Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

This sucked.

Buck threw his blankets onto the floor and slowly pushed himself into a sitting position on his couch before using both hands to swing out his giant, cast-laden leg into the open air. He scrubbed a hand down his face and looked up at his huge windows leaking in sunlight that indicated it was indeed a new day. And what did this new day bring him? A busted leg, a near empty apartment, no job and no girlfriend.

Yay.

He grabbed his crutches and hauled himself up. At least breakfast was something he had. Hopefully. He couldn’t really go shopping with his Guinness world record size leg cast and he wasn’t sure if Maddie had brought anything for breakfast when she dropped off some food yesterday. Only one way to find out.

He had only taken one crutch jump towards the kitchen before he stopped and furled his nose. What was that smell? He dropped his head and sniffed himself, his eyes going wide with disgust. Oh, it was him. Great. Maybe a shower before breakfast then.

Before he made his way to the bathroom Buck remembered that he couldn’t get his cast wet so was going to have to get a garbage bag to put over it, which was going to be a real treat to get on since he couldn’t bend his knee. He made his way into the kitchen, thankful he left his garbage bags in a high drawer, but then his eyes caught sight of his shower and his heart sank, because he didn’t just have a shower, he had a shower tub combination, with the lip of the tub being well over a foot high. Buck hung his head. Dammit, he couldn’t even have this one thing? Because sitting under a hot spray and crying his eyes out sounded pretty damn good right about now. He’d probably break his other leg if he tried to shower alone, but hey, maybe then he could call 911 and his friends would come over. That would be nice.

He huffed out a laugh and shook his head. He was being an idiot. They’ll just come over if he calls them. So Buck picked up his phone and called for help.

~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~

“Has anyone heard from Buck lately?”

It had been a quiet overnight shift at the station and the team was taking the downtime to enjoy a full breakfast, but all eyes turned away from their plates and towards Hen who had asked the question. “Any update on his leg or anything? Last I talked to him he was waiting for more test results.”

“I haven’t had a chance to call him,” Eddie said, a guilty shadow crossing over his face to join the tired bags under his eyes. Planning a funeral for his wife and organizing his shield ceremony in the same week that his best friend had his leg crushed had been … a challenge to say the least. “My parents only flew back to Texas yesterday and they’re …”

“A lot,” Chim finished for him, not bothering to make it a question or flinching under Eddie’s light glare. “We all noticed.”

“Anyway, I haven’t heard anything,” Eddie finished, stabbing lightly at his eggs.

“I don’t think he’s got the results back yet,” Bobby said as he joined them at the table with a fresh coffee. “I told him to call me when he gets them.”

“So none of us have heard from him?” Hen asked.

“Maddie saw him yesterday,” Chim said, holding out a hand to reign back her concern. “He’s fine. Very much alive. He’s probably too busy playing nursemaid with Ali to think about the rest of us slaving away at our jobs.”

“We’ve had two calls today and you took three naps,” Hen pointed out. “We’re not exactly roughing it here.”

“Oh yeah, then explain this splinter I got from an axe earlier,” Chim said waving his right index finger dramatically.

Bobby frowned. “Could be serious. Did you have a medical professional look at that?”

“I got it,” Eddie said. He grabbed Chimney’s wrist and started inspecting the tiny dot of an injury.

“Oh, this looks bad Chim,” Eddie announced solemnly. “Very swollen. I think you’ll probably lose the finger. Your tongue too if we’re lucky.”

Chim pulled his hand back and held it against his chest protectively. “Army medics, you always jump straight to amputation!”

Eddie shrugged. “Some things aren’t worth saving.”

“Like our friendship!” Chim shouted.

Before Eddie could reply his phone started buzzing on the table and his eyebrows shot up.

“Speak of the devil,” Eddie muttered then brought his phone up to his ear. “Hey Buck, what’s up?”

“Hey Eddie,” Buck said, sounding tired and a little hesitant. “Is this a good time? I know you’re working.”

“Yeah, we were just talking about you. All good things, except from Chimney. One sec, I’m gonna put you on speaker,” Eddie said.

