Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

NSS Chat

(10:30 AM)

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Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. started a chatroom. 

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

Cap’n Jr.: forgot I changed my name to that

Cap’n Jr.: Anyways

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. added BombRushBlush, Agent 2, TriEye, and 8 others. 

Cap’n Jr.: did I get everyone?

Webmaster: R8ller has joined the chatroom. 

R8ller: I think so!

R8ller: unless you want Cuttlefish on here

Cap’n Jr.: he can’t type. There’s no point. He doesn’t even have a phone

R8ller: fair enough 

Webmaster: SharkWhisperer has joined the chatroom. 

SharkWhisperer: Hello!

Webmaster: DancingEels has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: BIGMAN has joined the chatroom.

DancingEels: Sup!

BIGMAN: Big Man in the house!

Cap’n Jr.: welcome

Webmaster: DJ_Hyperfresh has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: MC.Princess has joined the chatroom. 

R8ller: Hi Marina! Hi Pearl!

DJ_Hyperfresh: Hello Eight!

SharkWhisperer: Oh! I don’t think we’ve met yet

SharkWhisperer: I’m Shiver

R8ller: Hi!!! I’m Eight!

Webmaster: TriEye has joined the chatroom. 

R8ller: Are you three new agents?

R8ller: Same goes for you @TriEye 

TriEye: …

SharkWhisperer: We work for Marie. Not sure of TriEye is Agent 3 or not

TriEye: Eight

BIGMAN: it makes sense. Three’s eyes are 3 different colours

R8ller: Yes?

TriEye: I’m 4

Webmaster: Dedf1sh has joined the chatroom. 

Dedf1sh: Ha! Babe did you forget Four’s face?

R8ller: I-

R8ller: I can’t believe I thought you were a new agent

R8ller: I’m sorryyyyyy four

TriEye: lol it’s fine

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

Agent 3 Jr.: you have tri toned eyes too?

Agent 3 Jr.: also hi I’m the new 3. Cap’n and I are matching on purpose 

R8ller: cool!

R8ller: also hi Ahato!

TriEye: hi Ahato

Dedf1sh: Eight you’re sitting right next to me

Dedf1sh: Hi Four! And hi new people

TriEye: also Three to answer your question, my eyes aren’t tri coloured. My mask is B)

Agent 3 Jr.: oh cool

Dedf1sh: btw cap’n I think we are missing someone 

Cap’n Jr.: who?

Dedf1sh: we’ll it says you invited 8 people + four, Callie and Marie. 

Dedf1sh: those 8 seem to be me, eight, shiver, DancingEel, BIGMAN, new 3, Pearl and Marina

Cap’n Jr.: is that not everyone?

Dedf1sh: we’re missing 7 and 9

Cap’n Jr.: shit hold on

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. added EnbyBraids and Singular Man

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Singular Man has joined the chatroom. 

EnbyBraids: I AM DISGUSTED

EnbyBraids: I AM REVOLTED 

EnbyBraids: I DEDICATE MY ENTIRE LIFE TO OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR THE SPLATFEST GOD

EnbyBraids: AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET?!

MC.Princess: I thought you were atheist 

Singular Man: xe is, xe’s just meming 

SharkWhisperer: Enby friend?!

EnbyBraids: Yes!

Cap’n Jr.: Sorry 

Singular Man: it’s fine

DancingEels: do we want to do names/ titles and pronouns?

DJ_Hyperfresh: That’s a good idea

Webmaster: BombRushBlush has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Agent 2 has joined the chatroom. 

Agent 2: Hi sorry we were in a kettle

BombRushBlush: Roll call sounds great! Should we go in order?

Cap’n Jr.: Sure. New order?

BombRushBlush: Old order! You as 3!

Cap’n Jr.: alright

Agent 3 Jr.: betrayal /j

BombRushBlush: lol sry Three. Anyways, Hi! My name’s Callie. I’m Agent 1 and my pronouns are she/her!

Agent 2: I’m Marie. Agent 2, as you can see and she/they

Cap’n Jr.: Hi I’m the Captain, formerly Agent 3. I respond to Three still so if you call the other Three I might respond by accident. You can call me Captain, Cap’n, Captain 3, and other nicknames if you know me well. I use she/her as well 

TriEye:  Hi, I'm Agent 4! You can use Four or Agent 4. I hate people using it but anyone other than the other three agents before me can call me Ma’am in more formal situations but blehhhhhhhhh to that otherwise. The agents that have met me before today have a multitude of different names from me including “The Mom Friend (Second To Marie)”. She/her pronouns please!

TriEye: Sorry that was long

Cap’n Jr.: It’s fine. Mine was too.

MC.Princess: Wassup?! My name’s Pearl! I’m part of Off the Hook and I’m Agent 5. Rina and I are dating and helped 8 with her shit. She/her

DJ_Hyperfresh: Hello! I’m Marina! I’m the DJ for Off the Hook and I’m Agent 6 of the NSS. Pearlie and I are in fact dating. I use she/her pronouns

EnbyBraids: Helloooooo! I’m agent 7. 9 and I are the newest agents no more! I use xe/xer pronouns but they/them also works. 

R8ller: hello! I’m Agent 8. I don’t really have a preference between you using my real or agent name, so you can call me Eight or Hanna if you like. I use She/her pronouns. 

Singular Man: hi I’m agent 9. No I’m not single, I’m just the only male agent. 7 and I kinda joined up together and usually pair up for missions. That doesn’t mean we’re not open to working with other people tho. I use he/him pronouns. 

Dedf1sh: hi! My name’s Ahato. Im not an official agent but I work with the NSS. Hanna and I are dating and share an apartment in Inkopolis and we’ll often hang with Cap’n and Four in our free time. I use she/they pronouns. 

Cap’n Jr.: thats the last of our pre splatsville group. Three wanna go next? Then deep cut?

Agent 3 Jr.: ya sure gimme a second to type this up

TriEye: take your time

Agent 3 Jr.: hello! Im the new three! There have been mentions of my number changing to 10 so the seniority isn’t messed up but for now im agent 3. You can call me Three or Neo as Callie has dubbed me. I have a smallfry who’s kinda my sidekick. His name is Anan. I actually live in Inkopolis and was on vacation here in the splatlands for summer vacay while schools out. Common Inkling isn’t my first language so sorry if I fumble over my words or don’t know what something means. I use she/her pronouns. Sorry this is really long

DancingEels: Hi my name is Frye. Im a member of Deep Cut! We’re the new band that’s been doing the news and battle rotations in Splatsville. After what happened with the fuzzy ooze and stuff we work for Marie. Im sure we can go into more detail about that later! Anyways my pronouns are she/her

SharkWhisperer: gonna keep this short and sweet! Hi im Shiver. Im the octoling of deep cut and I like sharks. Im gay af for Frye and Big man. My pronouns are they/them. 

BIGMAN: hello im Big Man. Im a manta ray and the third member of deep cut. My pronouns are he/him. I may not be an agent but at least 9 isn’t alone anymore. 

Singular Man: FINALLY!!!!!!!

EnbyBraids: lol

TriEye: wow there are a lot of us now

Cap’n Jr.: ya

Agent 3 Jr.: I know someone in my school who uses xe/xer pronouns. I actually considered them a bit while going through my gender crisis lol. Same person also wears braids funnily enough. 

EnbyBraids: ?!

EnbyBraids: what school do you go to?

Agent 3 Jr.: Coraline College 

EnbyBraids: Same!

Singular Man: we both do. 

Singular Man: 20 questions to see if you know who we are. Yes or no questions only. Go

Agent 3 Jr.: wow ok

Dedf1sh: this is amusing 

Agent 3 Jr.: are you an inkling

Singular Man: yes

EnbyBraids: no

Agent 3 Jr.: okkkkkkk

Agent 3 Jr.: 7 are you an octoling

EnbyBraids: nope 

Agent 3 Jr.: Cuttling?

EnbyBraids: yep

Agent 3 Jr.: are you in your fourth year at CC

Singular Man: yes

EnbyBraids: yeppers 

Agent 3 Jr.: 9 do you have vitiligo 

Singular Man: yes I do

Agent 3 Jr.: not an actual question. Just wanted to check if I can say your real names on here

EnbyBraids: oh ya sure go ahead

Singular Man: we’re chill

R8ller: =O name drop?

Agent 3 Jr.: is 7 Phoenix and 9 Eli?

EnbyBraids: DINGALINGALING

EnbyBraids: congrats. Ya did it 

Agent 2: hey Marina can you update the files

DJ_Hyperfresh: already on it

Singular Man: wait what?

Agent 2: don’t worry about it

Singular Man: okkkkkkk

EnbyBraids: you gonna let us guess who u are 3?

Agent 3 Jr.: I mean you could try but no one really knows me

Agent 3 Jr.: I kinda sit at the back of the class and don’t talk to anyone

EnbyBraids: have we talked before?

Agent 3 Jr.: maybe in the caf line once??? I’m not really sure. Mostly I just people watch. 

Singular Man: fair. Makes sense how you got our names so fast. Maybe we’ll see you when you come back to Inkopolis. Then maybe we can match a name to a face. 

Agent 3 Jr.: maybe!

TriEye: y’know… I’m going to the splatlands soon and Hanna, Ahato and oth are staying here. The two of you could tag along

Singular Man: we’d love to but we’re stuck here while the school board figures out Phoenix’s paperwork 

EnbyBraids: again! This happens every year! When they start the new semester and update student accounts and class lists, they always flag me as being wrong

EnbyBraids: I have two last names. One is my birth one and the other was given to me by the city when I went into the group home. 

EnbyBraids: the city always uses the one they gave me, but I’m usually in the school board under my original one cuz that’s what my guardians put me in as. Plus it’s the one I prefer. 

EnbyBraids: and all my birth ids and stuff died in a fire when I was three so I can’t change my legal name with the city

EnbyBraids: sorry that was a lot. It is just so frustrating that this happens every time!

R8ller: oof i get ya

R8ller: lot of octos, including me and rina, weren’t in touch with our parents so we didn’t have any of our own documents 

Dedf1sh: I still don’t have mine. Makes getting into schools really hard

BombRushBlush: I’m sure we could talk to the government when we’re back in Inkopolis. We were able to get Ahato, Hanna and Marina documents before. 

EnbyBraids: oh squit really?

Agent 2: sure. We can figure out the specifics later but we could definitely get you some documents. 

EnbyBraids: SHELL YA!

Singular Man: that would help so much. Xe gets really stressed at the beginning of each semester 

Agent 2: also feel free to veto answering this, but why were you in a group home? I have a feeling I know why

EnbyBraids: no it’s totally fine. Cuttling attacks. My village was taken out when I was 3. I was the only member of my fam who made it out.

EnbyBraids: it’s also how I lost my leg

SharkWhisperer: hold on. LOST YOUR LEG?!

EnbyBraids: yep. I have a prosthetic that I built in place of it. 

DancingEels: that’s so cool! Can u send a pic?

EnbyBraids: sure hold on

EnbyBraids: theleg.png

SharkWhisperer: HOLY CARP

DancingEels: That’s so cool!

SharkWhisperer: HOW DOES IT WORK

BIGMAN: it’s so beautiful and detailed! You said you made it yourself?

EnbyBraids: Yes I did! I’ve been fascinated by tech and machinery since I was little. 

EnbyBraids: in terms of how it works, luck, tinkering and science. Also a lot of trial and error. Do you want the details?

SharkWhisperer: UES PLEASE 

SharkWhisperer: *yes

DJ_Hyperfresh: im quite interested about this as well

EnbyBraids: ok so there are a few parts that make my leg work. 

EnbyBraids: inside the leg is a strong hydraulic joint system that allows for my ankle, knee and even my toes to move. And it’s shock absorbent! It’s also compact enough to put clothes or shoes overtop of it. 

EnbyBraids: next is the wiring. It kinda works like nerves. They allow me to activate everything so I can move around

EnbyBraids: the metal the leg is made of is special too! It conducts the electrical signals super well, but doesn’t create shocks or friction on its own. Getting it near an open source of electricity is baddddd though. If it gets shocked it can overload the circuits. It’s like, 10 times worse than it would normally be. It’s waterproof tho

DancingEels: at least you can’t feel it

EnbyBraids: I can tho

DancingEels: wait what

EnbyBraids: LAST BUT NOT LEAST

Agent 3 Jr.: how is that even possible?

EnbyBraids: ✨the connection✨

Singular Man: where all your questions will be answered 

EnbyBraids: I have a metal casing around my stump. I also have a port that it fits into on the leg. The casing on my stump is permanent and waterproof and all the good things. It’s also directly connected to my nerves there. 

EnbyBraids: there are electromagnetic locks that keep my leg on when activated. Once it’s secure, I activate the electric signals and it allows me to feel everything in my leg. 

SharkWhisperer: wow. That is incredible 

DJ_Hyperfresh: now I want to go over and look at it 

EnbyBraids: Eli and I are at the cabin right now and it needs a tune up. I’d be happy to have help

DJ_Hyperfresh: I will see you soon then. Bye!

Webmaster: DJ_Hyperfresh has left the chatroom. 

MC.Princess: I’m gonna join Rina. See ya

Webmaster: MC.Princess has left the chatroom. 

R8ller: bye rina, bye pearl 

TriEye: do we just want to all head to the cabin? 

Dedf1sh: sure. Hanna and I will meet you over there. Bye new people!

R8ller: kk we’ll sys Four. Bye newbies!

Webmaster: Dedf1sh has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: R8ller has left the chatroom. 

Cap’n Jr.: ok have fun. Four can you call tonight?

TriEye: of course! I’ll send photos too!

Cap’n Jr.: please do. Miss you

TriEye: miss you too! Ich liebe dich

Cap’n Jr.: Ich liebe dich

Webmaster: TriEye has left the chatroom. 

DancingEels: what does that mean? Something in octarian?

SharkWhisperer: that’s not octarian 

BombRushBlush: tbh we have no clue

EnbyBraids: three and four have been talking to each other in different languages that none of know since we met

Singular Man: the others just got here so we’re gonna bounce. 

Agent 2: have fun

BombRushBlush: byeeeee!!!

Webmaster: Singular Man has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has left the chatroom. 

Agent 3 Jr.: it’s weird. That language sounds familiar. Or that phrase at least 

BIGMAN: is it similar to your native language?

Agent 3 Jr.: ha! Nooooooo

Agent 3 Jr.: I’ve never seen those words in my life

Agent 3 Jr.: I just have a nagging feeling in the back of my head that I’ve heard it somewhere before

DancingEels: Weird

Cap’n Jr.: Weird indeed. I only know a few people who speak the language. Four and I are the only two who live anywhere close to Inkopolis or the splatlands who know it.

SharkWhisperer: So there are more people who use it?

Cap’n Jr.: Ya. Friends and family of mine. 

SharkWhisperer: ah

Cap’n Jr.: anyways, that’s a mystery for later. Why don’t we meet back at camp 

BombRushBlush: Sounds good to me!

Agent 2: See you soon. Are you already there Cap?

Cap’n Jr.: Actually no. I was out getting groceries. I’m heading over with them now

BombRushBlush: okie dokie! Sys…

Agent 3 Jr.: omw now

BombRushBlush: …grapes

Cap’n Jr.: …

Agent 2: oh noooooooo. You’ve doomed yourself

BIGMAN: what’s wrong?

Cap’n Jr.: CALLIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Cap’n Jr.: YOU ARE SO GETTING SPLATTED FOR THAT!!!

Agent 2: I promise to attend your funeral

BombRushBlush: Cap’ll just splat me. It’s fine

Agent 2: Considering the fact that her eye is glowing, I don’t know about that

SharkWhisperer: the Captain’s eye glows?

Agent 2: when she’s hella pissed, ya

BombRushBlush: ohhhh squitttttt

BombRushBlush: Marie protect me please!

Agent 2: no can do cuz

BombRushBlush: clammit where even is shkjdfhgjdfbg

Webmaster: BombRushBlush has left the chatroom. 

Agent 2: lmao i’m gonna film this. Callie just got sniped

Webmaster: Agent 2 has left the chatroom.

Agent 3 Jr.: I GOT THE SHOT ON CAMERA! Nice aim Cap’n!

Cap’n Jr.: Thanks. Can’t wait to watch it later. Send it to me?

Agent 3 Jr.: of course!

Agent 3 Jr.: SNIPED!.mp4

DancingEels: oh nice! You’re really good with a charger, Cap!

Cap’n Jr.: why thank you! I’m gonna hop off. See you all in a sec

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has left the chatroom. 

Agent 3 Jr.: I think we all should. We’ll see you in a sec

BIGMAN: sounds good

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: BIGMAN has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: DancingEels has left the chatroom. 

SharkWhisperer: bye

Webmaster: SharkWhisperer has left the chatroom. 

Chapter Text

NSS Chat

(6:45 AM)

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Webmaster: R8ller has joined the chatroom. 

R8ller: gooood morning party people!

R8ller: guess who’s travelling on short noticeeeeee

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

Agent 3 Jr.: you?

R8ller: yep!

Webmaster: DancingEels has joined the chatroom. 

DancingEels: are you coming to splatsville?

DancingEels: also why are you texting so early

Webmaster: DJ_Hyperfresh has joined the chatroom. 

R8ller: it’s not that early

DancingEels: it’s not even 7

R8ller: ya. I’ve been up for over an hour

DancingEels: why?!

DJ_Hyperfresh: agents are usually required to wake with or before the sun, so most of us wake up at 5:30

DancingEels: wow that sucks

DJ_Hyperfresh: but no. Hanna and I aren’t going to the splatlands. We’re going to the empire

Webmaster: SharkWhisperer has joined the chatroom. 

