Archive of Our Own ^beta

TERASAKA GANG ASSEMBLE

(5 members)

Itona (4:12PM): hm. 

what constitutes defamation again and how do you get sued for it? 

Taisei (4:13PM): Dude what

Terasaka (4:13PM): it’s just like making allegations against them in public or whatever and it’s 3 yrs prison or a 500k fine why r u asking

LOL im not surprised actually of all the crimes of course u would end up defaming someone u naked mole rat

Itona (4:14PM): who are you again? why is there an elephant seal in me and my friends’ chat?

Terasaka (4:14PM): one day u will have to pay for ur crimes and god may not be so merciful 

Taisei (4:14PM): Can we get back on fucking track 

Terasaka (4:14PM): YEAH WHY R U ASKING

Itona (4:15PM): doesn’t matter, defamation doesn’t apply. good because where the hell am i supposed to get 500k from

Taisei (4:15PM): Idk ask the government for our reward money back?

Anyway you can’t leave us hanging like that

Itona (4:15PM): oh actually defamation could apply but not for the reason i originally thought 

i could be the one suing 

or terasaka in this case i guess

Terasaka (4:17PM): huh ???????

can u stop being so cryptic and explain urself ur not hazama 

Hazama (4:17PM): That he is not. 

Terasaka (4:17PM): WHERE DID U COME FROM 

LURKER 

i cant believe uve finally turned read notes off to optimise ur own lurking. we had no way to know u were reading im sort of proud 

Taisei (4:18PM): If you say Hazama’s name 3 times in the mirror she just appears LOL

Hazama (4:18PM): Four* times, actually. Who do you take me for, someone who would overlook the association of the number four with death? 

Just for getting it wrong, you’re next, Yoshida. 

Taisei (4:19PM): Somehow your threats hit different when you live in my house and are a room away

Terasaka (4:20PM): WHERE DID ITONA GO HE NEEDS TO COME BACK AND EXPLAIN HIMSELF

Muramatsu (4:20PM): 420 lmao

Hazama (4:20PM): And isn’t it fascinating how I know for a fact he turned on his phone to type that, didn’t backread any of the messages, and turned it off again?

Taisei (4:20PM): I need him so bad 

Terasaka (4:21PM): MURAMATSU GET UR ASS BACK HERE AND LOCK TF IN ITONA IS SUING SOMEONE

Itona (4:22PM): turn your capslock off idiot it’s burning my eyes

so guys you know our “Common Terasaka Ls” account on vine? 

Taisei (4:22PM): Duh

Hazama (4:22PM): Obviously.

Muramatsu (4:22PM): oh yeah

Terasaka (4:23PM): EXCUSE ME??????

Itona (4:24PM): well some journalist recognised terasaka as one of the school kids involved in the whole korosensei thing and the account’s gained 100k followers basically overnight

Terasaka (4:24PM): EXCUSE ME ?????????????????????????

Itona (4:25PM): she’s one of those conspiratory journalists who thinks there was more to the situation than the government let on and is claiming that terasaka, and by extension all of us, are super soldiers created by the government in test tubes 

this is where the suing for defamation that i was talking about comes in 

Terasaka (4:27PM): WHAT FUCKING VINE ACCOUNT???? 

Itona (4:27PM): your so noisy

Terasaka (4:27PM): you’re*

Itona (4:27PM): ok. die

i want to tell you even less now

Muramatsu (4:28PM): imagine getting your grammar corrected by terasaka that’s gotta be a new low

Itona (4:28PM): imagine getting no business because your ramen has the texture of mucus at the back of your throat when you have the flu and looks like cow shit

Muramatsu (4:29PM): WHAT

Terasaka (4:30PM): can one of u dickheads answer my goddamn question

Hazama (4:32PM): Around August during our third year at Kunugigaoka, Yoshida commented on how many videos he has of you committing crimes against human competency — tripping over air while eating gyudon, getting catapulted out of a wheelbarrow and into a tree, slipping on a genuine banana peel. Muramatsu then had the idea to post these videos on vine, so we would have somewhere to document them. Only each of us knew about the account and we shared it with Itona when he arrived, so we never expected it to blow up.

There, can you stop throwing a tantrum?

Terasaka (4:33PM): WHY WASNT I ASKED FOR CONSENT

Taisei (4:33PM): You literally were. I literally went up to you and asked you “Terasaka can we make a vine account dedicated to you” and you replied with and I quote “Fuck yeah”

Terasaka (4:34PM): huh

i vaguely remember that

Taisei (4:34PM): I literally sent you the link and you got mad trying to open it because you don’t have vine or any social media except for line for that matter 

Itona (4:38PM): found it. here’s the article the reporter wrote and linked on her twitter 

Hazama (4:38PM): “Reporter” is a pretty big stretch, don’t you think?

