Chapter Text
Chapter 2: Pressure
The question hung in the air for a long moment, Theo sinking back into his chair with a weary sigh and producing a cigarette from his lab coat pockets. After lighting up with a click of his metal fingers and letting out a long puff of smoke, the older man finally replied.
“That,” Theo replied, shaking his head slowly, “was Bridget. She’s a Mass Production model Nikke, and…well. I don’t feel right going into too much detail about what was done to her, as it’s not my place to share personal shit like that.”
He exhaled another cloud of smoke and stared at the ceiling. “Let’s just say that she was victimised to a deplorable degree and is coping with her trauma by forcibly divorcing herself from the idea of being a person.”
“Christ,” Johan grunted, face twisting into a rictus of discomfort.
“I’d pay a lot of credits to get my fingers around her former Commander’s neck,” Theo admitted, voice just a little bit too calm before exhaling another puff of smoke. “But that’s nothing more than self-satisfaction, and besides: that motherfucker’s well out of reach.”
The scientist shook his head again and sighed. “So…yeah. She doesn’t answer to her name anymore, just her ‘product designation’—” the words were positively dripping with venom, “—doesn’t engage in any recreational activities…hell, she doesn’t even take off her combat gear except to clean it. It’s a goddamn miracle she hasn’t undergone a Mind Switch. ”
Johan brought his hand to his face and rubbed at his eyes, nausea settling in his gut right beside the frigid shard of rage. “God…that’s so fucked up.”
“It fucking is,” Theo agreed with no small amount of bitterness. “And I can’t do a goddamn thing to help her, either; my specialty with brains is heavily slanted towards the physiological side of things.”
He pinched his cigarette between two fingers and tapped the ash into an ashtray. “Hardware instead of software, so to speak. I’m barely even qualified to be a doctor; I’m damn sure not qualified to be a therapist or anything, especially with how shit I am with people.”
“...Fuck, man,” the younger man finally settled on, a reply essentially empty of any meaning save for commiseration. “Just… fuck.”
“Amen to that, kid. Amen to that.” Theo took another drag from his cigarette before snuffing it out in the ashtray and standing up.
“Tabling that for the moment…” The older man changed the subject with all the subtlety of an elephant flipping a Jeep, fiddling with the metal case that’d been delivered by the subject of their commiseration. “Now that this stuff’s here, I can get started on those prosthetics I mentioned.”
The case opened with a loud, metallic pop , and Theo clicked his tongue. “Not in the best condition, but it’s what we’ve got, so I’ll make it work.” He reached into the case and hefted—
Johan blanched. “Is that a severed leg!?” squeaked the younger man, feeling slightly lightheaded.
The scientist, who was holding in his prosthetic hand what looked like a fleshy human limb , looked back over to his patient. “Ah, no, not in the way you mean. Nikkes are generally indistinguishable from humans, at least at a glance, so despite the way this looks, I assure you it’s entirely synthetic.”
Theo approached his bedside, gruesome prize still in hand, and turned it so Johan could see the severed part. Indeed, rather than torn flesh and bone, beneath the bafflingly realistic skin lay a complex interlocking mass of metal parts whose purpose was, presumably, to enable the leg to function as, well, a leg.
“I guess it makes sense that people would want to still look human even after becoming Nikkes,” Johan ventured, eyes still pinned to the limb with no small amount of squeamishness despite now knowing its true nature.
“Not just ‘want’,” Theo corrected. “Need. Are you familiar with the concept of dysphoria?”
Johan gave a nod, so the scientist continued. “Well, Nikkes are uniquely susceptible to a very serious form of psychotic breakdown, the most common cause of which is overwhelming dysphoria caused by being reminded that they are no longer human. This event is called a Mind Switch.”
The younger man’s eyes lit up in recognition. “Right, you mentioned that term in regards to Bridget earlier.” Johan’s brow furrowed. “But…if being reminded of the fact that they’re androids tends to lead to this ‘Mind Switch’, why is she able to use the fact that she is one as a coping mechanism?”
“I have no fucking idea,” Theo declared with a scowl. “Mind Switch is heavily tied into the mechanics of NIMPH, and even the brightest minds in the Ark barely know what the fuck they’re doing with that stuff. ‘S why I decided to create the MINOS.”
Johan cocked his head to one side, deep confusion showing on his face. “Doc, you’re gonna have to explain what both of those are, because I haven’t a fucking clue.”
“Right, right,” the older man said, dropping his hands to his sides and letting the foot dangle close to the floor. “NIMPH, meaning ‘Neuro-Implanted Machine for the Protection of Humans’ is a form of nanotechnology that the Ark uses to keep Nikkes in line…well, mostly.”