“Oh, okay,” Buck said, surprised.

Eddie turned on the speaker then held his phone towards the middle of the table so everyone could lean in.

“Hey Buckaroo!” Hen called out.

“Hey Buck,” Bobby said.

“Hi guys,” Buck replied.

“I know you’re faking it Buckley, you just wanted the time off!” Chim yelled, earning himself an elbow from Hen.

“I wish,” Buck said. “Maybe then I could get up my own stairs.”

“Does your place have a lot of stairs?” Hen asked. None of them had seen Buck’s new apartment except Eddie who had helped him move in the small amount of furniture he bought a few days before the rig exploded on him.

“It’s uh … largely stairs, unfortunately,” Buck said, and they could all hear him shrug. “But I’m making it work.”

“You get your test results back yet?” Bobby asked.

“Nothing yet.”

“Well let us know if you need anything.”

“We miss you!” Hen added.

“I miss you guys too. A lot. I um … I need to talk to Eddie for a second though. Eds can you take me off speaker?” Buck asked, voice going small.

Eddie’s brow furrowed in concern along with everyone else.

“Yeah of course.” Eddie turned off the speaker phone and walked towards the couches for privacy. “Hey, it’s just us.”

“Thanks. Sorry, I’m probably being weird,” Buck said.

“Not weird at all. What’s up?”

“I could use a favor when you’re off work, if you have time, but you can totally say no,” Buck rushed out.

“I’m probably going to say yes. Spit it out,” Eddie said.

“I uh … I need help showering,” Buck said, barely loud enough for Eddie to hear.

Eddie tilted his head back in understanding, relieved it wasn’t something serious. “Sure man, that’s no problem.”

“Are you sure? Don’t say yes if you think it’s weird! I don’t want to be the weird guy who makes his friends come over and bathe him.”

“Buck, I’m a medical professional and your friend, it’s fine. Plus, we shower together at the station all the time.”

“Not really the same thing,” Buck said.

“It’s close enough. Happy to help.”

“Okay, thanks man. I was gonna try doing it myself but I think I would have just ended up breaking the other leg.”

“Well we don’t want that. I’ve got another hour left on my shift but I’ll see your stinky ass around noon,” Eddie said, finally pulling a laugh out of Buck.

“You say that like it’s a joke but you probably will see my actual ass,” Buck said.

“Consider me duly warned,” Eddie said. “You need anything else? I can stop by the store on the way.”

“No, I’m good. Maddie brought me a bunch of stuff, thanks. I just uh … didn’t want to ask my sister to help me shower, you know. She already saw me naked once this year and she was naked too and that seemed pretty scarring.”

“I see why you didn’t want this conversation on speaker phone,” Eddie muttered.

“No, it … it wasn’t weird! Well, no, it was weird, but it wasn’t planned! It was normal!” Buck assured him.

“Yeah, it sounds like it. I gotta go clean up breakfast but you can tell me all about it in a few hours,” Eddie said. “Or, you know what, better idea, you can not tell me about seeing your sister naked.”

“That’s fair. Please don’t tell Chim,” Buck pleaded.

“Our secret,” Eddie promised. “See you in a bit.”

“All right. Thanks. Bye Eddie.”

“Later Buck.”

~|~|~|~|~|~|~

A few hours later Eddie walked into Buck’s apartment and found his best friend sitting in the dining room with a garbage bag on the table in front of him wearing nothing but a towel.

“I know I promised it wasn’t weird that you needed help with this, but this is a little eager,” Eddie said in greeting as he walked in.

“Yeah, sorry.” Buck waved his arms in a ‘what are you gonna do’ motion. “I didn’t really have anything else to do, so I just got ready to go shower with you.”

“Not even gonna offer me a drink first,” Eddie muttered.

“Oh shit,” Buck’s eyes shot up. “Sorry, there’s water and juice. I can make you a coffee.”

“I’m fine, I’m kidding,” Eddie said, waving him off. He came over and picked up the garbage bag then shook his head as he took in the sight of Buck’s cast running all the way from his thigh to his ankle. “I swear this thing is bigger every time I see it.”