THE CURIOUS KUNUGIGAOKA AFFAIR: REOPENED AFTER A YEAR

The Daily Acorn, Tanaka Nikei

Last March, Japanese citizens all over the country held their breaths, huddled around their warm kotatsu, glued to their televisions, as a tale torn from Weekly Shonen Jump unravelled before them. Twenty-eight junior high schoolers, third years who should have been thinking only about graduation and their futures, had been held hostage by a monster concealed from the public as a government secret. 

Outrage filled our hearts unanimously as all of our thoughts lay with the poor children. Their minds and bodies warped by stockholm syndrome, they could not compartmentalise the trauma they had gone through. 

The children disappeared and so too did the monster. The government and the school involved, Kunugigaoka Junior High School with its now resigned chairman Asano Gakuhou, evaded all specifics of the situation. Leading us all to wonder as our hearts clenched and we agonised over how our leaders could hide something so horrifying: What REALLY happened on that mountain? And just WHO were those children? 

Digging reveals documentation of these children participating in Kunugigaoka’s sports festival, hosted in the fall, and how they managed to superbly defeat their opponents in a bo-taoshi match despite being far smaller in stature. Their mobility, stamina, endurance and strength soar far above average. Further digging reveals an incident wherein these children were caught free-running across the neighbourhood rooftops. Such evidence brings to mind ideas of super soldiers, artificially created and meticulously trained. Perhaps these children were not the helpless victims they were assumed to be? 

The identities of these children have been buried deep, ostensibly to prevent harassment, but I posit that the government is not quite finished in hiding major secrets from its people. Scouring the database of students who attended Kunugigaoka Junior High and were third years during the crisis with the monster revealed little, as if their existence had been scrubbed entirely. If it weren’t for the photographic and videographic evidence. 

Using said evidence in reverse image search engines pulls up the average social media accounts expected of teenagers in this age group, but one that stands out as particularly unusual is an account on the American video platform Vine with the name “Common Terasaka Ls” . From context, it can be gathered that the boy starring in all of this account’s videos is this Terasaka, and, coincidentally, he happens to have been one of the students involved in the Kunugigaoka affair. 

What makes the seven second videos published on this account noteworthy as new evidence is that every single one of them appears to have been recorded in a school setting, the uniform obviously belonging to Kunugigaoka Junior High, and sharp viewers will notice the flashes of yellow present in more than a few videos. Neatly in line with the description and depiction of the monster. 

Was the Japanese public provided with the truth last March, or has the government been covering up more than they let on? Who are these twenty-eight teenagers, what was the monster who held them captive, why would this all be hidden? 

More to come as our analysis continues. 

TERASAKA GANG ASSEMBLE 

(5 members)

Terasaka (4:59PM): WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON

Itona (5:02PM): your digital footprint is insane 

Yoshida (5:03PM): I forgot Korosensei was in some of those videos man so much for government secret 

Karasuma-sensei is gonna be PISSED

Muramatsu (5:04PM): IN OUR DEFENCE we had no clue it was gonna blow up like this

how the hell did they even find it ????? the account had fuck all followers, doesn’t have any actual pictures of us attached, and terasaka’s stupidly low quality in all the vids

Hazama (5:04PM): They are in our walls. 

In any case, they don’t seem to have Terasaka’s given name. That narrows down the likelihood of him getting stalked by paparazzi. 

Itona (5:05PM): so about that

maehara’s instagram page isn’t privated. last year after graduation he posted the class photo in our yearbook with all of our names attached

Tanaka Nikei ✔ @daily_acorn_nikei

The government tried to scrub them from existence, but we believe that we have found the Kunugigaoka Affair’s elusive “Class E”

[A screenshot of an Instagram post from user maehiro showing a photograph of a yearbook class photo titled “Class 3-E”. Terasaka is circled, along with his name]

74,832 retweets | 340,756 likes

TERASAKA GANG ASSEMBLE 

(5 members)

Muramatsu (5:05PM): of course it’s Maehara bruh

it’d be either him or Okajima

Terasaka (5:06PM): WHY R THEY TALKING ABT US LIKE WE’RE ALIENS 

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING 

Yoshida (5:06PM): Itona have you considered tellin the whole class about this

Itona (5:07PM): well it concerned terasaka’s clown face first 

maehara probably knows already. he’s tried to call me 15 times

Yoshida (5:07PM): And you didn’t pick up???

