Chapter Text
Bilbo was grateful to whoever had helped him into his chair after his little tumble. As embarrassing as it was to faint in his own home, Bilbo figured they couldn’t put all the blame on him. What with that one dwarf springing on him the dragon bit and the fire and evisceration. Any hobbit worth their pantry would have fainted.
Assuming the others had spread out through his smial to find some sleep before the sun rose, Bilbo sat quietly before the fire. He couldn’t help but be thankful that the crackling of the flames was his only company. The contract sat on a small table at his side, but he was very determinedly not looking at it. He wasn’t going so he didn’t need to read through it again.
Despite his best efforts, Bilbo found himself thinking about the dragon. He shuddered at the thought of facing something that could breathe fire. His talks with his mother kept bringing it to the forefront of his mind. She taught him to be prepared for everything and anything. He could practically hear her voice now. What would you do if you met a dragon?
The question bounced around in his mind for some time before Bilbo heaved a sigh and got up. It was no use sitting and thinking about things that didn’t affect him when he should have been sleeping. He put his blanket on his chair and took a step away before reaching back to grab the contract. He might as well put it with the dwarves’ things so they wouldn’t forget it. They’d have to find someone else to be their burglar.
As he was making his way down the hall, Bilbo noticed that his front door was cracked open enough to let in a bit of moonlight. Pushing it further with his foot, Bilbo stuck his head outside. Gandalf was smoking out on his front bench. Bilbo glanced back into his smial before heading out to join the wizard.
“Are you feeling better now?” Gandalf asked quietly between one puff on his pipe and the next. “You gave them quite the scare.”
Huffing, Bilbo sat down beside Gandalf on his little bench. He accepted the pipe when he was offered it. It was quite amusing to see the tall wizard folded down to fit such a small seat, but Bilbo made sure that his companion was unaware of his mirth. “That was quite a shock they gave me, but I’ll be fine. I’m still young.”
Looking down at the hobbit, Gandalf took his pipe back. “Not as young as you used to be.”
“I’m not that silly little hobbit anymore, Gandalf. I grew up. I’m not fit for adventures like the one you’re proposing. And before you say anything!” Bilbo shot a look up at the wizard to make sure that Gandalf actually stayed quiet. “An adventure like this needs to be planned out. Months of planning even. And you gave me no time at all.”
Gandalf hummed in that way of his that he knew made the hobbit beside him annoyed. “I think the contract does a pretty good job of explaining what you might come across.”
Bilbo shook the long piece of parchment with a huff of a laugh. “It covers quite a bit of the dangerous things out there, I suppose. One night is not enough time to prepare even if I have a list to start with.”
Gandalf looked down at him in a way that made his hat hide his eyes. “I recall your mother making sure you had plans for quite a few things on that list. You act as though you have no plans made at all. I’m sure your brilliant mind started some the moment you first touched that contract.”
Puffing up his chest just a little, Bilbo couldn’t help but smile. “I started some the moment you showed up at my gate. If there was one thing my mother made sure I’d remember it was that wizards can always be trusted to do as they please.”
There was no argument that Gandalf had for that so he stayed silent.
Bilbo looked up at the stars for a moment before letting out a sigh. “I’m sure that Thorin and his company will be just fine without me. Surely, if they can write such a contract, they have plans for what to do if they encounter any of the things listed in it.”
The sound that escaped him was definitely not a snort. Gandalf would be adamant about that until the world was remade. Wizards don’t snort. “I’m sure they’ll do what dwarves do when they encounter problems.”
After a moment of silence, Bilbo nudged the annoying wizard beside him. “And what’s that?”
“Oh, they’ll fight to the death and rely on brute force to get through,” Gandalf mused as if it was common knowledge that that was how dwarves handled all of their problems.
Bilbo was stunned into silence for a moment before he dropped his head into his hands with a low groan. “They’re going to fail. They’re never going to make it to that blasted mountain. And even if they did, there is no way that they’d be able to fight a dragon. Please tell me they’re smarter than that.”
