Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Xisuma hums to himself, sitting comfortably on an happy ghast. The server had loads of them now after all the shenanigans. The update was surprisingly going smoothly. Normally Xisuma would be fighting tooth and nails to get these bugs to not destroy the server.

The wind today was particularly strong. Xisuma had to hold on tight to his stuff or they would fly away. This wasn't exactly a normal thing to do but it was working. The wind blew through his long brown hair. Reminding him on how long it was. It was normally shorter than this. When was the last time he had taken the helmet off? The heavy helmet he would normally wear set aside next his laptop.

It helped him breath, as the overworld air was too thick for his lungs unlike the thin end air. But he could survive comfortable for a couple hours in overworld air. Most hermits didn't really know any of this. And he would like to keep it that way.

There was one bug Xisuma was working on, ignoring the ache in his bones and the weakness in his muscles. He sits there and works. Typing on laptop, normally he would have panels out…But the thought of staring at a panel exhausted him even more then he is now. Reminds him of too many things that he would rather not remember.

The lines of codes blur together. Xisuma started to feel sick looking down. His head pounded and he was dizzy. His stomach churred. He shook his head and let out a sigh. What was going on. The thought of looking back down made him feel like puking. So he looks up at the sky.

Big puffy clouds greet him. They surrounded the sky, encasing it in a big hug. The sun shines through, warming his skin. When was the last time he had his armor off? He wasn't sure. He could hear the flapping of wings from birds who were flying by. He missed this, it had been a while since he was outside. Keralis would always scold him to get out more. And here he was. He was pretty sure this wasn't what Keralis meant by go outside more.

But Keralis didn't know he was doing this.

All he knew was that he was outside.

Sit on a happy ghast and work. That was what he was doing. Work. Work to protect the hermits like any good admin would.

The happy ghast he sat on slowly drifted in an unknown location. Although he was pretty sure they were heading towards the gaming district. So it really wasn't unknown.

Then why call it unknown?

He sighs trying to go back to work, looking back down at the laptop. Or well tried. he was hit with a dizzy spell when he looked down.

The whole world spun in circles around him. He groans, slumping. What was going on? Had he gotten himself sick? The happy ghast chirps when the wind picks up a bit. He sighs at the thought. Him sick? Not a good thing.

Never a good thing.

The wind blows everything, his hair and somehow his laptop? How was that possible. He blinks in confusion. And then acts quick, shooting a hand out to grab his laptop. This wind must be strong. Too strong. There's confusion written all over his face.

Another groan escapes his mouth as he sprawls out on the happy ghast laying down and clutching the laptop that was surprisingly heavy like it was a child to his chest. It was a rather pleasant day if you didn't mind the strong wind. He blinks. Lost in thought.

"X? There you are." The familiar voice of Cleo rings through the air. The sound of a rocket firing and then the soft sound of her landing on top of the happy ghast. A graceful landing next to him. Careful not to step on his hair.

"Cleo..?" Xisuma shakes his head trying to regain thought but that's hard with the pounding headache of a monster. "Something wrong?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

Cleo is quick to reply with a shake of her head. "No, everything is fine." Which fills Xisuma with relief. "Well as fine as your clone getting back on the server." Which quickly faded after Cleo said that.

It makes Xisuma pause, wide eyed. "What..? How-how did he get back on the server? I-I banned him…or at least I thought I did.. " He trails off staring down but the dizziness from that made him look back up.

"I'm not sure. But he's in spawn, he seems… rather peaceful." Cleo continues to explain. "Don't worry about it too much X," They give A dismissive gesture of her hand. "Joe and Doc are there and plus you're on a break which you shouldn't have your laptop for." She puts her hands on their hips, staring straight at the laptop.

"Oh.. Uh…" Xisuma looks away in embarrassment. He could feel his face going red. "Laptop? What laptop?"

