Archive of Our Own ^beta

Tommy pulled into the Walmart parking lot and stopped at the front doors to let Evan and Eddie out.

“I texted you both the shopping list. I’m going to pull back to automotive to see about that new tire. You two please start on the shopping.” Tommy told them.

“Aye aye pilot Kinard.” Eddie grinned cheekily and saluted him.

Tommy shook his head fondly, Eddie was doing so much better with enforced therapy sessions and Tommy taking more control of him more often, giving him more frequent little time. He knew the boy was struggling with Christopher back in Texas, but Tommy couldn’t lie and say it didn’t make getting Eddie the help he needed easier.

There was already such improvement in just a little bit more than a month. Eddie smiled now and it actually reached his eyes.

Of course Eddie missed Christopher something awful, they all did, but the boy was more and more willing to FaceTime with his dad the more he heard about him complying in therapy. Bridges were being mended slowly but surely.

“Thank you sweetheart,” he smiled at Eddie before turning to Evan in the back seat. “You, please behave huh?” Evan had had a really rough start to the morning that nearly ended with him over Tommy’s lap which was only narrowly avoided by Eddie distracting him with a hug from behind, hooking his chin over his shoulder to rest there. Evan had perked up at that, but Tommy had never managed to get to the bottom of the little early morning snitt.

Evan had been more moody than usual the last few weeks and it was totally not like him. He was always such a good sweet boy, but lately? A little monster and Tommy hadn’t a clue what was going on with him.

Tommy really wanted to sit down with the younger man to have a chat, but his truck’s back passenger side tire had a bald spot and since it was the one they used most often that just wasn’t safe so they really had to take care of that right away before something bad happened and it had to be put on the back burner for the moment.

Evan slouched down a bit in the back seat barely whispering “I’ll be good.” and Tommy sighed. He hadn’t meant to make the young man feel worse, he just also didn’t want to have to take him into the handicap stall in the Walmart bathroom for swats or back to the car for a spanking.

OoOoOo

Tommy probably should have realized Buck was teetering on headspace Eddie sure did. He didn’t want to say anything about it just yet because he didn’t want Buck to get a spanking in the car for not telling Tommy. Eddie could keep an eye on Buck, he was perfectly capable of taking care of Buck when he was little especially if Eddie wasn’t little himself. Tommy didn’t need to know. Buck didn’t need to get a spanking.

Eddie slid out of the truck and waited for Buck to join him. He let Buck push the shopping cart into the store, he knew Buck liked to be the one to do it.

He looked so glum as he made his way into the store pushing the cart and Eddie was so sad that his Buck was sad.

Eddie put a hand on his shoulder and was shocked when Buck jumped away from him and yelped.

“Hey… hey I didn’t mean to scare you.” Eddie promised.

Tears welled in Buck’s eyes and he sniffled, wiping them away fast.

Eddie put a hand on his shoulder again, moving much slower this time and pulled him away from the cart and into a hug.

“Does daddy not want me no more?” Buck sniffled against Eddie’s shoulder as soon as he was in Eddie’s arms and Eddie found himself raking his fingers through Buck’s curls.

“Oh baby, daddy loves you so much. You need to be honest and tell him you feel sad you aren’t getting any time. I’m not gonna be mad or hurt or slip with therapy because I need to share him.” Eddie told him softly.

“Tell daddy?” Buck hiccuped.

“Yeah chaquito. Talk to daddy. Please.” Eddie cuddled him close. Thinking about it now Eddie couldn’t actually remember that last time Buck had gone small. Tommy had been putting Eddie down a lot, but he couldn’t remember when Buck had gone down with him last.

God, he must be feeling awful, neglected and unwanted right now. Possibly barely fending off drop sickness and Eddie would not be even a tiny bit shocked if Buck didn’t come down with something grody and unpleasant soon despite having dropped on his own now.

Eddie felt so guilty despite knowing dropping Buck wasn’t his responsibility to manage. It still felt like it was his fault. Guilt bubbled up in his chest and he tried to push it down, but it was so hard to deal with. Everything made him so mad lately.

He was mad at himself for letting Tommy let him monopolize Tommy’s time, but he was super big mad at Tommy not taking care of his Buck correctly. There was no okay excuse for it. Yeah Eddie had been in crisis but Buck didn’t deserve to be put on the back burner for it.

If Tommy couldn’t reasonably take care of two littles he never should have taken two on.

Eddie rubbed Buck’s back till he was reasonably sure he was calm and ready to go on. He hoped the short cuddle session in the middle of Walmart was enough affection to tide Buck over for the moment. Little Buck was an absolute affection sponge and so touch starved. He never got enough. Too many years of deficit to make up for.

His poor Buck. Eddie couldn’t remember the last time Buck had gotten any real cuddle time either.

Eddie swallowed a sigh. Buck would just think it was his fault Eddie was upset and that was the very last thing Eddie wanted.

“Let's go do some shopping.” Eddie told him letting him go back to the cart.

Buck rubbed his face before grabbing back on to the cart and pushing it into Walmart.

Eddie followed, a tenuous grip on his own headspace. Tommy had been dropping him so much to deal with his anger that it was almost Pavlovian at this point. He could feel himself slip down, past twelve, past, nine and right to seven, the bottom of his age range. It was okay though. He could still take care of his Buck. Buck was only five. Eddie was much bigger.

OoOoOo

Buck pushed the cart into the store and the first thing they passed was the hot food warmer with the rotisserie chickens. Buck’s tummy rumbled and he bit his bottom lip. He hadn’t gotten breakfast. Daddy and him had had a fight and in the rush to get out of the house and the commotions of the fight daddy hadn’t made sure he got some. That was okay though, he was only Buck.

Some small part of Buck thought maybe it was on purpose. Fighting with daddy was naughty. He didn't deserve breakfast, but he was so hungry.

He stared wistfully at the chickens. His tummy hurt with hunger.

Eddie must not have realized he stopped and ran into his back nearly bowling them both over.

“Sorry Buck!” Eddie said a little frantically. “Didn’t mean ta!”

“S’ok!” Buck assured. It didn’t matter that Eddie ran into him, it was okay. He was only Buck.

“Was wrong?” Eddie asked, eyes narrowed in a determined way that told Buck a ‘nothing’ for an answer would not fly.

