Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The shuttle rattled around him as it broke free from Starkiller Base’s atmosphere and Hux grit his teeth, hoping that the thing would hold together. He cries out, thrown into the shuttle's panel as the ship is rocked forward by a large blast, likely what is left of Starkiller Base imploding on itself.  A thousand sensors go off and Hux curses, fingers flying over the controls to do something - anything - to get them out of the blast range.

In the end, it comes down to the shields or speed.

He choses speed and transfers power to the engines with a few flicks of his fingers. Red lights flash everywhere, but Hux ignores them this time, focuses instead on getting out, getting away. Brilliant orange light surrounds the shuttle and Hux thinks that this must be it, this is when he dies when--

The shuttle tears free and Hux can finally breathe.

Between the fire that nearly tore the shuttle in half and his hurried escape from the planet's surface, it's a wonder the thing could still fly. But it can and he’ll have enough power left to get them out of this system to rendezvous with the larger First Order fleet. It physically pains him to think of the loss of Starkiller Base and the effect that will have on the Order, not to mention he might have potentially lost the Finalizer as well. Hux brutally shoves that thought aside; his first goal must be to complete the mission Snoke gave him and then meet with the rest of the fleet. He can worry about sorting out the chaos when he arrives.

Hux honestly thought Snoke’s mission would kill him.

He had found Kylo Ren - unconscious, cold, and bleeding sluggishly - through the tracker in the man’s belt and if it hadn’t been for that, Hux might’ve died with Starkiller Base then and there. Still, he was tempted to leave the man there to die. The memory of the thing he had found in the man’s quarters just before the Resistance struck is far too fresh.

“Welcome back, Kylo.”

The voice had been a sickly sweet version of Hux’s own and, at first, Hux thought it was some kind of advanced holo. But when he’d reached out to touch it--

“Facial scan complete. Lifeform is not Master Kylo Ren. Restricting access. … Access restricted.”

The thing was an exact copy of Hux, could have even passed for him if it weren’t for the strange, gleaming quality to the synthskin.

He despised it immediately.

The whole room stank of sex and Hux could still see evidence of previous use on the thing. He felt sick to his stomach just to think of the things Ren had been doing with a sex droid that looked just like Hux in his rooms.

It had pleased him greatly to blow the things head open. He hadn’t expecting Ren to be so upset at losing it, but he wasn’t surprised. Ren always had been a strange one, unpredictable and volatile. It wasn’t entirely shocking to find that Ren’s mind was also a mess.

Honestly, Hux had no idea what use a broken creature like Ren would be to Snoke, but Hux would follow the Supreme Leader's orders.

At least the shuttle had an autopilot which allowed Hux the ability to run diagnostics and check the shuttle over for any damage that might not be overtly obvious while it carried them to their destination. It would take him days to reach Snoke’s base even travelling at light speed; luckily, Kylo Ren's injuries were so extensive that he’d likely sleep through the entire journey. Hux had given him a sedative but other than that he hadn't bothered to tend to the man's wounds. Snoke's only instruction had been to bring Ren to him, he failed to mention what kind of condition the man should be in.

Hux shivers suddenly.

When he turns away from the ship’s console, Ren is standing there, leaning heavily against the wall of the shuttle, one hand pressed to the bloody gash in his side. He’s a disgusting mess, his robes cut open and most of his face oozing blood. A trail of it leads off behind him.

“Ren.” Hux tries to calm the rapid pounding of his heart. He hadn't heard Ren come in. “How did you-- never mind. Go rest. We'll be on Snoke's planet within the day, you'll need your energy, I imagine. He says you’re to continue your training.”

Hux waits, but Ren barely reacts to his words. He can't see the man's eyes through the length of his matted hair, can hardly see his expression through the blood caked on his face. So Hux steps closer, steps into Ren’s personal space, can feel his lip curling at the heavy smell of sweat and blood hanging all over the man. He can see Ren’s eyes now, but they’re wide and empty, staring at Hux in a daze. Probably the blood loss.

His hand itches for the blaster he left behind on Starkiller Base, but it had been a choice between Ren or the blaster and Hux - unfortunately - had to choose Ren.

“Go back to your cot, Ren, I won't have you bleeding all over my ship--”

Ren's eyes focus on him suddenly and it’s enough to have Hux losing track of his words, breath catching in his throat. Those eyes are feral, but somehow determined and it gives Hux pause. Ren’s hand extends toward him, reaching for his face and Hux jerks back, sneering in disgust.

“Don't touch me, you filth--”

All Hux sees before darkness overwhelms him the dark void of Ren’s eyes.

Awareness comes back to him in stages.

First it’s the sound of distant, mechanized humming. It’s similar to the sound that the Finalizer’s air filtration system, but not quite. Sometimes there’s a rattle, like the system is old and it’s louder than the one on his ship. The strangeness of that sound is what wakes him first.

When he opens his eyes, it takes him a moment to realize that these are not the walls he’s grown used to. Not plated durasteel but grey concrete, stark and harsh. He wades through thoughts heavy with sleep, trying to remember what could have happened, where he could be.

He remembers running through the snow on Starkiller Base, dragging Ren’s limp body onto the shuttle while the ground crumbled beneath his feet. He remembers feeling the heat of the planet through the thick soles of his boots as he hauled Ren on to the shuttle, he remembers believing that he would die there.

Hux sits up, a threadbare blanket scratching his naked chest. He expects a headache or some kind of lingering ache but there's nothing but a dull throb in his arms. He shivers at the feel of cold air on his skin and turns--

Ren.

He's sitting in a chair twenty feet away, hands clenched into fists on his lap. His gaze is fixed on Hux so intently that it makes his skin crawl, makes him want to cover himself. Makes him remember suddenly--

“What did you do to me?” Hux hisses out through clenched teeth, hands clenching in the blanket.

“I made you sleep until I was ready for you to wake up.” Ren says it so simply, his low voice threaded with a hint of anticipation.

“Made me--” Hux can’t believe what he’s hearing, can’t believe that Ren would so willingly admit to what he did. Hux moves to rise from the bed, to demand an explanation, to get answers.

But when he swings his feet over the side of the bed there’s a distinct metallic rattling that follows the movement of his feet. Hux goes still and cold all over when he feels the weight around his ankle and Ren looks almost sad.

“It’s just temporary, Hux--”

Hux pulls aside the blanket just enough to see the modified binder around his left ankle. It’s made out of some kind of alloy, not like anything they had aboard the Finalizer . Even more disturbing is the length of chain the runs from it and under the bed.

“What’s the meaning of this, Ren? What game are you playing?” Hux wants to rise, but the blanket across his lap is the only scrap of protection he has left from Ren.

Last he knew, Hux had on his uniform. He doesn’t like to think of how he came to be completely nude. He can’t stop remembering how he found that obscene droid, naked and kneeling in Ren’s rooms. Can’t stop thinking of the things Ren did to it.

“It’s no game, Hux, just--”

“Where are we?”

“Somewhere safe--”

“ ‘Safe’ ?” Hux stands, unable to resist, clutching the blanket around his waist. He wants to pace, but the binder around his ankle feels so much heavier than before. “Why would that require locking me up and taking my clothes , Ren?”

“I thought you would--”

“Well, you thought wrong, as usual.” Hux says and Ren flinches at the words, curling into himself and suddenly looking impossibly small for a man of his size. “I order you to release me, I order you to return me to my fleet, or--”

“--I can’t do that.”

“--so help me-- What? You can’t do what ?”

“I can’t release you.” Ren mumbles, speaking more to the floor than to Hux.

“ ‘Can’t’ ?” Hux genuinely can’t believe what he’s hearing, “Say it again, Ren, and this time look me in the eye when you do it.”

Ren shakes his head minutely, sighs, before his eyes finally meet Hux’s. His gaze is steady, calm, unyielding.

“I won’t release you.”

Every muscle in Hux’s body goes rigid, frozen by Ren’s words.

“ Explain .”

Hux expects Ren to wilt under his gaze, but instead the man squares his shoulders and rises, “You’re staying here, Hux. We both are.”

“Why?” Hux asks, the words hissed out through clenched teeth. He’s got the blanket in a death grip, trying to quell the apprehension creeping up his spine.

“You--” Ren stops himself, swallows hard like the words he wants to say hurt, “You forgot .”

He says it like it should mean something to Hux, like he should inherently know what Ren means just by the way he says it. But if anything, Hux feels even more lost, can feel himself shaking his head in bewilderment.

“You forgot that you love me,” Ren says it quietly, but firmly.

It feels like a shock has gone through Hux’s body at the words, too many puzzles starting to sort themselves out in his mind.

He’d hoped that the droid was just some power trip, or maybe just a coincidence, or that Ren was just sick and twisted. That, he could have lived with.

But this? This was on an entirely different level.

Hux comes back to himself when he feels Ren’s gloved hands on his face, suddenly close, so close he can feel the man’s warm breath on his skin.

“You forgot, but it’s okay. It’s okay. I’ll help you to remember. I’ll help you--”

Whatever other simpering declarations Ren was going to make next are abruptly cut off as Hux’s fist connects with the man’s nose, sending a spray of blood. Hux is lining up for another, one hand still desperately clenched in the blanket when his whole body goes still and he can feel the power in the air around him, holding him in place.

Ren’s got his hand on his nose trying to stem the blood while the other is raised just slightly towards Hux, keeping him still with the Force. When he pulls his hand away from his nose the blood is flowing freely down his face and his eyes blaze with fury.

In an instant, Ren backhands Hux across the face, releasing him from the Force at the same time as the powerful blow comes down and Hux crumbles to the floor. The pain is astounding and Hux can't help but press his cold hand to the inflamed skin, jaw aching.

“Don't make me do that again, Hux,” Ren says from above him and he looks up to see Ren towering over him, blood running down his neck and chin and into the black of his shirt.

“You're fucking mad,” Hux says, using the pain to fuel the venom in his voice. He means to rush at Ren, sheets and chain be damned, means to drive his shoulder into the man's stomach. But he must telegraph his movements because as soon as Hux even twitches the Force is clamping down on him again and holding him in place.

“I don't want to hurt you,” Ren says, but his face is still twisted with rage. If Hux could speak he would be hurling every curse he knew at the man, he would demand his freedom, he would rip Ren to shreds . After a moment, Ren's face softens, so sudden that Hux's mind stutters. “I don't want to hurt you.”

Ren says it so mournfully that Hux could almost believe him.

This time Hux feels it when the Force is used to move him, to manipulate his body and pull him up from the ground. There’s a line of concentration between Ren’s brow, but other than that he makes it look effortless.

“You forgot before, too, Hux. Do you remember that, at least?” Ren keeps lifting him until Hux is back on his feet again, but the Force is still everywhere, a constant pressure keeping Hux still. Keeping him right where Ren wants him. The sheet is allowed to fall to the ground and Ren’s eyes are on him, openly hungry and covetous. Hux can feel the way his face heats up under Ren’s gaze; he’s always hated being nude, it reminded him of the Academy and the way the boys laughed at him for being smaller than them, ridiculed his body, taunted him. “I asked you a question, Hux. When I ask you a question you will always answer truthfully and without hesitation.”

The power holding Hux’s jaw loosens enough for him to speak. Hux takes the opportunity to spit at the man, close enough to him that it hits Ren’s cheek.

That fire is back in Ren’s eyes again as the man lifts a hand to wipe the mess away, letting out a put upon sigh. “We’ll start from the beginning again.”

Ren’s hand fists into Hux’s hair and the Force lets go of him so abruptly that Hux nearly falls again, so used to having it hold him up that his muscles nearly forgot how to work. He doesn’t have a moment to recuperate before Ren is dragging him forward, the cuff around Hux’s ankle falling off so easily. He’s pulled away from the bed and the chair and in to the middle of the room.

Hux fights, of course, but now it seems like there’s only certain points of pressure on him, around his wrists and ankles and every time he lashes out at Ren, the pressure pulls back on Hux and stops any blow he tries to land from connecting. It’s frustrating enough that Hux could scream, but he refrains. He settles for cursing, demanding his release, any and every threat he can think of as he’s dragged along like a sack of waste for the trash compactor.

