Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Papyrus’s mind had been abnormally quiet that afternoon.

Normally his thoughts came in a stream, coherent and steady yet slightly overwhelming. Before, he might have welcomed a break, possibly even a cue to nap. Now… it felt like a void, a missing piece of a puzzle. All he could hear was an untraceable buzz filling every crevice of his mind.

It’d been annoying when it first crept in. He’d just wanted to play his game, and then he felt like shutting it off to do nothing. Then it had fully taken him, and he’d kicked back and relaxed. Nothing bothered him anymore.

He stood up on a sudden impulse and grabbed his jacket off the nearby hanger. He picked up the blanket he’d just been laying under and draped it across his arm. He then went out to the back porch, where he spotted a certain someone.

Icy was sitting on the swing, curled in a ball and lightly shivering. He looked up as he heard the door swing open. Papyrus gave him a gentle smile and sat down beside him. He wrapped his arm around Icy and gently patted his skull with the other.

“hey, snowflake… what’re ya doin’ out here?”

Icy relaxed, a faint grin of his own crossing his face. “...j-jus’... th-thinkin’...”

“thinkin’, huh? what’s goin’ on in that little head of yours?” Papyrus gently booped Icy’s forehead.

Icy giggled softly, then sighed, leaning into Papyrus’s side. “...i-i’s jus’... d-di’n’t sleep well…”

“aw, babybones… how come? nightmares again?” When Icy nodded, Papyrus pulled him into a hug against his chest. “you know you can come find me an’ dad at any time, yeah?”

“…i-i… i know…” he mumbled. “d-di’n’ wanna be a bother…”

“a bother? never, kiddo… it’s all okay, yeah?” Icy nodded again. “we can go take your mind off of it with a little play, huh? then we can go talk to dad when he gets home.”

Icy sat up. “...p-play…?”

”yeah, y’know? snowmen, snowball fights, snow angels, the works?”

“r-really?” Icy’s head perked up.

“yeah, kid. c’mon, get up.” Papyrus gently pushed Icy off of the swing, draped the blanket around the younger’s shoulders, and knelt down in the snow. Icy followed his lead, watching as his big brother began to roll a snowball up. Papyrus couldn’t remember the last time little Icy looked so at peace, and it warmed him… though not as much as he thought it should have.

Soon, Papyrus had finished the base, and Icy was nearly done with the middle. Papyrus watched carefully and, when Icy was ready, lifted it onto the base. He then began to guide Icy’s hands to form a head.

“i-i… w-wanna lift… p-please…?”

“heh, ok. but grab it nice and firm, yeah?” Papyrus made sure Icy had a strong grip on the snowball before raising him up to place it. He watched Icy’s pupils shift into blue stars as he was set down.

“i-it’s… pretty…”

Papyrus chuckled, yet it came out more hollow than usual. “why don’tcha go find some stones for eyes, a mouth, and buttons? oh, and maybe sticks for arms.”

Icy nodded, scurrying off to follow instructions. As Papyrus supervised him, his soul felt colder than its usual blazing inferno of warmth and love, instead touched with a chill. He should have felt so proud, and yet he felt… nothing. He crossed his arms. The buzzing was back, more intense than before. He’d been perfectly fine a week ago, so what was wrong with him now?

Icy returned, snapping him out of his thoughts. He forced a smile. “just stones, huh?”

“y-yeah… ‘m-m s-sorry, papy…”

“hey, it’s alright, ice. let’s put ‘em on, huh? besides, the greatest snowmen don’t need arms.” Icy let out a soft chuckle as he passed the stones to Papyrus, and Papyrus placed them on the snowman arranged just as he’d told Icy moments ago. Icy clapped quietly, then wrapped his little arms around Papyrus’s waist. Papyrus patted him on the head, his smile faltering.

“aw, ice… you’re shiverin’. is it porch time?”

Icy gave a sleepy nod. Papyrus scooped him up and went back to the porch, sitting on the swing. The buzzing somehow became even louder now. He couldn’t focus on the little form in his arms, only on a distant point he didn’t realize existed. The fake smile had been wiped off his face now that Icy’s face was pressed into his hoodie.

“p-papy…?” Icy’s voice was muffled, yet so joyful.

Papyrus looked down. “yeah?”

“...i-i love you…”

Papyrus looked back at the distant point. “...i love you too, little bro.”