“Heavier too,” Buck said.

“Well, get lifting.” Eddie shook out the garbage bag and held it over Buck’s foot then when Buck lifted his leg he pulled it up higher until the entire cast was covered. “There you go.”

“Thanks,” Buck said, tying the edges as tight as possible then shoving the knot down into his cast.

“How you been feeling?” Eddie asked as he waited.

“Gross,” Buck said.

“Aside from that.”

For a moment it looked like Buck was going to say he was fine but then he shrugged, deflating a little as he met Eddie’s eye.

“Uh let’s see. Lost, in pain, pissed off that a truck landed on me. You can take your pick.”

Eddie sighed. “I’m sorry, I should have come and checked on you sooner …”

“Don’t apologize,” Buck cut him off. “You’ve got your own shit that you’re dealing with, man. I shouldn’t have even called you.”

“Yes, you should have. We’re a team,” Eddie told him. “We have each other’s backs.”

“You’re supposed to be helping me rappel down a building or tear open a car, not climb into the shower.”

“Helping is helping. You’d do the same for me,” Eddie countered, then held out his hand to help Buck stand. “Let’s do this.”

“Yeah, fine.”

Buck took the offered hand and let Eddie help him to his feet and into the bathroom. When they got to the lip of the tub Eddie stopped and waited for Buck’s lead.

“Did you have a plan for how you wanted to do this?”

Buck sighed. His doctors had been very clear that he was not to put any weight on his cast or ankle, even temporarily, as any pressure could affect the rod placements and rebuilt blood vessels in his leg, which meant jumping in one foot at a time wasn’t an option. If his shower curtain rod was sturdier he would have just swung himself in, but as it was he only saw one safe option.

“Just pick me up.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “You sure?”

“I was sitting at my kitchen table in a towel, I left my dignity at the door. I just want to get cleaned up. So yeah, I’m sure. Show me what you got Eight-Pack.”

“Eight pack?” Eddie muttered in confusion but didn’t dwell on it as he was already wrapping his arms around Buck’s waist. “All right, on three. One, two, three.”

Buck felt himself being picked up like he was nothing and deposited lightly into the shower where he immediately braced himself against the wall.

“You good?” Eddie asked when he was steady.

“Yeah, thanks man. I got it from here. I’ll uh call out when I’m done,” Buck said, feeling like an asshole for wanting privacy after he invited Eddie over, but Eddie waved him off again.

“Of course. I’ll just be outside.”

“Feel free to raid the fridge if you want or anything,” Buck yelled to which Eddie grunted noncommittedly as he retreated into the kitchen.

When Eddie heard the water turn on he paused for a moment, but when there were no thumps or sounds of a struggle he figured Buck had it handled and started to wander around the space. Eddie had seen it a few days before Buck had been hospitalized when he helped carry in Buck’s new couch and giant bed. The rest of the apartment had been practically empty at the time and not a lot had changed since then. Buck had been couch surfing before getting this place so there was almost nothing to fill up the space, no pictures, no frames, no shelves, no knick knacks, he didn’t even have end tables or appliances that hadn’t been included in his lease. It was a nice apartment, and Buck had been excited to fill it up with stuff and decorations, but without those things it just felt hollow and temporary, with nothing to really call it a home just yet.

Moving into the living room Eddie saw the first signs of life in the place as the couch was loaded up with pillows and blankets, there was a stack of books on the floor and a collapsing pile of Buck’s clothes folded in the corner. Eddie looked up at the railing-enclosed bedroom and frowned – Buck really couldn’t get up there then if he was sleeping on the couch and keeping his clothes down here. Damn, that was half of his living space gone.

He went back into the kitchen and looked over the counter top suspiciously. It was absolutely pristine, with no dishes in the sink or the drying rack. He opened the dishwasher and found it empty. It was after noon, had Buck even eaten today? And where was Ali? She had likely brought down Buck’s stuff from his bedroom for him but there were no other signs of a second person being here. Either way, it was clear Buck wasn’t taking care of himself and it didn’t look like anyone else was either.

