Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Entry Number Sixteen: Failure

Decades of work... I sacrificed parts of my mind and body in research for this project... and I not only failed... but I have created an affront to nature, an affront to the universe... The Angel, the Tale of the Deltarune, Monsters, Humans and Darkners would all be repulsed and horrified of what I have mistakenly spawned.

Something went wrong... something that should not be possible...

The human and monster souls I came across were compatible in every way, the Darkner life essence I regrettably 'borrowed' from the fountain I discovered within the school was not only compatible with both souls... but stabilized each soul, negating their more polarizing properties and allowing for a smoother, less dangerous fusion of life energies... there should have been no complications...

The human soul was intended to emit a surge of determination, but small and highly controlled one.

Yet as the souls had fused, the human souls determination surged rapidly to levels that are physiologically impossible.

The human soul was producing more than double its mass in determination, had this not been extremely terrifying and immensely dangerous, I would have been amazed at such a display of power.

The energy emitted by the determination surge killed the monster soul on impact... there wasn't even dust remaining... it was just gone.

And something was wrong with the ball of light that was being emitted... that type of science isn't my specialty... but even I felt something was amiss.

Once the human soul had forcibly broken free mid-fusion... it began to hover away...

Only the Angel knows where and why for certain... but the only plausible theory is the sheer volume of DT it was producing and excreting left the soul immensely weak... so it has sought out a hidden, secure location to go into stasis and recover.

Hopefully it can escape the bunker to avoid the more pressing matter.

Everything looks normal on my cameras... but the timestamps are several minutes behind, and no matter how much I try to clean the observation room windows, they remain immensely difficult to see through as if they had been frosted over.

I need to rewatch the security footage and find a way to update the cameras immediately...

Diagnostics and Comments

Photon Readings.... Lower than expected, some numbers seem anomalous... but I will have to open the tab and read every peice of information collected by scanners before making any judgement.

Laboratory Temperature.... -15 degrees celsius, more than 50 degrees colder than it was during soul fusion... 2.5 minutes ago.

Observation Room Temperature... 23 degrees celsius. Cozy.

Primary and Backup Life Support Systems for both Souls and the Vessel... inoperable beyond repair, destroyed by the surge of DT from the human soul.

At least most of my scanners are functional...

Vessel Biometrics.... dangerously sparse cardiac activity... core body temperature... 6 degrees celsius.

The fact that the vessel is still alive at all in such a state is... anomalous.

The vessel is far more physically durable than the relatively equal human and monster in every way... but something is off about this reading... even a being like this should be dead... it will be the first piece of data I investigate alongside the photon readings while rewatching the surveillance tapes.

Brain activity is sparse, only the bare minimum signalling life, as well as the occasional signal approximating pain or physical distress, if I can even call what this creature is experiencing distress... considering it is in a vegetative state.

That doesn't make me feel better.

Why in the Angel's name did I give a being sentience, before I gave it a soul? I can't even call it a being, it is a husk at the most... and it's short lived existance is going to end anyways due to my stupidity.

The previous owner... or... resident of this bunker had a... concerningly large collection of human and monster remains...

Most were decayed beyond recognition, except for one... a rather thin and emaciated, but perfectly viable human cadaver...

What sick impulse guided me to desecrate an innocent person's body like that...

Was it fear? Was it desperation? Was it madness? I can't say.... perhaps it was the same madness that convinced it was acceptable to kill a darkner...

I should have either merged the souls before I prepared the vessel... or I should have attempted an artifical soul I could prepare a body around... without defacing a corpse and performing, unnecessarily risky surgical procedures...

That way it could rest painlessly in suspension until I could truly ensure every aspect of its physiology and animation would be compatible.

But I've rambled far too much, I have work to do.

Entry Number Seventeen: A Grave Mistake

After rewatching the surveillance tapes... the situation has changed from bad... to catastrophic.

The human soul was not producing such a massive yeild of determination like I originally thought, the determination levels were still immensely high, at 130% of its mass, but that is marginally within the limits of what human souls are capable of...  monsters can handle up to 70 to 90% of their souls mass being DT... and Boss Monsters can endure almost 110%... so I'm uncertain how the surge had so violently destroyed the monster soul.

Although the soul was producing less DT than I had believed... it was producing the DT at an extremely rapid rate...

So rapidly the soul was forced to secrete pure determination during the surge as a means of keeping the DT levels survivable.

It's why it looked like the soul was physically breaking down..., pure, concentrated DT that is being excreted by the soul has been mistaken for physical decay... even by experts like myself.

I can't call myself an expert anymore, not after my vile experiments... they stood against my duty to study life to protect... the old me would be appalled at what I've done.

..... I'm losing focus.

Pure determination which was excreted from the soul directly on top of and inside of the vessel...

How had I missed that?

....

The observation room window is beginning to clear, I finally fixed the biometric scanners for the vessel to stop showing outdated information.

No, that isn't right... but my eyes confirm it.

The vessel is gone... I don't know how, the vitals should have alerted me to any changes, I should have had an alert showing it had slipped its arms through the restraints... something...

I've unintentionally created an abomination... a being with sentience, but no soul, flowing with determination... with the capacity to kill, but no inhibations to consider whether it should... it was an empty slate of DT capable of imprinting itself onto other beings, that also meant it could feed on more than just physical matter, it could feed off of energy created by physical reactions, and even soul energy like emotions... with no conscience... it doesn't understand higher concepts such as love, hate, joy, sorrow, fear, or mercy... all it knows is survival, to grow and expand.

I doubt it is very strong, it doesn't have a soul to channel and wield energy through its body.... again, like a husk. My hypothesis for how it escaped the restraints is the concentrated determination allows it to take on more... fluid and malleable forms.

While it may not be very physically strong... and it doesn't have magic, or a soul to wield its DT to enhance its physical abilities, the lack of soul makes it unkillable through force alone... there isn't a physical or magical construct to shatter and eviscerate... and cease the flow of lifeforce.

And even if one were to destroy vital component's like the brain or heart... it's high concentration of DT would just regenerate it....

At least the bunker is more than fortified enough to contain this thing and starve it out until it is forced to use its determination as sustenance and eats itself alive.

The people on the outside don't deserve to suffer for my errors and hubris.

I can only pray to the Angel that it makes my death quick when it finds me...

I should have never tried to play god... I should not have tried interfering with the prophecy... but... it didn't sit right with me that the heroes would only show themselves on the darkest day, to stop The Roaring...

When people in the present are suffering.

I... I... just wanted to prevent the future generations from having to suffer like I did, their prayers and cries for help falling on deaf ears...

I just wanted to give the world a benevolent protector, because only heaven knows when the heroes will show up... it's possible they haven't even been born yet.

...

I know I heard something... it was a bang, something being knocked over or smashed.

...

Another bang, much closer this time.

Angel, have mercy on my soul, I don't deserve it... but please... all I ask is that abomination kills me quickly.

Oh no...

I've made a grave mistake in my calculations...

The vessel's ribcage was where most of the determination concentrate fell, It may take the vessel years, if not decades to discover this ability... but it will eventually learn that a shard or fragment of its rib could be used to...

Forge a dark fountain...

Or... even.....

To implant a fragment of its life essence into another being....allowing it to grow and learn exponentially faster as it blends the essence of the victim's DT or Magic with its DT.

Like a soul parasite...

When the human soul was forcibly unmerging... the light it was emitting had a dark dull spot at its center...

That is why the...

Photon readings were negative...

The dark spot within the orb of light was a singularity where the soul's DT had very briefly created the perfect conditions for a dark fountain to grow.

The more that abomination feasts, the more it will learn about its environment, the stronger it will get...

Sooner or later it will learn how to make a fountain... where it can feed, grow and learn... until... until...

It learns how to escape a dark world it created without sealing the fountain... like I did... and once it learns that... the bunker's hold will eventually break... and that hellspawn will be able to freely terrorize the world above.

...I feel an intense dread.....

....The Deltarune calls for us to be strong and hold on to hope in the Angel, so we may have the strength to act when the time is right... so we may use their gifts to do what is right.

But what I have done today..... is an affront to heaven.

.....the only plausible option is....

If the vessel keeps growing, the abilities it could develop would make it similar to....

The Roaring Knight... I defied the Prophecy, the Holy Book... and made the exact mistakes it had warned me to never make.

My hubris has condemned us all to hell...

... I know I heard something

I hear the vessel dragging... something across the floor nearby.

All I have is an old medical scalpel I forgot to discard in my front coat pocket... I have no choice, I have to try and slow it down in any way possible....

Entry Number Eighteen: My Final Moments

The vessel may be very difficult to kill, but it is extremely susceptible to attacks of any kind, even a monster of my age did notable damage to it... the husk fled before I was able to subdue it... but I doubt it will be away for long.

...

I was right, it's only been two minutes and it has returned, clawing at the door to my observation room.

....

I think it has given up, everything is quiet.

...

I hear faint squelching...

I don't know where that repugnant odour came from...

It's forcing itself under the door....

I dare not take a breath.

Everything is so dark... if the vessel did not smell of decomposition...

I would never know it was right in front of me, watching... waiting.

Angel, please have mercy on this old fool. I beg for your eternal grace and mercy that this monstrosity remains locked away in this bunker for eternity.

I feel its cold hands clasping my soul.

Chapter Text

Dess sat on her bed, her back against her pillow as she spiritlessly plucked at her guitar strings.

Her 'class' was let out of school 45 minutes early, and despite how rare such an opportunity was, any potential excitement or joy was numbed, like she had been through this a million times. Then again, she'd graduated from highschool last year and had signed herself up for tutoring to keep her mind sharp for a semester in January... Oh Angel Azzie had turned her into the biggest fucking nerd ever. 

She'd done everything Hometown had to offer, she retraced every step until the grooves had worn into the ground were too deep to traverse.

Dess was leaving for college during the fall, but that was another five months away, and everything moved so slowly in Hometown.

Hometown was amazing, but by the Angel's grace it was so damn boring.

The most action Hometown had in the past three years was her and Kris drawing swear words on the sidewalk.

She'd been so bored she'd sometimes... Bend the rules a little, get wild...

Her face morphed into a frown at that thought, realizing she'd been kind of an asshole to Mom... But it's not like she was perfect either. Carol's ridiculously strict curfew to compensate for working 60 hours a week and not being at home often, but all it did was irritate Dess and gave her less time with Mom.

It's not like Dess was Carol's little girl either, she'd turned 19 this Febuary and by all accounts was a legal adult, she shouldn't have to be home by 11:00 for Angel's sake, if she was going out for six plus hours she shouldn't have to explain her plans to Mom or Dad... she'd sat on that topic for a while, but never got around to discussing it. Perhaps she could bring it up when Carol got home.

Dess shook those thoughts away, today was not a good day for a talk like that, there were two very difficult tests at school and the exhaustion of crunch time studying and completing the tests had caught up to her all at once right at the hometime bell.

Her Mom most certainly would not be in the mood for an emotionally draining talk like that either, Carol was in Delta City meeting with the homophobic fuckwad of a govenor, trying to justify her bylaw decriminalizing gay marriage.

"Ughh...", Dess grumbled to herself for wasting precious brainpower on that scumbag.

She continued plucking at the guitar, this time with purpose and hummed the chorus of her one hit wonder, 'Raise Up Your Bat.'

Dess played at a lower tempo, turning the fiery song of resilience into a more reflective and somber tune. It seemed right for moment.

As her attention shifted entirely to the song, and Dess's mind started to clear, her head instinctually bobbed back and forth.

A smile crept across Dess's face as countless memories filtered into her mind as she continued humming the chorus, staying just long enough to make her feel warm and cozy, but not so long as to distract her from playing the song.

Her and Asriel's first 'date' was two years ago writing lyrics for the song by the creek, they held hands and watched the stream babble while brainstorming.

Each time practice was at The Dreemurr's, Kris was eager to add a piano solo, Dess loved how happy they liked being the star of the "show."

Noelle's unmatched excitement when Dess would pick up her guitar, even if she was just moving it, tuning it, or cleaning it.

How embarassed and adorable Asriel was when she wrote that cheesy love song for valentine's day.

Angel that man was adorable, and easily flustered, at times, or was... he'd gotten bolder slowly but surely

They could be married with two kids and he'd turn crimson at a smooch on the cheek.

As if to prove her wrong, the memory of how Asriel had been the one to initiate their first kiss while on a 'couples' camping trip, flipping the script and leaving her the rambling puddle of embarrassment. A slight chuckle escaped Dess as she felt her nose and cheeks grow warm.

"That goober is transmitting his dorkiness to me.", Dess whispered with a dumb grin across her face.

A few seconds later, Dess regained focus, letting more memories in as she resumed humming and strummed her guitar.

How damn proud she and Asriel were once they had finally finished writing their song, how Mom, Dad, The Dreemurrs and everyone in town had given compliments for their hard work.

Satisfaction, that feeling of bliss, being on top of the world returned to Dess as she recalled her debut performance at QC's Diner, how 'shocked' and 'disgusted' Carol... and Toriel looked when she heard the opening lyrics... but by the end of the song both of their Mom's were cheering so much louder than everyone else combined.

Everything was so calm, so serene. With her eyes closed like this Dess would inevitably fall asleep, and as much as she wanted that, it was barely three in the afternoon.

She'd probably just have another college dream anyways, they were boring... something she was trying to avoid.

Dess cracked her neck as she sat up, and hopped off the bed, grabbing her backpack as she placed her guitar at its usual spot in front of the walk in closet.

She brought her backpack to her desk, taking unsusual care to put all of her school books and supplies neatly in a stack. Dess hadn't busted her ass all week just to mess them up.

Dess went to grab her sweater from the doorknob, then hesitated. Her clothes stunk of school, and she was heading out to get away from that.

She unbuckled her belt, pulling it through the belt loops and dropping it on the floor, letting her pants fall as she ambled towards her closet and stepped out of them.

Her jean shorts immediately caught her attention; but the mosquitos would be bad tonight whether it rained or not.

As much as a pair of tights in one of her dressers called to Dess, she chose the pair of black leggings instead, they looked just as good and the fabric's extra thickness could better deal with the mosquitoes.

Once Dess had put her jean shorts on top of her leggings, she pulled her plaid shirt over her head, struggling slightly as she hadn't cared enough to unbutton it, and haphazardly tossed it on to her bed. All of her attention shifted towards the custom bloodcrushers graphic tee on the hanger.

Dess had been wearing it excessively, but it was so damn cool to have a shirt with her band logo on the front. She wasted no time in putting the shirt on, Dess grabbed her sweater from her doorknob and slipped into it, but didn't zip it closed or pull the hood up.

It was forecasted to drizzle, and Dess didn't care, some rain wasn't going to stop her from looking cool.

Dess grabbed her baseball bat and put it in her backpack, then put her guitar in the case and strapped it around her shoulder.

As she stepped out of her room, she knew Carol would bitch about her leaving her dirty clothes about instead of putting them away, but that was a problem for future her.

Dess took care to quietly close her bedroom door behind her, she enjoyed how happy Dad looked whenever she suddenly appeared downstairs.

Each step Dess took down the stairs was careful and measured, she was even with her steps so the guitar didn't bounce and  hit the railing.

"Watcha up to?", Rudy questioned warmly from the couch, noticing Dess as she stepped into the living room.

"I'm heading out for the night, I'll be back by curfew.", Dess responded.

"So, 10 minutes after actual curfew.", Rudy teased.

"Maybe.", Dess responded with an eye roll as she headed to the kitchen, taking two full water bottles from the fridge, and putting them in her backpack, replacing the old one which she put in the sink.

"Any special plans? If you don't mind me prying." Rudy questioned, still lounging on the couch as Dess returned from the kitchen.

"Not really, I'm just gonna walk around town and play my guitar, do a little thinking... see where my thoughts take me. I might do some hiking if the rain isn't too bad."

Dess knew Rudy had a cheesy joke and mild mockery lined up if she told him about her other plan of beating the shit out of some trees with her bat.

"That sounds lovely, although a bit too tame for a free spirit like yourself. Why the change of pace?"

"I've done everything Hometown has to offer so many times over that I'm just out of ideas, it's less about the where, and more about letting my thoughts and the music flow in sync."

She answered unexpectedly quick and confidently, her actual plans were more along the lines of dicking around...

"Good on yah, introspection does wonders for the soul, but why go out if it's potentially gonna rain... when you could do that thinking at home in a cozy ass bed?", Rudy asked genuinely, despite his usual joking tone.

"I'm not really sure, it just feels natural to go out on a Friday night, even if I have nobody to hang with."

Dess responded.

"Then I'd best not keep the lone wolf waiting much longer, I've got plans of my own anyways."

"You've got plans?", Dess chuckled with an eyebrow raise despite her efforts.

"That's no way to speak to your Father, young lady. For that transgression I'm not sharing the cookies I'm planning to bake with you."

Rudy responded with faux indignance.

"Love yah too, Dad."

Dess smirked as she shook her head and made her way outside.

"Love yah too, rockstar.", Rudy answered affectionately.

Dess gently closed the front door behind her. She looked up as she made her way to the front gate

The sky was a calm overcast, even with the dark, foreboding clouds north of town. A consistent breeze brushed against Dess's fur as she opened the obnoxiously large front gate, and pushed it closed with a loud grunt.

As an elected official it made sense for Mom to set up an additional sense of security for their home, but not only was the gate extremely heavy, but it had hurt the family way more than it protected it.

Carol broke her foot when the gate smashed into her shins and crushed her hoof, Dess always felt soreness in her shoulders and back the day after opening and closing it, Rudy had his hand get caught in the gate a few times, and one time poor Noelle was locked out after school because Dad was ill and sickness left him too weak to open it.

Mom had to sprint home in heels from City Hall to open the gate for an extremely distraught Noelle... and she almost got hit by Asriel, who was doing driving practice with his dad. Luckily Asgore saw Carol coming and forcibly swerved out of the way.

Hopefully the automized gate Mom had ordered would arrive soon.

Dess headed east, and stopped at the intersection. She had already wasted enough time getting distracted by passing thoughts and memories... but it couldn't hurt to stand there for a few moments and look at the Dreemur house to the north.

She was planning on crashing there for the night, but Asriel was helping Kris with their math homework, and being the colossal nerd he was, had decided to spend the remaining portion of his friday night working ahead in his math textbook. He had also enrolled in voluntary lessons for a semester, just for funsies though.

But that's why she loved him, he was a doer like she was. Carol preferred the terms 'proactive' and goal oriented', but those were snobby, corporate ass buzzwords... Dess could tell Mom felt the same, but she had to maintain that robotic facade for optics.

All she wanted was for Asriel to spend a little less time doing homework, and a little more time doing her.

... She had meant.

Doing stuff with her, like hanging out...

Everything went silent, her brain tuned out the world as she processed that thought a second time slowly. Her nose glowed red hot as she pulled her hood tightly around her face and spedwalked across the street, and maintained a conscious effort to not look back.

She continued east half a block, then went south , turning west towards QC's diner.

Luckily by then, her red nose and cheeks had returned to a normal colour. Dess was rather hungry, and while she was capable of making something at home, only a dumbass would not eat out on a friday night.

Plus she had to come up with more things to do as a way to pass the time. Dess opened the door to the diner, the signature ringing of the bell dinged as she entered and made her way to the counter.

The diner was unsurprisingly empty, the supper rush wasn't until 5:30.

"Good afternoon Dess! What can I get for you today?", QC chirped excitedly as she approached the counter.

"I'm not sure, still thinkin'.", Dess responded cooly.

"No worries! Take your time! What's the occasion? You are the first customer in an hour and a half, and will likely be the only one until five."

"I'm pretty hungry and can't be bothered to cook for myself, it's a Friday and I just wanna eat good food without putting in any effort.", Dess answered honestly and plainly.

"I've been there honey, although it is a little harder as the owner of a diner.", Dess smiled at the joke.

QC replied warmly, "Got any cravings?"

"Not really, but I do know what I want. I'd like a beef stew please."

Dess answered politely.

QC flashed a smile, trying to hide the shock on her face, other than the rare occasions Rudy had steak with Asgore here, or when Carol bought chicken wings for City Council, the Holidays were mostly vegetarians, being deer monsters and all.

"Excellent choice honey! A hearty meal is good for the soul. Feel free to take a seat wherever you wish." QC answered warmly as she scribbled onto a notepad and made her way towards the kitchen.

Dess nodded in acknowledgment, and made her way towards the back booth by the window and slid all the way to the end.

Dess didn't really care much for meat, but Mom and Dad would make some when the Dreemurs came for dinner, and it had been a while since Mom and Dad made stew.

Dess removed her sweater and put it next to her on the bench. Her head swiveled left as QC returned from the back, the kitchen doors swung behind her.

"It's on the house hun.", QC affirmed gently as she placed the mug of hot chocolate onto the table.

"It's no Holiday hot chocolate, but it is made with love.", QC playfully commented.

Dess instincually grabbed her wallet from her sweater pocket, but QC refused before she could open it.

"You have integrity young lady, but your next few drinks are on the house, it's only right I give you something in exchange for your lovely performance last month.

"It was nothin'.", Dess responded casually.

QC couldn't help but stifle a giggle.

"You sounded like Rudy just now. He was sitting in the same booth and said nearly the same thing back when he and Mr. Dreemurr helped me move all my stuff back in after renovations.

"Well, I should say when Asgore helped me move back in." QC recalled fondly, her eyes a gleeful smile.

Dess raised a brow in surprise, her Dad was a bit of a slouch but he busted his ass daily doing domestic work.

QC caught on and chuckled nostalgically, "Rudy might be a hard worker now, but at your age he was a slacker in almost every way.."

"His help amounted to moving three half full boxes of reserve kitchenware to the storage in the back... as well as putting all the chairs and stools out.", QC explained warmly.

"He left poor Asgore to bring in my two convection ovens, the stainless steel flat top, two refrigerators, two freezers, three countertops, two industrial size dishwashers, six gigantic cabinets, two industrial size food processors, the deep fryer, two microwaves, the three compartment sink and Angel knows how many boxes that held everything else."

"Dess shook her head with a smile, "Damn, that's rough."

"I did feel bad for Asgore even though the big softy was so strong he didn't break a sweat, but I didn't mind too much. What matters is your Dad realized pretty quickly his mistakes that night and became a better monster for it."

QC answered happily, but the silence didn't last long.

"My goodness! As fun as going down memory lane is, I'd best return to the kitchen, the stew alone takes almost hour to cook, and that doesn't include prep time or the side dish."

QC blurted in realisation.

"It was nice chattin', maybe I'll come back tomorrow and make use of those free drinks."

Dess answered cooly as QC spun on her heels and returned to the kitchen.

QC called back, "Alrighty.", her voice as cheerful and pleasant as always.

Dess slouched and her face shifted to a more disinterested expression as the kitchen doors shut, staring at the table with her hands on her chin. It felt good to let the mask slip while alone, just for a little.

That pose grew boring quick so Dess took some sips of her hot chocolate, and rested her head against the window, scooching her body across the booth so she could lean comfortably to do the same thing.

Dess noticed the dark clouds from the north had made their way directly above Hometown, the sky was a dark, shifting gradient of grays and the grass rustled louder as the winds changed from a breeze to a gust.

The lazy stupor continued as Dess leaned against the windows and took occasional sips of her hot chocolate.

Small patters of rain bounced off the window, slowly growing in volume and rhythm until Dess noticed it as she took another sip of hot chocolate.

The pattering drops of rain entranced Dess as she watched them trickle down the window and onto the pavement.

Some droplets trickled all the way down uninterrupted, some merged and became big drops that rapidly descended the window and took out any smaller drops in their path, while most didn't even hit the window, let alone the diner.

An exhale escaped Dess as she took another sip of hot chocolate and leaned back against the glass.

The pattering grew as the rain began to fall harder, its rhythm slowly mesmerized Dess.

Her eyes drooped slightly, but remained focused, her breathing slowed but remained steady.

Her life felt like the rain, each drop an action she had taken, how they accumulated and related to one another, how some were completely meaningless, how some added up, and then, the rain would either move on, or it would end... sometimes leaving signs of itself for a few minutes, sometimes a few hours.

She didn't want the rain to move on, and she sure as hell wasn't ready for the rain to end. She really hoped the signs of her rain would remain for longer than that.

Dess rubbed her face in disappointment, she had been excited to leave Hometown and explore the world, but now that she realized how little time she had left in the only place she knew, she wasn't sure how ready she was to leave...

Dess felt frustrated at how conflicting and contradictory these thoughts were... if it was one way or the other, it would suck... at least it would be manageable, but feeling both so strongly at the same time... it made Dess's head ache with uncertainty and her soul heavy with nostalgia

Some moisture grew at the corner of her eyes, which only pissed Dess off. Crying about something like this was rather childish... Dess tried to convince herself it was just exhaustion from studying and working so hard at school, but she knew it was a copout... and for fuck's sake it was embarrassing for her to consider crying over this.

Even though she knew she wasn't going to cry, she was a Holiday, and she had to act like it, even thinking about crying in a public diner was not a good look.

...

Where the hell had she picked that up? She'd never been told anything like that, but it felt like an instinct, like an indisputable law of reality.

Dess pondered as to where that belief came from, until realization hit her hard.

That one face Mom and Dad made when they would apologize for normal and harmless things... she was making it too, the reflection in the window stared back it her.

"Oh my fucking Angel...", Dess murmured to herself.

Dess understood. She understood her parent's unusual quirks after all these years.

Mom was so cold and straightforward, despite how much she desired to be firm, but comforting and upbeat. Because it was expected a leader be strong and professional. Carol faced extensive criticism any time she'd try and spend more than 24 hours away from work, any time she wasn't talking about strength, or integrity or leadership... It's like her usually strong and imposing voice was being ignored and muted.

And when Mom wasn't able to maintain that mask, she'd bury herself in work to make it look like she was still fulfilling that role, and after being burned out burying herself at work... she'd isolate, so nobody could see the mask had slipped.

Dess lightly bounced her head of the window, one of her first memories a few months before her 15th birthday was when she found Mom in the basement with an empty wine glass... crying.... it was five am on a Christmas morning, and the fifth year in a row she hadn't been able to make it home in time for the prior nights celebrations...

And when Dess tried to ask if her Mom was ok, Carol had made the excuse she'd bumped her head while getting stuff.

Dess couldn't believe she'd fell for that too, she was a teen.

Dess actually felt like she was going to cry this time, but forced the tears away.

And why Dad.... why Dad was so lighthearted and upbeat. He was like the town rock, even more than Father Gerson and Alvin. Everyone came to him with their worries and sorrows, knowing he'd keep them safe and make them feel better with his cheerful energy. Dad was way better at maintaining his mask then Mom, but even his would slip on occasion.