His hand had begun to rub Icy’s head. His words felt like a pure lie, though he knew they weren’t supposed to. Icy deserved better than whatever empty husk he was becoming. And yet… A part of the fuzz had dissipated, leaving one instruction clear. He found his magic manifesting a bone behind Icy’s back, sharper than he’d ever seen.

Then he swiftly grabbed it and drove it right into Icy’s soul.

Chapter Text

Icy gasped, suddenly unable to breathe. He looked up at Papyrus, who simply stared down at him. Papyrus’s expression was perfectly calm, as if it’d been a bright, cloudless summer day. He gently patted Icy’s head again.

“wh-wh- i-i- why-?” Icy gasped out.

“...You won’t have to suffer any more, little brother.”

Icy could only stare, wide-eyed and shivering. Papyrus’s mind and tone were blank like a fresh sheet of paper. He rubbed Icy’s cheek with his thumb, gazing into the gentle eyes of his brother before they closed, and Icy relaxed into his brother’s chest.

And suddenly Icy was nothing but dust on the wind and a hovering soul, leaving his scarf ownerless on Papyrus’s lap.

Papyrus was tempted to rub the dust off of his hoodie and shorts but decided against it. He held Icy’s soul in one hand and his scarf in the other. Icy’s soul was dimmer than the only other time he’d seen it, when it was almost frozen. He went inside with Icy’s things, leaving some dust on the swing and the ground.

He laid Icy’s scarf across the arm of the couch. It was grey-tinged now, and a few bits of dust fell on the couch. Their couch would be the least of his father’s worries now. He made his way to the basement, his steps slow and echoing in the hallway.

He found one of Gaster’s old soul containers and opened the lid. He blew the collected spider webs out of it, then gently placed little Icy’s soul inside it. It pulsed faintly with a soft purple light before settling in a quiet white glow. Papyrus placed the lid back on and watched the beating for a few moments. Perseverance… made so much sense.

He slid his hoodie off and draped it around the bottom of the container, then patted the top of it. He exited the basement without looking back. And then he realized the buzzing was gone, leaving behind only the sounds of the wind.

He left the house despite the cold, mostly heading for nothing in particular. He felt more at peace now that there wasn’t an annoying buzz everywhere, but his chest still felt hollow. Something was missing, and he couldn’t figure out what, how, or why.

After a while of walking and being completely zoned out, he came across the large purple door at the end of the forest. He’d seen it many times before, heard the voice beyond, yet he hadn’t felt so numb to the memories of it he usually held. He stepped up to it, hesitated, then knocked anyway.

“Hello, Papyrus.” The voice came as a gentle rumble, tinted with joy. “You arrived on time for once, heh…”

“...Hello.”

“...Erm… Papyrus? You sound… different. Is something wrong?”

“No, no… Nothing’s wrong.”

“...Alright… Well… why don’t you settle in for a while? I found an old joke book among some old belongings…”

“Hmm…” Papyrus felt a subtle nudge tug at his soul. “Maybe we should make this conversation a little more… face-to-face.”

Papyrus summoned two bones, as sharp as the one from before. He positioned them into the crack of the door, took a deep breath, and pried. The last time he’d tried, it hadn’t budged an inch. This time, however… The crack widened with a soft creak.

And after a few tries, the door slowly pulled open. Papyrus suddenly found himself staring down at…

Asgore.

“O-oh my… I thought we’d tried this already…? I-if I wasn’t so shocked that the door opened, it’d be wonderful to see your face for the first time…” Asgore stood up, smiling down at Papyrus. He towered over Papyrus, even though Papyrus was already pretty tall.

“Hello… King Asgore.”

Asgore sighed, his smile falling. “I suppose I expected that… I hope you do not hold that past against me, if you’d like to… come in for tea?”

Papyrus plastered a smile onto his face. “That would be… lovely…”

Asgore motioned for him to follow and began to lead him down the long hallway. It was quiet now that the sound of the wind was muffled, and he realized the buzzing had come back. He made his footsteps deliberately aggressive in an attempt to block some of it out. Asgore looked mildly concerned but decided not to say anything.

They went up a set of stairs, leading them into a… home. It felt… or should have felt… warm and cozy, especially compared to the desolate hallway they’d emerged from. It also felt well-lived in, like Asgore had been there longer than Papyrus had even been alive.

