Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

How had he gotten here? 

Tommy felt a cold wind whip through his hair, messing it up as stray strands blew into his face obscuring his vision. He didn’t have the energy to lift his hand and push them away so instead he squinted as if that would help him somehow. 

Through the mess of blond Tommy could see the stars, he was so close to them he felt as if he could reach out and touch them - take a star into his hand and throw it down to grant himself a free wish. A wish to reverse time. 

The teenager had never asked for any of this, he never wanted wars to break out and experience what it meant to die at such a young age. He’d been forced to grow up too fast and he knew more than any seventeen year-old ever should. 

‘I want to go home.’ 

That thought plagued him; whether it be whilst he was waking talking to Tubbo or whatever member of the server would give him the time of day or lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling wishing that none of this had happened but the worst part was that Tommy didn’t even know where home was anymore. 

“Tommyinnit from nowhere in particular.” 

He echoed Quackity’s right-hand man’s words, a bitterness to his tone that he didn’t even mean. He had nowhere to call his home anymore; he’d lost everything on this server. 

Maybe, naively, he had thought when Dream had gotten locked up in prison that all of his problems would be solved but that wasn’t the case. Healing doesn’t happen overnight and it can be a painful process. Tommy didn’t think he could do this especially not alone but he wouldn’t tell anyone how he was feeling because he was the biggest man on the server and big men don’t cry! Plus that would mean annoying someone to talk to him and would they even care? 

Who would even care? 

His own family had destroyed his home; Wilbur, Techno and even his dad, Philza, had all had a hand in destroying L’Manberg at least once, why would they care about the effect that had on him? 

And if he spoke about these things that meant sitting down and going through exile, he could never recount those events, it was too painful. Tommy felt as if exile was his own fault, he felt as if he’d been an idiot for believing Dream was his friend (and despised the part of him that still somewhat believed he was). He couldn’t. 

But he couldn’t do this anymore either, Tommy had no energy anymore. He spent most days lying in a bed in the remains of his dirt shack, because of course it had been destroyed again, and just kept his eyes locked on the ceiling. The events looping his mind no matter how many times he tells himself to push it to the back of his mind, to get up on his feet and go do something to take his mind off things but his body never complied with his wishes. 

Wilbur had come to visit him once or twice, tutting when he saw Tommy still in bed and had thrown a few snide remarks that the blond couldn’t care to remember. He just knows that Wilbur stopped visiting after a while. He was just so tired. 

Now he was here, the cold wind making him at least feel less like a ghost wandering around without a purpose. Dream should have left him dead. He thought when he squinted his eyes that he could almost see the prison although he knew that was only his eyes playing tricks on him as he stood in Logstedshire. He was going to follow through this time. 

Tommy took a deep breath and a silent apology, that the teenager didn’t even know who it was supposed to be for - maybe himself, left his lips and he took two steps forward. 

Right off the ledge, plummeting from the air to the ground. 

He would finally be free. 

Tubbo marched through the tundra, his eyes dulled by the sight he’d seen. He, now, had to find Techno’s home once more assuming that the piglin hybrid hadn’t moved since the butcher army incident. Ranboo had offered to come with him as a sign of peace however, the burnet didn’t want Ranboo to witness this again; he didn’t know the family would take the news but according to the enderman hybrid they hadn’t believed it the first time so why would they now? 

There was no point in thinking like that, Tubbo shook his head as if to dispel the thoughts. He needed to believe that they would care; for Tommy’s sake. 

He felt his execution scars burn with memories as he got closer to Technoblade’s abode but he’d already told Ranboo that he’d forgiven the warrior and although that wasn’t a lie that didn’t mean that he wasn’t anxious about being near him especially after the outcome of doomsday. 

That didn’t matter though, this wasn’t for him, it was for Tommy. Truthfully he didn’t even know if they would let him in but this had to be done. 

Determination coated his expression and he pushed anything else away, any other emotion was not relevant right now. 

Of course Techno had been against letting the ex-president into his home especially after the last time however, Wilbur and Phil had convinced the piglin warrior that it was okay because Tubbo had something to say and from the looks of him it was important. 

The silence was uncomfortable and the tension in the room could be cut with a knife as the family waited for Tubbo to say whatever he needed to say and leave although Phil was surprised that Tommy hadn’t tagged along but then Wilbur had said the pair seemed distant lately.

Eventually the burnet cleared his throat and Tubbo delivered the news with a somber expression, “Your son died today.” 

Once again silence as the words sunk in.  

“My son, Tommy?” Phil asked with a dismissive chuckle as he shook his head at Tubbo, “You must be mistaken, no, no, he lives in L’Manberg.” 

or what remains of it. Tubbo heard the unspoken end of the sentence from the elder and his eyes narrowed in a fierce manner, Phil’s attitude was setting him off but the burnet bit back any remark or comment. 

“He’s very happy there.” 

Techno bitterly added over Phil’s shoulder, “Or so we’ve heard.” He supposed the piglin hybrid was still bitter from the events of the green festival when Tommy had chosen L’Manberg.

“He’s always been so independent,” Wilbur laughed lightly and shook his head and if the burnet hadn’t known the man well he would have mistaken it for fondness, “We haven’t heard from him in quite some time.” 

The burnet glowered, they weren’t listening to him. He was honestly tempted to scream but Tubbo was known for being calm in intense situations despite his chaotic nature and right now especially he had to keep his cool. He took a single deep breath although he wished he had agreed to Ranboo coming with him now.

“Do you want to know how he died?” There was a threatening edge to Tubbo’s voice as he glowered at the family, at Tommy’s family who didn’t even seem bothered by the news he’d delivered; Ranboo was right they wouldn’t want to believe it. 

“-He jumped off a cobblestone pillar he made in the place where he was exiled.” Tubbo didn’t even bother waiting for their answer and he watched their expressions twist, a glint of something deeper behind Techno’s eyes and a flash of regret on Wilbur’s and Phil… he looked broken. 

“Off a cliff,” Techno chuckled but it sounded raw, full of emotion that the piglin hybrid would not normally let out, “Just like Theseus.” 

He didn’t comment on the fact that in the story Theseus was pushed by the king, Techno’s crown suddenly felt very heavy on his head.

The flickers of TNT fire behind Wilbur’s eyes lessened and the goat hybrid almost saw the soft brown that had once brought his best friend such comfort. The newly revived man was thinking and as the cogs in his brain worked overtime, his expression darkened and the dangerous sparks returned, “Where's the body?” There was furosity to his tone and Tubbo out of instinct took a step back as Wilbur continued, “We could bring the body to Dream in prison, he’s revived Tommy once, he could do it again.” 

“Don’t even think about it,” Tubbo didn’t hold back the anger and warning in his words, “Tommy… Tommy doesn’t want to be revived and I won’t disgrace him that way. Dream reviving him completely destroyed him. I refuse to bring him to the man who used him as a science experiment.” 

Wilbur wavered and he looked almost guilty although Tubbo didn’t believe it for a second, none of them had cared mere moments ago but now all of a sudden they did. As much as he wanted Tommy’s family to care about him he was almost certain this was an act. There was maybe guilt and there was maybe care but love appeared to be lacking or perhaps nobody wanted to show ‘weakness’ he knew Tommy held that opinion with emotions. 

Phil hadn’t said anything since he’d dismissed what Tubbo said, his facial expression was nothing like what the goat hybrid was used to seeing. The elder swallowed heavily, his mind betraying him as thoughts came barrowing one after the other; that he could’ve done something, that he should’ve done something and the guilt from siding with Techno and Dream on doomsday plagued him. 

“Get out,” He told Tubbo with a sudden ferocity that the burnet never thought he’d see from Phil of all people but he nodded slowly but not before digging into his inventory and pulling something out, a notebook and he handed it to Phil. 

“Tommy wanted you to have this, he says he’s sorry,” The burnet’s eyes glossed over with tears but he kept his composure as Phil took the notebook from him but didn’t open it. If he didn’t look at those words then he could pretend that Tommy was still living in the remains of L’Manberg just ignoring them out of anger, only to return to them later down the line as he always did. 

Tommy would return to them just as he always did, right? 

Tubbo was gone and Phil couldn’t help but feel as if he lost the last remaining part of his son as the goat hybrid got further and further away. 

Techno put a hand on his dad’s shoulders, he wasn’t exactly the best with emotions and he hadn’t had the best relationship with his baby brother either but he knew in this moment that Phil needed someone and Wilbur didn’t seem as if he was going to volunteer considering the newly revived man was currently in his own mind, not paying attention to anything around him and muttering to himself. 

“Maybe you should read it?” The warrior suggested even though a part of him didn’t want Phil to either because it would mean accepting this was real. Phil, instead of reading the contents of the notebook, put it in his inventory, “Later, what were we doing before Tubbo showed up?” 

Okay, distractions were one thing Technoblade could handle. He did it all the time to ignore the voices which were currently screaming; something sympathetic, some angry. Technoblade ignored it because above all he didn’t want to believe his baby brother was gone and he didn’t want to believe that he could’ve been the king that pushed him from the cliff. 

You don’t realise how much you take advantage of someone’s company or presence until they’re no longer around.

Chapter Text

Ranboo squeezed Tubbo’s hand in order to help ground the ex-president as he looked out at old friends, old enemies and allies from wars that had long since passed. The burnet was grateful for all the people that had shown up, it could all be performative but Tubbo couldn’t afford to think like that. 

Glances were being stolen towards the Craft family and Tubbo had to physically pull Quackity away from Techno. Screaming at him, saying he was part of the reason Tommy was gone and honestly the goat hybrid hadn’t realised that Quackity was so close to his best friend. 

Techno, obviously, hadn’t taken well to the screaming and attack and was fully willing to PVP Quackity right then and there, it took Phil to stop him and the elder had just sounded so defeated, Tubbo guessed he’d had a lot to think about since he’d left the family the other day. Good, he thought bitterly, Tommy deserved better. 

Everyone, apart from Techno and Wilbur, were clothed in all black - the appropriate attire for a funeral and perhaps that was also part of the reason that they were getting so many looks. 

The funeral was swiftly prepared and rather messy. It wasn’t an overly formal event either but that’s the way that Tommy would want it. 

“-Tubbo?” The goat hybrid was pulled out of his thoughts by Jack Manifold standing over him, Ranboo keeping a wary eye on him. 

The burnet shook his head and offered Jack an apologetic smile, an unspoken admission that he had not heard anything that his friend had said to him. 

“I asked; how are you holding up, Tubbo?” Jack repeated but he didn’t sound mad about having to repeat it which relaxed the goat hybrid slightly as his shoulders fell laxed. 

Ranboo gave Tubbo’s hand a quick squeeze as if to remind him of something and the burnet nodded slowly, “I’m doing alright, well not exactly but-“ 

“-As alright as you can be?” Jack volunteered and the burnet nodded, grateful for the assistance otherwise he’d be tripping over his own words for the next few minutes. 

“I didn’t actually think Tommy could die, not really anyway,” The man continued and there was something similar to remorse laced within his words, Tubbo raised an eyebrow although it couldn’t be seen under his birdnest of hair, “Dream revived him when he died in the prison but now-” He cut himself off. 

Tommy had expressed to Tubbo that he wasn’t exactly sure how trustworthy Jack was after the events surrounding his hotel and acting weird about the nukes but in this moment the goat hybrid could forget all of that because Jack appeared genuine, it didn’t seem performative. Maybe he was the only one who was being performative. 

Right now though, he didn’t have time to dwell on these thoughts as he let go of Ranboo’s hand and with it all the security and comfort that came with it. 

There was a podium that had been scrapped together hastily and Tubbo walked up onto it and surprisingly enough everyone attending went quiet. He’d written and prepared a speech for this, similar to how he’d done it for the festival back in Schlatt’s Manberg, but that didn’t mean he was terrified of slipping up or forgetting parts of it. 

“Thank you all for coming,” He cringed at his own words, this felt too formal and that wasn’t right, if this was for Tommy then it couldn't be formal that’s not what we would want. He had no doubt that the teenager would laugh in his face and flip him off. He held out a crumpled piece of paper but inevitability scrunched it up in his hands and threw it to the side, making a mental note as a few people tutted to pick it up later. 

“Tommy Craft is my best friend,” Tubbo started again, “He deserves better than what he got, every person on this server he did something for; maybe you didn’t have the best relationship with him in the end but he did something for all of you! Tommy opened up my heart, he stood by my side and I stood by his, exiling him is one of the biggest regrets I have-“ His eyes cast downwards and he could hear murmurs and whispers. 

Ranboo shot him a discreet thumbs up to try and ensure him he was doing a good job but Tubbo wasn’t too sure. 

“It was always me and Tommy against Dream, that’s what he always told me, us against the world,” The goat hybrid choked up on his own words, “After the final disc war perhaps I was distant but I had no idea what was going on his head, that he would try something like this and maybe that was my own ignorance.” 

All eyes were on him, of course they were he was on a podium in front of everyone, and the whispers were getting louder. Tubbo wanted to cover his ears and cast them out, he didn’t know if he could do this, if he could keep this up. 

“Tommy deserves better…” His eyes fell on the Craft family and narrowed, Phil looked down, Techno returned his look and Wilbur simply looked right through Tubbo, the burnet wasn’t even sure if he was listening. 

The goat hybrid let out a breath that he didn’t even know he was holding and pushed himself away from the podium, slightly shaking on his feet. ‘One foot in front of the other’ he told himself as he made his way down the steps. 

Ranboo nodded encouragely towards him and looked across the group of ‘mourners’ not sure if anyone else was going to approach the podium. Nearly the entire server was here minus Dream due to him being in prison. 

Wilbur, with his still glazed stare, walked up to the podium shaking on his feet worse than Tubbo did but the enderman hybrid wasn’t even sure if the newly revived man was aware of where he was. He always seemed to be off in another world, Tommy had been trying to protect Ranboo from Wilbur and he’d still not figured out exactly why. 

“My baby brother is dead.” 

A good start, Tubbo thought bitterly but there was a waver to Wilbur’s voice that made the burnet think that maybe his current spaced-out state was an act. 

“My baby brother is fucking dead. He killed himself, he fucking killed himself,” The newly revived man started to laugh, his body shaking with the intensity of his laughter, “I thought he was going to do it all through exile, none of you saw him in exile but guess what?” He opened his arms wide and took a step closer to the edge, “Guess what? I did! Through the eyes of that pathetic ghost, I wanted to kill Dream where he stood.” 

He appeared conflicted and Tubbo wanted to believe this was genuine, that it wasn’t just an act in order to get everyone to believe that Wilbur was a better person now that he was revived because these people hadn’t seen what he was like in Pogtopia, he hadn’t seen as much of Wilbur’s deteriorating health as Tommy did but he’d seen more than most. 

“But I can’t,” He muttered and clenched his fist before shaking his head and smiling sheepishly to the mourners, “I’m sorry, I lost it there a second… grief does strange things to a person.” 

The newly revived man shot Tubbo an almost knowing look and discreetly winked at him causing a feeling of sickness to arise in the burnet’s stomach but he couldn’t say anything, not now. 

“What I was trying to say is that Tommy is dead, he couldn’t live this life anymore and most of us had a hand in that. We need to become better so this doesn’t happen again and make sure for once history doesn’t repeat itself.” 