Rudy's offhand comments to himself about being tired, wanting to take a break, while he was taking a break... How many were there for him the way he was for everyone?

Dess knew she couldn't, even as an adult it wasn't right for her to help in that way, and neither Mom or Dad would want her to put that on herself either...

Was that why they were so much closer with the Dreemurs than everyone else in town? They were the only ones they thought they could let their masks down with?

Dad had Mom, Mr. Asgore, and Toriel.. but Mom was in just as deep as he was, and Asgore's role as Chief of Police had forced the two to spend less time together.

Dess wanted to go home and scream at both of them to go get some fucking therapy, talk to the priests... that they didn't have to force themselves into those roles, but that was way out of line; and extremely hypocritical.

For Angel's sake her family were the only church goers who didn't have therapeutic talks with Father Gerson or Father Alvin.

A few months before she turned 17, she'd noticed she'd been acting different... She could never explain what it was, but Dess was starting to understand. She'd started the same cycle as her parents, playing a part...

The rebel girl, the musician, the overachiever...

Was her role in life to satisfy some unspoken law that all Holidays had to exaggerate their personalities and dedicate their energy to everyone but themselves?

The worst part about these cages they'd trapped themselves in were mostly self inflicted... nobody else would give a shit if they took time to themselves, if they let themselves rest. They were just happy to have the Holidays around...

All that was required of them was they show up, and they'd acted like they had to carry the entire fucking world.

Noelle wasn't even a teenager and Dess noticed she'd started internalizing it too.

Noelle was the shy girl, the academic genius, the pushover, the doormat. She didn't want her sister to grow up thinking like that.

Not only was it unhealthy, but if she ever left Hometown... someone could manipulate her into....

No. Dess couldn't think that, she and Mom and Dad and the Dreemurr's would never let that happen.

But... Her and Mom were thought they weren't allowed to say yes, while Noelle and Dad thought they weren't allowed to say no.

And how could they stop something they didn't know was happening? Noelle would suppress herself and her struggles the way everyone else in the family did.

Dess was crying, for real. In public, it wasn't a lot of tears, not enough for anyone to notice... but that's what made this so painful, every mistake was caught and scrutinized in HD by her subconscious.

Dess had to think of anything else or she'd be crying a hell of a lot harder.

Dess returned her focus to the rain, there wasn't much better to do anyways.

The sky was a little lighter despite the rain coming down harder. Perhaps she could find a way to keep crying, even if her face was dry and her eyes were clear.

Dess's chest expanded as she breathed in deeply to calm herself, the rain was steady in its clinking on pavement, windows and roof of the diner.

After a few attempts, Dess had visualized what she wanted, the rain was her fears, her uncertainty, her confliction.

Let it go.

Let it out.

Let it pass.

The rain would pass... it would be peaceful, and when the rain came again Dess had a place in her mind she could seek shelter from the storm.

Dess thought she really shouldn't have needed to do what she did, but a realization like that, and the feelings of powerlessness to stop it overwhelmed her.

The warm, soothing hot chocolate reminded Dess why she would be alright. On the upside, those thoughts had given Dess one more thing she wanted to do tonight.

A gentle tap on the table went unnoticed by the entranced young woman.

"Dess hon, food is done.", QC said quietly as she tapped the table a little more firmly and placed the bowl of stew in front of Dess, who sat up straight quickly, her surprise evident.

There's no Angel damn way it's been an hour, or that QC had been that close to watching Dess unravel.

"I was worried you fell asleep, I was planning on eating that stew myself if you didn't wake up."

QC said teasingly as she placed the napkins and utensils on the table.

"Nah, wasn't sleeping. Just really deep in thought while watching the rain.", Dess responded casually, doing her best to stop the mask from forcing its way back on.

"Perhaps I should have given you something to pass the time with. You looked pretty bored. "QC answered with a warm smile.

"It's all good." Dess assured.

"Do you know what isn't good? I completely forgot to bring out the breadrolls, I know how much you Holidays love those as a side dish.", QC said playfully, as she turned and hurried back to the kitchen.

"Just for that show of bad service I'm not tipping.", Dess responded, matching QC's tone.

"You don't tip anyways." QC retorted as she entered the kitchen.

Dess couldn't think of a good comeback. She was too distracted on trying to be genuine.

QC returned, placing the two warm breadrolls on the napkins next to the stew.

"Need anything else?", QC asked sweetly.

"No thanks, this is perfect.", Dess answered politely.

"Alright, then I'd best leave you to eat, I've got some prep to do for the supper rush."

QC explained as she returned to the kitchen.

Dess tore the breadroll in half and dipped it in the stew, soaking up some gravy. Angel damn was the gravy soaked breadroll delicious.

Dess stabbed her fork into the stew, skewering a mushroom, some carrots and a piece of potato, the vegetables had a perfect texture, soft and chewy after being slowcooked in gravy.

Dess took another bite, this time her fork caught a large piece of potato and chunk of beef.

The warmth, the spices, how it melted in her mouth, all it of was perfect.

As much as Dess wanted to savour the flavour of each bite, she was hungry as hell.

She was patient enough to wait for the stew to cool a little more, but after it had cooled enough, Dess couldn't help but pig out, shoveling peices into her mouth like someone might snatch it away any second.

Dess gave a hum of satisfaction as she shoveled the last bite of stew into her mouth, knowing damn well how stuffed she was going to be from this.

She slouched back in the booth, putting her arms behind her head as she let her meal settle.

QC returned to the front of the diner a few minutes later to check on her customer, to her surprise, Dess had already emptied her bowl.

"My word Dess! Do they forbid you to eat af home? That was enough stew for two or three people to share!", QC exclaimed in genuine shock.

Dess just grinned smugly, "The stew was too good, I couldn't help it, one bite led to another and I was more focused on eating than breathing."

"At least you enjoyed it, but I'm more impressed that you actually tasted anything.", QC responded with her usual homely smile.

Dess was too full to respond.

"Mind if I stay for a bit and let my magic digest this?", she questioned drowsily as she sunk further into the booth.

"I suppose so, let me grab you the bill." QC smiled as she went behind the counter.

Dess lazily reached out as QC put it in her hand.

"60 bucks? Did you raise your prices?", Dess questioned with a smirk.

"I apologize, I forgot to inform you of the 20 dollar lounging fee.", QC answered with a wink.

"I guess that makes sense.", Responded Dess as she grabbed her wallet from her pocket and "mistakenly" handed three 20 dollar bills and a ten dollar bill, as a tip.

QC took only took two of the twenties, but Dess insisted she keep the 10.

"And keep the change.", Dess added, as she put one of the twenties back.

"Thanks a ton, hon!", QC graciously expressed her gratitude . She hadn't been serious in her comment about Dess not tipling.

It was just after four or so when Dess was ready to leave. She put on her sweater and made her way to the door, giving a wave to QC as she left.

"Bye!"

"Cya, hon! Come back soon!"

Dess stepped out into the cool rain, for being a little after 4:30, it was quite dark due to the overcast.

If Dess was going to be out all night, especially if she was planning on going into the forest, she'd need a flashlight... which of course Dess didn't bring because this entire night was a spur of the moment idea. At least the convenience store was just across the street east from the diner.

Dess jogged across the street and entered the convenience store.

"Afternoon shopper.", The ancient centipede monster addressed as politely as his raspy voice would let him.

"Ah, it's you Decemba'. What can I get for yah?", He questioned as he stood to his full height, trying to curb the natural abrasiveness of his voice.

Oh Angel he was wearing the hawaiian shirt with the top three buttons missing again, the old monster's thick, curly and dark chest hair peeking through as a gold cross chain swung from his... "neck."

Dess didn't understand why it made her so uncomfortable, Gerson and Alvin had hair, Deputy Undyne had hair, and they weren't mammal monsters. Perhaps she had some prejudices to address.

"Umm, just a flashlight please, I'm not too picky but preferably a higher end one.", Dess asked politely.

"You gotcha, lemme just find one quick.", Kent answered as he swiveled around, and searched the back shelf dedicated to hand tools. Dess knew it would take him a little while to find one, the old man was blind and most glasses weren't built with a head shape like his in mind.

Dess grimaced with pity as he grumbled after knocking a pair of pliers off the shelf.
Despite his rough exterior, Dess genuinely enjoyed the old man's company and shopping at his store. He had a cool accent, and as the only catholic in town, had a ton of cool religious symbols she'd never seen.

Kent was knowledgeable, genuine and had some great stories of the big cities.

"I got ya, you little rascal!", Kent's declaration broke Dess from her thoughts.

"This sonofabitch has a maximum brightness of 500 lumens and has almost 40 hours of battery life on the standard brightness setting.", The shopkeeper improvised, being unable to read the tiny letters that described the actual product.

Kent stiffened in realization, if Carol found out he'd swore in the vicinity of her daughter, she'd probably personally kick his ass. He knew Carol wouldn't, but that was the norm for Kent... even though he knew he was in a good town.

He'd moved to Hometown so he'd stop getting his ass kicked, he'd moved to Hometown so those in power wouldn't have his ass kicked.

"Didn't mean to swear in front of yah, just excited to have my first customer in a while.

"Nah, it's cool, how much is the flashlight?", Dess answered casually.

"It's $21.99!", Kent's voice relaxed to its usual rasp.

"But it says $27.99 on the tag.", Dess corrected almost instinctually, it felt like stealing from a blind guy, which it technically would be.

"I see why you'd think that, but that's cause these old claws are no good for writing."

Kent's mandibles warped into an attempt at an earnest smile, the row of four small and beady eyes on each side of his head trying their damndest to pick up the slack from his lack of lips.

Despite how unnerving the expression was to anyone other than Dess, she'd talked too him enough to tell he was genuine.

"No worries, I have a similar thing with hooves, finding shoes for them is impossible.", Dess answered sympathetically as she gave him 22 dollars.

Kent gave a nod of understanding.

"Pleasure doin' business with ya! Whatever goofing off the youth of today get up to, I hope it goes well for you.", Kent thanked politely.

"Thanks, see yah around.", Dess responded as she left the convenience store, placing the flashlight in her backpack.

She was kind of impressed the blind old monster

Chapter Text

Dess sat on her bed, her back against her pillow as she spiritlessly plucked at her guitar strings.

Her 'class' was let out of school 45 minutes early, and despite how rare such an opportunity was, any potential excitement or joy was numbed, like she had been through this a million times. Then again, she'd graduated from highschool last year and had signed herself up for tutoring to keep her mind sharp for a semester in January... Oh Angel Azzie had turned her into the biggest fucking nerd ever.

She'd done everything Hometown had to offer, she retraced every step until the grooves had worn into the ground were too deep to traverse.

Dess was leaving for college during the fall, but that was another five months away, and everything moved so slowly in Hometown.

Hometown was amazing, but by the Angel's grace it was so damn boring.

The most action Hometown had in the past three years was her and Kris drawing swear words on the sidewalk.

She'd been so bored she'd sometimes... bend the rules a little.

Her face morphed into a frown at that thought, realizing she'd been kind of an asshole to Mom... But it's not like she was perfect either. Carol's ridiculously strict curfew to compensate for working 60 hours a week and not being at home often, but all it did was irritate Dess and gave her less time with Mom.

It's not like Dess was Carol's little girl either, she turned 19 this Febuary and by all acounts was a legal adult, she shouldn't have to be home by 11:00 for Angel's sake, if she was going out for six plus hours she shouldn't have to explain her plans to Mom or Dad... she'd sat on that topic for a while, but never got around to discussing it. Perhaps she could bring it up when Carol got home.

Dess shook those thoughts away, today was not a good day for a talk like that, there were two very difficult tests at school and the exhaustion of crunch time studying and completing the tests had caught up to her all at once right at the hometime bell.

Her Mom most certainly would not be in the mood for an emotionally draining talk like that either, Carol was in Delta City meeting with the homophobic fuckwad of a govenor, trying to justify her bylaw decriminalizing gay marriage.

"Ughh...", Dess grumbled to herself for wasting precious brainpower on that scumbag.

She continued plucking at the guitar, this time with purpose and hummed the chorus of her one hit wonder, 'Raise Up Your Bat.'

Dess played at a lower tempo, turning the fiery song of resilience into a more reflective and somber tune. It seemed right for moment.

As her attention shifted entirely to the song, and Dess's mind started to clear, her head instinctually bobbed back and forth.

A smile crept across Dess's face as countless memories filtered into her mind as she continued humming the chorus, staying just long enough to make her feel warm and cozy, but not so long as to distract her from playing the song.

Her and Asriel's first 'date' was two years ago writing lyrics for the song by the creek, they held hands and watched the stream babble while brainstorming.

Each time Kris wanted to add a piano solo when practice was at The Dreemurr's.

Noelle's unmatched excitement when Dess woul pick up her guitar, even if she was just moving it, tuning it, or cleaning it.

How embarassed and adorable Asriel was when she wrote that cheesy love song for valentine's day.

Angel that boy was adorable, and easily flustered, at times.

They could be married with two kids and he'd turn crimson at a smooch on the cheek.

As if to prove her wrong, the memory of how Asriel had been the one to initiate their first kiss while on a 'couples' camping trip, flipping the script and leaving her the rambling puddle of embarassment. A slight chuckle escaped Dess as she felt her nose and cheeks grow warm.

"That goober is transmitting his dorkiness to me.", Dess whispered with a dumb grin across her face.

A few seconds later, Dess regained focus, letting more memories in as she resumed humming and strummed her guitar.

How damn proud she and Asriel were once they had finally finished writing their song, how Mom, Dad, The Dreemurrs and everyone in town had given compliments for their hard work.

Satisfaction, that feeling of bliss, being on top of the world returned to Dess as she recalled her debut performance at QC's Diner, how 'shocked' and 'disgusted' Carol looked when she heard the opening lyrics... but by the end of the song was cheering so much louder than everyone else combined.

Everything was so calm, so serene. With her eyes closed like this Dess would inevitably fall asleep, and as much as she wanted that, it was barely three in the afternoon.

She'd probably just have another college dream anyways, they boring.

Dess cracked her neck as she sat up, and hopped off the bed, grabbing her backpack as she placed her guitar at its usual spot in front of the walk in closet.

She brought her backpack to her desk, taking unsusual care to put all of her school books and supplies neatly in a stack. Dess hadn't busted her ass all week just to mess them up.

Dess went to grab her sweater from the doorknob, then hesitated. Her clothes stunk of school, and she was heading out to get away from that.

She unbuckled her belt, pulling it through the belt loops and dropping it on the floor, letting her pants fall as she ambled towards her closet and stepped out of them.

Her jean shorts immediately caught her attention; but the mosquitos would be bad tonight whether it rained or not.

As much as a pair of tights in one of her dressers called to her, she chose the pair of black leggings instead, they looked just as good and the fabric's extra thickness could better deal with the mosquitoes.

Once Dess had put her jean shorts on top of her leggings, she pulled her plaid shirt over her head, struggling slightly as she hadn't cared enough to unbutton it, and haphazardly tossed it on to her bed. All of her attention shifted towards the custom bloodcrushers graphic tee on the hanger.

She had been wearing it excessively, but it was so damn cool to have a shirt with her band logo on the front. She wasted no time in putting the shirt on, Dess grabbed her sweater from her doorknob and slipped into it, but didn't zip it closed or pull the hood up.

It was forecasted to drizzle, and Dess didn't care, some rain wasn't going to stop her from looking cool.

Dess grabbed her baseball bat and put it in her backpack, then put her guitar in the case and strapped it around her shoulder.

As she stepped out of her room, she knew Carol would bitch about her leaving her dirty clothes about instead of putting them away, but that was a problem for future her.

She took care to quietly close her bedroom door behind her, she enjoyed how happy Dad looked whenever she suddenly appeared downstairs.

Each step Dess took down the stairs was careful and measured, she took care so the guitar didn't hit the railing.

"Watcha up to?", Rudy questioned warmly from the couch, noticing Dess as she stepped into the living room.

"I'm heading out for the night, I'll be back by curfew.", Dess responded.

"So, 10 minutes after actual curfew.", Rudy teased.

"Maybe.", Dess responded with an eye roll as she headed to the kitchen, taking two full water bottles from the fridge, and putting them in her backpack, replacing the old one which she put in the sink.

"Any special plans? If you don't mind me asking." Rudy questioned, still lounging on the couch as Dess returned from the kitchen.

"Not really, I'm just gonna walk around town and play my guitar, do a little thinking... see where my thoughts take me. I might do some hiking if the rain isn't too bad."

Dess knew Rudy had a cheesy joke and mild mockery lined up if she told him about her other plan of beating the shit out of some trees with her bat.

"That sounds lovely, although a bit too tame for a free spirit like yourself. Why the change of pace?"

"I've done everything Hometown has to offer so many times over that I'm just out of ideas, it's less about the where, and more about letting my thoughts and the music flow in sync."

She answered unexpectedly quick and confidently, her actual plans were more along the lines of dicking around...

"Good on yah, introspection does wonders for the soul, but why go out if it's potentially gonna rain... when you could do that thinking at home in a cozy ass bed?", Rudy asked genuinely, despite his usual joking tone.

"I'm not really sure, it just feels natural to go out on a Friday night, even if I have nobody to hang with."

Dess responded.

"Then I'd best not keep the lone wolf waiting much longer, I've got plans of my own anyways."

"You've got plans?", Dess chuckled with an eyebrow raise despite her efforts.

"That's no way to speak to your father, young lady. For that transgression I'm not sharing the cookies I'm planning to bake with you."

Rudy responded with faux indignance.

"Love yah too, Dad."

Dess smirked as she shook her head and made her way outside.

"Love yah too, rockstar.", Rudy answered affectionately.

Dess gently closed the front door behind her.

She looked up as she made her way to the front gate

The sky was a calm overcast, even with the dark, foreboding clouds north of town. A consistent breeze brushed against Dess's fur as she opened the obnoxiously large front gate, and pushed it closed with a loud grunt.

As an elected official it made sense for Mom to set up an additional sense of security for their home, but not only was the gate extremely heavy, but it had hurt the family way more than it protected it.

Carol broke her foot when the gate smashed into her shins and crushed her hoof, Dess always felt soreness in her shoulders and back the day after opening and closing it, Rudy had his hand get caught in the gate a few times, and one time poor Noelle was locked out after school because Dad was ill and sickness left him too weak to open it.

Mom had to sprint home in heels from City Hall to open the gate for an extremely distraught Noelle... and she almost got hit by Asriel, who was doing driving practice with his dad.

Hopefully the automized gate Mom had ordered would arrive soon.

Dess headed east, and stopped at the intersection. She had already wasted enough time getting distracted by passing thoughts and memories... but it couldn't hurt to stand there for a few moments and look at the Dreemur house to the north.

She was planning on crashing there for the night, but Asriel was helping Kris with their math homework, and being the colossal nerd he was, had decided to spend the remaining portion of his friday night working ahead in his math textbook. He had also enrolled in voluntary lessons for a semester, just for funsies though.

But that's why she loved him, he was a doer like she was. Carol preferred the terms 'proactive' and goal oriented', but those were snobby, corporate ass buzzwords.

All she wanted was for Asriel to spend a little less time doing homework, and a little more time doing her.

... She had meant.

Doing stuff with her, like hanging out...

Everything went silent, her brain tuned out the world as she processed that thought a second time slowly. Her nose glowed red hot as she pulled her hood tightly around her face and spedwalked across the street, and maintained a conscious effort to not look back.

She continued east half a block, then went south , turning west towards QC's diner.

Luckily by then, her red nose and cheeks had returned to a normal colour. Dess was rather hungry, and while she was capable of making something at home, only a dumbass would not eat out on a friday night.

Plus she had to come up with more things to do as a way to pass the time. Dess opened the door to the diner, the signature ringing of the bell dinged as she entered and made her way to the counter.

The diner was unsurprisingly empty, the supper rush wasn't until 5:30.

"Good afternoon Dess! What can I get for you today?", QC chirped excitedly as she approached the counter.

"I'm not sure, still thinkin'.", She responded cooly.

"No worries! Take your time! What's the occasion? You are the first customer in an hour and a half, and will likely be the only one until five."

"I'm pretty hungry and can't be bothered to cook for myself, it's a friday and I just wanna eat good food without putting in any effort.", Dess answered honestly and plainly.

"I've been there honey, although it is a little harder as the owner of a diner."

QC replied warmly, "Got any cravings?"

"Not really, but I do know what I want. I'd like a beef stew please."

Dess answered politely.

QC flashed a smile, trying to hide the shock on her face, other than the rare occasions Rudy had steak with Asgore here, or when Carol bought chicken wings for City Council, the Holidays were vegetarians, being deer monsters and all.

"Excellent choice honey! A hearty meal is good for the soul. Feel free to take a seat wherever you wish." QC answered warmly as she scribbled onto a notepad and made her way towards the kitchen.

Dess nodded in acknowledgment, and made her way towards the back booth by the window and slid all the way to the end.

She didn't really care much for meat, but Mom and Dad would make some when the Dreemurs came for dinner, and it had been a while since Mom and Dad made stew.

Dess removed her sweater and put it next to her on the bench. Her head swiveled left as QC returned from the back, the kitchen doors swung behind her.

"It's on the house hun.", QC affirmed gently as she placed the mug of hot chocolate onto the table.

"It's no Holiday hot chocolate, but it is made with love.", QC jested lightly.

Dess instincually grabbed her wallet from her sweater pocket, but QC refused before she could open it.

"You have integrity young lady, but your next few drinks are on the house, it's only right I give you something in exchange for your lovely performance last month.

"It was nothin'.", Dess responded casually.

QC couldn't help but stifle a giggle.

"You sounded like your father just now. He was sitting in the same booth and said nearly the same thing back when he and Mr. Dreemurr helped me move all my stuff back in after renovations.

"Well, I should say when Asgore helped me move back in." QC recalled fondly, her eyes a gleeful smile.

Dess raised a brow in surprise, her Dad was a bit of a slouch but he busted his ass daily doing domestic work.

QC caught on and chuckled nostalgically, "Rudy might be a hard worker now, but at your age he was a slacker in almost every way.."

"His help amounted to moving three half full boxes of reserve kitchenware to the storage in the back... as well as putting all the chairs and stools out.", QC explained warmly.

"He left poor Asgore to bring in my two convection ovens, the stainless steel flat top, two refrigerators, two freezers, three countertops, two industrial size dishwashers, six gigantic cabinets, two industrial size food processors, the deep fryer, two microwaves, the three compartment sink and Angel knows how many boxes that held everything else."

"Dess shook her head with a smile, "Damn, that's rough."

"I did feel bad for Asgore, but I didn't mind too much, your Dad realized pretty quickly his mistakes that night and became a better monster for it."

QC answered assuringly, but the silence didn't last long.

"My goodness! As fun as going down memory lane is, I'd best return to the kitchen, the stew alone takes almost hour to cook, and that doesn't include prep time or the side dish."

QC blurted in realisation.

"It was nice chattin', maybe I'll come back tomorrow and make use of those free drinks."

Dess answered cooly as QC spun on her heels and returned to the kitchen.

QC called back, "Alrighty.", her voice as cheerful and pleasant as always.

Dess slouched and her face shifted to a more disinterested expression as the kitchen doors shut, staring at the table with her hands on her chin. It felt good to let the mask slip while alone, just for a little.

That grew boring quick so Dess took some sips of her hot chocolate, and rested her head against the window, scooching her body across the booth so she could lean comfortably.

Dess noticed the dark clouds from the north had made their way directly above Hometown, the sky was a dark, shifting gradient of grays and the grass rustled louder as the winds changed from a breeze to a gust.

The lazy stupor continued as Dess leaned against the windows and took occasional sips of her hot chocolate.

Small patters of rain bounced off the window, slowly growing in volume and rhythm until Dess noticed it as she took another sip of hot chocolate.

The pattering drops of rain entranced Dess as she watched them trickle down the window and onto the pavement.

Some droplets trickled all the way down uninterrupted, some merged and became big drops that rapidly descended the window and took out any smaller drops in their path, while most didn't even hit the window, let alone the diner.

An exhale escaped Dess as she took another sip of hot chocolate and leaned back against the glass.

The pattering grew as the rain began to fall harder, its rhythm slowly mesmerized Dess.

Her eyes drooped slightly, but remained focused, her breathing slowed but remained steady.

Her life felt like the rain, each drop an action she had taken, how they accumulated and related to one another, how some were completely meaningless, how some added up, and then, the rain would either move on, or it would end... sometimes leaving signs of itself for a few minutes, some a few hours.

She didn't want the rain to move on, and she sure as hell wasn't ready for the rain to end. She really hoped the signs of her rain would remain for longer than that.

Dess rubbed her face in disappointment, she had been excited to leave Hometown and explore the world, but now that she realized how little time she had left in the only place she knew, she wasn't sure how ready she was to leave...

She was frustrated at how conflicting and contradictory these thoughts were... if it was one way or the other, it would suck... at least it would be manageable, but feeling both so strongly at the same time... it made her head ache with uncertainty and her soul heavy with nostalgia

Some moisture grew at the corner of her eyes, which only pissed Dess off. Crying about something like this was rather childish... Dess tried to convince herself it was just exhaustion from studying and working so hard at school, but she knew it was a copout... and for fuck's sake it was embarrassing for her to consider crying over this.

Even though she knew she wasn't going to cry, she was a Holiday, and she had to act like it, even thinking about crying in a public diner was not a good look.

...

Where the hell had she picked that up? She'd never been told anything like that, but it felt like an instinct, like an indisputable law of reality.

She wondered where that came from, until realization hit her hard.

That one face Mom and Dad made when they would apologize for normal and harmless things... she was making it too, the reflection in the window stared back it her.

"Oh my fucking Angel...", Dess murmured to herself.

She understood. She understood her parent's unusual quirks after all these years.

Mom was so cold and straightforward because it was expected a leader be strong and professional. She'd faced extensive criticism any time she'd try and spend more than 24 hours away from work, any time she wasn't talking about strength, or integrity or leadership... It's like her usually strong and imposing voice was being ignored and muted.

And when she wasn't able to maintain that mask, she'd bury herself in work to make it look like she was still fulfilling that role, and after being burned out burying herself at work... she'd isolate, so nobody could see the mask had slipped.

She lightly bounced her head of the window, one of her first memories a few months before her 15th birthday was when she found Mom in the basement with an empty wine glass... crying.... it was five am on a Christmas morning, and the fifth year in a row she hadn't been able to make it home in time for the prior nights celebrations...

And when Dess tried to ask if she was ok, Carol had made the excuse she'd bumped her head while getting stuff.

She couldn't believe she'd fell for that too.