“Well… Make yourself at home, my boy.”

Papyrus sat down on the edge of a chair, clasping his hands together on the table. Asgore proceeded to the kitchen, then began to speak. “Admittedly, I did not expect to see you in person… But it is a welcome change. Although I thought you mentioned a hoodie…?”

“My brother has it.” Papyrus’s tone was flat.

“Ah… How is little Icy doing?”

“He’s… fine.”

Papyrus looked over at Asgore. His back was turned, and he was humming a gentle tune. Just as he’d felt with Icy, the buzzing receded. His mind blanked of all but one instruction.

Strike now or strike never.

He stood up. He summoned a blaster. The direction was instantly crystal clear, and a manic smile crossed his mouth. He fired it, straight to Asgore.

Asgore turned slowly after it had finished. His expression was filled with intense pain and shock. “You… I… we were friends, Papyrus…”

“You have to understand, Asgore, that this isn’t personal. Never was. Simply a matter of… instruction. Fun while it lasted… Goodbye.”

Asgore was wordless for a few moments before his eyes closed. He sighed, falling to his knees. Then he, too, was nothing more than a pile of dust. His soul broke in half, then shattered into nothing.

Chapter Text

Some time later…

He’d left the Ruins as the daylight began its slow return in the early morning. He’d figured out that it was no longer a place to satiate his desires; after Asgore had gone, the monsters inside the Ruins had hid. But no one beyond knew… No panic yet. So he’d left.

He’d walked as far as his legs had let him, which dropped him somewhere between his brother’s puzzles— he smirked at the thought— and Snowdin Town. He’d flopped down into the snow, just lying back and staring up at the ceiling. He felt comfortable here, despite the snow melting into his clothes and soaking him… to the bone. Heh… puns.

“...h-heh… n-nice one, p-papy…”

Papyrus sat up so suddenly he almost became dizzy. He glanced around before his eyes landed on a figure before him. The figure was ethereal, misty yet so clear in form. He was smiling softly as he looked down at his big brother.

“S-Sans-?!” Papyrus choked out.

“h-hi, bro…”

“What- how are you here?! You’re dead.”

“...i-i dunno… i don’t th-think i’m a-alive…? maybe i’m a ghost…”

Papyrus slowly stuck his hand out to touch him. His hand phased through, and he dropped his arm with a sigh. They stared at each other for a few moments before Icy moved closer to his brother and sat down in his lap.

He felt cold, but in a refreshing way, like a cool breeze on a hot summer day. Papyrus made no attempt to move. He sighed, staring into his brother’s wonderful little eyes.

“...d-d’you feel bad…?”

“H-how- how did-”

“...i-i can just… like… hear your thoughts, or something…”

Papyrus shot a shield up around his thought. Icy winced, and his form flickered. Papyrus’s eyes widened, and he relaxed, putting Icy the same way he was before.

“...p-papy…”

“Yeah?”

“...y-your eyes… a-are kinda red…”

“R-red? Really?” Icy nodded. “Oh…”

There was silence between them, a mix of loving and uncomfortable, until Icy spoke again. “...i-i think you’re great, papy…”

“...Thanks, Sans. You’re great too.”

Icy gave his brother a little smile before he faded into nothing again. Papyrus watched the spot his brother had just been before lying back in the snow. He was tired after the long night. He closed his eyes and fell into sleep.

Chapter Text

Papyrus awoke with a start, his face flushed and his body trembling lightly. He felt hot and achy, and when he pushed himself up his arms felt weak. He wiped the sweat off of his forehead with the back of his hand. He stood up slowly, dusting the snow off his shoulders and shorts. He shivered lightly.

Had that all been a fever dream? It didn’t feel real, and yet surely it had been. He could go home, and little Icy and their dad would be waiting for him… Icy would surely cry, and that would break his heart…

He sighed, his shoulders slumping. It definitely had been real; he’d felt the coolness of Icy’s touch and… felt the soul in his hands. The buzzing came back with this realization, fueled by his feverish stupor. It was still hard to believe Icy had come… He stuck his hand in front of his face, and a faint red glow was cast onto it.

After a few moments of standing there, it finally dawned on him that he wasn’t getting any better standing there. He couldn’t go home, couldn’t face his actions. So maybe it would be best to just go somewhere else… Alphys was close, wasn’t she?