Gandalf chuckled as he took another drag from his pipe. “Dwarves are good at a great number of things. They are not known, however, for their ability to strategize and fight battles of any size. Usually, there are enough of them that they can overcome anything with sheer numbers. What Thorin and his company have planned has not been attempted by dwarves before. They are doing everything without a way to prepare for it properly.”
Wearily, Bilbo pushed himself to his feet. “I guess that settles it then.”
“Where are you going?” Gandalf asked in a tone that was far too innocent to be anything but knowing. “Off to bed?”
Sending a dirty look over his shoulder, Bilbo scoffed. “Of course not. There’s too much to do.”
Gandalf didn’t bother to hide his smirk as Bilbo marched back to his open door. “Indeed.”
Bilbo ignored the meddling wizard and headed straight for his study. With a bit of flourish despite no one being around to see, he signed the contract and then promptly started reading it more carefully. It did have quite the list of things that they might see or encounter on the road. Most would be easy to take care of. There were a few others that he was going to have to get more creative with.
Once that was done, Bilbo got out his walking pack and sorted through what he kept in it. The extra clothes and his bedroll would stay. The comforts that he didn’t need wouldn’t. His extra quills and parchment would have to stay behind. There just wasn’t room for things that he wasn’t going to get to use while on the road. This wasn’t one of his regular walking holidays.
His next stop was his pantry. The dwarves had done a good job of cleaning out most of the food he had there. They didn’t, however, seem keen to eat greens. So his shelf of dried plants was rather intact, which was good since some of them could have killed the dwarves if they’d eaten them.
Taking a bit of everything, Bilbo made note of what he should look for while on the road. He did pack his book on herbs so that he could consult with it to make sure that he had the right plants. The rest of the food would have to be eaten for breakfast and packed for the journey.
Once that was done, Bilbo went back to his study to write a couple of letters to his relatives and neighbors. It wouldn’t do to leave and have his smial fall into ruin since he wasn’t sure when he’d be returning. After that, he made sure to pack some of his bandages and ointments. He didn’t know if they’d work on dwarves but he knew they’d work on him and that was important since he was sure that the dwarves probably had stuff for themselves.
After all of that, Bilbo stood in his front hall looking around and thinking through things. He felt like he was forgetting something, but it wasn’t coming to mind. He needed to leave if he was going to be able to deliver his letters and make it back in time to leave with the rest of the company.
With a small shrug, Bilbo slipped out his door and made his way down the path to the road. He barely spared a glance at Gandalf as he went over his route in his head. There was so much to do in such a little time.
XXX
Thorin glowered as he watched the other dwarves eat the small amount of food left in the pantry and pack up their gear to leave. The hobbit was nowhere to be seen, surely still sleeping in his comfortable little bed. He’d made himself quite clear the night before. He would not be joining them. “Ten minutes and we leave. We’re wasting daylight as it is.”
“I think it’s too bad that the little fellow doesn’t want to join us,” Bofur said as he rolled a shirt and tucked it back into his pack. “He was quite funny when he fell down just at the thought of a little dragon fire.”
“Well, you did describe it quite brutally, Bofur,” Fili pointed out as he frowned.
“Thanks, Fili,” Bofur replied with a grin.
“That’s not what I-“
“Fili! Have you seen my boots?” Kili asked in a rush as he shoved things into his pack and then raced around. Somehow most of his traveling things had spread out in the hobbit’s house despite them only being there for a night. “I can’t find them.”
“They’re on your feet, Kili.”
“Oh!”
Balin, with years of experience of ignoring the young princes, moved through the group to Thorin’s side. “What is your plan?”
“We’re getting on the road and heading east,” Thorin grunted as he forced himself not to glare down the hallway at the closed door he could just see.
“That’s not really a plan. How far do you want to travel today?” Balin pressed.
Thorin shrugged before he caught the apple that Dwalin threw at him to eat. “That depends on if we ever get on the road.”
With a sigh, Balin left Thorin to glare everyone else into moving faster. He had some bread and cheese before gathering his pack and heading out the door. He paused for just a moment at the door. It was bad manners to leave before thanking their host. But then again it was bad manners for a host to hide out in their room until their guests left. So he didn’t feel too bad when he walked out.
