Chapter Text
- Job Offer -
Because this is what there was Lana! Archer shouts in a mini compact car well chasing down a man on a motorcycle.
Ha-ha you two look awesome in that car. Naruto says over the radio.
Naru~ where are you? Lana asked.
Don’t worry if everything goes right, I’m going to cut the man off. The blonde assassin says. Son of a bitch guys heads up ODIN is here.
Why are they here? Archer asked.
You mean other than the fact Naru~ stole the diamond pissing them off and Malory sold it back to ODIN so they could save face. Lana says sarcastically.
Ha-ha serves them… Um Naruto I lost him.
Turn back around, go three blocks and turn left. Naruto says over the phone. He’s hiding in an alley two blocks down.
Ha-ha got him. Archer shouts happily seeing the man stuck in the alley and them blocking the path.
Bro, go in the Alley, you’re in the middle of the road. Naruto says over the phone.
No one ever uses this road. Look around. It’s fine. Archer says. Lana tell me I’m perfect.
What? Lana says looking confused before her eyes open seeing a large truck coming toward them.
Goddamn it! I’m relishing –
Before Archer could finish his sentence, the mini compact car got hit by a large truck.
Ster! Lana! Naruto says over the radio.
We are alive Naruto… Lana says.
I’m grabbing the guy now. I’ll be right there. Naruto says sounding worried.
Would you like to Relish more Archer… Lana asked upside down in the car with scratches.
…no. it’s too late. The mood is ruined… Archer says pouting.
Hey, Gang. Wow, nice work Archer. Don’t you know you’re not supposed to park in the middle of the road. Barry says just getting Archer to grumble.
Hey Barry, mind holding this guy for a second. Naruto asked.
Hey whiskers my brother from a nether mother. Sure. Barry says holding the man they were chasing.
Hey, don’t let him near our payday bro. He will take him. Archer shouts annoyed.
Ass. Barry says annoyed. Seriously man your brother.
1 2 3 Naruto growls before pushing the compact car backup on its wheels.
Thank you, Barry. How is your arm and leg? And bro try making friends outside ISIS it pays. Naruto says.
Yeah, right like he can. Barry says. Doctors are surprised before I told them it was you. Oh, that reminds me I appreciate the open room for your hospital. It helps to have a really good place to go to when I need to or take one of my guys. This is for you guys,’ Barry says putting a card in Naruto’s pocket and one in Lana’s seat belt. Respect man on that diamond to. I better go before they ask me what’s going on.
Respect man. See you at the bowling tournament. Naruto says happily.
… Wait you bowl Archer asked.
I put together a spy agency tournament. ODIN ISIS, SPINX. Thiers seven of us that meet up and go against each other.
Jesus, even their cards are nice. Archer says grabbing Lana’s. It’s embossed. We don’t have cards like that.
- Next day in Malorys office –
That was the mayor of Paris. He would like to know why an ISIS agent ran through several tables and made a very angry car rental visit him. Malory asked well Archer fixed a drink and Naruto was sitting down relaxing.
Name dropper. Does it matter we got the bounty and even kicked ODIN’s ass. Archer says.
Your brother did that. If it wasn’t for Naruto, we wouldn’t have the bounty, and ODIN would have the guy.
So, I crashed into a few cop cars, ran over a few mimes!
Mimes gross. Naruto growls.
Right. Archer says.
We don’t play by the rules, mother, that’s how we get results. Archer says. If you got Kasparov yes. You didn’t. Your brother held up ODIN and got him. You were busy stroking your ego instead of driving into an alleyway! Malory shouts. Deep breath – deep breath – Naru~ Step out and let me talk to Sterling alone.
Sure. Naruto says leaving. As the door closed, he could hear glass breaking.
… …
Lana, I think it would be best not to mention the whole ODIN job offer Naruto says coming into the office seeing Cyril painting Lana’s toenails. Also, nice color, Cherry red?
Rich crimson red magnet. Lana says looking at her toes.
What’s this about ODIN? Cyril asked.
Barry offered Naru~ and I a job over there. We have history together. Lana says remembering the laser incident.
Oh, the one where you two were naked stuck together on the table and he used a mirror to save the both of you. I remember that one. It made me watch the old double O seven series.
… wow… Cyril says before hearing more crashing and noise coming from Malory’s office.