Dess actually felt like she was going to cry this time, but forced the tears away.

And why Dad.... why Dad was so lighthearted and upbeat. He was like the town rock, even more than Father Gerson and Alvin. Everyone came to him with their worries and sorrows, knowing he'd keep them safe and make them feel better with his cheerful energy. Dad was way better at maintaining his mask them Mom, but even his would slip on occasion.

His offhand comments to himself about being tired, wanting to take a break, while he was taking a break... How many were there for him the way he was for everyone?

Dess knew she couldn't, even as an adult it wasn't right for her to help in that way, and neither Mom or Dad would want her to put that on herself either...

Was that why they were so much closer with the Dreemurs than everyone else in town? They were the only ones they thought they could let their masks down with?

Dad had Mom and Mr. Asgore, but Mom was in just as deep as he was, and Asgore's role as Chief of Police had forced the two to spend less time together.

Dess wanted to go home and scream at both of them to go get therapy, talk to the priests... that they didn't have to force themselves into those roles, but that was way out of line; and extremely hypocritical.

For Angel's sake her family were the only church goers who didn't have therapeutic talks with Father Gerson or Father Alvin.

A few months before she turned 17, she'd noticed she'd been acting different... She could never explain what it was, but she was starting to understand. She'd started the same cycle as her parents, playing a part...

The rebel girl, the musician, the overachiever...

Was her role in life to satisfy some unspoken law that all Holidays had to exaggerate their personalities and dedicate their energy to everyone but themselves?

The worst part about these cages they'd trapped themselves in were mostly self inflicted... nobody else would give a shit if they took time to themselves, if they let themselves rest. They were just happy to have them around...

All that was required of them was they show up, and they'd acted like they had to carry the entire fucking world.

Noelle wasn't even a teenager and Dess noticed she'd started internalizing it too.

She was the shy girl, the academic genius, the pushover, the doormat. She didn't want her sister to grow up thinking like that.

Not only was it unhealthy, but if she ever left Hometown... someone could manipulate her into....

No. Dess couldn't think that, she and Mom and Dad would never let that happen.

But... Her and Mom were thought they weren't allowed to say yes, while Noelle and Dad thought they weren't allowed to say no.

And how could they stop something they didn't know was happening? Noelle would surpress herself and her struggles the way everyone else in the family did.

Dess was crying, for real. In public, it wasn't a lot of tears, not enough for anyone to notice... but that's what made this so painful, every mistake was caught and scrutinized in HD by her subconscious.

She had to think of anything else or she'd be crying a hell of a lot harder.

Dess returned her focus to the rain, there wasn't much better to do anyways.

The sky was a little lighter despite the rain coming down harder. Perhaps she could find a way to keep crying, even if her face was dry and her eyes were clear.

Dess's chest expanded as she breathed in deeply to calm herself, the rain was steady in its clinking on pavement, windows and roof of the diner.

After a few attempts, Dess had visualized what she wanted, the rain was her fears, her uncertainty, her confliction.

Let it go.

Let it out.

Let it pass.

The rain would pass... it would be peaceful, and when the rain came again Dess had a place in her mind she could seek shelter from the storm.

She thought she really shouldn't have needed to do what she did, but a realization like that, and being powerless to stop it overwhelmed her.

The warm, soothing hot chocolate reminded Dess why she would be alright. On the upside, those thoughts had given Dess one more thing she wanted to do tonight.

A gentle tap on the table went unnoticed by the entranced young adult.

"Dess hon, food is done.", QC said quietly as she tapped the table a little more firmly and placed the bowl of stew in front of Dess, who sat up straight quickly, her surprise evident.

There's no Angel damn way it's been an hour, or that QC had been that close to watching her unravel.

"I was worried you fell asleep, I was planning on eating that stew myself if you didn't wake up."

QC said teasingly as she placed the napkins and utensils on the table.

"Nah, wasn't sleeping. Just really deep in thought while watching the rain.", Dess responded casually, doing her best to stop the mask from forcing its way back on.

"Perhaps I should have given you something to pass the time with. You looked pretty bored. "QC answered with a warm smile.

"It's all good." Dess assured.

"Do you know what isn't good? I completely forgot to bring out the breadrolls, I know how much you Holidays love those as a side dish.", QC said playfully, as she turned and hurried back to the kitchen.

"Just for that show of bad service I'm not tipping.", Dess responded, matching QC's tone.

"You don't tip anyways." QC retorted as she entered the kitchen.

Dess couldn't think of a good comeback. She was too distracted on trying to be genuine.

QC returned, placing the two warm breadrolls on the napkins next to the stew.

"Need anything else?", QC asked sweetly.

"No thanks, this is perfect.", Dess answered politely.

"Alright, then I'd best leave you to eat, I've got some prep to do for the supper rush."

QC explained as she returned to the kitchen.

Dess tore the breadroll in half and dipped it in the stew, soaking up some gravy. Angel damn was the gravy soaked breadroll delicious.

She stabbed her fork into the stew, skewering a mushroom, some carrots and a piece of potato, the vegetables had a perfect texture, soft and chewy after being slowcooked in gravy.

She took another bite, this time her fork caught a large piece of potato and chunk of beef.

The warmth, the spices, how it melted in her mouth, all it of was perfect.

As much as Dess wanted to savour the flavour of each bite, she was hungry as hell.

She was patient enough to wait for the stew to cool a little more, but after it had cooled enough, she couldn't help but pig out, shoveling peices into her mouth like someone might snatch it away any second.

Dess gave a hum of satisfaction as she shoveled the last bite of stew into her mouth, knowing damn well how stuffed she was going to be from this.

She slouched back in the booth, putting her arms behind her head as she let her meal settle.

QC returned to the front of the diner a few minutes later to check on her customer, to her surprise, Dess had already emptied her bowl.

"My word girl! Do they forbid you to eat af home? That was enough stew for two or three people to share!", QC exclaimed in genuine shock.

Dess just grinned smugly, "The stew was too good, I couldn't help it, one bite led to another and I was more focused on eating than breathing."

"At least you enjoyed it, but I'm more impressed that you actually tasted anything.", QC responded with her usual homely smile.

Dess was too full to respond.

"Mind if I stay for a bit and let my magic digest this?", she questioned drowsily as she sunk further into the booth.

"I suppose so, let me grab you the bill." QC smiled as she went behind the counter.

Dess lazily reached out as QC put it in her hand.

"60 bucks? Did you raise your prices?", Dess questioned uncertainly.

"I apologize, I forgot to inform you of the 20 dollar lounging fee.", QC answered with a wink.

"I guess that makes sense.", Responded Dess as she grabbed her wallet from her pocket and mistakenly handed three 20 dollar bills and a ten dollar bill, as a tip.

QC took only took two of the twenties, but Dess insisted she keep the 10.

"And keep the change.", Dess added, as she put one of the twenties back.

"Thanks a ton, hon!", QC graciously expressed her gratitude . She hadn't been serious in her comment about Dess not tipling.
____________________________________

It was just after four or so when Dess was ready to leave. She put on her sweater and made her way to the door, giving a wave to QC as she left.

"Bye!"

"Cya, hon! Come back soon!"

Dess stepped out into the cool rain, for being a little after 4:30, it was quite dark due to the overcast.

If she was going to be out all night, especially if she was planning on going into the forest, she'd need a flashlight... which of course she didn't bring because this entire night was a spur of the moment idea. At least the convenience store was just across the street east from the diner.

Dess jogged across the street and entered the convenience store.

"Afternoon shopper.", The ancient centipede monster addressed as politely as his raspy voice would let him.

"Ah, it's you Decemba'. What can I get for yah?", He questioned as he stood to his full height, trying to curb the natural abrasiveness of his voice.

Oh Angel he was wearing the hawaiian shirt with the top three buttons missing again, the old monster's thick, curly and dark chest hair peeking through as a gold cross chain swung from his... "neck."

Dess didn't understand why it made her so uncomfortable, Gerson and Alvin had hair, Deputy Undyne had hair, and they weren't mammal monsters.

"Umm, just a flashlight please, I'm not too picky but preferably a higher end one.", Dess asked politely.

"You gotcha, lemme just find one quick.", Kent answered as he swiveled around, and searched the back shelf dedicated to hand tools. Dess knew it would take him a little while to find one, the old man was blind and most glasses weren't built with a head shape like his in mind.

Dess grimaced with pity as he grumbled after knocking a pair of pliers off the shelf.
Despite his rough exterior, Dess genuinely enjoyed the old man's company and shopping at his store. He had a cool accent, and as the only catholic in town, had a ton of cool religious symbols she'd never seen.
He was knowledgeable, genuine and had some great stories of the big cities.

"I got ya, you little rascal!", Kent's declaration broke Dess from her reverie.

"This sonofabitch has a maximum brightness of 500 lumens and has almost 40 hours of battery life on the standard brightness setting.", The shopkeeper improvised, being unable to read the tiny letters that described the actual product.

Kent stiffened in realization, if Carol found out he'd swore in the vicinity of her daughter, she'd probably personally kick his ass. He knew Carol wouldn't, but that was the norm for him.

He'd moved to Hometown so he'd stop getting his ass kicked, he'd moved to Hometown so those in power wouldn't have ass kicked.

"Didn't mean to swear in front of yah, just excited to have my first customer in a while.

"Nah, it's cool, how much is the flashlight?", Dess answered unbothered.

"It's $21.99!", Kent's voice relaxed to its usual rasp.

"But it says $27.99 on the tag.", Dess corrected almost instinctually, it felt like stealing from a blind guy, which it technically would be.

"I see why you'd think that, but that's cause these old claws are no good for writing with a lot of traditional pencils." 

Kent's mandibles warped into an attempt at an earnest smile, the row of four small and beady eyes on each side of his head trying their damndest to pick up the slack from his lack of lips.

Despite how unnerving the expression was to others, Dess saw past that and could tell he was genuine.

"No worries, I have a similar thing with hooves, finding shoes for them is impossible.", Dess answered sympathetically as she gave him 22 dollars.

Kent gave a nod of understanding.

"Pleasure doin' business with ya! Whatever goofing off the youth of today get up to, I hope it goes well for you.", Kent thanked politely.

"Thanks, see yah around.", Dess responded as she left the convenience store, placing the flashlight in her backpack.

Dess was kind of impressed the blind old monster could tell her plans from just the tone of her voice. Maybe she was getting predictable, like the rest of town.

The rain was still going steady but was lighter, making the walk to the cemetery relatively easy.

Dess sat on the soaked bench, pulling her guitar off her shoulder and opening the case, she didn't give a damn if her ass got wet, she was wearing black and heading out to the woods eventually anyways.

Dess couldn't understand why she had thought of this while at the diner, but it seemed right, she was doing it for herself, the cemetary just seemed like the perfect place for reflection, she'd be alone and could take off her mask...

Dess plucked and fiddled with the strings of the guitar until she was satisfied with the tune, she wasn't very religious but it only seemed appropriate to play those church songs and hymns at a place like this.

The first that came to her mind was the one Rudy sang to her and now Noelle when they struggled sleeping, she had even borrowed inspiration from the song for the chorus of Raise Up Your Bat.

Dess cleared her throat, trying to suppress the roughness her voice had inherited from Dad, who somehow aced the song each time he sung it.

"When the light is running low."

"And the shadows start to grow."

"And the places that you know..."

"Seem like fantaaasy."

"There's a light inside your soul, that's still shining in the cold."

"With the truth, the promise in ourrr hearrtss."

"Don't forget."

"I'm with you in the daarrrrkkk."

Despite knocking the tabs she memorized for the piece out of the park, Dess couldn't help but cringe at parts of her singing being off-key. She had came here to be less harsh on herself... not a great start.

She shouldn't feel too bad, Dess would need a few warm ups before getting it right anyways.

She'd have to remember to bring up practicing it with the choirboy on their next date or hang out session.

Another hymn came to mind, it was one of Alvin Boom's she'd saw in the trash while messing around at the Church with Azzie.

It was a fucking banger, but he'd tossed it.... mumbling something about it not being good enough.... his father's legacy was a heavy one to carry, and old man Gerson was still kicking.

She understood him on a spiritual level, as a child of a well respected parent, the pressure put on you by others, and especially by yourself was heavy, often heavier than the ones of the parent in the case of Dess and Alvin. 

So she'd decided to hold onto it.

Dess didn't even need to clear her voice in preparation for this one, she'd been practicing it constantly in secret.

(To the tune of darkness falls.)

"Holy Angel, I've gone numb."

"Just feel like giving up."

"Waiting for your kingdom come."

*Instrumental*

"Holy Angel can't you see?"

"This pain that burns in me?"

"That makes it hard to speak...."

"Here I stand shining so brightly... among the rows of the fallen."

"Wondering."

"Wondering.."

"Have I truly lived..?"

*Music*

"Ohhh-hhHoly Angel."

"Please give me a sign."

"That I've lived."

"A life that's full of hooope!"

Even in the rain Dess could feel the tears streaking down her cheeks. The song felt like it was custom made for her since she'd begun her contemplation this afternoon.

But they weren't strictly sorrowful tears, some were happy tears , tears of accomplishment, of relief. Warmness tinged her soul for singing every note flawlessly.

Dess sung through the hymn a few more times.

As good as it was, the song was quite the downer, luckily for Dess she knew just the song to lift her spirits.

Gerson, Toriel, Asgore and Dad liked singing this song during mass, and they were pretty good, even Mr. Asgore, and he sucked ass at singing.

Dess tuned her guitar until satisfied. She hadn't intended on picking up the lyrics to this song, but it was sung so frequently by Azzie and Mrs. Toriel it became an earworm for her.

(to the tune of friendship)

In the dark and the cold."

When I feel so alone."

"In my heart I shall know, I am loved truly."

"When my time comes to pass! Use my moments last!"

"I'll hold my head up to the sky!"

"For my love, warmed up the coldest nights!"

"When I stumble and fall! Through the darkness I'll call! Those I love will all! Mend worries and pain!"

When darkness contends! Against a foe or a friend! A helping hand I'll always lend.

*instrumental*

For the world will not end! If the Angel won't mend! All the hate and the pain! Life is not a game! That can be reset! That can be undone!

So make the most of your stay, a single choice can change the day!

*music*

Dess focused so intently on nailing the tabs, she hadn't realized she had stopped singing.

Once Dess completed the song, a voice called out, Dess stiffened in shock, she'd forgot Gerson showed up here around here.

"Heavens to betsy, December! That's the best rendition I've ever heard of that song!"

Gerson beamed proudly, his slight Irish accent always grew stronger when he was particularly elated. 

"But I didn't even sing all the lyrics and I changed a couple of them.", Dess answered unconfidently.

Gerson hobbled up to the bench, taking a seat next to the young woman.

"Nothing wrong with adding to or changing the old classics, I sure didn't pull all my writings from thin air, I took stuff I liked and made it my own." He added supportively.

"Especially the game metaphor you added, that was brilliant!" Gerson made his compliment more specific.

"Thank's.", Dess said less awkwardly.

"But I pick up what you're putting down.", Dess responded confidently.

"Good lass."

"It seems my fortune is looking up seeing you here today."

"Why's that?" Dess asked quizzically.

"Feel comfortable chatting with me?", Father Gerson asked in casual fashion.

"I.... what's the occasion? If you don't mind me asking.", Dess responded, trying to avoid the question.

Fuck, she was doing the exact opposite of what she came here for.

"It's been a while since you've been around to church, your missin' out on some important life lessons I want to stick with ya'."

"You're going to college, I'm going to a casket, it's a busy, confusing and stressful new part of our lives. And there's none better than this old coot when it comes to the maze that is life."

Dess couldn't help but chuckle at the old man's dark joke.

"I think I'd like to, but what do I even say?"

Gerson scratched his beard.

"Whatever's on your mind."

"I'm doing great though." Dess lied, her mask, her facade instinctual... even with her doing everything she could to tear it off.

"There's no need to lie young lady, I'm no expert on punk culture or whatever you're in, but I'm pretty sure singing religious songs at a cemetery ain't part of it. That's something I've done for the past 40 years." Gerson pressed, his voice still kind and assuring.

"Are you a psychic or something? Did you know I was here and came to talk?", Dess asked jokingly, hoping humour could get her to let down the mask.

Gerson laughed heartily, "Our meeting here was pure circumstance, me figuring out something was up... that's old fashioned wisdom."

"I was young too, I recognize what yer going through, my circumstances were a little different, but the same intent in my actions was there."

Gerson's affirmation did make Dess feel better, she conceded and let down her mask. "Damn old man, yah got me redhanded. ...I'd love to talk, but, you don't plan on blabbing do you?"

Gerson shuck his head firmly.

"No ma'am, I promise on my good eye."

Gerson leaned towards Dess and pulled his eyelids back as a form of proof.

Dess couldn't help but snicker, Old Man Gerson was just too damn charismatic.

"But to be serious.", Gerson assured.

"This conversation is just us, everything stays confidential, I offer no judgement, no shame, or mockery. I won't reprimand you for cussin' either. Though if you say something ignorant, I'll call you out, but I doubt you'll say anything like that."

Dess hesitated, the mature adult part of her self desperately wanted open up to someone like Father Gerson, someone with unmatched expertise and wisdom to help her through her worries. She felt safe and understood with the old preacher, she knew he was doing this out of genuine care.

But her angsty teen self wanted to keep her mouth shut, these pains and secrets were hers alone to conquer. She shouldn't be blabbing them to one of the most influential monsters in town. Dess would rather suffer immensely under the mask, then be vulnerable and free herself from its weight.

"I get yah, if you aren't comfortable, that's alright too. Sometimes we say more with our expressions and body language then we do with our words."

Gerson assured softly.

"I do have a few things I'd like to discuss..."

Dess spoke up boldly, making the old turtle monster smile warmly.

"We don't have to go right to the big worries, we can start small, even the worries that might seem a little silly at first glance."

"All I've really got are bigger worries.", Dess answered glumly.

Gerson gave a sympethetic look, "That's alright missy, it's a big time in your life, for the first time, the world truly opens up. And all those choices can be damn overwhelming."

It was too soon to speak about the mask, but as Gerson said, there was no reason to jump into the deep end.

"I wish Carol, I mean my Mom, would give me more independence, I feel like I'm on parole with her rules. My curfew is 10:30, 11:00 on weekends... if I'm out for six hours or longer I have to give a rough list of what I'm doing and where I'm going."

Dess sighed with exasperation.

"I'm going to college in the summer, is she going to drive out there every day and get my schedule or something?"

"Aye, it's not fair she try and clip your wings like that. Have you tried bringing it up with her? If you haven't, do you feel comfortable bringing it up with her?"

"I feel comfortable bringing it up to her, but I haven't, or I should say I haven't successfully.

"Anytime I try I either say nothing, or start a bullshit argument. It's like... I've got to act annoying to pay her back for inconveniencing me."

"I see, you're communicating your needs in an unhealthy manner.", Gerson explained calmly.

"We've always gotten along well, but the occasional arguments started and became more frequent when I was 15 or so."

"She tried to enforce overly strict rules, and you became frustrated and acted out."

"That's... a good way to put it." Dess answered.

"It seems you and your Mother have a self fulfilling prophecy. Of course I'd expect more of your Mother, the dynamics are skewed in her favour as your parent."

"Then what the hell do I do?", Dess asked bluntly.

"Find something that soothes you to ground yourself, before or during a discussion. Even if you are angry, you won't get anywhere by trying to 'pay her back.'

"We know she's willing to hear you out, even if she isn't the best at bein' available."

Gerson answered kindly., "I can even help yah practice, even though I'm not your Mother... I do have a power dynamic over you as one of the most respected and influential monsters in town.... not to toot my own horn.", the old man's quip made Dess giggle.

"You mind practicing saying no to me?", Gerson questioned.

"I can do that, hit me with your bullshit demands.", Dess spoke boldly.

Gerson nodded and scratched his beard, then he stared ahead, and watched the rain.

Dess was confused, after a few seconds Gerson turned to look at her, and as he opened his mouth to speak... suddenly reached out and flicked her across the ear.

On instinct, Dess slapped Gerson across the face, it was not hard, but much harder than intended. Dess quickly spoke with a raised voice.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, you jackass!"

As soon as the words came out, Dess pulled her hand to her chest, as though the ancient turtle monster was physically capable of hurting her in retaliation.

"I'm so sorry! I-I didn't mean that!", Dess stammered apologetically, the hand she slapped Gerson with trembled uncontrollably.

"There, there missy, it's alright. I was tryna agitate yah there, to try and simulate that impulsive fire you get before a discussion or disagreement."

Gerson soothed, informing Dess of his intentions., "Plus, even when holding back, you've got a hell of a slap!", Gerson laughed alongside the compliment.

"Thanks...", Dess answered timidly.

"You've got fire, you've got passion, you've got guts to stand up to authority, for yourself or someone else, and that's incredible, few could honestly do what you did there."

Gerson paused.

"But do you know what happens when that sense of justice jumps the gun? Gets overemotional? Tries to get even? As opposed to trying to make amends or get what's owed?", Gerson asked, trailing his words off for an answer.

"Ummm, I slapped you across the face?", Dess responded uncertainly.

"In the right ball park, but a little less literal."

Dess looked down, fiddling her hands in her lap, trying to think of an answer.

"This discussion isn't about me missy, think about when you raised your hand, what were the first thoughts or feelings that came to mind?", Gerson encouragingly guided Dess with the question.

Dess recalled the fear, the regret, the self loathing that drowned out any anger she had as soon as she slapped Gerson. Her mind spun until she hesitantly whispered, "Both of us got hurt?"

"My hearing has gone with my age, you'll have to speak up missy.", Gerson politely asked her to repeat herself.

"We both got hurt.", Dess responded confidently.

A big smile formed on the old turtle's face.

"You knocked it out of the park young lady! We both get hurt!", Gerson cheered, not too loudly, but enough to show his elation. His voice returned to normal volume as he continued.

"Both of us got hurt, nobody learned anything, there wasn't a mutual understanding, neither party expressed their concerns or their wants."

"I get it now, but that slap was an instant reaction, how do I stop something like that?"

Gerson stroked his beard contemplatively.

"I'd say practice, the more you do it, even if it's an easier version of something, you'll still gain proficiency."

"Let's do another go, but we'll make it a little more believable, close your eyes and pretend yer at home, either you or your Mother have initiated a discussion."

"How?", Dess mumbled unsurely.

"Spend more time thinking and less time yapping young lady.", Gerson recommended playfully.

"Imagine you've already begun the discussion and you're really ticked off, you can't run away, all you can do is act.", Gerson gave Dess more to work with.

A smile crept across his face when she didn't respond, now he needed to work his magic, with his best firm Mother voice he could muster... Gerson commanded, "You're curfew is at so and so, my house, my rules."

Dess's lip quivered and her hands trembled like she was going to yell, but she didn't. Gerson was so proud of her, and hated he couldn't congratulate her in the moment.

"Mom, I get it, you want to look out for me, but I'm an adult, please let me make... make.."

Dess stopped and opened her eyes as her visualization ended. Gerson was looking at her, his face full of pride.

"That was excellent!", Everything felt real, and you still kept your cool.", Gerson praised warmly.

"Yeah, but my words, I didn't say the right things.", Dess protested the compliment.

"That's alright, it wasn't about what you said, but how you said it. You were polite, but still firm. You're still a few steps before getting to what yer going to say anyways."

"It's a about regulating that energy into something productive."

Gerson nodded at the young lady's astute observation.

"You've made incredible progress Ms. December. If you don't mind, we could continue these conversations on a weekly basis, every Friday. It could be here, it could be at Church, but it'll be somewhere private, just us, no passerby to accidentally tune in.

"That sounds lovely." Dess said with less hesitation then expected.

"Do you think now is a good time to end our talk?"

"Yeah, not sure if I have much more in me to talk about heavy stuff like this.", Dess responded casually.

"Think you'll be alright if I head back soon?"

"I'll be good.", Dess answered convincingly.

Gerson smiled, "Sorry for the barrage of questions missy, but mind if I sing a song? You can join in if yah want, you're damn skilled with that guitar, but if not, I'm fine performing solo."

Dess giggled and gave a genuine smile, "Like hell I'm missing a chance to sing duet with the Hammer of Justice."

"That's the spirit missy! How about we sing a classic, Don't Forget."

"That'll work." Dess answered quickly. It'd be a chance to redeem herself for her previous performance.

Gerson gave her an assuring look, and put his hand on her shoulder, its all right if it isn't flawless on your first go, and theres no shame if you have to change the words around for it to make more sense to yah."

Dess realized she hadn't been paying attention to her guitar, as Gerson handed it to her from beside him.

"I made sure you didn't drop it, that guitar's too gorgeous to get dirty."

"You ready to sing from the heart missy?

Dess nodded boldly.

Gerson's voice was still rather quiet, but was full of energy.

"I'm gonna sing it again from the top right afterwords, if you just want to add instrumentals, that's great, and if you feel brave enough to join in, do so whenever you wish.

Gerson counted down from five to let Dess know when to begin playing if she wanted.

Dess plucked her guitar strings softly.

"When the light is running low."

"And the shadows start to grow."

"Aand the places that you know..."

"Seem like faantaasssy."

"There's a light inside your soul, that's still shining in the cold."

"With the truth, the promise in our hearts."

"Don't forget."

"I'm with you in the daaarrrrrkk."

Dess felt a surge of bravery fill her just before Gerson began his reprise.

"When the light is running is low."
"When the light is running is low."

"And the shadows start to grow."
"And the shadows start to grow."

"Aand the places that you know..."
"Aand the places that you know..."

"Seem like faantaasssy."
"Seem like faantaasssy."

"There's a light inside your soul, that's still shining in the cold."
"There's a light inside your soul, that's still shining in the cold."

"With the truth, the promise in our hearts."
"With the truth, the promise in our hearts."

"Don't forget."
"Don't forget."

"I'm with you in the daaaarrrrkk."
"I'm with you in the daaaarrrrkk."

Both let the silence sit for just a few moments.

Dess's grin stretched from ear to ear, she was proud of how well her and Gerson sang in unison.

Gerson smiled proudly at the young woman for her display of skill with both her singing her guitar, but most importantly her bravery for opening up.

"That was beyond incredible!", Gerson congratulated Dess with a boisterous chuckle of approval.

"But I'd best be going, this old turtle gets to bed by 8:00, my watch says it's just after 5:00 and I've got quite a few more errands to run."

"Bye Mr. Gerson.", Dess waved to him as the old man ambled away.

"See you next Friday missy, sooner if you need something.", He turned back with a wave of his own.

As Gerson exited the cemetary, Dess began trembling. She had built up a ton of nervous energy from all that vulnerability, and talking about heavy topics.