Beginning to trudge towards Waterfall was the biggest effort he made. His shoulders were slumped, and his feet dragged in the snow. At least he knew how to get around the Snowdin Town citizens without too much trouble. Though… it wouldn’t be so bad to deal with them. He grinned.

Suddenly his foot hit rock, and he paused. The sound of rushing water filled his ears, once soothing but now more annoying. Again he laid, this time on a bridge across the river. Alphys would definitely be patrolling this time of day… All the more reason to attain some quiet.

After a few moments, Papyrus’s eyes were growing heavy as he heard footsteps. Speak of the devil… He sat up, his head turning in the direction of the footsteps.

“Hey! You! What are you doing out here-” Alphys stopped just before the bridge Papyrus was laying on. “Oh. Papyrus. What, uh, are you doing out here?”

“I’m just… chilling.”

“In the middle of Waterfall…? Maybe you need to go ho-”

“No! It’s fine!”

“…Alright… We could, um, go to my house?”

Papyrus nodded and got up with her help. She began to lead him to her house, and although he knew the way and had been there a thousand times, he followed anyway. He stumbled slightly as he walked and kept his head down. Something burned inside his mind, and he couldn’t tell if he liked it or wanted it to stop.

“Hey, Paps… you alright? You don’t look too good, and your eyes are… red.”

“I’m fine.”

Alphys nodded, though she looked concerned. They walked on in silence for a while until they reached her house. She led him in and gently pushed him to sit down onto her couch. She then disappeared and then, as Papyrus waited, returned with clothes for him. “You’re soaked, Papyrus. And don’t you try to deny it. It’s obvious. So go get changed. I found these that you left behind a while ago.”

Papyrus decided that fighting wouldn’t be worth it, not yet anyway, and took the clothes. He went into one of her side rooms and began to change. Emotionlessness fell over him once more as he looked at himself in the mirror. He looked more serious now, as the clothes he’d left behind felt a little nicer.

He stepped out, holding his previous clothes with his scarf laid on top. He set them to the side as Alphys looked over at him. As he met her eyes, a coldness gripped his heart that flooded in with the pure silence. He didn’t mind the cold if it brought silence.

“You look… professional. Never thought I’d see you that way,” she said after a brief pause.

“Mm.”

They again stood awkwardly. His mind was finally quiet… though it felt like the quiet of a tundra, not a peaceful break. He felt like he was standing in a snowstorm yet no shivers came to him. Memories bubbled up of little Icy. Frozen and alone…

And suddenly he lunged at Alphys, bone in hand.

She caught his wrist and struggled to hold him back as he fought to get her. He snarled, using his other hand to try and pry his arm free. His mind felt cloudy, refusing to let him think logically like he usually did.

“What are you doing?! We can- talk about this-!” Alphys exclaimed as she kept trying to hold him back. She reached out for his other arm to hold him back. He swiftly moved his arm, and her hand swiped at his face, leaving behind a deep, bleeding scratch.

“What did you DO?!” Papyrus screamed, fighting back with extreme fury. Alphys could see the red in his eyes burning with pure wrath.

And suddenly she was shoved to the ground, and his shoe was against her chest. He was grinning with a deranged look. He held a bone up, aimed at her.

“Any last words?”

“I… I…” She choked on her words. “You… won’t get away with this… They’ll… They’ll evacuate, and you’ll… It’ll be over for you…”

Papyrus rolled his eyes. He pressed his foot down as hard as he could. A sickening crunch was heard as her ribs cracked. The air was sucked out of her lungs as she gasped.

“Thanks for taking care of my brother all those times… Goodbye.”

He removed his foot and sent the bone down into her chest. She held on for a few moments, staring at him with disbelief, before she faded into dust.

Chapter Text

GASTER’S POV

By the time Gaster had realized he’d fallen asleep it had been way too late. He was slumped over his desk, with his glasses aside and his head resting on his arms. He’d once again stayed over all night, which he later realized wasn’t exactly the smartest idea.

He sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He grabbed the half-empty coffee cup and sipped from it. It had long gone cold, but he didn’t care anymore. He was running on fumes, and at this point anything would help. He picked his glasses up, put them on his face, and glanced down at the paper he’d just been sleeping on. The words blurred together.

