this one. I have a black wig to go with it.” I'm out of disguise, showing off my true Irken self with her. “It’s a white sundress and a sun hat, I have a black wig for it too for you. It's gonna be a nice day today, so you should wear something to accommodate this weather.” I agree, I grab the dress, wig and hat as she turns around to let me change. I take off my uniform and slip the dress over me, put in my contacts, and put on the long black wig. I look in the mirror, I actually look quite nice! The hat goes great with my contacts.

“You done? You know, those gloves don't really fit with the outfit.” I flinch as I stare at my gloved hands. “I'm not taking these off, Gaz.” She frowns, looking at me up and down. “I can sew you some gloves that'll match better. Does that work?” I nod, smiling at her. She's so accommodating. “Alright, give me a moment.” I nod, walking out of the room to grab something to eat really quick. Keef should be here soon, since Professor Membrane is famous and I'm living with him, he already knows where we live. I make myself a peanut butter sandwich and take a big bite out of it, and I hear someone coming down the stairs. It's Dib. “Nice dress, alien.” He says with a weird tone. “Thank you, Dib-monster!”

“That wasn't a compliment, I was being sarcastic. You look ridiculous. What are you gonna do on that date, huh? Steal his eyeballs and replace them with cybernetic tech or something?” I laugh loudly. “Ridiculous! Why would I do that? No, I'm simply going out and having a nice time away from you.” Dib looks at me with doubt, glaring at me as he goes back upstairs. I hear another set of footsteps, much heavier boots. “Hello, Zim! You look nice today, what's the occasion?” It's the Professor. “Thank you! I'm going on a date with a human, Keef. From school.” Professor Membrane tilts his head. “A date, huh? Well, I hope you two have a good time.” I smile. Gaz comes down with new white lace gloves, it has the right finger count and everything. I graciously accept them as I hear a knock on the door. Must be him.

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Keef holds my gloved hand as we walk through town, despite asking him not to touch me. I only allow it because I'm wearing gloves, so at least it's not skin-to-skin contact. He almost fainted at the sight of me when I had opened the door, I must be too beautiful for him! I think that's why they call it “drop-dead gorgeous.” He squeezes my hand. “Where do you wanna go?” I shrug, we should've planned this out better. “Wherever you want to go is okay with me.” He thinks for a moment. “I have some tickets for the carnival! Wanna go there?” I nod, following him as he leads me into that direction.

We get to the carnival in a short amount of time. If there's one thing I dislike about this long wig, it gets in my face during windy times. “What do you wanna do first? There's food, games, and rides!” I like games. “How about that shooter game over there?” Gaz likes those types of games. Dib doesn't really play games, he prefers more weirdo activities like stalking me. I'm also not particularly hungry since I ate before we left, as well as just generally disliking most Earth food. “Alright! I'll win you that huge stuffed elephant!” I don't even know what that is, but I let him anyway. Keef goes at it first, failing miserably. Obviously he's never shot a firearm before. “Aww man…I'm sorry, Zim.” I shove him out of the way.

I hold the little fake gun and aim carefully, firing each and every shot with perfect accuracy and in a timely manner. Being in the military has its benefits. “Wow, Zim! I didn't know you knew how to fire a gun!” I can't tell Keef, of course. So I'll have to come up with an excuse. “My parents owned guns and taught me how to use them before I got kicked out.” He beams with joy. “That's so cool! You could totally protect me if anything happened!” I could, but I probably wouldn't. “You're so cool…” Indeed, I am cool. At least he recognizes his superiors. “Wanna go on a ride next? How about that huge loopy roller coaster!” I look up at it, it is pretty big. Nothing the amazing Zim couldn't handle though. “If you get scared, you can grab onto me!”

Surprisingly, we're tall enough to ride it. That boosts my confidence a little, considering how small I'm considered on Irk. We get into the front of the ride, and get buckled in. Let's get this over with, my main concern is my wig flying off during the ride. It starts to climb up a hill, likely to build suspense. Keef is practically bouncing in his seat. “I'm so excited! I've never been on such a large ride before!” I smirk, knowing what his reaction will be then. We stop at the top of the hill, and the ride pauses. This is pretty high up, but I can definitely handle it. The ride then continues, dropping down at a very intense speed, and Keef screams. He immediately clings onto me while screaming at the top of his lungs, obviously terrified.

Then we go into a loop, and he continues to scream about falling and dying. He's so dramatic, this is nothing compared to what we do in flight training. “I'M GONNA DIE, ZIM!” He starts to cry. If he couldn't handle this, then why did he suggest it!? “Get your gross face off of me!” I shove him away, as much as I could with the heavy bar in our laps and the straps around us. Finally, the ride comes to a stop. He's breathing heavily as we step out, his legs looking like they're about to give out. I hold onto him to make sure he doesn't fall and make an embarrassment out of us. “That…was intense.” Maybe for you. I look around to find a calming activity to do, and I see a giant wheel with seats that's rotating nice and slow.

“Want to go there? It might calm your nerves.” I hold his hands and emit a calming heat, similar to what I did for Dib a while ago. Hopefully this time, the recipient will be grateful. “Your hands are so warm, Zim. I can feel it through your gloves.” I smile, finally, someone that appreciates the small things I do. “Yeah, I wanna go on the ferris wheel.” I lead him to it, and we get on it, it's even closed off in a rounded cube. We close the door and it starts, Keef looking much calmer. “Thank you, Zim.” I look at him, my antenna twitching under my wig. “For what?” He smiles at me. “For putting up with me. I know I'm not the greatest guy, I'm weak, cowardly, and a little annoying.” I agree. But I don't think he wants to hear that.

“You're not that annoying, you're tolerable.” He looks down, did I say something wrong? “You're one of the only humans- I mean people that appreciate me. Besides, you're not bad looking for someone who isn't…” Irken. “...my type.” His face is reddening, and he looks out the window. “What is the Keef thinking about?” He looks back at me, his green eyes gazing into my very being. “I know we're a little young, and it's a bit soon, but I think I love you! Can I kiss you?” I don't know what most of that meant, so I take a moment to process that into my translation system. “Oh.” I simply say after I get a general idea of what all of that means. “Listen, eh…I don't think this is going to work. Zim doesn't feel that way about you. You're nice and all, but we aren't compatible.”

“Oh…I see. That's okay. I'll respect your wishes.” The ride finally comes to a stop, and we can exit. “Want me to take you home at least?” I nod, that'd be nice. It's starting to get dark and I'd rather be at the Membrane household than here. We're silent on our walk back, Keef doesn't say another word to me until we get back. In which, he finally speaks. “Goodnight, Zim. See you at school tomorrow. Um…can we still be friends at least?” I think for a moment, do I wish to be friends with him? “Sure. We can be friends.” He smiles brightly, seeming a lot more energetic than before. “Okay, see you at school then! Bye!” He runs off.

I head back inside, and I see the Professor standing there. “Um. Hello, Professor. What is it?” I can't tell what his expression is because of his goggles and mask, but his energy suggests he's in a good mood at least. “Welcome back, Zim! I have a surprise for you. Come with me to my lab.” I follow him, feeling so small compared to his absolute height. “I made something for you.” He pulls out a chip. “What's that?” I ask. “Whoever sent you here didn't have you come very prepared, so I decided I'd help make you a new disguise. It'll make you look more human! If anyone asks, then I cured you of your skin condition. It's holographic, to us, you'll appear as a human.” He gives the chip to me, placing it in my palm. 

“Professor…you…” I look up at him, even with the stuff covering his face, I can tell he's happy. “Thank you!” That was a human expression I picked up, it's supposed to show gratitude. “You're very welcome. Go ahead, try it!” I temporarily remove my PAK and open it up, putting the chip inside and connecting it with the PAK. I test it, my body starts to have this glitching effect, and my green arms turn into a similar skin tone to Professor Membrane. I feel my head, I have a nose, ears, and even real feeling hair. “You didnt have to, I-I-” I stammer, not sure how whether to laugh or not. “I did have to, if you expect to not be found out as an alien, you have to put in more effort to look human.”

“Thank you thank you thank you, Professor!” I latch onto his arm, I can feel cold metal underneath his gloves. It reminds me of something, from a very long time ago. I remember what it said to me after it activated my PAK for the very first time, “Welcome to life, Irken child. Report for duty.” I remember jumping up and embracing it. “I love you, cold unfeeling robot arm!” The Professor's voice snaps me out of my memory. “And who's attached to the cold unfeeling robot arm loves you too.” Oh shoot, did I say that out loud!? My face glows pink. “It's alright! There's no need to feel embarrassed! I've grown quite fond of you too, little one.” He ruffles my new hair, and it gives me pure euphoria.

