Chapter 1: throw yourself into the unknown (with a pace and fire defiant)
Summary:
Lloyd has looked death in the eye—more times than he can count.
Notes:
i don't think there are any unique tws for this chapter !
title from achilles come down by gang of youths
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lloyd has looked death in the eye—more times than he can count.
He knows of the first time he faced it, even if he was too young to recall it. His dad had told him the story before- finding his mother half a mile into the forest, clutching him in her arms as she bled out. How she begged for Dirk to take him in as he cried and clung to her, covered in blood. How his mother died by the time Dirk had carried her to the cave he'd been living in for the last decade, and he buried her in his yard, her grave carved by hand. How he'd built a real, human house for Lloyd. How Lloyd had become Dirk's little boy.
Lloyd had always been prone to adventure, quick to draw his wooden swords at the first sign of danger or threat to his loved ones. Colette was strong in her own right, but he'd known since he was little that she was important to the world in ways he didn't understand yet, and he needed to protect her. That's what friends did. They kept each other safe.
Lloyd hadn't left Iselia until he was seventeen, following Colette on her journey to save the world. He had nowhere left to go- Iselia had banished him, he'd killed Marble, Genis was alone without him- and so, he followed.
It had been a week since Colette had disappeared in the middle of the night, with Raine and that mercenary, Kratos. The sun burnt and ached, like a hand pressing down on a bruise. Genis was letting him lean against him without complaint for once, hands cold against Lloyd's heavy wool and cotton sleeves. He'd long since ditched his jacket, tying it around his waist, the sun beating down harshly on the back of his neck.
Genis had pulled him into the entrance to Triet late in the evening, pushing him towards the inn when a loud voice startled them away from the door.
"Genis, Lloyd, what are you doing here?"
"Raine? Sis?"
"Lloyd!"
Colette threw her arms around him, pulling him close in a hug. "You found us."
He hugged her back. "I promised I'd come with you. I'm not gonna leave you behind."
He heard Kratos sigh as they broke away from each other, pushing towards the inn for the night.
"Go. Sleep. I need to buy supplies for the week. If you are going to come with us, I won't stop you. Just... don't be a fool."
He saluted him, following Raine's light footsteps as she led them into the inn and towards his inn room.
Without a second thought, he collapsed on the bed and fell asleep.
The sky was still dark when he woke up.
He'd awoken to the sound of his window unlatching, the sound of someone's footsteps dropping softly into his room in the inn. He jolted up, eyes trying to adjust to the murky darkness as he reached for his swords. He blinked, sharp eyes met his, and he felt a knife against his throat.
"The Chosen. Where is she?!"
"Who are you?"
The knife dug further into his knife, a lock of bright blue hair falling into his face.
"I said, where is the Chosen?"
The door unlatched, and before Lloyd could even react, it flung open, and the intruder disappeared into the shadows.
"Lloyd!" Colette called, racing towards him. "Are you okay?"
"Just fine, Colette. Who was that?"
"An assassin, I presume," Kratos murmured, checking the latches on the window.
"Lloyd, are you hurt?"
"Raine, I just said I'm fine."
Kratos shut the window, locking it tight. "We aren't safe here. We ought to get moving."
"But the sun hasn't even risen yet!" Genis yawned, stretching tiredly as Raine glanced around the room.
"It will soon. I doubt any of us will get any more rest after this, though. We should take advantage of it."
Genis sighed again. "I'll make some sandwiches for the road."
"Thank you, Genis."
Leaving Triet wasn't a long or difficult affair, anxious energy drumming through everyone's skin as Raine and Kratos poured over a map to find the ruins.
The sun was beginning to rise when it happened. An arrow flew through the sky, piercing through the map in Kratos' hands. A second man appeared, charging as he reached for Colette's Cruxis Crystal, and Lloyd snapped. They were thrown into battle, and he didn't have much time to think before deflecting blades and dodging fireballs.
Lloyd was seventeen when he died.
A sharp pain shot through his chest, right through his heart. He could only glance at the blade piercing through the top, heavy layer of his jacket. Red spread over red, and he fell.