With a sigh he stood up, accidentally knocking a few papers off in his haste. He smoothed down his clothes to make himself look less like a sleepy mess and more like a proper Royal Scientist. He checked his watch; it was quiet for an afternoon on the job.

He was about to exit his office when his hand paused on the doorknob. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he pulled it out to look at it. It was a simple text from Undyne, the shortest he’d probably ever seen from her.

EMERGENCY GET DOWN HERE NOW

It startled him so much he almost dropped his phone. He shoved it back into his pocket and burst out of the room, then began to run down the hallway to Undyne’s office. Too many thoughts flooded into his mind, and all he could focus on was how he could practically feel how worried Undyne was.

He swung the door open to her office and darted over to her. “Wh-what’s wrong-?! I came as soon as I could, and-”

His words were cut short by his observations. Undyne was staring at the security camera with widened eyes, her mouth slightly parted in shock. Her fists were tightly curled on the console. There was a slight tremble in her body.

And there was Papyrus, hands and clothes dusty, with reddened eyes and a dead expression.

Gaster stumbled back in shock, a quiet gasp escaping him. He rubbed his eyes and looked back, only to see the same thing. It felt like a joke, a cruel joke that never ended up funny. His little boy… He looked so numb inside.

“He… O-outside Alphys’s h-house…” Undyne whispered.

Gaster felt a tear well up in his eye before he shoved it down. He took a deep breath, then his jaw set with a grim determination. “...We have to get to him, before any other lives are wrecked.”

Undyne nodded, and with a silent agreement passing between them, they rushed out.

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PAPYRUS’S POV - A few minutes back…

Papyrus picked up his scarf from nearby and wiped the blood off of his face that was slowly trickling into his mouth. He wrapped it around his neck once more, even though it was still damp, and looked at his reflection. Dust clung to him, coated in layers on the end of his scarf and hands. His expression felt cold. He remembered the photo his father kept where he looked so… happy.

Suddenly he reeled back, and his fist collided with the mirror.

It shattered with a violent sound and numerous shards falling around him. He shook his hand, picking the little glass pieces out. He wiped his hand off on his scarf. The reds blended almost seamlessly. Seeing the shattered pieces felt kind of relieving, in a way.

He exited the house after staring at the mess for a few moments. He closed the front door and began to walk away. Waves of warmth were slowly falling over him, though his blessed silence had disappeared. His face fell into annoyance.

He knew he was walking, but his mind wasn’t with it. He was distracted, by the noise in his head and his thoughts. He wanted to go back to sleep, curled up in his warm bed, holding Icy…

“PAPYRUS!!! PAPYRUS STOP!!!” a voice yelled off in the distance, clearly out of breath. He froze, not by the words he heard but by the voice.

He watched in curiosity as two figures sprinted toward him, his head tilted slightly. He recognized them, somewhere, and suddenly it clicked in his mind that it was his father and Undyne. They stopped a little distance away from him.

“Papyrus-” Undyne panted, putting her hands on her knees. “What- are you- doing??”

Papyrus crossed his arms. “What ever do you mean?”

Gaster stepped closer to Papyrus. Papyrus displayed no reaction. “Son… You… You didn’t…?”

“Didn’t what, Father?”

Gaster looked bewildered, yet he stepped closer, reaching a hand out to place on Papyrus’s shoulder. He met his son’s eyes, filled with sadness and a tinge of disgust at the sight of the redness. “Captain Alphys… She…”

“She’s dead.”

Gaster fell silent, searching Papyrus’s expression for any hint of remorse. He was met with a wall of cold indifference, nothing felt seeing his father or best friend. He rubbed Papyrus’s shoulder with his thumb, then cupped his cheek. “Are you… alright?”

“I’m well.”

Gaster forced himself to drop his hand, then couldn’t resist and pulled Papyrus into a hug. Papyrus didn’t reciprocate. His magic swirled up his arm and a bone manifested… He smirked. He reached out to grab–

“NO!”

Undyne grabbed it before he could. Gaster almost choked at the sudden shout and let go of Papyrus, stumbling back. Both he and Papyrus looked at her stunned, though for different reasons.

And then without thinking Undyne summoned a spear right beside Papyrus’s head. He was knocked back, even though there was no blood spilled, and his head hit the floor and everything went black.