Darling, would you like to join Uta and I for lunch Elke asked coming into the office.
Sounds like fun. Let’s go. Um I would offer you two but fresh nail polish. Can I bring you something back? Naruto asked.
Yes. Um you know what surprise me. Lana says. Anything you get me I will enjoy.
Got it, how about you Cyril? Thanks Naruto, but I have a honeybun in my desk.
… ok. See ya. Naruto says leaving.
- Two hours later at ODIN –
So, you know how you wanted me to Poach Naruto and Lana? Barry asked Len Trexler who is standing on his desk with a gold club.
Oh my God, I love them. Give me some good news. Len say excited to hear they joined.
You see I think Sterling Archer thought I was talking to him too. He’s on his way here.
Ha-ha really. That guy cost as much damage as he gets paid. Len says. And that’s taking the bonuses in.
Yeah. I mean the guy is obviously great in the field when he can be focused but compared to Naruto and Lana… Barry points out.
Hmm I agree but they are brothers, and I hear where Archer goes Naruto goes to. Len says taking a thinking pose.
Barry just mutters some stuff under his breath pissed off about remembering something.
- Back at ISIS –
Mom, what the hell is this I’m hearing Ster is going to ODIN? Naruto asked going into her office hearing her go over freezing his accounts etc. with Cheryl, well pam replaces some broken vases.
The ungrateful brat is getting what he wants. He chose to leave. Malory growls out angrily. You just wait in no time; he’ll be begging me to take him back. Has he called you sweetie?
I gave him money for a plane ticket and cab. You’re both so stubborn I better go there and get him myself.
No let him beg to come back. Malory says smiling.
Mom, we both know this is going to get out of control. I’ll head it off first Naruto says. I promise I’ll bring him back and don’t do anything.
Oh, please do you really think ODIN will keep him after Berlin? Malory asked.
- Flash Back –
The room opens up to a room with a suitcase full of money. A Deadman in a chair on the ground with a listening device on the desk. On the balcony Archer could be heard.
Well, whose fault is that? Archer asked.
Yours! Barry shouts. You bust in, shoot two perfectly good double agents – Barry was saying hanging over the ledge with one hand holding onto a light cord.
No, you think that’s an appropriate response is to ruin my suit? Archer asked above him looking down well putting it arm out showing the sleeves ripped off. Oh, and my shirt.
I’m sorry Barry said sincerely, still hanging over the ledge. So, will you please just help me up?
Archer paused for a second before answering no.
- End of flashback –
For which I am genuinely sorry for. Archer says in Len Trexler’s office holding his box of stuff remembering what happen.
You know if it wasn’t for your brother they told me I would need two steel rods and 16 titanium screws to fix it. Thanks to his quick responds and six months of rehab I didn’t get any of that.
Hey, come on, don’t be Shitty. Len says joining them and giving Archer a drink. On that note though will your brother or Lana be joining us? Joining the family?
Ha-ha well I did get a text from him. Archer says smiling.
Excellent the Archer brothers’ new sons of ODIN. I like the sound of that. Len says smiling and hitting a nether golf ball out the window.
- Back at ISIS –
Whoa, whoa, whoa with the language! You kiss your mother with that mouth? Len teased on the big screen in Malory’s office
You leave Bub out of this! Malory yells back leaning on her desk having trouble standing because she’s been drinking none stop since Naruto left to get his brother. And how dare you steal my son away from me! Now you’re after my baby too!
Steal him? You cut him loose. And can you blame me for going after Anbu? You know he gets over dozens of offers a year? Thiers agency’s out there that want him to lead.
I know how badass my baby is. Who the hell do you think raised him! Malory shouts back.
From what I hear from Sterling you didn’t do much Raising. Len mumbles.
… …. You… … Malory says before taking a deep breath… Cut him loose this instant.
No, No I can’t do that. Len says. He’s happy here. He’s making a new friend and besides his brother I hear he needs them.
Mother fucker mention that again! I was a single mother! Malory shouts back.
- Back at ODIN –
God damn it Archer Barry shouts holding his left arm that was bleeding from getting shot from Archer who was standing behind the human HR representative well she was bend over the couch.
I said don’t come in here. You did it to yourself. Archer says back. Framboise, what’d I say?
He said don’t come in here. Framboise repeats holding a dildo bend over the chair.
