Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Dick Grayson/Nightwing - Birdy, BirdBat
Artemis of Bana-Mighdall - Artezon
Waylon Jones/Killer Croc - Crocpot
Harleen Quinzel/Harley Quinn - Auntie H
Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy - Aunt Ivy
Victor Fries/Mr. Freeze - Frosty
Basil Karlo/Clayface - Thyme
Harvey Dent/Two-Face - Baseball bat
Edward Nygma/The Riddler - Questioner
Oswald Cobblepot/The Penguin - Waddles
Floyd Lawton/Deadshot - One-Shot
Nanaue/King Shark - Sharky
George “Digger” Harkness/Captain Boomerang - First Murder Victim
Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow - Field Boy
Gorilla Grodd - Mindful
Lukas/Red X (OC for Red X) - X
Leonard Snart/Captain Cold - Ice Cube
Lisa Snart/Golden Glider - Zamboni,
Mick Rory/Heatwave - Coldwave,
Samuel Scudder/Mirror Master (Spouse is Lisa Snart) - Reflectoid
Evan McCulloh/Mirror Master 2 (Retired) - Worse Mirror Man
Axel Walker/Trickster - Wheel Runner
Garfield Lynns/Firefly - Glowstick
Solomon Grundy - Graveliver
Malcolm Merlyn/Merlyn/Dark Archer - Emo Arrow
Marco Mardon/Weather Wizard - Mild Condensation
Thaal Sinestro/Sinestro - Yellow Submarine
Barbara Minerva/Cheetah - Cheez-it
Roscoe Dillion/The Top - Bop-it
Alec Holland/Swamp Thing - Cauliflower

Wally West/The Flash - Redhead speed, Truly Speedy
Donna Troy/Wonder Woman/Troia - Wonder Sis
Garth/Aqualad - Garland
Kaldur/Aqualad - Best TL, Kallad
Conner/Superboy - OG Clone
Roy Harper/Arsenal - Somehow Speedy
Artemis Crock/Artemis/Tigress - Arrowcat
Garfield/Beast Boy - Beastie
Rachel Roth/Raven - Rav
Koriand’r/Kori Anders/Starfire - Star

Bruce Wayne/Batman - Broody, Batdad
Diana Prince/Wonder Woman - WWE
Hal Jordan/Green Lantern - Greenie,
Barry Allen/The Flash - Spedster,
Guy Gardner/Green Lantern - Guy, Asshole
Oliver Queen/Green Arrow - OG Arrowman
Dinah Lance/Black Canary - Screech
Victor Stone/Cyborg - Cy
John Constantine - Constantine,
John Smith/Red Tornado - Windy
Billy Batson/Shazam/The Captain - Kiddo,

Jason Todd/Red Hood - Lil’ Wing
Tim Drake/Red Robin - Little bird
Stephanie Brown/Spoiler/Bat Girl - Glitter Force
Duke Thomas/The Signal - little light,
Damian Wayne/Al-Ghul/Robin - Baby bird

Chapter Text

Chaos in a box

11:30 PM

Waylon Jones has been added to the chat

Auntie H: FINALLY!!!!!! HI WAYLON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crocpot: Hello. I do not have numbers, There are a lot of phone numbers in this chat.

Sharky: Yes. It can be quite difficult to adjust. May I ask who added you?

Sharky: I am King Shark.

X: I added him. I helped get the phone to him, and added my number to it.

Crocpot: Yes, thank you Red X. You and my friend helped quite a lot. It was very nice for him to make me a custom phone.

Artezon: Softie.

Auntie H: He is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's a good kid :D

Birdy: I am not a kid????

Worse Mirror Man: Wait your’e friends with killer croc???????

Artezon: Back to lurking he goes.

Worse Mirror Man: GOD DAMMIT ANSWER THE QUESTION FUCKER

Crocpot: Who is who. I am very confused. I have two numbers, but there are many.

Auntie H: I gotcha!!!

Auntie H: I’m Harley Quinn, you already know me Irl! We need to chat more.

Crocpot: Ah yes.

Crocpot: How do I change the names? I’ve not had a phone in a long time.

Crocpot: I kept breaking them

Crocpot: They are small devices

Artezon: The little button in the upper corner, then edit. You can separate out the numbers to individually name them.

Artezon: I’m Artemis btw. Anti-hero.

Birdy: (Hero)

Artezon: I am pretty sure you are the only one here who is considered an actual hero. And even then you are crazy.

Birdy: Rude.

X: She’s not wrong

Crocpot: Are all the separate contacts different people??

Auntie H: HES ALEADY USING MULTIPLE QUESTIOIN MARKS WEVE GOT HIM !!!!!!!

Questioner: I heard Question Mark?????

Questioner: Oh.

Questioner: Nice

Crocpot: Hello Riddler.

Questioner: Is it that obvious??

Aunt Ivy: Yes.

Frosty: Yep.

Thyme: Yeah.

Field Boy: It is so obvious Ed.

Questioner: SHUT UP JONATHAN

Field Boy: FUCK OFF EDWARD

Field Boy: TWILIGHT LOOKIN NAME

Frosty: You only know Twilight because Harleen made us watch it.

Questioner: SHUT THE FUCK UP JONATHAN

Crocpot: So who won Uno this week, Scarecrow?

Field Boy: I did :D

Questioner: HE CHEATED

Questioner: HE HAD TO HAVE

Field Boy: JUST ADMIT THAT IM BETEGHGIUAIOJIDSF

Aunt Ivy: They were annoying me.

Waddles: Ha. Nice.

Auntie H: Love that for you babe.

Crocpot: I am still confused about numbers.

Aunt Ivy: Poison Ivy.

Frosty: I am Victor Fries, but you may know me as Mr. Freeze.

Thyme: Hey Waylon! It’s Basil

Crocpot: Nice! Hi Basil!

Thyme: Also, you all should change my name to Thyme. Apparently that’s what the bird has me as, and thats hilarious.

Birdy: How???? Do??? You??? Know?????

Thyme: You made a joke about it once

Birdy:...I forgot.

Worse Mirror Man: Lmao.

Worse Mirror Man: Im Evan. Second Mirror Master, and now retired because the og came back.

Sharky: I also believe it was to prevent Cold from murdering you!

Worse Mirror Man: Shut.

Auntie H: OKAY THE REST OF YOU INTRODUCE SUPER FAST SO WE STOP GETTING SIDE TRACKED!!!!!!!!!!!

Baseball Bat: I am Two-Face.

Waddles: The Penguin.

One-Shot: Floyd, but you'll likely know me as Deadshot.

One-Shot: Who forcefully unmuted this chat for me?

First Murder Victim: George Harkness, the one and only Captain Boomerang!

Mindful: I am the formidable Gorilla Grodd.

Ice Cube: Captain Cold.

Zamboni: Lisa, or Golden Glider!!

Reflectoid: Sam, The OG Mirror Master! Lisa is my lovely fiance :)))

Worse Mirror Man: Eugh.

Reflectoid: You’re just jealous I’m better.

Worse Mirror Man: Literally never.

Crocpot: I remember meeting you once Sam. It was a pleasure.

Reflectoid: Same!

Coldwave: I am HEatwave

Ice Cube: HEatwave

Auntie H: HEatwave

Reflectoid: HEatwave

Coldwave: Fuck you guys.

Wheel Runner: I am Trickster!

Auntie H: (He’s better than the J*ker.)

Wheel Runner: (Thank you)

Auntie H: (It’s true)

Waddles: Just don’t let em know you said that. He’ll lose his head more than usual.

Sharky: Because he is a bitch.

Crocpot: …Are there more names that are censored??

Zamboni: Yeah, but you’ll learn as you spend more time in this hellscape

Coldwave: You aren’t wrong

First Murder Victim: Truly.

Glowstick: Garfield Lynns, or Firefly!! Sorry, I’m in the middle of a bit of Arson

Coldwave: Fire????

Glowstick: FIRE!!!!!

Ice Cube: Mick no.

Coldwave: Damnit.

Ice Cube: Not unless you’re going after the Flash today.

Coldwave: I CAN ARRANGE THAT!!!!

Zamboni: Well Leonard, this is your karma.

Ice Cube: Lisa I stg.

Reflectoid: Gl trying to stop Mick now

Wheel Runner: Green Lantern

Reflectoid: GOOD LUCK YOU KNOW THAT AXEL

Wheel Runner: Hehehehehe

Graveliver: I am Solomon Grundy. I am learning phones as well.

Crocpot: Nice. We’re in the same boat.

Graveliver: I am not in a boat??

Graveliver: Wait, I get it now. Never mind.

X: Lol.

Emo Arrow: Merlyn. Or the Dark Archer.

Auntie H: Pft.

Emo Arrow: Literally fuck off quinzel.

Auntie H: I didn’t even say anything!!!!

Emo Arrow: You were thinking something.

Mild Condensation: I am Weather Wizard!! Or Marco :)

Bop-it: I am the Top.

Worse Mirror Man: Are you sure? Cause in my phone you're the Bottom.

Field Boy: Oh my god

First Murder Victim: Wait thats great

Bop-it: Literally kys Evan.

Worse Mirror Man: OI

Cheez-it: I am Cheetah.

Yellow Submarine: Children. The lot of you.

Yellow Submarine: I am the great Sinestro, leader of the Fear Lantern Corp.

Crocpot: So Sinestro is here, and Cheetah. What about Reverse-Flash? Or Black Manta?

Auntie H: Th*wne, Zol*mon, Sl*de, L*ther, J*ker are all banned. Black Manta is not here, but we are thinking about it :)

Emo Arrow: Idk how I ended up here if I’m being honest Croc.

Yellow Submarine: I was forced and cannot leave.

Cheez-it: Eh it’s kinda funny to be here.

Crocpot: May I ask why they are censored? (Other than J*ker) Are those all the censored?

X: Yeah those are all the censored so far

X: And because this is a Luther hate club.

Field Boy: EUGH

Questioner: Censor the bald man.

Waddles: You could put on makeup using his head.

Auntie H: YES WE ARE CORRUPTING YOU COBBLEPOT!!!

Waddles: No you are not.

Coldwave: Th*wne and Zol*mon are lil bitches.

Reflectoid: Frfr

Crocpot: What does that mean

Reflectoid: For real!!! Sorry!

Crocpot: It is good for me to learn

Zamboni: That’s the spirit!

X: I hate Sl*de and I want him to die.

Auntie H: Real!!!!

X: No, he needs to die.

Birdy: FFs no he doesn’t

Auntie H: So he does???

Birdy: WHY IS IT WHEN I SAY NO YOU ALL SAY THEY DO

Crocpot: Because you are far too nice in some cases

Birdy: You literally just joined Waylon.

Crocpot: Yes but we have been friends for years.

Baseball Bat: You have?

Crocpot: Yeah I saved him from drowning once, and then we became friends

Auntie H: How did you nearly drown??????

Birdy: Long story. I was a kid.

Artezon: Did someone try to drown you

Birdy: Shut your fuck

Ice Cube: Someone tried to drown him

Birdy: LITERALLY FUCK OFF SNART

Worse Mirror Man: Oh Btw Harley he’s ours this week

Auntie H: I WILL BITE YOU AGIAN

Worse Mirror Man: NO YOU WONT

Auntie H: YES I WILL HE’S OURS

Birdy: Should I be expecting to get kidnapped again

Mindful: Likely. I would like to try and get into your head again.

Birdy: Please do not.

Birdy: stay out

Birdy: My head is not free real estate

Worse Mirror Man: Nope I’m kidnapping him to hang out.

Coldwave: Not without me. You all didn’t wait until I was out of prison last time.

Birdy: This isn’t some sort of custody situation????? I don’t even live in Gotham or Keystone/Central!!

Aunt Ivy: It is a custody situation. Why do you think Harley bit him?

Auntie H: BECAUSE THEY WERE STEALING MY NEPHEW

Birdy: I am literally an adult. I cannot be “stolen”

Auntie H: Yes you can

X: Lol.

