Chapter Text
Shane stepped down from the step ladder and looked at the streamers he had strung up through the kitchen. “Look okay to you?” He smiled down at Jas.
She bounced up and down while nodding with her hands held at her chest. “I love it, Uncle Shane!”
“I’m glad you like it, kid.” He smiled and ruffled her hair as she giggled and ran to sit at the kitchen table.
“Can we frost the cake yet, Aunt Marnie?”
“Almost!” Marnie said as she rummaged through kitchen drawers, “I’m sure by the time I find these sprinkles it’ll be ready.” Jas squealed excitedly and kicked her legs under the table.
“You know, we could’ve gotten a cake from Jojamart.” Shane said.
“But it wouldn’t have been special!” Jas insisted as he picked up the cake and moved it to the table, “And Aunt Marnie’s cake is better than the one at the store anyway!”
“That I agree with.” Shane mumbled as he placed the cake down. Marnie made an appeased noise as she found and grabbed a few different sprinkles.
On her way to the table, she picked up the bowl of frosting and a spatula. “Here we go, all ready!” She put all the decorative items down and sat in the chair across from Shane.
“Yay!” Jas beamed as she dipped the spatula into the white frosting, lifting a glob and slapping it onto the cake with a ‘plop’ noise. She stuck her tongue out while carefully spreading the frosting into a thin layer on top of the cake.
“You said Cole was coming, right Shane?” Marnie asked from across the table.
“Yeah, I told him at 5:00. He’s usually on time for things so he should be here soon.”
“Good, it’s been a while since we’ve been able to catch up.” She paused for a moment, “Is Jack doing good?”
“Oh, yeah. He loves it out there with the chickens. They’re doing good too, by the way. He’s taking really good care of them.”
“That’s such a relief.” Marnie sighed with a smile, “I knew he would, but it’s reassuring to hear it.”
“Is that where Cocoa and Sugar went?” Jas asked suddenly while grabbing the sprinkles.
“Yeah, did we not tell you that?” Shane asked.
“I knew you sold them, but I didn’t know it was to Mr. Cole.” She hummed happily while shaking pink sprinkles over the poorly frosted cake. “I’m glad he bought the chickens. That way I can still see them!” She paused thoughtfully, “And I can see his doggy! What breed is he?”
“He’s a golden retriever. His fur is pretty dirty though, I don’t know if you’d wanna pet him.”
“That’s okay, I can just wash my hands.” She smiled and went back to her cake, finishing off with some rainbow sprinkles before throwing her hands up. “All done!”
“Looks great, Jas. Very pretty.” Shane smiled and gave her shoulder a squeeze. She giggled and turned to look at the front door as it clicked open.
“Howdy!” Cole stepped into view and gave a brief wave before shutting the door behind him.
“Hi, Mr. Cole!” He stepped into the kitchen with a present wrapped in purple paper tucked under his arm.
“If it isn’t the birthday girl! You feel any older yet?”
“Not really, hehe.”
“Eh, nobody ever does.” He grinned and placed the gift on the floor next to Shane’s chair. “And who decorated that cake, it looks amazing! Was it your Aunt Marnie?” Cole spoke in a softer tone, the one Shane noticed he used with animals and children.
“No, I did!” Jas beamed.
“You did?! I never would’ve guessed! It looks like a professional made this.”
Shane tried to hide a smile as Cole talked to Jas some more. He had a way with kids that Shane didn’t. It was something he admired about Cole.
Shane listened as Jas chatted away, changing the subject to one of her cartoons. Cole nodded along and asked questions when appropriate. It was clear he had no clue what she was talking about, but made an effort to listen anyway.
After a few minutes, Marnie interjected, “Jas, do you want to play a game since Mr. Cole is here?” Jas looked at Marnie and nodded excitedly. “Okay, I’ll put the cake on the counter while you grab one.” Marnie smiled kindly and stood up with the cake.
Jas got up from her seat and ran to the cabinet on the far side of the room, rummaging through it.
“I made an educated guess with her present. Hope she likes it.” Cole mumbled to Shane.
“I’m sure she will. She’ll like anything as long as there's thought behind it.”
“I should be in the clear, then.” He paused for a moment, “Since I’m here, do I finally get to meet those chickens later?” Shane felt his chest swell and desperately attempted to push the feeling down.
“Yeah, sure.” He said with forced casualty.
Marnie and Jas both returned to the table, Marnie with an extra chair that she placed on the long end of the table next to Jas and adjacent to Shane.
“Oh! Thank you, Marnie. Could’ve grabbed it myself.” Cole said as he took a seat.
“It’s no trouble, really.”