In the end, it was Dwalin who got everyone outside and heading down the lane to get to their horses. Thorin was always the strong silent type, but Dwalin knew that to get people moving yelling was the best choice. Yell he did. He had the princes running down the lane to the stables with some of the other dwarves laughing until he got them moving faster as well. “I don’t know what you’re all doing, taking your time and shooting the breeze. Get your asses moving before I move them for you!”
Thorin shared a brief grin with his friend before making his way down the road. He was quite happy to be putting the Shire behind them since it meant that they were on their way to the mountain.
XXX
Bilbo stood in shock just inside his door. His smial was an utter mess. And there were no dwarves to be seen. They’d left without him. The contract that he had signed was sitting on his table and covered in food bits.
Grumbling under his breath about the idiocy of dwarves, Bilbo moved further into his smial. He packed some gold and left even more on the table with a note thanking Hamfast for stopping by and cleaning everything. After that, he grabbed his contract before making his way back out his door. He had everything he needed packed and there was clearly no more food left in his smial to worry about.
Huffing out a breath, Bilbo turned and looked out over the Shire from his spot on the hillside. He took just a second to cement the sight before him in his mind. He didn’t want to forget what his home looked like. There was no telling when he would be back.
Then he took off down the path at a run. There were several ways the dwarves could have gone, but Bilbo remembered hearing something about ponies. If they were riding then they’d have to be on the main road. Taking every shortcut he knew, Bilbo set his jaw and pushed himself. He had to make it to the road before the dwarves went by or else he’d be hard-pressed to catch up.
Bilbo had to dodge several of his neighbors and the hobbits making their way down various paths heading to one place or another. He twisted around on his heel to dodge one that clearly hadn’t been paying attention to who else was on the path.
“Oi! Bilbo? Where are you off to in such a hurry?”
Gasping, Bilbo just threw a sharp grin over his shoulder. He barely had enough air to breathe and keep going. There was no way he was going to be able to answer.
Rushing down the hillside, Bilbo had never been so happy to hear the sound of ponies and dwarves. He made his way through the small amount of trees between him and the road. His legs were burning and his lungs were on fire, but the thought of missing them kept him moving.
With a small burst of speed, he broke through the trees and waved the contract he’d been holding the whole way. Sucking in a bit of air, he managed to yell out, “I signed it! I signed it. I’m going with you.”
Gandalf made sure that everyone stopped and turned as Bilbo took a second to gasp in another lungful of air.
Thorin frowned at the halfling before him. “You changed your mind?”
Balin ignored his king to urge his pony around so that he could get the contract from Bilbo and check it. “He’s signed it. Everything seems to be in order.”
Gasping, Bilbo forced himself to stand up straight. “I signed it last night while you were all sleeping. I left it on the table so that you’d see.”
“If you signed it last night then where were you this morning?” Dwalin grunted as he crossed his arms over his chest without letting go of the reins.
“Dwalin-“ Balin tried only to get cut off.
“No, I want to know why he thought he could have a lie in when the rest of us were up and getting ready.”
Feeling that he could finally breathe again, Bilbo sent a scathing look to the large dwarf. He’d been a bit frightened by Dwalin the night before. Seeing a man with his hand caught in a cookie jar could change one’s perspective. “I wasn’t sleeping. If any of you had bothered to knock on my door you would have realized that I wasn’t there. I had to leave before the sun was up to take care of some matters. I might be going with you to help you get your home back but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to lose mine in the process. People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.”
Gandalf was rather pleased to see the way the dwarves shifted a bit uncomfortably on their ponies. “If everything is in order then we should continue on our way.”
“Get him a pony.”
Bilbo was about to protest being dismissed as he was. He didn’t manage to get the words out before he was lifted from behind and deposited on the back of a pony. With no other choice, Bilbo just hung on to the reins given to him and glared at the back of the king’s head.
It wasn’t until he sneezed that he realized that he forgot his handkerchief. With a sigh, he let his pony fall into line with the others and started going over the list of things from the contract. He didn’t want to be unprepared for anything.