SharkWhisperer: YOU’RE GOING TO THE EMPIRE????? That’s a couple of weeks' journey!

R8ller: not when your parents have airships coming to pick you up 

SharkWhisperer: they have what now

DJ_Hyperfresh: they have airships to bring us over there. We’re getting picked up from Pearl’s and my place since there’s a helipad they can use. 

Webmaster: Dedf1sh has joined the chatroom. 

Dedf1sh: I’m going to be keeping Pearl company for the day or two they’re away. 

R8ller: sorry baby. We have no choice

Dedf1sh: I know! It’s fine! We don’t mind. 

MC.Princess: we haven’t been able to hang out in a while. 

DJ_Hyperfresh: please don’t destroy the house while we’re gone. 

Dedf1sh: we won’t. I’ll make sure Pearl doesn’t 

DJ_Hyperfresh: thank you Ahato. I trust you more than her

MC.Princess: betrayal!!!

R8ller: tbh you are a little gremlin that has committed many crimes

MC.Princess: …

Dedf1sh: don’t even try to deny it. 

MC.Princess: at least I’m not alone. 4 is also very gremlin

Webmaster: TriEye has joined the chatroom. 

TriEye: EXCUSE ME?!

R8ller: lol. You’ve unleashed her wrath 

Agent 3 Jr.: good morning 4

TriEye: BEING SHORT DOESN'T MAKE ME A GREMLIN

TriEye: good morning!

Dedf1sh: 4 is more of the mom friend 

R8ller: definitely 

TriEye: better than gremlin but Marie is more of the mom friend than me

DancingEels: Marie has been like the wine aunt since we met her

SharkWhisperer: ya she’s never been a mom friend since we’ve known her

MC.Princess: trust me. She is the mom friend. But 4 is a close second

Webmaster: BIGMAN has joined the chatroom. 

BIGMAN: What has Agent 4 done to be considered the mom friend?

R8ller: haha! Let me tell you

TriEye: Hanna, no. 

R8ller: let me get my list

TriEye: HANNA I WILL STICK YOU ON DISHWASHING DUTY FOR TWO WEEKS AFTER YOU GET BACK 

R8ller: example #1

TriEye: HANNA

R8ller: babying the captain when we got back from Kamabo and her leg was fucked up

Dedf1sh: gay

TriEye: I was the only one who could touch her for 2 weeks after. What was I supposed to do?!

SharkWhisperer: gay you say?

Dedf1sh: from what I’ve heard. I wasn’t there at the time

MC.Princess: I can confirm, it was very gay

DancingEels: is the captain gay?

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

Cap’n Jr.: yes. I’m lesbian

DancingEels: cool

R8ller: Example #2! Making lunches for everyone who went to school so they didn’t need to waste their money on shitty caf food

Dedf1sh: they were delicious and greatly appreciated 

TriEye: thank you Ahato 

R8ller: Example #3! She learned in depth first aid after the captain came back injured. Now she’s the person we mostly go to if we get banged up. She’ll also pull as aside and patch us up if we’re overworking ourselves

DJ_Hyperfresh: we have some stubborn agents who don’t know when to take a break

R8ller: example #4 which will be our last for today: helps with breakdowns and communication issues! She’s a great listener and helps a lot when we get overwhelmed. She’s great with homework help and will try to make us less stressed in any way she can

R8ller: So thank you 4! You and the captain are like big sisters to me and Ahato and we love you tons! Thanks for always being there for us!

SharkWhisperer: awwwww. That’s actually really sweet

TriEye: thank you! You are no longer on two week long dish duty. I’m giving you all the hugs when you get back

Dedf1sh: I’ll pass some along

Cap’n Jr.: she’s right, you know. You’re incredible 

TriEye: cod clammit you’re all making me cry

BIGMAN: don’t cry!

TriEye: they’re happy tears, don’t worry

Agent 3 Jr.: wow this is the best job ever. 

DJ_Hyperfresh: agreed

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Singular Man has joined the chatroom.

EnbyBraids: we love you 4!

Singular Man: We really do. Best family we could have asked for. 

EnbyBraids: also Tw sisters, mind saying hi to your mom for me? Also tell her to answer my messages!

R8ller: will do

DancingEels: So wait, Marina and Hanna are sisters?

DJ_Hyperfresh: yes. I’m four years older than Hanna

Agent 3 Jr.: wait. Your last name is Takowasa?

R8ller: how’d you get that? 

Agent 3 Jr.: Phoenix called you the Tw sisters. You are two octolings who have access to airships to come pick them up plus the fact that the queen should have stepped down by now but hasn’t, meaning her children deserted. Neither of you live in the empire. Tw is usually the short form used for the family in notation. Yada yada yada

MC.Princess: holy shit

SharkWhisperer: YOU’RE THE PRINCESSES?!!!!

R8ller: hey look there’s the airship. Ttyl byeeeeee

Webmaster: R8ller has left the chatroom. 

TriEye: yaaaa that’s to be expected. I guess the newbies haven’t seen photos of Hanna yet

DancingEels: no, why

Cap’n Jr.: she wears a golden hair pin from the family

SharkWhisperer: Baikara

Cap’n Jr.: they’re both chill, as are the king and queen nowadays 

EnbyBraids: y’all got off easy with fighting Octavio 

DJ_Hyperfresh: Hanna and I weren’t on the same side as our parents when they were attacking innocent civilians and stealing the great zapfish (at least not under our own will) 

DJ_Hyperfresh: our issues with them have become… minimal. But tbh not many people here are on good terms with their parents

Webmaster: Agent 2 has joined the chatroom.  

Webmaster: BombRushBlush has joined the chatroom. 

Agent 2: indeed

MC.Princess: everyone who has a shitty relationship with at least one of their parents say I

Singular Man: I

MC.Princess: I

Cap’n Jr.: I

TriEye: I

Agent 3 Jr.: I

EnbyBraids: my parents r dead. I guess that’s shitty. I 

SharkWhisperer: I 

Agent 2: if we’re counting dead parents, I

Dedf1sh: idk where the fuck my family is. I

BIGMAN: wow

DJ_Hyperfresh: Hanna and I would have said I about a year ago. 

BombRushBlush: same here

DancingEels: wow big man and I are the only two without family issues 

Cap’n Jr.: congrats

DJ_Hyperfresh: The airship is actually here now so I have to log off. We won’t have much signal while in the empire so we’ll only be able to chat with Agents with badges. Hanna’s bringing her’s.

Cap’n Jr.: alright then. Safe travels you two

TriEye: byeeeeeeee

EnbyBraids: bye! Get your mom to message me if the badge doesn’t work

DJ_Hyperfresh: will do

Webmaster: R8ller had joined the chatroom.

R8ller: Bye everyone!

BombRushBlush: bye! Have a good flight!

Agent 2: message us when you land

Agent 3 Jr.:  bye!

DancingEels: Tell us about it when you get back

BIGMAN: Stay safe!

SharkWhisperer: Bye!

Webmaster: DJ_Hyperfresh has left the chatroom.

Webmaster: R8ller has left the chatroom.

Dedf1sh: we gave them lots of hugs and kisses

BombRushBlush: good! 

DancingEels: gay

Dedf1sh: yes. Almost everyone here is gay

Cap’n Jr.: unless the newbies are cishet, we’re all gay. I think

SharkWhisperer: Really?! Frye, Big Man and I are all LGBTQ+. Mind if I ask what everyone is? 

BombRushBlush: I think all of us are out of the closet so sure! If anyone’s not comfortable we can skip.

BombRushBlush: I’m bi and cisfem

Agent 2: pan and demigirl

Cap’n Jr.: Lesbian like I said. I’m also cis

MC.Princess: I’m lesbian. Rina’s bi. Both of us are cis

Dedf1sh: hanna and I are lesbian. Hanna’s cis, im enby

TriEye: Bi and cis

EnbyBraids: Enby, omni and polyamorous 

Singular Man: bi, cis and polyamorous, but i’m not out to my fam

DancingEels: cis, bi and poly

SharkWhisperer: Enby, pan and poly

BIGMAN: cis, pan, demiromantic, asexual and polyamorous.

Agent 3 Jr.: trans, pan and poly! Choosing your own name is fun

EnbyBraids: I bet. My parents gave me a gender neutral name that I liked so I kept it. But it does sound fun

Agent 3 Jr.: I wanted a name from my culture and I wanted it to mean something. Mine means cloud and champion. I found it fitting because I was born with white tentacles. 

Singular Man: is it a common name or is it fancy? 

Agent 3 Jr.: I don't know what counts as “fancy” but it has an accent. It’s not common

Singular Man: you hear that Phoe?

EnbyBraids: looking it up now. 

DancingEels: what?

Singular Man: we’re trying to find Neo’s name

EnbyBraids: I’m looking at the enrollment list. 

Agent 3 Jr.: ha. Good luck with finding me on there. 

EnbyBraids: NO ONE ON THIS LIST HAS AN ACCENT IN THEIR NAME

Agent 3 Jr.: you will find my name not!

Agent 3 Jr.: that grammar seems wrong 

Singular Man: “you will not find my name” or “you will never find my name”. Put the negative after the positive. Or, conjugate to “won’t”

Agent 3 Jr.: thanks! 

Singular Man: np! 

BIGMAN: you said common inkling isn’t your first language, right?

Agent 3 Jr.: yea. It’s actually my third. 

Cap’n Jr.: what are the languages you know?

Agent 3 Jr.: this might shorten Phoe and Eli’s search (is it ok if I call you Phoe?). My first language is called Salci. Not a lot of people in Inkopolis speak it. My second is octarian. I know a bit of sign, but those 2 and common are the only ones I’m fluent in. 

TriEye: how’d you learn octarian before common?

Agent 3 Jr.: I lived in an octarian community for a couple of years when I was younger

SharkWhisperer: oh cool! 

EnbyBraids: AHAH! SALCI NAMES MEANING CLOUD AND CHAMPION 

EnbyBraids: Nyala? Also yes it’s fine

Agent 3 Jr.: ohhhh you’re so close

BombRushBlush: needs an accent 

Agent 3 Jr.: right name, wrong spelling. 

EnbyBraids: Nyála??????

Agent 3 Jr.: damn you have one letter wrong 

Agent 3 Jr.: what’s another letter that makes a y sound in some languages 

Singular Man: j? 

Agent 3 Jr.: YAAAAAA

EnbyBraids: Njála?

Agent 3 Jr.: yes!

Dedf1sh: how d’you pronounce that?

Agent 3 Jr.: think Nya like a cat and then la. Nya-la

BombRushBlush: pretty! 

Singular Man: holy squit

Singular Man: you’re the nightmare 

Singular Man: YOU’RE THE NIGHTMARE 

Agent 3 Jr.: yerp 

MC.Princess: The what now

Agent 3 Jr.: nickname from school

Agent 3 Jr.: no one really knows my face, but they’ve heard stories of ‘the nightingale girl’ who causes nightmares for anyone who crosses her path. 

EnbyBraids: basically an urban legend among our school

Agent 3 Jr.: can you put a name to a face?

Singular Man: sadly no unless we find your school photo 

EnbyBraids: FOUND IT!

EnbyBraids: ohhhhhh you're so pretty!!!

Cap’n Jr.: don’t antagonize Njála 

Agent 3 Jr.: it’s fine. I was about to change the subject anyways. But thanks

Agent 3 Jr.: cap, do you only speak not over text to anyone other than Marie 

TriEye: le gasp

TriEye: sweet, sweet, beautiful Captain

TriEye: are you being shyyyy

Cap’n Jr.: um… 

Agent 2: oh ya. She doesn’t talk to anyone but me Callie and gramps

TriEye: Classic 

BombRushBlush: don’t worry newbies. Cap is just a shy, antisocial baby 

Cap’n Jr.: and just like that, my sister, cousin and girlfriend are harassing me 

SharkWhisperer: girlfriend?!

SharkWhisperer: also are you related to the squid sisters?

Agent 2: Callie’s dad basically adopted her

BombRushBlush: Cap just mentioned the gay

Agent 3 Jr.: we know she is gay, but not much more than that

DancingEels: also calling her sweet is a long shot. She’s been giving us death glares since we arrived

TriEye: as someone who’s known her for almost a decade now, I can tell you that she can be very sweet. 

TriEye: I love her with all my heart

EnbyBraids: gay gay homosexual gay

TriEye: the words I hear in my head when we’re apart

BombRushBlush: *wheeze*

Cap’n Jr.: I’m gonna clear this up right now. Four and I are dating. We have been for years

BIGMAN: that’s very sweet! How old were you when you got together if you don’t mind me asking. 

TriEye: we were 15

Cap’n Jr.: but we needed to hide it because our parents DID NOT approve 

TriEye: ya they’re shit

Cap’n Jr.: anyways I’m gonna drop. I need to get some paperwork done. 

TriEye: alright. I love you! Can we call tonight?

Cap’n Jr.: yes! I can’t wait for you to be here in person

TriEye: 3 more days!!!

Agent 3 Jr.: if you need help with anything I’ve got nothing to do

Cap’n Jr.: sure. Meet me at the camp. Cal and Mar are off doing their own thing right now so I could use the help. 

Agent 3 Jr.: kk. Sys

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has left the chatroom. 

BIGMAN: we need to go announce stage rotation so we’re going to drop too. 

Agent 2: were also gonna drop. Have fun 

BombRushBlush: byeeee

Webmaster: Agent 2 has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: BombRushBlush has left the chatroom.

Webmaster: DancingEels has left the chatroom.

Webmaster: SharkWhisperer has left the chatroom.

Webmaster: BIGMAN has left the chatroom.

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has left the chatroom.

Dedf1sh: byeeeeeeeeeeee

MC.Princess: hey 4, any news from Rina and Hanna?

TriEye: not yet. 

TriEye: I’m packing for my trip but I was about to head to the cabin

EnbyBraids: Eli and I are already there

Dedf1sh: Pearl and I were planning on heading over. Meet you there? 

TriEye: sure

MC.Princess: k we’ll see you soon 

Webmaster: MC.Princess has left the chatroom.

Webmaster: Dedf1sh has left the chatroom.

TriEye: bye 

Webmaster: TriEye has left the chatroom.

EnbyBraids: one maca two maca three Macarena 

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has left the chatroom.

Singular Man: I stole xer phone to log xer off. Sys

Webmaster: Singular Man has left the chatroom.

Chapter Text

NSS Chat

(7:00 AM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Webmaster: TriEye has joined the chatroom. 

TriEye: good morning! Rina and Hanna send their love

Webmaster: Dedf1sh has joined the chatroom. 

Dedf1sh: Gm! How are they doing?

TriEye: they’re doing good but they’re bored

TriEye: but everything’s wrapping up so they’re heading back tmrw

Dedf1sh: yayyyy!!!

TriEye: also the queen and king say hi to you, Pearl, cal, mar and Phoe

Dedf1sh: hello!!!

TriEye: also the king said to say hi to Njála for him

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

Agent 3 Jr.: hi Octavio! 

Dedf1sh: how do you know Octavio?

Agent 3 Jr.: he helped us defeat Grizz

TriEye: dope

Webmaster: SharkWhisperer has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: DancingEels has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: BIGMAN has joined the chatroom. 

DancingEels: Gooooodd morrrrrningggg

Agent 3 Jr.: hey guys!

SharkWhisperer: hi!

BIGMAN: hello! I have a question for Ms. Four. 

TriEye: and I might have an answer. Go ahead. 

TriEye: also you don’t need to be so formal :)

BIGMAN: Alright! I was looking back at our introductions and I noticed that one of your titles was ‘ma’am’. I know you said it was for formal situations only, but why do you have that title?

TriEye: ohhhhhhh

Dedf1sh: cus she’s one of the main 5

Dedf1sh: also gm

SharkWhisperer: main 5?

Agent 3 Jr.: I’ve heard them mentioned but I don’t know who they are exactly

TriEye: the main 5 is Callie, Marie, Cap, me and Hanna

Dedf1sh: for anyone who’s familiar with octarian ranking, think of them as elites. They’re the bosses. 

TriEye: I’m in charge of the Inkopolis group while Cal, Mar and Cap are in the Splatlands. Hanna is in charge of octarian communications 

Webmaster: MC.Princess has joined the chatroom. 

DancingEels: hey Pearl

MC.Princess: hey. Ya cap and four have both taken down Octavio. They freed the octarians. Hanna stopped a crazy A.I. from destroying Inkopolis. 

MC.Princess: plus they’re all like crazy good at what they do and have been here a while

Dedf1sh: they’re the top five in rank

BIGMAN: What is the rank order?

TriEye: gimme a sec to type it out

DancingEels: kk

TriEye: Cap, Cal, Mar, me, Hanna, Pearl, Marina, Phoenix, Eli, Njála 

TriEye: Ahato is currently acting as an advisor, but they aren’t a full agent yet

DancingEels: why not?

Dedf1sh: I was sick for a while. The condition I had gave me amnesia. When I was finally fully cured, I got a lot of my memories back. 

Dedf1sh: ones of being raised in the domes and being trained as a soldier in particular. 

SharkWhisperer: ohhhhhhh

Dedf1sh: I didn’t like the prospect of being an agent for a while, but being with the NSS for around 4 years now, I’m starting to like the idea more and more

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

Cap’n Jr.: that’s great! Tell us when you're ready and we can start you up. 

Cap’n Jr.: on a related note, is deep cut online rn

BIGMAN: we are indeed 

DancingEels: yo

SharkWhisperer: morning cap 

Cap’n Jr.: great. How would you like to become agents?

DancingEels: say what now?!

Cap’n Jr.: you are skilled fighters, a good team and you helped us save the world. Plus you already work for Marie. 

TriEye: so, how’d you like to learn to fight the unjust in this world?

