Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Then

Admiral Thomas “Iceman” Kazansky walked at an almost leisurely pace through the halls of the Army and Navy Academy. He didn’t mind touring the campus and giving a speech if needed; however, he detested the meetings and the fact that the main reason he was pushed to come by his CO was that it would look good when promotions came up. So, here he was taking the scenic route back to the conference room where he had a meeting with the Deans of the school and General Hathaway, when he heard a shuffling noise from a supplies closet. 

Now Tom was well aware of what kind of mischief a couple of teenagers could get up to in a supplies closet and how embarrassing an admiral finding them in any kind of precarious position could be, so he almost walked past. Except he was also well aware of how cruel children could be to each other, so he carefully opened the door.

Sitting on the floor of the supplies closet was a slip of a boy with a thick book on his lap. The boy looked up at him with big, blue eyes until it seemed to register to him who stood in front of him.

“Sir!” The boy scrambled up, attempting to be somewhat presentable.

“At ease, kid,” Ice said. God, he remembered when Bradley was this little and cute before he fully started to enter puberty last year. “What are you doing in here kid? I can think of far better places to read than here. The library, for instance.”

“Mrs. Pruitt always says I’m too noisy, so I try not to go to the library when she’s there, and my bunk mates say I’m a nerd for reading for fun.”

“Well, that’s not right.” Ice said, sadly, there was very little he could do directly for the kid. “What are you reading?”

“The NATOPS for the F-14 Tomcat. It’s the one you talked about in your speech this morning, and I really wanted to know the specs and how they compare to the F-15. Which I did start reading about last month before I got distracted by the history of the USS Lexington. Which, did you know that-” The kid suddenly cut himself off. His bright eyes dulled, and his waving hands were tucked behind his back. His head of curls dropped, and one foot started to scuff the floor. “Sorry sir, I shouldn’t bother you with my stupid fun facts.”

“What’s your name kid?”

“Evan Buckley, sir.”

“Tell you what, Mr. Buckley. You shouldn’t be reading in the supplies closet. It’s not safe. Now I don’t think this violation requires me to notify the Deans, but there should be consequences.” The kid perked up a bit at Ice’s words, but then drooped again when he mentioned consequences. Ice took out one of his cards and handed it to Evan. “When you finish reading the F-14 NATOPS, I want you to call and tell me everything you learned.”

“Really sir?” Evan asked, looking up at him with his big blue eyes.

“Really kid.”

Now

Buck sighed as he finished drying and putting away the pots and pans that Bobby used for lunch. He had been back at the 118 for a little over a month, and so far, he had been on clean-up duty. Cleaning up the rigs after a call that he didn’t get to go on, taking care of the gear after a rescue that he wasn’t a part of, cleaning up the kitchen after a meal he didn’t get to eat. He was starting to feel like Daisy from Downton Abbey. He didn’t even do this much scut work when he was a probie.

He started wiping down the counter while trying to ignore the laughter as the others were huddled around the TV playing Mario Kart. A year ago, he and Bobby would have made lunch and cleaned up together. He would have eaten with the team, sitting next to Eddie, laughing with Hen and Chim. He would have had help with the afternoon chores and would have been included in the brackets for the Mario Kart tournament.

He is pulled from his wallowing by his phone ringing. Not wanting to get any more on Bobby’s bad side, he continues to wipe the counter as he answers and tucks the phone against his ear.

“Go for Buck.”

“Lieutenant Buckley, I’m afraid this is not a social call.” Buck almost fumbles his phone at his Pops' raspy voice.

“Sir?”

“Lieutenant, you are being recalled from the Navy reserves. You are to report to Top Gun at 0700 on Monday. An ensign is en route with all the official paperwork, but I figured you could use an official call.”

“But sir!”

“Evan,” Buck snaps his mouth shut at his Pop’s serious tone, “I would not recall you if I did not need you.”

“But it’s been months,” Buck protested. He had long since stopped pretending to clean, instead focusing all his efforts on trying to stay in LA without saying too much in this setting. He ran his free hand through his hair, maybe he could go to the roof... Although that was just asking for the wrath of Bobby. 

“Nonsense, you logged your flight hours for the month.”

“Yeah, but that was the first time since… well..”

“You logged all the flight hours allowed by your care team when doing physical therapy for the crush, and you are off blood thinners now. Even though they may still be in your system, you are a certified EMT who has training in multiple ways to quickly and efficiently stop the bleeding. There will definitely be some waivers you will need to sign, but we both know you’ve flown with worse.”

“But…”

“I need you, Evan.” Buck snapped his mouth shut. It had been a long time since he was needed. (It had been a long time since he was wanted.) “Yes, your flight skills are an asset, but this is going to be a very high-profile, classified mission that needs to be flown by the best and taught by the best, and I can’t be there to help smooth the tempers of stubborn aviators. While I do greatly admire Admiral Simpson, I worry he does not have the mindset that will see this through with the best outcome.”

“Okay,” Buck sighed, defeated. “Is there anything you can tell me?”

“Not much over an unsecured line, but let’s say it’s looking to be a bit of a family reunion.”

“What?”

“If you get to town by Friday morning, I can tell you more, but I have to fly out that evening to Pearl.”

“Alright, I’ll see you soon.”

“I love you, kiddo; see you soon.” Ice hung up the phone before Buck could reply. He leaned forward on the counter, bracing his forearms on the surface he had just cleaned.

Fuck.

He thought he was done with the Navy. Sure, he still had to show up to base once a month when medically able as part of the reserves, but he thought that after his last mission, after his squad's burnout, he was done. It was only going over his options with Ice that convinced him not to turn in his wings completely, and that it would be better in the long run to transfer to the reserves. Ice had promised him that he could finish out in the reserves unless Buck changed his mind or Ice absolutely needed him, so to pull him now… 

Fuck.

“Are you okay, Buck? That seemed like some phone call.” Buck looked up to see that Hen had abandoned the game and had wandered over to him.

“Yeah, it’ll be fine.” He told her, scrubbing his hand over his face, which probably did nothing to convince her that it was, in fact, fine.

“Are you sure?” The others had wandered over as well. Trying and failing to look like they weren’t eavesdropping. Eddie was looking at him with that stone-faced anger that had become oh so familiar since the investigation into the 118 that he had instigated in his attempt to get his job back. Chimney looked on curiously, ever the gossip. And Bobby… Well, Bobby was looking at him with what he had taken to call his cold, captain look. It was the look he used when at big scenes or when giving interviews. It was remarkably similar to his Pop’s Iceman look. Buck was about to respond when they were interrupted.

“Lt. Buckley, sir!” The ensign that Ice had warned him about was at the top of the stairs, saluting.

“At ease, Ensign.” He said, snapping into his “officer persona” as Coteye had dubbed it. “I believe you have something for me.”

“Sir!” the ensign said, marching over and handing him a manila folder.

“Thank you. Dismissed.” The ensign saluted once more before making an about-face and exiting the loft.

“What the hell was that?”

“Who was that?”

“What is going on?”

Buck ignored them as he opened the folder and shuffled through the papers. It looked like Ice had provided multiple copies of everything, which made his life significantly easier. He started reorganizing them into a system that would make it easier to get his affairs in order. He needed some sticky notes and maybe a clipboard.

“Buck?” Bobby’s single word cut through the multitude of other questions.

“Oh, are you guys done talking at me?” He asked, looking up from his papers. Hen and Chim flinched at his words. “But to answer some of your questions, that was Ensign Rodriguez, at least according to his uniform. He was dropping off my deployment paperwork, which is also what the phone call was about. Speaking of, Captain, this is for you.” He said, handing over a portion of the papers. “I will need to take most of these over to HQ, and you will get the more detailed, official LAFD paperwork from HR at a later date.” He starts putting the cleaning supplies away while steadfastly trying to avoid looking at those around him. “I’m going to go ahead and clean out my locker today. I might be able to swing working my twelve-hour shift tomorrow, especially since I’m man behind, but I’ll talk to the chief about getting a float in until you can hire a new guy.” 