"The one in your hands X. Give it over. You're on a break." Cleo demands. Hesitantly Xisuma gives over the laptop with a sigh. "Don't worry X. The others are working. You need a break once and a while." And with that the sound of rockets firing fills the air once more. A huge gust of wind and then Cleo was gone.

Xisuma goes back to laying on the happy ghast, upset that his work has been stolen. He hoped that she didn't drop his laptop. He didn't need another broken laptop after last time.

Pesky bird jumped through the window and landed right on his laptop. Safe to say that the laptop wasn't going to work anymore. Was the admin counsel angry? Angry was an understatement. More like going to kill someone. Rage. That Xisuma didn't want to deal with although they never were pleased with Xisuma from the start of being an admin.

But something else was plaguing his mind. Ex was on the server…. How? Xisuma had banned him, after season 8 of Hermitcraft.

Xisuma's comm dings, filling the silence. He looks up and then at it. Confused. Something wrong? Did Ex do something-Why, why did he jump straight to that? He sighs and taps the comm.

ZombieCleo: X is on break kinda

FalseSymmetry: ?

ZombieCleo: he's on a happy ghast floating around

ZombieCleo: oh and X I know your reading this. Don't make me come for your comm too.

Oh.

With that Xisuma turns off his comm. Ignoring the other dings in favor of keeping his comm.

"I should get home…" Xisuma mumbles after a moment. Patting the happy ghast which in response they makes a little chirp. "Come on buddy." Xisuma pauses as he looks up from the happy ghast. "Where… Where are you taking me..?"

This.. Xisuma wasn't sure he knew where he was. Lost… the mountains seemed unfamiliar. The huge lakes he had never saw before and he knew the map of the server really well.

He had flew around it and made a huge map of it. Of course he knew the layout plus he was the admin. "Where are we?" He glances around, hoping for any sign of where he was

Turning back his comm on. He saw.. No one online. Wasn't Cleo online like a second ago and False? And he thought he saw Doc and Joe online too.

Where was everyone?

Then his comm dings.

"Thank the void…" he mumbles once he hears the ding, The tension of in his shoulders softens. His whole body slumps.

Rendog: Hey Xisuma? You wanna come over here?

Xisuma quickly types out an answer and sends it.

Error.

"Huh..?"

He tries again.

Error.

Why couldn't he reply?

Was his comm broken?

He couldn't use chat…

Rendog: X?

Rendog: Does anyone know where Xisuma is?

And he tries again.

Grian: Last I heard was he was resting on a happy ghast from Cleo but that was an hour ago? I think?

"An hour ago? No no that was like five minutes ago?" Xisuma frantically says, trying to conivce himself that this was all just a mistake.

So he tries again.

Rendog: Strange

And Again

Zombiecleo: Found him on a happy ghast. He should have his comm

And

False symmetry: You didn't steal it?

Again

Zombiecleo: Nope

Error

Rendog: Joe? Can you find him?

Error

Joehill: Sorry yes I can

Error

Rendog: thanks I wanted to ask him something

Rendog: I worry for him

Falsesymmtry: We all do, I should get Keralis to force him to go to bed again

Joehills: No sign of him

Rendog: Nothing?

Joehills: No..I'm going call a meeting

And again…

Error

Error

Error

Error

Error

The bright red frustrated him. He pulled at his hair, in annoyance. Tears begging to be spilled from his eyes, he sniffles. "Why.. why isn't this working..?" He mumbles. Rubbing the tears away from his eyes.

He sighs.

Think Xisuma.

Don't get distracted.

He pulls up his code. Wondering if there was any glitches, perhaps he had gotten a bug and it was causing him to have chat problems. Yeah.. That was it, with that he starts searching through his own code.

His code isn't that interesting standard code.. For a voidwalker. Xisuma slumps at the thought. Voidwalker. Something not…Human.

Although was anyone on hermitcraft human?

Why hide?

Evil Xisuma: Where's the derp?

