Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Author’s Note: This story is based on the NBC television series The Facts of Life, which as far as I know, is the property of Embassy Television, Columbia Pictures Television, and Sony Pictures Television. No infringement is intended.

Chapter 1: A Very Deep Level of Trust

It was late March of 1983 when hundreds of preteen and teenage girls returned from their spring break to the Eastland School for Girls in Peekskill, NY. And for the school dietician, Mrs. Edna Garrett, and three of her four charges, Jo Polniaczek, Natalie Green, and Tootie Ramsey, it was business as usual as they unpacked and quickly got settled back into their everyday routine. But for the oldest of the four girls under Mrs. Garrett’s care, Blair Warner, life was anything and everything but routine.

Unbeknownst to everyone else at the school, over the course of the past ten days that Blair had been on vacation with her mother Monica in Paris, her entire world had changed. It had come crashing down around her in flames. When Blair said goodbye to Mrs. Garrett and her three closest friends and roommates before leaving Eastland to begin her spring break ten days ago, she’d been a typical young, happy, carefree teenage girl with her whole life and her whole future ahead of her. Blair was a very striking young woman with long, wavy blonde hair, chestnut eyes with green and gold flecks, a beautiful smile, a real passion for art, and an intelligent mind. Furthermore, she was the only child of David Warner, Jr., the multimillionaire businessman and owner of Warner Textile Mills, the heiress to the great Warner fortune. A true, blue American princess. It truly had seemed, just ten short days ago, that Blair had the whole world lying at her feet with everything going for her. But in the blink of an eye, everything changed.

Blair had flown to Paris with Monica that Friday afternoon after school was over, and that Saturday morning, they’d begun enjoying what would have been the first of many shopping sprees. Blair really hadn’t been feeling well over the past few days, and she’d felt terribly lightheaded when she left her mother’s Parisian mansion with her mother that morning. Not wanting to ruin one of the few chances she had to really spend time with her mother, though, Blair kept it to herself. But as they were shopping together two hours later, Blair’s light-headedness and the severe shortness of breath and pain in her chest that she’d been experiencing only worsened, and although she certainly tried her hardest to hold onto consciousness, she simply couldn’t.

The next thing Blair knew, she was lying in a hospital bed in a large French hospital, and over the next few days, she was poked and prodded and tested and examined over and over again by the best of the best European physicians that money could buy. And by the middle of the week, that Wednesday, all of the doctors Monica Warner had hired to care for Blair reached a consensus. It was not an easy diagnosis for Blair, Monica, or even the doctors to accept, especially considering how rare it was, but all of the doctors agreed that it was the correct one.

As soon as Monica called David and told him, he angrily refused to believe it, and he had Blair flown back to New York that very evening. Then, that Thursday and Friday, Blair was poked, prodded, examined, and tested by several more doctors her father had hired, most of them American, but two from other countries. But that Friday evening, they, too, had to inform the wealthy and powerful businessman that they agreed with the diagnosis of the doctors in France. They had to tell him that his only child, his smart, artistic, witty, kind, loving, beautiful eighteen-year-old daughter…was dying.

Blair decided then that she had completely had it with hospitals and wanted to go home, so she was discharged that Saturday afternoon and brought to her mother’s penthouse apartment in New York City. And that was when the real pain began.

Standing before her daughter with rivers of tears streaming down her face, Monica told her in an abundance of sobs that she just couldn’t do it; that she just couldn’t bear to stand by and watch her die before her eyes. She went on to tell her that she would have to hire her a nurse and let the nurse take care of her until the end, because she simply couldn’t bear to do it herself.

And it was then that Blair began to realize the brutal truth: her mother was abandoning her, leaving her to die alone. Both her mother and her father were abandoning her. Right at the very time in her life when she needed and deserved to have both of her parents by her side the most.

She hadn’t been too surprised when her father bailed on her, not even bothering to show up at the hospital to take her home. David Warner, Jr. had always loved his money, his business, and himself far, far more than he’d ever loved Blair, and deep down, she’d always known that. He’d missed countless ballet recitals, science fairs, and fine arts festivals over the years because he cared more about money and the business than he did about being there for Blair as a father. And having to live with that fact hurt Blair tremendously inside, to say the very least. And knowing that he probably had no intention of really being there for her and spending her final days with her…yeah, it hurt like hell, but it wasn’t very surprising. David had been abandoning Blair her entire life, and she was well used to it by now.

But now, knowing that even her own mother was abandoning her after finding out that she was dying, after she had faced up to it and been there for Monica back when she’d had that breast cancer scare…that was an unbelievable slap in the face to say the very least. There were no words for this level of selfishness, cruelty, and betrayal.

The Warners had been told that Blair had one year to live at best, but that it was far more likely that she would be gone within three to five months. And with that heartbreaking knowledge in mind, Blair decided that since her parents weren’t going to be there with her or for her through all of this, she wanted, more than anything else, to return to Eastland and spend her final months and weeks on this earth with the people who had truly been her family all along. Blair convinced Monica to speak to the school nurse at Eastland and inform her of her condition and ask her to keep an eye on her while she finished up her senior year and graduated. Monica also spoke with the returning headmaster of Eastland, Mr. Stephen Bradley, and informed him of the situation, and he agreed that Blair could continue attending Eastland as long as she felt strong enough to do so. Lastly, Monica asked him on Blair’s behalf to keep her illness a secret, especially from Mrs. Garrett and her roommates, for as long as possible, because Blair wanted very much so for her final months with her family to be as normal as possible. She didn’t want this important time she spent with them to be filled with sadness and grieving. And although Mr. Bradley didn’t like it, he understood her reasons, and he reluctantly agreed.

So on Monday, the twenty-eighth of March, Blair Warner returned to the Eastland School for Girls, along with the rest of the student body, including her three roommates and closest friends, Jo, Natalie, and Tootie, and their guardian, Mrs. Garrett. Everyone had the day off that day to give all the girls a chance to arrive, unpack, and get settled in again before classes resumed the next day. Everything was business as usual when Blair came into the school cafeteria at ten o’clock that Monday morning – shockingly only carrying one suitcase – and went to hers and the girls’ bedroom upstairs and unpacked. But after unpacking and coming back downstairs to the cafeteria, Mrs. Garrett informed her that Mr. Bradley wanted to see her in his office ASAP.

A few minutes later, Blair knocked on Mr. Bradley’s office door.

“Come in,” his voice called, and Blair turned the knob and walked inside. “Hello, Blair,” he said with a kind, yet sad smile. “Please, come over and sit down.”

Blair, now wearing a navy blue blouse with a long black skirt and matching black dress shoes, a simple silver chain around her neck, and diamond earrings, her hair and makeup done to perfection as always, came and sat down in the chair across the desk from Mr. Bradley, who was wearing a gray suit and tie.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it, Mr. Bradley?” said Blair, sounding very wise beyond her years.

“Yes, it has been,” he agreed. “It’s been well over two years since I was last here at Eastland.” Almost three years ago, Mr. Bradley left his position as the headmaster of Eastland for a job as headmaster at a boys’ school in California that paid considerably more money. But during his time there, he came to realize just how much he’d enjoyed his previous position at Eastland, and when his successor, Mr. Charles Parker, was suddenly in a terrible car crash the first day of their spring break and was left with no choice but to step down in order to focus on his recovery, Eastland’s board of trustees made Mr. Bradley a very handsome offer to return.

“Are you happy to be back?” Blair asked.

“Very happy.”

“So am I. I’ve really missed Eastland, especially the past couple of days. It’s so nice to be back. And it’s even nicer to finally get away from hospitals for a while.”

“I imagine it is. Blair, I don’t mean to get too personal. I understand if you don’t want to discuss it. But as both your headmaster and your friend, I feel it’s my responsibility to ask you if you’re really sure about this.”

“About spending my last few months here at Eastland and not at home?”

“Exactly.”

After a long and intense moment of silence, with Blair almost fighting off tears, she looked Mr. Bradley right in the eyes and told him, “Thank you, Mr. Bradley.”

“For what?”

“Through this whole thing, neither one of my so-called ‘parents’ ever once bothered to ask me that question. ‘Blair, what do you want? Where do you want to be during the final months of your life? What do you want to do? How do you want to handle this?’”

“I’m so sorry,” Mr. Bradley told her truthfully, as he, too, struggled to keep from crying. His heart absolutely broke for her now.

“If I could have my own way, I’d be spending this time with both of my parents. With both of them wanting to be by my side with all their hearts. But, I didn’t get to make that choice. They both decided to run away from this, regardless of how it makes me feel.”

“In a nutshell, both Mr. and Mrs. Warner have decided to abandon you right when you need them the most.”

“Yes,” Blair said in an emotional whisper, just barely managing to hold back her tears.

“Again, Blair, I am so, so sorry. I can’t even begin to imagine what this must be like for you.”

“I think the word devastating sums it up best.”

“I would say so.”

“So basically, I’m left with these two choices: either spend my final months in one of my parents’ homes, surrounded by maids and butlers and whatever nurses they hire to take care of me, people who are only there because they’re being paid to be there, or spend the time I have left here at Eastland, surrounded by my closest friends. By people who genuinely love me and care for me. If you were in my place, which option would you choose, Mr. Bradley?”

“I’d make the same choice you’re making. Let me be clear, Blair. I’m not at all trying to criticize you for your decision. I think what you’re choosing to do now makes perfect sense, and I’d do the same thing. I just wanted to make absolutely certain that this is what you want.”

Blair nodded and told him, “This is what I want, Mr. Bradley. Without a question. Without a doubt.”

“Then in that case, I want you to know that I’m behind you, Blair. One hundred percent.”

“Thank you.”

“However, I do believe it would be irresponsible of me not to point out that while I understand and agree with your decision to spend your final months here at Eastland with your Eastland family, I couldn’t disagree more strongly with your decision to keep this from Mrs. Garrett. I, for one, would feel much, much better if she knew about your condition so she could keep a closer eye on you and help you more, especially when it comes to managing your physical symptoms.”

“Mrs. Andrews, the school nurse, knows about my condition. Whenever I’m having a tough day physically, I can always go the infirmary to see her. It shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Blair, you have a very rare malignant tumor in your heart that is growing. In the weeks and months ahead, it’s going to cut off blood flow to and from your heart. I’ve had some very long conversations with your mother and your doctors, and I know that it is not only possible, but in fact highly likely, that in the upcoming weeks, you are going to suffer a heart attack. As a matter of fact, you could even suffer several heart attacks before…before the end finally comes. We’re not talking about you taking a simple walk to the infirmary for a runny nose or a sore throat or a skinned knee. We’re talking about your heart. Out of all the adults of the Eastland faculty and staff, Mrs. Garrett is undoubtedly the one you’re closest to, and you are going to need her help and her support now more than ever. Not just as a dietician or as a surrogate mother, but as a registered nurse. You are going to need her medical expertise to help you get through this.”

“Mr. Bradley, there are reasons why I don’t want Mrs. Garrett to know about this. Very personal reasons.”

“May I ask what those reasons are?” Mr. Bradley inquired.

After a pause, Blair asked, “Do you remember Parents’ Night three years ago? How my mother made secret plans to go out on a date with a married man?”

“Yes, I do remember that.”

“I was heartbroken and infuriated by what my mother was trying to do, and rightfully so. My mother was the one who was in the wrong for trying to date a married man, and she was doubly in the wrong for trying to date a married man here at my school, in front of all my friends and classmates, making me a complete laughingstock in front of everyone. But did Mrs. Garrett ever once give my mother the lecture she should have given to her, to be a better mother, a better role model for me than that of a selfish homewrecker? No. Did she ever once even try to call her out for hitting me when I stood up to her and called her out on it? No. My mother comes to Eastland, tries to start up an affair with a married man, breaks my heart, and when I call her out on her terrible behavior, she even hits me, and Mrs. Garrett doesn’t say a word about it. Instead, on top of being hit by my own mother just for speaking the truth about how she made me feel, I get the lecture from Mrs. Garrett, and I’m the one who has to apologize, while my dear mother doesn’t have to say a word about her selfish and disgusting behavior.

“That is always the story with her, Mr. Bradley. Always. Whenever mine or any of the girls’ parents do anything that really hurts us, Mrs. Garrett always sides with them over us, even if our parents are the ones who are in the wrong. She and other adults always get to call us out on it whenever we do something wrong, but God forbid we ever get to call out any high and mighty adult or parent when they do something wrong that hurts us. I don’t believe Mrs. Garrett is being like this on purpose. I don’t even think she realizes that she’s doing it. But it’s just a cold, hard fact that, as warm and wise as Mrs. Garrett is, she’s also very deeply prejudiced against children and young people. I guess that’s because she’s a parent herself and she’s playing for her team of fellow parents, regardless if they’re right or wrong. I guess every parent does that to a certain degree.

“But anyway, my point is, as much as I love, admire, and respect Mrs. Garrett, I don’t want her knowing about any of this because, when it comes to the whole issue of parents, I know from experience that I simply cannot trust her. When my so-called ‘parents’ decided to abandon me after they found out that I’m dying, they hurt me beyond what any words in the English language can express. And now, not only am I grieving the life and the future that I’ve lost; I’m grieving the loss of my relationships with my parents as well. I am in so much pain inside because of them, and I am so furious at both of them for deciding to put me through this on top of everything else I’m going through. And I know that if I dare to express that pain and anger to Mrs. Garrett, there’s a pretty good chance that she’ll feel sorry for my parents and try to talk them into changing their minds and try to talk me into letting them back into my life after she’s gotten them to change their minds. And I don’t want that, Mr. Bradley. I don’t want anybody with me at my deathbed who had to be talked into being there by someone else, who never genuinely, one hundred percent wanted to be there with me in the first place. And I don’t want to be blamed and shamed and guilt-tripped into accepting my biggest betrayers back into my life by an adult who clearly has no clue what it’s like being abandoned by your very own parents and has no empathy whatsoever in that department.

“Furthermore, as much as I love her, it’s just a fact that Edna Garrett has absolutely zero understanding of personal boundaries and privacy. She arrogantly believes that every private detail of our lives, even our personal relationships with our parents and others, are her business. I understand that she only acts that way because she cares about us and she wants to do what she thinks is best for us, but even so, in situations like these, her lack of respect for privacy and boundaries only makes things harder, not easier. That’s why I don’t want Mrs. Garrett to know. Because when it comes to things like this, she simply doesn’t get it, and I’m not sure she ever will. And I know that at the end of the day, her prejudice against young people and her lack of respect for personal boundaries is only going to make my pain, my great pain, so much worse than it already is, even if she doesn’t mean to. Even if she means well.”

Mr. Bradley then blew out a long sigh, and he looked at Blair and told her, “You’ve obviously done a lot of very deep thinking since your diagnosis.”

“You’re right, Mr. Bradley. I have,” Blair agreed. “The past several days have changed me so much. Just two short weeks ago, the only things that were on my mind were my shopping list for when I went shopping with my mother in Paris over spring break, going to the spring dance at the country club with that new hunk from Bates, Joel Tomlinson, and all the college applications I still had to fill out and send off. Now, I have to figure out not only how to face death, but how to face it without the two people I should have been able to trust the most. That has a way of deeply changing a person very quickly.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Mr. Bradley said soberly. “Anyway, I…I really don’t like the thought of you keeping this from Mrs. Garrett. I don’t like it, Blair, but I understand your reasons. I understand where you’re coming from and why you don’t want her to know. Edna is a very intelligent, kindhearted, loving and giving person, and like you, I also have a lot of respect for her. However, I also recall just how self-righteous she can be at times, not to mention how very little respect she has for other people’s privacy and boundaries. She really does seem to believe that every minute detail of other people’s lives is her business when it clearly isn’t. And, unfortunately, I think you’re right. I think that if Edna did know about this, she most likely wouldn’t respect your wishes, and she probably would stick her nose into your private family business where it didn’t belong and inadvertently end up making things even more painful for you than they already are. So even though I don’t like it, I’ll keep this a secret from Edna if you want me to. I won’t tell her.”

“Thank you, Mr. Bradley. I appreciate that.”

“After everything you’ve been going through recently, it’s the least I can do. The very least. However, I do want to inform all your teachers so that they can keep an eye on you during the day.”

“I understand. But I would really appreciate it if you would swear them all to secrecy. I don’t just want to keep this from Mrs. Garrett. I want to keep this from the girls as well. I don’t want my last weeks with them to be all sad and depressing. I want to enjoy as normal of a life with them as I can, Mr. Bradley. For as long as I can.”

After a pause, Mr. Bradley said, “Again, Blair, I don’t like it. But even though I don’t like it, I get it. I understand. If you want to keep this between you, me, Nurse Andrews, and your teachers, then that’s exactly where it’ll stay.”

“Thank you.”

“May I ask you a couple of personal questions, Blair?” Mr. Bradley asked, and Blair responded with a nod. “When…when the time comes, I know your mother plans on hiring you a nurse to care for you. Is that correct?”

“Yes. We talked about that. I’ve already decided that I don’t want to die in some cold, sterile hospital room. I’ve been all over the world all my life. And out of all the places I’ve been to on this planet, none of them have ever been home to me like Peekskill has. So, if it gets to where I’m too sick to complete the school year here at Eastland, I’m going to find me a nice, cozy little house here in Peekskill, probably close to Eastland, and the nurse that Mother hires to care for me will live there with me until the end. I hope that I’ll be able to complete the school year and walk across the stage and get my diploma first, before I have to move into the house with the nurse and wait for the inevitable, but I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

“Right,” Mr. Bradley said in an emotional whisper.

“You said you wanted to ask me a couple of personal questions. What’s the second question?”

Now visibly fighting off tears, Mr. Bradley kept his gaze locked with Blair’s, and he told her, “You said you didn’t want anybody at your deathbed who had to be talked into being there, who didn’t genuinely want to be there one hundred percent. Well, I genuinely want to be there one hundred percent, and I don’t need anybody to talk me into it. May I be there, Blair?”

After a long silence, Blair asked, “Are you sure, Mr. Bradley? Are you absolutely sure that’s what you want?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life, Blair,” he told her truthfully.

“I think it really would help to have a friend with me when it happens. Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Mr. Bradley shook his head and said, “No, Blair. I thank you. Telling me all the things you’ve told me today…allowing me to be with you in the end…by doing both of those things, you have placed a very deep level of trust in me. And being the recipient of such great trust is an honor. An extraordinary honor. Thank you.”

Blair nodded and whispered, “You’re welcome.” Then, after wiping a stray tear from her right eye, she told him, “I better go before I start crying again. I have cried so much these past few days, and I’m sick to death of crying all the time.”

“I understand,” said Mr. Bradley as they both rose from their seats. “But listen, Blair. Before you go, I want you to promise me something.”

“What’s that?”

“I want you to promise me that if you ever need anything, no matter how big or small, no matter the time of day or night, you’ll come to me.”

“I promise.”

“Thank you.”

Blair nodded, and then she turned around left. And after she closed the door behind her, Mr. Bradley sank down into his desk chair and wept.

Chapter Text

A/N: See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.

Chapter 2: Not Alone

Later on that afternoon, once Blair and the girls had helped Mrs. Garrett clean up the kitchen and the cafeteria after lunch, Mrs. Garrett took Natalie and Tootie with her into town to help her run a few errands, leaving Blair behind with Jo. A few minutes after they’d left, Blair went upstairs with Jo to the girls’ bedroom.

After shutting the door behind her, Blair turned to face Jo, and she told her, “Jo, there’s something that I need to tell you, and it’s something that’s extremely personal. I need you to give me your word that you won’t tell another soul.”

“You got it,” the beautiful eighteen-year-old, green-eyed brunette assured her. Jo, a scholarship student from the Bronx, was wearing the typical camouflage clothing she often liked to wear, and her brunette hair was pulled back into a ponytail as always. “What’s up?”

“You won’t say anything to anyone? You promise?”

“Yeah, I promise. You know me, Warner. I don’t squeal.”

“I know you don’t.”

“So what is it? What’s goin’ on?”

“When spring break began and I was with my mother on a shopping spree in Paris, I wasn’t feeling well. I was very weak, dizzy, short of breath, and that Saturday morning that we were together, I blacked out. I was rushed to the hospital, and over the next few days, the doctors ran all their tests, and on Wednesday, they officially had a diagnosis. My father refused to accept their diagnosis, and he had me flown back here to New York, and I stayed in a hospital in Manhattan Thursday through Saturday while more doctors ran more tests.”

“So what’s wrong with ya?” Jo asked, a tiny bit of concern coming through in her voice.

“If you want the scientific or medical term for it, it’s called cardiac angiosarcoma.”

After folding her arms across her chest, Jo told Blair, “I don’t know what that means, but whatever it is, I don’t like the sound of it.”

“In plain English, it’s a very rare form of cancer. A malignant tumor that has been growing in my heart for a good while now, that we didn’t know about until a few days ago.”

“A malignant tumor in your heart?” Jo said in the smallest voice.

“Yes,” Blair confirmed.

“So, uh…what’s the next step? Where do you go from here? Do you need chemotherapy? Radiation? Surgery?”

“Due to the size and location of the tumor in my heart, the doctors say that operating to remove it is now impossible. If a surgeon were to attempt it at this point, he would most likely kill me on the operating table.”

“What if chemotherapy or radiation, or maybe a combination of the two, made the tumor smaller? Couldn’t they operate to remove it then?”

“Angiosarcomas are very rare, and they’re an extremely aggressive form of cancer. They’re often highly resistant to chemotherapy and radiation,” Blair explained. “And even if, by some miracle, I went on chemo and radiation and the tumor shrank, it would still be impossible for the doctors to operate and remove it without killing me due to its location in my heart.”

“Wait-wait-wait-wait. Wait a minute. Hold on. So you’re tellin’ me that there’s nothin’ they can do? That you’ve got this malignant tumor growing in your heart that’s killing you…and you just have to accept that? Just accept it that your life is over? Just accept it that this thing is gonna kill you? Just like that? Is that what you’re sayin’ to me?”

“Yes, Jo,” Blair whispered. “That’s what I’m saying. The doctors are saying that I have a year at best. Most likely, I’ll be gone anywhere from three to five months.”

After a long silence, Jo locked her green eyes with Blair’s chestnut eyes, put her right hand on Blair’s left arm, and said, “Warner, for the love of heaven and earth, please, please tell me that all of this is your crazy, sick, twisted idea of a joke.”

“I wish I could tell you that, Jo. Believe me, I so wish I could tell you that. But I can’t. Because this isn’t a joke. This is for real. This is as real as it gets.”

With their eyes still locked, Jo asked, “This is for real? You’re dying?”

“Yes,” Blair gasped. “This is for real, Jo. This is not some stupid prank or joke. I’m dying. And neither one of my parents are going to be there when it happens. They’ve already made that clear. I guess it’s too much for them. Monica is going to hire a nurse to care for me when I’m no longer able to take care of myself, but neither she nor David are going to be with me as I walk down this road. This is a path I’m going to have to walk alone. And since they’re not going to be there, I’ve decided that the one place I want to be most in the world in my final days is…right here. Right here at Eastland, with you, Natalie, Tootie, and Mrs. Garrett. The one place that truly feels like home to me.