- Back at ISIS –
I don’t care if he’s happy! Malory says.
That’s obvious. Len says sarcastically.
Meaning what, Exactly?! Malory asked back angrily.
Meaning who leaves a 9-year -old kid in a police station on Christmas? Sweet Jesus, he tells me Naruto even got a job at seven to throw his brother a birthday party.
Eve! And Naruto was very mature for his age. And He told you about that? Malory asked, shocked.
Oh, we’ve had such great talks. When Naruto gets here, I’ll be the father the two need. When was the last time you hugged either of them? Len asked.
Malory’s eyes were twitching now.
FIRE HIM! Malory shouts in anger.
Jion him! Come work for me! Len says excitedly.
Have you lost your mind?! Malory asked.
Every time I see you. Len responded, sounding happy.
Fire him,” said Malory seriously.
Can’t do it. Len responded flatly
Can’t or won’t? Malory asked.
Either? Len responded.
… Fine… Malory says coldly. Then go check your telex.
- 20 minutes later –
Holy shit she put a burn notice out on her own son. Barry says surprised.
Wow she is super pissed off. It must have killed her to do this. Len says seeing the paper.
Chuckles – and I’m smirking Barry says.
No, you don’t smirk at a mothers suffering, Barry, you asshole! Also, what happened to your arm? Len Trexler asked seeing him patched up.
Archer shot me. Because I caught him with framboise, and I am kind of engaged with her. Thank goodness Naruto showed up and patched me. Also punched his brother pretty good. It made me feel a little better.
Oh… I didn’t know you and her were together. Damn, I pushed him to her. I’m sorry. Len Trexler says. I served her up like a pudding cup.
Well, I didn’t talk to her about it fully. Barry says. OW!
Ass! If you love it, put a ring on it. Len says punching his gun shot arm. Now go deal with Archer. This burn notice was sent to everyone. CIA, M16. We can’t keep him now, Barry!
Oh, I’m so going to enjoy this. OW!
Don’t enjoy it! It’s a sad day. Just got to do it. You put it in his ear. Can you do that? Len asked a smiling Barry.
- Back at ISIS –
Who put out a burn notice on Sterling? Malory asked shocked, sitting at her desk with Rey, Pam and Cheryl in front of her.
That would be you. Pam says
What?! Malory says shocked hitting the desk.
Cheryl just laughs while enjoying the drama. Holy shit look at your face.
I would never! Not in a million - - Malory stops talking, looking over seeing the empty bottle. Oh, dear god did I drink absinthe?
That bottle and most of this one. Rey says.
Until we wrestled it away from you. Pam says.
Cause you don’t know how to share, beeyotch! Cheryl says pointing at her.
I don’t remember any of that. Malory says. Oh my god where is Naruto! Is he their yet? I need to warn him.
- Back at ODIN –
You can’t be serious. Lana says.
Danm it mother must have been drinking absinthe. Last time she did that she played Russian roulette. Naruto growls.
Barry, I know you really… Really want to shoot my brother, but if you just sit back and let me handle this, I’ll owe you one and three free punches on Sterling at any time of your choosing.
Barry stood taking deep breaths before talking. Aright man because it’s you and I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I won’t help you with him, but I won’t stop you either.
Naruto, I love you, but again what the fuck is with your family. Lana asked, looking shocked.
Trust me when we get back home, I am having a serious talk with mother… Naruto growls.
Oh, shit guys you might want to go down there now my camera is showing Dave a guy that really hates Archer going to his office and checking his gun. Barry says.
Damn it. Naruto growls running out of the office with Lana following.
SMACK – What the hell Archer yells in his underwear seeing Lana and Naruto... I understand, but Lana is really stocking me.
Shut up and check your Telex! You got one right. Lana says.
Lana, you just knocked out an ODIN agent probably coming by to congratulate me. Are you going to use a Telex on him next? Archer asked shocked.
First asshole fuck you. Second, I am making a notice from ODIN making the Burn notice from your mother look like a black flag! Lana shouts back, getting Archer to go wide eyes and look at his brother.
Mother ended up drinking absinthe. Naruto growls. Now go get dressed we have two minutes max before ODIN comes for us.
Any chance we can move that to Five. I really need a shower. Archer asked laughing
ARCHER! Lana and Naruto shouts together.