Birdy: Silence thief.

X: Not my fault you put it down.

Birdy: I stg. I’ll hurt you Red X

First Murder Victim: HA!

Birdy: Harkness.

First Murder Victim: shutting up.

Crocpot: Is he afraid of you??

One-Shot: Boomer is terrified of him.

First Murder Victim: no

Sharky: He refuses to tell us why.

Crocpot: Actually that tracks

Questioner: WAIT NO YOU CAN’T TAKE HIM I NEED HIM TO HELP WITH SOME RIDDLES

Questioner: OR BE A KIDNAPEE

Birdy: ????

X: And we’re back to making him choose between Gotham and Central/Keystone

Worse Mirror Man: Too late

Questioner: Evan I will make you the kidnapee.

Aunt Ivy: If either of you take my nephew without him saying yes I will string you up as an example.

Questioner: Yes ma’am.

Worse Mirror Man: Yes Ma’am

X: Well this has gone well for Croc’s first day here.

Artezon: Has it?

X: I think so.

Baseball Bat: Far better than your’s I believe.

Artezon: Actually, you’re right. That was a weird day.

First Murder Victim: IT WAS A BAD DAY

First Murder Victim: I GOT CHASED ALL THROUGH CENTRAL BY THAT PSYCHO

One-Shot: You kinda deserved it.

First Murder Victim: Fuck off Lawton

Sharky: You are just glad that he no longer appears to be online!

First Murder Victim: SHIT UP SHARK

Cheez-it: You need autocorrect

X: Anyway.

X: Look at Croc’s phone we made him

X: [Photo of an electronic, that's double the size of an Ipad. It’s huge. Croc is using one claw to type. Nightwing’s hand is in frame, and is pointing at something on the screen.]

Auntie H: Oh my god thats brilliant

Zamboni: I actually love that??

Graveliver: Mine is a similar size!

Field Boy: He may become more of an Ipad kid than Ed

Questioner: If Ivy wasn’t here.

Field Boy: You would do what? Hit me with those noodle arms of yours?

Questioner:...

Waddles: I just heard a very loud crash.

Auntie H: Are you with them?

Waddles: Near em.

Glowstick: Did Ed lose at Uno again? Bats had to temporarily stop chasing me to prevent Ed from killing Jon. I watched him literally pry Ed’s hands off of Jon’s neck. Ivy just kinda stood there shaking her head.

Glowstick: Oh now she’s picked them both up with her vines to keep them separated. Wonder if she’s gonna kill them herself

Glowstick: UH OH HE’S BACK TO ME

Ice Cube: Good to know I’m not the only one dealing with you all.

Coldwave: We aren’t as bad as that

Bop-it: Yeah!

Ice Cube: …

Reflectoid: Oh c’mon! We behave!

Zamboni: Sometimes.

Reflectoid: Sometimes.

Chapter Text

Chaos in a Box

2:47 PM

Zamboni: [Video of the Third Flash, Wally West, confronting Gorilla Grodd. Gorilla Grodd seems to be looking into his mind, then talks; “Ah yes! The Third Flash, the Fumble King.”

He said it completely seriously.

Wally nearly trips over himself with how fast he stops.

Behind the camera, you hear Lisa choke on her own breath trying not to laugh.

“ WHAT?! “ Wally sounds confused, and incensed

“You are the Fumble King” Grodd is nodding to himself, like he is resolute about it

Video ends with Wally still looking incredulous, but going after Grodd. Lisa cackles]

Ice Cube: Oh my god

X: THAT’S FUCKING GOLD OH MY GOODNESS

Zamboni: It wasn’t even on purpose I was able to record it

Reflectoid: Lisa can I propose to you again

Zamboni: Sure lol

Auntie H: That has to be his new name. He is the Fumble King now.

Birdy: What????? How is he the Fumble King???????

Auntie H: I am also confused but it’s great

Birdy: It is hilarious

Birdy: but also wha???

Mindful: He has fumbled the bag. Expeditiously so.

Worse Mirror Man: Why are you saying those words in that order.

Mindful: Because.

Mindful: I am Gorilla Grodd and I do what I want.

Mindful: But he fumbled bad.

Auntie H: WHO

Mindful: …

Ice Cube: WAIT LMAO

Wheel Runner: We all know that he fumbled that nice lady badly

Bop-it: We all know her name dude

Wheel Runner: I am not risking it

Reflectoid: Wait I thought that had been a mutual split

Reflectoid: Like they had decided to be friends

Wheel Runner: Yeah

Wheel Runner: But it was a fumble.

Coldwave: …He’s not wrong

X: Grodd

X: Is it certain someone in here

Birdy: ???Who???

Coldwave: IT IS ISN’T IT

Frosty: Almost definitely.

Birdy: Magenta isn’t in here tho????????

Birdy: Nor L??????????

Artezon: Oh my godddddddd

Mindful: He is the Fumble King, and Fumbled a king

Questioner: Holy shit I am going to dye from laughing

Thyme: Dye

Auntie H: Dye

Bop-it: Dye

Questioner: Literally die.

X: Birdbrain choked on his drink at that line Grodd

X: I also don’t think I’ve ever seen him this pissed off at being confused

X: It’s like those overlay memes where someone is super confusde

Birdy: Why are you snitching on me

Birdy: Artemis come get your stupid-ass boyfriend

X: HEY

Artezon: He is my stupid boyfriend, but I also think this is hilarious.

Artezon: And he is your friend as well

Birdy: I hate you

X: Artemis I love you so much

X: So so much

Artezon:...

Artezon: <3

Auntie H: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Artezon: I will take it back.

X: NO D:

X: He looks dead inside

Field Boy: I am not surprised in the slightest

Field Boy: Anyone who is immune to my fear stuff to any degree has issues

Birdy: SAYS YOU????

Field Boy: Yes.

Birdy: I’m burning your house down.

Field Boy: I don’t have one???

Birdy: We’ll see.

Baseball Bat: Why is that so threatening?

Waddles: Because he no longer feels the need to act overly nice over text

Questioner: Yeah makes sense

Cheez-it: So the third Flash is now the Fumble King. Nice.

Reflectoid: Wait this is going to be hilarious

Mild Condensation: Especially if we all start calling him that??? Holy crap

X: He’s going to lose his shit at us all.

Birdy: I am still confused

Yellow Submarine: But it would be funny.

Ice Cold: Sinestro actually agreeing with us?? Are we sure this is real life?

Coldwave: Or is it just Fanta-C

Glowstick: Caught in a landslide

One-Shot: No escape from reality

Worse Mirror Man: NO

Coldwave: This is why you’re the worse Mirror man

Coldwave: Because you don’t like text symphonies

Coldwave: Sam likes text symphonies

Aunt Ivy: Open your eyes

Auntie H: Look up to the skies and seeeeeeeeeeeee

X: I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy

Wheel Runner: I’m just a poor boy I need no sympathy

Worse Mirror Man: FUCK YOU ALL

Worse Mirror Man: I HATE YOU ALL

Waddles: Wow you got issues dude

Waddles: Especially with text singing

Reflectoid: He really does.

Ice Cold: EUGH L*THER IS MESSAGING ME

Coldwave: Ew

Coldwave: Why

Ice Cold: He’s trying to get me to help take down superman

Ice Cold: Again

Ice Cold: Like bro please I’m just trying to enjoy my milkshake

Coldwave: WITHOUT ME?????

Ice Cold: Shit

Reflectoid: LMAO

Wheel Runner: You did promise him one

Ice Cold: Thanks Trickster.

Wheel Runner: Yep.

Emo Arrow: He’s fucking texting me now too you asshole

Ice Cold: I DIDN’T DO SHIT

Emo Arrow: I feel like you did

Ice Cold: I hope Green Arrow hits every shot you miss.

X: Oh shit

Yellow Submarine: Oh my

Mindful: Goddamn

Cheez-it: Dang

Coldwave: Holy shit

Coldwave: That almost makes up foR YOU GETTING A MILKSHAKE WITHOUT ME

Bop-it: He’s also at the one on the corner in Keystone

Coldwave: I’m blocking you Leonard.

Coldwave: How fucking dare you

Coldwave: That’s my favorite place

Ice Cold: I just audibly sighed

Ice Cold: Also Top how the fuck did you know that

Bop-it: I can see you

Ice Cold: I am not buying you one.

Bop-it: Eh that’s deserved

Bop-it: Anyway Fumble King seems to be dealing with a random robbery.

Auntie H: I just caught up and I am so calling the Third Flash that for the rest of my life

X: REAL

Birdy: I AM STILL CONFUSED

Artezon: Stay confused <3

Birdy: Literally I hate you

Artezon: Sure

Yellow Submarine: Are you sure you are a hero? You mostly threaten us in this chat

Cheez-it: Now he’s not gonna respond

One-Shot: Well if he’s gone that means that Boomer is finally gonna talk in chat lmao

First Murder Victim: Shut up Lawton.

Auntie H: LMAOOOOOOOOO

Chapter Text

Chaos In a Box

12:17 AM

X: [Blurry photo of Red Hood in the distance, laying on the ground]

X: He fell off a roof and just layed there for a while

Artezon: Thats a great photo, but why are you in Gotham?

X: Passing through to drop off smth to Ed.

Questioner: That’s actually great. Even better than what you were dropping off

Artezon: What were you dropping off

X: I was dropping off some green and purple paint he asked me to grab

Questioner: SNITCH

Artezon: Okay that's fine then.

Field Boy: Are you still making the escape room stuff?

Questioner: Yep!!!! Just doing smth else as a break. Gonna paint Stagg’s building

Field Boy: Vandalism! Love that.

Field Boy: Lemme help

Questioner: You are going to mix fear toxin into the paint. I want to vandalize, not cause fear today

Field Boy: Dangit

Crocpot: I have a new hot cacao machine :)

Field Boy: You like hot coco?

Crocpot: Yes

Crocpot: I used to have to get a new machine every week because I would accidentally break them

Crocpot: For my addiction

Crocpot: I used that joke correctly.

Birdy: you mean I would have to buy you a new one every week and bring it to our weekly lunches

Crocpot: Maybe

Cheez-it: Okay now I do want to hear the story of how you two became friends

Crocpot: I stopped him from drowning

Cheez-it: Yes, but specify????

Birdy: No <3

Cheez-it: You totally should

X: I would vote on it

Birdy: I nearly drowned??? That’s about it

X: Okay but how

Ice Cube: And whom

Worse Mirror Man: So im not the only one whose dead curious, nice

Birdy: Bruh

Crocpot: I’m still unsure of the full story but he was chained to the bottom of Gotham river

Birdy: WAYLON??

Auntie H: okay what

Crocpot: And he was tiny.

Birdy: I WASN’T TINY I WAS 10

Aunt Ivy: What.

Birdy: okay look

Birdy: I had already nearly been beat to death drowning wasn’t as bad

Birdy: and I wasn’t even suited up as robin

Ice Cube: What?? You nearly got beat to death while you were 10 or younger?????? Wtf??

Baseball Bat:....I am still sorry about that

Birdy: Eh it is what it is

Auntie H: Dent wtf??

Baseball Bat: Look I was much worse back then

Birdy: Your name in my phone is Baseball Bat lol

Baseball Bat: That makes this worse.

Baseball Bat: I also don’t think I used a baseball bat

Reflectoid: Wow that’s really messed up.

Reflectoid: Even we hold back a bit against the kid heroes

Baseball Bat: HE WAS THE FIRST ONE

Zamboni: THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT BETTER

Bop-it: Okay but what about the drowning thing

Birdy: How dare you bring that back up

Auntie H: Yeah explain that then we’ll deal with Harvey

Baseball Bat: Wait no

Birdy: ffs

X: Only you dude lol

Birdy: It really is

Birdy: But I had pissed off the Joker in civvies lol

Birdy: So I got chained to the bottom of Gotham River

Birdy: Simple as that lol

Questioner: ????????????

Field Boy: Why does that not surprise me but also what could you have done??

