Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Written: October 25th, 2024

-  Northern Vermont  -

"I'll be back in a few days, okay ma?" I say to my mother while packing my massive hiking bag full of things I'll need. My empty gatherers net bag hanging off of it as well as my basket for berry collecting.

"You better be careful, Ellen Brian Paige!" She wags her finger at me with a stern gaze. Uh oh, she whipped out the full name. I know she's serious. "Do you have your Papa's knife that he gave you?" My 60 year old mother walks out of the house with worry in her brow, not liking that her autistic daughter goes off on hiking trips randomly. Even though I pretty much stay in my great grandmas property... Even though it's over 40 acres.

"I never leave home without it." I say with a fond smile, patting my Winchester 2003 knife that's in my shirt pocket. My grandfather gave it to me when he learnt about my gathering hobby. I like to go out in the middle of late spring and during fall and collect ripe berries or mushrooms sometimes even flowers or acorns to make dye. I even trap rabbits and other small game while I'm out there to eat, I use the pelts for the various crafts I do. I go full wild mode for about a week. I don't use any man made tools unless it's an emergency.

"Will you keep Audry2 fed and watered for me?" I ask Mom while stuffing my sleeping bag into my pack with a grunt of effort.

"Yes. I will feed your pitcher plant.." Mom sighs deeply, shaking her head fondly. Grimacing at the idea of tossing live grubs into the plant.

"And Carnivine? Cacnea? My garden?" I say with a squint and raised brow, knowing the woman doesn't really do anything after she comes home from work... and she does NOT have a green thumb.

"Yes honey, I will take care of all your plant children like how you wrote down. Go have fun and keep me updated okay? You have the power banks? Solar panels?" She looks at me with worry and I smile and nod.

"Yes, I have ten power banks and a solar charger with multiple backup cords. I even have my geo tracker on me so you can track where I am on the app." She sighs with relief and nods her head.

Grabbing my pack with a grunt due to the weight, it's stuffed with dehydrated and freeze dried provisions should I ever get lost. I even have re-usable water filters, I am prepared to survive the zombie apocalypse as my little brother would say. Surviving in the wild is a hobby, I'm even working on making a cabin for myself out in the middle of nowhere for me to use. My goal is to be able to stay there for an entire winter at some point.

"I'll see you Monday, okay mom? Love you!" I give her a kiss and she sighs, standing at the door as I begin to trek into the backyard.

Walking past the rusted cars that degraded in the elements that have sat there since i was born, moving past an old syruping shack. I make my way into the beautiful Vermont wilderness. Taking a deep breath I bask in the fresh air, autumn just around the corner. I can smell it in the air. "Into the thick of it! Into the thick of it! We're, trampling through the bush!" I sing to myself over and over and over again, letting my mouth be busy so my brain and body can concentrate.

-  Evening  -

As the dark begins to setting and the sun lowers from the sky. I smile and find a good area to hunker down, I quickly set up my hammock. Throwing my cable into the tree a good ways away, I use the pulley to make sure my bag filled with food is nice and high. Not wanting the bears to steal it. Quickly eating some berries I harvested earlier using a pair of chopsticks and a bowl. Not wanting to get the juice on my hands and attract the bears to me. Nature's teddy bears are ah.. tenacious.

Climbing into the hammock, I snuggle myself up and look at the moon that begins to shine above me. I smile and sigh happily, finally feeling relaxed.  "Alright, goodnight moon. Goodnight Stars.. Goodnight you bhaddies twerking up there on Mars." I say with a little giggle and stare at the night sky until I get drowsy and fall asleep.

-  Two Days Later  -

This is the farthest I've ever gone before. We're going into unexplored territory! I'm so excited for what I'll find! I've collected many acorns and mushrooms. I made sure to give the shrooms a couple of good smacks to make sure the spores would re propagate.

"Huzzah! Unexplored land!" I say while resting my leg on a conveniently placed rock overlooking a small valley filled with trees.

"I claim this for the Paige clan!" I proclaim with a smirk, holding my hand out with my walking stick. "Now.. how can I get down there?" I ask myself with a hum. "When in doubt we go around!" I say and begin to walk along the edge of the cliff face. Making sure to stay a good ways away from the edge, since I don't know the stability of the soil.

Hearing a noise I stop and look, I freeze with wide eyes when I see a baby moose.. "if.. baby's.. where's.." I back away from the moose. "I don't want no trouble swamp puppy.." I say while backing away, but the curious baby moose walks closer. Hearing snapping of twigs my eyes widen and I scream when a mother moose charges me. I try to run away from it but she hits me square on with her rack, I choke in pain from the hit. Lifting me in the air, I hold on for dear life with a scream. She bellows and thrashes her head, I cling on but my grip loosens. She manages to toss me free from her antlers.. right over the fucking cliff.

"NOOOO!!!!" I scream out and press my emergency life alert as I fall. Knowing they will be able to use it to collect my body if I die.. or save me. Whichever comes first.

I hit tree's as I fall, hearing the crunching of branches and bone alike. I finally hit the ground head first on a boulder. Dying on impact, my skull caved in. I lay there with eyes wide and jaw hung loosely, blood begins to ooze lazily from my head. My pupils unfocused.. it's not one day before the coyotes find my body and begin to feast on it.. A day later a bear comes along and eats everything in my pack.. On the final day a rescue crew arrives and finds my half eaten corpse laying dead on the ground... My mother wails in agony when she's told the news.

-  Desert...?  -
-  Third Person POV  -

"Ah.. Finally, it has been some time." A voice speaks from the area filled with cactuses of varying species and heights. A wilted flower sits in a pot on a large rock like alter, given to the feline by her mother.

Something green jumps up onto the rock, covered in prickly thorns.. it looks like a dark green Lynx? It's eyes resemble that of a sunset. "Who do we have here? Hm?" The Cactus cat says with curiosity as it inspects the soul it was given to oversee. It inspects what the soul took as its visage in her dimension, it tells much about the person's character. "Ah a dandelion, you must have been stubborn and set in your ways.." The cat looks down and reads the name on the pot. "Ellen.. it is a pleasure to meet you. I am Opuntia." The cactus cat sets her paw on the small pot, green wisps of magic thrum from her paw. Traveling through the pot and into the soul, the dandelion inside returns to life once more flourishing under the felines magic.

"There we go, I cannot have one of my possible future children be dead, hm?" Opuntia smirks as she looks at the newest soul who has joined her eternal garden. Those who have failed remain dormant and become fertilizer, the souls remain in the soil and the energy they emit naturally feeds her plants. She is not like her barbaric siblings who eat their souls.

Placing both paws on either side of the terracotta pot, she analyzes the girls life through the petals with intrigue. "You enjoyed plants as much as I do. I do hope you succeed in the trials.. Why don't I send you to a more.. fantastical world? Hm? One you enjoy yes?" Opuntia smiles at the dandelion with a fondness. A large pot emerges from the ground nearby, a small cactus grows from it... Each of the cactuses within her garden are souls who have succeeded.. the taller they are, the longer they have been there. Once Ellen finishes her trial she shall transfer her from the pot to the soil, she shall be able to mingle with the others if she so chooses.

"I wish you well child.." Opuntia touches the petals of the flower delicately, her paw glows ever so slightly. "There, now you have power over plants. I wish you luck Ellen.." Opuntia lifts the small flower out of its pot, the pot that once held it disintegrating.. her connection to her old world severing completely. The feline walks over to the large pot and plants the flower beside the cactus. Watching as they connect to one another, the flower begins to transform. Absorbing completely into the cactus and turning the flowers on top into dandelions.

-  ???  -  Ellen POV  -

"Ah... Fuck.." Holding my head in pain, I look around in confusion. Seeing a cliff face, I sigh knowing I've been pushed off it by the momma moose. "Can't fault her.." I say with a grunt, feeling pain in my back, sitting up with a grunt.

Grabbing my compass from my pocket, I hold it up and give it a look. My brows furrow in confusion when I see the direction I was facing.. "What..? The cliff was facing west.." I look to the cliff which is clearly in the opposite direction. "Wait.. that.." I stare up at the height of the cliff and my eyes widen. "That fall should have killed me... Humans are glorified meat suits." I say with a scowl, looking down at my unharmed body that's only experiencing aches and pains. "I.. I remember the branches.. then a burst of incredible pain.... why aren't my bones broken?" I press against my ribs and feel no pain only a minor ache.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, exhaling shakily. "It's okay.. we've got this Ellen. You couldn't have been Isekai'd..." I calm myself down and look to my compass with a grimace. "Well, we pick a direction and pray to the Norns that we find civilization.. If I don't, it's no skin off my back." I attach the wristband on the compass to my body and doublecheck myself and my things. Finding everything satisfactory and there, I huff out with relief and begin the trek. "Here I go again on my own.. walking down the only road I've ever known.." I sing to myself softly while walking through the trees. Trying to find a way back on the cliff so I can see what I'm working with and try to find my way back home. I marked the tree's on my way out here with my knife and by breaking branches. So it should be easy!

-  Evening  -

It's night when I hear wolves.. or something wolf like howling. Coydogs maybe? I climb up a sturdy tree and use my camo hammock situated between to thick limbs. I know I'm not in my world anymore, the stars told me that much.. I may not know a lot of constellations, but I sure as fuck know the big and little dipper. And they ain't in the fuckin sky, I got up on the cliff and looked around.. no space ladles in sight.

Wherever I am, I'll need to survive. I don't even know if humans are the apex species.. Looks like i will be living out my hermit dreams. I sigh softly and get to sleep quickly, knowing I'll need as much rest as I can. I'll need to search for a water source tomorrow and make my home relatively nearby. I don't want to be wiped out by a hurricane unlike the idiots who decided living close to water was a bright idea.

-  Day Two  -

Munching on some of the fresh provisions I collected in my old world which somehow have been sent with me. I finally found a decent river for me to make my home nearby. With my water bottles and filters I should be perfectly fine with water, plus I can always make a distillery. "Thank fuck I play Minecraft." I toss another berry into my mouth with a huff, walking around the area I search for a good place to make a hidden hut.

Ive found a huge clay deposit in the side of an embankment, so I gotta dig myself out a some clay for later use. I'll still sleep in the trees until I can cut up enough wood to build a small house. I'm going to have to make sure that I won't be seen, I don't know what type of intelligent life there is.. I frankly don't want to get killed. I've set up a fuck ton of traps around the area I've made my home. I'm hoping I'll be able to get some meat to cook during the day.

Finding the perfect spot in a small divot in the ground, I grab my paxel and get to work. Making it bigger so I can use it like the beavers house in Narnia the lion the bitch and the glorified fucking closet... Or Ratatoskr the brown, that was his name right? The wizard dude from the Hobbit movies?

Once I've got a good enough area to start I nod in satisfaction, wiping my paxel clean to get a nice edge. I walk over to some younger trees and chop them down. I'll need something simple first just to keep me safe at night. I toss the logs I've gathered near the hole I dug. Pulling off all the leaves and shoving them in a little net bag so they dry out. I plan on using them as kindling.

Looking up to the sky I see it's about noon. I'll finish the house then check traps if I have time. Grabbing the small logs I stab them into the ground and make a tiny teepee, using branches covered in leaves to make sure it's covered. I'll have to make a mud, clay and straw mixture to make bricks in future.

Grabbing some vines off of the trees, I use them as rope to tie everything together, it's getting close to sun down when I'm finally done my little shelter. Grabbing my paxel and bag, I take off into the woods, carving symbols on the trees that only I will understand to mark my way home.

Finding a rabbit in one of my traps I kill it quickly with a stab to the brain stem. I gut it and take the meat back home, cooking it away form my home before making my way back and crawling inside to sleep. This shelter should last until I make a more proper one.

-  Day Five  -

I've finally made my little house good and proper, it's simple and I plan on making a better version but I just need protection from the elements. I already got moss and leaves to cover the outside to act as camouflage. If you didn't look hard enough you would think it was a rock thanks to the clean grey clay.

I'm now working on a bed, which will be simple. Just elevated off the cold ground so I can conserve warmth in my sleeping bag. I'm using the rabbit skins as another barrier against the ground. I cooked the insides over the fire so it wont attract any animals. I finished it just before dinner time, eating some rabbit and mushroom stew. I properly identified it using my book when I gathered it before I fell.

-  Day Six  -

Waking up surrounded by flowers growing inside my hut was not on my bingo card. All of them even look medicinal, I recognize a most of them... Except one. "The shit?" Leaning closer I move to touch the plant only to freeze and watch as the plant moves to touch me, the vine wrapping around my finger.. I watch as all the plants sway side to side. "There's.. there's no wind.." I say with slight fear as the plants lean towards me, a stalk of lavender stroking my leg. "Wait.. am.." I squint at the plants and hold my hand out, the lavender moving as I will it. "Holy fuck buckets I'm poison ivy." My eyes widen in shock then I grin maniacally. "Hehehehe...." Rubbing my hands together evilly. This world won't know what hit em.

Chapter Text

Written: November 1st, 2024

Sticking my tongue out in concentration, I grunt as I move the plants with my mind. The vines on the trees coiling themselves into usable rope for me, I pant loudly once it's finished. Grabbing my knife I cut off the end and haul it to my hut. Hahaha! This shits so fun!

Tossing the vines down next to the entrance of my hut, I bite my lip in thought. "Okay, so.. We can make plants move with our minds... And we can summon plants in our sleep. But can we do it while awake? Could I possibly force the plants to grow?" I say with a brow raised sitting down in my hut to relax for a bit.

Shutting the makeshift door I adjust and hold my hands in front of a barren patch of dirt. I collected all the medical plants and am having them dry for later use. I take a long deep breath and concentrate, willing a daisy to sprout from the ground...

After a few mins of concentration, nothing happens. I sigh loudly. "Maybe.. maybe I need a base? You can't create something from nothing after all.." I bite my lip and grab my pack, pulling out one of the acorns. Burying it in the dirt I try again, holding my hands in front of the plant. I concentrate hard on the plant.

I see the soil move and my eyes widen, a daisy pokes out of the ground and grows tall. My jaw drops in awe. "We've.. we've cracked the code.." I say with a manic grin. "I'm in." I say with my hacker voice.

Grabbing all of my acorns from my bag I cackle with glee, jumping up and out of my hut. I begin to walk around the perimeter of my new home, planting the acorns and willing them to become blackberry bushes. Knowing that they naturally have thorns on them, it will offer protection for me.

- Hours Later -

Slowly after many hours I created a fucking wall of blackberries to act as a natural defense. Nothing that doesn't want to be sliced to ribbons will get past them. The cuts from the thorns hurt like a bitch.

Right now I'm sitting down and growing a sunflower, allowing it to grow to maturity before chopping it down and grabbing the seeds off of the head. Munching on blackberries while I do, I toss all the seeds into a ziplock bag for future use. Thinking about possible different seed types for future usage. But a sunflower is good for now.

"Okay, time to do the garden now. I can have unlimited food! Too bad I'll be forced to eat my veggies.." Grabbing my paxel I walk over to a clear area and begin to till the soil, removing any pesky stones from the dirt. Using some spare logs I had I use them to outline my little garden before digging holes in the ground. Planting the three sisters, corn, beans and squash. Then planting carrots to fill the space.

I make sure to plant different varieties of berries and some fruit trees inside my little oasis. "Well fuck, now what do I do?" I say with a frown, kinda pissed that foods taken care of. I munch on a seedless banana happily. At least I can genetically modify my stuff to not be able to spread via seeds. I wouldn't want to effect this worlds exo system.

"Well.. I could build a well..?" I say with a grimace, swallowing my mouthful. "Nah, not yet. Let's focus on training my powers." I nod to myself in agreement, walking over to a little free area with a rock to sit on. "Then bath time." I say reluctantly.

- Two Weeks Later -

The more I use my newfound power the easier it becomes I've found. It's become so easy now to grow plants to maturity. They sprout faster and faster every time. Instead of minutes of growing the entire plant AND the fruit to full maturity it takes a few seconds.

"Tomorrow, I build my house proper.. then I'm gonna make a bow!" I say with a beaming grin, tossing back another strawberry with a smirk. Going to my hut and laying down comfortably with a smile.

- Next Day -

Planting four seeds in the ground at four corners. I hold my hands out and envision oak trees, they begin to sprout and grow tall. I force the branches to interlock and become strong. They will be my frame for my new house, I will stunt their growth so my house isn't lifted off the ground unless I want it to be. In future I may need to raise it high in the air to keep me safe.

I plant seeds down a line. "Wait.." I bite my lip with a squint. Envisioning stereotypical vines from video games, like the ones that the Briar pig guys in WoW live in.. and begin to force them to grow. I envision the thick woody vines that erupt from the earth, using the spines as small shelves. Weaving into each other like a basket and making the walls and roof of my new home. Once it finishes I look at the product and grin.

"Hahaha!!!" I cackle evilly. "UNLIMITED POWWERRRRR!!!!!" I screech out and scare the birds around me. Shaking my fists in the air.

Walking into the natural doorway I see the pitch black room and smile. Grabbing my bag from outside I bring it inside and set it down in the corner. Tossing some more sunflower seeds into the soil I grow myself a new bed while also moving the trees roots to make me a wooden flooring. "Fuck this is so cool." I giggle with excitement, shaking my hands at my sides with glee.

"Wait.. could.." I bite my lip in thought, thinking of all the plants creatures in pop culture like Groot or Flowey. "I know Poison Ivy made herself her own plant friend in the cartoon.. and since i made that magic briar.. what if.." I crouch down while staring at a seed in my hand. Planting it into the soil in front of me, I envision Groot.

Moments later a small sprout like twig in the shape of baby Groot appears with a smile. Holding it's hands up to me with a smile, I giggle and let it hold my finger. The small sprout acting like a baby as it grows quickly. "Mama?" It soon grows to full height and looks around. It looks to me with a smile.

"Hello there.." The plant man giggles and claps his hands. "Come on, let's go outside." I hold the trees hand and lead him out the door. "Your name, is Groot."

"I am Groot?" Groot points at itself and I snort with a nod.

"Yes. I'm your ah.. mama, Ellen." I lead him to a free area.

"Mama!" Groot claps his hands happily. "I am Groot!" Oh ah.. is that all it says?

"Your job Groot, is to be a sentry and guardian. Only attack if I will it okay? I'm gonna make you some brothers and sisters. Would you like some friends?" Groot smiles and nods his head.

I grab my bag of seeds and get to work. Growing three more Groot's, two female and another male. "Mama! Friends!" Oh so it does say more. Thank God.

"Yeah buddy! Friends!" I smile at him and he beams, the three Groot's grow quickly.

"I am Groot!" He points to himself happily.

The two females look to me in confusion. "Ah.. your names shall be Daisy and Tulip." I point to them with a raised brow and they nod happily. The male Groot that looks buffer tilts his head. "Hmm... How about Spruce?" I say with a brow raised and he nods

"I am Spruce!" He yells out while jumping up and down.

"I am Daisy!" The more voluptuous female says with a beam joining in.

"I am Tulip!!" The smaller one says shyly.

"I am GROOT!!!" Groot says with enthusiasm.

I giggle at all of them, they look to me for orders. "Okay gang... Ah.. shit how am I gonna contact you guys?" I say while biting my lip.

"Hm.." Spruce holds his chin in thought, all of them acting like they're thinking a long.

"I know just the plant!" I clap my hands with a sadistic grin, dropping to the ground I plop down a seed willing it to grow. I envision a good Flowey that will protect me from any harm and will be my messenger. I feel my fingers tingle like pins and needles and grunt slightly.

I focus for a few minutes and feel a tingle in my head that makes me furrow my brows. I'm so focused that I don't see the yellow flower burst from the ground and shake the dirt from its petals. "Hi" My eyes open and I squeak, seeing a yellow flower with a face. All the Groot's startle with wide eyes.

"Uh.. holy fuck it worked!" I say with shock.

"Who are you guys? Who am I?" The flower says with confusion, tapping it's face with a leaf.

"Im Ellen, I guess I'm sort of like your mother in a way?" I say with a squint, before gesturing to the others. "Ah! These are your siblings.. Groot, Spruce, Daisy and Tulip."

"Oh! Nice to meet ya! Do you know who I am?" The flower tilts its head in confusion, looking exactly like Flowey from Undertale.

"Do you like the name Flowey?" I say with a small smile and the flower nods it's head. "Then that's your name now."

"Yay! Im Flowey! Flowey the Flower!" The small flower's stem bounces up and down, it beams at me with a smile. I giggle softly at my creation. All of the Groot's smile and clap their hands along. "Say, is this our home?" The flower looks around in curiosity.

"Yup, just finished it. I just gotta make a door and fireplace and we're golden." I say with excitement to my new little buddy. The flower then pouts. "What's the matter, Flowey?" I ask the small flower with a tilt of my head.

"I can't move." It pouts while looking around the area longingly.

"Try pulling yourself underground with your roots." I say with a smile, the flower nods and concentrates. It disappears into the dirt..

"Whoa!!!" Looking around I see Flowey poked out a ways away looking around in awe, popping back underground and appearing next to me. "This is amazing mama! Did you make all this?"

"I grew all the blackberries yeah. I'm the only person who will be able to leave without getting scratched. Other then the others" I say smugly to the flower.

"Ah, I see." Flowey looks around with a smile.

"Your job Flowey is to relay messages between me and Groot's friends. So you're going to need to get used to moving underground." Flowey nods his head.

"Okay mama! I'll practice!" Flowey says with enthusiasm, starting to pop up and out of the dirt in different areas.

"Okay. Well, I gotta check the traps. Why don't you guys follow along? I'll show you how to collect the critters yourselves." The Groot's nod with smiles, Tulip grabs my bag and hands it to me with a smile.

"Thank you, Tulip. Let's get going!" Holding out my hand, the berry bushes move aside allowing me to pass without getting sliced.

I begin to lead the Groot's to the forest, coming up onto my first wire trap. I see a rabbit laying down panting. "This is a rabbit. A good source of lean protein and pelts, although they are small. This is how you dispatch the rabbit without effecting too much of the hide." Grabbing my knife from my pocket, I push down the button and flick it open. Holding down the thrashing animal until it calms down, I smack it hard on the back of its head and stun it. Quickly using my knife I stab into its neck and slice it's brain stem. Killing it instantly and painlessly.

"See? I smack it hard right here." I hold up the dead rabbit and the Groot's lean forward. "Then you slice here to sever the brain stem, I usually like to chop the whole head off to make sure, then hang it upside down on a tree to let it bleed out. The bloods not that tasty." I say with pursed lips.

The Groot's step forward and pokes at the blood, I watch as it slowly disappears as they absorb it like water. "Well, that's one way to do it... Any of you want the head?" I hold out the now severed head. Daisy grabs it and eats it whole with a smile. I simply blink at her.

"Uh.. okay... Now!" I clap my hands. "This is how you reset the trap." I go through the motions of delicately setting the trap. They nod in understanding. "In future I'm going to build a small bunny area so I can breed my own meat. Maybe I'll even release some back into the wild to repopulate." I say with a hum, standing back up from the ground. Groot grabs my rabbit for me and holds it. "Oh, thank you Groot."

"We can kill da bunny's mama!" Tulip says with an eager nod.

"Yeah! Show us da traps!" Spruce says with a grin, pounding his hand.

"Alright, follow along kids." I smile at them and make my way to the next trap.

- One Hour Later -

We all stand in front of one of my larger traps, seeing an angry fox trying to chew it's way out. I sigh softly with disappointment, having hoped for a dear. "Groot, can you relocate the fox? A good ways off of you could. Don't want him coming back and getting trapped again."

"Yes mama!" Groot steps forward and the fox barks and yips at him. The tree easily restrains the fox using his limb to grab all four legs and it's neck at once. Spruce walks up and quickly loosens the snare.

"Oh you poor thing." I frown when I see its wounded leg. "Hold on Groot." Reaching into my bag I grab a small bag of leaves. Shoving them in my mouth with a grimace, I chew it up real good before spitting it onto my hand. Slathering it onto the foxes leg, I give Groot a nod and he begins to walk away. "Don't lose your way Groot!" I call out to my plant child and he gives me a thumbs up.

I sigh softly with a fond smile, looking to my other kids I noticed that Spruce easily reset the trap. "Well done Spruce!" I clap and beam at my son, he giggles with a smile.

"Alright gang. Let's head back home and check on Flowey. Tomorrow we'll have to get more water after I make some containers." They all nod and we begin to walk back home.

- Third Person POV -

A few days away is a party of dwarves and a single Hobbit and mage, all riding on horses and one pony down the trail. They near closer and closer to the troll territory.. yet they do not know it yet..

Chapter Text

Written: November 1st, 2024

- Two Days Later -

"Mama!" Flowey pops out of the ground right next to me as I'm collecting water with Tulip and Daisy using the buckets that are mini bonsai trees.

"Flowey?" I look to him with a raised brow, wanting to know why he's frantic.

"Groot found something! Some weird huge gross monster things! They're hiding in a cave nearby!!" Flowey says with urgency making my eyes widen.

Nodding my head I get up and rush back to the house to grab my pack. Knowing that Groot is on an exploration mission to survey the area of threats. He's gonna be pretty far out.

Grabbing my bag with enough stuff in it to last a fucking month. I strap it up, stuffing my sleeping bag on top. "Mama?" Tulip steps into the room with worry.

"Tuney, Im gonna be heading out. You're in charge okay? You know how to maintain everything like I taught you." I zip up my jacket walking outside I grab some fresh fruit and put it in my net bag. It's better to be over prepared.

"Okay mama. I'll make sure everything's okay!" She nods with determination.

"I'll be back baby." I give her a kiss before jogging out of the camp, following Flowey who pops out every once and a while.

- One Day Later - Night -

With Flowey popping right out of the earth, he points with his leaf towards the glowing fire in the distance. I squint with suspicion, wondering what these creatures are. I crouch down and sneak closer to the fire.  Moving a bush back slowly my eyes widen when I see three very familiar trolls.. with an entire pack of very familiar dwarves roasting on a spit. "Uh…the-the secret to cooking dwarf, is um…" Bilbo stands up all alone trying to find a distraction. Biting and worrying his lip, bouncing up and down.

"Yes? Come on." The troll by the name of Bert says with a scowl to Bilbo. I frown at this altercation. I can't fucking believe I'm in the goddamn Hobbit! I'll have to go through the forest of hell before I see my sexy elf prince!

"It’s, uh…" C'mon Bilbo. You're a Hobbit. You know stuff about food and what not to take.

"TELL US THE SECRET!" Bert yells out at Bilbo who gulps in fear.

"Ye-yes, I’m telling you. The secret is…to…skin them first!" He says with fear, looking to the dwarves frantically and apologetically.

"Tom, get me filleting knife." Bert looks to the other, holding his hand out.

"What a load of rubbish! I’ve eaten plenty with their skins on. Scoff ’em down I say, boots and all!" William says with a frown, shaking his head with a huff.

"He’s right! Nothing wrong with a bit o’ raw dwarf. Nice and crunchy." Tom says with a grin towards the dwarves who looks panicked.

"This ain't good.." I whisper to Flowey who frowns up at me, watching the dwarves bicker.

"What are we gonna do mama?" He asks me with curiosity, leaning his stem towards me.

"Remember how mama told you that I'm not from this world?" Flowey nods his head, remembering the story. "Well I know where I am now. And I'm gonna kill those fucking trolls." Grabbing my bag filled with chia seeds from my side, I grab a fist full and stand up. Walking out of the bushes. "HEY ASS BUTT!" I scream out and everyone looks to me.

"Huh?" Bert looks at me in confusion. I toss the seeds to the ground in a wide arc. It takes a moment but they erupt from the soil as thick briar vines, sharp and deadly instead of the dull ones i use as shelving in my house. They launch towards the trolls and wrap around them like snakes. I control them through my mind with a scowl on my face.

"AHH!!!" Tom screams as the briars twist and squeeze, cutting into the trolls like butter. Breaking their bones with loud cracks.

"WHAT THE BLAZES- AH!!" Bert cries out as I rush forward, clenching my fist the briars do a final squeeze and slice through the trolls one last time. Leaving them as chunks on the ground. Bilbo looks at me in horror and amazement, the dwarves are rendered speechless.

"Whoa!!! So cool mama!!!" Flowey pops up beside me with a smile.

"Where's your brother?" I see Groot pop out of the darkness next to the horses and dwarves who scream in fright. The horses begin to settle down and I sigh. "Groot, I need some help." I rush over to the dwarves who are on the fire.

"Yes mama." He says walking over to me with a smile.

"Who the bloody hell are you, witch?" Dwalin says with a frown and questioning look. Wondering if Gandalf knows me, I ignore him.

"Groot, lift them off the fire please. Cut them loose, let me prepare a burn salve." I order my son who nods with a hum, extending his hands he grabs the spit and lifts it off the fire all the dwarves begin to talk over one another in alarm.

"Flowey, help the ones in the sacks." I say while grabbing my mini mortar and pestle I made from a rock. Grinding up some herbs in it, making a mushy gross snot like goo after I add in the honey and aloe.

"Yes mama!" Flowey pops over to Thorin who looks at the flower with stone faced fear. "Stay still please!" He uses his leaves to undo the tie and the bag falls loose. He pops over to the next dwarf.

"Who are you?" Bilbo asks after he's freed by Groot who freed the dwarves on the spit.

I look to him with a raised brow. "I'm a woman from another world, Mister Baggins." I say deadpan and his eyes widen. "It was quite the surprise when I stumbled upon your group. I didn't know which world I ended up in, now I know." I say with a sigh, grabbing the salve and walking over to Oin and handing it to him. "Master Oin, this should help with your party's burns." I say with a smile to the old dwarf.

The old dwarf looks up to me, grabbing the wooden container he inspects it. "What herbs are these?" He plays with the thick goop of my Aloe Vera, Calendula and honey mixture.

"The salve is Aloe Vera, Calendula and Honey. Aloe is an herb from more desert regions of my planet while Calendula is from southern Europe. On a different continent entirely." I state. "The honey I had my son collect from a hive near my home."

"I nae heard of any of these plants.. do you have any on ya?" He asks with curiosity, I smirk and crouch down. Dropping seeds into the soil I will them to grow as aloe and Calendula, the plants erupt from the earth and they stumble back.

"I can also plant food." I say with a smile. "Ah! Where are my manners, I am Ellen Paige. At your Service!" I bow to them with a beaming smile. "I hail from the country of America in the state of Vermont. The land of maple syrup and sliding down snowy mountains on a board." I wiggle my eyebrows at the man who stares at me dumbfounded.

"I am Thorin Oakenshield, this is my party of traders." Thorin steps up to me, rubbing his wrists.

"There's no need to lie. I know where you're going and why you're going there." This makes all the dwarves squint at me. "The realm I am from had a ah.. scribe who held the ability of foresight. He wrote of a story about you and your company, so I know what is going to happen. I would like to offer my assistance if you would have me. I am a formidable magic user." I gesture to my huge briars and the bloody mess that was troll.

"Poppycock!" Dwalin bellows out with a sneer, standing beside Thorin covered in my healing goo.

"I can prove it to you." I look to Dwalin who raises a brow. "Radagast the brown one of Gandalf wizard friends is on his way here. He will appear on a sled of Rhosgobald rabbits saying 'Thieves, fire Murder'." I say with a smile. "He will talk to Gandalf about Dol Guldur."

"We should give the lass a chance." Balin says to Thorin who looks at me with contemplative gaze.

"Fine. If this proves false you are not welcome in my party." He says with a nod and I beam.

"Yay! You don't have to worry, I have no need for riches anyways. I'm happy living a simple life in the woods." I say with a smile, shrugging with indifference.

"It seems.." Hearing Gandalf's voice I jump in surprise and turn around. "We have a new person amongst us ." Gandalf looks to the giant briars still in the air covered in blood before looking to me with curiosity.

"Ah, should probably ah.. get rid of those... Hold on." Holding my hand out the briars slowly slink back down and shrink in size. Transforming into a patch of beautiful flowers native to the area. "Much better, Hello Gandalf. It's a pleasure to meet you." I bow to him with a beaming smile. Bouncing on the balls of my feet.

"And who might you be my dear?" He looks to me with a raised brow, leaning on his staff his head tilted.

"My name is Ellen Paige." I bow my head to him and he nods with a hum.

"She claims to be from another realm." Kili says with a curious look on his face. Wanting to know if it's true or not.

"I don't believe it." Ori says shaking his head. The adorable little academic.

Thorin turns away from me and looks to Gandalf. "Where did you go to, if I may ask?" He says with a frown on his face, I walk a bit away to Groot who's petting the horses with a smile. Giving them a bit of privacy.

"Flowey?" My son pops out beside me with a smile. "Can you search for their horde please? Snag some gold if ya can." I hand him a small rabbit skin pouch and give him a wink, he giggles disappearing into the earth. I look to Groot. "Groot, make sure the Ponies don't run off okay?" He looks to me and nods, using his arm to grab all of their reigns in one hand.

"I will mama. I take good care of Ponies!" He nods his head, using one hand to pet the horses who nuzzle into him. Not feeling threatened by the plant man whatsoever.

"There must be a cave nearby." I hear Thorin say and walk back over.

"My son Flowey is already searching for it. It shouldn't be but a moment until he finds it." I rest my hands in my pockets, cracking my back with a grunt.

"Your.. son?" Bofur asks in confusion, tilting his head. Looking to Bifur who just shrugs, able to understand common but can't speak it because of his head injury. On account of the fucking axe in his head.

"Well I did grow him." I say with a smirk, reaching around I slide my pack off and unzip it. Setting it on the ground I crouch to look for what I need.

"Curious pack you have there.." Gandalf says with a squint.

I grab some Vaseline from the side pocket and stand up. "Why thank you, I bought it. It's not cotton, its made of polyester which is a sort of.. plastic made from oil." I

"You can make clothes with oil??" Gloin says with wide eyes, completely baffled.

"Well ah.. maybe not your society just yet. My society is very advanced. We don't even use horses to get around anymore, we use mechanized contraptions called Cars. They're like wagons that pull themselves, they can go twice as fast as a horse going top speed... We view speed as mph, or miles per hour where I'm from. A horse goes 20-30 while the fastest cars can go 100 or faster." All of their eyes widen in shock, not believing something can go that fast.

"Why would you need something that fast?" Ori asks me with curiosity.

"Well, America is huge. It would take about 5-6 hours just to go from the top of my state to the bottom, it's one of fifty states.. Texas is te largest and it would take like ten hours, that's going max speed.." Dori shakes his head in disbelief. "Now onto other things. The cave is going to stink something mighty fierce." I open the jar of Vaseline and scoop some up, putting it under my nose. "This will help with the stink."

Oin leans forward and sniffs the jar curiously, pulling back he coughs loudly. "What is tha??" He says with watering eyes, coughing even harder. "I cannae breath!!"

"Vaseline a type of petroleum jelly. Its made using mineral oil and waxes. Its common to use to help with flu like symptoms by smearing it on your chest." I gesture to my chest in a circular motion. "But I learnt that morticians- er.. Undertakers use it to stop the scent of dead bodies from interfering with their work. Would anyone like some?" I offer with a smile.

Fili and Kili step up and give it a sniff, coughing loudly just like Oin. They step back and gasp for breath, leaning against one another. "It cannae be that bad!" Bofur rolls his eyes and steps up, putting his finger in and rubbing it around his nose. Taking a big sniff his eyes widen. "Whew! Can't smell anything but this goop!" He coughs for a few moments before he gets used to it.

"Moma!" Flowey pops up and startles the dwarves who draw their weapons. "I found the cave! Pretty neat stuff in it~" he says with a smirk.

- Near the Cave -

"You give plants sentience?" Gandalf asks as we begin to walk towards the cave, Flowey leading the way.

"Yeah, some of them anyway." I smile at him using a walking stick as Groot follows with the horses.

"I see you have a Ent with you. Did you create him as well?" Gandalf tilts his head, asking with curiosity.

"Yes, I have four children. Spruce, Tulip an Daisy are all back at my home. This is my son Groot." Groot waves at the wizard with a smile. "I plan on rebirthing the Ent-wives in future since that fucking bastard killed them all." I say with a scowl filled with hate towards Saruman. Gandalf squints at me in confusion.

"Oh, what’s that stench?!" Dori gags holding his hand to his mouth, ushering his little brother Ori away from the cave.

"It’s a troll hoard." Gandalf looks to me with a glimmer in his eye. "Be careful what you touch.."  he steps inside, I follow along after creating a small living lantern filled with glowing moss.

Thorin, Nori, Gloin and Bofur follow along eagerly. Bilbo follows reluctantly. I look around in awe, Flowey pops out with a smile. "Here mama!"

"Thank you Flowey. Why don't you keep watch?" I say and he nods popping back out.

"Seems a shame just to leave it lying around. Anyone could take it..." Bofur says while stroking his chin, looking at all the gold.

"Agreed. Nori, get a shovel." Gloin looks to the star haired dwarf who sighs, walking back outside.

Thorin finds a rack filled with dusty weapons and grabs a sword, rubbing the dust off of it. "These swords were not made by any troll." He says while appraising the weapon.

"Nor were they made by any smith among men. These were forged in Gondolin, by the High Elves, of the First Age." Thorin drops it as if it had burned him, a scowl on his face. Gandalf picks it back up and hands it to him with a smile. "You could not wish for a finer blade."

"Man, I want a cool elf sword!" I pout while looking around. "Elf are the coolest, second best to dwarves though." All the dwarves in the cave puff or their chests when they hear me.

"Are dwarves and elves native to your land, Ellen?" Bilbo asks me curiously, stepping up beside me.

"Sadly no. All we have is stinking humans." I say with a scowl, crossing my arms with a huff. If we had any other races.. I shudder to think about the racism and speciesism.. "Dwarves, Hobbits, Elves and magic users are all fantasy where I come from. We don't have Trolls or Goblins.. all we have are animals and humans." I sigh with disappointment.

"Humans..?" He says with confusion, tilting his head. Not understanding the term.

"Oh right, you just call them 'Men' here. Kinda sexist not gonna lie, but okay." I shrug and his ears turn red. I look to Gloin and snort with amusement. "Remember where that is Bilbo." I whisper to him and point to where they're burying the chest. He gives me a perplexed look but nods his head.

"We’re making a long-term deposit." Gloin says after Thorin gives him a dirty look.

"Let us get out of this foul place. Come on, let’s go. Bofur, Gloin, Nori." Thorin calls out and all the dwarves pout, wanting to hide away more treasures. They are so squirrel coded.

"Bilbo and Ellen." Gandalf says and we both turn to him.

"Hm?" Both me and Bilbo hum to the man.

"I have found something for each of you. Here. This is about your size Bilbo." He hands us both weapons and I giggle with glee, jumping up and down. The dwarves look at me in confusion, unsheathing the blade I gasp at its beauty.

"I can’t take this." Bilbo looks up to Gandalf with wide eyes, the worst weapon he's held was a knife! And that's only for when he cooks!!!

"The blade is of Elvish make, which means it will glow blue when orcs or goblins are nearby. It shall help us on our journey." I nod in agreement to Gandalf.

"I have…I have never used a sword in my life!" He squeaks out and I giggle at the nervous little Hobbit.

"And I hope you never have to. But if you do, remember this: true courage is about knowing not when to take a life, but when to spare one."

"Neither have I Bilbo! But when in doubt Bilbo, you swing it like a baseball bat!" I demonstrate with the sheathed blade. Gandalf sighs at me with a small smile, Bilbo looks at me and copy's me reluctantly. "Hack and slash! The pointy end goes into the enemy!" I say with a giggle and he nods.

"Something’s coming!" Thorin yells out from outside the cave, I smirk smugly as we exit.

"Gandalf??" Bilbo squeaks out, looking to the wizard in alarm as we all frantically exit.. well them, I'm strolling through the cave. Shoving handfuls of coins in my pockets.

Just as we exit, Gandalf yells out. "Stay together! Hurry, now! Arm yourselves!"

"Thieves! Fire! Murder!" Thorin's eyes widen when he hears those words and he looks to me while smirk at him, wiggling my eyebrows.

"Radagast..." Gandalf chuckles softly in relief, holding a hand to his chest. "It’s Radagast the Brown!" He waves his hand downward and everyone lowers their weapons.

"Told ya so~" I sing out to Thorin, while leaning towards him.

"How.." he looks at me completely bewildered. He thought I was a crazy witch who lived in the woods.. now he's unsure what to think.

"Next thing that's gonna happen is Warg's are gonna attack." I say to him and his brows furrow.

"What on earth are you doing here my friend?" Gandalf steps up to the brown wizard.

"I was looking for you, Gandalf. Something’s wrong. Something’s terribly wrong." Radagast says while shaking his head, brows furrowed.

"Yes?" Gandalf says with furrowed brows, leaning forward on his staff.

"Just give me a minute. Um…Oh! I had a thought and now I’ve lost it... It was…it was was right there, on the tip of my tongue! Oh!" Radagast sticks his tongue out and his eyes widen. "It’s not a thought at all! It’s a silly old… stick insect." I gently grab the bug from his mouth before Gandalf can, putting it on a branch with a smile. Happy to let the bug live a good life. Gandalf looks to me with a small smile.

"Mr. Radagast, may I pet your rabbits?" I ask with a smile, clasping my hands together pleadingly. THEY'RE SO FLUFFY!! I WILL FUCKING DIE IF I DONT PET THEM!!!

He looks to me and double takes. "Why uhm.." he looks to Gandalf in confusion as to who I am and why I'm here. "Yes of course." I giggle with glee rushing over to the rabbits. Fili and Kili look at me with amusement as I begin to pet the dog sized bunny's. I scratch all the familiar places I used to on my old pet rabbit BunBun when she was alive. The rabbit leans into me, pressing its head down onto my nails, it's foot thudding happily. All the other rabbits hop over wanting to be pet as well. I giggle and pet them as well, littering them with kisses. Kili smiles softly at me.

"The Greenwood is sick, Gandalf. A darkness has fallen over it. Nothing grows any more, at least nothing good. The air is foul with decay. But worst are the webs." Radagast says with a growing grave frown.

"Webs? What do you mean?" Gandalf says with a equally grave frown.

"Spiders, Gandalf. Giant ones. Some kind of spawn of Ungoliant no doubt, or I am not a Wizard! I followed their trail, they came from Dol Guldur..." He says gravelly, gripping onto his staff tightly.

"Dol Guldur..? But the old fortress is abandoned.." Gandalf looks down t his friend.

"No, Gandalf, it is not. A dark power dwells in there... such as I have never felt before. It is the shadow of an ancient horror. One that can summon the spirits... of the dead. I saw him, Gandalf. From out of the darkness... a Necromancer has come." Radagast speaks with eyes filled with horror.

"Its not a necromancer." I say loudly, the wizards both look to me.

"How would you know?" Radagast says with confusion, I walk up to them away from the dwarves.

"I know the future of this world Radagast." I say loudly before I begin to whisper. "Gandalf, you must hurry. Take a horse with with you. It's Sauron, regaining his power. He's weak at the moment, he's holding Thorin's father captive using one of the rings." Gandalf's eyes widen in shock.

"How-" Radagast says with wide eyes.

"Please Gandalf, that man doesn't deserve to die because you weren't fast enough." Gandalf bites his cheek, looking to his friend who whines. Not wanting to go back after he just escaped.

"Will you help me my friend?" Gandalf asks Radagast who sighs loudly, his shoulders slumping.

"Yes.." he says with a pout.

"You will meet Elrond at the secret pass. He'll be there with an orc hunting party after they've chased us in a moment. Groot will make sure the horses get to us safely." Groot nods his head waving at the wizards who look at him.

"Gandalf-" Radagast looks at Groot in awe.

"It is similar to an Ent my friend." Gandalf says to Radagast just as a Warg jumps from behind Thorin, launching at him silently. Holding my hand out I grab it using the branches of the trees, it whines loudly as I squeeze it to death with a scowl.

"Abominations.." The dwarves turn and their eyes widen, having not seen the Warg stalking. "Flowey." I call out to my son.

"On it!" Flowey pops under ground.

"Is that a wolf?" Bilbo asks in confusion, looking at the Warg's body that falls to the ground in a heap.. before being dragged underground by the roots of the tree.

"Wolf? No, that is not a wolf." Bofur says while gripping onto his axe with a frown.

"It's a Warg scout! Which means an orc pack is not far behind!" Thorin looks to me with shaken eyes, realizing that I am telling the truth. "Balin, when we're safe write up a contract for Ellen." He looks to his advisor who nods.

"Groot! Keep the horses safe!" I call to my son. Groot nods and begins to walk away quickly.

"Girl!" Thorin looks to me in shock at me taking the horses away.

"They're going to run off anyways. It needs to be this way, trust me Thorin. You need the elves to translate the map, if we go to Imaldris this way at least i will know what's going to happen!"

"Why can't you translate it!!" He bellows at me in frustration.

"Cause I remember the major plot points!" I grab another warg and spear it through. "I can't remember every fucking detail!"

"I’ll draw them off!" Radagast mounts his sled, all of his rabbits get ready.

"They are Gundabad wargs! They will outrun you my friend!" Gandalf says with worry and I mouth the next words.

"These are Rhosgobel rabbits. I’d like to see them try." Radagast winks at Gandalf before kicking the rabbits into gear and yelling. "Come and get me!"

Gandalf turns to us and adjusts his robe for running. "Come on! Stay together!" Gandalf rushes and we all begin to run.

"Thank fuck I hike for a hobby!!!" I say with a whine rushing after the dwarves. We sprint through the woods, I use my power to mask our trail. Growing pungent flowers across the trail to disguise the scent.

Exiting the forest we come across the Iceland countryside. "Why did they have to film in Iceland!" I curse as we hide behind a rock.

"Move!" Thorin grabs the two Ri brothers and pulls them back. I grab Ori just as he was about to trip and fall out of cover.

"All of you, come on, come on! Quickly!" Gandalf whispers as we rush to the next boulder. We all hide and I watch as Kili steps out and misses his fatal shot and the warg falls down whining loudly and gathering attention.

"The Dwarf-scum are over there! After them!" The hunter bellows loudly and we book it towards the hidden entrance.

I stand a good ways away as they lose Gandalf. Tossing my seeds to the sides of me, thick briars rise from the ground and I snarl at the orc fearsomely. The orcs look at me shocked. "This way! Quickly!" Gandalf bellows to the others.

"There’s more coming!" Kili says with fear as we all back up towards the entrance. My briars launch forward and grab Warg's. Squeezing them they burst in a splatter of viscera, throwing the corpses at others.

"BRING IT ON BITCH!" I yell with a cackle, my briars thrashing around and killing them indiscriminately.

"Where’s Gandalf?" Fili asks as he watches me decimate the orcs, some staying back out of the reach of my vines.

"He’s abandoned us!" Dwalin snarls out, holding his axe up.

"He hasn't!" I say while keeping my eyes on the orcs as they circle us. My vines poised to launch at any of them.

"Hold your ground!" Thorin bellows out, standing at my side with his axe. Ready to defend if they somehow get past.

"This way, you fools!" Gandalf pokes his head out of the hidden entrance.

"Come on, move! Quickly! All of you! Go, go, go!" Thorin pushes the dwarves into the hole, they all pile up on one another.

Hearing the galloping of hooves, I step back and wink at the orcs. My briars sucking back onto the ground as I disappear. Kili catches me before I hit someone, I blush a light pink. He smiles at me. Kili, you're hot and all.. but my heart yearns for an elf.

"Mama! You okay?" Flowey says from a ledge with a bit of dirt.

"I'm fine Flowey. Poke out and check." I look to my son who nods and disappears. I'm so proud of him.

"I cannae see where the pathway leads. Do we follow it or not?" Dwalin says with confusion, looking out at the only way forward.

"We follow it, of course! Not like we've got anywhere else to go!" Bofur says with a snort, walking forward. I shrug and follow along with a skip in my step.

"It leads to The Valley of Imaldris, or more commonly called." I smirk and point to Bilbo just as we past the waterfall.

"Rivendell..?" He says with awe, staring at the beautiful view. I stand along side him with a smile, taking pictures with my phone with a grin.

"Thank God I brought power banks." I say with a giggle, all the dwarves look at my phone with curiosity.

Chapter Text

Written: November 2nd, 2024

- Path to Rivendell -

"You think the Elves will give our quest their blessing Gandalf? They will try to stop us." Thorin speaks as we near the bridge that leads to the city. I stare at it with growing horror, having a fear of bridges.

"Of course, they will." Gandalf scoffs with a laugh. "But we have questions that need to be answered. If we are to be successful this will need to be handled with tact, and respect, and no small degree of charm, which is why you will leave the talking to me." Gandalf gives the dwarves a pointed look, with a wink. I snort out a laugh as I brim with excitement.

We step at the edge of the bridge, I begin to breath heavily as the dwarves begin to walk over it. Fili and Kili look at me in confusion when they realize I'm not coming. "Miss Ellen?" Fili asks with a tilt of his head.

Oin and Dori turn around when they hear them call my name. Oin holds up his horn. "Something the matter?" He asks loudly.

"I uh.. I have a fear.. of bridges..?" I admit with a grimace. Nori laughs loudly at this, smacking his knees. I glare at him with a pointed look. "I had a bad experience with a bridge once! It collapsed over a river and I was trapped in my car- the wagon on wheels? It was hard to get out and I almost drowned." I say with a frown. Kili's face softens and he steps up with a smile.

"Hold onto me okay? I won't let you fall over the edge." He offers me his arm and I cling onto it for dear life. I blush a light pink when I realize what I'm doing.

"T-Thank you Kili." I say with an exhale of relief.

"Why don't you tell us about this world of yours? What's it called?" Kili asks while slowly leading me onto the bridge, making sure that my eyes are locked onto him.

"It's just called Earth. No middle of anything, just Earth.." I mumble out while staring at him, trying not to look down. God we're so close!!! He smells nice too!!

"Tell me about the city you hail from." He nudges me on, Fili steps up on the other side of me.

"I hail from the town of Morrisville. A place where many merchants are. But the big city is Burlington, where most commerce is held.." i speak nervously.

"Such odd names." Fili says with eyes glinting with curiosity.

"What do you do for fun?" Ori pipes in with a smile, stepping up from behind me.

"I like to hike, exploring my great grandmother's property.. I enjoy just surviving in the wilderness, the silence of it all brings me peace. I trap small animals and sell their pelts, I also gather wild plants and sell them." I babble on, allowing my body to vent on my hype fixations.

"So you are a woods woman?" Bilbo falls back remaining in step with us, the dwarves crowding around me so I don't see the edge.

"In a way.. but when it's winter I enjoy the art of crochet." I say with a nod, smiling slightly at the thought of it.

"What's that?" Ori asks while holding a book with a piece of charcoal.

"It's like knitting, except with a single hook instead of two needles. You loop the yarn in on itself to create things... I like making stuffed animals for kids, the joy on their faces made me happy."

It continues on, me talking about my world and how it works. How my society is different then a monarchy. Thorin and Balin thought it laughable that I live in a democracy. The small group around me keeps me so distracted that I don't realize we're back on land. Kili lets me go with a smile and I look around, sighing with relief I fall to my knees on the grass. "LAND!! SWEET LAND!! HOW I HAVE MISSED THEE!" I cry out with tears in my eyes. A few of them laugh at my antics.

Lindir descends the steps with a look of confusion on his face, wondering what I am doing an why we are here. "Mithrandir...?" He asks his friend while looking at all of us.

I look up and I choke on spit. "Holy fuck that's a hot elf.." I whisper under my breath, the elf in question looks to me and I gasp. SUPER HEARING FUCK!!!!!!! LET THE EARTH SWALLOW ME WHOLE!!!! ILL GO PARTY WITH THE BALROG!!!! LET ME DIEEEE!!!!!!

"Ah, Lindir." Gandalf says with a sigh of relief, I hear Thorin whisper to Dwalin and I roll my eyes.

"We heard you had crossed into the Valley." Lindir speaks to Gandalf in Sindarin. (Authors Note: full sentences in italics will be in Sindarin unless stated otherwise.)

"Man, I wish I knew elvish. I only know a little." I huff out as we all watch Gandalf speak with Lindir. I had to pick fuckin Klingon to learn instead of Sindarin. Fuck sakes.

"I must speak with Lord Elrond." Gandalf says with a determined look in his eyes.

"My Lord Elrond is not here." Lindir shakes his head with a small frown.

"Not here?" Gandalf turns to look at me, knowing that I told him he would be on the hunting party, I raise a brow. Am I in trouble??? "Where is he?" A horn blares out and the sound of hooves in heard. We all turn around.

"Close ranks!" Thorin bellows and I'm suddenly squished against many dwarves... Although I'm standing over them.

"Guys.. I'm taller than you." I say with a sigh, we watch as the elf party surrounds us. I simply smile and ogle the elves. Smile and wave boys, smile and wave.

"Gandalf!" Elrond appears from the group with a smile, his horse trotting up.

"Oh damn." I say softly with wide eyes. HE'S HOTTER!!!! HOW?!!?! HE LOOKED KINDA MID IN THE MOVIE BUT HE'S HOT NOW??!?!?!

"Lord Elrond, Len suilon (I greet you (formal)). My friend! Where have you been?" Gandalf says with a beaming smile, leaning on his staff.

"We’ve been hunting a pack of Orcs that came up from the South. We slew a number near the Hidden Pass..." Elrond hops off his horse fluidly which makes me impressed. "It seems we need not however, many were already slain when we arrived. Blood and gore were all that remained." He says with a look of concern.

"Our newest member to our party is to thank for that. She is formidable with magic." Gandalf smiles and I squint, wondering what the fuck they're saying.

"Dammit, curse past me for not downloading a goddamn translator app!" I huff out while crossing my arms. The elves look at me in confusion, not understanding what I'm talking about.

"It is strange for orcs to come so close to our borders... Something or someone must have drawn them near." Elrond raises a brow to his friend.

"Ah, that may have been us. My apologies if we caused you any stress, my friend." Gandalf bows his head with a frown, apologetic in his tone.

Thorin clears his throat and steps forward with a strained smile. Putting on the political smile, ay Thorin? "Ah. Welcome, Thorin, son of Thrain." Elrond bows his head with a genuine friendly smile.

"I do not believe we have met...?" Thorin says with a squint of confusion, having never met this elf in his life.

"I recognized you from your grandfather's bearing. I knew Thror when he ruled Under the Mountain." Elrond says with a nod of his head.

"Indeed? He made no mention of you." I snort out a laugh, covering my mouth while I watch the exchange. Some elves look to me.

Elrond turns to another elf and speaks Sindarin to them. "What is he saying? DOES HE OFFER US INSULT!?!?" Gloin growls out, gripping his axe tightly in his hands.

"No Gloin." I say to the ginger dwarf who looks at me. "They're offering food if I remember correctly. Its no biggie." I say with a shrug and Gloin relaxes slightly after looking to Thorin who nods.

"I'll take yae word for it lass." All the dwarves huddle up around me making me squeak. I hear them all whisper to each other while Elrond stares with amusement. Gloin side eyes Elrond before whispering again. They all pull back and he sniffs. "Well, in that case, lead on." He nods with a shrug and I giggle again in amusement.

"I'm afraid I shall not make it for todays council my friend. I am needed elsewhere." Gandalf says as the dwarves walk away, I stick back and look at him. He gives me a nod and I nod back, walking back to the dwarves.

"Follow me please, I shall lead you to the guest chambers." Lindir says with a bow of his head.

"Thank you for your generous hospitality Mr. Lindir." I walk up to him with speed, a smile on my face.

"Lord Elrond is a generous elf... May I ask you a question my lady?" He looks to me as we walk down the hallway.

"Sure!" I nod with a smile.

"What is a child of man doing with a group of dwarves?" He asks with a tilt of his head of confusion.

"Offering my help in any way I can. I have abilities of the mystical variety." I say with a nod of my head, he squints with curiosity and nods.

"This shall be the lady's chambers, the gentleman may follow me."

"Oh! My names Ellen, pleasure to meet you!" I bow my head with a smile to him and he bows as well before leading the dwarves off.

Entering the room I stand in the doorway and stare at it with a grimace. Having not slept in a real bed for quite some time.. I don't want my body to get used to the luxury since I'll be on the road for a year. Im starting to not feel comfortable inside anymore... I'll take a bath and clean my clothes before making a bed out in the garden. I'm sure Elrond won't mind if I make it an exotic tree.

Nodding to myself I drop my pack and grab all of my clothes. Setting a clean set out on the bed I put the other dirty ones in the hamper. Walking to the bathroom I open the door and purse my lips. "Ah.. shit." I look at the tub contraption in confusion. Sighing loudly I walk forward and begin to figure it out with trial and error. Eventually getting a hang of it after a while.

I take a long hot bath with a smile, cleaning my hair and brushing it through with a comb I made. Using my own shampoo from the Awapuhi plant with some crushed lavender and rose water mixed in. Using some soap I made from a plant called the Soap plant to clean myself. Clean as a daisy.

Stepping out of the bathroom clean and fresh, I exhale with a smile. My wet hair drying naturally down past my shoulders. I squeak when I see a maid in my room. "Pardon the intrusion my lady." The elf woman bows and speaks.

"Uh.. Mae g'ovannen (well met)." I bow my head to her. "I'm sorry but I don't know much elvish." I say with a grimace, grabbing my pack I heave it back up onto my shoulder.

"I shall clean your clothes and return them to you." She curtseys and disappears with my dirty clothes.

"Well that was interesting.." I say with pursed lips. Shrugging I walk out of my room anf jump over the bannister straight into a garden. Finding a free area I plant a seed in the ground and let it grow some. I attach my hammock sleeping bag to the branches and attach my pack to another before allowing it to grow tall again.

"Ai! (Hey)" Hearing someone talk I turn and see an elf walking towards me. "Lord Elrond has prepared food for you and your companions. Please follow me."

"Oh, thank you." I smile and follow the elf along the winding halls. Memorizing my way back to my tree.

- Dinner Table -

Walking into the balcony with the long table I see Elrond at the head. "Ai! Na vedui. (Ah, at last)." Elrond smiles and beckons me to sit next to him where Gandalf would have sit. "Miss Ellen, correct?" Elrond says with a tilt of his head just as I sit down.

"Yes sir." I nod my head with a smile.

"Gandalf has told me of your abilities with plants.." Elves walk in and set the table with platters full of food.

"Yes I have the ability to create any plant I wish... I ah.. hope you don't mind but I planted a tree in your garden for me to use as a resting place. After being outdoors for so long, staying in a stuffy room doesn't feel right." I admit with a grimace.

"I understand. I enjoy nature as well." Looking at all the food, I grab some dishes I don't recognize and set them on my plate.

"C'mon Ori. Try it. Just a mouthful, you need to eat." Dori tries to make his little brother to eat. The young dwarf pushes his plate forward.

"I don't like green food Dori." He says with a frown.

"Where's the meat?" Nori asks with confusion, looking around the table.

"Gandalf could not make it to this gathering. He told me that you have the ability of foresight?" Elrond says before taking a bite of food. I hold my hand over my mouth and nod.

"Mhm. I know the set future. I want to help the line of Durin." I smile to Elrond and he nods in understanding.

"Gandalf told me that you collected Elvin blades within a troll hoard?" Elrond tilts his head and I nod.

"Thorin, can you show Lord Elrond your blade? He will be able to identify it." I say with a smile to the dwarf who scowls at me, before reluctantly giving the elf his new blade.

Elrond holds the sword in his hands and unsheathes it. Inspecting the writing on the blade with a smile. "Ah, this is Orcrist, the Goblin-cleaver. A famous blade forged by the High Elves of the West, my kin. May it serve you well in battle Thorin Oakenshield." Elrond hands the blade back to Thorin who nods putting his blade back on his hip.

"I know that Gandalf's sword is Glamdring from the stories, I'll tell him." I say with a shrug, Elrond looks puzzled when I say 'from the stories'.

"Glamdring? The Foehammer. The sword of the King of Gondolin." Elrond nods his head. "The swords you collected were made for the Goblin Wars of the First Age."

"So freaking cool!" I say with a squeal and smile, Elrond smiles at me with amusement. "I got a sword too." Grabbing my blade from my side, I unsheathe it and hand it to Elrond.

"Hm.. I do not recognize this blade, I'm sorry to say it does not have a name."

"Can I name it?" I ask with excitement, Elrond smiles and nods. "I bequeath thy name upon this sword as... My little friend!" I hear Kili and Fili try to hold in their laughs. "You're laughin now boys." I smile at them sinisterly. "Why don't you say hello to My Little Friend?" I giggle and their eyes widen slightly. "Menacing right?" I smirk and they nod reluctantly.

"I wouldn't bother finding a name on yours, laddie. Swords are named for the great deeds they do in war." Balin says to Bilbo who looks at the now unnamed Sting.

"What are you saying, mine and Ellen's swords haven't seen any battle?" Bilbo says with wide eyes.

"I'm not actually sure yours is a sword, lad. It's more of a letter opener, really." Balin says with a small laugh.

"Lady Ellen-" Elrond looks to me

"Just Ellen Lord Elrond." I say with a smile, cutting up my food.

"Then you may call me Elrond, Ellen." He smiles to me and I blush slightly at that. "Gandalf did not tell me where you found the troll hoard. Did you find any trolls?" He asks with a frown of concern.

"Three of them, I killed them all." I say with an indifferent shrug, not seeing the elves look at me with shock. "Where were we exactly Thorin?" I ask with confusion.

"The Great East Road." Thorin says with a deep gravelly voice, sending shivers down my spine.

I hear the dwarves continue to moan about no meat. "Sorry for interrupting but uhm Lor- Elrond, may I borrow your planter?" I point to the planter behind me and he nods. Grabbing some seeds from my pouch, I plant the seed and concentrate. Thinking of the bulb plant from Don't Starve and it's leafy meat it uses to trap.. without the eye bulbs..

Slowly the plant bursts from the ground, a huge green meaty steak hangs from the vine. Edible when raw. "By the Valar!" One of the elf servants says in shock. Grabbing the hunk of meat I pluck it from the vine, another quickly growing from its stem.

"This should taste like steak.." I hand it to Nori who grabs it from me tentatively.

"If it poisons me you're dead girl." He glares and I gulp nervously nodding my head. He drops it on his plate and cuts into it, taking a chunk on his fork he exhales before biting into it and chewing. His eyes widen and he looks to the others. "This is witchcraft!! It tastes like beef!!!" He looks to me in shock and I giggle with a smile. It worked!!

"I want some!" Ori bellows out with a whine.

"Me too!" Bofur says with a grin, clapping his hands together. Bombur nods eagerly.

"Me three!!" Kili says while raising his hand.

"No it's me!!" Fili says with a smack to his brother. I laugh at them and nod, quickly plucking another hunk. Handing it to the dwarf who passes it down. Making sure everyone gets a piece, letting them eat their fill.

Elrond touches the plants leaf, a small vine rises and touches his hand as he looks at it with curiosity. "This contains no animal meat?" Elrond looks to me and I nod.

"Completely vegan! Want to try it? It tastes just like beef, but all plant." Elrond nods his head and I hand him a steak. He cuts into it and takes a bite.

"Mhm, it has been some time since I have tasted this.." he says with a smile. "May we keep this plant?" He asks me with a tilt of his head.

"Sure! I can plant some more for you if you want!" I say with a smile to him, nodding my head.

"Thank you Ellen, I'm sure my people will be happy to eat meat in the off seasons.. Would you meet with me in my office? I shall speak with King Thorin after our discussion." He asks and I nod my head. Thorin nods as well I'm agreement.

- Elrond's Office -

Entering his office I marvel at the architecture with a smile. Elrond takes a seat and gestures for me to do the same. "Now, what were you all doing on the Great East Road?.. Thirteen Dwarves, a child of man and a Halfling.. Strange traveling companions.." he looks to me it's a tilt of his head.

"The company are heading to claim Erebor back from Smaug." Elrond's eyes widen in alarm, he goes to speak but I hold my hand up. Halting him from talking. "If we don't claim it from her dragon then the army's that the Dark Lord is preparing will." I frown, looking at Elrond with a grave expression.

"Army's? Explain please, how do you know this?" He looks to me with perplexion.

"I'm from another world where this one is a story, I know what's going to happen all the way up to Sauron's downfall." His eyes widen. "There are two huge army's that are growing as we speak to converge on Erebor to kill Smaug if we don't do it first. Erebor is the perfect control point for Sauron. He can turn it into a breeding factory and will be able to claim everything." I say with a grave voice, looking down at the floor.

"This.. this is grave news.." Elrond says with a deep shuddering sigh, running his fingers through his hair. He takes a breath before looking to me. "How can I help?"

"You want to help?" I say with shock, thinking he would still try to stop us.

"Sauron cannot gain control of Arda. It would mean the downfall of us all. How can I help you and the company." He looks at me with full seriousness... It's kinda hot honestly..

"Well uhm.. Can you send a message to King Thranduril? Let him know we're coming and that we need his help? If the army's come he will be in danger as well, regardless of Murkwood defenses. I'm going to have Thorin send his Dain a message to meet us with an army two days after Durin's day." I say while biting my lip.

"I see you have this all planned out, Ellen." He smiles at me and I blush a light pink.

"Well ah.. I can't take ALL the credit.. I had the help of millions of other fans of the story of this world Elrond. Im simply going through with it to save the people I care for." I smile to him with a shrug and he nods his head.

"I shall send a raven to Thranduril, you have my word. He shall help you, he owes me a favor." He bows his head. "I shall have all of your packs filled with provisions-"

"There's no need for any fruits or plant stuff. I can make food like that on the trail. But bread and cheese will be appreciated, I can't make that yet." I say with a soft giggle and he nods with a smirk.

"I shall do so.. allow me to go collect Thorin so we may speak." Elrond stands up and strides out of the room leaving me alone. I look around his office with curiosity while I wait.

A few minutes later Thorin arrives with Balin by his side, map held in hand. Elrond steps around his desk and sits down, Thorin an Balin remain standing. "Our business is no concern of Elves." Thorin says to me with a scowl.

"Thorin, do you trust me and my knowledge?" I look to him and he frowns at me. "I promise you, on my life that I will protect you and this company. I refuse to let any of you fall. Let me help you." I say to him with conviction and he sighs loudly. I unknowingly made a pact to the company.

"Do not lead me wrong seer.. or it is your head." He says with a heated glare and I sigh with relief.

"Aye aye sir." I give him a salute, Thorin hands Elrond the map with a scowl. Balin sighs softly with a frown as well, but knowing it needed to be done.

The elf takes the map and looks it over with an inquisitive look. "Erebor.." he looks to me with a slight smile, knowing i speak true.

"We need your help reading the moon runes." I clasp my hands together and he leans back.

"Moon Runes.. Well, in this case, the runes can only be read by the light of a moon of the same shape and season as the day on which they were written." He says with a sigh.

"Can you read them?" Thorin asks with pleading eyes hidden by a scowl. Elrond turns the map around and inspects the runes he's able to see.

"It appears that these runes were written on a Midsummer's Eve by the light of a crescent moon nearly 200 years ago. It would seem you were meant to come to Rivendell. Fate is with you, Thorin Oakenshield. The same moon shines upon us tonight." He smiles to Thorin who sighs in relief along with Balin. "Follow me, I shall lead you to the chamber."

- Moon Chamber -

Elrond stands at the huge crystal, placing the map on the hunk of rock. The moon shines through the clouds as we all stand behind him. Elrond clears his throat before reading clearly. "Stand by the gray stone when the thrush knocks and the setting sun with the last light of Durin's Day will shine upon the keyhole."

Thorin frowns at this news, staring down at the rock. "This is ill news. Summer is passing. Durin's Day will soon be upon us..." He looks to Balin.

"We still have time Thorin, there is nothing to fear." Balin comforts his friend with a pat.

"I wish you luck on slaying the dragon Thorin Oakenshield." Thorin's head snaps up in shock, looking at Elrond with wide eyes. "You need not fear, I shall not stop you on your quest. Gandalf has told me that your seer is reliable.. she has advised me to help you."

"How will you help us?"

"He's going to send a message to Thranduril, hopefully he'll allow us passage through Murkwood... And lend us his army." I say to Thorin who clenches his fists. "Thorin, I know you hate his guts because he abandoned your people.. But he had to look out for his own as well, that is the duty of a king.." not to mention his PTSD with dragons. "All we need to do to secure his army with thousands of years of experience.. is give him the gem necklace he commissioned from your family that was never delivered."

"Those gems are ours!" Thorin growls at me with a scowl, I scowl right back.

"No Thorin. No they aren't. Thranduril paid for them with jewels, but your grandfather was hit with the dragon sickness and kept them. Give him the jewels that are rightfully his, and I guarantee he will help us." I look to him with determination in my gaze that shocks him slightly. "You can take the jewels as my entire share of the gold if you so choose."

"I.. believe we should do as the lass says." Balin looks to his friend and Thorin exhales loudly.

"Fine. Once we begin contract negotiations, it will be stated that the jewels are your share." He scowls at me and I smile at him, overcome with glee and the urge to hug.

"May I hug you?" I ask and he looks at me in confusion.. but nods once. I giggle with glee and hug him tightly, wiggling with excitement. Thorin looks to Balin and an amused Elrond in alarm.

Chapter Text

Written: November 2nd, 2024

- Next Day -

Laying in my hammock, snuggled up with a smile on my face... Until I feel the tree move, my eyes open and I look over my hammock. Seeing a teenage human climb up my tree. "Can I help you?" I say and he screams, losing his grip from the shock and falling down. I will a branch to grab him, it snags his ankle and he hangs there with wide eyes. I gently correct him holding him up by his chest and lift him up to me. Setting him to sit on a branch.

"H-How?" He says in shock, looking at the tree as it holds him in my view.

"I can control plants. You must be Estel?" Mother fucking ARAGORNNN.

"yes.. I'm Estel.. how did you know my name?" He asks with a tilt of his head, eyes squinting at me.

"I'm Ellen, I'm a seer. I know of you future Estel and you will do great things." I yawn loudly and force the tree to lower me and him to the ground. I slide out of my hammock and crack my back with a grunt as the branches set Aragorn down. Patting his head with a branch.

"Heh." He chuckles softly looking at the tree. "Are you with the dwarves?" He asks with curiosity.

"Yes I am. I am the provider of food for the company. I make sure that Bombur the chef has enough ingredients." I smile at Aragorn grabbing my pack from a branch. I realize that I still have some candy with me. "Hey, You wanna try something?" I ask him mischievously, a twinkle in my eye.

"Like what?" Aragorn steps closer with curiosity.

"It's called a candy bar." I hold up my twix bar with a smile. "Wanna split it?" I wiggle it around in my hand while wiggling my eyebrows at him suggestively.

"Sure!" He smiles at me, I lower a thick branch so we have a place to sit. I rip open the packaging and hand him a twix. "What's this brown substance?" He asks with a tilt of his head, sniffing it cautiously.

"It's called chocolate. It's created from Cacao pods, take a bite." I urge him with a smile, wanting to see his reaction. He looks about 18 or so, he doesn't have his scruff yet sadly. Baby faced Aragorn is ugly.

Aragorn looks at it cautiously before biting down onto the bar, giving it a chew his eyes widen. "It's delicious!" He eagerly takes another bite.

"I'm glad you like it. I'll give the chefs the basic recipe to make it." I smile at him and he nods at me. I hand him the other half and he looks at me with confusion. "I'm afraid I'm needed elsewhere. I promised my friends I would speak with them this morning. It was a pleasure meeting you Estel... I hope I will see you in future." I hope I live long enough to see the party.. I give him a wink before walking off towards where the dwarves are camping out. Knowing Balin and Thorin are there.

- Library -

"Thank you for meeting with us, lass." Balin says with a warm smile, holding a contract in his hands as we all walk into the room and sit down at a table.

"Its no problem Balin, you wanted to talk about the contract?" I sit down on the other side of the table, scooting myself close.

"Yes, I've already written that your share of the treasure will contain the jewels of starlight. But what else do you want? Thorin feels that should you do an excellent job, you should be rewarded with another boon." I raise my brows in surprise at this, not expecting this of Mr. Grump himself.

"Well.. All I want is to be a citizen of Erebor once it's back in business. I would like to be an advisor if at all possible." I smile at him and Thorin rubs his chin. "I'm more then happy to do grunt work as well. With my plants, rebuilding Erebor will be easy! I can lift heavy stones with my vines." I continue to smile, happy to be of any help.

Balin looks to Thorin who hums while looking at me through his lashes. "That is doable." He nods and Balin writes it down on the contract with a flourish. "You have already saved my company once." He nods and I beam.

"You know of the dangers yes?" Balin asks me while sliding the contract over the table to read.

"Yes I'm fully aware of what I'm getting into. Possible death and incineration from dragon fire." I nod while playing with my fingers under the table. I read the contact quickly and nod in satisfaction, writing my name on the dotted line and my initials. Balin smiles and grabs it back.

"Pleasure doing business with you my dear." Balin stuffs the contract into his coat, giving it a pat while hopping off the stool.

"What do we need to do to get prepared for the journey?" I ask Thorin who looks me up and down.

"We need provisions that will last long periods of time. Elrond if providing it for us." He says with a grimace, not liking relying on elves.

"Okay, I'm gonna head to a blacksmith and ask them to take a look at my sword and knife. I don't know how to sharpen a sword.. only my paxel." I admit with a frown. I always had my grandpa sharpen it with the angle grinder.

"Paxel?" Balin asks in confusion as we all begin to walk out of the library. Away from Erestor who's stocking the books and listening with curiosity. Nosy elf.

"It's a Pickaxe, axe and shovel all in one." I say with a beaming smile. They look curious about that. "I gotta go! I'll see ya later!" I smile and run off to find a patch of dirt to get Flowey to give me directions.

- Blacksmith -

Approaching the building billowing smoke from the top. I take a breath to steady myself and step up to the door. We can do this. Boss bitch mode! "Excuse me..?" I knock on the door, poking my head in. My mouth goes dry when I see an elf I've been searching for.. Glorfindel. I can tell that it's him by his hair color. No other elf here is this fucking blonde. It's like spun gold!

"Yes- oh a child of man." The black haired smith says with wide eyes, I eye him up eagerly. Staring at his muscles on display. "Come in."

I step into the room. "Suilad (Greetings)" Holding my paxel and sword in hand, my knife in my pocket. "Sorry to interrupt, I ah.. Im having a conundrum.. I don't know how to care for my blade properly?" I say with a grimace gesturing to my sword. "I was wondering if you could show me how? I've never owned a sword before, only this knife." I grab my blade and flick it out shocking the elves.

"You must be Lady Ellen. Mae g'ovannen. I am Callon'nin." The elf smiles to me.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Callon'nin." I smile to him meekly. God he's hot.. oh my God his fucking muscles.. the barest sheen of sweat!

"May I?" He gestures for my sword and I nod, handing it to him. He takes it and inspects the blade closely. "Hm. Just needs a sharpen and it should be good for battle. Come, I shall show you how." The blacksmith walks away towards a bench, grabbing a small stone.

"You are the seer yes? The mistress of plants?" Glorfindel says with curiosity, u turn to look at him nervously.

"Oh uh. Yes I am." I nod my head, playing with my shirt with my free hand.. "And you are..?" I lean forward with a slight smile.

"My apologies, I am Glorfindel." Hah! Fucking knew it.

"Pleasure to meet you Glorfindel." I smile to him before returning my attention to Callon'nin.

"This is a whetstone. It is used to get the curled edges off the blades metal. You hold it like this and rub it across the blade like this." The blacksmith begins to demonstrate, rubbing the rock across the swords edge before handing it to me. "You try."

"Thank you." I grab the stone and adjust my paxel. Rubbing the whetstone against the axe portions head, I look at it for a moment. Adjusting my grip I rub the blade cross my arm and smirk when it shaved the hair off easily.

"That is a curious way to test it's sharpness." Callon'nin says with a raised brow. Damn elves and their lack of body hair.

"I learnt it from a woodcarver who taught people how to care for chisel's." I say with a smile remembering the Irish tiktoker whom I used to watch. "Thank you for teaching me how to properly sharpen a blade." I only knew the Japanese method of sharpening katanas..

"The stone is yours, here." He grabs a couple and hands them to me with a smile. "To care for your blade."

"Thank you Callon'nin." I grab them from him and shove them in my pockets. Thank God for big pockets

"No problem child... Do you have armor?" He asks me with a look of worry.

"No but I'm going to make some." I'm gonna make ironwood armor, I got the idea from terraria. I know the species with the hardest wood to make it out of!

"From what, may I ask?" Glorfindel asks.

"A type of tree native to a.. chaotic land... Where mammals lay eggs and  birds the size of a pony roam, bats the size of a small dog fill the sky!" Their eyes widen in shock.

"What is this land called?" A worker in the blacksmith area asks.

"Australia. The plant I'm going to use to make my armor is called the Australian Buloke. It's a type of ironwood tree, extremely hard to cut through." I puff out my chest, happy with my plant knowledge. God bless hyper fixations.

"Curious.. your land is odd Lady Ellen." Callon'nin says with a tilt of his head.

"You don't know the half of it.." I mumble to myself.

- Later -

Finding a free area in the garden. Crouching down with a grunt, I plant some seeds in the ground and concentrate. Tree saplings grow from the earth and begin to swell and shape themselves. Creating a chest piece that latches on the side with space to protect my tittys. The roots detach from the ground as I pick it up and curl under itself. I made a modification to it so it's similar to a cactus, holding water within itself until it's needed.

Putting my head in the hole I wrap the armor around my chest. The branches on the sides acting as the buckle latch into the grooves and pull it snug. I tug at it and it doesn't move, but it allows me free movement. The moss on the inside is nice as well. "What on middle earth are you wearing?" Bilbo says with wide eyes, having walked down the hallway heading towards the library.

"An armor of my own design! Want some?" I ask him with a tilt of my head. Bilbo leans against the railing and watches with curiosity.

Deciding to grow my helmet next. I focus on the main part of the helm, making it a fully encased helmet in the shape of a rams head scowling. Filling the eye cavity's with thin branches that will allow me to see through and get airflow. The eyeholes will hopefully protect me from arrows if I get shot in the face. I create long curled ram horns with eucalyptus wood which is colorful as a rainbow. It will add some pizzazz to it.

"Ehm.. I won't mind extra protection, maybe something light..?" He walks down the steps and over to me. "I can't hold much I'm afraid..." Bilbo gives me a small smile.

"Sure, what kind of theme do you want?" I make my legs next, making them similar to regular armor except they're shaggy with moss that mimics fur on the outside. Taking a point from Furrys and making the legs look anthro by adding extra wood in certain places. I plan on making the shoes like how Moonshiners used to in the prohibition. They would use cow hooves and glue them to their shoes to fool the cops. I'm gonna to Deer prints.

"Homey.. do you know what a smial is?" He asks me and I nod my head in affirmative.

"Yup! I think I've got a good idea. How about a ton of moss? It will help you keep warm at night and absorb any sweat. I altered them to do so." He hums for a moment before nodding his head in agreement. "Okay, stand here." I point in front of me and he steps where I pointed. I plant a seed and the tree grows around him.

"Ah- oh this is weird. Really really weird-" Bilbo squeaks out as the tree envelops him. "oh! No offense Ellen!" He mumbles out as the armor begins to form to his shape.

"Tell me when it's snug but not too snug." I slowly squeeze the wood around him, to get an accurate sizing.

"Stop!" I stop and release a little bit.

"How's that feel?" I ask with a tilt of my head, Bilbo moves around a bit and hums.