Distaste was evident in his tone of voice. “There’s no record of who made it or where it came from – or if there is, it’s classified beyond belief. I’ve got my suspicions, but nothing concrete.” Theo shook his head. “Regardless, it’s used for a few things. The sole benevolent purpose of it is that it creates backups of Nikke memories, so that even if a Nikke falls in battle, as long as her head can be recovered, she can be brought back.”
Johan’s eyes widened. “Y’all have cracked memory uploads? That’s insane .”
Theo grimaced. “Less ‘cracked’ and more ‘stumbled ass-backwards into making it work’. Like I said, we barely know what we’re doing with the stuff. That admittedly beneficial use aside, NIMPH is also used to keep Nikkes from disobeying their Commanders and from killing humans.”
The scientist’s expression hardened further. “It’s not foolproof, again because of how everyone is stumbling around blindly with NIMPH, but as a general rule, most Nikkes cannot knowingly perform an action that would directly kill a human, and most Nikkes feel a strong compulsion to obey their Commander.”
Johan’s own expression grew blank. “As though what you told me before wasn’t bad enough; this NIMPH shit sounds like the nearest thing to outright slavery.”
“It might as well be,” Theo agreed bitterly, turning on his heel and walking back to the table. The doctor set down the Nikke leg and turned back to Johan. “That, in no small part, is why I decided to create a better alternative: MINOS, or ‘ Modular Inter-Neural Overhaul System’ . It’s still in its testing phase, but it damn sure doesn’t have any compulsions or shit like that, and I did my level best to make it malleable enough that it could serve as an ethical alternative to NIMPH and be used to augment human brains.”
Theo’s gaze shifted from Johan to the floor. “And on that subject, I have to offer my apologies. As I said, my MINOS is still in testing…but when you were brought into my lab, your brain was far too damaged for me to save in any other way. So…I took a risk to try and save your life.”
A chill ran down Johan’s spine, but despite that, he replied, “Well, clearly it worked, memory weirdness or not; what did you do?”
“I calibrated the MINOS to reconstruct the damaged parts of your brain, or failing that, take the place of those parts.” The words were quiet, calm, and even, but even so, Theo’s guilt suffused the words so completely that it was almost a physical force.
Johan went silent, blinking slowly as he processed the information. A new kind of nausea joined the writhing mass already squirming in his gut—the idea that his brain had been so catastrophically damaged…it was downright chilling.
Finally, the younger man spoke. “You said you had no other way to help me, yeah? The damage was too severe?”
“Much too severe,” Theo confirmed with a jerky nod. “ Maybe if we were in the Ark, their facilities could’ve done more than me, but…” The man scoffed. “If we were welcome in the Ark then you wouldn’t be in this position in the first place.”
Johan slowly nodded. “Taking all that into consideration… Well, there are definitely ethical issues here, but under the circumstances, I can’t say I’m upset you saved my life.” He raised his hand, palm up, as though to ask ‘what can you do?’. “As long as you intend to keep an eye on this MINOS stuff in my head, make sure nothing weird happens, I don’t plan on putting any blame on you.”
“That goes without saying,” the scientist immediately replied. “I’m the one who put that stuff in your head; though it did save your life, I’ve got a responsibility and a moral obligation to make sure it continues to do so.”
Theo coughed, then awkwardly added, “Plus, closely monitoring it will, uh, provide more data, so I can…make it work better.” He grimaced. “I don’t want you to think I’m just using you as a test subject though—”
“Doc. Chill,” Johan interrupted, waving his hand. “I get what you mean.”
The older man exhaled. “Right. Sorry.” He shook his head as though to clear it, then picked the Nikke leg back up, examining it. “Hm. Not quite long enough to be a simple attachment; I’ll have to do some internal tinkering to make it the right size for your leg.”
“You’d know better than me,” the younger man said, scratching the side of his head. “Oh, right. You never did answer my question: you got an estimate on how long it’ll take to get me up and about?”
“I can get the prosthetic done in a few days, and your leg fit with an attachment point in another two,” Theo answered, glancing up from said limb. “Getting you actually mobile, though, will take some physical rehab. We’ll start on that, and then I’ll start on the arm; getting you actually mobile under your own power is priority one, for a couple reasons.”
Johan cocked his head to one side. “I assume to keep me from going stir-crazy is one of them; can’t say I look forward to being bedridden for any amount of time. But what’s the other reason?”
Theo grimaced, a look of utter loathing flashing through his eyes very briefly. “...You remember when I asked if you remembered who we worked for?” The question was rhetorical, and the scientist kept talking. “Well, since it’s evident that you don’t, I’ll give it to you straight – I don’t know the exact details of what your job was before the bombing, but as things stand, both of us work for Heavenly Ascension. For terrorists .”
Johan made a strangled noise, jaw dropping open. “We fucking what!?” he managed to demand, voice cracking.
Theo spat to one side. “In my case, I wasn’t given the opportunity of not working for that rancid bitch Crow, and judging by what I’ve managed to gather of your personality based on talking with you, I’d be astonished if you weren’t in the same boat.”