“I’ve also decided that I want to keep my condition a secret from Mrs. Garrett and the girls for as long as I can. Mr. Bradley knows, and so does the school nurse, and Mr. Bradley’s going to be telling all my teachers, but besides them, no one else on this campus knows. No one except you. And the reason why I’ve decided to tell you, Jo, is because we both know that deep down underneath all our sarcasm and our insults and our bickering and our fights, when push comes to shove, when it comes right down to it, you and I really do care about each other and respect each other. I know how badly it hurt you when Miss Gallagher died five weeks ago, and I care about you too much and I respect you too much to let you get blindsided by what’s happening to me. I didn’t want you to suddenly hear about it from someone else, without seeing it coming, and get hurt again. I wanted you to hear the truth so that you could be prepared, and I wanted you to hear it from me, not anyone else. After the past three years you and I have spent here together, I believe I owe you that.”

With tears now openly streaming down her cheeks, Jo shook her head and told Blair, “This is not about me, Blair. This is not about what you owe to me. You don’t owe me anything. This is about what you owe to yourself right now. This is about what you want. What you need.”

“I think what I want and what I need more than anything right now is just to be here at Eastland with you guys. Enjoying a normal, happy life, here, with the people I love the most, my real family, for as long as I can.”

Jo wiped the tears from her eyes then and asked, “That’s why you don’t want Mrs. G. and the girls to know, isn’t it? You don’t want your time here with us to be all sad and emotional.”

“That’s part of it, yes.”

“What’s the other part?”

“Mrs. Garrett and her lack of respect for our privacy and her bias against young people. You know how she is whenever there’s a problem between any of us and our parents, Jo. No matter what, our parents are always right, and we’re always wrong. I overheard what she said to your father when he came here to Eastland for the first time. He was the one who abandoned you and betrayed you and broke your heart, yet when he shows up here at the school, Mrs. Garrett has the nerve and the gall to say to him, ‘I know you’ve been through a lot and Jo’s giving you a rough time.’ I overheard her saying that to your father. Your father abandons you and your mother, yet he’s the one who’s been through a lot and you’re the one giving him a rough time because you’re understandably afraid to trust him again after what he did to you? I know that on that night, I was almost as bad as Mrs. Garrett, trying to guilt-trip you into accepting your father back into your life before you felt ready to, and I realized I was wrong and I apologized to you. Trouble is, Mrs. Garrett has never realized just how wrong she is when she constantly sides with our parents over us and gives us a hard time while never calling them out whenever they do things that really hurt us. She simply cannot see beyond all that prejudice she’s carrying around in her heart and in her mind against young people. And because of that prejudice, she simply cannot stop believing that in every single situation, no matter how badly a parent may wound a kid on the inside, parents are always right and kids are always wrong.

“So think, Jo. If Mrs. Garrett was willing to disrespect your boundaries and butt into your personal relationship with your father and try to manipulate the two of you into having a relationship with each other again, regardless of your feelings, regardless of the fact that you didn’t want to take the risk of trusting him again after the way he betrayed you, how do you think she would treat me in this situation if she knew? She felt sympathy and compassion for your father, not you, when he was the one who betrayed you. So how do you think she would treat me if she knew about what’s happening to me? Who do you think she would feel sympathy and compassion for? Me? Or my very cruel, selfish, heartless DNA donors – not parents – who have chosen to abandon me now that I’m dying? Since my DNA donors have already decided that they don’t want to be with me when it happens, I’ve decided that I don’t want them with me either. I don’t want anybody with me at my deathbed who had to be manipulated into being there, who didn’t completely, wholeheartedly want to be there with me in the first place. Do you honestly believe Edna Garrett would respect that? Of course not. The second she found out, she would try her hardest to manipulate them into changing their minds and being with me at my deathbed, and after she talked them into changing their minds, she would try her hardest to manipulate me into forgiving them and letting them be with me, despite all the pain they’ve caused me all my life by never being there. Despite all their cruelty and betrayal.

“Don’t get me wrong, Jo. I love Mrs. Garrett very much, and I have great respect for her. And I’m very grateful to her for all she’s done. She’s done so much for the four of us over the years. She saved us from being expelled. She agreed to accept full responsibility for us and become our guardian and basically our surrogate mother and surrogate father while we’re here at the school, away from our families. She gave up any privacy and peace and quiet she might have previously enjoyed when she agreed to let us live in the room across from hers so she could keep her eye on us while we work for her in the kitchen and the cafeteria. She helped all of us become a family. She is a very sweet, generous, patient, loving, wonderful lady. There are a lot of things in my life and in my heart that I would gladly trust her with, without thinking twice about it.

“But when it comes to things like this, especially when it comes to our personal relationships with our parents, she really is very arrogant and self-righteous. Not intentionally, of course. I know she never means to be. I know she’s not doing it on purpose. But still, it’s just a cold, hard fact that when it comes to things like this, she truly believes that the way she sees things is the only valid perspective. And she believes that she has this right to butt into our lives and our relationships and try to get us to do what she thinks ought to be done because in her mind, her perspective is the only one that can possibly be right. And that’s arrogance, Jo.”

After taking a long moment to really digest everything Blair had just said, Jo told her, “You’re right, Blair. That is arrogance.”

“So that’s why I don’t want anyone else to know besides you, Mr. Bradley, Nurse Andrews, and my teachers. Because I really don’t want Mrs. Garrett to find out. Because if she did find out, you know as well as I do that she would not respect my wishes and she would stand in the way of me living out my final days the way I want to live them out. With people who genuinely love me and genuinely want to be with me.”

Jo nodded and said, “I understand, Blair. Don’t worry. I won’t say a word to anyone.”

“I know you won’t. And there’s something else I want you to know.”

“What’s that?”

“I want you to know that if it’s too difficult for you to be around me now…I understand.”

“What do you mean?”

“When you first found out that Miss Gallagher was dying, you avoided her as much as you could because it was too painful for you to be around her. I think that of the four of us, your life has been the hardest and most painful up to this point. I know you’ve already lost several people you really love, including Miss Gallagher. I know you’re carrying around silent pain and silent burdens most people can’t even begin to understand. Including the silent burden of feeling like one of your own parents…doesn’t care about you very much. While I can’t relate to all the silent burdens that you carry, I know exactly what that one particular burden feels like, and I know that it is pure, utter, emotional hell. So I just want you to know that I will not do anything to make all your silent pain even worse. I will not do anything to make those silent burdens you carry in your heart even heavier than they already are. I don’t expect you to be there for me as I’m going through this, Jo. I understand why you can’t be. If you need to distance yourself from me now, I want you to know that it’s okay. I understand. I get it, Jo. I really do.”

For the longest time, Jo just stood there and cried silently. But finally, she said, “I always used to believe that the biggest thing about you was your ego. But now, I know it beyond a doubt that the biggest thing about you is not your ego; it’s your heart. Of course, I always knew that deep down underneath your spoiled princess act, you really did love and care about other people. But until now…until this…I had no idea just how incredible you could really be. You are…an extraordinary person, Blair. You really are. And I love and respect you too much to let you walk down this road alone. Those idiots you’ve got for DNA donors may have left you, but I’m not goin’ anywhere. You’re not gettin’ rid of me. You’re not alone in this thing, Blair. I’m gonna be right here, right by your side through this whole thing. Right to the end.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I know. I want to do that, Blair. Nobody’s twistin’ my arm.”

Now, with silent tears streaming down Blair’s cheeks, she whispered, “Thank you, Jo. Thank you so much.”

Then, they just clung to one another and cried together for the longest time.

Chapter Text

A/N: See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.

Chapter 3: The Only Perspective That Truly Matters

On the following Wednesday afternoon, after classes were over, Tootie came bouncing into the cafeteria in her school uniform, as happy-go-lucky as always. Meanwhile, Mrs. Garrett was upstairs in her room doing some paperwork, and Blair and Jo, who were also in their Eastland uniforms, were sitting together quietly at one of the tables.

“Hey, Blair,” said Tootie as she came up to their table. “I’m glad I caught you. Listen. I’ve got a killer test in my French class on Friday. If you don’t help me study for it, I’m sunk!”

Blair smiled and told her, “Don’t worry, Tootie. I’ll help you study for it. You’ll be just fine.”

“Thanks, Blair. You’re really saving my life,” said Tootie as she pulled up a chair and sat down at the table with them.

“Don’t mention it,” Blair said.

In that moment, Natalie, who was wearing her blue Eastland sweater over the blouse and vest of her uniform, came rushing into the cafeteria.

“You guys, you won’t believe what I just heard,” she told them as she, too, pulled up a seat at the table.

“What’d ya hear, Nat?” asked Jo.

“I was just talking to Brenda, and what she overheard is just plain insane, in the worst possible way.”

“How come you were talking to Brenda?” asked Blair. “You can’t stand her.”

“I know, I know. Normally, I’d rather eat dirt than talk to Brenda. But she overheard something, and this is not your typical piece of gossip, you guys. What Brenda overheard is big. Really big. Huge, even. And if it’s true, it’s absolutely terrible.”

“What is it, Natalie?” Tootie asked.

“Whatever it is, it can’t be all that bad,” said Blair.

“If Brenda overheard the conversation between the school nurse and Mrs. Stone correctly, then there’s a student here at Eastland who has a terminal illness,” Natalie told them.

“Get outta here, Natalie. That’s crazy. Don’t be ridiculous,” Jo chided.

“An Eastland student with a terminal illness? Come on! That’s absurd,” Blair agreed with Jo.

“Guys, I’m serious,” Natalie insisted. “According to Brenda, there’s a student right here at Eastland who’s dying.”

“If there really were an Eastland student with a terminal illness, she wouldn’t be spending her final days here at school,” said Blair as Mrs. Garrett came into the cafeteria, wearing a long-sleeved pink blouse and black skirt and matching black dress shoes, with her makeup done to perfection and her red hair up in its usual bun. “She’d be at home with her family now. Or probably in a hospital.”

“Actually, girls, I’ve spoken with Mr. Bradley about this, and it’s true. There is a girl here at Eastland who is ill. Gravely ill,” Mrs. Garrett informed them.

“So gravely ill that she’s dying?” Natalie inquired.

“Yes,” Mrs. Garrett said soberly, as both Natalie’s and Tootie’s faces became utterly heartbroken. “As it turns out, neither of her parents are going to be there for her as she’s going through this. They say that it’s simply too much for them to face. So this girl has decided that she wants to spend her final days here at Eastland, surrounded by her friends. By the people who love her and care for her.”

“That’s awful,” Tootie gasped.

“I can’t imagine it,” Natalie whispered.

“Neither can I,” said Tootie.

“What happens when…when she gets very close to the end and she’s too weak to go to her classes and she needs around-the-clock care?” asked Natalie.

“Won’t she go into the hospital then?” Tootie inquired.

Mrs. Garrett shook her head and replied, “According to Mr. Bradley, she hopes she’ll be able to complete this semester and graduate from Eastland before…before the end. However, if it does get to the point where she’s too weak to continue attending her classes, Mr. Bradley tells me that she intends to find herself a small house here in Peekskill, where she’ll live with the nurse her mother is going to hire to care for her during her final days. And even if she does make it to graduation, she still plans to do that anyway – get her own house in Peekskill and move into it with a nurse – when she gets close to the end. She’s made it quite clear that she doesn’t want her final days to be in a hospital.”

“You said she wants to complete the semester and graduate from Eastland. So she’s a senior?” Natalie deduced.

“Yes,” Mrs. Garrett confirmed. “She’s a senior.”

“I can’t imagine it,” Tootie gasped. “I can’t imagine having a terminal illness and knowing that your last moments on this earth are going to be spent with some nurse your mother hired. I can’t imagine finding out you’re dying and your own parents choosing not to be with you.”

“I know, Tootie,” Mrs. Garrett said in an emotional whisper. “I can’t imagine it either. In all my years of living, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anything so heartless and cruel.”

“I wish she would tell us and let us help her,” Tootie said with tears in her eyes.

“So do I, Tootie,” said Mrs. Garrett. “But she has made it crystal clear that she does not want people to know. She doesn’t want the last days she has here with her Eastland family to be filled with pain and sadness. She wants them to be as happy and carefree and normal as possible, for as long as possible. Mr. Bradley knows, along with the school nurse and all her teachers, but no one other than they know who it is. And that’s the way she wants it.”

“You mean, not even you know who it is, Mrs. Garrett?” Tootie inquired.

Mrs. Garrett shook her head and replied, “No, Tootie. I don’t know who it is. And I don’t want to know who it is. Not if she doesn’t want me to know.”

“But don’t you wish that you knew so that you could be there for her now?” Tootie asked.

“Of course I do, Tootie,” Mrs. Garrett replied. “But as a registered nurse, I’ve cared for dying patients before. And when someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness, they already have so many things taken away from them and forced upon them that they didn’t want or choose. And I’ve learned from experience that one of the most important things you can do to help someone who is dying is to respect their wishes and their choices on how they want to live out the rest of the time that they have left. It’s terribly important to let them make the few choices about their life that they’re still able to make, after having so many choices taken away from them. To be perfectly honest, if this girl had any other problem besides terminal illness, and she was trying to keep it to herself, I probably would butt in and try to find out what was going on so that I could help her. But not now. Not this time. If this girl doesn’t want me or any of you to know that she’s ill, I believe the best thing we can do for her right now is to respect her wishes. I think it’s best to step back and just leave everything to her. I think we need to let her be the one to decide who she wants to tell, and when. I think we all need to follow her lead on this.”

“I agree, Mrs. Garrett,” said Blair.

“So do I,” Jo concurred.

“How could her parents do this to her, Mrs. Garrett?” Natalie asked, her eyes now filled with tears as well. “How could any parent be so cruel and so heartless to their own child?”

“I don’t know, Natalie,” Mrs. Garrett whispered, visibly fighting off tears herself. “As a mother myself, I’ve asked myself that question over and over again ever since I found out what’s happening to this poor girl. As a parent, I can’t imagine doing such a thing to my own child.”

“I just so wish that there was something I could do,” Tootie said through her tears. “I so wish I could tell her how sorry I am that this is happening to her and that she doesn’t deserve to be treated this way and that she deserves better parents.”

After a few long moments of silence, while rubbing Tootie’s back, Blair leaned in closer to Tootie and said, “Don’t worry, Tootie. Don’t let any of this get you down. It’s alright.”

“How can you say that, Blair?” Tootie asked with borderline anger in her voice.

“Tootie, think about it. This girl decided to spend her final months here at Eastland because she knows that here, she’s surrounded by the people who truly love her and care about her. I know she’s got to be devastated by what her so-called ‘parents’ are doing to her, but at the same time, she knows how much her friends love her. She knows how much her friends care. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t be spending her final days here. And the very reason why she’s chosen to keep all this a secret in the first place is because she doesn’t want this important time she spends with the people she loves to be filled with grief and sadness. She wants the people she loves to be happy. She wants to enjoy her time with them, and she wants them to enjoy their time with her. And I believe that if she were sitting here at this table with us right now, the last thing she would want, Tootie, is to see you and Natalie crying like this. I think that the best thing you guys can do for her right now is to wipe all those tears from your eyes and put this whole thing out of your minds and go right back to being your chipper, carefree selves.”

“Blair has a point,” Jo agreed.

Tootie shook her head then and told them, “I can’t put this out of my mind and go back to being chipper and carefree, Blair. I just can’t!”

In that moment, Tootie got up and ran upstairs to the girls’ room to have a good cry.

Blair then started to rise from her seat, but Mrs. Garrett, who was standing behind her, put her left hand on Blair’s right shoulder, stopping her.

“Let her go, Blair,” Mrs. Garrett told her gently. “Let her be. I think she needs to be alone right now.”

Blair nodded, and then Mrs. Garrett went around and sat down in the chair Tootie had been sitting in, and the four of them just sat there together in silence, completely lost in their own thoughts.

Later on that night, after Mrs. Garrett, Natalie, and Tootie had already gone to bed, Blair and Jo were sitting on the loveseat together in the lounge, Jo in her usual striped pajamas, and Blair in a pair of light blue silk pajamas.

“I know I can always depend on you, Jo, to give me your honest opinion,” Blair told her.

“We both know that’s true,” Jo responded with a knowing smile. “So what do you want my opinion about?”

“Mrs. Garrett. This past week that we’ve been back at Eastland, I thought I was right to keep my illness a secret from her. But after hearing everything she said today, how respectful she was of my decision to not tell people, I’m beginning to wonder if maybe I haven’t judged her too harshly. Maybe, if I did tell her what’s going on, she actually wouldn’t try to talk David and Monica into being there when I die and try to guilt-trip me into letting them back into my life. Maybe she actually would choose to butt out and let me make my own choices regarding them. Have I been unfair to Mrs. Garrett, Jo? Have I judged her too harshly?”

After a pause, Jo shook her head and replied, “You haven’t been unfair to Mrs. G., Blair, and you haven’t judged her too harshly. The reason why Mrs. Garrett is able to be respectful of your decision to keep all this a secret right now is precisely because she doesn’t know that it’s you. Right now, in her mind, this terminally ill girl is simply an anonymous Eastland student, not a close friend she’s really come to love over the past four years of her life. Right now, she’s able to look at this from the logical, objective, professional perspective of a registered nurse. Not the perspective of someone who’s basically been your mother for the past four years. You know it as well as I do, Blair, that the minute Mrs. Garrett were to find out that one of the girls who’s been a surrogate daughter to her for the past four years is dying, whatever ‘respect’ she might’ve had for your personal decisions would go flying right out the window. You know as much as I do that the minute she knew, she would be talking to your DNA donors, trying just as hard as she could to get them to change their minds about being with you when it happens. And if she managed to do that, then she’d be on your case and she wouldn’t stop until she’d successfully guilt-tripped you into letting them back into your life again. And she wouldn’t even think to consider the fact that having someone present at your deathbed, who had to be talked into being there and never really wanted to be there in the first place, would be an intolerable insult to you. The ultimate slap in your face in the last moments of your life on this earth. She would mean well. She certainly wouldn’t be trying to disrespect you on purpose. In her mind, she would believe that you having your DNA donors by your side – even if they had to be manipulated into being there – is in your ultimate best interests. Regardless if you feel that way or not. She would be convinced that having them with you would be what you need the most, because that’s how she would feel if she were dying. If Mrs. G. were the one who’s dying, she would want her parents by her side, regardless of what they may have done to offend her, because having loving parents who actually do their jobs as parents is all she knows. She can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like to be abandoned and betrayed and emotionally abused by her own parents like you and I have been by ours. And as you’ve said before, it’s in situations like this when Mrs. Garrett arrogantly and blindly believes that her perspective is the only one that’s valid. The only one that truly matters. But it’s not the only one that truly matters, Blair. In this situation, your perspective is the one that truly matters. The only one that truly matters. Not mine. Not your DNA donors’. Not Mrs. Garrett’s. Not anybody else’s.”

“Thank you, Jo,” said Blair, and then she reached out and gave Jo a big, long hug.

“Of course,” Jo told her, and then the embrace ended.

“I know that I can always count on you to tell me the cold, hard truth, even when I don’t want to hear it. So hearing you say all that really puts my mind at ease. Thank you.”

“It’s the truth, Blair. It really is. You don’t have to worry. You’re not being unfair to Mrs. Garrett. You’re not being unfair to anybody. You’re doing the right thing. You’re doing what’s best for you. And I’m with you. I’m with you all the way.”

“Thank you,” Blair said with a smile, and then she put her hand on top of Jo’s and gave it an affectionate squeeze.

Then, seeing the pure exhaustion in Blair’s chestnut eyes, Jo said, “Why don’t we call it a night, huh?”

Blair nodded and told her, “I think that’s a good idea. I could really use some sleep.”

And with that, the two girls got up and walked upstairs to their bedroom and went to bed.

Chapter Text

A/N: See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.

Chapter 4: Sunsets

On a Thursday evening three weeks later, Mrs. Garrett was sitting alone on the loveseat in the lounge with a good friend of hers, Professor Henry Clayton, the visiting British professor who taught English lit over at Bates Academy, Eastland’s brother school. Mrs. Garrett was wearing a dark blue blouse and a black skirt, with the perfect touch of makeup and her hair up in its usual bun, and Professor Clayton was wearing a light blue dress shirt and black pants.

“You know, Edna, I heard about the anonymous Eastland student who’s ill,” he told her. “Is it actually true that this young lady is dying and that her parents are completely turning her over to the care of a nurse in her final days? That they have no plans to be with her when she–?”

Mrs. Garrett nodded sadly and replied, “Yes, Henry, it’s true.”

“How heartbreaking. Do you know who it is?” Professor Clayton inquired.

“No, I don’t,” Mrs. Garrett replied as Blair and Jo came walking into the cafeteria, both of them still in their school uniforms. “And to be perfectly honest, I think I’m glad that I don’t know who it is. Because if I did, I would probably track her parents down and literally tear them apart with my bare hands!”

“I know I’d feel the same way. And if you did rip her parents to shreds with your bare hands, they’d put you in jail. And you wouldn’t be able to do anything to help this girl from a jail cell.”

“That’s true. And I want to help her so much. I want to help her more than anything in this world. But I know that if I did know who this girl is, there’s no way I’d be able to continue doing my job and looking after my girls for the rest of the school year. I would just have to spend every possible second I could with her, holding her, pouring as much love into her as I could.”

“I’m not usually very emotional or sentimental or mushy, but in this case, I understand.”

“Yeah,” Mrs. Garrett agreed with a nod, as Professor Clayton began to notice that she was fighting off tears.

He then wrapped his arm around her shoulders and said, “I’m sorry, Edna. I’m truly sorry that you’re losing a student. Over the course of all my many years of teaching, I’ve lost three students. I know it’s not easy.”

“It certainly isn’t,” Mrs. Garrett concurred. “I never chose to become a mother, a registered nurse, or a school dietician in charge of planning and feeding healthy meals to hundreds of students three times a day because it’s easy. And I never chose to accept full responsibility for four teenage girls for nine, ten months out of the year, because it’s easy. My parents always taught me that the most worthwhile things in life aren’t easy. They always taught me to be strong. To not be someone who falters and quits just because there’s a bump or two in the road. And although the choices I’ve made to be a mother, a nurse, a school nutritionist, and a guardian to four teenage girls, have always come with their fair share of problems and difficulties, at the end of the day, it’s always been worth it. More than worth it. But this? This is unlike anything I’ve ever encountered before in my life. Never in my life have I heard of a parent being so ruthless as to abandon their own child, their own flesh and blood, their own baby, when she’s diagnosed with a terminal illness. Every second that I think about it, it just tears me apart completely.

“I remember last summer when the girls and I went to Paris. I remember how happy I was, how relieved I was, to be getting away from it all, the school, the pressures of my job, the enormous responsibilities of caring for four teenagers, to get to finally have some time alone. And that’s the way I feel right now. Like last year, I can’t wait for summer vacation to start so that I can get away from here. Away from cooking three meals a day for hundreds of girls. Away from cleaning up after them three times a day. Away from planning faculty dinners. Away from fights and spats and hormones and various types of teenage crises and drama. Away from evil, heartless, worthless parents who abandon their child when she needs them the most. Don’t get me wrong. I love my job here at Eastland, and I love my girls. I love them very much. My life just wouldn’t be the same without them. But given everything that’s happening with this student, not to mention all the responsibility and stress I already face every day with my job, plus helping to raise four teenagers on top of that, there are times when it all just gets to be too much.”

“I understand what you’re saying, Edna,” Professor Clayton reassured her. “And I agree with you. I think you really do need a nice, long vacation. I think you really do need to get away from Eastland for a while.”

“I think so, too,” Mrs. Garrett agreed. And then, Professor Clayton just pulled her into his arms as she began to cry.