Bro he’s gonna be losing his mind

Muramatsu (5:08PM): now they have our full names dyou think i could convince them to come to matsuraiken

Itona (5:08PM): do you want to get arrested for attempted poisoning?

Muramatsu (5:08PM): fuck you

Itona (5:09PM): maehara has location services turned on his instagram posts 

wait 

did you guys make the vine account with a phone number?

Yoshida (5:10PM): Ah shit. Yeah. Mine

That explains the fuck ton of random calls from unknown numbers. How’d they even get it???

Itona (5:10PM): it’s pretty basic hacking 

so do you think defamation applies here or nah

Hazama (5:10PM): By getting our yearbook, doesn’t that mean they have Karasuma and Irina’s names too?

And they’re choosing to go after us students. Typical creeps. First they don’t even listen to us when we do try and engage with them, then they act like they actually want to hear our story. 

And no, it doesn’t count as defamation yet. But maybe we can change that.

Muramatsu (5:12PM): why did i just get a chill

Hazama (5:12PM): Itona, can you repay the favour of hacking to them? 

Itona (5:13PM): oh i see what you’re saying

bet

[Video chat starts. Karasuma buffers a few times, before he comes into focus. One by one the former students of E-Class sign on, some in their pyjamas, some in lounge clothes, some still in school or work uniforms. Karasuma’s audio clips a little and he holds his phone up to the camera.]

“I’m sure you’ve all seen this by now,” he says. 

On his phone is the article from the Daily Acorn interrogating the so-called “Kunugigaoka Affair”. The students nod, Terasaka scowls, and tufts of Itona’s hair are just about visible as he hunches over his desk, out of shot of the camera. 

“It’s problematic, to say the least,” continues Karasuma. “But we should have prepared for sustained interest in your case. The government will try and deal with this, especially considering you all are still minors, but going forwards, all I ask of you at the moment is that you ensure all online accounts attached to your name and/or face are private. Am I clear?”

Murmurs of compliance rustle through microphones. Isogai leans forward, hand raised.

“Sir,” he says. “Do you think it would be a good idea to try and subdue their curiosity by agreeing to an interview?”

Karma hums. “That’ll probably just leave them hungry for more…”

“...True.”

“At the moment, let me and Irina handle it,” says Karasuma firmly. “If there is anything you kids can do, you know I’ll be the first to say so.”

[Video chat end.]  

TERASAKA GANG ASSEMBLE 

(5 members)

Itona (6:34PM): i should’ve figured that they wouldn’t be easy to hack

Terasaka (6:34PM): who r we hacking????

Itona (6:35PM): that reporter. are you stupid?

Terasaka (6:35PM): NO

anyway ppl are reposting the vids from that vine account all over. whose fucking idea was it to film me chasing after karma when he stole my belt and i tripped into the pool with my asscrack out

WHOSE FUCKING IDEA

Itona (6:36PM): oh i forgot about that 

a classic

Terasaka (6:37PM): YOU

korosenseis whole face is in it u twerp. how in the hell did u get away with this shit 

for a government secret the government apparently werent hugely vigilant in keeping him a damn secret

Itona (6:38PM): to be fair, he’s wearing a wig and a fake mustache

he was very supportive of our internet careers

Terasaka (6:38PM): THW WHOLE OF JAPAN HAS SEEN MY ASSCRACK

U KNOW IM TRYING TO BE A MEMBER OF THE NATIONAL DIET RIGHT

Itona (6:39PM): and i’m in the process of hacking the person responsible so be grateful you proboscis monkey

Terasaka (6:40PM): WELL HURRY UP BITCH 

Hazama (6:41PM): We should have publicly executed all the reporters hounding us when we had the chance.

Terasaka (6:41PM): and that wld help with the rumours how

Hazama (6:42PM): It wouldn’t.

Terasaka (6:42PM): then what point r u making

Hazama (6:43PM): Would have been funny. 

Itona (6:46PM): Yoshida

@Taisei @Taisei @Taisei @Taisei @Taisei 

@Taisei @Taisei @Taisei @Taisei @Taisei  

Taisei (6:48PM): Man this better be important I’m tryna make out with my boyfriend over here

Itona (6:48PM): well stop sucking muramatsu’s face i need to come over to yours 

and if i see any hint of spit swapping i’m suing you both along with this reporter

Terasaka (6:49PM): HOW CAN U BE MAKING OUT AT A TIME LIKE THIS

OUR IDENTITIES HAVE LITERALLY BEEN LEAKED TO THE PUBLIC

Hazama (6:50PM): It’s sort of the perfect encapsulation of the teenage experience.