Jas put a big red box on the table. On the top in yellow lettering, it read ‘Catan’.
“Good pick! I played this all the time when I was your age.” Cole said as he helped take the game out of the box.
“It’s my favorite!” She said proudly.
“You played Catan as a kid?” Shane asked.
“And I was dang good at it too.”
“He was.” Marnie confirmed with a laugh.
Jas and Cole set up the board together with Marnie and Shane organizing pieces and placing them in piles. Cole and Jas flipped the number pieces over and examined the board.
“Good board.” Cole said with a nod.
Jas looked over the numbers with a serious face before handing everyone their pieces.
“Okay! I’m ready.” Jas said as she handed the dice to Marnie. One by one everyone rolled and placed their first pieces to start the game off.
—-
An hour of playing later Jas and Cole were in the lead, both with 8 points.
Throughout the game, it was obvious Cole had been throwing and allowing Jas to take the lead. He’d been generous with his trades and fumbled a few moves that even Shane thought were obvious. Marnie was close in third with Shane falling behind to fourth.
Jas rolled the dice. They landed on an 8, giving her the last resource she needed to build another road.
“That’s game.” Cole smiled at her while handing over the longest road card.
“I won!” She smiled excitedly while looking back and forth at everyone at the table.
“Sure did, kiddo.” Shane smiled at her while getting all the pieces organized.
After putting the game back in the box and stashing it away in the cupboard, Marnie grabbed the cake from the counter and brought it back to the table.
“Are you ready for cake, Jas?”
“Yes please!” She bounced in her seat as Marnie put a candle with the number 8 on the cake and lit it.
“Make a wish!” Marnie said gently. Jas closed her eyes for a moment before blowing the candle out.
“What did you wish for?” Shane asked.
“I can’t tell you! That ruins the magic!”
“Common sense, Shane.” Cole chastised playfully. Shane hid a grin behind his hand and rolled his eyes.
“How big of a slice do you want?” Marnie asked while cutting into the cake.
“A big one!” Jas said while demonstrating the size with her hands. Marnie complied and cut a large slice out before putting it on a paper plate. She placed the plate in front of Jas along with a plastic fork. Jas dug into the cake with a smile on her face as Marnie cut out slices for everyone else.
“Thank you, Marnie.” Cole said gratefully as his slice was placed in front of him. “Been years since I’ve had your cake.”
“Since your 13th birthday.” She confirmed with a kind smile.
“Mr. Cole?” Jas started, “Why did you move away from Pelican Town when you were a kid? And why did you move back?” She asked with curiosity in her eyes.
Everyone at the table tensed, Cole stared at his plate for a moment in thought. After a moment of silence, Marnie broke the quiet.
“Jas, I’m not sure Mr. Cole-”
“No, no, it’s okay.” He smiled, “It was for a lot of reasons, but I lived with my Pappy when I was young. I had to move back with my momma. That’s why I left.” Jas nodded along.
“I moved back because my Pappy left me the deed to his land. Do you know what a deed is?” She shook her head. “A deed is something you give to someone to show they own something. So if your Aunt Marnie moved and wanted to give you this house one day, she would give you a deed to the property. Make sense?”
“Yeah! So your pappy gave you his house?”
“And the farm. So I moved back to Pelican Town so I could be a farmer!”
“Okay!” She smiled, satisfied with his answer.
Shane looked softly at Cole. How could he explain such a terrible thing to a child so simply? Taking the bare bones of his miserable life and putting it in simple, happy, terms for Jas to understand.
It was amazing how good he was with her, all day he’d been nothing but kind and understanding. If Shane wasn’t struggling with his feelings before, he sure as hell was now.
Cole met Shane’s eyes and gave a sad, knowing smile. Shane’s heart dropped into his stomach, a familiar nausea settling in his gut.
“It’s delicious, Marnie.” Cole said cheerfully.
“I’m glad you like it.”
After a moment, Jas pushed her plate forward. “I’m all done! Can we do presents, Aunt Marnie?”
“Of course! Let me grab them.” Marnie stood and walked into the other room, returning shortly after with two wrapped gifts. Cole reached from under the table and put his on the table as well.
Jas squealed excitedly as she tore into one of the boxes.
“That one’s from me.” Marnie said.
Inside the box was a sparkly purple dress similar to the style she often wore. Her eyes lit up as she held the dress up to admire it.
“Wow… It’s so pretty, Aunt Marnie!”
“Now that one is more fancy, so don’t go playing in the dirt in it!”
“I won’t! I’ll only ever wear it inside, promise!” She hugged the dress with her eyes squeezed shut before placing it carefully to the side and grabbing the next box.