Xisuma pauses when he sees Ex in chat. Right.. Hadn't Cleo said something about him..he had gotten on. Right. "Is this bug giving me memory issues too?" It's easier to blame the bug for all of his problems and just focus on that. He bits his lip, grimacing at the pain it caused him.

Rendog: We aren't sure

Seeing or well seeing Ex's name in chat. Reminds him that he longs to see Ex. It makes Xisuma's heartache. How could he ban his own well clone.. glitch..? Ex was him and he was Ex. Evil Xisuma…Was he really that evil? Xisuma wasn't sure. He was Xisuma's own broken code. Hating him was like hating himself.

Did Xisuma hate himself?

He isn't sure.

Ex had just appeared one day, and that same day a gap of code was in Xisuma's code, he blinks as he stares at that very same gap that was Ex. Xisuma remembered the fear coursing through his veins when he first saw Ex. Like his own shadow. A shadow that followed him and asked questions. Like a little one who had no idea what was going on.

Like a little brother.

But Ex wasn't his little brother?

He was a glitch…

Xisuma didn't remember anything before hermitcraft. Strange wasn't it? He sighs, and slumps.

There was nothing in his code showing what was going on.

No glitch.

No red lines.

He's an admin.

A useless one.

Can't even find your own bug?

"Wh-what was that?" Xisuma stumbles backwards, pushing himself with his hands. The happy ghast chirps in respone. A confused sound coming from their mouth. "I'm not sure either buddy." Xisuma shakes his head. Why was he talking to a happy ghast? He's pretty sure they don't understand him. He blinks, glancing everywhere. Anywhere to figure out where that voice had came from.

And then he gags. A painful coughing noise comes from him. "Oh…my days.." and another one. He looks down at his hands. "Oh.." blood covered his hands. Not very much but there was some. "Land. Land please." He pleads, his voice hoarse and throat aching.

What was going on?

The happy ghast obeys slowing down and drifting towards the ground. Maybe they could understand Xisuma…he wobbles off of the happy ghast. His mind swirling with thoughts and emotions that he just couldn't understand.

Why?

He wasn't sure.

Just as he wast sure where he was.

The happy ghast had landed on the side of a small hill in a huge forrest that went on for chunks and chunks.. and chunks.

The place didn't look familiar to Xisuma at all. Perhaps he had traveled too far? After a moment the happy ghast chirps and starts to float back up. "Wait!" Xisuma calls to them, "Come back," but his pleads are unanswered as the happy ghast floats away and away.

Now he was truly alone.

Lost and alone.

Two good things to go with each other. He sighs and sits down.

And starts to sob.

Hot tears spill down his cheeks. It stains his gray shirt. As it gets harder and harder to breath. He could feel his throat throat tightening not use to the thick air of the overworld.

The world spins around him, feeling like it was closing in to him. That the world was slowly getting smaller and smaller and smaller. His breathing gets shallower and quicker as he chokes on his own sobs. Burying his face into his knees.

Why.

Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why?

Why couldn't he be a good admin

No admin got lost like this right?

No admin was this useless.

Why. How. What.. was going on? He blinks and sniffles. Taking a deep breath and regretting it as he chokes once more. Hard painful sounding coughs that kept the same result of blood. Too much blood.

"Where am I..?" He glances around, rubbing his eyes with is free hand, the other one wrapped around his knees which seemed to be a mistake, He rubbed his hand on his pants, the blood staining it. That would be fun to clean.

If he ever got home.

He could feel the tears welling back up, begging to be freed from their spot. To stain even more of his clothes.

Why fight it?

"What..?"

Why care anymore?

His comm pings once more. Did the hermits notice? Did the hermits care.

They cared.

They cared.

Right?

Docm77: no sign of him? I need to ask X about the glitch that seems to be showing up

Just a glitch.

Evil Xisuma: Nothing? Where did that derp go?