Frosty: It’s literally the Joker. I doubt he did anything

Sharky: Censor that disgusting creature.

Birdy: Oh no I definitely did stuff

Worse Mirror Man: Like what??

Birdy: While I was in Arkham after I escaped from Juvie I was placed across from him and used to mock him in english then pretend to not speak english when the psych people and guards would come around.

Auntie H: Holy shit

Aunt Ivy: I actually applaud you for that

Thyme: How badly did that piss him off

Birdy: So badly. It was great

Birdy: He really doesn’t like me at all :)

Artezon: But that could lead to him trying to kill you

Birdy: Again. I literally could not care less. I’d just fight him.

Auntie H: I’m pretty sure he’s afraid of you

Birdy: Good.

Auntie H: I actually applaud you Birdie

First Murder Victim: I would be as well.

Auntie H: So you admit you are scared of the lil’bird?

First Murder Victim: NO

Auntie H: That ain’t believable Boomer!

First Murder Victim: It is! It is so believable!

Auntie H: It’s even less believable now

Birdy: hehehehe

Aunt Ivy: What have you done

Birdy: whatever do you mean

Ice Cube: Oh he's definitely done something

Ice Cube: Also please tell me that you aren’t doing the laugh disappearing trick again

Coldwave: Never have I been so thankful for a kid to not be living in Central

Birdy: Didn’t I make someone cry when I did that as a kid

Coldwave: Yeah and we begged Barry to not let you out in Central when you came to visit

Birdy: HA

Ice Cube: You mean you did

Coldwave: SHUT

Birdy: Anyway

Birdy: [Picture of Pyg being arrested]

Birdy: I was dealing with something

Field Boy: Get his ass

Aunt Ivy: That’s much better than what I thought you would have done

Aunt Ivy: Though I was hoping you were getting rid of the clown

X: Ugh Valentino

Birdy: Fr

Birdy: Hate him

Auntie H: He’s creepy

Auntie H: And not in the good way

Coldwave: I’m not even gonna ask what the good way is

Chapter Text

Chaos In A Box

7:31 PM

Worse Mirror Man: Do you all want to get donuts

Thyme: I’m in Gotham :((((

Bop-it: Why

Worse Mirror Man: It’s literally like fried sweet bread why not

First Murder Victim: Ugh Scots

Worse Mirror Man: you are an Aussie stfu

Yellow Submarine: I have heard of these “donuts”. But I haven’t ever had one.

Thyme: Oh my god

Worse Mirror Man: Ho boy Sinny am I about to change your feeble life.

Worse Mirror Man: Are you anywhere near earth?

Yellow Submarine: Do not call me that.

Yellow Submarine: But I am.

Yellow Submarine: I had plans to gain more fear, but I suppose it can be put off for a minute.

Worse Mirror Man: NICE

Worse Mirror Man: Come to Keystone! They got a great donut place. (Better than Central’s best)

Bop-it: You shut your bitch mouth

Worse Mirror Man: IM RIGHT.

Bop-it: You are literally so wrong.

Bop-it: You have no taste

Yellow Submarine: I shall have the final say in this.

X: Oh this’ll be hilarious.

Thyme: Welcome back to my youtube channel, Fearful reviews. Today we are trying the earthen food known as “dough-nuts”-

Bop-it: PFT

Yellow Submarine: I will not let this mockery stand.

Thyme: IT WASN’T MOCKERY

First Murder Victim: Sounded like mockery to me mate

Thyme: IT WASN’t

Bop-it: Poor Basil. About to be subjected to the fear

Bop-it: How the hell do you do the trademark symbol thing

Crocpot: I recommend hot cacao.

Thyme: I copy-paste it when I want to use it Roscoe

Yellow Submarine: Would it be this “Pumpkin Spice” I have heard so much about?

Worse Mirror Man: Yes

Crocpot: No.

Crocpot: THat flavour is evil.

Crocpot: I hate it.

Thyme: What’s your favorite then?

Crocpot: Peppermint. It is the superior flavour.

Bop-it: Eh

Yellow Submarine: I am in the place that you call Keystone.

Worse Mirror Man: Alright! On the way, and Axel is probably going to find you

Yellow Submarine: What?

Wheel Runner: Behind you :)

Yellow Submarine: How.

Wheel Runner: I am so rarely able to do it let me have this moment

Wheel Runner: Like idk how the bats do it so often

Yellow Submarine: Fine then. Let us try this doughnut and see if it is any good.

Yellow Submarine: If I was lied to about it being good, You shall see my wrath McCulloch.

Worse Mirror Man: Alright then ya bastard.

Bop-it: Let us know if there's a specific flavor you like dude

Thyme: You all alive? It’s been more than an hour

Worse Mirror Man: Yep.

Wheel Runner: [Video, the camera is shaky. It is of Sinestro, eating a doughnut. He sounds very pleased while talking to himself;

“Waylon appears to have been wrong. This "Pumpkin Spice” is delicious. And it appears to not be evil.”

Evan is scarfing down his own doughnuts.]

Crocpot: NO WE’VE LOST HIM

Thyme: It’s not that bad

Crocpot: I literally eat people and it is that bad.

Questioner: I thought you mostly stopped eating people??

Crocpot: I have. But I have eaten people in the past.

Yellow Submarine: Apologies Waylon but you are wrong. It is quite delightful.

Crocpot: <\3

Crocpot: Did I use that correctly?

Wheel Runner: YES

Worse Mirror Man: I can’t believe he’s become a pumpkin spice girlie.

Yellow Submarine: Ah yes. I am one of the so-called “girlies”.

Bop-it: It is so fucking funny to see you all try and cosplay as normal-ish people.

Yellow Submarine: I must take some of this back.

Worse Mirror Man: Oh god dammit

X: Is he stealing a bunch of Pumpkin Spice stuff?

Crocpot: Are you just “lurking”?

X: Yeah I was

X: Also you don’t need to put it in parenthesis

Bop-it: Those are quotation marks

X: Shut the fuck up

X: I fucked it up

Wheel Runner: He is in fact stealing Pumpkin Spice stuff

Wheel Runner: Do you think the Third Flash will stop him? Or just let him have the stuff

Questioner: Morally, he would likely stop it. But personally I think he would want to let him have it

First Murder Victim: “Let him have it”

Questioner: I stg. You're worse than Jon sometimes!

Questioner: Crane. I should just call him Crane at this point

Bop-it: How’d you know what someone was gonna ask.

Questioner: Because there’s too many people naemed the same thing

Questioner: Do not. I know I spelled it wrong.

Thyme: Lmao

Wheel Runner: Ope GL is here

Wheel Runner: Uh Jordan

Bop-it: Nice

Worse Mirror Man: Damn I’m not even technically a Rogue anymore but yall are still getting me in trouble :/

Birdy: It is literally your own fault Evan

Worse Mirror Man: YOU WOUND ME

Worse Mirror Man: Wait how much do you think I can piss off Fumble King

Worse Mirror Man: After dealing with the current situation

X: If you try anything with my younger brother I’ll kill you.

Worse Mirror Man: OKAY DAMN

Birdy: ????

Birdy: Bruh

Wheel Runner: [Photo of Hal Jordan floating in front of Sinestro. Sinestro has a ton of Pumpkin spice stuff around him. He’s carrying it using his ring. Even though the camera cannot see Hal’s face, you can feel the confusion rolling off him]

Wheel Runner: I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this confused on how something can be used for villainy

Wheel Runner: Like he even asked if it was going to be used for some sort of evil bomb thing

Yellow Submarine: He is attempting to take my Pumpkin Spice items.

Worse Mirror Man: HE LOOKED SO INSULTED THAT SINESTRO TOOK HIS PHONE OUT IN FRONT OF HIM LMAO

X: Oh this is fantastic

Wheel Runner: Damn it Flash and Fumble King is here

Worse Mirror Man: [Video of Sinestro, Hal, Barry, and Wally all in a confrontation.

Hal sighs, “Sinestro, I don’t know why you are taking Pumpkin Spice stuff, but you have to return it.”

“No.”

Wally starts to say something, but Sinestro cuts him off.

“I will not be taking any criticism from the Fumble King. Silence.”

Wally reels back a bit.

Barry and Hal both look like they’re trying not to laugh. Wally seems like he’s so confused, and annoyed

Both Axel and Evan can be heard trying not to laugh behind the camera.

Barry then turns to them across the street, noticing them.

You can hear Evan curse before the camera is cut]

Mindful: I am so glad it has caught on.

Thyme: It’s hilarious??? So naturally it had to

Thyme: Also they are so getting arrested

Ice Cold: Wtf happened?

Thyme: LMAO

Crocpot: Adventure to get donuts gone wrong. It ended in Sinestro stealing a ton of disgusting stuff

Thyme: Pumpkin Spice stuff

Ice Cold: Oh ew.

Thyme: It’s not that bad

Crocpot: Do you like pumpkin spice

Thyme: Not really, but it’s not the worst flavour in the world

Coldwave: I’m with Basil on this one

Bop-it: Why does Mick and Leonard always talk in the chat at the same time

Bop-it: Is smthing going on there?

Coldwave: Roscoe.

Coldwave: I'll kill you.

Bop-it: ITS A JOKE

Mindful: Any updates on GL, Flash, and Fumble King?

Wheel Runner: Still running from them :D

Mindful: Ah good luck then.

Wally >>>> Roy

8:00 PM

Walls: Roy

Walls: Roy

Walls: Roy

Roy: Hey! Wassup?

Walls: They keep calling me fumble king

Roy: …Who does?

Walls: THe villains

Walls: THEY WONT TELL ME WHY

Walls: I just know they’re coordinating

Roy: Lol

Walls: YUO ARE SO MEAN TO ME

Roy: You did kinda fumble Linda and Artemis, even if it was mutual

Walls: SAYS YOU??

Roy: OI

Roy: >:(

Walls: Okay i did but i don’t think thye know about tehm

Walls: Actually Grodd was the first one to call me that so nvm

Roy: PFT

Walls: Literally fuck off

Roy: At least they haven’t tried to go after anyone?

Walls: DAMMIT IM GONNA GO WARN LINDA AND ARTEMIS

Roy: Lol

Walls: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

Roy: Who called you that recently?

Walls: Fcking Sinestro

Roy: No shot

Walls: I wish I was kidding

Walls: It was while he was stealing Pumpkin Spice stuff too

Roy: ew why

Walls: Who knows

Walls: But I’m gonna crash otu

Roy: I am not surprised in the slightest

Roy: Kid Hot-head

Walls: Shut your fuck

Chapter Text

Chaos In A BoX

12:03 AM

Auntie H: Who wants to cause problems so we Gotham folks can call him the Fumble King

Questioner: Holy shit Harley

Questioner: I'm so in

Field Boy: Lmao same

Frosty: No. I am busy.

Field Boy: Awh :(

Field Boy: Youre always busy tho

Frosty: Indeed.

Frosty: I need to find a cure.

Waddles: Fair enough.

Waddles: Im willing to help

Birdy: I cant sorry

X: Personally I didn’t think you would but still why not

Birdy: Currently being kidnapped :/

X: HUH

Birdy: Well currently kidnapped ig

Field Boy: How do you of all people get kidnapped

Birdy: Eh I’m too pretty for my own good

Auntie H: Do I need to commit a felony

Birdy: Maybe

Birdy: Depends on whether or not these aliens actually try to make me marry their ruler

Birdy: Jury’s still out on if any of the heroes have noticed

X: W H A T

Field Boy: how

Birdy: It’s not the first time I’ve been taken to another planet

Frosty: I do not believe that is the part they are worried about

Auntie H: SINESTRO

Yellow Submarine: How did you make my phone go off with that.

Yellow Submarine: It sounds like you got taken by the 

Yellow Submarine: I do not know how to spell it or say it in your native languages

Auntie H: Fair

Auntie H: Can you get some of us to said planet? :)

Birdy: Bruh I don’t need to be saved

Birdy: If the heroes would pICK UP THEIR FUCKING PHONES

Birdy: Then it would be fine

Yellow Submarine: No.