Muramatsu (6:50PM): bitch it’s not MY asscrack on primetime news 

Terasaka (6:51PM): im gonna kill u

KUNUGIGAOKA CONSPIRACIES ✔ @TheKunugigaokaAffair

Huge thanks to everyone for the renewed interest in this conspiracy, and huge thanks to @daily_acorn_nikei for her A-grade sleuthing! Who are E-Class and what exactly was the monster that threatened to end the world? Follow to stay tuned for the hottest updates!

13,846 retweets | 66,902 likes

meiko! @mymymeiko  

GUYS OMG I WAS LOOKING AT THE NEWS FOOTAGE FROM LAST MARCH AGAINA DN ISTG ONE OF THE GIRLS IS IN MY CLASS AT SCHOOL

3 retweets | 47 likes 

TORU @akamatsutoru 

Replying to @mymymeiko  

GIRL WHO

meiko! @mymymeiko

Replying to @akamatsutoru  

THE GIRL W SHORT BLACK HAIR. HAZAMA KIRARA. SHE’S SO GLOOMY I HAD NO IDEA SHE WAS A LEGIT CELEBRITY OMGG

[Video of a news conference. The camera focuses on Karasuma and Irina seated in adjacent armchairs. Across from them is a news reporter, eagerly sitting forwards in her seat.]

Reporter (smiling): Today I’m joined by Karasuma Tadaomi from the government’s Department of Defence and his colleague, Irina Jelavic. How are you two?

Karasuma (stiffly): Fine, thank you.

Irina (smiling back): Just peachy.

Reporter: Both were stationed as teachers to the infamous E-Class involved in what has been widely dubbed as the “Kunugigaoka Affair”. Karasuma, is it safe to say that you were aware of the danger posed by the monster holding these children captive? 

Karasuma: The government did all it could to prevent harm from coming to the students, and it succeeded in that mission. 

Reporter: But it still placed the children in a high risk scenario. Why was that deemed okay?

Karasuma: Everything was, and remains, under control. There was no reason to fear and the students knew this.

Reporter: But the children’s families weren’t informed. Why was this?

Karasuma: Had there been any risk, they would have been contacted. There was not. 

Reporter: But the monster was threatening to blow up Earth. Were you not concerned over what it could have done to the children in your care?

Irina (huffing): How many times are you going to rephrase the same question? 

Reporter: …Moreover. What do you have to say about the speculation on the children being trained by the government? On the government using child soldiers?

Karasuma: I would say that anyone going out of their way to violate the privacy of the students will have myself, Irina and the law to answer to. 

Reporter: That’s not an answer, Karasuma. 

Karasuma: It’s as good an answer as you’re going to get. Leave the students out of your conspiracies. 

TERASAKA GANG ASSEMBLE

(5 members)

Hazama (10:21AM): This is insane.

I’m going to curse everyone in this school and then that reporter 1000 times over.

Taisei (10:22AM): What happened??

Hazama (10:22AM): What do you think?

Some girl recognised me and told essentially the entire grade and now I’m being hounded by hoards of zygotes. 

Asking me stupid questions like “where you really held hostage” “are you really child super soldiers” “what did the monster really look like” I feel like my brain is tearing apart.

Taisei (10:25AM): Holy shit

You want me to ditch and come get you?

Hazama (10:26AM): Lest I join Hanako-san in haunting this toilet? Yeah

Itona (10:27AM): i’ve been getting stared at. so has chiba

Taisei (10:27AM): Same. My teacher pulled me aside to interrogate me

Like girl stop I legally cannot say shit

How’s the hacking going, Itona??

Itona (10:30AM): slowly even with ritsu’s help

Hazama (10:31AM): Seems like this Tanaka Nikei is a pro creeper then.

Muramatsu (10:34AM): urghhhhhh we’ve been getting stares too

Terasaka (10:35AM): YOU’VE been getting stares bc of that gayass hickey on ur neck u mean

Muramatsu (10:35AM): END IT

Terasaka (10:36AM): u only have urself to blagerdAHEFHF

Itona (10:37AM): can just picture how mura tackled him

Taisei (10:37AM): LOL

Anyway, I’m still getting calls. It’s so stupid

Tempted to answer some of them and prank them

Itona (10:39AM): do it

Taisei (10:39AM): What do I say though

Hazama (10:40AM): Hurry up in coming to get me. I have an idea.

Taisei (10:41AM): Terrifying but I’m omw

Terasaka (10:45AM): SOME GUY HAS A SCREENSHOT FROM THE VID OF ME GETTING MAULED BY A RIVER OTTER AS HIS LOCKSCREEN 

Muramatsu (10:46AM): deserved

Tanaka Nikei ✔ @daily_acorn_nikei

What are your thoughts on the interview with the Department of Defence’s Karasuma Tadaomi? I know what mine are. Stay tuned.