He finally built up the nerve to look up at his team, only to see the shocked and stunned looks on everyone's faces. Bobby was frantically flipping through the papers Buck had given him, and Eddie was clenching and unclenching his fists.

“What do you mean you’re being deployed?” Chimney asked.

“Exactly as I said, Chimney,” Buck said, rolling his eyes, “The Navy says I have to go, so I’m going because I am not ending up in Navy jail and losing my pension.”

“I didn’t know you were in the Navy.” Hen pried. Motherfucker, Buck could not deal with this right now. He had enough shit going on without dealing with his team. Former team. Whatever. His thinning patience was going to snap sooner rather than later at this rate.

“Yeah, well, you also didn’t know I had a sister until she broke into my apartment. I’m a pretty private person.”

“We literally knew every detail of your sex life for like sixteen months!”

“Yeah, but that’s just sex, not like anything personal and important.”

“Buck…” Hen started voice softening with concern before he interrupted her.

“I know. I know. It wasn’t healthy and was probably an externalization of my internal cry for help after several very big life changes. Luckily, someone did actually notice the cry for help and got me hooked up and working on it with a therapist.” Buck shrugged, but continued before anyone shot off some smart ass comment about his past therapist experiences. “Now if we’re done with the Spanish Inquisition, I’ve got stuff to do and I’m getting whiplash from having an actual conversation with any of you for the first time in months.” And with that, Buck bounded down the stairs to the locker rooms and within five minutes, he exited the fire station with a full duffle bag and small pep in his step. He barely even noticed the stares of his soon-to-be former teammates.

Chapter Text

Then

Ice grinned as he hung up the phone. It had been several weeks since he had met Evan in that supply closet, and only a few days passed when he got his first phone call. The kid had been so nervous at first, but a few questions here and there, and the kid was talking a mile a minute. Jabbering on about everything he had read and learned. Since that first phone call, he had asked Evan to call if he ever needed anything or if he just wanted to talk, and like clockwork every Monday, Evan called and told him all about his week.

It was easily one of his favorite times of the week. Right up there with his phone calls with Mav, Carol, and Bradley if he was out of town. Speaking of…

“What’s got you grinning?” Mav asks, leaning against the door to Ice’s home office.

“I just got off the phone with Evan.” Ice explains. He had told Mav all about the boy he had met on his trip to the Army and Navy Academy.

“Oh? How is he doing?”

“Good, good, he’s been on an animal kick recently,” Ice paused and frowned thoughtfully. “I just- worry, I guess.”

Pete hummed thoughtfully as he perched on the edge of the desk. He didn’t say anything. Knowing how important it was for Tom to gather all his thoughts before voicing them.

“Evan has called me every Monday for six weeks, and while phone rules are less strict than at basic, students are only allotted a certain amount of phone time to keep everything orderly, and if I’m not mistaken, Evan is using all of his allotted time to talk to me. He doesn’t really talk about his family, but when he does, it reminds me of well, me. Stuck in a boarding school out of sight and out of mind. Only pulled out for holidays and special occasions where they could show me off to all their friends and colleagues.”

“Well, the first thing you’re going to do is the next time he calls you, start making comments. Things like ‘I’m sure your Dad finds that just as fascinating as I do.’ and you gauge his reactions. Then you start with the questions about his family and then the questions about home.”

“And then what?”

“We’ll figure out from there.”

Now

The last forty-eight hours had been crazy for Buck. He stopped by Chief Alonzo's office to submit his Navy paperwork and do the LAFD paperwork. The Chief was very understanding of the situation and told Buck that he already had a floater who could take on the remainder of his shifts until a more permanent solution could be found. That was two worries off his plate.

He stopped by his apartment management office, paid the next couple of months' rent, and double-checked the utilities' auto payment. 

Finally, he made it back to the loft where he texted all his close friends and family in LA to swing by when they had time. He pulled out his duffle and his uniform bag, but that was as far as he got before Maddie let herself inside.

“Judging by how soon you got here, I'm assuming Chimney told you?” he asked while sorting his clothing. 

“Yeah, imagine my surprise getting off my shift to find half a dozen text messages from Howie about you getting deployed.” Buck cringed at his sister’s words.

“I did text you to come over as soon as I got home so that I could tell you in person,” He explained. Maddie hummed in answer and started to make them both a cup of coffee.

“I thought you were done with the Navy, that you were finishing out in the reserves.” Maddie finally stated after they each had their cup in front of them.

“Pops told me when I switched to reserves that I wouldn’t be called back to action unless I asked or he needed me, and well, he needs me.” Buck shrugged. He took a sip of coffee. “Besides, maybe it was time. I’ve thought of going back before, but then the 118 became such a close, tight-knit group that I didn’t want to leave and start over with a new squad. Then you moved here and started to put down roots, and while you and I have had some problems with the Daniel secret and the push to stop firefighting, but I loved having you in my life and being in yours.”

“You still talk to them though, right?” Maddie asked and then clarified, “Your Pops, Dad, and Bradley? I don’t remember any of them coming by after the truck bombing.”

“Yeah, um, Bradley and I haven’t been in close contact for a while now. We send cards and sometimes call around Christmas and Birthdays. Dad, Pops, and I talk more frequently, but since you, Eddie, and Bobby were at the hospital right away, they weren’t notified until I called them. They both wanted to come as soon as they could, but Pops was in DC for some NATO thing, and Dad was tied up with some classified test pilot thing, so I told them to finish wrapping things up because it wasn’t like I was going anywhere.”

“Buck…” Maddie started, but he interrupted her.

“It’s okay, Maddie. They called around, and Uncle Slider and Aunt Sarah came up for a bit. I’m actually surprised you didn’t run into them. Then the rest of my flyboy uncles had a call rotation. Anyway, Pops stopped by on his way from DC to Pearl, and Dad came by when he could get away for a bit, cleaned out my fridge, and made some freezer meals.”

“I was wondering who did that. I thought it was Athena or Bobby.”

“Nah, that was Dad, and then they both came up after I had been out of the hospital for a few weeks.”

“That’s good. That’s good,” Maddie said, breathing a sigh of relief. “So why does Tom need you now?”

“I don’t know for sure. He said some things on the phone that don’t quite make sense, but he couldn’t get too detailed over the open line, so he’ll tell me what he can when I get down to Miramar.”

“Okay,” Maddie said, defeated, “you’ll call right? And send postcards?”

“Of course, now why don’t you grab one of the Trader Joe shopping bags and rid me of my perishables?”

A little more than half an hour later, Maddie was leaving with a bag of groceries and a promise to meet up for one last Buckley Brunch before he left. He had returned to packing when he heard an announcing knock before the front door opened.

“Buckaroo? Are you here? You’ve caused quite a stir.” Athena said from the entryway. He ran down the loft stairs.

“What have you heard? You must have only just gotten off shift.”

“I did, and when I answered a med call with the 118, I asked my wonderful, well-meaning, fool of a husband where you were, if he was still making you man behind. He said you had left early to file paperwork at headquarters because you had been recalled from the Navy reserves.” She explained with a raised eyebrow. “I told him that certainly explained why I got a cryptic text message from you to stop by the loft whenever I had a spare moment.”

Damn, why did all the women in his life have to be so scary?

“Yeah, I sent that text out to everyone who wasn’t at the firehouse when my papers came in. I figured you deserved to hear in person that I was leaving for an undetermined amount of time.”

“Well, go on then,” Athena said, leaning against the counter, “I’d like to hear it straight from the horse's mouth.”

“I hope you don’t have any plans this evening then,” Buck said as he grabbed two wine glasses from the cabinet, “because it's a long story that requires alcohol and I have half a box of wine that needs to be finished before I leave.”

“Sounds like my calendar just got filled,” Athena replied, taking a sip from her wine glass.