"It fits good." He says with a nod and smile, happy with now it moves. "How do I uhm.. take it off?" He asks me with a slight blush.

"Okay!" The roots detach from the ground and curl up back into the moss. "Knock on that little knot right there three times and it will unlatch." I point to the knot on the chest plate, he looks confused but knocks on it three times and the branches holding it closed release. Allowing him to remove it.

"Amazing!" He slides the armor off and inspects it with a smile. "Thank you so much, Ellen."

"It's no problem Bilbo I'm happy to help! The armor will also help you with camouflage." I give him a wink and he smiles. I turn back around and get back to work with my armor. Finishing off the boots and arms with glee.

- One Day Later -

Walking towards the trail where the others are waiting, wearing my full Iron Ram armor regalia. My sword attached to my hip and my bag on my back. Thorin looks to me with confusion. "Who is... Ellen?" He asks me with wide eyes filled with shock.

"Yes sir! Reporting for duty!" I give him a salute with a giggle of amusement and he looks confused.

"What are you wear... Why is the burglar wearing it as well???" He bellows out with wide eyes,. looking from me and Bilbo who's wearing a simple helmet and chest piece.

"It's natural armor!" I cackle with an unseen grin, altering the wooden mask opening its jaws to my face can be seen. "Made from an iron wood tree, incredibly hard to cut through. It also acts as.." holding my hand out, branches hidden in my sleeves launch out at them stopping before hitting them. Making some of them startle and grab their weapons. "A grappling hook!" I giggle with a smile of excitement. This power is so cool!!! The only limit is my creativity!!!

"Clever." Bofur says with excitement. "You have to show me how to make one!" He says with an eager nod.

"Sure thing! I know a bunch of cool stuff we can make!"

"Come, let us go." Thorin turns and begins to walk up the trail. "What do we face next Seer?"

"Hoards of orcs will be on our tail once we exit. We will make our way through a mountain pass where we must face Goblin town.'

"Why must we face the goblins? Can we not go around?" He looks at me with furrowed brows.

"No, something happens in Goblin town that will help us on our journey. Trust me." I look to Thorin and he sighs, shaking his head

"Fine. But what about our things?"

"My son Groot will go ahead with the horses filled with our stuff to the next challenge which will be Beorn the skin changer before venturing into Murkwood." I say while hiking up the path, relaxing in my suit while the wood walks for me. Man, now I know why Tony Stark likes his iron man suit.

"Skin changer???" Ori asks with confusion, not knowing the term.

"Its a person who can turn into an animal. Beorn changes his shape into that of a huge bear." My eyes glint with excitement at meeting the real life druid.

"That's not natural! He must be under some sort of dark spell!" Dori says with a scowl on his face, walking next to me.

"There's no dark spells Dori, he's the last of his race. His people were enslaved by Sauron.." i sigh softly with a frown, Dori's face turns into compassion real quick.

"Hmh... How long will it take to get to this Beorn's, Seer? After the Goblins?" Thorin asks me, turning to look at me from the corner of his eye.

"Nine months." He stops and turns to look at me in disbelief. "But, we should make great time with my help! I can make the trails easier to traverse. Cliff faces and the like won't effect our travel since I can lift us all over them." I say eagerly, wanting to be of help. Seeing the appreciation after I help them is like heroin to my brain. Damn you ADHD!!!

"Alright. We shall hold it to you to make our journey quick..." He says with a deep voice, ushering his men on. "Where are our horses now?"

"They should be just outside of this path here. My son Flowey gave Groot directions. He's been caring for them since we've been here, all of your things are still on them." Crap, what am I gonna ride..? I'll have to make a wicker horse or something... Maybe it can be a mule too?

- Top of path -

"Mama!" Groot calls out with a smile on his face, waving his arm. All the horses look up from where they're eating their carrots.

"Good job Groot!" I say with a smile after seeing all the horses here, proud of my son.

"No problem, mama! Groot happy to help!" He puffs out his chest, handing the horses off to the dwarves. Retracting his branches back into his hand, walking over to me.

"One second guys, I have an idea!" I crouch down to the ground and plant a seed, holding my hands over top of it. Groot watches in curiosity. From the ground bursts a horse made completely of interwoven branches and vines. Making it's center mostly hollow, allowing me to store my things inside of it. The saddle made of a thick bed of moss. The horse crouches down and I mount it easily, it rises back up. "You're gonna need a name.. How about.. Chestnut!" The horse nods it's head with the name, prancing around to let me know he approves. Thorin looks with curiosity.

"Mama, what Groot do?" Groot tilts his head with the question.

"Head back home buddy and get your siblings, start heading towards Erebor. Kill any Orc or Warg you see on the way." I say with a glare of hatred to those creatures.

"Okay mama! Groot do that!" Groot smiles and waves at the dwarves before sinking into the ground and following his brother back home. Leaving a hole in the ground that slowly fills back up.

I sigh loudly and look at the others. "Chestnut will lead the horses to Beorn's with Floweys help." I say to Thorin who nods to me once.

"Let us go!" Thorin says and kicks his horse into gear, Chestnut follows along dutifully with a snort of pollen out of his nose.

Chapter Text

Written: November 2nd, 2024

-  Mountain Pass  -

Rain pouring down upon us, I scowl as my moss happily drinks up it's fill. Hating the sensation of being damp, I take a deep breath to calm myself. "Prepare for a thunder battle!" I say loudly to them through the harsh rain and thunder, Thorin bellows to us and leads the way through the pass. Some of the dwarves looked shocked about the fact that there will be giants, but trust in me to be correct. I haven't been wrong about anything so far. We walk along the cliffside with haste. Wanting to get ahead of the battle before it starts, I keep my wits about me. Focusing on the others, my vines poised and ready to catch any who fall. Forcing my shoes to become sticky so I will have a harder time falling.

Ori trips and slides off the cliff with a scream. Dori and Nori yell out in alarm, trying to reach their brother. I throw my hand out and grab him with some roots poking out of the cliffside. Ori gasps loudly with fear in his gaze, I concentrate and strengthen the weak roots. Raising him up with a grunt of effort, Dori and Nori quickly grab their younger brother. Holding him tight in their arms, Nori looks to me with wild eyes with a single nod of thankfulness. I sigh with relief and wave him off, not needing his thanks to do the right thing. The mountain begin to move under our feet and everyone looks alarmed. "Hurry!!!" I scream out, Thorin increases the pace leading us against the cliffside.

My foot slips off of a rock and my eyes widen, Kili grabs me with a grunt and pulls me up. "Thanks!" I say to him with relief and he nods.. just as the giant begins to pull away from his mountain to stand. I see trees on the giants shoulder and get an idea to slow the battle down some, holding my hand out I groan exerting my power. My ability extending farther then I've ever pushed it, the trees slowly twitch and come under my command. I use the trees, lengthening them and making them stronger. Like long ropes I wrap them around the Giant and pin it down allowing us to run as fast as we can as it's busy pulling the plants off it's face. The other giant punches and throws rocks at it while we run.

"THERE!!!" Thorin yells out to us, we all slide into the cave and duck just as the giant kicks the other. The cave around us shakes slightly but we all remain whole.

I pant loudly, catching my breath. FUCK I HATE RUNNING!!!  "Is everyone alright?" Thorin asks with concern in his eyes, he walks amongst the group and inspects them. Counting each one of them to make sure everyone made it.

"Aye, we're whole Thorin." Balin says with a pant, his beard soaking wet. All of the dwarves looking like wet rats.

"Alright.. thank Mahal." He sighs with relief, holding a hand to his chest. "Seer, what is next on our quest? The goblins?" Thorin looks to me, wiping the water from his face.

"Yes, this cave is trapped. The floor will give out underneath us." I look up to him while my heart rate slows down. Thorin frowns at this, thinking that it would be better to just skip past this mountain.

"Must we be captured? What is it so important?" Dwalin steps in, crossing his arms. Looking at me with a squint of suspicion.

"Something is here that will lead to the defeat of Sauron in the future. When Gloin's son Gimli is a grown man." Gloin's eyes widen and he looks to me.

"My wee lad Gimli has a hand in defeating Sauron?" He says with shock and pride in his voice, a beaming grin on his face. Puffing out his chest in pride of the warrior his son will become.

"Yes. He joins a party of his own and forms the Fellowship.. that's all I can say. But we need to be here in order to get the item that's important." My eyes flick to Bilbo and he squints at me in confusion. Wondering why I looked at him when I said that.

"We shall rest, until the goblins wake us. Keep your things on you." Thorin looks around to the group and they all nod in affirmative.

"I'll make sure they don't steal your weapons." I nod my head with a warm smile to them, running my fingers through my hair. It's slowly drying as the moss sucks up the water. I huff out and find a good place against the wall, laying against it to get some sleep. Kili and Fili sit on either side of me.

- One Nap Later -

My eyes open when I hear a noise a scratching and clicking sound, Thorin who's sleeping near me hears it as well. his eyes widen and he becomes alert in a second. "EVERYONE UP!" He bellows just as the floor below us gives way and we all fall down into the tunnels. Sliding down them we hit the ground in a pile, Bilbo crouches down as we're all lead through the tunnels. Being pushed by goblins with spears. Holy shit it stinks in here! My god!

We're all pushed into a room, the goblins holding us at spear point. I scowl at them through my mask, clenching my fists at my sides. Thorin and me stay in the center, crouched down so we remain unseen. I look through everyone's shoulders and see the goblin king and I nearly gag at the sight. The goblin king sits up on his throne with a scowl, his bloated belly jiggling. "Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom? Spies? Thieves? Assassin's!?" He shakes his jowls with his accusations, eyes manic and wild.

"Dwarves your malevolence!" A goblin sucking up says with a smile, rubbing his hands together.

"Dwarves?" The goblin king leans forward and I scowl hidden behind Dwalin. "Well?? What are you doing! Search them!! Every Crack every crevice!!" Alright, time to be a badass.

Standing up tall I speak in a deep regal voice, mimicking the English voice actor for Ainz Oowl Gown. "Not so fast, fatty." Briar vines erupt form the ground and surround us with a thought which shocks me cause I didn't plant them. All the goblins scream in fright, one of the goblins in the chaos see Thorin and begins to write before scurrying off. Shit.

"What is this?!??! Sorcery?!?!??" The goblin king bellows with fear, leaning back in his seat. Unable to run due to his immense weight.

"I am Triffid, fear my name and know it well. Scum." I speak with power in my voice. Dang acting evil is hella fun. "Your reign ends today." I point to the goblin king, my eyes glowing green within my mask. "Die." Briar vines launch from my armor and pierce through the king's chest, he screeches horribly as blood gushes from him. Falling backwards on his throne, I force my vines to drill making him screech in agony as they blend him from the inside. The goblins all cry out, backing away in terror. "Let us leave." I growl out to them and they nod. "Thorin, lead the way." Thorin nods and we begin to sprint through the tunnels, I use my vines to smack goblins off the pathway to clear our way.

Panting loudly while running through the dark musty cave system. Kili at my side, shooting his bow behind us at the goblin guards. We all fall down a chasm and land safely thanks to me creating a puffball mushroom to cushion us. The spores grow similar to seeds, sprout in the air. Creating a huge net above us, catching any goblins who try and follow from above. I smirk at this. "Flowey!" I call to my son and he pops up. "Guide Bilbo outside." He nods and disappears, disappearing in the dirt.

Rushing down the hall, we all soon arrive outside and I pant hard, my mask opening. "Fuck, I hate running!!!" I groan loudly my calves feel like they're on fire, but I know there's more running to come soon.

Thorin walks through the group and does a headcount, frowning when he's missing a number. "Where's the burglar??" Thorin looks around in alarm, clenching his fists. "He's left us!"

"No, he got separated. My son is leading him to us." I catch my breath with a scowl on my face, standing back up with a grunt. "Get ready to run again, guys.."

After a moment Bilbo appears with Flowey by his side. "Found him mama!" Flowey points to the Hobbit with a smile using a leaf, I sigh in relief letting my body relax for a moment. Hearing the sound of howling in the distance I curse under my breath. "No time to rest, run!" I burst into a sprint, Flowey leading the way for me. I hear Warg's in the distance and scowl, starting to really hate those dogs. The company hot at my heels, I provide cover for Kili and Fili with my vines.

After sprinting full speed for a good eight minutes, we make it to the cliff face. Thorin looks to me in confusion, wondering why I lead them to a dead end. I grab a hand full of seeds and toss them in an arc. Creating a thick wall of Briars that writhe, ready to slice into Orc flesh. "Keep them busy! I'll make our escape!" I rush to a clear area and plant a fist full of seeds in the ground. Closing my eyes I concentrate. Thinking of a bird made of light weight plants that can fly us all to safety. One of the huge eagles but made of plants!!! Everything fades as I concentrate, the sounds muffling as the seed sprouts underground with my command.

A second later it bursts from the ground, growing into an egg like shape that unfurls. Revealing a plant chick that looks like the bird from A Bugs Life. It slowly begins to grow and gain size. I hear the Warg's begin to fight against my briars. I look back and curse when I see the dwarves fighting off the orcs like the undead at a fence. "Come on baby, you gotta grow!" I urge the little bird that is the size of a dog now. It cheeps at me with a smile.

"The Pale Orc!!!" Thorin bellows with a snarl, I look back with alarm. Dammit!

"Be careful!!!" I scream to him. My briars kill and slice through orcs that dare venture close, they're covered in a thick layer of blood now. Many orcs injured and some lay dead.

The bird grows to a good height and looks around, thick vines all across its stomach that will help us get on. They look similar to plumage. "Guys! I've got our ride!!!" I yell out to them, seeing Thorin fight Azog I groan. Urging my plants to focus on him, I flick my finger and one of my briars launches and cleaves through the head of his mount.

Another flick and I knick his already injured arm, the orc bellows out as he fights Thorin. "WE GOTTA GO!!!" The dwarves begin to pull back with my urging, the vines grab them all snugly to the birds chest. I am grabbed and the bird looks to Thorin who looks injured, covered in blood. "Grab him!" I order my bird, it shrieks and fly's into the air, a vine launches out and picks him up. Thorin bellows out in anger, wanting to kill the pale orc once and for all.

Holding a hand out with a scowl I focus my power, while Azog's backs turned I spear him through with my briars. Piercing through his stomach I smile sadistically while the bird fly's us away. The orc looks down at his chest in surprise before I'm unable to to see him in the distance. "You.. you injured him." Thorin says with a pant as he hangs from the birds chest.

"Of course. I want that bastard dead." I say with a huff exhausted from all the fighting I've had to do. Running on fumes. "Everyone rest up, we'll be closer to Beorn's soon.

- Hour's Later -

After a while the bird lands and sets us all down in a huge clearing in the woods, I dismiss it back into the soil. "Why can't we ride it to Erebor?" Thorin asks me with a furrowed brow.

"Because we have to go through this. If we deviate from the plot I wont know what will happen, Thorin." I sigh loudly, running my fingers through my hair. Giving it a tug to ground myself. "Trust me okay? It needs to happen like this so I will have some control of the outcome. Or we'll be flying blind." Thorin sighs loudly, nodding his head to me.

"Fine.. can you make us a shelter so we may rest?" He asks me and I nod bending the tree branches around us to make a roof to protect us from the rain.

- Three Weeks Later  -

The sound of feet thundering on the ground is all that can be heard.. and the mangled screams of orcs. I sprint full speed, killing Orcs and Warg's and overall fucking them over as we sprint through the woods. The branches of the trees acting as guillotines for the Warg's.

Kili shoots his bow along with me, knowing I'll refill his arrows for him later. Seeing movement in the corner of my eye, I stop my attack when Beorn appears with a roar. Mauling the Orcs and Warg's that managed to evade. "What is that?!" Fili yells out in disbelief.

"That was Beorn! We're close!" Looking ahead I see Flowey pointing. "Follow me!" I yell to them and follow after Flowey through the woods. We soon come out into an open field, the shifters house in the distance.

We all see our horses in the distance and I sigh with relief. We all rush to the barn and enter, closing the door behind us. I sigh loudly once the door is barricaded. "Alright.. We wait till tomorrow." I wipe the sweat from my brow, the moss sucking it up.

Bifur speaks out with a frown, his brother Bofur translates for him. "You didnta say he would be so big!" Bifur nods with a huff, Bofur nods along with what his brother said.

"He's a huge man.." I say to Bifur with a small smile and shrug of indifference. "Let me handle him okay? Ill do all the talking, charming and bribing.. He doesn't like dwarves much." All of the dwarves scowl at that and I shrug again with a grimace. Feeling the stress of the situation get to me somewhat.

"Are you sure you can handle this, Ellen?" Balin steps up and asks me with worry. I look over the group with a soft smile, happy they're safe and healthy. The entire group looking healthy from me feeding them regularly over the months. Better then they would have been in the movies... That's for sure.

"I'm positive. I plan on bartering for our stay here to rest, I plan on asking him to care for our horses while we venture further as well." I take off my helmet with a sigh, shaking my hair free.

"Best we get some sleep." Thorin says with exhaustion clear on his face. The Orcs found us on week two and have been attacking us every fucking night and wake us up, forcing us all to fight them. We've been running on fumes for a while now. Laying my sleeping bag down, I take off my armor and let it place its roots in the ground to rest. Seeing it perk up happily with the nutrient dense soil of the barn. Sighing once more, I slide into my sleeping bag and fall to sleep. Happy I lined it with the soft moss and Cotton.

-  Morning  -

Hearing the sound of chopping wood, I groan getting up from my sleeping bag. A face of aggravation etched onto me, angry at being woken up. I look around the area and see Thorin at the window watching the Shifter chop wood with hidden anxiety. "Alright.." I rub the sleep from my eyes and grumble to myself. "I'm gonna talk with him, when I give you this signal." I hold my hand up in an okay pose. "Send out two dwarves okay..?" I say with a voice thick with sleep. Getting up and out of my sleeping bag, I adjust my clothes with a sigh.

"I place my faith in you, Ellen." Thorin looks me up and down with a nod. Taking a deep breath I exit the barn slowly and cautiously.

Walking towards Beorn down the pathway I let my presence be known. "Pardon me?" Beorn looks up from his wood with a scowl.

"Who are you an why have you broken into my home." He chops another log down on his stump with tremendous force, I flinch at that. Gulping nervously praying that he wont hurt me..

"My name is Ellen Paige and I am with the company of Thorin Oakenshield. I-I apologize for taking over your barn sir, I fully intend to pay you back in apology.. You see we have been hunted by Orcs constantly for a good while now and we needed safe refuge, Gandalf the grey told us of your home... I thought he would have told you of our arrival." I explain to the shifter nervously, playing with the end of my shirt.

"Hmph, Gandalf." Beorn shakes his head with a huff, a scowl on his face. Beorn grits his teeth in displeasure, sneering down at me. "How many dwarves are you hiding in my barn?" He side eyes me with clear displeasure.

"T-Thirteen sir." He glares at me with hate, finding a dwarves greed disgusting. Clenching his fists at his sides, I gulp loudly. I need to sweeten the deal. "I-I have the ability to control plants life?" I say and he raises a brow at this. "I can offer you plants that you have never seen before in exchange for us using your land... And maybe some honey?" I say with a pleading look in my eyes, clasping my hands together pleadingly.

"Prove that you have this power and maybe. If you lie to me girl I won't hesitate to end you all." He tossed his axe back into the stump and I slump slightly.

"Alright.." Crouching down I grab a seed from my pocket and plant it in the soil. Focusing my thoughts, the plant begins to sprout. Quickly growing into a tall banana tree almost instantaneously, Beorn stares at it in awe as it grows it's fruit. "This is the seedless variety of a tropical fruit known as a Banana, seedless ones are easier to eat." The tree bends down at my command and I pluck a small bundle, demonstrating to the shifter how to open it. Taking a bite of the banana, I offer him one nervously. "T-They are a good source of potassium, they also make delicious bread when they're over ripe." Beorn takes a banana from me and peels it. Tossing the peel to a goat nearby, he takes a bite of it with hesitance.. and his eyes widen a fraction.

He chews for a moment in thought while staring at me. He swallows and hums, inspecting the fruit closely before looking to me again. "I want a unique plant per dwarf.. and you have a deal." He says with a huff, still displeased about the situation.

"Thank you mister Beorn." I bow to him in thanks sighing loudly in relief. My shoulders and entire body sagging, holding my hand up I give the signal. Bifur and Bofur walk out nervously. "This.." I  drop a seed from my pocket and it burrows into the soil. Quickly growing some shampoo ginger. "Is a plant that makes usable shampoo by squeezing it and harvesting the liquid. it cleans the hair very well, I like to add flower petals to mine to make it smell good" Beorn crouches down and hums, grabbing the plant he gives the flower a squeeze and inspects the goo that it creates. He sniffs it loudly and looks to me with a nod.

"Smells pleasant.." he mumbles and I smile with relief and nod.

I continue to give him plants, after every two dwarves come out. Most of them from dry climates and even some ah.. video games ones... He now has Piranha plants guarding his home as well as pea shooters from plants versus zombies to deter pests. Along with Avocados, Cacao trees, non stinky durian, Aloe Vera, Prickly pear cactus, Chamomile and other tea trees. As well as healing herbs from the resident evil games. But he's more then happy. "I have another request."

"Hm?" He looks to me, eating a seedless avocado I made.

"Can you care for our horses? We no longer need them since we're venturing into the Murkwood." I explain to him while playing with my fingers.

"I shall care for your horses, in exchange for one more plant." He bites into another avocado, finding the thing delicious.

I sigh softly, thinking of what I can plant him.... "How about.. a friend to help with gardening?" I snap my fingers and tilt my head. He raises a brow, I drop a seed to the ground and it burrows into the soil. Making Wormwood from the Don't Starve games. The plant monster comes to life shaking his head clean of dirt. He smiles at me. Beorn inspects the creature with heavy emotions in his eyes. "Beorn, this is Wormwood. Wormwood this is your-"

"Father." Beorn says while looking at the plant child who beams at him, Wormwood gets up and runs over to Beorn. Hugging his leg with a smile. "I.. thank you, your horses shall be safe with me. Take as much honey and cheeses as you need." He looks to me with a small smile.

"No problem. Wormwood will learn to speak from you." He nods and puts his full attention on his new 'son'. I sigh with complete relief, giving the signal to the dwarves who exit the building.

Chapter Text

Written: November 3rd, 2024

- Next Day -

"Why did nobody tell me this was so fun???" I ask Beorn with a huge grin on my face. Milking a huge goat that lazily grazes on some cabbage I made for her.

"You are an odd child of man, Ellen." Beorn says while watching over me as I milk away.

"I was odd where I come from too, Beorn. Like they say in my homeland, I'm Built Different." I say with a smug smirk to the man, feeling the goat doesn't have anymore milk. I heave the bucket away before giving it a pat on the tushy, it looks to me before walking away.  "What's next?" I ask setting the milk on a stool, loving helping people.

"I need to check on my hives. You may help me if you wish, create more flowers for my bees." I nod my head and follow after Beorn while he strides over to the chicken coop size hives. The bees the size of Chihuahuas.

Grabbing seeds from my pocket I look around and analyze which flowers there are and toss the seeds wildly. Chaos gardening. Even adding some of the healing plants over here to give the honey healing properties. I freeze when I feel a HUGE bee land on my shoulder. "Please don't sting me mister bee." Plucking a flower I offer it to him and he eagerly shoves his head inside. Covering itself in pollen, brushing it all back down to its thighs with its feet combs.

"Fascinating..." I whisper, reaching out to pet the bee. "You are adorable." I say with a smile, another bee joins in and lands on my head. The bees seeing the new flowers fly over with excitement. "Hehe, you're all welcome." I pet the bee on my head and walk towards a clear area. Tossing more and more seeds until I only have a few left.

"Crud. I need more seeds." I sigh and scowl at my almost empty seed pouch. Quickly walking back to Beorn's the bees fly off of be and return to collecting pollen, I walk in his yard and I toss the seeds I have left down and create a papaya tree. I checked my plant guide book and it said that it has the most seeds per fruit than any other plant.. Plus I get yummy fruit to eat! Grabbing the fruit I pull it from the tree and pull my grandpa's knife out of my pocket. Cutting into the fruit I rip it in hand and harvest all the seeds. Tossing them all in my bag. It's a lot easier to harvest and I have a free snack!

"What have you made me now, Druid?" Beorn walks over and looks at the tree I just grew.

"Papaya. I'm just taking the seeds, I need them to use my magic or whatever it is. You want to make jam from the fruit?" I ask with a tilt of my head, looking up at the giant of a man.

"Sure, why waste what you have grown." He walks away and grabs a huge bucket, handing it to me. "Put it in here, what doesn't fit, feed to my animals."

"Sure thing!" I nod and begin the process of filling up my seed pouches, tossing the fruit into the bucket until I have twenty seed pouches full. It will last me a good while before I restock.

-  Beorn's Barn  -  Later  -

Smiling wide I giggle as the baby calf sucks on my fingers with a soft moo. "Silly little baby."  Kili stands nearby leaning against the doorframe watching with a slight smile on his face, his brother shoulder bumps him and he nearly face plant's. Kili glares at Fili who laughs, gaining my attention. "Oh, hey guys." I smile at them and Kili's cheeks turns a soft pink.

"What are you ah..." Kili asks me nervously, stepping forward hesitantly rubbing his hands together. Fili looks at the two of us before smirking, stepping out of the room.

"I love baby cows, they're adorable." I say while petting the baby who licks at my arm, wanting the salt off of my skin. Kili leans down at my side and pets the cow as well, his eyes flicking to me every so often. His cheeks a light pink, he clears his throat. "You okay Kili?" I ask him with a tilt of my head. Does he wanna talk or something?

"Oh uh. Yeah I'm fine.." he says nervously. "I uhm... Was wondering.. once the quest is all over.." he stares at the cow.

"Hm?" I look to him and give him my full attention.

"Would you possibly.. accept my bead..?" He asks me nervously, his face fully aflame and bright red. Bead...?

"What..?" I stare at him in confusion.

"Oh uh.. I'm asking you to court me? A-After the quest is d-done.." He stutters out nervously, momentarily forgetting I was from another world.

"Like dating?" I say with a squint and he looks just as confused. "Uh, courting is different in my world. You're going to have to explain how it works here, Kili." I stand up and wipe my hands, cleaning them in a bucket with some soap root I always keep on me.

"Basically, I would present you with gifts to win your affection.. spending time with you.. then.. when I'm sure you feel the same.. I give you my bead, braiding it in your hair... It signifies that you're courting me officially and we're on the road to marriage." Kili explains while avoiding looking at me, I blush a light pink at this. HES ASKING TO DATE ME?!!?!!??!! BUT- BUT- SEXY ELF??? BUT SEXY DWARF???? FUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!! I mentally scream in anguish as I stare at him, gulping nervously.

"Am.. am I free to court others before you give me your bead?" I ask him tentatively, slowly raising a brow. Needing to know if I can shoot my shot with Legolas.

"Y-Yes.." Kili says with a grimace, looking up at me through his lashes. Not wanting to think about me with another man. I chuckle at him with a smile.

Leaning forward I kiss him on the cheek, he chokes on his spit and blushes a bright red once more. Oh he's adorable. I could eat him alive. "You're cute Kili, sure." I smirk at him and he exhales shakily.

"I- tha- uh.. th-that's great!" He smiles at me full of relief. I giggle softly and his smile softens, enjoying hearing my laugh.

"We should probably.." I gesture outside and he nods, hopping up from his seat. He rubs his hands, still blushing adorably. He walks out of the room with a beaming smile, giving his brother a thumbs up. I walk out and see Fili jumping from joy for his brother. This makes me laugh under my breath. Well, I better get ready. I'll have Chestnut carry all of our things so they're safe. "Chestnut!!! C'mon Nutter Butter!!!!" I call out to my horse with a loud whistle. Knowing the horse plant will be able to leave the heard since it's merged with Beorn's own. Chestnut runs across the field full speed, faster then a normal horse since it lacks the restraints of flesh. "Hey bubba, I'm gonna need your help carrying some things. You're gonna have to turn into a Clydesdale's shape." I lead the horse towards the house and where the dwarves unpacked their things from the horses. Chestnut snorts at me right in the face, the smell of flowers fills my senses and makes me smile. Lilacs, my favorite.

"Ellen?" Thorin looks up from where he's packing with the others. Having sent Kili and Fili to search for me.

"I want everyone to stow their things in my horse. He will keep them safe and it he and travel across anything." Thorin looks to the smaller horse that's put down roots and is growing in shape right before his eyes.

"Alright. This will help greatly." He bows is head to me and stands up with his pack. Walking over he stows it inside the horse who moves it around inside with small branches. Keeping everyone's things separate. "Everyone! Put your things inside the Seer's horse creature!" Thorin bellows out and all the dwarves look to me with a nod.

-  Dusk  -

After borrowing Beorn's horses to make the mad dash to the forest. Releasing them free and letting them loose back to their master. Chestnut is the only one who stays, it's flowery tail whipping about. The creature heavy with our items, a thick bed of moss and interwoven branches covering its outer shell to act as water protection.

"You said Elrond sent a message to the Murkwood King.. are you sure he will send us guides?" Thorin says, stepping up beside me and crossing his arms.

"Hopefully.. But we may have to travel deeper inside the woods to see... Its dangerous in the forest, I suspect there is hallucinogenic mushrooms or something.. You all go insane and lose your way in the story.." I bite my lip in thought, worrying it as I think hard.. Then I get an idea! "Here, I have an idea to keep us all together. Let's do a system that mountain climbers do." I urge all the dwarves to come close and gather around. I drop a seed and grow a long thick branch of wood, using my abilities I wrap it around each of us until we have a tether. They won't be able to remove it so it should be safe. "This will keep us close together. The dark magic that plagues the wood will cloud our minds if we stray from the path."

"Everyone! Keep your wits about you! Ellen, I believe you should walk with someone. You cannot see in the dark like we dwarves can. It will be too dark for you during the night." It will be pitch black in there, more then it already is... Shit, and I cant make a fire or torch because the bugs in there attack the party in the books from what ive seen in fanfiction..

"I'll help her!" Kili volunteers happily, excitement in his eyes.

"Okay, if you think so.. We won't be able to have fires in the forest either, a swarm of bugs will descend.. guess I'm flying blind.." I adjust the vines and move so I'm beside Kili. He smiles at me nervous with a blush.

"Don't sorry, I'll make sure you won't fall." He whispers to me and I blush myself, wrapping an arm around me to help guide... We set off. Chestnut stays the back of the group following along with us as we venture into the forest.

Only a few steps in and it's already hard to see, I nearly stumble a few times but Kili catches me. "It's okay, I've got you.." Kili whispers hotly against my ear and I squeak, not seeing a slight smirk.

We march along the path, me clinging to Kili for dear life.. he.. he smells really fucking good. Like jesus Christ. I rest my head on his shoulder and he stiffens slightly with wide eyes. "How about a story?" I say out into the darkness to my friends. "I can share a tale of my land? Walking in silence is killing me."

"Sure I wouldn't mind a tale!" Bofur says with a hidden grin.

"Okay let's see..." I tap my lip in thought. "Ah, how about the little mermaid!" A bunch of the dwarves grumble and I look around confused. "What's wrong?"

"Bloody mermaids... Vicious beasties. Lure men and woman alike by pretending to drown. You try to help them then they bring you to their lair and use your body as a brood chamber for their eggs." Bofur explains from in front of me. Holy shit that's metal as fuck.. like imagine Ariel doing that..

"Well, in this story they're passive. It's about a mermaid princess named Ariel who sells her voice to an evil sea witch named Ursula, to gain legs to go after a man she thinks she's in love with just because she finds him attractive." I tell them my version of the story. Its the way I thought about it logically when I was a kid. I don't understand love at first sight, it doesn't exist. its merely infatuation.

"Wha? There's no way!" Fili says with a scoff. "No Dam would fall in love with a dwarf just for his looks!"

"Oh yeah, I know. I grew up with the story and I was just as confused. I didn't even find Prince Eric attractive, the Beast from the beauty and the beast story was more attractive then him." I scoff with a roll of my eyes.

"Beauty and the Beast?" Kili asks from beside me gently leading me over a log, helping me so I don't trip... I get flickers of some sort of sight every now and then. Kind of like how Daredevil see's in the 2000's movie adaptation. Like Morbius' echo location thing... but plants..? I see the outline of the dwarves I think..

"A, ah.." I get myself out of my train of thought and back to the story. "A young boy was cursed when he turned an ugly witch away from his home during a fierce blizzard while he was having a lavish party. She was angered at this and transformed him into a huge fuzzy monster, changing into a beautiful woman she tells him basically 'find someone to love you as you are or you die when the last petal of this rose falls.' then gives him a magic rose. Transforming all of his servants into furniture so he isn't alone." I explain the story the best I can with a grimace, hoping im not forgetting anything.

"Why would he turn the woman away?" Ori asks from the middle of the group.

"Because Ori, Humans are wastes of space." I huff out with a scowl, hating humanity and its greed. "But, on with the story. It takes him years but the main protagonists father accidentally stumbled into the beasts castle after being attacked by wolves and his horse run away. He enters the beasts home and is imprisoned. The horse he was riding runs back to Belle and leads her to the beasts castle. She's an idiot like her father and enters the Castle, trading her place with her father."

"She's a brave woman, sacrificing herself for her da." Dwalin pipes up with a smile hidden in the darkness.

"There's something that happens to a humans mind when they're held captive. It's called Stockholm Syndrome, our brains begin to view our captor in a different light after a period of time. Trusting him and basically loving him. This is what happens to Belle. She kisses the Beast and he transforms back into a prince, the curse is broken."

"That can happen??" Dori says loudly.

"It's happened many a time to humans. It's a survival mechanism." I say with a nod of my head. I feel Kili stop and look at him with confusion.

"We shall rest here for the night. Ellen, can you create a shelter?" Thorin asks me and I frown.

"I can try..? Let me try and grow some bioluminescent moss!" I say with a nod, Kili helps me down to the ground. I toss some seeds out and slowly a small patch grows, glowing dimly. I wait silently for signs of those bugs but nothing comes. "Okay, this should be enough. Everyone come close. Huddle up!" Everyone walks over to me and groups up together.

Closing my eyes I rest my hands on the soil, feeling the roots and trees around me. With a soft hum the trees begin to creak and groan, forming a protective hut around us. After a minute I open my eyes and am able to see with glowing moss spread on the walls. "Who's hungry? What do we want for dinner?" I clap my hands and look to Bombur. "I can create a flower that you can use as a heat source to cook Bombur?"

"Ooo yes please." He nods eagerly, grabbing his pot from Chestnut.

I toss a seed down and a fire flower emerges, emitting heat from it instantly. Bilbo sighs and walks up to it, warming his hands on the flower. "This is nice. What's it called?" Bilbo turns and asks me.

"Fire Flower. Nothing fancy, it's not native to my world." I admit with a shrug, reinforcing its stem with wood so it wont be crushed under the weight of the heavy pot. The flower tilts itself so its face is upwards, allowing Bombur to put the pot there if he wants to.

"Then how did you make it?" Kili asks with a tilt of his head.

"Its from a story. It's also how I was able to make Flowey and Groot.. Speaking of, Flowey?" I call out to my son, hoping he's nearby.

Flowey pops out beside me, shaking the dirt from his petals. "Yes mama?" He looks to me with a smile.

"Can you keep an eye out for the elves?" I ask him and he nods.

"Sure thing mama! I'll let ya know if they come!" He gives me a salute with his leaf before dropping down into the earth again.

"Do you have some water, Lady Ellen?"  Bombur asks me with a raised brow.

"Uh... I can make coconut water?" I say with a squint quickly growing a mini palm tree. Plucking a coconut off of it, I grab my axe and smash into it. Ripping off all of the husk before cracking into it with the back side of my axe. Once its cracked open, water trickles out on the floor. I hand him the coconut to taste.

Bombur grabs the coconut and looks at it with curiosity. He sips the liquid and hums while nodding his head. "Aye, it will do. Thank ya lass. Could ya make potatoes, carrots and some of that leafy meat? I can provide the rest. You boys, get cracking I need this pot full of that water." He points to Kili, Fili and Nori who all sigh getting to work.

"Yes chef!" I nod and toss some seeds creating the plants he's asked for. Dwalin steps over and helps me pull them out of the ground much to my shock.

Balin steps up and harvests some of the leafy meat, having it to Bombur. "Save the shells of those coca nutts. They should make mighty fine bowls!" Bombur says while he washes the potatoes in a smaller pot. Peeling them and handing them off to Oin to cut and toss in the pot.

"I can scoop em clean and burn off the fiber." I offer with a smile, grabbing one of the shells and my paxel. Using my shovel portion to scoop out the meat. "Here try some." I hold it out to Kili who blushes, opening his mouth I place it on his tongue and he chews on I while staring at me.

"It's.. good." He nods looking down nervously. My god.. he's adorable.

"Bilbo, you wanna hold these over the flame with these tongs I made? Cook off all the fibers?" I hand the cleaned out coconuts to him and his eyes widen. He nods with a smile and gets to work.

"What can I do?" Thorin asks with a tilt of his head.

"Uhm... Ah!" Concentrating on a branch, I form the limbs into spork shapes.  "Cut those loose. They're called Sporks and they are a beautiful craft of human engineering." Thorin nods, grabbing his knife he pulls the branch down and gets to work.

While they do that, I alter the building slightly, making windows that will allow airflow.. and making benches with moss on them to sit on around the fire flower. I wipe the sweat from my brow and Thorin looks to me. "Rest Seer. You have done much, let us take over." Thorin nods to me and I smile, taking a rest on a bench with a sigh. I scoot my bench over to help with peeling and cutting potatoes when he's not looking.

We eat a beautiful stew that tastes delicious, Bombur is an excellent chef I must say. While everyone's busy I change the floor into a large bed of moss to make sleep comfortable, not seeing the smile Thorin gives me.

-  Morning  -

After eating breakfast, the company packs up their bedrolls. Loading them back onto Chestnut. Once everyone's ready we get into position.. and I lower the shelter. Dismissing the plants I made last night. Only to be met by the sight of an elves bow in my face. All of the dwarves move to grab their weapons but stop when I say. "Holy shit! It's Legolas!" I say with excitement, he looks to me and looks me up and down. Lowering his bow slowly. ITS HIMMMMMMMM

"My apologies, I did not recognize that you were a child of man. Your armor is.. odd." Legolas says with a squint. "You are Ellen? The Seer and Druid?" He asks me.

"Yessir I am!" I bounce on the balls of my feet happily.

"Good, again my apologies. I saw an odd formation of trees and got suspicious. I should have known better." He bows his head to me.

"Water under the bridge my dude!" I wave him off and Thorin and Kili scowls at him.

"The king has given us orders to escort you to the palace to speak and replenish your supplies."

"Lead on." Thorin growls out angrily.

"You know, your elf buddies in the trees don't need to hide." I say offhandedly with a shrug as we begin to walk.

Legolas' eyes widen a fraction. "How did-"

"I wiggled the branches up above and smacked em all. Which told me all of their positions, little trick I learnt while walking... It's fuckin dark here." Focusing my power I spread the canopy like the red sea, allowing light to shine down.

"Incredible.." Legolas says in Sindarin.

"On the road again~ I can't wait to get on the road again!~" I sing to myself while strutting beside Legolas as he leads us off the pathway.

-  Few Hours Later  -

"Anybody hungry? Snacks?" I offer to the dwarves, pulling my mask back to show my face.

"Can I have a one of those yellow long things?" Ori asks me nervously and I smile tossing a seed to the side, a tree erupts and a bushel of bananas is lowered to everyone.

"Take what ya want. Anyone else want something?"

"I would appreciate a peach dear, if you don't mind." Balin smiles to me and I beam at him. Quickly creating another tree which he picks a few from. Thorin grabs a few for himself with a nod to me.

"Your power is incredible.. you could feed whole kingdoms with it." Legolas says with awe in his tone.

"Heh, thanks. I plan to once we retake Erebor from that glorified fire breathing gecko... I can't wait to make some cool ass armor with his hide!!" I cackle evilly while rubbing my hands together. "The perfect fire proof armor!"

"If you kill the dragon yourself, Seer you may claim the entire creature." Thorin's says with a laugh.

"I'll take you up on that, just you wait! I've been dreaming of tasting dragon meat since Delicious in Dungeon!" I pull my helmet off and shake my hair loose, hooking it onto my side.

"Delicious in Dungeon..?" Legolas squints in confusion.

"A story from my homeland. A party of adventures. Containing a dwarf named Senshi, a man named Laios, an elf woman named Marcille and a Hobbit named Chilchuck adventure into a dungeon filled with monsters. They run out of food and are forced to eat them to survive." I shrug and Legolas laughs.

"An elf and Dwarf working together?" I smirk to him.

"Don't doubt it so easily Greenleaf Greenleaf." I say his name with a snort, he looks at me with wide eyes. Yeah leggy, I know your name literally means Greenleaf. So it's Greenleaf Greenleaf

Chapter Text

Written: November 4th, 2024

- Two Days Later -

"We have reached a way station. You may rest comfortably here." Legolas looks to our group and all the dwarves fall down with exhaustion.

"I'll set up our shelter.." I mumble tiredly, holding my hand up I force the trees above us to move and shape. Creating the simple shelter like I did last time. The elves who have come down from the trees watch with reverence.

"I feel like meat tonight for supper, I could use some of that bread the shifter gave us!" Bombur says while rummaging in his pack on Chestnut.

"We can make sandwiches? I wouldn't mind having a steak sandwich that sounds delicious." I say with a smile, the fire flower bursting from the ground. We are all of the stew he made the other night as leftovers. It was better each day.

"That does sound lovely dear." Bombur smiles to me, grabbing a skillet from his pack. He walks over and plops it on the flower, dropping a small amount of butter. He plucks some of the leafy meat off the plant to be cooked.

"Meat made from plants..?" One of the elves say.

"Completely vegetarian, no animal is harmed." I smile to the elves who have entered the shack i made. "You're welcome to share with us. Do your people eat cheeses and eggs?"

"Yes, we do eat products from animals. We just don't eat the animals themselves." Legolas sits down on a stool, looking around the dimly lit hut with curiosity.

"Oh good! I'll make sure that your portions are cooked first, so the juices from the sausages won't contaminate it... Is there anything else you would like? I can create any form of fruit or vegetables?" I toss some seeds down so Nori and Dori can pluck some tomatoes for their sandwiches.

"Some simple fruits would be fine. We do not want to trouble you, Druid." A male elf bows his head to me and I nod. Tossing some seeds in front of them, small trees sprout and provide a single fruit. The female plucks one and I grows right back. I nod and look around, trying to find something to do. I exhale loudly, playing with my hands.

"Do not exhaust yourself, Ellen." Kili calls out walking to my side, looking at me with concern. Seeing how tired I've become since we've entered the forest. "Rest, you have done your part. Let us put the work in."

"I'm fine Kili... I just.." I look down while I play with my hands nervously. "I need to be doing something or I feel worthless.." I mumble to him and he frowns, grabbing my hand in his he gives it a squeeze.

"You are not worthless, Amrâlimê..." He whispers to me. "You saved us all from those Trolls when we first met, and the Wargs after... You prevented our horses from bolting and us losing our supplies.. you are incredible." Kili says with a growing smile on his face.

"You are feeding a huge group of people my lady. Do not feel worthless." Legolas pipes up, resting his foot on a rock. Accidentally spreading his legs and making me gulp. "Your powers are incredible from what I have seen."

"Rest, please?" Kili tilts my head up by my chin and I sigh.

"Fine.." I mumble and he smiles at me. He leads me over to a bench where Oin and Balin are resting.

"How are you doing my dear?" Balin asks me with a grandfatherly smile.

"I'm okay Balin, just tired." I exhale loudly, leaning back in my seat. "After we defeat Smaug.. and Erebor is brought back to glory.. I know you aim to reclaim Moria." I look to him and see his eyes widen.

"Aye.. I wish to reclaim my home.."

"I know what happens, Balin. And.. it isn't good. I want to go with you regardless of my age at the time. I will make sure your party does not fall." My gaze steels as I look to him.

"We perish?" Balin asks me with heavy eyes

"Yes.. you all die in a chamber with no exit... Ori writes down everything that happened before you all perish... Your bodies are discovered later when the Fellowship travels through Moria... Gimli finds your bodies.." Balin chokes back tears.

"There... There is an evil hiding deep within Moria. Balin." I lean close and whisper to him. "A.. A Balrog." Balin gasps loudly with wide eyes. "Im going to kill it. This I promise you." I look him in the eyes with a steeled glare.

"I would be more then happy to fight by your side, Ellen." Balin nods to me and I smile, he wraps his arms around me and hugs me close... What I don't see is all the elves looking at us from the corner of their eyes. Having listened to the conversation.

- One Week Later -

Walking through the gates of the kingdom, my eyes wide with awe as I look around. "Whoa..." Legolas smirks slightly as we approach the palace.

"King Thranduril wishes to see Lady Ellen and King Thorin and his advisor." An elf walks up to us and says with a nod of his head.

"Dang, business already." I sigh loudly with a pout. "I wanted to go see the elk.." I say softly while we begin to walk through the halls, deeper and deeper into the castle. Legolas beside us. Two guards dressed in full regalia open the huge heavy doors into the room. I look around with a smile on my face. "Gotta admit, I do love an underground kingdom..." I whisper softly to Thorin who smiles at me.

Thranduril lounges on his throne looking hot as hell. "So, you are the druidic seer Elrond wrote about.. when he called in his favor he's been saving for a thousand years.." he looks me up and down, unimpressed with what he sees. What... Elrond did that? For me?

"Y-Yes sir, I must thank you for allowing us into your beautiful kingdom." I bow to him with a smile on my face. "It is lovely." Thranduril raises a brow, looking for any sign of deception or lies.. and sees none. He hums.

"I am only allowing you to stay temporarily because you promised me my gems." He states with a frown, Thorin frowns beside me clenching his fists. I rest my hand on his arm giving him a squeeze. Mentally screaming to any gods to not let this man call the elf king a racial slur.

"I completely understand your majesty. Since I am a seer I understand the importance of them... I am more then happy to return them to you.. may I ask for something in return..?" I ask him nervously while biting my lip. My brain acting like a rabif weasel with a bone. The idea of petting the kings Elk ravaging my mind, I throw caution to the wind.

"You ask for more yet I allow you to stay in my kingdom?" He growls to me with a scowl on his face. "Greedy child of man." He hisses in Sindarin. No idea what he said, but is sounded hot as fuck. Balin and Thorin looks at me in confusion, Legolas raises a brow to my request as well.

"I just want your permission to pet the elk sir. I know to ask their owner permission before touching any animal..." I say with a soft squeak, playing with my hands nervously. Frowning slightly. Dammit! He probably thought I wanted riches or some shit! Nah fam, I'm autistic with a HUGE hyperfixation on animals! I wanna pet the elk!!! I've pet Reindeer, I've pet a moose when I was a kid, I e pet a wild deer. All I'm missing from my collection is an elk!!! Then I'll have completed my POKEDEX!!!!!! "Seeing your beautiful elk that you road into battle through my visions.... it was amazing. I have always wanted to pet such a majestic beast and spoil it with treats." I admit with a soft giggle, he squints at me in confusion.

"You... You ask to pet my steed? That is all..?" He looks down to me, and I nod enthusiastically. He scans my face and body for signs of deception. And he can find none, because I wear my heart on my sleeve. I have a hard time hiding my emotions from people when I'm not masking, which I haven't done in a while in this world. "You are... Peculiar for a child of man." He drawls out, eyes glinting in the light. He strokes his chin while staring at me.

"I get that a lot." I shrug with indifference. Shockingly more then you would believe..

"I agree to this. My son Legolas shall escort you to the elk after our meeting." He waves it off, gesturing to him. "But tell me Seer, why should I give you my army? What is in the future? I want to hear your vision from your own words, not the embellished tellings of Lord Elrond." He raises a brow and adjusts in his throne, man spreading.. which low-key makes me wanna ride his dick on his throne.

"Alright, that's simple enough." I bite my lip and mentally go through my thoughts. Basically rewinding my mind and going through the final movie again. "One second, my apologies. I'm working on the wording." I say with a grimace, not wanting to accidentally say something wrong. Thranduril and Legolas look at me with perplexion.

"Okay!" I clap my hands softly, being mindful of their ears. "There's gonna be two huge army's of thousands of goblins, orcs and.. ogres..? Are ogres a thing here?" I ask Thorin and he nods his head with a frown. "Sorry they didn't explain what they were in the movie- anyway, they're the first army is lead into the battlefield through huge tunnels dug by equally huge worm things that drill through the ground." I gesture around wildly with my hands.

"Were-wyrms?" Thranduril's eyes widen a fraction.

"Yeah! That's the name! That's what Peter Jackson called them!" I snap my fingers and point at the king with a grin. I take a deep breath before starting again. "Towards the end of the battle on Raven Hill where the final battle between Durin's sons and Azog and his spawn happens. They look over the mountain and see a hoard of massive bats flying to Erebor as reinforcements. But the giant eagle guys fend them off... Wait." My eyes widen and I hiss with a grimace. The elves look in confusion, wondering what caused hate reaction. "Balin, remind me to send Flowey to ask Gandalf to call his bird buddies for a favor..?" I whisper to him and he looks at me with wide eyes before nodding.

"Sorry, we ah.. didn't have Gandalf because I sent him on a super secret mission earlier... So we had to improvise with one portion of the story before we came here."

"What, may I ask did you improvise?" Legolas looks to me with a small smile, finding me amusing.

"Well, when we got chased out of Goblin town and chased down the mountain by the orcs. In the story they were originally supposed to climb into the trees with Gandalf. He would light pinecones on fire and toss em. They had no escape so he sent a moth off with a message, the rage guys came and saved the party." I nod my head, rocking back and forth on the balls of my feet.

"And what did you do?"

"No fire pinecones.. but I did slaughter orcs and Wargs using briar vines.. I made an eagle of my own and flew us all towards Beorn's. We couldn't skip your kingdom because I wouldn't know what would happen if we did." Thranduril hums in thought. "But, on with what I was saying before I lost my train of thought."

I snap my fingers and point at him. I drop my happy go lucky persona and everyone's eyes widen a fraction. Sensing my change in demeanor. "If Saurons forces take Erebor I can guarantee that your kingdom will be next, sir. It's simply logical to work together to defeat this foe and claim the mountain for the lesser of two evils." I gesture to Thorin and Balin. Thranduril looks at me, analyzing me.. before turning to the dwarves.

"Thorin, son of Thrain. How accurate has she been with her visions?" Thranduril finally acknowledges the dwarf who's seething with anger.

"Very accurate." He grits through his teeth. "She has saved our lives more times than I can count with her plant abilities as well. I have no doubt she will be formidable on the battlefield." He growls out with his baritone voice, it sends shivers up my spine.

"I uhm..." Raising my hand the king looks to me in confusion. "Sorry ah, I already got a plan..? For the dragon and the armies..." I return to my non masking personality, continuing to bounce on the balls of my feet, unable to contain my energy.

"What is this plan?" He tilts his head back, looking at me in confusion. Wondering why I'm acting so odd.

"Well there's a creature from a story from my homeland called 'Little Shop of Horrors'. The plant is called Audry2.. It will wreak havoc on the enemy's once i create it, I can assure you." I imagine the large plant grabbing goblins and orcs alive and guzzling them of their blood. Growing larger by the second.

"What does this Audrey creature do??" Legolas speaks up from beside me, squinting with curiosity. Wondering how a simple plant can take down an army?

"Audrey2 feeds off of blood. The more blood it consumes the larger and stronger it gets... So effectively the battlefield will be an all you can eat buffet." I smirk evily sending chills down the guards spines. "Audrey has vines that act as tentacles, it's mouth filled with razor sharp teeth... Audrey will handle the ground forces.. But for the forces in the air, I plan on making a dragon of my own out of plants. Like my horse chestnut and my kids." I shrug and the king stares at me in disbelief, jaw dropped ever so slightly.

"I.. see...." Thranduril smirks slightly, in awe of my creativity.

"Who are the children's father?" Legolas asks with a tilt of his head, confused. Having not seen any, nor have I mentioned them.

"Huh?" I look at him in confusion. The fuck he talkin- "Oh! Right, you haven't met them. Flowey!" I call out to him and hear below us.

"Down here mama!!!" His voice echos through the cave system. I walk over to the edge and peek over. "There's no dirt up there!! And It's a little high to climb!!" He yells from down below, unable to traverse through stone just yet.

"Sorry honey, hold on!" I hold out my hand and my grappling hook deploys. Shooting down to the ground, I gently pluck Flowey out roots and all. Reeling him back towards me, I grab him in my hands.

He sits in my hand, holding his leaves over his exposed roots with a dark green blush. "Mother... I'm naked!!!" He whines in embarrassment, shivering from the cold air on his exposed roots.

"Sorry baby, here." I take off my helmet and turn it around so it acts like a bowl. Setting him inside of it while I shake my hair loose "That better?" He nods his head and rests his leaves on the side of the helmet. Looking around the room in curiosity.

"Whoa, pretty spiffy in here. Nice digs!" Flowey nods his head while I return to where I was once standing.

"The.. the plant speaks..?" Legolas stares at Flowey in awe, stepping forward to look at him closely. "I knew you could make them move- but to give them life? Sentient life? You hold the power of Valar!" His eyes are wide as he stares at me, his breath taken away when he sees me without my helmet on.. and.. my ear-

"The wha now?" I look around in confusion, adjusting my hair from my damn helmet head. This shit wasn't explained in the movies?

"It's the Elven word for gods, lass." Balin explains with a smile and I nod.

"Oh yeah.. forgot about them. I only knew about Mahal cause y'all use it like a curse word sometimes. Like how my people say 'Jesus Christ'." I gesture to the two of them and they blush slightly. "Sorry about that, from my world we have multiple religions that believe in different gods.. that may or may not exist, we have no clue." I shrug with a grimace. Legolas still stares at where my now covered ears are.

"As long as you fight as well in the battle, I see no problem in sending a portion of my army-" I raise a brow at this. Nah, no sir. You send it all. Time to sweeten the deal, make him an offer he can't refuse.

"Sorry to interrupt.. But how about I clean the fort nearby of all those nasty little spiders?" I raise a brow with a smirk to him. "My son Groot and his brother Spruce can deal with it right now." I nod my head eagerly.

".... If they cleanse it I shall send my entire army to aid you." Thranduril leans back in his throne, smirking himself.

"You have a deal, your kinglyness!" I grin bowing at the waist, I look to Flowey who sighs.

"Got me running from here to Erebor and back! You're running me ragged mama!" He bitches and moans as I bring him back to the edge, lifting him out of my helmet. He covers his roots, glaring at anyone who looks, I lower him back down after giving him a kiss.

"We thank you in aiding us your majesty." Balin bows his head to Thranduril who looks at Thorin. I smack Thorin on the ass and give him a look, his eyes widen.

"Yes, thank you. We appreciate the aid... even though it is late." He hisses out, gritting his teeth.

"Thorin I swear to God!" I growl at him with a heated glare. "We've talked about this!" I hiss at him and he frowns at me. "He had to protect his own people too! Not to mention your grandpa stole his property! He made your entire race look like thieves in his eyes! Why would a man risk his people's lives for thieves?!?! Would you risk all of Erebor for someone you perceived as a thief???? No you wouldn't! Think with logic, Thorin! Not emotions! I know it hurts, but you're a king! It's your job to make the logical decisions!" I look from between each of his eyes with a pointed look, wagging my finger in his face.

Thorin sighs loudly while looking at me. "FINE! Yes! I get it! Stop your screeching! You harpy of a woman!" He bellows out with a loud exhale. "I apologize for my comment, old rage is still within me..." He bows reluctantly to Thranduril.

Thranduril sits on his throne smirking with amusement. "You are.. forgiven for this transgression... My servants shall show you to where you can sleep." He waves his hand off dismissively.

"Pardon me your majesty, is there a free area with a lot of dirt?" I ask him kindly, resting my helmet under my arm.

"Yes..?" He looks at me with curiosity wondering what I'm going to ask for now.

"May our party rest there your majesty? The last time they spent at Rivendell.. they left a lot of property damage you see, I want to spare your old precious furniture." I say with a soft laugh, that earns a small barely there smile that makes me fangirl squeal mentally.

"Yes. The you may use the courtyard to sleep, I am curious how you will use it..." He waves us off and I bow to him before leaving with Thorin and Balin... Legolas following after us. "Legolas?" I look at him with a raised brow.

"My father has ordered me to stay within the castle until the war starts up. I wished to see you create your plants in action once more. It is fascinating." He nods, his eyes flicking towards my ears every so often. What, does he not like my hair or something??

"Sure, no problem." I shrug with a little laugh.

"Follow me, I shall show you the courtyard." Legolas walks swiftly and silently through the halls.

- Courtyard -

Looking at the barren space I nod in satisfaction. "Hm.. this will work. Everyone back up please!" I gesture to the dwarves and they all take steps back.

Grabbing seeds in my hands from my pouch I walk in a large square shape and toss seeds down. Slowly recreating my house except with beds for all of us. Effectively creating a large cabin for us to use during our time here.

"Incredible!" Legolas steps forward and rests his hand on the tree. "You were blessed by the valar!" He smiles as he looks to me and I blush.

"Is nothing.. just creativity." I wave him off meekly, Kili frowns at the elf squinting slightly.

"Let's get settled everyone! Your rooms are labeled! Each bed is set for your bedrolls to be placed on with a thick bed of moss to make it comfy!" Bombur walks in with excitement, wanting to see the kitchen area. I step back and let them explore the two story home. "Damn I'm good." I say with a grin to myself. All my years of Minecraft and Terraria base building has paid off.

"Would you like to see the Elk now my lady?" Legolas steps up beside me and asks, I beam with excitement. Acting like a chipmunk on cocaine.

"Lead the way!!" The elf smiles slightly at this and nods, turning around he leads me towards the stable. Kili stands in the doorway glaring at the elf.

- Stable -

"Whoa, it's so beautifully built! Elven architecture is incredible!" I say as we step inside the stables. Chestnut steps up and snorts at me with a frown on his horse plant face. "Nutty! Hey baby." I pet its head and it continues to scowl, snorting at me with the scent of roses which indicates anger. "What's the matter? You angry they wouldn't let you follow us?" Chestnut nods it's head while snorting again, the scent of lavender for yes. Daisy's is no.

"It's okay now Ches, you can go deliver our things at the courtyard." Chestnut nods his head and walks out of the stable, snorting out the scent of lilac for happiness.

"You are certainly creative. What gave you the idea to make the horse hollow?" Legolas asks, walking down the way slowly towards the elk. Eyes locked onto me with curiosity.

"Storage space, it's more effective to keep it dry if it's inside the body." I shrug with indifference. "Is that...?" I point to the elk who looks over the stall door.

"Yes, that is fathers elk." Legolas nods once and I squeak softly, he side eyes me with a barely there smile.

"What's his name?" I ask as I slowly walk up to it. Holding my hand out the elk squints at me, sniffing my hand.. he nibbles on the moss that pokes out of my armor and I laugh at him.

"He doesn't have a name." Legolas shrugs his shoulders. "Father never felt the need to give him one."

"How about Moose? That was the name of the horse they used as a double for the elk in the story..." I say while stroking the elks snout. "What's his favorite treat?" I turn back to look at Legolas eagerly.

"I am.. unsure.." he admits with embarrassment. "They are used for war, my lady. They're not pets.."

I sigh and proceed to make carrots, apples as well as some mushrooms using the dirt on the ground. I jump back up and begin to offer them to Moose. The elk zeros in and begins to eat with excitement, munching on the apple greedily. "I knew you would be a Macintosh lover like I am, Moose." The elk looks at the other treats and gives them a taste, spitting the carrot out. "I understand completely. I don't care for carrots much either." I nod to him as if he's speaking with me.

Legolas steps up and watches with curiosity. "You have a kinship with it already..? It took me decades to get him to trust me enough for a short ride."

"The way to a mans heart is through his stomach. Plus this apple is considered a once in a lifetime delicacy because it's from my world." I pet the elks face as it eagerly munches down on the apple, eating it core and all. "Is that good boy? You want more?" I say with a baby voice, offering him another apple which he happily takes too. Legolas leans against a post and watches me with a small smile. "So does your dad like wine?" I ask with curiosity as I feed Moose, wanting to know if the fanfics are right.

"Yes, why do you ask?" The barrel scene is enough of an indicator Legolas. Your father's an alcoholic.

"Cause I can make him a species of grapes he's never seen before to make wine with." I grin at him like the Cheshire cat. "He gets the grapes if he agrees to the elks name." Legolas laughs loudly at this.

"You really want to name his Elk, Moose????" He looks at me with a grin that makes my heart do a backflip. A moose may have killed me, but I can't fault the Mama.. She was just protecting her baby.

"I-I like funny names... Sue me. My swords name is My Little Friend!" I pat the blade at my side and Legolas laughs harder, wheezing loudly. I blush a light pink, enjoying the sound of his laugh. "He's a silly elf isn't he, Moose?" I speak to the Elk and it nods to me. This makes my eyes widen. IT UNDERSTANDS?!?!

-  Later  -  Courtyard  -

"I'm a genius." I say smugly while milking the cow plant from the sims. It pants loudly with a smile as I collect the milk and hand it to a grinning Bombur. Bofur stands nearby collecting some 'egg' plants, which I made a modification too. I used the original variant that wasn't altered by genetic interference and modified it to be actual eggs. They now look, act and taste like eggs. But all plant!

The cow plant licks me with a smile and I laugh, giving it a pat it nuzzles into my hand. "Good boy. You rest okay?" It nods and just lays down..? Nuzzling into the ground. I walk into the hut and am hit by the scents of food. "Whatcha making?"

"Cheeses from yae cow plant!" Bombur says with a smile, happy to have cheese again. And curious as to how this type will taste! He loves cheeses!

"I'm baking us some goodies." Dori says with a smile, baking some tarts. He did own a bakery before all of this.

"Well. I'm going to go relax for a bit. I'm exhausted, I'll see you all at dinner!" I wave at them before running up stairs to my room where all my stuff is.

Chapter Text

Written: November 4th, 2024

🔞 - Kili

- That Night -

Deep into the night, when all the dwarves are sleeping. I sit on my sleeping bag reading my international plant guide book, hearing a knock on my door I raise a brow. Wonderful, who's up this late? Opening it with my mind, I see Kili who stands in the dim light of the moss. "I-I'm not bothering you am I..?" He asks me nervously, a small smile on his face. Looking absolutely adorable, dressed in only sleeping shorts.. his chest looks delectable, like I could grate cheese on his abs... I low-key want to be like SpongeBob and that meme where he licks stuff wildly.

"No, come on in." I gesture for him to come in and he does.

"What are you reading, Amrâlimê (my love)?" He asks with curiosity walking over to my bed, he leans over and looks. Getting quite close speaking a word in Khuzdul, his native language.. I gotta know what that damn word means!

"It's a book about plants from my world. I'm looking for ideas for the battle ahead." I say with a hum, setting it down to give the man my attention. Wondering what he could need.

Kili rests his hand on the wall behind me, leaning his body over me looking down at me through lidded eyes. My eyes widen slightly when I notice he's so close. Gulping nervously, my mind going to Booktok. "Mahal.. it's so hard to control myself around you every day, Amrâlimê." Kili whispers to me, heat in his gaze.  OH MY LORD!!! HE'S STARTING A FIRE!

"What..." I stare up at him, feeling like a mouse in front of a Lion. "What does that word mean, Kili..?" I ask him nervously, no doubt looking like a tomato right now.

"It means.. my love.." he whispers, eyes flicking to my lips. I blush a dark red as I stare at him. "Can.. can I kiss you..?" He asks me, eyes flicking from my lips to my eyes once more. THERE BE GOES PUSHING THE BELLOWS ON MY AROUSAL FORGE!!

I blush and look at him through my lashes. Oh fuck that sounds nice.. kissing couldn't lead to sex . Pshhh nah, we'll be fine! "P-please..?" i whisper to him and his breath catches, he leans forward and kisses me gently. I moan softly in surprise at how soft his lips are, the dwarf moves quickly and pushes me back onto my sleeping bag. Crawling over my body pinning me to it with his body, his mouth moving against mine in the most sinful way. I moan softly against him, my eyes fluttering closed. Losing myself in the sensation, a warm heat igniting in my belly. Enjoying the weight of his body on top of mine, It makes my brain do a happy dance. My own living anxiety blanket!

I wrap my arms around his neck and tug on his hair, earning a groan from him that makes me shiver. oh damn.. He pulls away to breath and stares down at me, eyes black from his arousal. "You taste delicious, Givasheluh (my treasure of treasures).... I hardly want to leave your lips." Kili stokes my lips with his thumb and I whimper, my body feeling like a live wire. Then Don't! Suffocate me with your mouth!

"Kili.. please.." I beg him softly, running my fingers through his hair with a pout. Wanting to French him till I pass out.

"What is it, Givasheluh? Tell me what you want.. I'll give it to you and more.." he pants out kisses my neck gently, sucking on my skin. Wanting to leave a mark to show the elf that I'm taken.. I moan under my breath, enjoying the sensation of his mouth on me.

"More..? Touch me please.. I.. I want you so bad.." I admit with a needy whine. Having been unable to masturbate since I've been with the company... So forFUCKINGever

"I would love nothing more.. my love.. Amrâlimê." Kili leans down and devours my mouth with a kiss. I moan against him. I feel him grind his groin against mine unconsciously, licking gently at my lips nervously asking to further the kiss. OH HIS DICK THICK! I open my mouth with a whine, pushing up to grind against him myself. He grunts when I run up against his cock, stroking him with my thighs. He licks and sucks at my tongue like a man starved, groaning and moaning as he devours me for all I'm worth. Acting like a Dementor and sucking my soul out... Which I happily welcome.

His free hand begin to explore my body as our tongues swirl around each other. Kili, you naughty boy! Getting handsy? His left hand holds him up while his right moves to my breasts, gently holding one in his hand. He groans at the feeling of them, giving it a small squeeze. I whimper at the sensation sucking on his tongue and giving it a nip. He breath heavily through his nose, pushing my shirt up and off he grabs my nipple and begins to squeeze and play with it. I groan slightly and he growls into the kiss. Don't like nipple play that much.. it feels weird..

My lungs begin to burn and I pull away with a gasp, he stares at me while he pants to regain his lost breath. Still fondling my breast in his hand. "Mahal.. you are devious Men Gehyith (my dove)." Kili laughs softly with a boyish grin, rubbing his lips against mine. Wanting to continue the kiss some more, I'm the first woman he's done anything with... He's breaking so many of his uncles rules by being with me tonight.

"I.. I wanna make you feel good Kili.." i whisper to him nervously and he blushes. I need to hear him moan my name. Thrashing on the bed in pleasure. I want to watch him beg me to cum with tears in his eyes. I want to ruin this man and his innocence... Fuck I even wanna peg him just to watch HIM be cock dumb. My internal horny forge begins to burn red hot, washing my body and mind with a heatful lust.

"You don't have to Men Sanghivasha (my perfect treasure). I don't want to take your innocence... N-Not yet.." He admits with a blush, wanting to save it for the wedding night. Innocence? HHAHAHAHAHA THATS FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!! I lost my virginity to my bfffl in highschool. I even dommed guys when I got older.

"Kili, I'm far from innocent.." I giggle at him with a smile, his eyes widen in surprise. Having thought me an innocent flower to be protected. "Please..? Just with my hands..?" Kili gulps and stares at me as if he's staring down a dragon. Take the bait!

"O-okay.. Amrâlimê.." he says with a husky voice, leaning back I lift him up and he squawks in surprise. I swap positions and pin him down with my body, grinning at him as he blushes a bright red.

Pulling down his pants he chokes on his breath when I touch his cock for a second. Having never felt another person touch him there before. Biting his lip he looks at me with needy eyes. "You're so fucking cute.." I whisper to him with a devious smile.

"Im.. I'm not cute." He says with a frown, I tug down his underwear and reveal a thick cock that's slightly smaller then an average males... But thicker.. and it has ridges all over it. He kicks his sleeping pants and underwear off onto the floor. It looks so inhuman with the ridges.. this looks like it would be fun to ride! I wonder what an elves cock looks like? And hobbits..?

Stroking my hand up and down his cock he groans, fighting to keep his eyes from closing. Wanting to watch me touch him, finding it incredibly erotic. "You're so thick, Kili.." I whisper into his ear, watching his breath hitch. "I don't think you would fit.." I look in his eyes and he exhales shakily. God he's cute.

"Please-" he begs me softly, bucking his hips up into my hand.

"Please what?" I ask with a grin.

"More. Please more Givasheluh." He whines softly with need, his cock throbbing in my palm with need. Wanting to bury itself inside me.

"You're adorable when you beg..." I whisper to him, licking at his neck I stroke him some more. Kissing and sucking at his skin, he tilts his neck with a furrowed brow. Finding it incredibly arousing.

"Fuck.. so good Amrâlimê- don't stop!" He whines to me while fucking into my hand, I clench my thighs together needily. Want- no NEEDING this man to fuck me dumb.

"I.. fuck I.. I want you to fuck me Kili.. please..? I need you inside.." I ask him needily, rubbing my legs together as I stroke him.

He looks to me with heat raging in his gaze, barely controlling his ravenous lust with the urge to be a gentleman. "I.. is it safe?" Wanting to know if my sun cycle has passed, aka my ovulation cycle. The moon cycle being my period.

"I can't get pregnant for two years, Kili. Its technology from my world imbedded in my arm." I admit to him and he nods eagerly. Wanting nothing more then to sheath his sword in my slick to quench his flames.

Kili sits up and moves to help me pull down my pants, pushing my underwear off he gulps when he sees my pussy. We adjust so I'm now laying down. "I uhm.. this is my first experience with a woman.." He admits to me while stroking my thighs.

"It's okay Kii, I trust you." His breath hitches and he nods. Kili slides his thick fingers through my slick and his eyes widen. Realizing just how wet I am.. how slippery it is. Imagining his cock in it is driving him wild.

He looks up to me and pushes a finger inside, watching my expression. I bite my lip and moan softly from the sensation, he exhales loudly once. Swallowing down all the saliva in his mouth. Thrusting his finger in and out, he quickly adds a second. Performing a scissoring motion, having had the sex talk from his uncle.. and how to please a dam (woman). He wants to make sure that it's as comfortable for me as possible since he's thicker then human men. His uncle told him and Fili to always stretch a dam. "Is this good Givasheluh?" He asks me nervously, curling his fingers inside of me. I whine and buck my hand against him. Yes it's good. But I've been ready to be fucked for fucking ever!!!! Shove your goddamn cock in me Kili or I swear to your God!!!!

"Kii, please.. I want your cock.." i whine to him, giving him my best puppy dog eyes. He grits his teeth and nods, using the slick on his hands to wet his member. He takes a shuddering breath, moving up on his knees. He gets close to me, his member sliding against my entrance.

Tossing my legs over his shoulders he looks to me one last time, holding his meaty cock in hand. "Are you sure..?" He asks me to be sure, not wanting to take advantage.

"Yes Kii, fuck me till I'm dumb!" He growls at that, looking down he pushes his cock inside of me. Groaning deeply from the sensation and the sight of it.

"Mahal.. you're so hot inside Amrâlimê.." Kili hisses under his breath, pushing in he feels all the ridges and bumps. It makes his cock feel incredible.

"Fuck.. you're so thick!" I grunt, feeling him stretch me than a normal man could. He gives me a moment before pulling back his hips and plunging back inside of me with a sudden moan. The ridges of his cock rubbing against my g-spot with every thrust.

He loses himself in the sensation and begins a firm hard rhythm. Resting his head against my thigh, he stares at my face while fucking me like a machine. Watching me writhe and moan like a cat in heat. "So fucking good for me- such a good girl-" He pants loudly, eyes locked on my face. "Mahal!" He cries out under his breath.

"God! Kili!!" I whine wanting more of him. he's too damn short to kiss me while he fucks me! Just as I think that, the bed moves. Pushing me into a different position, holding Kili while still allowing him to fuck me. Making my body bend in half. I moan deeply at the new sensation. He's hitting my g-spot with every thrust now! My cum oozes out of me in a stream, his cock has a ring of my cream around it.

Kili leans forward in a frenzy of lust, grabbing me by the hair and kissing me breathless while fucking into me. Groaning and moaning against my lips, he reaches a hand down and rubs my clit quickly. Pulling away with a pant, he rests his forehead against my own. "I'm gonna fill you full of my fucking cum, yeah? The Durin line will live on inside of you-! My seed always inside your w-womb-" he hisses out as he stares into my eyes. "My good little cum s-slut-" he hisses out, eyes black as night.

"Holy fuck Kili!" I say with wide eyes, finding that hot as hell.

"Who does this pussy belong to??" He tugs on my hair hard, pounding into me crazily. Panting and wheezing as he pumps his cock into me.

"It's yours Kili! My pussy is yours!" I whine out against his lips, feeling the coil of orgasm forming.

"Y-yeah I feel that- be a good girl for your Adad (Dad) and Inkhi (come)! Milk my cock with your cunt! Make your Adad cum!" He growls out and I mewl, digging my nails into his back he hisses. My walls clamp down on him and work him for all he's worth. My reality shatters as I cum, squirting all over him and the moss bed. Kili growls into my neck, pulling out quickly he squirts his cum all over me. Jacking himself off hard and fast as he stares at my body, barely able to catch his breath.

He wheezes loudly when his orgasm ends, gasping for breath. The bed returns back to its original state, we both pant loudly. Covered in sweat from our love making. Kili rests his head against my thigh with a smile on his face. "Amrâl astî... (I love you)" He stares into my eyes.

"Wha.. what did you say..?" I ask him with a raised brow.

"I said I love you.. you own my heart, Ellen." Kili smiles at me and I smile back. "Let me ah.. I'll clean you up." Kili gets up with a grunt, looking around he finds a bucket with water in it and grabs a rag. Man, that's my hand washing bucket.. oh well. Kili uses the rag and cleans my stomach and chest of his essence. A goofy smile on his face, once he's finished he dries me off and slides into her bed beside me. The both of us naked.

"I love you to Kili..." I nuzzle into him and begin to think.. I don't want to lead him on, that would be cruel.. "Can we uh.. talk?"

"Certainly, Men Mesem (my jewel)." He grins at me.

"I wanted to talk to you about.. me. I am what's called a polygamist... I love multiple people.. and like to have multiple people in a relationship..." I admit to him with a blush, scared he would hate me.

Kili frowns slightly. "Would.. would I not be enough for you..?" He looks to me with slight hurt in his eyes, stroking his hand up and down my body.

"No! No Kili, it's not about being enough.. it's just.. my heart is a funky little bitch and forms feelings of love for multiple people most often.. I wanted to let you know of this before we start courting legitimately.." I admit to him nervously. "I.. I already love you.."

Kili looks into my eyes for a moment, taking a long deep breath. "Would we have to fight each other for your affection..?" He asks with slight confusion.

"Gods no. I would love you all equally." I push his hair behind his ear.

"Who.. who is it that you love?" He asks me nervously, afraid that it's an elf.. he can't compete with an elf!

"Well.. it's not real love yet.. but it might get there.." i say softly.

"It's the Elf prince isn't it.." Kili says with a sigh and I nod nervously.

"Guess my heart has a thing for royalty." I snort out a laugh and that makes Kili laugh.

"I.. Alright, I uhm.." Kili bites his lip. "I'll admit something... You.. you are my One, Ellen... Dwarves uh.. when we were made by Mahal.. he separated us into two beings... our Ones are our other half.. you are mine."

"So like soulmates?" I say with a brow raise and he nods his head.

"Yes, I believe they are similar.. You are it for me Ellen. I won't be able to love another Dam like I love you..." I smile at him and kiss him gently on the lips. "Will you accept my bead..?" Unable to wait any longer. Kili whispers softly and I smile at him, nodding my head. He sighs with relief. "Good, I'll braid it in your hair in the morning." Kili beams with happiness and joy, snuggling I to me with a grin. Laying kisses all over my neck, making me giggle cause it tickles.

- Morning -

Kili comes back from his room, his fist clenched around something. I finish pulling my pants on and look to him. He smiles at me and steps up. "Sit down, my love." I giggle with amusement, creating a chair for him that lifts him into the air. Allowing him better access to my long hair.

Kili gathers my hair in front of my face, grabbing a few strands. He begins to braid quickly.. after a minute he slides his bead on my hair with a smile before continuing to braid. Happy beyond belief that I would accept it. He finishes his braid. "May... May I braid the rest of your hair?" He asks me with a husky voice. Hair braiding extremely intimate for dwarves.. especially beard braiding.

"Sure love." He nods and I turn around, giving him access to my full head. He gathers up all my hair, pushing it past my ears... He gasps loudly and that makes me alarmed.  "Huh? What's wrong?" Did he find a scar from when I died? Is that even possible?

"You.. you're an elf..?"

"Huh?" I look to him in complete confusion. "Whaddya mean 'am i an elf'? I have perfectly round ears thank you very much!" I snort and shake my head in disbelief, Kili shakes his head no.

"Hold- hold on! I'll be right back love!" Kili jumps off his stool, rushing out of the room quickly. Leaving the door wide open. Did I.. could.. could I not have realized I had elf ears this entire time? I mean, my hair has always been down. I never really pull it back..

Running back in holding a beat up mirror in hand, I hear Fili yelling through the house. He holds up the mirror for me to take, I look at my ears and my face goes white. "How.." how is this possible??? I have elf ears! Which means I'm a fucking elf!!!!!

"Kili!!" Fili bursts into the room with a scoel. "Give me back.. my..." He stares at me with wide eyes while I play with my ears in confusion. "How.. why..."

"I have no fucking clue, Fili." I say just as confused and shocked. "Last I checked I was a human girl... Seems whoever or whatever sent me here decided to cuck me by making me an elf!" I say with a frown on my face. Bro, I don't know how to handle immortality! Even comprehending that is scary!!

"How did you not notice???" Fili asks me, stepping into the room. Looking at my ears with disbelief.

"No mirrors in the wilds Fili, and I never felt the need to touch my ear tips." I say with a sigh.

"Wait- BROTHER IS THAT YO-" Kili holds his hand over Fili's mouth with a glare. Fili having finally spotted the bead after looking away from my ears.

"Shh!!! Not yet! I haven't braided her hair yet!" Kili curses out his brother with a scowl.

"You finally asked!! Thank Mahal!" Fili sighs with relief once Kili removes his hands. "I'll leave you too be. Bring me back my mirror! Amad (mom) gave that to me!" Fili glares at his brother before walking out of the room. Who is Amad? It's similar to Adad.. Man I really need to learn Dwarvish. But they're secretive of their language.

Kili sighs loudly, I shut the door and make it unopenable completely. "Where were we?"  I ask with a smile, uncaring I'm an elf. If I'm gonna be with Kili, I already have an idea to make him immortal. Thank God for my younger self and hyperfixations on different mythologies... I'll say that much..

"Yes, braiding your hair!" Kili laughs softly, walking over to me he sits back down and gets to it.

By the end of it he has done a beautiful braid.

(Not Mine)

A single strand of hair hangs out with his bead on proud display. "You will have to make me a bead yourself love.. I'll teach you how to braid it in." Kili says as he does the final touches.