DancingEels: Yes! I’m in if you two are

SharkWhisperer: same here. My ink might be a problem though. 

Dedf1sh: why’s that?

SharkWhisperer: I have albinism. I can’t really change my ink colour. We have to fake it for all the splatfests

DancingEels: you can have invisible ink though! They can choose to not put pigment in their ink. It’s super cool. 

SharkWhisperer: but I wouldn’t be able to match you guys normally. I can change my pigment slightly, but it’s all very light shades. 

Cap’n Jr.: I don’t think we’ll need to worry about that. We have a little trick that lets us keep our own colours while still working together. 

SharkWhisperer: oh! Alright then. We’d be happy to join

BIGMAN: Actually, I’m with Ahato on this one. I’m not a good fighter. I don’t like the idea of hurting people. 

Cap’n Jr.: that’s perfectly fine. If you’re not up for it, we understand.

TriEye: We could always use some help from base. Advisors don’t have agent authority, but they help us out a lot.

Dedf1sh: I run over files, help with reports, keep tabs on factions that we’re wary of. It can be a lot of fun and you are still close to the group without being on the front lines

Dedf1sh: besides, we’re gonna need a new advisor to take my place when i do become an agent

BIGMAN: That sounds perfect!

Cap’n Jr.: wonderful! We’ll give you the official welcome later, but welcome to the team!

TriEye: confetti popper noises

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has joined the chatroom.

EnbyBraids: welcome!!!!!!

MC.Princess: congrats. Come join the chaos

Dedf1sh: lol

Webmaster: Agent 2 has joined the chatroom.

Webmaster: BombRushBlush has joined the chatroom.

Agent 2: Welcome to the team

BombRushBlush: yayyyy!!!

EnbyBraids: Eli’s phone is charging, but he says welcome!

EnbyBraids: do we know what numbers they’ll be?

Agent 2: we still need to discuss that. The cap has… concerns. 

TriEye: ? Everything ok darling?

Cap’n Jr.: I’m fine! Just stressed and overworked. 

Cap’n Jr.: the whole thing here was hard and family stuff is a lot. 

TriEye: oh ya. I’ve been checking up with them. Your brother is… managing, but I’ve been giving him a bit of help

Cap’n Jr.: cod I love you. 2 more days 

TriEye: 2 more days

Agent 3 Jr.: ah sry. I was running through the new kettle again so I couldn’t look at my phone. Just got to brunch with deep cut. I’m gonna scroll through and respond 

MC.Princess: kk. Take ur time

Agent 3 Jr.: ok. Cap and 4 fighting Octavio explains the tension. 

Agent 3 Jr.: Same here Ahato. I’ve been sick since I was a kid. I know how you feel

Dedf1sh: really? 

Agent 3 Jr.: ya. It’s caused some problems and there isn’t a cure we know of. Also like, no one else I know has this.

EnbyBraids: weird

Agent 3 Jr.: ya. Anyways…

Agent 3 Jr.: wait. Crazy A.I.?

Cap’n Jr.: yep. Tried to destroy all of Inkopolis. 

Agent 3 Jr.: did they have a name?

Cap’n Jr.: yep. It’s TarTar

DancingEels: hey Njála, u ok? She’s just frozen staring at her phone

TriEye: you ok?

SharkWhisperer: she’s muttering in octarian. 

MC.Princess: what’s she saying?

SharkWhisperer: she’s saying “he’s gone” over and over again. She’s crying now. 

Cap’n Jr.: shit. Where are you right now 

DancingEels: we’re in the café on top of the lobby. 

Cap’n Jr.: I’ll be there soon. Set her phone away from her and keep her up. 

DancingEels: we got her phone. Big Man is holding her. She’s crying really hard. 

TriEye: Cap, please say you’re almost there 

Cap’n Jr.: I’m in the elevator now. Almost there

DancingEels: thank cod 

SharkWhisperer: Cap’n’s got her. She’s trying to get her attention 

DancingEels: I think we’re good 

DancingEels: shit

Agent 2: what happened 

BombRushBlush: is Njála ok?

Cap’n Jr.: she fainted. I’m gonna take her back to camp

BIGMAN: I’m going to sign her off. 

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has left the chatroom. 

SharkWhisperer: do you need help? We can get someone else to announce the stage change

Agent 2: we’ll be ok. We’ve had this happen before. Not with her, but with others. 

BombRushBlush: it’s kind of a trend at this point

Cap’n Jr.: I really wish Four was here right now

TriEye: I’ll talk with her when I get there 

Cap’n Jr.: I’m going to sign off so I can get us back quickly. I’ll talk to you later, my love. 

TriEye: alright. I love you. Keep her safe

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has left the chatroom. 

Agent 2: we’re gonna follow them. 

BombRushBlush: ttyl

TriEye: ok. I’m going to finish packing for my trip. 

DancingEels: we need to go do the news. We’ll see you soon. 

Webmaster: DancingEels has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: BIGMAN has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: SharkWhisperer has left the chatroom. 

EnbyBraids: I have a meeting with the school admin. I’m gonna sign off too. 

TriEye: alright. Bye. 

Webmaster: Agent 2 has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: BombRushBlush has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has left the chatroom. 

MC.Princess: Ahato and I are going to run some errands. 

Dedf1sh: we’ll see you at dinner!

TriEye: see you at dinner!

Webmaster: MC.Princess has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Dedf1sh has left the chatroom. 

TriEye: feel better Njála 

Webmaster: TriEye has left the chatroom. 

********************

Cap’n Jr. & TriEye

(8:30 AM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Webmaster: TriEye has joined the chatroom. 

TriEye: hey

TriEye: is she awake yet

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr.: has joined the chatroom. 

Cap’n Jr.: not yet. We got her set up in the bed. 

TriEye: ok. 

TriEye: are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Cap’n Jr.: recognised a human language, lived with octarians for a few years, unusual sickness, knowledge of Tari 

TriEye: she’s sanitized 

Cap’n Jr.: oh absolutely. Can you find her file

TriEye: on it. And I’ve alerted TarTar

Cap’n Jr.: great. We can talk about it in person too. 

TriEye: Yes! I’m so excited to see you. 

Cap’n Jr.: same here my love

Cap’n Jr.: I’ll keep an eye on our little sister.

TriEye: good. Let’s make sure to bring her back home

TriEye: I love you

Cap’n Jr.: I love you too. Sooooo much.

Cap’n Jr.: she’s waking up. I’m going to keep it chill for now. See you soon

TriEye: Bye!!!

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has left the chatroom.

Webmaster: TriEye has left the chatroom.

Chapter Text

NSS Chat

(8:45 AM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

Agent 3 Jr.: hi 

Webmaster: Agent 2 has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: BombRushBlush has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

BombRushBlush: crisis averted! 

Webmaster: TriEye has joined the chatroom. 

TriEye: oh thank cod 

TriEye: how are you feeling

Agent 3 Jr.: much better. Thanks for asking. 

Agent 3 Jr.: I’m still in bed per Marie’s orders, but I’m sitting up and drinking water

TriEye: good. Get some food in your belly too if you can

Agent 2: cap’s making her something to eat right now. 

TriEye: oooo yum. Her food is always delicious 

BombRushBlush: agreed

Agent 3 Jr.: I can’t wait to try it

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Singular Man has joined the chatroom. 

EnbyBraids: you’re up!!!

Singular Man: welcome back

EnbyBraids: panic attacks get all of us. Glad you’re doing okay 

Agent 3 Jr.: that didn’t really feel like a panic attack. My brain kinda just fried itself. Thank you though 

EnbyBraids: np! Sending hugs ur way too if u want them

Agent 3 Jr.: thank you. I hug you back with enthusiasm 

EnbyBraids: yay! Hugs

Agent 3 Jr.: yay hugs indeed. Now I want physical hugs

BombRushBlush: my time has come

Cap’n Jr.: cuddle pile?

Agent 3 Jr.: yes please

TriEye: does physical contact help you when you’re stressed?

Agent 3 Jr.: yes. Physical contact helps a lot. It grounds me

Singular Man: good to know!

Agent 2: Njála, do you know what caused you to shut down?

Agent 3 Jr.: ya. His name. He’s an asshole

Agent 3 Jr.: was an asshole. Thank cod he’s gone

EnbyBraids: you know about it? That thing?

Agent 3 Jr.: he, and yes I do. 

TriEye: mind if we ask how?

Agent 3 Jr.: I don’t really want to talk about it. 

Cap’n Jr.: that’s fine. I just finished your food

BombRushBlush: oooo yay

Agent 2: bring it in here

Cap’n Jr.: that’s the plan. You all need to sit up

BombRushBlush: kk

Agent 3 Jr.: holy carp. Four you were right. 

TriEye: I’ve lived with her since I was sixteen. I know her cooking. 

Cap’n Jr.: four actually taught me a good deal. Most of what we cook these days is a mix between our different cooking styles. 

Agent 3 Jr.: neat!

Agent 3 Jr.: oh btw 

Agent 3 Jr.: @DancingEels @SharkWhisperer @BIGMAN WELCOME TO THE TEAM!

Webmaster: DancingEels has joined the chatroom. 

DancingEels: thank you! We’re at the studio rn but we can text after. Glad to know you’re feeling better. 

Webmaster: DancingEels has left the chatroom. 

Agent 3 Jr.: ok! Bye!

Agent 3 Jr.: btw I’m scrolling through what I missed. 4, what did you mean by talk to me?

TriEye: I’ve had a lot of problems with panic attacks and bad thoughts in the past. I know some stuff that helps

Cap’n Jr.: she also took psych as a minor in uni

BombRushBlush: four’s the unofficial therapist of the group. She’s really good with calming people down too. 

EnbyBraids: yet another reason why she is mom friend 

Singular Man: lol 

EnbyBraids: almost nothing phases her at this point

Singular Man: except the captain 

Agent 3 Jr.: HA

Agent 2: and vice versa may I add

Cap’n Jr.: MARIE!

TriEye: I am very good at flustering the captain. It is true

Cap’n Jr.: Last time I checked, I’m not the one that turns into a disco ball when I so much as kiss her

TriEye: which one of us has melted into a puddle before while we were flirting?

Cap’n Jr.: Touché 

Webmaster: SharkWhisperer has joined the chatroom. 

SharkWhisperer: you sound like an old married couple

Agent 3 Jr.: are you two married?

TriEye: nope

Cap’n Jr.: We want to tie the knot someday, but there are a lot of people who we want to be there who can’t be. 

Cap’n Jr.: my 4 siblings, two of who are missing and one who is dead, my biological parents, both dead. Friends from the decent part of my childhood, all super dead, the list goes on

TriEye: and I want my siblings to be there, but I haven’t seen them since I was a baby. Maybe a few cousins and friends. 

EnbyBraids: cap, how much of your fam is dead?!

Cap’n Jr.: all but my shitty adoptive father and three of my siblings. 

EnbyBraids: cod that explains so much. 

EnbyBraids: that’s where your cheer went

Cap’n Jr.: that was mostly due to my awful adoptive father. But ya. I used to be pretty cheerful 

TriEye: you still are. I miss seeing you smile. It’s been too long since we’ve been in the same place 

Agent 2: four is literally the only person who can get the cap to smile 

Cap’n Jr.: Marie, you’ve made me smile before, just not fully. So has Callie

BombRushBlush: but it’s like 4’s super power to get a big toothy grin on your face

Agent 3 Jr.: I’m assuming we’re gonna get to see a whole new side of the captain when four comes?

TriEye: oh most definitely 

Cap’n Jr.: aaaaaaanndddddd we are switching topics! Newbies, any questions you have about the NSS?

Agent 3 Jr.: I’ve got one 

Cap’n Jr.: shoot

Agent 3 Jr.: why did Callie and Marie say you didn’t practice basic hygiene when you were first an agent?

EnbyBraids: oh lol

Singular Man: story time!

Cap’n Jr.: MY HYGIENE WAS FINE THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!

TriEye: and I am the only reason it was

SharkWhisperer: was? 

Cap’n Jr.: and is now! The cousins just like making jokes about it because I was a young hormonal teenager who didn’t take care of herself 

EnbyBraids: true. But then why didn’t they do it to me and Eli? 

Cap’n Jr.: Phoenix you are so close to being on cleaning duty when we get back

EnbyBraids: is that even your call rn?

TriEye: Phoenix you are so close to being on cleaning duty when they get back

Singular Man: HA

EnbyBraids: fine

Agent 2: to answer your question Njála, it was mostly just a joke

Agent 3 Jr.: okie dokie

SharkWhisperer: we have a few

Cap’n Jr.: go ahead 

SharkWhisperer: ok. 1, is the NSS an official military group?

Agent 2: yes. We have contacts in Inkopolis’ armed forces and we’re recognised by them as a special ops group. We work with them sometimes. 

Agent 3 Jr.: cool! Why don’t we get paid then

Agent 2: You do. We just can’t do it the same way other jobs would. We don’t exactly have your contact. We usually give out your salary in coins at the end of every month. 

Agent 3 Jr.: ok

SharkWhisperer: 2, are we going to get Agent gear?

Cap’n Jr.: yep. We need to get you some stuff 

SharkWhisperer: Frye’s doing a lil happy dance. 3, what’s the deal with badges? You said only a few people have them. 

Cap’n Jr.: ohhhh boi. I really wish Marina was here to explain this, but I’ll try. So far, only the main 5 have badges. We are desperately trying to make more, but the tech in them is super finicky. 

TriEye: they don’t even work all the time for us

Agent 2: you’ve probably seen us wearing them without realizing it. 

Agent 3 Jr.: what do they look like?

Cap’n Jr.: y’know the silver bands around our necks?

Agent 3 Jr.: oh ya!

SharkWhisperer: ohhh that’s what those are

TriEye: we can use them to talk to each other on a private channel, equip armour really quickly, store weapons when we aren’t using them, etc. 

TriEye: but sometimes they bug out and don’t work. 

Cap’n Jr.: they have the ability to appear as just necklaces, necklaces with the badge on the back, or can be taken off and shown as just a badge for showing status. 

Agent 3 Jr.: cooooollllll

TriEye: they are very tricky to make though. That’s why only five currently exist. 

Agent 2: alright. Any more questions 

Agent 3 Jr.: what’s the cabin?

Singular Man: it’s our home base in Inkopolis 

EnbyBraids: it’s also not actually a cabin

Webmaster: DancingEels has joined the chatroom. 

DancingEels: ???

Singular Man: the original base for the NSS was an actual cabin in Octo Valley. There was one in the canyon too when we moved there. 

TriEye: we kept the name ‘Cuttlefish Cabin’ even after we got the new base. It’s more of a house now, but big and lots of room for training and planning. 

Agent 2: there’s also lots of plants around it. It’s quite nice. I like to garden there. 

BombRushBlush: and you need to have access to get in. There’s a secret passage to get to it from the outskirts of Inkopolis. 

Agent 3 Jr.: ok. That’s dope 

SharkWhisperer: agreed

EnbyBraids: usually we get ready in the mornings at our respective homes and then head to the cabin for breakfast

Singular Man: that’s usually the schedule on school days 

Singular Man: summer gets funky

EnbyBraids: summer means even more time there

Agent 3 Jr.: fun. How close is it to school?

EnbyBraids: not too far. Super jumping distance 

Agent 3 Jr.: spectacular 

BombRushBlush: oh btw we all finished eating and now the three of us are cuddling 

BombRushBlush: Cap hasn’t joined us

Cap’n Jr.: I don’t want to crush you. I’m really heavy. I’m also not very cuddly

TriEye: BALDERDASH

TriEye: she’s a very good cuddler 

Agent 2: cmon cap

Agent 3 Jr.:  Pleaseeeee Captain?

BombRushBlush: omc Njála’s puppy dog eyes are legendary

Cap’n Jr.: fine. But im on the bottom

Agent 2: deal

TriEye: damn I wish I was there 

BombRushBlush: we’re all vacating the bed momentarily 

Agent 3 Jr.: Cap is on position! Now we strike!

Cap’n Jr.: help I’m trapped 

TriEye: you and I both know you could escape if you wanted to. They probably weigh nothing to you

Cap’n Jr.: that is true

Agent 3 Jr.: how is captain so cuddly?! HOW

TriEye: she just is. Got a heart of gold that one 

Cap’n Jr.: you are in so much trouble when you get here

TriEye: me? In trouble? For saying how amazing my girlfriend is?

Cap’n Jr.: you will not escape from the kisses

TriEye: oh no! What a terrible fate! ;) 

SharkWhisperer: gay

DancingEels: gay

EnbyBraids: gay

Singular Man: gay

Agent 3 Jr.: wow y’all did that at the same time

EnbyBraids: same brain cell

Cap’n Jr.: I think we’ll sign off. It’s hard to type rn

TriEye: fair 

DancingEels: shiv and I should get back to announcing. See ya latter!

TriEye: bye! I’m gonna finish packing

Webmaster: DancingEels has left the chatroom. 

SharkWhisperer: byeeeee

Webmaster: SharkWhisperer has left the chatroom. 

Agent 3 Jr.: I’m the only one with my arms free so bye from the cuddle pile! Four, Cap sends her love 

TriEye: bye cap. Call me tonight if you can.

Agent 3 Jr.: 👍💚

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Agent 2 has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: BombRushBlush has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: TriEye has left the chatroom.

EnbyBraids: annnddddd we’re alone

Singular Man: I am so lonelyyyyy

EnbyBraids: I have no body but my own 

Singular Man: awooooooooo

EnbyBraids: that was Phoe and Eli singing their feelings

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Singular Man has left the chatroom.

Chapter Text

NSS Chat

(7:00 AM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Webmaster: R8ller has joined the chatroom. 