Fine... Damn why don’t you to just get together already. Archer says in the bathroom he gets a sigh from them.
- Back at ISIS –
Ok mama bear want some good news. Pam says coming into the office before seeing everybody laid back looking sick and Malory laying on the floor.
Is it my obituary? Malory asked.
It’s not that good. Your foxy-Sama solved the problem. Pam teased.
Give me that, you oaf! Malory says annoyed grabbing the paper. All Agencies disregard ISIS burn notice on agent Archer, AKA Duchess - - gasp. An ODIN black flag operation! ODIN will take such a blowback for this. Hahaha.
- Back at ODIN –
Lana, Naruto and Archer are going down the elevator.
Got something you want to say to Lana bro? Naruto asked.
… Not really. OW. Archer says rubbing his head getting hit by Naruto. Ok, ok thank you Lana.
This is just a game to you isn’t it, Archer. Lana asked in an annoyed tone.
Well yeah kind of. Archer says. Oh, my car is on P-2.
Good let’s take it. I have a jammer for the tracker and a military plane waiting for us at the airport. We just drive it strait on.
Damn it we can’t… I need to get Cyril… he kind of followed me here after hearing about Barry. Lana says rubbing her forehead. He’s on – ding door opens -
Everybody’s eyes open wide seeing Cyril have doggy style sex with Framboise over some crates in the basement.
Hello. Framboise says.
Hello. Cyril says
…
…
…
Dude, are you fuckin serious! Naruto growls out showing his K nine teeth scaring Cyril. Mother fucker I should leave you here! Get your dick back in your pants and in the car before ODIN puts a bullet in your head.
Minutes later Naruto is driving the car angrily with Lana sitting next to him not saying a word and Cyril and Archer in the back.
Um you’re going over 100 Nar-
Before Cyril could finish his sentence, the blonde assassin reached back, punching Cyril out and getting a chuckle from his brother. Lana said nothing and didn’t even move.
- Dial M for mother –
Three days later Lana and Naruto have taken some private time. He took her to Florida using his mom’s private condo again. Malory agreed after seeing how angry he was about the burn notice and Cyril cheating on Lana. The two were enjoying a candle dinner at a romantic Italian restaurant.
If I order the Panna cotta for dessert, will you share it with me? I want to try it, but I know I have a few bites at best. Naruto asked.
Thank you Naru~. After Archer and now Cyril. Just getting away from it means a lot.
Don’t thank me yet Lana. I’m planning on sneaking away when you’re not expecting it. Naruto says grabbing the napkin and tying it around his face like a bank robber in the 50s. Have fun with the bill.
Ha-ha shut up you dork. Lana says laughing, truly enjoying herself.
Seriously though I always have your back. What my brother did to you was wrong. You really, really tried making it work, Naruto says remembering everything Lana went through. And then Cyril… Damn. I didn’t see the signs.
Is it me then? Lana asked, sounding sad.
What! Hell no. you’re an amazing woman. Any guy would love to be with you, Lana. Hey, forget about them. Mother agreed to let us stay here for the week. Let’s forget about those losers and enjoy ourselves. Naruto says looking into her eyes.
Lana felt her heart going crazy.
Um, would you like to dance. Lana asked.
Sure. Naruto says giving a fox smile.
The two entered the floor that only had a few other couples on it. Lana put her hands on him, resting her head on his chest feeling more relaxed than she has in a long time.
So close yet so far away Naruto started singing slowly so only she could hear. You’re in my arms and all the world is gone. Nothing matters but you and I in this endless moment. When I’m next to you I feel so close to being alive. So close yet so far away. Forever I know what I have wanted – Lana pulls away slowly looking into his eyes before a tear falls out of her left eye - so far and yet so close she starts sing the verses with him. The two never break eye contact with the other. After a few minutes they finally noticed the music stopped and went back to their table. Hours later midnight Lana laid in her bed in her underwear just staring at the roof.
