Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

‘I tell you to leave when I want you to stay
I'm stuck in my ways, I can't win my own game
If it's meant to be, then I'll throw it away’

-’Self Sabotage’ by Maggie Lindermann

10 Years Ago- June 1975

“Come on Robin, the movie’s about to start!” Peter Buckley called from his spot on the living room couch, his arms stretched open wide to welcome his daughter into his lap.

“Coming Daddy!” Robin called as she held the bowl for her mother to pour the popcorn into. She waited for the bowl to fill up before taking off into the living room, her little eight year old legs nearly giving out on the slippery hardwood floor in the hallway.

“Careful, honey.” Leah Buckley called from behind her, chuckling to herself as she followed her daughter into the living room with their drinks.

“What movie are we watching?” Robin asked as she clambered up into her father’s lap.

“Breakfast at Tiffany’s.” Peter Buckley said, “It’s a classic.”

“What’s it about?” Robin asked as she stuffed popcorn into her mouth, staring at the opening credits of the movie.

“It’s about two people falling in love.” Peter answered with a smile, taking the glass of water from his wife’s outstretched hand.

“Like you and mommy?” Robin asked as her eyes turned into saucers, glueing her eyes to the tv screen. Even from a young age Robin knew that she wanted to be loved like that someday, she just hoped she would be as lucky as her parents were.

“Absolutely.” Peter Buckley said with a warm smile as he wrapped his arm around his wife and pulled her close into the cuddle puddle.

Present Day- November 1985

“Robin?” Barb’s voice came down the line.

“Hi, Barb.” Robin breathed out shakily, why was she making this phone call? Why put the girl who was supposed to be her friend through something that would only hurt her when none of it was supposed to even matter in the first place?

“Why are you calling me right now? It’s late.” And the two of them hadn’t spoken in months.

“I just want you to hear it from me first, because I know it should be me.” Robin bit her lip, tucking her chin into her chest as she stared down at her shoes.

“Robin, what is it?” Barb’s voice sounded like it was already a little on edge.

“I just know she means a lot to you, and I’m so sorry because it just happened and it’s been happening and I don’t know how to stop it.” Robin continued to babble as she tugged at the ends of her hair. “I don’t want to stop it.”

“Robin, I already know.” Barb’s voice sounded small, like there was far too much emotion in it than could be conveyed over hundreds of miles away.

“You know?” Robin felt breathless, her chest heaving like a weight was pressing in on her. “But, how?”

“Nancy called me.”

“What?” Robin felt like the world was spinning, why would Nancy call her? Why would she tell Barb about them?

“I’d like to say thanks for keeping me in the loop, but I’d really rather you not.” Barb’s voice was crackling over the phone.

“Barb, I’m sorry.” Robin whispered, “It just happened.”

“Do you love her?” Barb asked, “Because if you’re just using her, I’ll never forgive you.”

“Barb I-”

Click. Robin pulled the phone away from her ear, the dial tone echoing out of the receiver as she hung it back up. Barb had just hung up on her, and where the fuck did she get off asking that kind of question before doing so?

Robin leaned back against the welcome center, her sweatshirt clinging to the cold bricks. It was just a question. A simple one really with an even easier answer. Of course Robin didn’t love Nancy. How could she? This whole situationship they had found themselves in was one of convenience. They were both getting something out of it. It didn’t occur to her at that moment that Nancy had suggested they start sleeping with each other on the regular, nor the fact that she had called Barb first.

Robin was too wrapped up in her own thoughts on Barb’s question. She knew she was developing feelings for her roommate, ones that she wished would just go away. She supposed that perhaps they would only go away if she stopped sleeping with the curly haired girl, something she wished she could do forever.

“I’ve got to catch a grip.” Robin said under her breath as she began the trek back to the dorms. She had some time to think, but of course with Robin that was never quite a good thing.

“Hey, I was starting to wonder where you were.” Nancy greeted her roommate as Robin bursted through the door.

“Classes ran late.” Robin said, avoiding eye contact as she dropped her bag on her desk and plopped into the seat.

“Everything okay?” Nancy asked curiously, feeling the air change in the room at Robin’s entrance. Something was wrong.

“Nothing, just trying to focus on exams coming up.” Robin twisted her ring a few times before unzipping her bag and pulling out the most recent book she had been reading for her Russian literature class. “I’ve just never really been good at studying.”

“You’ve always been top of your classes though, behind me of course.” Nancy said with a glint in her eye.

Robin slid her eyes over to where Nancy was currently sitting in her own desk chair, the smirk on her lips infuriating as always. Robin wanted to kiss it off her face, ducking her head down at the thought and clenching her hand into a fist at her side.

She had been thinking about the short conversation she had with Barb on the phone, if she could even call it that. Doyouloveherdoyouloveherdoyouloveherdoyouloveher.

“Robin seriously, are you sure it’s just exams?” Nancy asked again, her voice leaking into concern.

Robin nodded her head vigorously. “Yeah, yeah, just studying. Normally I don’t have to study at all, but lately I haven’t been able to focus very much.” That part was true, Nancy was taking up just about any spare time Robin had for homework lately.

“Well, I’m sure I could fix that.” Nancy said, causing Robin to look up at her once more. The dirty blonde swallowed the lump in her throat at the cheeky smile the shorter girl had on her lips.

“What’s that?” Robin dared to ask, her stomach somersaulting at the possibilities.

Nancy shrugged, “Oh just something Steve always tried to get me to do, but I guess I just never felt compelled to before. Probably because I never really needed to study all that much, myself.”

“And because it was Steve.” Robin added skeptically, her eyes slowly turning into slits.

“Yeah, that definitely had to do with it too.” Nancy said with a giggle.

Well she certainly had her baited now, Robin thought. “What is it, your plan?”

Nancy reached into her desk and pulled out a pile of blank index cards. The curly haired girl never went anywhere without them. “Fill these out with whatever information you need to remember for your exam and I’ll read them off to you.”

“That’s it?” Robin asked, her lips curling upwards into a small smile. “Can’t say that’s revolutionary there, Princess.”

“What did I tell you about calling me that?” Nancy asked, a brow raised.