So he told her everything. He told her how his parents had shipped him off the first chance they got, and how he met Admiral Kazinsky. He told her how he was invited over for spring break and then a week in summer, and then that one week turned into two, which turned into a month.

He told her all the good stuff. Things about Bradley and Mama Carole. He told her about baseball games, learning to play the piano, and trips to the beach. He told her about reading with Pops in the home office and tinkering with Dad in the garage.

He told her the bad as well. Sitting in the hospital for hours at a time, PTSD fueled nightmares, and MIA notices. He told her of the fight, that he and Pops had caught the tail end of between Dad and Bradley, and how Bradley stormed out, and no one had properly talked to him since.

He told of his first career. He told her of asking Uncle Merlin to keep his acceptance to the Naval Academy on the down low so that he could do BUDs before plebe summer. He told her of Jake and Javy and how they were thick as thieves until the Navy had sent them their separate ways after flight school. He told her of deployments, and Top Gun, and seeing Bradley once in a blue moon when they ended up at the same base. He told her of his first squad, of his wingman Buzzkill, and of the awful mission that led to the death and disbanding of his squad.

He told her of being 26 without a purpose and how he hopped around a bit before settling in LA to become a firefighter. He told her of the postcards to Maddie and Bradley, of his true parents’ wedding after the DADT repeal, and Pop’s cancer scare. He told her of rebuilding his relationship with Maddie and how it had almost been ruined when he did a deep dive into his medical history and found out they had a brother named Daniel who died of juvenile leukemia, and his existence had been kept secret from him.

He told her of his struggles mentally and physically with the truck bombing. He told her of his PT and of training for his recertifications, and the first time he got in a cockpit after the accident. He told her of his struggles to go back to active duty after the embolism and the nightmares from the tsunami.

He told her of his continued struggle to get back to active duty after the Navy cleared him, and how an ambulance chaser gave him his card. He told her of his talk with his Pops and how he went to the union and HR for an outside perspective and ended up starting a mini investigation. He told her that he got his job but by the time he started back up a lot of feelings had been hurt and the rumor mill had not worked in his favor and his quest to get his job back with the union had been rebranded as a lawsuit and he was just making a mountain out of a molehill.

He finished with the day's events of getting the call from his Pops and Ensign Rodriguez showing up. He told her of his talk with the 118 and the Fire Chief and with Maddie. 

“Well baby,” Athena said once he got to the end of his story, “First of all, thank you for trusting me with all that, and second of all, I’m glad you are leaving because it sounds like you need a mental break from everything that has happened here in LA over the last year and it seems that the rest of the 118 needs some time to sit and think about what it would mean to lose you.”

“Yeah, well, we’ll see,” he scoffed. He had been out of commission for a year, and it seemed like they couldn’t get further away from him.

“Well, even if they don’t know a good thing when it leaves, I do, and you are always welcome at my table and under my roof. You hear me?”

“Yes ma'am.”

“Good. Now I want to hear from you when you’re gone, okay?” He opened his mouth to protest, but she steamrolled past him, “I know you are a grown man with two wonderful and loving fathers, but baby, you have been mine since you were a probie borrowing the fire truck for questionable reasons.” Buck blushed at the reminder of his Buck 1.0 days. “And after the year we’ve had, I’m not going to skirt around the issue anymore. I refuse to live with regrets. You are my child just as much as May and Harry,” She held up her hand to stop any protests, “Now I understand you are a grown man who has your Pops and Dad and Mama Carole, so I would welcome being your Mama ‘Thena, but if you just want a friend that’s okay too. Either way though, I want updates on your life while you’re out being a hotshot fighter pilot.”

Luckily, the rest of his goodbyes were not as emotionally charged as his talks with Maddie and Athena. Karen and Carla already knew his past as a naval aviator, as it was never something he intentionally hid, preferring instead to not advertise it, so it had naturally come up when talking to both of them. Karen loved to quiz him on the practicality of some of her hypothetical theories, and he may not be red tapes worst nightmare like Carla, but he knew his way around the VAs website and office and had helped point her in the right direction when she was working with a former Marine back when they first met. The kids were mostly just happy to see him since it had been so long since they had seen each other. They were all a bit upset that he was leaving, but that had been overshadowed at the moment by the coolness of him being a fighter pilot.

Still, he didn’t think he had a break mentally or physically until he was in his jeep on the way down to San Diego. Even then though, he spent the ride thinking about why his Pops had pulled him for this mission.

“I’m home!” he announced as he walked into his childhood home. He kicked his shoes off and dropped his duffle on the floor before making his way further inside.

“In the office,” his Pops called back. He made his way to the home office, where he threw himself down in what was unofficially his chair. His Pops looked him over the edge of his reading glasses. “You shouldn’t slouch like that, Evan. You’re just damaging your spine.”

“Yeah, yeah,” He said while arranging himself in a more upright position, “So what’s going on?”

“Really?”

Evan sighed, “Hi Pops, how are you? I’m good, the drive down was fine. Too much construction, as always. Why did you recall me to Top Gun?”

“You’re such a little shit.”

“Well, I learned from the best!”

“Don’t I know it. You’re too much like your Dad.”

“I was actually thinking of Uncle Slider, but that works too.”

“Anyway, this is why I brought you here.”

“Because of Dad and Uncle Slider?”

“Let me start at the beginning,” Pops said, taking his reading glasses and folding his hands on the desk. It was the pose he took before any serious conversation. “This is classified information that the rest of your detachment will be getting at a later time.”

“I understand, sir.”

“We have received intelligence of a uranium plant being built in Siberia. The plant is based in a valley surrounded by SAMs, and there are patrols of fifth-generation jets from the nearby base.”

Buck sucked in a breath those were not good odds, “How long until it’s operational?”

“We estimate about three weeks.”

“Okay, so why do you need me? I’m a good pilot, but I haven’t been active duty for three years.”

“Your dad is the only person who has successfully run missions that deal with all three of this mission’s parameters: low altitude trench runs, steep inclines at high Gs, and dogfighting.” Damn, this mission was looking more and more like it was going to be a shit show. “To fly this mission, I have pulled the  Best the Navy has to offer, the cream of the crop. Not just Top Gun graduates but the Top Gun or those who came close to it.”

“Bradley,” Buck whispered, “Fuck.”

Ice barked out a short laugh, “ My sentiments exactly, and  Between having a dozen cocky aviators all on one mission and the whole issue with your dad and your brother, I need to keep everything from going off the rails.”

“ Okay, we'll come back to that,” Buck said, “ But how is this not a huge conflict of interest?” 

“ Well, legally, None of you are related to each other, and the NOK connections for this mission are already an absolute mess.”

“ Okay, so we're all on this mission on a technicality? Got it. Why am I here again?  Is it seriously just to keep my brother from punching a superior officer?”

“ Well, I would hope Bradley has better self-control now than he did fifteen years ago, but you would know him better than I, so…” Ice shrugged, “ What I need you here for is to help pull these individuals into a working team in three weeks.”

“ Well, shit pop you can now ask for much do you?”

“ I'm serious Evan,” Ice said, “ You have the uncanny ability to pull people together and make a family out of nothing.”

“What? No- I-”

“ You've done it time and again. You adopted Bradley and Carol as a child. You did it in the Academy in flight school with some of your age mates. You did it with your squad, and then again with the 118 when he became a firefighter. Hell, just last night you told me that your police sergeant said that she's seen you as one of her own children for almost as long as she’s known you. It's a skill that I never had, but your dad has it in spades. Normally, I wouldn't worry too much about it with your Dad teaching the mission, but with the added stress of Bradley and Admiral Simpson most likely fighting him the whole time, he's gonna need some help.”

“I’m not one hundred percent sold on this idea,” Buck said, running his hand through his hair, “but I recognize the need for this mission to run as smoothly as possible, so what else can you tell me?”