Without warning, the power of the Force is back, this time pressing Hux flat to the floor on his back and knocking the breath from him. He can do nothing more than watch from the corner of his eye as Ren circles around him, grasping each ankle and then each wrist and binding something around them.

When Ren steps back and the pressure is gone from him, Hux immediately surges up-- or tries to. He gets no more than a few inches off the ground before he’s pulled to a stop. His arms are stretched out on either side him, a wide black binder around each of them. The cuff itself is bolted to the floor, scarcely an inch away from it. His feet are much the same, spread perhaps two feet apart, but bound so closely to the floor by similar bindings that he can’t do more than slightly raise his knees.

“You have to learn, Hux.” Ren says, from somewhere above Hux’s head. Hux cranes to look at the man, but all he can see from his upside-down view is the wide expanse of Ren’s back. Ren sheds the outer layer of his robes until he’s down to his pants then picks something from the table before him. When he turns, Hux can see it’s some kind of long, thin rod. “I’ll teach you the rules again and this time you won’t forget.”

Ren circles around Hux and crouches beside him, reaching out to skim a gloved hand over Hux’s skin. He opens his mouth to speak, but Ren’s hand flies forward, two fingers pressing in and down on Hux’s tongue. Immediately, Hux bites down, but the thick glove Ren wears makes the man do nothing more than wince before continuing on.

“Number one: you will always be waiting for me, naked and on your knees.”

Disgusting, absolutely disgusting. As though Hux would ever willingly prostrate himself before anyone, let alone Kylo-fucking-Ren. Hux tries to speak around the digits in his mouth, tries to bite down again, but this time Ren doesn’t even flinch. This close, Hux can tell that the stick held loosely in Ren’s hand is some kind of wood, quite long and at least half an inch in width.

“Number two: you will always obey me and only me.”

It’s painfully obvious now that something is terribly broken in Ren’s mind, especially if he really expects Hux to follow these ridiculous rules. But Ren’s gaze is penetrating, almost wild, but so focused on him that Hux can’t help but see how utterly serious Ren is. He truly believes that Hux will do as he says. Something like fear is starting to coil in the pit of Hux’s stomach and he hates it. Rage overwhelms him fast, tight in Hux’s chest and he wants to sink his teeth into the skin of Ren’s neck and rip. He settles for thrashing again, filled with the urge to flee, but no matter how hard he pulls the bindings won’t budge.

“Number three: you will always call me ‘Kylo.’”

Ren looks at him so earnestly, face open and honest before he pulls away, fingers slipping from Hux’s mouth and rising slowly to his feet. Hux tries to speak again, tries to holler but even without Ren’s fingers he feels something clamp down on his mouth. It holds his jaw still so he can’t even shout. He’s allowed to struggle though and Hux does so immediately and hard , until his wrists and ankles are aching from the strain.

And Ren just stands there watching, a strangely sad look on his face.

Hux is pulling at the cuffs, yanking as hard as he can when he catches a blur of movement from the corner of his eye. That’s all the warning he gets before Ren’s arm swings down on him and the rod his hand lands.

The pain makes him scream and the pressure of the Force leaves Hux’s mouth to allow him to do it. It’s sharp and focused and throbs through his whole body. He hasn’t felt real pain like this in years , it makes him shake.

It’s barely faded from him before Ren moves again and Hux sees the hard clench of his jaw, the wild look in his eyes, the red tinge to Ren’s face before the blow lands. This time, Hux clenches his jaw to stop the scream he wants to let out, struggling against the binds that hold him as the pain thunders through him.

Again and again Ren rains down blows on him, relentlessly. There’s no set rhythm, no pattern that Hux can get used to. Sometimes it’s a bombardment of hits that does draw a bellow from Hux that he can’t hold back. Ren focuses most on soft part of Hux’s stomach, his chest, almost obsessively over his nipples, but there’s no part of Hux’s body that goes untouched. Other than his face (and Hux could cry with how grateful he is that Ren doesn’t hit his face).

It doesn’t stop, Hux loses count of the number of cracks against his skin, loses track of where he’s being hit because it all feels so raw and tender. He can feel himself starting swim on a strange edge; it almost feels like the only thing keeping Hux tethered to reality is the pain.

He almost doesn’t notice when it’s stopped, when all he can hear is his own harsh, shuddering gasps and the deep, heaving sounds of Ren’s breathing. He doesn’t realize until bare fingers touch his face that he’s sobbing, that he’s been sobbing for a long time. He can just barely feel the wet trail of tears on his skin when Ren’s fingers trace along them.

“So perfect,” Hux hears Ren’s voice over the roar of his heartbeat, “So beautiful. Just for me.”

It feels like he’s floating and when Hux opens his eyes, he realizes it’s because Ren has lifted him into the cradle of his arms. The instinct to fight is there, but the moment his body tenses up to thrash a wave of fear and pain rides over him and he can’t make himself move.

He’s laid on something soft (the bed, he assumes) and feels cold metal slide around his ankle. He can’t stop the low moan of pain he lets out, the cuff laying right on his inflamed skin, but Ren is there immediately. A hand pushes into his hair, Ren’s lips at his ear shushing the sounds he can’t seem to stop.

“It’s alright, baby, it’s only temporary. It’s only temporary.” It’s not comforting - not at all, not after that - but some of the tension in Hux’s chest eases with the gentle touch of Ren’s hand through his hair. He’s never been touched like this, not since he was four years old.

It’s too much, the touching and the pain and Hux can’t move because of either, can barely even lift his finger.

“Don’t touch me.” He manages through clenched teeth, eyes squeezed shut against the waves of agony that ride over him with each breath. “Leave me alone.”

He feels Ren’s sigh against his ear, a sigh of disappointment and despair before the man moves away. A strange part of Hux echoes with the loss of that soothing touch, so calm compared to the rest of his body. He opens his eyes to see Ren towering over him.

“I’ll be back soon. I--” Ren hesitates, looking suddenly small and shy even from Hux’s lower vantage, “I love you.”

Ren waits, hands clenching and unclenching at his side, shifting from foot to foot.

“Get. Out.” Hux gasps, the fury and fear and hate oozing into his voice.

Sorrow floods Ren’s face and his eyes suddenly shine brighter, like he’s struggling not to cry. Hux feels a vicious kind of pleasure at the thought of Ren’s tears. It’s gone so quickly that it must have been Hux’s own wishful thinking, replaced with a clenching jaw and a mask of rage.

Ren turns on his heel and Hux watches him go, watches him march to the door at the end of the room, slamming his fist against the keypad to open it. When it shuts behind him, Hux finally lets go, finally gives in.

He cries himself to sleep for the first time in over thirty years.

Chapter Text

The room is long and narrow, approximately eighteen meters long and six meters wide. At the farthest end of the room is the door, kept locked by the keypad next to it. The bed is welded to the wall across the room from the door, with only a thin mattress pad and blanket. Nine meters away from and to the left of the bed, a table stands pressed up against the wall with two chairs tucked underneath it. Some time ago, there were items on the table, only barely visible from the bed, but they didn’t stay there for long.

After Hux fell into an exhausted and fitful sleep, Ren must have came back and cleared the items from the table as well as taken Hux’s uniform.

When he wakes, Ren isn’t there. Hux tries to sit up, but everything hurts with a dull, throbbing ache. Even the thin layer of sheets over him hurts. He lifts the sheet just enough to take in the length of his body, a collection of red and purple welts scattered along his shoulders, chest, stomach, hips, thighs, right down to his ankles. The pain in his abdomen is especially sharp and Hux lays back down after only a few moments of taking in Ren’s work.

He feels nauseous because there’s a sticky layer of bacta spray over most of the wounds. They will heal soon enough with that to help, yet Hux can’t remember it being applied. He remembers the beating, remembers Ren laying him in bed again, remembers even the pull of sleep, but he can’t remember that. Ren must have done it while he slept; if Hux had anything in his stomach he would have thrown it up. As it is, Hux spends a good ten minutes coughing past the retching.

Hux forces himself to breathe; he struggles to think past the fear of the power Ren wielded over him so easily and without remorse. His heart races and his hands shake and he feels tears threatening again. But he knows that will do him no good - panic will not get him out of here or get him away from Ren. Only Hux can save himself.

So Hux buries it all: his panic, his fear, his shame. Seals it up inside him so he can think.

The Order will be looking for him, they have to. Unless they presume him dead. Snoke sent Hux on his mission, but did he know they made it off the planet? Could he feel them through the Force, as some wielders are able to? Or are they too far? And what if Ren is hiding them from whatever ability Snoke had? It seems like Ren has no intentions of letting Hux go any time soon, but can he keep them hidden from his Master? Hux sincerely hopes not.

He has to assume the Order don’t know about him and that Snoke doesn’t know where they are. It’s easier to plan for the worst than to hope for the best.

Hux needs to send a long-range transmission, ideally one coded to First Order frequencies, but even a general S.O.S. will do. Getting away from Ren is all that matters, even if it meant briefly ending up in the hands of the Resistance. He can bear their torture, but he can’t let Ren do to him what had been done to that droid.

To send a transmission, Hux needs to get out of the room. Based on the design of it, they must be housed in one of the Empire’s abandoned war bunkers, buildings designed to withstand whatever ordinance the Resistance managed to scrounge together. He spent plenty of time at the Academy studying the designs of such buildings when Starkiller Base was just a dream.

Now it’s gone to dust.

Hux squeezes his eyes shut against the thought; it’s not important right now.

Getting out of the room. Straining, Hux lifts his head and pulls the sheet to the side to peer down at the cuff around his ankle. It’s seamless , one solid piece of layered durasteel with no locking mechanism visible. It presses tight to Hux’s skin all the way around his ankle, like it had been sized just for him. He can’t see how it is Ren managed to lock him into the thing.

Even the small effort of lifting his head and moving his leg to gaze at his binding has Hux breathing hard. He falls back, vowing to examine it closer later, when he is more mobile. Still, there’s one more thing he needs to know.

With clenched teeth and sharp pain making him cry out, Hux manages to roll to his side enough to peek under the bed where his chain ends. He hopes to see it screwed down, but no such luck. The chain links are thick and welded to metal plates, just as the bed is welded to the wall. He realizes with a shock that the fixtures looked shiny, newer than the rest of the room. Ren had prepared this. Hux would have to spend hours each day trying to wear it down enough to get free.

Letting himself fall onto his back again, gasping from the pain wracking through his body, Hux knows he would be lucky if he got hours alone and fit enough to try and break the chain free. The chain is Obstacle Number One.

Bound as he is, Hux can’t get close enough to the keypad to examine it, but considering Ren’s rough treatment of it last time, it is probably coded to Ren’s genetic signature. Which means that Hux would have to somehow get a hold of a piece of Ren, ideally an eye or finger, and use that to open the door. The keypad is Obstacle Number Two.

Hux remembers the blueprints, knows the room is meant to be a holding cell, knows what it should like on the other side of that door. A maze of narrow hallways connected to other cells and interrogation rooms. Beyond that the shuttle bay and beyond that the command centre. Making it to either the shuttle bay or the command centre will do, whatever is functional will work. Getting to the command centre would be ideal since Hux will be able to control the base from there and hopefully use the base’s defenses to indispose and/or kill Ren. What lies beyond the door is Obstacle Number Three.

There are too many variables. His throat felt tight before, still raw from screaming, but now it’s harder to breathe. He can feel the trembling threatening come back, the idea of being totally and completely stuck as he is makes his stomach roil.

Time. It would take time.

Hux forces himself to breathe, counting out long breaths.

He will wait, he will do as Ren asks, behave the way Ren wants him to. Hux retches at the thought, curling into himself, pain following with the hard shudders of his body. He knows what that will entail, about what Ren will want from him, about the things he will have to do. Every time he closes his eyes he can hear the sound of that rod rushing through the air and he can see the beatific smile of that filthy droid. But Hux will always know it’s a ploy, just a ruse to get Ren to let his guard down enough for Hux to take advantage. Hux has proven himself to be infinitely patient; it had taken years to work his way up to General, years more to build Starkiller Base. He will take all the time he needs, will wait as long as necessary to find the right moment.