“I…” I'm not sure what to say now, I've completely embarrassed myself in front of him. “Aww, getting all child-fathery with dad?” Gaz interrupts my train of thought. “G-Gaz! When did you get here!?” She laughs. “I was here the whole time. So, I got an alien sibling now? Cool.” I try to stammer out some denial, but Professor Membrane interrupts me. “I wouldn't mind having a third child.” The thought sounds nice, but realistically, I couldn't. I have a mission, I am an invader. Though…maybe becoming closer with the most powerful man in the world could help me take Earth down. “I wouldn't mind being a third child.” I smirk. I've gotten the Professor and Gaz attached, now to work on Dib…

Chapter Text

“Kids! I have fantastic news!” I wake up, groaning that I have to get up as well. “What is it, dad?” Dib pipes up, Zim makes a weird bug noise of curiosity. “I have a very rare day off this weekend! So we're going to the beach! Zim says I need to spend more time with you, so that's what I'm doing.” Oh! Dad wants to hang out with us! That's awesome. “We're going to the beach? Why?” I ask, finding a brush to get my purple bed head out of the way. “Because it's almost summer, and you kids should be outside enjoying the rare sunshine we have. We're leaving bright and early so that we can get there while the sun is still out.” I check the time, it's 5 AM.

“Do we have to leave that early?” Dad nods. “Indeed! Now get your stuff ready, we're spending the night at a wonderful hotel next to the beach.” We're going to a hotel? Weird, I've never been in a hotel before. Then again, we've never been on vacation before. “We should go shopping after you're ready and get some good swimwear!” Zim raises their hand. “Excuse me, Professor Membrane. One small issue, I'm allergic to the pollutants in your Earth water. How am I supposed to swim?” Dad laughs and pulls out some weird lotion bottle. “I've discovered from a skin sample you gave me that certain pastes act as protection against the water! If you simply rub this into your skin, it'll become practically waterproof.”

“Wow, that's amazing! You're truly the smartest human I know!” Dad smiles proudly. “Of course, I will not be swimming with you kids. I have terrible trauma from the waters, so I will be merely watching from the shore.” I nod, remembering the whole shark incident. Dad was incapacitated for months and couldn't do anything until his arms got replaced. We start packing and getting ready to go on this sudden trip, I'm sure to pack my Game Slave 2 and my sketchbook. I hope it's not too boring. I also pack some extra clothes and realize I don't have a swimsuit. “Dad! I don't have a swimsuit!” Dib is rummaging through his room too, before yelling back. “Me neither!” Zim just stands in the living room, unsure what to do. “I don't even know what a swimsuit is!”

“Then it's time to head to the mall!” I head into Zim's room, since dad finally built one for them, and stand at their door. “You sure you're gonna be okay in the water?” Zim gets finished stuffing their PAK then looks up at me. “I trust the Professor, if he says the paste will work, it will work.” I smile, I'm glad the two are so close now. I'm glad we're close too. I really like Zim as a person, and I hope we can truly become super close as possible siblings some day. Now if only Dib would get on board… “Time to go!” Dad shouts, opening the front door to get in the car and leave. “I call shotgun!” I yell. Hopefully forcing Zim and Dib to be in close proximity can also force them to get along.

“I'm coming!” Dib shouts as well, having both a bag and a large suitcase. Of course he'd be the one with a lot of stuff, probably full of his freaky paranormal hunting stuff. Us three get in the car, and Zim sits next to Dib. “Ugh, why do I have to be so close to them?” I find the bickering annoying, but if forcing it will get them to get along, I'll take all the bickering. “Because your sister called the front seat, you know the rules, whoever calls it first gets it.” I smirk, I'm gonna try my hardest to force them to be friends, whether they like it or not, because I am not sitting through an eternity of them arguing and trying to fight. They WILL be siblingly. THEY WILL.

“I'll have you know, Dib-stink, that I don't like this arrangement either! Had I known about this front seat calling, I definitely would have! You stink so bad, I can hardly stand it!” Zim exclaims, holding the non-existent bridge of their non-existent nose. “You don't even have a nose to smell with!” Dad turns around. “CHILDREN. That's enough.” Woah, I've never heard him yell like that. Usually it's me yelling at them to shut up. “I want you two to get along, let's not ruin this vacation for everyone else.” Dib crosses his arms and blows his hair out of the way. “Fine.” Zim then goes to touch his hair. “You need a haircut, Dib-shaggy.” Dib smacks their hand away. “Shut up!”

“We'll get him a haircut soon, now, to the mall!” He starts to drive. I've always enjoyed Dad driving, it's relaxing to just look out the window and space out. At least, when I'm not on my GS2. “Remember, children. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.” He mentions, looking into the rear view mirror to look at Zim and Dib. “Fine, I'm okay with giving the Dib the silence treatment.” Dib just huffs and stares out the window, continuing to be angsty. The drive is quiet, which is relaxing for me. I've always preferred silence over anything, if the world had a mute button, I'd have tape over it to keep it on. I look at Dib through the mirror, he definitely needs a haircut, it's getting long again and his hair scythe thing is getting in his face. “I have an idea.”

Zim looks at me, while Dib dismisses me. “What if one of us cut your hair, Dib? I know how to do it.” He shrugs. “I dunno. I don't care anymore.” I groan, I hate when he gets like this. “Stop being so depressing and just let me. It might make you feel a bit better.” I may not like my brother, but he's still my brother, and I care. You can love somebody without liking them. “Fine.” I smirk, good, I get to threaten him with scissors later simply for moving or speaking. “Zim could cut Dib's hair, this thing needs to be chopped off.” They grab at his scythe, and Dib smacks them again. “Stop touching me!” Ugh, this car ride is going to be long.

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We finally get to the mall, and we step out of the car to head inside. I look around for a store to shop at. “How about over there? There's a lot of spring-slash-summer break stuff.” Dad nods, seeming to agree. “Alright, let's head there first then.” I hold dad's hand as we go in, and I look around for any bathing suits. I prefer one piece swimsuits, as I don't like to show much skin aside from my face. Then, I see it. My ideal swimsuit. “Dad, I want that one! Can I get it?” It's a one piece bathing suit the same color as my GS2, with the main character of Vampire Piggy Hunter's face on the front of it. “Sure, Gaz. I'll get that for you.” Dib looks around too. He manages to find a dark blue swim tank top with ghosts on it, and matching swimming trunks.

“What are you getting, Zim?” Dad asks. “This.” It's a plain black wetsuit, covering the full body aside from the head. “Good choice, alright, I'll get all of this for you kids. Zim, do you know how to swim?” They shake their head. “I’ll get some arm floats and a life jacket then so you can stay afloat. Maybe Dib could teach you how to swim, he's a wonderful swimmer.” Dib shakes his head. “No way! Zim can drown for all I care!” Dad gasps quietly. “Dib, we don't talk like that to our family.” Zim smirks at him. “They're not family, dad! They're an evil alien looking to take over the planet! They've tricked you into thinking they're this sweet, harmless little alien. But I see through their lies-!” Dad intervenes. “DIB MEMBRANE!”

Eyes are on us, everyone's staring. Murmurs of the great Professor Membrane and his insane child are being uttered. “Zim is part of the family now, and you're gonna have to get used to that. Until we get Zim home, they're sticking with us.” Dib's face is red, and tears start forming. “I HATE YOU SO MUCH! I'm going back to the car! Clearly you made Gaz as a backup in case I was a failure, and adopted Zim because I am a failure, well maybe you shouldn't have made me at all then!” He storms off, taking his purchased items with him. Everyone is silent, including me. We aren't sure what to say. “Well…that didn't go well.” Zim mutters. “You should apologize to him.” I mumble to dad. “I didn't do anything wrong. He'll get over it, he always does.” Does he? From what I've seen of Dib taking out his anger on other people, he holds a lot of grudges.

“I don't think the Professor did anything wrong either!” Zim agrees with dad. “Well, I'm ready to go! I don't like all these eyes on me.” We agree and leave. I still think dad should apologize, but I'll leave it be for now. I just have a feeling dad's going to regret this later. “Does Dib really hate you, Professor?” Dad's silent, not answering their question at all as we get back to the car. “ZIM CALLS SHOTGUN!” They call, guess I'm stuck with an angsty preteen in the back seat. Zim sits up front next to dad, while I go in the back next to Dib. “Hey, man. You okay?” Dib's eyes are puffy and red. He sniffles and looks away from me. “Don't talk to me.” I sigh, fine then. If that's how it's gonna be.

We continue to drive while Zim blabbers on about something I don't really care about to dad, I keep looking over at Dib. I finally, hesitantly, reach out to hold his hand. Surprisingly, he doesn't pull back. Instead, Dib squeezes mine in reciprocation. I try to smile reassuringly, but he doesn't even look at me. “Hey, I know you said not to talk to you, but I'm gonna tell you something. I'm…here for you.” I wanna vomit after saying something so gross and weird. “Thanks.” He mutters, staring out the window with tired eyes. “I…I love you, Dib. I'm glad you were made.” I admit, trying to hold back from taking it back and denying my sibling affection. But I think he really needs it right now. “Thanks.” He mumbles again, squeezing my hand tighter. Hopefully this road trip won't be too long…

Chapter Text

Me and my family arrive at a lake beach in our home state, Michigan. It may not be an ocean beach, but it'll do. We're changed into our swimsuits and ready to go swimming. Zim applied the waterproof paste all over themself, being sure to really lather it in before going into the lake water. “Zim is ready to go!” They shout, while Dib sits by on a rock. “I don't feel like swimming.” I roll my eyes and go over to him. I whisper in his ear, “If you swim with us, I'll go ghost hunting with you. I hear our hotel is haunted.” That seems to get Dib to loosen up, as he finally stands up. “Alright, fine! But only if we do that, AND I get to mess with Zim.” I nod, giving a thumbs up.