“Hungry…” Buck whispered, his head hung.

“Did you not get ‘nuff brefast?” Eddie questioned gently.

“Not get any brefast, Eddie.” Buck whimpered.

“Not any?” Eddie questioned incredulously. There was anger in his eyes that made Buck cower a bit. He didn’t mean to make Eddie mad.

His Eddie shook his head. “My Buck needs brefast!” He announced, following Buck’s gaze to the chickens and pulling one out. He handed it over. “Eats this.”

Buck blinked looking down at the chicken that had been thrust in his hands. It was warm and it smelled so good, but he was unsure.

“Is okay. Really.” Eddie promised him with a smile.

“What if I’m not posta, Eddie. What if daddy’s mad?” Buck asked a little frantically.

“Daddy won’t be mad my Buck.” Eddie promised. “I tell him. Daddy always says need brefast.”

Buck made a small face at that cuz he still wasn’t too sure, but he knew his Eddie wouldn’t lie to him and he was too hungry to want to listen to that mean part of his brain that told him he was such a bad boy daddy hated him and he’d be super mad he ate when daddy didn’t want him to. He was choosing to believe Eddie with the full knowledge he might pay for it later with a whooping that might make the chicken not seem worth it, but at the moment the chicken did seem worth it. He just hoped future Buck wouldn’t disagree.

He placed the chicken in the top part of the basket and opened the bag, tearing a piece off and stuffing it in his mouth. It was okay daddy would pay for it later. It was already priced so it wasn’t like it needed to be weighed or anything.

Eddie watched him a moment and nodded in approval, leading the way down the aisle to get the first item on the list.

Buck tore the chicken apart with one hand and ate, the other hand steering their cart. For the most part he was happy to let Eddie get what they needed, but now and then something bright and colorful caught his eye and that was how they ended up with a container of slime, a rainbow Koosh ball, kinetic sand, magnetic thinking putty and probably more candy than was reasonable to consume in an entire month in their basket. Buck wasn’t dumb enough to think he’d get any of it, but they were all so fun to look at and he wanted to look at them as long as he could before daddy yelled at him and made him put them back.

Buck watched as Eddie collected the things they needed, letting Back pick up random things that made him happy. Buck appreciated it. That Eddie wanted him to at least get to pretend to be happy.

It also seemed to Buck that Eddie kept an eye out for daddy ready to defend Buck if their daddy got cross. Eddie always made sure Buck was taken care of… usually. It had been a bad month or so and Eddie missed Christopher and he was only Buck so it was okay.

Buck made fast work of the chicken and soon it was just bones in the bag, he was feeling much better with a full tummy. A large baby blue dinosaur caught his eye and he reached out to touch it making sure to only use his non chickeny hand. It was so soft and Buck pulled it down to hug. It was very huggable. He smiled and stuck it next to the chicken carcass but made sure it didn’t touch. He really loved the dinosaur and wanted to pretend just for a little that he could be his special friend before he had to be put back for a little boy who was actually good and deserved him.

He felt tears prick his eyes. Buck wasn’t going to cry! He was just going to enjoy his little friend while he could. He wanted to yell that it wasn't fair, because he wanted to keep his new friend forever, but Buck had learned a long time ago that he didn’t deserve fair. He never had.

It sucked, it made Buck’s heart hurt so bad because why couldn’t he just be good like other little boys? But that didn’t matter. He was only Buck.

Just about then daddy headed their way looking tired and fed up. Buck wished he knew why daddy was in a bad mood and he hoped it wasn’t his fault… again.

OoOoOo

Tommy spotted them and strolled over. He took in the sight of the stuffy and toys and candy in the cart, and his frustration reached impossibly new heights. Seeing all the evidence, it was clear Evan had gone little, and that frustrated him immensely. The boys knew the rule about telling him if they needed to drop or were dropping without him.

He took in the entirety of the cart and Evan wasn’t even trying right now. He knew he was likely more angry over the fact that he had needed three new tires instead of one and he just hadn’t really budgeted for that so he had to pull money from his savings back into his checking and goddamn it truck tires, even Walmart truck tires were pricey as fuck and they’d made him wait around as they changed them because it would only be a few minutes… a few minutes his ass.

The way Eddie was looking anxiously between Tommy and Evan looking ready to jump between them at any moment told Tommy that Eddie too had slipped head-spaces, but honestly with him going down so much recently to help with therapy it wasn’t shocking and almost expected and totally not his fault… Evan on the other hand…

Tommy covered his face with a hand and then removed Evan’s hands from the push bar of the cart ignoring the sad look it brought. Trusting his two to follow he pushed the cart to the front and parked it beside a greeter next to a wall.

“Hey, I need to take these two out to the car for a few moments, we plan to come back and finish shopping. Would you mind watching our cart for a little?” Tommy asked.

The greeter nodded and Tommy grabbed Evan by the arm and marched him out of the store towards the car, Eddie hot on his heels.

“Daddy?” Evan whimpered as Tommy pulled him along. “What… what we doing?”

“We need to have a chat in the car.” Tommy told him firmly.

Evan blinked at him looking confused and upset. “Why for daddy?”

“Did you hide feeling small from me?” Tommy demanded.

“You were busy…” Evan flinched.

“That doesn’t mean the rules don’t apply.” Tommy scolded as they approached the car.

As they got closer to the truck Evan started dragging his feet.

“No!” Buck screeched as Tommy reached to open the back door to the truck. Stomping his feet for good measure.

“And that’s a second spanking when we get home, Mr. Sassy pants.” Tommy told him.

Honestly, Tommy wasn’t really sure what happened, one minute he was pulling the car door handle and the next the entire world did a flippy little spin and the next thing he knew he landed on the ground on his ass, hard, Eddie standing over him looking angrier than he’d ever seen him before.

It took a moment for Tommy to get his bearings. He was extremely confused. Yes, Eddie was fiercely protective of Evan, but he’d never violently stopped Tommy from spanking him before, let alone with a move Tommy himself had taught him.

“Edmundo…” Tommy frowned, but he was interrupted before he could say more.

“No!” Eddie yelled down at him. “You aren’t spanking my Buck!”

Tommy pushed himself back on to his feet and dusted himself off, grimacing as he touched his backside; that would definitely bruise.

“Edmundo, that was uncalled for.” Tommy scolded.