He will bear it.

A chime sounds from the keypad by the door, illuminating it in green and for one wild moment, Hux hopes fervently to see a stormtrooper, Phasma - even Snoke would be preferable over seeing Kylo Ren. But there was no gleaming silver or white armor, just Ren’s black mess of hair. Hux rolls to his side, trying to get his arms under him and mostly succeeding while his eyes are locked on the man entering.

Ren is carrying a tray of some kind, but Hux watches his hands, watches Ren press his bare hand to the keypad and it locks, glowing red. Genetically coded.

The clothes Ren wore are gone now, replaced by a simple black shirt and pants. The gloves are gone too, though Hux still feels like he can taste the leather on his tongue. The tray Ren carries seems to be laden with food items and Hux instinctively dreads the thought of eating. He’ll have to try; he’ll need his energy up if he’s going to get out of here.

By the time Ren sets the tray down on the table, Hux has managed to sit up properly, holding the bed sheet tight over his legs again, but his chest heaves with the pain. He’ll need to heal before he can do anything, moving hurts enough as it is.

Ren is looking at him, eyes wide and eager.

“It hurts. I can feel it. I never could before, you were closed to me, but-- I can feel you,” Ren says, voice full of wonder, staring at Hux as though he’s never seen him before.

Hux has to bite down on his tongue to hold back all the vicious things he wants to say, the way he wants to scream and yell and beat Ren bloody with his bare hands. He settles for clenching his hands in the bed sheets.

“You don’t have to kneel today. I know it hurts.” Ren says as he turns away, turns his attention back to the tray he set down.

Kneel? Why would Hux ever--

The rules. Those silly rules that Ren had rambled on about before he-- Hux twitches and a sharp stab of pain cuts through the dull ache.

A part of Hux had thought it was part of a nightmare, that it wasn’t real. But clearly Ren had been quite serious.

Hux is still sitting trying to process it when Ren turns back to him and he can smell the foodstuffs the man has brought in. From what Hux can see from here, it’s heated ration packs, probably from the leftover stores of the bunker. Ren moves to him and every muscle in Hux’s body tenses, the instinct to fight or run immediate and almost choking him. But Ren just goes to his ankle, lithe fingers hovering over it and giving a small twitch. Just like that, the binding falls away. The Force? The thing is locked by the kriffing Force?

There’s a brief moment where Hux imagines throwing himself at Ren, using surprise to overwhelm the man and incapacitate him long enough to make an escape.

Ren’s hand lashes out so fast that Hux barely has time to register the sound of the slap before he’s feeling the pain of it. It’s not particularly hard, not hard enough to knock him over, but just enough that it burns, makes his head turn.

“Enough of that. I can feel your pain, I can feel what you’re thinking. Stop.” Ren’s voice is hard, almost cold.

His mind, Ren had seen right into his mind, seen what he wanted to do even though he couldn’t do it and punished him for it.

It’s a vulnerability that Hux hadn’t even considered and he feels all at once violated, angry, and afraid. His face still stings as Hux bites down on the inside of his mouth until he tastes blood, smothering it all as much as he can. He has to be careful, he has to be smart now.

“Good,” Ren says. “Come on, let’s eat.”

Ren helps him get up, lifting his legs over the side of the bed and helping him rise from the bed with Hux’s arm looped around Ren’s neck and Ren’s arm around his waist. Even the smallest of touches of Ren’s hands on him has Hux biting back hisses of pain, but even worse is the instant revulsion of having Ren so close to him. Their bodies are forced to press tight together as Ren stands and then it’s even worse. Hux cries out then, muscles weak and aching, skin burning from the beating he took. He sags against Ren for a moment, but Ren bears all his weight, turning his head to whisper into Hux’s ear.

“It’s alright, baby, I know. I know. Just a little ways to go, come on.”

Skin crawling, Hux goes when Ren tugs him along, trying to ignore the pain in his body, trying to ignore the way his stomach rolls at having Ren so close. It feels like an eternity just to cross the thirty feet from the bed to the table, but it’s only a moment. This close, Hux can see that the chairs and the table are welded to the floor as well, the stinging in his cheek reminding him to quash any hopes of using them as weapons.

The metal of the chairs is cold, so much colder than the rest of Hux’s body, but it will get him away from Ren so Hux goes as soon as he can. He manages to walk the last few feet by himself, holding tight to the chair and table with shaking hands as he lowers himself down. Ren hovers like a worried mother, hands out and ready to catch Hux if he should fall. But as soon as he’s settled, Ren moves away and Hux lets out a quiet sigh of relief to have Ren even just a little further away.

Almost as soon as he’s free of Ren’s grip, Hux feels the slightest of pressure, a phantom touch around his wrists and he has to smother the scream of fear and frustration he wants to let out. He felt this before, yesterday when Ren was shoving him to the floor and--

There’s no restraint this time, no pull that counters his when Hux moves. It’s just a touch, just a reminder, ready in case it will be needed. Hux starts to tremble.

Ren sits across from Hux and passes over a share the ration packs. Hux clenches his hands in his lap to try and quell the shaking. He doesn’t want to eat, the smell of it makes him want to throw up, but Ren’s eyes are on him so Hux takes what he’s offered. He shovels it down mechanically, trying no to taste it, reminding himself that he’ll need it for later. He’ll need it to fight.

“Hux.” Ren says and there’s a warning in his voice that makes Hux’s stomach clench with fear. He almost imagines he can feel Ren’s presence in his mind, plucking out every stray thought he has.

Hux quashes the thought of fighting as best as he can, shivering all over from the cold and the fear creeping up his spine.

“Good boy.” Only then does Ren pick up a pack of his own and start eating.

They eat in silence, the constant hum of the air circulation systems the only other sound in the room. It’s far from comfortable; Hux’s body twitches with pain and shivers that bring more pain. He manages to finish off two ration packs, but only because Ren keeps watching him, stares him down the moment he hesitates to eat. Ren eats more than him, but somehow finishes first and then just sits, staring and waiting.

As soon as Hux pushes the mostly empty packs away from him, Ren speaks.

“I know you have questions.” Ren leans back in his chair, body loose and languid. It only makes Hux tighten up more, all his senses screaming danger. “I’ll make you a deal. When you can managed to take all of my cock in your throat and make me come without gagging or choking, I’ll let you ask a question.”

Hux freezes, trying to breathe past the immediate revulsion and hate and fury that wells up in him at the mere suggestion. And Ren just sits there, staring and grinning at him, probably feeling every bit of it just as much. He needs to calm down, he needs to process this.

He could say no. He wants to say no; every fibre of his being rebels at the idea of having anything to do with Kylo Ren’s cock. But he needs information if he’s going to survive. Then again, he has no proof that Ren will even truthfully answer the question or that the man will answer the question at all.

“I’ll answer.” Ren replies to the thoughts in his head and Hux can’t hold back a flinch. “When you want to ask a question - if you’ve earned it - I’ll answer it truthfully.”

Hux hates this, he hates being pushed into a corner like this. No matter what he chooses, he’s not going to win, not really, not right away. But he was prepared for this, prepared for it to take time--

Ren tsks and when Hux glances up, he’s glaring in disapproval. Hux stops his train of thought before it can go any further.

There’s no point in debating it, Hux already knows he’ll do it. He can’t afford not to. As much as he despises having to get so close to Ren’s cock, at least it’s a task he feels reasonably certain he can complete.

He’s never done this before, but he has an understanding of how it works. Hux stands, feeling that phantom grip around his wrists move with him. He has to lean most of his weight against the table as he moves forward, every muscle screaming in pain as Ren’s body turns towards his. He’s breathing hard through the pain, knees shaking, but once he gets close enough, Ren stretches his hands out. He catches Hux by the elbows, pulling him between Ren’s legs.

“It's okay, I’ve got you,” Ren says, one hand letting go of Hux to reach past him and Hux frowns in confusion before he hears the rustle of cloth and the blanket from the bed appears in Ren's hand. Ren bundles the fabric up as best as he can with one hand keeping Hux upright and still, tossing the sheet to the floor. “There,” Ren sounds pleased as his hands grip loosely, but firmly, guiding Hux to his knees.

Even through the makeshift pillow, the hard floor still bites into his knees, makes every welt on his knees and calves flare up again. But it gives him something else to focus on, gives him some detachment from the task before him.

Ren’s hand goes to his hair, stroking through and Hux flinches away before he can help himself. The instinct to run is there, a constant alarm that he struggles to ignore. He feels the hand at his head still and looks up to see Ren staring at him with that faraway and sad look on his face. His hands are deceptively gentle as the frame Hux’s face, thumbs sweeping over the crest of his cheekbones.

“I got you,” Ren whispers, and then his thumb caresses Hux’s bottom lip. There’s pressure and Hux opens his mouth to it, squeezing his eyes shut as Ren’s finger pushing inside. “No, open your eyes, keep them open.” Now Ren’s voice is too loud, demanding, and promising retribution if he is not obeyed.

So, Hux obeys.

Ren sighs, pleased when Hux opens his eyes again, finger moving inside Hux’s mouth. It pushes down on his tongue, rubbing over it in small circles. The rest of his hand cups Hux’s jaw, pulling down to keep it open and he can feel the drool starting to pool in his mouth.

“All right,” Ren says, quiet again and relief floods through Hux when his hand pulls away and he can close his mouth.

The relief fades fast when Ren reaches that hand for his trousers, working them open and Hux remembers what he’s on his knees for.

Ren’s cock is big, bigger than his own, at least, and already half-hard. He watches Ren wrap his hand around it, giving it a couple of firm strokes, making it swell up even more. There’s a trickle of doubt now, alongside the disgust and anger and fear. Seeing the size of Ren’s cock makes Hux worry that maybe it won’t be as easy as he thought.

Suddenly, Ren surges towards him and then his mouth is on Hux’s, the hand that had been on his cock coming up to hold Hux’s jaw open as he licks into Hux’s mouth. Hux tries to jerk back on instinct, but Ren’s hands are there to stop him, holding him firmly in place so his tongue can delve into Hux’s mouth, mapping and claiming it. Hux’s hands push at Ren’s knees like he can hope to get away, stomach turning at the taste of Ren in his mouth and the hungry way the man pants as he thrusts his tongue into Hux’s mouth, teeth scraping over his lips over and over.

Finally, Ren pulls away, only his thumb comes back to replace his tongue, pushing down on Hux’s tongue again.

With one hand holding the back of his head and the other holding his mouth open, Ren guides Hux’s mouth down onto his cock, now fully hard and bobbing in the air.

Ren’s cock fills most of his mouth, even when the man’s finger pulls away. It’s taste like salt and smells faintly of sweat, twitching in his mouth. Hux can hear Ren sighing above him, feels the cock in his mouth slide a little deeper when the man’s hips twitch up. The revulsion spikes again and Hux has the sudden urge to sink his teeth into the sensitive flesh.

Then one of Ren’s hands shifts to the hair at the crown of his head, fingers threading through and pulling painfully tighter and tighter until tears spring to Hux’s eyes. Ren doesn’t have to say anything; his point is made.

So Hux thinks instead of what he stands to gain, what questions he will ask when he completes his task. It gives him something else to think about as he moves his tongue along the skin of Ren’s cock and hears that contented sigh above him again, feels the hand in his hair gentle.

It’s not as bad as he thought. He licks and licks, wraps his mouth tight around Ren’s cock and bobs his head. He gets more than halfway down Ren’s cock before he starts to feel it nudging at the back of his mouth, feels his gag reflex kick in. But Hux fights it down, manages to quell it with a shuddering breath and only a quiet whimper. He feels it when Ren shivers, feels it in his mouth and under his hands where they rest high on Ren’s thighs.

He needs to take the whole of it down without gagging or choking. He needs to make Ren come. He should be cautious, take his time. But he’s not sure how long he can stand it, the smell and the taste and the feeling of Ren’s cock heavy in his mouth.