But there were still hours ahead, there was more than enough time to calm down naturally.

Dess knew the perfect spot for a hike to burn it off.

Chapter Text

Dess stood in the clearing, she stared intently at the bunker, it had always been a part of Hometown, but nobody ever talked about it.

Dess hadn't intended on spending so much time looking at the bunker. Her plan was to go for a hike south the trails in that area were difficult and it would be a great way for Dess to get rid of her nervous energy... but the forest was so fucking dense she wouldn't have been able to get in through with a chainsaw, let alone a wooden bat.

Dess sat on the hill opposite side of the bunker. An extremely stupid idea entered her head, it wasn't the first time either, but at least the first time around she had the excuse of being drunk.

Dess quickly pulled a water bottle out of her backpack and drank from it in an attempt to wash away the memories of how disgusting the two bottles of Carol's vodka she 'borrowed' had been.

Whoever had decided to pretend alcohol tasted good in books and movies deserved to have their shins caved in.

It was relatively fresh in her mind, being only two years ago.

Dess had drunkenly tried breaking down the bunker door with a a rock and a stick she found in the clearing. Dess was beyond lucky Asgore was on patrol and picked her up, letting her crash and clean up at the Dreemurr place for the night... he promised he would keep her escapade a secret if she never used alcohol irresponsibly again.

Dess gladly accepted, and both had upheld their parts of the promise.

Once the water finally washed away the taste of alcohol from her mind and body, Dess's focus returned to the bunker.

Dess wasn't sure why she was so interested in the bunker, it wasn't even the reason she came to the clearing... not only that, but she was sober and knew better... it was the only mystery left about this town though.

So clouded and forgotten that it had been there her entire life and she had treated it as just another part of the scenery.

And what was the worst that could happen? It was a bunker, it's not like she was going into an active warzone... she'd see some rats and maybe monster dust, which wasn't great... but it's not like she was going to unleash the Dark Angel, or the AntiChrist or something by dicking around in an old fallout shelter.

Although if Dess was really planning on doing this , she'd need a contingency. Something to hold the door open in case she decided to wimp out and had to make a quick escape, or if the door automatically shut behind her and locked her in.

Dess noticed a big fallen tree at the edge of the clearing she could use to hold the door open.

Dess sauntered across the clearing, and squatted in front of the tree, wedging her hands underneath it.

With a grunt, she started dragging it backwards, making it 10 feet before she dropped it, cursing under her breath.

"Holy shit, that thing is heavy..."

"It's perfect, but damn this might be overkill."

She lifted up again, and continued dragging it towards the door, her arms gave out as she dropped it right in front of the bunker.

Dess needed to catch her breath, if anything that tree made for a hell of a workout and had been a... 'productive' use of her jittery energy.

Now she needed a way to get into the bunker... she could go back to town and snag something to pick the lock, or she could beat the ever living shit out of it with her bat.

Dess knew which one sparked more joy, she grabbed her bat and took a stance, letting her baseball skills pull her into a state of focus. Plus the lock looked rusted to hell and back, it probably didn't have much give anyways.

She was the best hitter in all of Hometown, regardless of age and gender.

Ok... that wasn't impressive at all, two of the towns most athletically gifted monsters, Asgore and Deputy Undyne couldn't hit the ball if it was on a tee for Angel's sake... But she was at least a top 5 hitter in a 250 mile radius.

But that included the capital with 700,000 people, and a very rich baseball scene.

Delta City, was the proving grounds where tons of her favourite players like Vinny Monstari, Jackub 'Jack' Antonowicz, Pedro López Beltran and even 'The Lion' Abbas Aziz had extensive minor league careers. There was probably an eight year old kid on every other block who would make her look like a complete chump.

Dess was very good, but by no means a prodigy, she shouldn't be comparing herself to folks who had access to every resource available. Dess shrunk her range to be a tad fairer.

Dess Holiday was the best hitter in 210 miles by default because the majority of those towns and cities mainly played hockey or football.

Perhaps she got a little too focused on the baseball and the skills, instead of baseball skills...

Dess fixed her stance and glared at the lock with a fiery determination, she didn't even need to do practice swings.

BAM! Dess battered the lock with everything she had, it jiggled violently but held firm.

The impact of wood on metal and then metal on metal was deafening, but at least it didn't echo thanks to the dense trees, or that would be a hell of a noise complaint, a hefty fine, and Mom tearing her a new one so severely she'd have to crawl for the next month.

Dess swung a second time, but instead of following through, she pulled back and bashed the lock again, and followed through on the second swing.

BAM. BAM!

Dess sat her bat down and yanked on the lock, it got stuck several times, but she felt it loosen.

Dess picked up her bat again and bashed the lock a fourth time.

BAM!

The lock jolted, and rested cockeyed. It looked basically opened, and as much as Dess wanted to keep beating the shit out of it, it was best she didn't make more noise or damage it any further to avoid drawing suspicion.

Dess sheepishly pulled the lock from its latch and dropped it on the damp grass.

Bashing the lock was fun, but Angel it was a new low of immaturity for her. She was headed to college in half a year and she was acting like a 13 year old.

But maybe that's what she needed.

It was probably one of her last chances to let her spirit and imagination roam free and let her partake in dumb, impulsive shit that was harmless, perhaps quite annoying... but harmless.

Dess had no plans on drinking and partying at college, the occasional blunt or edible was fine. So one off time like an obnoxious goober for three hours or so was nothing.

She'd dick around in the bunker, maybe get twenty, thirty feet in, then chicken out and laugh like a kid who stole a cookie from the cookie jar.

Dess pulled the left bunker door open, and leaned in with her back to hold it in place. She leaned forward and awkwardly pulled the tree forward with a laboured exhale, her back pushing the bunker door open as she moved the tree into position.

The fallen tree was pushed up against the door, Dess slowly stepped over the tree and out of the way to see if it would hold.

"Thank the Angel's grace.", Dess mumbled as the tree held the door open with minimal effort.

Dess picked up her backpack from the side of the hill, but wasn't sure what to do with her guitar.

After some deliberation she decided to just leave it there, she'd be back in 5 minutes tops, and who was going to steal it? No people or animals ever came around to this clearing.

The cold from the bunker passed through Dess as she stands at the entrance.

Dess zipped her sweater closed and pulled her flashlight out, turning it to the highest brightness.

She could make out concrete walls and stairs going downwards. Dess hesitantly crept inside the bunker, she descended each step at a time, ready to explode with a burst of energy and run out of there at any sign of danger.

Dess found the fear and adrenaline exhilarating, she always had, but this felt like a bit too much...

She was halfway down the stairs, she could see the bottom, it was more concrete, leading straight ahead down a hallway of more concrete.

Dess decided she'd done enough thrill seeking for the night and turned around.

The door slammed shut, the fallen tree crunched and split from the force of it, sending wood chips down the stairs at her.

Dess stared at what had happened for half a second, then she bolted up the stairs and smashed the door with her fists as hard as she could.

"Angel's fucking grace! What the fuck was that?" Dess cursed angrily.

"Hey! Someone help please!", She shouted pointlessly, knowing nobody could hear her
cries.

Something crumbling and rattling behind her grabbed Dess's attention.

The pavement crumbled beneath her feet.

Dess's heart was in her stomach as the floor fully collapsed and she fell into the depths of the bunker.

Her yells silenced by the sheer mass of the darkness as it consumed her.

"Ughhhhh... where... the hell am I?", Dess groaned to herself as she came to.

She was laying on cold, firm ground, but it was softer than the concrete of the bunker.

Shit... was she hurt? How long had she been out for?

*Dess CHECKED herself for injuries.

Where the fuck did that voice come from? And how did it know her name?

An odd light appeared before her, full of... information about herself...

December (Dess) Holiday
LV1: Rebellious teen with a fiery passion
HP: 420/420 (nice)
Attack: 36
Defense: 21
Magic: 1
Rules Broken: 12
Weapon Equipped: Spiked Bat
Armour Equipped: Leather Jacket

It shared striking resembalance to the Dragon Blazers 2 stat sheet...

Her base stats were extremely average, by DB2 standards... except her base attack was decent after she calculated the bonus attack the bat gave her.

Dess didn't have reason to trust these numbers... but what the hell else did she have to go off?

What the fuck had happened during the fall? Had Dess bashed her head in? Maybe she hadn't even entered the bunker, maybe she was napping outside... moving the massive tree had tired her out a ton.

It made more sense than being in an alternate fucking dimension that ran on video game logic.

Dess stood up, she grabbed her backpack from beside her.

Maybe it was a weird lucid dream and she'd have to do random stuff to pass the time and wait it out. Dess cracked her neck and back as she looked at the grey, stony cliffs that towered above, darted with odd black markings... as well as odd black splotches that were stained into its surface.

Wanting no part in any of whatever that was, Dess burst to a fast jog, her hoofs clunking against the soft stone.

Dess noticed the cliffs ahead had creepy, black eyes that peirced her soul, she increased her pace from a jog to a desperate sprint in an attempt to outrun the gaze of all the eyes glaring at her.

If there was a place where some creature would hop out and rip her head off, it would be here.

She slowed a little to weave between piles of dust that littered the ground, no matter how much Dess ran, the eyes still stared at her harshly.

Dess skidded to a stop, the path forward was blocked off by a massive cliffside, covered in more eyes.

Despite being alone, Dess felt like she was being chased from every angle. She spun her head around rapidly to make sure she wasn't missing something lurking...

Dess noticed there was another path, a dirt hill. She'd have to slide down it.

Dess landed roughly at the bottom, but used the momentum to stumble to her feet.

She dusted herself off and continued forward, the terrain flattened out into a black void.

Dess did a double take, she couldn't believe what she was seeing in front of her, the levelled remains of a massive building.

She hesitated, looking back. The eyes on the massive cliffs stared her down even harder, in comparison the leveled building looked cozy.

Dess uncertainly shuffled towards the remains of the structure, a white notebook on the ground caught her attention near where the front steps would have been.

She picked it up, all the pages except for the last few were damaged beyond recognition. Dess read the stained and dusty pages to herself,

"In my final moments, before I stand before the Angel... killed by hands of the abomination I made in another life... I must apologize to my closest friend, and lab asistant...

I am sorry. I am so, so sorry I put such a heavy weight on you. You were a kind, innocent soul... and you didn't deserve to carry my burdens. You were my only companion... I hope you can forgive me. Despite how many turmoils these past 30 years had... I am glad you were by my side the entire time. Best regards, your friend and colleague, for our 30 years."

Dr. WD"

Dess, dropped the note, she'd rather not think of it until she found another clue to give more information.

As she walked along the perimeter of the rubble, a light ahead caught her attention.

She headed towards it cautiously, as she got a little closer, it was a massive pillar of black energy, rumbling intently.

"How the hell was there light coming off that thing?" Dess mumbled to herself.

The big pillar of energy seemed like a pretty big clue, she'd best go that way even if it scared her.

The rubble of the massive building was swallwed by darknes as Dess marched forwards.

Dess felt her self shiver, it was colder the closer she got to the pillar somehow...

Then Dess felt a coldness she'd never felt, it froze her in place.

A bulky, malformed, dark grey hand with thick grubby fingers blitzed from the darkness and attempted to grab her by the neck... Dess's instincts made her dive out of the way before it could grab her. She hopped to her feet in case she needed to dodge another.

Dess expected it to turn around and try again, but it just kept mindlessly going forward.

Dess felt similar chill by her legs, but she wasn't able to process it as two hands, as cold as death grasped Dess by the ankles. She yelped in fear and kicked them off.

Her scream echoed back to her through the darkness, but it was raspy... and weak, like a warped imitation.

Dess felt her heart beating in her ears, even though she was certain it had sank well into her stomach.

She shakily found a fighting position, and pulled her bat from her backpack.

"Who-who t-t-the HELL did that?"

"Show your self, y-you sick fucking c-coward!", Dess stuttered, her threat toothless and impotent.

A figure slowly emerged from the void, its stubby, legless and malformed body looked larger than it truly was due to its sharp, angled shoulders and broad head. Some parts of the husk were just bone, other parts of it were covered in muscle but lacked skin, like its chest... it had no arms, only two hovering hands at its side that it could seemingly move independently of the creature. The abomination was what appeared to be in a state of perpetual melting.

Dess could see condensation in the air from the creature's ragged exhales, as though the world surrounding it was chilled by its presence.

The only part of the husk with skin was the creature's diamond shaped head, which drooped downwards.

An odd, pulsating light peeked from between the husk's ribcage, she felt it's intense energy lock in on her like it was... staring... or tracking her....

It was like the lone semblance of warmth in the cold mass of flesh loosely held together by sheer will...

It was so dark, and the creature was too malformed for Dess to properly make out its true appearance.

Dess could feel her heart pumping rapidly out of her chest, but she couldn't hear it, despite her entire body tensing with each rapid thump.

Dess gasped desperately for air, as though she was sprinting... But her body refused to do anything.

'This can't be real, this can't be real, this isn't real!', Dess hopelessly tried to convince herself. And as though it could read her thoughts, the figure's head trembled, then snapped upwards with a crunch.

It didn't have any eyes, any features... just a jagged black grin, a mouth with sharp teeth that mimicked a sadistic smile.

It descended and hovered forward, stopping just above the ground, 20 feet in front of Dess... her brain continuously commanded her body run or fight, but it still refused; frozen in terror.

w̵̉ͅh̸̺̫̚å̶̤͇t̶̗̎.̵̻̃.̵̜̞̏́.̸̧́̇.̷̤͌ą̴͐̑r̶͓̀͛e̵̙̒.̷͈̒.̷̧͔̿̈́.̴̗̺́.̴̨̪͛̑.̷̙͙̿̾.̷̬͇̈́ỹ̵̮̹o̶̳̩̅u̸̯̣͑̋?̷̙̎̀

(What....are......you?)

A sick and raspy voice echoed from the creature, but its mouth didn't move.

The voice was coming from the mass of light tucked within its ribcage. The abomination continued, it could approximate its "thoughts" into words, but it lacked the capacity to understand what those thoughts and words meant.

(You....seem....)

(unbroken.....)

Dess's chest and muscles felt like they were on the verge of exploding. No matter how hard she tried her body still refused to comply with her mind's pleas to do something... anything.

Was it slowly freezing her alive? Dess was too fucking scared care about something like that for long...

She flinched as the husk spoke again.

(......i.......do......not.....take......much.....)

(......another.......light....ner..................unlikely........)

The abomination muttered weakly.

(final........opportunity........for........)

A S C E N S I O N

Its voice was raspy, the only emotion Dess could gather from it was extreme hunger. Talking seemed to cause immense strain and take serious effort for whatever the hell was in front of her.

Dess's body finally listened to her brain's commands to move, but stopped after retreating a few steps back as the voice shook the darkness around her.

The creature seemed to approach Dess but it was stationary, it only moved when Dess felt a cold breeze... brush against her like sharp, small icicles.

The husk initiated a battle. Dess felt her hands instinctually grip tightly around her bat.

The invisible narrator in her head was back.

*???? blocked the way!

Dess: LV 1 HP: 420/420

TP: 0%

FIGHT: ACT: MAGIC: ITEM: SPARE:

- FIGHT
- ????
- Triple Bash
- 35

With all of her strength, Dess smashed the husk upside the head with her bat three times... It didn't seem to faze the abomination.

The husk decided to not attack, instead using its turn to inch forwards.

Dess couldn't help but stare upon the unsettling, mangled corpse in front of her. If it wasn't going to attack, maybe one of those options could scout its strength.

- ACT
- CHECK
- ????
- AT: 40 DF: ????
*The abomination within the darkest recesses of the bunker. It has no soul, it has no conscience, it is fueled by pure determination. The only feeling it is capable of is hunger... and you are the first real sustinence it has encountered in a long time.

It mentioned a final opportunity for ascension.

The note from Dr. WD's journal was stained in blood and dust...

The monster they had created.... In another life...

The voice narrating this hellish nightmare...

Dess had finally connected the dots... Or maybe she was seeing things that weren't there....

Regardless of it was a nightmare, or reality.... or if she was just seeing things...

Whatever the fuck that thing is, ate and killed someone from the real world...

Dess was next... and even if this was a bad dream she could awake from... the pain might be too real to forget...

*A light breeze picked up from nowhere... the air grew even colder.

Dess: LV 1: HP: 420/420

TP: 0%

*FIGHT: ACT: MAGIC: ITEM: SPARE:

- FIGHT
- ????
- Triple Bash
- 39

The Vessel hovered closer again.

*The wind began to gust in sync with your heartbeat.

Dess had to be sure.

She pinched her arm with all of her strength, her teeth gritted in pain as the nails punctured her skin.

It was real... but Dess held onto fleeting hope that she'd wake up

The Husk didn't move forward this turn. Dess didn't feel any relief though.

She would keep attacking this thing until it died.

- Triple Bash
- 37

*Your soul is growing colder

Whoever the hell that voice was, wasn't making this any less terrifying.

The creature slowly hovered forward a short distance, odd gurgling and wheezing sounds escaped it. Dess didn't know and she didn't want to find out what they meant.

- Triple Bash
- 36
*The world slows down.

Dess shivered as the cold enveloped her.

- Triple Bash
- 39
*Your heart slows.

Dess felt something cold on the back of her neck. She shivered and tried to rub it away.

- Triple Bash
- 45

*Your breathing slows.
*Darkness briefly flows through you
*The Husk fed off your fear!*

- +263 HP!

Dess's blood went cold, her magic in her soul flowed with fear.... she didn't even consider this husk may be able to regenerate.

Her breathing grew frantic, there was no way she could deal more damage than it could heal before it got its hands on her.

Dess was going to fucking die, she was going to die in the fucking bunker, cold and alone.

If she was even in the bunker anymore...

But Dess had to keep attacking, maybe it would give up if she hit it hard enough, even predatory animals would retreat against particularly stubborn prey. Asriel had told her that once.

But this thing wasn't an animal, it was an abomination in the eyes of the Angel.

- Triple Bash
- 44

The creature attacked for the first time, Dess felt the darkness close around her.

Two thick, malformed hands, with odd holes in the palms, like the ones before... lethargically shot from the darkness.

The first hand came head on, Dess darted easily to avoid it.

The second hand came from the side, it was faster and changed its trajectory in response to her previous movement, but was still quite slow and Dess had plenty of time to dodge.

The hands shuddered, then slowly retreated into the dark; ending the attack.

*Darkness constricts your soul!*
*Your world is blotted out by the cold march of DETERMINATION.

Dess didn't know it was possible the world could get any darker... Dess felt like she was watching herself from a distance... equally as panicked...

"Fuck!", Dess cried in frustration, she could barely make out her bat right in front of her face... she couldn't even hear the laboured breathing coming from the husk anymore.

But it could still see and hear her with little difficulty.

- Triple Bash
- 48

*The cold hands of death will find their mark.

Even a clean hit did nothing to calm the fear that gripped Dess's soul.

The creature attacked again, this time two hands appeared on both sides of Dess, closing in from each side like a clap, Dess quickly darted out of the way.

It repeated the attack five more times, thank the Angel it wasn't very fast. But it was faster than the first attack.

Just as Dess thought it was over...

The abomination's ribcage slowly opened with an agonized crack that echoed through the darkness.

The odd light glowed with bright and hypnotizing power.

Dess sheilded her face, the sudden burst of brightness nearly blinding her. As her eyes adjusted, her attention focused on the pulsing and throbbing mass of energy now exposed.

Thank they Angel it didn't do anything more...

It must be the weak point, the husk wasn't very fast, perhaps it needed to draw energy to attack at full strength, but that would leave it vulnerable. That was boss fight design 101.

Dess shifted her grip on her bat, she'd kill that repugnant abomination before it had the chance to use its full strength

- FIGHT
- ????
- Life Essence
- Triple Bash
- 1842

"Holy shit yes!", Dess yelled excitedly as the husk lurched back, gagging and weezing in immense agony.

*You've made a horrible mistake
*You've only made it hungrier

Dess wanted to contest the voice, but the husk seemed to recover quickly for being struck in such a vulnerable location.

Six hands came from the front, much faster this time, she darted in a zig zag pattern to narrowly avoid each.

Six more came as quickly from the side. Dess barely got out of the way, using the same zigzag pattern to avoid being grabbed.

But the hands hadn't retreated into the darkness like last time... they had formed a loose circle around her, Dess was forced to stand nearly still by the trap.

Dess didn't want to know how much faster the next ones would be.

The creature lurched and gagged violently several times as the bright light in its chest... grew hotter, making the husk melt even more.

The hands slowly dispersed, Dess maintained her focus on the husk's energy.

A rapid but thin beam of light burst from the creature's chest, like a laser. Dess wasn't fast enough to duck out of the way.

The beam smashed her square in the face and knocked her onto her back. Dess groaned in shock, having no time to brace for the hit. The energy was cold, enough to make her fur stand on edge and her body involuntarily shiver from the abrubt chill.

- 90

Dess shakily returned to her feet, she wasn't going down so easily. If that thing wanted to kill her so bad, she'd drag it to hell with her.

Although this thing would probably not only like hell, it would thrive there.

*Its hunger grows at the warmth of your soul.
*You have only delayed the inevitable.

Despite the odds showing the voice was likely correct, Dess had heard enough from the mysterious narrator.

They should be grateful she was a little preoccupied, or she'd beat their fucking ass.

- Triple Bash
- Life Essence
- 2145

The husk gagged and lurched backwards, black syrupy blood leaked from its mouth and hole in its torso.

Dess didn't feel her confidence gain at all, her stomach twisted itself into knots of dread.

Dess didn't know when it would regenerate again, or if she was even remotely close to killing the creature...

Six hands appeared from different angles around Dess, blocking off any chance of escape, Dess braced herself for another beam before the abomination had even begun to charge another beam.

The hands flung towards her one after another in a spiral formation, she narrowly dodged the first six.

They reformed again and attacked in another spiral formation, this time counterclockwise.

Dess stood her ground, she spun as she swung her bat, obliterating each hand just before it could reach her.

That was only five hands...

The last one attacked from behind and dug its claws into her neck, Dess spun around and bashed it with her bat.

It was learning her patterns... and adapting impossibly fast.

Then everything went white

Dess's world froze over as a larger beam pierced through her chest, it collided with her soul.

- 66
- 66
- 66

Burning radiated through her entire being upon the beams contact, only to quickly be replaced by waves of ice crashing against Dess's body.

Dess staggered, but she refused to go down, she was hurt badly... but her two choices were die fighting, or willingly let that thing kill her...

If this was how it ended... She'd die fighting, holding her bat high, she took deep breaths to gather energy for her next attack.

*Only death will grant the warmth you seek... just accept it...

Dess:
HP: 132/420

- Triple Bash
- Life Essence
- 1997

"Shut up! Shut up! I said shut the fuck up!", Dess yelled out in exasperation to the voice that echoed from every direction, but felt like it had come from inside her skull.

The husk tilted its head in curiosity at the new and unusual stimuli.

....S....H.....U.....T......U.....P...

It wasn't mocking her, it wasn't capable of that, Dess didn't want to know what it was doing.

Several weak beams burst from the husk's chest without being charged up, Dess dived out of the way instinctually, somehow not getting hit by any of them.

Dess rolled as she landed and sprung to her feet and charged the husk head on.

- Triple Bash
- Life Essence
- 1273

More blood spilled from the husk's mouth, but it didn't even make a raspy cry of distress this time. It was getting used to the pain... Dess tried to cling to Asriel's explanation about predatory animals... but it didn't assure her, it made everything worse as though the dark could read her thoughts.

*The parasite has begun imprinting itself on the adult doe.

*It will not be long before...

Dess tried to pretend the voice had said nothing.

Hands appeared from the darkness, more than Dess could count, they rapidly approached her.

Dess planted her feet and swung her bat, taking out four of them.

She ducked low as one came from behind and went inbetween her horns.

She retreated a step, only to feel a sharp sting as a hand clawed into her back.

- 6

Dess spun around and swung her bat with all of her strength, disintegrating five hands on impact.

Dess grunted as two hands collided into her torso, knocking the wind out of her.

- 12

Dess hissed in pain as a hand clawed into her right bicep, it tore through her jacket, and spilled dust and a little blood down her arm.

- 6

The husk made odd gurgling sounds once the scent of December's dust and blood reached it.

Waves upon waves of hands encircled Dess, who swung her bat in desperation, knocking ten hands away.

Before she could bring her bat back for another swing, a hand clawed into Dess's left calf, buckling her knee as a fist slammed into her left cheek, knocking her onto her back in a daze.

- 12

Dess's bat clattered against the cold ground as it rolled out of her hand.

Everything felt frozen over, even the burning and stinging from Dess's cuts felt more like frostbite than anything.

Dess scrambled to a standing position on auto pilot, the hands had seemingly retreated into the darkness... but she knew they were still there... just barely out of her reach... but able to ambush her.

The light from the husks midsection shimmered brightly within the dark.

Dess didn't have the strength to move, only whisper worriedly to herself.

"Oh Angel... I-", Dess retched from the impact into her midsection, her sentence replaced with a raspy howl of agony.

- 66

Two hands simultaneously emerged from the darkness, they were far larger than the others, they grabbed Dess by the forearms and dragged her forward, she didn't have the strength to stand anymore.

*The feeding can begin.

Dess jolted to her feet as the voice bashed the inside of her skull.

Angel knows how many dumps of adrenaline her body had given to keep her alive, but that one caused a burning ripple of pain through her muscles.

But the burning wasn't all bad... it meant the cold had not fully numbed her.

If Dess could still feel, she could still fight. Dess wasn't going to just accept this.

Dess thrashed desperately to break free, and bit her top lip to stop herself from screaming in pain as the husk's grip made her hands feel cold and tingly, like static.

She tasted blood from where she bit her lip, but Dess didn't care. It was worth it to keep fighting. It was another reminder she was still alive.

But it was impossible for her to win this battle of pure strength in her condition.

No, Dess couldn't think like that, she dug her hooves into the ground and yanked her arms back from the grip of the husk.

Her arms and shoulders burned as though they were going to be ripped out of the sockets... a deep, guttural cry of agony, but also relief escaped Dess as she pulled her arms free from the grip dragging her forward.

Dess held her trembling arms up, attempting to mimic a fighting stance, but she was beat... She didn't have much left.

She didn't have anything left. Dess didn't even have her bat any more.

*A bold, but ultimately pointless act of resilience from the doe.

Dess: LV1
HP: 24/420

- ????
- 

Why couldn't she do anything?

Why was the voice speaking like it knew what was going to happen?

It wasn't cruel or mocking, but it was cold and clinical, almost informative...