In those moments, tears filled Blair’s eyes as well, and she immediately went upstairs to the girls’ bedroom, and Jo followed after her.

That Saturday evening, Blair just sat quietly on a concrete bench on the Eastland campus, sketchpad and one of her colored pencils in hand, drawing the breathtaking sunset, when Jo came and sat down next to her. Blair was wearing a simple red blouse and a blue jean skirt with black boots, and Jo was wearing a gray sweatshirt and blue jeans and sneakers, with her hair up in its usual ponytail. And the sunset before them was mostly blue and purple with light touches of pink and gold in the sky.

After taking a look at Blair’s drawing, Jo told her truthfully, “That’s beautiful.”

Blair looked and Jo and smiled and said, “Thank you. While I’m not exactly thrilled to have Monica Warner for a DNA donor after everything she’s done, one thing I actually am glad that I inherited from her is her artistry. Monica’s always been a wonderful artist.”

Jo nodded and said, “You’re a wonderful artist too, Blair. You always have been. I’ve seen your paintings before. You’re really very good at it. There’s a reason why you always win the Fine Arts Festival at Eastland every year.”

“Thank you,” said Blair as she continued her drawing.

“Almost done?” asked Jo.

“I’m putting the finishing touches on it now,” Blair replied. Several moments later, Blair completed the drawing of the sunset, and after signing it, she said, “There. It’s done.”

Jo looked at it again and told Blair, “You did a great job. It’s lovely.”

Blair looked over at Jo and smiled, and then she tore the drawing out of her sketchpad, handed it to her, and said, “Here. It’s yours.”

Jo shook her head and said, “Blair, I couldn’t.”

“Sure you could,” Blair insisted. “Keep it as a memento of me. A little something to remember me by.”

“Thank you,” said Jo, and then she accepted the drawing from Blair with a smile. “But I won’t need drawings or mementos to help me remember you, Blair. No matter how many years go by, no matter how old and senile I may get, you’re someone I’ll never forget.”

“Thank you,” Blair whispered with an emotional smile. “I hope the girls and Mrs. Garrett will remember me too. And speaking of Mrs. Garrett, I hope Mrs. Garrett will want to remember me. Given what she said to Professor Clayton Thursday evening, it appears she can’t get away from Eastland – and us – fast enough.”

Jo looked into Blair’s eyes and knowingly said, “Mrs. G.’s conversation with Professor Clayton really got to you, didn’t it?”

Fighting off tears, Blair nodded and told Jo, “Yeah, it did. I mean, I know that Mrs. Garrett’s job isn’t easy. And I know that the four of us are not a bunch of perfect little angels. I know it’s got to be tough sometimes, being completely responsible for four teenagers at once, while at the same time, feeding an entire school three times a day. And I know there have been times when we all have taken her for granted. I know there have been times when we all have been a real pain in the neck. Myself included. But hearing her speak about us like that…her implying that we’re just fights and spats and hormones and teenage crises and drama to her…I don’t know…that just really hurt my heart for some reason. After living with someone for all this time, going through so many ups and downs together as we have, you would think that we’d be more to her than just that. I’d never admit this to anyone else, but way deep down, Jo, way, way deep down, all these years, there’s always been this part of me that liked to believe that Mrs. Garrett really did see me as one of her own children. I think that deep down, there was always this part of me that sensed it that Monica never really saw me as her actual daughter. Just more of a girlfriend to go shopping with. A toy, even, to play with whenever she was in the mood for a little fun. I’d hoped that that would change when she had that breast cancer scare, but as soon as she found out that there had been a mix-up at the doctor’s office, that her biopsy results had gotten mixed up with those of another patient who did have breast cancer, as soon as she realized that she was alright, everything went right back to the way it had been before. Monica went right back to treating me like a girlfriend and a toy of hers, not a daughter. So there’s always been this part of me deep down that wanted to believe that there was at least a part of Mrs. Garrett that saw me as a daughter, even though I’m not.”

Jo nodded and said, “I understand where you’re coming from. With everything your DNA donors are putting you through, I think it makes sense that hearin’ Mrs. G. say what she did the other night would really hurt you. But Mrs. G. is different from your DNA donors, Blair. She’s not knowingly selfish and cruel like they are. David and Monica Warner know what they’re doing is evil and cruel. They know how badly they’re hurting you. But they’re choosing to do it anyway, because deep down, they care more about themselves and their own comfort than they do about you. Mrs. Garrett, on the other hand…yes, what she said to Professor Clayton was very hurtful, but she never did it knowingly, Blair. She never intentionally said those things to try and hurt you. She would never knowingly do anything selfish, that she knew ahead of time would hurt you, on purpose. You know that.”

“Yes, I do know that.”

“I think Mrs. Garrett was just tired the other night, you know? And when people are tired, and they’ve had a rough day, and they’re in a bad mood, they often say things that they don’t really mean. I don’t think Mrs. Garrett ever actually meant to imply that we’re just fights and spats and hormones and teenage crises and drama to her. That we’re just a burden and a nuisance to her and nothing else. I think she was just sayin’ that in the heat of the moment because she’s so heartbroken over what your DNA donors are doing to you.”

Blair nodded and said, “Yeah, I think you’re probably right. But it still hurt to hear her say that.”

“I know it did.”

“I try not to think about it too much. I try not to let it get to me. But sometimes, I just can’t help it,” said Blair as her chestnut eyes filled with tears. “It hurts so much that they’re doing this to me.”

Jo pulled Blair into her arms in that moment and gave her a big, long hug, and as they were embracing, Jo told her, “I know it does, Blair. I know.”

Still in Jo’s embrace, Blair asked, “What did I do to deserve them treating me like this, Jo? I mean, yes, I know that a lot of the time, I can be irritating and snobby, but still, I don’t think I ever did anything to deserve this.”

“You’re right, Blair,” Jo reassured her as they continued clinging to one another. “You’re right. You have your faults like all the rest of us, but you never did anything to deserve your cruel DNA donors puttin’ you through all this. You may have had your faults through the years, you may have been stuck-up and annoying through the years, but no matter what, you have always been a wonderful daughter to them, Blair. A much better daughter to them than either one of them ever deserved.”

In that moment, the embrace ended. And then, Blair looked into Jo’s eyes and asked, “Do you really mean that, Jo?”

Without the slightest hesitation, Jo replied, “Absolutely. Come on, Blair. Just step back and take a moment and look at the facts. Even though your DNA donors shipped you off to be raised by some boarding school, even though they chose to barely be in your life at all, you have always loved them and treated them with kindness and respect. Always. When you and Monica thought she had breast cancer, you stayed by her side and held her hand every second, despite the fact that she has almost never been there for you. When David lied to the government to get out of paying taxes, and when he made you the patsy, you never once blamed him or got angry at him. You even defended him when I got angry at him for doing that to you. Not every kid would’ve been so kind and loving to their parents after getting abandoned and betrayed by them like that. In fact, many of them wouldn’t. But you did. And because you made the choice to continue to love them all these years, despite the terrible way they’ve always treated you, that makes you an incredible person, Blair. An incredible daughter. A daughter that those two will never be worthy of.”

“Thank you, Jo. Thank you so much for saying that. I think I needed to hear that a lot more than I realized.”

“It’s the truth, Blair. I’m just tellin’ it like it is. The way you have treated those two all your life, in spite of all the pain they have caused you, is incredible. You are incredible. The way you’re handling all this. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much courage and strength in my entire life, Blair. I’m serious. I always used to kid you about being pampered and weak and spoiled, but the truth is, you are anything but weak. Growing up in my old neighborhood in the Bronx, it made me pretty tough. But I know that if I got a diagnosis like yours, and my mom abandoned me the way your mom and dad are abandoning you, I would be a wreck. A total wreck. I’d never be able to hold it together in front of Natalie and Tootie and Mrs. G. and all the other kids every day the way that you do. I honestly don’t know how you do it.”

Blair shook her head and said, “Please, don’t make me out to be some kind of hero, Jo.”

“You are a hero, Blair.”

“No, I’m not. Over these past few weeks, I’ve been taking a very cold, hard look at myself, Jo. At the life I’ve lived. Can you look at the way I’ve lived over the past three years that you’ve known me and honestly tell me that I have been a kind, loving, giving, thoughtful person? No. What I have been is a petty, obnoxious, spoiled, self-centered, egotistical jerk. You know that as well as I do.”

“It’s like I said, Blair. We all have our faults. I haven’t been an angel, either. I can often be rude, harsh, impatient, stubborn, and insensitive. None of us are capable of living a completely perfect life, Blair. None of us are Jesus.”

“That’s certainly true.”

“But I’ve known all along that underneath your spoiled exterior, you really are a very warm, kind, thoughtful, loving human being who really does care about others. Sure, you’ve gotten on my nerves a lot, and I’ve gotten on your nerves just as much, but Blair, all my life, I have always chosen my friends very carefully. I don’t give my friendship away to just anyone. If anyone wants to be my friend, they have to earn my trust and my respect. And you did that years ago, because you showed me who you really are deep down. Yes, you go on and on about yourself and drive us up the wall sometimes, but you also take the time to really be there for us whenever we’re down and we need a friend to give us a listening ear and build us back up again. I don’t know how many times you’ve been there for me whenever I was down and hurting because of the way Pop betrayed me, and there are many other girls around here who can easily say the same thing. Whenever a girl here at Eastland is having family problems, whenever her parents are fighting and getting a divorce, you are always the person she wants to find because she knows you understand, and she knows you’ll take the time to really listen to her and be there for her. A friend like that is so special, Blair. Priceless, even. And not always easy to find in this messed up world we’re living in. So don’t take yourself for granted, and don’t be too hard on yourself.”

“Thank you so much for saying that, Jo,” said Blair, fighting off another onslaught of tears.

“It’s true, Blair. I meant it. Every word.”

“May I ask you something personal?”

“Sure. Shoot.”

“I know you’re a Catholic. My family is Catholic, too, although we almost never went to church when I was growing up. Do you really believe in it?”

“When I was a kid, I always went with Ma to mass every Christmas and Easter. I went to confession occasionally to make Ma happy. But I didn’t always take it too seriously. But then when my friend Gloria committed suicide the year before I came to Eastland, it made me really start to think about life and death. Our own mortality. Where I would end up when I died. And then, I started takin’ it a lot more seriously. I started tryin’ to follow all the rules of Catholicism. Follow the Ten Commandments. Live righteously in God’s sight. But it didn’t take long for me to get frustrated and overwhelmed. I soon realized that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t live a life that was completely perfect in God’s sight. God is a holy God, Blair, and He cannot tolerate even the tiniest trace of sin. And because of the horrific choice that Adam made in the Garden of Eden, human beings inherited a sinful flesh from him and became imperfect. I soon realized, when I was trying to become perfect and earn my eternal salvation on my own, that no matter how hard I tried, I simply couldn’t. I was helpless. When I poured my heart out to Mrs. G. about this during my first year here, she helped me see the truth, that no one can ever possibly earn and maintain their eternal salvation on their own. That’s precisely why Jesus went to the cross, to accomplish for humanity what human beings could never hope to accomplish for themselves. In order to get into heaven, God’s standard is complete, total, one hundred percent perfection. Not even ninety-nine point nine percent is good enough. And no human being could ever accomplish that, no matter how hard they tried. So Jesus came to earth to live the one hundred percent perfect life for us, in our place, that we could never hope to live out ourselves, and He died to pay the price for all of our sins so that He could give us His perfection.”

“That makes sense,” Blair admitted. “But what about where Jesus says in the Bible to carry your cross and follow Him?”

“He was talking about discipleship, Blair, not eternal salvation. They’re two entirely different things. Because we have no hope of ever reaching God’s standard of one hundred percent perfection to get into heaven, and because we have a sinful flesh and we’re imperfect, there’s no way we could ever do enough good deeds to earn our own salvation. That’s why eternal salvation is not an earned reward for living a Godly life like so many professing Christians think it is. That’s why it’s a gift from God that is one hundred percent free and undeserved. It’s only after salvation that you need to decide how you’re going to live out the rest of your life here on earth. You have to decide if you’re going to continue living it just to please yourself like you did before you got saved, or if you’re going to spend the rest of your life serving Christ in discipleship, always trying your best to put His will and His desires ahead of your own, out of gratitude for everything He’s done for you. If you choose to disobey His call to discipleship and go on living for yourself, you won’t ever lose your salvation because, again, that is always a one hundred percent free gift that is completely undeserved and it is not an earned reward for living right. But just as a parent has to discipline a disobedient child, Father God will discipline us for disobeying Him if He has to. Disobeying Christ carries consequences, both in this life and in the next. As long as you’ve trusted in Christ’s shed blood at the cross to pay for all your sins, you’re always saved no matter what, but if you live a life of disobedience to Him, you will lose whatever eternal rewards you could have earned through your obedience, and you could experience consequences in this life as well. For example, if a man who has trusted in Christ for his eternal salvation chooses to cheat on his wife, and she finds out and decides to file for a divorce, he could lose his wife and his house and custody of his kids, and God may not protect him from those potential consequences. He’s still saved. He’ll still go to heaven when he dies. But in this life, God may very well allow him to experience those consequences to teach him a lesson. And in eternity, at what believers often refer to as the Bema judgment, when believers are judged for how well we lived on earth after getting saved, he’ll lose whatever eternal rewards he could have received by choosing to do the right thing and stay faithful to his wife. Does that make sense?”

After taking several long moments to really digest everything Jo said, Blair nodded and told her, “Yes, that all makes sense, Jo. Perfect sense. Thank you. That cleared up a lot of confusion I’ve been having lately.”

“Of course.”

“When my DNA donors got divorced, on the night before their divorce was set to become final, I prayed to God all night long to stop it. I begged and pleaded. I told Him that if He would just give me this one thing, I would never ask Him for anything else ever again. But, of course, their divorce went through the next day, right on schedule. I was devastated. I felt so let down by God. I felt as though He’d just ignored me, just ignored my prayers, completely. I was furious at Him for so many years. And for the longest time, I kept telling myself that God was a fairy tale. That He wasn’t real. That He didn’t exist. That people were so gullible and stupid to believe in Him. But when I look up at the sky and see such dazzling sunsets like this one…when I look at the trees and the grass and the clouds in the sky…when I look at mountains and oceans…even I have to admit it deep down that there’s no way all of this could’ve just come into being by accident or chance. I know deep down that God is real. I think I’ve known it deep down all along, although I certainly never would’ve admitted it out loud until now. And I know that with my illness, I no longer have the luxury to turn my back on Him out of anger and spite. I don’t want to need Him, Jo. But I do need Him. I need Him now more than ever.”

Jo then lovingly rubbed Blair’s back and said, “I know you do, Blair. And I know, especially after everything your DNA donors have done to you, that trust is probably very difficult for you. It sure is for me after everything Pop put me through. But I’m tellin’ you from personal experience, Blair, you can trust Jesus. If you’ll just put your faith in Him and His sacrifice for you at the cross, He will come through for you when you need Him the most. Will you do that, Blair? Will you trust Him? Will you let Him help you now?”

After a long silence, Blair simply responded with a tearful nod, and Jo pulled her into her arms and just sat with her and cried with her.

Chapter Text

A/N: See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.

Chapter 5: Absurdity

It was now the first week of May, and the weather had gotten much warmer since spring had arrived the month before. It was a Tuesday, a warm and lovely spring day with lots of sunshine, green trees, green grass, a rainbow of different kinds of flowers, and birds happily chirping outside. But for Blair and Jo, on the inside, it was still a cold, barren winter. The betrayal of Blair’s horrid DNA donors was still a terribly heavy burden on Blair’s heart. Understandably, she was still in agony inside because of them, not to mention the fact that she was slowly losing her life, bit by bit, day by day. And putting up a convincing façade for Natalie, Tootie, and Mrs. Garrett only made things more difficult for her. With each passing day, Blair was getting weaker and weaker, and it was becoming much more difficult to keep them fooled. Blair was now becoming completely winded from even a small, seemingly insignificant amount of physical exertion. She and Jo came up with clever ways to keep it all hidden, like making the claim to Mrs. Garrett and the girls that because Jo had lost a bet with Blair, she now had to carry all of Blair’s books, notebooks, bags, and other accessories for her for the rest of the school year. But try as they may, they couldn’t keep Mrs. Garrett completely fooled about everything. Although they had managed to keep most of Blair’s physical symptoms hidden the majority of the time, Mrs. Garrett naturally noticed the fact that ever since they’d come back from spring break, Blair and Jo had not gotten into one single argument with each other. Not one. And she’d definitely noticed it that the typically goofy Blair had suddenly become much more serious. Mrs. Garrett didn’t know what it was, exactly, that was happening in Blair’s life, but one thing she did know for certain was that something was wrong. Very wrong. And this evening, she wanted to get to the bottom of it, once and for all.

“Hello, Blair,” Mrs. Garrett said to her that night as she came walking into the lounge. It was now seven o’clock in the evening, and Blair was sitting quietly on the loveseat in the lounge, still in her school uniform, holding an open Bible in her hands.

Blair turned her gaze toward her guardian and gave her a slight smile, and she responded, “Good evening, Mrs. Garrett.” Mrs. Garrett was now wearing a long-sleeved, green blouse with a matching long green skirt, with her makeup done perfectly as always, and her hair up in its usual bun.

Mrs. Garrett then sat down on the loveseat beside Blair and told her, “I just wanted to see how you were doing.”

“I’m alright. Thanks for asking.”

“It’s not every day that I see you reading the Bible.”

“Is there anything wrong with reading the Bible, Mrs. Garrett?” Blair questioned, but not in a disrespectful tone.

“No, no. Not at all. I just know that it’s unusual for you.”

Blair nodded and said, “Yeah, I know I haven’t read it very often through the years. But now, I think it’s time I did. I think it’s time I started getting to know Jesus a little better.”

“I think that’s wonderful. But if I may ask, what was it, exactly, that made you decide that you wanted to start getting to know Jesus a little better?”

“Let’s just say that some personal issues came up in my life. Things that I really don’t feel like talking about right now.”

“You may not want to talk about it, but I think you need to talk about it, Blair. I’m worried about you. You really haven’t been yourself these past few weeks. And you also know that I am personally responsible for you. So if there’s something going on in your life, if there’s something wrong, I need to know about it so I can help you. More importantly, I want to know about it so I can help you, regardless if I’m responsible to the school for you or not.  

“I know that earlier this year, you really had your heart set on pursuing a relationship with Joel Tomlinson over at Bates. But ever since you came back from spring break, it’s like you’ve completely forgotten that he exists. It’s the same story with all the boys you’ve been dating this semester. You’ve stopped seeing all of them. You haven’t gone out on one single date since the end of March. That’s so unlike you. And it’s also highly unusual for you and Jo to go so many weeks without having one single argument.”

In that moment, Blair closed the Bible and leaned forward and set it down on the coffee table, and then she turned her gaze towards Mrs. Garrett and told her, “I know it’s not like me to act like this, but I’m in a place in my life right now where…I simply don’t want to deal with dating, and I simply don’t want to fight with Jo. I’ve simply got other things on my mind right now that I feel are more important.”

“Such as?”

“Getting closer to God for one thing. Spending more time with my loved ones for another. Focusing on my studies, especially now that I’m going to be starting college next semester. And taking care of myself. I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’ve been a little tired lately.”

“Yes, I have noticed that.”

“I went to see the nurse about it, and she thinks that all the depression I’m experiencing over leaving Eastland is spilling over into my physical health, causing physical symptoms, like weakness and fatigue. And she says that it’s probably best if I just slow down and take it easy for a while and just focus on taking care of myself. So I’m not going to push myself into going out on dates all the time when I really don’t feel like it and I really don’t want to. I’m just going to focus on God, my friends, my classes, and my health right now.”

“You know, it never once dawned on me that that might actually be the problem.”

“What?”

“That you might actually be feeling depressed about leaving Eastland. But now that I think about it, it makes perfect sense. To a lot of other girls here, Eastland is just their school, nothing more. But I know that Eastland has never been just a school to you, Blair. I know it’s always been your home.”

“That’s right,” Blair concurred.

“I understand why the thought of leaving here would make you feel depressed, Blair, but you can’t let it make you sick like this. I know how hard this is for you, but you’ve got to remember that even though you’ll be leaving Eastland in a few weeks, you’ll also be embarking on a new and exciting chapter of your life. I just know that you’re going to love college, Blair. And I know that when you do start attending college in the fall, you’re going to excel. Oh Blair, you…you’re so bright, and you’re so talented. Don’t think of your departure from Eastland as a type of ending. Think of it as the beginning of the rich, full, exciting life that you’re going to have. Oh, your future is just filled with so much hope and promise. Think about that, Blair.  Focus on that.”

After a long silence, with Blair fighting off tears, she finally said, “I know that you’re trying to help me, Mrs. Garrett. I know that you’re only saying all of this because you’re concerned for me. And I appreciate it. I really do. But with all due respect, I really don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

Before Mrs. Garrett could respond, Blair rose from her seat, picked up her black leather Bible from the coffee table, and left for the girls’ room upstairs.

“Oh Nat, you must be so excited about tonight,” said Tootie with a big smile. It was now Thursday, the twelfth of May, the day of Natalie’s sixteenth birthday. Classes had just ended a few minutes ago, and Tootie and Natalie were now standing together in the cafeteria in their school uniforms, each of them wearing their blue Eastland sweaters over the blouses and vests of their uniforms like they frequently did. Mrs. Garrett was also in the cafeteria, sitting at one of the tables, wearing a red blouse with white polka dots and a beige skirt with matching beige dress shoes, wearing the perfect touch of makeup, and her hair up in its usual bun.

“I sure am, Tootie,” Natalie responded with an equally big smile. “I’ve been looking forward to this all week long.”

Mrs. Garrett smiled then and rose from her seat and walked over to them, and she said, “I know you have been, Natalie. It’s a very special occasion.”

“I’ll say! My parents are really going all out tonight, taking us all out to that fancy French restaurant in the city that I’m so crazy about for a big dinner party to celebrate my birthday. And Mom and Dad are even letting me stay home from school tomorrow so I can enjoy a three-day weekend. And Mom and I are going to spend the whole day tomorrow shopping, and then she’s taking me out to the movies. It’s going to be so much fun.”

“It sounds like it,” Mrs. Garrett said happily. “And I think it’s quite fitting. After all, you only turn sweet sixteen once.”

“True,” Natalie agreed.

“I just hope Blair will be able to enjoy it,” said Tootie.

“What do you mean?” asked Mrs. Garrett.

“Blair just hasn’t been herself lately,” Tootie replied. “Haven’t you guys noticed? She always looks so tired all the time. And there’s this really weird rumor going around about her and Jo.”

“Rumor? What rumor?” Mrs. Garrett inquired.

“A ridiculous rumor,” Natalie responded. “According to Terry, someone supposedly saw Jo sitting on a bench here on campus late one night, with Blair lying on the bench and her head resting in Jo’s lap, sleeping. Supposedly, when Blair and Jo were on their way back from that study session with a few of the guys at Bates a couple of weeks ago, Blair was too weak and tired to make it all the way home, so Jo let her stop and sleep with her head in her lap for a little while. But, come on. Can you actually believe that Jo Polniaczek of all people would actually let Blair Warner of all people use her lap for a pillow and take a nap? It’s completely absurd.”

“Ordinarily, I’d agree with you, Natalie, but those two have been acting so strange over the past few weeks,” said Tootie. “For one thing, right after Blair got back from spring break, she forgot all about Joel Tomlinson, and she was mad about him. And for another, Blair has basically stopped dating altogether. She never goes out with a boy anymore. And you know how odd that is for someone like Blair.”