Shane recognized it as his and spoke while she opened it. “It’s not much, but I hope you like it.”
“Ooou, dolly furniture!” She beamed as she held the box up.
“It’s got some fake food in there too. I heard you talking about needing some.”
“I did! Thank you, Uncle Shane!” He smiled faintly and reached over to give her a pat on the shoulder.
“Last ones mine.” Cole said as Jas tore into the box. She gasped and looked at Cole with wide eyes when the present was revealed.
“A princess Twyla doll?!”
“She’s your favorite, right?”
“Yeah!!”
Shane looked at Cole who had a contented smile on his face. How did he know that? Did he just listen to Jas that well when she spoke?
“Thank you so much, Mr. Cole! I love her!!” She looked from Cole to Shane. “And I get new furniture to play with too!”
“Sure do, kiddo.”
She bounced up and down excitedly as Marnie got up to grab scissors.
She came back, took the boxes from Jas, and opened them up. Jas smiled happily as she flipped her new doll around to get a better look.
“Aunt Marnie, is it okay if I go play with my new toys?”
“Go ahead, Jas. We’ll start cleaning up while you do.” Jas squealed excitedly and got up from her seat with all her toys in hand.
“Thank you so much for the doll, Mr. Cole! I love her so so much!”
Cole laughed and stood up from his seat. “You’re welcome, Jas.”
She smiled one last time before running off to her room and closing the door behind her.
“‘Educated guess’ my ass.” Shane said, “That’s probably the best gift she’s gotten in a while.”
“I’m good with kids. You just gotta listen to them.” Cole said as he picked up the empty plates and brought them to the trash.
“I can tell.” Shane smiled as he turned around and reached up to tear the streamers down. He tuned out Marnie and Cole’s conversation as he methodically removed the decorations and threw them to the floor.
His feelings for Cole seemed to be getting worse day by day. He thought he could suppress it, just ignore things until they went away or became easier to deal with. After today though, he wasn’t sure he would be able to. Not after Cole had been so damn good to Jas.
He needed to think about this more, how to deal with this, but it was hard to handle a situation you could hardly accept.
“Right, Shane?” Cole asked. Shane’s head shot over, his thoughts suddenly interrupted.
“What?”
Cole started to repeat his sentence, but his face fell after a moment. “You alright partner? You look a little flushed.”
“Fine.” Shane said quickly. Cole gave Shane his ‘we’ll talk about it later’ look before continuing.
“I was telling Marnie about Clint. How he’s always staring at Emily all creepy like at the saloon.”
“Oh, yeah.” Shane nodded at Marnie as he collected all of the torn-down streamers, “You saw him at the flower dance. It’s bad.”
“I did. I felt so bad for him…” Marnie said with a frown.
“I did my best to help him. Some people are hopeless, I guess.” Cole said.
“You got me out of dancing for a year, at least.”
“That I did.”
Shane looked around for any more decorations, but it seemed everything had been put away.
Cole put his hands on his hips and looked towards the back door. “Coop through there?” He asked.
“Yeah, you wanna meet the chickens?”
“That alright with you, Marnie?”
Marnie looked over as she placed the leftover cake in a container to be put in the fridge. “Oh, of course! You’re always welcome around our animals, Cole.”
“Lead the way, then.” Cole smiled at Shane. He did his best to push the swelling in his chest down as he walked to the back door and into the coop.
Shane looked around at the familiar coop, pointing out chickens while Cole moved to stand beside him.
“Those two on the roost are Betty and Judy. Over there is Lauren. Next to her is Steve.”
“Steve?” Cole gave a lopsided smile.
“Jas thought he was a rooster. We corrected her, but she insisted on Steve.”
“Kids.” Cole laughed and glanced down as a chicken waddled up to Shane’s feet.
“And this one is Charlie.” He smiled warmly as he crouched down and picked the white hen up. She closed her eyes and nestled into his arms as he stood back up to show Cole.
“She’s my chicken. I mean, they’re all my chickens, but Charlie is my chicken.” Cole looked between Shane and Charlie with a funny grin.
“What? Is there something on my face?”
“Yeah. A smile.” Cole said, “Not one I’ve ever seen before.”
Shane’s eyes widened as he looked away, turning to the side and looking back at the chickens. “I just love my hens.” He muttered.
“Clearly.” Cole snickered and placed an arm around Shane’s shoulder.
Shane tensed up, startling Charlie who jumped out of his arms.
“Shit– Sorry-” Cole said as he took a step away, grimacing as he glanced at the floor. “I don’t– I don’t know why I did that.”
“...It’s fine.” Shane said, tension in his voice.