XXX
After several days of riding through rain or shine, Bilbo pushed his pony up so that he was riding next to Thorin. He didn’t let the glower of the king frighten him. He’d seen far worse looks from relatives. The king of the dwarves really needed to work on his scowl if he wanted to be on par with hobbits. “We’re making our way to Bree, right?”
Thorin grunted.
When it was clear that that was all the response that he was going to get, Bilbo let out a small sigh. Luckily, the rain covered up the sound so Thorin was not aware that he’d made it. Kings could be touchy it seemed. “What are we doing after that? Do you have a route picked out for us? How far are you thinking we’ll travel each day?”
Shifting a bit in his saddle, Thorin turned so he could look at the hobbit without leading his horse off course. “What is it to you? You’re not the leader of this company.”
Bilbo matched Thorin’s frown with one of his own. “No, I’m not. I don’t want to be either. I just want to know that our fearless leader has a plan in mind. So far each day has been different and I don’t understand why.”
“I do have a plan and being the ‘fearless leader’ means I don’t have to share it with you. And each day has been different because they cannot be the same.”
With narrowed eyes, Bilbo watched Thorin push his pony so that they were no longer riding next to each other. He wasn’t all that surprised when Gandalf took Thorin’s spot next to him. Without turning to look at the wizard, he spoke, “He has no plan. We’re going to get lost before we ever get to Bree.”
Gandalf didn’t bother to hide his laughter as he and Bilbo watched Thorin ride next to Balin and clearly converse with the other dwarf.
Bilbo would have said something else but then one of the dwarves had to ask if Gandalf could make it stop raining. He was far too busy laughing at the look on Gandalf’s face for the rest of the day.
XXX
Bilbo was only mildly surprised when they didn’t get lost on the way to Bree. To be fair, the road was pretty straightforward. That and Bilbo was sure that after he asked Thorin his questions, Thorin went to ask Balin the answers.
Whatever the case may be, it was clear that the king was in no mood to chat with the burglar. Bilbo respected that and tried to get to know the other dwarves in the company. So far only Bombur and Bofur would talk to him. And that was mostly just during the times when they were cooking because Bilbo was slipping herbs to Bombur.
The inn was a welcome break from the road. It was a bit surprising when he heard that they’d all be sharing one big room rather than a few smaller ones. Bilbo didn’t hesitate to turn to Gandalf when he heard that. “What’s the point of being in each other’s pockets while we’re here?”
“There are those who, if they find out about our journey, will stop at nothing to thwart it,” Gandalf told him as he leaned on his staff and looked down at Bilbo in such a way that made it so only the hobbit could see his face. “Thorin thinks that the best thing would be for everyone to stay together so that if an attack comes, it is against all of us. Strength in numbers, remember?”
Sighing, Bilbo resigned himself to being in close quarters with the dwarves until they got their blasted mountain back. At least that was something that was easy to prepare for.
Dinner at the inn was a welcome break from the stew that Bombur made over the fire every night. Bilbo even took a few moments to buy some food that he knew would last a bit longer on the road and refilled his pack. Dwarves didn’t eat as much as hobbits. He wasn’t about to starve for them.
Unlike at his smial, the dwarves were rather subdued throughout the meal. Bilbo figured that was because they didn’t want to draw attention to themselves. The men in Bree were a hard folk. They were suspicious of everyone and everything. The dwarves garnered their attention even if they weren’t doing anything more than just eating.
A group of them started getting rowdy near the fireplace. Bilbo kept his eye on them while he ate with the others. When it looked like the men were gathering up the courage to confront the dwarves, Thorin had them turn in.
Bilbo looked back at the men one last time before heading up the stairs with the others. It was nice that while Thorin wasn’t exactly strategic in his planning, he wasn’t a fool. Bilbo could work with that.
XXX
Sore did not begin to explain the pain that Bilbo was feeling in his backside. He was not getting used to riding even after a couple of weeks. He really just needed his body to start firming up. That wouldn’t happen, however, unless he was able to take a day or two off from riding. There was no way that Thorin would allow that. Luckily, he had a salve that helped with making the sores that he had heal faster and bleed less. Saddle sores were easy to prepare for. Burnt out farmhouses, not so much.
“We shouldn’t stay here.”