Hux pushes forward, keeping his tongue wriggling against the underside of Ren’s cock as he bobs his head on it, lips sealed tight and pulled over his teeth. Like this, he’s able to take more and more of Ren’s cock into his mouth, pushing down his gag reflex when it threatens. Drool oozes out the side of his mouth, but he can feel Ren shuddering and moaning, so Hux assumes he must be doing something right.

He knows then that he’ll be able to do this, feels the certainty that he’ll have his answers soon. Answers and then freedom.

The head of Ren’s cock nudges at the back of Hux’s throat and his whole body twitches as the urge to gag wells up again. It’s harder this time to smother it and he makes a sound around Ren’s cock with the effort of it.

Ren’s moans loud and his hips do more than twitch this time; they thrust and it’s painful and hard and pushes too quickly into Hux’s throat.

That’s all it takes for Hux to start choking, coughing and gagging around Ren’s cock and trying hard to shove the man away. Ren lets him go, lets Hux throw himself away from Ren’s body, but the phantom grip around his wrists keeps his hands from moving where they lay on the man’s thighs, keeps him from getting too far.

He pulls away sputtering, still gagging, tears blurring his vision. He can just barely see Ren above him, face flushed and grinning wide.

“It’s okay, baby,” Ren says as his hands go back to Hux’s face, fingers stroking and pushing into his mouth again. “There’s some things you forgot and that’s okay. We’ll just have to practice so you can do it like you did before, all right?” Ren’s voice is eerily calm and almost sweet, even as his middle and index finger push into Hux’s mouth.

“Come on,” And then Ren’s pushing Hux’s head down, guiding his mouth back to Ren’s cock.

But this time there’s no gradual build up, Hux has no control. Ren’s hands on his head just push him down, shoving his cock into Hux’s throat swiftly and hard, sending him into a fit of gagging and coughing.

“Yeah, that’s it, baby. Just take it,” Ren hisses out above him, voice barely audible as Hux writhes against the cock in his mouth. It’s too much, too fast, it hurts and he can’t stop the wet, harsh hacking noises.

Ren lets up abruptly and Hux wrenches away, but the grip of Ren’s hand in his hair keeps him close.

“Let me go--” Hux tries, throat aching, spit and tears running down his face, but Ren doesn’t let him stay up for long. Too soon, his hands are pushing again and Hux tries to struggle, but Ren breaks his resistance easily and then his cock is back inside again.

He does it over and over; drives his cock into Hux’s mouth as deep as he can, until Hux’s nose is pressed into Ren’s pubic hair and he can feel the man’s sac against his chin. He holds Hux there even when his whole body bucks, and he can’t breathe past the cock in his throat, and he fights as hard as he can. He holds Hux there until his vision starts to darken and Hux is sure that he’ll die, suffocating. Then Ren will finally let up, let Hux take in heaving, desperate breaths. Ren never allows him to gasp out more than one or two words, before forcing him down again, driving in deep.

His throat hurts, and he can’t seem to stop the gagging and the coughing now that he’s started, but that doesn’t slow Ren down. There’s a new taste on his tongue, almost bitter, and Ren’s grunting hard and loud above him. Hux tries to keep fighting, but his head is swimming and he can’t keep it up, especially when it has no effect, when Ren hardly seems to notice.

Dimly, he can tell Ren is getting close because it gets worse; he holds Hux’s head still with a hand fisted into his hair and the other holding his mouth open. Ren fucks into his mouth then, holding his head at just the right angle so his cock goes down Hux’s throat every time. Ren gets louder and louder, trembling under Hux’s hands and then he buries deep and Hux feels Ren’s cock pulse in his mouth, in his throat. A burst of hot liquid hits the abused channel and then Ren’s pulling out, the hand in Hux’s mouth grasping his cock and Hux has to close his eyes as more of Ren’s seed spills over his face. He feels it land over one eye, then Ren lets out a broken cry and more of it splashes over his nose and lips, inside his open, panting mouth.

It’s over, it’s over. Hux could sob with relief as the head of Ren’s cock nudges over his skin, spreading come over his face. But Hux doesn’t care right now, all he cares about is the air he sucks in desperately. Ren’s hand is gentle in his hair now, fingers stroking along his scalp while Hux’s head leans heavily on Ren’s thigh, the man’s softening cock resting on his face. It’s over.

Above him, Hux hears Ren sigh, “Good boy, such a good boy, just for me.”

Chapter Text

Ren doesn’t leave so quickly after that.

He lingers, using the bottom of his shirt to wipe the mess from Hux’s face, his touch surprisingly gentle. Hux is much too exhausted to do much but sit still, so many parts of him aching and sore and raw. There’s something different there too, a quiet ball of panic that wells up in him, just waiting to spill out, but he reins it in. He tells himself there’s no good in panicking, even as he feels like he’s fracturing apart. He focuses instead on rising when Ren pulls him up, following the man to the bed, though he bears considerably more of Hux’s weight this time.

Hux goes to the bed gratefully, eager to be left alone, to let go of the fear and rage and panic just for a little while. He needs to be alone, needs to recover, needs to get to work. He lays down on his side this time, trying to ignore the way his hands tremble, ignore the pain when he tries to swallow. He expects Ren to leave then, but instead he lays down beside Hux in the bed, his hands adjusting Hux’s body like he’s just a toy, a doll. Ren lays on his side too and pulls Hux back against him, his arm pillowing Hux’s head, his body pressed in a long line all along Hux’s back. Hux has to bite down on the inside of his cheeks to keep from screaming at Ren to leave him alone; the welts on his skin ache when he even thinks of what Ren could do if he was given the right motivation.

So Hux stays still, every muscle tense, hands clenched into fists, but Ren seems to be perfectly comfortable. His hand is splayed over Hux’s abdomen where the marks on his skin are the worst, his fingertips trailing over them gently, but it still makes Hux hiss. Ren’s lips are at his ear then, pressing to it gently and Hux wants to throw him across the room.

“Shh, it’s alright. Get some rest.” Hux feels the sheet slide over them then, knows that Ren must have used his powers to summon it. “You’re gonna need it.”

It takes Ren all of five minutes to fall asleep after that, his hand still pressed low on Hux’s stomach. Hux doesn’t sleep at all.

He can’t. Not when every breath he takes hurts, when he can’t move thanks to the pain in his body and Ren’s hands holding him in place. He certainly can’t sleep after what Ren said, how calmly he spoke.

You’re gonna need it.

Hux doesn’t want to know what he’ll need rest for, doesn’t want to consider the possibility - but he must.

Ren will likely rape him.

Considering everything else that Ren has done - the way he’s spoken, the things he’s already made Hux do - it’s become inevitable. It may very likely be unavoidable.

Hux isn’t foolish enough to believe that he might be able to overpower Ren. It doesn’t matter that Hux has years of battle strategy and combat training, Ren has the Force at his beck and call. Even if Hux doesn’t completely understand it - has always despised it, in many ways - he knows that the power of it is undeniable. He’s seen it first hand now, had felt the quiet strength of it with even just a twitch of Ren’s fingers. There’s no way he can win against that.

That doesn’t mean that he can’t try, of course. He could try fighting Ren with his bare fists and no weapon; he could try, but that wouldn’t stop Ren. It was made very clear to Hux that there is no way for him to stop Ren from having whatever he wants, including Hux himself.

Even his mind isn’t free from Ren.

Ren can read every stray thought that passes through his mind, can see it all and Hux has no way of stopping that. His mind might have been his only way out of this, but now… Now he has nothing.

Nothing, except moments like this.

Ren breathes heavy and slow, his body loose and tight against Hux’s. Hux shifts in Ren’s arms until he’s laying on his back and Ren only lets out a groan of protest before pulling Hux in close again as soon as he’s settled.

His face is almost serene in sleep, soft and calm. It’s a glimpse of the man that Kylo Ren could have been without Snoke, without the Force.

Vulnerable.

It’s unexpected. Hux is a prisoner here and yet Ren has chosen to make himself vulnerable by falling asleep beside him. Hux could do whatever he wanted, he could wrap the blanket around Ren’s neck and the man might not even notice until it’s too late.

But what happens when he wakes up? When he decides he’s done enough waiting, when he decides his desires matter more than Hux’s permission.

Hux needs a weapon. Something small, something he can hide easily. He might be able to break something, might be able to sharpen it, if he’s given enough time. Time is all he has now, it’s his weapon just as much as it is his doom. How long can Hux stall Ren from taking what he wants? How long would Ren wait to break him?

He needs to become unbreakable then. He needs to take whatever’s coming in the long days ahead until the right moment comes.

It’s not that long ago that he had convinced himself of this; had tried to come to terms with the things he would have to do in order to survive, in order to break free. It had seem easier then to make those promises to himself. The path was clear.

And then Ren had dashed all his determination to pieces like it was nothing. With his throat aching and the taste of Ren’s seed on his tongue, it’s hard to find his nerve, find the strength he’ll need to continue on.

Hours and hours go by like this, with Hux’s mind turning and turning over every detail, trying to find a way out, trying to find his courage, trying to come to terms with what he may have to do if he wants to leave alive. At some point, Hux is so exhausted, so overwhelmed by the circling plans for freedom and the truth that follows, he finally sleeps.

Hux never used to have nightmares. Perhaps when he was younger, but he doesn’t remember much before he first entered the Academy and by then he was too busy to worry about dreaming. Even after the destruction of the Hosnian System, Hux slept peacefully. He had no need of nightmares, no reason to feel guilt when he had only been doing what was right. What he had been ordered to do.

But when he falls asleep, he dreams of Ren.

Ren on top of him, his grin impossibly wide while he thrusts into Hux and Hux swears he can feel the ripping pain of it. Ren’s mouth only seems to get wider and wider, that ugly cut marring his face seeming to rip open with it until it’s consuming his whole face and he’s nothing but a mess of muscle and bone, still grinning at Hux.

And they’re surrounded by people. They’re all people that Hux doesn’t know, but somehow he does. They’re all dead. They’re the people who died in the Hosian System and when he calls out to them for help, they just smile. They smile and laugh and the smile grows too big for their faces too. He’s surrounded by a mess of blood and muscle and bone, and he can feel Ren inside him, tearing--

“Wake up,” That horrific grin says, leaning down close enough that blood drips onto Hux’s face, “ Wake up. ”

“Wake up!”

Hux’s eyes snap open and there’s Ren, leaning over him, too close. Fear tightens up his throat enough that Hux struggles to breathe through it, not sure if the nightmare is over now. He’s shaking, his breath coming in short, hard gasps and he can’t make it stop.

“Hux, come on-- hey, breathe, Hux. ” Ren’s voice is firm, blatant worry written all over his face. His hand comes up to Hux’s chest and the panic in him spikes. But Ren just moves his hand over Hux’s chest in small circles, his touch gentle enough that it barely hurts. “Come on, you’re okay, you’re safe. Breathe with me.”

Ren presses his forehead to Hux’s and he’s so consumed by the fear and panic that Hux doesn’t even try to fight him off, just closes his eyes. He can feel Ren’s chest moving against his own, can feel the big, deliberate breaths the man takes and tries to follow them. Ren continues breathing slow, his hand still rubbing circles into Hux’s skin and it should hurt, but it soothes him, loosens something inside of him until he’s finally able to take one deep, gasping breath.

“Yeah, that’s it, there we go, good boy. Again, come on.”

It goes on like this for another twenty-three minutes, Ren breathing with him, Ren soothing him, Ren pressed in close. Hux can’t bring himself to push Ren away yet, not when his arms feel limp and useless (not when it’s working).

“Shh,” Ren’s lips at his ears, nose nuzzling at his skin and Hux can just barely feel the scar graze his cheek, struggles to hold back a gag at the sensation, “Shh, it’s alright, baby.”

“Get off of me,” Hux says, though it hurts to do so thanks to Ren’s earlier abuse of his throat.

He expects that Ren will ignore his words, will keep trying to smother him with his body, but instead Ren just rolls to the side. He doesn’t go far though, just pulls Hux in close, his front pressed along Hux’s back.

He can feel the hard line of Ren’s cock nestled right up against his ass.