“Oh, you like it.” Robin said before she could think, her eyes quickly diverted from the other girl’s and looked somewhere over her shoulder at the sun dipping behind the trees outside.

Nancy was slow to respond, stuttering for a moment before shaking her head, “That’s not true, it makes me feel like you don’t respect me.”

Robin looked back at her, that couldn’t be less true, she respected the hell out of Nancy. Even when she couldn’t stand her, there was a part of her that always admired her resilience and pure will to be the biggest pain in the ass possible. Her eyes skated over Nancy’s face now, taking in the light dusting of a blush on her cheek bones- The brunette was lying.

Robin cocked her head, her smile turning into a smirk. “Do you like the idea of me not respecting you?”

Nancy flushed even brighter, her bottom lip tucking up into her teeth, a tick Robin had learned all too well. Nancy was thinking, which could only mean one thing.

“You’re a dirty girl, Wheeler.” Robin chuckled, shaking her head. “Who knew, it’s like I won the lottery.”

Nancy scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “That feels rather personal, and I don’t think you should be acting like you know everything about me.”

Oh, but doesn’t she? Robin feels like she has known Nancy since day one on that football field all those years ago, bright neon hall monitor sash and all. “I think you like the idea of giving up some of that control you pretend to love so much.”

Nancy looked away, eyes gluing themselves to the closet behind the dirty blonde. “If you don’t want me to help you study you can just say so.”

Robin chuckled, this was familiar territory. She felt most comfortable here, the game of ping pong with her roommate the most comforting thing to her these days. This she could handle, when it was just about sex it was predictable. Even if Nancy wanted to kick her upside the head right now.

Robin shrugged, “Prove me wrong then.”

“Excuse me?” Nancy’s brows etched together in confusion, blue sliding back to meet blue.

“I’m going to wager that everything I just said was true, and I’m going to suggest we try something out. Let’s take this beyond our room, I bet there’s something inside you just begging to be set free.” Robin couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. Hell, she was starting to turn herself on.

Nancy shifted in her seat, prim and proper stockinged legs crossed one over the other. She was a far cry from the horny filthy mouthed slut she was just a few short nights ago. Robin could get her back there, in fact she was already starting to figure out exactly how.

“Deal?” Robin asked, her eyes taking in the flush that was creeping down the open collar of Nancy’s shirt. What Robin would give to cross the room right now and push her hands up beneath the sweater vest and palm at the shorter girl’s shirt. They would probably both come before their clothes were even off.

Nancy sucked in air, her chest shaky. Everything Robin had just said was as close to the truth as anyone had ever bothered to get. It was like Robin could see right through her to all of her most vulnerable places. It scared her, the prospect of what the taller girl may find if she pulled back the curtain far enough, but god did she want everything that she just said.

Nancy licked her lips nervously before nodding, “Deal.”

“So are you gonna finish telling me your plan to help me study?” Robin asked a moment later after cooling herself down, turning to look at where Nancy was trying to focus back on her essay again.

“Oh, it just involved me stripping for every answer you got right.” Nancy said it like it was no big deal, “But I don’t think you deserve it now, so I’ll just read them to you like normal.”

Robin gasped, a hand to her chest. “You tease.”

“You like it.” Nancy echoed Robin’s words.

Robin grinned at Nancy’s bowed head, nodding to herself. It had to be her most favorite thing she has learned about her roommate thus far.

Thanksgiving break was coming up fast, they were supposed to be heading home in less than a week and Nancy was starting to get nervous. She had bought a last minute train ticket for the same time slot as Robin, but hadn’t told the other girl yet. A part of her was embarrassed at doing something so silly, thinking that the other girl would actually want to spend just over twenty four hours on a train with her. The other part of her was excited and wanted it to be a surprise, she just hoped Robin would be happy to know that she wouldn’t have to sit on the train by herself without any company.

“So are you going to tell her?” A voice asked, snapping Nancy out of her thoughts and making her realize that she was chewing her bottom lip nearly raw at the thoughts running through her head.

The curly haired girl looked up from her notebook, blinking at Guy who was sitting across from her at their table in the food hall. “What?” She asked, a little taken aback at being pulled out of her reverie.

Guy chuckled, pushing their food around their plate before looking back up at her. “Robin, are you going to tell her that you bought a ticket to ride home with her or are you just going to follow her to the station like a creep?”

“I’ll tell her.” Nancy waved her friend off before taking a bite of her food.

“Right.” Guy eyed her up before looking down at their watch, “Well that means you have about 48 hours before break starts.”

It was Sunday afternoon and they only had two days left of classes before Nancy and Robin were expecting on a train that would take them from Boston to New York City, and then another train to Indianapolis.

At Nancy’s faraway stare Guy moved their hand atop her own, “It doesn’t have to be weird you know, Robin will probably be happy to know you’re riding home with her.”

“Right, no yeah I know.” Nancy nodded, fighting the voice in her head telling her that she wasn’t overthinking it. The voice in her head was constantly telling her she was fucking up, and this whole situation with Robin was the biggest one yet.

“You really like her, don’t you?” Guy asked a second later after they had let go of Nancy’s hand and went back to their lunch.

Nancy shook her head, ignoring the thrumming of her heart beating inside her chest, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Guy just chuckled, “Right.”

Five Years Ago- December 1980

Robin waited patiently on the living couch as she waited for her parents to start their Friday night movie, trying to focus hard on the book in her lap and not the yelling from down the hallway.

“Don’t lie to me Peter, I saw her!” Leah Buckley’s voice echoed down the hardwood floors.

“Leah, I can see why you would be jealous but she’s just my secretary.” Peter’s voice bounced off of the wood paneled walls of the kitchen.

“I’m not jealous, I’m your wife and I can feel it in my gut that something isn’t right.”

“Oh here we go, your gut is always right.”

Robin flinched at the tone of her father’s voice, feeling the eye roll from the couch.

“Tell me why you’ve been staying late every day then!”

“Because it’s Christmas and I’ve been trying to make the extra money to cover Robin’s trumpet lessons.”

“Don’t blame our daughter.”

“I’m not blaming anyone! God, if this is how tonight is going to be I’m going out.”