“You weren’t listening to Buck!” Eddie defended.

“Does Buck get a say in his spankings?” Tommy asked.

“He does when it’s your fault!” Eddie yelled at him and Tommy had very little idea what was even happening right now. Was there a full moon he wasn’t aware of?

At Tommy’s perplexed expression, Eddie continued. “When was the last time you let Buck be small? Huh, daddy?”

Tommy was taken aback by the vitriol in the little boy’s words, but he stopped to think about it, really think about it and to his horror he could not actually remember the exact time he last dropped Evan. The color drained from his face and he had to lean back against the car to prevent landing on his bruised ass again.

A whole lot of Evan’s moodiness and upset and the morning tiff were making a whole lot more sense to Tommy at the moment and he felt awful.

A little that didn’t go down on the right schedule was quite prone to moodiness and more than that could become very sick. The fact that Evan had only dropped himself into headspace and not ended up in the hospital spiraling physically was a small miracle and they might not even actually be out of the woods for Buck becoming ill. Tommy was thankful they could hopefully head the worst of it off, but he felt super shitty and he knew he deserved to.

Evan’s health was in his hands and he’d been careless with it. The worst was Evan hadn’t even felt he could tell Tommy he was suffering and needed to go down. What kind of awful daddy was he, that his little was too scared to express his needs to him?

“Daddy! You didn’t even feed him brefast!” Eddie scolded.

“I… what? Of course I did.” Now that Tommy was sure he had done. He may have royalty fucked up with Evan, but he always made sure he was fed. He’d never let the boys leave the house without eating. It was a big rule for them.

“No daddy! You didn’t and you’re not listening! You didn’t make sure he got brefast at all. You got mad and had a fight and dragged us out without making sure he got none!” Eddie lectured.

Tommy replayed the morning in his head and mentally swore to himself. Looking back on it, yeah, Evan and him had butted heads and Tommy had gotten super frustrated and they had an appointment for the tire and he’d herded Evan and Eddie out of the house in a rush. He hadn’t made sure Evan had gotten to eat after all.

That explained the chicken carcass in the shopping cart. Well at least Eddie had made sure Evan had eaten. He hated that the other little had to clean up his messes though.

Tommy held his hands up, fingers spread out. “You’re right. You’re right. I’m sorry.” He sighed.

“Not need ta tell me daddy.” Eddie said, gesturing his head at Evan who was trying to melt into the side of the truck and disappear. Goddamn it, he knew Evan was sensitive and he’d broken him.

Tommy ran a hand down his face.

“Evan, sweet pea, can Daddy hug you? He’s very sorry.” Tommy asked.

OoOoOo

Buck cowered into the side of the truck. He really wanted a hug, but he was also really scared at the moment. So he didn’t really know what to do, though he supposed he was glad daddy was asking and not just doing cuz that would be even more super scary.

“You don’t have to, honey, but you look like maybe you need one.” Daddy said softly. And he did. He really did need one, but daddy was too confusing. First he was so, so angry-mean and now he was being nice and soft and Buck didn’t know. He just didn’t know!!

“Yeah cuz you made him need one and now he’s too scared!” Eddie growled and Buck couldn't help flinching. Eddie was being what daddy would call sassy and Buck really didn’t want daddy even more mad.

“Not, helping Edmundo.” Daddy scolded though it was mild and didn’t hold all the anger that daddy’s voice had earlier. Probably because it was Eddie and not Buck. Eddie was way easier to love and be nice to than Buck was. Buck tried not to be jealous.

“I’m not sorry,” Eddie insisted. “Cuz you did.”

Daddy sighed and it sounded a little sad.

“Gonna spank?” Buck asked just barely audibly trying to distract them so they wouldn’t fight.

“Oh, no baby, I’m the only one who’s got a sore bottom today.” Daddy told him as he reached back to rub his backside. He had hit the asphalt hard and Buck probably would have thought it was funny if it wasn’t so scary.

“Okay, hug.” Buck nodded but made no move to go to daddy. Daddy could come to him if he wanted a hug. Buck needed the truck to help hold him up. He felt real shaky.

Daddy gave a gentle smile and made his way over to where Buck was leaning on the truck and was soon gathering him in his arms.

He pulled Buck in tight and kissed his head, cuddling him close.

“Daddy is so sorry, baby.” Daddy said against Buck’s curls.

“S’ok daddy. I’m only Buck.” Buck shrugged as he cuddled in against Daddy’s chest. He didn’t like any of this, but he didn’t have to, right? He was just Buck, so it all didn’t really matter anyway. It was fine.

Suddenly daddy was pushing Buck back and making him look him in the eye with a hand on Buck’s chin.

“What?” Daddy asked with wide disapproving eyes.

Buck tried to shrink back, but daddy had a hold on him.

“I just… I just… is just me… so is not a big deal, daddy. Is okay.” Buck assured cuz he was just Buck so what did it really matter anyway? He’d get over it and as long as Daddy and Eddie would still have him he would happily stay. It hadn’t been so good lately, but even this really bad month or so had been way better than anything he had had before, sure he had the 118 that loved him like family, but it wasn’t the same. He needed more. He always needed more. He was broken, so even if it didn’t get back to being really good again, like it had been before, it was still okay and way better than being alone or a burden on the 118.

“No Evan, you’re not just anything. You are a very special boy and no one ever should have made you feel like treating you badly was okay least of all me and I’m so so sorry I did that. I want you to feel safe and loved with me and I know I messed that up. I hope you’ll be able to forgive me for it, but it’s okay if you can’t. It was a really bad and dangerous mistake I made.” Daddy told him vehemently.

And of everything that happened that morning this is what made Buck cry. Big fat tears rolled down his flushed cheeks.

Daddy swiped a tear away with his thumb and offered a sad smile before pulling Buck back against his chest.

“I just didn’t think daddy want me no more.” Buck wailed and he couldn’t help it. He knew he should just be grateful he was allowed to stick around even if he wasn’t really, truly wanted, but it hurt. It hurt! And he felt so bad and sad that he couldn’t keep that hurt in anymore and it just poured out of him.

“Evan, what?” Daddy squeezed him tight and kissed his head.

“Daddy not want me no more only want Eddie.” Buck whimpered trying to rein in the bad loud noises coming out his mouth from deep in his chest and not really succeeding.