… why am I hesitating. I like him… no its so much more than that. Hell, I love him. I think I loved him since Archer and I were together, but because they are brothers, I had to push that away, damn it. When we broke up, I wanted to ask Naruto but was afraid of ruining our friendship and him thinking it’s weird. I just got with Cyril because it would piss Sterling off… I never love Cyril, but it still hurt being lied to and cheated on… I lost so much time with whiskers. Not any more Lana says to herself throwing her blanket off getting up looking in the mirror. She was wearing black silk panties and bra. She checked her breath again before going to Naruto’s room and pushing the door open slowly seeing him sleeping in nothing. The covers were the only thing hiding his body. She took a breath getting her courage up and walked over to him before running her hand over his shoulder causing him to wake up and pull a gun out from his pillow. His eyes widen in surprise seeing Lana before looking around for anyone else. After noticing they were alone his eyes went back to her. She slowly inched closer ready to kiss him.
Wait… Lana we can’t do this. Naruto said.
Lana felt her heart sink… Why? She asked with pain in her voice.
Because I like you. I don’t want to be a rebound guy. I want a real relationship with you with a future. He says. Causing the woman’s heart to nearly shoot out of her chest. Her cheeks had a hard blush on.
Oh my god he likes me. He really likes me. I didn’t misreed the signs. Son of a bitch girl play it cool. Lana says to herself. Naru~ this isn’t a rebound type of deal. I like you too. I have liked you for so long. I got with Cyril to piss off Archer… I wanted to be with you though. Lana says having her voice crack a few times.
Wow… Naruto says unsure what else to say.
Yeah, we lost a lot of time together. Lana says.
No. We nearly spend every day together at work and out. We may not have been lovers, but our relationship did grow Naruto says picking the woman up surprising her before laying her on the bed and kissing her. Lanas eyes where large before she gave into the kiss.
Oh yes. Finally! Lana screamed into her mind, feeling her body getting excited.
Naruto kept kissing her and tell they finally had to break it for air. He started kissing her neck wanting to leave a hickey and mark his prey. The woman feeling the same way pulled his head to her wanting more. Lana tightens her legs around him, refusing to take the chance he would get way. Naruto just growls, causing a sensation of excitement to go down the woman’s spine as he ran has hands over her back. Before she knew it she had reached her first climax and her panties were still on. He was biting her breast through her bra.
Stop teasing me. Take them off. Lana groaned through her heavy breathing.
He listened giving a growl before he ripped her bra off sending a nether sensation through her. He was biting her breast like an animal before taking in a large amount of her breast in. After having fun, he was back to teasing her, biting her feet before taking a finger and rubbing her click above her panties.
Nar~ please~. Lana breathed hard before losing control and climaxing.
I… I came… how… Lana moans looking up at Naruto who ran his hands over her legs slowly going up before going under her panties and pulling them off leaving her dripping.
Time for a taste. Naruto growls grabbing her legs and pulling them apart and eating her out.
OH! YES! OH MY GOD! Lana shouts, grabbing his hair sinking her nails in excitedly.
Lana came again breathing hard, excited before she pulled Naruto into a rough kiss trying to take control.
Let me take care of you now Lana says taking in mini-Naruto now. Holy shit this won’t be easy. I’m going to make him come I aaahhh! Lana shouts out excitedly before Naruto had his tongue back between her legs and Lana was still in front of his dick. “My god my first 69”. Lana says in her mind excited before licking and kissing before moving to suck him off. “Damn it no. No! I’m going to Climax again. I haven’t made him do it ones! I have even felt him OOOOOOH”! Lana shouts as her body twitches from the excitement again. She didn’t notice him crawling out from under her until she felt little Naruto against her pussy.
Damn Lana, I barely got the tip in and you’re squeezing me. Naruto growls out as he continues to push it,
It’s… Its because… your amazing… … I been waiting so… So long for this. Lana says between the panting. Don’t Stop slam me!
Four the next several hours the two had sex. The sun was peeling through the window showing Lana and Naruto covered in scratches and bite marks. Lana’s breast neck and legs had bite marks on them well Naruto was covered in bite marks and scratches. His back fully covered. His hair had dry blood from Lana’s nails. Lanas was sleeping next to him with most of her body on him looking very happy. – hour later Lana starts sterling awake. As she opens her eyes, she notices she’s sleeping on someone’s chest. She looks up to see Naruto and smiles.
This must be a dream… amazing dream. Lana says to herself running her free hand on his chest over him before kissing his shoulder.
I thought you would be too soar. Do you want to go again. Naruto asked, showing he’s awake and surprising her. Lana moves her head up looking at him. Before poking him in the cheek.