Robin clenched her book tightly, listening for the telltale signs of her father grabbing his keys and storming down the hallway towards the front door. She watched as he came into view, soft red hair and the five o’clock shadow just starting to appear on his chin. He still had on his suit from work, his tie loosened and his shirt untucked. He looked over at his daughter from where she sat on the couch, knees covered in bandaids and the knit sweater her grandmother had given her last Christmas almost hiding her all together.

“Sorry kid, looks like we’re going to have to take a rain check on Casablanca.”

Robin’s lip wobbled as she fought back the tears that were clawing at her from the inside. “Will you be home before I go to bed?” She asked, her voice small. She could see her mom out of the corner of her eye standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

Peter Buckley sighed, wiping a hand across his face as he reached for the doorknob. “I don’t know Robs, I’ll try.”

Try. It certainly was the first time she had heard it, but most certainly wasn’t the last.

“Okay.” Robin said, watching her dad nod at her before his eyes skated over to his wife, a darkness clouding over the tiredness that was just there, before he wrenched open the door and stormed out into the freezing night.

“I’m sorry, Robin.” Leah called to her daughter before disappearing back into the kitchen. It would be the first of many Friday night movies that Robin watched alone, and when Rick and Ilsa kissed in the final scene before Rick made Ilsa get on the plane with her husband, she couldn’t help but wish that her parents would get through the rough patch they were currently in. Maybe just maybe, true love wasn’t a lost cause like it was in this movie.

“So let me get this straight, and by straight I mean totally gay.” Stacey started off strong, chuckling at her own joke as she leaned against the coffee counter in front of Robin. “Nancy comes in here every day after lunch for what you called an ‘afternoon pick me up’, practically eats you up with her eyes while you make her her coffee and blush like the little pansy you are, and the girl still thinks you’re into me?” Stacey placed a hand on her chest for emphasis all while shaking her head. “You said this girl has a 3.9 GPA?”

Robin rolled her eyes, “Will you shut up?” She looked over the blonde’s shoulder and out the window where Nancy was right on time walking past. “Here she comes, act like you love me or something.”

“Oh man, I’m really going to have to flex my acting muscles for this one.” Stacey sighed, stretching her arms above her head in a big display as Nancy strolled in through the front door.

Robin bit her lip, avoiding the burning desire to look up and meet Nancy’s expectant gaze. “I don’t recall you ever pretending before.”

Stacey’s mouth opened in shock, and if the woman was capable of being embarrassed, Robin liked to think she would be now. “Buckley, you flirt.” She said instead, making Robin’s palms sweat as her eyes shifted towards Nancy who had just stepped up behind Stacey.

Stacey leaned back down onto the counter so that the low cut of her sweater was on full display, fully aware of their audience. “What are you doing after work today? I’m thinking we could practice some more.”

Robin swallowed, her eyes flicking back and forth between her best friend and lover. She was certainly not lost to the tightness in Nancy’s jaw, her nails biting into the elbows of her jacket as she stood with her arms crossed. If looks could kill, Stacey would already be six feet under and Robin hated the fact that she was supposed to pretend she didn’t see it.

“He-hey Nancy!” Robin greeted her roommate nervously. She wanted nothing more than to come clean right in that instant and tell Nancy it wasn’t what it looked like. That Stacey was just being a dumb asshole with zero manners and they weren’t actually dating. The burning in her gut was begging Nancy to be able to see right through the facade.

“Hi.” Nancy’s response was quick and short, her eyes not leaving the back of Stacey’s head.

“Oh, hi Nancy how are you?” Stacey grinned, turning around to face the curly haired girl.

“Fine, thanks.” Nancy quickly looked away towards Robin. “Can I just have my usual, I’m running late for class today.”

Robin nodded her head, grabbing for a cup and nearly knocking the whole stack of them over. “Sure, sure coming right up.” She stuttered out, the fact that Nancy was not in fact late prominent in her mind as she made the iced coffee with cream and sugar.

“Doesn’t Robin just make the best coffee?” Stacey asked, the lilt in her tone soft around the dirty blonde’s name.

Nancy shrugged, “I guess just as good as anyone else does.”

Robin awkwardly handed the coffee over, her fingers brushing Nancy’s own in the hand off. Both girls stared at each other for a moment before Nancy mumbled out a quick goodbye and bolted from the coffee shop as fast as possible.

“Well, that was easy.” Stacey smirked, learning her back against the counter as she watched Nancy storm past the window. “Hope you like your girl jealous, I definitely felt the knife go into my back at least five times.”

Robin let out a heavy breath, not realizing that she had been holding it. “You see it too, then?”

“That Nancy has the major hots for you?” Stacey laughed, “Uh yeah, I don’t think you need a magnifying glass for that one, babe.”

Robin felt her chest swell, maybe she wasn’t reading into things.

Nancy fidgeted in the hard wooden chair as she tried to focus on the final touches of her journalism essay. It was the last night before hand-ins and after a short Thanksgiving break, it was crunch time for exams and the end of the semester.

The hour was growing late as she stayed well after most students had left to head to dinner, which was exactly when Nancy liked being at the library the most. When she was truly alone, just her and the librarian, Nancy truly felt like she could actually think without the threat of any distractions.

It was short lived however, as she heard the soft footsteps fall on the carpet behind her.

“Thought I’d find you here.” A soft pair of lips brushed against the shell of Nancy’s ear, her shoulders stiffening at the familiar voice.

Nancy turned to look at Robin, “What are you doing here?”

Robin shrugged, pulling out the chair beside the shorter girl and sat down. “I was just curious to see if you were willing to take me up on that deal now.”

Nancy thought for a moment before her lips parted and a tiny gasp escaped her. She looked around the small part of the library they were in, closed in on two sides by books, but the information desk was still in plain sight behind them. “You can’t be serious.”

Robin smirked, looking beneath the table. “I think you dropped your pencil.”

Nancy watched as her roommate ducked beneath the table they were seated at, feeling Robin’s hands on her knees a moment later.

“Stay still, Princess.” Robin’s voice rumbled between her legs as she parted them, the skirt Nancy was wearing riding up just the slightest bit, cool air ghosting over where her thighs met stockings.

Nancy fought the urge to shiver, feeling goosebumps beginning to make their way up and down her legs. She leaned down, glaring daggers at the dirty blonde from beneath the table. “Robin come on, we’re in public.”