Lloyd had never feared dying- it felt like an alien idea in his mind, something far off and distant- until it stared him in the eyes.
For once, death was terrifying.
He reopened his eyes to Kratos kneeling before him. A glass bottle was pressed gently to his lips, a cold hand massaging his throat and encouraging him to swallow.
He choked down the sickly sweet liquid, feeling it stitch his chest back together with unnerving speed.
"Slowly, now. That was reckless of you, Lloyd. We all could have died because of your foolishness," Kratos scolded, pulling the empty bottle away. He heard the distant mumblings of Raine's first aid spells as she healed everyone's injuries.
"Well, it all worked out, didn't it?" He forced a smile over his face. Kratos glared at him, unconvinced.
"You died, Lloyd. You're lucky Colette bought life bottles in town."
"Well, I'm not dead anymore. Everything's okay now!"
Kratos sighed, placing a hand over the remnants of his wound, directing his mana into it. Lloyd relaxed "Don't be a reckless idiot. Use common sense."
Lloyd smiled again, brighter, tension bleeding from his shoulders.
"Come. We can't stop and make camp every time we're attacked. Do you want to continue with the journey, Lloyd? This certainly won't be the only time you die."
Lloyd's jaw tightened. "I made a promise to Colette. I'm going to help her regenerate the world!"
Kratos sighed. "If you must. Let's go. We have to make it to the ruins before dark."
Notes:
its late when im posting this ill look at it in the morning i guess
Chapter 2: i am a sinner, you are a saint
Summary:
Colette knew death was coming for her, fast.
Notes:
general tws for death still apply ! also there's religion in this chapter like a Lot and it's pretty heavily inspired by Christianity just so yall know
title from problems by mother mother
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Colette knew death was coming for her, fast.
Her pastor at Martel's temple had explained her fate to her when she was ten. Her grandmother had escorted her to the temple of Martel, holding her hand as she led her up the stairs. She knelt at the altar, praying as her priest approached her.
"Miss Brunel."
"Yes, Father Zachariah?"
"You know of the journey to regenerate the world you must go on, yes?"
"I do, Father. Why do you ask?"
"Have you been told of what the world regeneration entails?"
"No, Father. I have not."
"Come. Walk with me."
She stood from where she knelt, glancing back at her Grandmother as she followed. He led her to the outdoor gardens, gesturing for her to sit on a bench. He sat beside her, the air heavy with tension as he sighed.
"Father, are you alright?"
"Yes, Colette. I'm just... sorry."
"For what? You haven't done anything."
"I'm sorry that you have to go through. And that you have not been told what you must do."
"Father Zachariah, what are you talking about?"
"Colette," He sighed deeply, "in order to regenerate the world, you must die."
Her eyes shot up, staring deeply into her priest's eyes. "What?"
"In order to release the final seal to regenerate the world, you will lose your heart and memories of those you love. It's the final step to becoming an angel." A beat passed. Neither of them dared breathe for a moment before the priest spoke again.
"I'm sorry, Colette."
Her hands tightened around the hem of her dress. Her back tensed, and she sat up straight. "It's okay, Father. I understand what I must do. If I must die for the world, I will."
All the tension left his shoulders as he rubbed her back. "Thank you, Chosen."
The walk back to the village was quiet and tense. Phaidra glanced at her with gentle, kind eyes.
"Are you alright, Colette?"
"Y- yes, Grandmother. I'm okay."
Lloyd was waiting for her inside Iselia's gate as she came back into town. Genis and Raine loitered a little further in, watching them anxiously.
"Colette!"
"Hi, Lloyd." Her voice was weak and low, tiredness seeping into it. She rubbed at her eyes, trying to scrape any trace of the redness away.
His face softened and Genis and Raine approached, eyes worried. "Are you alright?"
"You look as though you've been crying," Raine added, openly scanning her for injuries.
"Yes, Professor. I'm okay. Just tired. I'm gonna go to bed early."
She turned to move past them, but Genis caught her by the wrist.
"Wait!" He pressed a small, tied bag into her hands. "Happy birthday, Colette! I made you some cookies."
"It's my birthday?"