Dess was so cold she had not noticed the waves of tears pouring down her face until her cheeks were drenched with salty warmth.

Dess tried to take a step, to rush forward and go down swinging, or to turn around and try and run for it, maybe there weren't more hands waiting for her in the darkness... to try and do something, anything.

But she couldn't, she stumbled a little, but remained stationary. Dess couldn't put any weight on that leg.

Her hands found a mind of their own as they frantically ruffled through her backpack... since her clothes had changed, maybe the stuff in there had too.

She didn't have any other options.

- ITEMS
- Chocolate Wafer
- + 180 HP

There were other things in there, but it was the first thing she grabbed.

Dess noticed some of her wounds heal instantly, but it brought no relief to her pain.

She couldn't even taste the wafer... but of course the pain was real... utter bullshit.

A shimmering glow stole Dess's attention, the husk was charging another attack, all she could do was watch and brace herself.

Dess stared hollowly into the light, her instincts tried to limp her away, but it accomplished nothing other than sending waves of cutting icicles into her already aching foot.

Dess called out for help... she wasn't sure why, she knew nobody could answer.

Dess clenched her jaw and shielded her face as the beam of light collided into her like a rocket.

- 198

Everything was so cold.

*The creature fed on your pain and fear!

- + 2323 HP

The world was so blurry...

*The doe has run out of options... the feeding can finally begin.

Dess: LV1
HP: 6/420

Was this some deranged documentary? Was the voice even talking to her?
If it wasn't why the hell was it echoing through her skull?

But as everything settled, Dess was still on her feet, not by her own volition... the hands were holding her up, denying her even the basic relief of collapsing into a heap on the ground.

Dess looked up, and realized her face was within a few feet of the husks... 'face'.... it stunk of rotted flesh and monster dust.

Muffled whispers and cries whisped from the artificial smile plastered on its blank head.

Dess had never felt so cold in her life, or what was left of it

Dess struggled to move, she couldn't yell, she thrashed, she kicked, she once again hopelessly pleaded for her parents, her friends, anyone to help her.

*But nobody came.

Even the voice that echoed through her skull was gone... at this point she wanted just to hear something other than her internal screams of fear.

With a hand that materialized from darkness, the creature tugged at its rib, and tore off a small, sharp shard, it growled, whined and gagged in distress.

- 2666

Dess was going to be sick at the sight and sound of the black syrupy blood oozing from every oriface of the husk's body...

The ribcage quickly shut to protect its life force as the creature slowly lifted the rib shard towards Dess.

It was too much, everything Dess had endured, had witnessed... her psyche couldn't handle the surge of pain, the emotions, the cutting torment of the cold...Dess was angry, she was terrified, she was going numb... and she didn't know what was real anymore.

It overtook the final inklings of lucidity Dess had been clutching on to, any particles of hope she clung to that might wake up shattered like ice.

Dess was weeping so violently, her body trembled and convulsed, despite how tightly the hands were holding her in place.

Sobs continued to escaped Dess. She was going to die, in agony... forgotten and alone.

Dess tried to think positive, returning to the comforting lie that this was a nightmare... that she'd fell down the bunker stairs and this was all just from a concussion... But lying to herself made it hurt so much more.

Even more sobs, but now a little subdued forced their way out of Dess Holiday as the figure adjusted its grip around her torso... and summoned another hand to grasp her jugular. She again tried to thrash and kick, she desperately tried to avert her gaze from the loose smile on it's empty, unfeeling, unknowing face, but it accomplished nothing.

The husk gurgled and rumbled at Dess, she wasn't sure if she was imagining things but she swore she heard 'determination', whispered from the creature's torso.

Her body drooped slightly as the husk finally loosened its grip a little to allow more hands to clasp into Dess's flesh.

Dess's desperate gasps for air from sobbing turned to raspy gags that clung to life with each inhale.

Then the several dozen hands propping Dess up let go simultaneously.

A small whimper of anguish escaped Dess as she limply collapsed to her knees.

Malformed hands grasped around each of her shoulders, they stopped Dess before she faceplanted into the ground... stealing the basic relief that even collapsing would bring.

The hands burned as they dug into her flesh to hold her down, the cold making the burning pains cutting into her flesh seared like an inferno.

Dess felt the pain ripple through her body, but her brain didn't receive the pulse signifying pain.

Oh Angel, Dess was going numb. She was dying.

She wanted to scream in agony, she wanted to cry for mercy. But the cold was paralyzing. She knew crying for mercy would be a waste of breath, but Dess still felt the suppressed urge to do so.

A tug on her right arm made Dess yelp, despite feeling no pain from it.

The husk held the fragment of its rib just above her arm, it was barely an inch in length.

Dess couldn't look away, she knew what was coming. The numbness didn't last long, being overpowered when the shard pierced her skin. While everything else felt like a pain to her physical form...

This felt like it was cutting directly into her soul, Dess couldn't comprehend the feeling but it felt... like something was burrowing...

The voice had called it a parasite.

Dess couldn't even yell, only being able to whimper, sob and thrash.

But as the rib was pushed deeper into her arm, the desire to scream grew uncontrollable, even if it was only to remind herself she was still alive.

"S-S-STOP! PLEASE! I'M BEGGING!"

Dess yelped and shrieked in a desperate attempt to fill the unnerving ambience of the cold winds, she couldn't hold back the urge to scream as loud as she could... but the rib pressed deeper. She knew it was pointless, the husk didn't even know what words were, let alone what mercy was. 

The pain that had already eclipsed her soul, increased exponentially.

Dess's legs trembled on their own as she jolted with each wave of agony radiating through her.

As the pain continued to peak, Dess took a shaky breath in, once again screaming with everything she had, her voice cracked until it was nothing more than a raspy gag.

The entire rib was in her forearm. Everything was frosted over, everything was blurry.

All Dess could do was choke and cry, her voice was raw from screaming, her head throbbed violently from being hit and from how many conflicting noises and thoughts had shook the inside of her skull.

The husk let her go, but Dess didn't notice, everything was cold, she was going to die... she was dying... maybe if Dess had accepted it... it wouldn't have hurt... that thought made Dess grimace.

Any second the coldness would fade, and Dess would finally find a little warmth in death.

"....please....make....it....stop.....", Dess slurred to herself as she rested on the thin tightrope that separated life and death. The husk was nowhere to be seen... even the howling of the cold wind was gone, but Dess didn't notice.

Her stomach sank as she leaned too far in one direction and fell off...

A subconscious urge to keep fighting had angled Dess in the correct direction.

She wasn't sure if she was still crying or not, Dess couldn't even tell if she was breathing... but the resilient, and slow thump of her heartbeat showed she was, thank the Angel.

Dess still couldn't feel anything, but enough strength returned to her that she could move a little bit.

Dess tried to lift her arms, but they were pinned under something...

The Husk watched its prey intensely from a distance, then fully retreated into the darkness, it had succeeded in its mission... now all it had to do was wait.

The pain slowly subsided, but did not leave, everything ached, everything still felt cold and tingly. But at least Dess could feel again... compared to what she'd just went through, that was good enough for her.

As more feeling returned, Dess realized her arms were pinned under her legs somehow, she slowly pulled them out from under her, and shakily shielded her neck and head with them.

Dess still couldn't see, but at the very least, she could feel her limbs again.

Feeling returmed to Dess as a weird static tingling, her vision slowly cleared. She was on the cold ground, lying in her dust and blood stained clothes.

She shakily sat up, her breathing still desperate laboured gasps.

Dess hadn't realized she was still crying, but each gasp and sob that escaped was another breath of precious air that she savoured.

She shakily looked around, and saw nothing...

Dess CHECKED her injuries.

December (Dess) Holiday:
LV 6.6667: Rebellious teen with a fiery determination in her soul.
HP: 6/ 1475
Attack: 71
Defense: 36
Magic: 6
Rules Broken: 18
Weapon Equipped: Spiked Bat
Armour Equipped: Damaged Leather Jacket

Dess had so many questions about the information in front of her... but she'd figure that out later, it wasn't what mattered... She needed to find a way to escape, or find a place she could hide before the husk returned.

Dess was happy to have her bat back though, she didn't care that she was certain she had dropped it.

Dess opened her backpack, and rapidly searched through her items until she grabbed something, using the antiseptic.

It stung, but compared to what she had just endured, the hot stinging felt, almost pleasant...

HP: 306/1475

She had only one item left, she used it without hesitation, and ate the granoly bar

HP: 506/1475

Dess shuddered as she rose to her feet, her legs trembled with weakness and pain. She stumbled foreward, her instincts drawing her towards the pillar of energy not far ahead.

All Dess could hear was the rumble of intense power from the pillar, as she shuffled to a stop in front of it.

Dess didn't risk touching something of such immense energy... there had to be another way to interact with it.

An unexpected surge of energy from her soul brought Dess to her knees. There was a light, it shimmered brightly with Dess's will, her determination to escape... Her will to wake up.

Dess quivered as she rose to her feet, a white door appeared within the cascading darkness of the pillar.

It was so stupid, it was so fucking stupid what she was about to do, but she didn't care. Whatever the hell was beyond there couldn't be as bad as this had been...

It was worth it if she could escape, she limped into the light, letting its glow of serenity envelop her.

And everything went dark.

Dess's head was groggy, the world spun, wherever she was, it was damp, and cold.

December's eyes opened, it was dark, but not like before... somehow the pain of her life threatening injuries... faded away like they had never happened...

As clarity returned to Dess, she was laying on her back, against the hill on the side of the bunker, her guitar in its case on her lap, her backpack next to her.

The rain had stopped, she didn't care how long it had been, two minutes, two hours, or two weeks, she was just happy she was in the real world.

Dess didn't feel that type of cold, she didn't feel agony ripple through her... Sure she was damp and sore, but that's because she'd passd out on rain soaked and muddy grass for Angel knows how long.

It wasn't real, it was just a nightmare, whatever it was, Dess was staying the hell away from this place at any cost.

She'd probably had too much to eat at the diner, it wasn't anything serious. Dess chastised herself for being so careless...

Dess grunted in discomfort as she sat up and her eyes opened properly. She could barely see, not because it was too dark... but the opposite, her eyes had adjusted to the unmatched darkness that had clouded her nightmare.

It wasn't real, but holy shit did it feel real..

She whimpered, until more waves of sobs forced their way through her, her chest moved up and down with each gasp and exhale.

It was odd, Dess cried intensly in the nightmare, but she felt no affects of it in the real world, she at least expected a headache.

A shaky smile formed on Dess's face as she stopped suppressing the sobs... she allowed them cascade out of her, each time her body convulsed as a sob escaped was a little bit of the pain being eased. She was finally free, she was actually free.

"You're alright Dess... get it together, whatever that was... it can't hurt you anymore." She whispered assuringly to herself.

It was just a nightmare, it was just a bad dream... it wasn't real... all she had to do was cry it out and she'd probably not even remember it in a few days.

But she'd have to be quick, Dess didn't know what time it was, and the only place she had any chance of feeling truly safe at right now, was home.

Chapter Text

Dess's stagger home was mostly a blur, she was fully awake, but she hadn't payed much attention to her surroundings, all of her focus was spent moving forward and peering the dark streets of Hometown for anything odd and ignored the ordinary.

It had felt like hours, but was at most seven minutes, by the time she had made it to the front gate.

"Fuck, how am I going to get this heavy ass gate open?", Dess mumbled under her breath in exhausted irritation.

She unlocked the gate and pushed, to her surprise the gate opened with little resistance... she figured it was from the adrenaline dump the nightmare gave her.

But Dess had actually... gotten stronger.

As she shut the gate behind her, she felt... safer. Dess didn't feel completely safe, but she felt like if she called out for help, someone would be there.

Dess entered through the door sideways, so her backpack and guitar could enter without hitting the frame.

"How yah doing rockstar? Have fun?", Rudy asked warmly.

"Yeah... but wow that hike was hard. I'm beat, and I smell like a wet dog. I had a nap in the forest and woke up on a bunch of wet grass and dirt."

Dess's white lie came so quickly, casually and convincingly it scared herself a little.

As she stepped further into the living room, Rudy coughed and gagged violently.

"Holy shit... you weren't kidding young lady, you really do smell like a wet dog. I..... I don't even want to be in the same room as you until after you've had a shower. I'm not trying to be funny either.", Rudy explained earnestly as he gagged.

Dess nodded and hurriedly shuffled to her room, Dad had given her the perfect excuse to shower, she tried her best to quietly shut the door, and put her backpack in her desk chair. Dess wasn't sure why she'd need an excuse.

Dess swung open the door of her cabinet, she grabbed a bath towel, and a clean pair of clothes, not looking at what she grabbed, her mind simply chose the most comfortable ones she had. She placed everything into a small basket so she wasn't getting her clothes dirty by putting them directly on the floor.

She needed to hurry, even though it was just a dream, and she knew she was safe at home, Dess didn't like being alone... She felt like something might come out of the dark and...

Dess spedwalked to the bathroom and shut the door behind her to escape that thought; the door closed louder than intended.

With the door locked behind her, Dess slouched her shoulders with an exhale.

The bathroom was bright, there wasn't any dark places for a hand to reach out of thankfully.

Dess bent down to put her basket of clean clothes onto the floor.

"Oww, shit.... oh Angel that hurts..."

A soft groan of exhaustion and discomfort escaped Dess, she felt pain in her neck and back, she'd need a massage at the minimum to deal with sleeping in such an unpleasant spot.

Dess returned to her feet with a sigh, normally she liked showering, the solitude and safety of the locked door let her be vulnerable... let Dess put down her mask.

She still liked showers, but she didn't like being alone with her thoughts.

Something didn't have to be real for it to hurt. It was better than before, but it still took up space in her mind, ready to distract her from her current focus.

Dess pulled her sweater and t-shirt off in one go, they were soaked in rain, grass and a lot of mud, they had stuck together from how much mud was soaked in them..

Dess undid her jean shorts and removed those, then she removed her leggings and socks.

She shivered slightly as the brisk, bathroom air brushed against her fur and skin. Fuck, why was the bathroom always so cold?

Dess noticed her reflection in the mirror. It looked off... somehow, like it wasn't her... the notion felt ridiculous, but her arms still moved to defensively cover her upper body. She analyzed the reflection with a squint.

It was her, but her movements and expressions seemed slightly stiff and artificial...

Dess didn't like the warped reflection, it made her feel.... uneasy, it felt like a sick imitation of her... like... like a.

Caricature of herself.

Dess couldn't look at that distorted version reflected by the mirror, so she quickly opened the cabinet it was attached to as far as it could go. Enough that the only thing that would be warped by it was the wall.

Her fluttered breathing slowly steadied. Dess desperately needed a hot shower, not just to wash the stench of sleeping in grass and mud... but to wash away the fear, and the hold the the resilient memories had on her.

As Dess tried to unclasp her bra, her hand recoiled like it had been struck. Her shoulders tensed as she involuntarily raised her hands in a defensive posture.

She felt her body feel frozen, waves of cold cut through her being... like that husk was behind the shower curtain... waiting.

But she knew it wasn't. She knew she was safe. But knowing, and understanding were very, very different.

Dess trembled, her breaths uneven, her soul was quivering in recollection.

"No no no no no no no.", Dess whispered under her breath, trying to force herself to forget how real the pain in her nightmare felt.

She sat down against the bathroom door, so she could watch the shower curtain, just in case. It wouldn't do anything, if it really was there, she had just backed herself further into a corner.

Dess swore she felt the two ice cold hands grasp tightly into her shoulders, and cut into her flesh again

"Please.", Dess cried just above a whisper.

Why couldn't the memories just disappear on their fucking own? Dreams and nightmares were supposed to be forgotten quickly after waking up, and yet not only had this one persisted, it felt so real, it felt like Dess would close her eyes and be back in the darkness again. Back with the husk.

Dess stared intently at her hands trembling on her knees, she was shivering almost as bad as.... she needed to get in the shower, but she wasn't fully comfortable with the additional vulnerability that being naked brought...

It wasn't being naked itself that made her uneasy... it's that the only time she was naked was at her most vulnerable, alone in a confined space... exhausted after a tiring day.

The loose dirt and sand on her shoulder felt all too much like dust, and the sweat that dripped down her back and neck reminded her of the blood as cold hands cut into her flesh... hands that dragged her further into the dark.

"no... stop... please...", Dess croaked silently as she once again recalled the pains of the nightmare.

She wanted to yell out... but she didn't have that luxury. Drawing attention to this would only end poorly.

If someone found out, what the fuck was she even supposed to tell them?

Dess genuinely wasn't even sure what she could say... she couldn't even begin to explain pain and fear she herself couldn't comprehend, it would only end in a misunderstanding.

Another chill washed over her.

"Fuck fuck fuck", Dess could feel herself on the verge of crying, she needed something to distract herself from the memories, to distract herself from how cold she was until she could bring herself to shower.

She leaned forward and grabbed the sink to pull herself up. The floor was cold anyways.

Dess stared in the open bathroom cabinet, there had to be something to distract her... the straight edge of Dad's razor caught her eye.

As she shakily pulled it towards herself, Dess paused. She didn't know what she had planned but she didn't like it.

She couldn't resort to that.

Dess had to find something else to make this stop.

But as she put the razor back, something burned in her forearm... no, it seared like an inferno.

An inferno of agony in her right forearm sent chills to every part of Dess's body, they temporarily paralyzed her.

The agony from her forearm, it was the exact spot it..... where.... she was.... where.... it....

Dess needed warmth, she needed the memories to go away, NOW.

If Dess didn't stop them, she would break down, she would sob and yell so loud the entire town would hear her...

She grabbed the straight razor so fast she didn't even see her arm move.

It seemed the pain had made the choice for her.

She needed to stop the memories of it all... She needed to rid herself of the faint, haunting recreations of agony she felt from the nightmare.

She needed to decide fast, something small, somewhere she could easily cover up...

Dess positioned the blade against the top part of her bicep by her armpit, she dragged it slowly towards the outside as she pressed down, mindlessly cut just below her shoulder, andonly stopped when she realized she'd almost cut  half the circumference of her arm.

The hot sting of the blade that broke her skin, exposing the blood and dust in her arm to cold air burned horribly, but it brought something resembling relief, it reminded her what real pain was... It reminded her that she was real, and that what she saw in the nightmare wasn't.

A hiss escaped Dess as she pulled the blade from her arm and returned it to the cabinet.

She didn't feel those hands on her shoulders, the ripples of ice through her body, even the inferno of agony in her arm was finally gone.

Dess felt better, or she at least didn't feel that unnatural chill in her soul anymore... her fur still stood on end, but that was because the bathroom was always cold.

The serenity was nice, but it was short lived... Dess looked at her arm, the weight of her actions sunk in as blood and dust split out, concerningly fast.

It was a deep cut, and was near the entire width of her upper arm.

"Shit.", Dess cursed hollowly, then she wrapped toilet paper around her arm to make sure she didn't bleed all over the bathroom.

At least the other pains were just... in her head. This time it was real, and there was a hard to miss reminder of those memories on her bicep and tricep.

Dess insulted herself relentlessly in her head until...

She snapped. She was crying...again.

"Just... let it out... just let yourself cry... by the Angel's grace Dess.", she whimpered to herself as she shakily sat back down and rested her head in her palms.

Each breath was pained as she fought those words... as Dess forcefully denied herself the right to sob as much as she needed, it felt good... and... when the warmth of happiness, or joy, or relief inevitably faded away, all Dess would feel was cold again.

She shouldn't feel that way, she should... just get used to the cold. It was inevitable, it was her fate... Dess should have accepted it... she'd been asking for it by fucking around with that bunker... 

"Why would it be my fault, and not the fault of the husk?", Dess whispered hopelessly.

Dess didn't know, but blaming herself was the easiest path.

"Why do I have to make everything so much harder on myself?", Dess spoke softly but harshly, her voice cutting her choices with contempt.

Every choice she had made was the wrong one... her remedy replaced the pain with a a far stronger pain, compounded by the one before... alongside a horrible guilt.

Dess didn't like it, she didn't feel ready to confront the memories again... but she'd have to do it.

She needed warmth that made her relaxed, the razor had brought warmth to Dess... but it was burning and painful, she couldn't control when it stopped hurting.

Dess slowly cried as much as she wanted, her tears made her hands and her face feel pleasantly warm.

The shower would be warm, it would be soothing, it was a blanket, she could control it... that's all Dess wanted, just a little bit of control back.

She was tired, and even though the pains were weaker, she still felt extremely cold. Dess needed to hurry up and shower, even if it was difficult, a shower would offer actual relief; instead of hurting more.

But Dess wasn't ready... at least her tears would keep her warm enough until she was.

Dess repeated to herself that the relief and safety of the warm shower would soothe any memories that threatened to return.

Crying would help, but it could only get her so far.

She stood up slowly, Dess felt her defiant spirit return a little bit, she fought the memories... then stood up to its weight and hold on her.

Dess hesitantly started to unclasp her bra, expecting another apparition, another surge of pain in her shoulders... but there was nothing, just the quiet thump of her heart beating and her bra falling to the bathroom floor.

Dess smiled and chuckled a few times under shaky breaths, she actually did it... she faced the painful memory head on and she actually won.

Dess finally got her chattering teeth and shallow breaths under control.

The cold hands cutting and grabbing into her shoulders wasn't the most painful apparition... but it was the most common, the easiest to accidentally awake.

If she could handle it maybe...

Dess pulled her forearm close to her chest protectively, there wasn't even a pain... but she didn't like thinking about it.

The sensation inside her soul from the nightmare... she had struggled to describe it...

Somehow the dulled recreation of pain gave clarity... it was something that wriggled in her soul.

"Damnit!", Dess angrily hissed at herself for returning to the nightmare she had fought so hard to literally and figuratively stand up against.

Dess retreated into herself and rocked as she sat on the cold floor. She'd learned in 11th grade biology.... ok she learned from Azzie that monster souls were the culmination of their being...

Of course they had internal organs, blood, brains, all the gross fleshy bits like humans...

But a monster's soul was the purest reflection of themselves, their greatest fears and desires.... and.... Dess felt it wriggling.... in her soul.

Dess was making it worse. Why was she only capable of making it fucking worse?!

Dess sunk her head into her hands, she was overthinking, she needed to stop thinking and just let herself cry again, but she vividly recalled that husk, or a part of its life force wriggling in hers like the parasite it was...

She didn't feel it in her actual soul thank the fucking Angel... but finally knowing what that primal, agonizing pain from the nightmare was, only for it to be perfectly recreated in her head, even if it was much weaker still felt... violating beyond anything she thought was possible.

Dess rocked a little more, the movement kept her warm, kept her distracted.

Dess realized she forced herself to stop crying again, it's why the memories kept coming back... but how the hell was she supposed to let go of a pain that struck her very essence?

She remembered what she'd learned about souls... the souls internal structure would alter slightly based on emotions, and various sensory stimuli.

Of course, the only reason she remembered that was Asriel looked so happy when she got it right during study practice.

Obviously, Dess could think of Azzie, he was clearly on her mind anyways.

Dess thought of Azzie as she allowed herself to sob, at first they were pained, choked sobs... but the more she thought about him, the more even and full her breaths became, the less she suppressed the tears.

The more she thought the less her tears stung, and the more they soothed Dess. 

Dess had found a way to handle the pain without resorting to... the other... tempting, but very ineffective method.

Dess wanted to do one final thing before she showered. She was going to look in the mirror, and if that sick caricature of her was still there, she'd tell it to piss off.

Dess slowly closed the cabinet, taking a step back to see if her reflection was still that stiff, warped, imitation of who she was.

Dess put up her best attempt of a stern look she could muster.

Dess shivered badly, her eyes were red from crying, she was naked, her fur covered in dust and mud.... and on top of that, Dess was bleeding a lot through the toilet paper on her arm... but it was her. It was Dess, it was the real Dess Holiday... standing defiantly in the face of adversity like she always did.

Dess gave a shaky smile at her reflection, she was still crying, which blurred her vision, but she knew it would still be her once it cleared.

Dess would be ok, even the nasty cut that reminded her of the nightmare would heal pretty quick.

She could get through this, she didn't have to suffer alone. She wasn't fond of her newfound ability to lie like it was nothing, like her words had no consequence... but it allowed her to say what she wanted, it allowed her to reach out while omitting details and feelings that even she couldn't fully grasp.

Her breaths slowed as her shoulders loosened. Everything would be ok.

Dess firmly told herself the rest of her weekend would be good, she was going to have an amazing time just to piss off whatever cosmic force had afflicted her with that nightmare.

Dess paused before she stepped in the shower, there was a small collection of thoughts in the back of her head, about something other than the nightnare. She couldn't help but be intrigued what they were about.

Gears turned for a few seconds as she searched her mind for the thoughts.

No, that could wait... she was losing focus and hopping from thought to thought.

Dess was in desperate need of a shower, she was stinking up the bathroom and the vent only activated once the water was going...the genius who designed that should have been fired.

Dad being unlike himself, had downplayed how disgusting Dess truly smelled, she did smell like a wet dog... but she smelled like a decomposing, maggot filled, wet dog that had been dragged out of a lake.

Dess chuckled at the absurdity and unnecessary descriptiveness of that.

Dess returned her thoughts to Asriel, even just thinking about choirboy made her feel warm and fuzzy.

She chuckled softly at his soothing smile and endearing awkwardness that often coincided with his calm, laidback confidence.  

Dess commbed her hands through the fur on her stomach, legs and back, she'd almost forgot she could feel after being so cold for so long, at least it wouldn't take long for the water to heat up.

She felt greasier than a slice of ICE E's pizza... and as an unfortunate soul tasked with cooking that slop, she knew all too well how disgustingly oily and inedible everything on the menu was.

The water quickly warmed enough for Dess to consider comfortable, she grabbed the safety rail as she shakily stepped into the shower.

Once she found her footing, she shuffled under the stream of hot water, her body trembled slightly at the sudden change of temperature.

It was so warm and soothing, like a blanket of ecstasy... literally and figuratively, the shower was rinsing the pain, and the cold out of Dess's soul for good.

"ohmyfuckingangel.", A guttural grunt of relief quietly escaped from Dess as an exhale. The shower was nothing special, just regular old water... but to Dess it felt like the embrace of paradise.

Dess murmured with further relief as the shower's heavenly warmth soaked into her fur, it rinsed the mud, the grass, the sweat... even the dust and the blood slowly left her fur.

The gash on her bicep didn't even hurt, she'd expected it to burn or sting on contact with the hot water, but if it did hurt, the unmatched peace of the shower's comforting embrace far overpowered any pain or negativity within her.

