Chapter 1: The World Does Not Revolve Around You
Chapter Text
Former Game Theory host and 50th President of the United States Matthew Patrick was having a rough day as he anxiously sat down in the Oval Office. The holographic screen located in front of his desk was showing a live feed of reporters gathering for a sudden press conference by Carol Holiday, House speaker and de facto leader of the opposition Republican party in front of the Town Hall in Hometown. Carol had been a thorn in his administration ever since the town she was mayor of swept the headlines due to some ‘delta rune taking place there just after the 2032 election that landed him this job. Carol leveraged this and the momentum of the general populace’s curiosity with these so-called Darkners to first take over the Republican party and then sweep the 2034 midterms, winning both the house and the senate and deadlocking Patrick’s vision for a better America.
As he and the reporters waited for Carol to appear, his brain involuntarily produced a traumatizing vision that had haunted him for the past three and a half years. Despite the sheer realness of the sleep paralysis session that had ignited this daily dose of trauma in his presidency, no physical evidence could be connected to the mysterious figure who had supposedly ended the life of MatPat’s old friend and 2032 Republican presidential candidate Jimmy Donaldson. Vice President Zohran Mamdani waltzed into the office to accompany Patrick on his viewing of this announcement, but left Patrick to himself after seeing him in a dazed state.
Gaster stood over Jimmy’s grayed body, a sickening jet-black grin over his face.
“I DID ALWAYS KNOW HE WAS A ROTTEN,” he laughed with a manic glee, shoving two eggs into his mouth. One could only hope they were boiled. “ EGG.”
Carol refused to enable his delusions of comedy. Such an awful pun—And it wasn't even about Christmas. That was the real unforgivable part, she thought.
“Stop making awful puns and clean this up Windgings,” she snipped. Gaster frowned, sullen like a child told he wasn't allowed to have any more sweets.
“ALRIGHT,” he said, pulling out a vacuum from Angel-Knows-Where.
“Well then,” Carol said, looking over the mess. “Any other candidates?”
Gaster shook his head. Carol felt a vicious grin spreading its way across her face.
“Wonderful.”
On the announcement podium, there she stood, a microphone in hand and a funny-looking floating clown right next to her.
“Citizens of America,” she started. “It is my pleasure to announce that-”
“UEHEEHEE! CITIZENS, CITIZENS! VOTE ME, ME, AND YOU'LL BE FREE, FREE!”
…
“Ignore him,” she said, in spite of the fact that he was the actual presidential candidate. “He's a lunatic.”
Gaster raised an eyebrow, silently asking the question of ‘ Are you seriously insulting your own proxy candidate?’
“LUNATIC? WHY, CITIZENS, CITIZENS, I AM THE ONLY SANE ONE HERE!” said Jevil. Carol saw that disrespectful purple dragon girl scoffing in the audience. She recalled tha-
“AMERICA, I’LL SHOW YOU WHAT IT MEANS TO BE FREE!”
“Just don’t end up in a wheelchair please… or you’ll sabotage our entire operation.” Carol thought to herself as she continued to read from a predetermined script, trying to not go insane from Jevil’s unpredictable interruptions. She was seriously questioning Gaster’s master plan within two minutes of phase one being executed.
“FOUR YEARS OF PATRICK AND MAMDANI HAS RUINED AMERICA! IF YOU VOTE ME, I’LL DOUBLE THE CHAOS! CHAOS! IT’LL BE FUN!”
“Following careful consultation, I am officially declaring my support for Jevil as the Republican presidential candidate for the 2036 presidential election.” Carol finished her script with a very skeptical deep breath. “I will be taking questions now,” she said just before the verbal flood of bewildered journalists rushed the podium.
“Carol, what is your master pl-”
“Speaker Holiday, what are you thi”
“Can Darkners even run for the preside-”
“Is Jevil even thirty five years o-”
“Are you going to run for Vice President of the United States on the Jevil ticket?”