“Baby no, I will always want you.” Daddy promised.

“No! Don’t.” Buck sobbed his eyes out against Daddy’s chest. How could daddy say he wanted him when he never did! He clearly only really wanted Eddie. Maybe he had wanted Buck at one point at the beginning, but now? He only really took care of and loved on Eddie anymore.

Buck wanted to be grateful for what he did have. It was so much more than he had ever had before, but it wasn’t enough! Buck wanted more! He wanted what Eddie had and he knew that was bad. He was a bad, selfish, greedy boy!

Buck sobbed harder. It was just all so bad and Buck knew he didn’t deserve more than bad, he was only Buck, but he wanted… he needed not to want. Wanting got him in trouble every time… his body heaved and it felt hard to breathe.

Daddy was holding him close and swaying from side to side. He was saying something, but Buck couldn’t hear it past the rushing sounds in his ears and his own sobs.

“I sorry!” Buck got out frantically because surely whatever daddy had said could only have been about how bad a boy Buck was. He couldn’t even not make a huge scene! Or be quiet! He was making so much noise! “Sorry daddy! Please don’t make me go! Is okay you only want Eddie please can I stay?” He just wanted to stay!

Daddy was pulling away though. Buck slumped back against the car and then slid down till he was sitting on the blacktop, his knees pulled to his chest. It was too late. He was too bad. He had failed again.

“You can spank me.” Buck offered in a desperate whimpered whisper. It was probably not enough at this point, but it was all Buck had.

OoOoOo

Tommy quickly sank down to his knees in front of Evan. What had he done?

He had only let go of Evan so that he could get his attention and look him in the face to talk, but had once more made the wrong call.

The little one was so shattered and he didn’t know how to put him back together and now he was offering to be spanked, for what? He hadn’t done anything, this was all Tommy’s fault, but Evan would take a spanking just to not be abandoned again.

Evan, who would do nearly anything to avoid going over Tommy’s knees, was offering to take one so he didn’t have to be alone, despite the fact that Tommy had been objectively the worst daddy ever to him for over a month.

He had known his littler one was traumatized but he had no idea how bad or how deep.

Tommy wasn’t sure what to do, but nothing he was doing was working and he needed to calm Evan down.

He turned to Eddie. “Sweetheart, can you cuddle Evan for a moment. I’m gonna call uncle Bobby because I think he can help calm him down best.”

Bobby had been Evan’s pop long before Tommy had ever been his daddy. If anyone could calm Evan down to listen it was him.

Eddie, who had been standing off to the side shuffling from foot to foot anxiously, nodded and rushed over quickly, getting down next to Evan and putting an arm around him. He was whispering something in his ear that Tommy couldn’t hear, but he didn’t need to. That was between Eddie and his Buck. He trusted Eddie to take care of Evan.

Tommy pulled up Bobby’s contact and quickly tapped his screen to call.

Holding the phone to his ear he prayed Bobby wasn’t too busy to answer quickly.

Bobby answered on the second ring and Tommy let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Hello?” Bobby answered.

“Hi, Bobby sorry to bother, but… look I’m having an issue with Evan.” Tommy admitted. He didn’t want to beat around the bush. He wanted help.

“What happened and how can I help?” Bobby asked.

Tommy didn’t relish telling the older man how he so royalty fucked up, but he did fuck up and Evan deserved help no matter how bad it made Tommy look.

“I fucked up so badly, sir…” Tommy closed his eyes and rattled off the entire story.

He heard Bobby sigh and prepared himself to be torn apart.

“You and I will be talking about this later, but for now, give him the phone and let me talk to him.”

Tommy flinched. Eddie had already put him on his ass, but Tommy supposed he deserved it again.

“Yes sir…” Tommy agreed, turning to kneel down next to Evan who was crying against Eddie. “Hey baby, uncle Bobby wants to talk to you.” He told him handing over the phone.

OoOoOo

“U-Unca Bobby?” Buck hiccuped into the phone.

“Yeah baby, it’s me. I hear daddy made a real big mess of things.” Bobby said.

“Doesn’t want me,” Buck whimpered, then had a desperate thought. “I come live with you and aunt ‘Thena?” He begged.

“Baby, while Athena and I would love to have you come back to live with us again, your daddy would be so very sad not to try and get to fix things with you.” Bobby explained gently, and Buck was so confused.

“Not want me.” He repeated.

“Sweet boy, he does want you he just made a mistake. A very big mistake, but him making a mistake isn’t your fault and doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be your daddy very much,” Bobby told him. “You don’t have to forgive him right away, or even at all if you don’t want to. If this was too big a mistake you are welcome back, our home will always be your home. This choice is yours to make and no one else’s.”

“My heart hurts, unca Bobby.” Buck articulated the problem the best he could with his little boy words.

“Oh sweet boy I’m sure it does. What you’re daddy did was really really hurtful and it’s okay to be sad and mad about it. If you need to come stay with me and aunt Athena for a few days or forever our door is always open and it is your choice.” Bobby told him.

“I don’t knowwwwwwww.” Buck whined in frustration as sometimes happened when he was overwhelmed and didn’t know what he needed to make it better. It got him in trouble sometimes, but not ever with uncle Bobby who always helped him figure it out instead. He missed uncle Bobby! More tears rolled down his cheeks.

Uncle Bobby had been the only one in his life to really prove he’d be there after any fall, but it wasn’t the same as finding a forever partner that wanted to be with him every way he needed. It was never going to be that, but uncle Bobby would always love him and that was something Buck almost always believed now. Almost always, but not always always. They were working on it.

“I have an idea,” uncle Bobby said. “Want to hear?”

Buck nodded, then remembered Uncle Bobby couldn’t see him. “Yes pease fank you.”

“How about you finish your shopping and I’ll meet you at the house and cook lunch for the four of us and we can cuddle and talk and figure things out all together?”

“Unca Bobby come make lunch and cuddles and talk?” Buck asked. He often repeated back what he got from whatever was said to him when he really wanted to make sure he understood.

“Yes sweet pea.” Uncle Bobby agreed.

“Yes pease fank you.” Buck nodded.

“Okay baby, are you okay enough so I can speak to daddy for a moment? We can talk more first if you need.” Bobby said.