“YES!” Good, he's finally cheering up from the previous argument him and dad had. He goes into the car and searches through his bag, looking for something. “Aha! Here, my great weapon!” I look at him skeptically. “A basic water gun?” Dib turns around to face me. “It may be basic, but it's what you do with the basics that counts! Look, watch. HEY ZIM!” He calls, and Zim turns around. Right as they do, they get sprayed in the eye by Dib. “OW! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?” They scream with one eye squinted. “Can't apply paste to your eyes, aye spacebug?” He goes into the water and tackles Zim to the shallow lake floor. “Kids! Don't fight!” Dad shouts, watching from the sidelines.

“You know, you could swim too. I highly doubt there's sharks in the lake.” Dad shakes his head. “No can do, honey. I've already lost both of my arms, I refuse to lose something like my legs now from whatever could be in that lake.” I smirk. “Yeah, like the Loch Ness Monster.” He laughs at a great volume. “Very funny, daughter. The Loch Ness is not real.” I smile more and nudge his metallic shoulder. “You already proved yourself wrong with aliens. Who says cryptids or ghosts aren't real either?” Dad looks at me with a serious face. “Gazlene, stop. Even if these things were real, I would not want you pursuing these monsters.” Then I guess I won't tell him I'm ghost hunting with Dib later.

“Anyway, go separate those two for me. They listen to you over me.” Darn right. I go over to the two and crack my knuckles. “Dad says no fighting, I don't want you fighting either. Understood?” I say with the scariest possible face I could make, glaring at the two and staring them down. “O-Okay.” Zim gets off of Dib, who they were just trying to drown. “Good.” I continue to splash around with them, and I'm honestly having a pretty good time. Normally at beaches, I sit by the sand and play on my GS2. But I actually like hanging out with my brother for once. Now that I have a new sibling, even if it's only temporary and unofficial, it's been pretty cool around here. They even upgraded my GS2 to have WiFi everywhere it goes, even in outer space.

Zim and us then hear a beeping, coming from Zim's wetsuit pocket. I didn't even know those things had pockets. “What is that?” They pull out their shrinkable voot and step out of the water, letting it expand to its original size. I still find it really cool that it can become pocket sized just for their convenience. “It's an alert, it's trying to notify me about something.” They hop into the voot and open the notification, it's a message from the GPS built into it. “What is it, Zim?” They look confused. “It's an Irken distress signal, set from here on Earth. That's impossible, they wouldn't have sent another Irken to Earth.” Dib glares at Zim. “I bet you sent them here, you sent backup.” Zim shakes their head. “No, I'm sure it's just a glitch. Best we ignore it, I'll fix my voot later.”

“Or we could investigate it! You'd like that, wouldn't you, Dib?” I suggest and look over at Dib, he's still wary of Zim. “No, we'll leave it alone.” Zim nods along. “For once, I agree with the Dib. I doubt it's anything.” Zim dismisses the warning and waves the notification away. I'm cautious, and I hope it really is nothing. “Alright then…well uh, are we going back in?” Zim sniffs themself. “The paste is wearing off. I think I'm done.” Dib shrugs. “I can go to the hotel.” I guess we're done then, this whole weird experience completely killed the mood. “Speaking of the hotel, I'm sorry kids, I could only find two bed rooms nearby.” I immediately jump up. “I CALL SLEEPING WITH DAD!”

“Aw come on! You can't just call everything! I wanna sleep with dad, I don't wanna sleep with Zim!” I smirk at Dib mischievously, giving him a noogie to the head. “Don't worry, I'm sure you two will be fine! Just separate yourselves with pillows or something. Or one of you could just sleep on the floor.” His face turns red. “NO WAY!” They both shout out loud at the same time. Dib glares at Zim, who glares at him back. “Hey, Dib! What if we brought Zim with us to go ghost hunting?” I suggest, and I hope I can get the two to share a mutual interest. “Nuh uh, Zim's not ruining my mission.” I roll my eyes. “Maybe because he's not human, he could communicate with them. What do you say, Zim?”

“Hmmm, perhaps! My PAK can translate Irken to any language, and the other way around! That's why I can speak and understand English!” Zim excitedly brags, and Dib looks curious. “Really? That's actually kinda cool, we don't even have anything like that.” Zim hums and chuckles. “So you're admitting that Irken technology is superior?” Dib sighs. “It's cool, that's all I'll say. Fine, you can come with us.” Zim lifts their arms over their head in a victorious pose. “VICTORY FOR ZIM!” Dib looks away. “Whatever, man.” Dad comes up to us three. “Ready to leave and get to our room?” I nod, holding dad's hand on our way to the car. Even though I can't feel any warmth in his hand, I still like doing this. It makes me feel closer to dad.

“Can you actually talk to ghosts?” Dib whispers just quiet enough so dad can't hear. “Maybe, I don't know. We don't have ghosts on my planet.” Zim whispers back. I really hope my plan works. “Actually, dad? Can Dib, Zim and I explore the hotel? Maybe we could find some kind of treasure to bring home a souvenir.” Dad looks hesitant. “Oh, alright. But just don't cause any trouble, okay?” I smile. “We won't, dad.” I hate lying to dad, but it's for a good cause. We get back into the car, and Dib gets the front seat this time since Zim and I already had a turn. Dad decided that's what would be fair. “I still think my voot is better, but I suppose there's not enough room for you all in there.” I shrug, I probably could've fit just fine. I'm smaller than Zim by a small amount. Ghost hunting sounds fun for once, probably because Dib isn't forcing me and I'm going out of my own free will.

Chapter Text

We're currently exploring the hotel, trying to find a way to get to the infamous fourth floor, which is supposedly haunted. That's what we're hoping for. Dib brought his ghost hunting equipment, I brought my bat, and Zim…well, they brought themself. We find a blocked off staircase on the third floor, well, it's mainly blocked off with tape. We break down the tape and go through to the fourth floor. “It's said that some child murderer lady stayed up here. Her ghost along with the ghosts of the kids she murdered are up here, looking for her next victim.” Dib says with the spookiest voice he can pull off, which isn't really scary at all.

“Should we be up here then? I mean, we're children.” Zim mutters. “Awe, are you scared Zimmy? Need to hold someone's hand as we go through this scaaary hallway?” Dib mocks, pucking his lips as he talks. “Shut up, Dib! Zim is never afraid!” They confidently put a hand to their chest, speaking in verbose. “Be quiet, or someone will hear us.” I warn my two siblings. I activate one of Dib's flashlights as the Zim walks behind us both. Dib pulls out some sort of weird box, and it makes strange beeping noises. “If there is anyone here, give us a sign. Make this box beep rapidly!” Silence. The box stops beeping altogether. “That doesn't seem good.” Zim points out. Then, we hear Dib scream, followed by more silence.

I point my flashlight to where Dib would be, if he hadn't disappeared. “Dib!? Where are you!?” I rapidly point the light in all sorts of directions, trying to find him. Zim's eyes seem to glow a little bit as the flashlight already starts to die, Dib had just put new batteries in this thing! Zim's PAK legs extend out as they also search for Dib. “This isn't funny, Dib! I'm gonna kick your butt if you don't come out right now!” I threaten, but still, nothing. “Uh, Gaz…” Zim mumbles, I point the flashlight at them. They're pointing upwards. I shine the light up, and Dib's floating, gripping his neck. There's red around his neck where he's gripping, as if something has a hold of him. “DIB!” I jump up to try to grab him, but to no avail.

Then, Zim extends their PAK legs further and grabs him, dragging him down with some sort of invisible struggle. Tears start to streak down his blueing face. Zim aims some sort of cannon just above Dib, blasting it and creating a hole in the already dilapidated wall. Surprisingly, that seems to work, Dib suddenly gasps for air and sits up. “T-That thing almost killed me!” Then we hear a screech. Suddenly, the room fills with smoke after a strange ball enters the room, and we're able to see her. She has short hair in a bob and her eyes are sunken in. “KIDS!” I hear dad call, holding more smoke bombs. “GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!” I've never heard him so angry before, it honestly scares me. I immediately run over to him with Dib. Zim follows close behind.

Dad opens Dib's paranormal suitcase and pulls out some weird sucky thing made to look like something from Ghostbusters. He turns it on, and the ghost woman gets sucked into it, being stored in a tiny jar. Dad sighs in relief, but then immediately inhales again as he glares at the three of us. “You three, follow me to the hotel room, NOW.” Oh shoot. We're so dead. We awkwardly follow behind him, and it's silent the entire way there until a worker comes up to us. “You broke my hotel! You are BANNED! BANNED FROM THE HOTEL–!” Dad hands her a wad of cash, I'm not even sure how much that is, but it shuts her up and she lets us pass into our room. He sits down on one of the beds as the three of us wordlessly stand there, staring at him. “I told you not to go investigating things you don't understand.”