Auntie H: Sinestroooooo

Auntie H: DAMNIT HOW DID YOU KNOW

Yellow Submarine: I just did.

Cheez-it: I can go harass Diana if you need kid

Birdy: Not a kid

Birdy: Eh, I’m sure it’ll be fine

Birdy: Worst case scenario I can’t go back to earth :/

Questioner: I HAVE FOUND BATMAN

Questioner: He’s dealing with Tetch but I’m sure I can get him to start worrying about you

Birdy: He’s gonna think you did smth

Questioner: …no

X: Artemis and I are almost to the Hall of Justice

Birdy: Oh nice

Birdy: Why

Artezon: Why do you think dumbass

Birdy: OKAY RUDE

Sharky: I can eat aliens.

Auntie H: That might be needed Sharky

Birdy: Okay no

Aunt Ivy: Yes.

Birdy: Brb

Auntie H: NO YOU COME BACK HERE BIRDY

Yellow Submarine: The planet he is on is very big on consent. They can make him immortal and wait out until he says yes

Aunt Ivy: Thats not consent thats just convincing someone to change their boundaries

Yellow Submarine: Well

Yellow Submarine: You aren’t wrong

Birdy: Alright Im back

Birdy: Idk why they let me keep my phone but eh

Cheez-it: Has anyone got back in touch with you??

Birdy: Other than yall, no

X: WHY IS NO ONE HERE

X: Committing a felony

Birdy: How about no???

Auntie H: Yes!!

Questioner: NOT BATMAN!!!! AZAZEL IS DRESSED LIKE THE BAT TODAY?!!!!!

Field Boy: Well shit we might be losing Ed

Questioner: He glared at me and then went after Tetch again :(((

Frosty: I have my things together if we need to come get you

Worse Mirror Man: Oh shite

Worse Mirror Man: I can help get to the planet if needed

Worse Mirror Man: Idk where the fuckin heroes are

Birdy: Wait, does anyone have Dr. Fates contact info

Birdy: Actually unless theres risk of me dying then he wont care either

Birdy: Damn

Artezon: I am going to break Todd’s nose.

Birdy: WHY????

Artezon: He is not answering his phone.

Cheez-it: Solomon, Grodd, and I are hanging out

Ice Cold: The rogues and I are together. If Sinestro takes us, we could probably go get you

Birdy: They are trying to make me wear a dress :/ I like dresses but not being forced to wear em :///

Cauliflower: I am willing to assist. The Green likes you.

Birdy: Oh well thats nice to know :D

Crocpot: W H O

Crocpot: I thought I had got all the numbers

Cauliflower: I am Swamp Thing. The protector of the Green.

Bop-it: …Weed???

Coldwave: LMAO

Cauliflower: No.

First Murder Victim: How long has the mean green bean been in the chat????

Aunt Ivy: He has been here for a while. He is a very good person

First Murder Victim: Of course you are friends with him

Auntie H: Harkness.

First Murder Victim: JESUS OKAY

Aunt Ivy: Love there's no need to be so protective

Auntie H: I know ya can take care of yourself Red :(((

First Murder Victim: Tkae it to dms please no one wants to see that

Reflectoid: Awww shucks

Reflectoid: Guess that means Lisa and I can't get lovey dovey in this chat

Field Boy: Im going to mute this gondammned chat

Birdy: BRO THEY ARE TRYING TO GIVE ME JEWELRY

Birdy: Again, I like jewelry buT NOT WHEN THEY ARE TRYING TO FORCE ME TO MARRY SOMEONE

Frosty: Have you all forgotten that he has been kidnapped?

Cheez-it: Where do we wanna meet up?

Cauliflower: The swamp. Sinestro can meet us there.

Yellow Submarine: I DID NOT AGREE

Cheez-it: Didn’t he literally buy you a ton of Pumpkin spice gifts

Yellow Submarine: If he doesn’t come back to earth soon I will “crash out” as you all say.

Birdy: Damn im just a source of Pumpkin spice for him

Worse Mirror Man: Eh it could be worse

Worse Mirror Man: At least your pretty on top of that

Birdy: Bruh

X: Artemis and I will be at the swamp in about an hour

Sharky: Lawton and I will be there soon as well. Boomer is too afraid.

First Murder Victim: OI

Yellow Submarine: See you there.

JLChaos

11:21 AM

Kiddo: I don’t know how I got into this situation

Broody: Report Shazam.

Kiddo: So apparently Swamp Thing woke up, left the earth for a while, came back

Kiddo: So I went to check

Kiddo: Now I am having milkshakes with a bunch of people

Spedster: Wait I want a milkshake

Redhead speed: dude just go get one

Cy: Imagine Dude’ing your uncle

Redhead speed: Stfu

Broody: Who are you having milkshakes with?

Kiddo: Oh!!! Apparently they went to save their friend

Kiddo: I don’t know if I should say who said friend is

Guy: You totally should

WWE: But you are safe?

Kiddo: Yeah

Kiddo: I’m pretty sure if anyone tried to do anything there would be murder

Kiddo: Captain Boomerang looks terrified

OG Arrowman: That's kinda hilarious

Windy: Who else is there?

Kiddo: Oh dang apparently the person they went to get got kidnapped by an alien race

Kiddo: I plead the fifth

WWE: Billy.

Kiddo: Uhm

Kiddo: I very much respect you Miss. Prince but I continue to plead the fifth

Guy: LMAO

Greenie: Guy shut up.

Guy: Fuck off Jordan

Constantine: Well obviously he’s around Swamp thing.

Kiddo: He likes mint milkshakes :D

Constantine: See?

Kiddo: Also Sinestro is a heathen who likes Pumpkin Spice and should be put down

Greenie: NO SHOT

Redhead speed: What

Spedster: Hoyl shit is Sinestro there??????

Kiddo: …no?

Windy: Where are you.

Kiddo: IM NOT ONE OF YOUR CHARGES TORNADO

Windy: You are a child. And a hero. Ergo.

Kiddo: >:P

Kiddo: Im going back to my milkshake

Spedster: NO YOU COME BACK HERE

Kiddo: [Selfie of Billy, with Swamp thing waving at the camera. You can see Poison Ivy and Solomon Grundy in the back as well]

Redhead speed: WHAT

Redhead speed: DO NOT LISTEN TO ANYTHING THEY SAY

Redhead speed: ANY OF THEM

Greenie: Is that about what they called you the other day

Redhead speed: I do not know how many of them know and have decided to call me that

Constantine: Lol call you what?

Redhead speed: Nothing.

Greenie: Lol

Redhead speed: Fuck off Jordan

Spedster: whoa now

Redhead speed: IM AN ADULT

Spedster: I forget sometimes :((

Screech: Aww Barry

Screech: Don’t worry Oliver sometimes does the same thing with Roy

OG Arrowman: DINAH DO NOT SNITCH ON ME

Screech: Too late!

Billy >>>> Dick

11:30 AM

Billy: don’t worry Mr. Grayson your secret is safe with me! 🫡

Dick: You don’t need to keep secrets for me

Dick: and you can just call me Dick

Billy: no >:)

Dick: Sigh

Billy: Lol

Billy: Thank you for the milkshake :D

Dick: Of course

Dick: If you need anything lemme know

Billy: Okay!!

Billy: But also how can you be around Sinestro when he actually likes Pumpkin Spice milkshakes

Dick: I’ve seen weirder tastes in my life

Billy: I do not believe that

Dick: I wish I was lying kiddo

Chapter Text

OG's 

9:00 PM

Best TL: Dick are you okay? What planet are you on? I just was able to get to my phone

BirdBat: Yeah I’m good now, back on earth

BirdBat: Friends helped me out

Best TL: Do you need anything?

BirdBat: Nah Kaldur, thanks <3

Best TL: Was it Starfire who helped you back? Were you injured?

BirdBat: No and no

BirdBat: Just a bigger ego lmao

Arrowcat: Why did they even kidnap you?

BirdBat: Marriage

Truly Speedy: HUH

Somehow Speedy: How did you get kidnapped by aliens

BirdBat: Idfk

Truly Speedy: No go back to the previous answer??? What do you mean marriage???

Somehow Speedy: Who even went and got you??? Kori has been with J and I on a mission

BirdBat: Yeah I got that wHEN NO ONE RESPONDED

Somehow Speedy: IM SORRY

Best TL: Then who got you back to earth?

BirdBat: Friend

Best TL: Hm.

Arrowcat: Well you’ve worried Kaldur with your vagueness

BirdBat: No need to worry Kaldur! Promise :)

OG Clone: I don’t think thats how it works

OG Clone: Sorry I didn’t respond

BirdBat: Kon and Jon broke your phone again?

OG Clone: I broke it

BirdBat: Kon sent you something didn’t he

OG Clone: He refuses to stop

OG Clone: They downloaded several social medias on it

OG Clone: That's not how it broke I dropped it on the farm and ran it over on accident

OG Clone: I know how to use phones but I don’t know how to get rid of the social medias

Garland: I’m sure any of us could help you Conner

OG Clone: That’s if Kon doesn’t do it again

Garland: Well we can help so you know how to get rid of them in future

Wonder Sis: Is young justice still doing the thing where they are ranking their favorite heroes?

OG Clone: Yes but Dick is banned from the running

BirdBat: I didn’t even do anything

OG Clone: No you got banned because you would sweep

OG Clone: Apparently the first time they did it one of them jokingly said you sucked, Tim gave them a look and Bart actually tried to bite them

Truly Speedy: Fucks sake

Wonder Sis: Lmao

Truly Speedy: Bart is a brat

BirdBat: you know my opinion on that one

Truly Speedy: That's because he only listens to you and Barry

Truly Speedy: He barely listens to me

BirdBat: Now that's not true

Truly Speedy: Well Billy Batson has made friends with Swamp thing and I think Sinestro among other villains

Best TL: What?
Garland: HOW

Wonder Sis: I'm not too surprised

Somehow Speedy: why has he befriended them

Rav: How are any of us surprised

Cy: Wally snitching to the Titans chat

Truly Speedy: That's the only reason I agreed to be added to the main JL chat

Truly Speedy: So I could snitch

Garland: Aren’t most of us in that one?

Truly Speedy: Different one

Wonder Sis: Damn :/ Keeping us out

Beastie: hey dick

BirdBat: Whats up?

Beastie: You should thank your lucky stars that Raven was busy when you first messaged us all because otherwise she would’ve gone apeshit on your kidnaparghjsgnajwrnjkgnransfl

Rav: Shut up.

BirdBat: Love you too Raven! You’re a great sister :)

Cy: I can feel her being happy

Cy: I just can

Wonder Sis: Lol

Wonder Sis: Dick you are such a softie when it comes to any of your siblings

Truly Speedy: He is

Star: Hi all

Wonder Sis: Hi Kori!!!

Garland: lol

BirdBat: Hey Star!

BirdBat: Donna lol

Wonder Sis: I will beat you

BirdBat: HEY

Arrowcat: Im the same when it comes to women don’t worry Donna

Arrowcat: Wally is rather useless when it comes to anyone attractive

Truly Speedy: HEY NOW

Wally >>>> Kaldur

9:53 PM

Wally: Kaldur

Wally: Kaldur I just realized something

Kaldur: What?

Wally: KALDUR

Wally: Oh hi

Kaldur: What did you realize?

Wally: Its a theory

Wally: And you seemed very worried when Dick wouldn’t tell us who helped him

Wally: This might make you more concerned

Kaldur: Say it.

Wally: Billy had said that the villains he was with had gone to save their friend, then Dick being vague about who helped him???

Wally: I know that he befriends most people but

Kaldur: Hm. You may be right.

Kaldur: We should ask him about it.

Wally: When has Dick ever been direct about this kinda stuff???

Kaldur: I will figure it out.

Chapter Text

CHaos In A BoX

10:04 PM

Birdy: I AM IN PROBLEM

Worse Mirror Man: What have ya done?