She hadn't even realized it was her birthday; the thought had been lost in the ocean of dread about her death in her mind.
"Yes, Colette. It's your birthday. We can celebrate when you're less exhausted. Get some rest," Raine brushed a hair out of her face and moved to let her further into the town.
"Good night, Colette!"
For the next six years, she could almost try to forget what Father Zachariah said about her fate.
And then, the Oracle came, and her world was turned upside down. Before she could stop and have a moment to breathe or think, she was leaving Iselia for Triet's Temple of Fire. Lloyd and Genis were safe, and then they weren't and she hated how much safer they made her feel.
She'd decided to splurge nearly all their money on healing items; Raine and Kratos could only heal them so much, and that wasn't even considering how quickly they ran out of mana if all they did was heal.
Kratos had scolded her, but she could tell it wasn't genuine.
They hadn't even made it a mile out of Triet when they'd been attacked- when Lloyd had died- and the weight of her journey finally began to set in.
"Lloyd! Are you alright?" A new, sudden anxiety flooded through her as she ran over towards him, dodging around Kratos. Lloyd wasn't supposed to die, nobody was supposed to die except for her, and she wasn't supposed to die for a long while, and-
"Colette!" Lloyd shouted, grabbing her shoulders forcefully, but not violently. Her eyes and cheeks were wet with tears as he tilted her chin up to meet his eyes.
"Colette. I'm okay! I'm alive. Kratos brought me back." He smiled, his eyes crinkling at the edges. "C'mon, let's keep moving. Kratos wants to get to the ruins before dark.
She wanted to protest, seeing the fading shock in Lloyd's eyes, but the rest of their little traveling party was already a few dozen meters away. She glanced back and forth between them- Lloyd and her companions- before Loyd took her hand and pulled her towards them.
"Let's catch up with the others, yeah?"
"O-okay!" she agreed, running to join the rest of her friends.
They arrived outside the Triet ruins as it was nearing midnight. Genis was nodding off against her shoulder as they made everyone sandwiches for dinner, and it wasn't long before they had settled in for the night, Kratos sitting outside her and Raine's tent on watch.
They left early in the morning before the sun had finished rising over the horizon. The summer sun beat down on her skin as they stepped inside. The heat of the lava and flames was oppressively dry as they navigated through the puzzle, Raine and Kratos arguing over the solution as Lloyd struggled to push boxes.
Finally, the last staircase slid into place, and they were transported to the altar. Distantly, she heard Raine's voice echoing excited as she examined the ruins.
Colette climbed the few steps to the altar, and the room fell silent as light began flowing upwards.
"Gah-! What the-" Genis shouted, stepping backwards. She pulled her chakram from her pockets in anticipation, and watched Lloyd and Kratos draw their weapons as well.
Before she could brace herself, three monsters burst from the light.
Colette was sixteen when she died.
The angelic guardians had attacked before she could brace herself against their claws and flames. Kratos screamed at her to fall back, and she fell flat on her back as she tried to scramble away. A chakram slipped from her grip. She crawled backwards, pushing on her elbows and the tallest of the monsters prowled towards her.
"Remiel? Father? Please, help." She whispered, throwing her last chakram at the wolf-like creature. It bounced harmlessly off its skin.
Her back hit the wall, and the monster pounced.
"COLETTE!" She heard Lloyd cry before everything went dark.
Despite the six years Colette had prepared to die, it was still colder and more painful than she could have ever anticipated.
Worst of all, she thinks, is how lonely it was. Despite the knowledge that her friends were around her, each locked in combat, bleeding out was still far more isolating than she was prepared for.
Was this her end?
Had... had Colette failed?
She tried to think about her mother. About her grandmother, and her mother before that. There hadn't been a successful Chosen of Regeneration in centuries, at least a dozen generations of Martel's chosen heroes in her family between her and the last chosen to succeed.
Colette was supposed to break that long, long streak of failures. She was supposed to die, but-
but this was too soon.
As the last dredges of her awareness slipped through her like sand through her fingers, spilling onto the stone tile floor with her warm, red blood, Colette accepted that she'd always be a failure.