R8ller: GUESS WHO JUST GOT SERVICE

R8ller: what did we missssssss

R8ller: found where we left off. Hold on

Webmaster: TriEye has joined the chatroom. 

TriEye: HANNAAAAAAAAAAA

R8ller: FOURRRRRRRRRR

R8ller: shit I lost my place hold on

R8ller: yes I’m lesbo

R8ller: OMC NJÁLA IS SUCH A PRETTY NAMEEEEEE!!! Do u have nicknames u like?

R8ller: ooooo what’s the nightingale about?

R8ller: WELCOME TO THE TEAM DEEP CUT!!!

R8ller: oh no! I’m glad you’re feeling better Three

R8ller: Cap’n’s food is delicious and her cuddles are amazing 

R8ller: DID I GET EVERYTHING?!!!!

TriEye: I think so. Good to have you back!

R8ller: good to be back! The empire was sooooooo boring. Politics were always more Rina and Toni’s thing. 

Webmaster: Dedf1sh has joined the chatroom. 

Dedf1sh: RASPBERRY 

R8ller: BLUEBERRY 

Dedf1sh: @MC.Princess THEYRE BACKKKKK

Webmaster: MC.Princess has joined the chatroom. 

MC.Princess: WHAT!!! UR HERE?!!!!

R8ller: We’re still on our way but we’re close enough to have signal. Rina says hiiii💙

TriEye: ETA?

R8ller: bout half an hour

Dedf1sh: yayyyyyyy

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has joined the chatroom. 

EnbyBraids: oh hey! Welcome back!

R8ller: thanks!

Webmaster: Singular Man has joined the chatroom. 

Singular Man: Welcome back! Ur mom woke Phoe up. And by extent me

R8ller: ooooooh sry

EnbyBraids: it’s fine. We were having a lazy morning so we still got enough sleep. She messaged a few min ago

Dedf1sh: oof 

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Agent 2 has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: DancingEels has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: BombRushBlush has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: SharkWhiperer has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: BIGMAN has joined the chatroom. 

Agent 3 Jr.: holy fuck thank cod 

R8ller: oh my brother what just happened 

Cap’n Jr.: we may have gotten stuck in one of the craters for a bit

TriEye: how long

Agent 2: an hour 

Cap’n Jr.: but we’re fine now. Also, WELCOME BACK HANNA!!!!

BombRushBlush: WELCOME BACKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!

SharkWhisperer: how was the empire? 

R8ller: boorringggggggggggg

R8ller: and my tentacles hurt from being tied up fancy all day. I wanna slamm my head into the wall 

DancingEels: Yeesh 

Webmaster: DJ_Hyperfresh has joined the chatroom. 

DJ_Hyperfresh: hello! Sorry I was just talking to our pilot quickly. Hanna has bashed her head into a wall

Dedf1sh: ohhhh babyyyy

MC.Princess: hey babe

DJ_Hyperfresh: hello darling. We’ll be there soon 

Agent 3 Jr.: 1, hope Hanna is ok. 2, WERE ALL IN CHAT AGAINNNNNNN

TriEye: WOOP WOOP 

Cap’n Jr.: woop woop indeed 

SharkWhisperer: for some reason I cannot hear the two of you saying that in real life. Mostly cuz I don’t know your voices

DancingEels: HOLY SHIT

Agent 3 Jr.: that’s your voice?!

BIGMAN: Captain just said that out loud 

Agent 3 Jr.: somehow that was exactly what I was expecting and the exact opposite at the same time

Cap’n Jr.: yes. I have a voice. Bask in its glory 

Dedf1sh: HA

TriEye: you should hear her sing

Agent 2: she could put us out of our career

BombRushBlush: the opportunity to perform with us still stands

Cap’n Jr.: I am fine just singing for my friends and family thank you very much 

Cap’n Jr.: also, four has got pipes! She has the voice of a fucking angel. Don’t single me out!

Agent 2: fair enough 

Agent 3 Jr.: do you two sing together a lot?

TriEye: ty bby! Also ya. Singing and dancing 

DJ_Hyperfresh: you still have yet to dance for us

MC.Princess: ya! You gotta show us your moves someday soon

R8ller: I’ve seen them dance

Dedf1sh: ya. They’re good at it. Not the kind of dancing the idols do tho

DancingEels: what do you do then

Cap’n Jr.: either like waltzing or folk

TriEye: folk is the more common of the two

TriEye: usually 3 or more people (sometimes less but it’s rare) in giant dresses that spin real big 

SharkWhisperer: oooooo sounds fun

Cap’n Jr.: it is. Especially when my brother is playing the music for us

Singular Man: continuing the tradition 

Cap’n Jr.: oh no

Singular Man: of asking you

Cap’n Jr.: oh cod why

Agent 3 Jr.: lol what is this

BIGMAN: this seems fun

Agent 2: it’s hilarious 

Singular Man: how old is your brother

Cap’n Jr.: 10 years older than me

EnbyBraids: WE GET ANSWERS?!

TriEye: she decided she would next time you asked

Singular Man: and is he single

Cap’n Jr.: yes

EnbyBraids: YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

TriEye: but he’s also aroace

EnbyBraids: fuckkkkkkkk

Singular Man: nooooooo

MC.Princess: why do y’all wanna fuck cap’s bro

DJ_Hyperfresh: PEARL!

EnbyBraids: NOT RHE INTENTION

EnbyBraids: *rhe

EnbyBraids: *the

Dedf1sh: wowwwwwww

R8ller: rhe 

DancingEels: rhe

Agent 3 Jr.: rhe

EnbyBraids: you guys r meannnnnn

Cap’n Jr.: rhe

SharkWhisperer: HA

Agent 3 Jr.: btw, Hanna answered the questions she missed

EnbyBraids: oh ya I forgot about that. Sry

R8ller: it’s fine

Agent 3 Jr.: to answer ur questions, 1, I like Ny as a nickname. Like the letter I but with an N before it

Agent 3 Jr.: 2, Nightingale is my last name 

R8ller: oooo pretty

DJ_Hyperfresh: 👍

Singular Man: can we crown Ny the queen of diverting topics/non sequiturs 

TriEye: yes

BIGMAN: yes

DancingEels: oh ya

Agent 2: most definitely 

Agent 3 Jr.: thank you, thank you 

Agent 3 Jr.: my years of diverting my parents’ talks about “becoming a man” finally pay off

SharkWhisperer: oooooooo I feel that one 

Cap’n Jr: an impressive skill indeed. Here is your crown 👑 

Agent 3 Jr.: thank you very much oh mighty captain 

DancingEels: I have a question for the queen 

Agent 3 Jr.: ask away

DancingEels: is there a King or another Queen

Agent 3 Jr.: whadya mean?

SharkWhisperer: r u dating anyone

Agent 3 Jr.: ohhhhhhh. No I’m single

Agent 3 Jr.: I had a girlfriend for a while, but things didn’t work out with us

BombRushBlush: awwwww i’m sorry to hear that

Agent 3 Jr.: it’s fine. She was kinda a bitch

EnbyBraids: is Ny the only single one here?

BombRushBlush: Marie and I are single

BombRushBlush: other than that, probably 

Agent 3 Jr.: who’s with whom?

R8ller: first, how does the one who learned common as a third language have a larger vocabulary than some of u native speakers?

R8ller: second, MAKE A LIST EVERYONE

R8ller: Ahato and I are dating

TriEye: Cap and I are dating

Singular Man: Phoe and I are a couple, but we’re open to bringing another into our relationship 

DancingEels: Shiv, Big Man and I are in a polycule. 

MC.Princess: rina and I are dating

BombRushBlush: single high five

Agent 3 Jr.: *high fives u*

Agent 2: *joins in the high five*

EnbyBraids: noice. Now if you’ll excuse me… 

Singular Man: xe just came up and kissed me on the cheek

Agent 3 Jr.: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

R8ller: WE’RE HERE!!!!!!

Dedf1sh: *screeching noises*

MC.Princess: come give us hugssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Dedf1sh: agreiurghuezrgbzeh

Agent 2: um

DJ_Hyperfresh: Hanna tackled Ahato

MC.Princess: we’re gonna bounce 

TriEye: same here I think. Welcome back girls!

TriEye: mind if I pop over to say hi? Or are you all coming to the cabin?

R8ller: we’ll come to the cabin. Sys. 

TriEye: kk. Sys

Webmaster: R8ller has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: MC.Princess has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: DJ_Hyperfresh has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Dedf1sh has left the chatroom. 

TriEye: also, moonlight?

TriEye: …

Agent 3 Jr.: ?

SharkWhisperer: what’s that

Cap’n Jr.: ah sry I was writing smth down. Yes, Sunshine?

TriEye: IM COMING TOMORROW!!!

Cap’n Jr.: I KNOW! I can’t wait to see you.💚

TriEye: sameeeeee💛

TriEye: ok. I gtg. Ttyl. I love you!

Cap’n Jr.: I love you too  

Webmaster: TriEye has left the chatroom. 

Agent 3 Jr.: that was adorable 

EnbyBraids: Cap and 4 are my OTP 

Agent 3 Jr.: yessssssss

Cap’n Jr.: thank you, but we have work to do. Splatlands team, sound off

Agent 3 Jr.: wha

BombRushBlush: hellooooo

Agent 2: aye

DancingEels: sup

BIGMAN: Ay!

SharkWhisperer: present

Cap’n Jr.: great. Meet me at camp. We have some kettles to scout and some new agents to get outfitted 

Agent 3 Jr.: kk. Sys cap!!!

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: DancingEels has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: BombRushBlush  has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: BIGMAN has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Agent 2 has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: SharkWhisperer has left the chatroom. 

Cap’n Jr.: Eli, Phoe, meet the others at the cabin. Get Hanna and Marina up to speed on anything they missed. 

EnbyBraids: aye aye captain!

Singular Man: see ya later!

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Singular Man has left the chatroom. 

Cap’n Jr.: good bye. Safe travels. 

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has left the chatroom.

Chapter Text

NSS Chat

(3:15 AM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Webmaster: TriEye has joined the chatroom. 

TriEye: I know no one is up yet but I’m just boarding my train now. I should be in Splatsville by 8. See you all soon. 

Webmaster: TriEye has left the chatroom. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(5:30 AM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

Agent 3 Jr.: AHHHHHHHHH

Agent 3 Jr.: FOUR IS ON HER WAY

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

Cap’n Jr.: YESSSSSSSSSS

Agent 3 Jr.: someone’s excited 

Webmaster: BombRushBlush has joined the chatroom. 

BombRushBlush: FOURS COMING!!!

Webmaster: R8ller has joined the chatroom. 

R8ller: guys. She made us breakfast 

Agent 3 Jr.: awwwwwwww

BombRushBlush: wow the ride sure is long

Cap’n Jr.: ya. Until the express station is repaired, you need to take the long way. The train she’s on is indirect. It stops at a bunch of different places on the way. 

BombRushBlush: that sucks

Agent 3 Jr.: didn’t you take it to get here?

BombRushBlush: nope. We took a helicopter 

Agent 3 Jr.: fancy

Webmaster: Dedf1sh has joined the chatroom. 

Dedf1sh: we’re gonna miss her, but im glad cap and four get to see each other again 

Cap’n Jr.: I am very glad none of you are at base rn

Agent Jr.: why?

BombRushBlush: HA! I am here! I heard that!

Cap’n Jr.: clammit

BombRushBlush: someone is jumping up and down with a huge smile on her face. 

BombRushBlush: and it isn’t me

R8ller: cap being gay. A true treat

Cap’n Jr.: betrayal

BombRushBlush: come on. I need someone to squeal with 

Cap’n Jr.: fine

Dedf1sh: cue the gay screaming

Agent 3 Jr.: oooooooooo

Agent 3 Jr.: hehe

Agent 3 Jr.: gay_squealing.mp4

Cap’n Jr.: NJÁLA NIGHTINGALE!!!

Dedf1sh: ooooo full names

Agent 3 Jr.: uh oh

Cap’n Jr.: AHATO MIZUTA DO NOT ENCOURAGE HER

Dedf1sh: sry kid I’m out

Agent 3 Jr.: nooooooooooo

BombRushBlush: you are very cute tho cap. It’s nice to see your playful side. 

R8ller: agreed

Agent 3 Jr.: that’s the most I’ve ever heard you talk. 

Webmaster: TriEye has joined the chatroom. 

Cap’n Jr.: Sunshine!

TriEye: Moonlight!

TriEye: good morning everyone!

Agent 3 Jr.: Gm Four!

BombRushBlush: hiiiiii Four!

R8ller: Gm!!! Tysm for the breakfast!

TriEye: oh! You’re very welcome! I hope it was yummy

Dedf1sh: it really was 

Dedf1sh: and dw we left some for the others

TriEye: good. 

Cap’n Jr.: how’s the ride going

TriEye: good enough

Cap’n Jr.: anything bad happening?

TriEye: one of the stops was our dreaded hometown

R8ller: ohhh noooooo

TriEye: and my cousin and her boyfriend hopped on and sat right across from me 

Agent 3 Jr.: good or bad cousin

TriEye: bad

BombRushBlush: oh no! Was everything okay?

TriEye: I kept my face buried in the Alterna reports (dw it was the coded ones), so it took her like half an hour before she realised it was me. 

TriEye: someone came by with snacks and my cousin caught my face when I went to grab something

TriEye: luckily they were only on for one stop so I only needed to try and be civil talking to her for about half an hour

TriEye: but ahhhhhhhhhhhh

Cap’n Jr.: did she say anything super awful?

TriEye: just the normal. When am I coming home, have I scored a boyfriend yet, where you are, that mother is worried about me 

Cap’n Jr.: can’t wait to hug you after this

TriEye: same

BombRushBlush: I’m sorry Four

Agent 3 Jr.: that really sucks. Are you ok now?

TriEye: ya I’m fine

R8ller: is anyone staring?

Dedf1sh: ya ur fam tends to attract attention 

TriEye: now that you mention it 

R8ller: oh no

TriEye: there’s some super buff guy who’s been not so stealthily checking me out over his phone for the last little bit. 

Cap’n Jr.: ughhhhhhhhh men. No offence all those present

Singular Man: none taken. Guys can suck

TriEye: ya I feel ya. Guys like this dude make me wish I was lesbian 

Agent 3 Jr.: haha

Agent 2: *misogynistic men

TriEye: yes

BombRushBlush: oh ya. I wanna punch those guys

TriEye: andddddd he’s coming over

Cap’n Jr.: give him the psychological talk 

TriEye: ohhhh ya he’s flirting. I’m trying to ignore him

TriEye: squit I’m not wearing earbuds 

TriEye: he’s touching my shoulder ughhhhhhhh

R8ller: call someone if you need to

Dedf1sh: do you have a weapon on you?

TriEye: ya I have my heroshot on me at all times. Thank cod for carrier licenses. 

Cap’n Jr.: agreed. 

TriEye: he’s asking me who I’m texting

R8ller: tell him it’s your wife 

TriEye: ha nice 

TriEye: andddd now he’s being homophobic

TriEye: he just grabbed my forearm. Putting my phone down to grab my gun

Cap’n Jr.: hold on I’m gonna call you on mute

Cap’n Jr.: oh ya this guy’s a dick 

Cap’n Jr.: Four just pulled her gun on him and he’s backing up

Agent 3 Jr.: yay

Cap’n Jr.: one of the staff is coming by

Cap’n Jr.: the guy finally let go of her thank cod. 

Dedf1sh: that’s great

Cap’n Jr.: Four’s getting her license out. Ok ya everything’s good now

R8ller: YAYYYYYYY

TriEye: hi I’m back and putting in earbuds 

BombRushBlush: welcome back!

TriEye: Ty! Everyone is giving me a wide berth now. There are some emo teens in the corner who basically just went “oh squit it’s the fuzz!”

Agent 3 Jr.: HA

Dedf1sh: is it really wise to pull a gun on a train 

TriEye: it’s not the best course of action, but it got him away quick. If he had pulled me away anyone could have taken the files or my stuff. Staff wouldn’t have been quick enough in this case

Cap’n Jr.: I say good instinct. Obviously don’t pull a gun when you don’t need to, or any weapon really 

TriEye: ya. Dw I know when it’s absolutely necessary. And it’s always low tide ink. 

Cap’n Jr.: good. I’m gonna finish setting camp up for today

BombRushBlush: ya I need to bounce too. Marie says Gm btw

TriEye: tell her gm too! And ya! Everyone needs to go get ready. I shoo you

BombRushBlush: will do. I have been shooed

Webmaster: BombRushBlush has left the chatroom. 

Agent 3 Jr.: ok! Have a safe rest of your trip!

R8ller: bye four!

Dedf1sh: byeeeee

TriEye: bye! I’m gonna stay on for now 

Cap’n Jr.: 👍 

Webmaster: Dedf1sh has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: R8ller has left the chatroom. 

Cap’n Jr: I love you soooo much💚

TriEye: I love you too!💛

Agent 3 Jr.: aren’t you two still on call

Cap’n Jr.: ya but we love being sappy

Agent 3 Jr.: aww that’s sweet

Agent 3 Jr.: ok byeeeeeeee

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has left the chatroom. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(8:02 AM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TriEye: ok. We’re pulling up now

TriEye: Cap said the team is in a kettle rn so I’m gonna run to the apartment 

Webmaster: R8ller has joined the chatroom. 

R8ller: how r u doing?

TriEye: I’m good. I’m gonna hop down to Alterna after this. Cap left a key for me so I can get into our place. 

R8ller: I figured. Are bags a problem 

TriEye: have you seen my arms Hanna?