That bone deep limp feeling in his limbs goes away fast at that and Hux tenses up in Ren’s arms.

But Ren doesn’t even comment on it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He says instead, his voice so gentle and almost kind. But Hux knows better.

“Can’t you just pull it out of my head?” Hux snarls back, his voice a broken rasp, his fists bundled up close to his chest with Ren’s arm looped around his waist.

The tips of Ren’s fingers dance lightly and idly over his skin and Hux has to resist the urge to jerk away from his touch. He has nowhere to go.

They’re both quiet for so long that Hux begins to wonder if Ren’s forgotten all about it, if Ren will leave it alone. He doesn’t, of course.

“I caught glimpses,” Ren finally says, his voice a quiet vibration against the shell of Hux’s ear, “I know you were dreaming about me. I know that you dreamt about me inside you.”

Ren takes a breath then, deep and shuddering, his hips moving against Hux’s ass and grinding his hard cock against him. Hux tries to throw Ren’s hands off him then, brings his legs up to get the fuck away from the man, but hands lock around his wrists and Ren’s legs pin him in place. He still struggles, letting out yells of effort to get away, but Ren holds him still with a combination of brute strength and the Force.

“Shh, shh, ” Ren hisses against his ear until Hux stills, made so by Ren’s hands, “You’re so good for me, always so good for me,” Ren murmurs, his hips rocking forward slow and steady, dragging his clothed cock along Hux’s bare ass. “Stayed right here all night, just for me, didn’t you? Didn’t even need your cuff to remind you who you belong to.”

Hux jerks then, looking down to where his feet are tangled with Ren’s. There’s no cuff around his ankle, just bare skin.

He hadn’t thought-- he didn’t know-- he thought--

He failed.

He’d had his freedom here all along - for hours and hours - and he’d never even noticed.

The despair fills his throat, cuts deeper than anything.

He’s supposed to be so much better than this.

“Hey,” Ren says, voice rising now, “Hey, hey, it’s okay, baby. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Wrong , so wrong. “You’re learning where you belong, remember?” Ren says it like it’s supposed to be a comfort, but it just makes it worse, so much worse.

Disgust chokes him and Hux hardly reacts when Ren’s suddenly pushing him onto his front.

“Such a good boy for me, Hux, ” Ren pants into his ear, one of his hands leaving Hux’s wrist (and quickly replaced by a phantom grip), to open the front of his pants. It’s skin on skin then, Hux can feel to smooth tip of Ren’s cock against the small of his back. Ren shifts, his knees on either side of Hux’s hips, one long arm still stretched to press Hux’s wrist to the bedding next to his head. He feels Ren moving over him then.

Ren thrusts his cock over Hux’s skin, his cock nestled between the globes of Hux’s ass. He can distinctly feel the head of it bumping against his hole and Hux begins to wonder if this will be it. If this is the moment he always knew was coming, if Ren is going to brutalize him here and now.

He keeps waiting for the moment, but it never comes. Ren’s cock gets slick with pre-come, sliding a little easier over his skin and the head of his cock still nudges at his hole, but never breaches. Ren’s breathes raggedly above him, muttering out slurs and words that Hux can only barely hear over the rushing of his own breath.

A detached part of Hux wonders how Ren can do this, can go from offering Hux comfort and kindness to using his body as though he is a toy meant only for Ren’s pleasure. When he closes his eyes, Hux sees the droid that looks so much like him, the droid with come stains over it’s synthskin and smiling to prettily at anyone who entered the room.

Ren grunts over him, his body moving harder and faster and Hux can’t help gasping out as Ren’s hands tighten on him, pressing him into the unrelenting bed. He wonders, manically, if the droid was a real person before Ren got his hands on it. It doesn’t make any sense, of course - he’d blown the things head open himself, had watched the circuits and black oil pour out of it - but he can’t help wondering it that will be his fate. To become just a toy for Ren’s desires.

His breath hiccups with sobs that Hux tries to quash, but tears drip down his face anyway as Ren uses his body.

The thrusts quickly become frenzied, Ren’s body pressing down on him as close as it can, his mouth biting and kissing at the skin of Hux’s back between panted out praises of, “--such a good slut for me, just for me-- ”

Hux can’t close his eyes because all he can see is that used up little droid, but there’s no other escape from Ren’s abuse. He feels all of it, the wet hot breaths Ren lets out, the slippery length of Ren’s cock against his ass, the pain each gasp he lets out, the ache all along his front, all of it. He stares where Ren’s got his hand pinned to the bed, clenched into a tight fist until his nails cut into his skin, Ren’s grip white-knuckled around his wrist. Ren’s head is bent over his, dark lengths of hair obscuring his view.

It just gets worse, Ren’s hips moving harder and faster, grinding down into Hux’s body without ever penetrating him until Ren suddenly stills and tenses up all over. His teeth sink hard into Hux’s shoulder blade, hard enough that a scream tears it’s way free from Hux’s throat and he tries to struggle, but Ren just holds on, letting out a loud groan. White-hot come splashes over Hux’s ass and lower back, Ren’s cock twitching against his skin. Ren doesn’t stay still for long before he’s moving again, thrusting against Hux’s skin just as hard as before like he’s trying to milk this for all it’s worth.

It feels like a little piece of Hux has been chipped away.

Ren wasn’t even inside of him, but Hux already feels so disgusted, so hateful, so shattered. It will only be worse if-- when Ren decides that this isn’t enough for him.

Ren finally flops down onto the scant space of the bed beside Hux and he’s grinning , his smile so wide and boyish that Hux barely recognizes him. His power still holds Hux down as he lays there panting and beaming up at the ceiling, body absolutely relaxed.

Hux thinks that he’s never hated Ren more than he does in this moment.

Ren rolls onto his side, still smirking as he traces his fingers over the deep teeth marks he left in Hux’s skin. His fingers slide down Hux’s skin with a sigh, finally reaching the mess of come he left behind. It makes Hux’s stomach roil when he feel Ren rubbing his come into Hux’s skin, spreading it along his ass, using a wet finger to rub along Hux’s hole.

“I love you, so much,” Ren murmurs, pressing his lips to Hux’s bare shoulder.

“I hate you.”

For a moment, it’s as though Ren didn’t hear him. His fingers keep playing in the come on Hux’s skin, that smile stays in place. Then everything freezes and Ren frowns, sitting up onto his elbow, confusion written on his face.

“What?”

The power pinning Hux down weakens with Ren’s shock and Hux shoves himself up and back, as far from Ren as he can get when he’s cornered in.

“I hate you,” Hux says again, his voice a little stronger, a little louder now. He revels in the hurt that flashes in Ren’s eyes, the pain.

“N-No--”

“I hate you.” Louder, louder.

“That’s not what you’re supposed--” Kylo tries to shout over him, getting angry now, but Hux can’t stop.

“I hate you, Kylo Ren.” Hux screams it, so loud that it shocks both of them into silence.

It feels good to hurt Ren like this, to see the open pain on his face just from Hux’s words. Good. Let him suffer. Hux opens his mouth to say it again, but--

Ren’s eyes seem to darken with rage and then there’s an overwhelming pressure in Hux’s head. It feels like his ears are about to pop, like when a shuttle makes the transition out of a planet's atmosphere.

“Say you love me,” He can hear Ren’s voice in his head and in the real world, echoing, the pressure increasing again and again.

“I--” No, no, he doesn’t want to say it, it’s not true, he hates Kylo ren.

“ Say you want me! ” Ren screams and it echoes again, this time feeling like his brain matter is being crushed inside his skull. The pain of it becomes so overpowering that he feels numb with it.

Hux only screams and then Ren’s hands are on his face, gripping his head too tight and forcing him to look Ren in the eye.

“ Say you love me! ” Ren snarls, screams in his face, his visage twisted and made ugly by his fury and Hux remembers vividly his nightmare, remembers the scar ripping open, that ugliness consuming Ren’s whole body.

It feels like his head might explode with the weight of Ren’s powers bearing down on him and part of Hux hopes it might, hopes that this will kill him so it can be over , so he can be free.

“No.” He manages to gasp out, Ren’s grip on him the only thing keeping him upright.

Something on Ren’s face changes then, slipping from pure rage into horror. He releases Hux so abruptly that Hux falls forward against Ren’s chest, every muscle in his body too wrung out to function.

Ren moves away from him quickly then, as though the touch of Hux burns his skin and Hux falls to the bedding like a ragdoll. Hux can’t move, the pain of Ren’s mind pushing down so hard on his making even the thought of moving hurt.

Hux can only barely keep his eyes open, but he catches a glimpse of the sorrow and misery on Ren’s face before the man flees the room.

When the darkness comes for him, Hux welcomes it with open arms.

Chapter Text

The darkness lasted a long time.

Hux can’t remember how long he was unconscious after Ren left. Several cycles could have gone by and Hux would have been blissfully unaware. Those brief moments when he would wake were only filled with pain, throbbing through every inch of him. He’d blink his eyes against the bright light, try to move, to find some relief, only for the pain drag him back under again.

Pain became his only way of following the passage of time.

The bacta that Ren applied so long ago helped with the welts on his skin, even the small amount of it made them fade to dark bruises. His throat still ached and his wrist had Ren’s long fingers bruised into the skin, but it had been much worse.

His head was the worst of it, hurting so terribly that even turning his head to look at the door made him cry out. The lights in the room were too bright, even through his shut eyes they seemed to burn him from the inside out. He struggled to get his limbs to cooperate when he tried to move, like he’d just woken from a coma and his whole body was in entropy.

He’s not sure how long he spent there, forcing his body to move, holding on to all the determination he last left to keep him going, to keep trying. He drew on his hatred for Ren, on the memory of that bastard panting over him, on the feeling of Ren’s dried come on his back to fuel his wrath. The stabbing pain in his head so bad he’s reduced to tears by the time he finally managed to raise his right arm, to make it bend and flex, to form a fist again.

And then he starts all over again with the other arm.

He spends hours and hours like this, forcing his body out of whatever trauma it is that Ren caused to it. The pain serves as a reminder of all that Ren has done, all that Ren has promised to do. Before, Hux had thought to simply suffer through it, to let Ren do as he wished, to lull him into a false sense of security, but now--

Hux worked at it, non-stop, until he’s able to stand and walk again. At first, Hux had to brace himself on the bed in order to keep upright, but eventually he overcame that need too. Ren forgot the cuff around his ankle in his rush to leave, so he was able to walk freely around the room. Every step hurt, sent waves of pain radiating up into the migraine that hurt so bad it felt like his brain had liquified in his skull. There was a part of him that wanted - very desperately - to crawl back into the bed, to hide away, and sleep until the pain was gone.

But he couldn’t afford to.

So Hux walked. Even though it hurt, even though he was exhausted, he walked. He walked and he planned.

When the door keypad beeps, Hux is sitting on the bed, left side pressed as close to the wall as he can get, arms wrapped around his legs and keeping them close to his chest. He keeps his eyes locked on the tops of his knees, but he hears Ren moving into the room, slowly. The sound of Ren’s footsteps pause often, as though Ren keeps considering leaving. Hux wants for that to be true, desperately, even knowing that Ren will likely have brought food and he hasn’t eaten in days.

He hears something set down on the table, sees Ren’s tall, black form from the corner of his eye. He closes his eyes against the sight, just wishing for Ren to leave the food and go, but Ren’s moving closer to him. Eventually, Hux feels the farthest edge of the bed sink with Ren’s weight and all Hux thinks of is his fear, his terror, his desire for freedom.

“I wish you wouldn’t think like that,” Ren says, voice so low Hux almost doesn’t hear it, but he can’t ignore Ren, not when he poses a constant threat to Hux. The sigh Ren lets out is heavy hearted and Hux knows he must have heard that thought.

“I just…” Ren starts, tries again, “I can’t think straight around you.” He sounds helpless, hopeless, “I knew it as soon as I saw you that I had to have you, that you would be everything to me and I-- I wouldn’t be able to go one without you, Hux. I can’t.”

He hears Ren move, feels him shifting closer and when Hux opens his eyes, Ren’s right there, hands stretched out towards Hux.