“But I do understand it, dad! I understand it more than you!” Dib talks back with a hoarse voice. “You do NOT get to talk to me about what I do or do not know. You're a mere child, you can't be messing with things you DON'T understand!” Dad snaps back, and Dib flinches from being yelled at. “I told you to not do this, what would've happened if I had not been there? Dib could have been killed!” Dad crosses his arms firmly. “I can handle myself, I’ve been handling myself for years just fine without you! Why did you insist these things weren't real when you clearly know full well that they are!?” Oh boy, here we go. “Dib Membrane, drop it. Do not talk back to your father.” Dib's pale face turns red. “We’re not even your real kids! You cloned Gaz and I, and started fostering some alien freak! Stop acting like you have any authority over us!” Dad stands up.

“So tell me, ‘dad,’ why are you so insistent on us not investigating these things? It could be amazing for our research! We'd all be loved and respected by the world by now if you just let us do what we want! But instead, you deny that these monsters exist until it's convenient for you and make me look like a FREAK! So why, dad!? Why can't you just let me–” Dad pulls down his mask and reveals a metal jaw. “BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOUR MOTHER DIED, DIB!” …what? “She tried doing this exact same thing! And you wanna know where that lead her!? With a broken spine and internal bleeding until she DIED by these exact same monsters! And by trying to protect her, I had my jaw torn off! That's why, Dib! That's why I hate you going on these suicide missions!”

We're all completely silent. I have no idea what to say. That's really how it happened? Dad's never talked about it, no matter how much we asked. Now he's just gonna drop a bombshell just like that? “Dad…” I mutter, trying to get someone to say something. Dad sits back down on the bed with his hands in his hair, stroking it stressfully. “I…” Dib starts, but then stops. “I'm going to bed.” Dib finishes his sentence, likely not what he was originally going to say. Dib lays on the other bed, curled up in blankets and completely ignoring the three of us. “...” Dad doesn't say anything. Instead, he does the same thing and snuggles under the covers, neither of them even changing their clothes. “Professor?” Zim speaks, but gets ignored. “I guess I'm going to shut down for the night too…”

Why is everyone just ignoring what he just said!? Mom was a paranormal investigator? She got killed by some ghost or cryptid or something? “...she was a very smart and beautiful woman, just like you, Gazlene.” Dad finally speaks. I look towards dad as I go down next to him under the covers. “Please, children, don't make the same mistakes as she did.” He's tearing up. I've never seen dad cry before, not about anything. I curl up by his side and hold his arm. “It's okay, dad. I won't. I'm sorry, we were really dumb.” I squeeze his metallic arm in reassurance. “I won't do this again.” I can only speak for myself on this, since I'm convinced at least Dib will try this stupid stunt again. “Please don't get mad at Dib. It was my idea to investigate the hotel. Be mad at me.”

“I'm not mad at either of you. I'm mad at myself.” He rubs my head, it's extremely comforting. “I'm sorry I yelled, Dib. Please forgive me. Please…” Dib is quiet, he won't respond or even look at us. Zim curls up like a cat next to Dib as their PAK whirrs down. Their disguise disappears, their antenna drooping at the sides of their head. “He'll forgive you eventually, I'm sure of it. I think he's just processing.” I whisper to him. I'm not sure at all, Dib holds grudges easily, especially when it comes to dad. I snuggle him until my mind starts to drift off to sleep.

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I wake up to the sound of Zim's PAK whirring back to life. “What are you doing up?” I whisper as I sit up. “Irkens do not require much sleep. However, Zim cannot get up.” I peer over, Dib's clinging onto Zim's back, his head in their neck. Snuggled closely. In the most platonic way possible, it's kind of cute. “Seems like Dib's a snuggler in his sleep.” I chuckle as Zim rolls their eyes. “Get off of me, worm.” They manage to slip out of his grasp, unfortunately he wakes up too. “Mmh, I'm up now.” He stretches, I decide not to tell him what he was just doing. He'd probably flip out. Zim then walks over to us and crawls into our bed. “Zim?” They curl up again and close their eyes. “We may not need much sleep, but some more would be nice.” Dib nods and groggily walks over, falling straight back to sleep next to me. I guess it's just one big cuddle pile now. I hear dad shift. “Goodnight, children…” I smile and snuggle even closer. Then, we hear dad's security alarm attached to his watch set off and he shoots up. “Kids, get up, someone's trying to break into our house.”

Chapter Text

As we drive home in the middle of the night, we wonder what's going on back at the house. Dad's alarms went off, meaning someone is at least attempting to break in. I'm not too scared though, we could easily take some weak dude in a fight. We've had break-ins before, and it was usually some pathetic robber trying to steal crap, so I'm sure it's just something like that. They better not have gone into Gaz's room, or she's gonna kill them. Then again, her anti-me security plushies should be able to handle them too. Maybe it was some other ghost that set off the alarm! I shudder at the thought, I don't really wanna get choked out by a ghost again.

We finally made it back to the house, and as I suspected, the door's completely busted down. I carefully go inside alongside my family and Zim, fully prepared to fight an intruder. But strangely enough…it's quiet. Too quiet. Nothing is noticeably broken aside from the door, nothing was stolen, it's like they just broke in and left just for fun or something. Maybe it was some kid who broke in just to mess with us? “Be on guard, kids. We don't know if they're still here.” We continue to search throughout the house, but we don't find anything suspicious. I search my room, only to find nothing. The only weird thing we noticed that's broken or anything are the security cameras. Searching through the surviving footage, we only notice a small hooded figure breaking in, until something flashes in the cameras and they shut off for some reason.

We're wary, but from the looks of it in our house, there doesn't seem to be any signs of life aside from us. Something about that figure seemed familiar, but I couldn't identify the face at all. We're all tired, as it's the middle of the night, but we're all too worked up to sleep. That's until Zim pipes up with an idea. “Zim could watch over you all in your sleep! Zim got plenty of sleep tonight already, so it'll be fine for me!” Dad looks concerned, but nods. “Alright, you can patrol the house while we all sleep.” I shake my head. “No way! I'm not letting some evil space roach watch me in my sleep.” I glare at them. “I take great offense to that! I am not evil, nor a ‘space roach.’ Zim will protect you, Dib-idiot.” I glare more.

“Fine. But stay out of my room, got it?” Zim rolls their eyes and sighs. “Whatever, Dib-brother.” My face feels hot. “I am NOT your brother, and I never will be!” I storm off to my room and slam the door. I crawl back into bed after kicking off my boots and taking off my coat, getting snuggled under the blankets and taking off my glasses to put on my nightstand. I nuzzle my head into my pillow, trying to think of good thoughts. One day, I'll make the world see that Zim is an alien, and prove to dad that they're evil. I'll defeat Zim, and the world will love me for the rest of time. Dib, the greatest paranormal investigator in the world, responsible for capturing the first ever extraterrestrial creature. Yeah. That sounds good.

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I wake up to a strange new weight on my bed, and a blurry pair of pink eyes above me. “Zim..?” I mumble, not fully processing anything yet. “No.” I hear a new voice say. Wait. Who the hell is this!? “HEY-” My mouth is covered, I can't see the figure above me, my eyesight is too crap. The only thing I can make out are his bright pink eyes, a similar shade to Zim's, and the clawed hand over my mouth. I struggle under him, and try to kick him off, to no avail. “It'll be over soon, don't struggle too much.” I see a shiny object come out of their hood, it looks sharp. I try to scream, but he presses harder. “No one will care. Stop struggling.” He eerily and quietly says. Then, I hear footsteps, and a light comes into my room as the door opens. My savior!

This person quickly grabs me and jumps out of my window. Hand still over my mouth, I try to scream for help. “Shut up!” I hear him shout at me, I can't tell what's going on at all, am I in the air? Why am I in the air!? I feel sick to my stomach. I'm taken into the woods and pinned up against a tree. “What do you want!? I'll give you anything! Do you want money? I got lots of money–!” He slaps me. “For the last time, SHUT UP! I only want one thing from you.” I still can't see his face, but it almost looks familiar. “What? What do you want?” I feel something sharp against my throat. “Your life. They took everything from me, the only way to get revenge is to replace you.” Replace me? What the hell is he talking about? Suddenly, something hits him over the head and he falls to the ground.

“Who's there!?” I can't see them either. “It's me, stinky.” I could cry right now. “Zim! What are you doing here!?” Zim looks at me with their huge alien eyes. “Saving your life, obviously! Irk, you really are ungrateful!” I run up and throw myself at them, embracing them in a tight hug. “Unhand Zim! I will stab you!” I hear a groan. “YOU!” The figure stands, holding their head and pointing at Zim. “Me?” Zim is suddenly tackled to the ground and starts getting beat. “I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! I'LL KILL YOU BOTH!” I try to grab him, but he overpowers me. It's like he has the strength of two people. I find a large stick and swing it at him, bringing him back to the ground. I keep swinging, even as he throws up his hands to guard himself as I beat him.

Then, he falls unconscious. Why did I do that? Wouldn't it have been good for me to let him kill Zim? No, because then he would've killed me right after. I pant, exhausted from swinging this huge stick. I get closer and realize the reason I couldn't see his face, it's because he's wearing a mask. “...thank you, Dib.” Zim mutters to me. “I didn't do it for you.” I spit back, reaching out to the blurry figure's face to pull down his mask and take off his hood. “Here's your glasses, scum.” Zim tosses my glasses at my face, and I quickly put them on. I fully pull down his mask and– no. No, this isn't right. This can't be right. “Wow! He looks just like you! Just…somehow uglier. Wait a minute! What is that?” They turn his head over, he has one of Zim's weird PAKs!