“No unca Bobby, talk to daddy.” Buck said, shoving the phone at daddy and letting Eddie help him off the ground.

Daddy grabbed the phone and finished up before putting it back in his pocket.

“You ready to finish shopping?” Daddy asked.

Both boys nodded and followed daddy back into Walmart.

Buck felt extra weary when they approached their cart again which still sat by the far wall behind the greeter.

Daddy grabbed the cart and pulled it from the wall before letting Buck push it.

Buck looked at him anxiously, but daddy just nodded his head so Buck pushed the cart through the store while Daddy put the rest of the stuff they needed into the basket.

Buck, who had wanted to push the cart, had been upset when daddy had taken the cart away earlier, now wasn’t even sure he deserved to. He was so worried. He knew Uncle Bobby had told him daddy had made a mistake and not Buck and it wasn’t Buck’s fault, but Buck felt bad!

Daddy told him to push the cart though and he wanted to push the cart so maybe it was all okay.

Seeing that daddy was heading to the checkout, Buck started plucking all his treasures from the cart and loading up his arms so he could put it all back while daddy paid for the groceries.

Tommy watched him load his arms for a moment, he was saving the dinosaur for last, he just wanted to be friends a little longer, with his eyebrow raised and so Buck started going faster thinking daddy thought he was stalling putting the stuff back.

Balancing all the toys and candy on his arms he managed to reach out for the dinosaur sadly, without dropping anything. It was nice having him as a friend for a little, when a hand reached out to stop him.

He peered up at daddy, confused.

“What are you doing, sweetie?” Daddy asked when their eyes locked.

“Put back.” Buck answered softly. He had hoped that was obvious because he didn’t want daddy mad. He knew he didn’t deserve any of this stuff and he wanted daddy to know he knew that. He had just wanted to look at it in the cart. It was okay to put back now he wasn’t gonna tantrum.

“Can you look at me baby?” Daddy asked and Buck struggled, but managed to drag his eyes up to daddy’s.

“I think it’s okay to get some candy and toys today, especially a new friend.” Daddy told him.

Buck nibbled his bottom lip and studied daddy’s face for a few moments unsure and trying to read any trickery on daddy’s face. He looked him over for a good long minute before believing what he was hearing and daddy stayed still letting him find what he needed to.

“Eddie too?” Buck asked shyly.

Daddy smiled widely at him so that must have been the right thing to say.

“Why don’t you take Eddie to pick out a couple things while I get our stuff on the belt here?” Daddy asked.

That got a tentative shy smile from Buck who nodded. He put his treasures back in the cart for daddy to buy, patting the dinosaur's head as he passed and grabbed Eddie’s hand and pulled him over to the toys. He’d share his candy with Eddie and Eddie could pick out toys for himself.

He helped Eddie pick out a slime kit, because Eddie loved those! And a hand sized stuffed Dalmatian on a keychain with big big eyes. Eddie said he would be a good pocket friend and Buck thought that was a really good idea. Sometimes Eddie got real sad or mad and sometimes when Buck wasn’t there to help, having a pocket friend could help a lot instead!

Choices made, they scurried back to check out where daddy was finishing unloading their groceries.

Daddy looked up at them with a smile as they put down Eddie’s toys on the belt.

“Oh you two made good choices, huh?” Daddy said.

Buck couldn’t help but beam a little at the praise.

“My Buck help me choose.” Eddie told him proudly.

“Our Evan is pretty special.” Daddy nodded in agreement.

“No, not your Buck only my Buck till he say so.” Eddie told daddy firmly.

Daddy nodded seriously. “Hopefully he says so soon. I miss having my Evan already.”

Buck looked wide eyed at daddy not sure he could believe that but something in his heart felt good and warm hearing it.

He didn’t really have a whole lot of time to process it all before Daddy was bagging the last of their things and paying the cashier.

Buck shuffled out behind daddy holding Eddie’s hand. He let daddy push the cart for now cuz he had to hold Eddie’s hand. It was important.

Daddy helped them both in the back seat and buckled them in before putting the groceries in the trunk and before Buck could even think to protest his new friend being in the hatch daddy came back around to him holding the dinosaur, handing him to Buck who snuggled him to his chest.

Daddy gave him a soft look as Buck cuddled his new friend.

“You need to give him a name,” daddy told him with a smile. “You think about it and we will go meet Uncle Bobby at home.

Buck leaned back in his seat and played with the dinosaur's soft little paw, rubbing it between fingers as he thought.

He really needed uncle Bobby. Uncle Bobby would help him figure out all his confusing feelings. He always did.

They pulled up into their driveway where uncle Bobby was waiting by his truck.

Buck barely waited for the vehicle to stop before tossing off his seatbelt and opening his door, feet on the pavement he went running to uncle Bobby who was leaning against the back passenger door of his truck.

Uncle Bobby caught the little boy, chuckling as he let him cuddle into his chest.

“Unca Bobby!” Buck squealed in both relief and excitement.

“Hi baby.” Uncle Bobby said, rubbing his back and holding him close and Buck could feel the tension leave his body as he melted against the man.

“Hi.” Buck breathed a sigh.

Uncle Bobby squeezed him and kissed his head. “We’re gonna fix this.” And you know what? When uncle Bobby said it, Buck believed it.

Daddy jogged over with Eddie on his heels. “Sorry about that,” he told Uncle Bobby. “Evan I wasn’t even parked yet.” Daddy scolded mildly.

Buck hid his face in uncle Bobby’s chest and whimpered. Uncle Bobby’s hand came up to run through his curls and scratch his scalp.

“He’s had a rough morning, Tommy. I think he just needed an Uncle Bobby hug to feel better and got excited.” Uncle Bobby said knowingly, defending him. Uncle Bobby was the last person to let Buck get away with shenanigans, but he always looked at all the facts about why Buck did what he did and tried to understand before scolding or smacking.

Buck heard daddy sigh and peeked out from where he was hiding against uncle Bobby.

“I know,” daddy agreed. “Yeah, he just scared me. I don’t want him to get hurt.”

“I watched him, he didn’t jump out till the truck had actually stopped or you know he’d have heard from me.” Uncle Bobby said.

Daddy nodded and rubbed his face. “Why don’t you take him inside while Eddie and I get the groceries.”

“I help.” Buck piped up softly.