This isn’t a dream. Lana said not asking but saying it to herself before she started remembering everything last night. Her face was pure red remembering everything.
Do you regret it. Naruto asked causing the woman to look up quickly.
No never! Lana said a little too quickly making the blonde chuckle.
He reached down kissing her. After 15 minutes of making out He told her he would make her some breakfast.
She stays lying in bed smiling looking at the roof before she gets up to take a shower. Naruto and Lana spend the week together making love every morning and night. They had sex in the shower and in the kitchen.
Several times Naruto growls in her ear wondering if they were being watched. Teach her a lesson for spying. The way he didn’t bend to his mother unlike his brother excited her. The two agreed to keep their relationship hidden for now, wanting more time together before others got involved.
Lana and Naruto were on the ISIS elevator smiling.
Interoffice fraternization of an intimate nature is prohibited to include but not limited to trysts, assignations" What's this even mean? Cyril asked reading a paper on the wall that Pam had just put up.
It means no more banging coworkers. Pam says. Guess who fucked it up for all of us. Pam says.
Before Cyril could respond Pam saw Naruto and Lana and shouted their names ignoring Cyril and going to them.
How are you… Pam stopped talking looking at Lana noticing her glowing and smiled at her. Never mind and good for you sister. Pam says.
… so, this isn’t going to be a secret for long. Lana says.
Pam, can you keep this one in the vault tell we are ready for everyone to know. Naruto asked.
You got it good buddy. I’m happy for you, Lana, it’s about damn time girl. Pam said.
Naruto! Get your blonde butt in here! Malory shouts from her office.
To go or not to go, that is the question Naruto says debating messing with his mom and getting small laughs from Pam and Lana. Go Foxy. Lana and I need to have girl talk.
Malory is sitting at her desk with Naruto on the other end smiling at her.
Son we will never ever speak about what you and Lana did in my Florida home in the bedroom, shower, couch, kitchen table, kitchen floor, hot tub… my desk… Malory growls out. It never happened.
Sounds good mom and – Bro!
Archer shouts coming into the office smiling before fixing himself a drink. So how down is Lana? Does she feel better? I mean he cheated on her. She was feeling terrible.
Naruto just keeps quite smiling at his mother who glares at him.
Which is why I started that new policy. No more needless sex around here. treating this place like its spring break on south padre just sex – sex –
Sexy- sexy, eh? Everyone looked over seeing Nikolai on the large screen holding up a pink night Gown because Malory hit a button by accident.
Nikolai? Malory says shocked.
Is from Fredericks of Latvia. Nikolai was explaining looking at the night Gown.
Mother!? Sterling shout. Well Naruto just breaks down laughing.
Oh, hello, son. And Naruto such a fine young man. Nikolai says noticing them.
What?! Why did he call me son? Archer asked getting Naruto to get curious too. What is this?
Nikolai. I… um you mean besides incredibly awkward? Malory asked.
How’s it going Nikolai? Naruto asked.
Very well, thank you. The recipe you gave me for that alligator was amazing. Everyone says it tastes like chicken, but I thought it was closer to peacock.
Bro what the hell. He’s holding a night gown calling mother.
Yes, and I already had a talk with him about making her happy. Naruto says.
Nikolai, could I call you back? Malory asked politely.
Da. Nikolai responds. I will be here maybe in one hour…
Mother! Archer shouts.
Then I’ll try to hit gym, so… Nikolai said before Malory cut the connection.
The gym. That’ll be the day.
Are you out of your mind? Archer says smashing the glass holding liquor on the ground.
I must be. Because it looks like you just destroyed my Steuben bar set. Malory says back looking at the mess.
Well, you just destroyed my innocence. Archer shouts back. Why are you not getting angry Naru.
First mom deserves happiness, and I won’t take it from her. Second, we all three know that the Brazilian au pair destroyed your innocents when you were 12. Naruto says back.
Amazing time he says in a moment of bliss before getting angry again, but why does Nikolai Jakoc, the head of the KGB have a direct line to your office? Archer yells. Oh, and a follow up question why did he call me son?
Yeah, the way he said it sounded personal. Naruto says. Well, um it’s a figure of speech… often… just not in this case. Malory says causing Naruto to look at her in surprise and Sterling to faint.
Terrific. Two Steuben glasses are left, and he breaks two of them in one day.