“This doesn't make any sense! Who the heck is this?” I don't understand any of this. I get woken up in the middle of the night and almost murdered by some doppelgänger with a PAK? I don't understand. “GUYS!” Gaz calls, running towards us with dad. “Dib! Are you alright? Are you hurt anywhere?” He grabs my face and inspects me, I shove him away. “Dad, stop. I'm fine.” Traumatized, but fine. Dad looks down at my kidnapper, and freezes. “Wait. Dib…and also Dib?” Gaz inspects him. “He's got a PAK too, like Zim. Is he another Irken?” Dad shakes his head. “He looks too human…perhaps some sort of hybrid?” He picks up my kidnapper in his arms. “What are you doing?” I ask, very confused. “I can't leave him out here. He…looks too much like you. I need some answers.”

“Dad, we can't take him! He was trying to kill me!” I protest, but dad looks at me. I can see his eyes through his goggles. “I can't leave him to science knows whatever is out here.” I understand where he's coming from, but I want him to know that I don't want him in our house again! “Here's a good middle ground, bring him home, but restrain him until we get answers.” Gaz brings up an idea, I still don't like that compromise. “Alright.” Dad agrees, and it seems like everyone would prefer to keep him alive to get answers about who he is. I don't care about what or who he is, I'd rather leave this freak out to die. I follow everyone home though, I just hope dad doesn't get attached to this one either, to be honest.

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We have him tied to a chair, tightly secured to assure any kind of struggle won't release him. Looking at him closer, he really does look identical to me. Just also…different. Like some freak hybrid between Zim and I. Some weird Zib thing. His disgusting green skin, lack of a nose and nears, and his claws remind me of Zim, but the rest of him is basically me. He also has his hair split into two, like antennae. It keeps twitching, it's…disturbing me. His glasses are cracked, as if he got into some fight that resulted in them breaking. His coat is torn, and he's wearing a yellow shirt with a neutral face on it. I'm not sure what to think, my first impression is pretty bad, considering he kidnapped and tried to murder me.

His eyes flutter open, and the PAK whirrs. At first, he seems passive as he's processing where he is. Then, his eyes shoot wide open and he struggles in the chair, thrashing around violently. “Where am I!? What's going on!? Let me out!” He thrashes more as dad steps forward, hesitant. “...Dib?” He murmurs. The boy looks up at dad and freezes in place, as if he saw a ghost. “No. No, he's not dad! He's some alternate version of dad! He's not real!” He yells at himself, dad and I look at each other. “Dib, it's okay. Stop thrashing, you'll hurt yourself–” He falls over on his side in the chair, continuing to try and throw himself out of it. “Jeez, he's even crazier than you.” Gaz comments, and I glare at her. “At least he has a smaller head!” Zim mentions, I glare at them too.

Dad gets closer, even as I whisper protests to get away from him. He kneels down close to his level and reaches his hands out. “Professor, what are you doing?” Zim asks as dad unlocks the restraints on the boy. Immediately, he jumps to attack dad, just as I had feared. Gaz, Zim and I go to help him, but he shakes his head. “No, it's okay! I can handle this!” Dad wraps his big arms around him tightly, squeezing so he can barely move, only able to kick his legs violently. “Let go of me! I'll kill you all and move on to the next timeline. I messed up and got caught, but I won't again!” Timeline? Is he really from an alternate universe? That crosses out my shapeshifter theory.

“Son.” Dad speaks, and it freezes the fake Dib in place again. “It's okay, tell me what happened to you. I can help, whatever it is. Talk to me.” What the hell is he doing talking to him like that!? He's not your son, I am! Dad shoots me a look that says “trust me.” He puts a hand on his head, rubbing lightly. “It’s going to be alright. Now tell me, what happened?” He repeats himself for the fake Dib. “I…no, you're not dad! Leave me alone! Let me go!” Dad doesn't let go, he only holds on tighter. “I don't want to hurt you.” He speaks with a gentle voice. “I don't care, you're awful! You were the worst father EVER! AND YOU!” He glares at Zim. “You're the whole reason this happened! I'll kill you, I swear I will!”

“Why do you want to kill Zim?” Dad asks. “They ruined my life! I killed them in my own timeline, I'll do it again!” He killed his own Zim? That's…kind of badass. Yet also scary? “Why did you kill me!? What did Zim ever do to you!?” Zim speaks up, clearly offended. Somehow not scared at all. “You took my family, you got my entire school to love you, you took over my entire planet by bringing your fleet of other freakish aliens! So I killed you and your entire Armada!” He smiles sickly, for some reason, I feel nauseous at the thought. “Impossible, nothing could take down the entire Irken Armada.” Zim glares, their antennae twitching. “Well I did, and I've done it over, and over again! And I'll do it once more! I'll eradicate Irkens from EVERY timeline!”

He starts to laugh in an unhinged way with tears streaming down his face from laughing so hard, and dad looks concerned. “Dib, please calm down. Everything is going to be okay.” His head snaps up to dad. “It will work! I won't accidentally kill you or Gaz this time!” Kill!? He killed his dad and his Gaz!? “How did you do that?” He looks over to me. “You're a Dib, you're smart enough to understand. Why haven't you killed Zim yet yourself? Why are you letting them live under your roof!?” I go to speak, but I don't have an answer. “My brother's a weirdo, and definitely a little crazy, but I don't think he's capable of murder.” Gaz opens an eye to look at the weird Zib boy. “Is that how you got your PAK? You stole mine!?” Zim pipes up.

“I did. What are you gonna do about it?” He smiles at Zim. “That's impossible! There's no way you could have gotten that on yourself! Humans are too weak to handle the raw power of the PAK, it should have destroyed you.” Zim's expression seems to be in a mix of confusion and anger. If I learned someone killed me in an alternate timeline, I'd be pretty mad too, I don't blame them. But, Gaz is right. Am I…really capable of murder? Even if it's something that isn't even human? I know I wanted Zim gone, but do I really want them dead? They're likely evil, but they haven't even really done anything yet. Would I really go so far as to murder them? “You're weak, Dib. Can't even muster up the courage to kill them.”

“Shut up! I'm not gonna kill Zim!” I admit out loud. “...Perhaps that's for the better. Because you wanna know what I got for killing Zim?” I tilt my head curiously. “Nothing but suffering. My dad and Gaz are gone, along with the rest of my Earth. All that was left was me and my superweapon.” I'm not sure what to say, I only have one question. “Then why come after me and Zim?” He's quiet. “I've gone too far to go back. I might as well perfect myself by practicing my eradication on other Earths until I can get it just right, until I can kill them all without destroying Earth. I wanted to kill you so I could replace you if I succeeded, and get my life back.” We're all quiet, unsure what to do or say.

“...so what now? Now that you've been caught and you won't be able to replace Dib?” Gaz asks. “I'll just destroy this world's Armada and move on to the next universe.” He declares, looking at Zim with ill intent. “You must be exhausted, how about you save the um…destroying for another day? I have some food prepared by Foodio. Would you like some?” He scoffs. “No way, old man. The eradication of the Irken race doesn't wait for food or rest.” Just then, his stomach growls loudly. It might be my imagination, but he almost looks embarrassed. “I'll tell him to prepare dinner for one extra person.” Dad takes him to the kitchen away from us, talking to Foodio.

We all sit at the table, completely silent at first. The air is tense and heavy. “So why are you letting Zim stay here again, Dib? Why haven't you been able to convince your dad or Gaz that they're evil?” Zim looks up. “I am not evil, for the last time! Were you able to prove that your Zim was evil?” A fork gets thrown in their direction, in which they duck quickly. “...No. I wasn't, which is why I resorted to my last resort. But I know you're evil, I just know it.” Zim rolls their eyes and flicks their antennae. “You two are delusional, I simply need a place to reside until I can find my way home. I have no ill intent towards your family.” The false Dib slams his fist. “Bullshit.” I'm a little startled by the cursing. “Language!” Dad scolds.

“You're an evil alien scumbag who wants to take Earth. You were sent here by your Tallest and the Irken Armada to take over the planet in order to turn it into a snack planet as a gift to your Tallest. They'll love you, you'll get a promotion as a true invader, and you'll be beloved by all of your galaxy. Is that right, Zim?” Wow, he's pretty good. Maybe he could prove useful in exposing Zim. “Falsehood! Zim would never do such a thing for such a stupid reason! Zim highly respects their Tallest very much, but no, they have not given me a mission of any sort. In fact, I have not spoken to them in a long while.” They say, their antennae vibrating subtly. “You haven't? Why not?” Zim waves their hand dismissively. “They'll be fine not hearing from me for a while, they won't worry too much.”

“Still, shouldn't you at least update them on how you're doing?” Dad asks with concern. “They believe in my capabilities, I'm sure they know that I'm trying to find my way home as quickly as possible.” I still find it strange that they haven't spoken to the Tallest in a long time, it's been about two months since their arrival. They're telling us that they really haven't talked to them in all that time? I find it hard to believe. “...but perhaps I'll give them a call tonight if you're that worried about it, Professor.” Dad nods. “That sounds like a good idea.” The other me looks annoyed, a deep growl getting in his voice. “What are you even talking about? You talked to them all the time in my universe! I caught you talking to them about your evil plans for Earth.” Zim shrugs. “Perhaps not all Zims are the same, Zib-thing.”