Thorin crossed his arms as he looked up at the wizard. “This is as good as any place for camp.”
“A farmer and his family used to live here,” Gandalf said as he kept his gaze on the blackened house. “Something has happened.”
Bilbo watched in amusement as Gandalf very clearly held himself back from gesturing at the burnt house next to them. Wizards, it seemed, were above gestures.
Thorin didn’t even hesitate to hold back his smirk. “Yes, Gandalf. A fire happened.”
Grumbling, Gandalf made his way away from the house muttering about idiots and spending time with the smartest people only.
Bilbo let him go. He was sure that the wizard just needed time to cool off. In the meantime, he made sure to take a look around. If Gandalf was worried that something had happened then Bilbo was going to make sure that any scenario was one that he was prepared for. Thorin might be able to brush it off with a smirk and a smart comment, but Bilbo wasn’t raised by a fool.
Turning, Thorin caught Bilbo studying the house. He frowned at the sight before sighing. “Stop wandering aimlessly, burglar, and help Bombur with preparing supper.”
Seeing as Thorin had dismissed Gandalf’s warnings so easily, Bilbo figured that explaining to the dwarf what he was doing wouldn’t go over so well. With a sigh that he was sure that no one but himself heard, Bilbo made his way to the cook’s side. One of the good things about helping Bombur was that he was sure to actually get to eat. The other was that he liked the quiet dwarf. Bombur seemed to enjoy sneaking plants into his cooking without the others knowing where the extra flavor came from.
It was while he was grabbing a little parsley for the stew that Bilbo hesitated. He had some Belladonna in his pack. It was enough to bring down just about anything that consumed it. Without thinking too hard about it, he stuffed the bundle of dried plants into his pocket and went back to helping Bombur.
Bofur grinned as he watched Bilbo slip some dried stuff to Bombur. Bombur simply added it to their pot before stirring a few times. He dished out the stew into the bowls that Bofur had ready for him. With a grin, Bofur held out two bowls to Bilbo. “Take these to the lads, will you? They’re looking after the ponies.”
Nodding to the others, Bilbo took the bowls and headed into the trees where he knew the ponies and the princes were supposed to be. He found the princes looking distraught at the woods. “What is it?”
“Some of the ponies are missing,” Kili whispered.
“And we can see a fire through there,” Fili was quick to point through the trees.
“You should go see what it is,” they said together.
Used to the princes talking on top of each other, Bilbo frowned at the two of them before pushing their bowls into their hands. “Go get Thorin and the others. Come through the trees quietly but stay back unless I tell you to come out.”
Fili hesitated as he looked down at his supper. “I don’t think it’s necessary to bother Uncle with something as simple as a wandered off pony.”
“Fili’s right. Just go see what it is first. I’m sure it’s nothing.”
Frowning, Bilbo looked from one guilty prince to the other before reaching up to snag one ear each in his fingers. He pulled them down to his level and was pleased to see that while they were uncomfortable and in obvious pain, they didn’t shout out. “You two listen to me,” Bilbo hissed at them as he tugged again on their ears. “You will go and get your uncle and the others and tell them that someone is camping awfully close by and have possibly stolen some of the ponies. I will go check it out but you have to be my backup. Do we understand each other?”
It wasn’t until he had a short nod from each boy that he released them. He watched them go for only a second before he turned back to the fire he could barely make out between the trees.
Bilbo moved through the forest without making a sound. All the way, he berated young dwarves that spend too much time showing off for each other instead of attending to their duties. He had just gotten to imagining yelling at them when he made it to the edge of a small clearing.
Peering through the branches, Bilbo frowned at the sight before him. Three trolls had several of their horses in a crude pen. They were also discussing how best to eat them. While he didn’t exactly enjoy riding, what with the sores and all, Bilbo would rather not lose his horse.
With a grace that only hobbits had, Bilbo slipped out of the trees. He stayed away from the fire as he moved around the trolls to the pen without them noticing his presence. The knot that they used to tie the gate shut made absolutely no sense. The only way that he’d be able to open it was if he cut through it.