Chapter Text

Then

Dear Maddie,

Thank you for the care package. The cookies were sooooo good. I may or may not have used some to bribe my bunkmates. Either way, Thomson is much nicer than he was at the beginning of the year. 

How are you?? How's nursing school? Is it hard? I was in medical last week, and Nurse Smith said that organic chemistry almost made her quit. Do you have to do organic chemistry? Is it really hard? I tried to read a textbook on it in the library, but there were a lot of big scientific terms that I had trouble understanding. Mr. Tom said I would have to get a solid base in regular chemistry and biology before organic chemistry would make much sense.

Oh yeah, I met an Admiral. Admiral Thomas “Iceman” Kazansky. He found me reading in a place I wasn't supposed to be and then had me give a report on everything I read. He's really nice and fun to talk to. He doesn't ever say that I'm boring or talk too much.

He did ask me why I called him so much when he talked last week, but he meant it in a shouldn’t you be talking to your parents instead of me, but once I explained that our parents never really want to talk to me or see me and that’s why I’m at boarding school, well that and because I’m too much to handle and it’s very hard on them, then Mr. Tom said it was okay and he liked talking to me he was just worried about me.

And get this! Mr. Tom’s dad did the same thing to him too! That’s why he was so worried, because he remembers being so lonely at boarding school too. And I got to talk to his wingman Mr. Mav, and he grew up in foster care, and he told me he had some really good foster parents and some really bad foster parents. I told them what you tell me, they’re not bad people, just bad parents. That seemed to make them a little sad, but then Mr. Mav told me about his godson Bradley, and how he’s only a few years older than me, and how he’s teaching Bradley how to fix up his dad’s old Bronco. I wish I had someone teach me how to fix an old car.

Anyway, I still don’t know what I’m doing for spring break. It’s too bad our spring breaks are different weeks. I think Mom and Dad are going on a ten-day Caribbean cruise or something.

Love you,

Evan

Maddie finished rereading the letter from Evan for the third time. She had so many questions for her little brother. Like, why did he have to go to medical? What was up with this Tom and Mav? On one hand, she was glad he had an adult who cared and would listen to him. Lord knows their parents wouldn’t, and between nursing school and Doug, she barely had time for herself. On the other hand, a strange man was spending time with her little brother. Maybe she should head out to California for her spring break after all.

Now

More or less

Bobby looked up as he heard a phone ring. It was Buck’s, but he was multitasking, cleaning while tucking the phone between his head and shoulder. He felt a little bad for making Buck clean after lunch, especially since he didn’t get to eat anything, but maybe if life was a little hard for him, maybe if the job was not what he was used to, then maybe he would leave and be safe. If not well, there was limited danger he could get into in the firehouse as the man behind. 

“But sir!” He's pulled from his musings as Buck's protest echoes across the loft. Several others are drawn from what they are doing as well. Buck has stopped cleaning, and Bobby almost reprimands him, but the look on Buck's face gives him pause. The phone call seems important. He might be talking to one of his doctors or someone from the union.

“But it's been months,” Buck tells the person on the other end of the line. By now, he's gotten the attention of everyone in the loft, and Bobby is hoping maybe it's Buck’s care team putting him back on light duty. Buck turns, so Bobby doesn't hear much of the rest of the conversation.  It wouldn't matter much anyway, Bobby is rehearsing his ‘That's too bad, champ, maybe in another few months’ speech when Buck tells them the news. He doesn't want to come off as too happy that Buck will be gone, but he also knows the young man will get prickly if he senses even a hint of pity. 

“Alright, I’ll see you soon,” Buck hangs up the phone and leans defeated over the counter. He's debating what to say, but Hen and Chim had migrated closer to the kitchen, and she beats him to it.

“Are you okay, Buck? That seemed like some phone call.”

“Yeah, it’ll be fine,” Buck said, but he scrubbed his hand over his face, exhausted and defeated. He almost felt bad for the kid, but it was for the best.

“Are you sure?” God bless Hen. He didn't think any of them could ask without Buck snapping at them. Hell, looking at Eddie, it seemed he might snap, and then they would have the grocery store scene all over again. The little standoff was interrupted by a stranger in some form of military uniform announcing themselves at the top of the stairs. 

“Lt. Buckley, sir!” That was weird. Chim was the Lieutenant on shift as far as he knew. Buck hadn't taken the lieutenant's exam. He went to correct the man, but Buck was speaking before Bobby even opened his mouth.

“At ease, Ensign. I believe you have something for me.” That wasn't right. Buck wasn't military. Well, he was like the national guard or something, or was before the bombing, but he didn't serve. Not like Eddie or Tommy did. The Ensign (what even was an Ensign?) handed over a thick manila folder. “Thank you. Dismissed.” Buck said while opening the folder.

The loft erupted in noise as everyone asked their questions all at once. Questions that were running through Bobby’s mind, but when he opened his mouth, the only thing that came out was a single word.

“Buck?”

With that, the others in the loft quieted, and Buck looked up from the papers that he had been shuffling around. Other than a singular raised eyebrow, Buck had an impressively blank look on his face. “Oh, are you guys done talking at me?” Several of them flinched at Buck’s tone. “But to answer some of your questions, that was Ensign Rodriguez, at least according to his uniform. He was dropping off my deployment paperwork, which is also what the phone call was about. Speaking of, Captain, this is for you.”

Bobby flipped through the papers Buck had handed him, looking for an answer, hoping this was all a joke or a misunderstanding. The more he flipped through the papers, the more the pit in his stomach grew.

The United States Navy… requested by Admiral Kazansky… special detachment… Naval Air Station: North Island… report to Admiral Simpson

Nononononono

This couldn’t be right.

Buck was supposed to be safe.

He needed to be safe.

Bobby was trying to keep him safe.

Buck was still talking, still moving. He was saying something about shifts and paperwork. 

Oh God, Oh God, Oh God

Bobby flipped through the papers again and again, hoping in vain that something would change. Then Chimney’s shrill voice cut through the fog in  Bobby’s brain, asking the question they were probably all thinking.

“What do you mean you’re being deployed?” 

“Exactly as I said, Chimney,” Buck said with the same tone of voice he used when out on the particularly stupid calls, and oh God, this was it. Buck was leaving, and there was nothing he could do about it.

*****************************

Eddie was not having a good day. It wasn't bad; they had a few interesting calls, Bobby made a good lunch, there was only moderate traffic this morning, but it still wasn’t good. Although truth be told, he wasn’t exactly having a good year. It was just one catastrophe happening after another. All huge, world-changing events that he had no control over, and no way to mitigate the effects. 

He couldn’t fight his son's nightmares or protect his wife from a drunk driver or prevent a psychopath with a vendetta from planting a bomb and blowing up his best friend. 

He was helpless.

What kind of war hero could save an entire squadron under enemy fire, take three bullets, and recover, but couldn't protect his own family? 

The underground fight clubs that Lena introduced him to helped. He always felt less angry and more centered after a night in the ring, and the money didn't hurt either. But then last week, he missed a fight because Chris had a nightmare right before he was going to leave, and the next morning, he woke up in his son's room with a text from Lena asking if he was alright because SWAT had raided the fight he was supposed to be at. Since then, he has been trying to lay low and stick to the punching bags in the gym. Maybe in a month or two, he would go back, but for now, his life was falling apart enough without jail time and CPS added in the mix.

So yeah Eddie was having a shitty day by association. Not even Bobby’s lunch and an uninterrupted Mario Kart tournament could turn it around. 

His day only got worse when Buck’s phone went off and he obnoxiously answered it. The least he could do was go downstairs or to the roof instead of taking is call in the middle of the kitchen. (When did everything about Buck become annoying? They used to be attached at the hip, and now that they barely spent any time together, it was like his very existence was a knife in Eddie’s heart.)

His thoughts were interrupted by Hen abandoning the game and making her way over to where Buck was leaning over the kitchen counter, “Are you okay, Buck? That seemed like some phone call.”