12,746 retweets | 90,003 likes

How To Evade At Mach 20: The Kunugigaoka Affair

The Daily Acorn, Tanaka Nikei

Curious citizens all across Japan tuned in last night to catch a much anticipated interview with Karasuma Tadaomi from the Department of Defence, the man who served as the teacher of the elusive Class-E. Some may have left disappointed at the lack of new information, others may have left reading between the lines.

That Karasuma would agree to an interview so quickly at all speaks to an urgency on behalf of the government to get the situation under control. They have been caught in a scandal and they know it, they are attempting damage control. Their attempts to hide Class-E away from the world have fallen short and everyone left, right and centre is starved of explanation. 

The first point of interest to address is Karasuma’s colleague and the other teacher depicted beside Class-E in their uncovered yearbook graduation photo: Irina Jelavic. With a little digging, it is not difficult to find out who she is, and the answer is surely bloodcurdling. 

Irina Jelavic is an assassin. Hailing from Serbia in Eastern Europe, her victims are overwhelmingly older men. What is someone like her doing in Japan, why was she permitted to be around children?

Combine this with the evasiveness of Karasuma’s answers, called out by the reporter herself, and you have the recipe for a conspiracy. Consider his body language when the topic of the government’s relationship arose, guarded and stiff. If not super soldiers, child soldiers, then what?

New evidence claims that E-Class are living normal lives and attending normal high schools. How normal can one be after dealings with governments and monsters?

And note the dissonance in the reporter referring to them as “children” and Karasuma referring to them as “students”. [...]

KUNUGIGAOKA CONSPIRACIES ✔ @TheKunugigaokaAffair

The latest article from @daily_acorn_nikei is a must read for followers of the case! Get on it, sleuthers!

16,098 retweets | 87,347 likes

TERASAKA GANG ASSEMBLE

(5 members)

Muramatsu (12:16PM): for like 2 seconds i thought this could be a cool business opportunity but now i just wanna kill everyone tbh

Terasaka (12:17PM): real

mura do u have ur lighter

Muramatsu (12:18PM): obvs

Terasaka (12:18PM): come w me to the bathroom at lunch

@Taisei we’re comin over. @Itona get out of school somehow and get ur ass to taiseis

KUNUGIGAOKA CONSPIRACIES ✔ @TheKunugigaokaAffair

Everyone drop your favourite theories on the TRUTH behind E-Class and the monster that tried to blow up Earth below!

29,640 retweets | 154,653 likes

KUNUGIGAOKA CONSPIRACIES ✔ @TheKunugigaokaAffair

Five students from the E-Class were spotted together skulking around town, one being Terasaka Ryoma from Common Terasaka Ls. What do you think they’re doing?

2,846 retweets | 10,637 likes

KUNUGIGAOKA CONSPIRACIES ✔ @TheKunugigaokaAffair

One of our calls to the number behind the Common Terasaka Ls Vine account went through, but before we could ask about the monster in their videos, a deep, guttural voice pinpointed our exact location and threatened to disembowel us. What could this mean?!

5,903 retweets | 17,816 likes

TERASAKA GANG ASSEMBLE

(5 members)

Itona (2:53PM): i’m almost there

i can taste the defamation money

Taisei (2:54PM): What are you planning on doing once you’re in their account?

Itona (2:55PM): i’m keeping it simple

they’re getting bold

Tanaka Nikei ✔ @daily_acorn_nikei

The government was training the students of Class 3-E at Kunugigaoka Junior High as assassins and had them kill the monster.

107,456 retweets | 736,915 likes

TERASAKA GANG ASSEMBLE

(5 members)

Terasaka (5:04PM): ITONA WHY WOULD U PUT THAT

ITONA

THATS WAY TOO SPECIFIC

ITONA LOOK AT HIW MUCH ATTENTION IT HAS

Taisei (5:06PM): Holy shit we’re cooked

Muramatsu (5:06PM): in what way is THAT of all things gonna solve our situation here

Hazama (5:07PM): Damn. Maybe we should do a ritualistic suicide.

Itona (5:09PM): it needs to be as specific as possible. trust me you clowns

BREAKING: JOURNALIST FOR THE DAILY ACORN, TANAKA NIKEI, TO PAY HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS IN “SUBSTANTIAL DAMAGES” TO THE TWENTY-EIGHT STUDENTS INVOLVED IN THE SO-CALLED “KUNUGIGAOKA AFFAIR” FOR HARMFUL SLANDER OF CHARACTER AND HARASSMENT.