When she came to, her throat ached and burned with cold. She heard the distant sound of swords clattering against each other and stone floors, grating despite how underwater they sounded. Her body felt like it had been set ablaze.
A heavy, gloved hand was on her neck heavy and suffocating, and she pulled away, weak.
She should have just let the hand suffocate her, a voice that sounded uncannily like her grandmother or one of Martel's priestesses at the temple echoed in her mind. Once a sacrificial lamb, always a sacrificial lamb. She should accustom herself to being dead while she has the chance.
Colette was drifting back towards unconsciousness- or was it death? When she heard the voice.
"C'mon, Colette, don't do this to us!"
Lloyd.
She opened her eyes. Lloyd's warm, teakwood brown eyes stared back at her, somewhat manic. He pulled her into a hug, ignoring the drying blood down her front and the sounds of combat.
"I'm glad you're back, Colette," he whispered, his voice full of love.
"Thanks, Lloyd," she sighed. Behind him, Kratos had finished slaying the tallest of the monsters, and only one remained. It locked eyes with her, and Lloyd turned to see what she was staring at.
She forced herself up on shaking legs as it prowled closer yet again, hurling one of her chakram at it.
It rang true, and the beast collapsed into light.
A moment of silence passed, heavy breathing filling the air.
Colette's legs shook as she forced herself towards the altar to Martel. She knelt, her hands folding as she murmured her prayers to the goddess.
Oh, goddess above, I beg of you to regenerate the world, and to revitalize the right spirit within me to do your bidding without complaint. Goddess, help me to honor you in all I say, do, and speak.
She moved to stand, but a whisper in the back of her mind begged to be heard. She grasped her hands together, tighter.
Oh, goddess Martel, why? Why must I die for the world? How am I supposed to accept this?
Why me?
Goddess, why me?
I don't want to die, Martel-
She bit down on her tongue, trying to corral her thoughts back to prayer. She blinked tears out of her eyes.
Help me to accept what I must do, and to not fight it when my time of sacrifice comes. Amen.
Colette stood as a bright, near-blinding white light descended. She felt her wounds ease, angelic feathers falling from the heavens as Remiel descended.
The bite in her neck ached as he spoke to her and her party, her head spinning too much to focus on his words. One phrase cut through the static in her mind.
"My beloved daughter Colette, you have done well."
Her hands shook slightly as she covered her new scars from the battle. "Thank you, my- father. Father Remiel."
He continued speaking, but Colette was still reeling from the feeling of dying.
Her attention was brought back Remiel as wings of light sprouted from her back as he left. They shone bright, brightly enough to scare away the darkness of death still in the back of her mind for some time.
Colette savored it while it lasted. It wasn't as though she'd be truly alive much longer.
Notes:
eyyyy guys i posted a chapter before it the 6 month mark 🎉🎉
it's like 1:30 am here and ill look at this in the morning lmao
Chapter 3: still lately i begin to shake (for no reason at all)
Summary:
Genis should have been too young to face death.
Notes:
GENIS MY SKRUNKLY SCRIMBLO GOOFY TRAGIC POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW SILLY GOOSE,,,,,
he's one of my favorite characters and i find him So fascinating this chapter could easily be like,,, 9x longer lmao but i wanted to get this out with minimal yapping lol
most of this was written in 2 days in a car and it Hasn't been proofread so <3 have fun!
trigger warnings:
death, some self-hatred, fantasy racism, violence, you guys should catch the vibe by now but tell me if i'm missing anything u guys think should be listed !
chapter title from i can't handle change by roar
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Genis should have been too young to face death.
He'd grown up in Iselia for as long as he could remember- his first memory was of sitting in their little house and playing with Raine as they made sandwiches for dinner. He laughed with her as she stacked slices of bread higher and higher, until they toppled over, spilling over their little counters.
When he thought of his childhood, it was happy, if a bit lonely.
He knew that half-elves were hated. Raine had explained it to him for years, lecturing him any time he exposed his ears.
"Everybody despises half-elves, " she scolded as she trimmed his hair, letting it fall over his ears as split ends fell to the floor. " If people find out we're half elves, then we'll be banished to the forest. We need this. We're just elves, Genis. Elves ."