“Yeah, it’ll be fine,” Buck told her, standing up and rubbing his hand over his face, a gesture which meant things were most certainly not fine. Geeze, one lousy phone call and Buck acts like the world is falling apart, and then he has the audacity to lie to them about it. Dios, it wasn’t like he was the only one to have troubles.

“Lt. Buckley, sir!” Eddie whirled around to see a man in a Navy uniform saluting at the top of the stairs.

“At ease, Ensign. I believe you have something for me.” Buck said. What the hell? Buck wasn’t Navy. Buck wasn’t Military at all. Buck would have told him. Wouldn’t he? Well, he did hear from the grapevine that Buck was a washed-out Navy SEAL, and that was why he was hired to be Buck’s impulse control. But apparently, the Ensign didn’t get the memo because he handed Buck a folder and then saluted and left when Buck dismissed him.

“What the hell was that?” He asked. Chim and Hen were throwing their own questions at Buck, who was steadfastly ignoring them. Bobby put an end to the questions with just a signal word.

“Buck?”

Buck looked up from the papers that he had been shuffling around, and Dios, he was giving them the disappointed parent stare, the one he used to give Christopher when he tried to swindle video game time before his homework was complete. “Oh, are you guys done talking at me?” Eddie reared back at the venom in Buck’s tone. “But to answer some of your questions, that was Ensign Rodriguez, at least according to his uniform. He was dropping off my deployment paperwork, which is also what the phone call was about. Speaking of, Captain, this is for you.” Buck handed over a portion of the papers from the folder to Bobby. 

Eddie’s mind had gone blank. Deployed. Buck was being deployed. Buck just got back to the firehouse, and now he was leaving again. He was being deployed. Buck was going to be gone long enough that he was going to clean out his locker. Buck was going to be gone for so long that he was talking about Bobby hiring a replacement for him. Buck’s spot had been covered by Lena and various floats for almost a year, but now he was talking about Bobby permanently replacing him.

“I didn’t know you were in the Navy.” Hen’s prying statement snapped Eddie out of his thoughts. Because, yeah, why didn’t anyone know about his service? Why didn’t Buck tell him? Sure, Eddie didn’t like talking about his time overseas, but if he had known about Buck being in the Navy, they could have commiserated. 

“Yeah, well, you also didn’t know I had a sister until she broke into my apartment. I’m a pretty private person,” Buck said so bluntly that Eddie felt it cut through him because Buck was right. If this day had proved anything, it was that they didn’t truly know Buck.

“We literally knew every detail of your sex life for like sixteen months!” Okay, Chim raised a fair point. Eddie wasn’t even here for what had been dubbed the Buck 1.0 era, and he still knew things. Hell, when Buck and Ali were dating, Buck told Eddie everything that was going on in the relationship, and he means EVERYTHING.

“Yeah, but that’s just sex, not like anything personal and important.” And that statement hit him right in the soul. It could just be his catholic guilt, but there was no way he was the only one torn up by that statement.

“Buck…” Okay, Hen also found an issue with that. Maybe Buck would stop saying things that cut him to the core. Buck hated upsetting Hen. They all hated upsetting Hen.

“I know. I know. It wasn’t healthy and was probably an externalization of my internal cry for help after several very big life changes. Luckily, someone did actually notice the cry for help and got me hooked up and working on it with a therapist. Now, if we’re done with the Spanish Inquisition, I’ve got stuff to do and I’m getting whiplash from having an actual conversation with any of you for the first time in months.”

With those final crushing words, Buck bounded down the stairs, and a few minutes later, he exited the locker room with a full duffle bag, looking happier than Eddie had seen him in months. 

Eddie had been having a pretty shitty year, and as he watched the old, well loved Jeep pull out of the parking lot, he didn’t think that would be changing anytime soon.

Chapter Text

Then

Mav smiled as he watched his usually cool and collected partner silently lose his shit. Ice was pacing through the office, hands clasped behind his back, except for when he was running them through his hair. Something big must have happened to have so visibly upset the stoic man, and while Mav was slightly worried about what that something big might be, he couldn’t help but admire how cute his partner was when frustrated.  His musings are interrupted by the phone ringing. He reaches over and grabs it before Ice can make his way back across the room.

“Kazansky residence.”

“Am I speaking to Mr. Kazansky?” A woman’s voice says on the other end.

“You are not. May I enquire into whom I am speaking to?”

“I’m Maddie Buckley.” Comes the terse reply.

“Buckley, you say?” Mav asks his smile becoming slightly more predatory, and Tom whirls to face him from where he had resumed pacing, “You wouldn’t happen to be related to an Evan Buckley, would you?”

“Yes, he’s my little brother, and I want to know why a strange man is talking to my baby over the phone every week.” Came the very fierce reply, and Mav was confused.

“Wait, is he your brother or is he your baby?” 

“Is Mr. Kazansky home?” she asked, completely ignoring him. Ice reached over him and plucked the phone right out of his hand.

“This is Admiral Kazansky. To whom am I speaking?” Mav leaned in close so that he could catch the whole conversation. Sadly, they only had one landline for security purposes.

“My name is Maddie Buckley. Why are you talking to my baby brother? Are you some kind of pervert?” Mav tried to cover his snort with his hand. God, this girl was a little spitfire.

“You’re Evan’s older sister,” the tension in Ice’s shoulders seemed to release, “the one who is studying to be a nurse in Boston.”

“Yes, that is me. Now, for the love of God, would someone tell me what your intentions are with my brother?”

“Ms. Buckley, I understand from your perspective that this must all seem strange, but I do not have any nefarious intentions with your brother.”

“That’s exactly what someone with nefarious intentions would say,” She scoffed.

“I understand, Ms. Buckley, so let me be completely frank with you. When I met Evan, he seemed to be the victim of bullying by his peers and possibly some staff members. As I did not witness any of these events, I only had your brother’s words and his actions. I elected not to tell the deans, as it would be Evan's word against theirs, which could lead to greater trouble for him in the long run. I told him to call me and give a report on what he was reading as a consequence of reading somewhere potentially hazardous. He was so excited to have someone listen to him that I told him that he was welcome to call me again. Your brother is brilliant, Ms. Buckley, and obviously starved for attention, which I realized when he used all of his allotted phone time to call me and tell me about his latest encyclopedic deep dive.”

There was silence for a moment before Maddie asked, “You are the only one he talks to?”

“Yes, it does appear that way.”

“That Hag!” Maddie growled. She then took a deep breath and in a much calmer manner, continued, “Mr. Kazansky, Evan will not be going home for his spring break. I am planning on flying out for the last few days of my Spring break that overlap with his, and I would like to meet with you if possible.”

Now

Buck entered the Hard Deck just as the evening rush was starting to pick up. He had spent the last couple of days arranging his accommodations and reacquainting himself with the base. However, with the mission due to start tomorrow, he had made his way to the one place where he would most likely run into his teammates. 

He saw his dad sitting at the bar, talking to Aunt Penny. He would have to go say hi at some point, but first, his attention was drawn to the pool tables, where he saw some of the Navy’s most obnoxious aviators.

“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” He said as he approached the group.

“Didja!”  Hangman and Coyote greeted. They exchanged brief hugs, slapping each other on the back. “What the hell are you doing here, man?” Hangman asked, “I thought you were living it up in LA as a civilian?”

“Well, from what I heard, they called the best of the best from Top Gun for this mission.” He said, snagging the pool cue from Hangman.

“No shit? You’re back?”

“I’m back.”

“Are you going to introduce us, Bagman?”

Jake rolled his eyes, “Didja this is Lt. Natasha “Phoenix” Trace, and with her is Payback and Fanboy, and that’s Bob. Guys, this is Evan “Didja” Buckley, who is so good they pulled him from the reserves for this mission.”

“Damn,” Payback said, “You thinking about coming back full-time after this mission?”