“It’s not all that strange, Tootie,” said Mrs. Garrett. “Blair and I had a good talk about it last week, and she explained that she’s decided to take a break from dating to focus on other things.”

“What other things? What could possibly be more important to Blair Warner besides dating?” Natalie questioned.

“Her schoolwork for one,” Mrs. Garrett replied. “I imagine it’s gotten pretty taxing for Blair, trying to balance her classes, her schoolwork, her duties in the kitchen and cafeteria, and so many boyfriends all at once. Even people who enjoy dating as much as Blair does need to stop and take a breather occasionally. And Blair wants to focus on her studies more, especially with her starting college next semester. So I think it makes perfect sense that Blair’s taking a break from dating right now.”

“But it’s not just Blair. It’s Jo, too,” Tootie argued. “Jo also never goes out on dates anymore. Heck, she barely even leaves campus anymore. And whenever she does go anywhere, it’s always with Blair. Haven’t you noticed it, Mrs. Garrett? Ever since we all got back from spring break, Blair and Jo have become practically inseparable.”

“Not only that. Ever since they came back from spring break, I don’t think I’ve seen them fight with each other at all,” Natalie added. “Not even once.”

“I have noticed that,” Mrs. Garrett admitted. “But I don’t think that necessarily means that there’s anything wrong. You girls are obviously getting older now. You’re maturing. And Blair and Jo are becoming adults. And part of becoming an adult is learning to put aside childish things. I think Blair and Jo are simply growing up and realizing that it’s a waste of time to always get so caught up in silly and foolish arguments. I think they’re growing beyond that. And I’m very proud of them for it.”

“You’ve got a good point, Mrs. Garrett,” said Tootie.

“Well anyway, I still haven’t decided what dress I want to wear for tonight. Tootie, come upstairs with me and help me pick out something, will you?” Natalie asked Tootie.

“Sure thing, Nat,” Tootie replied with a smile, and then she and Natalie bounced upstairs, as happy as could be, without a care in the world.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Garrett got lost in deep thought. Even though the explanation Blair had given her several days ago for her fatigue and unusual behavior was certainly plausible, way deep down inside, a little voice in her gut was telling her that there was more to the story. That something was terribly wrong with Blair that was far more serious than she was letting on. There was even a tiny part of her gut that was wondering if there were any possibility that Blair could actually be the anonymous Eastland student with a terminal illness.

But the nanosecond that hint of a thought began to hit Mrs. Garrett’s brain waves, she instantly brushed it aside, adamantly refusing to even consider the possibility. If Blair actually were that gravely ill, she would never keep something like that from her and the girls. They were all a family, a very close family, and they had been for years. They always confided in each other. They always told each other everything. Maybe Blair was experiencing a lot of fatigue because of her depression right now, but that certainly didn’t mean that she was terminally ill. That certainly didn’t mean that she was dying.

Shaking her head at the sheer absurdity of these thoughts, Mrs. Garrett reassured herself she was being crazy and foolish, and then she also went upstairs to her bedroom to decide which dress she wanted to wear for Natalie’s birthday party later on that night.

Chapter Text

A/N: See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.

Chapter 6: Being Strong

Unfortunately for Blair, she really had not been having a good day on Natalie’s birthday. She’d felt sicker, weaker, and more tired than she’d ever felt before in her life that day, quite literally, and it had taken every ounce of strength she could muster just to get ready for the party, not to mention actually going to it. Just going into the city with her friends took everything she had, and eating even a couple of tiny bites of her food was very difficult. But somehow, she managed to find the strength to hang on and get through the dinner party until they finally left. And when they all headed back to Eastland in Mrs. Garrett’s car, Tootie sat with Mrs. Garrett up front in the passenger seat while Blair and Jo sat in the back. And it wasn’t lost on Mrs. Garrett or Tootie that practically the instant they all got in the car, Blair suddenly fell into a very deep sleep. They also noticed how Jo had had to wrap her arm around Blair to support her when they did get back to Eastland; that Blair simply did not have the strength to walk inside and up the stairs to their bedroom on her own. And although neither one of them said anything, deep down, they were both terrified of what it all might mean.

About halfway through the dinner party, Blair had asked Jo to accompany her to the ladies’ room, and naturally, she did. And while they were in the restroom together, Blair vomited twice. And when they woke up the next morning, Blair vomited again two more times. So obviously, Mrs. Garrett had no problem with allowing Blair to skip her classes that day and stay in bed.

But even though it did help Blair a little bit to be allowed to spend the day resting, she definitely noticed that over the weekend, her overall condition wasn’t improving. She’d lost a great amount of the physical strength she’d still had just a couple of days ago, and it really frightened both her and Jo. So as soon as she had the chance, she called to make an appointment with her doctor that Monday morning. However, Blair’s doctor, Dr. Hugh Thomas, was out of town for the next couple of weeks on vacation, and his colleague, Natalie’s father, Dr. Sai Green, whose office was right next door to his, was taking care of all his cases for him while he was away. Blair made an appointment with him for one o’clock the following afternoon, and she asked Jo and Mr. Bradley to go with her for moral support, which they gladly agreed to do.

After having his nurse draw Blair’s blood, and after performing an EKG and an ultrasound of Blair’s heart, Dr. Green returned to the exam room with some very bad news.

“I’m very sorry, Blair, but I’m afraid the news…isn’t good,” Dr. Green told her truthfully as he stood before the exam table, with Blair sitting on top of it in a green hospital gown. Jo had dressed a bit more nicely today, in a navy-blue blouse with black dress pants and her hair up in its usual ponytail, and Mr. Bradley was wearing a dark grey suit with a white shirt and a black tie. Dr. Green was wearing his typical white lab coat over a white dress shirt, black tie, and black pants. And he was now gazing into the face of one of his daughter’s closest friends, utterly heartbroken at what he had to tell her.

Jo and Mr. Bradley instantly rose from their seats the moment he said that, and they came over to the exam bed to be closer to Blair.

“I was afraid it wouldn’t be good news,” Blair said quietly.

“As you know, Blair, with the tumor growing and cutting off the blood supply to your heart, a heart attack was practically inevitable. And according to all my tests, the inevitable has occurred. You’ve suffered a heart attack. A massive heart attack that has done a significant amount of damage to your heart.”

“But I don’t understand. I haven’t felt any chest pain. Or at least, not any severe chest pain. Isn’t the chest pain of a heart attack supposed to be agony? Like an elephant sitting on your chest?” asked Blair.

“Many people do experience that terrible feeling, like an elephant is sitting on their chest, but sometimes, heart attacks can actually be far more subtle. Sometimes, instead of getting the feeling of an elephant crushing their chest, people will experience milder symptoms that they normally wouldn’t associate with a heart attack. Things like fatigue, indigestion, nausea, vomiting, discomfort in the jaw, neck, back, or arms. Have you had any of those symptoms recently?”

“Uh…well…Jo and I didn’t say anything, we kept it to ourselves, but when we went to the ladies’ room at Nat’s birthday party Thursday night and we were gone for a long time, it was because I got sick to my stomach. Twice.”

“You vomited?” Dr. Green asked.

“Yes,” Blair replied.

“She also vomited twice the next morning,” Jo added.

“And all day that day, I was exhausted,” Blair told him. “Much more than usual. It took all my strength just to get dressed for the party that night. And I did have a lot of pain in my neck and in both of my arms. But I had no idea that the pain in my arms and neck could’ve had anything to do with my heart.”

“That’s most likely when the heart attack occurred,” said Dr. Green.

“So, okay Dr. Green, where do we go from here?” Mr. Bradley inquired. “What’s the next step?”

“I know you won’t like what I have to say, Blair, but I have to be truthful. In my professional medical opinion, I believe you need to be in the hospital right now,” said Dr. Green. “Your heart muscle is badly damaged, and your heart is very weak, and the tumor is growing at a faster rate than your doctor expected. I know you were told at the end of March that you probably had around three to five months left, but now, with the rapid growth of the tumor and the heart attack, I think we’re looking at a matter of weeks.”

“Weeks?” Jo gasped.

They all glanced at one another in pure horror over the next few moments, and then, Blair turned her gaze back to the doctor and asked him, “How many weeks am I looking at, Dr. Green?”

After a long pause, Dr. Green replied, “Four. Five. Maybe six. I absolutely hate to say it, but to be completely honest with you, you might not even have that long. Given the current condition of your heart and the terrible strain it’s under from the tumor, it actually is possible that you could go into cardiac arrest at any moment now. That’s why I strongly recommend that you let me have you admitted into the hospital as soon as possible. I know that it’s not what you want. I know you don’t want to die in the hospital, but even though it’s not what you want, it’s what you need, Blair. You need to be on bedrest now. You need to get all the rest you can, and you need to be in a completely stress-free environment, and you need to be on supplemental oxygen twenty-four hours a day to take as much of the workload off your heart as possible. The more rest and relaxation you get, the more supplemental oxygen you get, the more time it’ll probably give you. Again, I know it’s not what you want to hear, but I have to tell you the truth, and that is the truth. I’m sorry, Blair. I am so, so sorry.”

Blair nodded, and Jo wrapped her arms around her, and the two girls just cried together for several long moments while Mr. Bradley put his hand on Blair’s shoulder, crying with both of them silently on the inside.

“Would you like a little time alone with Jo and Mr. Bradley, Blair?” Dr. Green asked, and Blair responded with a quiet nod, so he walked out of the exam room a few moments later.

When she and Jo had finally gotten everything all cried out – for the moment, anyway – Jo grabbed the box of tissues off of Dr. Green’s desk, and she and Blair wiped their eyes and regained their composure.

“I was so hoping that I’d have enough strength to get through the rest of the school year and walk across that stage and get my diploma in June before I had to worry about leaving Eastland and finding my own place in Peekskill. But what Dr. Green just said…it changes everything.”

“Yes, it does,” Mr. Bradley said soberly.

“I can’t wait until June to start looking for my own place. I need to find a house or an apartment in Peekskill and get some furniture and start preparing to move out as quickly as possible.”

“Blair, Dr. Green said that you need to be in the hospital now,” Mr. Bradley protested.

“But you know how Blair feels about that, Mr. B.,” said Jo. “You know that’s not what Blair wants.”

“No, but as Dr. Green said, it’s what Blair needs,” Mr. Bradley argued.

“What I need is to start making preparations to leave Eastland as soon as possible, for the girls’ sake,” Blair insisted.

“What do the girls have to do with this?” Mr. Bradley inquired.

“Dr. Green clearly said that I could go into cardiac arrest at any moment now, Mr. Bradley,” Blair told him. “So think about it. If, one night when we’re all in our room asleep, I go into cardiac arrest and I die in my sleep, there’s a good chance that either Natalie or Tootie could be the one who tries to wake me up the next morning, only to find that I’m gone. And I can’t let that happen. They are simply too young and too sensitive to get hit so suddenly with something so traumatic. Something like that could scar them for the rest of their lives. I can’t allow that to happen, Mr. Bradley. I can’t risk putting them through something like that.”

“But Dr. Green said that in order to give you as much time as possible, it’s essential for you to get as much rest as you can and avoid stress at all times. And trying to coordinate a move – especially trying to do it in a rush – would put you under far too much stress, Blair,” Mr. Bradley argued.

“That’s a good point,” Jo agreed.

“So what’s the answer? Stay at Eastland until I die and risk traumatizing Natalie and Tootie and risk scarring them for life?” Blair asked.

After a long pause, Mr. Bradley finally looked at Blair and told her, “I know you don’t want to go into the hospital, and since you don’t want to go, I won’t try and make you. But you simply cannot keep this secret any longer, Blair. The time has come for Natalie, Tootie, and Mrs. Garrett to finally hear the truth. Mrs. Garrett in particular.”

“I don’t know if I can handle it, having to look into their eyes and tell them about all this.”

“If it’ll make it any easier for you, Blair, I’ll tell them for you,” said Mr. Bradley.

Blair responded with a frustrated sigh and a hesitant nod.

“I know how much you want to protect them, Blair, but you simply cannot keep this from them forever,” Mr. Bradley continued. “The reason why you even decided to spend your final weeks at Eastland in the first place is because you really need to be with your family now, and Mrs. Garrett and the girls have always been much more of a family to you than your own parents ever were. We all know that. And you cannot push away your true family now, right when you need us all by your side the most. Blair, you have got to let us help you now. And Mrs. Garrett and the girls simply must be told what’s going on. As soon as I’ve told Mrs. Garrett, I’ll speak to her about taking off her dietician hat and putting on her nursing hat once again. I’ll ask her to oversee your care. I’ll also speak to her about letting you sleep in her room from now on to protect Natalie and Tootie. And so you can have some extra peace and quiet to help you rest.”

After several long moments of silence, Jo put a loving hand on Blair’s shoulder and told her, “He’s right, Blair. I know how much you want to keep this a secret, but Mr. B.’s right. You can’t leave Eastland now and you can’t move into another place. That would be way too hard on your heart at this point. You have got to stop being so strong, Blair. You have just got to.”

“That’s very true,” Mr. Bradley agreed. “You have been so strong through this whole thing, Blair. You have been so strong for so long. Now, it’s time that the tables were turned. Now, it’s time to let all of us start being strong for you. Now is the time for us to start being the strong ones while you lean on us and rest. Alright?”

“Alright,” Blair whispered, and then both Jo and Mr. Bradley wrapped their arms around her and cried with her.

“Geri and I want the truth, Monica, and we want it right now,” Francesca Tyler said very angrily to her younger sister. She was tall and slim with long brunette hair and her daughter’s blue eyes, wearing a dark blue designer pantsuit, while Geri, who was standing beside her in the living room of Monica Warner’s penthouse apartment in New York City, was wearing a simple light pink blouse with blue jeans and sneakers. “Pauline told me when we met for lunch this afternoon that her husband – who happens to be a close friend and colleague of David’s – told her that according to David, himself, Blair is dying from a rare form of cancer. Furthermore, Pauline’s been told that you and David have abandoned Blair completely and that you’re not even going to try to be there for her as her condition worsens. Is all of that the truth, Monica?”

After a long pause, and with tears streaming down her cheeks, Monica, wearing a long designer gray dress, stood before her older sister and her niece and nodded.

“WHAT?!” Geri hollered in utter heartbreak and disbelief.

“You can’t be serious,” Francesca gasped.

“When Blair and I went shopping together in Paris during her spring break, all of the sudden, she passed out, and we had to call for an ambulance and rush her to the hospital and have a bunch of tests done on her. It’s a very rare type of malignant tumor called an angiosarcoma. It’s in her heart, and it’s growing. It’s cutting off the blood supply to her heart. The doctors say that Blair has only a year left. At best. They said back in March that Blair most likely only had about three to five months left.”

“Oh, God,” Francesca gasped as her eyes filled with tears.

“Blair only has a year to live? At best?” said Geri, looking very much as if she’d just been kicked in the stomach.

“That’s what the doctors say,” Monica responded.

“Where is Blair now, Aunt Monica?” Geri questioned.

“She wanted to go back to Eastland to be with her friends,” Monica replied.

“Is there some reason why Blair prefers spending the time she has left with her friends and not with her own mother?” Francesca asked pointedly.

“I already…I already told Blair the truth,” said Monica.

“And what is the truth, Aunt Monica?” Geri pressed her.

“The truth is that I simply cannot do this. I simply cannot bear to watch my beautiful little girl get sicker and sicker with each passing day. I can’t bear to watch her die right before my eyes. I just can’t bear it. And neither can David. So, she’s gone back to Eastland, to spend the time she has left with her friends. And when she reaches the point where she’ll need round-the-clock care, I plan on purchasing a small house for Blair to live in that’s near Eastland, and I plan on hiring a nurse to take care of her for us.”

“I don’t believe what I’m hearing!” Francesca yelled.

“Neither do I!” Geri cried out.

“So the minute you find out that your daughter, your only child, your baby, is dying, you and David just…abandon her? Just like that?” Francesca asked in utter disbelief.

“I know how awful it sounds, Francesca, but I cannot work up the strength and the courage to face this,” said Monica as she continued to cry. “I just don’t have it in me. I just don’t.”

“Blair was there for you when we all thought you had breast cancer!” Geri shouted.

“I know she was, but I can’t handle this the way that Blair did,” Monica argued. “I’m not strong like she is. I simply don’t have it in me.”

“That doesn’t matter! If you don’t have the strength and the courage inside of you to face this with your baby, then you FIND the strength and the courage!” Francesca raged. “You’re Blair’s mother! THAT’S YOUR JOB! And it is NOT a job you can simply opt out of when things start to get painful! Yes, you’re weak. Yes, you’re spoiled. Yes, our parents coddled you and pampered you far too much when we were growing up. And yes, you did opt out of a lot of the responsibilities of a mother when you selfishly chose to ship Blair off to Eastland to let a boarding school raise your child for you without you ever putting in any real effort yourself. But even so, there are still some responsibilities as a mother that you simply cannot opt out of or pass off to someone else, and this is one of them. Now Geri and I are going to be back here first thing in the morning, and we are going to get on the earliest train and go to Peekskill together, AND YOU ARE GOING TO APOLOGIZE TO YOUR DAUGHTER FOR THE EMOTIONAL HELL YOU HAVE PUT HER THROUGH THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS, AND YOU ARE GOING TO BEG HER FORGIVENESS, AND WE ARE GOING TO BRING HER BACK HOME, AND YOU ARE GOING TO DO THE THINGS THAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO. YOU ARE GOING TO START BEING THERE FOR BLAIR, AND YOU ARE GOING TO START TAKING CARE OF HER, AND THAT IS ALL THERE IS TO IT! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?”

Saying nothing, Monica just stood there and sobbed for the longest time. But finally, knowing that her older sister would rip her apart with her bare hands if she didn’t agree to go, she looked at her and Geri and reluctantly nodded.

Chapter Text

A/N: See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.

Chapter 7: Rights and Privileges

The next day, everything was business as usual. Although Blair was very weak and tired, she managed to hide it well enough and take care of her chores in the kitchen and cafeteria. (Jo, however, took on as many of Blair’s chores as she could.) But when Blair and Jo went over to Margo’s table near the end of the lunch break that day, where Margo was sitting with Sue Ann, to clear their table, Margo’s very cruel and mean-spirited personality reared its ugly head once again. Natalie, Tootie, and Mrs. Garrett were also in the cafeteria clearing away tables, so they, along with every other student in the cafeteria, could overhear everything that was being said, and so could Mr. Bradley, who just happened to walk into the cafeteria at that moment as well. Naturally, all the girls were in their Eastland uniforms, and Mr. Bradley wore a navy-blue suit with a matching navy-blue tie, and Mrs. Garrett wore her purple and blue plaid blouse and purple skirt, with the perfect touch of makeup, and her hair up in a bun as always.

“Well, well, well,” said Margo in a condescending voice. “If it isn’t Eastland’s most infamous criminals. Jo, the hoodlum gangster from the Bronx, and Blair, the high-society drug addict.”

Blair and Jo stared at each other for a brief moment with confused glances, and then Blair looked over at Margo and asked, “What are you talking about, Margo?”

Margo then picked up the black leather purse she’d set down on the floor beside her chair, unzipped it, and pulled out a bottle of pills.

“I’m talking about this,” she replied, holding up the bottle. “This bottle of pills fell out of your bookbag in history class today.”

“That doesn’t belong to you, Margo,” Jo told her in a very no-nonsense tone of voice. “Give it back.”

“Not to worry. I’ll give it back. I’m an honest person. I won’t keep something that doesn’t belong to me. However, before I do give you your bottle of pills back, Blair, would you mind answering a question for me first?”

Jo then set the large plastic container of plates and silverware that she’d been carrying down on the table, and she walked around Blair and purposely put herself in between Blair and Margo, and she told Margo, “Yes, she would mind. Blair doesn’t owe you any explanations, Margo. Now give the pills back. They don’t belong to you.”

“I know that Blair doesn’t owe me any explanations, but she definitely owes an explanation to Mr. Bradley and Mrs. Garrett, because this isn’t a mere bottle of aspirin. This is a bottle of morphine tablets. Now what on earth would a wealthy, cultured, well-bred, young, healthy, pretty, high-society debutante like Blair Warner be doing with a bottle of morphine tablets? Surely Princess Blair would never dream of getting into drugs. Or, could it be, could it just be, that Blair isn’t as healthy as we thought? Could it be, could it just be, that Blair is actually that anonymous Eastland student who is so pathetic, so worthless, so unloved, such a loser, that not even her own parents want to be with her when she dies?”

“THAT’S ENOUGH, MARGO!” Mr. Bradley’s voice bellowed through the cafeteria in that instant. Meanwhile, looks of heartbreak and horror overtook Natalie’s and Tootie’s faces, and Mrs. Garrett’s face most of all, as they finally started putting two and two together.

Jo then turned to face Blair, and as soon as she saw all the silent tears streaming down her face, something in her just completely snapped.

In the next moment, Jo walked up to Blair, put her hands on her upper arms, looked straight into her eyes, and said, “Blair, you have been so incredibly strong these past couple of months. You have fought so many battles that most of the people in this room don’t even know about. And I know how tired you are. I know that you’re exhausted. So why don’t you just sit down and relax and let me get in the ring and fight this round for you, alright?”

After a brief pause, Blair silently nodded, and then she whispered, “Thanks, Jo.”

Blair sat down in the chair across from Margo and Sue Ann then, and Margo rose from her seat while Jo approached her with her hands on her hips, wearing her best tough, no-nonsense face.

“Margo, I’ve got three things I wanna say to you. First off, we don’t know why Blair has morphine tablets, but I’ve seen drug addicts on the streets of my old neighborhood all my life, and I know a drug addict when I see one. And I can guarantee you that Blair Warner is no drug addict.

“Second, we may not know why Blair’s doctor prescribed morphine tablets for her, but it’s not our place to know why. And just because Blair’s doctor prescribed her morphine, it does not automatically mean that she has some sort of terminal illness. For all we know, Blair could’ve injured herself somehow. But that’s beside the point. The point is, it’s not any of our business. That is a private matter between Blair and her doctor. And it’s up to Blair to decide if she wants to tell any of us about it, not you.

“And third, I find it incredibly ironic, Margo, that someone as cold and cruel as you are actually thinks that Blair’s the one who’s the pathetic, worthless, unloved loser when it’s clearly you who are all those things. All you’re doing is projecting all of your garbage onto Blair, and everyone in this room knows it. Yes, Blair can be snobby and annoying at times, but if you’d ever bothered to really get to know her like I have over the past three years, you would know that underneath all of that, she’s one of the kindest people you’ll ever meet, with one of the biggest, most beautiful hearts you’ll ever see. But then again, having a heart is something you couldn’t even begin to understand, because you choose to be an evil, worthless person. And that’s why I’m saying all of this as calmly as I can, without raising my voice to you, because you are so worthless that you aren’t even worth the energy it would take for me to bother raising my voice in the first place.”

In that moment, Jo suddenly reached out and snatched the bottle of pills from Margo’s hand and gave it back to Blair, while everyone else in the room just silently absorbed everything that Jo had just said. It was then that they all realized that as terrifying as Jo could be when she was angry enough to yell at someone, she was even more terrifying when she chose to tell someone off without raising her voice.