“I think you need to go get uncle Bobby cuddled, baby. We always want your help, but right now I think that’s more important.” Daddy told him gently.

That did seem like a really good deal so after considering it a moment, Buck nodded.

“That’s my good boy, you have your key? Daddy asked.

“In my pocket, daddy.” Bucky told him proudly, pulling it out to show him.

Daddy smiled. “Perfect. Go let you and uncle Bobby in for cuddles.”

Buck took uncle Bobby’s hand and pulled him to the house and let them in because he was a big boy.

Uncle Bobby scooped him up in a fireman’s hold and carried him to the couch making him burst into a fit of giggles.

Uncle Bobby sat down and flipped Buck so he was in his lap. Buck squealed in delight and snuggled up against uncle Bobby’s chest with a contented sigh. Uncle Bobby was safe and he promised to make everything better.

Uncle Bobby kissed his head and stroked his blond curls out of his face. “You know, daddy did make a big mistake and sometimes big mistakes hurt our hearts too much and we can’t forgive them and stay with the person that hurt us,” uncle Bobby started to explain. “Did daddy’s mistake hurt your heart too much to forgive?” He asked.

Uncle Bobby didn’t sound condemning or accusatory. He sounded like he just really wanted to know if Buck needed to move on from his daddy or if Buck felt like he wanted to fix things and having that sort of support in making his own choices was a powerful feeling. He didn’t feel trapped, but like it was okay to choose what was best for Buck for a change.

Uncle Bobby really made Buck feel like no one would be mad no matter what choice he made for his own well-being.

With no pressure on his choice from any direction, Buck was actually able to think about and consider what he wanted and needed.

Buck reached to play with the buttons by the collar of uncle Bobby’s polo shirt. “I… I want daddy.” He said softly.

Uncle Bobby smiled down at him. “Yeah? I’m sure he’ll be so happy about that. Is Buck happy about that?”

Buck thought about that for a few moments and then nodded. “But I come and stay with unca Bobby and aunt ‘Thena for the weekend and come back to daddy Monday?” He wanted daddy but needed space and some time, just a little. And maybe aunt ‘Thena fussing over him a little sounded good too.

“That’s really good, telling me what you need, sweet boy and we can do that. I think that’s such a good idea.” Uncle Bobby praised and Buck beamed a bit smiling up at the man who leaned down and kissed his nose.

Daddy and Eddie came in with their bags and Eddie brought him over his dinosaur friend he’d left in the car by accident with his excitement to get to uncle Bobby.

“Fank you.” Buck smiled at him cuddling his new friend to his chest as he also cuddled into uncle Bobby.

“Welcome. Imma help daddy put our stuff away.” Eddie told him and headed to the kitchen. Eddie seemed sad and it made Buck feel bad. He folded down into himself, his good feelings gone again.

OoOoOo

Eddie’s bottom lip trembled as he retreated to the kitchen. He was trying to be a big boy and strong. It was his job to take care of his Buck, but he couldn’t help how sad he felt because he just knew his Buck was gonna go with uncle Bobby and leave him. Then he would have to choose between his Buck and daddy and he’d choose his Buck every time, but it still made him sad.

He loved his Buck and daddy had not treated him like he deserved the last month or so and Eddie would have his Buck’s back, but that didn’t make it easy.

Sniffling, he rubbed his wet eyes. He was not crying. He wasn’t!

Suddenly daddy was pulling him into a hug and Eddie was sobbing against his chest.

“Big feelings huh?” Daddy asked as he rubbed Eddie’s back.

Eddie nodded and clung to him.

“I don’t want Buck to go.” Eddie cried.

“Me either baby, me either.” Daddy told him. “Make him stay.” Eddie sniffled.

“No honey, I can’t and won’t do that. Evan needs to do what is best for him for once and not what’s best for anyone else.” Daddy told him firmly and Eddie did know that. It was just so hard.

“I don’t like this.” Eddie whimpered.

“I know, why don’t you let me put this stuff away and you go cuddle uncle Bobby and Evan and talk to them. You won’t feel better if you keep all the feelings inside, remember?” Daddy asked.

Eddie whined, but quickly did as told when daddy’s hand meaningfully patted his bottom. He didn’t want a spanking today. No thank you daddy!

Scurrying out of the kitchen and into the living room, Eddie quickly climbed onto the couch and insinuated himself under uncle Bobby’s free arm.

“Hi.” Uncle Bobby said in amusement.

“Uncle Bobby,” Eddie whined and only got a raised eyebrow in response. Eddie knew uncle Bobby didn’t tolerate whining, he always wanted to get to the bottom of why they were wining and Eddie didn’t wanna. He couldn’t help it though. There were too many big feelings. “I’m sad.” Eddie added without the whine this time.

“Want to tell me what’s making you sad?” Uncle Bobby asked gently and Eddie nodded.

“Is why I’m here.” Eddie pointed out.

Uncle Bobby chuckled softly. “Alright then.”

“I don’t want you to take my Buck away.” Eddie told him seriously.

“Oh buddy, I’m not taking your Buck away. I promise, but he does want to come for the weekend and he is going to. But he will come back to you and daddy on Monday when he’s had some time. Can you give him some time?” Uncle Bobby asked.

“Yes uncle Bobby, but you bring my Buck back Monday, right?” Eddie asked, needing to make sure.

“That’s what Buck said he wanted.” Uncle Bobby told him

Eddie looked at his Buck who was nuzzled against the other side of uncle Bobby in his lap. “Monday, my Buck?”

Buck peeked out of where he was hiding against uncle Bobby’s chest and nodded.

Eddie sighed in relief as much of his anxiety melted away.

Kicking off his sneakers he curled his feet up on the couch and snuggled in close under uncle Bobby’s arm giving a wide yawn.

The little boy was beyond exhausted from the drama of the morning, but he was too big for naps, he was sure of that.

Looking over, Eddie spotted that his Buck had already fallen asleep, heavy against uncle Bobby.

Uncle Bobby looked at him expectantly.

“What?” Eddie whined sleepily.

“Close your eyes honey. It’s been a really long morning.” Uncle Bobby told him softly.

“Not sleepy, uncle Bobby.” Eddie insisted.

“No, of course not.” Uncle Bobby agreed with a smile.