“We’ll see how the mission goes. Now I’m going to go grab a round while you guys finish this game.”

“The old man at the bar broke one of Penny’s rules, so the rounds on him,” Hangman said, taking the pool cue back from Didja. He laughed on his way to the bar.

“So Dad, I hear that our round is on you. Is that right, Aunt Penny?”

“That is correct, Bambi,” Penny says with a smirk.

“Penny,” Evan whines, “I’m twenty-seven, you can’t keep calling me Bambi.”

“I still stand by that your callsign should have been Bambi, and I refuse to change my mind.”

“Dad,” He tries.

“Don’t look at me, kiddo. I’m already in enough trouble. Speaking of, though, what did you do to get pulled from reserves for this mission and why didn't I know about it until two hours ago?”

“I'm not in trouble. I'm here to keep Bradley in line if needed and help you make a cohesive team so you can focus on actually teaching. At least that's how Pops explained it to me before he left for Pearl.”

“Really?” Mav asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Ask Pops,” Evan said with a shrug. “To be honest I thought he would have already told you. D+ old married couple you are?”

Penny burst out in laughter as his Dad snorted beer through his nose. “Like I said, sweetheart, I’m already in trouble.” They were interrupted by some commotion coming from the pool tables. Evan turned and saw his brother getting a pool cue to the stomach. “Speaking of, I haven’t seen my brother in over three years, so I’m going to go say hi,” He said with a smirk.

“Remember the rules, kiddo,” Mav replied.

“Don’t let a verbal altercation turn into an argument. Don’t let an argument turn physical, and if it does turn physical don’t be the instigator,” Evan dutifully repeated.

“All right kid. Don’t stay out too late, and you better make time to catch up with your old man soon,” His dad said.

“I’ll have someone bring a tray over since the group has doubled in size,” Penny added. He shot a quick thanks as he bounded across the room.

“bbbrrRRRAAAAAADDDDDlllllllllllllllEEEEYYYYY” He shouted in a sing-song way when he was a few feet away. He saw his brother straighten up and stiffen as if to keep from turning to face him. The joke's on him, though. Evan had years of practice in getting Bradley to pay attention to him. He stopped just behind and slightly to the right of his brother and started bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley  Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley Bradley.”

Evan had a pretty big lung capacity and could go on for a while. He took an exaggeratedly loud and deep breath.

“BradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradleyBradley.”

“Jesus fucking Christ! What do you want?!” Bradley whirled around to face him. Huh, Bradley was way out of practice in dealing with Evan because he hadn’t even gotten to the point where he would say Bradley’s name in different tones and pitches or the point where he pulled out the nicknames.

Buck, however, was not out of practice. He hunched his shoulders and did everything he could to seem smaller. He put on the biggest, saddest puppy dog eyes he could. He and Chris had worked on this look together in the mirror, and they had a 93.7% success rate when used. 

“I missed you,” He said with a quiver in his voice.

“Fucking hell,” Bradley sighed covering his face with his hands and then pulling them down, “I missed you too. What the hell do you want?”

“Why do you think I want something?”

“Because you always want something when you are annoying.”

“I just want to talk to you,” Evan said, pouting to hide the grin at the bomb he was about to drop. “We haven’t talked since I called you for your birthday like ten months ago, and that was like a five-minute conversation. Like, so much has happened since then. I almost died,  I got a new apartment, I almost died, I broke some national records, I almost died, got a new service medal, my captain tried to kill me, I became a platinum member at the LA Zoo.”

“What?!?” The shout came from more than just Bradley.

“Oh, I became a platinum member of the LA Zoo. If you have a season pass and meet a bunch of other criteria, you can become a platinum member, and there are some really cool perks that come with it. I don’t know if I actually met all the criteria or if the ticket lady decided to bump me up when I visited after the tsunami, and she recognized me.”

“Didja,” Coyote interrupted, “We heard about the fire truck, but you listed at least two other times you almost died, and your captain trying to kill you.”

“Okay, that last bit was a bit of an exaggeration,” Evan admitted, “If I had taken his advice and died or been injured, and if it went to court it would have been manslaughter charges at most.”

“What the hell is this about a fire truck?” Bradley interjected, and yeah, that was his angry-worried voice.

“Oh, some kid planted a bomb on our truck to try and take out our captain, but he was suspended, so I was sitting in his spot, and when the bomb went off, the whole truck landed on my leg.”

“What the hell, man?” Fanboy asked.

“Yeah, ten out of ten do not recommend easily top three of my least favorite near-death experiences.”+

“What the hell?” Fanboy repeated, but Didja was on a roll.

“Anyway, so yeah, I get crushed by twenty tons of heavy equipment after being blown up, and you don't even come to visit me,” Evan said, turning his sad eyes to Bradley, trying to convey the feelings of betrayal.

“I didn't know?” Bradley's statement came out more as a question. 

“Yeah, well, you could also call me more than once or twice a year and have an actual conversation.” Evan magnanimously left out the fact that Bradley could also stop refusing phone calls from their parents and uncles.

“I've been in Japan!”

“Yeah, and Sunny was in Milan. He still flew out and stayed a week at my place. He drove me to my PT appointments, and we binge-watched Game of Thrones. Which did you know that the style of dragons in the show are not actually dragons, but rather wyverns? Dragons have four legs and two wings.”

“I-” Bradley started to say.

“Don’t say you couldn’t get leave. I know you and there’s no way in hell you don’t have a crap ton of emergency family medical leave,” Buck said with the signature Mav scowl.

“I’m sorry, is that what you want to hear?”

“Thank you, I accept your apology. To be honest, though, I never expected you to show up or care since you left after ‘The Fight’. I mean, at least we kept in somewhat regular contact throughout the years, otherwise who knows how bad my abandonment issues would be.”

“Damn man, no need to go after Rooster like that,” Coyote said, Evan tilted his head in thought.

“No, I stand by what I said. I would have still had the trauma and abandonment issues with or without Bradley, but his actions were like the cherry on top of the Evan Buckley Trauma Sundae.” He glanced over at his brother, and okay, maybe he was laying on the guilt a bit too thick, “I mean, what he did wasn’t as bad as what Maddie did, but while Bradley has been above her in my personal rankings for years, she is currently top of the list. Actually, I need to redo the rankings so she might not be number one, but she is definitely above Bradley.”

“Wait, I thought Maddie was ghosting everyone because of her piece of shit husband.”

“Oh, I forgot you don't know,” Evan said, eyes wide, “Doug's dead.”

“What?”

“Yeah, Maddie killed him,” that got a reaction out of more than just Bradley, so Evan hurried to explain, “It was self-defense. She ran away once I had settled in LA. She settled down, got a new job, went to therapy, filed for divorce, and started dating again.”

“Well, good for her.”

“Well Doug, being the absolute narcissistic control freak that he is, started stalking her and everyone in her new life, and on one of her date nights, he showed up at her apartment, stabbed her new boyfriend six times in the abdomen, kidnapped her, and killed a gas station attendant. Anyway, he got her out in the woods, and she stabbed him and then ran through the snow while injured to escape him.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah, I was the one who found Chimney, that's the new boyfriend, we work together, I tried to help with the investigation, but my cop mom put me in hospital jail.”

“Dude, what the hell?” Jake said.

“I told you about this like two weeks after it happened.”

“Yeah, and you left out all the details!”

“We spoke for like thirty minutes!”

“Thirty minutes of you bitching about how your coworker got stabbed and how he was going to be on med-leave for longer than when he had rebar through his head.”

“Well, my bitching was valid. I could have totally used both of those situations as an example in a lawsuit against the fire department for discrimination and constructive discharge.”

“Is anyone else confused?” Payback asked.

“I feel like I'm watching the season three recap for a show I've never seen before,” Fanboy replied. 

“Why didn't the lawsuit end up on your list of things I missed? Also, why didn't you tell me Maddie moved to LA?”

