Chapter Text
“Perseus, could you go pick up Percy?” Sally grabbed her coat, hurrying to put it on. She picked up his coat off the hanger and threw it at him. Not to. At.
“Sure,” he said, slightly muffled from the coat she’d thrown over his head. He took it off, expression unimpressed. “Anything else you would like from your portable coat hanger?”
She spared him a glance. “Make sure Odysseus doesn’t get lost trying to go from one neighborhood to the other?”
Odysseus, who was still in the hall, scowled. “I can hear you!”
“GOOD! Your sense of direction is horrible!”
“It’s not that bad!”
“You got lost in your own house once!”
He stepped out of the hall. “I had just gotten out of surgery! I was still under the effects of the anesthesia!”
“That’s what they all say,” Perseus muttered, searching around for his glasses.
“They’re on your head, idiot,” Odysseus snarked, catching the coat that Sally had thrown at him.
Perseus grabbed his glasses. “Oh, right.”
“Just get contacts like the rest of us,” Sally said, looking through her coat pockets to make sure she had her keys.
“No.”
“Then suffer.” She pulled her car keys out of her pocket. “Percy’s bringing some of his friends over. Is that alright with you?”
“Oh, Grover and Annabeth? Yeah, that’s fine. Let me text Andromeda real quick.” After a couple of moments, he glanced up. “Yeah, she’s fine with it.”
“I’m going with you,” Odysseus decided.
Perseus paused. “What.”
“Don’t look at me like that, I haven’t seen my little sister in a while.”
“I keep forgetting you’ve technically been adopted by Athena,” Perseus muttered.
Sally stopped in front of the door suddenly. “Wait, what time is it?”
Perseus looked at his watch. “3:15. Why?”
She tore the door open. “Shit! Get out, Percy’s school gets out at 3:00!”
“Oh, shit—”
—
“Why were you so late,” Annabeth asked from the backseats of Perseus’ car. She sounded incredibly judgmental for an eight-year-old.
“Sorry about that, Annie,” Odysseus said. “We lost track of time.”
She scoffed in classic eight-year-old fashion. “Well, just don’t next time.”
“... we’ll keep that in mind,” Perseus replied, taking a left turn. He glanced at the rearview mirror. Percy and Grover were dead asleep, so only his niece was listening. “How was school today?”
“Principal Sarah punched Mr. William in front of the entire class.”
Perseus shared a look with Odysseus. “Splendid.”
“Very pleasant,” Odysseus agreed with a concerned look.
“Why did she...?”
Annabeth messed with her backpack strap. “He kept trying to get Percy in trouble for no reason.”
That’s why the name William was familiar... “Oh, so she punched that fucker,” he said, ignoring Odysseus’ death glare. Oops.
“Mother said that fuck’s a bad word,” Annabeth said, quite judgmentally. Perseus damn near crashed the car. “You shouldn’t say that.”
Perseus’ grip on the steering wheel was tight enough that his knuckles were white. “Yes, thank you, Beth, I’ll make sure not to do that again.”
With a tired, long-suffering sigh, Odysseus looked behind them. “Annie, don’t repeat a single thing your uncle says, okay? Especially in front of mom.”
Annabeth nodded. “Okay. I won’t say fuck anymore.”
Odysseus shot Perseus another piercing glare.
“I’m sorry,” he said weakly.
“I’m going to fucking kill you,” Odysseus whispered to him, quiet enough that Annabeth couldn’t hear him.
Perseus eyed the barn owl that was suddenly following the car. “I think Athena’s already planning to do that.”
Annabeth perked up once she caught sight of the owl. “Mother!”
Percy startled awake. “Wha—”
“Are any of you kids hungry?” Perseus asked, watching the owl hesitantly.
“Not really—”
“Doesn’t matter,” he interrupted, pulling into the driveway of a random restaurant. “We’re getting food. Odysseus, take them in, will you?”
Odysseus sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Ugh, fine. But we will be talking about this afterward.” His eyes trailed over to where the owl was perched on a nearby tree. “If you live until then.”
They were interrupted by a small thud from the backseat. They shared a look and glanced at the kids.
Percy and Annabeth had shoved Grover off the seat in an attempt to wake him up. It did not work.
“Oh my gods,” Perseus muttered, resting his head on the steering wheel. “Again?”
With a mumbled curse, Odysseus got out of the car, opened the middle seat doors, and peered in. “Come on,” he said. “Get out of the — do not step on Grover, Percy, do not!”
Without glancing up, Perseus said, “Annabeth, don’t you dare kick him.”
“But he won’t wake up!”
“Let Odysseus deal with it.”
For a couple of moments, he only heard shuffling. Then, “Perseus, he won’t wake up.”
Wordlessly, Perseus passed him the spray bottle.
He heard the spray of the water, then Grover spluttering. “Wha — HEY!”
Eventually, Odysseus was able to wrangle all of the kids into the restaurant after some severe trial and error.
“Where did she get that pocket knife from,” was the first thing Athena asked him.
The moment the kids stepped into the restaurant, the barn owl that had been watching them swooped into the car from the still open passenger door, shifted into a human form, and shut the door.
Perseus still did not look up from the steering wheel. “I think it was the one Luke gave her.”
She hummed menacingly. “I’ll talk to Hermes about that.”
He did not want to know what was classified as a “talk” to her. Probably some sort of murder.
“By the way,” she continued, “why did I sense my daughter saying ‘fuck’ whilst in your presence?”
Perseus winced. “I can explain—”
—
“That was very stupid of you,” Odysseus said later.
“Thanks,” Perseus snarked, having been yelled at for a whole thirty minutes. “I didn’t know.”
“She’s going to want you dead for the next couple of months.”
“As her son, do you think you could—”
“Nope.”
“Damn.”
A couple moments of silence passed. Even the kids were quiet, instead choosing to eat the food Odysseus had bought them.
Then, “Could we get ice cream?” Percy asked, voice suspiciously close. Odysseus turned around.
“Percy, get back in your seat and buckle your seatbelt in now—”
—
“Why did it take you so long to drive them over?” Andromeda asked as they watched Gorgophone and Alcaeus play with the kids.
“You don’t want to know,” Perseus muttered in reply.
She raised a brow. “You upset Athena again, didn’t you?”
Perseus slammed his head into the table. Andromeda hummed. “Of course you did.”
Right at that moment, Alcaeus accidentally knocked over Percy, who said, very loudly and very confidently, “Fuck.”
All eyes turned to him.
“Oh no.”