Sighing, Eddie opened up the fridge, hoping there was something easy to make in there as he wasn’t exactly known for his cooking skills. A big Tupperware container caught his eye. He cracked it open and found a good helping of stew inside that Maddie likely dropped off. Thank god for her. Perfect. He put a pot on the oven and started reheating it. As the first few heat bubbles appeared he heard the shower turn off, so he set the heat to simmer and stood by the bathroom door.

Shuffling sounds floated out for nearly a minute but Buck still hadn’t called out to him.

“Buck, you good?” Eddie asked, peaking his head in.

“Yeah, sorry.” Buck pulled the shower curtain open to reveal himself wrapped in a towel looking almost completely dry. He must have patted himself down after the water shut off. “I didn’t want you to get soaked helping me out.”

Eddie smirked. “That’s sweet. I shoot water hoses at things for a living, but it’s still sweet.”

“Well you’re off work, you deserve to stay dry.”

“Thanks.”

Eddie grabbed Buck’s crutches and leaned them against the wall then put his hands arounds Buck’s waist. “On three.”

He lifted Buck out, pulled off the garbage bag so he wouldn’t drip water everywhere then went back to the living room to get him some fresh clothes.

“How are you feeling now?” Eddie asked as he came back in.

“About the same, but cleaner. Thanks,” Buck said.

Eddie nodded and held out Buck’s clothes, then hesitated when he realized Buck couldn’t grab them and stay upright in his crutches.

“Oh, I’m also here to help with this?” Eddie asked, holding out a clean pair of underwear for clarification.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind,” Buck said and may have blushed but it was hard to tell after coming out of a hot shower.

“No problem,” Eddie said, kneeling down. He could see how Buck got undressed alone but getting a pair of briefs on when you can’t bend your mile-long leg was probably close to impossible. He worked quickly and looped the fabric through Buck’s casted leg then held the other end near his planted foot.

“Up,” he said and pulled the fabric around his good leg after Buck lifted himself up on his crutches. He repeated the process with a loose pair of shorts and then pulled everything up. Buck reached down when the fabric was at his thighs.

“I got it, thanks,” Buck said and pulled his clothes up the rest of the way, not removing the towel until he was fully covered up.

“You’re a tease Buckley,” Eddie said, tapping his shoulder. “You said I’d get to see your ass.”

Buck laughed. “Guess we just work too well together, sorry.”

“Next time,” Eddie said.

Buck smiled then sniffed the air. “Did you cook something?”

“Yeah I stole your stew, it looked good. Hope that’s cool,” Eddie said.

“Of course.”

They went back out to the kitchen where Eddie made a beeline for the stove while Buck sat down.

“This is more than I thought,” Eddie said as he stirred, trying to sound casual. “You want half?”

Buck smiled, clearly not fooled by the ruse designed to get him to eat, but sat down at the table and nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

Eddie spooned out two bowls, putting significantly more into Buck’s, then joined him at the table. He waited until he saw Buck eat a spoonful before breaking into a new conversation.

“Is Ali working?” he asked.

Buck looked up, surprised by the question. “Huh?”

“I don’t mind coming over to help out, but I thought she’d be all over doing the girlfriend-adjacent parts of your recovery like dressing and undressing you. She working?”

Buck bit his lip and shook his head before replying.

“No she’s not. Well, maybe she is, I don’t know. We … we broke up,” Buck said, staring deep into his stew. “So she’s not here, either way.”

Eddie dropped his spoon into his bowl. “Shit. What happened?”

“She couldn’t handle it,” Buck said. He shrugged like it was no big deal but Eddie didn’t miss the way his eyes had already started to water.

“Your recovery?”

“No. The life,” Buck said. “Me being a firefighter, not knowing if I would come home at night. She saw how hurt I could get and … she said she couldn’t do it.”

“Shit Buck, I’m sorry,” Eddie said. “Some people aren’t cut out for what we do.”

“Yeah.” Buck shifted his stew around and forced on a sad smile. “At least she told me she was breaking up with me. That’s a step up compared to the way my last relationship ended. And she was honest. I actually kind of appreciate that.”