Spying the knife on one of the troll’s belts. Bilbo sighed before moving to stand next to one but away from the other two trolls. Then he made sure they knew he was there. “I think what it needs is some seasoning. That’ll get you a good taste for the horse meat.”
Seeing the trolls shocked and falling over each other was amusing. Being picked up by one wasn’t so much.
“What is it, Bill?”
“I don’t know, Bert. Is it good to eat, Tom?”
One of the trolls moved closer to get a good look at Bilbo. As much as he didn’t like the giant creature getting closer to him, Bilbo made sure not to shrink back. “I’m a bur-a hobbit.”
“A burrahobbit. What’s that?”
Frowning at the troll holding him, Bilbo smacked at the troll’s hands. “We’re creatures just like you. Now, as I was saying. I think you just need some seasoning for your broth. Then it’ll taste great.”
Before the trolls could respond, a cry came out of the trees. The dwarves surged into the clearing with their weapons ready. They fought and cleaved at the trolls. Bilbo was dropped in a heap next to the fire. Moving back, he stood off to the side to see how far fighting got the dwarves.
Not very far, as it was. It didn’t take long before the trolls seized a member of the company, Ori, if Bilbo wasn’t mistaken, and threatened to rip him apart.
With a sigh, Bilbo watched as some of the dwarves were put into sacks while the others were strapped to a log and put over the fire on a crude spit. Once he was sure that the trolls had settled back down, Bilbo stepped back out of the woods.
Making sure to walk right up, Bilbo ignored the looks the dwarves were shooting him and stood before the trolls once more. “Have you thought about what I said about the seasonings?”
Two scares in one night was pretty impressive for a hobbit. The trolls almost fell over each other as he startled them once more.
“It came back, Bert!”
“Grab it, Tom!”
Sidestepping the giant hand that came for him, Bilbo tutted. “I told you before that I just want to help you cook your food. It looks like you caught some dwarves. They aren’t as tasty as horse, I think.”
There were a few surprised cries from the dwarves, but Bilbo ignored them in order to focus on the trolls looking down at him.
“Are you saying we shouldn’t eat the dwarves?”
Shaking his head, Bilbo held up his hands in a placating way. “I don’t care if you eat them. I just want you to have a good meal.”
“Why does a burrahobbit care?”
“I’m just a small creature. Catching big dwarves and horses is not easy.”
“It wants some of our food, Tom.”
“Right you are, Bill.”
“Why should we share? Can’t we just eat it, too?”
Bilbo moved closer to the pot still boiling over the fire. “I’m small and not much compared to the horses and dwarves. Why would you waste your time eating me? You’re the ones talking about how best to cook them. A nice horse stew sounds great. I have some herbs to put in. Want to try it?”
The trolls looked at each other before slowly nodding.
Bilbo sighed quietly in relief before taking the Belladonna out of his pocket. He crushed some and sprinkled it into the pot. Then he held up a few of the leaves to the trolls. “Do you want to try some? It’ll make whatever you’re eating tastier.”
Bert took some. He shoved the leaves into his mouth and almost spit them back out immediately. “This doesn’t taste very good.”
Bill and Tom did not look convinced. So Bilbo straightened his back and put his hands on his hips. “You have to chew on it for a moment. It’s different when it’s been cooking in a broth. Give it time for the taste to get past the leaves. Here, you two try it and see if you like it.”
Still hesitating, Bill and Tom took the last of the leaves from Bilbo and chewed on them.
Bert squinted his eyes at the small creature before them. “How come you didn’t eat any?”
Rolling his eyes, Bilbo showed his empty hands. “I gave it all to you. I don’t have any left for myself. Which is a pity since it really is delicious.”
Tom began coughing shortly after that. He couldn’t seem to stop.
“Give him some broth, Bert. Don’t let him choke,” Bilbo said as he watched the trolls carefully.
Following the burrahobbit’s advice, Bert gave Tom some broth. Then he took a sip for himself.
Bill, not wanting to be left out, grabbed the ladle from Bert and swallowed a large amount himself. “That does make it tasty. What if we added something else, too?”
Bilbo frowned at that. He tutted and smacked his palm against Bill’s large leg. “Too many cooks spoil the broth.”