A cold breathless laugh comes from Xisuma, how could he laugh at this time? He wasn't sure.

They didn't care.

They didn't care.

What a useless admin.

Right?

If he could go back.

He would.

Get rid of every mistake he ever made.

Make sure his glitch-no no he wasn't a glitch. His brother? That felt like a better word. Yeah his brother wasn't banned. "I'm sorry.." He chokes out, "So sorry," years of silent pain catch up on him. He knew this day would come.

Xisuma curls further into his knees, dropping his comm and ignoring it. He wheezes trying to catch his breathe but that all disappears as darkness takes him into its hold.

"Shashwammy?"

Chapter Text

If Keralis could of rated this day a number out of ten. Then he would of called it a ten out of 10.

Well that was what past Keralis would of rated it. In the morning the day was going well. Keralis had woken up, and gently scolded his dear Shashwammy about self care. Finding him slumped on his desk was never something he liked to find. It always brought a frown to his face.

And somehow even to Keralis's surprise he had gotten Xisuma to listen. Xisuma had said yes to taking a break for once. Keralis had smiled in glee when Xisuma had agreed.

Xisuma would take a break away from admin things. A moment for himself.

At least.

That was what Keralis had believed.

"Hey Keralis?" Keralis looked up towards the sound of his name, a confused look on his face. He gently sets the item he was holding onto the floor.

"Yes sweetface?" He says as he turns to see who was talking to him. "Ah-Cleo! Hi there!"

Cleo smiles in response, although they looked tense. Their whole posture looked awake and aware like something was out to get them. Maybe there was. Keralis was never knew what was going on, on the server. Maybe they were playing a game of tag? That sounded fun. "Something up?" Keralis asks, raising an eyebrow and tilting his head.

"Oh..Well," They look away from Keralis's face, swaying gently, "I found Xisuma not taking a break," Those words making Keralis pause. "He's that way," Cleo points towards the left of Keralis, where there was huge towering mountains .

Had Shashwammy lied to him? But he wasn't in his office.

Keralis made sure of it.

Even if the admin didn't know he had taken some… precautions to make sure he didn't enter his office. Xisuma wouldn't mind though. Especially if he didn't know about it.

So how was he not taking a break?

"Just check chat," Cleo says after a moment, gesturing towards his comm. "Unless you want me to explain it?" They offer.

Keralis shakes his head in response, "No its fine," He taps his comm. Curious on what Cleo was talking about. He wasn't sure.

ZombieCleo: X is on break kinda

FalseSymmetry: ?

ZombieCleo: he's on a happy ghast floating around

Oh.

ZombieCleo: oh and X I know your reading this. Don't make me come for your comm too.

Well that explained some of it, Keralis sighs, shaking his head and letting his shoulders slump. "Of course silly Shashwammy is doing that, I should of taken his comm as well," Cleo lets out a laugh, nodding in agreement.

"Was planning on doing that but I didn't want to leave him not able to communicate with us,"

"Ah-fair," Keralis agrees. "I'll go bother him, you last saw him that way right?" He gestures towards the direction Cleo had said a bit ago. Cleo nods, smiling. "I'll be back! Don't worry your pretty face, I'll get his tush away from a screen," With that Keralis rockets off. Heading towards the direction that Cleo had sent him.

Thoughts.

They swarmed Keralis's head. Confusion, worry, maybe a hint of anger? He wasn't sure. He sighs again, sucking a breathe of air in and then gently exhaling it. The air up in the sky always felt weird to breath in.

Like it was… Keralis wasn't sure how to describe it. And when he tried to describe it to the other hermits they always gave him a confused look. He was sure they weren't trying to be mean. He supposes it could be because of That.

Ping.

He blinks, registering the sound of comm pinging. It was probably just someone speaking in the world chat but his curiosity over takes him and he looks down at his comm. This wasn't safe, the words screamed in his head. But another part of him was What if this was something important. That side won and he kept looking down.