Dess lost track of time, she had slowly started washing her antlers and face, but she couldn't help but pause to let the water's calming embrace envelop her after every minor action. It had probably been 15 minutes or so, by the time she was done washing her face and horns.

She'd better pick up the pace, despite being the richest household within the next two or three towns, Carol could get quite stingy with utilities.

'"It was less about the money and more about principle.'", Dess mocked in a flat, stern voice... which Dess agreed with... but Carol had went too far when she removed the jacuzzi and replaced it with a walk in shower five years ago.

It took longer than usual to get all of the grease, dirt and mud out of her fur and hooves, but that was expected. Dess shut the shower off and stepped onto the bathmat, her neck and back still sore from sleeping on them badly; and the pains from the nightmare still remained as minor aches and vague reminiscence... but weren't as strong as before... they were just distant memories slowly fading, they felt far less real than before.

Each day that passed would make them grow weaker until... the memories had little hold on her.

She wiped the steam off the mirror, and smiled warmly when the reflection was still her.

Dess quickly wrapped her towel around herself, knowing it would not take long for the ventilation system to steal the warmth of the shower steam and replace it with the sting of the cold bathroom air.

She was meticulous in her efforts to dry off, being cold was unpleasant, but being damp and cold was so much worse.

Once she was dry, Dess grabbed her clothes basket from the floor and put it on the sink.

Dess hadn't really paid attention to what she'd grabbed, she had just selected the comfiest ones she owned, black boxer briefs, white candy cane pajama pants, a black graphic tee with the grim reaper flipping the bird and some hoof socks so she didn't get her bed dirty.

After getting dressed, Dess looked at herself in the mirror for a moment, realizing the... eccentric combination of clothes she was wearing.

"Damn I look good.", Dess smirked to herself, making finger guns at the reflection, half jokingly, half earnestly. It was a needed and genuine compliment.

Dess put all of her dirty clothes in the basket and returned them to her room, dumping them in the hamper... she even put the dirty clothes she tossed around from the afternoon into the hamper.

A mischievous smirk wormed itself across Dess's face as she walked down the stairs towards the living room, knowing damn well Dad wouldn't be able to resist joking about her mismatched outfit.

"Hey, miss me?", she asked nonchalantly.

Rudy slowly turned from one of Asgore's old boxing matches on the tv to answer Dess, he had the volume so high it took him a few seconds to register she'd said something.

Dad's eyes widened at her unusual outfit as he muted the tv.

"By the Angel's fucking grace young lady... did you get dressed in the dark or something?!", Rudy blurted in genuine shock.

Dess couldn't help but chuckle, "You know me better than that. I realized as I was getting dressed it didn't match, but I decided to roll with it."

Carol poked her head through the kitchen door, "Rudolph! I have told you to stop with the classly comments about December's sense of.... 'fashion'..."

Even Carol's unbreakable stoneface curved into a brief grin at how ridiculous her daughter's outfit looked.

Carol regained her composure and continued, "Well... please do so at an appropriate volume, we don't want to disturb Noelle, she's a light sleeper and she just went to bed."

Carol shifted her attention to her eldest daughter.

"Dess, I'm making tomato soup and grilled cheese if you want some. Your Father isn't getting any because he 'accidentally' used cannabis butter in the cookies he made so he wouldn't have to share."

Carol quickly added, her voice softened when she teased Rudy.

"Hell yeah!", Dess answered happily, grilled cheese and tomato soup was her comfort food she had frequently, but what made it truly special was it had been so long since Mom or Dad had made it for her.

Dess couldn't get the touch of love they had when she made it herself.

"Uh, I mean, yes please." Dess corrected, she answered a little quieter.

Carol nodded and smiled, "I'll let you know when it's done honey.", She responded as she returned to the kitchen.

Her Father turned back to the tv and pushed pause, he exhaled with exaggerated disappointment. "You made me miss the moment 'fluffybuns' leveled that chump, now I gotta rewind."

Dess covered her mouth as she chuckled at her Dad's comical, but not unusual escapades.

"Oh what the hell I've seen this fight a billion times anyways, doctor calls it off in between the 11th and 12th, the they slap the belt on Asgore's waist and the croud goes wild." Rudy uttered to himself as he shut off the tv.

Rudy gave a mischevious shrug, then sneakily handed Dess a bag with six cookies. It technically wasn't a secret, Carol softened her firmness on Dess never touching drugs once Rudy explained that Dess would try that stuff anyways and it was best she learned to use them responsibly. Rather then feel ashamed or guilty about it, lest they have a repeat of the vodka incident.

Rudy had used alcohol irresponsibly in college, and even a guy with as little shame as he had was beyond mortified when he woke up drenched in his own vomit and piss.

Of course, Dess and Chief Fluffybuns didn't have to know he and Carol knew about the vodka incident.

The shame and discomfort the nasty hangover it left Dess with was a more than cruel enough punishment

"The dose is pretty small, you're still a newbie with this stuff so please don't eat more than two at time, or you'll literally go to hell... two cookies have enough of the special stuff to last about two hours for someone around your weight, and they take 30-50 minutes or so to kick in."

Rudy whispered his advice, his face shifted to serious expression.

"I mean it, this stuff is great, but can go bad really fast if you are irresponsible. Do not eat more than two cookies at a time."

Dess gave an understanding nod, "Thanks Dad, I'll be responsible. I promise."

Rudy's usual cheery face returned, "Atta girl." He beamed proudly at how much he could trust Dess.

"If you're wondering how I'm not on cloud 9999 right now after eating 32 pot cookies, it's cause I spread out my standard dose between each cookie... which was too diluted to have any affect, so now I feel like shit because I ravenously downed 32 sugar cookies like a dumbass."

Dess sat beside Dad on the couch to continue their hushed conversation.

"My fucking merciful Angel Rudy!", Dess teased, she attempted to imitate Carol's cool, but concerned and protective tone.

"But it serves you right for your gluttony.", Dess followed up with a lighthearted jab.

"I suppose so, but enough about me... how'd my little rockstar's philosophical outing go?", He asked warmly.

Dess expected the question, but it still made her stomach briefly tense with the faded chills and numbness of the nightmare.

Dess's right hand gripped the couch cushion tightly, but Rudy wasn't able to notice from where he was sitting. Dad was the opposite of that husk... only warmth, kindness and love emanated from him.

Dess calmed herself, she was next to her Dad, she was as safe as she could be.

"I went to QC's for supper, then I had to buy a flashlight from Kent C's because I wanted to go for a hike, but didn't want to come all the way home to get one...

Rudy nodded affirmatively with a smile, letting his daughter know he was listening

"Once I got my shit together I finally went to the cemetary to play some music and let my mind wander... honestly what I should have done was go straight there, get food at QC's and go right back to the cemetary."

Dess took a breath before continuing, I was playing my guitar on the bench when Father Gerson made his daily rounds, even he was impressed by my music.", She beamed a little, remembering the old man's compliments.

"That's good to hear you at least had a little fun, but how was the hike? Uh, not including the part where you passed out in the forest."

Rudy asked innocently, stuffing his concern down so Dess would answer honestly.

Dess stumbled over her words trying to add more to her white lie, after all she had fully intended on hiking... but the forest was too dense to access any trails from the south.

"You made a complete ass of yourself, didn't you? Rudy asked quietly, misunderstanding her hesitancy continuing her lie for general embarrassment. Or that's what Dess believed. Rudy knew it would help his daughter recompose herself if he let her say what she wanted, despite what an outsider would think based solely on appearances... Carol taught him that pretty early on.

"Hey, for a brief mile and a half stretch I was not only maintaining a good pace, but good form, considering I had a guitar and its heavy ass case poking out of my backpack...", Dess retorted with faux offense.

"Then the weight tired me out really quick and the mud caused me to slip... a lot."

"Then you stopped to rest and dozed off in the middle of the forest, getting yourself drenched in grass and mud for Angel knows how many hours.", Rudy added playfully to mask his concern.

Dess chuckled, "At least I did some physical activity, you just sat on your ass and watched an old 'friend' do the hard work."

Rudy put his hand to his mouth with an exaggerated gasp, "I did the dishes and vacuumed my crumbs off the couch."

"I even shadow boxed a little."

It had been a mistake for Rudy to tell Dess he and Asgore had been an item once she became an adult.

She'd want 'vengeance' for his quips about choirboy, but in her defense, Dess had some funny ones. Not as funny as Carol's, but as funny as Toriel's.

Dess broke character, she didn't have any more playful retorts, her words regressed to muffled chuckles and laughs.

Seeing his daughter giggle like she was a little kid again... it melted Rudy's heart and broke the focus of his improvised retort.

Deep, but soft chuckles escaped him in bursts, synced with his daughter's identical chuckles.

"fahahaha!", Dess laughed a little louder, her laugh rising to one her Mom used, prompting Rudy to clap back with a deep "hohoho!"

"Damnit Dess, Carol's gonna skin us alive if we wake Noelle.", Rudy whispered through giggles.

It took both of a few seconds to compose themselves. Rudy was the first to resume the conversation.

"Since choir boy flaked on you tonight, I'd imagine you have plans involving him for all day Saturday and after Church on Sunday?"

Rudy continued before Dess could retort, "I know this 'cause you're my daughter and you've been head over heels for him for eight years.", He stated with a wink and a smirk.

Dess played it off by leaning into the couch and stretched her arms out, "I'll chalk it up to luck this time old man... We're gonna have a laidback hangout sesh at his place on Saturday, then we'll have a chill day here on Sunday."

"I wouldn't want to lose my roughhousing winstreak against him 'cause of neck and back pain."

Rudy nodded with a chuckle.

Carol poked her head out of the kitchen once again, "Food is ready Dess honey!", Her warm expression betrayed her stoic and neutral voice.

Dess gave her Dad a tight hug and whispered goodnight into his ear, he reciprocated and whispered, "Night rockstar." Into hers.

She smiled at him as she stood up and shuffled to the kitchen door Mom was holding open.

Rudy smiled back at Dess as she entered the kitchen.

"You feeling any better dear?", Carol asked sweetly as she put paper towels next to each of their soup and sandwiches already on the dining room table.

"Yeah, Dad tell you what happened?", Dess asked softly as she sat directly across the table from her Mom.

"Not really, he just said you went for a difficult hike and needed a long time to rest. He thought it would be best you explain it."

It seemed Dess would have to repeat her white lie again, she didn't blame Rudy for that, in fact she liked that he let her explain her side of the story to Carol.

"Well, I took a hike on some of the advanced forest trails. I had to put my guitar, and the heavy ass case in my backpack... I went Angel knows how many miles... I may have fallen asleep on the ground while taking a rest...", She answered with an awkward, forced casualness.

"You what?", Carol asked flatly and far too harshly, but learning her daughter had lost consciousness due to exhaustion made her overprotective motherly instincts flare up.

Carol noticed Dess grimaced at her tone, and froze up mid bite of her sandwich. Carol's face softened and melted to its true feelings, love and concern.

"Sorry for that darling. I'm not mad, and you aren't in trouble... I'm just worried for your health is all. You're an adult so it's not my call, but should I take you to the hospital? That... sounds like a genuine medical emergency."

Carol assured soft and sweetly.

"I'm good, I just didn't really prepare myself for a hike that intense, it was a spur of the moment idea and I pushed myself too hard.", Dess answered as truthfully as the white lie let her.

"I understand. I'm glad you're alright.", Carol said, relieved her baby girl was ok.

Dess wasn't her baby girl anymore though... and Carol needed to accept that, but hearing about her daughter recklessly endanger herself, brought out the overprotectiveness in Carol... from when Dess was little and Carol was the lone monster who could stand between Dessie and... Ivy... to make sure her baby girl would never have go through what Carol had.

Carol scolded herself internally for not only bringing HER up, but thinking about her magic donor when it wasn't absolutely necessary.

"Thanks, Mom.", Dess answered happily at her Mom's gentle expression.

"I know it sounds bizarre coming from me of all people... But, please don't push yourself too hard... you'll be doing enough of that in college.", Carol commented kindly, though she lacked her usual confidence.

Dess recalled her practice with Gerson, and realized that the perfect opportunity had shown itself by complete coincidence, just how the old fart had.

Dess recalled Gerson's quip, 'How did I know something was up? Old fashioned wisdom!'

"Thanks Mom, but if you don't mind..."
Dess hesitated, she'd been a bit hasty, she knew how she wanted to speak... but she had no Angel damn clue what to say.

"What is it Dess? Need something?, Carol invited her daughter to continue.

Dess mumbled and stammered to herself for a few moments, then her mind blurted something abrubtly without thinking.

"I disagree with your curfew... I get it you just want to protect me but I'm an adult, you said it yourself. I shouldn't have to tell you my routine when I head out... Are you going to follow me to college?."

Now that she had started, Dess wasn't sure if she could stop.

"And after that, what if I find a job in another city? Are you going to rent an apartment to keep an eye on me? When does it end? Are you going to put your brain in a fucking robot so you can make sure I don't get into trouble at the nursing home.....?"

Dess rambled to herself more than she was speaking her mind to Carol at that point.

Carol stood up, and walked around the table to sit next to her daughter. She had one chance to make this right as Dess's Mother, and she would not screw it up.

"Dess... Dess...." Carol cooed supportively to her baby girl as she sat in the chair, then she rested a gentle hand on December's shoulder.

"I owe you an apology. For acting overbearing, my curfews... my rules, some of them weren't fair. You deserved to have a say in your own schedule, it wasn't right for me to give you such difficult standards in academics and extracurriculars, even ones you could handle and eagerly took interest in... I shouldnt have withheld the freedom you deserved for having so much on your plate."

Carol spoke warmly and apologetically, her icy blue eyes softened in sincerity.

"You don't have to tell me where you're going, unless you want too, and you don't have to be at home by certain time, unless you want to."

"I was too stubborn and didn't say this as much as I should have when it really mattered... But Dess, I am sorry."

Carol gave her daughter an assuring smile.

Dess's body moved on her own, she nearly leapt from her chair as she pulled Carol into a firm hug, and rested her head on Mom's steady shoulders.

The air was forced out Carol's lungs with a rasped gag, Dess embraced her Mom tightly.

"Thank you so much Mom! Not just for this, but everything, I mean it, you were a hardass... but in a good way somehow. You channeled my undisciplined drive into something actually productive.. I never could have succeeded getting accepted into my dream college without you encouraging me!"

Dess excitedly stammered, her grip around Carol's midsection tightened.

"...desss... hugging.... too.... tight.....", Carol croaked weakly.

Dess quickly let go and stepped back sheepishly, "Sorry, didn't mean to hurt you there. I'm just so happy, because I knew I could do it, I knew you could do it, all we have ever wanted to say to eachother was 'I'm sorry' and, 'I was wrong...' But we're both so fucking stubborn and... and..."

Dess stopped her awkward, emotional rambling, interrupted by Carol's strained coughs and wheezes.

"It's.....alright.... Dess."

Carol coughed and gasped for air a little more after choking out those words.

"Angel's.... Angel's grace.... December..... you're getting strong, really strong. I thought you were about to crush my ribs.... I'm pretty sure I almost wet myself.." Carol wheezed jokingly.

It had been a while since she'd been playful and joked lightly... Carol missed the jokes... it wasn't even that long ago, they still joked, but this was like before they started to argue more.

Dess hugged her Mom a second time, but did so far more gently, "Sorry about that, it's just... I've been dreaming of this day after every argument, when I'd slam my door and call you a bitch. I never meant it, I was just frustrated... I didn't feel heard."

Carol's strength returned to her, she pulled December into a firm, but gentle hug, letting her daughter rest her head against her shoulder. It was a little harder than last time because Dess was now the same height as her.

But that was irrelevant. Maybe Dess was still her baby girl, but she was so much more than that. She was her grown adult baby girl.

Carol couldn't help but giggle inside her head at that thought.

"It wasn't your fault Dess, you were just trying to be heard, I was too focused on the past to notice how close I was hovering over you."

Carol's imposing and commanding voice was so understanding and assuring at softer tones.

For the first time today, Dess was glad she was crying. But then again, it was also the first time she cried happy tears.

"It's ok Mom, and just for tonight, I don't mind if you want to hover over my shoulder a little.", Dess said in earnest, knowing she'd feel safer with her Mom looking out for her... but played it as a joke.

Rudy couldn't help but peek his head into the kitchen, catching a glimpse of the inextinguishable bond Dess and Carol had.

Sure, both of them being lovable, but very headstrong jackasses would cause occasional tension, but they always made up quickly... only to butt horns again.

Rudy was so glad they finally had clear enough heads to realize they weren't so different and wanted the same thing, to be understood by eachother.

Rudy couldn't risk being seen, it would ruin the moment. As he retreated his head back to the living room, Carol gave him a knowing look.

He smiled sheepishly, knowing damn well she was going to give him her iconic 'you shouldn't have done that... but I still appreciate that you checked in.' talk when they were alone.

He plopped back on the couch and smiled warmly as he shifted his gaze back at the kitchen once more.

Dess was still embracing her Mom, she  still rested her head against her sturdy and reliable shoulder, she cried tears of happiness. She couldn't wait to see how proud Gerson would be that she managed all of that without even practicing her words... just the tone, and keeping a cool head.

That was a stretch, the words came out of Dess as an awkward and shaky ramble... but what mattered was she wasn't angry, she wasn't trying to 'settle the score', she was just excited to finally smooth the lone, but repetitive bump in her amazing relationship with Mom.

Dess sleepily looked up at Carol, who watched her gently, but protectively.

Carol understood her expression before Dess had even conjured the words in her mind, and gently let go of the hug.

"I'm fucking exhausted...." Dess mumbled as her eyes drooped involuntarily.

"I'mjustgonnadodadishes." Her words merged into one long mumble as a yawn interrupted her mid sentence.

"I can handle them, Dessie. You look like you can barely stand, if you want your Dad or I can help you upstairs.", Carol assured in a high voice she'd almost forgot how to use.

Noelle was sensitive to high pitched sounds so the last time Carol had used that voice to soothe one of her daughter's was when was Dess was 11 or 12. Once she became a teen, Dess pretended to not like the voice as a way to feel cool... so Carol stopped using it, even though she knew Dess still liked it.

Dess shook herself a wake a little, "Nah, I should be good, all I gotta do is brush my teeth and climb into bed."

Carol's instincts told her to guide Dess to her room anyways, but she refused, that wasn't her choice to make.

Carol would let her daughter find her own path, she wasn't her little girl anymore, but she could never forget December was once her little girl.

"Shit!", Dess groaned as she sleepily stumbled into the counter directly across from the dining room table. Dess moved to the left, staying close to the counter so she could put a hand on it to help her balance.

It didn't help as Dess continued to stumble.

Before Carol could ask if she wanted assistance, Dess let out a low growl of irritation, "Fucck meeee!", as she stumbled in to another counter, the one that opened up to entrance of the kitchen.

The embarrassment woke up Dess enough for her sheepishly signal to Mom she'd need someone to make sure she didn't stumble into more things.

Carol gave an understanding smile, "You've had a long day, you've had an exhausting day, mistakes happen when you're tired, and that's okay Dess.", Carol's eyes watered slightly at that... she was saying 98% to her daughter... but also a tiny bit for herself... Carol was never spoken to that kindly by Ivy, not once was something nice done for Carol out of genuine care by her mother...

Carol had not only broken the cycle... but continued to be better after all these years... even with all the disagreements, Carol never turned her back on Dess... Carol would never consider doing that to any of her loved ones, let alone her two daughters.

Carol was still being the Mother she never had, Carol's genuine love for her two amazing daughters filled her with the warmth and safety Ivy had denied Carol her entire life... 

Carol wiped away the moisture from her eyes and smiled... she'd never admit she was tired in front of her mother... but Dess had... Carol would never ask for help from her mother... but Dess did happily... Carol would never open up and call out her mother when she was falling short... and Dess had, several times... Carol grimaced at the idea of physical contact with Ivy... too many bad memories of Ivy forcing Carol to hug and be close to maintain the facade of normality.... even though behind closed doors... Carol would never even think of being unconscious in the same room as Ivy... let alone sprawled out in her pajamas.

Carol was getting distracted... it wasn't about her mother... this was about Dess and herself.

Carol smiled at Dess as she softly took in relaxed breaths and started to doze off, Carol approached her daughter and put a gentle hand on Dess's back to keep her steady.

Dess wasn't really sure what Carol had said, but it had soothed her right back into the daze of sleep.

"OhshitttCarulI'mgonnapassout..... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

Dess did her best to sound coherent but she fell asleep before she could even finish the sentence, she lied slumped over top of the counter as she took, light, even breaths in and out.

Carol looked at her daughter tenderly, "Angel damn it December, you've only been an adult for a year and you've already mastered the art of passing out on household furniture... It took me almost two years, and your Dad just over three years.", She sweetly whispered the joke to herself.

Carol could do things the easy way, wake Dess up and guide her to bed...

She could call for Rudy and have both of them carry her... no if she called for Rudy the noise might wake her little Dessie or Ellie up.

And Dess looked so peaceful, Carol couldn't bring herself to interrupt her daughters precious sleep.

It seemed she would have to do it the hard way, the stubborn way. The Holiday way.

Carol gently wrapped her arms around her daughter's torso, softly guiding her down so she was lying on the floor parallel to the counters.

Carol shook her head as a chortle escaped her. She and Dess were so damn stubborn it would have been funny, had they not constantly butted horns as she became an older teen... due to Carol's inability to move on from the past.

If given a basic shape puzzle, both Holiday women would bash the square peg into the circle hole until one eventually matched the other.

Carol had some experience with nursing and first aid, she should have no issues bringing Dess to the couch at the minimum.

Carol carefully rehearsed the fireman's carry in her head until she finally had Dess off the floor with her left arm and leg over her shoulders.

"Rudy! Rudy! Carol hissed anxiously, lightly knocking her hoof on the door for her husband's assistance.

Rudy quickly opened the door for her, he looked dumbfounded, but stepped back for Carol to pass through.

She shuffled herself into a position where Dess would fit through the door, and passed through.

She was through, but as she stepped forward with her rear leg, she let out a curse as her shin collided with the doorway.

"Shit, shit, shit", Carol hissed under her breath as she stumbled forward, her firm grip on December's arm and leg tightened slightly.

"Rudolph! Save it for later!" I need you to open her bedroom door for me." She commanded quickly, but not harshly.

He nodded, then sprinted upstairs, and opened Dess's bedroom door. Rudy waited near the bottom to the stairs by the time Carol slowly and but steadily crossed the living room.

Carol inhaled and exhaled deeply each step she took up the stairs, everything was going well, even though her legs burned.

Carol felt herself fall backwards as she neared the top so she gripped Dess tighter and leaned even farther forward for the last three steps,

Carol and made it up fine, Dess was fine, but her calves burned and her exhausted body was a little sore from sitting in an office chair all day... and then doing something that physically demanding.

"Rudy, assistance.", Carol asked as politely, but as quickly as she could muster once she cleared the stairs. She didn't like the briefly bemused expression replaced by amused grin that formed across Rudy's face.

"I don't think you're the one who needs assistance Carol... you fuckin' pantsed Dess!", He laughed softly.

Carol's tunnel vision, focused only on ensuring her daughter wasn't being hurt, faded slightly, her peripheral vision realized the black fabric of underwear resting on her shoulder, rather than the white pajama pants like it should have been.

Carol pursed her lips and exhaled in exasperation.

She profusely apologized to Dess as much as she could inside her head, her daughter had a long enough day as is.

Rudy quickly hurried over and fixed the pants situation without a comment.

Carol carefully carried Dess through the doorway, making sure neither of them bumped anything on the way through.

Carol gave an appreciative look to Rudy as he helped gentlt lie Dess on her bed.

With Dess safely on her bed, Carol exhaled a shaky breath, "You mind tucking her in? I need to sit down." She asked softly. He nodded affirmatively.

But as Carol turned around and took a step forward, she suddenly fell to her knees, with a quiet, but noticeable thud.

All of the invincibility from her motherly adrenaline dump had vanished, the full pain from bashing her shin downstairs hit at once.

"You alright honey?", Rudy asked calm and comfortingly, but his face was contorted with concern.

Carol took quick breaths through her teeth as she answered, "I'm OK. Just, the pain of bashing my shin only hit me now."

"That's good at least, think you can make it downstairs?", He whispered softly.

Before Carol could answer, Dess stirred and slowly awoke, startling both her and Rudy.

Dess sat up and yawned, "The hell happened?", Last thing I remember I was in the kitchen."

Rudy knelt next to the bed, he expected Carol's imposing gaze against the back of his head... daring him to bring up her blunder, but instead he felt something softer and more encouraging.

"Well first, you tried to sleep walk all the way to your room from the dining room. You didn't even make it past the kitchen."

Rudy explained softly, holding his light teasing back briefly.

Dess fuzzily remembered trying to leave the kitchen, but not much else.

Rudy continued his objective description of the unintended hilarity.

"Not to be outdone in stubborness, Carol decided she would fireman carry you to your room, she bashed her shin against the door frame while leaving the kitchen... it's why she is sitting on the floor behind me.", Rudy chuckled softly.

Dess covered mouth to hide her dumb grin as she snickered into her hand.

"Oh? You think that part was funny? The good bit was when Carol had made it to the top of the stairs, she stumbled forward, she tightened her grip on your arm and pant leg, accidentally pantsing you."

Carol quickly tried to blurt an apology from the floor, but was interrupted by Dess doubling over, each of her attempts to laugh being nothing more than shaky wheezes at the absurdity of it all.

"He's fucking with me, isn't he Mom. There's no way you're capable of being that funny even by accident." Dess managed to say somewhat audibly.

"No offense.", Dess quickly interjected.

"He's being honest, that happened and I-", Carol's second apology was cut
short as the wheezes from Dess became uncontrolled laughter she muffled for a pillow.

"That's fucking hilarious, please please please tell me it was recorded in some way! I gotta see for myself.", Dess stated once she found her composure.

Rudy leaned closer to Dess, and whispered the joke he made when it happened, and how he heroically stepped in to save the day.

"Damnit Dad you fucking prick, I'm not going to be able to get back to sleep after learning this!", Dess answered as laughter regained control of her.

Carol rose to her feet, her icy features temporarily melted with a massive smile seeing Dess laughing at something so... silly.

Her composure returned as she lowered herself next to Rudolph, wrapping an arm around his shoulders for support as she knelt down.

Carol giggled a little at Dess being happy, it made her happy... she had to admit her accidentally pantsing Dess under such ridiculous circumstances was a little funny... it was still extremely mortifying, but a little humorous as well.

Carol was more than just stonefaced, she was iron willed and rarely felt embarrassed, it felt odd, like butterflies in her stomach.

Dess finally got her laughing under control as she gasped for air.