Robin smirked, her eyes skating over the sight before her, biting her lip. “The librarian is at her desk right where I can see her and it’s dinner time, nobody else is here.” Her hands lingered on Nancy’s knees as she gazed up at her with a dare in her eyes.

“I have to study.” Nancy argued, pursing her lips to try and hide the tremor in her voice. She couldn’t deny to herself how much the threat of getting caught excited her, but she could pretend that she didn’t, or at least she thought she could.

“So study.” Robin said simply, leaning in and brushing her lips over the inside of the brunette’s left knee, pressing a kiss against the soft pale skin before her fingers smoothed up her thigh ahead of her mouth, hooking into the panties hidden beneath the skirt.

Nancy swallowed, her mouth dry as she quickly looked around her before back down at the girl who captivated her every thought. She let a hand shakily stretch out to comb through Robin’s hair, her legs falling open to invite her in.

Robin chuckled low to herself, scooting in closer as her knees pressed hard into the shallow carpet as she pulled Nancy’s underwear slowly down her legs and off of stockinged feet before slipping them into her back pocket. “Just relax, baby.” Robin let the petname slip before she could swallow it, choosing to press forward anyways because she could tell by the darkened look in Nancy’s eyes that she had the girl hook, line, and sinker. She could laugh at exactly how little convincing it took really, and just as Robin had suspected, Nancy liked not being in charge.

Robin continued to run her nails up and down the insides of Nancy’s thighs, licking her lips as she was spurred on by the shorter girl sinking lower in her seat. “Let’s raise the stakes even more, hmm?” She mumbled, pushing the skirt higher up so that it was bunched around Nancy’s waist, pulling the girl even closer to her so that the brunette could no longer look down the length of her body at her.

Robin smiled as she felt Nancy’s hands still on her shoulders, nails scratching just below the taller girl’s ear right where she knew it would make her melt. She pressed on, daring herself to speak as she felt rather than saw Nancy hanging on to her every word. “I’ll eat you out as long as you focus on studying, you’ll let me know that you are by tapping your pencil on the table.” Her lips curved upwards into a grin, “If you stop, I stop, and I’ll know when the best time to stop is.” She threatened ever so sweetly, thinking back to just how Nancy had wanted to study with her the other day. Payback was a bitch, she thought as she raked her eyes over the dark curls at the apex of Nancy’s thighs and let out a sigh at just how beautiful the girl was.

Robin focused on Nancy’s body then, waiting for a soft spoken ‘okay’ before going any further. It wasn’t until she heard the pencil beginning to tap above her head did Robin break out into a face splitting grin. She pulled the girl the rest of the way to her mouth, dragging her tongue through the wetness that was already building up, groaning low in her throat so that no one could hear it, but Nancy could feel it.

Nancy gasped as she felt the first swipe of Robin’s tongue, whirling her head around to make sure that they were still alone. The librarian still had her head down at the desk, Nancy was borderline convinced that the older woman had nodded off. She tapped her pencil along the table, feeling the muscles in her stomach twist as Robin began a rhythm between her thighs. Biting her lip, she felt a blush spread across her cheeks at just how much she wanted to do as Robin said, and study. Flipping through her textbook, she picked up where she had left off, eyes flitting over the page as she barely took in the words, using all of her focus to keep the pencil tapping and her breathing controlled.

Nancy sighed as she felt Robin’s tongue swirl around her clit before dipping lower, causing her stomach to flip as she felt her roommate’s tongue enter her and curve upwards, drinking her in. Nancy’s eyes fluttered shut for just a moment, the pencil stilling in her hand as she felt Robin pull away from her. Nancy leaned back, pouting as she watched Robin between her legs, mouth slick as she arched a brow at her roommate. “Are you studying?”

Nancy felt the familiar irritation bubbling low in her gut as she squinted her eyes down at the girl who was way too pleased with herself, letting out a shaky breath. “Yes.” She lied, biting her lip as she watched Robin lick her own.

“Really, because I didn’t hear tapping.” Robin challenged, leaning back on her ankles as she continued to smirk up at her roommate.

Nancy could feel her hands ball into fists on top of the table, she wanted to lay Robin out flat and put her mouth to better use than what it was currently doing. Nancy felt the heat coiling in her belly, looking away from the taller girl and out at her surroundings.

“Come on princess, aren’t you going to be a good girl for me?” Robin asked, leaning back in so that her words whispered against her cooling skin. It was meant to be a tease, but Nancy just heard it as a challenge.

Nancy could feel her hands shake as she unclenched them, clearing her throat. “I’ll go back to studying.” She bit out, wanting to have Robin make her do it. Nancy’s mind grew foggy at the image of being pushed around and pinned to a wall between the book stacks, Robin taking what she wanted without permission. Turning her brain off, she pushed her chair back, shoving her skirt down as she watched the confused look contort Robin’s face.

“Come here.” Nancy clipped out, dragging Robin out from beneath the table and pulling her towards a dark corner of the library that not even she had been to.

“Where are we going?” Robin asked, trying to keep up with how quickly Nancy was moving.

Nancy checked to make sure they were alone before she pushed Robin back into the wall between the shelves. Robin immediately slid down so that she was able to reach Nancy’s mouth without any strain. Maybe Nancy wasn’t ready to give up all of her control just yet. “Fuck me.” She demanded before kissing Robin hard, swiping her tongue against her bottom lip and groaning at the taste of herself.

“God, you are so fucking hot.” Robin growled, immediately getting to work beneath the curly haired girl’s skirt, running her fingers through her slit and circling the bundle of nerves she had just wrapped her lips around a moment ago.

Nancy smirked, pushing down onto Robin’s fingers until she felt the friction she needed. “Oh, right there.” She whispered against Robin’s ear, sucking her earlobe into her mouth.

Robin shivered, picking up the pace as she rocked into Nancy, hanging onto every quiet hitch of breath that escaped her lips. She peppered kisses along the shorter girl’s neck and jaw, licking a stripe against her pulse point as she felt the girl’s walls tighten around her.

“More, give me more.” Nancy pleaded, bunching Robin’s sweatshirt into her fist as she tried to get even closer.