“Don't call me that.” He growls, his claws scratching deeply into the table. “Then what should we call you? We can't call you Dib, because we already have Dib.” Dad mentions. That's right, I'm the one true Dib. “I don't know. In my shattered universe, everyone who lived there referred to me as the Number One Zim when I impersonated Zim.” Zim bends their fork. “You what!?” The other Dib ignores them. “So…One? Just One will do.” Dad nods in understanding. “Alright, One. I'll call you that from now on. What happened to your universe?” One takes another bite before explaining what happened to his universe.

“I created a virus to infect the Armada and every Irken PAK. It was supposed to simply disarm them, not kill everyone. But hey, that worked for me too. Unfortunately, it had the unintended side effect of kind of…blowing up the entire universe? Leaving nothing but a void?” We're all shocked at what we just heard. He single handedly destroyed the universe? “The only thing surviving was me, me and scraps. I then used those scraps to create a device that opened portals to other timelines. I then lured Zims from every dimension to me, and brainwashed them into mindless battle slaves. Creating the perfect Zim to go back to their universe and use my Dib-Virus. I was so close to perfecting a Zim, my Number Two.”

We listen more attentively. “But then, the stupidest Zim I ever met in my life showed up and ruined EVERYTHING, along with another Dib. That Zim and Dib ruined my plans, destroyed every Zim in my dimension, my device, and abandoned me in that– that VOID, FOR YEARS! IT TOOK YEARS TO GET REBUILD THAT THING!” He snaps, yelling at nothing now. “You have no idea how your kind has made me suffer!” One suddenly points at Zim and I, absolutely enraged. He suddenly stands. “I should just kill you both–” Dad puts a hand on his shoulder and sits him back down, trying to deescalate the situation. “Well, I personally have never done anything to warrant your hatred and violence. Neither has Dib.”

“I suppose that's true. I'll offer you a deal, Zim.” Zim antennas peer up in interest. “I’ll leave you and your universe alone if you agree to help me fix my teleporter. It broke after I showed up here, just my luck huh?” They think about it, until they finally nod. “Alright, fine. Just don't try to kill me or anything.” One smiles in a sinister way before extending his hand. Zim hesitantly shakes it. “Truce. But mark my words, I'll kill you in every other universe.” Zim chuckles awkwardly. “I'm sure you will.” Dad steps in. “Um, would you like to sleep on the couch tonight? I don't have a lot of room.” One nods and sits on the couch. “It's comfortable enough, better than what I'm used to sleeping on.” Dad tries to hold a smile. “Well then, I'll be taking my kids upstairs to sleep. Goodnight, One.” One looks up from the couch after receiving a blanket and pillow from dad. “Goodnight, Professor Membrane.”

Chapter Text

I head to my kids' rooms to check on them, they're all sound asleep in their beds as they should be. Dib and Gaz don't appear to be harmed, neither does Zim as they're shut down. I'm worried about going downstairs, One should be asleep but I doubt he is, considering all the noise I keep hearing. I check the couch, and he's not there. I start to panic as I search the rest of the downstairs floor for him. Then, I see that the downstairs bathroom light is on. The door is open, and I hear One mumbling in there. I gently push the door open.

One is on the floor, scratching at his head while mumbling nonsense to himself. His back is turned to me. “One? Are you alright?” He snaps his head towards my direction. “GO AWAY.” He shouts in a strange tone, his inflection is completely different from before. He turns his back against me again and continues scratching. His eyes were glowing pink, signlaing some sort of change that's stressing him out. “What's wrong? Are you okay?” He shakes his head profusely. “My head hurts so much.” I notice blood in his hair. “One, stop! You're hurting yourself!” I grab one of his hands, there's also blood under his claws. In return, he bites me on the arm before realizing his big mistake. He holds his mouth in pain after just harshly biting metal.

“Are your teeth alright–?” He lashes out, scratching at my torso which is still made with organic flesh. “I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to help. What's going on with your head?” Aside from the fact it has a PAK attached to it. “It hurts! They won't shut up!” I'm confused now. “Who won't?” One growls. “Zim! They won't stop talking! I want them out of my head!” I kneel to his level and try to speak in a soft tone. “Is Zim in your head? Because of the PAK?” I ask, I just want to understand. “Yes! Get them out!” He tugs at the PAK, but it won't dislodge. In fact, it only seems to be causing harm as tears start forming in One's eyes. “Stop. It's okay, I can–” One punches the tiled wall in frustration and holds his head. “I just want them gone, Professor.”

I pick him up and throw him over my shoulder, much to his confusion. “What're you–?” I start walking to my lab and set him down. “I'm going to attempt to remove your PAK, it's clearly harming you. I'm going to help.” He huffs and hugs his knees. “Yeah, good luck with that.” I search through my lab for some tools. “Luck isn't very scientific, One.” I find a few things that may help. I walk behind him and take a look at the PAK. Zim never let me be very close to theirs, so this could be a good opportunity to study it. Not only does this one have a different color, if only slightly, but it appears damaged. “Did you damage the PAK at all during your battle with your timeline's Zim?” He nods. “Yeah, I broke the hell out of it before taking it.” I nod. “How did it feel to attach it?”

“I didn't feel it at all, really. But once it was attached, I could feel my personality start to change. Eventually, all of the Irken knowledge filled my organic brain after a while of having it attached. That's how I found the weakness of Irken technology to hack into it and destroy them all.” I'm disturbed that a child committed such crimes like genocide of an entire race of sentient life. “How old are you, One? How long were you stuck in that void?” He shrugs. “Probably…fifteen? I don't know for sure though, I lost track of time in the Zimvoid, it's been too long.” His voice is monotone as he avoids looking my way. “Did…it ever get lonely?” He's quiet, refusing to answer. The silence is more of an answer than anything, though. “I'm so sorry.”

“Sorry?” He laughs. “The great Professor Membrane apologizing for something? That's unheard of! He can't possibly do anything wrong!” He mocks in a sarcastic tone of voice as it cracks. “...I'm truly sorry, One. Your father in your timeline should have accepted you sooner. I…should have accepted my son sooner. He hates me now because of all the things I've done wrong. I know I can never make up for it, not that I haven't tried. I just know he'd never forgive me.” One's quiet again, looking in the corner. “He doesn't hate you. He still loves you, he's just…angry, and hurt.” He quietly responds finally in an attempt to reassure me. “How would you know?” He finally looks at me.

“Because we're one in the same. We may be from different universes, but…I bet you that's exactly how he feels. Talk to him soon. Don't let him go down this path. If…if I could've done something differently, I would have. I still would have defeated Zim, but maybe I shouldn't have killed them. Maybe I should've turned them in to you when I had the chance. Force you to see. Then maybe I wouldn't have killed you and Gaz.” Tears form in his eyes again as he speaks before he realizes and wipes them away. “Ugh, whatever! Just take off my PAK and be done with it. I need Zim to fix my teleporter, after all, it's their tech. I need it fixed so I can leave and go back to the void to kill more Zims in other timelines.”

“You're traumatized, One.” His hair-antenna twitches. “What?” I clear my throat to repeat myself. “You're traumatized. You've suffered greatly, and I don't think I can allow you to go…home.” I hesitate on that last word. That void is hardly a good home for a child. “Why do you care? You didn't care about me in my timeline at all, why do you care at all?” I can tell he's getting angry again, but I'm not letting him go. “You may be from another universe, and you may be a weird alien-child hybrid, but you're still my son. I will not allow my children to go off on such dangerous adventures!” One laughs. “I'm not your child. I'm the Number One. Your child in that timeline does not exist. I'm not Dib. I'm not Zim. I dunno what I am.”

“Why do you have to be either?” He looks up at me. He's quite short for being fifteen, still the same height as my Dib. “You don't have to be Dib or Zim. You can just be you, One.” He looks away. “I don't like ‘me.’” That's…not very comforting to hear. “Why?” I ask. “Why? Because I'm a genocidal maniac that only wants destruction for the Irken race. I want them dead, Professor. I want them all to suffer the way they made me suffer.” I frown. I definitely cannot let him go like this for any longer. “Stay still, let me try to take this off.” One scoffs. “Alright…good luck with that.”

.

.

.

It's been hours, the sun is rising. I haven't been able to take this thing off, it's fused with his head. If I were to try to take it off, I could risk seriously injuring the boy. “I'm sorry, One. I don't know what else to do.” I don't get a response. Worried, I lean over to see his face. He's sound asleep. Poor thing, he must've been exhausted. How did he not feel me trying to get the PAK off though? Maybe his pain tolerance is high. I pick him up and go back to the living room to lay him on the couch once more. I take off his coat, hoping to get him more comfortable. Then, I notice it. Scratches all over his arms, some fresh and others scarred over. This causes me to freeze and tense up. He's been hurting himself. This is distressing, I have to do something, but I'm not sure what to do.