Eddie nodded and leaned all the way into uncle Bobby who hummed to him softly.

Eddie whined, fussing and squirmed knowing what uncle Bobby was trying to do, but it really had been a very long morning and he couldn’t help but settle heavily against the man, his eyes going heavy.

OoOoOo

Bobby chuckled to himself as both boys slept against him. He just hoped he didn’t have to pee anytime soon with a 6’ and a 6' 3" anchor on him.

He wouldn’t have it any other way.

He really hoped he was doing the right thing with Buck. He thought Tommy was good for him and was happy that Buck wanted to stay with him, weekend away aside. He just worried about his boy and while Tommy was human and had not meant to mess up, he still had. And they would be chatting about that.

Still, Bobby had his own list of fuck up and was eternally grateful for his second chances. Tommy deserved one too and Bobby was glad Buck was wanting to give it.

That didn’t change the fact he was protective as heck of Buck.

Eddie, while hurt in his own way, was better at sticking up for himself than Buck was. In that way he worried much less about Eddie. There were areas that Bobby worried way more about Eddie than Buck though. Buck’s emotional IQ was higher than Eddie’s and he knew how to seek help when his brain felt bad. Eddie very much protested getting help and often spiraled for it.

They both had their unique challenges that stemmed from their parents' casual abuse and dismissal of them. Bobby had worked for years to help them heal, but it was slow going, as it usually was with any sort of trauma that needed healing.

Tommy peeked into the living room from the kitchen and Bobby raised an eyebrow at him when he tried to retreat again.

“You can hide in the kitchen as much as you want, this conversation is still happening.” Bobby told him calmly. His voice was low in deference to keeping the boys asleep, but loud enough he knew Tommy had heard him especially when Bobby heard the answering groan from the kitchen.

Tommy appeared before him again a few moments later. “I honestly get it Bobby. I’m not going to let this happen again.” The younger man promised.

“That’s really good to hear. That means we only have to address it happening this one time.” Bobby told him.

Bobby knew Tommy wouldn’t ever admit it, but he was pouting.

“Come on, help me tuck these boys in and we can go have our chat.” Bobby told him firmly but kindly.

Nodding Tommy easily lifted Buck out of Bobby’s lap and tucked him in on one side of the couch with a throw pillow and a blanket over him.

Bobby managed to get Eddie lying down at the other end of the couch and slid out from under him tucking him in with his own throw pillow and blanket.

Bobby was impressed they didn’t wake up, but he supposed it was a testament to how exhausting their morning has been.

Turning to Tommy he pointed to the steps before leading the younger man upstairs to the playroom. The
Playroom was neutral territory and probably the best space available to handle this.

Bobby took a seat on the impeccably made bed usually reserved for when they had guests over and looked over at Tommy. “What do you usually use on the boys when they have been extra naughty?”

Tommy shuffled from foot to foot and looked anywhere but at Bobby.

“The brush…” he mumbled unhappily.

“I see, go get it please.” Bobby ordered firmly.

Tommy threw Bobby a pleading look only to get a head shake in response. Head down, defeated, Tommy trudged out of the room.

He returned a few minutes later with a thick, wooden, flat back brush.

Bobby held his hand out for it and when it was given over Bobby smacked it against his palm a few times. “Yes, this will do.”

Tommy flinched and took a step backwards.

Bobby gave him a stern look. “You know how this works, young man. You really don’t want me to come and get you.

“No, I really don’t.” Tommy agreed, but made no effort to move closer.

Bobby crossed his arms over his chest, brush hanging from his right hand and waited. When it became clear Tommy wasn’t going to actually do what he was supposed to do here, he uncrossed his arms and held up his free hand. “One…” he raised a single finger.

“Bobby! What? I’m not a child!” Tommy protested.

“Sure are acting like one,” he put a second finger up. “Two… trust me you do not want me to get to three right now, mister.” Bobby warned.

Tommy shuffled his feet and looked very unsure of things at the moment. He nibbled his bottom lip and Bobby could tell he was contemplating pulling a runner.

OoOoOo

Tommy looked towards the door and tried to calculate the odds of him managing to hide somewhere before Bobby could catch him.

Looking back at the man who was now starting to stand, he figured, not so good. He groaned when Bobby started saying “thr…”

“No no no! I’m coming!” Tommy insisted, scurrying over to Bobby who nodded and sat back down.

Bobby grabbed him by his belt loops and yanked him close making embarrassingly fast work of his fly and belt. Before Tommy really knew what was happening he was bare bottomed up over Bobby’s lap and he’d like to say it was the first time, only it wasn’t.

He felt Bobby yank his thighs open a bit and looked back over his shoulder a bit panicked. “Bobby no! What?…” he wiggled and squirmed. This was off to such a cheery start.

Bobby ignored his fussing and brought the brush down with a painful crack once on each inner thigh making Tommy yelp, because hell! That hurt!! Bobby rarely spanked there and Tommy was searching for what he had done to earn starting with the big guns.

“That was for making me count,” Bobby told him “now settle down, we are going to be here for a while.”

Bobby must have put the brush down because the next thing he felt was the older man’s large hand running gently over his cheeks.

“You have quite a bruise, right here.” Bobby told him, tracing where the bruise was on the fullest part of his backside.

“I… uh… Eddie floored me…” Tommy squirmed. He may have glossed over that part when retelling the story to Bobby on the phone earlier.

“Uh-huh, for trying to spank Buck when he didn’t deserve it?” Bobby asked knowingly.

Tommy groaned, but nodded.

“Okay, I’ll avoid that spot as best I can with the brush, but that means other areas may get more.”

Tommy wanted to protest that he didn’t want other spots getting more, but knew he wasn’t going to win and didn’t want to make things worse.

The only hint he got that the spanking was about to proceed was Bobby’s hand moving away from his ass only to crash back down again. Tommy gasped and gave a squirm before settling again.

Bobby worked his hand around Tommy’s backside and he was not careful of the bruise at all with his hand. He hit it dead on a few times in what felt like a very purposeful manor, making Tommy keen softly.

Tommy supposed Bobby had only promised to avoid it with the brush, but it was still so very mean to smack it with his hand.

Tommy bit his bottom lip as the burn built up. Bobby meant business and this was only his hand. They still had the brush to go!