The way he said it was so professional, the mirror image of how he used to make speeches as a president, void of emotion and Tubbo almost wished that Wilbur had allowed himself to scream and shout in insanity because that at least had emotion even if it was a lie. 

Wilbur stepped down. 

Nobody said anything but Tubbo saw Niki rub her arm and a look of guilt clear as day on her face but the burnet didn’t know why as far as he was aware the only thing she’d done bad was burn down the L’Mantree. He could be wrong but he suspected there were tears in her eyes but that was normal for a funeral. He should go talk to her later, they hadn’t spoken in quite some time. 

A few others went up to the podium to do eulogies about Tommy. Captain Puffy spoke about how although yes, Tommy had done some wrong he was just a kid and his punishments had been too harsh, Quackity spoke and actually cried half way through and couldn’t continue and he weirdly brushed off Sapnap and Karl’s attempts at comforting him to stand beside Slime. Jack Manifold spoke of their time together in L’Manberg and Fundy had a similar approach. Tubbo couldn’t help but feel as if the air was so fake, a formality, an act, pretending like they cared but maybe they did? It seemed more as if they were mourning the loss of a scapegoat. 

Surprisingly it was Sapnap that drew tears from Tubbo as the blaze hybrid shyly requested to go up. The burnet gave him a nod of affirmation and Sapnap scrambled up. He didn’t met anyone’s eye as he began to speak. 

“I wouldn’t exactly consider Tommy a close friend, I’m not even sure if he would consider us friends but I do want to apologise for someone who was my close friend, Dream, I will not excuse his actions and I will not apologise for them either but instead I apologise for not stepping in. I saw Tommy in exile at least at the beginning and I laughed at him, I didn’t realise how big of an effect it was going to have.” 

Flames danced across the palms of his hands as he gripped onto the stand on the podium hard, scorching into the wood. The designs are nothing more than the signs of a guilty man’s conscience. 

“Tommy was a fighter, he was a fighter though he didn’t want to be one. Tommy wanted to be a shield, he aimed to protect those he loved and I admired him for that but I would never tell him because the child had a big enough head… I ‘betrayed’ him during the first disc war even though he joined the fight to help me.” 

The flames got bigger and streaks of Sapnap’s hair were starting to turn a deep red with flashes or orange and yellow, the man was born in the fire after, “The pet war… the more I think about it I realise that it was stupid, I had beef with a kid younger than me because of a petty grudge and I killed his cow essentially for fun…” His voice sounded choked with guilt, “The worst part was that until Dream declared that he didn’t care about anyone, I defended his every decision, I helped the first war against the country Tommy loved…” 

He held his flaming hand up to the sky as of wishing goodbye to someone, “Tommy never got a chance to be a kid and that’s what he was, he was only a kid forced to grow up too fast and I know it probably sounds dumb coming from me of all people, especially considering I’m not that much older than Tommy myself, but that’s the truth, he never got to be a teenager and he never got to experience a calm and free life. He was always someone’s warrior, someone’s soldier, someone’s fighter, someone’s puppet, someone’s enemy… well I don’t care what any of you think and what any of you say but Tommy died a hero and the hero never gets to have a happy ending I guess even if they deserve it most of all.” 

The eulogy had been uncharacteristic for Sapnap or the persona he put on but Tubbo found himself grateful for the blaze hybrid’s words because they felt so raw and so very real. The burnet hugged the flaming man as he walked down from the podium not caring about the burns it inflicted on him. 

Tears streamed and Tubbo wanted to blame it more on the minor burns than Sapnap’s words but the blaze hybrid with his non-fired hand patted the goat hybrid on the back. Murmuring wordless apologies to him. 

He never thought Sapnap would be the one with the most genuine and guilt-filled words for Tommy. He expected that to be Phil or Techno but neither offered to stand and speak, they instead listened and exchanged whispers but did not engage outside of that. 

The coffin was lowered by Ranboo and Tubbo into the grave, it had been a closed casket the entire funeral and dirt was thrown over the coffin. Burying it. 

A gravestone marked the placement; a gravestone made out of cobblestone because it’s the way Tommy would want it. 

Tommy Craft 

20xx - 20xx 

The shield forced to be a sword

May he finally know peace

Ranboo had planted alliums in front of the grave, a mark of his and Tommy’s friendship. A few others left things too but nothing felt as meaningful. 

Phil’s crows landed in front of the grave and it almost sounded as if they were weeping, they were mourning. 

Wilbur disregarded his trench coat and put it over the grave, “The void is cold,” He reasoned. 

Techno didn’t say anything nor did he offer anything up, his face stoic and unreadable. Tubbo couldn’t draw anything about piglin’s current emotions. He watched Phil who had his head bowed and his twin. 

The funeral ended like that. 

Quackity wiped a few stray tears from his eyes, the funeral hadn’t been what he’d expected. It was what Tommy would’ve wanted though. He missed the boy, he was Quackity’s friend and the businessman had also wanted the teenager to work for him. But honestly the hardest part had been seeing his fiancés again, they were holding hands and they did try to reach out when he was crying but Quackity wouldn’t let them - he had work to do. 

“You want to go and visit Dream again, right?” Sam asked, his lips turned up in a sneer under his gas mask but Quackity didn’t have to see his face to know it was there he could hear it in his voice. The raw anger and Quackity knew that the warden cared about Tommy even if after he’d gotten Wilbur revived he tried to claim he didn’t, there was a part of him that still would. 

Of course Quackity wanted to go and see Dream, at the funeral he’d gone for Techno out of anger but the pig wasn’t the only one he blamed for Tommy’s death - Dream he blamed most of all. 

However, he currently had the admin of the server until his mercy and once he’d beat the complete shit out of him for this… he would get Dream to revive Tommy. 

Chapter Text

Grief is defined as intense sorrow, especially caused by someone's death and everyone handles it differently. There is no right or wrong way to handle grief. 

Denial was a common way to deal with grief and nobody in the Craft family wanted to believe that the youngest was dead. 

Phil had decided to distract himself by building and working on extravagant plans ranging from a secret training base to an underwater kingdom. 

Wilbur was off doing who knows what, he’d wandered off into the tundra and had returned a few hours later with a completely unreadable expression. 

Techno, well, he was trying to befriend a raccoon. 

It hadn’t been intentional, in fact Techno had tried to kill the damn thing the first time he’d encountered it. It had all started the same day Tubbo had delivered the news. 

Techno had been staring out watching the falling snowflakes, eyes trained for sniffing out enemies. Denial. The piglin hybrid didn’t want to believe his baby brother was dead and more than that he didn’t want to believe that Tommy would jump off that cliff. 

Techno felt alone. Of course he was never truly alone, the screaming chat reminded him but even they were mourning in their own way. The piglin hybrid watched the snowflakes more intensely and he didn’t notice that he’d balled his hand into a fist and was gritting his teeth. 

Snowflakes were unique, each one was different but they all fell to the ground the same, to be trampled on by someone’s feet. It was unfair. Damn, Wilbur really was getting to him, Techno chuckled slightly because that seemed like the exact train of thought his twin would have. 

His thoughts were interrupted however by a crash and bang coming from outside and as quick as a flash the piglin hybrid pulled out his sword and was ready to defend his house but that was completely unnecessary, he realised, when he saw what had disrupted him. 

Bins lay scattered across the ground, messy as if they’d been knocked over and desperately grabbing at things with their grubby little paws was a raccoon and swung his sword at the creature. It was making a mess and he didn’t want to deal with it, especially not today. He didn’t think killing the raccoon would be an extremely difficult task and it seemed distracted however the second he tried to bring his blade down it moved swiftly out of the way, narrowly avoiding sudden death. 

The piglin hybrid let out a victorious huff assuming that the animal would not return after such a close call as it darted off into the snowy plains. He had, however, been wrong. 

The raccoon returned mere hours later, the bins crashed against each other once more and Techno groaned in frustration. Seriously, was this creature stupid? Why had it returned to the place where it had almost been killed? Right back to the person who had already tried to kill it once. 

He brandished his sword once more and went outside, the raccoon was staring at the doorway of the house and Techno almost thought that the animal was laughing at him with the way it’s body shook. The raccoon was challenging him with its look as it grabbed more stray scraps off the ground, stealing from the piglin hybrid. 

‘ Fuck you, bitch’ Techno heard that ring in the back of his mind as he remained in a staring contest with the raccoon. The raccoon appeared to be stupidly stubborn but when Techno took a step towards the bins it darted off once more. The piglin hybrid put the sword away. 

“You’ve seriously made enemies with a raccoon?” Wilbur laughed as the piglin hybrid recounted the story to his twin and dad. He was certain this raccoon was trying to annoy him, this felt extremely familiar but the hybrid couldn’t quite place why nor did he exactly want to. 

Instead Techno rolled his eyes and created traps to try and ensnare his new foe or at the very least ward it away. He didn’t want this raccoon to become more of a pest than it already was. 

The raccoon, however, was crafty and it didn’t fall for Techno’s traps so easily and it seemed to be making even more of a mess now intentionally, almost as if it knew that it was annoying the piglin hybrid and was trying to do so out of spite. 

It became increasingly clear to Techno that this creature was not going anywhere anytime soon. He’d expected the raccoon to be stupid especially considering that it had returned to a place where it so clearly wasn’t wanted but it was outsmarting every single one of Techno’s traps. 

Wilbur was, of course, finding the whole ordeal rather amusing to watch. He sounded eerily similar to the twin that Techno knew he’d lost in Pogtopia when he laughed, genuinely laughed not a fake one but a real laugh that came from the gut and is hard to bottle. At least something good was coming out of the situation, Techno even saw the ghost of a smile on Phil’s lips too as he listened to his son recount the raccoon’s latest great escape. 

“I thought you were supposed to be the smart one here, mate,” Phil clapped him on the shoulder and although it was a playful dig at him Techno was grateful that Phil was at least talking, the piglin hybrid wasn’t the best with emotions and he didn’t like being a shoulder to cry on - not because he didn’t care but rather because he found it hard to show that he did care. 

Maybe the raccoon was doing some good after all. 

Techno hadn’t said a word since they’d returned from the funeral neither had Phil, instead the father had opted to close himself into his allocated bedroom in Techno’s retirement home, most likely doing his own form of mourning. 

Wilbur had tried to get a conversation going between them, tried to lighten the mood as he assumed Tommy would but in the end gave up and went out to do his own thing. 

The piglin hybrid sat on the stairs of his home, his chat screaming at him for saying nothing during Tommy’s funeral, for simply listening but not engaging, for acting as if he was above the whole thing. That wasn’t true. Techno hadn’t stayed quiet at Tommy’s funeral because he believed was above everyone else but rather because he didn’t think they deserved to know what he had to say to his baby brother; those thoughts and those words were reserved only for his ears and Tommy’s, not that Tommy could hear it anymore. 

He supposed in the tundra he could say those words, he could let them out because it’s not as if anyone else would hear him but as he opened his mouth the words fell dead on his tongue. Speaking this meant acknowledging his baby brother was really gone and Techno didn’t believe that. Tommy always survived, truthfully he didn’t think the brat was even capable of dying (much like himself), he was convinced Tommy lived simply to spite the gods or to spite his enemies. The kid had a lot of enemies, more than a seventeen year old should, but he also had a lot more allies and that was something that Techno envied, his brother’s ability to make allies out of nearly everyone. Even Techno knew that if brother had requested that he would fight by his side. 

That’s why Tommy couldn’t be dead. The teenager was too bright, too full of life despite everything he’d gone through and he’d been put through a lot. 

Guilt weighed on the warrior’s mind and although he would blow L’Manberg up again in a heartbeat perhaps telling his little brother to die was too far, perhaps siding with Dream had been too far. Tommy had betrayed him though, but if the kid truthfully was dead then such trivial details didn’t matter anymore. 

“You were worthy,” Techno whispered, his voice picked by the harsh cold winds and blew into the heart of the tundra, getting lost in it. A brother’s confession, something he wished he’d gotten to say. Techno wasn’t one for regret and he would never undo any of his past actions but when it came to his family sometimes he would reconsider that mentality if it meant they were all happy once again, like they used to be before everything went wrong. 

This was the exact reason why Techno didn’t do emotions. His chat was screaming in his ears and the piglin hybrid almost shouted to shut them up, there were times when they got unbearable and this was one of those days. He didn’t do emotions because it made his head hurt too much trying to comprehend, he didn’t do emotions because if he said the wrong thing to someone else he could completely fuck something up, he didn’t do emotions because they made him feel weak and Techno couldn’t be weak - he was the warrior brother, he had to be strong. 

The familiar crashing of the bins rang through Techno’s ears and his eyes cast to his left, falling on the menace who had decided today of all days to show up once again. He guessed he should’ve expected that, the raccoon had shown up every single day since Tubbo had told Techno about Tommy, it wasn’t that farfetched to assume that it would show up again today. Only this time the opening of the door wouldn’t alert the raccoon to his presence. It would be so easy for Techno to get his sword from his inventory and finally kill the pest. This could be the end of it. 

The piglin hybrid crept over to the raccoon, which hadn’t yet noticed, about to pull out his sword… but he hesitated. 

That was enough to alert the raccoon to his presence and it made a noise from its throat and attempted to bury itself under Techno’s house, effectively scurrying away. He had missed his chance to kill and Techno exhaled a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

The reaction almost reminded Techno of when he’d discovered his baby brother going through his belongings when he was supposed to be in exile and how he’d tried to run back to his ‘secret underground base’ under the house. 

The piglin hybrid wasn’t exactly sure if he believed in reincarnation but the raccoon made him think of Tommy, he was forced to admit that now to himself. 

The tall creature debated momentarily over what he should do but eventually he knelt down slowly, pulling some bread from his inventory, putting the sword away so he appeared as less of a threat, and held out towards where the raccoon had tried to hide, “It’s okay,” His voice was gruff and he realised it was most likely because he wasn’t using it quite so often as of late, only really using it to tell Phil and Wilbur about his encounters with the creature and his next move, “I won’t hurt you.” He attempted to coax. 

He held the bread out for so long that his arm was beginning to get sore and he was just away to pull it away when the animal crawled out, its masked eyes poking out and hands grabbed, eating greedily as if scared Techno would take the food away. He remembered how Tommy scoffed down the gapples that he had stolen from the piglin when he’d lived with him, he’d eaten them as if he terrified that he would never see food again and maybe, Techno thought, he was. It was no secret that Tommy had under-eaten during exile. 

The raccoon as a thank you put one hand on top of Techno’s before vanishing back under the house again and the piglin hybrid sighed slightly disappointed but it couldn’t be that easy he guessed. He couldn’t expect the animal he’d tried to kill to immediately trust him, that would take time. 

His crown once again felt as if was weighing him down. 

Chapter Text

Techno’s relationship with the raccoon was improving, slowly but surely. It didn’t seem to fully trust him yet but it wasn’t immediately running away after obtaining the food anymore, that was progress. 

The piglin hybrid sat in the snow, ignoring the wetness and because of his hybrid traits the cold barely affected him due to having the heat of the nether burning through his veins, and held a hand out to the creature which had finished gnawing on greedily. 

Wilbur had recently started teasing Techno for his encounters with the raccoon especially due to the fact that he’d supposedly had such a deep hatred for it mere days ago. Phil had simply left his warrior son to it, he was still hauled away in his room working on various projects barely showing his face but he seemed to enjoy Techno’s raccoon stories when he did. It seemed that Techno wasn’t the only person who was reminded of Tommy. 