Jo then tuned her gaze back to Margo and told her, “I know I said there were three things I wanted to tell you, but I’ve got one more important thing I need to say. If you ever go near Blair again, if you ever even think of speaking to her again, and I hear about it, I will make certain that you will be the one who needs morphine. A truckload of it. And that’s not a threat, Margo. That’s a promise. Do you understand me?”

“You don’t need to worry about Margo, Jo,” said Mr. Bradley. “Because as of this moment, Margo is officially expelled.”

“Expelled?!” Margo cried out.

“That’s right. Because Jo was right about every word she just said to you, Margo. Every word. For you to treat someone the horrific way you just treated Blair, you truly are a very cruel and heartless person. A person who is utterly unworthy of the Eastland uniform. Go to your dorm room immediately and change out of that uniform into everyday clothes. Then pack your bags and meet me in my office in an hour. I’m going to call your parents and inform them of what you’ve done, and I’m going to inform them that you’ve been expelled and that they need to come and pick you up and take you home.”

“But I’m a senior! I’m so close to graduating! You can’t do this to me!” Margo protested.

“I didn’t do anything to you, Margo. You did this to you, the second you chose to open that vicious mouth of yours and spew your poisonous venom all over Blair when you knew, just the same as we all know just by looking at her, that she’s really hurting right now. After committing such a heinous act of pure cruelty, allowing you to graduate from Eastland would be an insult to everything that this school stands for. Yes, you’re a senior. Yes, you’re right on the verge of graduating. But even so, you still need to be reminded that attending Eastland and graduating from Eastland is not a right. It’s a privilege. A privilege that can be lost if you decide to be cruel to people who are vulnerable and hurting. Now go on. Leave. Get out of here. NOW.”

Unable to say anything in her defense, Margo turned around and ran out of the cafeteria. And as soon as she was gone, Mrs. Garrett, Mr. Bradley, Jo, Natalie, Tootie, Sue Ann, and many other Eastland students gathered around Blair in a protective huddle. Jo squatted down before Blair, and without a word, Blair just clung to her and cried, and Jo silently rubbed her back for the longest time.

Mr. Bradley then turned to face all the other students, and he told them, “I think Blair needs to be alone with Mrs. Garrett and the girls right now. You all should get back to your classes. Natalie, Tootie, you two stay behind.”

They all left the cafeteria then, and once they were gone, Mrs. Garrett sat down in the chair closest to Blair and Jo, and Natalie and Tootie sat down in the two chairs across from them, while Jo remained crouched in front of Blair with Blair still clinging to her, and Mr. Bradley stood close by. Blair continued to cry for several long moments while Mrs. Garrett reached out and put a loving hand on Blair’s left shoulder.

Finally, Mr. Bradley said, “Blair, go on upstairs and get some rest while I explain everything to Mrs. Garrett and the girls. And that’s not a suggestion. That’s an order. Jo, go with her. Help her up the stairs.”

“Right,” said Jo, and then she wrapped her arm around Blair’s waist and helped her stand up, and Blair continued leaning on Jo for support as they headed to their room upstairs.

Once they’d left, Natalie said, “I’ve got a really bad feeling about this, Mr. Bradley.”

“So have I,” Tootie concurred.

“Just for the record…Blair isn’t taking morphine tablets because she injured herself somehow, is she?” Natalie inquired.

After a long pause, Mr. Bradley shook his head and replied, “No. Blair’s doctor didn’t prescribe her morphine because of an injury. Blair is…a terribly sick little girl.”

“I don’t like this, Mr. Bradley,” Mrs. Garrett said with great dread. “You’re really starting to scare me.”

“You’re scaring me too, Mr. Bradley,” said Natalie.

“And me,” said Tootie.

“Edna, girls, I wish I could alleviate all your anxiety, but I can’t. I have to tell you all the truth. We simply cannot keep this hidden any longer. Blair is the student who is terminally ill.” The instant Mr. Bradley said that, rivers of tears started flowing from Natalie’s and Tootie’s eyes, while Mrs. Garrett covered her mouth with her right hand, trying her hardest to fight off the tears that had already begun to form in her eyes. “When she was out on a shopping spree with Mrs. Warner in Paris during spring break,” Mr. Bradley continued, “she suddenly passed out, and she was rushed to the nearest hospital by ambulance. She spent several days in a hospital in Paris and a few days in a hospital here in New York, and she was examined and tested by some of the best doctors on the planet. And all the doctors she had in Paris and in New York said the same thing. They all agreed that Blair has a very rare form of cancer, a malignant tumor growing in her heart. The medical term for it is cardiac angiosarcoma.”

Mr. Bradley and Tootie immediately noticed how both Mrs. Garrett and Natalie winced as soon as he said those words, as if he’d just plunged an invisible knife through their chests. But their reaction did not surprise them, given the fact that Mrs. Garrett was a registered nurse and Natalie the daughter of a doctor. Obviously, both of them had more medical knowledge than the average person, so they both understood painfully well what the words cardiac angiosarcoma truly meant. They understood that those two words were basically a death sentence for Blair.

After Mrs. Garrett, Natalie, and Tootie all had a good, long cry together, Mrs. Garrett gasped through her tears, “This is what that baby girl has been carrying around inside ever since she came back from spring break?”

“Yes,” Mr. Bradley whispered as Jo walked back into the cafeteria and came up to their table.

Tootie then looked over at Jo and asked her, “You knew about this, didn’t you, Jo? You knew the entire time.”

After a brief pause, Jo nodded and responded in a quiet voice, “Yeah, Tootie. I’ve known all along. Ever since the first day that we all got back from spring break.”

While rising from her seat, Natalie angrily said aloud, “You’ve known all this time that Blair is dying, Jo, and you didn’t say a word to Mrs. Garrett or to any of us?! Jo, how could you do that?! How could you keep this from us?!”

“Because it wasn’t my place to tell you, Natalie,” Jo answered with surprising calmness. “It was Blair’s place. I gave her my word that I wouldn’t tell anybody about it, and I don’t break my word. You guys know that.”

“But why did Blair tell you about it and not us?” Tootie inquired.

“It’s a matter of respect, Tootie,” Jo answered in a solemn voice. “It’s no secret that Blair and I have always had our differences, but no matter how annoyed and angry we get at each other, we both know that deep down underneath it all, we respect each other and we’ve got each other’s backs. It’s a silent understanding we’ve always had between us. Blair knew how much it hurt me getting blindsided by Gail’s sudden decision to leave Eastland, and then getting even more blindsided finding out from somebody other than her that the reason she was leaving was because she was dying. And Blair respected me too much to let me get blindsided like that again. So on our first day back from spring break, Blair told me the truth about what’s happening to her. And I respected Blair too much to tell anybody else about it since I already knew that she wanted to keep her illness a secret for as long as she could.”

“But why didn’t Blair want us to know?” asked a tearful Natalie. And then, Mrs. Garrett got up from her seat and began pacing anxiously.

“Because Blair knew how much the truth would hurt you and Tootie, and she didn’t want the last days that she would spend with you to be painful and sad,” Jo explained.

Several moments later, Mrs. Garrett stopped pacing back and forth. Standing next to Mr. Bradley, she said, “Now, it all makes so much sense. Forgetting about Joel Tomlinson and all her boyfriends. Not wanting to go out on dates anymore. Not wanting to fight with Jo anymore. Reading the Bible and wanting to get closer to Jesus. The constant fatigue and exhaustion. The depression. Dear Lord. The truth’s been right in front of my face, right in front of my eyeballs, this entire time. And I didn’t even see it. Not because I couldn’t see it. No. Because I refused to see it. I could’ve been helping Blair through this all along. All this time that she’s been shouldering this unspeakable burden in secret, I could have helped her. I could have been there for her. But I wasn’t because I was too selfish, too much of a coward, to face the truth that was right in front of me all this time.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, Edna,” Mr. Bradley said kindly. “After all, Blair’s been just like a daughter to you every day for the past four years. It’s understandable that you wouldn’t want to believe that Blair is the one who’s dying.”

“I couldn’t love Blair more if she were my own flesh and blood daughter, and I know you all know that. But the fact of the matter is, she’s not my daughter, no matter how much, how very, very much, I want her to be. Whether I like it or not, she’s somebody else’s daughter. And no matter how hard it might be for me, I know I have got to respect that. I know the way Blair’s parents have handled this so far has been appalling. Absolutely appalling. But, whether we like it or not, at the end of the day, they are still Blair’s parents, and she needs them now more than she’s ever needed them before. They’re probably running away from this, they’re probably trying to hide from it and pretend it’s not happening, because they’re terrified of losing Blair, and they don’t want to experience the pain they know it will cause them. But they cannot be allowed to run away from this. They cannot be allowed to abandon Blair when she needs them the most. I cannot allow them to abandon Blair when she needs them the most. I’ve got to track them down and get in touch with them and talk to them about this. I’ve got to talk some sense into them.”

A lightning bolt of anger flashed in Jo’s green eyes then, and Jo walked over closer to where Mrs. Garrett was standing, and she said to her, “Mrs. Garrett, I already explained why Blair didn’t want Natalie and Tootie to know about her illness. Aren’t you the least bit curious why Blair didn’t want you to know?”

Puzzled, Mrs. Garrett asked, “Why didn’t she want me to know, Jo?”

“The reason why Blair didn’t want you to know about her illness is because of the way you’re acting right now. Blair knew that the moment you found out, you would start sticking your nose into her private family business where it doesn’t belong, and she knew how much you would hurt her with your prejudice.”

“Prejudice?” said Mrs. Garrett, utterly shocked at what Jo just said.

“That’s right, Mrs. Garrett. Prejudice. Racial prejudice isn’t the only kind of prejudice in this world, you know. There’s also a very real and very widespread type of prejudice that is tolerated and accepted by the vast majority of parents and adults all over the world, and that’s prejudice against young people. And that type of prejudice is just as evil and just as wrong as racial prejudice is.”

Not believing what she was hearing, Mrs. Garret asked, “When have I ever shown any prejudice against young people? When have I ever shown any prejudice against you girls? If anything, I’ve done the exact opposite. I have always been very good to you girls, Jo, and you know it. I have always been there for you girls. Always. And might I remind you, it isn’t every adult who would sacrifice as much as I have to save all of you from getting expelled. It isn’t every adult who would devote ten months out of the year to raising four teenagers after she’s already raised two sons with little to no help from their father. It isn’t every adult who would take on so much extra responsibility without getting paid for it. It isn’t every adult who would sacrifice so much of her time and energy and privacy to do what I do for you girls every single day.”

“You want me to explain to you how you show prejudice against young people, Mrs. Garrett?” Jo asked.

“I certainly do,” Mrs. Garrett angrily replied, putting her hands on her hips.

“Alright, I will. Whenever any of us are having problems in our relationships with our parents, always, without fail, you take their side over ours, even when they do cruel things to us, abandon us, neglect us, and emotionally scar us for life with their betrayal. Whenever one of us does something wrong and disrespects a high and mighty parent or a high and mighty adult, we always have to face consequences for our behavior. But whenever our parents do evil things that shatter us on the inside, you always protect them from ever experiencing any real consequences for their behavior. And that’s prejudice, Mrs. Garrett. That is complete, utter, across-the-board prejudice.”

“Give me one example of me ever doing anything like that, Jo. Just one,” Mrs. Garrett challenged her.

“Gladly, Mrs. Garrett,” Jo responded. “Exhibit A: your atrocious attitude towards my dad, the man who abandoned me and betrayed me and did irreparable damage to me inside. When my dad came up to Eastland for the first time, you knew how I felt about him. You knew I didn’t want anything to do with him. You knew I didn’t want to take the risk of trusting him again after he abandoned me and betrayed me. But you didn’t give a rip about what I wanted. And after my father cruelly abandoned me and broke my heart and shattered my trust, you had the audacity to take his side over mine, and you had the audacity to feel sorry for him after he put me through pure emotional hell. Blair overheard it that night, how you said to him, ‘I know you’ve been through a lot and Jo’s giving you a rough time.’ That creep abandoned me, Mrs. Garrett. He abandoned me! And you had the nerve and the gall to feel sorry for him and tell him that he was the one who’s been through a lot and I was giving him a rough time because, understandably, I wasn’t ready to let him back into my life and trust him with my heart again. If you didn’t harbor prejudice, great prejudice, in your heart against young people, you never would have taken that attitude. You never would have felt sorry for an emotionally abusive parent like Charlie Polniaczek. And abandonment is abuse, Mrs. Garrett. Emotional abuse. And it’s high time you realized that. It’s both emotional abuse and neglect. And if you truly believed, way deep down in your soul, that I have just as much worth as any parent or adult, that I matter just as much as any parent or adult, you would never have harbored sympathy in your heart for an abusive and neglectful parent like Charlie Polniaczek. You would have only had sympathy and compassion for me and my broken, devastated heart, NOT for my abuser. If you had respected my wishes and my boundaries and butted the heck out, then my dad would’ve had to experience consequences for his evil, abusive behavior towards me by losing the privilege – the privilege, Mrs. Garrett, not the right – of having a relationship with me. He would not have been able to get away with all the emotional hell he put me through over the years. He would not have gotten off scot-free. But thanks to you, he did get off scot-free. You manipulated us into having a relationship with each other even though you clearly knew I didn’t want that, and by doing so, you completely shielded him from any real consequences for his selfishness and his cruelty and his abuse. Now, thanks to you, he gets to go out and live his life however he wants to, and he only has to come to Peekskill to visit me once in a blue moon, and just by doing that tiny little bit, he gets to pat himself on the back and think to himself that he’s such a good father, while I have to pretend that everything is hunky-dory between us in order to keep both of you off my back. And who is it, to this very day, that still has to silently suffer the agonizing pain of her father’s betrayal? IT CERTAINLY ISN’T HIM! IT’S ME! All the while, he gets to live carefree, without having to give all of my inner agony one single thought. Tell me, Mrs. Garrett. Is that the behavior of a person who doesn’t have a heart filled with prejudice against young people? You’ve always been all for the idea of giving the girls and me consequences whenever we do something wrong, but whenever our parents do anything to hurt us, you never fail to side with them over us, and you never fail to ensure that they are completely protected from ever experiencing any consequences for the pain they’ve caused us.

“Exhibit B: Parents’ Night. When Mrs. Warner visited Eastland on Parents’ Night during your first year here, she almost started up an affair with the father of one of the students, who happened to be a married man. While you certainly have no problem calling us out whenever we mess up, you didn’t support Blair at all when Mrs. Warner deeply hurt her and embarrassed her and she needed to call her out. Instead of holding Mrs. Warner accountable and lecturing her for being selfish and breaking Blair’s heart, it was Blair who got the lecture from you instead. The lecture that basically told Blair in a nutshell to just accept Mrs. Warner’s hurtful behavior, although we all know there isn’t a snowflake’s chance in hell that you would ever accept such hurtful behavior from us. The lecture you gave to Blair after Mrs. Warner hit her, I might add. Which was an act of physical abuse. That is yet another example of you protecting parents from ever experiencing any consequences for hurting their kids. Again, I ask: is that the behavior of someone who doesn’t have a heart full of prejudice against young people?

“Exhibit C: your true feelings towards me. Ever since I first came to Eastland, you’ve always lectured me about how I shouldn’t run away from painful situations, especially when I found out that Gail was dying. And I’ve always known, I’ve sensed it all along, that way deep down, you look down on me when I run away from things. I’ve always sensed it that there was a part of you that was always thinking, ‘I’m so much better than Jo because I don’t run away from my problems like she does!’ But you completely fail to take into account how many people I’ve already lost in my young life, and just how much agony, pure agony, my father has caused me inside with his abandonment and betrayal and emotional abuse. Having to grow up with the knowledge, the devastating knowledge, that one of your own parents doesn’t love you, is a level of agony you can’t even begin to comprehend. All you have ever known is warmth, security, and unconditional love from both of your parents. You have no clue at all what it’s really like to have to live with such an insane level of pain inside you every single day of your life. If you did, you would understand that I don’t run away from painful things because I’m a coward or because I’m a person who deserves to be looked down upon. I run away because I am in pure agony every day of my life, and sometimes, I have to run away to protect myself from even more agony in order to keep myself sane. If you truly saw me as a person with the same amount of worth and value as a parent has in your eyes, you wouldn’t overlook my agony and brush it aside and act like it’s no big deal, and you definitely wouldn’t look down on me for it. If I truly had equal worth in your eyes, Mrs. Garrett, you would empathize with me, not look down on me and think you’re so much better than I am when you haven’t experienced anywhere near the level of agony that I face inside every single day.  

“Exhibit D: all those things you just said. You said that the fact that you ‘sacrificed’ so many things to keep us from getting expelled three years ago proves that you don’t have a problem with prejudice against young people. You go on about how much time and energy and privacy you’ve ‘sacrificed’ to take care of us, without getting paid to do it. But those things do not prove your case, Mrs. Garrett. If anything, they prove mine. Because if you truly respected us as human beings with equal value to your own, you would not consider it a sacrifice to be our guardian here at Eastland, and you would not want a bunch of butt-kissing and ego-stroking for it, which is clearly what you were fishing for when you made those statements just now. If you truly believed that we have just as much value as you have, and if you didn’t have at least a small part of you inside that looked down on us and saw us as lesser beings because our ages are a lower number than yours, then the whole idea that it’s such a big ‘sacrifice’ to be our guardian would never have entered your mind in the first place. Shall I go on, Mrs. Garrett? Because if you want, I can go all the way down the alphabet.”

“No, Jo. No,” Mr. Bradley responded. “I do believe you have more than made your point, and you’ve made it with razor-sharp clarity.”

“I hope so. Because there’s something else I need you to understand, Mrs. Garrett, and that’s this: the instant the Warners decided to abandon Blair, they committed the worst, most heinous act of emotional abuse possible. And the last thing Blair wants is to have to spend her last moments with the two people who have emotionally abused her and disrespected her the most. Blair has made it crystal clear that she does not want you meddling in this, Mrs. Garrett. She does not want you trying to manipulate them into changing their minds and being there with her at her deathbed. Because to Blair, having someone present at her deathbed who had to be manipulated into being there by someone else, who never truly wanted to be by her side to begin with, would not be a help or a comfort to her. Instead, it would be the greatest possible insult. The ultimate slap in her face during her final moments on this earth. So for heaven’s sake, Mrs. Garrett, for Blair’s sake, if you truly care about her at all, then for once in your life, butt out. Just butt out. Respect Blair’s personal boundaries. Respect Blair’s feelings more than you do your own. Your perspective is not the only one that’s valid, you know. When it comes to the issue of how her parents and my parents have treated us, you’ve always arrogantly and blindly believed that your perspective was the only one that was valid. The only one that truly mattered. But it’s not. Blair’s perspective is just as valid as yours is, and it matters just as much as yours does. As a matter of fact, in a situation like this, I would even dare to say that Blair’s perspective is the only one that truly matters right now. Not yours. Not mine. Not anybody else’s.”

After several long moments of silence and tension, Mrs. Garrett, now fighting off tears and visibly offended, said to Jo, “Don’t worry, Jo. You can rest assured that me butting into your life is something I will never, ever do again. Since you seem to think that I do such a terrible job around here, I won’t ever bother you with my invalid perspective again. Never, ever again.”

And with that, Mrs. Garrett walked through the cafeteria into the kitchen, and up the stairs into her bedroom, and she laid down on her bed and just allowed all the sobs she’d been holding back to come to the surface. Meanwhile, Mr. Bradley, Jo, Natalie, and Tootie became as still as statues down in the cafeteria, all of them just staring out into space in utterly shocked silence.

Chapter Text

A/N: See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.

Chapter 8: Hubris

About two hours later, at four o’clock that afternoon, Blair awakened from her nap and changed out of her pajamas into a long-sleeved yellow blouse – the same blouse her emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend, Chad, had criticized her for wearing – and a long black shirt, with her makeup done to perfection. And her long, wavy, beautiful blonde hair cascaded past her shoulders – another thing Chad had criticized, insinuating that she should cut it all off since short hair was supposedly “in.” And as soon as she came down the stairs and into the cafeteria, she was very surprised, to say the least, to find her egg donor, her Aunt Francesca, and her cousin Geri sitting together at one of the tables, waiting for her. Mrs. Garrett was sitting at the table next to theirs with Natalie and Tootie, both of whom were still in their Eastland uniforms, and Mr. Bradley was standing beside Jo nearby, who was also still in her school uniform.

“Aunt Francesca, Geri, what are you guys doing up here?” Blair inquired. “What’s going on?”

Geri was wearing a blue shirt and jeans, and her mother Francesca was wearing a long burgundy dress with short sleeves while Monica wore a long black dress with short sleeves. And even though they all looked very pretty that day, all three of their faces were filled with tension, and Francesca and especially Monica appeared to be almost ten years older than they actually were.

Francesca got up then, and she walked over to her young niece, put a loving hand on her shoulder, and told her, “Blair, Geri and I know everything. We know what’s going on. We know how sick you are.”

“How did you find out? Did someone from the school call you or something?”

Francesca shook her head and replied, “No, darling. No one called. I went out for lunch the other day with the wife of one of your father’s colleagues, and she told me about it.”

“I see,” Blair said quietly.

“Blair, sweetie, the reason we’re all here is because – after way too much stalling from Monica today – I finally got her out of her apartment and got her to come up here with us to see you,” said Francesca while shooting daggers of pure fire at her younger sister with her eyes. “Monica,” she said as her eyes practically burned holes into her sister’s skin, “don’t you have something to say to Blair?”

After what felt like a lifetime of very tense silence, with Monica purposely looking away from Blair and crying, unable to face her, she reluctantly turned her gaze towards Blair, sensing it from Francesca that if she didn’t, there would be pure hell to pay later on.

At long last, Monica said through her tears, “I know what everybody in this room expects me to say. I know you all expect me to beg Blair for her forgiveness and promise her that I’ll be there for her in her greatest hour of need. But I can’t do that. I simply can’t do that. I know you all think I don’t love Blair, but I do love her. I love all her beauty. All her style. Her fashion sense. Her elegance. Her class. Her charm. Her poise in our high-society world. She’s everything a mother could ever want in a daughter. And even though it’s selfish, I can’t help it. I just can’t bear to stand by and watch her lose all her beauty and charm more and more with each passing day. I just can’t bear to stand by and watch my daughter, my perfect little baby, go from being my beautiful princess to being a weak, frail, pale, sick, dying cancer patient. I just can’t bear it.”

In that moment, with her furious gaze still burning holes into Monica’s psyche, Francesca looked down into Monica’s face and gasped, “Dear Lord. I never once imagined that you had it in you, Monica, to be so cruel and so vile, but you really are cruel and vile. In all these years that you’ve been blessed by God to get to have this priceless young lady in your life, you’ve never once looked on her as a human being. Dear Lord, you don’t even see your own daughter as human! All Blair’s life, all she’s ever been to you is a pretty little doll for you to dress up and show off to others whenever you were in the mood to do so. You don’t even understand that Blair is not some doll or toy that solely exists for your selfish amusement. She’s a human being for heaven’s sake! She’s a person! And people aren’t toys, Monica! People aren’t just pretty, cute, expensive little dolls for you to play with! People aren’t always pretty. People aren’t always poised. People aren’t always in the mood to be the perfect little high-society debutante or the perfect little high-society gentleman. People aren’t always princes and princesses every minute of the day. People have lives and problems of their own. People have bad days and get in bad moods. People get sick. People die.”