I go back into the bathroom to get supplies, and I rush back over to help clean the fresher wounds. I notice the blood under his claws again, is that what he does? Scratch himself until he bleeds? It breaks me to see a child, one that looks so much like my own, suffer like this. Is this Dib’s future if I continue to neglect his needs? I have to talk to Dib. I go up into his room and knock on his door before coming in, he's sound asleep. I check his arms too, just to be sure. They're clean, thank science. “Mmh…dad?” He stirs awake, confused at me touching his arms. “Son, can we talk?” He sits up, still tired and confused. “About what?” I hesitate. “Do you want to kill Zim?” He freezes, looking away from me. “I…don't know. I've thought about it, but I don't think I'm actually capable of doing that, honestly.”

“Even if you knew for sure they were evil?” He thinks for a moment. “Yeah. I still don't think I could.” He's had violent outbursts in the past, but I don't think he's capable of murder either. He's troubled, yes, but not a bad person. “Is this about that One guy?” I nod. “I don't like the idea of him staying. Nor do I like Zim staying.” I understand him completely. “I get it, Dib. You're looking out for us, your family. I want you to hear something.” He keeps quiet. “I'm…sorry for never listening to you before. Denying the existence of extraterrestrials and ghosts or whatever. I've always known they were real, I just…wanted to protect you. I'm sorry.” Dib looks a little surprised. “You're apologizing to me?”

“Yes, Dib. I'm sorry for everything. Ever since your mother passed, I've been neglecting you and your sister. I truly apologize.” He's gone silent again, likely processing what I've just said. “I…I can't forgive you. Not yet. I'm sorry.” I feel my heart figuratively break at this, but I get it. “I understand. I can't forgive myself either. You don't have to forgive me yet, I just wanted you to know I'm sorry.” Dib nods. “Okay. Thanks.” He tries to give me a small smile, I try to smile back. I hear a knock on the door, who could be here so early in the morning? “I'll be back, stay here.” Dib nods as I leave. I go downstairs, luckily the knocking hasn't woken up One. “Coming!” I speak out, still trying to be somewhat quiet, but the knocking won't stop. I open the door, and there's a young girl at my door. “Hello, can I help you?”

“Is Zim here?” She smiles.

Chapter Text

“Is Zim here?” She smiles. I'm confused, is this a friend from school? “Uh, yes. Why do you ask?” She smiles wider. “I want to see them. I'm a friend, I would love to be able to see them again!” I'm not sure why, but this girl is giving me red flags. “They're not awake right now, come back later.” I attempt to close the door, but she grips the door with immense strength. “I insist. I can go wake them up.” They don't have their disguise on, I can't let her see them like that! “My final answer is no, please go away.” Her expression turns cold in an instant as she grips the door harder, causing cracks! “I wasn't asking, Professor Membrane.” She shoves the door open and invites herself in. “Wow, what a nice house! They must be really comfy here…” She goes for the stairs and I grab her arm.

“Wait! You can't just barge in!” She glares at me. “Let go of me. Now.” I glare back. “No, get out of my house! You are not welcome!” I hear footsteps from upstairs, it's Zim out of their disguise. Damn it! “Membrane? What's going on?” The girl spots him, and rips herself from my grasp, running towards him. “ZIM, LOOK OUT!” Before they can react, she throws a ball towards them, and it explodes into a net, trapping them within it. “Hey! What is the meaning of this!? I'll kill you, puny human!!” Strangely, the girl doesn't seem phased by the fact she just captured an alien. She presses a button on her backpack. “I've got them, returning ASAP.” Not on my watch! I tackle her to the ground.

“Get off of me, hairy beast!” She struggles in my grasp. “Let go of Zim!” The other three children come out of their respective spaces to investigate the noises. She talks to her bag again. “I've been caught by the family!” Then, her backpack speaks. “Kill them all then! Just get Zim back here NOW!” Then, similar metal spikes to Zim’s emerge from her backpack, causing me to throw myself off of her. Zim continues to struggle in the net, trying to gnaw at it but to no end. “Dad!” Dib yells out, coming to my aid. Gaz grabs her bat and swings at the intruder, but she blocks it with her arm. Surprisingly, her bones don't completely shatter. One stands there, unable to move at all. Gaz continues to fight as Dib helps me up.

Then, something seems to snap in One. His eyes glow once again as he holds his head in pain. He lashes out towards the girl, extending his own metal appendages. “Where did you get a PAK? Whatever, doesn't matter. I'll just kill you all and be done with it.” She dodges the metal appendages flawlessly, tackling One to the ground. “Get off of him!” I swing my metal arm at her, she grabs my fist and completely crushes the metal. What the hell is she? Then, I hear something snap. “DON'T TOUCH HIM!” I hear Zim cry out, as they pin her to the wall. She somewhat struggles in their grasp, their strength seemingly equal. No way. She's not Irken, is she? The two fight each other as the rest of us aren't sure what to do, if we intervene, we could easily overpower her together. But we could also get seriously injured, just look at my prosthetic!

I use my metal jaw to rip off my other glove, using my other prosthetic arm to charge up. She doesn't seem to notice amidst the chaos. I don't want to hurt Zim though, is this really a good idea? My hand-eye coordination should be good enough to aim properly. My arm charges up, ready to fire. Just as she gets on top of them, I fire my beam. It completely knocks her down, and she…glitches? “YOU INSOLENT FOOLS!” Her skin turns green, and her purplish blue hair disappears, replaced with two curly antennae. Her eyes are a deep purple with a beauty mark under one of her eyes. “DIE!” Zim interrupts her with a pierce through her torso. It shocks me, completely stunning me in place. Did they just do that!?

Pink blood coughs up from the alien. The metal appendage through her torso pins her completely to the wall. “W–Why? I'm just trying to get you home, away from these disgusting creatures! You haven't spoken to them in months, they're worried!” She winces from the pain of having metal in her guts. “Let me tell you something…” They seemingly scan her with their eyes and PAK. “...Invader Tak. That's your name, right?” She coughs. “If you mess with these humans ever again, I'll rip out your squeedly-spooch and force you to choke on it. You can go home and tell the Tallests that I'm perfectly fine. Go away now, get out of my sight.” They take out their metal leg from her stomach, letting her fall to the ground, bleeding.

“Holy shit.” One says, appalled. Zim picks her up and throws her outside, blood staining their clothing. “Ugh, I got her blood all over me! Gross!” Why are they so nonchalant? They just stabbed one of their own kind! “What? Why are you all looking at me like that?” Gaz has her mouth agape. “You just stabbed her! Is she dead!?” They shake their head. “This is perfectly normal in Irken fights! No, she's not dead. Irkens don't die that easily, her PAK should be healing her right now.” Dib blinks. “So can you explain why she was here?” Zim sighs. “Apparently the Tallests are worried about me. So worried, they sent an invader to come get me.” Dib shakes his head. “Wait, invader? You're an invasive species?” Zim freezes. “Zim, are you an invader?”

“I–I…” Zim is completely frozen, finally getting caught. “I told you! I completely called it! You're here to take over our planet!” Zim waves their arms in front of them. “No no! I'm not here to do anything to your planet!” Dib looks furious. “You're such a liar! You first invaded my home, my family, and now you'll invade my planet!” Dib approaches Zim, shoving them. “Dib!” Gaz shouts. “No! I won't let you! Get out of my house, get out of my LIFE, stay away from my family!” Dib screams, shoving Zim out the door alongside Tak. “Take that filthy thing with you too!” I place a hand on his shoulder. “Dib, stop it. You're being far too dramatic about this!” Dib turns around and glares at me. “No! I'm sick of not being listened to and forced to follow your orders! Now get the hell outta here, Zim! Go back to Irk or whatever! Take Tak and LEAVE!” Zim grimaces. Tak stands up and grabs their hand. “Come on, let's go. The Tallests want you back.” Zim glares at Dib. “Alright. I'm clearly not welcome here, I’d rather go back…home.” No! “Zim, wait!” They walk away with the other alien, leaving me alone with the other three children.

“Why did you do that!?” I demand an answer. “Because I'm sick of this crap! I want to be listened to for once, and now it seems like the only one who'll listen to me is Zim, they had the common sense to finally LEAVE. Why don't you ever listen to me, even when I'm right!? Zim is an invader, part of a species that likely wipes out other planets for their own sick pleasure!” Dib shouts at me, and One pipes in. “Pretty much, yeah.” Gaz glares at him. “Stay out of this, freak.” Gaz trudges upstairs. “Gaz, wait!” She glares at all of us again. “I'll come back down when you apologize to them and bring them back! Zim is the one of the few good things that's happened to us and you just kicked them out!? I hate you, Dib!” She slams her door. Ah…

“Whatever, I don't need Gaz. One, you're on my side, right?” One looks away. “I mean, yeah.” Dib smirks. “Dad, come on! Open your eyes! Zim’s a monster, irkens are monsters. They could never be redeemed, they're going to kill us all if we let them, they're ALL monst–” Suddenly, he's on the floor, covering his face. What did I just do? One’s face is of horror, looking at me with fear. Did I just hit him? Did I just hit my own son? I didn't even realize I did it. “I FUCKING HATE YOU!” Dib screams as he runs upstairs. “Dib!” He slams his door. “I’m…gonna leave.” One hugs himself as he approaches the door. “One, please! Don't leave!” He walks out the door. Where is he even going!?