Rendog: Hey Xisuma? You wanna come over here?

Hm. Nothing much. Just Ren. With a sigh Keralis looks up again, it was fine.

Xisumavoid: I'm here, where are you guys?

Xisumavoid: Why isn't it going through?

Xisumavoid: Help

He looks back down at that message, eyes wide. Xisuma was hurt? Xisuma needed help.

Xisumavoid: Help, help, help, I'm lost

Rendog: X?

Rendog: Does anyone know where Xisuma is?

Keralis was about to type out a response that he's going towards or well he hoped he was Xisuma right now. When a loud piecing crack filled the air.

Oh no.

One moment. Keralis was flying in the air, free. The wind blowing through his hair and the next second? He was plummeting from the sky, hitting tree branches on his way down.

Keralis groans as he hits the forest floor, a bed of flowers softening his fall. He's hands were scrapped up and his hair was covered in leaves. "What just happened…?" He mumbles. He's comm pings. He frowns at the condition of it.

All scraped up like his body was.

Although Keralis was always scrapped up and covered in scar. Luckily it still worked.

Grian: Last I heard was he was resting on a happy ghast from Cleo but that was an hour ago? I think?

Did.

Did they not see Xisuma's frantic messages?

Rendog: Strange

Xisumavoid: Help

Zombiecleo: Found him on a happy ghast. He should have his comm

Xisumavoid: Help

They didn't.

They didn't see what Keralis was seeing.

False symmetry: You didn't steal it?

Xisumavoid: Help

ZombieCleo: Nope

This looked really weird.. It looked like Cleo was saying no to Xisuma's pleas for help. Which was untrue. He was really sure now that they couldn't see Xisuma's messages.

Maybe he comm was broken.

Xisumavoid: Help

Rendog: thanks I wanted to ask him something

Rendog: I worry for him

FalseSymmtry: We all do, I should get Keralis to force him to go to bed again

Did Cleo now tell them he was going to Xisuma?

Xisumavoid: Help

Joehills: No sign of him

Rendog: Nothing?

Joehills: No..I'm going call a meeting

Xisumavoid: Help

Xisumavoid: Help

Xisumavoid: Help

Xisumavoid: Help

What was going on?

Was running through Keralis's head. So he decided to voice it-or well text it in chat.

Keralis: Whats going on?

Joehills: Keralis! You were going to see Xisuma right?

Keralis: Yes

Joehills: Do you know where he is?

Keralis: No he needs help though

Joehills: are you coming to the meeting?

Did Joe not see that he need help? Could no one see his messages? Strange…

Keralis: I can't Im not sure where I am. My elytra broke.

Keralis grimaces at the broken elytra strapped to his back, it had holes in it everywhere. It was in no condition to use.

Joehills: I have a tracker to your location, im sending Tango and Wels to you.

Joehills: Stay where you are

And that was the last thing he heard from Joe. Keralis still saw the helps from Xisuma. Every message pulled on Keralis's heart strings. He needed to find Xisuma, he just wasn't sure where he was. Keralis sighs, slumping down. Laying back down onto his back.

The soft grass tickling his back. He inhales, the smell of sweet flowers fills his nose before he gently exhales. Everything was fine.

Everything was perfectly fine.

Well…

That was untrue and Keralis knew that.

Yet he lied to himself.

Why?

Why lie to himself?

He groans, his back aching in complaint from the fall, Every part of himself hurt. He sits back up, and regrets it. It hurt worse sitting up. He sighs again, taking another deep breath, trying to smooth his nerves and calm them. That was easier said then done. He's heart raced, beating loudly in his ears.

Then he pauses, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

What was that noise?

He blinks, then it dawned on him.

Sobbing.

The noise was sobbing.

Someone was crying somewhere in this forest. It could be-no. But it could be. Even if it wasn't, Keralis wanted to help. With another groan, he pushes himself up. Standing up on his own two feet, using one hand to prompt himself up on a tree. And his freehand to glance back at his comm.