It’s pure survival instinct that has Hux flinching away from those reaching hands, immediately thinking of claws and Ren’s echoing voice in his head commanding him to say something that isn’t true.

Ren’s hands pull away at that flinch and Hux glimpses a pained grimace on the man’s face. There are dark circles under Ren’s eyes, they’re bloodshot red, and he looks far paler than usual. Probably hasn’t been sleeping.

Good. He should know how Hux felt.  

“I do know,” Ren answers the words Hux never said and it’s a violation, a violation of his mind again. “I’m sorry-- I’m sorry!” Ren says, moving closer again, using his body to box Hux in whether he realizes it or not. Ren doesn’t stop his hands this time when Hux flinches, just reaches out and pets at Hux’s head with one hand, the other grasping gently, but firmly at Hux’s bicep. “I’m sorry, I don’t-- I don’t know how to stop it, I never--”

Ren stops himself, sighing deeply again, like it hurts to speak, to breathe. He looks down and Hux can see the tears leaking down his cheeks. Ren openly weeps before him and Hux feels a terrible kind of satisfaction at the sight.

Ren’s hands are almost soothing, caressing over Hux’s skin gently.

“I’m so, so sorry,” Hux doesn’t have to say anything, Ren just reduces to sobbing, his head falling forward onto Hux’s knees. Ren’s body is curled up around Hux’s, pressed in close and Hux has to remind himself to breathe .

“Please, please, Hux-- you have to forgive me,” Ren mumbles, shaking his head even as his forehead presses into Hux’s knees. “Please, I won’t-- I won’t do it ever again-- I promise I won’t! I need you to forgive me, Hux - baby - please!”

Hux steels himself. He seethes and he hates , but he can give Ren this. He can give him this in exchange for peace.

His hands are shaking when they card through Ren’s messy hair. It’s knotted, but Hux carefully works through it until Ren’s sobs are soothed, reduced just to faint hiccups.

Carefully then, Hux slides his right hand down to Ren’s jaw, pushing just enough to encourage Ren to lift his head and Ren follows the push of his hand willingly. Hux pushes Ren’s mangy hair out of his face, takes in his pathetic state.

He could almost feel sorry for Ren.

“It’s okay,” Hux says carefully, looking Ren in the eye, making sure he has Ren’s undivided attention before he speaks again, “I forgive you.”

Then Hux twists his fingers into Ren’s hair, putting every ounce of power and hate he has left into smashing Ren’s right temporal lobe into the concrete wall beside them.

Ren doesn’t even cry out, though his mouth falls open and he sways, tries to grasp at Hux. Hux can feel the coil of the Force in the air and acts quickly, slamming Ren’s head into the wall again, then once more. Finally, Ren’s body goes limp, falling against Hux.

There’s a bright red stain stark against the grey concrete.

Hux acts quickly, shoving Ren’s body off of him. He has to climb over the body to get around Ren, but Hux isn’t thinking of that. He’s looking at the door because--

It’s open. It’s fucking open.

Hux remembers now that he never heard the second chime, signalling that the door had been locked again properly.

He cheers Ren’s stupidity as Hux runs for the door, pausing only to grab the ration packs that Ren brought with him. Along with them is a grey tunic, too large for Hux, but it’s better than nothing at all. Hux runs to the door, not bothering to turn back, not wanting to.

Outside the door is a long hallway stretching out to the left and the right, just as Hux thought. It’s been long enough that the motion activated lights have turned off since the last person who passed beneath them. He can’t see a door, but it doesn’t matter. He just needs to get away. He chooses left.

Hux runs.

It’s hard, he’s dizzy and nauseous and still so weak, but the adrenaline fuels him and he works past it. He can’t afford weakness, not now, not when he’s so close to freedom.

The hallway twists and turns, seems to go on forever and Hux feels panic closing his throat up tight. What if he went the wrong way? What if this is only leading him deeper into the bunker? What if he was wrong?

But then the light ahead of Hux flickers on and he sees the big open space of a hangar, feels joy a relief pump through him. Almost there, he’s made it, he’s free--

Hux runs into a wall, his shoulder and head cracking into it so hard it knocks him off his feet. But when Hux looks up, there is no wall before him, only the end of the hallway and the vast open space of the ship hangar. He scrambles to his feet, abandoning the ration packs on the floor and tries to keep going but when he stretches his hand out, it touches on a wall, solid and invisible. He pushes on it, but there’s no give and he can see his means to freedom right there, he can see the escape pod he had used to get them off Starkiller Base and it’s so close he can taste it. But he can’t touch it, even as he bangs his hands on the wall, pushes and shoves like he might be able to make it move through sheer willpower.

“Hux.”

He spins around to see Ren standing there. His hair is wet with blood, it drips down the side of his face. His eyes are wide and swallowed up by black, hands clenched into shaking fists at his sides.

Hux realizes then that the wall isn’t some kind of shield or barrier, it’s created by Ren’s power to trap him here.

He wants to break down and sob, beg for his freedom, beg for mercy, beg for an end. But he won’t give in. Not after all this, not now.

“ Let me go, ” Hux screams as Ren moves closer to him, his steps slow and steady for someone who should be dead. “Release me, you sick, perverted fuck! You monster! ”

When Ren gets close enough, Hux throws his fist, aiming for the spot he’s already wounded. Just as he’s about to connect, his entire body freezes where it is and Hux can feel the tendrils of the Force holding him in place.

It’s terror that’s crawling it’s way up his throat now, looking up into Ren’s bloodied, scarred face.

Ren’s hand comes up to the side of Hux’s face, caressing gentle strokes his cheekbones. Hux wants to scream and thrash and run, but he can’t do any of it.

“Don’t worry, Hux,” Ren says, but there’s no reassurance in his voice. It’s completely flat, dull, devoid of any emotion. Ren looks Hux in the eyes and there’s cold fury smoldering there, “I forgive you.”

Ren’s hands move, grasping Hux’s head tight between them and closing his eyes. Hux can’t look away, too terrified of what might happen next, hoping quietly that Ren will just end him here and now because he’s not sure he can live through the wrath Ren’s eyes promise.

Hux watches as Ren’s brow furrows in concentration and suddenly he can hear a strange sound, like water rushing through his ears. He blinks and his vision blurs and he knows now that Ren is doing something to his head again, but he’s completely helpless to stop it. Hux can’t even open his mouth to cry out. He blinks again, and the blurriness just gets worse, the rushing in his ears just gets louder. Every part of him is screaming for help, for freedom, for safety, but it’s only in his mind.

He blinks again and everything is darkness.

The hold Ren has on him releases and Hux drops to the floor. He feels the shock of his knees hitting the ground, he feels the cold of it against his skin but--

He can’t see it.

He can’t see.

Hux lifts his hands to his face and feels his eyes; they’re there, they’re open , but all he can see is darkness, complete and utter darkness.

He opens his mouth to scream, feels his throat rattle with it, it fucking hurts , but--

He can’t hear it.

He can’t hear.

Hux screams, again and again, but he can’t hear it. His fingers tear at his face, feeling for his eyes and they’re there , but he can’t see-- he can’t see.

Hands grasp at him and Hux thrashes wildly, blindly. He feels it when his hands connect, but hands keep reaching for him - Ren’s hands - and he has no way to fight. Ren pulls him up and Hux screams words he can’t hear, throws wild punches that connect with nothing. Ren’s arms lock over his own, pinning them to his side and then Hux can feel them moving and he knows better than to hope that he’s being led somewhere safe.

He kicks and screams, but it doesn’t matter because he can’t see, he can’t hear .

Ren throws him and Hux lands on the soft, pillowed fabric of a bed. Hux scrambles up, knuckles ripping open when they bump hard into the concrete wall. He can’t see where he’s going, he can’t think properly, just flails his arms wildly. He connects with the solid metal frame of the bed and grasps for it wildly, pulling himself close to it.

He’s been yelling this whole time, but he can’t hear what he’s saying.

Hands grab at him before he can get far and Ren pulls him close, until he can feel Ren’s body against his. He realizes with a start that he’s feeling the scratch of Ren’s shirt against his back, but he can feel skin on skin when Ren’s hips grind against the swell of his ass.

Ren’s hard.

Letting out screams he can’t hear and aimless thrashing, Hux tries to tear himself free of Ren’s grip, but without his sense to guide him, Ren pins him down easily. Hux isn’t even sure if it’s Ren’s hand on the back of his neck or the powers of the Force holding him down, but it doesn’t matter.

His face is shoved into the bed, his hips pulled up by Ren’s hands and then he can’t move. This is definitely the Force now, holding him down and still.

Ren’s hands grope at his ass, pulling him open and Hux can’t decide if it makes it better or worse when he can’t see it or hear it when liquid drips over his hole. More of the liquid follows until it’s dripping down over his perineum, oozing over him slowly, Ren’s fingers holding him open and digging in bruises.

It’s worse without his sight or hearing to distract him from the way it feels . Ren’s finger pushes into him and Hux cries out, feels his mouth gaping with it, but there’s not a single sound to be heard.  

He can’t escape the feeling of Ren’s finger moving inside of him, more liquid and another finger being added too soon, too soon. It’s painful, the quick way that Ren stretches him open and Hux knows what’s coming next, he knows what Ren wants, but it doesn’t matter. There’s absolutely nothing he can do to stop it.

This is his fate.

The shape of Ren’s cock is distinct when it nudges against Hux’s hole and he knows that it’s going to be too much for him, that he’s not opened enough, that he’ll resist. Ren pushes and pushes and Hux can feel the vibration of his screams in his throat, can feel it as his skin and muscles give way to Ren’s cock.

Red.

His skin tears and all Hux can think of is the colour red. He thinks of the blood that must be oozing out of him, the way his throat hurts when he lets out screams he can’t hear, the way his body breaks under Ren’s power.

Ren’s body presses tight up against him, he feels the man’s lips nudging at his ear, feels the vibration as Ren speaks words he’ll can’t hear. Ren’s hand strokes along Hux’s side, a deceptively gentle caress before he pulls away and all Hux is left with the pain of Ren’s cock shoved deep inside.

It only gets worse when Ren starts to move, his thrusts slow and short, hands gripping tight at Hux’s hips to pull him back onto his cock. Hux screams and screams because it’s all he can do, Ren’s powers keeping him from flailing and fighting. Ren works his way up steadily, his thrusts controlled and precise at first before they become harder, sharper, frantic.

Hux feels like he’s being torn in half, but he is completely powerless to stop it.

He wonders - briefly, deliriously - if this is what the droid he destroyed felt when it was with Ren. He wonders again if that droid was once a whole person, real and unbroken before Ren got his hands on it.

Hux can feel the tears leaking down his face.

Ren keeps going and going, ripping him open from the inside out unrelentingly. He doesn’t stop, his cock pounding harder and deeper into Hux. His hands are everywhere, grasping and squeezing at Hux’s skin, tugging his hair and pulling Hux up. Ren’s lips move against his ear and this time Hux can feel Ren’s voice in his mind, invading and pushing.

You’re mine, Hux. Now and always.

Ren lets him fall forward again and Hux is free from the push of the Force, but he doesn’t bother to move, to fight. Ren fucks into him and Hux lays there, taking the pain, thinks of shattered mirrors and blood seeping over glass.

There’s a white-hot rush when Ren comes in him and Hux feels it so clearly, feels the heat of it inside him, feels it run over his skin when Ren pulls out of him, feels his body clench around the sudden emptiness.

He’s sobbing, hard wracking sobs that he can’t control and what does it matter? If he can’t hear them, can anyone else? If he can’t see, then there isn’t anyone to see him.

No one, but Ren.

Hux falls to his side when Ren’s hands finally release him, but he can’t move. It hurts too much and he can’t escape it. He jumps when he feels that blanket settle over him, realizes suddenly how hard he’s shaking, uncontrollably.

Ren’s hand strokes over his hair again and Hux twitches at the feel of lips pressing to his temple.

I love you, Hux. My perfect, beautiful Hux.

Chapter Text

Every night he dreams.