Cautiously the piglin hybrid held his hand out to the raccoon and as expected the creature peered expectantly, obviously thinking there was going to be more food for it but instead saw an empty hand. It’s face peered up at Techno and the warrior wouldn’t be surprised if the creature was analysing him, looking for any signs of deception but perhaps he was giving the creature too much credit, all Techno knew for certain was that it had been able to avoid all his traps back when he’d been trying to kill it. 

Gingerly the raccoon placed its tiny hands onto Techno’s and titled its head forwards towards the warrior, a small sign of vulnerability and the beginnings of trust. Techno didn’t want to mess this up, he knew how easy simple actions and words could ruin a relationship especially a relationship in the process of healing. 

His relationship with Tommy, well had it been healing? Truthfully, Techno wasn’t sure. His baby brother joining the empire during his exile had been the blossoms of forgiveness from Techno’s withers at the sixteenth and his story, his attempts to kill his own brother. That had been harsh, the piglin hybrid did realise that. 

Maybe that was why the raccoon reminded him so much of his fiery, spitfire, energetic baby brother because despite the fact that he’d tried to kill it the raccoon had persisted and continued to show up just as Tommy had done, despite everything that Techno had done that could have potentially hurt his brother - even if the piglin hybrid believed it was for the best, that his actions were the best course of action, he couldn’t deny that they’d still hurt Tommy but his brother always returned. 

Tommy had always tried to see the best in everyone no matter what they’d done, it was perhaps stupid for Techno to project this all onto a raccoon but the creature truly did remind him of his brother. 

With his free hand the piglin hybrid gently stroked the top of the creatures head being as careful as possible not to come across as a threat to the animal, he didn’t want to make it run. 

The raccoon made a purring noise, or at least a noise similar enough to purring, content with the current situation. 

“Mhmm, Theseus,” Techno murmured to himself approvingly, the raccoon needed a name and although he was usually one for subtlety, he knew that his brother wasn’t. It felt fitting. It felt right. He would gain this raccoon’s full trust. 

“Quackity, I can’t do the revival without Tommy’s body,” Dream squeaked as he held his hands up in front of his face in defence, he was afraid the businessman would hurt him more because he couldn’t do what he asked but those were the rules of resurrection, he needed the body. 

The scar on Quackity’s face tensed dangerously and he leaned closer, Dream could see the reflection of his face in the axe, “Are you certain?” 

The admin understood that Quackity was attempting to threaten him and although Dream knew that Quackity’s threat came with a promise of pain that didn’t change the facts, “I am certain.” He attempted to deliver the line fully deadpan to emphasis that he definitely wasn’t lying. 

The businessman frowned however his grip on the weapon loosened and Dream almost let out a breath of relief as Quackity believed him. His relief was a poor judgement as the promise of pain was still apparent. 

“If I bring you the body then you’ll perform the revival for me?” Quackity asked casually, he asked it the same way that one would ask someone if they could have an extra scoop of ice cream but didn’t really care if the person said no. Dream knew this nonchalant method was the most dangerous because the businessman definitely did care about the answer. 

“Yes,” He answered firmly and quickly, a nod accompanied his words to really assure the businessman that he was certain in what he was saying. He’d revived Tommy once before with just his body and it had gone perfectly fine, the admin had no reason to believe that he couldn’t do it again just as easily plus he’d had some extra practice reviving Wilbur too, the book definitely worked. 

Quackity nodded and Dream wanted to relax as he figured he’d answered everything correctly but a swiftly kick to his stomach which left him momentarily winded and reminded him that he should never feel at ease around the businessman. “Then I will bring you Tommy and you’ll bring him back for me,” He continued his point as if he hadn’t kicked Dream at all, he didn’t acknowledge it in the slightest. 

Dream watched as Quackity exited the prison cell and he felt a rush of calmness because at least for now he didn’t have to deal with the businessman any longer and could seriously consider and think about what was said to him. 

Tommy was dead. 

With the way Quackity had been acting the admin hadn’t actually had time to take that in, Tommy had committed suicide. He truthfully couldn’t say he was shocked, Dream knew too well that Tommy had deeply considered it during exile, he’d been part of the reason for the teenager’s attempts too. 

Should he feel guilty? Maybe but instead all the admin felt was annoyance (mixed with some fear from his encounter with Quackity) because Tommy should’ve known that Dream was going to be made to revive him, that he would be once again clawed away from his limbo. Perhaps Dream was envious that Tommy was getting an escape even if it was only a minor one. 

Sam hadn’t come to see him since when the supposed funeral was, he gave Quackity the food to give the prisoner and Quackity told him it was because, ‘He couldn’t bear to see Dream’s face’ and honestly the prisoner couldn’t even bring it on himself to blame the prison warden. 

There was one interesting thing that came with being able to revival people is because, yes, Dream hadn’t been lying when he told Quackity that he needed the body to revive someone - he was too scared of lying to the businessman - that didn’t mean that he couldn’t ‘check in’ on someone in limbo. 

He wouldn’t be able to see them nor would he really be able to see their limbo unless pulling them out of it but he’d be able to feel their presence, their lack of life and their emotions. It wasn’t as if Dream needed to see Tommy’s limbo anyways, he already had, an empty black void. 

The admin twisted his hand outwards and a small grin of satisfaction played on his lips as flickers of green and black danced from his fingertips, he groped around at the air, opening a small rip into what should be Tommy’s own personal limbo. 

His expression distorted at what he found, the grin disappearing entirely, Quackity wasn’t going to be happy. 

“This is so fucked up,” Quackity murmured to himself as his eyes darted side to side making sure that no one was watching him, it was a necessary action but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel bad about it. The businessman rather liked Tommy and the fact that his old close friend was dead genuinely hurt a lot, that being said he was currently at Tommy’s grave with a shovel. 

Nobody appeared to be around, he made sure to look extra hard for the particles or signs that someone was using an invisibility potion. His breath was caught in his throat, Quackity despite his plans did have a genuine soft spot for Tommy and that was why he had lost it at Techno during the funeral. It was no mystery why the old citizens believed that the Craft family was to blame, Phil had left, Techno had told him to die and Wilbur… well Quackity didn’t even want to try and go through all of that. 

He gritted his teeth in anger and distaste for the newly revived man, his eyes landed on the disregarded trench coat. “The void is cold.” He heard Wilbur’s reasoning echo through his head and he wanted to laugh, how fucking pitful was it? He was pretending to give a shit and for what reason? If Wilbur truly had cared then he would never have done any of this. 

Maybe he was thinking too much into this, maybe he simply wanted an excuse to act on vengeance, it would be a lie if he said that he didn’t enjoy it a little but there was a part in the back of his head screaming at him that he shouldn’t use the suicide of his friend as a way to excuse that. He couldn’t scoop to that level. Then again, he was digging up a grave.

He dug his shovel into the mud, he wished there had been rain, that would make this process so much easier but it had been a sunny day. The world hadn’t stopped to mourn Tommy, the world hadn’t stopped to weep for him, it had simply continued. 

Sweat dripped down his back causing his shirt to stick to his back uncomfortably, the businessman was tired. He wished that he’d asked Sam or Slime to help him. This was exhausting and this wasn’t even accounting for the fact that he would have to also carry the teenager’s body back to the prison as well. 

Truthfully Quackity wasn’t even sure if Tommy would thank him, would the blond grow to resent him too? 

A shake of the head yanked the businessman out of the unwelcome thoughts. Quackity had already accepted that he wasn’t playing the role of a good guy which meant he couldn’t suddenly have a moral dilemma. Anyways he could offer Tommy residence in Las Nevadas, barely anyone would need to know he’d been revived. 

Staring back at the businessman was Tommy’s coffin, a cow engraved on the front of it and Quackity felt a small smile quirk up onto his lips, he hadn’t noticed that at the funeral. He’d heard the stories of Tommy’s beloved pet cow Henry and he had to admit he was somewhat grateful they hadn’t engraved the discs on the front despite how meaningful they were to Tommy. 

He ran his hands over his own face and a shallow shaky breath escaped him, it hit him all at once just how fucked up this was. That didn’t matter though, right? That is what he kept telling himself and just to keep himself sane, he had to keep repeating it. 

This was it. He’d gotten his far, he’d dug up the grave, he wasn’t going to stop now. He couldn’t stop now. With another and final deep breath he used the shovel to get the coffin open, wanting desperately to rip his eyes away, he settled for closing them. He didn’t know what he was going to see, nobody had seen the body and he knew Tommy had jumped from quite the height. He wasn’t ready, he wasn’t ready, he wasn’t ready. 

A few long seconds passed and finally Quackity pried to find… nothing . 

The coffin was empty.

Chapter Text

He was falling and for once Tommy felt at peace. 

Was he supposed to be scared right now? He was sure that he was but somehow he couldn’t find the energy to be. It almost brought a smile to his face, he was moving and he was actually doing something, he’d gotten out of bed and he’d gotten up. Sure, that was the last thing that he would ever do but he had to be slightly proud of himself because nobody else would be otherwise. 

Time felt as if it had slowed down by centuries, falling felt as if it was going to last forever but the teenager found that he could accept that. He would take falling forever over everything else he’d experienced, staring upwards at the starry sky. It was beautiful. He was alright with this being the last sight. It finally wasn’t Wilbur’s face or Dream’s face. 

“Oh my child,” Tommy heard a soft voice proclaim and almost had a double-take then and there. How was someone speaking to him? How was he hearing them over the howl of the wind… only he realised that the howling wind had stopped, in fact everything had stopped, he was no longer falling but rather he was suspended in the air. 

A swear rose and died in the teenager’s throat, he was tempted to shout out but he didn’t. He stayed quiet, eyes frantically searching for the owner of the voice. 

He felt a hand cup his face, soft skin and black nail polish sparkling on the nails, he found himself leaning into the touch, desperate for any affectionate form of contact. 

“I wish I could let you rest,” The voice sounded sad and Tommy now made eye-contact, or as close as he could get to eye-contact considering the black veil that covered her face, with the person. He understood this was a goddess, it wasn’t his first time encountering a deity of this server, he thought back to Drista the deity of chaos. “You deserve that much, you’ve been through so much for one so young.” Tommy could melt in her voice, it was so comforting. 

He tried to understand what her words meant but whatever blossoming thought he had disappeared as she caught him in a warm embrace. He was surprised to say the least, he had always expected death to be cold and harsh, despite Phil’s claims, yet she was kind. She appeared to care for him, Tommy hid his face in her hair which he was certain was made of starlight. He allowed himself the luxury of feeling cared about, it had been so long that he’d almost forgotten just how calming a hug could be. 

“Tommy,” Death spoke his name, “It is not your time yet.” She lifted her veil and moved him, allowing the teenager to see her fully. Tommy was certain that he had seen her before somewhere, a photograph, a lost memory, a dream, something. She had kind eyes, there were shining black orbs yet somehow they held the most life the teenager had ever seen, there was a sadness in them and an anger that Tommy couldn’t place but somehow he knew that it wasn’t for him. “He never should have let it get this bad,” She murmured to herself and the teenager wanted to question who she was talking about but he couldn’t bring himself to. 

She pressed her lips against his forehead, a paternal type of affection, as slowly and cautiously she brought him to the ground. “Stay safe, my child, I hope we won’t meet again soon.” Then in a flash of silver and black she was gone and time resumed. 

The teen couldn’t be certain what he’d just experienced was real but he could feel the hard ground against his feet and he wasn’t a mere splat on the ground waiting to be discovered. That was assurance enough but what was to prevent him from climbing up again, he couldn’t help the bitter chuckle that escaped his lips as he realised the irony in Death being the only one that cared for him. He couldn’t wipe the impression that he’d seen her before. 

Tommy’s eyes cast up to the silver stars shimmering above him, in the exact position they’d been as he was falling. The freedom of falling was gone and he felt the iron shackles around his ankles pulling him down, tears burning in his eyes threatening to fall. 

Had Death really done him a kindness? He was convinced this was crueler yet seeing her face he was sure that wasn’t her intention and maybe that made it worse. The cobblestone tower a few blocks in front of him, he was certain it was laughing at him. He was tempted to go up again but he didn’t get long to ponder on that thought. 

He heard footsteps from behind him and immediately Tommy jumped to the defensive, ready to spill some nonsense about why he was out and why he was back in logstedshire of all places but his preparing was worth nothing. He saw Ranboo looking at him or at least he thought it was Ranboo, the enderman hybrid’s eyes were glowing a deep purple that Tommy had never seen before and when his mouth fell open at an ungodly width all that felt was a language that Tommy recognised as ender but couldn’t understand. 

Okay well now the blond was confused, what was going on? First an encounter with Death who spared him and now this, this was a weird night. He went to take a step backwards but Ranboo only stepped forward. He didn’t understand what was going on with his friend, he’d never seen him like this and Tommy was torn between seeing if he needed help or running as he didn’t know if the enderman hybrid was going to be a threat or not. 

Ranboo’s head tilted to the side and cautiously he took a step towards Tommy, one hand out and it was in this moment that the teenager realised that the enderman hybrid was trying not to scare him, he was trying to comfort him or at least that is what the blond guessed. 

The blond approached his friend and the second he got close enough the enderman hybrid hugged Tommy tightly, his long limbs trapping the teenager, speaking in scratchy ender which Tommy was sure was supposed to be comforting and he didn’t know what it was about this encounter but he felt himself breaking, a cry escaped him, he didn’t try to contain it. 

Ranboo simply let Tommy cry and scream wordlessly, all noise but not a single cohesive word shared between them simply noise but Tommy found that it was a lot more satisfying then screaming into the void. He let him get it out. 

The blond heard the sizzle of his tears burning Ranboo and he wanted to pull away to prevent himself from hurting the enderman hybrid further but the second he attempted to move away from the embrace, he was pulled back with a grunt of ender. So they stayed like that, Tommy crying until there were no tears felt and all he could do was whimper until his exhaustion caught up with him and the world went black. 

“You brought him back here last night, Boo, I think he’d been crying and you just carried him into the house and then passed out,” Tubbo explained calmly but his eyes kept wandering over to his asleep best friend. 

“I really don’t remember,” Ranboo mumbled and the burnet nodded in understanding, he wasn’t angry with his platonic husband, he knew it wasn’t Ranboo’s fault but he just wished he knew what had happened. 

Michael clambered up onto the sofa that Tommy was sleeping on whilst his dads were talking, he’d seen barely any movement from the blond and the zombie piglin was curious who this new person was. He hadn’t met that many people, his parents were a touch protective. 

Successfully he managed to get up without making that much noise, not enough to alert Tubbo and Ranboo’s attention for the time being. His face a few inches away from the sleeping teenager. 

“Hello!!” The zombie piglin shouted excitedly in Tommy’s face, having not met that many people he hadn’t been taught that wasn’t exactly the deemed the right greeting especially when someone was asleep. 

The blond immediately was awake, his legs pulled up to his chest and almost completely knocking Michael off the sofa, his lanky limbs making him curling up small rather ineffective. 

Once he saw the zombie piglin in dungarees his shoulders relaxed and he uncurled his body, his eyes meeting Michael and he gave a small wave. 