“No, I will not be the vice presidential candidate.” Carol harshly responded, desperately wanting to escape from the media flood. She turned her head around and gave Gaster the stink eye before continuing her answer. “I will retain my position as Speaker of the House, as I find Jevil is more suited for the role of preside-”
“IF YOU DON’T VOTE FOR ME, THEN YOU’LL LOSE!”
All the journalists ignored Jevil’s chaos and asked another question in unison somehow. Even some of the Hometown residents joined in this unscripted collective question.
“Then who is going to run for Vice President then!”
Carol silently stood still at the podium as her brain malfunctioned. Despite Gaster’s genius and her political intellect, they had failed to account for the fact that America in fact, does also have a Vice President and they needed to run one.
“Speaker Holiday, are you there?”
A bright light erupted from the air between Carol and the floating maniacal Jevil, blinding the audience momentarily and damaging several expensive news cameras.
A blue figure with white hair and eyes, immediately recognizable to any Darkner or Castle Town tourist, emerged from the mysterious light and levitated down onto the granite steps of Town Hall.
“I shall be the vice president of the United Stateth!” Rouxls announced to a bewildered audience.
Silence.
“Well, there’s your candidate.” Gaster whispered to Carol.
“The Republican party is proud to announce Darkner and former Duke of Puzzles Rouxls Kaard as our Vice Presidential Candidate!” Carol said in a very forced tone.
Jevil stopped dancing around to stare at Kaard for a moment, then returned to his floating act.
“VOTE FOR ME AND KAARD TO GET YOUR FREEDOM! FREEDOM!”
“Uh… Glory to the holiday administration?” Rouxls said confusingly, having appeared in front of Town Hall with zero knowledge of the plan.
“I will uhh… not be taking any more questions.” Carol quickly muttered, seeing her chance of escape from the increasingly curious press. She immediately turned around and sped walked into the sanctuary of town hall, escorted out of view by Briefcase Dude and Politics Bear. Gaster also discreetly disappeared.
“So it seems like in exactly four months, we will have to face off and beat an unknown individual who is insane, chaotic but most importantly, unpredictable.” President Patrick said to his cabinet during an emergency meeting in the White House, still anxious from Holiday’s sudden announcement.
“Along with a vice presidential candidate who reportedly committed animal abuse while serving as Duke in the Card Kingdom.” Vice President Mamdani interjected.
“There’s no way the populace will capitulate to this inexperienced insanity, right?” Patrick motioned across the table to the CEO of the Democratic Party’s contracted polling firm, John Poll.
“Unfortunately, our analysts found out that support for a Republican administration spiked five points in the hours after Speaker Holiday’s announcement. Ninety four percent of President Holiday supporters retained their support for Jevil/Kaard after the announcement, with only three percent of respondents shifting to your party. At this point, to describe it bluntly, you’re going to be cooked in four months if these trends stay where they are.”
“I understand your concern for how cooked we are and appreciate your brutal honesty.” Patrick said.
“It may seem bad, but concrete rumors have spread in my industry that may serve as a lifeline for your inevitable reelection campaign.” Cam P. Aign, the Democratic chief campaign manager said as they walked into the conference room.
“Have you been listening to our conversation on the other side of the door?” Mamdani asked.
“I cannot confirm or deny that.” They replied.
Cam had always been a wild card in Patrick’s close advisor circle. Despite their eccentricity and lack of experience five years ago, Patrick’s gut had been right in choosing Aign for his successful election run in 2032. Hopefully they can save him in the re-election too.
“What’s our saving grace then?” Patrick asked.
“Well, according to my colleagues who also work in the field, not one campaign management company wants to be associated with anything to do with Jevil/Kaard. Many see it as an act of PR suicide in the corporate world. If Holiday can’t get any reputable campaign companies under her belt, we might be able to edge the Republicans out in terms of organization and game.” Cam said, summoning a holographic floating screen to present her hastily made Google slides with graphs.
Patrick and Mamdani took it all in and thanked Cam simultaneously. “We may finally have a way to survive the upcoming battle and continue our fight to serve Americans First.” Mamdani announced positively to the cabinet.