"You alright Mom? Dad said you bashed your shin pretty hard.", Dess asked concerned.

Carol felt the instinct to lie rising towards her mouth, but she choked it down and answered honestly, "I am hurt a little, but all I'll need is an icepack and it will only be sore for a few hours."

Dess's face morphed from concern to relief to mischief, "I'm gonna get you back for this.", she joked, failing at sounding remotely threatening.

Carol scoffed, "Like hell you will.", she firmly, but playfully retorted.

Dess didn't fully concede, "Maybe I will, maybe I won't.", She smirked.

"But that's for later, I've gotta brush my teeth and try and sleep now.", Dess slid out of bed as she said that, Rudy moved out of the way so Dess could exit her bed and so he could help Carol stand.

"I love you so much Dad, goodnight.", She whispered quietly and hugged him tight, not as tight as the rib crusher she gave Mom, but enough for him to tap on her shoulder signifying it was too tight.

"I love ya' too, my Rockstar.", Rudy answered in his quiet, but deep and supportive rumble.

Dess gave a gentle hug to her Mom, putting her arms over Carol's, and resting her head on her shoulder. "I love you too Mom, goodnight.", She mumbled softly, sleepiness slowly returning to her after that bout of excitement.

Dess gently let go of the hug, as funny as it was to try another rib crusher on Mom, one knocked the wind out of her pretty bad, and she was already breathing heavy.

"I love you too sweetie.", Carol softly proclaimed.

With a limp and assistance from Rudy, Carol comfortably exited Dess's room and returned downstairs, Dess left her room right behind them, and went to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

Carol flopped onto the couch, making a soft noise of relief as she sunk into its cushions.

"You going to be alright honey?, Rudy's gaze shifted to her slightly red shin.

"Yes, I will. I'm just going to rest a little before I do the dishes.", Carol confirmed.

Rudy paused and scratched his beard.

"I can handle doing the dishes. You already did them today when you cleaned up after making cookies.", Carol assured.

"Welp, if yah say so, I'm going to get ready for bed, give me a holler if you need help walking.", He shrugged, his voice light and friendly.

Carol was exhausted, work as usual, had been tiring... but her decision to carry Dess up a flight of Angel damn stairs was far from her finest idea.

Despite the pain of hitting her leg on the door and the embarrassment that followed, seeing Dess laugh like an innocent kid again made all of that worth it.

Carol slowly stood up, her shin hurt, but she was more than comfortable walking on it. She had to get started on the dishes now or she might fall asleep on the couch.

Rudy took off his sweater and tossed it in the hamper, as he exited the ensuite bathroom.

He had already trimmed his goatee and brushed his teeth, his mind drifted to Carol and December.

He was so happy to see them finally get through to each other after several years of those petty arguments where teenage rebellious clashed with overprotectiveness.

He understood Carol, he himself was... no he still was very overprotective of Dess, he just hid it with a laidback facade...

Both had been rather strict and overprotective with Dess at times... it was the only way to keep their baby girl safe from...

Ivy wasn't relevant anymore... but damnit... both Rudy and Carol still felt her presence... even with Noelle.

Rudy had Carol do most of the dirty work of enforcing some of his overprotective policies for Dess and Noelle... while he played the "fun" Dad...

Rudy still acted pretty strict times as well out of instinct.

Rudy's stomach churned recalling how casual Dess had mentioned losing consciousness after pretty intense physical exertion... Dess could be rather impulsive and thrill seeking at times. She'd inherited that from him though.

His overprotectiveness had a big part to play with the curfews as well, maybe tomorrow night he could have a talk and apologize to his little Rockstar for his part in being so strict.

But he had all weekend for that, Rudy went to the kitchen to check on Carol.

Dess slid into bed, it was warm, it was cozy, it was safe.

Although it wasn't the bed itself that made it feel so secure... It was who who would be at its side if she needed something.

Even if she couldn't tell them about the nightmare, the mere presence of Mom and Dad would warm the cold that cut her so deeply.

She didn't have to feel cold after the warmness ended, she could still be warm... she didn't have to make herself cold just to feel warm...

Dess could just feel warm, and if she couldn't make herself feel warm, she had people who could help without hesitation.

Dess slipped into sleep, her face once again slowly melted into a relaxed, relieved expression.

Maybe this time she'd have a good dream.

Chapter Text

Dess slowly awoke from the warm haze of sleep as she rolled across her bed to check her clock.

10:03

"Damn.", Dess mumbled.

She loved sleeping in, but she wanted to spend as much of the day as possible with Asriel, it had been... almost a month since they last hung out properly. Their last date was on Valentine's Day for Angel's sake... and it was already halfway through April.

Dess missed the big fuzzy dumbass, it would probably take every ounce of self control to not pull him into a bear hug and spin him around a couple times.

It probably wouldn't end well anyways, Azzie was only three inches taller than Dess, but the Dreemurr's had big, dense frames and even though Asriel wasn't a tank like his Dad, he weighed a lot more than Dess did.

Dess stretched and rolled out of bed, an exaggerated yawn escaped her as she stretched a second time with a toe touch once she rose to her feet.

Dess went to her closet to get dressed, throwing on a sports bra, tan, baggy cargo pants, and a belt. Baggy pants were comfy, but without a belt they were just annoying and a distraction that constantly needed to be adjusted.

Dess grabbed an army green muscle shirt, it would be perfect to wear on a warm spring day like this

"Damnit.", She muttered with disappointment and realization... the large, attention grabbing cut on her bicep was visible in that shirt.

Dess would have to wear something else. Another top caught Dess's eye, she grabbed the black, cropped hoodie and put it on, then stood in front of the mirror.

It fit perfectly, stopping below her natural waistline, showing just a little bit of midriff.

Today was going to be warm, but was going a breeze, so the long sleeves were an even better choice if she wanted to look good for herself while staying warm. 

Dess made her way downstairs, she was hungry as hell. She didn't eat much of her soup and sandwich last night on account of being tired. Tired of course meant passing out on the counter.

Dess  opened the door to the kitchen and made her way to the fridge.

"Morning Dess!!" Noelle enthusiastically greeted her older sister from the dining room table, nearly bouncing out of her chair.

"Noelle, be careful sweetie.", Carol gently asked her youngest daughter to settle down.

"Sup Ellie. Sup Mom. How's it hanging?", Dess asked casually.

"Mom is taking me to the Delta City Museum! I'm going to see some cool ice age megafauna! Did you know there was an ancient beaver called the Castoroides that was seven feet head to tail? And did you know of the Megaloceros? It was a giant deer that had antlers 11 feet wide!!" Noelle eagerly responded, her voice brimmed with excitement.

"I did not Ellie, that's pretty cool.", Dess answered, genuinely interested in Noelle's facts. Well, she knew the deer one from Azzie. But Noelle didn't have to know that.

Noelle continued her excited description of her itinerary, "The museum is set up in a super cool way so that you start with the oldest fossils, from almost 600 million years ago and it ends with the youngest ones, that are only a few thousand years old!! It's like walking through the distant past towards the present!"

"That's, pretty Angel damn fuckin' cool! Maybe another day I could join you!", Dess answered enthusiastically.

Carol nodded with a warm smile, "That would be lovely, Noelle and I would love that. Just... watch your language Dess.", Carol corrected firmly, but kindly.

"Maybe we could do a family trip there before you go to college.", Carol suggested warmly. It sounded like a fun way to say goodbye to her Dessie for the few years she'd be off for college. Carol also, rather selfishly, wanted an excuse to get even a single day off of work that wasn't a weekend.

Noelle bounced excitedly, "Really?! You mean it Mom!?! That sounds awesome!", Noelle chirped joyfully, making Dess and Carol smile at how sweet their Ellie was.

"Yes, but that's still a few months away.", Carol added, encouraging Noelle to calm down a little.

"Fahaha! Sorry about that, I'm just really excited about today and the future.", She answered politely.

"It's okay Noelle, you have every right to be excited, today is an exciting day. Just make sure you don't yell too much, you'll give yourself a headache.", Carol assured as she creatively got Noelle to be a little quieter.

"What Mom said, Ellie.", Dess added coolly.

Noelle gave a warm, appreciative look to both her Mom and her Sister, then returned to politely taking small bites of her pancakes.

"Which coffee you brew this morning Mom? Did you make the stuff that has enough caffeine to give a whale a heart attack?"

Dess teased as she poured some into a large cup, then added cream that turned it a medium-light brown.

Dess did like coffee, but she only got to enjoy it on the weekends, the stuff Mom drank on weekdays to get her through the grueling hours as Mayor was probably banned in several countries.

"Food should still be warm, I put it in the oven and set it to a low temperature in case you slept in.", Carol explained as Dess grabbed a plate from the cupboard.

"Thanks Mom.", Dess turned to express her appreciation, grabbing bacon, pancakes and hashbrowns.

Dess sat next to Noelle at the table, and gently placed her plate beside her.

"Doin' anything other than the museum?", Dess inquired curiously. She'd have to ask Carol to get her some comfy clothes that weren't available in Hometown.

"Mom's taking me clothes shopping because she knows they'll have clothes I that don't make me itchy in the city. But more importantly, I heard that a tabletop version of Dragon Blazers 2 released recently. And I really want it.", Noelle spoke happily, awkwardly stumbling over some of the words from excitement.

"Sweet, maybe we could play it tomorrow after church with Kris and Asriel, or maybe tonight when Mom and I get home.", Dess suggested, Noelle gave a thumbs up, she was chewing her food and didn't want to be rude by speaking.

Dess turned to her Mom, "Mind getting me some more women's boxer briefs, and some Christmas themed hoof socks? Since this hick town isn't sophisticated enough to have those in stock.", Dess snuck a joke into her request.

Carol briefly looked away to hide her grin, she couldn't let December know she found the comment about Hometown being rural a little endearing, or it would be the only joke she would make until it became annoying.

"That's MY hick town you are insulting young lady... but, I can do that for you no problem Dess.", Carol answered, switching her tone from a playfully cool and firm, to warm and assuring.

Noelle hid a chuckle, she was focused on her soft, fluffy pancakes, but even with the distraction Noelle could tell when Mom and Dess were joking around, even if the things they joked about weren't funny or didn't make sense.

Once Dess and Noelle had finished breakfast, they put their plates up by the sink, thanked their Mom; and headed to the living room.

"We don't leave for another ten or fifteen minutes, so we should have enough time to play a match or two of Super Smashing Fighters Clash:" Noelle explained as she turned on the Wii and gave a controller to Dess.

Noelle chose her character right away, The Frost Sorceress. Being the only character Noelle knew how to play, and she thought she looked kind of pretty... especially because of her makeup, and her regal, light blue gown.

Dess took her time, partly because she was good at several characters for tournament counter picks, and partly because she wanted to tease Noelle, who remained her adorably respectful and mild-mannered self... even as she impatiently tapped her hoof on the floor.

Dess decided she'd play as the King Of Thorns, she hadn't used him in a while, and it was fucking cool that they even got the licensing rights from Dragon Blazers to put him, and a few other of their characters into this game at all. Plus, the Frost Queen was one of the Thorn KIng's worst matchup and Ellie needed every advantage she could get.

Both selected the same stage, being immensely grateful they could save their preferred settings without constantly having to turn off the default items and modifiers.

They probably could have just found another fighting game that was less casual oriented, but they liked this one the best.

The pre fight cutscene was about to begin, signaling both of them to focus.

Dess thought the cutscene cinematics were cheesy, but each character had several lines of unique dialogue for every other character.

Dess hoped the voice actors got paid well for that.

Frost Sorceress: "There is no need to fight! If we can have a discussion, cooler heads can prevail!"

King Of Thorns: "Fighting is my only choice, like the thorns on a leaf... I am the sharp deterrent that protects my people."

Once the cutscene ended, Noelle started with her usual strategy of spamming the frost orb projectile. Even though in Clash, Queen's frost orb had awful frame data and was super unsafe.

Dess leaned forward, if Ellie was going to do that, she wouldn't get any mercy.

Round one didn't last very long, barely thirty seconds. Despite being a midtier, Thorn King had so many good, safe options to get close and burn a bar of meter to make up for his less than stellar damage, and then get out and win through chip with his obnoxious zoning. He'd be at the top of A, if his hitbox wasn't comically large.

Dess knew she was a tryhard, but she didn't care, she generally placed middle of the road at nationals and was good enough to get a podium finish more often than not at regionals.

Dess had to be a tryhard to maintain her skills, especially because Asriel was nearly her equal and she couldn't let him surpass her.

"Learn your lesson about projectile spam?",
Dess playfully taunted, challenging Noelle to go all out.

"Yeah!", Noelle responded competitively. Dess smiled, she loved seeing her quiet, reserved Ellie get fired up and confident when she was happy and having fun. Dess was also interested to see what Asriel had taught Noelle.

Noelle somehow snagged out the second round, but Dess dominated the tie breaker even more than she dominated the first, not because Noelle was playing bad, but because she was so happy she won a round she was barely playing.

Dess had to give Noelle credit, she did really damn good in round two.

Noelle had even remembered to use Queen's bread and butter combos Dess and Azzie had shown her a while back, and executed them consistently under pressure, despite some of the difficult quarter and half circles they required.

Noelle had also realized how brutal The Frost Sorceress's anti zoning was. She had ice armor that heavily reduced chip, the icicle pillars that could block off parts of the map vertically and horizontally, as well as the janky ice teleport, that couldn't be interrupted by damage like it was supposed to in every other Smashing Fighters.

It's why Dess had picked her up, despite her being in high B, only a few spots above the Thorn King, Frost Sorceress actually saw occasional tournament play as counter pick to Mech-Machine and PogDude who were S tier zoners.

But that's what made Clash so endearing, it was kind of the black sheep of the franchise, being grittier and a little more competitively friendly, even if it took a few patches to make the meta balanced, if a little top heavy.

"I'm super proud of you, you did awesome during that second round, Ellie! You're getting good!", Dess complimented delightedly.

Noelle rocked with excitement, "Thanks Dess! That means a lot, because you're the best at this game in the world!"

"I sure am!", Dess gloated confidently, she was far from it, but that would break Noelle's innocent little heart.

Carol entered the living room quietly, "Sorry to interrupt the fun, girls... but it's time to go. Before the museum gets busy.", she spoke gently and sympathetically.

Noelle looked a little bummed as she shut off the Wii, but it didn't last long. She gave her older sister a big hug.

"Bye Dess! I'll see you tonight! I'll tell you about all the cool fossils!", She chirped cheerfully. Dess smiled at how adorable and whimsical Noelle always was, and knelt down to hug her tight.

"See yah 'round Ellie, love you too."

Noelle let go of the hug and excitedly waved to Dess as she ran outside to the driveway and hopped in the back of Carol's car with a 'fahaha'.

Carol smiled at Dess and gave her a hug as well. Then, with a smirk, she playfully whispered, "Hope you and your boyfriend have fun today, I know it's been a while since you and Asriel had the day together... so I and Rudy pulled some strings."

Dess subdued a snort, "Thanks Carol, I love you too.", She answered casually, but she was pleasantly surprised her Mom had wingwomaned her.

"Love you too December.", Carol returned affectionately as she made her way to the car and drove through the front gate, getting out to close it behind her.

Dess went to the kitchen to wash dishes and pass the time until Asriel showed up. She finished with a few minutes to spare.

Dess looked over as the front door opened and Asriel stepped inside with his usual polite wave.

"Howdy Dess! How's your morning been?", Asriel asked warmly as he took off his shoes and sat on the couch next to her, sliding an arm around Dess's shoulder.

"It was pretty good, Noelle taught me some stuff about ice age megafauna.", Dess answered coolly, resisting the urge to flirt right away, even though Azzie's arm around her shoulder made that difficult.

"Then we played Smashing Fighters, and Noelle won her first round against me through her own merit. Even if it was Frost Queen vs Thorn King, she still improved a ton."

Asriel smiled, "Good for her! She's a quick learner."

Dess subtly put her arm around Asriel's shoulder as well, this wasn't anything unusual, but Dess missed choirboy.

"I'm jealous of you and Noelle, Kris gnawed on my leg while I ate breakfast, then they shot me with their nerf gun and hit me with a roll of cardboard... pretending they were a pirate. I had to give them 3 bucks in quarters from my nightstand before they ceased their assault on my cruiser." Asriel chuckled warmly.

"What? Are you not feeding them or something?", Dess quipped back playfully.

Asriel made a deep, but soft groan of disappointment, just like the one Dad had made at Mom's identical joke.

"I'm guessing Toriel beat me to the punch with that one?", Dess asked lightly, knowing the answer.

He nodded, "What's the plan for today? Asriel asked interestedly, then he made his suggestion.

"I was thinking we could hang out at Pizzapant's place for an hour or two, he's got some new movies in his collection."

Dess paused, she was being really selfish, Pizzapants was a great friend, and Asriel's bestie, not including herself of course. He was awesome to be around, but Dess wanted Azzie to herself this weekend. Carol even got everyone out of the house, and town just for them.

"I was hoping it would be just us, if that's alright? I want to go for a hike, a really long hike." She asked kindly, but firmer than intended.

"That's not a problem at all!", He answered sweetly, making Dess smile at how kind and adorable Asriel was, but in a more manly way than he used to be.

"My Mom convinced me to bring a ton of snacks and water, even though I told her it was going to be a slow, laid back day today.", Asriel commented happily.

"Fahaha! I haven't packed anything! I'll be back in five minutes." Dess explained quickly as she scurried upstairs and then grabbed things from the kitchen.

One she had returned with a backpack, they left the Holiday house and walked east to the stream, making their way to the bridge a mile or so south downstream.

As they got close to the far side of the old wooden bridge, Dess couldn't help but jump a little.

The bridge groaned and wobbled under the impact, making Asriel grip the shaky railing tighter and hurriedly jog to the safety of solid ground, he laughed while pretending to run and scream in terror as though the bridge would actually collapse.

Dess giggled as she followed him along the trail going further east, Asriel slowed his pace as Dess caught up to him and grabbed something from her backpack. It was the bag of sugar cookies Rudy gave her last night.

"These aren't ordinary sugar cookies, they have weed, my Dad made them for me.", Dess whispered as though she was advertising a smuggled firearm.

Asriel looked intrigued, "What's the recommended serving? I imagine he was pretty firm about it."

"He was dead serous about eating no more than two. They take about half an hour to an hour to kick in", Dess stated plainly.

Asriel and Dess ate two cookies, they were delicious, the frosting was heavenly and the dough was soft. Now all they had to do was be their usual dumbass selves, until the pot made them even dumber dumbasses.

Dess put her backpack on and continued into the forest with Asriel at her side, they looked up at the massive trees and the dense forest canopy.

It made them smile in nostalgia from their couples camping trip just right around Valentines last year, they went fishing, hiking, nature watching.... and Asriel had initiated their first kiss on the lips around the campfire, a very welcome but shocking role reversal to Dess.

They went deeper into the forest, the trees shrunk to somewhat normal sizes, remaining very tall and imposing, but the bushes and shrubs larger than a person.

"Damn, do you know how many gas stations they could put here?", Dess joked as she stared at the flat maze of, majestic trees that surrounded them.

Asriel stifled a giggle, "Those gas stations are pretty cool and all, but what we really need is another six lane superhighway right in the middle of this useless nature. It isn't generating enough tourism revenue."

Dess's chortles and Asriel's giggles were cut off by the sun's blinding halo as the dense forest gradually cleared on the left, revealing a gorgeous, lively valley ahead of them.

They leaned against the high railing, and rested their hands on the other's waists as they stared at the familiar, but still mesmerizing natural wonder they frequented during the spring and summer.

"This view is just like you.", Dess commented casually.

"In what sense?", Asriel asked, a little confused. His awkwardness emboldened Dess.

"No matter how many times I look at you, you're just as gorgeous.", Dess answered playfully, both turned slightly red, then giggle.

"Where do you come up with these?"

Dess shrugged, she wasn't sure, sometimes they just appeared in her head. A few minutes later, they resumed their walk.

The forest closed in on them until the path thinned out, forcing them to walk single file, and duck under branches and leaves blocking the trail. Asriel decided to take the lead as the taller and wider of the two.

The path got steep as the forest floor became a little hilly, then slowly flattened. The trees got even denser as they trekked further into the forest until they found a fork in the trail. To the inexperienced eye, it looked like the trees had consumed and barricaded one of the paths.

The path split off, one continued forward, the other led into a secluded clearing, big enough to put a small, two person camper trailer if one could theoretically get it there.

As they shuffled into the clearing, Asriel and Dess noticed several wide tree stumps close together that could work perfectly as makeshift chairs.

It hadn't been long enough for the edibles to properly kick in, maybe 50 minutes or so but it was a perfect spot to sit down, they'd be in full effect pretty soon.

Dess and Asriel sat next to eachother and put their backpacks in front of them, grabbing their waters and taking a drink.

"What did you pack for snacks Azzie? I brought m&m's, two small bags of doritos, some jerky and a few granola bars to be healthy."

"That's not healthy at all. I brought a gala apple, some cheese slices with whole-wheat crackers, some assorted vegetables and a bar of dark chocolate for my sweet tooth."

Dess scoffed, "Asriel, this isn't elementary school, you don't have to eat whatever your Mom gives you."

"I packed this lunch myself, thank you very much, I even packed extra because I know you'll want some of mine. I'd expect a two sport athlete to follow her diet., Asriel corrected formally, but teased for the other half, which made Dess grin.

They didn't very eat much of their snacks, just enough to hold themselves off until the munchies of the edibles came into play.

The world gradually slowed down a little as the edibles started to kick in.

"Damn, Dess... your Dad knows his shit.", Asriel lazily complimented.

"Uh, yeah. He's been making edibles for 20 years dumbass.", Dess answered playfully, her tone also relaxed.

"Hey, I'd just rather not have a repeat of what happened at Pizzapant's place.", Asriel clarified, Dess nodded in agreement, it ended decently.. but holy shit not a good way for Asriel to experience his first high. At least all the other times Pizzapants stuck to blunts.

It wasn't that horrid, but they were pretty paranoid for the first two hours or so until the edibles fully kicked in. Pizzapants was a master at rolling blunts, and had connections to an amazing grower... but Dess and Asriel agreed they'd never touch his edibles again.

Asriel didn't realize how scratchy his shirt suddenly was, so he took it off, putting it in his backpack and exchanging it for the bar of dark chocolate, splitting some with Dess and giving her a roughly equal piece.

"Thanks, Az.", Dess said as she ate the chocolate bar, it tasted particularly bitter, but still sweet enough to tolerate.

Asriel stared at his half intently and mumbled philosophically, "Does the existence of dark chocolate and the existence of white chocolate... imply that there was chocolate segregation?", He wasn't sure why that was the question his brain landed on... he knew the answer anyways.

Maybe it wasn't about the answer, but how he got there. Unfortunately for Asriel, he would never truly know as Dess suddenly sat on his lap, leaning herself into him and grabbing the chocolate from his hand, taking it for herself.

"C'mon Dess! Not cool.", Asriel calmly scolded. Dess just laughed at him. Asriel reached around Dess to grab some more food from his backpack, voraciously eating the cheese and crackers, ensuring Dess didn't get any as retribution for her transgression.

Dess chuckled and flipped him off, "You said you brought enough to share.", she said in faux indignation.

"You took my chocolate. You only have junk food."

Dess conceded and stood up from Asriel's lap, she went over to her backpack and passed him some m&m's.

He caught them, tore the pakage and poured them in his mouth. They tasted so much better than the dark chocolate, but he'd never admit that.

Asriel wasn't sure why Dess was staring at him like she was, holding back laughs, had she pranked him with the m&m's or something?

"Thanks for the candy Dess, but.... uhhhh. What's so funny?", He asked slowly in bewilderment.

Dess lazily giggled, which turned to snickers and chuckles. "Dude.... I know we're in the forest and all, but you've got wood, or a boner or whatever the hell it's called. Probably from when I sat on your lap."

Asriel wasn't really sure how he hadn't noticed, he chalked it up to being deep in thought about chocolate segregation and the commotion of Dess's chocolate heist.

"Mind if I fix that for you?", Dess blushed as she teased flirtatiously. Asriel gave a puzzled look and tilted his head.

"You know it goes away on its own right? And if it's real persistent I can always rely on cold water in a pinch.", Asriel answered
flatly, he was feigning obliviousness like usual, but too doped out to do the voice, Dess thought he was being serious.

Dess stood up and nudged Asriel so she could sit next to him on the tree stump.

"You fucking dumbass, I meant jerk you off.", Dess blushed crimson as she punched his shoulder.

Asriel stammered, her offer was very appealing, but he'd rather be somewhere that wasn't the forest... he'd much prefer to do this somewhere comfy like a bedroom.

Asriel scratched his chin in hesitation. They were both high... which made things.... iffy. He'd need to think about it.

Dess gave a sympathetic look, "Sorry if you aren't ready for that Azzie.... this weed is making me...", Dess cut herself off with a suppressed giggle.

"Horny? Aroused? Titillated? Lustful? Impassioned? Amorous?", He asked as his brain sluggishly searched for various adjectives contemplatively. 

Dess pressed her thighs together, "Yeah Azzie... I feel all of those.", she answered softly in giddy embarrassment.

Asriel blushed, he was in a similar predicament, clearly not as bad as Dess though. They locked eyes for a few moments and realized... they'd still gladly do this, here and now if they were sober, all the weed had done was speed up the process, alongside the benefit of loosening them up, and making them less awkward in the ways that mattered, but also awkward in all the ways that would be funny to their future, sober selves.

"C'mon choir boy, you know I want this... I know you want this.", Dess chuckled while attempting to be sensual, she sounded more ditzy than anything.

"It's not the ideal location, but I really want this.", He answered confidently. Both had fantasized about it to some degree over the past few years, but understandably never mentioned it to anyone.

They stood up and retreated to the cover of the trees to strip. When they returned, they put their clothes in their backpacks. There was no need to, but both wanted it to be special.

Dess and Asriel sat down on the dirt next to eachother and shared a gaze of awkward, but eager passion. Dess laid on her back, the dirt was surprisingly comfy.

"Mind lending a girl a hand?", Dess flirtatiously giggled. Asriel eagerly nodded as Dess guided his hand to one of her boobs. Asriel caressed it gently. Dess spread her legs a little and looked at Asriel expectantly as he moved his other hand to her thigh.

Asriel spoke confidently, if a little slow. "This might be a surprise to you, but 'innocent' choir boy knows where the clit is.", His boast made Dess erupt into laughter, not mocking laughs, but playful ones.

"Like hell you do! You probably think women pee out of the vagina or something!", Dess teased as she continued to laugh.