“That’s something, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t still suck.”

“Oh no it sucks,” Buck agreed wholeheartedly, finally taking another bite of stew. “Yeah it’s reaching whole new levels of suck every day.”

“I get that,” Eddie said, and they lapsed into silence for a moment, both staring morosely into their own bowls.

Eventually Buck cleared his throat, determined not to just talk about himself.

“How’s Chris doing?”

“Good, I think. As good as can be expected, I guess,” Eddie said. It was his turn to shrug as though nothing was wrong even though his wife had just died two weeks ago. “My parents left yesterday and he seemed a little relieved to be honest.”

“Just him?” Buck asked, lips curling up. Eddie didn’t talk about his parents all that much but Buck had gleaned from Pepa and Abuela that they were over bearing and over-critical to the point that they had driven Eddie out of Texas to get away from them. Maybe Buck should thank them. If they were better parents Buck would have never met Eddie and he didn’t want to think about a world where he didn’t have his best friend, especially now.

Eddie huffed out a laugh. “No, not just him. They mean well, but, there’s a saying about good intentions that definitely applies to them.”

“The one about the road to hell? Dangerous thing for a Catholic boy to say, especially about his parents.”

“Well then I’m glad I didn’t actually say it, you did. Besides, the roads they’re trying to pave lead somewhere else entirely. They wouldn’t stop talking about me moving back to El Paso.”

Buck inhaled sharply and almost choked on his stew, a pit instantly forming in his stomach that wasn’t caused by his food. Eddie started to rise to pat him on the back but Buck just met his eye, coughing and shaky.

“You’re going back to Texas?”

“Hell no,” Eddie said and noticed how quickly Buck’s shoulders relaxed, allowing him to breathe again. “I love it here, Chris loves it here, but they want me to move back. They just don’t get it, they don’t think I have enough support here, enough family.”

“Well they’re wrong,” Buck said. He shook his head and sat up straighter, like he was getting ready to fight someone. “You’ve got family here, lots of it.”

“I know,” Eddie said softly, smiling at Buck in thanks. “I don’t think they understand that the people you work with can be a real support system, but they also stopped pushing as hard after my shield ceremony, so maybe they got it eventually after they saw all the team together. You were probably a big part of that.”

“Me? How? I barely even talked to your parents,” Buck said.

“You hauled your ass to my party literally a day after you had major surgery, sporting the biggest cast of all time. That means something to people. At least, it meant a lot to me.”

It was Buck’s turn to smile into his bowl. “Well I wasn’t going to miss it. Or any chance to party with my favorite Diaz.”

“Chris?”

“Of course.”

Eddie smiled. “Yeah, he’s my favorite too.”

Buck laughed and finished off his stew, feeling better for the company and the food. As Eddie cleared both their empty bowls away, Buck grabbed his crutches and made his way into the living room.

“Hey you want to watch a movie or something?” Buck asked over his shoulder as he shuffled away. “You can pick. I’ve been burning through my watchlist pretty fast so I’m open to anything. It can be Spanish if you don’t mind having subtitles on.”

Eddie followed him into the living room, looking apologetic as Buck collapsed on the couch and searched for the remote.

“I can’t stay that long,” Eddie said, stopping Buck in his tracks. “I gotta pick up Chris at school in like an hour.”

“Oh.” Buck turned and looked out the window so Eddie wouldn’t see his face drop. “Yeah, of course. I uh … I can throw on an episode of the Office? We can get through that before you go.”

Eddie watched as Buck started flicking through the apps on his TV frantically, clearly desperate for Eddie to stay even as he refused to make eye contact and let Eddie see how much he was dreading being alone. If he had turned his head he might have seen just how determined Eddie was not to let that happen.

Buck had just hit play on the episode when Eddie sat on the coffee table in front of him, took the remote and turned the TV off.

“Buck, come on,” Eddie said, splaying out his arms.

Buck’s brows furrowed in confusion. “What? You love the Office.”

“I like it fine. That’s not what I’m talking about. I meant, come on and get off the couch, you’re coming to my place,” Eddie said, standing up and motioning for Buck to do the same, but he stayed where he was, still clearly confused.