Robin obliged, allowing a third finger to slide into Nancy, biting back a moan as she felt her split around her. “Fuck, you’re such a slut.” Robin let slip, stilling her fingers at her own words. She had never meant to say them out loud, much less to Nancy herself.

Nancy however only seemed to get tighter, fucking herself onto Robin’s fingers as her nails dug into the taller girl’s shoulders. “Say it again.”

Robin felt herself nearly cream her briefs at the words, her legs going shaky as she held herself up with Nancy bouncing on top of her. “You’re such a slut for me, Wheeler. Dripping all over me, I can feel you soaking through my jeans.”

Nancy whimpered, stifling it in Robin’s neck as she shuttered against her hand. “Fuck.”

Robin let her ride it out, brushing her hair away from where it was starting to stick to her neck and pressing another kiss there, slow and deep with just the right amount of teeth that shouldn’t leave a bruise.

Nancy stilled against Robin, letting out a small gasp as the other girl slipped her fingers out of her and sucked them into her mouth.

“That was supposed to be on my tongue.” Robin said with a smirk, “You robbed me.”

“I owe you one.” Nancy chuckled with a wink, fanning herself before remembering the words that had just been exchanged between them. “I’m sorry if that was too much.” She tucked her chin into her chest as she straightened out her clothes and ran a hand through her curls. Jonathan had always refused to play along when she had asked him to be a bit rougher with her, she could only imagine if he knew what she really liked.

Robin chuckled, “Not at all, I liked it.”

“Really?” Nancy asked, and she felt like there was more to her question than she had meant for there to be. What she really wanted to hear was ‘I like you’.

Robin nodded, taking in the shorter girl’s blush and smiled. “Come on, let’s get out of here. I’m starving.”

Nancy watched as Robin brushed past her, heading back towards where they had left all of Nancy’s books. “How does pizza sound?” Robin asked as she turned to look over her shoulder at her roommate.

“Perfect.” Nancy smiled a soft smile, following after the dirty blonde with wobbly knees.

The night couldn’t be more perfect, Robin thought as she sat beside Nancy on the couch in the common area. They had walked to get their pizza from a shop right off of campus before trekking back to the dorms, giggling and excited to tear into their dinner whilst watching whatever movie was currently on tv.

“I love this movie!” Nancy gasped, placing a hand on top of Robin’s to stop her from flipping the channel.

“Really?” Robin asked, looking at her roommate in disbelief. “You like musicals?”

Nancy shrugged, biting into her slice of pizza. “I like this musical.”

Robin looked at the curly haired girl and then back to the tv with a chuckle. “It’s John Travolta, isn’t it?”

Nancy rolled her eyes, bumping her shoulder into the taller girl’s. “What, should I be more of a Sandy girl?”

Robin shook her head, “Nope, Rizzo is where it’s at.” She leaned back against the couch, crossing one long leg over the other as she bit into her own slice of pepperoni pizza.

Nancy shook her head, smirking at the grease that dripped onto Robin’s sweatshirt. “So you’re making fun of me for a movie that you also like?”

Robin shook her head, “Would you believe me if I told you that Steve made me watch it?”

Nancy laughed, “Yeah, I don’t think so.”

“Oh, so sue me, I like a good musical number every once in a while.” Robin scoffed as she turned back towards the tv to distract herself from just how soft and perfect Nancy currently looked in her sweatpants and messy bun.

“You’re a mess.” Nancy grinned, taking another bite of her pizza, being sure to hang over her paper plate as she did so.

“You like it.” Robin blurted out without thinking, eyes turning into saucers at her own words.

Nancy froze, nearly choking on her food.

“What I mean is, you don’t hate it.” Robin tried to save it, but couldn’t help trying to read every inch of Nancy’s face for secrets that she wanted more than anything to understand.

Nancy waited a moment, focusing on Danny Zucko making an ass of himself at the pep rally. “Do you remember that time we went mini golfing?”

Why was she bringing that up? Robin thought, feeling her heart slamming itself against her ribcage. What did it all mean? She decided to play it cool, Nancy was probably just thinking about how they got competitive with one another. “Yeah, you’ve been harassing me for a long time, Wheeler.” Ever since the day they talked to each other for the first time. Nancy was always trying to push Robin’s buttons in some way.

Nancy’s jaw dropped, “I was not harassing you!” She scrunched her face up in that adorable way she always did, looking to the pizza crust in her hand before throwing it at Robin’s face.

“Hey!” Robin felt the crust smack her on the chin. “You’re only proving my point now!”

Nancy broke out into a giggle, her hand clutching her stomach as she laughed.

Robin felt the courage now that she was being spurred on, “You have to admit there was nothing straight about you challenging me to a cherry stem tongue tying contest.” She watched as Nancy’s face flooded with color, her heart swelling at the image.

“Maybe not.” Nancy smirked, looking down at her hands now in her lap. “I don’t know what made me say that.”

“Just admit it, you wanted to know if I was a good kisser.” Robin challenged, leaning in closer as she said it.

Nancy swallowed, her eyes flicking down to Robin’s lips. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Robin studied the brunette’s face, “You’ve got something-” She raised a hand to swipe her thumb at the corner of Nancy’s mouth, wiping away a small drop of tomato sauce. “Got it.” She smiled, eyes studying Nancy’s own as she felt the girl shift beneath her hand.

“Nancy I-” Robin wasn’t sure what she was about to admit, but thankfully it was interrupted by the stairwell door opening and slamming shut. Both girls pushed back from one another as if an electric shockwave had passed through them, leaving enough space for what felt like a whole soccer field between them.

“Thought I’d find you here.” A familiar voice interrupted their soft moment as Robin tightened her jaw in annoyance. What the fuck was Stacey doing here?

Nancy looked up at the uninvited blonde as she stood before them with her arms crossed and a knowing smirk on her face. It was maddening, the curly haired girl thought as she immediately pulled her legs up and into her chest.

“Stace, what are you doing here?” Robin bit out, looking away from Nancy and to her friend who she definitely didn’t remember telling her she’d see her later.

“I thought I’d come and steal you away for the night, but I can see you’re busy.” Stacey said, her eyebrows raising in interest as she looked between the two girls sitting an awkward amount apart from one another.