Birdy: Aqualad is suspicious of me

Thyme: Which one?

Birdy: Blond one

Thyme: Oh he's cool

Birdy: THEY BOTH ARE

Thyme: Debatable

Zamboni: What's going on?

Birdy: Lisa he is suspicious of who rescued me

Birdy: He has beed checking in on me more

Zamboni: It just sounds like he cares about you

Birdy: I KNOW BUT HES GONNA GIVE ME SUCH A LECTURE

X: We could just add him to the chat

Birdy: N O 

Artezon: There's already one hero, another one wouldn’t be too bad

Yellow Submarine: I don’t suppose I would mind if he is worried about it

Birdy: ????

Yellow Submarine: You buy me Pumpkin Spice things you are

Yellow Submarine: An acquaintance. A good one.

Auntie H: AWWWWWWWWWWW

Yellow Submarine: I rescind what I said.

Crocpot: I don’t think you can do that now

Crocpot: If it would make him feel better I can tell him I would eat any of you all if you tried to kill him again

Field Boy: Hey my stuff doesn’t work on that menace

Birdy: I am a menace

Birdy: But no eating people

Mindful: I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to have another hero in this chat.

First Murder Victim: At least this one wouldn't threaten my existence

Worse Mirror Man: You could always say your dating one of us

X: No.

Worse Mirror Man: It would piss off the Red X here

First Murder Victim: I think you just want to get murdered by a certain speedster

Ice Cold: Or piss him off to that point

Birdy: I think Kaldur would think I was being mind controlled

Birdy: And Donna would actually kill me

Questioner: Names

Waddles: Names

Cheez-it: Names

Reflectoid: NAMESSSSSSSSSSSS

Sharky: Names!

Wheel Runner: Names

Birdy: Shit

Birdy: Thanks

Birdy has deleted two messages

X: Deleted them on my end too. If you want you can hack my devices and delete

Yellow Submarine: I have figured out the delete function!

Reflectoid: He’s unstoppable now!!!

Zamboni: Smh

Reflectoid: You love me

Zamboni: I sure do <3

Ice Cube: Do not do this in this chat.

Coldwave: Lmao Lisa traumatizing her brother

X: How many people were just lurking before the slip up lmao???

Sharky: I was doing the lurking!

Sharky: Aqualad is quite formidable. Both of them. They both also seem kind

Sharky: I would not mind either joining this chat!

Birdy: Unless it goes further no

Auntie H: Alright just keep us in the loop!

Yellow Submarine: If needed I can deal with certain individuals.

Glowstick: Who knew the key to getting Sinestro on your side was Pumpkin Spice Lattes

Yellow Submarine: What is a latte

Crocpot: LYNNS

Crocpot: WHY

Glowstick: LMAO

X: Oh wait this’ll be great

Yellow Submarine: I will be back

Crocpot: He is a heathen

Birdy: Aaaaanyway

Birdy: What are you all doing

X: I’m stealing stuff

Graveliver: I am having lunch with Waylon, Swamp Thing, and Nananue.

Graveliver: Since we all are massive we are friends now

Auntie H: Thats sweet!

Auntie H: Maybe you lot could get Bane to join ya

Birdy: Yeah that man needs therapy too

Auntie H: Ives and I are on a date :D

Auntie H: Bats is probs gonna interrupt it

X: Because you're blowing stuff up?

Auntie H: You know it!

Thyme: I am running late to lunch

Crocpot: We were wondering where you were lol

Glowstick: Wait thats actually sweet

Glowstick: Mick and I are committing arson

Ice Cold: I am now stopping Mick from committing arson

Coldwave: GARFIELD YOU SNITCH

Glowstick: Hey maybe he can join us

Zamboni: Oh he wont stop you Gar, hes worried about Mick

Ice Cold: No I am not.

Zamboni: Sure

Reflectoid: Get him

Ice Cold: Sam.

Zamboni: To answer what we are doing birdy, Sam and I are watching movies

Reflectoid: We watched The Mummy, but this one was different than the Brendan Fraiser one

Reflectoid: Tom Cruise one

Reflectoid: Not bad but not as good as the other one

Zamboni: You just love the Brendan Fraiser one

Reflectoid: IT IS THE PERFEFCT BLEND OF BODY HORROR, HORROR, MYTHOLOGY, ROMANCE AND ACTION

Reflectoid: I WILL DIE ON THAT HILL

Field Boy: The wrong side of the river Benny

Reflectoid: YES

Questioner: It is a rather good movie

Questioner: Not perfect

Reflectoid: it doesnt have to be perfect to be enjoyed

Field Boy: REAL

Field Boy: Anyway I’m hunting Zazz with fear toxin :D

Questioner: Zsasz

Field Boy: I don’t respect him enough to spell it right.

Baseball Bat: Get his ass

Baseball Bat: He's a little bitch

Field Boy: I'm debating on peeling him

Waddles: DO NOT SAY IT LIKE THAT

Questioner: I-

Wheel Runner: Holy shit lmao

Birdy: I cant disagree with that??

Questioner: Just make sure he dies if you do peel him

Questioner: And make sure that Hugo and Pyg don’t get their hands on him

Baseball Bat: Wait can I help

Field Boy: Definitely.

Frosty: If you need me, just call.

Field Boy: HAHAHA!!!!!!!

Reflectoid: Also The Relic based on the book is so different to the book

Reflectoid: I get that its meant to be a standalone but still

Reflectoid: Lisa enjoyed the book so much and it makes me a little sad that its so different

Zamboni: Remember that movies give less time love

Zamboni: And I did enjoy the movie

Bop-it: Excuse me while I puke

Bop-it: But I’m at the hospital because a kid requested The Top for some reason

Bop-it: So that's where I am

Wheel Runner: and you act like you're a total monster

Worse Mirror Man: You know what I'm doing birdy ;)

X: Evan.

Worse Mirror Man: GRODD HAS US BOTH AS HOSTAGES IN KEYSTONE CHILL

Worse Mirror Man: I spaced out halfway through him explaining why we’re hostages

Mindful: Because I am trying to take over Keystone’s speed force! I needed hostages and you both were in Keystone

Worse Mirror Man: Hey at least we get to hang out

Worse Mirror Man: and I can piss off Flash

Birdy: Aqualad is going to be so suspicious

Birdy: I am so screwed :(((

Mindful: You will be fine

Mindful: I have put you in a metal cage!

Mindful: And I will harness the speed force.

Birdy: Greaaaaaaat

Worse Mirror Man: Eh youll be fine birdy

Worse Mirror Man: The Fumble King never liked me so I may not be so lucky

Mindful: I will harness the energy from him! He is the strongest flash

Mindful: He has the closest connection with the speedforce

Birdy: This is gonna end in Zolomon somehow having us as hostages isnt it

Mindful: Z*lomon is pathetic

Worse Mirror Man: Probably

Worse Mirror Man: Or him killing you

Birdy: Thanks

Mindful: SILENCE WHILE I TAKE THE SPEED FORCE

Worse Mirror Man: What if Garrick shows up instead?

Mindful: SILENCE!!!

Waddles: Well I’m relaxing at the iceberg lounge.

Emo Arrow: I just escaped from some of the kid arrows

Emo Arrow: I may hate Green Arrow but they are getting better

Mild Condensation: Well I’m doing weather stuff in Central

Mindful: Ha! I do not need such a simple distraction

Mild Condensation: Rude

Mild Condensation: Now I may just go over to Keystone :)

Worse Mirror Man: Grayson is looking into the distance like he's having flashbacks lol

Birdy: Literally fuck off.

Cheez-it: I’m reading

Birdy: What book?

Cheez-it: Agatha Christie Thirteen at Dinner

Birdy: Oh that's a good one

Cheez-it: It is! Diana recommended it

Cheez-it: Shut up.

Birdy: No one said anything

Cheez-it: I could feel it

Worse Mirror Man: Dang Grodd just left us in this cage floating

Worse Mirror Man: Hes probably gonna do some dramatic reveal

Worse Mirror Man: I mean we could traumatize the both of them-

Worse Mirror Man: If you catch my drift

Birdy: Literally stop.

Worse Mirror Man: It would be hilarious

Birdy: Evan I will kill you.

Worse Mirror Man: Damn :/

Ice Cold: You really want West to straight up give you a fate worse than death dont you

Birdy: He wouldn’t kill Evan??

Worse Mirror Man: Lmao

Ice Cold: Sure

Wheel Runner: He so would

Coldwave: Yeah Evan would be screwed

Worse Mirror Man: Ope I just heard a loud crash

Worse Mirror Man: If anything interesting actually happens I’ll update lol

Yellow Submarine: I have tried this Pumpkin Spice latte drink and it is quite good.

Crocpot: GODDAMNIT

Chapter Text

CHaos IN A BoX

8:13 AM

One-Shot: So what ended up happening with Grodd?

Worse Mirror Man: I FORGOT TO UPDATE ABRAHGKLABEKLJDNKA

One-Shot: Lol

Wheel Runner: LMAO

Worse Mirror Man: So eventually they ended up near the cage that we had been put in

Worse Mirror Man: Grodd revealed who he had hostage

Worse Mirror Man: (I still think my idea would’ve been hilarious)

One-Shot: If the Flash didn’t kill you I think the Bat would've

Worse Mirror Man: Rude

Worse Mirror Man: But you could see Flash’s entire demeanor change slightly when he saw that Grayson was a hostage

Worse Mirror Man: Of course he didn't care about me being one!!!

Worse Mirror Man: But we all know of the Third Flash’s famous temper lmao

Worse Mirror Man: Grodd’s in prison with probably a ton of broken bones

Worse Mirror Man: And the look I was given when he got us both out of the cage was actually spooky

Worse Mirror Man: Like the prick thought it was my fault we ended up in a cage

Worse Mirror Man: At least I wasn't in suit or it would’ve probably been a punch

Worse Mirror Man: I honestly thought for a second the temper was gonna end up hitting me

Worse Mirror Man: But you all should’ve seen when the birdy thanked him. Thought he was gonna vibrate out of his own suit

Auntie H: awwwwwh

Zamboni: lol

Zamboni: What about you Marco? How did the weather stuff in Central go?

Mild Condensation: Flash made me feel bad :(((

Zamboni: Sounds about right

Birdy: I WAS RIGHT

Birdy: BUT THEY'RE WORKING TOGETHER

Mild Condensation: About what?

Birdy: Aqualad and Flash :((((((

Zamboni: Oh hon

Zamboni: Is Aqualad now more concerned?

Birdy: Yeah they both are now checking in on me even more

First Murder Victim: Why not add them both

First Murder Victim: So Evan can fear for his life too

Worse Mirror Man: NOT UNTIL

Zamboni: Until what?

Reflectoid: Oh my god I just realized what hes trying to do

Reflectoid: Trying to make certain someone so jealous that theres no choice but to confess

Coldwave: Evan thats not what youre doing right

Worse Mirror Man: Im also trying to piss him off to get revenge for him thinking I was the worse mirror master

X: Oh my god

Coldwave: EVAN HES GOING TO KILL YOU IF YOU ARENT CAREFUL

Reflectoid: Rip

Worse Mirror Man: Birdy will you at least give a tearful speech at my funeral

Birdy: I’ll show up

Worse Mirror Man: Fair

X: Never have I seen someone so stupid

Auntie H: But it’s kinda genius? They both are so stubborn and care about each other so much

Birdy: Okay now I’m worried and confused

Birdy: DAMNIT AQUALAD IS CALLING ME BRB

Aunt Ivy: Kid has flown too close to the sun

Yellow Submarine: If they try to prevent me from hanging out with him I will rain pain upon them

X: Jeez you and your Pumpkin Spice fix

Yellow Submarine: Yes but he’s also far less annoying than any of you

Cheez-it: What about Jordan?

Yellow Submarine: He is bearable.

Bop-it: Lol

Cheez-it: Weren’t you Gotham folks gonna try to call Flash Fumble King to his face?