Tubbo raised an eyebrow towards Ranboo in confusion, he didn’t exactly want Tommy swearing at his kid for waking him up but it was unusual that he hadn’t. He sat on the sofa, pulling Michael into his lap, “You okay?” Usually Tubbo was a lot more chaotic and he didn’t exactly enjoy talking emotions out but it felt necessary. 

The teenager shrugged in response. Tommy was trying to remember how he’d ended up in Snowchester, he was sure he’d been at logstedshire a few hours ago. It took a few minutes for the events of the previous night to come flooding back to him and he looked up at Ranboo apologetically but he did notice the enderman hybrid’s eyes looked normal now; red and green opposed to the purple he saw last night. 

“I’m Michael!” The zombie piglin introduced, wriggling around in the goat hybrid’s arms, wanting to properly speak to a potential new friend. He noticed how sad the blond seemed and thought he could do with a friend, he knew that’s how he’d felt until he was given his chicken friend. 

Tommy opened his mouth to introduce himself. Do you ever stop talking? He heard Wilbur’s shout echo through his mind and immediately his mouth snapped shut. Every time he spoke something went wrong, he’d caused so much problems on the server and he couldn’t… he didn’t have the energy to speak, truthfully he just wanted to go back to sleep. 

Michael’s face dropped from the blond’s reaction, the kid worried that he did something wrong. Tommy’s heart clenched in his chest as he saw the disappointment on the zombie piglin’s face and he thought for a moment before opening his inventory and pulling out some paper and in rather shaky handwriting he wrote; Tommy :D

Tubbo let Michael go considering how badly the zombie piglin was wriggling around. He also wanted to go and speak to Ranboo as he could see the concern plastered on the enderman hybrid’s face. 

The goat hybrid nodded towards Ranboo and he left Michael with Tommy to go and speak to him. 

“We need to find out what happened,” Ranboo spoke up first before Tubbo even had a chance to get a word in. 

“This isn’t Tommy,” Tubbo agreed quietly, he didn’t like seeing his best friend like this, Tommy was known for being annoying yet endearing but he seemed scared of his own shadow right now and that’s what made Tubbo realised that since he exiled him that he really has no idea anything that Tommy went through. 

Ranboo almost seemed to read Tubbo’s thoughts as he put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, “Don't blame yourself, we’ll get him to talk to us but I did find this in my inventory this morning, I think I picked it up from Tommy yesterday.” He raked in his inventory before pulling out notes addressed to Phil, Tubbo, Ranboo and a few other people on the server too. A hint of guilt glimmered behind the taller one’s eyes as he realised he perhaps should have given this to Tubbo earlier but the burner didn’t seem mad as he took the one with his own name. 

Slowly he opened and took his time reading it, struggling but determined, after a few minutes Ranboo watched Tubbo’s face shut down but the enderman hybrid knew the burnet well enough by now to understand that’s how he dealt with emotions, pushing it away and trying not to let it bother him and Ranboo was trying to work on that with him. “What is it, Tubbo?” He was pretty sure he already knew the answer. 

“It’s a suicide note.” 

A few days had passed and still Tommy hadn’t uttered a word to them, Michael seemed to have bonded with the blond however, choosing to befriend him. The zombie piglin didn’t seem worried that his new friend had to take a few seconds to write down what he was saying. 

Tommy had to admit he was enjoying the company a little more than staying in the dirt shack by himself, most days not moving his bed, that hadn’t changed much in Snowchester though, he barely moved further than the sofa. He still had a sharp pain at the front of his head which caused him to want to scream and snap at people who he knew were just trying to help him, every time Ranboo tried to sit him down and ask him what was happening the blond wanted to scream and he wanted to swear at him but he couldn’t find it in him to do it - he didn’t want to push someone else away although maybe it would be easier? 

He’d long since forgotten what it felt like to have someone care for him. Tubbo, on the other hand, mostly avoided him for the first few days. He desperately wanted to help his best friend but he wasn’t sure how. The burnet was more angry than anything else, Tommy’s note hadn’t told him everything and he still had questions but ultimately he realised that this server had been the catalyst for most of his problems and the people on it… Tommy didn’t deserve any of this. 

The burnet looked in his inventory and saw Tommy’s note addressed to Phil and he knew what he had to do. He had the opportunity to give his best friend a chance at a better life, to cut the people who had hurt him the most out of it and start over, to be essentially reborn. Tubbo hoped this time he didn’t have a hand in fucking it up. 

“I’m going out,” He shouted back towards Tommy, Ranboo and Michael. 

Chapter Text

“You can’t meddle with human affairs,” XD scolded, his crossed out mask hiding his expression but Death was certain that he was adorning a scowl. She simply crossed her arms at him, not bothering to entertain him by responding, she didn’t have to because Drista did it for her. 

“You are the last person who can tell anyone off for that,” The goddess of chaos input, she stuck her tongue out at her older brother and Death lightly chuckled at the exchange between them. 

XD appeared momentarily flustered but quickly he smoothed down his robes and composed himself, “I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about, sister.” 

“I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about, sister,” Drista mocked, “Get off it! Your little human friend, one of the British ones, right?” 

Green and white sparks begin to fly behind XD, he did not seem to appreciate Drista’s attitude even though well… she was in the right, he appeared himself to speak in his demonic tone, feeling it rumble at the back of his throat. 

“You look like you’re about to start barking at me.” 

Immediately the sparks stopped and XD’s shoulders slumped, a small laugh escaping him from underneath the mask. 

“XD, it was not his time,” Death causally intercepted, deciding as the deity appeared slightly calmer that this was her best chance. 

“If she hadn’t spared him then you know one of the rest of us would have brought him back anyways,” Drista shrugged, “Tommy is my friend, can’t have him dying on me.” 

The deity of power sighed but he sounded defeated, “I suppose you are right but Kristen,” He addressed Death directly, “Please try to avoid too much interference, okay?” 

She nodded, two fingers crossed behind her back, a false promise. Drista’s eyes lingered on the cross and a knowing grin spread across her face however she kept her mouth shut. 

Death supposed that she could take a break for now, for now she knew that Tommy was safe and that had to be enough. 

Tubbo had truthfully expected Tommy to be angry, a part of him had wanted it, he longed to hear his best friend’s voice once more even if it was the teenager screaming at him yet the blond said nothing, their eyes locked in an uncomfortable staring competition waiting to see who would break first. 

Ranboo had ushered Michael out of the room and upstairs to play with his chicken, he didn’t exactly know how this was going to end and he didn’t want Michael in the crossfire if it turned ugly. 

The silence was almost more deafening than Tommy’s shouts of anguish would be, every harsh word and swear trapped in his throat. His eyes eventually disconnecting from his friend’s and fell to the ground, ‘I told them you died.’ Tubbo’s statement repeated in the back of his mind like a broken record, a broken disc. Everyone believed that he’d successfully killed himself. They’d even held a funeral for him according to Tubbo.

That’s what he’d wanted to do, wasn’t it? He’d wanted to die but Tommy hadn’t wanted to deal with the fires that came after it, in his original ‘plan’ - so to speak - he wouldn’t have had to, he’d have been dead and yet here he was because Death had refused to take him. 

He swallowed thickly, a lump forming in the back of his throat, his brain rushing at a million miles an hour he could barely grasp a single coherent thought. Nothing made any sense and he was tired. Tommy wanted to lie down, to curl up, to fall asleep and never wake up but instead he was stuck in an awkward showdown with Tubbo. Tommy hadn’t wanted this. 

“Why did you never talk to me?” The burnet asked, Tubbo wasn’t the best at expressing his emotions and Tommy knew that which meant he knew just how hard it was for him to do this now and he knew that meant this was important to Tubbo… and Tommy wished he could answer it. “Why won’t you talk to me now?” 

Because it hurts too much, The words refuse to leave his throat, bubbling and burning instead but not slipping out. Guilt racked away in Tommy’s brain because truthfully he did want to confine in one of his closest friends but even opening his mouth was too much, he couldn’t bring himself too, he didn’t have the energy. He couldn’t meet Tubbo’s gaze and maybe that was for the best, the goat hybrid didn’t want the blond to see the tears threatening to spill. 

Ranboo wasn’t sure if he should interject or not, if this had anything to do with him but he’d seen exile and he’d seen a glimmer of what Tommy had been through and he knew that he had only seen the surface level. Tubbo had, of course, known the blond for longer which meant any family issues the burnet would have seen more but that didn’t stop Ranboo from finally awkwardly deciding that this argument was going nowhere and to break them apart. “Tubbo, I think he needs time,” The enderman hybrid spoke to his platonic husband in a soft tone, approaching Tubbo’s side to allow him to put a hand on his shoulder and squeeze gently. The burnet sighed but nodded slowly. Perhaps Ranboo was right, he couldn’t imagine what Tommy was feeling right now, it was something bad enough to cause one of the loudest people on the server to almost seem scared of speaking. 

Tommy gave the enderman hybrid a grateful look, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips and Ranboo was certain at this moment that he had made the right choice. He still wished that he could recall how he had found Tommy, it could make this whole situation a lot easier to answer but it could never be easy for them, could it? It was the Dream SMP after all and when Tommy was involved it was never easy although Ranboo did not blame Tommy for that, the blond had still defended him in that trial right when he joined despite not needing to and knowing a tougher punishment would be handed out to him. 

“I’m going to go and work on the nukes,” Tubbo announced casually and it wasn’t missed by either of them that the small smile creeping on Tommy’s face grew as his best friend announced something of that calibre as if it was nothing. The burnet had to take whatever wins he could, acting the same as always because he didn’t even know if he was allowed to feel pain about this situation anymore… Perhaps Ranboo was right, maybe Tommy would just need time before he would tell them. 

“Working to take your mind off of things?” A voice interrupted Tubbo’s thoughts as he pulled away from the blueprints that he must have been staring at for at least twenty minutes without realising, he was almost grateful for the interruption, he remembered how bad his blank stares could get when he was president. The interrupter pulled out a seat and took their place next to Tubbo and the goat hybrid saw none other than Jack Manifold. 

The burnet managed a forced smile as he shrugged, “It’s easier I guess.” He didn’t know exactly what to answer with, he couldn’t exactly fully confine in Jack, could he? He also thought that Tommy was dead and as much as Tubbo did see the elder as his friend, he didn’t exactly trust him not to run his mouth, “Why are you here anyway?” 

A long exhale left Jack before he spoke again, “I didn’t really get to speak to you at the funeral, you were really out of it, man, and I can’t exactly blame you, you lost your best friend.” He doesn’t even know the half of it, Tubbo turned his full attention to the man sitting beside him now. 

“Yeah, sorry about that,” He chuckled nervously and shrugged again, “I know the last time I was cracking jokes and everything, guess everyone assumed this would be the same, right?” 

Jack pulled back slightly, an apologetic expression forming on his face and immediately Tubbo knew that it was going to be followed up by pity and right now that was the last thing that he needed. “What did you want to talk about?” He cut off the elder before that he could speak and he saw a flash of defeat from Jack but luckily he didn’t press, Tubbo wasn’t sure if he could handle him pushing. 

His expression darkened but not with malice but rather regret. The burnet tilted his head to the side in a questioning manner but let Jack take his time, he wasn’t sure what the elder was away to tell him and he wasn’t even sure if he was the right person for Jack to try and confine into but he was going to try at least. 

“I said before, I never really thought that Tommy could die y’know? I mean I quite literally crawled out of Hell, I assumed that Tommy would do the same, that nothing could actually get rid of him,” Tubbo wasn’t exactly sure where this was going but he listened, “He’s Tommy-fucking-Innit, Tubs. That’s why I never expected anything to come of my attempts to get rid of him, I thought I wanted rid of him. I wanted revenge for the way he has treated me like his sidekick, how he killed me and never showed any remorse for it despite me being one of the only people to visit him in exile. Goddamnit, Tubbo, I just wanted someone on this server to take me seriously and sure maybe I used Tommy as a scapegoat, everyone on this fucking server did but I didn’t expect him to die, for him to actually be gone.” The elder was running out of breath as the confession fell from his lips, panting heavily, regret laced behind each word but that didn’t take back what he’d done. 

“I can’t help but feel like I’m part of the reason why he’s gone.” 

His entire body shaking, the confession taking everything out of him. The goat hybrid didn’t respond, at least not immediately, Jack was gripping his arm and peering at him, pleading with him to please say something. Tubbo didn’t know what he could say, he had regarded Jack one of his closest friends but he’d tried to kill one of his best friend’s and then suddenly something clicked in the back of his mind;

“The nuke that nearly hit Tommy, the reason why he was so close to the blast, why you and Niki were acting so weird that day.” Everything came into place. 

Jack didn’t answer, he didn’t need to, the fact that he was no longer meeting Tubbo’s eyes answered enough for him. The burnet took a large breath, he had never been good at confronting people, he’d spend nearly all his time on this server being referred to as a ‘yes man’. He shook his head and rose to his feet, he wouldn’t look at Jack, he needed time to process, he was acknowledging that although Jack was showing what appeared to be sincere grief that it had taken Tommy ‘dying’ for him to realise what was wrong with his plans. 

Niki, Jack’s reaction had confirmed that he had also been in on this, Niki who had been like an older sister to Tommy. Tubbo didn’t feel regret for telling everyone that Tommy was gone, he was just starting to realise the brunt of how many people had hurt Tommy or tried to, his best friend. 

This server wasn’t good for any of them, the burnet was beginning to see the full extent of that. He checked over his shoulder to see that Jack wasn’t insistent on following him but luckily he wasn’t. The goat hybrid decided that he was going to brainstorm about what their next move could be. 

He didn’t know how much longer he could do this for.

Chapter Text

“Theseus!” Techno scolded as the raccoon pulled back from the bin it had been rummaging in and the piglin hybrid could swear that the raccoon was pouting at him, he had to bite back a chuckle at the scene, reminding him too much of his baby brother being caught touching his weapons. The piglin hybrid had been trying to stop Theseus from going through his bins by bringing him fresh food outside, claiming to Phil and Wilbur that it was simply to avoid him having to clean up a mess every single time. 

A snicker came from behind him and Techno whipped around to see his twin standing behind him, a smirk playing on his lips and a glint to his eyes that the piglin hybrid couldn’t exactly read. The raccoon backing up slightly at another person being there, he wasn’t making a run for it just yet but his guard was certainly up and Techno swore to any god that would listen to him if Wilbur messed up all his hard work that he put into bonding with this raccoon that he would strangle him. 

“So this is Theseus then?” The newly revived man grinned and there was almost a mocking tone to his voice as he walked past his twin approaching the raccoon which backed up even more and Techno held his breath preparing for Theseus to make a run for it. 

However life is full of surprises. Wilbur crouched in front of the raccoon, staying at a suitable distance and making sure the creature could see that he had an out if he wanted to bolt for it. Techno’s shoulders relaxed and he let out the breath he’d been holding, causing the burnet to whip his head around and meet his twin’s eye, winking at him in a teasing manner. 

“Hi Theseus,” The burnet wasn’t exactly sure how he should regard this creature so at first he attempted using a baby voice and he swore he could almost see the raccoon roll his eyes but still didn’t run despite still being cautious, it had taken a while for Techno to build up his trust with the raccoon and it seemed as if he was going to trust Wilbur any easier. The newly revived man didn’t know why that hurt so much. 