He was six when he saw the violence half-elves were responsible for. When he saw what they were responsible for.
He had been playing in the woods outside Iselia when he found the path- trampled down by both heavy bootprints and bare feet. Raine told him he shouldn't, telling him instead to stay near the mouth of the forest, where she could find him easily.
But, Genis was always a curious child.
He darted behind the tall shrubbery until he saw them; the gates that reached above the treetops. His mouth was agape in awe as he approached them, letting his small hands run over every surface. He peeked through a small gap in the fencing, eyes wide. This place was massive, easily the size of his town and a half. A man in armor paced by where he was watching, ears just poking out from around the helmet.
Pointed ears.
A half-elf. Like him .
He was frozen for a second or two, eyes trailing after the half-elf until he reached a wall. A person was facing toward it, shoulders trembling ever-so-little. His eyes widened in wonder.
Then, the half-elf cracked the whip over the person's back. Genis fell back, catching himself on his hands. The sound of the whip got louder and faster until it was joined by the sound of someone crying, sobs like screams ringing in his ears. His hands came up to cover his ears as the sound of sharp, sadistic laughter joined the pained sounds. He scooted backward from his spot on the ground, ice flooding his veins.
His dirtied hands caught on the sharp tips of his ears, and for once, he wanted nothing more than for them to be gone, for him to be human.
Before he could think any longer, Genis scrambled to his feet and ran. Raine was looking for him at the mouth of the woods, hands cupped around her mouth as she called his name, voice shaking ever-so-slightly. He all but tackled her in a hug the moment he saw her.
From that day on, Genis never let another person see his ears.
Six years of childhood passed him by like a warm gust from one of his fireballs. Each year, he heard more of what heinous crimes half-elves had done in other, distant towns, and each year, his resentment grew, towards both humans and half-elves.
Despite his better judgment, Genis found himself returning to the human ranch time and time again. If so many half-elves were going to harm those around them, maybe he could be a speck of light in the darkness—a singular force for good. He found himself drawn to one person in particular: an older woman named Marble, with greying hair and smile lines around her eyes despite everything around her.
He fell into a schedule: school, play with Lloyd and Colette, make dinner for him and Raine, see Marble, do his homework, sleep, repeat.
Every day felt the same until Colette was abruptly sent on the journey to regenerate the world. Until, just as quickly, Marble was dead, he and Lloyd had killed her, his house was wrecked, and he was exiled from the only life he’d ever known in Iselia.
Traveling was... hard, to say the least, for Genis. He wasn't adapted to long days ending well into the morning, to early, rude awakenings, to frequent combat, to watch his friends die in violent, painful ways.
But, he did his best. He learned new spells, he made them food when he could, and he tried not to be a burden.
Genis felt like he was doing remarkably well for his age on the journey: he'd yet to die, or get seriously injured, and Kratos hadn't complained about his presence since he joined them at Triet.
Everything was going well up till they encountered the Palmacosta ranch and were forced to fight Magnius. Chocolat- Marble's granddaughter, someone he'd failed, even if she didn't know it- stood, head down, as she stepped onto the transporter.
Before he could even think or call after her, Magnius attacked, two desians standing armed next to him.
Genis was twelve when he died.
The room was too small for him to be able to get enough distance while casting. Stray whip cracks and crossbow arrows kept flying at him, striking him before he could protect himself or hide. He had finally thought he had an opening to cast- a clear shot with an aqua edge would easily strike Magnius. If only he could just have a moment to focus.
He was nearly done casting when the desian with the whip noticed him spellcasting and heard the incantations he was chanting. The whip flew and wrapped around his wrist. The desian pulled, and he toppled to the ground, kendama skidding across the floor uselessly. A heavy boot planted itself on the back of his neck, and he squirmed underneath it.
The whip cracked again, this time across his back, and he cried out as it burned, even through his clothing. The boot pressed harder, more heavily, into his neck, and suddenly he couldn't breathe. A crossbow bolt thunked into the ground next to his head.