Holding a hand out, from the floor a branch raises up. Transforming into a Arran whitebeam's branch. One of the most rarest trees in my world I read about in my book. I give the bead my house crest which I just made up, a Ram surrounded by plants.

Grabbing my knife from my shirt pocket, I cut it off of the tree. Looking at it for a moment I smile, looking towards him I nod. Handing it to him he blushes with a grin. "Show me how to braid it.." he nods and undoes a section of his hair for me.

- Kitchen -

Me and Kili walk into the kitchen side by side, holding hands. The moment we step in it goes silent. Everyone looks at us with wide eyes. "It's about time." Balin says with a huff, then the room bursts into laughter.

"You're an elf?" Thorin says with wide eyes, staring at me in disbelief... And hurt, thinking I betrayed his trust by lying to him. All of the dwarves heads snap to my ears with wide eyes.

"I just found that out myself Thorin. Scouts honor." I hold up two fingers together with a sigh. "I thought I was human this entire time.. I never felt the need to check my ears when I woke up... I'm sorry if you all feel deceived. But don't worry, I'm not technically an elf. I'm more human but with elf life span." I say with a snort.

"Heh. You're right about that." Dwalin says with a snort, sipping on his wooden mug. Everyone bursts out laughing again, Me and Kili sigh with relief, quickly walking to get breakfast that Bombur prepared. Thorin looks at me with a frown but nods to me.

Chapter Text

Written: November 4th, 2024

- That Day -

"You're such a good boy, Moose!!" I say to him in a baby voice, the Elk happily leaning into my scratches with a groan. "If you weren't the kings I would take you for myself! Yes I would!" I kiss the elks snout with a giggle.

"It would not be wise to steal my Elk." My eyes widen and I squeak, turning around I see Thranduril in riding clothes looking at me with a heated glare.

"Your Majesty-" I look to him with wide eyes.

"Lady Ellen..?" Thranduril's eyes widen when he sees my ears. "You are an elf as well?" He squints at me as he looks at my ears.

"Just found out this morning when Kili braided my hair..." I admit while pursing my lips. Embarrassed that it took this long to realize..

"How could you only just now discover you were an elf?" He asks while striding up to me, staring at me with an analytical gaze. Like I'm a marvel to be researched.

"Well ah.." I hiss out with a grimace.
"Shit I'll have to explain everything. "8 laugh nervously.

"I shall listen, take your time." He nods to me and I sigh with relief

"I apologize in advance, I'm horrible at explaining things.. but ah.. I'm not exactly from middle earth..?" Thranduril's eyes widen. "I'm from a different land all together, a uh.. author made a book and play about Thorin's company fighting Smaug and their adventure.. that's how I know wha happens? But uh, anyways.. I was human and... i.. died.. in my old world.. When I woke up I wasn't concerned about anything other then if i was okay and where I was.. Then once i knew I was okay and saw the different stars... I knew I wasn't in my world and I was in full survival mode.. I never really touched or checked my ear tips the entire time." I say with a deep sigh. "I was more focused about getting food and shelter and just surviving.. then I discovered my plant powers and trained them.. then I met the dwarves.." I trail off with a sigh, Moose nudges his head into my palm. Sensing my distress. I haven't even thought about the fact that I'm gonna live forever..

"How.. how did you die? If I may so ask? Do not feel obligated to answer." Thranduril states while grabbing a brush and entering Moose's stall. Brushing him while he listens to me, eyes flicking to me every now and again. I guess it would be okay to tell him. I never really told anyone.. have I? I forget..

"Okay.. well ah... I was exploring my great grandmother's property... She owned a lot since she invested in land when she was young, like 39 acres or something..." I wave my hand about dismissively. "I was deep in the woods, a place I hadn't ventured before.. when I encountered a baby moose. I tried to get him to run off... but he came closer and Mama was nearby... She didn't like me so close to her baby, so she rammed me with her rack. She picked me up in the air and thrashed around. I tried to hold on, but I lost my grip eventually and she threw me off her rack.. right off of a cliff.." Laughing loudly with a sad smile, I take a deep breath. "I hit tree's on the way down, but they were still new growth so they didn't slow me down much.. and I assume I hit a boulder or something hard head first. I only remember the burst of pain on my head then everything turned dark.. like I was sleeping" I smile slightly, remembering the sensation. The peace and calm of it all.. "It was so calm.. peaceful, but.. I woke up..." I stroke Moose's nose with a smile, the Elk nuzzling into me.

"I am sorry you had such a horrific death.." Thranduril looks to me with an unfamiliar warmth in his gaze and I sigh with a smile. I wave him off with a grimace.

"It's no big deal... I'm here now with the Company..." I just can't think about the family I left behind or I'll start bawling.. I've cried myself to sleep on many occasions.. "I've always wanted to be in their story, now I can live through it alongside them.." I smile sadly, my mind playing Kili's death over and over.. "But this time, I'm gonna save everyone who was written to die." I steel my gaze and glare at the wood of Moose's stall. I won't let anyone die on my watch. Nobody dies. I will storm Mordor' myself if I fail and kill everything in sight.

"You are honorable.. Most would let them face their destiny alone, but you fight it for them." I look to Thranduril and notice he's looking at me, a glint in his eyes.

"To be frank sir? Destiny is a bitch." I say with a scowl and he laughs softly, making my eyes widen. My heart flutters at the sound, he shakes his head with amusement. Holy shit, it sounds like the tinkling of bamboo wind chimes.

"I have never heard an elf be so crass. You are certainly a child of man in soul, Lady Ellen." I see a small smirk on his face and blush slightly.

"Just Ellen sir... being called Lady makes me feel weird." I say with a scowl, shivering in disgust at the title. I'm nothing special, just Ellen.

"Then you may call me Thranduril when we are alone." He smiles slightly, looking to his Elk. FIRST NAME BASIS?!?! HOW LEWD!! "My son tells me you have named my steed?" He raises a brow to me, remnants of a smirk on his face. He brushes towards Moose's head, the elk happily leaning into it.

"Y-Yes.." I say nervously, Moose nudges my hand with a glare. Demanding attention again, I shake my head and scratch under his chin.

"In exchange for exotic grapes? To make wine?" He looks to me with a raised brow, I nod and he hums. "Produce me the grapes. I wish to sample what you offer before I decide.." He gives his full attention to me and I beam, happy for the subject change.

Dropping two seeds, one as a tree and the other the grapes. The grape vine climbs high, leaning towards Thranduril it produces a small bushel.. of Ruby Roman grapes. The most expensive grapes on the planet, grown in Japan. I read it in my book. Which was the best gift my grandmother ever gave me before she died, it's a complete guide that lists plants all around the world. She even gave me a guide on extinct plant species.

Thranduril plucks a grape from the bushel and throws it into his mouth. Chewing it I see his eyes widen a fraction that other might not be able to see. He chews for a few more moments before swallowing. "What is the name you wish to give him?" He looks to me, raising his brow ever so slightly.

"Moose, after the horse that was used as a body double in the ah.. play." It's hard to explain movies.. but they have plays here. Thranduril grabs another grape from the vine and chews on it while he looks at me. His brow raising higher, wondering why I would name his steed the name of the species that killed me.

When he swallows, squinting at me and answers. "Fine, you may name my steed Moose." He sighs softly.

"YES!" I jump up and down for joy, Moose does a little dance with a bellow. Thranduril raises a brow in surprise to his steed. Having never seen it this emotive before.

Wait.. how can I make it so I don't have to be the one to plant the seeds? Why don't I try altering the seeds myself? Maybe I can infuse my power in them? Holding a handful of seeds in my hands, I concentrate. Watching as the Papaya seeds change in my palm.. to grape seeds. My eyes widen and I smile. It worked! Now to see if they grow fast! Tossing one down without using my abilities, it grows slightly less fast but it still grows!

"Eureka! Just plant them and they will grow right up and produce food right away!" I bounce up and down happily, the king snaps his fingers and a servant walks over. He turns and speaks to her in Sindarin, the maid walks to me and I hand her the grape seeds. She bows before taking her leave. Thranduril takes a bushel of grapes and eats them with a small smile. Already addicted to them, he fears how delicious the wine would taste.

Thranduril looks me up and down in thought before swallowing. He nods to himself in agreement, eyes glinting in the light. "You are invited to dine with me tomorrow night with my son. I am curious of the world you hail from, how it differs from ours." My eyes widen in surprise, I clasp my hands to my chest.

"Really?" I don't have anything fancy to wear... But I could just grow it.. "I would be honored your majesty-"

"Just Thranduril." He smirks and I nod my head with a blush.

- Later -  Near Shelter -

"Lady Ellen!" Turning around from my small garden area I see Legolas approach.

"Yes your princelyness?" I say with a playful smirk, giving a little curtsey for some extra sass. Having been relaxing and recovering some energy.

"I came to ask if you would like to participate in a mission we are doing. My father has allowed me to leave the confinement of the castle to hunt down spiders who encroach upon it." He looks to me with excitement, knowing that I feel boxed in here.

"A spider murder spree?? Count me in Leggy! I've been meaning to test out my armor upgrades!" I grin to Legolas, rubbing my hands together with a sadistic grin. Cackling like a gremlin under my breath with evil intentions. Spiders will be the perfect test subject before I try it on Smaug!

"Meet us at the gate when you are prepared." Legolas nods before rushing off using his elf speed. Man, why can't I be all graceful and shit? Am I somehow half dwarf half elf?

My armor that's laying on the ground next to the house rises, rooted in the ground to nurture itself. It rises off of the ground, connecting the pieces of armor together, similar to the living armor in Delicious in Dungeon. It walks over to me, similar to how I walk. "Dragon up!" I call out to my armor, holding myself in a T-pose. The armor opens and wraps itself around me, equipping itself to my form. My helmet sliding on my head and the rams mouth closing. A vine reaches down and grabs my sword, attaching it to my belt just in case. "All ready to rock!" Large vines erupt from my back, creating a harness around my body. Lifting me off of he ground, I hover in the air like Doc Oc. With a thought my armor begins to move swiftly over obstacles, all without moving me.

Launching me over a garden wall, it climbs up and over walls and structures. Leading me straight to the gates of the city, swinging across buildings like spiderman. I soon spot Legolas and his group of rangers, I see their eyes widen when they spot me. I land gracefully, grinning behind my mask. "My Lady..?" Legolas says in awe.

"This my dear Leggy, is my full war mode. Ive been designing it while I've had free time." My mask opens, revealing my face, I grin at all the elves, moving myself closer with my mind. "Let's get rolling! Oh, here Legolas take this please." I hand him a small moss ball that pulses with light.

"What is this?" He looks to me in confusion, holding the ball in hand.

"That my dear is connected to my armor, I made my armor sentient to help with combat. If I say 'Find Legolas'." My armor moves and rushes towards him, stopping in front of him. "It will find you, regardless of where you are. That way I can follow you all without getting lost." I shrug and he nods in understanding, placing the moss ball in a pouch on his leather armor.

"I understand, follow me. Let us go!" He yells some words in Sindarin and all of the guards rush out of the kingdom with speed.

"Man.. why do I have human speed.. Follow Legolas." My armor moves and wraps around me tight, dashing through the undergrowth and through the trees. I close my eyes and allow the armor to bend my body to avoid branches, letting it mold me how it needs to.

I'm swinging along the trees like Tarzan, looking up I see Legolas above me jumping from branch to branch. I yawn while my armor does all the work. "Man, now I really know how Tony Stark feels." I mumble to myself, looking around the dark forest for any signs of spiders.

It's a few more minutes before my suit stops, and climbs upwards. Positioning me next to Legolas who's perched on a tree branch. "Look, the webs are already spreading." He speaks Sindarin to everyone making me frown. "The spiders are nearby, begin to exterminate them." He looks to me and I grin like the Cheshire cat.

"Certainly, my liege. Just ah.. watch and learn mmk?" I bow to him before my armor reads my mind and launches towards the web carefully.

Positioning myself above a good area, I hold a seed in hand and toss it down. It grows mid air and lands in the web, growing to look like a small mushroom baby. It wails out and thrashes in the webs... Soon a spider pounces on the creature. Taking the bait, only for the baby to explode in a cloud of spores that coat the spider. It hisses and backs away trying to rub them from its face but it's too late.. My spores are already invading its body, soon it becomes rigid. Crawling up to me I feel Legolas advance to kill it. "Stop!" I whisper and he lands on a branch next to me.

I grow a few more of the powder puff babies and they latch onto the dead spider. It turns around and begins to crawl back to its nest. "What did you do to it?" He asks me with confusion.

"Fungal warfare my friend." I smirk to him smugly. "I created the fake baby mushroom to thrash around and gather predators. Once it's attacked it explodes into Cordyceps spores... The fungus invades the creature as it breaths and begins to rapidly grow inside of it until nothing of the spider remains.. It takes over all bodily functions, keeping its host alive.. but nobody's exactly home if you get me. The spider is long gone, but the mushrooms are piloting its body." I giggle nefariously. "Cordyceps in my world can only control ants.. but I made some ah.. adjustments and now they can control anything."

"You are... Incredible." Legolas whispers something in Sindarin as he stares at me in awe.

"Give it a day or two and the entire hive of spiders will he controlled by my mushrooms. I've ordered them to clean their webs once the hive is decimated and to report to Erebor. I plan on using them in the battle against the army's." They're gonna burrow under the ground and erupt like trapdoor spiders. It's perfect.

"It seems we no longer must hunt this hive. The Druid has culled them all with a single mushroom." Legolas calls out to the other elves who stare at me in awe. "We return to Murkwood." He says to me and I nod.

"Actually.. I'm gonna do something, keep your mossball on you." My armor begins to move away from him, Legolas looks at me with worry and alarm.

"What do you aim to do?" Legolas asks me in confusion, following after me before I can get too far away.

"Purify your forest, duh." I roll my eyes at him and my armor begins to move. Legolas speaks to his guards before following after me full speed. Mushrooms erupt from around my armor, spores pouring from them like I'm dusting crop fields.

Flowers and trees begin to sprout from the soil, sucking in the air greedily and filtering it off the haze. A large mushroom similar to a morel rises, inhaling the air and breathing out pure life energy. Sunflowers from plants versus Zombies begin to grow and absorb the darkness in the soil. "The.. the forest..." Legolas stares in awe as I make adjustments to the morel. "I can hear it... Faintly but it's there!"

"My kids culled the darkness in the place nearby. They planted guards there using my seeds so no more baddies can enter. This mushroom will grow its mycelium throughout the forest and provide it nutrients and life. Cleaning the soil of the sickness that permeates the air." I look to Legolas and smile at him, he stares at me in awe.

"Beautiful..." He whispers in Sindarin, staring me in the eyes. I raise a brow wondering what he said.

"Well! Let's get back, I've got things to do!" I grin at him, resting my hands on my hips. He nods his head to me and begins to move through the trees.

- Next Day - Evening -

Walking outside I find a secluded area and have Flowey be a lookout. Kili grins at me, sitting on a log whistling at me when he sees me get naked. I give him a stern glare and he chuckles with a smile. I put my clothes down, tossing seeds around me. I concentrate and grow huge flowers, wrapping myself in their petals. Creating an elaborate yet elegant dress. "Whoa.." He says in awe.

(Credit: Japanese Artist Momotsuki)

Twirling around in my dress with a grin, finding it beautiful and soft against my skin. "Damn, I look good!"

"I agree my love. You give the gems in Erebor shame. They do not compare to your beauty." Kili says with eyes wide in awe, as if he's staring at a Valar.

"You flirt." I give him a smiling glare and he grins at me boyishly, winking at me. Next I work on the shoes.. I bite my lip and focus. Having large leaves wrap around my feet, using branches as the laces so they don't fall off.

(Credit: My Steampunk Style)

I sigh and look at myself in combination with the braid Kili gave me... "I look like a fairytale Elven princess.." I grumble to myself with a scowl. Signing loudly I pinch the bridge of my nose, I take a deep breath to calm myself. "It's fine! We yassified ourselves! That's all that matters.."

"They will drool over you, my love." Kili wraps his arms around me with a smile, I lean down and give him a kiss.

"Are you sure this is okay, Kili? I'm not sure if this is a date or not.." I bite my lip nervously, wrapping my arms loosely around his neck.

"It's fine my love, I trust you. I just ask that you do not fuck any of them without telling me... Anything else is fair game." he strokes my lips with a hungry gaze. "I would like to watch them pleasure you..." His hisses with a husky voice, I blush a light pink and nod my head with a soft squeak.

"I-I better get going, I'm gonna be late." Kili nods his head and gives me one last kiss before letting me go. Watching me as I leave he sighs softly with a grin.

Huffing out nervously I walk out of the hidden area and turn to Flowey who smiles at me. "Whoa! You look great Mama! Those elves are lucky guys!" He nudges his leaf elbow on my leg with a smirk, wiggling his eyebrows if he had any.

"I know, Flowey." I strike a JoJo esque pose. "I ate, and left no crumbs." Flowey snorts loudly with a laugh, doubling over in laughter. Holding at his stem in glee.

"You and your funny analogues mama... You should get going, I think the elf prince is looking for you!" Flowey smirks at me wiggling his stem and pops away. I roll my eyes at my son and walk on the pathway, looking around for the elf. Since I have no fucking clue where the dinner is being held..

I squeak loudly when someone touches my shoulder, whipping around i see an elegantly dressed Prince Legolas. "SWEET JIMMINY CHRISTMAS!" I hold a hand to my chest and exhale loudly with wild eyes. "You scared the bajeezus outta me!" I smack his chest with my hand.

"I apologize, I thought you would have heard me coming.." he says with a small smirk, looking at my elf ears.

"Just because I have elf ears doesn't mean I can hear a fly breathing heavily like you can, Greenleaf Greenleaf." I scowl at him and he grins at me roguishly.

"Well, regardless. I do say you look beautiful, Lady Ellen." Legolas says smoothly, taking my hand in his and kissing it.

"Why thank you. I didn't know where the hell to get a dress, so I made one." I say with a smug smirk twirling my flower petal dress. I look up and see Legolas holding his arm out to me. I look at him in confusion.

"Allow me to escort the lady to dinner." He smiles and I blush a light pink.

"Alright.." I loop my arm in with his and mentally giggle when I think of when Dorothy and the gang begin to travel down the yellow brick road. Arm in arm.

- Dining Room -

"Your Palace is incredible." I say for the millionth time, the guards open the doors. Looking at me with hidden awe.

"Thank you for the compliment, I'm sure my father appreciates it. He put hard work into creating a safe place for us." Thranduril looks up and his eyes widen a fraction at my dress.

"Welcome Lady Ellen, I must say you look ravishing this evening." Legolas let's go of me once I'm near his father, who takes my hand and kisses the back of it. I squint at him.

"What's with all the gentlemanly charm.. first dinner now this?" I ask as I sit down, going to move my chair only to be beat to it by Legolas. I look at him with wide eyes.

"Do men of your world not act like this normally?" Thranduril asks with curiosity.

I snort out a laugh. "Fuck no! Men in my world only want sex in my generation." I roll my eyes with a deep sigh. "They view marriage as a burden.. in the past you usually had to be married to have sex.. but now? Why bother with marriage when you can get sex with any woman you want with dating apps."

"Dating apps..?" Legolas asks with confusion.

"It's.. like a group message board. Women and men alike place photos of themselves with a brief description. If you like what you see you take the photo and if they find you attractive as well you can speak with them." I explain with a grimace.

"Ah, I see." Thranduril nods his head.

"Man are lust filled creatures." Legolas shakes his head with a scoff.

"Tell me about it." I grumble with a nod. "I've been single for almost twenty years."

"You have a partner now?" Thranduril asks, Legolas leans forward slightly

"Yes, Kili- the youngest Prince asked to court me last night." I smile with a giggle, Legolas frowns ever so slightly. Having found me to be an interesting woman. "But he agreed to allow me to be polyamorous." I say with a sigh of relief.

"What does that mean..?" Legolas asks with a squint just as servants arrive with food.

"It means having a relationship with multiple partners. Since Kili is my first, I'll talk to him before adding any more partners into the relationship." I say with a nod. "It's becoming more popular in the modern times in my world." I look around with curiosity. Thranduril and Legolas look each other, challenge in their eyes. I gasp loudly when I see it. "IS THAT LEMBAS?!?!" I point to the bread eagerly.

Both elves look to me and nod. I giggle with glee, kicking my legs under the table. Snatching up a piece. "Ahh!! I made this in my world! Well, a version of it.. since we don't have magic.."

"You should save that until after the meal beautiful one." Thranduril says something in Sindarin. I pout and set the Lembas aside.

"Fine.. spoil sport." Thranduril smirks, grabbing a goblet of wine.

Chapter Text

Written: November 5th, 2024

- Three Months Later - Garden -

Smiling wide I walk up and down the line, planting seeds in the soil. My very presence making the plants flourish around me. The elves who are in charge of the garden watch in awe.

"I knew I'd find you here." Kili grins when he steps outside the palace, walking down the steps to me he nods to the elves around. "What are you doing out here Ibinê (my gem)."

"Got bored sitting around, I have a very short attention span." I wave a finger to him before getting back to work. Providing these Elves with some more unique plants for them to cultivate. Just different varieties of stuff they already have, and stuff that's genetically modified.

"You don't need to work my love. Rest, you've earned it." He grins to me, stepping up to my side.

"Ain't no rest for the wicked." I smirk to him, plopping another seed into the hole. Potatoes begin to flourish in the soil.

"You are not wicked, Amrâlimê." Kili gives me a pointed look.

"Heh, wicked in bed maybe." I grin to him playfully wiggling my eyebrows and he blushes a light pink. "The reason I'm out here is cause the Prince and King keep wanting to talk and stuff and I'm just overstimulated. Being around plants calms me, and the king won't let me leave the palace area to go to the forest without guards. Which I don't freaking need." I huff out with a scowl, standing up with a grunt.

"You need not wait long, my love. Durin's day approaches quickly.." Kili pushes my hair behind my ear with a smile. "Only a week until we must begin our trek to the city on the lake."

"I know.. I still have to prepare more." I need to be prepared. I won't let anyone die on my watch.. I can't. I won't be able to handle it if someone dies..

"Love, you have prepared plenty!" Kili laughs with a smile on his face, rubbing his palms up and down my sides.

"No, I haven't. I haven't made you all new weapons." I sigh loudly. "I was gonna plant you all Axes and maces, but I found a room filled with broke weapons that's unusable for the elves. I discovered it the other day." I admit with a shrug, having done some exploring.

"Discovered what?" He raises a brow in confusion.

"A room full of broken weapons, I could fix them easily with my plants. Most are just broken hilts.." I sigh loudly with a frown. "I had to ask the King if I could use them all after I found them, he said I could but I would need to give him another fruit plant." I roll my eyes with a huff.

"Greedy Elf." Kili curses in Dwarvish with a growl. "What did you give him?"

"A plant from a game in my world, it's called Ancient Fruit. It tasted like an orgasm and an apple has a baby and was made physical. He enjoyed it and allowed me to take all the broken stuff." I shrug with indifference.

"I'll help you with the weapons love, bring me to them. Maybe we can brainstorm how to make them better? And who would like what weapon?" Kili smiles at me and I beam at him, leaning down to give him a kiss.

"Thank you Kii.." I sigh with relief, my shoulders slouching.

"No problem ‘Ibinê.." he smiles at me as if I've hung the stars. Kissing me gently on the lips, standing on his tippy toes.

- Storage -

Kili grunts as he hauls the pot of soil through the door, dropping it with a grunt. He looks around in curiosity, seeing broken weapons litter the walls and in boxes. "These must have been from wars.." Kili says as he walks in, he grabs an elvish bow from the wall. The wood is snapped clean in two.

"Pick what you want, Kii. I'll fix it up for you." I smile at him and he nods, walking around the room to find something interesting.

As I prepare my bag of seeds and adjust the pot, he walks back with a beautiful bow and a few knife blades. "Set them in the soil." Kili nods and breaks off the rest of the broken piece, setting the blade in the soil. I drop a seed on it and place my hands on the side of the pot.

The tree grows around the knife, becoming its new handle.. I also make a holster for it.. A bit of sap drips down the blade I pick it up. Grinning maliciously at the pain this will cause. The scum Sauron made only deserves the best after all.. "What's that stuff?" He gestures to the sap dripping into the holster.

"Poisonous sap, it will paralyze your opponent for a period of time if you slice them." I smile at him, fixing up the other knife. "This one's sap will inflict incredible pain that will last days. But if you rub the bottom of the holster, it will ooze the antidote if you accidentally cut someone." I look to him and he nods. Wrapping them around his belt with a grin, the holsters attach themselves eagerly.

"For the bow, I had the wood strengthen the metal and give it more power." I hand it to him and he pulls I back with a grunt. "It can lengthen and shorten to a short or long bow. Just rub the knot right there." I point at the small wood knot near where he would hold his hand.

Kili rubs it and the bow shrinks, turning into a short bow. "This is incredible my love!" He grins at me with excitement.

"Now, who likes what weapons?" I look to him and he hums, stroking his bare chin in thought.

"Bifur, Bofur and Thorin would like axes.. Bombur, Oin, Gloin and Dwalin like hammers... Fili and Nori like knives. Ori would love a slingshot. Balin used maces. Thorin and Fili also benefit from swords if you can." He says with a smile, bouncing on the balls of his feet for a moment.

"Grab me what you think they would like. I'll make Ori a custom slingshot and ammo." Gonna make Links slingshot look like he bought it at the dollar store. I turn around and get to work, planting and adjusting the plant. Making the rubber portion a rubber tree branch. It stretches and will allow for more power. I designed it to look like a professional slingshot. The wood is nice and sturdy too! I grab a handful of seeds and edit them with my mind, creating pouches to contain them.

I spend most of the day down there, fixing weapons and enhancing them with my plants. I stopped by the kitchen as well, asking the cooks if they have a frying pan they don't use. They gave me a really banged up one and I thought it was perfect. It will make the best weapon for Bilbo!

- Later -

It takes us a while but we make it back to our shelter with all the weapons. "I've got gifts!" I call out to the door with a grin, all of the party walks out.

"What is all this?" Dwalin raises a brow, his arms crossed over his chest. Looking at all of the elvish looking blades attached to wood and plants.

"A gift! The king had a bunch of broken weapons in storage, I asked to use them and he agreed! So now I present to you... Your new weapons! All Elven steel!" Nori walks up and grabs a knife with his name on it, it's shaped like a Kunai.

He twirls it around in his hand expertly before looking to me. "It will do." He nods with a grin of satisfaction.

Balin walk over and Kili and him the mace, Balin stares at it like Christmas has come early. "Oh! This is wonderful dear. Thank you. My old weapon was getting quite chipped." He nods to me and I smile with a giggle.

"No problem Balin, enjoy your weapons." He nods and walks back to the house to polish his mace in his room. Looking around the crowd I find the two meek members of our party. "Bilbo! Ori! I've got some weapons for you too!"

"Me?" Ori looks confused as he steps up, his old slingshot looking worse for wear.

"I don't need another weapon, I have the blade Gandalf gave me." Bilbo says nervously, patting the short sword at his side.

"Well too bad! first we have Ori." I hand him his slingshot and a couple colored pouches filled with seeds. "This is a professional slingshot design from my world. Give it a go with the seeds in the brown bag."

He holds it up, grabbing a seed he put it in the little basket. Pulling it back he aims at a tree and lets go, the sound of a gunshot goes off and a hole appears in the tree. "Mahal's balls!!!" Ori yells out in shock.

"Ori!" Dori rests his hand on his hips. "No foul language!" Dori scowls at him while Nori laughs behind his hand.

"Sorry.." Ori grimaces while inspecting his weapon with a smile.

"Each pouch is a different type of ammo, the pouches are self replenishing." I made them have tiny seed bearing branches inside of the bags. I sort of did a similar thing to the quivers for the bows I made. "The red bag is explosive ammo, brown is regular, purple is toxic and grey is slicing." I gesture to all the pouches and he nods with a grin.

"Thank you, Ellen!" Ori hugs me tight with a squeeze, beaming with excitement.

"It's no problem, Ori! You'll need a good weapon for the battle ahead!" I grin as he steps back, he runs over to his brother's with excitement. Wanting to show them his new weapon. "Bilbo, I know you don't feel comfortable with Sting just yet."

"Sting?" He asks me in confusion.

"That's what you named it in the story." I explain ajd he nods with a hum.

"Sting.. I quite like that.." he nods with a small smile, looking back up to me.

"I know you don't feel comfortable with Sting, so." I present to him the long handled frying pan. "This will make a good blunt weapon, or shield. Depending on how you hold it."

Bilbo grabs it from me nervously, holding it like a shield. The branch wraps around his arm to keep it secure.  He startles slightly but flexes his hand, moving his arm around to get a sense of the weight. He nods to himself, finding it agreeable. "This is incredible, thank you Ellen." He looks up to me and smile, I sigh with relief and smiles back to him. Happy that he likes it.

"Well I can't have my favorite Hobbit be hurt, now can I? I've also got an outfits for everyone when you all distract the dragon.

"We would be lost without you." Bilbo laughs softly with a warm smile. I blush a light pink and just smile.

"Whoa.." Hearing Legolas' voice I turn around and notice he's walked into the garden. Looking at the weapons in awe as he walks towards me. "You took the broken weapons?" He looks to me with a small smile.

"She made them all new again!" Kili boasts with a grin, wrapping his arm around my waist. Looking up to me with a smile of pride.

"Could you make me a bow..?" Legolas asks me nervously, eyes flicking to Kili.

"Sure, come here." I smile and shrug my shoulders, happy to be of help. Legolas walks up beside me and looks at my face, eyes flicking to my lips for a millisecond. But Kili notices.

Holding a seed in my hand I force it to grow with a grunt, my brows furrowed in concentration. The seed transforms and bursts open, a sapling grows in my palm. Its roots wrapping around my fingers happily as it grows. I slowly form it using my magic and Bonsai techniques to make it into an elegant bow shape. Forcing the ends into the shape of crying eagles, leaves burst from the tops appearing as feathers. The middle of the bow looks like it's two eagles in a death grips the whole thing simulating two eagles free falling while their talons are connected.

Grabbing Legolas and pulling him close, my mind in full concentration. I grab his hand and force him to hold the bow. "Pull." Legolas gulps and pulls back the string.

"Too weak." He comments and I hum, he rests the bow back and the eagles on the wood cry silently. The string tightens and I look to him, nodding once. He pulls again with a grunt, I loosen it slightly and he nods with a smile. "It is perfect." He looks to me with a grin. "What wood is it made of?"

"Hm? Oh ah.." I scratch the side of my face, avoiding looking at him. "Yggdrasil.." I mumble under my breath.

"Yggdrasil? Is that a form of tree?" He asks me with a tilt of his head.

"It's ah.. the ehm.. Nordic people saw Yggdrasil as the tree that held up the realms.. I told my magic to make it Yggdrasil.. give it a shot." Kili pulls an wooden arrow from his quiver, handing it to the elf.

Legolas takes it with a nod, knocking the arrow he pulls back. Aiming at a tree, he lets loose and sparkles of stars erupt from the bow. The arrow hits it's mark and stars explode around the tree... And it falls over with a booming crash. Everyone stares in awe at the tree. "I ah.. should have gone with something less deadly.." I grimace slightly, gently taking the bow from Legolas. "Let me make some modifications-"

"I enjoy the power beautiful one. There is no need to change it." He smiles to me, eyes intently watching my face.

"But wouldn't you want a more stealthy mode?" I ask with hands on my hips. "Being flashy with your killing isn't always a good thing. You may have to snipe a target that's behind another, with this bows power it would kill both of them." I snatch the bow from him, holding it in my hands I concentrate. The wood on one side of the bow changes color, turning into a standard but powerful bow. "There, sparkly wood side up is explosion mode. Normal wood up is normal kill." I hand it back to him and he inspects the bow with a growing smile.

"Thank you. I will treasure this always."

Chapter Text

Written: November 5th, 2024

- Two Days Later -

Sighing loudly I wipe the sweat from my brow, plucking the plants from the ground I toss them in my mortar. Grinding them down into a powder with concentration.

"Will you explain to me why there are spiders outside my kingdom.. just standing there?" Thranduril walks into the clearing where I'm making my healing herbs.

"Oh uh, I figured we could use them as transportation for the dwarves and whoever. I already have other spiders at Erebor digging holes for trapdoors." I look to him before returning to my task. Plucking some Dittany from Harry Potter I toss it in, grabbing a tomato from Kirby I slice it up and toss it in as well. I mash it up with a scowl of concentration.

"What are you making..?" Thranduril asks with curiosity.

"Healing goo." I state mushing the stuff together, I inspect it. Grabbing my knife I slice my upper arm making Thranduril gasp, he rushes forward but I get a finger full of the goo and smear it on.. and the wound heals as if nothing happened. "Good, this batch works just as intended." I grab my notebook made of trees and paper bark and write it down.

"Why would you harm yourself shining star?" Thranduril looks at me in disbelief.

"How else am I gonna make sure it works?" I look up to him and scoff out a laugh. He looks down at my upper arms and sees several scars already that weren't there the other day. "I have to check now to see if it can heal a chopped leg off.." I say with a huff. "No idea how I'm gonna do that though." I sure as fuck ain't gonna chop my own leg off to test it.

"We have some elves who have lost limbs in past battles. I shall order them to help you with your experiment." Thranduril stands up straight, resting his hands behind himself. Why is this dude being so nice? He was such an asshole in the movie.. it must have been some favor Elrond called in.

"You would?" I look to him in disbelief, I turn back to my goo and put it in a wooden box I just grew.

"Certainly shining star. If it will help save lives in the battlefield." Thranduril looks at me with lidded eyes. "Why are you working so hard on this?" He asks me with curiosity.

"For you." I smile at him nervously, I hand him the jar of goo. "For your face.." Thranduril looks at me in disbelief, I would harm myself to try learn how to heal him?

"I.. am sorry you had to witness.." Thranduril touches his injury hidden by his glamour. The burn of dragon fire that still consumes his flesh to this day.. He's always in excruciating pain, that's why he drinks himself numb. Just to try and dull it.

"I've seen worse on horror movies. Freddie Kruger would give you nightmares." I wave him off with a smile, not meaning offense. "Just heal yourself, seeing anyone in pain makes me hurt." I had to live with my mother who had Chronic pain.. I couldn't do anything about it and it killed me inside.

"I.. thank you." Thranduril bows his head, holding the jar in hand. He quick turns and exits the room, ordering an elf in Sindarin to collect the amputees. He rushes to his room to administer the mixture by himself.

- Late Night -

An elf missing his leg sits on my bench, watching me as I grind the herbs with a scowl. "Fucking stupid ass goddamn.." I mumble under my breath, having had failure after failure.

I've decided to go all fucking out and add the heart fruit from Terraria that you get in the jungle biome to the mixture, as well as some Senzu beans from dragon ball. Some red and green mushrooms from Mario, and a piece of a golden apple from Minecraft. As well as all the stuff from the previous mixture.

I mashed it all together, looking at the gooey mess I huff. Grabbing it on my hands, the elf lifts his leg for me. I scoot closer and slather it on his injured nub.. and wait. The elves face scrunches up as if he's not sure what to make of the sensation. Slowly, from the stump just like Deadpool.. a small leg bursts forth, growing longer and longer, filling itself out until it slowly returns his leg to normal size. "Heh... heha.... HAHAHAH!!!!!" I lean back with my hands at my sides in the air. Doing a Dio like loud cackle like an evil scientist, deprived of sleep but so fucking happy.

"Incredible!!!" The elf stares at his new un-blemished leg in disbelief, he looks to me in shock and I smile at him with a manic grin. I quickly get to work and make a huge tub of the stuff. Still giggling like an insane woman while I grind up more.

- One Hour Later -

"Oi! Guard guy!" I point to the guard that's staring at us, my eyes lidded with exhaustion. "Give this to your healers, have all of your amputees- or shit anyone with a medical problem. Smear or eat it." I hand the guard the tub and turn around walking back into the house I fall into my bed and pass out. I'll work on more healing items tomorrow..

- Next Day -
- Two Days Till Departure -

Waking up with a grumble, I grow a banana for breakfast and walk outside without talking to any dwarves. Kili looks at me with concern when I zombie walk. "I would kill for a cup of coffee.." I mumble while sitting on my stump, all the plants regrow around me once more. I grab my book and read the recipe I wrote down and begin to make healing salve..

It's a few hours later when Thranduril and Legolas arrive. I hear someone clear their throat and look up, idly munching on fruit sleepily. "Oh uh.." I rub the sleep from my eyes with a grumble. "Hello your majesties.." I greet with a wave, before turning and getting back to work. I need quadruple the amount of salve for the battle ahead.

"She looks exhausted, Mel'hoth said she spent all night and well into the next morning working on the healing salve.." Legolas whispers to his father in Sindarin while they stare at me in worry. The elves can see the dwarves watching her through a window. "The healers tell me the entire kingdom has no more amputees.. or any gravely ill."

"Let us help her. It should be simple." Thranduril looks to his son who nods, they both stride forward. "We have come to help you."

"Huh..?" I look at them in confusion, looking up from my work. I toss in a Senzu bean that was in my hand.

"One woman alone cannot make enough medicine for an army, shining star." He says with a smirk.

"Let us help you with this, tell us the recipe and we shall follow it." I blink at them for a moment before stumps and mortars appear from the ground. All of the plants within reach. I made all the plants similar to the tree species that's like the same plant that's also the entire forest? I can't remember the name. It's like a single mycelium network creating multiple mushrooms.

"Knock yourself out." I grumble, a slab of wood grows nearby. Showing images of the plant and the amount. "Copy.." i point to the board, my eyes blinking heavily. "Jars grow.." I yawn loudly, not bothering to cover my face. "There.." i point to the weird tree that has small wooden tubs ready to be broken off and spoons appear beside them on branches.

Legolas sits down on a stump, rolling up his sleeves and gets to work, tossing in ingredients and measuring them properly. He begins to mash them together. Thranduril quickly follows his sons lead, rolling up his sleeves. Kili walks out and looks around in confusion. Fili and Balin walking out behind him. "‘Ibinê?.is everything alright? I brought you some lunch?" He looks to the elves and all of the plants. "What are you doing out here?"

"She is supplying the army's with healing salves all by herself." Legolas glares slightly at the dwarves. Pissed off that they did not come out sooner, but they were busy discussing plans for the battle.

"Stubborn woman." Kili growls with a frown. "Why didn't you ask for help?"

"Y'all need to rest your bodies for the battle ahead." I say to him with a meek look. "I don't.. all I do is sling plants around.

Kili sighs loudly and looks to Fili who nods, turning around he walks into the shelter and the entire company walks out. "Let us help you, Sister in-law." Fili says with a huff and I sigh, many more stools and plants begin to erupt from the ground.

"Alright! Get to work!" Thorin bellows out, sitting down he begins to toss ingredients into his bowl. I smile slightly at everyone, even Bilbo and Ori are helping...

"Thank you.. everyone." I smile at them and they smile back at me, except Dwalin and Nori. They're tsundere's.

- One Week Later -

It's taken a week, but we've finally road through Murkwood. Venturing out of the woodland realm, everyone mounted on horses. Except the company who is mounted on the mushroom spider mechs. The spider exoskeletons walk through the forest speedily, following along with the quick horses.

"This is disgusting!" Ori says with a frown on his face, not fond of this at all.

"Waste not want not Ori!" I bellow out with a laugh, riding the biggest spider. Thranduril rides Moose through the trees with grace, looking attractive as hell.

We soon approach the place where Bard is, he looks up in shock when he sees all of us. "Your majesty?" He looks to the king in confusion, wondering why an army has arrived.

"Bargeman." He nods to the man and I ride up beside the king, Bard stumbles back with wide eyes when he sees the spider with dead eye.

"Howdy Bard! I need that black arrow that's in your house!" I smile at him, leaning forward on my steer. He freezes in shock, alarmed I know his name and that he has the last black arrow.

"How-" he looks to me, incredibly shake.

"The girl is a Seer and Druid." Thranduril states with a lazy drawl. "She is going to slay the dragon held within the mountain, she foresaw it." Bard eyes widen even more.

My brain suddenly remembers something and I smirk. "Oh! Your majesty?" I look to Thranduril, he looks to me with a brow raised. "Can I commit a double homicide? Real quick?" I give him my best puppy dog eyes, he bawks at me.

"Who do you with to kill shining star? I shall rend their head from their necks." He leans forward on his mount to look me in the eyes.

"The master and his greasy git of a minion." I scowl with hatred, clenching my fists I breath through my nose. "He left the entire town to die in a boat filled with all the riches."

"Hmh... very well, you may cull the vermin." He waves it off and I beam with happiness.

"Yay! I'm gonna send in a minion!" Two smaller spiders burst forward from the pack, they dive into the water and disappear under the blackness.

"I have hated that greedy man for a long time." Legolas says with a scowl on his face.

"Yaaay!!! Let's make a fast track to Erebor!!" I giggle with glee, my spider walks forward and I toss seeds into the water that erupt into HUGE lily pads that anchor themselves to the bottom and each other. Creating a one shot bridge to Erebor, and from Erebor to Laketown. "HIGH HO SILVER! AWAY!!!" My spider kicks into gear, I grab Bard with my armor vines and lift him up onto my steed he yells out in alarm.

"Sorry, no time." I explain while my spider lands on a Lilypad that frees itself and begins to float quickly to make town. "I'll meet you all at Erebor!!!" I call out to everyone, I see a worried look on Kili's eyes. Legolas jumps onto my lilypad which makes it tilt slightly. "Leggy?" I look to him in confusion.

"The guards will question you rosebud. My presence shall stop them." Legolas jumps on the thorax of the spider, crouching down on it.

"Oh.. forgot about that." I giggle nervously as we float towards the bridge that leads to town, my spider steps up and on before running towards the town.

"How uhm.. how did you know I hold the arrow? You're a seer?" Bard asks from behind me, his arms wrapped around me.

"Yes! Oh shit! Sorry I didn't tell you my name, I'm Ellen!" I smile to Bard who nods slightly. Still quite shaken about this whole ordeal. "I know you're the rightful heir to Dale! So you kept the arrow! I'm gonna use it to kill Smaug, then I'll give it back to ya." I smile to him and he nods in thanks. "Your whole town will need to evacuate to Dale. You need to take charge, an army of Orcs, Goblins and the like is on its way. If everyone's in Dale I can protect them." I look to him with urgency and he pales.

"I.. I understand.." he nods once with an exhale.

My tendrils react suddenly and grab an arrow that was just shot at me, I glare up at a guard who stands at the guard post with a bow. "SHOOTING ME IS RUDE!" i scream at the top of my lungs. Seaweed erupts from the lake and wraps around him, lifting him in the air. He screams in alarm as I ride past, dropping him in a heap. "Fuckin asshole." I shake my head in disbelief as we enter the town. Bard gives us directions towards his house with a frown.

I hear screams of people as we pass peacefully through the area. We stop in front of his house and the spider lowers to the ground. He slides off it's back and rushes to the house, Legolas stands and wields his bow drawing it quickly. "Drop your weapon, you are interfering in matters of the Woodland Realm." He scowls with hatred at a guard armed with a sword that came from behind us. The man lowers his blade.

"My apologies- we heard screams of a spider invading." The guard bows his head, sheathing his sword.

"The spider can not harm anyone." Legolas states with a glare.

"But two just killed the master!" The guard yells at Legolas, clenching his fists.

"A man who insists he be called Master does not have the best intentions. He views everyone in this town as slaves. He was scum, so I removed him from the earth." I glare at the guard with dead eyes. "Bard is the rightful leader of this town." I say just as the man walks outside with the arrow.

"Sir...." he hands the arrow to Legolas. I toss seeds to the ground and several more Chestnuts form from the wood. Large branches filled with acorns on their backs to grow more of them.

"Have your people load up the necessity's onto these horses. If you run out of room they will duplicate to make more. You have a few days to get to Dale. Don't worry about food, I can grow you plenty."  I look to Bard with full seriousness.

Bard sighs loudly, running his fingers through his hair. "I.. I shall take up the mantle. Thank you.."

"Thank you Bard. You're a kickass guy, my dude." I give him a wink, forcing one of the Chestnuts to go grab all the gold in the masters treasury with a thought. It wanders off with haste towards the masters house. "Onward! To Adventure!" I call out to my beast, it hisses like the sound of a mushroom creaking and bursts into speed. Legolas sits down behind me once we are out of sight of the people, wrapping his arms around me. The arrow attached to the spiders ass using mycelium.

I squeak loudly when I feel the Elf breathing on my neck, he grins at this. "You.. are a formidable woman Ellen." He purrs out and I blush a bright red. "Will your lover mind..?" He asks me softly, nuzzling his nose behind my ear. Shuddering slightly at the scent of me, it smells of home.

"N-No.. Kili u-understands..." I say softly, Legolas smirks at the effect he's having on me.

"Do you mind?" He asks he huskily and I shake my head no. He smirks at this pushing me even tighter against his body, and my face is on fire. As we move along the lilypads, my body grinds and moves against his own. He groans into my ear sexually, his cock rubbing against my body sinfully... God he wants to take me horse riding just to fuck me while in gallop.

"Oh sweet Jesus.." I whisper to myself with wide eyes filled with shock that this is happening, he laughs behind me.

"What's the matter rosebud, do I make you nervous~?" He kisses at the skin of my neck, I whimper at this.

"Of course you do! You're hot as fuck!" I whine out and he laughs against my skin.

"When this battle is over, I plan to fuck you covered in the blood of our enemies." He growls against my neck in Sindarin. Legolas looks up and sees that they're quickly approaching the others. He grins at me, realizing I increased the speed of the spider. He reluctantly pulls away from my body, but not without kissing my neck some more. "You make me feel 200 again.." he whispers against my neck, giving it one last kiss before pulling away completely.

"Fucking tease..." I grumble with a scowl. Planning on using this anger while ripping Smaug to shreds.

"Ah! There ya are lass!" Bofur calls out with a smile, happily riding his baby spider. "Did ya get the arrow?" He asks me eagerly and I nod.

"Yup! Bard happily gave it over. Once we arrive I'm going to have my kids build fortifications for Dale... Mind the fields! If there's a flower that looks like a spider web! Be cautious during the battle! The hidden spider traps are there! The enemy will have to get through them to get to us!" I yell out so dwarves and elves alike can hear.

- Two Days Later -

Finally reaching the city of Dale, Legolas jumps from my spider and walks towards his father. Elves already setting up the tents.

I dismount my spider and toss seeds around, quickly assembling a tent of our own. "Mama!" Hearing a deep voice that I've missed I see Groot, Spruce, Daisy and Tulip walk over with smiles.

"My babies!!" I call out and hold my arms open, Groot picks me up and hugs me like a teddy bear. I give him a happy squeeze, being passed around by all of them.

"We miss you." Daisy says with a frown.

"I know babies, I missed you all too. Do you wanna help mom? I need to make the city safe."

"We help mama!" Tulip jumps up and down eagerly.

"I'm gonna make some siblings for you while you work... Here." I hand them bags of pre altered seeds. Mostly Piranha plants and razor briars as well as plants that will make unbreakable walls. I tell my children which ones are which and they nod, quickly looking around for food areas to hide the humans. I toss some seeds around some more, and create more female Groots. I don't give them names, wanting them to name themselves.

I huff and am stopped from working by Thorin who calls over to me. I walk over to him. "Yeah?" I ask him with a sigh of exhaustion already.

"We leave for the mountain at first light. We must go on foot, I fear the dragon could hear the hoof beats." Thorin crosses his arms over his chest.

"Alright, I'll just set my kids up with food seeds then." I run my fingers through my hair with an exhale.

"Get some rest, Seer." He nods to me before walking away.

Chapter Text

Written: November 6th, 2024

- Next Day - Sunset -

Helping the dwarves up the mountain side, we all soon reach the apex. My plants lifting us in the air and over the final overhang. "Fuck! Who's bright idea was it to put the super secret entrance so fucking high up!! Stairs are ABOMINATIONS!" I say loudly as I lean against a the statue. Wheezing loudly as I collect my breath.

"I agree.. my love.." Kili pants beside me, sitting down to rest.

"We.. gotta wait.. for Moonlight.. then.. It'll.. open!" I wheeze again before dropping down to rest. I see Thorin begin to pace and I frown. "It's already effecting him." I say to Kili and he looks at me in confusion.

"What is?" Kili asks me softly, holding my hand in his.

"Dragon sickness. Your Uncle was exposed to one of the rings your grandfather wore. It effecting him mentally." I watch Thorin with worry.

"Sigin-adad (grandfather)..? What was wrong with his ring? It has been passed down through generations!"

"Kili, that ring was made by Sauron. Once he gets the one ring he will use it to control all the worlds leaders who still wear their rings." Kili's eyes widen in shock at this information.

"I.. I didn't know about that.." he mumbles softly with a frown, looking down at a flower sitting next to him.

The sun begins to set and everyone stands up from their seats. Looking to Thorin he holds the key in his hand, darkness covers the sky.. and the moon shines, the lock glows. He rushes and pushes the key inside, turning it with a click. We all grin in relief that it worked. He looks to me with a smile, moving to enter I call out. "Wait." He stops before setting a foot inside, looking back to me with slight anger.

"What is it, Ellen?" Reaching into my pack, I grab the thirteen pouches I've prepared. As well as the jars of healing goo.

"Ammo and medicine." I say with a smirk. "While in Murkwood I did some experiments, and I found out I can alter seeds! So, these bags are filled with fireproof walls of ivy." I hold up the rabbit skin pouches. "And these are filled with shit to slow him down." I hold up the leaf pouches. "Toss em and they'll go for Smaug."

"That's what you've been doing?" Kili says with a smile.

"Damn right. I want you all to distract him while I set up. I'm going to make a huge harpoon gun in the main hall towards the exit. When he goes to flee I'll shoot him with the black arrow. My plant won't miss its target." I say with determination in my eyes.

"We can keep the beast busy." Balin nods his head, looking to Thorin who nods.

"Bilbo come here." He looks to me in confusion but steps up. "You stink of dwarf because you've been around us for so long." I plant some seeds and flowers begin to grow around his clothes. Filling the air with the thick scent, I also hand him a small golden flower. "Your job is to search for the Arkenstone secretly while making it seem that you came to gift Smaug this flower. Tell him it's one of a kind and that the might beast deserve it for his hoard... He's a narcissist, get him talking." Bilbo gulps nervously but takes the flower with a shaky exhale.

"What will you be doing..?" He asks me.

"Thorin is going to lead me through the halls to the main entryway." Thorin looks surprised at this. "I don't know my way around."

"Alright. I can show you the way, Fili. You're in charge of leading the distraction." Thorin looks to his heir who nods his head in determination.

"Alright... Let's do this." Leeroy Jenkins... I take a deep breath, Thorin leads the way inside. A torch of glowing moss leading the way.

I can hear Balin cry softly when he sees the decomposed body's on the floor by the hidden door. I rest my hand on his shoulder, giving him a hug. "Thank yae lass.." he whispers to me softly and I smile to him.

We soon enter a storage area. "Everyone leave anything that you can't run with here." Thorin looks to the group who nods. "Mr. Baggins.. it's your turn, follow the markings that look like this." Thorin uses his sheath to draw a symbol in the dust.

"Okay.. upside down y with a cross through it. Easy enough." He mumbles softly to himself.

Walking up to Bilbo I give him a hug whispering softly into his ear  "Use the ring, but be cautious. He can still smell and hear you..." His eyes widen in shock but I lean back. "Godspeed Bilbo." I say to him with a smile, he exhales shakily nodding his head.  He shakes his head and takes a small glow moss torch. He steels his nerves, potted plant under his arm her begins to walk through the tunnels. "Lead the way Thorin." He nods and looks back to his company.

"Well be fine, Uncle. Balin will lead us to the forges." Fili says with a firm nod, clenching his fists at his sides. Coming into his Kingly persona he was raised into.

"Follow me.. Ellen." Thorin looks to me before quickly walking through the halls, I rush after him as quickly as I can.

"Your home is beautiful." I whisper to Thorin with a smile.

"Thank you, I will show you around once the beast is dead." He gives me a warm smile, the mountain shakes slightly.

"Smaug is chasing after Bilbo." I state to Thorin who's eyes widen, he picks up the pace.

We soon reach the entryway, but we're slightly above it. Wrapping my arms around Thorin from behind, his eyes widen. "Hold on!" Branches erupt form my back, my mask closing. My harness wraps around Thorin as well, I leap from the ledge landing on the ground. Using the long branches I run forward, setting him down in a safe place. "Stay here okay? Spread these around the door." I hand him a big pouch, he takes it and nods rushing to the huge archway.

Cracking my neck. "Let's go girls.." I run up the halls, pulling seeds from pouches all over my body. They take longer to sprout but they eventually do on the stone. Tossing a handful near the entrance, my ballista begins to grow. I drop the black arrow I held on my back and the growing branches grab it lifting it up as it gains height.

I run up and down the halls once more, tossing seeds everywhere. Watching as they sprout tiny spring locked briars waiting for my command to pierce into the dragons delicate wings. The mountain shakes again and I hear a roar. I look around and go through a mental checklist frantically. Nodding to myself I run and hide behind a pillar, having flowers bloom all around the area, filling the air with their pungent scent. Smaug won't be able to smell anything.

Thorin slides in next to me just as the huge Dragon runs into the room. "THE PEOPLE OF LAKETOWN WILL PAY FOR YOUR INSOLENCE!! THEY WILL BURN!!!!" Just as Smaug goes to take off, I blow a small horn I attuned all my plants too.

My briars burst from the ground like springs, piercing through the delicate scales of his wings. Smaug shrieks out as his wings are shredded making him fall forward onto the ground in a heap. The seeds by the door break open and grow quickly, blocking the door. Making so he can't escape even if he wanted too.

The briars wrap around the dragon from all sides digging into the stone pinning him down. He roars out in rage lifting himself off of the ground slightly, putting strain on the briars. I hear them creaking as they slowly break under the pressure. Shit!!! I sprint out of hiding. Smaug seeing movement looks to me with wide eyes full of recognition. "DRUID.." He says to himself. I fling three huge bags of seeds under his belly with a roar. They sprout and begin to grow up towards him. "A DRUID?!?! NO!! YOUR KIND DIED-" Smaug thrashes about with an ear shattering roar. "I WILL NOT DIE BY YOUR HANDS!!! HAND OF VALAR!!! BURN IN DRAGONFIRE!!!!" He opens his mouth and exhales a stream of fire right at me. My armor moves and large palm trees burst from my back, acting as a shield in front of me.

"ELLEN?!?!??" Thorin screams out in despair. I choke on the air, the temperature too hot. C'mon you fucking lizard! You need to breath!! You stupid gecko! Give me an opening!

The stream of flame ends and the palm trees pull back, I roar and throw seeds at him that grow mid air. Thick vines open wide as a net, landing on his snout as he struggles on the floor. Digging huge holes in the stone with his claws. The vines quickly wrap around his mouth and squeeze hard, he growls out. His throat glowing red with heat, unable to breath fire or else he'll burn his mouth. His mouth isn't fireproof only the tune that goes to his fire bladder, that's why they open their jaws so big. So they don't burn themselves.

"You're no better then an alligator. A bit o tape and you're a big baby!" I snicker out to the dragon. Grunting in concentration, I move my briars in unison. They raise the dragon into the air, he thrashes around with a muffled roar. The vines squeeze harshly onto him, restraining him further. Exposing his belly and the missing scale. "Remember this old thing? Should bring back some memories.. I based the design on the one that shot you!" I gesture to the wind lance that has grown, taking aim at his weak point. Smaug looks at me with genuine primal fear, becoming tried from his thrashing. "This is for Erebor you overgrown salamander." I snarl out at him with hatred, my eyes glowing a bright green. Swirling green energy's float around me. The wind lance fires full force, the arrow whistles through the air hitting it's mark. Smaug screams are muffled he thrashes around, breaking some briars. I back away, grabbing Thorin I lift us up and out of harms way. Using my vines to climb up onto a wall.

Smaug rolls around for a few moments in death throws.. until he stops moving, he lays still eyes dialing completely. He exhales one last time body going limp. "You.. you did it.." Thorin says in awe, staring at the dead dragon below us. I slowly lower us down to the ground, letting him step away.

I take a look at the body and click my tongue, kicking a rock across the floor. "Man, I can't make him an effective puppet now.." I sigh looking at the wings that are bleeding everywhere. He won't be able to fly in this condition, and I bet anything I make will be able to withstand the force needed to put this guy in the air.

"I'll go collect everyone. Stay here." Thorin looks to me and I nod, grabbing my sword I step forward with an excited giggle.

"Dragon meat~ dragon meat~ Lets all eat some dragon meat~" I sing in the same time as Dragon Tales. Stabbing my sword into the hole I shot the black arrow. I grunt with effort, slicing around and in-between scales to get a good opening. "Dig a tunnel diga diga tunnel~" needing to retrieve the black arrow for Bard.

- An Hour Later -

Using my branches to help with the cutting I'm making huge headway towards the lance that's in arms reach. Lodged in the dragons spine. "I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole! Diggy Diggy Hole, Diggy Diggy Hole!" I sing loudly to myself. I hear voices and turn around, exiting the dragons meat tunnel (hah). Holding a massive chunk of dragon meat in my arms, a manic smile on my face. Taking it over to the mini camp I set up, I plop the meat right on the flower, letting it cook. Wiping what I think is sweat from my face... But is in fact blood.

"Already cut into it I see?" Dwalin laughs loudly and I smile, looking at me with a grimace.

"I can't pass up eating dragon!! Thorin said if I killed it I keep it's carcass!" I point to Thorin who nods, looking distracted. I'm gonna make Dragon skin boots!

"We need to find the Arkenstone. We have no time for these silly games." Thorin growls deeply with a scowl.

"Now I know you ain't talking to me like that Thorin." I growl right back to him resting my hands on my hips. "I'll have my son's look for the stone for you. Unless.. Bilbo did you find it?" I look to the Hobbit.

"I uhm.." I give him a look and he nods, pulling it out of his pocket. "Yes, I nicked it while the dragon was chasing me." Thorin dashes forward to grab it, holding it in his hands.

"Well, that's settled. We shall call for Dain." Balin nods with a hesitant smile.

"Well uh.. Dragons on the menu, do y'all wanna help me gut and skin it?" I ask with a smile of excitement. "I need the help. I need it's fire bladder and the tube that leads to the throat. Pet project." I smirk and they all look at me with a squint.

"I can help." Nori huffs out with a roll of his eyes "I know how to gut and prepare animals, but i want a dragon tooth dagger." He looks to me with a point and I nod in agreement.

"Done, I was already gonna make something for everyone! I'll go get Flowey to send Groot and his family over with our things." I nod and use my armor to move me towards the entrance of the city.

Climbing over the steep rocks in the doorway, I make it outside and see Flowey waiting on a patch of dirt. "Mama! Are you okay?!??? Why are you covered in blood?!" He screams out in alarm, I look down and realize I'm covered in dragon blood. Head to tow. I look like Bloody Mary.. or Carrie.

"It's not mine, it's Smaug's. He's been defeated, I need the Groot's to come help me skin it and preserve the hide and meat. Have Chestnut bring our supplies. Tell Thranduril and Bard that the dragons dead."

"Okay mama!" Flowey nods with a smile, disappearing into the soil.

Heading back inside, I look around and sigh softly. Seeing all the boulders and bones littering the area. "This is gonna be a fixer upper, I've got my work cut out for me." I sigh loudly, thinking about how I'm gonna fix the stone.. perhaps a form of glue could work?

"We can help too love." Kili smiles at me. "Irak'adad said Smaug breathed fire on you?? Are you okay? How are you not dead??" His smile turns to worry real quick, holding me at arms length to assess me.

"Two words. Palm. Trees." I smirk to Kili who looks confused. "They can withstand molten lava, of course they can withstand dragon fire. The trees hold water in the bark making it impossible to burn them." I run my fingers through my hair with a sigh.

"I'll start cooking up the meat!" Bombur smiles and gets right to work, having Fili go get their bags.

- Three Hours Later -

Feasting on dragon meat with the party, it's actually quite delicious! Very spicy flavor though. "Y'all wouldn't be able to handle Kimchi." I sigh and shake my head at them.

"Mama!" Groot steps into the hall with a smile, Chestnut running up to us with a snort.

"Oh thank goodness! I need your help finding Thranduril's necklace. Can you all look? I need to begin repairs on the doorway." I gesture to the broken doorway, having thought of a way to glue the stone back together. A form of acid that hardens like resin, fusing the two items together.

"Sure mama, we'll look." Groot nods and leads all twenty of his brothers and sisters down into the treasury. Molding their limbs to push through the gold and soft through it.

- Evening -

Thorin gives everyone rooms to use, giving Kili and I the princesses room. Their mother's.

Walking inside I sneeze due to the dust, looking at the untouched room. "Only needs new cloth it looks like. Not even the wood is damaged." I inspect the wooden dresser while Kili walks to the bed. Stripping it of the sheets to get a look underneath, revealing a mattress stuffed with soft hay that's degraded.

"We'll need a whole new mattress too." Kili sighs softly, looking to me with a frown. "Gonna have to sleep on the floor love."

"Nope, I will not. It refuse." Tossing seeds down I grow a plant on top of the hay, it absorbs it into itself. Transforming into a fluffy mattress, the fibers a fusion between Milkweed fibers, dandelion fluff and cotton. All wrapped in a plant shell that keeps it together, again similar to a milkweed pod.

Kili sits on it hesitantly and melts with a groan, laying back on it. "Mahal.. I've never felt something so soft.." i smile at him, happy he likes it.

"We'll have to get blankets later and stuff. But we should be plenty warm with a fire Flower heater.. I should probably go giver everyone a seed.." I mumble to myself, worried about them getting cold..

"Don't worry love, every room has a fireplace. They can fend for themselves. Get undressed and cuddle with me. I've missed laying next to you." Kili makes grabby hands towards me with a pout.

"We'll snuggle but you need to take a shower mister. You smell like smoke, and I'm not too better. I'm covered in blood."

"I find you attractive covered in blood. Makes you look sexy." Kili smirks at me seductively, wiggling his brows.

"Down boy." I glare at him playfully.

"I think Uncle said there was hot springs down near the forges. We can use them? I'll go find him and ask them come get you." He smiles to me, giving me a kiss.

"Thank you baby." He smiles and nods, quickly rushing out to find his uncle. Wanting to cuddle with me as soon as possible, he enjoys being the little spoon.

- Next Day -

"Mama! We found it!" Groot walks over to us happily, the party skinning and gutting the dragon. Audrey planted nearby soaking up all the blood while a piranha plant eats the unusable viscera.

Nori, Dori, Ori and Dwalin all grunt with effort as they pull the skin taught while Balin, Oin and Bifur slice at it from the top. Slowly pulling a huge chunk of of the dragon. Letting us get at the meat easier. I have a plant harvesting Smaug's brain via the Egyptian method.. through the nose. I need to blend the brain up into a goo and spread it on the skin to tan it.

"You did? That's great!" I smile at him, having been cleaned from the dragon blood. Me and Kili got handsy during the bath, but no sex just fondling. "I'll take it to Thranduril right now." I take the necklace from him and whistle to Chestnut. Some Groot's working on repairing the doorway, slathering the broken stones with the mixture I made. Pushing the broken ends together, they fuse as if it was never broken. Multiple Groot's work in unison, lifting the chunk up to affix it in the doorway where it had broken off.

"Where are you going?" Thorin asks with bags under his eyes, most likely not having slept last night.

"To deliver the necklace to Thranduril." I mount Chestnut with ease, Thorin stares at me with suspicion but grunts. Allowing me to leave. I give Kili a kiss before I kick Chestnut into gear and gallop out of the hall.

- Elven Camp -

Trotting through the Elven Camp, moving towards the biggest tent. Which I suspect is the kings, I hear a voice call out to me. "Ellen!" Looking to the voice I see Legolas smiling up at me. "You defeated the dragon?"

"Yup, and dragon meat tastes delicious." I smirk at him with a grin, Legolas' eyes widen in shock. "Where's your dad? I got a delivery." I say giddily excited to see Thranduril's reaction.

"He's in his tent planning for the battle ahead. I'll show you." Legolas holds a hand out and helps me dismount my steed. He leads me arm in arm to the kings tent. "Father, the Druid has arrived. She has slain the dragon and consumed its flesh." Legolas says with fondness in his voice. I need to get around to make a translator... still wish my phone had a translator app. The tech is useless unless I play candy crush or take pictures. I bought all my music on iTunes when I was younger, my phone's an Android.  fuck my life

"Truly? That is quite like her." Thranduril smirks before looking to me. "What are you doing here my dear? Shouldn't you be with your dwarves?" He asks with a sigh, happy to be rid of them.

"Nah, my kids got it handled. I came with a delivery!" Pulling the necklace from my pocket, Thranduril gasps. I hand it to him with a content smile, he takes them from me and holds them in his hands.

"Thank you.. Ellen. This means much to to me." He looks at me with a genuine smile that makes me giddy. A flash goes off and Thranduril blinks, I hide my phone acting nonchalant about it.

"It's no problem Thranduril. I'm happy to have returned your property." I shrug, resting my hands in my pockets, hiding my phone.

"You are forever welcome in my kingdom." He bows his head to me and my eyes widen.

"T-Thank you.. I'll be sure to visit when this is all over." I smile at him warmly. "I should be getting back-" turning around to walk out of the tent.

"Stay the night, tell us how you culled the beast." Thranduril speaks up making me stop in my tracks.

"I mean.. I guess I could stay.." I rub the back of my head nervously, Thranduril claps and food is brought in. I eagerly spy the Lemba's and grab some, this makes the royal elves chuckle.

- Later -

"You may rest here for the night my dear." Thranduril smiles to me, showing me a tent next to his sons.

"I don't need a tent Thranduril." I look down and away from him. "I'm fine in a plant shelter." Thranduril claps his hand on my chin tilting it up so I'm looking at him. My eyes widen and I begin to blush.

"You deserve to be showered in luxury.." he purrs to me through lidded eyes, leaning closer. "Should you find your dwarf lacking.. I will be waiting for you.. I am a patient man." He gives me a gentle kiss before stepping out of the tent with a swish of his cape. I stand there for a moment.. my brain processing what just happened. I- no- he- WHAT?!?!

- Next Day -

Trotting into the hall I see the company hard at work. "Thank goodness you're here lass." Balin walks up to me with worried eyes. Oh great, what happened now?

"What's going on?" I look to him in concern.

"I... It's Thorin.. he's not himself." Balin sighs in defeat, running his fingers through his beard. "All he does is sit on the throne staring at the stone and the gold." Of course he is.. fuck sakes.

"I'll handle it, Balin. Just don't question my methods or intervene." Nodding to him I urge Chestnut on, forcing her to run through the entire underground castle.

I come upon the throne room, opening the door with a branch. I enter, looking around at the sea of gold. Don't see why people like this stuff.. "Thorin?" I call out, looking around. "Who the fuck needs this much money?" I say to myself with a frown. Chestnut trots along the pathway, looking around a mound of gold I see Thorin garbed in a king robe. Sitting on his throne staring at the Arkenstone, bags under his eyes and looking exhausted.

"Thorin..?" Dismounting Chestnut I look to him in worry. He doesn't respond so I step forward and grab the stone with a branch yanking it away from him. His eyes snap up, wild and rage filled.

"Give it back!" He snarls out, rising from his throne and drawing his weapon. Great..

"No! It's a fucking rock! A shiny rock yes, but a rock!" I hold him back with a branch wrapping around him. He snarls deeply trying to hack at the branch with his sword, but it regenerates with every swing. "There are more important things then protecting a rock, Thorin!!!" Hearing the commotion, some of the company enter the throne room. Kili, Fili, Dwalin and Balin.

"YOU KNOW NOT OF WHAT YOU SPEAK, WITCH!!! GIVE IT BACK!!" He reaches for the Arkenstone frantically, hurting himself in the process of trying to grab it."Don't just stand there?!?!! Get her!" He looks to the company who's shocked he would ask that of them.

"You did not just-" I scowl at him full of anger and rage. Tempted to dissolve the stone in acid. "Do not fucking test me. I have sacrificed so fucking much to save your fucking life Thorin Oakenshield." Grabbing his sword I toss it aside. Grabbing him by his goddamn coat I lift him in the air with a glare, using my own strength. My branches holding his arms and legs so he doesn't hurt me. My eyes glowing a bright green, the wisps appearing once more. "I left my entire family behind! My fucking world! I gave up a peaceful life in the woods to help you get back your home! I have killed for you! I've fed your entire party for months!!!! I've kept you dry and warm!! SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!" I scream and a burst of energy comes from my chest, smacking straight into Thorin and making him choke on his own breath. All of the company in the room stumbles back, falling onto the gold.

From his mouth I hear shrieks..? but their not coming from him. Magical leaves twirl around us, keeping the company back. A thick black goo crawls out of his throat with a shriek, Thorin's eyes roll into the back of his head. The goo drops to the ground and disappears with a sizzle. The green magic dissipates and I lower Thorin to the ground in confusion. "Thorin?!"

"Get Oin!" Balin order Fili who runs off full speed. I stare at him in disbelief, looking down at my hands.

"I don't-" I stutter out in alarm, Dwalin goes to grab me but Kili stops him. Kili wraps his arms around me and I fall to my knees, he holds me allowing me to burrow my head in his chest.

"It's gonna be okay love. We'll fix this.." he whispers to me, looking at his uncle. Not entirely sure what happened..

Chapter Text

Written: November 6th, 2024

- Next Morning -

Thorin lays on a bed, breathing calmly and finally getting some rest. Having not awoken at all since I went full Storm from X-Men on him.. Oin was called and the company brought him to the kings chambers. I've been forbidden from seeing him by Nori and Dwalin. Apparently, Nori is a paid spy to the throne. He works under Thorin's sister Dìs at Ered Luin, protecting the crown from the unseen threats.

I've been pacing back and forth in panic in Kili's room. Any day now the battle is going to begin, and Thorin isn't awake! More importantly what the fuck was that black thing?? From my vast knowledge of fantasy and theoretical magic.. Could I have purified the corruption? Given it form and cast it out of him?? Is it possible I can do more then control plants? And why did Smaug call me the Hand of Valar? He also said that the druids all died, could it be possible that the Valar brought me here? Maybe the druids in the past were Isekai'd people as well..?

The door opens with urgency and I see Kili standing in the doorway. "Love! Uncles awake!" Kili says and my eyes widen. "He wants to see you." Kili says nervously, looking at me in concern. He won't let his uncle hurt me, he would sooner run away with me.

Nodding hesitantly to him, I take a big shaky breath and exit the room. Dwalin stands just outside, scowling at me. Having been guarding me to make sure that I wouldn't try to escape.. I did attack him after all, even though it was accidentally. Kili leads the way while Dwalin follows, wielding a different axe then the one I gifted him... Which hurts my feelings but I understand. I can control plants..

Nori stands in front of a door, twirling a dwarvish knife in his hands as he stares at me. He opens the door with a scowl, I frown at him with regret on my face. Walking inside the room, I see Thorin laying on his bed with Balin and Oin by his sides. He's looking healthier than he did before, his skin looks like it's glowing and healthy again. The bags under his eyes gone, as if something was straining his body has been removed. Like a parasi- oh my God did I kill venom? He looks up to me and opens his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it.

"I'm so sorry Thorin." I say with a frown, biting my inner cheek hard to the point I taste blood. Looking down at the floor, picking and pinching at the skin on my hands hard. Thorin looks at me with softened eyes, he laughs softly with a smile. That makes me shrink. He's laughing at my misery.. I deserve it..

"I should be thanking you, Ellen. Whatever you did with your magics cleared my mind of the thick fog that has been over it since Murkwood... The haze only intensified when I came closer to the mountain and saw the gold and arkenstone." Bombur walks into the room holding a tray in hand. He walks to Thorin and sets in down on his lap with a smile. A bowl of dragon meat stew sits there with some bread.. "Thank you Bombur." Bombur smiles and nods before taking his leave.

"I'm still sorry.." Rubbing my upper arm with a frown. I didn't mean to go all super sayan. "I don't know what happened, I just meant to scare you a bit to snap you out of it." Gonna have to experiment with the Super Sayan mode when the fights over..

"I should be the one who is sorry. I nearly attacked you with a sword." Thorin frowns at me with regret clear in his gaze. "Once I am done eating I shall meet with Bard and Thranduril to speak about other matters. I believe we should bring the Man from Dale into Erebor. It is much more safe then out there." My eyes widen at this, I look up at him.

"Okay! I- I'll have some Groot protect the mountain and some the gold. So nobody steals." I say to him nervously. I fucking hate thieves.

"Thank you, but I don't worry too much about that. I'll tell them that they have no need to steal because I shall be providing them food and board until Dale is rebuilt." Dang, he got generous. "Dwalin, Nori. Don't be hard on her alright?" Thorin calls out to his shadows who frown slightly but nod.

"Understood. I'm sorry Lass." Dwalin says to me and I smile to him.

"It's okay Dwalin, you were just doing your job. I understand completely." I nod to him eagerly and he sighs with relief

"I'm gonna go get my bloody axe back. This buggers too weighty." Dwalin scowls at the axe in hand and walks away to grab his own.

- Later -

Thranduril and Bard stride into the mountain side by side, Bard looks around nervously while Thranduril has a blank face... But he smirks when he sees the dead dragon carcass. Seeing the plants surrounding it he feels pride in me.

"Mother! The hot elf you like is here!" Audrey calls out sassily from where he's slurping up the dragon blood. The piranha plant is right next to him cleaning up the rest of the entrails. Acting more like dogs to Audrey then siblings.

I blush a bright red and glare at Audrey who snickers into a leaf with a grin. "You Mister, are in time out!' I point to the hulking plant who grows larger by the minute.

"Can't put me in time out mama. You'll need a crane to lift me!" He cackle with a grin showing off his gaping maw of a mouth. I roll my eyes at the plant. Why did I make him so sassy? Is it because ✨Broadway✨?

"That is quite a large plant." Thranduril says with shock on his face, taking in the size of the thing that's as big as Smaug's head now.

"Aw, you flatterer." Audrey smiles and waves him off with a vine.

"That's Audrey. He's our ace on the battlefield, Groot and his family will bring him out later today to let him place roots in the spiders trapdoors." I say with a soft sigh, looking at my children who work hard to clean the carcass to give the dwarves a break.

"You have been eating the dragons meat?" Bard asks me with curiosity, seeing the meat chunks sitting nearby a plant who lifts them and drops them into its mouth. Making sucking noises before it pulls out a dehydrated meat chunk, setting it down and moving onto another. It's saliva is salt based so it's making jerky! The meat has turned whiter because Audrey slurps up the blood and gives it to the salt piranha plant who drinks the moisture. I have another plant, similar to a pelican holding the meat in its mouth. Acting as a fridge.

"It's quite good actually, tastes a lot like gator. Want some?" I ask with a smile and he shakes his head no. Not wanting to eat a creature that has eaten dwarves... And he has no idea what an alligator tastes like.

"Thank you both for coming." Thorin steps out of the hallway dressed like himself instead of the king robes and jogs down the staircase. Balin following him slowly with Fili and Kili by his sides. Thranduril raises a brow at Thorin's change in demeanor, surprised he's being civil.

"What do you wish to speak of, King Under The Mountain?" Bard says with a nod of his head, resting his hands in front of himself.

"Just Thorin, please." He nods his head to the other leaders. "My cousin Dain is on his way from the Iron Hills to grant us aid. He shall arrive by tomorrow I suspect."

"If that's true then the battle will start tomorrow. It happens in the play when Dain's threatening Thranduril and they try to brawl." I step up with a sigh, wrapping my arms around myself to offer me comfort . "He will provide beneficial manpower- er dwarf power that will help us. My plants will fill the gaps and thin out the amount of enemies."

"My elves shall provide a wall of defense for the first wave, your dwarven troops may slide in next to them and attack from behind the shields." Thranduril looks to Thorin who nods in agreement to that plan. He shall tell Dain when he arrives, he won't like it but it needs to happen. Ah! Like the- shit Spartans? Right?

"I wish to ask if you Bard to have your people move into Erebor. Ellen's plant children will guard the gate so they all shall be safe instead of in Dale where there are many openings." I nod in agreement to Thorin. I'll keep the plants that are already there, there. So when the city is rebuilt they will have defenses. "I would feel more comfortable with their safety within Erebor."

"I.. thank you Thorin." Bard looks at him with eyes wide with shock, nodding his head in agreement." My people will move into the mountain with haste." Bard sighs with relief on his face.

"I'll have my horses help you all gran your things to make it easier. They can also carry the Elderly and children so you don't have to slow down." Bard smiles to me and nods his head.

"Thank you Lady Ellen. You have not known me or my people's yet you so much for us."

"Doing the right thing is what everyone should be doing." I smile to him with a nod. "I have the power to help, it would be selfish of me if I didn't use it to make others lives easier." I shrug and he smiles, Thranduril smiling slightly as well. Kili beams at me with pride in his eyes. Just as Thorin goes to talk again we're interrupted.

"WAIT!" Hearing the clopping of hooves, I turn to look and see Gandalf ride into the hall with Shadowfax. ITS THE COOL SMART HORSEEEE!!!

"Gandalf! And Shadowfax!!!" I smile wide with a squeal of excitement. Wanting to pet the horse and give eit affection. Gandalf slows to a trot before stopping all together, he jumps off Shadowfax and helps a dwarf off of the back of the beast. Is that Thrain? Thorin and most of the other dwarves in the room gasp loudly. "Is that..?" I ask Gandalf.

"Yes dear girl. This is Thrain, Thorin's father." Gandalf smiles warmly, the old dwarf looks around fearfully. Staying close to the wizard but relaxing every so slightly when he realizes he's in Erebor. Poor man.. He's been through so much.. he's going to need so much therapy.

"Adad..? (Father)" Thorin steps forward, tears in his eyes. Not believing what he is seeing, thinking he's still asleep.

"Thorin..? Is.. is that you..?" Thrain says softly under his breath, looking healthier then he did in the movie before he died. Gandalf must have got there just in time. Thank the Valar.

"I took Thrain to Rivendell after our rescue mission to mend his wounds. He insisted on coming with me so that is why I am so late, my friends." Gandalf rolls his eyes with fondness for the old dwarf. Thrain tried to chase after Gandalf while he was still wounded and experiencing starvation when he found out he was going to Erebor. Maybe I can make him a fruit that will help with his starvation symptoms..

"Lord Thrain?" I walk up to the previous king who looks to me with curiosity. Wondering why a human is here. "I see that you still have wounds, Oin has some medicine that will be able to help with that." I offer with a warm smile. Fili and Kili stand at the sides staring at their grandfather in disbelief.

"Yes Adad, we will go see Oin. We have finished with our talks here?" Thorin looks to the other kings who nod, letting the dwarf be with his father. Thorin offers his father his arm and begins to lead him through the hall. Thrain stares in awe at the dead dragon carcass. Thorin looks back to me. "Ellen, come with me please?" My eyes widen slightly in shock, but I nod my head.

"Who slayed the beast..?" Thrain asks with a cough. Eyes locked on Smaug's carcass with a satisfied gleam in his eye. Happy that his people have been avenged.

"Lady Ellen, the Druidic Seer. We met when our company was strung up on a spit over a fire by trolls. She culled them all and healed our wounds. She has saved our lives many times in our adventure to claim Erebor." Thorin says with a smile, gesturing to me with pride. I blush a light pink at his praise.

