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Published:
2025-05-15
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An expected visit

Summary:

Bix isn’t surprised when Vel shows up at her door. She knows it’s about Cassian

Notes:

If you weren’t completely broken by the Andor finale I’m here to fix that for you

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Bix knew why she had come before she even knew the who. In all honesty, she had expected Wilmon. But instead it was Vel standing outside the trailer with dull eyes and puffy cheeks.

“Bix,” she started, before stopping again.

Bix could see the agonized thoughts running through her mind, wondering how to break this news. You would think a woman like her would have this down to a science now. Little Clem gurgled in her arms, fascinated by this new person. A slight breeze made that sea-like sound of endless rustling wheat. Somewhere a bird called, its voice high and shrill.

“I know,” Bix said, ending Vel’s misery.

“How?”

“I’ve known for a while now, I think,” Bix said, but even as the words left her mouth, she realized there was still some surprise to her grief. “Come in. I have tea.”

Vel ducked her head to step into the small trailer. She looked around awkwardly for a moment before Bix pulled out a chair. There was a strange quality to the usually confident woman, a confusion and an emptiness to her eyes.

“Is Wilmon all right?” Bix asked as she prepared some tea.

“Yes,” Vel said. “He’s actually planning to move back here. I’d tell you why, but I thought I’d let him be the one to give you some good news.”

That was probably either an engagement or a baby. Bix nodded, tapping her nails on the countertop with her free hand as Vel’s tea heated up. She couldn’t help but think of Cassian. A few days ago she’d been walking through the rows with Clem when it struck her. A sudden grief, a loss she couldn’t name. Nothing solid; no voices or faces. Just a feeling.

But she had known what it meant all the same.

“It was very fast,” Vel said. “And it mattered. He helped get the plans to the Empire’s superweapon. Prevented another Alderaan.”

Bix nodded, turning her face away from Vel and towards the window. The ocean of wheat grew inexplicably blurry. The news should have come as a relief, but somehow it just made the pain more real.

The smell of burning tea drew her back to the present. She poured it into a mug and placed it on the table next to Vel with strangely steady hands. Clem began to fuss.

“Sorry,” Bix said. “He’s hungry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Vel said quickly.

Bix unbuttoned her shirt, and Clem latched on. She’d been very lucky; he was a quick and easy feeder.

“Did he know?” She asked Vel.

“No,” Vel said. “I told you I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

She looked down at Clem, so small and innocent. He looked like his father; she could tell that much already. Would Cassian have despised her if he knew why she really left? She didn’t think he would. He knew the weight of hard choices all too well.

“I don’t suppose you recovered the body?”

“I’m sorry, Bix,” Vel said.

So Cassian Andor wouldn’t get a brick. Just like Brasso. She found she couldn’t cry. Her grief left her empty and hollow. So much death and pain and suffering. And even if it ended, she knew she would never have real peace again.

But Clem would. Maybe he could grow up unafraid of Empire, a stranger to loss. Maybe. Those maybes were what you clung to in the end.

“Thank you,” she said very stiffly. “For coming.”

Vel looked at her carefully.

“I’m staying, if you don’t mind.”

“I’ll be alright.”

“It’s just until Wilmon gets here,” she said. “Please. Let me do this.”

“It’s not your fault, Vel.”

“No,” Vel agreed. “But I’m staying anyway.”

Bix nodded wordlessly. She really was grateful, or at least she probably would have been if she was capable of feeling much. There was a soft silence for a while. Eventually Clem had his fill. Bix cleaned him up and placed him in his crib. Now the silence was no longer optional. She sat at the kitchen table again, studying it intently. It came to her that she would have to tell B2 about this. That Cassian Andor, who he had waited for so patiently all these years, was not coming back.

The tears came then. Sobs she tried to stifle, not wanting to wake Clem. Vel reached across the table, clutching her hand, as she cried not just from grief but from relief. Because it was over: the torture and waiting and fear and loss. This was it. The last ordeal.

And yet she wondered if it would ever really be over.

Notes:

I really expected to end this on a bittersweet note, but it just didn’t come out that way. So I guess it’s just bitter