Auntie H: Yep

Questioner: We decided it would probably be best to let things calm down a tiny bit

Field Boy: We did?

Auntie H: Crane what are you doing

Field Boy: Im in Keystone :)))

Questioner: YES I GET ALL THE GIRL SCOUT COOKIES

Field Boy: ILL KILL YOU WHEN I GET BACK

Auntie H: If you actually call him that then I’ll save you a few boxes

Field Boy: On it

Birdy: I have made a terrible mistake

X: Oh no

X: What did you do

Birdy: Let you all save me in the first place

Birdy: Do you think the aliens would take me back

X: No.

Auntie H: Not happening kiddo

Yellow Submarine: Absolutely not.

Birdy: Dang it :/

Birdy: Anyway I see you Crane

Field Boy: OH HI :D

Birdy: DO N O T COME TOWARDS ME

Field Boy: :(((((

Field Boy: Watch this

Birdy: Oh ffs I should’ve left Keystone last night :/

Aunt Ivy: Whats he doing?

Birdy: Making a racket

Worse Mirror Man: You should totally record it

Birdy: Sigh

Birdy: [ Scarecrow is in the middle of the street. Keystone citizens are running away from him, even though he seemingly hasn’t released any fear gas. He is walking down the road like a gremlin.

Jay Garrick shows up.

Crane looks visibly disheartened, and talks to Garrick, “Awh. I was hoping for the Fumble King. Oh well, have a nice day!”

Jay looks genuinely confused. Crane has turned from him, then they both disappear in a gust of speed.]

Auntie H: Does…Does the first Flash even know what that means?

Coldwave: I don’t know lol

Field Boy: He dropped me off at the edge of Gotham :D

Field Boy: Girl Scout cookie time :DD

Yellow Submarine: What is a Girl Scout? Why do they have cookies?

Coldwave: Oh boy

Wally >>>> Dick

9:00 AM

Walls: Hey

Walls: Why was Scarecrow in Keystone

Dick: Idk?? Remember I’m also in Keystone

Walls: RIGHT

Walls: Are you okay now? Like I know that Grodd is a jerk

Dick: I’m all good Walls

Walls: Okay just wanted to check

Dick: All good

Walls: Did you know the other person who was kidnapped with you?

Dick: Kinda? I just know he’s scottish

Dick: And wasn’t a total jerk

Walls: Ah

Walls: Just curious

Dick: Why?

Dick: Stop reading my mind like that

Walls: LMAO

Walls: Fits my nickname you gave me

Walls: I'm in the walls

Dick: Well that would be concerning seeing as the walls near me are concrete

Walls: Wait is that why its my nickname

Walls: Because of the going through them

Dick: Maybe

Walls: How dare

Dick: Lol

Walls: SONGINEA:R:FDAFNL:KRLG

Dick: Is that so?

Walls: ALSO

Walls: Jay asked me what “Fumble King” means

Dick: Oh no

Walls: And it was in front of Bart

Walls: I have never seen a kid look so determined to understand why Scarecrow was asking for a “Fumble King” that was supposed to be in Keystone

Walls: I can’t look at him or else he will sense my weakness

Walls: He’ll just know

Dick: Bart is sweet, he’ll only make fun of you for a while

Walls: No he isn’t

Dick: Who even was it referring to?

Walls: RIGHT I HAVENT TOLD YOU THE STORY

Walls: Wanna meet up? Get some food?

Dick: Augh you just want my wallet

Walls: NO I DONT

Dick: I was kiddin Walls

Walls: Oh

Dick: Anyway I’m headed back to my apartment in New York today

Walls: Awh

Walls: Do you want me to take you back?

Walls: We can hang out before :)

Dick: If you aren’t busy, I would love that

Walls: Alright! See ya in a sec ;)

Dick: Lol

Dick: See ya in a sec

Chapter Text

CHaoS IN A BoX

2:43 AM

Wheel Runner: Do you think the Flash’s could get men pregnant

Field Boy: What

Reflectoid: Maybe

Reflectoid: Why?

Worse Mirror Man: Why would you make me read that with my own two eyes at three in the fuckin mornin you absolute wank

Wheel Runner: Well they technically are reality warpers

Wheel Runner: So theoretically

Ice Cube: Axel what the genuine fuck

Zamboni: Maybe we need a guy to take one for the team to see

Ice Cube: LISA DO NOT ENCOURAGE THIS

Zamboni: I mean its an interesting theory

Questioner: Wait thats an interesting question

Questioner: I can get phone numbers to ask

Birdy: What the actual fuck

Wheel Runner: And the first and second flash’s have only (to our knowledge) dated women

Wheel Runner: Same with Fumble King but theres no way that one is totally straight

Artezon: What about the second one’s relationship with Hal Jordan

X: Artemis??????????

Wheel Runner: Okay I once thought something was there but that man loves his wife far too much

Wheel Runner: Or he got Jordan pregnant and ran off??

Wheel Runner: what if thats where the Kyle one came from

Birdy: I wish I could give myself a lobotomy

Birdy: Actually?

Birdy: Im giving myself a lobotomy, anyone want a matching one

Field Boy: Me please

Field Boy: I thought my bullshit was messed up

Ice Cube: Axel I swear to god it is far too early for this bullshit

Worse Mirror Man: Do you think I could get Fumble King for a hate fling

Worse Mirror Man: THAT WAS A JOKE

Zamboni: Was it? Was it a joke Evan?

Artezon: Pretty sure it was

Artezon: He likes pissing him off far too much

Questioner: True

Questioner: What if I ask them

Reflectoid: Do it

Wheel Runner: Wait I want to go with

Questioner: No I got their phone numbers

Ice Cube: I cant even stop you because I’m not the leader of you Gotham Rogues

Coldwave: How many mpreg storylines do you think they could be a part of

Coldwave: with the super speed and stuff

Ice Cube: Im actually going to turn you all in

Ice Cube: It is too fucking early

Wheel Runner: What if thats where Impulse and the new Kid Flash came from

Wheel Runner: Mpreg storyline

Ice Cube: WE ALL KNOW IMPULSE IS FROM THE FUTURE

Wheel Runner: …Mpreg future

Ice Cube: Oh ffs Its too early for this

Zamboni: He is from an alternate timeline! It could be!

Ice Cube: Im disowning you :/

Zamboni: No you dont <3

Reflectoid: I think we all know who would take one for the team to test it

Artezon: Bird brain

Birdy: NO??????? WHY DO OYU THINK I WOULD TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM??????

Artezon: Because you would

Birdy: I have strong words for you

Field Boy: I think he wants to say “kys” but he’s to nice to say it

Birdy: No thats not what I wanted to say

Field Boy: Something emotionally devastating?

Birdy: You know it

Wheel Runner: What if thats where all the different kid heroes came from

Wheel Runner: The wombs of the male heroes because of the Flash’s

Emo Arrow: What the actual fuck is wrong with you

Wheel Runner: Lots

Wheel Runner: But also Im just running with it because you all seem so upset by it

Birdy: Bitch.

Wheel Runner: I could say so many things

Emo Arrow: Please do not.

Questioner: So no texting the Flash’s?

Field Boy: It would be funny

Birdy: Ffs

Baseball Bat: The real question is who the Flash’s would get pregnant

Field Boy: HARVEY??????????

Baseball Bat: Bcs we all know that Constantine has questionable taste

Wheel Runner: Wait what if thats how the two superboys happened

Wheel Runner: Who got pregnant

Birdy: Nope.

Birdy: Im done

Birdy: Tapping out

Emo Arrow: Luthor

Field Boy: I-

Zamboni: Never did I imagine in any world Harvey and Merlyn getting involved in this conversation

Wheel Runner: Mpegged.

Ice Cold: Maybe the flash will take me to a high security prison

Birdy: Why. Why do I continue to be in this chat

X: Axel how does yoru brain work

Wheel Runner: :))

Wheel Runner: Since they’re technically reality warpers cant they ccontrol how many kids

Wheel Runner: Oh my god its like the sims

Zamboni: Do you think they could alter how fertile other people are???

Ice Cold: LISA

Ice Cold: I LOVE YOU BUT STOP

Reflectoid: Don’t stop babe youre doing fantastic

First Murder Victim: Do you think thats where all the batkids came from

Birdy: I swear to GOD Harkness

Chapter Text

Batchat

9:34 AM

Batdad: Richard John Grayson answer your phone.

Baby bird: What has he done Father?

Batdad: Nothing, if he answers his phone.

Lil’ Wing: ooooooo

Lil’ Wing: Golden boy is in troubleeeeeeeee

Glitter Force: Dang what did he do

Glitter Force: Kill somebody?

Batdad: No.

Glitter Force: Cass guessed that he got injured

Batdad: No.

Lil’Wing: Something dumb?

Batdad: No.

Dick >>>> Bruce

9:39 AM

Dick: Oay hi sorry

Dad: I called you at least six times.

Dad: Are you okay?

Dick: Just fine! No need to send Clark

Dick: Whats up?

Dad: You weren’t answering my phone call.

Dad: I was worried.

Dick: Did you think I had blocked you and kept the notifs for the family chat on?

Dad: …It was a stretch.

Dick: You’re a worrywart.

Dad: I love you, and I worry.

Dick: No need

Dick: I’m just vibing.

Dad: Ah.

Dad: I too, am “vibing”.

Dick: Oh my god lol

Dad: Anyway

Dad: If you hear anything about Batman doing something, disregard it.

Dick: Oh no

Dick: B what did you do

Dick: Did condiment king finally piss you off enough for you to break every bone in his body?

Dick: Or did you kill a villain to protect one of the younger ones

Dad: I do not kill.

Dick: I knowwwwwww

Dick: Bcs you’re boring :/

Dad: Not killing isn’t boring.

Dick: (It was a joke)

Dad: Oh.

Dad: Funny.

Dad: Also let me know next time you hang out with your villain

Dad: “Friends”.

Dick: HUH

Dad: I do not like that you are hanging out with them. But I cannot control you. So just let me know so I know you are safe.

Dick: I-

Dick: Howd you find out

Dick: Who snitched

Dad: …I’m Batman.

Dick: Sure

Dad: And I put it together because you messaged me that you got kidnapped then Billy messaged us.

Dick: ope

Dick: Ig thats how Kaldur and Wally are putting it together

Dad: Hm. I’m not surprised.

Dick: Why didn’t you pick up the phone when it happened????

Dad: I regrettably had been poisoned.

Dick: Oh shut

Dick: Are you okay now?

Dad: Of course.

Dad: Ra’s Al Ghul can just be annoying.

Dick: Yeah he’s a fucker :/

Dad: Don’t say that in front of your brother.

Dick: I WOULDN’T

Dad: Alright.

Dad: But you are okay now?

Dick: Yeah, Sinestro and the Rogues (Central and Gotham) came and got me

Dick: We had milkshakes :D

Dad: Didn’t you recently get kidnapped by Grodd as well?

Dick: Yeah but that was more because I was in Keystone and he was on some bs

Dick: He held me and the second (retired) mirror master in a cage :/

Dad: Hmph.

Dad: That explains why Wally has been more rude to me than normal.

Dick: He has?

Dick: Wait why does that explain it

Dad: Because you are his best friend.

Dick: ah

Dad: I am glad to hear that you are okay.

Dick: Therapy is doing wonders for you and your communication

Dad: It is.

Dick: Now go be protective of the kids in the manor :P

Dick: Pretty sure that Dami has a school project that's due tomorrow, and he hasn’t done it.

Dad: I knew I was forgetting something.

Dick: I think Duke helped start it, but they haven't finished it lol

Dad: This conversation will continue in future if needed.

Dick: I knowwwwwwwww

Dick: Love you!

Dad: I love you too chum.

Dick: Wait you never answered what you did

Dick: B

Batchat

10:01 AM

Little Light: Okay but what did Dick do??

Big Bird: I didn’t answer the phone fast enough lol

Lil’ Wing: Wow Dick not answering the phone, what else is new

Baby bird: Todd I will harm you.