“Firstly, I didn't sue. I went to the union because I enjoy my job as a first responder, and a lawsuit wouldn't improve that situation. Secondly, I didn't think you would care. You barely care about me, let alone someone tangentially related to me. Thirdly, it's the 21st-century dude, look her up on Instagram or Facebook or something.”

“Okay, as interesting as this lore drop has been, you guys need to cool down before this lovers' spat escalates into something more serious with worse consequences than airing your dirty laundry to the whole bar,” Phoenix said.

Bradley choked on his beer, “What! What the hell are you talking about?”

“Is Didja not a scorned ex-boyfriend?” Coyote asked, “Cause from where I'm standing, that's what it looks like.”

The last thirty seconds seemed to catch up to Evan, and he immediately began to wretch. “Oh God, oh please, I need brain bleach, or a time machine, or something to erase the last minute of my memory. I’m going to be sick. Ewewewew. Dating Bradley? Disgusting!”

“Hey, keep your homophobic bullshit to yourself!” Phoenix said, coming to the defense of her friend. 

“Didja isn’t homophobic.”

“I’m not homophobic.”

Coyote and Didja said at the same time. Then Didja’s eyes widened as he came to the sudden realization.

“Oh my God. He never told you," Didja said, looking between Bradley and Natasha. Bradley’s look of disgust had turned to horror as he watched the smirk on his brother’s face grow. “Let me reintroduce myself. I am Lt. Evan Buckley, callsign Didja, and Bradley Bradshaw’s little brother.”

“Holy Shit!”

“What the Fuck?”

“Are we being punked right now? I feel like we’re being punked.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Jake’s words cut through the chaos Didja had unleashed. “Bradshaw is famously an orphan, and Didja, I met your parents at graduation, and if y'all are brothers, then wouldn't that be a huge conflict of interest for this incoming mission?”

“We're not actually brothers,” Bradley said. 

“It's complicated,” Evan says at the same time, then looks over at Bradley when he hears his response, “Rude.”

“You called me disgusting.”

“No, I said dating you would be disgusting, but also yes, you are disgusting. I lived with sixteen-year-old Bradley, and Pig would have been a better call sign than Rooster.”

“Now who’s being rude?”

“I’m spitting straight facts. I don’t know how you got away with that pigsty you called a room.”

“Both of you shut up and answer the questions,” Phoenix glared at them. Buck and Bradley looked at each other, and for the first time since Evan had rejoined them, they were both silent. Evan tilted his head as if to say, ‘She’s your best friend; you should tell her,’ and Bradley raised his eyebrow as if to reply, ‘Are you crazy? She’ll kill me. You’re the cute baby.’

'Maybe I didn’t think this all the way through,' Evan thought as he looked at the faces of his friends and acquaintances and their faces of confusion, curiosity, and burning rage.

Chapter Text

Then

Evan was so excited. Mr. Tom had heard about him being stuck at school during spring break, and he had invited Evan to come stay with him and his family in San Diego. To make it even better, Maddie had decided to come out and visit for the weekend where their breaks overlapped. Mr. Tom was coming to pick him up, and then they were going to drive to the airport and pick up Maddie.

“Mr. Tom!” Evan shouted as he saw the man towering over the others in the courtyard. Unlike when they first met, Mr. Tom was wearing a polo and slacks instead of his uniform.

“Hey kiddo,” he said, ruffling Evan’s hair, “You ready to go get your sister?”

“Yes!” Evan practically shouted, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Did you know that it’s faster to fly from west to east?”

“I did know that. What else did you learn about flying commercial?”

That’s why Evan liked Mr. Tom; even though he already knew what Evan was talking about, he still asked for more information. Most people either spoke over him, finishing the fact before he could get it all out, or they got annoyed and told him that no one thought his facts were interesting. Even Maddie would sometimes get annoyed and roll her eyes when she thought he wasn’t looking. 

The whole car ride was like that. Evan rattled off facts as they came to him, and Mr. Tom would ask follow-up questions. Sometimes, Mr. Tom would ask him questions from the NATOPS, and Evan would give the answer and any other information that he thought might be relevant. 

“We’ll make a Naval Aviator out of you yet,” Mr. Tom said with a wink as he put the car in park at the airport arrivals lot. He held Mr. Tom’s hand as they walked through the busy airport to his sister’s gate, and that was weird. The only one who had ever held his hand was Maddie, but it made Mr. Tom seem upset and squeeze his hand tighter when he told him that, so Evan decided not to mention it again.

“MADDIE!!” Evan shouted as he saw his sister through the crowd. Soon they were in each other’s arms, “I missed you,” He mumbled into his sister’s shoulder.

“I missed you, too,” She whispered before straightening up, “Admiral Kazansky, thank you for helping to arrange this.”

“No thanks is necessary, and as I’ve told both you and your brother, it’s just Tom or Ice. There’s no need for all the formalities. Now, do you have any bags we need to go pick up?”

“No sir, I just have my carry-on,” She said, gesturing to the bag she had dropped during the siblings' tearful reunion.

“Perfect,” Mr. Tom (just Tom. Evan was going to have to get used to just calling him Tom. Maybe it wouldn’t be as weird to call him Ice…) sad. Swooping in to grab the bag, “Now Evan, hold either your sister's hand or mine, I don’t want you to get lost on our way out.”

“Can I hold both of your hands?” He asked.

“Of course, kiddo,” Ice said with a smile as he moved Maddie’s bag to his other hand. Maddie gave Ice a funny look, but Evan didn’t care, not when he had his two most favorite people holding his hands.

Now

Jake was having a good night. Was being the operative word. The night had started off on such a high note, he hustled some poor fools at darts, he got to catch up with Didja, whom he hadn’t seen in almost two years, and some old fool broke one of Penny’s cardinal rules. It was even a good night when Didja came bounding across the bar, even though he did not have the beers he had left to get. The pained, exasperated, and annoyed look on Rooster’s face was well worth it.

That is, until Didja started talking. Apparently, one of the people he considered to be one of his closest friends had not disclosed his very close relationship to Hangman’s Ex. Which just had to be against the bro code. Then, said close friend, whom he talked to at least once a week, disclosed that he had more than one near-death experience in the last year. 

Didja was on thin fucking ice.

Don’t get him wrong, he was mad at Rooster too. Sure, getting information out of Bradshaw about his past was like pulling water from a stone, but they had still told each other things they hadn’t told anyone else, and he hadn’t once mentioned knowing Didja. From the sounds of it, they had known each other really well, and it had really hurt Didja when Rooster left.

And then to find out that they were brothers! An old fling that still hurt, he could maybe understand keeping close to the chest, but siblings? No. Just no. Then he thought of what he knew about Didja, and what he knew about Rooster. He thought about what they had just revealed, and let's just say, he was adding two and two together and getting three.

“Wait Wait Wait,” Jake said over the others' exclamations, “Bradshaw is famously an orphan, and Didja, I met your parents at graduation, and if y'all are brothers, then wouldn't that be a huge conflict of interest for this incoming mission?”

Then the two assholes gave almost two completely different answers and devolved back into bickering. And whatever they said, he could now see the sibling relationship as plain as day. That didn’t mean he wasn’t completely fed up with both of them, though. He felt a small stab of satisfaction as both of them cowed under Phoenix’s glare. Served the bastards right.

“Well,” Didja started after losing the staring contest the two had, “We aren’t legally or biologically related.” 

Despite what he said, Jake could see it more and more as he watched the two brothers because that look on Didja’s face was the same look that Rooster got when a stranger asked a perfectly innocent question that he didn’t want to answer. Jake saw it every time someone asked about Bradley's parents, every time he was asked about why he chose aviation, every time he was asked about his life before UVA. In fact, now that Jake noticed one mannerism, he could think of more than half a dozen that the two shared. But it turned out that he and Phoenix weren’t the only one over these two’s bull shit.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Payback asked. “You’re brothers or you aren’t.”