Kris, Susie and Ralsei were having a cool ass tea party in their connected bedrooms, cooling off after Holiday’s announcement. Castle Town had been bustling as floods of Darkners returned from Hometown, further adding to the mountainload of tourists injecting Dark Dollars into the local economy by purchasing Fangamer merchandise. Ralsei’s castle was the only quiet part of the sanctuary, cordoned off for the Prince’s weekly tea party.
“Glory to the Holiday Administration." Kris muttered as the three of them toasted their teacups.
“I still can’t believe that we managed to bribe Gaster into giving all of us freedom with Toriel’s butterscotch-cinnamon pie.” Susie said right before downing one of the cakes in one gulp. “I’m surprised our journey went down such a weird route , but in the end everyone had a happy ending.”
“I’m happy for you two and everyone. It seems like that ever since you two appeared in my kingdom and the week where we changed the world’s destiny things have only gone uphill. Thanks to you two bribing Gaster, I can even enter the light world freely along with every other darkner. If there were thousands of AUs and I had to choose one to permanently stay in, it would definitely be this one.” Ralsei casually said as he prodded at his own very tasty cake slice with a fork.
Suddenly, a wooshing noise erupted down the hallway leading to Susie’s bedroom door before the door exploded. Jevil appeared from the smoke, Rouxls Kaard behind him.
“What the hell?” Susie yelled, dropping her teacup in the process.”
“KRIS, SUSIE, RALSEI, I NEED YOUR HELP!”
“Jevil, I know you’re running for president, but what can we do for you that Carol’s high level team can’t.”
Rouxls Kaard responded with their current predicament. “Humans think we're too chaotic and no campaign agency wants to work for us. Carol told us to find someone else to help us.”
Ralsei immediately rebutted rationally. “Well, we have zero experience with helping someone win an election. I think you should look for someone els-”
“KRIS! I’LL GIVE YOU INFINITE MOSS IF WE WIN!”
“Infinite… moss?” Kris yelped as DETERMINATION rushed through their veins. “I’m in.”
“Well, it seems like we have to follow Kris’s lead, so I’m joining too.” Susie reluctantly muttered. “Jevil, once you’re president, can you do me a favor.”
“YES! UEE HEE HEE!”
“Whatever adventure you two embark on, I’ll accompany you until the very end!” Ralsei said, volunteering himself too.
The fun gang wrapped up their tea party, before waltzing down to the first floor of the castle, mentally readying themselves for the four month long marathon that would start the second they ascended back into the light world.
“Thou shalt outsmart the Democrats!” Kaard ordered.
“We will, but we might need more help.” Ralsei replied. The fun gang and the two candidates made it to the entryway of the castle, familiar darkners gazing at their unexpected appearance.
Suddenly, a black shiny blur rushed down from the sky above them and floated just in front of them.
“Dess?” Susie yelled, gesturing friendly signals at the Knight. Despite their previous conflict, it turns out that Knight was just a chill gal put in impossible circumstances during that unforgettable week. After bribing Gaster with the pie, Dess unlocked the ability to seamlessly switch from her regular form to her Knight form, even in the light world.
“Azzy? TOGORE?” Kris screamed as their two siblings stepped down from the Knight’s back, rushing forward for a three way bear hug.
“Looks like someone needed help for their next adventure.” Asriel said, kneeling down for the hug.
“We are all going to help you.” Togore said monotonously as he spread his arms out. “Jevil is going to win the presidency.”
Chapter 2: Swinging the States (Stakes) [WIP]
Summary:
The ground team's first deployment to a Purple State to help sway it Republican via any means possible.
[UNFINISHED]
Notes:
gotta love procrastinating throughout the entire day just to get a burst of writing motivation at 12 am
suprised how this blew up, ill try and not abandon this this time but school is starting tomorrow so i may be cooked
Chapter Text
The Jevil/Kaard for President (JK4P) campaign crew gathered together in Carol’s mansion after being called over by Speaker Holiday herself. In the hour that had passed since Jevil recruited the fun gang into his ranks, word had spread across Castle Town and many darkners had volunteered to sign up. The living room was packed with volunteers and familiar faces as everyone waited for Carol to assign them orders. With no contracted managers in sight and Carol having just hours before having to return to Washington D.C. for another House session, the whole process was more disorganized than Alphys’s teaching but at the end of the hour people were beginning to lock in on contributing to Jevil’s presidential run.