Theseus made a noise directed towards Techno and if the piglin hybrid could understand he was sure it would be something along the lines of; ‘where’s my food, bitch?’ and the piglin scrunched up his nose but came over with the plate, crouching next to Wilbur. 

The raccoon did not hold back and began rapidly ripping items away from the plate into his grubby hands before scoffing the lot down. “Be careful, you’ll choke if you keep that up,” Wilbur scowled and he didn’t even register how stupid it must sound that he was saying this to a raccoon because for some reason he couldn’t explain he felt drawn to ensure this raccoon didn’t choke on his food. 

“Should we try and get him inside?” Wilbur murmured to his twin from their crouching positions, his eyes still on the raccoon eating, a strangely fond expression on his face. 

Techno chuckled lightly and elbowed his twin in the ribs, “Didn’t you make fun of me for ‘being attached to a raccoon’ because you seem pretty attached already, Wil.” His tone was light and there was no weight behind it besides deciding to annoy his twin. Wilbur rolled his eyes at Techno’s response.

“I just think it would be safer to have him live with us, Techno, that way we know that he’s safe and we don’t need to worry about where he is or if he’s eating enough,” Wilbur tried again having not gotten a proper response the first time. Techno was on the same train of thought as the newly revived man however, he knew that this was Theseus' choice and he didn’t want to force the raccoon to do something that he didn’t want because wasn’t that what pushed Tommy away? He wasn’t going to make the same mistake again. 

Theseus once he had completely destroyed the plate of food surprisingly stayed, normally the raccoon once he devoured his meal would be off like a shot but he remained in place almost as if he was aware that Wilbur and Techno were conflicted and wanted to see the outcome. Techno was certain that he was giving this raccoon more credit than he deserved. 

“We can’t, not yet,” Techno finally vocalised the thoughts fighting in his head and even when he opened his mouth he wasn’t certain if he was going to agree with his twin or if he was going to let empathy win out for once and it was his projection of this raccoon as his baby brother that won out in the end, his refusal to mess up once more, to be a good big brother even if it was to a raccoon because he could no longer towards his baby brother. 

The newly revived man’s face twisted into a frown, “What do you mean not yet?” His eyes now turned onto his twin and Techno could see the lack of light behind them. 

The piglin hybrid swallowed before speaking, “I mean not yet.” He didn’t want to confess his vulnerability to his twin and why should he? Wilbur was just as guilty as he was, if not perhaps more. His eyes narrowed at his twin who had opened his mouth away to say more but was drawn back. 

“Fine, not yet,” He agreed. 

And that was how Wilbur’s first encounter with Theseus went. 

“Then why don’t we leave?” Ranboo vocalised his thoughts, surprisingly calmly, leaning against the doorway to Tubbo’s room where the shorter burnet was pacing back and forth, a mixture of stress and anger apparent on his face. Tubbo had told Ranboo everything he’d heard from Jack Manifold and although the enderman hybrid himself was angered by what he said he had instead decided to not lash out but listen to Tubbo rant, grateful the burnet was getting his thoughts out someway. 

The goat hybrid’s head suddenly whipped around, his pacing coming to a stop as Ranboo’s question hit his ears. He wanted to protest, of course he did, as bad as the SMP was for twisting people and turning them against each other it was his home… or at least it had been his home. 

“You don’t have to answer now, just something to consider,” Ranboo added, his voice calming causing Tubbo’s shoulders to instinctively relax at the sound. His anxieties deflating just a tiny bit inside his chest and he gave the enderman hybrid a grateful smile. Not having to say a word, Ranboo knew what he meant. 

Michael giggled loudly from the next room and neither one of them could fight back their smiles despite Tommy still not speaking that hadn’t stopped the zombie piglin from attempting to pursue a friendship with the blond and it didn’t take long for Tommy to fall for it either. 

Would leaving not just be better for them but Michael too? That question plagued Tubbo’s mind. Leaving would mean that Michael could grow up away from all this, there would be no chance for him to be hurt by this server as they all had been. 

He mindlessly followed Ranboo through the living room, his mind still transfixed on Ranboo’s question that he couldn’t really acknowledge anything else that was happening around him. 

Somehow he found himself sitting on the sofa with Michael between him and Tommy and Ranboo sitting beside him using the leg rest. Truthfully he wasn’t even sure when he’d sat down but obviously he had. 

Michael was doing a drawing in his notepad, the pad pulled up to his chest as he used his knee to try and balance, causing the lines to be wavy and the zombie piglin to whine in complaint but never making an effort to move himself to make it better. Every line he did he would flash the pad upwards to let Tommy see it and beam when the blond would either give him a nod or a thumbs up in response. 

It was endearing to say the least. Tubbo wanted to embrace this moment and enjoy it, his best friend and son were bonding by all accounts this should be good news to Tubbo especially as when Tommy had first heard he had a son he’d been pretty sure that his best friend had been a little bloodthirsty about it. He couldn’t focus on that though, not when Ranboo’s question kept eating away at him. 

What was stopping them from leaving? Dream was in the prison, his power had been stripped from it so it wasn’t as if he could stop them and this server had brought them so much harm. 

His eyes landed on his best friend and before he could even catch the words in his throat, Tubbo had always been impulsive as the best for times, he blurted out, “Why did you always stay with people who hurt you?” 

The room went still. Michael who had been blabbering away something incoherent to Tommy about his drawing had even stopped, even a child managing to sense the tension growing in the room. 

The blond looked up from the picture that the zombie piglin had been showing him, his eyes meeting Tubbo’s, his expression twisted slightly to one of a plea, a question he didn’t want to answer, a question maybe he couldn’t answer. 

The burnet hadn’t realised how bad his question would sound but he also hadn’t even intended to ask it out loud to begin with. A ragged breath and a deep sigh followed suit by a quickly mumbled apology from Tubbo. It felt as though the two best friends were tiptoeing around each other lately. 

Tommy’s shoulders slumped and the teenager lightly poked Michael and gestured for him to give him a piece of paper from the notebook, the zombie piglin did so quickly and with a wide smile - still feeling the tension - offered the blond an assortment of crayons to choose from, Tommy, of course, chose the dark red. In giant childish handwriting he wrote a sentence; I don’t know, I just never felt as though I could leave. 

He then passed it over to Tubbo, slight guilt tugging at the pit of his stomach as he knew given the burnet’s dyslexia it wouldn’t be the easiest to read but the burnet strained his eyes and got to reading, it took a little longer than it would for Tommy or Ranboo but neither one complained and Ranboo simply read the note over his platonic husband’s shoulder. 

“You felt trapped,” Tubbo stated after taking in what Tommy had said and the blond nodded in agreement, his expression closing off to become almost unreadable. He didn’t like to dwell on this but it was important hence why the burnet pushed a little further, “But there’s nothing trapping you now, everyone but us thinks you’re dead.” 

Ranboo’s eyes wandered worryingly over to Michael, not certain that this is the type of conversation they should be having in front of him but the zombie piglin seemed too engrossed in his drawing again to even be paying attention right now. Tommy shrugged in response to Tubbo’s point. 

“There’s nothing keeping us here,” Tubbo whispered but Tommy and Ranboo both heard it and the longing glance across the room didn’t go unnoticed either but the enderman hybrid found he couldn’t argue - he was the one who made the suggestion in the first place after all - the only thing that could still be keeping them here was the fact that they had a home here but they could always build another, Snowchester hadn’t existed before Tubbo made it, they could rebuild. 

Tommy snatched the paper back and scribbled on the opposite side of it; We could leave. 

Big red writing and those words etching themselves on the back of the enderman hybrid’s brain, this was really happening, they were really discussing leaving the server and Ranboo felt relieved, he’d been wanting to leave ever since he’d started waking up in places that he hadn’t fallen asleep in. This server affected them negatively and he was glad that Tubbo and Tommy were seeing that now and actually acknowledging it. 

A new start for them, a new home and Michael wouldn’t be forced to repeat their history.

Ranboo couldn’t contain the smile that was forming on his face, “So, when do we start packing?”

Chapter Text

“How the fuck was the coffin empty?” Quackity snarled, he was grabbing Dream by the collar of his shirt, lifting the man off the ground which if this hadn’t been an intense situation would have been quite funny considering the major height difference. The prisoner shook his head rapidly, trying to steady his breathing as he didn’t want to show the businessman his fear knowing that it would end badly for him, “I don’t know, I can’t do anything without the body so it wasn’t me that interfered!” 

Quackity stared Dream down for a few moments, their eyes interlocked and the businessman was searching for any signs that the admin was lying but all he saw was genuine fear, that wasn’t exactly the most helpful. Sure, now he knew that Dream had nothing to do with it but that didn’t answer his question; how the fuck was the coffin empty? 

“Tubbo is the one who told everyone, right? So maybe he knows something,” Dream suggested, his fear causing him to connect any dots that he possibly could. Quackity seemed to throw this idea around in his head for a few moments before raising his foot to Dream’s stomach and kicking the prisoner back down to the ground, the masked man doubled over in pain. 

The businessman would like to believe that Dream was talking nonsense; that his dislike for Tommy and fear of getting hurt was causing him to make up illusions that couldn’t possibly be true and yet Quackity realised that the chance wasn’t exactly zero. Tubbo had been the one who went around and told everyone about Tommy’s death and nobody else, besides Ranboo of whom Quackity was pretty certain would side with Tubbo anyway, had seen the body. 

It made a little bit too much sense for the businessman’s comfort and knew that now a talk with the goat hybrid was now inevitable. He’d long since let the prisoner go and was tossing his axe around his hands contemplating; if Tommy was alive then it at least got rid of the pesty business of reviving him but it begged the question of why Tubbo had lied about Tommy’s death, especially claiming suicide of all things. 

Dream found himself wishing that Tommy had been dead, this wasn’t exactly the first time that the prisoner had wished this though, because it would mean less pain for him from the businessman and perhaps he may have even been rewarded for reviving the boy but now he was analysing every single step Quackity took with wary eyes, constantly having to tell himself to draw his eyes away from the weapon otherwise it may give the the businessman some ideas. 

“I guess I’d better start thinking about talking to Tubbo and Ranboo then,” Quackity stated, cracking the muscles in his neck - each click causing Dream to flinch. The businessman didn’t know how easy getting the pair to talk would be but, with a glance towards his axe, he knew he had some counter measures if they decided to be problematic. 

“Michael,” Ranboo shouted across from the living room, “Make sure you have everything, don’t just pack toys!” He was picking up stray pieces of paper with random sketches done by the zombie piglin and notes Tommy had written, the big red crayon letters were hard to miss. The enderman hybrid was grateful that the blond had found a method to communicate with them even if it wasn’t the easiest or rather that grateful that he was using that method to communicate with them because for the first couple of days he had only really ‘spoken’ with Michael. 

A groan from the zombie piglin caused Ranboo to stifle a chuckle as he heard a small, “Yes, dad.” Come from Michael’s bedroom in response and the enderman hybrid wondered how Michael has managed to pick up some of Tommy’s attitude without the teenager even needing to speak. 

“None of that attitude,” Tubbo scolded only half-heartedly as he came through from his room with a backpack filled to the brim with prime only knows what, he caught Ranboo staring, “You should see Tommy’s, it’s way worse.” And the enderman hybrid honestly didn’t doubt that for a second but he wondered what exactly Tommy could have packed considering most of his belongings were still at his old dirt shack - actually, perhaps they should stop there before they leave, Ranboo thought, that way Tommy could ensure he has everything that he needs and isn’t just stealing from them, not that most of the blond’s belongings weren’t stolen in the first place. 

“Should we stop by Tommy’s before we leave?” Ranboo voiced his thoughts, they’d had already discussed that they would be leaving under the cover of nightfall so there wouldn’t be much worry about being seen, the mobs would be more of the concern. 

Tubbo thought for a moment or two before nodding, “Probably a good idea, I think he’s put half our kitchen in his bag for some reason.” That made him smile though because at least he was reminded somewhat of how his best friend used to be - doing random stupid shit in order to get on their nerves and he was certain that’s what the blond was attempting.  He couldn’t wait until they were away from this server, away from the infection that seemed to rot everyone, away from the memories that caused his best friend pain, sometimes the best way to deal with a bad situation is getting out of there. 

The goat hybrid swung the backpack over his shoulder, testing its weight and ignoring the snicker that came from Ranboo as he was nearly knocked backwards. “Do you want to carry it?” He asked whilst promptly flipping the enderman hybrid off to add to his point which resulted in Ranboo simply laughing even more. 

With a small stubborn huff Tubbo spun on his heels, almost falling to the ground once again as he forgot to put down the too heavy backpack, to check on Michael’s packing process, laughing when he noticed that the zombie piglin was doing exactly what Ranboo had instructed him not to; he was only packing toys. 

Whilst the goat hybrid, still laughing, pulled things out of Michael’s bag in order to help him properly back, Tommy strolled into the living room with a bag packed to the brim with mostly kitchen supplies for some reason. He placed the bag on the ground, Ranboo decided it wasn’t worth his energy to try and convince Tommy to properly pack, and looked about ready to collapse. The enderman hybrid scanned Tommy’s face with concern and he saw the dark bags under the blond’s eyes, he hadn’t been sleeping, Ranboo wishes that he could say that he was surprised, he knew that he’d heard the teenager quietly sobbing in the middle of the night on more than one occasion. 

Sobbing had been the most noise he’d heard Tommy make since Ranboo had supposedly carried him in that night, a fact which stung the enderman hybrid because he knew that wasn’t right, his friend had once been so loud and boisterous and so full of life but now, well, Ranboo wondered if it was possible to for someone to become a ghost whilst they were still alive. 

Tommy, himself, was worried about the long journey, well he was worried about a lot of things actually, because he didn’t know how he’d fare travelling for a long stretch of time. He’d had trouble pulling himself on the couch to pack this morning, it wasn’t laziness because laziness would imply that he simply didn’t want to but the blond physically couldn’t form the energy to move his legs almost bringing himself to tears, he’d barely had the energy to stand on his own two feet, he didn’t want to think about how travelling would go and yet there was a small part of him that wanted to believe that this would be good. A form of escape even if it only lasted a small moment, just like how he’d felt falling from his cobblestone tower, craving those seconds where it felt as if he was chained by his ankles to the ground. 

He caught Ranboo staring at him and a part of him wanted to flip the enderman off as he would have in the past but the thought of accidentally angering or annoying the one who’d shown him kindness, and who he was still embarrassed about crying into, made him stop himself. His eyes wandering the wooden floor and he wondered if anyone in the house had ever slid across the tiles in their socks or if anyone took on this house after they left the server, granted it didn’t get blown up of course, would the new owners? 

“Tommy, we’re going to stop by your old house on our way tonight so you can pick up anything you’re needing whilst we’re there,” Ranboo told the blond with a kind smile and quite honestly the teenager hated the pity that he was certain he could see dancing behind the enderman hybrid’s eyes, he didn’t want Ranboo to see him as vulnerable or in need of pity, he remembered how Wilbur had called him pathetic for that. Of course, Tommy didn’t voice that opinion but nodded instead in response, letting Ranboo know that he’d heard him. 