Robin could feel Nancy glaring a hole into the side of her face as she did the same to her best friend. “Oh, well I’m already changed into my pajamas.” Robin tried to come up with an excuse so that she could go back to the perfect moment that she was living in just a few short seconds ago.

“Well we could fix that.” Stacey teased, “Wouldn’t be the first time I got you out of your boxers.” She waggled her brows in emphasis.

Robin swallowed, looking to Nancy who’s jaw was tighter than she ever remembered seeing it, an intrusive thought of her getting sliced by her jawline making Robin forget the English alphabet for a moment.

“Go ahead, don’t let me stop you.” Nancy said, her voice cold and harsh; so unlike what it was right before Stacey came and ruined everything.

“Uh.” Robin looked dumbly between the two women, her brain empty of all thought as she quickly tried to scramble for something to say.

Stacey looked between Nancy and Robin with the biggest grin imaginable, she reminded Robin of a cat that caught the mouse redhanded. “You know what, let’s take a raincheck on it babe. Clearly you’re not up to socializing tonight, let’s stay in instead. You wouldn’t mind, would you Nancy?”

If Robin was speechless before, now she figured she probably wouldn’t be able to speak in any of the five six languages she knew. Stacey was playing with fire and the blonde knew it as she continued to stare at Nancy like it was her job.

“Not at all.” Nancy said sweetly, scaring Robin to her core. “I think Jack was saying something about wanting to see me tonight anyways.”

“Jack?” Robin blurted out confused, she thought everything between him and Nancy was over. She thought she only had Guy to worry about.

Nancy nodded her head, standing to her feet and brushing her sweatpants off of any lingering crumbs from their dinner. “I’ll just grab some stuff and the room is all yours.” She pushed past Stacey and down the hall towards their dorm room.

Robin stared after her in disbelief before her eyes slid over to where Stacey was chuckling. “I fucking hate you.” She growled.

“You guys are so disgustingly cute.” The blonde smirked, moving to plop herself down in the space Nancy had just vacated and helped herself to a slice of now cold pizza. “Ugh, I hate Grease.” She said as she looked at the tv, taking a bite.

Robin sighed, sinking back into the couch and pressing her hands into her eyes until she saw stars. When she opened them she just caught Nancy slipping down the stairwell, messy bun now back down in their naturally bouncy state.

“So what were the two of you doing, other than not having a date and flirting with one another.” Stacey ripped Robin’s attention back from the now shut metal door.

Robin blinked, staring at the blonde with defeat. “I have no idea.”

Four Years Ago- February 1981

Robin fidgeted on the living couch as she waited for her parents to say they were ready for movie night. Tonight they had told her she could pick what they watched, and she was more than excited to roam the aisles of vhs tapes at the family video store after school, deliberating over which movie would be the best choice.

She ended up choosing Urban Cowboy, if not for the enticing image of John Travolta in a cowboy hat. She wished she could wear something like that, she had thought as she tucked the tape close to her chest and marched to the front of the store to rent the movie.

“Hey, Robin.” Leah Buckley’s voice was soft as she entered the room, her husband Peter close behind. “We need to talk to you about something before you start the movie.”

Robin plucked at the fraying edge of her sweatshirt sleeve, not wanting to look at either of her parents at that moment. She had a sinking feeling in her stomach at what the conversation was about. They have been fighting for months incessantly, Robin was starting to get used to it.

Peter cleared his throat, brushing his palms against the front of his jeans before sitting down carefully beside his daughter. “I know you have an idea what this might be about, you’re a very smart girl.”

Robin looked at him out of the corner of her eye before shifting them over to where her mother stood in her work uniform motionless at the foot of the couch. She was always so far away, and her father too close, as if trying to make up for all the nights he didn’t come home at all.

“Robin, I’m so sorry that these last couple of months have been so hard on you, on all of us.” Peter tried again, resting an awkward hand on the girl’s shoulder. “But you’re mother and I have decided to take a break.”

“You’ve decided.” Leah bit out.

Peter glared at his wife before looking back at Robin who was staring at the tv screen where she had the movie paused. “I’m going to be staying at a friend’s house for a little while to get some space, but I don’t want you to think I’m leaving you behind, because I would never do that.”

Robin could read right through the lie as he said it. He was trying to soften the blow so that it would hurt less later when they told her the full truth, but really she just wished he would rip it off like a bandaid.

“Maybe we can watch this movie together while your mother goes to work.” Peter said, running a hand through his auburn hair. “I’m sure you picked a good one, you always do.”

Robin clenched her hands into fists at her sides, leaning away from her dad as she turned to look at him. “Are you guys getting divorced?” She asked point blank, because it was all she could think about ever since she had heard Chrissy Cunningham was going through the same thing a few months back.

Peter sighed, looking to Leah for help, but instead his wife looked right through him at their daughter. “It’s not that easy, kid.” He tried, still wanting to dance around the subject, as if he thought there was a way to come back from the mistakes he had already made.

Robin crossed her arms over her chest, “I wish you would, I can’t listen to it anymore!” She yelled as she stood to her feet. “Mom cries every night when you don’t come home, I can hear her through the wall, you’re hurting her.”

Peter pressed his hands into his eyes, “Robin, you couldn’t possibly understand everything that’s going on between your mother and I.”

“This isn’t what love is supposed to be.” She bit out. All of the movies they had watched over the years had told her that, and showed her what it looked like when two people loved each other. She couldn’t think of the last time she had seen that reflected in her parents' relationship.

Leah bit her lip, looking between her husband and teenage daughter. “Real life isn’t like your movies, little bird. They only set your expectations up for failure.”

Failure. Failure. Failure.

Present Day- November 1985

Nancy stood in front of Jack and Guy’s door awkwardly, mulling over what exactly she would say when they opened the door. It wasn’t like she had time to call them before heading over, she just needed to get away from Robin and Stacey as fast as possible. If the boys were busy, she’d figure out what to do next. Maybe she could just wander campus, huddle up in the welcome center if she had to. Hell, she could do what Robin did all those weeks ago and wait until it was late and fall asleep on the common room couch.