"It's a pleasure to meet you sir. I was the one who told Gandalf about your whereabouts, I am so happy you are here and safe." I smile to Thrain who has tears in his eyes, he pushes Thorin away and wraps his arms around me in a bone crunching hug. I squeak loudly, looking to Thorin in alarm. Fili and Kili laugh softly with smiles on their faces. Still within sight of them while they stay with Balin, not wanting to overwhelm their grandparent.

"Thank you dear girl! Saving me from that monster!! Killin that beast! Avenging the peoples of Erebor and Dale!" He pulls away, tears streaming down his face. "Anything you ask and it is yours." He says with dwarven determination.

"I just want to be of help sir. You don't have to reward me for doing the right thing." I smile to him nervously and slowly begin to lead him to Oin.

"I insist!" He nods to me with a scowl, unwilling to take no for an answer.

"I uh.." I scratch my neck in thought, not really having the need for money... But I would need money to pay people to make my armor.. so.. "You can have the best Dwarven smiths make me a set of dragon skin armor and weapons..? For me and the company..?" I say with a grimace and he smiles wide.

"It shall be done!" He nods with a laugh.

We walk into the room Oin has made the med bay, he looks up and his eyes widen. "Your majesty!!!" He drops what he was holding in complete shock, I'm surprised he didn't have a heart attack.

"Oin, we're gonna need the big guns on this one." I look to Oin and he nods in understanding, rushing over to a little cabinet he's taken over. I named the all curing goo 'Big Guns'. They have no clue what a gun is yet, thank God.

"The lass made this mixture, it can regrow limbs and the like." Oin comments with a smile, waddling over to Thrain who sits down on a cot.

"Truly?" Thrain says in disbelief. Oin slathers some of the goo on his missing ring finger nub and we watch as it grows back.

A small flower in a pot in the corner of the room blooms with a smile on its face. It begins to sing softly, swaying side to side. Thrain visibly relaxes with a sigh as does everyone else. "Seems the flowers working!" Oin comments with a smile to me.

"I'm glad its helping." I sigh with relief. The sunflower from Plants Vs Zombies with modifications. It forces the brain to create hormones that calm those around it. But only a small amount to remain calm, so you can't get addicted. "I believe... ah.. who do I call your majesty...?" I ask Thorin with a grimace, not exactly sure who's king now since Thrain is here. I want to address them as their titles unless they tell me otherwise.

"Thorin shall take the throne." Thrain comments with a smile, happily listening to the flower and watching it dance with amusement.

"Okay, I believe that Thrain will have PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from his time held in captivity.." I say with a sigh Oin walks over and joins us in the discussion.

"What is this P T S D?" Thrain asks me with a tilt of his head, Oin helping him lay back to get comfortable.

"It's something that people from my world discovered due to war.. and torture. It was originally called Shell Shock but they came with the official name... The best way I can describe it.. its like you have an explosive stuck to your hand and you don't know what's gonna set it off. But it gets triggered and suddenly your brain thinks you're back there again. Filling your body with panic and anxiety, you will try to run or fight.. You might even accidentally hurt those you love in the panic." Thrain's eyes widen in alarm.

"Will I be living with this for the rest of me days.. or.. is there a cure?" Thrain asks me with heavy eyes, not wanting to burden those he cares for.

"There is no cure for PTSD.. I'm sorry Thrain. But I can help you manage it and it's symptoms with a companion." Dropping a seed to the ground a small plant dog begins to grow made of interwoven branches. Covered in a layer of moss to give the impression of fur. "Until you can get a proper dog, this lil fella should help!" The wicker canine jumps up on the bed and lays across Thrain's body. "I've read that physical pressure helps those with PTSD. As well as someone you can talk to to vent without seeing a therapist-"I knew watching those documentaries would pay off. The dwarves look at me in confusion not understanding the word. "A therapist is a doctor or healer for the mind. Like if you have issues with anger or are depressed, you go to a therapist and they help you work it out." All of the dwarves nod in understanding.

"The dog will help my father? Is conscious?" Thorin asks me while crossing his arms.

"This dog is fully sentient and loyal to Thrain, you can name it what you like. And it is relatively unkillable, it also has defenses. It will keep you safe Lord Thrain." I smile to the old dwarf. Having basically given him an unkillable one dog army.

"Thank you lass." Thrain sighs with a smile, petting the plant dog who leans into his touch. "I'll name yae Thrung."

- One Day Later -

Standing outside I watch the preparation of the battle with keen eyes. Bilbo is safe inside with the people of Laketown, telling stories to the children there. Thorin still gifted him the Mithril chainmail though which was kind.

The sound of a horn blowing fills the air, Thorin yells out from entrance of Erebor. "Dain is here!" Not long now until the party starts.. I look to the Groots who drag Audrey out onto the battlefield, allowing him to dig his roots into the ground and disappear slightly. All my plants waiting for the codes so they don't accidentally activate. Thorin runs out with some of the company to go talk with Dain.

Last night I cut out the fire bladder in Smaug's corpse. It's basically a second stomach but made for rotting flesh. The dragon uses the gas it naturally makes mixed with the gases off the corpses to make fire. It clicks a boney ridge on its tongue with his teeth to spark a flame. I grew a large wicker lizard around it, putting a flint and steel as the tongue. The entire mouth is made of Palm trees so it won't burn to bad. But this lizard will do great on the battlefield. I had it hide where the second wave will come.

"Having fun?" Thranduril rides over to me on Moose, his army at his back. Ready to fight.

"Oh hoh! I will in a bit!" Tossing seeds out I create wicker hounds that will rip and tear. My giant bird I made earlier hides at the top of the mountain, ready to grab Smallug (small Smaug) to murder bats. Make em extra crispy.

"Why do we have to work with the long eared ninny?" Dain asks as he trots over on his boar. Can I pet that dawg?

Thranduril scowls at the crass dwarf. "Cousin, do not upset him. This alliance is beneficial to all of us. With the help of the Druid Ellen, we have slightly mended the relationship with the elves of Greenwood." Thorin says to his cousin who looks like he just sucked on a lemon.

"Thror's father stole gems that were precious to me. They were a gift intended for my wife before she perished in battle. That is why I did not help your people, I had to protect my own." Thranduril looks to Dain with a scowl, the dwarf opens his mouth and I speak.

"Would you help someone who has stolen from you? Sacrifice the safety of your people's, their lives, for someone who was in your eyes a thief??" I rest my hands on my hips and ask Dain when I notice his face getting redder and redder.

The redness slowly dissipates and he huffs. "Hmph.. Lass has a point, but I don't like it." Dain grumbles with a scowl, gripping onto his Warhammer.  "I'll work with the tree hugger." I sigh with relief.

"The battle will be beginning any moment now. I shall seal the doors to Erebor so the humans are kept safe." I say to Thorin who nods his head to me, the Groots close the gates and stand guard outside and inside.

"Right then, I'll head back then. LET'S SMASH SOME ORC SKULLS!" He bellows out with a laugh holding his hammer in the air, turning his pig to run back to his army.

"Ellen, will you join me?" Thranduril asks with a raised brow.

"No, I'm fine. I can handle myself." I wave off the elven king with a blush. Not wanting what happened with Legolas to happen with Thranduril... Cheeky fucking elf.

"I would feel better if you were kept safe. You have not experienced the true chaos of war." Thranduril says with concern in his voice, not wanting me out of his or his sons sight. Kili will be watching my six from a watch tower made by Tulip.

The ground begins to shake slightly and I sigh. Knowing the worms are close, I call out to my son. "Flowey?" My son pops out of the ground beside me with a smile, shaking the dirt from his leaves. "Go to Raven kill, kill Azog and his son." I look down to him with full seriousness, masking my emotions and forcing myself to become a killing machine.

"Hehehe, I'll show him my little white friendship pellets~" he grins at me sadistically before popping away.

In the distance worms the size of Erebor rip through the mountainside. Never understood why they just didn't dig INTO Erebor... "Fucking Dune rip-off." I say with a huff, crossing my arms. We wait patiently as the army begins to pour through the hole. "Let's get the party started." My armor activates, lifting me off of the ground. Pulling my sword from his scabbard I hold it in the air, green energy swirling around it and myself. "Baruk Khazâd!!! (Axes of the Dwarves!)" I scream out at the top of my lungs. This makes all of the Dwarves eyes widen when they hear me. Saying the war cry from the movie. Thranduril raises as eyebrow to me in surprise, Moose begins to pump himself up with snorts.

Dain, Thorin and the entire company yells out. "DU BEKAR!!!! (To arms!)" Before charging full speed towards the elves.

"ELVES TO ARMS! SHIELD FORMATION." Thranduril bellows out with a powerful voice in Sindarin. All of the elves move in sync, creating a phalanx formation. The dwarves slide up alongside them with their weapons at the ready. The wave of Orcs and Goblins finally hits the wall of shields. The dwarves yells out and begin to smash and slash, the elves behind them stabbing with spears.

"WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!" I bellow and my wicker hounds run from under the shields and tackle and maim the enemies legs and ankles. Forcing them to be trampled by their compatriots.

Tulip stands tall, guarding the entrance to the sniper tower. Giving them a protective platform to shoot from. Ogres begin to walk towards us all and my eyes widen. Knowing they can kill everyone. "FEED ME, SEYMOUR!!" I scream and Audrey bursts from the ground with a booming laugh. Grabbing the first Ogre he sees he pulls them towards his maw filled with sharp teeth.

The goblin riding it screams out, the Ogre wining as it's bitten into. Blood gushing from its body, it's drunk dry like a Capri sun and thrown to the side. Explosions with stars mixed in hit several of the larger enemies, exploding them in a cloud of viscera. Seems Legolas is using his bow. My armor deflecting and grabbing arrows shot at me as I watch the battle with focus. Occasionally using my sword to slash at Orcs who gets to close, or stomping on them with my branches. Turning them into pincushion as I step on them.

The orcs finally break the shield formation, green vines erupt from the ground underneath them. Audrey grabbing the Orcs and pulling the through the dirt right into his mouth. "FOR THE VALAR!!!" Thranduril charges forward on Moose, slashing and culling the beasts with elegance. I hope Flowey is doing okay...

- Raven Hill - Moments Ago -

A small daisy pops out of the ground, with an innocent face. Looking at the orcs and goblins manning the flags. "Howdy!" A goblin looks to where he heard the voice with wide eyes. Expecting a human or dwarf the goblin reaches for his weapon, only to stop when he sees a flower. "I'm Flowey! Flowey the flower! Will you be my friend?!" Flowey asks with a beaming smile, tilting his head innocently. The goblin stare

"Get back to work!" Azog orders the goblin with a scowl on his face, walking over he sees the flower.

"Howdy!" Flowey smiles at the Orc. "Will you be my friend?" Azog squints, moving to squash the flower with his foot, Flowey smirks. Vines covered in spines launch from the ground and wrap around his leg. Flowey grins at him sadistically, cackling with glee. "You shouldn't have done THAT!!!"

Huge vines covered in nodules filled with white seeds rise around the area. "Here's some little white friendship pellets! I'm sure you'll LOVE THEM!!!!" The white nodules on the vines burst, shooting rock hard seeds like a shotgun at all of the goblins. Several fall to the ground dead form the first volley, Flowey cackles with glee at the chaos. Watching Azog's son get shot from all sides and turned into raw sourdough bread when you give it a shake. A trypophobia nightmare.

Lifting Azog from the ground by his leg, shredding it even more the orc cries in pain. The orc tries to free himself with a roar of rage, slicing at Flowey with his metal claw hand. Flowey grabs ahold of one of Azog's arms with a kind smile. "He loves me~" Ripping off the arm with a loud squelch, Azog screams in agony eyes wide in horror. Staring at his limb hanging limp in the vine, being tossed aside as if it was trash.

"He loves me not~" A vine wraps around his uninjured leg next and Flowey tears it off with a pout, blood gushing all over the snow dying it black. Azog screams like a baby, tears in his eyes from the pain.

"Haha! He loves me!" Flowey smiles and wraps his vines around Azog's torso. Ripping off Azogs last leg with a grin.

"He hates your fucking guts." Flowey glares at Azog with hatred, his face changing into a demonic one before ripping him in half. Azog stares down at his body for a moment, in shock. Flowey let's him simmer in agony for a bit then ripping his head off. Holding the severed head in a tentacle with a smile, his face turning back to normal.

"Haha! Mama would want souvenirs!" Flowey's stem bounces happily from side to side. Grabbing Azog's arm weapon and ripping off Bolg's (Azog's son) head. Using his vines to man the flags, he keeps a lookout for the other army.. when he sees it approaching he moves the flags crazily. The signal for the next wave.

- Back with Ellen -

Looking up to Raven Hill I see the flags move around without a care. Smirking at Flowey I turn to everyone. "Second wave inbound!" I call out to everyone. "THROUGH THE FIRE AND FLAMES!!!" I screech out and a large mass emerges behind the army from the dirt just as the other army crests the hill. Even more then before, the large wicker beasts stands there. Opening its maw wide releasing gas slowly from the fire bladder, it clicks it's tongue a few times and flames burst from the creature. Torching the army with murderous efficiency. Screams of agony are heard as they're roasted alive with dragon fire.

"Anyone hungry for marshmallows?" I look around to everyone who watch in horror as the beast torches the entire army. "No??? Just me???" I look around and pout, slashing my sword at an orc like a baseball bat. Chopping its head off before it could hurt Fili.

Looking to Raven Hill once more I see the flags go crazy. "Bats inbound!! CAN YOU TELL ME HOW TO GET TO SESAME STREET?" I scream and my huge bird bursts from the ground, picking up the wicker drake it begins to fly high in the air. The drake shutting off it's fire as it's flown high, reigniting it while it's in the sky.. it torches the bats, making them fall to the ground dead. We all watch as they're decimated. "Well, anyone want dragon meat shawarma? I'm hungry." I say with a huff, smirking with my victory.

I watch as my wicker dogs, Spiders, Audrey and Groots go around the battlefield stabbing the skulls of the orcs. The Groots begin cleanup, picking up the body's and removing any metals. Tossing the flesh to Audrey who's piranha plant buddies begin to feast. I lower myself to the ground with a victorious smile. "My love!" Kili barrels into me, nearly tackling me to the ground. "You were amazing!!!"

"I know." I flick my hair over my shoulder sassily. "What's the status of the injured?" I ask with complete seriousness. Dain trots over on his war hog, Thorin by his side covered in black blood.

"From what I can tell.. there are only minimal injuries because of your 'Big Guns'." Thorin says with a smile of amusement, shaking his head at the name.

"Aye, I dunnae see any dead Dwarves or elves neither!" Dain looks around in awe, having never had a battle so successful as this one. He's always had injured or even dead in the battles he's fought in.

"Oh thank Mahal." I hold a hand to my chest and exhale with relief. The dwarves raise their brows at me thanking their God. I take a moment.. before squealing with absolute glee. "I FUCKING DID IT!!!!!" I proceed to dance like nobodies business, doing the Mc Hammer and the Carlton before doing soulja boy.

"Why's the lassie movin like tha..?" Dain whispers to Thorin with complete confusion. The two elves who've taken an interest in me watch with smiles.

"She had a goal to save everyone's lives, cousin. She succeeded.." Thorin beams in pride. "The Durin line was to end today I think.. that's why she has been so serious." They watch as Kili gets in on the dancing, Moose dances..? As well. More like trotting in place with a bellow.

"Mama!!" Flowey grunts while pushing through the dirt instead of popping around. "I got gifts~" he show off the heads of Bolg and Azog to Thorin. "For your mantle above the fireplace~"

"I.. thank you little flower." Thorin crouches and pats Flowey on the head with a smile. The flower giggles like the Pillsbury dough boy. "You have avenged my Grandfather. The Durin line thanks you."

"It's nothin!" Flowey waves him off with a leaf. "I got mama his cool arm claw thing!" Flowey holds up Azog's severed arm and I grimace.

"That will have to be cleaned.. but thanks Flowey!" I smile and give my son a peck on the head. He smiles at me. "Well, I for one am going to go shower and take a fucking nap! The Groots will help Bombur prepare enough dragon meat for whoever wants some. Let's party!! I can have ale made!" I create a kazoo and blow it with a little dance. Now to wait until the time is right. Aragorns gotta grow up before he can claim Gondors throne. I'll have some time to kill... Maybe even fuck some elves?

Chapter Text

Written: November 8th, 2024

🔞 - Legolas and Kili

- Hours Later -

Everyone cheers loudly, taking wooden mugs from a Groot who mans the newly made bar. A plant made for creating ale hangs above similar to a pitcher plant, but with a spout at the bottom. Groot pulls on the spout and pours mug after mug of frothy ale. The dwarves grab them with beaming smile, finding it delicious.

Another plant hangs nearby, a cross between a piranha plant and a pitcher ale plant. It eats grapes off of a vine non stop, creating and hastily fermenting the wine inside its body. The Groot pours the wine from the spout into wooden wine glasses. Handing it to an elf soldier who smiles, nodding to he plant man in thanks. The Groot at the bar named himself Grillby since Daisy told them all about the stories I've told them as bedtime stories.

Bilbo sips on some whiskey Ellen made for him, watching as the dwarves all sit at long wooden living tables.

Bombur and the Groots work hard to prepare food for the hoard of hungry mouths. They told me they like working with food and cooking, which makes me happy. They've named themselves after spices from my world. The dwarves and elves eat some fruit as a snack while the feast is being cooked. Soon Groots walk out and hand out food to hungry dwarves and elves alike.

The dwarves laugh and talk to one another, even speaking with the elven soldiers as they eat their fill. All the meat in the table was made by my plants. There's a special table for the dwarves if they want to try dragon meat.

I smile and dance a bit when the dwarves begin to sing merrily. The elves are even getting in on the action, dancing around with dwarven soldiers. Bilbo is dancing with the Company who's getting sloshed. I giggle when he begins to dance with Thorin who smirks at the hobbit.

"Why aren't you dancing love?" Kili slides up to me with a smile, wrapping his arm around my waist as he looks up to me with love in his eyes.

"I'm tuckered out, Kii." I look to him and smile. "I was gonna take a hot shower and go to bed... I'm not really a party type of person. I'm more of a sit in the corner and play with the dog type of person." Party's are way to overstimulating for my brain.

"Not gonna stay all bloody for me? Hm?" He purrs with a smirk. "Seeing you like this makes me harder then Mithril." He growls under his breath making me blush a light pink. "I still want to fuck you covered in blood love.." I blush a dark red at him.

"Down boy. Go have fun, when you're done I'll be waiting okay? Take a shower too. I'll give you a treat later." I push him away with a smirk, he rolls his eyes and nods with a warm smile. Walking away while adjusting his pants I giggle slightly at the sight. Surprised I have that much effect on the dwarf.

Sighing loudly I turn and make my way through the dark halls, my armor glowing so I can see. So fucking useful. I'm so goddamn smart sometimes. I smile to myself, going through the memorized path I did the previous days. I find myself at the hot spring. It functions like a Japanese Onsen except strictly for bathing. I walk to the ladies portion. Sliding off my armor easily, I allow it to dip its roots in the water. Seeing it perk up happily, I smile at it before stripping off my dirty clothes. Setting them aside to me washed. In the thick haze of steam, I step down into the hot spring and exhale loudly.

🔞 Spice Ahead 🍋

Finding a spot to sit, I rest back and smile. Basking in the silence of it all for a minute, allowing my overstimulated mind a moment of rest. Not hearing or seeing the disturbance in the water. "Mind if I join you?" I squeak loudly with wide eyes looking over to the voice, seeing a naked Legolas step into the spring. Unable to see his dick because of the steam. CURSE YOU STEAM!!!

"L-Legolas? This is the girls Onsen!" I cover my chest, blushing a dark red. Aroused and embarrassed at the same time, wondering why he's here. He raises a brow, not understanding the Japanese term.

"I apologize... I saw you leaving the party and followed you. I couldn't help myself." Legolas strides towards me with hunger in his eyes. Oh sweet mother of Valar. "Seeing you on that battlefield.. You ordering around the troops like a true queen... Culling orcs left and right without a care.." he exhales shakily, he leans over me resting his hand behind my head. "It was so attractive.." he looks to my lips and I gulp, shocked this is happening. "Is this okay..?" Legolas asks me softly, I nod my head nervously and he smiles. Leaning in he presses his lips against mine, moving them against me with a hum. I exhale through my nose with a sigh, closing my eyes. My body relaxing slightly as he kisses me gently.

His tongue licks at the seam of my lips, I squeak softly making him chuckle. Oh damn. Going straight to it. I open my mouth to him with a soft moan and he groans, pushing his tongue inside my mouth. Tasting me and moaning, he presses his body closer to mine. Allowing me to feel his cock against my abdomen.. he is LONG. OHHH MYYYY GOODDDDDDD!!!!!!! I WON'T SURVIVE!! HELL FUCKING PERFORATE MY FUCKING UTERUS!! JESUS CHRIST-

Legolas wraps his arm around me,  using the other hand to run his fingers through my hair. He pulls away and exhales loudly to gain breath again. I gasp for breath while looking up at him. He smirks and leans back in, forcing his tongue back into my mouth with a dominant growl. Slurping and sucking on my tongue like it's a fucking Popsicle made of the nectar of the gods. oh.. oh fuck.. curse you oral fixation!

I mewl with lidded eyes, wrapping my arms around him. I angle myself and grind my pussy against his thigh, this makes this eyes widen slightly. He lifts me up and twists out position, sitting himself down. Holding my hips against his thigh he pulls away from the kiss with a pant. Guiding and moving my hips against his muscular thigh, he flexes it under me. "Mmm-" i stop myself from moaning.

"Don't be silent Rosebud. Let me hear all of your delicious noises.." Legolas leans forward and kisses up the length of my neck. Sucking gently at the skin so he doesn't leave a mark.

"L-Legolas-" I pant out with a whine, he groans flexing his thigh again under me. OH FUUUCCCKKKKK.

"Do you like that my beautiful girl?" He purrs in my ear, his big strong hands tight around my hips. Nipping at my ear with a grin, grinding his cock against my leg with a pant.

"Yesss" I hiss out with a whine, hiding my head in the crook of his neck. His hands are so fucking big and strong- oh my God, I want him to fucking choke me with them. And I don't even like breath play! BUT- I gotta know what his cock feels like, I need to hear him moan. FOR THE SPANK BANK!!!!

Reaching a hand down sneakily, I grab his cock in hand. He groans deeply, eyes fluttering shut, bucking into my palm. "You don't have to touch me rosebud, I will be fine.." Legolas pants out, eyes black with lust. Oh fuck- ruin my uterus!

"Legolas.. I wanna hear you too.." I say with a whine, pouting at him. His eyes widen slightly at this and he exhales shakily.

"You little vixen.." Legolas curses in Sindarin, eyes looking from my own eyes to my breasts pressing against his muscular chest. He bucks his hips into my hand with a grunt of pleasure once more. He reaches a hand down and begins to rub my clit, forcing soft moans out of me. I stroke up and down his length, feeling ridges and bumps along his cock. that must feel amazing inside someone. "Fuck..." He curses softly, throwing his head back, moving my hips against his thigh. Needing more stimulation but I won't hurt my boyfriend's trust in me.

"Well, what do we have here hm?" Kili enters the room with a smirk on his face. Legolas looks to him with wide eyes, filled with alarm. Speak of the devil and he shall appear. "Has he fucked you, ‘Ibinê?" Kili undresses himself slowly, dropping his dirty armor to the floor. Eyes locked on the both of us, I continue to grind against Legolas. Stroking his cock under he water, he hisses at me. His brain wanting me to stop but his cock wants me to NEVER stop.

"Mmm- no..." I whine out with a frown to Kili.

"Good." He looks to me with a grin, staring at me with hunger and slight jealousy. "Keep pleasuring her, elf." He looks to Legolas who nods his head nervously, moving my hips against his thigh once more. I moan softly, my clit rubbing against his meaty thighs and feeling deliciously good.

Kili finally undresses and steps down into the pool, striding over to the both of us. "You've been such a good girl, ‘Ibinê.." Kili presses himself up behind me using a conveniently plot based rock that allows him to be at the same height as Legolas. "Do you want to fuck her?" Kili asks Legolas who nods his head. "Do you love her?" He asks him with full seriousness and the elf nods, looking at me nervously. Holy shit? He loves me?

"Yes, I have grown feelings for her in the short time we've spent together.. Elves feelings are stronger then other races." Legolas explains while still grinding me against him, my mind fuzzy with pleasure.

"Amrâlimê, do you want Legolas to join the relationship?" Kili asks me while rubbing his hands up and down my sides. Kissing my back gently, letting me feel the scratchiness of his beard.

"Yes!" I nod my head eagerly. "Loved you even before I met you Legolas.." I admit hesitantly, he smiles at this. Leaning forward to kiss me gently and pull of passion before pulling away.

"So Legolas? Will you join us?" Kili asks the elf who looks between us both.

"For her, yes." He nods his head and Kili smiles.

"Wonderful!" Kili beams at the elf that has gained his Ones heart. Kili leans in close to my ear and begins to whisper, his hands wrapping around my body to grab my breasts in his hands. Squeezing them gently and rubbing my nipples. "Amrâlimê.. do you want him to fuck you? Hm? Have his long cock inside you?" He purrs, sucking on my neck.

"Of fuck... I want to fuck you Darling, please? can I?" Legolas begs me needily, his cock throbbing in my hand. Bucking his hips once more at the thought of it. He hasn't had sex in over a thousand years.

"Shut up and fuck me." I give him a stern look and Kili giggles.

"Uh oh, you've done it now Legolas." Kili smirks at the elf while playing with my breasts. Licking and sucking at my neck, his cock resting between my ass cheeks.

"If you don't stuff your fucking cock inside me-" Legolas lifts me up with no effort making me squeak, lowering me down straight onto his cock that easily breaches my hole. DOES HE HAVE A PREHENSILE PENIS?!?! He groans as he slowly pushes it further and further inside. My eyes flutter shut and I groan deeply, squeezing and pulsing my pussy around him. Kili smirks and grabs a sponge and soap, watching us as Legolas hilts himself inside of me with a deep growl.

The dwarf lathers up the sponge, Legolas lifting me up and dropping me back down onto his cock with a groan. "Oh fuck-" I whimper, nearly biting Legolas' shoulder. It's like he's fucking my goddamn soul! Jesus!

Kili walks back over and begins to wash me with the sponge, moving it around my body slowly and teasingly while Legolas fucks me close and slow. "You're so fucking beautiful- on my cock-" Legolas gasps out when he plunges into me again. His eyes locked into my face, becoming increasingly aroused from my facial expressions.

"So fucking good- holy SHIT!" I growl out, biting onto Legolas' shoulder with a deep moan. Legolas exhales loudly when my teeth dig into him. Rolling his head to give me more room while fucking into me quicker and quicker. Soon his cock is barely leaving my channel, making short hard thrusts.

"I'm going to fill you full of my cum beautiful girl. You're going to take it all-" Legolas stares into my eyes with loud pants, speaking in Sindarin as he loses himself in the pleasure. "-gonna give me an elfling- gonn- fuck-" he hisses out pushing me down on his cock and allowing me to grind against him. My pussy throbs and I feel my orgasm slowly begin to wind up, but he's not going to last as long. "Gonna-" he chokes out with a groan, throwing his head back.

I moan at his words and squeeze down onto his cock like a python. He cries out in ecstasy, his cock shooting cum into me. He shivers and shakes in pleasure, eyes rolling into the back of his head. I pout when I realize I didn't cum.. Kili lets Legolas finish completely before picking me up and plunging his own cock in me fucking me from behind. "Ah!! Kili!" I moan out with a whine, reaching back to hold onto the dwarf for dear life.

Kili chuckles and begins to fuck me rough and hard. Taking advantage of the water to hold me up while he plows into me. "So hot watching him fuck you- shit the noises.. like a tease-" He growls pulling me close to kiss me full of tongue and teeth. I whine and whimper against him, bucking my hips against his thick cock.

Legolas pants softly and watches the dwarf fuck me like a two dollar whore. His member rising back to life quickly while he watches, reaching a hand down he strokes himself under the water. "Are you gonna be a good girl for your Adad (Daddy)? You gonna cum on Adad's cock? Hm?" Kili growls to me deeply, hitting my g-spot with every thrust.

"Adad- I'm cumming-" Kili groans loudly when I call him that, he fucks me harder. My walls squeeze down as a rush of pleasure zings up my spine. I whine loudly, unknowingly squirting into the hot springs water. Kili roars and cums deep inside of me with a growl, thrusting his cock to try to push himself in more.

Legolas moans softly under his breath, cum shooting out of his cock and covering his abs while he strokes himself. Eyes locked onto my body and my face. I pant loudly while floating in the water limp, Kili grunts and pulls out of me. "Holy... Shit.." I giggle softly with a smile, both men smile at me.

"You like that Halwûna? (Sweet one)" Kili asks me with a tired smile, panting loudly to get his breath back.

"Yeah.. I liked it a lot." I smile at them both.

"You look tired Rosebud. Let's get you clean." Legolas picks me up bridal style and walks us out. I squeak at the elves strength, finding it incredibly hot.

Kili is soon behind and grabs a lever and pulls it, the entire pool emptying. Draining down and out of Erebor. He pulls the lever back up and the water begins to refill quite quickly. Legolas smiles and walks me back down into the pool. "Let us clean you Darling." Legolas smiles to me, grabbing my jar of shampoo.

"You two are sweet on me.." I say nervously, letting Legolas start to clean my hair while Kili cleans my body.

"Always." Kili smiles to me.

"Are you uhm.. sure about joining our relationship..? I know you're going to be traveling Arda pretty soon." I ask Legolas and he purses his lips

"That is true.. But I will come back to you, we shall keep in touch with your flower companion." He says while lathering my hair up.

"I could always make you a messenger?" I offer with a smile and he grins at me, kissing me on the cheek.

"I would love that darling."

"We could even join him for a bit if you wanted love. I doubt Uncle will have much use for me here, Fili is the heir after all." Kili shrugs his shoulders while scrubbing my back for me.

"I would love that! Travelling with my boys!" I giggle with excitement and they smile at the noise.

- Next Day -

Snuggled up in bed, my arms wrapped around Kili while Legolas has his arms wrapped around me. I exhale happily while Legolas plays with my hair with a smile. "Morning love." Legolas smiles at me, pushing my hair behind my ear.

I groan and stretch out like a cat. "Morning Leggy.." I turn around and snuggle into him with a sigh, finding his scent calming. He's like a nature candle.

"Hrmm.." Kili grumbles in his sleep, he turns around and cuddles into me with a smile.

"We should get up, breakfast should be soon." Legolas kisses my forehead and I huff.

"Fineee..." I look back towards a sleeping Kili who's snuggled into me. "Kii? It's time to get up baby." I call out to him and shake him, he wakes up quickly with a furrowed brow.

"Hrmm. Morning.." He blinks his eyes several times, trying to get the sleep to leave them.

"We've got much to do today. I heard your uncle's gonna send a message to your mom, letting her know that Erebor's safe now."

"Really?" He smiles and sits up in bed.

"Mhm. I'm gonna have some of my plants travel there through the dirt and act as guards. I want your people to be safe." I smile to Kili and his heart warms.

"Thank you love, let's go get some breakfast." Kili slides out of bed and begins to get dressed.

"I should go check in with my father, he may be concerned where I was last night." Legolas blushes slightly on the tops of his ears. "I'll meet you kater in the afternoon my love." Legolas kisses me on the forehead before hopping out of bed. Getting dressed quickly.

Chapter Text

Written: November 8th, 2024

- Later that Day -

Moving through the city of Dale, I stare at buildings for a moment. Looking at the stone and how it broke, Vines erupt from the ground and lift the heavy boulders. One vine slathers the edges with acidic goo, the thicker vines drop the stone in its place. Allowing it to fuse back together again, a smaller tendrils smooths out any difference and I smile.

Heading inside the newly refurbished structure, I purse my lips when I see the decay of the wooden floor. I sigh and toss some seeds at the edges of the room. Allowing branches to rise and break down the already rotten wood, fixing anything that's made of wood in the home. Even making bedframes and dressers, making it so the home is livable again. I even fixed the glass panes with small leaves that are paper thin and clear.

Stepping back outside I smile at my success, tossing a seed down. Planting a plants vs zombies sunflower outside the home to indicate its refurbished. I take a breath and move onto the next home, several Groots and some people working alongside me to refurbish the city.

Thorin sent a message to his sister today in the Blue Mountains, telling her that Erebor has been claimed. We're waiting on a message back via Flowey since I let Thorin borrow the flower. I felt it was better that way then waiting days for a message back via Raven.

"Ah, there you are." Bard smiles at me, jogging down the street.

"Yes Bard?" I turn to the man, giving him my full attention while my vines work.

"I've seen what you've been doing and I cannot thank you enough Ellen." He smiles at me with pure thanks in his eyes.

"It's no problem, I'm more then happy to help. You guys should have food production up in a jiffy! My kids are making you fields and greenhouses as we speak." Bard smiles at me, full of warmth.

"You have done so much. I still appreciate it, how much have you done so far? Is there any way I can help?" He asks me nervously, having always been a hands on sort of man.

"Sure! Nale!!" I call out to the female Groot who looks my way, she walks over with a smile. Wearing a long belt across her chest with multiple pouches.

"Yes mama?" She says with a lazy smile, she has hair of several leaves and flowers. Giving hippie vibes.

"Bard here wants to help, can you show him how to use the plants?" I ask her with a smile and she nods.

"Heh, right on lil man. Sure thing." Nale nods her head lazily, grabbing some pouches off of her belt and hands them to Bard, they affix themselves around his belt.

"The green bag is for heavy lifting vines. The orange is for the acid spitting vines that will fuse the stones together mmk? The pink bag is for making floorboards. And the blue is furniture seeds, they sprout in your hand and you tell em what you want em to be mmk? The yellow is for the flower outside to let others know you fixed it."

"Oh uh.. I understand. Thank you... Nale?" He looks inside all the pouches at the different shaped seeds with fascination.

"Chaa dude. Like the thing you build with." She smiles at him and nods her head slowly. "Building stuffs fun." She shrugs with indifference before waving at Bard, turning around to get back to work. Bard looks to me with a squint of confusion and I shrug.

"I didn't name her. I let them pick their own names now." I hold my hands up.

"I see.... how do I replenish the seeds when I run out?" He asks me, getting right back to business.

"They're self replenishing. When you're done building for the day or need a break give em to Nale, Scroo or Bholt." He squints at me once more, pursing his lips at their absurd names but sighs with a nod.

"Alright, I shall work with my children to help fix up a home for ourselves then help others." He nods to me and I smile and nod back.

"I'm gonna head back to Erebor and see if they need anything." He nods in understanding and takes his leave.

Whistling out I hear Chestnut trot through the city streets up to me. I quickly mount him and sprint towards Erebor. Coming across the elven tents, I decide to stop and see Thranduril. A guard outside the tent steps to the side and allows me in. "Thank you." I smile to the guard and he nods. "Thranduril?" I ask while looking around.

"Ah, Ellen." Thranduril turns and smiles at me. "I am glad you are here, I must tell you we shall be departing soon." He says with a slight frown.

"Oh.. okay." I frown slightly at this but nod in understanding.

"I wished to speak with Oakenshield about possibly making you the liaison for Erebor?" He asks me with a tilt of his head.

"What does that entail?" I tilt my head in confusion, squinting at him. Thinking of all the possible things that a liaison is supposed to do. "Sorry I never watched any shows with medieval type monarchy's and stuff." I explain with a grimace.

"It's quite alright. Basically, you will be the voice of Erebor while in Greenwood. Keeping peace between us... You would stay in my kingdom." I purse my lips at this, gaining Thranduril's attention. He raises a brow. "Do you not.. like that?" He asks me with hidden nervousness.

"I just.. don't like the idea of being forced to stay somewhere by another person." I explain to him nervously and he grits his teeth. Angry that his plan to have me by his side so he can continue to seduce me isn't working. "I will happily help keep the peace, but I would like to live.. maybe between both kingdoms?" I say nervously, playing with my fingers. "Mayhaps... Dol Guldur...?" His eyes snap to me, wide with fear. Knowing that's where Sauron was last seen. I hold my hands up to him placatingly. "I won't live there but I want to make sure that Sauron can't use it as a breeding ground again. I will make the place the official plant kingdom kind of?" I play with my fingers nervously.

"Is Sauron not there?" Thranduril steps closer with worry in his gaze.

"No, my children helped Gandalf, Elrond and Galadriel storm the place and killed everything they saw while they rescued Thrain. My Cordyceps also helped with the spiders breeding underground." I shrug my shoulders and he frowns still.

"Could you not make your own home between Greenwood and Erebor?" He asks me pleadingly. "I shall have my own guards stationed there, I do not want you to be attacked." Thranduril pushes hair behind my ear making me blush.

"I uh.. I guess... We can make it a neutral meeting place to discuss stuff.." I look down and away from the king who smirks at me.

"I find this agreeable.." He nods getting slightly closer. "I have heard news that my son did not return to his tent last night?" He raises a brow to me, wanting to question me about it. Needing to know if his son got to me first.

"If he wants to tell you then he can. Mama, didn't raise no snitch Thran." I cross my arms over my chest with a huff, shaking my brain free from his elven wiles. Thranduril pouts slightly but nods.

"Alright, I shall simply ask him then.. he has told me that he wishes to explore Arda for a while.." Thranduril looks displeased at this.

"Yes, but I'm going to make him a sort of.. messenger mole." Thranduril raises his brow at this. Curious as to what my idea entails, he is so fascinated by my creativity. "It will allow you all to keep in contact, I just haven't gotten around to it yet." I admit with a grimace, rubbing my neck.

"What have you been doing?" Thranduril asks me with curiosity.

"Fixing up Dale to make it livable again." I admit with a proud smile. "It's coming along nicely, all of the people of Laketown have claimed their homes." I bounce on my feet with a giddy smile.

"I am happy to hear that." He smiles to me warmly.

"Ah, before I forget." I grab some seeds in hand and drop them on the soil, soon four moles that look like potatoes appear. Their eyes glowing with green energy, they all look up at me noses wiggling. Their whiskers are the potatoes roots. "You are Thranduril's messenger." I point to a mole who nods, I hold a seed in hand and create a beacon for him in the form of a necklace. "This will allow you to message from anywhere and receive messages anywhere." I hand it to the king and he smiles, putting it on immediately. Touching it with fondness.

"You are Legolas' and you are Kili's." The moles nod to me in understanding, I hand them necklaces to gift to their masters. The final mole looks to me, wiggling it's nose at me. "You're my mole." I make my own necklace and put it on.

"Ellen.." Thranduril looks to me and I raise a brow to him with a smile. He takes a breath before humming. "Thank you." I beam to him happily.

- One Month Later -

Erebor and Dale have been fixed up nicely, Dain and his men left back for home. Only a few staying to help with rebuilding.. Thranduril and the elven army returned to Greenwood which is healing nicely. I had Bilbo go home early on the back of a wicker horse that will grow food for him. He will be able to keep it and give it to Frodo if he so chooses. He was very thankful to me and gave me a big hug. Telling me to come visit Bag End.

I've sent along a group of muscular Groots to provide protection for Dis and the dwarves who wish to move to Erebor. I even gave a pouch of seeds that makes steeds to carry stuff with. They should be here in a few months.

I gave a mole to Thorin, Elrond, Galadriel and Gandalf so they can message each other more easier... I even told them of Saruman's betrayal which broke their hearts but.. they understand why he was so adamant that Sauron wasn't returning. He was covering for his master while he gains strength... I know what you must be thinking, cause I'm thinking it myself. Why don't I just toss he ring into Mordor' myself right now??

Well, if I do that then I won't have control of what happens. I won't have foresight that would be able to protect me. If I do it now then I could just be leading the ring right back to Sauron...  Plus, if I don't do it like in the movies. Then Pippin, Merry, Sam and Frodo won't become friends! Nor will Legolas and Gimli! Not to mention those ghost people will be stuck if Aragorn doesn't call on them to relieve them of their suffering..

Point is. If I do it in order, I have control. The only change in going to make, is I'm going to storm Moria with Balin when the time comes. He plans on going in a few years when the time is right and Erebor is settled. I am already thinking of possible plants to make to defeat the Balrog. It needs to be made out of Palm and Cactuses. Their water content will make them next to un burnable. They will hold the fucker while I kill it with my goddamn sword. My fireproof armor should be done by then. I plan on growing some form of temperature protecting insulation for the dwarves to install.

I'm now living between Greenwood and Erebor, a days ride from each on a regular horse. Only a couple hours on Chestnut, he's as fast if not faster then Shadowfax. I'm making my own house with Kili to help me with the designs. We've made this little house fort Knox! Anyone who doesn't have Human, Elf or dwarf blood is attacked by my plants. Gandalf and Radaghast are the only ones who get passes. It's already killed a few orcs.

"It's coming along great, love!" Kili smiles at me with a beam, looking at our crops that are flourishing even in winter. Thorin and Bard both agreed that I shouldn't let the population use my plants forever. That would ruin the lives of farmers who make their livings selling their crops. So I agreed to only let them use my plants until they can grow it them themselves.. using my modified seeds of course, that will help against diseases and the like. They agreed.

Kili took his portion of his earnings in Erebor and stored them for us both to use. It's.. a lot of fucking gold. It took multiple wicker horses to truck it all here, I dug out a basement to store it all. Kili says that I will want for nothing on his watch.

Legolas is having fun, he's already begun his journey. He promises to return every year for winter to spend time with us. But he's staying in Greenwood this winter to help his father find a replacement for him.. and I think Thranduril is grilling him still about the night.

"How're you doing my love?" Kili wraps his arms around me with a smile.

"Good, I'm just planning out the garden." I smile to him and he beams at me. He sighs happily while simply holding me in his arms.

"I love you.." he says and I blush slightly.

"I love you too Kili." I turn around and kiss him, making the dwarf smile at me.

"Want to head to Erebor? Uncle said he needs help getting the gold and gems sorted." My eyes sparkle at that and he grins.

"Sorting? I love sorting!" I say with a beaming smile that makes him laugh.

"I knew you would, you enjoy organizing things and making them tidy. Is that why you hated going into the room Smaug made his nest in?" He asks me with amusement twinkling in his eyes.

"Yes! How a dragon could just lay on that mess is beyond me.. if I was a dragon I would hoard plants... Then organize them by climate and species." I huff out making the dwarf laugh with amusement.

- Months Later -

"I'm so fucking nervous." I look to Kili with fear in my eyes, playing with my hands. Picking at the skin of my nails with a whine.

"She will love you Men Kurdu (my heart)." Kili holds my hand in his, giving it a squeeze to calm me down. Not wanting me to injure my hands due to my nerves.. just as horns sound announcing the arrival of the Blue Mountain Dwarves. I squeak with nervousness, Kili gets in his tippy toes and gives me a kiss to calm me down.

We wait a few moments before I see a dwarf in a dress walk into Erebor, leading the charge. A full beard on what I assume is her face. "Dang, I envy dwarves.. I want a fuckin beard..." I pout and Kili laughs softly with a smile. Thorin tries not to laugh but Fili bursts out laughing, leaning on his uncle for support.

The black haired dress dwarf strides up to Thorin, giving him a glare that could rival Chilis from Bluey. "Taking mah son's to kill a bloody dragon!!!" She proceeds to hit him hard repeatedly with a walking stick, Thorin cries out and tried to block the hits.

"I tried- ow! I tried to stop- DÌS!" Thorin bellows out in pain.

"WHOOP HIS ASS!!" I bellow with a beaming grin. grab his dick and twist it! GRAB HIS DICK! Give em the ole dick twist!!

Dìs continues to pummel the king before backing off, panting softly she brushes her hair out of her face. Composing herself with a nod. She turns to her sons and grabs them both by the ear with a scowl. "Going off to kill a dragon! When I told yae not to!!!" Tugging on their ears they both cry out, Kili looking to me pleadingly. Wanting me to save him.

"Nuh uh, you dug your grave now you lie in it." I hold my hands up and he gives me a look of betrayal. She gives her boys ears a tug.

"Who's the lass?" Dìs looks to me with a brow raised.

"Ellen Paige, at your service." I bow to the princess and her eyes widen.

"You're the lass who's stolen me Kili's heart!" She smiles at me and I sigh with relief. "I nae thought I'd see the day when he would find a dam!" She looks me up and down and nods with a hum. "Kind of suspected he'd end up with an elf though."

"Amad (mom)!!" Kili says with wide eyes and I snort out a laugh, that makes Dìs' eyes widen in surprise. "Ellen acts more like a dwarrowdam (female dwarf) than an elf..." Kili admits with a blush of embarrassment.

"Aye, I canna see tha! I nae heard an elf snort before!" She smiles with welcome surprise.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Lady Dìs." I bow to her and she continues to smile.

"No need to call me Lady, Ellen. Call me Dìs or Agnât'amad (mother in law)." she winks at me and Kili whines out with a bright red face

"Amad!!!!" He cries out and she laughs at her sons expense.

"Already causing chaos.." Thorin sighs while rubbing his back where he was hit. She gives him a glare and he shuts up with wide eyes.

"So who killed the bastard?" Dìs rests her hands on her hips, looking to Thorin. Then the bones of Smaug that still rest in the entry way. I plan on mounting the scull of him above the throne for Thorin.

"That would be Ellen. She is a Seer from another world and a Druid. She saved our lives many a time, I watched her kill Smaug myself.. she even survived a blast of his flames point blank." Thorin puffs out his chest and smiles to me.

Dìs looks to me in shock, looking me up and down. "Well that explains all tha plant people walking aboot!" She says with a little laugh and smile. "Thank yae for sending us tha guards and horses dear. You saved many lives from the orcs who tried to attack us." She wags her finger at me with a warm smile.

"It's my pleasure Dìs, I'm happy that you all arrived here safe and sound." I smile at her as well, quite liking the woman already.

"Come sister, let me show you how we have repaired our home." Thorin holds his arm out and Dìs intertwines her arm in his with a smile. They begin to walk through the halls.

Kili sighs with relief. "I want to go home now.." he admits and I laugh softly.

"So, what does Agnât'amad mean?" I ask him with a furrowed brow, he blushes a bright red and Fili laughs at his brother's expense.

"I uh-" Kili begins to sputter.

"It means in the common tongue, Mother-in-law." Fili says with a chuckle, watching his brother whine out at him with a look of betrayal.

"I- oh..." My face erupts in a blush at the thought of Kili marrying me. I look and see the dwarf a bright red as well.

"Well, I'm gonna go catch up with Amad." Fili steps away and jogs after his mother. Amad? That must mean mother- holy shit, Kili has been having me call him Daddy hasn't he? Kinky fucker.

"You can go too baby, I'll just be tidying up some." Kili looks to me and frowns slightly.

"Do you not want to join us?" He asks and my eyes widen.

"Well, I thought you would want time alone with your mother and all.. you haven't seen her in like a year, Kii." He smiles to me warmly and shrug, offering me his arm which I take.

"It doesn't matter love. C'mon, let's show off all your hard work." I blush and follow after him.

Chapter Text

Written: November 9th, 2024

Authors Note: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

🔞 - Legolas & Kili

- Few Years Later -

"Thorin, you didn't-" I look to him with a whine, showing off the giant statue in the entry way of Erebor.

"Of course I did!" He laughs at me with a smile. "You culled the dragon, slayed Azog and his spawn... You saved Durin's line, it is the least I can do to thank you."

I look up at the giant statue, it's me dressed in my Ram Armor. Standing on the skull of Smaug, in my fists the skulls of Bolg and Azog held high. Vines surrounding my form, sword in hand. Flowey at the bottom with a demon face. "Your people are incredible craftsman." I say to him with a smile and he beams.

"I'm happy you think that. Do you like it?" He asks me nervously.

"Yeah, I do..." I smile at Thorin and pull him in for a big hug. Giving him a squeeze which makes him wheeze.

"My father has given the order, your armor has begun production. As well as the dragon bone weapons for the company." Thorin smiles to me and I squeal with delight.

"Yes!! I can't wait, I need that armor for phase one of my plan." I rub my plans together and smirk evily. Balrog mark your days, that Mine is going to be MINE! HAH!

"Plan? What plan?" He looks at me with brows furrowed in confusion.

"I'm going to take back Moria for Balin and Dwalin to rule. Im already planning everything out, that armor well help me as well as the dragon weapons." I nod my head sagely.

"Why must you need that armor?" He looks at me with confusion. "Is there not just Orcs and Goblins infesting the mines?" He looks to me with a firm gaze, worry clouding his face.

"No, there's a Balrog.. Durin's Bane." Thorin gasps with wide eyes, having thought the beast was a legend. "In the stories it kills Gandalf. I sure as shit ain't letting that happen... I need to focus my powers and learn how to go super sayan."  I know Gandalf needs to be bleached to become Gandalf the white.. But I'm the hand of Valar right? I should be able to bequeath power onto people? Or at the very least talk to the Valar?

"Super.. say-ahn?" He looks confused and I grimace. I would kill for someone to understand my fucking jokes..

"Basically, what I did when I purged the darkness from you? Power up with the green wisps and stuff." I gesture around and he nods his head slowly.

"I understand..?" He squints and just nods. "You wish to begin training?" He asks me and I nod. "Why don't I have Dwalin teach you how to use weapons properly? So you need not focus on your magics. I doubt there will be much soil in the mines, it will take time for your plants to grow without it."

"True.... Okay, I'll learn under Dwalin. We can commute to Erebor everyday on Chestnut." I nod to him with a smile.

"Wonderful! You shall begin your training soon, I shall ask go Dwalin." He nods his head and walks out of the room, giving me a wave as he leaves. Well, I'm gonna go buy some sweets from Bombur. He's flourished with the sugar and flour I've helped provide. They've even began making chocolate!

🔞 - Few Days Later - 🍋

Sitting on a stone surrounded by the forest of Greenwood that has flourished in the few years. My eyes held closed, legs in a lotus pose my hands on my knees. I sigh and feel the plant energy's around me, fluctuating and moving.. I can feel something inside of me.. bright green and powerful, like a warm spring breeze filled with the scent of flowers.

Opening my eyes I look around and see the same green energy, unseen to the human eye. I smirk and bid it to surround me, watching as it moves and swirls around my form. I float in the air and stand on the rock, my eyes wide in surprise. "My god I'm the avatar.." i say with a grin, with a thought a tree moves in front of me. Just by me thinking it. "Wonderful." I smile wide.

"Rosebud!!" Turning around I see Legolas on a horse with a beaming smile, trotting towards me from our home.

"Leggy!!" I squeal and fly towards him using my power, nearly tackling him off the horse but hr managed to steady himself. "What are you doing here? It isn't winter yet!" I beam at my boyfriend who smiles at me.

"I wanted to see you again my love. I missed you." He kisses me gently at first, I giggle and wrap my arms and legs around him. He nudges the horse onward and it begins to trot, forcing me to grind against Legolas' bulge. He groans deeply, eyes lidded but watching where we're going. He licks and sucks at my tongue deeply before pulling away with a pant. "Did.. I ever tell you.. I wanted to fuck you while riding a horse? Ever since our first ah.. encounter.." he laughs softly while raising his brows.

I blush a bright red. "Is.. is that a kink of yours?" I ask him while my body continues to grind against him, rubbing the tips of his ears. He shivers with a shaky exhale.

"Y-Yes.." he manages to get out.

I lean forward with a predatory gaze. "If you agree to participate in one of my kinks, I'll gladly let you fuck me on the horse." Legolas' eyes dilate quickly from my words alone.

"What's is.. your 'kink'?" He asks me with curiosity.

"I wanna tie you down and ride you, suck you off and overall tease you. I want you at my mercy, begging to cum..." I purr into his ear and he whines, tightening his grip on the reigns.

"A-alright! I-I agree-" he nods his head eagerly.

"Push your pants down then." Legolas groans, standing up on his horse, he unlaces his pants. Pushing them down to reveal his long hard cock, throbbing with need.

"May I cut your pants off, Rosebud?" Legolas purrs to me in a husky voice.

"Fuck yeah." I nod and he smirks, grabbing an elvish Dagger he stops the horse from moving. Reaching down he grabs the cloth, slicing it open to reveal that I'm not wearing underwear. He looks at me with a glint in his eyes.

"Naughty little vixen.." he smirks at me.

"Always." I wink at him while sticking my tongue out. He sheaths his dagger at his side.

"Is this portion of the forest safe?" He asks me and I nod.

"Mhm, I have protective plants all along the roads and pathways. The Hive is even hidden underground, ready to pounce at any orcs." Legolas nods and reaches downward, rubbing a finger through my slit.

"Already a little slick.." he purrs to me with a smirk, slowly pushing a finger inside of me. I bite my lip and moan, he thrusts it a few times before pulling it out and sticking it in his mouth with a moan. He grabs my body and pulls me close to him, pressing his cock against my pussy. He clicks his tongue and the horse begins to trot around, forcing us to rub against each other. "Oh fuck.." Legolas pants out soft, holding me close to his body while he pays attention to where the horse is going.

"Oh- i think- holy shit I have a new kink-" I say with wide eyes, enjoying the bouncing and grinding that the horses movement makes us do. I always knew Horse Boys were kinky fuckers.

"Thank- by the Valar- thank you.." Legolas' cock slowly gets slicker and slicker from my pussy, he reaches a hand down and tests me. Pushing a finger in with only slight resistance, he grimaces knowing he'll have to grind some more to arouse me. Not wanting to harm me in any way.

"Mmm- Legolas.. Please?" I look to him and pout, he looks down and bites his lip when he sees my adorable face. Swollen lips and an innocent look. He nods shakily and stops the horse by clenching his legs. He grabs ahold of me and lifts me up gently, moving his prehensile cock he lowers me down. Groaning when the tip breaches easily, he soon bottoms out and I pant loudly. Resting my forehead against him.

"R-Ready?" He asks me with a shudder of excitement.

"Mmh I'm ready Leggy." I nod and he smiles, holding me close he clicks his tongue. The horse begins to speed up and trots, with each bounce it fucks us together. Forcing us to do quick powerful thrusts with every horses step.

Legolas moans loudly, unable to contain his voice, eyes locked ahead to make sure we don't get lost. I lean forward and kiss up the length of his neck, moaning against his ear. My eyes lidded with pleasure, every movement feels incredible. Holy fuck, I never thought this would feel good. It's like a washing machine and a fucking machine had a baby!! "Legolassss-" I whine into his ear.

"So fucking good- oh by the valar your cunt-" Legolas begins to curse and speak in Sindarin as he loses himself in his lust. Burying his head into my hair, he greedily smells the natural scent of my shampoo. Legolas clicks his tongue again and the horse speeds up, my eyes widen and I moan loudly. The horse going into a full gallop. Making the thrusts hard and powerful. Legolas pants loudly, gripping onto me and the reins for dear life. "I'm gonna cum-" he says with urgency, making the horse speed up.

"Me tooooo" I whine out, clinging onto my elf. The band inside of me snaps, and I arch my back against him with a keen. Squirting all over the saddle and Legolas' cock, he growls loudly feeling my walls massage his cock and tighten around him. He moans and cums deep inside of me, slowing the horse down as he spreads his seed.

We both pant loudly, resting against each other. Connected by our groins. "By the valar.." Legolas chuckles into my neck, decorating it with kiss after kiss. "That was incredible.."

"Holy fucking shit.. I didn't know that was a thing.." I say while resting back on the horses neck, the horse shakes his head in disbelief of what just happened. "You sir horsey are getting all the fucking treats for putting up with this." I pat the horse with a smile and he neighs loudly as if saying 'damn right'. "Let's head home, I wanna give Kii some love~" I smirk at Legolas and he laughs softly with a smile. I move to pull his cock out but he stops me, pulling me close to him once more.

"No my dear, you're gonna warm my cock until we get home." Legolas sucks a hickey onto my collarbone, making me shudder out a moan. He clicks his tongue with a grin, the horse begins to move and I whine at the sensation. Legolas groans with a grin, eyes locked on the path as we begin to go home.

- Home -

Panting loudly, my pussy oozing slick down onto the saddle. Legolas groaning and moaning while we finally arrive home. I lay against the horse with a whine, Legolas pulls out of me with a rock hard cock and lifts me up. Dismounting the both of us from the steed.

My legs are like jelly, so he sets me down on a chair. His cock still hanging free, my slick dripping off of it. He quickly ties his horse up. Kili walks out with smile that turns to surprise when he sees me with my pussy out to the world. He looks to Legolas who grins at him. "Looks like you two had a great time." Kili laughs softly with a smile.

"Kii, I wanna suck youuu." I whine to Kili with a pout, the dwarves eyes widen in surprise. He looks to Legolas who smirks with pride.

"What did you do to her?" He asks the elf in disbelief, lifting his girlfriend up off of the chair bridal style and walking her into the house.

"Had her ride me while on horseback and used the horse gallop to fuck me into her." Legolas smirks and walks inside the home, shutting the door and locking it. Kili rushes me up to the bedroom, Legolas following with elven speed.

"Whoa.." Kili says with wide eyes

"It's something I've always wanted to try, none of my past partners wanted to do it." Legolas shrugs his shoulders, quickly disrobing his armor while Kili takes off his clothes.

"Kiiiiii." I whine out, reaching to his pants. He tugs them off and I smile like a kid in a candy store, grabbing his meaty cock in hand I begin to stroke him. The dwarf moans with fluttering eyes, his cock already half hard just from the sight of me.

"Fuck Amrâlimê.. So eager.." Legolas crawls up behind me and fucks his cock inside with a single thrust. I moan loudly as the elf begins to fuck into me with a groan.

"I can't get enough of you..." Legolas growls while sucking more hickeys on my neck.

Kili steps up closer and lets me take control, I yank him close and lick up the length of his cock. He shudders with pleasure. "Your mouth is sinful.." he whispers and Legolas nods in agreement while fucking into me with long hard strokes. I moan and whine, slurping Kili's cock into my mouth with a hum. The dwarf holds onto my head with a groan, eyes lidded. "Holy fuck.."

"Such a good girl for us.. taking an elf and dwarf.." Legolas purrs into my ear with a smirk. "Maybe one day we can fuck your ass and pussy at the same time.." he grins to Kili who nods in agreement.

I moan and take a deep breath, relaxing my throat. I pull Kili forward and deep throat him, my eyes pinched in concentration. "SWEET MAHAL- FUUUCK." Kili yells out while clinging to my head, wheezing and moaning while I slurp up his cock.

Legolas groans, eyes locked onto my mouth and Kilis cock disappearing into it. "I would love to fuck your throat another day Rosebud." Legolas wraps a hand around my throat, looking to Kili he smirks. Squeezing my throat my eyes widen and Kili moans loudly. Bending over top of my head, nearly cumming on the spot.

I whine with a keen, Legolas watches my face intently. Releasing his hold I gasp for air through my nose and squeal when I cum suddenly, the rush of oxygen is a rush of endorphins.

I squirt weakly all over Legolas, he groans into my neck fucking me hard. With a few more thrusts he cums again inside of me, holding his cock there with a growl. "Yeah.. such a good girl.. Suck Kili's cum out, hm?" Legolas whispers to me, his cock snugly held on my pussy.

Kili groans and whines as I bob my head against his cock. "C-Close.." he shudders out, Legolas grins. Wrapping a hand around my throat he squeezes again, Kili cums with a shout. I swallow around his cock making sure I won't choke on his cum. Kili wheezes out pants, milking his cock with my throat. Legolas massaging it while I swallow, adding an extra sensations for Kili.

The dwarf pulls out with a keen, becoming oversensitive. He falls back and lands in a chair with a loud wheeze. Laying his head back in his chair. I take big gulps of breath, laying limp on the bed. Legolas smiles, feeling my pussy pulse around his softening cock. "You did so well my love.." pushing my sweaty hair away from my face.

"Hmmm..." I lean into his touch with a smile on my face. He smiles warmly at me, full of love. Legolas pulls out of me with only a twitch of his eye being the indication of his sensitivity.

Kili looks at me for a moment, he grins as his cock begins to slowly regain life. "My turn.." he steps up with a smirk, moving to fuck me while I pout.

Authors Note: Holy fucking shit this was hot 👀

Chapter Text

Written: November 9th, 2024

- Few Weeks Later - Erebor -

With a face scrunched up in discomfort, I hold a hand to my stomach as the dwarf measures me with a hum. My stomach feels like it's churning, many smells make me want to vomit for some reason.. I think I'm coming down with something. Maybe an illness from middle earth? Walking over to the massive dragon hide, he marks off things onto the hide with his blade. "Hmph. Thank yae for comin lass." Fodin says with a smile to me, waddling over to me again.

"It's no problem Fodin, thank you for making my armor." I smile to the black beared chubby dwarf.

"Tis an honor to make this armor! No dwarf has ever worked with dragon hide before!" He smiles at me with a twinkle in his eyes "but I must ask lass, have yae been eating too many sweets?" Fodin asks me with a tilt of his head.

"Huh?" I look at him in confusion. "Well, no more then usual... And I've been moving around the same." I shrug with indifference and he nods his head.

"The measurements around your belly have changed lass. Do you have any suitors? It could be that yae are with pebble." He looks to me and my eyes widen. Pebble....? Do... does he mean pregnant? Dwarves usually use a lot of stone, Jewel and metal based terms of endearment.. as well as birds. I've read them call babies pebbles in fanfiction.

"I uh.. I'll go see my doctor to see." I play with my hands nervously. God dammit, I should have made a fucking condom plant.. or taught the dwarves to make sheep skin condoms!! FUUUUCCCCKKKKKK!!!! If I'm pregnant there's no way Kili or Legolas will let me go off to fight the Balrog now!!!

"Aye, yae should do that lass. I'll use your original measurements for yae armor but make it adjustable." He nods his head before walking back over to the hide. I nod shakily before getting up and leaving his workshop, I'll finish shopping after I visit Oin.

- Healers Wing -

Walking into the healers wing, I see several dwarves laying in bed. Some coughing loudly and looking sickly, I stay clear of them. Looking around I spot Oin hard at work. "Oin!" I call out while rushing to him, looking at the white haired dwarf with a hearing aid   made of a plants that magnifies sounds sticking out of his ear.

"Ah! Lass!" He smiles at me, leaning on his cane. "How cannae help ya?" He looks up to me.

"I ah.. need a private visitation if possible? Are you free? I'll happily make some medicine to help with your patients?" I offer and he smiles with a laugh.

"Aye, that could help. Deliver them to me later, Come with me." He walks out of the room, and shows me to a private room.

He shuts the door and locks it, turning to me as he walks over to a stool. Using his cane to support himself. "What cannae help ya with today?" Oin sits down on a stool with a grunt, resting his hands on his cane in front of him.

"I ah.. think I may be.. pregnant..?" I say with a look of nervousness, rubbing my hands together. "The leather master making my armor said the measurements around my stomach have changed... And I don't know how you people test for pregnancy in this world.." I would kill for a modern pregnancy test.. or a couple plan B's for future use.

Oin's eyes widen and he nods, getting up with a grunt. He walks over to a cabinet setting his cane against it, rummaging through drawers while humming to himself before saying "Hah! Found ya bugger." He grabs a small bundle of dried herbs, grabbing his cane and walking back over to a different area plopping them in a bowl. He walks across the room and grabs a kettle off of a small hearth, pouring the hot water on the herbs. He allows them to steep for a minute. Is that abortion tea or something? I knew that's a thing with fantasy settings..

"Okay lass, yer gonna have ta take a wee tinkle on this. If it changes color that means yeh have a pebble on the way!" Oin smiles at me, handing me the bowl of liquid and herbs. Oh, a pregnancy test.

"Oh... So it's like a modern pregnancy test. like it makes a chemical reaction due to proteins in my urine created when pregnancy happens." Oin raises a brow in confusion not understanding the science, just that it works. I laugh it off with a shrug and just nod. "Sorry ah.. Okay.. where..?" I look around in confusion.

"Right behind tha screen, there's a toilet and drain." He smiles to me and I nod, sliding off of the bench I walk over to the screen. Closing it behind me I slide my breeches and underwear off. Setting the bowl down on the floor, I squat before grabbing it again. Holding it under me I concentrate for a moment before peeing. I sigh softly with a frown. When I'm finished I don't dare look at the bowl, I clean my hands in a small basin with soap root that grows on the wall. A stream of water pours from above and empties out of the basin, letting me wash my hands. I wave my hand near the root and make a big leaf. Plucking it free.

Grabbing the bowl with the leaf as a napkin, I walk out and show the bowl to Oin. He grabs a tiny wooden stick and stirrs the herbs and pee water around. He waits a moment and hums. "It seems.. you have a pebble growing. Congratulations lass!" He smiles up to me and my eyes widen in horror. NOOO I DONT WANT A CHEST BURSTER!!! PREGNANCY IN THE MIDDLE AGES WAS HORRIBLE!! DIEING WAS SO EASYYYY!!!! I WANNA DIE FROM A BALROG OR SAURON HIMSELF!! I WANNA ENTER THE HALLS OF VALHALLA!! NOT SIT AT THE LOSERS TABLE IN HELHEIM!!!!

"I-" I stare ahead with wide eyes. oh God.. so many plans are gonna have to be altered..

"Do you not want the wee pebble?" Oin asks me calmly, completely understanding my plight. He's had many dwarrowdam come to him for the special tea to rid them of the burden. They want the children but know that they won't be able to care for the babe.

"I.. I like kids.. but.." I exhale shakily. "They make my brain go crazy if I'm around them too long.." I become overstimulated around kids and it makes me angry, I of course am able to handle the anger but it still happens. "I.. I'll need to talk to Kili.." and Legolas...

"Aye, you should do that lass. And yeh should wed before you birth the pebble." He nods his head and I grimace looking at him in confusion.

"Is marriage really necessary..?" Why do I need to marry him before the baby is born???? The fuck does marriage have to do with anything?

"If yah don't the child will be considered a bastard child of Durin. He won't have any claim to the throne whatsoever or any of tha riches of Erebor." I sigh softly and close my eyes. Two things I hate. Pregnancy and Marriage..

"Thats not exactly a bad thing.. but okay, I'll talk to Kili." I nod to Oin who smiles patting me on the back. I stand up with a sigh and exit the healing wing. Entering the main hall where I see Chestnut waiting for me patiently. A bunch of children crowded around him, I smile slightly and continue on with my shopping. Needing spices for cooking, plus Kili needs more whetstones.. and leather to repair some of his clothes. I'll send Oin the herbs tomorrow via Chestnut.

- Home -

Sliding off of Chestnut, the horse opens its abdomen allowing me to grab my things from inside.  "Welcome home my love." Legolas smiles at me, walking out to help me grab the stuff I bought.

"Hey ah.. we need to have a group meeting?" I say and he raises a brow.

"Alright." He looks at me with slight concern, Chestnut walks off to lay down and put down roots where the soil is softest. We both walk inside, Legolas begins to take the items I bought out of the bags.

"Welcome home love!" Kili smiles at me, jogging down the stairs with a beaming smile.

"Hey.. I need to talk to you two. It's important." I bite my inner cheek with nerves. Kili sits down at the table just as Legolas finishes putting things away. He slides in beside him, I sit down in my seat and shakily exhale. I'll just rip it off like a bandaid. "I'm pregnant." Both men's eyes widen Kili wheezes as if he's been punched by Mahal himself, both men look at each other.

"That.. that is not possible." Legolas says with confusion. "Do you wish to have children?" He asks me with slight urgency and happiness.

"Complete Honesty?" They both nod eagerly, I look at the two of them "Fuck no!" This makes both men wince. "I don't want kids for a long while!" I say with a look of panic, a hand on my stomach.

"How is it not possible Legolas?" Kili looks to the elf. "Her previous worlds protections wore off a while ago. We were just idiots and didn't pull out because of the heat of the moment." Kili shrugs with indifference.

"A female elf, when they are pregnant becomes weaker. Their fëa or soul, feeds the elfling... An elf must want to have children for it to happen, or her fëa won't allow it." Legolas explains to Kili and me. Are you kidding me?? I hate kids!!! I tolerate them!!!! What the FUCK!!!

"The Valar have a sick sense of fucking humor then." I scowl with complete un amusement. I sure as shit didn't authorize this transaction on my goddamn soul. "I tolerate children, I can babysit and watch them for hours. But I can't-" I run my fingers through my hair, giving it a tug. "I can't tolerate them for long periods.." i wont be able to raise a fucking full blooded elf kid. Good God they remain babies for YEARS!!! AND TODDLERS TILL THEY'RE FUCKING FIFTY OR SOMETHING!!!! HALF DWARF AND HALF ELF IS SLIGHTLY MORE MANAGEABLE, BUT NOT BY MUCH!!!

"Well it has not been long... You.. you can abort it..?" Kili says with a frown, Legolas frowns as well. Both races love children. God damnit... Look at those faces..

"I.. I won't... I'm not a pro life person or whatever but.. I can clearly see that this is important to the both of you.." i sigh loudly. I'm willing to give birth to the chest burster if it means they're happy. I love them too much..

"You dont have to do this if you don't want to Rosebud." Legolas kisses the side of my head, pushing the hair from my face.

"It's fine. I'm fine.. I can do this." I smile to the both of them. "I can make a plant babysitter if worse comes to worse." I say with a laugh, both me smile with relief.

"But.. who's child is it?" Legolas looks to Kili who blanches, eyes wide. Having forgotten that we've been fucking like rabbits.

"Shit.. we've ah.. both.. inside her.." Kili scratches his fuzzy cheek with a grimace, his beard finally coming in after I made him a beard oil.

"Well, it will be a surprise." I huff out with a smile. "Russian Roulette and eiither way it will be a prince... Fuck! I will have to have two!" I groan with a pout. That makes Legolas laugh with a beaming smile.

"Well, we will have to marry before the babe shows.." Kili looks to Legolas seeing him grimace. "What is it?"

"My father.. doesn't know that I am in a relationship with Ellen... I have kept it secret... He yearns for her as well, I am not sure how he will feel if she marries me." Legolas admits with a scowl all of us moving to the living room. A plush plant couch filled with cotton sits there, we all fall into it and begin to cuddle.

"The feast of Starlight is coming up.. Your father sent me an invitation. Winters gonna hit after." I say with a soft sigh. "How will marriage even work with us three?"

"We... We can have a special ceremony, uniting the kingdoms through you. Make it a momentous occasion. You will be the uniting force between dwarves and Elves...?" Legolas says with a nod.

"Man.. I hate weddings..." I frown and Kili kisses it away.

"It's part of being in the royal family my love." Kili laughs at me with a smile, I huff out.

"Fine.. both of you tell the kings, we'll have to set up a meeting here." I groan deeply and snuggle into my lovers, who happily let me.

- Few Days Later -

Thorin dismounts his Ram with a thud, Dwalin right behind him on his own. Vines reach out and grab the reigns of the beasts, leading them to the stable to be fed. From the trees Thranduril strides atop of Moose, Tauriel riding behind him on a white horse. He slows to a stop and dismounts with grace.

"King Thranduril." Thorin nods his head to him.

"King Thorin." The elf nods back the both of them walking into the home, they're hit by the scent of something cooking.

"Ada (Dad), I am so happy you could make it." Legolas smiles and stands up, giving his father a hug.

"Irak’adad, glad you could come." Kili smiles, cleaning up the dishes I used to bake.

"Hey boys. None of that kingly bullshit in this house. Drop the masks to the door, we're people in this house. No titles or bullshittery." I wave a spoon at them with a scowl, setting it down I open the oven and check on the banana bread. Holding a hand out a vine drops a toothpick into my hand, the rack pulls out and I check the progress. "Almost done.. tea?" I offer with a smile, a tea kettle dropping from the ceiling being held by vines.

Thranduril sits in a larger chair while Thorin steps up onto his chair that puts him at equal footing. Dwalin and Tauriel behind both of their kings. "I would enjoy some, thank you Shining Star." He smiles to me and I nod, the tea kettle pouring tea into his cup. Setting some sugar on the side or cream before retreating to the ceiling.

Thorin takes a cup as well, blowing on it before sipping. "Mmm, tis good." He looks to me with a smile.

"It's a blend from China in my world. It's called Puar tea." I smile to them and sit down.

"Why did you call us here, Ellen?" Thorin sips from his cup once more, humming at the taste.

"We have an announcement to make, multiple actually.." Kili steps up beside me with a smile.

"First one, I'm pregnant." Thorin's eyes widen and he nearly drops his tea cup if it wasn't for the vines on the table. Thranduril nearly chokes on his tea, coughing loudly.

"And.. we're not exactly sure who the father is." Kili says with a grimace of a smirk.

"What do you mean??" Thorin leans forward with a scowl. Thinking that I'm unfaithful, but he doesn't like the sound of that. He knows me.

"We are.. in a polyamorous relationship." Legolas steps on the other side me, resting his arm around me. "All three of us together, only, me and Kili don't do anything together in terms of relationship. We simply both love Ellen." Thorin's eyes stare at all of us wide and with confusion.

"We've been.. active.. the both of us with her so we're not sure who's the father yet... But we don't want the child to be a bastard." Kili bites his lip.

Thorin leans forward and groans into his hands.  "Only you Kili.." he huffs out into his hands.

"If you marry one and it is the others that will make him a bastard.." Thranduril exhales through his nose with a scowl, jaw clenched. Angry beyond belief that his son has earned my heart.

"We were thinking.. A triple marriage. I came up with the idea.." Legolas says nervously to his father who glares at him while clenching his fists. "We both would marry Ellen, and unite the kingdoms in a way. Officially."

"A crown Prince of both kingdoms marrying a single woman who unites them?" Kili says with a brow raise to his uncle, giving him the proposal.

"May I speak frankly? Since the 'masks' are off?" Thranduril says to me and I smile with a nod.

"Anything said here stays here, or else you get your ass whooped." I say with a no nonsense nod, ready to whoop their asses with a chancla.

"I am.. angered that you choose to marry a prince instead of a king." Thranduril looks to me, Thorin nearly gags at the idea of himself being with me. He sees me as a sister now.

"Status doesn't matter to me." I look to Thranduril, my brows furrowed in complete confusion. "If I had it my way I wouldn't be marrying anybody." I sigh and both men look hurt from this, I grimace and try to explain. Pinching the bridge of my nose. "Sorry ah.. Lemme explain boys, it's not you. Marriage in my world had a really high failure rate. It makes it harder to leave if something happens, because the marriage is chaining you to the other person... I've seen how that happens first hand with my mother.. she was married to a man who was an alcoholic.. he ah.. hit her and when she tried to leave he got lawyers involved. He stalled the process of separation.. for years. It took a private investigator finding out he was fucking another woman while they were still married before she could leave.. with all his assets."

"It is not like that here my love." Legolas looks to me with lidded eyes. "Elves are strictly monogamous." I squint at him in confusion.

"What about-" I look to Thranduril in confusion, knowing he has a wife. I know she's dead, so she waiting in elf heaven. Valinor or the Undying Lands. Elf lore in the LOTR is really huge, they're basically the equivalent of angels. Cause like Glorfindel was killed by a Balrog a really long time ago and the Valar brought him back to guard Elrond. Shits wack.

"Legolas' mother passed into the halls of Mando's... She is not waiting for me in the Undying Lands..." Thranduril sighs softly. So he's a widower?

"Oh.. I'm.. I'm sorry.." I frown, Thorin looks to Thranduril in understanding. His sister lost her husband and the grief was unimaginable, he took up the father role for Kili and Fili.

"I.. am in agreement to your idea, Legolas." Thorin says to us three with a nod.

"I..." Thranduril looks to his son who is pleading with his eyes. "I.. agree as well." Thranduril grits his teeth, his anguish is worth it when he sees me beam with a smile. Happy our plan worked out.

"Anybody want Banana Bread??" I offer with a grin, vines bringing it over to the table for everyone to try. "It's a delicacy from my land! It's my Buma's recipe- sorry ah.. Grandmother's recipe. She got it from her grandmother and so fourth, its really simple." I smile eagerly, wanting them to try it's deliciousness. I altered the recipe so the bread is more dense then fluffy like hers was.

"Ooo I shall try some." Dwalin says with a smile, happily taking a slice and biting into it with a hum. His eyes flutter shut as he enjoys the natural slight sweetness of the over ripe bananas cooked into the bread. "Delicious." He licks his fingers clean and begs for more with his eyes. I giggle and offer him another slice which he takes.

Thranduril eats some as well with a slight smile. Thorin eats it with wide eyes. "Tis very good Ellen. Your Grandmother was an excellent woman."

"Thank you!" I giggle again, Thranduril, Kili and Legolas smile at me while eating some of the bread.

"I shall take some to my father, I suspect he will ask you for the recipe. He is a fan of sweets." Thorin says with a laugh.

"Here, I'll write down the recipe." Holding a hand out, vines drop down and hand me a piece of natural paper as well as some ink. "Let's see.." i scribble down the recipe while sticking my tongue out in concentration. Writing my signature at the bottom and the date. I hand it to Thorin with a smile.

"Thank you, I'm sure Bombur will be thrilled." Thorin laughs, stealing another slice of the bread.

- Later -

"Thranduril!" He stops just as he was going to mount his steed, turning to look to me. "I uhm..." I take a long deep breath to center myself. "I'm sorry for brushing off your advances.. I wanted them, believe me.. but uh.. I thought your wife was waiting for you in Valinor.. that's why I didn't start anything.." I explain to him while playing with my fingers, his eyes light up in understanding.

"I see.. So.. you will allow me the chance to court you?" He asks me with hope glimmering in his eyes and I grimace.

"You're gonna have to talk to the council with that one. Legolas and Kili have say who joins, Our relationship is based on communication and trust." Thranduril nods his head with a slight frown.

"I under, I shall speak with them when I see you at the Feast of Starlight... Shining Star.." he bows his head to me before mounting his steed, taking off into the Greenwood.

Chapter Text

Written: November 10th, 2024

-  One Month Later  -

Legolas wraps his arms around me guiding the horse using the reins, trotting through the forest of the Greenwood. Kili beside us riding his Ram, Chestnut in the back hauling our clothes and the like.

We're not going to the underground castle shown in the Hobbit movies. Legolas told me that, that castle serves as a way to protect them from forces. Their original kingdom was held in the North where the spiders were infesting. But since I took care of it like a bad bitch, all they had to do was clean it out of the webs. Which my infected spiders helped with since they could get to where the elves couldn't reach. The spiders now act as guards hidden underground in trapdoors. Mycelium roots acting as the trigger, they scent the air for the smell of Warg, Orc, Troll and Goblins. If it smells it the spider pounces and kills it, dragging the corpse into the hole to feed the fungus. Allowing it to keep the spider exoskeleton fresh, fixing any injuries to the carapace.

Hearing movement in the trees, I close my eyes and sense. Having been training with the sword and my magic for the entire month. Using my green magic, I feel the trees around me. Sensing a humanoid hidden in the branches. "We have company, I think it's a guard." I say to my boyfriend's.

"Yes, they're making sure we arrive safely my love." Legolas smiles to me with love, giving my neck a delicate kiss.

"Pfft, don't need to. I can sense every single living thing in this forest." I roll my eyes playfully, crossing my arms. "I've been working on my Spidey sense." I smirk proudly, puffing my chest out.

"From that hero story you told us of??" Kili asks me with a beaming smile, enjoying the tales from my homeland.