Monica rose from her seat then, and she yelled, “Oh, for once in your life, Francesca, will you stop being so self-righteous?! Do you honestly believe that you and I were anything more than dolls and toys to our parents?! That’s simply the way it works in our world! We don’t have children, we don’t bring them into this world, for their sake. We do it for ours! We do it to leave a legacy. We do it to have someone to inherit all our wealth and power after we’re gone. We do it to enhance our own image in the business world and in high-society. We do it to look good to others. And considering all the wealth, power, and prestige our parents left behind to us, I think they had every right to think of us as their toys, and I think they had every right to use us to give themselves a good reputation as a family man and a family woman in this world.

“Now I know that when it comes to motherhood, I am far from perfect. And maybe it wasn’t the kindest or most loving thing for me to do to ship Blair off to Eastland and allow a boarding school to do all the hard work of raising her for me. But still, I have been very good to Blair all her life, and she knows it,” said Monica as yet another invisible knife plunged into Mrs. Garrett’s chest, who was now recalling how she’d said almost the very same words to Jo verbatim earlier that day. “I sacrificed my body and my health and my comfort when I carried her for nine long months,” Monica continued. “And even though my wealth ensured that I would receive the best medical care possible during childbirth, I still could have died giving birth to her. I took a chance on sacrificing my whole life to bring Blair into this world and give her life. And I have always given her everything she’s ever wanted. Always. Every day of her life, I have showered her with the best clothes, the best jewelry, the best houses, the best education, the best of everything that money can buy. So the way I see it, being my so-called ‘doll’ or ‘toy’  to show off to my friends at high-society balls, and to go on shopping sprees with, and to gossip with and to have fun with, is the least Blair can do in return, just like it was the least you and I could have done for our parents, Francesca. After risking so much for her and giving so much to her, the least she can do is stay healthy and live a long life and get married and give me grandchildren one day to continue our family’s great bloodline and legacy in this world.”

“Now you just wait one minute, Monica,” Francesca said very sternly as everyone else just stared at each other in pure disbelief at the words that had just come out of Monica Warner’s mouth. “What exactly are you saying, here?” Francesca questioned. “Are you actually trying to say that it’s Blair’s fault that she got cancer? Are you actually trying to blame Blair of all people for her illness?”

“Oh, come off it, Francesca!” Monica shouted. “You’ve seen it just as much as I have the past couple of years, all the weight Blair has gained. She obviously hasn’t been eating as healthy as she should have been. And with all the additives and chemicals and crazy ingredients they put in junk food, it wouldn’t be surprising if that was what caused all of this.”

Appalled and disgusted, Geri immediately rose from her seat, looked right into her aunt’s eyes, and yelled, “AUNT MONICA, ARE YOU REALLY THAT STUPID?! BLAIR DIDN’T CAUSE HER CANCER ANY MORE THAN I CAUSED MY C.P.!”

In that moment, Blair got a very sharp pain in her chest, and she held her chest and doubled over while Mrs. Garrett, Mr. Bradley, Natalie, Tootie, and Jo rushed to her side.

“Blair,” Mrs. Garrett whispered while putting one hand on her left shoulder and the other hand on her left forearm. “Baby girl, you need to sit down. Come on. Over here,” she said gently, leading her over to the chair she’d just been sitting in. After Blair sat down, Mrs. Garrett looked over at Jo and asked, “Jo, do you know where her pills are?”

“Yeah. She put ’em on the nightstand next to her bed,” Jo replied.

“Go get them and bring them here. Natalie, go get Blair a glass of water. Or would you prefer some orange juice, Blair?” Mrs. Garrett asked.

“I’d prefer juice,” Blair replied.

“Get her some orange juice, Natalie,” Mrs. Garrett told her.

“Sure thing,” Natalie responded, and then, both she and Jo walked out of the cafeteria, while Tootie came over to Blair and put a loving hand on her right shoulder. A moment later, Mrs. Garrett put her hand on Blair’s left shoulder, and both Mrs. Garrett and Tootie lovingly gazed into Blair’s eyes, trying their best to give her some silent reassurance now.

A couple of minutes later, Jo and Natalie came back with the pills and the orange juice, and Blair took one of her morphine tablets.

Afterwards, Mrs. Garrett approached Monica with her hands on her hips, absolute white fury and rage coursing through her veins. The greatest and most powerful anger she’d ever felt in over five decades of life.

“You know, Monica, when I first found out today about Blair’s illness, my first reaction was to want to contact you and your ex-husband so I could try and talk some sense into both of you and get you to be there for Blair through this. I felt sorry for the two of you, because I’m a mother myself, and I can’t even begin to imagine just how agonizing the pain would be for me if anything like this ever happened to one of my sons. But now that I’ve listened to all of the vile and disgusting things that have come out of your mouth today, I’ve come to the most disturbing and horrific realization. And that disturbing and horrific realization is this: I’m almost as disgusting as you are,” she painfully admitted, and then she brought her hands down to her sides.

“Earlier today,” Mrs. Garrett continued, “Jo had some very interesting things to tell me about myself. She went on this whole tirade about how I had so much prejudice in my heart against young people and how my prejudice only enabled abusive parents like her father…and like you and your ex-husband. When the two of you decided to ship Blair off to Eastland for nine to ten months out of the year, when the two of you chose to barely be in her life at all, you abandoned her. And Jo said to me earlier today that abandonment is emotional abuse, and she was absolutely right. Through your absence, both you and your ex-husband have been emotionally abusing your daughter for years. And by always taking yours and your ex-husband’s and Mr. Polniaczek’s side over Blair’s and Jo’s side all this time, rather than confronting all of you about it and challenging you about it, I’ve actually been enabling all your abuse.

“After Jo’s speech to me today, I got all hurt, angry, and offended, I got my underwear all in a bunch, because she bruised my ego and she called me out on all of my prejudice against young people and all of my abuse enabling. I was so offended because Jo had the gumption to get in my face and tell me the cold, hard truth about myself. I was so offended because she refused to be a good little girl and stay in her proper place and keep her mouth shut to protect my ego, like we adults automatically think that young people are supposed to do. And I’ve been upstairs in my room, crying and having a great big pity party for myself, for much of the day. I’ve been feeling so sorry for myself, and I’ve been telling myself that Jo was wrong to speak to me that way, that she was disrespectful, that she was ungrateful for everything I’d done for her. I’ve been taking the horribly immature and disgusting attitude that I would never speak to Jo again, since she apparently thought I did such a terrible job around here and was, supposedly, so ‘ungrateful.’ But after hearing the cruel way you’ve just spoken to Blair, after seeing for myself how unbelievably selfish you’ve been, saying some of the very same things that I’d said to Jo earlier today, I see the truth, and the truth is absolutely horrifying. The truth is, I’m not any less selfish than you are, Monica. This whole afternoon, on the very day that I find out that Blair is dying, I lock myself in my room and I cry my eyes out, and not for Blair. Not because I’m concerned about her or because I’m so heartbroken to learn of her diagnosis. Or at least, not entirely for those reasons. No. To my great shame, much of the reason for all my tears is not because Blair is hurting and suffering, but because Jo wounded my pride and refused to cater to my ego. Because Jo had the strength and the guts and the integrity and the wisdom to hold a mirror up to my face and show me the ugliest parts of myself. Parts of myself that badly need to change. Parts of myself that are going to start changing right here and now.

“Blair is sick, and she is hurting, and she is dying, and all along, you’ve just twisted everything and made this whole thing all about you. You have utterly refused to look past yourself and your own feelings. And so have I. And it’s high time we both recognized the fact that this is not about us. This is about Blair. This is about doing everything in our power to make this hellish burden she’s carrying as easy for her to bear as possible. And if I’m going to really start helping Blair with this terrible, agonizing burden she’s carrying, then I’m going to have to do something that I always swore to myself that I would never, ever do. All these years that I’ve worked here at Eastland, I always promised myself that I would always remain respectful of the girls’ relationships with their parents. That I would never try to take the place of their mothers. That I would never cross that line. But now that my eyes have finally been opened, now that I finally understand just how emotionally abusive and selfish and cruel you truly are, I know that Blair’s never had a mother in you. Not a real mother, anyway. And Blair is in a situation where she needs a mama more than she’s ever needed one before. So as of this moment, I am taking over, and I am going to do the job that you have always refused to do. As of this moment, I am taking Blair into my heart and into my life as my own daughter. I am crossing that line,” said Mrs. Garrett as her eyes locked with Blair’s for one long moment. Then, turning her gaze back to Monica, she said, “Because that’s what love does, Monica. Love crosses lines. Love crosses lines when it’s necessary to give a hurting person what they need.”

“YOU CAN’T DO THAT! BLAIR IS MY CHILD!” Monica raged.

Then, with her hands back on her hips, Mrs. Garrett looked right into Monica’s eyes and told her, “Blair may be your offspring, BUT SHE’S MY CHILD! And there’s a difference between the two. Yes, biologically, Blair is your offspring. You donated half the DNA needed to create Blair, and you carried Blair, and you gave birth to Blair. I’ll give you that. But every time that Blair has ever needed someone over the past four years, I was the one who was there for her, not you. I was the one who sewed every button. I was the one who dried every tear. I was the one who kept every secret. I was the one who listened to every problem. I was the one who was there for every Fine Arts Festival and every school debate. I was the one who loved her and took care of her while you were off traveling on the other side of the world, doing whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted, all the while claiming the title of ‘Mother’ without lifting a finger to truly earn it. And I let you get away with all of that in the past. I even enabled you and made it easier for you to continue treating Blair more like a toy than like a person by never challenging you on it. But no more. This ends right now, Monica. RIGHT NOW. Get out.”

“I beg your pardon!” Monica fussed.

“You heard me the first time, Monica. GET OUT. All of the terrible and disgusting things you have said here today have really hurt Blair, not just emotionally, but physically. And I will not have that. As of this moment, you are NOT welcome on this campus anymore. Leave. Get out of here, and don’t even THINK of coming back.”

“Mrs. Garrett speaks for both of us, Mrs. Warner,” Mr. Bradley told her. “You’ve upset Blair more than enough for one day. Get out.”

In the next moment, Blair looked at Monica for what she knew would be the last time, and she simply said, “Goodbye, Monica.”

Monica then turned around and stormed out of the cafeteria in a big huff, while everyone else gathered around Blair. Geri and Francesca returned to their seats, and Mrs. Garrett grabbed a chair and pulled it up on front of Blair and sat down while everyone else stood nearby.

“Good grief!” Blair sighed. “Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse, she had to show up.”

“Don’t think about her right now, honey,” Mrs. Garrett whispered, putting her hand on top of Blair’s and maintaining eye contact with her. “I know it’s hard, but try to put it all out of your mind completely.”

“Yeah, don’t let her upset you, Blair,” said Jo. “She’s not worth it any more than that creep Margo is.”

“That’s true,” Natalie agreed.

“How are you feeling now, sweetheart? How’s the pain?” Mrs. Garrett asked softly.

“It’s a little better now. It’s passing,” Blair replied.

“Good,” said Mrs. Garrett while giving Blair’s hand an affectionate squeeze.

“Well if, God forbid, that pain starts to get any worse, you let us know immediately,” Mr. Bradley told her.

“I will,” Blair assured him. “But I think I’ll be okay, now that both Margo and Monica have left Eastland for good.”

“Yeah. Those are two people I know I certainly won’t miss seein’ around here,” said Jo.

“Me neither,” Tootie agreed.

“Neither will I,” said Natalie.

“I don’t think those two will be winning any popularity contests around here anytime soon,” said Mr. Bradley.

“No kidding,” Francesca said with a frustrated sigh. (Mr. Bradley and Mrs. Garrett had already explained everything to Francesca and Geri earlier about what Margo had done, so they knew what the others were talking about when they mentioned Margo.) “I still can’t believe all the terrible things my sister said. Monica’s always been spoiled and self-centered, but I have never seen her act like this before. I really didn’t know that she could be this cruel. And now that I’ve seen her for who she truly is, I am appalled at the fact that I am her sister. I am so embarrassed to be related to her. I’m embarrassed that I even know her.”

“Take a number, Mrs. T.,” Jo told her. “I believe it’s safe to say that every person in this room is embarrassed to know her.”

“I’m not only embarrassed to know her. I’m embarrassed, so embarrassed, that there actually was a part of me that was like her,” said Mrs. Garrett. “Until you held that mirror up in my face today, Jo, and forced me to take a good, hard look at myself, I had no clue just how prejudiced and arrogant I actually was. I really have displayed terrible prejudice against you girls over the years, without even realizing it. I’ve always protected your parents from facing consequences for it when they did things that hurt you, all the while making sure that you girls received consequences for it whenever you did anything wrong. A complete and utter double standard. That isn’t right. I see that now. And I’m also beginning to see it that there really have been times when I’ve acted as though my perspective was the only one that could possibly be valid. As though the perspectives you girls had couldn’t possibly be right when they differed from the perspectives of your parents and me. Just because your ages are a lower number than ours. And because I blindly believed, thanks to all my prejudice, that my perspective was automatically valid and your perspectives automatically weren’t, I refused to respect your privacy and your boundaries in your relationships with your parents, and I insisted on sticking my nose into your private family affairs where it didn’t belong. And in the process, I even enabled your parents and made it easier for them to emotionally abuse you. Lord knows how much I enabled your father’s emotional abuse and neglect and selfishness and immaturity and irresponsibility, Jo. And when I refused to support you, Blair, when you needed to call Monica out on her horrendous behavior on Parents’ Night, I enabled her abuse as well. I even allowed her to hit you without saying one single word to her about it. And after that, I even had the pure gall to lecture you about it instead of Monica.

“And I came within an inch of making that same mistake this afternoon, and I can’t thank Jesus enough that you stepped in, Jo, and stopped me. As soon as I found out about your illness, Blair, I came within an inch of trying to track down the Warners so I could convince them to change their minds and be with you in the end. And I didn’t even bother to ask you if that was what you wanted. It never once dawned on me what a terrible insult it might actually be to you to try to make you spend your last moments with your abusers. And that isn’t mere arrogance. That’s hubris. Absolute hubris,” she said in an emotional whisper.

And in the next moment, she looked over at Jo and told her, “Oh Jo, I just want you to know that I am so, so grateful to you for what you did today. I thank you with all my heart for having the guts to stand up to me and tell me what I needed to hear instead of what I wanted to hear. As it says in the book of Proverbs, the wounds of a friend are faithful, while an enemy multiplies kisses. It took a real friend to tell me what you told me today, and I thank you for it. I really do.

“Most importantly, I want you and Blair to know that I see it now, everything I’ve done and how very much all of my prejudice has hurt you both. I see it now how I really did side with your cruel and emotionally abusive parents over you whenever they did things that hurt you. I see now how I protected them from experiencing consequences for their evil behavior all the while giving you girls consequences whenever you misbehaved. I see all the hubris and hypocrisy and prejudice and double standards I’ve displayed. And I want you to know that even though I did do such terrible things, I honestly had no idea that I was hurting you and disrespecting you. And I honestly did not realize, even though I darned well should have, that what they were putting you through was a form of abuse. I did not understand, I did not realize, how I enabled their selfishness and their emotional abuse all this time. I just didn’t see it. Not until now. And the last thing on God’s green earth that I ever meant to do was to hurt you girls and make it easier for your parents to emotionally abuse you. If nothing else, girls, the two of you have to believe that,” Mrs. Garrett gasped as silent tears came to her eyes.

“We do believe it, Mrs. Garrett,” Blair reassured her.

“Yeah, Mrs. G. We know you would never do anything to hurt us on purpose,” Jo agreed.

“But I did hurt you. I did disrespect you. Horribly. And I want you both to know that I’m sorry. I am so, so very sorry for what I’ve done. I am so very sorry that I only made it easier for your parents to emotionally abuse you. That I never held them accountable for their hurtful behavior like I should have,” Mrs. Garrett gasped as streams of silent tears fell down her cheeks. And both Blair and Jo put their arms around her and just silently hugged her for the longest time.

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Mrs. Garrett,” Blair said softly. “It only matters that you’ve admitted it and that you’ve changed.”

“That’s right,” Jo agreed.

The embrace continued quietly for several long moments, and then they all wiped their eyes, and Mrs. Garrett regained her composure.

Once the embrace finally ended, Mrs. Garrett said, “Okay, it is high time that I stopped going on and on about me.” She then reached out and took Blair’s hand and looked into her eyes, and she asked, “Blair, sweetheart, how are you feeling? Not just physically, but emotionally. Is there anything, anything at all, that I can do for you right now, love?”

“Well today certainly hasn’t been easy,” Blair replied. “But thanks to all of you, especially you, Mrs. Garrett, I’m starting to feel a little better.”

“I’m glad to hear that, darling,” Francesca told her.

“So am I,” Geri agreed.

“Oh Blair, sweetie,” said Francesca as she reached across the table and took Blair’s other hand, “why didn’t you tell us? Why would you keep something like this a secret from us?”

“Because you and Geri already have so much to deal with. You both have a lot on your plate, especially since Uncle Jerry’s terrible accident five years ago.”

“What accident?” asked Tootie.

“Is it alright if I tell them, Aunt Francesca?” Blair asked, and she responded with a nod. “The year before you first came to Eastland, Tootie, my Uncle Jerry, Geri’s father whom she’s named after, was on a ladder, painting the ceiling of their living room. Uncle Jerry and Aunt Francesca were redecorating their house. And he accidentally fell off the ladder and hit his head very hard. The accident caused severe brain damage, and to this day, he’s in what the doctors call a vegetative state. He’s in a coma to this day. His doctors tried to convince Aunt Francesca to have him put in a nursing home so that he could receive the round-the-clock care he needed, but she refused. She brought him home and hired a nurse and a physical therapist to help her take care of him, keep his muscles moving and active so they don’t atrophy, keeping him hydrated through an I.V., things like that. She’s been taking care of him at home ever since.”

“That’s awful,” Tootie said sadly.

“Oh, Mrs. Tyler, Geri, I’m so sorry,” Mrs. Garrett said softly.

“So am I. That’s terrible,” Natalie chimed in.

“It certainly is,” Mr. Bradley agreed. “I’m terribly sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” said Tootie.

“Thank you,” Francesca said quietly.

“Anyway, that’s why I didn’t want you and Geri to know. That’s why I wanted to protect you guys from this for as long as possible. Geri, you go through so much every single day with your C.P. And Aunt Francesca, you go through just as much taking care of Uncle Jerry day in and day out. I wasn’t about to add to all the burdens you two are already carrying.”

“But what you, Blair? What about all the burdens you’re carrying right now?” Francesca asked.

“Yeah, Blair. You have to think about yourself too,” Geri agreed.

“Blair, I will not have you spending your final days with some nurse hired by David and Monica to take care of you. Some stranger you don’t even know,” Francesca told her.

“Oh, you don’t need to worry about that, Mrs. Tyler,” Mrs. Garrett assured her. “In fact, that’s the last thing you and Geri need to worry about, because I’m a registered nurse. And I will personally see to it that all of Blair’s needs, both her emotional needs and her medical needs, are met. I’ll be right by her side, every step of the way.”

Francesca then locked her eyes with Mrs. Garrett’s and asked her, “Do I have your word?”

“Absolutely,” Mrs. Garrett replied.

“I’m going to hold you to that,” Francesca told her.

“Don’t worry, Mrs. T. There’s nobody you can trust more than Mrs. Garrett,” Jo reassured her.

“I know you and I have only first met, Mrs. Tyler, but just for the record, you can trust me too,” said Mr. Bradley. “You can trust all of us.”

“That’s right,” Mrs. Garrett concurred. “Mr. and Mrs. Warner may be abandoning Blair, but we never will. We’re really a family up here. We’ve known each other and loved each other for years. And here at Eastland, we take care of our family. We take care of each other. We’re there for each other. We always have been, and we always will be.”

“That’s right,” Jo agreed while Mrs. Garrett squeezed Blair’s hand.

“If you guys don’t mind, do you think we can continue this conversation sometime later?” Blair asked.

“You getting tired again?” Jo inquired.

“Yeah, I think that morphine tablet I took is starting to kick in. I’m feeling pretty sleepy,” Blair admitted.

“Of course, dear,” said Francesca, and then they all rose from their seats. In the next moment, Francesca and Geri gave Blair the biggest, longest hug. “We love you, Blair,” Francesca whispered through her tears. “We both love you so much.”

“I know,” Blair said softly. “I love you guys, too.”

Then, the embrace ended, and Geri told Blair, “I know you have Mrs. Garrett and everybody here at Eastland, but you know you can always call us anytime you need anything.”

“Yes, Blair,” Francesca concurred. “You can call us anytime. Any time at all. Day or night.”

“I know,” Blair whispered.

And after they all gave each other one last hug, Geri and Francesca left. Mrs. Garrett then helped Blair up the stairs to the girls’ bedroom so she could lie down again and get some more rest.

Chapter Text

A/N: See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.

Chapter 9: Taking the Reins

Blair was so exhausted from the events of that day that she slept for the rest of the day and all the way through the night. And while she was upstairs asleep that evening, Mr. Bradley returned to the cafeteria at a quarter to seven, when Mrs. Garrett, Jo, Natalie, and Tootie had finished cleaning up after supper. Right after they had finished all their chores for the day, Natalie and Tootie left to take a walk through the campus and clear their heads, and when Mr. Bradley arrived, he found Mrs. Garrett sitting at one of the tables in the cafeteria with Jo, still looking as though she’d been punched in the gut.

“I still can’t believe it,” Mrs. Garrett said solemnly as Mr. Bradley walked up to their table. “I still can’t believe that this is happening.”

Mr. Bradley then sat down at the table with them.

“I know. It feels like we’re in The Twilight Zone,” Jo agreed.

“She’s so very young. How, how could this be happening to her?” Mrs. Garrett gasped. “How could we be losing her like this?”

“I’ve asked myself those same questions so many times the past couple of months,” said Mr. Bradley.

“I know I gave you a lot of grief earlier today about you butting in too much, Mrs. G., but I’m so glad you decided to butt in and cross the line and become Blair’s mother, because she sure does need one now,” Jo told Mrs. Garrett truthfully.

Mrs. Garrett shook her head and said, “You were right to call me out on being such a buttinski, Jo. Because there’s a right way to interfere in a situation, and a wrong way to interfere. And when I refused to respect your privacy and your boundaries in your relationship with Mr. Polniaczek, when I butted in and interfered, I did it in the worst possible way. I did it in a way that enabled him to continue emotionally abusing you with his abandonment. I did it in a way that made it easier for him to avoid and escape all accountability for everything he put you through with all of his selfishness and immaturity. And I very nearly made that same mistake with Blair. And if I had, I would have done unspeakable harm. Whereas with the whole issue of me becoming Blair’s mother, I was right to butt in and interfere, because if I hadn’t, Blair would’ve had to face this harrowing ordeal without a mother to help her through it, which also would have done unspeakable harm. And it only would’ve made it possible for Monica Warner to get away with abandoning Blair without having to face any form of accountability or consequences for her evil behavior at all. At least now, she has to live with the fact that she’s officially been stripped of her title of ‘Mother,’ and she also has to live with the knowledge that Blair now wants nothing to do with her.”

“That’s true,” Jo agreed.