If he tried to focus over the sounds of commotion and fighting, he could faintly hear Raine and Kratos both healing. Distantly, he could hear the fear and desperation in Raine's voice, and the unusual rage in Kratos'. Before either of them could finish, something in his neck crunched , and his vision went fuzzy at the edges. Blinding white splotches clouded his eyesight, and they wouldn't go away even after he shut his eyes, hard.
His head was pounding, like the worst migraine in the world. Just thinking ached like a bruise, but he couldn't stop himself from thinking about Marble.
Did Marble believe in Martel?
If there was a heaven, would she be there? Would he even go there? Someone like him, a half-elf murderer?
Would his mother be there? Were they both watching him, proud?
Or were they staring down in disgust, watching with hope that he would end up somewhere different than them?
All Genis knew was that he hoped that wherever he ended up, he could watch Raine and keep her safe.
Raine.
The thought of his sister brought him back to reality for a minute. The world was almost pure white, with only faint, blurry shapes for contrast.
"Sis..." he forced out weakly.
"GENIS!" She screamed over the combat. He heard her spell land, and felt it distantly, but it was too late.
With a swift, steel-toed kick to his head, everything went blinding white, then pitch black.
The next thing Genis remembered was hearing Raine's voice again, scolding but frantic. Hands were on his neck, but they felt gentle and healing, their cold touch floating above his skin instead of the rough metal and rubber of the desian's boot.
He tried to open his eyes but felt achy. Still, he managed to catch a glimpse of Lloyd cutting down the desian that killed him as Colette fought Magnius.
Oh goddess, he'd died.
He sat up fast, only to be eased back down by Raine as his head spun. It felt swollen and delicate, but it felt better with each passing second. Something cold and bittersweet was sliding down his throat. He coughed weakly. The hands paused briefly.
"Genis? Are you back?"
He nodded weakly, and as he opened his eyes, he could see his sister's face.
Relief was painted over her features, her voice quiet and just a tinge nervous as she scolded him.
"Genis, you have to be more aware of your surroundings. If this keeps happening, I'm walking you back to Iselia myself." Her eyes narrowed, and she tilted her head in expectation.
Genis bowed his head. "'m sorry, Sis. I'll be more careful."
"Thank you, Genis." She squeezed his shoulder firmly. "I'm glad you are safe, Genis. I can't lose you."
She stood, helping him to his feet gingerly. He thought about grabbing her sleeve but decided against it. He didn't want to seem weak or pathetic. Slowly, they rejoined the group. The moment she saw him, Colette wrapped him up in a hug, lifting him off the ground as her wings fluttered behind her. "Genis! You're okay!"
"Good, you're not dead," Kratos said, voice as calm and dull as usual.
"Guess we should buy more life bottles in the next town!" Lloyd's cheerful voice rang as Colette set him down, beaming.
Raine glared at him. "Do you feel alright to walk, Genis?"
He nodded, despite his legs feeling a little shaky.
He made it five steps before his legs tensed up, falling out from under him. He landed on his hands and knees, tense with frustration.
Kratos sighed. "That can happen with resurrections."
Colette gasped in horror. "Is it permanent?"
"What?" Kratos squinted, before pinching his brow, frustration visible. "No, Colette. Genis just needs to rest. But, we don't have time to rest. We're burning daylight. Lloyd, could you carry him?"
Genis slammed his hands into the ground. "I'm not a little kid! I'm fine!"
Raine cut him off. "I've got him. He's my brother."
Despite his indignant complaints, Raine scooped him up, letting him rest on her back. As they started back toward Palmacosta to sleep in the inn, Genis drifted off.
Raine would keep him safe.
rynoa29 on Chapter 1 Thu 26 Sep 2024 01:11PM UTC
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a_noodley_enby on Chapter 1 Sun 13 Oct 2024 05:01AM UTC
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Magicmetslogic on Chapter 1 Sat 21 Jun 2025 02:18PM UTC
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rynoa29 on Chapter 2 Sun 09 Feb 2025 04:49PM UTC
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a_noodley_enby on Chapter 2 Sun 06 Apr 2025 05:27AM UTC
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