"Indeed, just by moving every single plant I can get a feel of if somethings touching it... If there's a void in my vision then I can see them... It's kind of like Toph's earth ending vision actually.. now that I think about it." I squint in thought and Legolas laughs softly. It's like a mixture of Tophs vision and Daredevils, I dissociate and let my mind sink into the power. Allowing me to see with it instead of my eyes.

- Few Hours Later -

We soon arrive to a beautiful gateway made of natural wood. I hawk at the all natural kingdom. Looks like Lothlorien except no Mallorn trees. "Holy shit I'm gonna love it here.." I mumble to myself, looking around in awe.

"Hail Prince Legolas." One of the guards speaks to him in Sindarin. "We have been expecting you and your guests."

"You may tell my father that we have arrived. I shall see him once my partners are settled." Legolas looks to the guard who nods grabbing a horn from his belt. Legolas reaches up and covers my ears just as he blows it, muffling the sound for me. This man.. kinda making me think marriage ain't so bad. The other guard opens the gate for us with a bow.

Legolas urges his horse forward, the ram following along dutifully. The horse and the ram have gotten a long beautifully. I of course got to name them because my boyfriends love me so much. I named them after city's in my favorite game. Ironforge the Ram and Stormwind the horse, Legolas tells me that they like the names. I thought it was fitting considering the city's racial mounts.

Some elves guide us to a stable and I whistle out with appreciation. Seeing everything made of natural trees. They must have used the Bonsai method to create such things. Like in my world there were people that would make bridges over a long period by growing trees and weaving them together to make bridges. "I can feel the entire castle.. it's all made of plants!" I giggle with glee, shaking my hands at my sides.

"A druid during my grandfathers reign grew the castle from a single seed. Every year it grows grander and grander, but I fear it has gotten weak since the spiders pushed us out." Legolas sighs softly, sliding off the horse. Reaching up he lifts me off which makes me blush. Kili jumps off of Ironforge with a thud, quickly tying the ram up.

"Follow me, I shall show you to my room." Legolas smiles to the both of us, taking my hand. Kili takes the other happily, Chestnut snorts out the scent of Poppy's which indicates he's annoyed. Elves walk towards him and look unsure of how to grab the things held inside of the hollow horse. The horse gives them the stink eye, urging them to try and take my stuff. He'll kick em in the nuts if they try to take my things without my permission.

"Chestnut, Let the kind elves take our stuff okay?" Chestnut rolls his eyes and snorts out the scent of Lavender at my face, which means yes. "Thank you." Chestnut's chest opens reluctantly and the elves grab our things swiftly. Not wanting to earn the ire of the sentient plant. "Awe man.. we have to climb?" I stare up at the ladder with distain. "I fucking hate heights.. ladders are worse then stairs!"

"It will be okay my love. I won't let you fall, I'll be below you." Legolas rubs my hand comfortingly.

I sigh deeply while staring at the ladder with a look of disgust. "Nah, fuck that noise." With a thought a branch from above reaches down, I sit down into it. It wraps around me securely before raising me in the air like a ski lift. "Weee!!!" I giggle out at the elves around us stare in confusion and awe. Legolas and Kili chuckle to themselves, Legolas shakes his head and swiftly climbs the ladder.

Legolas leads us through the winding wooden halls and over many bridges, to a beautiful room that looks newly refurbished. I nearly moan when I see it, the plants and everything natural!! THE FLOOR IS EVEN GRASSSS!!! How dis they do grass up here?? "Make yourselves at home, I shall be back. I must talk with my father." He smiles to me, kissing me on the cheek. He gives Kili a nod before leaving quickly.

I sit on the bed and huff out, putting a hand on my belly. "Is the wee pebble moving yet?" Kili asks with a smile, sitting down beside me he rests his hand on top of mine.

"Not yet. And I am not excited when it does." I groan with a frown, I lay back and close my eyes. Sensing the palace around me, seeing the different rooms.. when I get to the roots I notice they're looking damaged. Most likely from the darkness, that's an easy fix. Just gotta snip off the dead roots and mend the rest... I just can't leave a plant like this! It's a sin!

Concentrating with a calming exhale, my green magic reaches out of my body like spectral hands. Massaging the roots and untangling them from each other, slicing off the damaged ones and pulling them away so they won't infect the rest of the roots. I pour my green energy into the plant, focusing on returning it to life. "Love?" Hearing Legolas talk in my mind I pull my spectral hands back and return the green magic into myself. My eyes open and I take a deep breath.

"Hm?" I look to Legolas and see he looks concerned.

"You haven't been answering us, I nearly brought you to the healing wing!" I look to Kili and see he looks frazzled.

"Oh shit. Sorry, I was meditating, I was helping the castles roots." I sit up with a grunt, my back popping slightly making me sigh in relief. "The roots are all better now, they had rotting and an infection because of the spiders rot. But I mended it." I smile at myself having scratched the itch of my OCD.

"You have been working on training your powers?" Thranduril strides into the room, having been behind a running Legolas after he heard Kili.

"Yup! I can control plants from anywhere within a radius, I don't even need to see them anymore! I can move things with a simple mind command." I smile happily, a branch moves down and pokes him to prove a point. He jolts with wide eyes.

"Incredible.." Thranduril smiles ever so slightly. "I can already tell the castle feels better.." He sets his hand on a wall, stroking it slightly.

"I'm glad! I love plants, they're like my babies. I can't leave a plant if it's unhealthy." I say with a nervous giggle.

"Darling, why don't you rest. We will be having dinner tonight with father then tomorrow is the feast of Starlight." Legolas smiles to me with excitement.

-  Dinner  -

Walking into the room dressed in a dwarven dress Kili bought me, both men at my sides. The guards at the door open it for us, letting us walk in. Thranduril looks up from his seat and smiles. "I am glad you have come."

"I'm here for more yummy elf food! Heheheh." I rub my hands together and cackle slightly, Kili laughs at me.

"And you shall have it Shining Star, I have had the chef make your favorites." He smiles at me, enjoying being in my company.

"Really? You didn't have to go through all that trouble Thranduril." I say nervously, sitting next to Thranduril and Kili while Legolas sits on the opposite side next to his father.

"It is no trouble." The door opens and elves walk out holding trays of food on them. Setting down the trays on the table before bowing and taking their leave. Legolas stands up and cuts me a portion of the food, sliding it onto my plate that he grabbed. I give him a glare and he simply smirks at me.

I force a branch to smack him on the ass, his eyes widen and he yelps. "Serves you right!" Kili laughs with a shake of his head. "You know how independent she is!"

"I cannot help it.." Legolas whines with a pout.

"Why do you not like my son getting you things?" Thranduril looks to me with a raised brow.

"Because I have two legs and two hands, I can get it myself." I shake my head in disbelief. "Y'all seem to forget that I was a human commoner. I don't need people to do things for me, if worse comes to worse." A branch lowers from the ceiling and pours me a glass of water. Setting it down in front of me. "I got plants." I gesture with a smug smirk. I grab my plate and slice into vegan meat. Happy that they have flourished with it.

"I wished to speak with you." Thranduril looks to his son and Kili.

"About..?" Legolas squints at his father.

"He wants to join the relationship, but I told him the council needs to decide." I explain before plopping the meat chunks in my mouth with a hum.

"Do you care for the king?" Kili asks me nervously.

"The king? No." This makes Thranduril grimace, as if I've shattered his heart. "Thranduril the normal elf? Yes." I shrug with indifference. "I'm open to one more, but I want both of you to have a say."

"I.. I admit I do not feel comfortable with it." Legolas grimaces. "Thinking of my father laying with you.. with me there?" He shivers in disgust not wanting to watch his father fuck his soon to be wife.

"You don't have to join in if your dad's involved." Kili points out and Legolas still frowns.

"This is why we discuss." I say with a nod, happily eating some mashed potatoes.

"I have grown to love her my son.." Thranduril explains with a hurt expression. "I cannot turn off these feelings.. I have not felt them since your mother passed into Valinor."

"I.. I understand.." He grimaces. "But when will you be able to spend time with her? You refuse to leave Greenwood unless it is diplomatic!" Legolas gestures to his father before continuing to eat.

"She may move here if she wishes, or I will make trips to visit her." Thranduril says with a pointed look to his son.

"Do you wish to move here?" Legolas looks to me while I'm just silently chewing.

"Not really, no." I shake my head and he looks at his father as if to say 'I told you so'. "But I can make trips on occasion."

"Father, we plan to marry. She cannot be married to the prince and the king." Thranduril grits his teeth at his sons words.

"Then I shall give up the crown to you." He grits out, glaring at his son. Legolas stares at him in disbelief. "All I crave is her!"

I sigh loudly gaining everyone's attention. "I have had a brain blast." I rest my hands on the table, looking to them all. "If you two agree. I shall visit on the weekends, giving Thranduril all my time. Then return home and give you two all my time during the week."

"Why? Why should I have to share you with him?" Legolas barks out with a scowl.

"Do you not want this Legolas?" I ask him kindly.

"No, I do not." He crosses his arms, glaring at his father.

"Then it's settled." I say softly, Thranduril looks as if I just killed a puppy.

"Why must you be selfish?" He whispers to Legolas.

"She is going to be my wife. I will not have you steal her from me. This is the only thing I care about, I will not lose her to you or this kingdom that has already stolen so many of my years for it's service." Legolas stands up with a scowl, tossing down his napkin. "I still plan to rule, but for now. I take time as my own, to start my family. Dinner is over. We leave after the festival."

I sigh loudly and stand up, Thranduril looks at me with heartbreak in his eyes. Kili wraps an arm around me just as Thranduril reaches for my hand. He misses and he exhales shakily, Legolas meets me on the other side of the table. Wrapping his arm around me we quickly leave the room.

"Well, that was spicier then a k-drama." I mumble to myself making both men look at me in confusion. "It's nothin." I wave it off and they nod.

"Let us retire, tomorrow I shall help you with your sword fighting the elven way. Kili will help with the dwarven way, then you may meditate before the festival." Legolas says to me with a sigh. "We leave the moment it is finished."

"Okay, I understand Legolas.. I'm sorry if this made you uncomfortable." I rub my hand over his, he looks at me with love.

"It's alright my love.. I just.. why my father?"

"Well ah.. it all started in my world, the play of the Hobbit movies was when I was first introduced to him.. and lord have mercy, they casted him amazingly... I read stories fans of the play wrote and fell even more in love with the character.. When I came here and met him, it was a pleasant surprise... I kinda grew feeling for him and you." I explain with a grimace and he nods his head.

"Please don't tell me you find Thorin attractive..?" Kili pleads with me.

"I have eyes, Kili." I roll my eyes and he groans in despair. "But, he's not my type. He's more of a brother.." Kili sighs loudly in relief, resting a hand on his chest.

"Who.. who else do you find attractive..?" Legolas asks me just as we enter his room

"Buckle up, I have a list!" I cackle with glee. "Aragorn when he's grown, Dwalin has some beefy charm, Haldir is low-key hot, Glorfindel, Elrond-"

"Elrond?!" Legolas says with wide eyes and I cackle.

"Yes! I have a thing for elves! Shit, I even found Smaug attractive in fanfiction- don't give me that look!" I point to Kili, he looks like he just ate something foul.

"The dragon..? The dragon that tried to burn you alive?" Kili says with wide eyes, I nod with a shrug.

"Shit, even Morgoth could get it." Their eyes widen in horror. "Again, this is FAN." I clap my hands loudly. "FICTION!" I clap my hands again. "It's based off of CHARACTERS. The author alters them and to fit the story line and makes them appealing... But you would be surprised about some of the women in my world... Some find the idea of being held captive until they submit attractive." I shiver in disgust. "Chains and whips may excite me but not that much." I mumble to myself and the boys look confused. I sigh and begin to explain the reference I just made.

- Next Day -

Walking through the halls with a hum, on my way to the training grounds. I'm startled when I'm pulled into a room with a squeak. "Calm down my Shining Star, it is just me.." Thranduril whispers huskily to me, holding me against his body.

"Thranduril?? Wha-"

"I ask for a kiss.." he looks at me with yearning in his eyes. "To tide me over until I may get my son to see reason.. please?" He begs me needily.

I stare up at him with wide eyes. "Just a kiss..?" He nods his head, I sigh loudly running my fingers through my hair. "One kiss-" just as I finish the sentence he's on me, pressing his lips against mine with a growl. My eyes widen and I gasp, he slips his tongue into my mouth and begins to battle mine. He stares at me with a lidded gaze as he slurps and sucks on my tongue, exploring my mouth and claiming it as his own.

I moan softly, melting in his hold. I shouldn't have agreed to This. French kissing makes me fucking horny. God damnit. Thranduril wraps his arms around me, pressing his groin against my thigh. Allowing me to feel how hard he is, my eyes widen in shock. He sucks on my tongue one last time before pulling away with an exhale, a strand of saliva connecting us. "Thank you.. Shining Star." He nuzzles his head into my neck, giving it a delicate kiss before exhaling shakily and pulling away. He quickly leaves the room with hastened steps, rushing to his chambers to get rid of his erection.

I stand there and blink for a moment, trying to process what just happened. "Well now I'm fucking horny.. God damnit." I scowl in displeasure, deciding to beat the shit outta my boyfriend's with swords to work off my anger.

-  Next Evening  -

"No." I glare at Legolas, holding up a snug elven dress in his hands. Kili sitting behind him looking at it hungrily, wanting to see me in it. Dwarf dresses have nothing on the appeal of elf dresses. They leave nothing to the imagination, and both men are hungry to see me in it.

"You will look ravishing in it Rosebud." Legolas says with dark eyes, Kili nods eagerly behind him. Wanting to rip it off my body when the party is done.

"No way, I'll make my own thank you. I don't need no people seeing every fold and crease of my body." I scowl even more. "Just because I got elf ears, doesn't mean I have an elf body." I scoff, pissed off at the Valar or whoever made me an elf. I still look like my original self just with pointy fucking ears. I got robbed!

Legolas sighs softly and nods in understanding, not wanting to make me uncomfortable. "Alright my love, I shall respect your decision... Could you perhaps wear it when we're alone..?" He asks me nervously, his ear tips a light pink from his blush.

I sigh softly and roll my eyes. "Fine. You can put it in a suitcase and I'll wear it when we're home." Legolas beams with happiness, Kili pumps his hands as if to say 'Yes!'.

I shake my head at them in fondness, holding out a hand. A flower forms from the branch, transforming and growing larger it wraps around me until I have a long gown that touches the floor. Made of white flower petals. My shoulders bare, the straps the stem of the flower that wraps around my waist and creates a belt. Small branches raise up and create intricate designs, acting like a corset. I grow a pair of Birch branch shoes for this dress, making the insoles fluffy milkweed buds that won't break.

I look to my boyfriend's who stare at me with jaws dropped. "Get dressed!" I wave them on with a laugh, Legolas clears his throat. Walking over to his dresser, he pulls out a white elven robe. Kili gets dressed in white dwarvish garments, aka a lot of fur.

Legolas puts on his crown, same with Kili. The both looking completely different from each other's. Legolas' is dainty and delicate while Kili's is thick and strong like stone. Holding a gem inside of it. The gems indicate his status as second prince to the throne of Erebor.

-  Feast of Starlight  -

Walking into the party area, we're announced by an elf. Legolas covers my ears before he speaks, I give him a smile on thanks. I can see Thranduril across the room looking at me like I'm a mouse and he's Scar. He's hungry to kiss me again.. he's hungry to do more then kiss me. Taking care of his problem did nothing to alleviate the lust he holds for me.

"Come love, why don't you try some elvish wine?" Legolas offers me with a smile, leading me over to the beverage table. Kili close behind, eager to get to the booze after the chaos of yesterdays dinner.

"I'll take a sip of yours, I don't want to waste it." He nods his head in understanding, collecting a glass from a servant. A male elf walks up to me and holds out a tray for me, covered in glasses.

"Uh..?" I squint in confusion.

"It is Apple Cider Lady Ellen, the king requested it specifically for you." The elf says with a smile and my eyes widen. I take a glass and he bows his head, taking his leave. Legolas scowls at his father who smirks into a glass of wine.

"Here love, try some." He holds a glass to me and I take it. Gently tipping it back I take a sip and my mouth puckers up. I wave at my face in urgency needing this foul liquid out of my mouth yesterday! Legolas comes to the rescue and crouches, pulls me into a kiss which makes me confused. Urging my mouth open with his tongue I spit the wine into his mouth, which he eagerly drinks. All while glaring at his father who breaks a wine glass.

Legolas gives my tongue a suck before pulling away. I stare at him for a moment and blink. "That.. was ah.." I look away with a blush on my face, he smirks at me.

"Did you enjoy it?" He asks me with a smug smirk.

"The wine? Fuck no. The kiss? Yes.. ah.. thank you, I didn't want to spit it on the nice floor, I know wine stains." I mumble softly in embarrassment, seeing several female elves blush.

"It's alright my darling, you made the wine taste sweeter.. I just may make you my new wine glass in future." He purrs to me and I blush, stroking my face with a grin. Kili smirks at us while sipping some wine himself.

People begin to move onto the dancefloor and Kili looks to me with excitement. "Let's dance!"

"Nuh uh, I don't dance." I scowl at Kili with a bland look, he pouts at me. "Your puppy dog face ain't working." I take a sip of the apple cider, finding it very pleasant. Thankfully there's no alcohol that I can taste, I've never been drunk before. Plus with the baby and all..

"Come on love, one dance?" Legolas wraps his arms around my waist.

"I don't know any of the dances from your world! I only know some from mine!" I huff out to him, sipping on my drink. "If you wanted to Cha Cha Slide or Mamushi I could do that, otherwise no."

"Trust me, my love." Legolas puts his finger under my chin and raises it up, smiling to me.

"You still haven't let me do my kink yet." I glare to him and he begins to sweat.

"You can do what you want to me if you dance with us!" Kili says with a grin to me. I turn and give him the stink eye.

"Fine. You fucking dwarf." I grumble to him with a scowl, he cheers. Legolas takes my glass.

"I'm next my love!" He calls out with a grin as Kili leads me to the dance floor

"Let me lead alright love?" He smiles and I sigh.

"Thank Mahal that you're wearing steel toes boots Kili. I'm gonna be stomping on your toes." Kili laughs softly, holding my hands in his own. We begin to move around the dancefloor, mimicking the elves who gracefully glide around.

"It's giving Labyrinth vibes.." I comment to myself, Kili holds me close to his body. Partners change and all of a sudden I'm with a random man who smiles at me warmly. Kili looks confused to Legolas who looks equally confused. I DIDNT SIGN UP FOR THIS!!

The elf spins me around smoothly then I'm in the arms of another elf. "I trust you are enjoying the festival?" I look up and see it's Thranduril who smirks at me.

"It's fun I guess. I'm an introvert at heart however." I say nervously, his hand rests just above my ass. We twirl around and I see Legolas with a scowl on his face. Kili by his side looking confused. "I should get going-"

"Stay, finish the dance." Thranduril purrs out to me, pulling me snug against his body. I can feel his toned muscles and I mentally groan.

"Uh.. yeah no. I can see that Legolas doesn't feel comfortable with this." I slide away from him easily using Nori's dodging training he gave me alongside Dwalin. One final kiss in private is different then this. I don't want to make Leggy uncomfortable.

I walk along the edge of the dance floor, quickly finding Kili and Legolas. "How dare he.." Legolas growls.

"What just happened? I thought it was a couples dance?" I look to him in confusion.

"It was, he changed it during the dance.. We should get going." Legolas wraps his arm around me, leading me out of the room. Kili grabs my glass and sets it on a table to be disposed of.

"Yeah, let's get home." I say with a nod, not seeing Thranduril clenching his fist in rage.

Chapter Text

Written: November 11th, 2024

- Home -

Finally back home from the Feast, I jump off of Ironforge with Kili's help. Vines reach out and lead the animals to the paddock so they may relax, the vines removing their saddles and the like. Chestnut steps up to the house with a snort, Legolas grabs some bags from him and begins to bring them inside. Kili grabbing the rest before I could even try to grab them. I roll my eyes fondly at my boyfriends and follow them inside. Chestnut wanders to the paddock and proceeds to guard the animals. "Im exhausted." Kili sighs loudly, rubbing his sleepy eyes.

"Indeed." Legolas agrees walking up the stairs while he removes his armor.

"I need a snuggle." I comment and Kili smiles at me, following me upstairs while stripping as well.

After showering and cleaning ourselves, we all lay down in the huge bed. Snuggling up together with one another, I snuggle into Kili with a smile while Legolas holds onto me. All of us nude and laying comfortably, Legolas kisses me on the neck gently while rubbing his hands up and down my body. "Goodnight my love." He whispers.

"Goodnight loves, see ya in the morning." I kiss both of them goodnight before exhaling happily and drifting off to sleep.

The moment my brain enters REM something odd happens.

- ??? -

Opening my eyes I look around in confusion, seeing an endless landscape of stone then a blank void of black. A slight foggy mist fills the air. What the shit? This is a weird dream... I walk around for a bit while looking around. Not the first dream I had of a black void..

"She's awake, good." A deep male voice speaks out above me, making me jolt from its suddenness.

"What the shit-" I look around frantically for the source, seeing my compass bracelet on my wrist my brows furrow in confusion. I look down at my body and notice I'm wearing the exact same outfit I died in.. reaching up I touch my head and feel a gaping hole where my skull caved in.. and a soft squishy thing that I'm poking. Holy fuck nuts batman. A horror dream!

"You're scaring her." A kind woman's voice says in a chastising tone, I look up once more in alarm. Why am I in my dead body? Why am I dreaming of this now?? It couldn't have been the Lembas I ate on the ride home could it?

"Bah! The wee one can take it! She's playing with her own brain for Eru's sakes!" A huge fucking hand appears out of the mists, my eyes widen and I book it. Not wanting to be caught by the fucking master hand. "Quit runnin!" The deep voice says, grabbing me by my waist and holding me in the air.

"Put me down!! You fucker!!" I punch at the fingers holding me in the air, earning a laugh from whoever's holding me. I grab my knife and stab at him only for my knife to break, my eyes widen. The laughing gets even louder.

"Husband, be kind to my champion." A woman's voice says with a sigh. "You're upsetting her."

"Sorry dear..." The voice says with love to the woman who just talked. Placing me down onto a huge hand, flat in his palm I trip and fall on my ass with a grunt.

"What in the up fuck is going on?!?" I say with a growl. This dream is too fucking weird, am I lucid dreaming?

A woman's face appears from the mist, kind with bright red hair interwoven with flowers. Beautiful branches grown from her hair, similar to Thranduril's crown. "Apologies Ellen... I know this must be scaring you." She smiles to me warmly, I scoot back on the hand looking at this giant wearily. "I am Yavanna." She bows her head in greeting. "You are in my husband's hand, Aüle."

"Holy fuck.. you're the Valar.." My eyes widen and I stare at her.

"She finally gets it!" A laugh comes out and another man's face leans in. Covered in runes all over his face.

"Is this real..? Or am I making this up?"

"This is real child, you are truly here connected with us." Yavanna smiles to me, holding her hands to her heart. She leans against her husband.

"Let us introduce ourselves properly" The fog disappears completely and I can see everyone clearly.. and my wig is SNATCHED. "I am Manwë, King of the Winds and Valar.. this is my wife Varda." An elvish man that could give Thranduril a run for his money smiles to me warmly. His ears the longest I've seen on a Tolkien elf, his hair looking like it's floating through a nice calm breeze. I look to who he's pointing at and see a woman garbed in a dress made of a galaxy. Endless Stars glitter and glow on her dress.

"Im Tulkas, at your service!" A man bows his head to me with a smirk. Glowing runes all over his face and chest from what I can see.. he's very muscular. "Champion of tha Valar!"

"This is Ulmo, king of the Sea's." Manwë gestures to a man wearing a King Trident esque crown, water flowering down his body.. as if his clothes were made of water. "Aüle is the one holding you, or Mahal since you are friends with the sons of Durin." I turn around and see a muscular dwarf man with pointed ears. A beautiful long braided beard drapes down his chest, his hands one that would indicate he's a hard worker.

"Oromë the Lord of Forests, and his wife Vána." An elf garbed in leather clothes that are similar to Striders bows his head to me. I see a young blonde elf on his arm with a smile. "Nienna, Vairë, Nessa and Mando's are busy with their duty's... they send their greetings." Manwë says with a nod.

"Uh.. charmed...?" I bow my head to them in greeting, freaking the fuck out internally.

"You are so creative!" An golden haired elf woman leans forward with a beaming smile. Wearing a silken white dress, looking like a Victorian nurse. "How you healed those amputees was incredible!!" She squeals loudly, bouncing up and down... I simply stare at her bouncing bosom in complete awe.

"That is Estë, the lady of healing. Her husband Irmo is the one who is allowing us to communicate with you tonight. He rules over dreams, he is busy keeping the connection open so he is unable to greet you properly. But he sends his most kindest regards." Manwë explains and I just stare at all of them.

"Okay........" This is the perfect fucking opportunity. I've been meaning to try to learn a way how to get a hold of the Valar or Eru. Maybe I can make a deal of some sort to get Gandalf his promotion he needs to whoop Saruman's ass. I'll get on my damn knees and beg if I have to. I clear my throat nervously before I speak. "Well while I've got y'all here, can you give Gandalf a promotion?" I stand up on Mahal's hand shakily, unused to walking on flesh. It's like walking on a mattress. Manwë's brows furrow in confusion, not understanding why I would ask that.

"We understand that you hail from a world that allows you to see this ones future?" Vána leans forward with a smile on her face, raising a brow with her question.

"Uh, yeah I do.. I knew what was gonna happen at Erebor and I know all the way up to Saurons downfall.." I clear my throat loudly. "In the story, Gandalf dies to the Balrog held within the mines of Moria.. but he's brought back as Gandalf the White..." I look to her nervously, biting my lip. "I refuse to let my friend die when I can save him, I'm gonna kill the fucking thing." I say with determination in my gaze. "But Gandalf needs his promotion to help with Saruman."

"Hah!" Mahal laughs, moving his hand accidentally. I jostle around and fall down on my ass. Thank fuck it's soft at least.. or my tailbone would be crying for mercy. "I like this wee one! She's got some proper balls on her!" He giggles again, Yavanna rolls her eyes fondly at her husband.

"What is the issue with the white Istari?" Ulmo ask with a furrowed brow, leaning forward in his seat. "Why must Gandalf help with him?"

I stand back up with a huff, straightening out my bloodstained clothes. "Saruman's gone to the dark side." All of the Valar look confused at the statement. "He's has joined up with Sauron." I explain to them and see their eyes widen slightly finally understanding what I meant. "He doesn't care about Arda, he craves power above all, not peace!"

"That no good-" Tulkas walks away from the table, I can hear him cursing in the background.

Manwë steps forward leaning down on the table to get closer to Mahal's hand. Looking at me closely with calculating eyes. "Are you certain of this child? This is quite the accusation."

"Yes, I am very certain. It's a major plot point in the story. He's the reason the fellowship were being hunted by Orcs. Saruman was in charge of getting the ring for his master after his Wraiths failed miserably. He created a whole new group of Orc hybrids called Uruk-Hai. They're able to walk in sunlight because they're mixed with DNA of humans."

"Hmh.." Manwë scowls at the table, clenching his fists. "I shall go attempt to seek out our father and speak to him about this.. He must know what his White Istari will do." Manwë nods to me before walking away from the table, disappearing into the black void.

After a moment of awkward silence I speak up. "So ah...." I look to all of them in confusion. "Why exactly am I here? In Middle Earth I mean..?" I look to the other Valar, biting my cheek.

Yavanna looks down to me with a sad smile. "You were sent here by a being even higher then Eru.. we are unsure of what it is. But you were given to us, to be our hand in the world of Arda. To right what has been wronged by Melkor (also known as Morgoth) and correct our... mistakes." Yavanna grimaces with a frown. "That is why I have given you complete power over plants, Estë joined in and gave you the ability to heal corruption from those who have been infected by Melkor."

"Uhm.. so what is my job exactly? The fellowship destroys the ring even without me being here." I shrug with a look of confusion.

"You are assure the destruction of the ring.. You shall help finish off Sauron once and for all. Your duty is to purify Arda of the dark corruption of Melkor, by any means." Mahal growls out and I grimace slightly. That's gonna be difficult.. and time consuming.. and I'm not even getting anything out of it!

"May I ah.. ask for something?" Mahal looks at me with a raised brow. "Since I'll be doing all the work and all, I feel as though I deserve payment?" I cross my arms with a scowl looking at the gods. "I already killed the dragon Smaug and killed two army's of Orcs and Goblins! And I haven't been paid for my services!" I scowl, huffing at them with a shake of my head in disbelief.

"What is it you ask for?" Vána leans forward with a smile, having an idea of what I want.

"Kili, I want to make sure he won't die until.." I take a deep breath my heart shattering at the thought of it. "I want to be with him in the Undying Lands, I want him to live by my side forever. I love him so much.. I can't lose him." I look up to Vána with tears in my eyes.

"You want him to be an elf." Vána smiles to me with giddiness, clapping her hands with glee.

"Or at the very least have the lifespan and Fèa of an elf." I say nervously, knowing he may feel body dysmorphia if his whole body is suddenly a full blown elf. "I don't know what I will do if I lose him.. I love him so much already." I wipe the tears that continue to fall.

Yavanna smiles to me warmly, a tiny fruit grows in her hands. She holds it down to me and I take the basket ball sized fruit, it shrinks to the size of a grape. "For you my champion... Have your love eat this, it shall transform his soul into Fèa, so he may never leave your side until you return to Mando's halls."

"T-Thank you.." I bow to her, wiping the tears from my eyes. She leans down and kisses me gently making me blush, her lips the size of my entire body. Uh- new kink unlocked.

"You will do great work, Ellen Paige." Manwë walks back into the room. "Gandalf shall rise as the white. He has been notified that he shall venture to slay the Balrog with you."

"I uh.. okay." I nod my head, holding the grape in my hands.

"Young Kili will be welcome in my eternal mines when he reaches Valinor." Mahal says to me with a smile. "He will see his family should he wish it lass."

"Oh uh- Thorin, Fili, Kili, Bofur, Bifur, Bombur, Dori, Nori, Ori, Oin, Gloin, Dwalin and Balin say hi!" I say and he laughs.

"Tell them I say hello too lass." He smirks to me, looking to his wife who chuckles in amusement.

"Bilbo says hi to you Miss Yavanna." I bow to her and she smiles.

"Tell him hello when you see him dear." I nod with a smile.

"Thranduril and Legolas say hi to you Mr. Manwë and Varda." They both laugh and nod to me with smiles.

"Awaken." Irmo's voice resonates through my skull and I grimace, holding onto it everything around me begins to shake and lose focus.

- Home -

Gasping loudly I sit up with wide eyes, looking around I see that I'm home. Legolas who sleeps with his eyes wide open wakes up when he hears me gasp. "Love? What is wrong?" He wipes the sleep from his eyes. I look to my hands.. and see a small fruit in my palm. Holy shit that was real.

"I ah.. just got a visit from the Valar.." I explain and he looks at me with wide eyes, having woken up completely when I said that.

"What?!" Legolas bellows out in shock.

"Whazzamatter-" Kili sits up with sleep still clinging to him looking around ready to fight. Grabbing his knife he keeps hidden under his pillow.

Looking down into my hands I see the fruit, glowing softly. "Kii, I want you to eat this." I hand him the fruit and he looks at it. "Ill explain before you eat it though."

He looks around and doesn't see any danger so he puts his knife away. He looks at the glowing fruit in his palm with confusion. "Whazzit?" He asks while rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Its my payment for doing doing the task I was sent here for... it will make you immortal, transform your soul and give you fea like an elf." I smile to him with excitement and his eyes widen. "You'll stay with me in the Undying Lands... You wont die unless its in battle."

"What? Truly?" He looks at the glowing fruit then back to me.

"Yes, Yavanna gave it to me herself after I asked for it." Kili stares at it before looking to me, then back to the fruit before he tosses it into his mouth and begins to chew. He swallows and his brows scrunch up.

"I don-" Kili's eyes widen and he shivers as if his whole body's been dunked in cold water, his ears begin to form at a point... And that's it. nothing else changes, just like I asked for. But I can sense some sort of wispiness in his chest, like I do with all other elves.

"I sense fea!" Legolas says with wide eyes filled with shock.

Kili touches his ears and looks to Legolas. "Why are they pointy??"

"I told her to make you like an elf, I knew you would feel weird in an elves body when you've been a dwarf your entire life.. I think this is a compromise, you keep your original features but have elf ears to indicate your immortality." I say with a smile to the both of them.

"Fii is gonna pick on me.." Kili whines softly, leaning to bury his head into my boobs. I snort out a laugh, shaking my head.

Legolas sighs with fondness. "I'll get breakfast started." He hops out of bed and slides on a loose pair of pants.

Chapter Text

Written: November 11th, 2024

- Few Days Later -
- Annual Kingdom Meeting -

Hearing a knock at the door, I open it with a thought. "Come on in guys!" Balin, Dwalin and Thorin step inside the home with smiles on their faces. Liking the warm homey feeling, being able to drop the faces they must put on in order to rule.

"Hello lass!" Balin smiles to me, giving me a warm hug in greeting.

"Hello Balin, it's so good to see you again. Working you ragged has he?" I comment with a smirk and he nods with a grin.

"Where's Kili?" Thorin looks around in confusion, not seeing his sister's son.

"Upstairs folding laundry." I lie through my teeth with a smile, mentally grimacing at myself. Kili is waiting for the signal to come down and reveal his ears. "I've been working on a design for a machine! It's from my world." I change the subject easily with the topic of my hobby.

"Due tell lass?" Dwalin asks me as he leans against the wall, the hammer I gifted him on his back. Curious about what invention ive made.

"It's a washer and dryer machines. They clean and dry your clothes for you! All plant powered for now sadly, since y'all haven't invented electricity and engines.." I sigh wishing I had a proper stove.. I miss the one my grandma had.. you could cremate a fuckin body in that thing when its on self clean. She'd had it for over 50+ years and it never gave out ONCE. A knock comes to the door and Thranduril stands in the doorway. Letting himself in, Tauriel right behind him. "Hey Thranduril!" I smile to him and he smiles back warmly.

"Love! Your treats are done!" Legolas calls out to me from the kitchen.

"Oop! Just a sec!" I rush out of the room and into the kitchen, coming back with a tray of fresh chocolate chip muffins. Yes you heard right CHOCOLATE!!! "This, took me fucking AGES to make. But I present to you the majesty that is... Milk Chocolate." I hand everyone a small nugget of chocolate with a grin, Dwalin sniffs it before tossing it into his mouth.

"Bitter." He comments while chewing on it. "Oddly enough a good bitter." He says in confusion, letting the chocolate melt in his mouth.

"It melts in my tongue." Thranduril comments while looking at me, eyes filled with awe.

"Tis delicious Ellen! What are these muffins?" Balin asks me with a smile, having become sort of a grandfather figure.

"Its my favorite food ever.. chocolate chip muffins, with nutmeg and cinnamon. Spices y'all don't have here. I'll give you some in jars to experiment with!" I smile and they each nod taking a muffin to try it.

Thorin groans deeply at the flavor. "Give Bombur the recipe. These are delicious!" He pleads for me and I sigh in relief, it worked. Kili walks down the stairs after I poked him with a branch. He walks into he dining room nervously and Thorin looks to him and freezes. "Kili.." Thorin sits at the table staring at his nephew. Thranduril sits at the table staring at the dwarf in confusion, eyes locked onto his now pointed ears.. and sensing the fea within his body.

"Y-Yes uncle..?" Kili begins to sweat nervously, his newly elf ears twitching.

"Why are your ears pointed?" He raises a brow to him, putting his muffin down on the plate.

"I ah.." Kili looks to me pleadingly. "Help..?" I sigh loudly.

"I asked for an advance on my payment from the Valar." I explain with a shrug, sitting down at the table. "They transformed Kili's soul into the Fea of an elf, so he'll be with me always." Thorin's eyes widen, Thranduril chokes on his own breath. Hearing that I've met with the Valar and spoken with them.

"How will he see his family within Mahal's mines before he is returned to the stones? To rebuild all of Ea (universe) when Eru's song ends?" Thorin asks me with urgency, Thranduril stares at the dwarf in confusion. Wondering what kind of fucking religion they have.

"Mahal has told me himself that Kili is more then welcome to visit his loved ones. I asked because I wanted to make sure he could see you." I smile with a small giggle and Thorin exhales in relief, his shoulders sagging and losing tension.

"But.. Kili will not return to the stones to remake Ea when the new song starts?" He looks to me in confusion and I shake my head.

"No he will be joining the elves I suspect, or he could choose. I'm unsure. We'll have to wait a long ass time to see." Shrugging my shoulders, sighing softly with relief.

"M-Mahal knows who I am..?' Kili croaks out in nervousness.

"Oh yeah, and the entire Company. I made sure to say hi from everyone. I even said hi to Yavanna from Bilbo.. And hi to Manwë and his wife from Thran and Legolas." Thorin and Dwalin's jaws drop. "Mahal says hello by the way." I smile at them happily. Dwalin has to sit down on a stool or else he'd faint.

"What did you speak with the Valar about?" Thranduril asks me with urgency, praying they don't aim to return me to my world.

"Eh, nothing much. Just trying to get Gandalf a promotion." I say with a nod, everyone looks at me in confusion. "He dies in the story because of the Balrog in Moria. I'm gonna kill it, so I asked for him to get the promotion. Manwë worked it out."

"Ah.. I see.." Thranduril looks down with a squint.

"What about the pebbles?" Kili says to me with a look of worry. Not wanting me to go to Moria at all but he won't stop me. He knows I'll be able to handle myself against the orcs.. it's the Balrog he has trouble with.. but he has faith in me... He's worried if I go while pregnant something will happen and they'll lose the children from the stress of the situation.

"I'm not gonna storm Moria now, I need to wait until the kids are born and done nursing. Then I'll be there in back before you could say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!" I beam happily.

"Super Cali... Wha...?" Kili mumbles in confusion, Legolas walks in from the kitchen. Drying his hands off.

"See? No time at all!" I snort out a laugh, Legolas sits down beside me.

"Alright enough of the pleasantries, let us get to work!" Thorin says with a laugh. "Let us work on your wedding, what do you wish for it."

"Eh, you choose. I don't care bout anything." I shrug with indifference.

"Truly?" Thranduril says in confusion.

"If I had it my way we'd be married in a courthouse... But it's a royal wedding so I gotta do all this junk." I pout while crossing my arms with a huff.

"Well, tell us about the customs of your worlds weddings." Balin asks me with a smile, wanting to add different portions of all of their cultures weddings.

"Shit ah.. Weddings are different around the globe in my world. I'm only familiar with Christian's religion of weddings.. I've attended two as a bridesmaid."

"Brides maid?" Balin writes it down using a quill looking to me for clarification.

"They ah, they're the brides friends and family. The Maid of Honor helps the bride with behind the scenes wedding stuff... I don't need that though." Balin nods and continues to write. "Uh..." I tap my lip in thought.

"How does the ceremony go?" Thranduril asks me with a tilt of his head.

"There's a Christian priest standing in the middle where the Groom and the groomsmen wait. The song here comes the bride begins to play and the bride walks down the isle. Escorted by her father." Balin nods with a hum, his quill moving like the wind.  Damn he must be great at his job.. "The priest usually starts with some long ass speech about God and shit... I was atheist so I didn't pay attention."

"Atheist?" Dwalin asks in confusion.

"It means I didn't believe that there was a god or heaven and hell.. my personal belief was that there was an endless void of nothingness when you die." I shrug my shoulders. "No way to tell what the afterlife is." Dwalin nods with a hum. "Anyways, the priest is usually asks the people if there's anybody who objects to the union. And if not he says 'Do you Grooms name take Brides name to be your lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold, through sickness and in health, so long as you shall live? They say I do. For the bride just reverse the names."

"Your culture is fascinating." Thranduril comments after delicately chewing a bite of his muffin.

"Not really. My culture is Cowboys, iced tea, Cheeseburgers and 'Murica! Land of the free home of the brave!" I hold a fist up. Everything in my culture is fuckin stolen from another. "I'll explain my whole worlds politics if you're genuinely curious another time." Balin and Thranduril eagerly nod their heads.

"About the wedding dress?" Balin asks me after he finishes writing.

"I believe half elf, half dwarf would suit the gown." Thorin comments with a nod, Thranduril agrees with him.

"That sounds lovely!" Legolas smiles and looks to me.

"I don't care, as long as it isn't slim fitted and shows off my bits. Go wild." I shrug with indifference.

"I shall have one of my best seamstresses sent to Erebor to begin designing the dress." Thranduril bows his head to me.

"Aye, I'll have the best seamstress we have as well. Fodin her armor master has her most recent measurements so she doesn't have to worry about the original make. Just the fittings." Thorin nods his head and Thranduril nods in agreement to his proposal.

"Wonderful." I sigh with relief, happy that this shit is over with.

"I shall have your robes made my son." Thranduril looks to Legolas who nods once, not even looking at his father.

"Kili? Do you have preference for your robes?" Thorin looks to his nephew with a raised brow.

"Not really uncle." Kili shrugs with a smile, Balin nods and writes it down.

"I do believe that's everything..?" I look to both kings who nod.

"I shall send you a copy of the notes I have taken today your majesty, by Mole." Balin smiles to Thranduril who nods his head to the elderly dwarf in thanks.

- Erebor - Wedding Day -
- One Month Later -

"I am PANICKING!" I say to Dìs in horror, Tauriel standing beside her with a smile. I rest a hand on my belly that's slightly grown more then last time. It's bigger then a normal pregnancy! I hope to God I don't become an Octo-mom!

"Calm down lass, you will be perfectly fine!" Dìs straightens out my dress, the perfect fusion of dwarf and elf styles. It looks gorgeous.

"I agree with Lady Dìs, you will be fine. You love them do you not?" Tauriel says as she adjusts my veil for me, Legolas had it made for me. My bouquet of flowers sits in the corner.

"That's not the problem I'm having!!" I look to her with sheer panic. "There's so many people! Good God I'm gonna piss myself!" I whine out in horror, crossing my legs as I breath heavily. All those eyes on me!! Fuck I hate it! I hate it so much!!!!

"Just focus on them lass. It will be fine, trust your loves." Dìs smiles to me patting me on the back. "My little pebble looks so handsome in his robes! " She gushes with a smile.

"Aye, Prince Legolas looks handsome as well. They're eager to see you in your dress Ellen." Tauriel smiles to me reassuringly. A knock comes to the door and Balin pokes his head in once we said it's clear.

"Tis almost time Ellen." Balin smiles to me warmly, the dwarf dressed in his finest robe and I exhale shakily.

"We'll go take our seats. You'll do great dear." Dìs gives me a hug before leaving.

Stepping out into the hallway, Groot stands there waiting for me. "Hello Mama." He smiles to me happily, having been working as a woodcarver.. which sounds morbid but he makes works out of his own wood for others. He's wearing a suit made of black rose petals and leaves that looks like a tuxedo.

"Hey baby.." Wrapping my arm into Groots he leads me through the hallways, we wait a moment before Balin gives us the queue. The music changes into a fusion of harps and drums.

Walking down the center aisle with Groot past all of Greenwoods citizens who could make it... And all of Erebor and fucking Dale. I look up and focus on my boys while panting in panic, who stare at me in awe. Jaws dropped as they take me in. Thranduril and Thorin side by side as the officiants, looking regal as ever wearing their crowns. I speed walk with along with Groot with grace, praying to the Valar I don't die from my anxiety. I can take down fucking army's but the one thing that's gonna kill me is this!

Groot releases me with a smile on his face, bowing his head to the kings before taking his seat. Aka making his body a chair and sitting. I step up with the help of my loves. Legolas and Kili both take an edge of the veil and raise it over my face, revealing the make-up Dìs and Tauriel did for me. "Sasakhabiya abnâmul.... (You look beautiful)" Kili whispers to me in awe.

"It looks as if the stars are shining within your eyes.." Legolas says to me in Sindarin with a deep whisper. I have no idea what they're saying but I blush anyways. We all look to the kings.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the union not between the Slayer of Smaug and the Prince of Erebor... but between the union of our two kingdoms through love!" Thorin bellows out with a strong voice, looking to Thranduril to continue the speech.

"Two princes marrying the same woman, their love for her connecting our two kingdoms who had ill blood naught a few years ago..." Thranduril speaks with an equally strong voice that sends shivers down my spine. He smirks when he sees this.

"Prince Legolas Thrandurilion of the Greenwood and Prince Kili son of Dìs and Vili of Erebor shall unite through soul, fea and flesh to the Slayer of Smaug, the Druid of Arda.. Lady Ellen Paige... from the kingdom of the United States within a realm far from our own." Everyone looks to each other in confusion about where im from.

"Do you Prince Legolas take Lady Ellen to be your wife forever more? To never leave her side, to join her in the Undying Lands should she perish..?" Thranduril asks his son who's gaze steels under his father's.

"I do." Legolas nods with a smug smirk, Thranduril grits his teeth.

"Do you, Prince Kili take Lady Ellen to be your wife, until the very stones crumble beneath our feet? Until Mahal calls back his children to his halls? To care for both her and your future pebbles?" Thorin asks his nephew with a smile and Kili beams.

"I do." Kili nods his head saying with enthusiasm.

"And do you Lady Ellen take Prince Legolas." Thranduril looks to me with longing in his gaze, pleading me silently.

"And Prince Kili." Thorin adds in.

"To be your husbands until the stars die out and the song of Eru ends?" Thranduril pleads me with his eyes to say no.

"Until the end of days?" Thorin smiles to me with happiness.

"I do!" I nod with a beaming grin.

"By the word of Mahal and the stones of old, I pronounce you Husbands and wife!" Thorin looks to Thranduril who nods.

"By.. By the grace of the stars above and the Valar themselves, I pronounce you Husbands and Wife.. you may kiss your bride..." Thranduril grits his teeth with longing in his eyes, a single tear runs down his cheek. Kili and Legolas each take turns kissing me with grins on their faces. Several Groots shoot off cannons filled with flower petals that cover the floor. Everyone erupts in cheers and claps. The both of them slide a single ring onto my ring finger, the both of them fitting together perfectly. One dwarvish looking ring and the other thin and elegant, an elvish style.

I smile at them and slide on rings of my own onto each of their hands. Made of the bones of Smaug and with a golden inlay, Dori helped me make them since he's a jewelry maker. They both take their hands in mine, all of us walking down the stairs and outside Erebor.

Long wooden tables grow from the soil sit, wicker baskets grown from them. Lines of exotic fruit trees and small pouches of seeds hang from them. Party favors from me to the people of Greenwood, Erebor and Dale. We all wait outside and shake hands, thanking people for coming. People flock to the tables in awe, happily taking baskets and filling them with fruit. Bags of seeds filling their pockets in awe.

"They like your 'party favors'."  Legolas says to me with a laugh.

"I'm glad, I wanted to give them something to remember this day." I smile at my husband's happily.

"Bombur has made a cake for you since you told him about your human wedding customs." Kili says with a smile.

"Aye, there is food awaiting for us inside. The whole Company is there waiting for a party." Legolas grins to me my eyes wide.

"You sir, had me at food!" I giggle and they both smile softly at me.

- Later -

"Bilbo!!" I squeal put and rush to him, he laughs and smiles happily giving me a hug when I crouch down.

"You look absolutely incredible, Ellen. Congratulations!" He smiles to me happily, wearing his finest suit he has. He even brushed the hair on his feet for the occasion.

"Thank you Bilbo, I'm so happy you could come!"

"It was no trouble at all. Your horse is quite fast! He even let me nap inside of it during the night!" Bilbo gawks with a boisterous laugh.

"You're more then happy to keep it so you can visit us whenever you want." Bilbo laughs and nods his head, resting his hands on his suspenders.

"Bilbo!" Kili smiles at the Hobbit who begins to talk with him, allowing me to go to our other guests.

"Congratulations." Turning around I seen Lord Elrond smiling to me, Aragorn and Arwen by his sides dressed in their finest. His sons Elladan and Elrohir around somewhere causing mischief, most likely at the buffet table trying the foods from my homeland.

"Thank you Elrond, I'm so happy you could make it!" He gives me a gentle hug.

"It was our pleasure." He says with a smile, giving my hand a gentle kiss.

"Pleasure to see you again Lady Ellen." Aragorn bows his head to me with a smile. "Congratulations on your union."

"The pleasures all mine Estel and thank you!" I giggle softly.

"Hello my lady, I am Arwen. Congratulations on your marriage." I smile and bow my head to her in thanks.

I shake their hands and take my leave, my eyes widen when I see Beorn here with his son Wormwood on his shoulder. "Ah, the bride." He smiles to me, holding a huge mug of ale.

"Missy Ellen!" Wormwood waves his leaves to me with excitement, sipping a mug filled with wet mud and worms.

"Congratulations on your union, I have brought you a gift." Beorn says with a bow of his head. "At your home is a new hive of my bees, I knew you found them cute." He says with a small laugh.

"No way!!" I squeal with excitement. "Thank you so much!"

"It is my pleasure." He nods his head to me. "I hope they bring you much honey, i know you will care for them well."

Authors Note: Smut next chapter 👀

Chapter Text

Written: November 11th, 2024

- Home -

I giggle with amusement as Kili kicks open the door, holding me in a bridal carry. His tongue poked out in concentration, Legolas laughs behind him at his co-husband. Kili walks us into the house, handing me over to Legolas who carry's me up the stairs.. then back to Kili so he can set me down. "You two are boobs!" I snort out a laugh and they both grin at me.

Legolas crouches down and removes my shoes from me, setting them aside. He rubs my feet for me while Kili undresses. I blush a light pink at my husband. "You danced the night away my love." Legolas smirks up at me. Why is this man so fucking hot?

"I felt comfortable, I knew everyone there." I shrug with indifference, hiding the blush on my face.

Kili crouches down and takes over, so Legolas can get undressed. "Let's get you undressed my love." Kili smirks and un-fastens the dress for me. Pulling loose the many strings to the bodice, Corset and other stuff they put on me.

"Thank you baby." I give Kili a kiss and slide out of the dress with a sigh. Kili kisses the spots that are red from chafing. I get up and quickly walk to the bathroom, undoing the braids in my hair while I walk. "I gotta wash my face then I'll be ready!" I need to get this make-up off my face.

Legolas and Kili look at each other and nod in agreement. Both men sit and wait for their bride.. on their knees waiting for commands. Their cocks starting to get hard with anticipation of what she might do to them.

Walking out of the bathroom with a clean face, my eyes widen when I see Legolas and Kili kneeled on the floor with their hands behind their backs. "What will you have us do my lady?" Kili asks with a smirk.

"Are-" my eyes light up with excitement and Legolas blushes, the tips of his ears turning pink.

"Yes my love." He nods his head "You're in control." I squeal with glee, clapping my hands while bouncing up and down. I'ma top!

"Legolas on the bed! Kili in the chair!" I order with a sadistic grin, both men look at each other and gulp nervously.

Legolas gets up off the floor and moves to the bed. Laying down in the center of it, unsure of what he should do.. only for vines to grow out of the beds frame and grab ahold of his wrists and ankles. He gasps as they pull his limbs towards the edges of the bed, only giving enough slack so it doesn't hurt him. Legolas gulps and feels his cock stirr even more from the forcefulness. He gives the vines a tug and realize he's not going anywhere.. he's under my mercy.

Kili sits down in the seat and his arms and legs are bound to the chair by vines. Making him yelp in surprise, looking down at them. He tries to tug on them to free himself but the vines only tighten slightly more. "I've wanted to do this for so long!" I squeal with happiness, climbing onto the bed while biting my lip. Moving on top of Legolas he looks at me in awe, letting out a shaky exhale. I rest my bare pussy against his growing length, a grin on my face.

"Now, before we get into the fun we need a safe word. My safe word is Monstera, a SafeWord is typically a word you don't say during sex so you don't accidentally say it." I explain to my lover while gently teasing him, a vine moves to Kili's cock and rubs up against it gently.

"I uh..."  Legolas bites his lip trying to think of something, but his brain too focused on his cock resting between my pussy lips.

"Diamond will be mine." Kili says with a huff and I nod my head.

"Starlight! I like that one." Legolas nods his head to me.

"Alright, should you ever feel like you need to stop. Say your safe word or if you can't remember it just say SafeWord and I'll stop everything immediately." I look to them sternly and they both nod their heads in understanding. "Any hard no's? Like wax dripping on you?" I ask with a tilt of my head.

"I don't.." Legolas grimaces not knowing what counts as a kink.

"Neither do I.." Kili says nervously, chuckling slightly.

"How about if you don't like it, tell me?" Legolas nods his head nervously and I smile to him. "Let's begin~" from the ceiling a branch drops with a weird looking plant on it. Kili stares at it in confusion as it travels to his member.

"What is-" Kili groans in surprise when it slurps around his length.. and proceeds to move. A plant pocket pussy that strokes him slowly making him groan to himself. Tugging on the restraints he looks at the two of us.

Leaning forward onto Legolas, I grind my pussy against his cock with a smile his eyes flutter closed at the sensation. "Ah.." he exhales softly. Leaning forward with excitement, kissing him gently, he moans leaning forward to reciprocate eagerly. Tugging at his restraints already with a frown, I smile at this. Already getting quite wet.

"You're being so good.." I purr to him, he exhales shakily.

"Oh fuck-" Kili throws his head back with a drawn out groan. Clenching his fists as the plant works him to full hardness.

"Please- keep moving.." Legolas begs me with a pant, I giggle and resume rolling my hips against his cock. Slowly coating it in my slick. Reaching up I rub the tips of his ears, he hisses out with a groan. "Fuck- love- sensitive-" He whimpers out as I continue to gently stroke his ear tips. He pants whines and thrashes around, bucking against me as lust rushes into his system.

"Oh fuck!" Kili grunts out, tugging against his own restraints as vines begin to play with his ears.

Leaning down I smirk at Legolas, licking up the length of his ear before sucking on the lips. He moans loudly, leaning into my mouth with a wheeze. I pull away from him suddenly when I feel his cock throb underneath me removing the plants off of Kili. They both looks at me in confusion. "What?? Why.."

"No- I was so close!" Kili kicks his feet around, cock throbbing against his leg. I smirk at them, letting them cool down for a moment before resuming the sweet torture of edging.

"Oh fuck.." Legolas moans out when I begin to get more aggressive in my sucking of his ear. Giving it gentle nips makes his cock jump. "Don't fucking stop-" he groans to me, barring his neck to me. His cock soaked with my slick. Kili moans and groans as the plant begins to start sucking on his cock again. The plants on his ears sucking on them gently, the Dwelf (dwarf/elf) becoming drunk on the pleasure. The plants are quickly pulled away once more and he curses loudly in dwarvish. Thrashing around in the chair, wanting the pleasure to come back.

When I feel Legolas start to get close, he holds his breath. Hoping I don't notice... But I lift off of him again and he cries out. "Fuck- please my love!" Legolas stares at his slick soaked cock with a whine. Tugging at the vines fruitlessly, his cock twitches and jolts. Legolas pants loudly looking up at me.

"Do you think you've been a good boy?" I lean down and rub his ear tips with an evil smirk, he groans deeply. Shivering in the pleasure of the sensation, his cock jumping.

"Mmm- yes! So good!" He cries out to me with a high pitched voice. "Been a good boy!" He cries to me.

Kili pants loudly, sweat running down his body. "Please.. please I need your hot cunt wrapped around my cock." Kili begs for me in dwarvish, his brain reduced to his base settings.

"You've both have been good.." I say while tapping my lip. "Alright, let me prepare." I rise off of Legolas and walk to the bathroom, a Fleshlight plant lowering from the ceiling to fuck his cock. He whines and moans as it jerks him off, keeping him from orgasming. Tears pool in the corners of his eyes while he wheezes.

- Bathroom -

Standing over the tub, a plant comes out of the well. A slimy sap dripping from the around the end of the plant. "Let's hope learning from the gays has taught me enough... God bless Watts The SafeWord.." I whisper to myself, gently pushing the naturally slicked up plant into my ass with a grimace. I gasp when I feel pre warmed water be pushed inside of me from the plant. I groan and grimace when it pulls out. "Fuck how can the gays do this??" I say with a huff, feeling like I need to take a dump.

Standing over the toilet, I sit down and release with a grunt. "They better appreciate this.." I growl with a frown, getting up to do another douching.. then stretching my butthole with a plant that slowly expands.

After a few minutes of doing this I wipe myself clean with a scowl and walk out of the bathroom. Seeing both men held captive and panting like wild dogs. "Alright.." I pant softly, my face a bright red. "Im ready for you.." Both men stare at me like they're hungry wild cats. "Fuck me like the beasts you are."

I move quickly and climb back onto Legolas, my vines releasing Kili who all but launches himself at me like a wild cat. Forcing me to be laying on top of Legolas on my back, his face dives into my cunt with a growl, slurping and licking at me. "Oh fuck-" I grip onto Legolas as he pants, tugging at his restraints. Kili groans as he fucks his tongue into my pussy, wanting to eat me like it's his last meal.

"Free me so I may fuck you like you deserve." He hisses into my ear and I blush. The moment the vines go slack his arms are wrap around me. "Ready Kili?" He calls to his co-husband, holding me tight to his toned body.

Kili pulls back with black eyes, beard wet with my slick. "Aye.." He on top of me with a grin.

Legolas' cock moves, curling and pushing against my asshole. Easily gliding in because of my own slick on his member and my preparation. "By Elentári.." Legolas breaths out with wide eyes, his cock sliding in with ease. Kili grabs ahold of his own member, pushing it inside of my pussy slowly with a deep groan. "I can feel you Mellon (friend)." Legolas laughs all the while I moan out.

"How does it feel? To have both your Yasthûn's (husbands) cocks inside you?" Kili hisses out to me, tugging on my hair. "Teasing little vixen.."

"Keeping us close to orgasm for so long.." Legolas kneads my breasts in his hands, a smile on his face. Littering my neck with kisses and hickeys, the both of them just sitting inside of me.

"How does it feel to be so full of cock?" Kili growls to me, tugging my hair again gently forcing a moan out of me.

"So.. so fucking good!" I speak with lidded eyes. Kili looks to Legolas who nods his head, Legolas pulls out with a hiss. Just as he pushes back in, Kili begins to pull out. Both men concentrating hard on their rhythm, not wanting to leave me without one cock inside of me. "Oh fuuuck!" I whine out to them, holding onto Kili and Legolas for dear life.

"Was it worth the wait?" Legolas asks with a laugh, panting loudly as he pistons inside of me like a well oiled machine. Hair wild and eyes black from his arousal.

"S-So fucking worth it!! Holy shit-" I moan deeply when I feel my orgasm snap, squirting all over Kili who's eyes widen with a grin on his face.

"That's one.." Legolas grins to his co-husband who grins back at him.

"O-one..?" I say nervously and they both laugh.

"Oh yes my love.. you're gonna keep cumming until you pass out." Kili purrs to me, wrapping his hand around my throat and squeezing it gently. I whimper softly while staring at him.

"Or until we fill your holes with so much cum that it overflows." Legolas chuckles at me with mirth. "Whichever comes first!"

"So hot and tight around us.." Kili leans down and kisses me fiercely, quickly taking power over my mouth with his tongue. I whine and moan again him while Legolas speeds up with a hiss, holding on tightly to my hips.

Legolas sucks and bites against my neck. "Such a good little slut for us aren't you? Taking us so well.." Legolas whispers to me in Sindarin as he fucks the braincells out if my body. He bites on my neck hard making me whine, cumming quickly once more. I was always quick for back to back orgasms.. my all time record was 5.

"I'm close-" Kili hisses out to Legolas who nods his head to him. "Damned woman kept us on the edge-"

"Fuck her full of cum." Legolas grins to Kili who growls deeply, plunging himself as deep as he can. Cum spurting inside of me, filling me with warmth. Kili pants loudly but doesn't stop fucking into me. "Yesss good!" Legolas groans deeply, Kili pants and leans over my shoulder towards Legolas kissing him gently. The elf groans as he kisses back, my eyes widen at this. Their tongues fighting each other, Kili getting aggressive with it. Grabbing the elf by his hair, Legolas moans into Kili's mouth as the dwarf sucks on his tongue. They pull away and a strand of spit connects them.

"Holy fuck.." I comment with wide eyes and the dwarf looks to me with a smirk.

"Like that?" He comments and I nod my head eagerly, desperately wanting to see more! I will pay good money to see Legolas cock dumb with Kili fucking him.... Legolas smirks at Kili, leaning up to continue kissing him. All the while watching my reaction.. and feeling my reaction when I squeeze down on the both of them. Making them moan out against each other's lips in pleasure.

"Fuck-" Kili hisses out, becoming oversensitive quickly. "Cum Legolas!" He growls out to the elf who pants loudly.

"Make me!" He grins, Kili chuckles evily. Grabbing Legolas by the hair making the elf moan. Kili rubs Legolas's ears, hearing the elf whine in pleasure.

"Cum inside her." Kili growls out deeply to the elf who whines, Legolas rubs my clit quickly with his fingers when he feels me twitch around him.

"Fill me full of cum Legolas!" I whine to him pleadingly, he hisses loudly. I feel his cock twitch and pulse inside my ass, cum shooting out of him into my channel. He groans and moans into my neck, panting loudly as his orgasm trickles off.

"Come on my darling.." Kili purrs to me while rubbing my clit, staring into my eyes. I whine and buck my hips against the both of them, feeling the coil of orgasm form once more.

"Come on.. be a good girl.." Legolas leans and sucks the tip of my ear into his mouth. I moan out loudly arching my back off of him, an explosion of pleasure coming from my sensitive ear tips. I cum weakly against their cocks, filled with a haze of pleasure. "Good.. good girl.." Legolas purrs out to me with a smile.

"Mmm, she is a good girl for us." Kili smiles at me lovingly, kissing my neck gently rocking his cock inside of me.

"M'Tired.." I whimper out and Legolas chuckles. "When did..?" I gesture between the two of them limply.

"We've been talking to one another for about a month now. We knew you found the idea erotic.. so we sat down and had a chat." Legolas explains as he pulls out of me with a grunt. Using his fingers to push his cum back inside me with lidded eyes.

"We decided to do stuff like that when you're here so you can watch." Kili smiles at me lovingly, pulling out of me and rushing off to get a wet towel.

"That.. Was hot as fuck!" I exclaim happily with a smile, Legolas pushes the sweat damp hair from my face, moving himself to lay next to me.

"Im glad you enjoyed it Rosebud." Legolas smiles at me. "Do you want to shower? Bathe?" He asks me and I huff out.

"Probably should shower.. but I'm tired." I whine and Legolas kisses me gently.

"Bath it is, we'll wash you up alright?" Nuzzling his head into my neck before quickly standing up, Kili returning with a towel. He wipes the cum from in-between my legs. Legolas heads to the bathroom to start warming the water.

"Here." Kili picks me up bridal style and carries me out of the room with a beaming smile filled with love. "Let's get you cleaned up. I'll change the sheets okay?" I nod my head happily, giving him a thankful kiss which he reciprocates. Kili sets me down in the tub to let Legolas get to work.

Chapter Text

Written: November 12th, 2023

- Ten Months Later -

Holding onto my husband's hands I scream out in rage, pushing like my life depends on it. "FUUUCK!!!" THESE BASTARDS DID THIS TO MEEEE!!!!

"You're doing so well my love!" Legolas smiles at me, pushing my sweaty hair from my face.

"You fuckers!" I whimper out with pants. Kili laughs with a smile.

"Push again!" The dwarvish midwife urges me with a smile, I grip onto my husband's tight and push with a roar of rage. Her beard braided in a way that it remains out of her face.

"HOW CAN WOMAN DO THIS SHIT WITHOUT PAIN MEDICINE?!!?! I FEEL LIKE IM GONNA DIEEE!!!" I cry out with tears in my eyes, my head leaning against Kili weakly.

"You're not gonna die! We won't let you!" Kili kisses my head, holding onto my hand tightly.

"C'mon lass!" She urges me on and I push with a scream. "I see tha head!!" She reaches her hands forward and I continue to push, digging my nails into my husband's hands. I feel a sudden relief of pressure, like I took the biggest shit and exhale in relief the pain subsiding for a moment... then the cries of a baby fills room. The midwife clamps off the cord and rushes off with the baby, showing it to Oin who's in the other room. Quickly making sure it's alright. The midwife rushes back to help with the placenta and make sure there's not another baby.

"Legolas...?" I urge him to go to our baby with a look of worry and he nods, using his speed to go be with our child.

The midwife pushes her hand inside of me gently, feeling around to help detach the placenta and to make sure there's no other baby. I would kill for an ultrasound.. thank God she's got tiny hands.. "You've got another!?!" She says with wide eyes, Kili's eyes widen. "Still in tha sac!?" She quickly uses her nail to slice it open and amniotic fluid gushes all over the table and floor. "Tha rarely happens!" She looks to me and laughs, my eyes widen in horror when I realize I need to go through that again.

"What's happening???" Kili says with worry, holding onto my hand.

"Push miss Ellen! You've got another pebble who's as stubborn as a mule! Like his da I assume!" I moan out in despair, giving another push with a scowl of rage. "You've got to push out the placenta before tha other babe! Now push!!" I roar and push with a scowl. She feels around for a moment and nods, pulling something from my body and dumping it to the side. "Placenta's done. Now for the pebble!"

Legolas walks around the corner holding a baby in his hands. He looks in confusion, seeing the placenta on the floor and me still pushing. "Another??" He looks to Kili with wide eyes and he nods.

"FUCKING TWOO!!!" I roar at them with a scowl filled with rage. "YOU FUCKERS AND YOUR POWERFUL MAGIC SPERM!!!" I spit out at them with a snarl, Kili cries out in pain when I dig my nails into his hand. But he doesn't complain because he knows I need this.

"They're two different babes from two different fathers I reckon!" The midwife comments to the men in the room. "There were two different placentas and sacs! This pebble is slightly younger then its sibling I reckon!" Legolas' eyes widen in shock, looking to Kili who's just as in shock. "Come on lass! Just one more baby!" She urges me on with a smile, knowing I'm absolutely exhausted.

I pant out loudly, feeling like complete shit. No doubt I've already pooped on the poor midwife. I hold on to Kili and push again with a scream, soon feeling another wave of divine relief hit me. The midwife clamps the cord and rushes off with the baby, Kili goes this time. After a moment cries till the room. Legolas walks up to me and smiles, I easily push the placenta out and it falls to the floor with a splat. Like a fucking leaf in a windy corridor. "Praise Mahal.. it's over.." I lay back and pant loudly.

I lay back completely exhausted, going limp for a minute. Letting my heart rate regulate. That was tougher then killing a fucking dragon.. "Want to see her?" He smiles to me and I nod with a smile. He sets my cleaned off daughter down onto my chest.. and I notice the slight point on her ears which means she's half elf.

"This.. is Kili's daughter.." I say with a smile, Kili walks back into the room holding a baby in a blanket.

"This is Legolas' daughter. Full blown elf ears on her." Kili laughs with a smile, setting the baby girl down on my chest. Both of them find my titties and begin to drink. Good God, it's like they sniffed em out.

"Names?" I look to them with a raised brow. "I'm thinking.. Milli daughter of Kili.. and Zelda Legolasriel." Both men smile in agreement, liking the ring to it. Hahaha. One named after Milly from Helluva Boss and the other an elven princess from a video game.  (AN: I put riel as the female version of ion. Which basically means daughter of Legolas. Like Thrandurilion means son of Thranduril 😁)

"Okay.. I'm gonna sleep now.. once they're done drinking, burp them please and take your shirts off and hold them skin to skin... Gotta Kangaroo hold em.." I instruct them and they nod their heads. I sigh And close my eyes, quickly falling asleep.

- Next Day -

I lay back with a smile, allowing the plant I just made to milk me like a cow. Into glass bottles for the plant nanny Fran I just made to feed the babies at night. Legolas and Kili happily cuddle and love their daughters, even swapping them to give the other love. Which warms my heart, they both view them as their own children even if they're not biologically theirs.

A knock comes to the door, Legolas hands Milli over to Fran and gets up. He slides out of the door and talks to Bombur who hands him a tray with a smile. Legolas bows his head in thanks and slides back in the room, bringing the tray over to me with a smile. "Here you are my love, your favorites."

"Chocolate chip muffins??" My eyes sparkle with excitement and he grins at me. "And slightly burnt Grilled Cheese???" I love grilled cheese where the bread is slightly black, it adds flavor that I enjoy.

"And scrambled eggs with those pan cakes you enjoy. Along with bacon." He sets down the tray on my lap.. and I could cry at the sight alone.

I sniffle while looking down at my food. "Thank you." I look to Legolas and he smiles warmly, kissing the side of my head.

"Eat and relax my love, we'll care for the children." I nod, detaching the bottles and putting on the nipples.. made from you guess it, plants. He takes them and walks over to the sitter who smiles, returning the child to Legolas. He sits down and begins to feed Milli. Snatching up the still hot grilled cheese I pull the top open and place the bacon inside before digging in like a ravenous beast.

I made Fran the Nanny have four arms because most mothers wished they had more arms. I also gave her a tail she can use it to catch things. They're similar to a Groot but modified to be more resilient. They're deadlier then Groots, Fran will be able to kill for my kids if their lives are threatened... And Yes I named my Nanny, Fran because of the show the Nanny.

Fran's job is to take care of the kids at night so we all can get enough sleep. Legolas wanted to take care of them since Elves requires less sleep then humans, but I told him no. I'm an elf and I sleep like a human does. Kili hasn't dropped his circadian rhythm of a dwarf either!

"We shall return home in a few days, i want to make sure you and our  pebbles are perfectly alright." Kili says to me as I stuff my face happily, doing a little wiggle like dance.

"Soun goo wif mee." I give him a thumbs up holding a hand over my mouth and he chuckles.

- Home - Third Person POV -

"Where's my grandchild?" Thranduril walks into my home with Tauriel right behind him acting as the guard.

Legolas scowls slightly at his father just barging in. "They are with their mother nursing." He says while crossing his arms.

"They..?" Thranduril's eyes widen in shock. "She had more then one babe? How many?" He squints at his son as he sits down at the table.

"Two. One is Kili's and the other is mine." Thranduril's eyes stare in disbelief.

"How could you know?" He asks his son with curiosity.

"She got pregnant when Kili was still a dwarf, his child is half elven so their ears are smaller then my child." Legolas explains while drying a milk bottle he cleaned from last nights feedings.

"What are their names? Their genders..?" Thranduril leans forward in his seat nervously.

"Kili's daughter is named Mili and my daughters name is Zelda." Legolas says blandly, setting the dried glass bottle in the cupboard.

"I.. I have a grand daughter..?" Thranduril smiles slightly.. but wishing it was his daughter.. instead of his sons..

"Aye." Legolas nods once.

"Leggy?" Ellen calls out from upstairs.

"One moment my love!" He calls out with a smile, grabbing a plate of food he rushes upstairs with a grin.

- Ellen POV -

"Who's here?" I ask my husband as he walks into the room, handing me my plate of food. I dig in with gusto.

"My father, he wished to see the children." Legolas says with a sigh.

"He can come up, I don't mind." I shrug with indifference, Kili is out hunting some more animals before winter hits. I've been watching the babies and having Fran change them since I'm uncomfortable with it.

A moment later Thranduril leans into the room. "Good morning, Ellen. Congratulations." He smiles to me warmly.

"Thank you Thran. Come meet your grandkids." I smile and Fran looks towards the king form where she's rocking the little ones back and fourth.

Thranduril strides into the room, looking into her arms. He sees two baby girls sleeping soundly. "They're beautiful.." he whispers softly with a smile.

"Why thank you. They get their good looks from me." I smirk smugly and he laughs softly.

"May I hold Zelda?" He looks to me and I bite my lip my anxiety rising up. The thought of all the germs on his body. Fran holds out her hand above the King and he is coated in a layer of mist. "What-" he looks at me in confusion.

"Disinfectant spores. You can hold her now." I smile at him and I nod my head. He squints slightly in confusion but nods his head, he takes Zelda from Fran's arms with ease. The elfling sleeping soundly in her grandfather's arms. Thranduril smiles to himself while rocking her gently.

"Heir secured." I say with a long drawn out sigh. "Now I don't need to make any more kids... I'm inventing fucking condoms." I say to myself with a scowl.

"Condoms..?" Thranduril looks to me in confusion, Legolas lays beside me in bed.

"It's like a membrane that goes over the males genitals, it collects the sperm so it doesn't fertilize any eggs. And protects against sexually transmitted diseases." I say with a sigh waving it off. Probably going to have to design a plant for it and do a fuck ton of testing.. I have time though until Balin calls for my aid to concur Moria. And there's fuck all to do here, how did people stand it? The boredom?? I have a lot of free time while the kids are babies.. they're gonna be babies for a while according to Legolas.

- Two Years Later -

A mole appears at my feet next to me on the floor from where I'm washing dishes. I crouch down and look at the signet on its chest. It's Balin's mole.. "Who is it love?" Kili asks me with a smile, feeding Milli some mashed up bananas and strawberry's.

"Balin.." I take the letter out of the moles chest and break the seal, opening it up and reading.

"Is it.. time..?" He asks me nervously.

I read the letter quickly and sigh. "It's time." I nod my head with a grimace. "I need to prepare, I'm going to meet him at Erebor where he's waiting with troops. Gandalf's already at Moria waiting for us." Jogging upstairs I open the dresser and grab clothes to wear, tossing them behind me where vine snatch them up and fold them. Placing them inside my suitcase.

Kili follows after me anxiously, giving Fran the duty of watching the kids. Legolas is off exploring some more while the kids are still young. I needed to convince him to go because he wanted to stay with the kids.. but looks like I'm gonna have to call him back. "Is there no other way??" Kili looks at me as I frantically pack, the house coming to life as I pack things from multiple places.

"Unless you want Gandalf, Balin and Ori to die. No." I look to Kili with a frown, changing my clothes and rushing down the stairs. Grabbing my food parcel I just wrapped up via vines in the kitchen full of cheeses, dried meats other long lasting foods.

"I don't want you to die!" He exclaims while rushing down the stairs behind me. "I thought we had more time!!!"

"Kili, I'm sorry but you knew this was going to happen." I step towards him and take his face in my hands. "I promise you, I will come back alive. I have planned and planned for years on how to kill this fucker. I have back-ups for back-ups. I will be okay, I will keep you updated via the moles. If not me then Balin... I'll be okay my love." I smile at him and I see tears in his eyes.

"I can't lose you.. you own my heart.." He leans forward and I wrap him up in a tight hug.

"You won't. I promise." I kiss him on the lips and he melts slightly. "I need to give Milli and Zelda my love before I go." I pull away and walk over to my babies who're playing with their food. Kissing the both of them on their heads with a smile. "Momma will be back before you know it." I look to Kili and smile, he smiles back weakly.

"Just.. be safe.." he says weakly and I nod my head.

"I promise." I kiss him one last time before stepping outside the house, tossing the sack of food to Chestnut who grabs it mid air with it's vines. I make sure my dragon skin armor is held inside and nod to myself. Equipping my Ram armor before mounting my steed and bolting off like a bullet towards Erebor.

Chapter Text

Written: November 13th, 2024

- Erebor -

"Balin!" I call out as Chestnut slows to a trot beside the elderly dwarf on his Ram.

"Ah, just in time lass." He smiles to me, leaning back on his steed. "I'm glad you could make it."

"I wouldn't miss this Balin." I grin to him and he nods.

"How're Kili and the pebbles holding up?" He looks to me with worry, knowing they might be concerned since I'm going off to battle.

"Kili doesn't want me to come but I insisted. He knows I've been planning this for years.." I sigh softly, running my fingers through my hair. My helmet at my waist.

"He just worry's for you lass. You're his wife and mother of his pebbles." He shakes his finger at me with a smile, patting me on the shoulder gently.

"I know..." I exhale softly and look at the army that's gathered so far. "When do we leave?" I look to him and he looks around with a hum.

"Gandalf said he will meet us there.. Let us leave know eh?" He smirks to me and I nod, he grabs a horn at his waist and blows it. It's gonna be a while till we get to Moria, a week at least, especially with this many people.

- Moria -

"Is this the place lass?" Balin looks around with a scowl. Only seeing a small stream leading into a small pond and the side of a mountain.

"Yeah, I recognize it from the movie. This is the back door into the mines." I point at the wall, seeing Gandalf sitting on a rock with Shadowfax.

Looking to the water I clench my fist and transform the plants inside into briars. Squeezing and shredding the watcher in the water, the second I close my fist the water begins to splash around violently. "That's one obstacle down." I say with a sigh through my nose.

"What was that lass???" Balin rides up beside me with wide eyes.

"It was called the watcher in the water in the stories. A huge octopus that attacks the fellowship and barricades the doors when they enter the mines. Forcing them to go forward into Moria." I look to Balin and explain, he purses his lips with a frown.

"What's an octopus?" Ori asks me, notebook in hand and a quill. Looking a lot better with his different haircut.

"Here, it's still whole." I raise a hand up and the watchers corpse is pulled out of the water. Dropped onto the land and spread wide so Ori may examine it to his hearts content.

I ride up to Gandalf with a smile. "My dear!" He smiles and stands up with the help of his staff. "So wonderful to see you again."

"It's great to see you too Gandalf." I smile to him and dismount from Chestnut. Walking up to the old man and giving him a big hug.

"How are your children fairing?" He asks while smoking on his pipe.

"They're growing like weeds." I snort out a laugh at the pun. "Kili is watching them for me, Legolas will be returning home hopefully. Unless he gets the bright idea to come here.." I sigh and shake my head. "My money's on him coming here."

"The Prince does have a rebellious streak on him doesn't he?" Gandalf smirks to me in amusement laughing softly. "So my dear." Gandalf turns to face the door. "Do you know the password to the secret door? I have been here a few days and read the message but I couldn't figure it out for the life of me." Gandalf frowns while staring at the door, blowing smoke rings through his nose.

"It's the elvish word for friend. I won't say it yet because it might alert the enemy.. I need to suit up then we can begin the slaughter, I've already got Audrey ready to come out of hiding near the main entrance." I walk back to Chestnut, sliding out of my flammable Ram armor. I suit up into my Smaug skin armor as fast as I can.

(Credit: Azmal on Deviant Art)
(Minus the black wings)

(No credit for this. It's AI garbage someone else generated. I tried to look for something else that matches what I had envisioned but this was the closest I could get 🤮)

With the final strap pulled taught, bags filled with seeds at my waist and a bandolier around my chest. All made from Smaug, even the thread was made from Catgut string from his intestines. Stepping up to the door, Gandalf looks at me this a smile on his face. "Made use of all his parts did you?"

"Mhm. I believe in what the Native American people of my world believed in, using every piece of an animal. If I couldn't find a use for it I gave it to craftsman who could. Every member of the company got something from that dragon." I say with a proud smile.

"Lass? What shall we do?" Balin walks up to me, garbed in his own armor. The mace I made for him strapped at his side.

"I have my minions at every point of entry on this mountain thanks to the plans you provided me. I need you and your people to stick out here and kill any stragglers... I'll send a mole out to let you know of my progress." I look to Balin and see him nod.

"Aye, keep us updated. I'll let your husbands know of your progress. You just focus on culling that beastie." He wags his finger to.me and I nod my head with an unseen smile.