Little bird: For once I agree with Damian

Glitter Force: Cass isn’t happy with you either

Big Bird: O-kayyyyy

Big Bird: He made a joke, no need to be unhappy with him

Little Light: I kinda agree with the others

Big Bird: Sigh

Lil’ Wing: Okay my joke did not land

Lil’ Wing: Sorry about that

Baby bird: Father get him in trouble.

Baby bird: I get in trouble when I do not watch my words.

Lil’ Wing: HEY IM AN ADULT

Little bird: I'm eighteen but that doesn’t stop B

Big Bird: Im the oldest and that doesn’t stop Bruce

Lil’ Wing: Shut

Big Bird: Lol

Chapter Text

CHaoS IN A BOX

10:57 AM

Yellow Submarine: Do you all remember the alien race that took Grayson?

Wheel Runner: Wow Sinestro talking first in the chat for once

Wheel Runner: And yeah

Yellow Submarine: Batman got to them.

Birdy: What

Auntie H: LMAO

Auntie H: I am not surprised in the slightest

Aunt Ivy: Me neither

Baseball Bat: he is very protective of his children

Waddles: Hes protective of any kid

Birdy: Did someone tell him which aliens took me???

Yellow Submarine: I did not.

Ice Cube: It’s Batman

Ice Cube: I wouldn’t be surprised if he figured it out himself

Zamboni: That explains a lot tho lol

Emo Arrow: It explains why Luthor was trying to get in touch with me because Superman was off-world and he wanted to deal with the other heroes while he could

Coldwave: Guessing you said no?

Emo Arrow: Of course

Emo Arrow: One, Im not dealing with Luthor right now

Emo Arrow: Two, hes delusional if he thinks I’m gonna try and fight anywhere near Wonder Woman

Field Boy: Shes terrifying

Cheez-it: I’ve fought her before, shes not that scary

Auntie H: You’re gay for her and she likes you

Cheez-it: EXCUESE

Mindful: I have seen her go all out.

Mindful: I will admit that it is intimidating.

Birdy: Okay but what do you mean that Batman “got to them”

Yellow Submarine: I believe you all would call it, “Put the fear of god” into them.

Crocpot: He’s learning

Glowstick: Yeah that’s not surprising

Glowstick: Didn’t he nearly kill the J*ker once?

Birdy: SHHHHHHH

Waddles: We don’t talk about that

Frosty: I believe he should’ve been allowed to.

Baseball Bat: No he chose not to :/

Birdy: Okay we’ve all had this convo before so no rehashing.

Baseball Bat: Fair enough

Field Boy: Did they tell him that I also fear gassed the aliens :)

Birdy: WHAT

Field Boy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT

Field Boy: ITS LIKE MY WHOLE THING

Yellow Submarine: According to what I heard, he said “Good. Now I can show you what true fear feels like.”

Questioner: Oh dear god

Questioner: I actually feel kinda bad for the aliens

Auntie H: I don’t

Auntie H: They kidnapped my nephew to force him to marry their ruler

Birdy: I’m sure it was just a miscommunication or smth

Aunt Ivy: A miscommunication.

Birdy: Listen here

Graveliver: Yeah Batman can be scary.

Graveliver: I don’t win against him when we do fight :<

Coldwave: Wait why is Grundy using that emoji both sad and adorable

Zamboni: TRUE

Mild Condensation: Because Grundy is a sweetheart when he’s not trying to bash your skull in?

Graveliver: Most of those were misunderstandings.

Mild Condensation: Most

Birdy: Lol

Cheez-it: Diana doesn’t like me

Auntie H: Oh honey you're still on that? She so does

Auntie H: My gaydar is crazy

Questioner: Its true she has clocked so many people so hard that it nearly gave them whiplash.

Chapter Text

CHaOS IN A BOX

8:03 PM

First Murder Victim: Okay who has been changing the chat name to capitalize the letters?

Sharky: I too was curious about this!

Wheel Runner: Not me

Wheel Runner: I may be Trickster but this is not one of my tricks

Ice Cube: It almost seems like a countdown of some sort.

Artezon: Greatttttt

X: Cold why would you say this

X: Now im nervous

Auntie H: One letter left!

Auntie H: I'm not gonna touch it cause I kinda want to see what happens when it happens organically.

Crocpot: Well

Birdy has added Kallad to the chat

Sharky: Oh hello!

Wheel Runner: WHOMST

X: Dang not even asking before adding folks this time

Kallad: I have his device.

Kallad: Now who are you all.

Artezon: Oh shit hes in so much trouble lmao

Thyme: AQUALAD????? IS THAT WHO GOT ADDED

Thyme: PLEASE TELL ME ITS AQUALAD

Kallad: Hm. So you do know who I am.

Wheel Runner: RIPPPPPPPPP

Yellow Submarine: Is he safe? Why do you have his device?

Cheez-it: Dont get between him and his pumpkin spice lmao

Kallad: He was injured. Currently in medical. I'm using it as a chance to investigate and make sure he's not putting himself in danger.

Kallad: Now answer the question.

Auntie H: AWWWW HI AQUALADDDDD

Auntie H: WHich one are you? Blondie or dark hair??

Auntie H: You both are adorbs tho

Aunt Ivy: Sigh.

Kallad: I see based on the names in his phone you are presumably Pamela Isley and Harleen Quinzel.

Auntie: You got it on the dot! Though she prefers Ivy.

Kallad: Hm.

First Murder Victim: Whats my nickname in his phone

Kallad: First Murder Victim.

Zamboni: Oh shit lmao

First Murder Victim: HUH

First Murder Victim: WHY

X: Well if he had the contact info for J*ker you'd probably be second

First Murder Victim: …True.

Kallad: I'm assuming X is the Red X.

X: Yep. Thats me

Artezon: Artemis of Bana-Mighdall.

Kallad: I know you.

Artezon: Yep. You do

Thyme: Im Basil Karlo, or Clayface :D

Kallad: That explains the nickname

Thyme: I love it

Crocpot: Is he okay?

Crocpot: Waylon Jones by the way

Crocpot: He did cancel our weekly tea session

Crocpot: Well me having hot cocoa

Kallad: He has weekly tea sessions with Killer Croc?

Crocpot: Yeah

Worse Mirror Man: Oh hes in so much trouble lmaoooooooo

Worse Mirror Man: love that for him

Kallad: He is okay.

Coldwave: Not for long lmao

Kallad: Why wouldn’t he be?

Coldwave: No I meant that you're gonna get him

Coldwave: I wasn’t threatening him

Kallad: Ah.

Emo Arrow: Kid you are using so many periods good lord

Auntie H: Feels like I'm in a women's club, the amount of periods

Questioner: HARLEY

Field Boy: LMAOOOOOO

Mindful: That is ratehr funny.

Mild Condensation: ratehr

Mindful: I will turn your brain into mush.

Mild Condensation: OKAY WOAH THERE GRODD

Kallad: There are so many people in this chat.

Crocpot: Yeah it was overwhelming when I first joined :/

Crocpot: You only have whatever context that Birdy’s contact names give you

X: Which probably isn’t a lot

X: Love him, but the amount of nicknames makes me confused

Birdy: SHIT

Kallad: Hm. Seems you have your phone back.

Birdy: DID YOU MAKE A COPY OF MY PHONE TO GET IN???

Birdy: You’ll tell the others if I remove you won’t you :(

Kallad: Yes. Wally and I were worried.

Sharky: NAME

Ice Cube: Names

Reflectoid: NAMESSSS

Worse Mirror Man: Names!!!!!!

Kallad has deleted one message

Birdy: Yeah they’re good on catching names and letting others know

Kallad: So they’re insistent on the heroes in the chat not letting identities slip? Wouldn’t that help them?

Emo Arrow: Wow we’re right here :/

Baseball Bat: Yeah it would, but we already know at least one identity

Auntie H: Yep!

Auntie H: But we want to keep Birdy in the chat :D

Yellow Submarine: Unfortunately he is more tolerable than most of the people in this chat.

First Murder Victim: Why is that my contact name

Birdy: You know why.

Birdy: And I don’t have the J*nklers contact (thank god)

Aunt Ivy: LMAO??

X: TOLD YOU SOOOOOO

Kallad: I will stay in this chat. But mostly just lurk.

X: Fair

Cheez-it: Have fun with the lurking

Zamboni: Prepare to be traumatized by some of the bullshit

Kallad: I am suddenly even more concerned.

Birdy: Don’t be lol

Birdy: I’ll help you name contacts

Birdy: Are you in the hall? Or in another room

Kallad: On my way

Sharky: Rest well and be better Birdy :D

Birdy: I'm all good, but thank you :D

Emo Arrow: You were injured enough for the water boy to get your phone

Emo Arrow: Well a copy

Birdy: Merlyn.

Emo Arrow: HEY

Wheel Runner: Wait what’s my contact name Grayson

Birdy: Wheel Runner

Wheel Runner: Okay I actually love that

Bop-it: Im confused.

Wheel Runner: My name is Axel Walker????

Wheel Runner: So Wheel Runner

Bop-it: OH

Kallad: So you’re all idiots.

Birdy: Yep. Just as much as us

Auntie H: Yeppers!

Field Boy: Yeah we’re dumb as rocks

Worse Mirror Man: But Birdy here loves us for it ;)

Worse Mirror Man: Especially me

Birdy: Literally stop.

Kallad: Oh.

Wheel Runner: This chat is also the reason that we’ve been calling the Third Flash “Fumble King”

Kallad: Dick you said you had no idea why the villains were calling him that

Birdy: LISTEN

Birdy: I COULDN’T EXACTLY SAY “Hey im in this chat and Im still confused on why they’re calling you that”

Mindful: As I said before, Fumble King fumbled a king.

Birdy: See that doesn’t say anything

Kallad: …

Auntie H: Please tell me you see it to

Kallad: I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone so smart, but so dumb.

Birdy: ???????? HOW DID YOU GET IT INSTANTLY????????

Kallad: I’m the team leader.

Birdy: Killing myself.

Kallad: NO

X: Nope! Not allowed

Birdy: IT WAS A JOKE

Frosty: Sure.

Birdy: I-

Birdy: I wish I was still kidnapped by the aliens :/

X: Ffs I will hit you

Worse Mirror Man: ill hit on you :)

Kallad: So this chat is a mess.

Zamboni: Got in one kiddo

One-Shot: Welcome to the hellscape

Glowstick: I like fire

Questioner: LYNNS IF YOU DESTROY MY PUZZLES AGAIN

Glowstick: IM NOT

Kaldur >>>> Wally

8:53 PM

Kaldur: He is friends with villains

Wally: I KNEW IT

Kaldur: Also I’m pretty sure one of your rogues is in love with him.

Kaldur: So you may have competition

Wally: WHAT

Wally: Also what do mean competition

Kaldur: Wally I’ve known you both for years, it's obvious.

Wally: SHUT

Kaldur: Sigh.

Kaldur: But he is friends with them.

Kaldur: They don’t seem to wish him harm

Wally: Grodd literally had him hostage the other day????

Kaldur: Based on reading from his phone, it was Grodd being dramatic?

Wally: I-

Wally: Lmao?

Kaldur: There is also a villain group chat that Dick is also in.

Wally: START WITH THAT NEXT TIME????

Kaldur: I am in it now as well, mostly to keep an eye on Dick.

Wally: Wait add me

Kaldur: I don’t think I can.

Wally: DANG IT

Wally: Well jsut keep me updated >:(

Kaldur: I will

Wally: I’ll also bug him more now

Chapter Text

CHAOS IN A BOX

10:07 PM

Auntie H: It’s in all caps now

Crocpot: Nothing has happened yet

Frosty: Do not jinx it.

Wheel Runner: Aqualad is actually pretty cool

Ice Cold: Do I want to know?