“I’m just so ashamed of myself, all this time that I’ve stuck up for so many parents, giving you and Blair and several other Eastland students the lame, tired old excuse of how your parents only sent you to Eastland to give you a good education. It’s a complete load of garbage, and deep down, I always knew that. I just didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want to face the cold, hard, cruel fact that there are a lot of students here at this school whose parents honestly care little to nothing about them at all. There are students here like Kimberly Drummond, who go to school at Eastland during the day and go home to their parents in the evening. And there are students here like Natalie and Tootie, who do live at Eastland full-time, yet still have loving parents who foster healthy relationships with them, who remain in frequent contact with them and still choose to remain as involved in their lives as they can be, even though it is from a distance. But all these years that I’ve worked here, I’ve always willfully turned a blind eye to the painful fact that most of the students who live here have parents like Blair’s, who only sent them here because they were selfish and they didn’t want to roll up their sleeves and do the hard work of raising them.

“I never will forget that time, around a year and a half ago, when we all thought that Mrs. Warner had cancer. At the time, I really believed that the advice I was giving Blair – the unsolicited advice that she never asked me for, that is – was good and sound advice. I really believed I was doing the right thing by pushing her to be there for Mrs. Warner, all the while I was willfully ignoring the fact that I knew that all through Blair’s childhood, she’d always been their parent and their therapist while they’d always been the children. Even from the earliest of ages, Blair was having to listen to their problems, comfort them, be their shoulder to cry on, be their mediator during all their fights, while they were almost never there for her. So when I was pushing Blair to be there for her egg donor when we thought she was seriously ill, while simultaneously ignoring the fact that she’d never been there for Blair as a parent, what message was I really sending to Blair deep down? What was I really telling her? I was telling her that I thought it was perfectly okay and acceptable for her relationships with her DNA donors to be a one-way street working against her, at the expense of her psychological well-being. That’s what I was telling her. Yet again, I only made it easier for Blair’s DNA donors to avoid any and all accountability for their emotional abuse and abandonment and neglect. I’m so ashamed of myself that it took me all this time, plus a good, hard kick in the pants from you, Jo, to get me to see these ugly, prejudiced parts of myself that actually enabled abuse in your lives.”

“Unfortunately, Mrs. G., you are right about everything you just said,” Jo agreed. “However, Blair and I have talked about her egg donor’s cancer scare before. And even though you should have thought to tell Blair back then that you knew how wrong it was that Monica was never there for her, Blair doesn’t hold your unsolicited advice against you. Yes, it did hurt Blair that you seemed to be all too happy to ignore the fact that she’d always been the parent psychologically while they’d always been the children. But at the same time, she’s admitted it to me that she knows that if she had taken that opportunity to abandon Monica out of revenge, she would’ve lost her self-respect. Blair does want to hold her disgusting DNA donors accountable for all their selfishness and emotional abuse and abandonment and neglect, and rightfully so, but she has no desire for vengeance. Obviously, Blair is enraged at the way the Warners have stabbed her in the back in her greatest hour of need, and she has every right to be, but no matter how enraged she is, she doesn’t want to seek personal vengeance on them for all the pain they’ve caused her. Blair’s desire to keep them out of her life isn’t because she wants to take revenge on them. Well, maybe it was in the beginning, before she came to faith in Christ a few weeks ago, but not anymore. She wants to keep them out of her life because just their mere presence alone would cause her so much pain. Agony, even. And because that wounded little child she’s got living inside of her desperately needs to be heard and respected, and she desperately needs to see someone take some kind of measure to hold them accountable for all the selfish and evil things they’ve done to her. That little child’s need for respect is a need that’s just as vital to her spirit as her body’s need is for oxygen.”

“And respect is exactly what that priceless little girl is going to start getting,” said Mrs. Garrett. “I’ve always respected Blair, of course. I’ve always respected all you girls. But I realize it now that by enabling yours and Blair’s abusers all this time, I haven’t given either her or you anywhere near the level of respect you two have always needed and deserved from me. And that’s going to start changing right now.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Garrett,” Jo said softly, and Mrs. Garrett put her hand on top of Jo’s and gave it a loving squeeze.

“You know, now that I think about it, I believe that there are so many Christians out there who make the same mistake I did. The mistake of believing that if you cut off contact with someone, it’s a sign that you haven’t forgiven them and a sign that you aren’t loving them, as Jesus commanded us to do with our enemies. I realized this back when I decided to file for a divorce from my ex-husband, but I actually forgot this vital fact over the years, especially where you girls are concerned, mostly because of all my prejudice against young people. I actually forgot the vital fact that cutting ties with someone who is hardhearted and unrepentant and abusive does NOT mean that you’re being unforgiving. On the contrary, it means that you’re being wise. It means that you’re taking the necessary steps to protect yourself from further abuse. It means that you’re refusing to enable their sinful treatment of you any longer. More Christians badly need to wake up and smell the coffee and realize that forgiveness does not always come packaged with the restoration of a relationship. You can forgive someone who is cruel and abusive and selfish and unrepentant without accepting them back into your life again. You can forgive that person by choosing to pray for them every day, and you can forgive them by refusing to do anything to try and hurt them and take vengeance on them yourself, and by choosing to trust in God to exact His perfect vengeance on them for you. Those things are forms of forgiveness that can be given without restoring an unhealthy, abusive relationship. They’re forms of forgiveness that can be given without rewarding unrepentant abusers for their evil behavior against you. Forms of forgiveness that be given without shielding them from accountability for their decision to abuse you. Which is basically what the restoration of an abusive relationship, without the abuser’s true repentance, would be doing for them. And I so, so wish I’d never forgotten that. But I know that I will never forget that again as long as I live.”

“I don’t think any of us will,” said Mr. Bradley. “All my adult life, I’ve prided myself on being so highly educated. But I do believe I’ve learned more from Blair Warner over the past few weeks than I ever did in all my years of college put together. During my first year here at Eastland, when I met Blair and got to know her a little, yeah, I knew how snobby she could be, but like everyone else who really knows her, I always knew not to take all that too seriously. I always knew that underneath it all, she really does have a much bigger heart than she lets on. But when I returned to Eastland at the end of March, and I learned about Blair’s illness and I spoke with Blair about it, quite frankly, I was stunned at just how much depth and maturity she displayed. How remarkably courageous and wise she’d become. It was almost as if her diagnosis had forced her to go from eighteen to eighty overnight.

“But now that I think about it, I think it’s true that Blair always had great depth and maturity and wisdom in her soul. She didn’t openly show it most of the time, of course, but I think those qualities were probably in her all along. And given the way she grew up, I think it makes perfect sense that she ended up being so wise beyond her years. I would imagine that having to grow up being your own parents’ therapist and marriage counselor, without either one of them lifting a finger to parent you, would cause you to grow up far more quickly than you should ever have to.”

“I agree,” said Mrs. Garrett. “And that is both tragic and completely inexcusable on the Warners’ part.”

“Indeed it is,” Mr. Bradley concurred.

“You know, all this time that I’ve known Blair, yeah, I’ve always known that she has a good heart deep down underneath her spoiled princess act, but I honestly had no clue that Blair had it in her to be so gutsy and so strong,” said Jo. “The kind of courage that Blair has shown over these past few weeks…to be perfectly honest, I have never seen such courage in all my life. I have never seen such strength in all my life. And for a Bronx barbarian like me, that’s really sayin’ a lot.”

“I know it is,” Mrs. Garrett told Jo.

“As a matter of fact, Jo and I were telling Blair just yesterday when we took her to the doctor to stop being so strong all the time,” said Mr. Bradley. “And you really have no idea just how remarkably strong she’s been, Edna. We actually took her to see Dr. Green, Natalie’s father, because her doctor was on vacation and Dr. Green was filling in for him.”

“What did Dr. Green say?” Mrs. Garrett inquired.

“Brace yourself, Edna. It’s not good,” Mr. Bradley warned. “I’m sure you noticed that Blair wasn’t feeling well on the night of Natalie’s birthday dinner.”

“Yes, I did notice that,” said Mrs. Garrett.

“You know that the doctors have told Blair that because of her tumor, one or more heart attacks are basically inevitable,” said Mr. Bradley.

“Yes,” Mrs. Garrett said with dread.

“Well, as it turns out, Blair did suffer a heart attack, a massive heart attack, on Natalie’s birthday,” Mr. Bradley told her.

“What?” Mrs. Garrett gasped.

“Blair didn’t recognize her symptoms as being indicative of a heart attack because she didn’t experience any significant chest pain,” Mr. Bradley explained. “But according to Dr. Green, heart attacks can sometimes have symptoms that are far more subtle. Symptoms that you’d never think to associate with a heart attack, like nausea, vomiting, pain in the neck, pain in the jaw, pain in one or both arms. Blair did experience nausea, vomiting, and pain in her neck and arms, and I think she had some shortness of breath, but again, she never had any significant chest pain. That’s why she didn’t go to the hospital or go to see a doctor until yesterday. And according to Dr. Green, the heart attack that she suffered on Natalie’s birthday caused extensive damage to her heart. And now, she has even less time than we thought she would have. The doctors said at first that Blair had a year at best, but that she would most likely be gone within three to five months. We were expecting and hoping to have her with us at least until the end of June, possibly up to the end of August. But after that heart attack, now, Dr. Green is saying that Blair only has a few weeks left. She may not make it to graduation day. In fact, the tumor is putting such a strain on her heart that, according to Dr. Green, she could literally go into cardiac arrest at any given moment now.”

“Oh, God,” Edna responded in a deep, shaky voice as her eyes filled with tears.

A few moments later, Edna wiped her eyes and regained her composure, and then Jo told her, “You know what Blair’s reaction was to hearing that kind of news, Mrs. G.?”

“What was her reaction, Jo?” Mrs. Garrett asked.

“Blair told us that she felt she needed to find her own place here in Peekskill and move in with the nurse Monica was going to hire for her and leave Eastland as quickly as possible,” Jo replied. “And the reason why Blair wanted to do that is because she’s terrified that she might go into cardiac arrest in her sleep one night and that it would be Natalie or Tootie who would try to wake her up, only to discover that she was gone,” Jo explained while Mrs. Garrett’s face registered untold levels of emotional agony. “I used to give Blair a lot of flack for bein’ self-centered and egotistical,” Jo continued, “but the fact of the matter is, when you strip away the spoiled princess act, when you get right down to it, right down to her core and her soul and who she really is as a human being, it turns out that Blair Warner is actually one of the most selfless people on the planet.”

“That is what that child has been carrying since yesterday?” Mrs. Garrett gasped in pure horror.

“Yes,” Mr. Bradley whispered.

“And that’s why we’ve both been tellin’ her to stop bein’ so strong all the time,” said Jo. “To lean on us and let us start helping her.”

“Edna, Dr. Green said that Blair should really be in a hospital now, but we all know that that’s not what she wants. And it’s quite obvious that we cannot let her go through the physical and psychological strain of moving into a new house. Dr. Green says that in order for Blair to have as much time as possible, we have to eliminate all the stress from her life that we can. He says that Blair needs to be on bedrest now, and that she needs to be on oxygen to reduce the workload on her heart. I was going to talk to you about taking over Blair’s medical care since you’re a registered nurse, but since you’ve already taken over as both her nurse and her mother, I know there’s no need for that now. Earlier this evening, I was actually able to get in touch with Mr. Warner, and I’ve informed him of everything that’s happened today. I’ve also called Dr. Green and spoken with him. Since you’re going to be caring for Blair from here on out, Dr. Green gave me a list of all the medical supplies Blair will need, which I passed on to Mr. Warner. And he assured me that he would take care of it and have all those things sent here tomorrow. Things like a hospital bed, an I.V., oxygen, etc. You’re an R.N. You know the drill.”

“Yes,” said Mrs. Garrett.

“Since Blair is so worried about Natalie and Tootie discovering her after she’s…” said Mr. Bradley, allowing the sentence to trail. “I figured we could set up the hospital bed and the oxygen and everything in your room while you sleep in Blair’s bed with the girls. I realize it’s an inconvenience for you, but the cold, hard fact of the matter is, both Mr. and Mrs. Warner are abandoning Blair, and we can’t let her leave Eastland, and we can’t let her die in some cold, lonely, sterile hospital room. Blair needs to be at home, and she needs to be with her true family, and she needs those things now more than ever before. And with both of the Warners having gone AWOL, you and I have got to take the reins now, Edna. You and I have got to be the ones to give Blair all the things she needs, because God knows her disgusting DNA donors certainly won’t.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Mrs. Garrett concurred. “I agree with every word you just said, Mr. Bradley. I agree wholeheartedly. And I don’t consider it an inconvenience to give Blair my room and take care of her. I consider it a privilege. She is so very dear to me, I love her so, so much, and I will gladly do anything I possibly can to help her now.”

“I’m glad you and I are on the same page, Edna,” said Mr. Bradley.

“We are, Mr. Bradley. We most definitely are,” Mrs. Garrett reassured him.

A few moments later, Jo looked at Mrs. Garrett and said, “You know, Mrs. G., while we’re on the subject of things that Blair needs, I think there’s something else that you should know.”

“What’s that?” Mrs. Garrett asked.

“Blair and I were nearby when you were talking with Professor Clayton several weeks ago about how much your job was getting to you and how much you were looking forward to getting away from us, how much you were looking forward to getting away from all our ‘fights and spats and hormones and various types of teenage crises and drama.’ We overheard every word. And you really have no idea just how much that hurt her, Mrs. Garrett. Especially given the fact that she overheard you saying that after the Warners had already decided to abandon her because of her diagnosis. You really need to apologize to Blair for that remark.”

Mrs. Garrett then reached out and put a loving hand on Jo’s upper right arm, and she responded, “I will, Jo. I will. Thank you for telling me. Oh God, I had no idea that Blair actually heard me say that. I feel absolutely awful. I didn’t mean any of the things I was saying that day, of course. I was just so devastated to think that there was actually a girl here at Eastland who was dying and being abandoned by her own parents, and  I just said all of that because I was so heartbroken. But I never dreamed that Blair would actually hear what I was saying. I can’t tell you guys how completely mortified I am that Blair actually overheard all of that. I’ll make certain to apologize to her just as soon as I can.”

Jo responded with a simple nod.

Then, after exchanging the usual pleasantries, Mr. Bradley said goodbye and went home for the evening, and Jo started doing her homework while Mrs. Garrett went out to find Natalie and Tootie to talk with them and see how they were doing.

When Blair woke up the next morning, a Thursday, it was already nine o’clock. As soon as she opened her eyes and looked at the clock on her nightstand, she realized that Mrs. Garrett must’ve let her sleep in. Not wanting to miss any more of her classes that day, Blair quickly got up and got showered and dressed in her school uniform, and at around twenty minutes past nine, she came down the stairs, and she walked through the empty kitchen into the cafeteria, where Mrs. Garrett and Mr. Bradley were sitting together at one of the tables. Mrs. Garrett was wearing a light blue, long-sleeved blouse with a beige skirt, with the perfect touch of makeup and her hair up in a bun as always, and Mr. Bradley was wearing a black suit with a white shirt and gray tie.

“Blair, you’re up,” Mrs. Garrett said with a smile. “Come over here and sit down, sweetheart. Mr. Bradley and I need to discuss something with you.”

Blair gave them a kind smile then, and she walked up to their table and took a seat across from them.

“What’s up?” she asked.

“Blair, now that everything is finally out in the open, Edna and I…we want you to know that we’re here for you.”

“I already do know that, Mr. Bradley. But thank you for reminding me.”

“Blair, Mr. Bradley and I…we both want, so very much, to help you now. We just want to know…is there anything that you need from us? Is there anything that we can do to make all of this easier for you? Anything at all?”

“Whatever it is, you just name it,” Mr. Bradley said kindly.

“Well…since my doctor’s appointment I had with Dr. Green on Tuesday, I’ve been doing a lot of very hard thinking. And I know how I said that I didn’t want to go into the hospital. That I wanted to stay at home. But I’m worried that if I do stay here at Eastland, and something happens to me before the end of the school year, it could really hurt Natalie and Tootie. Maybe even scar them for life. They’ve always been little sisters to me. Always. And I can’t play Russian roulette with their psychological well-being. I can’t risk letting them see me die, or even worse, discover my body after I’ve died. I can’t risk putting them through that just so I can avoid the hospital. That would be far too selfish. That would be something David and Monica would do. And I can’t let what’s happening to me make me selfish and cruel like they are.”

“We’ve already taken care of all that, Blair. You have nothing to worry about,” Mr. Bradley reassured her.

“What do you mean?” Blair asked.

“Mr. Bradley spoke with Dr. Green and with Mr. Warner over the telephone yesterday,” Mrs. Garrett replied. “Dr. Green gave Mr. Bradley a list of all the medical supplies you’ll need, and Mr. Bradley relayed it to Mr. Warner. He’s going to have everything sent here today. Men are coming this afternoon to move out my bed and put a hospital bed in my room for you, as well as oxygen, an I.V., and other various supplies. I’m going to sleep in your bed in the girls’ room, and you’re going to stay in my room from now on. And starting today, I am officially taking off my school dietician hat and I’m putting on my nursing hat once again. It’ll be a little extra work for Jo, Natalie, and Tootie, but they’ve already agreed to take over all my duties for me in the kitchen and cafeteria for the rest of the school year while I take care of you. And as far as Natalie and Tootie are concerned, you just leave that to us. Leave that to Mr. Bradley and me. We’ll look out for them, Blair. You don’t need to worry about that.”

 “That’s the last thing you need to worry about,” said Mr. Bradley.

“Wow, Mrs. Garrett,” Blair whispered. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything, Blair. Just let us love you and be there for you now. That’s all you have to do,” Mrs. Garrett told her.

“That’s right,” Mr. Bradley agreed.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“You’re more than welcome, Blair,” said Mr. Bradley. “We’re just doing the things that family is supposed to do. That’s all.”

“That’s right,” said Mrs. Garrett.

“Well, everything you guys have just said to me, it…it really does take a load off my mind. Again, I can’t thank you enough. However, I’m not ready to resign myself to living my life completely from a hospital bed. Not just yet. I mean, I know everything that Dr. Green said the other day. I know how sick I am. But I still have one more very important thing that I need to accomplish before I resign myself to a life of bedrest and supplemental oxygen twenty-four-seven.”

“What’s that, sweetheart?” Mrs. Garrett inquired.

“I want to finish earning my high school diploma. I know the thought of me getting my diploma might seem completely pointless to you now, but Eastland has been a huge part of my life every day for the past six years. I love this school with all my heart. If it hadn’t been for Eastland and for the wonderful influence of all the incredible people here, God only knows what kind of person I would’ve become. I could’ve ended up being as selfish and horrible as my DNA donors are. I owe Eastland so much. It is a huge part of the person I grew up into. And when I die, I want to die an Eastland graduate. I know I don’t have the strength to continue going to all my classes while working in the kitchen and cafeteria, but I’ve spoken to all my teachers about it, and they’ve told me that as long as I can complete all of my final term papers, even if I don’t complete any of my other classwork and exams, I’ll still have passing grades in every subject. So, if it’s alright with the two of you, I’d like to spend the next few days completing all my term papers. If I could just focus all the strength and energy I still have left on all my duties in the kitchen and cafeteria and on my term papers for the next few days, without having to worry about going to my classes, that would help me so much.”

“Blair, when I spoke with Dr. Green last night, he made it crystal clear that in order for you to have as much time as possible, you simply must be in a stress-free environment now, getting as much rest and relaxation as you can. All of the work, all of the mental exertion it would take for you to finish all your term papers, could rob you of time, Blair. Priceless time. And nothing matters more right now than us taking the necessary steps to ensure that you have as much time with us, and we have as much time with you, as possible. While I do admire you for your willingness to continue helping out in the kitchen and cafeteria, that is completely out of the question. And as far as you getting your diploma and becoming an Eastland graduate is concerned, that is the last thing on earth you need to worry about, Blair, because you’ve already graduated from Eastland.”

“What do you mean, Mr. Bradley?”

“Do you remember how I told Margo that she was unworthy of the Eastland uniform?”

“Of course.”

“Well Blair, out of all the students who have ever walked the halls of the Eastland School for Girls, there has never been another young woman who is more worthy of the Eastland uniform than you. Eastland isn’t just about classes and exams and papers and grades. Above all else, Eastland is about character. About growth. About values. About putting others ahead of yourself. And I have never seen another student in this school who has grown at the exponential rate that you have. And I want you to know that the moment you decided to be more concerned about Natalie’s and Tootie’s well-being than about your own personal desires, despite being terminally ill yourself, that is the moment you officially graduated from Eastland, Blair. That is the moment you personally embodied everything, everything, that Eastland stands for. More than any other Eastland graduate who’s ever come before you.”

After a long pause, Blair finally said in an emotional whisper, “Thank you for saying that, Mr. Bradley.”

“I just spoke the truth, Blair. That’s all,” said Mr. Bradley. “So, we’re all agreed, then, Blair, that you’re going to follow Dr. Green’s instructions to the letter and start taking it easy from now on?” he asked.

“Yes,” Blair agreed.

“Good. Until the men come and get Mrs. Garrett’s room ready for you this afternoon, Blair, you and Mrs. Garrett can just kick back and relax. Obviously, you don’t need to worry about classes anymore, since you’ve just graduated.”

“Right,” said Blair.

“You can certainly go upstairs and lie down in your own bed until then if you need to,” Mr. Bradley told her.

“Thank you, Mr. Bradley, but I don’t need to lie down right now. I’m alright.”

“Don’t worry, Mr. Bradley. I’ll keep a very close eye on Blair. I’ll watch her like a hawk,” Mrs. Garrett assured him.

“I know you will, Edna,” said Mr. Bradley. “I’ll be back over here later on this afternoon to see how you two are doing.”

“Thank you, Mr. Bradley,” said Mrs. Garrett. And then, with a polite nod, Mr. Bradley got up from his seat and left, and Mrs. Garrett scooted her chair over closer to Blair’s and put a loving arm around her shoulders, silently reassuring her with her eyes that she was not in this alone.

Chapter Text

A/N: See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.

Chapter 10: Graduation

The next morning, after Natalie, Tootie, and Jo had gone to class, Mrs. Garrett knocked on the door of what was now officially Blair’s room to check on her and see how she was doing.

As soon as Mrs. Garrett knocked, Blair, who was now taping a small white sign onto the wall behind her bed, answered, “Come in.”

Mrs. Garrett, now wearing a dark blue, long-sleeved blouse with a black skirt, with her hair up in its usual bun, entered. Blair was now wearing a white silk nightgown with a matching robe and white slippers.

“Good morning, love,” Mrs. Garrett said softly.

“Good morning, Mrs. Garrett,” Blair responded as she finished taping the sign.

“What’s this?” Mrs. Garrett asked. The symbol on the sign Blair had taped on the wall somewhat resembled an upside-down horseshoe, and Mrs. Garrett didn’t know what it meant.

“Omega. The last symbol of the Greek alphabet,” Blair explained. “You know what the hardest thing is for me to accept about my illness, Mrs. Garrett?” she asked.

“What?”

“The realization that…I could’ve done so much more with my life. If I’d known that I was only going to have eighteen years, I would’ve spent my time so much more wisely than I did. I wouldn’t have been so self-centered and egotistical all my life. I would’ve been a lot less selfish. I would’ve taken advantage of more of the opportunities I had to help other people and show my love to them. So, I’ve put up this sign over my bed of the omega symbol to remind me that I’m at the end. That I don’t have any more time left to waste. That I need to spend each second I still have showing as much love as I can while I still have the chance. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, I’ve wasted a lot of time and opportunities, but I will not let my end be a waste. I’m going to make certain that the ending to my life on this earth is going to be worth something, Mrs. Garrett.”