"Back in the saddle again it seems.. Gandalf you let me handle the fighting of Goblins, Orcs and the like. You focus your magic on the Balrog okay?" I look to the elderly wizard. He's going to hold it still with my help, then I'll stab the fucker so it's weakened. Gandalf will get the kill.

"Alright my dear, I put my faith into you." Gandalf nods his head to me with a nervous smile.

"Alright.. Let's do this.. Mellon." I speak out and the doors begin to open, the sound of stone scraping against stone filling the air.

"Mahal blesses you lassy!!" Balin says to me with a firm nod.

"Thank you Balin. May the Valar give you blessings as well." I say before strutting into the hall, Gandalf by my side following along after me. Moss begins to grow around my face, I manipulate it and create a pseudo torch. "Much better."

"Allow me to as well." Gandalf blows onto his staff and the crystal inside begins to glow.

"Let's kick some ass." I say with a laugh, dropping a huge handful of seeds onto the floor. Small root snakes form and slither off with speed, acting as sentry's for me. "These fellas will alert me if anybody comes out way."

"Good thinking Ellen." Gandalf smirks to me, stuffing his empty pipe into his pocket.

"It's gonna be a while before we encounter some baddies, get used to walking Gandalf."

"I'm quite used to walking already my dear." He chuckles at me and we walk in silence.

- Two Days Later -

Coming up on another room, I check my sword and see that it's not glowing. Smearing some moss on the doorway it begins to grow. "Root snakes says there's a good vantage point ahead. A good place to funnel the beasts to us." I look to Gandalf and he hums. "It's near where Balin dies in the story, there's a well where Pippin I think, pushes a skull down a well and it makes a bunch of noise."

"Hm.. are you certain? Is there a place to escape to if we become overrun?"

"Oh my sweet Gandalf." I rest my hand on his shoulder with a smirk. "We aren't gonna be fighting every single creature! We just need to get a couple so I can infect them with the same mushrooms I did-"

"Those spiders!" He smiles to me with a small laugh. "You clever girl! You're going to infect the whole mountain with those mushrooms aren't you?" He laughs again with amusement.

"Damn straight. I'll be making an army of unkillable warriors. The only way to destroy them is by hacking them to pieces and burning them." I grin to him sadistically, my eyes glowing green.

"You truly are a clever woman! No wonder the Valar chose you my dear, they couldn't have picked a better candidate!" Gandalf laughs again in amusement.

"Let's get started shall we? Toss these seeds down in the hallway, that's where they'll come from. They'll stomp on em and they'll detonate, all we need to do is wait." He nods his head taking a bag of seeds from me, walking up and down the hallway evenly distributing the seeds.

Walking inside the well room I walk through the doorway after breaking the lock with my sword. Tossing seeds down the staircase just in case, I return to the room. Gandalf meets me there, I toss some seeds to the doorway and barricade them both. "Ready?" I ask him and he nods his head. Pushing the skeleton down into the well I scream. "HELP!!! SOMEONE!! IM LOST!!! PLEASE!!!!"

I look to Gandalf.. and we hear movement skittering down the halls. "Incoming." He nods his head and stands beside me, pulling Glamdring from its sheath. The blade begins to glow a soft blue.

I sense the mushrooms detonating and the goblins being confused.. Then being taken over violently. "We've got infected." I whisper to him, controlling the infected through my mind. Forcing them to cough spores into the faces of other Orcs and Goblins. Who scream when they feel their brains being shredded by the mycelium. Absorbing all of the information inside their skulls. "Got about a thousand in the mountain. They hide from the Balrog that still sleeps."

Removing the barricade we walk out into the hallway and see the taken over goblins and Orcs. You wouldn't think they were being controlled unless you look into their mouths. Which are covered in damp spores. The mushrooms propagate in the lungs, coughing makes the spores spread through the air.

Ordering them mentally with a command, they grab a hold of me and Gandalf. "They're gonna think we're captives so we can get into the main area. That okay?"

"Indeed my dear, whatever you think is best." Gandalf nods to me, his eyes glittering with amusement. The Orcs holding us begin to drag us down the hallway.. More aptly pick us up and carry us so we don't have to get more tired.

It's a while before we come up on the area, an Orc sitting on a throne made of dwarf bones looks to us. "You found the lost ones eh?" He smirks out, standing up. The infected goblins spread about, coughing as they walk. The spores getting into the lungs.. and lingering.

"Please!! We didn't mean to trespass!! Me and my papa got lost!!!" I say to them with sorrow in my voice, pleading to them.

"Release us Orc!" Gandalf plays the role of feeble old man.

"Take the girl to the breeding pits, let's see how long she lasts before she breaks." The orc grins at me hungrily. "the old man will be dinner." The orc orders with a wave of his hand.. expecting his minions to rush off.

The orcs holding us let go, me and Gandalf stand up. "Now that's fucked up." I shake my head at the leader orc who turns and looks at us in confusion. "Now I don't feel bad about murdering you all. So uh.. thanks? I guess?" I snap my fingers and all the dormant mushrooms come to life and begin to grow and spread violently. "You done fucked with the Slayer of Smaug motha fucka!!!" A small goblin launches itself at the leader, coughing in his face. Any non infected who try to attack us get grabbed by my infected, then are coughed on to spread the spores. "This shits easy as fuck."

"Indeed my dear, the true battle will be Durin's Bane..."  With a wave of my hand the goblins and Orcs disperse, traveling through the mountain and spreading the blight.

"Oh shit-" my eyes widen when one of the goblins gets to the.. breeding area.. "they've for fucking elves in here!" I look to Gandalf in horror. "Hold on I need to-"

- Goblin POV -

"Get away!!" The elf kicks at the goblin who stands still staring at her.

"Calm yourself.." The goblin wheezes, it's eyes unblinking. "I mean you no harm. This goblin is dead, but fear not for I am no necromancer." The elf woman looks at me in confusion.

"Stay away!" She kicks at me again.

"What is your name? The one controlling this beasts name is Ellen Paige. I am two levels below you." The goblin looks at her while tilting its head.

"I am Gal'reth... You.. you don't speak like them..?" She looks at me in confusion.

"Because I'm not a fuckin goblin." I roll the goblins eyes while shaking its head. "Let me release you from your bindings and lead you to freedom." I hold the goblins hand out. "There is an army of dwarves waiting while I clear the mines of the evils within."

"M-my sister.. she's a few cells over?" She asks me worriedly.

"I shall release her as well. May I approach?" I ask with a tilt of my head and she nods. I walk the goblin closer and break the chains with it's bare hands. Helping the elf woman up. "An orc is waiting outside to carry you to freedom, I am controlling it. Let me free your kin." I walk the goblin over to the other cell and see an elf woman shaking on the ground. I break her chains and an orc walks in and picks her up gently.

"Sev'ah!" Gal'reth calls out with tears in her eyes, being held in an orcs arms.

"Worry not, a healer is outside awaiting. The Orc will travel fast and without sleep. There is no need to worry. I must go, I have more of the mountain to clear.."

"Wait!" The elf calls out and I look to her.

"Thank you.. Ellen.." I smile and nod to her once before pulling out of that goblin. There were some human women held in the cages as well, the elf talked to them and calmed them down. Forcing the orcs holding the women to sprint towards the way we came, full speed...

- Ellen POV -

"I fucking hate orcs." I scowl in hatred, Gandalf looks to me with a raised brow.

"What's the matter my dear?" He asks from the rock he's sitting on, packing his pipe with Old Toby. Aka Middle Earth marijuana.

"They had woman held captive as breeding mules. I've sent them to Balin, my moles already delivered the message to expect them."

"They are disgusting creatures.. They never should have existed." Gandalf says it's a frown on his face.

"Let's continue, most of the mountain has been claimed by my Blight. That's the name I've given it." I smirk to Gandalf who laughs softly.

"How do you plan on gaining the Balrog's attention my dear? It's going to take quite the racket to wake it up."

"I'm gonna give it a wakeup call.. via Mandrake." I look to Gandalf and grin.

"Mandrake? I have never heard of such a plant, what does it do? Does it hail from your world?" He asks as we begin to descend towards the long walkway where Gandalf dies in the story.

"Nope, it's from.. well I'm not sure. But it's used a lot in fantasy settings. In a story I read its said the cry of an adult Mandrake will kill a person. I plan on dropping a fuck ton down the hole where the Balrog is sleeping. Hopefully it dies." I sigh softly, already having a backup plan if that doesn't work.

"Hm.. It may take quite a few of them to slay a beast the size of a Balrog.." Gandalf comments with a hum.

- One Day Later -

"Alright, goblins have finally found the Balrog. It's sleeping." I look to Gandalf who nods with a hum, the both of us standing on the bridge.

"Let us awaken the beast then." Gandalf smiles to me nervously and I nod my head.

- Third Person POV -

The Goblin leaps down into the hole, Mandrakes strapped to its body with vines. The goblin skitters to the perfect position, releasing the knot on the vines. The Mandrakes fall to the floor silently.. the moment they make impact they begin to scream. Landing all around the sleeping Balrog, the infected goblin scurries up and out.

Durin's Bane awakens with a scowl, roaring out in rage of being awoken from its slumber. It crushes the Mandrakes under its hands while it rises, then smushes them under its feet. Looking to the goblin who screams to gather it's attention. Cracking it's whip at the creature the goblin dodges with inhuman reflexes. "Catch me if ya can bitch boy!" The goblin blows a raspberry before sprinting down the halls.

Opening its wings with a snarl, it flaps them rapidly, quickly gaining height. It grabs onto the wall of its nest and climbs into the hole that leads to a hallway. Whip of fire in hand it roars as it chases after the speedy goblin.

- Ellen POV -

"Enemy inbound." I look to Gandalf who begins to feel nervous. "We've got this Gandalf." I rest a hand on his shoulder. "If a normal fucking elf can kill a Balrog, so can we." I smile to him reassuringly, he sighs and nods to me. Preparing his sword and staff as we hear the Balrog approach. The temperature getting higher and higher, we both begin to sweat.

The Balrog finally squishes the Goblin with its foot just as it enters he hallway where it can see us. "HEY!! YOU RAGNAROS WANNABE!!!" I scream out with a manic grin. "LIGMA BALLS BITCH!!!" The Balrog squints at me with a snarl, rushing forward with a roar. I grin and just as it enters the room.. I snap my fingers, thick fireproof vines wrap around it pulling its limbs taught. The Balrog looks confused. "HAHAHAHA!!!" I wheeze out laughing, nearly pissing myself. Grabbing my sword I dash forward with a laugh of crazed glee that would give Jinx a run for her money.

The Balrog pulls at the vines and I hear them creak under the pressure. Using a mushroom from Sun Haven as a spring board I launch myself in the air. My Little Friend held above me I roar out, stabbing the Balrog in the chest. It screeches out in pain, tugging at the vines. I grunt with effort and use my body weight to tug me downwards, making a huge slash before I finally fall free with my sword.

The Balrog in his pain gains adrenaline, allowing it a final burst of super strength breaking free of the vines which makes my eyes widen. "SHIT!" I got to slash at it again but it  backhands me, sending me flying.

I hit the caverns wall with a grunt of agony, making a huge crater from the amount of force the Balrog used. I feel blood trickle down my face and I scowl. Knowing that my arm is broken at least..

The Balrog laughs evily as it advances, whip and flaming sword in hand. It's eyes locked onto Gandalf, recognizing him. "YOU CANNOT PASS!!!" Gandalf smacks his staff down looking to me frantically to see if I'm alright.

"You.. fucking.." Pushing myself out of the crater, my eyes glow a bright green. Being held up by Vines that anchor me to the wall. While small vines inside my suit begin to slather doses of 'The Big Guns' all over me, mending my skin deep wounds. "Butt Munch.." i pant loudly, feeling my armor snap a broken bone back into place. I hold back a scream, a tendril begin shoved into my mouth. Being given the Big Guns orally, I suck the goo eagerly and begin to heal rapidly. Come on!!! Heal faster!!

"YOU CANNOT PASS!!!!" Gandalf orders again, slamming his staff down. The Balrog pausing in its assault for a moment with a wince as the light from Gandalfs magic assaults him. The Balrog roars and emits a wave of pure darkness and flames that combats Gandalfs magic. Continuing its advance with a growl, preparing to use it's whip.

"I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. YOU CANNOT PASS!!! The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!" he slams his staff again with a grunt of effort, forcing his magic towards the Balrog with all of his power.

All healed up I cackle and am launched forward by a vine similar t a spring. Sword in hand I land on the Balrog blind spot, stabbing my blade into its back with a feral snarl. Holding on for dear life when it screeches and pain and begins to thrash about. Trying to reach around to grab me and pull me off, I avoid it's arms forcing vines to grow from the spores stuck to my armor. Wrapping myself to the beast, I pull my blade out and plunge it back in, repeating again and again. Gandalf backs up frantically, a look of worry in its gaze we both hear the bridge crack.

"ELLEN!!" He bellows to me.. just as the bridge gives way and we all fall into the darkness.

"AHH!!!! FUCKKKK!!!" I bellow out with a growl. "I GOT TWO KIDS YOU CUCK!! I AINT DYING TODAY!!!" Sword stuck in the back of the Balrog as it tries to correct itself and catch the wing in its wings. Gandalf dives down, Glamdring in hand, he roars and stabs the Balrog's wing. Slicing it and making it unable to fly.

The Balrog screeches out, slashing it's sword at Gandalf. I pull my blade back and continue to fucking stab the beast. "JUST!" I stab My Little Friend into the Balrogs back. "DIE!!" I stab it again with a snarl coated in the Balrog's blood. "ALREADYYY!!!!!!" I scream out and stab it a final time. Releasing myself from the Balrog, I activate the spores on Gandalfs robes and create parachutes for the both of us.

The Balrog continues to plummet, I use vines to anchor us to the walls so we stop our descent. Gandalf hangs limp in the parachute. "Gandalf???" I call to him, using my vines as sort of spider legs and climbing to him. "Gandalf speak buddy come on!" Did he knock himself out?

Gandalf remains silent, I finally get to him and chest his neck for a pulse.. feeling nothing, I look down and I see bright red blood surrounding a huge slash across the robes on his abdomen. "NOO!!!" I scream and rip open his clothes seeing how bad it is.. and see his intestines hanging out of his body and I sob loudly. "NOO!!! HE WAS SUPPOSED TO LIVE!!!" I scream in agony, punching the stone wall with rage. "YOU BETTER GIVE HIM BACK!" I scream towards the sky, tears streaming down my face.

I look at his body and sob again. Holding my fave against Gandalfs. "They.. they promised.. they have to keep the promise.." I nod to myself weakly. "That's the point of a promise.. I ah.. I better collect his things, he'll need them when he comes back.." I nod to myself again in agreement. Grabbing the ring off of his hand, I create a vine necklace for it and put it around my neck. Knowing it's one of the rings of power... I'll return it to him when he comes back...

"Mole." From the thin layer of dirt my mole appears wiggling it's nose. "Alert Balin we've encountered the Balrog.. Gandalf has fallen, they may enter Moria." The mole nods and disappears back into the dirt.

With a scowl I rummage through Gandalfs pockets and collect all of his things even his pipe and weed. Storing them in a pouch on my side colored with grey bark. I look at his peaceful face and exhale shakily, wrapping him up in large leaves like a form of body bag. I have my vines carry him towards the surface to be buried.. we'll have to figure out where..

I scowl downwards and force my vines to begin scaling down the stone wall. Wanting to collect Gandalfs sword and staff.. should he need it when he comes back.

- Two Hours Later -

Finally reaching the bottom, I see a barely alive Balrog. Clinging to life out of sheer spite, it's flames diminished completely. "You.. killed my friend." I say loudly so it can hear me, my eyes dark and lifeless.

"I hope you burn in hell, you piece of fucking scum. How did joining Morgoth turn out for you? Hm? Not too fucking good did it?" I growl to the Balrog who looks at me weakly, unable to raise an arm. All of the bones in its spine broken. "Greed was your undoing. Killing one of your own because you crave power, fucking idiot." Gandalf was a Maiar and Istari, which is basically a lower level angels while the Valar are arch angels. Istari are basically seraphs kind of? Warriors or better known as Wizards. Using angelic terms makes it easier to understand what they mean..

Balrog's were Maiar who joined up with Morgoth/Melkor. Aka Lucifer, they fell to Morgoth's sweet words and false promises and transformed into these abominations... Sauron was also a Maiar, but I guess he was in higher favor to Morgoth. "I hope you enjoy sucking demon cocks in hell and getting a pinapple shoved up your ass." I say calmly, using a vine to stab my sword into the Balrogs heart. Killing it once and for all.

Looking around the area I see Glamdring and Gandalfs staff and hat. I grab them both with my vines with a heavy sigh. Looking to the Balrog.. with a thought I rip it's head off using my vines. Grabbing it's huge sword off of the ground and the hilt to his fire whip I begin to ascend up the huge fucking hole.

- Days Later -

"Lass!!" Balin looks to me with wide eyes, rushing over to me he wraps me up in a hug. "Are you alright..?" He asks me worriedly, seeing me covered in dirt, blood and overall gunk.

"No.. no I'm not." I admit with tears in my eyes, I wipe them away and clear my throat. "He'll be back... I know he will... They fucking better or I swear to Eru.." I scowl full of rage. I'm willing to kill Sauron and become the next big bad if they dont bring my friend back when they promised they would. "Did you..?" I look to Balin.

"Aye we have his body.. I've told everyone with a mole of his fate. The white council minus Saruman is convening to discuss where he should be buried..." Balin says with a soft mournful smile to me.

"Good.." I nod while staring down. Shaking my head to free myself from grieving. I need to be the strong one. "What about the women?" I ask Balin nervously as he leads me to sit down.

"They're being cared for by our medic as we speak. They say they hail from Lothlorien, they were on their way back from Rivendell when they were caught. The human women are from a merchant caravan that got raided." Balin explains, handing me a cup of warm tea. "Galadriel knows of the girls."

"I'll escort them to Lothlorien.." I say softly, sipping on the tea. Closing my eyes and relaxing for a moment, allowing the flavor of the tea to soothe me.

"Bard has said the woman are more then welcome in Dale, the lasses agree to go there. We'll be bringing them back once a supply route is established." He looks to the severed Balrog head with a grimace. Feeling a shiver of fear how his spine from the aura it radiates. "Legolas and Kili are worried for you. Did you sustain any injuries?"

"Balrog smashed me into the cavern wall after it broke loose from my vine trap... Broke my arm a couple ribs and a portion of my spine. I mended my wounds on the spot using The Big Guns orally and topically..." I explain to Balin with a bland voice, his eyes widen like saucers.

"Are you okay? Anything hurt?" He looks me over worriedly. "Do ya need our medic to take a look?"

"No, I'm perfectly healthy thanks to my medicine... Thank the Valar." I praise softly with a scowl. I shake my head again and look to Balin. "The Blighted Orcs, Goblins and Trolls will be under your command Balin. They will help you repair Moria and help defend it... Im gonna get those elf girls home and fix the bridge while I'm at it." I stand up from my seat, Gandalfs staff strapped to my back. His hat in hand I turn and Chestnut trots up to my side through the halls.

Opening its chest cavity I stuff Gandalfs things inside with care. Strapping the Balrogs skull and weapon to the sides of my horse. I see the two elves sitting next to each other sipping some broth. "Are you ladies ready to return home? I'm Ellen, the one who was controlling the Goblin."

Gal'reth and Sev'ah look to me in shock. "Yes uhm.. How..?" I toss seeds to the side and create two more horses.

"I'm a druid." I explain with a shrug of my shoulders, needing to keep my brain focused on work.

"You're the Slayer of Smaug! We heard of you from Lady Galadriel's announcement!!" Their eyes glitter in surprise, I give them a soft smile.

"That's me alright. Add Slayer of the Balrog Durin's Bane to my titles.." I chuckle softly with a grimace, their eyes widen and they gasp. "Let's get you ladies home alright?"

- Later -

Standing on the long bridge where me and Gandalf fell, seeing the huge crater I left in the wall. I sigh and toss some seeds to form a huge bridge across the chasm that was created. Gal'reth and Sev'ah ride on horses of their own, we all trot across the bridge easily and exit Moria into the sunlight.

"Finally! I've been waiting ages!" Audrey huffs out while crossing their vines, the elf girls gasp in fear at the size of the plant.

"Sorry Audrey, how many did you get?" I ask my son with an amused grin.

"Ten." Audrey grins at me with pride, showing off his razor sharp teeth. "Idiots thought they could escape me! Hah!" He laughs out.

"Thank you for guarding this entrance Audrey.  Your job now is to defend Moria from Saurons forces okay?" I give my son the order with a straight face.

"Alright Mama. I'll let my roots grow about so I can get around like my little brother." He mentions Flowey with a huff, the little flower has been in charge of Dol Guldur and it's reclamation.

"Thank you. I must get going." I nod to my child before snapping my fingers and the horses begin to move.

"What was that creature, Princess Ellen?" Sev'ah asks me nervously.

"That was Audrey, they're a plant that feasts on blood. Useful for culling large groups, I used him to fight during the battle for Erebor." I look to the elves and smile.

We soon enter Lothlorien and I sense movement in the trees. "I am Princess Ellen. Druid of Arda, Slayer of Smaug, Slayer of Durin's Bane. I come returning some captives I discovered within Moria." I call out to the elves in the trees. "I can sense you all, so you might as well come out."

A blonde elf lands before me with a frown on his face. I take off my helmet and shake my hair free, he recognizes my face from the wedding he attended as Lady Galadriel's guard. "Hail Princess Ellen." He bows to me.

"I'm sorry for just appearing so suddenly Haldir. But I found these woman being held captive inside Moria by the Orcs while I was getting rid of the.. infestation." The two plant horses trot forward towards him.

"I recognize these woman, they have been missing for some time. I thank you on behalf of Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn." Haldir bows his head to me.

"Think nothing of it. I'm just doing what's right." I smile to the elf warmly. "Just guide these horses and they will follow you to Lothlorien. I must get going, my husband's must be worried." Haldir nods his head and walks to the woman, I turn around and return to Moria with a sigh.

Chapter Text

Written: November 14th, 2024

- One Week Later -

I watch with dead eyes as my minions cart away rubble from the doorway. Large trees grow and act as supports, the dwarf miners walk in and help move things along with their pickaxes. I stand there silently observing, my mind racing inside my head. How long did it take for Gandalf to be reborn in the movies? I would reckon a few weeks right??? Because it would take time to get to Lothlorien, then stay there for a week.. then to travel down the river should be another week- "Princess Ellen?" Snapping out of my thoughts I look to the black haired bushy bearded dwarf who approached me.

"Yes?" I raise a brow to him.

"What are we gonna do about Durin's Bane's corpse?" The bushy haired dwarf that reminds me of Senshi asks me with a smile. "It will start smelling soon and filling the mountain with it's stank. Plus the darkness may spread from its body."

"I'll handle it, I'll make some plants to process the corpse and dispose of it." I look back to where the dwarves are opening up the passageway. Creatures similar to Triffids from that one horror movie walk up and pick the stones up. Waddling away while dragging the stones to go dispose of it to be turned into bricks by dwarven stone masons. They honestly remind me of the coal sprites from Spirited Away..

Before I can dissociate into my thoughts once more. "Lass!" Balin calls out to me from above, peaking over the edge of the wall.

"Aye Balin?" I lean over and look up to him, seeing he's on the level above us.

"Ya've got visitors!!" He yells to me. Visitors?? Who could it possibly be?

"I'm coming up!" Extending branches out from the back of my Ram armor since I changed. I lift myself up and swing around with ease, crawling up the side of the wall I quickly get to Balin's level. My eyes focused on the floor so I know where I'm going.

Setting myself down I'm practically tackled and held at arms length. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO GET HURT!!!" Kili yells at me with wide eyes, looking me over frantically.

"Kili??? What are-" I stare at my husband in confusion, not understanding why he's here. He should be back at home-

"You should have wait till I returned home before running off to kill a Balrog!!! A balrog!!! A creature of darkness!!!! Known to cull ENTIRE armies!!!!" Legolas says with a worried look on his face, eyes wild and manic.

"Legolas?? Where are-" I look around frantically for our kids.

"The pebbles are with us, Fran is guarding them right now." He says while looking me over himself.

"Take your armor off! I need to see if you're okay!!" Kili orders me with a scowl, trying to tug the armor off.

"I'm fine Kii, the medic already took a look at me. Plus I was prepared to be tossed around like a rag doll." Or one of those dolls from that old iPhone app where it's like 'kill the buddy!'. "Plus you always bring more health potions then you'll think you'll need to a boss fight. You'll never know how long it will last!" I learnt that the hard way.. cost me so much fucking gold to restock potions using a friend's auction mount in WoW. Fucking scalpers were upping the prices of potions during a period where a new raid came out. I had made a stack of potions on my other character thinking it was enough. No. I needed three stacks because my team mates are idiots.

"Are you alright...?" Legolas holds my face in his hands, a look of worry in his eyes... What? He just asked about my body- oh.... he's talking about Gandalf...

"I..." I take a deep breath to answer him with a fake 'im okay' but suppressed emotions begin to flood my brain. Pouring over me too fast to put the genie back in the bottle, tears begin to roll down my cheeks. I choke back tears and the damn breaks. "No.." I whisper softly. Legolas pulls me into a hug, holding me tight to his body. Kili wraps himself around me from behind, giving me a comforting squeeze. I sob into Legolas' chest loudly, no doubt staining his armor with my tears. "I.. I shouldn't be crying.. he'll be back.." I say loudly before sobbing again.

"You still saw your friend die my love.. You're allowed to grieve." Legolas smiles weakly, holding me close to him. "Even if he will return to us." Legolas kisses the top of my head, Kili rubs my back with a soft smile. Both of them have tears in their eyes as well.

It's a few minutes till we're all done crying. "Lass?" Balin steps up with a warm smile. I pull back and wipe my tears from my face with some moss which slurps it up eagerly.

"Y-yeah?" I croak out to him, wondering what he needs.

"Lady Galadriel has sent word via mole that Gandalf shall be buried at sea. Elves from Lothlorien have arrived to claim his body and will be sending him off soon." Balin explains with moistened eyes of his own.

"Good.. he.. he would like that.." I nod shakily, knowing he would like to watch the ocean.

"Is there anything you would like to add to his body?" Balin asks me kindly.

"I ah... Yeah.." I nod my head, moving to follow Balin. Legolas and Kili follow after me, each holding my hands to keep me grounded. It's gonna take a while to get to the entrance.

- Entrance to Moria -

Held within a plant horse with a mane of flowers is Gandalf's body. A smile resting on his face, looking better then he was when he died.. I have no doubt that my brain subconsciously ordered the plants to put him back together again.

Holding his hat in hand, I walk up to his body and put it back on his head. Making sure to adjust it with a smile, stuffing some of his Old Toby in his pocket. Haldir who is patiently waiting gives me a nod of thanks. I nod back and allow the horse to walk away, it follows the elves out of the mountain.

Legolas holds me from behind as we watch them go. "What's next my love?"

"We wait for Gandalf the White... I'm not sure how long it will take him to arrive... After that it's gonna be about thirty to forty more years of waiting until the fellowship is ready to set off."

"We'll be by your side love, every step of the way." Kili promises with a smile, holding me close to him.

- One Year Later -
- Home -

I'm starting to think that Gandalf will never show up.. Moria is being cleared out of rock still, Balin has control over the plants I left him. Dwalin has joined his elder brother in cleaning up his homeland, Thorin has allowed his personal guard to go happily.

Thorin is doing great as King, he's got himself a husband. No shock there. I just wished it was Bilbo.. that ship will never sail, sadly.. Fili is courting a dwarrow from the Iron Hills according to his brother.. Gimli is growing up to be a big boy, I sometimes babysit for Gloin and his wife when they're too busy. Which is what I'm doing now. "Aunty Ellen!" Gimli yells out to me, playing outside with my plant minions. "There's somebody tall here!" Did Thran come for a visit?

"What is it Gimli?" I walk outside and my eyes widen when I see a man dressed in a white robe standing there..

"There's a weird guy!" Gimli points to Gandalf with a frown on his face.

"I am not weird Gimli son of Gloin." Gandalf says with a smirk, pushing back his robes to reveal his now short hair and tamed beard.

"YOU SONOFABITCH!! YOU TOOK YOUR SWEET ASS TIME!!!" I scream as I run at him, tackling him to the ground. We both land on a bed of HUGE dandelions that I conjured to cushion our fall.

"OOF-" Gandalf grunts out as we land.

"What took you so long?!" I shake the wizard violently by the shoulders with tears in my eyes. "I thought..." I sob out.

"I apologize for taking my time. But I felt the need to take extra care with my revitalization... I spent some time in the familiarizing myself in some things." I get off of Gandalf and listen to him closely, he sits up with ease. He may look old but his body is young. "I spent extra time in the libraries within Valinor, updating myself on knowledge since my last time there."

"You could of at least sent a note Gandalf.. I thought the Valar went back on their word." I was ready to become fucking Sauron number 2.

"Gandalf..? Ah- that was one of the names I went by-" He says with a nod, re familiarizing himself with his aliases of his past version.

"Yes yes, wibbily wobbly timey wimey heaven stuff." I wave it off with a scowl, knowing that he may have spent thousands of years up there with Eru.

Gandalf squints at me. "Time moves differently in Valinor my dear! I was gone centuries over there!" He waves his finger at me chastisingly.

"Yeah yeah.. but what took you so long?" I ask him with a huff.

"I spoke with some of the Valar and other souls at first." I get up with the help of vines off the house and reach down to help Gandalf off the ground. "With the help of the Valar and their magical expertise I am now more powerful the Saruman." Heaving him up with a grunt.

"Come inside, I have your things you ah.. left behind." I say with a sigh, wiping the tears from my face.

"Aunty Ellen? Who's the weird guy?" Gimli asks me with a squint to Gandalf, crossing his arms over his chest. Ready to protect his aunt. He's twenty already, reaching about 9 in human years.

"This is the wizard that joined your dad on his quest for Erebor all those years ago. The one that rescued Lord Thrain." I explain to Gimli with a smile on my face.

"This is Gandalf?? Where's his grey robes?? His funny hat! Adad said he had a funny hat!" Gimli says in confusion, Gandalf begins to grumble promising to throttle Gloin.

"Want to come inside and get washed up for lunch Gimli? I'm making food from my world again!" I smile to him and his eyes alight with joy, he rushes into the house to clean himself up.

"You kept all of my things?" Gandalf asks me as we step inside.

"Yup." I grab his staff that has been sitting in a corner and hand it to him. He smiles widely when I return it to him. "Your fancy stick." A vine hands him his pipe and a pouch of old Tobey. "Your drugs." Glamdring is handed to him in its sheath. "Your shiny pointy stick." I pull the necklace out of my shirt and pull the ring off. "And your jewelry."

"Thank you my dear." Gandalf rolls his eyes with a snort and snatches up the ring and slides it on his finger. "This ring cannot fall into the wrong hands." He explains.

"I'm well aware Gandalf. That's why I made sure to gather your things." I escort him into the other room.. where the Balrog's cleaned skull rests above my fireplace. He bursts out laughing when he sees it. "Even the fuckers head." I grin at him showing off my teeth, smirking smugly at the Balrog's skull. "I've got the Balrog's weapons upstairs. I've been practicing on trying to get the fire whip to work. I can't make it so anything but I feel you may be able to work it since you prefer to use fire."

"You kept it's weapons as well?" Gandalf raises a brow at this

"Gandalf. You doubt my loot goblin tendencies? If there is a shiny thing to be had, I shall collect the shiny thing. Why do you think I looted all the orcs at the battle for Erebor?" I say with a giggling chuckle.

"I thought you didn't want to have to clean up the pile of scrap?" He says with confusion in his voice.

"Nah, I looked through it all and took what looked interesting or usable. Not much if at any.  But I sorted all the metals and let the dwarves smelt it all down and made ingots from them to be made into something else." I shrug my shoulders with a smile.

"Aunty Ellen! I washed mah hands!" Gimli yells out to me and I chuckle.

"Wanna stay for lunch Gandalf?" I turn to my friend and ask him nervously.

"Certainly my dear, I am curious about your worlds cuisine!" He laughs and follows me into the dining room where vines begin to serve the hungry dwarf at my two hungry elflings.. who looks exactly the same as last year except the have all their teeth.

"What is this?" Gimli looks at the tortilla in confusion.

"That my dear is a Tortilla. From Mexico in my world. I like them in chip form." I push the bowl of fried chips to him. "Dunk it in the salsa, it's delicious. Or the Guacamole." Gimli squints with suspicion but tries it none the less. Dunking a chip in the Salsa and taking a bite, his eyes widen and he looks to me as if I've solved the problems of the universe.

"Mahal's balls.." he whispers to himself in awe. Gandalf sits down and grabs some chips as well, curious as to how it will taste.

"The torillas are for making Tacos or burritos. Would you like one Gimli?"

"What are they?" He asks me with his mouth full of chips.

"Tacos are like this." I hold open the tortilla and put in the Ingredients i want. "You put in what you want, fold it over and boom. You got a taco. Or you could go hard shell, but that's harder to make here.. But burritos typically have rice and beans in them and are like tis." I wrap up the burrito with practiced ease. "Then you eat." I take a bite with a smile.

"YOU DUNNAE NEED A FORK?!?" he jumps up with wide eyes. Milli laughs at Gimli, clapping her hands with a squeal. Zelda squints at him while blowing bubbles.

"No forks required." I smile and hold a hand out, having already prepared the babies a form of salsa and tiny soft tortilla chips. They're just finishing getting their teeth in..

"Where are your husbands?" Gandalf asks before taking a bite of his taco, humming with wide eyes filled with surprise.

"Hunting and checking my traps for me." I say with a grin, Gandalf chuckles with amusement.

"This is the best thing I've ever eaten aunty Ellen!" Gimli says with a mouth full of food.

"I'm glad you like it Gimli, I'll be sure to give your Amad (mother) the recipe for everything." His eyes sparkle with happiness, he nods his head eagerly before taking another big bite.

- Hours Later -

"Well my dear I must thank you, truly for returning my things to me... I am so sorry that you had to witness my death." Gandalf looks at me with sorrow in his eyes. "The Valar came to me in a vision and explained that in order for me to get my 'promotion' as you put it... I had to perish..." He says with a frown.

"You.. had to die..?" I say with tears quickly forming in my eyes and he nods his head silently.

"I am so sorry for the heart ache I put you through. It was never my intent.. But I knew you would have tried to stop me if I had told you. You would try to convince me of another way.. but you told me yourself that I needed this promotion. Now that I have it I agree, I deserved the work vacation.. I knew Arda was in safe hands with you here."

"You're right.. I get it." I sigh softly with a frown, a little hurt that he didn't tell me.. but logically I understand. I would have killed the Balrog myself if I knew he would die. The whole point was to keep him alive.. "What are you gonna do about Saruman? You got a whole makeover." I gesture to his entire face. He looks less like a homeless hippie and more a business man grandpa.

"I will have to change my robes back to grey ones for the time being... Playing the role of the old fool until it is time to strike..." He nods his head with a scowl.

"I'll be there for when the Hobbits need to be taken to Rivendell. Bilbo's one hundred and eleventh birthday party is when it starts up for real." I say with a huff.

"Hm.. we have quite some time then until we must begin." Gandalf nods his head with a hum.

"Yeah, forty fucking years.." I scowl angrily not happy I have to wait that long.. or that the author has to write forty years of time.

Chapter Text

Written: November 15th, 2024

-  40 Years Later  -
-  Warrior Training Championship  -

"Come on Milli! Kick his ass!!" I call out with pride as my daughter circles the young dwarf in the ring. Zelda sighs beside me, leaning at the bannister bored. Dwalin sits at the sidelines watching his apprentice with a hawk like gaze, gray hairs litter his beard.

"Go Milli!!" Kili cheers out as well as Legolas who jumps up and and cheers for his daughter.

Today is a tournament for pride and bragging rights. To see if one person is the best warrior who can train others in the kingdom. Dwalin took time off and taught our daughter who was eager to brawl like a dwarf when she saw her Uncle Fili sparring.. she's the more feral child.

Milli's eyes are locked onto the young dwarf. She realizes that he's too much of a pussy so she strikes, sprinting forward the dwarfs eyes widen. She copies a move from her Papa Legolas and slides beneath the young mans feet. Jumping up behind him using her axe she swivels and hits the dwarf on his side using the flat side of her great axe Kili got her as a present. The dwarf grunts and falls to the ground in pain.

"Victor! Princess Milli Daughter of Prince Kili!!" The announcer says with a grin, Milli roars out with her victory. Throwing her hand in the air holding up a closed fist while punching her chest, a feral grin on her face... While Zelda just sighs and shakes her head.

I jump over the ledge and rush over to embrace her with a smile. Dwalin puffs up his chest in pride, smug he got bragging rights for two years in a row. "I did it ma!" She says to me with a beaming smile, I scoop her up and twirl us around. "I kicked his butt like Uncle Dwalin taught me!" She says with pride, punching the air while sticking her tongue out in concentration.

"Aye! She throttled the bugger!" Dwalin barks out a laugh.

"I'm so proud of you honey! You're becoming a real warrior!" I smile at my young teenage looking daughter. A dwarf walks out and hands Milli a small solid gold metal, she grabs it and cackles like a demon in her victory. She's ferally competitive.

"Let's head home aye? I'll make you your favorite for supper." I say reluctantly, grimacing at my daughters.. odd choice in food. She definitely got autism from me..

"PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY GRILLED CHEEEEESEEEE!!!" she screams out with glee, I grimace in disgust at my daughters odd eating habits. I can't exactly fault her though, I do eat some foods people might consider weird.. I like my popcorn burnt and my grilled cheese burnt as well. It gives it more flavor, enhances the saltiness.

I grab her hand and lead her outside the arena so we can meet up with her dad's. She giggles as she rests her axe in her shoulder. Just as I get outside the arena, a mole pops out of the dirt and looks up to me. Crouching down I look at the signet on its chest and see it's from Bilbo... And a frown forms on my face. "Love?" Legolas asks me in confusion, wondering what's gotten me to frown. Grabbing the letter from the mole, I break open the seal and begin to read. My friend growing. "It's starting." I look up to my husband's who's faces turn white. Realizing what this means .

"Mama?" Zelda says in confusion, looking like a mini version of her father but styled like Princess Zelda.

"Shit.." Kili curses with a frown, clenching his fists at his sides.

"How long?" Legolas asks me with a grimace, knowing he'll need to speak with his father before we leave. They'll have to make arrangements for the children to be watched for an extended period.. he hates leaving them with his father but they enjoy it more then Erebor.

"We have about a week to get to the Shire for Bilbo's birthday." I say with a soft sigh, my mind begins to mull over how long the quest took. How using my mounts would make it faster.. the shortcuts and whatnot.. And the possible delays.. I'll need to pack more food then I think I should. Whatever fresh foods we'll need I can grow, but bread, preserves meats and cheeses will need to be brought.. as well as medicines, seeds and honey.

"We have plenty of time, Bilbo made it to Erebor in only a few days on your horse." Kili says with a warm smile, reassuring us both.

"I know. We'll have to have Thranduril look after the kids while we're gone.. Let's get home." Legolas says with a sigh, a frown hidden from his daughters. Thranduril hasn't stopped pining after me... A hundred years is a blink to an elf, his words.

"Why are we going to Grandpa's?" Milli asks me in confusion, holding my hand in hers.

"Mommy has some business to take care of.. I'll be gone for a while, your daddy's will be coming along too." I explain to my daughter with a smile.

"Where are you going?" Zelda asks me with a furrowed brow, holding her father's hands.

"The Shire.. then elsewhere." I say with a sigh. I've become a real mother over these last 40 years.. I had to step it up when the kids gained consciousness, I don't want them to be fucked up later in life just because I don't like children.

"You're going on a quest!!" Milli says with an excited squeal, wanting to join us.

"Aye, we are. An important one." Legolas nods his head to his daughter, a small smile on his face. We soon approach the group of plant horses that await us. We all begin to mount up, to head home.

-  Few Days Later  -
-  Third Person POV  -

"Everyone packed? We've got everything? Weapons? Whetstones? Rations?" Ellen asks her husbands while packing up Chestnut full of things they'll need.

"Aye, I've got almost everything packed onto Peanut." Legolas says with a nod, strapping his many weapons to the plant horse.

"I got all my stuff on Walnut!" Kili says with a grin to me, his bow and quiver strapped and ready. As well as all the stuff he used on the journey to Erebor. He even brought his dragon armor I had made for him.

"Mama do we have to go to Grandpa's?" Milli says with a whine, she's more dwarf at heart then elf. She'll be bored out of her mind in Greenwood.

"I like Grandpa's it's a lot more quiet then at Uncle Thorin's.." Zelda says with a scowl, huffing out while crossing her arms.

"Grandpa's is so boring! The way the elves fight is too fancy!" Milli pouts as shes lifted up onto Walnut by the sentient plant. Buckling her in safely with vines.

"They fight with grace, unlike you!" Zelda says with a roll of her eyes. "You fight like you're a rabid bear!" Zelda scoffs.

"Duh! It's more fun that way!" Milli retorts to her sister with a scowl. "Unlike fluttering around like those ballerina's mom talks about! Or the dancing tap penguin from her story's!" Milli crosses her arms.

"Girls! Enough bickering alright?" Kili says with a fond smile. "Milli simply learned how to fight like a dwarf Zelda. Milli will just have to learn how to fight like an elf, then combine it to create a style your enemies will have a hard time countering." Kili looks to his daughter who's eyes begin to sparkle at the idea of destroying her enemy's with a mixed style.

"I prefer the bow like Ada (Dad).. Ranged attacks feel.. safer.." Zelda wraps her arms around herself with a frown.

"Don't worry sissy, I'll beat em up close with my fists." Milli holds her hand up, her arms becoming wrapped up in sharp vines like brass knuckles. "While you shoot em!"

"Milli! What did I say!" Ellen yells out to her daughter.

"Crud.. not to make weapons with my plants until I know how to use them.." Milli says with a frown and sigh, sinking down into her seat on the horse. Zelda snickers at her sister getting in trouble for using their powers... Yes they did inherit the Druid gene allowing the Valar's gift to pass down.

-  Ellen POV  -

Walking outside garbed in my Ram armor, Fran following me with a smile. "You'll meet us there Fran?" I ask her and she nods her head.

"I'll protect the little sprouts while you're gone, I have already had Groot return to care for your bees and plants my lady." Fran says with a smile, bowing her head to me.

"Good, it would suck to have them die when we're gone. It's a bitch and a half to get a new Queen." I huff out with a frown, packing the final thing inside of Chestnut. Legolas walks outside and packs his things as well before mounting Peanut with ease.

I mount up on Chestnut and look to my home with a smile. "Alright! First stop, Greenwood!" I smile to my kids, all of the plant horses begin to move and speed up quickly.

-  Greenwood  -

"Children!" Thranduril smiles when his grandchildren dismount the horses. Running up to give their grandpa a hug.

"Thank you for watching them father." Legolas bows his head once to his dad. Still pissed off that he wants to fuck his wife.

"It is no issue my Greenleaf. Anytime.. I suspect it is beginning?" Thranduril looks to me and I sigh and nod my head, he frowns at this.

"We're getting a head start to it all." I nod to him once.

"Be safe.." he gives me a look of worry, not wanting me to be injured before he can have the chance to convince his son to join the relationship.

"Of course." I smile to him. "You two be good for your Grandfather or Fran won't make your favorites." I point to Milli and she gasps in horror at not getting her weird food combinations. "Or you won't be able to go to the library." I point to Zelda and she nearly faints at the idea of not reading her books.

"We'll be good mama!" Milli promises with a smile, resting her hands on her hips.

"Mhm. We'll behave." Zelda smiles as well.

"Good, I love you. We'll be back as soon as we can." I give them both kisses and hugs. Their father's doing the same... Before we're off.

-  Shire  -

My plant horses trot down the road all the Hobbits staring at us in awe. We soon come upon Bag End and dismount, the horses step into Bilbo's lawn and take root. Happily sucking up the grounds fertile nutrients. I approach the tiny door and leans down, knocking on it with a smile. "No well wishers! Or happy birthdays!" I hear Bilbo yell out from inside.

"What about friends?" I copy Gandalf's line and the door opens quickly.

"Ellen! You made it!" Bilbo smiles wide to me, I crouch down and hug the old Hobbit.

"It's so great to see you Bilbo, Happy Birthday." I smile to him with a grin.

"You're quite early my dear, the party is not until later!" Bilbo laughs softly, shaking his head at me.

"We made good time." I move out of the way so he can see Legolas and Kili. Legolas looks around in awe of Hobbiton, having never been here before. I always came to Bilbo's party's that he invited me to with Kili.

"Where are your little ones?" Bilbo asks me with a tilt of his head. He ushers is all inside, we wipe our shoes off outside before stepping in. Well, I crouch and step inside as well as Legolas.

"Staying with their Grandfather at the moment." I sit down on a sturdy chair with a smile.

"He wished to see them and we didn't want to take them on such a.. long journey." Legolas says with a grimace.

Bilbo squints at Legolas in confusion foe his grimace. "Long Journey? You could make it to Hobbiton within a few days on your mounts?"

"The downfall of Sauron is upon is Bilbo." I explain and he pales considerably at this information, clutching the ring in his pocket.

"Ah... Yes.. I ah.. Wanted to give my ring to.. Frodo.." Bilbo stares at the ground while touching the ring silently.

"I believe Sauron is currently having Gollum tortured for information about who had the ring last." I look to him and he blanches.

"Me.." He exhales with a wheeze.

"You told him of The Shire and your name was Baggins when you played-" I sigh and speak to him softly.

"The riddles..." Bilbo has to sit down, he clutches onto the chair for dear life. "Oh no.. what have I done?"

"Saved all of Arda. The ring couldn't have fallen into better hands Bilbo, I promise you I will take care of Frodo." Bilbo looks to me with tears in his eyes. "At the party instead of pulling a disappearing act. Explain to Hobbiton that you plan to retire and explore the world while you still can. You will return home and collect your things, leave the ring and Bag End to Frodo.. Then Cashew will take you to Rivendell."

"Frodo? What does he have to do with this? what happens? To my son?" Bilbo looks to me in confusion and in shock.

"Originally in the play. You leave for Rivendell, after disappearing. Leaving the ring to Frodo. Gandalf looks at the ring and leaves to research it in Gondor's libraries. He comes back and throws the ring in the fire and words appear. He goes to Saruman I think? He urges Frodo to go to the Prancing Pony to meet him there where they meet Aragorn who escorts them to Rivendell. Gandalf was held captive by Saruman... On the way to Rivendell they're attacked by Ring Wraiths and Frodo gets scratched, he's rushed off to Rivendell by Arwen who arrived just in time. He's healed and meets you there."

"Thank goodness.." Bilbo holds his chest and exhales with relief.

"That's when they begin the Fellowship. Your.. son.. offers to take the ring to Mordor." I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees. My husbands listening intently on what the future holds for us.

"Oh Frodo.." Bilbo sobs into his hands.

"I will protect him Bilbo. I promise you this."

"We shall make sure that no harm befalls them." Kili adds in with a smile to the Hobbit, patting him on the back gently.

-  Later  -  Party  -

I stand and sip on some cider and talk with Gandalf and Bilbo about the plan. In order to beat the Wraiths we're gonna have to leave early. Frodo is going to tell his friends he's heading on an important mission to Rivendell. Sam will come regardless.. it's Pippin and Merry I might have trouble with. But I'll bribe them with endless food.

"Ah! Frodo!" Bilbo calls over his cousins son who he views as his own child. The young Hobbit walks over and looks at us in confusion. "This is Princess Ellen Paige! And her husband's Prince Kili and Prince Legolas!"

"The druid!" Frodo looks at Bilbo in shock before looking at me with a growing smile.

"He's told stories of me hasn't he?" I snort out a laugh, crouching down to he on eye level with the Hobbit.

"Yeah! He said that you slayed a dragon? And two entire army's of Orcs, Goblins and Trolls just using plants?" Frodo asks completely baffled that killing things with plants is possible.

"It's true, I also slayed a demon more recently. A Balrog called Durin's Bane." I say smugly and his eyes widen like saucers.

"Aye, the creature was alive during the years of Durin.. He's the reason for his downfall." Kili says with a nod, wrapping his arm around me.

Bilbo looks up and checks the moon. "Ah, should be about time for my.. speech." Bilbo looks to me and I smile at him, patting him on the back. "You can talk with them more after the party son." Bilbo pats Frodo on the back before walking to the stage.

He stands up on the boxes and clears his throat, tapping a fork on a glass to gather everyone's attention. It goes quiet and they all look to him. "Thank you all for attending!" Bilbo smiles at everyone. "I must admit I'm surprised I have lived this long!" He adds with a chuckle that some people join. "I feel that it is time for me to get one last adventure in before I join Yavanna." Frodo squints with confusion and everyone begins to whisper. "I am leaving Hobbiton for the last time... I leave everything to my son in all but blood, Frodo." Bilbo smiles at the young Hobbit who looks shocked. "Thank you all for so many wonderful years here.. Although I'm still miffed you thought I was dead when I ventured to Erebor to help slaying Smaug the Terrible." Bilbo scowls at his relatives before bowing and dropping off the box. "Enjoy the rest of the party!"

Frodo rushes obre to Bilbo in confusion as he begins to walk back home. I quickly join him along with my husband's and Gandalf. "Uncle- no, Dad! You can't leave!" Frodo follows after the elder Hobbit as he begins to pack for his last journey.

"Why not my son?" Bilbo smiles to Frodo as he begins to pack his books.

"Because it's not safe! There's many dangers out there! You've experienced them so yourself!" He talks about the orc packs.

"He won't be in danger Frodo, he has Cashew to ride on his journey. He shall reach his destinations swiftly and without fear of harm." I step inside the smial last and close the door behind all of us.

"Aye, my wives steeds are quicker then the winds. You could reach from here to Erebor in a few days." Legolas adds in with a smile, Frodo begins to look nervous.

"My son.." Bilbo reaches into his pocket and begins to play with the ring. "You are about to go off on an important quest.." he pulls the ring out of his pocket and hands it to Frodo with a grimace. Biting his cheek hard enough to draw blood which he swallows down. "The fate o the world rests upon your shoulders son.. Ellen is a seer and has seen your journey."

"W-What?" Frodo looks to me, wondering what his father's talking about.

"Finish packing Bilbo, I'll fill him in." I smile to the elderly Hobbit who nods quickly leaving the room. I look to my husband's, asking them silently to pack for Frodo as well, they nod and follow after him to help pack.

"What does Dad mean Princess Ellen?" Frodo asks me nervously.

"Just call me Ellen, Frodo.. and it means that.." I feel a disturbance outside in the grass. Seeing a void in my vision near the window. it must be Samwise. "Gandalf could you get the visitor at the window please?" I look to the wizard who nods reaching outside to pull in Samwise Gamgee who yelps.

"Were you eavesdropping Samwise Gamgee?!" Gandalf thunders his voice to the Hobbit.

"I-I wasn't dropping no eves sir! Honest!" Samwise squeaks with a blush of embarrassment, looking like a cat that got picked up by the scruff.

"Its perfectly alright, I was expecting you." I smile to Sam warmly, closing my eyes I take a mental look around the property and a good ways away... And see nothing. "I cannot sense any other living thing nearby." I shut the window with a thought using the flowers on the windowsill. Sitting down on a stool I get myself comfortable. "So, as I was saying... I'm from another world. In my world, this one is a very popular story by a man named J.R.R Tolkien. It originally started out as a bedtime story to his son, but he began to write it all down and had it published... I know everything up to the fall of Sauron... You Frodo and Samwise are the Hobbits that cast the ring into the fires of Mordor."

"I'm just a gardener miss!" Samwise says with wide eyes filled with shock.

"You are, but you are a good friend to Frodo." I say to the Hobbit who looks scared. "He will need you on this quest."

"Why must I go on this? Can you not?" Frodo looks at me in confusion and fear.

"I shall accompany you and assure your safety, but I can't cast the ring into Mt. Doom... Sauron will most likely have his eye locked onto me, he wants me gone..."

"Do not forget we require Meriadock Brandybuck and Peregrine Took." Gandalf says from the corner of the room, leaning against his staff. His hair having grown out some.

"Why do those not good thieves need to come?" Sam asks with a scowl.

"They help with the destruction of Isengard funnily enough. They rally the Ents together. We need them." Sam sighs with a scowl. "I will be looking for them tomorrow and making them an offer, they hunger for adventure.. and the constant free food will be a plus as well." I grin at Sam and Frodo.

"Fine.. when do we leave? I can't be leaving Mr. Frodo to do this all by himselfs.."

"We leave tomorrow afternoon. We will be meeting Strider at the Prancing Pony where he will help us remain unseen.. My horses are quite recognizable sadly.. We will use them to ride to Bree but that's as far as we go for now."

"Strider is a good friend of mine and Lord Elrond, he is an acquaintance of Legolas and Ellen as well, you have nothing to fear." Gandalf says reassuringly to the Hobbits who relax slightly. "I shall meet you in Rivendell, I fear I shall slow you down." Gandalf stands up from where he's been leaning, seeing Bilbo standing in the entry way ready to leave.

Chapter Text

Written: November 16th, 2024

- Next Day -

Having searched through the entirety of the Shire mentally through the plants. I've found Pippin and Merry, exactly where they were in the story. I sense them sprinting through the corn fields with plants in their hands. "Oi!" Both Hobbits bolt the moment I speak, I sigh and grab them by their feet using Vines and they drop with grunts. "Stealing is wrong you know." I step up to them and they look at me in confusion, seeing that I'm farmer McMahgot.

"Who're you?" Merry asks in confusion, looking up to me while grabbing the cabbage he stole.

"Wait! That's the lady from Bilbo's party!" Pippin says to his friend, pointing at me with wide eyes.

"That's me, you want the full name and title?" I ask them with a brow raised, helping them both up. They both nod their head, wanting to know who I am exactly. "I am Princess Ellen Paige, Slayer of Smaug the Terrible, Slayer of the Balrog: Durin's Bane." Their eyes widen more and more with each title, jaws dropped in awe which makes me smirk.

"Whoa.. uh.. Why're you here and why'd you stop us?" Merry asks with a squint, leaning foot to foot nervously.

"I need your help- well, more like Frodo needs your help." I explain to them with a smile.

"What's wrong with Frodo?" Pip asks with concern. I sense movement towards the farmers house, I look over the crops and see him run out of his home.

"You blasted thieves!!" He yells out and both young Hobbits blanche. Hearing his dog barking loudly.

"Stay here." I look to them and walk towards the elderly hobbits home. Pushing my way past the corn stalks.  Stepping out into the open with a smile on my face. The farmers eyes widen in surprise when he sees me. "My sincerest apologies for my friends behavior sir." I smile to the elderly hobbit who holds his dog back with confusion. "Allow me to regrow what they have stolen and then some." Waving my hand for effect, plants all over his farm begin to flourish. He looks at his fields in awe, dropping his dogs leash. The dog walks over to me and begins to lick my hand eagerly.

"You're the Druid.." The farmer says with a blissful smile on his face.

"Aye sir, I am. I hope me invigorating your crops and farmland will help make up for Meriadock and Peregrine's thievery over the years...?" I ask kindly with a grimace and the farmer begins to grumble to himself.

"Fine, they're off the hook but if they steal anymore from me I'm letting my dog loose on em!" The farmer stabs his pitchfork into the ground with a huff. I smile and nod in agreement.

"Certainly sir, thank you. We shall take our leave." I bow my head and walk towards where Pippin and Merry are hiding.

"Holy Balls she is a druid Pip!" Merry whispers in awe as he stares at the huge ears of corn that have doubled in size.

"Think about it Merry, if we join her. We get endless food!" Pip whispers to his best friend with glittering eyes.

"Oh.. you're onto something Pip." Merry grins at his friend just as I push past the last stalk of corn.

"So are you in on joining the journey with Frodo?" I ask with a playful grin, having heard them with my elf ears.

"If you can provide food for us that will keep us sated.. the answer is yes." Merry stands in front of his friend with his arms crossed. Raising his chin as he looks up to me.

"I can give you any fruit or vegetable imaginable. Even ones that don't exist in this world." I say while resting my hands in my front pockets, a smile on my face.

"WE'RE IN!" they say in unison with twin grins.

"Good, go home and pack light but for a long journey. I'll meet you outside Bag End at noon!" I clap my hands and bow my head to them, taking my leave. They begin to whisper to each other as they collect their stolen goods before rushing home to pack.

- Later -

Standing outside Bag End, my husband's and I watch Frodo speak with his next door neighbor. Having learnt from his Uncle Bilbo almost losing his home when he left for Erebor.  "Thank you for watching Bag End for me Mrs. Gamgee." Frodo smiles to the woman who waves him off.

"It's no problem dear, you go have fun on your adventure." Frodo bows his head to her in thanks and quickly jogs back over to us. A huge pack on his shoulders.

"I'm ready!" He looks to to me with excitement in his eyes and I grin, Pippin, Merry and Sam all ready to roll as well.

"Alright. Let me make you some ponies to ride then." Holding my hand out, a mushroom concealed in my sleeve shoots out spores towards the ground. Floating in the air they land on the grass and grow, transforming into smaller versions of Chestnut. "Mount up everyone!" All the Hobbits mount up with ease, my husband's check everything over while I mount up as well. "Flowey, you good here?" I look to my son who is sitting just outside Bag End dunning himself.

"Hm? Oh yeah, I'll be fine mama. I'll send a mole with a status update if they come." Flowey nods to me with a grin.

"Thank you honey." I smile thankfully to my child, looking at everyone I ask. "We ready? Everybody got what they need?" I ask them and the Hobbits all look to me with a nod.

"All ready love, let us ride to Bree." Legolas grins to me widely and I smile.

"Aye, let's head off!" Kili smirks at me and I shake my head at them with a laugh. Vines wrap around the Hobbits bodies holding them to their ponies as we slowly gain speed as we exit Hobbiton. "

Whoa!" Frodo yells out in surprise, clinging onto his pony as we begin to move into a full gallop.

"We shall reach Bree by late afternoon!!" Kili yells out to the Hobbits who cling to their steeds for dear life.

"So quick??" Sam says in surprise as the horses begin to move faster and faster.

"Aye Samwise, my wife's horses aren't constrained by flesh or exhaustion. They move faster then even a Meara (God horse, aka Shadowfax)." All the Hobbits look at the horses in awe.

"Sooner we get to Bree, the sooner we can begin our stealthy move to Rivendell!" Legolas calls out to the Hobbits who nod in understanding.

- Bree - One Hour Later -

Slowing my steeds to a stop just out of the door into Bree. I dismount Chestnut and the Hobbits look at me in confusion. Wondering why we're not just going up to the gates. "Our mission requires stealth. The less people know that we're here the netter." I explain to the Hobbits who nod in understanding. "I shall go collect Strider our guide from the tavern, you all remain on the horses off the path. When I find him they will walk to the towns exit for you."

"Be careful my love." Legolas leans down and gives me a kiss and I smirk at him. I move to Kili and he kisses me as well with a smile.

"Why do we need this Strider guy?" Frodo asks me in confusion, brows furrowed.

"We need to go off road to make sure the Wraiths can't follow on their horses. I'm not sure where they are at the moment so we need to be stealthy. Strider knows the woods like the back of his hand since he is a Ranger.. I'll be right back." Nodding to them I quickly walk a good ways to the gate surrounding Bree. Dressed in elvish clothes which makes me huff. Wanting to be in my armor, but we need secrecy.

Knocking on the door the peephole opens and a grumpy old man looks through it and at me. "An elf?" He says in confusion. "What do you be wanting in Bree?"

"I seek a friend of mine within the tavern sir." I smile to him and he nods his head, opening the door with a click. I step through easily and bow my head to him, quickly making my way towards the inn. Walking with grace and poise.. aka acting like Arwen.

Walking inside the tavern I see a few people about, day drinkers at the bar drowning themselves in ale. I search the corners of the room and see Aragorn smoking his pipe in the corner. Being an edgy dude and sitting in darkness. I slide through the crowd with ease and make my way towards him. "Strider?" I say with a brow raise, he looks to me from under his hood.

"That is me, yes..." He looks to me with a glint of recognition in his eyes. Remembering me from the wedding and when we met when I was with the dwarves in Rivendell when he was younger.

"Gandalf the Grey told me to meet you here for an escort?" I say with a tilt of my head and he nods, puffing on his pipe.

"Where are your companions? He told me there would be hobbits." He stands up and I gulp nervously at how hot he is.. all mysterious and shit. Arwen is a lucky woman.

"They are waiting just outside Bree with my husband's." I explain and he nods with a grunt.

"Alright. Let me gather my things, meet me outside." He walks to the bar and drops a coin purse on it to pay for his stay before returning to his room. I sigh softly and walk outside the inn, leaning against the wall of the tavern. Mentally excited beyond belief that I was in the Prancing Pony!! I've always wanted to come here but I've been busy with the kids and other affairs between Erebor, Greenwood and Moria.

Mentally I close my eyes and sense around my horses, feeling that all of the Hobbits and my husband's are still mounted on them. I command the horses to move on the outside of the city towards the way we will be going. Just as I'm finished Aragorn exits the inn. "Alright, bring me to your companions." Strider looks to me. Nodding my head I lead him towards the exit on the other side of town.

The gateman opens the door for us and we step outside, walking towards the treeline we find my husband's and very confused hobbits. "You're going to need to lose the.. horses." Aragorn looks to me with a furrowed brow. "They may be made of plants but they will still make too much noise. It is better to go on foot for a good while, although it will take longer." He explains and I sigh while nodding my head.

The Hobbits and my husband's dismount easily. "Grab what you absolutely need. I'll send the horses ahead of us on the roads to Rivendell." I explain while grabbing my sword and bandolier of seeds off of Chestnut. Equipping my Smaug armor once more, having added modifications to it. A layer of plants and seeds are scattered around the armor making it easy for me to use it like I would my Ram armor.

Sam grabs his huge pack with a smile, putting it on with ease. Frodo grabs his cloak and his smaller pack compared to Sam's. Merry and Pippin wear two tiny packs filled with clothes since I promised to feed them. My husbands load their bodies up with their weapons and dried food, looking to me they smile. "Alright." With a mental command the horses sprint off towards Rivendell.

"Let us begin." Aragorn smirks, walking off the road right away. Legolas effortlessly follows him, the Hobbits have some difficulty but me and Kili help them up the hillside. I remain at the rear to catch them if they trip and fall. Creating cleats with thick roots so I don't slide back down.

"How long is it gonna take us to get to Rivendell?" Frodo asks as we crest the first small hill, leading into the thick woods.

"It will take us a week or so on foot.." Aragorn says calmly as he leads the way through the trees.

"I have one of my plants outside Bag End keeping watch for the Wraiths. They will stop their first." I explain to Frodo who nods his head with a frown.

"Wait- what about my parents???" Sam asks with wide eyes filled with fear.

"Do not worry Samwise, they're not sleeping inside Bag End so they have nothing to worry about." I comfort him with a warm smile, patting his back gently. He sighs loudly with worry mixed with slight relief.

After a few minutes of silent walking. "I'm hungry." Pippin says with a huff. "It's time for Luncheon, can we stop and eat?" He looks to me and Aragorn with a growing smile.

"No time for stopping Pip, here." A branch lowers down form it's tree and produces a juicy apple, his eyes glitter and he plucks it. A different fruit quickly grows in its place and he plucks it again.

"I love you." He days to me with a grin, I chuckle softly. My husband's rolling their eyes at the Hobbits. We all wait a moment, letting the Hobbits pick their fill before we move on.

"Where shall we stop for shelter?" Sam walks up beside me and asks us with furrowed brows. Concerned about how we will sleep in the wilds, he's used to sleeping on a bed so he's unaccustomed to sleeping outside.

"We will sleep in the trees, we shall sleep within the branches. I will create hammocks using the very trees for us all to sleep in with warming moss blankets, my plants shall keep watch during the night so we may all rest. If the Wraiths should come they won't be able to reach us. Rest easy Samwise." I rest my hand on his arm with a smile.

"I just worry is all.." He smiles nervously, a light blush on his cheeks.

"I know, it just means you care." Patting the Hobbit on the head with a smirk.

- Two Days Later -

Laying in a hammock among a small cluster of them, I stare at the stars with a sigh. Only to feel a twinge in my head, Flower communicating with me. "The Wraiths are in Hobbiton." I declare with a furrowed brow, watching through Flowey's eyes as he spies on the unsuspecting undead. "Flowey reports that they're ransacking the house in search of the ring. Because Frodo hasn't worn it yet it hasn't sent out a signal."

"A signal?" Frodo asks in confusion.

"Everytime you wear the ring, I suspect it sends out a pulse. Giving the wraiths your location.." Frodo blanches at that information.

"Are my family okay?" Sam leans over his hammock and looks up to me, asking with furrowed brows filled with concern.

"Yes, Flowey says that they're just focusing on Bag End. Wait! They're leaving Bag End.. they found a hobbit on the road.. they're questioning him with shrieks.." Closing my eyes I watch the altercation through the small yellow flowers eyes. "He said that Frodo and Bilbo left on adventures. Last he heard we were in Bree...." I watch as the wraiths scream in rage and stab the Hobbit clean through with their blades. Dumping him before mounting up on their horses and riding away. "They uhm... They stabbed the Hobbit and are mounting their horses."

"Oh no!" Merry says with fear in his gaze. Flowey bursts from the ground next to the mortally wounded Hobbit who's barely holding on, forcing a vine in his mouth. Flowey gushes 'The Big Guns' into his throat while also slathering it all over his abdomen. Watching as it slowly knits back together thanks to the Senzu Beans and healing herbs.

"Don't worry, Flowey is on it. He's giving him medicine to heal his wound while the Wraiths are busy. He's going to follow them closely.. they're leaving the Shire and heading off to Bree it seems." I open my eyes and look to Aragorn, seeing his face in a scowl.

"Your.. flower can remain unseen?" Aragorn asks me with concern in his gaze.

"Who suspects a flower to be listening in or following you?" I grin to Aragorn and he chuckles, shaking his head in amusement.

"Worry not, if that flower can kill Azog the defiler and his spawn. He can handle the wraiths." Legolas boasts with a proud grin, holding me in his arms.

"Aye, besides their morgul blades won't effect Flowey" Kili adds on from beside me.

"Can you create new horses for us Rosebud?" I raise a brow at this, looking up at my husband. "I believe we should speed up towards Rivendell now that we know where the Wraiths are." Legolas says, looking up to Aragorn who hums in agreement.

"I agree Mellon." He says Legolas before looking to me. "It would be best if we sped up the pace."

"Alright, If we get out of bed now I can create horses that will allow us to sleep through the night while we all lay inside them." I offer to the group with a sigh, snuggling into Kili who kisses the top of my head with a smile.

"Yes, that is best." Aragorn nods. "Lower us to the ground please." Nodding my head, the branches holding us up slowly move us towards the ground.

Legolas gets out of the hammock first, helping me by offering me a hand while Kili steadies the hammock. Giving my husband a kiss with a smile I reach into a pouch on my chest and toss seeds out, creating six normal sized horses and one large one for us all to sleep in.

Everyone gets out of their hammocks and walk over to the horses. The larger steed crouch down and open their chests to the Hobbits whose eyes widen. Pippin is the first to jump in on the soft mossy bedding inside the horse. "Oh.. I could get used ta this!" He says with a laugh. It stands back up and holds still. Letting the Hobbit get comfortable and adjusts his puffball mushroom pillow. A blanket of moss moves over his body and he grins happily. "This is adventuring in style!" He chuckles snuggling in with a smile.

Merry grins with excitement and rushes to his own horse. Climbing in with enthusiasm before it can even lower itself down. Sam huffs out with a shake of his head. Helping Frodo climb into his horse before getting into his own. The horse grabs their packs and stows it outside for them. Sam lays down and tries to get comfortable.

I make sure everyone is inside and laying down before I enter my own horse with my husband's. Legolas let's me slide in the middle, wrapping the moss blanket around me with a smile. I snuggle into Kili while Legolas holds me from behind, giving the top of my head a kiss. Giving the horses a mental command they turn and begin to trot before galloping full speed. The way the branches move creates minimal movement for the person laying down. Like if you hold a chicken and move it around, it's head stays in place.

- One Day Later - Rivendell -

Trotting to the gates of Rivendell, the guards eyes widen and they blow their horns announcing our arrival. Aragorn leads the group towards the stables, everyone dismounts and looks around. "Lindir!" Aragorn calls out with a smile to his friend. "Can you tell my father that we have arrived safely?" Aragorn speaks Sindarin to the elf.

"He is already aware of your arrival. He has already made up rooms for you and your guests." Lindir looks to the awe struck hobbits. "Prince Legolas, it is a pleasure to have you here. Mae' Govennen."

"Thank you for your welcome Lindir." Legolas smiles warmly, bowing back to him.

I step up beside my husband and look to the brown haired elf. "Have any Envoys arrived for the Council yet?" I ask him and he shakes his head no.

"No, only Prince Legolas, Mithrandir and yourself my lady. I don't suspect any will arrive until next week." He says with a soft sigh.

"Dangit.. okay." I bite my lip and begin to worry it, Kili grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. Reassuring me that it's gonna be okay.

"Lord Elrond has prepared rooms for the Hobbits, next to Bilbo Baggins." He bows his head to me. "Allow me to lead you all to your rooms." Lindir begins to walk slowly as the Hobbits and I begin to follow.

Chapter Text

Written: November 17th, 2024

-  Few Days Later  -

The Hobbits are having a blast. I've taken them to Rivendell's markets so they may see and taste Elven foods and goods. Buying them whatever they want on my coin. I each got them a short sword aka a huge knife as well as custom ordered some leather and chainmail armor for them. They all thanked me profusely but I waved them off. "Miss Ellen, you don't need to be doings all this." Sam says with a furrowed brow. Thinking he's taking advantage of me.

"Sam, I have enough coin to buy all of Hobbiton if I so choose." I admit with a smile. Balin gives me coin every month since he made me a 'Lord/Lady of Moria'. I tried telling him I didn't need it because Kili hasn't even scratched the surface of his money he got from Erebor. Not to mention Legolas is loaded.. But Balin had nothing of it. I killed a Balrog for them, he says it's 'the least he can do'.

"How do you have so much money, Ellen?" Frodo asks me with curiosity as Sam and Pippin buy some huge cream puff pastries from an elf woman.

"I'm a Lord of a kingdom." I admit with a grimace. "I liberated it from a Balrog and made my friend the Leader, but he made me a Lord as thanks. He pays me every month because my plants defend the kingdom from any outside forces." Not to mention the Goblins, Orcs and trolls that are still under the Blights effects.. Because of the mushrooms inside their systems, the mushrooms are keeping the bodies alive and in working order. Each time Moria is attacked by Orcs stupid enough to try and claim it again.. Well, let's just say Balin gets more troops for his army.

"Princess!" Turning my head towards the voice I see Lindir walk towards me with a fast but graceful pace.

"Yes Lindir?" I turn and give the elf my full attention.

"The last of the envoys have arrived. The meeting shall be held within the hour." He says with a sigh, resting his hands in front of himself.

"Alright.. Thank you Lindir, I'll start heading back." I turn to look at the Hobbits, especially the ones stuffing their faces with creamy pastries. They look like they're rabid because of the amount of cream. "Come on guys, we've got the meeting to attend to." All the Hobbits nod and follow after me.

-  Council  -

Walking into the council room with Frodo at my side, I usher the others to hide in the bushes. I control them to offer more coverage so the elves won't see them. Stepping into the room all eyes look to me, the humans look in confusion as to why a woman is here. I see Legolas standing with some elves that arrived from Lothlorien. Since he's the representative of Greenwood. Kili sits with Gloin and Gimli who once he notices me he waves at me with enthusiasm. Surprised and happy to see his Aunty Ellen here. He may be a grown man in dwarf terms, but he's still 'my wee gimli'. I giggle and bow my head to him in aknowledgement.

Sitting down beside Frodo, I rest my hand on his shoulder giving him a reassuring squeeze. Elrond looks around the room and sees that everyone has arrived. He nods his head to himself, stepping forward. "Strangers from distant lands and friends of old. You have been all been summoned here to answer the to threat of Mordor." Elrond speaks loudly and everyone's heads snap to him. Paying attention. "Middle-Earth stands upon the brink of destruction... None of us can escape it. We unite or we will fall." I see some dwarves glare at the elves with distain. Envoys from the Iron Hills and the Blue Mountains. The Moria and Erebor dwarves look like they don't care. They've gotten along great with Greenwoods elves thanks to Legolas and my marriage. "Each race is bound to this fate.. this one doom." Elrond looks to Frodo and gesture towards the pedestal. "The ring, Frodo."

Frodo gulps nervously but stands up and removes the ring from the vine necklace around his neck. Setting it down on the pedestal, the vines pull away and rest. He moves back to his seat and sits down, playing with his hands nervously. I look to the humans in the room.. and I'm not surprised at all when Boromir talks. "So it is true..." it's been a long ass time since I say LOTR but I remember most of it because of my elf brain.. and who the fuck could forget the plot of Lord of the rings???

'Druid.....' Snapping my head up I look around in confusion, hearing a whisper in my ears. 'Join me..' using my knuckle I dig into my ear with a scowl. Shaking it off as me accidentally unfocusing from the conversation and mishearing what someone says. My brain is.. weird. I need complete silence to understand a person, but if there's noise in the background? Like someone else talking? All I hear is.. someone smashing their head on a keyboard, or a cat walking across a keyboard. Nonsense.

Boromir walks towards the pedestal with a lidded gaze. No doubt falling victim to Sauron's whispers. Weak willed bitch. "In a dream, I saw the eastern sky grow dark. But in the West a pale light lingered. A voice was crying: 'Your doom is near at hand. Isildur's Bane is found'." Boromir reaches for the ring, the vine necklace resting beside it whips across his knuckles, he pulls back with a hiss and a look of confusion. "What sorcery-"

"No touching the evil ring, you dumb ass." I state with a glare to Boromir, he leers at me as he holds his hand. "Only an idiot wants to use a ring with a fucking Horcrux in it." I gesture to the ring wildly.

"Horcrux?" I hear one of the human men mention in confusion.

"Its an word for an object that holds a shard of a soul. Sauron has a fraction of his soul inside of that fucking ring." Leaning forward I rest my elbows on my knees. "That's how he's not dead already. He's been hiding like a little bitch in a wraith form, the ring is the only thing anchoring his soul to this plane. He's like a fucking ingrown hair." I huff out while rolling my eyes, Gimli barks out a laugh at that. Kili has to cover his mouth to stop himself from joining him. Legolas smiles slightly but closes his eyes and tries not to laugh. "Besides does anyone have proof that the ring is a weapon?? Every one of you wants to use the ring, but do you even know what it fucking does?" I ask with a glare to all of them.

"How would you know what it does, woman?" Boromir growls as he steps forward. "How do you know it is not a weapon?! And why is an elf witch within this war counsel?!" He looks to Elrond who closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Not wanting to death with humans and there sexism. Viewing my their woman as property and not persons.

"She is no mere maiden Boromir son of Denethor. She is a Druid, the hand of the Valar!" Gandalf states while smacking his staff down on the ground. The elves who didn't know already begun to whisper. The humans look alarmed thinking me a witch. "She hails from another realm entirely and holds information that will save us all from destruction! The Ring is altogether evil! Only Sauron can control it!" He slams his staff down again with a glare aimed at the idiot.

"It is a gift. A gift to use against the foes of Mordor!" Boromir states as he stomps forward, crazed eyes leering at Gandalf. "Why not use this Ring?" Boromir begins to pace around the pedestal, my vines poised and ready to whip him should he get close. "Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor, kept the forces of Mordor at bay. By the blood of our people are your lands kept safe! Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against him!"

"As the Druid has said, you cannot wield it! We know not if it is a weapon at all!" Aragorn states loudly, Boromir looks to him with a glare. "None of us can, we have no power over it. The One Ring only answers to Sauron alone, it has no other master."

"And what would a ranger know of this matter?" Boromir sneers to Aragorn. Ok, low-key wanna stab Boromir. I hate him.

"Oh for the love of MAHAL!"  I say loudly throwing my head back with a loud groan, throwing my hands in the air. Gimli chuckles with amusement. The Lothlorien elves are confused why I, an elf in their eyes, called Aule, Mahal his dwarven name. "That is Aragorn, son of Arathorn and Isildur's heir you ABSOLUTE TROGLODYTE! The rightful King of Gondor! Your father has just been warming his fucking seat!"

Boromir scoffs at this, glaring at me. "Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king." Boromir says with a growl, returning to his seat reluctantly.

"Says the man who's society is failing because your people have no one they can rally behind." I mumble under my breath. Boromir heard this and snaps his head to me to retort.

Gandalf brings the conversation back to the important part like a saint. "Aragorn and Ellen are right. We cannot use it... Ellen, may you explain what the ring does? You have information on the matter from your experience in the other land." Gandalf looks to me with a warm smile.

"For any regular person it just turns them invisible, but you can still be heard or even smelt by others.. It also allows translation of Black Speech or even the language of the spiders within Greenwood." I explain and everyone looks to me. "But for Sauron and Sauron alone." I give a pointed look to Boromir. "it allows him to control those who wear the other rings of power.. he dominates their wills and augments his own power using it. The ring also radiates a sort of.. evil presence, it's constantly attacking your mind. It wants you to take it and wear it. But should you wear it.. it sends out a beacon to the Ring Wraiths who will hunt you down to bring it to their master. Now that he is finally powered up enough to take the ring back. The reason he hasn't taken it until now was because he only recently resurrected his wraiths, they were only ghostly apparitions and hadn't gained physical form."

"How did you come by this information?" Aragorn asks with a squint of confusion. Boromir squints at me with suspicion. I groan at the fact I have to explain shit again, Gandalf saves me from my fate.

"Ellen hails from another world. Where ours is a story, she has seen everything from an outsiders point of view." Gandalf explains to everyone and their eyes widen in shock. Boromir leans back in his seat as he looks at me with wide eyes.

"The Valar got ahold of my soul and turned me into their hand when they found out what I knew of.. The ring needs to be destroyed in order to end the evil taint of Morgoth once and for all. Once the ring is gone I can begin the purification of all of Arda. Cleansing it off Morgoth's taint. My true mission. I can't leave for the Undying Lands until it is done." I say with a sigh.

"Then what are we waiting for?" Gimli says, grabbing his axe he goes to swing it down on the ring but I stop him with a vine hanging above us. It latches onto his axe and pulls it out of his grip. "Eh? Aunty Ellen??" Gimli looks to me in confusion then to his axe that's held in the air.

"The Ring cannot be destroyed, Gimli, son of Glóin, by any craft that we here possess. The Ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came." Elrond steps forward and explains, looking to everyone. Gimli sighs loudly, crossing his arms with a huff. I return his axe to him and he puts it back on his back holster.

'Ellen...' Another whisper fills my ear, I look around in confusion. 'Join me.... become my queen...' "The fuck..?" I say softly while squinting, using my knuckle to dig into my ear again. 'rule by my side...' Glaring at the ring with aggravation. "Shut the fuck up Sauron." I grumble under my breath.

"One of you must do this.. you must take the ring to Mordor and cast it into the fire of mount doom..." I sit forward eagerly and look to Boromir with excitement. I'VE BEEN WAITING OVER FOURTY FUCKING YEARS FOR THIS!!!!!!!!