Worse Mirror Man: Birdy, Axel, Lisa, Sam, X, Ed and I are all hanging out

Worse Mirror Man: Aqualaddie came with Birdy

Worse Mirror Man: Probably to make sure we weren’t trying to convert or kill him

Auntie H: I’m.

Questioner: [Video of Evan falling off a trashcan he was standing on. Cackle of several people heard]

Worse Mirror Man: HEY

Zamboni: We get to laugh at you

Zamboni: If I have to hear one more bad pick-up line directed at the bird I think my soul might die

Reflectoid: LOL

Worse Mirror Man: LISTEN

Kallad: Well I can always call the Third Flash.

Worse Mirror Man: Wait no.

Questioner: DO IT

X: YES INVITE HIM

Birdy: Why would that change anything ???

Worse Mirror Man: It wouldn’t birdy ;)

Worse Mirror Man: FUCK HE WASN’T LYING

X: [Video of a flash of speed, then Wally being there next to Kaldur and Dick. It cuts off Evan making a flirty joke to Dick. Wally’s eyes are narrowed at the villains, especially Evan.

“They’re fine.” Dick shrugs, and starts talking to Lisa and Ed like nothing is wrong.

Wally still looks unsure, and Evan is now as far as possible from Wally as he can be while still being in the group.]

Ice Cold: That’s hilarious

Coldwave: Leonard and I are on the way :D

Ice Cold: I'm busy?

Coldwave: Leonard Snart and I are on the way.

Ice Cold: I am on the way

Zamboni: LMAO

Zamboni: Get him Mick

Zamboni: DRAG HIIMMMMM

Yellow Submarine: I am also on the way.

Wheel Runner: Woo! Time to hear how Pumpkin spice is great :D

Yellow Submarine: Because it is.

Crocpot: No.

Crocpot: You are just fundamentally wrong.

Yellow Submarine: No I am not.

Crocpot: Yes you are.

Wally >>>> Dick

10:38 PM

Walls: hey

Dick: Hey Wally!

Dick: What’s up?

Walls: Why didn’t you tell me about being friends with villains?

Dick: I

Dick: I just didn’t want you to worry

Walls: I’m your best friend, it’s my job to worry about you

Dick: It’s not your job, your job is to worry about my objectivity, remember?

Walls: My job is multifaceted!

Dick: Lol

Walls: I am worried though

Dick: I know, but the ones I’m friends with aren’t that bad

Dick: It’s not like I'm friends with Z*lomon or Th*wne

Dick: Or some of the other weirdos

Walls: LMAO

Walls: Also Fair

Walls: Why did you censor their names lol

Dick: Habit?

Dick: Several names are censored in the group chat im in

Walls: The villain's one?

Dick: Kaldur told you about that

Walls: Yeah

Dick: Well he did add himself by making a copy of my phone

Walls: So I should do that myself?

Dick: NO

Dick: ABSOLUTELY NOT

Walls: C’mon you sound like you’re trying to hide something from me!

Dick: Yes.

Dick: Embarrassing conversations that I’ve had with Donna

Walls: I wouldn’t look at those Dick

Dick: I knoww

Dick: I'm being silly

Walls: RIght sorry :p

Dick: No need <3

Walls: <3

Walls: Do you wanna hang out?

Dick: We are tho

Walls: I mean after this

Walls: Just the two of us

Dick: Oh!

Dick: Yeah :)

Dick: That would be nice

Chapter Text

Dick >>>> Donna

7:53 AM

Dick: Donna I’m so fucked

Dick: Like so badly

Donna: What happened???

Dick: Liek oh my god

Donna: Dick this doesn't explain what happened

Dick: I think I nearly kissed Wally last night

Donna: WAHIO{IT

Donna: WAIT YOU THINK WDYM

Dick: I DONT KNW

Dick: Like we were just talking hanging out after the group we were hanging otu with left, then Kaldur leftm, and it was just the two of us

Dick: We were walking and talking like normal

Dick: Just us things

Dick: Then as we were talking we just kidna drifted closer

Dick: like very close

Dick: Liek so close I could feel his body heat

Dick: GOD I SHOULD NOT SAY THARDHF AEAENOT AEOFNOSF

Dick: And oyr heads got kinda close

Dick: Like a slittle to clsoe

Dick: Then someone came up to uS SO i backed up

Dick: I probably misread the situation

Donna: Oh my god you both are so stupid

Donna: You should’ve just gone for it.

Dick: NO

Dick: DONNA I DON’T WANNA RUIN IT :(

Dick: He’s one of my best friends in the world and I so badly don’t want to ruin the friendship

Dick: Like even if I somehow actually managed to date him, he’d probably figure out how bad I am and hate me :(

Donna: Oh my god I’m going to punch you.

Dick: You know I’m right

Dick: I ruin things :(((

Donna: Richard you are so far from being right.

Donna: Where are you?

Dick: I’m hiding in the manor

Dick: Wally had offered to let me stay the night at his

Dick: But I said no because of what happened

Dick: And then I Zeta’d to the manor

Dick: And now am drowning myself in my blankets

Donna: I am on the way!

Donna: I also have ice cream

Dick: Donna Im not heart broken

Donna: Yes you are.

Donna: And even then, ice cream tends to help with matters of the heart

Dick: Donna Im just gonna become a blanket monster

Donna: I’m sure he’d still love you then

Dick: HE DOESN’t

Donna: We will talk about this more when I get there

Dick: Dami, Duke, Cass, and Steph are all here

Donna: Sleepover?

Dick: Yeah, Duke and Cass wanted Steph to stay over, Tim was busy

Donna: Cuties

Dick: I love them

Donna: Yep, but you don’t want to deal with them in the middle of a heart break?

Dick: ITS NOT HEARTBREAK

Dick: I PROBABLY JUST MISUNDERSTOOD OR MISREAD THE SITUATION AETUIARKG

Dick: IM PROBABLY JUST BEING DUMB

Donna: Honey I’m gonna smack you.

Donna: But we’ll talk quietly so they don’t hear about you being in love with Wally

Dick: Donna :(

Donna: Worst case, we go out and get food in Gotham

Donna: I also have gossip to share

Dick: Can we talk about the gossip first

Donna: Nope.

Dick: Dangit :(

Wally >>>> Dick

8:49 AM

Walls: Hey!

Walls: You feeling any better?

Dick: Little bit

Dick: Sorry about that!

Walls: Nah all good

Walls: I would’ve rather’d you stay over if you weren’t feeling well, but I get wanting to get home

Dick: I went to the manor, and stayed there if that makes you feel any better

Walls: It does, especially since your apartment doesn’t exactly have a Zeta straight to it lol

Dick: Yeah lol

Walls: So what are you doin?

Dick: Eh Donna’s bugging me, and I can hear my siblings causing chaos downstairs

Walls: Lol, sounds right

Dick: What about you?

Walls: I’m just kinda chilling before I go over to Iris and Barry’s

Dick: Oh nice!

Dick: What are you all up to?

Walls: Eh just lunch

Walls: The Garricks and Bart are going too

Dick: Nice

Walls: Yeah!

Walls: I’m going to be on my best behaviour :)

Dick: You? On your best behaviour?

Walls: Maybe you should come with to keep me on my toes then :P

Wally >>>> Roy

9:01 AM

Wally: Im so stupid

Roy: What’s up?

Wally: Like so entirely stupid

Wally: Like oh my god

Roy: Wally you gonna have to specify

Wally: Okay so

Wally: Last night

Roy: Oh boy

Roy: Was it a pretty lady you tried to flirt with and failed?

Wally: Last night I hung out with Kaldur, Dick, and a group of Dick’s friends. I texted him while we were still hanging out to see if he wanted to hang out after, just the two of us, and he said yeah. So after the others left it was just the two of us

Wally: WORSE ROY

Roy: Oh

Roy: Oh no

Wally: And so there we were, walking and talking

Wally: And we kinda drifted closer

Wally: Like we were so close

Wally: Yknow like the movie cliche before the two main characters kiss

Roy: And????

Wally: And oh my god I wanted to kiss him so badly

Wally: FOR WHATEVRR REASON I HESTIATEED AND SOMEONE CAME UP TO US AND HE PULLED BACL

Roy: Ffs

Wally: THen today

Roy: Oh my god what else could’ve happened

Wally: We were texting

Wally: And I told him about lunch with my family and stuff

Wally: And I invited him by saying maybe he should come to keep me on my toes/best behaviour

Wally: LIKE I AM SO DUMB

Roy: Holy fuck dude

Roy: Your an idiot

Wally: I KNNWO

Wally: Sobbing

Wally: I SO BARELY HESITATE AND THE ONE TIME I DO

Roy: Dude you should just go for it

Roy: Like tell him

Wally: But im a flirt :(

Roy: I stg

Roy: That's an aspect he likes about you

Roy: Like literally

Wally: No :(

Roy: I will lock you two in a closet

Wally: I will probably cry.

Roy: It might just be worth it

Wally >>>> Dick

9:21 AM

Dick: Well if Iris will have me lol

Walls: I’m sure she would be ecstatic to have you there

Walls: Bart would be upset if he found out she denied you lol

Dick: Smh that would be brave of him

Dick: Iris can be scary lol

Walls: She really can be!

Walls: She said yes :D

Dick: Nice

Walls: I can come pick you up at 10:30?

Dick: Sounds perfect!

Dick: Now you have to be on your best behaviour

Walls: Hey you enable my bad behaviour sometimes!

Dick: Sometimes

Walls: Shush

Dick: Alright, I’ll see you then!

Dick: Gotta go try and stop Damian from trying to fight Donna

Walls: Fifty bucks on Donna

Dick: I'm not taking a losing bet Mr. West

Walls: LOL

Chapter Text

CHAO$ IN A BOX

3:47 PM

Auntie H: OKAY NOW THE CHAT NAME IS JUST BEING MEAN

Auntie H: Can anyone change it? I tried but it didn’t work

Questioner: Yeah it’s not working for me either

Questioner: I even tried to hack it

Questioner: I think it might be glitched

Emo Arrow: Or it’s magic

Sharky: Uh oh.

Cheez-it: What magic user would be so petty as to only mess with a group chat name?

Ice Cold: So many of them.

Field Boy: Yeah I was gonna say

Crocpot: It could also be Gotham bs

Field Boy: Yep because Gotham is just Like That ™

Zamboni: Makes sense

X: It really does

Birdy: Losing my mind

X: Uh oh

Birdy: WRONG CHAT SORRY

Auntie H: NO YOU GOTTA EXPLAIN NOW

Birdy: No :(

Auntie H: Who do I need to kill

Birdy: ?????

Auntie H: The frowny face

Birdy: No! It’s just something

X: Kid you gotta explain now

Birdy: Well I had lunch with a friends family

Birdy: And it was nice

Mindful: Was it Fumble King

Birdy: Literally leave me alone

Worse Mirror Man: IT WAS

X: So what happened? You gotta tell us now

Birdy: Nothing! It was a nice lunch!

X: Then why were you losing your mind?

Birdy: Lukas. Watch yourself.

X: OKAY DAMN

Worse Mirror Man: Did he just real name the Red X

X: Yep he did

Worse Mirror Man: So we should all fear for our lives

Worse Mirror Man: Anyway how did it go

Birdy: I JUST SAID IT WAS NICE LUNCH

Worse Mirror Man: OKAY THEN

Birdy: LITERALLY GO DIE

Worse Mirror Man: WHOA NOW BITCH

Birdy: FUCK YOU

Worse Mirror Man: When ;)

Birdy: …

Birdy: You should try to lock your fucking windows

Worse Mirror Man: Try…?

Birdy: Because I know how to break into places.

Worse Mirror Man: Well shit.

First Murder Victim: RIP McCulloch

X: Lmao

Worse Mirror Man: How about instead of murder, friends with benefits.

Birdy: I gate you

Worse Mirror Man: gate

Wheel Runner: Gate

First Murder Victim: …gate

Birdy: FUCK ALL OF YOU

Birdy: I HOPE THE HEROES YOU FIGHT KILL YOU

Wheel Runner: LMAO