“Oh, honey,” Mrs. Garrett whispered, visibly fighting off tears, and then she pulled Blair into her arms and gave her the longest hug. With her arms still wrapped around her daughter, she then whispered, “Your life has never been a waste, Blair. Never. You haven’t wasted your life. Yes, you’ve made mistakes just as we all do, but the girls and I have always known how much you care about us, and we’ve always known that underneath all your bluster, you really do have a very big and loving heart. And maybe there have been some times when you focused a little too much on yourself and not enough on others, but the same thing can be easily said for every human being. We all have times like that, because none of us are perfect. Just look at me.”

“What are you talking about, Mrs. Garrett? You haven’t been like that.”

“Oh, yes, I have been. Jo told me all about how the two of you overheard all those hurtful things I said to Professor Clayton several weeks ago. That terrible crack I made about how I wanted to get away from you girls. Away from fights and spats and hormones and teenage crises and drama. Jo told me how badly that hurt you, and I just want you to know that I’m sorry, Blair. I am so, so sorry for saying that. I didn’t mean a word of it. I was just talking a bunch of nonsense because I was so hurt and upset about what your parents – I mean, your DNA donors – were putting you through.”

“I understand, Mrs. Garrett. Apology accepted.”

“I also want you to know how sorry I am for that terrible advice I gave you, you know, to focus on your future, when we were talking about how depressed you were about leaving Eastland. That was horribly insensitive of me, and I feel awful about it.”

Blair kindly shook her head and told her, “There’s no way you could have known, Mrs. Garrett. I don’t blame you for what you said. Not at all. I understand that you were only trying to help me. And I feel a little bad about that conversation myself, the way I lied to you about seeing the school nurse and what she said and everything. I just wasn’t ready for you and the girls the know the truth yet, you know?”

“Oh yes, sweetheart. I understand. I know that allowing Natalie and Tootie and me to know about your illness was not easy for you. Shoot, nothing has been easy for you these past couple of months. I can’t even imagine what you’ve been going through.”

“You’re right, Mrs. Garrett. It has been pretty rough,” Blair agreed. “It would have been nice if my DNA donors would’ve taken it upon themselves to actually be parents just once in our lives and be with me and support me through all of this, but that’s just not the way it turned out.”

“Well, your DNA donors may have abandoned you, but I’m here, Blair. I’m right here, and I always will be, and I want you to know that. God promises His children in His word that He will never leave them nor forsake them, and I want you to know that as your new mom, I will never leave nor forsake you, no matter what happens. That’s a promise.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Garrett,” Blair whispered, and then she and Mrs. Garrett hugged for the longest time.

With Blair still in her embrace, Mrs. Garrett said, “And I think it’s high time you stopped calling me, ‘Mrs. Garrett,’ and started calling me, ‘Mom.’”

The embrace ended then, and Blair looked into Mrs. Garrett’s eyes and asked, “Are you serious?”

“Of course I’m serious! I wasn’t joking when I told Mrs. Warner that I was taking over as your mother now. And as far as I am concerned, you are just as much my child as Raymond and Alex are.”

Tears filled Blair’s eyes in that moment as she hugged her new mother a second time, and then she told her, “Thank you so much for saying that.”

“It’s true, my precious girl,” said Mrs. Garrett through some tears of her own. “It’s absolutely true. You are so precious to me, and I love you so much.”

Their second embrace ended in that moment, and then Blair looked into her mother’s eyes and said, “I love you, too…Mom.”

Mrs. Garrett then reached out and lovingly touched her daughter’s cheek with her index finger before pulling her back into her arms for yet another long hug.

Several long moments later, Mrs. Garrett ended the embrace, and she told Blair, “Okay, sweetheart. I think we need to get you back into bed now.”

Blair nodded, and then after she took off her robe and slippers, Mrs. Garrett helped her back into bed and pulled the covers up over her. She then put the oxygen tubing back under Blair’s nostrils and around her ears where it had been before.

“What would you like to eat for breakfast this morning, dear?” Mrs. Garrett asked.

“I appreciate the offer, Mom, but I really don’t feel like eating anything right now. I really just want to go back to sleep for a while.”

“Are you sure you don’t want anything now?”

“I’m sure.”

“Okay, love. Maybe you’ll feel a little more like eating later on. I tell you what. I’ll come back up here sometime between ten-thirty and eleven to check on you, and if you’re feeling hungry then, I’ll make you some brunch and bring it up here to you.”

Blair smiled and said, “That sounds good. Thank you.”

“Of course.”

“You know, it’s been really challenging these past several weeks, trying to keep my illness to myself. It was hard to let you guys know what was going on, but it was equally hard trying to pretend that everything was normal. On the one hand, I hate it that you guys know, because I know how sad you all are, but on the other hand, it’s actually kind of a relief that you do know now. Now, I don’t have to pretend that everything is fine when it isn’t. I don’t have to pretend that I’m okay when I’m not. I can just be tired when I feel tired. I don’t have to try to force myself to eat when I really don’t want to. You get what I’m saying?” Blair asked.

Mrs. Garrett nodded and replied, “I get it, love. And even though it hurts as much as it does, I’m glad I know, Blair. I’m so glad that I know now so that I can give you all the help that you need. I don’t ever want you to feel like you need to lie to me to protect me, Blair. I know that everything was reversed from the way it’s supposed to be in your previous relationship with Monica, but in this mother-daughter relationship, I want to be the one to protect and take care of you, not the other way around. I want to be the parent, and I want you to always feel free to be the child.”

“Thank you so much for saying that,” Blair whispered as tears came to her eyes, and once again, her mother pulled her into her arms for a long hug.

“Thank you for coming into my life,” Mrs. Garrett whispered.

Finally, once the long embrace was over, Mrs. Garrett leaned Blair back on the pillows behind her, kissed her cheek, and held her hand while she drifted off to sleep.

Blair’s condition rapidly deteriorated over the next three weeks. Mrs. Garrett constantly remained by her side, and Jo, Natalie, and Tootie were frequently at her bedside as well, and so were her Cousin Geri, her Aunt Francesca, and Mr. Bradley. Graduation Day for Eastland that year was on Saturday, the eleventh of June, but even though they certainly hoped that they would still have Blair with them then, it didn’t seem likely. On Wednesday of that week, the eighth of June, Blair suffered a second heart attack while Dr. Green was visiting, and unlike the first one, it was terribly painful. Thankfully, Dr. Green immediately gave her an injection of morphine that quickly eased the pain and helped Blair sleep. The heart attack occurred at twenty past eleven that morning, and after Dr. Green’s morphine injection, Blair went into a very deep sleep for the next eight hours, and it wasn’t until seven-thirty that evening that Blair woke up again. And as soon as her eyes opened, her mama was right there.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Mrs. Garrett whispered as she reached out and took Blair’s hand in her own. She was now wearing a long-sleeved pink blouse with a black skirt, with the perfect touch of makeup and her hair up in its usual bun.

Blair was now wearing a silk lavender nightgown, and Dr. Green had switched her over from a nasal canula to an oxygen mask after her heart attack that day.

She then took off her oxygen mask and said, “Hi, Mom.”

“How are you feeling?” Mrs. Garrett asked softly.

“I feel so weak,” Blair answered honestly.

Mrs. Garrett nodded and said, “That’s understandable after everything you’ve been through today. Do you feel like you might want to try to eat a little something? The girls made dinner a while ago.”

Blair shook her head and said, “I don’t want to eat anything right now. I just want to float again.”

“Float?”

“When I fell asleep after that morphine injection, I felt like I was floating in the ocean, surrounded by water, the waves just rocking me back and forth. Like when I was a little kid in the summertime at the beach. It felt just like that, all over again. I felt so…warm. And so safe. Perfectly at peace. And even though I didn’t see Him, somehow, I felt it that Jesus was right there with me, watching me ever so closely, keeping me safe. It was the most…pleasant feeling you can imagine, Mom. Almost as if Jesus, Himself, was giving me a sneak-preview of heaven. I literally felt love, itself, touching me. Surrounding me. Comforting me. Keeping me safe. Ever since my diagnosis, I’ve been so scared. But I’m not scared anymore. I know now that I don’t have anything to be afraid of.”

“You’re right, sweetheart. You have nothing to fear,” Mrs. Garrett whispered. “Oh Blair, I just want you to know that I love you so much. So very much.”

“I love you too, Mom. Thank you for adopting me.”

“Thank you for coming into my life,” Mrs. Garrett gasped as tears filled her eyes.

“When you chose to adopt me…you gave me the most beautiful gift. It hurt me so much, every day of my life. I never admitted it or actually talked about it out loud to anyone before now. But that silent pain, eating away at my soul, gnawing away at my soul, was always there, every second of my life. The pain of knowing that my own parents…never really loved me. Not like I needed to be loved.”

“Not like you deserved to be loved.”

“Yeah. It always hurt so bad…knowing that they loved the family business and money and traveling and projects…and themselves…so much more than they ever loved me. That I was a mere accessory to them, nothing more. And when you took it upon yourself to adopt me and take care of me, you proved to me that I am good enough to have real parents in my life who truly love me, that I was always good enough to have that. That they were wrong and even stupid to reject a daughter like me. Thank you for doing that for me, Mom. Thank you so much.”

Unable to say another word, Mrs. Garrett simply pulled her baby girl into her arms and hugged her tightly for the longest time as rivers of tears flowed from her eyes.

Finally, she whispered, “Thank you, Blair. Thank you. I thank you, so much, so very much, for letting me do it. There is no greater gift in this world than the God-given gift of a child. And getting to have Blair Warner for my very own daughter…is such a remarkable privilege.”

“I feel the same way about having Edna Garrett for a mom,” said Blair.

Mrs. Garrett responded by planting a firm kiss on her daughter’s cheek, and then she leaned her back on the pillows behind her and put the oxygen mask back over her nose and mouth.

“Rest now, baby girl,” Mrs. Garrett whispered. “Just rest.”

Blair immediately fell asleep, with Mrs. Garrett still holding her hand.

Mr. Bradley came upstairs into the room ten minutes later, and he and Mrs. Garrett just quietly sat together at Blair’s bedside. Mrs. Garrett sat on Blair’s left side, holding her left hand, while Mr. Bradley sat on her right side, holding her right hand.

Exactly one hour later, at eight-forty-one on the night of Wednesday, the eighth of June, 1983, with both her new mother and Mr. Bradley holding her hands, Blair Nicole Warner left this world and entered the gates of heaven and the warm embrace of Jesus Christ, Himself, and she began to experience the greatest sense of love, peace, and joy possible.

Blair’s funeral and burial were on that Friday, the tenth of June, and the school graduation was postponed until next Saturday, the eighteenth. Both Mr. Bradley and Mr. Parker served as pallbearers, as did Dr. Green and Tootie’s father, Harrison Ramsey, as well as two of Blair’s ex-boyfriends. They all went back to Eastland afterwards, along with Blair’s Cousin Geri and Aunt Francesca, and they cried and hugged and talked about all their memories of Blair for hours on end.

Natalie’s and Tootie’s parents all decided to stay at the nearby hotel on the highway through the next week, because Natalie and Tootie wanted to be there to see Jo graduate before they left with their folks to go home for the summer. However, neither of Jo's parents were able to make it up to Eastland until the day before graduation. And sadly, when they did show up, they were not very helpful to their daughter at all. While Mrs. Garrett and the girls, Jo especially, were all reeling inside from the pain of losing Blair, both of Jo's parents quickly showcased the unfortunate fact that Blair's passing hadn't taught either one of them anything. While Jo was still in so much agony from the loss of her best friend, both Mr. and Mrs. Polniaczek were too immature and too self-absorbed to actually do their jobs as parents and be there for their daughter. On the evening of Friday, the seventeenth of June, the day before graduation, Mrs. Garrett came downstairs into the lounge, only to find Mr. and Mrs. Polniaczek going at each other’s throats.

“Ah, come on, Rosie! For heaven’s sake! Do you have to bring that up now?” Charlie Polniaczek complained.

“You’re still up to your old tricks, Charlie! Same as always!” Rose Polniaczek yelled back at her ex-husband. “I just knew you were gonna stand us up! I just knew you weren’t gonna show up!”

“But I did show up! I’m here, aren’t I?!”

“Yes, but for several hours today, Jo and I were scared to death you weren’t going to come! That’s what happens when you make a habit of abandoning your wife and kid, Charlie! They learn, over and over and over again, that no matter what, they can’t trust you!”

“My car broke down! Do you think I planned for that to happen?!”

“That old clunker’s always breaking down! You should have been enough of an adult to arrange for some reliable transportation so that Jo and I wouldn’t have to worry that you would hurt us and let us down again!”

“Oh, come off it, Rosie! You almost make it sound like you and I are still married!”

“We may not be husband and wife anymore, but Jo is my child, and when you hurt Jo and you let Jo down, you do those same things to me!”

“But I didn’t let Jo down! I’m here!”

“Actually, by the two of you arguing and yelling at the top of your lungs on the night before Jo’s high school graduation, you’re both letting her down,” Mrs. Garrett told them sensibly. She was now wearing a teal, long-sleeved blouse with a white skirt, her hair and makeup done to perfection as usual. Rose was wearing a simple, short-sleeved gray dress, and Charlie was wearing a denim shirt with blue jeans.

“Oh, hi, Mrs. Garrett,” Charlie said rather sheepishly, obviously embarrassed.

“Hello, Mrs. Garrett,” Rose said quietly.

“Hello, Mrs. Polniaczek. Mr. Polniaczek. I was wondering why your daughter had tears in her eyes as she was racing out the door just now,” Mrs. Garrett told them pointedly. “Mr. and Mrs. Polniaczek, I’m ordinarily a kind and polite person. I don’t like being rude to anyone, and I don’t like making scenes. But sometimes, things happen in life, and you’re left with no choice. I’d prefer to be nice and polite to the two of you, but tonight, I have to tell you both the cold, hard truth, and unfortunately, I can’t do that and be nice and polite at the same time, because the truth is not always a very nice and polite thing. And the cold, hard truth is, the two of you are hurting your daughter. You are badly hurting your daughter, and you’re hurting her because you’re both too selfish and too immature to get your minds off of yourselves.

“Mr. Polniaczek, when you first came up here to Eastland, I actually felt sorry for you and I sympathized with you when I should have sympathized with your daughter. I actually dared to tell you that you’d been through a lot and that Jo was giving you a rough time, when you were the one who’d been abusing Jo for years!”

“Abusing her?!” Charlie angrily responded.

“That’s right. When you abandoned Jo, you became a child abuser, because abandonment is emotional abuse. You making the conscious decision to never be there constantly sent Jo a message, every second of every day of her childhood, that said, ‘I don’t love you.’ And that message is emotional abuse. I was so anxious to keep you from running out of Jo’s life again that I actually showed you sympathy and took your side over Jo’s, when I should have done the exact opposite.

“Had you changed your behavior, had you finally grown up and started conducting your life like an adult and started being a father to Jo again, I wouldn’t be saying any of this to you right now. I’d be more than happy to let it all go, consider it water under the bridge, just let bygones be bygones. But you haven’t. Oh, you may have gotten a steady job and started contributing whatever you can to Jo’s upbringing and education financially, but you’re never there emotionally. There is much, much more to being a father besides holding down a steady job and going to visit your child occasionally. An occasional visit is not being a parent, Mr. Polniaczek. Jo needs more from you than that. She deserves more from you than that. So much more. She needs you to be present in her life, so much more often than just once every two or three months to take her out to a baseball game. She needs to know that you’re there for her, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, three hundred sixty-five days a year. She needs to know she can call you at two in the morning if she needs someone. And she needs you to call her more than two or three times a month. She needs you to write her. She needs you to take frequent and active steps to maintain your relationship. She needs you to actually be emotionally involved in her life. Being a father is not paying a couple of bills here or there and driving up to your daughter’s school once every three months to visit her. Apparently, that’s what you think fatherhood is, but it is so much more than that.”

“Amen!” Rose heartily agreed.

“When I took your side over Jo’s the last time you were here, I did a terrible thing, Mr. Polniaczek,” Mrs. Garrett continued. “I enabled your emotional abuse of Jo. I basically forced Jo to let you back into her life, regardless if she wanted to take the risk of getting hurt by you again or not. And I despise myself for doing that. I did such an evil thing when I took your side over hers. And over these past few weeks, I have had to watch the most beautiful, wonderful little girl get abandoned by the two people who should have loved her and cared for her the most when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. And I had to hold her in my arms and watch her die, suffering not only the pain of her cancer, but also the indescribable pain of knowing that her own parents didn’t love her enough to be there for her when she needed them the most.

“Since then, I’ve realized just how insidious abuse – all forms of abuse – truly are. I’ve learned the hard way just how evil it is when you as a parent actually do things to make it easier for another parent to abuse and neglect their child. Jo has helped me open my eyes and wake up and realize just how prejudiced I’ve been against young people, and how that prejudice ultimately made it easier for Blair’s parents to emotionally abuse her – and how it also made it easier for you to emotionally abuse Jo through your continued abandonment.

“And Mrs. Polniaczek, what I’m saying doesn’t just apply to your ex-husband. It applies to you, too,” said Mrs. Garrett after she turned to face Rose. “Now, don’t get me wrong. I know that you have worked your tail off and made a lot of sacrifices these past three years to help put Jo through Eastland. To get her out of your dangerous neighborhood and keep her safe and give her the best chance you can at a better life. And I greatly admire you for all of your hard work.

“But Jo is constantly carrying the weight of practically the whole world on her shoulders, and since Mr. Polniaczek is not frequently a big part of your daughter’s life, it stands to reason that the cause of that is not him, but you. Jo’s never said anything to me about it, but I’ve always sensed it from her that she feels responsible for the emotional health and well-being of you and all the other adults in your neighborhood who weren’t able to get out and make better lives for themselves. And Jo is one individual. One. And she is only eighteen years of age. She is far too young to be carrying all that weight on her shoulders. It may be Jo’s job to try her best to be a good daughter to you – which she does do, every single day of her life – but it is not Jo’s job to be both mother and psychologist to you and your whole neighborhood. Nor is it Jo’s job to make up for everything that went wrong in your life, that didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to. It is not Jo’s job to make up for the fact that you and everybody else in your neighborhood weren’t able to go to a high-class school like Eastland when you all were her age, nor is it her job to make up for the fact that you all weren’t able to graduate from college and get a well-paying job and move into a better neighborhood.”

“I know that, Mrs. Garrett,” Rose said quietly.

“You may know that, Mrs. Polniaczek, but Jo doesn’t. And it’s time you tell her. It’s time you set her free from carrying the crushing, inhumane load she’s carrying around on her back all the time, that you and Mr. Polniaczek didn’t even notice because you’re both too wrapped up in yourselves to really pay attention to the emotional state of your daughter.

“Now listen. I know that divorce is very hard and very painful. I’m divorced myself. I’ve been there. I know what it’s like. I also know what it’s like to have to raise not one, but two children all on your own as a single parent. I’ve been there as well. I know what both of you are going through. But regardless of your own pain and your own problems, it does not give the two of you an excuse to neglect and emotionally abuse your daughter. When you bring a helpless child into this world, life stops being all about you. Your pain and your problems automatically become secondary to the needs of your child. That’s the first lesson in Parenting 101. The two of you should know that by now, but given the fact that you couldn’t forget about yourselves long enough to put your daughter first, mere days after she buried one of her closest friends, and on the night before her high school graduation, proves that you both badly need to be reminded of that lesson.

“These past few weeks, I have learned a lot, and I have really changed. I am not the same person I was when you first came to Eastland three years ago, Mr. Polniaczek. The person who took your side over your daughter’s and ultimately made it easier for you to escape all accountability for the emotional hell you put her through. That person is gone for good, and she is never coming back. And I want you to know, I want you both to know, that from here on out, I will not automatically take your side just because you’re fellow parents. Not like I used to. Not anymore. From this point on, I am on Jo’s side, not yours. And if either one of you truly care about Jo the way parents should care about their child, you two will also start being on your daughter’s side rather than your own.”

Without another word, Mrs. Garrett left Mr. and Mrs. Polniaczek, just standing together in the Eastland lounge, completely speechless.

At two minutes to eleven the next morning, Jo came running into the backstage area of the Eastland auditorium in her red graduation cap and gown, just barely making it to the graduation ceremony on time.

“Jo! Where on earth have you been?!” Mrs. Garrett cried out. She now wore a matching gray blazer and skirt with a white dress shirt, her hair up in a bun as always, and her makeup done to perfection.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. G. I know I almost didn’t make it here on time. I’m sorry. It’s just that Ma and Pop found me last night. I went out to take a walk when they started arguin’ and I had started cryin’. And we went back to their hotel, and the three of us just sat in Pop’s hotel room all night long, just talkin’.”

“The three of you talked the entire night?” Mrs. Garrett inquired with a hopeful smile.

“Yeah, we did. Boy, I tell ya, Mrs. G., the three of us haven’t connected like that in a long time. Ma got me to realize that I don’t have to feel guilty because I’m graduating as class valedictorian from Eastland and goin’ to Langley next fall, and that nobody else from my neighborhood is able to do that. She got me to see that I’ve been carryin’ her and our whole neighborhood on my back for years, and that it isn’t my responsibility to do that. I’m not responsible for Ma or the rest of the neighborhood or anybody else. I’m just responsible for what I decide to do in my life.”

“That’s right,” Mrs. Garrett agreed.

“And Pop…he really surprised me. He apologized – he really apologized – for still not bein’ a very active and involved parent. For not bein’ there for me as much as I needed him to be. He promised me that he’d start doin’ better from now on. Really doin’ better, that is. And I know he’s made and broken a lot of promises before, but there was somethin’ different this time. This time, I really get the feeling in my gut that he actually means it. He admitted it that him leavin’ me and choosin’ not to be there all those years was emotional abuse, and he begged me to forgive him. I told him the truth, that I forgave him years ago. Now, I’m just gonna wait and see if he follows through on everything he says. And if he does, I’ll be able to let him get closer, and I’ll be able to trust him more.”

“That’s good, Jo. Don’t take it too fast. Just take it nice and slow and steady. Your relationship with your father wasn’t broken overnight, and it won’t be fully repaired overnight. It’ll take some time. And he does have a lot of making up to do.”

“That’s true,” Jo concurred. “But I feel more hopeful about it than I’ve felt in a long time.”

“That’s wonderful.”

“I just hope and pray to Jesus that Blair knows that when I walk out there on that stage in a couple of moments, I’m not just walkin’ out there for myself. I’m doin’ it for her, too.”

Again, Mrs. Garrett smiled, and she told Jo, “Don’t worry, love. I believe with all my heart and soul that Jesus and all the angels and saints in heaven are throwing Blair the biggest, grandest, most beautiful graduation party a girl ever had, right now, at this very moment.”

“You really believe that?” Jo asked with a smile of her own.

“Absolutely. The world may forget hurting children like Blair, but God never forgets them, and He also never forgets the things that matter to them. God always knew how much it meant to Blair to be able to celebrate her graduation from Eastland. And if I know the Almighty like I think I do, we can rest assured that Blair is now having the graduation party of her dreams up in heaven right now.”

Pomp and Circumstance began playing then, and after hugging Mrs. Garrett, and then hugging Natalie and Tootie, who quickly came up to her for a brief moment, Jo and the rest of her graduating class walked out on stage, and they all began receiving their diplomas from Mr. Bradley.

And Blair, who was now also enjoying a huge graduation celebration of her own in the halls of heaven, looked down with a very big smile.