"One does not simply walk into Mordor!" HE SAID THE LINEEE! I giggle with glee, my husband's looking at me in confusion with small smiles. "Its black gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep. And the great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust. The very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly!" Don't need 10k men when you've got me.

"Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond and my wife have said? The Ring must be destroyed!" Legolas stands up from his seat looking to Boromir, shaking his head in disbelief.

"And I suppose you think you're the one to do it, Uncle?!" Gimli puffs up his chest and glares at him.  Thinking Legolas wants to go off without me. Gimli and Legolas have gotten along well after a while. "I'd rather eat Milli's disgusting concoctions then let you take the ring without me Uncle Legolas!" Gimli barks out with hands on his hips.

"And if we fail, what then?! What happens when Sauron takes back what is his?!" Boromir shouts out.

"Do you not understand that while we bicker amongst ourselves, Sauron's power grows?! None can escape it! You'll all be destroyed!" Gandalf yells out to everyone, I sigh and lean back. Shaking my head in disappointment.

"And we let men rule us.." I whisper to Frodo who chuckles softly, a smile growing on his face. He relaxes slightly next to me. The ring begins to glow and I glare at it. 'join me.. and I will.. be... Your... Slave...' I scoff at the thought entering my mind. Copying Jereth, Sauron? You'll never be David Bowie in skintight leather pants sexy. I notice the ring glows even more in rage that he can't seduce me. "You ready Frodo?" I look to him and he takes a deep breath.

"Yes Ellen.. I'm ready to fulfill my destiny.." Frodo gets off his chair and steps forward. Putting my fingers in my mouth like Legolas taught me I whistle loudly, everyone looks to me. "I will take it!" Frodo says loudly with a look of determination on his face. The room goes silent and Gandalf frowns, knowing this was inevitable but saddened the hobbit has to do this. Everyone looks at Frodo with astonishment. "Ellen has said that I will take the Ring to Mordor... It has been written that I lead it to its destruction... Though.." Frodo grimaces. "I do not know the way to Mordor..?" He admits with a nervous chuckle.

Gandalf chuckles softly with a smile on his face. "I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, as long as it is yours to bear." Gandalf pats Frodo's shoulders, the Hobbit looks up to him with a smile on his face.

Aragorn rises next with a look of determination. "If by my life or death, I can protect you, I will." He walks to Frodo and kneels down in front of him. "You have my sword.

"And you have our bows." Legolas smiles to Frodo, wrapping his arm around a grinning Kili.

"And my axe!" Gimli stands and holds his axe up with a grin. Gloin smiles at his son with pride, knowing I will protect him.

"You have my plants at your disposal Frodo, I will assure that we will sleep safe and have enough food in our bellies." I stand up and smile to Frodo.

Boromir walks over with a scowl on his face. "You carry the fate of us all little one. If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done." I look to the bush and gesture forward with my head.

"Oi!" Sam jumps from the bushes, adjusting his clothes. "Mister Frodo is not goin' anywhere without me!" He crosses his arms while sniffing.

Pippin and Merry emerge from the bush as well. "Wait! We are coming too!" Pippin says with a smile.

"Aye! We were promised food on this venture!" Merry adds on with a laugh. "And to help Mr. Frodo!" He adds on with a shrug of indifference and I snort out a laugh.

"Anyway you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission, quest... thing." Pippin looks to his friend while adjusting his suspenders.

"Well that rules you out Pip." Merry mumbles under his breath, the Hobbit snacks him upside the head. "Ouch!" Merry holds onto his head with a pout.

"Eleven companions... So be it! You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring!" Elrond states with a solemn nod of his head.

"Great! Let's all rest up for one more day, check over all our weapons. Do what you need. We'll set off the following morning!" I exclaim with a smile, standing up from where I'm sitting. Using a vine to return the ring to Frodo for safe keeping.

Chapter Text

Written: November 17th, 2024

-  Day After  -

Everyone wishes us fair well as we scale the road out of Rivendell. Plant horses carrying all of our necessary supplies within them... Yet again Aragorn thinks by foot is the better way, less noisy.

Gandalf pulls his pipe out of his staff and stuffs it full of pipe weed. "So my dear, what is our path?" Gandalf asks me while putting his pipe into his mouth and lighting it with his finger.

"Aye, I would like to know as well." Aragorn slows down and walks beside me, looking to me for guidance since he will basically be leading us.

"Well, in the stories.. you go for the pass, but Saruman is using Crow like birds to find and follow us." I explain to him while walking over a rock.

"Hm.." Gandalf hums along as he puffs his pipe, blowing smoke rings as he exhales.

"Then you go over Caradhras mountain and he tries to bring the mountain down on you via an avalanche, so you're forced to turn around.. with no other safe path, you go to Moria." I sigh softly, remembering the scene. The poor hobbits.. it's a wonder that they didn't get frostbite on their feet in the stories.

"With the unslain Balrog?" He adds with a raised brow, exhaling smoke from his nose that turns into a butterfly.

"Yes, that is where you were meant to fall." I nod my head to him and he frowns. "That's why I had to kill it, to make it easier for us now."

"Gandalf dies?" Aragorn says with alarm, stepping forward towards us.

"I already have my dear boy." Gandalf whispers to him before he chuckles softly. "I am no longer Gandalf the Grey. I am Gandalf the White." Aragorn's eyes widen at this information.

"It happened when we killed the Balrog over 40 years ago. The balrog got one hit of his sword on Gandalf.. but it was enough. I finished it off and collected his stuff. He came back a year later." I shrug while Aragorn looks baffled that his friend has already died once. "Once you leave Moria in the stories you head to Lothlorien and down the river... Where the party separates." Pushing the hair out of my face, feeling sweat collect on my brow.

"What happens my dear?" Gandalf's leans in and asks me with a whisper, Aragorn leans in as well. Wanting to know what we encounter that forces us to separate.

"Boromir loses his will and tries to steal the ring from Frodo." Aragorn's jaw clenches at this information, clenching his fists at his sides. "Frodo leaves with Sam, they head off with Gollum as their guide."

"Gollum..?" Aragorn asks in confusion, not knowing who or what that is. Since we haven't encountered him.. yet.

"He's the one that has had the ring for the longest time after Saurons fall... he killed his own brother for it when they found it in a river. His real name is Sméagol and he was a Hobbit. Fucker gave me nightmares when I was allowed to watch the movie as a kid." I shiver in disgust at the memories, the fear I felt of the dark. Thinking that disgusting creatures was hidden behind the walls watching me. Waiting for me to fall asleep so he could attack me to steal a ring I didn't have. "I couldn't bathe by myself for months because I thought Gollum was always behind the curtains when I showered!" Legolas laughs loudly when he hears me, I turn and give him a glare. Smacking him on the ass with a branch, that shuts him up.

"Do you have a plan to keep them safe my dear?" Gandalf asks me with twinkling eyes, knowing that I must have planned ahead. He knows I like to be prepared for EVERY situation.

"Gandalf, it's me we're talking about here, of course I have a plan." I smirk at him with pride. "Once the party separates I'm going to have my son Flowey watch over them. When he can no longer follow along the rocky terrain, a new creature I haven't made yet will follow them named Fern- OH that reminds me! FRODO! SAM!" Stopping I wait for the Hobbits to approach, Boromir squints at me as he walks up from the rear.

"Yes Miss Ellen?" Sam asks with a raised brow. Crouching down I pluck two blades of grass from the ground, watching as they grow in my hand like snakes. I pull the Hobbits forward, holding the blades of grass to their wrists them.. the blades wrap around them and fit snugly. "Uh..? Thank... You...?" Sam says while looking at me perplexed.

"Say 'Sword' and think of the word. You will have to train the blade to recognize your brain waves." Sam looks at me in confusion.

"Sword-" the blade of grass transforms in his hand into a grass sword. That's right. Fucking Finns grass sword! "Bloody hell!" He goes to thrash about but I grab his arm and stop him.

"Careful! It can cut anything!" I explain to him and he looks at me scared. "Use it to defend yourself. You two must remember. CONSTANT. VIGILANCE!" I give them a pointed look, completely serious about what I mean. "Even if things seem quiet and peaceful, it's not. Remain vigilant, never leave a spot open. You especially Frodo." My mind goes to Shelob and I shiver in disgust. That scene gave me nightmares as well. "You two will practice with Boromir, Kili, Aragorn and Legolas when we have free time. Using training swords, I want you to be able to defend yourselves." I say and Frodo smiles at me with thanks.

"Miss Ellen.. I don't think I could kill something.." Sam says nervously. He's never had to hunt in Bag End, there were already other Hobbits who did that. All he had to do was skin and gut things most of the time.

"Sam, this is war." I say point blank, the light in my eyes dulling slightly. I take a deep breath and wrangle my thoughts. "Think of it this way, this is how I cope with killing Orcs and the like.. If I left them be, how many woman and children would they torture, rape or kill? Or all of the above?" The Hobbits faces blanch at this, having not thought about the Orcs doing.. that. "If the answer is one? You have justification to kill them. Feel no remorse. These things don't care about others. They are beasts created by a force of pure evil."

"I.. okay miss Ellen.." Sam nods his head, looking down deep in thought. The grass blade returning to its bangle form around his wrist, not sending any danger.

"You didn't need to be so harsh on the little folk!" Boromir says to me with a pointed glare. This fucker, I swear to GOD. I am so tempted to let him die just to be rid of him.

"This is war. You kill or be killed, you should know this better then anyone since you're Captain of the Guard." I glare back at Boromir. "I have personally seen what these Orcs and Goblins do to the women they find. They use them as breeding cows until they die form their brutality or birthing the foul creatures!! Or they simply lose all hope to live and wither away to stop the torment!" I clench my fists at my sides, breathing heavily at what I saw in the Goblins point of view in Moria... The dead women in the cells.. "They need to know how dark the world is right now, now that they're out of the Shire. Once this shit is over with, I can make all of Arda as peaceful as the Shire. But for now it is a shit show." I breath heavily out of my nose, handing each of the Hobbits Japanese grapes to munch on using the mushroom in my sleeves to grow it.

Kili and Legolas walks up to me with concern on their faces. "It's okay my love. Forget that fool, you were right in telling them." Legolas says to me, wrapping his arm around me and kissing my forehead.

"Aye, it's important they know. They can better defend themselves against the darkness." Kili nods in agreement, holding my hand in his. Giving it a gentle squeeze while smiling at me.

"Thank you boys.." I smile to them warmly. "I believe our path is we head to the Mines of Moria. Then we venture to Lothlorien." I say loudly so everyone can hear me. Looking at the Hobbits happily eating the endless amount of sweet juicy grapes I gave them. The fruit regrowing as they pluck them.

"I see, alright my dear. Shall we ride there or we walk?" Gandalf asks me with a raised brow.

"I believe we should continue to remain stealthy. Horses will draw too much attention to us all." Aragorn says to us, pushing past some branches. Holding them so we may all walk under them.

"We remain in the forests, I can cover us from the Crebain Saruman has sent to search for us." I say with a nod.

"Your abilities will make this journey all the more easier, Ellen." Aragorn says with a smile towards me.

"It's my duty given to me by the Valar. All I know is, I'm gonna have one hell of a vacation after all this." I snort out a laugh and he chuckles.

-  Later  -  Night  -

"Where shall we sleep?" Boromir asks Aragorn with a furrowed brow.  It seeing any clear area to set up camp especially since it's getting dark.

"We sleep in the trees my dear human." I say with a grin, Boromir squints at me in confusion. The rest of the party smiles, used to sleeping in hammocks by now. "Sam? You wanna cook dinner tonight?" I ask him with a small warm smile.

"Yes! I can get a fire started right away-" he rushes over to the plant horse and grabs his backpack from it. Beginning to rummage through it for his flint and tinder to start the fire.

"No need." Holding my arm towards the ground once we find a good spot. My mushroom hidden in my sleeve shoots spores towards the ground, I grow a fire flower that smiles at us. "We used this lil buddy in Greenwood when it was still dark. Any form of light back then attracted a swarm of fell bugs that attacked us. We will only be able to see ourselves in the darkness. It emits low light, no smoke but cooks like a campfire." I explain to the Hobbit.

Sam's eyes widen and he leans forward. Holding a hand over the flower to feel how much heat it's putting out. "Blimey! It's as hot as a fully stoked fire!" He says to everyone and I smile. "I can use this! Lemme make a nice hearty stew for dinner!" He says with an excited laugh. Grabbing his pot from the side of his pack, he walks over and sets it down gently on the flower. Thick vines reach up and reinforce the plant, he smiles at this and goes to fetch some water for the stew base.

Grabbing some seeds from my bandolier, I toss them about and create mushroom stools for everyone to sit on. "Thank you my dear." Gandalf smiles to me, sitting down on the softest mushroom. A puffball in the sporeing stage, but it won't burst so it creates a nice soft seat.

"No problem Gandalf. Any time." I smile to him back, everyone sits down to rest. Holding my hands up, my eyes glow green with power. The branches above us multiply quickly, interwoven in between each other. Creating a canopy that will keep us hidden, I create hammocks for everyone and lower them down so they may lay inside when they're ready.

Boromir stands and looks at the hammock with scrutiny. "Will this even be able to hold us?" He asks with a scoff.

"If it can hold two elves and a Dwelf all in one hammock. Yes it can hold you." Kili says while sharpening the blade he used to help chop down foliage idly, a calming ritual he does at night when out in the wilderness.

"The horses will shrink down and camouflage as bushes when we sleep..." I tap my lip in thought, thinking that I'm forgetting something. "Ah! I should make the night guard." I say to myself with a nod in agreement, tossing some seeds out. They all converge onto one another, growing swiftly into a thick patch of grass... That sits up.

It's eyes open, glowing a dim green. Boromir startles and holds his hand on his sword. "Whoa.. being alive is so weird.." the grass Hobbit says with a squint, touching his body with curiosity. "What am I?" He asks with a furrowed grassy brow.

"You my dear are Fern. My son." I step up to the grass Hobbit who looks up and blinks at me.

"Fern... I like this name." He smiles at me and holds a hand out, I help him up easily. "What is my duty..? What was i made for?" He asks me with confusion, letting go of my hand. Letting his arms dangle at his sides while he looks around.

"Your job is to make sure we're safe at night. Remain hidden and protect us from Orcs, Goblins, Trolls and Ring Wraiths." I explain to my newest child who nods slowly as I speak. Pippin, Merry and Frodo all look at him with curiosity. Sam stares at him with a furrowed brow while he cooks tue stew.

"Ah! I'm a warrior!" He smiles with excitement, nodding his head with enthusiasm of a child.

"Yes, my husband's will teach you how to fight tomorrow. But for tonight, just.. slash around with a sword." He looks down at the blade at my side, one appears on his side instantly but made of grass.

"Hm. Hm. I see." He holds a hand to his chin and nods. "I shall patrol!" He salutes to me before walking off into the darkness.

"You create life from nothing?" Boromir asks me with slight fear in his voice.

"From a seed." I roll my eyes, Sam watches the entire altercation from his mushroom where he's stirring the stew in the pot. "Its no different then any child. He's just made of plants instead of flesh."

"You are a witch! Using dark magic to bend the world to your whims." He growls, sitting down on a rock.

"Are you calling Yavanna, dark?" I ask him with a deep voice filled with anger. "She and Estë gifted me these abilities. If anything I'm as light as they come! Get over your fear of the unknown. It's ignorant!" Boromir grits his teeth but remains silent.

"How dare he say that Lady Yavanna is dark." Sam says with a scowl, serving him mostly broth as a sign of protest. I walk over to him and sit down with the Hobbits.

"Don't listen to him. Humans fear what they can't understand. And they don't even try to understand, their mentality is shoot and ask questions later... I should know, in the other world I was a human." I say with a long drawn out sigh.

"You were human?" Frodo asks me with curiosity.

"Aye!" Legolas chuckles when he hears our conversation. "She thought she was human here as well! It took another person to tell her before she realized! It was months!"

"Shaddap!" I glare at him playfully, smacking his ass with a branch. He yelps out, red rushing to his ear tips. "Who checks their ears when after they fall off a cliff and die??? I was more focused on surviving!"

"You died?" Pippin asks me as Sam serves him a bowl of stew. Handing me one as well with a smile. I dig in happily and do a little dance on my stool.

"Yup. I went hiking and encountered a baby moose-"

"What's a moose?" Merry asks in confusion, brows furrowed.

"Like an elk-"

"What's an Elk?" Pippin asks just as confused as Merry.

"An elk is like a deer but larger and with longer antlers. And an elk is like a moose except it's even bigger and it has shovel or bowl like antlers." I explain to them with a sigh and they all nod in understanding.

"Cawwy on!" Merry says with a mouth full of stew, chewing loudly on some bread.

I roll my eyes at them, a smile on my face. "I encountered a baby moose, I knew Mama wasn't far behind. I tried to walk backwards and shoo it off.. but the baby came right towards me. Its known that Moose aren't afraid of people. Moose don't care about anything.. Well, mama rushed from the trees and rammed me with her antlers, lifting me in the air." Sam gasps with wide eyes. "I tried my hardest to cling onto her, knowing I was dead if I let go. She would have most likely stomped me to death like they do with wolves.." I sigh softly drinking some of the broth from the stew. "I lost my grip and she flung me off the side of a cliff. The trees were still young so I had nothing to slow me down.. and I landed on something hard I assume because it goes black. Then I wake up in Arda." I take a bite of the bread after dipping it into the stew.

"What did you do?" Frodo asks as he eats, everyone listening in. Aragorn leaning forward as he chews his food.

"Well, I checked myself first, all I had was aches and pains which didn't make any sense. I should have at LEAST had a broken bone or two... I was in an area that mimicked where I fell, but it was reversed.." I say with a sigh, drinking some more broth.

"Reversed?" Aragorn asks with a furrowed brow.

"Mhm everything was on the wrong side. I found a way onto the cliff, and everything looked different, it was night when I realized I was in a whole new world. I may not know a lot of them but the constellations were different. Right then I was in full survival mode. I knew I died from the fall and was sent to another world. It's a common trope in stories in my world." I shrug my shoulders, Sam giving me another spoon full of stew.

"How did you survive? Did you use your powers?" Frodo asks me softly, chewing on his food before swallowing.

"Found water first." I chew on some potato with a hum. "Once that was settled I built a shelter that was camouflaged. I didn't know what threats were in this world. Animal or human. After a while I made a tiny little hut and slept... When I woke up I found flowers on the ground and was confused. That's when I figured out I had powers. I trained them up and made creatures made of plants to help me survive and explore. It was a good while before my son Groot told me of the Dwarves being attacked by Trolls."

"Ugh, don't remind me!" Kili says with a deep groan. "I was lucky I wasn't put on the spit!"

"Dad told me about that! You slaughtered them with huge vines covered in thorns! He said you looked like a powerful woods witch!" Frodo says with excitement in his voice, a happy smile on his face.

"Yup. I recognized the scene from the story, I knew everyone and recognized them. I figured I had to help so I killed the trolls and convinced Thorin to give me a chance using my foreknowledge. Once he found I was legitimate he let me join his company. Contract and all." I smile with pride before finishing off my stew. "All right, I'll continue my story of my adventures tomorrow night okay? Everyone get some sleep. Lay down in the hammocks and pull the moss up and it will rise in the air. Your weapons can he stashed on the side of the hammock for easy access." I clean out the bowl using a goopy type of mushroom, it eats all the leftover matter and returns to my sleeve. Sam looks at it longingly and I sigh, handing it to him. He smiles and uses it to clean the dishes.

Pippin and Merry are the first to hop into their hammocks. Pulling the moss covers up they're pulled into the air. "So bloody cool!" Pippin says with a laugh, still loving sleeping in the air.

Kili lays down first with a smile to me, opening his arms to me. I remove my armor and allow it to take root. Sliding alongside my husband, Legolas joins us with a smirk. Wrapping his arms around me he kisses me, pulling the blanket up we rise into the air. Gandalf is the last to join everyone, making sure that Frodo is alright before laying down himself.

Chapter Text

Written: November 19th, 2024

🔞 - Legolas x Kili and Ellen x Legolas (same time)

- Three Weeks Later -

Approaching the secret stone gates, I sigh softly. Gandalf stands beside me before sitting down on a rock. "Why have we stopped?" Boromir asks with confusion, looking towards me and Gandalf.

"We're taking a rest before we enter the long dark before entering the city of Moria. Hopefully Balin put in those torches like I asked for.." I say with a grumble, walking up to the gateway. "Rest your feet everyone! It's gonna be quite a walk." I call out and the Hobbits sit down with sighs.

Frodo looks at his feet with concern, I walk over and see he has a cut. Crouching down I grab a small tub of 'The Big Guns' from my bandolier and dip my finger into it, slathering it across the cut. The wound heals over quickly. "Thank you Ellen." He smiles to me and I nod to him.

"Love, should we snack on some fruit before we head in?" Kili asks me, wrapping his arm around my waist.

"Yeah, the sugar will be a good energy source until we get into the city.. Ah! I better send Dwalin a message." I crouch down and a small mole pops out of the earth, pulling out a small piece of parchment from one of the pouches on my bandolier. I quickly scratch down a note before handing it to the mole who disappears into the soil. I walk up to a nearby tree and transform it's branches, allowing it to grow different types of fruit. Sam eagerly fills a small sack full of the fruits for us to snack on during our trip.

It's a few minutes of resting until everyone is ready to proceed. "Everyone ready?" I ask them with a raised brow. Pippin and Merry nod, their mouths full of apples. Turning to the stone wall I speak. "Mellon." Gandalf stands up from his position on the stone and walks over to the opening door. The stone doors scrape and creak open, the dim light pours from it.

"Haha! My Uncle Dwalin will feed us good and proper!" Gimli says with a beaming smile on his face. "Think of it, ale and meat as much as you can eat!" Pippin and Merry begin to drool at the thought of ale.

"Hush Gimli." I chastise him with a smile. "Let's head on!" I walk into the doorway, feeling just how light it is in here now that the Balrog is gone. Everyone follows my lead, the doors soon close after Chestnut enters carrying our things. "At least Balin had the light I asked for installed before he passed." I say with a soft sigh, remembering the old dwarf fondly.

"Balin?" Aragorn asks me with curiosity his voice.

"The Lord of Moria. He lead a small army along with me to clear out the mountain and get it hospitable again... The Balrog was a real bitch." I say with a frown etched onto my face. "He passed on about 25 years ago." I say with fondness for the dwarf. "I miss the ole dwarf." I sigh softly.

- Thirty Minutes Later -

"Eh?.. Halt!" A voice comes out in front of us, a dwarf dressed in guard armor stands in the way. "State yer purpose!" He rests his hand on his axe held at his waist, glaring at us through the dim light of torches.

"I am Lady Paige here to see Lord Dwalin." I state loudly and the dwarfs eyes widen.

"Ah! My lady! My apologies." He bows to me, holding a fist over his heart.

"It's no problem, you were simply doing your job." I smile to the dwarf as we approach closer.

"May I ask who yer companions are? For the ledger?" He asks me as he enters his post, grabbing a small book from it. Opening it up to begin scribbling down the names.

"Aye. Gandalf the Grey, Boromir of Gondor, Aragorn of Rivendell, Gimli of Erebor, Prince Kili of Erebor, Prince Legolas of Greenwood. Then we have Peregrine Took, Meriadock Brandybuck, Samwise Gamgee and Frodo Baggins of the Shire." I say with a smile to the dwarf. The dwarf nods his head, scribbling down their names.

"What's the nature of yer visit?" He asks me nervously. "Lord Dwalin ordered me to ask everyone who comes through this entrance my lady." He bows his head to me in apology.

"We have come to rest and recharge before continuing on to Lórien." The dwarf nods and scribbles again.

"Alright my Lady! Thank yae kindly for answering me questions." He bows his head to me again. "There's carts waiting for yae just ahead." He points behind himself with a smile.

"Thank you for your service." I bow to him and walk onwards, everyone knows their head to the dwarf who salutes them before returning to his post.. Reading a romance novel while he listens and waits for someone to enter through the secret gate. His shift ends soon and his brother will take over for the night.

"My, Moria has changed quite a bit since I was last here." Gandalf comments as we walk towards the row of carts waiting in the distance.

"I had Balin install these to make it easier for visitors who knew the password. This entrance is only for those of importance, like leaders and the like." I explain to everyone with a smile, helping the Hobbits inside of the carts. Everyone mounts the little minecart train while I enter the front. A small plant emerges from his housing when I push the lever. It grabs ahold of the track and begins to pull us, slowly gaining speed.

"What about the horse?" Sam asks me with concern, looking back to Chestnut who begins to trot along.

"They'll meet us there, don't worry Sam." I smile to him reassuringly and he nods with a sigh.

"Tha carts are plant powered?" Gimli asks with curiosity as we begin to move. "Why am I not surprised?" He looks to me with fondness.

"Aye. A lot of things here are. I gave Balin some of my children to use as workhorses as well as seeds to help with infrastructure until Dwarven ones could be made." I nod to him as we begin to speed up, the plant occasionally pulling again to maintain speed. "It will be a while until we reach inner Moria. Dwalin will be waiting for us there no doubt." I explain to everyone. "Sit down and relax." I see the Hobbits get comfortable in their cart.

"You claim to have killed a Demon of Morgoth?" Boromir says with a squint of suspicion.

"Indeed she did Boromir. I can attest to that for I was there!" Gandalf says with a chuckle, smoking on his pipe while he relaxes for our long journey.

"How? Those beasts are impossible to kill so I'm told." Aragorn asks me with curiosity.

"Aye! Tell us tha story auntie!" Gimli says with excitement. "I wannae hear it again! Always gives me tha shivers!"

"If it can bleed, you can kill it. It was just a pain in the ass cause it was so fucking big. The dragon was easier to kill because of the Black arrow i borrowed from the now King of Dale Bard and the wind lance I made out of plants." I push my hair from my face using a vine from my chest plate, my helmet hanging at my waist. So I can feel the cool breeze. "Where should I start on my tale?" I ask Gandalf.

"The orcs would be best my dear." He says with a nod eating a peach Sam gave him.

"Okay, so we arrived at the same entrance as we just entered. Balin and his army stayed behind until I could cull the Balrog. I didn't want anyone to die." I say to them with a pointed look. "I lured in a small group of the vermin down a hallway filled with.. special mushrooms." I grin at the thought of it. "Infecting them with the spores from a modified mushroom from my world. The mushrooms grew inside the orcs lungs and took over their bodies. They entered the blood stream through the oxygen and entered the brain, where they consumed everything not vital... I puppeted them and forced them to be my soldiers."

"How is such a thing possible??" Sam asks with a baffled expression.

"I;3 never heard of no mushrooms like that before!" Pippin says with a shake of his head.

"They're called Cordyceps. In my world they infect Ants and force them to climb so they may spread their spores on the breeze. I modifies them to work differently, which took quite a bit of work." I shrug my shoulders. "Anyway, I allowed the infected to bring me to their leader. Then infected the whole area, allowing the infected to run to those still clean and infect them as well. Within an hour I had the entire mountain under my control." I puff ot my chest with pride. "The Blighted are still serving here in the mines, hauling rock so the dwarves don't have to. They also provide the night watch."

"Incredible.."

"Anyway. I had a blighted wake the balrog up. It was quite pissed and killed it. It heard us and came to see what was going on. I trapped it and got a stab in. It broke free and sent me flying into a wall."

"That is when I engaged the beast, holding it back with my magic until Ellen could heal herself." Gandalf adds on while happily eating some fruit.

"I re-engaged and the bridge crumbled underneath us. We all fell down.." I look to Gandalfs.

"Gandalf was slashed across the abdomen and disemboweled." He admits with a sigh. "Gandalf the Grey died before he hit the ground." Gandalf says with a sigh.

"You died? But you're right here!" Aragorn says in confusion, gesturing to him. Gimli nods his head in agreement.

"I am not Gandalf the grey my dear boy.." Everyone except Gimli, Kili and Legolas look at Gandalf confused.

"It took a long ass year but he came back as Gandalf.." I look to Gandalf with a smirk.

"The White." Gandalf's clothes slowly lose their color, turning a bright alabaster. The fabric changing from wool to silk like robes. "I spent thousands upon thousands of years in the heavens with Eru. He taught me many things, updating me on my knowledge. I returned after a while, ready to protect the world where Saruman has failed. As the new leader of the White Council and leader of the Istari."

"What happened to the Balrog?" Frodo asks with furrowed brows.

"By the time it hit the ground it was barely clinging onto life. I beheaded the fucker and it's skull rests above my fireplace. I use the sword as a place to hang my coats." I smirk smugly.

"I have the beasts flaming whip. It is quite the weapon." Gandalf pulls out the sword sized hilt of the whip. "I have mastered it over the years since I was given it by Ellen." He says with a smile.

- Hours Later -

Exiting the cart with the help of Legolas, I kiss him on the cheek with a smile. He winks at me playfully. "Ellen!" Dwalin walks down the staircase leading into the minecart area with a grin on his face, lots of grey hairs littering his remaining hair and beard.

"Dwalin!" I smile as I walk up to him, crouching down I rest my hands on his shoulders. We smile at each other before smashing our heads together in traditional dwarvish greeting. "It's so good to see you my friend." I say with a slight headache forming, a red spot growing on my forehead. The hobbits look on in confusion and alarm along with Boromir.

"Aye, how have yae been lass?" He holds his arm out to me and laugh, looping it through his arm with a fond smile. "Follow me! I'll lead yae to the feast!" He says to the others offhandedly.

"I have been well, my pebbles have been keeping me on my toes." I say with fondness, shaking my head with a sigh.

"I see yae're on an adventure?" He asks as he leads us all to a dining room. "Where are ya headed?" He asks with curiosity as two dwarven guards open the doors to the dining room. Bowing to Dwalin who bows back to them.

"Yes we are on a quest. A rather important one I'm afraid.. We're going to destroy Sauron once and for all." I nod to my friend who looks at me in shock. The Hobbits drool at the sight of the table covered in fresh food. Everyone takes their seats and stares at the food hungrily.

"First a dragon, now a dark Lord eh? No rest for the wicked!" He chuckles at me while shaking his head. I roll my eyes at him. "How're yae gonna do it?"

"I cannot tell you my friend, I am sorry." I say with a soft sigh and frown. "The less who know the entire plan, the better. I only tell the group what is going to happen just before it does."

"Aye, I cannae agree with that... Are you all being hunted like we were?" He asks as he whips open his napkin to use as a bib. Tossing his long braided beard over his shoulder so he doesn't get it dirty as he eats.

"Yes, all manner of foul beasts ride our tail." Boromir says with a frown, Fern has had to fight off quite a bit of Wargs in the night. He's resting with Chestnut at the moment until we get to our rooms.

"Hm?" Dwalin raises a brow to Boromir.

"I have a child of mine guarding us while we sleep. Yet they still hunt us, it's honestly getting annoying." I say with a deep sigh, shaking my head. "Fern kills all of them quite easily and removes the evidence by burying the bodies."

"Fern?" Dwalin asks in confusion.

"Aye, I created a new son just for this mission." I nod my head. "Groot is still handling Dol Guldur and creating food for the people's." Groot takes in any injured people or orphans to live in his sanctuary. Anyone abandoned by society is welcome there.

Dwalin sees the Hobbits looking at the food hungrily and he barks out a laugh. "Dig in!" Dwalin exclaims, grabbing some meat to eat. "We even have vegetarian options for you Legolas. All in the green bowls, eh?" He smirks and Legolas smiles.

"Thank you Lord Dwalin." He bows his head in thanks to the dwarf, grabbing some leaf meat to eat.

"So who've ya got with ya in this mission, lass?" Dwalin asks me before sipping on some ale he poured himself.

"If everyone will introduce themselves?" I look around the party while I collect my plate.

"I shall go first I suppose... I am Boromir of Gondor, Captain of the royal guard and son of the Steward of Gondor." Boromir bows his head in greeting to Dwalin. Dwalin looks the man up and down, not entirely impressed.

"I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn.." Aragorn bows his head to Dwalin. "I am a Ranger by trade.."

"Isildur's heir?" Dwalin raises a furry brow at this, now getting an understanding of our mission.

"Aye." Aragorn nods to Dwalin.

"Hah! Nice to meet ya ladd. Who're the little'uns?" Dwalin asks me while looking at them. "I already know Gimli and Gandalf."

"Peregrine Took! Pleasure ta meet ya! Call me Pippin!" Pip says with a mouth full of meat.

"Meriadock Brandybuck sir, call me Merry." He says before guzzling down a PINT of ale.

"Samwise Gamgee sir." Sam nods his head to him with a nervous smile. Cutting into a sausage using a huge knife and fork in the hands of a hobbit.

Frodo looks to me and I smile at him and give him a reassuring nod. "Frodo Baggins sir.."

"Baggins??" Dwalin sits up in his seat with eyes glinting in recognition. "Related to Bilbo Baggins?" He asks Frodo with a growing smile.

"Aye sir.. he's my Uncle but took me in when my parents died." Frodo nods before taking a bite of a salad.

"Haven't seen that ole Hobbit in a long while! How has he been?" Dwalin asks the boy with a smile.

"He's retired to Rivendell to live his last days.. He's gotten quite old." I explain to Dwalin and see a frown grow on his face.

"Time takes us all..." Dwalin says with a nod, he raises his pint saluting to Bilbo before chugging it.

🔞 - Later - 🍋

Everyone was given rooms to stay in, Fern is staying with Frodo and the Hobbits to protect the ring while they sleeps. The Hobbits are beyond happy to sleep in real beds. Aragorn was surprised when he found out that I'm a Lady for Moria. He just thought I was responsible for killing the Balrog.

Me, Legolas and Kili are in my room Balin gifted to me before he passed. It's.. lavish to say the least. "Ah.. I have missed this." Kili says as he lays on the bed.

"I do not feel comfortable here.." Legolas says with a grimace, looking around the plant filled room that offers some solace in the silent mountain.

"Because we're underground?" I say while I strip off my clothes.

"Yes.. I can't hear any trees, only the plants in this room." He sits down onto the bed with a frown of distress, clenching and un clenching his hands.

"Want to do something that will take your mind off of it?" I propose with a mischievous glint in my eye.

"What do you have in mind?" He asks me cautiously, knowing how wicked I am.

"You promised me to partake in one of my kinks when you and Kili fucked me tied me up with your bowstrings." Both men look at each other with fear in their gaze. "I propose, and feel free to say no." I say to them with full seriousness. "Kili fucks Legolas while I ride him." I say with an excited grin. Legolas chokes on his own breath, Kili begins to blush a bright red.

Over the years they've been touching each other more and more during our intimate times... But never penetration. "I.." Legolas turns bright red, looking to Kili nervously.

"I'm.. I'm all for it." Kili nods with a blush as well, this makes Legolas' eyes widen.

"How.. how does one prepare for that sort of thing..?" Legolas asks me nervously, knowing on our wedding night I cleaned myself out so they could both fuck me at the same time.

"The homosexuals of my world taught me the wonders of anal douching." He squints at me only recognizing one word. I sigh and become point blank. "You squirt water up your butt and poop it out. You keep doing it until it comes out clean, it actually kinda feels nice. Do you want me to help you? If you still want to..?"

"Y-Yes.. I.. I've wanted to know what being fucked by a man felt like for a while now.." Legolas says nervously. I clap my hands with excitement.

"It's like Christmas!" I squeal running in place, Legolas blushes bashfully at my reaction. "Men on men is SO FUCKING HOTTTT." I exclaim with a feral grin, grabbing Legolas I drag him to the bathroom. "I already got a plant that works like a Bidet- it cleans your butt with water by spraying it but you don't have to pull it out." I explain and he nods. Kili stands in the doorway and watches us as he gets undressed. Legolas looks around unsure of what to do. "Let me help love, get undressed."

Legolas strips from his clothes and stands naked before me, I grab his cock in hand and stroke him slowly. He exhales with a sigh as I begin to touch him, his member slowly coming to life as he stares at me. "Sit down on the toilet." Legolas nods and sits on the toilet, looking at me nervously. "This will feel weird, but don't worry. I've already warmed the water up, I'm controlling the plant." He nods his head, with a thought the bidet plant comes to life, moving towards his butt. Legolas squeaks as the slippery bulb of the plant prods his butthole. I stroke his length to keep him distracted as the plant slowly pushes inside. He grimaces slightly but doesn't speak. "You doing okay?" I ask him with concern, halting the plants movements.

"Y-Yes.." he nods to me, I make the plant nudge his prostate and he moans wantonly, arching off of the toilet. "What-" he looks to me in shock.

"That my dear Ellon, is the prostate." I smirk at him smugly, forcing the plant to begin cleaning him out.

"That feels odd-" he says with a frown.

"I modified this plant so you don't have to expel the water like I had to originally. It will pull out once the water comes backs clear okay?" I kiss him on the lips and he nods with a groan.

"How.. how will he fit..? Even that tiny plant felt uncomfortable?" Legolas asks me while he pants, the water hitting his prostate gently.

"Stretching. The butts a muscle, you stretch it open so there's no pain." I explain with a smile to him, teasing his balls he moans softly. "God bless the gays." I praise with a grin. Most people in fanfiction don't write about the before parts of butt sex. They don't even mention stretching of the buttocks! That was one of my biggest pet peeves when I read fan fiction in my world.. If you're gonna write about men on men gay smut, or even female on man pegging smut. GET 👏 IT 👏 RIGHT 👏👏👏.

The plant slowly pulls out of him and he exhales with relief, bucking his hips into me. "How will you s-stretch me..?" He asks me with a cute blush on his face.

"Do you want my hand? Or a plant? The plant will be more consistent and less painful." Legolas looks away with a nervous blush.

"Y-you.." he squeaks out to me, looking bashful and adorable. The urge to peg this man is growing.

"Okay my love, let's go to the bedroom." I pull him away from the toilet, we both see Kili stroking his cock in the doorway.

"Don't mind me~" he says with a wink, walking out towards the bedroom.

"He's going inside me..?" Legolas whines with nervousness, wondering how I can fit that dwarfs thick cock inside of me normally.

"You don't have to do it love." I reassure him while he walks to the bed. "You can back out, I don't mind."

"I've already gotten this far.. I can continue on.." He looks to me and nods, sitting on the bed he scoots himself back.

A plant on the night stand comes to life, transforming to my will. It grows towards me and oozes a slimy sap that will act as lube. I work it into my hand to make sure it's fully coated before looking to Legolas. Climbing on the bed I kneel in between his legs, his cock twitches with interest. Maybe pegging on a later date? I mentally put a pin in that thought.

Moving my hand towards his hole, I use a finger to slather the surface with the sap. Slowly pushing a finger inside he groans softly. I work in and out for a moment before slowly pushing a second finger in. He rests his head back and pants softly, Kili sits behind him and strokes Legolas' cock. He gasps and looks to Kili who smirks at his co-husband. Kili leans down and begins to kiss the elf who whines softly against his lips.

"Fuck that's hot.." I comment while biting my lips, slowly stretching Legolas. Pushing against his prostate he keens, bucking into Kili's fist. "Such a good boy for me Legolas.." I purr out to him, pushing a third finger in every so slowly. "Taking me so well.." he whines against Kili's lips with need, the dwelf fucking his mouth with his tongue. Legolas grips the sheets tightly and tugs on them, writhing against Kili and my hands.

Kili pulls his hand away with a grin. "No!" Legolas cries out with a pant as he pulls away, so close to cumming already.

"Save your cum for our wife." Kili grins at the elf who whines with need.

"I think he's ready~" I sing out with a grin, four fingers in and he's stretched. Kili smirks and nods his head. I quickly clean my hands and come back to Kili already in position. Reaching up a vine comes down and picks me up, making it so I can mount Legolas easier. It sets me down onto his lap gently. "Ready?" I ask him and he nods shakily, his prehensile cock already searching for my slick pussy.

"I'm ready.." he nods his head, Kili looks and nods as well.

Kili slowly pushes his cock into Legolas with a groan eyes locked onto his face for any signs of discomfort, the elf wheezing from the dwarfs size stretching him. "You okay love?" I ask him. Legolas nods his head, staring at me needily. I sit down and let his cock push inside of me with ease. Legolas cries out with loud pants.

"Ready pretty boy?" Kili asks with a grin, rocking his hips ever so slowly.

"Yes! Shut up and fuck me already!" Legolas cry's out with a needy whine. Leaning forward I press my chest against Legolas', pulling him by his hair to kiss me. I begin to bounce on his cock, Kili takes that as his queue.. and begins to slowly fuck into the elf, gaining speed.

Legolas moans deeply into the kiss, sucking on my tongue eagerly with lidded eyes. Wrapping his arms around me, he controls the speed of my hips. Bouncing me into his cock at a good pace. "Fuck.. you feel incredible.." Kili groans out, resting his head against my back. Thrusting and fucking into the elf with increasing speed.

If his father could see him now.. he would probably burst a blood vessel realize his son is getting dicked down by a dwarf- well, Dwelf. I think to myself with a soft moan, Legolas groans against my lips as he devours me. Fucking into me at the same pace as Kili. I pull away to breath and he wheezes out a wanton moan. "Fuck-" he curses out, Kili hitting his prostate with every thrust. The Dwelf grins, aiming for that spot. Legolas lays back his eyes rolling into the back of his head. "By the valar.. so fucking good.." he speaks in Sindarin as Westrons fucked out of his brain.

I can feel his cock twitch and pulse inside of me. "He's close!" I cry out as he continues to fuck me, losing his rhythm as he nears orgasm.

"Come on pretty boy! Fill our wife full of cum!" Kili growls out, slapping Legolas on the ass. The elf squeaks out a moan at the sensation, quickly losing his control he pulls me flush to him.

Whining out as Kili continues to hit his prostate, Legolas shoots rope after rope of cum inside of me. Don't get pregnant- don't get pregnant- I will my elven fëa to my commands, forcing my body to not produce eggs. "Fuck Legolas..." I moan against his lips with lidded eyes.

He pants loudly as he stares at me. "I.. no more!" He whines to Kili, pleadingly. The Dwelf pulls out and Legolas goes limp.

Kili grabs me off of Legolas and holds me in his arms. Pushing his cock inside of me I moan out, the Dwelf getting right to work. Fucking into me like a well oiled machine. "Oh fuck! Kii!" I cry out, reaching behind me to hold onto him.

"Such a good girl for us, hm?" Kili purrs into my ear. "Keeping us safe and fed.." He kisses and sucks at my neck. "Good girls get rewards.." he says with a chuckle, Legolas appears in front of me with a debauched expression. Reaching forward to rub my clit while Kili fucks me. He means forward and licks at my clit with a hum, sucking on it gently.

I whine out loudly from the added sensations, arching my back I squirt onto the floor. Kili groans deeply as he fucks me, feeling me clench down onto him. Pulling out of me, he moves to Legolas.. and paints the elf's body in his cum. Legolas groans softly with lidded eyes as his ass and stomach are covered in dwarven spunk. "That was... Un needed.. Kili.." Legolas whines at the dwelf who chuckles.

"But hot." I add in with a smile on my face, both men look to me and blush. Wishing that my phone wasn't broken and I could get it fixed.. The bloody thing sucks battery as fast as it charges now. And in medieval times it's kinda hard to get a new smartphone.

Chapter Text

Written: November 21st, 2024

-  Next Day  -  Late Afternoon  -

Exiting Moria with haste, we continue our journey after a days rest. Heading into Lothlorien to meet with Galadriel.. mainly cause I wanna see Haldir and we need stuff. If I was single I wouldn't mind that elf fucking me against a tree. My husband's are aware of this. "What's on your mind?" Legolas asks with a slight limp from last nights activities.

"Fantasizing." I say with a salacious smirk.

"You are insatiable!" Legolas chuckles at me, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Its a good thing I have two husbands so you both can keep up!" I cackle with a grin, moving the plants around us I feel movement behind us. Gollum is following, finally... I don't see Boromir frowning behind us.

"Stay close, young Hobbits! They say that a great sorceress lives in these woods, an Elf-witch, of terrible power. All who look upon her, fall under her spell and are never seen again! Well, here is one Dwarf she won't ensnare so easily-"

"Gimli." I give him a warning look and he blushes. He's getting better at the racism.. he's okay with Legolas.

"Sorry Auntie Ellen.." he apologies bashfully.

As we walk along I move the forest around me slightly, to protect us from any creatures and to see where Gollum is.. only to notice several black spots moving our way through the trees. "We've got company." I stop us all from moving by holding my hand out. Sensing the elves running through the branches.

Elves drop from above with their bows drawn, Legolas reaches for his bow but I stop him... Until I have an arrow in my face, Kili then pulls his weapon with a glare aimed at Haldir. "The dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark." Haldir sneers out with a scowl.

"Now, that's quite rude." I smirk to them. "Lower your weapons boys, no need to measure dicks." I huff out with a scowl, I usher my husband to put down his bow. He does slowly and with a frown.

"Who are you?" Haldir growls to me, bow still poised and aimed at me.

"Seriously? Dude, you were at my fucking wedding!" I say with a look of confusion on my face. "Not to mention I rescued those elves about 40 ish years ago?? In Moria??? Plus I thought Galadriel would have told you we were on our way here by now." I shake my head with a loud sigh. Gandalf watches with amusement, chuckling to himself.

"My apologies my lady.. I did not recognize you, your armor is different." he bows his head to me in apology. "Follow us.. if you would please... Let us speak in a nearby Outpost about who accompanies you and why you are here." He looks to his men. "Do not harm them! The Hand of the Valar travels with them!" All of the elves eyes widen when they hear their leader speak, staring at me in awe.

- Later - Talan Outpost -

Chestnut crouches down and a thick bush grows out of the top of his back. Disguising it's body from any Orcish pests. I hold my hand out and grab onto a branch that brings me up to the Talan where everyone is waiting. Haldir looks over our group now that we're in a safe place. "Mae govannen, Legolas Thranduilion." Haldir bows to Legolas in greeting. Legolas bows his head back in greeting. "Aragorn of the Dúnedain, you are known to us." Haldir looks Aragorn up and down. He looks to Gandalf and nods to him.

"Haldir." Aragorn nods to the elf.

"So much for the legendary courtesy of the Elves! Speak words we can also understand!" Gimli scowls while crossing his arms, sitting with the Hobbits.

"Gimli." I glare at him as I hand Sam the pot he asked for to make our dinner.

"Sorry auntie.." he blushes in embarrassment, Haldir glares at the dwarf but says nothing.

Haldir looks to Frodo who begins to look nervous as Sam begins to cook using a flower. Using some of the supplies Dwalin sent us off with. "You bring great evil with you small one." He turns to me with a scowl. "You can go no further Druid, my apologies.." he bows his head to me.

"I would skip Lórien if I thought i could, Haldir. But I need items that Galadriel will give to the Fellowship. If she doesn't give them to us then we will fail." I explain to the elf with a frown on my face.

"I cannot allow you further. You must return from whence you came." He shakes his head at me. I suck at my teeth with a glare aimed at the elf. "You should feel lucky you are alive. Anyone who enters Lothlorien is killed in sight." That's a very shitty policy, no wonder people hate the elves.

"Know what? One second." I hold my hand out and grab onto a branch, dropping down onto the forest floor. Planning on sending a letter to Galadriel bitching about her guard dog. He's been a very bad boy.

"Brother? Guard the Druid." Haldir orders his brother Rumil who nods in agreement. Dropping down onto the forest floor beside me.

Seeing the elf beside me I just roll my eyes. Grabbing paper and a quill from my bandolier I look around with a frown. Not seeing a flat rock in sight to write on. "Nothing fucking flat.." I say with a huff, I look to the elf. That should work. "You, turn around." I point to the elf and make a twirling motion with my hand, the elf looks at me in confusion. Not able to understand Common or Westron. Which is honestly very shitty of the elves. They live for thousands of years and don't have the common decency to learn the most speaked language?

I roll my eyes and walk around the elf, pushing him to the tree. I place the paper on his back and quickly begin to write my scathing letter about Haldir. The elf blushes at the harsh treatment, looking over his shoulder at me with wide eyes. Haldir leans over the edge and squints at me in confusion. I whistle out and my mole appears at my feet. This should get him cussed out nice! I smile at my letter and nod to myself.

Crouching down I hand the letter to the potato mole. "Take this to Galadriel. Wake her up if you have to." The mole grabs the letter and stuffs it inside it's mouth before nodding and disappearing into the soil. I turn and look up to the Talan. "You're in trouble~" I sing out to Haldir with a grin, allowing branch to being me back up. The elf pulls away from the tree with a blush on his cheeks, climbing up the ladder.

"I pity your fate Haldir.." Legolas rests a hand on his shoulder with a look of sorrow that just makes the Marchwarden confused. "With what my wife just said.. she did not speak highly of you to Lady Galadriel."

"I told Galadriel that we would be coming this way." I huff out while leaning against the tree. "Honestly.. we will wait for a reply. It shouldn't take but a few hours for my mole to get there." I shrug my shoulders, biting into an apple I just grew while Sam cooks for us all. I even let the elves, except Haldir, to eat some fresh out of season fruit.

-  Few Hours Later  -   Late  Night  -

Everyone sleeps in hammocks hanging from the branches as we wait for Galadriel's response. I remain awake, sitting in the Talan while Legolas and Kili sleep in separate hammocks. I watch Haldir and see as he stiffens with wide eyes, he looks to me. I smirk and wave at him, giving him a playful wink. Just knowing that Galadriel is cussing him out through her telepathy. "Safe to say we get a ticket into Disneyland?" I say while lounging against the tree.

"Lady Galadriel allows you all entry into Caras Galadhon.. We leave at day break." He nods to me with a look of nervousness. I scowl at this information, knowing we could be there by day break.

"Pfft. Nah." I wave him off, tossing seeds out of my bandolier. Creating horses for the entire fellowship and the elves.. but less so for the elves. "You fuckers can double up and ride the horses." I lower the sleeping company into the horses chest cavity's, closing them around them. They don't even stir, except Legolas who looks around in confusion. "I'm not waiting another goddamn second. We're already behind schedule." I aim a glare at Haldir before dismounting the tree.

"It is not safe-" Haldir says worriedly.

"Dude, I control plants. I can sense every living thing in this forest and on the outskirts. I just killed a pack of orcs with my mind." I shake my head at him in disbelief, mounting Chestnut. "Shut your pie hole and get your ass on a horse!" I shriek to him with a loud whisper.

"Y-Yes Druid.." he says nervously. "Mount the steeds, the druid orders we ride for Caras Galadhon." He speaks to his men who look at him with confusion.

"Brother? Why do we not wait for daybreak? The orcs-" Rumil says with furrowed brow.

"The Druid has killed all the orcs near Lothlorien. She claims it is safe.. Our lady is angered at me because I threatened the druid with my bow. She has ordered me to follow her commands as if they are her law." Haldir grabs his weapons and drops from the Talan, quickly mounting a plant horse. That shrinks to the size of a pony just to spite him.

- Morning -

Trotting through the woods full speed, I yawn loudly with sleepy eyes. My horses effortlessly leaping over a cliff and landing on the other side, the elves cling to their horses as they also leap over the river. In the story they would have crossed using ropes, but jumping is so much easier... The moment Chestnut lands I hear my husband below me. "Whazzup-?!" Kili sits up with wide eyes only to grunt in pain when he smacks his head on the horse. Legolas stirs slightly beside him.

"Morning my love!" I look below me to Kili who's laying beside a sleeping Legolas.

"Wha.. Why're we mobile?" Kili asks with a look of confusion, he was just sleeping in a Talan a moment ago.

"Because I'm impatient." I say with a laugh.  "We're almost to the city." I explain while waving him off. Saving the entire party from being escorted through the woods blindfolded because they're racist against Gimli.

"Where?" He asks me with a deep voice, still waking form sleep. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes with a grunt.

"We are here... Caras Galadhon... the heart of Elvendom on middle earth. Realm of the Lord Celeborn and of Galadriel, Lady of Light." Haldir states from his tiny pony, I smirk smugly at him. Seeing that he is frowning on his tiny horse. serves him right, fucker.

"Good! Y'all can go talk and shit, I'm gonna take a fucking nap." I say with a huff, Chestnut opening himself up and adjusting to suit me in the new space. Sliding me in the middle of my husbands. "Only wake me if the world is on fire." I say with a grumble, snuggling into Kili while Chestnut follows Haldir's pony to the city. Kili chuckles softly and allows me to cuddle close to him, the scent of flower's comes from Chestnut lulling me into a restful sleep.

- Ten Hours Later -

"Love..?" A voice calls out and I grumble, using the moss pillow to shut it up. Covering my ears and trying to return to the black void of sleep.

"Come on ‘Ibinê.. its time to wake up." Kili coo's to me and I open my eyes to glare at him. Mentally envisioning his death multiple ways, how dare he awake me.

"Is the planet on fire?" I ask with a growl of anger.

"No-" He says nervously, a bead of sweat dropping down his brow.

"Then why the fuck did you awake me?" My glare intensifies, the plants around us begin to shiver. Kili gulps loudly in fear of my gaze, looking to his co-husband for aid in awakening their Balrog of a wife.

"It has been ten hours my love." Legolas explains with a warm smile, pushing my hair from my face.

"Ugh.." I grumble with a scowl and sit up inside Chestnut. "Did Aragorn and Gandalf talk to Galadriel?" I ask as I rub the sleep from my eyes, still exhausted beyond belief.

"Aye. Galadriel apologies for Haldir's.. error." Legolas says with a grimace, chuckling nervously.

"Good. When do we leave?" I ask with a deep sigh, wanting to get the fuck outta dodge. How dare that fucker aim his goddamn bow at me. He was at my fucking wedding! The prick!

"A day my love, then we shall resume our journey down the river." Kili says with a smile. "Can your horses-" He begins to ask with a squint.

"They can turn into boats if need be. Or follow along the shore." I shrug with indifference, my eyes heavy with exhaustion. "Sooner this shit gets done, sooner I can clean up Arda of the oil spill known as Melkor." I blow my hair out of my face, blinking slowly one eye at a time. Chestnut's flowers lulling me back to sleep from me being so calm.

"Galadriel wished to speak with you. But I told her you were sleeping." Legolas says before sitting beside me on Chestnut.

"Ew.. human contact." I stare at Legolas, my lip curling in disgust. Brows furrowed with dislike.

"Not human, my love." Legolas says with a smirk of amusement.

"Ew... Elf contact.." I correct myself and say again and he chuckles, shaking his head in amusement of me.

"You don't have to meet with her love, she understands. You can just say goodbye when we leave. We shall head off tomorrow morning." Legolas pushes my hair from my face with a smile, kissing my forehead lovingly. "Go back to sleep my sleepy dragon."

"Good. I'm gonna resume my mid afternoon coma. Goodnight!" I push Legolas out of Chestnut and he lands on his ass and laughs out at me, I snuggle into the horse and sigh. Chestnut snorts out and the calming scent of flowers fills the air. I exhale and fall asleep once more.

- Next Day -

Standing at the dock with a sigh, a scowl on my face I look up to the sky and huff. Galadriel walks down the path with a smile on her face. "Hello my dear." She smiles to me and nods in greeting.

"Hello Lady Galadriel." I bow to her in greeting. "Lord Celeborn." I now to him as well and he bows back.

"I see you are eager to leave? How was your rest? Legolas tells me you slept the entire day away." She says with a tilt of her head.

"Mhm. Quicker we leave, quicker Saurons dead." I shrug my shoulders with indifference. "I slept pretty good, im recharged and ready to slaughter Orcs." I say with a murderous glint in my eye.

"Here, I have brought you all cloaks to keep you all safe. They shall allow you to blend into your surroundings." She waves to an elf who begins to hand them out with a smile.

I throw the cloak on with an excited smile clasping it around my armor. "Hehehe." I giggle under my breath mischievously, making Galadriel smile in amusement. "Thank you! Ive always wanted one of these!"

"Never before have we clad strangers in the garb of our own people. May these cloaks help shield you from unfriendly eyes." Celeborn nods to us with a small smile. "And may this food keep you all full on your journey." He looks to the elf helping Legolas load up all the packages of food.

"LEMBASSS!!" I shriek in excitement, grabbing the package eagerly with a beam of excitement. Legolas smiles at me in amusement, Kili rolls his eyes fondly. Knowing I love the bread because its simple for me to eat when my body doesn't have a food hyper fixation. I take a few bites and am full, not having to worry about being starved.

"What's that?" Pippin asks in confusion.

"As my wife said, it is Lembas! Or Elvish Way-bread. One small bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man." Legolas explains to the Hobbits while taking the bushels from the elf on the shore.

Merry looks to Pippin whos stuffing his face with the bread. Finishing off another small loaf by himself. "How many did you eat?" Merry whispers to Pippin with curiosity.

"Four." Pippin says before burping loudly, he covers his mouth with a blush.

"Don't feel bad pip, I can eat five all by myself." I enter the boat and pat the Hobbit on the back and he looks at me in astonishment.

"How? I've eaten four and I'm already full!" He exclaims in astonishment.

"Texture." I shrug my shoulders with indifference. "I like the mouth feel more then the flavor."

Celeborn looks to me before speaking with Gandalf and Aragorn. "Every league you travel south, the danger will increase. Mordor Orcs now hold the eastern shore of the Anduin. Nor will you find safety on the western bank. Strange creatures bearing the mark of the White Hand have been seen on our borders. Seldom do Orcs journey in the open, under the sun, yet these have done so!"

"That's because they're Uruk-Hai! Breed with human DNA to make them capable of walking in the sun." I explain idly while arranging the boat how I like, Kili smiles at me with amusement.

"You are being tracked." He speaks to Aragorn, Gandalf frowns slightly puffing on his pipe. Handing Aragorn a ornate dagger, he unsheathes it and inspects it before nodding and adding it to his belt. "By river you have the chance of outrunning the enemy to the Falls of Rauros." Both men nod to Celeborn, Galadriel walks up to the rest of us with a smile.

"My gift for you, Legolas, is a sword of the Galadhrim." She hands Legolas a long blade which he takes with a bow. She turns to Pippin and Merry who look nervous. "These are the daggers of the Noldor. They have already seen service in war. Do not fear, young Peregrine Took. You will find your courage." She smiles to the Hobbit who nods to her nervously.

"Thank you my lady." He bows his head to her with a smile.

She turns towards the redheaded Hobbit. "And for you, Samwise Gamgee: Elven rope, made of hithlain." The fuck is hithlain? I ask myself mentally with a squint of confusion.

"It is an enchanted rope none can break free from unless the user wishes it." She explains to me with a sly smile. Thank you Galadriel.

"Thank you, my lady." He bows to her with a smile, looking to Pippin and Merry from the corner of his eye. "I don't need no shiny weapons. Lady Ellen made me and Mr. Frodo sword already!" He says with a chuckle, looking to the grass blade wrapped around his wrist.

Galadriel looks to Gimli with a soft smile. "And what gift would a Dwarf ask of the Elves?" She asks with a tilt of her head. Gimli looks down with a blush covering his face.

"Nothing..." He bites his lip and looks up. "Except to look upon the Lady of the Galadhrim one last time, for she is more fair than all the jewels beneath the earth." He says with a nervous smile. SMOOTHHHH!!! AND WITH HER HUSBAND RIGHT THERE!!! GIMLI YOUVE GOT BALLS OF STEEL!!!

Galadriel chuckles softly, covering her mouth with her hand. Gimli goes to walk to the boat but stops, turning to look back. "Actually, there was one thing- ah, agh, that's quite impossible. Stupid to ask." He stumbles nervously, playing with his hands. "Could.. could I have a strand of your hair my lady? So that I may look upon it and remember you?" He says softly while looking up to the Elleth.

Galadriel smiles coyly and nods her head, plucking three hairs from her head. I quickly create a small wooden locket and hand it to Gimli. He blushes and takes the hairs, resting them inside. He bows to Galadriel and rushes to the boat, Legolas and Kili helping him inside. Galadriel walks to Aragorn and smiles at him. "I have nothing greater to give, than the gift you already bear. For her love, I fear the grace of Arwen Evenstar… will diminish."

"I would have her leave these shores, and be with her people. I would have her take the ship to Valinor." Aragorn says back to Galadriel while the hobbits, Boromir and Gimli look to him in confusion. I proceed to tune everything out with a sigh, already planning on giving Aragorn a special apple for his wedding gift.

"To Kili, the dwarf turned half elven by the Valar themselves. I gift you an axe fitting that of a Half Elven dwarf." Kili steps off the boat and walks up to Galadriel. An elf walks up and hands him a small hand axe that looks dwarf and elf made. "It was made during a time where our people's knew peace and were great friends.. Our finest craftsmen worked together to make this axe."

"Thank you my lady." He bows to her thankfully before re-entering the boat.

"Ellen, Druid of the Valar." I raise a brow from where I'm sitting in the boat. "You did not think I would forget about you, did you?" She smiles coyly, mischief in her gaze.

"Uh.. no..?" I say nervously. Yeah, yeah I totally did.. I don't really need anything..

"I gift you a bag that will keep things within it from spoiling so quickly, keeping your fruits fresher longer. The leaves it was made from are from Valinor, enchanted to never wilt or spoil.. It gives these properties to whatever is held within the bag." An elf hands me a beautiful messenger bag that looks like its made of huge leaves and my eyes widen at the sight of it.

"Dope- I mean uh.. thank you my lady." I bow to her and blush nervously. She chuckles softly with amusement, holding her hand over her mouth.

Galadriel is handed a glowing bottle and holds it in hand, looking to Frodo. "Farewell, Frodo Baggins. I give you the light of Eärendil, our most beloved star. May it be a light for you, in dark places, when all other lights go out." She hands it to Frodo who takes it with a look of awe on his face.

"Thank you Lady Galadriel." Frodo smiles in thanks, stuffing the bottle safely into his bag. We all hop into the boat and get settled.

"We wish you well in your journey. Middle Earth's fate is in your hands." She says just as the ropes are removed from the dock by some elves and we begin to drift down stream. Chestnut dives into the water, devoid of our belongings and follows after us on the bottom of the lake.

"Well, that certainly went well!" I say with a smile and nod.

"I have taken my worst wound at this parting, having looked my last upon that which is fairest. Now henceforth I will call nothing fair unless it be her gift to me." Gimli says with a wistful smile on his face, looking down the river.

"What did she gift you my friend?" Legolas asks with curiosity from where he pilots the boat.

"I asked her for one hair from her golden head. She gave me three." Gimli says with a giggle, smiling as he looks into the distance.

"Asked her for it right in front of her husband too! You've got some serious balls Gimli!" I say with a cackle, only to see the dwarfs eyes widen.

"BUGGER! I DUNNAE THINK OF THA!" He says in clear distress and everyone begins to laugh loudly with amusement.

Chapter Text

Written: November 23rd, 2024

- Sunset -

"Whoa... Those are some big ass statues." I say in awe as we begin to sail towards them down the river. The longer I stare at them the more my hands begin to twitch, and a need inside of me roars angrily.

"That is the Argonath." Boromir states with a fond smile on his face. I suck at my teeth with a look of distaste towards the stone statues. "What?" Boromir looks at me with a frown, wondering why I made that noise.

"Whoever built it is a fucking disgrace and should be put into a Brazen Bull torture device." I say with complete seriousness, staring at the statues with complete disgust. My hands playing with themselves to make sure I don't try something.

Boromir clenches his fists and stands up with a scowl on his face. Legolas sighs shaking his head, Aragorn holding the man back from killing me. "Love, explain to him why you feel this way." Legolas looks to me with fondness, used to the way I react.

"THEY AREN'T SYMMETRICAL!!!" I scream out like Death the Kid, tugging at my hair in stress. "IT'S AN ABOMINATION!! WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THEM FACE THE SAME WAY AND NOT HAVE THEIR ARMS BE SYMMETRICAL?!?! THEY SHOULD BE BACK TO BACK OR FRONT TO FRONT! EACH MIRRORING THEIR ARMS!!!" I stomp my feet on the boat as I scream in rage and Legolas sighs again. Kili laughs into his hand, he had to get used to me adjusting his hair when I found it out of place.

"You.. you hate it because it is not symmetrical??" Boromir says in complete confusion, his rage disappearing being replaced. Aragorn looks to me with confusion as well, not understanding why I'm so angry.

"YOU AREN'T?!?!" I balk at him with wide eyes filled with shock. "We need to hurry, if I keep looking at them I have half a mind to rip em down and do it the right way." I urge Legolas to speed us up with a frown on my face. My fingers itching to fix the non symmetrical statues the size of mountains. I'm so tempted to rip the arms off and swap them so they are symmetrical.

"Why does it stress her so?" Boromir says out loud to Kili and Legolas.

"Lady Ellen has explained it to me once when she served tea after my resurrection." Gandalf says while leaning back comfortably in his seat. "She said her mind works differently then other people's, she processes things differently and the way her train of thought functions is erratic in her words. She said she has an ailment called.. what was it again my dear girl?" Gandalf asks me with a raised brow, turning to look at me.

"It was called Autism Spectrum Disorder in my world!" I say loudly so they can hear, my elf ears twitching having been working like proper elf ears after a long while.

"Can it be fixed?" Boromir asks with concern, not wanting any woman to be ailing with a sickness. He has seen many woman die from Hysteria after being told of their husbands deaths.

"Boromir... Can you fix being born without a leg?" I say with a frown aimed at the man, he squints in confusion wondering what that has to do with anything. "I was born like this B-man, and it's not an ailment Gandalf." I look to the wizard with a huff.

"My apologies dear girl." He nods to me with sincerity in his gaze. "I meant you no offense, I simply had no other words to describe it to the Fellowship."

"It's alright." I wave him off with a smile, knowing how people in my world thought it could be fixed. My Narcissist uncle by marriage thought he could fix my cousin of his autism. When that didn't work he pretended that he was normal, then when that didn't work. He didn't pay attention to him at all, focusing all his love and attention on my cousins little sister... Who turned out Neurotypical.

"How.. how were you born like this?" Aragorn asks with curiosity, eyes focused on the river. "Did your mother eat or drink something? Perhaps alcohol?" He knows that some woman who were deep in the bottle and pregnant often lost their babies or they came out.. odd. Well, my mom smoked more then Gandalf, and that's saying something.. but no. Not even cigarettes caused my autism.

"It's genetic, I know that much. My mother had it, and grandfather. My aunt's son, my cousin has it as well.. I think my Great Grandpa on my Papa's side must have had the gene, I'm unsure. I wasn't old enough to watch for similar behaviors to me. But my kids have it as well, Milli is just like me. She has odd food preferences like I do and has trouble talking to others, while my other daughter Zelda gets overstimulated quickly. She has had a few meltdowns over the years." I say with a sigh, having helped my daughters cope with being on the spectrum. I've grown sound nullifying headphones for each of them to help them relax.

"Aye! Zelda likes ta read books in tha forest more then anythin!" Gimli says with a nod, smiling wide.

"I was just like her in my world. I would nosedive into my hobbies then go out and be social.. after a time I even stopped talking to my friends. Just focusing on my hobbies." I say with a soft sigh of remembrance. I always meant to get back in contact with my friends.. but I keep forgetting,  then when I remembered I got nervous and didn't do it.. then rinse and repeat for almost ten years.

"How queer.." Boromir says with a furrowed brow, the sun begins to set in the distance. I don't like that term B-man, but I'll let it slide cause it's like the 1600's here. Queer didn't mean gay back then I don't think, it meant Odd... Wait.. why are we called Queer now??

"We must make camp." Aragorn says to us softly, the sun getting lower and lower. My mind races through the movies mentally, mainly notable fanfictions.. and I remember. Mr. Bromine himself dies after trying to mug Frodo.

"It's time." I say with a steeled gaze as Aragorn moves us to shore. Looking at the other side wearily, I use roots to pull the boats into the shore. Allowing us all to dismount and remain dry. I close my eyes and sense the forest, feeling orcs nearby.. but they haven't seen it heard us yet, they aren't in range.

"Time? Time for what?" Frodo says in confusion, looking up to me. I look to Boromir who's busy getting out supplies and turn back, crouching down I begin to whisper to him.

"Time for you, Sam and Fern to head off." I smile to Frodo and his eyes widen in surprise and shock.

"Truly? So soon?" He whispers back beginning to play with his hands, Chestnut emerging from the water covered in seaweed his flowery main gone. Looking like a Kelpie from Delicious in Dungeon. Sam walks over and leans down, listening to what's going on after Frodo beckons him over.

"Aye. Fern will protect you and make sure that Gollum, who will join you, wont take the ring." I rest my hands on his and give them a squeeze.

"He's going to join us?" Sam looks at me with wide eyes.

"He's going to be your guide into Mordor." I say with a nod to the ginger haired Hobbit. "He knows how to escape Mordor through a secret passage.. So he knows the back way in." I smirk and both Hobbits nod their heads, I look over and see Boromir eyeing us. "Go. I shall keep them distracted." I usher them on and they nod, holding their satchels which I filled with fruits as well as their Lembas. Both Hobbits begin to run into the darkness, Fern right behind them, his sword at the ready. Flowey appears in the darkness and guides them with a smile. Just like I asked him to.

"Where are the little ones going???" Boromir asks with wild eyes, standing up from his seat. He begins to walk forward to go chase them down, no doubt wanting to mug Frodo.

"Sit your ass down." I glare at the man, vines erupt from the soil and grab onto him. Pulling him back down into his seat. He grunts and tries to fight the vines, Aragorn and Legolas look to me in confusion. But don't intervene, believing I have a purpose for tying the man up. Trusting in my future knowledge. "Merry, Pippin?" I call out to the Hobbits who look to me. "It is time for you to begin your task.. the one I told you about."

"Okay.. what do we need to do exactly, Miss Ellen?" Pippin asks from where he's sitting, Chestnut walks up and looks to them. Shaking his head the kelp changes into a mane of flowers once more now that he's dry.

"You will need to find the Ent known as Treebeard. Chestnut will escort you to him since they can sense them, keeping you hidden and safe form the Uruk-Hai who are on their way as we speak." I explain to the Hobbits who squint at me, wondering why an Ent is so important. They could be helping Frodo.

"Why do we need to go to an Ent?" Pippin asks while crossing his arms.

"You need to speak with Treebeard and go to the Council of Ents, also known as the Entmoot. My son Groot will be meeting you with Treebeard, to help ease him, assuring him you're not Orcs. You need to tell him that Saruman is using his kin to fuel furnaces. He is slaughtering the Ents and their wives." I say with a steeled look, knowing how long Treebeard and the Entmoot will take.

"I uh.." Merry looks at me with a nervous look.

"Convince him to join, to fight for Isengard." I smile at them, resting my hands on their shoulders. "I have full confidence in you my Hobbits." I each give them a kiss on the forehead and they blush a bright red.

"FOR THE SHIRE!" Pippin yells with a red blush rushing to Chestnut who's eyes widen, crouching down he allows the hobbits onto his back.

"Keep them safe Nutter Butter." I pet my horse on the head and he snorts the scent of flowers into my face before turning and booking it. I feel movement in the trees heading out way.. no doubt Pippins yell lead them right to us. "Just in time.." I say with a sigh, unsheathing My Little Friend from my belt. "We've got company!" I yell out just as the Orcs break through the tree line. Arrows flying from the sky, I use the roots under ground to create shields above everyone to stop the barrage. The trees move and begin to slaughter them with a thought. I dash forward and cut an orcs hands off with a growl. It screeches in pain, falling to the ground where I stab it in the heart. Aragorn roars and rushes forward with a shield and sword in hand.

Gandalf pulls the Balrog's whip from his sleeve, the flames igniting. The Orcs look at him in fear as he cracks the whip at an Uruk who scream in pain. Aragorn, Kili and Gimli rush forward with roars while Legolas provides cover fire. I lift him into the trees and provide protection for him.

I begin to float into the air, my eyes glowing a bright green. The air whipping around me, leaves creating a tornado. Holding a hand out I clench my fist and the root network of the entire forest come alive, grabbing Orcs and pulling them down underneath the soil to suffocate. Boromir stares at me in fear and awe and even a little arousal, his breath uneven as he feels the power radiating from me. "Die, Filth of Morgoth." I say deeply, the remaining lesser orcs try to flee only to be shot down by my husband. Stars and galaxies shoot from his bow, erupting in explosions that destroy the filth.

I close my eyes and sense. Tugging a few orcs down under the ground when I see them hiding. I look around for a moment and feel no more Uruk anywhere near us. I use Seaweed to quench any stray flames Gandalf may have accidentally ignited using his whip. I land back on the ground gracefully and open my eyes to look to everyone. "Anyone injured???" I ask urgently rushing over to Boromir who's still tied to a rock. I proceed to manhandle him, looking over his body with a keen eye. "Does it hurt anywhere?" I ask him with full seriousness. Not wanting to lose my streak of having nobody die on me.

"N-No I am fine- why are-" he looks at me with confusion, still panting trying to catch his breath.

"You were supposed to die tonight Boromir." I look him in the eyes and release him from the vines, stepping back and away from him.

"What..?" His eyes widen and he gawks at me.

"That's not all, because of your death. Your father killed himself via fire in the story after finding your brother deathly injured after you fell. I am saving the man the heartbreak. Nobody dies on my watch, even if they're an asshole." I glare at him and he stares at me in awe.

"Faramir-" Boromir stands up and nearly trips, eyes filled with concern for his brother.

"Was and is fine. He healed up nicely, he will heal even better once I give him the medicine after he's injured." I say with a small smile to the man. "Come! We ride for Rohan, Gandalf needs to heal the King." I toss some seeds around and create some horses for us. A little sad Chestnut went with Merry and Pippin.. but know it was for the best.

"What about food?" Gimli says mournfully.

"You have Lembas Gim, plus the horses will grow whatever fruit or Vegetable, hell even leafy meat if you desire." I say with a dismissive wave to the dwarf.

"Wahoo!" Gimli says with excitement, rushing over to the tiny horse that allows him to climb inside. He sets his axe down and gets comfortable, the horses back opening up to allow him to sit up comfortably so he may eat.

Gandalf looks to me, walking over to his horse. "My dear, you said something about Eodin King?" Eyes full and serious.

"Yes, he's being controlled by Saruman. The fucking git." I say with a huff, hopping into my horse with my husband's.

"I see.. Thank you for the information my dear. Let us make haste!" He says with a nod, walking to his own horse. They begin to run in unison the second he sits down. All of our things on the boats being held within more horses. I put the boats in the bank so they won't be washed away.

Chapter Text

Written: November 24th, 2024

- Next Day -

Riding through the fields of Edoras.. or wherever the fuck we are. On the back of a horse I've named Pistachio or Pistash. I keep my eyes peeled, ordering all of the plant horses to have defenses ready if the Riders of Rohan were to fire at us. Gandalf is riding Shadowfax who was excited when he finally found him. I made the old man a saddle using branches and soft plants, Shadowfax even gave me a kiss in thanks because it was so comfy. I squealed and kissed him back all over his face, he looked to Kili and Legolas with a horse smirk.

Sensing a disturbance in the force, feeling thundering hoofbeats in the grass my eyes widen. "We've got incoming! Riders of Rohan!" I call out to everyone and slow all the horses down.

"Why are we stopping? They are merely patrolling-" Boromir says with a look of confusion to me.

"Nega-tory, B-man. Eodin kicked out his own son from the kingdom because of Saruman... And to be completely honest? I wanna meet Eomer, Hes hot as hell." I smirk to Boromir who shakes his head, looking at me in disbelief. He eyes my husband's who both sigh loudly, shaking their heads.

We see the riders running up to us fast, spears and weapons drawn. "Riders of Rohan! What news from the Mark?" Aragorn speaks out looking to the riders. Eomer once he's in range looks at our horses- except Shadowfax- in suspicion.

"What business does two elves, two men, a wizard and two dwarves have in the Riddermark? On these monstrous creatures?! Speak before I kill you!" He growls and I feel shivers go up my spine.

"See? Hot." I whisper to Kili who shakes his head fondly. I clear my throat and compose myself. I trot up to the man on Pistach, a friendly smile on my face. "I am the Druid of the Valar, Eomer son of Eodin. Ellen, at your service."  He squints at me with suspicion.

"So, you are a witch?" He claims, some of the riders point their spears on me. No doubt afraid of magic because, ya know, humans. Kill because they don't understand. Yadda yadda..

"That's a rude term." I scowl at him, looking him up and down. "Very ungentlemanly.. not very princely of you... I prefer the term Druid or woods woman." I huff out while crossing my arms, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Fuck sakes, do I need to whip out the titles?" I turn to Legolas and ask him, he nods with a fond smile to me. Knowing I have control of the situation, I could lay these men flat on their ass with a twitch of my pinkie.

"Speak quickly!" Eomer says with a glare.

"Fine!" I take a dramatic inhale of breath. "I am Princess Ellen Paige, Slayer of Smaug the Terrible. Destroyer of the Balrog: Durin's Bane. Killer of Azog the Defiler and his spawn. Blight of Orcs and Goblins. Druid and hand of the Valar." I gasp for breath dramatically which makes Aragorn crack a smile, Gimli chuckles into his hand. Eomer's eyes widen a fraction but he keeps a neutral face. "Does that cover everything?" I turn to Kili who nods with a smile, shaking his head at me in amusement. Aragorn facepalms with a loud sigh.

"Yeah pretty much love.. Let's introduce ourselves proper then, I am Prince Kili of Erebor. This is Prince Legolas Thrandurilion of the Greenwood." He points to Legolas who nods to him. "Gimli son of Gloin." He points to the dwarf who's scowls at him. "Gandalf." He points and Gandalf smiles at the man. "Boromir son of the Steward of Gondor.. then we have Aragorn, son of Arathorn." Kili says with a chipper smile, Eomer's eyes remain wide as he looks at us with a scowl.

"What is your business here in the Riddermark?" He asks with a growl, gripping onto his spear tightly.

"We're currently on a side mission to heal your father at the moment. Uruk-Hai- the orcs that walk in sunlight- are on the way to destroy your kingdom as we speak." I explain to the man with a sigh.

"Gandalf Greyhame, does this witch speak true?" Eomer looks to Gandalf who smiles at him, happy he is remembered even with a change in wardrobe.

"Not a witch..." I grumble under my breath with a huff.

"Yes your majesty. She does speak true." Gandalf nods his head to the Prince.

"Your dad's under the control of a wizard gone to the dark side. Gandalf is gonna heal him." I gesture to the wizard, Eomer looks to me once more. "Care to escort us?" I smile to him. "It will save us the hassle of trying to find you again later." I shrug my shoulders and he looks to his men who nod.

"Follow us on your.. horses.." he says with a firm nod. "I hope they can keep up." He says with a hidden smirk.

"Pfft. Bring it on big boy!" I cackle with glee, Pistachio snorts out with competitiveness. "Pistash will kick your ass!"

- Next Day - Rohan -

"Y'all stay out here! We'll come and get you once he's all healed!" I tell Eomer who nods his head, stopping just outside the city.

"I wish you luck, Gandalf Stormcrow." Eomer nods his head to us as we continue on.

Riding through the city, the guards stare at us in confusion, fear and awe. Approaching the castle with great speed we soon come upon it, stopping just outside my horses move to the side and wait as we dismount.

Gandalf leads the charge garbed in a grey robes that covers his white one, I left my weapons on Pistachio because I know they're gonna take em anyways. "Ah! Good afternoon my good man! I seek an audience with Théoden King!"

