Beachfox
Fandoms
- Batman - All Media Types (8)
- Batman (Comics) (5)
- DCU (3)
- DCU (Comics) (3)
- Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010) (1)
Recent works
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You Can't Fucking Trust a Crime Alley Kid by Beachfox
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Batman (1966), DCU (Comics)
15 Jul 2025
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Summary
Arturo was 17 when he was thrown into Gotham beaten, broken, and entirely ignorant about the city he found himself in. In the near twenty years since, he's learned. Through mob jobs and henching gigs and street-gang wars, he's come to understand Gotham inside and out. And if he's learned anything, it's that you can't trust a Lupu, you can't trust an Alvarez, and you sure as hell can't trust that fucking Crime Alley Kid.
Now if only he could make his Boss understand that as well before it's too late.
Series
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The Mostly NonCanonical Adventures of a Crime Alley Kid by Beachfox
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types
01 Jan 2025
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Summary
A collection of stories that - although perfectly in character and probable - don't fit into the canonical timeline and instead exist in that strange nebulous space that many anime movies and side comics do of only really being "real" if some future writer decides to base something in mainline continuity that builds on it.
Mostly featuring Conrad getting thrown into some of the standard Batfam Fic plotlines. Poor guy.
Series
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The Crime Alley Kid Meets Jason Todd by Beachfox
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), DCU, Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010)
16 Jul 2024
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Summary
Perfectly normal Crime Alley street-thug Conrad has been having a hell of a month.
In quick order he learned/unintentionally worked out that:
*The rando he'd been chilling/flirting with online was actually his boss' boss, The Red Hood
*Red Hood was actually the Second Robin
*Hood's estranged father figure, The Batman, was actually infamous crime boss and former dinner guest at his parents, Matches MaloneNow, Hood's going to fully demask for Conrad because everyone but Batman has agreed it's only a matter of time at this rate.
And sure, this is going to throw their whole casual Hench-With-Benefits relationship into uncharted waters. And sure, it's going to tie Conrad into Gotham's cape scene in ways he's spent the past decade trying to avoid. And sure, seeing your Boss unmasked goes against every Henching rule that'd been beaten into his head growing up, but it's Robin asking. How can you say no to Robin?
At least it's clear that Red Hood is most likely one of Matches Malone's infamous legion of nephews and stepkids, so there'll be no further shocking revelations there, right?
*looks up at title and looks back*
Right.
Series
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Side Stories from Crime Alley by Beachfox
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics)
10 Jun 2024
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Summary
Despite how normal and average the adventures of the Crime Alley Kid are, there are still even more stories out there of events just as unremarkable and cause for as little concern.
Here are some of these stories, along with the occasional Reddit screed and misplaced research paper for your reading enjoyment.
Series
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The Crime Alley Kid Meets Matches Malone by Beachfox
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
28 Feb 2024
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Summary
Conrad's spent his entire life since age 13 living by two simple rules: Never Hench for anyone, and never do something that would make Batman want to punch him in the face. Now he's broken both of them by falling into a torrid Hench-With-Benefits relationship with Crime Alley's own Red Hood.
Now he's got an angry Batdad stalking him at night, a bunch of Underbosses who find his sudden promotion to their ranks right after banging the boss suspicious as hell, and a pile of new responsibilities to balance out making time with a man he still hasn't seen unmasked.
But tonight is going to be a break from all that stress, a break from managing his gremlins, a break from dealing with every single other gang along their borders wanting to start shit. He just has to deal with one small staffing issue at the queer youth center first. One hour max, in and out.
It's not like the most mysterious and powerful figure in Gotham's expansive underworld is going to show up at their doorstep getting chased by a murderous gang or anything, right?
Series
Recent series
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The Completely Normal Adventures of a Crime Alley Kid by Beachfox
Fandom: Batman (1966), Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010), DCU, DCU (Comics)
15 Jul 2025
Summary
Conrad is just your average Crime Alley street-rat.
Ignore how most of his extended family actively Hench for various Rogues, he went no-contact years ago.
Ignore his unreal fighting ability and expansive range of random skills, it's the bare minimum of what anyone would need to make it to 20 while homeless in Crime Alley.
Ignore the Red Hood's attempts at flirting with him, he's pretty sure he's just misinterpreting his overboss' perfectly platonic actions.
Ignore the people who say he comes back from the dead, no one around here knows how to check for a pulse.
Ignore the Bats, he's certainly trying to. Whatever they're after, it's certainly not him.
He's just a completely normal Crime Alley kid, after all.
- Words:
- 190,620
- Works:
- 7
- Bookmarks:
- 370
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
“This is where I take nutritional breaks and sleep. I have training scheduled in 24 minutes,” he explains, a little uncertain.
“Oh,” she adds, an automatic vocal filler that often gets interviewees to continue.
“Of course, if you need anything done now, I’ll do it,” he adds, with just a slight undercurrent of a rush.
His face may be smooth, his tone blandly professional, but this boy is terrified.
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Lois Lane rescues a teenager who looks a lot like someone she knows...
Featuring Kon angst and hurt/comfort!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,435
- Chapters:
- 13/15
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,232
- Kudos:
- 1,754
- Bookmarks:
- 536
- Hits:
- 21,427
Bookmarked by Beachfox
29 Jul 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
[[Chapter 13]]
The earring was kryptonite. That's why Clark was getting freaked out by P13. Also, the world became too loud without it, so Kon's TK'ed himself a protective caccoon out of the CRT room. I'm sure it's fine.
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Columbo in Gotham [Logic Puzzle] by DontStopHerNow for c_art
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Columbo
28 Nov 2024
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Summary
When a bullet hole was found between Harvey Dent and Two-Face's eyes, Jim Gordon asked his old academy buddy Lieutenant Columbo to come to Gotham to do the investigation. Of course, a Columbo investigation never makes any sense to anyone else, but on this one, Columbo mixed up all his notes just before he was ready to collar the murderer!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 630
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 21
- Kudos:
- 27
- Bookmarks:
- 5
- Hits:
- 264
Bookmarked by Beachfox
26 Jul 2025
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Summary
What if I, a grown woman, wrote a fic about the terrible Batman OC I came up with as a depressed middle schooler?
Series
- Part 43 of Sorrowful and Immaculate Hearts
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 49,587
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Comments:
- 3,034
- Kudos:
- 5,459
- Bookmarks:
- 850
- Hits:
- 84,819
Bookmarked by Beachfox
25 Jul 2025
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Summary
Comic of Liminal Space by Calamityjim.
"Bruce's habit of collecting strays is not limited by dimension."
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WIP Amnesty by HistoricallyInnacurate
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Danny Phantom, Tumblr - Fandom, Batman - All Media Types
12 Jul 2025
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Summary
These are WIPs I'm putting here so I don't lose them. Specific tags are at the top of each chapter. Pending response, I may continue them.
Summaries are also available at the top of each chapter.
The programs I use for writing in mobile are updating, and I don't want to lose a ton of work again, so- here you go!
Series
- Part 5 of WIP
Bookmarked by Beachfox
08 Aug 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
[[Chapter 11]]
A bunch of glorious one-off Danny Phantom fics/fic ideas. Something for everyone assuming everyone loves one-off Danny Phantom fic ideas.