They still had a while until nightfall which meant plenty of time to ensure all the packing was finished, Ranboo really wanted to check Tubbo’s bag as he didn’t exactly trust the burnet to have not packed an entire nuke and he wanted Tommy to relinquish their kitchen supplies too. A whine from Michael in the other room gave the impression that he wasn’t exactly happy with the packing situation; the zombie piglin complaining about how he couldn’t leave his toys behind because they were all his friends. Tommy’s expression softened and the teenager picked up his own bag and went through, gesturing to switch out with Tubbo who seemed completely content to let his best friend deal with his son who looked a few wrong comments away from a tantrum, Tubbo couldn’t exactly blame him whilst Michael was usually well behaved this was stressful and he was pretty sure the zombie piglin, despite being so young, knew there was something deeper at the root of it all. 

Regardless, he let Tommy, who armed with a few scrap pieces of paper, a bag full of kitchen supplies and a red crayon, take on the task of dealing with a child who didn’t want to leave his toys behind. 

Huffing their way across the server, Tubbo and Ranboo were both starting to wish that they’d packed a lot lighter. Michael skipped happily along, his chicken friend pecking away at his feet followed, whilst swinging his bag and Tommy seemed to have ditched the kitchen supplies judging from the lack of clinking in his bag. Tubbo wondered what exactly Tommy had done to prevent Michael from throwing a tantrum because the zombie piglin had seemed fairly happy when the time to leave came round and after both Ranboo and Tubbo had inspected Michael’s bag, seeing a good mixture of his toys and clothing, had seen that he’d followed their instructions. 

However, that question was answered when they stopped at Tommy’s dirt shack because when the blond opened up his own bag it was filled with Michael’s toys that the zombie piglin hadn’t been able to pack in his own. He gave a sheepish grin and shrugged slightly towards them and Tubbo couldn’t stop the fond smile that formed on his lips. 

Luckily, or rather worryingly, Tommy had barely anything at his dirt shack to actually pack and take with him. The place was almost completely barren and there was almost no sign that anyone had lived there. His home, if he could even really call it that, had gotten blown up so many times that Tommy had grown tired of repairing it or trying to make it homely, eventually he’d given up and a home, it’s said, reflects the nature of its owner. 

A few stray potions lay sprawled across the floor, Tommy flinched at the sight of them, he remembered downing healing potion after healing potion hoping that somehow it would heal the aching across his entire body, the pain that shot through his body to his brain like an electric shock, the pain that held his heart in a vice like grip and made breathing feel impossible unfortunately the potions had never been able to help with that pain. He recalled a small period of time where he’d grown addicted to the idea that they could, despite having no proof or evidence, and he’d kept drinking them and brewing them until Wilbur had slapped the bottle out of his hand. He’d promised to not take potions for that kind of pain anymore after that. He supposed though, having healing potions on hand for their journey may not necessarily be a bad idea. 

That was about it though. Tommy had nothing else in this place that he wanted and it wasn’t lost on him how Michael seemed scared of the dirt shack, how he’d yanked on Tubbo’s jeans, and whispered to his dad; Why are we in this creepy place , only to be hurriedly hushed by Tubbo who hoped that Tommy hadn’t overheard his son’s whisper. He couldn’t help but agree though; what were they doing in this creepy place? Tommy didn’t have anything else he wanted. 

Technically, it should have been a straight shot forward onto the beginning of their journey after a quick pit stop but unfortunately, what Tubbo hadn’t accounted for, was Tommy seeing his own grave and for the sight of his grave being dug up. 

The burnet felt as if his entire throat was on fire, swallowing hadn’t suddenly become a lot harder, the coffin seemed to have been placed back in the hole and was closed but someone had been here, the lid looser and Tubbo knew someone had seen. He waited for Tommy to panic too but the blond hadn’t even seemed to realise that the grave was dug up, his eyes transfixed on the trench coat that laid over the gravestone, as if shielding it from harm. 

Gingerly Tommy picked the trench coat off the gravestone and held it out in front of him, he couldn’t seem to care less in this moment that some had dug his grave up; that was something for Tubbo and Ranboo to worry about, he immediately recognised the jacket as being Wilbur’s. He’d seen this coat in too many of his nightmares and fondest dreams to not recognise it, his brother had left it for him. Breathing catching in his throat, the teen hadn’t even realised that he was crying until he felt the wetness on his face. A concerned Michael pulling at his sleeve wanting to check that the blond was okay, having been taught that cry wasn’t a good thing to see, but Tommy couldn’t even seem to focus on the young piglin’s concern because his brain was so fixed on the jacket. It was a little thing, simple, but Tommy knew he got like this when he was upset, his brain would pick something, didn’t matter what, and would make him focus on that and in this case it was the trench coat. 

“The void is cold,” Ranboo repeated the words that Wilbur had said whilst bestowing the coat upon the gravestone, telling Tommy the reason for the gift, the blond was always cold. He didn’t hesitate before putting the coat on after that. Ranboo was surprisingly keeping his calm whilst Tubbo was freaking out, the burnet wanting them to get moving even quicker now, he didn’t know what would happen if someone found out he lied about Tommy being dead. 

But he guessed he was away to find out as he heard the loud noise of someone clearing their throat from behind them and there was no way that they didn’t see Tommy. 

Chapter Text

Purpled did not want to be roped into this. 

The teen had only wanted to visit Tommy’s grave, his hands tightly grasped around a gapple and a small bouquet of flowers that he’d been planning on leaving for the blond. Purpled had simply wanted to share a few quiet words; he hadn’t been at the funeral after all. 

Purpled had been at Hypixel, another server for championships and games - not for the light of heart, when he’d received the news about Tommy; a message from Punz, he’d been surprised how upset the mercenary had been by the news but perhaps, Purpled thought, Punz blames himself in a way, being such close friends with Dream who, it was no secret, had plagued Tommy since he’d first got the discs on the server. 

See, the teen mostly kept to himself on the server, having more close friends in Hypixel then he did here, he mostly spoke with Punz and Ponk, that being said Tommy was an old friend of Purpled’s; he remembered fondly chasing the spitfire blond down when he’d destroyed Tubbo’s house and then Wilbur had shown up and somehow managed to convince Tubbo that it was his fault, that day had been a mess but it had all been in relatively good fun despite the rivals act that the teen kept up. 

He had been told that Tommy was dead, his old friend was gone, and sure, he’d bumped into Quackity earlier today as he’d just gotten back and the leader of Las Nevadas, Purpled’s new home he guessed, had grabbed him tightly by the shoulders and told him about Tommy’s empty coffin but of course the teen had thought that Quackity simply hadn’t wanted to accept that the blond, they’d all thought was incapable of dying, was actually gone. 

Perhaps Quackity hadn’t been stricken with grief though because Purpled was convinced that he saw Tommy standing in front of his own grave accompanied by Tubbo, Ranboo and a small zombie piglin, he decided not to question that, it took a heavy shake of Purpled’s head and he debated even going as far as to pinch himself to check this was reality. 

Of course, the teen could have simply moved on and pretended that he hadn’t seen anything and try to repress the memory until it was gone and quite honestly to Purpled that sounded like a good idea, unfortunately, his feet seemed to have a different idea as they started unwillingly moving towards the group and Purpled felt himself clear his throat behind them to attract their attention without even realising it. 

Tubbo’s head whipped around almost immediately and Purpled truthfully thought that the goat hybrid was going to try and attack him. It wasn’t that he was worried about the goat hybrid beating him, Purpled was one of the best PVPers on the server but he didn’t exactly want to fight Tubbo either. 

“You’re alive,” Purpled didn’t say anything to Tubbo and instead spoke directly to Tommy instead, pulling the teenager out of whatever trance he had been in, his eyes looked Purpled over and the alien almost felt as if he was staring at a ghost. 

His feet betrayed him and he almost jumped on top of the blond, Purpled hadn’t even registered how relieved and happy he was to see Tommy until he embraced him and the alien wasn’t one for physical contact either but he almost dropped the gifts that he was bringing to Tommy’s grave. 

Tommy hesitated for a moment, not seeming sure how to react but eventually he hugged Purpled back. 

Something felt off though, Purpled was certain of that simply judging by Tommy’s reactions, he had expected a swear when he’d practically tackled into him a hug yet there’d been nothing. 

He took a few steps back and analysed between the four; what went wrong? 

“Uh, these are for you,” The alien awkwardly shuffled the items that he’d been holding around and offered them to Tommy, ignoring the slight embarrassment, he didn’t like showing that beneath the rival act he did see Tommy as a friend. 

Gingerly the blond took the items and a grateful smile formed on his lips and the light shining his eyes when he saw the gapple didn’t go amiss, especially towards Ranboo and Tubbo, Michael was quite happily in his own little world. He nodded towards Purpled and went to get something out of his backpack however decided against it, instead putting the items in his inventory. 

That’s what was weird, Purpled finally placed it, Tommy’s silence. The rebellious spitfire teenager normally so loud, his voice could wake an entire village up if he laughed loud enough, that had definitely gotten them into trouble a few times. That’s why it was unusual to see Tommy so quiet. 

What had hurt the boy so much that he refused to utter a word? 

The alien thought back to what Quackity had said; he’d dug up Tommy’s grave, he’d dig up the grave of a person he called his friend, Quackity blowing up his own UFO - his home and he realised how shitty this server was. Of course, he’d already known that with how often he travelled between it and Hypixel. He found himself understanding Tommy’s attempts at escape, although he believed it went deeper than him faking his death. 

The backpacks made it clear that they weren’t out of a family stroll, Purpled could tell they were planning on leaving, there wasn’t much that he could do besides point them in the right direction. 

As far as the alien knew he was the only person who moves between servers, at least as frequently, and the exits could be tricky to find, a few days travel at least and near impossible if one didn’t know the way. He couldn’t be their tour guided, he didn’t want to get that wrapped up in this but what little he could do was help. 

He began speaking to Tubbo; asking the goat hybrid where exactly he thought the route was and helping adjust and alter the route accordingly, helping them locate the nearest exit to the server that he was aware of. From one world to the next. Perhaps Hypixel could be their next, that way Purpled knew he could see them again but the suggestion fell dead on his tongue. 

Ranboo was listening and made notes on their map, trusting that Purpled was telling the truth. Michael was by Tommy’s side now, holding the blond’s hand as the teenager seemed a million miles away lost in his own thoughts, his free hand hugging the coat of Wilbur tightly around him. Purpled kept sparing a glance in his direction as if constantly wanting to remind himself that the teenager was alive. 

Eventually the routes were adjusted and Tubbo thanked Purpled, the alien saying to use his communicator to message him if they needed anything but to keep discreet when involving Tommy in case anyone was listening in. 

“I promise I won’t tell anyone either,” Purpled told them as they got ready to set off, a determination blazing behind his eyes as he thought about Quackity. 

He gave Tommy one final hug, the blond melting into the embrace of an old friend, “Don’t go dying on me,” He whispered, having to be grateful with the nod he could in response. He could only hope Tommy would have a chance to heal away from this server, maybe the next they met he would see the same teenager who ran into trouble with a second thought, a voice so loud it could move buildings (and hearts) and an endearing charm would somehow resulted in his enemies siding with him, at least for a moment. 

Waving them off Purpled intended to keep his promise, he wouldn’t tell anyone and he certainly wouldn’t let Quackity find out, truthfully he feared the thought of the businessman finding out, he’d already proven how far he was willing to go after all. 

Yeah, Purpled really hadn’t wanted to get roped into this. 

Phil shelved away another planned design for a build, his underwater empire, as he saw the moon rise high in the sky. He’d really been drawing up designs all day? 

Truthfully, he’d lost count of the days since the news about Tommy, he’d stopped bothering only paying attention to night and day, grief did crazy things to a person.

Yet he was getting more work done than normal and that was definitely an accomplishment, right? 

At least Techno seemed to have something exciting going on, he’d listened to his warrior son’s stories about this raccoon - which later he learnt had been dubbed Theseus - and that brought him a good form of entertainment. He enjoyed hearing Techno’s elaborate traps to try and catch the creature but it always managed to escape, more recently though he had noticed a softness and Techno trying to feed it instead. Wilbur seemed to getting involved now too and Phil was happy they were both distracting themselves, nobody in their family seemed to the best at dealing with emotions. 

Phil was away to turn in for the night when a crow landed on his window, he hushed it quickly fearing its squawk would waken Techno and Wilbur who he was pretty sure he’d heard go to bed not too long ago. 

“Outside, outside!” The crow chirped happily although not too loudly, Phil raised an eyebrow at the creature and stared out into the tundra and for a second saw nothing, ready to scowl at the crow until a flurry of snow revealed her standing there and Phil knew that he had to go. 

He was careful with his footsteps, avoiding all the known creaky boards, extra careful as to not wake the sleeping boys. He took a short breath, if she was here then he knew this most likely wasn’t going to be a pleasant conversation. 

Don’t misunderstand, he was happy to see her but given the circumstances he knew that it wasn’t going to end well. 

Of course it was nightfall too when she showed up, Phil knew that she couldn’t go out during the day as the sunlight harmed her, it was why she wore a veil at all times to try and somewhat protect herself. 

He pulled on his cloak to protect himself from the cold and stepped out, stretching his wings slightly letting the cold wind blow through and ruffle his feathers. He hadn’t been outside in what must have been weeks. 

His relaxation, however, was short-lived. Death’s gaze was, well, deathly. Her arms crossed and tapping her foot, Phil knew that she was angry. 

He very rarely saw her angry too, Death was surprisingly very calm but not right now. 

“Kristen,” He greeted, despite knowing that she was angry he couldn’t hide the fact that he was incredibly happy to see her, his love, he hadn’t seen her in so long, he only wished it was under better circumstances. 

Death frowned, “How could you let it get that bad?” Her tone gave away vulnerability, she didn’t bother with formalities cutting straight to the chase, a goddess showing mortal emotions. Phil felt his guilt increase tenfold. 

Phil thought about what he could say to defend himself, that it wasn’t his fault, that Tommy had betrayed one of his children so he played favourites. He couldn’t answer her question yet was certain that a simple apology wouldn’t suffice either. 

Her grief, Phil could feel radiating from her, Death was mourning. Phil realises just how much of an impact his son had; even Death was mourning for him. 

The angel of death frowned, his wings nervously moving, he couldn’t formulate the words to say, what does a parent say when their kid dies. No parent should have to bury their own child, perhaps that was a selfish thought, he would have preferred to have burdened Tommy with his own death. 

“I didn’t notice,” Phil finally answered and he supposed that it was true, he hadn’t been around to notice just how bad Tommy had gotten, the only time he’d seen was when the teenager had been in exile, back then he’d found it funny the same as Techno but now thinking on it he realised that been a mistake, and when Tommy had joined the Arctic Empire. He’d chosen sides with his own children, he’d blown up Tommy’s home once again, he didn’t think about how that could impact him. 

Death sighed, there was so much she wanted to say but she wasn’t allowed to meddle in human affairs and she knew that XD would be angry if he even knew that she was here, “Pay attention to those you love and eventually you’ll be led to where you need to be.” 

Cryptic enough that if XD found out she’d spoken to Phil then he couldn’t be angry because she hadn’t given him a direct answer. Merely something for him to decode.

Phil screwed up his face in confusion at her words, wanting to question his love more but he knew that she couldn’t stay long, she never could. 