Asriel frowned, then chuckled to himself, he knew what Dess was doing... both loved to play dumb, "Dess, I took the exact same sex education class you did in grade 11.", She giggled and smirked at his response.

"Prove it Azzie... try and make me cum, doubt you can.", Dess teased with a wink.

"If you say so...", Asriel shook his head at her teasing as he gladly accepted Dess's challenge.

"Holy shit Azzie..... huff, huff... I didn't think you of all monsters would be a pro... Are you sure that wasn't your first time doing that?", She joked between ragged breaths as she sat up.

Asriel smiled with a shake of his head ensuring it was his first, grabbed the clothes from their backpacks, and tossed Dess's to her.

Dess caught them and and smiled thankfully, then her look changed to disbelief, "Dude, the way you looked me in the eyes, the way you spoke to me, the way you tenderly assured me, made me feel comfortable and safe... you were looking like you've done this before."

Dess knew this was both of their first times, but she expected both of them to be super fumbly, awkward dumbasses about it, especially Asriel.

Asriel wasn't sure why Dess was so impressed, it was pretty easy to be honest... all he had to do was make sure she felt valued, safe and loved, which both of them were already good at and did frequently already.

Although this was the first time Dess had thanked him by making his hand wet, and slightly sticky.... he quickly rubbed it off on his pants leg in flustered realization.

Thanks for passing me my clothes Azzie, but... I thought you wanted me to give you a hand too?", Dess asked uncertainly as he began sliding into his pants. She thought it was best to double check if he was still up for it.

Asriel responded confidently, "I mean, I'm feeling up for it, and I really want to... just.", Then his confidence vanished, leaving only uncertainty. Asriel fidgeted in embarrassment.

"Dess, please don't laugh... but, I've never, actually  or orgasmed intentionally before... I've had some wet dreams... but that's it. I've had the urges, but never had the opportunity to for obvious reasons.

Dess gave a kind, sympathetic look. "It's all right Azzie, I won't judge you.", She assured softly. Dess quickly continued, she shouldn't press but she was kind of curious to know.

"I mean this respectfully... but how disciplined are you Asriel? If I was in your position of never cumming... I'd be a frustrated, and exhausted mess... yet you're so patient, laid-back and... what's the word?", Dess trailed off as she tapped her head and stuck out her tongue slightly in concentration.

"Chaste?"

"Yeah that.", Dess answered quickly.

Asriel just shrugged, he wasn't sure himself, he found Dess very attractive that way... but his romantic and platonic attraction for Dess was just so much stronger that he never bothered because he was more than satisfied with being Dess's best friend and soulmate.

Asriel took his pants back off, but decided he'd leave his shirt on, it was a cool, spring afternoon and even with the trees blocking the breeze, it wasn't the warmest.

Asriel laid down in a similar position Dess had, she sat down beside him, she had her pants on, but hadn't put her sweater or bra back on.

Asriel looked at Dess the way Dess had looked at Asriel, she looked gorgeous and strong as she assured him. He smiled softly at her hazel eyes, her abs.... and her...

Asriel felt himself get warm in his face alongside a throbbing between his legs.

Dess smiled affectionately at her choir boy, she wanted to giggle and gently tease him at how the mere sight of her tits made him rock hard... but... that would be a cruel, jackass move... he was super vulnerable at the moment, Asriel needed assurance, he needed tenderness like he had given her, he was playful after... but in the moment he was nothing but strong and comforting.

Azzie had selflessly dedicated himself to her pleasure with no judgment, no games, nothing but care for Dess.

Both of them would have been genuinely hurt and cried badly if the other joked with, or mocked them during a moment of vulnerability like that, even playfully, it destroy the others trust. Both knew better than that.

Dess gently embraced him, "Everything's all right Azzie, you work so hard to make me, to make everyone happy... it's ok to let go of the reigns and just... relax for a little. Just walk me through what's best for you, it's your pleasure Asriel... you get to decide, right now, I'm just here to help make it happen the way you did for me."

Asriel smiled at that, "Thanks Dess, I'm ready.", Asri confidently whispered as they locked eyes.

Dess began, she would be tender, and comforting, she would make sure he felt secure, strong and loved beyond measure.

Because Asriel was all of those things, because Dess loved him that way.

Soft sighs of relief escaped Asriel as he laid against the comfortable forest floor warmed by his body heat, his breathing slowly returned to normal, but the fluttering in his soul remained.

Dess quickly passed Asriel his clothes, knowing he'd probably want to cover himself as the rush of passion and excitement faded to contentment and affection.

Dess smiled warmly at him, "Mind if I ask how many? My focus was on keeping you safe and assured... I only really saw the aftermath.." Dess questioned curiously as she helped prop Asriel up against the tree stump so he could slide into his clothes.

"Three...", Asriel grinned with a relieved exhale, making Dess blurt out in surprise, "Holy shit dude! Thats... impressive as hell, you clearly needed that more than I did... I only needed two."

Asriel chuckled at Dess's genuine surprise, which made Dess snicker... it was funny, to them at least. This was a different type of vulnerability then before.

Dess regained her composure, and checked back in on Asriel. She couldn't let herself get distracted, they were good at frequent playful flirting... but this was special, an activity relegated to the occasional now and again.

"You feel better now?", Dess asked softly.

"Yeah... it felt.... really, really nice... thanks.", He answered gratefully. Only for Asriel's face to shift to a firm look of.... guilt?

"Dess... you had no obligation to do that, I'm more than grateful you did, but, I've no issues with just making you happy, you've got no need to worry about m-"

Dess embraced Asriel tenderly and cut him off, "It's ok Azzie, I promise this isn't transactional... we do this only when we feel comfortable, when we both want to, like now. We're partners, we're soulmates.", Dess assured with every ounce of gentleness she had.

"We aren't demanding, unreasonable or parasitic for having wants or desires, I promise. I get just as much pleasure from yours as you do mine."

Dess hugged Asriel tightly as she could... the sharp coldness of the nightmare, of the cold hands cutting into her flesh reared its ugly head when Dess made the mistake of choosing the word parasite... but they instantly faded, she was okay, she had Azzie, and he had her. They were warm, they were safe, they were happy. Asriel nuzzled his cheek against Dess's, and hugged her tightly in return, he didn't know, but that gesture meant more than the world itself to Dess.

They slowly disengaged from the hug... they wordlessly agreed it was best they go home soon. They'd finish their snacks and try to clean themselves up. It wouldn't be long before the high would start coming down soon, they weren't sure how the coming down process would turn out.

Getting home early was best, even if it wouldn't be dark for hours. They ate their remaining snacks slowly, making sure to savor each bite.

They did their best to get the dirt and grass out of their clothes, then grabbed their stuff and made their way back to town on the bumpy, confined path, this time with Dess leading.

It took them an hour and a half, but they finally made it back to town.

Asriel and Dess stumbled into QC's diner and put their hands on their knees, trying to catch their breath from how far they had walked.

Other than Mr. Cattenheimer, who wasn't the nosy or judging type to an unparalleled degree, the diner was thankfully empty. Perhaps the supper rush came earlier today.

QC yelped in more shock than intended, "Good heavens Dess and Asriel! What happened to you two?"

Asriel answered, trying to sound convincing despite being honest, "We went on a looooooonnggg hike, as in... we started just after eleven...", He explained between breaths. Dess covered for Asriel as he bent over to take in deeper breaths, giving Dess the money before he did so. "We'd like a large pepperoni pizza please... to stay.", Dess requested as she put the money on the counter.

QC tentatively grabbed it, then recomposed herself, "Of course, you two find your seats and I'll be out with it quickly, you both look famished!"

They slumped in the far booth and sat on opposite sides, sliding to the window.

Sitting down finally allowed them to fully catch their breath. The high had coming down enough that most people wouldn't notice, but it made them groggy, on top of being covered in dirt and being dead tired from hiking way farther into the forest than they should have.

Now that they had sobered up a little, both couldn't help but find it a little funny that their first truly intimate moment was not in a bed, or a private room... but on the mossy, dirt covered, cold forest floor in some tiny obscure clearing nobody else probably even knew existed.

They quietly smirked and giggled while looking at eachother with their heads rested in their palms.

But that wasn't the full truth and both of them knew it. Sure... some of it was funny, and some of it was downright fucking hilarious...

But the way they held eachother, the way they assured eachother, the way they had selflessly dedicated themselves to the other's safety, their comfort, their wellbeing and their pleasure. It may have been silly at some parts, but that's what they were... they were dumbasses who passionately loved eachother with everything they had.

Wide, contented grins wormed their way across Dess and Asriel's faces as they looked deeply into the other's eyes.

Angel, she was so uplifting, strong and resourceful.

Angel, he was so supportive, so reliable, so understanding.

They had satisfied the physical side, but the romantic and platonic love burned within them for so much more, they wanted to continue making the other feel loved, cherished, protected and warm somewhere private.

It made them feel special in a way only the other was capable of. They got so lost in the soothing haze of just being together, just looking at eachother... they didn't notice QC holding the massive plate, standing over them, smiling warmly.

"Pizza is done.", QC spoke quietly, making Dess and Asriel sit up stiffly in embarrassment.

"Thanks.", Both answered quickly and appreciatively.

"You're welcome.", QC responded sweetly, then returned behind the counter. She couldn't help but sneak a glimpse at those two again. If their faces weren't as far apart as they were, she'd have thought Dess and Asriel had been making out just from their expressions. Then again, that's what half of the youth used that back table for.

Both were beyond starving, but they knew trying to eat a pizza that hot would end poorly. Dess's leg bounced restlessly in anticipation, while Asriel hummed a church song to pass the time.

Each gave a synced sigh of frustration, the only thing they cared for was being clean, fed, and hanging out together, somewhere warm and private.

They ate four slices, it was enough, they were pretty dense anyways. Dess and Asriel evenly split the rest, getting takeout boxes from QC.

"Come back soon y'all!", She called sweetly, they quickly waved and ran home as fast as they could once they were out of the diner.

Both went to their own homes as quickly as their exhausted muscles could drag them, Asriel made a detour to help Dess open the absurdly heavy front gate to her house, then returned home and wasted no time showering.

Asriel found it inconvenient, but a necessary sacrifice to make the moment perfect, while Dess thought it was bullshit that basic functions like eating and hygiene had to get in the way of the warmth, the safety they felt together, but hadn't fully expressed.

Dess was so exhausted she didn't even bother putting on pajamas, a bralette and boyshorts would be fine anyways. Azzie was probably a heater to share a bed with.

It was barely six, Mom and Noelle wouldn't be back for an hour, while Dad wouldn't be back until nine. It was barely six and Dess was ready to sleep.

She pinched herself to resist the urge of climbing into bed without Azzie, even if both fell asleep before they wanted, Dess wanted to fall asleep next to her Asriel.

Asriel grabbed a gym bag, dumping everything he'd need to stay the night at the Holiday's with machine like precision. He did everything in his nightly routine to avoid any interruptions once he was with Dess.

"Love you Asriel! Have a good night and have fun.", Toriel sweetly whispered as he opened the front door.

"Love you Mom, tell Kris goodnight for me!", He responded cheerfully as he shut the door behind him.

Dess drowsily sat on the side of her bed... until the doorbell stirred her awake. She woke up slightly as she stepped out of her room, and made her way downstairs as Asriel shut the front door behind him.

Asriel knew he could just come in, but he thought he'd make himself known in case Dess fell asleep.

Both embraced the other tightly, in the middle of the living room. Neither cared it had only been 20 minutes, they had spent most of the day together, but the exhaustion from the hike and the remaining high made it feel like 20 years.

They shambled their way to Dess's room and shut the door behind them. Dess flopped onto her bed face first and rolled herself under the covers, Asriel sat on the edge of Dess's bed, shaking the tiredness away so he could speak.

"Mind taking off my shirt... I'm too Angel damn tired...", Asriel mumbled as he exhaustedly pulled his pants off, nearly taking his boxers with them had he not reacted quickly, Dess smirked at his blunder but quickly looked somewhere else out of respect. 

"Can... do Azzie..." Dess lethargically responded as she pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor.

Asriel rolled under the covers beside Dess, they put an arm on the others shoulder, too tired to properly embrace the other as they laid on their side, close enough to almost touch.

Asriel's focused, green eyes, and Dess's determined, hazel eyes held a longing gaze.

Finally, they were home, they were somewhere warm, they could be alone together, they had expressed the fullest extent of their physical love earlier today...

And after several, exhausting hours, they could fully express how deeply they cared for eachother as friends, as partners, as soulmates.

"Hey, Asriel?"

Yeah, Dess?"

Both had fell asleep with their faces nearly touching before they say another word.

Chapter Text

Dess and Asriel stirred, they felt rejuvenated after such a long, relaxing sleep. They opened their eyes and were greeted by the other, it made them smile with the memories of yesterday.

They disengaged from their attempted embrace and rolled out of bed to stretch. Dess muttered as she touched Asriel's shoulder to show him the time displayed by her alarm clock.

It was just after seven... they had slept for more than 11 Angel damn hours... they needed it, but still... that was a lot.

Both paused for a moment as they felt the call of nature that was routine after such a long sleep.

A game of rock-paper-scissors decided who would get the bathroom first, but Dess threw because Azzie looked like he was about to cry.

Once that was resolved, Dess and Asriel made a detour to the kitchen, they were starving. The leftover pizza from QC's would hold them off while they made something more nutritionally valuable.

The house was quiet and empty, it was just them, everyone had already left for Church... both realized they hadn't bothered to get dressed, Dess and Asriel giggled slightly at the mindlessness of their mistake.

It wouldn't have been the most embarassing thing ever, they were wearing underwear, but it would have been funny and definitely would have got them teased for the next few days.

Asriel finished his pizza first, he grabbed all the ingredients he wanted for breakfast, then turned to Dess, "You want anything? I've no problem making something for you.", he asked politely.

Dess waved a hand dismissively, "I'm good Azzie.", she politely answered from the table.

Asriel had sunny side up eggs with toast, as well as some greek yogurt and a banana.

Dess made scrambled eggs, and when that wasn't filling, made two french toasts... she didn't really want that after eating four eggs... but they were faster than pancakes and there was no reason for Dad to buy that many fucking eggs.

At least Toriel's french toast recipe was delicious and heavenly.

Even the Holidays, who baked pastries constantly, and often fed eight mouths at least one day a week didn't need that many eggs.

Once fed, they returned to Dess's bedroom, crawled back into bed, and pulled the blankets over themselves.

At least Dess ands Asriel had the day together, they could finally do what sleep had interrupted them from doing last night.

Their green and hazel eyes locked into a loving, warm gaze, they embraced eachother and intertwined their legs, both could feel the others chest lightly expand with each soft, relaxed breath.

It was rather obvious, but saying it still made them feel warm and fuzzy, even after three years together... it still had the same weight as the first time they said it.

"I love you so much Asriel."

"I love you so much too, Dess."

Both grew warm as they spoke sweetly, and gently rubbed their cheeks together, a soft kiss on the lips ended the exchange.

Both felt their hearts flutter as they held the kiss, something as simple as this had the same rush of joy as their first proper kiss.

Their eyes glimmered with passion as they slightly moved their heads away and met gazes again, they pulled away and untangled their legs, the bed was warm enough due to their body heat.

Dess moved the pillow because it was getting in the way, she pulled the blanket off so it was just covering their lower halfs. Both knew it was Azzie's fault for being a big fuzzy heater.

They were still close enough to feel the love of the embrace, but they weren't unpleasantly warm. Dess and Asriel quickly returned to their affectionate, passion filled gaze.

After several minutes in that position, with their hands held onto the other's, Dess was the first to speak.

"I know you're late for Church... but I just want to spend as much of the day as possible with only you... I'm not ready to end this."

Asriel let go of one of Dess's hands to comfortingly wrap an arm around her shoulder, he pulled Dess slightly closer, "They can handle service without me for a day, the only thing I want is to be here with you as well."

Dess smiled as she pulled Asriel in for a kiss,  this time she held it for several seconds before she stopped to look appreciatively and meet his full gaze, "Thanks Azzie, I know I'm not the religious type... but I'd like to hear what you had rehearsed sometime today."

Asriel grinned, "That sounds lovely, we could do that later, it's nice that you're taking interest in it.... even if just because of me. Anything you want to talk about now?", Asriel asked warmly and eagerly.

Dess paused contemplatively, she stifled a snicker in her hand as her thoughts returned to yesterday... despite the awkwardness of stumbling home stoned and exhausted from the hike... as well as their little detour in the clearing, Dess would do all of it again without hesitation, without changing a single thing.

"About yesterday.... I.... I really enjoyed everything...", Dess awkwardly paused, despite her efforts to keep talking and explain herself fully. Both flushed crimson as subdued giggles escaped from them.

Asriel wanted to say he enjoyed it too, it was special beyond measure... but Dess already knew he loved it just as much as she did.

"Not just that you immature dumbass! I... genuinely loved every second we were together... hiking, joking and talking in the forest, having pizza at the diner... Angel, I wish every day could just be us going with the flow and being together wherever life takes us."

Asriel gave an understanding look, "Who says we can't? Even with college and everything else, we'll always find time for eachother, we'll always be there for the other.", He assured softly, Dess smiled confidently, seeing Dess smile like that washed away the minor guilt about being stoned and sharing that moment of passion yesterday.

"Hell yeah Azzie, I'd love that more than anything.", Dess replied warmly as she brushed his cheek, her voice a contented whisper.

"Not now, but sometime soon could we... have a re-do of our little escapade? I want to recreate that spark we had yesterday."

Dess continued with a stifled giggle, "And that does not include being stoned, lying on the dusty forest floor, butt ass naked part... we'll be somewhere more dignified next time, like a bedroom with a locked door."

Asriel inched himself towards Dess with a soft chortle, his voice elated and genuine, "I would love that, but are we going to plan it, or is it going to be another passionate escalation of flirting? I'm happy with either.", Asriel winked and spoke warmly.

"That's for our future dumbass selves to figure out. But for now, let's go back to just... some simple cuddling, it's a needed change of pace from yesterday."

Asriel smiled warmly at Dess as they returned to the familiar embrace, their legs again intertwined, their torsos almost touched, their faces close, but far enough away to share a gaze. It was heaven for both, they knew they couldn't, but they wished they could stay like this for the entire day.

An hour or two would be enough for both.

Dess realized how massive the smile on her face was, it was the biggest, goofiest dumbass grin ever... she was in heaven... Asriel was so fucking adorable, not in the way he used to be, but in a... gentlemanly kind of way. Dess was safe... maybe the nightmare would just, fade away into nothing by tomorrow.

Asriel softly smiled at Dess as she stared happily at him, she looked a little dopey... Angel she was so pretty even when she looked kind of goofy... he decided to throw a curveball and planted a kiss on her cheek... Dess flushed red hot like he had during their first kiss as 16.

Dess giggled at how... utterly stupid and adorable they were... Angel, she wanted to pull Azzie into a full on make-out session... but Dess felt far too relaxed and cozy for something as intense as that.

"Mind proselytizing to me for a bit choir boy? I still want to hear what you had planned to say at Church today.",' Dess asked curiously. Asriel gave a warm smile of excitement.

"Well, it wasn't anything new or original... just a refresher..."

"Uh... how much do you actually know of the Tale Of The Delta-rune?", Asriel asked uncertainly, he wasn't sure how much Dess had bothered paying attention to, if at all, he'd rather not confuse her by starting too complex.

"The Angel's... a prophet... kind of like Jesus... and one day they're going to descend from heaven and free us from the Knight who causes the Roaring, right?", Dess asked, she lacked her usual confidence, but wasn't being playful by feigning ignorance.

Asriel gave a impressed look, "Most sects do believe that, but our sect believes the Angel is our deity, they carefully formed the world and guide it's inhabitants, they let us make our own choices. All of us have the Angel's influence mold us in some way.", Asriel paused as he let Dess process his words, "But the Angel exists several dimensions above us, we can't remotely comprehend them, so they gave each of us who are willing, the special gift of spreading their words and lessons, like Father Gerson, or Father Alvin."

"And yourself Azzie. To be honest, I never paid attention in Church, but hearing you explain it, I want to hear more... just don't expect me to convert." Dess complimented playfully.

Asriel giggled slightly, "Want me to tell you the legend of the Delta-rune?", He asked eagerly, which got an affirmitive nod from Dess.

"Or I should say our denomination's tale."

Asriel cleared his voice, and found a deep, majestic bellow, "The Angel fortold, in tales of old, three unlikely heroes who stood so bold.",

Asriel paused, he couldn't help but interject himself with a goofy grin, it was instinctual for him to add this clarification.

"Oddly enough the sacred texts only ever explicitly describe two of the heroes, and even then... the descriptions are so vague they could be literally anyone... and the third  heroes description is even more vague, the most said is that he's a kind man who wears a scarf."

Dess gave an amused expression alongside a chortle, "I was worried I missed something cool, but now I've accepted I'll be going to hell for smuggling my DS into Church and playing Mario Kart if that's all I missed."

Asriel giggled, "You aren't going to hell for something like that. Plus, you know more than you give yourself credit for."

"I suppose, how similar is the Lord Of The Hammer and Dragon Blazer's to your Holy Book anyway?", Dess questioned curiously.

"The Lord Of The Hammer isn't the most faitful retelling of our Prophecy, but it's the most well renowned... a shame it skips out some of my favourite lesson's from the Holy Book... but it's a great way for folks outside the religion to understand our myths while still keeping the core values and lessons of the Delta-rune."

Dess gave a faux insulted gasp, "Dragon Blazer's is way cooler and you know it."

Asriel softly laughed, "I made no mentions of coolness, simply one is more well known... but the fact that Lord Of The Hammer doesn't have a definitive ending like the actual Holy Book and maintains that same type of intrigue... like the story is still being written. Is what makes it so special to me."

Dess nodded in understanding, "I get where you're coming from, but but I'll never forgive how much Lord Of The Hammer blueballed me... at least Dragon Blazers 1 had an ending... even if it was sad as hell."

"That's fair, I don't blame anyone if that turns them away from Lord Of The Hammer, I just like how expansive it is for only having 55 thousand or so words. That's a lot of story and lessons to cram into one book. I think our Holy Book has... four or fives times the amount of words as Lord Of The Hammer.

"Honestly, I think we glossed over a pretty big detail about not only your religion, but religion in general...", Dess blurted as her face contorted to a mischievous grin in realization.

Asriel tilted his head, he knew she had a playful joke lined up, but he had no clue where Dess was going with it.

"Just to double check... you believe there is an all knowing entity that sees everything everyone does, by is that correct?", She asked playfully  as she snickered.

"I suppose that's a good way to summarize it.", He added nonchalantly, even though Dess's infectious giggle almost made him break character, which made Dess struggle to fight a playful snicker even more.

"And yet you still wanted to get wild in the forest? Damn Azzie, I'm flattered you picked me over the Angel.",  both flushed crimson and giggled as Asriel buried his head into his palm, and chuckles escaped Dess even though her mouth was closed.

Both turned and met gazes again, the memories of yesterday, the silliness, the happiness... the unbridled passion, the vulnerability and trust they shared... the unequivocal Dess and Asriel-ness to it. Those happy memories brought giggles out of both, but it also made their hearts flutter at how selfless and dedicated each had been to the others pleasure, to the other's worries, to the other's safety.

Asriel composed himself enough to give a theologically accurate response as Dess still struggled to regain hers, "Dess, I doubt the Angel would give a shit at all about that, they have more important things to focus on, like sheltering lost souls, rehabilitating damned ones and nurturing  new soul's before they enter the world."

"I mean, obviously they wouldn't care about us dumbass, you shot any potential souls they could have nurtured all over the forest floor and the both of us?.", Dess playfully wheezed between laughs.

"Oh you did not just go there!", Asriel retorted between wheezed laughs as he playfully punched Dess's shoulder.

Dess changed her mind... a maybe a makeout session was exactly what she needed.

"Well I did, what are you going to do about it, choir boy? Gonna grab me with your big strong arms? Gonna hold me tight and kiss me? Gonna let me do the same for you?" Dess joked and egged Asriel to fire back with some flirtatious teasing of his own.

"I know your playing me... but you're right... let's go for a victory lap." Asriel responded passionately and boldly, despite the smirk on his face.

Angel... he was so dreamy... she was was so dreamy... but the best part was... it wasn't a dream... they didn't have to wake up from this... they had an entire life ahead of them together.

As Dess and Asriel pulled eachother tight and intertwined their legs again, Asriel made a quick clarification, "Let's not get too carried away, but we can get a little carried away.", he smiled happily as his nose touched Dess's.

"I agree, what good is a hookup and romantic cuddling if we don't have a sloppy make out sesh?", Dess answered boldly as she cut Asriel off to answer her own question.

"Well, with you... it's the dreamiest and most incredible experience of my life... but it'll be even better with this last thing.", Dess softly and passionately whispered as her arms gently wrapped around Asriel's waist.

Asriel had one arm over Dess's shoulder, and the other was disengaged, the back of his palm gently caressed her cheek.

"My thoughts exactly, but I'll save my monologue for after, you're clearly raring to go... I can feel your hands drifting towards my ass." Asriel giggled as he happily whispered and pulled Dess into a kiss as he gave the signal she could gently touch his butt.

Both blushed warmly as they held the kiss... Dess's face burned a little hotter... something about Asriel's firm ass did something for her... probably because it was who the soft, but firm ass was a part of.

"C'mon Asriel, you can't let me have all the fun, well... as long as you're comfortable, that's the most important part... you've got my full permission to just go for it... I can see it in your eyes that you want to get handsy like I am.", Dess slowly regained her confidence as she gently and passionately whispered to her choir boy.

Asriel smiled happily as he lowered his free hand towards Dess's breasts and rested his hand on her chest gently, which made both smile. Whoever said consent wasn't sexy was the dumbest asshole ever.

They leaned into another kiss, both held it for an extra second as they locked gazes. They occasionally traded soft kisses and words of affection as they felt eachother up for several minutes.

Some soft noises of happiness came from each as they happily mumbled gentle words of affection to the other. Dess and Asriel pulled away in mutual understanding that it was a good time to stop.  That was enough for both, that was just supposed to be a victory lap, nothing more... and damn was it an amazing one.

Asriel and Dess disengaged as they smiled warmly at how amazing everything had been... how magical everything since yesterday had been, because they were together.

But for now, they could just relax for a bit, then Asriel and Dess could get up and continue their day together, as a couple, with the family.

Dess felt a small tinge of coldness from the nightmare fade away... it was still strong, but it was losing its grip on her.

Dess was healing, she was actually healing... she didn't even feel like the same monster she did on Friday... and that wasn't a bad thing this time.