She braced herself for the possible rejection as she knocked on the door, pulling her overnight bag higher up on her shoulder where it was beginning to slip. She waited with bated breath as she heard the soft thuds of approaching feet before the door opened.

“You’re not the cute pizza boy.” Jack said when he saw Nancy standing in front of his apartment door.

Nancy cocked her head to the side with a chuckle, “No sorry, just my pjs and naked face for you tonight.”

“Oh, well that certainly feels intimate.” Jack smirked, grabbing Nancy's hand and pulling her in. “Come in, it’s freezing out here.”

Nancy smiled as she allowed herself to be pulled into the apartment, letting Jack take her bag as she watched him fuss over her.

“So, what are you doing here?” He asked a moment later after he took off her coat and hung it by the door.

“It’s a long story.” She sighed.

Jack smiled warmly at her, “Well, Guy’s out for the night so it can just be us two.”

“And the cute pizza delivery guy when he gets here.” Nancy reminded him.

Jack chuckled, “Yes well, that plan has certainly gone out the window tonight.” He waved Nancy off when she tried to say she could leave. “You’re way better company anyway.” He moved towards the kitchen, “Can I get you anything to drink? Tea, coffee, something stronger?”

Nancy didn’t even think about it, “Whiskey.”

“I always knew you were the girl for me.” Jack grinned, reaching into the cabinet above the refrigerator where he kept the liquor.

Nancy shuffled into the kitchen and made herself comfortable on one of the bar stools, watching Jack pull two rocks glasses out of the freezer. A man after her own heart she thought to herself amusedly.

“Did you want to talk about this long story?” Jack asked a moment later as he was pouring Nancy two fingers of bourbon.

Nancy slid the glass towards herself, twirling the amber liquid in the cup, watching as it clung to the sides of the glass and slowly slid back to the bottom. “It’s Robin.”

“Well, of course.” Jack said, as if it was the most obvious thing he had ever heard. At Nancy’s raised brow he shrugged, taking a sip from his glass. “Guy told me.”

“Is there anything you two don’t share?” Nancy asked, pretending to be annoyed.

Jack thought about it for a second before shaking his head. “Can’t think of a single thing.”

“You’re so annoying.” Nancy rolled her eyes.

Jack watched her for a moment, his eyes searching her for all of her tells that he had learned in such a short period of time. They really were better off as friends, Nancy thought. “So what about Robin?” He asked.

“She’s with Stacey.”

“And that’s a bad thing.” Jack said, assuming by the disgruntled look on his friend’s face.

Nancy bit her lip, turning away to glance at the door before back at her glass. “I just wish she would admit that she has feelings for her.”

“That Robin has feelings for Stacey you mean.” Jack insinuated.

Nancy nodded, taking a sip of her drink, grimacing and shooting it back instead as she relished in the burn that poured its way down her throat. “They’re always together and flirting. I mean they’re probably fucking right now!” She threw her hands up in frustration. “Why won’t she just tell me the truth?”

Jack pursed his lips, thinking. He looked as if he was taking a chance as he spoke, “You do realize you’re describing you and Robin, right?”

Nancy’s eyes flicked up into his own. “It’s different.” She bit out, quickly trying to clear the images of the library just a few short hours ago from her memory.

Jack tapped his glass before finishing it off. “Oh boy, if this is how it’s going to go, I’m gonna need way more of this.”

Nancy slid her cup across the counter to him, “Me too.”

“I can’t believe you did that.” Robin groaned, wiping a hand across her face as she stared at her best friend from where she sat in her desk chair.

“Is there anywhere in here you two haven’t fucked?” Stacey asked in turn, ignoring the question.

Robin rolled her eyes before shaking her head, “Nope.”

Stacey scrunched her nose before shrugging, “Can’t say I haven’t touched worse.” She sat on the edge of Nancy’s bed, clapping her hands together and resting them on her knees.

“You still haven’t answered my question.” Robin answered her.

Stacey smirked, “I’m just doing what you asked me to do, which by the way you owe me for what I saw in the library today.”

“What the fuck where you doing in the library?” Robin gasped. “You don’t read!”

“Uh, rude.” Stacey scoffed before continuing, “I was trying to return something I had borrowed for a project but the librarian was dead asleep.”

“Ok, so what?” Robin asked defensively, “What did you see?”

“Well I saw Nancy dragging you back behind a stack of books and I was going to make a move then to try and get the little priss’s panties in a bunch, but then I heard what you two were up to so I walked my happy ass over to the food hall instead.”

“Unbelievable, you’re unbelievable you know that?” Robin shook her head, before remembering what was said. Her face paled, “What did you hear?”

Stacey chuckled, “Don’t worry cowboy, it sounded like you were doing just fine.” She winked, “I wonder who showed you the ropes, I should give them a call.”

Robin groaned, grabbing the closest thing and throwing her book at Stacey’s annoying face. “I appreciate everything you’re doing, but I think Nancy gets the point now.”

Stacey cocked her head to the side, leaning back on the bed with her hands splayed out behind her. “You really think she doesn’t like you, huh?”

Robin swallowed, the voice in the back of her head chanting failure, failure, failure. “It’s not that I don’t think she does, it’s that I don’t want her to.” It sounded foreign coming out of her mouth, she could barely believe her own words.

Stacey looked at her like she had ten heads. “Why wouldn’t you want the girl you are head over heels for to like you back?”

“Because it would hurt too much.” Robin said somberly, glancing up at the blonde.

“Then why do it at all? Why sleep with her?” Stacey asked, bewildered.

“Because I can’t look away.” Robin whispered. Nancy was like the burning sun, and Robin her moon. Constantly circling one another, but never in the same place for long enough to see the other person clearly.

“Fucking lesbians, man.” Stacey shook her head, “We’re crazy.”

One year ago- August 1984

“Did you pick a movie yet?” Robin called over the top of the aisle as she filed away a couple of returns in the sci-fi section.

“Mm, not yet.” Barb called back, her head bent as she flipped through tapes one by one. “I want something romantic, like a real love story.”

Robin rolled her eyes with a groan, “I hate romance.” Once upon a time it had been her favorite, but her parents made sure that changed just like their marriage had. She tucked another tape in its place on the shelf, “Besides, shouldn't you be wanting to get your mind off of Nancy?”