Krieger, I’m telling you Pam is an easy win. If she loses at least we get to watch her get beat up Cheryl says laughing. It’s not like we can get Lana with her monster hands.
Ok the whole monster hands are starting to border on mean. Lana says leaning against the door frame.
Are you going to cry to Ms. Archer like you did with Cyril. Guess what that French bitch wasn’t the only one he cheated on you with...
And what is that supposed to mean? Lana asked gasping.
Figure it out, Truckasaurus. Cheryl says.
But I already have a father. His name was John Fitzerald archer. Archer says spitting out the glass. He was a fighter ace, and he won the navy cross and.
And I thought you new mom made that up. Naruto says looking at him. Bro, you needed it as we were kids, but we talked about it when we were teenagers. That it wasn’t true.
I remember something, but I think I got seriously drunk and blocked it out. Archer says.
The military funerals everything… Archer says shocked.
But… how… you…
Sterling, what was I supposed to do tell a three-year-old his father might be in the KGB? Malory asked.
Oh damn. Wrong choice of words mom. Naruto says.
Wha- what do you mean might be? Archer asked standing up with his broken glass.
So… there may or may not be a few other possibles in the mix. Malory says causing the room to go quiet.
Seriously? You cheated on me with the bimbo in storage. Lana says sitting at Cyril’s desk.
And I can explain that… kind of… Cyril says.
Ring – ring – Ms. Archer you have a phone call on your private channel. Naruto, can you escort your brother to his office. Malory says looking at her son still standing there in shock.
Come on Ster. Naruto says.
Hits button –
Oh, they are gone. Bring them back and let me talk to him. Nikolai says,
No. No bad idea. Malory says.
Come now. I can talk some since into him. Afterall I am his father. Nikolai says happily.
Oh. So, about that. Malory says.
Len Trexler or Buddy Rich? Nikolai says shattering a glass sounding pissed off.
Mother just keeps so many secrets from us. Archers’ shouts accepting the drink from his brother.
Yeah, the fact she’s not sure out of the three is, wait what am I saying. It’s mother. Naruto says.
Right! Archer shouts back.
Knock -knock
Come in Naruto says disabling the lock for the door seeing Lana walk in.
Naru~ did you know that fucker… Archer. Lana says going quiet. It’s ok Lana. Bro Lana and I are together, and I need you to keep it quiet. This is important to me.
Archer looked at his brother then Lana and back to Naruto. Ha-ha danger zone ha-ha
Lana rolls her eyes.
Hey, did you know Cyril cheated on me with multiple women? Lana asked, getting the brothers to look at each other in surprise.
Dumbass. Naruto and Sterling say together.
Right. He slept with scatterbrain jane and that woman in inventory. Lana says angrily.
The one with the dead eye? Naruto asked, looking surprised.
Gross. It’s always hard to tell where I should be looking. Archer says.
Sorry Lana, you know he doesn’t deserve you. Naruto says coming up and hugging her.
Thank you, Babe. Can you help me make him regret it.
Chuckle – you’re asking the #1 prankster in boarding school. Naruto teased. Hmm, give me one hour Lana. I’ll be right back.
… so, what’s with you. No snide remarks. No ha-ha nothing Archer like besides the danger zone comment. Lana says.
… mother lied to me about my dad and apparently, she’s not sure who he is. The funeral was fake too.
Sorry I asked. Lana says leaving the office.
There you are Pam. I was looking for you. Naruto says. I need you to get everyone, but Cyril and mom, in Krieger’s lab. Within the hour.
Consider it done whiskers. Pam says.
- One hour later –
Naruto walked in with Lana seeing the ISIS staff in Krieger’s lab.
So, what’s up Naru~. Cheryl says seductively getting a growl from Lana and a chuckle from Naruto.
Everyone has heard how Cyril cheated on Lana. Whether you like her or not it’s not cool cheating. So, I am officially offering ten-thousand dollars for the ultimate prank to be pulled on Cyril from the start of work tomorrow till we are off. First place is ten- thousand dollars, second place five thousand dollars AND third place two thousand dollars.
The whole lab was talking and getting excited throwing ideas around. Krieger started making an evil laugh running into the other room well Several others ran out saying they needed to go shopping.