R8ller: nvm

TriEye: ok I think I found the place

R8ller: that was fast

TriEye: it’s close to the entrance to Alterna, which is close to the train. 

R8ller: fair enough. Oh btw we got more info on those guys that robbed the government. 

TriEye: oooooo good. I’ll be shella impressed if you guys lock him up before I get back 

R8ller: we’ll try our best

TriEye: great! Ok I just got my bags down. I’m gonna change and then run to Alterna

R8ller: goooooooooo four!

TriEye: Ty! Ok I’m omw. Wow people are slow

R8ller: are they slow or are you just running really fast

TriEye: 😳

R8ller: that’s what I THOUGHT 

TriEye: ok I’m at the grate. Hopping in now

Webmaster: TriEye has left the chatroom. 

R8ller: wait

R8ller: remember that the grates are weird. You need to make sure you go to the right place

R8ller: annddddd she already went down. Hope she got to Alterna and not the crater. 

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

Agent 3 Jr.: I’m on coms just in case 

R8ller: awesome. I gtg

Agent 3 Jr.: ok! Byeeeeee. I’m gonna hop back off too

Webmaster: R8ller has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has left the chatroom.

Chapter Text

NSS Chat

(10:00 AM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has joined the chatroom.

Agent 3 Jr.: She did indeed get stuck in the crater. Guiding her out now

Webmaster: Agent 2 has joined the chatroom. 

Agent 2: Note, she will be teased relentlessly for this. 

Agent 3 Jr.: in the words of four, noooooooooooooooo

Agent 3 Jr.: alright! We’re out!

Webmaster: TriEye has joined the chatroom. 

TriEye: well that was embarrassing 

TriEye: anyways, IM HEREEEEEE

Agent 3 Jr.: also Four is giving me gender envy HOW ARE YOU SO COOL AND PRETTY?!

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

Cap’n Jr.: Where are you?!

Agent 3 Jr.: we took the safe route so we landed on the middle island. Superjumping to base now. 

Webmaster: Agent 2 has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: BombRushBlush has joined the chatroom. 

BombRushBlush: Marie is filming Cap and Four’s reunion. 

Agent 3 Jr.: Four just jumped Cap’n! 

BombRushBlush: Cap caught her like a champ and now spinnnnnnnnnnnn

Agent 3 Jr.: and now kiss! AND GLOW OOOOOOOO 

Agent 2: agent12reunion.mp4 

[The video starts with Cap’n looking up and into the distance. The camera pans to two streaks of ink, superjumping to the base. Ny lands first a few meters away, catching Anan as he jumps out of his carrier and into Ny’s arms. 

Four aims straight for Cap and changes out of squid form just in time to be caught by her in a hug. Cap spins the two of them around a few times before setting Four down and pulling her into a kiss. Four’s tentacles, freckles and the sides of her mask light up in a mix of pink, yellow and blue. A small fin behind her visible right ear flutters in delight.]

Agent 2: see for yourself 

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Singular Man has joined the chatroom 

Webmaster: SharkWhisperer has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: DancingEels has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: BIGMAN has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: DJ_Hyperfresh has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: MC.Princess has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: R8ller has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Dedf1sh has joined the chatroom. 

EnbyBraids: THE GAYS HAVE SUMMONED US

DancingEels: THAT’S FOUR?!!!!!!! GIRL YOURE SO PRETTY! AND BUFF HOLD FUCK

Agent 3 Jr.: I KNOW ROGHT

Agent 3 Jr.: she says ty

DancingEels: 👍

SharkWhisperer: I agree with the gay panic

SharkWhisperer: also, what’s with the glowy?

BIGMAN: I was wondering that as well

TriEye: hi, thank you for the compliments

TriEye: also I glow cuz I’m half Hansha 

MC.Princess: dude I thought you were firefly why are you so short

MC.Princess: Hansha usually pass 6’

TriEye: cuz my other half is Carib reef squid

MC.Princess: skill issue 

Cap’n Jr.: hey

Agent 3 Jr.: so that’s where the fins are from

DancingEels: dudeeeeeeee are you serious 

SharkWhisperer: forgive the sheltered octoling, what’s a Hansha?

TriEye: basically a variation of squid traced back to firefly squids. The way we give off light is a bit different though

EnbyBraids: you reflect it, right?

TriEye: yes and no. It doesn’t just bounce off me. I absorb it and then re-admit it. I can change the colours as I wish

R8ller: she has little triangle freckles on her skin that can only be seen when she glows. The ones on her tentacles and mask can be visible without. 

TriEye: If I so choose

TriEye: I’ll be completely honest, I’m only now starting to show them more. My mother kinda made me show them all the time because I was special 

TriEye: but now I’m more chill about it. I don’t have them lit up all the time, but my marks are visible. 

Dedf1sh: and you’ve got info on your Carib side, right?

TriEye: yep. My mother is pure Carib reef squid, so I grew up learning about that heritage. My Mamá, Papá and baby brother are all Carib reef as well

TriEye: My mother always told me to control my fins because it was improper to have them move on their own

TriEye: My parents said fuck it we ball and helped me relearn how to use them naturally

DancingEels: what’s the difference between ur Mother and your parents?

TriEye: Mother - birth mother who is a massive abusive, homophobic, bigoted bitch

SharkWhisperer: euyyyyye boiiiiii that sucks

TriEye: Mamá and Papá adopted me when I was 19. They are the best

Cap’n Jr.: they are some of the sweetest people I have ever met. We originally met them when we moved into the neighborhood when we were 17

TriEye: they made us lasagna on our first day there

R8ller: Ahato and I have also met them

R8ller: they are gems

Dedf1sh: all other parents have been ruined for me

Agent 3 Jr.: My parents are also awesome. They saw a lil sick trans kid on the street and went “Mine”

EnbyBraids: seriously?! That’s awesome

EnbyBraids: I was never properly in the system. All the remaining Cuttling kids from my village were just put into one group home together with a few of the adults. 

Agent 3 Jr.: Ya neither was I. If there is some way I can get my hands on official documents saying I’m my parents’ daughter, that would be great

Agent 3 Jr.: They kinda just took me in and hoped everyone turned a blind eye

Agent 2: and with that I start forging more documents 

Agent 3 Jr.: OMC TYSM

R8ller: lol anyone who ever had a change in parents or guardians say I

TriEye: I

EnbyBraids: I

Agent 3 Jr.: I

BombRushBlush: Captain Three middle name Cuttlefish, if you don’t respond I will personally come and tackle you

Cap’n Jr.: I

BombRushBlush: thank you

Agent 2: I

Agent 2: but in all honesty, my step father can go die

MC.Princess: AGREED

MC.Princess: I fucking love our mom, but that man can go un alive himself for all I care

EnbyBraids: cod, that bad?

Agent 2: Neglectful, abusive, rich-ass prick

BombRushBlush: he may have been married to my aunt for 10 years, but I have never and will never call him my uncle 

TriEye: ayyyyyy welcome to the club

Cap’n Jr.: shitty parent party bus

R8ller: at least your parents didn’t brainwash you

DJ_Hyperfresh: 

DJ_Hyperfresh: this convo is very odd to listen to

Agent 3 Jr.: cuz of the topic?

DJ_Hyperfresh: partially 

DJ_Hyperfresh: but also because I’m good friends with Maëlle and Marcel

SharkWhisperer: who?

BombRushBlush: My dad and my aunt

Agent 2: Me and Pearl’s mom and our uncle

BombRushBlush: first 

Agent 2: damn

DancingEels: wait. I thought you were sisters

BombRushBlush: we’re actually cousins

BIGMAN: How do you know their family, Marina?

DJ_Hyperfresh: uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

R8ller: we were friends as kids

R8ller: but then we all got put into chrio after the war and they got let out 20 years before us

SharkWhisperer: I heard stories that the princesses had been alive since before the war. I always wondered how that worked

DJ_Hyperfresh: a mix of our father’s tech and our mother’s voodoo obsession 

EnbyBraids: ITS NIT JUST VOODOO ANYMORE!!! HAHA!

Singular Man: nit

EnbyBraids: you don’t love me 

BIGMAN: I am so confused 

EnbyBraids: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

EnbyBraids: abort! Quick, Ny, non sequitur us!

Agent 3 Jr.: Cap’n is being so soft rn it’s adorable 

MC.Princess: gay

Cap’n Jr.: look who’s talking

EnbyBraids: (Tysm Ny)

Agent 3 Jr.: (Any time!)

BombRushBlush: tbf, Cap and 4 have been gay for the longest 

TriEye: we are being bullied 

Cap’n Jr.: farewell fellow homosexuals 

Cap’n Jr.: you have shunned us until a later time!

TriEye: We bid thee adieu!

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: TriEye has left the chatroom. 

DancingEels: dramatic much?

Agent 3 Jr.: Four just dragged Cap’n inside. We’re just gonna let them chill in there

Agent 2: aka we’re gonna let them to make out for a while

MC.Princess: gay mfs

Webmaster: Agent 2 has banned MC.Princess for 10 minutes 

********************

Thee   Team Ever

(10:30 AM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: TriEye has joined the chatroom. 

Cap’n Jr.: @R8ller , @Dedf1sh, can you hop on here

Webmaster: R8ller has joined the chatroom. 

R8ller: sup?

TriEye: we’ve got news 

Webmaster: Dedf1sh has joined the chatroom. 

Dedf1sh: does it involve your inevitable make out?

TriEye: nope

Cap’n Jr.: Ny is sanitized 

R8ller: essscuse?!

Dedf1sh: ya I had a feeling

Dedf1sh: have you talked to her about it yet?

TriEye: that’s the thing

TriEye: she’s disconnected 

R8ller: like she’s at baseline and no longer affiliated with the hoshinoko?

Cap’n Jr.: no

Cap’n Jr.: NNightingale_Identity_File.pdf

Cap’n Jr.: I’d say read through that when you u have the time 

TriEye: the basics are, her parents gave her over to Tari, believing it was some boarding school/ gay reform program

R8ller: oh shit

TriEye: that was when she was 7. She escaped when she was 9 with some of her other inmates, but she was the only one unaccounted for

Cap’n Jr.: she’s the only one who ever escaped from those programs and actually stayed safe. Anyone else who attempted that was found and brought back

Dedf1sh: wow she must be strong. What was she trained in

TriEye: general stuff, but she’s also got the skills of an assassin 

TriEye: she’s tamashi material, maybe even high tamashi

Cap’n Jr.: but she cut herself off from that part of herself 12 years ago

Cap’n Jr.: she is almost definitely on the cusp of getting really sick 

R8ller: so what do we do?

TriEye: she’s already pretty close with Loo, so I’m going to try and build a relationship with her as well

TriEye: if she tells us herself, great! Mission accomplished. We fix her levels and then go back to normal 

Cap’n Jr.: if not, we’re gonna have to wait till her condition declines. That will give us an excuse to look after her, since Soph is the team medic. From there we’ll get her sorted

Dedf1sh: sounds good to me

R8ller: same here. Keep an eye on her

TriEye: will do. We love you!💛

Cap’n Jr.: 💚💚💚

R8ller: love you too!💖

Dedf1sh: love youuuuu💙

Chapter Text

NSS Chat

(5:00 PM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has joined the chatroom. 

EnbyBraids: do you ever just

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

EnbyBraids: HHHHHHHH

Agent 3 Jr.: yes

Agent 3 Jr.: all the time

EnbyBraids: is it the trans swag

Agent 3 Jr.: I think it’s our trans swag

EnbyBraids: epic

Webmaster: SharkWhisperer has joined the chatroom. 

SharkWhisperer: trans swag train

Agent 3 Jr.: fuck ya

EnbyBraids: did you change ur name too Shiv? From like the one you were given at birth 

SharkWhisperer: not really

SharkWhisperer: Shiver is more of a nickname than anything. I’ll still respond to my octarian name since it’s pretty neutral 

Agent 3 Jr.: dope 

Webmaster: Dedf1sh has joined the chatroom. 

Dedf1sh: *hops on the trans swag train*

Dedf1sh: I’m also thinking of changing my name. Not sure to what yet

EnbyBraids: hehehehe

SharkWhisperer: dope

Agent 3 Jr.: this is the best job ever

Dedf1sh: agreed

SharkWhisperer: I can’t wait to meet everyone in person

Agent 3 Jr.: omc same

Webmaster: Agent 2 has joined the chatroom. 

Agent 2: demigirl swag accepted?

Agent 3 Jr.: shell ya

Agent 2: then I shall also board the trans swag train

Dedf1sh: is anyone else in our group trans?

EnbyBraids: not that I know of

Agent 3 Jr.: just scrolled up to earlier and everyone else is cis 

Dedf1sh: then I am making an additional group chat

Agent 3 Jr.: respect

********************

🏳️⚧️ Trans Swag Train🏳️⚧️

(5:17 PM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Webmaster: Dedf1sh started a chatroom. 

Webmaster: Dedf1sh has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Dedf1sh added EnbyBraids , Agent 3 Jr. , SharkWhisperer and 1 other. 

Webmaster: SharkWhisperer has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Agent 2 has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has joined the chatroom. 

Dedf1sh: trans swag train sound off

Agent 3 Jr.: what?

EnbyBraids: here

SharkWhisperer: here

Agent 2: present

Agent 3 Jr.: ohhh 

Agent 3 Jr.: here

EnbyBraids: do you not know that phrase?

Agent 3 Jr.: I do now!

Dedf1sh: lmao

Agent 2: it basically just means call out that you’re here. Usually irl it’ll be when someone calls your name or you’ll say your name when you answer

Agent 3 Jr.: ohhhh so like when we check who’s on coms

Agent 2: exactly 

Agent 3 Jr.: great! Tysm

EnbyBraids: np. Most if not all of us have been there

Dedf1sh: ya. I learned octarian first

SharkWhisperer: I was bilingual with common octarian and the dialect of my clan

Agent 2: Cuttling as a first language 

EnbyBraids: also cuttling 

Agent 3 Jr.: wow. Who else is bi/multilingual 

Agent 2: Four grew up learning both common inkling and Šepiyanigo and Cap’n knows a million different languages and doesn’t know how 

EnbyBraids: and then basically everyone can speak octarian. Eli is the only one who isn’t fluent-ish but he can still hold a conversation 

SharkWhisperer: Frye and Big Man aren’t great at octarian either but they each know a few different dialects from their cultures

Dedf1sh: Pearl also knows some cuttling right?

Agent 2: yep. She’s half and our mom taught us

EnbyBraids: Cuttling supremacy 

Agent 2: 👊

EnbyBraids: 👊

Agent 3 Jr.: noice

Dedf1sh: yes. However, back to the trans topic

SharkWhisperer: lmao

Agent 2: the superior topic

Dedf1sh: pride just passed so we can’t do much on that front, but do we want to do some fun trans thing?

Agent 3 Jr.: ooo! That could be fun. I know a popular trans/drag group is performing near my place in about a month 

EnbyBraids: that sounds epic

Dedf1sh: your place splatsville or your place Inkopolis 

Agent 3 Jr.: Inkopolis. I’m only renting my place here for another month

Agent 2: right you said you were on vacation here

Agent 3 Jr.: yep

Agent 3 Jr.: My cousin is off traveling the globe so he let me stay at his place as long as I pay the rent for the two months I’m here. 

SharkWhisperer: fair enough 

EnbyBraids: ya fair. How much is the rent?

Agent 3 Jr.: like 2,000 coins a month. Srsly not that much with how much I battle. It’s a good place too. About 900 square feet

Agent 2: oh wow that is cheap. Callie and I’s townhouse is about 1,700 sq ft and like 500,000 a year

EnbyBraids: jeezzzz. Eli and I share an apartment and it’s like… 3,000 a month for around 950 sq ft

SharkWhisperer: BM, Frye and I share an apartment that about the same as Ny’s

Dedf1sh: ya Hanna and I have basically the same thing as Phoe and Eli

EnbyBraids: Ny, what’s your rent in Inkopolis?

Agent 3 Jr.: Grocery runs and chores. I live with my parents 

SharkWhisperer: smart

Agent 2: cutting the convo short. Everyone back in the main chat

EnbyBraids: on it 

Dedf1sh: shitttttt

********************

NSS Chat

(5:50 PM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cap’n Jr.: @everyone emergency meeting

TriEye: NOW

EnbyBraids: we’re here

Agent 3 Jr.: what happened 

SharkWhisperer: present

Webmaster: R8ller has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: BombRushBlush has joined the chatroom. 

R8ller: gogogo

Webmaster: Singular Man has joined the chatroom. 

Dedf1sh: what’s going on? 

Webmaster: BIGMAN has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: DancingEels has joined the chatroom. 

Agent 2: oh boy. That’s not good

Webmaster: DJ_Hyperfresh has joined the chatroom. 

BombRushBlush: what is it?

Webmaster: MC.Princess has joined the chatroom. 

BombRushBlush: nvm I see it

R8ller: ahhhhhhh

EnbyBraids: do we have everyone?

Agent 2: lets check. SOUND OFF, NUMBERS OR NAMES

Cap’n Jr.: Captain 

BombRushBlush: 1

Agent 2: 2

Agent 3 Jr.: 3

TriEye: 4

MC.Princess: 5

DJ_Hyperfresh: 6

EnbyBraids: 7

R8ller: 8

Singular Man: 9

Dedf1sh: Ahato

DancingEels: Frye

SharkWhisperer: Shiver

BIGMAN: big man

TriEye: awesome. You’re up Cap

Cap’n Jr.: GREAT. EVERYONE OUTSIDE OF THE MAIN 5 NEEDS TO BE QUIET TILL WE SAY SO

Cap’n Jr.: A crime syndicate dubbed Viperfish is on the rise again. 7 and 9 have fought against them before, but they’ve grown stronger in the past few months

Cap’n Jr.: Part of their group has moved into the splatlands and allied with various ravager groups. They’re also the ones who just hacked into high ranking government facilities and stole a shit ton of money and resources. 