“Tell Tommy I’m sorry,” Phil requested, his eyes trained on the ground, he didn’t dare look Death in the eyes after such a request, he’d done that when they first had met for an old friend of his and Death had immediately taught him how that was a bad idea. 

“Hopefully you’ll be able to tell him yourself,” Death mused under her breath, only just low enough for Phil to not hear it, she hoped Phil could make things right and hopefully her words could set him in the right direction. 

She knew, of course, that Phil wasn’t a bad man but perhaps as a father he hadn’t been very present but who was she to comment on that, very different situations of course but somehow that never prevented guilt. 

“My love,” Death cupped Phil’s face, despite being angry at him for his actions she couldn’t leave without a form of affection, “The time will come for you to begin to right your wrongs, all I ask is for you to try.” 

Her embrace was warm, it felt like home to Phil but it was over too soon as Death vanished with a flash of black and silver leaving the man with more questions than answers. He would’ve hoped for more time but didn’t everyone? 

Her few words already making the gears turn in his head and that one question burned into his skull; How could you let it get that bad? 

Even if he closed his eyes he was certain that he would see the words tattooed to his eyelids. They plagued his mind as he wandered back to his home away to go back to the warmth when he heard a rustle from the bins, a noise he’d had explained to him too many times. 

Theseus, he thought, already fond despite having never met the creature. He crouched down slowly, trying his hardest to make himself smaller so as to appear as less of a threat to the raccoon and shimmed himself across the icy ground, grateful for no one else being awake to see his display. 

“It’s okay, mate,” His voice gentle, he stuck a hand out in the general direction of the raccoon’s hiding spot. He knew that Techno and Wilbur had both been leaving food out of the creature but old habits die hard, he knew that Tommy had still stolen despite being given items.

Slowly he saw a head stick around and big black eyes staring at him, Phil bit back an aww at the creature, he understood how Techno had fallen for this raccoon. Theseus’s head darted from side to side, clearly searching for traps having not met this member of the household before. 

However, Theseus seemed to warm back rather quickly, having no reason to distrust this member of the house due to the others but Phil was certain that he could see a displeased look on his face and he was almost convinced he heard; Didn’t you bring me food, bitch? 

A chuckle left Phil’s lips, raw and almost causing him to cough. He wondered how long it had been since he’d properly laughed, most likely one of Techno’s stories about the raccoon but he couldn’t be certain. he was aware that he probably sounded very stupid speaking to Theseus but that didn’t stop him, “Come in then, mate, I’ll give you food.” 

He knew that neither Techno nor Wilbur had gotten Theseus into the house yet but he wasn’t even sure if they’d actually attempted to do so yet. Slowly he got to his feet and began to walk up the poarch, it took Theseus such a time to react that Phil wasn’t entirely unconvinced that he was going to have to prepare food to bring out. 

However, after a few seconds Theseus went down on all fours and scurried behind Phil into the safe confines of Techno’s retirement home. 

Chapter Text

Michael swung off of Tommy’s arm, humming to himself happily, quite honestly he wanted to play with his toys but his parents had already warned him in advance that they were going to be travelling for quite a while without breaking. His feet were getting tired but he kept that same happy smile plastered to his face, he didn’t quite understand why they’d left their home but on to a new adventure. 

The teenager who had previously been holding his hand let go, Michael was away to complain until soundlessly he knelt down and scooped the zombie piglin up resting the kid on his shoulders. The ghost of a smile present on his lips when Michael squealed in delight. 

Tubbo nudged Ranboo and gestured, the sight was sweet and after everything that had happened over the past few weeks they definitely deserved to favour the sweetness. Ranboo smiled at the sight, letting his gaze linger for a few moments before turning his attention back to the map that had been edited via Purpled’s directions. 

Leaving Ranboo on map reading duty Tubbo snuck up to Tommy, the teenager seemed lost in his thoughts but that was normal at this point, but he didn’t say a word instead slipped his hand into Tommy’s similar to how they used to when they’d first joined the server, before everyone went so wrong. 

“I’m sorry,” Tubbo murmured as he squeezed Tommy’s hand, if they were travelling together then he wanted as little bad blood as possible especially considering that the blond was his best friend, “For yelling at you back at the house, for getting mad at you recently. I care about you, Tommy, I want you to be able to speak to me.” 

The blond’s mind was travelling at lightspeed, Tubbo’s words spiralling in his head and quite frankly it was all too much, he was grateful for the apology but a part of him felt guilty then Tubbo had to give it. 

The burnet squeezed his hand again and Tommy came crashing down, feeling himself hit the ground that he never did when he jumped from the tower, he hadn’t realised that his breathing had quicken and that he was clearly panicked, he raised his hand to chest and scratched at his top trying to get the air flowing normally again. He didn’t know why Tubbo’s words had upset him; surely an apology should have been what he wanted, right?

Then why was he being selfish and not accepting it? Should he apologise to Tubbo? He wanted to say something, anything, but the words kept dying at the back of his throat, what could he say anyway? 

“Tommy!” Tubbo shouted, shattering through the spiralling words and thoughts, forcing him back into his surroundings. The cold air blew through him and he had to stop himself from chattering his teeth, Michael was still resting on his shoulders but luckily the zombie piglin seemed to be currently taking a nap on the top of Tommy's head, he didn’t want Michael to end up roped into this all. The kid was too young. 

He felt the burnet squeeze his hand tightly and with something almost akin to protectiveness, his spare hand resting on the blond’s shoulder forcing Tommy to face him. “Breath with me, bossman.” Tubbo was slow and patient with him, the burnet used to having his own attacks and helping Ranboo with his, the frantic waves of breaths dying down and becoming rhymetic once more. Tommy felt his head freeing from the weight threatening to crush him, the vice-like hold seeming to loose up, he stopped rapidly clawing at his chest with desperation. 

The guilt, of course, never left but Tommy was no longer mere seconds from breaking down, he’d already done it once in front of Ranboo and wasn’t exactly keen on the idea of doing it again. Tubbo didn’t leave Tommy’s side and nor did he pressure him to keep walking forward when he knew the blond wasn’t capable. Ranboo didn’t either, he continued to read the map but his occasional worried glances over didn’t go amiss. 

“We should rest here,” Ranboo spoke up, saying exactly what Tubbo had been thinking, they’d made decent headway on their journey and he wanted Tommy to be able to take a break from walking for a while having a feeling that they may have already overwhelmed him a little too much. Tommy wanted to make some form of protest, not wanting them to have to stop because of him but Tubbo was already agreeing with Ranboo and throwing his sleeping bag down on the ground, tossing Ranboo’s one from the bag directly into the enderman hybrid’s face. 

The enderman hybrid gently removed Michael from his sleeping place on Tommy’s head being cautious not to wake the zombie piglin up and settling Michael down in the kid’s sleeping bag. It had barely taken anytime to set up a makeshift camp, leaving a few stray torches around the place to put off mobs. 

With that Tubbo and Ranboo both settled into their sleeping bags, Tommy sitting on top of his not wanting to sleep just yet, he was both mentally and physically exhausted but he knew that sleep wouldn’t come even if he tried, he could only hope at this point that he would end up passing out to sleep despite knowing how unhealthy that is. 

He curled his legs up to his chest and listened to the noise of the world, he didn’t realise how much time had passed until he heard Tubbo snoring, he gazed over and saw his best friend fast asleep. 

But what he hadn’t expected to see was Ranboo slowly starting to get up, he looked at the enderman hybrid tilting his head to the side in confusion, when the enderman hybrid turned to look at him Tommy saw those same glowing purple eyes from his attempt. 

Naturally he probably should be a little more freaked out then he was but Tommy recalled how Ranboo had comforted him and any amount of fear he had evaporated in an instant, the enderman hybrid speaking in a scratchy ender that Tommy couldn’t understand gestured for him to follow. Tommy knowing that at this point he probably wasn’t going to get any sleep decided that he may as well, slowly he rose to his feet and tiptoed past the sleeping Michael and Tubbo. 

He didn’t understand how Ranboo seemed to know where he was going, it was pitch black and Tommy had to strain his eyes to even get close to seeing a few inches in front of his face, Ranboo’s purple particles illuminating around him slightly which meant at the very least the blond could always see where the hybrid was. 

Ranboo stopped suddenly and Tommy almost walked right into his back, the enderman responding in that same scratchy ender, You’re the one who stopped without warning, Tommy thought. 

He was grateful that he hadn’t walked directly into Ranboo though because in front of them was a very big cliff drop, Tommy couldn’t help but wonder if the enderman hybrid was thinking about pushing him off of it but that didn’t seem to be his goal as Ranboo sat down on the ground instead.

Hesitantly Tommy sat down next to Ranboo, the enderman hybrid digging away at the ground until he managed to get a grass block, he pushed the block into Tommy’s arms. The teenager couldn’t explain why he felt tears prick and threatened to fall over a grass block, he wrapped his arms around it and held it as if it was the most important item in the world. 

Instead of the same scratchy ender, this time Tommy was certain that he heard a purr come from the enderman hybrid as Tommy accepted his gift. He couldn’t stop the grin that formed on his lips as he looked at one of his best friend’s, wide purple eyes dilated watching Tommy hold the grass block, but the teenager was careful to avoid looking Ranboo in the eyes. 

He fell backwards, silver stars twinkling against the black sheet of sky, he found himself trying to count how many there were. His arms still securely wrapped around the block, the slight weight on his chest weirdly providing him with a comfort that he couldn’t explain. He didn’t even realise his eyes eventually beginning to dip nor did he feel the enderman hybrid pick him up and carry him back to their makeshift camp. 

A purr of satisfaction as he placed the sleeping teenager gently down on his sleeping bag, watching Tommy roll onto his side and cuddle the grass block close to his chest, slightly drooling on to it. 

The rest of his family was sleeping soundly too, dead to the world, and Ranboo sat down on his sleeping bag and sat on guard protectively, daring anyone to try and come near them. 

Wilbur wasn’t overly impressed with being woken up in the middle of the night. The newly revived man already found it hard to sleep as it was so one of the little times he managed to actually get some sleep he was rudely awoken by crashing and banging and a hushed voice. 

Throwing his arms up in the air dramatically, he decided that he wasn’t going to be able to fall back asleep so he may as well just get up. Getting to his feet Wilbur decided to go and see the source of the noise although he recognised the hushed voice as being Phil’s which meant he would have to tiptoe past Techno’s room in order to ensure he didn’t wake the piglin hybrid up - his sleep schedule was even worse than Wilbur’s but at least the revived man knew he was asleep right now, hearing the snoring through the thin walls. 

The sight Wilbur saw when he reached the kitchen made the revived man double take. Phil was cooking like a mad man in the kitchen and Wilbur saw the dinner guest, sitting at the end of their table was Theseus, and Wilbur could swear he heard; What the fuck are you looking at? 

He sent Theseus a halfhearted glare, more finding the sight amusing than anything else, “So you’ll make dinner for a raccoon in the middle of the night but you won’t when your own kids ask?” Wilbur asked, leaning on the table causing Phil to shoo his elbows off the dining table because it was rude. 

Seriously, his elbows were rude, a literal raccoon was sitting on the table. 

Theseus, Wilbur was pretty sure, was mocking him as he watched the raccoon whilst going for the plate of food placed in front of him very deliberately place his elbows on the table, looking Wilbur right in the eye. He was almost certain he even saw the creature stick his tongue out at him. Techno was right, this raccoon was smart and he was also a little shit. 

“Fuck you, Theseus,” He murmured under his breath childishly, directly at the raccoon, Phil, however, did overhear the comment and started howling with laughter. 

Deciding to ignore the creature that he was pretty sure was trying to taunt him now, Wilbur went to speak with Phil, “It’s good to see you out of your room.” He hadn’t meant for the statement to sound as bitter as it came out, truly he hadn’t, Phil had been hoarded up in his room and Wilbur had barely seen him since they’d had the news about Tommy, not that Wilbur could make any comments anyways he was barely at the house himself. 

Phil, regardless of Wilbur’s intentions, had flinched at the bitterness coming from his son, this wasn’t the first time that he’d closed himself off from the people that needed him due to a death. He remembered how much Tommy had tried to reconnect with him after Wilbur’s death, despite how much the teenager must have been hurting, he instead had put his dad's feelings above his own and he’d tried to make Phil proud. Phil had never told Tommy he was proud. 

“I’m sorry, Wil,” He thought about Death’s words; pay attention to those you love, he hadn’t been doing that enough, maybe he never had. 

Wilbur laughed, it came out as a harsh and scratchy noise, “What a pair are we? It takes us losing Tommy to realise how much we’ve fucked up.” His voice went quieter at the end of his sentence, guilt laced through the tone that Phil quite frankly was shocked by that.

Theseus, seeming to notice the growing tension, picked up an apple slice that was on the giant plate of food that Phil had given him and threw it at the revived man’s head. Phil barely able to stop himself from doubling over laughing as the slice got stuck in his hair. 

Slowly and precisely Wilbur reached up and took the apple slice out of his hair, he stared at it momentarily before whipping his head around to stare at the raccoon and in a moment of brilliance threw it back. 

The raccoon didn’t seem to appreciate this and was willing to start a full blown food fight with Wilbur, the only problem being that Theseus definitely had more food on his side. Wilbur was certain that he could hear the raccoon calling him a bitch as he pelted him with apple slices. 

The newly revived man eventually came to the realisation that in a fair fight he wasn’t going to win so instead he lunged forward, getting another apple slice in his air whilst he did so, scooping the creature into his arms and holding the wrestling animal close to his chest, taking both of them tumbling to the ground. 

He landed with Theseus on top of him as to not accidentally hurt the raccoon, he held the creature up in the air who was hissing but not aggressively, more annoyed than anything. You’re a bitch! You’re a bitch! 

“That’s enough, boys,” Phil managed to get out through his laughter as he made Wilbur and Theseus stop fighting each other but oddly felt a familiar warmth tugging at his heart as he watched the two bond. 

Immediately the two pulled apart and even Theseus was staring at Phil, although he was very clearly playing innocent, his head tilted to the side, eyes big and hands held close to his chest. Phil shook his head but was still chuckling lightly. 

“How’d you even get him inside?” Wilbur asked as he helped lift Theseus back up onto the table, he remembered his discussion with Techno and he was wanting to take Theseus but the piglin hybrid had said to let the raccoon choose himself. 

“I offered him to come in for food,” Phil answered causally, he’d definitely gone a little wild on making the food though. 

Wilbur chuckled, “Techno might be jealous that he wasn’t the one to get Theseus inside.” 

Theseus had gone back to munching on the remaining food that he hadn’t thrown at Wilbur, the revived man couldn’t help the smile that crept onto his lips. He reached out and scratched the back of the raccoon’s neck causing a purr to leave the creature as he happily munched away. 

Phil couldn’t help but think whilst watching Wilbur and Theseus bonding reminded him of back when the family lived together before joining the server, how Phil or Techno would get roped into making food at midnight because Tommy had convinced Wilbur to get a midnight snack with him but neither of them could cook. 

When their family wasn’t broken. Phil hadn’t realised how much he’d missed being a dad until now, he remembered when he first found Tommy, mDeath had been holding this toddler that she’d found wandering lost without any family to link back too and immediately she’d found the child endearing, scooping him up in her arms she brought him to Phil for him to adopt; knowing that she couldn’t take Tommy with her.