Joehills: Stay where you are

Joe had said stay.

But how could Keralis ignore the noise of someone sobbing? Especially if-With a sigh he takes of his comm and places it next to the tree he was standing by.

Why?

What had possessed him to do this.

He wasn't sure.

With that he starts walking, he's walk is slow and pained. Pushing past bushes and groaning once and a while when one of his legs would get angry at him.

Its a long walk.

He wasn't even sure where he was going.

Or how far of a long it was going to be, But it was a long one, he could just tell. With a sigh, he pushes a particularly big and spiking branch out of his face, groaning when one of the spikes catches on his pants.

He was not wearing the right clothes to walk around a dense and spiky forest but here he was. He pushes more bushes, groaning at the one that smacked him in the eyes. Silly bushes. The forest was dense, he wasn't sure there was a forest this dense anywhere on the map.

What was that? He glances towards the sky, gasping. That was a happy ghast. Probably the one Xisuma was riding. He smiles, he had found Xisuma!

That smile however quickly fades. Xisuma wasn't in the happy ghast. There was no sign of him expect a small backpack still sitting on the happy ghast. Keralis sighs, even if Xisuma wasn't riding the happy ghast it meant that Xisuma was around here.

Follow that happy ghast.

So he does, he chases after them, running and trying not to trip, which he had failed to do. He trips a couple times but he gets back up and keeps going. With a sigh he pushes another branch.

And then.

He pauses, his eyes wide. There was something-someone curled up into a ball, the sound of sobbing coming from them.

It takes a moment for Keralis to recolonize who it was.

"Shashwammy?"

Xisuma was curled into a ball, he's knees up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. He was letting out choked sobs. His comm was cracked and on the floor. It looked almost into pieces. "Shashwammy!" Keralis yells again, running towards Xisuma and getting onto his hands.

Xisuma responses with a sob, curling towards Keralis for comfort, "Shashwammy, what happened?" Another sob as a response. "Please? Shashwammy can you hear me?" Xisuma doesn't response, just crying on his shoulder. He's breathing uneven, he looked like he was choking from his tears. Keralis sighs and starts to rock the two, trying to calm the crying admin.

Choked sobs turn into sniffles after a moment, his breathing slowly evening out. "Xisuma?" Keralis says softly again, Xisuma doesn't say anything, just slumps against Keralis. Unconscious.

Keralis wished he had remembered where he had came from. He wasn't sure.

He should have brought his comm. He looks down towards Xisuma's comm. Maybe he could get that to work? He gently moves Xisuma, to free one of his hands and grabs the comm. Its shattered, the glass cracked, pieces of it crumbling off as Keralis picks it up. He frowns. Not sure what to do.

Xisuma was out.

Keralis wasn't sure when he was going to wake up but he hoped soon. The poor admin looked exhausted. he glances around, he could make a small shelter real quick. Out of some dirt and sticks. There was lots of wood around, but he didn't want to leave Xisuma alone. He sighs again, wishing he didn't leave his comm at that tree.

Xisuma's comm was basically unusable. He frowns not sure what to do. This was bad not good at all. With another sigh he glances up, he's eyes go wide.

Did he say bad?

He meant worse.

The sky was dark, clouds covering every inch of it. Big and angry clouds. Meaning one and one thing only. It would rain soon. It starts with small droplets. One hits his noise, he gently covers Xisuma. Worried for the admin.

Then when all hope is lost "Keralis!" Someone yells-Keralis was pretty sure it was Wels.

"Keralis!" Another person yells, that was Tango.

"Over here!" Keralis yells back, hoping they heard him. He hoped to whoever was out there that the two hermits would find them. There is loud footsteps running towards them.

"Keralis there you are!" The voice stops speaking after a moment, before they exclaim "Xisuma?”