Cap’n Jr.: 8 and 4 just uncovered they are making a big move at midnight tonight, attacking both in Inkopolis and in the Splatlands simultaneously. We’re going to stop them. 4, 8, you’re up

TriEye: Alright! Inkopolis team, I am not there so all command falls to Agent 8. Viperfish is breaking into government headquarters on Inkopolis outskirts. Some will be going in physically, some will be hacking remotely from a nearby outpost. 

R8ller: We’re splitting into two teams. 7, 9, the two of you are coming with me to government headquarters to intercept them there

R8ller: Ahato, 5 and 6 are all going to intercept their hacking outpost. Get in, neutralize the guards and Viperfish personnel and get 6 hooked up. 

R8ller: Ahato, we apologise for such short notice, but you’re slotting in as Agent 13 for tonight. Number subject to change in the future. Do you have any major problems with that?

Dedf1sh: I’m perfectly fine. Keep going

Agent 2: awesome, our turn. SPLATLANDS TEAM

BombRushBlush: we’re in deep shit

Cap’n Jr.: 1!

BombRushBlush: sorry. Okay, so! We have basically everyone on a front assault. Viperfish and ravagers alike are going to try and invade the city and cause a lot of harm. We’re going to be pairing up and making a perimeter around the city. 

Agent 2: pairs are as follows: Agent 1 and Shiver are taking the South side of the city. Frye and I are taking the West. Agent 4 and Agent 3 are taking the North. Cap’n is on her own to the East. 

BombRushBlush: Big Man, you’ll be watching and keeping tabs from cameras while at base. Shiver, Frye, you are filling in as Agent 11 (Shiver) and Agent 12 (Frye). 

Agent 2: is everyone from either team good?

R8ller: not going to flood the chat, but all in Inkopolis is on board

DancingEels: Deep Cut is all good

Agent 3 Jr.: same here

Cap’n Jr.: Alright. Everyone to their respective bases. Good luck and stay safe

R8ller: and may the Splatfest God bless you all

EnbyBraids: here here!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(11:50 PM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

R8ller: we’re camped out and ready to do

Cap’n Jr.: same here. Switch to coms but keep chat open just in case. 

R8ller: 👍

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(1:26 AM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dedf1sh: is everyone okay?

R8ller: we’re safe on this side

Agent 2: I think we’re all fine 

BombRushBlush: nvm, 4 and Ny aren’t responding over coms

Cap’n Jr.: shit hold on

Cap’n Jr.: got them. One of the bastards aimed for Four’s headset and managed to knock it off

TriEye: hi. They also managed to nick one of my fins

TriEye: Ny and I got separated a tiny bit. Tracking her now. 

SharkWhisperer: Callie and I are on our way over. 

TriEye: SHIT

DancingEels: Marie and I are-

DancingEels: FUCJ EHST HAPPENED

TriEye: Ny’s out cold and not waking up 

Agent 2: oh no

Cap’n Jr.: EVERYONE ELSE ON THE SPLATLANDS TEAM NEEDS TO HEAD BACK TO BASE

Agent 2: sending Frye back now 

Cap’n Jr.: everyone, Marie

BombRushBlush: but 

Cap’n Jr.: No

Cap’n Jr.: Four is already in medic mode. We have no further threat. We can’t have other agents all swarming her. 

Cap’n Jr.: Go

Agent 2: fine. Yes ma’am

********************

“-la. N-la! NJÁLA!”

Ny slowly opens her eyes, eyelids heavy. The night sky is filled with a million little pin pricks of light. They’re far enough outside of the city that the stars are visible. 

They’re only blocked by two figures leaning over her. Two long, green and purple tentacles give off a soft glow as they hang over their owner’s shoulder. Beside them, a body makes a sky full of stars all on its own. Four’s Hansha heritage shines brightly, illuminating the dark sands around the trio. 

“She’s up.” Four says to Cap’n, “How are you feeling darling?”

It takes Njála a moment to realize the question is directed at her. “I’m fineeeee. Just… fuzzy.” she goes to sit up, but almost tips over when a wave of vertigo crashes over her. Cap’n catches her. 

“You are not fine.” she says, and Njála is surprised - or would be if the world wasn’t spinning - by the Cap’n using her voice for the second time since she’s known her. “We need to get her back to base.”

Four nods. “Do you want me to carry her, or should you?”

“I’ll do it, but here.” she slips off her headset and hands it to Four. “Update the others”

Four nods and slips on the headset, being extremely careful of her injured fin. She starts talking to Marie as Cap’n lifts Njála into a bridal carry. 

“Sleep. It’s a trek back to base and you aren’t doing too hot.” Cap’n gives her a soft smile. “You did well tonight.”

Njála smiles back. “Thanks Cap’n.” just like that, she slips back into unconsciousness. 

********************

“Okay. I’ll check back in when we get close.” Sophie turns off the headset that currently sits around her ears. She whips it off, letting the injured fin breathe. 

Laura lightly hip checks her. “Everything okay?”

Sophie sighs. “Marie is still pissed you sent them back.”

“I figured.” Laura grumbles. “I’m really worried about her.”

“Marie?”

“Njála.” Laura clarifies. 

“Ah.” there’s a long pause as the two crunch through the sand. “Should I put her to sleep.”

“She’s already asleep.” Laura smirks. 

Sophie rolls her eyes and flicks her girlfriend on her currently exposed ear. “You know what I mean. I don’t want her waking up until the morning.”

Laura ponders the offer. “Ya. Sure. Put her into deep sleep.”

Sophie nods and rests a hand on Ny’s forehead. The younger inkling shifts slightly before settling as Sophie pushes her even deeper into unconsciousness. The glowing agent sets the effect to lift at 8 in the morning, where it will slowly lift Njála to full conciseness. 

“What happened?” Laura finally asks. 

“To be honest, I’m not entirely sure. The ravagers pushed us apart, but it got stressful enough that she could have tapped into her Hoshinoko training.” Sophie explains. “I might have seen her eyes turn black, but it was so dark it was hard to tell.”

“So she could have partially connected and her body rebelled when she dropped it again.”

“Sounds like it.” Sophie rests a hand on Laura’s shoulder. “I think it’s time for her to see Tartar.”

“Agreed.” Laura says. “I’ll contact him in the morning. We have to be careful.”

“Okay. Well, we’re here.” Sophie points to the edge of the crater that the trio have been approaching. Laura pinches Njála on a pressure point, making her turn squid in her sleep. The partners superjump down into Alterna, Ny tucked safely in Laura’s tentacles. 

The others crowd them when they land and Sophie whistles to gain their attention. “Ny is fine, just really exhausted from the fight. We’re taking her home with us so we can keep an eye on her.”

The others look hesitant, but relent. “You all did amazing tonight. Get some sleep and feel free to sleep in tomorrow. We’ll see you all at 10.”

With that, the group breaks. Sophie and Laura sneak through the grate, but land in the original crater instead of the surface. From there, Sophie shifts them to their apartment. 

The pair makes quick work of settling Ny in their spare bed before passing out in their own. 

When they wake in the morning, it’s almost 8, so Sophie starts breakfast while Laura checks on their guest. 

As the clock ticks over to 8, Laura watches for signs of Njála rousing. Except… there are none. “Babe?” Laura calls. “Are you sure you set it to 8 AM?”

“Yep!”

“Well, she’s not waking up!” Laura calls, alarm raising in her voice. She shakes Ny, trying to stir the girl.

Sophie comes into the room just as Ny is starting to grumble. Both of the older inklings sigh with relief. 

Njála blinks her eyes open slowly, but they don’t seem to focus. Laura goes to take her hand, but flinches when she finds Ny’s skin hot to the touch. She quickly checks the girl’s forehead to find it scorching. 

“Fuck.”

********************

NSS Chat

(8:03 AM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EnbyBraids: soup’s great

R8ller: love soup

Dedf1sh: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

Cap’n Jr.: update: Njála has a raging fever. We’re taking her to a doctor now

**Several people are typing**

Chapter Text

NSS Chat

(9:00 AM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DancingEels: has anyone heard from cap and 4?

Agent 2: not recently 

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

EnbyBraids: Njála! How are you feeling?

Singular Man: I thought you’d still be out of it

Agent 3 Jr.: grjo 

BombRushBlush: what?

Agent 3 Jr.: miook 

Agent 3 Jr.: hrlp 

EnbyBraids: help? Do you need help?

Agent 3 Jr.: yed

Singular Man: fuck. Aren’t you with cap and 4?

Webmaster: TriEye has joined the chatroom. 

TriEye: I got it

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has left the chatroom 

TriEye: for future notice, Ny has medical trauma!

TriEye: Avoid unless completely necessary (like now)

EnbyBraids: euy boiii

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

Cap’n Jr.: not amazing

Cap’n Jr.: Luckily, we know a doctor who’s used to dealing with unusual illnesses. Ny was able to confirm, I’ll be it groggily, this is a side affect of her chronic illness. 

Singular Man: oh no. Who’s the doctor?

TriEye: Cap’s brother

EnbyBraids: your brother’s a doctor?!

Cap’n Jr.: Doctor and scientist ya. He took after our parents

TriEye: okay we need to go in now. Ttyl. 

Cap’n Jr.: we’ll keep you updated. 

Agent 2: good. 

EnbyBraids: send Ny our love!

TriEye: will do 

Webmaster: TriEye has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has left the chatroom. 

********************

Thee   Team Ever

(10:05 AM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Webmaster: R8ller has joined the chatroom. 

R8ller: how’s Ny doing?

Webmaster: TriEye has joined the chatroom. 

TriEye: not amazing

TriEye: we needed to hold her down when we got there, but she’s more coherent now. 

Webmaster: Dedf1sh has joined the chatroom. 

Dedf1sh: Tari freaked her out, didn’t he

TriEye: ohhhhhh ya. Word of warning, Njála has a scream that could rival Pearl

R8ller: Yeesh. Is she okay now?

TriEye: she calmed down a bit when Tari left the room and Laura’s explaining things now. 

TriEye: I needed to freeze her when we were trying to balance her levels which sucked, but she seems to be listening 

R8ller: did you take her phone?

TriEye: Yep. And she’s not getting it back till we know she won’t blab

Dedf1sh: fair enough. Can you let us talk to her?

TriEye: Laura just finished her schpiel so sure. I’ll transcribe 

Dedf1sh: great. Ask her how she’s feeling

TriEye: “Better than before. My fever is gone. But being here sucks”

R8ller: we know the feeling. Has anyone been actively hostile so far?

TriEye: “Yes and no. They haven’t hit me or anything, but they were holding me down pretty hard. To be fair I was struggling a lot”

Dedf1sh: anything make you shut down so far?

TriEye: “Uh… I mean, Four locked my body for a bit, but no mental nonsense. Tartar almost made me but… he was different

R8ller: that’s because he’s himself again. It isn’t the corruption talking

TriEye: “I guess. Could I

TriEye: omc she just asked to talk to him

R8ller: shell ya!

Dedf1sh: go Ny! 

TriEye: I’m gonna go. Ttyl

R8ller: byeeeeee

Webmaster: TriEye has left the chatroom. 

********************

NSS Chat

(2:00 PM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

EnbyBraids: key smash if you need help

Agent 3 Jr.: why can’t I key smash for fun?

Singular Man: YOURE BACK!!!!!!!!

Agent 3 Jr.: yep. The fever of mine broke around 9:45. I will be staying at the doctors for a couple of days, but I’m conscious and coherent

DancingEels: yayyyyyyyyyy

Agent 3 Jr.: pause. Everyone has been on since before I… what is words, arrived? But the last message was from like… 3 hours ago 

DJ_Hyperfresh: we all stayed on just in case you messaged again

BIGMAN: We wanted to make sure you had someone here if you needed it

Agent 3 Jr.: YOU GUYSSSSSS

Agent 3 Jr.: a bunch of nurses just attacked me cuz I started crying

MC.Princess: oh shit!

SharkWhisperer: attacked?!

Cap’n Jr.: Language 

Agent 3 Jr.: sorry wrong word

Agent 3 Jr.: Muragaru

Cap’n Jr.: ohhhh *swarmed

DancingEels: phew

Cap’n Jr.: you good Ny or do you need me to get them off you

Agent 3 Jr.: I’m good. I’m using the trick you taught me

TriEye: nice

Agent 2: any current symptoms we should be worried about?

Agent 3 Jr.: I don’t think so?

Agent 3 Jr.: common is funky now, but that could be because everyone is talking in octarian 

Agent 3 Jr.: too many languages. Octarian is fine but I must translate from Salci to speak common

BombRushBlush: yuck. Want us to switch to octarian?

Agent 3 Jr.: Just stick with common. I’m not actively using octarian right now since the nurses left

Agent 2: okay good. My octarian is too sloppy for that

BombRushBlush: we’re literally half octarian 

Agent 2: oh! What’s this? Shitty octarian lineage (except for our parents and aunt[s]) and our inkopolis and Cuttling dual citizenship?

DancingEels: since when have you been half octo?

Agent 2: since we were born :|

SharkWhisperer: wine aunt

Dedf1sh: mom friend 

Agent 3 Jr.: VIOLATION OF THE TRANS TRAIN CODE. SWITCHING TOPICS

Agent 3 Jr.: Ahato, have you decided on a name yet?

R8ller: what

Dedf1sh: name change

R8ller: ohhhh right

Dedf1sh: I think so. Basic context to all who are out of the loop…

Dedf1sh: I have no really strong connection to my family anymore. What memories I do have of them are fuzzy and not the most pleasant. 

Dedf1sh: and I wanted a more gender neutral name soooooooo drumroll please

R8ller: drrrrrrrrrrrr

TriEye: rrrrrrrrrrrrrr

BombRushBlush: rrrrrrrrrr

Cap’n Jr.: rrrrrrrrrrr

Agent 2: ha-cha!

Dedf1sh: I am now Acht!

R8ller: wait

SharkWhisperer: nice

R8ller: doesn’t that mean eight in another language?

Dedf1sh: yep

R8ller: I love you so fucking much come here

TriEye: awwwwwwwww

Webmaster: R8ller has banned Dedf1sh for 1 hour. 

R8ller: I’m making out with my partner bye

Webmaster: R8ller has left the chatroom. 

Agent 3 Jr.: cap I can hear you laughing from the hall

TriEye: Cap’s brother is also cackling 

Cap’n Jr.: he says hi btw. 

Singular Man: Hi Cap’s brother!

EnbyBraids: helloooooo!

TriEye: yay you made him smile. He needs to go back to making Ny feel better

SharkWhisperer: a very important mission. o7

DancingEels: o7

EnbyBraids: o7

Singular Man: o7

BIGMAN: o7

Agent 2: o7

BombRushBlush: o7

Agent 3 Jr.: he salutes back!

TriEye: we’re going to sign off 

Cap’n Jr.: We’ll be back soon. Ny will be staying with us for a few days while she recovers. 

Agent 3 Jr.: byeeeeeee

BIGMAN: get better soon

SharkWhisperer: sending love and healing your way

BombRushBlush: love ya!

R8ller: byeeeeeeee💙💖

Agent 2: see you soon

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has left the chatroom. 

Webmaster: TriEye has left the chatroom.  

********************

EnbyBraids & Singular Man

(2:30 PM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has joined the chatroom. 

EnbyBraids: babeeeeeeeee

EnbyBraids: BABBEEEEEEE

EnbyBraids: MY COMET. MY SHOOTING STAR

EnbyBraids: 

EnbyBraids: ELIIIII

Webmaster: Singular Man has joined the chatroom. 

EnbyBraids: ELIJAHHHHHH

Singular Man: wow. Getting out the full names

EnbyBraids: there you are

Singular Man: hello love

EnbyBraids: hiiiiiii

Singular Man: pray tell, why are you messaging me while we are in adjacent rooms?

EnbyBraids: cuz I don’t want the others hearing us

Singular Man: ??

EnbyBraids: I’m worried about Ny

Singular Man: I think we all are. 

EnbyBraids: no it’s… I listened in on a phone convo that Marie and Cap were having

Singular Man: Phoe! You know better

EnbyBraids: I know! I’m sorry! But even before using my powers, I could hear screaming from the other end of the line. 

EnbyBraids: like inky murder

Singular Man: okayyyyy. That’s concerning. 

EnbyBraids: I heard Cap say it was Ny. 

Singular Man: veryyy concerning

Singular Man: but didn’t 4 say she has medical trauma? 

EnbyBraids: maybe. But… something feels wrong about this 

Singular Man: let’s table it for now. Hanna’s calling us

Webmaster: Singular Man has left the chatroom. 

EnbyBraids: fine. But this discussion isn’t over

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has left the chatroom.

Chapter Text

NSS Chat

(10:00 AM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

Agent 3 Jr.: guess who’s back in her own place!

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has joined the chatroom. 

EnbyBraids: Yay! How are you feeling?

Agent 3 Jr.: Good! Cap’s brother is magic at this stuff

Webmaster: Singular Man has joined the chatroom. 

Agent 3 Jr.: well, not actually magic, but damn is he a good medic

Singular Man: glad to hear you’re feeling better! We were all pretty worried

Singular Man: especially Phoe. Xe was checking xer phone every five minutes 

Agent 3 Jr.: awwwwwww

EnbyBraids: well ya! Our friend was sick! Of course I’m gonna be worried

Webmaster: Agent 2 has joined the chatroom. 

Agent 2: glad to see you back Three. How are you feeling overall?