This is going to be awesome. Archer says. This is just what I needed to. Wait why am I still here I need to get woodhouse to tell me where that itching powder is I used on him.
Naruto was alone in the lab with a laughing Lana.
I see I made you feel better. Naruto says teasingly kissing her forehead before Lana grabbed him and gave him a deep kiss and started undoing his pants before jumping up and locking her legs around his waist. She moved her panties aside, taking him all in.
Hours later Lana was walking back to her office with a blissful smile on her face, well Naruto was in the lab fixing his clothes.
She was really happy. Naruto says chuckling to himself.
Cyril, are you allergic to anything? Rey asked.
Pineapple why? Cyril asked.
Oh, you’re find out. Rey says evilly running out of the office.
Later that night at Malory’s apartment Naruto was removing bullets from his brothers chest well keeping him hooked up to an I.V. and blood.
Well, whose fault is that? Malory asked.
… Really mom. Naruto says not removing his eyes from his brother.
He was waving a cleaver, screaming in Russian. Malory says,
Uta, I want you to repeat what you saw me do. Naruto says to her.
Are you sure I’m ready. Uta asked.
If you get shot, you can’t go to a hospital. You need to be able to remove it yourself and not use drugs. Remove the last two bullets well I seal these. Mom, do you know why he has a Band-Aid on his head.
No idea dear. Malory says watching calmly.
- 30 minutes later –
What in gods name is that? Malory asked, pointing to a bag with a chip inside of it next to her son.
… Well, that was in Ster. It was connected to his brain and I’m pretty sure acting as an impulse drive. Ones I get it from Krieger I can tell you more. Naruto growls staring at it a second before looking back to his brother. … Nicely done Uta. The scar should be minimum to none. Uta just smiled looking at Naruto.
- Next day –
Are you sure your ok coming to work Ster. Naruto asked worried about his brother.
Yeah. like I will miss this. I want to see Cyril cry. Archer says smiling.
… Right. Well don’t move around too much. You just had surgery and. Before Naruto could finish his sentence Cyril ran into his office, falling over a desk before slamming the door close.
Pam came by with her pet snake smiling before letting it go under his door.
Archer took a chair at a desk watching and listening to Cyril screaming before he came out slamming his door behind him.
Pam! For the last time I don’t want to see your snake! It’s gross. Cyril screams before Cheryl came by.
He’s right Pam. Here Cyril I baked some brownies for you as someone that teased you too much, well you were with Lana.
Oh, thank you Cheryl this is very HOLY SHIT! WHAT DID YOU PUT IN THESE! Cyril shouts, grabbing a soda on a desk in front of him, well Cheryl was laughing. He chugged the soda down breathing hard before suddenly standing straight and slowly walking in a strange way to the bathroom before shitting himself. The man started running at this point holding his ass. Sterling was laughing hard falling on the ground unable to look away.
- 20 minutes later –
Can someone give me my backup suit please. Cyril shouts from the men’s room.
I’m on it Krieger says smiling before taking a bottle of what looked empty and putting it into his clothes. Twenty minutes later Cyril came out of the bathroom in new clothes.
… Seriously Cheryl who the hell taught you how to cook? Cyril asked, scratching his arm. Everyone watched as the man started scratching his other arm, then his back and then his chest. Krieger put some music on well Some of the team videotaped as He started jumping and moving scratching himself and what looked like he was dancing.
Lana was now with Sterling laughing hard, holding onto Naruto. Several hours later Cyril was naked in the men’s room, afraid to leave and well stuck on the toilet to losing control of his valves.
Ok Everyone this was an awesome day. Krieger the bug beds and dance was amazing. That video has already made over forty-seven thousand views. Your first place. Naruto says opening a suitcase of money getting the man to smile and smell the money. Frodo hacking Cyril’s life and declaring him dead and getting none stop phone calls to his direct line about the sickest sex ideas out their damn respect man. Enjoy this ten thousand. The large man walked up happily taking the money. Now for third place this goes to you Suzie. Our number one receptionist. I had no idea you could be so cunning. Respect to you. I changed it to Five thousand winnings for the lady that tricked Cyril into a gay club and Ray you getting your friends involved to was awesome. Double teaming respect. Here’s Five thousand for both of you.
- Later that night –
Naruto and Lana are making love well he is sitting in a chair and she’s sitting on him with her legs crossed around his back holding him.