“There's no getting your mind off of Nancy.” Barb's voice returned through the shelving.

“So I've been told.” Robin grumbled, scanning the movies in front of her for a good movie pick. “What about ‘Alien’?”

“I don't like scary movies.” Barb answered her.

“‘Alien’ isn't scary.” Robin scoffed, “Besides, it's got Sigourney Weaver in a tank top and she has a cool ass cat sidekick. We're watching it.” She snagged the title off the shelf and dropped it onto her cart, rounding the corner to see her friend still searching through the vhs tapes.

“Fine.” Barb sighed, turning to see the movie waving in Robin's hand. “But next week I get to pick a romance movie.”

“Sure, sure.” Robin chuckled, “Now go pick out the snacks you want while I close up shop.”

Present Day- November 1985

Nancy groaned as she rolled over on the leather couch, her hand flying to her temple as she slowly blinked the bright light into her eyes.

“Good morning, sunshine!” Jack’s voice called to her from the kitchen where he was putzing around the coffee maker. “I’ve got an ibuprofen and a glass of water with your name on it.”

Nancy stilled, quickly looking to the watch on her wrist to see the time. “Fuck, I’m going to be late!” She turned to look at Jack who was already dressed for class as he leaned back against the kitchen counter with a coffee mug in hand. “Don’t worry, I’ll drive you.”

“No, but all of my shit is at my dorm, my project is sitting on my desk!” She quickly stood to her feet, the whole room felt like it was spinning.

“Well let’s go right now then, I’m sure I can come up with an excuse for the professor if we’re late.”

“Professor Anderson? Yeah right, the woman hates me!” Nancy started changing her clothes right there, it wasn’t like he hadn’t seen it before. Well, parts of it anyways, but she couldn’t care less in the moment.

Jack politely turned away, finishing his coffee and placing the empty mug in the sink. “I’ll go heat the car up, just come down when you’re done.”

Nancy threw a sweater over her head, pulling her curls out of the neckline and pulling it back into a pony tail. There wasn’t any time to worry about how presentable she looked now as she pulled on her shoes and threw her bag over her shoulder, sprinting out of the apartment as fast as she could.

Robin quickly sat up, nearly banging her head on the top bunk at the sound of the dorm room door slamming against the wall.

“Nancy?” She rubbed a palm into her eyes, trying to wipe away the sleep. “Is everything okay?”

“Late for class.” Nancy quickly said, barely looking over at her roommate as she moved through the room like a whirlwind to grab her project off of her desk. She turned to look at Robin, freezing. “Why are you sleeping in my bed?” All of the events from the night before ignited a fire in her belly so bright she almost forgot she needed to leave.

Robin ran a hand through sleep mussed hair, looking down at the stuffed pink bunny in her lap and quickly moving it off to the side. “Stacey’s in mine.” She pointed up at the top bunk above her with a shrug.

Nancy’s eyes flicked up to where the blonde was stirring awake, rolling her eyes. It didn’t add up, but she didn’t have time to ask anymore questions about her fuck buddy’s situationship. Instead she turned on her heel and ran out of the room as fast as she had entered it. Everything could wait until the end of classes that day when break officially started. Maybe then she could try and figure out how she was going to tell Robin she was taking the train back to Indiana with her.

“Was that Nancy?” Stacey’s groggy voice drifted out of the top bunk as Robin heard her roll over in the bed.

“Yeah.” Robin said, breathless.

“Are you thinking about telling her the truth?” Stacey asked a moment later just as Robin started to think the girl must’ve dozed back off.

“I have to.” Robin stared down at her hands in her lap. “I just don’t know how.”

“Just say ‘hey babe, I’m madly in love with you and forget about Stacey, she’s old news.”

Robin chuckled, “That certainly would be the easiest way to do it.”

“Just rip it off like a bandaid dude, if you like her it shouldn't be that hard to be honest with her.”

Robin thought back to her father and how he had lied to her mother for the better part of a year. She picked at the fading nail polish on her fingernails. “But what if I tell her how I feel and it scares her off?”

Robin could hear Stacey shifting in the bed above her, probably sitting up if she had to wager a guess. “After last night, I don’t think there’s much that could scare that girl off except you lying to her.”

Robin thought back to how quickly Nancy had stormed out of the dorm, about how the curly haired girl always seemed to be a step ahead of her. It was if she was daring Robin to say something she already believed to be true.

Robin bit her lip, “I’ll tell her before I leave on break, that way she doesn’t have to see me for a few days and can take off if she wants to.”

“Why are you expecting her to run away?” Stacey asked, leaning over the edge of the bed and down at where Robin sat with her legs now tucked into her chest.

“Because that’s the only way I’ve ever seen things pan out for two people who like each other.” Robin said with a shrug, the image of her parents and then of Vickie flashing before her eyes. “I don’t think I’d know what love was if it came banging on my door.”

“Clearly not.” Stacey said with a sigh as she climbed down from the top bunk and sat down next to her best friend. She placed a warm hand on Robin’s knee, “You have to let your past go babe, it’s the only way you’ll win the girl.”

“Maybe I don’t deserve her.” Robin whispered.

“Oh, absolutely not.” Stacey scoffed, “You don’t get to talk about my best friend like that, absolutely not!” She pulled Robin out of the bed, holding her steady by her shoulders. “Come on, you said you don’t have anything important happening in your classes today, right?”

Robin nodded her head.

“Then we’re playing hooky today, how does a trip to town sound?” Stacey asked with a bright smile. “We can grab a bite to eat, see a movie, go window shopping, whatever you want.”

“If I say yes will you stop squeezing me?” Robin asked.

“Nope, but I'll think about it.” Stacey chuckled, pulling Robin into a tight hug. “I love you Robin Buckley, even if you can’t see just how wonderful you are.”

“I love you too.” Robin grunted, pressing her face into the taller girl’s shoulder. Even if she did lose Nancy forever after all of this was over, she knew for sure that she had made a lifelong friend in the process.

“Now come on, let’s blow this popsicle stand!” Stacey cheered, nearly blowing out Robin’s eardrums being so close to her face.

“God, you’re annoying.” Robin groaned.

“And yet you love me anyways.” Stacey smirked.