“I said it was complicated,” Didja, honest to God, pouted.

“What Evan means,” Rooster cut in, “is that his birth parents are pieces of shit and he used to be such a cute kid that my godfather’s significant other emotionally adopted him, and since his parents didn’t give two shits about him we would spend summers and holidays together essentially being raised by the same people.”

“Don’t forget the year that I broke my arm at school, and my incubator and sperm donor were going on a tour of Europe, so they decided to give partial guardianship to Pops, and we all got to live together.”

“And that's why there's no conflict of interest,” Bob said, and holy hell, Jake was gonna have to get him a bell because he had, honest to God, forgotten the dude was there. 

“Yes,” Didja agreed, “because there is nothing legally tying us together, including our POA and NOK paperwork, it's not flagged as a conflict.”

“You’re brothers, but you won’t be notified if something happens to each other?” Jake tried to clarify.

“Yeah, it started when somebody,” Didja turned and glared at Rooster, “Decided to replace me with his best friend.”

“You were in school!” Rooster defended, throwing his arms up in exasperation, “It made sens,e and you agreed. Besides, you’re still in my paperwork just at the bottom of the list, and it’s not like you haven’t done the same.”

“I actually redid my paperwork as soon as I got here. One, because we are finally in the same state. Two, you really find out who your real friends are when you almost die but not enough for the disability to kick back in, so you ruin the vibes at work by getting the union involved. And three, I thought it might piss you off and or make you feel guilty.”

“So it’s not a conflict of interest?” Bob brought them back to the topic at hand.

“No, it’s not,” Didja agreed, “but only on a technicality. Don’t worry, we’ll both be super professional tomorrow. Speaking of, I have to steal my brother for a moment before we, as Phoenix so delicately put it, air our dirty laundry to the whole bar.” Didja then grabbed Rooster's hand and forcibly pulled him out of the bar, out to the back deck, and then down to the beach. 

Damn it! He still didn't get an answer to his question.

***********

“Jesus, Evan, you’re gonna pull my arm out of my socket!” Bradley complained as his not-so-little brother pulled him down to the beach.

“Don’t be such a baby, and I wouldn’t have to pull you if you would hurry up.”

“Why’d we have to come all the way out here anyway?”

“Because we have the same shitty coping skills to deal with our abandonment and attachment issues by talking without saying anything that we learned from our two gay dads during DADT. It was a lovely wedding by the way; we saved you a seat at the front. Uncle Slider cried. Anyway, I’m working on it in therapy, but I figured you wouldn’t want the actually personable stuff brought up in front of the others.”

“They got married?” Bradley didn’t know what to think about that. He wanted to be happy for them.  He wanted to be angry at them. All he felt was gut-retching sadness.

“Oh yeah, I know they invited you. They debated on whether or not to send it for like a month. They didn’t want you to be left out, but they didn’t want to force you back if you weren’t ready. It was just cyclical arguments back and forth until Uncle Slider told them to just send an invite, and leave the ball in your court. I’ll steal their wedding album if you want, so you can see everything.” 

“Why did you drag me out here?” Bradley asked again, pointedly ignoring his brother’s offer.

“I don’t know what you know or heard about my agreement to go into the reserves,” Evan said slowly as if picking each word carefully, “but I was told that unless I was absolutely needed or I choose to go back to active duty I was for all intents and purposes basically retired.”

“Okay, so something this past year happened, and you decided to become active duty again,” Bradley said. It made sense for Evan to drag them outside, though, because despite how he had acted inside, they were both pretty private people, and whatever happened to make Evan come back must have been a pretty big deal.

“No, not exactly,” Evan told him, and then he got that stupid, thinking face that looked just like Po- Ice’s face when figuring out the best way to word something for maximum effectiveness. “Last week, Pops called me and said he needed me for a mission. Half an hour later, an Ensign showed up with my call to action notice.”

Bradley was fuming. How dare he? First, they pull Bradley’s papers, and now they force his baby brother back to action when he had a life and everything outside the Navy. Of all the stupid, selfish, hypocritical-

“Bradley,” Evan said, cutting off his thoughts, “ I unofficially got the down low on this mission, and it’s bad.”

That brought Bradley up short. “How bad?”

“Calling only the top graduates of Top Gun to run it bad. Only successful in action movies bad. The survival of all combatants is not in the mission parameters bad.”

Bradley sucked in a breath. Shit. They were on a suicide mission. Motherfucking Jesus Christ.

“And there is only one person in the whole Navy and possibly the whole armed forces who has the experience to teach the three main parameters for this mission.”

No.

NoNoNoNoNoNo

Shit.

“You don’t mean…”

“Dad’s here and is going to be our direct commanding officer.”

Fuck.

This was fucking bullshit. He knew it was possible, but Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, he did not know if he could deal with this.

“Bradley,” Evan interrupted, his little freakout, “I will probably not be flying this mission.”

“What the hell do you mean?” Bradley demanded. “You were picked the same as the rest of us! I swear to God if Mav holds you back because he thinks you aren't ready-”

“No! No no no,” Evan cuts him off, waving his arms in front of him as if to physically stop Bradley's thought process. “I'm out of practice, have chronic pain from my crush injury, and haven't flown in a stressful situation since my squad's burnout. No, I was picked for this mission for a different reason. My Top Gun trophy is just the workaround so I can be here.”

“Oh my God,” Bradley said as all the pieces started to line up, “are you a nark? Did Ice put you here to spy on me? On us?”

“More like to keep you from getting charged with insubordination, and shoulder some of the weight of building a functioning squad in a short period of time, so dad can focus on teaching. Although I might nark on Dad if he starts to spiral and stop taking care of himself.”

“Dude, what the hell?”

“It’s a valid worry! Sure, everyone is professional, but come on, this group isn’t exactly known for playing well with others. Hangman hasn’t found anyone who can keep up with him, Phoenix has gone through nine WSOs in six years, and you are famously closed off and hard to get to know. And we have less than a month to become comfortable trusting each other explicitly with our lives.”

Okay, fine, so maybe Evan had a point. That didn’t mean he liked it.

“And Da- Mav is okay with this?”

“I dunno, this was all Pops' idea. I’m gonna stop by the house on the way back to base and see what the game plan is and see how he’s doing. Because, despite what he thinks, he’s not as young as he used to be.”

“What does that have to do with this mission? He’s just teaching it; he’s not actually the squad leader.”

“Well, yeah, but he had a really bad ejection a couple of days ago, and he’ll be running hops. Which is probably the exact opposite thing he should be doing to heal, so I’ll stop by to make sure he has bruise cream and is using the back brace. You know how bad he is at taking care of himself.”

Bradley does know. He remembers Ice, Mom, Uncle Sli, and Aunt Sarah at various points during his childhood chasing Mav down through various illnesses and injuries. Hell, one of his earliest memories was his mom putting him down next to Mav with a book and telling him to read with Uncle Mav and make sure he stays put.

“How bad was the ejection?” He ended up asking.

“It was his last test flight, and he was MIA for a few hours after he burned in, but I don’t know much more than that due to it being classified,” Evan said, looking to the ground as he scuffed his foot. It was an old mannerism that Evan would always do as a kid when he had to talk about family issues. “Pops didn’t tell me much, but his eyes did the crinkle thing that he does when he’s worried, but maybe he was thinking about the mission.”

Evan looked more like he was trying to convince himself. Fuck. This whole situation was fucked.

“So let’s recap. I was pulled from deployment to run a suicide mission, Da- Mav was pulled from China Lake after a bad ejection to teach said suicide mission. You were pulled from the reserves to keep the family drama from becoming explosive. Po- Ice is behind all of this, but is not here to see the fallout. So, in the midst of seeing the man that both raised me and ruined my life for the first time in over a decade I have to come to terms with my mortality and all that shit because suicide mission.”

Evan stared at him for a minute, “Yeah, pretty much.”

“We are so fucked.”