“Really, I’m sorry. Won’t happen again.”
“Cole.” Shane said as he finally looked back at him, “You’re good. Promise.”
The tension in Cole’s face dissipated as he said that, his grimace returning to a relaxed smile. “...Thanks.”
They left it at that, sitting in silence for a moment before Cole crouched down near Charlie. “I see why she’s your favorite. Beautiful white hen.”
“Sweet personality, too. She loves people.” Shane sighed as Cole petted Charlie, mumbling soft words to her as he did.
How much longer could he hide this? It seemed everything Cole did made it worse. Everything he said, every time he showed even the smallest bit of affection, every warm smile he gave Shane.
Shane had been trying to push his feelings down, but nothing seemed to be working. It was torture, feeling this way around him and not being able to do anything about it.
Finally, Cole stood up, brushing his jeans off as he looked at Shane. “Glad I got to meet them. They seem like great birds.”
“They are.” Shane agreed, praying his face looked normal.
“Suppose I should head out then. Will I see you tonight?”
“Nah, staying home with Jas and Marnie. Tomorrow, though.”
“Great! I’ll see you then, partner.” Cole gave Shane a clap on the back before walking back into the kitchen. Shane took a deep breath and followed behind.
“I should be going now. Thanks for having me, Marnie.”
“Anytime! You know you’re always welcome here.” She smiled gently, “I’m sure Jas will want to say goodbye. Would you pop in her room and let her know you’re leaving?”
“Yeah! ‘Course.” Cole nodded.
Shane trailed behind him until they reached Jas’s room. He knocked on the door and opened it after Jas gave him permission to. She looked at the door from her dollhouse, her new doll in one hand and an old one in the other.
“Mr. Cole is leaving now. Did you want to say goodbye?”
“Yes please!” She put her toys down and ran to the door, hugging Cole’s leg once she got there.
“Bye, Mr. Cole! Come visit us soon!”
Cole laughed and crouched down, opening his arms to give Jas a proper hug. “I’ll try to come by more often, okay? I’ll see you soon, kiddo.” She gave a wave and a smile before going back to her dollhouse.
Cole grinned as Shane shut the door. “Good-mannered kid. You got an easy one.”
“I know. I’m lucky.” He smiled stiltedly and walked Cole to the front door.
“Alright. I’ll see you around, partner.”
“Cya.”
Cole waved before walking off, Shane shut the door behind him and sighed.
It’d be a long afternoon.
—-
Shane sat at the kitchen table with Marnie, an untouched cup of tea in front of him as he listened to her speak.
“I just don’t understand the budget. He spends so much on these extravagant festivals that he has to tax our struggling businesses even more. I worry about having enough to keep the animals fed and warm during the winter.”
“Hey, that’s months away. If I have to pick up extra shifts at Joja to help, I will.”
She nodded sadly, taking a sip of her tea. “He’s a good man, he is, I just don’t understand his judgment sometimes.”
“Neither do I. But I don’t keep up with that sort of thing.”
Shane turned around as he heard Jas’s door click open, she walked tiredly into the kitchen and took a seat next to Shane.
“Hi…” She said sleepily.
“Hey, kiddo. Have a good birthday?” Shane asked.
“I did!” She smiled and yawned.
Shane thought he knew where this was headed. Jas had a habit of wanting to be tucked into bed, but not wanting to ask.
He sighed and rubbed her head before speaking. “You want me to put you to bed?”
“Yes please…” She stood back up nearly immediately and trotted back to her room.
“Be right back.” He said to Marnie before following Jas to her room.
He stepped inside, the lights already turned off aside from a night light plugged into the wall.
“You all comfy?” Shane asked as Jas climbed into her bed.
“Mhm…” Shane smiled and tucked the blankets under her.
“Goodnight, Jas.”
“Night, Uncle Shane…” She mumbled sleepily. He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before rubbing her hair and leaving the room.
He clicked the door shut behind him and returned to the kitchen with Marnie.
“She loves when you’re home to do that, you know.” She smiled happily.
“I know. I really am trying to be there for her.”
“We can both tell.” She reached across the table and squeezed Shane’s hand, “You’ve been doing better.”
Better? That was laughable. On almost every account Shane was doing significantly worse. The only thing he’d improved on was being around for his family, and that was mostly because Cole influenced him to do so.
“Well, I’m trying.” He replied with a sigh. “...Hey, can I ask you something?” He asked after a brief pause.
“Of course.”
“Cole told me once you and his grandpa had a thing going, is that true?”
Marnie’s eyes widened as she choked on her tea.
“Shit, I’m sorry– you don’t have to talk about it.” Shane quickly backtracked.