Agent 2: also, Phoenix, you will now be teased

Agent 3 Jr.: pretty good all things considered. Still a bit low on energy, but Cap’s given me the okay to come this afternoon. 

EnbyBraids: fuck

Agent 3 Jr.: I’m only gonna-

Agent 2: Language

Agent 3 Jr.: *WHEEZE* PHOE!

Singular Man: nice one 

EnbyBraids: thanks I try my best

EnbyBraids: what were you saying Ny?

Agent 3 Jr.: HA! Okay okay okay. I’m coming in at noon, but I’m just staying on coms. 4’s doing my patrol

Agent 2: sounds like a plan

Singular Man: and you promise to take it easy?

Agent 3 Jr.: yeesssssss. I promise

Singular Man: good. I’m holding you to that🖤

Agent 3 Jr.: 💛💜

Webmaster: BombRushBlush has joined the chatroom. 

BombRushBlush: hiiiiiii Ny! Can’t wait to see you!

Agent 3 Jr.: same here! 

BombRushBlush: what’ya doin rn

Agent 3 Jr.: just chilling in bed

Agent 2: good. Any meds you need help keeping track of?

Agent 3 Jr.: nope. After the fever broke it was kinda just muscle weakness and lethargy 

Agent 3 Jr.: and my brain not language-ing

EnbyBraids: oh ya how’s the language stuff going

Agent 3 Jr.: pretty okay now. It gets worse later in the day

Agent 3 Jr.: I’ve been testing my parents Salci when I call them cuz it’s easier

BombRushBlush: fair enough. 

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

BombRushBlush: sup cap 

Cap’n Jr.: hey.

Singular Man: how was chilling with ur brother

Cap’n Jr.: good. We’ve both been really busy recently so it was nice to have a bit of time to catch up. 

Webmaster: DancingEels has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: BIGMAN has joined the chatroom. 

Webmaster: SharkWhisperer has joined the chatroom. 

DancingEels: DEEP CUT IN DA HOUSEEEEE

SharkWhisperer: glad to hear you’re feeling better Ny

BIGMAN: ya! We need to have lunch again when you’re 100%

Agent 3 Jr.: yes!!! How has agent/ admin work been going 

SharkWhisperer: it’s pretty cool

DancingEels: ITS SO FUN

BIGMAN: admin work has been good. Acht is still going over stuff with me 

BIGMAN: captain, are they officially agent 13?

Cap’n Jr.: yes. We’ve solidified that position 

Agent 3 Jr.: dope!

DancingEels: then who gets 10? 

Agent 2: about that

Cap’n Jr.: Ny, mind if we talk about that when you get here?

Agent 3 Jr.: totally

EnbyBraids: ooooo swap time?

BombRushBlush: possibly??????

Agent 3 Jr.: probably???????

Agent 3 Jr.: anyways… Phoe, Eli, how u two doin

Singular Man: pretty good. Got some stuff figured out 

EnbyBraids: THE SCHOOL FORMS ARE DONEEEEEEE

BIGMAN: ayyyyyyyy!!!

Cap’n Jr.: nice!

DancingEels: woooooooo!!!

Agent 3 Jr.: that’s awesome!

Agent 2: I’ll have those documents ready for next time so the process is quicker

EnbyBraids: thank youuuuuuuuu

SharkWhisperer: you managed to do it without the documents?

EnbyBraids: yerp

Singular Man: Phoe’s really good at getting what xe wants. Xe did most of the talking, and harassing 

EnbyBraids: it worked though! 

Agent 3 Jr.: you go girlboss!

Agent 3 Jr.: *boss baby

EnbyBraids: thanks dar-

Agent 3 Jr.: uhhhhhh

Agent 2: HA

DancingEels: GIRL WHAT

SharkWhisperer: are you sure you’re not still a bit sick?!

Cap’n Jr.: Njála… 

Agent 3 Jr.: help

Webmaster: BIGMAN has left the chatroom. 

Singular Man: *WHEEZE*

Singular Man: PHOE IS DEAD I AM NOW SINGLE

Agent 3 Jr.: IM SORRY I PANICKED 

BombRushBlush: you have been screenshotted 

Agent 2: ohhhh this is going in the scrapbook 

Webmaster: R8ller has joined the chatroom. 

R8ller: why are two of my agents dead at the coffee table

Cap’n Jr.: scroll up 

Agent 3 Jr.: please no. Have mercy

R8ller: …

R8ller: Njála MiddleName Nightingale 

R8ller: thank you for this gift 

Webmaster: R8ller has changed EnbyBraids ’s name to BossBaby. 

Webmaster: R8ller has changed Singular Man ’s name to Single Man. 

Webmaster: R8ller has changed Agent 3 Jr. ’s name to GirlBoss. 

Webmaster: TriEye has joined the chatroom. 

TriEye: Cap told me to log on what is happening

GirlBoss: whyyyyyyyy Hanna whyyyyyyy

R8ller: fyi, Phoe’s nose is bleeding 

GirlBoss: WHAT WHY

Single Man: you made xer blush too hard

TriEye: omc I just caught up

TriEye: NJÁLA 😂

Cap’n Jr.: this is the most entertainment I’ve had in ages

Agent 2: I thought banging your gf for the first time in two months would be better, but guess I was wrong

TriEye: MARIE! NOT THE TIME

BossBaby: OOOOHHHHHHHHHH BURN

BossBaby: also who changed my name?!

SharkWhisperer: welcome back to the land of the living

GirlBoss: Phoe, I am so sry 

BossBaby: nah, dw about it! Kinda like it

DancingEels: damn, you’d think someone wants to be flirted with hmmmmmmmm

SharkWhisperer: apologies, she has been smacked

BombRushBlush: y’know who else has been smacked?

Cap’n Jr.: oh ya. Marie’s doing your patrol now Ny

Single Man: HA

BossBaby: serves her right

R8ller: pfffffttttt

BossBaby: anywaysssss

Webmaster: BossBaby has changed their name to EnbyBraids. 

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has changed Single Man ’s name to Singular Man.

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has changed GirlBoss ’s name to Agent 3 Jr..

R8ller: booooooo

EnbyBraids: sorry not sorry

TriEye: Hanna, I love you

TriEye: but you really aren’t beating the youngest agent allegations 

Cap’n Jr.: oh ya. That’s for sure

DancingEels: wait, is Hanna the youngest?

Agent 3 Jr.: no way! She’s a senior agent!

TriEye: and yet, she is child

SharkWhisperer: how old is everyone?

BombRushBlush: Mar and I are 26, Pearl is 25, Marina is 22

Singular Man: me, phoe, and I’m assuming Ny are all 21?

Agent 3 Jr.: turning 21, currently 20. I’ve got a late November birthday 

EnbyBraids: rip

DancingEels: big man is 22, shiv is 23 and I’m 20

R8ller: damn. The new guys were my only chance. 

R8ller: Acht is 19 and I’m 18

Agent 3 Jr.: JEEZ

SharkWhisperer: how old were you when you joined?!

R8ller: I was 14

DancingEels: GIRL TGE FUVK

R8ller: *shrugs*

Agent 3 Jr.: wait. Cap, Four, how old are you?

Cap’n Jr.: 22, turning 23 at the end of this month 

SharkWhisperer: and Four?

TriEye: same

DancingEels: are you guys birthday twins or smth?

Cap’n Jr.: nearly. Our birthdays are five days apart

Agent 2: we usually celebrate them both at the same time 

Agent 3 Jr.: cool!!!

SharkWhisperer: but srsly, why are you basically a child Hanna

R8ller: because I am

EnbyBraids: mood. Even Acht can drink

R8ller: jokes on you, drinking age in the empire is 14 with permission from a superior 

Agent 2: y’know, I forgot about that

BombRushBlush: ohhhhh ya I drank a bit with some of the recruits who were watching me

BombRushBlush: they were… I wanna say 15? 16?

DancingEels: rightttttt, Shiv you’ve takes about this

SharkWhisperer: yep

Cap’n Jr.: setting the alcohol consumption aside, we have work to do 

BombRushBlush: says the woman with the tolerance of a god

Singular Man: ya. Sadly

EnbyBraids: how u doin Ny?

Agent 3 Jr.: still regretting my life choices 

TriEye: fair enough. See you at noon?

Agent 3 Jr.: yep

Agent 3 Jr.: I’m actually gonna start getting ready

Agent 3 Jr.: the fine motor control is leaving much to be desired with these FUCKING BRAIDS

TriEye: tie em up for now. I can do them when you get here

Agent 3 Jr.: THANK YOUUUUUU

EnbyBraids: oooooo ya I feel your pain

R8ller: signing off. Love ya!

Singular Man: guess that means we’re going too

EnbyBraids: byeeeeeeee

Webmaster: R8ller has left the chatroom.

Webmaster: Singular Man has left the chatroom.

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has left the chatroom.

DancingEels: bye! Shiv and I need to do the news 

Webmaster: DancingEels has left the chatroom. 

SharkWhisperer: see ya later. We’ll pop by after announcements

Cap’n Jr.: see you then

Webmaster: SharkWhisperer has left the chatroom. 

Agent 2: I guess I’ll start that patrol

Agent 3 Jr.: lmao

Cap’n Jr.: I think Cal and I are gonna watch

BombRushBlush: yep! See u soon Ny

Agent 3 Jr.: Sys!

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has left the chatroom.

Webmaster: Agent 2 has left the chatroom.

Webmaster: BombRushBlush has left the chatroom. 

TriEye: I’m gonna stay on just in case. 

Agent 3 Jr.: great! Thank you. 

TriEye: 😁

********************

EnbyBraids & Singular Man

(11:00 AM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has joined the chatroom.

EnbyBraids: Eli I canttttttttttt

Webmaster: Singular Man has joined the chatroom. 

Singular Man: what can’t you do now? 

EnbyBraids: SHES TOO CUTE

EnbyBraids: her sense of style is so cool and her tentacles are so pretty (and they’re unique like ours) and damn can she fight

EnbyBraids: AND SHE GOES TO OUR SCHOOL! 

Singular Man: ahhhhhhhh

Singular Man: I see

EnbyBraids: am I wrong?!

Singular Man: HAH! No. She’s adorable 

EnbyBraids: and she’s polyyyyyyy

Singular Man: okay maybe we talk about adding Ny to our relationship when we aren’t on the clock

EnbyBraids: ughhhhhh fine

EnbyBraids: let me suffer in my gay pining sorrow

Singular Man: I am right here

EnbyBraids: I know. I love youuuuuu🧡

Singular Man: I love you too🖤

Singular Man: Boss Baby

EnbyBraids: oh ya we are KEEPING that

Singular Man: *WHEEZE*

Singular Man: GOOD

Singular Man: okay. Work time 

EnbyBraids: booooooo

Webmaster: Singular Man has left the chatroom.

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has left the chatroom.

Chapter Text

NSS Chat

(3:00 PM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Webmaster: DancingEels has joined the chatroom. 

DancingEels: quick question

DancingEels: What is the deal with the heels?

DancingEels: like are they required?

Webmaster: BombRushBlush has joined the chatroom. 

BombRushBlush: not that I’m aware of? Why?

DancingEels: because I am not used to doing anything in heels

Webmaster: SharkWhisperer has joined the chatroom. 

SharkWhisperer: and like… half of you wear them

BombRushBlush: …

BombRushBlush: the combat boots?!

DancingEels: yaaaaaaa

BombRushBlush: ahhhh ya. Cap, four and Hanna, and now Acht I guess, just like wearing them

BombRushBlush: octarian armour inspired. I have heels on my shoes too but they’re a different style

BombRushBlush: we usually make sure everyone can work in any type of shoe, but heels aren’t required 

DancingEels: so at some point we’re gonna train in heels?

BombRushBlush: yep!

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. has joined the chatroom.

Cap’n Jr.: it’s absolutely hilarious 

SharkWhisperer: ya right. How often do you wear like… tall heels

Cap’n Jr.: Four wears 2 inch platforms every day cuz she’s short

Cap’n Jr.: our usual combat boots are also about a half inch platform with an extra half inch heel. Fours are higher

BombRushBlush: 🐸

Cap’n Jr.: but both of us have fought in 8 inch stilettos before and didn’t break a heel

Cap’n Jr.: kk Cal

DancingEels: my cod

SharkWhisperer: I rescind my previous skepticism 

Webmaster: TriEye has joined the chatroom.

TriEye: why are you calling me short

Cap’n Jr.: because you are naturally 5’2

TriEye: sHUT

DancingEels: maybe you’re just too tall Cap 

SharkWhisperer: I LOVE my partners, but kisses are a bit hard when one of you is a lot taller than the others. BUT ITS WORTH IT

DancingEels: AGREED

Webmaster: BIGMAN has joined the chatroom. 

BIGMAN: awwwwwwww. Thank you!

SharkWhisperer: please hold, I am smooching the man

TriEye: an acceptable reason to step away from your phone

TriEye: and ya, I might be short, but Cap you are above average

Cap’n Jr.: fair enough

Cap’n Jr.: I’m still excited to see the dominos fall next time we have heels practice

DancingEels: rude

TriEye: nah she’s right. It’s very entertaining 

BIGMAN: do I get a pass? Heels don’t really work with my biology 

TriEye: yes. You can join us in the silly zone

SharkWhisperer: do I get a pass?

Cap’n Jr.: no

SharkWhisperer: homophobia 

Cap’n Jr.: ✨Lesbianism✨

SharkWhisperer: sexism

Cap’n Jr.: Eli does it too

DancingEels: she’s got you there

SharkWhisperer: Damn

DancingEels: also sorry, but what was the thing Callie sent?

Cap’n Jr.: uhhh… how do we explain the toad

TriEye: it basically means she’s stepping away from her phone 

TriEye: there’s a story but it takes a while to explain

SharkWhisperer: good to know 

BombRushBlush: I return

BIGMAN: welcome back. We learned of your toad 

BombRushBlush: ah yes. Our beautiful toad

TriEye: praise be

Cap’n Jr.: praise be

DancingEels: praise be

BIGMAN: praise be

BombRushBlush: praise be

SharkWhisperer: praise be

Webmaster: DJ_Hyperfresh has joined the chatroom.

DJ_Hyperfresh: what did I just walk into

BombRushBlush: blessed toad

DJ_Hyperfresh: ah

DJ_Hyperfresh: praise be

DJ_Hyperfresh: and yes, heels training is hilarious. Quite enjoyable

Cap’n Jr.: right?! Thank you

SharkWhisperer: uhhghggggg

DancingEels: what if no

Cap’n Jr.: what if I’m your commanding officer and it’s part of your training

TriEye: oooooooooooooooo

DJ_Hyperfresh: you aren’t getting out of this

SharkWhisperer: fine. I will suffer 

DancingEels: we can suffer together babe

BIGMAN: and I’ll cheer you on

SharkWhisperer: thank youuuuu

DancingEels: quick question (yet again)

TriEye: yerp?

DancingEels: how is the sickly child

Cap’n Jr.: isnt she older than you?

DancingEels: nope! I’ve got two months on her babyyyyyyy

Cap’n Jr.: nevermind. Good for you

BombRushBlush: YOU LOOK HAPPY AND HEALTHY NOT ME

TriEye: Ny is doing okay. First day back has been chill. 

Cap’n Jr.: she’s taking a break from electronics for a bit. Said she was getting a headache 

SharkWhisperer: awwwwwww

TriEye: mostly okay. She says hi 

BombRushBlush: she’s just listening to Marie running her patrols on coms. It’s very silly

BIGMAN: I’m glad she’s feeling better 

BIGMAN: how is Marie’s patrol going

DancingEels: probably chill as per usual 

BombRushBlush: pretty much

BombRushBlush: Marie is grumbling a lot tho

DancingEels: tell her we say hi 

BombRushBlush: will do

SharkWhisperer: so other than that, how’s the day been

BombRushBlush: pretty go-

BombRushBlush: MAYDAY MAYDAY

BIGMAN: oh no

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has joined the chatroom. 

Agent 3 Jr.: all available agents, converge in Marie’s current position 

Agent 3 Jr.: Cap’n would be giving this message, but she is also booking it

Agent 3 Jr.: viperfish REALLY doesn’t like us

SharkWhisperer: we’re already on our way

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has joined the chatroom. 

EnbyBraids: definition of all available agents

 Agent 3 Jr.: literally anyone. They’re swarmed and I’m down

EnbyBraids: @Inkopolis

Webmaster: Singular Man has joined the chatroom.

Webmaster: R8ller has joined the chatroom.

Singular Man: ready when you need me

R8ller: the rest of us are out of range

R8ller: Phoe, don’t waste energy on us. GO

DancingEels: wait what (I’m using voice to text)

Agent 3 Jr.: OH MY FUCKING COD

********************

Njála can’t help but screech as two figures appear in a flash behind her. She flails and spins for a second, going for her weapon, before two large hands take hers. 

Ny looks up into the sapphire eyes of Eli. His long navy and gold tentacles fall over his shoulders, complementing his dark skin and vitiligo. 

“Ny, it’s us. You’re okay.” He says. Ny lets out a sigh of relief. Phoenix walks up beside the pair and cups Njála’s face with one hand. 

“Hey gorgeous, sorry for startling you.” Xe says sweetly. Phoenix looks ethereal; they both do, really. Phoe’s coral tentacles fade into pinks and oranges, decorated by gold bands. Light, freckled skin is accompanied by beautiful blue eyes with green, star shaped pupils. 

Both of their agent uniforms match their styles very well. Eli has long sleeves and pants while Phoe’s takes after the cuttling outfits xe often wears. They both look at Ny like she crafted the stars in the sky. She can’t help but flush under their attention. 