I can't believe this is happening. I'm losing all of my children in one morning. I…I need to go to my room. Figure this out with myself. I can't handle this right now. I'll figure something out…

I'll figure something out…

I'll figure something out…

Chapter Text

“Zim! There you are! Where have you been this entire time!?” The Tallests ask me. I hesitate to answer. “On Earth, like you told me to be at.” Red squints his eyes at me. “Don't get smart with us. Why haven't you called? You're one of our greatest invaders, and you just disappeared on us! Why was it taking so long to complete your mission?” I hesitate once more. “The family I was staying with…distracted me.” Tallest Purple lowers his head, bending down to get to my level. “We have been awfully kind to you, considering your stature. For being so short, you're quite respected between the two of us.” I lower my head. “Thank you, my Tallests. I am grateful.”

“You cannot allow yourself to be distracted. You are hereby banned from ever going back to planet Earth.” My eyes widen. No, no that can't be true! “B–But sirs! Why!?” I beckon an answer. “We can't let our best invader get distracted, that's simply unacceptable. We don't want you to become a failure.” I don't understand. Why is this happening? Why do I feel like this? This…despair. “My Tallests, please reconsider–” Tallest Red holds up his hand. “Do NOT question our authority. We will assign you a new planet to invade. One where the creatures are less…sociable.” This can't be happening! I want to go back to that filthy planet! “But I like Earth! The humans and their planet are disgusting and horrific, but…I liked it.”

“That's a defective mindset. Don’t speak like a defect.” Tallest Purple commands. I lower my antennae, and my head. “Yes, my Tallests. I understand.” I don't understand. But, then I think. Even if I were to go back to Earth, I'm unwelcome. Dib hates my guts, and One wants to murder me. Maybe it's for the best. “Don't ever question us again, Zim. You are a mere smeet. A talented smeet, but still a smeet. Go back to your chambers.” I nod. I make my way towards my chambers, I don't understand any of it. Why are the Tallests so attached to me? Why did I have to leave Earth? Why did I listen to Dib? Maybe I feel bad for him. No, that's something defects do. Irkens don't feel bad. We only feel powerful, bloodthirsty, and monstrous. Monsters. We're monsters.

My antennae droop when I reach my resting chamber, I flop down into it. It's so uncomfortable, I miss my bed back on Earth. I miss the snacks on Earth. I miss Professor Membrane. I miss Gaz. Irk, I even miss Dib strangely enough. I want to go back. But it's too late, I ruined everything. My mission, my life. Back to a boring life of invading planets. It's fun at first, and fills you with a powerful feeling. But after a while…it gets boring. I never thought that me of all invaders would say that. I'm the best at it, I enjoyed doing it. Enjoyed. Ugh…my head hurts. I need rest. I'm uncomfortable, but this resting area will have to do. I close my eyes and shut down my PAK, putting it in rest mode. My thoughts start to drift away with me, and I think quite the defective thought.

I miss my family.

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SWITCHING…

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My head hurts so unbelievably bad. I'm wandering in the rain, looking for somewhere to rest. I developed Zim’s allergy to the rain, so it burns like hell. Zim keeps speaking to me in my head, whispering nonsense in my head. “Shut up…SHUT UP!” I yell out in pain, leaning against the door of a nearby building, standing under the awning for some relief from this cursed rain. I sit down, hoping to rest my feet a bit. These boots are getting too small for me. My clothes in general are too small, and they're dirty and soaking wet, making me smell awful. When you haven't had a way to change or wash your clothes in three years, that'll happen.

This shirt is too tight, but unfortunately, not being cis means no being shirtless. I notice a figure in the distance, I keep my guard up. He has an umbrella, and he's dressed pretty nice. “Excuse me.” He approaches me. Prepare for an attack. “Are you alright?” I scoff. “I'm fine. Leave me alone.” He's a younger man, probably in his late thirties to early forties. “I can't leave you alone out in the rain like this. Uh…” He thinks about what to do next. “At least have my coat, you're soaked and you look freezing.” I shiver. “No thanks. Keep your coat.” He tilts his head. “You look like a kid I know. Dib, right?” How would he know Dib? Then again, Dib's the local freak, everyone knows him. “I'm from another universe.” I decide to simply tell the truth, there's no point in lying. I've got nothing left to lose.

“Another universe? You're being serious?” I nod. “Yep. Completely serious.” He thinks to himself. “Well, if you're some sort of doppelganger of Dib, you must know Professor Membrane.” I nod. “Yeah, he let me stay with him for a night, but I left.” He looks concerned. “Why?” I shrug. “Don't wanna talk about it.” He nods. “I understand. Why don't you come stay with me for a while?” I shake my head. “No way, I was enough of a nuisance to the professor, I'll be a burden to you too.” He frowns. “Nonsense. Please? I promise I won't bite. Or bark. Or really do anything threatening.” I doubt it. He'll probably take me back to his house to do…god knows what to me. “Fine.” I have nothing left to lose.

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Back at his house, it's warm and dry. Perfect. “The bathroom down the hall to the right, next to my room if you need it.” I nod, standing around uncomfortably. “You're allowed to sit, you know.” I flush. “I–I knew that!” I take off my coat and sit on his couch. I look up at him as he goes into his kitchen and opens the fridge. “Why are you having me stay here?” He looks up from the fridge. “Because I care about Dib. You remind me a lot of him.” He looks so familiar, but I can't put my finger on it. Maybe a distant family member? No, all of the family are out of state. “So is your name Dib too?” I shake my head. “I go by One.” He looks a bit confused, his thick black eyebrows furrowing. “Alright then, One. I'm Richard Dwicky. You can call me Dick.”

Dick Dwicky? That's hilarious. “Okay then…can I just call you Mr. Dwicky?” He nods. “That's fine too.” The name sounds familiar too. Wait a minute! “You're the school counselor, aren't you?” Mr. Dwicky shrugs. “I quit that job to move onto bigger things. I'm an official therapist now!” Oh, cool. “That's awesome, I guess.” I look to the side. There's an awkward silence. “Would you like something to eat? I don't have a lot in terms of food, but I have some snacks.” I nod. “I prefer snacks. Thanks.” He goes back into his kitchen and pulls out some honey candy. I freaking love honey. “Can I have some?” I ask, much to his delight. “Of course! Here ya go.” I practically rip into the wrapper and devour the candy, Mr. Dwicky looks pretty shocked.

“Wow, you must be hungry. I'm sorry I don't have much more.” I shrug. “It's fine. I'm used to going hungry.” This seems to concern him, since he sits down on the couch. “That's not good.” I hum. “So uh…tell me about your universe.” I think for a moment. “I was raised by my single father, Professor Membrane, along with my little sister, Gaz. Both were incredibly different than they are here. Paler. Meaner. Gaz had blue eyes rather than brown.” He seems interested, as he leans forward while he's sitting. “Everything was fine, aside from the neglect my father and Gaz subjected me to. Whatever, though. I didn't really care. But everything changed when they arrived.” Mr. Dwicky tilts his head. “Who?” I glare. “Invader Zim.”

“Who's that?” I rip into another honey candy. “An alien who infiltrated Earth. They were in my school, and we fought a lot. One time we had a burrito fight in the cafeteria. They had a mech suit to protect them from the attacks of my burrito gauntlet.” I laugh a little to myself. “They were a parasite that had to be eradicated. So, I killed them.” Mr. Dwicky’s eyes widen at this. “You killed the alien?” I nod. "That's what this is.” I pull down my hood to show him my PAK. “Holy crap. Does that like…hurt?” I shrug. “Sometimes. I don't really care.” I lie. I do care. I hate that I made such a stupid freaking decision like that. “So what happened? Why are you here?” I look down. “I killed my family and destroyed my universe after mass murdering an entire race of aliens.” Mr. Dwicky blinks.

“I showed up here to kill this Zim, but…they don't have the same energy as the other Zims. I couldn't feel their regular evil radiating off of them this time. I must be losing it.” His eyebrows furrow once more, frowning. “You're not losing it. Maybe this Zim is just nicer?” I laugh in his face. “Hahaha! As if! All Zims are evil. All irkens are evil.” I remember hearing Dib say that, only to get smacked down to the floor by Membrane. I shudder at the memory. “I see.” He takes a sip of cola and puts it down. “I'm so sorry all of this happened to you. If you want, you can stay here as long as you'd like.” I shake my head. “No thanks. I'm leaving the second it stops raining.” He laughs a little. “It's Detroit, the weather is always horrific.”

“I guess so. But once it finally does, I'm leaving. Got it?” He looks…strangely sad. “Alright then. Hey, how old are you?” I think for a second, what did I say my age was? “Fifteen.” He nods. “I understand. So you were in that void for how long? Three years?” I nod as well, looking down. “Well, make yourself at home. I have to sleep so I can go to work bright and early tomorrow.” I understand. “Are you okay? Do you need anything? I have a spare bedroom upstairs for whenever you're ready to sleep.” I shake my head and wave my hand. “No, right here on the couch is fine.” He nods and walks off to his own bedroom. I'm nervous to sleep here. I mean, I barely know this guy. But whatever, I have nothing left to lose.