Somewhere in the background, some of the dwarves were trying to muffle their laughter at the sight of a troll pouting at a hobbit.
Satisfied with the sluggish words and the way the trolls were swaying. Bilbo didn’t bother to disguise what he was doing as he moved to Thorin’s side and let the king out of his sack. “I’m glad that you like it. You should all have more broth,” he called back to the trolls without stopping what he was doing.
“Hey! What are you doing?”
Bilbo thought for a moment that Tom was talking to him since he was currently letting Balin out of his sack. It wasn’t him. Tom was fighting Bert for the ladle. Shaking his head at them, Bilbo moved on to help Thorin with Bombur while Balin let Kili and Fili out.
Going back to the fireside, Bilbo motioned for the other dwarves to get their brethren off the spit. The trolls did take some notice of that.
“What are you doing, burrahobbit?”
“Well, since you like my broth, I figured I should skin the dwarves and cook them in it. Wouldn’t you like that?” Bilbo asked as he watched the way the trolls were swaying.
Tom nodded so hard he fell backward with a thud and stayed that way.
Bill just blinked at him slowly.
It was Bert who shook his head a bit. “I wanted them roasted. Leave them.”
Bilbo shushed him. “Have another drink, Bert. I promise to make you a delicious meal.”
Thorin moved to stand at the halfling’s side as the two trolls still sitting upright slumped into each other. “We should go.”
“Take the others and the horses back to camp. I’ll make sure that they don’t wake back up,” Bilbo whispered back.
Hesitating just a moment, Thorin placed his hand on Bilbo’s shoulder before he and the rest of the dwarves left.
Bilbo stayed by the fire as the trolls slipped further toward sleep. He knew that if they overcame the poison then they’d be very angry. The dosage for stone trolls wasn’t well known, which was why he wasn’t at all surprised when Tom slowly sat back up.
“Hey! Where did all the food go?”
The question seemed to rouse Bert enough that he looked around. “Burrahobbit?”
“I told you, I’m cooking it. Have some of the broth. I’m sure it is even better now that it tastes like dwarf, too,” Bilbo said without making any effort to act like he was doing anything but watching them.
Tom took another mouthful and settled back down.
Bert didn’t drink any.
Bilbo could see the sky beginning to lighten in the distance. Something moved over the rocks at the far side of the clearing. Not wanting any more drama for one night, Bilbo backed away from the trolls. It was a good thing, too, since it was Gandalf on the rocks.
“The dawn will take you all!”
The cracking of the boulder made the trolls scramble to their feet. It was far too late for them. The poison in their system didn’t allow them to move fast enough to avoid the sun.
Bilbo watched with Gandalf at his side as Tom, Bert, and Bill turned to stone. “They weren’t very good dinner hosts.”
“Hmmm?”
Smiling up at Gandalf, Bilbo gave a small roll of his eyes. “Wanted to eat everyone.”
Smiling in return, Gandalf put his hand on Bilbo’s shoulder to steer him back toward the dwarves’ camp. “Ah, yes. I can see why that would make them poor hosts.”
Bilbo was still snickering when he and Gandalf made it back to camp. The dwarves all got to their feet when they walked in. “Don’t worry. They’ve been turned to stone.”
Dwalin looked from the wizard to the hobbit to the sun. He shook his head and sat back down by his pack. There were some things that he would never understand.
Fili and Kili tripped over each other to get to Bilbo. “You were amazing, Mr. Boggins!”
“What did you give them?”
Sighing, Bilbo ignored the princes while he moved over to his pack. He was rather tired from staying up all night. “What part of ‘don’t intervene unless I give you the signal’ did you not understand?”
The two fell silent. They traded wide-eyed looks.
Thorin cleared his throat as he moved forward. “You had been captured, burglar. We weren’t about to let them hurt you.”
“I had everything perfectly under control. They weren’t going to harm me.”
Gandalf recognized the way that Thorin straightened his spine. A fight was not something he wanted to see. “What I want to know is where their hoard is.”
The dwarves instantly perked up and began looking for it through the woods.
Bilbo just nodded to the wizard and laid back against his pack to take a nap. If they needed him for something then they’d call for him. He was sure.