“It’s-” Ny hides her voice crack with a cough, “it’s fine. Just unexpected. How did you…”

Phoenix lifts xer other hand in front of Ny. It shimmers as tendrils of magic swirl and fold around it. “Remember how Hanna said her mom has a voodoo obsession?”

Ny remembers the conversation vaguely. Something about a ritual… “Ohhhhhh.” She draws out as the explanation dawns on her. 

“Yep.” Xe says, taking the hand away as footsteps can be heard racing up the metal stairs outside. “Now, where’s Marie?” 

It’s at this moment that Deep Cut bursts in through the door. Shiver holds it open, letting Frye dash to their gear and Big Man waddles through. “Was this what the swearing was about?” They ask, pointing between Eli and Phoenix who are still holding onto Njála. 

Ny nods. “Got a bit jumpscared, but I’m okay. Now, if you’ll let me spin around,” Phoe and Eli let go of her just long enough for the younger agent to spin around and check the monitors. Each of them takes a shoulder and leans on it lightly. 

Frye runs back into the room and chucks a pair of boots, a jacket, and a headset at Shiver who has since closed the door. Big Man joins Njála at his station. 

“Marie’s in sector 4, north side, on top of Shiver’s arena. Superjump as close as sector 3, otherwise you’ll get swarmed.” Ny clocks a few more buttons on the keyboard in front of her. “Disregard, Superjumping is not available. The others have made it as far as the west side of sector three. Viperfish has swarmed surrounding areas as well.”

“Merde.” Phoe curses. “Where’s the clearest place in sector 4?” 

Big Man responds this time. “The north-east corner is pretty clear, around the fifth kettle.”

“Great.” Xe turns to the two idols. “Are you alright if I bampf us there?”

Shiver and Frye are just finishing suiting up. They glance at each other and nod. “If it gets us there quicker, yes.”

Phoe squeezes Ny’s shoulder before running to grab shiver and Frye’s hands, Eli taking their space across from xer. “This is going to feel a bit weird, but shouldn’t make you too nauseous. Ready?”

“Let’s do it!” Frye beams. Shiver grips the others hands tightly and smiles in kind. With one last look Ny’s way, Phoe closes xer eyes and with a flash, all four agents are gone. 

Seconds later they all appear in the north-east corner of sector 4. Between Ny and Big Man guiding them all and the rest of the agents tag teaming the assailants, it doesn’t take long to clear the area. Cap takes extra long finding the entrance the gang used and sealing it. 

The Squidbeak Splatoon regroups at their base as Four patches Marie up, swearing the whole time. “If we hadn’t sent you on that patrol on your own, none of this would’ve happened!”

Marie cups Four’s face with her uninjured arm, the other having a sizable gash that Four is patching up. “If I hadn’t been there, it would have been you. You’re family, Four. I would do it again in a heartbeat.”

Four sighs and Cap gives her a hug. The shorter agent turns to the others. “Everyone gets to take a break tonight. Late start tomorrow.” A few of the agents cheer. “Phoe, Eli, thank you for coming here.”

“No problem!” Phoe smiles and winks. “We’re all here for each other. However…” xe purses xer lips, “ I may be a bit out of juice for the night.”

Eli slaps his forehead. Ny chuckles. “That’s fine. I have a spare room at my place. You can stay the night.”

“Are you sure?” Eli asks. Ny nods. 

Phoe beams and tackles Ny into a hug. “Thank you thank you thank you!!!”

Ny laughs and squeezes Phoe back. Anan, who up to this point has been sitting in Ny’s hood, jumps onto his owner’s head. 

“Oh! And who’s this little guy?” Phoe asks. 

Ny detaches from xer and holds out her hands for the smallfry to drop down. “This is Anan, my little buddy.” Anan chirps happily as Phoe scritches his head. “Awwwww. He likes you!”

The little salmonid leaves Njála’s grasp and jumps into Phoe’s arms. Eli comes over and similarly greets Anan. “Why Anan?” He asks. 

Njála laughs and points to his tuft of hair. “It’s short for Ananas, which means pineapple in Salci.”

Phoe squees in delight at xe ruffles the little pineapple leaf hair on top of Anan’s head. “That is adorable!”

Ny blushes ever so slightly. “Anyways… my place?” The other two agents nod and the trio bids the rest goodnight. They all jump out into Splatsville proper and Phoenix quickly switches xer and Eli back to casual clothes with a wave of xer hand. 

“Neat trick.” Ny says, not worrying since she hadn’t been wearing agent gear to begin with. 

“Thank ye kindly.” Phoe giggles. Eli slings an arm around Njála’s shoulders. 

“You sure this is all good? We’re not kicking you onto the couch?” He asks. Ny chuckles and leans into him. 

“Nope. You’re good. It’s a two bedroom apartment.” Ny smiles. “Though I wouldn’t mind taking the couch if needed.”

“No!” Phoe and Eli shout at the same time. Ny jumps and turns squid on instinct, causing Anan to go flying. Eli catches the smallfry while Phoe grabs Ny’s plummeting form. Xe holds the squid in xer arms. 

“Phoe!” Ny warbles. 

“One, I’ll put you down if you really want me to, but you’re recovering.” The cuttling looks down at the fellow agent in xer arms. Njála grumbles a little before burrowing a bit further into the crick of Phoe’s elbow. 

“Good. Two, we would not kick you out of your bed. We’d be the ones taking the couch. Got it?” Ny nods. “Awesome. Now, directions?”

Njála laughs and gives them directions, eventually being set down when they reach the door. Anan elects to stay in the arms of his carrier. “He likes you.” Ny says.

The three get situated in Ny’s apartment. It doesn’t take them long to pass out completely after such a hectic day.

Chapter Text

Ny wakes up in the morning to the smell of food cooking in her kitchen and Anan shoving his little flippers in her face. 

“Anan,” she groans, trying to push him off, “get off.” Unfortunately for the Salci agent, her sidekick is persistent. In her flailing, she faintly hears giggling from outside her door. 

“Alright! Alright! I’m up!” Ny groans as she sits up blearily and puts Anan on her head. Her unbraided tentacles hang loosely on either side of her face. She gets up and walks to the door quietly, still able to hear the giggling from the other side. 

In one smooth motion, Ny grabs the handle, opens the door, and catches the falling Phoenix who’s back rest was just wrenched out from under xer. Xe looks up at Njála with very big eyes. 

“Good morning.” Ny smiles as she sets her house guest upright. “Eli, your joyfriend’s falling for me.”

Eli barks a laugh from the kitchen and Phoenix lives up to xer namesake as blush akin to fire ignites along xer face. They both enter the kitchen where Eli is flipping pancakes on the stove. 

“Good morning! Saw you had pancakes on the roster. Hope this is okay.” Eli says, gesturing to the meal plan magnetized to Ny’s fridge. 

Ny smiles. “Thank you. You spoil me.” She walks over to Anan’s food bowl, which has yet to be filled. She grabs his food and the little smallfry goes to town on his breakfast. The clock on the stove says 7:23. A decent time to wake up on a late work day. 

Eli smiles as he expertly slides a pancake onto the previously made stack. “It’s the least we can do. Thanks for letting us crash here.”

Phoe gives Ny a hug from the side. “Seriously, thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome.” Ny says, hugging her fellow agent back. Phoe’s loose tentacles tickle her neck. “Hey, would you mind doing my tentacles up when you do yours? My hands are still a bit shaky.”

Phoe perks up. “Yes! Of course! I love braiding tentacles!”

“Xe really does. If your lucky, xe’ll only put one charm in.” Eli chuckles as he turns everything off and brings the pancake stack to the already set table. 

“Oh. My. Cod! Can I please put charms in?!” Phoe grips onto Ny’s arm tightly as xe drags the girl over to the table. 

“I guess? If you want to.” Ny says, grabbing a pancake as she sits down. 

The trio eat and talk merrily. When they’re done, Phoe sits Ny down in her living room and starts to braid. 

“You like clouds, right? Your name means cloud and something if I remember correctly.” Xe says as xe sorts through xer charms, most of which xe just summoned from xer collection back home. 

Ny gives her approval and the cuttling gets to work. For a while, Njála and Eli talk while Phoenix focuses, but just as xe’s finishing, Ny goes weirdly silent. 

Eli notices and frowns. “Ny? You okay?” He asks, receiving no response back. Phoe also stops and jiggles Ny’s shoulder a bit. Again, no response. 

Just as Phoe is about to try… something to help, anything to help, Ny shoots her head back from where it was hanging, slamming into Phoe’s hands and torso. 

And

She

Screams

Loud and sharp, very familiar to the terror Phoe heard over the phone while Ny was in the hospital. Eli surges forward and grabs the inkling’s arms, ready to catch her if and when she falls forward.

And fall forward she does as the screaming stops just as quick as it started. Ny collapses to the floor, pillowed in Eli’s arms, breathing heavily. 

“What the fuck was that?!” Njála says as soon as she recovers. 

Eli and Phoe share a look. “We were hoping you’d know.” Phoe says. “Did I trigger something?”

“No. No, I love getting my tentacles done. It can’t be that.” Ny shakes her head. “It could be chronic? Maybe? That’s never happened before.”

Just as Ny starts to move to get up, all three of their phones go off. Eli grabs his out of his pocket and reads it aloud. 

“From the Captain, Cal and Mar are running things today. Four, Hanna, Acht and possibly Ny are all out sick.”

The trio looks at each other as the news settles in. 

“Fuck.”

********************

NSS Chat

(8:14 AM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cap’n Jr.: Cal and Mar are running things today. Four, Hanna, Acht and possibly Ny are all out sick

Webmaster: Singular Man has joined the chatroom. 

Singular Man: We have Ny with us… and ya

Webmaster: R8ller has joined the chatroom. 

R8ller: Seizure day. Yayyyyyyyy

Webmaster: DJ_Hyperfresh has joined the chatroom. 

Singular Man: WHAT?!

DJ_Hyperfresh: Hanna, be nice 

R8ller: I’m not wrong

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has joined the chatroom.

Agent 3 Jr.: seizures?! Is that what that was?

Cap’n Jr.: brace

Agent 3 Jr.: what is going ojjkjbdhdjdhj

Cap’n Jr.: longgggg story

Cap’n Jr.: message when ur back

Singular Man: omc what is happening

DJ_Hyperfresh: sadly, this just happens sometimes 

Singular Man: why did we not know about this?!

Cap’n Jr.: most likely because you’ve never been present for it before. 

DJ_Hyperfresh: Pearl and I usually look after Acht and Hanna when this happens and Cap’s got Four

R8ller: back. Ow

Agent 3 Jr.: also back

R8ller: Acht’s groaning but conscious 

Agent 3 Jr.: I have no clue what’s going on

Cap’n Jr.: Remember the side effects we talked about? This is one of them. 

Agent 3 Jr.: fuck

DJ_Hyperfresh: normally I’d say language but I feel that’s justified 

Singular Man: is there anything we can do to help?

Cap’n Jr.: let it happen. If Ny freezes, know you have anywhere from 2-20 seconds before the pain kicks in. 

R8ller: being surrounded in soft things is good. I like having my upper body in someone’s lap but that’s just preference 

Agent 3 Jr.: that actually sounds nice 

Agent 3 Jr.: are these really seizures though? It just feels like the world stops and then is painful when it starts again

R8ller: it’s not exactly a seizure but we don’t know what else to call it 

Agent 3 Jr.: Glitching? 

R8ller: oooooooo ya that’s better

Cap’n Jr.: brace

Singular Man: how frequently do these glitches (?) happen?

Cap’n Jr.: they’re mostly random

Singular Man: then how can you tell?

DJ_Hyperfresh: that was a quick one 

Cap’n Jr.: I have something that tracks them. Also four is really good at sensing when they’re coming. 

R8ller: acht’s still down 

Webmaster: EnbyBraids has joined the chatroom. 

EnbyBraids: I have Ny in my lap now. The leg has been removed for maximum comfort 

R8ller: awesome

R8ller: any news about how long this’ll last for?

EnbyBraids: that would be nice to know

Cap’n Jr.: hold on. I’m adding all those afflicted to a group chat

Agent 3 Jr.: yay

Cap’n Jr.: and it’s private, so no peeking over shoulders >Bl

Singular Man: fair enough 

EnbyBraids: ugh fine

********************

Lost in da Sauce

(8:56 AM)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Webmaster: Cap’n Jr. added R8ller , Dedf1sh , and Agent 3 Jr. 

Cap’n Jr.: welcome

Webmaster: Agent 3 Jr. has joined the chatroom.

Agent 3 Jr.: I approve of the chat name

Webmaster: Dedf1sh has joined the chatroom.

Agent 3 Jr.: who else is in here?

TriEye: yello 

Dedf1sh: hi. I’m very ow

Webmaster: R8ller has joined the chatroom. 

TriEye: likewise

R8ller: Ny has named these glitch days and I feel it’s more appropriate 

Cap’n Jr.: I think so too, but as one of the two people in here who is immune, I leave that decision to you

TriEye: I like it

Dedf1sh: same

Agent 3 Jr.: awwww ty guys

Agent 3 Jr.: wait, one of the two?

FishnChips: sup

R8ller: that’s the name you chose?

FishnChips: I am sauce. Inside and out 

Agent 3 Jr.: I am very confused 

Dedf1sh: Tartar sauce

Agent 3 Jr.: OHHHHHHHHH

Agent 3 Jr.: hi Tari

FishnChips: hi lil cloud

Agent 3 Jr.: 💛💜

R8ller: welcome to the wonders of sanitation 

TriEye: you are only at 25%. You’re lowwwwwww

Dedf1sh: 40 sucks too

R8ller: not everyone likes to be so high Ms dating the leader of the Hoshinoko

TriEye: yea yea yea 

Cap’n Jr.: Njála’s higher than you

FishnChips: and it’s her first time with the glitches

Agent 3 Jr.: ya ow. Thanks for the lack of warning 

TriEye: sorry. This hasn’t happened in a while

R8ller: three things, one, why r we glitching this time, two, is anyone really sick yet, three, what’s Ny at % wise?

FishnChips: tbh idk how it happened. It seems like someone hacked the server and shut it down. I should have it fixed by the end of the day. I’ve put out top scientists and engineers on my personal supply so we are getting things done 

FishnChips: some people are a bit sick, ya, but no one is in danger of dying yet. Doctors are on their own backup generator

Agent 3 Jr.: I’m sorry, DYING?!

Cap’n Jr.: some of the Hoshinoko were brought in because they were terminal patients. It comes back when the systems down

Agent 3 Jr.: fuuuuuuccckkkkkkk

Agent 3 Jr.: and tbh I don’t remember what u bumped me to

FishnChips: 70%. You were very ill 

Dedf1sh: JEEZ

Cap’n Jr.: brace

FishnChips: *Jeopardy theme plays*

Cap’n Jr.: you are a decade older than me, Tartar Kamabo. How am I the mature one?

FishnChips: mature my ass Ms shifted 20 km away when mom tried to put you in a dress 

FishnChips: you’re worried about Soph and I make jokes when I’m stressed

Cap’n Jr.: why r u right

Cap’n Jr.: I miss you

FishnChips: I miss you too. BIG hugs next time we see each other 

Cap’n Jr.: yessssss

Cap’n Jr.: oop

R8ller: back

Dedf1sh: back

Agent 3 Jr.: back

TriEye: back

Dedf1sh: how loud is it over there Tar?

FishnChips: really quiet and then loud

Dedf1sh: that tracks

Agent 3 Jr.: amputated limbs are comfy 

R8ller: someone’s still out of it

FishnChips: *WHEEZE* what?!

TriEye: I am also confused 

Cap’n Jr.: she’s lying in Phoe’s lap

FishnChips: coral cuttling who the queen put through a weird ritual to give them both magic powers and then controlled said cuttling til you all set xer free and the Takowasas kissed and made up?

Agent 3 Jr.: damn. I did not know the full extent of that 

TriEye: yes, xer

FishnChips: Anyyyywhooooooo

FishnChips: we should be clear by the end of the day. Ny, have fun being gay

R8ller: that’s good. Also what

Dedf1sh: what is particularly gay?

Agent 3 Jr.: TARI sHUT

TriEye: ooooooooooo

Cap’n Jr.: does someone have a crush?!

Agent 3 Jr.: I ADMIT NOTHING

FishnChips: I believe the answer is yes. 

Agent 3 Jr.: NO THE ANSWER IS NO

FishnChips: some of your friends in the hive mind would say otherwise

Agent 3 Jr.: …

R8ller: ooooooooooooooo

Dedf1sh: hive mind already?

Agent 3 Jr.: tbh I grew up with it. Even tho I tried to shut down the sanitized part of me, I still had voices of the others in the back of my head till I was

Agent 3 Jr.: idk… 14 almost 15? Summer of 14,117. Then everything got really quiet for some reason 

Cap’n Jr.: do you remember what time of year it was?

Agent 3 Jr.: end of summer, almost September 

TriEye: that’s right around the time Laura and I moved to Inkopolis

FishnChips: I don’t remember a whole lot from when I was… y’know, but I do remember getting a feeling that you were closer

Cap’n Jr.: that shouldn’t have been possible. I was very much off

FishnChips: big brother instincts 

Dedf1sh: the ones that also kidnapped said sister

TriEye: I was gonna say

FishnChips: betrayal 

R8ller: deserved /j

Cap’n Jr.: we need not worry

Cap’n Jr.: I went from “who the fuck are you” to “oh dear brother, you are sick and corrupt.”

Cap’n Jr.: “I shall help by PUNCHING YOU IN THE FACE AND BODY”

Agent 3 Jr.: *WHEEZE*

Agent 3 Jr.: I was shown the whole debacle but that is the best way I have ever heard it described 

TriEye: meanwhile I was very sauced. Lost in it even