He remembered those wide blue eyes looking up at him with admiration and wonder; transfixed on his wings. He missed that probably most of all, when his youngest was still amazed by the world around him, the last few times Phil had seen him Tommy had lost that light. 

“I miss him too,” Wilbur suddenly said, putting a hand on Phil’s shoulder and the elder realised how he must have looked for his son to put two and two together so quickly. 

A beat of silence between them. “You know, you and Techno can talk to me about anything, I don’t want to risk this happening again.” 

Wilbur chuckled and patted his shoulder, “Alright, old man.” 

Phil didn’t know how to respond to that because it didn’t sound as if Wilbur believed him and quite frankly could Phil blame him? Probably not. 

Death’s words are really what got to him but somewhat he was grateful for it, Phil was beginning to take note of everything around him. He remembered Tommy’s suicide note; the teenager apologising that he never quite managed to make his dad proud because yes, Phil did read it eventually. 

But Phil had always been proud, he had just never said it, Tommy had needed reassurance and Phil had never given it. He’d played favourites and made the teenager believe that he loved his biological children more and that wasn’t true; Phil didn’t have a favourite, not really but he realised the way he acted was wrong. What could he do now though? 

Theseus had scurried across the table, placing a grubby hand on top of Phil’s almost as if sensing that the elder was upset. A short purr leaving the creature. 

‘Pay attention to those you love and eventually you’ll be led to where you need to be’ 

He could only hope Death’s words would eventually reveal their meaning. For now Phil would do what he could; pay attention to those he loves and the rest could be revealed in time. 

Chapter Text

Tommy was the first awake and was more than a little surprised to find himself back in his sleeping bag, he wondered momentarily if his walk with Ranboo the night before had simply been a dream but the grass block propped up against his chest was proof enough otherwise. 

He saw the enderman hybrid had actually managed to fall asleep sitting up and Tommy smiled slightly at the weirdly endearing sight, Tubbo’s sight was slightly less endearing as the goat hybrid was sprawled out across his sleeping bag with his face practically eating dirt. 

He knew Tubbo was to complain about having a mouthful of dirt when he woke up. With a roll of his eyes, Tommy rested his arms on top of the grass block and looked around him. 

The torches had been blown out in the night but the sun was starting to rise above them so Tommy wasn’t worried about them being attacked by anything, he squinted his eyes to avoid staring directly into the sun, knowing that wasn’t exactly a good idea. 

His legs felt heavy, he didn’t feel as if he could move them, a long exhale of air passed by his lips. Tommy wanted to move, force himself up but it always took him ages in the morning, it’s why he woke up early, that and his body’s clock was more than a little fucked. 

Blinking the sleep away from his eyes, the teenager struggled to force himself out of bed, straining himself so hard to try and gain the energy that he almost hurt himself. He felt pathetic, it shouldn’t take him this much to simply get up but this had become his normal. 

He heard a groan come from the goat hybrid who lifted his head and started spitting out dirt, “Morning,” He yawned upon seeing Tommy awake, he didn’t expect much of answer from the blond so smiled when the teenager gave him a wave. 

Tubbo sat up in his sleeping bag, pulling the bag close to him in order to preserve warmth, and Tommy was reminded rather fondly of the sleepovers they’d used to have as kids. The burnet seemed to have the same reminiscent smile on his face as he wrapped his arms around his knees holding them close to his chest, the bag bunching up around him. 

“Besides waking up with a mouth full of dirt-“ Tubbo cut himself off with a yawn and ran his hand through his hair, ruffling it slightly, “-It wasn’t actually a bad sleep.” 

Tommy’s eyes lingered on his notepad sticking out of his backpack, for a second he considered mentioning his walk with Ranboo the night before, curious if Tubbo knew anything about this enderman state of Ranboo but in the end he swallowed down the thought, it reminded him too much of the night he jumped.  

Instead he shook his head at Tubbo’s complaints about the dirt, pulling his notepad from his backpack and balancing it on top of the dirt block to write; That’s your own fault. He flashed the words up to Tubbo whose eyes read over them a few times to ensure he’d gotten it before flipping Tommy off in response. 

The teenager stuck his tongue out at his best friend and grinned, Tubbo’s grin matching his own. In moments like these they could pretend that nothing had happened between them, that their friendship hadn’t fractured and that they didn’t carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, they could just be kids, was that really too much to ask? 

Both, Tommy and Tubbo, knew that eventually they were going to end up having to have a long and painful conversation but neither of them were ready yet, neither of them wanted to yet. That was the issue with trying to heal, to begin one has to learn to talk about what caused the need to heal. Tubbo didn’t even realise that he was moving until he plopped his sleeping bag down next to Tommy, luckily not waking Michael or Ranboo, and placing a hand on top of his best friend’s. 

“Do you remember when we used to beg Phil to let me stay the night?” Tubbo asked his best friend with a wistful smile on his face, “We used to ask him nearly every night.” 

Tommy nodded but his smile mirrored the one apparent on Tubbo’s face, he did remember, Phil would nearly always relent and let Tubbo stay, it only took puppy-eyes from both of them for the elder to be convinced. 

They could pretend that things hadn’t changed from those days, that they weren’t reminiscing to try and remember the good times but instead were speaking fondly of the events from a few days prior. That time hadn’t passed, that exile hadn’t happened, that none of the events that had drawn them away from each other had happened but instead they were kids again camping after Tommy had to plead Phil to let him and argue with an overprotective Wilbur not to come whilst Techno attempted to give survival tips; when life was good. 

“Techno used to get so annoyed at how loud we were,” Tubbo chuckled, “He would send Wil through to deal with us, do you remember?” 

And then Wil would just join in instead, Tommy wrote, his older brother would come in and swing his arm around Tommy, ruffle his hair and tell them about how annoyed Techno was before immediately creating more noise than the two of them combined. 

They’d only quiet down when Techno himself came through but that never lasted long, Tommy would tackle the piglin hybrid, attempting to knock him to the ground but the blond had always been scrawny. Tubbo would swing his legs off Tommy’s bed and watch the brothers fight with a content smile on his face occasionally getting pulled into the fight by Tommy who’d be desperate for backup. 

A defeated sigh pasted Tubbo’s lips, “What happened to us, Tommy?” He knew that the teenager wasn’t going to answer, he wasn’t even sure if he wanted an answer honestly, throwing the words out into the world because he felt the need to emphasis them, to have them out in the universe because they were too big for him to keep at the back of his throat. 

Squeezing the teenager’s hand, Tubbo sighed as his eyes wandered over to Ranboo and Michael who were both still sleeping soundly, the burnet had never expected to have something that he was so scared to lose but this was his family, they were worth more to him than this server had ever been. 

“Hey, Toms, were the discs really worth more than me?” Tubbo couldn’t help but ask, he remembered the angry words from the green festival but the contradiction of those words during their final battle with Dream had felt his head spinning, he believed that actions speak louder than words but perhaps that was due to Tubbo not liking to speak about his emotions or being given empty promises. 

Tommy froze up at his best friend’s words, his own head spinning, regret tugging at the pit of his stomach, he had to shake his head for a moment to clear the spirals. He would answer this one. Grasping the red crayon with his freehand as if it was a life line, Tommy wrote one word: No. 

The discs held sentiment value and they were important to Tommy, they’d been his one constant since he joined the server, but the discs meant nothing without the people they represented, the people that he cared about and the memories they held. Tommy, in the end, would always give the items up for the people he cared about; Tubbo, L’Manburg and… Wilbur. 

He didn’t want to think about his brother, not in relation to his discs, because all that came to the front of his mind, a migraine forming at the side of his forehead, was him lying in bed and staring at that ceiling and his brother parading in making comment after comment about how Tommy should be happy now that he has his discs. Wilbur hadn’t been the same since he’d been revived… truthfully, Wilbur hadn’t been the same since he joined the server, he’d lost the brother who would hug him close whilst a storm was brewing outside and sing softly to him in order to distract him. 

Tubbo seemed to notice Tommy starting to space out again and squeezed the blond’s hand tightly, yanking him back to reality, bringing him back from the edge. “I just needed to know,” He murmured, grateful for an answer. 

The sun hung high above their heads now, a sign that they should wake the others up and get a move on. If they moved quickly then they could hopefully making a good pace before anyone other than Purpled caught on to their plans to leaving the server or, of course, if someone figured out about Tommy. 

It was surprisingly easy to wake up Ranboo and Michael, the zombie piglin was immediately on his feet, jumping around excitedly for the journey ahead. Ranboo meanwhile was straining his back confused as to how he fell asleep sitting up, glancing at the grass block still propped up against Tommy’s chest. He decided not to say anything. 

The sleeping bags were rolled up and put away, slightly sloppily because it was always easier to get a sleeping bag out than it was to put it back in. Michael was at least trying to help but struggling to the point where Ranboo stepped in, Tubbo tried to but he was also struggling, Tommy had just crammed his into his bag so that his struggle couldn’t be seen. 

Ranboo was reading the map to check which direction that they should be heading and a frown became apparent on his lips, he put the map under Tubbo’s nose to let the goat hybrid read what he’d noticed and the burnet returned the frown. 

Whispers were exchanged between the two, Michael too lost in his own little world to notice, concern visible. Tommy could practically see the gears turning in their heads and curiosity ebbed away at him, accompanied with a fear that they were whispering about him, he remembered too many encounters in Pogtopia with hushed tones between Wilbur and Techno. 

“Uh, Tommy,” Ranboo started awkwardly, his eyes avoiding looking at Tommy but that was normal for the enderman hybrid anyway, “We’re going to have to travel through Logstedshire.” 

Tommy’s entire world felt as if it was crumbling in that moment, he was going to have to travel through Logstedshire, he hadn’t been there since the jump and even that push had been hard. The memories of exile swimming in front of him and Tommy felt as though he was drowning in it, barely able to get his head over the water. 

It looked like that uncomfortable conversation was going to come a lot earlier than Tommy wanted. 

Techno grumbled and pulled his blanket over his head and he heard the noise of someone rummaging through his chests. He wanted a lie-in today, he didn’t really know why but he felt as if he deserved one, he hadn’t slept well since Tommy’s passing. Well, he’d never really slept well but it had gotten worse. 

He put a hand up to his forehead and groaned as the rummaging simply got louder and more chaotic. He could practically see the hands grabbing items out of his chest. 

“Tommy, leave my stuff alone,” Techno complained, he’d always complain whenever Tommy went through his belongings, the teenager had no regard for personal belongings or privacy. Despite complaining, Techno would never have the heart to take the item away from the teenager. The piglin hybrid frowned as the rummaging didn’t stop and in fact got louder again, okay, he knew that was on purpose, it had to be. 

Rolling out of bed, the piglin hybrid prepared himself to yell at his baby brother for waking him up. Still sleep deprived, his mind weakened by having only just awoken, he didn’t connect the dots quick enough until he saw on the floor racking through his chests and inspecting the items in his grubby paws was Theseus. 

The raccoon frozen in place with Techno’s crown gripped tightly between his fingers and the piglin hybrid was certain that the creature was holding his breath. Techno’s heart pounded in his chest, the chat in his head screaming, a horrid reminder of a fact that he already knew; his baby brother was dead. 

He crouched down next to Theseus as slowly as he could, not wanting to appear threatening to the small creature, he knew they’d formed a bond but he wasn’t sure how easy it was to shatter. The piglin hybrid rested a hand on the creature’s head, his hand giant in comparison and he remembered holding the sleeping toddler in his hands when Phil had first brought Tommy home, declaring the snoozing blond his new baby brother, Techno hadn’t been too much older himself but Tommy had always been tiny. 

Too tiny, that’s why Techno had always called Tommy his baby brother despite him being seventeen, he was still a baby compared to him and Wilbur. He’d been too young, those bright blue eyes which had been so full of life has dulled too soon. 

“What have you got there?” He asked in a soft voice, a tone only reserved for family, vulnerable for once in his life. Theseus’ titled his head to the side, curiosity filling those beady eyes as he looked at Techno as if needing a second to gesture the question. Techno felt stupid for thinking that the raccoon would understand him and to add to it he still didn’t know how Theseus had ended up inside. 

But just as the piglin hybrid was away to shake his head and stand up, pretending that he’d never shown that much vulnerability to an animal, Theseus’ grip on the crown relaxed and the raccoon held it up trying to place it on his head. 

Theseus, just like Tommy had been, was too tiny and the crown was too big, slipping down his body and clattering against the carpeted floor soundlessly. The piglin hybrid chuckled lightly, “A bit too big.” He held up a finger and went through the chest. 

It was right of the bottom, because of course it was, but Techno managed to find what he was looking for. A doll toy’s crown, Techno thinks the toy could have Wilbur’s when they were kids, the perfect size for the raccoon. 

The crown was placed on top of the raccoon’s head and Techno was sure he saw Theseus’ eyes light up and the raccoon reached up with his paws to feel the light weight on his head. 

Techno only hoped it wouldn’t become as heavy as his, he scooped the small creature up into his arms, his stomach rumbling. 

The piglin hybrid went down to the kitchen to make himself some breakfast but was pleasantly surprised to see Phil already downstairs, sitting at the dining table sipping a cup of tea, his wings twitching behind him and Techno recognised that as him being lost deep in his thoughts.

Theseus, after Techno places him down on the table, scurried over to Phil forcing the elder out of whatever daydream he’d been in. Phil smiled and scratched under the raccoon’s chin, cooing at the crown that sat on the top of his head. 

“Morning,” Techno greeted his dad, his tone slightly more gruff than it had been with the raccoon. Phil greeted him back but Techno could tell that the elder wanted to get lost in his thoughts once again however he seemed to be making an active attempt not to let that happen. 

One boiled kettle later and Techno was sitting across from Phil, swatting Theseus’ grabby hands away from his plate, the two fell into a slightly awkward conversation but it was better than their previous mornings where Techno barely saw Phil at all so he would take what he could get. 

“You haven’t seen Wil, have you?” Phil asked, frowning as Techno shook his head, “He was talking to me last night, well I think I woke him up by accident, but he said he was going back to bed, only I went to check on him and he wasn’t in his room.” It wasn’t unusual for Wilbur to vanish especially not recently but normally the newly revived man would simply walk out the front door, he wasn’t sneaky about it. 

Techno slipped away at his tea, he was sure Wilbur had his reasons, he instead decided to focus his attention on Theseus who kept scurrying up and down the table between Phil and Techno and the piglin hybrid was surprised with how fast he was going that the raccoon hadn’t ran himself off the table yet.

He heard a soft thud, nevermind. 

Bright green eyes filled to the brim with an uncommon fear stared through him, Wilbur had to admit that he was a little uneasy by the situation, he wasn’t used to the power balance being tipped in his favour. 

“You can bring Tommy back,” The newly revived man meant for it to sound commanding but it sounded more like a plead, a beg, he knew the prisoner had the powers to do so, he’d done it for him. 

A shaky nod came from Dream and Wilbur wondered what exactly had happened to the prisoner to make him like this, he couldn’t decide if he felt sympathy or not, a part of the newly revived man still regarded Dream as his hero whilst another part of him wanted to strangle him where he stood. 

He understood Tubbo’s claims of Tommy not wanting to be revived, they should just finally let him rest in peace but Wilbur couldn’t. 

“-If you get me out of here then I’ll revive him.”