Marnie coughed for a moment before regaining her composure. “No, no– it’s okay! I don’t mind.”
She took a breath and bit her lip while searching for the words. “We were together for a while, yes. It didn’t last though. Some things you just can’t look past.”
“What? What does that mean.” Shane furrowed his brow. Marnie paused and looked down for a moment before speaking.
“Cole’s grandfather was… not the man he talks him up to be.” She sighed, “He started out okay. On the surface, he was a kind, upstanding man. But he cared a lot for appearances, enough that it brought harm to his family.”
“Okay.”
“He would hit the kids. Often not hard and never with his hands, but it’s still not acceptable. And there were a lot of things he preferred to sweep under the rug. Bad things that needed to be addressed.”
“Like what?”
Marnie paused and drummed her fingers along the table. “Has Cole told you about his mother?”
Shane nodded slowly, his stomach dropping at the mention of her. He didn’t like where this was headed if it had anything to do with her.
“There’s… a reason she ended up the way she did. I won’t elaborate on it anymore, but someone close to her hurt her in the same way she hurt Cole. Cole’s grandfather swept it under the rug when she was a little girl to save the man’s reputation. I tried my hardest to excuse the hitting, but when I learned what he let happen to his daughter, I–”
Marnie cut herself off and grimaced.
“No matter how much you love a person, there are some things you just can’t live with. I never spoke to him again afterward. I told everyone we had a big fight, but never what about.”
Shane paused, staring vacantly at Marnie. If Cole never mentioned that about his grandfather, what else had he neglected to tell Shane? It made him feel sick.
“You have to understand, he idolized his grandfather because he was the only parental figure in his life who didn’t abuse him. Not badly, anyway.”
“I get that, just– It’s a lot to take in.”
“It was a lot for me, too.” She laughed sadly, “I guess I just have a history of dating bad men...”
“God.” Shane stared at his full cup of tea, then looked back up to Marnie.
She gave him a kind, though strained, smile and picked up their cups to take to the sink. “Thank you for chatting with me, Shane. It’s been a while since we’ve had a proper conversation.”
“Yeah, no problem.” He stood and placed his hands in his pockets, figuring Marnie was trying to finish their talk.
“I know when he first moved back, I thanked him for being friends with you. For your sake.” Marnie started as she rinsed the cups out, “But Cole needs you as much as you needed him. Take care of each other, okay?” She turned around and smiled.
Shane stared dumbly at her for a moment before nodding.
“Good. I need some rest now. I’ll see you tomorrow, Shane.”
“Yeah. Night, Marnie.” She quickly dried her hands before walking to her room. Once Shane heard the door close he sighed and walked to his own.
He flopped down on the bed and groaned as he stared at the ceiling. Everything was getting worse. He needed to decide what to do.
Suicide was the most tempting option, though he’d tried that once and bailed. Chances were he’d bail again if it came down to it, that needed to be saved as a last resort.
He could always tell Cole how he felt and risk ruining their already fragile relationship. Surely the cowboy who was raised by a conservative old man has positive feelings about homosexual attraction. That couldn’t go wrong at all.
He could try confiding in Marnie, though he didn't know how she felt on that issue. He wasn’t sure he wanted her to know about his feelings, anyway. Marnie could be overbearing when it came to those sorts of things.
Really there was nothing to do but grin and bear through it.
Maybe, though, the first step to all this was accepting how he felt. Not pushing anything back anymore, just letting himself feel the way he felt.
Even if it was frustrating and confusing, hiding from it clearly wasn’t doing him any good. He had to admit this to himself, no matter how hard it was.
He liked Cole.
More than that, he liked Cole more than he thought he’d liked anyone in the world before.
He had what he thought were crushes when he was a teenager, but none of them compared to Cole. None of those girls gave him butterflies, he didn’t fall asleep thinking about any of them or count down the minutes until he could see them. He didn’t want to kiss them the way he found himself imagining kissing Cole.
God, it was hard to think these things so freely without pushing them away. It felt wrong and unnatural, but it also felt liberating in a strange way.
He liked Cole, and he could finally acknowledge that no matter how much it sucked or how hard it was.
He jumped as his phone buzzed in his jacket pocket. Quickly, he fished it out and opened the notification without looking. It was Cole, he had sent him a picture of the Tunnelers' score with a confetti emoji underneath.
Shane smiled. A genuine smile, the ones Cole always pointed out excitedly.
For once he let himself feel the warmth in his chest and the butterflies in his stomach. He rubbed the side of his phone for a moment before liking the message and placing his phone on his chest.
Maybe things would become easier to manage from here.