He sees the droid, his clone, his copy. It's laying on its side in Kylo Ren’s bed, its back to Hux. He feels out of place, like he shouldn't be here, but he knows he has to look. He steps closer, hears the click of his boots on the floor, the hum of the Finalizer’s engines around him. Something in him is screaming at him to run away, to get as far as he can, to escape, but he has to look first. He needs to know.

He gets close enough, leans forward and touches the droid’s shoulder.

It rolls onto its back and smiles at him serenely. Blood, red and congealed on the droid’s head, paints the side of its face while wires and broken circuitry spill out of the gaping hole. But still it smiles, sitting up and getting to its knees before Hux. They’re level with each other this way, face to face. The droid looks different than he remembers, no shining synthskin, no seams at its joints; it looks as real as he does.

“Welcome back, Hux,” it says with his voice, reaching up to grasp at his shoulders, sliding hands up into his hair and pulling him close.

There’s a scream bubbling up in his throat, but he can’t open his mouth to let it out. He needs to run now , but his feet won’t move. He needs to shove the thing away, but his arms feel like they’re pinned to his sides.

It leans in, angling its mouth over his, and kissing him. Its mouth-- his mouth--pulls at his, sucking at his lips, tongue pushing his mouth open and he can’t stop it, he can’t do anything to save himself. He can feel the droid’s blood on his lips, but it doesn’t taste coppery, it doesn’t taste like blood. It tastes like oil.

The kiss steals his breath away, literally. He keeps trying to suck in great gulps of air, but the droid seems to pull his breath into itself before he can. He hyperventilates as the droid kisses him harder, harder, desperately, hands tugging and fisting into his hair. The wet smacks of its lips against his seem to echo in the room, over the sound of someone sobbing brokenly. Distantly, he knows that it’s him who's crying, that he’s the one heaving out sobs, but that doesn’t stop it. He can’t stop any of it.

He can’t breathe .

The droid clings tighter and tighter to him until he’s not able to gasp in any more than short, quick breaths. The droid’s skin feels rubbery now against his, slick and sticky with his own panic-fueled sweat. There’s heat too, along every inch where the droid is plastered to him, and they’re melting. They’re melting together, their skin sticking, fusing them into one. He’ll be lost now, lost for real this time. There never was a droid. The droid was always just him, forgetting and forgetting, just like Kylo said.

He screams himself awake; it rattles his throat, but he doesn’t hear the sound.

Waking up is the worst.

He never knows when he’s fallen asleep, never knows if he’s truly awake, or if his eyelids are sewn shut.

He sits up, grasping at his face, feeling for his eyes with shaking hands. They’re still there, open, and leaking tears.

Big hands wrap around his and Hux startles, trying to jerk away from the touch. But those hands hold him steady.

I’m here, Hux, baby. I’m here.

“Kylo.”

Kylo is a constant. Kylo is his eyes and ears now that he’s taken them away. Kylo is his point of reference, his crutch, his center.

Kylo’s hands are on his face and Hux manages to keep still as Kylo’s thumbs brush over his cheeks, wiping away the tears. It’s comforting; just that simple caress eases the knot of fear in Hux’s chest. He wants to lean into the touch, wants to collapse into Kylo and let himself fall apart.

But he hasn’t given in yet. He’s come close to it many times, but he hasn’t sought out Kylo’s touch.

Not that it matters. Kylo is in his mind, always there speaking to him without words. Kylo knows what he needs, even when he refuses to ask for it.

It’s time to eat.

Kylo’s hand slides down over his shoulder and arm, over the cloth of the thin, long-sleeved shirt he’s been given, to wrap around his wrist. He tugs gently and Hux follows, letting himself be guided up and over to the table.. Kylo places Hux’s hands on the chair and then supports him as he feels around, finds the seat and settles down.

Kylo’s big hands are almost always on him now, and when the contact disappears, Hux is lost. He’s drifting in an ocean of darkness and silence and panic ratchets up his throat. An eternity passes before Kylo’s hand touches his knee and he comes back to himself. He focuses on that point of contact, on the gentle press of Kylo’s hand against him. Another hand grabs his wrist and lifts, then plastic brushes against the tips of his fingers. He reaches forward on his own, touching the plastic of a ration pack with both hands. It’s already open and warmed for him. He has to feel around for the opening at the top, then delves his hand inside.

He goes hungry most days.

Kylo doesn’t bring food very often. At first, Hux tried to use meals as a way of keeping track of time, but Kylo is sporadic with it at best. Any other time, Hux would have tried to figure out why, tried to fix the situation. Now, he feels reduced to nothing but instinct and sensation.

He eats slowly, knowing that it will only upset his stomach if he shovels the food into his mouth the way he wants to.

What were you dreaming? Kylo’s voice in his mind brings comfort, echoes in the dark silence he’s been trapped in.

“Nothing.” Hux can feel his lips and tongue shaping the word, but he can’t hear it. It was instinct to deny the dream, even though Kylo will know.

You’re lying. Kylo’s hand tightens on his leg, the grip just shy of too-tight and Hux can’t hold back a wince. One of the worst things about being blind is that he can’t see Kylo’s face, can’t read his thoughts there.

“I’m sorry,” he says automatically. He remembers the droid, the way it looked in his dream; his lips tingle from its phantom kiss.

He knows that Kylo has seen this in his mind by the silence that surrounds them for a while. Hux focuses on eating, doing his best not to think of anything at all except getting food into his system. He doesn’t even care what it tastes like.

It’s okay to miss the way things were . Kylo’s voice is sudden, soft, comforting. Every part of Hux rebels against that statement, like a wild animal beating against the bars of its cage. We’ll get you there again.

No, no, no, that’s not what Hux wants. He wants to see again, to hear. He wants to be free. He wants--

Hux. Kylo’s fingers will leave bruises imprinted in his thigh and Hux quickly quashes the panic, the fear that clouds his mind; it’s no use to him now.

“I’m sorry, Kylo.”

The only response he receives is the dry press of lips to his forehead. He manages to quell the urge to run.

The rest of their meal passes in echoing silence, though Kylo’s hand is always on him. It moves from his knee, to his thigh, curves along his side and he feels Kylo’s knee bump against his outer hip. Kylo must be much closer than Hux originally thought and it scares him that he has no way of knowing for certain just how close Kylo is without willingly touching him. And he doesn’t want that.

Kylo will take even the slightest touch from Hux as an invitation, he’s learned that now.

Early on, Kylo had taken Hux to use the refresher (an experience Hux had done his best to erase from his memory). Hux was weaker then; walking was difficult even with the aid of the bacta that Kylo had applied to heal some of the tears in Hux’s body. Tears that Kylo left behind.

Kylo had grabbed Hux’s hand and tucked it into the crook of his elbow. Hux was stubborn then, wanting to walk on his own, not wanting to touch Kylo. He had done well-enough by himself, though he felt like a ship floating through the vast darkness of space with no power to guide it. But he was still angry then, even as broken as he was, and he wanted none of Kylo’s help.

He’s not sure even now what it was. It occurred to him one sleepless night (or was it during a dream?) that Kylo could have been the one to do it. That Kylo made it happen.

All he knows is that one moment he was walking just fine on his own, perhaps limping too much, perhaps in too much pain, and then the next--

He stumbled, his knees buckling to try to compensate, his hands flying out blindly to grasp at something, anything, to keep him from smacking face-first into something he couldn’t see coming--

His fingers caught in the fabric of Kylo’s shirt, nails digging into skin in his desperation to keep from falling. It was instinct to grasp harder, to anchor himself to Kylo.

It worked, though he had crashed to his knees hard enough to leave bruises behind. One hand was wrapped tight around Kylo’s arm, while the other clung to the fabric of his clothing.

Always so eager for me , Kylo said then and Hux flinched, still not used to hearing Kylo’s voice invading his mind then. Always so good.

He had recoiled from Kylo then, like his hands were on fire just touching the man. He had tried to shove himself away, but Kylo was quick to catch him. He grabbed Hux’s wrists, grasped them bruising-tight in one hand and brought the other to Hux’s face, thumb caressing over his jaw. Hux tried to jerk his head away, but he couldn’t escape that grip. It wasn’t allowed.

Open your mouth.

Hux never had a choice, not with any of it. Kylo had used him, held his mouth open with the Force when Hux hadn’t complied. It wasn’t like before, he didn’t try to shove his cock down Hux’s throat nearly as often. Instead he favored rubbing his cock over Hux’s face, took his pleasure in making Hux stick his tongue out as far as possible, so he could caress it with the tip of his cock.

It felt like a different kind of claiming. When Kylo came, Hux felt it splash over his blind eyes, had to squeeze them shut quickly, and felt the come too-warm on his skin, so hot he half-expected it to burn right through.

When Kylo had recovered, he pulled Hux--gently, always gently--to his feet. Then his hands were gone and that was the first time Hux really felt it.

The void.

The void created by the loss of his senses, that feeling of floating through deep space with nothing to protect you from the darkness and the cold . All he could feel was the heat of Kylo’s come on his skin and he couldn’t move, couldn’t bring himself to try and get it off because it was all he could feel .

He was glad then to feel Kylo’s hands on him again, one hand gripping his elbow to keep him steady as Kylo swiped a finger through the come on his face. He wished for a cloth, wanted to get the mess off him, but Kylo wasn’t letting him go. Not that he could find a cloth even if he wanted to. Kylo was gathering the come off his skin and then Hux felt those fingers at his lips.

It was useless to fight, but he still tried then.

It didn’t matter.

Kylo fed Hux his come, made him swallow it down until Hux’s face was mostly clean, though he could feel the damp stickiness it left behind.

There was no part of him that Kylo wouldn’t try to take away. That he wouldn’t try to fill with himself.

So, Hux learned. He never reached for Kylo, never sought out contact, no matter how far he drifted in the void without him.

Kylo takes the ration pack away suddenly and Hux has to clench his fists from trying to snatch it back. There was still some left, how is he supposed to keep his strength up when Kylo keeps him so weak ?

Hux smothers that thought down as best as he can, before Kylo notices. But the moment passes quickly enough and there’s no retribution, none that he is able to sense, anyway. Kylo’s presence disappears too, all touch abandoning Hux and he feels like he wants to crawl out of his skin.

He settles for resting his fists in his lap and digging his nails into the palms of his hands. They’re longer than he would prefer them, but that also makes them more effective in keeping him grounded. The feeling reminds him of being on the bridge of the Finalizer and doing the same during alpha shift. He can remember the voices of his crew, the precise hues of red and blue and yellow that made up their displays. He remembers staring out at the expanse of stars and galaxy before him and planning every step towards conquering it. Bringing it all under the heel of his boot.

His throat tightens, eyes burning with the now-familiar sensation of tears. Kylo’s hand touches his head this time and long fingers card roughly through his hair. Hux can’t ignore the flood of relief that fills him, the comfort it gives him.

I have to go.

Hux freezes.

Immediately, he runs through the memories of the last few days, trying to find something he did wrong, something he did to displease Kylo to make him do this .

It’s not because of you . Hux is pulled up into Kylo’s arms then, the movement so sudden that his head swims. Kylo’s arms wrap tight around him and he starts to sway, to rock Hux back and forth gently on the spot. Hux’s nails bite the skin of his palms hard enough to bleed as he resists the urge to cling back to Kylo just as hard.

There’s something I need to do. Kylo wants to say more, Hux can feel it. He can feel Kylo’s emotions pushing at him: nerves, fear, sorrow, longing. But Kylo holds them back. I don’t want to leave you. Hux can feel the truth of that, can feel Kylo’s desperation to stay and he wants to shout at Kylo to just do it then. Just stay.

I love you .

“I love you too,” Hux says back automatically, but he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to mean it and every day he’s more and more afraid that he might. That needing and loving are starting to become the same thing.

Kylo’s mouth presses against his and Hux tries to think of a white room, of blankness, of nothing. He doesn’t think of kisses that taste like oil.

When Kylo pulls at him, Hux follows obediently. When Kylo pushes him to the floor, Hux doesn’t fight.