Anybody with any smidgen of qualification or experience was placed in an important role. For example, Spamton was assigned to the JK4P’s Department of digital outreach, and immediately started to bother people by mass sending Jevil-Kaard propaganda to every email address in existence, starting with Hometown residents.
Tenna, who snagged a ludicrous multibillion dollar contract with Paramount Skydance for daily episodes of Mr. Ann Tenna’s TV Time soon after the bribing of Gaster, was to be tasked with using his media connections to “discreetly” push pro-Jevil/Kaard and anti-Patrick/Mamdani ideologies across the world of cable. He was also eager to and was assigned to make sure all presidential debates were to take place on his platform and with him as the moderator in a totally unbiased way.
What would become the most important puppet supporting Carol and Gaster’s master plan however, would be the ground team. This assignment was given to some very important people: the Fun Gang, Azzy, Dess and Togore. Noelle and Berdly were also given supporting roles and would accompany the ground team on some out-of-Hometown excursions when it was needed.
Carol turned her head over to the remaining few in the living room, after everyone else left to begin the treacherous journey against a superior force.
“Kris, Susie, Ralsei. You three will be part of the Ground Team due to your previous qualifications of persuasion (bribing Gaster) along with plot armor. Hopefully you don’t have to fight any Democrats in a violent way on your excursions, but your main role is to fill up any opponent’s mercy bar to convert them to supporting Jevil/Kaard for president.”
“Are we really suited for this?” Ralsei asked skeptically. “I’ve never really been outside of Hometown, yet alone Castle Town since we darkners were given freedom .”
“Don’t worry toothpaste boy, you’ll be our emotional support prince on this new adventure.” Susie playfully replied, patting the fluffy boy’s head.
“Moss… Anything for that moss…” Kris sounded like they were possessed.
“I think Kris says we are.” Susie translated.
“If my best friends want to, then I’ll accompany them!” Ralsei agreed, capitulating to Carol’s assignment.
“Good.” Carol announced. Then she turned over to Dess, Asriel and Togore. Dess and Asriel were in their darkner forms, competing in a seemingly serious aura-farming competition as an incomprehensible power emerged from their bodies. Togore was standing there in his default pose between the two aurafarmers, still as a statue.
“Carol, what do you request?” Togore asked monotonously, sensing the lukewarm coldness on his skin from Carol’s aura. He broke from his statue formation and casually walked forward, gradually escaping from the secondhand wrath of Dessriel who were in the climax of their aura farming competition.
“Togore, your secret ability is being Togore-tastic. I promise you, it will come handy on your excursions with your siblings and friends.” Carol replied in a softer tone, like she used to when Noelle was younger.
“Okay Carol, I understand. Please make sure my mom and dad are happy when I’m gone.”
“I will. Pinky promise.”
Togore had now been officially recruited. Now onto the last two. Carol had a tried and trusted strategy to get her daughter and her boyfriend in line.
“ December Holiday .”
The all so familiar frostbitten connotations associated with her full name muttered by her mother involuntarily ejected the Knight from the aurafarming competition. The sudden imbalance in destructive aura interference that stabilized aural force in the competition immediately knocked Dess over, sending her into the air just as she swung her helmet around. Asriel, the God of Hyperdeath, fared just a bit better than Dess and was also launched backwards from the consequences of catastrophic unscheduled aura-farming ejection. Their ejections also had the side effect of releasing a modest shockwave in the Holiday resident’s living room, knocking and disturbing several dozen precisely placed decorations and giving Asgore ten more hours of housekeeping to do.
itchyrock on Chapter 1 Sat 23 Aug 2025 06:28AM UTC
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Pancake93611 on Chapter 1 Sat 23 Aug 2025 08:21AM UTC
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AnonymousComrade123 on Chapter 1 Sat 23 Aug 2025 08:13PM UTC
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lowrestarzana on Chapter 2 Mon 25 Aug 2025 07:06PM UTC
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