“Bobby,” he whimpered softly. “Please. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I know I fucked up. It won’t happen again!” Tommy begged as tears bit his eyes. He struggled to remain stoic. He’d earned this spanking and wanted to take it like a man.

Tommy immediately kicked himself for that line of thought. He’d worked long and hard with Eddie to teach him tears were okay and didn’t make you less of a man. He needed to practice what he preached. He squirmed again, uncomfortable both emotionally and physically.

“You’re okay.” Bobby assured, wrapping his arm tighter around Tommy’s middle. He apparently knew Tommy was struggling, of course he knew. Bobby was too damn perceptive.

“No,” Tommy breath hitched as he disagreed. “Not okay at all.”

“Buck is going to come home with me tonight and then I will bring him back on Monday just like he asked. He wants his daddy but he needs a few days of space and maybe coddling from Athena, but he isn’t going to admit to that motive.” Bobby continued to smack his reddening backside.

That had Tommy breaking down into tears. He had been so certain Buck wouldn’t be able to give him another chance. He was beyond relieved and overjoyed that he would. His ass was also on fire and that definitely helped get the tears flowing.

Bobby spanked all of the skin red from the top of his bottom down to the crook of his knee. Tommy could help but kick and wiggle when Bobby focused on bringing color to his thighs. Sitting was going to suck, probably at least till Evan came home on Monday.

Tommy whined deep in his throat and tried his best to be still, but it was so hard. Bobby was smacking the sense right out of him so badly Tommy tossed his hand back despite knowing very much better than to do that.

Bobby tutted and didn’t lose a beat. He grabbed Tommy’s wrist, picked up the brush and smacked his palm twice with it before taking hold of his stinging hand and keeping it out of the way.

Tommy yelped and tried to pull his hand back with no luck. That fucking hurt.

“If you are going to behave like a little boy I will have to hold your hand like a little boy.” Bobby told him. Making Tommy groan in embarrassment.

“Bobby…” Tommy whined as he tried to free his hand from the other man’s vice-like grip.

“You don’t let Eddie or Buck reach back and cover their naughty tushies up and they are babies. You, professing to be a big boy, most certainly shouldn’t.” Bobby scolded mildly, making Tommy’s face go as red as his ass and all his inside squirm.

He knew Bobby did that on purpose. He never talked like that! Not even when spanking the boys!

Tommy didn’t really have long to think about it before the brush was coming down on his already sore backside.

He gave a very unmanly squeal before a sob burst out of him.

It had been a really stressful few months capped by this craptastic day and Tommy just… couldn’t. It was too much and he’d been doing it alone

Logically he knew he could ask for help. He knew Bobby and Athena would drop everything at his call to come help with the boys. They loved those two so much, but Tommy had thought he could handle it, didn’t want his boys to think they were too much and he needed backup. That had backfired spectacularly.

“I’m sorry!” Tommy gasped as the brush crashed into his sit spot unforgivingly.

“These boys depend on you. You really let Buck down,” Bobby scolded. “It’s going to be okay, this time but it can never happen again.”

“I know!” Tommy sobbed. And he did know. He knew how badly he had messed up and he was never going to let it happen again. His heart was broken for his littler boy and what he had been through while Tommy had been blinded by Eddie needing him. He knew he had to be more open to help with two littles and not insist on doing it by himself at the expense of either of them.

Bobby grunted in approval and landed two more swats to his sit spot before tossing the brush on the other side of the bed.

Bobby rubbed Tommy’s back up his hoodie and let him cry it out for a while.

“It’s okay. It’s fixable and you’ll be more careful now.” Bobby soothed

Tommy nodded, sniffling woefully. He was definitely feeling sore and sorry and he knew he deserved to.

Bobby helped him stand when he was calmer and Tommy quickly fixed his clothing before Bobby stood up and pulled him into a tight embrace.

Tommy couldn’t help melting against the older man. It had been such a stressful day and it was nice to know, sore backsides aside, that he had someone looking out for him.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Tommy soaking up all the comfort Bobby willingly provided before Tommy pulled back and scrubbed at his face.

Bobby put a hand on either of Tommy’s shoulders. “Promise you will call me next time you get a bit overwhelmed with those two. They don’t care that I come over to help, the only thing it means to them is an extra lap to cuddle in. They don’t see it as you failing them.”

Tommy took in a deep breath and nodded in agreement. “I promise.”

“Good, then if you’re ready we should check on those two.” Bobby smiled.

Tommy smiled back weakly but Bobby was right. Even sleeping those two shouldn’t be left to their own devices too long.

Making their way to the living room Tommy stopped short. Both boys were awake, but quietly watching Bluey on their iPad.

“Daddy you were gone for five whole Blueys! That’s too many!” Evan complained.

“Oh, I’m sorry bub, I didn’t mean to be gone for five Blueys.” Tommy apologized and went to sit down next to Evan on the couch, wincing when he put weight on his sore backside

Evan looked at him suspiciously and then glared at Bobby. “Unca Bobby you spanked daddy! Why are you so mean?” He demanded.

Tommy could tell Bobby was fighting a smile as he held up his hands in mock surrender. “You aren’t the only one who needs a sore bottom when you’ve been naughty and how daddy treated you was naughty.”

Tommy was a little surprised when Evan then took it upon himself to climb into his lap and snuggle down.

“Unca Bobby gives the worst spankings ever, right?” Evan asked him as he curled up against Tommy’s chest. Evan petted his hair in much the same way Tommy would to him when he was upset or hurt.

Tommy ran his fingers through Evan’s curls and hummed. “Yeah it was kind of the worst,” He agreed. “But I deserved it for hurting you.” Tommy wanted to make sure that was very clear. Evan deserved to be treated right and he deserved for people who didn’t to be called out and dealt with.

Evan looked up at him a few moments before shrugging and playing with the string on Tommy’s hoodie.

“I think that unca Bobby needs to not spank no one.” Evan declared seriously.

Bobby chuckled. “Everyone behaves and all their bottoms are safe.”

“I always behave,” Eddie piped up only to continue at Bobby’s raised eyebrow. “Jus, not always how you wan’ me too.”

Bobby shook his head fondly. “Can I leave you three and go cook lunch? Is that safe now?” He chuckled.

“Yes, Bobby, thank you.” Tommy said and truly, despite his sore backside he was very grateful.