"Théoden? I've been calling him Eodin this entire time!" I whisper to Kili with a scowl on my face.

"Sounds the same out loud love, don't worry." He whispers back with a smile.

"I cannot allow you before Théoden king so armed, Gandalf Grayhame. By order of… Gríma Wormtongue." The guard says with a loud sigh, a scowl on his face. Everyone begins to remove their weapons, setting them into the table. Gimli reluctantly sets his axe down with a huff. "My lady?" The guard looks to me, seeing that I didn't place any weapons on the table.

"Oh, I don't have any weapons sir.. I am just our groups healer." I say nervously, thinking of Legolas tied up blindfolded and moaning to get myself to blush like a virgin maiden.

"I see." He nods his head with a small smile, he looks to Gandalf. Sucker. "Your staff."

"Eh? Oh... You would not part an old man from his walking stick?" Gandalf says with a sad frown on his face, leaning heavily onto the staff.

"I..." The man pauses for a moment, looking at him. "Certainly not." He nods and allows us to pass.

Gandalf winks at Legolas while we walk inside, I scowl when I see Grima whispering into the kings ear as we approach. "The courtesy of your hall is somewhat lessened of late, Théoden King." Gandalf says with a frown as we approach.

Grima whisper's into the kings ear, his eyes landing on me. "Why should I welcome you, Gandalf Stormcrow?" The king wheezes out weakly, looking like a dead man walking.

"A just question my liege." Grima nods with a smile. "And why would they allow a woman within their party?" Grima says with a frown aimed at me, his eyes looking at me hungrily. Grima stands up from where he was leaning on the throne next to the king. "Late is the hour in which this conjurer chooses to appear. Ill news is an ill guest."

"Be silent! Keep your forked tongue behind you teeth. I have not this far and gone through many troubles to bandy crooked words with a witless worm!" Gandalf growls at Grima, revealing his staff in hand.

"Whoop his ass Gandalf!" I whisper to him with a feral grin. Reaching into my pouches to grab seeds in preparation.

"His staff! I told you to take the wizard's staff!" Grima yells out in fear. "STOP HIM!" The guards begin to advance, I toss seeds around and they burst from their shells. Grabbing guards and pinning them to the floor, Grima gasps and looks at me with fear.

Gandalf advances towards the king who sits still, like a puppet without its master. "Théoden, Son of Théngel. Too long have you sat in the shadows." Gandalf's voice roars through the halls. "Harken to me! I release you from the spell." Gandalf points his staff towards the king, the room slowly begins to darken.

"You have no power here Gandalf the Grey." Théoden's voice deepens considerably, darkness emitting from every pour as Saruman speaks through him. I shiver at the temperature drop.

"I will draw you Saruman, as poison is drawn from a wound!" Gandalf looks to me, Gandalf rips his robe off dramatically, Théoden's eyes widen in surprise.

"If I go, Théoden dies." Saruman laughs menacingly, the room almost pitch black.

"You did not kill me. You will not kill him!" Gandalf forces the king against his throne with the power of his staff.

"Rohan is mine!" Saruman hisses through Théoden glaring at Gandalf who struggles against the darkness.

"Ellen! To me, my dear!" I dash forward with a grin. Eyes glowing green with my power, Théoden's eyes widen and Saruman gasps in shock. Pressing my hand to Théoden's head, the wind begins to whip around us. Using the power gifted to me by the Valar. Everyone holds their hands up and around their heads to protect themselves from the force of the wind. Gandalf concentrates as Saruman yells through the king.

I growl menacingly as I force the green energy into his body like I did with Thorin all those years ago. "BE GONE FROM MY REALM!!!! THOT!!!" I scream and push my magic out of me completely in an explosion of power, filling the room with green light. Plants begin to grow rapidly everywhere, flowers sprouting in the corners of the room. Vines hang from above, blankets of moss growing on the pillars. Théoden screams as black goo pours form his mouth, sizzling and disappearing quickly. He begins to seize, eyes rolling into the back of his head.

Gandalf frowns and concentrates, pouring more of his own power into him. I watch as Théoden begins to look healthier and healthier.. I pour some of my magic in as well, helping the man... Who gasps loudly, eyes wide and alert. His daughter pushes away Aragorn and rushes towards the king with fear filled eyes. "Father!" She stands before her father with a look of worry.

"I.. I know your face...." The mans eyes begin to return to a healthy color, no longer white. "Èowyn... Yes Èowyn... My daughter.." The king smiles at her, skin turning healthy. He looks around and sees Gandalf and me, I pant loudly from the amount of energy I just exerted. "Gandalf..? What.. what on middle earth has happened to my throne room?" He looks around the room in shock.

"Breathe the free air again, my friend." Gandalf says with a big smile on his face.

"Ah.. sorry for the plants sir.." I grimace while looking around the room. Théoden looks around and nods his head, feeling.. fresher with the greenery.

"Dark have been my dreams of late... These plants make me feel better..." He looks around the room with a smile.

"Your fingers would remember their old strength better if they grasped your old sword my friend." Gandalf smiles, I release all the guards from where they're pinned. A guard comes up and hands the king his sword when he asks for it.

Théoden draws his sword and looks at it for a moment.. before looking to Grima who cowers at the end of the staircase. He tries to flee outside the castle but is stopped when Théoden kicks him down with a scowl of rage. "Argh!" He cries out in pain as he lands on the hard stone. "I've only ever served you my lord." Grima whimpers as he crawls backwards.

"Your leechcraft would have had me crawling on all fours like a mindless beast!" He roars out with rage, stalking towards him like a cat.

"Send me not from your side!" Grima pleads to the king, clasping his hands together. Aragorn goes to stop him but I stop Aragorn, Théoden strikes down Grima with a single hit. Chopping his head off, it rolls away and hits a guards foot. Blood gushes from Grima's body, pooling on the stone.

"Why?? Why did you stop me??" Aragorn looks to me in shock.

"Because, he assaulted a fucking King Aragorn! He brainwashed him with the help of Saruman! There was no way to redeem him!" I say with a scowl aimed at the man who looks distraught. "He was going to die anyway, by his precious masters hand." I say with a scowl of rage on my face.

"Hail, Théoden, King!" Aragorn says with a frown is sadness. The crowd kneels before their king.

"Where is Théodred? Where is my son?" He asks with a frown on his face. Oh yeah.. he had three kids..

"He has fallen your majesty.." I say with a frown, his gaze snaps to me with wide eyes. "Whilst controlled by Grima you locked him up.. he died in the dungeons." Théoden chokes on air. "Your son Eomer was banished, but is currently waiting outside the kingdom to return your grace..." Legolas and Kili both think. 'where was this 'Your Grace' talk when they weren't married??'

"I.. prepare a funeral!" Théoden orders his guard with a scowl, tears running down his face. The guard nods and rushes away.

"Your majesty!" A yells out, we see two children riding on a horse. Looking emaciated and injured. I rush forward and pull my medicine out of my bandolier. Helping the children down I immediately see to their wounds, smearing the goo onto their cuts they heal instantly.

"What has happened?" Théoden says with a frown.

"Wild men and Orcs, Your Grace." I explain with a soft sigh. "An army is coming here to slaughter your people. We must move to Helms Deep.. after the funeral."

"Gandalf-" The king looks to the wizard with a frown.

"She is correct your majesty.. She is a seer and Druid of the Valar." Théoden's eyes widen and he nods his head. Looking to me he looks me up and down.

"I would not think my people's lives would be in the hands of an elf..." He proceeds to mumble under his breath. "Nor a woman for that matter."

"I'm not your typical elf your majesty." I say with a grin, resting my hands on my hips.

- Next Day -

Walking up and down the streets, groups of my horses stand outside homes. Allowing the people within to store their belongings they need, such as dried food. The people ride the horses and look to the king who awaits them.

"Alright! Let us ride!" With a nod I scout the city mentally, not sensing anyone left behind. I huff and turn my horse to run, all of the steeds book it out of the kingdom. The real horses in the center while the pack mule plants on the outside... This is gonna take a while.

Chapter Text

Written: November 24th, 2024

- Previously With Frodo and Sam -
- After leaving Fellowship -

Sam and Frodo lay next to one another, feinting sleep. Fern keeps watch disguised as a patch of grass. Glowing eyes are seen above them, Fern looks and squints. He waits.. knowing who it is who follows them. "You thieves! You thieves… You filthy little thieves! Where is it? Where is it? They stole it from us. My Precious." Gollum whispers to himself with a frown of anger on his face. His face contorts into one of rage as he creeps closer. Not noticing the patch of grass slowly moving closer to him from behind. "Curse them! We hates them! It's ours it is… and we wants it!"

Gollum lunges for Frodo to steal the ring, but is yanked back by Fern who wraps him up in blades of grass like a lasso. "AHH!!" Gollum screeches out, Sam and Frodo sit up with wide eyes.

"Did ya get em Fern?!" Sam asks with an angered look on his face, watching as the grass Hobbit ties up Gollum using grass.

"Sure did boss!" Fern says with a big smile on his face. "Should i switch to the elvish rope?"

"No!! No!! That would hurtses me!" Gollum cries out, trying to bite the grass to rip it apart. But it's stronger then steel.

"Quiet you!" Sam growls at Gollum with a scowl on his face. "I say we tie em up anf leave em! We don't need him when we've got mister Fern!"

"No! That would kill us, kill us!" Gollum cries out, thrashing around in the grass rope. "We'll be nice to them, if they'll be nice to us. Take it off us! We swears to do what you wants. We swears!" Gollum says with a pleading gaze the rope tight on his form.

"There's no promise you can make that I can trust." Frodo crosses his arms and looks down at the altered hobbit.

Gollum gets on his knees in front of Frodo pleadingly, choking slightly on the grass rope. "We swears to serve the Master of the Precious. We will swear on- on the Precious!" Gollum says with a frantic nod of his head, a smile on his face.

"The Ring is treacherous. It will hold you to your word." Frodo says with a brow raise, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yes… we swears on the Precious… on the Precious." Gollum nods his head eagerly.

"Mister Fern here will make sure you keep out of trouble!" Sam says with a scowl. Gollum looks to the plant Hobbit that holds him prisoner.

"You know the way to Mordor? Correct?" Frodo asks Gollum. "You've been there before?"

"Yes. We has!" Gollum nods his head with a smile.

Frodo looks to Fern who nods, releasing the malformed Hobbit who looks surprised. He looks to Frodo with wide eyes. "You will lead us to the Black Gate." Frodo says with a nod.

"Yes! We's knows the way!" Gollum jumps up and down with a smile.

- Next Day -

"To the Gate, to the Gate! To the Gate, the masters says. Yes!" Gollum sings with a smile, his face quickly changes into a scowl. "No! We won't go back. Not there. Not to him. They can't make us. Gollum! Gollum!" He coughs out with a sneer, his face quickly morphs to one of innocence. "B-But we swore to serve the master of the precious!" Gollum says to himself pleadingly, his face changes again into a sneer. "No! Ashes and dust and thirst there is, and pits, pits, pits. And Orcses, thousands of Orcses. And always the Great Eye watching, watching."

Gollum runs a bit ahead, Sam's eyes widen and he goes to run after him but is stopped by Fern. Who shakes his head at Sam. Gollum pokes his head over a small rock and say. "This way Hobbitses! Follow me!"

- With Merry and Pippin -
- Just after leaving Fellowship -
- Third Person POV -

Merry and Pippin hold onto the plant horse for dear life as it leaps and swerves around the dense trees. "Bloody hell!" Pippin says when he gets smacked in the face with a branch. Chestnut snorts and opens his chest to the hobbits to better protect them as he maneuvers through the dense dark forest.

They soon come to a stop, both Hobbits look around in confusion. "Oy? What's up Chestnut?" Merry asks the plant horse.

"Hello little ones." Both Hobbits yell in fright, turning around they see a large tree man step out of his camouflage. "Mother said you would arrive.. I am Groot." Groot nods to them with a warm smile on his face.

"Finally arrived have they?" Both Hobbits look up and nearly piss themselves at the huge talking tree standing behind them. "Are these the hobb'its you told me of?" Treebeard says looking at the shirelings with intrigue.

"Yes mister Treebeard. These are who we have been waiting for." Groot nods to the Ent who steps forward. He reaches down and picks up both Hobbits in his hands.

"Look little odd don't they?" Treebeard says as he moves them around in his hand, as if inspecting a barbie doll.

"Careful!" Pippin yells out, holding onto the Eny for dear life.

"So.. they are not Orcs?" Treebeard looks to Groot who shakes his head.

"No, they are Hobbits! Created by Yavanna after the Ents slept. Mama told me so." Groot smiles up at the large ent who hums.

"You wish to go to the Entmoot then? Hm? That is what Groot has told me." Treebeard holds the hobbits close to his face so he can hear them better.

"Y-Yes sir! Ellen the druid told us to tell you that Saruman is burning the forests around Isengard! He has joined with Sauron!" Merry says to the Eny who's face looks on in surprise.

"What? Certainly not! The white wizard has made an oath to protect the forests!" Treebeard says with a loud huff and scowl.

"Well, you've got nothing to worry about if we just go check? Right?" Pippin says with a slight smirk.

"Harrumph..." Treebeard looks at the two of them and nods, setting the Hobbits onto his shoulders before setting off. Groot not on his heels. "Let us see!"

- Path to Helms Deep -

- Ellen POV - Present -

Eyes closed I concentrate around us, keeping my eyes on the forest while Pistash follows the horse in front of him. Sensing Wargs approaching I flick my head and grab them with branches from trees. They whine loudly and cry out in the woods. "What in blue blazes?!" Gimli says from his plant pony beside me.

"Wargs. Orc party is close behind, I'll cull them the moment they get in-" sensing them enter my range of vision I scowl in dislike and begin to rip them apart. Using there corpses as fertilizer, the sounds of orcish screams and metal hitting metal are heard in the forest around us.. before silence. "They're dead." I say calmly, keeping my eyes closed to continue to monitor the forest.

"What is your Druid doing?" Théoden says with a look of perplexion on his horse.

"She is defending us using the forest." Aragorn explains to the man who looks surprised.

"We have soldiers, we can protect ourselves."

"I have learned she has a.. dislike of losing people in battle." Boromir says with a small smile growing, remembering how she tied him to a fucking rock to make sure he wouldn't get himself killed.

"You have that right!" Legolas chuckles nearby, a smile on his face.

- Helms Deep -  Few Days Later -

After DAYS of battling orcs and silently slaughtering them while they move through the woods to keep the people safe. We have finally reached Helms Deep. The soldiers help the woman and children into the fortress. The Fellowship and the king all gather in the war room. I step off to change and when I come back I'm dressed in my Smaug armor. "Your majesty." I walk up to the king, sword at my side.

"Yes Druid?" He looks me up and down. "Why are you garbed for war? A lady should not be fighting." He says with concern in his gaze, not wanting a delicate woman to fight and possibly be harmed.

I scowl at the king, angry about the blatant sexism. "I killed a dragon your grace, these Orcs are nothing. Allow me to defend your people's, so no innocent blood may be shed." I know the fucker plans to use all the young men to fight, even if they aren't soldiers. Many die in the movies. The most notable death being Haldir! He may be an ass, but he's hot so he doesn't deserve to die.

"You plan on taking on an entire army of Orcs?" He bawks at me with wide eyes, shocked that I think I can accomplish it.

"She has slain bigger forces King Théoden. She culled thousands of Orcs within Moria and the battle for Erebor." Legolas steps forward, dressed for battle as well. All we need to do is wait for the Orc army to arrive.

"Hmh.." the king takes a long deep breath while he looks at me. "You trust in her battle prowess?" He looks to Gandalf who nods his head.

"I have seen her work first hand my friend. She is a one woman army. I reckon she is worth ten thousand soldiers alone!" Gandalf says with a chuckle.

"If Gandalf Stormcrow vouches for you.. I see no reason to restrict your fighting.." The king nods to me and I sigh loudly with relief.

"Thank you, Your Majesty. I shall not disappoint you, I have already sent some of my creations to guard the women and children." I say with a smile and nod, taking a military type stance.

"Creations? Like your queer horses?" Eomer asks with a squint of curiosity.

"Yes, except they're humanoid in shape. They're known as Groot's, similar to that of Ent's." I say with a nod of my head. "They are fully sentient and will guard them with their lives. They will even grow fresh fruits for the children to eat." I smile warmly at the king who nods his head.

- Next Day -

"Alright, the shit show is today i reckon." I say to Legolas and Kili as we all approach the Ramparts. Vines growing up the sides of them act as defense against arrows. I stand near the wall and close my eyes. Fully focused on sensing around the entire fortress and mountain side.

After a good while of nothing.. I finally feel something and freeze. "Legolas, we've got incoming." I say to him and he nods, giving a hand signal all of the soldiers get into positions. Should I fail in my defense, the will be able to pick up the slack.

I crack my back with a grunt and jump up onto the wall of the rampart. "Love?" Kili asks with concern, Eomer looks at me as if I am crazy from where he's stationed. Aragorn and Boromir just sigh, looking embarrassed.

"Let us prepare a beautiful symphony of screams!" I say while holding my arm down at my side, shooting spores next to me. Thick brambles appear around me.. as well as a small flower... That begins to sing Beethoven's fifth symphony. I hold my hands up like a conductor, using a tiny stick. "DUN DUN DUN DUNNNN!!" I prime all the plants in the forest, a grin of excitement on my face. "DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!" I sing with glee, all the soldiers look at me with confusion. Having never heard such music before. The second I feel the last orc, seeing them rush towards the Keep.. I flick my the stick and begin the slaughter. Cackling madly as a plant beside me plays the symphony

Roots and trees come alive, picking Orcs up and ripping them apart. The roots dragging them underground to suffocate. Mangled orcs try to escape towards the keep but are dragged back into the forest. Théoden stares on with wide eyes filled with horror as the ground is quickly stained black with orc blood. "AHAHHAAA!" I cackle madly which alarms some of the Rhohirim. Any arrows shot at us are deflected by branches who whip at them, snapping them in half in the air.

"WHAT BEAUTIFUL MELODIES!!! SCREAM!! SCREAM FOR YOUR LIVES!!!" Legolas looks to me with concern but I brush him off, too focused on protecting the keep. Eyes glowing green with power, my hands moving around crazily as I slaughter multiple orcs at once.

"I cannae see!" Gimli says with a frown, I lift him up using a briar idly. He squeaks out but is now able to look over the rampart. "Thank yae auntie!" Gimli says with me with a smile.

An explosion rings out in the forest, I giggle crazily. "What was that?!" Eomer yells out in alarm.

"They were going to explode the rampart to get in!" I explain while snapping necks and thrashing around Orcs like crazy. Grabbing an orc I proceed to hold it like an action figure and smack it against others to kill them.

- One Hour Later -

It's goes silent and I exhale loudly, completely tired from what just occurred. "Ah.. now that was fun!" I say with a giggle of glee, my eyes returning to their normal color.

"You.." Theoden looks to me in awe.

"A thousand Orcs slaughtered your grace. I even killed the ones trying to sneak in through the sewers." I turn to him and give him my full attention, a smile on my face. "Snapped their necks using the roots." I shrug.

"You.. are an incredible woman.." Eomer says, his jaw dropped.

"Hehe. Thank you." I curtsey with a wink towards him.

Chapter Text

Written: November 26th, 2024

- Few Days Later -

"They're taking the hobbits to Isengard- to Isengard- to Isengard- they're taking the hobbits to Isengard-" I bounce from side to side on Pistash while I sing.

"My love please." Legolas begs me as we all begin to ride to Isengard.

"I'm sorry! It's ya own damn fault Leggy!" I say with a snort, singing the song in my head while still bouncing.

"I've never once uttered those words in that order my love." Legolas says with a sigh of fondness.

"You did in the play, then a human remixed it into a catchy tune. Not my fault it's etched into my brain like a fuckin cave man painting." I huff out with a frown, beginning to hum it while still bouncing.

Trotting closer and closer to Isengard I frown when I see the state of the forest. It's barren and covered in stumps, the soil completely destroyed. Any vegetation is gone and burnt. I feel a pulse in my chest, knowing I need to repair this. "I'm gonna stick back and do druid things." I tell my husbands who both turn to look at me in confusion.

"Are you sure my love?" Kili asks with his brow furrowed in concern, stopping his horse from advancing towards Isengard.

"Yeah... Groot is gonna rend Saruman limb from limb for what he's done to this forest." I say with a glare of hatred aimed towards the tower. I hold out my hand and shoot spores to the ground, a mushroom begins to grow quite quickly. Triffid workers are grown and get to work, walking over to the trunks stuck in the soil. I use my powers to loosen the roots so they may be picked up and out of the ground.

The triffids proceed to drag the stumps to a pile to be burnt, I'll have them collect the ashes to be sewn into the soil later. My husband's move on and follow the group while I begin my work. I create peashooter's filled with seeds, they walk around and shoot them into the soil. Growing a variety of plants to refurbish the forest. I close my eyes and think of Ent's, but female and toss a seed into the soil. It begins to grow, slowly. I know I've got my work cut out for me.

- Third Person POV -

"Well you lads have been having a fun time aye?" Gimli says with a loud laugh, looking to the hobbits who enjoy themselves.

"Oh aye! We're taking in the spoils of our hard work convincing the Ent's! We're under orders to wait here from Treebeard, who's taken over management of Isengard." Pippin explains with a grin, smoking on some tobacco. "Oh! Here he comes now!" Pippin points to the huge Ent walking over to the group. The riders begin to look unsettled, having never seen such a creature before. The Ent's have been asleep for a LONG time.

Treebeard walks over to Gandalf, standing just before him. Looking down at the tiny wizard compared to his immense size. "Young master Gandalf, I am glad you have come... Wood, water, stock and stone I can master.. But there's a Wizard to manage here, locked up tight in his tower." Treebeard looks to Isengard with a frown on his oaky face.

"Yes my friend, we shall take care of your.. infestation." Gandalf says with a deep sigh, urging Shadowfax on. They see Groot standing at the bottom of the tower with some other Ent's, making sure that Saruman can't try to escape.

Aragorn speaks up loudly with a frown etched onto his face towards the tower. "Show yourself! White wizard!"

"Be careful my boy, even in defeat Saruman is quite dangerous." Gandalf rests a hand on Aragorn's shoulder, staring up at the tower with concern.

"Then let's just have his head and be done with it." Gimli huffs out with a frown on his face. "Ellen said that he dies anyway! It would only take a minute!"

"No, we need him alive for now. We need him to talk. Perhaps he has more information we may have use for, my dear dwarf." Gandalf says with a mischievous smile to the dwarf who raises a brow to the wizard.

"As long as the bugger is killed in the end, I dunnae think auntie Ellen will care." Gimli shrugs his shoulders, leaning back on his pony to get comfortable. Eating some fruit while he prepares to watch the shit show.

"Nephew Gimli is correct." Groot steps forward with a smile on his face, Gandalf and Ellen's husband's recognize him from their time in Erebor. "As long as he is slain, my mother cares not. She doubts he will offer any information at all." Groot comments to the wizard who hums.

"Troublesome indeed...." he mumbles to himself with a sigh. "Saruman!!! Show yourself!!!" Gandalf yells out with a frown aimed at the top of the tower.

Saruman peaks his head over the side, staff in hand he frowns. He spots the king riding atop his steed and speaks. "You have fought many wars and slain many men Théoden king, and made peace afterwards." Saruman whips out his silver tongue, infusing it with magic. "Can we not take council together, as we once did, my old friend? Can we not have peace, you and I?"

Théoden glares up at Saruman, the slithering dark magic tries to enter his mind.. but is thwarted by the green magic still within him. His body too pure for it to take hold. "We shall have peace when you answer for the burning of the westfold, and the children that lie dead there! We shall have peace, when the lives of the soldiers, whose bodies were hewn even as they lay dead against the gates of the Hornburg, are avenged! When you hang from a gibbet for the sport of your own crows… we shall have peace." Théoden growls out in anger and rage for what Saruman has done to his kingdom while he was under his control.

Saruman glares at the king, knowing his magic has failed and did not take hold. "Gibbets and crows? You DOTARD!" He barks out, he turns his attention to Gandalf. "What do you want Gandalf Greyhame? Let me guess: the key of Orthanc, or perhaps the key of Barad-dûr itself? along with the crowns of the seven kings and the rods of the five wizards!" Saruman says with a laugh.

Gandalf's brows furrow as he looks up to Saruman. Seeing just how much he has changed.. how tainted he has become. "Your treachery has already cost many lives.. Thousands more are now at risk, but you could save them Saruman. You were deep in the enemy's council."

Saruman chuckles deeply as he looks down to Gandalf. Realizing he has something to bargain with. "So you have come here for information. I have some for you." Saruman pulls out the large orb that connects him to his master. Staring at it intently, his master staring back. "Something festers in the heart of Middle-Earth. Something that you have failed to see. But the Great Eye has seen it. Even now he presses his advantage. His attack will come soon." Saruman smirks as Gandalf moves closer on Shadowfax. "You're all going to die.... But you already know this.. don't you, Gandalf?"

"The only one who will die here is your master!" Aragorn barks out with a glare towards the wizard. Saruman turns his attentions to him. Laughing to himself when he realizes just who he is.

"You cannot think that this Ranger will ever sit upon the throne of Gondor... This.. this exile, crept from the shadows, will never be crowned king." Saruman laughs again as he looks at Aragorn. He flicks his gaze to Gandalf once more before returning to Aragorn. "Gandalf does not hesitate to sacrifice those closest to him, those he professes to love. Tell me… what words of comfort did you give the halfling before you sent him to his doom Gandalf? The path that you have set him on can only lead to his death."

"I've heard enough! Uncle Kili! Uncle Legolas! Shoot him! Stick an arrow in his bloody gob!!" Gimli barks out with a frown of anger on his face. "Shut this bugger up!" Legolas looks to Gimli before looking to Gandalf, wanting his permission.

"No my friend, not quite yet." He says softly to Legolas who nods his head. Gimli sighs loudly in disappointment, wishing he had a bow so he could shoot the bugger himself. "Come down Saruman, and your life will be spared! You still have the power to turn the tide! Return to the light my friend!" Gandalf pleads to the past white wizard.

"Save your pity and your- your mercy. I have no use for it!" Saruman snarls out, holding his staff up he aims at Gandalf and fires. A fireball is thrown out of his staff towards Gandalf who sits still.

The flames around Gandalf diminish quickly, he looks up to his friend with a sigh and speaks. "Saruman, your staff is broken." The staff in his hand shatters to pieces shocking the wizard, he looks to Gandalf in alarm. Realizing just how fucked he is. "Saruman... you were deep in the enemy's council. Tell us what you know!!" He urges a final time.

"Withdraw your guard, and I will tell you where your doom will be decided. I will not be held prisoner here." He sneers out to Gandalf who sighs softly. Knowing that Saruman will tell them nothing, he looks to Groot and nods his head.

Groot presses his hands to the tower and his branches begin to grow rapidly. Saruman gasps when they quickly grow up top, unable to defend himself. Saruman backs away, dropping the Palintir onto the ground. It rolls away and off of the tower. Groot emerges on the top of the tower with a frown on his face. Holding his arm out branches shoot out and impale Saruman. Hitting every single major organ in his body at once, killing him swiftly. Groot retracts his branches and tosses the body to the side, allowing the Ent's to bury it in the soil for nutrients.

Gandalf looks down and sighs mournfully, knowing they lost another Maiar permanently to Morgoth's blight... He collects himself before looking to Théoden. "Send word to all our allies, and to every corner of Middle-Earth that still stands free. The enemy moves against us. They shall strike Gondor next."

Groot leaps down and lands with a thud in the mud. "Mama says that Erebor, Moria and Greenwood will be at Gondor. As well as final battle." Groot says with a smile to the wizard.

Pippin looks around and spots the orb in the water, with curiosity of a Took he jumps down off of the horse. "Pippin?" Aragorn says in confusion as the Hobbit grabs the orb from the water.

"Bless my bark!" Treebeard says with wide eyes, the second Gandalf spots it he rushes over.

"Peregrin Took, I'll take that, my boy. Quickly now!" Grabbing it from the Hobbit with a look of worry in his face.

- Ellen POV -

"What I miss?" I say as I trot over to the group on Pistash, a smile on my face. A neigh is heard and I look over, seeing Chestnut running over to me. "My baby!" I squeal with happiness, jumping off Pistash and onto Chestnut who happily snorts. Side eyeing the other horses with a smirk. "Pip found the Palintir did he?" I move over to Gandalf and whisper when I see him holding the orb.

"Yes he did my dear." Gandalf says with a nod.

"Here." I hand Gandalf a seed which he takes with confusion. "Press it to the ball, it will encase it so nobody can open it except me. We already know Sauron's gonna attack Gondor. No need to endanger the Hobbits further." I say with a shrug, not wanting the hobbits anywhere near an active warzone.

"Good thinking my dear, yes I do think that is best." Gandalf presses the seed to the crystal orb, watching as thick vines begin to grow around it. Encasing the stone and not revealing a single crevice to peek through.

"Treebeard my good man?" I look up to the Ent who peers down at me.

"Hm? Yes Druid?" He leans down so he's closer to me, the sound of creaking wood is heard.

"There are some single Ent woman waiting in the forest I just made." I grin at him playfully, wiggling my brows to him. "I want you to help them acclimate, I know you lost all of your Ent-wives to Saruman.." I say with a sad smile to the Ent.

"I.. thank you druid. We are in your debt." Treebeard gently takes my hand And shakes it with a smile. He stands back up and walks towards the forest with other Ents.

"Alright, let's get going! I am poop'ed!" I exclaim with a huff, turning Chestnut to walk towards Rohan. "They're taking the hobbits to Isengard.." I sing to myself while trotting down the path, Legolas groans while Kili and Gimli chuckle at his misery. All of us headed back to Théoden's home to party.

- Edoras - Golden Hall -
-  Few Days Later -

Dressed in a dress, I sigh loudly with a frown. I don't mind wearing dresses on my own terms, but if it's required then I get pissy. I walk out of the room I was given, freshly clean and smelling of flowers. Heading into the hall I see the soldiers and everyone else.

"Tonight we remember those who gave their blood to defend this country... To the men and woman who fell due to Saruman's manipulations. Hail the victorious dead!" Théoden holds up a goblet filled with mead.

Everyone cheers out 'Hail' before drinking from their mugs. I sigh and walk over to my husband's seeing them with Eomer and Gimli.

"No pauses and no spills." Eomer instructs the two of them before handing them mugs.

"And no regurgitation." Gimli says to the elf who nods his head.

"So it's a drinking game?" Legolas says with a tilt of his head.

"Aye, Last one standing wins." Kili says with a chuckle as he watches the chaos. I sigh at them and sit in my husband's lap. Knowing I'll have to make some hangover cutes before I can go to bed tonight.

Legolas sips on his drink and hums with wide eyes. Finding this mead delicious, he is used to wine and ale from dwarves. And my alcoholic cider I make at home.. as well as my Moonshine. Gimli guzzles down the ale. "Don't make yourself sick Gim." I chastise him and he huffs out, Eomer filling his mug once more.

"I'll be fine auntie!" Gimli waves me off and chugs the second mug full.

"Your funeral." I shrug and watch my other husband chug down the drinks as well. After a good while..

"It's the dwarves that go swimming with little hairy women~" Gimli sings drunkenly, swaying in his seat.

Legolas looks down at his hands with wide eyes. "I feel something. A slight tingling in my fingers. I think it's affecting me." He looks to me and I shake my head.

"What did I say? He cannae hold his liquor!" Gimli boasts before falling out of his chair, passing out on the floor.

"Game over." Legolas smirks smugly, finishing his mug of ale. I flick my fingers and a Triffid picks Gimli up off the floor. Walking through the castle to take his clothes off and deposit him in his room.

Aragorn approaches us with a look of concern, Boromir at his side. "Is there any news of Frodo?" He asks me as he sips his ale.

"They've encountered Gollum and he's leading them to Shelob's lair right about now I reckon. They're making good headway." I nod my head to Aragorn, Boromir looks concerned.

"Spawn of Ungoliant?" Boromir asks with furrowed brows.

"Mhm. She guards the back door into Mordor, often killing Orcs." I shrug with a sigh. "Fern will make sure that they're not harmed. Don't worry." I take a sip of my cider. "Gandalf and I are heading to Gondor full speed. We'll meet you all there when you can."

"Why must you go to Gondor so soon my love?" Kili asks with a tilted head as he rubs my legs.

"An army is headed there. I'm heading over first to make defenses to lessen the lives lost." I explain to my husband who nods in understanding.

"Thank you Druid for protecting my people's.. I admit I was wrong about you originally." Boromir admits with a blush on his cheeks, no doubt buzzed.

"Think nothing of it B-man." I smile to him and pat him on his arm with my free hand.

- Next Day -

"GASSS GASSS GAS! I WANNA STEP ON THE GAS!" I sing as Shadowfax sprints full speed beside me and Chestnut. Gandalf shakes his head with a smirk of amusement. "Tonight I'll fly! And be your lover!!"

- Gondor -

Riding up the stairs of Gondor, headed to the throne room. I see a huge bald white tree standing alone. "Eyy! G! Look it's the white tree that's on Boromir's tabard!" I point to the huge tree as we approach. "Looking worse for wear though.." I say with a frown, feeling how depressed the tree is. I try to give it a nudge to help it but it practically huffs and calls me a baka. Acting like a fucking tsundere.

"Yes, that is the White Tree of Gondor my dear, the tree of the King." Gandalf says with a smile and nod. "Though Lord Denethor however is not the king. He is a steward only. A caretaker of the throne... The White Tree will never bloom until a king is crowned I fear..." He says with a sigh as we dismount and begin to walk towards the castle.

"Why guard a dead tree?" I ask Gandalf with complete confusion. It's like guarding a fucking rock. Pointless.

"They guard it because they have hope. A faint and fading hope that one day it will flower once more. That a King will come and this city will be as it once was, before it fell into decay... The old wisdom borne out of the west was forsaken. Kings made tombs more splendid than the houses of the living, and counted the old names of their descent dearer than the names of their sons. Childless lords sat in aged halls musing on heraldry, or in high cold towers asking questions of the stars. And so the people of Gondor fell into ruin. The line of kings failed. The white tree withered. The rule of Gondor was given over to lesser men."

"So.. Denethor?" I say with a smirk to Gandalf who laughs loudly and nods.

"Yes. Denethor." The guard opens the doors for us and we enter the throne room. Seeing Denethor lounging on his throne. Gandalf clears his throat and speaks clearly and loudly. "Hail, Denethor, son of Ecthelion, Lord and Steward of Gondor. I come with tidings in this dark hour… and with counsel."

"Perhaps you've come to explain this." He holds up a broken horn that Boromir used. So that's where that went.. "Perhaps you've come to tell me why my son is DEAD!!" He glares at Gandalf with grief in his gaze.

"He's not dead your majesty, I made sure of that myself. He's on his way here but is.. constrained to real live horses and not the beasts I control." Denethor squints at me with suspicion.

"My Lord. The enemy is on your doorstep! As Steward, you're charged with the defense of this city. Where are Gondor's armies?? You still have friends. You're not alone in this fight. Send word to Théoden of Rohan. Light the beacons!!" Gandalf urges the man, knowing that me alone won't be able to defend this huge city with an army of that size on its way.

"You think you are wise, Gandalf, yet for all your subtleties you have not wisdom. Do you think the eyes of the White Towers are blind? I have seen more than you know. With your left hand you would use me as a shield against Mordor. And, with your right, you seek to supplant me! I know who rides with Théoden of Rohan. Oh, yes. Words have reached my ears of this Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and I tell you now: I will not bow to this- this Ranger from the north. Last of a ragged house long bereft of Lordship!" Denethor says with a sneer to Gandalf that makes me sigh loudly. I'm already so done with this mans shit.

"Authority is not given to you to deny the return of the King, Steward!" Gandalf snaps out with a frown, slamming his staff into the ground.

"Get out of Aragorn's chair." I say with a steely glare, clenching my fists at my sides. "Before I make you move." I snarl at him, the air begins to move creating a small breeze.

"You threaten me, girl?" Denethor laughs at me with amusement.

"Now I see where Boromir gets his sexism from." I huff and toss seeds at Denethor, he squints in confusion but yells when they open and begin to tie him up. "I am the Druid of the Valar you fucker. Get out of my friends seat!" Denethor is dragged from his seat and tied to a wall, yelling into a gag.

"My dear, I feel that will be a bad idea." Gandalf looks to me in worry. I wave him off.

"Don't worry about it, G. I don't need him to defend the city while we wait for backup." I turn around and proceed to prepare my defenses.

Chapter Text

Written: November 27th, 2024

Standing within the castle, I stare down with a frown. Tossing a seed to the side, I create a baby Groot who looks up at me. "Light the fires, call Rohan for aid." I look to the plant who nods with a smile, giving me a salute before scurrying off.

Denethor muffledly screams and thrashes around against the vines pinning him to the ceiling. "Time to get to work. If you need me, I'll be on the front lines." I look to Gandalf and nod. Tossing another seed idly it grows quickly into a plant made of colorful vines. "Mimic Denethor." I command it and it stares up at him, the vines shape and morph turning into a plant version of him.. before the leaves around its body change color, transforming the plant creature into a perfect copy.

"Incredible.." Gandalf says with amazement as he looks at the copy.

"Your orders mother?" The plantethor says with a deep gravelly voice.

"Get the army ready to brawl to protect the city. I'll head to the front lines and offer as much protection as I can until Rohan arrives." I command the plant man with a steely gaze as I watch the smoke comes from the previous capital city.

"Certainly, it shall be done." Plantethor bows to me before striding out of the room, he pushes the doors open and looks to a guard. "We are under attack! I want guards active and ready for war!" The real Denethor looks down at his copy with wide eyes filled with shock. He thrashes even more with a scream, wanting the guard to see that he's there.

"Sir?" The guard looks at him with wide eyes. Shocked that the Steward wants to actually defend the city.

"The Druid witch of the Valar shall aid us in defending Minas Tirith while she sends aid to the capital. Hurry! We need troops on the ground to protect the civilians! I want them evacuated to the center ring!!" He barks at the guard who shivers under his scrutiny, grabbing his horn he blows out a specific tune.

I step out onto the terrace and whistle out loudly, Chestnut hearing My command from down below morphs. It's body changing allowing it to climb up the side of the building and reach me quickly. "Gandalf, I want you to provide ariel support please. I can't make flying creatures that well." I admit with a grimace. It took my past bird to be fucking massive in order to take flight, the wings were too huge and didn't make it very maneuverable in the sky.

"Certainly my dear." He nods to me with a smirk. "I shall help defend the sky's."

Jumping onto Chestnut, my armor morphs the dragon atheistic's growing plants. "Let's kick ass." A tiny plant blooms on Chestnuts head, a singing flower that smiles. It begins to sing Thunderstruck as Chestnut crawls down the building. The horse sprints through the city, I toss seeds left and right. Creating more plants that will create alarms and provide defenses.

- Towards Front Gate -
- Minutes Later -

I hear screaming and frown in anger, thick brambles grow on Chestnuts body poised for attack. Drawing My Little Friend with a scowl, we soon come upon the Orcs who've entered the city using ladders. I copy Thranduril on Moose and begin to slice and dice with expertise thanks to Dwalin and Legolas' training. Slaughtering orcs while my armor puffs out clouds of spores. The spores land on the ground and begin to grow into Triffids who will provide defense for the citizens that are still escaping. I even make a few Pea Shooters armed with sharp thorns to take out orcs from the roofs.

Leaping off of Chestnut I roar out, briars forming from my armor acting like Doc Oc. Lifting me off of the ground, I slash and dodge attacks from Orcs. A cloud of Spores create a haze around me, Plant horses begin to grow in mass. Riding off through the battlefield, slaughtering Orcs while they ride to Osgiliath to provide aid and stunt the attack. Their mission is to rescue and kill.

I grunt in pain when I feel an arrow pierce through a gap in my armor. Tossing my sword in the air, a vine grabs it and slashes wide at the archer who shot me. Beheading him within seconds. "Fucker! That hurt!" I grunt with anger, my armor dispensing medicine to the wound. I feel something on my leg and see a Goblin trying to climb up to stab into my helmet. I dig the claws on my armor into its back making it cry in pain, tossing it to the side with a roar. Infecting it with my Cordyceps, it begins to fight for me. Infecting it's comrades to help with my slaughter.

"Audrey!! I could use some help!" I call out to my son through the mental link. Blocking an attack from an Orc using an ironwood branch.

The ground outside the city begins to rumble before the huge plant bursts from the soil with a grin. "You called Mama?" He says with a chuckle, grabbing orcs with his vines and chewing into them with gusto. Sucking them dry of their blood before tossing the corpses to the side.

"Thanks babes!" I leap onto the ramparts, holding my arms out to my sides I dispense spores to create wind lances. Having them focus on the catapults and archers for now. "Fuck this is annoying." I grumble to myself, seeing human soldiers in the distance. I mentally command the plant horses to surround them and provide defense. Tending to the wounded with tentacles of vines.

"Where's fuckin Aragorn??? Or Thorin! He owed me a goddamn favor!" I huff out as I slaughter an Orc with a thought, the vine swinging my sword as if it's my own arm.

Hearing a shriek I sigh loudly, looking up I see a Fell beast and a Nazgul riding it heading our way. The wind lance beside me adjusts it's aim, following the path of the beast.. before firing a spear of ironwood briar. It hits the beast dead center, causing it to fall out of the sky. "Focus on the Fell beasts." I order the wind lance who nods to me by aiming up and down. "God what a shit day.." I sigh even louder, grabbing handfuls of chia seeds in my bandolier. Tossing them out willy nilly, they grow into more battle horses and even Rams. One of them turns into a monitor lizard, they all sprint into the battlefield.

"My lady!" Turning around I see a man with golden hair look up to me. "The trolls are focusing on our Trebuchet's!"

"Ugh.. Fine! Gimmie a sec!" Tossing some seeds along the top of the wall, more Wind Lances begin to grow. They focus on the Trolls and take aim. The sound of a horn breaks my concentration, the wind lanced fire at hit the trolls in the chest. They fall back with groans, landing on Orcs. Looking towards where I heard the sound I laugh. "FINALLY ARRIVED!" A pepper haired Thorin Oakenshield rides atop a large ram, an army of Dwarves behind him.

"BARUK KHAZÂD!!" Thorin bellows out with a grin, from across another hill rides Dwalin on a huge Triffid. Sitting in the flower portion of the plant creature, crossbow in hand.

"DU BEKAR!!!" He continues the battlecry with a grin of excitement, the army of dwarves sprint down the hill. Rams running ahead bleating loudly, hitting trolls and trampling them into the dirt.

"HAHAHA!!!" I laugh loudly with amusement, dashing onto the battlefield with glee. Leaping and stabbing through Orcs and goblins on my large briars that hold me in the air.

I spot a plant horse being ripped apart by two trolls and frown. I dispense more spores as I travel, growing tree horse after tree horse. Even some Groots are made who join in the battle with eagerness.

Hearing another horn, I look and see that Théoden finally arrived. His daughter will not doubt kill the Witch King. Aragorn should be here soon on the pirate ship. "Thorin! Took you long enough!" I comment to him with a laugh, slashing and slaughtering orcs around me with a flick of my wrist. Commanding the vine holding my sword, even grabbing some weapons off of the Orcs to use.

"Sorry my friend! I am not as young as I used to be!" He comments with a laugh, swinging his sword with a grunt.

"Eh! You made it, that's all I could ask for!" I say with a shrug of indifference, stabbing and orc through its stomach with a briar tentacle.

"Who else are we expecting at this party?" Fili asks from nearby, throwing a knife at a goblin. Hitting it in the head it falls over dead, he grabs it and throws it at another. All while slashing and blocking with his sword.

"The elves of Rivendell should be here.. I'm not sure about Thran." I say with a shrug, climbing up a huge Troll who growls and grunts. Trying to pull me off, I flick my wrist and my sword cuts through the back of his neck. Tearing the brainstem off and killing the beast, I leap off the troll before it could fall.

The hoard of orcs slowly begins to diminish and I sigh loudly, cracking my back with a grunt. Thorin rides up to me as my horses finish off the rest. "What is next my friend? It seems there is a far bigger battle ahead, or else you would not have called for my aid."

"You're right Thorin. A big battles gonna happen soon in Mordor.. We're bringing the party to Sauron." His eyes widen at this in surprise.

"I see.. I trust you will make sure my people will remain safe as always?" Br asks me with a raised brow, a smirk on his face.

"Always Thorin." I smile to him and he nods to me in thanks, bidding his Ram to trot towards Minas Tirith.

"Where is the Steward?" He asks me with a raised brow.

"Tied up in the throne room." I shrug my shoulders with indifference.

"What?" He looks to me with wide eyes, we watch as Dwalin approaches on his Triffid. "Why did you tie him up?"

"Who's tied up?" Dwalin asks from his mount, leaning forward to look down at us. "Better not be a sex thing.." he grumbles under his breath with a scowl.

"The Steward." Thorin says to his dear friend.

"Then who's tha?" Dwalin squints in confusion, pointing to Plantethor.

"That's a copy of Denethor. I've dubbed him Plantethor. The coward was going to force his people to flee because he was too scared." I say with a scowl of anger.

"He lacks honor." Thorin grits his teeth with a frown as well. "What do you plan to do with him?"

"Oh.. well uh.. he's slowly dying of a poison that mimics the symptoms of a heart attack.." I admit with a blush of embarrassment. "I know he's Boromir's father.. but he's scum. I can sense the darkness inside of him, my powers are urging me to cleanse it... Through death."

"You've gotten quite cutthroat lass! Hah!" Dwalin barks out a laugh of amusement, we enter the city. We will prepare to bring the party to Sauron.

- Frodo And Sam -
- Third Person POV -

Gollum crawls onto a rock with a smile, leading the two hobbits into a tunnel. Fern keeping a keen eye on the deformed hobbit, having caught him trying to rip apart the group by tossing the Lembas away. Stopping the separation of Frodo and Sam. "There." Gollum points the the small tunnel.

"What is this place?" Frodo asks wearily as he looks at the tunnel with caution.

"Master must go inside the tunnel." Gollum nods his head with a smile.

"Now that I'm here, I don't think I want to." Frodo grimaces as he looks at the dark hole.

"I agree, looks mighty scary in there.. We don't know what's inside!" Sam agrees with his friend with a frown on his face.

Gollum rolls his eyes with a huff. "It's the only way! Go in or go back." He exclaims to them with furrowed brows.

Frodo sighs softly, looking to his friend. "We cannot go back..."

"Aye.. I know.." Sam sighs loudly and they push on, Fern guarding them from behind. Gollum smirks evily when he's out is sight.

As they enter the tunnel, a thick stench of decay fills the air. And an odd musk that he's never smelt before that makes him feel nervous.. like a rabbit that entered a foxes den. "What's that smell?" Frodo whispers to Gollum with his question, watching where he steps. His ears tuned to his surroundings.

"Orcses filth. Filthy Orcses come in here sometimes." Gollum explains with a shrug, quickly scurrying out of view with a grin. "Hurry!"

Frodo and Sam quickly follow after the mutated hobbit. Losing sight of him. "Sméagol?" Frodo calls out with a whisper.

"Over here!" Gollum calls out from the darkness, making Sam frown with suspicion.

"Mister Frodo, I think somethings wrong.." He whispers to his friend as they venture deeper into the tunnel.

Frodo trips on something and steadies himself on a wall, touching a white sticky substance. "Ahh! Yuck! It's sticky! What is it?" Frodo frowns and tries to wipe it off on his jacket with a frown. Fern transforms his hands into a sword and shield in preparation.

"You will see. Oh yes, you will see." Gollum whispers to himself as he watches the Hobbits with a smile.

"Sméagol?" Frodo whispers out, looking for their guide.

"Sméagol? Sméagol!" Sam whispers out slightly louder.

They look to one another and sigh, venturing forward into the darkness. Frodo trips and falls, landing on a sharp surface with a grunt. "Dang it.. it's too dark." He says with a huff as Sam helps him up. "We need light.. what were the words again?" Frodo pulls the vial he was given by Galadriel anf closes his eyes. "Aiya Eärendil Elenion Ancalima!" (Hail Eärendil brightest of the Stars!)

The cavern is light up by the vial, Frodo speaks. "Ugh!" He looks down and sees he landed on animal and humanoid remains. Holding his light up he looks to Sam and his eyes widen, losing the breath in his lungs. "FERN!" he yells out to the plant.

Fern turns on a dime and slashes at Shelob who dodges with a shriek. Barring her fangs at the plant. "Go! I got her!" Fern barks out to the hobbits who both begin to run.

Fern blocks the spiders attacks with his shield, a look of concentration on his plant face. He copy's his masters movements and slashes and stabs at the spider with practiced ease. Slicing at one of the pedipalps cutting it off, Shelob screeches out in pain. "Die!" Fern leaps forward with a roar, stabbing into Shelob's head. Transforming his shield hand into another sword he proceeds to rapidly stab the spider who thrashes around for a moment before curling up and dying. Fern jumps off his body with a loud huff, using his blade he slices off the spiders fangs and venom glands. Storing them within his body, he rushes out of the tunnel to meet with the others.

"Mister Fern! Are you okay??" Sam asks, covered in sweat. Fern looks around noticing that Gollum is missing  "The bloody thing attacked Mister Frodo! Tried to get the ring! We threw him off the cliff sir." Sam says as he pants loudly due to stress.

"The spider is dead, we have Orcs coming. Hide young Hobbits, I shall dispatch the invaders." Fern looks to the hobbits who quickly move to hide behind rocks.

Fern transforms into a patch of grass and awaits his prey... Soon the two Orcs enter the pass with frowns on their faces. Just as they both get in range, Fern grows to normal size behind them and slices both their heads off in one sweep. "It is safe. You may emerge. I shall escort us further. My mother has installed her memories within me, I believe I know the path ahead."

"Thank you mister Fern." Sam says with gratefulness.

- Hours Later - Council - Ellen POV -

Dwalin, Thorin, Elrond, Myself, Gandalf, Aragorn- basically everyone of importance except Thran is here. He's busy babysitting his grandchildren. Plantethor is standing at the head of the table next to me, Boromir looks at his father with confusion. Surprised that he's not cussing me out for being a witch.. or for being in the room. "So what's tha plan?" Dwalin asks with a raised brow to me.

"Well, we need to distract Sauron. Keep his greedy little eye off his kingdom and on us... Basically we need to do the equivalent of streaking." I say with a smirk, snorting in laughter. Everyone who knows me shakes their heads.

Aragorn brings the conversation back to the important parts. "So we draw out Sauron's armies from his fortress, empty his lands of his troops. Then march on to the Black Gate." Aragorn says with conviction, resting his hands into the table showing a map of the region.

"What he said." I point to Aragorn, Dwalin laughs into his hand. Thorin sighs softly, smiling at me.

"We cannot achieve victory through strength of arms." Eomer says with a furrowed brow.

"Dude." I look to the handsome man and shake my head at him. "I have been preparing for this event for almost sixty fucking years." Reaching into my bandolier, I grab my secret weapon. I set the jelly bean like seed that's the size of the palm of my hand onto the table. "This seed will turn the tide of this war." I say with a grin. As well as the others I plants I plan to grow...

"What is it?" Gimli asks me while Legolas leans closer with wide eyes.

"It's known as 'The Last Elemental'. It's from a movie series that I quite enjoyed called Hellboy.. This creature will help purify the land of Mordor while also culling troops. Should it bleed, it's blood creates life." I tell the dwarf who's eyes widen in astonishment.

"I.. I can hear it singing." Legolas says with a smile forming on his face. Elrond nods his head in agreement to the prince, the both of them staring at the seed in awe.

"Why didn't you use this with the dragon??" Thorin looks to me with a look of confusion, wanting to know why I didn't use this. Since I claim it to be my strongest plant.

"Because, my dear friend, Sauron was watching the battle of Erebor. I didn't want to show my hand." I say and he nods his head in understanding. "War is like playing cards, and I have a hell of a poker face." Thorin nods his head to me, Dwalin joining him.

"Well, this plan has a small certainty of death...." Gimli says with a soft sigh, looking to me. "What are we waiting for?" Gimli says with excitement, a grin on his face. I shake my head at the dwarf, smirking at him.

"Sauron will suspect a trap. He will not take the bait." Gandalf says with a frown etched on his face. Worried that this plan will result in failure.

"Oh, I think he will." Aragorn smirks and looks to me, knowing that I know what his plan is.

"I wanna help piss him off!!" I say with excitement and he chuckles, shaking his head.

"Fine, you may accompany me to the Palintir." Aragorn nods with a smile.

"Woohoo!" I jump up with excitement, eagerly following Aragorn to the room where it's being held. Ive always wanted to piss off Sauron!!!

~

We both stand in front of the pedestal holding the branch covered orb, he looks to me and I nod with a grin. With a thought the vines pull away and Aragorn flinches at the red fiery eye that stares back. Sauron's been trying to be a peeping Tom, how naughty.

Aragorn grabs the orb holds it up as he looks into it. "Long have you hunted me. Long have I eluded you. No more." He growls to the orb, holding his sword up with a smirk. "Behold the sword of Elendil." The fiery eye stares at Aragorn. An image of Sauron in his armor appears within the orb. It changes to a depiction of Arwen laying in the grass dead, covered in blood.

I stand in front of the orb, gaining Sauron's attention. Time to do my Masterclass at pissing men off. "Bitch please. You're just a pussy lil bitch boy who wants his masters approval. You wanna suck his cock so badly just for more power don't you? Wittle Baby" I pout towards the orb that looks to me, thrumming energy filled with anger. An image forms in the orb of Legolas and Kili laying on the stone ground mutilated. Barely recognizable. "Ive seen worse shit in the Terrifier franchise, bitch boy. Nothing you could throw at me could scare me. You're so unoriginal that Voldemort looks better then you right now, and he came out after! Come fight me one on one, bitch boy. Show me who's got the bigger balls-" I gasp and hold a hand to my chest. "oh wait. You don't have any cause you got your ass kicked by a regular human the first time! HAH!" I laugh at the orb and Aragorn drops it. It shatters into a thousand pieces.

"You really know how to piss a man off." Aragorn looks at me with surprise and pride.

"It's an art form" I shrug my shoulders with a smile. "WE RIDE!!!" I hold my fists in the air and sprint towards outside with excitement. Ready to get this shit over so I can retire. Aragorn just shakes his head at me, used to my odd sense of enthusiasm when it comes to killing Orcs.

- Black Gate - Mordor -

Armies of Erebor, Moria, Rivendell, Rohan and Gondor all converge and unite together near the gates of Mordor. All races coming together as one to fight this bastard once again. THE SECOND ALLIANCE BABYYY!!! Looks like they'll need to rename the last one instead of 'The Last alliance'. Thorin and Dwalin control the dwarves, Elrond his elves and Théoden and Aragorn the human troops. "Let's go talk to this big baby bitch boy." I say while looking to the eye who stares down at us.

"Aye. Let us begin." Aragorn agrees, clicking his tongue, Pistash snorts and begins to trot towards the gate.

I ride Chestnut behind him while Gandalf rides Shadowfax. I frown when I look up towards the gate. "Gotta admit, Sauron is incredible at evil bad guy interior design." I admit with a loud sigh, looking at the architecture.

Aragorn clears his throat and looks up to the gate. "Let the Lord of the Black Land come forth! Let justice be done upon him!" He yells out to the gate with a frown.

The gate creaks open a moment later and a man riding a black horse rides out. "Ah.. it's this ugly bastard." I say with disgust, looking at the.. human? What exactly is he??? Anyway he's wearing a helmet that makes only his mouth visible. Which is fitting, cause his name is 'Mouth of Sauron'

"My master, Sauron the Great, bids you all welcome... Is there any in this rout with the authority to treat with me?" He hisses out and I grimace again, hating the sound of his voice. I shiver in disgust.

Both me and Aragorn looks to Gandalf who huffs with a roll of his eyes. "We do not come to treat with Sauron, the faithless and accursed. Tell your master this: The armies of Mordor must disband or be cleansed from Middle Earth. By order of the Valar." Gandalf says with a powerful presence that gives me chills.

The Mouth hisses with a sneer, looking at each of us. "Ah.. Druid of Valar.. my master remembers you.. he watched you slay his pawn Azog.. He was most impressed." The Mouth smiles to me. God he has worse teeth then Art the clown.. "My master gives you a formal invitation to leave this rabble and to join him. He can provide you with endless power."

"Bitch. Did he not get the memo during the council meeting?? I don't give a rats ass about power! I'm already OP as fuck!!!" I bark out with a scowl on my face, standing up and leaning forward on Chestnut, the Mouth listens to his master and hisses to me.

"And who is this beside the druid? Isildur's heir? It takes more to make a king than a broken Elvish blade." the Mouth laughs with amusement.

"Ya know what? I wanna introduce you to someone." I say with complete and utter kindness in my voice, the Mouth looks to me and tilts his head. Aragorn raises his brow to me in confusion.. but Gandalf sighs, knowing exactly what I'm going to do I've been waiting forever to do this. "Say hello to My Little Friend." With a quick hard slice and a grunt of effort, I cut the Mouth of Sauron's head right off his body. It falls to the ground with a thump, I turn my horse and book it towards the group.

"I guess that concludes negotiations." Gimli says with a sigh to Legolas and Kili who nods their heads.

"Hold your ground men!" Aragorn turns his horse and runs over to us.

"Sons of Gondor! Of Rohan! Allies of Erebor, Moria and Rivendell! My fellow brothers and Friends! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me." Aragorn proceeds to walk up and down the group on his horse. I merely pull out a huge trough of water I had stored inside the entire body of Chestnut. Legolas looks me with puzzlement. "A day may come when the courage of Men, Dwarf or Elf fails, when we forsake our friends, and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day!! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the Age of Arda comes crashing down.. but it is NOT this day! This day we fight!"

I hum with a smile as I wait for him to finish his speech. Tossing seeds as hard as I can left and right while I walk around the battlefield. The humans look at me in confusion, wondering what I'm up to. "By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand! STAND AND FIGHT FOR MIDDLE EARTH!!" All the races cheer out and draw their weapons, the gate begins to open.

"Destroy the armies of Sauron, Cleanse Mordor of his forces and rejuvenate the land of Mordor." I whisper into the seed of the Elemental, it leaps out of my hand and into the massive water trough. Chestnut books it back to the group at full speed as the seed begins to swell inside the water.

"My love what-" Kili asks me and he notices my wide eyes filled with excitement.

Wind lance's begin to grow around the area aimed at the sky from when I planted them while we walked here.. Then the ground shakes around us, I grin with excitement. "THE DRAENOR EXPANSION WASN'T USELESS!!!!" I cry out with utter happiness as Genesaur's grow from the soil. Gigantic centaur like plant monsters the size of four busses stacked on top of one another grow from the ground. Large spears and swords in their hands, the entire army's jaws drop. Huge horn like mandibles grow from their faces. "KILL SAURON'S ARMY!!!" I scream and order my army pointing at Mordor, the Genesaur's shriek out. Rearing back onto their hein legs before landing and charging forward to the army that's approaches. The ground shakes as they land, creating craters where their feet were.

"FOR ARDA!!" The Elves scream and everyone charges forward. The army of Wargs, Spiders, Orcs, Trolls, Goblins and even Uruk Hai sprint towards us with screeches.

Fell Beasts fly to the sky's, Nazgul riding some of them. The Genesaur's are the first to make contact with the enemy, they stomp and slash with their weapons. Culling huge amounts of the creatures of darkness rapidly. From the earth a huge creature appears that looks like Wildvine from Ben 10 but on steroids emerges. It trills out a beautiful melody that makes the elves gasp at its beauty. I cackle like a mad scientist, the Elemental bursts forward with speed. On a mission he slams his tentacles around, sweeping wave after wave of Orcs. Each cut that's formed on its body covers the ground in beautiful plant life.

The sound of an eagle crying is heard and my brow raised. "The Eagles are finally here! I told you I would protect the skies my dear!" Gandalf says with a chuckle, shooting fireballs at the enemy. Chestnut sprints into the fray and I laugh with excitement. Drawing my sword I slide my helmet on and contact with the enemy.

- Frodo and Sam -
- Few Minutes Later -

Sam and Frodo sneak towards Mount Doom together, exhausted from the heat. Thankful their plant companion was able to keep them fed and watered when the Lembas ran out.. And their water skins. Fern keeps a close eye on the both of them, blade of grass sword at the ready to kill any orcs who may approach. He sees the strain Frodo is under and frowns, making his decision. "Give me the ring Frodo." Holding his hand out to the Hobbit.

"W-What?" Sam looks to Fern in confusion and alarm. Hoping the plant isn't feeling the pull. Frodo squints at Fern with suspicion, holding his hand around the necklace.

"I shall take it from here, Frodo." Fern urges Frodo who scowls at him. Fern can sense the darkness surrounding the Hobbit as he plays with the ring.

"No-" Frodo moves to break the chain and put the ring on. Fern karate chops his neck with speed, Frodo grunts and falls forward limp. Sam grabs him before he could fall. Fern grabs the ring before it could roll away with a scowl.

"Mister Fern! Why did you do that for!" Sam yells at Fern with wide eyes, thinking if he should use his Grass Blade or not.

"He has had the ring in his possession too long, Samwise." Fern pushes the ring inside his body to protect it from Gollum. "I shall return." An apple forms in his hand and he hands it to the Hobbit. "Eat, restore your strength." He smiles before moving up the mountain side with speed.

Sam looks at the plant creature and smiles, biting into the apple while he holds Frodo to his side. Thankful that he took the responsibility of throwing it in the fires of Mt. Doom.. he's not sure he would be able to do it, nor Mister Frodo..

~

Fern approaches the summit standing over the cliff that leads to lava, he looks to Sauron. "Sauron!" He calls out and the eyes looks to him, wide with alarm when he sees the ring in his hand. "Hey Gollum! Catch!" Fern chucks the ring over the cliff and towards the lava, Gollum shrieks from where he's been hiding in the rocks.

"PRECIOUS!!!!" Gollum leaps for the ring, grabbing it mid air he smiles with love in his eyes. Cuddling it just as he hits the lava. It takes a few moments for the ring to sink, Gollum's body boils gliding along the surface of the lava.. because our bodies are made of too much water. Gollum's body acts like a bead of water in a hot skillet. Thankfully the heat and fumes killed his brain as soon as he got close to it, so he needn't suffer.

Fern turns to Sauron with a grin. Eyes turning bright green as he connects with his master. "Gotcha bitch boy." Fern says while watching with joy as Sauron cries out in pain as the ring finally melts. Fern books it down the hill with great speed, running like Ponyo does. The mountain quickly becoming unstable as an explosion forms due to the mass release of mana and power.

He spots the hobbits laying on the stones, seeing Frodo awake again. "It's gone. It's done." Frodo says with a smile of relief, knowing his job is finished. He lays back against the stone.

"Yes, Mister Frodo. It's over now." Sam smiles as well, both look to each other and smile.

"No time for loving homo-erotic glances!" Fern scoops the both of them up under his arms while sprinting down the mountain.

"Whoa-" Sam yells out in alarm, clinging onto the grass Hobbit who grows in shape. Turning into the form of Legolas which makes both Hobbits confused.

"MANWE!!!" Fern yells out as he runs down the mountain, leaping across rocks as the lava begins to approach. Rocks raining down from the explosion. "WE NEED AN EVAC!!! NOW!!!!" Fern shrieks as he leaps over a huge chasm, Frodo screams in alarm as does Sam. They spot the lava down below as it bubbles to the surface. Both clinging onto Fern closing their eyes. The shriek of an eagle is heard, all three of them are grabbed mid-air by a great eagle. "WOOHOO!!" Fern cheers out with a smile, shrinking and adjusting so Sam and Frodo are more comfortable.

"Holy.. holy hobbit hole we did it! We survived!!!" Frodo says with wide eyes filled with complete and utter astonishment. Thinking he was going to die on this mission. Both Hobbits hold each other and cry with relief.

Chapter Text

Written: November 29th, 2024

- Few Minutes Later -

I stare across the flaming battlefield before taking a long deep breath. "LETS.... FUCKING GOOOOO!!!!!!!" I scream out in victory from the top of the black gate as if I'm going Super Sayan. The Genesaur's and Elemental crying out with me in victory, the slaughtered enemies laying dead on the ground. Genesaurs rear back on their legs, holding their weapons in the air as they bellow. The Triffids littering the battlefield do a little dance like the Stick bug meme. Wind Lances dance like they're in minecraft, crouching up and down while looking all around. Celebrate good times! Come on!! It's a celebration~!

The army below cheers as well, embracing one another with smiles on their faces. I stare at the battlefield and see Thorin and Elrond grabbing each other's forearms with smiles on their faces. The elf having rescued the dwarf from an Uruk. I sigh with complete relief, feeling the tiredness finally overtaking me I fall back with exhaustion, planning to just lie there for a minute only to be caught by Legolas and Kili who smile at me. Having not left my side the entire battle in fear of me being injured. Both bowmen watching my six.

The Elemental who's standing inside the black gate looks to me and sings a beautiful song. Asking for it's orders now that he's cleansed the troops. "Go clean it up big guy!" I order it and it trills again before walking further into Mordor. Blood dripping on the ground creates lush patches in the lifeless wasteland. It's gonna take fucking AGES to fix this place..

"Chestnut!" Legolas calls out, the faithful horse sprints across the barren battlefield. Leaping over corpses of trolls and wargs and climbs up the side of the gate like Hanzo from overwatch. The second he pulls himself over the edge. "Bring us back down please." He asks the horse who snorts in his face with a scowl, allowing all three of us to mount him.

"I'm exhausted.." I say with a loud sigh, leaning against Kili who cuddles me close. I look down to the battlefield as Chestnut begins his descent. Spotting the Triffids walking around and helping critically injured soldiers. "The Triffids seem to be already healing the wounded.." I say with a smile. "Well, my job is done. I deserve a fucking nap so that's what I'll do!"

"We'll keep you safe my love. Rest well, you've earned it." Legolas says with a smile, kissing me on the forehead.

"Ellen!" Aragorn calls out to me from below as Chestnut finishes his descent. God dammit Aragorn. What do you want? I want to sleep!

"Yeah..?" I ask Aragorn tiredly, lazily blinking at the sweaty man.

"What news of Sam and Frodo?" He asks with concern, having seen Mt. Doom blow up in the distance. He fears that they are both dead.

"Manwe sent an eagle to pick em up cause he be a bro like that.. They're on their way to be treated for smoke inhalation. They're gonna meet Elrond in Gondor. They're okay Aragorn, Fern did his job and kept them safe." I reassure the man with a smile.

"Thank the Valar." Aragorn exhales with relief holding a hand to his chest, Boromir smiles to me looking cut up but not dead.

"Welp! I'm gonna sleep. I'll see y'all when I wake, don't wake me unless the world's burning around you." I give them a peace sign before falling back into Chestnut. Snuggling into the thick mossy blanket. Legolas and Kili dismount and allow the horse to completely enclose me, creating a sound barrier so I can sleep peacefully in silence. I lull off to dream land..

- ??? -

Nuzzling myself into the soft bed in sleeping on, I smile with content. "I had no doubts that you would succeed!" An unfamiliar voice calls out and I open my eyes with a groan, I look around I shield my eyes from the sun. I notice that I'm laying on a huge cactus flower the size of a fucking California king, I look up and my breath is caught in the back of my throat. Like a stereotypical anime gasp.

A humongous cat that looks like it Steven Universe fused with a cactus looks down at me with a smile. It's eyes look like beautiful sunsets, the pupils being the sun's. "Hello small one. I am Opuntia." The cat the size of a fucking football field bows it's head to me in greeting. This.. this feels like when the Valar visited me. Could this be the bigger god that gave me to them???? A fucking cat??????? If all things????

"I.. what..." I stare at the creature in confusion and shock. Of course God is a fucking cat.. "Are.. are you the one that sent me to the Valar...?" I ask the feline hesitantly, raising a brow to it.

"Yes, that is I. You have done well in your trials small one." Opuntia smiles at me with pride in her.. their..? Gaze.

"Trials...?" I ask the cat in confusion, not understanding what she means. I wasn't aware I was being put on trial. Did I accidentally break the galaxy's Geneva Convention??? It's more like the Geneva Suggestion in Arda!!

"Yes, you were given a goal- a task. To protect the people's of this 'Middle Earth' and slay Sauron once and for all while keeping the fellowship whole. You have completed the trial better then I could have ever hoped.. in completing the trial, you are to be given immortality, godlike abilities over your new planet and eternal bliss." I stare up at the feline, my mind racing. .....huh. If that's what I get for being a good little girl, what happens if I fucked up????

"What would have happened if I lost the.. uh.. trial?" I ask her hesitantly, playing with the flower underneath me while I stare at the cat. Finding its visage fascinating. Curious if it's a being from another reality like in Isekai or if it's the actual god of my universe.. if so.. TAKE THAT CHRISTIANS!!!

"Look for yourself." The feline steps back, digging one of its paws into the soil to make a small hole. I move to the edge of the flower and look down curious about what's in the ground. I gasp out in utter horror, covering my mouth with my hands. Trying to fight back the vomit of what I see. Millions of body's lay inter tangled with one another in the dirt, roots in their eyes, mouths and other holes. Like that one movie where there's and endless eldritch grass maze with a spooky rock in the center. All of the people look alive but they also seem dormant. I don't see any signs of their eyes moving or them even breathing. "They provide fertilizer for my endless garden." Opuntia says with an easygoing smile on her face.

SHE USES HUMAN SOULS AS FERTILIZER FOR PLANTS?!?! "Good God.." I vomit over the side of the flower, all that comes out is flower petals which startles me. I begin to shake as I stare down at the people in the ground "Your.. a monster.." I say as I wipe my face, heaving in deep breaths.

"Eh? I am no 'Mon'stor' I am Opuntia!" The feline looks to me with a perplexed look on her face. Does this creature not have empathy? GOOD GOD IS IT NOT GOD AND IS ACTUALLY THE FUCKING DEVIL?!??! WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE THAT WAS SO BAD TO WARRANT ME GOING TO HELL??? "Silly little small one." She says with a small laugh.

"Why? Why are there people down there!!! Are they alive?!?!" I ask her as I stare at their unmoving body's.

"No, they're.. ah.. as you say.... What is word.... SLEEPING! Yes that is the word. They is sleeping!" Opuntia nods her head in agreement to herself, pushing the soil back over the souls. If that's how many souls are in this tiny patch of earth.. I look around to the huge desert, seeing that I'm in a glade filled with plants. God.. there's probably billions of people.. "They all failed my trials." She waves it off as if it's nothing.

"I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WERE TRIALS!!!! HOW IS THIS FAIR?!!!!!? HOW CAN PEOPLE BEAT YOUR TRIALS IF THEY DONT KNOW THEY'RE PLAYING A FUCKING GAME!!!" I scream out to the cat, stomping my foot on the flower beneath me. Throwing my hands around wildly trying to articulate my point.

"It is just how it is." They shrug their shoulders. "Think of it this way small Ellen. How can I judge someone correctly if they know I am judging their every move? Hm? Then they will act differently, trying to manipulate their judge. No. This way they act naturally." Opuntia shakes her head at me and I cry into my hands. "Do not despair, small Ellen." The giant cat wipes away my tears with a claw, gently moving them off my face. "They feel nothing, they are in bliss. Dreaming good dreams. If they had lost my siblings trials they would have a worse fate...  My youngest sibling is.. sadistic I believe is the word. He tortures them even after death before consuming them where all the souls remain burning inside his stomach. Forever in constant agony and pain until their life light is snuffed out.. Here, they can enjoy good dreams and constant bliss before they begin the cycle anew."

Constantly burning in the acid of a stomach for thousands of years.. god. I feel so bad for the people eaten by that guy... I'm lucky I got Opuntia instead of any other.. I take a deep breath and calm myself down, knowing if she's telling the truth.. these souls have been shown mercy. "So.. what now?" I ask the celestial feline. It's not like I can do anything, I don't even know what Opuntia is. She's unkillable because i don't know what she is... It's not like I can save them.. I don't even know if they're capable of being saved.

"You will enjoy eternity with those you love. You will now own the world your trials were placed in. You are a.. ah.. what is word.." Opuntia squints while rubbing her chin with a sharp claws that looks like a root. "GOD! That is word!" She snaps her paws with a smile. "You govern over the 'Valar' characters now! You are eh.." A book appears in Opuntia's paws with a shimmer of flower petals, she proceeds to read the book in the blink of an eye while I stare at her. "You are this Eru!" She points at the book.

"I.. Im Eru?" I ask the cat with a squint, she nods her head. I exhale shakily while nodding my head. "Fine.... can I return?" I ask her blandly and she smiles to me.

"Yes yes! Goodbye for now small Ellen!" Opuntia smiles to me while clapping her paws before everything fades out. The scent of flowers filling my nose.

- Arda -

Opening my eyes I stare up and just.. breath. Seeing a stone ceiling above me, we must have arrived to Gondor. My husband's must have brought me to a room. "Im God now." I say with a deep sigh through my nose trying to come to terms with it. I touch the sheets underneath me, in an attempt to ground myself.

"What was that rosebud?" Legolas asks me with a raised brow, I just now realize he was laying beside me running his fingers through my hair.

"I..." I take a deep breath. "This entire journey was a trial from a god bigger then Eru... And I beat it. Now I am Eru as a prize." I explain while staring at the stone above me. Good God... I'm a god- no I'm THEE god. I am THAT bitch.

"Are.. are you sure this was not a dream?" He asks me a bit unsure. Maybe.. there's a way for me to use my powers. Like those angel characters in that show Supernatural my mom watches with me. They snap with intent right? I look at the animal skins covering me, and with my intent I snap my fingers. They transform into cotton sheets with a design of Smaug on them startling Legolas.

"Not a dream." I mumble under my breath with a frown. Legolas looks to me with concern, he pulls me into a hug. Just as Kili walks into the room freshly clean and drying his hair. I feel like Atlas now with a whole world of responsibilities put onto my shoulders.

"What's wrong?" Kili asks us with a frown on his face.

"I'll explain it to you in depth later." Legolas says to Kili and he nods. "Long story short our wife is Eru now." Kili's eyes widen and he looks to me.

"I.. I need to get up." I say to Legolas and he nods, sliding back to give me space. "I'm.. I'm gonna go get some work done. Create kill squads to hunt down the rest of Morgoth's sickness.." I stand up and out of bed.

"We just got here love?" Kili asks me with confusion, I see that we must be in Gondor.

"I need to think and busy myself." I kiss Kili on the cheek with a smile. "I'll be in Mordor by the black gates working. I'll make a little hut there." I say before walking out of the room.

- One Month Later -

Hovering in the air I stare over Mordor. Watching as the ground is slowly healed from the scars of Morgoth's mettling by a group of Elementals. A small house made of plants sitting near the border, a place for me and my husband's to rest. They left to the woodland realm to gather our daughters. "Ellen!" Hearing a voice I look down and see Boromir on a horse. I float down and land.

"Yes B-Man?" I ask with a smile, everyone in the Fellowship knows that I'm Eru now.

"Aragorn is being crowned King tomorrow. He requested me to collect you." Boromir says with a smile to me.

"But-" I grimace in distaste, not wanting to deal with crowds.

"No buts he says. Your little creatures can handle healing Mordor while you're away. Come on." He pats his horse with a smile. I sigh dramatically and sit on his horse.

-

I smile to Aragorn with pride at the man he's become. Gandalf holds the crown in hand. "I crown thee, King of Gondor." He rests the crown on his head. I clap for the man with enthusiasm, whistling out to him. He rolls his eyes at me with a smile on his face.

- Aragorn Wedding - Months Later -

"There's the man!" I say to Aragorn as he's sitting beside Arwen at dinner. Only for close friends. A box covered in gold paper rests under my arm. "I'm still miffed you wouldn't let me plan you both a Bachelor and Bachelorette party's." I say with a slight glare to them. Arwen giggles with amusement.

"What have you there?" Aragorn asks in confusion, gesturing to the box under my arm.

"Well in my world, you usually give the bride and groom gifts." I hand them both the box, Aragorn takes it from me and opens it. Carefully peeling back the paper

"An.. an apple?" He looks at it with confusion, pulling the golden apple out of the box. "Knowing you it does something." He looks to me with a smirk and raised brow, curious about what I could have given him.

"This apple is called the Apple of Idun... It is originally from Nordic Mythology... It is said that it is grown in Asgard, the hall of the gods. Should a mortal eat it.. It gives them eternal life." Aragorns eyes snap up to mine, wide in shock his jaw drops. "Of course with my new ah.. title and all I made some adjustments to the apple. It now will transform you into an Elf, giving you fea." I smirk to him smugly, wiggling my brows at the silent man who's stares at me in shock.

Arwen looks to me with tears in her eyes, she launches herself at me over the table. Pulling me into a spine breaking hug, I choke on air with wide eyes. "Thank you!!! Thank you!!" She cries out to me, tears running down her cheeks. Elrond looks over with confusion and concern from across the room.

I pat her on the back awkwardly, a blush on my face from having such beautiful woman hugging me. "It's no problem. I've been planning to do this even before my godhood." I say to her with a smile. "I want you two to live forever together and be happy."

"Ellen.. thank you." Aragorn smiles to me with a laugh, he looks to the fruit with contemplation before biting into it without a second thought. Quickly devouring the entire thing, core and all. He swallows and squints, grunting softly as his ears grow points. I see his soul transform into fea before my very eyes making me smile.

"Your welcome bestie." I give him a wink while I smile. "Who knows.. maybe one of your kids and mine can marry and we'll be family!" I nudge Arwen playfully and she giggles with amusement.

- Hundreds of year Later -

"Finally! Retirement!!!" I say as we finally dock at Valinor on a huge ship i grew. Big enough to hold all of the Woodland realms citizens. A beaming smile on my face, Kili and Legolas at my sides.

Thranduril left the woodland realm soon after Sauron was defeated. He sailed to Valinor leaving Legolas in charge. Now all of the elves have sailed, but I've given them the option of returning should they wish it. "You're still going to have your godly duty's my love." Legolas smiles to me with amusement in his eyes. Looking sexy as fuck wearing his father's crown that he takes off. No longer a king now that we're in Valinor. He exhales with relaxation as he feels the burdens and responsibilities vanish.

"Ugh, don't remind me." I frown at the very thought of it. "I still gotta write the new song to restart the world." I huff while crossing my arms. "Gonna make it metal as fuck though." Kili snorts in laughter, shaking his head with amusement.

Walking off the dock, Legolas helps his people collect their things. I created bags of holding for each family to use... I'm God, I do what I want! "Ellen.." Looking up to see who called my name I see Thranduril standing at the edge of the dock, dressed similarly as before. Minus his crown however. "I.. I have waited long to see you." He swallows the saliva in his mouth nervously.

"Father." Legolas nods to his father as he steps off the ship.

"Well, I'm gonna expand the island. Give it it's own little Greenwood.. gotta make a Lothlorien and Rivendell too.. man I got so much fucking work to do." I huff out with a scowl, opening my eight pairs of wings made of branches and leaves. Similar to Terraria's Leaf Wings. Ever since I finally said I was Eru, I've gained a flowery halo that changes with the seasons. Much like Thranduril's crown.

I kiss my husband's before taking off, letting Milli and her husband find their own home while Zelda strolls with her new wife. And yes Milli married Aragorns son. I was so proud.