As Johan was still boggling at the revelation, Theo continued his explanation. “Said bitch wants you on your feet and ‘ready to follow orders’ ASAP. While I’d like nothing more than to tell her where she can shove her orders…” He trailed off with a scoff. “Well, nevermind that; I’m sure you’re much more interested in the actual details of our… circumstances than my complaining about them.”
“Please!” the younger man wheezed, only just managing to keep his breathing under control. “An explanation would be very fucking appreciated! Terrorists, you said!?”
“Indeed,” Theo replied tersely. “They claim their goal is equality and personhood for those discarded and oppressed by the Ark, Outcast and Nikke alike—and at the time of their founding that goal was genuine—but all that Heavenly Ascension does now is lash out with indiscriminate violence.”
The scientist scowled, clicking his tongue in disgust. “Bombings, shootings, arson, ransom…if it allows them even the slightest opportunity to take out their rage on the Ark, they’ll do it gleefully, and to hell with the consequences, for innocent civilians and for everyone else in the Outer Rim alike.”
“That’s… Christ .” Johan ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head with growing horror. “The fuck do I even say to that?”
Theo made a noise of agreement, then added, “I can’t blame them for their rage – hell, I feel my fair share of it myself. But I can't— won't condone the senseless rampage they’ve committed themselves to.”
The younger man nodded slowly. “Even though you abhor their actions, you’re here, unwillingly – forced to work for them. And…so am I.” Neither statement was phrased as a question, but the older man could hear the plea in Johan’s voice.
A plea that Theo could not give a favourable answer to, sadly. “Yes. Yes we are,” the scientist confirmed with a nod, expression grim.
Johan brought his sole remaining hand to his face with a strained wheeze, then choked out, “Doc…I think you should’ve let me—”
“Don’t,” Theo bit out, a spark of anger flickering to life in his eyes.. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence. Don’t even fucking entertain that kind of thought, you hear me?”
Theo’s vehemence made Johan’s eyes widen, and the older man let out a haggard sigh.
“Believe me, I get it. This situation is awful, no doubt about it. But…” Theo transfixed Johan in place with an iron stare, before asserting with quiet intensity, “As long as you’re alive, things can change—there’s still hope .”
Johan was quiet for a long moment, then replied, his voice strained, “Not gonna lie to you, doc…I get the sentiment, but that really doesn’t help me right now.”
Theo grimaced and slumped into his chair. “Yeah, I…that’s fair. Fairer than I deserve.” He rubbed at his face wearily, then finally spoke again, looking at him seriously.
“Look, kid. I know it’s asking a lot, but I want you to put your trust in me. I…don’t have a definite or immediate solution for you, but I have something of an idea – a possibility to get you out of this situation.”
The doctor folded his hands, fingers interlaced. “Can you do that? Can you trust me with your wellbeing, even though we’ve only just met?”
Johan stared at Theo for a good long while, no response emerging from him. Just as the doctor was beginning to think that he wouldn’t receive one at all, Johan let out a long, haggard sigh. “I guess I don’t really have much of a choice, huh?” The question was blatantly rhetorical, and the younger man continued speaking without waiting for a response.
“I guess if you can’t trust the doctor who saved your life, who can you trust?” The hoarse words were accompanied by a lopsided, wobbly smile—one would’ve had to be blind to miss how forced the brave face Johan was putting on was.
Theo gave a slow nod, expression solemn. “I’ll do everything in my power to live up to your trust – I promise you that, kid.”
Johan blew out another sigh and returned the nod. Briefly, a faint spark of curiosity crossed his mind, and he seized the distraction like a drowning man would a life-preserver. “Say, doc. Why do you keep calling me ‘kid’?” he asked. “You can’t be that much older than me.”
Theo scratched at his goatee, bemused. “Really? You look like you’re barely out of your teens.”
“Try adding a decade,” Johan rejoined with a shake of his head. “I’ll be thirty in half a year.”
The doctor stared at him, a poleaxed expression on his face. After a few moments, he asked, “You’re fucking with me, right?”
Johan cocked his head to one side. “No, I’m quite serious. What’s so shocking about that?”
“But the nanites in Splendamin don't kick in until you’re totally done with puberty, and…” Theo muttered with a frown, before the man shook his head and replied. “Lemme get a mirror; it’ll be easier to show you.” The man left the room briefly, returning after about half a minute. He had a cheap hand mirror in one hand, which he presented to Johan.
For the first time since he’d woken up, Johan looked upon his reflection.
It felt like something settled fully onto his shoulders. The sensation had up until that moment been weighty yet indistinct – a seemingly sourceless unease that had been lurking just out of sight in the periphery of his subconscious. Now, though, the source was laid bare, plain as the nose on his face…no, that wasn’t the right phrasing.
After all, the face in the mirror wasn’t his.