“What? Why?”

“Because you can’t stay here alone like this, you’re recovering from major surgery and you can’t walk or use half your apartment. You need someone around to help you with stuff.”

“No, I’m fine here, I told you all that when I got out of the hospital.”

“And we all let it go because we thought Ali would be here with you most of the time. Obviously that’s not the case so you’re not staying here by yourself,” Eddie said, hands on his hips like he was still waiting for Buck to get up.

But Buck just shook his head, though he wasn’t entirely sure why. “No. I can take care of myself Eddie, it’s fine. I’ll call you guys if I need anything. I’ll be fine.”

The shakiness of his voice said that he was anything but fine though, making Eddie sigh in exasperation.

“Buck, you hadn’t even eaten yet today before I got here. Just come stay with us,” he said again.

“No, I’m not gonna put you out like that,” Buck said, more emphatic now.

“Honestly, it’s gonna be more inconvenient for me to come over here every three days to help you shower than it would be to have you around the house.”

Buck looked mortified. “You think I only shower every three days?”

Eddie huffed in disbelief before he continued.

“All I’m saying is, my house is literally designed to be easy to get around in crutches and I already have bars and a seat installed in my shower for Chris, you’d be a hell of a lot more comfortable. You can’t even get up to your bedroom here man.”

Buck looked at him like he was crazy. “Where would I sleep?”

“Where are you sleeping here?” Eddie asked, not missing Buck’s guilty glance at the pillows and sheets piled on his couch that answered his question. “I guarantee you my couch is just as comfortable.”

Buck seemed to really consider it for the first time, jaw twitching as he weighed Eddie’s offer but then he shook his head sadly.

“You just feel bad for me, laid up and staying here alone.”

Eddie shrugged. “Is that a bad thing? Caring about you?”

Buck faltered.

“No. No I guess not,” Buck said, then he shifted uncomfortably and finally nodded. “I suppose, I could try it, for a few days. Only if you’re sure.”

“I’m wildly sure,” Eddie said, sighing in relief.

“What about Chris?” Buck asked.

“What about him? He likes you more than I do, he’ll be thrilled that you’re there.”

“I guess that’s a compliment?”

“You know it is,” Eddie said, then clapped his hands together once like they needed to get something started. “All right, I’ll grab a duffle bag, you think about what you need.”

“Okay,” Buck mumbled as Eddie disappeared up the stairs to his bedroom, too choked up by Eddie’s insistence on taking care of him to sound more enthused.

Fifteen minutes later they had a bag packed with all Buck’s essentials as well as a grocery bag full of all the perishables from his fridge and counter. Eddie hefted the bag onto his shoulder and smiled.

“Now I don’t even have to go to the grocery store,” Eddie said. “Having you around is paying off already. You got everything you need?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Buck said but made no move to follow Eddie towards the door.

“What’s wrong?” Eddie asked.

“I just, feel kind of dumb? I signed the lease on this place a few weeks ago and I’m just gonna move out?”

“You’re not moving out. I carried that ridiculous bed up those stairs for you once and I’m not doing it again. You’re just staying at my place while you heal. The apartment will still be waiting for you when you’re healthy.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Buck sighed.

Eddie nodded then bit his lip. “Not to rush your emotional moment but I really do gotta pick up my kid.”

“Right, yeah, let’s go,” Buck said. Motivated by the thought of seeing Christopher, Buck finally started moving towards the door, keys clenched awkwardly in his hand around his crutch handle. Eddie took both bags and led the way into the hallway, letting Buck come through last. After he locked the door Buck rapped his knuckles against the frame lightly in a gesture of good-bye.

“You’ll be back,” Eddie told him again as he patted him on the shoulder. “Come on, you’ll love it at our place. We’ve got ice cream. I think, don’t hold me to that.”

Buck smiled, pocketed his keys and followed behind him and let his feeling of failure slip away, edged out by the tiniest hint of excitement because yeah, he was pretty sure he might just love it at Eddie’s house, ice cream or not.