Then he feels the familiar weight of a cuff settling around his ankle and it doesn’t matter that he starts kicking and thrashing, and can feel the burn in his throat as he screams, because it’s already locked.

He nearly rips a fingernail off trying to open the cuff before Kylo manages to restrain him. Hux can feel the sobs wracking through his chest as Kylo holds him firmly, his back pressed to Kylo’s front as the man’s lips move at his ear, repeating the words he hears echo in his head.

I’ll be back soon. It’s okay baby. I know. I know. It’s only temporary; it’s to protect you. It’s okay, it’ll be over soon, I’ll come back and we can be free forever, we’ll be together forever, just like I always promised.

It’s only when his sobs have settled, when the worst of his shaking has subsided and he feels mostly normal again that Kylo moves. His hands grasp at Hux’s face--

(Ren’s hands move, grasping Hux’s head tight between them and closing his eyes. Hux can’t look away, too terrified of what might happen next, hoping quietly that Ren will just end him here and now because he’s not sure he can live through the wrath Ren’s eyes promise.)

--and those lips are back again, kissing sweetly, gently, with such tenderness that Hux could almost convince himself that Kylo really does care.

I love you .

And then he’s gone.

Hux is lost.

He tries to fight with the cuff, traces the source of the chain to a bolt in the floor. No amount of prying or tugging make it come free, not when it’s embedded so deeply. He tries standing, but that makes him feel like the cuff and chain are the only things tying him to reality in this place, keeping gravity from letting him go.

He fights past the nausea and disorientation from standing with nothing to hold onto, stretching as far as he can, but his hand touches nothing. He goes as far as the chain will allow, then moves in a slow circle, but he never touches anything . Not the walls, not the table and chairs, not his bed. Did Kylo take him somewhere else? The floors feel the same, but without his senses to guide him, the room feels twice as large as he remembers. He lies on his belly and reaches and reaches--and gets nothing.

All he can touch is the shirt, the cuff, the chain, and the floor.

So he stays on the floor, puts as much of his body in contact with it as he can. Without human touch--without Kylo’s touch--he has to find something else to ground him, to stop himself from slipping into the void that has become his reality. He’s started to think of the void as a sentient being, something that waits at the edges of his conscious for the right moment to claim him, to drag him down into its dark depths.

Hux suddenly becomes aware that he’s trembling, gasping for air like a drowning man. He’s losing all sense of self to that void Kylo has left him with. He needs a distraction, he needs to remember who he is.

First, he tries logic. Hux does what he knows best and tries to find the master strategist who became general over the galaxy’s greatest army.

Kylo said he had something he needed to do, something that would protect them. Best case scenario, the First Order has gotten close, has tried to find Hux and succeeded somehow, and now they’re here to rescue him. Captain Phasma is competent, she might succeed in leading the First Order against Kylo to save Hux.

But Hux is no fool, he knows he could never be so lucky. If he planned on the best case scenario, then he never would have made his way up to General.

(Of course, if he never became general, he might not have become so cocky, might not have believed he could kill Kylo’s toy and get away without retribution.)

So, the most likely scenario: the Resistance has arrived with that scavenger girl at the front of their army. With his limited knowledge of the Force, Hux has to assume that Force-users can sense one another even across the vastness of space. Perhaps Kylo has been hiding them, but maybe not well enough. Maybe Kylo has gone out to meet their army in the hopes of protecting Hux. Maybe Hux will be rescued from this cage only to be turned over to one of a different kind.

Anything would be better than this.

The worst case scenario was Snoke. Supreme Leader Snoke in all his terrible glory, with all his power, come to claim his apprentice. If that’s the case, Kylo is likely dead and Hux will die too, which could be bad or good, depending on his mood.

Another scenario: Kylo has decided he doesn’t want Hux anymore and has decided to leave him here for dead. Unlikely, considering the … attachment Kylo has to him, but still a possibility he can’t afford to forget.

Of course, there’s always the chance that Kylo will come back. That nothing at all will change and Hux will go back to this in-between living. Constantly on the cusp of flying off the edge, always feeling so close to death, being used like a doll, a toy for a madman’s pleasure.

The biggest danger to Hux’s life will always be the one who claims to care for him the most.

The darkness seeps in and Hux doesn’t really remember moving, but when he thinks about it, he realizes that he’s turned onto his side. He’s curled up now, arms and legs pulled as close to his chest as he can get and it’s stopped the trembling a little, but not much.

Everything feels too close and too faraway at the same time. He can’t stop thinking of Kylo’s hands, of the touches that grounded him when he felt like the galaxy was trying to swallow him up. They were a balm, a comfort that Hux needed desperately. He knows very well that Kylo is the reason he needs it in the first place; Kylo is the one who took his hearing and his sight so that he would need Kylo so badly.

But that doesn’t change the simple fact that he needs Kylo.

Hux feels hollowed out without him. The shaking has stopped now, replaced with a kind of numbness that takes over his whole body. He can barely feel the cold floor against his cheek, can’t feel the cuff around his ankle.

Time doesn’t exist without Kylo.

Hux doesn’t exist without Kylo.

Dimly, he thinks he might be crying, but he can’t be sure.

The void is there, a vacuum of space waiting to take him over and he’s ready to let it, ready for it to devour him.

He wonders if this is what dying feels like.

Or maybe he’s been dead all this time and now he’s finally realized it. Maybe this is the afterlife; just darkness and the endlessness of space all around you, for eternity.

He’s scared. He doesn’t want to die. He doesn’t want it to be over.

He latches onto whatever he can, to anything that will keep him grounded.

Kylo. Always Kylo.

Kylo’s hands on his skin, Kylo’s fingers inside him, the feel of Kylo’s cock on his face, Kylo’s voice in his mind. He remembers all of it and it feels like a dream, a promise.

Kylo will come for him. He has to.

He has to.

Hux loses all sense of self laying there on the floor. He doesn’t feel hunger, doesn’t feel the cold, doesn’t notice when he drifts to sleep.

He opens his eyes and sees darkness, but there’s something pulling at him. Something moves along his jawline, a faint touch. He feels his body hitch with a sob at the sensation, the first touch he’s had for who knows how long and he’s not even sure if it’s real or just in his mind.

Hux? I’m here, Hux, it’s me, it’s okay. Come back to me, love, come back to me.

It’s just a trick, the darkness in his mind giving him comfort, it can’t be real. Hux is dead so Kylo can’t be here.

It’s not a trick, Hux, please--

His mind tries to process that, struggles to comprehend the voice pressing in on his consciousness. He becomes aware of several things all at once: Kylo’s hand cupping his face, the touch of skin on skin at his forehead, the feeling of Kylo’s arms cradling him in his lap, holding him close, a searing heat that radiates from him and there’s so much .

“Kylo?” His lips move with the words, his throat vibrates with the sound, but he’s still not sure he even spoke.

Yes! Yes, it’s me, I’m here!

“Kylo,” Hux chokes out, bringing his hands up and finding the cloth of Kylo’s robes. He follows Kylo’s arms desperately, up to his shoulders and tries to drag Kylo closer to him. He wants to be overwhelmed by Kylo, wants to feel nothing except Kylo.

Just Kylo.

He can feel himself sobbing as he clings and clings and Kylo holds just as tight, squeezes until it’s hard for Hux to breathe, but it doesn’t matter because Kylo came back for him .

Of course I came back for you, I love you so much . I’m never leaving again, we’re safe now, he can’t get us here. We’ll be together forever now, just like I promised. No one will ever touch you again, I’ve saved you. I saved you.

It goes on and on and there’s a part of Hux that screams inside, screams that something is wrong, that it’s not supposed to be this way, but he can’t focus on it, not when Kylo’s finally come home to him.

When Kylo kisses him, Hux doesn’t fight, doesn’t try to push him away. He pulls Kylo closer, smashes their mouths together and marvels at the sensation. He can feel the rumble of Kylo’s groan against his lips.

Kylo takes him there on the floor, gets between his legs and thrusts in hard and it hurts; but Hux only clings tighter to Kylo. He can feel his body tearing to make way for Kylo’s rough, impatient thrusts, but the pain is such a relief that Hux laughs through his tears because it is proof that he is still alive.

Still alive and not alone.

It feels so good to have Kylo there, to have him inside and over and around and everywhere that Hux finds himself arching into Kylo’s touch, finds himself lifting his hips into Kylo’s frantic thrusts. A rush of surprise floods Hux and he realizes that it comes from Kylo. Kylo’s there, in his mind like a supernova, a writhing mass of colour with flares of light that take up the darkness, that banish the void.

Hux’s lips are moving constantly, whimpering out one word over and over: “ Kylo.”

Kylo’s hand reaches between them and wraps around Hux’s cock and he only realizes then how hard he is, how he’s been leaking on his stomach and something inside him screams. He smothers it, focuses on the electric pleasure as Kylo squeezes him in a too-tight fist until Hux shakes apart. He comes with a yell he doesn’t hear, a sound that tears itself from his throat and it hurts, it all hurts so much and he is so, so grateful.

Later, when Hux has Kylo’s come leaking out of him and he feels boneless, but alive , so very alive, Kylo moves them to the bed. Hux is set down gently, the blanket brought up around him, but when he feels Kylo moving away his hand darts out and twists in the fabric of Kylo’s robe.

“Don’t go. Don’t go.”

I’m not going anywhere. I’ll never leave you again.

The relief is so overwhelming, Hux is dizzied by the force of it.

Kylo must have stripped himself bare, because Hux feels the press of skin against his as Kylo climbs onto the small bed beside him. Immediately, Hux winds himself around Kylo, presses his ear to Kylo’s heart. He hears nothing, but he can feel the faintest rush of blood, can feel the thump under the skin and bone.

You’re perfect. So perfect, Hux. My perfect, beautiful Hux.

Hux falls asleep to Kylo’s mantra and he feels alive, he feels real.

The void is far away now.

The next time he opens his eyes, he has to blink against the rush of burning light. His eyes water at the brightness and he closes his eyes against it immediately. It hurts.

He can see .

The light is blinding, but Hux blinks past it until he can see the stark concrete walls and he’s crying now. He never thought he could miss something so mundane so much.

He can hear the whir of the air filtration system, can hear the rattle of his sobs as he tries to process it.

Kylo fixed him.

Hux rolls to his side and Kylo is there, but he’s different. Shockingly so.

It’s painful to look at him. His skin is deathly pale, a pasty white riddled with nearly black lines, like the veins under his skin have cracked with darkness. The scar across his face seems to smolder, burned black against his skin, and when Hux lifts his hand to touch it, searing heat radiates from it like embers from a fire.

Something happened, something changed Kylo. Just as Hux has been changed.

Kylo’s eyes are smudged grey around the sockets, like it’s been an age since he last slept. Hux feels a sting of something in his chest. Empathy, perhaps, but it’s not important.

Hux can’t stop looking at him.

A frown appears between Kylo’s eyes and Hux wonders if he’s awake, if he’s felt Hux’s gaze on him this whole time. There’s a new tension in his body that wasn’t there before, like he doesn’t want to wake up.

“Kylo?” Hux calls softly.

Slowly, Kylo’s eyes open and they find Hux’s immediately, seeking him out. Kylo looks nervous, but determined, jaw clenched as though he’s bracing for the worst. Hux understands why immediately.

The deep brown of Kylo’s eyes has disappeared, swallowed by intense black. There’s no pupil visible in either eye, just inky black so dark it seems to absorb the light around it. The irises are bigger now too, taking over nearly all the whites of his eyes and making them look impossibly large. As Hux stares, he sees the black isn’t as pure as he first thought. There’s a mirror-like shine to the darkness, as though he could see right into Kylo’s soul, if he dared to look long enough. Something glimmers on the surface, a ripple of movement, like oil settling in lazy swirls on the surface of water.

His heart is hammering in his chest; he’s seen those eyes before. He’s seen them glaring down at him, had memorized them over time, had felt the wrath of their gaze before.

Snoke’s eyes.

Hux stares into eyes as endless as the galaxy, eyes that pull him in like a black hole, and runs tips of his fingers over the skin of Kylo’s wrist.

“Welcome back, Kylo.”